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#i know she wants me to go to the gym because she wants me to be healthier
maxsimagination · 1 day
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can you make a Alanna Kennedy fic ?
𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙞𝙩 - 𝙖.𝙠𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙙𝙮
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warnings: none
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it was that time of the year again.
while most would think of christmas, as a footballer, your first thought is national team call ups.
i wasn’t old by any means, only 21 years old, but i still hadn’t had my first cap.
most of my teammates at manchester knew, especially alanna. both of us were australian, the only difference being that she’d been playing for the matilda’s years longer than i had.
it was a training day today, an early start so i was driving down to my favourite coffee shop before reaching the fields.
“yn!!”
i heard a familiar voice shout after i’d hopped out of my car in the parking lot.
“lani!!”
i knew it was the blonde waiting for me at the entrance, just like she did every morning.
we walked in together, joining the rest of the girls before the coaches called us all out onto the pitch to start training. it was a solid session today, most of the team sweating profusely at the end. gareth had us running drills for at least two hours before we had another hour rest then back in the gym for weights.
finally we were finished and all the girls walked out, so ready to head home. i was walking to my car when alanna sauntered up behind me and jumped into my car with me.
“lani why are you in my car? you have your own car and house.”
i laughed at her antics but she simply grinned at me.
“well, my dear yn. i don’t have my car here today, mary drove me in. and i want to go to your house, it has a cat.”
i should’ve known she wanted to come to see marley. i’d adopted her a year ago when i signed for city and moved to england to play. alanna was the first person i met and had helped me move into my apartment.
marley had taken an instant liking to the tall blonde defender, which had surprised me and alanna. she usually wasn’t keen on people and lani was usually a dog person.
but every time she got the chance lani would tag along to see marley, never missing the chance to see her favourite feline. and she brought cat treats with her.
when we reached my place, marley was right there waiting at the door when we got in. alanna reached down to pick her up, cradling the purring cat to her chest. i laughed at the two, they were the cutest thing i had to get a picture.
the three of us spent that afternoon and evening doing some cleaning, cooking some dinner and watching netflix. and by we i mean me, while the other two sat on the couch and waited for me to finish so they could watch the netflix too.
it was roughly 07:00 pm when my phone rang. i answered, not thinking much of it.
“yn? this is tony gustavsson. how are you?”
i froze for a second, my brain not believing what my ears were hearing.
“yea hi tony i’m good, what can i do for you?”
“well, as you know it’s almost international break, and i’ve yet to select the team for the matilda’s. i would like to personally offer you a place on the squad.”
i sat in silence for a solid minute before i remembered i had to respond.
“you’re joking.”
“i can assure you i’m not.”
tony could tell i was astounded, laughing at how unbelieving i was.
“you want me to play for the matilda’s?”
“yes.”
“oh my god. thankyou.”
“thankyou, yn. i’ll let that sink in for you. have a good night.”
he hung up the call, thank goodness, because i was stunned into a statue. alanna had been comfortably sitting on the couch with marley the whole time when she noticed how shocked i was.
“are you okay?”
i nodded, just needing a bit longer to process things.
“i got the call up.”
alanna snapped her head up.
“no. please don’t tell me you’re joking.”
“i’m not joking. tony just called me.”
it was then that we both broke into squeals and laughter. i was so excited and ecstatic, i couldn’t believe i was getting my first ever national team call up.
“you did it.”
“we did it, lani.
couldn’t have done it without you.”
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ladykailitha · 12 hours
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Batshit Soulmates Part 6
The second one today. I'm trying to get through my backlog because I have almost twenty chapters that are finished and ready to be posted. And that isn't counting the fact that with my daily goal of 400 words a day, I'm definitely going to have more than that the longer it takes for me to post.
This here is my schedule for the next two weeks, but as I said, since I'm always writing, that "return to one chapter a day" on the 11th? That's probably a pipe dream. So I might end up adding a fourth day to my posting schedule so that I can at least put out a chapter a week for each of my WIPs.
We'll see.
For this chapter we have fun times at the Wheelers (heavy sarcasm), that talk and a cliffhanger? Yeah, a cliffhanger.
In Medias Res| Prologue|Pt 1| Pt 2|Pt 3|Pt 4|Pt 5|
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They had been traveling awhile when Eddie decided to get the lay of the land by getting higher.
Which was great in theory until he saw the vast expanse of...shit he didn’t even know how to describe it other than evil. And it stretched as far as he could see.
He turned around to get back down when Nancy called out.
“Don’t step on the vines!”
Eddie froze. “Uh what now?”
“They’re connected to the Upside Down,” she said with a huff.
Eddie looked to Steve to translate.
“They’re part of a hive mind,” Steve explained. “You step on a vine and basically you’re stepping on Vecna and basically everything else in this hell hole.”
“Shit!” Eddie hissed as he tried to come up with a way to get down without waking up the whole Upside Down to their presence.
“I was thinking that now would probably be a good time to get my guns,” Nancy murmured.
Eddie finally decided that fuck it, he was just going to by pass all the vines jump down.
He landed deftly on his feet and as he pulled up his jeans a little he said, “You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns at your house? Guns as in plural?”
Robin pointed excitedly at her. “I know, isn’t she bad ass?”
“I have a Russian pistol,” Nancy said with a cock of her head, “and a revolver.”
Steve huffed out a laugh. “You almost shot me with that one.”
Nancy smiled back and with a teasing lilt to her voice replied, “And you almost deserved it.”
TWAP!
Steve stepped back with the force of a denim vest being thrown in his face. He looked up at Eddie in shock.
“For your modesty, dude.”
Steve looked down at the vest in confusion. “Wha–”
Just then there was great big roar and the ground shook. Robin tumbled into Eddie and Steve barely managed to catch Nancy before elbowed him in the side.
Steve and Nancy were able to keep on their feet but Robin and Eddie fell to the ground.
Eddie looked at Robin and then back at where the noise came from.
“Guns are really starting to sound good right now,” Eddie muttered.
Robin looked back at him and nodded. “Oh yeah.”
Eddie was rubbing his shin as Robin’s heel had kicked it on her way down but his brain turned off when he saw Steve walk by as he pulled on Eddie’s vest.
Shit. He had miscalculated on that one. He hadn’t wanted Nancy Wheeler to ogle his soulmate but he didn’t take in the fact on how hot Steve would look wearing his battle vest. He only barely managed to help Robin to her feet before he was hoping forward to catch up with Steve.
His little lizard brain lighting up with, “Hot boy! Must follow hot boy now,” as his feet danced around the vines to be by Steve’s side.
And just maybe Steve wanted it too, because as Eddie fell in step next to him, Steve blushed and ducked his head.
Eddie grinned up at him as they made their way through the darken forest of the Upside Down.
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Eddie kept looking over at Steve, who was looking like he had merely taken a tumble in gym instead of being eaten alive.
And yeah that was hot, it was also worrying as fuck. Eddie was starting to think that maybe Steve wasn’t a dick, the dude was just traumatized.
Robin and Nancy walked slower behind them to give them some privacy. Finding your soulmate in the middle of the end of the world, again, sucked.
“Hey, I wanted to thank you for saving my ass back there,” Steve said, softly.
Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “You saved your own ass, man. What you did there was very Ozzy.”
“Who?” Steve asked, confused.
“Ozzy Osborn? Black Sabbath?” Eddie prompted. Steve’s confusion only deepened. “He bit the head off a bat on stage.”
“Wha?” Steve said, rearing his head back. “I don’t know you’re talking about.”
Eddie smiled faintly. “It’s okay. All I was saying that that was a very metal thing you did back there.”
“And metal is...good?” Steve asked, unsure.
Eddie chuckled. “Very.”
“Thanks,” Steve said, grateful the dirt and grim of the Upside Down hid his blush.
They walked on for a few moments in silence. “I was so jealous of you, by the way.”
Steve reared back his head. “Me? Why?”
“Dustin talks about you all the time, man,” Eddie said. “Like all the time. Never shuts up about you, in fact. The kid worships the ground you walk on. Called you a badass on more than one occasion.”
Steve scoffed. “Dustin thinks I’m badass?”
“Oh, yeah,” Eddie said thoughtfully. “I think I just couldn’t accept that Steve Harrington was a good dude, you know? Rich parents, popular, good with girls, not a douche? There was no way. It just flies in the face of life, the universe, and everything. Including my very own Munson doctrine.” He twisted the rings on his fingers nervously.
Steve reached out and gently took his hand.
Eddie took a deep breath and let out it slowly. “I’m still jealous because you’re the real deal. I’m learning that outside DnD, I’m no hero. I see danger and I turn and run. Or at least that’s what I discovered about myself this week.”
Steve squeezed his hand. “Hey, give yourself a break. There was nothing you could have done about Chrissy, okay?”
Eddie let out a shuddering sigh. “The truth is that if those two ladies hadn’t dived in after you, I would still be up in that boat. I don’t know how you managed to get the loyalty of two of the smartest girls in school, especially with one of them being your ex, but holy shit dude. Nancy just dived in no hesitation.”
But before Steve could answer another rumble ripped through the Upside Down.
“Jesus!” Steve hissed as Eddie said, “Here we go again!”
They clutched each other as they struggled to remain on their feet. Steve looked up at Eddie and his breath stopped in his chest, tightening like a vice.
They were so close that Steve could taste their mingled breathes. He yearned to just lean forward and–
Robin tapped his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get to Nancy’s before another quake hits us.”
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When they got to Nancy’s room, their hope for salvation turned to ash like the dust falling from the sky.
“What do you mean they don’t exist?” Eddie hissed.
Nancy looked like she was going to cry. “The Upside Down is stuck in 1983. Most likely the day Will vanished and I didn’t get my guns until after.”
Even Robin looked disappointed at not being about to see Nancy’s guns.
It truly seemed like all was lost when Steve suddenly stopped.
“Holy shit!” he cried. “Can you hear that?”
Nancy and Robin shared a glance.
“Hear what?” Nancy asked.
“Dustin!” Steve said happily. “I can hear Dustin! And Lucas! And Max!” He giggled.
“It’s like they in the walls!”
Eddie grimaced. The pain must be really getting to the guy if he was hallucin–
But then he could hear it too. Steve and Eddie shared a look and they turned, booking it for the door.
They thundered down the stairs and they noticed the golden light glittering around the chandler.
But now the girls could hear the kids too. It sounded like they were in trouble.
All four them were drawn to the light. It was warm and comforting. And god, Eddie couldn’t stop touching the light.
“It’s warm,” he muttered.
The other three reached up and touched the glittering glow. Steve and god, how Steve seemed to watch to reach out to him as well.
“Does anyone know Morse code?” Nancy asked, trying to figure out how to communicate with the right side up.
Steve shook his head and even Robin wasn’t clueless.
Eddie licked his lips. “Um...does SOS count?”
Nancy nearly screamed at him, but let Eddie do his thing. They managed to communicate with Dustin, Erica, and Max, who had somehow gotten themselves under house arrest. Or whatever the hell the cops wanted to call keeping children against their will.
They managed to find a way to communicate with them through Holly’s LiteBrite. And so Dustin rambled at a million miles per hour about gates and murders and Vecna.
“Does anyone understand what he’s talking about?” Nancy asked.
Everyone shook their heads. So she simply sent back a single question mark.
“How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys trust me?” Dustin screamed.
Steve sighed. “Jesus Christ, this kid has to get his ego in check.”
Eddie leaned over so that he could talk to Steve around Nancy.
“It’s his tone, right?” Eddie asked.
“Yes!” Steve agreed, happy that he had someone who understood what a menace Dustin was at the best of times.
Basically it boiled down to needing to get to the nearest gate. Eddie’s trailer.
“Which great and all,” Eddie huffed. “But let me tell you, Forest Hills is no easy walk from here.”
Nancy looked around at them like they were stupid. “The kids left their bikes here. There should be four of them in the garage.”
Steve rolled his eyes. But they all dutifully followed her out to the garage.
The bikes were tiny. God, are they minuscule. They all climbed onto the bikes and rode all the way to the trailer park.
And if Eddie hung back to watch Steve’s ass all the way there... fuck you, no he didn’t. The view didn’t hurt, though.
They made it his trailer and they laid down the bikes in front of it. Eddie began to shake. Frozen in fear. He couldn’t go back in there. They couldn’t make him.
They could find another ga–
Suddenly there was a warm hand on his shoulder. “I know you don’t want to go in there. But we need to get back to the Right Side Up, breathing the shit down here isn’t good for you.”
Eddie gulped, but nodded.
“I’ll be right beside you,” Steve continued softly. “If you need to, take my hand.”
Eddie instantly latched on to Steve’s hand as he led the group into the Upside Down version of Eddie’s home.
He stumbled a bit as he saw the great, big, red, pulsating...wound.
“Shit!” he whispered, a little awed and a lot scared. “That’s where she died. Like right where she died.”
Steve squeezed his hand gently. “I’m sorry, Eds. We just need to find a way to contact the kids and get us out of here, okay?”
Eddie looked around at his home and just wanted to cry. Nothing was where it was supposed to be and yet exactly where it was supposed to be. And that really fucked with his head.
Nancy looked up at the gate. “It’s too high. There’s no way we can get to it without help.”
Steve and Robin looked around trying to see it there was something that could be used to pry it open from below.
Eddie knew he should help them. He knew where things were kept. But he just couldn’t move. All he could do was stare up at that red wound in his ceiling pulsating with a sick twisted form of life.
Just then something poked through it and Eddie screamed. He didn’t mean to, but the sound had escaped his mouth before he even knew what it was.
What it was when Steve got him calmed down enough to actually see it, was a shovel.
It didn’t make him feel any better, until that curly little mop of hair stuck through the now decent sized hole in the ceiling.
“Henderson!” he cried in relief.
“There you are!” Dustin called back. “Do you think that you guys can work it open from your end while we work it open from our end?”
“Is everyone okay?” Steve asked.
“Yeah, we’re fine,” Dustin said. “Let’s get you guys out of there, okay?”
Between them, they were able to get the Gate open and a mattress set up to catch their fall.
“What are those stains?” Robin sneered.
Eddie looked up at them and licked his lips. “I, um... I don’t know what they are, honestly.”
Robin’s lip curled. “Gross.”
The truth was that Eddie really didn’t know. He had gotten it used a couple of years ago when his old mattress fell apart. They could have been there from its previous owner for all he knew.
“So who’s going up first?” Steve asked.
“Not you, pretty boy?” Eddie teased.
Steve blushed. “I want to make sure everyone else gets up there okay.”
Robin eyed the sheet rope and then said, “I’ll go.”
Steve nodded and watched carefully as Robin scaled the rope. She flipped around and landed on the mattress with a flomf!
Dustin helped her to her feet.
“That was quite fun actually.”
Back in the Upside Down, Eddie looked at Nancy and Steve, but neither one moved, so he shrugged. “I guess that means I’m next.”
This was Eddie’s least favorite part of gym, climbing rope ladders. He didn’t ever see the point. Though getting detention for pointing out it was part of the military industrial complex was one of his best days in that class, so...
Up he went. It wasn’t that he couldn’t climb the damn thing, he just loved ranting about having to.
“Okay, Nancy,” Steve said. “You’re next.”
But she didn’t answer. Steve turned to her but she was just standing there. He called out to her again.
“Nancy?”
Eddie’s head immediately popped back over the gate. “Shit!”
Steve shook her shoulders, but she remained immobile.
No, no, no, no...
Not Nancy!
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tiyoin · 2 days
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Now I'm thinking about twisted anxiety reader being able to sing really well. I feel like there could be some very interesting/funny moments (4 us not reader).
Reader probably only sings in a reclusive area like a forest around the dorm
I wanna say that the forest already has haunting rumors about it ,and when someone (jade or rook) hears reader singing they think that the "ghost" is up and active again. So students start doing a "test of courage" type thing.
I put Jade or Rook being the one to hear reader cuz they're really the only ones that would really be in that area without a reason.
I also know they're intelligent enough to know it's not a ghost ,but start the rumor anyways cuz they want to know who's singing. And it becomes this big thing the school trying to figure out.
Cut to reader losing her mind cuz she like "wow, I didn't know people thought it was that bad. How am I supposed to live, laugh, love ever again??"
When in reality they were just memorized by reader's singing. And they really want to find out who it is.
Bonus points if they film it and sent it to the group chat you posted about earlier. And reader just has to be like 🧍‍♀️ "whattt???? No way!! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ a random voice in the woods 😱😱"
I'm sorry for sending 2 long asks back 2 back ,but twisted anxiety just gets my head going.
Also if you don't like being sent stuff like this just tell me and I won't send any more. I don't want to over step at all. These are just like head cannons I give to reader ,cuz I just love making things worse for her. Can't let her know what peace is
YOU
hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HEAD 🫵
i’m going to give you the fattest smooch alive you don’t understand. AND I LOVE IT WHEN I GET LONG ASKS!!! so please! ask away i don’t mind, i actually get really flattered that people want to share with me their long, detailed thoughts !! i was actually nervous people wouldn’t like my long responses 😖
no cause that’s ALWAYS one troupe i ALWAYS go back to.
i was thinking about making them a singer, REALLY I WAS- but i had second thoughts cause i thought people wouldn’t like it / maybe people would think its too… y-nie or im trying to make twisted anxiety reader too much, ya know
BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU MEAH MWAH (also dw i got your other ask and fully plan on answering it, this one was just at the top of my inbox 🫶🫶)
but oh my god,,,, HEAR ME OUT;
twisted anxiety reader getting pent up because they. have. no. outlet.
none.
maybe they played a sport in their old world, but no longer can’t because seriously?? going up against beastmen, mermen, fae and just,,, men?! absolutely not.
they can’t do anything fun in ramshackle because of the ghosts can and will find a way to stick their noses into your business. also hello??? no privacy at ramshackle👎👎
honestly, twisted anxiety reader doesn’t have any friends so they can’t blow off steam that way either. and going to the gym is out of the question because 1. anxiety 2.gym bros- and working out at home is… different.
so there has to be a way to let off steam… good thing twisted anxiety reader dilly dallied in everything!!
they want to sing but aren’t confident enough to join the pop music club, and the walls to ramshackle are paper thin.
there’s absolutely no where you can go.
and yet… every time you glance at the forest. you can’t help but wonder…🤔
AND IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED READER SINGING
“everything stays” from adventure time
“love all mine” by mitski
“rises the moon” by liana flores
“sky fall” by adele
“memory” from cats
“listen” by beyoncé
“hopelessly devoted” by olivia newton-john
oh my god i have to make a separate post for this before i completely rot and accidentally write a whole chapter because i’ve been WAITING to write about this and i’d feel bad about making this SUPER LONG
but i can’t imagine rook going for a sunset “hike” (…sure, let’s go with that) and hearing you. belting your little heart to “hopelessly devoted” HAGFJAIWOFOSOWOFOAPEIFOZOQFOXOD
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ROOK IS AWE STRUCK
such passion! such devotion! how marvelously beautiful! rook is stunned.
of course after you finish singing he can hear you moan and groan about trivial things but- rook hunt was not a hunt if he didn’t appreciate the gift the forest provided.
and yet, the carful hunter made a careless mistake. cursing silently, he glared at the twig his boots stepped on before he snapped his head up to the clearing up ahead.
ah, you fled.
to say rook was… upset was an understatement. yes he was able to marvel in your voice, but he lost the privilege to listen to more, to observe from afar.
the strange songs you sang and possibly wrote (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him) are gone with the wind and the high step of your foot as you vanished into thin air.
rook could easily hunt you down, but he stopped himself after a slight muscle twitch. non non! he was the enjoyer of beauty! not the hunter! yes he hunted beauty but it would go against his very being to trap it instead of let it fly free and continue its song.
so let this be your little secret, okay.
jade would def walk into you singing ‘everything stays’
OR OR ROOK N JADE BOTH TAG TEAMING READER IN THE CHAT SAYING HOW THEY WISH TO MEET THIS BEAUTIFUL VOICED GOREST ‘NYMPH’ SO THEY CAN HEAR MORE OF THEIR SONGS
readers just like;
😟
“time to find a new location☝️”
*there’s no where those two won’t be able to find you fyi*
TWISTED ANXIETY READER WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE‼️‼️ NOT AS LONG AS IM HERE‼️‼️
please send more headcanons i love reading them 🙇🏻🙇🏻
babes this is me n u rn:
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therealcocoshady · 14 hours
Text
Recovery - Chapter 33
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Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction
Summary : Reader finally moves to Detroit with Marshall and gets used to living with him and getting to know him even better. She is on cloud nine... Until she learns she's going to meet someone special.
Tags : Fluff - Smut - Bit of angst
Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️
Y/N’s POV 
After you finally landed in Detroit, you spent almost two days sleeping, trying to fight the jetlag. Marshall seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, probably because he was so used to traveling. You, on the other hand, were really suffering from it and it wasn’t only affecting your sleep schedule, on the rare occasions you were awake, you also had trouble focusing, which did not help you get reacquainted with the house. You didn’t think you would have much trouble settling in, since you had spent so much time there before moving back to Paris, but actually moving in with your boyfriend was a bit different : you had to learn where everything was located and you got familiar with Marshall’s quirky ways, like how he organized the pantry and his weird tidying up habits, that were really different from yours. Also, you hadn’t really thought about the fact that you might feel ill-at-ease in the house, but it was definitely the case. Your boyfriend was incredibly welcoming and made a point of saying that it was your house too, but it didn’t feel like it. Every piece of furniture reminded you of the fact that he had lived there for about twenty years and had lived a full life in it before you were in the picture. You weren’t jealous per se, but it felt weird, like you were starting from scratch and he was already on level 20. So far, the corner you managed to claim as yours was the bedroom, probably because you spent so much time sleeping and fighting off jet lag. On the third day, though, you managed to wake up at a decent time and found Marshall training in the home gym. The sight of him bare chested and all sweaty doing some push ups was definitely a nice way to start your day. 
Hey sleeping beauty, he said as he got up to kiss you. Didn’t expect to see you awake until a couple of hours at least. 
I think I’m starting to run on american time again, you giggled. You know, if I had known I’d see this in the morning, I would have fought the jet lag harder… 
Just got back to it today, he chuckled. Gotta start training back, after all that pasta in Italy. You don’t want me to get all chubby, now, do you ? 
I wouldn’t mind, you said as you ran your hand over his stomach. The more of you the better. 
How about you help me shower ? He asked with a smirk. You’ll get to see more of me. 
Are you really propositioning me this early in the morning, Marshall ? 
Haven’t seen much of you for three days, you know, he chuckled. 
Now I wonder how you managed for six months, you giggled. 
Not going to lie, it was hard. Pun intended. Are you coming or what ? 
Actually, your man having his way with you in every room and against every single piece of furniture did a great job helping you feel at home in the house. In the following days, you spent a lot of time doing each other but not getting much else done. After a while, though, you decided to finally unpack the few things you had taken with you. To be fair, it wouldn’t take too long and your things would not take much space either, seeing as you only had the bare essentials. You might as well start a blog on minimalism, at this rate. At least, you wouldn’t spend too much time choosing what to wear, your options being somewhat limited. 
Last chance to reconsider this whole me moving in thing, you said playfully as you opened your suitcase. 
Not a chance, he chuckled before kissing your cheek. 
Do you think you can spare a drawer in your closet for my stuff ? You asked. 
No need, he shrugged. You can have a whole closet. The house came with his and hers. 
Fancy, you giggled. Although, I would have thought your centipede ass would have taken over the second one for your sneakers… 
I did, he chuckled. But I freed up the space the day after we arrived, while you were sleeping like a baby. 
You’re the best. Although we can definitely share the space, I literally only need a drawer, you said as you pointed to your suitcase. 
I guess you’re going to have to shop, he said with a smile. 
I will, when I have a job, you said. 
Why wait ? He asked. 
Money, you shrugged. 
He rolled his eyes and handed you his credit card. You looked at him without taking it, waiting for him to put it back in his pocket. He stared back, not moving. It was like a silent argument. He had told you before that he was intent on taking care of you in every way possible, but you had your pride and there was no way in hell that you would shop with his hard earned money. You were already moving into his giant house, coming back from an expensive holiday in Europe that he had paid for, wearing a watch and a bracelet that, combined, probably cost more than what you had made in the past year. 
Just take it, he finally said. 
Put that back, you said. I can wait. 
You barely have enough clothes to go through a washing cycle, he pointed out. 
I’ll just borrow yours, then, you playfully retorted. Or walk around naked. But I am not taking advantage of your money. 
I kind of like the idea of having you walk around the house naked, he replied with a smirk. And you know I love it when you wear my stuff. But seriously, you don’t have to be so noble. It’s no big deal. 
I’m not a kept woman. And there is no way I will act like a trophy girlfriend and have you pay for my stuff. All of this is already too much, you said as you gestured around you. 
Technically, it would benefit me too, you know ? He pointed out. I like undressing you. Let’s not underestimate the importance of wrapping paper around the present… 
And what would the ideal wrapping paper look like ? You asked. 
Lingerie, obviously, he giggled. I like the lacy stuff. Can I confess something ? 
Go ahead, you chuckled. 
You know, the black lace bodysuit you wore in the picture that leaked last year ? He asked. It drove me absolutely crazy. I deleted the picture, out of respect for you, but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been in a few dreams of mine. 
Oh really ? You asked playfully. Too bad I don’t have it anymore. 
You have no idea what I would do to you if I saw you wear this thing, he said. 
I’ll put it on my list, then, you said with a wink. 
Or you could buy it right now, he said as he waved his card in front of your face. As a congratulation present for the album’s success ? Or early Christmas ? And let’s not forget that Thanksgiving is just around the corner, so, really… 
You couldn’t help but giggle. He reminded you of a kid asking their parents for a new video game. He was making puppy eyes at you, batting his eyelashes and whispering “please, please, please ?”. You rolled your eyes and ended up caving in. “Fine, you said. Only lingerie, though.”, you mumbled. Without a second of hesitation, he grabbed your iPad. For someone who often played dumb when it came to technology, he was incredibly proficient. In a couple of seconds, he had ten tabs open on various lingerie websites. He had a fancy taste in lingerie and definitely had a lot of ideas on what he would like you to wear, leading you to think he had given it some thought for a while. What initially started in a search for one lacy black bodysuit ended up in Marshall adding tons of things to the cart because “shipping is an ecological disaster so you might as well make the most of it”. At some point, you were sure that there were less items in a full Victoria’s Secret fashion show and you hoped for his sake that he had invested in Agent Provocateur, because the bill was going up insanely fast, with each click. He seemed like a kid in a candy store and was absolutely unstoppable. 
Babe, I don’t think I need a bodychain that looks like a butterfly, you pointed out with a giggle. 
I like accessories, he chuckled. 
They do have beautiful things, you admitted. Like, those rose gold rope handcuffs… 
You’re into that ? He asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 
No, you said shyly. I mean, yes, but… well… 
No need to blush, he said. I’m adding these to the cart. Just in case… Oh, look, they have a matching choker. 
When you thought you were done, once the order was placed, he started arguing that you would need at least one pair of heels to go with it, just to complete the look and you didn’t even have time to answer before he started browsing Louboutin’s website. At that point, trying to reason with him was a lost cause. Plus, if you were honest, he did have good taste. 
You realize you just spent the equivalent of the gross domestic product of some countries, simply on stuff you want to ravish me in, right ? You pointed out. 
As a businessman, I’d say it’s an investment, he said with a smirk. 
As a rational person, I’m tempted to ask how this little investment would bring some actual profit, you giggled. 
That’s actually really simple, he said. That’s an investment in our relationship, which is important to my work-life balance, hence my creativity. 
Almost a fair point, you conceded. 
Plus, I think I could base a whole album on your body and all the things I’m doing to you once we receive that package, he chuckled. So if it goes well, it might pay for our next vacation… 
I swear to God, Marshall, if I hear one reference to our sex life in a song… 
One ? He said with a grin. Babe, it’ll be at least four or five… 
I’m serious, you said sternly. 
We’ll see, he replied with a wink. 
You thoroughly enjoyed having Marshall with you while you got used to the house. It was a far cry from your fancy holidays in Europe. Of course, discovering cities, eating at restaurants and staying at luxury hotels was nice, but this felt more real, more domestic. You also liked the fact that, in spite of his obvious wealth, the house had an actual family feel to it, far from what a lot of real people showcased on Instagram or Architectural Digest videos. The place was actually lived in, filled with memories and it had a nice vibe to it. Most people probably wouldn’t expect one of the world’s most famous rappers to live in a place like this, but once you got to know Marshall, it sort of made sense. The house was secluded and located in a gated community - for obvious reasons - and it was impressive in size, for sure, but it wasn’t flashy by any means. The furniture was all about quality but unassuming, with a nice cozy feel to it, with comfortable chairs and sofas, as well as spaces designed to have people over and entertain. The perfect nook for someone who actually spent a lot of time at home. You had never thought you’d live in such a place but you were happy you ended up here. Not that it mattered too much anyway, since you were sure you could be happy anywhere as long as you had Marshall by your side. After a few days, it was time for your boyfriend to go back to work and you’d be left alone in the house for the first time. The night before, as you were laying  in bed, the two of you were talking about his upcoming projects. Now that he was no longer in album recording mode, it would change a tad from what you had witnessed. He would spend as much time « in the lab », as he put it, but he would have more people over and prioritize his work as a producer for a bit. He seemed genuinely excited to go back to work, especially since he hadn’t indulged in such a long break in almost a decade. 
Three weeks off is rare for me, he chuckled. My team almost freaked out when I told them I needed this much time off, at first. 
Why did you, by the way ? You asked. 
I figured I would need a lot of rest after the tour, he explained. It was a short one but it was intense and, since I don’t perform as much as I used to, it’s harder on the body. Plus, I was still very much heartbroken over a certain someone… 
I’m sorry, you said sheepishly. 
Don’t be. All is well in the end, right ? I got my much-needed break, I have the most amazing woman back in my arms, we got to travel together and you even moved in ! I wouldn’t have it any other way, he said as he looked at you lovingly. 
They’re going to have you back in a good mood, you giggled. 
I’m pretty sure I’ll turn back into my usual bitchy self as soon as I get back, he chuckled. Doesn’t help that we’re starting with a full day of meetings, too… 
What meetings ? You asked, feeling curious. 
Bunch of them, he shrugged. One to plan the next months ahead, review the collaboration requests we’ve got, one about potential performance dates, a meeting with a journalist for an interview… oh and another one with Tracy. 
As soon as you heard her name leave his lips, you couldn’t help but grimace, which did not escape his notice. He chuckled and kissed your forehead. Since you had gone on vacation, you hadn’t mentioned her. To be fair, you were so busy that you had momentarily forgotten about her existence - which was not the worst thing. The mere mention of her was enough to make you groan and you had to put in a lot of effort not to have a mental image of her kissing your boyfriend the very day before you got back with him. Obviously, neither she nor Marshall had medium powers so they couldn’t have planned that you’d get back together but still… it irked you. You did not want that woman anywhere near Marshall. Especially since he had told you she had confessed to hoping they would get back together. He had given her a few weeks to sort her feelings out and decide on whether or not they would keep on working together, leaving the choice up to her. Your boyfriend was definitely a class act and a gentleman. Now, you secretly hoped she would quit. A shameful feeling you would never confess to having, of course. 
Stop clenching your jaw like that, it’s bad for you, Marshall chuckled as he traced your jaw with his fingers. 
I’m not clenching, you groaned. 
You totally are, he said with a smile. You still hate her don’t you ? 
Me ? Hate her ? You asked. I don’t hate her. Do I like her ? No. Do I hope she stubs her toe on some piece of furniture every morning for the rest of her life ? Maybe. But I don’t hate her. 
You’re so petty, he chortled. It’s hilarious. 
You mean pretty, right ? 
I said what I said, he chuckled as he kissed your temple. You know you don’t have anything to worry about, though, right ? 
I know, you said. I just have to shake the feeling. It’ll pass. 
I hope so, he replied. If she keeps on working as my personal assistant, you might run into her from time to time. I don’t want it to be weird. 
I can be civil, you assured him. As long as she keeps her hands off you. 
Territorial, much ? He teased you. 
You’re mine, you said. 
Yours, he said with a nod before kissing you tenderly. 
You settled in his arms as he turned off the lights and you put a hand over his perfect chest before drifting off to sleep. When you woke up the next day, he was already gone. You found a sweet note on your nightstand, telling you to enjoy having the house to yourself and that he would come home at 5:30PM. You missed him already but decided to make the most of your first day with some intensive self care. It was Monday so Talia was at work, otherwise you would have told her to come over for a girls day. Still, being on your own wasn’t going to prevent you from pampering yourself and trying to be pretty for your man when he would come back from work. You started with a bath, taking some time to do a full body scrub, some hair care and a face mask. One of the many perks of the house was the bathroom adjacent to the master bedroom, which was basically like a home spa. You could definitely get used to this life… you were getting dressed when the doorbell rang. It felt weird answering the door, but it was your new home after all. It was actually the delivery of your package from Agent Provocateur, and it was a huge one. As soon as you got it, you brought it to your closet and started unboxing. You had always liked lingerie but so far the most expensive stuff you had ever bought was probably from Victoria’s Secret or Princess Tam Tam, as well as a few Aubade pieces (on sale). This was different. It felt insanely sexy and luxurious and, to be honest, you weren’t too sure you deserved to be wearing such garments. Still, now that all this stuff was in your closet, you might as well wear it, so you decided to try it on. You were unsure whether it was the expensive fabrics and accessories adorning your body or your extensive pampering session from earlier, but you were absolutely feeling yourself. As you examined yourself in the mirror, you couldn’t help but think you looked great, which was quite a feat. Ever since you had lost weight, you had had trouble appreciating your body. You had always been on the curvier side and you had learned to love your body like this. So liking a skinnier version of your body was a bit hard. Still, the lingerie worked wonders. You tried on a few pieces and wished Marshall could be there to see it, sure that he would gladly enjoy the view, rather than being stuck in meetings with Paul, Tracy and God knows who else… That's when you had an idea : you might as well show him what was waiting for him at home when he would get back. Plus, it would also serve as a reminder that he might have a personal assistant, but you were the woman who was deserving of his attention. You didn’t actually worry about him being unfaithful, you fully trusted him, but you still had your doubts about whether or not Tracy would try and flirt with him. You barely knew the woman after all. As you tried on lingerie set after lingerie set, you snapped a few pictures and ended up having a little fun photo shoot. God bless good iPhone cameras, mirrors and timers. With a bit of color editing, the pictures looked even better. You sent one to Marshall, with the caption : « Good luck for your meetings. Miss you already. Can’t wait for you to be home ❤️ ».  Within a few minutes, he answered. 
From M❤️ : Can’t wait to be home either. Better not be wearing anything else when I get back. 
You chuckled and decided to tease him a little more, with pictures of other sets. You were curious to know what his favorite one was. There were so many options, from cute and simple bras with matching panties to more intricate things with corsets or garter belts…  
From M❤️ : Got told off by Paul for not paying attention. You’re getting me in trouble… 
To M❤️ : oops. Sorry for distracting you, my love. I’ll go and put some ugly sweats right away 👀 
From M❤️ : don’t you dare. 
You giggled and carried on with your little picture-taking, sending him the best ones. He didn’t reply much, but at least you knew he enjoyed it. It was the middle of the afternoon and you were casually chilling in the bedroom, in your finest lingerie with music playing loud on a portable speaker you had found in the living room. Not too bad for a Monday. You had just taken a cute selfie and we’re trying to edit it when you felt a presence. Before you could turn and check, you felt a hand firmly grasping your waist. You let out a scream of terror before another hand covered your mouth and you heard a giggle in your ear. It was Marshall. You immediately relaxed and turned to face him. 
You scared me ! You whined. 
I yelled at you but your music was too loud, he said with a grin before turning off the speaker. 
I thought I was being attacked, for a second ! 
Babe, it’s a gated community with security and cameras everywhere, you’re safe, he chuckled. Believe me, if my paranoid ass feels safe, it is safe. 
You giggled and kissed him before checking the time on your phone. It was 3:45PM. You looked at him in disbelief. You definitely didn’t expect him home this early, not that you were going to complain. 
Aren’t you supposed to be at work ? You asked. 
Called off the last two meetings, he said with a smile. If anyone asks, I’m feeling under the weather. Couldn’t focus anyway. I wonder why that is… 
Oops, you said as you blushed a bit. Am I in trouble ? 
Depends, he chuckled. Do I get to see more pictures ? 
You really suck at negotiating, you giggled. You could ask for a runway show and all you want are lousy pics ? 
He smiled and firmly grabbed your waist to pull you in for a deep kiss. His hands wandered around your body as your tongues found each other. 
You look incredible, he complimented. Your pictures drove me crazy. 
Glad to know there’s a way to get you to get back early, you said teasingly. I’ll remember that. 
I’ll be in trouble if that happens too much, he chuckled. But please feel free to send more of these pics… 
He pulled you closer and you could feel him being rock hard through his jeans. Knowing you were the cause gave you quite the ego boost and you felt quite proud. You kissed him and ran your hands on his chest. Even when he was wearing a tee-shirt, you could see the outline of his pecs and it was enough to drive you crazy. You gently squeezed one pec and he leaned into your touch while one of his hands cupped your butt cheek. 
So… do I get my runway show ? He asked with a smirk. 
Only because I’m a good girl and I don’t want to get in trouble, you said with a wink. 
You proceeded to try on a few of the items you hadn’t tried yet. The first was a black bodysuit with a lace up back, which wasn’t showing much but was giving glamorous vibes. The second was an opulent set with black lace and dainty chains, completed with a black waspie. As soon as he saw you, Marshall’s eyes widened. His mouth was slightly agape while he was staring. 
Do you like it ? You asked with a smile. 
You’re perfect, he said. These were fucking made for you. I think that’s my favorite set right here. 
Is it ? You asked teasingly. I should take a pic, so that I can send it to you next time you’re in a meeting… so you can remember me. 
I’ll take it for you, he said with a smirk as he grabbed your phone. 
You got on the bed and posed for him as he smiled and tried to take a decent shot, trying different angles. You teased him and bit your lip while you ran your hands over your breast, gently pinching your nipples through the fabric. 
You’re so hot, he groaned. I swear I could film you… 
You can do it, you said flirtingly. 
Are you serious ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 
Sure, why not, you nodded as you kept on stroking your breast and caressing the rest of your own body, teasing him with your eyes. 
His blue eyes were devouring you and you absolutely loved it. His look was one of pure adoration, mixed with desire. This prompted you to put on a little show for him. You sat at the edge of the bed and started touching yourself on top of the lacy underwear that was covering you. Your fingers circled your clit and you could feel just how wet you were, simply from knowing how aroused Marshall was. You kept on looking him in the eyes as you pleasured yourself. He was still holding the phone, staring at you, while his free hand was mindlessly palming his crotch. You looked at him with a devilish grin and walked to him before dropping on your knees. 
What are y-? He began asking. 
Shhhh. Just keep filming and enjoy, you said with a smirk. 
You unbuckled his belt and managed to get him out of his pants and boxers. You stroked his erection, your touch making him sigh in pleasure. Precum was already dripping from the tip and you couldn’t resist licking it, gently teasing the head of his cock with your tongue as you kept on stroking him. His hand that wasn’t holding the phone went to the back of your head, gently encouraging you to keep going and you took that as you cue to start sucking, which caused him to moan and slur a few obscenities. You weren’t sure if it was the camera pointed at you, his unusually vocal response or the lingerie that had you feeling so confident, but you loved it. You stared at him as you kept on sucking him, trying to take him in as much as you could. He started bucking his hips while praising you for taking him so well. You had a bit of a gag reflex but kept going until the tip of your nose was touching his pubes. Tears were welling in your eyes but you loved hearing him moan. It was music to your ears. His hips started thrusting faster as the hold he had on your head tightened. You weren’t sure you could keep going for long and, for the briefest of moments, you were almost scared that you were going to choke. He stopped and looked at you, phone still in hand. 
Bed. All fours. Now, he said. 
Yes sir, you giggled playfully before doing as he said. 
Hold this for me, he said as he handed you the phone so that he could shed the rest of his clothes. 
When he was completely naked, he grabbed a condom from the nightstand and put it on before taking the phone back as he pushed your thong aside and positioned himself at your entrance. You let out a gasp when he entered you and immediately started moving at a frantic pace. Unlike most of the time, he did not give you time to get used to his size but you did not really mind - you liked the roughness. His hand was firmly holding your hip, his fingers slightly digging in your skin. In this instant, you belonged to him and you were his to use as he pleased. He was pounding hard into you as you moaned his name, tears still rolling on your cheeks from trying to deepthroat a few minutes earlier. 
Fuck it, he groaned. 
You heard a “plop”, it was your phone being carelessly thrown onto the bed and bouncing God knows where. Marshall’s now free hand found your waist. He was now firmly holding you, thrusting like a piston. 
I-I’m coming, you warned. 
Yes baby, he groaned. Come for me. 
You both exploded in an orgasm at the same time and Marshall collapsed onto you, letting out a small grunt as his head hit your shoulder. You stayed in the unlikely position for a couple of minutes, taking the opportunity to catch your breath. You were panting and you could feel his strong heartbeat in your back. You buried your face in the sheets and enjoyed the warmth of his breath on your skin. 
You are fucking incredible, he said. 
You too, you said. God, that was so intense. 
Too much ? He asked. 
Just enough, you said with a smile. Perfect. You know I like it a little rough. 
You’re also a little kinky, he pointed out. 
Maybe, you admitted with a giggle. 
He placed a small kiss on your shoulder and changed position so that he could properly lay next to you. He looked at you with a soft smile and placed a strand of hair behind your ear. You couldn’t resist kissing him. 
You are so hot, he said. I swear to God, I have never, ever been more turned on by anyone. 
Really ? You grinned. 
God, the pics, actually seeing you wear this, and then filming you ?! Babe, you are… wow, he said. 
I guess I was feeling a little frisky today, you giggled. 
I’ve noticed, he said with a grin. What got into you ? 
I don’t know, you shrugged. I mean… the lingerie got me feeling all sexy and… I always wanted to try filming, so… 
Really ? He asked. 
I mean… yeah, I was curious, you admitted. What ? Do you think it’s weird ? 
No, he shrugged. Not at all. You’re just a little kinkier than I thought, I guess. Not that I’m complaining. 
I guess I am kinky, you said with a smile.
He let out a small laugh as he stretched and got rid of the condom before laying back on the bed. 
What ? You asked, worrying that he might be making fun of you. 
Nothing. It’s just kind of funny. I guess you don’t really come across as the kinky type, you know ? When I met you there was no way I would have thought you enjoyed being filmed and stuff. 
Do I look that vanilla ? 
Frankly ? Yes, he laughed. But hey, I love your kinky side too. It’s a pleasant surprise. Makes me wonder what else turns you on. I realize there’s a shit ton I don’t know about you. 
It’s true, I haven’t been too daring in bed, so far, you admitted. 
Why ? He asked. Didn’t you feel comfortable enough with me ? 
It’s not that. I guess I wasn’t in the mood for kinky stuff at that particular time ? You tried to explain. I mean, getting to sleep with you is enough for me. I enjoy vanilla sex just as much. 
He hummed in response, still staring at you. As if he was waiting for you to elaborate. 
It’s true - we’ve been pretty vanilla so far, he said. 
How about you ? You asked. Any kinks you want to tell me about ? 
Hey. We were talking about yours. Don’t change the subject, he said. 
Are you feeling uneasy ? You asked. 
Maybe a little, he admitted. 
We don’t have to have that conversation if you don’t want to, you said as you kissed his jaw. 
Oh but I do want to have it, he said. I want to know about you. Go first and maybe I’ll tell you about me, he added with a grin. 
Let’s see… I feel like that’s pretty basic you know ? I like it rough but I don’t know if it registers as a kink ? Maybe it does. I mean… I’ve never really got to take it as far as I want to, so, I don’t know, you said. I haven’t had too many partners, and I’ve never felt confident enough to try all the things I want to. 
Really ? 
Yeah. I mean, it takes a certain amount of comfort in a relationship, you said. 
I guess, he admitted. 
Plus, you know, I had my first boyfriend when I was 18, and he is the first person I ever slept with. It lasted about three years and we never tried anything crazy. Then there was Simon. We were together for a while but we didn’t explore much. It was mostly light spanking, hair-pulling, but that’s all. Then Josh, but we didn’t do much. And then… you. 
How far did you go with Josh ? 
Foreplay, you said. 
He hummed, his eyes darkening. 
What ? You asked, I answer, you said. 
That motherfucker, Marshall commented. 
You really hated him, didn’t you ? You asked. 
Hate is a strong word, he said. But yeah, I wasn’t his biggest fan. He didn’t deserve you. 
He was nice and caring, you pointed out. That’s more than a lot of dudes. 
He was kind of stupid and he put you in danger, Marshall said flatly as he referred to the salsa bar incident that had led you to the hospital. 
You know it wasn’t his fault, you said as you rolled your eyes. I think you’re being a bit jealous here. 
Maybe I am, he admitted. I must say it was not the most fun time for me, when you dated him. I was trying hard not to be all over you, and he was the one who got to kiss you, take you on dates and everything. 
You are the one who got the girl in the end, you reminded him, which caused him to smile. 
The kinky girl, he added. Let’s not get lost here… I want to know stuff. So… slept with three people and that’s it ? 
Well, no. I only dated three people before you. I did sleep with a couple more people though. Girls actually. 
Oh I didn't know you liked girls, he said surprised. 
Yeah, I’m bi. I never dated a girl though. They’re too impressive, you said with a laugh. Men are easier to get, I think. 
Have you ever had a threesome ? He asked. 
That’s on my « list » but no, never. I’d be into that, though, you admitted. Any type of threesome. Or more than that, who knows ? But yeah, I think it could be fun. And I wouldn’t want to die stupid and ignorant you know ? 
Right, he chuckled. Though I must admit that in my opinion, it’s a bit overhyped. 
You’ve had threesomes ? 
A bunch of times, yeah, he shrugged. I mean, I get a lot of opportunities on tour. I’ve had threesomes, foursomes, moresomes… 
You looked at him with curiosity. You figured that, given his age and occupation, he must have had a lot of experiences, but you didn’t really know how far he had taken it. You were kind of curious and there were a lot of questions you wanted to ask. 
Did you enjoy it ? You asked. 
I mean… Yeah, he said. That was a point in my life when I wanted to get all the pussy I could, so in that regard, that was fun. Though there’s something about the logistics. Threesomes are fine but when there’s more people or an actual orgy, there’s a lot going on at the same time so you can’t really focus, you know what I mean ? But yeah, that was exciting. I mean, I did get a lot of opportunities and propositions, a while ago. 
I bet you still do, you said. 
Not really, he chuckled. I mean, with the level of security that I have, it’s hard to get to me anyway so there’s not a lot of people who can actually proposition me, you know ? Back in the day, we were more lenient with security and letting people hang out with us after shows. But regardless, my interest in that is different. 
You’re still a regular horndog, you giggled. 
True, he said with a smile. But getting sober made a big difference when it comes to my approach to sex and intimacy in general. 
I have so many questions, you said. 
Me first, he reminded you. 
Fine, you said as you rolled your eyes. What do you want to know ? 
Mmmh… How rough do you mean, when you say you like it rough ? Marshall asked. 
I don’t know, you said. I haven’t tested a lot of things yet, so I think I’d like to push my limits and test stuff. I wouldn’t necessarily want to get punched in the face, but being shoved against a wall, the ground and roughhousing ? Yes, absolutely. 
Ok, he said with a nod as if he was making a mental note. What else ? 
Let’s see… Well I wanted to try being filmed and we did that, so I guess we can cross that off my list… 
You’d never done that before ? He asked. 
Never. 
He smiled at you with pride and his grin made you scoff. Male ego at its peak. 
I wouldn’t say I’m into exhibition, but I wouldn’t mind trying stuff in public either, you added. I think the fear of getting caught can be really exciting. Other than that there’s… uh… submission. 
Really ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. 
Yeah, you confessed shyly. I think it’s really really hot when your partner takes control. Especially of you’re the partner. 
You could feel the heat in your cheeks and you were pretty sure your face was crimson red at this point, but there was something about Marshall, his aura, his natural charisma, his voice that called to your submissive nature. It had never been the case with anyone else, only him. 
Me ? He asked with a smirk. 
Oh yeah, you admitted. When you get that deep voice… ? God… 
You got lost in your thoughts for a second. The mere idea of Marshall domineering you was turning you on. 
Keep going, he said. I want to know more. 
I think that’s it, actually, you said with a smile. I mean, I haven’t done a lot of research either. I just want to explore stuff and have fun. 
I guess we might be able to try some stuff together, if you’re up for it, he said before kissing you. 
Really ? You asked in excitement. 
Sure, he chuckled. I mean, I wouldn’t consider myself like much of a dominant, but if you wanted me to try, I might give it a go. 
Ok, you said softly. 
The idea of being able to explore sexuality and furthering your intimacy made you really happy. You had never felt so safe with any of your partners before. You trusted this man with all of your heart and soul. 
What else would you be willing to try ? You asked giddily. 
What was on the list again ? He asked. 
Hum… Threesomes ? I mean, you’ve done it before so it wouldn’t be anything new to you, you said. 
I don’t know about this one, he admitted. 
Oh, ok, you said. 
I mean, I’m not sure how I feel about sharing you, he explained. Given the right opportunity and person, it’s not a firm and definitive no, but… Yeah, I don’t know. But threesomes can be fun, for sure. 
Ok, you agreed. That makes sense. But if it were to happen, like, hypothetically, you’d rather have it be with another woman, right ? 
Absolutely, he said. I’m definitely straight and I understand that a woman might want to have two men with her but… No way I’m sharing you with another dude. Not happening. Sorry babe. 
That’s fine, you giggled. Just testing the water here. So, when you had threesomes and all, it was just girls ? 
Yep, he chuckled. My ex is bi so she would have girls over and that’s how it would happen, most of the time. 
You were in an open marriage ? You asked. 
Not really, he chuckled. Though there was so much cheating that it might as well have been an open marriage, I guess. Let’s just say I was more lenient if she hooked up with girls and especially if it could benefit me as well… 
Ok, you said with a smile. My turn, now ? 
Fire away, he said. 
Are you sure you’re straight ? You asked cockily. Like, have you ever been with a man ? 
I have, he said casually. 
Really ?! 
You were in shock. You definitely weren’t expecting that and your question was actually a joke. You didn’t have a problem with it, obviously, but seeing as he had been portrayed as homophobic in the past, you didn’t think he would have given it a try. 
Can I ask questions about that ? You asked. 
I guess, he shrugged. I mean, I don’t think I have really talked about it but I trust you so, yeah, go ahead. But there’s nothing to say, really. 
When was it ? 
Uh… Twenty years ago, I’d say ? He replied after taking some time to think. So, yeah, it was a while ago. When I performed with Elton John at the Grammys… 
NOOOOOO ?! You almost yelled. 
Your mouth was wide open and you were almost in shock. Had your boyfriend really slept with Elton John ?!?! He immediately burst into a fit of laughter, so much so that he was actually crying. 
You should see your face, he said as he tried to catch his breath. Fuck, you’re so gullible, babe. 
You’ve been leading me on, haven’t you ? You asked with a grin. You’ve never tried guys. 
Oh no, that part was true, he chuckled. It happened after the Grammys but it wasn’t with Elton. He’s great, he’s a friend but it wasn’t him. I don’t think I remember the guy’s name though. In my defense, I was high. 
So, what happened ? You asked. Hooked up with a guy and didn’t like it ? 
Basically, yeah, he said. The guy looked good and I though “If I ever have to be attracted by a man, I think that would be someone like this”, so when he flirted and made a pass at me, I went for it. He was cool and an ok kisser, but the hookup was a disaster. If you can even call it that. I was fucking high but that sobered me up and I knew right then and there : straight. 1000%. 
At least you know for sure, you giggled. 
Exactly, he chuckled. Next question ? 
Do you have any kinks ? 
Not so many, he said. I’ve tried a lot of stuff, out of curiosity and for the sake of experience but I’m not into freaky, kinky stuff. I’m a simple man. But I suppose it depends on what you call a kink ? 
I don’t even know, you giggled. I should have done my research if I had known I’d get to quiz you. 
Find a list and I’ll tell you whether or not I’m into it, he shrugged. 
You grabbed your phone and took the first list you found - there went the purity of your web browser. 
Age play ? Like “daddy-dominant-little-girl” ? 
Absolutely not. Being called daddy in bed is a huge turn-off. Maybe it’s a Dad thing, I don’t know. Not to kink-shame but I think it’s sort of twisted you know ? He said. 
You have called me “babygirl” before though, you pointed out with a smile. 
Yeah but I don’t see it in the same way. Probably a double-standard he admitted. 
Let’s see… Bondage ? You asked. 
I don’t mind it. It can be fun but not a necessity. 
Blindfold sex ? 
Hate it, he said. I love being able to look at my partner. I think I’m pretty visual when it comes to sex. As for blindfolding people… maybe. Once again, it can be fun once in a while. 
So no blindfolding you, you noted. Cuckholding ? 
Is that shit alphabetised ? He asked with a laugh. Cuckholding is a no for me. First, because I don’t do humiliation, secondly because I’m not big on sharing. 
Yes it’s alphabetised, you smiled. 
I do enjoy that. I know it’s not a kink but I like things in order. 
Good to know, you chuckled. Claustrophilia ? 
It depends. I’ve had sex in elevators, closets and airplane bathrooms, so I think it counts. You ? 
Never thought of it but I’m not against it, you said with a wink. 
Good to know. Glad I can easily get a jet for us to try that, too…
You chuckled once again. You liked learning more about him. 
Dominance we have already talked about… how about DIY porn ? You asked. That’s the next item on the list. 
Didn’t we just do that ? He asked back. 
Yeah but how did you feel about it ? 
It was fun. I’m not even sure I did a great job with the filming though. But I guess it’ll be fun to have the video as a memory if i’m ever away from you and horny, he stated. 
Electrostimulation ? 
Nope.
Erotic Asphyxiation ? 
They could have put that in the B section under “Breathplay” he commented. I don’t really like being choked but if you want me to do it to you, sure. Safely, of course. 
Both his alphabetical comment and the statement made you smile. 
Foot fetish ? 
Nope. A girl asked me to try that once but I didn’t like it. 
Food play ? 
It can be fun but I’m not big on it. Next ? 
Gagging ? 
Not for me, no. You ? 
No thanks, you said. I don’t really mind if I gag a little during a blowjob, though. But not voluntarily. 
I do like the idea of making you gag with my cock, he confessed with a little grin. Next ? 
Gerontophilia ? 
Nothing against the elderly but that’s not a kink for me, he said. But I’m sure I’ll find you sexy as fuck when you’re an old lady though. 
Thanks, you laughed. We’ve covered humiliation already… how about impact play ? Like hitting ? 
I don’t really want to be hit or spanked, he said. You ? 
I think I’d like to try, you said. I’ve been spanked before but I’d gladly try more. 
As long as I’m not physically hurting you…, he said. 
You could see a hint of sadness in his eyes. 
Are you alright ? You asked immediately. 
Yeah, no, I’m good, he said dryly. I just… well we might as well talk about it… 
What’s wrong ? We can stop this conversation if you’re not ok, baby, you said. 
It’s fine, he said. It’s just… in the past, Kim and I got physical a couple of times. I mean, you probably know about that, because of the media and I’ve written songs about it. It’s never been to a point where I was actually beating her down, but we’ve definitely hit each other a number of times. But thinking about that… it’s hard because it’s one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made, you know ? That’s not the person I want to be. 
That’s not the person you are either, you said softly. You wouldn’t hurt a fly. 
I’d rather kill myself than hurt you, he stated in all seriousness.
You looked at him and his stern expression. You gently stroked his hand. 
I trust you and I know you’ll never hurt me, you said. 
You don’t think I’m an asshole who deserves hell for what I’ve done ? He asked pensively. 
I don’t. I mean, I’ll never condone domestic violence and if you ever lay a hand on me in circumstances that aren’t sexual, I’ll leave, that’s for sure. I’ll never say it’s ok that you hit your ex, but it’s also in the past and I know you have changed. So I trust you and I don’t think you deserve to suffer. I can see on your face that you suffer enough from the memories. 
I deserve to, he said sternly. 
Sorry, you said. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought up impact play. If it triggers you, we’ll never try it. 
If you want to try, maybe we can keep it on the soft side, he said. But yeah… I don’t think I’d be ready to really hit you too hard. Even if you begged for it. 
We can stop the list there, if you want, you said. I mean… I love talking about that with you but I’d be happy to just cuddle and go to bed, you know ? 
Nah, it’s good. Keep the list going. I like learning stuff about you, he said with a smile. 
Ok, so… interrogation play ? 
Not really. 
Japanese bondage like shibari ? 
Not my stuff either. I get the hype but it’s too intricate and I don’t have time for that shit, he said with a grin. It’s really sexy to see though. 
Klismaphilia ? You asked. 
What the fuck even is that ? He asked laughingly. 
It’s Greek and it means… oh… it’s enemas. 
Ah. Then no. Absolutely not, he said. 
Me neither. How about Katoptronophilia ? It’s masturbating in front of a mirror. 
Nope. 
How about masochism ? You asked. 
Down to M already ? No, I'm not a masochist. 
Reading the description I might be into that, you commented. It’s enjoying pain so… maybe I’m a bit of a masochist after all, you shrugged. 
Yeah ? Well as I said… as long as I don’t mistreat you… I guess I can pull your hair and spank you gently, he said with a smile. 
Sounds fine, you said with a smile. Next on the list is… Melolagnia, you added with a grin. I think I’ve just discovered a new kink of mine. 
What is that ? 
I’ll read it to you : “ Melolagnia is a fetish that involves being turned on by music. This doesn’t simply mean having a go-to Spotify playlist when you have sex, but rather experiencing strong sexual reactions in response to music and also fantasizing about certain songs or genres. The arousal can derive from a combination of the musical elements including the singer’s voice, beat, repetition, or even the quality of the composition, all of which can lead to physical sensations like goosebumps, a faster heartbeat, or even more natural sexual lubrication.” You quoted. 
Oh wow. Didn’t know that existed, he said. But yeah music turns me on. You ? 
Oh, definitely, you said blushing and attempting to hide your face. 
Why are you suddenly so red and looking away ? He asked with a grin. Any songs I should know about ? 
Shut up, you muttered. 
Come on, Y/N. Tell me. 
No. You’ll never let me live it down, you said. 
As long as it’s not MGK, that should be fine, he joked. 
Come on… 
Tell me ! What ? Is it an artist I’ve had beef with ? Mariah ? Christina Aguilera ? Ja Rule ? Please don’t say Ja Rule… 
I’m not having this conversation, you said, embarrassed. 
Now that I know you like domination, I can make you talk, woman, he said as he put a finger underneath your chin. 
You wouldn’t, you mumbled. 
Try me. 
Your eyes met his. He stared at you. 
Tell me, he said in his deep, authoritarian voice. 
“Not fair”, you thought, definitely turned on but unable to speak. 
Do I know them ?
You nodded. 
Is it a friend of mine ? Dre ? 50 ? He asked as you were unable to make a sound. Then who ? Tell. Me. 
There went the voice again. 
It’s… you. 
You spoke so softly, hoping he wouldn’t catch it. Unfortunately for you, he did. 
Ah, he said with a grin, trying not to laugh. 
Don’t judge me, you muttered. 
Well it depends… is there a song in particular ? He asked softly. 
Do we have to have this conversation ? You asked as you rolled your eyes. 
Come on babe, it’s fun. And it’s flattering. I’m glad you think my music can be sexy. 
Marshaaaaall…
Please ? 
He was looking at you with adorable puppy eyes. 
Fine, you grumbled. Superman. And Heat, too. You happy ? 
You hid your face in your hands in embarrassment. You heard him scoff and he gently kissed your shoulder. 
Come on, it’s fine. It’s not as if you had said FACK, you know ? Then I probably would have laughed in your face. But Superman… ? I sort of get it. I mean, it’s kind of the intention we had when we recorded. Heat too. I mean, it’s in the title. So it’s fine, babe. 
You don’t think I’m a weird groupie ? You asked. 
Of course not. I think you’re the cutest thing ever, right now. And I can definitely sing those for you sometime, he said with a grin. Let’s just not play one of my albums while we fuck, ok ? I’m not that much of an egomaniac. 
Mmmh. 
Let’s get back to the list, he said as he took the phone from your hand. So… Nylons ? No. Nebulophilia - steam and fog ? Neither. Oh… objectum sexuality. You like toys ? 
I have a couple, you admitted. You ? 
Yeah, a couple too. Though I don’t use them much. But we could definitely have fun with that, he said. 
Sure, why not.  What’s next ? 
Uh… pregnancy fetish. 
Well I’m attracted to women but not pregnant ones, you stated. I get that the creation of life can be beautiful and stuff, but they look like aliens to me. 
Yeah ? Well I have to admit… I don’t want anymore kids because I’m all done with that and too old for that shit anyway but… yeah, I think pregnancy is sexy, he admitted. I mean, I sort of have a breeding kink.
Really ? You asked in shock. 
Yep. Never been more attracted to my ex than when she was pregnant, he said. 
Was that because she was carrying your baby ? You asked. 
No, not even that. I mean, that plays a big part in the appreciation, but Stevie isn’t technically mine and still, when Kim was pregnant with her… I found her so hot. 
Ok, you said. 
You’d had the kids' conversation before and you were ready to give that up, but him saying that kind of made you regret the fact that you’d never be pregnant anymore. 
You ok baby ? He asked when you went silent. 
Sure, you said softly. I’m just thinking… I’ll never get pregnant again, so… I’ll never get to experience this kind of attraction from you to me, you know ? 
Doesn’t matter, baby. I’m always attracted to you. You’re my kink and fetish, you yourself, he said. 
Yeah ? You asked. 
Of course. Plus, I may have a pregnancy fetish but it’s not that much. Like, I’m not going to jump on every pregnant lady I see like some sort of creep. And I’m not crazy to the point of dealing with 20 years of consequences for 9 months of kink. 
Makes sense, you chuckled. So if my belly gets too round because of pizza, that’ll turn you on ? 
I don’t know, he said as he burst out in laughter. Probably not though. I like your belly just the way it is. 
Ok then. Next item ? 
Public sex, he said. That’s a no for me. Obviously. I can’t risk it. Then we have… Quirofilia, the fetish for hands. I don’t really have that either. 
Good. I’ll save on getting my nails done, you joked. 
No, you can still do that. I mean, I love seeing your pretty hands… especially on some places… but it’s just not really a kink. Also, nail biting turns me off. 
Really ? 
Yup. Next is… role play. What do you think about that ? He asked. 
Not really my thing, you said. But if it’s something you like, I’ll give it a try. 
It’s not really my thing either, he said with a smile. Robot fetish ? 
Nope, you replied. You ? 
Neither. I mean, I guess that if I was single and really in need, I’d love to get a sex robot, but the idea doesn’t really turn me on, he said. 
Yeah, you’re just a guy, you teased. 
Probably, he admitted with a laugh. Next is spectrochilia. Do you believe in ghosts ? 
Not really. But if they were to exist, they’d be more scary than sexy to me, you said. 
I agree. Then we have Stygiophilia. That’s a good one, he said. The pleasure of the idea of going to hell or facing eternal punishment. I guess I’d better get going on that one because there’s no way I’m going to heaven so… 
Don’t be silly. Of course you’ll go to heaven. You’re the best human I know, you said. 
Do you even believe in God he asked ? 
Depends. In times of despair, I hope he exists and hears my prayers. Plus, when I look at the marvel of the universe, I think it’s not something random… but I’ve never even read any sacred text or anything, so, not really. How about you ? 
I’d say I’m a Christian, he simply stated. Not churchy or anything, but yeah, I’ve read the Bible and I believe in God. 
I didn’t know that, you said. 
I don’t talk about it a lot. What’s the point ? Everyone has their beliefs. 
True. What’s next ? 
Tentacles. Nope. 
Me neither, you said.
Trichophilia - are you attracted to hair ? 
Are you kidding ? I’m a girl born in the 90s. If anything I’ve been taught to despise it, you said with a laugh. You ? 
Not attracted to it, nope. But I’m also not one of those guys who is disgusted by it. It’s just… hair. 
What’s next ? 
Urophilia. That’s a no for me. You ? 
Neither. 
Thank God. I mean… if you had been into it, I would have respected it, but there’s no way I could be involved in it. 
Yeah it’s gross. Let’s change the subject. What’s next ? You asked. 
Underwear. Well, you know I have a thing for lingerie, obviously, he chuckled. How about you ? 
I like lingerie too, you said with a smile. As for male underwear, I don’t really care, but I like your boxers. 
Then we have… Voyeurism, he said. 
Oh I’m not a voyeur, you said. If anything I am scared to catch anyone I know in the middle of sex. 
Same, he chuckled. But I have to admit that seeing you touch yourself is the hottest thing ever. That gets me really horny, really fast. 
Really ? You asked. 
Fuck yeah, he said. Remember the night I told you I loved you ? 
You blushed at the memory. The whole thing had been caused by his very own sex scene in 8 Mile, of all things. 
I like masturbating for you, you said softly. And I kind of like watching you masturbate too. 
So kind of a voyeur too I guess ? He said. 
I guess. Next ?
Vicarphilia - that’s the… oh, the arousal of hearing someone talk about their sec life. What do you think of that ? 
I guess that can be sexy. Never thought of it before. But talking about sex is sexy anyway. 
True, he said. Even casually like right now… it’s kind of cool and sexy, he admitted. Then we have whips. Once again, not too keen on those. 
Oh, ok, you said. 
You ?
I wouldn’t have minded trying but it’s not necessarily on my list either, you said earnestly. Next ? 
« Wet and messy », he said with a laugh. I do love when you’re all wet and messy.
Isn’t that one about wet food like jell-o though ? You asked. I always thought it’s kind of gross though. 
Oh yeah, he said upon reading the description. Then no, that’s not my thing. Wax play ? 
Maybe, you said. I like the idea of massage candles and stuff. 
Yeah, that sounds pretty cool, he agreed. Then we have yoni eggs. I don’t have a vagina so I don’t really have an opinion on that one, I have to say. 
Yeah… not my thing, you said with a grimace. 
Zappers ? He asked. Like electro-stimulation ? Yup, no thanks. 
It sounds scary, you said as he nodded. 
And there’s the last item on the list : Zentai. Like the latex body suits, he stated. 
Not sure I’d like it, you said. 
Same here. I mean, you’d look hot in one though, but I’ll survive if I never see it. 
That’s it ? We’re done ? 
We’re done, he said. Unless you have more questions for me ? To be fair I asked you a lot of them too. 
You took a second to think. Of course you had tons of questions you’d like to ask him. After all, he was a worldwide renown superstar, so you assumed he must have crazy stories to tell. 
Do you know exactly how many people you have had sex with ? You asked. 
I should have known this one was coming, he chuckled. No, I genuinely have no idea. Anything else ? 
Do you miss the era when you were… you know… getting a lot of action ? Instead of just having one partner ? 
No, he said with a smile. It was fun for a while but it wasn’t fulfilling. When you don’t have a lot of opportunities, you fantasize about it and you think it’s going to be the best thing ever, but you don’t actually get to build a connection with someone, you know ? And the sex is so much better when you have that. Especially with you. 
Do you really like our sex life ? You asked. 
Of course, he scoffed. What ? Do I look like I don’t ? 
No, you said with a smile. But sometimes I worry that I’m not… experienced enough for you. 
You don’t have to worry about that, baby, he said as he took you in his arms. I love fucking you, making love to you… It’s great. Are you happy with our sex life ? 
Of course, you replied. I mean… You already know you’re the best I have ever had. And I love that we’re able to talk about it, too. Thank you for opening up to me, my love. 
I like talking to you, he said. Now, how about a shower ? I’m all sweaty. 
You nodded and you went to the bathroom where you showered together, kissing and exchanging love words. After, you lounged in the living room, mindlessly watching TV as he told you about his day and his meetings. 
How did the meeting with Tracy go, by the way ? You asked. 
Went well, he said with a smile. We talked for a bit and she said she actually feels comfortable to keep working with me, so that’s one less thing to worry about. I would hate it if I had to hire someone else. Sorry, babe, I know you would have loved to see her go. 
I never said that, you defended yourself. 
I know you too well, he chuckled. You don’t have to worry, though. About how she feels about me, I mean. We cleared the air and she said she was just feeling super lonely. 
Do you believe her ? You asked as you squinted. 
I do, he replied. So you don’t have to worry about anything, ok ? 
Ok, you shrugged. I mean, I trust you. By the way, have you slept with anyone else from your team ? 
No, he chuckled. Just her. Why ? Are you jealous ? 
I’m not, you said. But I just want to know if I risk running into someone who’s slept with you, you know ? 
You should be fine, he chuckled. I mean, you don’t risk meeting any ex of mine besides Tracy. Oh, and Kim, obviously. But that’s it ? 
Why would I meet Kim ? You asked confused. 
Well, she’s going to be here at Thanksgiving, he shrugged - as if it were no big deal. 
You looked at him with a confused look. You had agreed to celebrate Thanksgiving together this year, with his family. It sort of made sense, since the two were living together anyway. However, you had absolutely no idea that it would imply meeting his ex - the infamous Kim Scott. The one that people considered as Marshall’s one true love. You were so taken aback that you had no control over your facial expression. 
Anything wrong ? He asked after a few seconds of silence. 
You didn’t tell me that when we talked about Thanksgiving, you pointed out. 
I thought I did, he shrugged. 
I think I would remember if my boyfriend told me his ex-wife would be here, you said sternly. 
Sorry, babe, he said casually. Is that an issue ? 
I mean… yeah, you said frankly. Why would you celebrate Thanksgiving with her anyway ? 
Because she is the mother of my children, he explained. It’s a family holiday.
But she is your ex. You’re divorced, you said. 
Yeah but we will always be family, you know ? He continued. It allows the girls to have both of their parents with them and not have to choose. Especially now that they all have boyfriends and spend holidays with their in-laws every other year. Plus, we’re good, you know ? We get along pretty well so it’s no big deal. 
Ok, you mumbled. I’ll just celebrate with Talia and Jamal, then. 
Not with me ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I was kind of looking forward to our first holiday together, babe. 
Me too, you admitted. But that was before I knew your ex would be here. 
Why would that change anything ? He asked. 
Because it changes everything, you said. How do you expect me to enjoy it if the woman you married - twice, mind you -, the mother of your children is here ? I’m going to be… intruding. 
No you wouldn’t, he said as he took your hand in his. You’re my girl, you’re the lady of this house. You can’t intrude in your own place. I want you here, with me. 
I don’t know, you said. I don’t feel comfortable. And I bet she wouldn’t either. 
She knows you’ll be here, he shrugged. And she doesn’t mind. I think she’s looking forward to meeting you actually. 
You stared at him in surprise. You definitely didn’t expect to spend your first holiday as Marshall’s girlfriend with his ex-wife being around. He didn’t seem phased by the situation, as if he didn’t see the problem. You, on the other hand, could smell the disaster from ten thousand miles away. Right when you thought you didn’t actually have to worry about another woman in Marshall’s life, you were about to meet his fucking ex-wife. What could go wrong ? Absolutely everything.
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nazumichi · 4 months
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“i don’t know how anyone gets through school without doing a sport. raii, how do you do it??!” it’s a funny story actually,
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rainbow-sparks · 1 year
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I saw Jay's playthrough of Sally Face today and it made me remember how much I love this game, so I drew Sal :))!!
#seriously I just ahafgz I'm going to be so annoying about this game now I'm sorry (lying)#(everytime I say/read/etc the word seriously I read it in Ocean's voice when she's singing What The World Needs omfg)#his hair looks like that because........uhmm#cute :33 but also I just..can't draw straight hair ://#in pigtails specifically. idk why it just two ponytails so I don't know WHY I can't...#my dad is saying I HAVE to go to school or he won't pay the wifi bill uhmm apparently it 2 months behind?? uhh yeah...? oof guess I'll#fucking kms instead because if I have to be at that DAMN HIGHSCHOOL AGAIN#I am only a freshman and I already wanna bash my head into the desk#MY GYM TEACHER DIDN'T EVEN KNOW MY FUCKING NAME#AND I have to deal w/ shitty fucking allergies on top of that because my mom SUCKS and I didn't think to grad the medicine when I was#leaving yesterday morning mostly cause her BITCH ASS EX WAS THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM (that's connected to the kitchen; where the medicine#was) because she can't kick him out and she has work so she need him there anyway because free babysitting because she had this stupid#fucking kid with him 4 years ago ://#what am I talking about???#sorry for ranting babe hehe <3 back to being a silly little guy ^^!!#so my friend wants me to play D&D with her and her other friend (idk who they are?? she never told me their name)#so that's cool :)#anyway I listened to Sanity Falls again I fucking love those songs god Idk y I stopped listening to these what was wrong w/ me damn :DDD!!!#gonna queue a few post so they go up while I'm either asleep or at school#probably school cause my dad said if I'm asleep he'll beat me awake :/ so yeah...not new whatever :/#can't even complain; cause according to my parents it isn't abuse to hit you're CHILD and they had it worse so stfu and I hate you' like#WTF WAS THAT? BRO?? ughh like okay yeha I get it I've been out for a bit but like...really? has Hitting use worked EVER? no? THEN WHY ARE#THEY STILL DOING IT??........ugghhh fuck#night dude :p#omfg I ranted to much I forgot to tag#sally face#sal fisher#sally face sal
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abluescarfonwaston · 2 years
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Damn tiger and bunny is some good freaking cake. Munch munch munch.
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inkskinned · 3 months
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
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autismserenity · 2 months
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know someone who enjoys horror stories? share this one! it's true!
hahahahahahahahahaha aarrggghhhhhhhhhh 3,000,000 deaths due to COVID-19 last year. Globally. Three million. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. The reason people are still worried about COVID is because it has a way of quietly fucking up your body. And the risk is cumulative.
I'm going to say that again: the risk is cumulative.
It's not just that a lot of people get bad long-term effects from it. One in seven or so? Enough that it's kind of the Russian Roulette of diseases. It's also that the more times you get it, the higher that risk becomes. Like if each time you survived Russian Roulette, the empty chamber was removed from the gun entirely. The worst part is that, psychologically, we have the absolute opposite reaction. If we survive something with no ill effects, we assume it's pretty safe. It is really, really hard to override that sense of, "Ok, well, I got it and now I probably have a lot of immunity and also it wasn't that bad." It is not a respiratory disease. Airborne, yes. Respiratory disease, no: not a cold, not a flu, not RSV.
Like measles (or maybe chickenpox?), it starts with respiratory symptoms. And then it moves to other parts of your body. It seems to target the lungs, the digestive system, the heart, and the brain the most.
It also hits the immune system really hard - a lot of people are suddenly more susceptible to completely unrelated viruses. People get brain fog, migraines, forget things they used to know.
(I really, really hate that it can cross the blood-brain barrier. NOTHING SHOULD EVER CROSS THE BLOOD-BRAIN BARRIER IT IS THERE FOR A REASON.) Anecdotal examples of this shit are horrifying. I've seen people talk about coworkers who've had COVID five or more times, and now their work... just often doesn't make sense? They send emails that say things like, "Sorry, I didn't mean Los Angeles, I meant Los Angeles."
Or they insist they've never heard of some project that they were actually in charge of a year or two before.
Or their work is just kind of falling apart, and they don't seem to be aware of it.
People talk about how they don't want to get the person in trouble, so their team just works around it. Or they describe neighbors and relatives who had COVID repeatedly, were nearly hospitalized, talked about how incredibly sick they felt at the time... and now swear they've only had it once and it wasn't bad, they barely even noticed it.
(As someone who lived with severe dissociation for most of my life, this is a genuinely terrifying idea to me. I've already spent my whole life being like, "but what if I told them that already? but what if I did do that? what if that did happen to me and I just don't remember?") One of its known effects in the brain is to increase impulsivity and risk-taking, which is real fucking convenient honestly. What a fantastic fucking mutation. So happy for it on that one. Yes, please make it seem less important to wear a mask and get vaccinated. I'm not screaming internally at all now.
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I saw a tweet from someone last year whose family hadn't had COVID yet, who were still masking in public, including school.
She said that her son was no kind of an athlete. Solidly bottom middle of the pack in gym.
And suddenly, this year, he was absolutely blowing past all the other kids who had to run the mile. He wasn't running any faster. His times weren't fantastic or anything. It's just that the rest of the kids were worse than him now. For some reason. I think about that a lot. (Like my incredibly active six-year-old getting a cold, and suddenly developing post-viral asthma that looked like pneumonia.
He went back to school the day before yesterday, after being home for a month and using preventative inhalers for almost week.
He told me that it was GREAT - except that he couldn't run as much at recess, because he immediately got really tired. Like how I went outside with him to do some yard work and felt like my body couldn't figure out how to increase breathing and heart rate.
I wasn't physically out of breath, but I felt like I was out of breath. That COVID feeling people describe, of "I'm not getting enough air." Except that I didn't have that problem when I had COVID.) Some people don't observe any long (or medium) term side effects after they have it.
But researchers have found viral reservoirs of COVID-19 in everyone they've studied who had it.
It just seems to hang out, dormant, for... well, longer than we've had an opportunity to observe it, so far.
(I definitely watched that literal horror movie. I think that's an entire genre. The alien dormant under ice in the Arctic.)
(oh hey I don't like that either!!!!!!!!!) All of which is to explain why we should still care about avoiding it, and how it manages to still cause excess deaths. Measuring excess deaths has been a standard tool in public health for a long time.
We know how many people usually die from all different causes, every year. So we can tell if, for example, deaths from heart disease have gone way up in the past three years, and look for reasons. Those are excess deaths: deaths that, four years ago, would not have happened. During the pandemic, excess death rates have been a really important tool. For all sorts of reasons. Like, sometimes people die from COVID without ever getting tested, and the official cause is listed as something else because nobody knows they had COVID. But also, people are dying from cardiovascular illness much younger now.
People are having strokes and heart attacks younger, and more often, than they did before the pandemic started. COVID causes a lot of problems. And some of those problems kill people. And some of them make it easier for other things to kill us. Lung damage from COVID leading to lungs collapsing, or to pneumonia, or to a pulmonary embolism, for example. The Economist built a machine-learning model with a 95% confidence interval that gauges excess death statistics around the world, to tell them what the true toll of the ongoing COVID pandemic has been so far.
Total excess deaths globally in 2023: Three million.
3,000,000.
Official COVID-19 deaths globally so far: Seven million. 7,000,000. Total excess deaths during COVID so far: Thirty-five point two million. 35,200,000.
Five times as many.
That's bad. I don't like that at all. I'm glad last year was less than a tenth of that. I'm not particularly confident about that continuing, though, because last year we started a period of really high COVID transmission. Case rates higher than 90% of the rest of the pandemic. Here's their data, and charts you can play with, and links to detailed information on how they did all of this:
Here's a non-paywalled link to it:
https://archive.vn/2024.01.26-012536/https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/coronavirus-excess-deaths-estimates
Oh: here's a link to where you can buy comfy, effective N95 masks in all sizes:
Those ones are about a buck each after shipping - about $30 for a box of 30. They also have sample packs for a dollar, so you can try a couple of different sizes and styles.
You can wear an N95 mask for about 40 total hours before the effectiveness really drops, so that's like a dollar for a week of wear.
They're also family-owned and have cat-shaped masks and I really love them. These ones are cuter and in a much wider range of colors, prints, and styles, but they're also more expensive; they range from $1.80 to $3 for a mask. ($18-$30 for a box of ten.)
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suguann · 8 days
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He has a feeling that the new girl running the front desk at the gym is going to be a problem—a distraction disguised in a gym uniform polo and khaki pants.
It starts with you smiling too brightly as he walks in one morning, all teeth and that little twinkle in your eye that feels like trouble when you scan his membership card.
“Good morning, Mr. Riley.” 
“It’s just Simon,” he tells you as he takes his card off the counter. 
The following day, it’s the same, except Johnny is there to make it worse.
He nudges Simon with his elbow. “She’s kinda pretty, huh?”
“Say it any louder, and she’ll hear you, mate,” he grumbles.
Simon’s not blind; of course, he knows you’re pretty, but he doesn’t have time to commit to anything outside of work—even if you smile at him like you’re happy to see him and how he’ll think about it later: on missions, at his desk, during morning runs. His head is nothing short of woven webs with thoughts of you stuck in the middle.
Honestly, it’s that you—
(You try to make small talk with him every morning, and Simon is starting to think it’s just for him because on the days he doesn’t come alone, you merely scan his card and go back to reading the open paperback book on the desk.)
It’s weird because it’s almost like you—
(He bumps into you at the supermarket and makes a dumb joke about carrots that makes you laugh. It makes him a little tongue-tied and awkward afterward because he realizes he hasn’t talked to a woman outside of only wanting a quick fuck in a really long time, but more importantly, he wants to hear it again. 
Instead, he tosses potatoes in his cart and walks away.)
He tells himself it means nothing, or not how Simon wants it to.
You’re just…he’s not even sure; acquaintances? Maybe more than that, but less than friends. Somewhere in that odd in-between phase where he only knows bits and pieces but not the whole picture.
Sometimes, he wishes—
(Simon doesn’t know what he’s doing the first time he invites you to meet the guys from work on a night out. He’s dated around a few times and had his fair share of hook-ups, but this isn’t like that. His palms are sweaty, more than usual, and no amount of wiping them on the thighs of his jeans keeps them dry.
Then you walk into the bar in a dress that’s probably too light for early spring in London—even though he stares appreciatively at the long expanse of your legs as you walk up to the table—and he wishes he wasn’t introducing you as his friend.)
But you—
(A new development happens after you slip him your phone number on one of the gym’s business cards—it’s weird that we don’t have each other’s numbers, so message me sometime or whatever—and he messages you ‘hey’ right before he leaves for a mission a few days later. 
It slowly shifts and changes over time.
You start sending him texts in the morning. Never an actual good morning text, but of the dogs you take on walks, the sunrise, the new flower box in your window. Somehow, it’s better.)
You really are—
(His house feels too hot, and he’s distracted from the movie by how close you are, how your leg drapes over his under the blanket, fingers fisting into his sweater at his stomach that clenches. An ache that grows, throbbing, spreading from his abdomen to his groin.
It feels monumental—something more than the gentle touch to the elbow to squeeze by each other in his entryway earlier or giving you his jacket that night at the bar—a tilt of the axis that makes the messy pieces fall neatly into place. 
He must be staring because you glance up at him, smiling, and the sound from the TV turns into white noise in the background.
“Can I…would you—fucking hell,” Simon runs a hand through his hair. “Can I kiss you?”
When your lips press against his, and his hands are pulling you onto his lap, where you settle hotly against his dick tenting in his jeans, he wonders why neither of you has done this before. Just kissing—him licking the seam of your mouth, and you panting his name.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” you mumble, lips brushing his.
“Me too,” and he fists his hand into the hair at your nape and pulls you back to his mouth.)
“I knew you’d be trouble,” he tells you one day, glaring at the bloke further down the bar who tried making a swipe at your ass before Simon showed up, towering over his shoulder with your fruity cocktail in hand.
“Oh, yeah?” you giggle, leaning into his side.
“Yeah,” the corners of his mouth quirk, though he hides it when he presses a kiss against your temple. “A real pain in my ass, love.”
“But yours.”
This time, he does smile. “Yes, but mine.”
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Masterlist
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procrastinatie · 8 months
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i think i can be a misandrist for a little while because a guy basically asked me to send feet pics via insta with some weird excuse for it after i helped him find a certain street he was searching
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augustinewrites · 8 months
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“babe. baaaabe. babe!”
“what, satoru?” you ask sharply, looking up from your laptop to where your boyfriend has spread himself across your couch, his legs in shoko’s lap. 
he lifts his shades to look at you. “was i your first crush?”
“yes,” you answer quickly.
you immediately return to the report you’re writing, missing the face shoko makes before she says, “that’s not true.” 
“ieiri,” you whisper harshly, but it’s too late. your boyfriend’s already jumped off the couch to lean his palms against your desk. 
“what? i wasn’t your first?!”
“you were,” you insist, glaring at your friend. “shoko is clearly misremembering things.”
“am i though?”
“you know what, it’s fine,” gojo sighs, slipping his shades back on and rolling the sleeve of his t-shirt up so he can flex. “obviously i’m way cooler than whatever lame schmuck high school you was crushing on.”
behind him, shoko’s scoff is the final nail in your coffin. “nanami is way cooler than you ever were.”
you slap your forehead, bracing yourself for gojo’s inevitable overreaction. 
but he doesn’t get the chance, interrupted by a light knock against your doorframe from, you guessed it, nanami kento.
“yaga said you wanted to see me?”
cue overreaction.
“you had a crush on— on him?” 
nanami swats gojo’s finger away from his cheek. 
“oh my god,” your boyfriend breathes, currently experiencing a quarterlife crisis. “you liked this emo nemo?”
nanami ignores him, sending you a questioning look. “he doesn’t know?”
“what is it now?” satoru asks, slumping back into the couch. “did you guys go on a date or something?” 
your lack of answer is enough for him to let his head fall back rather dramatically. 
“can you blame her?” shoko asks. “he was sexy back then. in an edgy, mysterious kind of way. meanwhile, you were like…if a string bean made love to a cauliflower.” 
even gojo doesn’t have a witty retort prepared for that. 
you decide to clear this up once and for all. “it wasn’t just about looks. you were busy after— after riko. you didn’t have time for a relationship or…for me. you wanted to get stronger and i didn’t want to get in your way.”
“you wouldn’t have been—”
“i would have.” you shrug. because you know him, and you know what he was like. “and that’s okay because we were still kids, satoru. and it was only one date! no need to get so torn up about it!”
_____
“what is this?” you ask later that night, when you find satoru hauling a huge box into your apartment.
“it’s a bowflex!” gojo explains proudly, patting the unopened box. “shoko said that i was built like a string bean, so i’m gonna buff up like nanami! and when megumi moves out next year, i’m gonna turn his room into a gym.”
you lean in the doorway, amused. nanami also has a home gym. “is that why you’re also wearing a suit and tie instead of your usual uniform?”
he does a show spin, letting you take it all in. you don’t even want to know how much it must have cost. “do you like it?” 
“you do look very handsome.” 
“i know,” he winks, cocky as ever. “now watch this.”
he brushes a few strands of hair over his eyes, lowering his voice a few octaves as he says, “taxes. office work. satoru, i respect you so much!”
you walk up to him, brushing the hair back to press a kiss to his forehead. “nanami would never say that last thing, but i do like the effort.” 
he loops his arms around your waist, returning the kiss and murmuring against your skin, “did it turn you on though? maybe i should get an office job—”
“satoru,” you whine, resting your forehead against his chest. “it was just a short-lived crush. and it was forever ago! i’m pretty sure you’ve had crushes that weren’t me.”
“nope,” he hums, resting his chin atop your head. “all i’ve ever wanted is you. all i’ve ever needed…is you.” 
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After Your Man - LN
Summary: Lando's girlfriend is present for the Quadrant video with AngryGinge
Just so AngryGinge and reader have a bond, this is ginger!reader, might have like the slightest hint of jealous Lando. Just slightly. edit: PSA, may have been self indulgent (as usual) bc i am in fact ginger 😚
Also going to call AngryGinge - Ginge just for ease and Fifakills - Ethan bc their online usernames are long :D
No part 2 requests please
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Y/n grimaces as she wakes up to the sound of several voices in Lando's apartment. She knew the plans for the day obviously, but Lando's attempt to wake her up had been such a failure, neither of them are certain as to why he tried.
Y/n never wakes up as early as Lando.
Loud laughter does nudge her into getting up, purely because fomo is so real when it comes to dating Lando. He's always having fun and she always wants to be part of that.
"Hey...there she is." Lando grins as y/n appears, she pulled on some clothes, mainly just some shorts and a stolen hoodie. "Did we wake you up?"
"Yes." Y/n smiles as she slides her hands around his waist when he pulls her in for a hug. "It's alright though, I deserve it for not waking up when you tried to get me out of bed."
"Sorry. Uh...Ethan you know, but this is Ginge. Ginge, this is y/n." Lando states politely introducing the two.
"Hold on. So what I'm seeing here, first of all this is like a different man. He's just went from breaking balls to absolute mush in 0.1 of a second." Ginge exclaims making y/n grin. "Second, Lando...I'm seeing gingers are your type."
"Should've seen that one coming." Lando sighs while y/n moves to get her own breakfast.
"Just to let you know, y/n. Your man is after Ginge." Ethan comments making her turn from where she's reaching for her own breakfast, something more interesting than Lando's planned out diet.
"You can have him if you can handle him in a bad mood." Y/n teases making Lando's jaw drop. "Also, this apartment is usually a mess. He cleaned up for you guys so just know this is clean."
Lando tsks at her before they continue eating and making food before Lando announces they're going to work out. Though as Ethan seems to lead Ginge out of the kitchen, Lando moves over to y/n moving up behind her and grabbing her ass in a hand.
"Are you coming to join in?"
"I'll finish making breakfast then come join." Y/n nods before smiling when Lando's hand comes up to her neck and he gently pulls her head to tilt before so he can give her a kiss.
"Oi! Are you coming or what?" Ginge exclaims from the home gym.
"Go on." Y/n smiles nudging him back by using the weight of her body to push back on him. "I'll catch up."
Lando disappears and y/n sighs just making herself a bowl of fruit before she moves to find Lando jogging past her.
"Hey, why is his workout bands in the bedroom? What are the two of you doing in there?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." Y/n smiles while placing herself behind the camera man to eat her breakfast.
"Oh bloody hell! Lando, your girlfriend is a right nympho." Ginge exclaims as Lando reappear with the bands. "So are you going to be joining in, y/n?"
"Lando doesn't let me to the neck thing. He thinks I'll hurt myself." Y/n states pulling a face while Lando rolls his eyes.
"No, tell them the truth why I don't let you do it."
"I...did it once and like tweaked my neck." Y/n grins earning a hum and nod from her boyfriend since he is not going to be painted the bad guy. "So I'm not allowed."
Ginge and Ethan exchange a look while Lando decides to just get on with the video. Being a witness to Ginge constantly flirting with Lando is honestly just one of the best forms of entertainment y/n has ever been a witness to.
"You know, I have to ask. How did you end up bagging a ginger bird?" Ginge asks making y/n choke on air while Lando doesn't know how to react, sort of waiting to see if she's unimpressed or not. "I'm just saying, they're rare. Y/n, you are very beautiful. Obviously, because you're ginger. But how did he get his hands on you?"
"I don't know if you're asking serious or not and want a serious answer." Y/n states making the group laugh around her.
"No, she's genuinely out of your league mate. All gingers are above you." Ginge declares making y/n nod and move to stand with the streamer.
"You know, I like you. Going to form a defence up against Lando."
"New video is going to be, Lando's girlfriend leaves him for AngryGinge." Ginge grins throwing his arm over y/n's shoulder while she laughs with him.
"You two look like brother and sister." Lando comments with a laugh, though y/n now it's code for "get back over here before I drag you back over here".
"Anyway, you guys have other stuff to do."
"Yeah, and you're coming with us to the cryogenic chamber." Lando smirks while y/n grimaces. "You love it."
"You know I don't." Y/n pouts moving forward closer to him but he only grins at her then kissing her lightly.
"It's going to be so fun." Lando grins earning a groan.
-
Y/n stands off to the side while they talk for the video. Everyone down to underwear though Lando did quickly realise that y/n being in underwear with the boys was not something he was really eager for but it was too late to change his mind now.
"Oh I hate you so much." Y/n pants hugging herself while Lando laugh.
Y/n is not a fan of anything cold, but extreme colds are definitely not something that puts her in a good mood. Though as soon as they're out, y/n is the quickest to get dressed and layer up.
"Alright, let's get out of here." Lando sighs moving to leave quickly, pulling y/n around so she's holding his hand as they walk. "Lunch time."
By the time they get back and Lando presents his meal to the other boys y/n bursts out in laughter at the reactions.
"Oi, are you not eating this too?" Ginge asks making her grin moving to him and looking over his shoulder at the poke bowl.
"I have my own meals that I eat. Lucky me, I'm not on a regime." Y/n states then moving away.
"What are you eating then?" Ginge questions earning a sigh as she stops and turns around, looking at him like she's torn between flicking his ear and walking away to entirely ignore the question.
"You know...you're kind of like a toddler with all these questions." Y/n comments watching his jaw drop while Lando and Ethan begin laughing at her before she continues walking to grab her pesto pasta. Not exactly more exciting than Lando's meal, but certainly something she enjoys more.
"Ah, what the fuck? That looks way better than this." Ginge exclaims as y/n sits out of frame but quickly finds herself with the camera directed at her. "Sharing is caring, y/n. Gingers gotta stick together."
Y/n can't even stop herself from laughing then does a bit of a move of pity and dishes out about a quarter of her meal into his bowl.
"You're an angel. An angel. Much nicer than your boyfriend."
"Yeah she is." Lando smiles not even hiding his adoration for her while she seems to try and redirect attention to the game of jenga. Though once the camera is looking away from her, Lando manages to kiss her temple a couple times.
-
By the end of the day y/n has formed possibly more of a friendship with Ginge than Lando had expected to form himself.
"Alright, Ginge." Y/n laughs as he gives her a tight hug. "It was good meeting you."
"You too. Here, don't let him forget he's blessed to have a red haired girlfriend."
"I'm never going to hear the fucking end of this now." Lando groans earning a grin from his girlfriend before she kisses either of Ginge's cheeks which promptly turn pink.
"Oh you've embarrassed him now." Ethan laughs while y/n grins and moves back a couple steps.
"You are always always always welcome back and we'll have to find a way to see you again over in England." Y/n smiles then hugging Ethan. "I'm sure we'll see you soon too."
"Ahaha, I love it. I'm the favourite guest clearly." Ginge cackles as y/n shifts back.
Eventually the two have left and Lando grumbles looking at the young woman who grins at him.
"That was fun."
"You think?" Lando hums shifting a hand up to move some of her hair behind her ear then twisting a few strands around one finger. "Next time Ginge is around I'm tying your wrist to mine."
"Oh no, has jealous Lando been triggered to the surface?" Y/n teases earning a fake smile before he kisses her in quite a long and heavy kiss before pulling back just enough to look at her, one hand still playing with her hair while she frowns a little. "What?"
"I never tell you how much I like your hair, do I?"
"You don't have to." Y/n laughs feeling a little nervous all of a sudden. "Especially not just because Ginge got all excited about you dating someone with this hair colour."
"I love you hair, not because of him...and I think I should...show you exactly how much I love you hair. Especially since I saw you spend the whole day checking me out." Lando smirks continuing with slow and heavy kisses as he manages to pick her up and pull her legs up around his waist. "After watching you spend the whole day loving Ginge, I think I gotta remind you who you're supposed to be flirting with."
"I had to do something to get your attention. You've been flirting with Ginge all day. I knew he'd be after my man to that extent." Y/n giggles before grinning when Lando rushes her to their bedroom.
Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos
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lovebugism · 2 months
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Im a very indecisive person but I guess I'll go with “Surprise, I have feelings and you just hurt them.” with Eddie, if you have any inspiration for this prompt 💕
ty for requesting!! — you get mean when you like someone, so eddie thinks you hate him (grump!reader, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, shameless succession reference, 1.9k)
“Please, tell me you’re joking,” you mumble through the melting vanilla shake on your tongue.
Robin grins at you across the table and shakes her head. “Nope,” she says, popping the p. “You are officially looking at Vicki Carmichael’s latest odyssey.”
You and Eddie look over your shoulder at Steve. He stands at the front counter and fumbles with the straw dispenser — hitting the lever repeatedly, with an increasingly rougher touch when nothing comes out. He flounders when they all spill out at once. 
He’s lucky he’s so pretty.
“Wait, I’m confused,” Eddie announces from beside you after stealing a sip of your milkshake. He squints and fights off a brain freeze. “Why didn’t he just tell us? He’s screwing the hottest girl in town— it feels like something he’d brag about.”
“I’m sitting right here,” you scoff, mostly kidding.
“‘Cause he knew you guys would totally ream him for it,” Robin answers and pinches fry crumbs into her mouth. Through a mouthful of them, she says, “It’s not like you’re usually supportive about this kinda stuff.”
“I’m all for Steve being a slut, okay?” you defend with your hands up in surrender. “But I do draw the line at my best friend fucking the girl who bullied me in high school.”
“What’d she do?” Eddie asks. You can’t tell if he really cares or if he just wants something new to laugh at you for, but you decide to humor him anyway.
“She cut out the boobs of my gym shirt before class because she knew if I dressed out again, I was getting detention,” you explain, smiling when it makes the table laugh. “I had to run the mile with my bright pink sports bra showing, but at least my record was clean.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Steve wonders aloud when he returns to the table, carrying the only straw that hadn’t fallen to the floor. He slides into the booth next to Robin and looks at the three of you expectantly.
“Nothing.” the brunette girl chirps.
“You,” Eddie deadpans.
You squint. “Real smooth, Munson.”
“Wait, what?”
Eddie laughs. “I mean, Vicki Carmichael? Seriously?”
Steve gapes at Robin, features yawned in betrayal. “You told them?” 
The girl shrugs, taking a big bite of her burger and playing coy.
“She’s hot and everything, but she’s really not your type, man.”
Steve’s eyes narrow across the table. “What’s that supposed to mean, freak?”
“She likes bad boys,” you answer for him, shrugging like it’s obvious. “You know, the Billy Hargrove types. With tattoos and leather jackets and long hair. And, no offense, but you’re the furthest thing from that.”
“I think you just described me, doll,” Eddie laughs.
“Weren’t you screwing around with Billy Hargrove a couple months ago?” Steve wonders with a knowing, honeyed squint.
“Shut up, Harrington,” you bite.
Eddie grins with all his teeth, pink and boyish and proud. “Oh, so you’re screwing guys that are just like me now, huh? I’m flattered.”
“If anything, you’re the dollar store version of Billy Hargrove, Munson,” you retort with a roll of your eyes, turning your attention to the milkshake in front of you. You stab holes in the thick ice cream and try to ignore the sudden attention.
All the eyes on you make you nervous. You were never good at being the butt of the joke. ‘Cause when you get embarrassed, you get mean. Like some kinda hurt dog.
“You have everything but the looks.”
“Fuck off,” Eddie snorts and snatches the frosted glass away from you. He slides it over to his side of the table and sips from the straw that has your lipstick stained on the tip of it. “You can’t insult me—”
“Can’t I?”
“—Not when you’re fucking a carbon copy of me,” he scoffs and tries to ignore the jealousy burning wildfires behind his ribcage.
“He’s nothing like you,” you insist.
“He’s exactly like me. Just blonde. And watered down,” Eddie argues, face twisted with disgust. He smiles when it makes everyone else laugh but you. “I mean, it’s kinda sad, actually. I turned you down, so you had to try it out with Hargrove?”
“I didn’t try it, first of all, I fucking conquered it,” you retort, not exactly joking but grinning when it makes Steve and Robin chuckle to themselves. “And second of all, I never wanted you, Munson. So there was never anything to turn down.”
Your words sting somewhere deep in his chest. Like there’s a knife lodged deep in his heart that aches every time he breathes. He doesn’t know what to do with this hurt other than hurt you back. 
“So that night you told me you liked me after my show— that was all a lie?” he asks, smirking to hide his ache.
Robin’s eyes go wide as she bites into her burger. “What is this? A sleepover?” she scoffs with her mouth full. “Why is everyone telling each other’s secrets?”
“You started it, Buckley,” Steve quips before stealing one of her fries.
Your answer is immediate. A total lie, but instant nonetheless. No one’s gonna out-insult you. Rarely ever do you come out of petty arguments without having drawn the most blood.
“Yeah! You bombed, and I felt bad, and I wanted to make you feel better,” you confess with a sinister giggle. “What I really wanted to say is that I wish your mom had given birth to a can opener because at least then it might be good at something.”
Eddie meets your smirk with a glower, something genuinely pained that makes your chest sting. You refuse to show it, though. Not even when he slides out of the booth. “Yeah, okay. Fuck you,” he mumbles to himself as he goes.
“What?” you scoff a cynical laugh.
“C’mon,” Steve murmurs quietly to you. “That was a little too far.”
“Oh, so he can make fun of me, but I can make fun of him?”
“It’s different. You know that.”
You roll your eyes even though you know he’s right. Eddie’s a clown, but he means well. He’s a dumbass because he doesn’t know how to be serious about anything, but he’s hardly ever outright mean. 
You’re made of something more hardened than that. You set fires all around you, and only when a person walks through it do you know they really care. You don’t mean to be so mean half the time. It’s a defense mechanism more than anything. A time-bomb you never really learned to defuse.
“It was a joke, Eds!” you shout as he storms the short distance to the entrance of the diner.
“Well, surprise. I have feelings—” he grins, though there’s little emotion behind it. The door dings over his head when he shoves it open. He reaches for the crushed packet of cigarettes in his pocket. “—And you just hurt them.”
The diner feels strangely silent with him gone. The air feels noticeably heavy, too. 
You reach for the milkshake he left on his side of the table and slide it audibly back over to you. You don’t sip from it, though. Your stomach’s too much in knots now. You just busy your fidgeting hands with it, holding the frosted glass in your delicate palms until they ache.
“Stop staring at me,” you mumble, not meeting the silent looks Robin and Steve give you across the booth.
“Go talk to him before you give him a complex.”
“Yeah,” the boy hums with a knowing smile. “Go kiss and make up.”
“Shut up,” you bite with a scrunched-together face. You deflate with a sigh. “Fine. I’ll go— but not because you told me to.”
You hear them laugh quietly to themselves as you walk out behind Eddie. 
He leans against the corner of the old building and blows smoke from his lungs. He looks relatively unfazed despite the circumstances. You swallow down the worry that you’re embarrassing yourself by being out here at all.
Your shoes scuff against the sidewalk as you near him. “Eds—”
“I’m fine,” he interjects before you can say anything real. “You don’t need to apologize.”
“Well, it’s too late. Steve and Robin already kicked me out here, so…” You trail off in a monotone, despite having already declared that you were out here not because you were told to be. He doesn’t need to know that, though. “…I’m sorry.”
He takes a puff of the cigarette between his fingers, then shrugs on the exhale. “Okay.”
“The can opener thing was stupid— I mean, it wasn’t nice either, but it was a really dumb joke,” you ramble without taking a single breath. You cross your arms over yourself in a makeshift shield. “You didn’t even bomb that night. At your show or whatever. I lied. You were… You were actually really good.”
Eddie turns his head slowly. He blinks at you with chocolate eyes sparkling with amusement.
You cower under his stare. “What?”
“I know what you’re doing,” he insists with a crooked smile.
“What?” you repeat, forcing a laugh.
“You’re fucking with me,” he chuckles and brings the cig back to his mouth. He mumbles through the stick. “But it’s cool, you know? I can cope.”
“I’m being serious, Eddie,” you argue. And then, when your chest starts to sting, it becomes impossible not to make a joke. “I think you’re a… super-talented superstar—”
“You’re such a fucking bitch,” he interjects with a sincere laugh, like honey and gunpowder.
You giggle, and the foreign tension ebbs.
“I’m just kidding,” you assure and prop your back against the wall beside him. “Well, I mean, I’m not, but I…” You stammer when you can’t find the words. You gesture wildly with your hands. “I do think you’re talented, it’s just— It’s hard for me to be serious, okay? But I am sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he assures, tossing the cigarette to the ground and snuffing the ash with his sneaker. “Trust me. I know what you mean.”
You swallow hard. “And I wasn’t… What I said to you that night, in your van after the show… I wasn’t lying.”
Eddie’s head snaps up. He blinks at you with a gaping gaze, even though you’re not looking at him to see it. You’re much more focused on the dumpster across the street, lest you meet his eyes and get embarrassed all over again. 
This is the realest you’ve ever been with him, you think — since you told him you liked him and he all but turned you down.
Being vulnerable has been impossible since then.
“Then why’d you never talk to me about it again?” he asks, then stammers over himself. “You acted like it never even happened— I thought I fucking— like, dreamt it or some shit.”
“Because you didn’t say anything back! I thought you didn’t feel the same way!”
“I was just— I was just shocked. You always act like you hate me!”
“Because I like you, you idiot!” you blurt before you mean to, then huff with impatience at yourself. “Fuck. Sorry. I don’t know… I don’t know how to be nice to people I like.”
“It’s okay,” Eddie laughs, shifting on the brick wall until his shoulder rubs against it. He looks down at you like he’s seeing you for the very first time — glittering with the hope of finally getting close to you, of finally having something real.
“Don’t laugh!” you argue. “I’m trying really hard here!”
“I know,” he murmurs lowly, leaning in until you can taste the nicotine on his breath. In a honeyed tone, he confesses, “It’s a good thing I like you mean, then, huh?”
Your heart lurches into your throat. He smirks when you freeze, and knocks his shoulder against yours when he heads back into the diner.
The game of cat and mouse continues.
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westernsunshine · 1 year
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I’ve got a pokemon that’s been in a gym for over three weeks and one of the three people defending the gym with me has fed it so many berries that it’s at 3/4 health again. Why are you prolonging my suffering???
#i want to stress that everyone else in the gym has been there as long as me if not longer#and like.. we only get 50 coins maximum no matter how long we hold the gym. which is SO fucking annoying but this is hardly my first rodeo#i live in a rural area and awhile ago i left two really good pokemon in a village even smaller than where i live and it took me over a month#to get one of them back. the other was gone like 10 days i think#now i have a specific pool of pokemon i try to leave in gyms. i go for anything in the 1700-1900 range#strong enough that it won’t be defeated immediately but also won’t be missed because i’m not exactly going to use it in battle#also i’m perpetually low on potions and revives so it has to be something that can be out of action for a while without hurting me#i did stupidly leave an overpowered ursaluna in another rural gym though because i panicked and saw it was a shiny gym#and unfortunately the first shiny i saw was the said overpowered ursaluna#it’s been there a week. i have like 4 more so it’s fine but like.. seriously#sometimes i feel like i’m the only person in this town playing pogo but then some asshole 12 year old knocks me out of a gym when i’ve been#there for 53 minutes and i’m like ‘ah. nevermind’#i just want to know the logic of the person who fed my omanyte something like 54 berries. like are they trying to break a record?#we’re nowhere near a record if so. if you don’t believe me you can ask my alakazam who was at a random pub for 32 days and about 17 hours#oh god or my raichu who defended a basketball hoop for even longer than that#like maybe i’m just salty because i want coins so i can buy a remote raid pass. i love raiding but there’s no way i’m going out physically#to do it in december. like. niantic i don’t think you realise that i live in north yorkshire. my dog stares at me like ‘are you fucking#serious’ every time i try to take her out. she has to wear a COAT. she’s a long haired dog#plus every gym in my village is some sort of outdoor feature like a war memorial or a school playground. and i don’t drive so it’s not like#i could even sit in a car. and some of them aren’t even near roads!! do you really expect me to hike 30 minutes to the basketball hoop#IN SLEET to raid god knows what. by myself. it simply isn’t going to happen. not when i can hop on pokegenie and find someone#who is probably in a hotter climate or at least a better-placed gym & needs help#but first I NEED IDIOTS TO STOP FEEDING MY OMANYTE BERRIES!!!!! LET 👏🏻 HIM 👏🏻 DIE 👏🏻#thank you for listening#personal
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luvyeni · 4 months
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❛COCKBLOCKERS❜ ( 00' liners )
authors note. based on a dream i had 😊 enjoy !
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p. roommate!00' line x fem!reader w. 6.4k+
— 𖦹 warnings. unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, oral ( f. receiving ), dirty talk, haechan is a munch, size kink ( jeno duh.)
— 𖦹 ( living with four boys isn't easy for your sex life , but luckily your roommates are here for you) !
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“Do you even masturbate?”
Living with haechan for almost 2 years, you were pretty used to these questions — to the point were you don’t even flinch at the questions anymore. “Of course I do, i'm human haechan.”
“Yeah but i've never caught you, and i've caught just about everyone who lives in this apartment.” He was referring to your other roommates; jaemin, jeno and renjun — who were also used to his antics. “That’s because jaemin has a exhibition kink and jeno is a himbo so he forgets to lock the door, I've caught both of them multiple times.” Jaemin shrugged, smirking. “Can’t say you’re wrong.”
“Im not a himbo.” Jeno looked up from his phone. “Whatever you say, renjun is the only one I haven’t caught, because like me he’s smart enough to lock his door.” You said, speaking of the boy who finally exited his room. “What about locking my door.” He said. “She talking about when you masturbate.” Your eyes widened at haechan completely taking what you said out of context.
“W-why are you talking about that?” he cough, rubbing the back of his red neck. “Haechans bitch ass took that out of context don’t worry.” You threw the pillow at the boy, he dramatically fell back. “So where do you do it?” He asked, picking the pillow up. “In my room or in the shower, jesus haechan not everyone gets off in the open spaces.” You said.
“Wh-why are you guys having this conversation right now?” Renjun finally asked the right question. “Because jaemin and haechan think she’s asexual because we’ve never seen a boy come in and out of this apartment for her, and she never leaves the house.” You scoffed at jeno, meanwhile renjun regretted asking the question. “In other words, she’s not getting any dick.”
You scoffed, and that totally wasn’t your fault. “Well im sorry but not many guys like the or are comfortable fucking in a apartment when you have a mans voice yelling ‘yn where’s the chopstick for the ramen!’ or ‘yn how do start the washer!’ You mock their voices. “it’s kind of a turn off.”
“But that doesn’t stop you from leave and getting some.” Jaemin said. “You would think, but it seems like everyone on campus seems to think we’re in a big poly relationship, thanks to haechan being the alcoholic he is.” You said, remember the party a year ago. “What did I do?” You scoffed. “You got on a table and yelled it in front of half of the campus.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Yeah, so thanks to you 3 cockblockers im reduced to using my fingers as a form of release.” You stood up. “Is this conversation done now, can I go to my room?” You didn’t wait for a answer, you just kept walking. “3 ? What about renjun? Jeno asked. “He knows where the chopsticks are, he also knows how to start the washer and hold his alcohol.” You walked past the boy, smiling. “Good job renjun, for not being the reason im involuntary celibate.”
He watched you walk all the way to your room, closing your door. “Why does she always defend you?” Haechan said, renjun shrugged. “Does she want to fuck you or something?” Jaemin laughed. “More like he wants to fuck her.” Renjun felt his face heating up again, quickly walking back to his room.
“Well no shit look at her, who in this house doesn’t want to fuck her.” Jeno shook his head. “Don’t try and judge me jeno, you were the first one to say you wanted to fuck her.” Jeno stood up, putting his phone away. “Yeah I did, and I still do.” He said. “But I don’t act like a bitchless loser either.” He picked up his gym bag. “Hey! Im not bitchless.” The boy fought back. “Whatever you say, maybe don’t ask her if she’s asexual or training to be a nun and she’ll fuck you.” He left out the house.
“Haechannie.” Jaemin stood up, “Don’t give up, she’ll come around and find something appealing on you." He looked the boy up and down, patting his shoulder in a comforting way. “maybe.” He left leaving the boy to pout in the livingroom.
“Well shit, now im horny.”
There was a knock on your door, you looked up from your show playing on the computer as the door slowly opened, renjun popping his head in. “I just wanted to see if you were still up, and to not let what haechan said bother you, it’s okay if you don’t do that stuff all the time.” He said, you smiled. “Whatever comes out of haechans mouth will never make me upset, he’s harmless.”
He chuckled, “More like demented, but I get it.” You laughed in return, making him smile. “Is that it?” you asked and he nodded. “Yeah, im going to bed, i'll see you in the morning, goodnight.” You waved. “Goodnight renjun.”
“Stupid fucking professors.” You dropped your bag on the ground in anger. “Whoa.” Jaemin stood in the kitchen. “What’s wrong with you?” You opened the refrigerator door, grabbing a beer. “Oh you must be stressed, it’s 12 and you’re drinking.” He said. “I am.” You cracked open the can, taking a big gulp of the beer, sighing.
“My professors moved my essay date up until this week, because she won’t be in next week.” You took another sip. “how is it my fault her sister is going into labor, does her sister have incompetent husband.”
Jaemin saw how angrier you were getting with every sip, deciding to intervene. “okay love that’s enough.” He took the can from your hand. “You’re stressed, drinking isn’t gonna solve it.” You sighed, rubbing your temples, leaning over the counter. “I’m gonna drop out.” He laughed, knowing you didn’t mean it. “You’re adorable.”
You glared at him as he stood next to you, the dishes he was doing long forgotten, instead he was staring at you. “Im about to break down and that’s all you have to say,  im adorable.” He nodded, you pouted. “Don’t make that face, you’re making it hard for me.”
You tilted your head in confusion. “What do you mean?” You eyes widened as he got closer and closer — pressing you against the counter. “It’s hard to not want to not stick my hand in these sweats of yours and help you distress — I hate seeing you all stressed.” He was extremely close, his nose brushing against yours gently.
“Jaemin.” You sighed, grabbing his bicep. “We ca— you’re stressed aren’t you baby?” He said, you nodded. “This is what I do when im stressed, I get off and I know your little fingers won’t pleasure you enough.” He said. “I didn’t want to say anything yesterday cause I didn’t want to get haechan started, but I hear you sometimes, when you’re touching yourself.”
eyes widened in horror — you couldn’t believe he heard you. “Oh my god.” You whined. “This is so embarrassing.” You covered your face, but he quickly removed your hands. “Don’t be, those pretty gasp and whines coming from your room are like music.” He said. “But I know it’s not enough is it?” His fingers danced along your waistband. “Not enough to make you satisfied?”
You moaned softly, he smirked. “Listen to you baby, I know you want it, just let me help you distress.” He said, pulling at the waistband letting it snap at your waist. “When im done we don’t even have to talk about it.” He said, but you could hear the condescending tone in his voice. “But you might want more.”
You thought about it, what’s the worst that could happen, it will be awkward for a few days then you’ll go back to being normal — you could do that definitely – you once avoided renjun when you walked on him in the shower, and then you went right back to talking to him like nothing happen, and he let it go like nothing happened. “Princess don’t think too hard, hurt that pretty little head.”
You sighed — his hands waiting at your waistband waiting for you to give him the go. “And it won’t be awkward?” He nodded. “We won’t speak of it if you want” He reassured, kissing your forehead. “I just want to help you.” He whispered. “Just wanna make you cum.” That did it for you, you grabbed his wrist, guiding his hand into your sweats. “Please touch me.”
He smiled, cupping your clothed heats. “Sh-shit.” You moaned out. “You’re soaked through your panties pretty.” He toyed with your folds through your underwear. “Ja-jaemin.” You sighed, he smiled. “N-no teasing.” You whined, he chuckled. “Okay baby I won’t, I wont.” He said moving your panties to the side, running a finger across your folds. “So wet baby, your pussy is so desperate for me to touch her.”
He pressed a finger at your hole, slowly sinking it in. “Jaemin-” You moaned as his thick finger stretched you out. “Such a tight pussy, poor baby hasn’t had anybody touch her like this in a while has she?” You moaned, shaking your head. “You want another.”
“y-yes.” You moaned as he added another finger, stretching your cunt out more. “Sh-shit your fingers are amazing.” He smirked. “Yeah?” He asked, moving  his fingers in and out of your hole. “My fingers stretching your pretty pussy good?” You nodded, moaning out as his used the pad of his thumb to rub your clit. “Fu-fuck im gonna cum.”
“Go a head, you deserve it princess, cum on my fingers.” He fucked his fingers into your hole faster. “Cum for me.” He said and on his command you came all over his fingers. “Fuck!” You sighed as he stroked your clit with his thumb as you came down from your high. “Jae.” You gasped, grabbing his wrist,  stopping him. “I-I came.”
He chuckled stopping his movements. “You’re evil.” You breathed, he laughed. “But it was fun watching you struggle, and you feel better don’t you?” You nodded, “I do, thank you.”
You both were bought back to reality by a cough. “Want to come back to earth, you’re in the kitchen.” Jeno said, looking at the scene in front of him. “With your hands stuffed in her sweats.” He held his bag in his hand. “Right.” He took his hand out from your pants. Your face was heated with embarrassment of being caught — jaemin on the other hand couldn’t care less. “Thanks to someone I have something take care of.”
Your eye widened — jeno scoffing in amusement as you both watched jaemin brought his hand covered in your juices to his mouth, sucking on them, humming as he exited into his room to do the obvious.
You and jeno stood in a silence — a awkward one before spoke up. “I’m sorry you had to walk in on that.” You stood on the balls of your feet, looking down. “We all need to distress sometimes, next time it should be in your room though, haechan could’ve walked in and that would’ve been— tragic.” You said and he nodded. “also please don’t tell him, I don’t want it to be awkward, renjun either.” He gave you a salute.
“My lips are sealed.” He said, you nodded. “I owe you big time, thank you so much.” You said. “I'm gonna go, see you after your class.” You scurried away to your room, his eyes followed you the entire time.
“Shit.” He sighed to himself, how was he supposed to focus in class with the scene of you moaning while his friend fingered you in his head; and his cock hard against his jeans.
Luckily a few days past and the kitchen incident was never brought up, it was kept a secret between you, jaemin and jeno — like it never happened, well expect when it happened again when everyone wasn’t home again, or when jaemin would look  at you with fuck me eyes that made you flustered, but no one even noticed — at least that’s what you thought.
“I know it’s in here.” You rummaged through his dirty clothes hamper — any other time that would’ve gross you out, going through a grown mans laundry, but your favorite black bra, was in there and you needed to wash it, you were going out on Saturday and you needed it — it made your tits look the best.
“Excuse me.” A voice made you jump turning around. “Shit jeno.” You sighed, calming down. “You scared me.” He lifted his eyebrows in confusion. “I scared you?” He said. “You’re in my room, going through my dirty laundry and I scared you?” He laughed amused.
“Your laundry?” You said, standing fully up. “I thought this was jaemins, it was near his beds.” You said. “Because his bed is closer to the door where I had it because I was gonna wash them later.” He pointed to the closet. “his is in the closet.” You wanted to shrivel up and die. “I'm so sorry.” You quickly put the stuff that fell out, putting it back by the door.
“It’s okay.” He said, sitting his gym bag down. You opened the closet, where his hamper was. “Oh.” You bent down going through, huffing once you realized it wasn’t I there either. “I has to be in here.” You whined.
Jeno couldn’t help it — he is only a man, and you were wearing those shorts that made your ass look so good, he couldn’t help but stare, his cock hardening in his gym shorts. “how was the gym?” You asked as you went through the hamper. “Good.” You didn’t hear the subtle change in his voice.
He was slowly losing it, the way you kept having a conversation with him, with your ass basically in his face, if he looked hard — which he already was, but if he looked harder, he could see the outline of your pussy — you weren’t wearing any panties.
“Fuck.” He cursed, finally snapping. “You have to be doing this on purpose.” He said darkly. “huh?” You turned to him confused. “I mean what you’re looking for can’t be in there, the hamper isn’t that big and you reached the bottom already.” He said. “So you have to know what you’re doing.”
“Do-doing what?” You said , slowing backing up as he stalked you, his eyes low and full of lust. “showing that ass of yours off.” He backed you up against the wall. “I can see your pussy through these shorts.” You bit your lip. “I-im sorry.” You looked up at him your lashes.
He grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. “If I let you go this time will you owe me?” he smirked. “You still owe me for not telling haechan and renjun about you and jaemin.” He said. “should I tell him then? What about when you both did it again on the couch?” How did he know about that. “how did you- you might want to keep it under wraps, but jaemin loves to talk.” He said, his hands squeezing your waist — you whimpered.
“You know I was pretty pissed, finding both of you in that kitchen?” he said. “and when jaemin told me again I was livid.” He pressed his sweaty body against yours, his musky smell from the gym radiating off of him, it was your favorite smell on him. “Wh-why?” You stuttered, he smirked. “Because I wanted to be the one to taste that pussy first.”
You felt his words in your cunt, this was the second time one of your roommates was pressing you against a surface, confessing a dirty thoughts that they had of you. “You’re so hard.” You felt his hard on against your pelvis, twitching in shorts. “Yeah I am, cause of you baby, you gonna help me?”
You weren’t gonna pass this up — you weren’t dumb. “Yeah.” You said , he quickly grabbed your shorts, pushing them down  to your ankles. “No panties baby, you’re really looking to be fucked like a whore.” He tapped your thighs. “Jump.”
He grabbed both of your thighs , his cock was now sitting under your ass. “gonna stretch this pussy out.” He held your body in one arm, quickly undoing his shorts letting them fall to the ground. “Je-jeno please fuck me.” Your voice was whiny, your fingers locked around his neck.
He lifted you up, grabbing the base of his cock holding it as he sunk you down on it. “Sh-shit you’re so fucking tight.” He groaned. “So tiny , you’re pussy is struggling to take me.” You moaned, closing your eyes as he slowly sunk deeper and deeper into your wet cunt. “Of fuck! You’re so big.”
He finally bottomed out, his hand against the wall above your head as he calmed himself down. “Fu-fuck this pussy is gonna make me cum early.” He slowly began to move, his cock hitting all the right spots as he held you against the wall. “Oh my god.” You gasped.
He began to move faster, your head knocked against the wall. “fuck!” you screamed. “Baby, these walls are thin and anyone could walk into the apartment and hear you getting your pussy fucked open by me, unless you want haechan and renjun to know how much a whore you are, cause im pretty sure jaemin already knows, then I suggest you try and shut that pretty mouth of yours.”
His words made you clench around him. “Fu-fuck baby let up, or im gonna cum inside your pussy.” He groaned. “unless that’s what you want.” You moaned out, yanking at hair on his neck. “Pl-please.” You whimpered.
“Fu-fuck you want me to cum inside you?” he grunted, his hips snapped harder against you. “Breed this little cunt up.” He hummed, biting at your neck. “yes!” You screamed. “please cum inside me.” He groaned, his pelvis hitting your clit, along with his cocked continuously hitting your cervix. “Fuck im gonna cum.”
Before you could even warn him again, you came, he felt your cunt spasm around him. “Sh-shit.” He groaned, looking down where your bodies connected a white ring formed around his cock base. “Oh fuck, your pussy is magic -fuck- im gonna cum.” He moaned. “Fuck im cumming , im gonna cum.” He groaned, then you felt his cum leaking into  your womb.
“Shit.” He sighed. “Hold on.” He held you in his arms, sitting down with you in his lap, his cock still inside you. “im gonna pull out now.” You nodded , and his lifted you up, his soft cock slipping out of you. “That felt good.” You said. “Yeah?” He said, you nodded. “I need to shower now.” You got up, he held your arm. “You got it?”
You nodded, legs a little wobbly. “Do you need help?” He asked, your turned to him. “Are you really gonna help or do you want to have shower sex?” He smiled cheekily. “will you let me fuck you if I help you shower after?” You shook your head. “Fine.”
“Wait what were you even looking for?” He asked, taking his shirt off, throwing it in the hamper. “My black bra, im going out on Saturday and I need it.” You said. “The one that makes your tits look good.” You gave him a side eye. “Don’t look at me, of course I look at your tits.” He said, looking down. “Here it is.” He held it in his hand, throwing it in his hamper. “I'll wash it for you.”
“I better get my bra back lee jeno.”
You sat at your desk, finishing up the essay that stressed you out earlier in the week. “finally.” You finally hit the send button. “I hope your sisters husband has a horrible day, cause why are you going on maternity leave for her baby.” You pushed your glasses against your face. “Hey.” Jaemin knocked on the door. “Next time you fuck jeno, don’t leave your shorts in the room.” He tossed them on your bed.
“Thanks.” You said, it almost didn’t phase you showing him the computer. “Look I finished the essay.” You said. “From the other day?” he asked, you shook your head. “I guess my fingers really did wonders didn’t it.” You rolled your eyes. “get out of my room jaemin.” He smirked. “Im just saying , these fingers are magical, look how fast you finished that essay.” You picked up the plushie haechan gave you for your birthday about to chuck it at him, but he quickly shut the door.
“Dumbass.” You turned back to your computer, going over your syllabus for the upcoming week. Your door slowly creaked  open,  you thought it was jaemin, so you picked the toy up, your arm up ready to throw it. “Stop fucking around jaemin.” You threw the toy. “Jaemin?” you swiveled around in the chair, facing the person. “Was he just in here or something? Why are you calling me jaemin?”
“Oh shit haechan my bad, jaemin came to return something to me , and he was fucking around so I had to kick him out my room.” You quickly explained , he walked into your room, you noticed him stumble a bit — he was drunk. “I thought he was fucking around at my door.”
He hummed sitting on your bed, the toy in his hand, his cheeks a dusty red from the alcohol. “Did you have fun with mark and Johnny tonight?” he nodded, you hated when he was quiet, it seemed uncanny. “I did, but it was ruined.” He said. “Ruined?” you questioned. “How was it ruined?”
“I figured out I must be the problem.” He said. “What do you mean hyuck?” You turned in your chair facing him. “I might bit be as witty as jaemin or as strong as jeno or even as smart as renjun, but I thought I at least had some good qualities.” He said, picking at the hair of the toy.
“donghyuck what are you ta– oh.” It finally it you. “Shit, how did you find out?” You said. “I heard jaemin talking about it when I walked into the house.” He said, finally looking at you. “Are you upset?” He scoffed, smiling to himself. “Did you fuck renjun?” You looked at him weird. “no.”
“Good, I refuse to lose to renjun.” He said. “Why are you in a one sided competition with renjun, he hardly comes out of his room?” You said. “Because you don’t see it, but I do, I am man, I saw that jeno and jaemin wanted to fuck you and look what happened.” You rolled your eyes. “You’re deranged, renjun doesn’t want to fuck me.”
“well im not missing my chance and letting him win.” He said, sinking to his knees. “W-what are you doing?” You asked , as he crawled to you. “What does it look like?” He tapped your legs. “Im gonna eat you out.”
He pulled your legs apart, you were only in a oversized shirt, and some underwear. “H-haechan.” You covered your clothed heat. You’re drunk.” He scoffed. “I'm fully aware about what I want, and what I want is to eat your pussy.”
He moved your hand. “Fuck, you smell so good.” He inhaled. “Can’t wait to eat you out.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “hyuck, you’re drunk, you need to sleep.” You said, but he wasn’t listen. “Please, I really want to.” He looked up you, a look in his eyes. “Please.”
He kissed at your thighs. “See I am fully aware.” He kissed your clothed cunt, you sighed, your hands flying to his hair. “You taste so good.” He said licking your folds. “Let me take your panties off and get a full taste.” He said, his voice sounded so breathy, almost like a whimper — it turned you on even more. “that’s all I want, you don’t have to do anything in return.”
“Fu-fuck okay.” You moaned, he smiled kissing your thighs once again. “thank you.” He quickly grabbed the waistband of your panties, you lifted your hips — holding on to the arms of the chair as the air from your aircon hit your cunt. “So pretty.” He said, dipping his head back into your thighs.
“Fuck , such a pretty pussy.” He licked your now exposed folds. “sh-shit haechan.” He sloppily made out with your cunt. “it feels so good, doing so good.” Your praise went straight to his cock, his cock twitched against his pants, he hummed against your cunt. “fu-fucking good boy.”
You tugged at his hair with one hand, holding the arm of the chair, pushing him deeper and deeper into your cunt. “Hyuck, fuck!” You yelped. “Fuck im gonna cum.” He pulled away, his lips and bottom lip covered in your juices — his eyes completely blown. “Please cum.” His fingers strung at your clit, he looked up at you. “I want you to cum in my mouth.” He said. “Please I want it.”
“Fuck im cumming.” He put his mouth back on your cunt, your legs tightened around his head, cumming — haechan catching all of it, getting even more intoxicated. “Haechan.” You whined as he cleaned up his mess, pulling away. “Did I do good?”
You ran your hand through his messy hair. “yes, you did.” He smiley like a fool. “You like being called good boy" You smirked. “Are you- are you a sub.” He pinched your thigh, you hissed, tugging at his hair. “im not a sub.” He said. “Just being called good boy by you turns me on.”
“So it’s just me?” You smirked, he could hear the condescending tone. “If you tell anybody then I’ll deny.” He said. “Too bad the entire fucking apartment heard it, keep it down.” Jeno stood in the door. “and I still got to fuck her first.” He closed the door. “now you have to let me fuck you.”
“Haechan get the fuck out my room.”
“You are right.” Jaemin ogled your bust. “Huh?” You said sitting in the front seat of the car, renjun driving since he was the only sensible one. “Your tits do look good in that bra.” Renjun looked at the boy through the mirror — he wasn’t dumb, he knew what was going on, he seen the changes happening, the sexual tension that was constantly lingering in air when you were around — it kind of made him jealous.
Renjun had always thought you were pretty , he was newer to the apartment, but he was constantly nervous whenever he tried to talk to you — often opting to stay to himself in his room. “Stop looking at my tits jaemin.” You said, turning around where the three boys were. “be on your best behaviors, no getting sloppy drunk, im not dragging you home.” You said, but they weren’t paying attention, you shook head turning around.
“My tits seem more important.” You said to yourself — renjun slammed on the breaks, quickly putting his arm out to stop you from  hitting your head on the dashboard, the guys in the back not so much. “Shit im sorry I thought I saw a cat in road.” Renjun said, as the guys in the back moaned and groaned in pain.
You turned to him, where he was smiling to himself. “We’re here anyway.” You said, as he parked the car. “Go drink it off, not too much though.” You said, climbing out the car. “I swear he did that on purpose.” You heard haechan mumble as you all walked into the bar where your other friends waited. “Thank you.” You turned to renjun. “F-for what.” He smiled, you laughed. “Don’t mention it.” He followed behind the guys where Johnny and mark were.
“What!?” Your friends looked at you with jaws dropped. “All of them?” jinhae asked. “well not renjun.” you said taking your sip of your drink. “but yes.” You said. “And they all know about it?” You nodded. “I mean they’ve all seemly walked in or found out in someway.” You said. “And they’re okay with that?”
“Do they really have a choice, im not really looking for a relationship and they can easily stop if they want, im not going to them for it.” You shrugged. “Wow you lucky bitch.” Dayhun said. “We can barely find a guy who can find the clit, and here you are getting good dick by 3 guys who actually want to fuck you.” You turned to where they were, all of them looking directly at you. “Hi.” Haechan waved beaming, jeno slapping the back of his head. You turned around laughing at them.
“Are you a loser?” Jeno slapped the back of the boys head. “Stop waving.” The boy rubbed the back of his head. “Will you guys stop hitting me, i am in pain!” He shrieked, Johnny  and mark caught on to the tension. “What the fuck is going on with you guys?” Johnny said. “There’s this air around all of you guys, and I can’t tell if it’s hostility or- it’s sexual hostility.” Renjun spoke up.
“Sexual hostility?” Mark questioned. “Why?” Renjun got up to get himself another drink while they explained to the two boys. “Hey.” You stood at the bar. “Hey.” He smiled, ordering his drink. “Are they drunk yet?” You asked. “Not yet give it another 20 minutes, we’ll be dragging them out of the bar.” You shook your head. “Great.” You said, the bartender returning with both of your drinks. “here for her drink too.”
“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” he held his hand up. “I wanted to, go have fun with your friends.” He said, turning to make his way back to the boys. “What were you guys talking about?” jaemin asked. “nothing I just bought her a drink.”
“what?” Johnny smirked. “You fucked her too, lucky bastard.” Renjun rolled his eye. “No im not fucking her.” He said. “you mean they’re all fucking her, but not you.” Mark said with wide eyes. “Like is this voluntary or does she find something wrong with you?” Renjun cursed at the boys as they busted out into laughter. “I’m leaving all of you here watch, you bastards I hope you all get an std and won’t be able to have sex at all.”
And of course you had to end up dragging haechan out of the bar — jaemin and jeno dragging their bodies behind, stumbling. “Stupid fuckers who can’t hold your drinks.” Renjun held the door open as you dropped Haechans body in the back seat, letting them all crawl into the back. “Thank you love.” Haechan slurred, you shut the door climbing into the passengers seat— renjun into the drivers.
The ride home was nothing the sorts of good, jeno and jaemin arguing drunkenly about random shit, and haechan dry heaving complaining about having to throw up. “junie think you can speed up this car, before I take the wheel and crash it.” He nodded, pressing on the gas.
You guys finally got back to the apartment, renjun dragging haechan by his collar. “Be more gentle, im sick.” He whined. “And who’s fault is that, renjun opened the door to haechans room, pushing him inside closing the door.
“Hey yn, come.” Jaemin slurred. “Let’s go in your room.” He smirked. “If think you’re getting fucked tonight think again.” You took his hand off your shoulder. “go to sleep and sober up.” You said, he pouted. “Jeno, lets cuddle.” You shook your head, watching jeno push at the boy. “No you have a boner, im not cuddling with you like that.” He said , you closed the door huffing. “see why I don’t go out with them often?”
Renjun stood up against the wall. “This will be last time I go out with them two.” You said, walking into the kitchen, renjun followed behind. “Here.” You reached into the fridge pulling out two beers. “For your help in getting them to bed.”
He took the can from you, you opened yours taking a sip. “I think staying home is way better anyway, my feet are killing me and this bra is uncomfortable.” You bent over taking your shoes off, giving renjun a  perfect shot of your boobs. He took a sip of his drink, trying to look away.
“Don’t wear things that make you uncomfortable.” He said, you smiled. “look at you being all caring, this is the most you’ve said to me in a week, I was certain you hated me.” You walked into the living room sitting down on the couch. “I don’ hate you.” He said.
“Could’ve fooled me.” You said. “I don’t really, Im just nervous.” He said, you cocked your head to the side. “Nervous?” You questioned. “why are you nervous?” He said too much , he sat the beer down. “Maybe the drinks from the bar and that beer is too much.” He felt the heat rising to his face. “Im talking too much.”
You chuckled, he smiled before chuckling too. “No tell me why are you nervous?” You said, putting your hand on his thigh — he knew you meant it in a comforting way, but his cock clearly didn’t get the memo, twitching against his jeans. “W-well because you’re you.”
“Im me?” You questioned, he nodded. “You’re pretty and smart and you don’t care about what people think and you're hot.” He covered his mouth, he swears he’ll never drink around you again. “fuck im an idiot.” He said. “No it’s cute, you’re cute.”
You hissed again, the pain in your shoulder increasing. “it’s time to give this bra up.” You sighed, rubbing your shoulder. “Let me." He said. “Oh you don’t have to, once I go to my room it will be off.” You said, but he stopped you.  “im good at these things, trust me.” He said. “fine.”
You turned around, your back was facing him. He moved your hair to the side, bringing his hands to your tender shoulders, rubbing — you sighed as he magically worked on your shoulders. “Fuck that feels good.” You whispered.
He was bit his lip, but you sounded so pretty, your moans going straight to his cock. “You have like magic fingers or something.” He hummed, sliding your bra down your shoulder, your neck fully on display — ready to be kissed.
“You feel better?” He said you nodded. “You’re a god send.” You said, his hands lingered on your neck. “Renjun.” You were about to turn around and question him, when you felt his lips against your neck. “Im sorry.” He whispered. “I just don’t think I can handle myself anymore.” he left little kisses along your shoulder blades, nipping lightly making you shiver. You turned around, slamming your lips against his.
You climbed into his lap, unbuttoning his shirt — reaching behind undoing your bra. “fuck you’re so pretty.” He groaned, you sat directly on his cock. “m'so hard right now.” He groaned, you grinded against him. “fuck, please don’t tease me.”
You got up, he undid his pants lifting his hips up, leaving them at his ankles. You lift under your skirt, pulling your panties down, climbing back into his lap, you grabbed the base of his cock, sinking down on it. “shit.” He sighed as you sat down fully on his cock. “Fuck you’re so tight.” You moaned out, holding his shoulders for support.
“Y-you’re so big.” He groaned. “Fu-fuck yn, please move.” You began to move your hips, up and down on his cock — he held your hips, guiding you. “your cunt feels so good.” He groaned, throwing his head back in pleasure, he felt like he was in heaven, the way your cunt fluttered around him, squeezing his cock beautifully. “Oh fuck -fuck- im gonna cum.” He groaned. “Im not wearing a condom, get up, im gonna cum.”
But you don’t listen, you keep riding him. “Fuck, yn please.” He groaned, trying to hold off. You tug at his hair, whispering in his ear. “Fuck, please just cum.” You moaned. “Please im gonna cum.” He cursed, fuck you were killing him. “Fuck!” He groaned, shooting his load into your cunt, triggering your own orgasm. “Sh-shit renjun!”
Your legs trembled as you rode out your high. “god your beautiful.” He pulled you into a kiss — out of all of them he was the only one to kiss you.
You both later went to bed, and you didn’t wake up until the next morning when you heard them fussing in the kitchen, you groaning as you stomped into the kitchen. “What the fuck is going on?” You yelled. “Where is the coffee? I need coffee.” Haechan groaned.
“And that’s why you’re raging early in the damn morning.” You opened the cabinet, slamming it. “Why so loud?”  Jaemin rubbing his temples. “Im pissed.” You sat down at the table. “Why did renjun not make you cum?” You eyes shot open. “Are you people just waiting by for the next time I fuck one of you?” You said.
“I did make her cum.” Renjun walked out of the room, his bag on his back — seemingly the only one with his life together. “You could’ve too had you not been drunk out of  your mind.” He said, jeno and jaemin snickered on the side.
“I want to smack that smirk off his face.” Haechan grumbled, as renjun walked out of the apartment satisfied. “Don’t get all pouty, you’re still my good boy.” You teased. “Yah, I said don’t talk about that outside of the bedroom.” He said. “Wait does that mean I was the best?”
“Yn don’t answer that.” Jeno said, jaemin agreed. “please don’t.” You turned to the other boy who was waiting. “Answer it , I can take it.” He said. “You can’t bitch about it.” Jaemin scoffed. “He’s gonna do that anyway.”
“Just answer it.” He said, “no you weren’t the best at fucking me.” He frowned. “We told you.” Jeno said. “Are you serious? How could you be so cruel and say that?” He whined. “Be calm.” You said. “You didn’t even let me finish.” He flagged you off. “I don’t want to hear it.” He said.
“Was it jaemin?” Jeno asked. “No.” Jaemin didn’t seem so surprised. “I guess I gotta keep trying.” He said. “That’s the spirit.”
“Then who is it?” Haechan spoke up. “renjun or jeno?” he questioned. “if you say renjun im gonna kill myself.” You shook your head. “well if would’ve let me finish, you would’ve known that you and jaemin weren’t even in the race.” You said. “Why, are you that biased?” He argued.
“No dumbass because you two didn’t actually fuck me.”
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