#i know youre from the suburbs you dont gotta act like it
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Back Door Man
hi! this is the first fic i have EVER written ! based on my honey @theyreonlynoodlesmike ‘s hc (that cracks me up every time) that Paul has a thing for married for women <3
Warnings: swearing, discussions of sex, paul being gross
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An unmistakable howling laugh echoed off the walls of the cave.
David looked up from the book in his lap to see the tall, slender blonde bounding down the entry stairs. “Do I even wanna know what kinda trouble you just caused?”
Paul laughed, tossing his head back as he rocked on his heels “Oh man you guys are gonna flip-”
“At this point you couldn’t surprise us if you tried Paul.” Dwayne hadn’t turned to look away from the crate that held a portion of their vinyl collection. Kneeled down next to it and flipping through records, he was seemingly uninterested in the other man’s antics. His indifference was simply an act though, he was always willing to hear about his friends’ escapades.
“Nah nah nah, this is a new one.” Paul had made his way over to one of the couches by now, opening up the large steamer trunk that acted as both storage and a makeshift coffee table. “So,” he spoke as he dug around in the trunk, looking for his pot stash to roll himself his usual post romp joint. “I was with that babe from the diner, ya know-”
“Wow, never heard this one before.” Marko commented from beside him on the couch, cutting Paul off before he could even name the woman in question.
“Wouldya shut up and let me tell my story! Jeez, anyway,” He was bent over his rolling tray now, nimble fingers quickly moving through long practiced motions. “She takes me home. It’s this real nice place in the suburbs, cute lil’ house. So, we’re gettin’ down to business,” He wiggles his eyebrows, mostly to himself, but also on the off chance one of his friends might actually be paying attention to him “Right on the living room couch dude, she didn’t even bother to take me to the bedroom.”
“Nice.” Marko says and at the same time David sighs out “Gross.”
“Yo, Dwayne you want me to roll you one before I put this shit away?” Paul paused his story, he might have been Santa Carla’s biggest sleaze but he always had manners when it came to his friends.
“Yes please.” The brunette responded as he finally settled on a record, standing up from where he'd been crouching. “Might make your grossness a little easier to stomach.” A smile tugged at his lips as he turned to join them in the sitting area.
“So,” Paul huffed out a laugh, both at Dwayne’s response and the direction his story was going in. “I’m like, straight up goin’ to town on her,” He leans back in his seat, tipping his head back as he raises his voice for emphasis. “She’s screaming, clawin’ at my back and shit. Like a damn cat in heat. And then.” He pauses to lick the joint between his fingers and pass it to Dwayne. David rolled his eyes at the lull. He thought after sixty-something years he’d be used to Paul’s inability to smoothly tell a story, but that day was yet to come. “And then I hear somethin’, sounds like a car pulling up in front of the house. I dont really think anything of it because fuck if I care right?” He pauses yet again to put his own joint into his mouth, light it and take his first hit. “I keep goin’. I’m tryna get my rocks off after all. She’s tugging at my hair and shit. She's got this absolute vice grip on my-”
“PLEASE don’t say dick.”
“My waist, you fuckin’ pervert,” And if that wasn’t the pot calling the kettle black. “Absolutely screaming my name, the neighbors could probably hear.”
“Paul,” Marko said, turning in his seat on the couch so he could look at his best friend. “This sounds exactly like every other sexcapde you’ve ever told us about.” As Marko was chastising him, Paul had started to shrug out of his jacket, and that’s when the dark brown splotch on the shoulder of his white shirt came into view. “Is that fucking blood!?” Marko was painfully aware of the way his voice came out almost like a screech.
David’s head actually snapped up at that, tossing his book into his chair and moving to sit on the arm of the sofa in one fluid motion. “Jesus Christ, Paul.”
Dwayne looked over at the three blondes, his brown eyes gone wide and his brows knitted together in concern.
Paul barked out a laugh, “I'm getting there you dipshits! Also, I’m obviously fine, creature of the night just like you three. Remember?” His companions relaxed slightly, he did have a point after all. However, he now had their full attention. “Where was I? Oh yeah yeah, I’m nailing her and suddenly. The fuckin’ front door opens.”
David pinches the bridge of his nose.
Marko’s eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline. He was pretty sure he knew where this story was going.
“Oh man!” Dwayne was starting to giggle as he leaned back into his chair.
“It’s her god damn husband,” Pauls talking with his hands now, the way he always does when he starts getting to the good part of his stories. As he gestures, Marko plucks the joint from between his fingers and takes a drag. “Not boyfriend, not fiancé. Husband. He was supposed to be on a business trip or some shit I don’t know. Point is, he was home early and he was pissed.”
“He walked in on you screwing his wife,” David interjected as he slid his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. “Of course he’s pissed.” The other three men snickered at his remark.
“Dude starts screaming. At me, at her, oh my god it was madness. I’ve never pulled out so fast in my life.”
Dwayne chokes on the smoke he had been pulling into his lungs and doubles over, laughing between coughs. “Ya know what,” He says as he rests his cheek against his knee, “For some reason I believe you.”
“He got outta that pussy at warp speed.” Marko giggled quietly.
“Hey, hey hey!” Paul said as he turned to Marko, taking the last hit off the joint. “It’s my story, I’m the one with the jokes here.”
“Can we please get to why you're bleeding.” David said, gesturing at Paul’s shoulder.
“Yeah yeah, grouchy bitch.” He drops the roach into the closest ashtray, settling into the couch to finish the rest of his story. “I grab my shit and I’m tryna get outta there. Zero interest in being in the middle of the start of the divorce-”
“Like you’re not the reason for the divorce.”
“Pants on, shoes on, shirt halfway on, jackets in my hand. There was no way in hell I was gonna get between them, so I turned my happy ass around, go to the kitchen. Hopin’ and prayin’ this place has a back door-” Paul’s abruptly cut off by Marko barking out a laugh.
“I’m a back door man!” The smallest blonde belts out, poorly and off key.
“Imma. Back. Door. Man!” Dwayne joins in, tilting his head back with his eyes shut. Like he’s singing to the ceiling of the cave.
David can’t help the little smirk that forms on his face, hearing his friends poorly belting out The Doors’ version of what they had decided was Paul’s song. Paul is currently grinning like a maniac and isn't bothered by yet another interruption of his story. “Okay, okay. Get on with it.”
“Right yeah, we’re comin’ to the end here. Thank the lord in Heaven, there was in fact a back door. A screen backdoor that slammed behind me, you guys know how fucking loud those things are.” Paul sighs. “I take off, climb the fence, but “Mr. Can’t Satisfy His Wife” comes out behind me, onto the porch. Next thing I know, I hear a gunshot.”
“Sweet Christ.” David mumbles.
“He fucking shot you Paul?” Marko practically growls. Paul looks over at him nonchalantly and nods, smirking ever so slightly at Marko’s protective rage.
“Dude.” Dwayne says as he adjusts himself in his chair yet again, “You gotta stop sleeping with married women.”
“Not a chance in hell Dwayne-O.” Paul says, his face splitting into a full grin, like he's the cat that got the cream.
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phew it's good to know i'm boy the only one super behind lmao
alright answering questions and asking some more because i have a funny little group of questions that mean nothing but i like to ask
alright so i do bias soonyoung 🙄🙄 didn't think you'd guess so early. i also like seokmin and minghao 🥴🤤 aLSO, WHY HAS SEUNGCHEOL BEEN LOOKING SO CUTE RECENTLY I CANT HANDLE 😩😩
outside of kpop i may or may not have had an emo phase (read: fall out boy, panic!at the disco, my chemical romance). i may or may not still listen emo music. i also LOVE CONAN GRAYYY. idk if he's still indie but i love indie too! probably one of my favorite genres though is classical (instrumental if you wanna get technical 🙄 been yelled at bc cLaSsiCaL iS a TiMe PeRiOd)
the best of us had emo phases ☝️ mine is a little longer lasting three years in middle school. due to this, fall out boy is one of my favorite artists! i’m also a big tchaikovsky fan, and i like doja cat a lot too!
in response to your question about 1518 strasbourg, this is when and where the dancing plague of 1518 happened dnsbsbshja. it's where the phrase "dance till you die" originated lmao. i think it'd be funny to witness this/take part in it. aside from that, id probably fuck with california in 1849 because the gold rush🧎♀️, france in the 1880s, or america in the 1980/1990s! i’m a history nerd courtesy of my father, so i choose all my time periods based off some of my favorite historical events! 1880s for architecture mostly, gold rush because lawlessness and the "wild west", and the 80s for the cold war :)
the night is beautiful if you take the time to live it. for me, my favorite time across the board is lunch time-12:00 ish to 3:00 just because the sun is highest and i feel happiest! i like the night when i go out on bike rides because i feel alive/ like i’m not wasting my teen years
GIRL IM NORTHEAST US TOO DJNSBSBSVABWB #goals lmao
i have 1 sister and she's super annoying🙄 i also have 2 cats and a dog (i consider them my siblings)
the most recent show i binged and finished was criminal minds, and i tried supernatural but it's just so bad i cant get past season 11. i’m working on hannibal right now!
the last book i really enjoyed was the summer i turned pretty! i’m a sucker for romance books 😩
questions i've got:
- do you have any siblings or pets?
- do you play any instruments?
- what's your favorite font?
- how many pillows and stuffed animals do you sleep with? (i have too many to count)
- would you rather live in an urban, suburban, or rural setting?
I FRIKIN KNEW U BIASED SOONYOUNG UR VIBES R SO HORANGHE I COULD JUST TELL and i gotta say ur the second person who’s had both minghao and soonyoung on ur bias list and i just find that so funny cuz they’re polar opposites to me (also u have impeccable taste with minghao that boy is my ult and has my whole heart) AND OMG RIGHT??? seungcheol needs to *CHILL*😤
omg yes conan gray😫 this is gonna sound whiny but heather was one of my favorite songs of his before it became a tiktok trend💅
and yes the best of us *did* have emo phases, mine lasted from late 8th grade into the first half of freshman year, so it was kinda short lived but it still happened lol
also, seeing tchaikovsky and doja cat next to each other in a sentence is so funny (but in a weird way i get it lol) i’m not the *biggest* classical/instrumental fan, but i have def used it as study music when songs with lyrics r just too distracting. back to doja tho!! have u listened to her new album?? do u have a fav song off of it? (i haven’t listened to all of it but i do have a couple that i rlly like)
omg how did i not recognize that u were talking abt the dancing plague!!!!!🤦♀️🤦♀️ idk if u watch buzzfeed unsolved or watcher but they have a series called puppet history and the episode on the dancing plague is one of my favorites! also omg yes another history nerd who knows abt history b/c of her dad!!!! i’m prob most knowledgeable abt wwii, the civil rights movement in the us, and the spanish civil war cuz those r my dads main interests and i was sat down in front of documentaries abt those topics at the age of like, 3 lol. and wanting to experience the wild west is such a perfect and iconic era to want to live in, and wanting to experience the cold war is so funny (b/c i’m sure the ppl who were living it without knowing the ending like us felt the exact opposite lol)
and yes the night is so beautiful when u just give it ur attention. like, on my birthday it was raining and i didn’t have school the next day (and my birthdays i’m may so it was pretty warm) so i just went outside at like, midnight ish and listened to the rain and crocheted and it was truly so nice 😫 also omg last year when covid had us all at home i went for a bike ride almost every day after school to just get out of my room and it was so nice!! it was my bike from when i was like, 12 but i’m 4’11 so i was still able to ride it without a problem lsnsksns
and yes pets r absolutely siblings, my cat prob acts more like s typical sibling than my two younger siblings do lsnsksns (srsly tho my cat is an asshole she fucked up my leg the other day cuz i gave her food late smh)
omg hun season 11?? how many seasons of that goddamn show r there??? i couldn’t get past episode 1😭 (i rlly only started watching it b/c of dean from gilmore girls sksnksns) the show i’m currently bingeing rn tho is downton abbey, as i’m sure u can tell from how much downton shit u had to scroll past to find my answer to ur last ask alskkskjsjs (i’m so so sorry 😭)
ooo that sounds like a rlly good book title, what was it abt? i just finished a secret history (which FUCKED ME UP MY GOD THERES A LOT OF MURDER) and i’m currently working on the sequel to my name is asher lev by chaim potok (who is one of my fav jewish/classic literature authors and also just a rlly good author in general)
for ur questions:
-yes i do have siblings! two younger (one four and a half years younger and one a little over nine years younger than me so i’m the oldest by quite a bit lol) and i do have a pet! my cat sweetie who is an asshole who i love very much
-i took piano for like a year in second grade but then third grade happened and i was rlly bad at math so my parents switched from paying for piano lessons to paying for math tutoring lessons and i now remember literally nothing from piano lessons sksnksns
-i,,, dont think i have a favorite font? i do like to write in cursive and have a collection of calligraphy pens that i bust out on special occasions so there’s that i guess lol
-ok i have two normal pillows, one chair/armrest/pillow thing (idk if that makes sense but that’s the only way i know how to describe it sksnksns), a body pillow, and a single stuffed bear that live on my bed
-ooo so this is difficult for me cuz i technically live in a suburb but we’re *right next* to a major city in my state (like i’m a 20ish min car ride from my states baseball stadium and a 20 min walk to the college of the major city) so this has kinda made me rlly like both? like, i like the quiet of the suburbs but i cant handle not being able to walk to the closest boba shop or movie theatre or bookshop but i also don’t rlly love the noise and lights that there are in the city at night. so idk sksnksns
what do u like more tho? the city or the suburbs? also since u asked the question i’m assuming u have a fav form and i’m now rlly interested in finding out what it is lol
goodnight!❤️ (or good morning if ur seeing this in the morning since i’m answering this at midnight lol)
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After reading your "ultra-long postivity post", now I have kind of a weird feeling because i relate a lot to pretty much everything you said, but i ended up approaching the "not everyone can x" from the opposite side, being the "gifted kid" teachers used to hold everyone to unrealistic standards (that i knew most couldnt achieve in the given timeframes), and now i get frustrated when i dont develop skills immediately, because i have done it before and feel like i should be able to and aaaaaaaaaa
Funny story: when I was a kid my parents had both my sister and I tested for learning and developmental disabilities. This testing included IQ testing.
It identified that we were both “gifted” kids* and that I’m dyslexic.
It totally missed my ADHD, though!
The problem with that is that my parents. Hm.
Okay my parents both grew up in very poor families. VERY poor. And they both wanted to go to college and knew the only way that they could was through scholarships. So they became debaters. They met at a tournament in high school.
Debaters are weird. You need an efficient working memory and strong recall and the ability to think quickly on your feet. Being witty and kind of an asshole are also good traits for debaters. Basically you’ve either gotta be really fuck-off smart to be a competitive debater or you’ve gotta at least *seem* really fuck-off smart.
And my parents were champion debaters at a national level. The Whittier College debate trophy has my mom’s name written directly under Richard goddamn Nixon. My dad was on the USC debate team and competed against Harvard and won. Not only that but he ended up coaching debate for USC and Cal Tech.
So as kids who grew up in extremely poor families and were able to go to college and get middle-class jobs and buy a house because of intellectual ability my parents placed A LOT of importance on intellectual ability.
So that IQ score became a large part of my life.
First we attacked the dyslexia. The approach was basically teaching me a bunch of sight words because sounding out phonics doesn’t work when the letters get screwed up. And because I was *gifted* we did a lot of really BIG sight words.
It took about six months to get me up to speed from “memorizing the pages of a story to match the pictures because I couldn’t read along in class” to “the first book I read on my own was The Hobbit.” I guess that counted as “cured” because that was the last time I got any kind of educational assistance.
At that time I was at a gifted school, a really tiny private school that was also an after-school daycare where we did full-day classes and then did gymnastics and swim from 3-6pm. I also was there over the summer because my parents worked.
So going from “tiny private school where the teacher has you stand up in class to read your failing grade in front of everyone so that she could shame you into performing better” to “fine public school in a suburb wealthy enough to have arts programs” was a major, major change. They did an aptitude test because I was transferring in from a different district and there was much discussion about whether or not to move me directly from the second to the sixth grade.
The district refused, thank fuck.
The public elementary school didn’t *have* a gifted program so it took very little time for me to become the Certified Weird Kid. My third grade teacher had me read aloud to our class for twenty minutes a day. I taught the class the multiplication table.
When it got to be time to go to the junior high school my mom went to a meeting for the school’s gifted kids program. APPARENTLY one of the kid’s dad’s basically said “I don’t understand why you’re wasting school funds on field trips for the stupid kids, the school should spend more of its resources on kids who have a chance of actually meaning something to the world” and my mom decided that while being gifted was important it was less important than making sure I wasn’t exposed to assholes of that caliber on a regular basis.
(thanks mom, I actually do really appreciate that reprieve)
Several teachers pushed me into advanced classes - my math teacher insisted that I take the advanced algebra classes in the seventh and eighth grade.
The GATE kids *WERE* assholes and were extra bonus special assholes to me because math was the only advanced class that I was in. (At my junior high school you had to pick your elective based on what level of classes you were in - to take the GATE classes you HAD to take a music elective; if you took art, drama, shop, or home ec you couldn’t take the smart kid classes. The algebra class was a new, separate addition to the program so *some* of the kids in the “electives for dropouts” program could take algebra. Schools are really fucked up, guys, in case you didn’t know schools are really fucked up and that was BEFORE No Child Left Behind).
I got a C in that algebra class and sat in my room for literally an hour screaming at myself for being such a selfish, distracted idiot that I let myself read my books instead of studying harder for the class. (clearly very healthy, normal twelve-year-old behavior)
When it was time to go to high school my teachers made a united plea to the district to transfer me into honors/IB/AP classes.
The kids in the honors/IB/AP classes continued to be kind of awful to me. I got extremely depressed and basically started doing the lazy-but-brilliant thing of completely ignoring homework or in-class work but performing spectacularly well on tests or essays in the classes that I wasn’t catastrophically failing
I was the only person at the school who got a perfect score on the vocab part of my SAT. I was the only honors kid who hadn’t been in SAT prep classes. There was only one other kid who graduated with the same number of units as I had, we’d outstripped the valedictorian and salutatorian but three classes each. I only applied to one college - I got accepted for painting but my interviewer urged me to move to the writing program and I got accepted for that too.
My financial aid didn’t come through and my dad wasn’t willing to cosign for loans on “an art program at a trade school.”
I got accepted to Pratt Institute on their Writing for Publication track which included an internship with the New York Times for third-year students in the program.
At that point I had a Columbia Scholastic Press award for my work on my high school yearbook.
Let me tell you, the community college that I went to and spent five years variously failing and succeeding at had a fucking *killer* newspaper and magazine when I was there. The local community newspaper that hired me when I was 21 was also much better designed and edited than it had any right to be for the three years I worked there (getting paid a whole eight dollars an hour and sometimes working 20 hours straight to get it in to the printer on time).
When I transferred to the state school I got perfect grades and worked full time and won every contest offered by the school’s English Honors society (which I couldn’t join because I was a transfer student and hadn’t done honors classes my freshman and sophomore years). I started a literary magazine with some friends when I graduated; we published four full issues online before it fell apart.
You know what’s also funny?
Even the food-service job I had to pay my way though the community college I felt terrible about attending was a skills test. I was a barista, so of course for a while I was a competitive barista.
I disappointed my parents a lot. I heard a lot of “we know you’re better than this.” I got told I was too smart to be screwing up this bad. I mentioned it a couple weeks ago but my results from that IQ test got compared to my sister’s and that was the justification for holding me to a higher standard. “You’re measurably brilliant, why aren’t you acting like it?”
Here lies the corpse of a gifted kid. Look on my works ye might and despair.
I am the perfect picture of a twice exceptional gifted kid and the reason I wrote all of this out is to tell you one thing:
“Gifted Kid” is a label that someone applied to you, it has nothing to do with who and what you ARE.
It’s very, very unfair that the adults in your life used you that way. I have an exceptionally terrible memory of being singled out as the only one who passed the first test in my IB World History class; “Why is Alli the only one of all of you who is writing at grade level? You’re supposed to be the smartest kids in the school, why did you all fail?”
That’s awful for the kids around you, that’s awful for you. It doesn’t do anybody any favors if people around you are being informed that you’re setting the curve they’ll be judged against. And it really, really doesn’t do YOU any favors because it doesn’t take long *at all* for your brain to learn that that’s all you’re good for. If you aren’t the best at a thing then what’s the point, you HAVE to be best because they already SAID you were best and if you aren’t then all these other people hate you for setting a standard that even you can’t keep up with.
You end up competing with past versions of yourself and focusing on those things that make the grownups in your life praise you because the grownups in your life has praised you in such a way that it’s turned all the other kids against you.
You know who bullied the fuck out of me? The kids I taught the times tables to, the kids I read to for half an hour a day.
Those kids were MEAN to me but the teacher who told me to read Boxcar Kids to the class after lunch everyday was NICE and she told me not to worry, they were just jealous and I should be proud of my gifts.
“Anon did this in three minutes. What’s taking the rest of you so long?” - what a terrible weight to put on a child. You’re right. Not everyone can do everything.
Fucking hell.
Adults what the everloving shit is wrong with us? Please don’t treat kids like that.
Okay.
Okay.
But here’s the other thing:
If there’s any time in your life that it’s easy to acquire skills with no apparent effort it’s when you’re a child surrounded by a support system that is engaged in making sure that you can acquire those skills.
It took three adults, two dictionaries, and several hours a day to teach me enough sight-words to throw me into “look at baby genius*” territory but from my perspective as a little kid I was just reading cool stories.
I spent four hours a day in the yearbook room and ditched and failed other classes so that I could work on the yearbook. I collected hundreds of magazines to get an eye for layout. But from my perspective as a teenager it was a fun activity that I did with the closest thing I had to friends.
I’m sure that there are some skills that you had a natural aptitude for, some things that came naturally. But I’m also sure that you didn’t learn those skills with no effort, it’s just that now as an adult with a life and other shit going on it takes more effort to learn to do things.
In all likelihood you weren’t a savant who did everything perfectly the first time you tried. It just seems that way because even really smart kids don’t know when they’re bad at things and are mostly being compared against other kids (with the few rare exceptions of music prodigies or math prodigies or those kids who end up in science grad programs at 12 and boy howdy do I think there’s a whole other can of worms when it comes to the way child prodigies* interact with the world).
You wanna know what probably saved my life in the last few years?
That “anti-capitalist love notes” tumblr post.
You are worth more than your productivity.
You are worth more than your productivity.
You are worth more than your productivity.
I was actually kind of offended the first time I saw that post on my dash. “No I’m not,” I thought. “You’re only worth what you can do, everyone knows that. People care about what you do for them.”
And why the hell would I think anything else? That’s what I’d learned for pretty much my whole life.
It took me a really long time to understand that I was wrong. I matter outside of what I can do for people or how well I perform. I matter more than being able to perfectly recite poetry from memory or do calculations on command or sit down at a piano and play a piece I’ve never played by sight-reading it.
And you matter outside of that too. You’re more than your performance, you’re better than being gifted. There are people who love you for the way you make them laugh and how you listen to their stories and for the simple joy of your presence.
It’s nice to be clever, it’s handy in a lot of situations even if it does come with a lot of baggage for some people.
But god damn, it’s important to be kind.
* Personally I have issues with the way that society constructs the concepts of giftedness, genius, and prodigies. There are a lot of “gifted” kids who were the kids who scored in the top 5% of their class in school but there are also gifted kids who were doing high-level math or reading novels as toddlers; there are prodigies who showed an aptitude for music young and who were then schooled in that instrument to the exclusion of all other activities (and I bet there are a fair number of kids who might be considered prodigies if they were trained to play flute for nine hours a day and didn’t have friends but thankfully we don’t *do* that to very many people - side note, ask me my opinion about olympic athletes some time). Words like “genius” and “gifted” are very nearly meaningless and almost *never* accurately reflect skills proficiency or long-term success or are reflected in income or respect. People think that geniuses are hypercompetent robots with their shit together but literally every adult I know with a genius-level IQ is some variety or other of total fucking tire fire.
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:wanna write a pome bout fire an call it sicc burrn.-
Be happy as you tie your shoes
it is another day
the will is written and
I need no longer pray
to organize
what wishes left
and throw out the lies
about that death of mine that would have been
had I not decided a mulligan
on the whole damn escapade
and doctors blowing up my phonepiece
on my way to peace at the top of an office building
called oddly enough the oracle office building
i scoped the spcs
it seemed high enough this time
to break thorough enough
larger numbers of bones
it was damn hot
i removed identifiable clothing
in case somebody sicced an ambulance
on me
i was out in the sticks
some upscale suburb in Lexington
with all these trees fucking my signal
i made a wrong turn it
was so damn hot
i actually got farther from where
i was going to go to die
at the top tip point
of an office building called the fucking oracle
of all things
i don't even know what kind of symbolism that shit is
i just know
it was damn hot
and I was buying time
by saying I was on my way
till it became obvious I wasnt
then prayed to lord jesus
that if I killed myself
let no one else do it because I did please
do yr genie powers thing
grant my wish
if even I shake from the impact
of meeting the fiery dearth of hell
as simultaneously
i met the boiling paved ground
of a parking lot
that has nothing to do with me
hoping a thorougher break
and no one too sad
or not really sad too long
i wrote my will at a gas station
im not a lawyer but tried
to shaipshape the legality ok enough
but I thought of my daughter
and all reason got ghosted right quick
and logical comportment that
made me calmly walk to this
random office building
GPS FUCKING MY SHIT UP
folks wondering where I am
i saying I am on my way
but like it's been so long and no Dan knocking
just wanted to buy time
but my daughter unraveled my heart
out of this daft empirical natty tightness
and my tired shaggy patrician aspect
which I resent for looking like
ive spent long st studies
and am back for the summer
to get some sun
i resent my eloquence
that seems and seems all day
when I know not even the semester seems
unseemlywack fuck drenching a good shirt
walking his way to die whwerever
because catching an uber to my suicide
well that would be rather tasteless.
when I got in here
i found a fortune hiding in this cubbie shits
it said this
"people who give happiness deserve happiness."
i remember in my intercessions to christ
I asked for a visible sign I would be certain of
and thought of my daughter
and thought tha best mystic indication
was whatever sign I myself conjured
as all in the end must be assessed
by the only great vacuity that does not inspire suspicion
because it is the one we own
love is irrational
it is fortified from the best reasons to die
as something simply for its own sake
and like the deviant flexing purples
of parnassian for the sake of art
i guess I can still satisfy my gluttonous
desire for logic and reason and proving
by maintaining the practice of art as causa sui
equally valid for denying any higher symbol
or point to perform
as on that reasonless beautiful spectrum
as loving for the sake of love
and living likewise
if even i must endure
another shameful cry of wolf
i end up being sensible
by tossing aside my book of reasons
for why I am mostly a problem
and the selfishness of continuing
to live and be a problem
and someone this reason discarding reason
is more reasonable.
life is funny.
my will is writ
i my lawyer
by proxy
christ telling my why to live
with some stupid fortune about happiness.
but His insight
has always come after the fact
else he would meddle too much
in my freedom.
but I knew he met what he said.
my will is writ.
i write it everyday.
i have thought of it living
i have thought of it the insensible force
and the meaning entire
that has no argument
and needs no proof
and exists the more than those
things that do
...A FEW WEEKS LATER.
WE BE OUT HERE, BUT IN HERE !!
since I cannot leave this unit
i will go outside an inside
place I will pretend my
imagination is real
which I guess is what
that is anyway but
/||knockknockknockknockknock!,!!!||
ITS NOT FAIR
IM AFRAID TO LAY DOWN
SO MUCH STRESS
TOO GOD DAMNED LONG
THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON
I NEED A WEIGHTED BLANKET
SHIT I NEED A QUIET ROOM
MEDITATION SOMETHING
MINDFULNESS PLEASE
ANYTHING to distract
this feeling I need.. I need to talk
to my social worker..
for the love of goddddssdd
i will hear these screams as the
conversation of nice birds
it doesn't have to be special genus
sparrows sound beautiful the most often
because their crew of them aflitter about
one tree produce a nice litany of voices
small and excited and excitable
Lacking patience like anything small
a nice cheeping of a bushel of birds
in the bush, ripe as any sound
to collect the same as shiny red apples
nice very nice I will hear that
instead of the screams
of this fat patient who
selfish in her grief
makes all the other
patients anxious and
cuts in line-
-at the med window becuase
she must be attended to
its serious can I
talk to somebody please
her tears already squint her eyes
nearly out of existence suffocated
by big puffy fucking cheeks raw
with grief that's been goin on so
ling maybe it's both simulated
and of a sincerity developed
over all this time doing it
every day all day
screaming about her situation
she says she's smarter than everybody
and knows what's going on here
this really stout lady
who is on-
-this damned filibuster
long time now it's been
saying tearfully I am scared-
-of ECT & I DONT BELONG HERE
THE DEPAKOTE TOOK AWAY
MY FEELINGS
my epidermis will turn over
and I willl look as tho skinned
it is alright
and even tho it is
this is an act of desperation
considering it's absurdity
and the fact I spend my days
better than others
who pace to pass the time
the halls lit in this unwell shit ass light
my single act of rebellion
was in refusing to lower the volume
playing fairest of the seasons as a tribute
or something for this girl who liked Buddha
who was leaving, and I said in the least
patronizing way I could,
CHIN UP, KID.
i feel like she valued that little pearl
of wisdom that rosebud of shit like
that comes out finally when ya
constipated from all the decaf coffee
cuz ya need a high somehow riht?
actually silly now to think of that
that song by nico that German lady
who sang for VU // eh I unnoh its pretty
i guess..
it was
cause someone I knew
was getting discharged
against the life of deeply felt boredom.
thing is I feel for her
i really do
but this reaction
doesnt help yr case ma'am
. . . . . .
[...psych units stop helping and start being a wear on the soul at some point, like resorting to leather sandals too much for any outside excursions. Alas, the wind, I can tell she misses how she feels on my face. I miss her openness, divine golden ointment of reality. Blowing hymns. For there I found myself more truly and more street]
COMING AT U VIA RADIO BROADCAST FROM AB2 SOUTH IN THE McLEAN-ASS MORN
ITS RAGEFUL AMES, THE HOST W/ YR DOSE OF LITHIUM
THE ’No Biggie’ STATION CUZ WE ALL GOTTA CALM OURSELVES
FOR AL THE DEMENTS OUT THURR
THE FIRST MORNING INSTALLMENT OF YACK YACK YACKING
AND A FEW MUSIC THINGS TO JUST MAKE THE VOICES STOP
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1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord
Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station
1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)
2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)
3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)
4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)
5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)
6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)
7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)
8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)
9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)
10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)
11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)
12) what size bed do you have? Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)
13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)
14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)
15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)
16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)
17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)
18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)
19) shoe size? M Y S I Z E (size 10)
20) how tall are you? hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)
21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)
22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)
23) describe your dream date Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)
24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)
25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)
26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)
27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)
28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)
29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)
30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)
31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar] (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)
32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)
33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)
34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)
35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)
36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)
37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)
38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)
39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)
40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)
41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)
42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)
43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)
44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)
45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)
46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)
47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house)
48) who is your role model? Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)
49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D)
50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)
51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)
52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)
53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)
54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)
55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)
56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)
57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)
58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)
59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)
60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)
61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)
62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)
63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)
64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)
65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)
66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)
67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)
68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)
69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)
70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)
71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)
72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)
73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)
74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)
75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)
76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)
77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :( *cries*)
78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)
79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)
80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)
81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)
82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)
83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)
84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)
85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)
86) what is your phone background? RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)
87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)
88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)
89) do you like your neighbors? …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)
90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)
91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e never have don’t plan on it)
92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)
93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)
94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a g r e a t op)
95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)
96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)
97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)
98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)
99) what is your zodiac sign I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE” “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL” (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)
100) who was the last person you cried in front of? Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)
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Fears. Bucky Barnes x reader
Prompt: He did something wrong in the past, period. Although she wasn't the victim, it was pretty bad. How can she be sure he's changed?
Warnings: fluff, bucky's ptsd, humor, bucky not knowing how to hold an iPod.
Word Count: 1512
A/N: gosh this was so much fun to write, though from my view it seems kinda boring. let me know what you think.
The last of the few boxes were sitting patiently outside in the hall next to your new apartment door. You and Bucky have been forever searching for a new apartment to call home, you were keen to start fresh somewhere in the suburbs, but Bucky had insisted you both stay in Brooklyn, just in case the avengers called for him and for your job. He wore you down and eventually persuaded you this was the best option. So you found a gorgeous spacious one bedroom apartment, on the sixth floor in a good neighborhood. Your safety was Bucky's top priority.
You've been Bucky's girlfriend for the past two years. The most precious two years of your life. At first, it wasn't easy. You weren't naive and of course knew of his winter soldier days. Steve was sure his time in Wakanda had cure his hydra brain, and he no longer responded to the activation words.
But Bucky still had nightmares, he dreamt of the victims he was sent to kill. He remembered all of his victims, and they stayed individually inside his head. That was something wakanda couldn't fix. You had suggested therapy, but Bucky argued it wasn't a good idea to open up to a stranger, they simply wouldn't understand and think of him as the monster he is known for.
You love Bucky regardless of his horrific past. The first couple of months were tough, the first time you told him "I love you Bucky" he didn't believe you. He would ask you, "how can you love a fucking murderous monster like me?" His words broke your heart, but you stayed persistent. It took a long time to convince him you meant them.
The first time he told you he loved you was when you were curled up in his arms naked, after he made love to you. Your heart swelled at his precious words and you were sure you fell in love with him more then.
Even though everyone had reassured you it was safe with Bucky now, he was a changed man and you helped. You still had a small fear hidden away in your mind.
His realistic nightmares were the problems, you lost count on how many times he accidentally hit you in his sleepbecause you tried to wake him up. He would apologize profoundly, and remind you this is why you shouldn't be with him, but you of course argued this is why you should be with him.
For now you set your fears aside, and concentrated on the job ahead. You were busy unpacking the boxes stacked in the living room, while Steve and Bucky were busy bringing the last of the boxes in from the hall. "Hey guys" you smiled sweetly when they entered the apartment. You couldn't help but admire Bucky's look, a pair of black skinny jeans, combat boots and a red Henley shirt with his sleeves rolled up. Sweat dripping profusely off his forehead, and his hair tied back in a loose bun, a feature you found to be really sexy. Steve stood next to him, panting and catching his breath with his hands placed firmly on his hips, catching his breath. You chuckled, "need medical attention, Steve?" You asked sarcastically, earning a light chuckle from your boyfriend. His chuckles you absolutely adored. Steve waved a hand in front of him, "just a working elevator would be great" he panted with a small wheeze. You chuckled at his reply, it was true there were so many stairs to climb since the elevator was out of order. The landlord had assured you he would get it fixed before you moved in. Thank god for two super soldiers.
"I'm gonna go down to the van and see if we've missed anything and take a quick smoke, I'll be right back" Bucky said, planting a quick pack onto your lips before stopping in front of Steve, "hope you're not wanting to give me a kiss Buck.." Steve chuckled, you watched the two men in awe. "Funny. You're in my way punk" Steve rolled his eyes and shifted out of the way.
When Bucky left, you sighed. Resting your palms on your hips as you looked around the room, to take the new scenery in. "Are you okay y/n?" Steve asked concerned, walking towards you. You nodded your head with a small shrug, "I'm of course a little wary.." you started to talk, "it's the first time we will be alone, like actually alone. You won't be down the hall" you bit your lip. Steve knew the problems Bucky was facing, his nightmares and PTSD, even Bucky's accidental punches to your face.
"Bucky loves you y/n you know he would never do anything to deliberately hurt you" Steve squeezed your shoulder slightly. "I know Steve, but I dont know what to do if he has an episode at night" you said truthfully. This was the one thing on your mind since Bucky suggested the whole moving in together and starting a new chapter, being completely alone with him. "Remember what I told you, leave the bed and slowly approach him. Dont scream at him to wake up, dont touch him. Stay distant and call his name, I'm not far away if you need me or if he doesnt break his trance" he smiled reassuringly.
Unbeknownst to you know Bucky was standing just outside the slightly open door, hearing your worries and concerns. He had heard that fluffy blankets and music helps with nightmares. It was something he wanted to try if you would help him set up the new iPod he bought. But the guilt was rising to his chest, he never intentionally meant to hit you. He couldn't control his nightmares, Bucky would hate to admit hearing your fears out loud worried him a great deal, worried you would wake up and walk out of his life. He knew he didn't deserve you, he told you many times over the past two years, told you to find someone better.
He loved you, more than anything else in the world. And he was determined to change for the better.
So he stood up straight and walked in the door, trying to act like he had just walked up all those horrible stairs. "Hey Buck" Steve smiled. Bucky returned the smile, and darted his gaze to you. "I gotta get going. Give me a call if either of you need anything." Steve said, grabbing his leather jacket off the back of the couch.
Now it was just you and Bucky. Nerves settling in your chest, he walked closer to you, his strong scent of aftershave with a hint of tobacco hit your nose. "Hey doll, you doing okay?" Bucky asked, snaking his big arms around your abdomen, pressing wet sloppy kisses down your neck. You chuckled at the sensation, his beard tickling your skin. "I'm perfect darling" you answered in a pant as he continued to attack your neck with his tongue and lips. "Are you scared to be alone with me doll?" He asked after a few minutes of silence, "n-no" you turned your head to look at him slightly, sadness and worry filled his beautiful blue eyes. He tucked a strand a hair behind your ear. "Why do you ask baby?" You asked concerned, wondering if there was any possibility he overheard your conversation with Steve earlier. "You heard the conversation" you said more of a statement than a question. Bucky nodded to your questions. "I didn't mean to, I was just -"
"I'm not scared of you Bucky. Just your nightmares" you cut him off. Bucky nodded in understanding before answering he walked over to his backpack and pulled something out.
"Wanda told me how music helps keep them at bay.." he said shyly, holding up the iPod with a clueless expression, you couldn't help but chuckle. "You want me to help you?" You offered, noticing he was even holding it upside down trying to turn it on. "Would you mind Doll?" He passed the iPod to you and you smiled. "No of course not! C'mere let me set this up for you and show you how to use it" you grabbed his hand, pulling him to the couch and sitting him down as you grabbed your macbook from a nearby bag.
Bucky had a traumatic past, and you understood his treatment and recovery would be slow. But you could see he was willing to try anything and everything anyone suggested, and that was enough for you to swallow down your fears and be there for him, to help, love and support him.
Life in the new apartment was only the beginning.
#sebastian stan#bucky#buckybarnes#buckyxreader#sebstan#mcu#bucky barns imagine#imagines#oneshot#fanfiction#writing#drabble#prompt
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Car insurance?
"Car insurance?
i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
RELATED QUESTIONS:
Can you get car Insurance with No Bank Account?
My question is would it be a problem to obtain car insurance without having a bank account, my credit is in the toilet because someone ran up my debit card and the over draft fees forced the account closed, and now the bank is asking for $600.00, and I can't afford to pay that off with the kind of salary I have, so can anyone let me know if their would be any difficulty in just paying in cash or perhaps money orders or even a check in someone elses name?? thanks""
Around how much would insurance be if im 18 driving a ford 2000 GT Mustang and no driving record?
Around how much would insurance be if im 18 driving a ford 2000 GT Mustang and no driving record?
Is there an affordable private insurance provider that will cover prescription medicine so I can go to school?
I have Crohn's disease and I'm attending college in Idaho. I'm currently covered by my parents' insurance, but I'm I will no longer be covered in a year. My college has a reasonably priced insurance plan but it doesn't cover prescription medications. Remicade is considered a prescription drug, which means that the plan won't cover my remicade treatments which cost about $4,000 every eight weeks. I realize I could get a job that has benefits, but I really would like to get a college degree. Is there any way I can go to college and still have the health coverage I need to pay for my prescription medicines?""
Insurance on my boyfriend's car?
I recently got my license and haven't gotten a car yet. Since my boyfriend has two vehicles I am planning on using his car for work. He has liability on the car but I don't have any insurance and his insurance agent isn't sure if we can be on the same policy if we're not living together. Will I have to get my own insurance or is there anyway I can be covered by his policy? Please help! Any advice on the cheapest way to do this is appreciated. Thank you!
Does your home insurance go up when you have a boat?
I want to buy a 21 foot boat and keep it in my back yard when not in use. What costs am I looking at? The boat and trailer need new registration but is that just a one time payment and I'm good to go? thanks
Can i list my vehicle at another adress for insurance?
hi, i own a 2006 acura RSX-s and i live in the philadelphia suburbs. my insurance is quite PRICEY! any how, my father owns property in northern PA which is primarily farm land, and insurance would be alot cheaper if listed there. tho i dont live there, can i list my insurance there? is there anything illegal or could it hurt me? i see alot of people with New Jersey tags who live in PA to get cheaper Insurance. what do you suggest, and what would i have to do, change adress on D/L etc?""
When does wisconsin drivers need to buy insurance?
My roommate and I heard that in wisconsin that we need insurance at least liability insurance. We haven't heard anything on the news about it!
Best child Plan or best insurance plan or Mutual funds ?
hi iam 30 year male from india working in merchant navy..i want to invest for future of my child through monthly investment of Rs.5000..please suggest me right way to achive my goal of getting good amount when my child reaches age of 18...i already have LIC jeevan anand..with cover of 10 lakh..and i am also depositing 70.000 p.a in P.P.F...so where u should think i invest to get maximum returns..??
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?
I am a male and I will drive a 91 crx si . none of my parents have caused an accident.
Anyone know any Vision Insurance Companies?
Trying to find vision insurance.
No buisness car insurance?
been caught without buisness insurance on car while delivering.only have domestic, social pleasure e.t.c.i have to go to police station with drivers license and insurance certificate.i currently have no points on my license. what is likely to happen?court, then points and fine?what type of fine?thanks""
Can I purchase life insurance?
Can I or may I purchase a life insurance policy for my step father in law. I've been asking around and some family member say no we can't and some other say yes we can. I'm so lost
Mazda rx8 or 350z insurance ?
Id assume the 8 might have cheaper insurance to certain companies due to it having four doors lol But my question is I'm 19 and been looking at progressive and I have to pay $1200 every 6 months for one of these cars! I have a clean record and took the safety course too. Now if I was under my parent's insurance would that be possibly cheaper? Were doing that with the lexus I'm driving right now (theirs) but I need to build credit and whatnot... no need to worry bout college cause its paid off
My car was wrecked and the insurance company paid to have it fixed. Now they have found something they missed?
After paying out around 12,000 to fix my car (body damage only, but new car so everything came from factory) we found out there is something else that needs to be fixed and because the car is so new and they don't make parts for it, whole transmission needs to be replaced, even though nothing it actually wrong with it. Now insurance wants to total my car. I have gap coverage and want to know my options if i would like to keep my car and have transmission fixed myself. At first insurance told me they would pay off car, I keep it and get settlement money, then they told me no settlement money, but I would get to keep car with salvage title and it would be paid off, now they are saying they r trying to make sure I can keep it at minimal cost to me . The lien holder says if the insurance pays it off, they (lien holder) will not allow me to keep the car. If the insurance pays for it, isn't it their option to allow me to keep the car or not? What are my options?""
My medicaid that i used for my pregnancy had expired...? here in texas?
back in august of 2011 & i no longer have insurance. what do i do now? i called my health plan & they said i gotta apply again but i don't know where i can get the application. i really need insurance cause i got upcoming appointments for me & if i don't have insurance, i'm not gonna be able to afford the expenses. anyone know where i can get the application for medicaid here in texas?""
Cars And Insurance?
OK im turning 18 in a month and im getting a car but what is a good cheap car and a good cheap insurance
How is the mandate to buy car insurance different than the mandate to buy health insurance?
This seems to be a popular talking point among liberals. It saddens me that liberals are so partisan that they are blinded to the obviousness of the differences. So for the record, what are the two differences between the requirement to have car insurance and the requirement to have health insurance? 10 points goes to the most simplistic and straight to the point answer.""
I am planning to get a health insurance?
I need to get a health insurance, anyone can give me suggestions?, any company on the internet that gives me affordable health insurance?
What are the factors affect auto insurance Costs?
Auto insurance discount can greatly reduce your auto insurance costs.
Best health care insurance for 25 year old?
I just got off parent's insurance because it's only until I'm 25. I can't use my job's since I work part time, because I'm trying to finish college. I hardly get sick and see the doctor, but I know things happen. (Like whenever I got appendicitis not that long ago) What's the best affordable one's out there for me?""
Can someone explain the difference between Health Insurance and any other Insurance?
I don't understand why people act like health insurance is so radically differently than other insurance. Is it? Insurance is a form of risk management to hedge against loss. Auto, Life, Homeowners, Unemployment and Health are among the types of insurance you can buy. I'm generally not required to buy any of those insurances. If I have the title to my home, I'm not required to have homeowners insurance. If I don't drive a car, I'm not required to carry auto insurance. Why should I be forced to buy health insurance? If I want to take that or any gamble by not buying insurance, isn't that my choice? I will admit that by not purchasing health insurance, I could be putting a burden on others if I was admitted to the ER and couldn't pay, that burden of payment would fall on others. HOWEVER, that burden would be there whether I was forced to carry insurance or not. If I don't make enough money to buy this mandatory insurance, then the gov't will give me tax credits to purchase insurance. Who's paying for those tax credits? All of the tax payers. So either we pay the providers/insurance companies via higher premiums to cover loss, or we pay the gov't via taxes. Forcing (perhaps unconstitutionally) citizens to purchase health insurance won't solve anything, it will just move where the cost is incurred. But please, explain why people are treating health insurance so differently.""
""On average, how much do employers pay for health insurance in the USA?""
So I need a statisitic, on average, how much employers provide healthcare insurance to employees? I've got that from Jan 1st 2014 the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will impose a $2000 fine on employers with over 50 employees who do not offer health insurance. But statistics for how much employers actually provide health insurance are all over the place... Typically, employers pay about 85% of the insurance premium for their employees In 2008, over 95% of employers with at least 50 employees offered health insurance. the percentage of large firms offering these benefits fell from 66% in 1988 to 34% in 2002 These quotes are from wikipedia, but I've been looking at other sites too. I just don't know what to believe, or how to understand what they actually mean. What percentage of employers actually provide adequate health insurance to it's full time employees?""
Is it illegal in California to drive an insured car even though you're not insured?
I heard that in the state of California, as long as the car itself is insured, it doesnt matter if the driver himself/herself is insured or not, and that the driver needs to be insured only if he/she is driving a car that isn't insured. Let's say a teen driver wants to drove his/her parents' car, but the teen isn't listed, but not excluded, from the insurance plan. As long as the car is covered, its okay for the teen to drive it. The only exception is if the parents put on the insurance plan that the teen is excluded from the plan ('____ is excluded from the plan'). Is any of this true? Thanks in advance.""
Cheep car insurance companies in London?
I am a new driver, Can someone advice me how can I get cheep car insurance and with who? Thanks.""
""Out of a mini one, mini cooper, fiat 500 and Rav-4 ?
Ok so this is my first car and these are all the cars I like and can get. So could someone plz tell me which is cheaper insurance for a 17 yr old girl and which is cheaper on petrol? Thank you xox
Car insurance?
i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions
Insurance (california)?
I'm an international student who goes to college in Iowa. I have a college insurance and I guess it convers most of meetings with doctors. Now, I'm taking 3 months-summer session at University of California. I think I 've heard some stuff that I need to have Californian insurance to stay here. What is this? Is it wrong? Plus, my wisdom teeth is coming out recently. It starts to hurt. Does insurance in America covers dental work?""
Insurance for scooter?
I am thinking of getting a 125cc scooter to save gas this summer. Do I need insurance for the scooter? Then it would defeat the purpose for me
Help i need cheap auto insurance.?
i have a 2001 pontiac grand prix gt and i am 19 years old and i live at zip code 48726 i need cheap car insurance can you help please
Where can i get the cheapest car insurance if im 18?
93 prelude
Cars with cheap insurance?
I am 17 and hold a full UK provisional license. I am having driving lessons. I'm just wondering of any cars with cheap insurance for when I pass my test as I'll be getting a car for my birthday in October. I am a girl so no boy racing cars
What is a car insurance quote?
What is a car insurance quote?
What's a good medical insurance plan for someone in my situation in CA?
It's so overwhelming with all the different policies out there, if someone has a recommendation for a good insurance company that is affordable for my situation: a. self employed single female b. no health risks/problems c. mid 30s d. prefer a plan that covers maternity just in case""
Is the only insurance for abortion Medicaid?
What are other insurances that cover Medicaid or is this the only one?
Car insurance question?
i had a non fault accident for which the claim is still ongoing as the 3rd party is not admitting liability and we both are with same insurance. The problem is that our car is booked in for repairs but and we have fully comprehensive insurance but the insurance is saying that they cannot guarantee us courtesy car as no one is admitting liability??? and they told me to phone hire company to ask them if they can provide one, i have always thought that with fully comp you are guaranteed courtesy car but i do not understand what they are doing.""
Emergency answers asap! Cheapest car insurance just to be legal?
We just need to drive from texas to PA, and we're not going to keep the plan. we just need to be kept legal from pa to texas, i realize we'll need 6month car insurance (assuming temporary car insurance is a myth) we need to leave tomorrow and we will be on the road a few days geico dropped us immediately after a car side swiped us, so that is on the record. yes, the cancellation is effective. we don't have time to investigate, I really just need cash numbers or whatever advice you may have.""
Vw lupo gti insurance!!?
hi there, im nearly 17 in a few days and i want to buy a VW Lupo GTI for my first car but im not sure how much the insurance will cost because it is a GTI. does anyone have any ideas how much it will cost????? thanks :)""
I live in California and got a second offense for driving without insurance how much will this cost me?
I live in California and got a second offense for driving without insurance how much will this cost me?
""Going to buy a car for my teen, does he need insurance yet?""
Hello, i know that he will eventually need insurance for his car. But i'm going to buy him a car for his birthday. He only has his permit now and will be getting his license in 3 months. I want to know when i go buy the car who's name should it be under? how is this going to work?""
How can i get car insurance on a car that is not in my name or my husbands name?
Our car (or my husbands car you might say) is legally my father-in-law's because its registered in his name. My husband's car insurance is also under his father, but his name is on his father's insurance policy. (so its my husbands car insurance, but his father is the main one on the policy... he's under his fathers car insurance more or less) The car is registered in Georgia, and the insurance is an out-of-state insurance from Georgia but it insures us down here in Florida (where we live). He has Allstate insurance. How do i come about getting car insurance on our car? I'd have to get it myself... i don't think they want me going under their policy (or whatever it is you call it)... id have to get it on my own. Would it cost a lot more because i'm doing it this way?""
Will my sisters auto insurance go up?
i live with my sister and her husband. i do not have any auto insurance. i was a pedestrian that got backed into by a car. i now will have to go and have surgery on my knee. to make a long story short, will my sisters auto insurance cover me because i am a resident relative? will their auto insurance go up if they cover me (they will get reimbursed though by the party who hit me)""
Vw r32 any idea on insurance?
hi i am 23 year old female with 2 years no claims. just lookign for a very rough idea of costs to insure an r32, any similar ppl can tell me? thanks""
Financed a motorcycle do i need full coverage or can i buy liabilty?
I know the lender of the loan wants his money even if the bike gets stolen/totaled/breaks down what ever. But why do i need to have full coverage. So if the bike gets stolen/totaled whatever isn't all the lender worried about is getting his money? So if that happens i will tell the lender not to worry i will keep paying payments until the loan is paid off because i dont want to ruin my credit.
The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs?
The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs.? The cost of driving a car includes both fixed costs and mileages costs. Assume that it costs $161.20 per month for insurance and car payments and $0.25 per mile for gasoline, oil, and routine maintenance. (a) Find values for m and b so that y=mx+b models the monthly cost of driving the car x miles. (b) What does the value of b represent? (a) m=___(Type an integer or a decimal) b=____(Type an integar or a decimal) (b) Choose the correct answer below. A. The rate of change in cost of the car with each mile. B. The optimal cost of owning the car for one month. C. The fixed cost of owning the car for one month without driving it. D. The total cost of owning the car for one month.""
Which car insurance agency is best for me?
Which car insurance agency is best for me? Please guide me.
How To Fight Back When car Insurance Claim Is Denied?
a guy it me on the back wen i was stop on traffic them another hit him, the guy that hit me his insurance wont paid, i'm going to make a claim also with the other guy's insurance but can anyone tell me how i can fight this myself because i have 3rd class card insurance and they wont fight it ,i wane know ifcan i do anything like take them to court myself and how or anything around these lines thatcan help(they said they dodn have to much info on the case to said that they'r at fault""
Car total by unlicensed and uninsured driver...what to do?
My car was being driven by my husband,an excluded driver on my insurance, and was hit by a driver running through a red light. The driver has no insurance and no license so I doubt I will recover anything from her but my insurance company won't pay anything as well. Will my GAP coverage still pay the difference between the totaled value and the cost of my lien?""
What happen if drive car with no insurance?
i've been buying this used car since last 2 weeks and drive it with no insurance. The MOT and tax will end in August. I just cant afford to buy the insurance yet. What happen if i don't insured it? i live in Northern Ireland, UK""
Will conservatives send back the refund on their health insurance to protest the Affordable Care Act?
Americans all across the country are receiving refunds from their health insurance providers (mine was $166). Included with the checks are letters explaining that the refund is the result of the Affordable Care Act. The Act requires health insurance companies to spend at least 80% of every dollar received on actual health care (I.e. not on administrative costs or CEO salary). Companies who fall below that cutoff must refund the difference to their policy holders. Will conservatives who receive such a refund send it back to protest the Act?
my friend wreak my car and he has full coverage with geico but does his insurance cover my car to. he wants ?
my friend wreak my car and he has full coverage with geico but does his insurance cover my car to. he wants to pay for it without calling his insurance cause he wants to pay cash it has been over a month. nothing has been done to fix my car. He did give me his car to use till this is settled but can i contact his insurance to see if i can get a claim to have my car fixed as soon as possible. called and they said that no information can be released without insured consent. in Yahoo! Answers
""Someone reversed into my car, is it better to go through maaco instead of insurance? its jus ta minor scratch?""
i was at a stop sign and i was abou tthe 4th car, well the 3rd car decided to reverse to leave and backed up and hit the front of my car. its not really that bad but its still a big scratch. is it best to just have her pay my estimate at maaco? or deal with insurance? i don't want to get jacked up insurance rates because someone doesn't know how to reverse.""
Car insurance?
i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions
Health Insurance for Summer Camp?
i need to know if health insurance is a MUST (no other way) for summer camp at school it asks in the physical exam and stuff
DMV paying ticket/showing proof of insurance?
I'm In California I received a traffic ticket and did not have my proof of insurance with me. I received my courtesy notice and my amount owed Would be 1000 without my insurance proof. It will obviously be reduced significantly if I show my proof of insurance. I know that you can pay traffic tickets at the DMV. And I want to pay the ticket In payments. So here comes my question- can I go to the DMV and show THEM (the Court Clerk stationed there) my correction (proof of insurance) instead of having to go all the way to the court house? And can I ask for a payment plan there as well? Or can I ONLY show my Correction(Proof of Insurance) and ask for a payment plan at the court house? My first ticket :| And the court house is pretty far from where I live. DMV is right around the corner. That's why I ask :P Thanks
How much will my monthly payment and insurance be for a sports car?
im trying to figure out how much my car insurance will be. im 17, ive never owned a car, have no credit history and i want to buy a 1990 toyota supra which is a sports car. the car will probably cost $5000. i just really need to know how much i can expect to be paying a month with insurance and monthly payments""
How much will insurance cost for a 16 year old on a Mustang GT?
I work and I wanted to know how much will it cost we are currently on progressive insurance.
""If I buy a car off someone, how do I put insurance on it immediately?""
This would be my first car purchase and so I don't have an insurance agent. Would I need to look up a company, let them know I'm about to buy a car, then later call them back with the VIN?""
What's the cheapest car insurance?
& are add-on cars cheaper than the main car?
Im looking for cheap insurance on a land rover series 3 im 17 years old where is the cheapest company?
what is the cheapest insurance company or cheapest option???
How is Erie auto and homeowners insurance?
I am searching for different auto and home insurance. Erie insurance has given me a good quote. Are they a good insurance company?
Car accident with no insurance?
I got into a car accident today and totaled my car. the other vehicle just had bumper damage. come to find out my insurance tried to take my payment out my account but were unsuccesfull so they canceled it a month ago. whats gonna happen since i am at fault and no insurance
Motorcycle insurance for 125cc?
Hi guys, Just wondering if anyone could help me, I want to get a motorcycle instead of a car - despite what people say I just can't wait to ride to college and back. So I've chosen to get a honda CG 125 which is a decent bike runs from a to b. I'm looking at insurance online and it's around a grand! Is the companies that offer cheap insurance I mean, what's the average price? I'm 18 live in a decent area without much crime - I'm doing my cbt next week and maybe it's fact I haven't been riding (in their eyes) a long time? Any help appreciated!""
Where might i find proof of insurance in texas?
I need to find proof of insurance for my car in the year 2004 is there some where that it might be saved, my insurance company no longer has records, and I am in desperate need of that proof""
Is insurance required to keep a valid Florida driver's license if I dont own nor drive a car?
I am not currently driving nor do is there a vehicle under my name. If i do drive it will be a friend or girlfriends car. Will the florida dmv suspend my license now that I have been removed from my parents insurance?
How much would th insurance cost on an old muscle car?
I am looking to buy an old muscle car and i wanted to know how much the insurance would be. Is it a good idea to go with an ild muscle car I am 16 Live in california No big buildings in my town I have good grades Would most likely use it as a daily driving car
Which is the best insurance which i need to take for my parents who visiting USA?
My parents are coming to US and need to take a medical and dental insurance for them. please advise
How much roughly with motorcycle insurance be for me?
Im 17 and looking to see how much insurance is for when i get my motorbike. Im looking to get a 125CC motorbike second hand nothing fast. How much roughly do you think? Im don't care if the insurance is only for theft and accidents coverage. the bike will be stored in a garage and be locked up.
How to convince parents to let me have auto insurance?
I've had my license for a little over three months now. However, I have no insurance, and therefore cannot drive (in California). Their reasoning is that I am an unsafe driver which I disagree with because I quite easily passed my driving test at the DMV and always think before I do anything when I drive. However, they seem firm on their decision... It's a bit frustrating having my license for so long but still being unable to drive. I'm tired of having to always ask friends for a ride or my parents; I just want a taste of independence. Of course, I'm not trying to be too arrogant or stubborn, I've respected my parent's decision, it's just bugging me a bit now haha. I offered to do a six-month plan instead of a year plan since I'm heading off to college in Septemberish. I'm about to turn 18 in a couple weeks also. Does anyone have any advice?""
Best insurance companies for 18 year old passed my tes?
ok ive pased my test a month on friday and i gettin a car this week and i need some insurance on the car obviiously lol, well basically whats the cheapest car insurance all you 18 year old have and who is it with, please :)""
Which we will take good family health insurance?
i would like take one good family health insurance,give me details suggestion which is best""
Unitrin Direct Auto Insurance (Any good?)?
Asked by: hyphenga-ga I recently responded to an e-mail for a free auto insurance price quote (I'm in California). I wasn't really looking to shop around - and wasn't planning to switch companies to save a buck or two, but I was kinda shocked when the price quote I got from Unitrin Direct (same coverage limits and deductibles) was $510 less than I'm paying now. I called and asked what the catch was and they said they sell direct with no agents/offices and pass the savings onto the customer (logical, but obviously scripted answer). They also touted an A.M. Best Excellent rating, but what good is financial stability if they bungle claims (for example) or have terrible customer service? So I guess I'm looking for a little confidence - or a big fat warning - before I jump into anything. Are they reputable? Is there any objective info available about them? (I'd love any good/bad comments from Unitrin customers out there too.)""
Cheapest car insurance for 17yr olds in ireland?
Cheapest car insurance for 17yr olds in ireland?
How do you get temporary insurance?
I need insurance just for one diagnosis and possible surgery. Is there any way I can get temporary insurance? How much is it and what do I need to do to get it??
How much of a role does health insurance issues have with hiring and firing employees?
Group insurance through the employer's insurance plan.
UK QUESTION classic bike insurance online?
What would you say is the best,in other words cheapest bike insurance places online for me in the uk. ebike just quoted me 74 quid was hoping for insurance for about 50 to be honest""
""Life insurance, how much is the cost?""
for 500,000$ insurance, for my family should something happen to me. i don't want my family to get in any trouble should i be gone. where can i get some estimates?""
Cheapest insurance company for young drivers?
Just wondering what the cheapest place for a young driver to get insurered is from people's experience, thank you""
Car insurance?
i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions
How do I get out of a ticket in California for no proof if insurance?
I got a ticket for not having PROOF of insurance but I did have insurance I just didn't have the paper on me. How can I contest this in court? Also I got a ticket for failure to obey a regulatory sign for going 64 in a 70 (allegedly) I was going 70+. He said I sped up when the highway patrol came up behind me. Obviously I'm going to slow down 1. It's a cop 2. I didn't want to get a ticket for speeding that's why I slowed down when he came behind me. And he said I sped up when he came behind me I was going 70 then I slowed when he showed up behind me.
Will getting one speeding ticket increase my insurance bill? Will it show up at all on the bill?
I have Allstate if that matters at all..
Wow does anybody else have insurance this cheap?!?!?!?!?
I just bought a2005 Suzuki GSXR 600 Sportbike ( high powered). I got my insurance and They quted me $7.65 every 6 months for liability and 75.68 for fukll coverage, which I got. I know some people that are paying 800.00 every six months for this bike. I have been with the company (State Farm) since I was 16 and have nothing on my record. I am 25 now. Anybody getting this good of a deal???""
Which is best health insurance company in india?
best health insurance company
What is the AVERAGE cost of surgery to fix a varicocele without insurance in the midwest?
I have a varicocele in my left testicle. I have no medical insurance. How much does this operation cost to fix it? I know it will vary, but i want to know the AVERAGE out of pocket cost. This is in a midwest state.. Also, would doctors offer a payment option?""
Will having motorcycle insurance for a few years help lower auto insurance in the long run?
Will having motorcycle insurance for a few years help lower auto insurance in the long run?
What company has the least expensive auto insurance for young drivers?
Does anyone know of an insurance company that is reasonable with it's rates for a young lady driver with a good driving record but bad credit? Full coverage is needed on the vehicle. Thank you for your time and your answers.
What are the variables included in the cost of car insurance?
What are the BASIC variables that are included in any car insurance? i.e...car color, car make, type of car, horsepower, year, age of driver, ethnicity...? Which things do they look at car wise/and driver wise that affect how much insurance you end up paying in the end? and does the speed of the car effect the cost greatly?""
Why are some people's health insurance rates going up?
I've heard a lot of stories about people's insurance rates doubling or tripling. My wife's insurance just went up. What's going on? I thought Obamacare was supposed to make insurance more affordable? http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/09/24/one-man-obamacare-nightmare/
Who knows the best Health Insurance out there for individuals. Plan and pricing must be affordable. Thanks.?
It must come with an appropriate and flexible plan, with affordable pricing for a college student.""
In BC how much difference in insurance costs is it based on the cost of the?
vehicle? I'm not talking about liability but collision and comprehension. I'm buying a car that costs about 10,000.00 and I am used to driving crappy cars that cost $2000.00. I'm trying calculate the difference in insurance costs. Does anybody know?""
Insurance For a 1968 Ford Falcon?
Can anyone give me a serious quote of what the insurance would be for 16 year old driver on a 1968 Ford Falcon. Also what would be the quote for a 48 year old driver in Northeastern, Ohio.""
Where can I sign up for health insurance?
I have tried the phone and nothing and online I cant seem to find a website. So does anyone know where I can do it locally. Im located in north hollywood california. Or any help would be great thanks:)
Which car insurance doesn't charge for points?
I went to traffic school for two speeding tickets last year, however when I received a quote they ran my drivers license and saw I had two points on my driving record and my rates sky rocketed. The speeding infractions remained on my DMV record but I do not reflect any points because I completed traffic school. I heard that some car insurers don't necessarily go by the points, but they go by infractions... WHICH car insurer will ignore the points as a result of my completing traffic school? ps. i live in california Thanks in advance.""
Where I can get best auto insurance rates ?
Please find me a good web site to get some details about best auto insurance rates . For my research this data will be useful to me. thank you
Baby health insurance question?
[this isn't for real, its for school] if i have a child who has muscular dystrophy and a wife who is 4 months pregnant with another child, can i still get health insurance on that unborn baby without getting him tested? do i have the right not to tell the insurance companies? why might i not want to tell my employer? how would i feel about mandatory genetic testing? do insurance companies have the right to deny insurance to individuals with genetic disorders?""
Is Physician's Mutual a good insurance to buy on your own?
My family currently has no medical insurance and I received information in the mail on Physicians Mutual Insurance Company and wanted to know if anyone has used them and if they are affordable for a family?
""People w/o health insurance how do you pay for medical care, or do you?""
I looked into insurance available to me in Georgia and here what the least affordable costs me: $350/month, 20% specialist cost after a $3500/yr deductible, 3 doctor visits per year at $45 each, $20 for each prescription, no dental/vision coverage and other charges that add up to over $7500/yr. And all of this BEFORE the latest 14% price hike. I've decided to save up the same $7500/yr for medical expenses and chuck the insurance companies. I figure some years I won't use all the money and it could go towards the years when I need it. What's your solution?""
Vehicle damaged..have ? about insurance?
A tree fell on my vehicle during Hurricane Ike. My husband thinks there may be at least $10000 worth of damage to it. I looked it up on kelly blue book and its only worth approx 9000.00. I tried trading it in a few weeks ago and they only wanted to give me $5000, I'm glad I didn't take that one. I purchased the GAP insurance thru the dealership. Do you think Allstate will just total it and let the GAP insurance pay the balance of my loan. I'm really really upside down. It really looks cosmetic to me but there are things hanging underneath it and it is very hard to drive. I think it would be cheaper for the insurance company to total it and let GAP take the rest. How does that work?""
I'm stuggling to find car insurance HELP!?
I'm 21 and i past my driving test in may 2011 and got my car in july, I was insured by swiftcover for 145 per month but then I become ill and had to leave work so I couldn't afford the payments and decided to cancell my insurance til I could get back to work, but when I tried to renew my claim with swiftcover then said their policies have changed and they can no longer provide insurance for people who have been driving less then 4 years! So now every other insuance company want around 250-280 per month and I just can't afford this. Do u know any cheap insurers that take on young drivers in the UK, HELP!""
Motorcycle insurance?
About how much would insurance cost for a 17yr old High school student. If I was buying a sports bike with around 500cc of power. I'd be on my parents plan. So I would need a guess if using Progressive.
Insurance fraud?
I have a friend who committed insurance fraud. he had to do a sworen affidated. (he claimed his brand new sled was stollen) What can happen if he is caught.
I need help with car insurance.?
I am saving up for a car but I don't wan't the car to be a sports car because the insurance would cost to much. Could you tell me which cars are not sports cars. 1967 chevy impala 1969 chevy nova 1969 plymouth Barracuda 1995 chevy camaro 1970 AMC Javelin Ford thunderbird ford firebird Thanks!
""What is the absolute best, maximum protection motorcycle insurance for me? 20/F 1st time rider.?""
I am willing to pay more, I just dont want to get cheap insurance that doesn't cover me. No subrogation clauses, I want to be covered as much as I possibly can. I am in TX. Is Allstate good? My car is under Allstate. I have heard Dairyland Insurance is good...anyone have experience with it? I dont have any tickets or violations on my record.""
Who knows about car insurance?
How much would it cost for a teenager to have car insurance on a Mustang?
Car insurance?
i currently have a car and am insured fully comp on this. my partner is about to purchase me a new one but as i still own the other one i'm not sure what to do about insurance. i'm tempted to take out another policy with a diffenret company for fully comp and run them both until i sell my old one. any suggestions
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/advice-car-insurance-ohiopaying-way-too-much-william-chandler/"
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i spoke it out loud.
i spend like.. alot of time in my head now. no one cares to hear things without giving their dumbass opinion. sometimes i just need to say it out loud and today i opened up to a friend ive bonded very close with but havent been in alot of contact with which meant i had to explain scenarios from start to finish - not brief blips of anxiety fueled thoughts about details.
today i felt publically embarassed. it really, really bothered me that for all ive heard and listened to from him he bailed on my show that he volunteered to be apart of two fucking months ago. it wasnt like i forced him to be involved. i didnt even ask him like i wanted him to do it. it was very casual do you want to be apart of it - sure.
i dont think you understand. under all the shitty men ive stuck it out with being treated like a lesser human while building a reputation and skill in my field FROM FUCKING NOTHING while people fucking died and break ups i id nothing but GET FUCKING BETTER. not a god damn thing stopped me because i kept my personal life seperate.
but this didnt start seperate. and like i think he sees this as nothing when its fucking everything to me and im fucking tired of people seeing it as some junk hobby i do because im “unemployed”. and look - even i can see how fucked up it can be sometimes but people enjoy what i do. i give back to MY community which is compromised of atleast 100+ more people and giving back to a community is not defined in lare fucking numbers like i have to contribute to the whole of society. maybe i fucking am.
and i am really... im angry. im just straight up fucking angry and these things never even came up. none of this is questioned. he didnt insult me. he fucking BAILED which is probably the biggest insult of them all. like... i even brought up the fact he coul be about to cheat on me and i’m more pissed that he insulted me in such a way. do i have a fucking degree? do i pull a paycheck? no. but this is fucking valuable. i see it everytime my miserable piece of shit ass pulls together a gathering or event. the fucking city approached me because i created a product they wanted and for the fucking INTEGRITY of the community i stood up and offered my professional reputation on the line to do better. and you cant show up to a fucking 16 person event and read a god damn story? really? that is an embarassment on my behalf to my personal colleagues and god damnit i fucking live here and i have no choice but to work with this because i want better now not 5 years down the road when im all settled and everything is just a thing i do on the weekends. why cant i contribute now. why cant i build myself this way.
so even if you thin these colleagues are unworthy - you stepped into my fucking realm and you so deeply disrespect something i have built from nothing. my professional reputation is associated with your piece of shit fly by night ass and you know what? my fucking bad. i would never in a million years put up with this shit from anyone not puttin gtheir dick in me so this is absolutely ridiculous. i cant even tolerate this in myself any longer and i hope - honestly - i fucking hope you used this as a leaping point into your big break up because this is what’ll make it stick. right. because you “cant fuck someone else” to solidify an ending but you can assault me in multiple ways.
and we both fucking know. we both legitimately fucking know what happened and thats why were not fucking and thats why youre not trying. this - this is all just natural now. and when they ask me ill have to act dumb - oh i have no idea why hes just this crazy guy its what he does when we both know and this sick twisted brain turned to fucking shit. who rehashes such shit. i was with a guy for way fucking longer than almost any of my current peers and i am not fucking with him but you dont think we didnt grow up together? we ha a whole fucking lifetime together, really. i shared an entire thing that no one else fucking knows about but us but you think i ned to rehash that shit with him? fuck no.
ironic right. i wanted to say how toxic it is to be addicted to the past but i would know. i would fucking know the most and we’re all matthew mccougnhey in dazed nd confused addicted to the past to the nostalgia care free late teens early 20s but we’re fucking old and everyone else has grown up but us and we’re here in the ghettos of the wasted suburbs, drinking and smoking weed to numb the fact that we hit our peaks at 16.
do i even give a fuck? like i give A fuck. clearly. im thiining about it. but not in the sense that im hurt. like its some deep offense that he would do such things. i have never believed a word he has said about our relationship. i believe any mention of long term past next week is a fucking joke. but he’s also incredibly kind to me. an i dont think at all that he would carry on some “affair” in private - THATS not our deal.
i dont care that hes talking to her. the grief process is hard and this is a fucked up situation. that doesnt bother me. i think its super wrong to carry on a relationship with this person in close measures but finding a path through grief - whether 2,3,5 years; i get it. does he need to fuck her? nope. and i have had a strange enough relationship - i am not interested in carrying on one tht is knowingly false.
he told me he didnt love me a few weeks ago. before that in another major blow up he mentioned how that particular fight woul lead to a “scar” that woul sit on the relationship. not that it woud be brought up again but acknowledging that he was and is creating real scars emotionally and mentally. it’s not manipulative - i’m here of my own freewill, i deal of my own free will. and this happens not often enough to be a malicious attempt at control. and we dont talk about things. ever. an entire year where we have never spoken about the details of these things we both COMPLEteLY KNOW ABOUT. like we both know he kind of sexually assaulted me for real. and isay for real because of the nature of our relationship but we both strayed from the necessary things for such a relationship that wouldve led to this not even happening and i dont “blame” myself. i absolutely did not want to have sex with him. absolutely did not. i said i did not want to have sex with him. i said no. i did not physically stop him in any way because of the nature of our relationship and the disrespect of my own body as well as maybe a need for approval from him because i associate sex in an intimate romantic relationship as an expression of love from a sexual person. and its hard because i do legitimately feel asexual; i have no interest. i have actual no interest and i feign interest or find ways to be interested to a degree but i dont care. so i am in a position where i am frequently disconnectin from the physical act happening to my body because i may not even be necessarily enjoying it on that sexual level. to me its an appendage inserted in a hole and it’s kind of invasive and a really od experience with someone. like its just odd to do that with a person and share eachother like that - TO ME. but this is like fighting homosexuality. i cant argue a sexual persons desires.
so i enter a relationship already essentially to a technical definition being assaulted. im never truly having consensual sex because i have no desire but i guess i do consent to the invasion of my body. i dont disagree with it happening because if i love you i dont really care if thats your thing. its not that big of a deal. brushing your teeth, taking a shower. all just things you do. this is what a majority of eople do.
but we both fucking know. no matter how many times we had sex where it started with a playful no we both know i absolutely did not want this. my body did not even want it and he still kept going and i was not even making noise and he still kept going and the air was not right when it was over because he STILL KEPT GOING. i was not upset. i did not cry. i didnt lament for hours on it. i turned over and went to sleep because he didnt hurt me. he broke my trust. i’m not traumatized by the experience, i wont put him on the “bad boyfriend” list and make him out to be a predator because hes not. i dont know why he did this. maybe he thought it was okay and he convinced himself it was okay when it wasnt.
we didnt talk about this. we didnt mention it at all but when he heard no next time he immediately stopped. when he heard it again, he immediately stopped. and everytime after, his hands immediately dropped from my body. we both know. can he apologize? we both know. i know he knows. there is zero reason for this change in behavior.
the last time i saw him he drove me to his house so i could smoke weed because of period cramps. and then he dropped out. hes too far in the dog house now and hes not even going to try to get out. this is tooooooo far. on top of everything else when im literally doing nothing but existing in my own shit life. i already look at him now and i dont see the same thing and i want to. but i keep asking myself what the fuck is this where are we going. and ive asked it for an entire year. i asked it so much his face changed and im still the same because i have a need to not give up even when its time.
and you know. had he called me and said im tired/got home late/too much traffic /tried & failed on story and made a genuine effort to seem apologetic on a personal level to me id probably be okay. but instead he just said “sorry. not going.” and ignored all further calls and texts. thats disgusting and like im trying and have been trying really hard to mentally be a better person and this was one of those times he had an opportunity to not do this and he did exactly what i would expect him to do following a stupid message like that.
now what? now hes created a thing. now i gotta wait the fucking 2 - 3 days for him to think i forgot about it or am not as angry so we can sit in the same room, not talk about it and carry on as normal.
but you know what? i was pissed. and i ruminated. but i didnt act. i sent a succinct few messages less than 160 characters asking him to call me and asking if there was any way to get a ride and moved on because all i know is that he’s never goingt o be involved in any of my professional shit ever again. hes totally disbarred from this project and even though hes been a big supporter in the past i dont need this emotional drama involved. totally ot worth it an not valuable to anyone so i dont need a long message because im just going to do whatever i want an not involve him. he doesnt need a big dramatic thing about it. and fuck you that i cant even get a ride. why even waste the energy involved in the dramatic message. thats my message this time. my message is the time he absolutely 100% expects me to send the ramatic message.
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