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#i literally cant stop drinking
uzumakisasuke · 9 hours
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today i woke up with a sore throat and called out of work, only to then sleep in until 12 and when i woke up again it was gone, and then later i locked myself out of my car and definitely overpaid the locksmith for bailing me out (he was really nice but i still shouldnt have paid that much 😣) but honestly. it was still a better day than having to go into work
#i wanna quit so bad i cant take it anymore like i literally hate it so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#but i have these stupid BILLS. blast it all....#ej.txt#i don't know why but i cant force myself to just see it as a means to an end or like a way to survive.#i cant dissociate my way through each shift i just suffer through every minute i'm there fully present and i hate it so much...#like it's the main place where i have ocd symptoms like the food safety obsessions and compulsions make every day so hard..#bc i'm always picking up after others. closing ice bins and putting away milks and wiping counters and rinsing blenders etc...#plus i have social anxiety and no intuitive understanding of social rules so every customer interaction feels like driving manual#plus 75-90% of the customers are either stupid or mean or slow or loud and i know certain things shouldnt upset me but they do.#plus we're always understaffed and often are spread too thin in order to save the company's bottom fucking line#plus i can only really stand working with two of my shift managers bc the other two stress me out unnecessarily#and the way one of them acts so high strung all the time and runs around doesnt even make our times any better so it just makes me mad#like if youre going to run around me finishing my drinks 4 me when i was already right there in the middle of my sequence at least make it-#-WORTH IT but no you're just making the energy of the floor all bad for no good reason and interrupting my flow. UGH#like i just can't take it i don't know what to do. i'm losing my mind working there#PLUS i'm always overheating so bad 😭😭😭 i have to wear shirts with collars bc my apron feels too uncomfortable if i don't have a collar#so i usually wear a short sleeved collared shirt and shorts and a hat or beanie and a mask and an apron#but i sweat so bad and get so hot#and i always get wet bc shit (usually ice) spills on the counters and my arms are short so i have to lean up against the counter to reach#the syrups or whatever so my apron gets wet and then my shirt gets wet and it feels so gross#my hands get sticky so i always have to wash them and the counters get gross with liquids and toppings so.i always have to be wiping them#like it is literally a specific cocktail of hell for my brain#BUT I CAN'T ESCAPE IT. RAAHAGHH#okay sorry. it's been a long day and im just thinking about how i have to open on friday and my coworker just asked me if i could#cover one of her shifts but it's a clean play which goes until 11:30pm but my availability is only until 4pm#but she's only asking because she has to go to a funeral so i feel guilty for wanting to say ''no i can't because i don't want to''#so i can't stop thinking about work bc i haven't responded yet and i feel shitty about it
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yutamayo · 8 months
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jestroer · 26 days
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Anyone interested in my life and who seen my previous post about trying to quit caffeine, I did quit it fully in the last month in a half!
Did it help me in anxiety, fatigue and insomnia department? Not at all actually! Not even a little I don't think! It was a solid try on my part tho!
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tbos-main · 3 months
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drako is so fucking silly i love him so much
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boycattj · 10 months
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how do people . do work. hang out w others. and have time to themselves. and still remember to eat/drink . i dont understand
#um . tw for describing my eating habits in the tags ? ig idk >#and tw for ed mentions cuz i have that also >#also weight stuff since thats a part of it >#but . i guess ive been realizing truly how Little i eat nowadays. like its kinda nuts#and i also dont drink nearly enough water/anything#like . yesterday. i had a sandwich. at about 8pm. and aside from a handful of chips kr whatever. i didnt eat anyrhinf else that day#i havent eaten much today either .... but i actually like whats fir dinner today so i will eat eventually#its just like. even when i literally make myself food and bring it up w me to eat while i do homework/draw/write/whatever . i just forget ab#about it until it gets cold and gross and i cant eat it snymore.#i would say its my meds making me not wanna eat but isnt that side effect supposed to eventually wear off as u continue to take it?#idk#i havent been dropping weight that much anymore. i actually went up a few pounds in the past month or so and have been plateauing there for#a while. but. i do look skinnier than i have in a While even tho im a handful kf lbs more than i was at my lowest.#my guess would b that i have more muscle now . not a lot. obviously. but definitely more.#like i even have a semblance of a thigh gap. somerhing i was just barely getting to at my lowest weight.#Anyway. ive stopped dropping like. 1-3lbs a month. which is good. honestly tho i'd like to drop at least 3-5 more . which is unhealthy. But.#yeah idk im . disordered . even tho my ed hasnt really . been a huge problem for me lately. but thats probably jusr cuz i havent been eatin#eating much or thinking about eating so i have nothing to beat myself up over .#ok tangent over i will stop being insanely mentally ill on the dashboard 🫶🏻#mj.txt
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wastelandhell · 1 year
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deranged rambling
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months
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ik a mention rgg nerfing ttm's features when modelin sawashiro every five minutes but they really had to cause aint no way in hell would a been intimated by this bruv if they didnt
#snap chats#oh im fucked i really put 'a' instead of 'i'. whatever thats how i pronounce it we goin phonetic baby#did ou know i remember abolutely nothing about the ending of drive. i watched it while drinking two soju#DO NOT RECOMMEND by responsible#to totally contradict myself im drinkin nigori i bought . i didnt know alcohol cold frreeze and i accidentally froze it ☠️☠️☠️#iiii ALOMST knocked my cup over ohmy gd#moving on. legality to say soem BULLSHIT noowt ho#anyway n o lsien to me ttm's 38 in this movie and sawashiro's 38 in 2000. probably. i cant do math rn Or Ever point is About Same Age#this IS from drive. great movie. and this is one of his cuter/sillier roles imo so awkward comp but ill still speak#main text got me lying i was out of pocket seeing bro frame 1 anyways but it woulda been a diff vibe this route lsten to me#hes just too cute bro . bye. fymhes an antagonist hes too cte for that <- his filmography prves otherwise#gon try to start an argument with me what you gon do mate kiss me ??? enough.#i like how ttm just has A Vibe to him. Apparently. he always playin awkward mates.... back then anyway..#postman blues did him so dirty bein all 'slender-framed mates are more prone to socipathy' LKE LEAVE HIM ALONNNE#wehhh i wish they mocapped his facial expressions more accuraltey in rgg. and his teeth. his smle still cute to me..#i sound lke my mom when she talks bout lee joongi whenever i talk bout ttm ew lke bye. stop#ok im going bak to playing mincraft now bye#oh my gd when did it become 2AM literally suck my ween
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haemosexuality · 3 months
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one thing that always made me doubt my autism self diagnosis is special interests. my life has always been dictated by my very strong hyperfixations (since i was a baby!), but those are different from SI and i felt like nothing that i had matched the description of special interests. but i just fucking realized. that my special interest is English
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cosmicrhetoric · 1 month
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gotta say ive been getting a lot more starbucks ads and pushed content over the last two weeks as if a leaked spring menu could sway people to give up the boycott but out of everything ive seen....this is true desperation
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geffenrecords · 2 months
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realizing I like don't mean anything to anyone in school....super weird man....
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ittybittybumblebee · 5 months
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New Guy could easily a tragic character if you think too long about isome things abt them but Zeyre not theyre genuinly not they could be but. AUGH i fhav a lot of feelings about guy you dont underSTAND shes a cartoon character she operates on funny cartoon character software you cant break him like that you COULD but hes a silly bendy straw you cant unbend it you cantAugh thats not . AUGH AUGH AUGH silly character runnign from everything but is genuinly having fun in life even thought theyr being an asshat and destroying stuff n playing harmful pranks in every town they come to n stuff lmao how canni even begin to convey this you dont GET IT
Its SILLY
SHES a CREEP hes A WEIRDO THEY DONT BELONG HERE
and thats fine By Xer. Completely. They exatterate and draw attention to it in every way possible and its part of its defining qualities that xe celebrate it and are happy in his own freaky way AND
And
And t tthey fucking HATE people they dont like you but if you met it screaming running down the sidewalk she would stop and say HIIIIII GIRLIEPOP DRANK ANY WINDSHEILD FLUID LATELY? YOU FREAKIN SHOULD DUDE ! ITS BONKERS NASTY (GOOD) BYEEEEEEEEEEE
Do you Get me you Cant get me the way i need you to . AUGH
Anyway thats all im going to go have pizza for suppperrrrrrrrr haha lol
* Im screaming at you btw and then turning around and walking away visibly shaking like i have the whole big whide world on my shoulders and its Crushing me to smithereeens
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jemmo · 5 months
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someone needs to lock me up.
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nomaishuttle · 11 months
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ooo im all wobbly now. good thing i am out of beer Lest the evil demon who livedin my head
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greyeyedmonster-18 · 1 year
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(Oh, adding to my: reasons houston is the fucking worst—
I was given PEANUTBUTTER WHISKEY there
1) allergic to nuts
2) should be a crime?????
i didnt think to ask “what is this??” because PEANUTBUTTER WHISKEY is the last fucking thing i was thinking about and when i saw gold, assumed tequila— ya know like a normal person.
cue a Not Fun Time after.
anyway, houston sucks, the end.)
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aloysarrow · 1 year
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The sudden shaking and I can feel my heartbeat just ramp up over a NOTHING SCARY part of a game, why am I so anxious??
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sadisticmystical · 11 months
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