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#i literally asked my therapist to give me a tight hug after our session today
captain-josslett · 3 years
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Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three
Masterlist
Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?
Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)
Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?
Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias
This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.
Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!
Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.
Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom
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A Week Before The Surgery
Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.
Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.
Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.
But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.
Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.
Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.
As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.
Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.
Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.
“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.
Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-
Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.
‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.
Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.
Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.
“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.
The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.
‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.
“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”
The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.
Alistair was correct… She was right on time.
‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.
“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.
As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.
‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.
“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.
Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.
“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.
Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.
‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.
“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.
‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.
“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.
‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-
“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.
‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.
“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.
‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’
“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”
-- -- --
During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment
Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.
Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.
Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.
For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.
‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.
No new messages from Lena.
Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.
Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.
So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.
What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.
“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.
Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.
Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.
“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.
“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.
“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”
Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.
Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.
Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.
“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.
Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.
When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.
Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.
Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.
“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.
The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.
“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.
Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.
“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.
Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.
-- -- --
Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.
“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”
‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.
“Have you tried asking Lena further?”
‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’
Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”
Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.
“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.
‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.
“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”
Emma nods.
“More than usual, less or about the same?”
‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’
“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.
“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”
‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’
Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.
And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.
‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’
“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.
‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’
“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”
Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’
“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”
Emma nods.
“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”
Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.
“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.
‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.
The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.
“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”
‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.
“How are you feeling about that?”
‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’
“Terrified? About the procedure?”
Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.
“Emma?”
‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’
“How so?”
‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’
“And if that happens?”
Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?
“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”
Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’
“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”
Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.
‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.
“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”
Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.
Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.
“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”
‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.
Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.
“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.
Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.
“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.
Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.
‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.
Nothing happens.
“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.
“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.
‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.
“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”
The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.
She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.
Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”
The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.
“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.
‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.
“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”
‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.
“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”
‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.
“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”
Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.
‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.
“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.
‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.
“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”
Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.
“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.
‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’
“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.
Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.
What’s going on?
Did she have powers?
How could that be?
Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.
She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.
As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.
“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.
But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.
“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.
“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.
Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.
Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”
“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.
“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.
Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.
Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.
“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.
“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.
“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.
“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.
Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.
“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”
Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.
“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.
“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”
The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.
“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.
As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.
Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”
“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”
Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.
“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.
“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.
“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.
“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.
Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.
Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.
“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”
“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.
“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.
“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”
“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.
“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.
“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.
“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.
“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”
“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.
Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.
“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”
“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”
“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”
“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”
“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.
“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”
“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”
“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”
“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”
The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.
Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.
“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.
“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”
“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”
Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”
“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”
“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.
“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.
But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.
“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”
Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.
“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.
Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.
“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”
“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.
“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”
Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”
“Chinese and pizza.”
“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”
“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.
“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.
“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.
“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”
But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”
“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.
“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.
“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.
“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.
“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.
“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.
“Thanks Em.”
The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.
When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.
‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’
But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.
The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.
“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.
Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”
Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.
“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.
“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.
“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”
“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.
“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.
“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.
“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.
“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.
“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.
Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”
Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.
The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.
When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.
“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.
Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.
“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.
Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.
“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”
“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.
She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”
Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”
“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.
Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.
“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.
“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.
“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.
Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.
Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.
They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.
Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.
“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.
“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.
“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.
Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.
“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.
The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.
In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.
“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.
Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.
“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.
“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.
“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.
“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”
“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.
Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.
“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.
“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”
She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.
“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.
“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.
Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.
“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.
Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.
“But then it's not a movie marathon!”
“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.
“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.
“Emma was signing to you.”
“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.
“But then it's not a movie marathon.”
“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”
“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.
‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.
“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”
“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.
Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.
“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.
“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.
“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.
“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.
Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.
‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’
Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.
Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.
‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.
“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”
Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.
“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.
Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.
Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.
“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.
“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.
“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.
-- -- --
Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.
“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.
“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”
“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.
“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.
“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.
“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.
They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.
When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.
“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.
Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.
“Are you okay?”
Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?
“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.
Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’
“I’m nervous about next week.”
“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.
But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”
“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.
“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”
Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.
Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.
Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.
“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.
But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.
Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?
As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.
(Part Thirty Four)
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supergirl-writingz · 4 years
Text
Kidnapped Part 2
B!D deals with recovery.
Note: the doctor being named dr grey isnt actually like mer or lexie i literally just watch too much greys and couldnt think of another name haha also THANK U FOR BEING SO PATIENT W ME im really proud of this fic tbh and i hope u guys like it:) remember requests are always open
Warning: trauma, anxiety, therapy
It’s been about one week since you were rescued. You were doing okay. Everyone was trying to convince you to see someone, to talk about what you went through. You didn’t get why. You realized you have been through something tragic, but wouldn’t it be easier to just put it in the past? 
Physically, you still had a long way to go. You were still cooped up at the DEO and you would be for a little bit longer. You had bruises everywhere, 2 broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken bone in your foot. But Lena assured you that you were healing properly. You trusted her.
Your least favorite part about everything, was the way people were treating you. They treated you as if you were glass, and if they spoke to loud or even held your hand, they would break you. You didn’t feel broken and you didn’t get why everyone wanted you to be. Lena was the only one who would tell you things how they were, straightforward with no holding back. You appreciated it. 
Lena walked into the room, “Hey hun can we talk?”
You nodded, “Of course Lena what’s up?”
Lena sat at the edge of your bed, “Darling I think you need to see someone, you-”
“Not you too” you interrupted rolling your eyes, “I’m fine, I don’t need to see anyone”
Lena was patient with you, with a calm voice she said, “Y/N you can’t keep bottling up your emotions, it’s not healthy. If you don’t let this out you’re gonna have a breakdown. You’re not fine and thats okay.”
“I am fine” you snapped at her.
“Y/N, you are scared to sleep without sedatives and you haven’t talked about what happened to you at all. Let me help you, please talk to me, or Kara or Alex or a specialist. Please”
You turned your head away from her. You were embarrassed but it was true, you were scared of going to bed without them.
“Don’t sedate me tonight, I’ll sleep just fine”
Lena sighed, “Okay”
As she walked out she turned around and said, “You know we’re all just trying to do what’s best for you right?”
You didn’t answer. Lena walked out looking sad and defeated. You felt bad, she’s helped you so much. But you were tired of people saying you weren’t okay. You thought about sleeping tonight without the sedatives, truthfully you were nervous but you didn’t tell anyone. Tonight was Kara’s turn to sleep in your room, and she always made you feel safe. 
Later that night, around 11, you finally fell asleep after tossing and turning for a couple hours. 
All of the sudden you woke up with a start not knowing where you were. You were screaming and your heart rate was through the roof. Kara instantly got up and rushed to you.
“Y/N baby it’s just a dream! You’re okay!” she said calmly but loud enough so it would get through to you.
It didn’t help. You were starting to hyperventilate. Kara put her face directly in front of yours.
“Look at my sweetheart, breathe like I do” Kara said, breathing in and out slowly for me to follow.
You looked Kara in the eyes and started following her breathing. 5 minutes later you were breathing normally. Lena and Alex came rushing in, someone must have called them.
“Baby what happened?” Alex asked with a concerned tone. 
Tears were building up in your eyes, “I- I was back there.. in my dream”.
“The room where it all happened?” Lena asked. You nodded, tears starting to come quicker
“It was so real, I could feel every punch, every kick. It was like I was back there.” you said, at this point you were sobbing. 
Alex came close to you and put her hand to your cheek, “You’re safe now Y/N, he can’t hurt you anymore”
You pulled Alex closer and cried into the crook of her neck. While Kara was strong and comforting, there was something about Alex that made you feel powerful and in control. She was such a good directer at the DEO, even if things in her life were bad. Even when everything was going wrong, she had control. You needed that. You needed to be in control of your emotions, but you didn’t know how. You realized now everyone was right, you weren’t okay. But you still didn’t like the idea of seeing a therapist of any kind. You just couldn’t imagine talking to a complete stranger about things you can’t talk about to the people closest to you. 
You started to calm down and stopped crying. You looked up at Lena.
“I’m so sorry Lena”, you said.
“Darling you have nothing to be sorry for” she replied softly.
“I was so rude to you, you were just trying to help” you replied guiltily.
“You’re struggling little one, whether you know it or not, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. After what you’ve been through, we’d be more concerned if you weren’t struggling” Kara said.
“We just want you to feel better and we want you to know you have our constant support” Alex said.
You looked down and smiled softly. You didn’t know what you would do without these people. You didn’t think therapy was for you, but it seems like it would make them feel better, and who knows maybe it would make you feel better too. 
“I’ll see someone”, you said quietly, “if you guys really think it will be good”
Alex smiled and said, “We’re only asking that you try”. 
You got in a couple more hours of sleep before day time had come and it was too bright to sleep. You heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Lena and another woman you didn’t recognize. 
“Hey hun, this is Dr. Grey, she works with people who have been through trauma” Lena said, trying not to overwhelm you.
She smiled a bright smile and said, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you”
You took a breath and remembered how you told Lena and your sisters you would give it a try. 
You reached out your hand and said “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you too”
Dr. Grey shook your hand then told you that Lena or your sisters could stay in the room, or it could be just them. You decided to give it a try alone with Dr. Grey. Lena understood and wished you good luck before leaving. You took a deep breath, talking to this stranger was making you feel anxious. You and Dr. Grey started talking, and quickly you felt more comfortable. You guys didn’t talk much about the kidnapping, she mostly just wanted to know your home and social life. You told her pretty much everything, from your sisters, your friends, Lena, and school. Dr. Grey was pretty easy to talk to. The only time the kidnapping did come up was when she suggested that you talk to your sisters or Lena about what happened. She said if it was out in the open, you might feel better. She made it very clear though that you should wait until you were ready. And just like that, your hour session was over before you knew it.
“Thank you Dr. Grey” you said.
She smiled warmly, “So we’ll be meeting again?”
You returned her smile and nodded. 
About 2 weeks later, you were sitting in your bed at the DEO. You have been seeing Dr. Grey daily and it was helping a lot. All of the sudden Kara walked in and you smiled at her asked her to bring Alex and Lena into the room. Kara smiled and nodded, walking out of the room to get them. A few moments later, the three women walked in. 
“So Dr. Grey thought that I should talk to at least someone about what happened, other than her. And I trust you guys more than anyone, so I want to tell you guys” you say, starting to feel a little anxious.
“That’s very sweet darling but we don’t wanna push you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about” Lena said concerned.
You smiled, “I’m ready”, and they nodded.
You told them everything, from you walking home from school, to the guy grabbing you, to your surroundings, and on and on. You told them how they wanted to know who Supergirl was, and you shot Kara a warm look almost saying, ‘This isn’t your fault’. Kara gave you a small yet guilty smile. You took a deep breath as you started to talk about the torture. Your hands were shaking so Alex grabbed them into hers. You didn’t even realize you were crying until Kara wiped a tear from your cheek. You told them everything... you told them the beatings, about the whips and taser. You told them about the hunger, and how cold it was. You told them how you were so hopped up on drugs, you couldn’t even remember how you got there. 
“The scariest part was when I lost hope, I truly thought I was gonna die there” you said. You finally looked up at them, Kara was crying just as much as you were. Lena and Alex had some tears too, but you could tell they were trying to be strong. You grabbed Kara’s hands and looked her in the eyes.
“But you saved me Kara, you’re the reason I’m still here” you said softly.
Kara pulled you into a hug and you felt her warmth and comfort, which then turned into pain from your ribs.
“Kara.. too tight” you said chuckling.
“Sorry” she laughed immediately letting go. The four of you sat there in silence for a while, enjoying each others company. Dr. Grey was right, you did feel better putting it all out there. 
A few weeks later, you were making great progress. You were still having nightmares, but not every night. The anxiety meds you were taking were starting to help with the panic attacks too. You were still at the DEO, but you were starting to walk around though, with a boot and crutches. Your ribs were almost healed and your concussion was all gone. 
You were doing great with Dr. Grey too. The only thing she was concerned with was that you didn’t want to leave the DEO. Of course you wanted to be at home, but you couldn’t get yourself to step out of the building. You felt safe in there. You had this fear that the man who took you would be out there, even though you knew he was in custody. Everyone tried to get you just to go on a simple walk outside, but your anxiety would kick in before you even got the chance. Today was going to be different, today you were determined to go outside. You haven’t been outside since Kara flew you to the DEO the day of the kidnapping, and you were barely conscious.. but today was different. 
You asked Kara, Alex, and Lena if you could all go on a walk. They gave a little surprised look but didn't say anything, they probably didn’t want you to overthink it, but they realized how big of a deal this was. You guys were having a normal conversation, walking through the DEO. You stopped when you reached the exit. You felt Kara give your hand a little squeeze, letting you know that it’s okay. You took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked outside. 
You were surprised as you felt the fresh air in your lungs. Everything looked greener than you remember. You spent so much time in the DEO, that you forgot there was life outside of the grey and dark building. You looked around at all the people, talking and laughing, and you were amazed at how good it felt. You quickly started to cry and turned back to your sisters and Lena.
“Oh baby why are you crying?” Alex asked softly, “Do you wanna go back inside?”
These were happy tears. 
“I’m finally free from him” you said smiling, wiping the tears from your face. 
They all smiled at you and were so proud of your strength and perseverance. You had a lot to work through still, but this was a break through. This was the first time since the kidnapping, that you were 100% sure that you would make it through this. You pulled them into group hug, silently thanking them for never leaving your side.
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cosmicclownboy · 4 years
Text
"Not that I don't mind our little bonding one to ones but may I ask why we are doing this again?" "So you know that my toxic masculinity bro days are over. Me and Rosa did a quiz today and turns out blue is my spirit colour so let's get to it, Manes". 
Excitedly clapping and inspecting the bottle with his fingers Kyle looks at peace so who is Alex to object to it. He can't say teen Alex expected this friendship to flourish again let alone be sitting in Kyle's apartment with a bottle of red painting Kyle's nails with a shade called Sultry Sapphire. But Alex knows more than anyone that adaptability is a huge part of life. Change is inevitable. And this is a change that he's glad for. It doesn't feel weird or out of place. It feels almost like he's slowly refinding everything he once lost. Jenga tournaments as kids turned into drinking games and poker and fishing turned into going to the same gym. Eventually, Isobel fishes out which gym and excitedly exclaims gym buddies. It's actually really fun even if he has to witness his training on her Instagram feed. Being in an alien exist clubhouse is difficult him and Kyle have pretty heavy-duty careers and having the most practical sense vs the people in said group who would prod a bear simply to see how it would react well their friendship blossomed. Finishing the last touches he goes for the wine in a latte mug.
"Right this will dry in a couple of minutes. Then it's my turn, Manes. I hope you're ready for iridescent fantasy 69". He almost groans at the choice in colour with swirls of blues, pinks and purples Alex is immediately taken to the pieces in Michael's bunker all shiny and beautiful. Judging by the smirk he gets the Ortecho Valenti sibling team-up happened behind the scenes. "Seriously where did Rosa get these from? there are two women on the front having sex" "Someone she met in rehab - don't ask"
"So....hows things in the dating universe?" "Forest and Liz signed me to Grindr without my permission.....and there's only so many times I can open up a message to see literal junk mail. I also went out on a date with a man who's fetish was sucking toes he seemed unnaturally interested in the prospect of banging a man with only the one foot. Four times. Four times I've been set up with someone with the oddest fetish". This seems to gage a reaction out of Kyle who rolls a little around the floor with a chuckle holding the brush from the nail polish close to his chest trying his best not to sour the rug. "Alex you've spent the last ten years fucking an alien. You have a rain fetish dude and don't even try it Liz told me about your rain scented angst candle sessions" Oh, he is going to have words with Liz. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I got pegged behind a target" Alex groans heavily.
Liz feigns ignorance when Alex corners her in the Crashdown and she, of course, tries to bat her eyelashes at him thinking it'd affect him. He's a man of stone. He will not be immediately forgiving by a kind smile.Nope.Not happening. It at least has to include a free hug and the first round of drinks which occurs a week later dressed in his tightest jeans and Kyle moping because Steph left had him. Liz and Kyle made it to Planet 7 a place Kyle thrives in. "Look it's glitter night Kyle you love glitter night the shots are half off".Liz is doing her best to brighten the mood despite her own romantic failings anytime the name Max is spoken she looks haunted. And hey who is he gonna judge he knows how easy it is to get an alien under your skin he's hitting 12 years in a month and he's wondering what it would be in anniversary terms. Google tells him it's silk he almost laughs at the idea of giving Michael any clothing in that fabric the man was rugged jeans and t-shirts. When his phone is stolen by Liz who pushes a shot in his direction he remembers why he's here. Have fun with his friends. Solidarity in suffering. The drinks flow easily to the booth he's had a pina colada some other fruity drinks and a bunch of shots. At first, he didn't feel anything, not even a buzz but after twenty minutes he feels sluggish and slow. Everything moving at a different rate then it did before. You should call Michael" Liz is shouting it off from the dancefloor of which she's tripped twice on and yet somehow she's beaming. Everything just kind of blurs together after that doesn't even realise he's on his bed until his hands are grasping the pillow. And faintly he feels a kiss on his head.
Drinking is a fun idea until the Hangover hits. He's starting to remember why he doesn't usually drink. His head is just throbbing he's trying his best to turn on soldier mode darting his eyes around trying to survey the room. Okay, the only clothes by the bed are his that's good. That's great one thing he doesn't have to worry about. There are a couple of pills on a plate by a glass of water with the box to show him what it is. And he's pretty sure there's a bin by the bed and end table... Someone took care of him. Who? He takes a very long shower water hits his skin until he feels anew or at least a little more bearable. It's only when he's drying off and hearing a faint hum of music that he remembers. Oh god.
"Guerin, it's me, Alex ... shoul-should of probably said Alex first how can you know it's me it's unspecific. Can you come home now my beds all big and fluffy and I want your fluffy hair in it.I miss your hair it's soft. Can you come save me Kyle keeps waving me over to dance with a drag queen and a stripper and I don't want to- "MIKEY WE'RE AT PLANET 7 COME DANCE WITH US" He really can't catch a break. "You know every minute you stay in there is a minute longer the pancakes get cold. And you should know I make a mean stack of chocolate chip pancakes"
He doesn't know what he's expecting when he first leaves his bedroom. He's nervous. After the song, he promised himself he would not make the first move. If Michael wants him he's going to have to say it in words to his face and communicate it to him. He's tired of metaphors and unspoken words. Trust drunk Alex to immediately ignore what he wants and skip right to the stroking Michael's hair part. Which yes he wants to do all the time. He finds Michael in the kitchen using a metal utensil as a mirror checking his teeth, his hair before straightening his shirt and patting his jeans down. He's nervous too. His heart stutters a little at the thought. Michael places the table settings and looks up with a small smile. "Hi" "Hi" He gestures to the table. "It's not much I had to run to the store you have the cupboard of an 18-year-old student" Even hungover and tired he can't fight the smile on his face. "Between my work hours and alien scooby sleuthing don't always have the time or energy" "I'm sor "If you apologise I will steal all your pancakes, Guerin" Despite his head throbbing and his leg killing him it's probably the best morning he'd had in a long time. A bird is flying past the window. His dog is sleeping soundly in his bed. The smell of flowers from the vase in the middle of the table is melding with the smell of warm chocolate. And if he dares a glance from his plate he sees the man he loves chewing on pancakes slowly with a small smile on his face. It's peaceful like something out of a movie.
"I don't know if you remember the voicemail you gave me you were pretty wasted. I gave all of you guys a ride home. Valenti threw up on my sneakers I uh was glad I wasn't wearing my good boots" Michael looks the most vulnerable he's seen him in years moving his fork around the pancake in front of him. He drops his fork and squeakily moves his chair closer and reaches for both his hands. "I'm so sorry for everything. This past year especially" Michael is trying his best to hold back his tears sniffing trying to get whatever words he wants to get out - out. "You know I've uh been seeing a therapist the last couple of months and she's great you know she calls me out on my victim complex crap and gives me all kinds of homework that sometimes bugs me but it's been helping. She asked me to write a list of things I wanted and at first, I couldn't do it for weeks I just stared at the page and couldn't I didn't think I deserved to write one. Eventually, I did. Can I read it to you?"
He squeezes his hands briefly before bringing his hands to his cheeks softly stroking in encouragement.
"Number 1, Don't be angry anymore it doesn't make you happy it hurts you and it's hurt the people that you love. Number 2, Spend more time with Max and Isobel as a family. Number 3, Remember you are loved and wanted by Isobel, Max, Sanders and Alex make sure to let them know that they are your family. Number 4, tell Alex that you stole his guitar on purpose that day you heard him play at work once and you just wanted to know him. Number 5, tell Alex that stealing his guitar and falling in love with him was the best thing that ever happened to me. You can read the rest if you want" The list is the closest thing to a love letter he's ever gotten off of Michael and everything he reads is everything he wants for Michael. He wants Michael to be happy to love himself to know he's wanted and love. Even seeing minor things like I want to hold Alex's hand makes him emotional. He wants all those things too. He wants a life with Michael. He wants Michael. And everything he reads and hears as Michael reads out the lines without the paper has his heart racing.
There no longer are metaphors in the air it's words pure and simple.
He supposes he should kiss Michael but he chooses a different kind of embrace one he wanted to do for a while he wraps Michael in a hug it's warm and tight he hopes he knows in this hug how much he loves him. And if he doesn't know he can say he'll say it every day until Michael understands it. "Want to watch a bad movie on the couch and cuddle?" Michael's grip on his shirt lessons and a muffled chuckle and a nod is conveyed against his chest. Armed with coffee and a bag of chips they make their way on the sofa. The question of big spoon is gone straight away when Michael makes grabby motions with his hands. His head is pressed into his chest and Alex feels at home and at peace. They flick through the channels. "Have you seen this one?" "Have I seen a film about a flesh-eating octopus fighting a giant shark? no, can't say I have". The movie is terrible as expected laughably so but the thing that makes it one of his favourites is Michael's anger towards the films plot. "So the giant shark was actually a robot designed by a bored rich kid who wanted to prod fish which caused the flesh-eating octopus to become feral and murder a bunch of people? They didn't explain anything about the flesh-eating octopus the whole plot doesn't make any sense" Rubbing his stomach in low circles and dotting a kiss to his collarbone he smirks at Michael's investment. "And another thing -mmph" He leans back. Michael's eyes are closed his lips are puckered he pouts when he realises he hasn't come back up to kiss him "You were saying?" "I'm shutting up now....hey come back up here and kiss me"
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