#i just. i dont know. i find that shit so hurtful when ppl make it into a big fuckin joke. like why is that funny to you.

[toastsnaffler]

prev post reminds me a friend told me last week she doesnt believe i actually struggle with emotional volatility/dysregulation like ive mentioned before bc shes never seen it firsthand...............

#i dont even know what to tell u girl. i couldnt even give her examples to dispute it bc i find it so shameful and difficult to talk abt #and it would probably be upsetting to her to hear the sort of things that have triggered me. and how ive coped with the outbursts #as if i dont structure all social interaction in my life around trying to swallow this shit down so ppl find me just about tolerable enough #genuinely hurtful thing to hear from someone i care abt. im not upset at her anymore abt it bc what would be the point man #i can understand why she thinks that + i cant control what she believes. but it did bother me a lot + some trust has been lost there. #esp considering she struggles w getting ppl to believe her when she talks abt how she feels bc she doesnt necessarily express it outwardly #in ways other ppl expect. like since ik that im always going to try to assume shes being honest so i dont disrespect how she feels #but its hypocritical + more than a little unfair to not offer other people the same trust + respect. why wont u take me at face value #and anyway why the hell would i say i struggle w controlling my emotions if i dont. what clout am i getting from claiming that #even admitting it is a hard thing for me.... and if thats too much for her to accept it just becomes a barrier in our friendship. #shame but i shouldve expected it tbh. anyway its ok ive moved on no point dwelling on it i dont want to bring it up again #bc theres nothing to gain from it. an apology wouldnt change anything since thats what she genuinely thinks #and whatever she wants to believe doesnt change the fact it is True and likely the biggest cause of strife I experience in my life #blegh stopping there bc im edging into rumination now #god im so tired. bedtime soon i think but maybe ill play a quick game or smth to make it to 10pm.... this week has been so long #.diaries

[panlyv]

a

#i really wanted to talk abt the things i like w someone but no one gives a shit lmaooooo #and ik i have a hard time sharing in general but it really fucking sucks when i do share and its crickets #its always like that too hsjxhahdnshd im like oof ok i can share a little bit!!! and then radio silence #ik it isnt >against me< bc ppl are going thru stuff but it doesn't make it less hurtful:/ #anyways i feel fucking and exhausted #my motto these past few weeks has been if i die i die #like any normal sane mentally stable person i go to bed every day hoping i dont wake up to see the next <3 #ive done worse so whatever really its not like im gonna attempt suicide again but ugh im so tired of my life lately i really just wish to d #u know #anyways #fuck me!!!!!! i hate myself!!!! im unlovable unlikable and broken and my brother in christ ive spent the last decade trying to get better #but i keep finding myself in the same place over and over again #maybe there's nothing else for me so ill just have to accept it #ill be alone forever bc my broken brain cant do anything else #haha hope i die fr xx #this is so incoherent sorry #dawn.txt

[pizzapizzadickz]

I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.

...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli

(Pt 1 for description rant)

#diary #personal #i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call #cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh. #i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions #and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard. #mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun #idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap. #bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time. #its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations #but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations. #idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays #like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload. #i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know. #but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best. #idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up. #everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate #idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown #yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont #i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be. #and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too #i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something? #idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that. #like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over. #like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting #and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired. #and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever. #or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe. #i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do. #and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?

[pastadoughie]

i am literally begging people to stop putting sexism and transphobia on my dashboard please fucking think critically abt ur internal biases for 5 secconds and please accept even an ounce of critisism without assuming that someone is attacking you unfairly

alot of you have extremely sexist beliefs that you dont recognize because within social media as a whole these are incredibly normalized, covering blatent homophobia and misandry in tumblr buzzwords doesnt make you not sexist it just lets you be sexist and homophobic and transphobic in a way that is socially acceptable and incouraged within a queer centric space

i keep seeing posts talking abt how people actively like artwork (writing, photography, drawings) more when they find out its of a butch lesbian and not just a dude, and like, if your opinion on a peice of media can change solely based on the gender of the person being depicted by it, with zero change to the character, then that implies an inharent bias against men like, just because its men doesnt mean it isnt sexism

same thing where people think that media depicting gay men is better when it explicitly isnt written by a gay man, like that implies a fundimental disrespect of the work based on the sexuality and gender of the author. if you like an artwork but then you find out its written by a trans women, and all of a sudden you think its garbage, you are transphobic, but when people try to point this same bias out for the works of queer men this is largely written off.

i know ppl will argue abt punching up and whatnot, and while i do in some ways agree with that overall sentiment, i think that we should be striving to uh, not be sexist at all, rather then just being misandrists instead of mysogenists, like, if you only care about sexism when it hurts women/women ajacent people then you dont actually hate sexism you just want it to harm a different group of people, you dont hate the system you just want to be ontop of it and benifit from it

misandry and mysogeny present in different ways, they arent a directly comparable thing, different people have things worse in different ways so its rlly hard to take a group and say "this group has it worse", like yes generalizations like that can help in an extremely broad sense, but the world is not black and white and this kind of shit is mindnumbingly complex, trying to act like there is some kind of objective scoreing system for who is more oppressed then who is just unproductive and harmful

and moreover, someone having it worse then you doesnt make you less deserving of trying to make your situation better, i dont experience racism and in many many many ways i have it easier then poc people, that does not make me undeserving of support and that doesnt make me complaining or trying to better my situation unreasonable

we can care abt the lives and want to better the situation of different groups simoltaniously, we dont have to stop caring about racism because we want to better transphobia

i get that transwomen have it rlly bad and i do not experience the exact same struggles as them, and therefore cant comment on alot of them, but so often i see erasure of queer men in order to give more focus to transwomen, and just because trans girls go through alot of shit doesnt make that ok

one thing that people have to recognize about misandry and specifically transmisandry that you dont really have to see as much with its mysogeny counterparts is that they have far more attention and people care far more about activism for queer women/women in general, queer mens experience and specifically the transmasc experience is very very very often erased and written off even by supposedly trans friendly and queer sorces, people care more about butch lesbians then they do trans men dispite the insane ammount of overlap between the two groups, when researching about historical butch lesbians alot of them are just, trans guys that people are misgendering and mislabeling as butch lesbians because ooooo woemennnnn

being transmasc myself i can say that like, the erasure of trans men is an extremely large issue, for large swaths of history the experiences of trans people arent paid attention to at all, and even looking at media coverage today, if people are going to talk abt transgenderism they are talking about it specifically under the lens of trans women

this is largely because misandry (specifically, people thinking that having cock and ball makese u somehow predatory) makes trans women an easier punching bag, trans women get more attention because they are easier for radfems (misandrists) to be bigoted against in a more violent way, if you assume all men and amab people are violent and predatory by nature then this makes justifying violence against trans women easier

and yea being a punching bag for the media is fucking hard but it does mean that activism for that group is much much much louder, more people are complaining about trans women so more people know abt the specific issues they face

but dispite trans men yaknow, also existing and recieving a shit ton of transphobia and erasure over history they dont get talked about as much, people hate us and are violent twards us but we dont nessasarily get the same outrage for our treatment

trans men are just as often get the dismissal for being women, and the outrage for being men as trans women do we just dont get as much support and thats really difficult! often people seek to treat transmasculinism as some kind of new thing like, i get the comment often that "usually its boys that wanna be girls" and its like, no. its not. its simply that people care less about us

i think that its really easy to misenterpret me here so im gonna just get this out of the way, i dont think that women have it easier then men in a broad socital sense, but also, i dont nessasarily believe that means that my complaints are invalid, being a queer woman is not a walk in the park, and neither is being a queer man, and both groups experience homophobia transphobia and sexism in different ways, so acting as if saying one is objectively worse then the other is unfair and reductive

i think that if we want to get anywhere in regards to making it easier to be trans then we need to talk about all queer experiences, you cant just, only care about trans women you have to care about all trans people, and moreover queer people in general, this means you HAVE to be vigilant about people wrapping up sexism in a tumblr buzzword packadge, you need to consume things critically and you are not immune to pipelines, people dont just wake up and become radfems you get continually fed more and more extreme idologies, being fed things that you 90% agree with untill you eventually become completely removed from the groups you were supposed to stand with

you can care about the oppression of multiple groups at once, and if you think activism in any way involves the erasure of a certain group then you have fundimentally misunderstood what youre supposed to be doing, queer men exist and they deserve support and respect and you need to be able to support and respect them without being like "ohh she is soooooo trransfemme coded" like. men can be queer and still be men, they can be queer and still deserve your love and support, i am begging.

also yes i am aware that outside of my specific experience of tumblr people fuckin hate trans girls and women in general and they dont feel the need to do this shit. but that doesnt mean what im talking about is not an issue and is not something that people need to change and address. if you find urself doing this shit you have got to reflect on yourself, you arent immune to transphobia or homophobia or sexism ESPECIALLY if you think that you somehow are magically immune. nobody is. no identity is. everybody is suseptible to this shit and it takes active critical thinking in order to combat it

#the beast speaks #i keep seeing this shit on my dash crying screaming throwing up i am begging people to get even a single ounce of reading comprehension #i get this is the piss on the poor webbed site but i try to have hope in humanity and every day i am disapointed further #retchid opinions

[thatdeadaquarius]

I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD

Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)

Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---

Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback

I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----

WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS

YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐

(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)

___________

DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches

Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)

And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing

(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)

Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone

(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)

Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)

♧

IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY

Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)

Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing

(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)

♡

Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell

(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)

♡

They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO

(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)

♤

Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.

(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)

☆

pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭

What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭

If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth

___________

Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)

That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰

God this is so long im so sorry everyone

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#my asks #ask box open #please send asks #genshin sagau #not really #im gonna still label it that but its really #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #genshin sagau ideas #genshin impact #im not putting character tags suffer #genshin god reader

[nightcolorz]

For the ask game: ❤️💚💙

YAYY thank u sm for the ask! these questions r so fun. I’m going off of the book fandom btw

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Louis <3 I think this is an affect of how likable and overtly sympathetic he is in the amc show but I've seen people getting genuinely offended over Louis being described in fandom (and by Anne rice herself) as a manipulative cold hearted ass who uses his perceived vulnerability and gentleness to distract from the fact that he is just as cruel if not crueler then the other vampires. Like Louis does nottt have strong morals or high empathy lmao. Book Louis weaponizes his privilege like a white woman crying to self victimize into making the other vampires look worse them him 😭 . He refuses to kill humans for a while not bcus it hurts him to take life (he actually takes more pleasure in it then most), he refuses bcus he has catholic brain the way a christians who say "how do atheists have morals without god?" do, misunderstanding that most people actually care about other people and dont need an existential threat to encourage them not to hurt others.

His moral compass is self centered and based in up keeping the appearance of self restraint and monk style lack of enjoying himself, not empathy. If a vampire killed u would u feel better if u knew he cried over how much he got off on it then flaunted his suffering over how little he indulged so that everyone knew how piosis he was 😭.

He is way worse when it comes to how he treats his victims then Armand who intentionally seeks out victims who r asking to die or Lestat who tries the vigilante approach. Louis kills innocents and he thinks it makes him better cuz he only does it sometimes and he feels really really bad about himself afterwards. As akasha said (paraphrased) he's the most predatory of them all.

To specify I love book Louis SOOOO much I love how shitty he is that's why it makes me sad when people mischaracterize him as sincere and get gen mad when ppl characterize him how he is in canon (a lying selfish bitch bless his heart). Like ik amc Louis at this point in canon is unambiguously in the right but he isn't like an accurate reflection of how he is in the books 😭 it's not like amc did what anne rice was trying to do more successfully, they just nulled what anne rice was doing in favor of a more likable protagonist. Which is fine, but like, there's no crime in preferring evil to the core horrible asshole Louis of the books.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I think the common fandom perception of Armand as the crazy unhinged "omg I can't believe he actually did that in the books??" sadistic maniac villain guy is funny but not really accurate. Armand explicitly not only tries to avoid violence but dislikes it and finds it hard to comprehend why someone would seek out violence and conflict.

The reason he is always doing fucked up shit isn't out of a lestat-esc desire to cause chaos, it's bcus his highly strung ptsd brain has him convinced that the world is a battle ground and he must always be defending himself and acting out in violence.

Since acting out in violence is a reaction hes been taught throughout his life to be standard and necessary, as violence is something so normalized to him he considers it more of a tedious chore then a last resort measure, he usually reacts to conflict in ways that are objectively extreme to anyone who isn't thinking from his perspective. In qotd he even asks Daniel why men choose to fight in wars, explaining that he doesn't understand the draw of violence (bcus he's not a man) and he can't comprehend the supposed thrill of it.

Then he says this in pl to Gregory

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think they are?

i was going to say Marius but I figure that's too obvious since everyone at this point knows I don't like Marius 😭 so here's an even hotter take,,,,, Lestat ‼️

Only to a degree, I think Lestat is hot and deserves the hype, but i also think he's hot in a different way then a chunk of the fandom does. Based on his book description he's kind of wonky looking, mouth too big for his face, vaguely unnerving shallow pale skin, starved 1700s peasant build but also kind of buff in the unhealthy "i dont eat regularly but I'm strong enough to carry a wolf for miles on my back" sense, weirdly small fucking feet. He def has creepy ass florescent blue doll eyes too. my point is I think when drooling over Lestat the fandom tends to forget this wonkiness in favor of blonde bombshell, Sam Reid chizzled jawline and abs, or conventionally beautiful anime twink, when they should be appreciating lestat in all his weird as shit glory.

#Ask game #tvc #the vampire chronicles #vampire chronicles #vc #armand #lestat de lioncourt #iwtv #interview with the vampire #the vampire armand #Prince Lestat #the vampire lestat #louis de pointe du lac

[yuukei-yikes]

care for my kagepro au inspired by phineas and ferb across the 2nd dimension where they hang out in a dark undisclosed location and they all have knives

this is extremely over the top and supposed to be funny btw. ayano's plot hole plan that makes no sense doesn't work but from another angle. she gets spit back from the daze in the same way it doesn't make sense for her to stay in there and she's still in THE AIR FROM JUMPING so erm she shatters a leg and maybe her spine too. fun times. she walks with a limp now

ayano in the daze's like. but i wanted this -> i deserved this -> im guilty i got what i wanted though -> i deserve punishment -> this IS punishment -> but i wanted this (restart) SO in this scenario where she survived she's still struggling with guilt because she DARED try to take the easy way out when she knew her siblings needed her. so now she's edgelord I must protect my siblings i dont deserve my cape (edgily puts scarf away) also the eyepatch is for extra edgelord vibes but i think it'd be cool if she can't control favoring because she's so all over the place so it's always active, and since she feels so much regret she can only project that one memory of her jumping to ppl. sad. so she covers it for the sake of everyone.

because of ayano's survival it's evident kenjirou is posessed so ayano+mekatrio move out immediately and are in actual hiding from him. that's why they're at undisclosed location. seto brings mary with them. so ayano's like ok, saeru wants all the snakes together, they're all gonna gather anyway it's better to have them all in one place and have eyes on them. so she starts the gathering process herself. in this saeru is extremely just Out There cartoonishly taking over the city style i told you this is based on phineas and ferb. i told you. btw the joke is that it's insanely over the top. i just find it episodic and joyful.

also ayano's cold to shintaro because she can't afford to have her feelings for him distract her, she has no right to normal teenage girl feelings like a CRUSH. but shintaro still believes kano as ayano saying IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT was the real ayano which matches with her new behaviour towards him so he's extremely pathetic about it. he's with her through her entire recovery and becomes her right hand man which the trio HAAATE bc ayano doesn't let them do anything but shintaro can always come<3 their missions go from buying groceries to saving haruka and takane from the evil lab to kidnapping hibiya and hiyori. shit like that.

they get hibiya and hiyori and it's their BIGGEST PRIORITY to protect them because they're saeru's next target and if they can avoid having all snakes out it's by making sure these 2 stay alive. erm they don't wanna be there though. it's dark in here and you're all weird as hell. momo is tasked with babysitting them. she's not happy about it.

momo never gets her money controlled, dropped out from school since day 1 and the fame got to her head so she's kinda awful. she's the only one allowed out of wherever the fuck they are because of work she's literally the one paying 4 everything. toxic yuri situation with kido who has one side of their head shaved. you know how it goes. also kido acts rly tough like they're out there killing thugs and goons but mostly they just make food

takane is the medic in the same way barbers used to be surgeons in the middle age which means everyone tries really hard not to get hurt so they don't have to go to her. also saeru's whole Experiments on haruka and takane thing is a lot more evil and ermmm she has one less leg and she's permanently connected to a reactor thing of sorts so she's also the team's tech! woohoo!! it's unknown whether she got opening eyes or not because she has no idea how to activate it which makes ayano rly frustrated. same goes for haruka who has not woken up since aug 15. which is the main reason takane started watching youtube tutorials on medicine. get you a girl who will take care of you if you're in a coma and there is no access to a hospital.

seto and mary wield weapons for one reason or another. kano is extremely guilty about shintaro's guilt but also hates him more than ever bc ayano won't trust him anymore and now shintaro's the one knowing everything. probably some doomed yaoi in there somewhere. this is my evil kagepro au

#kagepro #kagerou project #my art

[mostlymaudlin]

ooooooh ok juicy sfc posts happening !! i rly honestly truly love to see it. here's my unasked for two cents, as someone who did find the story really hopeful. im posting this not to like, discourse or disagree or discount what im seeing, but to just maybe offer a different pov for ppl who might be trying to file this story away in a less devastating way.

i, of course, think baz deserves better than what he gets from his family. we all deserve to have families that love us unconditionally, and so many of us DONT have that -- including baz. that hurts !! i also think simon didn't deserve to lose his magic, and penny didn't deserve to take on the sole responsibility for keeping simon safe, and agatha didnt deserve to be shoved into every princess/damsel role ppl cast on her, etc etc. 

what i like so much abt this series is that ppl dont get what they deserve, but theyre still okay. its why i also love the end of awtwb -- simons LICH ER ALL Y crying lol. he got a whole mega-bucket of extra trauma dumped on his plate that he hasnt even started to process. but its still so clear that he's got the support he needs to live a good life alongside this terrible knowledge. the mage fucked him over even more than he knew, but he doesnt have to define himself by these terms anymore -- we've seen his growth in this regard.

bazs main arc in the series is about how he sees himself -- in crudely simple terms, he rly wants to be a Good Guy (you know, not a vampire, straight, a good pitch etc etc) but sees himself as cursed with that impossibility. this continues as his idealized Good Guy self develops over the course of the books into something that actually feels more achievable to him and is less reliant on the shit his family put on him growing up. 

the cool thing about snow for christmas is that -- just like when simon finds out abt the mage at the end of awtwb -- we get to see baz's new sense of self tested. we get to see what he's using to draw the lines of morality. and we get to see that while of course he still cares about what his family thinks, and it still causes him anxiety and trauma and all the shitty things that he doesnt deserve -- he has grown from that place where their value system can make him hate himself.

and moreso on the hope part -- the grimms value, above all, the ability to fit into the roles they think theyre supposed to hold. its bullshit, and they've both caused themselves problems and absolutely are fucking up their children. daphne fully had to be saved by a cult bc of it and shes still not over that mindset -- these ppl need therapy lol. so it's def sick n twisted that they're celebrating baz being able to hide better rather than celebrating who baz is, but is this not the utmost sign of love that they're capable of? baz gets to fit in better -- that's all they've ever wanted for him, whether we agree with that or not. baz seems to recognize the balance of this in the story. he narrates the rest of the dinner with a sort of dry, relieved, disbelieving tone. it’s like hes huffing a laugh, shaking his head, thinking, “did i really used to pin so much of myself on this stuff? how silly.” he is not distressed bc he understands his parents, and he has, again, divorced his sense of self from their expectations. so much so tht he says fuck it and gives simon the lil kissy at the end, because THIS is his new value system: he ALWAYS kisses simon goodbye!

so, is this a step forward for the grimms being more supportive parents? yeah, maybe not. maybe it never gets better than baz hiding his fangs at dinner and everyone doing the bare minimum to accept simon's role in baz’s life. that's not what baz and simon deserve. but it could be enough, because simon and baz have different ways that they measure their happiness by. they have each other and penny and shep and ruth and agatha and niamh and every other person they'll meet in the many, many years ahead of them whose opinions they can choose to make important to them, or reject. i love this for them! the true queer hope story imo. thats what i want for myself and for the people i love. 

to be clear: this story made me sob so hard i scared my cats. (im not rly a crier, they did not know what to do). i had to put it down in the middle because i couldnt see the page. any queer person who has Family Shit is bound to get whammied lol. but! i personally find comfort in the idea that we can coexist with people who are important to us but also very difficult to be around, even if its not totally what we deserve. its a very quiet, somber hope -- but that only makes it feel more real to me. 

#snow for christmas #snow for christmas spoilers #idk if we're still doing that hahahha #sfc #ss #a #<my ol simon snow analysis tag LOL been a while

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[multifandombullshitbabes]

It rly annoys me when ppl call rossi a racist for (checks notes) being forced by a group of bullies when he was 9 to pee on a black boy who was also being bullied. In fact, in the episode itself, rossi is shown clearly regretting n feeling guilty abt what happened, even tho he was literally 9 yrs old and also a victim in his own way.

Am i saying that rossi has never ever even thought of anything racist ever? Of course not. Ffs, even today many ppl, including me, will catch themselves thinking in ways that actively oppress many many people, but especially people of color, and especially black people. Its systemic. Its in everything, its almost ridiculous.

Let's think logically. Yes, rossi has a reputation; and after he left the bau, he reallyyyyy lived by it. But do y'all really think he could've been that good of a profiler, been respected by his peers and others that came after him, by gideon and hotch themselves, if he was a racist piece of shit? Do you? Do yall really think if he was racist he could be objective when necessary? And if he wasn't, dont u think it would be noticeable? Yes, he might still be respected as a great agent, but not as a good person, certainly not by hotch or gideon who obviously liked him before n after he left the bau.

Then again, he had a reputation to uphold. This suave cocky guy, works alone, thinks hes better than everyone, rich as fuck, etc etc. And thats what we and the team see when he first comes in. He's not there to be part of the team, hes there on his own mission. He doesn't need nobody.

So what does he do? Makes sure that he is useful ofc, but not likeable or attachable. He makes morgan n jj go to that bar knowing that they would lose respect for him afterwards, n he keeps picking on Derek, the next tough guy next to hotch, since hotch knows him n would see right through him. He makes no effort to understand Garcia at first, n he does everything to show that he comes from another time, he did things differently, n he doesn't care if they dont like it because, at first, he also does not care.

But morgan saw through him, cuz hes nothing if not smart n sharp and, importantly, a people's person kind of guy. He understands emotions (even tho sometimes he doesn't want to inspect his own n might lash out when hurt and frustrated, especially if those that hurt n frustrate him are the very very few he trusts), and so he understands rossi, cuz hes not stupid. And after that, the team just naturally grows on rossi, as they ought to do.

I dont think rossi is racist. I think he knows how he comes across n uses it to self isolate at the start, but then he drops it when he realises thats not rly what he wants, especially when he realises that the team can help him find who hes looking for.

#criminal minds #david rossi #hey look i posted a thing #shit talking but seriously (or not) #theres some real real valid criticism of this show especially the later the seasons u go on #but i just think this is a massive misinterpretation of a character. and it kinda annoys me

[murdrdocs]

celeste I’m dying and need help (this is super fucking long I’m actually so sorry)

so this guy that I’ve been friends with since literally 8th fucking grade likes me and asked me to go out with him but I don’t like him back but I’m too scared to reject him because I’m the type of person to feel AWFUL if I hurt someone’s feelings. Everyone tells me that it’s not my problem and that I shouldn’t feel bad but like I CANT.

I really wished I liked him bc he’s super sweet and literally said he’d buy me sour patch kids and give them to me when we go out (but I feel bad when people buy things/do nice things for me too) and I’ve been trying to give him so many hints by either straight up avoiding him when he asks me out (this is all over text btw) and I also told him “if I wanted sour patch kids, yk id get them myself. plus I feel bad when people buy things for me” and he’s like persistent on it.

and to make it worse, he got rejected by a different girl a few months ago and literally cried. me and my friends (cause he’s in our friend group) were like “comforting him” (basically telling him she wasn’t worth his time bc she was kinda rude abt rejecting him) and stuff like that, so I don’t wanna hurt him again.

he knows I had a toxic ex but doesn’t know the full extent, and bc of that ex, I’ve literally not had a crush since him bc he traumatized me.

anyways I genuinely tried summarizing this super quick but I’m sorry it got so long, I understand if you don’t want to respond/read the whole thing, but if you do then thank you!!! <333 (sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I’m just panicking rn and my autocorrect is working overtime)

-‼️

okay i'm gonna give it to u so straight: u gotta bite the bullet man. i get that ur empathetic but think abt this, if u do go out w him your feelings are most likely not going to change. then you'll be stuck, eventually he'll figure out/find out that u don't rlly like him. and it'll be a massive gigantic shit of a mess.

it sucks and it can be a sticky situation but the only way you'll get out of it is by being honest and putting ur foot down so to speak. plus it'll suck for a little while but if he's a good and true friend, he'll eventually move on and you guys will be just Friends again. and you can't be upset abt it forever like actually. you'll feel bad for a little while but eventually your body/mind will do what it needs to and you'll be okay again.

as for going abt it, avoidance neverrrr works in my experience. (been there trust) you have to tell him straight up that u dont want him. and if he is still persistent, then that's a major red flag (also trust me) and u do not want that in ur life.

also also, ppl get hurt unfortunately that is a part of life. if u don't hurt him, someone else will (sounds bad but it's true) and u aren't responsible for other ppl's feelings/how they react. all u can do is live ur truth and look out for no. 1.

anyway i hoped this helped? i am ... not the best at giving advice pertaining to men/guys/boy species without being a bitch abt it but i truly did try to set aside my erm ... dislike to help u. but get other advice too and ultimately go w ur gut (and ur head be logical but not too logical)

#it'll all work out eventually dw #celeste’s chats #–𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 ‼️

[yooniesim]

any suggestions for becoming a sims based blog? I used to do it back in the hayday of sims 3 but it's been YEARS and I still absolutely love making sims, but I'm too shy and nervous to interact with the community ;;;

hi nonny! this is a complicated question that I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask lol but let me try it out. I think I'm gonna separate it into two parts for ease of reading. And sorry if it's a bit more cynical than you probably expected. I've just learned a lot i wish I had done from the start, lol. So here we go.

Sims content

Post whatever tf you feel like. If you love making sims, post the hell outta them and don't worry about what anyone thinks. There's no one perfect type of content to appeal to everyone; the community is made up of a million smaller niche ones. Editors, sim makers, gameplayers, storytellers, cc makers, etc. If you're passionate about it, you'll find people that love your posts. So don't worry too much.

Don't get too hung up on editing, if you want your pics to look "better" then use gshade/reshade and/or simple psd actions to your liking. Don't let it get stressful cos it ain't worth it. If you don't enjoy editing, don't do it at all. (I wrote more about how I edit & make it easier in this post)

Try your very best not to worry about notes. I know it's hard. Everyone wants their stuff to be seen, but when it comes to engagement on here, you're aiming for quality over quantity. A few awesome mutuals commenting on your stuff is way better than 600 silent likes. Also, having more attention sucks bc it brings the vile swamp rats out of their holes to see what shit they can stir up. The brief serotonins aint worth it. Just aim to find a few cool ppl to talk about your sims with cos thats all that matters.

If you want, find bachelor/ette or similar challenges ppl are doing and submit sims for them. And once you get some mutuals/followers, open sim requests so you can make sims for people. It's super fun and awesome to see your sims in other people's games! And you don't have to talk too much if you don't feel like it, but it's an easy way to get involved with others.

Social stuff & safety

Comment on peoples posts often if you like them. Engage with ppl. Reblog posts you see you like but don't really have any reblogs. I know you said you're shy but, this is most of the way to actual have mutuals that enjoy talking to you and comment on your stuff as well. You can just not talk if you want but it'll make it harder to have any engagement unless you're really good at edits or cc making.

Don't get involved with drama/discourse, it means nothing and amounts to nothing. If you're going to boost someone else's post, look into it first and look for evidence that it's even true before you reblog. If people hate on you in your inbox, block the anon and don't respond even to laugh at them. Block anyone that gives you bad vibes. They look at you funny, breathe wrong, use a color you don't like. Block. If anyone tries to start shit with you, block & completely ignore them & don't comment on it. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it, and people will move on if you ignore them.

Don't reveal any personal info about yourself on here or to anyone in DMs. Don't use your real name. Don't have anything connected to your other socials. Don't trust anyone on here with your vulnerable emotions, past trauma, etc. And don't say anything in DM you wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone else on the internet potentially seeing.

If you pledge to people on patreon, be aware that your email will show up on their end when you do. Dont use your real name as your patreon username.

If simblr is causing you stress, you feel like your mental health is suffering, take breaks. Log off or delete the app for a while.

And... I think that's all I can think of for now. If there's anything else detailed you wanna ask about feel free. But these are just my general thoughts. Good luck, nonny :)

#asks #anonymous #ceci speaks #i feel like this anon is so nice and hopeful #compared to how i sound lol #sorry if i got scary or something #😂 #its really not that bad on here #if you block all the weirdos #but #keep yourself safe #all the same

[faggotron9000000]

genuinely i think i've spent [~8yrs, the majority of my adult life & the entire time since i've known i was trans] trying to find a justification for how the ideology that i fled to-- queer feminism-- is so consistently hostile to me both online and off, and i just can't. i can't find solutions to the fundamental inconsistencies of the liberal queer feminism zeitgeist i (voluntarily but also necessarily) live in, and also recognize my own humanity.

i dont think you can have a truly trans-inclusive feminism that is also constantly suspicious, derisive, and in-defense-from men or masculinity.

i think the greatest crime & defining feature of White Feminism™ is a lack of self-awareness about the ways womanhood can be weaponized in service of white supremacy-- the ways that white womens' fears and tears are (both intentionally and unintentionally!) used as justification for racist & classist violence. the notion that men are privileged over women is only true in some contexts, and whiteness is (or at least should be, imho) the most glaring one.

imho, self-awareness about the ways that i can be dangerous and hurtful, even unintentionally, is like, my most basic responsibility as someone who thinks racism and sexism are bad. white dude allyship 101 is being self-aware enough to recognize when some interpersonal conflict or rudeness Aren't Really Personal-- recognizing that minority communities and individuals have rational & predictable self-defense mechanisms, and its kind and respectful for me to be understanding and accommodating about that even when it hurts my feelings. that's a piece of the cultural philosophy that i still agree with.

so i think it kind of just pisses me off to see that white feminism still has not grown much self-awareness about the ways that white women (& """"women""") can be dangerous themselves. the responsibility that i feel to forsake my own comfort for the good of others is not shared by white non-men. this suffuses the culture in ways that seem subtle, and are difficult to articulate, but don't feel subtle to me.

when i point out that norms in the culture are actually bad for me, my fellow trans queer feminists get angry and defensive. i cannot get my nonbinary roommate or upstairs neighbor or nonbinary-upstairs-neighbor's-cis-guy-roommate to stop calling me "them" no matter how much i ask them not to. i can't log on to social media without seeing memes about all the ways men suck-- t4t jokes, short king jokes, #notallmen, if men could get pregnant, men will literally X instead of get therapy, Types Of Guy, on and on and on. just constant humiliation and a thousand people rolling their eyes and waxing poetic about how its my duty to just take it.

i personally stopped making "men are trash" jokes in college bc 1) i was taught that public self-flagellation can be self-serving, and bc 2) i realized that every complaint about men as a class included black men, and i didn't feel like white ppl like me could talk that kind of shit and still consider ourselves allies. and like, i don't know, i still fucking feel that way?

i think that awareness of race has fundamentally informed my philosophy about gender, to the point that i that i think gender theory inevitably drifts into racism (or, more often, takes a sharp fucking turn into it) when it tries to be agnostic of race. to claim that men have an inherent power and privilege over women requires you to ignore the historical precedent where "protecting white women & children" has been the professed justification for racist violence (central park karen being a vivid recent example). and when you realize that this context is so important to this supposedly-universal male/female (or "men/non-men," the difference here is semantic) power dynamic, it starts to reveal the other contexts where men do not actually have the kind of power or clout that pop feminism seems to think we universally possess.

i don't know how to tell other queer people that i take it for granted that i am a man and that when they say "men" they mean me, too. i don't know how to tell people that living among self-avowed queer feminists has not led me to a people who are kind and accepting and treat me like i'm worthy of care in a way that the outside world of cishet people do not-- they all treat me like trash, and in a lot of the same ways. other queer people remind me constantly that they think i am stupid and annoying and they would love to never think of anyone like me ever again. and i don't see other groups of people receiving this standard i'm held to, that i have a moral responsibility to grow a thick skin, that "men who aren't trash know that when i say 'men are trash' i'm not talking about them." and like, i don't know, whether that's fair or not, i can't really deal with it, because i'm a person with my own traumas and my own intersections of oppresssion and whatever. i don't know. it feels [insulting? undignified? wrong?] to me to justify my like, right to dignity and care from my community, by citing that i am part of a minority group, i guess. like i think we all deserve those things bc we're human.

people don't really like it when i say i think that #notallmen hashtags-- implying-if-not-outright-stating that every individual person who IDs as a man is responsible for bearing the guilt for every sexual assault, every rude comment, every stereotypically bratty opinion ever held by another man-- was a perverse and pointed piece of widespread cruelty-- and pointing out that it was also tangentially transphobic doesn't do much to engage their sympathy, either. people think it's normal to treat me like i'm frightening, like i'm an enemy, like i'm dangerous-- trans men, trans women, and gnc butches-of-all-sorts have our emotions and behavior aggressively policed by other queer feminists based on our proximity to Obviously Scary Bad Cis Maleness & Masculinity. people put ads on lex for parties where No Cis Men Are Allowed and nobody has any inkling of why that's fucked up. cis gay men have a reputation for being transphobic, but nobody bats an eye when my lesbian friends think its cute to make gagging noises when i talk about finding men hot and wanting to fuck them. my broke transsexual ass is expected to lend infinite shoulders to cry on to every financially secure, college-educated, white ~non-man~ who wants to complain about the emotion work they do for men while also asking me about my genitals and regarding me with this weird mix of disgust and jealousy. i have to listen to other trans people complain about cis ppls' ignorance and cruelty while being ignorant and cruel towards me, and then when i point out my own burden in this exchange, they claim that i'm only upset because i don't respect their transness.

like, fuck, man, i'm tired, i've been tired for a really long time, everyone is so rude and disingenuous and solipsistic in dealing with actual ethical challenges. i just know that i'm expected to put up with a lot of shit that i wouldn't dare do to other people, either because i know it's uncouth because of the position i inhabit by merit of being a white man, or because i think it's just fucking cruel and disrespectful to say to anybody. i'm annoyed that the burden of trans allyship and antiracist allyship end at the border of white non-mens' comfort zones, that performative displays are vogue but actually leveling up your philosophy to incorporate consideration for new groups of people... isn't. i'm pissed off that a community that credits itself with trans pride and inclusivity seem incapable of taking the exact kind of criticism that they've bludgeoned me with for the last decade.

idk man it seems like every social ill that white feminists complain about suffering at the hands of men, they have also inflicted on me personally, as a trans man with a personal investment in the cause and the philosophy. there doesn't seem to be a social space for me where people genuinely treat me like a human who is worthy of care and community. "trans inclusivity" means not using the phrase "women's issues" to refer to abortion and never, like, actually thinking about how feminist culture is received by trans men. the shallowness makes me grind my teeth into dust, seemingly every time i talk to new people or log onto social media some jackass has to stomp on a nerve and then either get defensive or start crying when they're called out. it seems like taking cis white rich men down a peg by generalizing their sins as the sins of all men is more of a priority for feminism than treating someone like me as if i deserve dignity.

im currently reading queer theory books from the 90s that have better answers to contemporary gender-ethical questions than the fucking, twitter kink-at-pride discourse carousel and whatever. are we ever going to grow up or is feminism just going to end up in the reactionary dustbin of history, bc this new wave of terfdom does not look great for the philosophy's future

#fuck sorry i've just been like furiously mad for like 3 days solid #at this point i think i'd make more friends hanging out with leftist punks than with other queer people but eh grass is always greener #shit for brains roe v wade takes are coalescing like a decade of my frustrations with pop feminism #disk horse #the answer to the final question there is no

[notthestarwar]

for the WIP game, can you tell me more about ‘Fox gets a job- quin/ Fox’ 👀👀

thank you for asking!

OK so i know i've talked about this on here before but i love this au so i'm gonna repeat myself a bit probably.

so its set post war, no order 66. The idea is that the war opened everyones eyes to cloning, in a very bad way. loads of half bit criminals are like. free labour? people we can raise to do whatever we want? why don't we give it a try. theres a background of a lot of shitty gangs going about trying out cloning in a way that would horrify the kaminoans really. this is not good science, this is comic book-esque backstreet cloning in order to take advantage of people.

they are largely not successful. the problem isnt that there are loads of gang owned clones around. the problem is that they keep trying even tho they dont know shit about cloning and so vulnerable ppl are getting kidnapped off the streets for gennetic material and in a baby farm type way to grow clones in. its bad.

enter fox. he's drifting after the war. he doesnt really know what too do with his life. he is looking for a job and he says he wants a job but everytime he gets an interview he's overly honest and tells them things like 'yeah i killed my last boss' (palpatine) and 'my greatest flaw? i'm too competent. it makes my bosses feel inferior' and so understandably nobody will give him a job

he doesnt actually need a job. quin is paying all his bills cause theyre in a weird not relationship and wont admit they care about eachother. fox is deadly embarrased about whatever quin funding him and spending all his days off in fox's apartment might signify and so it is a MASSIVE SECRET that must be kept from fox's brothers.

so fox at this point in his life, stumbles on to one of these cloning ops and ends up helping someone. and it becomes kind of addictive. he wont admit it but helping these people, who are being hurt by cloning, settles something in him. maybe it settles the thing in him that he wont admit is so hurt by the cards he and his brothers have been dealt, by what was done to them.

so fox sets up as a private investigator. but because he's a weirdo who runs from intimacy he kind of. doesnt tell anyone (he cant. this is important to him) but of course, his brothers find out anyway and they also find out that he's running the worst business ever because he's not taking money from his clients. because he doesnt feel right doing it.

now where this is building to (and this is the part that i kinda got stuck on) is he stumbles on to a BIG criminall gang cloning conspiracy. one where they are actually succeeding in cloning people. he ends up investigating this one with Boba! which pretty much happens cause at the start before he knows how big this is, he walks in to this lab, and who has also broken in to the lab and is investigating the same conspiracy? BOBA. and its just like. fox and boba stood on either side of this illegal lab like. spiderman meme pointing. looking out of the window of a car as they drive past each other. that vibe.

and the rest of the story is boba and fox on this unwilling team up. neither of them wanting to admit to feelings but having to kind of both admit. yeah. bad things happened to us and i dont like the idea of anyone else being out there with similar stuff happening to them. they also unwillingly get close. then theres the side plot of fox having to admit his feelings when it comes too quin and admit that theyre kinda living like theyre in a committed relationship without the words. and then the other thing thats going on in the background is cody and obi wan, who are living together, in a happy relationship apart from the fact that they never have an empty house becuase one of them is aways inviting some wayward sibling or other to stay with them. cody and obi wan respectively have no shortage of family so its just constant and both of them act like theyre annoyed each time the others do it, but really, its why they love each other and theyre both so big brother coded and yeah.

so i know i've alread shared some bits of this here and here (and possibly theres a third one floating around here as welll? cant find it)

so here are some other snippets from other parts of the au:

and from a bit later on, a quin/fox bit

later on, fox being uncharactaristially honest (it's easier when the person doesnt matter to him)

and finally, fox's thoughts on the cloning problem

and i've shared loads sorry so i'll stop now, but yeah. this is an idea i am very excited about and i am very frustrated that i havent been able to form a conspiracy that fits right for him and boba to investigate

#ask game #wip ask game #snippet #notthereply #fox gets a job #text in alt

[mkmoka]

#HIIII and happy opening day to magickai! i’m lenny bringing you umeda moka (she/her, b. 2003) – she’s a new muse catered specifically to this verse, so i’m excited to start writing and developing her ☺️ check out her links here: about / biography (plz this is coming soon) and under the cut will be a rundown of her information. LIKE this post if interested in plotting, and i will be sliding into ur ims!!!!!!! ok. without further ado. let’s go.

INFO

moka is born on june 3, 2003 to magical lineage – her parents are both magi and so are many of her ancestors before her. she has an older sister, sora, so she’s the youngest in the family

growing up her parents were way more lenient with her than they were with sora bc sora was expected to be the heir and everything

girl sure did act like it too btwKWNDKEJDK she was way more loud and outspoken about her beliefs, thoughts, and feelings while moka was someone who would just. shut up and accept how things would go... not her best trait tbh but what can u do….

moka seemed a lot less motivated in life compared to other people growing up which is kinda sad bc ur like 13 girl why are u already so nonchalant about how ur future goes but i digress

sora always got more attention from people too. relatives, people who were interested in her, moka’s own classmates. moka never really minded however… bc she knew that she thrived in other areas

so we fast forward to when moka is 15 and sora is 17. sora wasn’t showing any signs of having any magical abilities at all so this was when she got more stressed as well as when their parents started putting their stress ON her… sora got meaner with her words and seemed more withdrawn during this time so this kind of strained the sisterly relationship they previously had where it was moka getting doted on

moka starts branching out during this year…. finds her passions and starts taking her hobby of volleyball more seriously, makes some good friends (some 4lifers prob)

in april, she comes into her powers of air manipulation and gets visited by an elder.

her companion is a hamster that looks like hamtaro strangely WNFMEJKEBSKD her name is yua and dont let her cuteness deceive u… shes always up to some shit..

an elder visiting moka made sora even MORE withdrawn from her like. and in blind rage she tried to kill moka like, she literally tried to kill her and this is the root of why moka seems so distant from everybody. this is when they come to terms that the magi gene probably skipped sora

in may, a month later, moka moves to korea to escape it all. her parents make her promise to keep what happened in april a secret, scared to seem like a broken family. they introduce her to their friends in jeju that allow her to stay with them

ofc she’s heard about lumera.. the people she stayed with encourage her to actually enroll in there and she studies her ass off for the written exam portion and since most of her parents circle are magi….. they help her out a lot regarding her powers. help her improve, help her find out what her limits and strengths are, help her with the evaluation section of the exam

she gets her acceptance letter in late june!!!! a few weeks after her birthday in a country she’s new to!!! yay!!! #Moka1stWin

now moka’s a sophomore and she majors in magical metaphysics and struggling with her own stress and trauma + controlling air manipulation bc it can be overwhelming sometimes… shes just a girl…

as for PERSONALITY….. she’s someone u have to get to know to love because her first impression isn’t that strong like. u’d just be like. “okay”. she’s distant and ends up hurting herself as well as other ppl in her process of retreat. moka is more shy and tbh i feel like she’d be a fun person to tease bc she wouldn’t be upset or do anything back just sit there. Probably embarrassed as hell probably would be like “uhhh” JWNFKSKDKNDJD

WANTED CONNECTIONS

moka… needs… a friend… who she can open up to about everything. she’s dismissive at first so a muse that’s extroverted and encouraging to what she wants to do would be all she ever needs like. seriously. or an unlikely friends situation would be very cute too!!!! either way, this muse would have to sign an nda contract so that her parents don’t come for both her and them…

i feel like she needs somebody to see as a sibling here especially because she’s been lonely these days… someone she’s met since her first days at lumera and made her feel right at home somehow. moka is always looking after them to make sure that they’re not pushing themselves harder than they need to, too

people she gets off on the wrong foot with… like yeah her usual state might be idgaf-ism but she also needs some spice in her life…. this muse might’ve gotten frustrated at moka’s lack of ambition, and i feel like moka wouldn’t work well with those with too much of it, as well as cocky personalities

japanese childhood friends that drifted apart from each other and they recently get to reconnect.. how their friendship would look like now would be up to us :3

someone who’s been tutoring her korean. she’s advanced level at the language now because of highschool year determination and has been living in sk for like. a year but she would still appreciate help! maybe they met at korean literature club or smth

MOKA WORKS AT BUBBLING BOBA…. her regulars that she doesnt remember by name but by their boba order WLMDMSNDK if they end up meeting on campus she’s just gonna be like. “omg it’s you milk tea boba with 50% sweetness and light ice”

she’s still bitter abt being kicked out of volleyball club. so. friends she made at volleyball club that she now is “mad” at for stealing her position… friends she still plays volleyball with outside of the club.. etc etc

unrequited crushes that moka makes so obvious that she feels something for them yet she thinks it’s the opposite and is still “hiding” it like. and maybe this time she’s getting distanced from.. let’s see how she reacts to that.. LFMDJDJJS

in that same vein, old exes bc i feel like she wouldn’t be the best in a relationship 😭😭😭 i wanna explore her being guilty regarding it plus… i’m sure it’ll make fun threads!!!!

people to help her get on track, get her motivated with “saving the world” and everything else that has to do with it. moka will be like “uhhhhh” at first but at the end of the day she’ll be the most grateful

i also do prefer figuring things out 1 on 1 and bouncing off on each others ideas so.. let’s brainstorm!!! 🥹 i will appreciate all of the plots u hit me with 💓

#mk:intro #i just got the yass meal