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#i know im slow but im also rly sleepy ;-;
videostak · 8 months
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OK now i know why ppl dont drive stick... soooo fkn scary today for realll. i mean idk its just hoorrifying . i wanna learn and like nothings changed i just need to practice more but driving to the mall today was soo scary honestly tho the most horrifying thing was me having trouble getting my rear view mirros right LOL like i was scared for my life when i noticed i pulled to the side and went in a parking lot to fix them to the best of my ability. i think its good now but even aside from that eveyrhint is so scary ._. also was at the mall for like 3 hrs cause the ppl i was sellign the stuff to were like “honestly the longest itll take us to look thru your stuff will be like at most an hour we’ll text u when we’re done” then like 2 hrs went by and i asked them and they were like “ohhh yaa we totally forgot abt yours uhhh we’ll do it rn” -_- so i was rly there for a long time and ran out of things to do and was sleepy n shit. im so sleepy rn but have to pick up my sister in a hour or so T-T either way i learned i dont think im quite ready to go thru big streets yet n stufff i still need lots of practice was def like the fight for my life there anyways literally jam packed exhausting day today just got home and only get like an hour of relaxing before having to drive again! soooo sleepy i mean i think i could do it soon i just have to rly practice and not get nervous n stuff the fact they had me standing there for three hours rly made me tired and made the drive home real nerve wracking. deff lots of practice  i need to do n stuff but like all things considered i did well. looked it up and u can go from neutral to 2nd if the car hasnt slowed down enough to be in first so thats neat to kno hopefully thatll save me lol. like thats what i was messing up w/ but like idk i did it and survived! lol. i think only 1 guy honked at me when the car rocked a bit but i think he just did that cause he was like wtf dude lol. or cause i didnt shift into 2nd quick enough so he wanted me to go faster. tho like yaaa also greaet finds today for average prices at book off got get yer ya yas out on CD :D and singular adventures of style council fuuuuck yea. they werent there last time i went so they mustve just been put out and both great things i really have been looking for literally just listened to ya yas on yt the other day ive rly been in a stones mick taylor mood lately
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i-live-on-bunny-hill · 9 months
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hello online diary
today was pretty okay!
woke up and it was done. guess that was his answer to sunday. if he left me over something as trivial as that AND without communicating, then its obvious that going through with any kind of talk or even any kind of relationship with him would’ve been pointless.
anyways, i have to give oscar medicine 2 times a day now. one of them i mix with his food and the other i have you syringe into his mouth. poor baby, it probably tastes soo bad. i’m really happy though because he’s back to his old self c: i missed his sweet affection.
i also ordered a wig today. It is long and purple and curly. i think its rly cute but i think it might look weird on me. its ok tho it was rlly cheap esp how its made out of silk! usually those are like 100+ dolars! and i got it for like 23 bucks! yayyyyy
i was suppose to go thrifting with isaiah and adrian dis week but idek wat day we’re goin i need to follow up w him on that. its so funny seeing him listen to and explore new music but i am like a proud mom.
i also trained my kitties with the clicker and made them practice wearing the harnesses. otto already knows how to sit!!!! hes such a good and smart boy. oscar is a little slow, but hes still very cute and calm ^_^ . oscar doesnt know how to walk in his harness yet. he can only walk backwards. its sooo funny and cute. otto can but he does a weird cute little crawl while he walks. i am so excited for when ill be able to take them on walks. i can tell oscar is so curious about going outside already and it will be sooo cute to have both of them on a walk together.
somtimes i wish i looked like a boy so it would be funny when i made certain jokes. since im a girl i feel like men take the jokes too seriously. its not really fair.
i’m sleepy. i washed mt face and brushed my teeth again today💪. i almost didnt cause i was sooo tired.
oh yea today i ate lots of cheese puffs and i also ate chinese food and an egg and cheese omelette. the cheese puffs are really yummy and they have a rabbit mascot so its like im suppose to eat them.
im hungry rigjt now tho i should sleep soon Ur not really suppose toeat after 8pm apparently. Like it make u gain weight or something idk. Oh yea i needa start exercising again and going to the gym. my weight is soo high rn its so embarassing and it messes with my self confidence
oh yea after the vet yesterday we went to petco and everyone loved oscar and thought he was sooo cute. and he is so cute! they thought he was a girl though cause of his pink collar.
ohhh im so freaking hungry
ok umm goodnight for now unless i wnt to write some more
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carcinized · 2 years
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hello tobeloved it has been too long since i have sent you a long ramble-y ask so i have decided to simply pop in here and see what happens :) am tired and the brain is a little slow so maybe i will write uou an essay or maybe it will just be a little hi ily :)
how was uour day :0 today was. not great for me sadly but it is okay bc after this week i have april break thank god and my family may do a little easter/holi celebration this weekend which! yay! i love holi :) colors n fun n stuff
OH MY GOD WAIT could we make a version of that on the (web) osmp. where everyone just throws dye at each other. cuz canonically i was gonna have moss be a Blue Enthusiast as a tribute to ghostbur so like.,,, what if-
i rly like this idea time to go drop it in the discord eheh
yeah. holi good :) and also that means we will hopefully watch one of my favorite movies bc there is a rather iconic scene of them celebrating holi :) idek why i like the movie so much and i actually disagree with some of it (though maybe that's the aromantic part of me speaking? hsjfhgjbj) but. yea. yeh jawani hai diwani :D good movie :D makes me v happy
mmmmmmmmmmmsleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy...,,, should probably sleep now but. do not want to >:0
my friend talked to another friend abt stuff today im proud of them <3 now i just have to get them to fix their relationship with their parents and/or trust their therapist enough for me to give the job to the professionals :') its okay tho we're vibing
old best friend sent me a google form that was like "how well do you know my childhood" n i forgot some things or just didn't know some thing abt her and she was like "wow you did even worse than [her current best friend]" and that kinda hurt a bit? idk??
i have a blue beanie and i wore it to a movie night at my friend's house the other day and it made me happy cuz it was like nice n felt comfortable and then my friend stole it and i was even happier. love them sm fr <3
mmmmm look we have a lovely little essay :D i am sleepy but i hope u are doing well and i will talk to uou soon beloved :D
oh also here 🌷 is for u <3
gn beloved ily a lot and am v happy uou are my friend
once my friend asked me who my top 5 best friends were and i was like "you, [other irl friend], uhhh- my friend allyster, and my friend turquoise" and that was a bit of a moment. i need a better irl social life ahah but also uou are a good friend and ily :D <3
(slight nsfw warning asghdfj)
my other friend was talking to us abt stuff with her girlfriend and she was like "okay so here's the thing. how do you know if you're a virgin if you're a lesbian? cuz for straight people it's just that you put a dick inside a pussy but you cant put a pussy inside a pussy" and then my other friend was like "pussyception" and i was lowkey dying and also a bit flustered. so. that happened o///o
mmm fun little anecdote. yea. not sure if youre uncomfy w stuff like that if so sorry ! efbfgjfjgdj
mr cellophane from chicago,,,,, legit gonna cry its so. ewrhrwjefjgwjehf <////3
yea okay. that's all i think. gn beloved i hope tomorrow is good and so is the rest of the week and i am sending uou a warm hug <3
HIII THIS TOOK ME A SEC TO ANSWER SORRY!!! but yeah it has been :O welcome back to my inbox i spose :]]
its been a long day but not the worst, kind of exhausted rn but i'll survive. and YOU GET AN APRIL BREAK HELLO???? that sounds so nice wtf O-o. but yeah some holidays this weekend!! my family only does easter but from what i know of holi it is SOOOO COOL!!! colors :]
OOOOH IF YOU ORGANIZE THAT I'LL FIX MY MOD FOLDER AND ACTUALLY SIGN ON LMAO THAT SOUNDS SO FUN!!! i doubt i'll have much time this weekend (booked w family on saturday and sunday) but i have no school on friday so :eyes: though i think me and my mom are gonna watch jesus christ superstar sometime this week for easter so,, i dunno BUT I WILL TRY TO MAKE IT IF YOU DO o7
i watched a trailer of the movie and it seems super cool!!!! it looks like such a funky little 2000s movie, i think i can tell from the description of the movie why your aromanticism might disagree w some of it tho </3 in any case i hope you get to watch it and that you enjoy :D
THATS SO GOOD OMG!!!! im so happy about that good on your friend!! and yeah, baby steps though, hopefully they get there soon. thats rlly good news though im so glad to hear it <33
aw damn </3 thats such a shitty thing to comment on tho like.. idk man. its a low blow tho try not to take it too close to heart ig, its not a competition + why did she send it to you anyway + thats rude + youre literally an amazing friend and you pick up on tiny things i dont even realize im saying + fuck her + ratio
awww that sounds so nice :] beanies and friends and movie nights!!! :D
a little essay i much enjoyed it!!!! we should vc again sometime for sure, i miss hanging out w you :] thank you for the flower here is one for you 🌻 :D <33
I COME BEFORE SKYY??? HVJHBDJBJD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH IM NEVER LETTING HER FORGET THIS (kidding kidding KIDDING. in all seriousness though AWWW :(( i love you sm king youre so cool <33)
HELLO???? thats so funny omg 😭😭 (and youre all good i think sex is funny im like a 12 year old)
MR CELLOPHANE :(( that song is so :(((
it is tomorrow now (or the day after?) this took me a hot second to respond to sorry, but hello i hope youre well, goodnight probably its later there IDK anyways love you bestie <33 always good to hear from you <33
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gimbapchefs · 3 years
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savage love but yoongi version
cr. @calicooky
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yyuuna · 3 years
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perfect
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—in which todoroki takes his sick s/o somewhere
pairing: s. todoroki x reader
genre: fluff
disclaimer: lowercase intended
a/n: sorry if im posting old oneshot drafts,, im sick and i cant rly focus on writing n stuff but i do have an idea for a new headcanon so hopefully next post will be that
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Love...
It has so many context; so many stories told, so many beliefs spread, so many talk about it.
But only a few found it.
[I found a love for me.]
The sound of the knocking interrupted [name]'s thoughts. Her heartbeat arose when a dual-haired man entered her sight.
"Hey." he said, ambling down the narrow space towards her. Her smile graced the dull atmosphere in the room, even managing to slightly uplift the corner of his lips.
"Hey...Did you guys have fun tonight?" [name] asked.
"Yeah. Uraraka also wanted to know how are you. I said you're okay...Are you feeling well?" A soft hand—specifically his left side—settled atop her own as he sits down on the bed beside her, making the cushion on that spot dip from his presence.
"Yup," she confirmed. "Just a headache. But I'm fine, really."
"Are you sure? I can get us soba right now if you want."
"It's okay, I'm already full anyway."
They went utterly still while exchanging gazes; it was the type of silence that was purely comfortable. Both didn't doubt that they'd hear a feather fall. Shouto and [name] were simply enjoying each other's company.
[Oh darling, just dive right in and follow my lead.]
Frankly, it was broken the moment she felt a faint tug on her delicate hand.
"[name], I want to go somewhere with you tonight." She just stared at him, barely noticing how long she peered at him with her brows furrowed.
"Eh?" Normally, people don't take their significant other to a date at two in the morning right after announcing that their head aches.
"Sorry. Do you want me to rest with you here instead?"
"No no no, I was just surprised." A hearty chuckle came out of her. "You're usually already sleepy at this time, but it seems important so I'll come."
[Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet.]
Shouto took ahold of her wrists, gently helping her to get on her feet. Fragile and frail; her body wobbled for a bit. What was left of her cumulated strength gave her the balance she needed, however.
Letting her beauty captivate him once again, he internally praised his lover. Perhaps it was the red string of fate that weaved both of them together. Although he wasn't so sure about that. Something tells him that even if they're not destined together, he would've still been drawn to [name].
[Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.]
White, loose dress covered her figure. Once she was fully upright, Shouto carefully pulled the tubes that covered her arms. His hand reached the paper bag that contained a change of clothes and a pair of shoes, and handed it to her. She gratefully accepted after saying a short thanks.
Well, back then, she used to daydream of the person who she'll shower with all her affection. Whispers of imagination satisfying her fantasies. It was her only desire after finding out how many years she has left to live.
Nine years have passed and never did [name] expect that she'd finally find him; pain from waiting suddenly vanished from her. Maybe even the very little chance of researchers developing a cure slipped out of her mind too.
['Cause we were just kids when we fell in love.]
The day she entered U.A. was memorable, of course. Since that's the start of their journey. A quest that they knew would end too soon, but accepted nonetheless.
[Not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time.]
They stride down the hallways to the exit, not letting the chattering disturb their own peaceful minds. And after they arrived at their destination, [name] stepped out of the car.
Oaks laid below her feet, their hue complimenting the pavement. Grass dangled in one direction as well as her [h/c] tresses.
Splendor sky had stars scattered all over it, leaning down to the grounds of the earth. The glistening of her eyes forestalled his anticipation. As she stared up above, the vague scent of fire entered aloft her nostrils. At the corner of her eyes, she could see the crackling of the flames.
The heterochromatic eyed lad glanced at the spaces between her fingers and interlocked his hand with hers, guiding her further into the garden.
"It's so pretty here, Shouto."
"I know." Though his eyes never left her. It annoyed him a little because it wasn't him who she was staring at. Eventually, his ego got the best of him as his fingers tilted her chin to face him.
Closer and closer...
Those frail lips of hers that lacks warmth brushed his own. He would've noticed the frigidity instantly if it wasn't for the heated flush that seeped onto his cheeks.
[But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own.]
Unblinking eyes met as they slowly pulled apart. The after effects invited them to do it once again, but it was declined when he circled his arms around her petite waist, while she contrarily wrapped both arms around his shoulder—leaving them embracing one another close by, afraid of letting go. Moving their feet sedately in chorus, silently wishing that one can live an eternity.
[And in your eyes, you're holding mine. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms.]
Fingers splayed on his back. [name]'s humming causing a gentle vibration to form where they connect. He soaked in the soft melodies, savoring each note, for they seem to speak to him too.
[Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song.]
A full minute passes before she shuffled away from him.
"Sorry, I don't exactly look presentable right now."
[When you said you looked a mess,]
For a moment, she thought Shouto disregarded it, not until he murmured something.
[I whispered underneath my breath.]
Everything about [name] seems to elate. And that realization of what good relishing the years she has left brings hit her.
[But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.]
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tags; @mayukhii @innersooya
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kiribakuficrecs · 4 years
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What are the longest fics you’ve read?
my usual go to is one shots or like 6 chapter stories, but off the top of my head here are some of the longer fics i remember reading and loving!!!
quote love unquote by newamsterdam (135,781 words)
Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”
“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.
“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”
When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.
- after i read this one, i was thinking about it for literally MONTHS. everything about it is really good, the pace is great, the characters are all well written and in character and interesting, and finding songs that apply to them in this story was really fun for me bc yeah lol. also i’m a sucker for fake dating read this if u haven’t already pls
roses are red and they taste like shit by unbreakable_red_riot (47,846 words)
Katsuki was really fucking sick of the smell of flowers.
- this is one of those fics i binged read from the second i laid down in bed, until like 5 in the morning because i couldn’t put it down and really wanted to know what happened. if i remember correctly i may have teared up at some cute parts in this one (but that very well could have been bc of how sleepy i was lol)
a heart swelled to bursting by eggstasy (49,644 words)
The summer training camp of Bakugou's second year at UA descends upon him with all the untamed fury of- well, himself, honestly.
PACKING CHECKLIST: ✓boyfriend (need to figure out how much he's willing to let him get away with) ✓people who claim to be his friends (deluded and in need of correction) ✓ptsd (that he absolutely doesn't actually have) ✓a healthy dose of denial (say it five times fast and that means it's true, right)
- this is one of (if not the very first?) kiribaku fics i ever read. it’s one of those fics that made me like them even more bc the fic was really good. this ones kind of a classic read that u may have read already but yk just incase
the beauty of a beast by starofjems (101,655 words)
Once upon a time a lonely beast lived in a manor deep in the forest. He dreamed of the day his true love appeared to break his curse... When a beauty finally appears in his life, it is not quite as he imagined. For who could have thought a beauty would be more of a beast.
Or
The beauty and the beast AU nobody asked for but here it is.
- ok this is coming from someone who literally hasn’t even watched the movie beauty and the beast, but i LOVED this story. i read it specifically bc i was told it was rly good n it was n its pretty lengthy so more content heck yeah
tonight, we’re at sea by idratherhaveyou (60,715 words)
Kirishima goes to a quiet seaside town to take care of his grandmother after she has a bad fall. There he meets Bakugou Katsuki and falls in love.
- good old fashion slow burn and good hurt/comfort content. this fic made me feel alot, another one of those ‘im reading this before bed but i cant sleep til i know how this ends’ stories for me
engraved in your mind by hejter (245,387 words)
Bakugou Katsuki lost his ability to recognize faces, so he didn’t know any of the people who stared at him, but he knew what dread looks like when he sees it, and as he looked around the crowd, every single person had exactly that written all over their face.
He looked down at the guy who was still on the ground, part of his uniform’s shirt burnt, his wounded face covered by his hands and his hair smoking slightly.
Katsuki glanced at his hands and finally realized something.
or
Kacchan is still a stubborn prick while suffering from face blindness. Also, quirk discrimination is a thing.
alternatively-
New quirk, who dis
- the concept of this one was so interesting to me, i hadn’t found a fic like this before n its so well written n interesting it does not disappoint. this one is a wip!
of ghosts and other inaccurate things by chezka (56,540 words)
A week before the sports festival found Bakugou walking back home in the late afternoon, sunset light making his scowl even more menacing and drawing a long shadow right in front of him.
Someone was walking by his side.
There was no second shadow on the floor beside his own to confirm this, but if he kept his focus on the street ahead and carefully avoided trying to look to his left, he could consistently make out black hair swishing in the wind and strong arms leading to hands sunk in pants’ pockets. The edges were blurry, but there was definitely someone at his side.
- i LOVE the writing in this one, and the plot is so good like this story line *chefs kiss* most of these stories i read when i should have been sleeping but had to keep reading to find out what happens next (this one is included) this one hurt but like in a good way ITS SO GOOD n rly interesting highly recommend
currently i’m reading a fic thats 600k+ words long and i’ve never done THAT before its wild. (not krbk tho before u ask) but i hope u like the list, sorry i didn’t have more!!
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jihyosforehead · 4 years
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soulmate au where the world is black and white until you fall in love with your soulmate for mihyun please im begging u authornim
THANK U FOR THIS !!! this was v fun to write and i almost got carried away and u have been so so patient im sorry this is so late, i dont even rly have an excuse its just due to who i am as a person 
...
also on ao3
dahyun doesn’t think much of it at first. barely even notices the difference anyway because mina’s hair has always been so dark. 
dahyun’s world had been black and white all her life, she didn’t notice when it had begun to change. 
first, it was mina’s hair. 
it’s pretty impossible to not be looking at mina’s hair all hours of the day, if she’s being honest. 
dahyun watches a row behind in their advanced algorithms lecture. their professor had been going over some data structural problems and was enthusiastically expanding more in-depth about splay trees. or it might have been splay trees. dahyun had zoned out about ten minutes into the lecture. out of her peripheral, she can vaguely see notifications lighting up her phone, every 3 minutes or so. normally she would have picked it up by now and replied to chaeyoung’s snapchat spam and meme-tagging spree.
but, she’s completely distracted by mina’s slender, graceful fingers lazily twirling strands of silky dark hair, head slightly tilted and pen absentmindedly tapping at her chin. probably going over the equations in her head, running them back and forth easily. she’s always been so smart and consistently at the top of their class. mina’s wearing a fitted white sweater that hugs her shoulders just the way dahyun likes and wire-rimmed glasses, sitting almost carelessly at the end of her nose. she still manages to look so soft though. dahyun exhales deeply.
the change was subtle. she almost doesn’t register the way the fluorescent lighting dances on the crown of mina’s head. bending the light back and forth until mina’s hair flashes a colour that’s neither black or white. 
her eyes flicker back to the screen when the lecture slides change over, displaying a long sequence of diagrams lining the wall. she should really be paying more attention, she was barely scraping in this class. her eyes involuntarily wander back to mina again. the lighting plays on mina’s hair, making it almost shine a dark brown? dahyun blinks a few times and forces her eyes to focus. it’s a tone just barely lighter than black. the light plays over it again and dahyun squints.
she’s jolted out of her reverie when their teacher claps their hands and wishes them a good rest of their day. while students move around her, some rising from their seats to bolt out the door, others packing away their things at a more relaxed pace; dahyun removes her glasses and presses the heels of her palms into closed eyes. she really needs to spend less time in front of a screen.
odd, dahyun thinks when she steps into the sunny hallway, feeling the heat tickle her skin. had it always been so bright? 
it’s two thirteen. and mina’s late. a highly unusual occurrence. 
dahyun taps at her phone and scrolls through her recent messages. there’s none from mina. she glances around at the courtyard. some students were casually sprawled on the grass, laughing at each other, or eating. others had laptops open, typing furiously at their keyboards. 
her phone begins vibrating in her hands and she fumbles hastily, trying to answer it. mina’s voice is soft and gentle in her ear; apologising for running late but she had run into a lecturer she needed to speak with and then another friend for a quick chat but was now on her way with some food and a powerbank for dahyun’s dying phone. dahyun pictures mina speed walking down the hallways, her voice growing more breathless the longer she talks. pictures silky black hair trailing behind her, tucking her bag more securely across her shoulders while dodging passing students. 
she can’t really bring herself to be annoyed when mina looks so adorably sheepish and apologetic while handing dahyun a homemade lunch. it was neatly packaged in a shiny metal lunchbox. today it was a chicken sandwich, with grapes and pear and apple slices on the side. there was even a bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice, lemon slices cheerfully floating on the top. dahyun feels her heart hammer wildly in her chest.
mina’s always doing cute things like bringing her food while they study because she knows dahyun cuts it close between her classes and doesn’t have time for anything other than a protein bar. sometimes an apple she snags on her way out of her apartment. dahyun would probably be surviving on fruit and protein bars if not for mina. 
mina hands her a tissue and then flashes her a wide, bright grin right before typing something into her calculator, eyebrows furrowed. dahyun carefully sets down her sandwich and dabs the corner of her mouth. the sunlight is reflecting off her laptop and into her eyes. she looks up for a moment and watches as the light weaves itself into mina’s hair, setting it alight into a copper blaze. dahyun blinks, dumbfounded. 
she tilts her head slightly and watches the light move from strand to strand. she moves her head back and forth and side to side, the copper follows when mina adjusts her position. dark hair, with shadows? different shades of black strands? was that even possible? it did look a lot richer, flecked with dark brown and golds. 
dahyun blinks again and chalks it up to a trick of the light. mina gives dahyun a soft, fond smile, her eyes slightly squinting, right before returning to her work. her fingers clacking away at her keyboard and then occasionally scribbling at an open notebook. 
it was mina’s eyes next. they were a steady, solid black, that dahyun loves. sparkly and shiny and expressive. bright when she’s excited and duller when she’s sad. 
over the next month or two, far too slow for anyone but dahyun to notice, mina’s eyes acquire the same richer colour as her hair. almost the same shade of lighter black, but not black. it wasn’t just black anymore though. her irises were a warm, shiny dark brown and the pupils, black. they dilate slightly when mina looks up at her. but there isn't an overt difference. 
dahyun thinks likes this colour more. 
...
it was a coat next. 
dahyun had fallen asleep on her notes. she jolts awake and blearily blinks at her surroundings, sleep still weighing heavily on her eyelids. she swats a paper stuck to her cheek and is met with amused, fond eyes. she sits up and realises she’s covered in mina’s thick coat. dahyun blinks down at the heavy material and just stares. 
the fabric is beige on the outside, a tan sort of colour that errs more white than it does brown; but the inside of the coat is lined with a subtle tartan pattern. most notably, there’s red stitching. red. dahyun runs her fingers over the checked print design and blinks dumbly at it. she thinks she’s still coming out of her sleepy haze, but five minutes later when she looks down at the coat again, the stitching is so obviously more than black and white. red lines woven through pattern, sticking out like the obvious thing in the world. mina is happily typing away at her laptop, completely oblivious to dahyun’s realisation.
then it was a sunflower she’d spotted sticking out of chaeyoung’s backpack. a bright, happy, obnoxiously yellow sunflower. loud and cheerful. dahyun had seen sunflowers before, but only ever in light grey. sometimes white. sometimes even black. she was so entranced by it that chaeyoung insisted she keep it. dahyun picks it up and holds it to her chest until she was safely in her apartment. 
that night, she set it in a transparent glass vase on her countertop so she could look at it everyday. 
she learns that sunflowers have a pale green, almost yellow centre. that the colours grow into a gradient of orange and black seeds, surrounded by full yellow leaves. the petals have this faint orange that looks like it’s been carefully, painstakingly painted on each individual leaf. 
the next day, on her way to class she spots a rose growing on a bush. it was a striking deep red, a stark contrast to its vibrant green stem. she sticks it in the vase with her sunflower.
dahyun came home everyday, and stared at her sunflower and her rose over dinner, and wondered who they were for. could they see colours this bright? did they know yellow and red looked this pretty? that sunflowers had oranges painted on the petals? 
mina had gone back home to japan over the christmas holidays to spend some time with her family. she hadn’t seen them in over a year, it made sense for her to go home. but. mina is also one of dahyun’s favourite people; it was perfectly natural to miss her. however, dahyun misses her a lot more than she anticipated. her days seemed to be a lot more empty and dull. 
dahyun finds it difficult not to miss warm brown eyes, and mina’s pretty smile. she misses having lunch with mina after class. she misses turning up unannounced at the other girl’s dorm and planting herself on the couch for an afternoon nap. she misses their dumb, playful arguyments over what take-out they should get for movie night; that almost always end up with mina asleep on dahyun’s shoulder, fifteen minutes into pressing play. 
luckily, there was so much else to see. the bushes growing on the edges of her apartment grounds were a deep green, lush leaves sticking out of thin, woody brown twigs. sometimes there were ladybugs on the leaves. dahyun hadn’t realised their shells were red with tiny black dots. one time she even saw a bee sitting on a flower. she didn’t think she would ever be this delighted over discovering that bees had yellow and black stripes. her downstairs neighbour had a golden retriever. and her fur was as gold as the sun, with a pink lolling tongue and sweet, honey brown eyes. 
the new colours could keep her occupied for so long though. 
the sunflower and rose had long died. leaving only the petals behind. they’d drifted onto her wooden countertop, with the flowers blackened and dead. dahyun missed their colours too. 
who were they for? 
sometimes mina would facetime her while she was out and hold up plushies and toys she thinks dahyun would like. the plushies, were big and colourful but dahyun can’t help but think they look dull next to mina’s flushed cheeks. other times, mina would send her photos of the scenery and her food. dahyun can’t help but wonder what they’d look like in person. 
she finds that she doesn’t ever really stop thinking about mina. it’s starting to become a bit of a problem. 
most of all, she just misses mina. a weird ache in her chest that she doesn’t realise is there, just deepens. 
two weeks later finds dahyun nervously pacing the airport lobby. airport crowds never fail to make her uneasy. but honestly, she’d do anything for mina. 
she spots her from a distance, heart thudding loudly. she feels her pulse quicken, hammering obnoxiously in her eardrums, like clanging cymbals together. the most irritating percussion she’s ever experienced; she’s half convinced that everyone around her can hear it. mina was wearing an oversized sweater, her lips stained rose red. a maroon sweater, with gold stitching on the sleeves wrapping around her wrists. dahyun’s breath catches in her throat. she swallows hard around a lump of clear understanding. 
oh. 
mina. it had always been mina. 
dahyun watches as mina’s head cranes around, carefully searching the crowd. her eyes find dahyun’s, as they always do, and dahyun can feel the fondness wrap around her heart and take firm hold. the ache in her chest deepens, like a dam breaking. the crowd seems to part when mina runs towards her and throws herself at dahyun’s torso, not caring at all about dahyun’s heart, beating wildly out of control. mina’s arms wrap around dahyun’s neck and she buries her face in dahyun’s shoulder, nuzzling into the fabric. dahyun can smell mina’s shampoo, clean and fresh.
they just stand there for a moment, swaying a little as dahyun adjusts her hold around a slender waist, fingers finding its home at the small of her back. she keeps a palm resting there and brings her other hand to the back of mina’s head, massaging the base of mina’s skull. she can feel mina huffing a relieved sigh into the side of her neck, the tip of her nose is cold against her skin.   
she hears mina whisper that she missed her and asks if dahyun had been waiting long. dahyun barely hears it over the almost immediate snap of vivid colour encompassing them. the blues, and oranges and greens and pinks colouring the airport scene and moving outwards. dahyun’s world had transformed completely. 
everything suddenly made sense, slotting itself perfectly in place. 
it was beautiful and bright and brilliant. but dahyun hadn’t noticed it at first because she only had eyes for mina. like always.
mina, whose hair was a deep chestnut brown, with flecks of copper and bronze when the light hits it in the right spots. she must have dyed it while she was away because the gold has disappeared now. mina’s lipstick, red and rich, she can see the ridges where it’s redder in some areas, and more faded in others. mina’s sweater, maroon with gold stitching. mina’s earrings, a deep emerald green, flecked with golden marbling, and wrapped inside a delicate gold circle. 
dahyun blinks rapidly at the change, taking it all in. slowly, the colours swirl around them as everything gradually finds its place. her eyes wander up and down mina’s face and hair and clothes and nose (had the mole on the corner of her mouth always been a dark brown?), finally landing on mina’s eyes. dark brown and sparkly. honey and gold and cinnamon and chestnut and dusky all at once. had mina’s eyes always had those colours? 
mina looks at her softly. fondly. like she always has. the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiles and mina’s eyes shine even more brightly when the light bounces off them. 
then the colours didn’t really seem to matter anymore. dahyun studies mina’s features closely, glances at the moles that dot her nose and decides that without mina, what did it matter if there was colour or not. without mina, dahyun’s world may as well have remained black and white.
for mina, it was distinct. 
absolute certainty. 
the very first time she ever laid eyes on dahyun, her whole world burst into a million different colors all at once.
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shytiff · 3 years
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Jan 2021 Wins
ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨
1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.
2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)
3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo
4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom
5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.
6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 
7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.
8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut
9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo
10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule
11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw
12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah
13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay
14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically
15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.
16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 
17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30
18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks
19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.
20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm
21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm
22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.
23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)
24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 
25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi
26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce
27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever
28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept
29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara
30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick
31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-
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sakurachae · 6 years
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20 questions game!!
Rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.
I was tagged by @nubebe and @hyungkyunnie!! thank u guys ilysm
name: james
nicknames: none HAHHA just call me james
height: 148cm!! also “149cm to 150cm”?? kei ur so relatable 
orientation: bi :D
nationality: myanmar
favorite fruit: strawberries cherries and guava 
favorite season: i don’t rly have one :o singapore doesn’t have seasons so 
favorite flower: baby’s breath!! it smells so nice hello 
favorite scent: fried chicken lmao,, also the smell of rain 
favorite color: blue, black, red, pink, yellow
favorite animal: turtles,, they’re so. slow and earnest. 
coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot chocolate for the taste and coffee bc i am Always sleepy 
average sleep hours: 3-5 hours on school days? probably like 8-10 hours on weekends lmao 
dog or cat person: cats but im scared of both
favorite fictional character: like every single character from the raven cycle
number of blankets you sleep with: 1 bc i dont like to feel inhibited 
dream trip: go back to london nd chill 
blog created: november last year! i only started liking mx around october and then i didn’t wanna spam my main so this was just gonna be like. a blog to reblog stuff but u know 
number of followers: a bit! 
random fact: i have a twin!! did yall know 
tagging: @ljh-94, @wonkihos, @milk-hooney, @pinkihyunnies, @limchangkyvns, @preciouschae , @emoroha (sorry if u’ve already done it ;; and no pressure!) 
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johnnydora · 6 years
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hi im not the biggest taylor swift fan BUT jake is so it gave me feelings and then this happened pls cry with me also shoutout to @mermaeids bc she’s the only taylor stan i follow and i got 99% of my info seeing her on my dash oops
okay so taylor dropped “look what you made me do” while jake was in prison and obvs amy plays it for him thru the phone and its rly quiet and awful quality but jakes LIVING for it and amy tries to relay all the media drama that came with the release bc she knows jake would want to keep up with everything
lets be real its probably one of the first things jake does when he gets home like obviously he has higher priorities first but,,, he definitely plays the single like 10 times in a row at like 1am and he’s definitely NOT CRYING okay
he cried
jake freaking out when the other singles dropped though and the “ready for it” MUSIC VIDEO listen he’s got this playing at the precinct he’s showing it to everyone even the perps like !!!!!!! its on mute oc because holt wasnt having it but its okay its fine jake already knows all of the lyrics and sound effects and he’s mumbling them under his breath
but okay here’s the kicker when the ALBUM drops you know our boi is gonna stay up to buy it immediately he’s pretty chill about it for most of the day but in the last hour he’s HYPED is incapable of thinking bout ANYTHING ELSE
amy just goes to sleep like listen her fiance (FIANCE!!) is adorable and she loves him but she cannot keep up with his enthusiasm
she wakes up like 2 seconds later when jake starts yelling and dancing around the apartment as soon as he hears the first note and like she knows sleeping was futile she’s prepared to now spend the next two hours dancing in the living room with him and its maybe a LITTLE cute okay but she trudges out of the bedroom very gloomily
“oh babe youre up!!! listen to this!!”
okay im not even kidding listen to me “dress” is jake’s favorite song i will FIGHT EVERYONE bc listen it has highkey peraltiago vibes but also a super hella vibe (and maybe it’s just my favorite song too but u cant prove anythin)
but LISTEN TO ME the peraltiago vibes bc most of taylor’s songs are badass don’t fuck with me songs and jake is YELLIN but my baby’s got a soft heart for the more romantic songs don’t even deny it and then to be dancing around goofily to lyrics that?? remind you of ur cute sleepy fiancee who’s sitting on the couch and laughing at you but looking at you with so much love okay bye
but the bEST PART ABOUT DRESS is that the line is,,, literally,,, “i only bought this dress so you could take it off” and listen jake’s just telling amy why he likes this song cuz it reminds him of her a little and then her teasing him about thAT LINE and listen im not saying jake literally buys himself a dress so amy can take it off but he definitely does that
and okay but AMY my precious this isnt her type of music yknow and she can appreciate jake loving the music and having fun with him but when the last song comes on,,,, “new years day” THIS SONG its cute and slow and lovey dovey and amy is digging it
like jake is suddenly not sure what to do because he can’t excitedly dance to this one but its okay amy is Overwhelmed bc this song ignites FEELINGS in you trust me and she’s jus thinking about how?? lucky she is?? to be listening to music at 2am in the morning and singing along and dancing (or at least watching jake do most of the latter)?? and she just?? loves him so much??
so she gets up from where she was curled up on the couch to kiss him and he’s like !!! bc unexpected and then they start slow dancing around their living room but like a giggly, sleep deprived slow dance with lots of stolen kisses
im not saying they dance to that song at their wedding but they dance to that song at their wedding okay bye
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a-sputnik · 6 years
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today i walked to the plant shop near me on impulse and got some new plants including a little air plant for my room. i listened to kelela on my walkman in hopes of kickstarting taurus season and my taurus moon. maybe get more consciously in touch with my feelings according to tab. looking forward to that
autumn is a stressful time for plants coz you have to manage sunlight, temp and water in different ways, but its also rly nice coz everything slows down and theres way less urgency like there is in spring. 
tomorrow im minding the gallery for 5 hours because alex has to take a few weeks off to process some stuff. i think im gonna watch moonlight for the first time and maybe bring a book to do some reading. 
this week ive been really productive with my writing, ive even got my research question somewhat finalized which is super exciting but also daunting coz i know that my work rate will have to pick up. 
very sleepy, looking forward to doing my washing in the morning and shopping in the evening. busy day. 
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Yongguk  - Dangerously Innocent ♥ [Part 5]
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Member: B.A.P’s Bang Yongguk
Pairing: MafiaLeader!Yongguk &  You
Genre: Angst-ish
Warnings: Swearing, Blood, Shooting and other Mafia stuff.
Words: 1,705
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Epilogue.
Yongguk.
She is right. We are behaving like we have been together for a long time. Her power over me scares the hell out of me but also gives me new strength to deal with this situation. Before Jongup and Daehyun brought her here I was bored out of my mind, another nameless girl in my bed each night just to distract me from the endless routine of dead people, gunshots, injured friends and loss. Money and drugs. Gang wars. Every day was the same until they brought Y/N into the house. Her innocence made me want to keep her safe and now I finally have the chance to do so. When I was little this was my father’s job.
He was the head of the Bang family and a well known gangster in the entire country. But his fame brought enemies and when I was just 18 years old he was killed cowardly by a traitor in our rows. After that I was expected to take over the family business and I did but it took years for me to grow into my position and during those years people, who were my father’s closest friend, left and our once so strong family name became forgotten. Nowadays we work in the shadows. The people who surround me are not my blood related family but they are like brothers to me and I trust them with my life. It has now been almost ten years and the surrounding mafia families just realized that we are back and are trying to stop us from rising to our former position. This is what happened when Y/N was pulled into all of this. The person who threatened her is a spy from one of the other gangs. He had been following Jongup – my most competent spy – for weeks now. Jongup had noticed in the beginning and told me about it but I told him to wait for the spy to grow confident. One day he would drop his guard and I had been right. He did. And when Jongup and Daehyun wanted to catch him he ran away, right into Y/N and pressed his fucking gun against her temple. It’s one of our main rules – never pull a bystander into it. And when Daehyun wanted to shoot him he must have moved. Or Y/N did. Daehyun is our best gunman – almost as good as me – and his family has been part of this for three generations. He is one of my two personal bodyguards along with Youngjae. I hate to have them with me all the time but I know it is necessary to keep me and this family alive. After my father had died, our numbers had decreased to about 10 people.  It was only the six core people and 4 other members that are now retired and get generously paid by me. Many people tried to come back after they noticed we were rising again but I didn’t let them. They are traitors in my eyes and don’t deserve to be in our rows. With them we would be at around 45 people but without them we are at only 30 members and every now and then people come over and try to join us but only few of them make it through the complicated entering process. Only the elite can join this family and come face to face with me. When we were fewer people I would take care of this process but now my right hand – Zelo – does it. He might be young and sometimes he really is an idiot, but I trust him with my family. His father had been my father’s right hand and the same counts for our grandparents. He knows exactly what I expect from everyone and knows what to look for in the recruits. I finally reach the heavy doors of my office and everyone stands up as soon as I enter the room. Only the core is part of this meeting: Zelo, Youngjae, Jongup, Himchan, Daehyun and me. When I was young my father used to call himself and his core the B.A.P. The Best Absolute Perfect – the elite – and we chose to call ourselves the same in his memory. Everyone reported what had happened since the last few meeting but only one thing sparks my attention. Zelo reports that he has two promising recruits that might make it and brought promising resumes. Daehyun tells us that the people we took captive during the attempted attack are still not telling us anything and we discuss our next step when noise can be heard outside. I can hear a small “No…” It sounds hesitant and definitely comes from a female voice which sounds somewhat familiar to Y/Ns. The door opens and there she is, dressed in one of my comfortable burgundy sweatshirts covering her body down to the curve of her butt and I’m glad that the others only get to see her naked legs. As I look her up and down, first hungrily, something catches my attention and I look at her face to see tears pooling in her eyes and wet trails down her cheeks. Hiccups are escaping those soft, silky lips as she just stands there and stares at me. “I walked over to your room and, and, and I accidentally hit my ankle on something and now it’s bleeding again.”She hiccups through the entire speech and I look back at what had caught my attention – her bloody bandage. Himchan is the first one to move – even before me. He immediately becomes professional and guides her to my desk and lifts her on top of it, exposing more of her skin as my sweatshirt rises up her body. I look at the others who immediately move their gaze to the other side of the room and stand up to make my way over to her. I always forget that this is not her world and that she didn’t grow up with shot or stab wounds surrounding her. The worst thing she probably had while growing up was a broken arm or maybe even a broken rib. She whimpers as Himchan removes the blood-soaked bandage and reveals that one of her stitches must have cut into her flesh somehow. Himchan leaves to get his stuff and I lean against the table directly next to her upper body. “It’s alright. Himchan will fix it.” I tell her and turn her face towards mine and as I look into her eyes I can clearly see that she didn’t cry because she was in pain but because she didn’t know what was happening with her wound. Her hiccups could be heard in the quiet room every now and then. Himchan returned and pulled her stitched, noticing that he didn’t need to restitch it completely but that only the newly injured part needs new stitches. “I’m sorry about interrupting you.” She whispers and I just awkwardly lean in to kiss her temple. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. We are almost done either way.” Himchan looks over to me and informs me that she is done now and I help her down the table. The rest is now staring at us again and Y/N squirms because of the attention, trying to quickly make her way out of the room but I am actually not planning to let her go. “Nu-uh” I mumble and catch her around the waist, carefully lifting her into my arms. “Yongguk!” I hear Himchans angry voice to my left but my attention is now fully on the small, warm bundle in my arms. I carry her over to the rest and place her on my left leg, indicating for the others to continue talking but they just stare at us alienated. “I. . What is going on between y’all?“ Zelo just asks and Y/N covers her face with her hands but that doesn’t stop me from seeing her ears turning red. I moved slightly and removed the smile from my face. This is important and they need to know what is going on with her. “To be honest I don’t really know either. But she is now a part of us and I expect you all to treat her that way. Especially you two” I shifted my gaze to Daehyun and Youngjae “At least one of you will be with her at all time whenever she leaves. Being with us makes her a target.” They all nod and I know that everyone is curious about what this was. I ended the meeting about 30 minutes later and Y/N had grown sleepy in my arms and I carefully lift her up to carry her back into my room. Himchan just looks at me strictly but I ignore it and make my way down the dark corridors to my bedroom and lay the sleepy bundle in my arms on the covers. Her eyes flutter open and she stretches her arms. “Is the meeting over?” Her soft and sleepy voice makes me swallow. My body reacts to her on its own and I remove my pants and shirt, standing before her in only my boxers as her gaze wanders over my body painfully slow. I crawl under the blankets and feel the soft skin of her legs pressing against mine, seeking for warmth after being exposed to the cold air in my office without any fabric covering them. Her cold feet stretching out towards mine but only the tips of her toes can reach my ankles. I kiss her cold nose and she scrunches it in the cutest way possible. I move my hand up her thigh and rest it right under her butt, teasing it with the tip of my thumb. She giggles and looks at me with those bright, intelligent eyes that are now wide awake again. “You promised to continue” The taunting tone in her voice makes me smile and I push her over onto her back crawling over her, my hand now on her hip, pushing up the fabric of my sweatshirt on her body. Her naked skin on mine drove me almost crazy but I tell myself that I need to go slow. For her sake.
PLEASE REFRESH THE BLOG FOR PART 6 IM NEVER ON MY COMPUTER AND CAN'T RLY EDIT ON MOBILE, I REBLOGGED IT
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ofstaffs · 6 years
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rerek 2
rey rey immediately stepped away, a heartbroken expression taking over her already distraught features. derek clearly didn't trust them together. she didn't want him to be mad at her anymore. instead she backed up even more before stumbling towards where derek had gone, eventually finding him by the bar. "what did i do now?" she asked tiredly, still not able to look into his eyes.
Derek: It had nothing to do with trust or distrust and everything to do with the fact that even after proposing, even after promising his entire life to her, it still wasn't good enough - Rey had purposely kept their engagement from Steve and had acted like she was delivering both regretful and bad news when she'd told him. There were still feelings there, and it killed him that they were so obvious. He shook his head in response to Rey's question, arms crossed over his chest and not looking at her. "Are you in love with him?" he asked, voice distraught and confused, but not accusatory, more upset than blaming. "Because if you are, just get it out of the way now. Just tell me."
rey rey closed her eyes slowly then inhaled a slow, deep breath, letting it out as she managed to bring her exhausted eyes up to his own, though her hands were still clutching fearfully at the skirt of her dress. "no..." she whispered truthfully with an even tone. "are there still feelings there? yes. will i ever act on them? absolutely not. i didn't tell him because i didn't want to upset him on his wedding night, but that didn't go so well. anything else?" she raised one eyebrow then crossed her arms in return, trying to match his own firmness, though it was more adorable than anything.
rey joined the chat 26 hours ago
Derek: Ugh sorry we're figuring out how to get home
rey: haha its oka
rey: y
rey: ill be here
Derek: Derek wasn't sure he believed her, and he hated himself for it. It was just on the tip of his tongue to ask her - quite harshly, really - if Steve's /wife/ knew about their feelings for each other, but he swallowed the words down and sighed a hard breath out through his nose instead, ducking his head and taking more deep breaths to steady himself. He didn't want to fight. He was so tired of fighting. He couldn't comprehend what it must be like to love someone without complications. "Are you ready to go home?" he asked, voice matching the challenge that had been in Rey's. Apparently he hadn't quite gotten out of the clear; but at least he'd gotten away from talking about Steve.
rey rey just gave a single nod and tightened her sweater around herself before tilting her chin up then turning and walking away without waiting for him, trying her best to look defiant. but it wasn't really working. she stopped in place and looked around before ducking her head then quickly moving back to him, grasping onto his arm. "i-i don't know which way to go from here," she admitted sheepishly, voice lacking the stubbornness it'd contained before.
rey: ✍
rey: WHY DID THAT HAPPEN AGAIN JFC
Derek: Derek finished his beer and set his glass down then turned back to Rey-... Who seemed to have walked off without him. He rolled his eyes - if she was going to get defensive and irritated by his completely justifiable concern about her feelings for and relationship with another man, she was within her right to do that. But it didn't mean that he had to put up with it. He followed behind a ways, hesitantly approaching when she stopped. It surprised him when she took his arm, and he looked at her for a long quiet moment before continuing on, arm in arm with her down the road.
Derek: Lol no idea. It's funny
rey rey's stomach was still churning. it had been since the confrontation with ben and steve, and she knew it was all thanks to the exhilaration. she wrapped one arm around her front and continued to hold on tightly to his arm as they walked, though she was staring up at him sadly. they were well out of the meadow by the time she finally spoke up. "...i'm sorry i made you mad, derek... i promise i'll try to stop feeling this way about steve... i just want to make you happy," she murmured as if it were the most simple concept in the world then tucked her head against his arm and looked forward again.
Derek: Derek didn't mind silence. He was wondering what was going through Rey's mind the entire time, but he didn't much feel like talking, nevermind about everything that had happened, whether tonight or ever. "It's fine," he said passively, not really sounding like he meant it. "I just don't want to think about it anymore." He was going to put another ring on her finger and promise her his life, his whole world, and she couldn't even promise him her entire heart. Sighing, he turned them down another street in the direction of the apartments.
rey rey looked up swiftly again as she caught his tone, cheeks immediately paling. without even thinking about it, tears filled her eyes as her lip began to tremble, but she quickly faced away from him before he could see, even though she knew he'd probably find out anyway. still the nausea increased, especially due to his hollow, empty words. slowly, she stopped in place, letting her arm slip from his, as she turned her back to him completely, hand clasping over her mouth. she didn't know what would come out: a sob or sickness, so she just leaned over slightly and kept her hand over her mouth, hating the way they were acting.
Derek: Derek stopped when Rey did, brows furrowed as he watched her turn away and then curl into herself - he'd seen her fold in on herself when she was upset, but he felt that this had come on so quickly. He touched her arm as he stepped up next to her, surreptitiously pulling the pain as he looked at her face. Nausea swept through him, making him queasy for a minute. "What's wrong?"
Derek: I wish this fuxking thing notifications
rey rey glanced to the side just enough to see black running up his veins, and immediately pushed his hand off, shaking her head swiftly. "no..." she whined, not wanting him to do that for her. she deserved it. she'd made him unhappy and this was what she got for it. she stood up straight and moved in front of him, taking small gasps of breath. "i-i'm s-...." sick? sorry? "...s-scared of you leaving, don't leave, please..." she begged through her tears, holding her hand over her mouth again as she looked fearfully up into his eyes.
rey: on a computer it does
rey: it has sound notifications
rey: but i reply fast haha
Derek: "I'm scared of you leaving, too!" Derek pointed out with no small amount of irony and exasperation in his voice. "I'm scared of you cheating on me, I'm scared of you not being happy with me, I'm scared of you leaving me for him." His shoulders were rising and falling whxg as he spoke. "But that's what love is! That's what being with someone you care about is like! Constantly worrying that they're gonna find someone better than you, someone they deserve, because you want the best for them!" He ran both hands through his hair, looking just shy of pacing. "I'm not going anywhere! Jesus Christ, Rey. You think I'd give you my mother's ring and then leave because of shit with Steve? I'd never give him the satisfaction."
rey: yeet i hope this turns into fluff soon
Derek: It will
Derek: also
Derek: I am so so sleepy
Derek: *rapidly JFC were my she's even open when I typed that
Derek: EYES
Derek: FUCK ME
rey rey gasped sharply when he shouted, stumbling back immediately and clasping both hands over her mouth, as her jaw dropped. she just stared at him in disbelief as her tears continued to fall, stepping back again. what had happened to them? they'd been so happy in paris, and then suddenly... it seemed as if something had snapped. she'd never act on the extremely minor feelings she had for steve. derek had to know that. but obviously he didn't. "i'm sorry..." she sobbed helplessly and stumbled back yet again, not knowing what else she could do to make him not yell at her anymore. "p-please stop..."
rey: i hate timezones ugh
rey: ill be 3 hours ahead of you when you get back ;/
Derek: Ugh fuck that
rey: but ill stay up 4 u i promise
Derek: I'm so sorry I've been conking out so early. My mom fucking runs me ragged. I usually only walk like half a mile a day just in everyday life and we've done like 7, in shitty shoes, in the heat the past couple of days. I'm so wrecked.
rey: it's okay bb
rey: ill probs just re-read old rerek threads rip
Derek: He did stop, his chest rising and falling with the harshness of his breathing as he looked at her. He'd scared her, badly, and he hated himself for it. He just hadn't know how else to get out those feelings, to make her understand them. "I'm sorry," he mittered, turning to the curb and dropping down to sit, elbows on his knees and his head hung. He just wanted to be happy. He just wanted them to be happy.
rey as derek sat on the curb, rey felt a massive urge to make herself feel smaller than him, so she took a seat on the road where she had been standing and tucked her knees to her chest. she buried the lower half of her face in her kneecaps and stared down at the asphalt beneath her, crying silently to herself. she didn't want to be afraid... but when he yelled like that... nothing terrified her more. even snoke. even being alone on jakku for fifteen more years.
rey was timed out 12 hours ago
rey joined the chat 2 hours ago
Derek joined the chat 31 minutes ago
rey: rip they just arrested derek im so emo
Derek: womp
Derek: He looks so good in that scene tho
rey: he rly does
rey: the beard makes all the difference lbr
Derek: tru it makes him look so much older
rey: i love it
Derek: Derek hid his face in his hands; he didn't want to be angry about this anymore. He didn't want to feel frusrated with and upset at Rey, and he hated the way she seemed so scared of him, like she genuinely believed he would hurt her. He never would. He'd never raise a hand against her. He clenched his eyes shut as he took deep breaths to steady himself before he could get up and approach Rey, crouching down next to her and hesitantly, gently, touching her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, leaning in towards her. "I'm sorry I shouted. I'm just.... Frustrated. I want our relationship to be symmetrical and it doesn't feel that way, and that's hard for me to deal with. But I love you - more than anything, Rey - and nothing is going to change that. Ever."
rey rey couldn't help but duck away slightly when derek placed his hand on her shoulder, wincing softly, but took slow, deep breaths and wiped at her eyes then finally looked up into his, her worry evident. more tears fell as he spoke, and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion slightly. "you-you do...?" she whispered, tone genuinely surprised. she really was scared that he'd stopped loving her simply because of this stupid steve problem. something she couldn't help. she thought being honest about it would be better, that he'd help her get over him, but it had all backfired. "i-i love you s-so much... so much..."
Derek: "Of course I do," he said, a note of bemusement in his tone. As if something like this could just erase the entirety of their relationship, erase everything he loved so much about her. He found her left hand, holding it up between them. "I thought I made that clear when I made this particular promise." He cradled her face in his hand, looking into her eyes as he spoke. "I love you too. More than I think you realize." He wondered if she understand just how much proposing meant to him. "Can we go home now? I'm ready to just lay down with you."
rey rey's eyes drifted to her finger as more tears dripped down her cheeks, though she smiled shakily at the sight of the beautiful ring. then she met his eyes again and nodded. "y-yeah..." she whispered in agreement and wiped at her eyes again before taking his hands and standing slowly, still feeling somewhat off. "how about a massage?" she suggested with a small chuckle. the last one had just felt so darn good. "but this time i'll return the favor... i promise."
Derek: "Hey, there it is," Derek said warmly when she smiled, brushed over her cheek with the back of his thumb. "There you are." He kissed her forehead before helping her up, lacing their fingers together. "I'm more than happy to give you a massage," Derek said. "You deserve one. And I'd love one if you're up to it, but if you're not that's okay, too." He guided her by the hand around to his back, offering to give her a piggy back ride like he had after their first kiss.
rey "stop..." rey chuckled shyly when he commented on her smile, immediately turning her head away and biting her lip, though she was only smiling wider. he was too perfect. "of course i'm up for it," she replied and nodded, then giggled when he led her behind his back. she knew immediately what he was offering, so she laughed softly before carefully climbing onto his back, as if jumping would hurt him. "remember after the movie...? you gave me a ride home on your back," she chuckled, arms winding around his neck.
Derek: "As I recall," Derek said primly, "you loved it." He hooked his arms under her legs and bounced her a little so she'd move up his back into a more comfortable position. He started them back on the path home, not much of the walk remaining at that point. "You trust me?" he asked as they approached the staircase of the building that led up to their apartment.
rey "i did," rey admitted in a soft chuckle, hiding the lower half of her face in the back of his shoulder as she stared up at him. she let him readjust her on his back, complying willingly, and looked up again as they approached the staircase. her head quickly snapped towards him and she just paused before giggling nervously and holding onto him tighter. "always."
Derek: "Good. Take my hand." He held his right arm up, hand offered out to her. "And no matter what, don't let go, okay? And when I say so, just let go of everything else. Like you're jumping off. Got it?" Once her grip was sure, he gave her a, "Go!" and swung her around his body, landing her securely in his arms in a bridal carry.
rey rey quirked an eyebrow at him but slid her hand into his with a somewhat excited chuckle, keeping her grip tight. "okay..." she laughed nervously and raised her eyebrows before jumping off when he told her to, unsure of what to expect. but when she landed in his arms, she paused then began to laugh again, burying her face in her hands. "oh my goodness, that was so fun!"
Derek: Derek grinned, pleased that she'd enjoyed the little trick, and adjusted his arms slightly before heading up the stairs. "I thought you might like it," he said as they came to their landing and he fished out his keys.
rey "i always like when you carry me," rey giggled. it was true. she'd never get tired of it. when they approached the door, she turned her head to face it, but kept her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers combing through the hair at the nape of his neck.
Derek: "I noticed," Derek chuckled, carefully guided them through the door and making sure not to bump her into anything. He closed the door with his foot and carried her down the hall to their room, setting Rey down before climbing onto the bed next to her and laying on his side facing towards her.
rey rey turned her head forward again once they'd disappeared into the bedroom, smiling softly to herself. it smelled like his cologne. perfect. once he had laid her down, she kicked off her heels then curled up into a tight ball, the skirt of her dress curtaining over her legs. "you look so handsome..." she breathed out, reaching her fingers up to trace his cheekbone. "wow..."
Derek: "I look exactly the same way I did before I left for work," Derek chuckled, turning into her touch a little as he kept his eyes on hers. But he understood the sentiment - every time he went without seeing her for long, he always felt struck by how beautiful she was. "I've been looking forward to seeing you since I left."
rey rey shook her head, an adoring smile on her lips. "no... no, you always look this handsome," she whispered, dragging her thumb slowly over his lips and scooting closer as he spoke again. she smiled again and nodded her head, laying her hands in his own. "you're pretty much all of my impulse control, i think that's obvious by now... i can't get through one wedding without fighting with someone," she chuckled.
Derek: Derek hummed noncommittally as he puckered his lips just slightly, enough to press a semblance of a kiss to Rey's thumb. His arm wound around her waist, pulling her even closer until he could slip a leg between hers. "There... there was a lot going on. There's been a lot going on," he said, shrugging slightly. "You're stressed out. All that emotion's gotta come out somehow."
rey rey wrapped both of her legs around one of his and nodded in agreement, letting out a heavy sigh. "yeah..." she murmured, dragging a hand through her hair then resting it on top of her head as she closed her eyes. "yeah, i really am..." she'd never really stepped back and glanced at all her problems as a whole; always just focused on one at a time. but the list went on and on, now that she thought about it.
Derek: "We'll just... we'll find a better way for you to deal with it before it gets to that point," he said quietly, taking one of her hands and bringing it up to his mouth to gently kiss her knuckles. "At least there weren't any drink hoses involved this time," he chuckled, then laced their fingers together. "Have you, uh... have you thought about when? A date? For the wedding?"
rey rey smiled bashfully at his joke, holding his hand tightly, but easing up on her grip more and more as she relaxed. talking about the wedding made it even better. "i'm guessing tomorrow's out of the question," she teased, though she'd actually do it. she just wanted to be his wife as soon as possible. "when's the soonest we can do it? because i want to do it the day before that," she laughed softly.
Derek: Derek actually laughed out loud at that, smiling as he rolled onto his back, looking at the ceiling. "Tomorrow is out of the question," he said, "I don't think even Lydia would be able to get everything together in time." He pulled her hand over to play with her fingers. "Usually engagements are around six months long. It takes a lot of planning to put a wedding together..." He knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he felt it needed to be said.
rey rey felt her jaw drop. literally. /six months/? but immediately she froze, remembering the ridicule she faced the last time for trying to rush something. "o-okay," she choked out, trying not to sound as disappointed as she actually felt. she didn't need a big wedding. she didn't care if it was just them two and someone to officiate. she didn't care. she just wanted to be married to him. but she bit the inside of her cheek and rolled over onto her back, though she let him keep her hand. her left hand, ironically enough.
Derek: "I know it's a long time," Derek said, rolling back onto his side when he felt her roll away, still holding onto her hand and playing idly with the ring on her finger. "And I know you don't want to wait. At this point.... at this point I don't really see the point, either. So we could expedite things, I'm sure. I just want everything... to be perfect. To be exactly what we want. I'm only planning on doing this once."
rey rey looked up at him when he rolled back onto his side next to her, releasing her teeth from the inside of her cheek and instead biting her bottom lip gently. a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she took a deep inhale then mumbled, "i know you do... but... i've lived my whole life without luxury. fifteen of those twenty years were spent with even less than a normal amount of wealth. i don't care about how many flowers there are or-or what colors the plates will be... all i care about is being your wife." but she shook her head, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "but-but if you want to wait... i can do that."
Derek: "I know you haven't," Derek said gently. It had been a topic of considerable discussion, and it was almost constantly on his mind when it came to caring for Rey, whether it was making her comfortable or buying her things or making sure she ate enough in a day. "So I... you can't blame me for wanting to celebrate us to the greatest extent that anyone in this town has ever seen." He leaned in and kissed her gently, pouring as much love and sincerity into the gesture as he could. "But I know it's important to you. we could shoot for three months?"
rey rey sniffed softly but kissed him back lovingly, placing her hand on his cheek. at the suggestion of three months, she just let out a shaky exhale but shrugged her shoulders and rolled over onto her stomach. "take my dress off...?" she whispered, face burying into the pillow. it was tight and pinchy, as much as she loved it. plus she still wanted that massage.
Derek: He could tell that it still wasn't good enough - unless he actually married her within the month, he doubted anything would be. But he knew that these things took time - they might be able to manage two months, if Derek wanted to pay an exorbitant amount for everything. The food, the decorations, the cake, the venue, the dresses, the suits, the photographer, the music... it would all take time. He quietly worked on the small clasp at the top of Rey's dress, then unzipped it all the way down to her lower back, carefully guiding her arms out of the sleeves before he pulled it down her body and off her legs gingerly.
rey rey couldn't help herself as she curled her toes into the sheets when he unzipped her dress. occasionally his fingers would ghost over her back or thighs and her heart rate would increase. which she knew he'd pick up on. once it was off, she stayed face down, but slowly tilted her head up to look at him, brown eyes full of love and passion. the pendant of her necklace had somehow slipped down the chain so that it now laid on her back in the exact same position as his tattoo. the moonlight reflected off the silver material of it, and it slid down her shoulder blade as she shifted on the sheets. "...how is it done...?"
Derek: Derek hummed quietly when Rey turned to look at him, fingers gently touching the pendant of her necklace where it sat on her back, a delicate mimicry of his own mark there. "How is what done?" he asked quietly, fingers ghosting over her back and the backs of her thighs.
rey rey stared down at the comforter, hands slowly sliding up to clasp lightly above her head, resting on the pillow. like usual. like they loved. as his fingers trailed over her skin, she began panting lightly, toes curling up again. she took another few moments before finally whispering, "how do you turn someone into a werewolf...?"
Derek: Derek's brows furrowed, a little crease appearing between them as he looked at her, hands faltering for a moment before they resumed their path, thumbs rubbing into Rey's shoulders and down her back in looping circles. "Usually it's done with a bite," he said slowly, "but people can be turned by a scratch that goes deep enough, too."
rey rey swallowed thickly and clenched her jaw, eyes slowly falling shut. his touch was irresistibly enchanting. "and you can only be turned by an alpha..." she whispered, quirking a brow then slowly returning it to its usual spot. her words were becoming breathier, more quiet, as his fingers traveled more places around her body. "...can you turn someone...?"
Derek: "Right," Derek said, fingers curling around her sides to knead over her hips, her stomach, inching up towards her ribcage. "Not anymore," he said. "I was able to, once. I turned Erica, Isaac, and Boyd. They were my betas."
rey rey hesitated before rolling over to lay on her back, gently tugging him down to meet her level. she brushed her fingers across his lips before pausing then whispering, "you want me to be safe... to be able to look out for myself..." she moved her hand down to his and dragged it up her body, taking a bit more time at her chest, before resting it on her cheek. "being like you would keep me safe."
Derek: "Of course I do," Derek said quietly, then froze, frowning a little when Rey implied that... that what? She wanted to be turned? "What? No, Rey, it's not... it's /really/ not that simple," he said, sitting up a bit, confused by what she was doing. "It's so easy to lose control when you first shift," he explained, "you could seriously hurt someone. Hurt yourself. There are people, Rey, who /hunt us/. Just because of what we are. I don't want that for you. Ever."
rey rey shook her head, purposefully averting her gaze from his. she knew there were hunters. they were in magnolia. and three of them were her best friends. not like derek knew that. "i-i could protect myself. you've done it so far, why can't i?" she asked shakily, bringing her hands down to rest over her chest. "you-you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me on the full moon. you wouldn't have to panic each time i don't answer my phone when you're at work. i-i could heal, i could fight better."
Derek: "Because I've been doing this all my life," he said desperately, wishing he could remove the thoughts from her head surgically, completely eradicate them so they'd never appear again. "You can protect yourself right now." He rubbed his eyes. "I'd have to worry about /you/ hurting someone on the full moon!" He couldn't argue with the healing or the fighting, but he didn't want to acknowledge that. "I don't know if you'd still be able to use the Force after the shift."
rey "you told me scott became in control when he was around allison. she helped him stay calm," rey whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. "derek, it could work for us... i know it could..." she shook her head and bit her lip, letting out a heavy sigh. "i don't care if i can't use it anymore. i don't care. i don't care if i have to go against alec when he's hun-" uh oh. immediately rey clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes widening. "n-nothing..."
Derek: "That took him a while," he said, "and not everyone's anchor is the same thing." He shook his head lightly as she insisted that it could work. He didn't want this for her. He could do it for her in the first place, and he would refuse to tell her who could. His eyebrows lifted when Rey cut herself off, shaking his head again but this time for an entirely different reason. "I know Alec's a hunter," he said. "I met his sister before I met him, and she told me all about it. He told me that he doesn't hunt anything that doesn't deserve it. Including werewolves."
rey rey let out a deep breath of relief, able to snap back into her normal state of mind. at least she hadn't said dean or sam's name. she sat them both up then climbed into his lap, hair curtaining over her face as she panted heavier now. she didn't need derek's senses to tell that her heart was pounding. she could feel it against her chest. "i'm sorry..." she whispered at the ridiculousness of the whole idea. she wouldn't last a second as a werewolf. she knew that. "i-i'm not in my right mind..."
Derek: Derek sat up, hands on her waist as Rey settled into his lap, his head tipping to the side as he tried to look at her through her hair. He pushed it back behind her ears after a few moments, concern in his expression as he cradled her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, her heart pounding and her breathing coming rapid and shallow. "What's going on?"
rey too much. too much was going on. almost losing derek had just been what set it all off. but one thing... one thing had stuck with her. slowly, she tilted her head up to look into his eyes. "i spoke with lydia..." she whispered, eyebrows raising just slightly, though her fingers found his shirt to play with the material again. "she told me... she told me about your uncle... a-and i can't stop thinking about it..."
Derek: It felt like he'd swallowed a gallon of ice water when Rey said that she'd spoken to Lydia about Peter. Peter, of all people. He doubted Lydia took care to explain the nuances and difficulties of the situation. "What did she tell you?" he asked slowly, hands resting lightly on Rey's hips, as if afraid to touch her, afraid that she'd tell him not to touch her.
rey "she said... she said he controlled her... m-made her bring him back from the dead without her actually wanting to..." rey remembered, staring down at the sheets beneath them and furrowing her eyebrows, exterior softening as his hands rested on her hips. any time he touched her brought her comfort, but right now, she wanted to feel him as much as possible. "and that... she doesn't know where he is..."
Derek: "He did..." Derek said, uncertain as to whether or not Lydia had pointed out that Derek had been on the one to kill him in the first place. He was ready to justify it, to tell Rey that he'd been killing people and had no intention of stopping, but that didn't seem to be her concern. "And... no, we don't know where he is right now... Probably off licking his wounds after his last failed grab at power. But if he ever does find me, find us, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. He's not going to hurt you. I won't let him."
rey rey smiled sorrowfully, her eyes falling shut. "how do you always know what i'm thinking...?" she whispered. it felt selfish, being afraid of peter. because if he came, he'd only be out for derek. but after searching lydia's mind for memories of peter... she hadn't been able to get his vicious actions out of her mind. even now, looking into derek's memories, she saw him getting hit, getting hurt by his uncle, and it made her sick to her stomach to think of that ever happening again. she wouldn't let it. "i-i can fight him, he can't do anything against a lightsaber..."
Derek: "It's not going to come to that," Derek promised, wrapping his arms around her torso and pulling her against his chest, tucking her head under his chin. "It's not. I promise." He cradled the back of her head in one large hand, thumb stroking over her hair. "I'd never let you fight him, okay? He's too... manipulative, too willing to get into people's heads, under their skin. He'd find out all your weaknesses and use them against you, and I'd die before I let that happen."
rey rey let herself be coddled and soothed, resting both her arms against his chest. the air was cold, and she was fully unclothed, but derek's natural body heat kept her feeling warm and safe. as it always did. as he spoke about her weaknesses, she clenched her fists slightly in fear. she knew her main weakness: derek himself. if he was ever to be hurt, she couldn't fight and take that risk. and she was pretty sure it was the same way for him, too. "i-i don't want to talk about it anymore..." she whispered for the second time that night.
Derek: "Okay," Derek agreed easily, ducking his head to hide his face in her neck. He could tell she was scared - he didn't need her senses to know that - and he felt... nervous that he'd never considered the possibility that Peter could find them. Could ruin everything they'd built. "We don't have to." He rubbed his hand up and down her back, from the nape of her neck to the dip of her spine, reveling in the simple pleasure that he could touch her, that she was there... and she wasn't going anywhere.
rey rey nodded, feeling reassured by his gentle, steady tone. either he was good at hiding his emotions (which she knew to be true) or he really wasn't worried about his uncle. not daring to look into his mind again in fear of more memories of peter, rey simply glanced up and into his eyes, not knowing what else to say. so she did the only thing she really wanted to do. her hands slid up to tangle in his hair as she leaned up and kissed him, softly at first.
Derek: He kept her wrapped up in his arms as he kissed her, holding her as closely as possibly as her hands wound through his hair. He kissed her gently, reassuringly - trying to convey as much as possible that she didn't have anything to worry about, that he was going to protect her. He cradled her face in his hands, thumbs gently brushing over her cheeks as their kiss gradually deepened.
rey while he deepened the kiss, rey slowly leaned back more and more until she was laying flat on the bed, him hovering above her. she ran her hands down his back until her fingers found the hem of his shirt, which she tugged up and up until eventually it was off, then tossed it aside. her leg slowly moved to brush up his then back down as she nipped at his bottom lip then kissed him again.
Derek: Derek was reluctant to pull away from her for even a moment, but he sat up enough for her to pull off his shirt before stretching out over her again, resting his weight on one hand. The other he let smooth over her skin, over her stomach and up to her chest, his thumb ghosting circles over her nipple only just long enough to make it hard before his fingers were trailing downwards again.
rey when his fingers found her chest, rey tilted her chin up and gasped hoarsely, letting his lips land on her neck. she took a quick, deep breath then set her legs on either side of his body, though she brought them up so her feet were flat on the bed, toes curling into the sheets. but she brought her hands down to unbutton then slowly push down his pants and boxers at the same time. once they were off, she moved her hands up to clasp above her head, and found his lips again.
Derek: "We are going to have to get up eventually," Derek chided with a laugh, pushing back Rey's hair from her face as she rested on his chest, his fingers brushing up and down her spine. He didn't really want to move, either, but a shower and food were in order. "C'mon," he prompted, squeezing one of her hips gently and rocking his body back and forth in an attempt to get her moving. "Let's go."
rey "nooo..." rey groaned under her breath as derek said they'd have to get up. she turned so her cheek was resting against his chest, rather than burying her entire face in it, and winced silently when he squeezed her hip, one of her most ticklish areas. but she was shocked awake and opened her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips. she was so relaxed after they'd finished making love, and he'd just cuddled her for what felt like hours, though she knew it was only about twenty minutes or so. "fine," she sighed in defeat and moved off his chest, but held her arms up to him once he was standing, and giggled tiredly.
Derek: "Yesssss," Derek groaned right back at her, laughing a little when she didn't do much responding other than to move her face. "C'mon. If we don't get up now, we never will, you know that." He stretched, arms extending over his head and legs flexing and toes curling before he half-rolled, half-climbed off the bed. "Oh my god," he laughed when he saw her summoning him down to pick her up. Despite the complaint he still complied, bending over to let her arms around his neck as he lifted her up to hold her against his front. "You're so spoiled," he muttered as he carried her off to the bathroom, leaning over to start the shower without putting her down, instead pressing her up against the wall and letting his lips find her collarbone, already marked but still enticing.
rey "derek..." rey groaned but giggled when he picked her up, wrapping her arms around his neck. she loved being carried like this, no matter what. it allowed them to still be so close after intimate moments such as the one they just shared. "i know, but you're not gonna stop..." she mumbled against his skin as she closed her eyes again, chuckling softly. they were both sweaty and warm, so the shower would definitely feel good. but when he pressed her back against the wall, she lifted her head up with a quiet gasp, then let her eyes fall shut when his lips found her collarbone. the marks there weren't deep, but she'd need to cover them up with makeup tomorrow, she was sure of it. she winced softly, feeling the pit of her stomach tighten with ecstasy again, and took deep breaths, head falling back gently against the wall. "not again..." she whispered. she didn't know if she had it in her, really.
Derek: Derek hummed noncommittally into her skin when she teased him; he'd never stop spoiling her as long as he lived, he knew that with certainty, and apparently so did she. He couldn't blame her for taking advantage of it, especially when he loved it so much. "Wasn't gonna," he replied just as quietly into the skin of her throat, nose brushing along the softness of it, lips dragging a long line as his stubble scraped over it gently. His hands gripped her thighs, thumbs rubbing into the crease where they met her torso before sliding back to hold her up by her ass. "As much as I wish I could." He found her mouth again and kissed her until they were both out of breath, their skin warm and he could feel a heat low in his belly, that endless desire he always harbored for her. But he let her down, feet lightly stepping to the floor before he held his hand out to help her into the shower.
rey as his thumbs massaged into her skin, rey winced again and bit down on her lip, flexing her feet slightly as they rested against his back. again she breathed steadily until his hands moved to her behind, one of her favorite places where he touched her. she nodded in agreement then kissed him back, holding onto his hair gently, and felt that itching sensation creep up her body once she was on her feet. her legs pressed together tightly and she leaned over just a bit to recover, knowing how easy it was for her to become aroused. but then she took his hand and shuffled into the shower, letting the water cool her down both internally and externally. she stood so her back was pressed to his chest then slowly reached an arm up to loop around his neck, eyes closing and lips parting. "that's better..."
Derek: He could have touched her like this forever, no boundaries or secrets between them; he knew she got overwhelmed quickly, whether it was his hands or his mouth or any other part of him, and there were definitely times he played that to his advantage. But he let her recover once she had her feet on the ground, mouth trying (and failing) to quash a please little smirk behind her back. He sidled in behind her, hands smoothing down her sides and the fronts of her thighs, not intended to be sexual but celebratory, reveling in her and the fact that she was his. "I love you," he said quietly, head bowed to press his lips to her shoulder, light, worshiping. "I love you so much..."
rey a smile formed on her lips as she felt his hands travel down her hips to her thighs, and whispered, "i love you with all my heart..." it wasn't hard to, with how amazingly perfect he was. she still didn't feel like she deserved him, and probably never would. "it hurts less this time," she murmured, opening her eyes to look up at him. the first time had been pretty painful, even with how slow and gentle derek was, since it was her first time ever experiencing anything like that. since then, it'd hurt less and less after each run, and now it was just a slight disturbance. she gathered the washcloth and lathered it up with soap before turning her body to face his then handing it over so he could wash her, as they always did after making love.
Derek: "Good!" Derek replied earnestly, pressing his lips to her cheek and nuzzling at it with his nose after. He wrapped his arms around her middle and squeezed her gently. He'd nearly stopped then and there the first time, when he sensed her discomfort and uncertainty despite taking as much time as she needed. "Think it won't hurt at all soon?" he asked quietly. It was difficult to not feel bad whenever they had sex, feel like, despite what she said, she was uncomfortable or unhappy or they were only doing it because /he/ wanted to. He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he accepted the washcloth from her, tangling the fingers of one hand with hers as he held her arm out for him to start washing, working his way to her torso and over her chest before going on to the other arm.
rey "yeah, i do," rey smiled hopefully and gave him a nod, leaning up to peck his lips gently. she didn't need to use the force to feel the guilt stirring inside him. and she didn't like it one bit. she /wanted/ to do it, she really did, even through the pain. it was all worth it in the end, and she assumed derek didn't see that side of it. only the painful side. she stepped back just slightly so he could extend her arm to clean it, fingers dancing in his own, then watched his hand as the washcloth dragged from her shoulder to her abdomen and chest, where she had a few marks. she loved them. she watched again as he moved onto her other arm, but watched his face now instead. he was sculpted by gods, she was convinced. everything about him was so perfect. literally every little thing. "i love you..." she piped up quietly, standing on her toes for half a second before giving him a shy smile.
Derek: Derek's mouth twisted on a shy sort of smile when she said those words seemingly out of nowhere, and he ducked his head briefly, looking down at their feet before glancing back up at her. "I love you, too," he said, bringing one slightly soapy hand up to cradle her cheek, looking into her eyes as he said the words. "I can't believe you're going to marry me," he said, huffing out a chuckle as he smiled, all teeth and palpable awe. "I can't believe you're going to be Mrs. Hale." He rolled the words around on his tongue. "Rey Hale. Rey Skywalker-Hale?" He laughed a little, using the back of his hand to brush the washcloth over her stomach and hip.
rey rey laughed happily, nodding her head. she was still in shock, too, even though it had been well over a week. "just hale. i'm your family now, i don't want to be remembered just for my father and uncle and everyone else. i want to be my own person," she whispered, then smiled again. "your wife." she leaned up to peck his lips a few times then let him drag the washcloth over her stomach and waist, though she smiled a little each time his fingers brushed against her soft skin. she'd never get tired of his touch. never ever.
Derek: An easy smile tugged at Derek's lips as he leaned in close to her, pressing their lips together easily, briefly, a few times one right after the other. "It's your name just as much as it's theirs," Derek said, both hands touching her waist as he leaned in close enough to feel her breath on his face, her whisper so close that it felt loud in his ears. If they could stay this close forever, he'd die a happy man. "You are your own person, no matter what your name is." He could feel her smile against his lips as they kissed again, and he sighed contentedly when they parted, pulling her in close and resting his chin atop her head as he rubbed the washcloth over her back, and lower, to her thighs.
rey rey smiled softly and shrugged. "it's really only been my name for a few months... i've been fine being just rey before i knew. just rey..." she whispered when he leaned close to her, biting gently at her bottom lip. suddenly words weren't forming in her mind as easily, with how entrancing his gaze was. she nodded slowly, though, and kissed him back, though this one was soft and delicate. when he pulled her close, she rested her forearms against his chest and closed her eyes, though she frowned when he skipped a very important area. she took his free hand and placed it on her butt with a small giggle. "much better."
Derek: Derek's brows shot up when Rey placed his hand back on her ass, a little taken aback by the brazenness of it - a far cry from the woman who had been so uncomfortable with just being aroused a few months before. "Much better," he agreed, chuckling, and then gently passed the washcloth over her skin, humming into her neck as he pressed his face there, reveling in how comfortable it was being this close, enjoying the way they could touch each other so easily.
rey rey smiled slowly and wrinkled her nose just a bit before moving her hand up to the nape of his neck when he ducked his face into her skin, letting her eyes fall shut. slowly, her fingers ran through his hair, gently scratching his scalp in a soothing way as they went along. she remembered him saying long ago how much he loved when she did that. she turned her head just enough to press a gentle kiss to the side of his own, then rested her cheek against his hair and let out a soft sigh.
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toddcowardd · 7 years
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uhhh bj and anya and/or finnrey
Bj/Anya (Banya? Anj? Oliwicz? idk well figure this one out) 
proposes - BJ! its very unceremonious after they all get to America and have been fighting for a while, he does it like mid fight as they are hiding from panzerhund thats sniffing around the debris. Hes got no ring or anything but hes like “i love you sm Anya Oliwa would you do me the honor of being Anya Oliwa Blazkowicz” and Anya’s like “of course! but i dont think now is the time!” then when they get back to base its like “hey guys guuuessss what!”. They get married post war after they kill all the nazis.   
shops for groceries - they both go together! 
kills the spiders - bj!
comes home drunk at 3am - neither, they are basically the designated drivers. so they come home tired after dealing with everyones drunk asses (thats not to say they dont drink they are just the ones who stay the most sober)   
remembers to feed the fish - Wyatt, its his fish so its his responsibility 
initiates duets - both! Anya will start up upbeat poppy duets while Bj will start the slow jams ones
falls asleep first - Anya, she just curls up next to him and she out like a light
plans spontaneous trips - BJ, after years of fighting Nazis and seeing all that ugly bullshit, hes ready to see the nice parts of the world
wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Anya but, shes not demanding. Shes just like nudging BJ in her sleep and murmuring “William,,, can you make pancakes” “In the morning” “no nowww” and with a sigh BJ rolls outta bead and goes and makes her some pancakes
sends the other unsolicited nudes - BJ, Anya doesnt mind tho ;) (and will send her own sometimes) 
brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt - BJ!! Anya just sides eyes him whenever its brought up bc “William where did you even learn karate. Kicking and punching stuff randomly doesn’t count”
comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - BJ, after years of army rations and just rations in general, he rly appreciates sweet treats
blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - Anya
killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - they kill together, no bodies are hidden but they are looted for more armor and ammo
wears the least clothing around the house - BJ, walking around in his boxers and a t-shirt: Anya where did i put my throwin’ knifes? 
has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - BJ, HAVE YOU HEARD HIS INTERNAL MONOLOGUES??
Finnrey
proposes - rey! She force floats are ring to Finn with the biggest grin on his face. He accepts without hesitation! they marry on Ahch-to
shops for groceries - Finn, when rey goes shes just randomly grabs stuff shes never seen and its like “rey we dont need theses pls”
kills the spiders - They dont kill spiders, they pick them up and set them back outside
comes home drunk at 3am - They come home drunk together! then they drunk cuddle and drunk watch bad holodramas 
remembers to feed the fish - Rey, Finn feeds the space puffins with Luke
initiates duets - they start together in perfect sync
falls asleep first - Finn! 
plans spontaneous trips - Rey, theres a lot of green in the galaxy to see
wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Finn shakes rey awake and is like “im feeling pancakes babe, do you want any?” and rey nods a lil and finn’s like “okay well you gotta help me make them bc im super sleepy” 
sends the other unsolicited nudes - neither
brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt -  they both do and ghost Chirrut is just sorta,,, standing to the side shaking his head bc they are still learning to fight
comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - Rey! That girl is itching to try every food she can find
blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - They blow those kisses together at others
killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - they kill the troopers that attack them but they leave the bodies to rot bc fuck hiding them thats way too much work and they got more important shit to do
wears the least clothing around the house - they’re both walkin around their house in their underwear, they’re so fuckin comfortable around eachother! 
has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - they both do and different times of the day, sometimes finn just wraps her up in a big ol hug and tells her how much he loves her and sometimes rey brings him a whole bunch of plants and flowers she grew specially for him  and peppers his face with so many kisses !
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mo0nspell · 4 years
Text
funny
last night we talked for two hours and today we talked for like 10 minutes and im cackling hahahahahhaha its my fault kinda i shut him off
hey i kinda miss him giving me snippets of what he is doing but yknow this holiday serious lama lagi and i dont wanna burden him and me to the thought that we hv to like cam update everything huhu i like us now dia cam tak dreamy sangat and we r both v chill and tbh im just being careful because i almost broke my heart the other day sebab dia i just realized that im not in a place to force anything dah if he wants he can just come no commitments or anything i rly hope that we go out bfore holiday ends hehe oh and yeah im so chill about this im feeling weirded out by it like its so weird sometimes to not be worrying but thats what i want now last night i opened up to him srsly oh and also i feel like there's an unspoken thing between us macam if we have a long good convo the night before tomorrow tu u have to act like it never happened HAHAHA idk why tapi i tak kisah hehe oh and also uhm one day if we rly tell each other how we feel i think i have to say this i dont want a relationship i just want us to stay how we r now and we can only have a relationship when we r 20-21 because i dont want to rob his youth and time with his friends and i know he can understand that because tbh we both mean and want the same thing plus srsly we r still youngos huhu so yeup but i will always enjoy spending time with him no joke i think i dah faham dah our dynamic ni camne and im slowly understanding dia ni jenis camne gimme a little more time and i can predict his steps btw am listening to oh wonder and its so weirddddddddddd because somehow i remember all of their songs but i cannot remember the phase when i listen to them its like the memories that i bring with this song is just erased its so weirddddddddddd like i remember nothing other than the music no memories attached oh and u told him that im sleepy and i want to sleep but yea i watched gilmore girls played twitter and listen to music and then i feel like writing this so yeah already said goodnight to him. btw srsly i think i dah nampak dah our pattern. hehe bagus lah i just wanna take this slow oh btw i wanna tell him how i feel tau so that he knows and if anything happens its not because he doesnt know faham tak like if he knows... maybe he can understand that there is hope? huhu idk man all i know is yeah i just wanna go with the flow and not think too much about this :)
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gaykamukura · 6 years
Note
2-10, 15-20, 26-29, 31-33, 37, 45-48, 51, 52, 59, 60, 63, 67-73, 81, 97, 99, 100
puttin under a read more cause it got long snksnksnskn
2. Favourite protagonist?
i’m gunna be real, i like playing as hajime a lot plus theres some moments where he’s being ridiculous and you’re powerless to stop it so you’re just there, face in your hands, losing your shit snickering.
3. Favourite antagonistic character?
points at my url gently...i know i’m an izuru kinnie but i think he has a lot of nuance espec cause he can fit an antagonist role while still being generally neutral on the havoc he wreaks
4. Favourite character?
i’m very bad at choosing but taka was my first fave and the first character i ever grew attached to that was ripped from me so i’m gonna say taka
5. Best girl?
hina, sakura, ibuki, peko, miu!!! i think my “type” is the girls who are either super stoic or super energetic pffft
6. Best boy?
i already talked abt taka earlier so kazuichi and leon are my beloved weenies
7. Favourite class trial from all the games?
the last class trial in the first game where you as makoto get to earn the title ultimate hope and the mastermind is finally revealed after the 20+ hours of grief and struggle you’ve just been put through and you get that satisfying ending of the mastermind paying for their crimes and everyone getting to go free is just...so good and so climactic i adore it
8. Least favourite character?
if i was in a room and my choices were to delete hifumi yamada from existence and die or survive while having hifumi yamada remain in this world i would choose to sacrifice myself
9. Least favourite class trial?
probably the second one in the first game, because it had all the things i was upset with. the way the genocide jack/jill and toko situation was handled was awful even with it taken in consideration that the game usually uses very trope-y characters, and the whooole thing with chihiro is uncomfortable for the entire trial, and then it all ends with an execution where if you think about it too much it makes your stomach whirl
10. What would be your Ultimate Title?
hmmm something like ultimate tarot card reader or ultimate divination/psychic maybe!!!
15. Your absolute OTP?
oh god i ship everything...i like komahina a lot though even tho i have another handful of ships for hajime
16. Your absolute BROTP?
fuyuhiko and nagito obviously
17. Do you have an OT3? Which one?
none that i can think of rn even tho i’m definitely open to a lot of them...i support gundham dating both sonia and kazuichi while sonia and kazuichi are best friends tho
18. Favourite rare ship?
i’m rly fond of fuyuhiko/nekomaru [hikomaru???] and kamuegi
19. Who do you think is an underrated character?
i feel like toko doesn’t get nearly enough love oh my gosh...i see her dismissed as an accessory to byakuya or “the girl w the serial killer” so often and it makes me so upset...also mukuro generally gets outright ignored even though there’s a lot to her
20.  Who do you think is an overrated character?
i feel like i see a lot of stuff for mikan everywhere??? but i...don’t like her that much. her personality kinda feels like the same thing all the time, under the despair disease she feels like junko 2 electric boogaloo or tsumugi the squeakquel, and her execution was underwhelming. and she also killed ibuki, the best gal :(
26. Favourite execution?
oh god definitely leon’s. the first execution of the first game and it goes hard as hell. it’s one of the few if only times you see red blood in the game, he goes out kicking and screaming in a way that you have to feel sorry for him. it’s an unbelievable way to start off the game and really encapsulates all of the wild ride danganronpa is gonna put you in for.
27. Least favourite execution?
as i said before, mikan’s was...underwhelming. as the ultimate nurse who spent her life being a doormat only to kill out of love, there’s an amazing amount of executions and ideas that would have been full of nuance and really interesting but instead she just gets blasted into fucking orbit
28. Favourite unused execution?
oh god i love byakuya’s unused execution because it’s one of those executions that focuses less on the character’s talent and more on the character’s fear. when you realize what byakuya’s future could have been, pretty much complete estrangement from the family and having to build up everything on his own with the fear of poverty constantly looming.
plus the fact that he fights because he could have condemned his half-siblings to that fate only for he, himself, to lose in a killing game and die thinking he was a disgrace is so painful. not to mention the execution itself is a slow and painful death.
it’s so brutal, so focused on breaking every fear and effort of the character, that i think it’s one of those executions that would come to mind whenever you wanted a picture definition for “despair”.
29. Which character should survived in your opinion?
leon kuwata should have lived...he was talented but he was still a normal-ish boy who couldve kept everyone at their wits in the killing game by reminding them what was waiting for them out there. lots of others but i’ve been thinking of baseball husband lately
31. Is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived but did?
i love yasuhiro that weed smoking boy but he was too dumb to live
32. Least favourite protagonist?
uhhh hmmm i like all of them but kaede had the least screentime so she’s a protagonist where her personality isn’t 100% crystal-clear so. i GUESS
33. Character with the best clothing?
i want chiaki’s hoodie and backpack and LOOK more than i want to breathe oxygen. junko also has a fucking aesthetic
37. Favourite minor character? 
taichi fujisaki i guess??? programmer dad
45. Unpopular opinion?
i dunno what other people think of this because i haven’t heard anything about it, but the closing argument minigame was better in sdr1
46. Unpopular headcanon?
i think genocide jack/jill is nonbinary but i’ve never seen anybody else who has the same headcanon
47. A headcanon you have about a character?
one of my long-time headcanons is that makoto is trans...yeet
48. Favourite OST?
danganronpa 2 has bop after bop. miss monomi’s practice lesson? bop. all the execution themes? bops. ikoroshia and ekoroshia? bops. i am constantly jamming the fuck out in this game
51. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?
i thought i was always gonna hate hiyoko and yeah she does have flaws but i actually like her a lot more than i used to
52. Character you thought you would like but disliked in the end?
thought korekiyo was gonna be a cool dude who was a lil weird and emo but still fun. boy was i wrong. im stealing him from spiky chunky until they learn to stop it
59. Favourite moment?
again, the final trial in the first game is fucking amazing, but also the final trial in the second game with hajime and chiaki plus all the izuru stuff and all the messages there r just. good as hell aaah
60. Saddest moment?
all of chapter 2 in sdr2 was painful. mahiru, who was a force of good, dies, the trial is difficult, the twilight syndrome murder case is terrifying, hiyoko is mourning and you have to spit it right back in her face for awhile that she’s the prime suspect...
and then the only reward you get for finding the real killer is feeling guilty as the tears run and then your final reward is getting to watch as one of your friends dies while the other gets mortally injured and barely survives and then only a bit of gametime later attempts suicide in front of you. it is blow after blow w/o breaks
63. Describe Kyoko Kirigiri in 3 words! 
lovely detective lady
67. Which character would you never want to meet in real life?
hifumi because i would be wearing an anime tshirt cause im a fucking weeb and then he’d be an incel while i suffered just trying to buy a lifetime supply of panda candy from hot topic
68. Which character would you like to meet in real life?
kazuichi cause he seems p chill and like the type of person you could just hang out with or have a chat with casually and not have to worry about first impressions and stuff like that
69. Choose one character which you would take with you on a trip.
70. Character you would have a sleepover with?
chiaki because we’re both super sleepy but we could also play a bunch of games together and then pass out together with a bunch of snacks
71. Character you can relate to?
sorry to be kinnie on main but izuru, i relate to that feeling of always excelling at everything you do and as a result being constantly bored, so whether what happens is good or bad doesn’t matter so long as it’s interesting
72. Character you can relate to but you dislike them?
kokichi, again being kinnie on main but while i relate i dislike it because it’s a reminder of my tendency to lie to others and to myself for any number of purposes
73. Character who deserved better?
[sniffles softly] taka. also keebo. toko too tbh
81. Could you be the Ultimate Lucky Student? 
probably??? my luck varies from being unbelievably good and unbelievably bad so hey
97. Overrated ship which is your NOTP? 
toko/byakuya for sure. i don’t like the it(tm)
99. Your absolute NOTP?
junko being shipped with anyone but especially with the sdr2 cast because it is gross. let the sdr2 cast do the right thing and get to pull a knife on junko instead
100. Opinion on all the Protagonists!
makoto: a boy who has a mouth and must scream. he’s not having a good time but hes trying his best
hajime: a good, refined boy. he knows how to say and spell big words like antidisestablishmentarianism, or however that goddamn word is spelled. the most paranoid boy
komaru: a good gal, a lil anxious but very strong and ready to kick ass. a funky little lesbian
toko: a blessed gal who needs more appreciation. her time as a protagonist is extremely gay, meaning she is also a funky little lesbian.
kaede: she doesn’t have much screen time but i appreciate her. she’s nice to people and confident whereas everyone else in this series is nervous
shuichi: nervous and emo, shuichi truly represents teenage america in the years 2007-2012, possibly 2013. i adore him
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