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#i know it’s been like 2 days but i can’t stop thinking about if
cntloup · 3 days
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Toxic!Simon, unhinged reader, threatening to commit suicide, guns, mention of killing, implied cheating
Part 1 | Part 2
ik ive used this song before but whatever
“I’ll do it, Simon! I will fucking do it!” you shout while holding his gun to your head, the one he always kept under his pillow just in case. It was supposed to be there for your protection. But how he regrets it now. 
You're a complete wreck right now as you stand before him, uncontrollable flows of tears along with your makeup cascading down your face, bloodshot eyes looking back at him as you threaten to pull the trigger. 
And he has never been this scared in his life. Not even when streams of bullets come flying in his direction almost every day. 
“Put the gun down... please... we can talk about it. I will stay. I promise.” he pleads desperately, struggling to figure out what to do in this situation. 
“What does she have that I don’t have? Huh? What do they have? I don’t even fucking know how many there are anymore!” you continue yelling and sobbing while waving the gun around, stopping him dead in his tracks as he steps closer to take the gun from you. 
He ducks his head as you point the gun in his direction for a moment, “What? You think I'm gonna kill you? Whatever I do, I'll do it to myself! I can’t go on like this anymore!” you cry out, your loud sobs and hiccups fill the room, fill his senses, overwhelming him as it builds up his aggression and frustration more and more. 
“Put. The. Fuckin'. Gun. Down.” he states firmly as he gets closer, slowly reaching for the gun that you now hold by your side as you go on sobbing. 
“Why don’t you love me, Simon?” you ask while slightly tilting your head, this time in a much softer tone, almost as if you have given up the fight, now only desperate for an answer. 
Your words bring a shocked look to his face, not from the question itself, no, your question is completely valid considering his actions, but because he doesn’t know how to answer. 
He finally reaches out and takes the gun from you, your fingers loosening their grip and your sobs slowly dying down a bit, a defeated look replacing it, “Why do you do this to me? All of it? Why the fuck did you make me fall in love with you?” 
He holds his head down, not daring to meet your gaze and look into your expecting eyes as you still await an answer. 
Is it from shame? Or that he doesn’t want to confront the consequences of his actions? You don’t know which one, but you guess the latter is probably true. 
“You d-don't... can you just hold me please?” you ask in utter desperation as you shut your eyes in shame of admitting defeat.
In no time, you feel a pair of strong arms wrap you in a warm embrace. 
And after all that he’s done to you, you still feel safe in his arms, even somehow... loved? Or something resembling that.
And you remember why you always keep crawling back to him as he tightens his arms around you.
And as much as you don't like to admit to yourself, you'd feel content if he would just pretend to love you.
yes im going through some stuff as you can tell :'(
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mermaidgirl30 · 2 days
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✨Can You Please Be Mine? Part 2: Slip Into Me✨
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Series Masterlist
A/N: I’m so so excited to share this little piece I’ve been writing! I really love this story, the chemistry Joel and reader have, and how flirty and fun this chapter ended up being. I want to hear all your thoughts on this one 🥰 Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, I want to converse with you guys 🩷
Chapter Summary: Joel takes you on a date to the fair
Word Count: 11.2k (I had a lot to say! I couldn’t stop writing their cute little love story unfolding)
Rating: Explicit (18+ Only MDNI)
Pairing: Joel x fem! reader
Chapter Tags: So much flirting, teasing, Joel takes reader on a date to the fair, kissing, chemistry, more flirting, holding hands, heavy making out, grinding on Joel’s lap, switching POV, reader has hair and is tan, allusions to smut, cute nicknames
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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Joel Miller is a complete mess the rest of the day at the fair. He can’t think straight, not with the way the folded piece of paper is scorching his fingertips that sit in the pit of his pocket, calling out to him like a damn temptress that purrs his name to slip the digits into his phone.
He bites the inside of his cheek, furrowing his eyebrows every single time he thinks of those fucking long, tan legs. Those gorgeous eyes that seem to burn holes in the back of his eyes, and those short denim shorts that he wants so badly to rip off your thick thighs that scream his name. He thinks you’d look so fucking perfect completely naked, splayed across the soft sheets of his bed. Long, tan legs, the perfect curves, probably glistening with sticky slick waiting for him to lick clean. Fuck.
   He can’t help the way he scans his eyes over the thick crowd of people that floods the fair, hoping he’ll snag a peek of your sweet smile that he wants so badly to sink his lips against. He thinks you’d taste so good, maybe cherry flavored lip gloss, a soft tongue that he’ll let lap against his own, sucking him dry as you take the soul right out of him. He thinks he wants to take you on a date so he can see that pretty face, that soft, flirtatious enigma he wants to twist his mind around as he wraps you completely around his index finger. He has to have you, he just has to. 
   He should be enjoying the fair with his daughter, should be paying attention to her as she picks at the stack of French fries he just bought her as she rambles on about upcoming volleyball summer camp and her friend’s pool party, but he can’t. He just can’t. His mind is focused solely on you. The prettiest flower in the crowd he ever did see. And you’d be his. At least he hoped. 
   “Dad?”
   The word comes out in a fog, he almost misses it as he mindlessly searches through the bustling crowd. He needs to see your face, that gorgeous, radiant, perfect…
   “Dad, are you even listening to me?” Sarah asks as she chews on the end of a golden French fry and stares up at her distracted father. 
   “Hmm? Oh yeah, kid. I heard ya,” he murmurs as his brown eyes become focused on his daughter as her long curls blow gently through the hot Texas breeze. 
   “You just seem a little distracted is all,” she mumbles as she rolls her eyes and finishes off the French fry in her hand. 
   Joel rakes a hand through his dark scruff and sighs in frustration. “I’m fine, Sarah. Ain’t distracted ‘bout nothin’,” he huffs. But he knows it’s a lie, a damn good lie. Because he is distracted. Distracted by the beautiful girl with the vanilla ice cream cone that teased him till he about came completely undone in line. He was in for the ride of his life. 
   After he gets home that night, he stares hard at the creased piece of paper as he reads your name over and over and over again. He memorizes it, studies the jumble of numbers until he can repeat them with his eyes closed. He grips the paper so tight that he thinks he’ll tear it in half, his mind caving in just like that of a mad man who’s lovesick from a stupid crush.
   He finally comes to his senses and pulls his phone out of his pocket as he types out your name and number into his contacts list. After pressing save, he stares at the screen, his eyes burning into your name as he hovers over the call button. His mind starts racing a million miles an hour as his eyes go cross eyed from looking so hard at your name on the screen. 
   What if you don’t answer? What if you’re not really interested? What if it was all a game as a way to tease him? Surely not. No. Not with the way you were looking at him, your eyes burning into his like sparkling fireworks as you smirked his way, lapping up ice cream as you teased your tongue around the cold edges as he nearly collapsed to the ground. You were a feisty little firecracker, and he knew it. He wanted to taste those sparks, see just how far he could push you. 
   Without waiting another minute, he presses the call button as sweat pools on his forehead, tousled curls sticking to his tanned skin as he paces mindlessly in his room just waiting for you to answer. He’s about to give up after five repeated rings until he hears you pick up the phone on the next ring. 
   “Hello?”
   His eyes go wide as his pupils expand, fingers digging deep into the denim of his jean pockets as his throat runs dry. That voice. That melodious, sweet lilt of your voice. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard in his entire life. 
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   You hear some rustling on the end of the line and then finally a voice comes through the end of the speaker. “Ummm, hi.”
   A deep, baritone voice seeps through the phone. Slow, a slurred Southern drawl, charming, and so sexy. It makes you gulp down nerves as slick automatically pools in your lace. It’s him. The man you couldn’t keep your eyes off at the fair. He called. 
   “Is this… ahh. You’re the one from the fair, aren’t you?” you ask smiling, a stupid grin spreading wide across your face as you bite your lower lip, your free hand gripping the pink sheets tightly as you grasp anything that’ll stop the excitement from taking you on a ride. 
   “Mhm. How’d you guess?” he asks as you hear a deep chuckle come alive on the other end of the phone. 
   God his laugh sounds like complete music to your ears. A bravado sound you could put on repeat like a favorite song you’d never get tired of. You already had it bad. 
   “Oh, I don’t know. A number I didn’t know and no text? Funny. Why didn’t you just text me? Most people just text nowadays,” you laugh as you tease him through the phone. 
   Another deep chuckle and his smooth voice is carrying through the line. “Guess I’m jus’ old fashioned, darlin’. Maybe I jus’ wanted to hear what you sounded like. Kinda like this better than a text.”
   “Oh, I see,” you blush as you curl your fingers through the pink silk, feet pressing against one another as you repeat the word he just called you over the phone. Darlin’. You loved the sound of that. 
   “So, what’s your name, cowboy?” you giggle as you feel heat course through your chest. 
   “Cowboy, huh? That my new nickname or somethin’?” he asks with a laugh as you hear that sweet Southern drawl drag through the phone. Oh, this one already has you on a tight string, and you’re ready to never let go. 
   “Mmm, it fits you well, I think,” you giggle as you twirl a piece of hair around your finger nervously. 
   “Whatever you say, darlin’,” he laughs as you imagine him raking a hand through those gorgeous curls of his. Something you want to do. You bet it’s so soft, lush, velvet-like…
   “Joel,” he says through the phone, bringing you out of your lovesick daydream of running your fingers through his soft hair. 
   “Hmm?” you ask confused, your mind focusing back on that deep baritone voice that you just can’t get enough of. 
   “The name’s Joel. Joel Miller.”
   “Joel Miller…” you repeat, your smile widening on your face as you stare up at the ceiling filled with hanging fairy lights that make the room sparkle. 
   “That’s right, darlin’.”
   “I like it,” you answer as you twist in the sheets, your soft skin rolling over silk as you see yourself through the long mirror that hangs on the wall. Your cheeks bright red, a Cheshire cat grin splayed wide on your face as you nearly pant out with glee. You look like a puppy. A stupid lovesick puppy. 
   “Glad ya do,” he chuckles as he takes a couple more seconds before he says anything else. “So, ummm. I was wonderin’ if maybe you’re not busy tomorrow night, would you maybe wanna go to the fair with me?”
   Your jaw drops open, your mind dizzy with possibilities as you push yourself to the edge of the bed and clench your thighs together. “Like a date?” you ask wide-eyed, your heart pounding impossibly fast in your chest as you hope it is a date. 
   “Mhm. A date. If that’s what you want, that is.” His voice is low, fluctuating as you can picture his hand deep in his pocket, his fingers flexing with nerves as he waits for your answer. He has it as bad as you do, you think. 
   “A date…” you repeat steadily, your words lingering as you smile into the phone. “Okay, cowboy. It’s a date.”
   “Alright,” he chuckles as his laugh echoes through the glowing room. “How does six o’clock sound? I could pick you up. Jus’ text me your address.”
   “Six sounds perfect,” you purr, your eyes lighting up like a damn sparkler as you kick your legs in a frenzy underneath you. 
   “Six it is. Well, guess I’ll see you tomorrow, darlin’.” Darlin’. His words drip down you like sweet honey, a taste you want to devour down. You bet he tastes so sweet. 
   “Mkay. See ya tomorrow, Joel. Bye.”
   “Bye, sweetheart.”
   The call clicks to an end, the line going dead as you fall back into the silky sheets and scream into your hands. You’re going on a date tomorrow with the hottest Southern gentleman alive. You have to find something to wear!
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   You stand in the glow of the bathroom mirror and twirl around in your light green summer dress that grazes just a little above the middle of your thighs. The perfect length to tease Joel just a little and show off your tanned legs. You brush out your soft curls and dab some shiny lip gloss over your pink lips as you take one more good look at yourself. You’re more than ready. You spray a spritz of vanilla perfume on your neck and call it good as you sit the glass bottle back down on the edge of the sink.
   When you turn around, you hear a couple of loud knocks echo across the hall from the front door. Joel. He’s here. You grab your light blue over the shoulder purse and wrap it around yourself as you pad toward the door in your white slip-on Vans. Your heart is galloping in your chest like a thousand race horses colliding their heavy hooves against a racetrack, your cheeks burning from nerves as you make your way to the front solid wooden door. Please like me, please like me, please like me.  
   When you twist the doorknob and open the door, your eyes go wide as you take in the sight that stands in front of you. Joel stands with his large arms crossed over his broad chest, his rolled up dark green flannel clinging to the thick muscles of his arms as he smirks flirtatiously down at you. His tousled curls are slicked back, and he smells like fresh cologne and mahogany. A kind of scent that could pull you in just by the way he smells. Intoxicating. 
   “Hi,” you say nervously as you shut the door closed behind you, your fingers behind your back digging into the soft material of your dress as you fight off nerves that pull at your insides. 
   “Hi,” he repeats softly as his eyes drag down your summer dress and your tanned legs slowly. He gulps as he looks back up into your eyes and smiles, making his eyes crinkle at the sides as your heart flutters in your chest. 
   He’s so handsome. 
   “My, don’t you look pretty,” he says with the warmth of his deep voice which seems to surround you, encase you in nothing but comfort. You could listen to him talk all day long if he sounded like that. Warm, deep baritone voice, slow, syrupy, exactly how you pictured it. Perfection. 
   You feel your cheeks burn bright red as you giggle like a little school girl and flutter your eyelashes up at him. “Thanks,” you say nervously. 
   “You ready to go?” he asks as he pushes off the brick wall. 
   “Mhm.”
   “Well, c’mon then,” he laughs as he leads you to his red Chevy truck. He opens the passenger door for you and helps you up. His calloused hand seems to burn inside yours, a wildfire that simmers all the way down to your core the longer his fingers are on your skin. When he releases, he slams the door shut and makes his way over to the driver’s side. 
   When he hops in and starts the truck up, the engine rumbles to life exactly like your nerves do. You feel like a livewire that’s ready to explode. You’re in his truck, going on a date with him. You still can’t believe this is happening. 
   When the radio springs to life, you hear “Cherry Waves” by Deftones play softly against the hum of the speakers. Your eyes widen as a smile creeps up against your shiny lips. “Deftones, huh?”
   Joel looks over at you as he furrows his eyebrows together. “You know Deftones?” he asks surprised, his grip on the leather steering wheel tightening as he takes you in. 
   “Yeah! Doesn’t everyone?” you laugh as you buckle your seatbelt and look back up at him. He’s still looking at you in awe as if he’s just now seeing you for the first time. The sight makes your stomach flip circles as he continues to look at you, the orbs of his honey eyes seeming to glow as you stare into those pits of pure warmth. 
   “Not exactly,” he chuckles as he pulls out of the quiet apartment complex and into the busy streets of Austin. “You like rock music?” 
   “What do you think?” you giggle as you turn the volume up one notch and lean your head back against the soft brown seat. 
   Joel turns his head toward you and cocks up a thick eyebrow as he smirks over at you. “Okay, smart alec. What’s your favorite song by them then?” 
   “Hmm, let me think,” you hum as you pick apart your brain, “probably Change.”
   “Mmm. Guess you are a fan,” he smiles as he drives down the busy street full of speeding cars and hovering beam lights. 
   “And yours?” you ask with the hint of a smirk on your face. 
   “Rosemary.”
   “Ahh. A classic. One of my favorites.”
   “Yeah?” 
   “Mhm,” you hum as you look out the glass window. You can see his reflection vaguely as he looks wondrously at you, and it makes butterflies flit through your stomach. 
   After a minute of silence, with only the hum of the radio playing, Joel clears his throat as you turn back to him. “So, slippin’ me your number in line, huh? Ain’t you a bold girl.”
   You raise your eyebrow at him and lean a little closer as you inhale his mahogany scent as it makes your head a little dizzy. “I mean, I was just trying to get your attention.”
   He chuckles as he shakes his head. “Sweetheart, you had my attention the moment I saw you up on that carousel. You didn’t even have to try.”
   You feel your cheeks flush pink as you twist your fingers in your lap, your skirt barely covering your thighs as you find Joel’s eyes flit down to them. You pull nervously at your cotton dress and look back up at him shyly. “Maybe I just wanted to see you again.” 
   “Well, darlin’, I’m glad you slipped me your number or I wouldn’t have got to take out the prettiest girl in Austin.”
   You bite your lip and slide back into the seat, your nerves buzzing through your body as you try to relax and enjoy the ride. “Prettiest girl in Austin?”
   “That’s right, darlin’. Prettiest girl.”
   You turn your head to look at the sun slowly slipping under fluffy clouds as sunset draws close. You let the music flow through your eardrums as you bask in the large presence of the man that was made of dreams. Joel Miller. 
   In just a few short minutes, Joel’s parking the truck in the parking lot and walking you up to the shiny entry gates to the fair. He pulls his leather wallet out and purchases two tickets and then leads you through the metal gates. When you get inside, the glow of spinning rides and lit up food stands cover the entirety of the fair, the thick crowd sprawled every which way as you walk through the bustling crowd of people. 
   “You must like the fair,” you say as you pass a little girl with a clump of blue cotton candy in her hands. 
   “Why do you say that?” Joel asks as he walks side by side with you. 
   “Well, you were just here yesterday,” you laugh as you look up at him. He looks nervous as he rakes a hand through his salt-and-pepper scruff and nonchalantly shakes his slicked back curls. “So, why’d you come back?”
   “Because,” he starts as he turns his body to you, “I wanted to take ya out. And I figured dinner would be nice and all, but thought maybe this would be more fun. A better way to get to know you. Maybe make you feel more comfortable,” he shrugs as he laughs nervously next to you. 
   “Oh.” He’s so… thoughtful. He really took the time to think that through to do what he thought would make you more comfortable. He was so… good. 
   “Hope that’s alright. You didn’t have to come back if you didn’t want to…”
   “No.” You cut him off and put your hand around his wrist as you turn to stand in front of him. “I wanted to come with you. This is perfect.”
   “You sure? You’re not just pullin’ my leg?” he asks with  knit together eyebrows, his jaw tense as you see his eyes burn like fire into yours.
   You step closer to him and nod your head up and down, flexing your fingers around his soft flannel shirt as you respond just loud enough for only him to hear over the buzz of the crowd. “Joel, I wouldn’t be here if I was just pulling your leg. Why’d you think I slipped you my number, hmm? I thought you were the hottest man I’ve ever seen in my life. Didn’t want to miss the opportunity to pass me by to not get a chance to make a move on you,” you gush as you watch him relax against your touch. 
   “Darlin’, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop sweet talkin’ me or you’re gonna have me turnin’ this whole damn fair red,” he chuckles low as he slips his fingers behind your back, just above your hip as you feel warm heat slide down your spine. 
   “You mean I can make a big, strong, handsome man blush?” you giggle as he shakes his head again. 
   “You’re a little firecracker, ain’t ya?”
   “Guess so. Wanna see how many colors I can paint your face?” you laugh flirtatiously as he rolls his eyes.
   “C’mon, trouble. Such a little flirt.” He smirks and pulls you along the row of lit up games and lets his hand linger over your dress as you feel the tinge of red fill your cheeks.
   “So, umm. How old are ya, sweetheart?” he asks nervously as you walk past a group of teenagers gathering around a basketball game. 
   “Twenty-six,” you say cautiously as you look up under your long eyelashes, blinking away any doubts you have that he’ll think you’re too young. 
   “Twenty-six, yeah? Wow,” he laughs as he scratches the back of his head, making his bicep cling tight to the green flannel shirt, “I can remember when I was that young. Was a long time ago.”
   You scrunch your nose up at him and look curiously at him. “You’re making yourself sound like you’re ancient or something,” you laugh as you pass a little boy playing a ring toss game. 
   “I am ancient,” he responds as he looks the other way, shying away from you. 
   You pull on his flannel until his face is turned back toward you, making sure his brown eyes snap back down to you. “How old are you?” you ask with a raised brow.
   “Too old to be with a pretty young thing like you,” he scoffs as he tries to look away again. 
   You pull a little on the fabric of his collar until he has no choice but to look straight at you. “How old?” You don’t give him a chance to shy away again, he’s locked in, he has to answer you. 
   “Forty-seven,” he mumbles as you see a flash of panic through those big doe eyes of his. You smile up at him, and he just looks at you with his mouth parted open, like he can’t believe you’re smiling at him. “What? Why are you smilin’?”
   “Because,” you laugh as you drop your hand from his soft collar, “you’re not old, Joel. You’re just right.” 
   His features soften up, and you swear you see him sigh as relief seems to wash over him. He thought he was too old for you? “Jus’ right, huh?” he smirks as the corners of his mouth tilt up to be the most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s so pretty. Especially in the colorful swirling lights of the fair.
   “Just right,” you confirm as you walk by a booth of various shapes of balloons.
   “Hey, mister! Why don’t you come play a round of darts and win your girl a prize?” The game worker shouts across the way as Joel turns his head and furrows his eyebrows as he looks back and forth between you and the game stand awkwardly. 
   When he takes another glance at you, he gives you a soft smile as the glow of his eyes turn lighter. “Wanna play a round?” he asks as he nods his head to the game stand.
   You turn your head and take in the row of balloons that paint the wall purple, red, yellow, green, and pink. All shapes and sizes of stuffed animals sit against the back wall, and you smirk up his way. “Think you can take out more balloons than me?” you ask playfully as you flick your hair behind your shoulder. 
   “Only one way to find out, darlin’.” He narrows his eyes mischievously and grabs your wrist as he pulls you to the edge of the stand.
   Joel hands five dollars to the worker, and he gives him ten black pointed darts. He hands you five of them and holds his arm toward the board filled with balloons. “Ladies first.”
   You smile and walk up to the line of white tape and carefully assess your movements. You decide to go for the middle row first. That should be safest. You line up your first dart and shoot. The pointy end barely grazes the edge of a yellow balloon and falls with a bang to the ground. 
   “Shit,” you mutter under your breath. You try again, but you miss again. Why can’t you just get one fucking balloon?
   You huff out and purse your lips together as you feel your thighs rub together in the heat of the warm summer’s night. You see Joel out of the corner of your eye, maybe a hint of empathy on his face as he takes in your pouting lips. You feel the weight of his eyes on you, and you try your best not to look too upset as you twirl the smooth dart in your hand.
   “Well, keep going!” The worker practically screams at you as you almost jump out of your skin. As you look down at the dart and weigh your options, something happens that you didn’t expect to. Joel slides up behind you and puts one hand on your waist as he angles you perpendicular to the board of balloons while his hand wraps around yours with the dart between your fingers. 
   You gasp as he guides your arm. “Let me help ya, sweetheart,” he smiles as his lips graze the shell of your ear, making a bead of sweat stick to the side of your forehead as nerves course through your veins.
   “You wanna keep your eyes right on the center of the balloon. Imagine it has a big target in the middle that you want to reach. You wanna close one eye, aim right for the center, and throw hard.” The words whisk through you at an impossibly fast rate as his hot breath breathes down your neck. You think you might pass out at how hot your skin feels with him this close, with him touching you. It’s like he’s branding you as his own. 
   “Like this?” you whisper out hoarsely as you bring your arm up as his hand never leaves yours.
   “Yeah, there ya go. Right for the middle of the yellow one. Go on now,” he encourages as he takes you through the motions, his gravelly voice breathing down the side of your neck as his broad body hovers over yours.
   You hold your breath and throw the dart, keeping one eye closed as you focus solely on the blown up balloon and not on the gorgeous man that’s clinging to your skin. The dart soars through the air and lands right in the center of the yellow balloon as you hear a loud pop and see scattered shreds fall to the ground.
   “Yes! I got it,” you say excitedly as Joel chuckles lightly and nods his head. 
   “Attagirl.”
   The word makes you gulp as you feel your skin flush from the praise. He was basically calling you a good girl, and that was the hottest thing a man has ever said to you. Attagirl. Something so sexy about the way he said it to you in a deep, Southern drawl. Attagirl. 
   He steps back and lets you take your turn for your last two darts. You go over every step he told you to do and follow what he instructed you to do. You did exactly that and popped two more balloons as they fell broken to the floor.
   “Nice shot,” he winks as he takes your place and steps up to the white line. 
   “Alright, cowboy. Let’s see what you got,” you say playfully as you see his lips curl up into a huge grin. 
   It’s almost too easy for him. He takes down two at a time with only one dart, his aim impeccable as he takes down balloon after balloon. When his five darts are gone, he dusts off his hands on his dark jeans and smiles your way. “So, how’d I do?”
   “You’re too good, Joel. A master of balloons,” you tease as you playfully push at his solid chest. 
   “Master of balloons, not master of puppets?” he smirks as you roll your eyes at him.
   “Metallica fan I see,” you say with a raised brow as you cross your arms over your chest. 
   “Good guess.” 
   Before you walk away, the game worker tells Joel he can pick out any stuffed animal he wants. Joel looks over at you with a wandering gaze as he reaches out his hand and pulls you over to the edge of the stand. 
   “What do ya want?” Joel asks as your eyes scan the wall. There’s a variety of stuffed animals. Monkeys, teddy bears, all the way to jellyfish. Your eyes wander the wall until they land on a light blue dolphin. That’s the one.
   “That one.” You point to the dolphin, and the worker gets it down for you. 
   “Here you go,” the worker nods as you take the plush dolphin and smile down at it, “I’m sure your girl is happy now.”
   Joel looks down at the stuffed dolphin in your hand and smiles as his warm brown eyes meet yours. “Yeah, think she is.” You blush and walk down the row of busy games as Joel walks next to you with his hand hovering over the small of your back.
   “Thanks for that back there,” you murmur as you set your pace a little slower.
   “For what?” he asks as his hand presses deeper into the fabric of your dress. 
   “For showing me how to throw the darts probably and winning me this dolphin,” you say as you hold the plushie stuffed animal up and poke him playfully in the bicep with it. 
   “Anytime, darlin’. Anytime,” he chuckles as he walks along the flurries of crowds.
   You walk along the outside of the crowd as you pass an area full of a variety of food trucks. “So. Was that your daughter yesterday with you in line?” 
   “Oh, yeah. That was Sarah. My little girl. Well, not so little anymore. She’ll be eighteen next year, and she’s about to start her senior year of high school, but she’ll always be my little girl.”
   You watch the gleam in his chocolate eyes as you take in his expression. A little sadness but also so very proud. He looks like he loves her a lot, and that makes your heart beat for him even more. “Is that your only one?”
   “My only kid?” he asks as he turns his head toward you, “yeah, she’s my only one.”
   You ask the next question carefully, walking on thin ice. You didn’t see a ring, so you assume he isn’t taken. “And there’s no Mrs. Miller in the picture?”
   He scratches the bottom of his scruff as he stretches his neck, assessing the question before he answers. “No. It’s jus’ me, darlin’. No one else in the picture.”
   Your eyebrows knit together as you turn to face him, your head cocking to the side as you look him up and down carefully. “You mean to tell me that a man like you is single?”
   He just shrugs his shoulders and blatantly answers. “What’s so hard to understand ‘bout that?”
   You put one hand on each hip and roll your eyes sarcastically. “I mean, hello? You’re ridiculously hot and nice and I don’t know, sweet?”
   Joel chuckles and raises one eyebrow up. “Got me blushin’ again, darlin’,” he responds as he rakes a hand slowly down his jawline while his cheeks turn a deep red.
   You laugh and admire how absolutely beautiful the man looks when he’s full of embarrassment. He’s so freaking cute that you could just squish him. Soft, the man is so soft. You might just fall head over heels for him.
   “And that’s you, sweetheart. Sweet, flirty, adorable, absolutely drop dead gorgeous,” he gushes as he looks at you with glittering honey eyes. Now it’s you that’s the one blushing. “Can’t believe you’re at the fair with me. Of all the men you could be with, you went with me. What ever made you do that?” he asks unbelievably as he shakes his head. 
   “Because I saw more than a handsome face in that crowd when I saw you standing in line. I saw a man I wanted to get to know, wondered if you felt the same way. You looked like magic, and I wanted to taste it,” you smirk as his cheeks turn bright red again. 
   “Christ,” he chuckles as he grabs your arm and pulls you through the blinding crowd, “c’mon you sweet talker. Magic, huh? You’re the one that looks like magic.” You just giggle silently as you let him take you on the ride of your life. 
   The sun slowly dips beneath the clouds as the last clashes of mixed shades of purple and orange colors turn to darkness. The fair lights up every which way as glowing lights from the amusement rides and food trucks light the way on the warm pavement. You pass a stand with blowing bubbles and light up toys and look over to see Joel eyeing you, a curious glint in his chocolate eyes as he assesses you closely. 
   Before you wait to see what he’s about to ask you, you chime in first. “So, cowboy, what do you do for work?” 
   You hear him chuckle and mutter something about cowboy under his breath as he runs calloused fingers smoothly through his slicked back curls. “I’m a contractor. Me and my brother, Tommy, run a business together.”
   You lift an eyebrow and smirk his way. “A contractor, huh?”
   Joel just chuckles and nods his head. “S’right, sweetheart. We keep pretty busy, that’s for sure.”
   You eye his green flannel, dark denim jeans, and leather boots and nod. Of course he was a contractor. He definitely looked the part. “So you’re strong and handsome? And you know how to build things? My, my, Mr. Miller. You’re quite the package, aren’t you?” You tease as you push him playfully in the arm and flash him a ridiculously huge grin that you can barely keep to yourself. 
   “A package, huh? Can’t say that anyone’s ever called me quite a package before,” he responds as his hand grazes yours carefully. You taste the flames as they lick against your skin, you want to dance in them as they burn you alive. 
   “Well, I called you one so there’s that if that means anything.” You shrug your shoulders absentmindedly and look back ahead as you hear Joel laugh under his breath. 
   “Mmm definitely means somethin’, darlin’.” You look back to see he’s giving you this crooked smile, and his chocolate eyes are scorching into yours as you see just how soft he is. He’s like a little puppy dog with those big eyes of his, and you just want to take him home and make him yours forever. 
   You almost reach out to lace your arm in his until he asks you a question. “What about you, sweetheart? What do you do?”
   You smile warmly up at him and answer. “I’m actually studying to get my master’s in art at the University of Texas. And I work at this little art shop off Hollow’s Drive. It’s called Autumn’s Art Gallery.”
   You watch the way he shifts his honey eyes over to you as he gives you a once over. “An artist, you say? Impressive. You draw or paint?”
   “Both, actually. I find myself with a charcoal pencil in my hand more than a paint brush. But I love them both equally,” you shrug as your shoes scuff against the cement. 
   “You draw people?” he asks thoughtfully as you meet his simmering gaze. 
   “All the time. Why?”
   He laughs as you see the crow’s feet pull at the corners of his eyes. “You gonna draw me like one of your French girls?” 
   “Joel Miller throwing Titanic quotes at me?” you laugh as you shake your head at him in disbelief. 
   “Couldn’t resist that joke, darlin’. Was the perfect opportunity,” he chuckles as you roll your eyes at him. 
   “Sure, just let me go conjure up a butterfly robe and an old parlor couch while I find you a red wig.”
   You watch him crinkle his eyes up as he holds his stomach and chuckles loudly as he throws his head back. You join in on his laughter and almost burst into tears from how hard the two of you are laughing. When he finally catches a breath after a few moments, he wipes his eyes and places a firm hand on your shoulder. “Sweetheart, I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. You’ve got a gift,” he smiles as you see nothing but warm brown eyes swarm your vision. 
   “Glad I could make you laugh,” you giggle.
   “So, art. What got ya interested in art?” he asks with a cocked up brow as he presses his palm into the middle of your shoulder blades. His hand burns like fire, but you love it. 
   “Well, I’ve always had a love for painting. I told my mom when I was in kindergarten that I was going to grow up to be an artist and look at me now! I made it,” you beam as the glow of the Ferris wheel lights your way forward. 
   “I’d love to see your work sometime,” Joel responds as his fingers slide down to right above your hips, right at that dangerous level of being too close but not close enough. 
   “Really?” you ask surprised as you see him nod his head. 
   “Really.”
   You bite your lower lip and cross your arms as you turn to look at him, your eyes sliding along his beautiful face. “Would you… do you think you’d let me draw you sometime?” you ask shyly as you play with the skirt of your green dress, your cheeks flushing pink as you flutter your eyelashes at him. 
   He laughs out loud as his eyes widen. “Sweetheart, what would you wanna draw me for? Ain’t nothin’ worth drawin’,” he says amused as he adjusts the sleeve of his flannel shirt. 
   You shrug your shoulders and sway your hips as you respond. “I dunno. I think you’ve got such a handsome face. It’d be worth it to me.”
   His lips part open as his eyes stare intimately down into yours as he takes in what you just told him. He looks conflicted, surprised even that you’d say that. But his eyes soften and a crooked smile splays across his mouth, and you think he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen in your entire life. 
   “Darlin’, if you’re gonna sweet talk me like that then ‘course you can draw me. Jus’ don’t let me look bad.”
   “I could never make you look bad, Joel.” He smiles and cups his hand underneath your chin and grazes it affectionately before he takes your hand and pulls you along the street. 
   He slowly slips his hand into yours as he entwines his fingers around yours, the callouses grazing along your skin as you feel warmth cover your insides as he takes a hold of you. It feels so right, makes you a little dizzy if you’re being honest. How can you like a man so much that you only just met? You don’t know what it is, but he feels like complete magic. The perfect man that’ll indulge all your fantasies. 
   He pulls you along the busy crowd, hand in hand as he looks back every few seconds and flashes you with the most dreamy smile you’ve ever seen, ending with a flirty wink that almost makes you choke on your own saliva. He grasps your fingers tighter as he slides his calloused thumb gently over the top of your hand. Right before he passes the Ferris wheel that’s spinning slowly in the mix of all the different fair rides, Joel stops just a few feet from the entrance and looks back at you, one eyebrow cocking up as he takes in your curious expression. 
   “What?” you ask with a small laugh as you take in his coffee colored eyes that narrow just a tad, the look of a man with an agenda up his sleeve. 
   “Wanna go for a ride?” he asks as he nods his head toward the lit up Ferris wheel, his eyes never leaving yours. 
   You flick your eyes carefully over the spinning ride and then look back at him as you turn your hips closer to him. “A ride?” you ask flirtatiously as you smirk up at him, “Joel Miller wants to take me for a ride?”
   His eyes slightly darken, his nail beds scratching along your skin as he leans in closer so you can hear that deep Southern drawl that clings to your insides. “Promise to take it slow,” he whispers menacingly. You gulp at his double meaning, his wicked smirk clawing at your insides as you feel the sweat bead down your skin. 
   Promise to take it slow. The words are harmless yet heated. He means the ride will be slow, but there’s also that other meaning. The one where it involves his lap, his cock, his slow motions as you gently slide up and down on his slick covered cock. That’s what those words really mean to you, and fuck do you want that. Badly.
   “Okay,” you breathe out slowly as he smiles and leads you to the small ticket booth ahead. He pulls out his leather wallet and hands the attendant three dollars in exchange for two small pink tickets. Joel leads you to the front of the line and hands the tickets off as he lets you climb into one of the carts first. You sit down on the white plastic seat and get situated, fanning your green skirt across your thighs as Joel takes his place across from you. 
   After a few seconds, the ride starts up and you slowly ascend into the summer night’s air. The fair looks so different up in the sky, glowing lights encased in a blur as you see different shades of pinks, blues, reds, and yellows paint the fair. Soft bubbles float in the background, and bright stars twinkle in the night sky. It’s all so very whimsical. 
   “Wow. It’s really beautiful up here,” you say in awe as you take in all the colorful scenery of the fair. 
   “Yeah, it sure is,” Joel says quietly across from you. When you turn to look at him, he’s not looking at the loud crowds or the different colored bumper cars across the way. No. He’s looking at you. 
   Oh. 
   Your knees brush against his jeans, and his hand grazes gently against your inner thigh, his rough fingertips resting just behind your kneecap as his thumb brushes back and forth gently. Slow, meticulous, heated. His eyes bore into yours, chocolate irises that simmer warmly into yours. He just sits there staring, lips halfway parted as he’s mesmerized in place, his eyes only on you. 
   Another brush of his fingertips and suddenly the air is too hot, too much as you fight every bone in your body to jump right off your seat and straddle his lap. His lips look so inviting, plush, big. Lips that were made just for you to kiss. His eyes trail down to your lips, dark eyes smoldering as he gulps and takes another breath. 
   The tension is heavy, weighing down on your insides that scream for you to move. Kiss him, kiss him, kiss him. You bet he’s a great kisser, bet he has an experienced tongue, bet he can swallow you down and devour you whole when he licks into your mouth. Warm, inviting, blissful. 
   Suddenly your body is leaning forward, slowly reaching out as your right hand comes down on his denim clad knee. He does the same, cautiously bending forward, eyes locked with yours as he reaches, reaches, reaches until his calloused fingers are brushing against your jawline, eyes swallowing you whole as he leans forward more, almost to your lips, almost…
   The Ferris wheel abruptly starts again and jolts both of you back in your seats, interrupting the almost kiss that could’ve happened. You internally grunt inside. Why the fuck did that have to happen? You just sigh as Joel reaches behind his head to scratch his neck, eyebrows furrowed as he blows out a breath and then looks back up at you with an amused expression on his face. Then the two of you burst out laughing, a harmonious melody that reaches through the dim night sky and catches on the bright lights of the fair. You keep laughing until both of you are gasping for breath, a silly moment that turned into a mutual joke. 
   “So much for a slow ride,” Joel chuckles as he runs a hand through his thick locks of curls, sighing again as you see the crow’s feet wrinkling at the edges of his golden eyes. And my oh my does he look pretty. 
   “So much for that,” you laugh and stare off into the blurring crowd on the ground. 
   After a couple more spins on the Ferris wheel, the ride comes to a halt at the bottom and Joel takes your hand and helps you out of the little cart. “You hungry?” he asks as he keeps your hand locked tightly in his. 
   “Mmm what’d you have in mind? Something sweet, maybe?” you smile with one eyebrow raised in question. 
   Joel shakes his head and laughs, warm and deep. “Figured you’d have a sweet tooth.”
   “Oh? Why’s that?”
   “‘Cause you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” he smiles, eyes lit up like Christmas lights as you stare back at him in awe. He called you sweet. He thinks you’re sweet. You don’t say anything, you just smile and follow him down the row of lit up food trucks that are swarmed with lines. You think you’d follow him anywhere. As long as he’d keep you locked in his arms.
   He pulls you into a short line of one of the funnel cake stands as you look at the decorative funnel cakes on display. That’s not all there is. There’s also blue and pink bags of cotton candy, Caramel apples, cinnamon rolls, and pink lemonade. 
   “You want a funnel cake?” Joel asks as your eyes scan the powdered sugar treats. 
   “Mhm,” you nod as his hand squeezes gently around yours. 
   “You want one of those fancy ones or just a plain one?”
   “Just a plain one is good with me.”
   “Anythin’ else?” he asks as he looks over his shoulder and down at you. Your eyes keep going back to the pink colored cotton candy, your mouth watering as you can almost taste the fluffy goodness melt in your mouth. He seems to notice as he speaks again. “I see you keep lookin’ at that cotton candy. Wanna get some?”
   “Please,” you respond eagerly as you almost bounce at the mention of cotton candy. Joel chuckles to himself when he sees your eyes light up. He thinks you’re just the sweetest thing he’s ever laid eyes on. 
   When it’s your turn at the window, Joel orders the funnel cake and cotton candy and hands the worker some cash as she takes it from him. “Give us a few minutes with the funnel cake. We’ll have it out in about five minutes,” the worker says as she hands Joel a large bag of fluffy cotton candy. 
   “Here ya go, darlin’,” he drawls as he hands you the clear bag of cotton candy and grazes his fingers lightly over yours. 
   “Thanks, Joel.” You open the twisted bag carefully and tear off a piece of pink cotton candy with your thumb and index finger. When you pop a fluffy piece into your mouth, you swallow the cherry flavor and groan from the delicious cotton candy as you lick your glossy lips clean. “So good,” you sigh as you take another bite and lick your thumb clean of the sticky mess. 
   “Yeah? Let me have a bite then.” He reaches for the open bag of cotton candy, but you snatch it from him before he can grab a piece and hold it high in the air. 
   “Only if you can catch me,” you tease as you smirk over at him, snickering under your breath as his eyebrows knit together. 
   “Now, sweetheart. Jus’ what do ya think you’re doin’, hmm?” he asks as he extends his fingers and stares your way. 
   “Having some fun,” you giggle as he reaches once more for the bag, but you take another step back. 
   “You’re walking on mighty thin ice, darlin’,” he murmurs as his eyes darken slightly, almost like he wants to chase you. 
   “Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it then? You gonna just stand there or are you gonna come get me?” you taunt as you rustle the bag and toss it back and forth in your hands. 
   “Oh, I’m gonna come get you, don’t you worry your pretty little head,” he smirks as he takes one step forward. 
   You lick your bottom lip and place one hand on your hip as you taunt him. “Come get me then, cowboy.”
   He twitches his jaw and narrows his eyes playfully as a smug smirk covers his plush lips. Before you know it, he’s lunging at you as you squeak and try to run from him. You don’t make it far until you feel his thick arms wrap around your waist, and then he’s picking you up as you squeal while he spins you around. 
   “C’mere you little tease,” he chuckles as he places you back on the ground and leans forward, biting off a piece of cotton candy as almond eyes stare straight into yours. “Delicious,” he smiles as he grabs another handful and pops it into his mouth, smirking down at you as you stare wide-eyed at him. 
   “What am I gonna do with you?” he chuckles as he shakes his head slowly at you. 
   “I dunno,” you smile bashfully and sway your hips as your green summer dress blows in the gentle breeze of the night. “Guess you could keep me,” you say shyly, fluttering your eyelashes at him as you look carefully at his calm features. 
   “Keep you, huh?” he asks with a crooked smile splayed on his face. 
   “Mhm,” you hum shyly. 
   “Maybe I will, darlin’. Maybe I will.” He reaches out and cups your chin as he tilts it up so he can have a better look into your shimmering eyes. Just when you think he might kiss you, they call your order from the side window of the food truck. Joel grabs the paper plate of the powdered dessert and grabs up two forks and napkins as he leads you over to an empty picnic style table. You take a seat on the old, rickety seat, and Joel slides in next to you, the side of his thigh pressed firmly against your bare leg. And it burns, hot. 
   As the two of you pick at the savory funnel cake, you and Joel bond over interests and likes. You learn his favorite color is blue, the same as yours, he plays guitar, he likes fishing, camping, building and making things, but mostly he loves spending precious time with his daughter, Sarah. And you love that, love that he’s a good father. He’s not just a good father, he’s the perfect father. The way he talks about her is, well, wonderful. You could sit and listen to him talk all night long if you could. And you also wonder who the hell would be so stupid as to leave him? He’s literally perfect. Sweet, funny, handsome, a menace. But that just leaves more for you. 
   “How’s the funnel cake, darlin’? Sweet enough?” Joel laughs as he takes another bite out of the fried goodness. 
   “Definitely sweet enough, it’s just right.” You swallow another mouthful of powdered sugar and just when you’re about to reach for another forkful, Joel nods to the side of your face. 
   “You got a little somethin’ on your face, sweetheart.”
   Grabbing up a clean napkin, you dab at your face embarrassed and find there’s nothing there. “Where? I don’t feel anything.”
   “Oh, you missed. Right here.” He swipes his finger in a pile of powdered sugar and wipes it clear across the side of your face as you feel powdered sugar stick to your shiny skin.
   Your eyes grow wide as you push him playfully against his strong chest. “Joel!”
   He erupts into a fit of laughter as he throws back his head and holds a firm hand across his chest. ���Sorry, darlin’. Couldn’t resist,” he chuckles as he plants his thick fingers against the denim of his broad thighs. 
   You lean forward, challenging him and smirk. “Okay then. If you think it’s so funny then why don’t you clean up the mess you made. Hmm?” 
   He eyes you carefully, his thick eyebrows knitting together as he studies you, flicking his eyes between your mouth and your playfully narrowed eyes. He runs a hand nervously down the side of his jaw, right through the greying scruff as he waits and waits and waits. Then he’s moving, leaning forward, brushing his calloused fingers against the edge of your thigh until his tongue is flat against the corner of your mouth. 
   His tongue is warm, long, wet as he laps up the powdered sugar. You feel a jolt of electricity shoot through you, a meer tinge of bravery slipping through your nerves. After he’s done lapping up the mess he made, just as he’s starting to pull back, you feel that spark of bravery shoot through you again at the speed of lightning, so you move, fast. Before he can turn his face away, you lean forward and plant your lips firmly over his, giving him a quick kiss on the lips as warmth runs like honey down your insides. 
   You break the kiss fast, your cheeks burning red as you feel sort of dizzy from the quick actions. Just when you almost apologize for diving in, Joel cups your chin and brings you back in. His lips are on you in a second. Hot, burning, electric, he seems to be everywhere. Crowding your space, slipping through your lips, burning you from the inside out. The kiss deepens as he cradles the side of your face, fingers brushing through thick locks of your wind blown hair. You seem to get lost in time as you wrap your hands around his neck and pull him closer to your body, until he’s flush against your chest.  
   You part your lips and allow his tongue to enter your vicinity, feeling it collide with your own as it dances around yours in a slow, steady rhythm. He tastes like powdered sugar, coffee, warm summer nights as his tongue glides against yours. It’s like all the busy movements and loud noises in the fair stop, it’s only you and Joel, just two people getting lost in a first kiss. It’s almost like you’re in a movie, camera slowly spinning around the two of you as you get tangled up together in a slow, romantic kiss. And it’s like fireworks go off in the sky, colorful swirls painting the way each time your lips move in sync. It’s unlike any other kiss you’ve ever had before. It’s slow, easy, just right, perfect. And you know then you’re a goner. You’ve fallen for the man with dreamy brown eyes and a Southern drawl you could hear for hours on end. You truly had it bad for the sweet cowboy that swept you off your feet. 
   After a couple of minutes go by, Joel pushes himself back, but keeps one hand lingering on your jaw, his thumb trailing gently against your flushed cheek. “I knew it,” he smiles, a warm, honey-like tone slipping off his tongue as he looks at you with warm, brown eyes. 
   “Knew what?” you whisper out, still catching your breath from that amazing first kiss. 
   “I knew you were sweeter than pie,” he smiles as you catch a gleam in those pretty honey colored eyes. 
   “Sweeter than pie?” 
   “Darlin’, you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”
   Your lips part open, a stupid grin spreading across your glossy mouth as you stare incredulously at the sweetest man that took your breath away. 
   You spend the next couple hours locked hand in hand, exploring every square inch of the fair, sharing cherry lemonade with each other, bonding over movies and shared interests, just spending the night getting to know one another. It was the best date of your life, the best night. You never would have imagined it to be quite like this, but here you were, completely entranced with some handsome man you fell for on the carousel. 
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   The drive back home is quiet as the breeze from the open window blows softly through your hair. You can feel Joel’s eyes on you, the way he keeps smiling and staring every few seconds just watching you enjoy the long summer’s night. The radio hums low in your ear, but all you can hear is your own breath, the shift of Joel in the driver’s seat, the soft tapping noise of his thumb on the leather steering wheel, and the low rumble of the truck’s engine. You love summer nights, love getting lost in the night, but most of all you love being in this truck, in this seat, next to Joel. 
   You feel Joel’s calloused fingers slowly graze against the outside of your thigh, so you shift in your seat and look over at him all dreamily, getting lost in those honey flecked eyes you find so mesmerizing. He’s got you twisted around the black military watch that sits clasped against his wrist, and there’s no way in hell he’s letting you go. 
   After a few more minutes of driving on the dark, dimly lit road back to your apartment, he’s pulling up to your front door. The one with overflowing white lilies in pots and the crystal wind chime you can’t seem to let go of. He puts the truck in park and looks over at you, an expression of gentleness as he relaxes his brows and pulls some out of place locks behind your ear. 
   “I had a great time with you tonight, darlin’.” You watch the crooked smile appear on the side of his mouth, his eyes seeming to twinkle like the bright stars in the night sky. 
   “I did, too, Joel. Thank you, for the perfect date.”
   “Anytime, darlin’. Anytime.”
   You sit there a moment, hovering in the silence as you chew on your bottom lip and taste the hint of cherry lip gloss. You twist your fingers in your lap, thighs pressing together as you look up at him through your long eyelashes. He’s just sitting there, his jaw clenched as he stares at you perplexed with the engine humming faintly in the background. 
   Just as you think of slowly making your way out the passenger door, Joel clears his throat and dwindles his hand on the steering wheel. “Would you… would you maybe wanna go on another date with me next Friday? Sarah’s gonna be outta town for volleyball camp, and I have the weekend free. Maybe you’d wanna come over for dinner or watch a movie or…”
   You interrupt his offer as you quickly nod your head yes. “I’d really like that.”
   “Is that a yes then?” he asks, brown eyes full of hope as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel, awaiting your final answer. 
   “That’s definitely a yes, cowboy,” you smile as he smirks back at you in response. 
   “Friday it is then,” he confirms as his eyes never wander from yours. 
   “Friday it is.” You let your hand meander on the side of the door handle and tug gently as you start to slide over in the seat. “Well, goodnight. Thank you again for the perfect evening.”
   Just as you about make it out of the door, Joel shoots his hand out and grabs your wrist tightly, his voice straining with an ounce of restraint as he holds you there, locked in his embrace. “Wait.” 
   You slowly turn, eyes locking with his as they seem to widen, his plush lips parted open as he stares transfixed, his chest rising and falling in deep breaths as he tries to hold back. He really needs to, doesn’t need to rush anything, but any self restraint comes crashing down when your eyes trail down to his warm lips. 
   “C’mere.” A gasp falls out of your mouth as he pulls you into his lap, your thighs straddling his as he pulls you flush to his broad chest. “Wanna kiss you one more time, sweetheart.”
   With no hesitation, he tugs your head down to his and crashes his lips against yours. The kiss is heated, desperate, burning as you melt your lips against his and get lost in the radiant glow of the moment. You part your lips, and he slots his tongue inside your mouth, desperately licking at the cotton candy flavor as he collides with your tongue. He twists around, pulling you closer to his body as you feel the hard erection that bulges at his zipper line. 
   You deepen the kiss, tasting the powdered sugar and cherry lemonade against your lips, letting your body grind down on him as you hear him moan through your glossy lips. You feel his hands slowly slide your dress up, feel his meaty palms dig into your thighs as you feel slick start to coat your lace.
   You rake your fingers through his messy curls, start to grind against the thickness of his cock through his tight denim jeans as you picture how ruined he must be underneath that zipper. You moan into his mouth the second one of his hands slides up higher, teasing the inside of your thigh as you desperately want to ride him right here, right now. You want to taste him, want to feel him slide in and out of your dripping core, want him to make you come until you see nothing but him in your vision. 
   His swollen lips drop to the side of your neck, teeth grazing against your skin as he starts to suck slowly, finding just the right spot that makes you moan and pant against the shell of his ear as your face rubs against his coarse salt-and-pepper scruff. Your fingers cling to his dark green flannel, curling around the edges as you lick the side of his ear, just as he makes you moan again from his teasing tongue low on your collarbone. 
   Your other hand grips the back of his sweaty hair, holding on for dear life as you feel you can orgasm right here at any moment. He hasn’t even touched you where you need him most, and he already has you unraveling from the seams. Just when he’s about to slide his hand under your soaked panties, his phone rings loudly, blaring as you almost jump out from beneath your sticky skin.
   You hear Joel swear under his breath as he digs his phone out from deep within the pocket of his jeans. When he retrieves it, he looks at the lit up screen and sighs. “It’s Sarah, I gotta answer this,” he murmurs as you sit still and let him take the call. “Hello?”
   You watch him talk, eyes blown out as his breathing is still shallow, beads of sweat staining his forehead as his curls stick to the edges of his face. His eyes are on yours, unmoving, even when he’s talking to his daughter on the phone. 
   “You alright? You call Tommy first?” he asks as his free hand stills on your exposed thigh, his thumb gently circling your burning skin as his chocolate eyes stare back into yours, that same heated gaze locked on you. You hear a small voice on the end of the line, but it’s just quiet enough to where you can’t make out what she says. 
   “Ahh, shit. Alright, jus’ hang tight. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Jus’ wait there with Ellie and tell her not to touch anything. See ya in a few.” He clicks end on the phone and shoves it back into his pocket, sighing as he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes tight for just a few seconds. 
   “Everything okay?” you ask quietly, still out of breath from the heated kiss. 
   “Yeah, Sarah jus’ got a flat tire near the house. Tommy’s daughter, Ellie, is tryin’ to fix it, and I just know she’s gonna make a mess and hurt herself if I don’t get there quick. Damn kid likes to cause trouble,” he chuckles as he sighs again and pulls you close, resting his forehead on your own as he breathes out slowly. 
   He pushes some damp locks behind your ear, and you sit there glued to his flannel, your nose gently brushing against his. He shifts in his seat and sighs before he speaks. “Look, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to take it so far. If I didn’t get that call, I might’ve not been able to stop myself. You’re just so… so… beautiful and hard to resist and fuck. We don’t have to take it fast, we can go slow, as slow as you want, darlin’. I jus’ like you a lot and wanna keep you around and…”
   You cut him off as you press your thumb against his bottom lip and gently hush him. “Joel, it’s okay,” you giggle out as you look straight into flecks of warm honey eyes. “What if I don’t want to take it slow?”
   His eyes widen, a speck of sweat sliding down his forehead as he eyes you carefully, his heart hammering in his chest as he watches you closely. “Are you sure?”
   You nod in response. “I’m sure, Joel. I want this, want you. I’m all in. I’m not going anywhere.”
   A small smile creeps up against his lips, and then all you can see is warmth in his face, his cheeks tinged red as he blushes. “Alright, sweetheart. If that’s what you want. What do you say, Friday we pick this up where we left off?”
   “Friday it is, cowboy.”
   Another chuckle reverberates off his lips as he brings you down once more against him and crashes his lips into yours. This time it’s just one kiss, but it’s as heated and intense as the others, but there’s also something else in the kiss. Need, desire, want. He wants you, just as bad as you want him. 
   When he breaks the kiss, he helps you off his lap and ghosts his fingers over the back of your hand as you make your way out of the truck. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep tight.”
   Before you close the door, you smile warmly at him and wave flirtatiously. “Night, cowboy. You sure do know how to light a girl up inside.” Before he can say anything back as his cheeks burn bright crimson, you slam the door closed and saunter up to your small porch. You feel his eyes on you, watching until you make it in safely, then he’s driving off into the thick of the night. 
   When you close the door, you slide down the back of the wood and end up on the floor in a heap, giggling to yourself as you rest your head against the back of the door and hug the stuffed dolphin to your chest. You can’t stop kicking your feet, can’t stop the feeling of warmth and nerves pulling at your insides. You have it so bad for Joel Miller. You can’t wait to see him again. Your new favorite cowboy. 
Tags: @laurrrra @sawymredfox @amyispxnk @princesatracionera @vivian-pascal
@littlevenicebitch69 @mountainsandmayhem @lotusbxtch @jasminedragoon
@msjarvis @survivingandenduring @littlepedrito @burntheedges @pedroisghosties @pedrostories
@disassociation-daydreams @littlepadika @notjustjavierpena-fics @giowritess
@untamedheart81 @akah565 @keylimebeag @angelbbyswrld @sunbellylou @auteurdelabre
@axshadows @joelmillerisapunk @pedroswife69
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Rook Book to Remember Me By
Part 2 of Rook Book
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!Metro!reader
Summary: Tim's delay in transferring to Metro may have cost him everything, and as he and Lucy search Los Angeles for a killer, he only has his memories and a fake rook book to remember you by.
Warnings: ANGST, death, fluff
Word Count: 3.6k+ words
A/N: I know this is a Chenford gif but it fits. :)
Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
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“What is that?” Lucy asks as she waits beside Tim’s desk. “A bomb?”
“Lower your voice, boot,” Tim snaps. “We don’t need a stampede.”
“Yes, sir. So, what is it?”
“What does it look like? It’s a book.”
“No, it’s a rook book with a bow on it. And I bet I know who it’s from.”
“50 pushups.”
“But-“
“You want double?”
Lucy frowns as she silences, and she watches Tim lift the book. He opens the front cover and shakes his head before dropping it into one of his drawers. Lucy doesn’t move toward the door, and Tim sighs as he leans against his desk.
“What?” he asks.
“Is that just a book? Or a none-rook-book-rook-book? Like the one somebody’s pretty TO used to carry?”
“Pretty TO?” you ask from behind Lucy.
Tim had been too distracted by the book and Lucy’s prying questions to notice you walk in. Dressed in your Metro uniform, you slide your hands into your pockets and smile.
“I’ll assume you’re talking about Tim,” you add.
“Yeah, right,” Lucy snorts.
“100 pushups it is,” Tim announces.
“Tim,” you chide softly. “You can’t blame her for being excited to see this side of you. It took me your entire probationary period to learn you could smile.”
“Chen, give us a minute,” Tim says.
“Do I have to?” she asks quietly.
“Yes,” you and Tim say together. The difference is that you add, “Please.”
You watch Lucy move toward the equipment room before turning to Tim. He furrows his brows and unconsciously blocks the drawer with your gift in it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call last night,” you begin. “Metro raided a speakeasy, and it went a little haywire.” “Are you okay?” Tim interrupts. “That’s what I was going to ask you. I know you tolerate me, maybe even like me a little, but you don’t call unless you need something.”
“I, uh, just wanted to hear your voice. But I’m fine, I promise.”
You nod and run your tongue over your bottom lip as you think. “Still have nightmares?”
“I’m fine.”
“Look, Lucy is ready to pass that test, but in the end moving to Metro is a big decision. One you can do; I don’t doubt that. Just… don’t stick around because you think you have some debt to pay or something. Your boot is important, but your career is too.”
“I’ll remember that.”
Your Metro Commander yells your name, and you lay a hand on Tim’s shoulder before whispering a farewell. He watches you go and decides that when he calls you tonight, he’ll ask why you chose the book you did. Hopefully, he thinks, it will allow him to admit some things. He needs more than your voice to calm him in the middle of the night these days.
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“Can I just say one thing?” Lucy asks from the passenger seat of the shop.
“Will me saying no stop you?” Tim replies.
“I think you’re really cute together. She’s been waiting for you, and I don’t think you should make her wait just because you’re scared.”
“What makes you think I’m scared? You mean well, Chen, but this is none of your concern.”
“Maybe not. But it’s yours, and you know I’m right.”
Tim wants to keep arguing, maybe threaten Lucy with more pushups to make her leave it alone, but the radio cuts him off.
“Attention all units. Officer down at Wilshire Federal Building. Metro requesting backup. Will advise.”
Tim’s world slows as he pulls the shop to a curb. He and Lucy are too far away to provide backup fast enough, but he can’t move until he knows that you’re okay. Lucy watches him as he stares at the radio, but with each second of silence, she gets more concerned for him.
“She’s going to be okay,” Lucy whispers.
Tim shakes his head. He doesn’t want to think about the alternative but believing that you’re okay without knowing is more dangerous than being wrong and hearing another officer’s name over the radio.
“Bradford, Chen, Harper, Nolan,” Wade radios. “Get back to the station and prepare to assist Metro.”
“Uh, you- you drive, Lucy,” Tim says as he unclips his seatbelt.
“Attention all units,” the dispatch officer begins.
She identifies the downed officer, and when your name is said, Tim’s world stops. He waited too long, and now he can never tell you how he feels. He had a crush on you, he wants to say, but it turned into so much more.
“Tim,” Lucy calls as she opens the driver-side door. “C’mon.”
Tim doesn’t feel any shame as he leans on Lucy. She ushers him into the passenger seat before she drives to the station with lights and sirens on. Tim’s silence is terrifying, and although Lucy is also feeling grief and is heartbroken to hear you’re gone, her concern for Tim outweighs her own emotions.
As Tim exits the shop, his devastation suddenly makes room for anger. He doesn’t blame any of your fellow officers, but if he had moved to Metro sooner, he would have been there with you, and maybe he could have changed the outcome. He slams the door and ignores Lucy as he storms into the bullpen.
Lucy and Tim slow as they see several Metro teams gathered together, but it’s obvious that something is wrong, something is missing. There’s a gap where you should be, and even the elite tactical officers seem lost without you.
“What happened?” Tim asks.
“Officer Bradford, we can’t release any information yet,” Wade answers. “Metro’s going to fill you in on what you need to know. They need as many of us as they can get.”
Tim clenches his jaw to stop the remark that he wants to make. The Metro teams are talking quietly, and he gestures for Lucy to step to his other side as he moves closer.
“You saw the shot?” one of them asks.
“Yeah,” someone answers.
“Then where’d they take her?”
At the realization that you’re not only gone, but they don’t even know where your body is, Tim begins looking around. He sees his Sergeant, Captain, and the Metro commanders huddled in a corner and walks directly to them.
“I want a position in the task force. You need more people, and I’m one of the few patrol officers who knows how to complete a manhunt like this,” he demands.
“I understand where you’re coming from Bradford, but you’re too invested in this to go out alone,” Wade replies.
“Then let me go with him,” Lucy interjects. “Tim knows what he’s doing, and we can patrol and engage in the manhunt at the same time, right?”
Wade looks to the Metro sergeant to his left, who shrugs noncommittedly. He sighs before nodding and tells Tim to get back out on the street and wait for the information about the gunman.
“Wait,” Tim tells Lucy as he stops beside his desk.
He pulls the book from the bottom drawer and tucks it under his arm before continuing to the shop. If this is his last drive where you’re involved, he wants you there. Or as close as he can get.
“Dispatch released a picture,” Lucy says before turning the dash computer toward Tim.
He looks at the picture until the light turns green, and then he begins a grid search surrounding the Wilshire Federal Building. If that man is still nearby, and Tim finds him first, prison will be the least of his worries.
“What’s the book?” Lucy inquires.
“It’s her favorite,” Tim answers.
“You know what her favorite book is. That’s really sweet, Tim.”
“She’s been telling me for years to read it and I keep making excuses not to.”
“And now?”
Tim nods, and Lucy knows that he is going to not only read the book but devour it and everything related to it to feel close to you again.
“7-Adam-19, assault in progress inside Shell gas station at the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and Greenfield Avenue. 9-1-1 caller requested your presence on scene.”
Tim hits the steering wheel before telling Lucy to accept the call. He doesn’t have time to break up a fight in a gas station, not when your killer is on the loose. The gas station is less than five minutes away, but Tim gets grumpier with every minute. As he and Lucy enter the gas station, he’s prepared to jump in the fight just to finish it faster.
“You called the police, what’s the problem?” Tim asks the cashier.
The young girl looks scared; her face is pale, and her hands shake above the cash register.
“This doesn’t look like an assault in progress,” Tim adds with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.
Lucy steps forward to speak to the girl while Tim looks around. The gas station is empty, but Tim doesn’t make it far before he sees a blood trail on the floor. It rounds the end of the cashier’s counter and disappears under a door. Tim pulls his gun and whispers for Lucy to stay ready as he steps toward the door.
“In there?” Lucy asks.
The woman behind the counter nods, and Lucy gestures for Tim to go ahead. Tim pushes the door open and raises his gun to clear the room while Lucy stays on the other side of the opening. He looks down to follow the blood but freezes when someone speaks.
“Officer Bradford, California Penal Code 217.1 is punishable by what?”
“Chen!” Tim yells as he holsters his gun.
Lucy hits the light switch for the storage closet, and Tim kneels to lift a bloody gun from the floor.
“They said you died,” Tim says as he moves closer to you.
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You hear Tim begin asking questions when he enters the gas station and hope that the cashier that you scared by walking in covered in your blood can point him to your hiding spot in the storage closet. Your gun is on the floor beside your feet and your long-sleeve Metro t-shirt is balled against the gunshot wound in your shoulder.
When Tim opens the door, you ask him about a penal code before your head tips forward. Staying conscious while losing blood isn’t as easy as some may think, and you want to make a joke, but Tim jumps to action before you can.
“They said you died,” Tim says quietly.
He lays a hand over your cheek as his other hand applies more pressure to the fabric on your shoulder.
“I think that was the goal,” you mumble.
“Chen, radio for-“
“No!” you interrupt. Your voice raises at the idea of Chen communicating this news over the radio. “The men who we went in there to arrest have radios. They knew we were coming, but if they think I’m dead we can use that.”
“You need help,” Tim argues.
He reaches for his phone, and you lay a bloody hand on his forearm to stop him. You wait for him to look at your face to smile.
“We find another way to get help. But as far as anyone with a police radio knows, I’m still dead.”
“How am I supposed to get you treatment for a GSW without raising any red flags? Any ER nurse will call the police.”
“What about Grace?” Lucy suggests. “Nolan’s friend? If we could talk to her before we take you in, she may be able to keep it quiet.”
“If you think it will work, let’s do it,” you agree.
“No,” Tim interrupts. “We’re not putting your life in the hands of a rookie.”
“Tim, she’s right. This is a good plan and one we need if we want these guys off the street. Please, just trust me and Lucy for a few minutes. You can yell at us and brainstorm new Tim Tests later.”
“Call Grace,” Tim says as he moves his arms around you. “If this starts going wrong, or something happens to you, I will use my radio.”
“Understood.”
You keep your uninjured arm across your chest as Tim lifts you into his arms. Lucy leads the way out and opens the backdoor of the shop before apologizing to the gas station clerk. She leaves her card and scribbles the number of someone who can clean the bloody scene but reminds the girl not to call the police or tell anyone you were here. As Tim drives through traffic and Lucy talks to Grace, you notice a book in the floorboard and chuckle.
“What?” Tim asks quickly.
“You have my rook book.”
“Guess I don’t have to read it now that you’re not dead.”
“If I didn’t know better I would think you’re mad at me, Bradford.” “You know exactly what I’m thinking.”
“Don’t risk your job for revenge, Tim. I know you care about me, and I care about you, too, but this isn’t worth it. We work the case like any other.”
“Easy for you to say,” Tim snaps. “You didn’t think the woman you love was murdered twenty minutes ago.”
Lucy ends the call and looks through the cage at you. It’s not how Tim planned to tell you, but he feels lighter with the admission.
“I’m sorry, Tim,” you whisper.
“Tell me after.”
“I’m not waiting until the end of Lucy’s probation period.”
“Please don’t,” she agrees. “I can only take so much more pining from this one.”
“I don’t pine,” Tim grumbles.
“Yes, you do,” you and Lucy argue together.
“Bradford, status report?” Wade radios.
Tim looks at Lucy, who apologizes quickly for not communicating a code 4.
“Code 4, Grey,” Tim replies. “But don’t ask any questions right now.”
“Okay. As long as you didn’t break any laws, this conversation never happened.”
Tim glances over his shoulder at you, and you state, “I haven’t broken any laws. Have you?”
“Not yet.”
“If there’s blood on this book later, that’s your fault.”
Tim sighs, and it sounds almost like a laugh. You don’t have time to tease him before he pulls into the emergency room drop-off area of Shaw Memorial Hospital. Grace and several nurses run out and wheel you in quickly, promising to help you without asking any questions or reporting anything to the police.
“What now?” Lucy asks as the doors close behind you.
“Now, we find the people who are getting 15 to life for trying to kill an officer for completing her duties,” Tim answers.
“Tim,” Lucy calls.
He stops, and she points to the blood staining his skin. Tim opens the trunk of the shop and retrieves a pack of wipes from one of the war bags. Lucy watches as he harshly scrubs your blood from his skin and gets angrier with every wipe he tosses aside.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” she asks.
“Lucy,” he begins as he slams the trunk closed. “I’m pissed off and I have a feeling in my chest that I’m not used to. But how I feel doesn’t matter. We’re going to get every single one of the people involved in this, and make sure they end up in a hole.”
“By ‘a hole,’ you mean prison, right?” Tim walks around the shop rather than answering, and Lucy rushes to repeat, “You mean prison, right?”
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“7-Adam-19, report to Sepulveda and Ohio Avenue.”
“What now?” Tim yells.
He steers the shop into an illegal U-turn and speeds down Sepulveda Boulevard. Lucy gasps as they near the intersection.
“Turn left onto Ohio,” she says.
“Why?”
“Just do it!”
“Second left onto Camden,” she adds after he turns.
Tim slams on the brakes when he sees someone sitting on the curb at the end of Camden Avenue. Lucy exits the shop as soon as it stops and rushes to hug you as you stand.
“Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital?” Tim demands as he joins you.
“Uh, no?” you guess.
“It’s not your fight anymore. You’re dead, remember?”
“Tim-“
“No, you’re going home. You just got out of the hospital.”
“It was just a flesh wound. Lots of blood, a couple of stitches, but no long-term damage. Besides, when’s the last time you got to watch a ghost slap the cuffs on her killer?”
“Look around Tim,” Lucy encourages.
He already know where he is: the sight of his first arrest with you as his TO, it’s a day he’ll never forget. Tim groans before he waves his hand toward the shop. Lucy cheers and offers you her seat. It’s strange being in the passenger seat with Tim again; last time you were here, he was in long sleeves and fresh out of the Army. He was a great rookie, and he’s a great TO, but you want him to be more.
“Tim!” you alert just as Tim slows to a stop.
“I see him,” he agrees.
“Was that too easy?” Lucy asks.
“Well, it’s not over yet,” Tim responds.
“We can do it,” you tell Tim. “You go left, I go right, Lucy splits the middle.”
“This is the coolest thing I’ve ever done,” Lucy whispers from the backseat.
“Alright,” Tim agrees. “Lucy, you do whatever you have to do to get the one in the middle down, okay?”
“3… 2… 1…” you and Tim count down together.
You exit the shop silently and leave the doors open. As Tim goes wide to take down the suspect on the left, you move toward the man who shot you. You, Lucy, and Tim strike at the same time and push the suspects down onto the sidewalk. The man beneath you attempts to elbow you in the face, but you shove his head down against the concrete and warn him against moving.
When you cuff him and pull him up to his knees, the man gets a good luck at your face. His expression changes and he leans away like you’re truly a ghost. He tries to move back, but only tips and rolls into the street.
“Leave him,” Tim says as he reaches for his radio. “Grey, this is Bradford, Chen, and our missing Metro officer. We’ve got good news and three suspects in custody. Send backup to my location.”
“No R/A?” you ask. “Because you seemed really eager to send me back to the hospital earlier.”
“You seem fine,” Tim explains with a shrug.
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“Tim,” you call as you exit Wade’s office.
He’s changed into his civvies and is preparing to leave for the night. You can’t let him, though, because there is no more time.
“Can you- do you wanna come over for a bit?” you ask.
The left side of Tim’s lips move up as he nods, and you accept his hand as he leads you to his truck. Tim drives to your home in relative silence, and you use the time to find the right words to say. Once you’re inside, you sit on the couch beside Tim and decide to tell him everything. You’ve let him into your life and your house, now you just have to let him in on how you feel.
“You said you loved me in the shop today,” you say. “But I have been falling for you since the moment you walked into roll call your first day. You’ve always been more than my rookie and I can’t live another day without you in my life, Tim. I want you. Nightmares, embarrassing memories between us, fake rook books, all of it. I need you, Tim.”
Tim leans closer with his arm stretched on the back of the couch behind your shoulders. “This is better than 1001.66,” he murmurs.
“Did you just compare my confession of being in love with you to a penal code about bad checks? Because that is-“
Your words end in a hum as Tim curls his arm around your shoulders and kisses you. He tugs you closer, and you hold his face between your hands as you show him that your words are more than that. Tim has had a crush on you since he started patrolling with you, but now he knows that he loves you and needs you beside him. You push him, and he pushes you, but you do it because you know what you’re capable of.
Tim’s phone rings, but he ignores it as he pulls you closer, so your legs are bracketing his. He leans up to continue kissing you as his phone begins ringing again. You press your hands against his chest and break away to retrieve his phone. He follows your movement and peppers kisses along your jaw, completely uninterested in answering his phone.
You see the name on the caller ID and answer, “Hi, Lucy.”
“Hey!” she replies. “I wanted to ask how you’re doing. And if Tim’s alright after everything that happened.”
“We’re both fine,” you promise breathlessly.
“Wait-“
You assume that Lucy realizes that you answered Tim’s phone, which means you’re still together. She squeals into the phone, and you pull it away from your ear and smile.
“Oh, I have to tell Angela!” she yells.
Tim rolls his eyes and keeps one hand around your waist as he pulls his phone away from you. “Bye,” he says quickly before ending the call.
“Hanging up on your rookie isn’t nice,” you say.
“Like you wouldn’t have hung up on me.”
“You were scared to call because you had a crush on me.”
“Still do.”
“What? Tim-“
Tim cuts you off with another kiss; it’s his answer and a reminder of how he feels. You remember the rook book that was in his truck, but now that you’re a permanent fixture in Tim’s life, you can make sure he reads it.
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c00kieguy · 17 hours
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𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝙴𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜 [Ch.3]
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relationships: Aventurine x GN!Reader summary: Despite his fears and worries, Aventurine finally tells you about his past. Read more here cw: 2.1 quest SPOILERS, fluff, comfort, a bit of humor. a/n: not proofread unfortunately [The series is done!] Good luck on your Aventurine pulls! wc: 1.5k Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (this one) masterlist
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Before long, the next day emerged. It was Sunday now and you only had today to spend with your beloved boyfriend before you were back to working your regular shifts. It seemed the dishes had other plans however, having forgotten to wash them yesterday you had no choice but to get at them today. 
Unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend approaches you from behind. You feel his gentle touch as he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on you, his soft breath tickling your back. You take comfort in his presence but pay him no mind as you continue doing the dishes.
“Can we talk?” He suddenly asks. His quiet tone concerns you so you immediately stop what you’re doing to face him.
“What’s wrong?” You gently cup his face in your hand in worry. The sudden question had you run a million worst case scenarios in your head already.
“Nothing, don’t worry.” He places his hands over yours and gives you a careful smile. “I just have a few things to share, if you have the time?” 
You don’t even hesitate before dropping everything to accompany him to your room. Lying down on your shared bed you face each other. Kakavasha has his head on your chest while you rest yours on his hair. Normally your presence alone would be enough to calm his nerves, but today it had the opposite effect on him. 
Eventually you hear a quiet voice come from under you. “I…used to work for the IPC…” The IPC?
“Is that all?” You laugh a little. “Well, surprise! Me too.” Was this all? What a simple matter.
“You did?” He’s a little taken back at your confession and looks up at you for an explanation.
“It was just contract work, so not exactly working with them, but it’s basically the same isn’t it?” You say with a laugh. “Was this your big secret? That’s all?” He goes quiet at this. Here you were giving him your full attention and he couldn’t even muster up enough courage to spill the truth. He half wanted to just go along with it and live out his life with you in peace. ‘Yep that’s it haha’ and he could go on pretending like the former part of his life didn’t exist, but that would be unfair to you. More importantly, it would be unfair to his loved ones. 
He wanted you to know of his past, of his parents, his sister. He wanted to share with you the joyful and sorrowful parts of his past. He wanted you to know everything about him, but that’s the thing about being honest, he had to talk about it. Oh how he wished he could just airdrop his memories into your brain, maybe if he didn’t have to verbally state it, it won’t hurt as much.
You keep your eyes trained on him, waiting for him to continue, not rushing him. Your boyfriend simply tucks his head back under your chin, unable to look at you anymore. His ever growing anxiety makes him want to bury himself alive. There’s a long pause before he speaks again.
“Aventurine…” It’s soft, so soft you almost miss it. “That’s what I used to go by.” His voice slightly cracks at the end and he hopes you don’t notice.
“The stoneheart?” You can’t help your accusing tone. He couldn't be one of them…right? You’ve always been vocal about your dislike for the IPC, so to think your boyfriend was once an integral part of them left a pit in your stomach. Is this why he was so hesitant to share his past with you? Did he think you’d hate him?
“I’m sorry…” His voice only comes off as a whisper. He’s not sure if he wants to hold onto you tighter or if you’d prefer if he stops touching you altogether. Clenching his fist he really hopes it’s the former, he’ll allow himself that much hope at least.
“No, don’t apologize. I’m not mad at you, just a little shocked.” You quickly try to salvage the situation. To think the whole time you were the problem and not him, you couldn’t forgive yourself enough. “I should be apologizing. I’d never hate you, I could never do such a thing Kakavasha.” You allow yourself to rest your forehead on his, hoping he learns to trust you again, but he already does, he always did. “Should I call you Aventurine now?” He’s quick to shoot you down with a frantic look in his eyes.
“No, that was just a title. I…” He looks at you with such desperation in his eyes. “I love the way you say my name, so please, don’t ever stop using it.” Then that’s exactly what you’ll do.
Ah, wait. Amidst all your feelings you seemed to have brushed aside a crucial detail.
“What do you mean ‘used to’, you’re not a stoneheart anymore? What happened?” He sighs and looks away with an uninterested look. 
“I…left.” He says slowly. “I’ve fully repaid my debt to the IPC, so I just left.” He looks back at you, this time with a more certain look in his eyes. “I made sure they won’t have a reason to come find me again, and since they haven’t hunted me down yet, my plan must’ve worked.” He ends with a dry laugh. Anyone could tell he didn’t want to talk about it so you decide to change the topic to something a little more lighthearted.
“So, your friends. I’m guessing there’s more to them.” You found it cute how his face instantly lit up.
“Haha yea. The businesswoman I mentioned? She’s Topaz, a senior manager of the Strategic Investment Department.” It almost felt like he was bragging, 
“Another stoneheart…of course.” Your boyfriend misunderstands you and gives you a worried look so you immediately correct yourself. “Sorry it’s just. I thought you ran away from home, or maybe you were divorced with kids or something. Not…not this.” You say with an exaggerated sigh. You hope a small joke like this will lift the mood a little.
“Divorced with kids? Do I really look that old to you?” He laughs at your attempt at lightening the mood and you can’t help just join him. 
“I’m just…glad. That you feel comfortable enough sharing this with me.” You give him a warm smile. “I’m glad you trust me, Kakavasha.” You really did. You trusted him so wholly, and to have that trust given back to you felt wonderful. “Oh! What about the guy from Veritas Prime? I’m guessing he doesn’t actually go there?”
“Oh, he does. He’s not a student though, he’s a lecturer there.” He says nonchalantly. “Have you heard of Dr. Veritas Ratio?”
“Veritas Ratio? You’re friends with Veritas Ratio?!” You ask in exasperation. “I mean, who am I kidding, of course you are!” Being so high up in the IPC must give him unique privileges after all.
“You look a lot more shocked about this than Topaz haha. Why’s that?” He’s clearly amused by your reaction.
“I’ve always wanted to go there, but I could never pass the entrance exam.” You reply sheepishly. “The curriculum was way too packed and I realized I preferred something more down to earth anyway.” Reaching out for his face you gently tuck a strand of hair behind his ears. “And I’m happy I became a baker, after all, I wouldn't have met you otherwise.” Kakavasha gives you a small smile with his cheeks a slight tint of pink.
“So…any other strange friends you’re not telling me about?” He takes his time to think about it before replying.
“Well, there is one other. I’d like to think we’re friends but I’m not sure if she would agree.” He sounds melancholic at the thought. “She really helped a lot. There was a point in my life where…everything seemed meaningless. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.” It must have been rough, being all alone, but you were glad there was at least someone there for him. “She was there to help me, a little. Something about an Emanator of Nihility telling you that there’s meaning to life is really encouraging I suppose.”
“AN EMENATOR??” You practically scream at him. 
“Yes, an Emenator.” How did he manage to get himself involved with an emenator? And not just any emenator, but one of Nihility?
“Incredible, your life is a million times more interesting than mine.” You say in defeat. He truly was amazing, and his circle of friends are as unique as one could get. Part of you felt a pang of jealousy, why couldn’t your life be even a fraction as interesting as his? You couldn’t help but want to know more. “How did you manage to escape? If you don’t mind telling me, I’m just a little curious.” 
“It’s a very long story.” He chuckles.
“I’m willing to listen.” You place a small kiss on his forehead. “If you’re willing to share.”
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Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (this one) masterlist
© c00kieguy ➼ do not repost/copy/translate (without my permission) or claim any of my works as your own. Reblogs are appreciated ❣
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Weekly Recap | April 8th-14th 2024
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Managed to put it out slightly earlier this time! 😆 This is still long af and there are still too many fics left in my ao3 inbox but maybe the mini hiatus will allow me to catch up!
As you can see I'm still enjoying podfics and I am happy to report that listening to Coma-Verse made me cry as much if not more as reading it 🙃 You can also looks forward to part 2 of my "BFF fic rec" series which will cover seasons 4 and 5, coming soon!
Enjoy! 😃
Complete
and with each one, i'm a little more free series by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E4, Coming Out):
settle (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Chimney. so let the words slip out of your mouth (1,7K | General): Buck comes out to Eddie.
kiss him once for me by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S7E5 Spec, Jealous Eddie | <1K | General): Eddie was perfectly happy and accepting about Buck’s sexuality, in fact, he liked to think he was the ideal picture of a best friend when Buck had told him. So, nothing changed between them. Or at least, nothing changed until he sees Buck and Tommy kiss.
when we're barely awake in the heat of the day's weight by trysetmeonfire/ @try-set-me-on-fire (BuckTommy | 1K | Mature): Buck wakes up at Tommy’s place and they have a conversation about taking up space
like an empty bottle takes the rain by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S7E4, Sexuality Crisis | 1,2K | General): "I was wondering. You and Tommy—how did you know?" There's a soft intake of breath. "That I was into guys? Or that I was into him?" "Either." Eddie shrugs tightly. "Both."
Yes, Daddy by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP, Daddy Kink | 1,7K | Explicit): And really, the shit eating smirk that graces Buck’s too pink lips should have been Eddie’s warning. But he’s so used to his best friend’s antics that he’s become immune to them. Or, well he thought he had. “Yes, Daddy.”
don't stand a ghost of a chance (with you) by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy Breakup | 1,7K | Teen): Tommy isn’t stupid. He knows the score from the beginning. But. He’s only so strong. And Evan is both hot as hell and supremely adorable. So Tommy kisses him, and asks him out, and tells himself that maybe he’s just been reading the signs wrong. Maybe Evan and Eddie really are just…very…close friends. He’s imagining things. They’re friends—or maybe Evan has a crush—but that’s fine. Evan asked Tommy out. So Eddie is…a nonissue. Tommy tells himself that right up until he can’t anymore.
don't want to be a fool for you by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Bachelor party, Madney Wedding Spec | 1,8K | Teen): Or, at both the bachelor party and the wedding reception, Buck looks at Eddie.
let’s get lost between the lines by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (BuckTommy, Post-S7E5 | 2K | General): “You handled that well,” Tommy said, as they left the restaurant and stepped out into this cool evening air. His words were soft, and gentle – genuine, even. As though he really meant it. Buck was baffled, frankly. “I handled that with as much grace as an elephant doing ballet,” Buck glared at his - his date? - incredulously. “Tommy, did you hit your head? Are you concussed? Do I need to take you to the emergency room?” or, after the eddie shaped hiccup of their first date, buck and tommy walk and talk - about coming out and why buck deserves a nice boyfriend.
good luck, babe by hattalove/ @hattalove (Outsider POV, Social Media fic, S7E5, BuckTommy Date | 2K | Teen): sometimes, when you've had a bad week, all you want is a romantic evening out with your wife over terrible pizza, and what you get instead is some kind of intricate gay ritual happening two tables away from you.
say my name and everything just stops by bellabrady (BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie, Getting Together | 3K | Not Rated): Or: Buck accidentally moans Eddie's name while making out with Tommy and it leads to some realizations.
behaving myself. by dylaesthetics (Secret Relationship | 3K | Teen): OR it’s just a regular day at fire station one-eighteen. No one’s acting weird. Nothing’s out of the ordinary. Everything's the same as it's always been. Right?
even for a phoenix (i’m getting tired) by hobbitprincess (Post-S5E18, Hurt Buck | 3K | Mature) : “You’re gonna be fine,” says Eddie again, and Buck hates that he can parse out the slight waver that wasn’t there the first time. Buck doesn’t have the heart to disagree with him, even if they both know it isn’t true.
This Old Love Has Me Bound by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespoonevan (Post-S7E4 | 3K | Teen): In an attempt to better understand his newfound bisexuality, Buck tries to figure out if he ever missed any signs with guys before. The universe keeps interrupting every time he's about to think about Eddie.
so much to say that's subject-sore by hattalove/ @hattalove (BuckTommy, Buddie Endgame | 3K | Teen): in which buck is convinced he's having commitment issues, tommy is there to hold his hand, and the tiramisu won't eat itself.
I get drunk on jealousy by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (FWB BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | Explicit): Eddie calls Buck in the middle of the night at a not so covenient time, words are said, feelings are revealed and Buck's strenght is tested.
shoot another shot (try to stop the feeling) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Bachelor Party Spec, BuckTommy, Endgame Buddie | 5K | General): "He just. He won't let me in, Tommy. It's terrifying. I don't know how to help him because he's refusing to even admit there's something wrong." Buck scrubs a hand down his face. "I'm not crazy, am I? I'm not making things up? He's not himself, right?" (OR: eddie gets drunk and cuts a little too loose, buck tries to pick up the pieces and ends up getting more than he bargained for, and tommy is just happy he got to be with buck at least for a little while)
Threes Not A Crowd by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie, PWP | 5K | Explicit): Follow up to Buck's Boyfriends in which Buck's boyfriends take care of him. Incredibly well. (Part 2 of Buck's Boyfriends)
🔥 To Build A Nest (To Build A Home) by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Post-S5E14, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): Five times Buck shows his love for Eddie via pebbling and the one time Eddie uses those pebbles to build a nest.
don't go breaking my heart. by dylaesthetics (S7E6 Spec, Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Coming to terms with being bisexual and being in love with his best friend is not how Buck expected to spend the month or so leading up to his sister’s wedding. But then again, life has shown time and time again that he has been put on this planet to suffer. - OR Buck can’t take it anymore and kisses Eddie in the middle of his sister’s wedding reception. He’s never been known for making good decisions. (Part 2 of heaven is you.)
🔥 Test Drive by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (PWP, Buck/Tommy/Eddie, Buddie Endgame | 28K | Explicit): In which Buck wants his boyfriend to give his best friend a queer awakening like he had. For no particular reason at all. While he also has the most inopportune "Oh" moment ever.
WIP
Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 4/6 | 20K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)
🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 125/? | 389K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.
What’s Your Order? by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Post-S7E5, BuckTommy | 2K | Teen): 5 Times Buck Guessed Tommy’s Coffee Order + 1 Time He Didn’t Have To
🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 8/18 | 45K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.
🔥 Cowboy With a One Track Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergence, Not A Firefighter Buck | 1/4 | 6K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 7 (Land): Grieving and tortured, Evan Buckley has been living alone in Montana in a remote cabin for nearly a decade. After an incident that leaves him missing six months of his life, and suddenly in connection with a group of strangers from Los Angeles, Evan must decide whether to remain in his self-imposed exile, or take a chance at life again.
Podfics
🔥 [podfic] wedding bells by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for renecdote/ @renecdote (Friends to Fiances | 10-20 min | General): The background noise of the movie and the warm weight of his best friend against his side is lulling Eddie towards a nap when Buck breaks the silence. “Do you want to get married?” “Sure,” Eddie answers sleepily. “Fall wedding?” “What?” Buck frowns, and Eddie realises: oh, he meant do I want to get married generally not to him specifically. Then Buck is asking, “Why fall?”
🔥 [podfic] do you love me? all you gotta do is say yes by All_I_Ask/ @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove for fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Outsider POV, Friends to Fiances | 30-45 min | Teen): or, two boy best friends and an ex lover walk into a grocery store. everyone is on their normalest behaviour.
OK with being OK [Podfic] by blackglass/ @blackestglass // fic by S_lycopersicum/ @slycopersicum-in-disguise (Post-S5, Coming Out | 10-20 min | Teen): Buck was about 10 minutes away from the firehouse when his phone pinged. "Message from Eddie Diaz," Hildy's too-smooth voice announced, and Buck laughed at how Eddie's face would scrunch at Hildy knowing his business. "Wait in your car when you get here. I need to talk to you before we go in" Oh shit.
🔥 [Podfic] rainbows have nothing to hide by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge for hattalove/ @hattalove (Getting Together | 20-30 min | Teen): how is eddie diaz like kermit the frog? let buck and christopher count the ways. (Part 1 of the kermit verse)
🔥 [Podfic] Before the Night Fades by slipofthetongue/ @burnthatbridge // fic by MilenaDaniels/ @milenadaniels (Post-S4E14: Survivors, Outsider POV | 45-60 min | Teen): “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box. “Okay?” “Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who." --- Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.
🔥[Podfic] Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by HMSLusitania/ @hmslusitania (Canon Divergent, S1, Dispatcher Eddie | 2.5-3h | Mature): Eddie's PTSD is just that little bit worse and when he moves to Los Angeles, instead of joining the LAFD, he joins dispatch. Which is all good and fine, except for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.
🔥[Podfic] i did, i did, i do by Ceewelsh/ @mayonnaisetoffees // fic by @hattalove (Canon Divergent | 30-45min | Teen): or the one in which, a couple of weeks after meeting each other, buck and eddie fell in love, broke up, and then forgot to fall out of it.
🔥The Evolution of Buddie [Podfics] by MistMarauder/ @gracieryder for InsaneJuliann/ @marvelingjules (Post-Shooting, Getting Together, Eddie Coming Out, Warning: Homophobia)
[Podfic] Someone Told Me Not to Cry (It's a Lie) (20-30min | Teen): Eddie's fine, he is. Really. He keeps telling himself that until he accidentally calls Buck in the middle of the night after a nightmare.
[Podfic] Just Bros being Bros (45-60min | Teen): It's totally normal to kiss your best friend on the cheek. Eddie has no idea why everyone keeps giving him looks and thinking there's more there.
[Podfic] I was Sinking (Somehow I Forgot) (45-60min | Teen): Eddie tries to figure out just what he may or may not be feeling for Buck. Really, it only leaves him with more questions than any actual answers. His mind keeps twisting around, unable to let him settle with any certainty.
[Podfic] Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope (S3E18 | 45-60min | Teen): Buck's the one hurting this time, and Eddie wants to help, but he's not sure how, or if he even can. Maybe, he was wrong before. Maybe everyone was. Because clearly, Buck's not as over Abby as everyone seemed to think.
[Podfic] Hard to Learn to Love (45-60min | Teen): Buck's helping Eddie fix Abuela's porch. Eddie's pretty sure he's possibly going to do something stupid, because he can't stop thinking about how much he wants to kiss his best friend.
[Podfic] Someday (Gonna be Free) (45-60min | Teen): Karen points out to Eddie that maybe, his ideas of what a relationship has to look like are something he needs to reassess. She lends him a book, and before Eddie knows it, he's having one epiphany after another.
[Podfic] Bittersweet Triumph (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's parents drop by for an unexpected visit. The only thing Eddie can think to do is damage control. Eventually they'd leave, right? Eventually, he could relax again. But he's quickly reaching a breaking point, and he's not sure what'll be on the other side of it.
[Podfic] Pivotal Moment (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie's stood up to his parents, but of course it can't be that easy. They're still in his house, and Eddie's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He's frustrated, angry, scared even - and worried about so much at once he can't relax. It's not only leaving Eddie on edge, but Buck seems more and more tense, too.
[Podfic] Hello My Old Heart (1-1.5h | Teen): Eddie needs to check his parents have left - and either way, there's a lot he needs to work through about their visit. Good thing he has family, friends, and Buck to help him figure it all out. And maybe, it's time for him to start showing his hand more, with them all.
[Podfic] Unlearning Lonely After So Long (1-1.5h | Teen): It's the next morning, Buck's still there and making breakfast, and Eddie's realizing that while yeah, the list of things he needs to talk about - with Buck and others - definitely doesn't fill him with anything close to happiness, the rest of it? It's a kind of happiness he hasn't felt in a while.
[Podfic] The More Things Stay the Same (Getting Together | 30-45min | Teen): Eddie's realizing that, now that he's dating Buck, it's not that much different from before, really - except for the increased touching and kissing. That's new. Maybe that's why no one's caught on yet, and they're able to keep it to themselves for now.
🔥 Evan Buckley & The Coma-Verse of Madness by Daisies_and_Briars [Podfic]/@cal-daisies-and-briars by Rhea314 (Rhea)/ @rhea314 (Coma AU, Multiverse | 7-10h | Teen): After being struck by lightning on a call, Buck experiences a plethora of alternate realities showing him different directions his life could have taken. Fighting hard to get home, Buck learns what, or who, is important to him in every lifetime.
Re-Read
🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.
🔥 all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Pre-S4, Quarantine, Friends with Benefits | 10K | Explicit): “Okay, hear me out,” Buck said. "What if we have sex?” Eddie could be forgiven for choking on his own breath, given how out of the blue Buck's suggestion was. “What?” “You’re my best friend," Buck gestured vaguely. "And in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re living through an actual plague right now, so neither of us is actually getting any. So who better to have sex with than each other?" - or, craving intimacy during quarantine, buck and eddie strike up a friends with benefits situation. because it couldn't possibly go wrong.
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nina-renmen · 22 hours
Text
You’re Mine Pt.4
I’m in my era where I can produce 2-3 fics a day but I lose motivation within a week 😭 anyway, sorry for the long wait! As you all know there are Yandere themes such as mentions of drugging, murder, drinking and other themes that are not suited for minors or people that can’t handle this. You have been warned! (This fix is not prof read)
part 1 part 2 part 3
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The worst thing about this job was the aftermath of missions. The one thing y/n didn’t like was having to stay in one place after getting shot. The darker toned woman sat down, her leg throbbing. She was just thankful that it stopped bleeding. Unbeknownst to her, y/n’s captain stood around the corner. Y/n had gone on a solo mission, it was completed with no casualties but she did pay the price by getting shot. Although the bullet went straight through, price knew she wouldn’t be on her feet for a few days, maybe even weeks.
Outside he stood holding a sugary treat. Something y/n had told him she liked on their ‘date’. He fiddled with the packaged candy in his hands. Contemplating on going inside of her room, but just as he decided to do so, he heard y/n’s phone ring.
Looking down at her phone y/n saw her father’s contact name. Without waisting any time she answered it, putting it on speaker so she could changer her bandages. “Hey dad.” Y/n spoke first as she grabbed the roll of bandages and disinfected. “Y/n, sweetie….are you okay?” He asked. His voice sounding worried. Y/n only brushed it off as him being worried because of her wound. Word travels fast within the military.
“Yes dad….the bullet went through my leg. I should be back on my feet in two weeks or so.” The sound of bandages opening filled the silence as her father didn’t say anything in return. After a few moments he finally spoke up.
“No….thats too long. I’ll have one of my men come get you.” He said in almost a rushed tone.
“My wound isn’t that bad. I’m taking care of it and-“
“Not the wound y/n. I want you to stay away from Price.” General l/n spoke over y/n. Like a commander, barking orders at his subordinates. “Dad…Price isn’t that bad. He’s can be a little rough around the edges but he’s not bad.” Y/n said as she finished pouring the disinfectant alcohol over the wound.
“Y/n….Price has been looking into you. He’s stalking you. I want you out of that squad immediately.” Y/n furrowed her eyebrows as she hauled her movements. Sure…it was normal to look into someone. Y/n had looked into Price to see what he’d accomplished to get in the role of a captain but that was it. “Dad….thats normal. Maybe I’ve been late to a meeting or-“
“Stop making excuses for that man….ill tell you what. If I get you stone hard proof, you leave that squad with now argument. Okay?”
Y/n sighed as she wrapped her leg. Making sure not to put it on too tight. “Dad, I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
Y/n paused. She wasn’t sure how he’d react to this. “He’s my soulmate. I found out a while ago and-“
“You don’t think to tell me?” General l/n’s voice was softer this time. He seemed more understanding of the situation. “If I had known I wouldn’t have had made a big fuss.”
“It’s alright. I know you’re only looking out for me.” Y/n replied. As she finished tiring off the bandages.
“I still don’t trust him. My parents were soulmates and my father killed my mother, but you know that already. Don’t drop your guard just because he’s your soulmate.” Y/n’s father started. “Just because he loves you, doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you. Treat him just like any other man you’d come across.”
He was right. Loving someone dosn’t always mean you’re compatible or vise versa. “Okay..”
“Promise me.” General l/n’s voice grew stern.
“I promise.”
“And make sure you carry a gun on your dates.” Y/n’s father advised.
“I already do. No need to remind me.” Y/n said as she rolled her eyes.
“I’m just making sure you’re safe. You’re my only daughter.”
Y/n smiled at that. “I’ll be safe…..” There was a small silence between the two of them until he spoke up. “Alright then. Well I have to get back to work. Don’t cause too much trouble, I love you.”
Y/n laughed as she told him she loved him before he hung up. Sitting in silence, y/n thought about what he said. Even though she brushed it off she couldn’t help but be a bit wary of John.
A knock on her door startled her from her thoughts. Pushing those bad feeling away she called out. “Come in.”
The door opened, revealing John. He was in nothing but a blue shirt and khaki pants. His hand holding up y/n’s favorite sweet treat.
“I…heard you got injured. So I got you this.” He said, holding it up. Y/n’s eyes trailed over to the sweet treat. A grin carved on her face, giving price the green light to step into the room. He closed the door behind him before handing Y/n the sweet treat. Y/n’s fingers wrapped around the packaging. She thanked him with a smile as she tore open the wrapping paper like a child that had just been gifted candy.
“Is the medication working?” Price asked, trying to make small talk as he sat in the chair that was beside Y/n’s bed. He got comfortable in the chair. It was obvious he planned on staying a while.
“Not really.” Y/n said truthfully. “The medicine here dosn’t really work on me.”
John looked at y/n curiously. “Why is that?”
Y/n let out a nervous chuckle, as she leaned back into her pile of pillows that propped her up. “I didn’t grow up in a stable nehiborhood. My parents worked so much that I was sent to live with family members that weren’t so great. I picked up some bad habits if you know what I mean.” Y/n stated. “I’m clean now, but I still have a high tolerance for it.”
John nodded. He didn’t seem disgusted or disappointed. He seemed grateful that y/n told him. “I appreciate you telling me.” He said honestly. Unfortunately for y/n he only appreciated that y/n told him about it so he can up her dosage. If she hadn’t told him then he would have been confused as to why she hadn’t passed out after eating the snack he spiked.
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kuroenanan · 2 days
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Heya! 2nd req I have made for this blog for now:'D Can I request for all Niigo members(separate) x reader; Where the reader is basically a huge fan of Niigo though is in denial that they're too much of a downbad fan for their songs. But one day, they catch the reader screaming every lyrics of their song in their room(you can pick whichever song of your choice!) and gets embarrassed to find out that the specific character was actually watching and the reader tries to act as if nothing happened. It is also your choice if the reader is actually good at singing or if they're LITERALLY screaming the lyrics wahaha
Diehard fan
a/n ; this is such a funny request. please enjoy!
a/n 2 ; i included my favourite commissioned song of each member, with a link to each! pls listen to them. they’re great.
characters ; kanade, mafuyu, ena, and mizuki.
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# kanade.
since the members of nightcord are anonymous, and you don’t really know that your girlfriend is the composer of your favourite group, kanade can get a bit embarrassed whenever you talk about how amazing her group’s songs are!
she finds it a bit funny how you tend to deny how big of a fan you are, and if it were up to her, she’d gladly give you the title of number one fan.
one day, however, she doesn’t expect to hear you singing passion at 25:00 in your bedroom when she comes over for her weekly visit.
she stands there, mouth agape; your voice is beautiful, and your singing no less. you manage to hit every note with no issue, how come you’ve never sung for her before? she’d love to hear more.
when you find out she’s been standing there the entire time, your face flushes red and you pretend nothing was happening. she finds it adorable. <3
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# mafuyu.
she can’t quite explain it, but mafuyu feels a certain warmth in her chest whenever you talk about how much you love nightcord, especially when you talk about how the lyrics of each song resonate with you.
she doesn’t understand why you deny it, though; if you like nightcord so much, why not express it?
it’s not until she finds you in your bedroom, as she arrived to your house for a ‘study session’ (a lie she told to her mother), singing saisei, that she seems to understand.
were you shy about singing in front of her? ashamed? you shouldn’t be — she finds your voice so comforting, and mafuyu feels a small, genuine smile form on her face.
it goes away, however, as soon as you notice her standing outside your door and go beet red; coughing into your fist and beckoning her to come inside. you really should sing for her sometime.
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# ena.
ena can’t help but feel a bit proud of herself whenever you gush about nightcord — especially when you mention the artwork of each music video. that’s her art you’re praising; she wishes you knew that you were dating the illustrator.
she always asks why you deny it, and you respond with “i’m not denying anything!” which always makes her giggle.
nothing can stop her from being shocked, happy, and head over heels all at the same time, when she finds you in your bedroom singing i am rain, though.
it was a relatively new song from her group, and the fact that you already know each lyric by heart? could she be more in love?
she laughs as you realize she had been there the whole time, a lovestruck grin on her face as she enters your room.
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# mizuki.
mizuki loves when you talk about nightcord! they can’t help but feel giddy whenever you mention the music videos, and how well they’re edited. that’s their work! and! you’re praising it!
they don’t question you when you deny your love for nightcord, only smiling as you continue to gush about it.
though, they’re absolutely awestruck by you, when they find you singing kimi no yoru wo kure in your room.
they feel like crying; you’re singing beautifully, and a song that’s dear to their heart, too. just when i thought i couldn’t love them more. they think to themselves.
giggling when you realize they’ve been there the whole time, they give you a hug; beyond grateful that you’re in their life.
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treausre-fiction · 1 day
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Fan Favorite; KHJ
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Y/N was a simple girl so to say . She had dreams just like any other girl in her 20s who enjoyed fangirling over different things whether that was the latest makeup release or her favorite KPOP group having a comeback , she lived a more simple life but still dreamed about her name being big in the stars . With a turn of events with a fan and celebrity line being crossed , Y/N finds herself in a 18 year long situation.
YBSFN = Your Best Friends Name
Chapter 4 ; Comfortable
(YBSFN) stretched out her body in her seat as she made various sounds that followed after .
“Oh that hit the spot , remind me to never drink shitty alcohol at a concert again” she cursed about .
You let out a small laugh remembering the 2 cups of alcohol she had at the concert that had been left in the sun becoming hot .
“ I’m gonna go take a quick smoke break in the parking lot” (YBSFN) said while pulling out the pack of small sticks from her bag and the pink lighter. She knew you hated the smell of cigarettes and the nicotine stick in general and always promised she would stop one day . A day that you had yet to see .
You paid the bill before walking outside to the parking lot and spotted (YBSFN) against the wall , a small light illuminated in her hand where she holds the cigarette between her fingers .
She takes a drag before releasing the smoke out her lungs . The smoke passes by your nose with its lingering smell and while in the past you would be upset , in this moment you didn’t care . (YBSFN) tone suddenly becomes serious as she begins to think deep into thought .
“You know ….” She taps the cigarette a little bit letting the ash fall like snowflakes in the winter , well at least that’s how the movies made it seem . Before she could continue, you see 3 familiar faces turn the corner . Wooyoung , Yunho and Hongjoong. They stop for a moment to stare at you guys before continuing to make their way over .
You can’t remember exactly how you guys all started talking , maybe it was from you being star struck or Hongjoong having no shame to stare at you but here you were talking to 3 members of your favorite group.
“You need a light ?” (YBSFN) asked . Confused you look around to see who she’s talking to because you didn’t smoke and they didn’t .
Well at least what you thought
For a second there’s a silence between the 5 of you before you see wooyoung pull a pack from his back pocket . You control the shock that wanted to take over your face . You didn’t care if they smoked , I mean at the end of the day they’re grown adults but it almost felt like you were invading someone’s privacy . (YBSFN) always could tell who smoked though so you weren’t too surprised she knew .
(YBSFN) walked closer to light the stick in his mouth before returning to the original spot she was in and continued to talk. To be quite honest you felt kinda awkward. (YBSFN) had always been good at talking to others and being social , something you felt you lacked especially when talking to boys . Sometimes you were jealous and wish you could be like her too. The 4 of them continued to chat while you kinda made yourself a background character almost .
“Not much of a talker huh” you heard someone say breaking your thoughts . Looking up you’re met with Hongjoong showcasing that beautiful smile of his . You could hear your heartbeat through your ears from how fast it was pacing .
God he was beautiful
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aviangrian · 2 days
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
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#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡
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seilon · 8 months
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been having an overwhelming on and off feeling of dread all day over the thought of opening my email or getting a text or whatever and it’s Yet Another job rejection. like good god that’d fucking kill me
#I’m so tired of this dude#like I was pretty confident about this but. idk I’ve been turned down so many fucking times now and places have gotten my hopes up#just to let me down every single time and I just can’t help but feel like rejection is inevitable. cause im always rejected#note: I have been applying for jobs since January and have gotten exactly two (2) interviews that whole time.#kibumblabs#it’s only been a day but. idk#I am not going to be able to truly rest until I know the outcome despite how much I am dreading the possible outcome#and I don’t feel good reassuring myself and telllng myself it went well because that’d just be setting me up for a bigger letdown#man I wish they just gave me some kind of assurance on the spot#I think it isn’t helping that I’ve been super isolated recently#only one of my friends irl has been talking to me the last two weeks or so#and I know it’s realistically probably because school started but. idk no texts or anything#considering how things have gone this year overall mainly re: my ex and what he tells people I just feel like it’d be on brand at this#point for them to all want to stop associating with me and cut me off like my ex did and one of my close childhood friends did this year#I really don’t trust anyone anymore and I wish I could but when things are dead silent for a week or more it becomes kinda impossible#I wonder if any of them will talk to me voluntarily any time soon#I am not confident#lots of waiting lots of being alone lots of nothing
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crossbackpoke-check · 2 years
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hiii! just wanted to pop into your asks to say thank you so much for always leaving such lovely comments on my artwork! i just love reading through the tags you write for them, it makes my day. please never change! 💓 i loved seeing the ideas you had for the devil!nico/jack drawing i posted, they were SO adorable ( OH and the demon squishmallow is named dante, like dante’s inferno )! again, thank you for being so sweet!
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no YOU thank you so much for creating such wonderful artwork!!! it’s an absolute joy to get to see it, i’m so glad you choose to share it with us 💕💕💕💕 thank you so so much and it makes me so happy to hear that you like my tags 🥺🥰☺️ ALSO!! that’s so cute 😭😭 i love that the devil squishmallow is named dante it’s alliteration and clever
#i can promise i will continue to be an enormous fan of you & your art#not even kidding!!! i can’t believe this!!! did you feel me working up the courage to talk to you!!!!#me about to come into your dms like ‘hi i just needed to say i literally HAVE NOT stopped thinking about your devil!nico i love him so much’#‘it’s been a week & yesterday i went ‘ok but nico’s pointed nails r like. natural stilettos they r PERFECT for nail polish :) demon spa day’#that’s cosmic FATE baybe 🥰🥰🥰 same brain same brain same brain (the brain is love & appreciation)#liv in the replies#anyway. guess who just looked up squishmallows & was like haha what if there’s a jack russell terrier one for jack and GUESS WHAT#there’s not but there IS a little black cat exclusive 500 edition squishmallow named jack who has the cutest little 😌 face &#‘can be a little feisty but he loves to cuddle’ i’m on the floor wheezing of all the squishmallows to be named jack. it’s a little black cat#(notably a *spooky* animal witch familiar which. jack summoned a demon) & it’s exclusive & has a pale pink nose/mouth he’s DELICATE & PRETTY#QUINN IS A KANGAROO I REPEAT QUINN IS A PEACH KANGAROO INTROVERT quinn eldest daughter kangaroo pouch thesis… macropods#luke is a little lamb 🥺 i would have said a puppy but he’s literally the baby the 8’’ version comes w/a rattle HE’S PART OF THE BABY SQUAD#have i devolved into looking up hockey players as squishmallows? YES BECAUSE THERE’S ONE NAMED JOELLE & IT’S BIGFOOT LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#joelle is part of the sassy squad and i am slowly losing it because there is also a winter joelle AND an aus winter joelle#which is exclusive to australia & i did think about the line where joel goes ‘cool have you ever seen a koala’ to raff & wheeze laugh softly#laying my head down on my desk &weeping verbatim from the site connor the cow is at the finish line waiting 4u! connor is quite the athlete#plus serge(i) the skeleton bird… sid the snail… stevie the cactus… nathan gamer cat mackinnon… i’m having too much fun#i don’t NEED squishmallows but also the desire to buy dante just because of devil!nico has been slowly growing stronger#also me: but what if u reread the inferno so u can pick out a title for the fic u are(n’t) going to write & use that as the demon structure#oh editing also 2 say: if u didn’t want me to publish this i can take it down! i do Not know how to answer asks privately even after years
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the-trans-dragon · 2 years
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How do I ask for a raise and also how much of a raise is appropriate
#I make $14 an hour but minimum wage is $7.25 but I DO live in one of the poorest areas of America#however other similar jobs in my area pay $15-25#I’ve been here almost a year#also I’ve been doing so much shit outside of my job duties. I’m not even talking about learning the other departments or helping them.#I mean like. floor machine repair. training new employees. training the goddamn reps for shits sake#I think a $1.00 isn’t too much to ask for and honestly I think $2.00 isn’t either. but#found out that a co worker who’s been at my job for SEVEN years and knows the goddamn store by HEART is only making 50c more than me#I guess they are a cashier and I’m a warehouse worker so for some reason it’s fair#I would give them a 25% raise at LEAST if I was in charge though#idk :/ I don’t wanna piss of my bosses lol. I have been doing badly about being on time lately too#but that’s cos health stuff so it’s not like I DONT care#and it doesn’t negate the fact that i do so much more than I’m supposed to do for $14 an hour#so far my strategy is: stop doing all the little stressful shit that no one notices anyways#it’s been so fun to do that for the past few days#I just watch a problem grow and grow and grow until it’s a big problem and then management deals with it#which I hate because management is also underpaid. but. so am I. and it’s not my job to take care of another department’s hazardous waste.#or to answer the phone for other departments. or to train reps. or care about the floor machine getting clogged.#i ignore problems now and then they get too big to ignore#and they take WAY more effort to fix than if I had taken care of them to start with#but goddamn we are so understaffed. I’m already being 2-3 people. I can’t be a manager too. as much as I’ve been trying to help. I gotta#stop because no one notices and I don’t get paid for that shit#sorenhoots#but I wanna take care of the stuff 3: I just need to get paid for it
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steviescrystals · 1 month
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one more rant about my layoff in the tags and then i’ll shut up i promise
#my mom is telling me to apply for unemployment and i’m so overwhelmed even thinking abt it#the guy from payroll who so nicely told me about the layoff sent me a link for it like that’s the natural next step#but like i’m not planning on staying unemployed for more than like a week i’m planning on applying for another job in a few days#so i feel like it’s not even worth it but at the same time i do need money bc the timing of this was terrible#BUT idk if i’m even eligible for unemployment bc i have a second job#i’m on demand there so i only work like once every couple months but it’s still a job so i’m not technically unemployed yk#and i was going through the eligibility requirements online and i can’t find anything related to that one way or the other#i want to just say fuck it and not worry about it#but is that stupid bc i currently only have like one job in mind to apply for and i don’t even know if they’re hiring yet#i feel like i’m being dumb and picky bc i’m still in college so it’s not like it’s a career thing i just need a job for now#preferably retail bc that’s what i’ve always done and i’m extremely opposed to the idea of a serving job#anyway it shouldn’t really matter that much bc it’s gonna be temporary#but i’m not the type to change jobs often (i’ve only ever had 2 and they’re the one i got laid off from and the one i’m still on demand at)#so wherever i end up working i’m planning on staying for at least a couple years so i want it to be something i at least somewhat enjoy#it just sucks so much having to go through this whole process#bc i was planning on staying at this last job until i finished school and possibly longer#and now i don’t have that option bc they let me go with no warning and no explanation#and i loved that job so i’ve been extremely depressed ever since i got the call#which just makes the whole unemployment/applying for new jobs thing so much harder#and i wish i could stop whining about it but it’s literally all i can think about i’m just! so unhappy rn!#vent#lj.txt
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galariangengar · 7 months
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I am doing horribly mentally tonight and my jaw hurts 😢
#I’ve been really anxious most of the day and it started with receiving another weird email from Facebook about a recovery code#I’ve been ruminating about that all day and been kinda freaking out if my account is gonna get hacked or something#and I’ve been thinking more about deactivating my facebook account or deleting it or something#I’m stressed about a bunch of things relating to future school shit and possibly getting a part time job on top of everything I’m dealing w/#i can’t stop overthinking and ruminating and I’m stuck in a rabbit hole of thoughts and I hate being like this#I’m crying now and my jaw fucking hurts and I hate everything#also the professor for my pharmacology class sent a message to everyone a little bit ago#saying she’s noticed some ‘suspicious activity’ with proctorio recordings of us from our first quiz#and basically saying to make sure we show our desk/workspace to the camera before taking quizzes and exams#and giving everyone a warning that if anyone is flagged for sus behavior/she’ll make them take a new test with new questions#I mean I know I didn’t cheat and kept my eyes on my computer and won’t be doing anything that’ll flag me#but I’ve never had a professor for an online class be this fucking strict with proctorio for quizzes/exams#I’ve never had to flip my whole ass laptop to show a strict ass professor my desk/workspace to prove I’m not cheating before#I also work and will take quizzes/exams in my dad’s office which has his computers (but he turns them off after he’s done with work)#so like is this bitch gonna yell at me cuz I’m in my dad’s office that has 2 computers in the room?? is she gonna be that strict??#I need to calm down somehow… I’ll probably distract myself with YouTube and play some splatoon#jazz uses curse! 💜
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lennythereviewer · 10 months
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My favorite Kingdom Hearts fact is that one of the biggest plot-holes that Nomura has never been able to meaningfully retcon or write his way out, a plot-hole so big that it fundamentally breaks the very rules the series is written on...
Is the existence of Steamboat Willie
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Let me explain for the uninitiated:
In Kingdom Hearts 2, there’s a small detour in the story involving Maleficent trying to invade Disney Castle, the home of King Mickey. She can’t step foot in the castle due to an artefact of pure light that wards off darkness locked in the basement.
Pete, who is working for Maleficent, opens a door into the past (Before Disney Castle, this land was known as Timeless River) and decides to remove the artifact from it’s place in time so it won’t be there to stop them from getting in.
Sora, Donald, and Goofy chase Pete into the past thanks to another magic door provided by Merlin, and through some shenanigans involving old cartoons and teaming up with Pete’s past-self, they lock the door the villains are using, and return the artefact to it’s proper place so it can exist in the present.
You with me so far? Pretty straightforward-ish time-travel plot right?
Here’s where it goes off the rails.
Time travel would go on to become a staple of Kingdom Hearts going forward and would come with a very strict set of rules over how it operates:
1. You can only travel to a point in time where a version of yourself exists
2. You basically give up your body to do so, and travel as a disembodied soul unless you have a vessel to inhabit
3. You can’t alter the past in a meaningful way, what’s going to happen will happen
4. You lose your memories of said trip once you return, but your actions could leave a lingering instinct on your other self that could influence their decisions
“Wait” you may be thinking “Why should anyone go through all those hoops? Wasn’t time travel super simple that first time?”
And you’d be totally right, because the existence of Timeless River completely renders all of these rules and restrictions meaningless. 
There is no version of Sora that existed in Timeless River before he step foot there, everyone kept their bodies, the trio and Pete were able to mess with the timeline as freely as they pleased, and they all very much remember their trip. 
Nomura has never been able to meaningfully explain this super simple, easy way of time travel and the more convoluted method co-existing other than a cheap-throwaway line from one of the villains saying that Merlin “broke the rules” 
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The hilarious part about this line is that it implies that PETE of all characters is actually more powerful than the actual villain of the series, because Pete opened a door into Timeless River through sheer willpower and nostalgia for “the good old days”
But the all-knowing chess-master of a villain who had an evil plan several decades in the making with countless moving parts and contingencies to account for had to use the roundabout, more complicated method of time travel where a lot could go wrong.
Pete though? Dude just casually broke all the rules of time travel because he felt like it. He's just built different.
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TL;DR: Steamboat Willie breaks Kingdom Hearts lore in half, Pete is more powerful than Master Xehanort, and I fucking love this beautiful trainwreck of a series you guys it means so much to me
I love Kingdom hearts so much.
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purple-dahlias · 8 months
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being back at uni already appears to have taken a toll on my mental health (just booked myself a piercing for saturday)
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