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#i know that im not gonna be properly happy until im back at uni which isnt until july
jihypedforjihope · 3 years
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Remember the girl I already complained about twice on here? Well I finally came to the realization that I don’t deserve to be treated like that (aka like shit). I’ve chosen for myself and my own happiness and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
For context, I’ve known this girl (let’s call her Leo) for 4 years now, we met through uni cause we’re majoring in the same thing, we lived together for one year and now we have been living in the same building since February. Leo and I have always had a very toxic friendship but I didn’t realize it until a couple months ago. She’s manipulative and I don’t think she liked it when I made other friends. Because of this I have no social life in the city I’m currently living at (which is 2,5 hours away from my family by train). But I guess that had been Leo’s intention cause as long as I didn’t have any one else here I would have to stay with her. I made one other good friend here and she got driven away by Leo. She actually warned me two years ago that the friendship me and Leo had was unhealthy and toxic and I wish I would’ve listened to her cause she was fucking right. I miss her but I’m thinking of reaching out to her soon to see if she wants to get coffee with me.
Now for the shitshow that finally made me decide I don’t want to do this anymore. Two weeks ago I had to babysit Leo’s dog and cat cause she had to go home. I was already a bit apprehensive about this because I have a dog and a cat myself and the place I live at isn’t that big, definitely not big enough for 4 pets. Leo made me feel like I would be the shittiest friend ever if I didn’t do this for her so I agreed in the end. It was the worst two days of my life, I called my mom crying like 5 times. Her dog is a 7 month old German shepherd puppy and he hasn’t been trained that well. So when he came over he wouldn’t leave my own dog (a 9 month old stray dog) alone, he wanted to play the entire time but Leo never taught him when he’s biting too hard, my dog was yelping and bleeding within half an hour of the other dog being here. I was hoping that if I went for a long walk with them they would be tired enough to fall asleep after a while. Nope, little German shepherd doesn’t get walked a lot when he’s at home so my long walk just made him even more excited. Walking him is also a hell cause he’s really strong and stubborn and I’m not that big. This resulted in me getting pulled over and falling at least 6 times, once down the stairs. Now I’ve had dogs since I was like 13 and I watch a lot of Cesar Milan so I know this isn’t the dogs fault but the owner but my god I thought of hurting an animal for the first time in my life (I didn’t of course). To make matters worse this dog! doesn’t! shut! up! ever! He was squeaking and yelling all the time, to the point I had to apologize to the people living on my floor!
After the two days of hell, which ended in blood, sweat, many tears and a broken vase I decided to let Leo know that I wasn’t gonna be able to do this ever again. I send her a message explaining why I wouldn’t be able to do it again. A message in which I never put blame on her or her animals. All she could focus on was the fact that I apparently don’t think she raised her dog properly and told another friend of ours (I didn’t say it in those words, I just complained to that friend about the hell I went through the past two days). Now I apologized for that cause im not a bitch. BUT ITS NEVER ENOUGH FOR HER. I explained my side of the story, I apologized, I told her 5 times that I didn’t say it like that, let her know that it hurt me that I apparently can’t say anything to our mutual friend without her immediately telling Leo. But I’m the one in the wrong according to her cause I never apologized and just got mad at her. I didn’t get mad at all. I got mad at the end of our convo cause this is the shit she always does. Every single time we have an argument, it’s a hundred percent my fault, I get mad at her and don’t listen to her side and never apologize. Which isn’t true at all, she always blames everything on me, says it’s “whatever” when I apologize and then ignores me for a full week. I wasn’t gonna put up with that this time. So I told her that that’s what she always does to me and she just accused me of always making everything about me and that I don’t care about her feelings. It’s literally the other way around but oh well. We weren’t getting out of this argument without me saying sorry and letting her walk all over me again. But I said nah fuck that. I told her it might be better for us to not be friends for a little while, she agreed.
It’s now two weeks later, she hasn’t said a word to me other than to tell me she (finally) paid the money back she borrowed from me. Today I decided to unfollow and unfriend her on all my social media accounts and I couldn’t be happier. I feel like a huge weight has lifted of my chest. It sucks that I don’t know anyone in this city but I’m excited to get back to uni in September and make new friends. Until then I have my dog and my cat to keep me company and I don’t need anything else.
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vocallykaix · 6 years
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Lost and Found {4}
genre: mostly fluff, tad of angst??
requested: @tenjaehyunsehuntaemin
length: 2.4k words
pairing: Johnny Seo x Reader
summary: The best time of the week was the weekend when you can see your 4 year old niece but one close call led you to meeting a certain handsome man
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It had been a few months since you had first met Young Ho and you’d gotten so close you’d even surprised yourself, you’d always either be out around the park with Sun Hee watching Young Ho chase her around the fields or lounging around your place watching movies or finishing assignments you’d both left till last minute. Just in these last few months It had become routine to have Young Ho with you and you were worried how accustomed you’d gotten to his presence and how lonely you’d now feel when he wasn’t there, it would feel too quiet watching a movie on your own now and painfully boring to do your assignments in solitude.
Your time with Young Ho had mostly been great but you’ve lost count how many times your hangouts had been cut short by a phone call that makes him flee the scene every time. You’d tried asking about it but he’d always find a way to change the subject. It was clear to you whatever it was, he wasn’t planning on telling you any time soon. It made you feel uneasy, that there was something he was hiding but you didn’t think it was your place to demand to know, from your months with him you knew he was wonderful so it wasn’t that you thought he was a bad guy because he was far from it, it just the fact that he was so against talking about it making your curiosity bloom.
It was Thursday, 1pm when you got a text from a familiar contact
Young hoee :p - do you have plans for tonight?
Young hoee :p - wait it’s you of course you don’t, me and my friends are going to a night club later, you in?
You roll your eyes and scoff before typing back
(Y/n) >•< - first of all, rude but true and second idk, I haven’t met any of your friends
Young hoee :p - just trust me, they’re cool, isn’t your friend back from vacation now? Bring her
(Y/n) >•< - I’ll think about it
Young hoee :p - nope, see you at 8 ~
You shake your head, these uni boys only know how to party and now they’re dragging you into it, you don’t even think you have any night club kinda clothes.
You still had some time before you had to go to work so you decided to call Min Seo before you forgot. Her parents lived in London for most of her life and she just moved back here around 4 years ago and you’d always seemed to have the same classes so you became best friends by default but any chance they got they’d fly back over to England to see her grandparents who still lived there leaving you to wallow in your pity back here alone, well until you had Young Ho.
She picked up after the second ring and her yelling almost shattered your ear drum
“SHUT UP AND GET OUT! IM ON THE PHONE” she screamed
“Umm Min?” You move the phone away from your ear just in case but you were met with her usual soft voice
“Sorry, this family drives me up the bloody wall” she sighed
“Don’t be dramatic, how was England!?”
“It was so cold, but I loved seeming my grandparents? And What did I miss? I heard there’s a boy that’s taken my place?”
“How has he taken your place?” You laugh
“So there is a boy? You better spill the beans! Is he hot?”
“Very but that’s not why I’m calling you, he’s invited us both to go clubbing with his friends, can you come? Please say you can come?”
“Umm I’m not sure, I’ll ask my mom if she can take her little shits back, what time are we talking?”
“Get to my place around 7”
“Okay, I’ll text you when I know what’s happening”
“Okay, I better get ready for work, talk to you later”
“Later~” you hung up and hopped in the shower to get ready for work.
Working at a convenience store was indeed pretty convenient, it was a pretty laid back job that almost never caused any problems other then the odd drunk guys who go in to buy more alcohol on the way home so most days you would just sit behind the counter on your phone, you didn’t slack but there was just never much to do, so your shift passed pretty quickly
Min seo <33 - you still at work?
Y/N :3 - yup, five more minuets
Min seo <33 - I’ll pick you up on my way
Y/N :3 - this is why I love youuu ~
You packed up all your things and waited for Jungwoo, he always took the shift next to yours, he was a really nice guy and you were pretty close, he’d always say hi with a smile whenever you saw each other and you’d often go and get coffee together. He strolled in at 7 on the dot “ (y/n), how are you?” He smiled putting his things in to the locker
“Great now I can go home, how are you?”
“Amazing! My boyfriend is finally telling his parents about us” he was practically glowing, he’d always been telling you how much he’d love to freely date his boyfriend but his boyfriend hadn’t came out to his parents yet because his parents were religious, you had always been the one on the phone to him as he cried about how stressful the situation was becoming and at one point he was ready to call it all of if his boyfriend didn’t do something soon which you guess was what had led to his boyfriend telling his parents after a long year. In return he’d also act as your councillor with the boys you’d previously dated and would take you out when Min Seo was gone so overall Jungwoo was another pretty big part of your life.
“Jungwoo that’s so amazing! I’m so happy for you” you cheered
“Girl I know! But anyways how’s that Young Won guy treating you?” He smirked tying his apron on as you took yours of
“Young Ho, and he’s invited me and my friend to go clubbing tonight”
“For the love of god don’t get drunk and embarrass yourself” he said pointing at you, you shook you head and laugh.
A car beeped it’s horn outside and you saw Min Seo inside waving you over
“That’s my lift, I’ll see you later, make sure you tell me how it goes with his parents”
“Of course, see you later. don’t embarrass yourself” he sang as he waved.
You and Min Seo rush to your closet to try and make you look semi-decent for the night in the little time you had. You’d thrown half your closet across your room before deciding on a black off the shoulder shirt and a skirt that stopped mid thigh, Min Seo curled your hair while you did your make up,
“Not going to lie, I’d fuck you like that” Min Seo nodded looking you up and down through the mirror “I’m good at this” you rolled your eyes and slipped on your heels on
“They’ll be here in few minutes, quick pre drink?” You said jogging over to the kitchen and pulling a few bottles out
“How could I say no” Min Seo smirked.
Half a bottle of vodka later a knock at the door echoed through your small apartment, you walk over to the door and reveal Young Ho looking stupidly good again “you ready?” He said putting his hands in his jeans pocket “yup, care for a quick shot on the way out” you didn’t give him a chance to reply as you tugged him inside by his hand “here” you held out your shot glass now filled with the strong smelling vodka
“Have you guys already drunk half a bottle?” He laughed throwing the shot down his neck
“What’s a night out with out the pre drinks” Min Seo giggled already feeling a buzz “you better have some hot boys with you” she pointed slipping her jacket on
“I have plenty” he put the shot glass in your sink “where’s your coat?” He said turning to you
“It’s just by the door, I’m just gonna put this away” you nodded toward the bottles. You put them back where you found them making sure the lids were on properly and as you stood up you felt something being draped over your shoulders “come on” Young Ho wined securing the jacket on to your shoulders
“Thanks” you avert your eyes to the floor as he pushed you towards the door by your lower back.
You could feel the heat from your cheeks as you made your way to the taxi but it was dark so you were just preying they wouldn’t notice, it was such a simple, friendly gesture but because it was from Young Ho it made your stomach churn and it wasn’t the first time it had happened either. You were sure you were attracted to him but you weren’t sure how deep these feeling went and you didn’t want to get ahead of yourself and assume he felt the same way.
“The boys are already there” young Ho said looking down at his phone
“ is it weird I’m nervous to meet your friends?”
“Once you get a few more shots in you I’m sure you won’t be” he said wiggling his eyebrows.
The floor was vibrating from the strong bass of the music as you followed behind Young Ho weaving between the sweaty body’s until you saw someone run up to him “Johnny! What took you so long?” He slurred and laughed hitting him on the chest, young Ho sighed and turned to you
“(y/n), Min Seo this is Ten, Ten this is (y/n) and Min Seo”
“Ohh so your (y/n)! Johnny said th-“ young Ho quickly pulled him away and toward a group of boys sitting at the bar leaving you confused and curious as to what he’s been saying behind your back. the boys at the bar all yelled greetings to him and You slowly made your way over “Johnny please tell me this is the chick you brought” you look over to one of the boys with his eyes locked on to you
“Yes she is Jaemin” young Ho pulled you next to him and put his arm over your shoulders “this is (y/n), please don’t do anything stupid and make her uncomfortable” it was too late for that but you were happy he was trying,
They all laughed smirking at johnny who still had you under his arm
“Here” Min Seo came from behind you handing you a fruity looking drink
“And who is this” one of them asked
“Hi, I’m Min Seo” she spoke with a not so innocent smile
“Hi, I’m Yuta, do you wanna dance?” The same one asked holding out his hand which she gladly took and they both made their way to the dance floor
“Wow that didn’t take long” you sigh
“Yuta has always been a flirt, I’m Taeyong” the boy closest to you stuck his hand out for you to shake, they didn’t seem too bad.
There was 5 people that had come with young Ho, it was that Yuta guy who stole Min Seo, the other flirty one was Jaemin, the drunk one was Ten, the sensible one was Taeyong and the cute guy with dimples was yoon oh. They were pretty cool like Young Ho had promised and not long after you met them you were clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. They all worked at the Radio place with Young Ho except Jaemin who had just left school, he was still young and the boys weren’t letting him drink a lot.
“Want to dance?” Young Ho asked as the other boys talked
“Sure” you tip back the rest of your drink and followed young Ho through the crowed until he turned to you satisfied with the space. He placed a hand on your hip and you laced your hands around his neck as you both swayed to the beat of the song. You saw him say something but couldn’t make it out over the loud music “what?” You shouted, he said it again but you still couldn’t hear “I can’t hear you” you shouted and shrugged your shoulders, he rolled his eyes and went down to your ear
“I said are you enjoying yourself?” He talked into you ear and you could feel his hot breath on your neck before he pulled away laughing, you pulled him back “I’m having a great time, why do they call you Johnny?” You felt his neck vibrate as he laughed
“I used to live in America and that’s my name there, I use it when doing broadcasts to”
“Shall I start calling you Johnny?”you laughed
“No, Young Ho sounds good from you” he smiled
“why don’t you show me some of your moves anyway, mr DJ” You laugh releasing him and giving him some room. You wish you’d never asked, he was throwing his limbs around to his own rhythm while you doubled over laughing “stop! Your embarrassing” you laugh, he just raised his eyebrows and continued “ people are looking” you hold his arms and shake your head
“Didn’t you like it?” He pouted trying to hold his his laugh placing his hands back on you sides and continued to sway to the song
“No I did, I just think I should keep it to myself” you put you hands back on his neck and he was just looking at you, the smile on his face slowly dropping and his eyes went from your eyes to your lips. The mood changed so quickly you could barely tell what was going on, You blame the sudden surge of confidence on the alcohol but you pulled him down slowly and connected your lips, it was a still kiss, both of you testing the waters before pulling away
“How much have you had to drink?” He asked keeping close so your noses were still touching
“I know what I’m doing, Young Ho”
“Did you like it” he asked more quietly, you just smiled pulling him to reconnect you lips. This time the kiss was more rushed, both of your lips moving together as he pulled your waist into his, keeping his hands planted on your hips as you tightened you arms around his neck making him lean into you. He tasted delicious.
part: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6
a/n
heheh i know i’m evil for ending it like that but this is where this series will finally pick up, thank you for all of you that have been reading so far, i hope you continue to enjoy the series <333
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Joe & Ronnie
Toe dip
Joe: I'm back in town, you about? Ronnie: Bored of playing with yourself or just playing happy families, yeah? Ronnie: Fuck off Mckenna Joe: S'not an answer, is it Ron? Ronnie: mummy dearest ain't funding my jetsetting Ronnie: there's your answer Joe: Nor mine Joe: Thank you student loans Joe: Are you coming over? Or we playing hide and seek? Ronnie: snap your fingers at me again and see what happens to 'em Ronnie: fuck off you're better at that like Joe: Not like I wanted to Joe: Needs must Joe: Which is what I'm saying, obviously I'm good for it, not like I think you missed me or anything Ronnie: bullshit. you love it golden boy Ronnie: if you didn't wanna be there you'd have been here Joe: Love it so much I moved countries to breathe Joe: Love it so much I found you Joe: It ain't that simple, I can't get out their clutches that easy Ronnie: 'cause you're a sadist. just pay for some bitch to whip you or some shit like normal pervs who love the torture Ronnie: don't come crying to me about it Joe: Ain't like that either Joe: always got by on self-inflected tah Joe: you know I need you Ronnie: liar Ronnie: you need them Ronnie: and to fuck me as a fuck you to them Ronnie: it ain't about me Joe: no Joe: i HAVE them Joe: obligation Joe: and if that were it i'd have done it once and rubbed her nose in it Joe: more than sufficient to fuck her up, no? Joe: who knows if they'd even flinch, my brother and bea are basically married and that was family endorsed Joe: i'm fucked up, that's why i want you so bad, its as simple as that, you've always known that Ronnie: like i give a shit Ronnie: you ain't found any the bastards your da's bound to have dropped Ronnie: makes me the lucky one Ronnie: keep your crying that side of the plane ride, yeah? Ronnie: I'm not here to comfort you Joe: if you like Joe: even if they existed, doesn't mean they're gonna be the same as me Joe: more carbon copies of him, like the rest of 'em Joe: i don't want you to Joe: already got that covered, remember? Ronnie: i ain't the same as you Ronnie: different species baby Ronnie: you got everything and I got fuck all, remember? Joe: yet we still both ended up here Joe: its in our DNA Joe: both her parents were junkies Joe: rest is just circumstance Ronnie: Fuck you I make my own choices Ronnie: and it's not that deep Ronnie: It feels good, I do it Ronnie: blame her all you like but don't expect me to join the party Ronnie: nothing any of you do affects me, got it? Joe: You're old enough to know better than to give such a baby junkie cliche answer Joe: giving to charity and going for a daily constitutional 'feels good' too so I hear but I don't see you out there seizing life by the balls on those scores Joe: There are reasons we chose heroin over life, wanna rewatch seeing as you're feeling really basic about it today, like Ronnie: what i know is that nothing feels like heroin does, soft lad Ronnie: end of Joe: and there's reasons you know that by experience and not hearsay Joe: everyone knows that but everyone else is too content in their happy little lives to find out properly for themselves Ronnie: nobody's that content they're just that pussy Ronnie: scared they'll lose an arm or get riddled and whatever else they've seen on their tv Joe: Whatever Joe: same sin different name Joe: i'm not in your inbox to philosophize Joe: Someone got #deep in my absence Ronnie: take it to church Ronnie: a priest'll be happy to suck you off Ronnie: if you don't like what happens when you go stop leaving Joe: ha, i'm not that young, you know? Joe: my prime is behind me Joe: want me to be the cliche now Joe: say never again? Joe: 'cos I wish it could be true but you know, no broken promises Ronnie: just a crybaby, yeah? I know Ronnie: I don't want to hear any of your bullshit Ronnie: grow a pair mckenna Joe: then stop talking Ronnie: step up and make me Ronnie: you know where i am Joe: are the others about Joe: charlie, mainly Joe: i can't be bothered to be fake to or for my fam for another second and you know he loves them Ronnie: that cunt's down the job centre he'll be longer than I can stand you Joe: just mad 'cos your six-month ban is still in effect Joe: just come over ron Joe: please Joe: i don't want to risk seeing anyone else, i only wanna see you Ronnie: you begging now? Ronnie: that's why you gotta stay away from that lot Joe: thought i'd try it this way before going straight to kidnap Joe: gotta give a lady options Ronnie: try scoring you owe me Joe: done Joe: wait 'til i'm past security don't fancy the cavity search Ronnie: don't knock it 'til you've tried it Ronnie: they might take the gear but they'll show you a good time Joe: of course you'd endorse it, already know you're all about them good feelings Joe: like i said, only got time for you Joe: hopeless romantic Ronnie: hopeless twat Ronnie: trying to make me vom again like Joe: can't blame a boy for trying Joe: get you off your A game=more junk for me Ronnie: still a selfish bellend then Joe: 'Course Joe: you'd never do the same, like Ronnie: if i had gear or money for it i wouldnt be wasting my time on you and this convo Joe: N'awwh Joe: nice to be needed Ronnie: you can try begging for it again Ronnie: worked so well before Joe: knew you loved it really Joe: pretty please with smack on top, hey Ronnie: fuck off Joe: so soon? Joe: just landed baby Ronnie: you left me for dead baby im not gonna wait there rattling a sign Joe: don't Joe: i gave you money, and told you to ask for more if you ran out Joe: what more could i do? Ronnie: not fucking choose them over me Joe: i didn't, haven't, won't Joe: no choice involved, until i literally fucking off myself i have to keep them in the loop i'm still breathing, they won't be satisfied 'til then, like Ronnie: you don't care if that I ain't. good thing the dealers a better fuck and provider than you 'cause my pain's nothing for theirs Ronnie: all such fucking momma's boys Joe: bullshit Joe: you get me every other day of the year Joe: whenever you want me Joe: it was one weekend to show i've got a heartbeat and bounce, that's all it is to me, i don't care if it makes them feel better, just secondary Joe: i'm thinking about you and how you are the whole time Joe: i can't think about nothing else Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: you're never around Ronnie: uni and orchestra and whatever the fuck else Ronnie: stop acting like you give a shit Joe: gotta get money somehow and music keeps me as sane as i've ever been, it's all i had before i had you so I'm not just going to drop it, 'cos you get that too Joe: you just want to be proved right but you're not Joe: you can't push me away and shut me out Joe: sorry about it Ronnie: you're the one who's wrong about everything Ronnie: trying to make this something this ain't Ronnie: a fucking love story or some shit Ronnie: I hate you and I'm not sorry about it Joe: understandable Joe: not the only one Joe: you rather it was a sob story? Joe: don't think so Ronnie: I don't want any story I just want you to get the fucking picture Joe: i'm not very visual, sorry Joe: pick up a guitar Ronnie: You'd love that. a love song. get fucked Joe: looks like you're stuck then Joe: you think you'd try harder if you hated me THAT much Joe: hmm Ronnie: you're the try hard that ain't me Joe: glad you think so Joe: it takes all of me to be this subpar Ronnie: Shut up and get to your place I need my hit Joe: in the taxi Joe: pray you've been good enough to warrant no traffic Ronnie: you sound like your catholic dad Ronnie: is that meant to turn me on? Joe: rather it didn't frankly Joe: but that'd just give you reason to say it did so Joe: you do you Ronnie: sick fuck Joe: no arguments here Ronnie: I'm gonna kick the door in if you're not here in 5 Ronnie: your neighbours are nosey cunts Joe: did you lose your key again? Joe: they're mostly students...so they're either green and wouldn't say boo to a goose let alone you, or stoned enough themselves not to care Ronnie: fuck's sake Joe: kick the door down if you wanna, love keeping the locksmiths in business, you Joe: lost that deposit months ago anyway Ronnie: moneybags mckenna Ronnie: should've done uni like Joe: not to late, job centre will pay for it Joe: good on their books, good on your wallet Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: can't get a degree in dope Joe: nah, but you can get a degree in almost everything else Joe: music, whatever Ronnie: prodigy privilege Joe: you don't have to be 'good' Joe: you are anyway Joe: just a thought Joe: not working on commission here Ronnie: I know like 3 chords you daft cunt Ronnie: flattery is fucking useless Joe: they teach you most of it, half my class couldn't play a triangle, you could do theory or producing anyway or set design...list goes on Joe: i'm not aiming for flattery, just how i feel Ronnie: there's easier ways to fulfil your schoolgirl fantasy Ronnie: keep your feelings to yourself Joe: sure, you offering? Ronnie: yeah if you beg me Joe: won't even stop to say hello dearest Ronnie: fuck it then why not Joe: hooray Joe: missed you Ronnie: prove it Joe: on it
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