#i just. feel like so many ppl dont understand my attachment to certain things and my hyper fixation and things like that that make me happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wri0thesley · 3 years

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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the-starset-system · 3 years

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Do you got any ideas for increasing communication? I really wanna talk to my system but it's so hard :(

I could just give you the common advice but you can find all of that with a quick Google search. Lemme give you some stuff that's personally helped us:

GET OUTTA mY RoOm IM PLAyiNG MINECRAF

Lmao I couldn't resist, but yee, Minecraft has actually helped us communicate more than anything. It gives everyone creative freedom and with mechanics like signs and books it's easy to leave notes within the game. The littles adore it too :D

I actually have a lot to say about playing as a system on Minecraft, so I might make a separate post if any of you want to hear. I'll probably be discussing how it helps and how to set all that stuff up, since figuring out how everything would work with inventory and stuff rattled our brain at first (;ŏ﹏ŏ)

Art!

Creating things is a great way to learn more about your system and maybe uncover trauma details in a more gentle fashion! We personally draw and write, but music, dance, videos, etc. all work!

It doesn't even have to be about your system, it could be feelings or thoughts. Just something to pick your brain, to learn more about yourself since it's easy to fall down a pit when you don't know who you are, let alone your system.

That's one of the most important things in my opinion, having a grounded sense of self before really jumping into everything. When we jumped in not really knowing who we are ourselves it was hard to understand one another and I do believe that carelessness still affects us to this day, so just try to understand your own self as well

Don't laugh, but dress up games

Yeah yeah I know the kinda reputation some of them hold, but when we first discovered we were a system and started trying to work together that was the first thing we done. We knew we didn't identify with this body, but at the same time a majority of us were particularly unsure of what we did look like. Having little avatars to dress up was so helpful cause we would ask ourselves "does this feature have any significance?" or "Why am I attached to this certain feature?". Slowly after sifting through different options we could say "that's me". It was really reassuring and helped us recognize each other. It even helped with figuring out who was fronting because someone would feel unsettled about a certain feature being missing.

We still use little apps sometimes for fun or if someone new split / came out of dormancy :]

Making time

This is gonna sound silly, but think of communicating with your system the same way you would in a relationship. This is something you're likely gonna be dealing with for a good while so it's good to have close bonds with everyone. Bonds are the key to communicating cause I mean, would you wanna talk to someone you dislike?? If you're having trouble with system conflict I'd recommend checking out my other post I made about it.

But where does making time come into this? Aha sorry I actually got off topic but I feel like it's important regardless so I ain't erasing it-

What I mean by making time is well, making time. It's harder to communicate when there's so much going on around you cause you'll get distracted. What we do is set out however much free time we have that day to bundle up in our room and pretend we're sleeping, when in reality the low amount of sensory stimuli makes it easy to focus on talking to everyone. This doesn't always goes as planned, sometimes we just have bad days and can't communicate. If that's the case we'll keep trying for a few minutes before going off to do something else.

That's one thing to always remember, everyone has bad day and that's okay!

So, those are some ideas, but I also wanted to go over some things you should avoid too, kinda like do's and dont's!

Forcing communication

There's often a reason someone in the system avoids communicating, as well as a reason you may not be able to communicate with anyone. At the end of the day you gotta remember this was formed out of survival, needing to not be able to communicate, to forget, in order to properly function.

If things aren't helping then maybe give it some time, you might just not be at a good point in your life right now and your brain knows, saying "hey, we still don't feel too good, I wanna be prepared for any other tough situations we might go through" and that's okay. The mass media loves to portray ppl with DID having flawless communication and that's just not the truth. People understand it's a hard battle and I can assure you many in the community have your back :]

Fake claiming

-One of my worst habits, it's easy to say "no that's not real". Sometimes it might not be but I know from my own mistakes that more than likely it is. It can hurt a lot of system members, making them feel like their voice doesn't matter or even make them go on a spiral if they really are real.

I don't really have much more to say, it's pretty self explanatory. Just keep an open mind

You don't have to be differentiated

Another thing we're all guilty of, we thought we had to all act super different to be valid. Spoiler alert: you're valid no matter what

Once again, I feel like it's pretty self explanatory, but forcing yourself to be different from x, y, and z person sucks cause you never get to be yourself. You don't need to be differentiated, your perfect the way you are, regardless of who may share those same traits

That's all I can think of right now, but knowing me I'll come up with a million more things after I post this

I did come up with a really good explanation of what building communication is like though and I wanted to share:

Think of it as leveling up in a video game. All these tasks may seem useless but slowly your collecting XP and getting closer to your goal. That's why you gotta keep at it!

So, keep going on those seemingly useless quests and fighting that boss monster no matter how many times you get thrown to the ground, cause every last bit is worth it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

I hope this helps! Sorry if I got a bit off topic! I have a habit of that (• ▽ •;) I was writing on and off so things may be a bit choppy. Aaaa sorryyyy but thank you for the askkkk! And remember, I am not a professional and my words should not replace / overwrite seeking professional help if possible! Regardless, I hope you have a good week! 💫

#roar.exe #👾#ask response #advice #long post

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of-faunsandyellowflowers · 4 years

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Tw: long fucking post.

Sorry to keep bringing up autism but

Man..... and you dont have to read this. That's fine. I dont have anyone in my life to talk to about this so, tumblr is my space to vent 🤷‍♀️

I know I've lived with this since I was a kid, but just reading more, learning more....I finally understand why I do things the way I do. Newly diagnosed autism reaaallllyyyy was like an aha moment for me lol. And it's not just my PTSD, anxiety or anything like that...its just how my brain is. I'm starting to realize when stuff happens and why....

Yesterday, I was doing ok. I went to the store (I have a routine of going nearly at the exact same time every day) because I needed some groceries. Some days I have to have headphones because of loud noise. I hate going into regular check out lanes cuz I dont like when ppl ask me stuff. I freeze. Sometimes I'll make an odd comment that the cashier will just find odd.

Anyway, I got home and all of a sudden everything was just brighter than it usually is, louder than it usually is and nothing could block it out. I was really itchy, and could barely move. I've already got a hard time even attempting to tune shit out, I HEAR everything, SMELL everything....etc. But, when you get into meltdown mode....everything is worse.

Then I couldn't talk. My dad kept saying something to me, and I tried to open my mouth to speak but I couldnt. I put my headphones on because if I have music playing normally I can somewhat calm down and cant hear anything else but that...and it's nice to only hear one thing. This happens so often and what I once thought was just a panic attack....its not. My panic attacks arent like that.

I went upstairs....and that's when my normal 'coping' kicked in. I've just learned that my habits of 'comfort' are in fact stimming.

The things I tend to do mostly without noticing I'm doing it, some more so with meltdowns:

Blink rapidly

Twitch my nose rapidly

Move my foot up and down like I'm rocking my knee

Pick out my hair in search for these little curly hairs that grow on my head obsessively

Feel the softness of my foot from my other foot and repeatedly petting my foot with my other foot

Pet soft things

Pace. Alot.

Sway. Rock back and forth. Especially in lines.

Color by number books.....I get obsessed over them

Twiddle my thumbs, fingers,

Obsessively scratch parts of my skin

Staring, especially at walls while rocking

Biting the skin around my fingernails, or clipping the skin with fingernail clippers

Repeatedly cussing or speaking to myself

Whistle

I remember as a kid, doing all these things, in response to too much stimulation, or change in things.

I CONSTANTLY had meltdowns, shutdowns, and full on rage as a kid and would have meltdowns often. I dont have them as much now...but they are there.

Shut downs after really any social exchange for longer than a certain amount of time. I can no longer speak even if I tried.

Refusal to eat certain foods because the texture was bad, and eating the same foods over and over again, every day for months.

Loud abrupt noises????? I think the fuck NOT

Being touched. At all. Especially without my permission. I hate hugs.

Having attachments to more animals than ppl, and learning about said animals to an 'obssessive' degree.

Cant wear clothes with tags, or things that arent soft because my skin is so sensitive and it's too much (that's also to do with my fibromyalgia but it's just gotten worse since fibro)

I like to call my brain the monkey brain. It never fucking shuts up. Ever. It just swings from one thought to the next.

Do you ever go to work and actively dont go to the parties or speak to anyone st work because you know if you do you'll spout out something that no one really needed to hear? I stay away from people in life because of that. Or because they will be too loud, and I'd rather just go home and read.

Telling people things they had no desire to learn and being blunt about it is a specialty of mine that I dont seem to realize upsets ppl until they actively tell me they are upset.

Not being able to know what someones feeling unless I empathetically tune into it

Cracking jokes at inappropriate times. Laughing at inappropriate times.

Always noticing details of things and making analysis of why those things are there and trying to understand the context of it

Seeing patterns in EVERYTHING.

thinking any human on the planet who is nice to me MUST like me more than friends because that's what ppl do when they like you from what I was taught

Terrible at body language, many facial expressions, cant grasp any hints on someones intentions unless they tell me

Being told I have RBF because I dont show a lot of emotions

Told I'm extra sensitive and weird ALL the time.

Cant keep a lot of friends for too long because they find me weird

The only thing I know how to talk about is myself, or things that I'm interested in/anger me/make me feel a certain way. I also cant relate to experiences unless I myself have had it happen...

Forgetting things all the god damn time and not knowing where to put things because if I put something somewhere I'll 1. Forget about it and 2. It's not in the right 'spot' and needs to be 'perfect'. I'm a disorganized mess and if anyone helps me I freak out because I dont eant my things touched, everything has to be done a certain way.

Special interests that I'm so obsessed with....like baking, archeology, history...

I know I'm forgetting more things....just learning that this is me. This is my life, this is how I've always thought, and that's ok.

I may be the sensitive, weird, over the top person that no one 'understands'..but this is me.

I'm autistic, and that's what makes me special in a neurotypical world.

#actuallyautistic #autism #autistic #vent post #neurodiverse #stimming #actually autistic #sensory overload #spectrum #tactile stimming #audio stimming #visual stimming #movement stimming

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jedi-order-apologist · 4 years

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yooooo just wanna say im legit SO glad i found ur blog. ur fantastic at putting words together to form solid debate w/o making it feel like unwarranted aggression. u would make a fantastic jedi. i totally get why more people dont bring up the issue considering how ppl get online, but its so great to just read good jedi meta! i also think its fascinating (in like. a horrifying way) how the jedi hate in the fandom came to be, and your explanation feels like it hit the nail in the head. (1/?)

Fundamental misunderstandings about Asian philosophies, false equivocacy with the Christian religion, intolerance toward aro/aspec folk, being just flat out unable to relate to or sympathize with characters that dont act or process in certain ways, these are all things i def noticed but never had the words to put into! Ive seen the term "marital bliss" used maybe 4 times in fandom unironically, (2/?)

ALL in star wars. someone once compared the no attatchments rule to "pray the gay away" (yes about anidala, a very much het couple) The way they cry "child thief cultists!" one minute then joke over soldiers in the aftermath of a battle (that they fought in and walked away from) finding a small child in the wreckage (of what was likely their home, meaning said soldier was likely responsible for attacking and destroying and uh. orphaning them) and then taking them from the planet without (3/?)

, i dunno? checking for extended family? And i LOVE true mando culture (i am sabine wren's bitch forever and always, and each and every one of the clones are a babe) but somehow other sw culture tags, (mando and tatooine basically) are just hella anti-jedi??? and this really unfounded idea that no one in the order liked anakin, and that they didnt have a fufilling sustainable way of life after a millenia of existing, and the inexplicable but we all know why dislike for windu especially?? (4/?)

youve managed to answer so many questions while also giving and linking genuine, informative, interesting meta for anyone interested in listening and im super grateful for it! (sorry for the monster of an ask lol. also just realized i ended up talking more about negativity than anything else of the MANY things i wanted to compliment u on T^T) (5 or 6 idk anymore/?)

Thank you so much! I’m really glad that my blog and meta has been able to resonate with you and so many other people :) And I’m glad that it doesn’t come off as aggressive, because I do worry about that sometimes when I’m trying to think of the best way to word things.

It really is so unfortunate how much more criticism the Jedi get in all aspects than any other culture in Star Wars, and how often appreciation for those other cultures spends an inordinate amount of time taking potshots at the Jedi as if to bolster their favored group by comparison. Sure, in-universe, it makes complete sense for many Mandalorians to be anti-Jedi, but the fandom doesn’t need to be.

People really don’t understand the “no attachments” thing - a lot of the expanded material didn’t help with that because they too often conflated attachment with love, and people projected that onto the films. (I also think the AOTC marketing is to blame a bit too - I was only 6 at the time the film came out so I don’t really remember but a lot of the marketing stuff seems to have gone really hard on the “forbidden love” aspect. A lot of the trailers, for example, have the line where Padmé says she thought love was forbidden for a Jedi, but don’t include Anakin’s response to that explaining the difference, so of course the former part sticks out in people’s minds through repetition).

And yeah, the Order was, as far as we’re shown in the films/TCW, generally reasonable towards Anakin and did their best to support and guide him - it’s just, well, evidently guidance is criticism in the fandom’s eyes. That, and a not-insignificant part of fandom likes to woobify him, and twisting the situation into a “everybody was so mean and unfair to him” thing is a pretty standard woobification tactic.

Fanon interpretations of the Jedi are just...really annoying, in general, and if I can at least get people to consider a more charitable view, then I’ll be much happier. If not, well, at least I can commiserate about it all with other Jedi fans like you!

#sorry for taking awhile to respond to this #i hope all of your asks came through because this is all I got #anyway #thanks #discussion #on fandom attitudes #Anonymous

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noir0neko · 4 years

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sometimes i feel like ppl wanna pretend tumblr's writing standards doesnt exist but when someone actually talk about how trying to reach it tax them out, ppl go 'dont follow it!!! do you!!! be your original self!!' but end up not showing the same amount of support with the notes. and the writer ends up looking ridiculous and pathetic for voicing out their tiredness about the standards (double standards?) idk i've been thinking about this.

Hey there :)

I think I understand what you’re trying to say! I’m going to voice my thoughts on this and if it’s not what you meant, please correct me! I’m glad you felt you could share your thoughts with me, I am always here to chat <3

This is going to probably be a long post so the rest is below!

This is something that has plagued me since I began this blog almost five years ago tbh. I was super attached to getting notes and gaining followers, especially when I first started posting my work. Which created this cycle where I was writing what my followers requested and only that, and became really upset when a piece didn’t do as well as I hoped. But then I wasn’t always writing what was in my heart and forcing myself to write when I wasn’t into it, which deteriorated my passion for it over time until I took a hiatus.

As a whole, especially in fan fiction writing, and especially for BTS, there are specific AU’s and ideas that get more attention than others. Certain genres get more notes and attention, and so do stories that center around certain members. Unfortunately, that’s something that I think all fan fiction writers have to deal with, no matter the fandom or band or book series.

That makes it really hard, especially when first starting out, to NOT fall into the algorithm of putting out works that only fit within that genre. And then it becomes a habit and then a chore and can become not fun anymore. I definitely did that and that was a huge reason why I ended up leaving for so long.

I have put original works or pieces that I am passionate about, but not requested on this blog and generally, they never do as well as the more “by the book” fics. It sucks and I definitely agree with what you’re saying in many ways. While the sentiment is nice, of writing what I want and being original, that’s not what is typically successful on this platform. Not in my experience.

I still have to remind myself when I post something original to not be depressed or upset that it didn’t get as much attention as I hoped. I still have to remind myself that when I see another writer with thousands of likes on a fic they posted a week ago that it doesn’t make me any less of a writer. I also have to remind myself that my note count and my follower count doesn’t matter. But I live in a culture, especially as a woman, where those things matter very much. People see others and their worth in terms of their social status, by followers, likes, comments, etc. That mindset is hard to escape, even here on Tumblr.

I have lost a lot of followers since I came back and made my blog more diverse than just BTS. That sucks and it hurts, because this has been my baby, but if I continued to just be BTS, then I wouldn’t be able to share my diverse passions and other interests with people and would feel constricted and restrained. Before I left, I spent a long time answering ALL of my requests and putting half ass work out and I came to the conclusion during my hiatus that I would much rather put out works I felt SO proud of and have them do alright, then put out works I thought were crappy and have them do great.

I know I am staying as true to myself as I want to be on here and that matters.

As a reader and a writer, it’s always easy to encourage other people and not follow through. Sometimes certain topics or genres sing to one person and don’t for another, and that’s completely okay. I do understand what you’re saying and I feel that way, as well. I sometimes post little rants to try and engage with everyone here and to help you guys get to know me better and me get to know all of you. But most of them go ignored from what I can see on my end, and it does discourage me from posting anything personal at all.

It can be really easy to fall into a cycle of negativity on this platform, especially if I start comparing myself to other people. But I know that a lot of what I would be getting upset over is largely left to chance: people may not see what I posted come up on their dash, I just came back from a two year hiatus, pretty much all of the people I knew here before have left, and I have opened my blog to include other fandoms that some of my former followers may not want to see. There are so many variables on a website, especially one like Tumblr.

And despite feeling discouraged sometimes, like no one really reads my writing or will care about my next fic, I know I will feel proud of myself for finishing it and sticking with what I am passionate about, so I keep going!

~Admin Eggplant

#FUDGE that was a long post #sorry for the mini rant #ive been on this platform for a Long Time writing #i have a lot to say lmao #thank you nonnie for sharing!

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nulfaga · 4 years

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DUNIA

BABIEST GIRL IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HER.......

find the ask meme here, & my oc page here!

Something really awesome they can do

dunia is fully ambidextrous like some leo da vinci shit where she can be taking notes on the healing properties of local florakjdfsjhfdkj with one hand and drawing a botanical diagram with the other she has this INCREDIBLE mind that she ONLY applies to boring esoteric scholarly shit :’)

A person, creature, or thing they adore

she doesn’t have many close attachments for most of her adult life (due to being like a....well her personality is an acquired taste...like salted licorice...or turpentine).......but something interesting happens when she meets mercedes—dunia comes from a poor family living in the east of gransys (her father was cassardi) but so she has never had a formal education or attended finishing school or anything like that so....ok how do i put this

dunia is kind of like, she pretends to be soft/absentminded/airy but shes actually hard as nails.....mercedes sees that core in her and is drawn to it cause its like, how she wants to be inside....but then past that inital meeting she finds out dunia is actually a very weird scruffy little person who is vaguely unpleasant to be around so she loses interest......but THEN phase 3 is they end up chatting in the duke’s court and despite all the other shit, all the appearances and education and outside pressures....like they just vibe? like they have the same sense of humor? (dunia’s humor is SO DRY she’ll say something INSANE without any change in her monotone and play it off like nothing happened and usually no one picks up on it but mercedes always laughs her ass off)...idk yeah long story short she loves mercedes a lot i’ll get into it

A secret they’re hiding

no real secrets...she doesnt hide anything about herself she just presents herself in such a supremely specific way that 90% of people who meet her (especially men) are just like. ok boring bye. but if u are willing to put up with her for any period of time....still waters run deep right??

OH if the devs had done more w/ the elves in dd then i’d have liked for her to have some backstory abt that like idk shes looking into the Mysterious Extinction Of The Elves or fuckin search me but that might have been cool.....might still do something like that but i just like the Pointy Eare so i dont necessarily need to go deeper than that 4 myself

Something they truly fear

her own emotions honestly. she feels SO strongly, somewhere, but she’s wrapped up in so many layers of self-denial and alienation and she grew up mostly only being able to understand herself & the world thru literature, most of it academic, so she has no idea how to engage with the process of knowing herself or knowing other people. so when she feels something and it HURTS and its SCARY shes like “oh better write a research paper about this so i can pretend im not part of it”. it was like that with her loving mercedes

A fond memory of theirs

mercedes asked dunia to help her w/ sparring at a certain point and that was like...weird for a sec bc dunia is fucking vicious with a blade and normally only spars w/ her pawn galatea (who conveniently can’t die in case dunia goes overboard)....so she suddenly had to be VERY careful....they used wooden swords at first....but it was just a weird experience for her also cause like on the way to the training grounds she would point out things about the local wildlife and mercedes would like...show interest? & ask questions? Which is like what the fuck cs dunia is used to just thinking out loud & not engaging with ppl but someone is engaging her and its like WHAT....but its like a good what

A place or item which gives them strong feelings

little spectacles...they were made by hand by her father (an old elf....a distant man who loved her in his own way but like....look how she turned out u know he was one of Those Dads) & she’s had them for most of her life....she keeps them in excellent shape but they get crushed in the fight with the dragon :’(

A dream or ambition for the future

honestly without all of the arisen stuff happening she would have probably just wandered gransys (& the other demesnes) and learned the languages and written about all the peoples & plants & animals everywhere until she took all her piles of papers and got a little apartment somewhere & reread them til she died...which would have been fine. but now she has like... obligations & a position at court and potentially becomes the god of everything which is kind of a thing...so with all of that i think shed have liked to become the duke of gransys and pass boring yet beneficial legislation and for mercedes to be her general :x

An angsty fact about them

literally everything that happens to the arisen in canon is angst enough :(.

A domestic fact about them

she keeps things very clean at home....if u live with her every room in the house will be spotless except her study which will contain more paper than u have ever seen in ur life, none of it filed or marked in any way, and yet if u asked her to find her journal entry from the summer solstice 15 years ago she would have it for u in 3 seconds. shes the only person on earth that says “i have a system” and actually has one. her system is being smart and having an enormous brain

A random other fact

idk im trying to beam the IMAGE of dunia into your mind without writing a 100k fic cause i dont have the time im trying to put it like...

cause she’s such a weird little spectacle wearing little dusty little individual who always talks out loud like she’s only talking for herself (like if uve ever seen tolkien in interviews? that. like he can make perfect sense of what he’s saying but he goes so quickly and gives no context, it’s like he’s just bouncing thoughts off the outside world....thats dunia) but shes also a VERY competent fighter and can be RUTHLESS & FRIGHTENING but

its not like shes a throat-clearing little old man in the body of a 30yo lesbian elf 90% of the time and then sometimes the SeCreT DuNiA dArK sIdE comes out its like...those two aspects are both part of her personality and inform each other. thats a thing that i want to communicate. she will cut a man’s throat & the whole time be droning or muttering to herself about how the anatomical works of jacques le ballsacque could have influenced the oeuvre of milton fumperdickles shes been reading and ghjfkfnfnkfnjjddd its the same dunia

(ALSO she killed the daylights out of julien and then pointedly did not use any of her 17 wakestones to revive him. fuck that guy)

#shes not even on my oc page how did u enter my mind anon??#she gets a tag now!!#dunia qadir #Anonymous

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blackwoolncrown · 5 years

Text

Do ppl consider there are 2 forms of asexuality? Literally asking.

Before anyone gets their blood pressure up, I am functionally ace myself.

I ask bc like, outside of inclusion discourse and the LGBT sphere asexuality is also something that happens as a result of mental illness or certain diseases.

And I really want this talked out but like:

Okay so anyone who feels no sexual desire/attraction is ace, right?

That includes the person that’s ace because of meds. That includes the person that’s ace because of depression. That includes the person that’s ace because no reason at all they just feel that way. That includes the person that’s ace because, come to find out, they have a disconnect w sexual attraction bc of internalized homophobia. That includes the person that’s ace as part of their trans identity.

They’re all ace, right? Bc if they feel they are and they say they are, and also in certain situations medical/therapeutic professionals say they are. Like no one’s arguing they aren’t, that’d be unreasonable.

But if that’s all ONE type of asexuality, then how are ALL of those identities LGBTQ?

I don’t care what happens in the end in terms of inclusivity bc I’m actually personally opposed to ID groups to a certain extent. I feel that a protective community is necessary first and foremost for those who struggle with isolation and violence. I also feel that ultimately you can’t and shouldn’t oppose ppls self expression too much bc they’ll spend all their energy on fighting the opposition and not actually attain the discovery the expression is about.

That being said, my question is this: Are all aces equally ace in the sense that the ace-LGBT community IDs? Are ppl in this community aware of the broader medical/psychological conditions and common transience of the condition? Is that taken into account or ignored? Because unlike being gay, lesbian or trans, being ace is experienced by people in ways that aren’t an ‘identity’ and is felt as more of a condition. And making this normal, too, I think is important and why Ace visibility and normalization is important.

But is there no ground for understanding that there are some fundamental differences here? If all Aces are the same kind of ID Ace, and they are all supposed to be accepted AS LGBT does that extend to people who are ace not-in-conjunction with other sexuality-IDs?

The most compelling argument for ace inclusion in the LGBTQ community is the fact that for many reasons, may LGBTQ ppl ID as, end up, or spend time being Ace. But many people who aren’t LGBTQ and don’t feel particularly related to the group are also Ace? Just not in a way they’ve been trained to champion as an ID issue. This is more common with older adults.

I feel like at the very least it should be understood that if someone is ace-LGBT then that’s cool but I don’t think- and this is because the logic just doesn’t shake out to me, it’s not on principal- that all aces are LGBT or that being Ace is inherently ‘queer’.

I’m really not too thrilled with the fact that in the many years of this discourse I have seen many LGBT people talk about the fundamental issue of having an umbrella meant to protect people who’s EXPRESSION of sexuality and romantic attraction gets them beaten, killed, fired ostracized etc be guilted into accepting people whose ‘queerness’ rests largely with their desire NOT TO express sexuality (or often romantic attraction) and how that makes them uncomfortable.

But I have yet to see someone from the Ace camp be willing to actually level with that discussion. I dont’ care if they agree or disagree my point is that they jump clear over it.

What does it mean to you? Do you understand? Do you really understand that this isn’t about whether or not anyone discriminates against you, but the extent to which they’re discriminated? I just feel like there’s an elephant in the room and no one but a few outspoken gays want to address it.

How is asexuality BY ITSELF- literally specifically the condition of not having sexual desire, not having or wanting to act on a sex drive- is that fundamentally queer all on its own?

If wanting to have sex with anyone other than the opposite sex is queer and not wanting to have sex with anyone is queer then at this point are we saying that being driven to pursue/romance the opposite sex is the one true normal?

If asexuality is the acceptance and normalization of lack of a sex drive (and I’m using cold terms hear for the sake of neutrality but I don’t actually oppose this at all), ad lack of sex drive can be caused by depression or meds, how is Asexuality the same thing as being a Lesbian or being Trans, conditions that cannot be triggered by mood or pharmaceutical interruption?

Is Asexuality-as-identity then, the anomalous feeling of non-sexuality as opposed to non-sexuality that can be said to have an origin cause?

If Asexuality is considered a conjunction with other LGBTQ identities as is often the case, then is the suggestion that non-LGBTQ ppl who are functionally Ace are probably closeted/confused LGBTQ?

If it’s understood that queerness is not solely an issue of who you have sex with or who you are in a romantic relationship with (i.e. it is also an issue of bodily /gender experience and expression), then wouldn’t an ace-LGBTQ’s LGBTQ identity stand on its own? This is hard to put to words but in this case someone who is Ace could/would still be relevant to the group bc they are Trans or Nonbinary or Genderfluid. So are people arguing that for these people, their Aceness should be accepted as ‘queer’ because it’s attached to their gender expression/bodily experience? And in that case, again, what about non-LGBT Aces; Aces who are Ace as secondary to life conditions?

Not saying there are right or wrong answers here but I’m kind of tired of waiting to see someone get around to asking these questions for fear of being attacked or w/e. Clarity and actual discussion- not manipulative appeals and threats of casting someone as an anti or a bigot.

Some things just don’t make sense at this point.

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kae-karo · 6 years

Note

i never get notifs for dnp’s replies unless they’re replying to each other. does this mean they really are a single entity?

dnp are actually a single entity and i can prove it (be warned this is probably the weirdest and most demon post i’ve ever made to date)

let me preface this: among many other things i will not claim to know in this essay, i do not know the exact manner by which they officially became a single entity (but one might argue that it happened on oct 19, 2009 during the filming of a certain video)

enough talk, let’s get to the evidence:

exhibit a: we know dnp have each others’ social media account passwords (from a dan liveshow dont @ me on which one). this is bc it is actually the same password and the two separate accounts are a front. as @laddyplester so kindly brought up, this leads to some strange social media situations

exhibit b: thinking similarly, finishing each others’ sentences, pausing at the right times for the right bants, dan understanding what phil means (he can ‘speak phil’, as he claimed during the liveshow before the tour started) - these are all examples of how they’ve become mentally connected. not that they’re a single mind but that they’re inextricably connected as a single entity

exhibit c: gaming vids. it is immensely rare that we see them anything other than sat and sat right fuckin next to each other (or on top of each other, depending on the vid…) and we joke abt it but it’s bc they are literally attached at the hip. this is the point of attachment that makes them a single entity. also calling this out bc it will be important later: they almost exclusively sit with dan to the right of phil

exhibit d: they have literally never been apart for longer than two weeks since they started living together. and when was the last time they were apart for longer than a few days? this is bc being apart - which they can do, even as a single entity - is v v uncomfy for them both, stretching the tether that connects them

exhibit e: they met. literally that’s it that’s the whole point. somehow, against all these bizarre odds, over hundreds of miles, they met. and there is no realistic explanation for them not only meeting but getting on this well. it’s occam’s razor: you can spin up every twisted interpretation in the book, but the truly simple explanation is that they were drawn to each other all those years ago by some force i won’t even begin to try to comprehend that demanded they become the single entity they are today

exhibit f: another joke but actually a solid piece of evidence: heart eyes howell and love eyes lester. going on a brief detour bc most of us have experienced this at some point: do you remember that feeling when you finally realized some part of your identity? ie sexuality, gender, etc etc? wouldn’t you look at that piece of yourself with the same love and reverence and appreciation if it were a physical entity?

exhibit f.5 (aka a counterpoint): no homo howell existed, we all know that wasn’t the best of times. okay, coming back to this concept of discovering a piece of your identity. for many of us, there were times that we were told to hate this piece of ourselves we discovered. and maybe, for a while, we did. we didn’t want to be whatever we were, because that wasn’t what we were “supposed” to be. ie dan calling he and phil separate and individual (‘we aren’t a double act!’)

exhibit g: the hugs okay this is a big one right bc you might be thinking ‘katie. katie. we see them stood up, we see them walking across stage, we see them hugging ppl at m&gs, they can’t be a single entity!’ and i hear you! but oh. oh my friends. that is what they want us to think

bc i am a scientist at heart, as i said, i willingly admit when there’s something i don’t know: in this case, the exact manner connecting the two bodies we currently think of as ‘dan’ and ‘phil’ (but, as we are discovering, are actually the single entity of ‘dan and phil’ or ‘dnp’ for short)

however. we know from the above that they are most likely connected at the hip, and that they seem most comfortable when ‘dan’ is to the right of ‘phil’. you’ll notice they stand this way at m&gs. this is bc this is how they’re most comfy when they have to stand apart, where their connection is a ‘straight line’ even if it’s stretched

exhibit g.5 (aka a counterpoint): hi yes i get that people stand between them. this only stretches their connection more. why do you think dan is so uncomfy hugging people? why he keeps them away from the lower half of his body and the spot where he’s connected to phil??

now i may not have convinced you. i understand that. skepticism is welcome and appreciated, as this is science after all.

and i know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking ‘katie. they’re literally physically separate. they can’t be a single entity’. my friends. my friends. you are thinking too small. the universe is infinite. the possibilities are infinite. who are we, as mere specks on this ball of dust whirling through oblivion, to say that they aren’t connected in a way we don’t yet understand? in a way that can’t be represented in the physical plane? in a way that defies our simple rules and definitions and observations?

who are we to look at dan and phil and claim that there isn’t something else, something other, that connects them? something so deep and inexplicable and unfathomable that the closest we can come is to consider them a single entity?

or maybe we should just use the words they chose to describe themselves: best friends and soulmates

#dnp #dan and phil #dip and pip #phan #demon theories #they are a single entity #don't ask how long i spent working on this #thanks jen for the idea #that spawned into something crazy #i hope y'all enjoyed #ask #fireball-dreamz #kt #laddyplester #single entity theory

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yaz-the-spaz · 5 years

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I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on the LM side of things. I feel like Perrie went above and beyond, like Gigi, to sell her sham of a relationship with Zayn. Throughout their entire "relationship" she was constantly dragging him through the mud and cracking jokes at his expense to bring publicity to her band. I understand being under contract to do so, but I dont think that would necessarily go as far to call him a freak, especially when he is expected to be your bf...

And I don’t think he liked her much either. They could have been friends connected in a bad scenario but there were times he looked absolutely repulsed by her. Sure, you could argue that it was due to the fact that she was his beard and he didn’t necessarily want to be attached to that kind of bullshit, but I feel it can be just as equally argued that she just wasn’t a decent person (I’m not saying this is definitively the case, simply a possibility)…

…I don’t know much about LM, they’re music isnt really the stuff I listen to, but even if it was, I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable listening to their music knowing it was made on the back of someone else who both her and her group had no issue shitting on after the whole thing was said and done. However I won’t blame anyone who does like their music and still listens to it, it’s your right to do so…

…I just wanted to offer another perspective and I hope you don’t take this as me coming at you or getting annoyed at you or your comments because that is not the case. I’m sorry this is really long, I just feel like it needed to be said. I hope you have a good day.

i actually don’t disagree with you nonnie…i’m not saying perrie is some great person or that she didn’t do or say some very problematic things (both in general and in regards to zayn), obviously she did (and because of that she is my absolute least favorite person in the band), but the way people hold certain things up, like the indian comment that probably wasn’t even from her, among other things, just frustrates me cause one of the main things we preach in this fandom is take a lot of what’s said with a huge grain of salt b/c 90% of it’s either scripted or not their own words and for ppl to suddenly dismiss that or stop applying it just b/c it’s someone they don’t like i don’t think is very fair. personally for me, even when it comes to people i don’t like i think it’s still important to try to be as fair-minded as possible and to still regard them equally and not just dismiss certain edicts that i would normally hold up with other people (like the boys) and suddenly throw that all out the window when it comes to people i don’t like just because i don’t like them.

that said, all of that in no way is meant to disregard the things perrie’s said and done. definitely the calling zayn a freak thing was way too far and it’s not the only shitty thing she’s said or done and the way she reacted to a lot of things was very poor and oftentimes highly problematic. i’m in no way defending her for all of that or saying all of that should be dismissed or forgiven at all (as i said she’s my least favorite person in the band b/c of all that and if i had it my way it’d be a 3 person band lol cause as it is i mostly only recognize and pay attention to the other 3 anyway). but my comments were more so meant to apply specifically to using print statements as ‘proof’ and also to the way people react to lm as a whole. i’m not sure what you’re referring to when you say the entire band shit on zayn, but as i said there is plenty of evidence of them shading the farce that was zerrie just like the boys did and showing clear annoyance at the focus on it and the fact that it was continuously brought up when all they wanted to talk about was the music. they didn’t choose to be marketed that way and i’m sure if they had any choice about it would’ve wanted to do things a hell of a lot differently and, perrie excluded, i don’t think it’s fair to continue to treat the band as a whole like shit or to continue blame the entire band for something they had no say over esp when there are 3 other beautiful talented women who had no part in any of the zerrie bs (one of which has actually done really great things for lgbtq community as a dedicated ally) who don’t deserve the very blatant and flagrant disrespect they get from 1d fans.

like even now i’m thinking of that anon i got earlier who felt that lm didn’t deserve the award they got for video of the year and said that literally anyone would have deserved it more than they did and that’s more so the kind of thing i’m talking when i refer to people remaining bitter over lm all these years and using that as an excuse to be blatantly disrespectful because while i understand being upset over liam not winning and while i very much understand people’s negative feelings re perrie specifically (which i mostly share to some degree), that doesn’t give ppl the right to be so rude or cruel to the other three girls who didn’t do anything to deserve that kind of treatment or disrespect, (again perrie excluded) they worked their asses off and they’re mega-talented and after all the shit they went through with syco and modest and shitty marketing and managing i’m personally proud that they were able to make such an achievement. i recognize not everyone agrees and that ofc not everyone might like them whether that be purely for reasons of musical taste or whatever other reason and that’s totally fine, i’m not saying anyone has to like them, but to hold their previous marketing over their heads like it’s their fault and treat them like shit for it like so many in this fandom continue to do is something i will never be okay with, and i’d just appreciate if ppl could be a bit more respectful at the very least towards the other three girls (ppl can say what they want about perrie lol)

anyway i just want you to know that i wasn’t offended at all by what you said and i appreciate you being willing to have a rational discussion about this without it devolving into anything rude or problematic. and also sorry this got long as well, but i hope you have a nice day too!

#asks #anons #perrie #lm #my thoughts

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kosmicdream · 6 years

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Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that!

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno?

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds.

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

#personal #comic writing #ffak faq

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realmzenith · 6 years

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benke !!!!!!

u truly want me dead but ily so- BUT OK BENKE my meme child

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?.2 seconds i hate him. if he HAD to sit still and he was feeling slightly more chill than usual he could prbly go five minutes. tops. he’s just rlly antsy. he needs to be doing smth w his hands

How easy is it for your character to laugh?EH not super easily but defo more easily than a lot of my other ocs from one to ten one being laughs extremely easily he’s prbly a 4. the key is to find him memes esp political nihilistic memes or fall in front of him bc he’s terrible

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)he doesn’t sleep. e v e r. who do u think he is?? nah jk on a more serious note, he actually doesn’t sleep very easily so usually he just listens to music until he dozes off

How easy is it to earn their trust?gosh that’s. difficult to say. p hard actually?? surprisingly hard for how much of a meme he acts like and how relatively extroverted he is. from one to ten w one meaning it’s very easy to gain his trust i’d say 7

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?he doesn’t rlly attach himself to ppl easily so it’s p easy to get him to not trust u. like he’ll be chill w u but he wont trust u all that much it’s a weird dynamic w him. w one being v easy to get him to distrust and ten very hard, he’s a 5. p much in the middle not rlly too much to one side or another

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules are great until they impede him from getting what he’s aimin for :) on a more serious note, he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt most laws like he doesn’t want to go to jail but at the same time if he’s not going to get caught he’s going to do it bc hey wtf yolo

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?LOL NOSTALGia thats a joke he dislikes sappy things n nostalgia falls into that category but he will on v v rare occasions reminisce. certain musical pieces have that effect on him esp the classical ones as he’s grown up w music (being a practical prodigy on the piano and all). he guesses that sometimes it is kind of nice to remember. just once in a while tho. in a while being the key phrase here

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?I MEAN he’s sixteen he’s still technically a child but basically the most common thing he hears is stop slacking and work harder. being an asian kid getting As is? absolutely crucial he’ll be smacked upside the head by his parents if he doesn’t so they always tell him to stop slacking tf off n actually study for once (tbh it’s fine he’s a genius practically he gets As easier than u can say banana split)

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?absolutely and he doesn’t rlly remember but he thinks it was “shit”

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?once he set out twenty peeps just behind the wheels of his mom’s car and when she backed out the entire wheels got covered in peeps and when she came home saying there was all this weird gooey stuff on her wheels and looked pointedly at him. he just blurted out that it was god exacting judgement on her for her sins. it didn’t end well. he ended up washing the entire car by himself. it still haunts him to this day

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?he’ll literally just say “what the fuck” and laugh

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?whine about it until someone scratches it for him dependent on how comfy he is around the ppl he’s with. if he’s not comfy around the ppl he’s w he’ll just sulk internally or scurry off to the bathroom and like, rub his back (presumptively that’s where he can’t reach) against the edge of the stall until the itch is gone bc he’s high

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?he thinks he looks best in all colors also he doesn’t rlly care abt fashion. he looks best in HM like purple or royal blue??

What animal do they fear most?he has this weird fear of armadillos and no one knows why it has smth to do w an incident at the zoo when he was six

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?he honestly doesn’t say everything that comes to mind even tho it SOUNDS like he does but he also. basically says everything that comes to mind. it’s odd bc he ends up being rlly engaging in conversation anyways. however he isnt immune to being at a loss for words and when he’s under pressure he will stumble a lil thru what he’s saying. but most of the time what u hear is what he’s thinkin

What makes their stomach turn?ok he’s not SUPER big abt justice or anything like that but if someone’s being torn down he’ll get rlly uncomfy unless he’s the one who initiated it bc he’s like hey hey haha guys dont say that abt them. also he dislikes roly polys w a passion bc they remind him of armadillos :)

Are they easily embarrassed?on one hand he has no shame on the other he does get p flustered if ppl flirt w him and it hits a spot (in a good way)? like he does get embarrassed moderately easily but it takes him a few seconds to realize he should be embarrassed if u get me

What embarrasses them?flirting, if u get a well aimed compliment in that he didn’t expect. also realizing he’s made a fool of himself bc that oftentimes happens but he also rarely realizes it so if he REALIZES he’s made a fool of himself he will get flustered

What is their favorite number?420 duh

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?he’d be like wtf why r u asking me this but if someone he does trust and is close to asked him he’d try his best to give a serious answer after a bout of awkward laughing to make sure they were serious. prbly like “familial love and platonic love are the same thing basically right? i guess platonic love is how u love ur friends so yk brofists and shit and then romantic love is more? special? idk it’s fucking great tho *fingers guns at sev*”

Why do they get up in the morning? his mom makes him get up for school otherwise what is leaving his bed when he can just pull his comp onto his lap while STAYING in his bed and game from there

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? oh he’s very possessive. he’ll defo keep whatever he’s worried abt losing close by to start and if it’s a person- friend or s/o- he’s going to be touching them a lot more. a hand on the back, a hug at the side, running his hands through their hair casually. anything to assert that no back off ur not taking them from me. but if it continues, which it v well may, knowing him, he’s going to start getting snarky n verbally fighting the other person. basically Messy pls reassure him if u are the object of his affections and he’s getting side-eye emoji abt someone

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? he defo becomes resentful a bit. like he doesn’t get envious over most things- it’s mostly fear of losing the thing once he has it- but when it does he will get resentful and hole up a bit and generally just seem a little ticked

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?yeah he’s comfy talking abt sex. prbly a little too comfy. so basically anyone willing to engage him in the conversation topic will likely hear abt it but he’s calmed down ever since he got involved w sev

What are their thoughts on marriage?marriage is good? but far off and amorphous in his mind. for the most part he’s like there’s nothing wrong w it but it crosses his mind EXTREMELY infrequently

What is their preferred mode of transportation? preferably in the back of a private plane, squirrel suit gliding or on a giant eagle, none of which he’s ever experienced in his life. but out of the things he has he is fond of sailing when it’s calm out bc he does get seasick a tiny bit. he likes fast cars too

What causes them to feel dread? his mother :) she may be small but she is Frightening

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? he doesnt rlly give a damn so lie most of the time but at the same time if he cares abt the thing and he’s asking u abt it pls do urself a favor and tell him the truth. it’s what he prefers and it’s rare anyways that he actually asks after smth

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? nope. he wants to win a nobel prize, publish a meme compilation book, become a world class pianist, go to pluto- u get the idea. ya boi has many high hopes for himself which he’s not rlly meeting atm. he’s a little all over the place, so despite his many talents he isn’t quite living up to the ideal version of himself he’s seeking after and prbly never will it’ll be very hard to get him to admit this not bc he’s an edgelord or smth but it’s hard to get him to talk abt deeper things but he does sincerely want to be a good moral person which dependent on the day and his level of seriousness he may or may not be living up to in his own eyes as well as in the eyes of others. what can i say he’s kind of a hoe

Who do they most regret meeting? life…. when life’s hand touched upon his little heart and gave him the gift of herself he immediately was filled w Ragret- on a more serious note it’s prbly the armadillo from the zoo

Who are they the most glad to have met? sev? he also adores his piano teacher but good luck getting him to admit that w heartfelt sincerity

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? it’s honestly whatever’s the most recent thing he observed, heard or experienced when it comes to stories. he has no shortage of words to say and his fav sort of memes and jokes are politically nihilistic ones. so those are? in a way his go to?

Could they be considered lazy? yes. he only applies himself if he’s interested and for most of school he has no qualms abt being a lil sus and casually “accidentally” getting the answers to things so yeah that’s. that could be considered lazy. however, when he does care abt smth he will absolutely dedicate himself to it. he practices piano consistently and diligently day in and day out so it honestly depends on if he cares or not

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? v difficult. he rarely becomes guilty for longer than .4 seconds but when it does he’s srsly going to internalize that bc if he’s feeling guilty he prbly f-ed up real bad. he also won’t rlly talk abt it to anyone so it’s even more likely it’ll just get internalized

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s extremely dependent on who it is and what it is. if it’s sev he’ll b v supportive but sev is a VERY big exception in most cases also sev rarely gets visibly excited abt things so it’s usually a cause for celebration when he does. if josie (his bff) is excited abt smth? if he can relate he’ll be excited for her but if he can’t he’ll TRY his best but there will be some teasing involved bc that’s how he diffuses confusion. their other bff will get the same treatment but w slightly more effort bc she’s more sensitive but gosh if it’s someone he doesn’t know rlly well he’ll be rlly confused he’ll be like good for u ha?? or someone he knows casually. they’ll get teased so he tries but he also sucks at life. for such a great analyst he’s terrible at being socially delicate

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? tbh prbly actively seek it. he defo pursued sev before they got together

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? he doesn’t rlly give a damn abt ppl’s names but if it’s say a piano piece it’s honestly just cold, hard repetition

What memory do they revisit the most often? he doesn’t reminisce often hes a p go go go type of guy but if he does it’s prbly abt sev. neither of them voice it often but they’re both rlly grateful for the other

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? see, he’s kind of oblivious he doesn’t rlly think abt these things but when something annoys him? oh it annoys him and he’s going to make no effort to hide it or ignore it. so he’s honestly rlly bad at ignoring other ppl’s flaws. he’s a bit of a b like that

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?very

How do they feel about children? no particular opinion! he’s the younger sib by quite a bit so he’s always been kind of the baby. he thinks kids are fine and he’s actually p good w them but he’d prefer to not babysit or anything like that. there are better more enjoyable things he could be doing w his time. as for having kids he almost never thinks abt that so he’s got no opinion there either. what happens happens after all

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? he doesn’t particularly have One End Goal but he has many aspirations and if he cares abt smth he will do everything in his power to reach it at least within reason. so p badly relatively speaking?

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? he’s bi so if someone asked him to explain it he’d be like “it means idc what someone’s gender is when it comes to whether i want to fuck or not ;)” yes i hate him too

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?MEME KING but also i’m excited to try and work out the balance between apathy, drive and subtle but very much present care for the ppl around himB) What inspired you to create them?i need a best friend for the main chara of the story benke is a part of! additionally, he shares a lot of character traits w an irl friend of mine so it’s a bit of a nod to themC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope! benke was created for the purpose of filling a role tho honestly he’s spun a wild story for himself somehow looking @ u sevD) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?i must admit benke does NOT have a set appearance as of the present. he’s afab nb and does nothing to present as more masculine than he naturally appears. he’s indian, 5′4″ and he’s got short hair w highlights but beyond that i’m still working out his appearance E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?yes on a surface level to both. we’d meme together but at a deeper level we wouldn’t make good close friends. benke’s brand of caring for ppl is nearly opposite to mine and bc we’re already both unconventional in how we show we care abt someone we’d prbly both end up feeling neglected. there’d be a lot of miscommunication and honestly, ya boi would get on my nerves n i’d prbly get on hisF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?TIRED he TIRES me but also a bit of pride bc he’s growinG) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?where do i begin. prbly how he’s unintentionally self centered. benke is far from uncaring abt his friends he will do crazy stupid brave things for them if it ever came to that but it’s hard for him to see why some of the things he says hurt other ppl’s feelings esp if they’re diff from him. he’ll be like ?? why u offended i didn’t say anything mean. he’s also RLLY bad at handling serious emotions even when they sometimes do need to be dealth wH) What trait do you admire most?HM prbly his knack for being a great conversationalist. ppl like him even if he isn’t the most popular bc he’s funny and p chill. he doesn’t have too much drama so it’s like hey there’s the meme guy even tho he’s kinda weird and tbh goals. being a good conversationalist can get u places and ease up SO many social situationsI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?PRBLY but also i think he’d do rlly well in a sci fi universe eyes emojiJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?nah not rlly?? not yet at least !

#defenestrata #i decided it was smarter to do the read more up there like u alskjflj #benke #my ocs #triad #benke.... is. Smth indeed

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