Morning text exchange with my daughter who is studying in Australia:
Her: so…I met a beautiful girl from Japan. We had some drinks. Okay, a lot of drinks. Saki. Why didn’t you warn me about Saki?
Me: I expended so much energy when you were little watching out for the sharp edges of tables, hot stoves, power outlets, and open staircases, then had to worry about devious dudes, your sensitive soul, and all manner of teenage threats…we even discussed the danger of catching chlamydia from Koalas…I suppose I forgot to mention Saki.
Her: So, what you are saying is that you get how you failed me as a parent? And last night was not my responsibility? That makes me feel better. Thank you.
Me: Sure. That, or I am saying the dangers of Saki is a lesson you had to learn on your own. I pulled some Sensei/Jedi shit on you.
Her: Hard lesson. But, fair.
Me: Do you want to FaceTime? You can tell me all about the girl and your night.
Her: Yes, just don’t judge me for using a Hello Kitty bin as a puke bucket while we talk.
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Prushka Pixel Portrait
I'm currently making a Riko one too!
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sometimes when I get really tired and don't wanna keep going, I think about Jinki's song On the Way and imagine myself as an older woman and I imagine my little girl as a teenager. I imagine saying to her, "and what do you know about this?" just for her to be like "girl everyone knows this song you ain't special, you're just old" and then we'd just laugh and dance together.
sometimes that gets me through the day, sometimes that's what gets me through the hours, sometimes even the minutes.
I don't know what the future holds and sometimes my anxiety makes me not want the future to come because I'm scared it's going to come with something that I can't handle but I hold onto the opportunity to be with her and to watch her become a wonder.
I just want to live to give her everything I never had and to see her thrive in ways that I never could.
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