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demonkidpliz · 4 years

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Things I learned while re-watching Star Plus Mahabharata (Part 11/many):

1) Kunti be like I fucked up so bad with Draupadi, I’m now banning myself from giving any advice.

2) Yay! Krishna and Kunti are meeting. My two favourite statesmen.

3) Krishna talking about parenthood with Kunti because he has so much experience being father of the universe.

4) Krishna passing through the sun and his crown glinting like the luminous Buddha 😍

5 Who’s benefit does Shakuni do all these theatrics for? Both his sister and brother-in-law are blind.

6) Arjun and Krishna are 😍

7) Kakashri Vidur is here! He does not look happy about all the polyandry.

8) Shakuni when Bhishma walks in to stop the coronation, so close!

9) Bhishma introducing himself as Shantanu’s son and calling Dhritarashtra, son.

10) Karna is such an upstart. He thinks he can challenge Bhishma?

11) Duryodhan’s hair is so damn fine.

12) Bhishma is like Ghatotkatch can’t be a Kuru but he can be my great grandson. Wtf.

13) Bhishma is like first you marry a rakshasi, then you have a half rakshas baby. Now you’re telling me all five of you have married this princess? Adharm!

14) I feel so bad for Bhishma. He loves this family so much. And it’s not even his family, technically.

15) I love Arjun so much. He always puts the women in his life front and centre. Even when everyone else is busy ignoring them.

16) Bhishma is like oh no the adharmi girl has come to talk to me.

17) Draupadi is here passing some Mjolnir test.

18) Yudhisthira making some very good points in favour of Draupadi. Where was this keen insight when she was being dragged to the court by her hair to be stripped?

19) Arjun is going to do something stupid. My spidey senses are tingling.

20) Ah Arjun finally did the stupid thing. He drew weapons in court.

21) Karan is undergoing some chemical transformation wtf. Kunti be like 👀

22) At least OG granddaddy is back on the Pandava’s side.

23) Bhishma is now rightfully pissed at Vidur for suggesting they split up their kingdom. Shakuni did not see this coming.

24) Duryodhana says this is his rashtra and he will not share it with his cousins. Apart from the fact that he sounds like a petulant child, the man’s got a point.

25) Dhritarashtra has many faults but being an indecisive little bitch tops that list.

26) Wtf why are these men even allowing themselves to be tied up and carted off like common criminals.

27) This scene is so sad. Bhim loves Panchali the most, who loves Arjun the most, who will eventually go on to love Subhadra the most.

28) Bhishma is so sexy when he’s mad. Real (grand)daddy vibes.

29) Shakuni playing the long game in order to maximise the Kurus’ sufferings.

30) Dhritarashtra playing the blind card one more time. In Starbharat, Dhritarashtra is not a good person, he is not attached to Vidur and his uncle. In most other stories he is. Here he’s smarming up to Bhishma who is stupid enough not to see through it. Or is he?

31) Draupadi is so smart. Kunti chose a good successor. Seriously with an evil uncle like Dhritarashtra, and a useless uncle like Vidur and no father, the Pandavas would have died out of it weren’t for Kunti, and later Draupadi.

32) I see. Bhishma bartered away his freedom to Dhritarashtra so that he would divide the kingdom and give one half to the Pandavas.

33) I’m so glad they showed made Arjun wearing white canon in this show. Sometimes I love Starbharat so fucking much. To be fair, I realised that even BR Chopra Mahabharat made Arjun wear white. But they took away his real name, something I can never forgive.

34) Dhritarashtra gave Yudhisthira 1 lakh cows. Score.

35) Dhritarashtra keeping Kunti captive as insurance is some A+ politicking. Shakuni is like, I’ve taught you well, Jijaji.

36) “Ek rajya de kar, Tatshri ne bohut kuch cheen liya.” Arjun. My boy. My man.

37) Bhishma: one day your city will be the capital of all of Aryavarta 😭😭 He was right!

38) Shakuni is suggesting they cuckold Yudhisthira but with a capital city?

39) Finally the Gandiva has come out. About time, Arjun. Wait, this is not the Gandiva. Nevermind.

40) Just when I’m about to lose hope, Yudhisthira comes out and shows he has brains.

41) Arjun, it’s time to meet your bio dad.

42) Takshak is also a dramatic little bitch.

43) Indra. Is. So. Extra. What is with all this lightning? Now I understand Arjun a little better.

44) Fairly certain it was Arjun AND Krishna that burnt down Khandavprastha together, thereby starting the massive deforestation process in India. But Starbharat has a way of excluding Krishna from key moments in the Pandava’s life. But not Draupadi’s.

45) Daddy is here!

46) And Arjun is so happy to see him for the first time!

47) But daddy is calling him Pandav putra :/

48) Indra: you are a boy! Arjun: I am your boy! 😍

49) Seriously though, why is Arjun such a suck up.

50) Indra (and also the rest of the world): Arjun! Stop trying to act cute!

51) The gods in heaven munching popcorn as they watch the Olympic Games between Indra and his son.

52) Oh my god the Sudarshan Chakra is here!

53) Indra is like I have PTSD from this Chakra and the person who wields it.

54) Arjun can barely contain his glee now that his bff is back.

55) Okay, I was wrong. Krishna is here.

56) Indra is like dis bitch.

57) Erm, did Arjun consult the other five before naming the capital Indraprastha?

58) Gandiva is also here!

59) Vrushali is trying to go back to Indraprastha like the girl who went out for a smoke and Karna is now the bouncer of the nightclub who won’t let her back in.

60) Kunti is here. What a boss ass bitch. Now Hastinapur will get to experience all her badassery.

61) Kunti calling Karna out on his envy of a royal crown. This is the shit I live for. Lalsa =\= kartavya.

62) Dushasan is like Kunti will run Hastinapur the way her sons order her to. Like, bro, it’s the way around.

63) Karna’s obsession with Arjun is a little...unsettling.

64) Of course with his back to the wall, Duryodhana has to play the caste card.

65) Sometimes Duryodhana and Dushasan do something so horror-movie horrifying that even Shakuni flinches and stops to take a breath. Think about Jesus.

66) Does Karna on some level know Kunti is his bio mom or does he just like to act all extra around her?

67) Kunti telling Karna that her sons have to establish themselves as independent before she can visit them. Yas, queen! She’s literally the embodiment of every helicopter Asian mom that hauled their mediocre son’s ass to greatness.

68) Oh dear, Bhim is pissed. Wait, why is Krishna STILL HERE?

69) “Spasht kahiye, Madhav.” Oh Arjun, my sweet, sweet, summer child. This is the first in a lifetime of Krishna speaking to you in riddles. My suggestion is you get on board, otherwise he’ll have to write a whole book to explain to you what is going on.

70) “Main spasht kaise keh sakta hoon, Parth?” What did I JUST SAY.

71) Is Karna…flirting?

72) Oh no, four junior Pandavas have reached Hastinapura. Hold up, Krishna is here too? Seriously, what is his issue? This is not even his business! Also, why is he always sitting in a chariot. Does he not know how to ride a horse?

73) If I had a penny for every time Karna says, “dhanush uthao, Arjun,” I would be as rich as the Kurus.

74) I am so glad Krishna has a resting bitch face.

75) Glad to see that Arjun and Krishna are now in the communicating with only glances, no words, point in their relationship.

76) Every time Krishna sees a single woman, his little matchmaker heart starts fluttering, I swear to God.

77) Of course, he knows Vrushali’s name even though no one ever mentioned it.

78) Krishna is here to outfeminist Arjun and I love it.

79) Why was the Gandiva in Draupadi’s room to begin with? This is what happens when you don’t pack properly.

80) I see Yudhishthira has already started with his chausar ways.

81) Now Draupadi is extra sad because her fav has to be in exile.

82) I mean. I feel like. Yudhisthira could have suggested once that Arjun not go for exile. But no, he is going to be all Ram Chandra about this.

83) Krishna is like, after all this, you have to…*check notes*…marry my sister.

#mahbharata #starbharat #siwt #starbharat recap #imma tag all these now

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