#i know nothing about lotr or the hobbit i just thought this behind the scenes footage was funny but also the story behind it is kinda sad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agentnico · 2 years

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The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power - Season 1 (2022) Review

Should’ve just called it Bored of the Rings.

Plot: This series brings to screens for the very first time the heroic legends of the fabled Second Age of Middle-earth's history. This epic drama is set thousands of years before the events of J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings," and takes viewers back to an era in which great powers were forged, kingdoms rose to glory and fell to ruin, unlikely heroes were tested, hope hung by the finest of threads and the greatest villain that ever flowed from Tolkien's pen threatened to cover all the world in darkness.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy are my favourite films of all time. And no, I’m not just making a generic throwaway “oh, it’s just one of my many favourite films” line, nope. The Lord of the Rings movies are my top, my peak, my all time favourites films that have ever graced my eye peripherals. I absolutely adore them. I grew up watching them, so of course nostalgia is a major game player here, but also these movies are simply great. An exciting quest to throw the One Ring into Mount Doom, the many wonderful characters that are part of this journey, the beautiful vistas of New Zealand (or how I call it - Middle Zealand) and the epic musical score by the one and only Howard Shore. The Lord of the Rings is that rare major studio product that works in all areas. The matching of J.R.R. Tolkien’s source material with director Peter Jackson’s vision was a match literally made in heaven. The costumes, the battles, the action, the drama, the creatures, Gollum, Sean Bean’s best death scene....it’s all nothing short of epic! Then there is The Hobbit trilogy, that kind of proved that the same spark doesn’t light twice, as even though it had the exactly same production team behind it, it was still a massive unashamed cash grab. Look, they took a small children’s book and turned it into three massive films. It’s a mess, and yes, even though I do find enjoyment in the first two of that trilogy (we don’t talk about The Battle of the Five Armies), it’s got nothing on The Lord of the Rings trilogy. So naturally when Amazon announced they were making a LOTR series, I was weary but hella excited. I knew that there was no way this show would reach the heights of the mastery of the original trilogy, but I absolutely gravitated towards the idea of going back to Middle Earth. And now the first season of The Rings of Power has concluded, and I am here to shed my thoughts upon it...

I have two words - dang it! They f-ed it. They bloody f-ed it. They had one job. One job - to make a semi-interesting show set in Middle Earth, and they couldn’t even do that! Look, let’s talk about the positives first though. Visually this show looks amazing. And of course it does, Jeff Bezos evidently doesn’t know what to do with all of his endless Amazon money, so he spared no expense in pumping this series with so much money that you can literally see the cash pouring out of the screen. The costumes, the visual effects, the colours, the technical gravitas, it all looks great! Yet even then, you can tell something is missing. In Peter Jackson’s original trilogy, yes they had the many wide shots of the New Zealand highlands and mountains, but also you could see the passion and ambition behind every shot. Those movies were made with love and care and precision. In The Rings of Power there is lots of gorgeous scenery, but it seems to miss that charm and care that Jackson had. But again, I cannot expect this show to recapture the original trilogy’s magic, nor would it be fair to expect so, so yes, I’ll admit this show looks lovely. Again though, they had the money for it. The music by Bear McCreary too was actually very Middle-Earthian, with some powerful melodies, choir and orchestral tones, and though it’s got nothing on Howard Shore, I actually give McCreary props for conjuring an original score that I think is befit of Tolkien’s world. Also, the opening titles at the beginning of each episode is a musical sequence of matter forming various shapes, based on the "Music of the Ainur" creation myth from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Silmarillion", and I actually was impressed with how they did that. Like that was actually proper Tolkien, And that’s really it when it comes to the positives.

As for the negative, I’m just going to come out and say it - this show is boring. Each episode is over an hour long and especially in the first half of the season nothing really happens. I have no problem with world building, but this is ridiculous. Each episode is super slow and characters take ages to have their needed revelations and decisions made, and I was sitting there thinking “I know where this is going, just get on with it!”. And they did get on with it, only two or three episodes later. The script and writing is pretty poor also. The dialogue does nothing to make you care for any of these characters, and this is a huge ensemble, and honestly I couldn’t care about any of them. Except maybe the dwarf, he’s chill. And Elrond also. Okay, so a couple are somewhat worthy, but as a whole none of the characters are memorable, and most of them are very one-dimensioned. But let’s talk about the main character - Galadriel. What the fudge have they done with her?? She’s supposed to be this angelic higher being with the gift of foresight and magic, and one that cares about the lives of all (men and elves. Yet here she is an angry indecisive self-entitled warrior who is rude to everyone, has zero diplomacy skills, and throws a fit every 5 seconds like a teenager who's dad's got his daughter a Ford Focus for a first car but she wanted a Lexus. And no offence to the actress playing her (Morfydd Clark), but her facial expressions were always the same annoyed look. And how are we as an audience supposed to care about what’s happening when the main character is so unlikeable. Made me want to root for Sauron.

And speaking of Sauron, the entire plot of this first season is simply ‘who’s Sauron?’. That’s it. Other minor things do happen, but the main thing is that question. For that to be your main plot point for a whole season is pretty weak. But that seems to really be the only thing the writers cared about. And the reveal at end, all I’ll say is - eh. I expected more to be honest. And that’s my feeling for this show as a whole - eh. As a Lord of the Rings show it’s really disappointing. As just a fantasy show, its ok. Kind of a chore to tune in every week. However I will admit the last couple of episodes of the season pick up more and show potential when it comes for the future, so I will keep an open mind for the second season, however that next season will be decider for it I will continue watching the entire show till the end. As so far to put it bluntly - it’s been a joke. Sorry Jeff Bezos, all the money in the world is not the answer to a good adaptation. So as Gimli would say - Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!

Overall score: 3/10

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josis-teacup · 3 years

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Some thoughts on lotr on prime

Sooo im really excited for the lotr on prime show (you know I'm something of a clown myself). And what I'm wondering about is what exact time will be covered.

The second age is 3441 years, that's quite a long time. Sauron meets Gil-Galad in 1200, the rings are forged in the 1500s and Numenor falls in the early 3000s. (rough dates)

All of those events are worth covering and focusing on. And they deserve the attention and the detailed plotting.

Currently 5 seasons are planed but the Tolkien estate would grant more if amazon does a good job and since they apparently already like what they're seeing and allowed them to cover some stuff from the first age (probably flashbacks or exposition, see the trees in the first promo image) the chances are good.

One of the people involved said that they want to use the first season for world building and the one ring revealed that sauron won't be in the first season.

So my guess is:

The first season will mostly be about the founding of the Grey Havens and Numenor and will introduce important characters. Galadriel and Elrond are confirmed, we will probably also meet Elros and Gil-Galad. The migration to Khazad-dûm will probably also be covered as it introduces a location that will be important to later seasons.

After that nothing big happens for a few centuries. Its been a while since I've read the books and there are parts I'm not that familiar with anymore but it's mostly people getting born and people dying and people meeting each other. Maybe they add some plot for political drama or add some travel/adventure stories but since so much plot is still to cover I'm not sure. I can imagine time jumps happening between seasons. It's not uncommon and allows fresh starts with new characters getting introduced which is normal in shows.

What is possible is that they won't work with years and dates at all. As I mentioned Sauron and Gil-Galad meet in 1200 and it would work well as a start for season 2. Mentioning dark times to come, a new evil etc maybe some well known visuals at the end of season 1, maybe even a post credit scene and even casual viewers will be hooked as I well known villain is about to appear.

As soon as Sauron shows up things start happening. Galadriel goes to Lothlorien, the rings of power are forged, barad dur is completed, Glorfindel comes back, sauron proclaims himself, rivendell is founded, celebrimbor dies, sauron attacks but gets defeated and retreats to mordor. This would fill 1 - 2 seasons, maybe even 3, we're looking at 300 years.

About 500 years later the rebellion of Numenor against the valar starts and until the fall of Numenor a bit more that 1000 years pass. I can imagine those events getting pressed into one season, maybe two. I haven't counted but there are probably about 10 - 20 kings and queens and covering all of them is just too much. We have to remember how expensive this show is, they not only want to Tolkien nerds but also the casual viewers and infodumping never goes well.

So the last season will probably begin after the fall of Numenor and with Gondor and Arnor being founded. A big part will be the introduction of important characters like Oropher and Elendil since they'll die and both leave a kingdom and a heir behind. Maybe we'll meet a young thranduil? The last thing will probably be the battle, character deaths and I won't be surprised if it ends with a shot of something that could lead up to lotr. Maybe isildur riding along the route where he gets attacked. Maybe we'll even catch a glimpse of the third age and the arrival of the Istari (didn't sir Ian McKellen state he'd be ready to reprise his role?).

So, those are my thoughts. As you see this list barely contains the most important elements and I'm sure there will be many more events, characters and side plots to fill the gaps. Mirkwood, maybe even the ents. There where rumors about Hobbits appearing. While not being mentioned before the third age they must have been there so it would be a nice addition.

There is quite a lot to cover in the second age and whether they decide to tackle it all or concentrate on one event a lot of time will pass. Over the course of decades and centuries and millennia fashion, architecture and traditions change and even if this probably happens slower when it comes to elves I'm very excited to see those changes applied to Numenor and other human cultures. A nice challenge for the costume department.

The goal of this post is to hopefully bring some healthy discussion, maybe even positivity to the table. During the last months I mainly saw negative takes on the show. The reason was often the nudity discourse which could've been avoided by actually reading the articles about the intimacy coordinator. We barely know anything about the show and we've only seen one picture. Of course I'm critical, we all have good reasons to be, but currently I see no reason to spread negativity about something that I barely know anything about.

Maybe there are some people who would like to add some thoughts to this post and who are just as excited as I am. I'd love to hear from you.

#Lord of the rings #Lotr #lotr show #lotr series #lotr amazon #lotr on prime #middle earth #j r r tolkien #tolkien #Second age #numenor #sauron #gil galad #galadriel #long post #the rings of power #rop #Rings of power

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ecoamerica · 15 days

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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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astrovian · 3 years

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the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves.

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10

#thanks for the responses to my photoshoot query y'all I think that is next #though it might be a two-parter given the volume of photoshoots #then thinking lucas north after that #hoping to get photoshoots pt. 1 done next week sometime anyway #but who knows because good ol' Boris Johnson is sending me back into an unsafe environment to teach germ-riddled teens very shortly #so I need to spend some serious time doing prep work for that over the coming week #let's pray I don't catch covid from the kids until I can get vaccinated in summer!!!#based on previous experiences I give it 1 & 1/2 weeks before us teachers start dropping like flies #ANYWAY #richard armitage #claude becker #ocean's 8 #ocean's eight #oceans 8 #oceans eight

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wheres-everyone-going-bingo · 4 years

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Just finished binge watching all of LOTR for the first time and I'm in love with one (1) sassy elf man. Can I have some Legolas x reader where Legolas IS trying to find a way to confess to him?

Night Sky

Pairing: Legolas x Male Reader

Warnings: none

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Legolas paced around the campsite, his hands clasped behind his back. The fellowship watched the elf walk back and forth, all except for Y/N who had left with his sword and bow to go hunt for dinner.

————

“Legolas, what are you doing?” Aragorn broke the silence, whittling away at a stick with his knife. Legolas stopped in his tracks turning to face the dirty man.

“What do you mean?” Legolas asked

“Pacing, why are you pacing like that?” Aragorn questioned, not looking up from his stick.

“I- I didn’t realise I was” He answered, sitting down on a nearby tree stump, he placed his head in his hands.

“Are you okay?” Frodo enquired, patting the royal elf on the back, trying to comfort him.

“I’m sorry dear Frodo, I’m just caught up in my thoughts” Legolas offered the hobbit a half smile.

“Alright just spit it out already” Gimli ordered, already fed up with the elf’s behaviour

“I’m worried, and...confused” Legolas took a deep breath “It’s Y/N, he’s just so perfect, and… I just can’t stop thinking about him” He sighed, feeling better that he got it off of his chest.

“It sounds like you’re romantically interested in Mr Y/N” Samwise piped up, trying to offer his thoughts. Legolas thought for a second, nodding his head in agreement.

“But then that raises another worry, how do I court him? Our cultures are very different” Legolas asked, running his hands through his hair.

“Do whatever feels most comfortable I guess” Boromir offered.

“Hey guys, what are y’all talking about?” I questioned, holding up the handful of dead rabbits that I managed to catch.

“Nothing! It’s nothing!” Legolas exclaimed, making me jump with the volume of his words.

“Uh okay?” I spoke, giving him a weird look, setting the rabbits down near the fire.

The fellowship had gone to sleep, laid spread out on the hillside. I was taking first watch, making sure that no one stabbed us in our sleep. I saw Legolas stir in his sleep, I smiled at the shifting elf.

“Can’t sleep huh?” I asked him, as he turned around, his eyes open

“I have a lot on my mind”

“Why don’t you come sit with me and we can talk?” I invited him to sit with me on the soft grass, patting the patch next to me. He obliged, getting up and taking a seat. “So do you want to talk about it?” I asked him, staring at the stars in the night sky.

“It’s just my culture is very different from others” he paused, choosing his words “and if I were to like someone of another race, hypothetically speaking, I wouldn’t know how to court them” He admitted, glancing at my face as I watched the sky.

“Hmm, that’s a tough one, I mean, I would do whatever felt right I suppose, or whatever made the other person and I feel comfortable” I answered truthfully, wondering where all of this was coming from

“That is quite wise, how would you do it?”

“I would just tell the other person, be honest with them, but first I’d make sure that my feelings are what I’m actually feeling. I would wait till the right time, the right scene” I told Legolas, giving him a comforting smile

“Would you say something like this place is the right scene?”

“Yeah I would, the night is clear and the stars bright” I replied, Legolas hummed, facing me. I turned to meet his eyes, tilting my head at his odd behaviour.

“Y/N, I would like to tell you something, be honest with you” Legolas said, my heart quickened, as my eyes grew wide, he was going to say what I thought he was, is he? “You are a great warrior, a good person, stunning, and I have fallen in love with you” he took a breath, filling himself with courage “I would like to court you”. I blinked a few times, processing what had just been said, Legolas looked at me patiently, awaiting my answer.

“I uhhh, yes. Yes!” I found my words, grinning at him.

“This is good” He spoke, looking back at the stars. I felt him rest his head on my shoulder as we stared at the sky. I smiled to myself, knowing that we were going to make it.

#legolas #greenleaf #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #x male reader #male reader #fanfic

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problematic-weather · 4 years

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It’s Time [Thranduil x Elf! Reader]

Pairing; Thranduil x Elf! Reader

Fandom: LOTR, Hobbit

Genre; angst and fluff? i don’t really know what it is tbh

Word Count: 853

Requested by: @queenofmankind

A/n: It’s short but I hope you enjoyed it!!

Threads of life seemed to tug and pull on everyone often, testing the waters, watching one fall and another rise. It was often the story of many, those who lived, a short lifetime of mistakes and glories.

But to an elf, an immortal creature, despair could loom over the shoulders of anyone for eons, until came the time for them to fall as well. The story of monogamy, ceaseless loyalty to a fallen loved one, common for elves.

Unfortunately, both points stood strong for the King of Mirkwood. He seemed succumbed in pain, almost as if he relished in it. Isolation was a gateway, for him to anguish behind closed doors, barricaded from the heartless world beyond the sealed oak.

It was a bitter scene to anyone close to the King, for his son, Legolas, and for you. A female elf, a poignant companion to the King himself, heavily contrasting his current state. You weren’t exceedingly optimistic, you couldn’t, in your eyes, you were a realist with hope. Hope of which aided Thranduil since he was young, relieving him in his darkest times.

But now, it felt as if you failed him.

Your words could only ease him so much. Much more than others, yes, but it seemed that after his beloved died he had kept a wall before you as well. You couldn’t possess impatience with him, for you knew grief took longer to face with each individual. And for him, time was something he didn’t often think about.

The Elven King was alongside you as both of you took a stroll through the paths, staring at nothing but the path ahead. Every time you passed a guard, you gave a small wave, to which they cautiously returned before standing in their position. Once more, silence struck.

It gave you a bit of time to space out, to blank out and picture the garden before the gloom that radiated off of every living organism-- from the tips of the leaves, down to the sturdiest roots. Don’t be fooled, it still was marvelously majestic, but those who really knew the woods would understand… could sense.

“Is something troubling you, mellon?” The King inquired, startling you from your thoughts, you coughed nervously.

“It is nothing to be concerned of, sire.” You replied quickly, unknowingly holding your breath for a bit too long. Your eyes stayed in front of you as you watched Thranduil halt, turning his full attention to you.

“If I can recall correctly, I believe we made an arrangement you’d address me as Thranduil,” he noted, eyebrow raised. Well, that’s great. “You’ve only ever called me otherwise when you’re unease. So I ask again, what seems to be the problem?”

You shakily let out a breath as you gave him a sideglance, ignoring the thumping of your heart towards his mild concern.

“I am simply in my own mind,” you swallowed, “stuck in the past while wondering of the future.” You finished, watching Thranduil’s face begin to darken.

“That is a dangerous matter to think about, mellon.”

“Perhaps it is,” you started, finally gaining the courage to look at him straight into his eyes, smiling. “But don’t you think it’s daunting?”

“What is?” He responded almost immediately, genuinely perplexed about your opinion.

“Time.” You answered as if it was the most natural/reasonable explanation. Turning away from you, your attention was soon brought to a struggling tree, the buds barely growing but already beginning to wilt. Cradling the poor petals, you continued on.

“We’ve always been so entangled in the past, but it cannot be changed. We cannot rewrite our wrongs, our tragics, yet we dwell on them as if it was all we had left to do. Our future is an unknown, yet a perilous thing to ponder about… but don’t you see we’re shaping it?” You quizzed, seeking for some type of agreement from the Elven King, however, all that was returned was a hard, confused stare.

“Our future influences us just as much as the present, and if we dwell on the past…” you trailed off, picking the flower from the branch, watching it immediately wilt and decay in the palms of your hands. “Then we truly are lost.”

You gave Thranduil a kind smile, one of which was hard to muster. For years, you’ve seen him suffer, slowly wilting as time grew on. Immortality was praised, but from that came a sacrifice. You watched him, cared for him. Encouraged him as he fell deeply in love with another, despite the torment you dealt with within. You’ve loved him for as long as you could remember, and clung to loyalty…

As the sun began to set, rays of light peeking through the towering trees and landing on you, illuminating your sunkissed features as you extended your hand to him, slender and gentle.

“Thranduil, as a long friend of yours, I’ve come to admire you for years, ever since we were youthful. And that feeling only grew greater as time followed… but what I’ve wanted to tell you more than anything today was…

“It’s time to move on.”

#thranduil x reader #thranduil #thranduil imagine #the hobbit #the hobbit imagine #reader insert #elf reader #lord of the rings #king thranduil #lee pace #one shot

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wackygoofball · 5 years

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Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

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An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

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Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

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Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

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And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

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Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

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More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

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So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

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This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

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The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

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This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

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Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

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Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

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What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

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Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

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Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

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Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

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This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

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Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

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Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

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This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

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Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together. Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

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This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

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Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

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Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*

#gwenspiration #jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #game of thrones #wacky tries moodboards #and talks about them a lot

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thegreatdivorce · 5 years

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There and back again...

This post is about a lot of things, but it’s mainly about my love for Faramir and Eowyn… and about how the book is always better than the movie. But we have to go back a lil before we can start.

I read Lord of the Rings for the first time when I was 14 years old. It took me a long time to get through it. I think a whole year, maybe more. I had trouble for a few reasons: one, it’s a big story for a young reader, and two, my motivation was probably in the wrong place. I grew up on a healthy diet of C. S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, my dad read the Chronicles of Narnia series to me as a kid and I read The Hobbit (on my dad’s special collectors edition) not long after that, but I never made it to Lord of the Rings until the films came out. And I only really read the books then because I loved the films so much. Let me repeat that with more emphasis, I loved. these films. so. much. I could recite lines from the movies, yes, but I could also recite lines from the commentary the cast created for each extended edition. I can still recall the jokes, pranks, and memories the cast hold dear almost as if I had lived through them myself as the 10th member of the fellowship. I still call David Wenham ‘Daisy Wenham,’ and if the word ‘wig’ appears in conversation my brain immediately goes to, “your hair changes dramatically from short to long… do you wear wigs?” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are not a true fan of the film series. It meant so much to me when I was younger that I think I started the books as a way to stay in that world a lil longer. And I guess constantly comparing the books to a beloved film series is not the best way to read because I didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would. To be clear, I didn’t dislike the books, Return of the Kings marks one of the few books to make me cry (Theoden’s death got to me), but the books didn’t impact me in the same way the films did.

Fast forward some 13 years later and something, I’m not exactly sure what, convinced me to read the books again. I have a long book list, one that I am sorely behind on, so choosing a 1000+ page saga (one that I’ve already read before) while other books are waiting to be cracked open for the first time was probably not the most productive decision I’ve made, but I regret nothing. I still own the same copy of LOTR I owned when I first read the series and man, there’s something about the smell of a book that can bring you right back to where you were when you first opened it because that’s exactly what happened when I started re-reading it. There is something nice about feeling like you’re 14 again… feeling like your whole life is ahead of you, but the only thing you have to worry about is reading this one book.

Although the smell of the book felt the same, other things felt different. Aragorn does not struggle at all with the idea of his kingship like Viggo does in the film, Sam feels a bit more of a simpleton in the books, and Frodo seems older and wiser than the 19-year-old Elijah Wood feels in the movies. All of these things are small differences and as I was reading book one and book two, I found I still liked the movies for what they are and tried to be (although that scene where Frodo tells Sam to leave just before Shelob’s lair, that he doesn’t need him anymore, will never make sense to me), but for the most part I liked both film and book fairly evenly. But entering into book three, I realized how certain characters got the short end of the movie stick. Particularly Eowyn and Faramir. I’ll be frank, I don’t know how you would have written more of them into the story without bogging down the pacing of the rest of the movie, but that’s kind of my point, Eowyn’s story is so good she needs her own dang movie so everyone can discuss how amazing and complex she is. And Faramir too, but we’ll get to him in a moment.

Eowyn in the movie is played wonderfully by Miranda Otto. Seriously, the casting of this series is pretty near perfect. Her part is relatively small, but they touch on all the main points of her character. She’s a fierce warrior, but she feels stuck in a cage staying at home having to care for her people and the man she considers a father all by herself, she falls for Aragorn, he doesn’t return her love, she wants to ride to war, she does so secretly, she kills the Witch-King, she receives the honor and valor she has always wanted, she marries Faramir, bada bing, bada boom, done. It’s a nice lil package, but it’s the highlight reel because there is so much more to Eowyn than that...

So to know Eowyn, we have to know the people of Rohan. Faramir does a nice job summing them up when he refers to them while talking to Sam and Frodo in The Window on the West, “If the Rohirrim are grown in some ways more like to us (the people of Gondor), enhanced in arts and gentleness, we too have become more like to them. For as the Rohirrim do, we now love war and valor as things good in themselves, both as a sport and an end. We esteem a warrior, nonetheless, above other crafts.” Faramir continues to talk of war “as is the need of their day,” a necessary evil, but you can tell... he’s really not into it. This is shown in a few different ways throughout the books (his relationship in contrast with his brother/father as one example), but the place it really hits home happens earlier in the same chapter when he states this zinger, “War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” (Side note, Faramir is the best and I know everybody loves fawning over King Viggo Aragorn, but y'all are sleeping on the best man in the whole series! Faramir is where it is at. He’s far more complex than Aragorn and I will fangirl over him more later on, but we’re still on Eowyn, so I’ll continue.) So the people of Rohan are a proud, fierce, war-loving crowd. They actually sing songs as they are killing people in battle. Think “whistle while you work,” but fiercer and more insane. But Faramir is not dissing them; he is not implying they are war-hungry, or war-mongers, simply the Rohirrim believe proving themselves in battle is a right they deserve.

Enter Eowyn. In contrast to Faramir, who seems to have a sober understanding of war and battle, Eowyn finds her worth in it. We can see this most obviously in her attraction to Aragorn. In the movie, their attraction seems to develop in a natural, innocent way. I vaguely remember Miranda Otto mentioning in some interview for the DVD special features that part of the reason why it’s so tragic that Aragorn turns Eowyn down is that he knows they would make a good match. Essentially if Aragorn hadn’t met Arwen first, Aragorn and Eowyn could be together. Honestly, with how the movie presented their relationship, yah, I get it. Except that’s not how it is in the books. Aragorn, in The Houses of Healing, looks to Eomer and says, “I say to you that she loves you more truly than me; for you she loves and knows; but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan.” Eowyn desires the great deeds of war, not like Faramir does: as a means to protect a people, but as a way to prove herself. Faramir seems to find an honor in all crafts and positions, but Eowyn, although protective of them, talks lowly of her own people, consistently stating she is not a “dry-nurse” or a “serving-woman” but higher above them as a member of the House of Eorl. Eowyn speaks of a hierarchy within Rohan, consistently placing herself above the other women who are care-takers or mothers. What makes this even more tragic is that it’s not entirely her fault that she has come to this thinking. Gandalf, again in The House of Healing, explains to Eomer, “Think you that Wormtongue had poison only for Theoden’s ears? ‘What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among dogs?’ Have you not heard these words before? My lord, if your sister’s love for you, and her will still bent her duty, had not restrained her lips, you might have heard even such things as these escape them. But who knows what she spoke in the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in on her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?” It’s tragic. And what’s worse is Eomer’s shock in thinking about his sister in this light. He never really knew her. No one did. Eowyn has always been fighting alone. Which is what makes her conclusion so satisfying...

Eowyn rides into the Battle of Pelennor and kills the Witch-king (with the help of Merry). As I mentioned before, this is covered very well in the film, there is the great “I am no man” line which is taken from the book and although Eowyn is injured it seems she finally got her chance to defend herself in battle, like the other able-bodied men, so we’re meant to rejoice at her triumph, which I did when I saw the film. Except, again, that’s not the point in the book. Obviously, it’s great that the Witch-king is dead, but that event is the rising action leading into Eowyn’s healing, not her resolution… because Eowyn still wants to die in battle. She survived the Witch-king, she is being forced to heal her wounds in the House of Healing, but all she wants to do is die. Die as King Theoden has just done in battle (crushed by the body of his own horse) because this is the only way she can achieve the honor she feels she deserves. Because, again, Aragorn won’t give her that honor. And Faramir challenges this notion directly to Eowyn when they meet each other in the House of Healing, “You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wanted to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things of that crawled on the earth. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle.” And it is only here, with Faramir, the first person to really see Eowyn and challenge her openly, does she acknowledge the truth, and her darkness (her desire for death) passes. It’s so beautiful. Eowyn exclaims, “Behold, the shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.” And if you find a sadness or a disappointment in Eowyn’s proclamation of a life of peace than you are not paying attention to what Tolkien is putting down.

This is important because I’ve heard this complaint before… Tolkien is not saying that it is wrong for Eowyn to participate in battle, to be a shieldmaiden, because she is a woman, (there are multiple instances in the book where Eowyn is described as a worthy warrior alongside her male companions. Hamma, may he rests in peace, nominates Eowyn as the person to manage the. whole. kingdom in place of the king when Theoden and Eomer leave for Helms Deep. So there’s that.) Tolkien is saying it is wrong to glorify battle, death, and destruction. full stop. No matter who you are. It is a point that is continually being made time and time again throughout the whole series by almost every character. And it should be no surprise coming from a man who fought in the first world war and then lived through the second. “I will not take joy only in the songs of slaying,” is really what Tolkien is trying to drive home here. Eowyn is still a warrior. Right after she accepts Faramir’s proposal and Aragorn is crowned king, Eowyn is like, “Faramir, I love you. I’m gonna marry you. But I have some important business to take care of back in Rohan with my brother, so I’m gonna leave… I’ll be back in like a month probably. Bye.” Yes, girl! That is the moment we should be applauding. Not the moment where Eowyn kills the Witch-king, but the moment where Eowyn realizes herself as a warrior but also a healer and there being a time and honor in both of those crafts if they have a proper foundation. It’s the moment when Eowyn finally sees and knows herself. And you know what Faramir says in response to Eowyn’s leaving? Nothing. He lets her go to do her thing because he is the best and I love him.

On to Faramir!

Ok. So. I’ll be brief here. Or I’ll try to be. One, because I think I’ve already shown a fair amount of Faramir’s great qualities, but also because I think his character in the film shows a stronger resemblance to the book than Eowyn’s. If we can all ignore that scene where Faramir drags Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath (because that never happens *eye roll*), and focus on the dialogue dealing with his dad, we’re getting pretty faithful Faramir content as pretty much all of the Faramir - Denethor dialogue is taken directly from the book, and it’s all golden. And when I say golden, I mean deadly. The, “‘Since you were robbed of Boromir, I will do what I can in his stead. If I should return, think better of me, Father.’ - ‘That will depend on the manner of your return.’” exchange between Faramir and Denethor is brutal. To say that Faramir has daddy issues is an understatement. But that brings us up to an important point. Faramir is just as broken as Eowyn is and their meeting is not so much so Faramir can save Eowyn but for them to find healing in each other.

Faramir’s dad is insane. Literally. By the end of the book, Denethor loses his mind and tries to kill both him and his son by burning them alive. Faramir is not fully aware his dad is trying to kill him because by the time Denethor is building a funeral pyre, Faramir is slipping in and out of consciousness due to his battle wounds (to clarify, Denethor thinks his son is already dead, which is why he wants to share the funeral pyre with him. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s the facts). So the last thing Faramir hears, in full conscience, is that his dad wishes that he had died in his brother’s place and the only way he can prove his worth is sustaining victory in battle. Which he knows he cannot do. So Faramir goes to battle, is injured, and ultimately wants to die. Sound familiar? But he doesn’t. Aragorn calls him back to health in the House of Healing and he meets Eowyn.

Faramir likes Eowyn from the moment they meet but can see she is struggling and doesn’t know the exact cause of her pain. So he talks to the best wingman in Middle Earth, Merry, and puts all the details together that Eowyn is still pretty hung up on Aragorn, and for all the wrong reasons. Faramir decides to gently pursue Eowyn which, if you think about it, is quite the courageous thing to do considering Faramir’s past. Faramir’s whole life consists of being left behind, the man that is not chosen. As we established above, his own father chose and loved his brother, Boromir, over him. Boromir was chosen to join the Fellowship of the Ring, not Faramir. It’s even in his job description to be picked over. Faramir is a Steward of Gondor, he’s to hold court until the proper king appears and then literally step out of the way. Here is another area where potentially someone is going to choose someone else in place of him. Faramir questions Eowyn about her love for Aragorn asking, “[I’m assuming] you cannot choose between us. Eowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?” Ugh, tragic. She admits, “I wished to be loved by another, but I desire no man’s pity.” Faramir clarifies, “I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and you yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear, or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Eowyn, do you not love me?”

It’s actually nerve-wracking when you leave out Eowyn’s response to this question; to know Faramir is asking someone he loves dearly for love in return, something he was rarely afforded in his life, especially in the beautiful way in which he asked it. He sees Eowyn for who she truly is, someone even she doesn’t fully recognize yet, and who she can be: a valiant queen. And not just any queen, Faramir says the Queen of Gondor, Aragorn’s wife. Faramir basically admits, “I know there’s a chance you could still be with Aragorn, but even if you did, I would still love you regardless.” It’s so courageous and beautiful, and in a lot of ways, the ultimate test to see if Faramir has really healed over the wounds his father has left. The wounds of being left unchosen. But Eowyn does choose, she chooses to be with him, and they ultimately provide healing and understanding to each other.

And that’s all left unsaid in the films. None of it is really in there which is such a bummer because it’s so good. And this whole story has been waiting for me to re-discover it on my shelf for the past 13 years and I’ve finally made my way back. Can’t believe I almost missed it.

Anyhow, thank you for coming to my TED Talk on why Faramir and Eowyn are the best and why reading books is cool.

I probably could write more, but I’ve taken a brief break in reading the dang book to write this essay and I still have a few more chapters to go to finish the whole thing.

Good day.

#lord of the rings #faramir #eowyn #rohan #gondor #JRR Tolkien #aragorn #reading is cool #return of the king

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blankdblank · 5 years

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Forgotten Pt 4

Prologue - Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 -

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78

X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf

“Ada, you have to come out!”

Thranduil’s eyes fell hastily to his phone screen between the busy hustle of patients from the crash that had left him terribly late for the flight out from Lothlorien to Rivendell where his family was waiting for him. Yet again work had taken him from his initial promised travels to see them. For years his Mother had been away on an expedition and was finally home and here he was being held away from her, and now this, for the past hour his son seemed to be flooding his phone with these candid pictures of a woman he claimed to be staying in their rental home. Each image however seemed far too perfect, for all the faces of all the Elves he had come across in both university and in the hospitals he had both worked in and interned in he had never seen any Elleth so perfect.

Clearly with the glow around her and how seamlessly those curls fell around her face pooling over her shoulders in each picture obviously marked them as professionally done in his franticly paced mind. Yet each one still gave him a moments solace in this hectic setting, reminding him of home and family. A week and a half had passed when a shifting of weight by the Dean of Medicine at the hospital raised a brow asking, “Checking in on the new art exhibit at Lothlorien?”

Thranduil’s head turned to peer up to the man answering with a shake of his head, “No. My son is trying to hurry me along. Friend of my dad’s, staying with him for a few weeks.”

The man’s lips parted, “She’s staying with your family?!”

Thranduil nodded, “Yes.” Standing to finish off his third cup of coffee ready to head out to his rounds only to stop hearing the Dean say, “We can handle this. You go on ahead, we’ve already kept you a week past your original flight date.”

Thrandil raised a brow, “You’re certain?”

The Dean nodded, “Go on.” Before the Dean could change his mind he rushed off to his locker to grab his things and head back to his apartment to grab his bag and catch the first flight out to Lothlorien.

Clearly he had missed a run in with the mysterious woman, not just once either, several times over the next few years. A call overhead brought the drowsy surgeon into the Dean’s office where he sat down and nearly fell out of his chair hearing his transfer had been approved. By the next week through the halls his eyes locked on a familiar blonde Elf passing through the halls. For two days a grin eased on the younger Greenleaf’s face as his father settled into taking over his role while sharing the tasks he hoped for him to continue when he took over at the clinic. There were extra requests slipped in as well nearly stirring an eye roll from his son.

Oropher, “Now usually I have lunch at two.”

Thranduil chuckled flipping through the file in his palm inside the elevator, “You are planning my lunches as well?”

Oropher gave him a playful glare, “Jaqi eats lunch usually then as well.”

Thranduil rolled his eyes mid chuckle, “Not you too. First Legolas,”

Oropher’s hand settled on his arm making their eyes lock as he softly stated, “There aren’t many Elves out in Erebor. You’ll be surrounded by mainly Dwarves who might take the grudge they have against me and use it against you making it harder for you to fit in.”

Thranduil chuckled, “Ada, when have you known me to fit in?”

Oropher, “You know what I mean. She has a magnificent heart and talents you would never guess from an Elleth so young. Just like you there are few deemed her friends outside the Durins. I know her and her kindness, you would not be wasting-,”

Thranduil shook his head, “I never said it would be a waste of my time.”

“Then what is the problem?”

Thranduil wet is lips and guided his father inside an empty room, “Ada, Legolas keeps sending me these pictures of her. If she is half as breath taking-,”

Oropher waved his hand between them, “Do not go about trying to settle her as vain, she will easily beat that out of you.” Making Thranduil chuckle again, “She grew up around Dwarves, to them, as painful,” he wet his lips making Thranduil shift his weight seeing the irritation and pain flashing over his face, “Our first conversation, I complimented her, and she was shocked.” Thranduil’s brow rose, “To them, she is valued on her personality, with looks far from appealing. We went out to Rivendell and she had them in awe and she realized she was the swan in the lake of ducks. We may not be the finest in the flock but I know, with hearts like yours you could truly freeze them all by making her smile.”

“Ada.”

“Just go and say hello, I’ve already asked her to help keep the Dwarves from being too rough on you.”

Thranduil chuckled then sighed seeing he would not relent, “I will say hello.”

Oropher grinned, “Good.” He chuckled knowing that as soon as he met you it would merely be a helpless battle against his heart trying to keep him from trying anything with you. He would clearly fall for you just as quickly as he, Taule and Legolas had, all eager to loop you into their family.

With moving van loaded Thranduil stole one last hug from his son and father and climbed into the cab waiting to drive him to the airport. For all his worries as to what he was undertaking he relished the thought of being out in the open, right in the center of that idyllic scene he had seen so many pictures from his father over the years stirring up his hunger to be under the stars surrounded by a vast stretch of green. Even if he had to deal with an endless string of ‘have yous-,’ from his relatives concerning the simplest of interactions with this mystery woman haunting his dreams.

…

In the news of the doctor’s departure came an altogether more startling announcement, the pub was now up for sale and in a willful move the young Durins had swooped in and taken it up for themselves with all they had saved up. Gratefully they settled into the empty apartment above the pub with the tall redheaded Elleth behind them gritting her teeth at being trapped out here in this nowhere town after her fiancé had sunk the money she had imagined to be for their lavish service into some ruined pub. But at least with her and her sunken mood the Durin clan were glad to have the innocent young hopeful among them back within view in hopes of reigning the Elleth into line or drive her away.

Not two days later Fili had given his news as well, he would be joining the law firm in town along with Oin and Gloin, while spending the majority of his days working in Bilbo’s shop to also fuel his desire to sculpt as he kept up his day job. And certainly Sigrid was pleased to be back again and found herself happily welcomed back into the family fold, taking up a permanent spot on the paper and small shifts to fill in for Kili at the pub on his off days. Even with Tauriel and her cloud of gloom she brought to town in the muddle of all the changes swirling around the cards would fall as they may and everyone was simply hoping for the best for their little town.

…

“Here you go.” A large grin eased onto your face as Nori passed over the keys and final ownership papers to the worn down cottage next door to Bifur and Bofur’s just days after Oropher had left. For years now the old owner’s family were locked in a bitter inheritance feud locking the sale of the cottage, which in the last big set of storms a few months back had half of the roof cave in making the entire innards have to be torn out and redone.

On a vacation from the shop you unlocked your door with a crew of construction workers behind you who all aided in pulling back the vines and random weeds then aided in tearing out the drywall coating the original stone walls. After treating the mold having grown there and double checking the foundations and plumbing the roof was first to be added with new coatings for the walls and insulation were next once the wiring, lightings and plumbing fixtures were changed. In the empty house you walked around trying not to cry knowing you were about to take a big step on your own. That trail of thought halted seeing the moving van pull up at the Manor on Raven Hill that Oropher had just emptied the week prior. Nipping at your lip you spotted the tall blonde in the distance you assumed to be his son, the mysterious Thranduil you had yet to meet in the years you had known his father. A clear ring from your phone in the kitchen broke that trail of thought when you were called into the shop to help with a particularly stubborn engine.

By the third day you had an empty shell of a home, shelving and cabinets were next to be installed with final touches to be added. Each nook and cranny was planned out and you walked out to the shop where you spotted Bilbo and Thorin locked another bout of hopeless flirting with the crimson haired niece of the Hobbit sitting hopelessly on a stool sighing as she eyed the book in her palms that she recently finished and realized there were three more in a series after it. On your left you eyed Dwalin coming up to you with keys in hand grinning as he said, “Just filled her up this morning, should get you there with half a tank to spare hopefully. Just-.”

“Don’t touch the radio, I know.” He chuckled and eased the key ring into your palm.

Another sigh came from the teen and you watched Bilbo turn and say, “I’ve told you I cannot make another run out to town. We could get them delivered you know.”

Mal sighed replying, “I don’t have the money for overnight shipping and I’ve nothing to read for three days.”

Bilbo shook his head and you said rather reluctantly, “I’m heading out to Dale. It’s a full day of roaming through shops but there’s a book shop you can roam through while I browse. If you like.”

Instantly her face lit up and you could see the ease spreading across Bilbo and Thorin’s faces allowing them more time to timidly ease out their plans for dinner after Dwalin had finally cornered them into the task by inviting the boys to help them with their project for school freeing the anxious pair for their first night alone. You forced a smile and she jolted up following you to the truck outside as Dwalin moved back to forcing the pairs hands into something more concrete.

On the road out of town you sat quietly on the bench seat and watched the road realizing just how long this trip was going to take with a stranger you hadn’t so much as said hello to before today. Wetting your lips you said, “Um, so, I might have misheard him the other day but Bilbo called you Mallard?”

She glanced at you with a weak laugh, “No, I mean ya, my name’s Mallory. I sort of collect ducks, always loved them, nickname sort of stuck.” After wetting her lips she asked, “You live with the wood shop Brothers?”

You nodded, “Ya, my godfathers. Bifur and Bofur.”

“Oh, your, um, parents live far away? Nobody really talks about you growing up.”

You glanced at her with a weak chuckle, “We lived on a military base in Valinor, there was an attack when I was eleven. Got sent around until they finally followed my Mother’s wishes and sent me here.” In another glance at her you giggled saying with a smile, “No need to have that face, or apologize. You didn’t do it. People just assume it’s a sore subject being so far from Valinor, but honestly I prefer the silence.”

She nodded and glanced at the road as you pulled out of the edge of town, “You get along with all the Durins? I noticed the guys seem to like you.”

You chuckled and said, “Um. That’s a loaded question.”

She peered over at you, “How?”

“By Dwarvish standards, I’m not very attractive.” Her brow inched up, “More so when I was younger. I didn’t have many friends. I preferred being on my own, sort of added to the silence on where I came from. Fili and Kili were popular. It wasn’t till a few years back they really noticed how, entertaining, I guess for lack of a better term, I was. We’re sort of finding our footing as friends.”

“Oh. Not more than friends?”

In a glance at her you giggled again, “We’re practically family.”

Mal, “You’re not interested at all? I mean Kili-,”

You giggled again, “Kili,” you glanced at her instantly seeing she wasn’t going to let this go reminding you of her attentions on him since she first spotted him, “I can see how others find him attractive.” The gaze of her emerald eyes was practically burning into the side of your face, “Can I tell you something honestly?”

You glanced at her and caught her eager nod, “Only my godfather’s really know this. I have a cousin, he pulled me away from the fires on the base, kept me safe. Kili reminds me of him.” You glanced at her again catching her exhale of relief, “Growing up it was nice seeing someone so, identical from time to time. Might have given some a hint of a crush but, I just missed my cousin.” She nodded again, “If anything I, and now you cannot tell anyone, I will deny this, I had the hugest crush on Fili. He still gets me with those damn dimples of his when his eyes light up.”

Mal chuckled, “Damn dimples.” She wet her lips, “You do know he follows you around, Kili.”

You glanced at her with another nod, “Summer before you moved in, we sort of had a falling out. He thought he was helping and he managed to just really stab me in the chest. He’s still trying to make it up to me I guess. That’s why the guys don’t like leaving him alone with me. In case he says anything stupid. Again.”

Mal, “His girlfriend, she seems-..”

“I know, Dis and I get the same off feeling about her. Eventually Kili will catch on. He’s got such a gentleness about him he needs to learn how to stick up for himself for once.” In another glance at her you asked, “So what books are you going for?”

Her face lit up and she started spilling about the series she was hoping to fill out as your mind instantly jumped to wondering what Oropher was up to wishing you could have done all this with him.

…

For the near hour long drive you watched the speck in the distance growing nearer until you were driving through the great city. Outside the massive book shop you let her out giving her your number as you drove a few squares over to the main shop, more like warehouse, you were to shop for your furniture. “Barge on in’ was stamped on the outside of the building and you parked and entered the ridiculously named place. Which really was just a collection of smaller companies all bound together to improve their sales by sharing a single location for browsing. With a sigh you eased the cardigan on from the seat behind you to warm it up on the ride over as the cool air in the doorway hit you.

Straight to the couches you started already feeling the eyes of the already busy salesmen along the way wishing they were free as you smoothed your fingers through your hair as it drooped over your shoulder. Easing the few tangles free until you came to a set of couches making you come to the admission that you believed not to ever have very many guests at all. Between the leather pair and the velour one you scanned over them then moved on to a comfy looking grey set not far away only to step back at the salesman with a wide grin who hopped over the back of it extending his legs onto the foot rest asking, “Just browsing or something more serious?”

His brow ticked up and you freed your lower lip from between your teeth, “Depends how busy you might get.”

“What could you mean by that?” His hand patted the cushion beside his making you roll your eyes and step closer after his purr, “Come on, can’t buy a couch on looks alone.”

Easing back into the couch that was just plushy enough to sink into and oversized enough to allow you ample room for spreading out with a blanket, “It is comfy.”

He looked you over, “Choosing for you or your boyfriend?” He asked scanning over your hands for any sign of a wedding band.

You shook your head, “No, seems large enough for spreading out with a good book.”

“Ah. Current couch not pulling its weight?”

“Current couch isn’t mine. Got my own place finally, need to fill it. Hence the busy comment, a lot to look for.”

He grinned offering his hand, “Bard, at your service.”

You shook his hand after raising your mental wall, “Jaqi. Bard, as in the Bard on the building?”

He nodded, “And I rarely get called away, take as long as you need browsing.” He grinned again at your nod then rose when you did asking with a gesture at the couch, “Up to snuff?”

You nodded, “I’ll take it.”

He nodded moving to grab one of the info sheets for the couch set then asked, “What are we looking for next?”

“I need some side tables and a desk set next, then the new bed frame and dresser, two sets actually, then a wardrobe, not sure what I’ll put in it yet.”

Bard chuckled, “For you or your guests?”

“I’m not exactly sure if I’ll have guests. We usually go to my godfather’s cousin’s house. It’s the largest for family events.”

He chuckled, “So, a wardrobe for a mysterious reason. Not a problem. My youngest absolutely loves them, keeps her art supplies in it.”

“Ooh, good choice. Might use mine for blankets though, extra pillows maybe for the living room.”

He nodded, “Nice choice, perfect for reading.”

“Well it does feed into the study, which I managed to pack an extra set of shelves for my books.”

He grinned and guided you to the area for tables and tried to guess which ones you would choose in each area you were led to next, each time being pleasantly wrong. A couple hours later however you were joined by Mal, who was practically giddy, bouncing as she delved into her choices as you looked through the mattresses on your last stop. Rolling your eyes you ignored her rock like choice to move towards the cloudlike mattresses and picked it for yourself with a firmer one for any guests you might possibly ever have. With the last items checked off your list you followed Bard to his office to ring it all up making Mal’s mouth drop open at the total.

A swipe of your card later and you signed the final papers and set up a delivery time then made your way to the next set of shops, before parking again Mal had already started reading and you left her in the truck to walk through the bath and bedding shop. Two carts were filled, paid for and transferred into the covered bed of the truck with only one more stop after at the paint shop. Climbing in again when you locked the cover to the bed you started the drive back home again, thankful for being able to handle all of your main needs in one trip while also aiding the young woman still new to town you hoped to possibly befriend someday.

Outside Bilbo’s cottage you parked and cleared your throat signaling Mal you had arrived. In a curious glance up she gave you a wave and hopped out of the truck and dashed inside to continue reading. Wetting your lips you drove the few minutes away to unload everything in your new cottage then drove the truck off to Dwalin’s leaving him the keys, stealing a glimpse in at the boys and their projects and walking home again.

Unable to sleep you packed the sheets and beddings in the closets near where they were going and set up the items for the bathrooms and kitchen then started with the paint you had chosen for the kitchen to coat the bare spots of the walls. After cracking the windows you moved on to the dining room and managed to get through the whole house by morning. The doorbell broke your grin at finishing your task signaling the arrival of your new fridge and appliances you had ordered online. Finally aired out you closed the windows and groaned moving to your pile of pillows in the middle of the living room for a nap after you had unloaded your groceries from your trip to the market in town.

Nightfall came with a sighting of your new neighbor. Once again the blonde was pacing in his own kitchen setting up his own cutlery and dishes where he deemed best between clear glances through the windows as, once you had changed into your bathing suit, you walked to the lake for a set of laps stealing a glance at Bifur and Bofur gladly helping their intendeds to move their belongings in. Again you forced yourself to smile knowing they had found their Ones and had fallen so happily into their new beginnings as you started yours. Sinking deeper into the cold waters you caught sight of the distant blonde, now shirtless openly watching you from between his open curtains making you mumble to yourself, “I forgot to buy the damn curtains…”

A sigh left you in your first stroke, for barely ten minutes you swam until a crash of thunder sounded making you sigh again knowing Bofur would come out if you didn’t go inside to drag you out of the lake himself. On the path in however you could feel those distant blue eyes on you while you wrung out your hair wondering why he hadn’t said anything or even tried to speak to you yet. Far from aware of the troubles his son had put him through in the past few years knowing you.

… Thranduil moves in …

Thranduil’s first day moving in had been a hassle, unbearably tedious after having helped his Father move into his place the day before. Box after box the house was filled and he just had enough and flat out refused to deal with the hassle of dinner. So after a long walk he strolled into the barely populated pub. Removed the jacket over his jeans and a sweater, laid his jacket over the back of a chair claiming the seat along the wall ordering a pint and their dinner special for the night before his eyes shifted landing on a beaming smile poking out from under a mess of frizzy curls.

One glance and he couldn’t look away, spending most of the night watching as you laughed at the jokes shared between the men at your table and the brunette from behind the bar that seemed to have a serious problem with him giving you any attention at all. But the redhead wearing his ring and beads openly declared you as free game, at least unless those beads tucked behind your ear bound you to one of the men at the table.

Walking back home the name he’d heard the others calling you appeared on a sign outside a large shop with a listing of the major machines you worked on, biting his lip he slid his hands in his pockets turning forward again mumbling to himself, “Sailing. Can’t be that hard.” Returning home his first mission was scanning through boat listings, mumbling again, “Can’t be in too good shape.” Finally he settled on the rusted boat with a bum seized up engine, clearly not worth the effort for some mechanics, but he had the money and it certainly would give him more than enough time to gather the courage to speak with you.

...

Frerin, “Ooh, look at that, another blonde.”

Softly you stated, “That would be the son.”

Thorin chuckled mumbling as he raised his glass for a sip, “Never guessed that one.”

Dwalin chuckled stating, “You’d think he’d come over, the raving blonde just keeps staring. Right at you.”

You rolled your eyes, “Probably cuz I’m covered in grease and my hair is a poofed out mess.”

Thorin, “Still, at least we’d figured he’d say hello.”

“He just moved in.”

Frerin, “Ya, but you’ve been like kin to his Adad years now, thought he’d love to steal a chance at an instant friend.”

“He’s had years to meet me, probably just as happily married.”

Dwalin gruffly chimed in, lowering his mug from a sip, “Not unless he’s got another hand hidden somewhere for his wedding band.” That made you force your face to remain still realizing the reason the giant Adonis on legs kept staring at you and stayed away was because he possibly was just overworked and possibly shy.

Frerin made you roll your eyes stating, “Bet’s on five days to wander over for a hello.”

Thorin nodded, chuckling and patting the table as Gloin copied down the bets on the next table over, grinning as Thorin stated, “One month on actually asking you out.”

Rolling your eyes you heard them planning your whole expected timeline out just mentally hoping that this time it won’t be just teasing, that just once the object of this game could actually like you and make a move, eventually.

A few hours had passed when the lights were switched on in your small cottage and he caught a glimpse of you lowering onto the floor after the lights cut off to sleep. A sight nearly driving him down across the stretch of green between you to bring you to one of his fully furnished spare rooms Oropher had taken so much of his free time in pulling together to fit the lavish abode. But he kept his distance and finalized the details on payment with the owner of the rusted heap he wished to have you tear apart and rebuild for him.

Lunch rolled around and once again you sat at the pub wondering when the phone call alerting you of the delivery of your furniture would arrive. Lost in thought you sat at the bar tapping a pretzel stick into a napkin narrowing your eyes the more you focused, completely missing the blonde along the wall watching you curiously while Kili lowered to rest his head on his crossed arms staring at you timing how long you were going between blinks.

The opening of the door and glint of light reflecting off the mirror behind the bar shining in your face snapped you out of your thoughts as you eyed the familiar brunette entering the pub. A grin eased onto his lips as he approached Sigrid, who just stepped out of the back room with a growing smile and an eager trot saying, “Da.” She giggled and asked after their hug, “What are you doing in town?”

Bard chuckled saying, with a wave of his cell phone, “Phone can’t find a signal, have to let a client know I’m coming. Thought I might drop in on you, ask if I could use yours.”

Sigrid giggled pointing at you signaling your wave and forced smile stirring his out again as you asked, “Wouldn’t happen to be my delivery would it?”

He nodded and asked, “Did you drive out here?” You shook your head and he motioned himself towards the door, “We’ve room in the truck, you can point us the right way.”

Again Kili swatted away your hand when you tried to pay making you roll your eyes on the path to the door. Behind him you climbed into the truck and guided it along to the house where you told the group of Men where to unload the largest pieces they unwrapped for you and left the smaller pieces in the living room for you to set up later as you wished.

…

Lunch had ended and back to the clinic Thranduil went, back to the unsettling waiting for anyone to show up at all. Still unable to sleep in the vast change he sipped on his latest cup of coffee then nearly knocked the table over jolting upright when the bell sounded alerting him to Bilbo coming in. The absence of the usual receptionist on the aid’s day off brought a momentary furrow to Bilbo’s brow as his Nephews filed in after him. Curiously the tall blonde smiled at the group then accepted Bilbo’s handshake, “Bilbo Baggins. My Nephews Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippen.”

He wet his lips through Thranduil stating, “Thranduil Greenleaf.”

Bilbo nodded shifting his weight on his feet, “We have an appointment for their annual check ups?”

Thranduil’s brows furrowed for a moment then he shook his head, “Sorry, my mistake, our receptionist quit a few days back and deleted two weeks of appointments out of spite. It appears I might just have to go round town knocking on doors to see who I’ll be upsetting next.”

Bilbo couldn’t help but chuckle as Thranduil did out of nerves for saying that, “Well I doubt you’d have to do more then just ask Dis to put a notice in the paper and by noon you’ll have all the names and times.”

Thranduil nodded, “I will remember that,” motioning to his office he said, “Right through here.” One at a time after finding their files he gave them a check up and recorded the information and moved to sit behind the desk to schedule their next appointment himself.

Bilbo glanced around then said, “You know I have a niece,” Thranduil peered up at him curiously, “She’s got a degree in records management and has worked as a receptionist before. She’s terribly bored in my shop, loathes aiding in working with the figurines, I could get her to drop by if you like.”

Thranduil chuckled, “That would, be a big help, thank you.”

Bilbo nodded accepting the reservation card, “I’ll send Mallard your way.” He nodded then guided the boys through the door leaving Thranduil with his brows furrowed.

Whispering to himself as he rose to put away their files he asked, “Mallard? I need some more coffee.”

Not ten minutes later he rushed back out of his office again finding a redheaded half hobbit in the doorway with a weak smile as Pippen dashed away again towards their shop leaving her to approach him offering her hand to say, “Mallory Baggins.”

He grinned, “Nice to meet you Mallory, I’m Thranduil Greenleaf.” He shifted on his feet in a step back, “I’ll show you around. To be certain.. You do want the job?”

She nodded, “Yes please, get me out of the shop.”

He wet his lips turning to show her the ins and outs of the clinic and what she would be expected to do and right away she filled out the employment papers and then dug into the files reorganizing them properly. Once that was done she did what Bilbo had suggested and dropped by on Dis’ break at the paper and sure enough sat at her new desk taking down the information for the appointments that had been lost she relayed to Thranduil.

Halfway through however she caught his eyes shifting to the windows peering out into the street catching your passing by with Dwalin. A grin eased onto her face when she looked down again to keep him from being embarrassed and then joined him on a walk after closing the clinic for their lunch break.

Inside the pub they gave their orders and as Mal recovered from her blush at having knocked over the same cup of toothpicks Kili kept moving in hopes of her missing it in his own little amusing game. She sat beside Thranduil, who gave her a soft smile trying not to openly stare at you between Frerin and Dwalin while Bilbo and Thorin eased into their own table sharing a hushed conversation of their own. His eyes snapped back to her as she said, “She’s single you know.”

Thranduil forced a smile, “My father mentioned that, yes.”

Mal nodded, “I could call her over..”

Thranduil landed his eyes on hers with a competitive smirk, “And I could easily call Kili over here to speak to you while I distract Miss Pear.” Her cheeks lit up and he chuckled as Kili leaned in over her shoulder to set their orders on the table marking his clear victory in this round of a game he knew she would not let up on.

…

It wasn’t till a couple days later after Thranduil had gratefully received word of the arriving boat he had finally managed to achieve a few hours of sleep together instead of short bursts of naps. So when a certain Durin had showed up late for his appointment he grinned at the chance to strike back at Mal after her latest urgings to him on having lunch with you. Shirtless on the table he sat asking about a scrape he got a few days prior checking at his request wondering if the stinging was due to an infection. His grin only deepened when Mal passed through the clinic to the cracked door she heard Thranduil’s voice through with a file for the next patient only to freeze wide eyed after scanning them over the dark hair coated bare chest on the curly haired grinning Dwarf.

Suddenly she ducked out of the room closing the door behind her only to crack it open passing the file through the door. “Mr Hrorn just arrived.”

Thranduil accepted it saying, “Thank you Mallard. We’ll be through in a moment.”

Kili grinned and bit his tongue through the final bandage being added to his back after a cleaning of the scrape and a shot of antibiotics. Back in the waiting room leaning on the counter he grinned at Mal after Thranduil led Mr Hrorn through to the exam room and lowly stated, “You don’t look like a Mallard to me.” Firing a wink at her making her blush brightly on his path to the door.

Pt 5

#Thranduil x Reader OC #Kili x OC #bagginshield

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the-darklings · 5 years

Text

[lets talk about writing]

Thank you so much to my lovely girls @deviantramblings & @thedragonkween for tagging me, this was a little different but I really enjoyed answering these!

(putting answers under the cut because I got carried away ayyy)

–

short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels. This is purely because I like stories building from the ground up and getting completely sucked into a different world. I could spend days upon days reading novels tbh. Short stories have recently grown on me though. They can really pack a punch and take a lot of skill to do well. Poems...everyone has very different opinions on what is actually considered “poetry”.

what genre do you prefer reading?

I’m huge on Fantasy. Throw in some Romance (rarely on its own though), Sci-Fi, Mystery and we’re good to go. I enjoy the richness of fantasy worlds because it takes a really good author to do good world building/magic systems etc. Also, I’m a sucker for political manipulations and magic.

what genre do you prefer writing?

Depends on my mood. I suppose at the core of my writing is Romantic fluff/angst. Though I also really enjoy writing Sci-Fi (though, again, I’m nowhere near intelligent enough for hard Sci-Fi lol).

are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

I used to be a chaotic writer. Never planned anything and suffered for it tbh. Now I certainly plan more but I’m also a very big mood person so it’s a mix between the two truthfully.

what music do you listen to while writing?

I have entire playlists built for certain characters and had music inspire me while I’m writing lots of times before. It’s like air to me. But the actual content of these playlists varies because some songs might be there for a certain reason? Sometimes it’s sad, sometimes it’s very upbeat or dark. Each song usually corresponds to certain fics/scenes etc.

fave books/movies?

We’re going to be here a while ayyyy:

Books: Harry Potter, The Book Thief, The Poppy War (is it duology? series? dunno but the first book alone is worth a mention), Misborn Series, Shades of Magic Series, Vicious, The Grisha Trilogy/Six of Crows Duology, The Hunger Games, Alice (and many, many more)

Movies: The Shawshank Redemption, Inception, Beauty and the Beast, The Dark Knight Trilogy, Gladiator, LOTR/The Hobbit trilogies, Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron, Rise of the Guardians, the majority of Marvel movies (and many more yet again.)

any current WIPs?

Too many to count ayyy. But I’m currently slowly writing my first Arthur Morgan x Reader fic. It’s at 3.5k so far.

if someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

Black jeans, white/black/white/red or grey shirt, leather/denim jacket and sneakers.

create a character description for yourself:

A (poorly) multitasking idiot addicted to coffee and complex characters that will never be real.

do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

Rarely. But fun fact, in by the grace (of hatred in my veins) the criminal that kidnaps the Reader? He was based on my former best friend lol.

are you kill-happy with characters?

Depends on the situation. I typically dislike unhappy endings because I want shit to work out in my fiction, ya know? Make me suffer but gimme a happy ending. That being said, as all of you know by now, I’m fine with hurting/killing characters if the narrative requires it. I do what needs to be done lol.

coffee or tea while writing?

Both. Tea more often than coffee because I do most of my writing later in the day but yes.

slow or fast writer?

Again, depends. I can write anywhere from 200 a day to 4k a day. Depends on the day/time I have available to me, and most importantly, inspiration.

where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

I’m a very visual person. I have Pinterest boards, writing inspo tag etc. photography, quotes, they all inspire me a great deal. Music as well. They’re all crucial to my creative process.

if you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

Assassin. Because I would be out to get all that ass and get rich obviously. Bonus points if I get cool superpowers.

most fave book cliche? least fave book cliche?

Fave: enemies to lovers or just power couples in general. Nothing more brilliant that two people who hate each other and through circumstances come to realise that they are more alike than they ever imagined. Terrifying separately, a pure nightmare together. Shout out to mutual pining, and slowburn too.

Least fave: cookie cutter “chosen one”. I’ve seen this trope done really well but most of the time it irks me so much. Especially in fantasy books because I feel like I’m reading the same character over and over again.

fave scenes to write?

Angst and romantic tension scenes. Kisses are fun too because you really poke around the sensations/thoughts/feelings of a character.

most productive time of day for writing?

I try to do as much writing as possible during the day but it rarely works out because I’m typically really busy during the day. Evening time is when I sit behind my computer properly so I try to dedicate it to the blog (like answering your questions etc) but I now take a more chill approach and write more during the evening time. But again, my productivity depends on my mood/health.

reason for writing?

Enjoyment (despite how painful it is). The idea of others liking my writing is amazing though. I’ll be honest, I also find people really fascinating? I like thought process/construction of characters and these wild stories you are able to tell through words alone. Writing is just pure creation? I love it. My friends would probably tell you that I also have a lowkey God Complex lmao.

–

tagging: @drmsqnc // @connorshero // @deviantcrimes // @thirium-ink // @deviancy-wasteland // @deviantsupporter // @the-kryomancer // @shadows-echoes & @negotiator-on-site and anyone else who decides they’d like to try it!!

#this was fun!#thank you for the tag #tagged #about me #etc #tag game

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berjhawn · 7 years

Text

Lost Lothlorien Princess - Part 17 - A Past Revealed

Warnings: Blood, dark shit, ETC

Pairings: LOTR X READER ; Legolas X Reader

Parts:

Part 1 - High School

Part 2 - Rivendell

Part 3 - Concerning Hobbits

Part 4 - Merry and Pippin

Part 5 - Bree

Part 6 - Aragorn

Part 7 - The Council

Part 8 - The Road Ahead

Part 9 - Moria

Part 10 - Lothlorien

Part 11 - Boromir

Part 12 - Fangorn Forest

Part 13 - Rohan

Part 14 - Helms Deep

Part 15 - Haldir

Part 16 - Feast for the Fallen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I look around and once again I am in the burnt fields of Mordor, Sauron a few feet away smiling maliciously. I gulp down a breath of air as I say, “Answer me one thing,” His smile grows as he says, “What ever you wish my child.” I groan inwardly in annoyance as I say, “What did you do to me that day all those years ago?” He chuckles as he says, “Why should I tell you when I can just show you?” I tilt my head in confusion but before I can say anything the scenery changes to the Elven city of Mirkwood. I look around to see my mother walking through the city followed closely by the Elven King of Mirkwood himself, Thranduil.

I watch in awe as she holds a little baby up into the air smiling at it while the baby laughed at her. “Is that… Me?” I ask as I walk up to them. “It is,” I hear Sauron say and I stare at the baby.

“Thranduil, the enemy is moving. Soon he will come for her. I need to send her away to protect her before it is too late.”

“Then we must contact Mithrandir, it will take the three of us to send her far from his reach.” Galadriel nods as she walks over to a little cradle and gently places the babe down. All the sudden a little blonde headed child runs over to Thranduil and hides behind his robes. “Legolas, my child this little one sleeping is to one day be your wife. You must protect her when she returns.”

“Legolas?” I say as I slowly reach out to them only to have my hand pass through them like they were phantoms of my mind. Galadriel smiles brightly as she leans down and gently places a kiss upon the baby’s brow, “Sleep for now Poikaer, for soon you shall be safe.”

Then with a quick glance back at the baby; Galadriel, Thranduil, and Legolas leave the room. I look back over at the baby right as Sauron walks up beside me and says as he leans his mouth against my ear, “They wanted to take you away from me, but they made one tiny mistake. I am everywhere.”

I shiver at his closeness but watch as suddenly the scene becomes dark as Sauron moves like a shadow into the baby’s room. I watch as he leans down and lifts the child into his arms her eyes wide and staring at the man. “You will leave yes, but you shall return and once you do; you shall be mine.” I watch as the memory Sauron cuts his hand and lets the thick dark liquid pour from his hand into the baby’s mouth. I feel my stomach wretch at the thought of having his blood inside my. ��You are now my own blood, you will be my ultimate weapon; my little ______.” He says as he lays me back down into the crib and then instantly disappears.

The scene suddenly returns to that of Mordor and I fall to my knees clutching my arms close to me. “What have you done to me? What have you made me?” I say as my knuckles turn white.

“You were always supposed to be mine. I have every right to reclaim what is rightfully mine!” He yells out and suddenly I feel my body heat up. I look down at my hands to see the fiery vines wrap around my arms burning my skin making me scream out in pain. “Do not fight it my child, you shall soon become like me.”

“I don’t wanna be like you!” I yell out as I force myself to my feet my eyes blazing orange like a wildfire.

He smiles as he says, “You say that, but with each passing second you are becoming exactly what was foretold. You shall join me and help me take over Middle Earth.”

Suddenly I feel my body heat up like it was completely on fire and I stare daggers at the dark lord as I say, “I will never join you!” I feel the heat intensify and suddenly I realize that every time I get angry the heat intensifies making him happier. If I wanted to stay myself and not become what he wanted me to be I had to calm down. “_______!!” I hear a familiar voice scream my name.

“_______! Wake up!” I hear the familiar voice cry out again and I feel my anger subside. “Please Melamin!” My heart jumps as I realize who it is.

“Legolas,” I say a smile covering my lips.

“He will burn, they will all burn!” I hear Sauron say and instead of letting his words get to me I think of my friends, all of them. They all trusted me and in their own way loved me; I couldn’t betray them and turn dark. As thoughts of them fill my head I smile letting my love flow from my heart causing the fire to subside as the silver vines once again return to my arms making me smile brightly.

All the sudden my eyes turn shiny silver and I turn to Sauron as he says, “No… NO! This isn’t how it was supposed to go! It was foretold, you were to be my new vessel!”

My face turns melancholy as I say, “I pity you,”

He growls as he says, “You ‘pity’ me?”

I smile softly as I say, “You shall never know the meaning of love or being loved. That is why you will fall.” His body suddenly disappears leaving his fiery eye staring at me from atop his tower. “I am sorry,” I say as I turn from him and suddenly wake up to Legolas’s frightened blue eyes.

“_______?” He says his eyes searching mine for some sort of sign. I smile as I say, “Iston i nîf gîn,” He pulls me into his chest as he says, “I was so worried.” I hold tight to him for a moment before I pull away to see my father standing a few feet away a worried expression on his face. “Ada, Mani marte?” I ask as I pull myself to my feet.

“We need to speak alone for a moment Legolas,” Gandalf says as he walks over to me. Legolas hesitates for a moment before he nods and walks back inside. Once the two of us are alone he leans down and tilts my face up to look at him.

“Tell me what happened!” He says urgency in his eyes. I sigh as I quickly tell him about Sauron and then looking at his face fill with worry I say, “He was here wasn’t he? It wasn’t just a dream.” Gandalf nods as he says, “he tempted the young Peregrin Took.” I gulp down a breath of air as I say, “I won’t let him hurt anymore of my friends; but I don’t know how to defeat him. I got lucky as I didn’t fall for his tricks now but what if when I get closer to Mordor I can’t control myself?” He sighs as he says, “We do not know, all we know is that somehow you must defeat the bond he has with you on your own.” I sigh as I wrap my arms around him. “I saw everything, I felt the fire burning my skin. I was becoming something dark something evil and some part of me liked it.”

He gently pats my head as he says, “It wasn’t you, it was the part of you that Sauron placed within you.” I sigh and nodding I pull away from him and walk over to Fili who was staring at me in concern. “Once you collect yourself I would appreciate it if you met us in the throne room.” He says and I nod.

After a while I reach the throne room right as my father says, “There was no lie in Pippin’s eyes. A fool but an honest fool he remains.” I look at Merry who was sitting closely to his friend. “He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring.”

I look over to see Gimli sighing with relief as my father continues saying, “We’ve been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantir a glimpse of the enemy’s plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm’s Deep showed our enemy one thing. He knows the Heir of Elendil has come forth.” He nods to Aragorn before he continues, “Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still. Strength enough, perhaps, to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle Earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a King return to the throne of men. If the beacons of Gondor are lit Rohan must be ready for war.”

I look to Théoden as he says, “Tell me! Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?”

“I will go!” Aragorn pipes up and my father instantly says, “No!”

“They must be warned!”

“They will be.” Gandalf approaches closely to Aragorn and speaks in a low voice, “You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the river. Look to the black ships.” He turns from him and says, “Understand this, things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith and I won’t be going alone.” I look at Pippin and suddenly want to wrap my arms around him.

Gandalf walks up to me and says, “My child you must stay with Aragorn, he will need your help with his upcoming tasks.” I nod as I give him a brief smile. I watch as he walks away with Merry and Pippin following closely behind him. “Worry not ______, You still have us.” I hear Gimli say as he stands next to Aragorn and Legolas. I smile as I walk over to them and say, “Thank you, I know you all have every reason to be angry with me; but you must understand why I couldn’t tell you.”

Aragorn smile softly as he places his hands on my shoulders and says, “We understand and will be therefore you no matter what happens. As long as there are no more lies.” I smile and wrapping my arms around him say, “I promise, no more lies.” When I pull away the four of us walk outside right as Merry runs past us and up the steps to the top of a watchtower. “Merry!” Aragorn yells out as He and I follow quickly after him. When we reach him we turn and watch Shadowfax fading off into the distance.

“He’s always followed me everywhere I went since before we were tweens. I would get him into the worst sort of trouble but I was always there to get him out. Now he’s gone.” He looks at Aragorn as he continues, “Just like Frodo and Sam.” I look over at Aragorn as he says, “One thing I’ve learnt about Hobbits: They are a most hardy folk.”

“Foolhardy maybe. He’s a Took!” Merry says and we all laugh.

As the days pass I once again get close to my companions but not too close with Legolas. I had meant what I said when I said he had a future I wasn’t in and I wasn’t going to Welch on my decision now. I was surprised to see that none of them asked me about the future, I didn’t know if they were just scared of the outcome or if they were respecting my wish to not tell them. I was sitting in the hall with Gimli when Aragorn bursts through the door shouting, “The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid.” There is a hesitation from each person as my eyes move from person to person ending on Théoden.

“And Rohan will answer! Muster the Rohirrim.” Théoden calls out and Eomer bows to him and leaves. The bell rings out to gather the Rohirrim together. I follow closely behind Aragorn as we make our way down to the stables. As we reach them I look around for Fili and see him licking his paws as he nestles into the hay next to Aragorn’s horse. Giving a quick whistle he runs up to me and I smile as I start to fasten his saddlery to him.

When we walk outside I turn to see Eowyn and as she reaches up Aragorn says, “Do you ride with us?”

“Just to the encampment. It’s tradition for the women of the court to farewell the men.” Aragorn moves a blanket to reveal Eowyn’s sword. She snatches it down back over it and looks at him. “The men have found their captain. They will follow you into battle. Even to death. You have given us hope.” She smiles at him and Aragorn turns away uneasy.

“It will be alright Aragorn.” I say as I walk past him to where Legolas and Gimli are once again on a horse together. Giving them a smile I quickly climb up onto Fili’s back as Gimli says, “Horse men! I wish I could muster an army of Dwarves, fully armed and filthy.”

“Your kinsmen may have no need to ride to war. I fear war already marches on their own lands.” Legolas replies and I sigh as I turn back to see the soldiers getting ready to leave. Merry is trying to get his small horse to move. Aragorn mounts his horse as Eomer shouts, “Now is the hour, Riders of Rohan. Oaths you have taken. Now fulfill them all, to Lord and Land! Hah!”

The Riders gallop from Edoras. Merry gallops along with them too. I ride up next to him and smile as we ride forward together. When we reach the encampment A soldier calls out, “Make way for the King! Make way, the King is here!” As we ride through the encampment Théoden calls out, “Grimbold, how many?”

“I bring 500 men from the Westfold my lord.”

“We have 300 more from Fenmarch, Théoden King.”

“Where are the riders from Snowbourn?” Théoden asks and a soldier says, “None have come my lord.”

When we reach our high encampment I dismount Fili and say, “Stay with Merry, I’ll be back in a few.” The dog barks as he quickly follows the Hobbit away. I look around and upon finding them walk up to Aragorn and Théoden. Aragorn, Théoden, and I look down on the armies from their high encampment. “Six thousand spears, less than half of what I had hoped for.”

“Six thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor.” Theoden looks at him and says, “More will come,” He goes to walk away and Aragorn says, “Every hour lost hastens Gondor’s defeat.” He looks at Theoden and says, “We have until dawn then we must ride.”

Theoden nods his head in agreement. A neighing horse attracts his attention. We turn and notice how much difficulty the men have in calming down the horses that seem to be nervous of something. I sigh as I leave them behind and Look for Legolas and Gimli. I find them walking amongst the horses. When I reach them I turn to see Eomer who is saddling his horse. “The horses are restless and the men are quiet.” Legolas says causing me to look up at him. “They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain.”

I look past him at the small cleft through the rocks. “That road there where does that lead?” Gimli asks following my gaze. “It is the road to the Dimholt, the door under the mountain.” Legolas says and I find myself staring at the cleft as Eomer says, “None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil.” He walks away and I stare at the cleft as a man struggles to calm down a frightened horse. I see Aragorn stare at the pathway looking worried. “Aragorn!” Gimli says grabbing his arm causing Aragorn to jump and turns toward him as he continues, “Let’s find some food.”

As Aragorn follows closely behind Gimli, I turn to Legolas and nod toward them making him follow me over to them. As night falls and our stomachs full Aragorn leaves us to rest and I follow closely behind Legolas as he walk over to the edge of the cliff. “Do you see him?” He asks as he stares out over the valley. I follow his gaze and a smile covers my lips as I reply, “I do. He will be here soon. He will want to see Aragorn.” Moments later a lone rider on a grey horse appears riding along the steep path leading up the slope. I smile as I go to run to him only to stop as he enters Theoden’s tent.

“Worry not, he wouldn’t leave without seeing you.” Legolas says as he walks up beside me. I wait patiently as Theoden leaves and Aragorn enters the tent only to moment later leave once more a sword in his hand. When the lone rider appears I instantly run over to him and say, “Mae govannen Heruamin Elrond.” He turns to me and a smile covers his lips as he says, “Mae govannen ______.” I instantly wrap my arms around him and say, “I have missed you.”

“And I have missed you.”

“Have you been enjoying the books I left for you?” I say as I pull away from him. He chuckles as he says, “Your old world has quite a history.” I nod and say, “And Arwen?” His smile fades and I instantly remember how sick she gets.

“Do not fear my lord, I know she will live. So you must have faith.” He smiles softly as he says, “I do have faith.”

“I would love to keep you here but she needs you more than I.” He nods and giving me a quick smile says, “Namaarie ______.” I smile back as I say, “Namaarie Heruamin Elrond.” He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead before he returns to his horse and rides off back to Rivendell. Legolas walks up beside me and I say, “I know Aragorn is going to go through the trench. I am going to go with him. Will you?” I turn toward him and he smiles as he says, “I will.” Giving a quick whistle I wait patiently for Fili to arrive.

As Aragorn walks through the camp Gimli pipes up, “Just where do you think you’re off to?” Aragorn stops his horse and says, “Not this time. This time you must stay Gimli.” I smile as Legolas and I walk up from behind him and Legolas says, “Have you learnt nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?”

“You might as well accept it. We’re going with you laddie.” Aragorn smiles and I turn to see Fili run up beside me. Climbing into the saddle the four of us ride from the camp along the Dimholt road.

Will Continue in - Army Of the Undead

Tags

@talknerdytome25 @renner-hawkeyeloves @jotink78 @ohmigooosh @laurykat23

#berjhawn #The Lord of the Rings #lord of the rings fanfiction #lord of the rings #lotr fanfic #lost lothlorien princess #LOTR #lotr x reader #lord of the rings x reader #legolas x reader #legolas fanfiction #legolas greenleaf #legolas

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pinelife3 · 6 years

Text

Fuck Felurian

Matt got me into Patrick Rothfuss and the Kingkiller Chronicles last year. They’re really great. I’m a pathological sourpuss (known for getting 20 pages into a book and then putting it back on my bookshelf) so I think it’s significant that I got into the series, especially since it’s fantasy - a genre I rarely dabble in. An observation though: all of Rothfuss’ heroines are brunettes. And so is his wife. Coincidence or conspiracy? Does he just have a real hard on for brunettes, or does his wife rule him with an iron fist so that the mention of an attractive female with anything other than dark hair would cause her to rain down hellfire OR - fuck - was she originally a redhead who has dyed her hair brown to secure his affection after he’d written with such verve about brunettes? We will never know and it’s not important: we’re here today to criticise the part of the book featuring Felurian. I’m not even really going to try to theorise about what makes it so bad - I just want to complain. If you haven’t read Wise Man’s Fear this post will be boring to you - and if you have read it, it may still be boring.

(Disclaimer: I was blonde when I was younger but my hair now is basically the colour of cardboard. I like to describe it as beige mostly for laughs but also because it’s pretty apt.)

Thesis: the section of the book featuring Felurian is awful because:

It’s boring. A hot woodland princess who has weird child-like quirks (she’s a messy eater!) and can’t hold a conversation for shit - that’s boring, right? Nothing happens during the chapters he’s with her, apart from energetic off-screen sex. It’s not even titillating. If several chapters of your book are gonna be focused on the protagonist boning down we should at least get to read something hot. I believe that erotic fiction is typically aimed at women, but The Power of the Dog (a crime novel about Mexican drug cartels) which I presume is aimed at men, has a ridiculous hot sequence (which, in a sexually confusing twist, concludes with a woman being decapitated). Did he not include graphic details of the sex for fear of alienating his audience? I’d rather be disgusted than bored. (Theory: is it possible that Rothfuss deliberately made that section unbearable so that the scene with the Cthaeh would be even more compelling?)

The descriptive writing is incredibly bad. Like, as bad as my first year creative writing assignments from uni. Rothfuss is obviously a good writer as demonstrated across basically every other page of the book - so what gives?

Alright, let’s take a look:

I ate her with my eyes, knowing all the songs and stories I had heard were nothing. She is what men dream of. All the places I have been, all the women I have seen, I have met her equal only once.

He means his wife, guys. He loves his wife :’) I kinda wanna post her pic but I don’t wanna be mean to her when the point of this was to make fun of him. Not that she looks bad or anything, but she’s not an enchanted faery princess either. Not many people are. Okay, so that bit isn’t too bad, but then:

Felurian’s lips parted and she sighed, making a sound like a dove.

HOT. I, too, long to fuck a dove.

I forced myself to look away from her face, but there was nowhere safe to look. Her throat was smooth and delicate, trembling with her rapid pulse. One breast stood round and full, while the other angled slightly to one side, following the downward slope of her body. They rose and fell with her breath, moving gently, making candle-cast shadows on her skin.

Yeah I’ve seen a boob before but thanks. Is this interesting to anyone? We know she’s a hot girl. There are many girls like that but Felurian is supposed to be special - hotter in some way (and better at sucking dick). Do you get that from this description? It’s boring and not even doing it’s job well, like a drunk accountant.

I glimpsed the perfect whiteness of her teeth behind the pale pink of her parted lips…

Ooh she has teeth.

Her smile was like the moon through the clouds.

That set up from earlier really pays off here - she has teeth in her mouth and is able to smile.

Felurian giggled like a brook.

Sure.

Her laugh was wild as a fox’s cry, clear and sharp as morning birdsong.

Sigh.

She was slight, and pale, and perfect. Never have I seen a face so sweet, a mouth so made for kissing.

Vom.

Felurian went perfectly still, as if she were a startled deer or a cat about to pounce.

Foxes, cats, deer, doves, moons, brooks. We get it, this human reminds you of nature. It’s like he’s stuck in the woods and just uses anything in his line of sight to describe her.

You know how half the myth about Felurian was that no one who banged her had lived to tell the tale? Imagine if she just had some form of super virulent STD so all the dudes died from dick rot. Sounds less romantic than men going crazy and wasting away because she was such a great fuck. Still, it seems like no one gets STDs in fantasy books. I read an interesting article (or possibly Reddit post) talking about realism in fantasy - in addition to accepting the existence of dragons, elves, etc. the audience needs to believe that the hobbits wouldn’t have had to deal with blisters on their walk, and that no one got dysentery.

For a while I thought I was having a bad reaction to this section of the book because I’m a jealous girl and lush descriptions of a woman who is better than me in every way made me want to lash out and find fault with what I was reading... but I don’t think (/I hope) it’s not that. There are lots of other books I’ve read before where a male narrator is besotted by the looks of some girl. And I actually liked those bits because it made me feel wistful about the possibility of someone ever feeling that way about me. If you wanna read good descriptions of hot chicks, my faves are Nabokov and Eugenides (check out my post where I argue that Eugenides jacked Nabokov’s whole style).

I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that this section sucks and is un-sexy and uninteresting. The proof (or as close as I can be bothered getting to it) comes to us via An Archive of Our Own - a site dedicated to fan fiction of all sorts. Thousands of fandoms (Naruto, Twilight, LOTR, The Avengers, etc.) are represented on the site and users share their stories and receive feedback from readers. In addition to regular fan fiction fare, the site is also known for its erotica: if you ever wanted to know how a BDSM gang bang with Snape, Hagrid, Dumbeldore, Voldemort, Harry, and Hermione would shake out, they can help you with that. Anyway, The Kingkiller Chronicles seem less popular here than one might expect (weirdly, The Witcher is quite popular), but there are still 100 fan fiction stories on the site about Kvothe and co. Felurian is tagged as a character in one of these, but in a text search of the story her name doesn’t actually appear anywhere.

For a community of deviants who have managed to sexualise every character from Harry Potter, there is total disinterest in Felurian - supposedly the sexiest woman ever. I kid you not, Harvey Weinstein appears in more stories than her. Fan fiction may not be the best metric for measuring the popularity of a character, but I think it is telling - plus, I can now count myself in the fine company of the deranged users of An Archive of Our Own who also find Felurian boring.

#patrick rothfuss #wise man's fear #felurian #Nabokov #jeffrey eugenides #kingkiller chronicle #the witcher #kvothe

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ecoamerica · 15 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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ladygreytea76 · 7 years

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So I’m on AO3 and I see a lot of people who put “I do not own [insert fandom here]” before their story.

Like, I came on this site to read FAN fiction. This is a FAN fiction site. I’m fully aware that you don’t own the fandom or the characters. That’s why it’s called FAN FICTION.

#know your history #fanfic #fanfiction

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blankdblank · 6 years

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Tempted to do another prompt request

Don’t know why, just curious if anyone wanted to request some prompts. Got a compilation of lists i’ve seen on here before I glance through randomly sometimes for ideas for my other rambles and series.

Mostly do

Hobbit/LotR - Modern au/regular

Marvel - Mostly Loki w/ others thrown in

Celebs - Richard Armitage, Lee Pace w/ Hobbit cast thrown in, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland w/ various Marvel actors thrown in

You can add in scenarios or random items or locations if you like too.

It can also be y/n style if you want, otherwise i’ll probably use a variant of my usual oc to put it all together. :D

Prompt List

1 “Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2 “Can I buy you a drink?”

5 “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

6 “No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

7 “Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8 “This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9 “I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

10 “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

11 “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12 “Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13 “I am way too sober for this.”

14 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15 “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

16 “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

17 “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

18 “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

19 “Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

20 “You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

21 “Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

22 “I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

23 “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

24 “I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

25 “You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

26 “I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

27 “I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

29 “You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

30 “Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

31 “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

32 “Define normal.”

33 “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

34 “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

35 “And you wonder why you’re still single.”

36 “Remind me to kill you. Please.”

37 “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

38 “Were you dropped on your head?”

39 “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

40 “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

41 “My middle finger salutes you.”

42 “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

43 “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”

44 “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

45 “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

46 “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

47 “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

48 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

49 “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

50 “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

51 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

52 “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

53 “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

54 “I need therapy after this.”

55 “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”

56 “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

57 “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

58 “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”

59 “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

60 “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

61 “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

62 “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

63 “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

64 “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

65 “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

66 “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

67 “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

68 “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

69 “She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

70 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

71 “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

72 “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”

73 “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

74 “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

75 “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

76 “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

77 “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

78 “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”

79 “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

80 “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”

81 “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

82 “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

83 “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

84 “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

85 “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

86 “I like you. You’re different.”

87 “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

88 “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

89 “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

90 “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

91 “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

92 “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

93 “I care so little, I almost passed out.”

94 “Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

95 “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

96 “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

97 “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

98 “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”

99 “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

100 “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”

101 “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

102 “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

103 “Have fun being a big deal.” “I will.”

104 “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

105 “It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

106 “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”

107 “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

108 “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

109 “The girl is strange no question.”

110 “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

111 “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

112 “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

113 “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

114 “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

115 “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”

116 “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

117 “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

118 “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”

120 “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”

121 “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

122 “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

123 “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

124 “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

125 “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

126 “Such big evil in such a little thing.”

127 “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”

128 “What does not kill you will likely try again.”

129 “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”

130 “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

131 “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”

132 “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

133 “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

134 “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”

135 “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”

136 “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”

137 “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

138 “If you touch my food, I’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

139 “I found this cat. It doesn’t matter how exactly I found it, but we’re keeping it.”

140 “When I was a child, I wanted to be a fire hydrant because I wanted to help people. Well, it was a real let down when my mother told me that being an inanimate object wasn’t a valid option.”

141 “There’s not a single day in my life when I haven’t been thoroughly humiliated and it’s too late to change now.”

142 “Unfortunately, my tears of joy and tears of sadness are not so easy to tell apart.”

143 “Sex dream? About you? Nah…it was about, uh, my uncle!”

144 “How did I break my leg? Well, it’s a long story.”

145 “The punch was out of love. For myself.”

146 “I can 100 percent fall down those stairs without getting hurt.”

147 “You act like I’ve never been lost in a foreign country before.”

148 “I always knew I’d be digging my own grave, I just never expected it would be digging a literal grave.”

149 “I did not eat the cookies. I’ve never even seen a cookie in my life.”

150 “Closets are my mortal enemy. And snakes.”

151 “I am wearing your clothes but not for the reason you think I am.”

152 “I’m trapped under the bed again.” “What do you mean ‘again’?”

153 “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to eat that.”

154 “I’m no longer permitted to enter the city zoo because I ‘allegedly’ don’t understand boundaries.”

155 “I didn’t eat your chocolate bar–Oh, I have chocolate on my face? In that case, it attacked me.”

156 “They told me not to take that selfie in the emergency room but now I have a great profile pic for Halloween!”

157 “I’m not saying I’d fight a child, I’m merely saying my legs are longer, my arms are stronger, and my brain is superior.”

158 “I’ve never been to Japan until today, but I have no idea how I got here.”

159 “We rock, paper, scissors-ed it and I played fire. I won in principle, but lost in morality.”

160 “Trains are fun until you’re fighting the conductor.”

161 “The first time I saw the ocean I cried, but that’s mostly because I was choking on seawater.”

162 “There is no sign in the library that says no birds so how was I to know.”

163 “The chokehold was out of love. Why can’t you see that?”

164 “I know the police.” “What? You know all the police?” “Well, it’s more like they know me.”

165 “I thought I could do parkour, nay, believed but my faith is weak and my body weaker.”

166 “I only got stuck in a baby swing once. The other two times I managed to get myself out before the fire department arrived.”

167 “Elbows and knees. That’s the fight club motto.” “No, it’s really not.”

168 “I don’t get lost. I take the long way.”

169 “There’s a snake in my boot. No, I’m serious. Why is there a snake in my boot?”

170 “My doctor told me chocolate syrup is not an actual beverage. The more you know, huh?”

171 “I don’t fall in love. I faceplant.”

172 “If you try to high five a police officer, they will taze you.”

173 “I can do the splits but not on purpose.”

174 “I am the ruler of pigeons now. I didn’t know I was even a candidate, but here we are.”

175 “To be fair, I’m surprised I didn’t break more fingers.”

176 “Who knew bear traps were that common?”

177 “I will run away with you.”

178 “I am never coming back.”

179 “I forget time and space when I’m with you.”

180 “I don’t belong in your universe.”

181 “I’m dynamite ready to explode.”

182 “I don’t know where you’ve gone. It’s like you aren’t here anymore.”

183 “We are in this together – for better or for worse, do you hear me? I’m not giving up that easily.”

184 “You don’t even have to hold me, and I still feel safe with you.”

187 “Everything you think I need isn’t what I need. What I need is you.”

188 “I always come back to you.”

189 “You have to keep fighting.”

191 “I’m begging you. Please.”

192 “I need you to let me all the way in.”

193 “This was all just a game to you… wasn’t it?”

194 “I will give you heaven and I will give you hell.”

195 “Please, be gentle with me. I’ll break if you aren’t careful enough.”

196 “I promise I’ll be tender.”

197 “I can assure you that you are safe here… with me.”

198 “It is my duty to take care of you, so stop forcing me away.”

199 “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

200 “Take it – I don’t care. Take it all!”

201 “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

202 “You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.”

203 “Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me.”

204 “I don’t even remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep. I’m hallucinating things, I can’t focus for more than five minutes… I’m going crazy.”

205 “You were always beside me.”

206 “What happened to us? To you? I miss it.”

207 “There is no good in goodbye.”

208 “Say it again.”

209 “You look happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the reason for it.”

210 “Sometimes we get hurt and we just have to find a way to overcome it, and sometimes… sometimes it’s not enough to heal the wounds.”

211 “You’ll understand. You have to.”

212 “You lit a fire in my veins ever since the first time we held hands.”

213 “Don’t stop.”

215 “I don’t care! I don’t!”

216 “There are times I can drink the pain away, but this time it’s become impossible.”

217 “This pain… it’s still fresh. Give me time.”

218 “Your memory will burn like a fire.”

219 “It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading and I can’t stop it.”

220 “I won’t ever forget you.”

221 “I think I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if I can ever come back from this.”

222 “I prefer being alone.”

223 “To see you smile, I would do anything.”

224 “If you’re reading this then that means… that means I didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

225 “Fuck, I wish I could give you one more kiss, to feel your warmth, to see you smile… I miss you so much.”

226 “Don’t go too far, alright? I wanna be able to catch up to you, just give me time.”

227 “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

228 “You stood up for me.”

229 “You keep giving me excuses, what’s your problem?”

230 “Always be kind.”

231 “You’re so warm.”

232 “Oh my god! That was so not funny. These are fake tears, and that was sarcasm.”

233 “Damn damn diggity damn.”

234 “Daddy.”

235 “Run me over with your car.”

236 “Ew. Emotions.”

237 “I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh?”

238 “Stab me. No, seriously. Stab me.”

239 “That’s so stupid. Please, do it again.”

240 “But I’m not her.”

241 “I need you to see yourself as I do.”

242 “Breathe.”

243 “What are you running from? Why are you so scared?”

244 “Let’s do something spontaneous!”

245 “I can still feel every little kiss you pressed to my cheek.”

246 “I need to be closer to you.”

247 “It’s feels like I’m suffocating.”

248 “This will be the last time you lie to me.”

249 “You know it’s not like that.”

250 “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

251 “You’re never going to be the same after this.”

252 “I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

253 “I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

254 “You never loved me, did you?”

255 “It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

256 “I hope you’re happy.”

257 “If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

258 “What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

259 “Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

260 “You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

261 “I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

262 “This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

263 “I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

264 “When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

265 “You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

266 “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

267 “I hope you got what you wanted.”

268 “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

269 “When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

270 “Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

271 “If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

272 “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

273 “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

274 “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

275 “There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

276 “Your mind must be a horrible place.”

277 “You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

278 “How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

279 “I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

280 “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

281 “Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

282 “Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

283 “You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

284 “Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

285 “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

286 “I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

287 “If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

288 “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

289 “I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

290 “Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

291 “You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

292 “I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

293 “Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

294 “We should probably stop talking forever.”

295 “If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

296 “To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

297 “You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

298 “This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

299 “I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

300 “I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

301 “Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

302 “Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

303 “I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

304 “Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”

305 “You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

306 “I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

307 “Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

308 “This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

309 “You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

310 “Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

311 “Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

312 “Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

313 “You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

314 “My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

315 “You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

316 “Evil doesn’t come close.”

317 “Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

318 “I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

319 “Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

320 “You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

321 “No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

322 “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

323 “This is always how it ends.”

324 “Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

325 “Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

326 “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

327 “You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

328 “I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

329 “Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

330 “She drowned and he lost his mind.”

321 “We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

332 “You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

333 “Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

334 “You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

335 “Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

336 “Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

337 “I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

338 “Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

339 “Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

340 “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

341 “Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

342 “After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

343 “What made you think I cared for you?”

344 “It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

345 “Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

346 “Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

347 “Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

Already requested – but still requestable

3 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4 “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

28 “Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

119 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

185 “Be with me.”

186 “I’m vulnerable around you, and it only gets worse when you smile.”

190 “I’m surrendering myself to you; body and soul. What more do you want?”

214 “Please, just… touch me.”

348 “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

349 “Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

350 “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

351 “Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

352 “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

353 “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

354 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

355 “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

356 “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

357 “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

358 “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

359 “It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

360 “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

361 “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

362 “I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

363 “What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

364 “I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

365 “How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

366 “We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

367 “Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

368 “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

369 “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

370 “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

371 “I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

372 “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

373 “Why are they afraid of you?”

374 “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

375 “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

376 “Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

377 “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

378 “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

379 “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

380 “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

381 “I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

382 “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

383 “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

384 “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

385 “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

386 “If I survive, can I go home?”

387 “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

388 “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

389 “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

390 “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

391 “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

392 “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

#Prompt Request

9 notes · View notes

berjhawn · 7 years

Text

Elastic Heart - Part 2 - The Beginning

Warnings: None really

Pairings: LOTR X OFC; Hobbit X OFC; Thranduil x OFC; Fili X OFC

Parts:

Prologue

Part 1 - An Unexpected Journey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

The next morning I hear the sound of the Dwarves getting around and I take a deep breath. I had been alone for centuries and that was my choice. I didn’t trust anyone and now I would be leading a group of Dwarves through the countryside to Mirkwood. My stomach clenches at the memory of the last time I was surrounded by men and I instantly swallow my despair and stand up. I see the fair haired dwarf walking out of the door and I smirk as I jump down behind him causing him to draw his sword and attempt to strike me with it, but I swiftly bring Ithildin up to block his swing.

I smile as I say, “You’ll have to be quicker than that to harm me.”

He stares at me for a moment clearly trying to read me before he says, “I’ll remember that.”

I watch as he pulls his sword away and quickly sheathes it and I follow suit. “I’m called Randír, what do they call you?” I ask trying to be polite.

“Fili,” He says giving me a slight bow that I respectfully return before I say, “If you don’t mind me asking, where are you off to?”

“I’m off to find some ponies for our journey.” He says as he gently lays his hand on the hilt of his sword. I smile softly as I say, “Do you mind some company?” He smirks and I find that he has a nice smile, “Why not, you could help me bring them back.”

I nod before I glance at all his knives and daggers and say, “So, you like swords and daggers?”

He lets out a laugh as he says, “I do,”

I give a genuine smile as I say, “I do to, my father used to make some of the finest swords in middle earth; Men, elves, and dwarves used to come from miles around to claim a sword made by him.” My heart tinges at his memory but it’s a soft tinge.

“Really?” He says curiosity and interest in his voice and I instantly feel like I have said too much. ‘Dammit Randír, you don’t have a father; Melethril does.’ I quickly change the subject as I say, “It was a long time ago. Nowadays I just roam the countryside killing Orcs, trolls, and bandits.” As I say the word Orc I put as much disgust in my voice as I can muster. He suddenly stops in his tracks and his eyes find mine as he says with shock full in his voice, “That was you? I thought the mysterious masked bandit was a man.”

I roll my eyes as I say, “That’s very misogynistic of you master dwarf.”

“I did not mean anything bad by it, I was just shocked that a woman could be capable of that, a human woman at that.” As he says the words human I feel it hit me like a rock. The dwarves think I’m human. That was a hurdle I would have to come to later but I guess the sight of my shortened hair helped me with my lie.

“There are reasons we become the things we are.” I say as I stare off ahead of us not wanting to see the curiosity in his icy blue eyes. I knew that he wanted to know more and I let out a sigh of relief as he decides against it. The two of use quickly make it to a nearby farm and after purchasing his entire stock walk back to the hobbit hole chatting just like old friends. It was nice to have someone to talk to again. I didn’t know why but it was easy to talk to him.

After we get back and the dwarves quickly climb into their saddles we head out on our journey. Kili asked me why I wasn’t riding a pony and I smile as I said, “I like to walk.” A few minutes after we left Bilbo joins us. I smile as coin pouches go flying through the air. As the wind starts to blow I pull my hood over my head to conceal my ears as we quickly make our way through the countryside.

~~~~~~~~~~

One night when we are camped near the edge of a cliff I find myself sitting on its edge looking out over the moonlight scenery. Most of the dwarves are asleep; Gandalf, Bilbo, Fili, and Kili are awake. I glance to the side to see Bilbo walk over to his pony and gives her an apple, after checking to see that no one is looking.

“Hello, girl. That’s a good girl. It’s our little secret, Myrtle; you must tell no one. sh, sh” He says to her and I smile but my smile instantly fades as I hear a scream in the night air and instantly know what it is. My hand instinctively goes to Ithildin’s hilt. I hear Bilbo’s feet as he runs over to Fili and Kili and asks, “What was that?”

“Orcs.” Kili says as another scream is heard.

“Orcs?” Bilbo says again and I sense the fear thinkin his voice.

“Throat cutters. There’ll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them.” Fili says and I feel my throat clench up making it hard for me to breathe.

“They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet; no screams, just lots of blood.” Kili says and I know they are messing with Bilbo but I feel my anger rise in my chest. I hear Fili and Kili laugh to themselves and I clench my fists so tight my fingernails stab into my palms.

“You think that’s funny? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?” I hear Thorin say and I turn to see his face full of anger and disgust.

“We didn’t mean anything by it.” Kili says instantly regretting his little joke.

“No, you didn’t. You know nothing of the world.” Thorin says as he walks up beside me and looks out over the valley. I follow his gaze and silently pray that the Orcs don’t come our way.

“Don’t mind him, laddie. Thorin has more cause than most to hate Orcs. After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had gotten there first.” I hear Balin say and I slowly turn away from Thorin and to Balin as I listen to his story.

“Moria had been taken by legions of Orcs lead by the most vile of all their race: Azog, the Defiler. The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by beheading the King.” My heart clenches as my father’s impaled form crawls into focus. I quickly shake my head ridding my mind of the scene as Balin continues, “Thrain, Thorin’s father, was driven mad by grief. He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know. We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him: a young dwarf prince facing down the Pale Orc.”

I look over at Thorin and find myself envisioning him face a Pale Orc. “He stood alone against this terrible foe, his armor rent…wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield. Azog, the Defiler, learned that day that the line of Durin would not be so easily broken. Our forces rallied and drove the Orcs back. Our enemy had been defeated. But there was no feast, no song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived. And I thought to myself then, there is one who I could follow. There is one I could call King.”

I turn back to Balin to see that now the entire Company is awake and standing in awe, staring at Thorin. Thorin walks between them toward the fire. “But the pale Orc? What happened to him?” Bilbo asks and I find myself honestly curious myself.

“He slunk back into the hole whence he came. That filth died of his wounds long ago.” Thorin says and I don’t know why but I have a sudden feeling that he is wrong. I want to tell them that I have my own history with Orcs but I remain quite. I didn’t want to talk about that, not just yet.

I feel a warm liquid fall from my hands and upon pulling them up to my face I open them to see that I had drawn blood. I let out a heavy sigh as I rip a clothe form the hem of my jacket and tie my hands stopping the bleeding. After they are bandaged I turn my gaze back out over the scenery as I take the first shift of night watch.

~~~~~~~~

The days pass until we arrive at an old, abandoned farmhouse that is in ruins. My heart drops as I look around the ruins that just months before held a farmer and his family. I had know them very well. I look around for signs of what happened when I hear Gandalf say, “I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley.” My heart clenches at its mention.

“I have told you already, I will not go near that place.” Thorin says and I instantly feel my body relax.

“Why not? The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice.”Gandalf says and I start to feel myself hyperventilate.

“I do not need their advice.”

“We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us.”

“Help? A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father.” My eyes widen, I didn’t know that he had that kind of history with elves.

“You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past.”

“I did not know that they were yours to keep.” Suddenly Gandalf stomps off angrily, leaving the Company.

“Everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?” I hear Bilbo ask as Gandalf storms past him.

“To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.”

“Who’s that?”

“Myself, Mr. Baggins! I’ve had enough of dwarves for one day.” I contemplate following him but decide against it. I let out a sigh of relief before I once again start rummaging for some sort of clue as to what happened to the last remnants of this now demolished house.

Will Continue in - Trolls

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