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#i love him bye
crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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Bakugou is a stumbling, fumbling nerd at best. But once he realizes that you become even more flustered than him? The fucker won’t leave you alone.
He’s not a fan of PDA, mainly because he doesn’t like seeing it so he doesn’t like acting it out in turn, but he grabs your hand one day while you’re out. Paparazzi is swarming you and he doesn’t want you getting lost in the crowd, so he plucks your hand from where it’s tucked in your (his) hoodie pocket. He snatches you up against his side and pulls you in until his hand drops yours to protectively wrap around your shoulders instead, bringing you against his chest. He thinks you might be hurt after you get inside, when you’re too flustered to look him in the eye for a while.
So he tests, experiments with you. Gives you a sweet little kiss on the lips when your friends are around, when fans are looking. He watches how you always smile a little, bat at his chest and push him away because now that he’s seen you like this, he’s gonna want more from you. At private parties, he has no qualms about rubbing your ass while you stand there, mid conversation with someone. You keep stuttering over your words and trying to bat him away gently, and he wouldn’t typically do this, but you’re so cute. So cute when the person finally walks away and you punch softly at his chest in embarrassment, how you squeak when he pulls you in a hug just to grab another handful of your ass.
Omg and doing joint interviews together!!!! Usually he’s pretty private about everything, but he likes sharing little details—not to embarrass or humiliate you, but because he knows you’re getting flashbacks of tangled sheets and sweet nights whenever he mentions a little detail. Or maybe, you find yourself patting his thigh jokingly, before looking over at him, a smile stretching your face. But the evil little fucker is only smirking at you, his eyes low, posture slumped as he spreads his thighs just the tiniest bit wider. He doesn’t even say anything, just glances at how high your hand is on his thigh before looking back up at you, an eyebrow cocked. You snatch your hand away as if he’s burned you, and the interviewer can only laugh. ANNOYING!!!!! (lovingly)
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oldonemaster · 2 years
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(X)
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tezzzzza · 1 year
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What’s your favourite cheat meal? Cadbury’s chocolate.
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debbiechanclub · 9 months
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The quote you posted by Marius ... "I have lived lies. I have done it again and again. I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love."
What do you think he meant by "I cannot admit the irrationality of love"?
I must be super stupid cause I have no clue. Like is he saying he fears love? Thinks love as a sort of weakness/inconvenience? Is he having an allergic reaction to love in general?
If possible.... Can you break down the entire quote?
!!!!!! This is one of my fav Marius quotes, I’d love to talk about it.
So I noticed this actually comes up in Loustat as well, there’s a part in TVL where Lestat says his love for Louis is humiliating and I think about this a lot. I think it’s your choice if you ascribe this to Anne Rice’s own feelings and philosophy that got woven into her work, or we can also say that it’s another way that Lestat and Marius are incredibly alike. 
Lestat says “the sheer excitement was excruciating, and the love I felt for him was positively humiliating.” which has always stuck with me!!! And in Lestat’s case I think it can be read as “I love Louis so much that I will act like a fucking moron” etc. LOL. I wonder for him if it means he’s overwhelmed by it, senseless, unintelligible, etc. 
It also comes up with Akasha in QOTD: “She loved him and it humiliated her, and so she sought to hurt him. And she had.”
And speaking of humiliation, these are a couple moments where Marius mentions humiliation in Blood & Gold:
His feelings @ Mael lol -  “I was trembling with this uncharacteristic and humiliating rage.”  
When Armand is abducted by zealots (callback to Marius being abducted by zealots) - “But that was gone. All was gone. Amadeo was gone. My paintings were gone. And there came again the desperation, the bitterness, the humiliation. I had not thought that such things could be done to me. I had not thought that I could be so miserable. I had believed myself so powerful, so very clever, so very beyond this abject grief.”
This is about Pandora leaving him - “I was too distressed, too perfectly miserable. I didn't want to see her companion, and when I thought of banging on the doors of her house, I found it too utterly humiliating.”  
So I’m bringing this up because I think it’s kind of getting at the same point. And forgive me if my aromantic ass is missing something LOL but it feels like Anne often wrote about the humiliation of being vulnerable, and there's a throughline of loving people feeling vulnerable. I think it’s especially potent in a character like Marius, and again since he and Lestat are so alike it makes sense that Lestat feels that way sometimes and it came up in other books. Not to talk about Lestat too much LOL, we just have a lot of material to work with from him. I think they’re both people who have always been rebellious and with that need for independence comes the need to know things and to be self sufficient. Modern emotional health and Brene Brown will tell you that vulnerability is a GIFT but when you’re this fucked up it’s hard! It’s scary! 
Like these are also a couple other things Lestat says in TVL that illustrate this point, too, when Armand is going nuts on all the books:  “I hate those who make me feel fear, those who know things that I need to know, who have that power over me.”   and  "Every word was received by a secret, humiliating curiosity and vulnerability." 
And going back to the Marius quote! I guess the point I’m making is that Lestat and Marius are people who feel insecure when they don’t have complete self possession or control, and to me this is one of Marius’s HUGE character beats and something he’s really been struggling with for his whole life. 
The quote “I have lived lies. I have done it again and again. I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love.” is part of a bigger moment where he’s frustrated by his own anger and stubbornness. This is the whole section: 
Avicus looked directly at me. He appeared quiet in his heart and genuinely moved by my words. But what was the use? I said no more. My proud calm was suddenly broken. The anger returned along with its weakness. I remembered the hymns of the grove, and I wanted to move against Mael, for all the ugliness of it, to quite literally tear him limb from limb. Would Avicus move to save him? It was likely. But what if he did not? And what if I proved stronger than both of them, I who had drunk from the Queen? I looked at Mael. He wasn't afraid of me, which I found interesting. And my pride returned. I could not stoop to a common physical battle, especially one which might become hideously awkward and ugly, one which I might not win. No, I was too wise for it. I was too good of heart. I was Marius, who slew the Evil Doer, and this was Mael, a fool. They made to walk away through the garden and I could find no words to say to them, but Avicus turned to me and said quickly, "Farewell, Marius. I thank you and I will remember you." And I found myself struck by the words. "Farewell, Avicus," I answered. And I listened as they disappeared into the night. I sat there, feeling a crushing loneliness. I looked at my many bookcases, and at my writing table. I looked at my inkstand. I looked at the paintings on the walls. I should have tried to make peace with Mael, surely, to have Avicus as my friend. I should go after them both. I should implore them to remain with me. We had so much more to say to one another. I needed them as they needed each other. As I needed Pandora. But I lived the lie. I lived it out of anger. This is what I'm trying to tell you. I have lived lies. I have done it again and again. I live lies because I cannot endure the weakness of anger, and I cannot admit the irrationality of love. Oh, the lies that I have told myself and others. I knew it yet I didn't know.
Marius’s whole schtick is that he sort of pretends to be this wise calm collected dude and he’s actually the biggest emotional mess. He is THE pettiest bitch. And part of this is like, him sticking to his culture, trying to be ~the spirit of his age~ is trying to always come back to logic and reason. He tries to like, logic his way out of having feelings and it just doesn’t work!!!! HE HAS LIVED LIES, HE KNOWS IT DOES NOT WORK. This comes up over and over in his book, that he is frustrated with his own anger, that he ruins his relationships, that he fucks up, and when he is being irrational & emotional he doesn’t like the person he becomes. He’s humiliated at the idea that he is a person who has feelings and needs.
(See also: my fav thing to bring up but him hitting Armand for being sad lol like he’s trying to TRAIN it out of someone else even though he knows he’s living a lie.)
So this moment with Avicus, he’s like desperately lonely and WANTS Avicus’s company and friendship. He wants to be able to love Avicus. But he’s got so much fucking unresolved rage @ Mael that he can’t be around him at all and doesn’t know how to navigate his own messy emotions.
And really any time Mael shows up, as funny as it is to be like “lmao Marius is the pettiest bitch, he makes Mael sound like such a moron”, please don’t forget that Mael is the closest thing Marius has to a maker at this point. Mael is the symbol of Marius’s rape and nonconsensual turning, and his ritual sacrifice. Mael brought Marius to his own murder!!!!!!!!!! Mael is essentially his rapist.  And someone like Marius, who doesn’t know how to admit he has feelings, incessantly tries to tell himself (and everyone else) that Mael is a blundering fool instead of having to confront this extremely real hurt. 
As easy as it is to write off Marius’s bullshit as “toxic masculinity” or “man who won’t go to therapy” (which is a completely valid read LOL) it’s also very much steeped in trauma. And like, as much as I want to allow Marius a space to exist in his own world and talk about him in 360 degrees, he’s also not real. He’s a character in a book that survives the whole series as an unmoving object. Marius’s ability to heal or grow or be better is not really the point (but I do think there’s clues in canon that he can make it there; I think him in the PL trilogy is very much a New Marius!); he can survive the entire series as a table setting to represent toxic masculinity and there’s no obligation to heal. But the series asks us to spend time with monsters, to see the good in bad people, to ask if we are all our worst deeds, to ask what makes us human, and I think it’s good to take these characters seriously as wounded people making mistakes. 
The tragedy of it, too, is that Marius is just grinding ALL his emotions down in the process. He cannot allow himself to feel his own anger, and in the process of burying it, he also can’t feel love. He cannot live in this standard where it’s okay to embrace the irrationality of love but not the irrationality of anger. Throughout the whole series, every time he loses his temper and lashes out he just immediately feels humiliated for it and yet he can’t find a middle ground where he can just allow himself to feel things. And he cannot find it in himself to forgive Mael or confront these uncomfortable emotions, which means he cannot have Avicus and means he’s doomed himself to more isolation. 
Feelings are not rational! They make you act like a fool! They make you open the floodgates to other feelings you do not want to feel! 
I just think he’s such a fascinating character because like, he knows! He knows! He knows he does this! He hates himself for it! He doesn’t know how to get better! He knows he’s a fuckup! He’s lonely but if he tries to love someone it’ll destroy him!!! 
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heartshapelocket · 8 months
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D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai as Bear Smallhill
Reservation Dogs (2021-2023)
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dindjarindiaries · 2 years
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"Goodness, that light is unforgiving" SASSY OBI-WAN IS BACK
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blvestxr · 1 year
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watching the Hulk only for emil blonsky (timm)
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theandskoti · 2 years
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“I remember every night” just the love of my life before sleepin <3
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priquintana · 2 years
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bubmyg · 1 year
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okay i have a ton of shit to do if u see me back here talking abt jeongguk in the next idk six hours ur allowed to yell at me
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bluebeloved · 2 years
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i love nate so much but they made him so ugly in this photo 😭
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hansungiee · 2 years
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thevampywolf · 7 months
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When he spent like thousands of dollars on things for himself and then said he'd buy something for her and bought her an ice cream AHAHAHA
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bunnydiamond · 10 months
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Wilson
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kiksniko · 9 months
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guys. hear me out
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