Tumgik
#i kinda have like one parental figure in my life who i really trust wholeheartedly
dreaminginvelaris · 3 years
Text
A Response to a Feyre Anti
I made a post recently explaining the dread of having to watch Feyre be abused by her sisters and father, in the Tv adaption. And a Feyre anti made a response, to something that should not be criticized at all considering what I said was just the truth? Feyre was abused. Not only that but they went on and completely twisted the narrative to fit their own ideas and in the process made Feyre out to be cruel and Nesta a saint. complete bull.
I will not be tagging the anti bc they have me blocked (shocker), but also I do not want anyone to go after them, if you come across the post, I don't want it to be through me. it's as much respect I can give to them.
I usually do not respond to those who have something to say with a post of mine or are blatantly talking about me on their blog, unless they're just spreading absolute lies about me or what i "said", it's usually a waste of time to do so. but this post attacked Feyre with outrageous lies and a complete backward interpretation of what actually happened in acotar, so as respectful as I can be, I will be analyzing the anti-response and what truly happened in acotar.
"the audience will only see two sisters fighting-not abuse" "it’s not Nesta you need to worry about. It’s audiences calling Feyre a big dumbass and a bitch" -from anti
if the audience has basic human compassion and empathy for humans IRL or fictional, they will see what's obvious from the start. Feyres abuse. how is it going to look, when they see Feyre walking through the woods, shaking from the cold, starving from hunger, and struggling to find food for her family? only to later see Nesta's treatment of Feyre?"
Tumblr media
in the anti's post, they said Feyre was just as "heinous" to Nesta.
is Feyre the one calling Nesta a pig? a smelly pig? ordering her to take her clothes off?
no, it's not, it's dear Nesta. the text goes as "I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to bark at her" oh yes... how cruel of Feyre. how heinous of Feyre to...stay quiet... at the verbal abuse.
in the same image we see Feyre ask Nesta to do something (kindly might I add) and then inquire why she didn't chop wood like she needs to.
what does Nesta do? acts like a brat and insults Feyre...once again.
considering I'm going off by the story and not the actual screenplay, and assuming they stay true to the story; will the audience not be disgusted by Nesta's behavior? I mean they just saw Feyre struggle to find food and they expect Feyre to go home to a family happy and appreciative of Feyre but instead, they get this familial abuse.
Tumblr media
the anti said Feyre basically tells Nesta this:
"If you keep bitching at everyone like this no one will want to be around you or you can’t marry this guy because you’re a waste of space to me"
but what do we see?
"Believe me... the day you want to marry someone worthy, I'll march up to his house and hand you over. But you're not going to marry Tomas."
the word worthy, did that not catch your eye? Feyre said Nesta will have to marry someone worthy, someone, who will treat Nesta kindly and give her the life Feyre thinks her sisters deserve. bc Feyre does think that IDK why anti feyres think Feyre despised Nesta so much, Feyre loved her sisters.
what the anti fails to realize here is that Nesta marrying Tomas would have been actually pretty great for Feyre. in the sense that, Feyre would no longer carry the burden of her sister. Feyre would not have to worry about feeding one more mouth. or worrying about Nesta's constant stealing of Feyre's money. Feyre does not think Nesta is a "waste of space" to her, if she did, it would have been easy for Feyre to discard Nesta, and allow her to marry Tomas. the anti has that twisted.
but that is not even the worst part of the scene. did you see the shameless slut-shaming that came out of Nesta's mouth? how will the audience take to that? do you think most of the younger generation will take it lightly to see a sister slut-shame a sister? a woman putting down another woman? in this social climate? where the feminism movement is alive and flourishing. will they be okay with it? will they still blame Feyre and be mad at her the way the anti says they will be? I hope not otherwise I'm losing faith in humanity.
Tumblr media
Lovely words Nesta spews at Feyre. I admit Feyre should have told her then and there that Tomas is abusive. but let's think: Feyre is 19 years old, the youngest, has never had any raising by a parental figure, has been neglected by her whole family, where would Feyre learn to calmly talk to an overgrown brat like Nesta? Feyre telling Nesta who Tomas truly is the duty of a parent, not a sister. I will not condemn Feyre for not knowing that was the perfect time to tell Nesta who Tomas is. especially when Feyre is being tormented and verbally/emotionally abused, its kinda hard to think about something else while you're being told all these horrible words. to us its easy to see where Feyre went wrong but unless you're in the exact position Feyre was in. no one has any room to talk. and even then, every person is different in situations like these.
this part was me analyzing the interactions between Feyre and Nesta since anti had reasons to believe Feyre was just as bad to Nesta and that the audience would see that and hate Feyre. I am now going to respond to the second part of the Feyre Anti's response.
"How will an audience of non-fans react to her not reaching out to her family to tell them she was okay after the reconciliation between her and Nesta? Or not inviting them to the wedding?"- from anti
moving onto acomaf now.
Idk maybe the audience will see Feyre, a depressed, lonely, individual in an abusive relationship while being manipulated by other individuals she called friends, and understand and empathize with her. all throughout the beginning and half of acomaf, Feyre is in critical depression. she wholeheartedly believes she should not be alive. that she is not worthy. she doesn't eat, all she does is sleep, self-care is not important to her or others so why would letting a family know she's okay, a family who BARELY ever cared about her, be a priority? it doesn't seem like Nesta or elain or her father was really fazed by Feyre's lack of communication. her father left on a trip, elain got engaged and Nesta, well we didn't see a tearful welcoming to Feyre on Nesta's part did we?
anti, where is the outcry of her "family" not even really caring if Feyre was safe or not, of what happened to her? it's not like they thought she had died, otherwise, where was the mourning or funeral? no, they just didn't care.
see this is where I know when anti is just full of bullshit. why, WHY, would Feyre invite her family to wedding full of fae? the creatures elain and Nesta fear and hate? for all the talk many anti's spew about Feyre being inconsiderate to Nesta, to her family, you would think Feyre maybe just knows a fae wedding would be the last thing they would want? even then, does Feyre owe them an invitation to her wedding? does she owe them an update on her life? nope. Feyre owed them nothing.
"How about her shit-talking Nesta to a bunch of strangers then having the audacity to ask her to get involved in a war. Oh! This is after she comes into her house and insults their hospitality." - from anti
I hardly think Feyre confiding in individuals who she learned to care about and laying out all the trauma Feyre endured with her family is "shit-talking" but for argument's sake, let's say it is. I still don't see what's wrong? after years of pent-up anger and hurt, would you not let go of everything you withheld inside and explain what was done to you? how you felt? Feyre telling the IC her life story, which contains Nesta's abuse and her family's neglect, was a form of therapy for Feyre. I never read a line where Feyre calls Nesta a "cold-hearted bitch" or called elain "a lazy ditz" she just said the truth. no added embellishments. Cassian was the one who shit-talked Nesta during the dinner scene, never Feyre.
I still don't understand why antis are so against Feyre asking her sisters for help? like the war didn't involve them? they're humans, and you know what the war was about? Hybern wanting to take control of the human lands like they once did and turn them into slaves. those humans included Nesta and elain.
"They could have left the continent" correct, except elain was engaged and refused to leave Grayson. which meant Nesta refused to leave elain. but even so, isn't it the duty of humans to band together and work to overthrow a race of people who want to torture and keep them as slaves? the queens certainly weren't doing their jobs. Feyre asked to use "their" house to meet the queens bc where else would they do it? the queens trust the fae less than Nesta or elain did. but even so, Feyre asking to use their house was a courtesy, that house is rightfully Feyre's. she is the one who sacrificed herself to leave with Tamlin. she did it bravely, courageously, and they got that house thanks to her. they owed Feyre everything. and the only one who acknowledged that was Elain.
that war involved elain and Nesta whether they or Feyre or the anti's liked it or not. not even considering that Nesta and elain are Feyre Archerons sisters, yeah, their family name alone puts a target on their back.
How did Feyre or the court insult Elain's and Nesta's hospitality? You mean when Feyre realized human food differed from fae food? something she did not know about bc she's barely been turned to fae and only had eaten fae dishes? Feyre's grimace towards the human food was an involuntary reaction to someone who is still learning their new body. or was it when Cassian called out Nesta for her cold treatment towards Feyre? if that's the case then fuck decency, I would call out a fake bitch in my presence from minute one. you cant call what Nesta did "hospitality" when all she did was insult Feyre when she didn't even care that Feyre had died, or lost her love bc of abuse, or that her body was changed against her will.
hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.
did y'all read something different bc this for sure was nothing Nesta gave to her guests?
----
the rest of the anti post moves towards Rhysand and his actions UTM which I won't go into because I'm mainly just addressing the false interpretations this anti had to say about Feyre and her family.
I'm not sure how to sign off now lol, but I guess just that I hope this was enough to show how this anti's arguments were completely ludicrous and have absolutely no compassion for Feyre, and instead all the compassion for Feyre's abusers. This anti had a real spin on what the actual story was, and I hope the evidence I provided was enough to show that. Anyways yeah my brain is fried, and I'm done arguing with Feyre anti's for a while now, I need to go praise my queen Feyre so I can receive some semblance of peace.
anyways, stan Feyre for clear skin xx
201 notes · View notes
hiro-gari · 3 years
Video
youtube
Batarou songfic - “MIRACLE” by: Little1993lamb
Hello I’m back again with more Batarou content! 🙋😉💕
This time is not exactly headcanon, but instead I recommended you a heartfelt yet also hearwarming song: “キセキ” or “Kiseki” (Miracle) by Uemura Kana.
That song is kinda fits Batarou relationship. It’s best to consider the song was from Garou’s POV when he reflected about his life with Badd since their fated meeting until they’re become together as lovers.
Also, I was inspired by recently Batarou sketch from @the-goddessfighter, as I wrote the last scene of this songfic based on the drawing: https://the-goddessfighter.tumblr.com/post/643602679242883072/
Please enjoy this little songfic! 😉💕
—————————-
*The song lyrics translation:
Your eyes shine like an innocent child Before I knew it, I was chasing your smiling face all the time
I want to raise the loving feelings now like a flower that begins to bloom in my heart
I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything looked different
I looked up at the blue sky; even though I’m this close to you The closer we are, the further we get; we’ll only get separated
Now the love song flows in my heart Can you hear the sweet melody, too?
It’s not a coincidence we met then It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul and I’m always, always looking at you
I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything changed that day
It’s not a coincidence we met It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul I’m glad that I met you in this world
—————————–
Based off the lyrics, please listening to the song while imagining this kind of scenario..
—————————–
–🌸 Your eyes shine like an innocent child Before I knew it, I was chasing your smiling face all the time 🌸–
Garou just realized that he always Badd’s genuine tender smile and those sharp eyes full of adoration in which he showed for Garou only.
Never had thought that the delinquent hero has a very soft side that almost like an innocent child, not as a brute fighter teenager.
Before the former hero hunter knew it, he was chasing Badd’s angelic smiling face all the time. He yearned to make Badd smile for him even just for the slightest.
–🌸 I want to raise the loving feelings now like a flower that begins to bloom in my heart 🌸–
Garou wanted to convey this blooming romantic feelings for Badd, as it grows bigger throughout time the more he spends time together with the beautiful hero.
–🌸 I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything looked different 🌸–
Ever since he was a little kid until now, Garou never knowing nor receiving true warmth. Not from his absent parents, not from his friends, not even from Bang.
It was Badd who taught it to him, giving it unconditionally day by day during the time they have spent together. So patiently healing and comforting Garou’s wounded heart without fail.
The moment Garou realized he was falling in love with Badd, he couldn’t tell anything to him. He didn’t know what he supposed to say because he just experienced it for the first time in his life.
Everything looked so different once Garou tasted what first love is.
–🌸 I looked up at the blue sky; even though I’m this close to you The closer we are, the further we get; we’ll only get separated 🌸–
Back then when they were still on different sides, Garou had tried to get closer to the hero “Metal Bat” on that fated day. And he was succeeded at doing it as Garou fought him, getting as close as possible to him in a one-on-one combat.
Also for the second time of their encounter in different battlefield, where Garou showed Badd a different side of him.
But the closer they are with each other during those situations, the further they have got. They would only got separated as it became more clearer Badd and him were on two polar opposite: Garou was a monster villain and Badd was an S-Class hero. The ultimate evil vs the ultimate good.
Garou had already convinced himself that Badd was just as the same as the other S-Class heroes who mocked his defeat and wanting him perished.
But he was wrong. Badd was coming to defend him, shielding Garou from any judgemental eyes by his own wrecked and bloodied body.
And just before Garou took the chance to run away, he could see Badd’s understanding smile for him.
–🌸 Now the love song flows in my heart Can you hear the sweet melody, too? 🌸–
During the time of him being fugitive, Garou couldn’t forget of what Badd had done. He wondered if he would meet the kindhearted delinquent hero once again someday, somewhere.
Unbeknown by himself, a newfound feeling has grown in Garou’s heart, filling it with so much yearning and longing. Just like a poetic love song, Garou dedicated it to the beautiful hero.
Could Badd also heard and feel it, too?
Then one day, Garou’s wish came true. He met Badd again for the third time when Badd found him trying to do his best to blend with society by working on part-time job, paying off all of his crimes he had done in the past.
And this time, Badd offered Garou to live together with him. So Garou wont be alone and lonely anymore.
Even more, Badd also encouraged him to become what he wanted all along: a hero.
–🌸 It’s not a coincidence we met then It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul and I’m always, always looking at you 🌸–
Garou believed that it was not a coincidence they have met then. It was a destiny, a “miracle” that allowed them to connect with each other. To understand each other despite the rough beginning. Something that Garou have been searching for after all this time. And he found it in Badd.
For him, Badd is the mirror that reflected his soul. Maybe even the perfected mirror of what Garou himself could be if he just believed in himself.
Badd is everything that Garou really wanted to be. A hero.
The brave, strong, yet very kindhearted one. Someone who doesn’t seek for a popularity and just doing what he should do to protect people he loves.
Secretly smart and have good intelligence to use it in battlefield, despite people’s misjudgement. Always choose to fight in a fair game, never being a bully. Using his strength when he was on duty only, not flaunting it in front of people to show it off.
Doesn’t afraid to show kindness and his softer side to people who need his help, treating them with so much patient and tenderness.
Protected the outcast, weaker kids, and encouraging them to reach whatever they have been dreaming for, as Badd himself was also an outcast kid back then. Doesn’t believe in absolute justice, as he believes in fairness.
An ideal hero, just like what Garou has always wanted to be. His ideal hero.
That’s why Garou will be always, always looking at Badd. He will be always looking at him with deep respect, admiration and adoration. Giving Badd all of appreciation that he definitely deserved.
As a hero, and also as a person.
–🌸 I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth You were the one who taught it to me The moment I felt the love I couldn’t say, everything changed that day 🌸–
Ever since Garou lives together with Badd, he feels so blessed by Badd’s warmth presence. No matter how damping or ruined his day, Badd has always makes sure to shower him with love, support, and comfort.
Garou, who doesn’t know how to accept genuine affections before, slowly warmed up to Badd. He learned what is love and how to reciprocate someone’s love from Badd. Learning how to trust someone who believed in him.
Badd was the one who taught Garou all of that.
–🌸 It’s not a coincidence we met It was a miracle that we searched for You are the mirror that reflects my soul I’m glad that I met you in this world 🌸–
Both Garou and Badd believed that their fated encounters were not some coincidences. Those are a “miracle” that they have been searching for their whole life.
To find, complement and complete each other. In the all of imperfectness of their own that could be filled with the other’s. So they would be perfecting each other.
To become soulmates.
They’re so different yet also very similar at the same time, like a reflection on a mirror, which revealing their souls inside; their true self.
Once Garou and Badd recognized the other’s true self after having long way of mutual pinings, they immediately embraced each other, uniting and solidifying their love in a happy confessions.
It was a miracle that Garou finally found someone who understand him and being a half part of him.
Now that they have become lovers, Garou wanted to appreciate Badd wholeheartedly. He will cherished him for the rest of his life..
–🌸 “…” 🌸–
Today is their 1st dating anniversary and he asked Badd to walk together with him, going out to watching the Magnolia trees blooming on the top of City S’ highest hill. They always go there whenever they wanted some peace or to refreshing their mind after long missions together, it eventually becomes their favorite private place.
Finally reaching the place, they stood under a huge Magnolia tree, enjoying the magnificent sight of it from below. It’s already on spring season so all of the flowering trees were already blooming, including this tree they’re currently standing under.
Badd was mesmerized by the majestic panorama around them. The spring breeze of wind made the pink Magnolia delicate flower petals falling down onto the ground.
Some of them were landing on Badd’s silky messy hair, which making Badd looked even more prettier. Garou couldn’t help but admired the angelic figure of his beloved hero beside him.
Garou wanted to tell Badd that he’s the most beautiful man Garou ever seen and made him fell in love the second he laid his eyes on Badd, a dignified person who has a great talent as a hero, has a pure and soft heart.
With tenderness, Garou approaching Badd and embraced his boyfriend tightly from behind. His arms encircled Badd’s waist protectively, as Garou gently kissed Badd’s nape and the soft flesh on his neck.
Feeling his boyfriend’s intimate loving gesture, Badd just looking at Garou behind him with loveliest smile and such adoration twinkling in his eyes.
Badd slowly put his own hands on top of Garou’s hands, enveloped the colder hands with his own warm ones. Their fingers intertwined to emphasize their intimacy in such romantic moment like this.
Then, with his rare tenderly voice, Garou whispered his deepest feeling of gratefulness he has for Badd into his ear:
– “I’m glad that I met you in this world, Badd. Thank you for having me in your life. Gonna loving you forever.. ” –
Badd was blushed at that moment Garou take a look of him with that stupidly soft grin, and whispered again that Badd looked beautiful as ever.
The young hero was chuckling lightly as an immediate response, simple yet joyful smile showed on his face. Only for Garou.
Finally, Garou kissed Badd’s cheek and caught Badd’s plushy lips for some heartfelt kisses.
They proceed to share their sweet moments together under the Magnolia tree, where noone else was around to witness them.
Celebrating their Miracle together, just two of them..
——————————
🌻 THE END 🌻
—————————–
Notes:
So how was it? 😳✨ I’m so sorry if the songfic was so messy and mostly makes no sense, as it was only a bunch of jumbled incoherent words 😅💦
Also, I apologized if I lately didn’t write much headcanons or ficlets like before. Writer’s block combined by burnout and demotivation thoughts hits me hard nowadays 😢 But I’ll try to keep going so the Batarou fandom still have new contents, hope you guys wont get bored of me yet, ehehe 😊😆
Special thanks always being delivered for: @hiro-gari, @the-goddessfighter, @kaincuro, @guby1620, @garous-nipple, @jusqu-une-etudiante, and @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas, also all of Batarou shippers in the fandom! 😘💖💖
By the way, to @the-goddessfighter: When I was listening to the song, I couldn’t help but thinking that the part of the lyrics on “I had gone up until now without knowing true warmth, You were the one who taught it to me” and “I’m glad that I met you in this world”, are kinda matched your super tender Batarou sketch illustration I love it so much! 😣💕💖
Thus I made this songfic based on both the song and your art! Think of this songfic as my way to cheer you up during busy weeks, hopefully you didn’t mind about it 😅🙇
Love you all, and hope you guys have many great days~ 😚😘❤💜💙💖💝🌸🌻💐
-Little1993lamb-
—————————–
~Lilia:
😭😭 Pulling at my heartstrings as always~ I LOVE IT!! These lyrics got me in my feels so much! The song describes their relationship so perfectly hnnnng 💕 Thank you for the translation and the fluffy scenario to complement it, this made my whole day!
21 notes · View notes
renaxwrites · 4 years
Text
Eleven
Tumblr media
.07 - Night Changes 
synopsis: the number Eleven had always appeared in milestones of your life. it was a constant, and you didn’t know why. but you would soon find out when you study abroad in japan and meet Him.
pairing: tsukishima x fem!reader
warnings: none!
masterlist: here :)
a/n: hello again! it’s been a minute, and I haven’t been posting as much due to spending most of my spare time keeping informed on everything going onion world. it really has been stressful and overwhelming at times, I’ll be honest. however, if ANY of you need anyone to talk to or rant, don’t hesitate to message me! the best thing we can do is support one another as human beings. sorry if this chapter is long btw, lol. hope you enjoy <3 (English will be in bold) (here’s a link to the song in this chapter)
previous || next
Moon is lighting up her skin. She's falling, doesn't even know it yet. 
Tsukishima was the most difficult person you’ve ever tried to read. Silent but deadly. It was the things he wouldn’t say that would leave you both curious and afraid all at once. 
Yet you were falling deeper into his schemes. 
You weren’t sure what to make of your short, yet intimate, moment with the boy. And it wasn’t helping that the number Eleven kept conveniently popping up more often, as if trying to send you signs about the situation. Tsukishima, being the wild card that he is, wasn't helping either. However, as time went on, you began to learn to read between the lines of his behavior. 
At home, there would be light brushing on shoulders. Stray hairs being tucked into the back of your ear. The way he can’t seem to look you in the eye when he acknowledges the quality of your photos every so often.
At school, it was just like nothing happened between you two. However, even though he kept up his salty demeanor, the others could tell there was a smidge of a soft spot reserved for you. 
As the trip to Tokyo was getting closer, the team started to kick their practices into high gear. You had decided change your photography time of the boys a bit shorter than normal from then on, so you can help out Yachi and Kiyoko. 
The boys were on their break, and many of them went outside to indulge in some energy drinks being passed out. You sit on the sideline and begin to zone out, not noticing Suga saunter over and plop down next to you. 
“Sounds like something’s troubling you. You alright?”
You turn to see a him offering a curious smile, with a light touch of concern. 
“Sound? Did I say something out loud? Aw man, that’s great,” you sigh, suddenly embarrassed.
Suga shook his head. “No, you didn’t. Thinking can just appear very loud at times. Wanna talk about it?”
You ponder for a quick moment, deciding it was safe to confide in the vice-captain. “Just...boy trouble. Basically the summary.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I can relate to you there,” he tips his head back and sighs. 
You flinch in disbelief. “What? You’re joking, right? And why would you be having trouble? I can’t believe it.”
He laughs. “Me either, sometimes. But yeah...”
There’s a beat of silence before he suggests, “I’ll share if you do. That is, if you’re comfortable. If not, totally understandable.”
“Actually, it would be nice to confide in someone with a different perspective. I mean, I love Yachi, but I don’t want to keep bombarding her with my guy troubles. So, sure,” you admit. 
“Yeah, it’s been a while for me too. So, go ahead.”
You explain the whole spiel with the number Eleven. You were careful when mentioning your family’s background. Although the conversation was light-hearted, you trusted Suga with your past, and were rewarded with comfort as he held your hand in support. He didn’t give you the familiar pity you usually got. Instead, he intently hung onto your every word. From the very beginning with your parents, to the linked pinkies with Tsukishima, Suga nodded along, waiting until you finished to offer his insight. 
Once you were done, you heave a big sigh. “Whew, that was a lot. Sorry for just dumping the whole shebang on you.”
“No need to be sorry, y/n-chan. I’m glad you trusted me. Now, regarding Tsukishima, I definitely can see something’s happening. Not just me, either, the whole team kinda figures he is feeling something about you that he doesn’t with others. But, now that you explained it, it makes perfect sense.” 
He places his hand on his chin in contemplation. “I totally feel how you do with not being able to ‘figure him out’. There are signs that I feel are really special with this guy, but then I overthink it, which then leads me to wonder if it’s simply signs of being nothing more than a friend, ya know?” 
You nod, “Exactly. Do you mind if I ask who it may be that’s leading you in circles?”
He chuckles. “Want to take a guess?”
You tap your lips, trying to recall any details he might have given. “Well, the only people I see you consistently hang out with outside of the club is the other thirds years. Definitely not Asahi. And you’re not pining for Kiyoko-chan like Nishinoya and Tanaka, so I’m assuming it have to be...Daichi?”
Suga playfully shoves his shoves his shoulder against yours. “Well look at you, big ol’ detective, you. Your first try. And yeah, it is.” He sighs. “At least that explains a lot that I’ve mentioned, huh?”
“Yeah. Seems like we’re both in a rut.”
You both laugh, then sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. 
He lights up. “What if...there was a way...to tell them how we felt...but without actually telling them?”
Confused, you look at him with furrowed brows and curious eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Well, next week the whole team and a few players from other schools are all going to get together at this little place downtown, just to have a ‘last hurrah’ before the tournament. Arcade games, karaoke, food bar, all kinds of fun stuff!” he starts to ramble about the place.
Gently cutting him off, you question, “But what exactly does this have to do with ‘confessing our feelings without actually confessing?’” You gesture little air quotes.
He goops your nose. “Did I not mention there was karaoke? Every year there’s a little tradition between everyone of having a karaoke session. Everyone has to sing at least once. Managers don’t have to, but there’s always exceptions!”
“So? Oh wait, don’t tell me...Suga noooo...”
“Suga yes.” he counters, knowing that you both know where this was going. “You and I will be up there together! Confessing without confessing! Is that a great plan or what?”
“Sure, Suga, but I don’t sing,” you try to worm your way out of his plan.
“Oh hush! Not everyone knows how to sing, but everyone knows how to karaoke. And besides, I’ve heard you sing before. You’re awesome! Those vocal chords could give an angel a run for their money.” he gives his blinding smile. 
You flush a deep red. “You’ve...heard me sing before? Where?! When?! HOW?”
He puts his hand up in defense. “It was outside the gym. A few days ago. You and Yachi were singing your favorite Ariana Grande song because you were both loudly trying to decide which album was better.”
You hide your head in your hands. “Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. Let me just launch myself into the face of the earth real quick.”
“Y/n-chan, you sing beautifully, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Suga takes your hands and makes you look up. “How about this. Today we were going to Ukai’s store to get some meat buns anyway. Let me walk with you and I’ll sing for you. I heard you sing, so you can hear me. We’ll be even that way. Okay?”
You consider it before agreeing. Once you said yes, Suga engulfs you in a hug, which you wholeheartedly reciprocate. 
“Alright, seems like the break is over. See you in a bit, y/n-chan!”
You break the hug just as the team walked back in the gym. A few people saw, but didn’t think much of it. 
The ones who did think of it were the two boys you and Suga just talked about. 
           ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
The whole team was in spirits for the most part. Who wouldn’t be when Coach Ukai was treating them all to meat buns?
Most of the boys were following close to the coach, eager for their treat. Especially the freak-quick duo, who obviously felt like they needed to have a race to the store.
Most players were walking in their respective groups and pairs, but the you and Suga managed to fade to the back of the pack, almost unnoticed. You both decided to slow your pace, to widen the gap a little between you and the others.
“Well, I promised you a song. Which one should I do?” Suga asked. You remember that he heard you sing but don’t remember what song it was that day.
“Sing the one I did when you heard me that day?” you suggest.
He laughs and puts a hand on the back of his neck. “You were singing it in English, so I only understood a couple words...would you translate maybe?”
Suddenly you remember. “Oh! It was ‘Moonlight’ by Ariana. Some of it I could only do in English for some reason.”
Suga let’s out a noise of realization, forming a small ‘o’ with his lips. “I know that one! My classmate showed me that song, it’s really good! But I don’t remember much to be honest.”
Feeling a tad bit braver, you suggest you sing it together, you with what you know in English and him Japanese.
“Good idea! Then we can kinda see what we sound like together. Okay let me hey look up the song on my phone...”
By this point, the team was way ahead, so it was assumed they wouldn’t hear you two. You both designate your respected parts to be organized in the vocals. Once you thought it was safe, the audio starts.
Suga begins the first verse.
“The sun is setting, and your right here by my side...And the movie is playing, but we won’t be watching tonight...”
To say he sang beautifully was an understatement. His voice was velvet, light feather tips tickling your eardrums. The soothing tones of his voice washed all your fear away, giving you the courage to continue with your verse.
“Every look, every touch, make me want to give you my heart. I be crushin’ on you baby, stay right where you are...”
Once you started, he eyes sparkled with wonder. Seeing his reaction be full of awe encouraged you to keep going.
“Cause I never knew, I never knew... You could hold moonlight on your hands, till the night I held you...”
Suga joins in to harmonize as you hold out: “You are my moonlight...Moonlight...”
The song eventually ends. Just in time for you two to arrive at Ukai’s store, where the rest of the team was already chowin down on there snacks.
You and Suga flatter each other with praise, with you even throwing in a pun of how his voice was like ‘suga’.
Your loud compliment-competition caught the eyes of the teammates.
“Well, that’s new,” Daichi states before biting into his meatbun.
The second-years, first-years, and Asahi glance over to the two of you intensely conversate.
“Do you think something’s up?” Asahi suggests.
“I’m not sure. It’s not bad, I’ve just never seen them talk one-on-one, so it’s surprising to see them together like that, that’s all.”
“You don’t think y/n-chan and Suga-senpai...like...like each other. Do you?” innocent and naive Hinata says.
Nishinoya and Tanaka immediately go on defense mode. “Not our precious manager!! She must not be tainted with the sins of men!! We must protect her at all costs!!”
A big sigh is heard, and the boys turn to the culprit, only to find Kiyoko and Yachi look exasperated.
“They’re not into each other. Just because they’re having a conversation about something they’re both passionate about doesn’t immediately assume that they’re into each other,” Kitoko shakes her head, causing them to second-guess their assumptions.
Yachi also shares her piece. “Boys. So gullible.”
“Agreed.”
The two girls turn and head home, leaving the boys to reconsider their assumptions.
“Probably not that big of a deal.” “Yeah she’s right, what’s the harm.” “Eh.”
Tsukishima, although he didn’t offer any comments, only showed his thoughts when you two walked home. Short answers. Slightly colder silence than usual. Bidding you a short “‘Night” before going to bed, instead of his usual “Goodnight y/n”.
You were unsure at his sudden change in behavior, but once you tucked yourself in, you see that Suga sent you a text: “So, are you in on the plan?”
The time on your phone changed to Eleven o’clock.
“Let’s do it.”
Does it ever drive you crazy...Just how fast the night changes?
taglist: @jiminslonglostjams @fantasymirror @shewastheriot @lukes-princess @iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire @its-bnha-babe @desi-studys @shootooooo @noya-senpai-imagines @animefan7420 @anpancari @tsukkx @cadabby @thoebe-fly @it-was-just-a-ship @imconfusedanditsok @alexa360b34st @delicious-peaches-blog @shinguchi @creammy0 @fandoms-on-main @smellybananaz @keikink @tsukiak4ri @skyguy-peach
67 notes · View notes
tannerpan · 4 years
Text
How I found Faith in Atheism
I know I said that this blog was for my Spanish and Puerto Rico, but right now I got this feeling on my chest that I just need to let out. Thanks.
I struggle a lot with faith. In early childhood I was raised in a non-denominational church and was an avid reader. My parents left the church when they moved and I was too young to feel any sense of “faith” but I still retained all the lessons I was taught from the Bible. I moved to a very Mormon town, and there everybody ( at least all of the kids in my elementary school) accepted God and Jesus as a fact. So it kind of became more fact and history to me than faith, as the only time I prayed was before a meal at my grandparents.
My first questioning began in fifth grade. In fifth grade I went through a depression phase for a brief period of time because of family matters. It was then that I began to search for something intangible I could wholeheartedly trust. Thus, I read the Bible that I vaguely remembered from my childhood. I was horrified. I didn’t read the book straight through, it was more of a random opening of the book and read. Its funny the parts of the bible they avoid talking about in church. At the time the one that really hit me was the psalm about having good slaves. I was confused and hurting. How could this fact that there was a God and Jesus be so accepted?
I ignored what I had found and pushed it down inside of me. My family issues resolved themselves and I had no reason to think of it ever again. Queue my second questioning. I had discovered the internet in the form of Instagram. Seventh grade me was all over the place, adapting to the real world outside of my sheltered bubble, and the Internet pioneered that realization for me. My family had always been allies of the LGBTQ+ community, and I began to question whether or not I myself was straight. As more LGBTQ+ stuff popped up on my feed I started to realize that sexuality and religion didnt always go hand in hand. To me at the time it seemed I had to make a choice, the LGBTQ+ community or the religious one. With the help of a girl I met at summer camp who wasn’t straight, I decided not to loose my friendship over my unstable relationship with god. Thus I quit religion cold turkey. Quitting religion didn’t fufill me, although it made life a little bit easier without the threat of hell hanging over my head. But without hell, heaven, or god, I was stuck in a sort of limbo where I was back to searching what I was searching for in fifth grade. 
I decided that I needed to explore the religions of the world to find the faith that was right for me. I realized that this required lots of reading and traveling, so I decided I would remain faithless till I graduated or had the time. I’m a masterful procrastinator. Even so I did occasionally find time to read up a little on religion. One book in particular was about atheism. In reading the book I discovered more about the world of the faithless, and I found myself agreeing with a lot of the points they made in the book, but it also scared me. If there is no afterlife what is the meaning to normal life. Is it pointless? Am I insignificant? Is there no grand scene? And like the idiot I am I was left to deal with these questions without having the time to do the research and find my own answers. I would ask family members and friends what they thought, but none of there answers rang true in my heart.
Enter today. January 23rd 2020. I binge watch an unhealthy amount of Netflix, and today I watched from start to finish Devilman Crybaby (slight spoilers). As I finished it I sat in my room crying. And I kinda didn’t even know why I was crying tbh. It was sad, but I was so emotionally confused, so I looked online for answers. I felt the similar way about the ending of Banana Fish and I found that when you look online sometimes other people feel the same way you do but can actually put it into words. I figured, hey, if it worked with one show it can work for another, right. So I’m scrolling through Reddit, reading people’s comments analyzing the theme of the plot and ending and what not, and I come across one comment that turned my world upside down. You_and_I_in_unison says “the devil/ryo is a stand in for an attempt to justify human life. The end (of the show) is just the final moment of that life, of being above it all, of thinking human life is irrelevant because it’s all meaningless. Then at the end, you’re right, that’s true. And there, as you’re right there is nothing. Nothing to love, nothing to be, nothing to feel, nothing to think. Nothing.” When you die it doesn’t matter, because life is pointless. But its not meaningless, because everything you do, you do with meaning, and emotion, and in life nothing can stop that. What makes life special isn't that God created us, but that we create the world we live. We create our bonds, our lives. For me if I can trust in myself, I can have faith that I don’t need anything after I die, because I can create it all while i’m alive. I’m not saying life is major, or easy, or pretty or that your gonna get your dreams or shit but that your very existence adds emotion and meaning, and that’s all it needs to do. So to answer my original questions, Yes, but it doesn’t matter.
If you read to the end thank you for letting me share my journey.
2 notes · View notes
gloriousmishaps · 3 years
Text
since moving back home i’ve found i miss having a community of people to fall back on. my family is not a community, it’s like sharing a home w a bunch of rabid raccoons. i miss my roommates
4 notes · View notes
randomfictkin · 6 years
Text
Octo Expansion first impressions
I was honestly really excited about the Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion when it came out. I preordered it the same weekend it was announced and kept waiting for any and all updates on it. I was really excited about there being a brand new story and and new things to learn about the lore. I was really interested to see what game design innovations were there if any, and I was ready to play basically a version of Hero Mode only with good story.
I have to say, I'm pretty disappointed for a number of reasons with this addition to the game. I'll get into what I don't like in a minute though. First I'll nail what I find good about it.
the story so far is really interesting, and explores the psychological effects of the brainwashing of the Octolings. I like how they convey how disorienting everything is for Agent 8 and how they show that Octolings aren't actually evil.
the enemy AI is actually good this time, they're not just running around shooting at random stuff, they actually strategize their attacks on you, and it actually feels like you're taking out an enemy. I really can recognize the polish they put into making the enemies themselves a challenge to take on, and I appreciate the effort they put in to make the Octolings you fight actually feel smart.
the environmental detail is excellent, I love how interesting and detailed everything looks, not a single model in this expansion is placed in the environment without an intent in mind, from graffiti on the subway train to IV stands on the trees. everything is a hint and a view into the lore of the game, it's very interesting.
now for what I don't like about it... oh boy...
I can understand the appeal of a difficult game, the high challenge gives you a sensation of euphoria once you beat a level. you get to release everything for a moment and gloat in the fact that you just pulled off something that seems extremely daunting. there's a massive difference between an interesting challenge and unfair difficulty though, and Nintendo showed so little restraint that the game is way past both of those into the realm of nearly impossible. I don't know how they expected a mainstream audience to actually enjoy this, but it's not working for me. I don't like sitting down to play a game I paid about 80 dollars for only for it to punish me for not being quite good enough at it. don't get me wrong, not all of these levels are bad. there are one or two that I've played that I found myself thoroughly enjoying. the first level was fantastic, it had some serious challenge in it, and had a logical progression of difficulty from start to end, it was a truly great level, but it just kinda devolved from there. the next level I remember playing was one where you have to get through an obstacle course in an infinite version of the baller special within a specific amount of time. I really enjoyed this level, it was really hard, but exactly what I had to do was clear, and once I figured out how my approach should work, I accomplished it. another one was a rail based level where you have dualies and your one goal is to make it to the end without dying. it was cool to quickly react to anything and everything coming my way, and think my way around the enemies and hazards in my path. but contrasted against that, you have a stupid shooting gallery level where you need to hit 20 boxes without hitting any balloons, which in itself wouldn't be that big of a deal, it would have some interesting and cool challenges to it, and it would make you think, but if you don't do it in time, our main protagonist gets remotely detonated by the guy who plopped us into the level, which brings me to my next point.
C. Q. Cumber is one of the prominent characters, and owner of the subway train that's taking you to Inkopolis. he has a cool and cute looking design and on his face, he's a likeable character, but don't let that fool you, this sea cucumber is a sociopath. he'll take you to Inkopolis, sure, but you have to do 80 nearly impossible tests for him, and you have to pay him to participate in these tests, and if you mess up just a little bit, he'll inflate your backpack until it explodes, taking you with it. I wanted to like the character, I really did, but I have to say, I hate him so much. I had a stupid grin on my face when he appeared on screen the first time, but now I can wholeheartedly say that said grin has been replaced with a grimace.
Pearl and Marina have integral roles in the story too. I actually like what Marina does, that's some pretty nice stuff, but Pearl does some stuff that in my book, is really not okay. when you run out of currency to continue playing a level, even if you have enough to go back and grind on an early level(you will, trust me) she has the "bright" idea of removing some money from her father's account and giving it to you, making you pay it back to her. you read that right, Pearl forces debt on you. then the game has the nerve to treat you like a child and tell you "when you have debt, you should always pay it back" even though Pearl never asked you if you were okay with being put in debt. I would've said no if I was given the choice, honestly. personally, being in debt whether it's in real life or not seriously stresses me out, that's one of the reasons why I don't like living in the house I'm in, because something might happen and my parents go "ok you owe us now" despite the fact that it's insanely hard for me to make any money due to their own restrictions. I currently "owe" them $150 because they've asserted that it's not a big deal for them to force that kind of debt on me. so it's pretty obvious what Pearl giving me a "loan" of 3000 points reminded me of.
so far, I feel like Octo Expansion is really really promising, but I can't in good conscience call it a good expansion.
15 notes · View notes
namorres · 7 years
Text
prompt list!
and here are 477 prompts in which you can request things from. you can always request original ideas as well, so don’t worry!
(i’ll put it under the cut so i don’t murder someone’s dash)
“you must not blame yourself. not for this.”
“My future isn’t going to be like yours.”
“This was my mess and I need to fix it.”
“My hate for you cannot be measured.”
“Yeah uh – yeah, no. That sounds awful.”
“Please… don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me alone, not without you.”
“So that went well.”
“You’re awful. I love it.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, exactly?”
“Is that… lipstick on your collar?”
“Did you do this?”
“You know what? This place feels like home.”
“Oh shit. Am I – am I in love? That’s not supposed to be happening. That’s not right.”
“Who are you? Where am I? What is this? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?”
“Dear y/n – first of all, I’m so sorry. I really am.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“So what, you’re just gonna leave?”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out?”
“You really think you can beat me? That’s cute.”
“I’m tired of you. I really am, at this point.”
“Oh, just digging myself a grave, you?”
“Shh. This is my favorite part.”
“Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?”
“I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel toward you.”
“Is that necessary?”
“I don’t like it.”
“I’m getting bad vibes… we should go.”
“HA! Loser!”
“You wear me out, kid.”
“Is this a joke? This is a joke right, you’re joking.”
“The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days.”
“You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You kiddin’? That’s brilliant, c'mon!”
“So what do you say to this: you, me, a nice big glass of milk, a thing of cookies?”
“My hero.”
“That was harsh.”
“You better pipe down. I’m not laughing.”
“So you’re really gonna do this, huh? And nothing I say can change your mind?”
“So uh. I noticed you’re kinda naked. Is that intentional, or…?”
“Why is there a dog in my living room?”
“They mixed up our reservations. One room. One bed.”
“Oh boy. I’m on the weird side of YouTube again.”
“You, my friend, are a filthy sinner, and I, for one, approve wholeheartedly.”
“Did you mean like… this?”
“Would you do it for love?”
“It’s funny. I saw this coming from a mile away and I still didn’t do anything to prevent it.”
“Raise those eyebrows any higher and you’re going to lose them.”
“I made you something. Do you like it?”
“It’s your choice whether or not you leave an impact on their life.”
“It’s no fun going alone.”
“I wanna go home. I’m tired of being in a place that makes me feel unwanted.”
“I’m standing on my own two feet. You don’t get to come back and sweep me off them.”
“In a perfect world, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”
“I locked away my memories for good reason.”
“You’re a dirty little promise breaker.”
“This is why you’re my voice of reason.”
“I’m here to help you crash this party.”
“You were planning on leaving without me. I knew it from the start.”
“They’re lonely like we are.”
“I’d rather be hurt by the truth than tangled up in your lies.”
“You made me believe you were invincible.”
“You aren’t a danger to me. You aren’t a danger to anyone.”
“You’re not short. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I bet it’s nice having a convenient excuse to use every time you need one.”
“I’ve committed many crimes. You’re going to have to be clear about which one you’re talking about.”
“So, are you just going to stand there and take that shit?”
“Don’t ask me what I said. Chances are, I don’t even know.”
“Can you move over a bit please?”
“You can stop that now.”
“Don’t talk to him like that.”
“Are you literally five years old?”
“How much did you drink, exactly?”
“Please don’t touch me.”
“Say that one more time and I’ll fuck you up.”
“Of course you had to jump in on the conversation.”
“You’re not as cool as you think you are.”
“That’s fine, just go right and cut in front of me. I’ve only been waiting in line for forty-five minutes, no biggie.”
“The sign clearly says we’re closed so can you please either buy something or leave so I can go home.”
“I’m pretty sure you broke my best friend’s heart.”
“Not to be rude or anything, but I know your type so please, kindly, fuck off.”
“Okay, but, it’s none of your business?”
“Let’s be real here. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you take my drunk friend home.”
“Over my dead body.”
“All because you say ‘no offence’ it doesn’t make what you say any less offensive.”
“So, are you going to let me speak or…?”
“You had literally no right to do that.”
“Do you often make people this uncomfortable, or am I just extremely lucky?”
“I love this place so much.”
“We are still alone.”
“I want to bring all of you.”
“I’m taking a walk.”
“I’d rather die than have this conversation right now.”
“This isn’t the future I wanted.”
“Carry on, why don’t you?”
“Give it up already.”
“You have mascara all over your face.”
“You like when I look like this.”
“I’ll be fine if you leave.”
“I don’t need you anymore.”
“Thank you for making me tough.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Stop putting me down.”
“Take a look around, what do you see?”
“Just thought I’d be happier.”
“This isn’t an emergency.”
“We need to be on our way.”
“You’re too proud to let yourself love me.”
“I’ve never been scared of anything.”
“I’ll call you if I get home.”
“I know where you’re going to go.”
“It’ll all fall into place, trust me.”
“Are you in a rush?”
“Don’t walk home alone.”
“You look better than I remember.”
“Get it through your thick skull!”
“Don’t doubt me.”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
“They know. They all know.”
“There’s nothing she can do.”
“Why would I be with you if I was looking for someone else?”
“There’s a bed in the other room.”
“Stop wasting her time.”
“I noticed you the second you got here.”
“Waiting for the right time to tell you…”
“Get on the dance floor.”
“It’s been too long since I’ve touched you.”
“Why are you here if you’re not having a good time?”
“I think she’s leaving.”
“It’s all in my head.”
“I don’t want to keep picturing you with him.”
“I can’t shake it.”
“It’s a shame that you’re still angry about that.”
“What would you do in my position?”
“I think about it constantly.”
“It hurt more now. Time hasn’t done anything.”
“I remember what I said that made you leave.”
“My brain is hectic.”
“Don’t be a bad boy with me.”
“You know what you do to me.”
“Are you just gonna stay a fantasy?”
“What is ever enough for you?”
“This summer, fuck it. Run away with me.”
“Stop talking, look at the stars.”
“You wouldn’t recognize me now.”
“I can’t care for you now.”
“You’re so demanding.”
“I won’t be here to wake you up tomorrow.”
“Hold onto someone who treats you like that.”
“You were gone. I turned around and poof!”
“Who will still care?”
“You said you could help!”
“You don’t know shit!”
“Some boys are just for good times.”
“You are making a killing right now.”
“You don’t listen at all.”
“You didn’t ask for permission.”
“Of course, you got what you wanted.”
“She’s the girl you’re bringing to the hotel?”
“Keep me warm.”
“Is this what you think I was looking for?”
“I’m okay sleeping alone.”
“Heard you were talking shit.”
“Shame on me for getting too close.”
“You’re the worst at this.”
“Anything goes.”
“Give me more.”
“You made me drive you here and you’re leaving with him?”
“I can’t come back!”
“If I were you, I’d be quiet.”
“That is not what I said!”
“That’s a suitcase.”
“I’m blindsided.”
“What did I do wrong? Please tell me.”
“Where is your stuff?”
“It can’t be too late…”
“All I want is to love you.”
“What changed so quickly?”
“Answer me!”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Get out of the way!”
“That���s what my mom said.”
“This isn’t going to be easy.”
“How much more are you going to put me through?”
“What if I told you it will be alright?”
“Watch over him.”
“You have some nerve.”
“Did you call me 'sweet’?”
“This is completely new territory for me.”
“Maybe right now you just can’t imagine being lonely…”
“You’re going to be late.”
“Heard you’ve been busy.”
“I’ve been working all week.”
“Meet me upstairs.”
“I don’t give a shit what he feels.”
“Do you know what that means?”
“You had the keys!”
“I remember everything you whispered.”
“I’m not alone tonight.”
“Give it time, you’ll forget about it.”
“Is this going to disappoint me?”
“You’re a twisted person.”
“I didn’t think we’d go that far.”
“I just wish I understood why you did that.”
“Why is there pain?”
“I believe in you.”
“Maybe I cried, maybe I didn’t. I ain’t tellin’ you.”
“Sometimes, I wake up and you’re in another city.”
“I am never wrong.”
“It’s obvious it’s over.”
“Face the facts, damnit! They’re never coming back!”
“Tell me what happened? When did I lose you?”
“I don’t remember… I’m so sorry.”
“Oh god, no, I didn’t mean that. Forgive me, please.”
“Stop calling me cute!” - “Stop doing cute things!”
“I haven’t moved on yet.” - “I can tell.”
“I wasn’t going to try to fix us, but damnit, now you’ve got me thinking there’s a chance.”
“I’m not going to apologize.”
“You told me you wanted to let go. That night… I was coming over to try and fix things.”
“Okay, so maybe I lied! Maybe I’m not over you! Maybe I still have feelings! Stupid, stupid, uncontrollable feelings!” - "Well, what made you think I don’t feel the same?”
“I don’t want to do this. I can’t leave her behind.”
“I would say this cake was baked with love, but I had a bad day so it’s baked with chocolate and hatred.”
“I just… want to go home.”
“If you miss me, then you should do something about it.”
“Kiss me like I’m him.”
“It’s not because of dinner.”
“And you still won’t admit it.”
“Get out of my head.”
“You can keep the apartment.”
“Take me anywhere.”
“You stuff is in boxes outside your parents’ place.”
“I know I’m on your mind.”
“You said I should move on.”
“Why don’t you want to be alone with me?”
“I’m so scared… of you… of us.”
“Meet me at the terminal.”
“This is actually Hell.”
“You’re just another girl.”
“you must not blame yourself. not for this.”
“My future isn’t going to be like yours.”
“This was my mess and I need to fix it.”
“My hate for you cannot be measured.”
“Yeah uh – yeah, no. That sounds awful.”
“Please… don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me alone, not without you.”
“So that went well.”
“You’re awful. I love it.”
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, exactly?”
“Is that… lipstick on your collar?”
“Did you do this?”
“You know what? This place feels like home.”
“Oh shit. Am I – am I in love? That’s not supposed to be happening. That’s not right.”
“Who are you? Where am I? What is this? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?”
“Dear y/n – first of all, I’m so sorry. I really am.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“So what, you’re just gonna leave?”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out?”
“You really think you can beat me? That’s cute.”
“I’m tired of you. I really am, at this point.”
“Oh, just digging myself a grave, you?”
“Shh. This is my favorite part.”
“Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?”
“I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel toward you.”
“Is that necessary?”
“I don’t like it.”
“I’m getting bad vibes… we should go.”
“HA! Loser!”
“You wear me out, kid.”
“Is this a joke? This is a joke right, you’re joking.”
“The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days.”
“You’re the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“You kiddin’? That’s brilliant, c'mon!”
“So what do you say to this: you, me, a nice big glass of milk, a thing of cookies?”
“My hero.”
“That was harsh.”
“You better pipe down. I’m not laughing.”
“So you’re really gonna do this, huh? And nothing I say can change your mind?”
“So uh. I noticed you’re kinda naked. Is that intentional, or…?”
“Why is there a dog in my living room?”
“They mixed up our reservations. One room. One bed.”
“Oh boy. I’m on the weird side of YouTube again.”
“You, my friend, are a filthy sinner, and I, for one, approve wholeheartedly.”
“Did you mean like… this?”
“Would you do it for love?”
“It’s funny. I saw this coming from a mile away and I still didn’t do anything to prevent it.”
“Raise those eyebrows any higher and you’re going to lose them.”
“I made you something. Do you like it?”
“It’s your choice whether or not you leave an impact on their life.”
“It’s no fun going alone.”
“I wanna go home. I’m tired of being in a place that makes me feel unwanted.”
“I’m standing on my own two feet. You don’t get to come back and sweep me off them.”
“In a perfect world, we wouldn’t be having this problem.”
“I locked away my memories for good reason.”
“You’re a dirty little promise breaker.”
“This is why you’re my voice of reason.”
“I’m here to help you crash this party.”
“You were planning on leaving without me. I knew it from the start.”
“They’re lonely like we are.”
“I’d rather be hurt by the truth than tangled up in your lies.”
“You made me believe you were invincible.”
“You aren’t a danger to me. You aren’t a danger to anyone.”
“You’re not short. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I bet it’s nice having a convenient excuse to use every time you need one.”
“I’ve committed many crimes. You’re going to have to be clear about which one you’re talking about.”
“I expected betrayal, but it still surprised me.”
“Don’t ask me what I said. Chances are, I don’t even know.”
“Can you move over a bit please?”
“You can stop that now.”
“Don’t talk to him like that.”
“Are you literally five years old?”
“How much did you drink, exactly?”
“Please don’t touch me.”
“Say that one more time and I’ll fuck you up.”
“Of course you had to jump in on the conversation.”
“You’re not as cool as you think you are.”
“That’s fine, just go right and cut in front of me. I’ve only been waiting in line for forty-five minutes, no biggie.”
“The sign clearly says we’re closed so can you please either buy something or leave so I can go home.”
“I’m pretty sure you broke my best friend’s heart.”
“Not to be rude or anything, but I know your type so please, kindly, fuck off.”
“Okay, but, it’s none of your business?”
“Let’s be real here. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you take my drunk friend home.”
“Over my dead body.”
“All because you say 'no offence’ it doesn’t make what you say any less offensive.”
“So, are you going to let me speak or…?”
“You had literally no right to do that.”
“Do you often make people this uncomfortable, or am I just extremely lucky?”
“I love this place so much.”
“We are still alone.”
“I want to bring all of you.”
“I’m taking a walk.”
“I’d rather die than have this conversation right now.”
“This isn’t the future I wanted.”
“Carry on, why don’t you?”
“Give it up already.”
“You have mascara all over your face.”
“You like when I look like this.”
“I’ll be fine if you leave.”
“I don’t need you anymore.”
“Thank you for making me tough.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Stop putting me down.”
“Take a look around, what do you see?”
“Just thought I’d be happier.”
“This isn’t an emergency.”
“We need to be on our way.”
“You’re too proud to let yourself love me.”
“I’ve never been scared of anything.”
“I’ll call you if I get home.”
“I know where you’re going to go.”
“It’ll all fall into place, trust me.”
“Are you in a rush?”
“Don’t walk home alone.”
“You look better than I remember.”
“Get it through your thick skull!”
“Don’t doubt me.”
“Well, when you put it like that…”
“They know. They all know.”
“There’s nothing she can do.”
“Why would I be with you if I was looking for someone else?”
“There’s a bed in the other room.”
“Stop wasting her time.”
“I noticed you the second you got here.”
“Waiting for the right time to tell you…”
“Get on the dance floor.”
“It’s been too long since I’ve touched you.”
“Why are you here if you’re not having a good time?”
“I think she’s leaving.”
“It’s all in my head.”
“I don’t want to keep picturing you with him.”
“I can’t shake it.”
“It’s a shame that you’re still angry about that.”
“What would you do in my position?”
“I think about it constantly.”
“It hurt more now. Time hasn’t done anything.”
“I remember what I said that made you leave.”
“My brain is hectic.”
“Don’t be a bad boy with me.”
“You know what you do to me.”
“Are you just gonna stay a fantasy?”
“What is ever enough for you?”
“This summer, fuck it. Run away with me.”
“Stop talking, look at the stars.”
“You wouldn’t recognize me now.”
“I can’t care for you now.”
“You’re so demanding.”
“I won’t be here to wake you up tomorrow.”
“Hold onto someone who treats you like that.”
“You were gone. I turned around and poof!”
“Who will still care?”
“You said you could help!”
“You don’t know shit!”
“Some boys are just for good times.”
“You are making a killing right now.”
“You don’t listen at all.”
“You didn’t ask for permission.”
“Of course, you got what you wanted.”
“She’s the girl you’re bringing to the hotel?”
“Keep me warm.”
“Is this what you think I was looking for?”
“I’m okay sleeping alone.”
“Heard you were talking shit.”
“Shame on me for getting too close.”
“You’re the worst at this.”
“Anything goes.”
“Give me more.”
“You made me drive you here and you’re leaving with him?”
“I can’t come back!”
“If I were you, I’d be quiet.”
“That is not what I said!”
“That’s a suitcase.”
“I’m blindsided.”
“What did I do wrong? Please tell me.”
“Where is your stuff?”
“It can’t be too late…”
“All I want is to love you.”
“What changed so quickly?”
“Answer me!”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Get out of the way!”
“That’s what my mom said.”
“This isn’t going to be easy.”
“How much more are you going to put me through?”
“What if I told you it will be alright?”
“Watch over him.”
“You have some nerve.”
“Did you call me 'sweet’?”
“This is completely new territory for me.”
“Maybe right now you just can’t imagine being lonely…”
“You’re going to be late.”
“Heard you’ve been busy.”
“I’ve been working all week.”
“Meet me upstairs.”
“I don’t give a shit what he feels.”
“Do you know what that means?”
“You had the keys!”
“I remember everything you whispered.”
“I’m not alone tonight.”
“Give it time, you’ll forget about it.”
“Is this going to disappoint me?”
“You’re a twisted person.”
“I didn’t think we’d go that far.”
“I just wish I understood why you did that.”
“Why is there pain?”
“I believe in you.”
“Maybe I cried, maybe I didn’t. I ain’t tellin’ you.”
“Sometimes, I wake up and you’re in another city.”
“I am never wrong.”
“It’s obvious it’s over.”
“Face the facts, damnit! They’re never coming back!”
“Tell me what happened? When did I lose you?”
“I don’t remember… I’m so sorry.”
“Oh god, no, I didn’t mean that. Forgive me, please.”
“Stop calling me cute!”
“Stop doing cute things!”
“I haven’t moved on yet.”
“I can tell.”
“I wasn’t going to try to fix us, but damnit, now you’ve got me thinking there’s a chance.”
“I’m not going to apologize.”
“You told me you wanted to let go. That night… I was coming over to try and fix things.”
“Okay, so maybe I lied! Maybe I’m not over you! Maybe I still have feelings! Stupid, stupid, uncontrollable feelings!”
“Well, what made you think I don’t feel the same?”
“I don’t want to do this. I can’t leave her behind.”
“I would say this cake was baked with love, but I had a bad day so it’s baked with chocolate and hatred.”
“I just… want to go home.”
“If you miss me, then you should do something about it.”
“Kiss me like I’m him.”
“It’s not because of dinner.”
“And you still won’t admit it.”
“Get out of my head.”
“You can keep the apartment.”
“Take me anywhere.”
“You stuff is in boxes outside your parents’ place.”
“I know I’m on your mind.”
“You said I should move on.”
“Why don’t you want to be alone with me?”
“I’m so scared… of you… of us.”
“Meet me at the terminal.”
“This is actually Hell.”
“You’re just another girl.”
12 notes · View notes
c-jacksonn · 7 years
Text
Prompt List
this is going to be constantly updated, but feel free to request from here! 
"you must not blame yourself. not for this."
"My future isn't going to be like yours."
"This was my mess and I need to fix it."
"My hate for you cannot be measured."
"Yeah uh – yeah, no. That sounds awful."
"Please… don't leave me here. Don't leave me alone, not without you."
"So that went well."
"You're awful. I love it."
"What the hell do you think you're doing, exactly?"
"Is that… lipstick on your collar?"
"Did you do this?"
"You know what? This place feels like home."
"Oh shit. Am I – am I in love? That's not supposed to be happening. That's not right."
"Who are you? Where am I? What is this? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
"Dear y/n – first of all, I'm so sorry. I really am."
"I can't do this anymore."
"So what, you're just gonna leave?"
"Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?"
"You really think you can beat me? That's cute."
"I'm tired of you. I really am, at this point."
"Oh, just digging myself a grave, you?"
"Shh. This is my favorite part."
"Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?"
"I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel toward you."
"Is that necessary?"
"I don't like it."
"I'm getting bad vibes… we should go."
"HA! Loser!"
"You wear me out, kid."
"Is this a joke? This is a joke right, you're joking."
"The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days."
"You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
"You kiddin'? That's brilliant, c'mon!"
"So what do you say to this: you, me, a nice big glass of milk, a thing of cookies?"
"My hero."
"That was harsh."
"You better pipe down. I'm not laughing."
"So you're really gonna do this, huh? And nothing I say can change your mind?"
"So uh. I noticed you're kinda naked. Is that intentional, or…?"
"Why is there a dog in my living room?"
"They mixed up our reservations. One room. One bed."
"Oh boy. I'm on the weird side of YouTube again."
"You, my friend, are a filthy sinner, and I, for one, approve wholeheartedly."
"Did you mean like… this?"
"Would you do it for love?"
"It's funny. I saw this coming from a mile away and I still didn't do anything to prevent it."
"Raise those eyebrows any higher and you're going to lose them."
"I made you something. Do you like it?"
"It's your choice whether or not you leave an impact on their life."
"It's no fun going alone."
"I wanna go home. I'm tired of being in a place that makes me feel unwanted."
"I’m standing on my own two feet. You don't get to come back and sweep me off them."
"In a perfect world, we wouldn't be having this problem."
"I locked away my memories for good reason."
"You're a dirty little promise breaker."
"This is why you're my voice of reason."
"I'm here to help you crash this party."
"You were planning on leaving without me. I knew it from the start."
"They're lonely like we are."
"I'd rather be hurt by the truth than tangled up in your lies."
"You made me believe you were invincible."
"You aren't a danger to me. You aren't a danger to anyone."
"You're not short. You wouldn't understand."
"I bet it's nice having a convenient excuse to use every time you need one."
"I've committed many crimes. You're going to have to be clear about which one you're talking about."
"I expected betrayal, but it still surprised me."
"Don't ask me what I said. Chances are, I don’t even know."
"Can you move over a bit please?"
"You can stop that now."
"Don't talk to him like that."
"Are you literally five years old?"
"How much did you drink, exactly?"
"Please don't touch me."
"Say that one more time and I'll fuck you up."
"Of course you had to jump in on the conversation."
"You're not as cool as you think you are."
"That's fine, just go right and cut in front of me. I've only been waiting in line for forty-five minutes, no biggie."
"The sign clearly says we're closed so can you please either buy something or leave so I can go home."
"I'm pretty sure you broke my best friend's heart."
"Not to be rude or anything, but I know your type so please, kindly, fuck off."
"Okay, but, it's none of your business?"
"Let's be real here. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you take my drunk friend home."
"Over my dead body."
"All because you say 'no offence' it doesn't make what you say any less offensive."
"So, are you going to let me speak or…?"
"You had literally no right to do that."
"Do you often make people this uncomfortable, or am I just extremely lucky?"
"I love this place so much."
"We are still alone."
"I want to bring all of you."
"I'm taking a walk."
"I'd rather die than have this conversation right now."
"This isn't the future I wanted."
"Carry on, why don't you?"
"Give it up already."
"You have mascara all over your face."
"You like when I look like this."
"I'll be fine if you leave."
"I don't need you anymore."
"Thank you for making me tough."
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Stop putting me down."
"Take a look around, what do you see?"
"Just thought I'd be happier."
"This isn't an emergency."
"We need to be on our way."
"You're too proud to let yourself love me."
"I've never been scared of anything."
"I'll call you if I get home."
"I know where you're going to go."
"It'll all fall into place, trust me."
"Are you in a rush?"
"Don't walk home alone."
"You look better than I remember."
"Get it through your thick skull!"
"Don't doubt me."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
"They know. They all know."
"There's nothing she can do."
"Why would I be with you if I was looking for someone else?"
"There's a bed in the other room."
"Stop wasting her time."
"I noticed you the second you got here."
"Waiting for the right time to tell you…"
"Get on the dance floor."
"It's been too long since I've touched you."
"Why are you here if you're not having a good time?"
"I think she's leaving."
"It's all in my head."
"I don't want to keep picturing you with him."
"I can't shake it."
"It's a shame that you're still angry about that."
"What would you do in my position?"
"I think about it constantly."
"It hurt more now. Time hasn't done anything."
"I remember what I said that made you leave."
"My brain is hectic."
"Don't be a bad boy with me."
"You know what you do to me."
"Are you just gonna stay a fantasy?"
"What is ever enough for you?"
"This summer, fuck it. Run away with me."
"Stop talking, look at the stars."
"You wouldn't recognize me now."
"I can't care for you now."
"You're so demanding."
"I won't be here to wake you up tomorrow."
"Hold onto someone who treats you like that."
"You were gone. I turned around and poof!"
"Who will still care?"
"You said you could help!"
"You don't know shit!"
"Some boys are just for good times."
"You are making a killing right now."
"You don't listen at all."
"You didn't ask for permission."
"Of course, you got what you wanted."
"She's the girl you're bringing to the hotel?"
"Keep me warm."
"Is this what you think I was looking for?"
"I'm okay sleeping alone."
"Heard you were talking shit."
"Shame on me for getting too close."
"You're the worst at this."
"Anything goes."
"Give me more."
"You made me drive you here and you're leaving with him?"
"I can't come back!"
"If I were you, I'd be quiet."
"That is not what I said!"
"That's a suitcase."
"I'm blindsided."
"What did I do wrong? Please tell me."
"Where is your stuff?"
"It can't be too late…"
"All I want is to love you."
"What changed so quickly?"
"Answer me!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Get out of the way!"
"That's what my mom said."
"This isn't going to be easy."
"How much more are you going to put me through?"
"What if I told you it will be alright?"
"Watch over him."
"You have some nerve."
"Did you call me 'sweet'?"
"This is completely new territory for me."
"Maybe right now you just can't imagine being lonely…"
"You're going to be late."
"Heard you've been busy."
"I've been working all week."
"Meet me upstairs."
"I don't give a shit what he feels."
"Do you know what that means?"
"You had the keys!"
"I remember everything you whispered."
"I'm not alone tonight."
"Give it time, you'll forget about it."
"Is this going to disappoint me?"
"You're a twisted person."
"I didn't think we'd go that far."
"I just wish I understood why you did that."
"Why is there pain?"
"I believe in you."
"Maybe I cried, maybe I didn't. I ain't tellin' you."
"Sometimes, I wake up and you're in another city."
"I am never wrong."
"It's obvious it's over."
"Face the facts, damnit! They're never coming back!"
"Tell me what happened? When did I lose you?"
"I don't remember… I'm so sorry."
"Oh god, no, I didn't mean that. Forgive me, please."
"Stop calling me cute!" - "Stop doing cute things!"
"I haven't moved on yet." - “I can tell.” 
"I wasn't going to try to fix us, but damnit, now you've got me thinking there's a chance."
"I'm not going to apologize."
"You told me you wanted to let go. That night… I was coming over to try and fix things."
"Okay, so maybe I lied! Maybe I'm not over you! Maybe I still have feelings! Stupid, stupid, uncontrollable feelings!” - "Well, what made you think I don't feel the same?"
"I don't want to do this. I can't leave her behind."
"I would say this cake was baked with love, but I had a bad day so it's baked with chocolate and hatred."
"I just… want to go home."
"If you miss me, then you should do something about it."
"Kiss me like I'm him."
"It's not because of dinner."
"And you still won't admit it."
"Get out of my head."
"You can keep the apartment."
"Take me anywhere."
"You stuff is in boxes outside your parents' place."
"I know I'm on your mind."
"You said I should move on."
"Why don't you want to be alone with me?"
"I'm so scared… of you… of us."
"Meet me at the terminal."
"This is actually Hell."
"You're just another girl."
"you must not blame yourself. not for this."
"My future isn't going to be like yours."
"This was my mess and I need to fix it."
"My hate for you cannot be measured."
"Yeah uh – yeah, no. That sounds awful."
"Please… don't leave me here. Don't leave me alone, not without you."
"So that went well."
"You're awful. I love it."
"What the hell do you think you're doing, exactly?"
"Is that… lipstick on your collar?"
"Did you do this?"
"You know what? This place feels like home."
"Oh shit. Am I – am I in love? That's not supposed to be happening. That's not right."
"Who are you? Where am I? What is this? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
"Dear y/n – first of all, I'm so sorry. I really am."
"I can't do this anymore."
"So what, you're just gonna leave?"
"Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?"
"You really think you can beat me? That's cute."
"I'm tired of you. I really am, at this point."
"Oh, just digging myself a grave, you?"
"Shh. This is my favorite part."
"Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?"
"I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel toward you."
"Is that necessary?"
"I don't like it."
"I'm getting bad vibes… we should go."
"HA! Loser!"
"You wear me out, kid."
"Is this a joke? This is a joke right, you're joking."
"The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days."
"You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
"You kiddin'? That's brilliant, c'mon!"
"So what do you say to this: you, me, a nice big glass of milk, a thing of cookies?"
"My hero."
"That was harsh."
"You better pipe down. I'm not laughing."
"So you're really gonna do this, huh? And nothing I say can change your mind?"
"So uh. I noticed you're kinda naked. Is that intentional, or…?"
"Why is there a dog in my living room?"
"They mixed up our reservations. One room. One bed."
"Oh boy. I'm on the weird side of YouTube again."
"You, my friend, are a filthy sinner, and I, for one, approve wholeheartedly."
"Did you mean like… this?"
"Would you do it for love?"
"It's funny. I saw this coming from a mile away and I still didn't do anything to prevent it."
"Raise those eyebrows any higher and you're going to lose them."
"I made you something. Do you like it?"
"It's your choice whether or not you leave an impact on their life."
"It's no fun going alone."
"I wanna go home. I'm tired of being in a place that makes me feel unwanted."
"I’m standing on my own two feet. You don't get to come back and sweep me off them."
"In a perfect world, we wouldn't be having this problem."
"I locked away my memories for good reason."
"You're a dirty little promise breaker."
"This is why you're my voice of reason."
"I'm here to help you crash this party."
"You were planning on leaving without me. I knew it from the start."
"They're lonely like we are."
"I'd rather be hurt by the truth than tangled up in your lies."
"You made me believe you were invincible."
"You aren't a danger to me. You aren't a danger to anyone."
"You're not short. You wouldn't understand."
"I bet it's nice having a convenient excuse to use every time you need one."
"I've committed many crimes. You're going to have to be clear about which one you're talking about."
"I expected betrayal, but it still surprised me."
"Don't ask me what I said. Chances are, I don’t even know."
"Can you move over a bit please?"
"You can stop that now."
"Don't talk to him like that."
"Are you literally five years old?"
"How much did you drink, exactly?"
"Please don't touch me."
"Say that one more time and I'll fuck you up."
"Of course you had to jump in on the conversation."
"You're not as cool as you think you are."
"That's fine, just go right and cut in front of me. I've only been waiting in line for forty-five minutes, no biggie."
"The sign clearly says we're closed so can you please either buy something or leave so I can go home."
"I'm pretty sure you broke my best friend's heart."
"Not to be rude or anything, but I know your type so please, kindly, fuck off."
"Okay, but, it's none of your business?"
"Let's be real here. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you take my drunk friend home."
"Over my dead body."
"All because you say 'no offence' it doesn't make what you say any less offensive."
"So, are you going to let me speak or…?"
"You had literally no right to do that."
"Do you often make people this uncomfortable, or am I just extremely lucky?"
"I love this place so much."
"We are still alone."
"I want to bring all of you."
"I'm taking a walk."
"I'd rather die than have this conversation right now."
"This isn't the future I wanted."
"Carry on, why don't you?"
"Give it up already."
"You have mascara all over your face."
"You like when I look like this."
"I'll be fine if you leave."
"I don't need you anymore."
"Thank you for making me tough."
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Stop putting me down."
"Take a look around, what do you see?"
"Just thought I'd be happier."
"This isn't an emergency."
"We need to be on our way."
"You're too proud to let yourself love me."
"I've never been scared of anything."
"I'll call you if I get home."
"I know where you're going to go."
"It'll all fall into place, trust me."
"Are you in a rush?"
"Don't walk home alone."
"You look better than I remember."
"Get it through your thick skull!"
"Don't doubt me."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
"They know. They all know."
"There's nothing she can do."
"Why would I be with you if I was looking for someone else?"
"There's a bed in the other room."
"Stop wasting her time."
"I noticed you the second you got here."
"Waiting for the right time to tell you…"
"Get on the dance floor."
"It's been too long since I've touched you."
"Why are you here if you're not having a good time?"
"I think she's leaving."
"It's all in my head."
"I don't want to keep picturing you with him."
"I can't shake it."
"It's a shame that you're still angry about that."
"What would you do in my position?"
"I think about it constantly."
"It hurt more now. Time hasn't done anything."
"I remember what I said that made you leave."
"My brain is hectic."
"Don't be a bad boy with me."
"You know what you do to me."
"Are you just gonna stay a fantasy?"
"What is ever enough for you?"
"This summer, fuck it. Run away with me."
"Stop talking, look at the stars."
"You wouldn't recognize me now."
"I can't care for you now."
"You're so demanding."
"I won't be here to wake you up tomorrow."
"Hold onto someone who treats you like that."
"You were gone. I turned around and poof!"
"Who will still care?"
"You said you could help!"
"You don't know shit!"
"Some boys are just for good times."
"You are making a killing right now."
"You don't listen at all."
"You didn't ask for permission."
"Of course, you got what you wanted."
"She's the girl you're bringing to the hotel?"
"Keep me warm."
"Is this what you think I was looking for?"
"I'm okay sleeping alone."
"Heard you were talking shit."
"Shame on me for getting too close."
"You're the worst at this."
"Anything goes."
"Give me more."
"You made me drive you here and you're leaving with him?"
"I can't come back!"
"If I were you, I'd be quiet."
"That is not what I said!"
"That's a suitcase."
"I'm blindsided."
"What did I do wrong? Please tell me."
"Where is your stuff?"
"It can't be too late…"
"All I want is to love you."
"What changed so quickly?"
"Answer me!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Get out of the way!"
"That's what my mom said."
"This isn't going to be easy."
"How much more are you going to put me through?"
"What if I told you it will be alright?"
"Watch over him."
"You have some nerve."
"Did you call me 'sweet'?"
"This is completely new territory for me."
"Maybe right now you just can't imagine being lonely…"
"You're going to be late."
"Heard you've been busy."
"I've been working all week."
"Meet me upstairs."
"I don't give a shit what he feels."
"Do you know what that means?"
"You had the keys!"
"I remember everything you whispered."
"I'm not alone tonight."
"Give it time, you'll forget about it."
"Is this going to disappoint me?"
"You're a twisted person."
"I didn't think we'd go that far."
"I just wish I understood why you did that."
"Why is there pain?"
"I believe in you."
"Maybe I cried, maybe I didn't. I ain't tellin' you."
"Sometimes, I wake up and you're in another city."
"I am never wrong."
"It's obvious it's over."
"Face the facts, damnit! They're never coming back!"
"Tell me what happened? When did I lose you?"
"I don't remember… I'm so sorry."
"Oh god, no, I didn't mean that. Forgive me, please."
"Stop calling me cute!"
"Stop doing cute things!"
"I haven't moved on yet."
"I can tell."
"I wasn't going to try to fix us, but damnit, now you've got me thinking there's a chance."
"I'm not going to apologize."
"You told me you wanted to let go. That night… I was coming over to try and fix things."
"Okay, so maybe I lied! Maybe I'm not over you! Maybe I still have feelings! Stupid, stupid, uncontrollable feelings!"
"Well, what made you think I don't feel the same?"
"I don't want to do this. I can't leave her behind."
"I would say this cake was baked with love, but I had a bad day so it's baked with chocolate and hatred."
"I just… want to go home."
"If you miss me, then you should do something about it."
"Kiss me like I'm him."
"It's not because of dinner."
"And you still won't admit it."
"Get out of my head."
"You can keep the apartment."
"Take me anywhere."
"You stuff is in boxes outside your parents' place."
"I know I'm on your mind."
"You said I should move on."
"Why don't you want to be alone with me?"
"I'm so scared… of you… of us."
"Meet me at the terminal."
"This is actually Hell."
"You're just another girl."
11 notes · View notes
Text
Dear friend,
I’m confused and worried. 
I’m dating this boy for about 2 months now, and we’ve had a lot of fun, I love cuddling with him and he says such romantic things which I can tell he means from the look in his eyes and his tone of voice, he makes the effort to communicate with me whenever he feels that something is wrong (especially since us girls or maybe just me, I don’t always know what is wrong I just know that something is wrong so until I find out, i’m not going to say anything. )
Which, incidentally, is what is happening now. I feel that something is wrong with us, but I don’t know what. I’ve been trying really hard to figure it out since last night, because I apparently brought him to this place where we had privacy (coz he said he wanted to hang out where there’s not as many people walking around and stuff coz its distracting and we’re awkward people) so we kinda cuddled for awhile and for some reason, although the mood was there, although the venue was perfect, the night sky shining down on us was perfect, I couldn’t kiss him. 
I was somewhat repulsed or something, that seeing his face upfront and upclose (...so close.), I didn’t feel like kissing him. I was just staring into his eyes and I could tell he wanted it so bad and that his feelings are genuine and I loved hugging and touching him and all but I just didn’t feel the urge to bring my lips to his. I’ve hypothesised the following reasons:
1) I like him a lot, but I don’t love him.
2) I always thought love/romance = friendship + attraction, but that could just be friends with benefits. 
3) I’m still very much affected by how he treated me in front of his parents and friends (out of awkwardness which we’ve established -- which my friends also agree) just 2 days ago and my level of affection hasn’t reached its peak.
4) I imagined it always to give my first kiss away to him downstairs of his house, because that was a beautiful place and a beautiful moment where I started to have real feelings for him 2nd week of us knowing each other. I didn’t want it to be at some make-out spot where it seemed really cheap and obligatory. 
5) I didn’t intend for that place to be a make-out spot and when I realised that it in fact, was one, I kinda freaked out (again, like I did previously with another place i brought him to which turned out to be a make-out spot. sigh), and that was the level of affection I was comfortable with. 
Throughout last night, there were 2 moments where I really wanted to kiss him. One was when he told me how long he has wanted to bring a special someone to this place which he’s been going to since he was 13/14 with his friends, and now he has finally brought me here, and that he has legit never felt so much for someone before me. His eyes and the way he said it and it was just such a touching moment -- but I just sat there, being touched, smiling and staring into his eyes..he’s so handsome. and at that moment I realised again, i’m looking at a boy in love. 
Second moment was when i hooked my arm around him and my hand was on his forearm, and he started kissing my hand. It wasn’t a hungry kiss, it was multiple gentle pecks full of affection and love and with every kiss I just felt more and more for him. It was magical. 
Also he has told me that he loves me multiple multiple times already but I haven’t been able to say it back. 
That’s my other issue. if (1) and (2) is correct, then is it fair for me to continue seeing him? I feel as if i’m leading him on, since he obviously likes me a whole lot more than I like him. 
A thought I had this morning was that, the empty part of my feelings for him stems from one thing: I need to fall in love with his mind. Which I don’t feel I have. He’s funny, playful, romantic, cute and handsome, but he and I don’t have very intellectual conversations and never have I once thought, omg i love the way you think. We do have alot of common interests and we get excited about them together, and we can have fun and feel comfortable with each other no matter what we’re doing and we come to decisions well, but I haven’t fallen in love with his mind specifically? And I realised that is something I want in my partner. I want to love the way they think and love how they feel and rationalise things and all. But at the same time, because he is abit more closed off in a sense of expressing his thoughts, opinions and feelings (other than his feelings for me), I think it will take time for me to even start to understand his mind better. 
It’s my first relationship and his first relationship in 7 years so I think we’re still trying to figure a lot of things out. 
I have met his parents briefly before though, so now they’re curious about me, but he’s not ready to tell them I’m his girlfriend (even though he thinks they probably know already). 
And here’s my third issue: I worry a hell lot when I think about when I introduce him to my family and friends. Because he’s abit of a no filter guy. And my family and friends are thickass filter people. 
I don’t know if you know what I mean. But if you do, then you get it instantly right?
I like that he’s so honest and so unpolitically correct sometimes because its refreshing to have someone who just doesn’t care that much about what people think of them because i’m someone who cares way too much. I like how he dabbles in things people usually find taboo like dark humour or porn which btw, face it, all guys and even some girls watch it and touch themselves and all so at least he’s honest about it which is actually really funny, to me at least. He’s basically my guilty pleasures. Everything I know to myself as something not really great but its part and parcel of life that he embraces wholeheartedly whilst everyone in my life shuns and disregards, that’s him. He’s basically all the sides of me that I tend to hide from my family and friends because I know they’re not thrilled about it. Maybe that’s why i’m so attracted to him. It’s exciting. Sigh is he my “bad boy” relationship? 
That’s another thing though, I want this to last, but I did have thoughts of breaking up with him because it doesn’t seem stable. It seems like we’ll have a lot of fun but not be able to work through decades of problems together. We’re not a mature relationship nor is this a “mature love”, i don’t think. 
But at the same time, I don’t think I can do it. I cannot afford to break his heart and I don’t want to, even if I do i want us to stay friends but I know we won’t ever be able to because he’s too invested now. I don’t doubt his feelings but I doubt mine. 
It says that time is the best test and I agree, but I wonder if me continuing down this road and upping my levels of affection and commitment as time goes by, is cruel to him, especially since I have had thoughts of breaking up already at this stage. Should this already be a sign or should this continue to drag out whilst I hope that over time I will fall deeper in love with him? Or is this just a manifestation of what happened 2 days ago, because in previous weeks, every time that we meet I feel even more for him. It stopped recently because I felt we were growing distant, his texts were becoming shorter and it felt as if he wasn’t putting in as much effort anymore. But maybe it’s just me and him under stress from his circumstances the past week. I’m not sure. 
Perhaps it may be right to wait it out, but i’m not feeling great about it. 
I don’t know if this is a gut feeling I should trust, but breaking up over a gut feeling would be unacceptable...to my rational mind and to him, who has invested way too much of his feelings into the past 2 months. 
0 notes
thestonehearted · 5 years
Text
Turning 18
Turning 18.
Wow. 18 years. So many things I thought I would do, to many things I thought I would become, so many places I thought I’d go and so many people I thought I’ll meet.
              I guess turning 18 excited me, I was excited to turn 18, say goodbye to my childhood, accept being a so called adult, with an open arms and an open heart. But it actually didn’t turn out that way, sadly I guess.
             It’s so fucked up that now is the time that I’m figuring shit out now, like I had it all planned out, where I’d be, somewhere far, beautiful, living my best life with some amazing people, with whom I’d just met. Definitely still not figuring it out. Definitely not. But then life had to become this unfair son of a bitch fucking me over so hard leaving me grasping for air.
             This year has definitely made me a stronger person, made me learn so much about myself, loose so much of myself, made me see who my people are and made me hold them closer. It started out pretty fucking amazing, with being in Oman, being the best that I had been, my mental health was STRIVIN there, I was so calm, at peace with myself. Still somehow shackled by anxiety, but I was happy, I could wake up every day and not think about going back to sleep. And for that I’m so fucking grateful for Priya Cheriamma and everyone else for making it that way for me because god knows I fucking needed it. I needed to just let go, for 11 years I was holding on so, so fucking tight to something which would soon leave me. I had to let go, Oman was spectacular, to not having to worry about anything when I wake up to going to sleep, so tired but happy with the day. It was nice, the evening walks, long talks with Priya cheriamma, bitchin’ with Dhanya, getting annoyed by Mohan Cheriachan and of course feeling so loved by Lehini it was so good. And I needed it. It also made me appreciate my parents more, not many people let their only child fly across the world alone just because they needed a break. Fuck man, it was beautiful.
             Coming back was okay, I did want to stay there longer but I also wanted to go home. I mean, I could stay at a 10 freaking star hotel and my room would still be my sanctuary. Home was great, sleeping in everyday, focusing on myself and only myself, that was great. Netflix, eat, chill, movie, ah that was the fucking life, improving my guitar skills and makeup skills, finding the confidence to actually sing and play. It was good for me, it really was.
             Then came spm results, I guess I still haven’t mourned, the failure, I mean I’ve spoken about it but I hadn’t processed the disappointment, I still don’t know where or how I fucked up, in my head I still did everything fucking right, I mean I did it all right for 11 fucking years all the sacrifices, the hours spent the money spent, the love and friendships lost, all of it went into vain. I guess that’s the most hurtful part, like I had one fucking job to do which was to get the best that I could ever get, and somehow I fucked up that shit. And I don’t think you could ever recover from something like that honestly, it hurts too much to think about, to know that there’s nothing left, that life is just that, you might never get a second chance because of how fucked up life is, its kinda heartbreaking and depressing to think about honestly.
             And then came Harry’s concert, the neon coloured fucking highlight of my life, damn that concert saved my life. At that point I had lost all hope, I was certain that I’m not gonna have future, one that i wanted one that I would like, or be proud of and I honestly thought I was not going to have a future. His concert was the light, it was the best day of my life, it made me think that there’s actually fucking great things in life. It kept me alive for more than a year. It made me have hope. It made me want to live. It was such a perfect day, I honestly would not change anything about it, not even a single thing. Ever.
             I was happy, I was grateful, I felt euphoria, and fuck it was a good feeling. That day 3/5/18, I did not have any negative feelings, at all and fuck that felt great. I say that it was the best day of my life, because all the  emotions that I had felt, it was all of extreme and pure joy, excitement, and gratitude for how fucking beautiful life can get. And listening to meet me in the hallway live, oh fuck that was fucking beautiful. At that moment it felt so beautiful, to hear my favourite song in the entire world live by my sweet angel Harry damn I would give anything to relive it everyday for the rest of my life. That concert also pushed me, it pushed me out of my comfort zone, it made me meet new fucking amazing people, those who I genuinely hope will be part of my life for a very very very long time. And I got to touch Harry as well, that was just wow. Going was one thing, being at barricade was another, BUT TOUCHING HIM? Bitch wake me the fuck up. It was truly an amazing experience. Elating if you would call it. I say with confidence that I would not be alive today if it weren’t for that concert. After getting my results, it felt as if I was pushed into this deep abyss of what failure feels like and the concert was my life jacket, one of the few things I managed to salvage from the surface, and it held me long enough, long enough for me to learn how to thread water in that place, and god I wanted to die and end it all when it ended. As dramatic as it sounds, I lost all hope, what the fuck was hope, I remember so clearly bawling my eyes out in the shower and fuck it hurt, it hurt bad. Real bad. But that’s the thing about hope it fucks you up so hard leaving you breathless and without a will to live.
             And two weeks before that was Zedd and fuck that was so much of fun, I hadn’t had so much fun in very long. It was just fun, no emotions, no overthinking, just losing myself in my favourite thing  in this fucked up sphere of life, music, god that was just fun. But that’s just the thing about concerts, so fucking beautiful, it lets you loose yourself, you become one with the music, you feel the goddamn music in every cell in your body, you feel it running in your veins, you feel it in your soul, that 2 hours of euphoria, it leaves a marking on your being.
             And after the Harry concert came my worst nightmare, it’ s all a blur until now, how I survived for this long, despite being this fucked up, how I managed to still be in one piece despite being in so much agony, despite suffering every day, despite sing life pass me by, despite being so fucking depressed it hurts to wake up every day. God it fucking hurts.
             But in all honestly, I’ve got to give it to myself, despite being so fucked up, I am still here. I’ve fucking learnt that I am a strong ass bitch. I fucking survived 8 fucking months in hell with constant anxiety, pain and feeling so so dark that when light enters its so fucking overwhelming that I still want to die. Matrix has thought me a lot about myself, despite it making me loose so much of myself that some days I don’t even recognize the person in the mirror. I’ve learnt to love myself. Because there will be certain points in your life where you’re so irrevocably alone and you’ve gotta lick your own wounds. So what I’ve learnt is that fuck self love is so fucking important.
             I’ve also learnt a lot about the person who I thought I wanted to be, and also the person I want to be now. I learnt that the most important thing in life is to be an actual good person, and that’s all I want to be in life honestly. I want to be good, genuine and I’m slowly getting there. I want to help, I want to love, because on my darkest of days, having a string of fucking straight A’s for every exam, that shit’s so fucking useless. Being a good person is underrated, good, genuine people should be celebrated, should be put on fucking pedestals on life.
             I’ve been so blessed in my life, minus the fucked up hell of matrix that I’m at, I just want to cry and die and smash things, that place fucks me up. BUT OTHER THAN THAT haha I’ve been so blessed with a lot. A lot of love, choices and everything and sometimes it overwhelmes me to the point of tears, so that’s why I wanted to give back. I want to give back to the people who don’t have that choice, who don’t have the comfort, the safety. And this us me being clear that I want to give it to the WOA. Bless them, everyone deserves to feel safe, appreciated, and loved, so hopefully, I can play a small teeny part in helping these unfortunate women and children be somewhere a tiny bit closer to a life they deserve. And I hope I receive clarity, about myself and my life in return, does that make me selfish?
             This year has also thought me a lot about the people around me, and this new lessons have pushed me to love myself, because people even the closest to you, are fucked up and when given the chance will fuck you up as bad. I guess what I learnt is that once you find that genuine ass group of people who love you and actually want the best and want you to be happy, hold on to them for dear life because fuck genuine people are more extinct than fucking white tigers. Don’t expect people to do shit for you, do it and be that person for yourself, but know how people think and feel. Fuck with people who want you to be actually happy, and want the best for you, because those people are the best and what you can do for the universe in exchange is wish everyone to be happy and to wish the best for them. And be genuine.
             Also know that if people screw with you, the problem is actually within them and rarely you. That’s the thing about toxic people, they are filled with so much toxic that its bound to leak, and the closer you get the more potent it feels and gets. And also never, ever trust anyone wholeheartedly, roommates or cousins or classmates baby I know you just want to belong but they don’t care about you at all, they really don’t and understanding this and finally comprehending this will kill a part of you, but honey you’re a string as bitch and you yourself can revive it. And never put so much emotion into any relationship because how good it is, it will come back to bit you in the ass.
             So tie an allegorical bow around this, don’t expect shit from people, emotions, actions, be that person for yourself because despite whatever the world tells you, you deserve it. You so deserve it. Choose good people who want you to be happy and what you can do for this world is be your authentic self and be genuine cz baby that’s beautiful.
             And that’s my year, fucked up, messy and weird but beautiful nonetheless. It  was a year of awakening, understanding and broadening of perspective and I’m honestly proud of myself for making it this far. And to top it all of I am fucking amazing and I know that and I don’t need anyone to tell me that or fucking otherwise. Peace out, its been one hell of a ride.
0 notes