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sketch-shepherd · 3 years

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30 Day Ginga Challenge, but I do it all at once

Yeah fuck it, like I said in my previous post every time I try to do this new Ginga challenge I fuck up and never finish it. I think I only ever got past like Day 6 on this list but this is the only way I’m gonna finish it now lol.

As I said before... ik this isn’t the write way to do a Ginga challenge but what the hell. Prompt list created by @jersokoi

Also these are just my opinions, please don’t take them personally or as the gospel. If you’re upset by me liking/not liking something then feel free to do your own version of this challenge. It literally costs you nothing.

This is gonna be looooong so here we go

Day 1: Favorite Character Kyoushiro, excluding The Last Wars and Densetsu Noah. I know Ginga characters are rarely consistent and almost all of them end up being ruined in some way at some point but I still love Kyoushiro for his character in his debut and most parts of GDW, especially the Russian arc. You guys know me and my soft spot for “jerk with a heart of gold” characters, and Kyoushiro is just a really layered character when it comes to his backstory and his role in the story as a leader who protects abused pups.

Unfortunately like many I’m not fond of the way Teru’s dad’s redemption was handled and how Kyoushiro agreed with Weed straight up bullying Teru into having to forgive his abusive father for no other reason than “He’s your dad no matter how bad he was to you!” yada yada (something we rewrote/removed in our dub if that counts). And I’m not even gonna get started on his Jyoushiro persona in GDN.

But Kyoushiro still holds a special place in my heart. I stanned him a lot as a kid because I literally saw myself in him back then, and honestly still might do now. Other runner-ups for this spot include Riki, Orion, and Tesshin. Day 2: Favorite Pack/Clan The Koga clan! I know I’m just being a basic bitch with this one but I honestly don’t think this prompt needs a lot of thought put into it. I love the breed designs, the major characters like Kurojaki and Tesshin, their backstory, the entire Iga/Koga arc pretty much, and how they go from minor villains in GNG to the Ohu army’s allies in GDW and onwards. They have such a cool aesthetic and they’re all just very memorable. They’re fun to design and have a lot of interesting story potential when it comes to making Koga OC’s lol.

My second favorite would probably be the Russian dogs.

Day 3: Favorite Leader/Platoon Leader Riki, no contest. He’s such a simple character who’s a fatherly figure to everyone including Gin, despite not even remembering him as his son for most of the series. He’s compassionate, determined, and has such a warm and understanding personality and only does the best for his soldiers and his home. There’s a reason he’s such an iconic character.

Day 4: Favorite Villain Kaibutsu, another character I’ve talked a lot about before just for how sympathetic he is and how he’s a subversion of most giant monster villains. While his tragic backstory and broken friendship with Jerome does seem a bit more one-sided than I felt it did before, I can understand the intent to try and make him a sympathetic but also irredeemable villain, and he delivers that pretty well when it comes to his story and his scare factor.

My other favorite villains include Kurojaki and Masamune.

Day 5: Emotional Scene Oh boy this is a hard one. For a scene that isn’t a death scene... I really love Ben and Cross’ conversation in GNG episode 18 before he went off to fight Sniper. The music, Ben and Cross’ exchange where neither of them knew if Ben was going to die, and the raw ass quote “I’m not going out there to die; I’m going their for the sake of my honor”, such a powerful scene between a parting husband and wife.

Other emotional scenes I considered putting here are Tesshin delivering Gin’s speech in GDW episode 15 and Gin and Daisuke parting ways in GNG episode 8 and 21

Day 6: Favorite Scene Again, this is just one of many but I’ll have to go with the extremely iconic scene of Akame burning down the Iga Manor. In concept a lot of people have found it hard to take seriously since the entire feud hangs on dogs trying to retrieve century-old messages they can’t even read for their human masters that already died out long ago. But the weight and the characterization just somehow makes it work in execution, and it still manages to be an emotional albeit campy scene.

Day 7: Character you wish had more screentime Koshiro, the infamous member of the Ginga Hall of Mysteriously Disappeared Characters. Sucks that his last moments were him getting fucking beaten up by his asshole dad. Also Nobutora and Harutora who barely even have any LINES for all their appearances. They’re literally Kurotora’s sons too for fuck’s sake, why is it only Kagetora who has to have all the fun? Day 8: Favorite Parent I already mentioned Riki so I’ll put down my second favorite parental character in Ginga- Cross! She’s a simple doting mom and reasonable authority figure as well as a surrogate parent to other puppies, and she can go from sweet and nurturing to sassy as hell. What’s not to love?

My other favorite parents/parental figures would include GB, Moss, Jerome, Lydia, Izou, and Terumune Day 9: Least favorite Parent Fuckin WEED. The reason I put him over more obvious characters such as Kamakiri or Teru’s dad is because those guys are fucking villains so no surprise comes out of them being abusive shitty parents. Weed on the other hand is supposed to be one of the protagonists for fuck’s sake, yet his only kid he gives a damn about his Sirius, he straight-up lied and said that Kamakiri aka the invader who killed his own fellow soldier’s father was actually a brave soldier who died nobly just to make Akakama aka another villain happy, and everyone just blindly stands by and does nothing as he’s beating the shit out and banishing Orion for wanting to help Izou avenge his family that Masamune fucking slaughtered. This. fucker. literally. picked a goddamn serial killer over his own SON. Yeah... doesn’t help that as much as I love Gin all he ever did was constantly enable Weed’s behavior. You can say that he didn’t have Riki to show him how to be a good parent but it’s not like there weren’t other fathers in the Ohu army like Ben or Moss who could have showed Gin the ropes. Also fuck Joe, couldn’t talk about shitty Ginga parents without bringing him up too Day 10: Favorite Human Daisuke, though tbh not like I had much competition for this one lmao. I know the fandom likes to ignore him because “hnnn human boring give us more doggos” or because he takes away the focus from Gin in the first eight episodes of the anime. I beg to differ, since I think he has decent characterization and development, along with an important role as Gin’s childhood friend and helper towards the dogs in GDW and the later manga series.

Hidetoshi is too much of a hypocrite for me to like, going from John’s hunting partner to mercilessly wanting to shoot him and having no qualms about killing Daisuke’s childhood dog friend either. Gohei... he’s neither my favorite character NOR do I hate him AS much as some other people do, I just blame it on Gohei being a very culturally outdated character even though he has his moments. But Daisuke is by far the most consistent human character, and he’s a genuinely likable and helpful person Day 11: Least Favorite Character *DEEP BREATH* Fuck, you guys know I’m obviously going to say Sirius so let’s keep my explanation for him brief. He’s obnoxiously preachy, thoughtless, selfish, and has an ego and mesiah/superiority complex bigger than fucking Akakabuto himself. Literally all the reasons people hate Weed’s overly merciful nature but fucking WORSE. Let’s see, he puts all the fucking blame on the Ohu army and makes THEM the bad guys for rightfully wanting to axe off his boyfriend Monsoon, whom may I reiterate, is a fucking psychopath who tortures and eats helpless puppies, has repeatedly injured and emotionally abused Bob his whole fucking life, literally wanted the Ohu army to farm their own fellow dogs to be his food, and shows ZERO REMORSE for any of this shit and ONLY ever shows kindness towards Sirius and none of the fucking dogs he’s actually hurt.

And once again... we are supposed to see Sirius as some fucking hero where all he did was screw everyone over and tell them that he’s right and they’re all wrong. Even back in GDWO he was just annoying and whiny half the time and preferred hanging around with the Kamakiri brothers over his own family. Little blueberry shitstain deserved to die and I have no sympathy for his self righteous ass.

Other characters I can’t fucking stand also include Monsoon, Yukimura, Koyuki, Weed, Shion, Jyoushiro, and the Aka’ari.

Day 12: Most heroic moment hhhhhh this was hard to pick from ngl, so I’m gonna talk about the top three that came to mind. First one would probably be GB tricking Hougen’s soldiers in GDW episode 19 by pretending to be one of them to the point where he found out where they were keeping Gin. For a character that started off as cowardly and insecure, this was a huge step in GB’s character development and a great way to show GB making good use of himself in battle in an unexpected way.

Second would be Reika tricking Hougen and throwing him into the river in GDW episode 24, for all the obvious reasons. It’s a rare empowering moment for a Ginga female character in the series who tries to put up a fight even though she doesn’t succeed. Reika already has a more interesting personality and useful role than most of the other boring females and this moment wasn’t an asspull at making her more empowering in ONE scene and then just instantly forgetting about it by having her constantly cry over shit afterwards COUGHKOYUKICOUGH so this was also a very heroic turning point for her character

Third that comes to mind is the iconic moment of Riki protecting a newborn Gin form Akakabuto in literally the first episode. I know everything Riki does could be considered heroic but it’d be wrong of me not to talk about this scene in particular. We have a dad putting his life on the line for his son he literally JUST MET I’m not sure what more you could ask for really

Day 13: Favorite Quote ”I’M WEED, THE SON OF GIN! FUCK YOU KAIBUTSU, IT ENDS HERE!” from episode 3 of the GDW English fandub, next.

Nah jk. I do have a few favorite quotes from both the mangas and the animes. I’m not gonna write them out word for word since the translation constantly changes. Instead I’m just gonna write out the scenes where they were stated and explain the context so here goes: - Kurojaki’s last words bragging about mission to his deceased masters before he commits suicide - Ben and Cross’ conversation before Ben goes off to fight Sniper, as previously stated - Riki’s “that blood won’t be ours” speech to the Ohu army in episode 17 - Gohei tearfully refusing to give Riki an audience during his death, and also praising the dogs for accomplishing what the humans couldn’t - Kyoushiro telling Weed to let out his feelings and cry in the GDW manga - Tesshin delivering Gin’s speech at the hot springs in the GDW anime - Gin praising Maxim and Lydia for instead choosing to fight for Ohu in the Russian arc - Orion also telling Yamabiko it’s okay to cry - also every fucking quote in The First Wars. Because TFW is awesome. Day 14: Favorite Character Design That’s a bit of a hard one but after some thinking I decided on Fuji, Lenny, Lucy, Bellatrix, and Kamakiri’s mate solely because they’re some of the few female characters I can name don’t have boring white coats and hyper-feminine features like most of the other female Ginga characters do (Even as much as I love Cross as a character it was obvious a saluki was chosen for her breed for her long girly hair. And Lydia despite also being my favorite female character in the entire Ginga franchise has such a BLAND design that makes her stick out like a sore thumb, you can barely tell she’s supposed to be a German Shepherd among the other normal-looking GSD in the Russian army), though it seems like the other default color when females aren’t white is brown/red like Chako and Reika lmao.

I just like the down-to-earth designs for Fuji, Lenny, and Lucy for how they resemble their normal breeds, Bellatrix for being the only female tora-ge in the series even though Yoshi doesn’t do jack with her character (I only count her First Wars counterpart as canon), and Kamakiri’s mate for having such an unusual mutt design you can’t tell the breed of.

I also enjoy Aram’s absolute nightmare fuel design, as well as Kaibutsu’s. Day 15: Favorite Breed Design Once again, the Kogas lmao. Just because of how weird and funky they look. There’s just so many different ways to design them since they are a fictional breed; even in canon no two (non-background) Kogas look alike when you take other manga like Densetsu Akame into account.

I also like the designs of the huskies- the Mutsu brothers, Kisaragi’s sons, all of them have such varied color and markings, some of them looking like normal huskies and others looking weird and unnatural, the diversity is fun to look at.

Even for how weird the wolves look in the equally weird wolf arc, a few of them do have neat and creative designs that make them stand out. Day 16: Favorite Death Scene Good god don’t make me choose... but if I have to, my top three are John’s, Benizakura’s, and Toube’s. John’s death makes everyone cry like a fucking baby for all the obvious reasons. He was a character we all knew and loved in GNG and seeing him go out with such a prideful death scene that shows how far he had come as a character really fuckin hurts.

Benizakura we knew for an even shorter time but the audience really grew to love his benevolent and energetic personality so it’s also heartbreaking to see him sacrifice his life so soon. His parting was so epic that it really just broke the boundaries of realism so that his blood droplets could form the shape of a cherry blossom in the water to honor him

Toube is one that I feel people don’t talk about much, but I still think his death scene was really powerful considering how prideful he was in his last moments much like John. I always found him an underrated character (more on that later) who played the “redemption equals death” trope in a really powerful way. Plus that image of him standing up frozen to death in the sunlight is really haunting.

Other deceased characters that would be wrong for me NOT to mention would include Akatora, Riki, Kurojaki, Hyena no GDN doesn’t exist, and Aram. Day 17: Least Favorite Death Scene Ben, no doubt. It especially doesn’t help that after being a mostly useless senile fool in the GDW manga he’d go out with such a boring, unceremonious death. Half the time I literally forget Ben even died of old age. Also it’s just really cheapened by the fact that most GNG veterans live to the ridiculous old age of over 20 years, so just goes to show that realism doesn’t make a story better. It just makes it inconsistent.

Also GB, Hiro, Lydia, Jaguar, Musashi, and Tama... though these are more out of me being petty over my attachment to these characters. However I still thought their deaths were pretty pointless and hardly contributed story-wise or character-wise. Also Sirius and Monsoon’s because it’s really framed like it’s such an emotional heartbreaking scene of two friends/lovers dying while facing each other even though you literally couldn’t PAY me to be remotely sad that these clowns are dead. Day 18: Favorite Arc For GNG, the Iga/Koga arc I’ve already discussed for reasons above as well as the Shikoku/fighting dog arc. I really love the setting and backgrounds of Shikoku, and it’s a great introduction to great characters like Musashi and Benizakura, with some room for character development and emotional moments as well.

For GDW, the Russian arc as long as I forget that fuckin Weed and Koyuki exist. We’ve got intimidating villains in the form of Viktor and the invaders, some engaging redemption arcs with Lydia, Maxim, and Aram, a lot of heartfelt moments such as the death scenes of Hakuro and Moss or Daisuke calling out to Gin in the canyon, and other characters such as Gin and Kyoushiro having their strong points in battle. Too bad a lot of it is roped with Weed and Koyuki’s gross Oedipus complex romance and other characters literally having to force Weed to stop flirting and being a shitty irresponsible leader.

Day 19: Underrated Character The aforementioned Toube. Yeah, kind of surprised I don’t see a lot of people talking about him when it comes to the famous character death scenes nor does he get a ton of fanart and stuff. I guess in hindsight his role and death are a bit similar to Terry but, idk... I feel Toube had something more going for him. He actually got a proper introduction, backstory with Musashi, catalyst to start changing sides, and contributing role in actively saving Gin in the GDW anime. His arc was really well done and I always thought it deserved more recognition.

Also in terms of more minor characters that somehow don’t reach “ensemble darkhorse” status in the Ginga fandom... Pepe! How can you not love this cute little monkey ffs? He’s such a simple character who has an adorable friendship with the Ohu soldiers and sympathetic side when it comes to him losing his parents and being a victim of Yukimura’s sadism. Also he’s not without his character development when he tries to fight off Shogun. Pepe is a good monke and I luv him

Day 20: Favorite Character Development *thinks hard* Hyena. Not much I can say about Hyena’s character that others haven’t before. It was easy to just make him a sniveling weasel of a villain sidekick but once again he was a surprising subversion of that trope. His development was gradual and he didn’t earn the Ohu army’s trust right away, but he did prove himself on multiple occasions and had an honorable death scene. Once again, he stayed dead as far as I’m concerned. Also GB, because why not? Another simple character who starts off as a wimp and then grows into Weed’s foster father, an Ohu soldier, clever battle strategist, and hill-area-ass slapstick comic relief in the manga. Such an enjoyable dork who changes for the better over the course of the series.

Other choices include Lydia, Maxim, Aram, and Masashige Day 21: Something you would change in the series Something aside from obvious shit like the sexism, outdated cultural morals, glorification of abuse, and characters constantly being derailed left and right? ...maybe not write so many goddamn arcs and characters I guess?

The GNG wolf arc didn’t need to exist. Yoshi literally didn’t even wanna write it but executive meddling demanded more Ginga from him. GDW is the longest series by far in which it spans exactly 60 volumes, but I frankly find the hybrid bear arc to be one of the most boring and repetitive arc. All I remember is that it introduces Joe but was there really no other previous volume where you could have introduced Weed’s second long-lost brother?

GDWO is... a LOT to take in. I know that unlike the previous series it’s balancing out like five different story arcs for each of Weed’s kids as well as the Ohu army so it can be hard to keep track of everyone but come on. Do characters like Gennai and Tenka need to exist? I hardly remember Rigel’s arc except for the fact that he was just there when Terumune got killed. Since Yoshi insists on making Bella as useless as possible why not combine hers with Rigel or something? And Andy literally has no reason to exist aside from being a baby John replacement.

Christ even as much as I despise TLW and GDN, I STILL felt GDN had the potential to be an interesting series if it was JUST a short story about Hyenoah helping Orion deal with his trauma from the events of TLW instead of bringing more pointless big bad villains who wanna fuck up Ohu for the billionth time, lame character death retcon not withstanding

Day 22: Favorite Introduction Scene Frickin HIRO, what more can I say lmao. You can name literally no other anime where a character is introduced literally by ripping a bad guy’s balls off. The dark humor from Hiro’s sheer non-chalantness just gives you one hell of a first impression Day 23: Favorite Relationship This is also gonna be a long list, shit. I don’t think I really need explanations for these since they’re all for the same reason in which the characters have a strong, healthy bond regardless of whether it’s between friends, parent/child, student/teacher, etc... So here goes:

- Gin and John - Gin and Smith - Gin and Riki - Gin and Daisuke - Moss and Tesshin (and any puppies he’s doted over really) - Weed and Smith - Kyoushiro and Teru - Pepe and the Ohu army - Orion and Izou - Orion and Yamabiko - Rigel and Andy (despite my previous complaint about Andy being a very bland character his friendship with Rigel is cute in the way it’s supposed to parallel John and Gin) Day 24: Favorite series/adaptation Kinda funny how to this day I still don’t really have a favorite series. When I was younger it was definitely GDW, but nowadays I feel like even though Ginga as a whole is objectively problematic, each series seems to have its own strengths and weaknesses so I honestly can’t pick.

I can say that GNG has the fewest problems in terms of story and a lack of character derailment, but GDW also has its fair share of strong scenes and characters and I like a lot of them more than the GNG characters. Fuck, even GDWO even though it’s more of a clusterfuck has a large number of interesting characters to keep me engaged, so I really can’t just pick one.

But in terms of consistently good writing, characters, and plotlines? The First Wars lmao

Day 25: Character you relate to the most Oof, now I actually have to EXPLAIN why I said I related to Kyoushiro before ok. As a kid, I was in my massive angst/hormonal phase during the time I started watching Ginga so I just liked that Kyoushiro was an angry lil shit like me lolz

Real talk, as an adult I can relate to Kyoushiro when it comes to dealing with shitty people in my life. Obviously I don’t go throwing my online/irl enemies off cliffs and shit but I do strongly believe bad things should happen to bad people and I can fucking tell when abusers are genuinely remorseful or if they just wanna quick way to get out of trouble. But I also feel like I’ve learned to set boundaries, much like Kyoushiro taking time to decide if Teru’s abusive dad should be killed or not, or when he chose not to kill Buruge when he asked him to put him out of his humiliation. Also I still have anger issues and a pretty short temper, something I’ve still retained when it comes to how much of myself I see in Kyoushiro.

I know I got kinda creepy by talking a lot about myself there but that’s just my genuine explanation on why I relate to this angsty scarred dog so much lmao. At least before he completely abandoned his own morals and decided “teehee nevermind abused children should definitely forgive their abusive parents”

Day 26: Favorite Couple (canon or not) Ben x Cross duh. It was pretty clear they were an established couple when they were first introduced but they work together so well. Their chemistry, their their dialogue, and how much they believe in and support each other, ugh... they’re just such a strong pair

My other favorite ships include Jerome x Lydia, Hiro x Reika, and Orion x Yamabiko. Day 27: Favorite Fight Probably would be a bit cliche if I just put the bigass kaiju battles like Akakabuto and Kaibutsu, so I’m gonna say the fight between various GDW characters and three of Hougen’s generals in the anime- Kyoushiro vs Buruge, Tesshin vs Kite, and Ken/Kagetora vs Bat.

I liked the addition in the GDW anime of Hougen’s generals having their own special abilities that the Ohu army had to overcome in unique ways. Ken and Kagetora synchronizing their attacks to evade Bat’s Mind’s Eye, Tesshin being in his element and using his ninja skills to trap Kite when he couldn’t dent his prosthetic legs, and Kyoushiro giving himself the confidence to beat Buruge enough so that he can’t use his weird resurrection attack on him.

Even though most of the changes the GDW anime did from the manga were shit and counterintuitive, this was one of the few adaptational changes that worked. It was a really nonconventional combat between characters that was solved in unique ways and gave various characters time to shine.

Day 28: Favorite Technique/Fighting style The Zetsu Tenrou Battouga, no doubt. It’s definitely the most commonly used attack in the series and for that reason it’s just that memorable. Even the other wack Battougas in the wolf arc are somewhat interesting in concept and their different variations. Also you can’t go wrong with Kyoushiro’s grave-digging attack either

Day 29: Overrated character This was originally “favorite arc” but that was already a prompt for Day 18 so I made my own lmao. But yeah, for this one I’m gonna say Yukimura. I probably just made most of Gingaboard hate me but I’m sorry I just don’t get the appeal of this guy to the point where people literally compare him to Riki whom he’s nothing like. Yeah a lot of people say he had the potential to be a good foil to Weed’s pacifist personality but sorry sweetie the execution of that potential don’t reconcile

He’s basically just Kyoushiro if Kyoushiro enjoyed attacking innocent parents who didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah I get that being attacked by monkeys at a young age was a traumatic experience for him but that doesn’t excuse him being an absolute fucking monster with a monkey hateboner, literally to the point where he tried to force literal CHILDREN to kill an innocent baby monkey, starting with FEEDING THE MEAT OF PEPE’S DEAD PARENTS TO THOSE PUPPIES.

Oh and what makes this worse? Yukimura shows little to no remorse over this. Literally when Jerome is chewing out Yukimura for how fucked in the head he is he just responds with “We were just killing monkeys, so what?” almost word for word.

And his redemption in learning not all monkeys are bad was lame and half-assed, also not sorry. If you’re going to redeem a character give us a REASON we’d WANT to see the character redeemed. Going from an infanticidal monkey-hating psycopath to siding with the monkeys isn’t character development, it’s just lazy writing. Day 30: Favorite Thing About The Series The sheer corniness of it all. It’s just dogs killing shit. That’s literally my aesthetic when it comes to animal xenofiction. Yet you also got literal ninja dogs that carry weapons and dogs that repeatedly front-flip to decapitate bears. It’s fucking great.

There are a lot of factors on why I fixate over stupid poorly drawn dogs fighting so much. A lot of it probably comes from my nostalgia obsessing over this series as a child and another part comes from the charm of the simple premise that offers a lot of room for interesting storytelling.

I know objectively GInga as a whole is... not that good and super problematic, but there’s just some stupid charm about the whole thing that draws people in at almost any age. Ginga is flawed as HELL but there’s also just so many iconic characters, story arcs, and the like so sometimes it’s just a series where you gotta turn off your brain to enjoy it.

Ginga is simultaneously the best and the worst thing of all time and it’s my comfort series, thank you for coming to my TED talk

#I'M DONE #i literally started lagging my computer because this was getting long #but i love analyzing my stupid fictional japanese dogs #that's one thing i can put energy into for hours on end #sketch text #ginga

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soft-boi-eli · 3 years

Note

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

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persephone-plasmids · 3 years

Text

You know what I need in my life? Female Sole Survivor and the companions trying to have a super serious meeting about saving The Commonwealth... but over Zoom.

Everyone would worry about Deacon’s sanity because he’d tape a bunch of spoons to his head and try to convince them that he was actually Codsworth.

Codsworth would be very disturbed by this imposter.

Preston would keep trying to take control of the screen to remind Sole about that settlement that needs their help.

Piper would be doing Sudoku the whole time because she thinks this meeting could have been an email. She’s right.

Hancock would be high as a kite and showing off the friendship bracelets he made for everyone.

Cait wouldn’t say a word. She’d just be sharpening a knife and staring straight into the camera to wordlessly tell everyone how much she hates Zoom meetings.

Danse would be super attentive and would definitely be in either full power armor, or a literal suit and tie even though he’s just at home.

Dogmeat’s camera would just be his nose trying to sniff everyone through the computer.

MacCready wouldn’t be paying attention because he’d have Duncan on his lap asking who everyone is.

Nick would be trying to help Sole keep everyone on track but would probably get frustrated and end up just being sassy.

Curie would just be a good girl, offering her help whenever she could.

And Sole would be the long-suffering babysitter, rubbing her temple against a migraine.

Also, Strong isn’t there because he smashed his computer once the internet started lagging.

I have no artistic ability. But artists of Tumblr, if anyone could make this happen, I would die of happiness.

#fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout headcanons #fo4 headcanons #fallout 4 headcanons #fallout companions #fallout 4 companions #curie #danse #hancock #preston garvey #cait #piper wright #sole survivor #deacon

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mojwisungie · 3 years

Text

hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?”

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

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cyberloops · 3 years

Audio

I think it’s not just pandemic fatigue that’s been making it hard for me to work lately. I think I’ve been feeling disconnected from my music. I keep sitting down with a guitar or at my keyboard and noodling around. Lately I just haven’t been able to sit down and open up Acid or any other DAW and start fiddling around in there.

I was thinking about using my stimulus money to finally take the plunge and actually buy some equipment. Up until now the only real equipment I’ve bought are things like keyboards that plug into computers that I already own, and software to do things with it. But there’s a disconnect. There’s a layer of abstraction between me and the sounds I’m making.

I tried to see if I could solve that by making my own digital synths, so I downloaded Synthedit and played around with it a while back... but all it really did was make me want to get into making actual modular synths, not just emulating them. And in the long run, that’s a hell of a deep rabbit hole for me to fall into, both in terms of time, space in my house, and money.

I’ve spent most of my life on the edge of poverty, so the idea of just... spending money on something that I want is completely foreign to me. I know in my head that I have the money. It’s there to be spent. I can afford it. I can’t afford actual vintage synths, of course, those are way too *&%ing expensive. I also don’t have much space in the house, since both my spouse and I had to set up an office in the house during the pandemic. The space on my desk next to my computer keyboard where I was going to put my small MIDI keyboard is now taken up by my work computer. The room that was supposed to become half art studio for my spouse and half recording studio for me is now half office, and the drawing table and the spare desk that were supposed to be for our personal use are shoved in the corners. So whatever I buy will have to be small.

But the last couple of days I’ve been looking at what’s there. Looking at what’s within my price range. I don’t expect to spend thousands on a modular synth right off the bat, hell, I’d barely know what to do with it. But I think I can afford a small setup. Something that I don’t have to boot up and start a program and fight with audio drivers to use. Something that I don’t have to stop playing, go back, listen to the track, and click with a mouse to add points where I want to raise or lower one single attribute at a time.

I think if I start with a couple of cheap Behringer analog clones, I can at least get some bass and drums for pretty cheap, then figure out what else I want from there. It looks like the TR-3 and RD-6 are coming out in new colors, so I can even get them in purple. (which is generally the first question I have when I’m deciding whether to get something. Does it come in purple?) A decent synth that can do polyphony for chords will be a little difficult to find in my price range, I might have to settle for something like the Yamaha CS or DX Reface for that. (Yes, I know that the Korg Volca FM is half the price, and is a great imitation of the DX... but it only has 3 note polyphony. I like having the option to make richer chords, or to have a solo or bass line in the same instrument going while I do chords with the other hand.) And I definitely want at least one decent analog synth, but anything within my price range is only going to be monophonic, or like the Korg Volca line, they won’t have enough polyphony to do more than three note chords. The only decent ones that are polyphonic are generally over 300 dollars, and even with the stimulus money, I’m not sure I can justify spending that much on something that will likely not earn me any real money. And on top of everything else, just getting a decent multi-track recorder will probably cost as much, if not more, than a small synth. Most of the ones that are under 300 dollars will only record two tracks at a time, which won’t work well if I’m trying to hook up 3-4 synths and maybe a microphone. I’ve got a few spare speakers around the house that I could probably use as a monitor, so at least I’ve got that covered. (I hope. I haven’t actually plugged any of those speakers into anything in years, who knows what condition they’re in?)

On top of all of that, my spouse is trying to find an excuse to actually use the art table, and so we’re thinking about also using their half of our stimulus money to get a couple of webcams to stream video of them doing art. So if I do set up a small live synth studio in the desk in that room, we can stream together, with me making music on one screen, and my spouse drawing on another.

Over the last decade or so, I’ve been so afraid to actually spend any money. And for probably 8 out of those last 10 years, for good reason. I genuinely couldn't afford to. I only have an electric guitar because it went on sale and was incredibly cheap. I only have an effects pedal for it because I got lucky and found a halfway decent one that had multiple functions on sale used. I only have a full sized MIDI keyboard because my spouse gave it to me as a combined birthday/christmas present. But not being able to spend money just to survive meant that I couldn’t afford to get the things that I need in order to really live, and not just survive. I need musical instruments that I can touch and feel and use. But I think right now I also need to set up a spreadsheet and figure out what I can actually afford.

... anyway, I realized I got to the end of this huge rant and never mentioned anything about the piece I just uploaded. Short version - I was trying to use digital instruments similar to the sort of things I was looking at buying, and seeing what kind of music I could make by just quickly working up a sound and a couple simple loops for them. So one of the basses is just a pretty generic synth that happens to have a sequencer that is similar to some of the analog synths I was looking at. The other is a digital clone of the TB-303, which is also similar to one of the synths I was looking at. I only used one drum machine synth on this one, since I can’t justify buying more than one when I start this physical setup. And the solo, chords, and arpeggios were all using similar sorts of synths to the real ones I’ve been looking at and researching online lately. All of the loops that I would have put into a sequencer while using a physical synth setup were the ones that I went into the MIDI files and manually quantized everything to match exactly what I would have done with a sequencer. For the solo lines and a few other sections I only fiddled with the MIDI timing enough to fix any errors due to input lag. And I tried to throw in a few tweaks to the synth settings on the fly like playing with the filter or whatnot, y’know, the kind of thing that I’d literally be able to do with one hand while I’m playing with the other if these synths were actually sitting on the desk in front of me. But of course I had to actually do those afterward with the mouse, since I didn’t have the actual synths in front of me, with actual knobs and sliders that I could touch.

#synth #synthwave #retro #retrowave #cyberpunk #cyberpunk music #cyberpunk soundtrack #synthesizer #music blog #synthpop #should i actually do it #should i bite the bullet #vaporwave #cyberpunk aesthetic #aesthetic #synthwave aesthetic #retrowave aesthetic

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sadachmesarthim · 3 years

Note

C-cowboy starker? What if cowboy starker, I mean? I think... cattle driver Tony maybe, and ranch hand Peter,,, always wanted to write about this but I’m shy 🙈

mid-writing edit: i’ve spent half an hour on this and my computer is literally lagging with how fast i’m typing. i really hope this makes sense because holy shit, i love cowboy starker. anon, i need you in my inbox every single fucking time you have an idea about starker. idk if it’s in passing, idk if it’s super fleeting and doesn’t make sense. anon, you are my muse

ohhhhh my god anon i ,, love this idea so much i’ve actually thought about this a bit ngl you don’t even know how much i like western aus

okay so hear me out:

i’m thinking brokeback type shit, right?? but just a tad different like be honest who doesn’t like the whole bbm trope yfm and twink jake gyllenhaal is my baby okay okay okay sorry babe i’m still crossfaded as fuck and i could talk about that movie for days anyway back on topic

- no okay but think of it - tony, he’s recently divorced and morgan, his baby girl, his one and only daughter, she’s 19 now and seeing this absolute gentleman of a roughneck. his house is empty, he isn’t paying child support anymore, he doesn’t have this bitchy redhead on his ass 24/7 about getting a job in the city

- because tony hates the city, hates that his father dragged them away from the mountains and prairies he remembers from his childhood. hates what the city gave him - black eyes and mean names and disappointed parents

- so tony high tailed it the fuck out of dodge the second he turned 18. abandoned school, abandoned his family, took his beat up ford out to montana and disappeared. married this nice girl, virginia pepper, worked construction to support her while she went to school. had a pretty baby girl a year or two later. moved both of his girls out to a ranch he bought with their tiny savings, got a couple’a cows and a horse and made friends with a neighbor with a bull

- but eventually, pep had bigger dreams. they were both young when they got married, didn’t look past the immediate sexual compatibility to see that their futures were well and truly not going to go well together

- so she left the ranch, took morgan with, and made her way to the city. became some big lawyer or doctor or businesswoman or something, tony didn’t know. didn’t really care because the child support invoices still came every single month like clockwork.

- so instead of focusing on his distant daughter and his ex wife that wouldn’t listen to him and his family that just... didn’t understand, he threw himself into the wildlife around him

- became closer with those neighbors that had a bull. eventually came to an agreement and let him free with his girls

- built a very solid herd of highlanders in a handful of years, slowly attracting the attention of more and more owners wanting to trade, to buy, to sell

- and maybe one year, he realizes, he’s in a bit too far over his head with this. he has 100 of these four legged fuckers, he has 50 acres to take care of by himself, he has horses to feed and shoe and groom. he has fields to plant and water and harvest if he wants to feed any of the animals mentioned above

- so he reaches out to his neighbors, puts feelers out and sees if anyone knows a farmhand who’d want to help him out, maybe live on the property full time for a bit. and when he gets a call back his heart breaks a bit, because oh my god he wasn’t prepared for this

- a kid, can’t have been more than morgan’s age, has responded to him, and he’s good with his hands mr. stark, and he knows his way around animals mr. stark, been takin’ care of ‘em for his whole life now mr. stark

- and this kid is ,, he sounds so innocent and sweet there’s no way tony’s gonna say yes before he actually meets him

- so tony gives the kid his address, tells him to come out and give things a once over before he makes his mind up

- so peter does. he comes out, introduces himself, looks around the property with tony. and tonys heart hurts, because this kid, this kid that’s standing right in front of him, is almost skin and bones and looks like he’s about to crumble into dust and blow away in his hands

- he brings peter into the house, brings him coffee, offers him food. even after peter politely declines he brings over some bread to share, maybe a slice of pie?? maybe tony can cook and bake. he has a sweet tooth after all, and he’s been on his own for the better part of two decades.

- and he really gets to know peter. they sit, they talk, until the sun dips down and the open mountain chill takes over them

- and peter tells him that he’s been on his own for a couple of years, that his parents died when he was young and that his aunt and uncle took him in on their ranch. that he grew up around animals, working, helping out

- but when they died the property was repossessed by the bank and peter’d all but ran with ben’s keys and the clothes on his back. he’s been on the road ever since, going from missouri to texas to wyoming to montana, all in search of work, never staying in one place longer than a few months.

- he doesn’t tell tony that he’s secretly so, so tired of life on the road. doesn’t say how elated he was when he heard someone was looking for a fairly long-term live in farm hand. because that’s something he knew, something he was good at.

- he also doesn’t tell tony that his heart skipped several beats in a row the second peter laid eyes on him, and that he really wants to work for the gorgeous man in front of him

- it’s finally dark, his coffee cup is long empty and abandoned and peter’s just spilled nearly every single deep dark secret he’s ever had. tony’s closing the windows, and peter makes for the door. he’s taken up enough of this beautiful kind man’s time, he should leave before he stays even further past his welcome

- but tony’s stopping him, blocking him from the door, lightly grabbing his wrist and turning peter to face him fully

- and he’s asking begging pleading telling peter he should stay, that the spare room upstairs is warm and not going to be used anytime soon. that he still needs a farmhand and, as he sees it, peter’s already here

- secretly, tony can’t stand to see him leave

- he couldn’t handle letting his man this... kid, really, leave. not when tony could provide for him. not when he could feed him until his edges soften and his cheeks round out and his tummy gets squishy. not when he could work him into a sweat outside, watch that paperwhite skin turn a rich tan under the summer sun

- not even when he realizes the sudden care for the orphan in front of him is slowly becoming less familial, less platonic, and more... instinctual. base. greedy.

- because who better to make sure this kid is looked after than tony? tony, who has work-worn hands and time-softened eyes and cooking skills any bachelor would die for

- it’s honestly not even that shocking to him when peter says yes

- not when he takes his hand off the doorknob and immediately turns, immediately breathes out a “yes, yes of course mr. stark, thank you so much mr. stark, i’ll do whatever you need me to, you’re incredible mr. stark”

- and it all immediately goes to tony’s dick head because fuck, that was not the intended reaction but it was absolutely welcome, what the fuck

- so tony takes him upstairs, gets peter settled in the guest bedroom right across from his own

- and when he goes to bed that night he absolutely does not touch himself while thinking about the barely 20something thats maybe 10 feet away. doesn’t think about what peter said earlier, with tony’s hand wrapped around his wrist

- absolutely doesn’t cum with peter’s name on his lips, biting down on his knuckles so peter doesn’t hear

- and peter absolutely doesn’t cum with three fingers in his ass, tears streaming down his face, listening to the creaking mattress springs and heavy breathing from across the hall. of course he doesn’t

- and of course they don’t get along well. of course not. of course they don’t work together like they’re telepathically connected, not even needing to speak to know what the other is thinking. it’s like peter can read his mind, knowing exactly what needs done when

- but it’s not just tony. peter can tell before anyone else when the farrier needs to be called. when one of the girls is pregnant, even before she starts showing. knows when one of the cattle dogs has a hurt paw without even seeing him. can tell when it’s going to rain, so he knows whether or not it’ll be a good day to cut the alfalfa fields

- it’s a little freaky to be honest but tony doesn’t hate it. it’s really useful with everything on the farm, and it’s... it’s nice. having someone that can so effortlessly understand him.

- it’s also like peters... totally unaware of it. like he doesn’t even know he knows things he shouldnt know. which blows tony’s mind even more.

- it kinda turns him on, and he finds himself with his hand around his cock wondering if peter knows he’s getting off thinking about him. like, more than once. maybe even more than once a week. definitely more than once a week.

- and maybe peters kind of catching on, a little. that maybe his feelings toward his employer/landlord/new friend are shared

- it also doesn’t help that he gets uncontrollably aroused every time tony goes to bed. like. every... single... time...

- peter always knew he was.. attentive. but he didn’t know it would manifest as literally feeling tony’s arousal through the fucking walls

- and it doesn’t help that peter’s filling out. he’s getting darker as the months get warmer, he’s getting significantly more meat on his bones now that he’s eating more and working more

- and it really doesn’t help that tony is getting eyefuls of the half naked ranch hand almost 24/7. it’s really not his fault that peter works better without a shirt on

- and maybe it comes to a head one day. maybe they’re picking up alfalfa bales from one of the fields and they stop to take a break and tony just ,, can’t handle sweaty, tan, barely-a-twink-anymore peter.

- and peter can feel it, with his ,, unique senses, that tony’s watching him. like, a lot. like, way more than normal even

- so he decides to play it up a bit. he takes his shirt off, he throws his gloves in the bed of the truck and balls the tee in his hands, wiping his face off with it and sighing deeply

- and he knows tony saw that because he could fucking hear tony’s breathing change and he smirks a little bit, because that’s enough confirmation for him to know for sure

- so he looks up, and he meets tony’s eyes, and they’re wild and feral and tony looks like one of the wolves that tried to take out one of their cows last winter - hungry and ready to devour what was in front of him

- and peter just looks at him, a little incredulous, and finally speaks up: ‘you gonna get over here ‘n kiss me, or what?’ - and tony fucking breaks

- he turns the truck off and slams the door when he gets out, grabbing peter by the neck and fucking dragging him against tony’s clothed body

- “do you know what you’ve been doing this whole time?”

- of course peter does, tony, you fucking moron. he knows and he’s been trying to get you to rip him to shreds, dumbass. you’re just oblivious

- but tony still can’t help but see the tiny young man that walked up on his doorstep those years ago, can’t help but want to protect him and keep him safe and warm and fed

- so of course tony wanted to go slow, and wanted to be gentle with peter

- but pete was having fucking none of that, because oh my god tony i’m not 19 anymore please just fuck me already and been wanting you for way too long and please tony just-- and he grabs tony’s hand and makes him squeeze even harder

- and it’s hot, and it’s messy, and it’s not even really sex, just them rutting and grabbing and jerking each other off up against the door of tony’s truck, belt buckles undone and jeans just barely tugged down

- and tony’s basking in it, watching peter’s eyes screw shut and his pretty plush lips open and the little ‘aah, nngh fuck, tony’s that push their way from his throat

- and he knows, the second they’re done here, they’re abandoning their work for the day and he’s taking peter back to the house and he’s going to show him what this is like for real, what it means to be touched with intention and love and emotion behind it - not just a quick handjob standing in the hay field

- and he does. he worships peter’s body when they get back to the house

- he kisses every single part of him, nips at the tiny bit of excess fat on his stomach and thighs and hips, relishing in the fact that peter is his, his to take care of, his to keep safe and healthy and happy

- and eventually, the guest room opens up again. peter’s stuff slowly moves into tony’s room. he stops getting paid, but that’s okay

- because why would you get paid to work on your own farm?

#starker #anon #asked #answered #.ask #i like this idea anon #please see me for any and all future requests you may have #because holy shit #this was enjoyable #anyway im high as FUCK please excuse if this doesn't make sense #love u nonnie #word count: 2.4k

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kandikorne · 3 years

Text

What’s Left of Me [BTS AU]

Words: 3.6 K

Summary: Jungkook was a typical college student. Nothing interesting there, his only friend, Kim Seokjin, or as he calls him, Jin, is terribly ill with an unknown illness that not even the doctors can prescribe. One night Jin asks Jungkook if he wants to play a game. Only the game isn’t what Jungkook thought. But it’s just a game right? What’s the worst that could happen?

Genre: Angst, Mature Content, Horror/Thriller.

~ ~ ~

It was nearing midnight as Jungkook had arrived back to his flat after a long drive across town just to deliver some notes and cards to Jin, who was currently running a fever with a mysterious illness. The doctors weren't even a hundred percent sure what was wrong with Jin, maybe it was a strain of pneumonia?

Yeah that has to be it, thought Jungkook as he slid off his shoes and went straight to his computer, he logged on and started to type up his essay on emotions and how they play into day to day life, but the emotion his professor gave him was quite difficult. It was sadness.

Sure the assignment was simple and all but never really experiencing true sadness he didn't know how to start it off. Besides a cheesy quote about feeling broken and alone.

He felt like he was about to go insane, he never felt true sadness and he was sure his professor would want it to be about something really depressing over just, ‘I lost my pet cat named Pete,’ but something more.

WIth a loud beep his phone went off alerting him of a text from Jin:

"Kookie thank you for the study materials!"

Jungkook smiled and was about to send him a response when Jin replied again:

"Have you played What's Left of Me? Or heard of it?"

“Honestly no... What is it?”

Before Jin responded Jungkook reread the name of the game and typed it in on his search bar for What’s Left of Me, all that popped up was a book. Frowning he knew this is not what his hyung meant so he went back to the search bar and tweaked his search adding Game. What popped up was Google claiming an error that Google was not responding.

“Odd...” He muttered before he tried to open a new tab only for the new same message to reappear. “You have to be kidding me,” he groaned and continually refreshed only to keep getting the same message and that Google had crashed.

“Why?!” He exclaimed, brows furrowing as he looked over at his phone only to see a video link from Jin. Clicking it he heard a soft female voice, practically whispering all while there was a black screen.

“Hi... I’m not gonna introduce myself because what’s the point.... Well obviously you’re here for my game What’s Left of Me. The game’s a bit different than your average game, there’s no shooting of others but decisions and story based themes, you the Player decides what happens. Nothing is reversible so play how you feel but do it carefully. I am giving you the extent of five players to choose from and that is all. Thank you for your consideration and I hope you enjoy.”

The video ended causing a frown to play on the young males features as he texted his hyung.

“That gave me the chills. Her voice was so sad, yet so familiar. WHY WAS SHE WHISPERING???”

Sent from Jin at 12:03

“I like how her video was, her voice was soft and peaceful as it captures your attention immediately. I’m ready to play it!”

Sent from Jungkook at 12:03

“Ok... Did you download it?”

Sent from Jin

“Yea are you going to Kookie?”

Sent from Jungkook

“It won’t even let me view the game.”

Sent From Jin

“Restart your computer.”

Why, thought the younger male but did as told, he waited for the system to reload and as it did their was a new file on his computer. WHAT’S LEFT OF ME in all caps. “How did this get here?” Scared Jungkook looked around his dark room but nothing was out of place, he even scanned his computer for a virus. Nada.

“Did it work?” Texted Jin, Jungkook could barely breathe yet alone focus on the situation at hand. How did this happen?

“Yeah the game was already on my computer somehow...”

“Huh strange, maybe you clicked download.” Responded Jin and as he read the message he shook his head, Jin didn't seem to get it. The game just appeared. He hadn’t even had the option to download it as it never popped up when he searched it.

“No because I couldn't even find the game when I originally searched it.”

Sent from Jin

“Computer was probs lagging but at least you have the game now. I think I want to play Namjoon. He seems interesting. What about you?”

Sent from Jungkook

“Erm hang on let me load the game, I haven’t open it yet.”

“K.” Was all Jin said as the younger male moved his cursor over the game and clicked open. As the game was loading an eerie song was playing in the background, Hell it wasn’t even a song, more so screeching and loud crashes. Every now and then the screen would glitch out and he’d get a brief glance at a girls face. He was only at 10% as the game completely froze except for the song which was on an endless loop and began repeating the word why over and over as the depressed girls face froze on screen before him, a single tear running down her smooth skin.

“You left us...” She whispered before the game automatically shut down and sent Jungkook staring at his home screen, eyes wide and breathing rapid. “What the literal fuck,” he cursed as the game restarted and took him back to the loading screen yet it was all different. Instead of a sad song on loop and the sad girl, the game played a soft happy tune as the background was all black and the title appeared in a bloody font. What’s Left of Me the words practically dripping down the screen as a candle flickered beneath the text casting long shadows revealing a room.

He had to admit this game had some freaky cool artwork. He clicked the title, not really sure what else to do as there was no options for the game. His options appeared before him carved into the desk that the candle was sitting on. The game title was on the gray wall behind the candle.

Jungkook read his options slowly and wondered if Jin saw the same things as him.

Continue Game

New Game

Leave?

Curious as to what Continue Game would do for him, since he’s never played it before and was sure no one has played it on his computer he clicked the option. The game file loaded and he was quickly inserted into a dark bathroom, a young man with copper hair, almost golden, was crying in the middle of the room. The only sounds besides the poor males soft spoken sobs was the sound of the bath running and pouring out onto the tiled floor all around the sobbing man. The game glitched and instead of water surrounding the copper haired male it was now a dark red substance which Jungkook could only assume was blood. He was no longer crying but screaming at the top of his lungs, “WHY WHY WHY!” His dark gaze looking dead at the screen, his eyes finding Jungkook’s, it was if he was was aware of Jungkook watching him. It was like the male wasn’t in the game.

Jungkook’s throat constricted with fear. The game crashed and he was back to the main menu. He most certainly wasn't going to try to continue that again unless it was his own saved progress, but even then he still didn't want to do this.

Why is he even considering this game? For Jin, he softly reminded himself. But why did Jin even want to play this game, it was so freaky and weird. Did Jin not get the same intro as him? Maybe Jin was smarter than him and decided not to try and continue the game, speaking of the Continue Game option that was no longer present instead it said, Can’t Continue Something You Never Started or Cared For.

Chills ran down his spine as he took a picture and went to send it to Jin who had been blowing up his cell. Jungkook didn't even read his messages from his hyung as he instantly went to send Jin the freaky message from the game. Only the test wouldn't go through, he was shot with an error. “What the Hell?” He grumbled and tried once more only for it to not send.

“Why’s this happening? I paid my bill!” Biting his lower lip in confusion he looked at Jin’s messages and hoped his hyung would understand his technical difficulties.

From Jin sent at 12:10

Jungkook you there?

Hey did you start the game?

Kookie, kookie, kookie?????

Ok spam time

Hello

What does a janitor yell at a party?

SUPPLIES! hahaha get it? Supplies

I’m worried you alive?

Wait are you asleep?

If so sorry. Send a bunny emoji if you’ve been kidnapped.

I’m gonna start the game, Namjoon is pretty cool and looks good. What about you? Who will you play as, you have five options, all of them epic.

From Jin sent at 12:12

I get it, you hate the game and you haven’t even started.

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled, Jin is so childish and impatient, he thought to himself and sent a quick apology text. Sent, he managed to send a text! His eyes widened as he tried to send the picture only the picture wouldn’t go through.

Why was that?

Why was it that he could send an apology to Jin but not a picture? Did he not have enough storage? Was their text history too long?

It just didn't add up. Whatever, he thought, It doesn’t even matter. It’s just a game.

Clicking on the New Game option he was sent to a character page. Five characters like Jin said, but there was an outline of a missing character, two actually. He hovered his cursor over both of them but all he got for their stats was:

Name: ???

Age: ???

Height: ???

Gender: ???

Description: ???

He looked at the outline and noticed the lock in the middle of their chests, he had to unlock them. How come he didn't see that when he was first looking at them?

Whatever, just find a character and start the game so Jin won’t be upset. With a sigh he moved his over a young male with a blonde mullet, a boxy smile on his perfectly proportioned face.

Name: Kim Taehyung.

Age: 23

Height: 5′10

Gender: Male

Description: Taehyung is a happy go lucky, one of a kind guy, unlike any others that you will ever encounter in life.

Already interested and a tad bit jealous of how happy and lucky Taehyung gets to be while he, himself, is worried for Jin’s health and stressing over stupid projects that are all nearing there due date. Shoving some his hair out of his face he moved on to the next character, the one from the Continue Game option. Curious as to see what was wrong with him and who he was he began to read the stats.

Name: Worthless

Age: Does it matter? I’m just gonna fade away...

Height: Too short just like life....

Gender: Dead

Description: You let me die, it’s your fault. Why didn't you care about me? How could you let me go through with it? WHY’D YOU LEAVE ME?

Shaking his head with a low sigh escaping his lips, he wondered who was this character and why was he so depressed? But also curious of his stats, he asked Jin.

Sent from Jungkook at 12:13

Jin who is the copper haired male after Taehyung?

Sent from Jin at 12:13

Who Jimin? Y?

“Jimin,” whispered Jungkook softly almost as if he was testing out the name. His name was so nice compared to his description. The characters blank stare held his gaze, honestly Jungkook felt a bit guilty for this made up character.

Sent from Jungkook at 12:15

I couldn't see his stats 4 sum reason. :/

Sent from Jin at 12:15

The pausing of this game is janky... Lemme go back to the lobby. Pray that my game saves

Sent from Jungkook at 12:16

I pray it saves

Sent from Jin at 12:17

Okay Name: Park Jimin Age: 22 Height: 4′8 Gender: Male duh Description he’s a chill dude with a beautiful smile.

*Height 5′8 lol he’s not that short. That’s about it.

Sent from Jungkook at 12:17

Is this some sort of dating sim?

Sent from Jin at 12:17

No most certainly not. I don;t really know what it is, but I know it’s not a dating sim. Each character has a different story, that’s all I know.

Sent from Jungkook at 12:18

This is some srs bull.

Sent from Jin at 12:18

Please don't use acronyms Kookie.

Jungkook laughed and shook his head at his hyungs requests when, he too, use abbreviations such as why to y.

Sent from Jungkook at 12:18

Yes boss

Sent from Jin at 12:19

😈 Lol picked your character yet?

Sent from Jungkook at 12:19

No not yet, my game’s acting up.

Sent from Jin at 12:19

Well hurry up so you can play!!!!!

Sent from Jungkook at 12:20

Ok gimme a minute.

Placing his phone down in his lap he moved on to the next character, a tall male with silverish purple hair with deep brown eyes that seemed to be able to read your soul and a soft dimpled smile.

Name: Kim Namjoon

Age: 23

Height: 5′11

Gender: Male

Description: A bookworm, a really hard worker with excellent grades, who’s also a natural leader. Pretty cool guy once you meet him.

Jungkook chuckled at the last part, “once you meet him.” Like he’s gonna meet Kim Namjoon in person, he’s just a character in a video game, closest thing he’d get to meeting Namjoon is playing as him. Which he won’t because this is Jin’s character.

The next character’s picture was sweaty, his tongue out, black hair in his eyes, as a black hat rested on his head.

Name: Jung Hoseok

Age: 24

Height: 5′10

Gender: Male

Description: Hoseok, Hobi, is an all around ray of sunshine, with constant happy vibes. Always there for you when you need it, remember?

He frowned, why is it like the game is talking to him directly, “Fine if I play as Hoseok or Hobi, whatever his name is I’ll remember that he’s a ray of sunshine to help others.” He grumbled but a small smile played on his features as a warm aura seemed to enclose around him.

Moving away from the friendly happier male he moved onto the one dressed in all black, a mask covering his mouth and nose as his dark brown eyes stared at him judgingly. He was more ominous looking than scary.

Name: Min Yoongi

Age: 25

Height: 5′9

Gender: Male

Description: Always quiet but observant, known to stand up for those in need, tired but always working.

Nodding his head, understanding each character he finally decided that he’s play as Taehyung. He would’ve played as Jimin if he was able to, but the game simply would not help let him.

Starting up as Taehyung he was given the option:

Play as Kim Taehyung?

Yes? No?

“Obviously,” he said with a chuckle as he selected, yes, the game loaded with ease, compared to when he first started the game. A small transition of a butterfly landing onto a window sill was played in the background, then he heard the sounds of a camera snapping a photo.

“Babe,” came a male voice in the background, the loading symbol stopped as the clip began to play. The light filtered into the room showing a few dust particles floating around as the butterfly stayed on the sill slowly moving it’s beautiful blue and black wings.

“In here,” came the females voice, the door opened and the floor groaned with the males footsteps. “Are you coming, we’re about to leave?”

“Sorry was taking a picture.”

“You’re obsessed with that thing.”

“Photos keep memories.”

“Yeah but can also steal a part of your soul.” Spoke the deep voiced male jokingly as the girl laughed. What a sound to be heard, it was like music, so carefree and soft. Jungkook wished he could listen to her laugh all day, she seemed so happy, unlike any other girl he’s ever met and tried to talk to.

“Well this camera can’t have my soul,” she stated promptly. The camera angles changed revealing a small girl, her hair covering her face, until the man, who Jungkook recognized as his player Kim Taehyung, moved his hand to her face brushing her short dark brown hair away from her eyes. “You look so much better showing your face.” She shook her head, the hair falling back into her brown eyes as her dimpled grin moved to crinkle her eyes.

“Whatever oppa,” she teased softly punching his arm. “I’m serious,” he muttered pulling her closer to him, her hands rested upon his chest and the camera still in her left hand. The butterfly flew past the camera showing the two lovers.

The room changed, it was no longer the happy loving environment that Jungkook was originally thrusted into. Instead his character was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with sobs. Every now and then he would repeat a name, it was obviously the girl that he was with name.

“Elli,” he whimpered, even his dog was sniffling and whimpering. His puppy rested his head on Taehyung’s thigh. Both of them were honestly too sad to watch causing Jungkook to push away from his desk and move to his bed.

“What the fuck is this game? It said Taehyung was a happy go lucky guy, what the fuck happened to that?” Raking his fingers through his hair he took a deep breath and texted Jin:

I can’t play, I have class tomorrow 8 am.

He lied flatly and went to send only it wouldn’t. “Again with this bullshit?” He questioned aloud pissed, throwing his phone across the room and onto his bed. “Fuck this,” he grumbled as he moved to his couch, falling heavily onto the cushions and looking up at his ceiling in annoyance.

Through the corner of his eye he noticed the television had turned on. Must’ve sat on the remote, he thought to himself as he sat up and looked under the cushions only to find nothing but a quarter, three pennies, a dime, and a moldy cheeto. Scrunching his nose up in disgust and grabbing the 38 cents that he had found he placed the cushions back in their place.

He turned on his lamp and continued his search only for the lamps light bulb to explode, shards of glasses flying through the paper lamp shade and nearly cutting him. Startled by the destruction he looked all around the room, his eyes landing on the Tv and to the message displayed through the static.

juSt go bAck to the VidEo gaME !

The message was pretty clear of what it wanted him to do. The younger male didn’t understand why only a few letters were capitalized, and not even in a specific order or why there was two words underlined. Looking back and reading the all capitalized letters he wrote them down:

S - A - V - E M - E

A shiver ran down his spine at the startling code, maybe it was unintentional but something in his gut told him, it was there for a reason. He did the same with the two underlined words:

SAVE THE GAME

Is what the message came down to. Who was he even supposed to be saving? And why was his television telling him to save the stupid game? It didn't make sense, all of this was just making him frustrated. He shook his head and unplugged the television having enough of this shit.

“I’m done!” He exclaimed as he moved onto his bedroom, all the lights in the house began to flicker on and off. “Oh great my life now is becoming Paranormal Activity, fun.”

With a groan he went back down the hall and to his computer, the screen glowing at him. “Now how do I even save?” He grumbled trying to find a way to save the game without losing what little progress, technically none, that he’s made so far.

With a roll of his tired eyes, he pulled up the options and found nothing useful on saving the game. “How the fuck? What is this even? This game,” he groaned out annoyed, ready to just log off his computer and restart Taehyung’s intro scene. Exiting the options he was brought face to face to Taehyung's sad, blood-tear stained cheeks, thanks to the new camera angle. What made it even more creepy was the twisted boxy smile on the male’s face as he stared right into the camera.

Jumping back startled, and nearly falling out of the chair, Jungkook released a slight yelp as the character began to speak to him, almost directly.

“Aren’t you gonna save me? Or are you, too, just gonna abandon me like all the others?”

Two options appeared before him in a dark red, dripping font:

Save ME

Abandon ME

Hesitant of what the two options meant he hovered his cursor trying to decipher what he should do, when he realized that this was the way of saving, or so he hoped.

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love-me-tender13 · 2 years

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Four Years Later

Where to even start..

I truly have no idea how I even ended up on here. I opened my computer to do something else (that I couldn't even remember what it was) and found myself reseting my password and logging on. So much pain and growth. It’s impressive to see my thoughts and feeling all written down. I haven’t written in a very long time. I used to be my escape. Get it all out of my head. Release the negative. Now it just feels a little foreign. Again, where to even start..I guess a life update will suffice. I will be 29 in a few short weeks. That marine, he’s still my husband. Going five years strong. We now have two beautiful pitbull fur babies, and a 2 year old son. That’s the crazy part, motherhood. I can’t even begin to comprehend all the emotions that come with that title and I’m already two years in. Hands down THE most liberating, overwhelming, and challenging thing I have ever done to date. The mental hoops to jump through. It’s all exhausting. Even when you don’t feel tired, you are. The biggest part that seem to overtake me is.. I lost it. My brain is literally mush. “Mom brain” as many people seem to classify it as. But I don’t like that saying. It’s too general. It insinuates that moms can’t think. That they have a “dumb” brain. Equivalent to when someone says they have a “blonde moment”. What even is that? I like the term “brain fart” the best only because it reminds me of adolescence and it cracks me up (like it would a child). But to say a mother has “mom brain” because her thinking lags is in my opinion ridiculous. I’m supposed to go all day every day thinking, remembering, planning, making appointments, dinner, cleaning, laundry, literally living for someone else 24/7. Putting my brain into overdrive every second of every day ( yes, even in my sleep- or lack of) and society is telling me it’s not suppose to glitch? Get out of town. See, motherhood. If nothing explains it better than this then, you’re welcome. As I was saying, the mental hoops that come with motherhood. Battling depression and anxiety now I have to battle postpartum depression and heightened anxiety with thoughts of something happening to cause me to lose the one thing I live for in this world, my son. Throw in some doctor appointments, grocery shopping, laundry and playdates with a few brain glitches into the mix and there you have it folks, motherhood. I found it.. The biggest part that seems to overtake me is overcoming generational curses. Breaking those cycles that only caused buried trauma and fighting through these new found triggers. I would have never known that I have a sensitivity to excessive noise if it weren't for motherhood. Sitting in a room with the tv volume on, a fire truck toy blaring it’s engine and a toddler pretending he's lightening McQueen revving his engine and I’m ready to lose my mind. Would have never known. Especially after years of being in a gymnasium or ballfields. They cause triggers, I get overstimulated and I just feel the need to lock myself in the bathroom. I can’t cause oddly enough my toddler knows how to unlock the door but the thought it always nice when it hits. Nap time and when everyone goes to bed is my most favorite times of the day. Sweet peaceful silence. Only hearing what I want to hear at the volume I want to hear it. I wish I could do me time in the mornings but I am still very much a night owl. I stay up later than anyone ever should while battling motherhood but I am just not built for mornings. However, tonight I am tired and ready for bed a lot sooner than the usual. So I’ll end it with this. As I come off as bitching about motherhood please know this. I wouldn’t change it for the world. It gave me my purpose in this life. it gave me a great light to hold on too. To keep pushing through these days. I would have never imagined my life the way it is now. I didn’t see a life past high school honestly. But every day is a victory if I can wake up and get to sleep without crawling back down my dark hole of despair.

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 3 years

Text

Valentine’s Day Surprise - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 3)

Part 1 Part 2

You hated flying. You absolutely hated it. You hated the whole airport process. You hated being stuck in plane for hours up in the air with a bunch of strangers. Literally one of your worst nightmares, however, you always found a way to push through. And that was to sleep for most of the flight.

Luckily, that worked because by the time you woke up, there were only a couple more hours left on the flight. You took out your computer to see if you had any feedback since sending your latest draft off. There wasn’t any sent yet, which you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Instead of focusing on that, you pulled out your journal and started working on your next book idea.

But then you quickly got side tracked thinking about how surprising Harry was going to go. You didn’t want to show up on set, not that you could honestly, it was closed set and you would have to be on the list, which you were not. Plus, you wanted your reunion to be private. You wanted things to stay as private as they could for as long as they could. Because once the two of you went public, there was no going back.

You wondered if you should stop by the store and grab some grocery's to make dinner or just pick up something on the way to his house where he was staying. When you got to the airport, you were going to call Jeff and see if he could help you out. You thought about doing it before you left, but you wanted to make sure your surprise was kept and sometimes that man is a lost cause in terms of secrets.

So, you made a mental note to make sure and call him as soon as you landed and got your bags. You then made a list of different restaurants you knew were around there from your many trips to LA in the past, as well as some of your favorite go to recipes that would be easy to make after traveling the majority of the day.

That was another reason you preferred sleeping on the plane because then you wouldn’t have to worry about being too jet lagged by the time you arrived. Of course, that would only last so long. You were able to make your schedule work so that you could be gone for a week, you just hoped you would be able to make the most of it with Harry with his schedule.

After all your list making and mental notes, you realized the plane had started to descend, which means you were almost there. You smiled putting everything back in your bag because you wanted to get off that plane as fast as you could.

Harry couldn’t pack his bags fast enough. He wanted to call you and tell you the news as soon as he got in the car, but he knew that would ruin the surprise. At this point, Harry didn’t even know what he was packing as he was just throwing random shit into his bags. It helped not having a ton of options already since he was staying in LA and he would be home if he needed anything once in London.

“Ready?” Jeff asked.

“Yep,” he nodded, “Let’s go.”

Both Harry and Jeff loaded up into his car and made their way to the airport.

“So, how long are you covering for?” Harry asked.

“I can get you a few days,” he said. “Since you’re not needed on set until the end of the week, that helps. I made most of the meetings over zoom, so you will have to figure that one out, and those I couldn’t you’ll have to next week.”

Harry nodded, “Now, how was this able to be done in like a few hours, yet I kept trying for days and nothing...”

“Because I’m your manager and that’s my job,” he said.

“Well, next time can you do your fucking job a lot sooner, so I’m not stressing the fuck out?” He asked.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” he said. “But even though I’m doing this, I still meant what I said before. You can’t keep being the one who does this. You two need to figure out some sort of compromise, you know.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed.

“I know you’re worried about what happened to your friendship years ago, but if both of you put the effort in to make this work, it’s not going to end up like that,” Jeff said.

Harry sighed looking out the window, “I hope so.”

“Hey, it will,” Jeff said. “Now stop moping and worrying. You’re like ten plus hours away from seeing your girl.”

“It’s actually closer to like 13,” he said. “At this point, I’m probably going to get there when she’s asleep.”

“Yeah, maybe you should give her a heads up before you just show up at her door in the middle of the night,” he laughed.

“Actually, I might stop by my house and freshen up... go over in the morning, he said.

“Really? I thought you would want to get there as soon as possible?” Jeff asked.

“Oh, I do, but I also haven’t planned shit or even gotten her anything. I can’t show up empty handed,” he said.

“I’m sure as long as you got your dick in your pants and your tongue in your mouth, you’re not showing up empty handed,” he joked.

“Really?” Harry laughed, shaking his head. “While that may be true, I would like to get her something nice and not entirely sexual.”

“Wow, you really are in love,” Jeff smirked.

“Fuck off,” Harry rolled his eyes.

Finally, you were off the plane and had your bags in hand. Your flying anxiety was gone, but was replaced with the excitement of seeing your boyfriend and actually pulling off your plan. Speaking of your plan, you needed to call Jeff and figure out your next step.

First, you headed straight to the bathroom to pee and then found a corner to call him. You sighed as it kept ringing and ringing, until finally he answered just before it went to voicemail.

“Y/N?” He asked. “Is uh everything okay?”

“Hey, I know it’s probably weird and random that I’m calling you, but I need your help,” you said.

“Um... okay, where are you I can barely hear you,” he said.

“I’m at LAX. I just flew in. I’m surprising Harry and that’s what I need your help with. I was wondering-” you started.

“Wait? What? You’re where?” Jeff exclaimed.

“LAX. I’m in LA. I’m about to get-” you said.

“No. No. No. NO. Fuck,” Jeff said.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” You asked.

“Shit, fucking hell,” Jeff said.

“Is this a bad time?” You asked.

“Yes because I just dropped Harry off at the airport. He’s was going to surprise you,” Jeff sighed.

“Bloody hell. When does his flight leave?” You asked.

“In like an hour? But he’ll be boarding soon,” He sighed.

“Fuck, which means he probably won’t have his phone on,” you sighed.

“Where are you?” He asked. “Are you still at arrival?”

“Yeah, why?” You asked.

“I’m on my way. I’ll pick you up and then drop you off at departure. Hopefully, you can get to him before he leaves,” Jeff sighed.

“O-Okay, and if I can’t?” You sighed.

“We’ll cross that fucking bridge when we get there,” he sighed.

You couldn’t believe this was about to happen. Frustrated tears were forming in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. You had to get to Harry before he got on that plane or else your plan and your Valentine’s Day would be ruined.

And you couldn’t let that happen.

Dun, dun, dun.

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfic #harry styles fanfiction

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simpingforsoftboys · 3 years

Text

Haikyuu as Things Me & My Friend Groups Do In Roblox

!NOT RDR INSERT!

Atsumu (+ Osamu)

Atsumu has been obsessed with Dance Off for god knows how long and gets pissed off when people refuse to follow the theme

Don’t even get him started on when people team and vote for their friends- regardless if they fit the theme or not

Mofo will convince Osamu to play with him and have them on the same team- wearing matching outfits and shit

Literally goes “ok third dance on the right in 1 2 3-“ and will get angry if Samu messes up and makes his character dance out of sync

Suna + Miya Twins

Murder Mystery Hardcore and Flee the Facility are their go to

Tsumu gets real invested in the game and will be lowkey hurt if either of them kill him

“Tf Samu what kinda brother are ya-“

Osamu doesnt gaf and has gotten real good at sneaking glances at Atsumu’s screen

In MM, Suna deliberately points fingers at random innocent players, claiming they’re the murderer- and laughs when the sheriff shoots them

Suna’s also the type to have all the hidden rooms locations memorized and will camp out there if he’s feeling lazy

It doesn’t matter if Osamu is murderer or sheriff, he’ll still target Atsumu

In Flee The Facility Suna and Osamu will team up and follow Atsumu around and sabatoge all the computers he hacks

They also team with the beast and stand and watch Atsumu when he’s captured- taunting him

Atsumu gets so mad and it’s hilarious

“STOP CAMPIN YOU TEAMERS &$&?!&”

Suna never saves anyone when they get captured- even Osamu

But he’ll be upset if no ones rescues him

“Hurry up and rescue me- I am literally dying wtf.”

His voice doesn’t really rise in volume but it will change to a higher pitch out of irritation

Suna is very quiet when he plays and will mute his mic

When he’s not feeling serious about playing he’ll go run up to the beast and juke em and stuff for lolz

When he’s beast he’ll camp the computers/survivors

Osamu is that one player who will either be a saint and save everyone or refuses to help anyone

It really just depends on who he’s playing with

He’s the type to get pissed off when the last survivor waits by the open exit in order to irritate the beast

Spams chat to urge them to hurry up

Never types in caps but makes lowercase look threatening

He’s the kinda beast that will actually play fair and go after the remaining survivors once he captures one

Atsumu is that one lvl 30 something player but still manages to play like a total noob

Messes up when hacking the computers cuz he gets distracted then blames it on his internet lagging

Osamu calls him out for lying

“Yer such a liar tsumu my internet aint laggin yer just shit at this.”

Also the type of player to forget his volume is maxed out and gets scared when he hears the beast music

The last survivor that Osamu hates- and stands in front of the door way to taunt the beast

Atsumu hates being beast and will immediately leave the game if he is beast- much to Osamu’s chargin

Bokuto, Kuroo, Kenma, Akaashi

Kenma convinces them to play the roblox version of Paranormica (ghost hunting game)

Bokuto always has to carry the lantern because for some reason the game always decides that the ghosts hate him- and only him

Bo also carries the spirit book, because it doesn’t need to be equipped to be used

If he see’s ANY writing he will straight up drop the thing and run over to kuroo, telling him to “forget the box and bring the bird” (Kuroo has to carry the bird and the spirit box)

If the bird dies Kuroo starts whisper screaming “oh fuck no not today satan” and will run out of the place back to the van asap

Bokuto panics too and will run after him, telling Akaashi to run and leaving Kenma in the place without light (hopefully the fuse hasnt blown out by then)

Since he has the spirit box, Kuroo is also the first to be sacrificed once the ouija board starts saying some weird shit

This dummy thought angering the ghost further (by saying its name) was a good idea and will get himself killed

Kenma is me basically

He’ll carry the nightvision cam and emf reader and will periodically alternate between the two

Once he see’s something sus though he’s all like “time for a tactical retreat” and will run outside w/out telling anyone else

Every man for himself

It dont matter if the ghost isnt aggro yet- he aint takin any chances

Can be heard quietly debating with himself about what type the ghost is- even if he only has 1/3 clues

Akaashi usually sticks with Kenma- sorry Bo but kaashi dont f with ghosts, not even for you

He has the fuse and a crucifix- his job is to be Kenma’s support

He occasionally weighs in on the ghost type debate

Tbh he hates this game with a passion- it never fails to give him anxiety

Oikawa & Hanamaki

These two play Fashion Famous together

Iwa and Mattsun totally make fun of them for it

Oikawa takes this game way too seriously

Will follow the theme to a T and bought all the game passes 💀

Makki doesn’t have robux so he has to stick to the free sections

If he’s feeling like a troll he’ll follow Oikawa around and wear a similar outfit and everything to irritate him

Kawa is not happy and insults him in chat- other players report him for bullying and he gets banned for a few days

Seijoh 4

These guys play Bloxburg together 💯

They have their own roblox group so thats how Makki got the 25 robux needed to play

Again Oikawa has all the game passes

He, Mattsun, and Makki all spend their time building a giant castle with secret underground entryways that lead to hidden prisons

They like to rp (roleplay) and kidnap unsuspecting players

Mattsun and Makki built a strip club together

Iwaizumi is the money maker and is always working aha (either at the grocery store as a cashier or pizza delivery guy)

The three idiots roleplay dramatically in the chat for attention 💀

Iwa’s so over their shit

Okay I spent an hour listing these while simultaneously watching The Good Doctor (and there’s poly representation in the new season omfg I love it!) while taking a break from my homework- now I gtg get started again bye.

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haymaker-mva · 4 years

Text

A different choice, a different chance

Part 1/2: Desperada

So I've fucking given up on my “mental health break.” No sleep for the wicked!

This fic’s pretty much, “What if Marinette picked Luka for the snake miraculous first, and what would happen if that led to her realizing that what she was pretty much a stalker?”

Enjoy the fic that my brain spawned and would not let me leave alone!

1 - 2

“W-wow…” Alya stuttered in surprise. “It never hit me that the plans we did messed with others… It just seemed so harmless at the time…”

“That’s the same thought I had. It seemed like just being a schoolgirl with a crush, but I really have gone too far, haven’t I?”

Ladybug looked between Adrien Agreste and Luka Couffine. She had one snake miraculous, and two guys to choose from. After casting her luck charm, Ladybug had gone to get backup, telling Adrien and Luka to go hide. She set up Luka’s guitar with the pigeons and escaped. She quickly retrieved the snake miraculous from Master Fu, and went on her way. As she flew back through the city, Ladybug’s mind drifted.

For some strange reason that seemed specifically like a crush, Mainette had chosen Adrien to play with Jagged instead of Luka, who was much more suited for the job. The guilt ate at Marinette, but Ladybug had to get her head in the game.

Ladybug slid into the sewers again, and began calling out to Luka and Adrien. She had to make sure they were safe, and perhaps give one of them the miraculous she currently held if her instincts were leading her the right way.

She heard Luka answer her, and she made her way towards his voice and quickly found them in a normal tunnel. Adrien and Luka were both there, though they seemed quite a bit worried.

Now back to where we were. Ladybug looked between Adrien and Luka. Her heart ached for her to choose Adrien, but her instincts pulled her towards Luka. She was so close to giving Adrien the snake… but then the guilt from Marinette’s earlier mistake smacked her in the brain. Ladybug shook her head to clear her thoughts, and grabbed Adrien’s wrist.

“Luka, go hide around that corner. I have to hide Adrien somewhere else, I’ll be back to make sure you’re safe.”

Adrien ran through the sewers with Luka, just trying to get away from the akuma. Every time Adrien tried to lag behind or get lost around a corner, Luka would find him and make sure they weren’t separated. It was nice to have a friend that cared so much, but Adrien needed to become Chat Noir, and Luka was making it ten times harder!

After Kwami knows how long of this, Ladybug found them again thanks to Luka’s loud voice. Adrien could tell what this was; Ladybug went to get backup. He knew his partner. A tiny war waged in his head. On one hand, being chosen by Ladybug would be great. But on the other hand, Adrien was Chat Noir, and being chosen would not be so great.

So when Ladybug pulled him aside, his heart both sank and soared. His Lady truste him outside of the mask too…! But he needed to be Chat Noir…

Ladybug pulled them into a locker room, and paused to catch her breath. She opened a locker, and motioned for him to get inside.

What?

Ladybug wasn’t choosing him? So what was she doing? Noticing the confusion on Adrien’s face, Ladybug elaborated.

“I needed to spit you two up to make it harder for Desperada to get you both in one go. I also need to find that dang cat, and find some backup,” Ladybug griped. She collected herself and let out a breath. “Anyway, go hide and only come out when you see the ladybugs.” Ladybug waved and ran out of the locker room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Adrien conflicted.

Was it good or bad that Ladybug didn’t give his alter ego another miraculous?

Soon the fight was over and the miraculous ladybug was cast, and everything was back to normal. Well, not exactly. Seeds of doubt had been planted in Marinette’s head…

As Marinette sat on her bed after the fight, she replayed a lot of scenes in her head. All of them about Adrien. All the times she messed something up, hurt someone, or sacrificed something because of him,in one way or another. There were too many times. Heck, it happened just that day with Luka and playing with Jagged!

Marinette’s mind flashed back to the day that Manon got akumatized into Puppeteer the second time. Adrien had specifically mentioned loving another girl, as well as indirectly and almost actually rejecting her.

All of a sudden, she felt stupid.

He never loved her, and she didn’t want to hurt yet another person, especially him, trying to obtain Adrien’s affections. Marinette frowned sadly. She really had hurt so many people. Granted, she always apologized and fixed things. Take Kagami for example! They got orange juice together pretty much every week. But that didn’t change the fact that she had still hurt people with her stalkerish schemes.

And looking at her wall, she followed the thought that she had also crossed over into stalker territory. Not just her wall, Marinette had even stolen his phone at one point! Gotten his bodyguard in trouble! Invaded his room as Ladybug, and took full advantage of his trust in her. She wasn’t even properly friends with him; she could barely speak a word in his presence!

Marinette facepalmed. How could she ever have dreamed of dating a guy that she couldn’t talk to? She remembered something her mother told her a long time ago, when she had started liking guys.

“Remember, Marinette. Don’t choose the better guy, choose the guy that makes you the better girl. Never go for the one that brings the worst out in you. It’ll only lead to disaster if you can’t control yourself.”

Marinette had never really taken that advice into consideration, because of her short list of crushes. But now it was all she could think of. Why did she even like Adrien? She could barely recall. She told herself it was his personality, the kindness he displayed, the trust he had in others… But that was just his naivety, wasn’t it? She liked him because he was afraid of losing his friends by being anything but polite. Adrien only went after her so that she wouldn’t hate him. Their class was small, of course he wouldn’t want to have any enemies.

Marinette slapped her cheeks. She wouldn’t think bad of Adrien. Even if he was her crush, and she was a bad one herself, he was still her friend.

I think I need to call Alya.

“I think I’ve gone too far with Adrien.” Was the first words that rushed out of her mouth. Cringing at the implication, she rephrased. “As in, my crush has gone too far.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where is this coming from?” Alya responded.

“I chose Adrien today. To play guitar. Over Luka, who is literally in a popular band, and would you look at that! Plays a guitar.” Marinette deadpanned, sitting down in her desk chair. “I’ve also conspired with Chloe to ruin Kagami’s dress, stolen his phone, gotten his bodyguard in trouble with a police officer, literally have his schedule mapped out and memorized, and my walls are covered in his face. And that’s just to start.” The words tumbled out of her, and though she knew it was bad, seeing it all out on the table was unsettling. Knowing she had done all that.

She really was a stalker at this point.

“W-wow…” Alya stuttered in surprise. “It never hit me that the plans we did messed with others… It just seemed so harmless at the time…”

“That’s the same thought I had. It seemed like just being a schoolgirl with a crush, but I really have gone too far, haven’t I?” Marinette said, placing the phone in front of her computer, which was displaying Adrien’s face.

She put her face in her hands, elbows resting on the desk.

“I think we’ve all gone too far.” Alya stated, surprising Marinette. “My job as your bestie is to even you out and tell you when it’s time to calm down. But I didn’t even notice.”

“Nonono, Alya it’s not your fault I went crazy.” Marinette told her best friend. It really wasn’t any of her friends' fault. “Let’s move past that though. What now?”

“Huh?”

“What do I do now? I can’t let this keep happening. Something needs to change.”

“Maybe tone down your advances? Get rid of the schedule? This doesn’t mean you have to give up, it just tells us that we need to rethink our strategy” Alya suggested.

“I… I think I have to move on.”

“What?! Why?” Alya exclaimed. Marinette could imagine her face, Alya’s eyes wide and her glasses slightly slipping.

“Face it Al’s, I can’t even talk to him. He loves another girl, and that girl is most likely Kagami. And she and him are possibly dating. I’m still friends with her, I can’t ruin their relationship.” Marinette sighed, her mind conjuring up Kagami and hers’ orange juice meetups. Marinette couldn’t do that to someone she considered a friend. A rival in love would be okay, but Kagami had clearly won over Adrien. So, Marinette had to move on.

“I… It’s just strange to think about you not being in love with Adrien.” Alya puzzled.

“Honestly, I understand the feeling.” Marinette took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. She snapped forward, “But we’re gonna have to get used to it!” She declared, standing up and bringing her arms up determinately.

From that point forward, she really did.

1 - 2

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elvesofnoldor · 3 years

Text

i looked up what the missing 5% i need for a 112% game completion and as it turns out, i DO have to complete the final trial of fools. that was one (1) whole percent. I really hope the trial of fools area isn’t having severe frame rate issues anymore or i will have no chance at 112% on this computer. Also i have to go and complete all of the pantheons at god home (patheons of master....sage...knight...something else idk) except for pantheon of hallownest ofc, which was something i wanted to do anyways. so as of now, im not gonna get the sealed siblings ending, because im gonna try and get a 112% playthrough on sealed siblings ending.

it took me 198 hours to complete the game on true ending, even considering the radiance’s difficulty, it was an obscene amount of time. it’s hilarious cause i have done 105%? 100-105%? of the game within the first 100 hours or so. it isn’t a feat by any means since it would have taken most people less time. Even counting the time where i just sort of stood around and did nothing it shouldn’t have taken that long if i didn’t suck at every other boss fights and got lost and died so many times at the beginning. but it also means that the rest of 98 hours was just me trying to beat nightmare king grimm and the radiance. which means it took me roughly the same amount of time i needed to beat the rest of the game to beat two (2) bosses. they are very literally the two toughest bosses in the game, but still, this will never stop being hilarious to me. not to mention, this is not counting the fact that immediately after i finished NKG aka most of the game except the two final bosses (yes, that included the white palace parkour section), i left the game behind at the beginning of last year for no good reason (the game starts to lag super badly on start-up but i always had lagging issues, just not this severe on start-up) until i couldn’t handle it anymore and initiated the final boss fights right away at the beginning of july this year. i have took my time with this game, never taking it this slow with any other games before.

and after all these time spent on the game.......i want to spend even MORE time at this game. in fact i want to get all the achievements for hollow knight and i know that at least three of these achievements have to do with speed running the game in extremely short amount of time (one is 20 hours and one is 10 hours and one is 5 hours?). i never wanted to do this type of shit for any other games before, not even the last of us. right now im like why play any other game when i could play hollow knight again

#im gonna head to god home when i have the time #i said i wanted to play h*des after this? oh well!!!#hk lives in my head rent free....the game but also um...you know. pure vessel themselves #anyways. im not sure if i would be this involved with any souls game. but i think i might like bloodborne a lot......#im prepared to search out all the nooks and crannies of soulsborne games when i have a ps4 or a powerful desktop gaming pc #then again i dont like souls lore that much. bloodborne is the only one with a more put together lore #mae overshares #im still thinking about the final ascension on striking the final blow to the radiance #too bad i couldn't look at all the ghosts of the siblings rising through the air with my little guy #because i was busy looking at where the lasers light beams were at and panicking as i fell to the void YET another time #me and my siblings killing God herself. usual family bonding activity. true teamwork at play here #by true teamwork i mean 'me doing 100% of the work and my siblings cheering me on in the distance'#i died once on the final ascension and i was so devastated i didnt take a screenshot #i noticed the siblings were just hovering in the background as i fucking died. they must have been like 'are you fucking serious'#i watched the ending a couple of times before. i knew what happened. it was a very sober ending #if not for the fact my brain was caught in the euphoria of beating the radiance i would have been real sad about it

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everlarkbirthdaygifts · 5 years

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Happy Birthday, 567inpanem!

Today, we wish @567inpanem Happy Birthday! We hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, and that you’ll end it with some delicious, Peeta-worthy cake! To keep your party going, @ally147writes has written a story just for you!

AN: Happy Birthday, @567inpanem! Your very simple request for an Everlark fic was kind of broad, but I hope you’ll enjoy this little drabble. I wish I could have made it longer, but many things have conspired against me this past week and I had to pare it down a little. Maybe I’ll expand on it later when I add it to my AO3 collection...

Rated T. Unbeta’d - all errors are my own. I apologise if people find this iteration of Katniss, or this fic in general, too bitingly sarcastic, but I’m spending all my time either writing academic stuff, or middle-grade fiction. I don’t have an outlet for the sarcasm right now and gawd I need it...

---

“Hey.”

Katniss jumps, knocks her knees against the underside of the rickety desk and sends her pencil case tumbling to the floor. Her university’s post-grad study room is never anything less than silent. Exactly the way she prefers it. In the year-and-a-half she’s been frequenting, no one’s ever said more than two syllables to her, and that’s usually just to ask if the computer next to hers is taken.

Which, yes, it is, even when it’s not. Because personal space is a commodity in here and there’s plenty of other computers to use that aren’t right by hers.

The source isn’t hard to find. The guy sitting across from her, with his blond curls tucked away under a dark blue, knit hat, typing away at his computer. Even though he’s smiling, he’s not looking her way at all. Par for the course, really; the guy’s been sitting in the same seat and giving her the same half-eyes since she started using the area.

But she keeps inviting it, since she’s never tried to sit anywhere else.

What can she say? When she’s lagging on academic inspiration… well, at least the view’s nice. Impressive that she can turn out a coherent sentence at all with that right across from her, really.

She leans down and retrieves her pencil case. “Uh… hey.”

“So…” There’s a glitter in his ludicrously blue eyes that has nothing to do with the reflection from his computer. “Come here often?”

“Somehow,” she murmurs as she goes back to typing, “too often, and not often enough.”

Blond guy snorts. “Yeah. I get that. Thesis writing is its own special kind of hell.”

“Amen to that.”

“No, but really. I think I’ve seen you here every day. I know how you take your tea, your favourite cup soup and everything. Seems weird that I haven’t said hello before now.”

“Not weird,” she tells him. “We’re in a silent study room, after all.”

“Maybe.” He shoves away from his desk and pushes the sleeves of his henley up to his elbows; Katniss watches every sordid inch of it. “But you’re the closest thing I have to a best friend since I started this program, so I guess I felt a little guilty.”

“Well, don’t hog all the blame,” she says, and he laughs. Her cheeks go warm — too warm — so she refocuses on the keyboard and taps out a sentence that’s probably nonsense that she’ll have to delete later. “I could have opened my mouth, too.”

“Plenty of it to go around, I’m sure.” He smiles at her, and the whole thing in combination, his ridiculous face with that ridiculous jawline, the bright blue eyes the exact colour of the sky in summertime, and the way his toned forearms flex around the bunched-up fabric of his shirt, she just —

“So,” she says, coughing. “I’m your best friend?”

He shrugs. His shoulders. Ugh. “I think I’ve spent more time here with you in the past year than I have with all my other friends combined. You more than qualify for the position.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s best friend.”

“Their loss, I’m sure.”

“If I’m your best friend, you probably have to say that. Besides, it’s not like I’ve got any competition in here.”

He clears his throat, and the apples of his cheeks go pink. “I don’t think you’d have any competition anywhere.

“You… uh, you due a break any time soon?” he asks, before she can make any sense of what he just told her. “I was gonna go scope out the food vans for some lunch. That one that makes the melty subs is back.”

She makes a weird noise like a wistful sigh. “I do like that one. Can’t go wrong with cheese and bread.”

He grins even wider. “I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Whatever that means. She glances at the little clock in the corner of her computer. She’s been working non-stop for the past four hours. Her tea is long gone. And she didn’t bring her apparently trademark cup soup with her today, either.

“Guess I’m due,” she says eventually.

Blond guy smiles, with just the right touch of sweetness that she can just about feel her teeth rot. In a good way. “I hear it’s not uncommon for best friends to grab a meal together.”

She quirks a brow at him. “But it might be if those friends don’t even know each other’s names yet.”

He laughs again, the sound warm and rich as a hot chocolate. “True. I’m Peeta,” he says, holding his hand across their desks. “Peeta Mellark.”

She takes it and blinks at the literal spark that flares between them. Not just for the fairy-tales, apparently. “It’s Katniss. And I swear if you lump me with a shitty nickname like the ones I know you’re thinking of, you can find a new best friend.”

He laughs and kicks out of his chair. “Come on. You don’t want to be Peeta-Bread and Kitty-Kat?”

Totally against her will, she smiles, and so does he, like he’s won something huge. The whole thing might be a bit more tolerable if he’s making an ass out of himself, too. Presuming she’s going to go along with this charade, of course.

“Better than Catnip, I guess.”

“Who called you Catnip?”

“Just some douche back home.”

“Sounds like an asshole.”

“Sure was. But wow, listen to us bitch and moan about long-forgotten dudes from my childhood.”

Peeta beams. “You’d think we’ve been friends our whole lives.”

“I expect you’ll want to know all the deep stuff next.”

“We’ll go slow. I’ll find out your favourite colour another day. Now, come on.” He circles around to her side of the desk and pulls her gently to standing. He’s not as tall as she thought, but she kind of likes being able to see his stupid, gorgeous face without inflicting significant neck trauma. Kind of really likes it. “The line at the van isn’t getting any shorter.”

“I think I liked it better when I didn’t have a best friend.”

She’s horrified to realise she’s lying.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaygifts #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #fan fic #by ally147writes

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dreamcatcherjiah · 5 years

Text

HOME PART 18 (W) ✏️

Today you were seeing Namjoon again. After nearly a month, today was the day you were gonna see him again. Your heart had been beating way faster than normal ever since you woke up and it was an awful distraction at work. You couldn’t focus on a single task, and the only thing you could do was run every possible scenario through your mind. It shouldn’t be like this. You were friends, you clicked, something that hadn’t happened to you since long before you moved to Seoul. He got you. He had been the first person you had told about the pain you felt when you gave up your dreams when you had to give up books for a computer. That alone was something you weren’t willing to give up too. Namjoon was your person. And he saw you as a friend, you weren’t about to destroy that because everyone thought you made a cute couple.

It had started simple. Heri jokingly saying she shipped you both, J-Hope and that joke about the wedding album. But things as simple as those had gotten you thinking. And when they left for their Japan promotions, not being able to see Namjoon for weeks, you realized something. You liked him, perhaps as more than a friend, but maybe that was just your subconscious missing affection after you had been single for so long. During the first week of his absence, you were able to rationalize your feelings this way. And then you face timed for the first time, and just seeing his face, his sleepy eyes after a tiring day, the way his face lit up when you told him you had missed him. That night after you hanged up, you realized you’d been in denial. You liked him as more than a friend, but it couldn’t be. “You’re literally my best friend” he’d said on numerous occasions. So, you just swallowed this realization and kept on with the farce. Then you talked to your dad and he was there for you even though he was many kilometers away. He cried with you that night, telling you how useless he felt, not being able to hug your pain away, not being able to make your tears disappear. So, he played Mono and told you how important you were to him. He told you to play their music when you were feeling sad so that he could be closer to you every day. And you did; his voice was with you when your stress became too big to ignore, when the nightmares plagued your sleep, or when you silently cried looking at the ceiling.

It was during his absence that you realized just how much he deserved the recognition and how proud you were of the place the seven of them had made for themselves. Just imagining the sleepless nights practicing, the days it took them to find the right word for a song, the blood, sweat, and tears they had spilled to get from the bottom to the top, made you want to hug them so tight and never let go. They were truly an inspiration.

Thinking this, your day at the office came and went and it was already time to meet your sister and take her to the BigHit Building. She had no idea you were going to meet BTS, you’d just told her you had a reservation in a very prestigious restaurant to celebrate her coming to Korea. She had been so excited and thankful it almost made you feel bad for lying to her. Almost. She was waiting for you in the lobby, dressed so prettily you envied her confidence and looking at you with her big eyes.

“I was about to go up to drop-kick your boss’ ass for kidnapping you.” She said jokingly. She was totally calm and you were interested in seeing how long that calm would last.

You took her to the parking lot and looked for the car Namjoon told you would be waiting for you. Once you found it, it took some convincing to get your sister to enter as she was getting more and more suspicious by the minute. “Your job pays better than I thought if you had the money to hire a driver” she even told you when the car left the company.

You sent a text to the group chat, letting the guys know you were on your way. Nervous as you were, the text was concise and short, but you were satisfied as it conveyed your message.

Fifteen minutes later, the car entered another parking lot and the engine switched off. Your sister now was looking at you as if you had kidnapped her and taken her to an unknown location to kill her. Nothing further from the truth, but she didn’t know that.

“If I didn’t know you better,” she said “I would ask you if dad had anything to do with this and you are conspiring to put my ass on a plane and send me back home… But I haven’t had time to visit half the places I want to, so I would fight you.”

The smile she had on her face was eerie and it reminded you somehow of the Cheshire cat, so you were fast to reassure her that, to get to the place where you were going to eat, you needed to ride an elevator from the basement. That made a normal curious look appear on her face and you calmed a bit.

While riding the elevator, your heart was milliseconds away from jumping out of your chest. You knew the guys would be waiting on the other side of those doors once they opened and, yes meeting the other six members in person was unnerving and you were excited about your sister’s reaction, but Namjoon was what you were worried about. Your own reaction to him, more like. Now that you had accepted you liked him; you were worried that you were going to make your first encounter in weeks more awkward than it should be. You tried calming down because if your sister saw you fidgeting, she would find out sooner and the surprise the guys had worked so hard on preparing wouldn’t work.

The elevator slowly stopped and the doors started opening, and your heart stopped. He was right there, behind Jungkook and Jimin, smiling at you with such a happy face, with his dimples showing that you forgot about everything else. You forgot about your sister, who was looking from one face to the next in utter shock, and about the rest of the guys, who were highly amused and didn’t know whether to look at your sister or at you. You dropped your bag to the ground and went out of the elevator so fast Namjoon didn’t have time to react before you were hugging him and hiding your fate on his chest. The only thing you thought to say was a really small “I missed you”.

This seemed to break the awkward atmosphere when your sister looked at you both with eyes as large as saucers and shouted “SO HE WAS THE KNJ WHO HAS BEEN TAKING YOU ON DATES THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU DIDN’T THINK ON MENTIONING IT?! WOAH, LOYALTY REALLY IS DEAD!”

The silence that followed was broken when all nine of you started laughing and the tension finally flew out of the window. Introductions were made and questions asked. Your sister was in a trance, she wasn’t able to look at any of the seven men in the face and she kept snapping an elastic she wore on her wrist. During dinner, she was the quietest you’d seen her since she had been little and answered all the questions with either a yes or a no. That was until a shy Jungkook thought to ask whether she had a bias or not. Her head raised fast as lighting and said, very proud: “Bangtan has seven members, so I love all seven just as much.” Right after her cheeks got really red, only to get redder when Yoongi said laughing that after that statement it was clear as water that her bias was Taehyung and someone pass him the kimchi.

Namjoon had been quiet during diner as well, barely looking at you, not even when you thanked them on behalf of your yet again speechless sister for the album they had signed for her. Even when the night was coming to an end and the guys were giving you a tour of their studios, he lagged behind looking distant and in his own world. With a comeback so close, you knew how busy he must have been, so the fact that you were stopping him from working made you feel so bad.

“And last, but not least,” chanted a happy Taehyung, who was acting as a tour guide for your sister, for the amusement of the rest of the band, “here is our practice room! We spend so much time here that I don’t know why we still need a dorm, but isn’t it cool?”

It was huge, with a mirrored wall and the last equipment, nothing less for the best. The guys joked around for a while and asked you and Namjoon for your phones to take pictures. You and your sister hugged and she beamed to the camera when it was her turn to take a picture with BTS. This was going to be the happiest day of her life and you knew that.

You were finally leaving, staying a bit behind to be able to talk to Namjoon when there was a commotion at the door and the seven guys, including Namjoon behind you, started screaming not to let the door close. You were so distracted by so many voices coming from different directions that you were too slow and the door slammed shut in front of you.

The guys on the other side said to stay put, that they were going to go down to the security desk and warn someone and not to worry, but Namjoon was already going at the door full force and cursing colorfully. You had never seen him like this.

“Hey, calm down,” you said putting a hand on his forearm, and trying to mask the hurt when he shook your hand off.

He walked to the centre of the room and sat down with his back to you, like a sulking child. The image was so funny that you started laughing, maybe not the best idea if he was not in a joking mood. His head turned to you, with wide eyes and looked even angrier than when the door had slammed shut.

“What’s gotten into you today? You have been so quiet!”

You were starting to get worried, had he discovered something, had you been too obvious about what you felt for him, was the hug too much? All the possibilities for his sour mood were running through your head, making you oblivious to his movements, of how he got up and faced you. His words, however, got you out of your contemplative mood very efficiently.

“I’m sick and tired of your conformist personality and your astounding lack of ambition. What do you think would happen if you just keep complaining about your job, huh? That something will magically happen and you’ll have your dream job handed to you?”

You were taken aback by the harshness with which those words were pronounced. Namjoon was the sweetest, most understanding person you’d ever known and you had explained to him what was it exactly that had forced you to let go of your dream. You’d initially graduated university with flying colours, ready to take the world by storm you had studied a masters in editing and started an internship in a really good editorial, not one year after graduating. But the internship didn’t pay the bills, there was no prospect of you getting a promotion by the end of it, and your little sister was showing signs of being a prodigy with a brush. A prodigy’s education was expensive and your parents couldn’t keep up. Sarah had enough expenses with her pregnancy and getting ready for a new member of her family so you put on your big girl’s jeans and started working on everything, around the clock to help out at home. That was until your father told you were more of a bother and took it upon himself to find you a job that would allow you to fend for yourself and for them to only pay your sister’s expenses.

After telling him this, it hurt you deeply how Namjoon was being so quick to judge your lack of ambition, as he called it, and after all, you didn’t even know what had triggered this attack.

“What the hell? You know why I gave up. Forget it,” you said; even though he was getting on your nerves at the moment, you were still happy to see him, “let’s wait for the guys, I don’t want to fight.”

“The hell we’re gonna wait. I want you to open your eyes! Taking care of your sister is great, but for God’s sake that job is going to kill you and you just had the courage to tell your sister that you love what you do? Stop being a coward and start fighting for what you want! If you keep this up, everyone is going to step on you, and you would deserve that they did!”

The fact that he called you a coward crossed the line, and in your head, there was only a voice saying “hurt him like he hurt you right now”.

“Yeah, right because it’s so easy. Fighting for one’s dream” you said, making big quotation marks with your fingers, “I am not the one who’s had it all handed to him, the one who happened to know a famous rapper one night and, VOILA! You suddenly were given the chance! That’s not how the real world works Namjoon!” Your finger was suddenly jamming into his chest, not knowing what you were doing, not seeing the hurt in his eyes, you continued; “They just look at you with pity in their eyes! Wow, poor thing, look at her, so young and so tired! What do you think she does for a living? She looks miserable, like a zombie! Well, let me tell you something Namjoon, not all of us are millionaires by the age of twenty-five and can afford running after our dreams. That’s just not realistic!”

Hurt and with tears running down your cheeks, you turned at the noise of the door opening. Hearing shouting, the guys had decided to stop with the foolery and open the door. You took the chance and grabbed your sister by the hand dragging her to the elevator and out of the building. You didn’t expect betrayal to hurt this much, yet you cried.

HOME: Namjoon x Reader // social media au

Part 17 x Part 18 x Next

Plot: Y/N always wanted to do something worth living for. Be it singing, dancing, teaching. But after a huge fight with her parents, Y/N accepts that whatever dreams she may have had are not realistic. She accepts a job in her father’s company and moves to Korea to start a new branch of the business. But what will happen when she gets to know a rapper who advocates for self-love and following one’s dream and his six chaotic brothers?

a/n: Hello sweets!! As I told you yesterday I was having a bit of trouble with this part. It is more or less decent according to my standards, but some feedback would be welcomed as I have never written something like this. Thank you so much for your support and welcome if you have just discovered HOME. Love 💜🌙 Tag list: @threedecadesofawkward @rjsmochii @luvelyjjk @okaysoplshelpme @sakurauchiha2018 @annyeongerica @thebleuprince

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ahiddenpath · 4 years

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My Favorite Writing Stuff

One of the best things about writing is that all you need is a pen and paper! But we all have our favorite tools and luxuries, and I thought it might be fun to talk about mine below the cut. Lotsa pics, long post.

Word Processors

Scrivener

The single writing item I use most is my word processor, Scrivener, by Literature and Latte. At some point waaaaaay back in 2012, I found myself writing Growing Up with You in Microsoft Word... And having to wait ten seconds for the screen to adjust and load new text as I scrolled. It was just too danged long for the program to handle. Just reading my manuscript was a nightmare, let alone copying and pasting to move text, shuffle paragraphs, etc. Making a new doc for each chapter quickly became a clunky chore.

THEN I FOUND SCRIVENER, AND IT’S THE BEST.

Scrivener is... not very user friendly; there’s definitely a learning curve. But it was immediately so much better for writing long fiction than Word that I bought a book on the program and read it from cover to cover, which... I don’t think I’ve ever done before. That’s how much of a game changer this was.

The feature I rely on most is the binder.

This is the binder for Four Years, which currently has... Forty-eight chapters. I corralled the chapters into two folders, one for the first year of college (1), and one for the second (2).

If I click folder 1, all of the chapters appear, each snug in their own folder. Once the Scrivener file loads, there is no further loading time. Each folder can be moved by clicking and dragging, as can each text file inside each folder. FREEDOM!

This feature alone was worth the price of the program. They offer a free trial, so please check it out if you’re interested!

Portable Word Processors

I’ve mentioned these before, but I have two portable gadgets that allow me to write on the go, distraction free.

Alpha Smart Neo 2

This might look like the baby of a toddler’s toy computer and a keyboard, but it’s actually my baby.

Just kidding! Sort of! The Alpha Smart Neo 2 is a portable word processor that boots up in a second, is powered by three AA batteries for eons, and weighs about 2 pounds. They are no longer in production (which is a crime), but there are oodles available on Ebay for about $20-30.

(I used to own and talk about my Alpha Smart 3000. The Alpha Smart Neo 2 is the latest model before the company shut down, and the keyboard is nicer; it’s quieter and easier on the fingers).

I honestly can’t say enough about this device. I rarely draft on a computer anymore; it’s just too easy to find yourself surfing the web, falling down a research vortex, or even reading your manuscript instead of writing. Alpha Smarts can remember what you wrote until you delete it. That’s it. That’s all they do. It’s beautiful.

I write about 800 words/hr on a computer. I write about 1,500 words/hr on an Alpha Smart. Distractions are so, so real.

When you’re ready to port your writing from your Alpha Smart to your word processor, all you have to do is connect a printer cable to your Alpha Smart, then plug the usb end into your computer. Open your word processor, turn on your Alpha Smart, select the file you want to transfer, and hit send. If you forget any of this, it’s written on the back of the Alpha Smart.

I know that no one should blame their success or failure on their tools, but... I wouldn’t be able to write nearly as much without my Alpha Smart. And if you ever do writing meet ups, you’ll be the only person who isn’t fighting for a power outlet! It also fits easily into a tote bag or backpack.

Oh, Alpha Smart Neo 2. My partner and friend!

Freewrite

The Freewrite by Astrohaus is... um. Well, it’s a lot like the Alpha Smart Neo 2, except that it’s waaaay more expensive, much harder to use, and has terrible firmware.

There are cool things about it, for sure! For one, it has this weird... Pseudo typewriter feel. It’s much larger and heavier than an Alpha Smart, and I’m not sure that I actually consider it portable... But the thick, angled base practically functions as a lap desk. It’s comfortable to use and has a nice mechanical keyboard.

It has wifi capability, so you can send drafts directly to your dropbox/cloud/email, no cords or transfers needed. The screen is an e-ink scree, like a Kindle Paperwhite, easy on the eyes and readable in the sun. It’s also backlit, which is the one major win over the Alpha Smart.

I bought mine used off ebay for a fraction of the list price (this thing is NOT worth $600 on any planet, goodness gracious mercy dang! I paid about $180), and, um... I still don’t know if it was worth it, not when I can buy an Alpha Smart Neo 2 for $30 tops. I mean, I like the e-ink and the backlit screen, but... There’s a lag between typing and the words populating on the screen. There are no arrows to fix a typo. I had to send 10 emails back and forth to tech support to get it updated and working. It was not broken, and I understood all the directions... It’s just god awful firmware. I also lost a draft because it wipes your device if you open their Sprinter program while using your Freewrite.

I still use it, though! The tactile sensation is really nice, the keys make a satisfying clickety clackety, the E-ink screen is lovely, I adore the option to write in a not-that-well-lit room, and the wifi transfer is faster than my Alpha Smart’s wired method. But I still can’t recommend it as long as Alpha Smart Neo 2s are available, not unless you’re some combination of the following: a writing nut who writes so gosh dang much that these toys are worth it, someone who is big on tactile sensation, someone who likes hipster stuff, or someone who would love an Alpha Smart but can’t read the electronic screen well. If this is you, make sure you also have a strong grasp on how to talk to and understand tech support, because you will need them.

Just never ever EVER open Sprinter...

Notebooks

Leuchtturm1917, hard cover, A5, dotted

MAY I INTRODUCE YOU TO MY LOVE, THE LEUCHTTURM NOTEBOOK.

WHERE DO I EVEN START.

The Leuchtturm is... Just the best. The hard cover takes abuse well, stickers hold onto it nicely, it has two ribbon bookmarks and an elastic closure, there’s a folder attached to the back inside cover... The dot version is unobtrusive and encourages smaller writing, which helps the notebook last. And it is available in a rainbow of colors!

The paper is lovely, the pages are numbered, and IT HAS AN INDEX.

I’m a scientist, and working in a Leuchtturm is just like working in a fancy, expensive lab notebook. The set up is done already, man. You just gotta jot down what pages contain what. IT’S SO ORGANIZED, with almost zero effort! Mi amor.

Sure, I could make an index page and number all of my pages manually... But I’ve met myself. I won’t do it. When you combine all of these lovely features, you have one unbeatable notebook.

Plus, they’re easy to obtain in the states! I order them off Amazon or buy them at my local Barnes & Nobles.

Midori MD Notebook, A5, grid

The Midori has even nicer quality paper than the Leuchtturm, but the cover can’t take abuse, and it lacks the nice features. I truly appreciate the paper quality, but the other features bring me back to my Leuchtturms every time.

It’s a Japanese item and is more difficult to import to the states. You can get them off Amazon, though!

Pens

I use Uni-ball Signo 207 gel pens. They write comfortably, and using them feels satisfying. They should be available in most Walmart/Target type stores, at least in the states!

It should be noted that I’m just not a pen buff. I tried fountain pens, and it was more trouble than it was worth for me.

Folios/Traveler’s Notebooks

Okay, so you found the perfect notebook! Wanna make it SUPER DUPER FANCY PANTS?! Well, you could try a traveler’s notebook.

I only learned what a traveler’s notebook is about a year ago, so if you’re also in the dark... It’s a leather cover that holds notebooks inside with elastic. I own these chic sparrows, one for my Midori notebook (or whatever notebook I’m using at the time), and one for my journal.

My full name is etched into them, so please pardon my censorship XD

The chic sparrow traveler’s notebooks are so elegant and decadent and... I won’t lie, I literally move one or both around the house with me, just so I can look at them.

The one on the left is a Mr. Darcy deluxe, size A5, in the Wickham color. The one on the right is an Enchanted Woods deluxe, size A5, in the Elderwood color.

They have lots of pockets on the inside, a pen loop, and elastics to hold multiple notebooks. This one is strung with a Midori notebook. I also have a smaller B6 one that I use as a wallet! It holds a small notebook, so I can write down those ideas that always happen when I’m out and don’t have paper. The pockets hold IDs, credit cards, and cash.

It’s just this... magical, opulent item. While it’s likely the least practical thing on this list, it’s very special to me.

Lap Desks

I HAVE A HARRY POTTER RAVENCLAW STORAGE DESK FROM POTTERY BARN AND I FEEL LIKE A WITCH WHEN I USE IT.

Oh dear, I took a terrible picture, it looks so lovely in person.

The top can slide in both directions, revealing enough storage for several A5 notebooks, pens, and more. It’s a great way to cart your stuff into your favorite cozy nook for a writing session. Plus, you’ll feel like a Hogwarts student! It’s available in all four house designs, plus a Hogwarts crest version.

Pottery Barn puts these on sale occasionally. I’d aim for 25% off before buying.

My Writing Bag

I decked out a tote bag in writing pins to carry my Alpha Smart, thesaurus, a notebook, and pens. You can use any bag, as long as it accommodates what you need! Here are my fave sources for writing-related pins:

Literary Emporium, who makes my favorite pin, “Still I Rise,” a Maya Angelou quote. They have the most gorgeous pins.

When life gives you lemons, read them, advice for the ages

And fandom:

Digivice pin

My beloved Sailor Moon pin, the loveliest pin I’ve ever seen (not shown because it lives on my Sailor Moon jacket!). All of the inner senshi are available!

THAT’S ALL, THAT WAS SO MUCH. Please let me know if you try any of these out!

#writing #writing supplies #my favorite writing stuff #my writing stuff #faves

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