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#i know thats not good for any of us and its not helpful and can lead to some Damaging Discourse but god damn. try not to sound so...
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thinking about the relationship between sif and the universe, and related theories / headcanons aka I listened to a song and I need to get these feefees out of me
this is a lot of prelude for something that can be shown with just the video clip, but I want to include all the strings that make up this knot
Its not explicitly stated, but I believe it's pretty clear that whenever sif repeats something three times while hoping for something (sharpening the keyknife, carving in general, praying to the change god statue in dormont), he is performing wish craft.
however, he doesnt repeat anything three times when getting the keyknife. he doesnt even need to pray to get it at all, the change god just gives it to him. they say themselves that they dont care for rituals. they never even take credit for the stat buff, they only take credit for the keyknife
when sif changes how they pray at the change god statue, their method more strongly resembles the ritual to make a wish at the favor tree (picking the one you like best), and as a result the buff gets better. it is the wish craft ritual that is the important part of the prayer to that statue, not the change god
one thing that IS explicitly stated is just how powerful wish craft is for those who know the rituals, and how dangerous it is in the wrong hands. between the disappearance of colors (Im pretty sure that was the result of a wish, I may be misremembering), the disappearance of the country, and the king being nearly successful in freezing all of vaugarde in time, it only takes one wish to take out massive chunks of the world at a time
we know that wish craft is very entwined in the culture of the country (the story written about in the journal is told as a cautionary fairy tale, the rituals themselves are so deeply ingrained in sif that the wish to forget the country did not restrict his memory of the rituals, and he can perform wish craft without even being fully aware he is doing it)
it seems reasonable to me that the reason for the country's disappearance was to hide the existence of wish craft and the rituals to access that power from the rest of the world. considering sif didnt even remember his culture AND had good intentions, and still nearly ended the world, seems like that concern is pretty well founded. however, thats not the important theory Im making this post about
the country has knowledge of wish craft in conjunction with worship of the universe. "the universe leads, we can only follow," "the universe willed it," seems pretty safe to say that sif's Universe is the "entity" that is granting wishes
the way wishes are described, they dont seem like something the universe grants based on who worships it. as long as you know the ritual, you get the wish. everyone is part of the universe, after all, worshiper or not
Admittedly, its a bit of a stretch to say that the universe as a collective force has any sense of empathy for human struggles. but using the change god as an example, as spiteful as they are to sif, and unsympathetic to anything other than a human's role in the concept of change, they still show a great deal of care and favor to mira, someone who loves them. it is possible for a deity to care for those that care about it
sif, despite no longer having access to his culture or why he cares about the universe, still loves the universe, very very deeply, just as much as mira loves change. the change god says that sif's deity will never answer him, but I dont think thats the case
and this is the important headcanon that I am making this post for
sif is performing the rituals, so he gets the wishes, simple as. but I feel strongly that his wishes getting granted in very small but noticeable ways, despite not knowing how or why hes doing it, is the presence of his universe helping him, caring for him, even when he doesnt remember it
the strongest evidence for this, and the basis for this whole thing, is exactly how euphrasie breaks down in act 5
at first I only really noticed when she laughs, it reminded me very much of how the change god, a being who uses sprites of other characters and has done a whole possession, laughed during their encounter. they and euphrasie are the only two that use anything other than "ha," and right after this laugh is when her breakdown pauses and she says the lines
"... Soon you'll be able to go back to your normal lives. Away from battle and strife. Finally, you'll all be able to go home!!!"
which, knowing the end of the game is coming, is incredibly relevant. very deliberate
before this pause, her breakdown seems pretty chaotic. the characters and the player are just coming out of one harrowing experience, and are clearly headed for another. the cohesiveness of this glitchy breakdown amongst a mess of the rest of the world doing the same isnt really high up on the list of priorities. none of the characters notice anything beyond the fact that reality is breaking, not even sif. it just sounds like scary nonsense.
but with the context of euphrasie being possessed to talk to sif, every single one of her lines makes perfect sense
(footage from Zhain Gaming on yt)
the universe is there its talking directly to him, it was there the whole time
the Universe loves Sif so much
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fatmaclover · 2 days
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theres something to be said about how mac still holds such a childish adoration for his parents after such a long time. how literally its shown to us by the fact that
mac always slicked his hair back as a child, when he still had contact with his father
he stops doing this into adulthood, but later in life, once mac interacts with his father again, he starts slicking his hair back again
he doesnt stop. slicking his hair back. until his own father walks out during his coming out performance. the guy he put it on for. only after that does he completely stop styling his hair that way
not to mention the constant refusal that his mom (and dad) could be anything but perfect, the way hes so desperate to do good by them, viewing them as the way to measure his success...
and. yeah thats. something.
the internal denial that his parents treated him poorly, the fact that its his primary instinct to deny that his parents suck, the constant dismissal of his own issues relating to family because his whole life hes been told that "other people have it worse". the way hes internalized that so hard. the way it takes his dad walking out on macs coming out performance to him for mac to stop blindly idolizing some guy whos threatened to kill him
the constant fear of his own father, while also believing him to be the coolest bestest guy ever. the way he always assumes his father is gonna get violent when actually talking to him, but sings nothing but praises when away from him
the fact that he still calls his dad "daddy" even.
i mean you cant really blame him for not fully growing up in some areas huh
its not even that i think he doesnt know that his parents treat him horribly, it just really seems like he wants so badly to believe thats not the case from years of having his cries for help ignored or made fun of. he cant have been treated poorly, because charlie was treated poorly, and his baggage isnt nearly as bad as charlies, so clearly macs home life wasnt bad.
i think thats proven most of all by his frustration with his own family at times, it really feels like theres some underlying issues. they can very quickly manifest as frustration and anger, but honestly its probably mostly sadness. the way he reacts to his own mother really reminds me of how i interact with family members i have grudges with but have to pretend i dont. im not actually angry at any of these people, im mostly just exhausted by them.
he very clearly is still aware of the neglect he faced as a kid, to me. he knows his home life was severely fucked up, hes just never been able to express that, so hes coped by just. pretending that it didnt happen.
and realistically i dont know if he could ever properly acknowledge that his home life was fucked and his parents suck. maybe hed acknowledge that his dad sucks now, but it wouldnt have been that bad when he was a kid and wasnt a fag. right? he was loved then. his mom still did a great job raising him, and he really loves her, and he was raised with all the love and care a child needs.
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peppermintpegis · 4 months
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netflix one piece live action feels a little like fanfic in that it makes sure it hits all the important notes but doesnt do all the work to make them hit which works in fic where the reader is supposed to bring all the emotional story investment from the original but doesnt work in a multi million adaptation that is supposed to be able to stand on its own or even serve as an intro to the series. it even does this in service to have more koby and helmeppo gay moments in this essay i w
#one piece#opla#the fleshing out of koby and helmeppo is like honestly good its a beacon of light its truly really fun#and all the actors are great it is just what they are given .#they didnt let nami do any real betraying. they didnt even have her steal the merry!! she just stole the map that they added in!!!!#ddont get me started on the gutting of sanjis intro. i dont give a shit about if don krieg appears or not i need to see this guy fuckin#feed the hand thats about to kill him im going to start shaking like a dog.#im almost madder krieg appeared for just a little id rather have that time be used for. anything else really.#like have one of arlongs guys starved half to death when they get to arlong park!or idk anything! no gin appears look its gin! you know him#sanji doesnt even get to beat the shit out of a shitty guest. like i guess he does a little but it feels so blink and you miss it#+the first like two eps were good!! buggys great hes scary and weird and fun. i dont mind that he sticks around longer in theory#but the way he is comedic relief instead of basically every character having funny bits is like. ahghhhgggg. its a symptom of this really#mean and edgy feeling the whole thing has. like the removal of people missing usopps pirate calling :( and how cocoyashi didnt know#nami was working to help them. like p. please. can we have caring and bonds in this world?? trust and love???#anyway. sorry for having expectations of a netflix show im so close to putting this into a more proper form rather than tags. just to get i#all out of my system cause fuck man.#anyway solid 7/10 not as bad as it couldve been
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kaijusmart · 3 months
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messing around in blender :p
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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Apologies in advance for I am limited on characters I have thoughts on but
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I hate changing the colors to maintain a smooth gradient or I would've had more tiers and nuances... I'm often told Date's a worse driver than I remember, and Mitsu is sort of Schrodinger's License tier (minus the implication of high status) but. Y'know. If he's a civilian now and he's got a wife and kid it'd be useful methinks... Shishi also doesn't seem like the worst driver from what we see of him actually behind the wheel himself (vs. having a lackey drive) but I don't trust him like that... lol... I also do not remember Nishiki's driving at all even though I recall he's a Car Guy (as of 0, anyway) so I couldn't place him
this right here the reason why i havent closed my inbox this EXACTLY the kinda shit im looking for.... thank you so much...
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bucephaly · 7 months
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BTW if you haven't already please take a minute to look up what venomous snakes are local to you and familiarize yourself with them
#i joined a local snake ID group recently#before that i knew roughly how to spot a pit viper and hownto tell a coral from a scarlet snake#but i didnt really know how to identify specific species other than copperheads#and now im very confident in my ability to tell water snakes from cottonmouths etc#and it gives really nice peace of mind#like. ive seen so many people here in the us south that will freak out of Any snake#my mom once was yelling and crying trying to get help over a kingsnake on the sidewalk cuz she didnt know if it could kill the dogs#and people will kill snakes if they dont know [and often will anyway but knowing helps foster appreciation]#and now i can see a snake and say thats a coachwhip. isnt it pretty. and will gently grab the back end to look at it for just a second more#before letting it go hide#idk. i saw a rattlesnake in the woods today#and its the first time seeing one in the wild like that. and yea it was scary tbh#and i got a pic but booked it out once it noticed me and reacted#but i wish i had stopped and watched it longer cuz it was super pretty#and i know it wouldnt have bothered me at all#im just glad that we've seen two big full sized diamondbacks here in the past few months. and i know theyre two individuals#because eastern diamondbacks are declining and its good to know theres a population here#idk. im getting sentimental over snakes i just love them#but my main point is its so easy to indentify snakes at least where im at#and learning to id them comes with learning to respect them
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dysaniadisorder · 1 month
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i hate how normalized military is in the us im gonna rip my hair out
#i just. was talking w friends today#one of them was talking abt how he was almost convinced by the recruitment lady to join the navy and i was like. dude#and i was talking about how messed up it is that they send in people like that and catch kids like him#and my friends were like. you cant really blame her for doing her job. its her JOB like yes. it is her job. its fucking Bad#my best friend got all angry cuz his dad was in the navy. babe idc if he didnt actually fight he shouldnt have done it ♡#''people get drafted'' you have to dodge the draft.#''thats illegal'' yes. this is a requirement for if you are drafted. you Have to just not.#no one said action would be comfortable nor convenient. in fact it is going to be almost none of either#you are gonna have to face that the military murders human beings and your dad is not any better#and people who its ''just their job'' to do it chose that job. and they know#''you cant get mad at the worker woman; you have to get mad at the institution'' no im mad at the individual woman too#just because its your job to manipulate kids and kill Arab people doesnt mean its okay#''not everyone in the military is actively fighting'' no! they arent. but they are helping those that are.#they are not complicit but actively helping. you have to do anything and everything you can to just Not Fucking do that#ANYONE in the military has failed being a decent human 101. being in any part of the military means you are okay with centuries of genocide#and encourage even more. its not 'just your job' you are OK and more for relentless murder and i wish you harm#anyways. sometimes repeating & internalizing the things ur parents say means watch our for road traps and the beatles are good.#sometimes it is US propaganda and just because it is in your own house and coming from a loved one doesnt mean you cant not fall for it#edit not to mention him saying this the day after aaron bushnell died. dude#unethical jobs exist. it is everyones job to bring them down#''its just her job'' was Bushnells sacrifice not fucking enough for you??? and the millions of dead Palestinians????? christ
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oatbugs · 5 months
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having interactions w a wider range of ppl also means sometimes u will interact w ppl who are genuinely insane and it feels strange even if u don't care abt/know them as a person all. fucked up if true
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ghostie-gengar · 8 months
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does anybody know if google docs' ai thing is actually going to be taking everyone's stuff to use for prompts without consent? i've heard a lot of rumours about it but i don't wanna go through the trouble of moving all my stuff and deleting it if it's not true
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emptyemptycorners · 11 months
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been kind of feeling like an empty husk lately. and tonight i was remembering that time my stepdad told me i needed to "spend some time with (myself) and develop a personality". i remember being so enraged when he said that, as if i haven't spent my entire life mostly alone, being my only friend. as if its not that he refuses to make the effort to actually get to know me, no, i just don't have a personality at all. tbh, it really makes me wonder what in the world he even thinks about me condidering that at the time he said that he had been married to my mom for several years... i forget how long but probably like 5 years? like....
but i mean i don't really understand how well either of my sets of parents know me, including my mom actually. i do think my mom knows me better than any of my other parents but i think my brother knows me more than my mom, especially right now. in fact i almost wonder if my mom knows less of me now not even only because of ways i've changed but because she stopped caring...
#personal#journaling#ngl posting this shit to tumblr feels safer/more helpful than posting to an electronic journal app#i was trying to use my symptom tracker bc it has a mood/notes section but#i've been feeling so overwhelmed lately thatni just delete the notifications#and havent filled it out in weeks#its just so much to fill out. all my food all my symptoms and at what time and how much sleep#and i never feel like i can look back and actually understand anything about the trends#it all feels random#and there's categories i just stopped using altogether#bc it would try and tell me being at home makes me feel worse than being out and about and its like...#yeah ... maybe bc i only leave the house when im feeling good? maybe bc im home 98% of the time anyway????#like thanks but thats not helpful lmao#its literally easier for me to just notice if i ate something new and pay attention to any new symptoms#like if diet has literally any affect on my joints i prob will never know bc its too long term#but i'll know if my stomach is sick and i had something new that day#although sometimes i'll repeat the same meal and get different results#like tell me why i had miso + tofu and a new ice cream later in the night and needed stomach meds#but then the next day i had miso for breakfast instead and ice cream in the evening to make sure which one it was#and i didnt have any symptoms at all ...#like lol so what was it then bc thats all i had eaten the first day besides cereal for breakfast 😭😭😭#my body is just random. it decides at random how im going to feel and i cant find a pattern even using an app so#it just feels pointless#anyway so since i've not been tracking my symptoms i havent used a journal app in a while now#but like. im nervous about journal apps tracking me and potentially getting me in trouble???#im sure my logic is super flawed bc surely my tumblr would be just as unsafe but idk#like im afraid of expressing my full opinion on religion and politics for some reason ... lol#but yet on this super public and vaguely anonymous platform i have no issue make it make sense 😂😭😂#maybe i also wish for someone to listen but that feels rude and also selfish so idk#feel free to block the personal tag in which i post this shit
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gregoftom · 11 months
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TOMMMMMMMMTOMAFOMAFO TOM SWEEEEEEP TOM SWEEP!!!!! TOM SWEEP GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOLAZOOOOOOO GOL GOL GOL
#txt#sorry. i'm fine i just fucking GOD TOM THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUUUUT!#i fully expected him to apologise back but he DIDNT because he ISNT GONNA LIE ANY MORE#HE STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GOD. THANK GOD!!!!!#GOOD FOR HIM!!!!!!!#i know they BEATING HIS ASS in the twitter and dark part of tungle w stans but i dont care GOOD FOR FUCKIGN HIM#is he lying when he said is that a new tactic bc she fully brought it up IN AN ARGUMENT like she told him BC SHE WANTED TO LAY SOME#EMOTIONAL WARFARE ON HIM WHILE HE WAS BEING BATTERED BY ALL THREE SIBLINGS AT ONCE AND STRESSED TO SHIT#and can you blame him for not bowing down to her apology WHEN ITS OBVIOUS SHE FULLY SAID IT EXPECTING HIM TO DO THE SAME#she only said it bc she wanted him to take back everything he said. but he was NOT going to do that#he's not doing it any more.#and when she didn't get what she wanted she dropped the bomb on him she used it as a way to get him to break down and apologise#it was actually. another tactic because the first one didn't work. and yeah she IS pregnant but it was still a tactic.#also she was getting VERY annoyed with tom begging greg to help him. she could fully see tom was leaning heavily on greg for support.#she does NOT like that!!!! at all!! she knows! come on! she fucking knows! we all know! what else am i supposed to take from that!#she chooses THEN to do all this to tom? like right after he's outwardly calling for greg to help him and greg is Trying to. they're a team#right in front of her?#hm. hmmmmm. things that make you go HM.
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jvzebel-x · 1 year
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"only other Hawaiians ever make me feel not Hawaiian enough--"
"Hawaiians from the islands are racist--"
"Hawaiians from the mainland have REAL aloha spirit everyone up here is just Hawaiian, no matter how much blood you got--"
okay but you understand that every single portion of what you just said is rooted in colonialism&the attempted murder of our people+culture, right. like you GET why kānaka from the islands have to be so protective of things as they are on the frontlines watching both our culture&our land get chunked for the proft of those who have no right to any of it, right. like you KNOW that hawaiian homelands requires a 50% blood quota to even get on the list&a 25% quota from anyone you leave that land to post mortem, &that the list is STILL decades long because the vast majority of the homeless kānaka back home MEET that requirement, right-- that the homeless demographic in the islands has the largest percentage of us left in one grouping in the world&it isn't surprising the families who maintained a higher blood percentage are also too poor to leave the islands even while dying on the streets, right. like you are CAPABLE of conceptualizing what all of that would do when confronted with someone from the diaspora who "doesn't understand why the aloha spirit is dead in the islands". right. like you can SEE&HEAR how it sounds when you say the nonhawaiian people&legacy of the colonizers that tried to obliterate your ancestors are the only ones who make you feel hawaiian now that they as a group have successfully taken up the primary position on what makes a good hawaiian. right. like you KNOW why there's even a push to properly exemplify kānaka maoli after literally hundreds of years of our people having to save us from cultural obliteration, &that the push to be a "real hawaiian" definitely didn't start with us, the people who you are trying to reconnect to&identify with. right.
like, i get feeling like the expectations are too high-- there isn't any right way to be kānaka, &there are most definitely kānaka who are shitty about that-- but coming back with, "BUT THE HAOLES VALIDATE MY HAWAIIAN-NESS" is just fucking WILD, like i don't know how to explain to you the haoles thinking they have a right to validate fucking anything in relation to us&our struggle&our people is just...
blood doesn't matter, but obviously not in the way you seem to think, lmao.
#OOF these conversations never get any easier.#my heart BLEEDS for the family that deny themselves like this but im constantly having to accept that im not the right person to help lmao.#i absolutely know what its like to not be hawaiian enough lmao. from both other hawaiians AND haoles.#my thing is that while it may be more insulting to have blood be shitty what exactly do you think you as a person are saying#when you take more issue w that than w haoles thinking they have a right to gauge your relation to blood&culture?#why is THEIR ignorance something to be handwaved but from US&OUR expectations its a deadly sin#that justifies throwing us all under the bus&turning your back on the ppl you claim to be apart of?#of COURSE the haoles think your '''aloha spirit' is the real kine its the kine that accepts THEM w no expectations LMAO.#of COURSE the haoles think youre a '''good''' hawaiian-- are you NOT EMBARASSED about that?#like how can you possibly be so fucking deaf to the words coming out of your mouth i dont fucking understand.#arguing w US is more productive than learning from your kin&hearing what we have to say??? okay.#... for context someone i know was arguing that glofiying the murder of cooke contributes to savage stereotypes#associate w us&ultimately makes things more decisive by encouraging the idea that we're violent to any foreigners#&'''well i felt foreign the first time i went to see the islands bc thats how ppl made me feel&it wasnt fun for me'''#okay but why didnt you grow up where you were supposed to-- on those islands.#okay but why do you feel separated at all from a culture&ppl that are being forced more&more into the diaspora.#okay but why did you need to reconnect to us at all bc it wasnt any KANAKA who decided to fracture us all like this.#maybe instead of focusing on your own personal bad feelings you could put in a modicum of effort into understanding your kin#instead of rushing back to the open&loving haole arms who accept you as a REAL hawaiian bc us mean kanaks are being racist. :'(
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rat-nest · 1 year
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It's been nearly 6 months and Jasons OFA prelims STILL aren't posted im getting ready to kill
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talkorsomething · 2 days
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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nagdabbit · 1 month
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hello, i am in need of personal advice, preferably from a transfemme person and/or parent, who isn't siobhan because she is Too Close to the situation and i don't want to do anything brash like she does
#cis friend amy fakename and her wife betty fakename got divorced after betty came out and began to transition#they have remained EXTREMELY good friends and everything and coparent really well#amy came over tonight to talk to me about betty's behavior at present#theyve been seperated for just about three years now and betty began transitioning almost five years ago#and everything has been good between them#except amy found out from their seven y/o daughter cassie that bettys (married poly) gf stays over during her week with cassie#the kind of thing that wouldve been fine except that its out of the blue and amy had to hear it from a seven yo child#same with cassie going to a sleepover with a friend and finding out —again from cassie—that betty also stayed the night#and slept with one of cassie's friends moms#and apparently numerous other things that amy didnt want to get into so i get the feeling i would be even more pissed#but every time amy tries to discuss any kind of groundrules about strangers around cassie#especially ones that 1) any doesnt know anything about amd 2) are likely not permanent#betty says that she is being transphobic for asking that she doesn't just sleep with people while cassie is there and aware#i do not know how to like#help them#siobhan is firmly on amy's side and i am too#but i dont know what i can actually do thats helpful or actionable that wont hurt either of them#cuz i do believe that betty needs to have some boundaries when there is a CHILD involved#and a child tasked with keeping secrets at that#i just dont know how to support or how to talk to betty or if i even SHOULD cuz this is a new one for all of us#we created a lil family at the shop but somehow amy and betty are the only ones with kids#none of us know how to handle this cuz they dont know when to even ask us to do#if there is anything
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mx-paint · 1 month
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Seeing someone claim a book is "pro-genocide" and knowing that the part of the book they are referring to literally could not have a louder message of "anti-genocide" if it fucking tried.
#all bc they seemed to have come to the conclusion that the people that were saved. were 'russian coded'(???????????)#synopsis: a clan causes trouble and kills a lot of people but people fight them off and end it#the clain is now dispersed and the people that used to belong to that clan (this branch a notable group of doctors sick elderly & children)#and the only two that are relatively healthy (that are friends with mc and most notably helped him) are part of this branch#the branch gets put into a open air prison and are tortured and killed until the mc comes to help the remaining members#and then the remaining members (except for his adopted son and technically one of his friends who is now undead survives)#are all killed#so to recap the only remaining person from the clan is a child who doesnt even remember any of them except for his cousin and the mc#(the mc not being part of the clan)#and this person decided the best way to describe it. was to be pro genocide.#the clan. being the genociders? and the people that killed them out of war by hold them captive and torturing raping and murdering them.#were not.#.end synopsis#i think i know what they were trying to go for but to staunchly say that it was pro genocide and then also admitting that they support it.#its weird as shit 🙃#and i get where they were trying to come from. but they also made up a line from the novel to explain why they came up with this#like they said that 'every clan member thought the war to be nothing' was in the novel.#and the person that said this. was somebody that hated the clan (for good reason) and was mad about how easy it seemed for them#but for a novel thats key message is about how rumours can ruin somebodys life esp if they dont have anyone trying to help.#its. obvious they skipped the messaging and went right to assuming based off their own morals
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