#i know absolutely nothing about it im just seeing it all over my dash

[niko-jpeg]

MOOT APPRECIATION

@vessel-posts-stuff I know you haven't been on that account in years, but I still wanted to include you. Thank you for introducing me to Tumblr and allowing me to make such wonderful friends. I think of you quite often <3

@v1vz-arttt We're moots on your old account, and while you didn't refollow me (?), I still love you!!!!!! Thank you for everything my good friend :)

@adorablemew Mew!!! Oh my god hi we haven't talked in forever. How did I get someone so cool to be my moot? Your art is incredible, your creations are wonderful, and thank you so much for putting up with me back in my previous Undertale fixation. You inspired me greatly.

@psycho-chair BITES YOU. You have been an inspiration for me forever at this point and I thank you for being just!!! YOU!!!! We need to chat more fr fr. You helped me through a rough time, no matter if you were aware of it or not. Also good to see another Crepic shipper here on the front lines. Sorta unrelated but I'm so glad my secret little otp has gotten a little more traction. You keep being you buddy grrrhshjfskjdhfdkjjksjkh <33333

@glitchysquidd Another instance of HOLY hell how did I get such a cool art moot???? You're really cool. I go feral over your art, whether youre aware of it or not. I love your vibe, your aesthetic, your everthing. Its so cool. You're so cool. A.

@thosegoodbois We don't interact much these days, but I still think of our conversations often. I like how unabashedly you you are. Its refreshing and fun and I still enjoy scrolling through your posts and seeing you on my dash. Tee hee.

@skyedancer2006 Hi hi!!!! We met because of a Secret Santa, and I'm happy we're moots. I love seeing you guys on my dash, and I love seeing the positivity yall bring to it all. Keep it up, and if I referred to you incorrectly, I am so sorry ack.

@bean-with-a-knife grabs your shoulders and shakes you. You are so. the most ever. We've been besties forever, and I'm so happy to have you as a friend. You keep me going, and encourage me when I'm not so sure, and you put up with my bullshit, and I absolutely love you big ol platonic kiss for you. Thank you for everything you've done for me.

@naaru304 HI!!!!!! You're so cool. I know we don't really talk but I really really like seeing you on my dash and you reblog all of the best stuff. YOUR ART IS SO EDIBLE ACK. Its so round and clean and just. Stuffs in my mouth and shakes it around and giggles cutely. I love it.

@p3-mochishira HI!!!!! Vamp you are such a moot. I love your edits and I love your ocs and I love your whole vibe. You light up my day and I'm so happy that we're moots. Big ol hug sent your way!!!

@queen-ofsunflowers oh my god you are such a cool author. And we're moot what. WHAT. AAAA!!!!! I really look up to you, and MnM is such a treasure I hold close to my heart. I look forward to whatever is in the future, and I wish you nothing but the absolute best in this coming year.

@mmmn-thirsty-for-vinegar Yet another cool incredible mutual I don't know how I landed with. Your art? incredible. The posing and lighting is immaculate. I love all of your art so much, and you're a big old inspiration foundtain haha. <3

@yoshikass HI!!!!!!!! I love your reblogs. I love the variety. I love everything. Your blog's vibe is also so much fun. You keep being you <33

@dollar-store-emo-413 Your brain is fascinating. Congrats on your freedom from our hell, and I wish you luck on your future /lh!! (for context we went to the same school)

@snowdoesthings Man. It's been forever and a half huh. I'm happy we're still moots, and I'm happy that we still kind of brush shoulders sometimes. I'm sorry you had to deal with 2020 me haha. Love you <3

@dexxeal Im in the walls of the Miku chruch btw can you come let me out I'm stuck.

@mhafanlol2000 Happy new year and I wish I'd see you around on HKRP more often ahah! See you in the new year :)

@cordycepsbian You're so cool. Like wow. I love everything about what you post. Your humor is so on point and your art is so skrunkly I'm obsessed.

@vivasharme Its so nice to see you again!!! I missed you a lot while you were away. I hope you're feeling better, and I can't wait to get back to talking soon. I'm gonna blow up your dms hee hee >:) /j

@someguyiguess23 Your art!!!!! Its so awesome I'm eating it and framing it and just. Nom. I hold the art you did of Nago dear to my heart. Your art is so shape!!!!

@christiankirbo Poyo

@mantis-on-a-table I adore your art so much. I have so many cool art moots but I especially love what you've got going on. Its so high quality and tickles my brain in such a wonderful way!!! Happy New Year!!

@extreme-exe water (you're a really great friend, never forget that!)

@wintar0 Hi!!!! We dont talk much but you're a wonderful moot. Best of wishes for the new year, and I can't wait to see more of you and your creations!!!

@drallion No, not for Drallion, for his creator! You've been such a delight in HKRP, I'm so happy I get to know you. <3333

@rentavoider Hi hi hi have fun on your trip to Italy and see you next year!!!

@crownne-prince !!!! HI!!!!Thank you for being such an incredible and encouraging moot. You really cheer me up and I love seeing your posts on my dash. Akechi is in your walls fun fact.

@lemmykirby Your art is so cool. I love the style and I love how its executed and bottom line I just. runs away with your art tee hee

@jayjar100 YOU!!! YOU ARE SO COOL NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!! I loved drawing your baby forever ago, and I think about them constantly. In fact I have some extra doodles laying around that I probably should post haha.

@kotoneshiomiofficial You are so right. About everything. All of the time. You are correct and are the coolest trans fox girl I have ever met and I think you're awesome. Big ol heart for you <33333333

@finleyforevermore Hi Finnley. Thank you so much for everything. You are such a light, and a huge encouragement, and thank you for enjoying my HPII content (theres more cooking up trust me). You're a precious moot of mine, and I don't think I can ever describe how much I like your posts. And the fandoms we have in common? Incredible. UMTV, RTC, HPII, Sonic, etc. Like wow. I love it !!!!!! <3333

@i-do-not-exist-hun I LOVE YOU AND YOUR EVERYTHING ILL PROBABLY GO INSANE IN YOUR DMS LATER TELLING YOU EVERYTHING THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME BIG HUG

and finally @box-o. My darling partner in crime and girlfriend. I love you so much, and cannot wait to spend another year with you. Your art is so cartoony and fun, and thank you for passing the Sonic (no, not the metal) virus on to me. Heres to another year <3

#GOOD GOD I HAVE A LOT OF MOOT I LOVE YOU ALL

[moonstrider9904]

its my turn for love letters and i’ll do my best to remember everyone but it gets hard to pick when everyone is so talented and loving and kind 🥺

- @moonstrider9904 all the love for you and your kindness and warm energy, moonie 💞 im so grateful to have gotten to know you and experience your DELICIOUS FIC “the hunt” which never ceases to give me butterflies 💓 congratulations on 300!! you deserve it and ten thousand more. thank you for choosing to do this for your celebration, as im certain you’ve brought together more friends and mutuals through these 🤍

- @eloquentmoon breastie, you are the kindest most amazing most encouraging most heartfelt person and i cant thank you enough for being in my life. second moon wasn’t just the fic that got me into maul (i can go on a whole tangent about how you made me love him through your poetic words and the absolute CHAOS you put me and my heart through with “wicked girl” and my newly discovered corruption kink💀❤️) but it gained me a new friend, and that’s why it holds a special place in my heart ❤️

- @twistedstitcher27 STEPHHHHH you are honesty an inspiration with how fast you write such amazing clone fics AND THEY NEVER MISS!!! every time i see you pop up in my notifs i get so excited knowing im going to be served up something good 😩👏🏽💓 and honestly, every time i work on a dad clone fic, you’re the first person that pops into my head. 😂💞 i am SO EXCITED to read the new fives fic you posted!!!

- @maulslittlemeowmeow i just wanna say that all of your tbb fanfics have me in a chokehold and they’re so delicious and i don’t think i’ll ever forget the poly batch fics you wrote, ESPECIALLY the hunter and crosshair ones because those 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 SHEEEEESH i still go crazy thinking about it

- @rexxdjarin and @pinkiemme for writing and drawing enough rex content to fuel my entire existence 😩💙 @pinkiemme your art has a special place in my heart 🤍 i came across a tik tok of someone unboxing their new star wars tarot cards and i got so excited for you and your success!! @rexxdjarin your thoughts and drabbles and spicy rex blurbs never fail to get me giggling and twirling my hair. you just get him and its always so spectacular to come across anything you’ve come up with 💙

your content is loved and appreciated in my small corner of the world 💙🤍

NAY OMIGOSH HI

Umm.... 🥺🥺🥺 Aw, shucks, you're making me tear up (happily) with your beautiful words. I'm so happy that you're all loving this celebration, nothing makes me happier than to see this community thriving.

Thank you also for reading The Hunt and the rest of my works, it means the universe to me!! I just want to let you know that your writing amazes me to no end as well, and I too am very happy to be friends with you uwu

As for the next few shout outs...

@eloquentmoon You already know how I feel uwuwuwuw My sister in moonlight~ One can never thank you enough for your amazing writing and your friendship!!

@twistedstitcher27 More love for you! Honor to you! Hugs to you!

@maulslittlemeowmeow Now that @seriowan is mentioning your Hunter and Crosshair fic I am once again reminding myself that oooooh dear I have to read that!! Here's another little shout out to you, you deserve it :3

@rexxdjarin is just so heartwarming to see on the dash because the way she talks about Rex, the way she utterly loves him, it is so pure and there is no comparison to feeling that way. She feels about Rex the way I feel about Crosshair, and plus, her writing is immaculate (Hello, thank you for making me fall in love with Cody) and I just think everyone should run over and binge read her entire writing masterlist, you won't regret it :3

Last but not least, @pinkiemme!! Your Rex art is iconic, and you are also such a sweet person! Thank you for sharing your incomparable talent and kindness with us :3

Thank you, Nay, for sending in such wonderful love letters! Know that you are also loved and appreciated in this corner of the world :3

Love letter to creators

#moon's 300 followers

[xythlia]

୨୧⋆｡˚ RULES

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW!!

this blog contains nsfw + dark content! you must be 18+ to interact with me. [but I don't check every single person that interacts w my works bc that just not sustainable im just assuming everyone is respecting general 18+ rules]

i do ramble/talk generally on here so pls consider that before following if ur only looking for blogs posting only fandom content. this blog is mine, for me, but there are tags for you to blog if need be.

I post about my personal drug & alcohol use please feel free to unfollow if that's triggering for u I know for a lot of ppl it is no hard feelings

don't interact with me if you're a shit person with shit beliefs (racist, antisemitic, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, ect) or bring shallow drama or discourse everywhere [real world issues are not drama btw bc it affects real people and real lives].

im a semi fast writer but go thru cycles of dry spells n inspiration idk it happens when it happens. I post whenever I have something finished, I don't follow a schedule.

IF YOU FEED MY FICS INTO AN AI I WILL HUNT YOU FOR SPORT DO NOT PUT MY FICS INTO CHAT GPT OR ANY OTHER PROGRAM FUCK YOU FOREVER IF UR THE PERSON THAT FED MY FICS INTO THAT FUCKING AI

INTERACTIONS!

feel free to send anons about anything even just to talk about each others days I luv interacting w everyone<3

do not spam my inbox pls if I haven't answered ur ask I'm either saving it bc it was sweet/cute or it's something I don't wanna entertain. emoji anons are welcome!

I block freely bc so please do not try reaching out to me asking about why I blocked you, frankly it's weird to put anyone on the spot like that. this blog is my space so I have the right to block anyone just like you do. if it seems my blog unfollowed you please reach out bc it's probably a glitch, I don't soft block.

everyone can & should curate their own experience on here so if you wanna break mutuals please just hard block.

do not dm me about weird shit if we're not friends/moots, it's a lil uncomfy. however moots can always msg me about anything & I'm always here if u need something

moots can ask for my discord

do not spam request or I will block you. I get it, I got it the first time but I'm not an AI so u gotta be patient or hit the bricks.

pls do not involve me in discourse, especially if it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I have no problem supporting friends if they're going thru something but public shit is extremely messy & often time gets blown out of proportion by everyone involved. Plus drama isn't something ppl follow my blog for so I'm not gonna be putting that all over peoples dashes

› current emoji anons

🐢 anon

🐚 anon

⛓️🖤 anon

WRITING!

this blog is multifandom so you'll see me write whatever i want usually although I mostly post for om, genshin, n one piece rn

I do take requests, you have to be patient tho bc this is a hobby not a job & I don't wanna end up hating something that brings me joy

with requests pls do not double dip requests, if someone has already written that specific thing for you I will not be doing it again. It feels rude to be reworking something someone else has already done

do not recommend me on other platforms (especially tiktok) or I'll explode u with my mind fr. do not post screenshots of my works either.

I don't write mommy kink, ddlg, piss, scat, vore, feet, feederism, or bug chasing. that doesn't mean I'm against any of those things, im not shaming it's just not stuff I wanna write about. all other things I do write will be tagged accordingly tho

all the characters I write for are canon adults, I don't write for minors or age up minor characters.

thank yew 4 reading all this & respecting my boundaries!

#— logistics #if ur unclear on anything just ask!

[silentstarved]

Back at it again bitch...

Right now I am just at my defeated moment, it's the all is lost moment. Except on the outside no one can tell anything is wrong. As I type this I'm sitting at work 2:48 am people all around me and not one person would ever actually know there is so much shit wrong with me. Sometimes I think about it and it's funny. Like somehow my life is secretly an ironic joke about someone who on the inside just a complete frantic mess but on the outside they are look so perfectly fine and normal that they themselves become convinced. It makes me feel like I can never reveal the sad in front of anyone. To me that means they'll never know the real me. Even though I understand I am more than my emotions I have been invalidated everytime when I reveal my true sad self. I can't even handle validation at this point, it just makes me too emotional if I genuinely feel it.

So, with that being said I've been falling down and embracing the depression. I have been ordering DoorDash way more often than my budget can even allow, call out of work more times than I can make it, sleep in the same clothes and not bathe for days on end, stopped putting effort into my looks for multiple weeks. The lack of actual happiness I stopped caring about because I needed something momentarily that could keep me going. Days on end I laid in my bed playing my Nintendo and ignoring all my responsibilities and things in my life because it was the only thing that made me feel a little bit better. I ignored my partner and my pet for what seemed like days at a time. We have different schedules and didn't see eachother as much. When he finally said something I couldn't contain the emotion I felt and broke down. Talking to him was too heavy to handle taking accountability for being a depressed pos. We want to do so many things and make plans that will never leave the notes app. All he wants is to talk about a future together. Which I am terrified.

Everything scares me. My absolute worst fear is being vulnerable with someone and not only do they hurt you or cheat and leave but taking advantage of that vulnerability. I am so scared that the love I give is being taken for granted and that what I receive from my partner is false. I'm so scared to find out everything I know about our relationship is a lie. Part of me is so scared of finding out but the other half of me wants to fight until it cracks and the real truth spills out. I know that deep down I am truly unloveable. My soul is broken and hopeless, I know that people might become attracted to certain features of mine but I am not beautiful and I have nothing to show for myself. I have never felt these things about myself. Just moments where I think I'm not so bad but the reality I've created of myself sets in and I immerse myself back into everything I hate.

During this spell of depression my issues with my body's image and self esteem has only gotten worse. Staying home and being unmotivated led me to being lazy, buying fast food, and having it delivered staying in bed and just eating. That trend made me gain weight in the last two months and I couldn't be more disgusted and ashamed. I was at the lowest low of hating myself. I got fatter, stopped doing my makeup, I didn't shave and barely showered, I was proud of myself when I brushed my teeth one day because they were so gross. At the height of this I was overeating falling asleep and getting myself sick when I woke up. Door dash really got the best of me and I'm really ashamed of that. I really wish I had that type of depression where I can't even handle food. At least I would be skinny and sad.

From this entire sequence I am at square one. I am at the beginning of where I started again. Same weight same gain and same pain.

It has been an ongoing cycle for me and I'm just tired of going the way I have been. I want to take my goals and the way I envision who I want to be seriously. I know im not going down a good path bc I've seen it before but I feel like ⭐️ ving going to give me some control over myself I've been longing for and I can't hate myself as much if im smaller.

#tw restrictive ed #ana meal #pro a4a #3ating d1sorder #ed bllog #tw ana diary #ed not ed sheeran #low cal meal #3dtumblr #ed rant

[wolfsp1der]

#𝚆𝙾𝙻𝙵𝚂𝙿𝟷𝙳𝙴𝚁 : a  selective low  activity  kaeden ' kae ' klein  aka  wolf  spider  roleplay  sideblog  for  an original character  based  in  sony's into / across the spider - verse.      un - affiliated with earth - 13989's spider - wolf, crossover friendly !

an ode to  :  terrible, horrible,  no good, very bad luck, a good liar's web, and making a home in your own skin.     𝟶𝟼/𝟷𝟷/𝟸𝟹.     spun  by  jean,  23,  white,  they/any,  cst.

prompts.     footnotes.

dash rules.

you do not need to be following my main to follow and interact with me over here.     however,  i do require that i be following you from there before interaction.

000. . .     disclaimer.

just a little one !     i am very new to dc + marvel comics and find myself often overwhelmed with the amount of issues there are to read.     i’ve got the spirit,  but i may or may not know the basics about your muse when it comes to comic based portrayals.     i apologize in advance,  but it’s nothing a little plotting can’t fix,  so if i pop into your ims with stupid questions about your muse, this is why.     but as always,  if you’re still down to clown,  i am very much too !

001. . .     activity.

i'll be frank : i write pretty sporadically, and this goes for ic and ooc interactions. i can get overwhelmed juggling responsibilities often, and socializing is one of the first things to go.     i un  /  fortunately work 40 hour work weeks,    and only get every other weekend off,  so my schedule makes consistent activity difficult on top of my focus. if i can successfully plot something with you, i find my muse is sooo much more involved, but i'm contradictorily bad at it due to the reasons above ; it's truly hit or miss, and i understand if that becomes frustrating for any of my partners.    sometimes i’ll be able to get out a couple drafts a week,  others merely once,  or not at all. if i haven’t replied or answered something in a while,  please know it’s nothing personal, i’m just taking my time until i feel good about what i can put down.     writing is a hobby i enjoy, but if you're looking for a blog with any sort of regularity, this isn't the one for you. i have other rp blogs i try to run as well,  therefore i might be very slow on this one at times.     i can be quite the flaky rp partner,  so i apologize in advance for that and completely understand if my antics   [  or lack thereof  ]   result in an unfollow. if i go longer than two months without activity, i'll try to make a hiatus notice.

002. . .     following.  

because of the previously stated,  i’m also highly selective with who i rp with.     i want to not to bite off more than i can chew,  and for the sake of pacing myself,  my activity will be reserved for mutuals only.     if my thread count gets too high for my liking, it's not uncommon that i drop threads, but i will absolutely try and let you know if that happens.     duplicates are always welcome &lt;;3   [  let me know if you need me to tag same - muse posts and i’ll be happy to !  ] i regularly go on softblocking sprees to keep my follower count semi - low, but do feel free to re - follow if you feel like the stars merely misaligned for our first bout of mutual following and i'd be very down to give it another shot. on that note, it'll take me a week+ to follow back sometimes, as i like to read through not only rules, but dossiers and verse pages, especially for ocs, so it can take a hot minute.

003. . .     etiquette.

the basics  ;  don’t be an asshole,  any transphobia,  biphobia,  homophobia,  racism,  whitewashing,  pro - shipping,  incest,  etc,  will be blocked on sight.     no godmodding,  please cut your threads,  continue asks in new posts,  etc,  and no stealing of any personal concepts of mine.     loose inspiration is fine,  but if i see repeated similarities,  i may or may not approach you about it.     formatting - wise,  here is an example of my prose style.     i primarily use big ol’ text and static or no icons,  beta editor + xkit rewritten,  but feel free to format however you like and i’ll try to match you somewhat. since my concussion, however, i will no longer be threading with super small text or anything heavily formatted, as this can strain my eyes and make headaches worse, even with my glasses.

004. . .     shipping.  

i’m all about exploring meaningful dynamics,  whether they be platonic,  familial,  antagonistic,  pre - established,  etc,  so feel free to shoot me a message if you’d like to plot something out between our muses !     while the mun of this blog is 18+,  smut just really isn’t my thing  ;  referenced  ‘ offscreen ’  as it were is fine,  as are nfsfw headcanons and such,  maybe fade to black  /  time skips,  but for the most part,  you won’t find any roleplayed smut on this blog.     this of course is muse dependent and does not apply to any underage muses.     romance is fine to some degree,  but again,  if they are a child,  anything beyond lighthearted and innocent experiences are off limits,  no exceptions.     if i see you’ve aged up a minor character for shipping purposes,  it will result in an instant unfollow.     if at some point i flesh out adult verses for them,  these shipping rules will not change.     on that note as well,  i do prefer to rp with muns who are also 18+.     i don’t see your age somewhere in your rules or pinned,  it will affect my willingness to follow.

005. . .     memes.

memes from anyone,  anytime,  for the muse or for the mun,  are always welcome,  and often a go - to ice breaker of mine since starter calls make me nervous.     please don’t hesitate to send a good handful since i try not to cage myself into answering ones i just don’t have muse for.     i find if i force stuff,  i’m just less likely to ever actually get it done,  so don’t feel like you’re overwhelming me if you send more than just a couple for me to choose from.     please remember to specify which muse your asks are for unless it’s to one of my sideblogs.     if you want to start a thread from an ask,  i greatly encourage it since i try to write most answers as potential starters anyway ! lastly, any memes in my tag aren't expired. if i don't want them sent in anymore, i'll delete them from the tag.

006. . .     triggers.  

this blog leans horror - adjacent in many ways,  and this blog will be portraying that accordingly,  including trigger - heavy content such as  :  depression,  ptsd,  panic attacks,  body horror, violence,  murder,  kidnapping,  abuse  /  neglect,  animal death,  horror elements,   expirimentation,  death  /  resurrection,  religious imagery,  etc,  but i will try to tag it as  ‘ trigger // ’.     on that note,  please do keep in mind  :  any abuse present on my blog will be in headcanons or backstories,  never actual threads.     if i’m writing with villain muses,  physical harm may be present,  but i refuse to roleplay any domestic  /  animal  /  harm or abuse in any form.     my personal triggers are visual eye gore,  visual self harm,  and visual vomit.     please do feel free to say something if i forget to tag a post and i’ll try to tag it for you right away !

whew. all that said, i'm jean, 23, white, and i use they/any pronouns ! thank you for taking the time to read my rules,  and rest assured if i follow you,  that means i’ve read through yours as well <3 discord is available for mutuals upon request.

007. . .     blogroll.

enslaughts.     a medium activity horror - heavy multimuse. dvrast.     a selective jesper fahey. low activity.     follows from enslaughts. wolfsp1der.     an original spider - person. low activity. wayfares.     a selective western multimuse. hiatus. greatloss.     a selective slow five hargreeves. hiatus. clericlost.     a selective slow william byers. hiatus. mindsflayed.     a selective slow mind flayer + vecna. hiatus.     follows from clericlost.

#pinned. #spiderman rp #superhero rp

[sereniv]

Hi! Yaqui anon (again lol) So I was doing some thinking about what you were saying in your responses, and ngl, I think I’m at another crossroads. You really emphasized the importance of connection when it comes to reconnecting, and I realized that, to my knowledge, there are no family members, either immediate or extended, who are enrolled in the tribe or practice the culture. The only thing I have is basically a family story and information online that could honestly be inaccurate (I think I mentioned that I saw tribes connected to ancestors in my research online, though I’d ideally like to actually view the uploaded records and not rely on information that anyone could input and that isn’t actually based on data from records (literally just learned that today so yayyy 🙃🙃) Unfortunately I can’t view the records that might have ancestors’ tribes listed on them without a paid subscription to the site.

I’m not going to lose all hope of trying to reconnect just yet and I’m still going to reach out to relatives, distant and not so distant, for any info, but rn it’s looking like reconnecting and claiming I’m Yaqui may not be my place. I won’t lie and say the thought isn’t upsetting to me, but I know I’ll get over it, and better to figure that out and come to terms with it now than insert myself in spaces that aren’t mine. If you have any advice— maybe I’m missing something— I’d appreciate it very much! Thank you again for being so gracious and informative with your former replies. Take care and be well 🌸

Ill put this one under a cut just in case it gets long. sorry if its not best written. i had to take an edible for body spasms so im a little drowzy

connection isnt just to family since someone could not have family or want contact and thats fine. my dad is Yaqui but hes not Yoeme. hes just Yaqui by blood. Also hes a bigot. He SAYS he cares and wish that he could learn but i think hes lying and would rather just be white. he also says no one on the yaqui side wants to talk to him. like huh really? i wonder why, trumper??

connection is more for community. connection looks a lot of ways, not just talking to people, not just learning. like for me, language is what makes me feel connected. even though im just learning.

for someone else it might be activism. it might be talking to someone in the same boat as you. it might be listening to music, or gettinf envolved. connection could be donating for projects that benifit the community if thats all you can do.

and especially for reconnecting its not going to happen all at once. its going to be rocky, and its going to be drawn out. there is never going to be a time where it all falls into place and you can check reconnected off on a list

it can be as much or as little. but there has to be some tether. like i said, just taking a title and then doing absolutely nothing isnt it. like..

ok so im trans and disabled. big identities for me. i never know when pride is, or trans day of visibility. i dont know news about trans issues unless i see it on my dash. sometimes if i read stuff that doesnt effect me, or even does, i dont feel anything. or rather im not emotionally affected. basically, i support trans rights 100%, just sometimes some things feel meh even if its dire. if that makes sense. i still care!

but being trans makes me happy and proud and that is just who i am. i am always trans. even when im not in the community actively. and this can also be attributed to passing, white privilege, etc.

and with disability its the same, even if its something that is very relevant to me. thats just how my adhd mind is.

and i felt bad about it for a long time bc i felt, of im really trans or really disabled then i have to be an activist and do the most and fight for the community!! but theres nothing wrong with being in the community but engaging when you feel like it

so connection is going to be tailored to you, and whats relevent to you as a person. like identities always sounds like.. a jacket? but its just you. strip everything away and being disabled, being trans, being native, being a religion is still there.

again its never going to feel enough which is why you have to focus on you rather than how youre percieved. its so hard lol. at least for me.

But in terms of proof, im in a slightly similar boat? My cousin has papers which he says he has that indicate that my great grandma was full Yaqui. which lines up bc (BQ talk for sake of thr conversation) im 1/8th, which makes my dad 1/4th, and my grandma half. i think my grandma. and then my great grandma as 100%. which unfortunately i never got to meet. ive also been told he thinks a cousin lives on the rez in arizona. but other than that i dont know anyone other than my cousin who is connected or even attempting to reconnect

So again it lines up. but its really hard to get that info. and getting that info is especially hsrd when you have anxiety or are shy. which can seem like

well if its important enough, then you can work through it and should. but thats why we have to focus on us. push a little past what makes us comfortable, but ultimately dont beat yourself up for not being able to interact with people.

and youre so right, i think you have a great mindset- because yeah its not about searching to be native or yaqui. its not fingers crossed let me be native

its about a missing puzzle piece. and if the puzzle piece you find is actually not the one you thought it was, what matters is still finding the right piece

also i would love to know where u get your info and that subscription site, unless its the ancestry.com shit. that makes me mad. everytime it shows up with info it gives me a money screen

also if you want if youre on ancestry.com or 23andme we can add each other. who knows maybe we're related lol only if youre down. ill give my name so you dont have to publicly. but you said youre shy so its cool if no

otherwise idk how anyone does genealogy. like my jewish side has a lot of info and italian from one of my cousins who collected a bunch of stuff. and then on my dads side it goes to my grandma and it doesnt fill anything in.

but yeah even if you dont feel comfortable claiming yaqui yet, you can still connect to the native community

and at the end of the day a lot of native ppl dont know their tribe they decend from. they are still native. just from an unknown tribe. which is sad to not know but like, its not their fault. it feels shitty to say youre not native anymore bc colonization ttok away records and knowledge of your heritage.

like i think one some people do is support their local tribe. get involved locally.

unfortunately i dont have much info to give bc like i said im in a similar boat. im shy and anxious so its hard for me to talk to people, so seeking that info overwhelming

and then bugging my cousin sucks

but since you seem to have a little less to work on.. idk. maybe sign up for 23andme AND ancestry so that you have a wider net for family members that you can contact

otherwise maybe getting a genealogist to help you

and yeah its ok to not claim anything. Theres no rush! you can still be in the native community and support

sorry if i missed anything

#ask #anon #yaqui #hiaki #yoeme

[authcenter]

venom is a marvel movie right

#i know absolutely nothing about it im just seeing it all over my dash #looks uh. like a marvel movie

[pinchevaquerx]

.

#negative cw #i am seeing people all over my dash loosing their shit over the new mc.cree lore #like its apparently a shock to a ton of people that he #is cool with killing???? #the kid who was infamous by 17?????? #honestly i knew a lot of people had fucking weird thoughts on him #but i thought most of the wrong ones were the he's an idiot sort #not the hes peaceful / is a good guy type??? #like absolutely nothing about that comic surprised me #and im honestly a little mad seeing everyone losing their shit over how hes such a bad guy now #or rethinking how much they like him bc of this 'revelation' #like.... ok #dont know how anyone saw someone so stereotypically a cowboy and all about justice #and didnt think yeah he definitely kills people he thinks are bad #HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WESTERN #anyway ill delete this later i just had to rant #⟴ ooc ⟞

[cjsinkythoughts]

Ocean Eyes, Cherry Lips, Ivory Keys

Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2747

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of alcohol, I think that’s all

A/N: This is a headcanon I’ve had for a while that I’ve been wanting to write about 40s!Bucky, pre-War. I kinda want to write a series about it, so that might happen. For now, enjoy this little tidbit I’ve written, with the prompt of Occasion for HBC’s Lucky in Love Day 18! (This isn’t beta’d so please excuse mistakes.)

He’s something of a celebrity. A living legend. A God amongst humans. Starting as a kid in Brooklyn, his fanbase rapidly grew, expanding to Queens, Manhattan, even parts of New Jersey, just in the past few years.

You don’t get it. So what if he’s got cool blue eyes, soft chocolate hair, and a charming smile? Who cares if he’s got smooth moves and even smoother words? He’s just a man - a human being - with flaws just like everyone else. A talented and gorgeous man, who has all of New York wanting to fall to her knees to please him, but still just a man.

James Buchanan Barnes.

Most everyone knew his name, but there was a lot of mystery surrounding the actual character. 

You just don’t see what all the fuss is about. You’ve never personally met him, or even seen him, but you know people who have. Your friend’s cousin even claims to have danced with him once. Not that that would be hard. You hear he’s never danced with the same bird twice, and, considering most start dancing in their teenage years, that’s a lot of dames.

It’s not that you’re not curious about him - if he’s actually as dashing as they say - but you’re not about to stop your life for him like some of your friends. They’re obsessed with getting his attention. With seeing if they’d be the one. The one to finally chain him down and tame him. The one he’d go steady with.

It feels like that’s all you ever talk about anymore. It was amusing at first, but now it’s just getting annoying. It’s been three years since that day in March of 1938, when your roommate ran into your room, plopping down onto your bed, before ranting and raving about the new ocean eyed piano player at her favorite bar. And since then, he’s been in your life without actually being in your life.

Speaking of, here you are. Listening to Lucy, MaryAnne, and Jean gushing over the man, trying to enjoy your milkshake.

“I heard from Sally that Thomas said that he knew the brother of one of his friend’s in high school!”

“That can’t be true! I heard from Billy, who heard from Martha, who was told by Ben, that he only had, like, one friend in high school.”

“You’re kidding, right? There’s no way a man like that had only one friend.”

“I hear he does boxing and that’s why he’s got a body sculpted like a Greek God.”

“Oh my God! MaryAnne!”

You rub your temples, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as the three burst into fits of giggles. If you have to hear one more word about-

“I heard he’s going to be playing at Georgie’s on Friday!”

Gasps echoed around the table. “No way! Georgie’s?”

You raise an eyebrow, this actually intriguing you. Georgie’s is a popular little hole in the wall, on the edge of being a speakeasy, which doubles as a pub and a dance hall in Brooklyn. It’s one of the best hang outs for kids like you and your girls, but it isn’t very high class. Maybe that’s why it’s one of the best. “Isn’t Georgie’s a little…cheap for him? He’s been playing at the best bars and restaurants for a while now.”

“It’s a classic in Brooklyn. Near his home, probably.”

“Do you think he lives near there?!”

“Ooo! Maybe we could find out!’

You scoff. “That,” gesturing to Lucy with your glass, you take a sip of your milkshake. “Is called stalking, my friend.”

Jean waves towards you dismissively. “I think he lives near Tin Pan Alley. That’s where he plays the most, after all. Georgie’s was probably just an old hang out for him and his pals.”

“Wait, wait,” you shake your head, a thought popping into your head. You turn to Lucy, confused. “How’d you find out he’s playing at Georgie’s anyways? Isn’t part of his whole act not telling anyone where he’s playing?”

Giving you a smirk and a wink, Lucy shrugs. “I’ve got my connections.”

You roll your eyes again, turning your attention back to your milkshake. “So?!” MaryAnne squealed. “We’re going on Friday, right?”

“Hell yes!”

“Absolutely!”

“Not.” You mumble, causing the other three to stare at you incredulously.

“Not?!”

“I’m not wasting my Friday night going to see some fella you all have a crush on. Especially when he might not even be there.”

Your friends groan, exchanging glances. “And what’re you gonna do?” Jean crossed her arms with a pointed look on her face. “Sit down and read a book like you always do?”

You huff. “I like reading, sue me. I don’t get a lot of time to myself. You know that new girl’s been gumming up the works and I’ve had to stay late to fix her mistakes all week.”

“This is exactly what you need, then! Come out, have a drink, jive a little-”

You look up at that, an amused kind of smirk on your lips. “Jive? Me and my clumsy ass?”

You all laugh. “Okay, so maybe not dance, but c’mon! It’ll be snazzy, you’ll see!”

“Fine, fine.” Standing up with a sigh, you collect your things, smoothing down your dress with your hands. “I’ve gotta scram.”

“We’ll see you on Friday, right?”

You give a small smile, shooting them a wink. “I guess I can make it.”

***************

Friday comes a lot faster than you anticipate. You dress up; a navy blue dress going to your knees with white, heart shaped buttons and a bow around the waist. The shoes you’re wearing are your nice black and white Mary Janes. Lips painted deep red, and hair pinned back in loose curls, you glance over yourself in a mirror. You’ll admit; you look damn good. You don’t wanna go, but you might as well try to have some fun since you are.

It’s a cool evening, early May meaning the summer humidity hasn’t hit just yet. You didn’t even think about bringing a coat, but you start to regret the decision as you start walking. MaryAnne, who you actually room with, already left, being way too excited to stay put.

It doesn’t take you long - you live on the border of Queens and Brooklyn - but your feet are more sore than you’d like when you arrive.

“I knew you’d come!” Lucy grins, coming up besides you and linking her arm in yours. MaryAnne comes up on your other side and does the same to your free arm.

“Where’s Jean?”

“Where do you think? She already found a Joe to swing with.”

You laugh. “Of course she has! So is your dreamboat here?”

The grins that are immediately on their faces answer your question and they quickly drag you inside.

It’s hot and crowded and dim. Skirts with their beaus, guys with their broads, swinging and dancing to the lively music of the band on stage. Smoke from cigarettes, pipes, and cigars is evident in the air as they neared the bar portion of the building, mixing with the boisterous sound of laughter and chatter.

“Everyone’s talking about it! He’s here, but he hasn’t played yet. We’ve been trying to catch a glimpse of him, but we think he’s in a back room.” The dramatic sigh MaryAnne gives makes you laugh a little.

“Okay, khaki whackies. Let’s get a drink.”

You, just as you thought would happen tonight, are left alone at the bar by your friends who quickly found partners to dance with. A few men asked you, but you have never been a good dancer.

You’re lost in thought, running a finger gently around the rim of your cup, when a voice sounded besides you, pulling you out of your thoughts, a slight rasp to the otherwise mellifluous voice.

“You gonna drink that, doll, or just stare at it all night?”

You raise an eyebrow at the jest, turning your head, only to have your breath hitch. What a specimen. Ocean blue eyes, fluffy brown curls, cherry pink lips. A white dress shirt is pulled over his broad chest, gray dress pants hugging thick thighs, matching suit jacket across wide shoulders. He has a blue, black, and white plaid tie around his neck and you can see the edges of his blue suspenders under his blazer. He’s put together, but it’s nothing special, a normal Sunday best suit, that much you can tell.

“Uh, not all night.” You look back to the drink, before looking at the clock with a hum, tilting your head playfully. “Maybe another hour.”

He chuckles, gesturing for the bartender. “Tell me this, sweetheart. What is a beautiful dame like yourself doin’ drinking alone?”

“I’m not very good on my feet, I’m afraid.” You laugh nervously, taking a sip of your drink.

“Don’t come here often, then?”

“Only for special occasions.”

“What’s the special occasion this evenin’, sugar?”

You shrug. “My friends dragged me here. They’re practically in love with this guy who’s supposedly playing the piano tonight. James Barnes. Have you ever heard of him?”

He chuckles, a grin pulling his lips upwards. “Yeah. Yeah I’ve heard of ‘im. Not a big fan yourself?”

“I’m sure he’s fine. I just don’t understand the fascination with him. Let the man be.”

“I agree.” He hums with a nod, grabbing the glass of whiskey the bartender set in front of him. “I actually know him.”

“Really?” You look at him in interest.

He tilts his head with a smile towards you that makes you melt. “Yeah. He feels the same. He just likes playin’. That’s all. He didn’t want all the attention. He gets enough without that.”

You raise an eyebrow, finishing off your drink. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m Bucky by the way.”

You eye his hand, grabbing it after a second, letting him bring your knuckles to his lips. “Y/N.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, mama.” He shifts his body more towards you, running a hand through his hair. “You said you ain’t fond of dancin’?”

Shaking your head, you quickly defend yourself, “no, no. I like dancing. I’m just not very good. Got two left feet.”

He smirks, tongue poking out to run over those plump lips of his. “Well, with the right partner, it doesn’t really matter.”

“Are you asking me to dance, Bucky?”

“Not if you’re gonna say no.” He responds with a toothy grin, leaning his elbows on his knees.

You sigh and shake your head. “I’m afraid tonight’s not your night, pal. I just can’t seem to get myself in the mood.”

He hums, leaning back. “Is it the music? Too fast for you?”

“I wouldn’t mind if they slowed it down some, I suppose.”

He smiles cheekily. “I can help with that. Hold on.”

You grin at him, nodding. “I’ll be here.”

Watching him stand and make his way over to the stage, you quirk an eyebrow. He seems to know the band well, if the handshakes and the claps on the back have anything to say about it. He says something to the lead, who nods with a grin, shooting him a wink. Bucky laughs, but you can see a tint of pink dusting his cheeks, making you wonder what they were saying.

He makes his way back over as the band shifts tones, the animated swing changing to a slow jazzy number. Bucky beams at you, holding out his hand as he approaches. “Care to dance?”

You purse your lips, narrowing your eyes, but taking his hand anyways. “How’d you do that? Do you work here?’

“Uh…somethin’ like that.” He states vaguely, leading you to the dance floor with the other swaying couples. Pulling you as close as appropriate, his hands resting politely on your waist, he starts moving you side to side. 

“That’s not ominous.” You place your hands on his shoulders, following his lead as you stare at your feet.

He chuckles, hooking a finger under your chin to lift your gaze. “I’ve gotcha, doll. I won’t let you fall.”

“I’m going to step on your feet.” You explain.

“Nah. You’re doin’ great. You just need to get outta your head. Relax a little. Tell me something about yourself.”

You hum. “Like what?”

“Anything.”

“Uh, okay…I have a roommate who is one of the girls who begged me to come, I’m a secretary - I know, boring - and…I dunno. I like reading.”

His eyes lighten at this. “Reading? Whaddya like to read?”

“Different things. Depends on my mood. I’m re-reading The Hobbit for, like, the twentieth time right now.”

“I love The Hobbit.” Bucky grins, making you smile back. “I read it almost as soon as it came out.”

“Me too! I was planning on reading it tonight but,” you gesture around. “Here I am.”

Bucky lips pull up softly, his hold on your waist tightening ever so slightly as he pulls you closer. “Well, as much as I love that book, I’m glad you came out tonight.”

Giving him a little tease, you tap your chin thoughtfully. “Eh…I think I’d rather be at home.”

He pinches your side gently, making you squeal and squirm. “That hurt, sugar. That physically hurt me. C’mon, mama, your gonna say you aren’t havin’ a good time?”

“I just met you ten minutes ago.”

“Well, sweetheart, if you think we’re movin’ too fast, I won’t introduce you to my folks just yet.”

You laugh, blinking up at him. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Buck.”

The two of you rock for a little while longer, before the band stops, announcing they’re taking a break and a special guest is going to play a little something.

“Maybe James Barnes is here.” You say, a bit of intrigue lacing your tone, trying to see through the crowds of people who started gathering around the stage to catch a glimpse of the charming pianist. “I see why he would be over the attention.”

“Yeah.” Bucky sighs, almost sadly, giving you an apologetic look. “Listen, I’ve gotta go work for a bit, but I’ll be right back.”

You smirk. “So you do work here?”

“Um…kinda. You’ll see.”

You raise an eyebrow at his words, but he’s kissing your knuckles and walking away. You frown, but can’t think more on it when three young women are on you, babbling about their dates.

“Who were you dancing with, Y/N? He was cute!”

You roll your eyes, feeling yourself heat up, and not because of the many bodies in the vicinity. “Just…some guy.”

“C’mon, c’mon! We’ve gotta get a good spot to actually see him!”

You huff, letting the drag you through the crowd, shoving their way towards the front just as a familiar deep voice spoke. 

“Thanks for comin’ out, everyone. I hope your havin’ a good night. Let’s get this hop started, yeah?”

Your eyes widen when you finally catch sight of the man sitting at the piano with a polite smile on his features. He catches your eye and shoots you a wink, before his fingers start flying over the keys. The beam that he gets while tickling the gleaming ivories, his azure eyes lighting up, and you can’t fight the smile you get. He looks so relaxed, so invigorated, that it makes you happy just watching him.

“Oh my God! Weren’t you dancing with him?!” Lucy shook your shoulder obnoxiously, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, mesmerized with the way he played like it’s the only thing he wanted to do with his life. Which, as you remember his words, ‘he just likes playin’. That’s all.’ you figure it is the only thing he wanted to do with his life.

You just danced with James Barnes…and he’s just as perfect as everyone says.

You’re still trying to wrap your head around it, your friends jumping around you, trying to get every little detail of him from you, when your heart skips a beat and your brain malfunctions. Bucky had started up another song, slower and more intimate, and he’s looking right at you. 

You find yourself doing something you never thought you would; you’re swooning over James Barnes, smiling like an idiot, heat blooming up your neck and flaming your face. And yes, he’s just a man - a human being - with flaws just like everyone else. But he’s a talented and gorgeous man, who has all of New York wanting to fall to her knees to please him.

And now that includes you.

#cjsinkythoughts #cjswriting #bucky barnes x reader #40s!bucky barnes x reader #40s!bucky x reader #bucky x reader #40s!bucky barnes #40s!bucky #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #40s!bucky barnes x you #40s!bucky barnes x y/n #hbc lucky in love #pianist!bucky barnes #💙🦾 #💙🦾🎹 #💙🦾📻 #💙🦾📻🎹

[elysianslove]

hi eli bby !! its me vio again shhshf

i loved ur vball player crush hcs w miya twins && suna and can i have that too w sakusa, semi && shirabu ? MY UNDERRATED BOYS CRIES SM <//3 thank u sm <33

hiiiii my love!!! tysm for requesting these boys i love them so much. i hope you like this lysm <3

sakusa kiyoomi 

considering what i’ve seen in the anime, and some manga panels, i really don’t think omi’s a peoples person. so even in school, i doubt he was very involved with other students, and probably kept to himself 

he’s also hyper-aware of his surroundings constantly, including the people around him, so the fact that he noticed you wasn’t a shock

it’s that he noticed you, and then he couldn’t stop thinking about you

probably had some dream about you that same night that cursed him with a crush on you yk the dreams i’m talking about right? 

he still continues to keep to himself, and whenever he spots you from his peripheral vision he just dashes out of there. he realizes that forcing himself to act normally around you might actually improve his situation and help him get over whatever this stupid crush was but he was not taking any chances

he also knew nothing about you, just your last name! 

so anyways both the boys and girls vbc’s are heading the same school, so they got one bus for the both of you and combined them. 

because his general dislike for crowds, omi usually sits out in the front, especially because the door to the bus is right next to him. idk he just seems like the kind to map out an escape plan for every room/vehicle he enters i don’t have a reason why i think so

the game was happening on a weekend, really early, like way too early, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were tired. it’s an unspoken rule that those who sit in the back make a lotta noise and all that, so you opted for the front seats instead to at least try and rest a bit before the game

you don’t sit directly next to him, but there’s only an aisle separating the two of you

because, yk, manners, you give him a small smile before saying, “good morning!” and settling in your seat, your bag between your legs

omi on god freezes up lmfao

he doesn’t mean to sound so rude but it just comes out that way! he says something along the lines of “what are you doing here?” and immediately regrets it after it leaves his lips. he visibly cringes 

but instead of being thrown off, you just laugh, and sakusa curses everything behind his mask because holy shit were you gorgeous and wow was his stomach just somersaulting 

not a nice feeling 

you explain to him briefly that you’re on the vbc and you were heading to play the girls of the same school he was gonna play against and all that, and he just hums and nods and tries to ignore the thump thump thump of his heart 

you don’t really interact during the bus ride going to, it’s coming back that you do 

you tell him that you managed to glimpse the last bit of his game, where he was landing a spike, and you complimented his skills and pointed out his freakish wrist move 

he noted that he didn’t get to see you play and your brain went opportunity! 

you go “well maybe you should come to one of my dates” like the absolute smooth talker you are 

omi just hums and goes “i’ll see” 

absolutely is there lol

the development into a relationship is more implicit than explicit. the two of you don’t announce to the world, but honestly, neither do you do it to yourselves. like you’d been on a coffee date with him at some point and your parent or sibling texted something you found funny and mentioned him as your boyfriend and you showed it to him and he was like

hm

am i your boyfriend 

like idk am i your girlfriend 

he said yeah obviously 

i love this boy so fucking much pleaseeeee

but yes just as your development into a couple is subtle, so is your overall relationship. and honestly? you wouldn’t have it any other way

semi eita

omg pretty setter semi eeee

so yk how shiratorizawa students live in dorms? there’s no way semi hasn’t noticed you before, even if it’s separate dorms for different genders. like you two probably come across each other every once in a while at a vending machine or something, and exchange a word or two 

it’s not until when semi starts to look forward to seeing you, or when he gets disappointed every time you don’t make an appearance, that he realizes, you know, he’s kinda developed a liking to you

he doesn’t really know much about you, aside your name and your favorite go-to snack from the vending machine, so he’s left a little frustrated at the lack of interactions you two have. like he’s just living off that small laugh of acknowledgment and the hi, hope you sleep well! you know? like he wants more from you. he wants to get to know you

he can’t seem to ever see you in school either, because the stars hate him that much and don’t wanna align for the two of you, not even a little to share one class with him. just one

it’s just his luck, though, when a busy weekend for all the sports teams comes along, and each sport is sectioned off to a bus. volleyball boys and girls in one bus, swimming boys and girls in one bus, etc. 

he really doesn’t expect it when you get on the bus, because what the fuck you play volleyball??? and then he really doesn’t expect it when you recognize him, gasp and grin, and wave at him, and go over to sit by him

his brain’s short-circuiting 

you immediately start conversation as you’re setting your bag down like “i didn’t know you played volleyball!”

and he laughs and nods like “i didn’t know you did either” 

it’s honestly a really cute and satisfying moment like okay maybe the stars were just taking their time aligning thank you universe 

the two of you click immediately. like annoyingly so. you have so much in common, and you spend the entire ride chatting excitedly about everything and semi’s wishing he’d just asked you to hang out way sooner, like as early as the first time you’d met at that vending machine 

the girls’ games finish a lot later than the boys, so he comes and watches you play, and is enamored by you, completely. in his head he’s just ‘this girl just keeps growing more perfect.’

he walks back with you to the bus, and sits next to you as well. when you arrive back at the school, you don’t immediately go to your dorms, and he suggests grabbing a refreshing drink from somewhere nearby

it’s incredible how you still have so much to talk about 

the time passes really quick with him

it’s while you’re having that drink with him, probably iced tea or boba or something, he tells you about his small passion for music, and you make him promise to play you something at some point. he loops his pinky with yours :)

he also confides in you about having been replaced on his last year, and how he tries not to let it affect him but he really can’t help him. from then on, after each of your practices, you invite him in your gym, and have him set to you, just so you both have an excuse to spend time with each other, and so that he gets to practice and play the way he really wants to, without any restrictions placed upon him and no one waiting to take his place

i think as a couple you’d probably really bring out the best in each other, and you’re constantly always, always there for each other. really, really reliant and supportive as partners, you know? 

you go to all his games, and whenever he’s pitched in, you scream his name the loudest and cheer him on so much. one look at your face, and he’s reminded of who he is and why he does what he does, and he’s immediately grounded aw <3

shirabu kenjirō

omg shirabu with a crush 🥺🤲🏼 i love it when characters seem so cold and standoffish but as soon as they’re around the people they care about they do a 180. that’s shirabu 100%

he really, really, really liked you. like it was embarrassing at this point. he totally denied it every time anyone even thought it, and he really tried his hardest not to be obvious around you

i like to think he saw you around school and that’s how it developed a little, but maybe you were friends with some of the vbc boys because of your shared interest in the sport, and you come to play with them sometimes after practice, he’d just never be there

but one time you walked in and he was like guess im not leaving 

he was a little starstruck at the fact that you played volleyball. he honestly wouldn’t care, but it sorta felt nice that there really was something that you two had in common

and you were good. at everything. you received semi and ushijima’s serves, and goshiki’s and ōhira’s spikes, perfectly, and reacted to tendō’s blocks so well, and hit his tosses just right. you were incredible. maybe your skills were magnified from his specific lens, but there really was no denying you were skilled 

damn this. all this. 

especially any time you’d spike his toss and give him a really wide smile and say, “nice toss!” like seriously the way his heart’s spasming cannot be healthy what the fuck 

and then he finds out the girls are sharing a bus with them, and then you walk in

and then you walk towards him

obviously, outwardly he looks unimpressed and unfazed but trust, his palms are sweaty as fuck 

before the bus moves, you stand by his seat and make small talk with him about volleyball, before you realize the bus is moving and you have to sit down, but you’re still in the middle of a conversation with him, so you just sit next to him and continue like nothing happened

he just. allows it. 

the school you’d been going to had a really big court where both the girls and boys were playing in the same gymnasium on opposite sides of the court, so when you arrived and changed and all, you were like “wanna warm up together” couple goals <3

pls semi, taichi and tendō would probably tease the fuck out of him lmfao. he’d just glare at them but he has such a big blush on his cheeks as he stretches and warms up with you that the glare is completely ineffective 

you go to sit next to him on the bus ride home, but the day’s exhaustion catches up to you, plus the bus’s movements are lulling you, so you end up falling asleep on his shoulder, and when shirabu first notices that you’d actually fallen asleep, he looks down at you with such a dreamy and awestruck face. goshiki took a picture and likes to torment him with it. shirabu has it as his lockscreen now lol 

as your boyfriend, he’s the exact same. very standoffish to everyone outwardly but to you? it’s a different story. 

nonetheless it’s not very obvious. so yes, he will have a scowl on his face as he tells you off, but his lips are slightly upturned and there’s a little pink shade on his cheeks that show just how endearing he thinks you are 

really loves to practice with you because he loves seeing you in your zone like that. also you look hot

anyways yes he’s such a cutie i will not take criticism 

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #hq x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa headcanons #sakusa kiyoomi headcanons #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #semi headcanons #semi eita headcanons #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu headcanons #shirabu kenjiro headcanons

[komoreangel]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 (𝐫𝐞𝐪)

pairings: childe and kaeya x f!reader (separate) 

scenario: your boyfriend knows you tend to be calm and reserved, and one can only imagine his surprise when he sees what you’re like on the battlefield. 

request: Can I request Childe and Kaeya with an s/o who is usually stoic and doesn't fight enemies much, but when they're fighting some treasure hoarders or hilichurls she loses control and becomes bloodthirsty for a fight?

reply: aa this is a really good idea anon props to you + ive been wanting more kaeya and childe works so i hope you enjoy this ^-^ 

childe 

childe knew you were calmer than most people

he didn’t mind it, in fact maybe even enjoyed it

you were one of the few people who could calm him down, too 

he had been reluctant to take you with him on missions before

but after hearing you had received a request to clear out some nearby hilichurl camps around liyue, he insisted on coming with you

to keep you safe, of course! who better than he, childe, the eleventh fatui harbin-

you shushed him in the middle of his monologue 

you went not today queen :D 

“hey, i was in the zone!” he exclaims

you would laugh if it wasnt for the situation you were in

“there’s a huge hilichurl camp over there.” you whisper 

he looks in the direction youre pointing to 

surprise surprise, a hilichurl camp

two mitachurls and maybe six to seven hilichurls

“okay, i’ll jump in from that roof, and you-” 

he looks back to notice you’re gone 

you’ve begun to sneak towards the camp

“y/n, waIT!” he whisper-screams 

before he knows it you’ve charged both mitachurls, and are 

singlehandedly holding them all off

okay he thinks thats kinda hot

but uhhhh 

you’re lowkey bodying them 

“go babe you’re doing great” type of beat 

before he can even do anything, all the hilichurls are on the ground 

but you keep attacking them 

like you’re still swinging your weapon around?

“get up.” you poke at the poor hilichurl who you’ve decided to challenge

“you’re not dead yet, get up!” 

i kinda feel bad for the hilichurl ngl 

you start to swing your sword at it, before you feel a hand hindering any further movement

“hey, you beat them, it’s over.” 

you turn to look and childe is holding you back 

he walks you over to a nearby tent (left by the hilichurls) and sits you down

“i’ll get you some water, just try to relax, okay?” 

you dont want to relax you want to go back out and show that hilichurl who’s boss-

before you can do that, however, childe is back with some water. 

“here. drink.” 

you reluctantly do so and feel yourself calming down 

“you feel better now?” 

you nod, regretting that you lost control a bit 

he puts a hand to your shoulder, rubbing it at an attempt of comforting you

he helps you up and kisses your forehead 

“try not to get too excited, okay? you might tire yourself out.” 

you two head back to liyue harbor, with him seeming lost in thought on the way back

you reminded him so much of himself right after...the abyss.  

he wanted you to know there’s nothing wrong with it...but that it can be dangerous to lose control in a fight

however he doesnt want to assume your situation

so he’ll just try his best to calm you down most of the time 

but if you think he isn’t going to tease you about it later

oh boy 

“my sweet y/n is capable of such violence!!” 

until you’re groaning in annoyance :P

kaeya 

you aren’t all that energetic 

kaeya knows that you’re quiet and don’t tend to talk much

and thats okay!

it makes it a lot more fun for him to flirt with you :) 

he likes seeing you flustered 

so he decides he’ll take you along on one of his assignments to clear out some treasure hoarders from mondstatd

send ‘em running back to liyue, (sorry ningguang) 

his plan was for you to be all impressed at seeing him absolutely wreck those thieves

as you two are approaching he pats you on the head 

“dont worry, y/n, no need to be scared~”

you roll your eyes and shove him 

he takes your hand and leads you behind him as you sneak closer

“stay here, alright? i don’t want you to get hurt.” he kisses your cheek and then dashes 

you can hear the sounds of fighting from where you stand and you’re itching to join in 

after you hear your boyfriend say “cool it!” for the 7439853th time you cant stand it anymore and surprise attack the treasure hoarders facing him 

“y/n! i thought i told you to-” 

“sorry darling, just couldn’t hold back anymore, you understand, right?” 

he’s kind of shocked

since when did you-

how did you-

???? is that like battle flirting ????? 

he doesnt know where your confidence came from but he’s into it

you take on three of the treasure hoarders that stepped towards you and in an instant they are on their backs, groaning 

kaeya chuckles to himself

who knew his lover was actually quite skilled in combat? 

he goes over to interrogate them on why they’ve come to mondstatd 

when he notices you haven’t put your sword away

in fact you’re almost about to kill one of them-

he places a hand on your shoulder, dragging you away from the poor guys 

“hey, we’re not here to kill anyone, okay?” 

you have a faraway look in your eyes, like you’re not completely there with him

“y/n?” he’s confused now

he cups your face and looks at you

“look, it’s okay, i’m here, everything’s fine alright?” you blink and stumble a bit

“are you okay?” 

you drop your sword, a bit disoriented 

“yeah, i’m fine! just, uh...need a minute.” 

you sit down and stare at the sky above you

relax, y/n.

you close your eyes and when you open them, kaeya is standing over you 

he helps you to stand up and takes you by the hand, leading you both back to mondstatd 

he’ll ask you about it someday 

but for now he’ll just be there for you 

maybe flirt with you about it later lol

like asking if you could pin him to the ground :) 

he will publicly simp for you there is no stopping him 

a/n: im sorry this took so long lolol i’ve been grinding for venti’s rerun! goodluck to all of you who are rolling for venti or childe (or both i admire your ambition jhkgnfdsgl) and enjoy this! to hu tao havers: congrats! 

#kaeya x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x y/n #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact kaeya #genshin kaeya #genshin kaeya x reader #genshin kaeya x you #genshin kaeya x y/n #kaeya #kaeya genshin #kaeya genshin impact #kaeya alberich #genshin imagines #genshin x you #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x y/n #childe x you #childe x reader #childe x y/n #genshin impact childe #childe #genshin childe #childe genshin #kit.writings

[xythlia]

I saw that reply this morning of her being shitty on your pinned has that person responded at all to you?

this is the only time im gonna talk about it, because I don't want to be putting it all over ppls dashes when nobody really wants to see messy shit plus I'm personally over it but I can see why ppl would wanna know what's up with that if anything because it was a direct accusation in public.

It's been over eight hours since they made those accusations in my replies & I made that response post but they just immediately blocked me instead which tells me everything I need to know. They were previously involved in an incident over accusing someone of stealing a theme when they used the same post divider & blog color, then got upset when that person rightfully said they didn't own those things & that the internet is too big to be wholly original so I didn't really take anything they said all that seriously this morning bc of that history.

in fact that's why I blocked them originally, seeing posts about all that going down a few days ago I was like oh yea I'm not into mess so I don't want this person interacting with me in the future. and I didn't deny the similarities between our layouts, but considering mine is factually older than theirs it's just not possible I copied them so it was ridiculous from the beginning.

it's all derivative of someone else anyway which isn't a big deal bc there are differences that exist, looking at our pinned posts no they're not a 1:1 copy at all. that's a different issue & I get being upset over someone legitimately copying every last thing about a theme/layout bc everyone does work hard on making a nice pinned post but that just wasn't true here again it was factually impossible because my pinned + layout is older than theirs.

I'm not someone known for being mean or publicly embarrassing others bc that's not cool behavior & I really didn't wanna have to make that post but almost nobody actually talks maturely about anything online. not everything has to be handled publicly & messily, I would've been happy to just have a talk in dms bc some stuff absolutely can be handled privately without everyone & their mother getting involved but my hand was really forced this morning, especially when they didn't respond to me in the replies of my pinned where I stated again that I've had this layout since july I wasn't confident they'd respond to a dm directly. and please don't get mad on my behalf or anything, nobody needs to go baiting them or goading them into getting upset bc that's not okay either as someone who also has mental health issues I wouldn't wanna be put through that so I won't put someone else thru that. but yeah, ultimately nothing came of that this morning which is fine. I'm perfectly happy to move on & never talk about it again I just felt I should address it one more time bc outwardly there was no resolution to those public accusations which I understand is confusing when u don't know what, if anything, happened

#now back to our regular programming lol #𓏲 ࣪₊ 💭 \ inbox #tw discourse

[cunningambitousdetermined]

The Plan (Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader)

title: the plan

pairing: natasha romanoff x f!reader

warnings: mild swearing, mentions of homophobia, FLUFF with a dash of angst

summary: Y/N has been in love with Natasha Romanoff for a VERY long time and honestly, Tony is getting sick of watching it. Natasha has been in love with Y/N since the very first day and Steve can’t take the assassins obliviousness anymore. Steve and Tony, reluctantly of course, team up to make the pair notice how perfect they are for each other. (OH SHOOT IM SORRY I SUCK AT SUMMARIES WOW)

requested by @iamninaanna: 

Hey Sunshine, I love your writing, so I'm here to request something :) 

Can I please request a Natasha Romanoff × reader, where the Avengers are playing truth or dare, and somebody challenges Natasha to kiss the reader, or something like that, and then they confess their feelings to one another. I was having something in mind, I hope it's not to specific, that like Natasha rambles about the reader to Steve A LOT, and he's so sick of it, he has to do something about it, while it's the same situation with reader, just that she's talking to hers best friend, which can be any of the Avengers, you decide, and then Steve and the reader's best friend make a plan together, and well, you know the rest <3

Okay, that was a lot, but I'm really excited😊 Thank you if you write it!!

a/n (i think that's what i put when i’m responding, if i screwed it up please let me know, it would be much appreciated) :

hi taja! thank you so much, this is the first time someone has requested something and im really excited. but also terrified. more terrified. reader is a girl but if someone wants me to rewrite this as gender neutral, i can.  hope i do it justice and if your reading this, thank you for reading. if anyone has any feedback, it’s always welcome. okay here i go!!

the story: 

Y/N Y/L/N flopped backward on to Tony Stark’s bed, grabbed the nearest pillow and let out a angry scream into the unsuspecting piece of cloth and feathers. 

“Woah kid, what’d the pillow do to you?” Tony joked, his eyes still trained on whatever new gizmo he was working on, chuckling at his best friends antics.

“It’s fucking Natasha” Y/N mumbled quietly into the pillow, her voice muddled by the soft white sheets that she buried her head farther in. Tony was silent, the only sounds was the clinking of the Tony’s robots and tools working, so she assumed he hadn’t heard her. Not that she wanted him too anyway. 

Y/N was in love with Natasha Romanoff. Head over heels, fully in love with the assassin that she’d worked closely with for the past years. To describe how Y/N felt about Natasha in words would never to how she really felt in justice. Natasha was a tall glass of Coke: Orange Vanilla. Rare, unsuspectingly sweet, and utterly addicting. Her red hair, the black bodysuit, the way she fought, she could take down 10 men on her own, with her bare hands. She was sweet- always sharing her secret candy stashes with Y/N- smart -helping Y/N out when she was still taking classes. 

Sometimes Y/N really thought Natasha felt the same way, then she flirted with a guy here and hot girl there and the idea fled from her brain.  Y/N had never seen Natasha have an inclination toward women, she flirted with every living thing. Y/N liked to think it was a coping with feelings for someone and that's why she was so flirty but in reality, Y/N knew there was no way she felt near the same way. She was an extra to the Avengers. And besides, no one even knew she liked girls. 

“It’s what, darling?” Tony had moved and was now sitting in front of Y/N, spinning around in his chair like a little kid in their dad’s office.

Y/N wanted to tell him how in love she was with Natasha, she wanted to tell him all the little things she noticed, all the little things she loved. But she couldn’t. How would Tony take it? Tony might take it okay, but the team? Steve? Bucky? They were from the 40′s, women didn’t love other women openly back then, did they still think it was... unnatural? She didn’t think she could deal with being any more of an outcast. Did Natasha like girls? The thoughts were drowning her slowly, cutting off her air supply, the last bit of air building up into a scream that she would never let out. 

Tony coughed and Y/N realized she’d been silent for too long. “Tony....” she took a deep breath in, “I- uh-...,” Tony raised an eyebrow, waiting for to go on. Y/N coughed clearing nothing from her throat, elongating the silence before she just spit the words out like hot fire. “I’minlovewithNatashaandIdontknowwhattodo?” 

“You’re what?” Tony asked, having caught nothing of that sentence, something about Natasha but honestly he was still lost. 

Y/N felt a little better and slowed herself down. She trained her eyes on a seam in the comforter and whispered, “I’m in love with Natasha and I don’t know what to do”

There was a silence and Y/N could feel it smothering her, pulling her into the water, dunking her head under, she was drowning and, and and- Tony erupted in laughter. Y/N’s head shot up and she stared at him, color drained from her face. Tony rocked back and forth but when he came up again, he caught the absolute terror on her face and his smile dropped. 

“Y/N?” he asked softy, he stood up, plopping on the bed next to her, “Babe?” Tony tried to catch her eye, ducking his head but she turned away. He grabbed her chin in his large hands, “Babe, I wasn’t laughing at you. God, I’m such an idiot.” he blew out a harsh breath, “I was laughing because I already knew, not because you are in love with her.” Tony felt her face relax and he turned her chin to meet his eye. 

“You knew?” Y/N asked softly, tears still gathered in her eyes. Tony’s eyes softened as he saw the tears and he used the pads of his thumb to wipe them away. 

“I’m sorry Y/N. I don’t care if you like women. I’ve known you had some sort of feelings for Natasha for a while, you can see it when you look at her. I was just waiting for you to tell me.” Y/N laughed at this now and threw her arms around Tony, who wrapped her up in a hug. “Now, tell me more about Natasha and this ‘love’” he said, his voice muffled by her hair. 

~

“STEVEEEE” Natasha groans, letting down her normal assassins façade. 

“Mmm” Steve hummed in reply, motioning for her to come in to his room. She smiled and darted to the spinning chair in the corner, propping her feet up on the desk. It was silent for a little bit, the pair just enjoying each others company when Natasha spun her chair around and broke the silence. 

“Do you think Y/N likes women?” Steve already knew the Natasha liked women and he was totally cool with it. Nat has been surprised when he had been super supportive but was very grateful for all the love and reassurance he’d given her. 

“Nat,” Steve sighed dramatically, “She can’t NOT know your in love with her, unless she’s totally oblivious which she may be...” He turned to face her, jumping on his bed to be closer to her, “You should just tell her” 

“But...” Nat frowned, “what if she doesn’t like women? And I creep her out? And..” She stopped as she felt Steve lay a hand on her shoulder. 

“How could she not like you?” he questioned, “And trust me, it’s quite obvious how she feels.” 

“HOW SHE FEELS?!” Nat practically screamed, so unlike her that Steve leaned back. She cleared her throat, “Sorry- she feels...?” 

“She’s in love with you, obviously”

Nat grabbed a pillow from the bed and screamed into it, then looked at Steve, wary, “Really? Y/N with her...” Steve tuned out the rest of what Nat said, he’d heard it all before. Too many times. Nat sighed, in a happy way that Steve had never heard from her before, “Y/N...”

~

Steve knew that this had to end, Natasha and Y/N pretending they weren’t head over heels for each other. He’d heard enough of Nat’s wistful rants, it was so unlike her, it was starting to worry him. If he was correct in his guess, Tony was feeling the same way. So, despite Tony being, well, Tony, Steve sought him out to solve the mess. 

~

“Truth or dare, old man?” Clint smirked at Tony, all the avengers had settled for a night in and decided to play truth or dare. Y/N had rolled her eyes at this, they were too old for it, but settled in next to Tony anyway. 

“Dare, obviously” Tony rolled his eyes at Clint, eagerly awaiting his fate. 

“I dare you to stand on top of the tower and sing at least 30 seconds of ‘Rich Girl’ by Gwen Stefani and livestream it.” Tony laughed at this and stood up. 10 minutes and one livestream later, all of them were laughing harder then they had in a long time. 

“Okay, okay, my turn to ask,” Tony smiled, “Natasha, truth or dare?” Steve couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face, the plan was in motion. 

“Dare...” Natasha didn’t let her voice waver, her signature smirk on her face. 

“I dare you to kiss Y/N”

The whole room fell silent. Y/N’s face flamed and her eyes filled with tears. Was this a joke? Tony knew how she felt. How could he? The eyes in the room were on Nat and her but she ignored them as she got up and ran out of the room. Tony’s eyes widened as Y/N darted through the door. 

“Nice going, Tony. You upset her.” Natasha’s glared at Tony, angry. But inside she couldn’t help but wonder if she ran because she didn’t want to kiss her. Maybe she hated the idea. Maybe she didn’t like women after all. Nat got up, she had to face this. “I’ll go get her” She dragged her hand over her face and got up. Tony and Steve exchanged a glance as she left, hopefully this wouldn’t blow up in their faces

~

“Y/N!” Nat yelled down the hall, “It’s me, I’m sorry Tony was a jerk. Can we talk?”

Y/N heard Natasha’s voice and faltered, she had to face this at some point. She took a deep breath, letting the cool confidence she had on missions fill her. 

“Yeah, I’m here Nat” She called back and within seconds Nat ran around the corner. Nat’s eyes softened as they looked into Y/N’s beautiful eyes, still just as mesmerizing, puffy and red. Nat took an unconscious step forward, her thumbs caressing the hidden tear streaks. Y/N’s breath caught, her heart flipping at Nat’s touch. Before she could think about it, Y/N leaned up and let her lips meet Nat’s. Nat responded immediately, pulling Y/N to her, wrapping her arms around her, teeth tugging at her bottom lip. Y/N groaned into the kiss, letting her fingers card through Nat’s hair. They pulled away after a minute, smiling like idiots. Y/N looked down slowly before glancing back up shyly at Nat. 

“Um... I really like you Nat” She whispered, with a smile

“I really like you too Y/N” Nat chuckled, pulling her in again for a sweet, soft kiss. It said everything they hadn’t said. All the nights of longing, the confusion and the love. 

Tony, Steve and the rest of the team watched from the security room, smiling and high fiving at the happy couple. 

AHHH I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!! feedback is always appreciated!!

tagging: @iamninaanna (to be tagged when i write something just drop me an ask)

#natasha romanoff x reader #wlw fanfic #marvel #avengers x reader #tony x platonic!reader #steve x platonic!natasha #pining #fluff #hint of angst #marvel fanfic #my writing

[daegall]

In Le Trunk

Pairing: Na Jaemin x reader

genre: fluff, relationship establishment! AU, college! AU, slight (like if your squint really really hard you can see it) bad boy! AU (idk i just wrote that he’s hardcore-)

warnings: uhhh a bunch of fluff and YET ANOTHER JAEMIN WORK YES I AM IN MY JAEMIN FEELS

word count: 1.1k words

Network/s: @neoturtles

Your relationship with Jaemin had no titles. You were... together in a weird way. No official feelings, and yet you find yourself pecking his cheek whenever he had to dash to class. It was obvious to others that you had grown attached to each other, and yet they haven't heard you two started dating. Well, it was about time Jaemin made a move.

He didn't tell you any details, just a text that said 'come down.' Which was quite unusual from the usual 'if you don't come down im going to break into your dorm and smother you in hugs'. You wonder what's got him so serious. It's a bit strange to see him all fidgety and nervous around you, often times he would greet you with a kiss on the knuckles, but tonight all you got was an awkward wave.

You don't say anything about it, choosing to go along with whatever he's got planned for tonight's adventure. You can tell he's anxious, his eyes keep darting to the mirrors, something he said he didn't care about at night since there's nobody around. To calm him down, you reach out and entangle your fingers together, caressing his sunkissed skin softly. Jaemin’s hand goes stiff for a second, before it relaxes and grips yours back.

"So, what're we doing tonight, Nana?" That nickname. That damn nickname. It's got his breath hitching and heart beating fast, a smile itching to lift his lips upward. The boy glances at you, and you catch the playful glint in his eyes,

"Somewhere," he replies cooly.

"Are you going to murder me? There are no lights and it's completely empty here." You mumble, suddenly growing a bit tired by the vibrations of the car. Jaemin’s flawless chuckle fills the car, shooting straight to your heart strings. Okay, no doubt you've got something for him too.

"No, I found this place with a really good view, wanted to take you there." And suddenly, you feel the most awake you have in the past week. Who needs coffee when you have Na Jaemin? And plus, just being in the presence of someone who drinks ungodly coffee already has you springing up with energy just when he kisses you. Unintentionally, a big grin creeps up to your face and you fondly look at Jaemin.

After a whole 13 minutes of driving and a bit of chatting, Jaemin stops the car right in front of a road. You frown at the lack of variety, glancing right to left to see anything interesting. Slumping back into your seat, you cross your arms and pout, "There's nothing nice to look at. Just a stupid road and a bunch of grass." You grumble. Jaemin cooes at your upset expression, opening his door to get out.

Your eyes follow him as he walks to the back of the car, before you get out yourself in wonder. You stand back as Jaemin pops the hood of the car open, struggling a bit at the rustiness, you guess it's been some time since it's been open. He climbs in settling down with a sigh, before reaching his arms out to you. You don't question or object, relaxing in his hold and wrapping your arms around his waist.

It seems like you can't take your eyes off of the immaculate looks of his face, grazing each inch of his face and connecting each mole on his neck. Jaemin notices you staring, looking away from the view he was supposed to show you to your eyes, smirking when you quickly advert your eyes away to the front of the car again. He lets out a 'tsk', before clasping your chin with his thumb and index finger to drag your head back to face him.

"Look at the view, pretty." Despite rolling your eyes at the nickname, a smile replaces later in bashfulness, before you turn your head to the so called 'amazing view' he talked about before. And it shall be called amazing because it's absolutely beautiful. From up on a hill, you could see the small town you lived in, not too busy and not too bright, it's warm and peaceful, a bit different from being inside the town yourself.

You don't even want to say 'wow', or anything, really. The moment's too great too ruin with an over-used phrase. The only thing that you do is smile, resting your head on Jaemin’s chest.

Though he would love to see the view, the said boy would much rather take in your appearance right now. Eyes wide with what seemed like stars, cheek pulled in happiness, head resting on him. Sometimes he wonders how he manages to get you here with him, but that doesn't matter, as long as you are then he's not questioning.

Slowly, Jaemin drags your head yet once again to meet his, but unlike the other time, his face is inches from yours, and his nose is brushing against yours. With no words, you lean up to place a soft kiss on his lips, retracting your head to find his fond-filled pupils. He dives back down, planting an equally soft kiss, but this time, you two savor it and hold it for a lot longer.

It’s everything soft, a total contrast to his usual hardcore cocky aura he has plastered on when you’re both in campus. His lips are perfect and pillowy, enough to send you drowning into his embrace, hearts almost tangled together, and like every time you kiss him, there’s the slight tinge of coffee, even when he last drank it 3 hours ago. With a firm lock, the two of you pull away, and you finally seem to call the feelings out.

"I don't think you notice but, this is where it all started. We had our fist kiss here in the back of my old car," you finally realize it, lighting up when the memory refreshes your mind again. Jaemin continues, "Y/n... I know that I like you. A lot. So if you wouldn't mind, maybe you could fall in love with me too?" You almost burst out laughing at his nervous tone, but instead you shake your head slowly. The light in his eyes dim, but glimmer again when you peck to corner of his lips, "I've done that about twenty times, I think it'll be too much for my heart if I do it once again."

The giggle he lets out is pure happiness that causes you to break into laughs as well, your laughs filling the night breeze with love. You don't care at this point, you could fall in love with Jaemin 100 times and it would burst your heart, but that’s the cost of being with Na Jaemin. And plus, you’re pretty sure you can survive heart leaps every 25 minutes if you survive the kisses full of bittersweet coffee.

#nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin x reader #na jaemin #na jaemin imagines #neoturtles

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural.  YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!”  because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine.  The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009. 

Which I will be renting soon I guess.  ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?]  ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL 

First date.

They then eat each other.  Literally they eat each others flesh.  They also do it while dirty talking about it.  SPN IS A SHOW 

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day.  The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to 

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine. 

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen.  Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity).  Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need.  It consumes souls (demon and human alike).  

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL 

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins.  Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode.  Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl.  In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN 

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL 

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM 

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL 

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important.  but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL 

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate.  they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex.  they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful.  and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN 

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL 

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat?  He is starving for red meat?  You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?!  No way.  Absolutely no way.  This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup.  Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling.  Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.  

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable.  and it is SUPPOSED to be.  Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited.  For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean.  Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.   

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN 

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM 

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN 

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM 

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again.  sex/lust to gluttony.  hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW -  *takes deep breath*

 this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry.  Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE 

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN 

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE 

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! 

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. 

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. 

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for.  That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious.  It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala.  But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.  

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.  

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh. 

Wanna know the kicker?  

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void​ im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta.  you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

#yes I did do a meat meta #and what of it #destiel #spn #spn fandom #supernatural #spn family #myspnmeta #my spn meta #hellerism #deancas #longpost #spn analysis #spn 5x14 #spn bloody valentine #meat meta #<- I do not even want to know or see what else that tag would lead to

[hongism]

under my skin - khj x jwy 18+

pairing; jung wooyoung x kim hongjoong genre; pwp, smut, 18+ wc; 7.2k summary; wooyoung should never have admitted that he liked hongjoong bossing him around, and he most definitely shouldn't have done it so publicly. aka hongjoong knows how to get under his skin and god damn if he doesn't do it fucking well. warnings; explicit smut, fingering, oral sex: m, dirty talk, praise, a lil bit of degradation and humiliation if you squint a/n; hi 😳 so uh this was an impulse writing moment whoopsie but also yeah this is my first mxm work as well as my first mxm smut so yeehaw im going all out on the first one huh :’D as always feedback is appreciated esp since this is something new to me and idek if it did it well 😳

​​​​

On the list of things Wooyoung knows he definitely should not have done, openly admitting that he is both attracted to Hongjoong and enjoys it when the leader bosses him around on a Christmas live of all things is at the very top.

“He was just sitting on the couch, and I was about to go back to my room then he goes ‘Hey Wooyoung, get my meal ready’. I thought ‘this is the first time someone has treated me like this’. It was — it was attractive.”

Seonghwa’s eyes had flashed with panic the moment the words left Wooyoung’s mouth, clearly picking up on exactly what he meant behind those words. He managed to bite out a strained and awkward laugh that grated against Wooyoung’s ears for far too long. Then, if he hadn’t done enough damage, not even two minutes later was he opening his mouth to spew some further nonsense after staring holes into the side of Hongjoong’s head.

“In that instance, I was attracted to Hongjoong when he treated me badly.”

Except it was not merely that instance. It was – is – far more than that, and the coy smirk that had stretched over Hongjoong’s lips spilled the truth. That Hongjoong knew his power over Wooyoung well before he even admitted it.

That instance had indeed started it all, but Wooyoung does not know how he had spiraled with such haste and intensity. Sometimes, it isn’t even his fault. His body just reacts to something his hyung has said, and he has to force ugly thoughts to the front of his mind or grab the thing closest to him to conceal the raging boner he’s left with. Wooyoung distinctly remembers the first time it became a serious issue though.

It was during a dance practice, another one of those awfully late nights that had everyone on edge, and Wooyoung was already dizzy with exertion before Hongjoong even opened his mouth. Then Yunho and Mingi decided to start fucking around with the choreography and making funny faces at each other in the mirror. Wooyoung knew he was in for it the moment he saw Hongjoong’s normally soft and gentle features flash with a barely contained rage. Then Hongjoong reeled on the pair, eyes flashing a bit of anger as he told both boys off, before shifting back to face Wooyoung now. The younger had choked on his saliva just from the intense eye contact.

“Go reset the music, Wooyoung.”

Wooyoung’s cheeks burn with shame to think back on it now because he had most definitely squeaked out the most pathetic “yes sir” known to all mankind and scampered over to the computer to do as told. He had to shove the palm of his hand down so hard against his growing erection that it physically hurt, but it got the job done, and that’s all Wooyoung could have hoped for in the heat of the moment. If anyone noticed his dramatic reaction or thought it to be odd, they decided to spare him the embarrassment and did not mention it.

Then came the practice a few weeks later when Hongjoong was working twice as hard as usual to prepare for awards season. Everything had to be squeaky clean for all the performances. That led to Wooyoung being both blessed and cursed by the sight of a certain Kim Hongjoong in an all too tight-fitting black tee with sleeves rolled up over his shoulders and sweat dripping from his chin to the floor.

Now Hongjoong may not be the most muscular or lean among the group, but god, Wooyoung was positively salivating at even the barest glimpse of tantalizing skin under that shirt. It felt wrong and dirty to thirst after his bandmate – his leader – in such a public way. Hongjoong made things ten times worse by shifting to look Wooyoung in the eyes, brow arched dangerously high and a sharp gleam to his eye that had Wooyoung sweating more than he was before.

“Hey Wooyoung, grab me a water.”

Just simple and straight to the point. Not even a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’. Wooyoung didn’t need one. He was rushing to follow the order like a good little boy in mere seconds, and the smirk Hongjoong awarded him with nearly made him blackout on the spot. A smart little quirk to one corner of his lips, the other side staying completely still. Hongjoong looked so mean and condescending in that moment, yet Wooyoung ate it right up without even batting a lash. His cock twitched to full attention behind the confines of his grey sweatpants, then he was moving out of the practice room at breakneck speed, desperate to get to the bathroom as quickly as possible.

He had slammed the door behind him and flipped the lock with desperate fingers before stumbling towards the sink to splash his face with cold water. In the reflection of the mirror, he could see how red his face had gotten, the red hue deepened to a scarlet that was only accentuated by the sheen of sweat clinging to his skin. Embarrassing. It was so fucking embarrassing to get off to the idea of Hongjoong bossing him around and being mean to him. Wooyoung had hoped that the water would quell him enough to bring him back to the practice room without being weak enough to jerk off in the company bathroom. Those hopes were dashed when the dastardly image of Hongjoong standing across from him with that cruel smirk floated to mind.

Wooyoung slipped his leaking member out and fucked the tight ring he formed with his hand at record-breaking speed, not stopping until he painted his fingers white with hot cum. And if not for thinking to lock the door, he would have been caught in the act too, because not even ten seconds later was someone knocking and banging at the door.

“Wooyoung? You good?”

Thank fuck it had just been San and not Hongjoong himself. If it were Hongjoong, then Wooyoung is certain that he would have caved and told the man exactly what he was doing without any resistance whatsoever.

“Y-Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Just needed to pee! I’ll be out in a minute!”

He thought that that instance would be the worst of it.

Hongjoong proved him sorely wrong.

In fact, if anything, those instances seemed to increase in frequency. Hongjoong would corner him just to deliver a sharply-spoken order then grin as Wooyoung fervently followed the order without complaint or whining. Wooyoung would be forced to dart off to the nearest bathroom and cum into the palm of his hand to curb the raging horniness in his system. And after he was done, he would pull himself out of the bathroom with his head hung low in shame, not ever noticing the way Hongjoong stood not far off with that same smirk as always painting his pretty lips. If Wooyoung ever whispered a breathless “hyung, please” to himself while jerking off, then he would deny it with his dying breath because that would be too close to admitting how desperately he wants Hongjoong.

Such a stark contrast to how he behaves with Seonghwa, as San noted one day. Sure, Seonghwa would ask him to do things but Seonghwa would ask, accentuating his words with a ‘please’ and making sure to thank Wooyoung afterward. And Wooyoung would always whine no matter what Seonghwa would ask of him. The reason being — well, for two reasons actually. One: Seonghwa isn’t Hongjoong, and two: Wooyoung secretly (read very secretly) loves being ordered around like he’s not good for anything else.

The full admission on Vlive must have been the breaking point for both of them though. Hongjoong was trying to hide himself behind his hands as a faux sign of embarrassment, but Wooyoung could clearly see the curling smirk and hungry gleam in his eyes when he saw past those small fingers. It felt almost like Hongjoong could eat him alive on the spot, and Wooyoung would just roll over and let him.

Whatever Wooyoung had expected to happen after that fateful live left him sorely disappointed because Hongjoong did absolutely nothing. Didn’t comment on it, didn’t tease him about it, acted like it didn’t even happen. Even when Seonghwa granted him a sharp slap upside the back of the head and Yeosang muttered something about Wooyoung being into some kinky shit, Hongjoong huffed out a quiet laugh and led the way out of the room.

Was Wooyoung upset? Both yes and no. He saved himself from heaps of humiliation even though he admitted it in such a public manner, but he would be lying if he didn’t say that he was somewhat trying to egg Hongjoong on a little. All these months of teasing and playing only for him to do nothing? This had to be some sort of blue balling, at least that’s what Wooyoung whined into his pillow before Yeosang and Jongho entered the shared room behind him.

“Who’s blue balling who?”

“No one, Yeo! No one! I didn’t say that!”

Wooyoung is tipping closer and closer to his breaking point, and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he absolutely snaps. That fact is what finds him hesitating by the back of the couch a few days after the aforementioned Fateful Vlive. Hongjoong sits on the cushions, arm slung casually behind his head as always, and Wooyoung is truly trying his hardest not to drool over the sheer attractiveness the position exudes. It doesn’t help that Hongjoong has been driving Wooyoung up a wall all day with his teasing.

First, it was light touches during breakfast, ghosting fingers over his bare forearm that sent goosebumps all over his body.

“Is something wrong, Wooyoung?” Hongjoong had asked like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“No, no, hyung. Just haven’t fully woken up yet.”

That was a lie but oh well. Wooyoung has lied about worse things in his life.

Then after breakfast, Hongjoong had leveled him with a sharp stare and ordered him to pick up the dishes for Seonghwa. Wooyoung didn’t even have time to jerk off in the bathroom afterward because San and Seonghwa dragged him off to play some game before he could make a hasty escape to the bathroom.

“You called for me, hyung?” Wooyoung manages to ask without a stutter to his tone. It’s a miracle truly because when Hongjoong’s voice boomed through the hallway and found him in the bedroom, Wooyoung almost melted.

“Yeah, get me some coffee from the kitchen.”

Now, if it were Seonghwa asking him, Wooyoung would whine and complain. Say that he’s on the fucking couch which is literal steps away from the kitchen and he has two perfectly (sexy) functioning legs that could easily get him a cup of coffee himself without needing to call Wooyoung all the way from his bedroom to get it for him. It is, in fact, not Seonghwa asking him, however; it is Hongjoong, and Wooyoung will be damned if he doesn’t obey the order without even a breath of complaint.

“Sure, of course, hyung!” He chirps in response to hide the shaky smile on his lips. His legs feel like jello but he puts them to use anyway, carrying his body to the kitchen to prepare a mug of coffee just the way Hongjoong likes because of course, he knows exactly how Hongjoong likes his coffee. Once he has finished perfectly preparing the drink, Wooyoung carries it back to the couch and goes as far as to step around the armrest to deliver the mug directly into Hongjoong’s hands.

“Good boy.”

The words are unmistakable. It’s a miracle that Wooyoung pulled his hand away when he did otherwise he would have most definitely dumped piping hot coffee all over Hongjoong without being able to stop himself.

“H-Huh!?”

Hongjoong blinks up from the rim of the ceramic mug. Not an ounce of shame coats his features. Wooyoung knows that hiding behind that cup is his trademark cruel smirk, and that sends him reeling.

“I said good job. You made it just the way I like.”

Wooyoung needs whatever deity or spirit or entity out there in the universe to backhand slap him to high heaven. Hongjoong did not say good job. He said good boy, loud and clear without so much as a stutter to his tone. Wooyoung stumbles back regardless and excuses himself with a hasty mumble about needing to go to the bathroom. He can only hope that his flustered state of embarrassment mixed with tingling humiliation is not as noticeable as it feels like it is.

���I wasn’t done with you.”

Wooyoung has to bite down on his tongue to keep from whimpering at the tone of Hongjoong’s voice combined with those words. He dares to glance back at Hongjoong over his shoulder. The leader is now on his feet, mug of coffee left forgotten on the table in front of the couch, and Wooyoung can find only a single word to describe the look in the man’s eyes.

Hungry.

“Go to my room. We need to talk in private.”

Wooyoung should experience a surge of panic – any normal person would be petrified to hear those words from their leader – but the words go directly to his dick instead. He whips his head forward once more and makes the short trek to the end of the hall without once looking back to see if Hongjoong is following him. He knows the man is though, the steady shuffle of socks on the wood floor tells him that much. Wooyoung half expects Seonghwa to be inside the room when he enters, ready to defend himself and say he has no clue what’s going on, but his taller hyung is nowhere to be found. Hongjoong doesn’t let Wooyoung stay distracted or confused for long; he trails a daring hand over the expanse of Wooyoung’s shoulders, lifting off at his bicep as he steps past the younger man to get into the room. He then drops to the edge of his mattress with blazing eyes and regards Wooyoung with a full-body stare.

“Shut and lock the door.”

There is so much potential behind those words. All the months of sexual tension and teasing and practical blue balling could all be paid off right now, and Wooyoung is not about to let that opportunity slip through his fingers. He jerks into action, spinning around and slamming the door shut with more force than is necessary, and the lock clicks into place a moment later.

“Hyung—”

“It’s always hyung, isn’t it?” Hongjoong taunts, cutting Wooyoung’s thought short. Frankly, Wooyoung has no clue what he was going to say anyway so thank goodness for Hongjoong interrupting him before he made a bigger fool of himself. Hongjoong pushes himself off the bed to step closer to Wooyoung. He closes the distance between them in a matter of seconds, and Wooyoung is still too slack-jawed to react even a little bit. “With Seonghwa hyung, you are always so whiny and bratty. Can’t do anything he says when he tells you to. Always need to talk back and mock him in return. But with hyung, you are so needy. Pliant. Obedient.”

Hongjoong is not bigger than Wooyoung. Not by much at least. He is hardly taller than him, but Wooyoung has shoulders that are a tad broader, features that are a bit sharper, and a face that is just naturally more stern when all his muscles are relaxed. But in this moment? Wooyoung feels impossibly small. Like Hongjoong is meters taller than him, bigger than him, stronger than him, better than him in all ways. His leader has power and control over him. He’s able to make him do whatever he wants with a simple command, and Wooyoung could combust from the mere thought. It gives him a sick rush, one that makes him want to get on his knees and beg for Hongjoong, but he won’t dare do that unless Hongjoong asks him to.

“What is it you want from hyung, Wooyoung?” Hongjoong catches a finger on the underside of his chin, lifting his head just enough so that he can look the other man in the eye. Wooyoung forgets every word in existence as he meets Hongjoong’s burning gaze. His jaw stutters, he blinks dumbly at the brunette, and nothing comes out of him. Hongjoong twists his finger into two now, squeezing down on either side of Wooyoung’s chin until the impact burns a little. “I asked you a question.”

“Y-You,” Wooyoung breathes out shakily. “I just — I want you.”

“That doesn’t sound quite right, darling.” The words catch Wooyoung a bit off-guard at first, and the use of the small pet name has his gut blossoming with too much warmth to be normal. Hongjoong tugs him closer just to drape his pretty lips over the curve of Wooyoung’s ear. Hot breath sends shivers down his spine, and Wooyoung does his best to keep his knees from buckling when Hongjoong speaks again. “That doesn’t sound like the begging I hear coming from the bathroom so often these days.”

Wooyoung’s cheeks are alight with both embarrassment and shame. Hongjoong heard him. Heard him jerking off quietly in the bathroom after every single time he taunted the younger man. Heard his desperate pleas and wishes that it were his hyung touching him and not the warmth of his own shameful hand. Hongjoong pulls back to look him in the eye again, but this time it feels ten times more intimate and inviting.

“Try again, baby. And this time, tell me a safe word so I know when to stop.”

Oh, Wooyoung is fucked, and he’s fucked in more ways than one, that’s for certain.

“I, uh, red. Yeah, red. Red for stop, green for go,” he rambles while blinking like a madman. Hongjoong huffs out a dry laugh.

“That’s step one,” he says, tone as even and steady as ever. “Now tell me what it is you want from me, Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung truly wishes he could put up more of a fight. He wants to complain or whine or be even a little bit of a brat in response rather than just caving without pressure. Yet here stands Hongjoong, maintaining that iron-tight hold over him without the slightest bit of effort and forcing Wooyoung into complete and utter submission with a simple command.

“W-Want hyung to – to kiss me and tell me that I’m his good boy. Want him to stuff my mouth full of cock and fingers until I can’t speak be-because I talk too much. And for him to order me around l-like it’s the only thing I’m good for. T-Talk down to me and – and humiliate me because it feels good when hyung taunts me. I… I r-really want hyung to fuck me open and use me until he’s filled me to the brim with cum.” Hongjoong’s pupils are dangerously large, so blown out with lust and desire that Wooyoung feels himself slipping deeper and deeper into their embrace. Even though the words came from his lips and he spoke them into existence, it feels as though Hongjoong reached down his throat and pulled them out himself. It has to be that because otherwise, Wooyoung would not have the confidence to be so bold about his desires.

“Look at you,” Hongjoong sneers. His tone turns mocking in the blink of an eye, and it causes Wooyoung so much whiplash that his head actually spins even though he hasn’t moved an inch. Hongjoong’s free hand snakes downward, finding the jutted bone of Wooyoung’s hip and brushing over it in a taunting way. The leader caresses the soft band of his underwear, then suddenly Wooyoung is positively choking because the man cups the prominent bulge of his erection and gives a teasing squeeze. “So hard just from following orders? Are you so pathetic and desperate to be a good little boy that you would do this for anyone? Or is it only hyung?”

“J-Just hyung,” Wooyoung squeaks out, pressing his thighs together to alleviate some of the growing pressure in his underwear. That answer isn’t enough to satisfy Hongjoong though, and he tugs a bit harder at the younger’s chin.

“Which one? Last I checked, you had more than one hyung.”

“You! You, hyung. Hongjoong hyung.”

“Good boy,” comes the taunting coo from Hongjoong’s lips. Wooyoung really does whimper this time, lower lip jutting out as he releases the shaky sound, and he practically falls in on himself. He probably would too if Hongjoong weren’t holding him so tightly. “If I had known that would have such a strong effect over you, I would’ve said it much sooner.”

There’s a certain insinuation to his words, one that tells Wooyoung that Hongjoong has been purposefully riling him up for a long while now. Hongjoong drops his chin and lets his hand fall away from the other’s cock. Wooyoung misses the pressure immediately, reaching down to replace the hand with one of his own, but Hongjoong slaps the back of his wrist harshly.

“Don’t you want to be good?”

“Y-Yes, sir!” That little word slips out against his will. Hongjoong’s eyes go wide for half a second before settling back into their steady, hungry stare. When he smiles this time, it is a full and blinding gesture that has Wooyoung’s stomach doing little somersaults. That must be the boiling point for Hongjoong’s desire though; next thing Wooyoung knows, Hongjoong has a hand clasped tight around the back of his neck and the man is yanking him forward until their lips collide in a mess of teeth and saliva. It feels positively filthy, but Wooyoung takes it in stride. He lets a surprised moan slip through, and Hongjoong swallows the sound with his mouth, tongue not wasting any time in dancing over Wooyoung’s lip. The younger grants him access to his waiting mouth. His jaw falls slack and his tongue would probably loll out if Hongjoong were not pressing so fervently against him at the moment.

Wooyoung truly is fully pliant before Hongjoong, and he can’t even get his arms to function enough to wrap around the older. So he just stands there, applying an ample amount of pressure to Hongjoong’s lips when the other isn’t fucking his tongue into his mouth, and waits until Hongjoong pulls back to breathe. As it turns out, he doesn’t get much time to catch his breath because his hyung’s mouth and hands are back on him moments later.

Cold hands brush at the skin near Wooyoung’s hips, slipping under the fabric of his shirt to gain more access. Hongjoong mouths his way down to Wooyoung’s jaw where he nips and sucks gently at the skin. It’s not enough to leave a mark, but something tells Wooyoung that the marking will come later. The older hoists his shirt up, tugging and pulling until it’s over Wooyoung’s head and tossed off to the side. Seonghwa will most likely complain later. Although if this is going the direction Wooyoung thinks it is, Seonghwa will have many other things to complain about so he doesn’t dwell on it much.

Besides, Hongjoong’s hands are far too distracting for that, currently tracing soft patterns over the expanse of Wooyoung’s exposed skin until dipping lower to grab both his sweatpants and underwear in one go. Wooyoung helps him tug the material down and bends a bit at the waist to fully discard the garments. He finally processes how he is now fully nude and Hongjoong has not taken even an ounce of clothing off, and when that sinks in, embarrassment burns at his skin. He withdraws his hands to his body, curling tight around his waist in a desperate attempt to cover himself up. Hongjoong is still attached to his jaw by the lips, but he can feel the movements between their bodies enough to know what is going on.

Fingers latch around Wooyoung’s forearms.

“Sweet angel, you have no need to cover up around me,” Hongjoong murmurs against his skin. His hot breath meeting the cool trail of saliva over Wooyoung’s jaw causes goosebumps to rush over his body, along with the sudden lack of clothes to keep him even a tiny bit warm. “Let me show you how pretty you are.”

Hongjoong pulls off his neck with a wet pop and steps an arm’s width away. He makes a full show out of the way he strips himself. Splayed fingers drag down his sides before catching on the hem of his shirt. Inch by inch, he exposes more supple skin, lean muscles straining and working under the movements, and when he tugs his shirt loose at last, Wooyoung ogles the way the tendons in his neck bulge a bit. He doesn’t get a chance to breathe though because Hongjoong fumbles with the buckle of his belt and tugs the leather loose. He doesn’t toss it off to join their shirts off to the side; rather, he throws it onto the bed, eyes holding something that leaves Wooyoung with the sweet taste of anticipation. Although that might just be the taste of Hongjoong on his tongue because he is still dizzy from the short kiss. He continues to stand as still as a statue as Hongjoong tugs his pants down, thumbs hooked around the band of his underwear too. Slowly but surely, the man exposes himself to Wooyoung, and the younger would be lying if he said his eyes didn’t go straight to Hongjoong’s cock.

It’s a bit shameful to admit, but Wooyoung has spent many times in those frequent bathroom trips fantasizing about what Hongjoong might look like underneath all those clothes. Seeing each other nude is something that happens often; however, Hongjoong always makes a habit of taking showers last or coming home so late that no one can see him. Wooyoung initially thought that it was an, for lack of a better term, insecurity about size deficit but looking at him like this now, Wooyoung can clearly see that that is not the case.

He’s a bit thicker than Wooyoung, not so much longer, but definitely holding more girth and curve to his member. A lump rises in Wooyoung’s throat at the thought of finally having the man in his mouth among other places. He has to clamp his teeth down on his lip to keep from openly drooling over the sight of Hongjoong’s body. The bit of solidarity in being fully nude helps Wooyoung’s confidence quite a bit, but it’s Hongjoong’s next comment that sends him spiraling.

“I wonder how pretty my little Wooyoung would look on his knees for me, hm?” His little Wooyoung. Yeah, Seonghwa is gonna have to cart Wooyoung’s dead body out of this bedroom once this is all said and done, because he is close to a heart attack as it is and Hongjoong has hardly done anything. Hongjoong picks up on the way Wooyoung’s breath hitches at those words and lets that dangerous smirk slip through before turning back to his bed. He moves to it without hesitation, and Wooyoung just watches on without daring to move before he is told to, eyes wide with curiosity as Hongjoong pulls a pillow off the bed and drops it to the floor. In the same motion, Hongjoong props himself on the edge of the mattress and nods his head towards the pillow. Wooyoung’s brain doesn’t process the action quick enough because he stands there with a dumbfounded expression on his face for far too long before it sinks in that oh Hongjoong wants him to kneel between his legs on a pillow.

He moves towards the bed on shaky legs, all but collapsing on the pillow once he reaches it, and Hongjoong greets him by dropping a hand to his hair and carding his fingers through the dark locks there. His hair has grown a bit, just enough to have his bangs fall into his eyes whenever the hair isn’t tucked back. Hongjoong tucks a few of the stray locks behind his ear before reaching lower to cup Wooyoung’s chin in the palm of his hand.

“Do you want another command, baby boy?” Now that has Wooyoung’s gut turning every which way, and he nearly squirms where he sits because goddammit there is not enough pressure on his cock and he is nearing desperation.

“Y-Yes, hyung.”

“Then suck me off, yeah? I bet you’d look so pretty all wrecked and fucked out with a cock between your lips.” Those words are oh so sinful and go directly to Wooyoung’s gut, knocking the air out of him with ease. Hongjoong doesn’t stop there though. He curls his fingers up to press against Wooyoung’s lower lip where he teases and tugs at the skin until it’s swollen. Wooyoung drops his jaw to let those same fingers push down hard against his tongue, and he almost gags at the sensation, but fuck, it’s so worth it. Hongjoong’s fingers are heavy on his tongue, a steady and tantalizing weight that begs what is to come with his member. Wooyoung can’t resist the urge to swirl his tongue between the digits and takes them a bit deeper. He sucks softly at Hongjoong’s skin all while blinking up at the man, his leader, his hyung with wide and shining eyes.

When Wooyoung locks gazes with him, he could cry on the spot because that little half-hearted smirk is back on his lips, and this is exactly what Wooyoung fantasized about in these past weeks. Being leveled only with that stare, forced into submission with mere words — Wooyoung is truly living the dream.

Hongjoong retracts his hand, pulling his fingers loose of Wooyoung’s lips too soon for the latter’s liking, but he doesn’t have room or time to complain. A hand threads through the hair at the back of his neck and drags him forward until Wooyoung is met by Hongjoong’s fully erect member. The unspoken command is there but still Wooyoung waits until he gets the verbal one, so desperate to be told what to do in that condescending tone Hongjoong holds.

“Well, go on. It’s all you’re good for, isn’t it?” Wooyoung’s cheeks could not possibly flush any darker, but if Hongjoong keeps this up, he might just find a way. The burning sting in the corners of his eyes is practically euphoric, the taste of humiliation on his tongue as he leans forward to give a single, testing lick to the head of Hongjoong’s cock, and Wooyoung is the one to moan when he closes his lips around Hongjoong. The older simply lets his head fall back, hand still tangled in Wooyoung’s hair as he begins to sink deeper on his cock.

Hongjoong tastes of sweat, a stark saltiness on his tongue as he gets about halfway down his member, but Wooyoung’s brain is so high on arousal that he also tastes somewhat sweet. Wooyoung can’t get enough of it. He drags the flat of his tongue over the underside of Hongjoong’s member, feeling for each vein and ridge along his shaft as though trying to memorize the feel. Hongjoong grips Wooyoung’s hair a little tighter. His nails scrape over the younger’s scalp, and a distinctly pleasant burn throbs in that same spot. The idea of Hongjoong’s dainty, painted nails dragging over his skin is too much for his imagination, and Wooyoung reaches a hand up to grasp the base of Hongjoong’s cock before sinking as far down on him as he can go. He chokes around him there, throat pulsing at the sensation of the tip pushing deeper, and Hongjoong releases a loud groan. The sound sends a surge of confidence through Wooyoung along with the knowledge that he drew that noise out of Hongjoong, he made him feel good, he did a good job. He whines weakly around Hongjoong, sucking in as much air through his nose as he can, then he returns to bobbing his head along the length of him.

“Fuck, look at you. Somehow still so noisy even with a cock to keep you busy,” Hongjoong mumbles, biting back another groan. Wooyoung squirms thanks to the words and sneaks a hand down to palm at his weeping cock. “I didn’t tell you to do that.” Hongjoong spats the words with such vehemence that a bit of spit slips from his lip and catches on Wooyoung’s hair. If he didn’t jerk his hand away from his cock, Wooyoung might have cum right then and there because of how damn hot the action is.

Hongjoong tugs hard at the younger’s hair and pulls him off his cock, leaving only a thin strand of saliva to connect Wooyoung to his member. The sight is as intoxicating for Hongjoong as it is for Wooyoung because the older hisses between his teeth then descends to plant a kiss directly over Wooyoung’s lips. He kisses back with a hunger and fervor that begs for more, begs for Hongjoong to do more, and it seems that that is exactly what the elder has in mind because he hoists Wooyoung up enough to trade places with him on the bed.

Wooyoung finds himself splayed out on the bed with Hongjoong looming over him, hair fallen forward to shroud his forehead and eyebrows, and he can safely say that his hyung looks positively menacing in the best way possible. Hongjoong presses a single gentle kiss to the tip of Wooyoung’s nose – an action that has his heart constricting painfully in his chest before Hongjoong drags his lips down the curve of his cheek. He mouths at the sharp edge of the younger’s jaw, letting out a quiet exhale that has Wooyoung shivering. He dares to be bold enough to bring a hand to the older’s hair as Hongjoong reaches the curve of his neck and bites at the skin there.

“F-Fuck, Hong — hyung,” Wooyoung whimpers, hips bucking up to meet nothing but air. Hongjoong presses the heel of his hand down hard against Wooyoung’s hip and keeps him pinned to the bed with that simple touch. The way Wooyoung unravels under him is nothing short of beautiful and mesmerizing, the perfect catastrophe to watch unfold piece by piece until he is writhing and begging with his body for more. The younger doesn’t even see Hongjoong move his arm, but when he sits back, he holds a small bottle of lube in his hand, lid popping open to squirt the clear liquid over two fingers.

“Color?”

“Green,” Wooyoung exhales quickly. “So fucking green, hyung, please just hurry up.” Hongjoong arches a brow then clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“You waited weeks for me to corner you like this. I think you can wait a little bit longer.”

“If you recall, I was jerking off in the bathroom begging for you to fuck me senseless every other day, so no. I don’t think I can wait any longer,” Wooyoung huffs out in response, resituating a bit on the bed so Hongjoong can spread him open properly. The other man bends over him with teeth flashing as he grins. He catches Wooyoung’s lobe between those same teeth and nips at the skin until Wooyoung moans loudly.

“Next time you try to do that I’ll be sure to follow you. And maybe make you scream a bit for good measure. You’d do that for hyung, wouldn’t you?” Hongjoong sinfully enunciates the word, and it affects Wooyoung so much that his vision goes spotty for a few seconds.

Fuck, Wooyoung is not going to survive. His heart is gonna give out before he can even get fucked. Hongjoong chuckles under his breath as he gauges the younger’s reaction. His lubed fingers slip between Wooyoung’s legs and trail lower until he brushes over his puckered hole. He starts with just one finger, pushing into Wooyoung so slowly that the younger thinks he’s gonna die of old age by the time Hongjoong finally settles the digit inside him. He squirms a little under the man’s weight.

“I’m not gonna break, hyung. You can go harder than that.”

“And I will. Be patient.” Wooyoung lets his body go slack at the sound of that; it’s a half-hearted command at best but still a command nonetheless, and it continues to have the same dastardly effect over him as always. Hongjoong continues to wiggle his finger around bit by bit until he deems Wooyoung comfortable enough for another, and the next stretch is so pleasant that Wooyoung’s lashes flutter as he pushes a second finger in.

“Hyung,” he whispers, tone so breathless that it almost sounds like just a sigh and nothing else. Hongjoong lifts his chin to look the younger in the eye.

“Hm? What it is my baby wants?” There Hongjoong goes again with that little possessive word that has Wooyoung melting under him.

“Want – want you to kiss me please.”

Hongjoong answers by dropping his lips atop Wooyoung’s, starting out with a barely-there pressure that only grows in force as he starts to fuck his fingers in and out of Wooyoung. The younger can only gasp and moan into the kiss. He forgets what it means to be quiet as the pleasure takes over, too lost in the sensation of Hongjoong’s lips and body and everything. They’ll surely get an earful later, but Wooyoung is not about to let them take this away from him so he is going to be as loud as possible while he can.

A third finger finds its way into Wooyoung. It draws an even louder moan from his lips, the pads of Hongjoong’s fingers brushing just shy of that elusive spot where he wants to be touched so badly.

“P-Please, please fuck me, hyung. I can’t – I can’t wait any longer, I just n-need you in me now.”

Apparently, Wooyoung should have led with that because Hongjoong almost growls and pulls his fingers out of Wooyoung, snatching up the lube again and squirting more onto his palm. He jerks hastily at his cock and warms the liquid on his member before guiding himself to Wooyoung’s eagerly awaiting hole. When Hongjoong at last starts pushing into Wooyoung, the younger sees stars in his vision and his brain empties of all coherent thought. It is everything that he could have dreamed of and better, for fuck’s sake, it’s the best feeling Wooyoung has ever felt in his life and he might cum after just a single thrust of Hongjoong’s hips.

He manages – by sheer miracle for certain – to last a bit longer than that. Hongjoong starts slow, rocking his hips gently against the backs of Wooyoung’s thighs. In time though, the pace grows until it’s hasty and absolutely brutal. Wooyoung can barely catch his breath long enough to moan between thrusts with the speed Hongjoong keeps up. Skin slaps hard against skin and leaves the lewd sound to resonate alongside Wooyoung’s high-pitched moans and Hongjoong’s much softer grunts.

Words continue to tumble from Wooyoung’s lips in the height of his pleasure, but it’s just nonsensical ramblings that range from “more, more, fucking more” to “yes, hyung, there, right there”. He grips desperately at the sheets under his body in a desperate attempt to ground himself from the dizzying amount of euphoria running through his veins. Every nerve in his body is alight with all sorts of sensations, and despite still not having cum once, Wooyoung truly feels like he’s being overstimulated to absolute filth.

He doesn’t even feel it when he actually does reach his high – cock twitching and spurting hot ropes of cum over his stomach completely untouched by either himself or Hongjoong. It’s almost embarrassing how easily Hongjoong made him orgasm; Wooyoung brings his hands up to cover his reddened face in the humiliation of the action. A choked and dry sob rips through his parched throat, cock weeping uselessly against the vee of his abdomen.

“F-Fucking hell, you’re so beautiful,” Hongjoong grunts through his thrusts. Wooyoung’s body reacts on its own, preening at the sound of the praise despite his neverending embarrassment. That sends Hongjoong over the edge right then and there. His hips stutter in their quick thrusts, then he’s pressing flush against Wooyoung and cumming hard in him. His elbows buckle, causing him to topple on top of Wooyoung’s chest and smear the semen painting his stomach and chest. It doesn’t seem to bother the man one bit though as he just lifts his chin and drapes his lips over Wooyoung’s like the softest and warmest blanket on a cold day.

They stay like that for too long probably, just kissing and nipping at each other’s lips in the laziest manner, and Wooyoung doesn’t even mind when the cum between them starts to grow sticky. He releases a content sigh as Hongjoong slips his lips back down to the underside of his jaw – apparently his favorite place to kiss given how much he’s done so already – and dares to speak.

“Good talk, hyung,” he rasps out, throat burning from the mere effort of the words.

“The fact that you had the balls to say something while we were live but not the first hundred times I cornered you,” Hongjoong grumbles against his skin, and Wooyoung huffs out a weak laugh.

“You could’ve interrupted my, erm, bathroom trips at any time.” Wooyoung smiles a bit to himself and draws a hand up to comb through Hongjoong’s sweat-slick hair.

“Next time I will.”

“N-Next time?”

“I can think of many other ways I’d like to have you, and many other things I’d like to do to you. If you’ll let me, that is.”

“Yep! Yes, yeah, you got it, sign me up, I am on board. Don’t even need to convince me,” Wooyoung rambles, cheeks flushing dark again at the insinuation in Hongjoong’s words.

“Good. Now, let’s get cleaned up before Seonghwa gets back.”

“Where’d you send him off to anyways?”

“I just told him we were gonna talk and he disappeared.” Hongjoong shrugs as he pulls his body free of Wooyoung’s and climbs to his feet, albeit on shaky legs. The younger tilts his head to the side with a bit of confusion gracing his features.

“That’s all it took?”

“Well, I told him I would be doing a majority of the talking and it would include my mouth doing positively sinful things to your body, but… we had a change of plans, didn’t we?” Hongjoong glances down at Wooyoung, passing a teasing wink his way, and for the last time (at least Wooyoung hopes it is the last time otherwise he really will pass out) his lips curl into that signature smirk.

“We can make up for it in the shower.”

...

this work belongs to calypso, hongism. all rights reserved, 2020. do not translate, copy, or repost.

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