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#i like it too but i also find it incredibly annoying when people forget the only avenger loki's shorter than. is thor.
fun-k-board · 6 months
Note
Hey again 😄😄😄
Thank you so so much for the smoke headcanon I really enjoyed it, I was wondering if you could do it again but this time with reptile please ??
Syzoth / Reptile Friendship / General Headcanons
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Note(s) : You're a regular human and not a champion, it's implied you're friends with the human kharacters and meet Reptile through them.
Reptile is extremely anxious around you at first because you're not a champion, you're just an Earthrealmer with no fighting skills or prior knowledge on Outworld, and he finds himself a little confused on your presence most of the time.
As such, he finds himself explaining to you a lot of things that he would believe are just common sense. He doesn't get annoyed though, because he realises his constant questions on regular human ideas must be strange too.
He's still a Zatteran despite his ability to shapeshift into a human form, and so, any human social cues you've mastered will probably be strange to him, and vice versa.
Syzoth will typically eat bugs like cockroaches, spiders, flies, and forgets that some human cultures don't have that normalised, but he's extremely overjoyed when he finds out that certain places consider bugs a delicacy. He basically begs you to take him to those places.
If Johnny invites you to be in a movie, whether acting or stage hand, Syzoth, and by extension a large chunk of the Kast, will a million percent also be there after being coincidentally, also invited by Johnny! He's interested in Earth culture, and after watching Predator, which scared the daylights out of him, he wants to know the process behind movies.
Hundred percent asks to see movies with you, apart from horrors, never show him a horror movie, he will not be able to sleep for weeks.
Movie nights are incredibly common, a lot of other non Earthrealmers join in as well! It becomes very cramped very fast in your house, let's hope Johnny is nice enough to lend you all his mansion for the night.
He's a big fan of superhero media, there's always an invisible person, although he finds the fact a lot of them have to strip incredibly strange, or some type of half human half animal hybrid, he feels at home a lot of the time watching those types of superheros.
He can't stomach human food, so if he ever stays at yours for a sleepover or just to hang out for a day, he'll be an exterminator for you and eat any bugs he can find as his lunch / dinner. It's very helpful during summer.
Speaking of summer, he always wears his usual attire even in unbearable heat, he's uncomfortable with his human form and he feels awkward to show more of it. Besides, he likes to keep warm because he gets cold too easily, and when he's cold he gets slower which is impractical and annoying.
After the death of his wife and children, he's been looking for a distraction, he needs some form of comfort and he feels talking to you and his other friends is a huge help. Especially if you've experienced a close loss before, even if you don't know ways to help cope, you can always find ways to help each other heal together.
He tries to ask you for dating advice with Ashra, this most likely goes over well no matter how horrible your advice is, because Ashra and Syzoth are the best couple and are so wholesome nothing could offend either.
Syzoth is always awkward around dinners, whenever he's invited to Madam Bo's by one of the Kast of you, he sort of just sits around and tries to talk instead of eat. Reptiles learned after a while that it's impolite to humans when you just eat bugs out of the air, which he doesn't understand, and so refrains from eating at most public dinners.
He really wants to bring you to Zattera, but he knows far too well that they don't take kindly to warm blood, and while he understands his people's reason, he's still disappointed.
Luckily! He can visit your home in Earthrealm.
He does unfortunately get a lot of stares when he visits your home, your family and even strangers on the street always assume he's a cosplayer.
After he gets roles for a few of Johnny's movies, he becomes a micro celebrity of some sorts, including you if you decide to star in them. People recognise him on the streets and he gets rather embarrassed, but also very appreciated, he feels a lot of love around fans.
Apart from the weird ones... He tries to tell people that he's taken, with a wonderful girlfriend who'd he'd never betray, but... He needs you to chase them off a lot.
I imagine at first, your family and friends might think he's really weird, like, not even 'wow that was strange' weird, but 'never invite this man to be close to my vicinity again' type weird.
He's always looking around suspiciously, eyes wide, sweaty, sometimes he looks like he's going to speak but then holds a hand over his mouth, always when there's a fly near...
But, it only takes a day of knowing him for them to switch up and genuinely adore him.
They invite him around all the time, he's sweating buckets and terrified of messing up, but they're so taken aback by how goddamn sweet this guy is they don't notice.
Once again, you become his saviour and help him whenever they get too talkative about where he's from. They don't know about Outworld, and Liu Kang would prefer it if you didn't spill to everybody.
He finds human fashion a bit strange, but he actually really likes hoodies, especially the ones with short sleeves, they feel comfortable and he can move around a lot without it being a hassle of detangling and annoyance. He also likes wearing fingerless gloves everywhere.
Introducing him to Earthrealm music is... Interesting, to say the least. He really enjoys a lot of them! Especially classical, they're closer to what he knows from Outworld, but, he's also surprised at how much he likes a lot of modern music.
I'm spreading my Britney Spears fan Syzoth agenda and you can't stop me.
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a-random-weeb · 5 months
Note
Can I request yandere fyodor, Akutagawa and chuuya with a fem crybaby reader? Like they don’t try to escape or break any rules they just sit in the corner and cry out of fear while trembling.
Oh, that sounds kind of fun!
Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya, Fyodor
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Akutagawa:
•He always feels so bad
•He's not as good with words, so he just hugs you
•After he kidnaps you, he feels incredibly guilty
•He doesn't like how scared you are
•He tries to look on the bright side, at least you obey him?
•He has no idea what to do while you're shaking and crying in the corner, so he just kneels down infront of you and pats your head, kissing your forehead
•He tries to be really sweet, but probably accidentally glares at you while you're crying, making you cry harder
•At this point he's panicking he tries to pay you again, but pats you a little too hard and hits you 😭
•He attempts to apologize, but don't forget, it's also Akutagawa so...
•He apologizes but it seems like he's not really sorry because of his apathetic face (he is sorry)
•So the whole thing would end in chaos, him panicking and you in tears, but that doesn't mean he'll ever let you leave
*ੈ✩‧˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧˚*ੈ✩‧˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧☆
Chuuya:
•For the first little bit, he just comforts you
•He'll kill whoever made you cry
•Or, if you have anxiety or something, he'll just hold you to his chest and comfort you
•It doesn't take long for him to kidnap you though
•He can't stand to see you so sad all the time
•Don't worry though, he'll protect you from this cruel world!
•He takes you to his mansion
•He locks you in the basement
•He planned ahead, he got you a gorgeous room down there, a nice bed of your favorite color, cute plushies (if you like those), all the accessories and jewelry you could possibly want, and whatever decor you like
•He hates how scared you are at first, of he wanted to hurt you, he wouldn't have gotten you this gorgeous room
•No, no! Don't try to get away! Why are you so scared? He won't hurt you!
•He holds you close as you cry and sob
•He hates being the reason you're crying
•The worst part is, you're being good! You haven't done anything to deserve how afraid you are!
•He absolutely hates how sad and scared you are, but He'll never let you go
°•.*✮⋆˙⋆。°✩°•.*✮⋆˙⋆。°✩°•.*✮⋆˙⋆。°✩°•.*✮⋆˙⋆。°✩°•.
Fyodor:
•At first, he just find you an annoying, weak, crybaby
•He's low-key mad he fell for you
•Eventually though, his views on you change
•You're so nice to people, you're too pure for this world, and so, he kidnaps you
•He likes to play around with you
•He see's how hard he can make you cry, how to cheer you up, what you act like when you're at your lowest, ect.
•He's not purely cruel with this, he also likes to see how long he can be around you and be nice before you cry over something
•He loves how obedient you are
•If you're crying over something stupid, or that he deems dumb, he'll just leave you there to cry depending on how good you've been
•Since you're typically obedient, he does sometimes comfort you when you're crying over dumb things
•If you're crying for an actual good reason he'll always comfort you
•Sometimes he feels bad for how much you cry, especially since you're such a 'good girl' as he calls you
•He doesn't often show he feels bad unless you pick up on the subtle, accidental hints he gives
°♪`⊹*ꕤ˚+.°♪`⊹*ꕤ˚+.°♪`⊹*ꕤ˚+.°♪`⊹*ꕤ˚+.°♪`⊹*ꕤ˚+.°
i hope you liked this! I had a lot of fun writing this
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healmydesires · 10 months
Text
forever in your eyes (j.m)
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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader
summary: It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to. You’ve never been in love, always thought that falling in love wasn’t meant for you. Until one day, you meet a certain grumpy man.
genre: fluff + romance + angst + smut (18+ mdni)
word count: 15k+
tags/warnings: age gap (reader is 27, joel is in his early 50’s), takes place post s1, very minimal use of y/n, soft!joel tbh, kinda shy!reader… at least with joel, flirty joel, joel deserves to be loved, assumed unrequited love from both sides, reader described as shorter than joel, mutual pining, inexperienced/virgin!reader, unprotected sex, piv sex, loss of virginity, soft!dom joel, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), joel has high key an oral fixation, kinda pleasure!dom?, multiple orgasms, creampie, some breeding kink, overstimulation, size kink, joel is huge… literally packing oof, lots of pet names (darlin, sweetheart, angel, baby girl, etc.), reader has a sister (named emilie, so if that’s your name I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 you can imagine another name then 🥺. I didn’t want it to be y/s/n because that would be so annoying to write imo).
a/n: this is my first joel fic. this is kinda more soft tbh… might be a bit oc? I don’t know but I love it. It’s pretty self indulgent !!! I’ve always loved writing but I got a lot discouraged in the past, giving up on it. I was inspired to start writing again by some of my favourite writers @joelmama and @joelscruff. also english is like my third language so please be nice/gentle with me. do not give me unsolicited advice pls <3 anyways! I hope you enjoy it 🥺
please don’t forget to interact, reblog or let me know if you read/loved it! <3 thank you ily 🥺
AO3 ● playlist
You knew you had feelings for Joel Miller. You’ve always liked and cared for him, even when you first met.
You still remember the day you met him. Clear as day.
It was such a warm and beautiful day, like a year and a half ago. The sun was beaming down on you as you were reading a book that you found on one of your trips outside Jackson — on your front porch of your house. The blowing mid-summer wind was hitting your face, cooling, as if to apologise for the almost unbearable heat that Jackson was currently subjected to. The soft breeze was caressing your skin and hair making the heat a lot more bearable as you enjoyed the day.
You were so immersed in your book that you didn’t hear the people approaching you until there was a shadow descending over the pages of your book. Someone was standing in front of you, their body blocking the sun.
“Yes?” You said with a smile without looking up from your book.
“I would like to introduce you to some people.”
The voice belonged to Tommy. Tommy Miller.
Your eyes widened at that, and you looked up from your book and saw that there were two other people behind Tommy looking down at you.
“I’m sorry,” you said before you cleared your throat, giving them a sheepish smile before standing from your lounger, shielding your eyes from the sun to get a better look at the strangers in front of you.
A teenager gave you a polite smile as she introduced herself. As you gave her your name in return you finally noticed the man next to her, gave you a curt nod when you locked eyes with him. He had a broad build, dark eyes and brown peppered hair. You assumed he was around the age of fifty and you couldn’t help but find him incredibly handsome.
“This is Ellie and my brother,” Tommy smiled as he gestured to both people next to him. “They’re your new neighbours.”
You knew Tommy had an older brother but you didn't know what you had been expecting. Maybe someone less handsome. As you continued to take him in you realised you were staring. You felt your body becoming more warm as you felt him stare back at you.
“How’s it going? I’m Y/N.” You gave him a small smile as you stepped forward to extend a hand out to the man.
"Hello," he repeated your name with a deep southern accent, which did nothing to calm your racing heart. You don’t think you’ve ever heard a voice that attractive in your entire life and it made heat flood to your cheeks. His hard expression melted into a more soft one as he took your hand in his. "I’m Joel, how’s your bench going?”
Your eyes widened at his words, “My bench? How did you—”
“We saw you through the living room window earlier this morning or more like Joel did.” Ellie, the teenager said with a huge grin on her face.
“Ellie.” He warned under his breath. His ears turned red and the two of them began to argue in hushed whispers, but your mind was elsewhere as panic began to set in.
Oh my god. He noticed me?
You grew embarrassed as you realised that he saw you struggle to fix that old bench on your porch. You’re painfully aware of how clumsy you are and that you’re not handy at all but you don’t like to ask other people for help. It was not because of your pride or any of that sort, you’d hate to burden someone else with your issues, so you mostly keep trying to fix things yourself.
"Oh yeah..." You said, looking back towards the bench that has been the bane of your existence these past few days. Your words effectively pulled Joel and Ellie out of their current argument. "It's a bit broken and needs some fixing."
Joel just looked at you for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you want, I could come check it out?”
You felt your cheeks heat up again at his offer and you glanced over at Tommy. “Uhm…”
“We both used to be contractors back in the day, so if you ever need anything repaired or something built, we are your people. Well… Joel specifically.” Tommy laughed.
“Oh, that’s cool. I think I’m good for now though, I don’t need any help but thanks for offering.” You declined politely with a small smile. You knew you could use their or his help with repairing the bench, but you didn’t want to burden anyone. And the older brother was already making you feel flustered, you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself when you just met.
“Alright, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” He gave you a small but genuine smile before the three of them walked away from you.
As they walked away, you released a breath you didn't realise you were holding. The hammering of your heart only registering as the distance grew between you. You felt a bit of disappointment once they were gone, a sense of longing setting in your heart as you thought about the tall and older man that you know you’ll grow to care for.
“God damn it. Work with me please.” You grumbled as you tried to fix one of the loose wooden planks of the bench. Sweat was dripping down your forehead as you concentrated on your task at hand. You were on the floor, crouched underneath the bench you were so desperately trying to repair. You’ve been trying to put it off for a couple of weeks now but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that. You knew you should ask someone for help but you didn’t want to give up just yet. Curse words wouldn’t stop leaving your mouth as you struggled. “Fuck.”
“I didn’t take you as a girl that could curse like a sailor.” A low and deep but still soft voice resounds behind you.
“Ah shit!” you gasped as you heard the voice behind you. You’d smacked your head on the edge of the bench when you’d startled at the sudden intrusion. You recognised that voice. Joel Miller. The man that’s been consuming your thoughts for weeks now. You hissed as you rubbed at the already sore spot and landed on your butt as you looked up at him.
The bemused expression morphed into one of concern as he crouched down to your level. “Are you okay?” He replaced your hand with his own, making sure there was no visible injury.
His touch made your body turn hot as he continued to study you.
“Yeah I-I’m fine. Although, I do think it will be a nice bump later.” You chuckled. “You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that, it’s not good for my heart.”
“And your head,” he said as a grin replaced the one of concern. You were glad to be sitting because that smile has been making you weak in the knees lately. Ever since you’ve been introduced you’ve been talking and hanging out here and there, finding out that the man can smile sometimes. You’re not entirely sure why he felt so at ease around you but you were truly grateful that he was spending time with you. (It might be for the fact that Ellie grew fond of you and loved to ask you a million questions whenever she was around.) He had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and it lit up his whole face, you truly wish he would smile more. Subconsciously you started biting your lip as you admired him.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” He questioned with a chuckle as he looked at the state of the bench next to you.
Your face grew warm as you moved to focus your gaze on your hands. “I’m fine.” You whisper softly as you continue to look at your hands in your lap.
You heard him sigh before he took your chin gently in his hand to tilt your head back, making you look into his eyes.
“You know it’s okay to ask for help sometimes?” He said as he studied you intently. It was hard to maintain his eye contact, your face heating up more under his intense gaze and because of the close proximity of both of your faces.
His brown eyes stared into yours and you couldn’t help but find them the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever looked at. Your eyes flitted all over his face, not being able to stay in one place. You couldn’t get over how handsome he was. His head tilted to the side and he gave you a questionable look. You felt embarrassed as you realised you hadn’t replied to him yet.
“Sorry,” you bit your lip nervously as warmth spread even more to your cheeks. Your eyes moved away from his face to a spot behind him as you stared into the distance. “I just don’t want to burden you.” Your voice sounded so small and squeaky that you cringed internally. Embarrassed, you quickly drop your gaze to your lap.
“Oh, Darlin’,” he said gently, his expression turning more soft. “Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.”
“I’m sorry,” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to keep yourself from getting emotional. “I didn’t mean to… I just— I just always feel like it’s best I do everything myself all the time because I don’t want to annoy anyone with my problems.”
You’ve always been someone to wear your heart on your sleeve. You’re a very sensitive person and very in tune with your emotions most of the time. People saw you as a very caring and helpful person but when it came to your own things you mostly tended to yourself. You’re aware that most people aren’t like you, at least not anymore ever since the outbreak happened, but you didn’t care. There’s strength in sensitivity.
“You could never annoy me,” Joel frowned. “especially not when it comes to you struggling to do something on your own.”
You weren’t used to people caring for you the way you cared for others. So when Joel reassured you or took the time to hang out with you, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated.
His reassuring words gradually eased your anxiety. You let out a long sigh before looking up at him again. “O-okay, I-I think… I might need your help.” You stutter, hoping he didn’t catch it but he smiled at you warmly instead.
Shit, he’s so pretty. Come on, forget it. He could never have feelings for you.
“Good. Because I’d love to help.” He winked at you with a crooked smile.
Warmth flooded your body as you stared at him, you couldn’t help but feel flustered around him. You’re certain that your heart is running two hundred miles per hour, because it felt like it was about to burst out of your chest.
It’s just a silly crush. You told yourself.
Turns out, Joel Miller, your hot new neighbour, could be very handy.
He was able to fix the bench you've been fighting with for weeks in less than an hour. You were truly impressed.
As he brought back the supplies he used to repair the bench back inside to your supply closet, you couldn’t help but want him to stay a little longer. Besides, you wanted to thank him for being so helpful. You’re relieved and so grateful that the ‘demon bench’, as you had called it, was now fixed
“Thank you for helping me out, Joel. It means a lot to me.” You said as you smiled up at him as you both walked towards your front door.
“Oh darlin’ it’s no problem. I loved helping you.” He said with a grin. He moved closer, making your breath hitch which made him smile even more. “You can ask me anything. Whenever you need.” He winked and you felt your insides melt at his words and his actions.
“I-I want to be able to thank you. Give something in return for your help.” You smiled shyly at him.
“You don’t have to do anything for me sweet—”
“Please, let me make you dinner. It’s the least I can do after what you did for me.” You cut him off as you looked up at him with wide eyes. “Ellie is welcome too!” You added nervously when he took a bit longer to reply.
He snorts softly at your words before clearing his throat. “Ellie isn't in tonight,” he says as he avoids your gaze for a few seconds “she’s at this girl’s place she hangs out with a lot. So it’s just me.”
“Oh that’s okay! I’m sure she can join us next time.” You flashed him a bright smile. “But, I’d love to make dinner for you tonight… if that’s okay?” You asked with pleading eyes.
He chuckled fondly at your expression as he shook his head with amusement. “Of course. I’d love that.”
You felt like you were going to burst out of excitement. Internally you’re screaming, kicking with your legs like a schoolgirl thinking about her crush. You really loved spending time with the man.
Joel followed you back inside as you quickly disappeared down the hall and into the dining room that’s connected to your kitchen. You saw him admire the walls of your dining room from your peripheral view as you’re rummaging in one of the cupboards of your kitchen for a cutting board. Most of the paintings were either more abstract gradient paintings or heavily inspired by the Impressionism art movement.
“You have lots of paintings. They are very pretty.”
“Thank you. Some of them are made by me or my sister.” You smiled genuinely as you made your way back to him.
“Really?” He asked curiously.
Your smile turned timid as you looked up at him, Joel's inquisitive look making you even more shy.
“Yeah… we both love art. Especially making our own sometimes.” You cleared your throat with another bashful smile, before looking down at your shoes.
“Is your sister…?”
“Is she alive? Yes” you finished his question. “She lives here in Jackson with her boyfriend actually.”
“That’s nice.”
“Yeah. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life.” You told him. “She’s my best friend.”
“That’s beautiful” he nods at you as a small smile graces his features. You can’t help but feel yourself get more warm at his soft expressions. He’s so beautiful. “How did you two find your way to Jackson?”
“It’s a long story. I don’t think I’ve ever told you this but, originally my sister and I weren't from here… the USA I mean.” You told him.
Joel’s eyes widened at your words. You giggled at his expression.
“We are originally from Europe, I was still very young when the outbreak happened. I was around? Seven years old. We were in San Francisco when it happened and my sister and I haven’t really moved from that place for a long time ever since everything went down.” You said as you walked back to the kitchen.
“Christ. That’s very young.” He said, he looked shocked as you told him as much as you wanted him to know.
“Yeah but Emilie was four when it happened.” You said as you bit your lip.
“It must be hard being trapped in a foreign country. Especially when you’re a child.”
“Yeah… My parents eventually died when I turned eighteen. So it was just Emilie and I for a long time. One day a couple of years ago she went outside the San Francisco QZ and I hadn’t heard from her for a long while. I just… I had to look for her, she’s my sister, she means everything to me. I would literally travel through this whole country just to find her. I always felt like I needed to protect her. I’ve always been very overprotective of her, just like I know she is with me.” You chuckled as you shook your head with amusement at your previous words.
“Overprotective huh?” He said as he flashed you a grin as he came to lean against a wall close to you.
“Yeah,” you giggled. “I am the big sister but sometimes it does feel like she’s more overprotective than I am.”
“Your sister seems very nice. I do understand her being overprotective though.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you.
“Oh really?” You bit your lip as you continued to prepare everything for dinner.
“Yeah, I mean you’re a precious little thing so I do understand her overprotectiveness.” He muttered.
Heat rose up in your face at his words. You couldn’t look up at him, feeling too flustered to look him in the eye. Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest as you kept repeating his words in your head. He thought you were precious.
Was that flirting? No. He would never flirt with you.
“Y-you think so?” You question shyly, still not meeting his gaze.
“Uhuhm” He hummed softly, “I don’t only think that, it is so. You’re very precious.”
“O-oh.” You were at loss for words.
Joel chuckled, probably because of your flustered state, before he noticed you struggled with the ingredients. “Let me help you sweetheart.”
“No, it’s okay.” You said. But as most people knew, Joel was a stubborn man.
“Darlin,” he looked at you pointedly, letting you know that you wouldn’t be able to stop him from giving you a hand.
“I’m making dinner for you, to thank you. You shouldn’t be helping me.” You huffed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. You’re aware you probably look like a child but you can’t help it. Dinner was supposed to be made by you, and only you.
“Oh angel, being in your presence is rewarding enough for me.” He says as he leans closer to your ear.
Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his words. The sound of his deep voice close to your ear, and the feeling of his breath against your skin, made you fight the urge to shiver.
Joel smiled playfully, eyes looked down and locked with yours for a couple of seconds. The close proximity made your skin set on fire. He could lean down a bit more and then his lips would be on yours. You slowly pulled back, clearing your throat while you did.
“A-a-anyways.” You stuttered. You hated stuttering, you never really stuttered but somehow this man could turn you into a flustered, stuttering mess. His smile widened at your state which made you want to run and hide. You decided to change the subject. “I had to go through some states to find her and eventually I found her. Then we travelled together through Wyoming and then some people from Jackson surrounded us and that’s how we got here. That was almost a year ago.”
“So… You are pretty new here?”
“Yep.” You said as you smiled at him.
It was silent for a moment as both of you were preparing everything for dinner. Until your eyes widened at the realisation that you hadn’t offered him anything to drink yet.
“Oh shit, sorry. I can’t believe that I haven’t offered you something to drink yet.” You said as you abandoned your current task, running towards another supply closet, looking for something good for the both of you. “Give me a second.”
You could hear Joel chuckle, knowing he was probably looking at you with an amused expression on his face. You were looking for a specific bottle of red wine, your favourite, the ones you always keep for special occasions. Once you found it you couldn’t help but squeal excitedly. “Aha! Here it is!” You smiled triumphantly as you held it in your hands.
You were grinning widely as you came back into the kitchen. “I’ve got some red wine, I hope that’s okay.” You said as you placed down the bottle on the kitchen counter.
“More than okay.” Joel smiled.
You beamed up at him and opened one of the cabinets, you stood on the tip of your toes as you struggled to reach for some wine glasses.
“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself. “Why did I put those glasses so high and so far in the back?”
“Let me,” he chuckled softly as he stepped behind you, his body pressing softly against yours. Your breath hitched at the action and warmth spread all over your body. You mentally cursed yourself as you felt a heat pool between your legs. Different kinds of scenarios started going through your head as you felt his body pressed against yours. You wished his arms were wrapped around you as he stood behind you. But one of his arms extended over yours as he reached for two glasses easily. “Here they are.” He whispered as he leant down to whisper close to your ear.
You truly felt as if you caught a fever. He’s so close and so big. As his chest brushed against your back you felt as if your brain short circuited for a second. He was so broad and tall while you were so much smaller than him, he could quite literally swallow you whole with his frame.
You felt his body slowly retreat from yours, giving you the possibility to collect your thoughts again.
“Show off,” you grumbled teasingly, warmth still filling your chest and face.
Joel snorted, shaking his head amused. “You’re just tiny.”
You gasped dramatically, turned around and feigned offence at his words. “Am not!”
“Sure you aren’t.” He teased, a grin forming on his face.
You giggled at that, “you’re just awfully tall.”
“Right.” He nodded along to your words, tried to look as serious as he could, he tried to stifle a grin and you could see right through him.
“I am right.” You pouted.
“So am I.” He retorted playfully, a loud laugh left his lips as you continued to pout, before he took a step closer to you.
Your cheeks warmed, but you tried to hide your embarrassment by crossing your arms and sticking your chin up in the air. Huffing you turned around, “get back to work Mr. Miller.”
“Yes ma’am” he said in mock seriousness as he went back to making dinner with you.
“You’re so silly,” you giggled as you teasingly bumped your shoulder against his arm. You went to open the bottle of wine before pouring some of the liquid in both glasses. Once the glasses were filled you held a glass out to him.
“Only with you darlin’,” he gave you a wink before he took the glass from your hand. Flushed, you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped in your chest when his fingers brushed against yours.
This man is going to be the death of me.
Dinner was very nice. There was lots of banter, lots of words exchanged from Joel that felt awfully like flirting but still you tried to push those thoughts away. He wouldn’t flirt with you. You’re pretty certain of it. The tension sometimes was killing you though. You think it was sexual tension but then again that would be impossible because he wasn’t flirting with you.
But you also noticed that the more you hung out with Joel the more relaxed he was around you. You loved that for him. Underneath all that rough exterior he has so much depth to him. He’s very caring, protective, helpful, funny, and so intelligent. He’s so sweet to you too, you didn’t know why. But all you knew is that you care for him so much. You felt comfortable around him too, safe. You couldn’t help but associate him with warmth, safety. Home. He felt like home to you.
Empty plates were still on the table and for a while you were enjoying the comfortable silence between you two. Eventually you broke that silence.
“The wine is so good.” You whispered as you looked at your wine glass then brought your gaze softly to the man sitting across from you. He seemed like he was lost in his thoughts, staring off in the distance as he looked through the window outside towards your garden.
He brought his gaze back to you as he heard your voice, he cocked his head to the side. “Hmmm what did you say sweetheart?”
“It’s good right?” You ask as you motion with your head to the drink in your hand.
“You’re not wrong. It’s very good.” He nods with a soft smile.
“It’s my favourite,” you flashed him a grin before you took a generous sip of your wine, the liquid burning down your throat.
“Oh really?” He questioned with a curious smile.
“Yeah, I keep them for special occasions.” You said as you bit your lip, feeling bashful.
“Is that so?” Joel’s smile turned into a full smirk as he looked straight into your eyes. “I am assuming this is a special occasion then?”
You hummed your agreement, shrugging your shoulders with faux nonchalance as you continued to bite your lip. Warmth was overwhelming you. Not only because of the alcohol you consumed but that man always made you heat up.
“I’ll consider that as a compliment.” He said as he leaned back in his chair.
Excitement bubbled inside you. Feeling bold, you winked at him. “As you should.”
He was visibly surprised, Joel didn't expect you to finally flirt back. You giggled at his reaction, pleased to see that you could surprise him.
You stood up from your seat with a smile as you took the empty plates from the table, bringing them to the sink.
As you’re about to turn the faucet on you heard him stand up from his chair. He muttered your name, his voice coming out a lot deeper than usual. Fighting back a shiver you slowly turned around to look at him. Your eyes were wide with curiosity and your heart was pounding so hard you could barely hear over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. He looked at you, a desperate expression on his face.
“Darlin’,” he said, his voice hoarse as his dark eyes continued to hold your gaze. For the first time of the night you couldn’t fight back the shiver from going down your spine. Heat flooded your body, your cheeks burning, the warmest you’ve ever felt them.
Joel must have noticed the way your body was reacting to his voice, as he dragged a low shuddering breath at the sight of you.
“Joel?” Your breath turned heavier as you waited for him to say or do something. Your wide pleading eyes stared into his hungry eyes. He continued to stand there just looking at you, his chest moved quicker as he breathed more heavily. Your heart pounded so fast and hard that you were worried that he could hear it from across the room.
Your eyebrows pulled together as you stared at him, your eyes shining with curiosity. You waited with bated breath for Joel to say what he was meant to tell you. He looked at you desperately before he moved from his spot, striding towards you but before he could reach you, someone barged through the door of your home with a loud bang.
“Hey! I knew I’d find you here.” Ellie yelled without looking at both of you. Once her eyes settled on both Joel and you her mouth fell open. “What’s happening?”
You were breathing heavily as you looked at Joel. Eventually you brought your gaze to the teen. “N-nothing, Ellie bean.” You stuttered out quickly, moving away from the kitchen towards the younger girl. “We just had dinner.”
Her eyes widened, “without me?”
Your face flushed with embarrassment before you turned around to look at Joel. “I thought she was at—”
“I’m assuming you told her I wasn’t home tonight, right?” Ellie cut you off, raising one of her eyebrows as she looked at him.
Wait what? Did he want to be alone with me?
Joel swallowed and then avoided both Ellie and your gazes. “Alright.” She snorted.
“I think it's better if we go home.” Joel finally spoke up, before walking towards Ellie. You feel yourself deflate at his words and you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed.
“O-okay.” You whispered, looking down as you entwined both of your hands nervously.
Ellie looked at you with sympathy before glaring up at Joel. “You’re so stupid.” She grumbled under her breath as she gave him a shove as she made her way to the front door.
“Ellie,” he warned her.
“You are.” She sneered.
Joel sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before looking at you. “Thank you for dinner,” he said with a small but grateful smile.
“Thank you for fixing my bench on the front porch,” you gave him a faint smile. “I enjoyed spending time with you.” You said as you looked away timidly.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me.”
You bit your lip as you avoided his gaze. He said your name softly before he held your chin gently with one of his hands, tilting your head towards his face which made your eyes lock with his own.
“I always enjoy spending time with you.” Warmth rose to your face at his words. He gave you a warm smile before releasing your chin.
You walked with him towards your front door, leaning against it as you tried to say your goodbyes to each other.
“I really enjoyed tonight.”
“Me too.” You said as you bit your lip.
“Goodnight darlin’.” He said with a barely noticeable smile before he walked out your door.
Your eyes met Ellie’s waving at you from in front of your porch. You return the action with a small wave.
“Goodnight.” You whispered before you closed the door behind them. You rested your back against the door, exhaling a long breath you realised you didn’t know you were holding in.
You were in too deep.
As months went by, you were more and more aware of how strong your feelings were beginning to grow for Joel. So strong that they were starting to terrify you. Not because you didn’t want to have these feelings for him, no that was certainly not it. You just never experienced feelings this strong for someone before.
It wasn’t like you hadn’t dated before. You had been on plenty of dates since you’ve been in Jackson, too many actually, you’ve even been in a semi serious relationship, but unfortunately, nobody had really charmed their way into your heart like they were supposed to.
You’ve never been touched intimately before, never had sex either. You knew how inexperienced you were but so far, you just hadn’t found someone to be worthy of your time.
You’ve never fallen in love with anyone before. And these new feelings were truly scaring you. For so long you were so certain that you’d never fall in love with someone. That falling in love wasn’t meant for you. That those feelings would never exist for you. The apocalypse hadn’t made things easier either so it wasn’t like falling in love was an option for a long time. But now that you’re relatively more safe, it was a possibility.
It was so much easier when it was just a crush, or an infatuation, despite the fact that you knew that crushes usually wouldn’t make your heart swell so big or your lungs feel so tight when you think of them or see them. But now, it’s a lot harder to pretend that it’s not more than that.
You always dreamed of the day you’d finally fall in love but now that those feelings were here they made you feel like you wanted to run and hide.
You’re not sure you’d be ready to confess those feelings to him any time soon. You were quite certain that they would be one sided, so you’d prefer to keep those to yourself. Because why would someone like him ever see you the way you see him, the way you feel for him. You were a lot younger than him, around twenty years or so. You’re twenty seven. So it seemed impossible for you that he could regard you in the same way you did.
So you decided to do just that, keep them a secret. And you were completely fine with that, with your feelings remaining completely unknown to anyone but yourself.
Or so you thought.
On a beautiful warm spring day, you decided you were going to indulge in your favourite hobby. Drawing.
You’ve always loved art, specifically, you loved sketching. If it wasn’t for the fact that the world ended, you’d like to think you would’ve studied art or tried to become an artist.
You were pretty good at it actually, not to sound too full of yourself. But with the way things were, your skills weren’t at their full potential. And besides you didn’t like to tell most people, keeping it a secret because you were always too shy or embarrassed to show people your talents. So you sketched as much as you could in your free time.
You loved to draw all sorts of things, nature, still life, animals and sometimes, people. But on top of your innocent drawings you also had a specific secret sketchbook that you only drew in when you were certain you were alone.
This sketchbook was dedicated entirely to indulging in your massive crush on Joel Miller. (Okay, crush is an understatement.) It was usually difficult to draw a specific person when they weren’t standing right in front of you, but you had seen his face so many times that it was nearly photographically imprinted in your mind. You would often summon his face up whenever you were alone. As many times as you could. Most of these were just his face, the sketchbook was definitely filled with several of him smiling. Some were just details of, for example, his hands or his eyes. Or even his nose or lips.
Everything about him made you feel warm inside. You would always be a flustered mess around him and it would even make you heat up when you’d draw him. Sometimes you’d have to take breaks from drawing him because you’d start getting too hot from thinking about him.
You often felt like you were doing something bad or wrong, like you were some sort of stalker when all you did was admire him.
It was a specific drawing you were currently working on, after checking and double-checking that you were truly alone. It was a beautiful day and you had the day off, so you figured what better way to spend it then by sitting on your front porch all day while enjoying the weather and sketching out what you’d seen the man do during your shared patrol the day before.
The drawing was him holding his gun as he concentrated on a target in front of him. You were so focused on sketching him as well as you could, wanting to capture every feature of him in the best way possible. You recalled his intense expression, the way his jaw clenched while he was so focused yesterday. His dark brown eyes and his handsome side profile—
“What are you drawing?”
You practically jumped and yelled as you heard the voice close to you. Hurriedly you tried to close the sketchbook as you addressed the person standing close to you. “Ellie! You scared me. What are you doing here?”
“I’m just done with school and thought I’d drop by. I kinda wanted to spend some time with you.” She smiled at you as she was leaning against the wall. The soft expression slowly turned into a more mischievous smile as she cocked her head to the side to study you. “You okay there, Y/N?”
You swallowed nervously before giving her your best smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well… you’re looking pretty nervous or flustered. Embarrassed even.” She said as she smirked deviously.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly fine.” You said as you tried to keep your composure.
You could never tell Ellie about the fact that you’re drawing Joel. He’s practically her father figure. Besides, you were quite certain it would make the whole situation awkward.
“You sure?” She asked as she leaned closer to you. “Could it have something to do with… what you’re drawing?”
“I— no. I mean no.”
“Hmmm.” Ellie hummed as she looked at you suspiciously.
Before you could react, Ellie snatched the sketchbook out of your hands at lightning speed.
Fuck. fuck. FUCK. Please no.
“Ellie—”
You sprang to your feet and quickly tried to grab the book back from her, but Ellie pulled it just out of reach at the last second with a huge teasing smirk on her face. Your face burned with shame.
“It’s nothing Ellie, please give it back!” You couldn’t hide the terrified desperation in your voice.
“You sure it’s nothing?” She said as she hid the sketchbook behind her back.
“Yes!” Apprehension fills your bones at her actions.
“Ah, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind letting me take a peek at what’s inside right?” Ellie grinned dangerously as she moved the book in front of her.
“Please give it back.” Tears started to well up in your eyes as you pleaded for her to give it back.
Shit. It’s over.
As she opened the book on a random page, a gasp left her mouth. “Oh my god?!”
“Ellie, I’m—”
“You’re drawing Joel?” She whispered with wide eyes as she flipped through the pages.
You’ve never felt your face warm up this hot in your entire life. “No?” You said nervously but it came out more as a question.
Ellie said your name softly as she looked at you with a huge smile. “You have a crush on Joel?”
“I— I-I’m— uhm I don’t know, I just—” you stuttered as you tried to retrieve the sketchbook. Ellie pulled back which made you want to scream internally.
“It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Her face softened as she saw you look utterly terrified. “If anything, I’m very happy.”
“What?” You asked as you blinked your tears away.
“How could I be mad at you? I’ve always wanted Joel to be happy. He deserves that, even if he often doesn’t think he deserves that himself.” She smiled at you before looking back at some of the drawings inside the book. “They’re very beautiful by the way. I love drawing too.” She stepped closer to you as she went to put the book back in your hands. “Besides,” she shrugged nonchalantly, “he has a crush on you too.”
“Oh.”
Warmth flooded your body as you listened to her. You quickly felt overwhelmed by her words and everything that happened, you needed to sit down to process it better. You went to sit down with the book in your lap, looking down at it as you were at loss for words. It was very difficult for you to wrap your head around what she said. Joel having feelings for you? You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it. As you let her words sink in, she took a place next to you, placing a hand on your arm and giving it a small reassuring squeeze. Ellie gave you enough time to collect your thoughts and you were truly grateful for that.
You heaved out a long sigh. “I don’t have a crush.” You finally spoke up but not meeting her gaze just yet.
“What? But—”
“Saying it’s a crush is an understatement.” Your voice trembled as you finally looked at her. “I’ve never felt like this in my entire life, so it’s hard for me to deal with what I’m feeling.”
“Oh.” She said as her eyes widened. “You’re… In love?”
“I am pretty sure I am, yes.” You nodded with a small smile.
“Okay. Well he has feelings for—”
“Ellie, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have feelings for me.” You interrupted her.
“Oh my god,” she groaned as she hid her face in her hands, mumbling, “you’re both so oblivious.”
“What?”
“You’re both so stupid. So oblivious.” She groaned once again as she threw her hands in the air. “You both think that the feelings are one sided.”
“I don’t know…” you trailed off as you let yourself lean back on the bench. You’re quite certain that you’re the only one being so consumed by these emotions. You’ve pretty much made your mind up about the fact that it’s impossible for him to return any of those feelings that you have for him.
“The atmosphere when I came in the last time both of you had dinner, just the two of you, certainly didn’t look like it was one sided.”
“Barged in.” You corrected her teasingly as you bumped your shoulder into hers.
“Okay, whatever. My point still stands.”
“Ellie, that was months ago…” you sighed deeply and shook your head at her words.
“Stop. Why do you do this?” She asked exasperated.
“Wh—”
“Why do you believe that he wouldn’t have feelings for you too?” Ellie questioned as she leaned closer to you. “Like, you’re so pretty and have such a lovely personality.”
“I-I I don’t know. I just find it hard to believe. Besides,” you shrugged with a frown “I find it very hard to deal with my own emotions because I’ve never been in love before so this is so new to me.”
Her eyes softened as she listened to you. Slowly, she brought her hand to squeeze your arm reassuringly. “I can understand that. But love is a beautiful thing.”
“True…” you whispered.
“I can understand being scared, but Y/N you’re so worthy of love. Just like Joel is. I am convinced both of you are meant for each other.” She said with a hopeful expression.
“Ellie—”
“I’m serious. Just, please think about it for a while. You both deserve more than this secret pining for each other.” She grumbled at the last sentence.
“Okay I will. Can we please talk about something else now?”
“Sure.” She shrugged with a smile.
“Thank you, Ellie bean.” You said gratefully.
It’s quiet between you two, as you two sit in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the beautiful weather and each other’s company.
“So… drawing huh?” She grinned.
As Ellie and you were talking about your shared love for drawing you heard someone approaching the both of you. Ellie is the first one to look up and she greets the person with a wide smile.
“Hi Emilie!” Ellie beamed as your sister stepped foot on your front porch.
“Oh, here are my favourite girls!” She said with the biggest grin on her face. Emilie brought her hand up to high-five Ellie. “Hey ravioli.” She said as the youngest girl hit her hand.
Ellie scoffed and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Jeez, just because I love ravioli doesn’t mean you have to call me that. Can’t a girl love food in peace.”
Your sister doesn’t reply to the teen and averted her attention to you, greeting you too. Emilie gestures for Ellie to scooch over, before she plops down on the bench between both of you. “So what are you guys talking about?”
“Hey! That bench was recently repaired! There’s no need for you to let yourself fall on the seat like that.” You groan at your sister's silly behaviour.
“Recently? That was months ago.” Ellie counters with a playful smile.
“Ah yes, the bench that the love of your life repaired.” Emilie said with a dreamy expression.
You gasped at her words, feeling your cheeks heat up instantly. You gave her a light shove, “Emilie!”
“What?” Your sister shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s true.”
“Love of your life?” Ellie beams.
You sighed dramatically before leaning against the back of the bench. “Look at what you just did.” You gestured towards Ellie.
“Oh quit the theatrics.” Your sister rolled her eyes teasingly. “Everyone knows you have feelings for Joel except for that man himself.”
Your eyes widened as her words registered in your mind. “Everyone?” You squeaked.
“Yes, just like everyone knows that man is pining over you except for you!” Your sister said exasperated.
You shook your head frantically. “You’re ly—”
“Oh my god, Y/N.” Ellie groaned. “Wake up.”
“Yeah, lovely sister of mine,” Emilie placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a serious look, “respectfully wake the fuck up.”
“Disrespectfully, Emilie, shut up.” You said to your sister, shrugging her hand off you. You crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting as you still leaned against the bench.
“Why are you pouting? This is a good thing.” Ellie huffed.
“Yeah, this is a good thing. Why don’t you want to allow good things into your life?” Emilie asked, looking at you seriously.
Silence fell for some moments, before you whispered, “I don’t feel like I deserve it.”
“Yes, you do!” Both Ellie and your sister said simultaneously.
You bit your lip as you looked at them silently. You knew deep down that you deserved to love and be loved in return but it was so hard for you to accept that someone could genuinely have feelings for you. It wouldn’t make any sense, you were always used to people that were attracted to you to expect something from you that you weren’t ready to do or they wouldn’t genuinely care about who you are as a person. You knew Joel was different, he showed you enough through the past year. But somehow your mind tried to tell you otherwise.
“This is driving me insane,” Ellie sighed, shaking her head.
“Ellie,” your sister said pointedly at the younger girl before turning back to look back at you. “Y/N… you are so worthy of love. I know you’ve never experienced this type of emotion or feeling ever before, but you deserve to feel safe with someone and to love someone deeply and for them to love you just as fiercely. I know you keep thinking because of past relationships, friendships or situationships that people aren’t truly interested in you or that people don’t genuinely care for you. But, those people do exist. Ellie cares for you, I do, and I am completely certain that Joel cares for you too. You deserve to feel loved, cared for and to be happy.”
Tears welled up in your eyes at your sister’s words. You felt truly overwhelmed by everything she told you. Deep down you knew she was right, you were trying to believe her words but you knew it might take a bit of time.
“Thank you.” You whispered, tears flowing down your cheeks as you hugged her side. “You don’t know how much that means to me. It might take some time for me to truly believe everything you said but I want to try.”
Both girls went to envelop you in a warm hug, squeezing your body tight. You felt your body relax in their embrace.
“I love you.” Ellie whispered, at her words you hugged her body tighter.
“I love you too, Ellie bean.” You smiled, tears still in your eyes as you leaned your head against the crown of her head.
And for the first time in a long time you felt like your heart could breathe again.
A month passed and you still hadn’t confessed your feelings to the man that’s been consuming your very brain for a year. You still hung out whenever you could, but telling Joel how you felt about him still terrified you. But as time passed, you allowed yourself to believe the words your sister and Ellie told you. It was very freeing.
One thing that didn’t change though was your stubbornness. You are certain you will always hate asking people for help. Like for example, the fact that your shower head was acting up so much you couldn’t take proper showers which made you have to use Emilie’s shower at her place sometimes. Until the shower head actually broke.
That’s why a few days later, you were standing in front of Joel’s door, contemplating if you should really ask him for his help. You bit your lip as you thought about it. Sighing, you told yourself that you should just do it. As you were about to knock, the door opened.
Your eyes widened as you came face to face with Joel. Your cheeks heat up as you lock eyes with him. You know you shouldn't be flustered right now because he is the only one who can help you. And he did tell you that you could always come to him if you needed his help. Or for anything really. But somehow, you still couldn’t help but feel shy around him.
“Sweetheart?” Joel looked at you worriedly.
“H-hi?” You smiled sheepishly. “Am I coming at a bad time?”
“No, ‘course not.” He shook his head slightly, a soft smile curled upon his lips. “Everything alright?”
“I am alright, it’s just,” you trailed off as you looked away shyly. “I think I might need your help.”
Joel closed the door behind him as he kept his gaze on you. He motioned for you to show the way. “Let’s go.”
You giggled as you shook your head light heartedly. “You don’t even know what I need your help for.”
“That’s where you're wrong darlin’. A little birdie told me your shower head is broken.” Joel’s mouth twitched in mild amusement as you just gaped at him.
Oh my god… Emilie.
Your face burned once again. You couldn’t believe that your sister would tell the person you’re desperately in love with about this. You felt embarrassed, knowing that he knew about you struggling. As if he could read your thoughts, “I only know since yesterday, but I wanted you to come to me when you were ready.” He said as he looked at you, a gentle smile on his lips.
“O-okay.” You said, groaning internally at your stuttering. “Anyways, yes. I need your help with fixing my shower. I hope that’s okay?” You asked hesitatingly.
“‘Course it is. Show the way, pretty girl.” He winked, beckoning for you to move along.
He thinks I’m pretty?
Joel was standing in your shower as he tried to fix the shower head. He smiled as he threw you a thumbs up.
“Ah, here we go. This should work now—” Joel’s smile faltered as water started unexpectedly spraying out of the shower head. Surprised, it slipped out of his hands, dropping to the floor, the spray pointing up at him, which drenched Joel quickly.
Your eyes widened as you took Joel in. His white shirt and jeans are both drenched and sticking to his body. You could see the outline of everything. Your body turned flush with heat as you continued to stare at him. You couldn’t help but find him so hot, with his shirt clinging to his body. He grumbled as he looked down at the state of his clothes. Eventually you moved into action, “O-oh let me get you a towel!” you blurted out. You quickly made your way to one of your closets in your bedroom, rummaging for some spare towels.
“Y/N stop being such a creep.” You grumbled to yourself, embarrassed that you were staring at him so unabashedly. You’re worried that he might think you’re creepy, staring at him like he was the sexiest man you’ve ever seen. Well, actually, he was the sexiest man to you. But you didn’t want him to think of you as some sort of weirdo. That’s the last thing you want, for him to think you’re creepy. As you found the towels you were still in such a deep inner monologue while you walked back into the bathroom.
“I found the towels—” you gasp, accidentally dropping the towels on the floor as you took Joel in.
The man had taken off his shirt, most likely because he didn’t like the feel of the fabric clinging to his body. He took your breath away. As you once again stared at him you couldn’t help but let your wide eyes wander all over his chest. He was broad, he wasn’t really muscular but he had a solid build. He was strong and large, and soft in the right places. There were some scars littered over his skin here and there, as a result of the years of fighting to try and stay alive. Some hair was scattered over his body, your eyes trailing along his happy trail, eventually disappearing underneath his jeans. You felt yourself ache between your legs as your eyes continued to roam over his form, studying him with so much intensity. You were still admiring him when he spoke up.
“I’m not really nice to look at.” He mumbled.
Your heart ached at his self deprecated words. You couldn’t believe what he said. How could he think of himself so lowly? You thought he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. “W-what?” You said as you shook your head frantically.
“I’m not—”
“Joel Miller, you better stop bringing yourself down.” You said sternly, surprising both of you. You sighed loudly as he looked at you with wide eyes, “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand the need for you to put yourself down when you’re far from unattractive.”
Silence fell for a couple of moments. Until Joel exhaled shakily. “You-you think I’m attractive?” The man asked, he seemed so doubtful.
“I thought that was pretty obvious…” you trailed off shyly as you looked at the tiled floor between your two feet. “I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone else.” You chuckled nervously.
You heard him grunt softly before hearing his wet, heavy steps, as he slowly made his way to you. Joel grasped your chin gently, tilting your face towards him. You felt your cheeks burn, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his touch. Your eyes lock with his as he looks at you desperately.
“You think I’m attractive?” He repeated his earlier question more pleadingly.
“I don’t only think you’re attractive… you’re so beautiful. So pretty. Handsome…” you trailed off as you duck your head timidly. “Sexy.” You said apprehensively, before looking away from him. “I think you’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen.”
“I think you’re beautiful as well. The prettiest little thing that has ever walked this earth.” He whispers, his voice coming out a lot deeper. “Words can not describe how beautiful you are. Inside-out.”
You felt your breath catch in your chest as you felt your body tremble at his words. You slowly looked up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. You couldn’t help but like how he was towering over you. He was so broad, so strong. You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly weak as his gaze stayed locked with yours. You felt light headed at the close proximity. You could barely think straight.
He brought his hands down to your waist, holding your body close to his as he smiled warmly down at you. He whispered your name, breath hitching as he looked at you intently. “Sweetheart…”
You breathed his name softly before his lips connected with yours in a gentle kiss. You gasped in surprise at his actions, but you quickly closed your eyes as he deepened the kiss. Joel’s large hands cupped the side of your face in such a tender way it made your insides melt. Never did you think you’d ever be able to feel his lips on yours. And here he was, kissing you. Your arms wrapped around his back, your fingers digging in his back the action making him grunt. His beard was rough against your soft skin, but was so welcomed. You kissed him back just as deeply, hands stroking up and down his back in a soothing manner.
He held you tighter against his body before slowly pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as both of you breathed heavily against each other's lips.
“I hope that was okay.” He said with a gentle smile. Tears welled up in your eyes as you processed what happened, having a hard time to believe that their kiss really happened. Never in your life were you ever able to keep your heavy emotions in control. Certainly not when you were overwhelmed. His forehead furrowed, concern flashing through his eyes. “What’s wrong Darlin’?”
God, why do I have to get so emotional?
“I am so sorry I just. I feel a bit overwhelmed because I always thought you’d never feel anything for me.” You rambled anxiously and your fingers trembled as they swiped under your eyes. “If you have any feelings for me, that is.”
“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled gently, his hands cupping your cheeks. Softly, he brushed your tears away with his thumbs. “Especially after… you know, kissing you.” He said with a teasing lilt in his voice.
“Yeah maybe…” you shrugged with a giggle, “you do have a point.”
“I do, don’t I?” He smirked playfully.
“You’re so silly.” You rolled your eyes lightheartedly.
“Only with you darlin’,” he winked.
You felt the heat rise in your face once more. You don’t think you could ever get used to his teasing or his flirtatious behaviour.
“So corny…” you snorted as you shook your head with amusement, “you’re lucky I love you.”
You quickly covered your mouth at the realisation that those words were said out loud. Your heartbeat was beating loudly in your chest, as your wide eyes met his. You wonder if he could hear your heart practically beat out of your chest.
His breath hitched in his throat, as his eyes bored into yours. “You mean that?”
Heat overwhelmed your body, feeling as if you’re on fire. Your mouth felt extremely dry, still you tried to swallow, nodding slowly anticipating his next reaction. “I do.”
The molten intensity made you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and stared into each other’s eyes. You felt as if time stopped in that moment, your bodies so close, yet they felt so far. As he held your gaze, he moved his body closer to yours again.
“Joel—” you whispered breathlessly.
He cut you off, kissing you by surprise. Capturing all the words you were about to say. Completely shocked, your whole body froze as you felt his lips claim around yours, hands pulled your face towards his as he kept pressing his lips further, almost to the point it hurt.
All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Like a magnet, you felt your body move closer to his, moving your hands around his shoulders as you kissed him back just as fiercely.
You nibbled on his bottom lip lightly, eliciting a moan from him. Slowly, he pulled away from your lips, to press kisses to your cheek. His lips slowly travelled all over your face. You whimper as his mouth moved from your jaw to your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses all over your neck, your hands moved towards his hair, tugging lightly at the roots.
“How long have you been feeling like this?” He questioned, his beard scratching your neck as he continued to kiss your neck. Your body trembled against his as he continued to suck, kiss and lick your neck.
“Hmmm?”
Joel groaned and stopped his actions when you didn’t reply to his question, pulling back to look at your face. You feel his stare, waiting for your response. You hadn’t realised your eyes fell closed as you were enjoying his kisses. Unhurriedly, you opened your eyes, looking right into his.
You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you decided to tell him the truth. How could you not? When he’s looking at you with so much desperation.
“Like… at least a half year ago?” You answered, your hesitant eyes looking into his own.
Joel groaned loudly, enveloping your lips with his once again. He kissed you with so much passion, giving you everything that had to offer. His mouth moves against yours so hungrily. As he continued to give you long and deep kisses, you felt the heat rising within you. The throbbing between your legs felt unbearable as you whimpered desperately against his lips.
“I love you too baby, so fuckin’ much.” He rasped against your lips.
A gasp left your lips at his words and he deepened the kiss even more, as he quickly took the opportunity to slip his tongue past your parted lips and swirling it around yours. You felt as if your whole body was on fire as you continued to kiss each other ferociously, your fingers raking through his peppered hair.
He grunted as he pushed your body against the wall. His arms wrap around your body, holding your body close against his. You whimpered as his lips travelled from your lips to your throat, nipping at the skin which resulted in you squirming in his hold. Your hands busied themselves with exploring his exposed back, caressing his skin.
He moved his mouth towards your ear, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dreaming about holding you.” He murmured. Joel’s lips travelled towards your shoulder while littering your skin with soft kisses. “Kissing you.” His hands wandered unhurriedly against your back, his hands eventually settled on your lower back, just above your ass. “Touching you.”
“Please,” you whined as you tried chasing his lips again, gripping his strong arms with your hands.
“Tell me what you need, baby girl.” He whispered raspily into your ear. A shiver went down your spine at his words. Joel’s voice carried so much emotion. So much desperation and adoration for you. “I love this baby blue dress on you. Although it’s really killing me right now.” He groans against your neck as his hands finally move to your ass over your frilly summer dress, grabbing a handful of your cheeks.
You felt even more wetness pool between your legs as you thought about the fact that you weren’t wearing any lingerie underneath.
You turned into a bigger whimpering mess as he kept littering your neck, shoulders and face with kisses. You felt one of his legs sliding between your legs, pressing his thigh against your exposed core.
“Fuck,” you moaned.
Joel lifted his head and your eyes caught his, his lips finding yours in a rough kiss, not wasting any time as he slipped his tongue past your lips. The man is wrapped around you completely, a hand caressing your back, the other holding your ass. Your body trembled as Joel started rubbing his thigh against your soaked core. You’ve never wanted someone more in your whole life.
“Joel,” you whined desperately.
“Tell me what you want kitten.” He groaned.
A loud whimper escaped your lips at his words. The pet name turned you on extremely. Your hips moved against his thigh, grinding against the clothed material.
“I want you.”
A string of moans slipped past your lips as Joel moved his head up to lick into your mouth.
“Pleaseee.” You whined against his lips as you rubbed your sensitive pussy against his jeans. “I need you.”
“Fuck, you’re so wet.”
“Ah!” You gasped as he picked you up effortlessly. Quickly, you wrapped your legs around his hips. The both of you continued to kiss each other passionately as Joel carried you to your bedroom. Once he reached your bed he softly placed you down the sheets.
You felt the bed dip before he hovered above you. Joel’s dark eyes stare into yours as his hands move underneath the skirt of your dress, his fingers trailing up your thigh. You felt yourself grow nervous at his touch.
“W-wait.” You whispered.
His movements halt immediately at your words. He looked at you worriedly, “you okay, sweetheart?”
You wanted him so badly and you were extremely wet but you would be lying if you weren’t a bit nervous. Everything seemed more real once his touch moved closer to your intimate parts.
You exhaled deeply. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, I want this. I literally want you so badly, but I’ve never been with someone intimately.” You said nervously as you waited for his reaction.
“Oh baby girl,” he whispered, looking at you tenderly. “Don’t you worry about that. I will take good care of you.” He smiled as he leaned down to rub his nose gently against yours. “But, we don’t need to do anything if you’re not ready.”
“I am ready, I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You nibbled anxiously at your bottom lip.
“Baby, you could never disappoint me with this. You'll always be a good lover to me. You’re literally perfect. I promise.” Joel smiled gently, looking at you with so much adoration before he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body relax once his lips touched your skin. You trusted him, he was your everything.
Your lips moved to his neck before you placed an open mouthed kiss to his skin. “Please Joel, I need you.” You whispered seductively into his ear.
He groaned loudly before engulfing your lips in a heated kiss. You whimpered against his mouth as his hands started slowly caressing both of your thighs. Your head was clouded with so much lust, you felt so much love for him. Your brain turned quite literally into mush as you continued to kiss each other deeply.
You moved your hips desperately as you moaned against his lips, hoping Joel would get the hint.
“Such a needy kitten.” He chuckled against your lips.
“Only for you.” You whispered as you looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, touch me.”
“I am touching you.” He counters playfully.
“Please.” You whined desperately as you wiggled underneath him.
Moments later his lips pressed against yours again. The kiss got more heated the more you kissed each other. Your hands wander to the back of his head and you pull at some strands softly making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands slowly trailed up your thigh once again. Your whimpers came out more frequently the closer his hand moved to where you needed him the most. Once his fingers come in contact with your heat you mewl loudly.
“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, you’re certain because he felt how soaked you were for him. “You’re so fuckin’ wet baby girl. All for me?”
You were overwhelmed with warmth, it felt like a hot storm — as he spoke those words. You nodded frantically. You were sopping wet, you managed to speak but your voice is strangled and pathetic. “P-please. T-take off your clothes.”
“And leave you in this dress? Out of question.” He chuckled as he moved the hand that was touching your wetness to your thigh.
“Who said I wanted to stay in this dress?” You said as you raised one of your eyebrows at him.
“Baby—”
“Undress me cowboy.” You smiled as you pulled your bottom lip with your teeth seductively.
“God, you’ll be the death of me.” He groaned loudly.
“My name is Y/N but god sounds good too.” You giggled.
Joel shook his head with an amused grin on his face. His fingertips find the hem of your dress and you sit up a bit. You raised your arms quickly to help him get rid of your baby blue dress.
You felt your body tremble in anticipation, as his eyes roamed all over your naked body, his eyes not being able to stick to one place. You felt your heartbeat picking up as his hands reached for your hips, holding them and pressing your body closer to his. His lips moved to ghost over your neck, slowly moving below your ear. “You’re out of this world. So beautiful.” He whispered into your ear.
His lips then crashed against yours as you gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing, and took it upon yourself to guide his hand back down to your heat. His mouth fell from yours to unleash a heavy groan into your neck at the first slip of his fingers between your wet lips.
It's very, fucking wet, more wet than you'd honestly ever been and certainly more wet than he could've imagined in his wildest dreams.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful sweet girl,” he muttered again in a very raw tone, his voice strained. His lips trail slowly down to your neck, all the way to your chest. Joel breathed in through his nose, you flush harder at his words and shivered when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “The prettiest little thing I’ve ever seen.”
That’s all you’ve been given before he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked passionately, as he also pushed one of his fingers inside your pussy.
The whine that came out of you only drove Joel to seek out more of those heavenly sounds.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He moaned, as your pussy clenched around his digit. “I need to prepare you as much as I can for my cock.”
Your whines became louder as you felt the pleasure overwhelm you. His fingers are so much bigger than yours, one of his fingers is more pleasurable than any of your fingers.
His tongue began licking, long licks with the flat of his tongue over your hard nipple as his other hand kept pumping his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace.
You whined as your core started clenching around his finger, begging for more. Instinctively you began moving your hips, grinding against his hand, as he groaned against your skin. His lips left your breast with a wet pop and he looked at you intensely as he continued to fuck you with his finger. You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight as he slowly slipped another finger inside you. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.
“Good girl, you’re doing so well for me.” He panted against your lips.
You bucked your hips up towards his hand in response, silently begging for more. He noticed and slipped a third finger in, moving them slowly at first as your tight pussy tried to adjust to the addition. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucks you slowly with his fingers. You felt so full, you can’t help but imagine him fucking you with his cock, you’re quite certain he’s massive. His pace eventually speeds up as you move your hips along with his movements. His lips moved back to kiss you, whining against his mouth. Your hands clutched the bed sheets as you moved along with the pace of his fingers, feeling him curl them and spreading them.
“That feels good doesn't it baby? You like it when I play with your little pussy? You like me fucking you with my fingers?" Joel moaned and his thumb connected with your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he fucked you with his fingers. You bucked your hips and nodded as you moaned. "Use your words kitten," he taunts.
“Fuck, yes. Yes, please oh my god. Joel, please.” You writhed against the sheets as you whimpered. “Please keep calling me that.” You bit your lip as you squeezed your eyes shut.
“You’re such a good kitty for me,” he said, a smug smirk playing on his face. You were impressed how easy it was for this man above you to turn you on and make a mess of you.
Joel leans his head back down, trapping your lips in yet another heated kiss. You felt your legs spread even more open for him as you felt yourself get close to your first orgasm of the night. His tongue slipped into your mouth after another gasp fell from your lips. You couldn’t help but moan, whine and whimper as he continued to pleasure you. Your hands wandered to the back of his head pulling at hair softly making him moan into your mouth.
“Fuck, I need you so bad.” He groaned as his thumb applied more pressure on your little nub. He curled his fingers forward with every penetration until your thighs shook.
“I need you more.” You whimpered as your body trembled underneath his.
His eyes stared into yours, lust and love written all over them. When he fastened his motions inside you, you moaned again and squeezed your eyes shut. A burning intense feeling, a tight coil in your lower abdomen made your back arch beneath him.
“Open your eyes for me, my baby.”
You opened your eyes slowly, looking straight into his eyes. His intense gaze was what it took for you to come undone. The hot feeling spread all over your body, your body tingled, your hips moving at their own accord against Joel’s hand.
“You’re doing so well for me angel,” He said proudly as his fingers slowed down, slipping out of you to rub your slit softly, still helping you ride out your orgasm.
As you came back to your senses, you felt his fingers slip away from your heat. You felt your pussy clench around nothing every now and then and were dripping down the sheets, which made you whimper helplessly. You needed him so bad. And now. Joel climbed off the bed, making quick work to remove all of his clothing. You were still in a daze, closing your eyes for a minute. Moments later you felt the bed dip.
You felt your legs being spread further apart with his strong hands. A loud broken moan left your lips at the feel of his mouth meeting your soaking wet pussy. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet muscle and sucking your button into his mouth.
You practically screamed at his actions, arching your back slightly off the bed once again. You felt your body trembling terribly. You needed more. You tried to grind your wetness slowly against his lips as your body continued to shake.
Strong arms were suddenly locked around your thighs, securing your hips with his biceps, holding you still despite your attempts to grind your pussy against his lips.
“You taste so good, baby girl. I could eat this pussy all day.”
You felt heat overwhelm your senses more as you felt Joel chuckle against your heat. His tongue was lapping sloppily at your lower lips. Squeaky, senseless noises came out from your throat. You were squirming, it was so good you could barely even figure out what he was doing with his tongue.
“Fuck, Joel baby, oh my goooood” you cried out loud. You were certain that if people walked outside your house that they would have heard you by now. He sucked lazily at your clit while he moved to slip two fingers into you. Joel eventually sucked harder on your clit, still occasionally swirling his tongue around your little bud while moving his fingers inside you a bit faster. You kept chanting his name between moans as you now hold onto his hair with both of your hands.
“Please, I’m so cloooooose.” You whined.
As Joel sucked your clit harder, you gasped loudly as you felt your whole body trembling even more and then you felt your body tense as you came against his mouth. Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt truly overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body continued to tremble as you felt yourself come down from your high.
You felt Joel’s tongue still licking up your pussy as he retreats his fingers from your pulsing hole. His mouth felt heavenly, but you whined at the sensitivity. He moaned as he licked against your tight hole, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your entrance.
“T-too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.
Joel ignored your pleads, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you love so much that was between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises spur him on, to move his lips back up to your clit. He sucked the nub softly between his lips. You were grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling off your lips. This time he didn’t hold you back from fucking his face. Eventually he leaned down, slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraging him to do it again.
You were a mess of his name, you chanted his name over and over again. Your hips moved against his face as you continued to whimper and moan breathlessly underneath him. Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Defiance and greed consumes your thoughts, your fingers once again gripped onto his peppered hair rather harshly and hips pushed against his face to shove his tongue deeper into your hole.
“Ahhh Joeeeeel—” you drag out. You were really so close, you just needed one more little push.
“Come for me kitten,” he whispered against you, before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. That does it, your dam broke down as you came against his mouth as your whole body wouldn’t stop trembling. You came with a loud whine, your hips stuttering as your vision turned white. You cry out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. Your fingers were tightly woven through Joel’s hair and your hips pushed so far against his face, you almost thought you were suffocating him.
“You’re always doing so good for me baby, I love you so much my sweetheart.” Joel whispered against you. As you slowly came down to reality again and you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently, until you whined because the overstimulation was getting too much for you. You Nudged your leg against his face as you tried to squirm away from him, Joel’s mouth finally detached from your heat.
He quickly licked the wetness off his lips and the places he could reach before he crawled up to you with a smile, to kiss you deeply, cupping your face in his hands. You moaned at the taste of yourself against his tongue, your eyes fluttering against his skin while you kiss, his wet beard against your face, your arms wrapped around him to pull his body closer against yours. You sighed, against his mouth, you felt yourself melt in his embrace already. You can feel his soft mouth smiling against yours, as the kiss gets more heated.
Soon your hands start to grip his body tighter against yours, your legs tangling together. It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other.
You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his cock. It turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.
“Oh, fuck” Joel rasped, and it was because he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you squirm underneath him, and back down. He loved the sounds you made as he spread his precum around your slit, where you are still dripping for him.
You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You quickly realised by the way he felt while he rubbed against you that he was huge. You were still so wet, but the thought of him finally entering you with his big cock made you wetter. Joel swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against yours. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.
You were trembling against him, filled with anticipation. His broad body covered your body with his. Loving how bigger and taller he was than you. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and making you see white.
“Are you ready for me darlin’?” He whispered as he looked deep into your eyes. “Let me know if you want me to stop and I will.” He promised.
You bit your lip and nodded, too shy and excited to talk, as you rubbed your pussy against his dick.
“Fuck,” he grunted, “I need you to use your words kitty.”
“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly.
“I’ll try to go slow at first, okay, sweetheart?” He said before leaning back down to kiss your lips again, he reached down and grasped himself to line up between your lips and slide. He rubbed the tip firmly over your swollen clit then moved down to your wet tight hole and your mind was all over the place.
“P-please J-Joel…” you stuttered as your body trembled even more underneath him.
He rubbed himself up and down your slit for a while longer before one of his hands lean down to spread your outer lips sliding his dick teasingly around your core. You arched your back slightly and whimpered loudly out of frustration.
The moment you want to beg him again he leaned down to line it up with your entrance. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. Joel slid the tip in so slowly it was agonising. Your lips part with a gasp. He was careful, like he was afraid you might break. You let out a long broken whine as he gradually pushed more of him inside you. You whined at the stretch of him. He was so big. You thought big was an understatement, he’s huge. Your tight pussy clenched around him as it tried to accommodate his massive girth. Joel continued to push more of his cock inside you. He leaned down to kiss your lips gently as he moved more inside, hoping the sweetness of the embrace will soften the sting.
His hips stilled once he heard you gasp loudly. “So full…”
“Do you think you can handle more?” He smiled tenderly as he looked down at you.
“T-t-there’s m-more?” You stammered with wide eyes.
“Yeah,” he said breathlessly.
“Please,” You closed your eyes and whined as you nodded. You gripped the bed sheets between your fingers as you begged him for more.
“Good girl,” he groaned softly. You thought there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he said those words you felt your heat get sopping wet. Your pussy continued to pulse and clench around his cock as he moved deeper inside you.
Once he bottomed out, you felt his tip kiss your cervix. Joel let his body rest against yours as he allowed you to adjust to his size. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging your fingernails into his shoulders.You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.
His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.
You needed more.
You slowly opened your eyes to look up at him with pleading eyes. “Please, Joel.”
“My sweet girl needs me to move?” He asked teasingly, as he cocked his head to the side.
“Yes, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thickness rather hard which made him moan. “I need you to fuck me so bad.”
He licked his lips before he nodded quietly and started moving slow and deep, one hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other held your hand tightly. The sting was hurting for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you is mixed between pain and pleasure.
He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it.
“Such a tight pussy,” he groaned.
The angle was so good, but when his pace picked up he finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action made you gasp and you grab at the sheets around you, to fuck you harder and faster.
“You’re taking me so well, baby. Doing so so, good for me. Y-you’re so perfect.” He whispered as he nuzzled his face against your neck.
You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a passionate kiss. At a certain point you felt the end of his strokes slide into a pressure point in your core that has you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. A loud noise like nothing you’ve ever made escaped your throat, a strange cry of his name.
“Feeling good sweetheart?” He grunted, a small smirk forming on his lips.
His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed your mewls, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulled tight, tight, tighter. His lips slid away from yours, wet and swollen and his breathing harsh as he tried to suck in air again, and everything was too much. It was just too much for you to handle.
He quickened his pace, his hips snapped up to yours to a fast tempo. “This pussy was made for this cock, isn’t it, baby girl?”
His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You moaned at the feeling of his speed, your fourth? orgasm of the night, coming so close. Your arms wrapped around him and your nails dig in his back making him groan. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “You look so pretty when you’re stretched around my cock, Christ I bet you’d look so pretty full of my cum too.”
“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Joel, fill this pussy up.”
He groaned as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.
“You want to cum sweetheart?”
You nodded frantically at his words with your eyes closed as you bit your lip harshly. He brought one of his hands down, rubbing your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’d cum.
“F-fuck fuuuck, Joel-Joel, oh my god. I’m going to—!”
“Cum for me, my pretty angel. Let yourself go. Cum all over me.” He moaned against your ear.
Your whole body trembled as you came with a loud cry, your body squirming underneath his as you held his body closer to yours, your nails digging in his back, scratching it. That time around, the orgasm felt more intense than the others, you were feeling so overwhelmed by the pleasure. Joel groaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.
“Fuck,“ he moaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Until it’s all full and messy?”
You nodded vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”
He groaned loudly, as he cummed inside you. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread within your walls. You whimpered at the feel of his cum dripping out of you.
Once both of you caught your breaths, Joel leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.
“Please… stay.” You moaned softly.
“Of course baby,” he whispered before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“Want you to stay inside.” You whimpered as your pussy clenched around him.
Joel groaned, wrapping his arms around you before rolling both of you onto your sides. “anythin’ for you, baby.”
“I love you Joel.” You nuzzled your head into the crook of his neck, enjoying his strong hold on you.
“I love you too sweetheart. You’re everythin’ to me.”
Both of you continued to caress each other’s bodies, whispering sweet nothings, kissing and holding each other until you both fell into a slumber.
Joel caught your heart, promising to hold onto it forever.
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bird-inacage · 5 months
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Only Friends: Sand's Reaction to Ray VS Boeing
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I know some people will be annoyed that Sand wasn't more forceful in telling Boeing to leave him alone. In my opinion, this isn't really surprising. Sand's biggest strength and weakness is his kindness. He'll make concessions for people, even those who hurt him. Ray is a prime example. Why would his ex be any different?
Boeing's Dubious Intentions
It's glaringly obvious just how uncomfortable, stiff and exasperated Sand's body language is during their second exchange. This is someone he shared his ultimate dreams and passions with, which must have made the betrayal even more devastating. We still don't have the full context as to how this all went down, but I'm sure Sand hasn't forgotten that Boeing chose to leave him. Compared to their first re-encounter where Sand appears rattled and somewhat flustered, here he seems to display a more resolute lack of patience, possibly after reminding himself of Boeing's true colours.
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This doesn't erase the fact that Sand had feelings for him once, cared about him once. Sand didn't choose to end the relationship, Boeing did. So there would have been unresolved feelings that Sand had to process alone in the aftermath. For Boeing to have the audacity to swan back in rightly warrants a less than lukewarm response.
Even so, Sand shows Boeing an incredible amount of grace when he certainly doesn't have to. He tries to calmly but firmly ward Boeing off. "State your business". "Just forget it. I don't think I'll go." "Just friendship. That I can give you." He makes it very clear that Boeing can find him at the bar but nowhere else. He's trying to establish a distinct boundary, which Boeing swiftly disregards.
Sand's Unease: Where Past & Present Collide
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The way Sand is reacting says to me he desperately doesn't want Ray involved. He seems eager to keep him well away from Boeing. Sand could have chosen not to mention his ex's sudden reappearance, but decides to be upfront with Ray about it. I think Sand's turmoil is a sign of worry over what Boeing may do, rather than an indication of indecisiveness over his own feelings. The reason I say this is because Sand doesn't show any warmth, residual affection or happiness in seeing Boeing again. He looks mostly wary, unnerved even.
I can also see why Sand would try to refrain from openly displaying his feelings for Ray in Boeing's presence. If he exhibits just how much he cares about Ray, whose to say whether Boeing may pull another stunt like he did with Mew/Top and try to pursue Ray instead just to be messy. The way Sand looks at Boeing is laden with suspicion and uneasiness, particularly when Ray is around. This is really noticeable when Boeing first addresses Ray - Sand's whole demeanour gets much colder and standoffish.
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We don't know precisely what Sand is afraid of - that Boeing may target any ill will at Ray? Or that Ray may be affected by his ex flaunting details about their history which could cause jealousy? Things are going really well between Ray and Sand right now but it's possible Boeing could try to stir up a misunderstanding or create conflict between them.
Ray's Protectiveness: "Deal with him or I'll do it."
Ray knows better than ever what Sand is like. He's all too aware of just how painfully kind and caring his boyfriend can be, often to his own detriment. Boeing is keen to exploit this very fact by trying to appear imploring towards Sand, "You never yell at me." Ray is also acutely familiar with how Sand struggles to say no to those he cares about.
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Whilst Ray observes angrily, I like to think this comes from a place of being mad for Sand more than anything. If he's seen their entire interaction play out, he'll notice that Sand has not once initiated physical contact with Boeing. He doesn't shirk him off, but he certainly doesn't respond either. He keeps his arms firmly planted at his sides, and yet Boeing keeps trying his luck. Something about the way Boeing behaves with Sand feels like he treats him as a plaything - someone he used to have wrapped around his finger. Perhaps he thinks that the power he used to have over Sand still remains.
Sand's expressions also feel loaded with shame, as if he's repeatedly chiding himself for being foolish enough to love someone like Boeing, who so cruelly tossed him aside. That somehow he feels partly to blame. Maybe this is a Sand he doesn't want Ray to see. Yet here Ray is, on the side-lines, taking all this in.
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From their very first interaction, Boeing is trying to undermine Ray. You can see Ray's growth as he doesn't confront or make a fuss, but chooses to respect Sand's wishes and instead stays quietly hidden to keep watch. He looks to Sand for confirmation he'll be okay on his own before leaving. Though he can detect something isn't right, he allows Sand the opportunity to handle this first.
As soon as he sees Boeing trying to cross a line, he steps in. He's not going to permit Boeing trying to drag Sand off somewhere alone, he'd rather keep the enemy directly under his nose.
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What I'm hoping to see in Episode 12 is protective Ray to come out full force. I've said this before but the entire series has been Sand looking after Ray. Whereas this would be a great opportunity for Ray to look out for Sand, and to teach Boeing a lesson at the same time.
That eye contact in the last scene was so loaded. Ray's gaze is a silent threat- 'That's my man you're looking at, don't get used to it. If you're really stupid enough to try anything on my watch, I'll tear your neck out.' Don't ever underestimate Ray, he's small but feisty.
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enbyobeyme · 11 months
Note
Mc with kalim from twst's personality. Just curious on your view on this one
MC Is A Rich Ray of Sunshine with the Seven Brothers
I decided to headcanons for each of them rather than mini fics for each of them but lemme know if u want it redone!
Gn Mc, some TWST references.
Lucifer
Oh no…
From the start, Lucifer wonders how the hell you are even going to survive in the Devildom— your soul's the embodiment of purity, and you're also incredibly naive and gullible.
Not to mention you constantly end up lending his brothers your wealth, much to his headache— where did you even find a place to exchange Madol for Grim?!
He has to make it very clear to all the lower demons that you were chosen by Diavolo and not someone to be messed with at all.
Still as time goes on you grow on him.
You never seem to get angry or upset, and it is so refreshing to have such a sweet person by his side.
It's like the sunshine baby x grumpy protector dynamic. He's kinda like your Jamil.
Furthermore, you're always there to support and encourage him and his brothers. It almost annoys him with how soft he is for you.
However he does lecture you when you do something especially dumb.
Mammon
You're telling him the human he's watching is rich AND dumb??? Count him in.
No seriously when he finds out how generous you are he is MOOCHING off of you. You don't even get upset with him for losing the thousand you lent him! You don't have a greedy bone in your body
Lucifer has to smack him a few times and give him one hell of a lecture for him to stop since Lucifer knows that lecturing you wouldn't work.
After that he does feel guilty for using you, but you're not mad at him??? And you're so nice??? Honestly after being degraded by his siblings so long it feels nice to have someone that's so kind to him.
He still teases you for being so clueless all the time though, however, whenever someone else does it he immediately gets defensive! Only he can bully you.
You are both dumb together <3
Leviathan
Scared and envious.
Not only are you so ridiculously rich and kind, but you're also a huge extrovert, ew no thanks!
He honestly dreads interacting with you at first because you don't notice his shyness at all and keep talking to him and oh no you're dragging him outside of his room to show him something!
As he gets to know you he gets more envious. How can other people not bother you??? Why are you so nice??? Practically everyone here loves you! You never get jealous or mad or anything and ugh he wishes he could be like that.
You actually listen to his interests even if you don't understand him and he falls in love then and there. You won't find him cringe or weird??? Strange…
He seldom holds your dumbness over your head and becomes super protective of you. It's easy to forget that Leviathan was originally planned to be a canonical Yandere/psychopath like Belphie.
May mooch off you for anime merch but he always pays you back unlike SOMEBODY!!
Satan
You piss him off so much. Where's your rage??? Your anger??? 
Lucifer practically insults you to your face all the time and you just agree and laugh it off? What the fuck? You're so patient and he doesn't understand it at all. To make it worse you are so endearingly stupid too that he feels like an asshole for being mean to you.
You're the exact opposite of him. And yet you both work together so well once he actually starts to get to know you. He definitely wasn't the kindest to you when you first came down. He probably had you hand cursed stuff to Lucifer or prank you.
He apologizes for all of that though, and becomes your tutor for devildom subjects and you both become an iconic dynamic.
You're always there to calm him down and he's always there to fight a bitch in your honor. You're there to be cute and dumb and he'll be your brain.
Swears that he would never use your money but he's just saying it would be nice to get that million dollar tome…
Asmodeus
Awww you're so gullible and cute! It's gonna be so fun to corrupt you…. Or so he thought…
Honestly everything he says goes over your head. Not a single innuendo sticks in your brain because it it so smooth, so it just slides off.
He actually doesn't really tease or bully you and would even let you know when someone's being mean to you, but you're just okay with it? 
He finds you so adorable and makes it known much to everyone's chagrin. You always compliment him for him and not his looks and you seem to really want to know him? It really touches his heart and he's absolutely smitten with this dumbass.
He may occasionally beg you to take him shopping but he swears to make it up to you! Congrats on your sugar baby!
Beelzebub 
Yall are both dumb together, but thankfully Beel is less dumb.
The absolute nicest on this list. He never makes fun of you or finds you weird at all, in fact, he finds you quite admirable! Seriously his brothers could learn a thing or two from you!
You're always so nice to him and everybody around him! And then you offer to pay for his meals?! Oh he's in love.
You now have your own puppydog/bodyguard hybrid.
Belphegor
He hates you so much.
Seriously, how can someone be so positive all the time?! It really gets on his nerves.
You're too kind for your own good, don't you know people will take advantage of you down here? Seriously, how dumb do you have to be.
Belphie just gets annoyed with you. Sometimes he just wants to be a hater but you're here making him see the good in everything.
He definitely uses you're naivety to his advantage though and has you carry pranks to Lucifer without you realizing.
Lightly teases you but only he can do it pt 2.
As you grow on him be becomes fond of you and you sorta remind him of Beel and Lilith. It often makes him nostalgic. 
He would kill for you.
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xanasaurusrex · 6 months
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ zeus cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ
a/n: these are my headcanons for the children of zeus! i love thinking about what traits kids of certain gods and goddesses would have, and since zeus is the king of the gods, i thought it would only be fitting to start with zeus! these are less about like powers and stuff like that and more just about how they would be as people!
zeus kids can get kinda crazy
they're always the life of the party, and yet somehow they also shut down the party?
they're just good at knowing when things are getting too out of hand
speaking of knowing things
it's almost as if they have a sixth sense in knowing things, just like general things
oh this person liked this other person
the zeus kids already knew
you cheated on your math test?
yeah, they had a feeling
that kinda stuff
zeus kids also all weirdly have this universal little tic where when they're really bored, they'll rub their hands against something that can create static, and then play with the static in their hands
they can do the thing where they kind of roll it from one finger to another, and then back again
they can also utilize this to shock people, but only ever so slightly
technically they could summon a whole storm and electrocute someone, but very rarely do they have that urge
another thing to mention:
zeus children can hold a grudge
they're masters at being mad at someone for something they did days, weeks, months, or even years in the past that likely they forgot they did
but zeus kids didn't
they never forget
honestly even a bad first impression can really affect your relationship with a child of zeus, because they don't forget things easily
their minds are steel traps
children of zeus are also natural born leaders
this can cause quite the scene when there are multiple zeus kids up for a leadership position because they all fall into a leader role just naturally
a lot of people appreciate this because they're saved from having to lead themselves
but others find this incredibly annoying, and think that zeus kids are all very arrogant and full of themselves
there are some that are like that, thinking they're better because their dad is zeus
but that kind of reaction to being a child of zeus is pretty rare
most of the time it brings them great annoyance because monsters can smell them from farther away, and it makes them much more eligible for dangerous quests, which sometimes is a good thing, but when the mortality rate for a quest that dangerous is usually 0, it can be a little daunting
probably the best trait that children of zeus possess is their loyalty
i understand that this probably doesn't make much sense, considering the fact that zeus was never really known for being very loyal to pretty much anyone in his life
but zeus kids are
this is observed the best during battle, when they would do anything and everything for the people fighting alongside them
they're loyal friends and lovers, too
which, again, doesn't make a lot of sense when looking at who their dad is
but a lot of their lives have been negatively affected by him being disloyal, so a lot of them have a tendency to make sure they're loyal so that they don't end up like him
as amazing as zeus thinks he is, a lot of his kids aren't his biggest fans
in conclusion, zeus kids are pretty cool
they definitely have their flaws
(such as having a tendency to flake last minute when it comes to making plans with other people)
but ultimately they're pretty good people
they're very skilled when it comes to battle, and they're good friends
basically just good people to surround yourself with
a/n: so i won't be doing author's notes at the end of everything, but i just wanted to thank you for reading my very first official post! i'm going to be doing headcanons for the other gods and goddesses, both major and minor, because i just find writing for that kinda stuff really fun! also i really love headcanons (totally not because they're easier to write than full fics, definitely not at all)
anyways, thanks for reading, and be on a lookout for more stuff in the future!
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versegm · 11 months
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Goredolf insists on meeting every new servant summoned to Chaldea.
First of all, he is literally the director; he wants people to at least have a vague idea of who he is and why he’s important here. Second of all, he almost had a heart attack the first time he walked into the cafeteria and ran into three different people wearing Koyanskaya’s face, so he wants the head’s up in case someone like Limbo or Rasputin gets summoned one day.
Unfortunately, that also means that sometimes, he gets in situations like this one.
“Hello!” The new servant makes a little wave of the hand. “I was told to come meet you after my summoning. Happy to meet you!”
They’re wearing white, loose clothes, with black streaks here and there. He is pretty sure it’s a mystic code of sorts. They have black gloves and thick boots, the kind one brings for mountain climbing.
What they do not have, however, is a head.
It’s not even a Hessian situation. There is no black hole, no void, no fog to hide the deed. The servant has legs, a stomach, a chest, a neck, and then suddenly it gets cut off part a certain point. Goredolf can see the bare flesh on the cut, the blood pumping beneath, and even a bit of spinal cord. Needless to say, it’s quite disturbing.  
“My eyes are up there, director.” The servant says with a laugh, pointing at the empty space above the that definitely does not have eyes. “You shouldn’t be staring too much. It’ll make you sick.”
Goredolf coughs into his fist. “Apologies. I did not mean to be rude. It is merely a surprising sight, as you can imagine.” Still, he can’t help sneaking another glance at that neck. “Did you die of beheading?”
“Bit of a personal question, don’t you think?” Goredolf hears a laugh at the end of their sentence, though, so they’re probably? Not offended? Where is their voice even coming from? Goredolf genuinely can’t tell. “Mostly though, I forgot what I looked like. Don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure I’ll remember eventually.”
This is either a very obvious lie, or an incredibly sad fact, so Goredolf decides not to push it. “Anyways. I am Goredolf Musik, the director of Chaldea. As they probably already told you.” He adds hastily, remembering how the servant referred to him by title earlier.
The servant’s neck bobs forward. It takes Goredolf a second to realize this is meant to be a nod. “And I am Caster of Antartica.”
Ooh. It’s one of those. Circumstances being as they are, Goredolf often finds himself forgetting that knowing a servant’s true name is kind of A Big Deal. Rare are those who stick to anonymity- and even then, Goredolf is certain they’ve already disclosed their name to the Master specifically.
Goredolf’s gaze rakes the servant up and down once more. Caster of Antartica… Someone from an expedition to the poles, perhaps? A survivor of The Terror?
He’ll have to do some research later. For now, he extends a hand to them. “Glad to have you on board.”
“Likewise.” The servant says cheerfully. They grab Goredolf’s offered palm, shake it, and-
Their hand.
Their hand
Is
Trembling.
The clothes can be changed. The face can be hidden. The voice can be tweaked. But the hands. The hands. The hands. Trembling hands, scarred hands, damaged hands. Goredolf would recognize them anywhere. No glove on this earth, no matter how thick, would be enough to hide this tremble.
Goredolf pales. “You are-”
The servant suddenly pulls on his arm, and Goredolf tumbles right into their embrace, cut mid-sentence. They wrap both arms around him into a hug, rubbing circles against his back.
“My, Director. Don’t you know it’s rude to use the wrong name when someone introduce themself as something else?”
Their voice is friendly. Their hands are warm. Goredolf feels so, so deathly cold. “But- you-”
“Am merely a heroic spirit who heard a call for help, and decided to lend a hand. That is all there is to it.” They part from him with a tap on his shoulder. If they had a face, Goredolf just know they would be smiling, with that annoying fucking smile they always use when they are profoundly sad. “Now I believe my presence is upsetting you, so I will take my leave. Hopefully our paths will never cross again.”
They turn to leave, but Goredolf grabs onto the hem of their shirt. (He doesn’t recognize this uniform. Is this what they wore, prior to the lostbelts? Is it what they will wear, in the future?) “Wait! Does… does the Master know?”
The servant pauses, and Goredolf realizes how stupid of a question that was. Of course they do. The Master is many thing- lacking in common sense, way too friendly, garbage at magecraft- but if there’s one thing they have figured out, it’s servants. Of course they would know. Of course.
“… Don’t tell them.” The servant says eventually. “To say it out loud would be to speak it into existence. So long as no one says it, we can pretend. You can grant us that small mercy, can't you? Let us pretend?”
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cookii-moon · 8 months
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I think post DOTD Cole still deserves to be at least a tiny bit affected by his time as a ghost yk
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Explanations!!
Ngl the fact that Cole literally defied life and death and we never talk about it makes me sad like cmon it’s so interesting we give Lloyd Oni dragon features and Nya water features but we NEVER talk about when Cole literally transcended the barrier of ACTUAL DEATH. He should get more than a scar that vanishes afterwards and some cool powers SO IM GIVING HIM IT because this fandom has a criminal lack of ghost Cole content
So yeah here’s my explanations for each thingy plus my headcanons slash fanon
You can find the exact lines and contents in the ID if you can’t read my messy handwriting or tell what my messy sketches are supposed to be dndfjhgfdhgi know I know it’s very bad anyways
first one is self explanatory, Kai’s worried about Cole because the guy was dead and came back to life, Cole denies it (no it’s not ship but idm if ur a lavashipper and want it to be ship you can tag it if you wanna) because he’s Cole ofc he’s gonna deny it he’s an idiot. Meanwhile we go on to list alll the ways it’s most definitely 100% affecting him.
first one. the Cole vision. BASICALLY I follow the theory ghosts have different eyes, and when designing those eye, I take inspiration from lizard eyes. A lot of lizards, particularly nocturnal ones, not only have good night vision but can also see many more colors than humans, so I applied that to ghost eyes as well, essentially sight is one of their few senses that aren’t muted. They have night vision and can also see a much broader spectrum of color than humans can.
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Since Cole has his scar on the left side, he also gets a ghost eye on the left side, which still has all the advantages he did as a ghost. On the other hand, his right eye is back to usual, meaning it doesn’t get those advantages and he’s still red/green colorblind in it. That means his left and right vision is pretty different now, which takes quite a lot of getting used to. Obviously this would be easier to show with a colored thing but it was. Hard to color for obvious reasons (you can’t demonstrate someone being able to see more colors than humans because we will always interpret it as a color we can see due to how we filter it) the ghost eye stays his entire life and there’s not really anything he can do about it.
Onto the arm - the markings are essentially burn marks / scars from his lava arms, and his nails are claws. I see ghosts as getting less and less human as time goes on because they forget who they were and what they looked like, therefore being incapable of mimicking a human form. Because Cole was around the ninja he never got far, but he did end up with some intrinsic ghost traits that carried over, like the claws. He has tried cutting them but it basically requires a massive claw clipper and even then they grow back very quickly and you can still see that they’re claws, they’re just less obnoxiously sharp. He usually opts to hide them with gloves a lot of the time. The claws are also permanent, but he can regularly trim them to be less obvious and also less annoying and more manageable.
The one where he’s scared of water is. Self explanatory. Obviously he has a big fear of water after coming back from the dead. Even just a few drops can send him into a panic attack. It gets better eventually with exposure therapy, though it may still cause him to be anxious around it at times.
most people have already done the “Cole runs into doors and walls after coming back from being a ghost lol” but like. It makes sense. So.
Right. Onto the ANGSTTTT.
“Everything is too much” refers to his sensory issues. Now obviously Cole is autistic /lh so he’s always had some sensory issues, but oh boy. Getting the ability to feel literally everything instantly after so long of not having it whatsoever?? Yikes. Pretty much everything is obnoxiously and incredibly overwhelming to him. it goes back to the usual after a lot of help from his family, though! :)
“But also”. Aka the image of him looking out at the stars. Lot more vague. Interpret it as you wish. There’s a few intended meanings to it but go ahead and figure them out for yourself. I will say that going with the idea that it’s dissociation related, he has a tendency to dissociate a lot after coming back (which is strange since he used to be pretty grounded). It never really goes away.
”Too little” ok so this one DEFINITELY needs explanation. I talked about how he’s overwhelmed. Well. Sometimes he’ll have bouts where it’s the exact opposite. He’ll suddenly feel a cold chill followed by a spreading numbness. Sometimes it’s just his hand, or his arm, other times it’s his entire body. It’s basically a psychological thing, sort of like phantom limbs except instead of a feeling where there is an absence, it’s more of an absence where there should be a feeling. Of course it’s absolutely terrifying for him, but the others eventually learn how to help ground him when it happens. Over time It gets less frequent but it doesn’t go away.
Anyways yeah that’s all I just. Think there should not only be more ghost Cole content but also. More post ghost Cole. He’s gotta be impacted SOMEHOW. Right.
Anyways yeah this is that so like
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not-poignant · 2 months
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Hi, Pia.....Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks if you want to answer...
Hi anon!
So... they change and tbh I'm going to forget a ton of characters I love and then scream in my head later like 'oh no but THAT character and THAT character and THAT character' but I'll do my best!
Kiriyama Rei from March Comes in Like a Lion - Probably my favourite character possibly of all time. Introverted, kind of ace-coded right up until the end of the manga when it changes (and since the anime never ended he stays ace-coded throughout that lmao), very human, extremely depressed, and I just think he's a very good depiction of like...what it's like to live with extremely repressive depression and post-trauma while not necessarily knowing you have those things.
Dazai Osamu from Bungou Stray Dogs - He's a brilliant intellect genius with too much ability to know so much about the world that he kind of ends up suicidal all the time due to his upbringing / some of the things he's done and also what he's experienced. I just enjoy him. (Notable runner up here is Nakahara Chuuya but dslkajf)
Felix Harrowgate from the Doctrine of Labyrinths trilogy - Angsty, PTSD, waspish, 'I'm going to hurt you because I was hurt and then hate myself and do very self-destructive things about it but keep that part a secret so I just look like a constant dickhead,' brilliant, very good at magic. Love this dude. Would walk hundreds of miles for this dude, like the song. Would definitely write a long-ass fanfic about him.
Daeshik from Love So Pure - I love this guy SO much. He's a side-story / secondary pairing in the manhwa but I LOVE him because he's so against type. He's dorky but not in a very cute way, he's overbearing, he's SO neurodivergent coded it's painful and sometimes hilarious, he's determined and ambitious, he's not 'hot' in any typical kind of twink way, and I know he's split the fandom between 'god he's so annoying' and 'Daeshik is the BEST.' The whole webtoon is fucking amazing anyway, but Daeshik has my whole heart in his journey from 'dorky annoying overbearing friend' to 'oh I just realised I'm gay and now everything is Pride Pride Pride and I'm definitely crying next to a dildo I bought that was too big for me.'
Presenting Daeshik:
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You'll never guess what he's sitting on sdlkjfas (he fails abjectly and then cries about it in a way that's kind of hilarious honestly).
Dana Scully from The X-Files - I didn't know it at the time, but this was very much my bisexual awakening. I mean I'm pretty heavily ace now, but I'm mostly not into cishet dudes, and I had pictures of Scully up on my wall like how did I not fucking know. Anyway, scientist, smart, 'so done with your shit' and just wry and witty and *clenches fist* so short and tiny and powerful. I love her. (And Gillian Anderson).
Loki from the MCU - Not necessarily every iteration, but I do love how Tom Hiddleston plays him, and I appreciate the queerer representation. Adore this guy. Look at him, what an absolute dickhead of a god. 10/10 would read him in hurt/comfort fics and PWPs again.
Hyunsoo Seo and Youngchan Baek from Perfect Buddy / XXX Buddy - Possibly my favourite manhwa of all time and I really hope that stays true because it's not finished yet. Idk how to describe these characters because they're both very complex as you get to know them better, but basically 'angry wet cat man with past trauma that he hides exceptionally well vs. Gwyn-dimensioned blond puppy dog who is just pretending to be a puppy dog because he knows exactly how threatening he is and is willing to be to protect the people he loves.'
Murderbot in the Murderbot novella series - I think all of us - or most of us - find Murderbot incredibly relatable and that's refreshing as fuck in any novel series tbh. (ART as runner-up though, love that fucker).
Sebastian Michaelis from Kuroshitsuji / Black Butler - Honestly there were a lot of kind of 'extremely powerful but kind of shitty fuckboys' I wanted to put in this category including Gojou Satoru from JJK, Reigen from MP100, and even Louis from Beastars, but Sebastian's gonna win out because I still don't know if he's going to eat Ciel at the end of that series and I very much love not knowing because he's such a devious fuckhead. Love that not-actually-a-man.
Yuurakutei Yakumo (Kikuhiku) from Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu - I just... *flails* Almost no one has seen this anime series and it kind of kills me because firstly the books were written by someone practiced in writing BL and even though this isn't BL you can still tell the vibes are there. Secondly, one of the most ace-coded characters ever. Gender-fuckery abounds, which is fun. Thirdly just, honestly, more folks should watch this?
There were a lot of characters I know I missed but I'm pretty satisfied with this list.
I've just given myself a bunch of stuff to rewatch and reread because of this anon! :D
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steddieas-shegoes · 11 months
Note
I come bearing a request! I need some wish fulfilment in my life, so Robin & Steve still meeting and becoming platonic soulmates even without all the Upside Down? Feel free to combine this with others or go wild with it in any direction you want. I love your writing, and I’m really looking forward to seeing all of these when they come out, I’m sure people have had so many good ideas!
THANK YOU!!!! I loved this idea. I love their friendship so much, it reminds me sooooo much of me and my person. Even though you said I could mix it in with another one, this felt like something I wanted to make the main focus. They're platonic soulmates, so they find each other no matter the circumstances or universe. I hope you like what I came up with! - Mickala ❤️
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Steve was so lost. He followed the map, or tried to at least, but still ended up by the music building instead of the library.
He was certain there was a joke there about jocks not being able to find the library, but his head hurt, and he was hungry, and he was exhausted.
His first few days of classes had been overwhelming to say the least. He’d only registered for three classes, already knowing his work schedule would keep him too busy to handle more.
It would mean graduating later, but it would also mean more freedom from his parents.
That was more important.
But he carved out an entire afternoon to go to the library this week and so far, he’d wasted an hour walking to the wrong library, back to his car to get the campus map, and then, apparently, the wrong direction.
He was about two seconds away from crying.
He inhaled. He exhaled.
He leaned back against the wall of the music building and slid down until he was sitting on the ground.
It was his day off so nothing was stopping him from just sitting here until he found the energy to walk back to his car.
Except for the person currently tripping over his legs.
“Shit! Who sits on the ground outside? Who does that?”
The girl looked at him, eyes squinting as she took in his visibly pitiful appearance.
“Dingus! Why are you on the ground?”
She sounded annoyed, but also a little amused?
“Sorry. I’m just lost and tired.”
She searched his face, probably trying to figure out how someone like him could be this lost.
“Where are you trying to be?”
“Library.”
“That’s on the other side of campus.”
“I know that now, thanks.”
He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with people, especially not someone who already seemed to not like him because he was in the way.
But she wouldn’t go away, despite the fact that she was clearly in a rush before.
“Weren’t going inside?” He couldn’t help asking, hoping she’d forget about him and leave him to mope for a bit longer.
“I was. But you’re kind of depressing and I think it can wait.”
That’s awesome to hear. He kind of felt like the tears he’d been holding back on for ten minutes now were going to fall and he’d make a bigger fool out of himself and this girl would probably call campus security thinking he’s nuts.
“Dude. You’re kind of losing it. It’s only the first week.”
Yeah, well.
“I’ll be fine. Just go to class. You’re obviously running late.”
“First of all, it’s practice, not class. I’m in the marching band. Scholarship duties or whatever. Second of all, I’m not leaving you here. You look like you’re gonna throw up and die.”
Steve rolled his eyes. This girl was incredibly dramatic.
It was definitely entertaining at least.
“I’m not gonna die.”
“But you might throw up?” The girl looked disgusted. “Do it behind the building at least.”
He was a little nauseous, but that was probably just the anxiety and exhaustion mixed with not eating in a while.
Did he even have breakfast today?
Shit. He didn’t have breakfast.
“Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna go inside and tell them there’s an emergency and I can’t stay. The director is cool, he won’t even ask questions.” The girl was waving her hands around like that would help explain her plan. It didn’t. “Then, I walk you to the library. You buy me a snack at the cafe next to it so I can make the walk back here. We never see each other again, I pretend you’re not as pitiful as you look, and you learn where the library is.”
In theory, that sounded fine. But in practice, he wasn’t gonna waste her time.
The library closed in two hours and he wouldn’t have nearly enough time to do what he needed to by the time he got there, so why waste the energy walking all that way? Especially if it caused someone else to waste their time?
“It’s alright. Go to practice. I’m just gonna walk back to my car and head to the dorm.”
“You live on campus? Which dorm?”
“Grayson Hall. Why?”
There was only one co-ed dorm on campus, so the odds of her living in the same building as him were slim to none.
“Me too! Dude, do you think you could wait for me to be done with practice and drive us both back? It’s dark when I leave and my usual ride is sick.”
Steve should’ve said no. He didn’t even know this girl’s name. She seemed kind of crazy. Like, who asked a stranger for a ride and told them where they lived?
“You don’t have much stranger danger knowledge do you?”
“I think I can take you if I have to. You’re pale and you have bags under your eyes the size of the moon. I took a self defense class before I came here. My parents insisted.”
“Uh.” Well, he couldn’t really think of a reason not to at this point. “Okay.”
“Great! I’m Robin. You are…?”
“Steve.”
“Cool. See you in two hours dingus!”
He didn’t get a chance to respond before she was in the building.
Alright then.
————————-
Robin was kind of insane. But in the best way.
Steve hadn’t really had friends since the first two years of high school.
He’d gotten the shit kicked out of him twice in a row and “fell from grace” by junior year.
He couldn’t even find a place with the nerds. He wasn’t enough of anything. Not enough of a jock. Not enough of a smart kid. Not enough of a nerd. Not enough of a bad boy.
Not enough.
But the more time he spent with Robin, the more he felt like he could be.
She teased him relentlessly, sure, but she let him tease her back.
She was patient with him when he didn’t understand something, taking time to explain an assignment that confused him.
She was a sophomore, didn’t have to take a gap year like he did. She got a scholarship right out of high school.
He cut himself off from his parents right out of high school. The moment he did, he was completely on his own.
He had very little savings, just enough to rent a room in a house with a few people he didn’t know outside of town. He worked two jobs for a while, making sure he was putting away anything extra, living “slim” as one of his roommates used to say.
He didn’t have time to make friends.
And when he got accepted into college, he knew it would be the same.
He was paying for school himself, and he wasn’t smart enough to get an academic scholarship, or good enough at any of the sports he played in high school to get a sports scholarship. That meant he had to work at least one full time job while he took classes.
But that didn’t deter Robin.
She showed up at his door every morning with a smile and some crazy story about what happened at band practice the day before.
Band kids were kind of crazy. Robin was a little crazy.
He loved her.
She brought so much to his life, so much he didn’t realize he’d been missing.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear he was in love.
But he did know better.
Before she even came out to him, he knew she was different. Not a bad different, just the kind that he wasn’t wanting to be involved with romantically. Something was telling him she wasn’t interested in him either.
So one month into the semester, while they were studying together on Steve’s lunch break at work, she told him.
“I’m gonna say something that will either make you hate me or make us closer than ever.”
“Okay?”
“Just promise me no matter how you take it, you won’t tell anyone else. It would be dangerous for me.”
Dangerous? Was she in the mafia or something?
“I won’t tell anyone.”
He wouldn’t. But he was a little scared he’d end up in a ditch somewhere.
“I’m. Okay so. You know how you’re into women?”
This is not what Steve expected.
“…yeah?”
“Okay. I’m. Also into women?”
Steve sat silently. Waiting for her to say more.
Robin just stared at him, nervously biting her nails.
“And?” Steve asked when she didn’t continue on her own.
“And…that’s it? I’m a lesbian.”
“Oh.”
Oh, that’s it? Nothing mafia related? Cool.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I mean I expected something bad.”
“You don’t think that’s bad?”
“No? Should I?”
Robin looked like she was going to cry and that couldn’t happen because they were in public and Steve still didn’t know what to do to comfort people when they cried.
“Don’t cry. Please. I think you’re amazing, Robin. It doesn’t matter if you like women. I like women so, like, I get it.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do! I mean, boobs. Am I right?”
Robin let out a bark of a laugh.
“Yeah, boobs. Hard to resist.”
They smiled at each other, then looked back at their books.
He got lucky with Robin.
He got lucky that she’d found him when he was lost and kept him going the right way since.
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missielynne · 20 days
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CBS Ghosts Review: Halloween 3, The Guest Who Wouldn't Leave
I am happy to see that from all my anons and other messages that lots of people agree with me about this being the best episode of the season so far. Cause it was, not to mention the best Halloween episode. I hope they continue to get creepier and weirder as the show goes on cause that would be awesome!
Now I'm not always a fan of the episodes where Sam and Jay try and social climb cause I don't like the people they become when they try and get on the good sides of those who can pull them upward (as I said to past anons, bring Mark back and find other normal people friends for them please, please please!)
But at the same time, the particular ritzy characters in this episode were perfect for it with how big their fear reactions were when they thought Jay was gonna murder them. Loved it.
And then there's Carol. Not really her biggest fan but I love the way Caroline Aaron plays her. And while Sam's behavior toward her was harsh and kind of rude, since she was there by mistake and acting like the awkward parent trying to fit in with the hip young people, I can see why Sam would be annoyed.
I was also surprised that a. they killed her at all b. they killed her so fast. (And I'm glad that was one of the preview snippets. If I'd seen without the heads up I would have been so shocked. I swore at the screen the first time I saw it.)
Her and Pete's reaction to seeing one another was pure gold and absolutely perfect and I love that the other ghosts are just as annoyed with her as Pete is. (Which will hopefully get the 'Pete is a cuckhold' jokes to stop, please and thank you.)
Jay, as usual, was the best sport in the world, going to dig where Flower had died to see if they could get anything that she had on her for the seance (And I mean, the look on the couple's faces when he came in with that shovel and he was covered in dirt? Priceless!)
I feel so bad for poor Pete having to be in the house with his wife who treated him horribly (and I feel even worse for poor Laura, when she finds out what happened thanks to a rogue doughnut hole,) but I'm also thinking that this will allow Carol and Pete to make some sort of peace in order for Carol to move on. (Or even if they just play nice for Laura's sake and that's enough.) Pete has so much baggage about Carol that he needs to unload and now is the time to do it, no holds barred, and I hope the other ghosts will continue to support him in whatever way they can. I can't wait for Pete to finally have his moment.
Also, I wasn't surprised by the reveal about Flower. The only way I would have believed she was truly gone is if we'd actually seen it, and it's incredibly in character for her to just wander off and fall into the well. But it's pretty far out of the way and Hetty seems to be the only one so far who knows about it (or the others know too and they haven't said anything.) Anyway, this was the best episode of the season and one of the best episodes of the entire show to me. Loved it! (as always if I forget to tag people because my list keeps being eaten/disappearing) reviews are always under #missie's ghosts reviews.
@conquester @thedegrassidiaries @cutieshamybabies
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kanerallels · 1 month
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A little late, but the first few chapters of my first-ish Chenford fic are up! They're also prompt fulfillment for @monthly-challenge's Februfluff, day 27: stuck together. First chapter under the cut, the second is up on AO3!
Some people had a hard time believing in the impossible. Lucy Chen had never been one of those people. Sure, it probably helped that she was a vigilante who could manipulate light energy with her bare hands, but that hadn’t always been the case. There had been a time she was just like everyone else.
But that had been a long time ago. Now, when night fell, she was Lyra, one of many vigilantes that patrolled the streets of L.A., looking for people in need and crime to fight. 
Usually, her version of crime fighting saw her out on the streets in her disguise, fighting muggers. But there were the occasional circumstances that required a slightly more delicate approach. And today was one of those circumstances— a restaurant that one of her fellow vigilantes suspected was running drugs out of the back room.
Hence why she was sitting at a table in a nice dress, eating dinner across from the last person in the world she would have expected to be sitting across from about two months ago.
Lucy had met Tim Bradford approximately three months into her work as Lyra. Ex-cop turned woodworking shop owner, he’d been serious and a little grim, but respectful. Lucy had been curious about him when Jackson, her roommate, mentioned him, and had slowly gotten to know him better as time went by— his shop was a few storefronts down from the coffee shop where Lucy was currently employed.
Around the same time, she’d met Orion— the stern, incredibly boss vigilante who was known as the Huntsman by local gangs. He was notorious for his intense attitude, vicious but generally nonlethal attacks, and strict adherence to police procedure when necessary.
Lucy had mostly just found him annoying. Especially since he had a habit of showing up in the middle of her work and lecturing her on what she was doing wrong. And he called her “boot” a lot— which, thanks to being roommates with a cop, she knew what meant. This did not make it any less obnoxious.
They’d gotten off to a rough start, but it wasn’t long before Lucy found herself working with Orion more and more often. He was smart, and they made a good team. And he’d saved her life more times than she could count at this point— although it was definitely true the other way around as well. Which Lucy never let him forget.
All things considered, she shouldn’t have been surprised to find out Orion was Tim. The attitude, some of the jokes, the rookie cop nickname and the stickler for procedure attitude? It made perfect sense.
Somehow, it had still surprised her when she found out. Although her reaction had definitely surprised Tim, and Lucy snorted in amusement at the memory.
Glancing up from his steak, Tim lifted an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothing,” Lucy said, waving a hand. “Just— do you remember when I found out who you were?”
“You mean when I found out who you were?” Tim corrected her. “I basically handed it to you on a platter.”
Rolling her eyes, Lucy said, “As if I didn’t do the same thing for you. Anyways, I was just thinking about it, how I reacted.”
“Oh, I remember that part pretty well,” Tim said with a dramatic wince, and Lucy scoffed.
“If you didn’t want to get slapped, you shouldn’t have called me boot so many times.”
“You’re sounding a little too pleased with yourself there, Chen.”
“Uh-huh.” Holding back a grin, Lucy glanced around the restaurant again. It was a nice place, with a bar at the back and instrumental music playing in the background, overlaid with people’s conversation. You wouldn’t think a place like this would be a front of some kind.
“Hey.” Tim’s voice cut through her thoughts, and she looked back at him. His expression serious, he said, “Stay sharp. Just because it’s got a pretty cover doesn’t mean the Ghost’s intel is off. Generally, she knows what she’s talking about.”
Nodding, Lucy said, “Right, got it. But— how exactly do we find what we’re looking for, here? I mean, we’re probably not going to just stumble across a cash exchange— and even if we did, we’re civilians right now.”
“Which is why tonight is about surveillance and keeping a low profile,” Tim told her. “We watch the waiters and the rest of the staff, and if we can, we’ll get a look inside the kitchens. Anything we can get pictures or proof of, we bring to Lopez, and she gets a search warrant.”
“Got it.” Tapping her fingers against the tabletop, Lucy resisted the urge to look around the restaurant again. No matter how much she wanted to catch these people, she couldn’t make herself conspicuous. It was better to focus on what was in front of her instead.
Namely, Tim, who looked just as impatient as she felt— if the people around them were supposed to think this was a date, they weren’t giving much of an impressive performance. Time to change things up a little.
Leaning forward, Lucy said, “Okay. Tell me about work.”
“What?”
Lucy couldn’t hold back a grin at Tim’s baffled expression. “Come on— we’re supposed to be on a date. If we just sit here in impatient silence, that’s not really going to sell it.”
Nodding, Tim said, “Good point. Uh… work was good. Celina’s finally learning how to use the woodstain without getting it everywhere, which is an upside. She’s a good kid, though. Nolan was right to hire her— don’t tell them I said that, though.”
“What, do you think they’ll figure out that you have a heart?” Lucy said, raising an eyebrow.
“Exactly. I can’t be seen as the good guy here, you know.” Tim quipped back, and she laughed.
“I’m pretty sure that ship has long since sailed.”
“That’s not what you said when we first met.”
Rolling her eyes, Lucy said, “Okay, that barely counts. You were intentionally mean then— wait. Which time are we talking about?”
“Which time are you talking about?” Tim countered.
“The second first time,” Lucy said. “You showed up and immediately started telling me everything I was doing wrong—”
“To be fair, you could have been killed if I hadn’t—”
“—and you wouldn’t stop calling me boot. The first first time you were a lot nicer. Or… less mean, at least.”
“Because you were a customer,” Tim said, taking a drink from his glass of water, “not a rookie vigilante who was about to let a two bit criminal stab her because she hadn’t secured him properly.”
Pointing at him, Lucy said, “See, if this was a real date, this is the part where I’d throw a glass of water in your face and stomp off dramatically.”
Holding up his hands, Tim said, “Hey, you’ve improved a lot since then.”
“Improved?”
“Well, what do you want me to say?”
Tapping her finger against her chin thoughtfully, Lucy said, “Hmm. How about… “Lucy, you’re the best rookie I’ve ever trained”?”
“First of all, I already said that you were one of the best,” Tim pointed out. “Second of all, you’re not a cop, so it barely even counts.”
“It counts!”
Tim opened his mouth to argue, but something caught Lucy’s eye— a man moving towards the kitchen. In one hand, he held a briefcase, and Lucy could make out the clear outlines of a gun under his suit coat.
“Tim,” she said quietly. His gaze snapped to her immediately, and she nodded to the man disappearing into the kitchen. 
Understanding flashed across his face, and she saw his hand twitch, the way it did when he wanted to reach for a gun he no longer wore at his side. “Let’s go,” he said, getting to his feet.
Lucy rose and followed him across the wide main room. None of the other customers so much as glanced at them, and Lucy silently thanked her lucky stars for that.
The main room was partitioned off by low wooden walls framing, but not completely obscuring the dining area. To their left, a walkway led to the entrance. To the right there were two doorways— one leading to the bathrooms. The other at the end of the hall, a swinging door, opened into the kitchen.
As they moved around the corner, Lucy glanced at Tim. “Hey— let me take the first look,” she said, keeping her voice low. “It might look less suspicious if I’m spotted then if you are.”
He gave a brief nod, hanging back a little. As Lucy headed towards the kitchen door, she couldn’t hold back a flicker of pleasure. It couldn’t have been that long ago that Tim wouldn’t have trusted her with this role. Things had changed a lot between them.
Coming to a stop next to the door, Lucy peered over the low swinging door. There was the usual bustle of a restaurant kitchen— cooks weaving their way around each other, the clatter of pans and sounds of voices.
And then Lucy spotted the man with the briefcase. He was talking to another man, with short blond hair and a scar cutting across his brow. The two of them spoke in voices low enough that Lucy couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. 
The briefcase sat open on the counter in between them, the contents obscured by the blond man. If I can just get a better angle… Quietly, Lucy stepped closer, her hand coming to rest on the top of the door as she peered into the kitchen.
She caught a brief glimpse of what could only be cash— stacks of it, lining the inside of the briefcase— before the door under her hand moved slightly, letting out what felt like a shatteringly loud creak.
Both men turned at the sound. Lucy’s heart nearly stopped, and she ducked away, turning her face so they wouldn’t catch sight of her. She couldn’t hear what they were saying over the noise in the kitchen, but she knew criminals. They were paranoid, and with good reason. Which meant there would be someone out here to check in a few seconds.
She sensed rather than saw Tim moving up behind her. “They saw you?”
“Only barely,” Lucy said. Her heart had regained momentum, and was pounding against her collarbone now. “But someone’s going to be out here soon.”
It wouldn’t be long— and they wouldn’t be able to make it back to their table without being spotted. Better to stay here and come up with an excuse, and there was only one that Lucy could think of.
Spinning to face him, she said, “Kiss me.”
His jaw dropped, just slightly. “What?”
Lucy caught what sounded like a creak behind them. Abandoning any pretense of explaining the situation to Tim, she caught hold of his face, and kissed him.
He didn’t freeze, which shouldn’t have surprised her. Tim was a natural at adapting, and they’d been working together long enough that it wouldn’t be too hard for him to pick up on what was going on.
What did surprise her was the kiss. It was supposed to be awkward, embarrassing even, to kiss Tim. It was supposed to be something she wanted to get over with quickly, and not linger on.
It was none of those things. It was the opposite, and so much more. Her heart was pounding and she knew there was something she was supposed to remember, but all she could really register was Tim— his lips against hers, his hand at her waist, tangling in the fabric of her dress.
And then someone cleared their throat, loud enough that it broke through the trance she was in and reminded Lucy where she was, and why. Pulling back, she made eye contact with the man who’d been carrying the briefcase.
Before he could have a chance to speak, she did. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Lucy said, letting an embarrassed half-smile cross her face. She was pretty sure she was a little flushed, which definitely couldn’t hurt the illusion. “We, ah, we didn’t realize anyone was back here, did we?”
For a minute, she didn’t know if Tim would chime in— he was completely still. Lucy could feel his heart beating against her palm resting on his chest. But then he said, “Nope. Is this area off limits?”
“No,” the man said after a brief pause. “But the kitchen is. Why don’t you two go back to your seats?”
Lucy shrugged, flicking a nonchalant look at Tim. “I guess this can wait until later. Come on, babe.”
Catching hold of his hand, Lucy gently tugged Tim after her, forcing herself to move casually and not look back. When they reached their table, she sank into her chair and looked down at her half empty plate. As Tim sat across from her, she asked quietly, “Is he still watching us?”
“He just turned and went back into the kitchen,” Tim told her, and Lucy let out a long breath.
Finally, she looked up at him. His expression was set in the Tim Bradford Cop Expression, which was… understandable, honestly. “Hey— I’m sorry about springing that on you,” Lucy told him, feeling herself flush a little. “It just seemed like the best move at the time.”
“It was,” Tim said, shrugging. “It kept us from getting caught, so, you know. Good work on that.”
“Yeah, you too,” Lucy said, and nearly groaned at her own words. Things were awkward now— and why wouldn’t they be? It made a lot more sense for things to feel awkward than for them to feel… the way they had earlier.
She shoved the thought aside as Tim said, “I don’t think we’re going to get anything else here tonight. Should we—”
“Call a night, yeah,” Lucy finished for him. “Great idea. We can debrief and regroup tomorrow.”
“Sounds good.” Tim turned and waved for a waiter, and Lucy sat back in her chair, holding back a wince.
They paid for their dinner and left the restaurant. Tim had driven them there, so he drove her back to her place first, and walked her up to her apartment. When they reached the door, Lucy hesitated before she went in.
“We’re okay, right?” she asked. The rest of the thoughts that had been boiling in her head came rushing out as she continued. “I— I know it was out of nowhere and— and weird, right? Obviously it was weird, I just know that PDA makes people uncomfortable, so the guy wouldn’t have questioned it as much, and… yeah.”
Tim had waited patiently through her whole rant. When she finally trailed off, he said, “Lucy. It’s fine. I was a cop, remember? I wasn’t a UC, but I still get it. It’s not a big deal.”
“Oh— of course, right,” Lucy said, a little twinge going through her. Of course he’d get it. And of course it wouldn’t affect him. She should never have thought otherwise, even for a second. “Okay, glad we got that settled. Um— talk to you tomorrow?”
“Talk to you tomorrow, Chen.”
And then Lucy was stepping into her apartment, the door was closing behind her, and she was pretty sure she had a headache.
So she did the logical thing and went to bed before Jackson or Tamara could show up and interrogate her about her date or who she’d been with, internally swearing to not think about the whole thing until tomorrow.
Her dreams had other plans. It was like her traitorous brain insisted on reminding her of the kiss— replaying parts of it over and over again until it was hard not to think about it.
Which was stupid. She didn’t have any reason to think about this so much, Lucy reminded herself as she got up to have breakfast before work. It was just one kiss. Didn’t mean anything, especially not from Tim of all people.
Right, her mind said. Tim. Who you used to be interested in. And WHY did she have to remember that right at this moment?
So she’d been interested in him when they first met. She’d been curious about the admittedly handsome, stern stranger who only softened on very rare occasions. But it hadn’t been long before it had been clear to Lucy that Tim wasn’t looking for romance, with her or anyone else. So she’d stuck with just friends, especially after finding out he was Orion. Romance with Orion was unthinkable on a level she couldn’t begin to comprehend.
Or it had been, anyways.
Okay, enough of that. Lucy pushed the thought out of her mind. And continued to do so as she got ready and went into work.
Lucy had worked at Wellington’s Coffee for almost a year now. It was a nice shop— the decor practical and sturdy, matching the personality of the owner, and the wide windows at the front filled the blue walled shop with light. And, luckily for Lucy, she clocked in today right when the lunch rush started. So she had plenty of time to take her mind off of the fiasco that was last night.
Not that that stopped her co-workers from bombarding her with questions. And they weren’t the only ones.
“So, did I hear you went on a date last night?”
As Lucy passed Aaron his coffee, she frowned at him. “Where did you hear that?”
“If I tell you, will you answer the question?” he countered. The younger man was a usual at their shop, and a good friend. He was also a little too invested in Lucy’s love life ever since she’d asked for his advice on how to break up with her last boyfriend. 
Sighing, Lucy said, “Yes. To both, but it wasn’t a big deal— I don’t think we’re going to go out again.”
Aaron’s eyebrows went up. “Really? Cause that’s not what I heard.”
Lucy frowned. “Okay, where exactly are you getting this information?”
“Uh—”
“Lucy!”
Both she and Aaron looked up at the voice calling her name. Tim was striding across the coffeeshop towards her, his expression serious. Which was pretty on brand for him, but Lucy had gotten good at reading the different types of seriousness. There was definitely something wrong right now.
Giving Aaron a brief nod, he turned to her. “Hey. We need to talk.”
“Okay,” Lucy said. “I don’t think anyone’s using the break room right now— follow me.”
She moved out from behind the counter and towards the door marked “employees only” at the back of the shop, Tim on her heels. As she moved, she saw her co-worker, Dark, moving out of the back room, and waved to get his attention. “Hey— I’m taking my break. Can you watch the register?”
“...sure,” Dark said slowly, his voice making it clear he had some questions. Most likely about Tim being there— but honestly, Lucy had neither the time nor energy to handle that.
The break room was, as predicted, empty. Lucy didn’t bother taking a seat, but turned to face Tim. “Okay— what’s up?”
He hesitated, which was definitely rare for him. “Ah… okay. We were seen last night?”
Frowning, Lucy said, “Wait. What do you mean— we weren’t even there as Lyra and Orion, how could we be seen?”
“Not… that kind of seen,” Tim said. “My former watch commander was there having dinner. With his wife.”
What does— and then it clicked, and Lucy’s eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, no— did they see—”
“If he and Luna’s visit to the shop this morning, and her comments about the lovely young woman I had with me are anything to judge by… yeah.”
“Crap,” Lucy whispered, with as much emphasis as she could muster up. Starting to pace back and forth, she rubbed a hand across her forehead. “Okay. This is fine— we can figure this out. I mean, we can’t tell them we were undercover, but we can figure this out. What did you tell them?”
Grimacing, Tim said, “That it was a one time thing, and they were reading too much into it. I don’t think they bought it— and they’re not the only ones who know. Luna told their daughter, who’s friends with Nolan’s kid, who told him, who told Celina—”
“Who told Aaron,” Lucy finished, the realization hitting her like a bus. “That explains a lot. Ugh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to blow up this way.”
“Hey,” Tim said, his voice stern but with just a hint of gentleness that definitely didn’t make Lucy’s heart flutter. Because that would be absurd. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have predicted this.”
“Couldn’t have predicted our friends being incredibly nosy?” Lucy said, lifting an eyebrow.
“Well, that’s pretty much a given at this point,” Tim said wryly. “But it’s still not your fault. They’ll forget about this after a week or two— let’s not worry about it right now.”
“Right,” Lucy said, nodding. “Focus on the job instead. Um… oh! I saw what was in the briefcase last night.”
She gave Tim a quick recap of what she’d seen, from the cash to the man with the scar who’d received it. He listened with a deep, thoughtful frown, not speaking until she finished her description. “I’ll have to check with Lopez— but that does sound like a felon she’s been watching for a while now— Valen Rudor, I think. Guy’s got a long list of charges, and a warrant out for his arrest. But if we can’t get proof he’s there—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Lucy said, nodding slowly. “Okay— any ideas how?”
“Actually, yeah,” Tim said. “It involves going back to that restaurant again tonight, and you doing some light sneaking while I start a fight. You game?”
Oh, this was a bad idea. After the first time, putting herself in a situation where she had to pretend to be Tim’s date again? There was potential for this to end very badly.
But there was a dangerous felon out there who needed to be stopped, and Lucy didn’t back down from a fight. “Count me in,” she said.After all, she thought as she headed back to work, what’s the worst that could happen?
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skwigelfskwisgaar · 5 months
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A Headcanon Dump 2 - Electric Boogaloo
Because I needed these out of my head. No, I won't apologize for these.
Skwisgaar may have jumped from band to band out of sheer boredom, but another glaring issue for him was addictions. He gets dumped by his 2nd band for being a raging addict and manages to get clean, then follows through on it with the rest of his bands. When he's the only one sober enough to play competently, it gets annoying at best or devestatingly tempting at worst.
This also ties in with his other much less obvious addiction - sex, and women and their attention in general. At first, it was something he could do to show he wasn't just big talk - on top of craving some kind of maternal figure for a time to pamper him - that eventually spiraled into his new addiction. Due to the rather toxic enviroment the boys surround themselves with, based on dated stereotypes and what not, no one bats an eye at Skwisgaar falling dick first into a pile of women. Unfortunately, this also became a double-edged sword, where Skwisgaar feels pressured to perform his best in this area, too.
His worst point was immediately after Toki's kidnapping. He hits hard drugs, a first for him with the band. I like to think Pickles immediately tries to sober him up enough to at least not become completely useless. Pickles may be the first band member to really see what Toki really means for Skiwsgaar outside of their call response dynamic on stage.
This said, Skwisgaar probably hates being around Toki post-DR, to see how much mental damage the kidnapping and torment did to his best friend. He can't stand Toki when he is age-regressed because to Skwisgaar, it's a reminder that they didn't try hard enough to find him. It breaks his heart to see his friend literally losing grip with reality, all because they were too busy partying to go find him sooner. He tries to make it up to Toki when he is back to himself, but there's a deep guilt that eats at him for not finding him sooner, for choosing to go back to his addictions and relapsing instead of trying to help find him.
I want to believe that Pickles kinda let the others know what was going on with Skwisgaar when he first got high with them after the kidnapping. Pickles, despite being completely anti-sober, realizes that perhaps there are people who need to be limited if not cut off, and with Skwisgaar he tries his best to limit his access to whatever potent drugs he has on hand.
By the time AOTD rolls in, Skwisgaar has been sober again, mentally strained from the ordeal with Toki, and doesn't have a stready friend to rely on like he used to. Since Bookklok, he and Toki drifted apart so much that even if he is glad that they rescued Toki and he's back he can't really get over the damage Toki's book did to him.
They try to talk about it, realizing that perhaps their dynamic may have changed permanently, and Skwisgaar feels like he lost what he used to have with Toki - a wonderful friendship that got destroyed by his ego and pride. He apologizes, sincerely, but he feels like Toki and him lost trust in each other; Skwisgaar trusted Toki to keep his secrets instead of using them to cut him down, and Toki isn't over the whole 'party to forget' era that the band engaged in to avoid facing the reality of his absence.
Nowadays, he doesn't get high, but when things get to be too much or they push him too far, he drinks and drinks until he blacks out. When he's drinking normally, he gets incredibly flirty with everyone except Toki; it has led to some awkward situations and accusations, primarily from Murderface, to which Skwisgaar says was done in jest.
Skwisgaar has gone to Twinkletits on very few occasions, mostly to get anxiety meds and to cope with his newfound loneliness in the band. He's been encouraged to seek new connections or change up the ones he has now.
Speaking of which, he and Magnus used to be best friends. So much so to the point that when Toki started hanging out with him, Skwisgaar felt double betrayed by the fact that Toki effectively replaced him .... and so did Magnus.
Post-AOTD, Skwisgaar has a hard time finding that comfort he used to have - his anxiety is wearing him down, and the need to constantly improve and perfect his craft keeping him on edge. He's trying to keep himself together, by doing self-care routines and reminding himself he does care and he does matter. Time will time how well he learns from his mistakes and hopefully be able to shed the crippling anxiety and stress of this work.
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ran-orimoto · 2 months
Text
[ Incredible how I will always forget to keep up with my crossposting (?) on Ao3 and Tumblr. I promise you I love you all and you are important to me. It’s just my brain wandering and jumping from a distraction to the following one and so forth. You’re not the problem.
By the way, this is the first one-shot of the year, so I welcomed your request with open arms, fighting against my cringe feelings. I love my Junzumi fankids, they are so important to me and they are *cough* my precious grandchildren. So, like other people say, I should snap out of my silly obsessions and write about them as well, without fear, embarassment.
Now that I have said this uselss stuff, let’s dive into things that matter. Junzumi are in their early fourties here and it’s an Izumi-centered one-shot, set years and years after she manages to open her restaurant in Milan, her Brezzo Petalo. She has received a great news but one that also will place her in front of a hard decision, especially now that her life has completely changed and her dreams have as well in their nature.
To a year full of Junzumi! ]
• Il vento fa solo pisolini •
“È tardi, Tesoro.”
She turned to the pink trail of perfume, to the cloudy halo veiling a pair of brown eyes trying finding her in that colourful mist. She felt so alienated from the whole world at a touch impregnated with a sense of urgence. It came from upwards and gave a delicate yet firm shove on her shoulders, so she could part from a chilly iron bar she had been holding onto for almost half an hour.
Nevertheless, she found it so hard to detach herself from there, her eyes from the bustling sight of people going back and forth and blending in a mosaic of different dialects. She was so annoyed by them, but she wanted to stay there, wait for them to go away one after the other and clear out the panorama stretching outside. A view made of nothingness and everything at the same time. Kilometers of heath and that was it.
But…
But…
But it was Fiumicino, part of Roma, part of her.
“ Izumi…Faremo arrabbiare Papà , se non ci sbrighiamo. Forza.”
The red-haired woman reached out again, this time piercing the smoky candy floss hovering in the air, swabs floating around mother and daughter and being noticed only by the latter. Due to the fact Izumi was feeling so ensnared by the sight of those slowly ascending to the celing, -hopefully, the child considered, to the sky too,- her dangling hand allowed itself to be caught more easily than it had the rest of that whole morning. It was no wonder the woman couldn’t help releasing an exhausted sigh when the success of her attempts finally arrived so unexpectedly.
Behind her hasty march, Izumi deeply sighed as well, which made her grow disgruntled and, most of all, extremely puzzled about the behaviour of her body. She could remember she had stayed up all night because she had had trouble falling asleep, as thrilled and restless as she was. She had also chosen her outfit after having almost thrown her entire wardrobe out of the boxes the clothes had been put in, - obviously driving her mother crazy and making her loudly yell despite the presence of the movers-. After all, not every girl on Earth, at the age of ten, has got the chance to start a new exciting life abroad, in the country they were born in but one they could barely recall: picking a special outfit was a must in that occasion and her choice had fallen on one giving her the appearance of the main heroine from a novel who is ready to set on a grand adventure, -large sun hat with a huge ribbon resembling the ears of a cat from a frontal perspective included-.
New house, new neighbourhood, new city, new breathtaking experiences, new classmates and friends: what else could she have ever asked to elicit the fluttering of her heart? To push her to run to the gate, so fast she imagined her feet leaving the ground, her trolley, her mother, her father in the horizon waiting for them with a shaking of his head, in contrast to his amused grin.
Maybe I don’t want to go, She gasped, but not because of that usual pressure of emptiness that will dominate your stomach whenever a plane takes off. It was because of a certain realization, of the fact it had just dawned on her she had already read that story way too many times.
And only during the first one she had happened to be an enthusiastic and, most of all, oblivious ten-year-old.
XXX
The day before she had received the best news of her life and yet…And yet there was she, sitting at the kitchen table, pensive, waiting for Junpei to come from their youngest’s bedroom.
It was early afternoon, the kids and him had just finished having lunch and she had just returned from the restaurant in a noisy hurry, right at the same time he was putting the children to sleep for their sacred nap hour.
“Give me five minutes,” He had winked at her on the stairs, his thumb on display with confidence, as if she had joined him backstage to plant a good luck kiss on his cheek.
Maybe she should have wished him buona fortuna for real, judging from those five minutes that became ten and then fifteen. Still, as strangled by her deep sighs as she was, she wasn’t paying that much attention to the speed of the running clock hanging on the wall. It was spinning continuously just like those nagging thoughts of hers that had been marching in her mind since that morning, since the first second her eyes had opened and met the ceiling.
“Uh, today has been hard, but there is nothing, I say nothing, a wizard can’t do!”
Junpei finally barged downstairs with his rumbling enthusiasm and a silly twirling dance.
She was already expecting him to approach her and pull her on her feet, but that correct prediction didn’t help her keep herself from striking a forced and fake smile at him. While he was holding a hand of hers and rocking it, pronouncing a bizarre formula he was clearly inventing on the spot, she couldn’t help feeling annoyed, even disgruntled.
Therefore, eventually, at the sight of a little pin shaped as a graceful lillac star appearing on her palm from nowhere, she could only stare at it with a grimace, an imaginary, too sweet smell dominating her nostrils.
“I-I…” Junpei blinked, but didn’t show any sign of disappointment, somehow. He mostly looked surprised about her behaviour, which still made her chest drown in a lake of guilt as that obviously wasn’t the right reaction to a present. “Have you talked to that dandy dude?”
“Yes, I have,” She nodded, averting her gaze. Her fingers flew onto her forehead, pressing themselves against its shifting skin. Of course, when someone has got a fantastic announcement to make, they won’t frown and feel so emaciated, but Izumi was, especially now that she was standing in front of pots of honey and their shiny glass. “He gave me some papers to sign.“
“But this is the best day ever, Cara !” She had also foreseen the way his arms would extend forward to encircle her waist and lift her. As soon as she felt his big hug warmly conveying his excitement from her back to her whole body, she began wishing his clumsy movements could throw her out of the window, into the misty sky, far from her problems, from the upsetting emotions she was going to pour on that dear person of her life.
But she had to tell him and she was sure he would understand. He would, like always, because he was aware in her life she was the only one who knew what was the best choice for her. He would often give her precious advices, but he had never demanded her to follow them, take them in consideration, and she appreciated that so much.
“Maybe it would have been, if I had signed them.”
But the fact was that in that matter she wasn’t only making personal decisions.
“Oh.”
Agreeing to inherit a restaurant in Japan, take her, no, their Brezzo Petalo to a completely different world would have consequences involving their whole family, which she couldn’t allow to happen.
Junpei gently accompanied her to the floor again, his mouth opened and his brown irises pulsing with perplexity.
“I thought over his offer and I think it’s better if things stay the way they are.”
“Even if we are talking about your dream?”
“Even if…” At the sound of his blunt question, she struggled to find the right words to use and preferred to sit again. She was glad Junpei did the same, placing himself at the opposite end of the table, eye to eye with her and her vacillating…Lie.
The kitchen was an important place to her, to them. It was the area of the house they had painted of that soft violet she loved; that corner they had firstly shared in two, successively in five, -six if they didn’t want to ignore their cat-, that niche that had been trusted with their recollections made of laughters and tears. If she turned, she would find herself chuckling at all the drawings the children had hanged on the fridge, the sign of green Kou had permanently engraved near to the dishwasher, the pink butterfly sticker Ran had attached onto a chair, the train toy Toto had begged Junpei to put on the kitchen hood like an ordinary knick-knack.
If she was going to go through that conversation, there wouldn’t be any other room in which that was supposed to happen.
“Izumi, are you really sure this is what you want?” She hadn’t realized her orbs had really escaped onto each of those details of her beloved surroundings, led by petals of a fragrant breeze. She did only when the beats of her heart found an echo in his serious yet tender voice. “If it is, I will be fine with that, of course, but it’s just that…It’s just that you have wanted this for years, since we were in university. This is your chance to do that: to spread the colours and joy of your food with your own wind. Do you remember? You chose to call the restaurant Brezzo Petalo in honour of Fairymon.”
“I do, but I’ve realized I can do that by staying here, meeting tourists, attending to events abroad when I’m invited to them. It’s enough, it really is.”
Her tone had become way too loud for a house hosting three dormant children, so she regained her composure, also exploiting that mute moment to give some pats on her blonde bob, some caresses down her locks: it seemed the whirlwind infuriating in her bosom had managed to disastrously mess up her hair.
“I see…I guess I can say the wind has settled, can I?” Junpei absently commented while contemplating her waving gestures with affectionate enchantment. She had no doubts on Earth only her husband could relax in awe, in the middle of such a big chaos developing before his spheres.
“ Mamma !”
The only being that could quickly distract him from her gorgeous figure couldn’t be anyone else but a smaller, -more capricious, vainer, much more pigheaded-, version of her.
“Mimì-Chan, you told me you would sleep if I told you that story!” Now Izumi was the one growing agape after having assisted to that astounding scene: was he really scolding her over a skipped nap? This was so new to her and she found it hard not to smirk, amused.
“You didn’t tell me how it ends, though,” The kid started swinging back and forth, her arms partly hidden behind her fucsia overall, her green eyes almost seeming to be enlarging to look more innocent than a deer’s. “I can’t fall asleep without knowing how a story ends, Papà. You are unfair.”
“Ehh, in truth I would get so frustrated as well…” He nodded, bringing his index on his lips and looking up, before finding a solution with a cheerful and large grin. “I will reveal you that tonight, then!”
Izumi raised an eyebrow at him, at how fast he could change his mind after having been manipulated by their naughty gremlin. Why do I keep on fooling myself…, She shook her head in an attack of fond exasperation, their chattering continuing in the background.
“Su , Ran. What is it? You arrived here and called for me, not for Papà.”
“Oh,right,” She froze with her arms raised in the man’s direction, making his blissed expression fall when she suddenly ignored his splayed ones. “I want to wash my hair, so I was looking for the hairdryer. Where is it?”
“You aren’t allowed to use the hairdryer. And your hair is fine: you washed it yesterday. Of course it is!”
“It’s not true,” She pouted, crossing her arms with indignation and searching for a support in Junpei. “My hair looks like the fur on the head of the baby camel from the zoo, isn’t it true, Papà? All sloppy and ruffled.”
“Wh-What? Why would I say something so despicable about your beautiful hair?”
“Because she’s right.”
Junpei jumped on his chair and almost fell off it: a stout boy, who was sporting a nest of dark blonde strands and orbs matching his in colour and liveliness, had attempted to whisper in his ear, but had failed because of his hiccuping laughters.
“Why are you two not tired today? Not enough school?” The man muttered, feeling like a poor, unfortunate soul having been just caught by the storm. Both Izumi and him were in desperate need for an umbrella!
Actually, the kids jumped in another bursting argument, even worse, more tumultuous than the one they had had the evening before. Junpei and Izumi had no sibilings, so they weren’t used to those dynamics at all. With nostalgia, Junpei often liked comparing the bickerings between Kou and Ran with the ones that would happen between Izumi and Takuya in the past, with the difference that the Izumi from the new generation was younger and shorter than its Takuya. Nevertheless, the fights still felt so similar to him and to Izumi too, though she would get a bit embarassed about admitting it.
“Instead, your hair will soon receive visits from birds!”
“I love birds, so I wouldn’t care! Try again!”
“Well…A-A whole tree will grow on your head and you will become more stupid than you are now. Pirla !”
“Now, you two…” Izumi stood up and dragged Ran away from her brother. Her puffy cheeks had been washed by a visible red, the shade of those who were aware they had already been cornered at the beginning of a fight.
“ Basta , Koujirou e Miranda, ” Junpei reticently completed her warning and the kids fell tacit at once. Because when the thunder roared, it meant it was better to find a good shelter below which to hide and from which to look at the wuthering sky.
In silence.
Absolute silence.
At least, until that minute of initial scare passed and some brave traveller dared to challenge the might of unbridled natural forces, maybe to check if it was still raining.
“It’s late!” Thus, Ran melted the stillness with a scowling glance she gave at the clock. “It’s late! I have to go to my lesson!”
“What are you talking about ?” Izumi gave a playful slap on the girl’s tense shoulders, helping them sag along with the general mood of the room. “It’s still half past two, mia Fatina stupidina.”
“But I want to wash my hair and it always takes a lot! I don’t want to arrive at lesson late!”
Izumi plunged her chin in that meadow of sunrays, losing herself in the scenario of the ever flowing time. She was so endeared by Ran’s passion for ballet, by her excitement she would show them whenever she had lesson after school. That had been going on since she was three and Junpei had given her an illustrated book of the Nutcracker as a present. Four years that felt like an eternity to their spirits, as if their Ran was already a little star of the stage in her adorable tutu.
There was no way…There was no way…
“Listen,” She felt the impelling need to speak to clear her hoarse throat. “I promise I will make your hair look splendid in your chignon, if you try sleeping a bit. We won’t need to wash it.”
“Really?” Ran started marching on the spot. “And how will you do that?”
“What questions! Of course , with a pinch of magic!”
Despite her jovial answer, the girl seemed less convinced than before, so hesitant and suspicious.
“But you aren’t Papà.”
“I lent Mamma a bit of magic dust long time ago!” Junpei intruded in the conversation with an improvised melody.
“What?!” Kou pulled his tongue out and put his hands on his hips, pouring every single drop of his skepticism on his father. “If you can really use magic, give some to me too!”
“Maybe we will talk about it, when your grades at maths improve.”
The kid threw his tongue out of his mouth again, in utter disgust this time.
“I will need to find Doraemon or something similar to become good at that. And I will also ask him to show me your high grades from when you were my age”.
Junpei’s pallor got fortunately shadowed by Izumi delicately pushing Ran ,and now Kou too, in the direction of the living room. She didn’t seem too shocked when she found their youngest, Tomoki, sitting on the stairs with a bored fashion, ears of wheat lazily dozing against the wood railing. Who would manage to sleep with that ruckus coming from downstairs?
“You three. In your beds. Now,” She clapped her hands making the trio grumble, displeased.
“If Mamma wants me to take a nap, I will,” Resigned, Kou shrugged while suffocating a huff: he wanted to look like a well-mannered kid in front of her, after having disappointed her with his insults and teasing. “Mamma always says I will score more goals if I have my daily nap. No matter I’m nine and I’m a man now.”
Like that, after a fleeting hug, he brought himself on the stairs, followed by the little Tomoki who could only yawn and rub his drowsy emeralds. All of a sudden, though, Kou stopped, and looked back at his sister who didn’t seem that willing to leave yet.
“ Scusa, Ran ,” He said, scratching his strands because of a spike of abashment that made him rapidly flee, not caring about checking what the girl’s response had been or hearing his mother commending him.
“Ran, you promised…” Swiftly, Izumi’s focus took a nosedive on the remaining child.
“Will you really comb my hair and make me look splendid with magic?” Ran pressed, still not completely persuaded about what the woman had told her in the kitchen.
“If you go napping, the magic will work even better,” She snapped her fingers, wishing she could be as skilled as Junpei in that field of jokes and play pretend.
That was the reason why she was glad he decided to collaborate with her once more that day…By adding a theatrical aura to her speech.
“I’ll give her even more of that dust, if you are not convinced. Here, look,” She didn’t immediately recognize the identity of what he had found in some cupboard, but whatever it was, it ended up on her face and made her sneeze.
“ Davvero ! I will really look like a fairy princess today, then!” Ran squealed while hopping on the carpet, the motley butterflies printed on her overall seeming to be fluttering in harmony with her heart. “La Maestra Chiaki will be so impressed! Sogni d’oro, Mamma e Papà”.
And up she went, at a faster speed than her brothers, reaching her bedroom in less than a minute.
“She won’t close her eyes even for a second, I assure you,” Junpei commented, standing still in front of the stairs as if he was expecting the petite blonde to show up again, sooner than soon.
“ Really, Junpei? Saffron powder?” Izumi spat those minuscule granules that had attached themselves to her palate and glared at him, even when he promptly provided her with a handkerchief he took out from one of his many pockets.
“Oh c’mon, now you should have understood kids don’t need to see you flying like Peter Pan to believe you can take a stroll on stars at nights. You will see your chignon will turn a little camel into a little swan. Trust me.”
He had never lost that eccentric way to babble about such weird suff. Indeed, it had been worsening day after day, since that far past moment he volunteered to help her at the restaurant in his own style . Apparently, playing the role of a temporary waiter had never been that satisfying to him, so he decided to become the entertainer of the Brezzo Petalo; the saviour of the bored kids huffing at the tables ; the funny, friendly, always grinning man in a big apron, who would come up with something different everytime he was in Milan and could give a hand to the chef.
She had eventually got his same disease by dint of peeking out from the counter and watching his magical shows, listening to his whimsical tales about men turning stars on thanks to special, suspended light switches; curious cats studying from musical sheets below sparkling nights…
“So, have you found this pin on the Moon?” She hadn’t forgot about his present. She had just let it rest in a warm place on her chest, where it had been patiently waiting for her genuine appreciation.
“On Venus, in truth!” He exclaimed while straightening his back, as if he could give more emphasis to that answer by acting like some comical, plastered toy soldier. Until his well-know awkwardness got the best of his intents, at least. “Which is…Which happened to be…A shop forgotten by the world behind the Duomo. I’ve also bought one for Ran. It looks like a butterfly and I think I will give it to her as a lucky charm.”
“You can’t really resist the temptation to spoil her everytime you go out, hm?”
“I…I…I know what it means to stand on a stage, tremble in front of your audience. I want her to go there without too much anxiety, have something to look at that can make her feel only excitement and determination.”
Without adding anything for that instant, she grabbed his hand and beckoned him to join her on the sofa. She was aware he had noticed hers was sweaty and slightly unstable, but she couldn’t find a single puff of air around her that could allow her to speak. She had inhaled and was keeping them all inside her shaken spirit, allowing them to pinch her vocal chords like if they were harp strings. There was nothing else but a melody in there; an ambiguous one wanting to tell too many different stories at the same time and being unable to do so for a while. It needed the right notes. She needed the right words.
“I think the wind settled when we decided to have three kids,” She started, after an undefined interval spent looking at each other with a mix emotions. He was a bit confused yet he was prepared to discover what the missing puzzle pieces were. From experience, he had learnt Izumi liked opening up gradually, step by step, like shy gusts occasionally sneaking among the leaves of a tree, singing a very slow lullaby to the man having a snooze below it. Unlike when it came to him, she didn’t need a person by her side, a stubborn one extrapolating confessions from her throat. She only needed someone who was patient enough to wait for her to make up her mind, sit next to them and release whatever she wanted to get free of. Out of blue. “I can’t. We can’t, Junpei. They have got a life here, things and people they are affectionate to. Kou has got his football practice, Toto that trains museum he loves going to so much, Ran…”
“Ballet.”
“Not only that!” He risked to fall backwards because of the impetus laced with her desire to correct him. She wished that energy could have soaked her facial traits as well but, on the other hand, her eyebrows unfortunately started twitching, her lips searched for an intimate contact between their two sides, her orbs filled with a sea of contrasting emotions. “She has got La Scala and she has been working so hard to enter the academy. What kind of mother would I be if I clipped her wings like that?”
“Izumi…”
“When I lived in Roma, I used to go to rhythmic gymnastics lessons.”
“This is a news to me,” He encouraged her to continue like that, attempting to keep himself from slipping closer and hugging her, as she took the lid off the sealed jar.
“Well, it never bothered me. It never did until I got a daughter holding onto a precious dream. Mine wasn’t a dream, but I would have fun in there. In all modesty, I was also pretty talented.”
“This, instead, doesn’t surprise me in the least,” It was becoming even harder to restrain himself from cradling her in his embrace, but he endured because she wasn’t quite done yet. She would have slapped him with her usual “ Flatterer ”, if that hadn’t been the case.
“I don’t want Ran to give up on ballet because of me.”
“She wouldn’t, Izumi. If you decided to sign those papers, we would look for a good school for her in Japan. The best one. Japanese ballet dancers exist: Chiaki is an example, isn’t she?”
He gasped when her following question broke in a row of segments. Izumi abruptly lowered her head and the wavering fist on her thigh clenched the pin he had given her.
“And what if…What if…I signed them…? What if…They couldn’t make new friends in Japan or, even worse, got isolated by everyone? Just like…”
She might be tripping on the last shred of her externation, but he was certain it wasn’t necessary for him to press her to go on. She didn’t have to force herself to take herself there , either. It was enough.
The brief rest of his spheres and the sigh generated by who knew what kind of vision represented the ending of his enormous feat.
“We will be fine. They will, and do you know why? Because if you hadn’t moved back to Japan, I would have never met a blonde girl wandering in a station all alone, driving me crazy and making me want to follow her in a dangerous place of fantasy. If it is what is supposed to happen, us returning there so you can achieve a life dream, I feel…No, I know they would find something special there too, just like it happened to us. Trus-“
She abandoned herself in his chest without complaints, her arms stretching as far as they could go to cover his large frame with her whole thankfulness. He pressed her heart against his so vehemently she grew convinced she could transfuse the dream, the nightmare of what felt like hundred nights in some ventricle of its’.
And maybe she really managed to do that, judging from how tighter the hug suddenly got; from how his rotund cheek squished against her boiling ear and wet her ear like a solitary drop of rain.
“I honestly thought it had already done when you married me.”
“What?”
“The wind settling. Hadn’t it already done that when you married me?”
“It absolutely hadn’t,” At first she reluctantly stirred, but as soon as she met his lucid honey, she found the warmth she didn’t want to leave back. Indeed, it was an even more powerful one, engulfing her like the duvet of a bed. “ Because I desperately wanted to divorce you on our honeymoon, when you ate all the chocolate you found in the hotel. A whole plate of chocolate in a day!”
“They just were seven and were so small. It’s not that serious. The bread I ate on the plane made me gag. I needed something tasty in my mouth and I didn’t want to wait any longer”.
“Okay, fine, I won’t carry around this grudge any more, then,” Winking, her eye itched because of a salty feeling lying on its base. “ I will forgive you after years.”
“G-Grazie, Cara”.
“Prego, Caro.”
They blinked at each other. One, two times. The amount of rain still sleeping in the clouds above them finally woke up and began falling on lovely slopes.
Starete bene, The yawning wind in her spirit reassured her, before opening its wings and taking off.
The wind never settles. It just takes naps.
XXX
Italian notes~
• È tardi, Tesoro: It’s late, Dear
• Fiumicino is Roma’s airport but it’s also the name of this big suburb of its’.
• Izumi…Faremo arrabbiare Papà , se non ci sbrighiamo. Forza : Izumi, we will make Dad angry if we don’t hurry. C’mon.
• Buona fortuna: Good luck.
• Basta: enough
• Mia fatina stupidina: My little silly fairy (affectionate XD)
• Scusa: Sorry
• Maestra is our Miss/Sensei XD
• Sogni d’oro is used when we want to wish someone a good sleep. Literally it is “Golden slumbers (?)”
• Starete bene: You will be fine
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tricksterringmaster · 7 months
Note
For the character ask game!
I'd love to hear your thoughts on Severus, Lily, and Sirius for: 23, 24, 35, and 47!
Thank you for participating!
23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?
Tbh, I don't really use scented candles, so it will be all my imagination and a little googling 😂
Severus: I can imagine him smelling like leather and wood, but not in a fresh way, more like a little bitter one. Like an old study room.
Lily: I think out of three of them she's the only one to have some kind of sweet smell. I found one candle that smells like milk & honey online and I have no idea how it would smell in reality, but sounds warm and fitting.
Sirius: It's not really a scented candle, but I have this reed diffuser that smells like tobacco & bergamot, it's pleasant but a little pungent, in my head it suits him as a character who is good but rough around the edges.
24. Most annoying habit
Severus: I love the idea that he pulls his sleeves when he's nervous, but it's the habit most annoying to himself because he has to deal with consequences of it, lol. For people around him it's his talent of collecting books around him like they are on magnets and putting them in weird places. In more emotional sense - his habit of finding someone's sore spot and poking it when he's annoyed, thus escalating the situation or, well, creating the situation.
Lily: Her being quite nagging at times and it's being hard for her to admit that she's the one who is wrong. And also she quite often chooses to ignore problems than dealing with them, until they get out of hand and it becomes hard to do anything, and it applies both to relationships and little casual things like, idk, not fixing the faucet until the whole bathroom gets covered in water.
Sirius: Having ideas he doesn't think through enough, which sometimes work incredibly, but sometimes just doesn't. These things like telling Severus how to get to Remus, running into Gryffindor's dorms with a knife and etc. He's impulsive and it gets him in trouble. Also stopping to care about himself when he gets into his depressive moods, but it's less annoying, more like worrying to others.
35. Their idea of a perfect day
Severus: When he was a teen, these were summer days spent with Lily, when he could run away from his depressive household and go around all town with her and this town somehow seemed less poor and dirty. When he became an adult, a quiet day of reading and brewing with no annyoing children or immediate dangers around, a moment to imagine that nothing around exists and there is no need to be constantly alert.
Lily: As a teen, I'm sure, she loved these summer days when she could freely spend them with her best friend without fear of judgement from her classmates and when on those days he felt less dark and moody. And after the perfect day was when her family could spend it, forgetting how dangerous the world became and just being an ordinary family with James catching Harry on the broom, them saving the cat from being chased and having these hectic but fun moments.
Sirius: As a teen he surely liked days spent with Marauders doing their mischief and feeling so innovative and smart and fun about their adventures and pranks. Then he loved spending days at Potters', because they were his closest people and he loved James, Lily and Harry and ached to see them more often. After Azkaban it's a day when he gets to do something useful and there are a lot of people around so he feels alive again and that the place he takes in this world doesn't seem just temporarily rented.
47. Their dream job
Severus: I believe he'd want to be a scholar with enough freedom to indulge himself in different branches of magic without too many restrictions. He'd probably off himself accidentally at some point like Luna's mom but at least he'd have fun.
Lily: I really like the @rubusart's idea of Lily being a Potions Professor at Hogwarts, and I can see her wanting it. It's something she's good at at a place she loves with people she likes and I personally see her as someone who loves children but has enough backbone to not allow them to lose their minds in class.
Sirius: I really love the idea of Sirius somehow working with animals (because he's just canonically so good with them), he'd be a great magizoologist, and it's a pretty active job, he'd have freedom to see the world or work as a Professor at Hogwarts or maybe both depending on what he craves at any specific moment, I think he's a person who has enough money and needs enough freedom to have such options and change his particular occupation from time to time even if in generally the same direction.
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Teen Wolf 1x07
Still hate the CGI wolf.
Stiles, I know you’re kind of uncoordinated and flaily, but you could have done that faster. Even better, Scott could have done that much faster.
The issue here is that schools have a ridiculous number of entrances.
Nah, I don’t believe it’s Deaton. Like, I think he knows more than he’s saying, but I don’t think it’s him. He likes Scott way too much to torment him like this.
The car battery through the window is actually hilarious.
Locker room is good, but, like, do they have a shop class at this school, because I feel like that may have some useful weapons.
Why did Scott forget that if you’re trying to hide your own noises then the best thing to do is get other things to make a lot of noise. Both Scott and Fuckface have been briefly incapacitated due to loud noises.
Scott, a good boy, whose first reaction is to try to help instead of running.
Stiles, I really feel like the flashlight is more bad than good at this point.
Them outrunning the Alpha is kind of funny. 
So there’s three people that could have contacted Allison: Fuckface and Deaton are super unlikely, so it’s most likely the Alpha, but why? Is it because she’s an Argent?
Lydia looking at Jackson like that because of how he was acting with Allison is hilarious with the amount of times she’s looked at Scott like a snack.
They need to invest in a dog whistle for Stiles and earplugs for Scott.
So, you know how Stiles has this thing where he just does whatever he wants because he rarely has to face consequences because of who his dad is? Yeah, as it turns out, that’s a terrible trait to have.
I would not have given Scott this much leeway. I’d’ve left far sooner.
That is a really big/nice pool set up for a rural high school. Wow.
You know, it’s been a little annoying in previous episodes, but in this episode those super long fucking pauses while everyone looks around fearfully are incredibly frustrating and keep pulling me out of the scene. They’re all panicked except when they want a suspenseful beat and that’s such bad writing/directing/editing. There are ways to do suspenseful beats that make sense and they are very much not doing that in this episode.
Again, somehow four kids are beating the Alpha in a straight sprint. Buddy, my suspension of disbelief can only stretch so far.
This is my least favorite episode so far.
Just say the fucking thing Stiles! For a guy who’s never waited to talk, there’s no reason for you to be waiting for their complete attention. And then when you have it you still find the time to be sarcastic. Ugh.
I don’t know is a perfectly reasonable answer here, and also it’s the truth.
Blaming Fuckface is okay too, but I feel like that’s going to bite you in the ass later.
I love how they’re all turning to Scott like he’s supposed to know when realistically speaking (if this were not supernatural shenanigans) how would he possibly know the answer to that?
Well, you didn’t actually have to say anything, but I still agree with Stiles about throwing Fuckface under the bus. Why is it that I only seem to agree with Stiles when it comes to Fuckface?
Jackson deserved to keep punched in his smug little face, tbh.
Out of curiosity, why are we not haranguing Allison to call her dad? The man also has an arsenal, and did better against the mountain lion than the Sheriff did.
Oh, hey, Chemistry classroom. Molotov cocktail anyone?
Nice, Lydia.
Scott is a horrible liar.
I feel like they could make more in the room for if he goes after them instead of Scott. Like, just in case.
Why did he move the janitor’s body? Why would they think he moved the janitor’s body and that Scott would have to track it by smell so that he was the only one who could find it. It would only make sense if the Alpha knew that they would need something from the janitor to get out and they didn’t need anything from him until they went into that specific room. I’m calling plot hole on that.
Jackson you’re a stupid son of a bitch. Trying to murder Scott is going to get you, what? In this scenario it’s still going to leave you trapped and defenseless against something that terrifies you.
I really don’t understand why Jackson was like halfway to death and then was fine, but is now experiencing some of the pain that Scott is when he wasn’t bitten by an Alpha and certainly was bitten by that Alpha. It doesn’t make any sense. I feel like the more convoluted they make this the more stupid it’s going to be.
Okay, I’m stupid too. He got Allison there to force Scott to change so could kill her together and bond, which is why he’s been toying with them instead of just killing them.
Still, doesn’t explain the janitor.
We have had so many goddamn shots in this episode with Scott slowing walking through the school that honestly haven’t provided anything useful, not even suspense. It would make way more sense for Scott to have sprinted back to the Chemistry room acting out of his mind.
Did we really wait through all of that to get the big emotional beat without even seeing Scott’s face? What the fuck kind of choice was that? We should have seen it up close, in much better lighting, and we should have seen his eyes. Oh my god, I am a terrible director, but that was literally the worst choice they could have made. Also, we didn’t need the flashback, those were both filler and annoying.
This is definitely my least favorite episode.
Fuckface’s car is gone. I can’t imagine the Alpha took it, so I’m guessing Fuckface is still alive.
Imagining the Alpha mopping the floor to cover up the evidence is funny.
Not like the cops can pretend ripping open Stiles’ hood and throwing the battery were imaginary. Or even something that they could have done themselves.
You know what? I love Scott and I feel bad for him, but Allison’s totally right. You can’t fault the girl for this choice, it’s completely understandable.
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