#i love jesper with all my heart thanks

[ashessonfire]

Hello, i have a potential kaz x reader request for you!! I, for some reason, love the idea of a very soft/domestic kaz moment with reader who isn’t involved in the crime life. So what about y/n being married to kaz and for some reason she makes her way down to the crow club (maybe someone broke into the house or something) and kaz is extreamly confused and concerned and the rest if the crows are like "andddd who are you?"

if you don't feel it, feel free to ignore!

'Intruder' - Kaz Brekker x reader

Prompt - Kaz is a highly secretive man, even to his closest friends, but what happens when a panicked citizen rushes into the Crow Club demanding his presence? It could even suggest that he had the ability to love. - Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Civilian!Reader (Gender neautral)(married for at least a few years but not specified) - Warnings: Thief enters readers house, brief mention of fighting and injury, a knife?? Kaz just being super soft for you! <333 PART TWO NOW POSTED! (click here) - A/N: Thank you for ALL the love on the last post, and my first fic ever! I hope this does just as well and its enjoyed too. I know its not as fluffy as maybe expected but i really like how it turned out. PLEASE KEEP REQUESTING!!(some moonknight coming soon) <3333

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The chilling wind of Ketterdam rushed past your face, adding to your already watering eyes that couldn’t stop frantically searching around for further threats.

You had been enjoying a quiet morning, browsing the market, drinking tea with friends, and even finding a new hat for Kaz. All was serene, until you turned the lock in the front door, only to be confronted by a menacing figure, knife gripped in one hand, Kaz’s favourite (and most expensive) tea set in the other.

A small gasp escaped you, before your mind took control, rushing forward to land a harsh blow directly on the figure’s nose, just at the right angle like Kaz had demonstrated.

He let out a murderous scream whilst dropping the tea set onto the ground, the shattering of the pieces echoing in your heart and mind. However, this granted you enough time to grab the edge of his jacket and pull him through the doorframe, using every ounce of your strength.

He stumbled down the steps of the small apartment, loosing his footing and falling rapidly, landing brutally on the cobblestone street below and roaring in pain as a jolting crack resounded from where he landed.

Without thinking, you scrambled inside, bolted the door, and ran as fast as you possibly could out of the side entrance, internally crying as your boots struggled through the remains of your husband's most beloved item.

As you struggled through the tight alleyway, you prayed that the Stadwatch had noticed the commotion and apprehended the man. As you bolted down the poorly lit streets of the barrel, thoughts of terror began plaguing your mind.

What if Kaz hadn’t taught you to defend yourself? What if you had reacted too slowly? Would Kaz be angry with you for not finishing the job? How would ‘Dirtyhands’ react to your utter horror at one intruder?

You were abruptly ripped from your thoughts by the unmistakable image of a crow, hanging magnificently above the crowded street. Pushing your way through the crowd, you suppressed the nerves rising in your chest, threatening to choke you, as you entered the crow club for the first time.

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The unmistakable smell of alcohol and smoke clouded your senses immediately, as crowds of ‘pigeons,’ as Kaz may call them, wandered around the floor without a care for others around them.

As frightening as the previous events had been, you didn’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by this too, shoving your violently shaking hands into your pockets to stop the visible nerves from showing.

Jesper and Wylan sat in close proximity at the bar edge, as far from the yelling and cheering of the customers as they possibly could. Your gazed locked onto the face of the tall Zemeni man, thinking back to the hundreds of times Kaz’s mask had slipped, and he had spoken fondly of his best friend.

Despite Kaz’s firm objection to verbal communication, he often fell victim to your warmth and comfort, his affections for his crew spilling into casual conversation, almost subconsciously. Of course, the Bastard of the Barrel couldn’t hold onto something as weak as friendship. However, this meant that you were very familiar with each of his ‘crows,’ despite never officially meeting any of them.

Mustering all the courage you could, you sucked in a sharp breath, preparing yourself for the challenging journey to your last hope at finding him.

You weaved your way cautiously between the rowdy groups, dodging drunken gestures and swinging arms, until you reached the pair sat at the bar, panic spreading through your body like wildfire. You made note to keep your hands firmly tucked within the safety of your jacket, in a feeble attempt to keep up a façade of confidence.

As their gazes turned towards you, you gently cleared your throat in the hopes of removing any indication of fright, and in turn, weakness from your voice.

“I’m looking for Kaz? Kaz Brekker?” you stuttered out, eyes darting around to avoid the quizzical gazes of the two men in front of you. Under different circumstances you wished to have met them when your usual air of joy blanketed not only you, but all of those who encountered you too. Yet it seemed like the Saints weren't on your side for that wish today.

You were snapped back from your thoughts, as they glanced at each other, sharing an unspoken but clear sense of bewilderment between them at your odd request. Often drunken pigeons, or rough street urchins would request to see the boss, but it wasn’t a common sight to see a regularly dressed citizen in such a state demanding an audience with Mr Brekker himself.

“I’m afraid it’s pretty difficult to get a meeting with the boss, always busy you know?” spoke the man you assumed to be Jesper, in a kind but skeptical tone, swirling the drink in his hand as he failed to decipher the reason for your visit.

Panic began to claw its way deeper into your chest, as you quickly blurted out “Please, its important, I need to see Kaz. Please bring me to see him.” The sudden outburst once again surprised the men, however Wylan’s gaze softened at the clear desperation on your features, and Jesper’s confusion morphed into something that resembled pity.

Wylan subtly leaned into Jesper, whispering “I think you should take her, she seems pretty desperate?” causing Jesper to let out a sigh before meeting your gaze yet again.

Reluctantly, Jesper stood up, stretching his limbs well, before letting out a dramatic sigh, followed by a feigned annoyance at the request, analyzing you for a moment before stating, “Let’s go see the boss then.”

He quickly turned back to you, flashing a lopsided, yet winning grin, which put to rest some of the bubbling anxiety that was becoming inescapable. As you ascended the stairs to his office, a skeptical looking woman glanced curiously up at the three of you, hopping out of her chair to trail behind you, whilst stuffing the remains of what looked like a waffle into her mouth.

Before you could inquire about the third individual following your small group, you were suddenly met with the dark oak door of Kaz Brekker’s office. Jesper shot another reassuring grin back at you, as he rapidly knocked on the office door and let himself in before an answer called out.

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The instant you saw your husband, the tears glossed over your eyes, shining with a dangerous threat of escaping. However, to your surprise, you were able to win the valiant battle for a little longer.

You knew how vital it was for your husband to keep his personal life separated from his work life; one wrong move, and you could end up in the hands of another gang, tortured in exchange for information on the Dregs. This knowledge was what kept you from barreling towards his desk without a second thought, with even the smallest slip from Jesper potentially ruining every bit of yours and Kaz’s struggle to break down his walls.

Kaz sat at his desk at the centre of the bleak room, a faint patch of light hitting his face from a glowing street lantern, casting deep shadows across his sharp features. His shoulders tensed as he remained solely focused on the blueprint in front of him, his harsh glare at the sheet almost seemed as if he was planning to murder it. Perhaps if you weren’t so shaken you may have let out a soft laugh at his pure concentration.

“What is it? I have no time for irrelevant interruption, this marksheet needs to be completed before twelve bells tonight,” A sharp voice suddenly cut through the thick silence. Jesper cleared his throat before confronting his boss, shifting his weight between each foot at the temper that Kaz was evidently displaying.

“Well, you see, I was sitting downstairs with Wylan at the bar, when all of a sudden…” Jesper started, but was cut off by a deadly look from Kaz to get to the point. As his gaze shot upwards towards the sharpshooter, he finally noticed the second figure in the room and his heart plummeted.

Why were you here?

Kaz’s mind began spinning, grasping for any logical reason as to why you were in the one of the most dangerous staves of the Barrel, requiring his assistance.

An identical panic to yours seized his chest as he inspected your state, your hair was windswept, eyes glossed over and glinting with a touch of fear, a visible shake to your arms and legs, which he had been fortunate enough to never experience until now.

You looked utterly terrified.

A single murderous look was enough for Jesper to throw his hands up in defense, and saunter quietly out of the room, glancing curiously back at the two of you as he shut the door. Jesper thought to himself that his life in the long run would be far more valuable than the price of his curiosity now.

Although Kaz is a man of few words, he seemed truly speechless, barely managing to register his own steps as he moved slowly towards you, each limp bringing his comfort closer and closer to you. Once he had reached your figure, he noticed you had curled in on yourself, hands clasped firmly together in front of you, and eyes darting rapidly around his face, searching for something, as it appeared to him.

He slowly reached towards you, and with a gloved hand, tenderly unwound your fingers from their iron grip, instead intertwining them with his own to bring you comfort and slow your light but swift breathing. Kaz remained tight-lipped, words rushing through his head, yet not formulating into any combination which he thought would be appropriate to calm you down.

He gazed intensely into your eyes, softening with each moment as he took in your shaken state, something that was rare due to his exceptional ability to keep you away from his violent life.

Until now.

Yet you had taught him not to run anymore when he encounters challenges, leading him to battle his mind later, and care for you in the present. Plus, you had the courage to make your way through the barrel in this condition, the least he could do was give you his everything.

You released a long, shaky sigh, staring only at Kaz’s chest now in order to match your breaths, imagining that your hearts were beating together too. You knew Kaz was struggling to find a grip within his thoughts, fingers twitching against your own as his body worked overtime, in a way it only did for you.

Several minutes passed in a strange silence, as the pair of you basked in each other's presence, the close distance allowing both of you to be assured the other is safe and within reach, yet the tension and anxiety still buzzed through the air.

“Someone broke in, I’m not sure who or from where. Tried to steal your favorite tea set, you know the one you brought back from Ravka once? I hit him square like you said. But it, but it boke. Shattered actually. It gave me enough time to run, but I don’t know. He may have followed or…” you suddenly burst out, the emotions flowing out of you through your words, and soon to follow were the tears.

You were cut off in your rambling however, as a feather-light kiss graced your temple, drawing you into a pool of warmth, suddenly able to feel the heat of the fire and the glow of the candles that surrounded Kaz’s office, likely gifts of yours.

Although Kaz’s voice was hardened, you knew he was holding back significantly to soothe you, building up wrath to unleash on the unfortunate man who entered your house earlier. The claws of the anxiety released their hold on you, allowing you to breathe deeply for the first time in hours.

“I’m here, darling, and you don’t need to think about that anymore,” he eventually breathed out, “I'll take care of it. I promise. I promise you,” he whispered against your forehead, again leaving the faintest outline of a kiss on the soft skin.

Whilst he was nowhere near healed, over the years you had opened up his deepest wounds and started to stitch them up, with each moment the pain easing ever so slightly. Direct touches were now common, with light pecks, or hand holding being Kaz's most favored actions.

Sometimes if you were lucky, you could get a short kiss on the lips, or a long hug through the safety of many layers; each being evident signs of his love for you, and how you were truly the only one to crack the code to the Bastard of the Barrel's heart.

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Kaz didn’t leave your side for the remainder of the night, bringing you anything you asked for, sitting the armchair closer to his desk to keep him company, hands held tightly until he deemed it safe enough to escort you home.

Wrapping you warmly with his largest coat, he gently placed his best hat atop your head, offering a small smile and breathy laugh as it tilted at an angle. Looking up to meet his gaze, you returned the grin, smile spreading to your eyes and cheeks. Kaz carefully adjusted the edges of the coat to obscure your face, being thorough in the process to avoid any identification of who was accompanying him.

As the door clicked open, and the pair stepped into the hallway, pinkies interlinked, a group of three snooping crows barreled backwards, hitting into each other and the walls. Kaz sent a deathly glare at each of them, as they stood in shock at the sight before them, Jesper gasping, Wylan gaping with fright, and Nina's smirk widening by the second.

After a series of extreme threats hurled at the group outside his office, Kaz pushed past them and dragged you with him, turning his coat collar upwards to hide the growing embarrassment colouring his face.

He crushed the feeling down, instead turning to his internal plotting to enact revenge on your behalf, inwardly smirking at the image of the man begging him for mercy as he pays for his offence in blood.

Meanwhile, Nina stood grinning to herself, proud of her newfound knowledge which she was certain she could use against Kaz at some point soon. Because from that office, she not only heard the hammering heart of the poor citizen girl, but also the one of a love-struck gang leader too.

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#kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader fluff #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader imagines #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n

[stray-kaz]

Memento Mori : a Kaz Brekker x f!reader oneshot

A/N: A request! Thank you for this idea!

Summary: Reader is poisoned by a rival gang leader hoping to force Kaz to his knees by taking you down. Kaz is afraid and murderous, a fatal combination.

Reader’s nickname, because of her profession, is Bee. (And it’s just easier sometimes to allow use of some kind of name instead of being constantly vague).

Memento mori: remember you must die.

Warnings: Violence, blood, near death. Poisoning. Kaz near breaking point.

Inej flew up the stairs in the Slat to Kaz’s quiet office, Jesper tearing after her, coattails flying out behind him. Matthias waited at the bottom of the flight, your limp, still form in his arms. Nina stood next to him, sweat beading on her forehead as she pressed both hands hard down against your heart.

“I am not a healer, I am not a healer, I am not a healer” she kept muttering.

“You’re all she has” Matthias reminded her gently. “Just keep going.”

Kaz looked up from the ledger he was filling in, irritation written all over his features, when Inej and Jesper burst in, panting. They had run all the way from the bottom of the Barrel.

“What is it?” he demanded.

“It’s Bee” Jesper managed to gasp out. “Talyss stung back.”

Kaz stood with such force his chair skidded away and toppled over. He grabbed his cane from its position leaning against his desk and pushed between Jesper and Inej, making his way down the stairs faster than they’d seen before.

He didn’t make a misstep and he didn’t stumble or fall, but when he saw you, Kaz wondered briefly if this was what death felt like. His hands shivered inside his gloves as he raised a hand to remove an errant curl from your forehead. Nina stared; it was the tenderest thing she had ever seen him do. He loved you.

“My room” Kaz rasped, and stepped aside so that Matthias could carry you upstairs, Nina edging along the banister so she could keep your heart going.

Inej was just finishing preparing Kaz’s bed when you were laid down gently on top of it. She covered up to your waist with a heavy blanket and Nina sank down beside you, her skirts rustling around her.

Kaz hovered like a ghost in the doorway of his own bedroom, watching your face, wan and lax. Your eyes rolled beneath their lids, and just as he was about to bite his tongue, come closer and hold your hand, Wylan skidded into the room and did just that. His knees slammed onto the wooden floorboards and, bright eyes wild, fluffy hair in disarray. He squeezed your hand and you whimpered, still unconscious.

Kaz took a threatening step into the room, but Jesper moved to block him, shaking his head firmly. Kaz glared at him, but for once, Jesper didn’t flinch.

“He’s her friend” he said quietly.

It was true, and Kaz knew it. Wylan was his chemist, bombmaker, demo man. And you were his poison maker, his sting, and the love of his abominable life. You worked with Wylan most days and were more now like brother and sister. He loved you, too.

Wylan looked up at Jesper then, an idea sparking in his eyes. 

“You can take the poison” he said, looking suddenly a little feverish himself.

Jesper glanced uneasily around the room as he suddenly felt all eyes on him. He rocked back on his heels, met Kaz’s implacable gaze.

“I’ve never done it” he beseeched, spreading his hands out wide. “This is what killed my mother, Kaz.”

He felt a tug on his hand and glanced down at Wylan.

“You wouldn’t need to take all of it, Jesper. She practices with poisons every day, taking small amounts to build up immunity, always with an antidote to hand. Tonight, you are the antidote. She just needs enough gone for her system to start fighting on its own” he told him.

Jesper looked at Kaz again; he said nothing. Jesper sighed quietly and gently nudged Inej out of the way so he could sit opposite Nina and clasp your other hand. He closed his eyes and concentrated, feeling his way along the channels of your veins, almost able to taste the metals in your blood.  Fine dark veins rose on the back of your hand and your eyes flew open to stare at Jesper. You tried to pull your hand away, but he held fast, swallowing hard against the pain.

Kaz’s jaw clenched so tight he thought he felt a tooth crack when your first cry rent the air. Tears spilled over your lashes and onto your cheeks, and you tried again and again to pull away from Jesper, but he was stronger than you and could sense the end of it.

Wylan held tightly to your other hand and Matthias stood sentinel behind him, a stony set to his jaw, though his eyes were worried. Kaz had never seen you cry tears of pain. He had never heard the animal sounds wailing out of you, howling at the walls and the window. He had never seen you break.

He tightened his grip on his cane. He was going to find Talyss and his band of thugs, beat him nearly to his grave and then pour his poison down his throat to send him the rest of the way.

As he turned to leave, he felt a hand lightly brush his sleeve and looked to see Nina. He raised his eyebrows impatiently, waiting.

“Bee is strong enough” Nina said steadily. “There is hope for her, Kaz.”

He merely shook off her hand and spoke over his shoulder as he walked away.

“Hope is dangerous, Nina.”

As Dirtyhands made his way to the bottom of the Barrel, gutter dwellers avoided eye contact and leapt out of his way, edging back into the shadows. He heard the whispers as he passed, cold fury and determination disguising his limp. There were those nearby him who knew why he was there and those who had no idea and were terrified to see him. Either way, both types of people hid their faces and did their best to remain undetected.

The door to Talyss Novak’s converted warehouse was locked, which didn’t surprise or deter Kaz. Normally, he’d go quiet and careful, but tonight he didn’t care for quiet or careful. He didn’t reach for his lockpicks, he simply hefted his cane in both hands and swung it at the door handle. It crunched under the weight of the crow’s head and the inner lock clattered onto the floor on the other side.

Kaz pushed the door out of his way with the toes of one shoe and stepped across the dark threshold, cane still gripped tightly in one fist. His other hand had slipped into his pocket, gloved fingers tightening slightly around the vial of poison he had picked up from the workshop you shared with Wylan along the way. He had no idea if it was the same poison or what it did, but judging by the thick red “!!!” on the white label, it would hurt.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he twisted out from under it, wrenching slightly but not caring. He swung the cane like a truncheon and felt something give wetly under his strength. There was a strangled scream and then they all came out of nowhere, trying their best to take down the bastard of the Barrel. But Kaz would not be taken anywhere tonight. He could smell blood, and he wanted it all, the sounds of your pain still ringing in his ears.

When there were bodies heaped around his feet, some still and noiseless, some groaning pitifully, he reached down and grabbed the coat collar of the most alive one. He moved in nice and close, face blood stained and dripping.

“Your boss” he hissed, teeth bared. “Now.”

A weak hand pointed towards a twisting stair shaped shadow and Kaz dropped him back to the hard concrete floor and stepped away, the men already forgotten.

The staircase was quiet and he could hear the soft sound of blood on his glove slipping on his heavy cane. He reached the top and moved silently along the landing, again reaching for the poison in his trouser pocket. A door at the furthest end of the hallway stood ajar. His instincts screamed that the worst of Novak’s men would be behind that door, but he could not bring himself to care. They would all die.

As he approached the dark side of the door, he heard his name spoken.

“Brekker.”

The door swung open and a single lone man appeared, backlit by the interior. With a flick of his thumb, Kaz released the tiny vial stopper and circled finger and thumb around the glass neck.

“How’s your girlfriend? Still breathing? Or dead as a dormouse?”

Kaz walked forward slowly, clenching his teeth against the pain of hiding his limp. Peripheral room checks told him he was alone with Talyss. The man was a maniac, or stupid. Kaz was betting on the latter.

“Did you really think you could take me down by removing my sting? Novak, I don’t need anyone. You made a mistake thinking that I do.”

“Then why’re you here, Dirtyhands?”

“To make you pay for that mistake.”

Kaz decided to temporarily forgo use of his cane; instead he struck with his other hand, shoving the vial with its contents into Novak’s mouth, swallowing hard against the bitter bile that rose in his throat as his gloved hand forced the man’s jaw up and shut and he heard the splintering of glass plink against his teeth. 

Novak screamed through closed lids, Kaz’s hand tightening even harder. Thirty seconds dripped past and Novak finally wrenched himself away, opening his mouth to spit glass and a damp pinkish mist. He coughed, choking, and Kaz realised enough glass had been inhaled to perforate his lungs. Talyss Novak was drowning in his own blood, before the poison even did its work.

Kaz helped him along a little; he lifted his cane and lightly prodded the older man in the centre of his chest with the solid flat end. It didn’t take much prodding before he was flat on his back on the cold rough concrete, rasping blood soaked air in through piecemeal lungs.

Kaz stepped closer and leaned over him, watching until his eyes started to stare and his chest stopped spasming. Then he turned and walked out the way he came, blood and fear pounding in his ears.

When Kaz finally staggered back in through the doorway of his bedroom in the Slat, he saw you sitting up in his bed, leaning heavily against Jesper’s chest but rosy cheeked, damp hair sticking to your forehead. Your eyes were opioid bright, glossy and damp looking, but they focused on him with the ferocity he was used to, and something loosened inside his chest. He opened his mouth, and what came out surprised all of them, but most of all him.

“Please.”

Nina held you up while Jesper eased out from behind you, then plumped several pillows up behind your back and shoulders. Inej briefly touched your shoulder and Wylan blew you a kiss. Nina leaned hard on Matthias as they walked out of the room, followed by the other three.

Alone finally, Kaz shed his cane and coat and almost collapsed onto the bed next to you. He retained his gloves, which you understood; in your current state, sweating and clammy, the touch of your skin on his would remind him too much of Jordie. But he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you down onto his chest, and held on as tightly as he thought you could cope with. 

You sighed.

“Is the problem dealt with?” you asked quietly, your voice sounding uncomfortable and hoarse.

Kaz scoffed a chuckle and nodded.

“Yes. The problem is dealt with. No more stinging the stinger.”

“Good. ‘Cause it pretty much sucks.”

Kaz tipped your chin up slightly so he could see your eyes, his expression serious.

“You will improve your immunity” he said, a statement and not a question. “I do not want to do that again.”

What he meant was: I will not survive your near death again. If you die, I will also.

You gazed back at him and nodded.

“I will” you promised. “Never again, Kaz.”

He nodded back, leaned his head on the wall of pillows and closed his eyes, settled for now with the knowledge of you safe in his arms.

Tagging: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r​ 

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x female reader #liss writes #shadow and bone fic #soc fic #six of crows

[barrel-crow-n]

The crows povs summarised

Kaz: Revenge. Vengeance. Violence. Hate. Jordie. Inej. Violence. Pain. Suffering. Revenge. Revenge. Fuck Van Eck. Jordie. Jordie. I fucking hate Pekka Rollins. Inej. Inej. Inej.

Inej: I'm strong now. I have a purpose again! I miss my parents :(. I hate slavers. I'm going to kill Kaz, but also he's super hot. I love my friends :). I love my parents. Suli proverbs. I am a badass. I hate Tante Heleen. I am going to carve out the hearts of Jan Van Eck and Pekka Rollins.

Jesper: Look at me! I'm so funny! I hate myself. Flirting. Kaz is hot as fuck. Wylan is kinda cute. Guns. I love my revolvers. I love being a criminal. I hate what I've become. I just want to make my da proud. Guilt. Guilt. Hey why are you looking past my funny exterior. Hey why are you doing that, please stop.

Wylan: I'm not a criminal. What am I doing here??? Fuck Kuwei. I hate my dad. Jesper's hot. I'm doing this for Inej; for my mother. Kaz is terrifying... but that's not going to stop me from mouthing off to him. I am good at demo thank you very much. But also I hate chemistry. How is this my life.

Nina: I am a badass grisha. Waffles. Food. Ravka. Matthias. I want to strangle Kaz. I want parem but also I hate it so much. I hate cravings. Grisha. I want Zoya's approval. Fuck Van Eck. I'm wracked with guilt over what I did to Matthias although it was to save his life. I'm broken. My powers are all wrong.

Matthias: Nina. Nina. Druskelle. Nina or the druskelle? I am a traitor :(. Djel. I have been practicing my religion wrong. I no longer want to be a part of a hate cult. Kaz is a demon. Inej is also a demon but I don't mind her as much. The grisha aren't that bad actually. Kaz is from hell. What the fuck is wrong with Kaz? These guys all need to go to military discipline.

#jesper's self hatred is so real #also kaz is... he's kaz #“whats wrong with him” “same thing that's always wrong with him. he's kaz brekker.” #also inej. slay queen. take them hearts <3 #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows duology

[nolita-fairytale]

burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter two

summary: you decided to meet luca, taking him up on his offer to return the favor, and it gives the both of you the opportunity to get to know each other better.

warnings: fluff, eventual smut, eventual angst not use of y/n, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the world of the bear.

word count: 2777

a/n: for an america's indepedence day, have a hot brit and a love story that takes place in denmark lmao. okay so now we're all caught up with what i wrote for the headcanon and boy do i have some surprises in store for you next. thank you so much for all of the reactions to chapter one and the headcanon. this story has weaseled its way into my heart and has taken over my brain. i'm writing it for me but it's nice to hear others are enjoying it too. anyways, let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

chapter one | masterlist | chapter three

“You have to go!” Jesper insists with the kind of conviction of a damn good lawyer. 

“I don’t have to anything,” you reply, making sure to emphasize the word ‘have.’

“No, you have to go,” Mathilde chimes in, a little softer, a little kinder than her brother’s earlier encouragement. 

After your post-shift meeting, everyone had gone home, save for the three of you – the Mikkelson twins cornering you about Luca’s thank-you-card proposition.

“Well, since you both keep harping on it, why don’t you come with me?” you suggest, in an attempt to shift the focus off of you. 

Your eyes scan their faces, trying to get a read on the both of them as Jesper and Mathilde exchange a pointed look, having the kind of non-verbal exchange that only comes from having shared every moment of their lives together.

“What?” you ask, looking back and forth from Mathilde to Jesper again.

“It wasn’t addressed to us,” Mathilde points out with a shrug, a sly look on her face. “It was only addressed to you.”

“Looks like someone has a crush,” Jesper adds with a smirk. 

“He doesn’t have a crush!” you protest without hesitation, your heart seizing for a moment. 

“A talent crush,” Mathilde reasons, knowing that anything more than a talent-crush would talk you out of going entirely. 

“Would it be the worst thing in the world if he did?” Jesper continues, much to both you and Mathilde’s chagrin. “I mean, when was the last time you got-, ow!”

Sharply cut off by an elbow to the rib, Jesper glares at his sister before returning his attention to you. 

“I’m just saying! He’s sexy. He’s a chef at one of the best restaurants in the world. You could do worse for yourself,” Jesper clarifies, earning another glare from his sister. 

He has a point, but you ignore it, because you’re not really sure if you’re ready to go there just yet. You think it over, and after giving it another moment, you open your mouth to speak again. 

“Alright, I’ll go,” you sigh in resignation, earning a few celebratory comments and gasps from the twins. “Are you both happy now?”

And that’s how – after at least an hour of stressing out about what to wear to a place like this – you find yourself standing in front of a closed restaurant on a day where almost everything is closed in Denmark. You’d settled on a pair of wide leg denim pants, a square toed boot appropriate for navigating the Copenhagen cobblestone, and a white and black striped sweater, slightly tucked into the front of your jeans that hangs loosely from your frame. 

Classic. Put-together enough for a two-starred Michelin restaurant on closed day. Certainly not a date kind of outfit.

Luca proves once again to be punctual as ever as he greets you at the front door, right on time. He wears a blue t-shirt that seems to emphasize his already intense blue eyes with a navy-colored apron layered over top of it. 

“You came,” are the first words he says to you, a wide smile spreading across his lips as soon as he sees you.

“Yeah I uh-, thank you. For inviting me,” you stammer, nervously searching for the right words. 

“Thank you for coming. Well, c’mon then!” he encourages, nodding towards the inside as he holds the door open for you. 

“Did you find the place alright?” Luca asks you, as you follow him. 

He leads you into the vaulted basement – the space that makes up the Danish-style, fine dining restaurant that’s been a leader in innovation. You follow Luca through the closed dining room, back into the kitchen, and then into the pastry room as you answer his question, mentioning that it wasn’t too long of a walk and that you found the place just fine.

As soon as you see what he’s been working on, it renders you near-speechless. You can see that he’s been hard at work – on his day off, no less – almost as if he knew you would come. 

“Would you like to have a seat?” he offers, gesturing towards the pastry bench. 

“Uh.. yeah. That’d be great. I-, um… thank you… again, for inviting me,” you answer, watching as he brings a stool over to it, setting up a little space for you. 

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. It’s really the least I can do. Think after this we’re uh… what 5 to 1?” he replies casually, in reference to the fact that he’ll only have fed you once in comparison to the amount of times he’s come to the restaurant. 

You chuckle, returning with a playful, “Well, I don’t think anyone’s keeping score.”

He sends a crooked smile your way, one that you know you’ll be thinking about for the rest of the week, before exchanging a laugh with you. 

“Just think of it as a thank you. For the great meals. For the hospitality,” he continues, as you watch him plate his gelee-focused dish. First the chocolate, then yellow, white, and green. A carefully tweezed wafer on top. 

“This is a shiso gelee with a chocolate mint ganache, finished with a thin slice of marzipan, and a caramel cracker. It’s from our current menu,” Luca introduces, walking you through the dish like you walked him through your crispy rice and trumpet mushroom dish. 

He pushes the plate-that-looks-more-like-a-pedestal towards you for you to try, his eyes meeting yours. Luca studies you carefully as you pick up the fork he’s set out for you, cutting through the gelee for your first bite. He watches as you scoop up a little of the ganache, making sure to get a bit of the cracker as well. 

You’re creating a perfect bite – one with a little bit of everything – just like he’d done with the first dish of yours he had a month or so ago. 

As you raise the fork to your lips, taking your first bite, the vibrant flavors hit your tongue with surprise and brilliance that you weren’t expecting. It’s somehow new, innovative, yet nostalgic all at once. 

“Oh my god,” you say with a sigh of pure bliss. You savor each and every flavor, taking your time with your first bite before continuing with: “It’s almost like-.”

“A minty snickers bar?” he offers up with a quirk of an eyebrow. 

“That’s exactly it!” you cry out with joy. 

He smiles proudly, “Yeah, it’s a nice dish.”

“So how long have you been doing this? Cooking…? Or have you done Pastry the whole time?” you ask, digging into the rest of the gelee. 

“About fourteen years… give or take. Started when I was a kid… just washing dishes… was a bit of a rebel…. The kitchen gave me a place to land,” he shares with an ease and charm that makes you feel like you could tell him all of your secrets. 

“Yeah, no I-, I get that,” you agree, enjoying your second bite of Luca’s shiso dish. 

“Gave my mum a little peace of mind. That’s for sure. Don’t think I was an easy kid to raise,” he continues as you listen. 

“Didn’t start pastry till about three years ago or so. Went mostly the fine dining route… worked my way up to sous position at a really great place, but wasn’t interested in moving up the ranks in that regard. Decided it was time to try something different.”

You nod with respect for his decision for change. 

“Where’d you grow up?” you ask curiously, watching him wipe down the pastry bench with a clean towel as he begins to prepare for a second dish.

“London,” he answers. 

“Oh! I uh, lived there for a few years, actually,” you say, sharing a familiar smile with him. 

“What about you? Where’d you grow up? And how long have you been cooking for?” he asks, shifting the focus of the conversation to you. 

“Boston,” you reply. 

He hums in response, “I’ve never been. What was that like?”

“Boston is great. Good weather, great food, interesting people. ‘S actually where I learned how to cook. My mom’s a single parent so… I spent a lot of time at our neighbor’s house… and their restaurant. They still own this Italian restaurant that’s like… been in the family for a hundred or so years and I practically grew up there,” you explain, sharing parts of yourself – of your story – in return. 

“Oh yeah?” he asks, an amused look on his face. 

“Yeah, we hung out there a lot when we were kids – me and my best friend. Then when I was old enough to work, I marched in one day after school and pitched myself for a job, demanding that I cook and that I’d accept nothing less” you reminisce trying your best to recreate the bold confidence of your fifteen year old self.

Luca chuckles in response, “That’s incredible,”

“I was a rather precocious child,” you add, laughing with a fondness for that previous version of you.

He smiles, “Yeah, I know the feeling well.”

Luca clears his throat, pulling out a clean bowl and beginning to plate something new. He explains that this one is a savory dish, starting with a fermented sourdough cracker as he walks you through the flavor profiles of each component, mentioning that it’s got to be one of his favorites on the menu so far. 

“I’m up for sharing if you are,” you suggest, in response to his last comment. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

You watch as Luca picks up another fork, digging into the dish with you. There’s an intimacy that comes from sharing a meal with someone – eating off the same plate, enjoying the same sensory experience, quite literally breaking bread – that makes Luca feel less and less like a stranger to you with each bite. You still can’t believe that he’s done this for you – that you’re here – and while you’re not sure why, you lean into a softness, allowing yourself to enjoy it while it’s happening. 

“Did you go to culinary school?” you ask him, over your last few shared bites.

“No, what about you?” he replies quickly. 

“No, I actually majored in business,” you answer, earning a hum from him. 

“Huh…” he sounds, with a raise of both eyebrows in surprise. 

“I know…” you groan, with a playful eye roll more so directed at yourself. “My first career was in finance… account management. Then I did the whole investment thing for a while… it was uh… really sexy stuff, I know.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who would’ve been happy doing something like that,” Luca observes, only surprising you a little that he’d be able to pick up on something like that so quickly. 

“Oh no. I wasn’t. I was miserable,” you echo in agreement. You take a breath, and a beat, before explaining. “It was more of… a wish fulfillment thing, I think. For my mom. I mean, it wasn’t my dream, by any means. But having stability was important to me, to my mom…. To my partner at the time.”

“And now?”

You wait a beat before answering. 

“And now… I’m just… figuring it out as I go.”

Your eyes flicker over the ‘every second counts’ sign that hangs on the wall while Luca busses the table once again, sharing that he’s got one more dish he’d like for you to try. You settle into a quiet rhythm as you sit back and allow him to provide an experience unlike any other you’ve had. You watch him carefully as he moves around the kitchen prepping for his last dish, taking in each and every tattoo visible on his arms. 

“Every second counts,” you speak out loud, returning your attention to the sign. 

“Yeah,” he nods, turning his attention to where you’re looking. “It’s uh-, something an old head chef of mine used to say. Really stuck with me.”

You nod in agreement as he pulls out a final dessert plate. 

“‘S actually what brought me to you,” he continues, in reference to the sign. “An old friend of mine called me for a favor. He’s opening a new restaurant and wanted their patissier to come stage here for a bit.” 

Luca begins plating his final dish using a few pastry rings, a clean pair of tweezers, and berries left macerating in a deli container with a laser focus that you’d expect from a pastry chef at a two-starred Michelin restaurant.

“We got into… this whole conversation about inspiration. How to find it. Where to find it. I told him he’s gotta be open… to everything. To things out there. That that’s how you succeed in this industry – how you set yourself apart,” Luca adds, impressing you with his precision of plating while sharing something so personal. 

“It reminded me that… it’s been a while since I’ve opened myself up to… well… anything outside of this place.”

“No, yeah, I totally get it. It’s easy to get lost in it – it being the four walls of your restaurant. Running a restaurant is relentless. One minute you put your head down and the next…” you empathize with him. 

“It’s three weeks later.”

“Yeah.”

“Which leads me to why I asked you here,” Luca segways, as he finishes his final dish. “I ran into a little bit of writers’ block – or rather, chef’s block, if you will – working on our Summer menu.” 

He presents the dish towards you, earning a gasp from you as you take in the stunning creation.

“Knew I needed to get out of here for a beat. Get out of my head. Get some new perspectives.”

“Is this for your new menu?” you ask, your eyes devouring the cake-based dish first. 

“Maybe… just something I’ve been working on – something that’s been floating around in my head a while,” he shrugs, watching you carefully as he tries to search your face for any kind of reaction. 

You dig your fork into the spongey, tea-soaked, circular layered cake, raising it to your lips and immediately finding pure joy as you taste it. 

Yuzu. Earl Grey. The cake is almost like a lady finger – tiramisu-like in the way that it eats – filled with a yuzu curd in between each layer of cake, then finished with what you can only assume is a sort of black sesame dust that he’s sifted over top of the dish. 

“Woah,” is all that comes out of your mouth.

“Yeah?” Luca questions, unable to hide the smile that spreads across his lips. 

“Yeah uh… Why does this feel so familiar? It’s like… you’re reading my mind with this one,” you ask, your eyes wide savor each note. 

“Well, it should. Feel familiar, that is. It’s inspired by you,” Luca explains, treading carefully around the last few words. 

“What do you-?” you begin to ask, before the words leave you. 

You half expect him to tell you he’s joking, and you can’t tell whether or not it’s a blush running across his high cheekbones that you spot, as he turns his attention elsewhere. He begins moving around the kitchen, eager to begin cleaning up after himself to recover from the sheer vulnerability he feels from sharing this with you. 

Was this why he’d invited you here? 

“Luca,” you say, your words stopping him as he turns back to you. 

“What’s up?” he asks, so casually, as if he hadn’t just called you his muse. 

"All of this... you did all of this for me…. Why?" you muster up the courage to ask, the words falling out of your mouth with a weight you don’t expect. 

He takes a beat, afraid of coming on too strong, considering you’ve only just met, yet wanting nothing more than to tell you the truth.

Luca sighs, choosing the latter, before laying it all out on the table.

 "Your food is inspired and I don’t think I’ve had something this inspired in a long time,” he explains before pausing. “Your passion for Italian cuisine… weaving in the bits and pieces of yourself and approaching it from different culinary perspectives? You inspired me.” 

He takes another beat. 

“And as chefs, this is what we do. We feed each other." 

You’re speechless, but you can feel yourself nodding in agreement as you mumble out the most reverent ‘thank you’ that you can muster. You can feel it – that this is the beginning of, well, you're not quite sure what – but whatever it is, you're glad he walked into your restaurant however many weeks ago.

“Luca?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for sharing this with me.”

He nods, one corner of his mouth turning up into a smile. 

“Cheers.”

#chef luca #will poulter #luca the bear #the bear season 2 #the bear headcanon #luca x reader #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #chef luca x reader #pastry chef luca #burn your life down

[queenofspades6]

Greatest Investment | Kaz Brekker x reader

Summary: You eavesdrop on Kaz and Inej, you watched as they get closer, and well, it doesn’t go as planned…

Based on this request I received:

”Hiii! I haven't watched the second season yet, but I saw a Gif of a kiss (or almost kiss) between Kaz and Inej, and I was wondering if you would write about the reader having feelings for Kaz since they met, but she doesn't have the courage to talk, so at some point in the day she goes to check if Kaz needs anything and ends up witnessing the kiss (or almost kiss) between Kaz and Inej, and the reader feels like the silliest person in the world after that.”

Warnings: Angst. (Sorry…)

A/N: Hi! I hope you’ll enjoy what I wrote, I took some liberties since I was so inspired by the request!! I love some good angst! Did I use again in a Kaz Brekker fic title the word ‘investment’? Oops…I think meeting Freddy and Amita made me that way! They are so incredible!

———

Being Ketterdam’s most famous assassin wasn’t an easy life. You were one of Kaz Brekker’s Crows, always here if needed. Since you were part of the Crows, there was something unspoken between Kaz and you. There was some sort of tension from the beginning, even Nina and Jesper had noticed.

”How is the most beautiful woman in Ketterdam doing?“ Jesper asked, taking place to the bar counter next to you.

You rolled your eyes and repressed a grin.

“What do you want, Jesper?“

“Can’t I just compliment you without needing a reason?”

You stared at him meticulously, but Jesper couldn’t look back. Interesting. He needed to ask you something then...

“Fine! Fine! I need your help.“

You sighed but smiled.

”What? It’s not my fault, Y/N, if you give good advice! Don’t blame me!”

”Jesper, what do you need me for?“ You questioned, taking a sip at your drink.

“You see...“

Jesper was trying to avoid your gaze.

”Jesper. My patience has its limits.”

“Alright! Fine! I want to prepare a date for Wylan and I need your help.” He spitted, playing with his gun on his hand.

You nodded.

”I’ll help you. What do you need me for?“

”I don’t know what to plan. Maybe something he’ll like.”

You laughed, thinking about your previous conversation with Wylan about a sweet and wonderful place you both wanted to go to escape for once the cold streets of Ketterdam.

“Jes. You know what? Bring him to Butterfly’s Heaven, you declared, a smile already drawing on your lips at the thought, it’s a greenhouse where all the species of butterfly can fly freely. There’s also an endearing cafe there to drink something while watching the butterflies.” You replied, stars already dancing in your eyes thinking about all the marvelous butterflies.

“Do you think Wylan will love it?”

”Definitely! We talked about it all week, and he was desperate to go. You should bring him. He’ll love it. And buy him a stuffed toy, he’ll marry you right after.”

Jesper was smiling at the thought of Wylan asking his hand in marriage.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“You and Wylan deserve to be happy.“

“What if it’s not enough, Y/N? What if I am not enough?” He opened up, not caring if he was vulnerable in front of you.

“You are enough, Jesper, you always have.”

You looked at him and smiled, hoping one day you’ll find someone that will care for you as much as Jesper wants Wylan.

“Wylan thinks you are enough, he loves you, Jes. And even Kaz knows it, even if he won’t ever admit it.”

You took another sip of the whisky in front of you and heard someone giggling.

”Hi Y/N!”

Wylan was embracing Jesper with his hands around his shoulders.

“Hi you.” Wylan said to Jesper.

Jesper didn’t even reply and kissed him tenderly as if he were the most precious thing in the world. And at that moment, you swore he were. They broke the kiss, and Wylan blinked several times as if to recover from the intensity of the kiss. It warmed your heart, even if you said nothing.

“What were you talking about?” Wylan asked, coming back to his senses.

Jesper almost jumped off his seat.

”We were talking about Y/N’s feelings for Kaz!“ Jesper answered spontaneously, too scared to reveal what he had planned.

”What? We were?” You almost spitted your drink on the counter of the bar. Now you were facing Jesper and Wylan. How dare he expose you like that?

”Oh seems interesting.” Wylan said, waiting for you to say more.

“There’s nothing between me and Kaz.”

Wylan looked at you wide-eyed, and Jesper sighed, before saying:

”Lie, Y/N. Haven’t you noticed how Kaz always checks on you after a heist, how you always have dresses, jewels, food, everything you want given to you for nothing in shops, you think it’s because of your fine looks? No. Even if you’re beautiful, Y/N, no offense! It’s Kaz’s doing. He made me went with him to each shop, each café, each place in Ketterdam you would want to go to pay, or should I say ‘bribe’ them for you to always have what’s best, no matter the cost.”

”That’s not true, that’s-”

”And what about this time you almost died, and he stayed at your bed an entire week, ordering every Dreg not to disturb him, and how you always have your tea and waffles ready for you every morning? Even Nina is jealous!” He confessed.

”I thought it was you or Wylan who was making me breakfast every morning!”

”It’s not.“ He muttered.

”He’s right, Y/N.” Wylan nodded. ”Even Nina told me last time about how his heartbeat jumped when you are in the same place, and how irritating it was for her to feel both of your heartbeats jumping when you’re together.”

“You should tell him how you feel, Y/N. You are the one who encouraged me to be with Wylan, because life is short, and in Ketterdam, death is always near. He cares about you, more than he’ll ever admit.”

”I don’t have feelings for Kaz fucking Brekker!” You almost screamed and avoided Wylan and Jesper’s gazes.

You took your glass of whisky and finished it all. The feeling of alcohol burning your throat almost soothed you.

”You do.” Jesper smiled and teased you.

”No, I don’t!”

Wylan rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’stuborness.

”Y/N! There you are, I thought you were with Kaz!”

You jumped off your seat. Fortunately for you, it was only Nina and not Dirtyhands himself.

”Nina, you scared the hell out of me.”

She grinned as if she had planned it all along.

”What are the three of you up to?“ She questioned, eyebrows raised.

"We are talking about Y/N’s feelings for Kaz.” Wylan answered before you could even speak.

”Not you too, Wylan!”

He smirked, almost shyly, and even if you wanted to blame him, you couldn’t blame his cute silly face.

”Hmmm, you and Waffles are not so discreet with your feelings.”

You sighed and tried to ignore Nina’s voice. You knew that if you listened to them, you would probably end up in Kaz’s office confessing your feelings for him, because on some missions, it became unbearable. The need to protect him, to check on him, how he could make you feel powerful and useless at the same time.

“Y/N. Heartbeats don’t lie.” Nina whispered to you, and you were sure Wylan and Jesper would not hear.

”Stop Nina. I- I- He’s not in love with me. Kaz Brekker can’t be in love. Love is a weakness, and I am only his latest investment.” You repeated, only to convince yourself of it.

“So how do you explain how his heartbeat go faster when you’re here, how I can feel his heart trying to get out of his chest when you’re injured. He cares. He tries to hide it, but the heart doesn’t lie. Never.”

You looked at her blue ocean eyes, and she caressed your shoulder in encouragement.

”Try to tell him, try to tell him you care, if only that. Love is a fragile thing, cherish it while it lasts.”

You swore you saw an ounce of sadness and regret flashing in her eyes as she remembered Matthias.

“I think you can help him with his past.” Nina muttered.

You looked at your empty glass, and noticed how your hands were trembling. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was time for you to tell him, that at least you cared for him. More than him being just your Boss.

You stood up, levelled up your chin, and took several steps towards Kaz’s office.

You were Ketterdam’s most notorious assassin, and you would not be afraid.*

You advanced towards the door slowly, you wanted to knock but the door was already ajar.

You could do it, you had done so much worse. You took a deep breath before-

You heard voices in his office. You heard him first, talking with a female voice, a voice you didn’t not recogn-

it was Inej’s.

Kaz and Inej were in his office talking. Your instinct was screaming at you to leave and come back later, but curiosity got the better of you.

You stayed, you tried to understand what they were saying, but you couldn’t. Slowly the most slowly possible you pushed the door and waited. Kaz and Inej were still talking, you took it as a sign they didn’t hear your presence. You weren’t Ketterdam’s best assassin for nothing. You took a silent step and looked at Kaz’s office.

You didn’t expect what you saw.

Kaz and Inej were close, too close for your liking, dangerously close. Too close that any of them could bear. So how was it they were here, almost touching each other. You swore Kaz could feel Inej’s breathing on his chin.

Watching them so close together made your heart beating faster. You wanted to scream but no sound came. No explanation came to your mind. Why was Inej here? You tried to focus on the words you heard, but none of them made sense. You were near but you couldn’t hear them clearly, it was as if your brain didn’t want you to eavesdrop. You heard some words like ‘crows’ and ‘family’.

You pushed the door again, without a sound. You leaned on the door and focused on the voices.

“Inej.”

You heard Kaz’s voice as it broke, and you needed to take a glimpse at what was going on right now. You took a deep breath and looked at them. Kaz���s gloved hand was on Inej’s shoulder. They were staring at each other like nothing else mattered in the entire world. Even if you were not close, you could decipher Inej’s surprise at Kaz’s sudden touch.

”Let me go, Kaz.”

Kaz removed his hand, and an ounce of sadness and rejection passed on his face.

“We need you, here.“

You watched as Inej shooked her head.

“Stay, Inej. Stay. Please.”

Her name sounded as a prayer in Kaz’s lips.

”I can’t, Kaz, and you know why.“ She whispered.

“We need you, Inej, please. We- I... I need you.“

Without noticing, Kaz caught Inej’s arm with his gloved hand, preventing her from leaving.

You couldn’t see them clearly; the door was blocking your path. You tried to lean on a bit further but failed miserably. Why did you push your luck? Your whole body had been trembling the whole time, even with the multiple tries to steady your heartbeat and calm yourself. The door opened slightly, and your face was greeted by the floor.

All you felt was numbness, shock and realization. Kaz and Inej were staring at you in wonder. You could already feel Kaz’s grave gaze at you.

“What? Did you never see someone fall before?“ You questioned, trying to hide your discomfort.

Feeling ashamed, you stood up awkwardly and crossed Kaz’s eyes.

“Y/N.“ Kaz declared.

You nodded.

“It’s not what you think.” Inej replied immediately, trying to maintain her composure.

Kaz was leaning on his cane, and his eyes never left your form.

”Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. I won’t tell a soul. Keep going. I am leaving right now.” You gestured to the door and fled.

”Y/N, wait.“ Kaz said.

You ran through the Crow Club, not caring what the Dregs thought.

”Y/N!” Jesper screamed, hoping to catch your attention.

Why were you running?

Kaz followed after you, even if his leg hurt. He tried to, but you were too fast for him. After all, you were an assassin. A clumsy one at that...

You didn’t care. You ran until your lungs couldn’t bear the feeling, until your knees broke under the weight of your exhausted body. But where could you go in Ketterdam? A place where no Dreg could ever find you.

You knew the perfect place.

Months ago the Crows had gone on an heist with your help. The goal was simple, Kaz had said: ‘we enter, we take the painting, and we leave unnoticed’. He had insisted on the word ‘unnoticed’ looking specifically at Jesper. You had agreed to help them steal the damn painting if it pleases them. Truth be told you couldn’t say no to more Kruge. When you entered the grim manor Kaz had depicted, you noticed how silent and peaceful it was. No soul lived here. Was it the place where the painting was hidden? Maybe Kaz had made a mistake. But he had confirmed it was here. The manor was abandoned long ago by a duke trying to escape his demons. That’s all Kaz had told you, and you hadn’t asked for more at the time. Now you wished you had, because you were headed towards the old manor. A place where just the ghosts could disturb you. Ghosts were better than men, right? Better than some Bastard of the Barrel.

It could be the only place where you could scream and cry without someone noticing Ketterdam’s best assassin being vulnerable. Sometimes being the greatest assassin was a weakness, a weakness you couldn’t afford. It meant never showing too much emotion, never crying in front of your enemies... Wait. Was Kaz your enemy?

You didn’t know anymore. Falling in love was a weakness. Something not allowed in the dangerous streets of Ketterdam, a feeling that would destroy everything if not careful. In fact, love was a weapon, and if not used with parsimony and care, it could kill you.

You broke in the manor, remembering the precise path you used last time and found the closest room, the one you had discovered and found surprisingly pleasing. And strangely peaceful.

You closed the door, and sat on the floor, your body curled up, hands around your knees. You tried to forget the memories with the Crows and Kaz, but it was too much. You remembered your times with Jesper talking about guns, the hours eating waffles and ice cream with Nina, the walks with Wylan, the looks of approval coming from Matthias, and this cane... The cane you would never forget, even if you wanted to. You remembered the day when you had ended up wounded after eliminating a slaver. You were injured, sitting on the cold pavement. You were trying to catch your breath before escaping, but you had felt a soft but firm tap on your thigh. And without looking, you knew who it belonged to.

It was the Bastard of the Barrel.

He wanted you to think he was invisible, and unpredictable, but what he didn’t know was that long before killing the man, you knew Dirtyhands had followed you.

“Enjoyed the show, didn’t you?” You had questioned, showing your white teeth that must have been covered in blood.

That was the day when he had asked you to join the Crows, and since you had nothing more to do, you had accepted, already thinking about the free drinks you would benefit at the Crow Club.

You also remembered the day when you had wanted to leave the Crows because of some decision Kaz had made. You were angry and had prepared everything to leave in the morning. However, Kaz had watched you wrapping your clothes with a spectacular meticulousness, and had whispered:

“Stay. Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me, Y/N.”

And you had stayed. Of course. When Dirtyhands asked you to stay, you stay. The morning he had woken up at dawn in case you wanted to leave without saying goodbye. He had found you in your usual attire, your knives and guns on your waist.

“You did not leave?”

He had asked, almost as a prayer.

”No. Something keeps me in Ketterdam.”

Kaz had said nothing, but you swore you had seen a grin on his lips this day.

You also remembered the day when you had been badly injured to save Nina from a fatal injury. You had been severely hurt; you weren’t even able to stand up. You remember watching the pitiful looks of the Crows at your broken body sprawled on the ground. Deep down you knew you were now a liability for the Crows, and especially for Kaz, so you had told them to leave you here, and escape before the men you had stolen from were back. You knew the risks and costs of each heist, and already accepted your fate.

Kaz had none of it. He had ordered Matthias to carry you, while Nina would tend to your wound as much as she could and control your heartbeat. Jesper would protect your backs, while Inej was sent to scan the path, and look for any danger. You would never forget the look Kaz had given you when he told you to rest for months if needed and had given you a room close to his own in the Crow Club.

Later, you had asked him why he had saved you instead of leaving you to perish. He had said with conviction:

”We are Crows, Y/N, we never leave our own behind.”

That was all of his qualities and flaws that made you love Kaz Brekker. He was broken, but you had always been a sucker for broken things to tend to. You had offered him everything an assassin could possess: your loyalty, your weapons, your ability to kill, and your heart, ready for the taking...

But now you remembered the sentence Dirtyhands had told you a week ago, telling you all you had to know about what you were to him, and what you could be.

”You’re my greatest investment, Y/N. Don’t fail me. “

He had told you once what you were to him, but you hadn’t listened, you had fallen in love, and now you knew. You knew you had always been an expensive investment, but only that, nothing more.

You had been his greatest investment, and that was all...

———-

Tell me what you thought about this one! I am seriously considering writing a part 2! Likes, shares and comments are appreciated, it makes my day, I really need it!

———

If you liked this fanfiction, you’ll love this one, it also has the word ‘investment’ in the title like this one:

⬇️ ⬇️

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz x you #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #dirtyhands #kaz brekker x you #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz brekker fanart #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker x inej ghafa #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz rietveld #kaz x inej #kaz brekker art #inej ghafa #inej ghana #soc inej #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fandom #six of crows jesper #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #jesper x wylan #jesper and inej #inej gafha #inej fanart #six of crows fanfiction

[munsonxmayhem]

I just read your post asking about writing for kaz brekker and YES YES YES

How about a kaz brekker x fem!reader who is a crow and is really sunshine AND badass (like awesome thief but also super friendly, funny and kind with everyone). They can be in a relationship or just pining, and Kaz is like trying to share more with her and trying to get over his touch aversion with her but it's not easy, so she's very patient and supporting with him, because he is only thinking about how weak he is that he "can't even hold hands with his loved one" and that stuff.

Maybe fluff/ flangst? (whatever works for you! I just want some kazzle dazzle content✨)

Thank you a looot you're awesome<3

Good and Bad.

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Warnings; Heavy angst, a bit of fluff at the end. Mention of injury.

Brief message for requester: I love the way you think, and please forgive me for any mistakes in the writing, and let me know what you think (its been ages since i have written anything)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I walk into the room, seeing Inej and Jesper sat around a table, I cheerily smile at them. “And how is everyone this wonderful evening?” My cheery demeanor usually putting everyone in a better mood. My smile drops as they glance, almost sadly, at each other and then back at me. I raise an inquisitive brow at them, before noticing the lack of a certain presence. “Where’s Kaz?”

Jesper lets out a deep sigh, shaking his head as he looks at the stairs that lead to Kaz’s room. He leans in, his voice low, “Locked away in his room, hasn’t been a good day for him, I’m afraid.” A tinge of sadness runs through my heart.

I’d been working with Kaz for a good while, not just with him on jobs but on his touch aversion. I’m patient with him, letting him move at his own pace to never push him farther than he’s willing. He has his good days and his bad days. Inej informed me that as they were walking down the street, somebody had fallen into him; triggering his PTSD. This was a bad day.

I nod understandingly before making my way to the stairs, Jesper turns briskly. “Don’t, (Y/N).. It’s really not a good time.” I shake my head at his words, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Then I start my way up the stairs, knocking softly on the wooden door. “Kaz?” My voice is barely above a whisper, gentle and soothing. I hear no movement. “Kaz? C’mon, it’s me.. Open the door.” I repeat a little louder, keeping my soft tone. I hear some rustling behind the door, then multiple locks being undone. I take a deep sigh as I wait for the door to open.

The door opens just a crack, his eye peering through the crack. “What do you want?” His voice is stern, but not rude. I give him a soft, reassuring smile; “Bad day, hm?” He nods in response, staying silent. “You going to let me in?” I ask softly, fiddling with my hands.

He says nothing, just opens the door slowly, backing away and letting me inside. He takes a few steps away from me, distancing himself considerable. It must have been really bad today. I give him a sympathetic smile, making sure to keep my distance. I take a seat in the chair across the room. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He shrugs, taking a seat on the bed across from me glancing down almost shamefully at his ungloved hands. I take mental note of this, bringing my gaze to his as he starts to speak.

“I thought it was working..” He mumbles quietly, and my heart aches for him. “Kaz.. This isn’t an easy thing to overcome, you are doing better, but there are going to be good and bad days.. What matters is that you persevere, you have people here that support you. Good and bad.”

He nods slowly, “I know.. But it is hard, so hard. It’s as though I’m putting in all this effort, for even a little bit of hope just to have it all swept away by some.. accidental run in at the wrong time.” He shakes his head, almost angrily. “One brush of an arm from a stranger on the street and I’m back.. there.” He refers to his past, the anger suddenly building in his body as he throws his cane forcefully into the shelves on the side wall. I gasp, flinching a bit. He rarely lashes out in anger like this, but it never gets easier when he does. He stands abruptly, and begins pacing, causing me to stand as well. “K-Kaz..” I stammer, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. Suddenly I hear a knock at the door, causing Kaz to snap his gaze towards it. I hold my hand up to Kaz as I make my way to the door, opening it slightly, hiding the mess Kaz had made.

Jesper is standing there, a very worried look on his face; “Is everything okay?”

I nod, before mouthing the words. “Just a bad day, remember?” He gives a sympathetic look before descending down the stairs again. I shut and lock the door behind me as I return my attention to Kaz. He looks down at the mess and then back up at me, his eyes sad as if his heart just shattered into a million pieces. “I’m sorry..” He whispers, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing his head in his hands. I shake my head, “It’s okay, Kaz..” He shakes his head, “It isn’t.” I glance down at the shattered glass on the floor before kneeling beside it and beginning to pick up the pieces. “No.. Stop, you don’t have to clean that-“ Before he even gets to finish the sentence I hiss In pain, a sharp piece of glass cutting my finger. He stands suddenly, lunging worriedly to my aid, but before his hands can grab yours, he freezes. His eyes dart to mine in panic and a tear rolls down his cheek, “I-I can’t, I’m sorry..” His voice is a broken whisper, and I can feel the pain radiating from him. I nod understandingly, giving him a reassuring smile as I stand and grab a towel. I wrap my finger as I glance over at him, he’s still on the floor beside where I was, completely defeated.

“Why are you fighting so hard for this, Kaz?” I ask him, not rudely, just to get him to remember why we started working on it in the first place. He lets out a shaky breath, standing to his feet.

“I want to be better..” He whispers, still looking at the floor. “You are the sweetest, most kind woman I know.. You’re hurt and I can’t even hold your hand. You deserve to be held, (Y/N)..” He sounds so sad as the words leave his mouth.

I step towards him, this time he doesn’t back away, only a brief moment of panic. “You want to hold me?” I whisper softly, realizing wasn’t fighting for him, he was fighting for me. He finally brings his gaze to mine, my sweet, caring features immediately calming him again. “Yes..” Is all he can manage as he steps closer to me. “One step at a time, Kaz.. Don’t push yourself, okay?” He nods in response, a soft smile on his face as he brings a hand up to my cheek, I stay completely still and let him move as he wishes, the backs of his knuckles brushing lightly across the soft skin. Baby steps.

“Just.. be patient with me, okay?” He whispers.

“Always...” I return, a look of adoration on my face as his hand gently lays against my cheek.

“You’re why I’m still fighting, (Y/N)..”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker fanfic #shadow and bone

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 5)

au masterlist

notes: do i like this? idk. but it’s out.

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, dawson1417, and 221,691 others

y/ndevils00 ALL HAIL SATAN! i mean— THE DEVILS!!

YOUR NEW JERSEY DEVILS ARE NOW 6-0 IN THE PRESEASON! STILL THE FINAL UNDEFEATED TEAM IN THE PRESEASON!

tonight we played a home game against the dirty dish rags, and WON 5-2!!

the normal roster played tonight, which means prudential center was finally not just a whore house, but a whore HOME 🫶

we kicked off with a power play goal from my sweet blonde swede, Jesper Bratt! with an assist from my personal devil, Jacky!

literally THIRTY-TWO SECONDS later, MY SMUSH GOT HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE PRESEASON! I COULDN’T BE PROUDER OF YOU, MY MUNCHKIN! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!

in second period, we got a power play goal from best friend number 1!!! you are a star in every way! shine your light, puppy!!

we also got a power play goal from the light of my life, the love of my heart, my uber hot and a lot less smart, boyfriend; JACK ‘BABYGIRL’ ROWDEN HUGHES!!! SO PROUD OF YOU, YOU SEXY DEVIL, YOU!

and to finish us off, in third period, we got a goal from the one, the only, CAPTAIN SWISS SLUT!! look at you go! sticking your tongue out, one game at a time!

p.s. can you guess who was able to talk her way into being allowed to bring her professional camera and take pics through the camera holes in the glass?

i’ll give you a hint! she’s super hot, super smart, loves nicknames, and has a degree in ‘annoying her boyfriend’!

tagged jesperbratt, lhughes_06, dawson1417, jackhughes, nicohischier

Load more comments

john.marino97 i’m not featured?

y/ndevils00 do better

john.marino97 but i played good?

y/ndevils00 do. better.

john.marino97 @/dawson1417 translate?

dawson1417 she has my child hostage. i cannot translate.

john.marino97 @/dawson1417 your child?

dawson1417 …i’ve said too much

user74 omg PROFESSIONAL GRADE PHOTOS

jackhughes you are an odd duck, my love

y/ndevils00 why are you talking about trevor on MY post?

jackhughes why would you think i’m calling Z “my love”?

y/ndevils00 idk what y’all are into 🤷‍♀️

lhughes_06 thank you squish! but “munchkin”? you know i’m taller than you, right?

y/ndevils00 only physically

lhughes_06 i think that’s the only way that counts…

y/ndevils00 mentally? i could squash you. but i would never, because you’re my smush and ily

lhughes_06 mhm, i appreciate that

user62 where can i get a captain swiss slut? asking for a friend…

y/ndevils00 mine came from Bern! check there!

dawson1417 i’m a star 😊⭐️

y/ndevils00 YOU’RE A STAR!! AND YOU SHINE THE BRIGHTEST!!

dawson1417 and no do better?

y/ndevils00 no do better!! you did great!

john.marino97 i hate you both

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 you love us so much you could die

john.marino97 shut up 😒

jesperbratt i look good! 😄

y/ndevils00 you look like the sweet angel that you are!

nicohischier why do you always get me with my tongue out?

y/ndevils00 i have a sixth sense

nicohischier i thought your sixth sense was finding Jack when he’s on the ipad?

y/ndevils00 i have a seventh sense

nicohischier yeah, okay

user29 THE GOALIE TAPS

dougieham y/n, how do you feel that Jack wore a mouthguard tonight? 🎤

y/ndevils00 I FEEL GREAT! THE SUN IS SHINING, THE BIRDS ARE SINGING, THE FLOWERS ARE BLOOMING 🗣️

jackhughes you said you’d love me even without teeth 🤨

y/ndevils00 i don’t wanna test that theory

trevorzegras hot damn! my man is on fire! GO HUGHESY!

y/ndevils00 i’m gonna fly to anaheim and soak your pillow in vinegar

trevorzegras YOUR man is on fire!

y/ndevils00 that’s what i thought

#media management au! #media management series <3 #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes fic #nj devils #nhl fic #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s writings <3 #faithlynn’s insta edits <3

[targaryenluvs]

Kaz x Jesper x reader that doesn’t like being touched for long periods of time

Baby Steps

kaz x fem!reader x jesper

warnings: touch aversion, comfort?

a/n: i didn’t really know how to put this into a story so i decided to do headcannons, im sorry if this isn’t what you had in mind!

- There would be so much understanding from both of them in my opinion.

- Since Kaz himself has a strong aversion to touch he wouldn’t even be approaching you with touch anyway.

- Kaz would 100% be dumbfounded.

- He’d never encountered someone who shared his condition and he’d silently appreciate the fact that you’d never expect him to work on his aversion in order to be with you. That you’d never pressure him into anything or expect a lot in terms of physical intimacy.

- But you both shared the frustrations.

- When the other person is looking absolutely gorgeous beyond words and all you want to do is hug them, to play with their hair, kiss them etc. Having a hollow feeling inside when Jesper would be so overly affectionate when around everyone else but feel like he had to change how he acted when it came to the two of you.

- You never wanted him to change. Neither did Kaz. As much as he acts as if Jespers over the top self annoyed him, he more so envied him. Jesper never has to worry, he doesn’t need stupid gloves every day to keep him calm. He can drink and eat anything without feeling like the world is crushing down on him.

- He doesn’t look in the mirror and loathe.

- But what he hates most of all is that he can touch you. And Kaz can’t.

- You hadn’t had a traumatic background that had scarred you to the point of aversion and panic attacks.

- At times touch just became too much. Your senses would feel as if they were on fire. Like anything touching you felt as if bugs were crawling all over you. You could handle smaller things in smaller batches.

- It was nowhere near as intense as Kaz but it happened usually during the day. You’d be holding hands with Jesper and you’d suddenly drop his hand and walk with distance between the two of you.

- During the start of your relationship you hadn’t told either of them.

- So imagine Jespers surprise when you swatted his hand away whilst the three of you were in Kaz’s office.

-

“What was that for!” Jesper yelled as he cradled his hand. You frowned, “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” Jesper tilted his head, “Is this for eating your chicken last night? I am sorry you know, but it smelt, amazing.” He dragged out.

“No that’s- you ate my food? I blamed Matthias! Poor guy was as red as the blood on Kaz’s cane.”

Kaz glimpsed down at his cane, he cleaned it everyday, not a speck of blood, poor analogy.

“It’s just, sometimes when I’m being touched, I have to pull away. I don’t know how to explain it but I just, sometimes it’s too much and I can’t handle it. I’m sorry if that disappoints you-”

“Don’t apologise for it. I don’t.”

You smiled gratefully at Kaz as he made eye contact with you. Jesper rested his hand by yours on the desk, “You don’t have to force anything. If you feel like pulling away, pull away. Thank you for telling us, I promise you don’t have to. Not like Kaz makes any effort to touch me, it’s been a long time.”

“Say one more word and I’ll tell her about Milo.”

Jesper gasped as he brought his hand to his heart, “I’m proud of Milo. Whatever makes you think I wouldn’t tell anyone about my baby?”

“Who’s Milo?”

“Milo is Jes’s-”

Jesper shot up from his seat and pointed accusingly at Kaz.

“Don’t you dare!”

-

As frustrating it was for Jesper to have not one, but two partners with aversions he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

He loved you both and you’d work on your barriers together,

Baby Steps.

#kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fluff #kaz and jesper #jesper x reader #jesper fahey x reader #shadow and bone x reader

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Into the fire- Chapter one (Kaz x fem!reader)

"I win again."

"Son of a bitch."

"I want another go around."

"Jesper, if you go again, you'll be leaving in your birthday suit, and that is an image we can all live without."

You laughed at Inej who was seated at the table in the Crow Club you all frequently visited. Inej didn't seem fond of the idea of you joining at first. Then, after a week she seemed pretty alright with the idea. You were clean, you were kind, if she asked you to do something, you'd do it. You now even shared a room. Both of you were insomniacs with your own shitshows of trauma. After a late night of warm milk and a discussion, the friendship formed.

Jesper though, seemed friendly from the start. He had a project in mind. The "out" list, he called it. What were things that you wanted to do that you couldn't do because of your prison time or home situation? He wanted you to write it down and he'd try to help make it happen. You had this strange security of this group. They helped mend the pieces Hellgate broke and made them new.

You sat cross legged in a chair beside him watching the rain. Jesper looked at you with a grin. "Aye. That bit, line three." He said. You looked over.

"What?"

"Dance in the rain." He said.

"Oh that's ridiculous." Inej laughed.

"Still. Haven't you ever felt like... free enough to do it. Like just....dance?" You asked. She shook her head and you perked up, along with Jesper. "What?" Inej asked. Jesper got up, taking your hand.

"Come onnn!" You said to her. She shook her head.

"I'll have fun without my cold, thank you." She said.

"Party pooper" Jesper said, running outside with you.

Kaz stepped out of his office, papers in hand as he prepared to walk outside. He looked up though when he heard muffled laughing. Inej shook her head with a smile as her and Kaz watched you play in the rain with Jesper. "What is she doing?" Kaz asked.

"She's enjoying her time being free." Inej said, watching you. Jesper picked you up in a hug, spinning you around as you laughed.

Kaz couldn't explain it. That smile, that radiant laugh. He had only known you two weeks and he seemed to enjoy the fact that you seemingly fit right into the Dregs. Hell, even stone cold Xander at the bar enjoyed your presence. You had this way of making people naturally fall in love with you, whether it be platonic or romantic.

You took Jesper's hat, giggling as he pretended to fall at your feet. The rain was your favorite, even in the Hellgate. It helped tell you a passage of time, it also masked that smell of death the nearby island caused. Now that you were out, you loved the rain even more. That feeling of it on your skin, the freedom to walk in it, actually walk without being on a chained leash. You weren't held by those chains anymore.

Kaz cleared his throat, Inej biting back an urge to smile. She knew Kaz, as much as he didn't want to admit it, was definitely falling for you, just like everyone else. If anything it was worse because it definitely wasn't platonic and it didn't just end with a sexual desire. If he had you, he wanted all of you. Not just your body but your heart and soul. He wanted to know you beyond what he had seen already, and Inej knew that.

"You could join them, you know." Inej said.

"And catch a cold?" He asked sarcastically.

"I don't believe that's stopping them." She said.

"What are they even doing out there?" Kaz asked. "Well, they're dancing." She said.

"Yes, I see that they're dancing Inej, why are they dancing?" He asked.

"Jesper and her have some sort of list and they're checking off one of the things on the list." She said.

"What, like a shopping list?" Kaz asked.

"No like a bucket list." Inej corrected.

"A what?"

"Saints Kaz- a bucket list. A list of things you want to do before you die." He looked at her confused.

"Is she dying?"

"No, she just has a list of things she wants to do now that she's free. I said it was like a bucket list, not actually a bucket list." Inej said with a sigh.

Inej reached over into your bag, handing him a folded piece of paper. He read it. You had at least eighty things on that list. They were things Kaz didn't even think anyone would actually desire. "See the stars in the country, lay in a field of flowers. These are all so... trivial." He said.

"Yeah but as someone who didn't have that freedom to make it trivial, it means the world to her." Inej said. Kaz looked at the list again and rose a brow.

"She doesn't know how to swim." He said.

"Hmm?" She asked. He showed her a bullet point.

"Learn to swim." Inej shrugged. Kaz noticed one bullet point that caught his eye. "Kiss someone I love" was written below learning to swim.

"Y'know, if you want to get to know her better, you could actually talk to her." Inej said. Kaz frowned.

"I don't want to get to know her." He said.

"Right, so you're just contently watching her and Jesper because you're not intrigued by her personality." She said, looking at him. He opened his mouth but closed it, looking at her with a glare. "I'm just saying, if you want to know her, you can spend time with her." Inej said. Kaz rolled his eyes.

"We have a job we need to discuss." He said. Inej sighed, grabbing her coat. The two walked out and Kaz looked at you and Jesper.

"You're going to catch a cold " Kaz said.

"Oh but a fun one, isn't that right Y/n?" Jesper asked. You let out a laugh, one that nearly made him weak in the knees.

"We have a job in the morning. Y/n, be in the Slat office." He said.

"Just me?" You asked. Inej looked over at him, biting back a smirk.

"Just you." He nodded.

You gave a small salute with a grin. "You got it" You said before Jesper scooped you up. You giggled and Kaz cleared his throat to bite back that smile that was forming.

"Have fun with your pneumonia." He said sarcastically.

"We will" Jesper laughed.

The next morning you made for his office, standing at his desk. "I'm surprised you don't have a cold." Kaz said, not looking up from papers.

"Jesper does. I'm used to the cold and damp weather." You shrugged. He nodded. "So, am I going alone?" You asked.

"No." He said. "Oh. I figured it was just me here-"

"I'm going with you." He said. You rose a brow.

"What?" You asked.

"Jesper has seen how you work, Inej has seen how you work, yet I haven't seen it." He said. You shrugged.

"Alright, where are we going?" You asked.

"Financial district." He said. You nodded.

"Alright, lead the way." You said. He got up, walking out with you. The rain from yesterday had stopped, the sun barely peaking out from behind the clouds. You seemed to take note of the rain drops that were still dripping off of awnings. You had a smile on your face, looking at the crows that sat on the edges of the buildings.

"Inej tells me you have a list." He said.

"The whole thing was Jesper's idea." You said.

"It sounds like something he'd come up with." He said. You nodded.

"I love the list though. It makes me live life to the fullest." You said, Kaz looking at you with a brow raised.

"What things are on the list, exactly?" He asked, as if he didn't read the damn thing in full.

"Eh. Simple stuff. Dance in the rain, lay in a field of flowers. Cheesy stuff like that." You shrugged.

"Mm. Sounds... time consuming." He said.

"Well yeah but it's worth it." You said.

"If you say so." He said, walking.

"So what is this job exactly?" You asked.

"Do you know who an Alvia Warner is?" He asked. You shook your head.

"Very wealthy." He said. You nodded, smelling the faint scent of coffee.

"Y'know... it occurs to me that I work for you but I don't know anything about you." You said. He looked over.

"You can ask me things, I might not answer." He said simply.

"Do you like coffee?" You asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Do you read?" You asked.

"On occasion."

"Hobbies?" You asked.

"None."

"Surely you've got at least one."

"I make my enemies terrified to sleep at night." He answered.

"Alright then." You said.

"If we're being open, what about you?" He asked.

"What about me?" You asked.

"Where are you from?" He asked. You showed a visible discomfort.

"Djerholm" you answered. Kaz stopped and you turned.

"You are nobility?" He asked, staring at you with a slight sense of betrayal.

"No. My family is nobility, I am disowned. I'm just me." You said.

"Why were you disowned?" Kaz asked.

"I didn't wish to wed a man." You said walking again. Kaz followed you.

"I was forced into an arranged marriage where I would've been the subject of a very cruel hearted man. I would've been forced to bare his children, I would've been beaten regularly by him, I would've most likely died by his hand. So I had a choice. Stay there and die, or leave and fight." You said. Kaz found that to be a respectable answer.

"What makes you so sure that you would've died?" Kaz asked.

"Because a girl married him six months after I left. She was found dead with a letter opener in her throat." You said.

Kaz was shocked by this answer.

"Do Inej and Jesper know?" He asked.

"Of course they do. We live in the same complex and I share a room with Inej. Plus, my mannerisms don't exactly scream Ketterdam." You said. So Kaz was the only one unaware of your background. Maybe Inej was right, maybe he did need to actually be around you more.

"Why the sudden curiosity about me?" You asked.

"I gave you food, a bed, a job and yet I have no idea who you are. You should know, I do not like not knowing things that are crucial, so if you have anything else in your bag like another bloodthirsty sister, I'd appreciate it if you told me." He said.

"I have only one other sister and she wouldn't hurt a fly. Eloise is married, with two children. She married a good man. She used to write to me before... Hellgate." You explained.

"Mm. So I must ask. What made Pekka notice you?" Kaz asked. You sighed.

"You pick enough locks, people notice. You charm enough people, their tongues will wag your name eventually in conversation. I wasn't exactly offered a position, my sister found me because of my name being brought up. So she decided to fight dirty. She offered me up to Pekka. She tried to sell me to him." You said. Kaz felt disgusted by this statement. "When I managed to escape him multiple times, they got crafty. Cornered me, framed me and then put me in prison." You said.

"In Pekka's prison." Kaz muttered.

"Exactly. It gave him that control he wanted." You said.

"May I ask a question?" You asked. There it was. Now that it was pointed out, Kaz noticed your polite demeanor.

"Fine."

"How did you manage to break me out without someone looking for me afterwards?" You asked.

"Simple. We found a corspe that looked like you and put it on the rocks." Kaz said.

"But you hadn't met me yet, how did you know-"

"Dahlia showed us a picture." Kaz said.

"Mm." Was all you said.

Kaz noticed that face you made when Dahlia was mentioned. Regret and sadness. "Was Dahlia always like that?" He asked.

"No. Father's cruelty made her that way." You answered.

"Abusive?" Kaz asked.

"He wanted sons. He got three daughters." You said. Kaz grimaced.

"I've never understood the patriarchal bullshit the rich have come up with. Two of my finest crows are women for fuck's sake." Kaz sighed. You laughed, looking at him. He was confused by your reaction.

"Sorry-sorry. For someone who typically keeps his nose out of politics, I find it hilarious that you have such a strong opinion on that." You said. He shrugged.

"I just find it stupid." He said.

"It is stupid." You agreed with a small chuckle

"then we're in agreement, that it's stupid." He said.

When you finally got to the financial district, the afternoon had almost drifted into the evening. You followed Kaz through a small area, leading to a stone wall. He looked at it, clutching his cane. "Warner isn't home, she's at some harbor. Either way, you need to jump the fence and unlock it from the back so I can get in." He said. You nodded. "Now I can try to give you a boost-"

"no need." You said, already backing away from the wall.

You charged full speed at the wall, gaining a good footing before jumping over. You landed next to a sundial, seeing the various gardening tools poking out of a small wood shed nearby. The garden itself was beautiful and had you had the time and were by yourself, you absolutely would've explored more. However, you walked to the back entrance, unlocking it and motioning for Kaz to enter.

He walked with you as you shut the gate, motioning for him to lead the way. He approached a door and you kneeled to the lock. "Does she have any security measures?" You asked.

"None that the casers found." He answered, you nodding as you picked the lock. There was a soft click in a matter of seconds that surprised Kaz. He didn't think that he could even do it that fast.

You walked in, looking around at the home. It was nice, there was no doubt about it. White walls bordered with brown panelings aligned the wall, the sun creeping through the window. You walked. "So we're looking for what exactly?" You asked.

"Documents." He said, walking. You opened a door, revealing a bathroom. You closed it, walking to the foyet. It was a nice home, reminded you almost of the one you grew up in. However your father seemed to take to the color black than the warm red that this home had. This house felt like a home. That place would never be home to you.

You noticed a door, opening it. Or at least tried to open it. It was locked, and you had been doing this long enough to know that locked doors inside a locked house meant something was in that room. Something of value.

You knelt to the lock, picking it. You kept your hand on a dagger just in case something had gone unchecked. It was an empty office, much to your relief. "Kaz" you called. He walked over, nodding.

"This would be where they are." He said walking in. You followed behind, looking at the various shelves.

You saw many classics on the wall, some of which were in different languages. You were rather impressed with the collection. Kaz however, had a frown on his face as he rummaged through the drawers.

"Where the hell is this woman keeping it?" He asked.

"Keeping what?" You asked.

"There is money mixed with the documents. There's nothing here." He said.

"Money mixed with it? What are we looking for? Mortage payments? Taxes?"

"A dowry." He said.

You stared at him. "Kaz, why the hell are we looking for a dowry?" You asked.

"Because, multiple reasons. One, money." He said, still shuffling through the papers.

"And?"

"Two, sabotage." He said. You rose a brow. "Where would you hide a dowry?" He asked. You walked over to the desk, sitting at the chair. "Seriously? Do you need a break right now-"

You noticed a botton under the desk, pressing it and opening a secret compartment. He looked at you. "Sometimes you have to see it from their perspective." You shrugged getting up. Kaz opened the compartment, occasionally looking over his shoulder at you with slight bewilderment.

"Alright. It's here." He said.

"Why sabotage the marriage?" You asked.

"Tax reasons. This marriage goes through, she becomes a high ranked chair. Taxes go up, then it becomes harder to live." He said.

"Didn't take you as a tax evader." You said.

"I'm a criminal of many sorts." He said. You looked and noticed a letter.

You picked it up, reading it. Kaz counted the money to make sure she wasn't too clever, hiding it in several places. Instead it appeared she just stopped at a secret button, much to his relief. You had a frown on your face. "Let's go-"

"Kaz. This marriage is the least of our worries." You said. He looked up. You handed him the letter.

"...Shit."

"I know." You said.

It appears the clever little Alvia was prepared to execute her plan no matter if she married into the vote. Her plan was that if she didn't marry her, she'd have a friend go through with it instead, convincing this Killian fellow to vote for her spot.

You sighed. "What do we do?" You asked.

"It seems that it's a backed up plan. Taking this will do nothing." He said.

"Well it gives you money." You said.

"I can't believe this. How did we not know this?" He asked.

"She might know someone is on this path." You said.

He sighed, running a hand down his face. You had an idea come to mind. "We could sabotage the match." You said.

"Kill one of them?" He asked.

"No. Because if we kill him, that leaves the open seat." You said.

"So kill Alvia." He said.

"That leaves him to find someone else like her to be put in position." You said. Kaz sighed.

"And people wonder why I don't give two shits about politics. Kill them both!" He said.

"Leaves the seat open still and then we're back to square one unless you want a go at the seat." You said.

"I think I'd rather die." He said.

"Exactly. We throw a wrench in the plan." You said.

"How?" He asked.

"We give him another option." You said.

"...I'm still not understanding this." He said.

"You put a different girl in front of him. Look, I know these people, they're easily distracted by pretty shit, especially men. So put a pretty girl like say, me, in front of him and he's too distracted to get married to her. Once the vote of chairs goes through, he hasn't put the money on anyone noteworthy." You said. Kaz stared at you in awe.

"You just came up with this?" He asked.

"Again. Grew up in this. I know how to play the game." You said.

"No kidding." He said. You sighed.

"We need to leave before this woman comes back." You said.

"Agreed. Let's go." He said.

You both headed back, the sun slowly setting as you two walked. Kaz recalled a point on your list. "Hey, follow me for a moment." He said.

"Shortcut?" You asked.

"Something like that." He said. You followed him to a ladder, him tossing his cane up before going up. You were confused but followed him up.

You walked for a little bit before Kaz sat down. "Sit." He said. You obeyed, sitting next to him. The entire time you had been looking at Kaz, trying to figure out what he was doing. You chose to follow his gaze this time, looking at a beautiful sunset.

"Woah" you said surprised.

"I might have taken a look at the list." He admitted. You looked over at him.

"I thought it was time consuming?" You said confused.

"It is. But sometimes it's alright to take a moment to use that time." He said. You smiled slightly, turning back to the view.

"I owe you a lot you know." You said. He looked over.

"Quite a few people do." He said.

"I owe you my life." You said, not taking your eyes off the view.

"I wouldn't go that far-"

"You broke me out of Hellgate. Then when the job went wrong you took me in. You saved my life." You said looking at him.

"Why bring this up?" He asked.

"Because I want you to know that even though we don't know everything about each other, I still will trust you." You said. You sighed. "I don't expect you to trust me. I've heard your faith in others runs very thin. But if you ever need me, you need only to call on me." You said.

Kaz had heard someone pledge their undying loyalty to him before. People tend to be grateful when you give them food when their near the verge of starvation. However, this was the first time he believed in that loyalty. He didn't know how to respond to that. "You're right." He said, looking forward. "I don't trust easily." He said getting up.

Kaz, the entire walk back hadn't said anything else. You didn't know if you upset him or what but it was clear Kaz was in his head. Truth be told he realized what he had wasn't a damn crush at all. This wasn't going to just go away with time like the bit with Inej. He had fallen in love with you and that made him upset.

"Love is vulnerability" he told himself. "Love is a weakness." He hated that feeling. He wanted to yell at you, tell you off and say that you were an annoyance. But everytime he looked at you all he could think was that he could never say that to someone so pure of heart. Which was odd to him because he literally watched you beat a man to death with his cane. However that didn't seem to affect that purity in his mind.

You both entered the crow club, Kaz sighing and sitting at the bar. "Job go well?" Inej asked sitting next to him. You sat with Jesper at a table, slinging your legs over his. "It went... fine." He said. "You got that dowry you wanted, right?" She asked.

"Yes but it seems Alvia has a bigger plan." He said.

"What?"

Kaz explained the situation to Inej, her sighing. "Of fucking course the one job we take with a politician gets messy." She sighed.

"Precisely why I tried to tell Per Haskell to not fucking do it." He sighed.

"It was his idea?" Inej asked.

"Yes! Which I understand why, but I know he's going to go with Y/n's plan which will take up a ton of time!" He said frustrated. She blinked.

"Y/n has a plan?" Inej asked.

So you all sat at a table as you broke down the idea you had in the study. Kaz seemed to agree that the plan would definitely work, the only issue was that something seemed to irk him about it and Jesper could not figure out why. "Well there's just one issue with the plan." Inej said, sitting back.

"Yes?" You asked.

"Say we do it. It works, she's not in the chair, all is well in Ketterdam. What about Killian?" She asked.

"What about Killian?" Kaz asked, looking at her.

"We can't just have her be a distraction and then disappear, it'll be obvious what happened and people will come looking." Inej said.

"Shit." Kaz sighed.

"Well I thought about that actually." You said.

"Look at our girl being all smart over here." Jesper teased. You rolled your eyes but continued.

"A love triangle."

Inej rose a brow.

"What?" Kaz and Jesper asked.

"A love triangle. It's a good way to cut it off. Just have one of the guys do a fake proposal." You shrugged.

"Well we can't just send one in to randomly propose." Inej said. What was Inej doing?

"You'll have to just keep close to one of the guys at social engagements so it appears you're at least familiar with them." Inej said.

Kaz then realized what Inej was doing.

"Hm. That should do the trick to have it not lead back to us." Jesper agreed.

"I know, I'm a genius." You said, satisfied with the plan.

"Well boys, who should do it?" Inej asked, looking directly at Kaz.

"Jesper has the most chemistry with her." Kaz said. You and Jesper both cringed.

"Uhm... Jesper isn't-"

"We're definitely not-"

"No offense but... ew." You said.

"Offense slightly taken! I'm ew!?" Jesper asked. "No not visually! I just mean that it'd be like trying to romance my brother it's..." both you and Jesper shuddered.

"Yeah no, Kaz you're going to have to step up." Jesper agreed. Inej seemed satisfied with her input, a smug smirk on her lips.

"Fine." Kaz sighed.

"Then it's settled." You nodded.

"Yep." Kaz sighed.

"Well then, how about a round?" You asked.

"I can go for one." Jesper said.

"I feel in the spirit to drink as well." Inej said.

"Care to join us boss?" You asked Kaz. He sighed, looking at Inej and then you. He was going to have to spend a lot of time with you regardless. He was apparently now supposed to fake being in love with you. He had to get close to you and he had learned through Inej and Jesper that a good way to form a bond, was through drinking with them after a mission.

"I'll stay for one drink."

#kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #grishaverse #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n

[midnight-rain-fics]

Delicate

{Mirrorball Part 2}

{Fandom: Grishaverse}

{Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! reader x Jesper Fahey}

Summary: After accidentally confessing her feelings for her best friend and her boss, Y/N chooses to get drunk rather than facing the consequences of her actions.

A/N: I wrote this instead of going to sleep, curtesy of ❣️anon because positive feedback is really the best motivation of all. Also “schat” is a nickname used in the story, it means darling or treasure in Dutch.

“Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it too soon to do this yet?

'Cause I know that it's delicate”

Jesper was never good at waiting. He never had the patience of sitting idly as the hands of the clock struck by absentmindedly.

Even now, as he sat on the sofa with Kaz and Matthias at the Slat, he couldn't help the constant tapping of his boot against the wooden floor.

Kaz released a long sigh, no doubt annoyed by Jesper, and craned his neck to look at the entrance of the Slat. His jaw ticked as there was still no sign of anyone entering.

"When did they say they will be back again?" Jesper asked Matthias, who was sitting on the lone chair opposite Kaz, a book in his hands.

"They didn't," Matthias said, without looking up from his book.

Jesper vaguely remembered Y/N gifting it to Matthias for his birthday. None of the crows had known Matthias's birthday, except Y/N.

She had organized a surprise dinner for him, baked him a cake and gotten him a gift. Matthias had been nearly brought to tears as he hugged her and thanked her profusely.

And all Y/N did was smile. That damned smile. Jesper thinks his heart might have stopped the day she first gave him that smile.

Y/N was his best friend, just as Kaz was, even if he refused to admit it. And Jesper, curse his bad luck, had fallen in love with them both.

And now there might be a chance they might love him back, considering Y/N's confession last night but he couldn't know for sure because after stealing his heart and his breath, Y/N had proceeded to run up to her room as if hounds were chasing her.

And then she had avoided both Kaz and him the next day, going as far as to go drinking with Nina, just to avoid facing the aftermath of her confession.

And now Jesper was waiting, something that he absolutely loathed, just so he could see her again. Just so he could tell her everything that he had been keeping to himself.

Jesper risked a glance at Kaz, and to his surprise, Kaz was already looking at him. Jesper’s heart thrummed erratically in his chest, matching the pace of his foot tapping on the floor.

Kaz’s cane rested against his calf, stopping his movements, the weight was a surprise but not unwelcome. It was Kaz’s way of grounding Jesper in the present.

“Calm down, she will be back soon” Kaz mumbled low enough so only Jesper could hear him.

Loud, obnoxious laughter filled the Slat as Nina and Y/N drunkenly stumbled in. Jesper, Kaz and Matthias stood up immediately as the two girls nearly knocked into a table as they made their way towards them.

Y/N’s feet were barefoot and Nina seemed to be carrying the boots that she had been previously wearing.

Y/N’s eyes widened as she caught sight of Jesper and Kaz and she rushed towards them, stopping in front of Jesper, “There’s my boys!”

Jeaper could only watch in amusement as Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, “I missed you, Jesper”

“I missed you too, love” Jesper chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist, he pulled back a little and looked down at her, brushing some hair out of her face, “Let’s get you to bed, yeah? I think you’ve had too much fun without me”

But Y/N wasn’t listening to him anymore, her eyes had connected with Kaz’s over Jesper’s shoulder and she was too busy staring at him.

“I missed you too, Kaz” Y/N said, lips pulled into a pout as she carelessly reached a hand out before abruptly pulling it back. The pout was ever present as Y/N put her head on Jesper’s shoulder, eyes still on Kaz.

Jesper didn’t have to turn around to see that Kaz had grown tense, the air had started to thicken with something that always fizzled between them when they were all together.

Jesper didn’t even notice Matthias lead a drunk Nina out of the room as he picked up Y/N and made a beeline for the stairs, stopping only to hear the clacking of Kaz’s cane behind him as he stopped outside Y/N’s door.

He waited for Kaz to open the door and gently put Y/N on the bed. He took a seat beside her, taking off her jacket and fixing her shirt before tucking a blanket around her.

Jesper could feel Kaz’s heated gaze on them as he ran a hand through Y/N’s hair, calming her down slightly. Y/N groaned, rubbing a hand down her face.

"Why did you drink so much, Y/N?" Jesper whispered, Y/N’s head leaning on his shoulder as she snuggled into his side.

Kaz stood at Y/N’s desk, pretending to overlook something to avoid looking at Jesper and Y/N. It made his skin itch to see them together, to not….to not be with them.

Kaz knew what they both wanted, who they wanted. But could he really be that person? What could he give them that they couldn’t give each other? He would just be an unwelcome addition to what they were. Never fully there.

Even if he wanted to be.

"Because you both hate me now" Y/N mumbled, her voice heartbreakingly small, she fiddled with the buttons on Jesper’s waistcoat, "And so I had to get over you"

"And did you?" Kaz didn’t mean for his voice to come out as cold as it did but the warning glare from Jesper was enough to let him know his frustrations towards his own shortcomings had seeped into his tone.

"No" Y/N mumbled, gone was the joyous phase of her drunkness, replaced by melancholy shining in her eyes. She hiccuped, meeting Kaz’s eyes, "I like you both too much, it's a problem"

"Oh, Y/N,” Jesper’s heart broke at the words, he stroked her hair and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"It's not fair, I love you but you don't love me,” Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes but she refused to let them fall. She was a crow, damnit! She wasn’t going to let her feelings ruin her friendships.

She had fought too hard to get where she was, and even if her feelings were unrequited, she would not lose her family, the crows, over it.

But was it truly so terrible? To love someone and to be loved in return?

"And who told you that, Y/N?"

Y/N tilted her head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. Kaz took a step forward and sat on the edge of her bed, one hand gripping his cane and the other stretched on the bed, centimetres from Y/N's.

"Who told you that I don't hold any affection for you" Kaz’s rasp filled the silence of the room, his words heavy with unsaid words and unspoken confessions. His gaze flittered to Jeaper who was watching them with bated breath, "Either of you"

"Do you?" Jesper asked, he was terrified to hope that Kaz would reciprocate his feeling. Their feelings. Because hope was dangerous but hope was all he had.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't" 

And truly, what more could Kaz say? Here he was, despite knowing better, despite his instincts telling him to turn around and walk away, even if it hurts, here he stood.

Exposed for them to pick at as they liked, just because he could not bare to see the hurt in Jesper’s eyes or the disappointment on Y/N’s face.

"Oh" Y/N mumbled, eyes switching between Jeaper and Kaz before a small smile graced her lips and she settled back in her pillows, still snuggled in Jesper’s side.

"Yes, oh,” Kaz rolled his eyes but the fondness was clear as day as he tapped her blanket, just above her knee, with his gloved hand, "Now go to sleep"

"Will you both stay? Just until I fall asleep"

"Of course, love"

“If I must”

“I want you to, Kaz���

“Then I will stay. Now go to sleep, Y/N”

Despite going to bed at Saints knows what time, Y/N woke up early as she usually did. She begrudgingly got out of bed, and even as her head hurt and nausea crawled up her throat, she made her way to the kitchen, a blue shawl wrapped around her shoulders for warmth.

"Good morning, love" Jesper greeted cheerfully as Y/N slumped down on the chair beside him, "How are you feeling?"

Y/N let out a yawn and mumbled something that sounded unintelligible even to her own ears. Her sleep-lidded eyes closed as Y/N placed her head on the kitchen counter, the cool stone caressing her cheek pleasantly.

"What was that?"

"Only goats can understand that, Y/N" Kaz’s voice was softer than usual in the mornings and Y/N’s own heart hummed with joy at hearing it.

Mornings with Kaz and Jesper were sacred to Y/N, even before last night. They were the only ones awake at this hour, and she had a suspicion they had all adjusted their sleep patterns to wake up early just to have these first rays of the morning sun to themselves.

This moment in time existed for them alone; when Kaz’s cold exterior was chipped away to reveal a slightly less concrete armour and Jesper’s face relaxed in an easy smile, his presence filling the room with warmth.

This moment was hers. They were hers.

"I will get back to you with an answer within 5-7 business days, Jes" Y/N lifted her head, placing it on her palm and answered the boy sitting beside her.

She turned her gaze to meet bitter coffee-brown eyes staring at her, "Oh and screw you, Kaz"

"We aren't there yet, schat" Kaz’s lips pulled up in a slight smirk as he took a sip of his black coffee, which Y/N was sure contained more than 3 spoonfuls of sugar.

Who was he trying to fool with that black coffee? She had no idea.

Jesper choked on his food and Y/N patted his back, stealing a piece of toast off his plate with her other hand. Her head throbbed with the hangover that she was currently nursing.

Y/N turned her gaze away from a wide-eyed Jesper to a smug Kaz, her eyes narrowed in mock irritation, "I hate you"

"That's not what you said last night"

"Saints Kaz!" Y/N exclaimed, her eyes wide with incredulity as she hid her blushing face in her hands, "Why are you doing this today?"

"Because you have a hangover, Y/N" Jesper chuckled, pushing a plate of toast towards her and passing her the cup of coffee that Kaz had poured, just as she liked it.

“He is being mean today”

"He’s mean every day"

"What was that, Jes?”

"Nothing"

“That’s what I thought”

#six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x y/n #jesper fahey x you #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #jesper fahey #kaz brekker x fem!reader

[unrequitedloveletter]

I think I might have fallen in love- realization fics! Fics with this prompt can be the realization of anything--a characters imminent death, the moment wherein someone realizes they've been betrayed, or they can be super fluffy and detail the moment a character realizes they're in love, the moment where they realize they can see a future with the reader--perhaps one that entails settling down or one that involves leaving the past behind--, the moment where they realize that they want to marry them! Anything goes with this prompt, and I'll write 1-5k words using it!

ooooh okay, what about kaz x reader. and it's him realizing that he can see the rest of his life with r. i feel like that'd be such a huge moment for him, cause it was one think to admit he loves them but to actually see a life with them? like doing the domestic things, ya know?

He Knows- K.B x gn! reader

First off, I am SO SORRY that this took eight days! I've been studying to get my learners permit and before then was writing out requests on my sideblog so it's just been a lot to juggle with everything else lol, but thank you for sending this and all of your other requests in! This one was very fun, I absolutely adore a good realization fic and writing for Kaz was good after I'd not written for him in a bit!

Fic type- this is super fluffy!

Warnings- one mention of his trauma (he mentions not wanting to go to his childhood home in Lij because it still hurts to think about)

On the first day of October, Kaz Brekker is approaching the Slat and thinking about the next big job, the next big thing, when another thought suddenly occurs to him.

The thought is that he should grab you some tea at the cafe that recently replaced one of the nearby brothels. He lets the thought backtrack his feet about sixty steps, lets it allow his mouth to speak the words necessary to order you your fall-time tea of preference.

As he carries it back to the Slat, he can almost hear Ninas joyous snicker, almost see confusion in Matthias' gaze and see the smiles Inej, Jesper and Wylan are wearing.

He can hear Nina saying "you didn't peg me as a tea person, Brekker," when she notices the string and the tag which reads the cafes name attached to it.

The idea makes him scoff as he enters the Slat, eyes scanning the ever-constant crowd on the bottom floor in the hopes he'll meet your gaze somewhere within the mess of it.

When he does finally see you, you're not the first person he spots. The one who catches his attention is Jesper, wearing a bright but still burnt orange suit with nice looking navy blue accents, and he follows Jespers eyeline to where he spots you in the crowd of Dregs that has gathered on the bottom floor.

Jespers eyes are on you and Kaz watches as Jesper watches you approach the table with a mug of black coffee in hand. Kaz watches as Jesper notices Inej--who sits to his left in the table for six, Nina on his right--look at you skeptically as you slide into the spot beside Wylan.

Matthias is standing, unsurprisingly, though his arms are wrapped around Ninas shoulder in a hug from behind, and her head is tilted back so that her hair is touching his cheek. The two of them, as infuriating as Kaz finds it to be for a split second, look so happy.

Kaz approaches, takes the remaining seat at the table. You grin, slide the coffee his way. He slides you the tea he'd ordered.

"I love you for this," you say, grinning slightly. "Thank you, Kaz."

Kaz grins into his coffee, shrugs it off. "It was on the way," he says, and he knows that you know that, but he also knows that you won't know he purposefully backtracked sixty steps to get it for you. He knows that he does not want you to know that, so he says nothing of it.

You laugh, and Kaz's heart jumps in the way he's become accustomed to it doing so.

You'd been dating since the year before the Ice Court. It had been three years since. You had exchanged 'I love you's for the first time two years ago.

"I'd bet money he was zoning out while he walked," Nina says, and Kaz has to grip his cane like it's a lifeline to keep himself from spitting out his coffee while he's in the middle of sipping it. "Then he remembered 'oh, I've got a partner who likes tea' and so he walked back. Bet you it was as he was putting his hand on the doorknob."

"I'd take that bet," Kaz says, partly because he know she's wrong. "But it wasn't as my hand was touching the doorknob. It was a good six-ish minutes beforehand. Ordering the tea and receiving it took four."

Nina smiles at him. "Some days, the things you do for your beloved make up for your terrible haircut," she says. "Your next drink is on me, Brekker."

Kaz shrugs--a free drink is a free drink--and glances at you for a moment.

"Sixty paces?" you ask.

"Yeah," Kaz said. "Tacked on a solid few minutes, but I know you love the tea they make at Baileys."

"You got up to grab his coffee about six off," Wylan says. "Oh, that's so sweet! Your couple brains are couple-braining. You're sensing when the other is close by."

"It was ten bloody minutes!" Kaz says, a little incredulous. You laugh at him for a minute.

"Ten minutes," you say. "Six of which you spent walking back."

Kaz looks at you and you just grin, turning to Wylan before you take a sip of your tea.

"Either way," you say after you've downed the first sip and the warmth has surpassed your throat and settled within your stomach. "You can't judge me. You looked like Jesper had given you the entire world when he came into the Slat the other day."

Wylan scowls playfully at you, and Kaz looks at you and it just--something within him stirs. Something domestic, a part of him that yearns to come home to you every night, something that wants to relish in weekends off and hum along to the music playing from a gramophone while folding the laundry.

He shuts it out, rests his cane against the side of your chair in a manner that says 'I love you' without actually saying a damn thing at all.

-

That something stirs within him once more as he finds himself in the Kerch countryside. He hasn't brought you to Lij--twelve years gone and still, the very thought of visiting his childhood home hurts just a bit too much for him to risk it--but instead to a cute farmhouse that he'd bought in anticipation of retiring seventy years on, when he was ninety and still kickin' because he was Kaz Brekker and he would live to see 100 just to spite the people he disliked.

It is the first weekend of October and it has been a year since the last. You're in the kitchen and the only reason that Kaz is awake is because he smells coffee, wafting in from the pot as the water churns and the coffee falls into it.

He smells pumpkin, too, and knows what you've been doing without even having to think of it.

You have a very specific but very delicious recipe for pumpkin pancakes that you always make during the fall, and they stand as one of the only iterations of pumpkin-flavoured food and drink that Kaz can say he enjoys.

They're pumpkin pancakes made with a fairly basic recipe plus the addition of half a cup of brewed chai. You also tend to pair them with whipped cinnamon butter, and that morning it does not seem to be any different.

"Morning," Kaz greets as you grab two mugs from the cupboard.

In a manner that borderlines on reflexive despite Kaz's never having done so in that house, Kaz takes your electric kettle off of it's port, flips the top open and fills it with water. He sets it back on the port and clicks the small metal flap at the bottom end of the handle. He watches the port go from gray to blue to signify that the water has started heating, thanks to a mechanism that reacts to warmth.

"Morning," you respond as Kaz takes the mug he deems yours--the one shaped like a cauldron, while his is shaped like a ghost--and grabs a bag of your favorite tea, plopping it into the mug.

The two of you run through the motions quietly but contentedly even still--Kaz makes your tea, you make his coffee, Kaz gets the plates and you plate breakfast. You each grab your own utensils and sit down at the small black circular table that sits in your dining room.

Kaz, with a start, realizes he doesn't really know what to talk about. There is nothing, particularly, that currently plagues his mind. He loves the silence, though, and decides it best to allow it to remain uninterrupted.

Twenty minutes go by. Kaz thanks you for waking up and making the food--in Ketterdam, especially the Barrel, having a kitchen, having cups and plates to occupy the cupboards, utensils and baking tools to occupy the drawers and food to occupy the fridge and the pantry is a luxury. You like baking but what was the kitchen in the Slat was turned into the bar--and tells you he appreciates it.

You grin at him then, and Kaz knows that he will never escape the feeling that you are more than he will ever deserve.

That thing stirs within him again hours later, when lunch and dinner have both passed you by. It stirs when you've eaten your way through half of the pie brought to your doorstep by an old lady who'd claimed she had baked too much, the rest of it stored in the fridge for later consumption.

It is the innate feeling that Kaz cannot yet name that has him setting up the drying rack, grabbing the nearest dishtowel as his ears focus in on the sound of you humming along to the music, the music that plays softly from the gramophone as it filters into the kitchen from the lounge.

The ceramic ghost mug that you'd bought on your first day of the trip while you were in a town twenty minutes out from the farmhouse sits a couple of inches in front of Kaz, half full of chamomile tea because he does, in fact, aim to sleep through the night.

Candles have also been lit because the idea of turning the oil lamps on after sunset feels wrong, and Kaz looks at you and it all just hits him.

He's twenty-one, and he has been dating you since he was sixteen when it all just hits.

He looks at you, sees your face in the din as you dry off your hands and turn off the tap water, and suddenly he just knows.

Kaz Brekker knows that you are more than he will ever, ever deserve. He knows that he will someday propose to you and he will someday marry you, and perhaps he will retire when you do--likely around the age of 70, where retiring at ninety was his plan--and perhaps he will suggest long before you retire that you make the trips to this farmhouse a yearly thing.

He knows that he will have countless thoughts to get you tea when he's passed Baileys Cafe and he knows that he will walk back sixty paces to Baileys to get it countless times.

He knows that he will dry the dishes while you wash them, that he will find himself half awake in the heat of the Ketterdam summer, that he will get out of bed and pull the curtains back before trudging to bed again while still half asleep, just to feel himself awaken as he registers how easily enamoured he becomes with the way the sunlight cascades across you.

He knows he will come home many-a-night and he will fold the laundry with you, the two of you idly humming along to whichever record you've chosen to play on the gramophone, that your arm will bump Kaz's by accident and send the both of you into laughter.

He knows that he will experience the joy of getting to buy groceries with you, and he finds he can't wait to argue with you over the silliest things--a bag of six apples for one kruge is not the bargain deal you think it is. He knows that you'll remind him that getting two sets of the same coffee brand is not a smart financial move when the discount adds up to a grand total of one and a quarters kruge--and that one of you will laugh and the argument will break apart as though it does not exist.

"Kaz?" Someday, he will marry you. He will kiss your cheekbone in greeting and goodbye, and his soul will forever be entwined with yours.

Someday, he will have proof that the love he feels for you is not a weakness like so many Barrel thugs seem to think.

"Yeah?" Kaz asks, snapping out of his stupor.

You grin. "You okay? Lost you for a second there--you looked zoned out."

"Nothing serious," Kaz says. "Just uh--can't wait for the rest of the trip, is all. Could use a bit of rest if I'm completely honest."

You nod. "Me too,"

So then, dishes done and not a worry left in the world, the two of you blow out the candles you've lit. You go to bed a little earlier than normal, and Kaz knows that he will go to bed at your side for the rest of his days.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

[lady-ashfade]

Can you too a six of crows x male reader who is always clumsy and shy but yet they love to tease him about it (it can be a female reader if you want )

But he’s just so cute.

Poly!Six of crows x Male!Clumsy!Reader

Of course I’m doing it, it so freakin cute to think about. Because as a very clumsy person myself, I think we’re fun. Also you didn’t tell me if you wanted romantic or not, so I just did what I felt was right.

Warnings: Reader being a bit of a air-head, small cuts and wounds, short, slight teasing.

You had a funny way of always walking into a room, either it was hitting your hand on the door frame, or tripping somehow. The crows were all over you, maybe just watching and cooing at how clumsy you are.

The first time they really noticed this was when you walked into your own room door, the handle didn’t work right. You couldn’t open it in the first try, and you didn’t even think about it as you tried to walk in but got face full of wood. But when they finally noticed you weren’t going to stop doing it, they fixed the damn thing. Because even if it was adorable, they didn’t like the bruising beginning to form on your forehead or nose.

“Sweetheart,” Nina batted her eyelids at you and stopped you by placing a hand in front of your chest, “There’s a hole in the floor.” She pointed down. A big hole in between the wood planks would sure injure someones leg. She watched your shy smile and look of shame, “Thank you.” Your pout and shyness had her freaking out. Nina just grabbed ahold of your arm and pulled you back and out of the old shop, nothing caught her eyes.

Lets just say you had bruised and small cuts all over yourself. The crows always had a eye on you. You could trip down the stairs again, almost giving them a heart attack when you first did it.

“Ten bucks says he walks into the table.” Jesper jokes and the group glares at him. “Don’t joke like that.” Wylan hit his chest and glared softly at him. “He already did that twice today, he can’t possibly do-” Matthias began to speak until he saw you bump into the table again. Jesper laughed as he called it.

“I swear I’m going to wrap him up with pillows.” Kaz groans and he stands up to make his way over to you. Inej just shakes her head, maybe she was was slightly amused but this was always happening.

Inej eyed you as you talked to kaz with a shy smile and tell him the story, him slightly already teasing you about it. “How he can always be a dangerous to himself at every moment is truly a wonder,” she looked at them and a smirk grew, “But he’s just so cute.”

They always cover the table or corners of everything if you bend down, knowing you’ll most likely hit your previous head. They also carry around bandages and band-aids for you. Anything they can have to prepare they have it. But kisses to each wound you have is a must. Cuddles even for the tiniest scratches.

Wylan doesn’t allow you near his things. Because you accidentally knocked over important vials, or you made a tiny explosion once and he had to pull you into the ground to protect you. “I love you, but this” he smiled while onto of you, not angry at all “This can’t happen again.” And he kissed you on the nose.

But they all tease you any chance they get, like it’s frustrating honestly. “My clumsy boy.” Jesper would say as he helps you down the stairs. Or when Inej would take away anything sharp away from you, “Let me handle these.” And she never let you touch her knives. Kaz wouldn’t let you on mission, but he would let you plan them with him. Because you were pretty smart at those things. Kaz will hold onto your waist when you’re about to fall, he would smirk at you just as acted.

Overall I think they would tease you a lot, even about things that happen months before. But you’re their clumsy man, and they will always love that about you.

#six of crows #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x male reader #Inej ghafa x reader #Inej ghafa #nina zenik #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar x reader #Matthias helvar #jesper fahey #jesper fahey x reader #wylan van eck x reader #wylan van eck #poly six of crows #poly!six of crows x reader #kaz brekker

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I`ve wanted to write this post about the deleted scene for quite some time. So, in this essay (accompanied, as usual, with self-made sorry ass visuals) I will expand on why I believe Wylan actually knew what Jesper made for him and why he acted like he didn`t (this is going to be a long one, I can feel it in my bones, so I`ll break the post in parts).

When presented with the key, Wylan appears way too shocked for it to be just a reaction to Jesper using his abilities (IMO he is impressed and wants to cheer Jesper on, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts, but I also think there`s more to it). Just look at him:

It`s like he`s seen a ghost! Or, more likely, as if he`s seen something he never expected to see - a token of care and devotion. Besides, if you look closer, his surprise is a bit delayed - as if he goes: *presented with a weirdish key-shaped object* 'Oh, okay, this looks like a key' *realizes that it IS a key and Jesper is giving it to him* 'Oh, Ghezen!' And then Wylan takes a quick glance at Jesper`s face, looking away as soon as Jesper turns to him - as if he subconsciously asks for confirmation: 'Do you mean what I think you mean?' but then goes 'Oh no, don`t answer, don`t break my heart'.

Next, Wylan keeps looking at the key with shining eyes, then takes it for closer examination - and his expression starts to change, going from this (happy-startled, lit up from the inside, accompanied with "Oh, it`s good"):

to this (grim, full of sad determination, followed by "Is it like a coat hook?"):

Jack Wolfe is literally acting his eyes off here - the subtlety and emotional depth are breathtaking.

It`s like Wylan lets himself be happy for a single moment, but then his past full of abuse, neglect and humiliation catches up to him - and he immediately starts looking for reasons for Jesper`s gesture to be something different than what he initially thought it to be.

The thing is, Wylan Van Eck is a tender-hearted and kind person with a bottomless well of love inside of him - and at the same time he is a creature of logic and reasoning. The way I see it, Wylans analytical mind, just like Grisha powers, could be both a blessing and a curse. During the time he spent with Van Eck Sr he might have used it to distract himself from all the emotional hurt inflicted on him. But then, after years and years of being shamed and degraded by his own father, it turned against him - the thought of being a useless, pathetic disgrace has been drilled into him so deeply that his mind has started having trouble processing compliments, affirmation, affection - any sign of kindness. And given how brilliant and inventive Wylan`s mind is, he`s become quite adept at finding explanations to these signs that fit his perception of himself as lacking and not destined for happiness. Thank God for Jesper and the Crows, who are now helping Wylan (with visible results) to break free from the cage of doubt and self-loathing.

Well, this has got long enough:) If you are still not bored to death, here`s part 2😜

Tagging @eggrollofchaos01 (just as promised😊), @guillermosfamiliar (we discussed it a little bit, thought you might be interested😉), @agreysexualromantic (the topic of Wylan`s treacherous mind came up again🧐)

#shadow and bone #sab #shadow and bone season 2 #sab season two #wesper #wylan x jesper #jesper x wylan #wesper deleted scene #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part thirty-two

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: neutral

el's thoughts: again, thank you for being so patient with meee!! from a writing aspect, i'm almost done with the series! and it's wilddd i'm currently finishing up chapter thirty-five and my heart hurts knowing that i'm kinda almost done..

masterlist

Y/N stared silently at Kaz while he watched Inej intently, his bitter coffee eyes glittering in the light from the dome.

Inej explained how the costumes would be their masks. How the Fjerdans would only see a Suli lynx and a Kaelish mare. Not people, not even really girls, just lovely objects to be collected.

“It’s a risk,” said Kaz.

“What job isn’t?”

“Kaz, how are you, Matthias and Y/N going to get through?” asked Nina. “We might need you for locks, and if things go bad on the island, I don’t want to be stranded. I doubt you can pass yourselves off as members of the houses.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” said Kaz. “Helvar’s been holding out on us.”

“Have you?” asked Y/N.

“It’s not-” Matthias dragged a hand over his cropped hair. “How do you know these things, demjin?” he growled at Kaz.

“Logic. The whole Ice Court is a masterpiece of fail-safes and doubled systems. That glass bridge is impressive, but in an emergency, there would have to be another way to get reinforcements to the White Island and get the royal family out.”

Y/N and Jesper shared a smirk at the sight of Matthias’ baffled expression.

“Yes,” said Matthias in exasperation. “There’s another way to the White Island. But it’s messy.” He glanced at Nina. “And it certainly can’t be done in a gown.”

“Hold on,” Jesper interrupter. “Who cares if you can all get onto the White Island? Let’s say Nina sparkles Yul-Bayur’s location out of some Fjerdan higher-up, and you get him back here. We’ll be trapped/ By then, the prison guards will have completed their search and are going to know seven inmates got out of the sector somehow. Any chance we have of making it through the embassy gates and the checkpoints will be gone.”

Kaz peered past the dome to the embassy’s open courtyard and the ringwall gatehouse beyond.

“Wylan, how hard would it be to disable one of these gates?”

“To get it open?”

“No, to keep it closed.”

“You mean break it?” Wylan shrugged. “I don’t think it would be too difficult. I couldn’t see the mechanism when we entered the prison gate, but from the layout, I’m guessing it’s pretty standard.”

“Pulleys, cogs, some really big screws?”

“Well, yes, and a sizable winch. The cables wrap around it like a big spool, and the guards just turn it with some kind of handle or wheel.”

“I know how a winch works. Can you take one apart?”

“I think so, but it’s the alarm system the cables are attached to that’s complicated. I doubt I could do it without triggering Black Protocol.”

“Good,” said Kaz. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

Jesper held up a hand. “I’m sorry, isn’t Black Protocol the thing we want to avoid at all costs?”

“I do seem to remember something about certain doom,” said Nina.

“Not if we use it against them.” Y/N spoke up causing Kaz to give her a nod. “Tonight, most of the Court’s security is concentrated on the White Island and right here at the embassy. When Black Protocol sounds, the glass bridge will shut down, trapping all those guards on the island along with the guests.”

“But what about Matthias’ rout off the island?” asked Nina.

“They can’t move a major force that way,” Matthias conceded. “At least not quickly.”

Kaz gazed out at the White Island, head filter, eyes slightly unfocused.

“Scheming face,” Inej murmured.

Y/N nodded. “Definitely.”

“Three gates in the ringwall,” Kaz said. “The prison gate is already locked up tight because of Yellow Protocol. The embassy gate is a bottle neck crammed with guests—the Fjerdans aren’t going to get the troops through there. Jesper, that just leaves the gate in the druskelle sector for you and Wylan to handle. You use it to engage Black Protocol, then wreck it. Break it badly enough that any guards who manage to mobilize can’t get out to follow us.”

“I’m all for locking the Fjerdans in their own fortress,” said Jesper. “Truly. But how do we get out? Once we trigger Black Protocol, you guys will be trapped on that island, and we’ll be trapped in the outer circle. We have no weapons and no demo materials.”

Kaz’s grin was sharp as a razor. “Thank goodness we’re proper thieves. We’re going to do a little shopping—and it’s all going on Fjerda’s tab.”

~

Y/N looked at her strange crew, barefoot and shivering in their soot-stained prison uniforms, their features limned by the golden light of the dome, softened by the mist that hung in the air.

What bound them together? Greed? Desperation? Was it just the knowledge that if one or all of them disappeared tonight, no one would come looking? Maybe Nikolai would send a few troops to search but that was out of duty. Y/N had no one to shed a tear and mourn her life. She had no family, no parents, no siblings, only people to fight beside. And she knew that was always something to be grateful for, too.

It was Jesper who spoke first. “No mourners,” he said with a grin.

“No funerals,” they replied in unison. Even Matthias muttered the words softly.

“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket,” Jesper said as he hefted two slender could of rope over his shoulder and signaled for Wylan to follow him across the roof. “The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”

Y/N was only slightly surprised to see the intensity of the look that passed between Matthias and Nina. Something had changed between them after the battle with the Shu, but she couldn’t be sure what.

Matthias cleared his throat and gave Nina an awkward little bow. “A word?” he asked.

Nina returned the bow with considerably more panache, and let him lead her away.

Inej gave the inferni a soft smile and slipped the recognizable pair of black leather gloves into her hands. The Suli nodded towards Kaz and slipped away to wait for Nina.

Y/N turned to face him and walked to his side.

“I have something for you,” she said as she held out his gloves.

He stared at them. “How-”

“I got them from the discarded clothes and gave them to Inej before she made the climb.”

He pulled the gloves on slowly, and she watched his pale, vulnerable hands disappear beneath the leather. They were trickster hands—long, graceful fingers made for prying open locks, hiding coins, making things vanish.

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m heading back to Ravka right away.”

He looked away. “You should. You’re too good for the Barrel anyway.”

She hummed and closed her eyes tightly in frustration. She didn’t know what she expected from him but she wanted more.

He reached down to hold her wrist. “Y/N.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of a burn scar she got when she miss caught her first flame. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know … ”

She waited. She felt hope rustling its wings inside her, ready to take flight at the right words from Kaz. She willed that hope into stillness. Those words would never come. Hope is dangerous.

She reached up and touched his cheek. She thought he might flinch again, even pull away from her. He let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still, just barely leaning closer to her warm touch.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see his dazed gaze focus back onto her, still not pulling away. She knew it was the best he could offer at the moment and she nodded softly.

She dropped her hand. He took a deep breath.

Kaz had said he didn’t want her prayers and she wouldn’t speak them, but she wished his safe and sane nonetheless.

Matthias stood a few feet away from the pair, grabbing the Inferni’s attention.

“Let’s go, Kaz.”

~*~

taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes @bookworm-center @el-de-phi @so-get-this-sammy @skittleabyss @crispy-croke @cometsghost @auttumnsayshi

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #ellora.writes

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Exactly as you are

Previous chapter/ Next chapter

a/n I apologize for the wait but here is part four! This story is literally a part of my identity now. Once again thank you to my sunshine @brekkershadowsinger for being my beta reader and sifting through ideas with me! All the love is so appreciated!🤍✨

summary: when two broken souls meet something is bound to happen.

warnings: none? This feels wrong... past trauma, scars and I'm definitely forgetting something.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Time. What a strange concept it is. We say that it takes a while for true feelings to grow. It takes a moment before you realize that you can trust someone, or even more, that you fully believe you know them. But then all the hard work of building can be ripped away and shattered in seconds. Maybe even less. So is it worth it? Is the work of building and cherishing worth it when it can all be taken away from you quicker than your heart could make a single beat?

You were sitting on the windowsill. The early morning sun kissed your skin, chasing the cold breeze away. The window was fully open. You had a thick, knitted blanket wrapped around you. Kaz's order - when he saw you sitting there with only your nightgown on. You hadn't left his room in the past couple of days, and Kaz was glad to give you a safe sanctuary to pick yourself up. He brought food up there. Let you look at the stars until most of the lights in the dregs were out. Just like after the first night, the bar hadn't been brought up. You knew that you could talk about it if you wanted to, but Kaz wasn't going to push you to do so.

You flipped through the last pages of your book. A frustrated huff left your lips as you pushed it closer to your chest, looking out into the distance. A light frown on your face. "What is it?", Kaz's voice made you glance over to his table. His head was buried in the papers that Jesper had brought up yesterday. He hadn't let go of them yet; some pages had permanent dents from where Kaz had held onto them for hours on end. You shook your head just as another sigh left your lips once more. "They didn't get a happy ending", you muttered quietly.

Kaz had gotten you that book. A lady had walked up to him in the middle of the street with a basket full of books. She pulled out a pretty old book in hardcover, "Find a home for it", she had told him, and Kaz was quick to drop it onto your lap, considering that you consumed anything and everything with letters on it. "Happy endings are overrated. Who is truly happy at the end of the day?", his words were distantly cold. Your eyes landed on him again. The funny thing was that you were feeling happy. Always feeling happy when you could finish your day up here with him. Happy when he would fall into light conversation with you. Happy when you would feel his presence behind you. Close enough to feel, but far enough to not be touched. Blinking a couple of times, you moved closer to the chest of drawers.

Kaz's eyes glimpsed up ever so slightly when you pulled the material off your skin. He often wondered if you felt his eyes on you while changing. He didn't gawk at you like a silly teenager. He loved your skin. Liked that harsh reminder of the world that swirled outside the slat. Kaz often thought about how it would feel to run his fingers through the deep valleys of scars on your back. He had grown to love that part of you so deeply, and so quietly.

"If…", you started, cutting yourself. Kaz lowered his gaze before lifting his head as if he was indeed looking at you for the first time. "Well, I was wondering if…", you muttered. Kaz dropped his pen. "Just get to it", he urged you, frowning slightly at his tone. "I want to go outside or at least downstairs, but…", your hands reached behind your back, quickly doing up a couple of buttons there. "I heard the girls saying in the street below that the apple trees are in full bloom. I've never seen one properly before".

How lame did it sound? A girl your age would probably walk through a tree like that without a second look. Most younglings ran around, climbing trees. Yet you never got to experience that. Sold after your first bleed, pulled, and shoved ever since. Locked somewhere deep within a house until you were needed. At best, getting to watch or see a tree or two through cracks in the walls. Kaz's silence felt like an answer in itself. He had grown even more protective after the incident, and at first, just being with him was exactly what you needed. But now it was starting to suffocate you.

"I have business in town till noon. I'll take you there after I'm finished", you just stood there, unable to help the surprised look that flashed through your face. The corners of your lips tugged upward ever so slightly. You wanted to let him know that he didn't have to. That you would understand. Maybe someone else would go with you, but now that he has offered… Your cheeks grew pink, and you quickly dabbed them, saying, "I'll be looking forward to that". You moved to wrap the silk scarf over your hair, fixing it neatly, and when you turned back around, Kaz was by the door, keeping it open for you."Oh, we're going now?", you questioned. "Aren't you hungry?", he asked bluntly, motioning with his cane for you to get going. "Just thought…" you said, but you shook your head, stepping in front of Kaz. Your fingers brushed against his arm ever so slightly as you moved past him.

Kaz slipped through the back door without a second thought. You did feel his hand lingering closer to the small of your back while you walked down the stairs as if he was there to catch you. There to offer support in case you fell or simply changed your mind and wanted to get back upstairs. But then, without you even having a chance to catch a second glance at him, he was gone. The warmth of him was replaced by the lingering coldness that now seemed to burn your back. You stood there for a moment. Just looking at the back door as if that somehow was going to summon Kaz back.

"Oh, Y/N", Jesper's voice made you turn around quickly. The genuine surprise on his face was hard to miss. Your eyes slipped to the plate filled with waffles that he was carrying, stomach growling lightly in begging for food. You wrapped your arms around yourself. The familiar unease returned to shackle your body. Wishing you were here, you let that thought slip through your mind. Not chasing after it, though, when it slowly drifted away into nothingness. "Come, join us. Everyone's been missing you", this time Jesper's voice had that comforting tone, the one that he always used while talking to you, followed up by a warm smile. He doesn't reach out a hand toward you. Aware of the impact a contact like that could have. You just nodded slightly, falling into the step behind him.

The kitchen seemed a lot lighter today. The windows were open, making the white curtains sway ever so slightly. Dancing in the spring breeze. Someone had bought flowers that were nicely arranged in a big vase. The sound of laughter and chatter made this place feel so much more like home. Who needed a fancy dining room if it would be filled with silence? However, it all died down when you came from behind Jesper's back. As if the ghost had lingered in the place, sending a shiver down everyone's backs.

You lowered your head. Scared to meet everyone's faces. As if you were meeting them all over again. But that fear didn't get to linger for long as you felt two hands bringing you closer to someone. A familiar scent filled your nose, and you were brought into Nina's embrace. She was the most affectionate of them all. And it was a big statement considering that Jesper and Wylan were rarely apart. But she thrived on it. Fed on it and consumed it with all that she had. "I am so sorry, you can't imagine. All this time, I've been blaming myself. You do know that I would never…", she burst out, tripping over her own words as she pulled away from you, wanting nothing more but to meet your eyes. "It's okay", you muttered, squeezing her hands. Nina's face froze for a moment, her mouth gaping slightly. "You should probably breathe because your heart might stop", you urge her sheepishly, yet she just shook her head as a smile crept onto her face as well.

You always liked blending into the background chatter that mingled around a table filled with food. Not knowing why. It just felt calming. You could observe. Be there, but also always able to build a wall between yourself and everyone in the room. Having a chance to watch the four of them was something you became so attracted to. Missed it even during your days up at Kaz's room. It was a sense of belonging. Even if you didn't want to participate in the talking, they never missed a chance to double-check that you had everything, whether you wanted seconds or a drink. It was a sense of warmth. A smile and loving words. Something that you didn't get any of before you came here. A sense of family. Knowing very well that if you reached out, you would never be denied. Never be left alone.

So without even thinking, you leaned to the side. Pressing your head on Jesper's shoulder. His hand instantly embraced you. "You're tired? Want me to walk you back up?", he asked you softly, but you didn't trust your voice, shaking your head ever so slightly. He dropped his hand from your side, leaving you enough room to pull away when being close to him got too much. You wanted to thank him for looking after you and for always being so patient, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do so. Looking up at him, you wondered if he knew. Knew how much it meant to you to have someone like him. Jesper's eyes met yours as he pulled his attention from the story that Nina was telling. Pushing a strand of hair behind your ears, he gave you a lighter smile, winking before turning back to the rest of his friends.

"Soo…", Nina spoke up when you all had finally finished eating, and the dishes were washed and dried. You continued to fold dried clothes without acknowledging her curiosity. "Cone on now, you and Kaz", Nina said, wriggling her eyebrows. Abandoning the pile in front of her as she stepped closer to you. Flopping down on one of the bench. Perching her head on her fist as she beamed at you.

"What about me and Kaz?", you asked her, as if you indeed had no clue what she was referring to. You expected it. Well, no, you expected them all to first go to Kaz or not bring it up at all for that same reason. You knew that the fact that you had been calling for him for hours upon hours had to mean something.

"He cares about you", you quickly blinked a couple of times, dragging yourself out of your thoughts as Nina nudged you once more. "Well, yeah", you trailed off, moving to pick up another basket, "Just like he cares about all of his investments". Nina's hopeful face was quickly dampened by annoyance as she rolled her eyes at you. "Oh, wonderful! You even sound just like Kaz now", she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. The silence fell upon the two of you.

She had been eyeing you up during breakfast, so you weren't all that surprised when she asked you if you wanted to help her tackle the laundry. Nina was one curious woman, more than ready for a sprinkle of gossip. Her heart was pure. You know just as well that even before you spoke to her, she always made sure that you felt a part of their group. So if you were to join her, she always talked. Talked without taking a moment to breathe at times, and it brought you some comfort. Her voice kept your attention.

"You two talk?", she tried again, and you couldn't help the silent giggle that slipped past your lips, "Nina, is this an interrogation?" She let out a frustrated growl. Struggling as much as she usually struggles with Kaz when he indeed joins everyone for dinner or lunch. "No, no, just…", she was quick to defend herself. "You two seem like two broken pieces who ended up piecing together and…", "So you needed help with laundry?", you cut her off quickly. For some reason, it felt weird.

You didn't want to talk about anything that was happening in Kaz's room. Mostly because you didn't know what was happening. It didn't have a label. It wasn't something you could measure. Yes, things had shifted. There were evenings when you lay in bed together, just looking at each other. The first time Kaz climbed in to lay beside you, you probably looked redder than a strawberry. It was just that—laying and looking. Seeing. You've never been with anyone in such an intimate way. The world around you drowned out. Just you and him. Kaz would slip away after you'd fallen asleep. His fingers trace the side of your cheek or resting over your palm for a heartbeat. But nothing was ever verbal.

"Fine, don't say anything. I feel it all anyways", Nina said, standing up with a huff and swirling her hand in the air as she returned to her pile of laundry. "You feel what?", you frowned quickly. Surely, she couldn't feel you two from Kaz's attic room. Could she even distinguish it? And what was there to feel? "Nothing, nothing, an investment, and the owner", Nina smirked at you before dropping her gaze. You stood there for a moment. But with a quick shake of your head, returned to folding.

Kaz was frustrated. Even that didn't cut it. The anger in his veins was starting to burn. Nothing. No matter what he did or who he threatened, nothing led him any closer to the males in his bar. He simply didn't understand. How could someone just appear out of nowhere? No leads. Nothing to hold onto. As if that was the main point. As if the assault wasn't the main thing, the chaise was what was supposed to drive Kaz insane.

"Polina would have liked this", you muttered, eyes closed as you sat with your face turned to the evening sun. Kaz was desperate all day. Desperate to walk back and take you to see the blooming trees. He knew this was going to be his lifeline. Something that would keep him in check. And it was. The way your eyes nearly filled up with tears as you took the whole field of wild apple trees in. White and pink petals fall gracefully from time to time. He watched how you carefully reached up to touch them. So gentle as if you were to hurt them somehow. How you had turned to beam at him, how you had smiled. You. How was anyone able to take one look at you and want to harm you when all Kaz wanted was to protect and cherish you?

"Your sister?", he asked, and you nodded your head. You had never talked to Kaz about Polina. But you weren't all that surprised that he knew who she was. You fully expected Kaz to have done a background check on you, and at times it made you wonder - what did he know? What had he managed to find? And if he knew everything, why had he not said anything yet? But you never dared to. Clinging to the hope that Kaz had only gathered some of your backstory, not enough to uncover it all.

"Yeah, I feel like Jordie would be here sketching this", Kaz motioned with his cane to the rest of the field that stretched out in front of you. The setting sun was slowly starting to paint everything a golden gleam. Kaz felt stupid the moment these words had slipped past his lips, but there was no turning back, and the way your eyes had softened at that moment made it painfully aware that you understood his longing.

"Thank you for this", you muttered, turning your attention fully to the male sitting by your side. It was such a weird thing to see Kaz sitting on the grass, leaning against the tree. He looked his age here, not some dangerous gang owner who everyone feared. Kaz only hummed, closing his own eyes for a moment. You bit your lip as you watched him, and then your body was moving before you could even think about it. Leaning closer to press a feather-like kiss onto Kaz's cheeks, pulling back straight away.

His eyes shot open. Big eyes as he took in your rosy cheeks. The urge to pinch them between his fingers and kiss you was all Kaz could think of, but he shoved that thought deep down. Suffocating it with his own hands until it lay lifeless in the back of his mind. The switch in his emotions set you off as well. The flushed cheeks ran pale, and you turned away from him, rubbing your fingers together. "We need to head back. I need to work some more", Kaz stood up first, moving to walk even before you were up.

You had slipped into your quiet self upon returning home. Nina had tried to joke around about how you and Kaz had returned together, but your face only dulled at the mention of that, so she quickly changed the topic. Kaz went out once more with a harsh slam on the door, and all you could think about was how your actions had made him upset. You thought about asking Nina to check on his heartbeat to see if she could read out some of his emotions. Anything that might help you settle your guilt. But you had decided against it, knowing that this would be a breach that Kaz would never forgive.

When everyone fell into an easy conversation downstairs, you slipped out, heading back to Kaz's room. You debated whether you should be taking your bedding to the room that was initially set to be yours. You wondered if he was still going to talk to you tonight. Or come lay beside you so you could apologize and promise to never do that again. That you had just been craving his touch because he had started to feel so much like a haven, and your body was just seeking out the comfort he brought you. Your eyes feel upon the chair that lay pushed over. The papers were spread out all over the room. Some were even on the bed. You picked them up, turning them over in your hands, before an idea sparked in your head.

Kaz didn't have a reason to be walking through the streets so late, but his mind was moving so fast that he felt like he needed to move his body too, or he would explode. Even in the cold evening, nipping at his skin, all Kaz could feel were your warm lips. It felt like a flash of lightning. So quick you could hardly catch it at the time, but evident because it had set his whole body in overdrive.

He had to apologize once he got back. He had wanted to do that before he walked out. The moment he saw you sitting by the table downstairs, looking at the wall in front of you. But the moment he wanted to step in, Nina had walked up to you, hosting you up so you would help her with dinner. Your lips. The soft touch of them against his skin. Kaz wasn't sure why, but he didn't feel the drowning fear when you leaned in. Maybe he simply wasn't expecting it, or maybe his body was able to tell that it was you.

Yet his desires faded the moment he opened the door to his room and found you piling up the papers that he had left there prior. No. No. You didn't just… "What have you done", Kaz rushed in, looking all over the room. All the mappings of the information that he had been working on for days. Everything that was supposed to lead him to the males at the club. "It was all messy, I thought…", your voice was so small as you quickly let go of the files in your hands, stepping away from the table. "Who asked you to do this?", he rushed over, ripping the drawers open and sending some of the papers flying, "You stupid… thing. I was this close!"

Pulling a pile of papers, Kaz quickly sifted through them. There was once again no order between them. A harsh slap on the desk made you jump back. "Kaz…", you crocked out; this was supposed to be way different. All you wanted to do was help. "Get out", he pointed towards the door, and you let out a cry straight away. Never before had he pushed you away, no matter the frustration or the meeting he had with the crows, but here you were. "Get out; I don't want to see you here ever again", his words cut into your skin. Your lips trembled, but you still lingered. Hoping that maybe. Maybe he would change his mind. "I said get lost, or are you deaf now too?", you shook your head. Stepping out of the room, close the door behind you carefully.

You quickly rushed down the stairs, hand covering your mouth so you would suppress the sobs threatening to slip past your lips. You had no idea where you were supposed to go. Could you still stay here, somewhere in the house? Or were you supposed to get out here fully? You caught a glimmer of four crows, all standing by the arch that leads toward the living room. Faces drenched in confusion. No doubt, they had heard the yelling from upstairs. But you couldn't take it. Couldn't take pity. The smothering that came with comforting someone. So you leaped towards the door, ripping it open as you slipped out into the night.

You strode as if you were in a daze. The streets were familiar to you, but with all the emotions running through your body, it felt more like you were floating. The hot tears stung your eyes as you turned to get away from the main streets. You needed to find a place to lay low. Something. Anything. Till he calmed down. Till you could say sorry. But just as a night in the club, you felt it before it happened.

Someone grabbed you from behind just this time, instead of someone lingering to breathe down your neck, you felt a cold blade being pushed against it as the person pressed you closer to its chest with the free hand. "And the bird finally flew into the trap", your whole body went cold as the male's voice filled the dark alleyway. You knew that you should have run because the grip he had on you wasn't firm, and if you were smart enough, you might be able to turn just enough to avoid him slicing your throat fully open. But you couldn't move; your body was as firm as a block of ice.

"As quiet as I left you. No one taught you how to chirp?", the sick feeling twisted your guts. Something within you cracked, awakening the spark within you. Yet that wasn't enough to fade out the fear when you felt the cloth being pressed over your face. You tried to push it away, scratching your nails against the male's hand, but it didn't seem to give you any advantage, and as the black dots filled your vision, the only thing that made you petrified was that you knew who that voice belonged to and that you had hoped to never see that face again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[sophierequests]

hi lovely! i have a fic idea! kaz brekker x reader where the prompt is

"take my hand"

"no"

"look im not trying to ask you to marry me, im trying to save your life"

take my hand and don't let go

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: Found the beginning of this in my drafts and I literally do not remember starting it?? So I decided to scrap some stuff and rewrite this fic, because I actually really love this prompt for Kaz! I intended on making this into a rather light-hearted fic, but my poor writer's brain sees the name Kaz Brekker and immediately switches to angst, so sorry for that </3 It has a fluffy ending though, so don't be afraid. And, of course, thank you for the request, lovely <333

Summary: A job gone wrong forces the reader to do something she had tried to avoid: touching Kaz.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, kinda Fluff???

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Blood, explosion, Kaz Brekker isn't able to express his emotions properly, who could've guessed that?

“They still haven’t given us the signal, Kaz.” You pressed, anxiously watching the man in front of you fidget with his lock-picking tool as he tried to avoid your gaze as best as he could.

At first, the job seemed to be relatively manageable. Inej and Jesper would climb into the warehouse first, surveying the area and notifying you once everything was deemed safe. After that, Kaz and you would pick the lock, steal the blueprints you needed for your next big heist, and leave. It was something you had done countless times before - always getting out successfully - so no one was really worried about it when you went in.

However, the whole situation just didn’t sit right with you. Upon entering the supposedly abandoned building, you were immediately starting to get suspicious of how clean it was. It was far too well taken care of for a warehouse without any real occupants since the previous shareholders had gone ‘bankrupt’. And even though all of that definitely rubbed you the wrong way, Kaz proceeded to make his way through the dingy hallways in the direction of the vault. You didn’t even try to get him to reconsider, he wouldn’t have listened anyway.

By now, the two others should have already cleared the entirety of the premise, causing Kaz to become a bit restless. His fingers were itching to finally get all of this over with. The blueprints were crucial for his next plan, so you fully understood why he needed this mission to work. But it genuinely unnerved you that he was ready to throw caution to the wind just because your friends diverted from the original plan.

“What are you doing?” He leaned down just enough to access the lock without putting too much pressure on his bad leg. The weather had been terribly frigid over the last few weeks, and it was taking a toll on his agility. It pained you to watch him put himself through this without being able to offer him help, but you knew that he would be too stubborn to actually accept it.

“What does it look like? Interpretive dance?” He sneered, removing his leather gloves before getting to work. His alabaster hands clashed with the rich black colour of his coat, making them look almost translucent. You watched him as he reached for the tool, pausing briefly to prepare his mind for the coldness of the metal. With a huffed breath, he brought it up to the lock, cautiously manoeuvring the tip around inside the mechanism. You didn’t know why he had such a severe aversion to touch - one where he couldn’t even bear to be touched by cold materials or objects - but you were well aware that it had to have been something pretty traumatic for him to react this way, meaning that you wouldn’t pry.

“Inej and Jesper haven’t told us that everything is clear, you can’t just ignore your own orders!” You hissed, giving him an exasperated glare that could have just as well been a carbon copy of his own, whenever he had to deal with Jesper’s antics.

“My orders are the only orders I can disregard without a guilty conscience.”

“Oh please, you and having a guilty conscience? I thought you weren’t one for fairytal-” The sentence was harshly cut off by yells echoing from the corridor adjacent to the one you were in. You turned your head, whilst Kaz was still focused on picking the lock.

“Kaz! Y/N! Don’t!” Jesper yelled as he finally appeared in your line of sight. When he saw the situation you were in, his already frantic eyes grew even wider, a look of horror spreading all over his face.

“Jesper, what is-”

“Explosives!” The words didn’t even fully leave his mouth as the distinct click of the lock forced your eyes back towards Kaz. He only had time to shout for both of you to run before a deafening bang sounded from behind the door. Only Jesper was still able to follow his command. You were still wrapping your head around the situation when a sharp blow lifted you off your feet with brutal force.

Your body hit the concrete ground with a firm thud, rendering you unable to move for a few moments after the impact. Everything around you was spinning, and you felt as if you had just lost the majority of your ability to hear, but staying on the ground wasn’t an option. The distinct metallic smell of an explosive-induced fire travelled through the dust-filled air, as you forced yourself to sit up. You could barely make out the silhouettes and shapes of the objects around you as you watched the fire crawl out of the room. If you didn’t leave now, you would be the next thing to succumb to its wrath.

Kaz.

The thought shot into your mind like the top of an arrow hitting a bullseye. Your distorted sight and slight dizziness limited your ability to spot him greatly, but you wouldn’t leave him here to die.

A violent cough caught your attention, and you saw the hunched-over form of Kaz futilely trying to sit up. Since he had been so close to the epicentre of the explosion, the sheer power of the blow had thrown him right against the rough wall opposite the door. You could recognize scratches and bruises all over his face as his eyes hectically peered through the rubble around him.

“Kaz!” You called out, wobbly dashing towards him. His head snapped around to face you, an emotion akin to relief flashing over his features. He tried to push himself up, at least to get into a sitting position, but his whole body ached as he attempted to do so. It was only then that both of you noticed the torn-up fabric of his trousers revealing a deep gash on the side of his leg. His good leg. “This looks bad.”

“Go.” He let out a laboured breath, as he let his back rest against the wall.

“And leave you here to die? We both know I won’t do that.” You thankfully managed to spot his cane, bringing it over to him as quickly as you could. Kneeling down next to him, you tried to assess the damage with weary eyes.

“Y/N, that wasn’t a request. Go.” The harsh tone of his voice didn’t faze you anymore. He might be a stubborn bastard, but even he didn’t deserve to meet his end in a filthy burning warehouse.

“If you think that I’ll start listening to you know, you are greatly mistaken.”

“I won’t be able to walk.” He hissed in pain as he finally managed to sit up properly. If it had been anyone else but Kaz Brekker, you wouldn’t even have thought twice about pulling him to his feet and dragging him outside. But you couldn’t do that to him.

“Take my hand.” You hoisted yourself up to your feet again, stretching out your hand for him to take. This was risky, however, you needed to do something.

“No.” His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked up at you, apprehension written all over his face.

“Kaz, for Saints’ sake! Look, I’m not trying to ask you to marry me, I’m trying to save your life!” This attempt at humour wasn’t much appreciated.

“I can’t.” His gaze wandered to his hands. His bare hands. He didn’t have his gloves. Shit, this only managed to get worse. You really didn’t want to do this.

“Listen, I can’t - and won’t - force you to do anything.” Your previously demanding voice grew a bit softer as you gave him one last chance. “I know that this is going to be really uncomfortable for you, but we have to leave. I’ll do whatever you tell me if that means that you’ll agree to let me help you.”

“Okay.” You watched the way his hand shook as he reached for yours. With a surprisingly tight grip, he held onto it, allowing you to pull him to his feet.

Immediately upon standing up, an intense pang of pain shot through his legs and he began to stumble forward, his body threatening to give in again. Your mind went into overdrive as you lunged forward, hastily putting an arm under his shoulder and letting him cling to yours.

His heart began to race when he realized the situation he was in. His bare hands had been on your bare hands and now there were only two layers of clothes separating your skin. You were close. Way too close for him to function properly. The rising waters mixed with the stinging ache rushing through his legs made him want to vomit.

“Kaz.” Your voice pulled him out of his stupor briefly, giving him enough distraction to keep him from pushing you away and having a panic attack right then and there. “We need to move. Please, tell me what to do.”

“Keep talking.” He shifted his weight to partially lean on his cane, reducing the pressure he had put on you. “Distract me.”

The cracking of the fire behind you made the urgency you felt prior to this return. You managed to give him a brief nod before carefully beginning to inch forward. One of your arms supported his back, while the other rested on his chest to keep him from falling forward. From where your hand was situated, you could basically feel his heart thud against his ribcage, his rapid breathing only underlining the panic brewing inside him.

“Do you remember that one week two months ago? When all of your heist plans went missing and you never figured out who took them, even after they returned the week after?” You had to distract him. You had to keep talking.

“Yes?”

“I hid them.” It was a stupid thing to bring up. It didn’t have any correlation to what was happening right now, but it seemed to get him to focus on something else than the current situation.

“What?” The words almost came out as a chuckle, but you weren’t sure whether that was because he genuinely found it entertaining, or because the absurdity of the situation beat him to it.

“You were ill. You had a fever.” Kaz almost froze when he heard that. It was true. He had been ill that week - probably one of the worst fevers he had since the plague. But he never told anyone. He even made sure to lock his window to stop Inej from suddenly appearing. Initially, he had intended to retreat into his office, and just continue to work on some upcoming heist plans. However, one day after breakfast, all of the plans were gone, and no one seemed to know a thing. Not even a thorough search through the Slat made them reappear. Eventually, he just decided to give you the week off for ‘recreational activities after an especially tiring heist’. Lo and behold, after his fever had set again, the plans returned to his desk again - neatly stacked and sorted. “I hid them so you could rest. I knew what you were trying to do, and I didn’t want you to overwork yourself just to keep anyone from being made aware that you can get sick too.”

Ask her why.

The questions bubbled inside his head. Why would you go out of your way to force him to rest? Why did you even care about his well-being enough to do something like that?

“Why?” He rasped out, becoming even more aware of the way his heart raged against its restraints.

“I suppose for the same reason why I’m not letting you stay here and die.” That statement was a bit too honest for your liking, and Kaz seemed to have picked up on it. However, before he could press the matter further, a sudden wave of nausea and vertigo overcame him. The waves had ultimately managed to pull him under.

And without being able to take another step, his legs buckled, the world around him fading into black. The only thing you could do was to hold onto him as he fell, only scarcely breaking the fall before his limp body hit the ground. He had fainted.

The next time he woke up he wasn’t in the warehouse anymore. He was at the Slat. In his own room. In his own bed. It seemed to be late - the darkness engulfing him was a pretty strong base for that thesis. The only source of light that had even allowed him to recognize where he was, came from somewhere beside him. He didn’t bother to look where it was coming from, nor did he have the energy to turn his head.

Every still-intact muscle screamed at him, but he felt a strong urge to sit up. His efforts were futile though. A hand quickly hovered above his chest, not touching him, but present enough to get him to abandon his task.

“Don’t.” Kaz could feel his entire body relax when he heard your voice. He had half-heartedly expected it to be Nina, or maybe even Jesper, there to scold him for being so foolish. Having you here was way preferable. “Don’t try to sit up. You need to rest. And if Nina sees that I allowed you to sit up, she’ll probably stop my heart. Or yours. Or both of our hearts if she’s feeling especially murderous.”

His head fell back on his pillow, angling it a little to the side to take a better look at you and also finding the lamp that just barely illuminated the corner of his room. You sat right next to his bed, some novel resting idly in your lap as you gave him a comforting smile. And even though he still felt as if he had been run over by a carriage going full speed, he couldn’t help the ghost of a smirk rush over his lips.

“What happened?” The question had been burning holes in his head since the bomb went off. He had a rough idea, but the details were rather blurry.

“It was a trap. Dime Lions. They paid our informant to lure us right into their trap. Apparently, Inej found a stack of letters in the not-so-abandoned office, but Jesper was too late to tell us.” You recited what they told you after dragging Kaz back to the Slat. You didn’t remember every single detail, but this amount of information would suffice for now.

“I should have waited.” Kaz groaned, regret flooding his mind as he remembered the events of the day prior. Had he only waited a little while longer…

“Hey,” You reached forward, resting your hand just mere inches away from his. “You couldn’t have known. We all made it out alive, so you have nothing to blame yourself for.”

“That doesn’t rectif-”

“Kaz.” He only sighed in response to your warning glare.

“Fine.”

“I think I should go down and tell Nina that you’re awake. She wanted to take another look at your leg once you’re conscious again.” You were just about to stand up when Kaz seized the hand close to his. His touch was featherlight, - not at all comparable to the tight grip he had on it a day earlier - but it was still there.

“I knew that it was you.” He croaked out, his eyes fixed on yours as if you were about to vanish once he averted them.

“That I was what?” You replied perplexed, your brain still trying to process the fact that he was willingly touching you right now.

“That you were the person who stole the heist plans. I didn’t know your reasoning, but I knew that it was you.”

“You knew? Why didn’t you say anything? If it had been Jesper, you would’ve ripped him to shreds?”

A pause.

He knew exactly why he didn’t confront you about it. He just couldn’t tell you. At least not yet.

“I suppose for the same reason I wanted you to leave the warehouse without me.” His hand gave yours a brief squeeze before eventually letting go. Even though he didn’t say it out loud, the knowing smile that began to settle on your face told him that you knew.

Taglist:

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#kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows