#i just wish i had more friends tbh

[ride-a-dromedary]

Thinking about Thaniel and Halsin reuniting again when he wakes.

Thinking about how Halsin describes Thaniel as having been ripped away from him (just as he was from Oliver). How he was the only one able to see and interact with him; how Halsin is very insistent that Thaniel made him who he became. How Halsin's "very first friend" being an encapsulation of nature itself affected the entire trajectory of his life. How that implies, to me, that Halsin and Thaniel were connected on a level far stronger and more significant than just being unlikely playmates as children - even moreso than just Halsin deciding to become his protector as he aged, or the implication of the relationship becoming more along the lines of a parent and child - to the point of being so interconnected and intertwined, Thaniel evidently uprooted and followed Halsin from the High Forest to its own unpredicted detriment.

Thaniel's being cursed and trapped quite literally *did* rip the two of them away from one another, just as tearing Thaniel's being in two twisted and created Oliver. Halsin feels a hole in his absence - a loneliness and disconnect that eats away at him. He describes losing contact with Thaniel all that time ago as being "worst of all", which is saying a lot considering what else was happening to and around Halsin at the time. And all Thaniel talked about whilst trapped was Halsin, insisting to find him because he was the only one who an entire force of nature itself believed could help it.

Losing Thaniel sent Halsin into a century long spiral; Halsin who blames himself for "dawdling" in his own pain as it suffered. Who could almost place himself in the catalyst of Ketheric Thorm's tragedy of losing his daughter pushing him to the edge. It's the elevated metaphorical adult fear of losing a child and the indescribable sorrow involved in that, mixed with the loss of an important childhood and formative influence, mixed with losing a friend, a piece of oneself, all in one.

I just imagine Halsin twitching in his skin to head immediately back to camp after convincing Oliver to return. Distractedly following behind, but evidently elsewhere, until he is dismissed or the group returns. And he is first to arrive and first to break off to his tent, pulling aside the cloth, lacking any considerable delicacy of action, to see Thaniel sitting up, blinking slowly at his surroundings. Alive; the smell of lavender heavy and sweet. Not dead and rotting, not twisted and empty. Small. Frail. Not quite whole. But alive.

And Halsin...hesitates on the threshold, hands shaking, everything having come to its head at last and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He holds his breath, fearful of any disturbance spooking the life away that they'd worked so hard to revive, until Thaniel turns its eye slowly towards him. Two deer caught in a crosspath of light. A century past and there are hundreds of things to do, hundreds of things he had planned to say to him if they succeeded, but all Halsin can manage is a strained: "It's me."

And he does not need to say who he is; Thaniel knows. All those rehearsed things fizzle away in its face. Halsin is older now, he reasons, much older; perhaps Thaniel will not recognize the century carved upon his brow just as Oliver had not. In a moment of desperation, he needs it to know him. Needs Thaniel to remember - but, fool that he is to underestimate the power of life before him, of course he remembers. Of course Thaniel would recognize him, just as he had recognized him after the long winter had passed - when he had changed so much, and was no longer a little elfling and never would be again. Just as Thaniel had recognized him every springtime after, the thawing of ice bringing another year with it, even as its face did not change at all. It must; his eyes betrayed the centuries beneath his boots, even as the child rubbed fitfully at them.

"It's me," Halsin murmurs again, falling to his knees - as if he could make himself impossibly smaller - bring him back to the beginning, turn back the years before it all went wrong. And Thaniel just nods its head and touches little hands to his face, and when he echos his name, it feels like that first thaw of spring again.

"I heard you calling," it whispers, gentle like summer breezes. "You cried for me to stop hiding. You were frightened and did not wish to play anymore. But when I came out, it had gotten dark. I could not find you."

"I know."

"I called back," he continues, even and intoned, but his lip wobbles. "You could not hear me.

"I know," Halsin repeats, brokenly.

Thaniel blinks a few more times, seemingly working out how to reteach a face long asleep, though there were no muscles to move. A false start later, a twitch of the nose, and he is...smiling. "But I kept trying - I knew you would find me."

A single stick too heavy and the dam breaks. Eyes filled with tears, he hugs Thaniel to him like he hadn't since they were children chasing each other through the underbrush with glitters of gold tangled in his hair. Since Thaniel had guided his hand to make the flowers in his father's garden grow. Since all they'd had was each other under the endless canopy of trees.

"Forgive me," Halsin whispers, a century of pain and loss and loneliness exiting from him in a single rush, the cold empty spaces inside him filling up with warmth. And at last he wakes, dragged violently into the open air after drowning for too long, blinded but alive and whole once again. Interconnected; not alone anymore. The earth sings beneath him and Oliver's spirit hovers just beyond the outskirts of his vision. Halsin chokes on his laugh. "I was never very good at this game."

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #anyway...yeah - again half purple prose half nonsense #halsin's most valuable relationship in his life is pseudo-spiritually platonic and that means a *lot* #of course he wants to go back to his realm in the end - of course he wants to see him happy and thriving #because i feel like platonic relationships are just so wholly undervalued as being important and healing to people #i am also thinking about halsin telling oliver that he need not invent friends - halsin was likely told as a child #that thaniel was made up i feel it - treated perhaps at best as an entertainment of their son's imagination in his parents' case #because no one else had heard of him or seen him before #even in a land of magic and monsters #halsin providing oliver with the validation he wishes he had as a child #using the 'you needn't invent friends' as a reverse - thaniel is back and real and waiting for your return #see my previous post regarding this for musing about thaniel and oliver being kara-turan-esque nature spirits because tbh #they more align with that - how'd you get here thaniel #using it/he for thaniel feels right in my mind

[barghest-land]

today i wish my government a very pleasant disappearance from the face of the earth

#not only today honestly #every day. but TODAY especially #and it's a friendly reminder to check on ur queer friends if they're in r*ssia #i don't even have any energy to write anything about it tbh i wish i had the energy to fight but i just wanna go extinct rn im sorry #i wish i was strong like others. i have a lot to lose now #and i know other people do too. i'm sorry that i'm so scared #i shouldn't be but unfortunately i am. more than ever #again. check on ur friends. it might save someone's life literally

[thyandrawrites]

It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,

and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-

#Blue lock #Blue lock spoilers #Mikage reo #Nagi seishirou #Bllk thoughts #This chapter was sooooo good #Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place #They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast #I wish every month could be like this #This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are #Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake #Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections #Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend #And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself #Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me #Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight... #And he calls Nagi's room void #Gosh they're both so fascinating #Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely #I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill #I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place #At least nagi owns mangas come on

[8bit-mau5]

Update

Hey guys I didnt mean to disappear the way I did this month, but especially in the more recent weeks. I've been in an UNBEARABLE amount of pain with migraines almost every day for over a week and I may very well have a sinus infection (': Like I WAS diagnosed with chronic sinusitis last year iirc but this is unbearable. My throat hurts, my teeth hurt, my face hurts, I can't breathe out my nose. I feel miserable tbh.

Another reason for absence and being so slow on work is because I came really close to calling the cops on my mother in the middle of a fight not too long ago. I'm certain it would've gotten physical if Popo hadn't walked through the front door when he did. Thankfully things DIDN'T get physical, but I'm still very shaken up about it. I'm in no danger, but I'm getting around to making an official post for my [GoFundMe] that's been successfully published now. That was the last straw I just cannot handle how my cats and I are treated. It's seriously affected my workflow for far too long.

Anyway I could really use some positivity and distraction. I missed this place and I missed you guys, home life has just been.. a lot. And I'm exhausted.

#abuse #abuse tw #animal abuse #animal abuse tw #i think thats everything? #okay to reblog #since it has my GFM link? #i had to call my shitty hardly-present in my life father to calm me down but like. the way he talks to me aint great either #the treatment ive gotten from mom has gotten exponentially worse since my sister moved out just like we all expected tbh #ive NEEDED to move out for ages but now i have like. a plan #i just need to make the money for it now #honestly id be happy to even reach 7k. the deadline is just in a few months so.. i'll be keeping it up for rent and move costs. but id like #to raise a bit to properly PAY popo for driving me up there and back. so $ for gas. food. hotel stays. etc. and paying for a rental truck #8bit beeps #god i wish i just had a friend i could move in with RIGHT NOW just to weather out the storm and work on raising more money #to go to chicago w/my boyfriend

[cheekblush]

i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected

#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn #at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life #things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no.. #.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well #and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with #their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol #she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing #i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner #but her messages were truly annoying me #her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to.. #talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning #our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao #she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me #and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭 #idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3 #i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful #i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on #and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡 #even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial #am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please #she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol #but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed.. #me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!! #but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼‍♀️ #like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao #okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me #☁️

[pixlokita]

I wish I could afford adhd medication, to be able to study yeah but also so I can sit down one day and actually be able to read the fics I haven’t been able to catch up on.

#pix habla #adhd #it’s like ? it got so bad now I can’t even read fics and I thought it couldn’t get worse than that #but now also cómics #hell… I can’t sit still and watch a movie or a show unless I’m doing something else and not even paying attention to it #i could cry tbh #this is hell on earth for me #and i think it’s affecting my art too #Im glad I can find inspiration from my friends but I want ? to also have more ? #even music is hard to pay attention to sometimes and it makes me feel hmm overwhelmed? like it’s just noise #dude #well anywya it’s been kind of #a bad day #i wish I also had a job too #maybe it would help #not only financially but #just help me work on my focus too

[hightaled]

wait hello?

#im watching this only now cus of this guy who i just realized THREE of my friends have/had a crush on #anyway its SOOOO GOOD BRUH #its so pretty and artistic and all these religious motifs #THE SHOT WITH VI UNDER THE BLOODY WINDOW LIGHT.. #im obsessed with how human everyone looks #like jace's big ass chin. altho i was wishing his mom looked more like him. but also like the white hair streak says sm #jinx's movement is sooooooooo good its so unique and u literally understand her like i get her #also the voice acting augh.. all the crying scenes are so good #powder just as little girl. i feel her tbh. im so.. #i love the plot so bad im going crasyy #but im forreal so obsessed with the character designs its so good its sooo. its so.. like idk their personality shows so much idk.. #like the goggles? augh #fuck its so good. the themes. #rex.txt #arcane #<- i intend to talk abt this more.. #wait no sorry jace's chin isnt big its just so normal like its so perfect. but his mom's chin does look short in comparison

[hershey-the-person]

i have two moods :😔 crippling depression and anxiety making it hard to stay alive 😔

and ✨️pop icon in the bathroom✨️

#honestly i think im funny when i want to be with the people i want it to be #and honestly not many people get to see that side cuz it just takes away from this mysterious and quiet persona i have #but once i let u in baby the jokes never stopping #well they stop when im having an existential crisis but lets not count thay #actually i make jokes even when i feel like dying lmao #so um yeah #i wish i had friends whom i could make jokes with #but the problem is people dont understand my humor cuz they dont about the topic im talking about #but like here on tumblr say if i make jokes about some character people do get it #my fandoms dont match with otherss irl #actually most of my irl friends are not into any actual fandoms 💀 #given i dont have many irl #people whom i actually talk to ? not more than 2-3 id say #i do have more friends but like i dont TALK talk with them iykwim #and tbh i dont really need too many friends im fine with what i have cuz thats amazing #more people u let in = higher chance of becoming toxic + more heartbreak + more energy drainage + start losing urself to please others + #more back bitching + bejng asked to give more explanation when u have ur kms times and u disappear for a while #and when u dont explain they get mad or u get tired and just cut them off #lmao im rambling all my problems in just one post oops

[blizzardfluffykpop]

You sent me an ask so I shall return the favor! What is the most recent Kpop group you’ve gotten into and how did you find out about them? I always love hearing fan “origin stories” lol

Thank you for returning the favor~ That would be The Boyz 🥰💖 I love hearing fan "origin stories" too hehe (This is gonna get long I love them sm)

Anyways I've known about them since debut? I loved Bloom Bloom Pow with my whole heart when it came out and tried to fall for them then- It didn't work. The next time was when The Stealer (TS) came out~ I had watched them perform for Road to Kingdom- because ptg was on the show too- But I really loved TS cb- sm so that I bought the album about 6 mos later with my favorite members as inclusions at the time (Eric, Kevin and Hyunjae). But nothing came about of it even after watching the weekly idol episodes... Then came Whisper era and I ended up biasing Changmin (Q) and loving that song but again nothing came out of it.

(A little backstory is that Changkyun (I.M) got me into Dominic Fike's music-) Thus, when tiktok showed me Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo dancing to Babydoll earlier this year as a dance cover: I fell. And then I finally checked out Watch It~ But Hui had his solo and it distracted me completely from falling further. Then I had gotten sick and decided 'well, what if I watch their content?' And I did... I watched their hello82 interview and their reaction to fanart of them, and lastly their mafia dance. And I loved each sm that I decided to check out more.

It was the first time I had watched their content and wanted to see more. And now, I watch their content almost daily. It's kind of like they revived the joy of kpop for me? My (old) ult of ults has been on hiatus due to the military so it's been stagnant content lately for me. But then they came in like a breath of fresh air- and I simply can't get enough. This month will be 3 mos and I honestly hope I'll follow them for a long time. (I think they're my new ult of ults tbh)

And lastly now here I am as a Younghoon and Juyeon bias (with bias wrecker: Changmin... he's doing everything to be bias again). And with them having a comeback I loved with my whole heart this past month, I think it really solidified them with me. Honestly, I'm so happy with them.

#my 'fan origin story' hehe #lovely mutuals #asks #kate rambles from here #i even started a new kpop journal just dedicated to them and my thoughts- it's a 200 page journal and i have nearly 50 pages about them #and i started it in february ebhbha- #it's so funny because i saw one of my ults' concerts in theater the month before they should have became the ult of ults and here tbz comes #if the theory is true that you fall in love with certain people/groups/things at certain time then that means even when #i wanted to fall in love with them- that i had to wait until now to fall for them even if i wanted to fast forward it- i think now is a #perfect time- it's when i need them most i think- and fuck i could go on about them forever and why they mean sm to me in such little #time but oh how i love these guys- #no seriously everything i wish they could do- i find out they've done or will do- or for like pcs i like them a certain way and by golly #does yh do my favorite poses- and their music is just ?!?! i love it sm- ofc i've listened to them before a lot but ?? it's my speed rn #kate rambles #did i drag my close friend into them too? yes- yes I did- but she had full free will- she could have stayed on the happy mbb boat instead #of jumping into the water and swimming to lip gloss island with me- but alas she didn't so it's even more fun cause i get to be a new #deobi with her- and it's literally the best experiance i could have ever asked for- she prolly won't see these (i'm banking on it) and #honestly i'm so thankful for her- for joining me in this 'insanity' we've gotten ourselves into- i'm glad we were both stolen from our mbb #home together- it's sm fun to talk about tbz with her- because she's experiencing them new just like i am- i could go on here too #but i won't- so i'll stop here- i love these boyz sm tbh (every time i say it even if it's a lot- it doesn't feel enough)

[incorrectdeceptionquotes]

holy sh¡t a Deception fan in the year of our lord 2023?? how does it feel being in a fandom with 4 people in it bestie

Do not cite the deep magic to me, child... I was there when it was written!

#jokes aside #I remember when the fandom had a somewhat active 200+ fans that made fan content for the show #I was 18 when I started this blog #I'm 23 now and... wow #I made jokes about how it'll be five years and I won't be over this show... apparently I was not wrong lol #though now it's more of a fond nostalgia #I have fics I never finished #though I kinda wanna make little summary posts to just explain how those fics would've ended #in the summer of 2018 I wrote SO MUCH fanfic content because I didn't take summer courses my first year #tbh sometimes I wish I never even heard of the show but then I think of the good things it brought me #like the cool online friends I found #to discovering that I love to write and pulling me out of my first year depression #wow this got kinda sentimental #point is... #I am still kinda a fan #I make incorrect quotes now and then when I find something I think would work #I would love to see some sort of closure to the story #and tbh I still get excited by new fics #especially the Kaymeron ones #but I would love to talk more about it #if people were interested #deception

[hexados-on-a-string]

y'all got outlived by the queer coded villain who was actually presumed dead for a few weeks?? skill issue tbh

#gus grav #bakugan new vestroia #dont look at this too hard i made it in half an hour before i had breakfast #someone's probably already done this but i wanted to do it anyway #gus surviving is a mystery for the ages but i am NOT complaining hes my favourite #local man too gay to succumb to the bury the gays trope more at 11 #i also plan to be too gay to die #i can make serious art. i just think im funny and make shitposts instead. #my art baybeee #this is a masterpiece actually so its going in my art tag #so funny how they HAD to kill off gus so that spectra would hit rock bottom and join The Good Guys™ #and then 11 episodes later they were like okay they're good now. lets give spectra their boy best friend back. as a treat. #i wish gus had actual interactions with the brawlers as a quote unquote good guy that would be funny af #they dropped the ball on that in ms tbh #OKAY IM DONE RAMBLING I JUST. I HAVE THOUGHTS. IN MY BRAIN. OKAY BYEEEEEE

[blitz0hno]

*tries to talk about Amane and the significance of her trauma* Aaaaaand English language is a fuck all of a sudden

#she's so important to me man #kotoko guilty bc how does she also not see that kid as another Lucky #HOW she was so so so used and abused and mistreated #godddd why did she go thru all that it's like an “if you know you know” thing but #I SHOULD BE LETTING PPL KNOW #i've never regretted a vote harder than my first take on Amane but that was before i Knew #tbh i think magic deliberately frames her as someone who willfully hurt someone innocent bc that's how she felt #she felt that it was her fault her friend and her cat got hurt #and when purge march showed us that her “victim” was no victim at all... #bro i think we actually had a breakdown #i feel so much about this project but not in an unhealthy way you know? #well as healthy as possible #it's helping us process a lot of things i just wish we could speak on it more coherently

[no-one-hears-me]

really thinking about how my only options are to continue starving and stay skinny or eat but gain weight. I can never be normal

#ed tw #today I saw a video of someone showing what her friend eats #and it was a whole pizza and then pasta and whatever #how are some people capable of doing that #realistically some of it is my fault bc I've slowed my metabolism by restricting too hard #and the only way to fix it is to eat more BUT that will cause weight gain #and yeah I can lose it but I'd rather not gain any in the first place #also I'm genuinely not able to eat that much anymore #today I ate a fairly small amount of food and my stomach starting getting uncomfortable halfway through #even though that was the only thing I had in awhile. idk #I'm kinda proud that I can't eat anymore but that's kinda cringe idk #anyways. I really just wish I could eat normal amounts of food but still have a really low weight #I don't want a healthy weight tbh so yeah it makes sense that I can't eat healthy portions #still sucks tho #ALSO it sucks that alcohol has calories but tbf I don't need to drink much if I haven't eaten anyways #and my tolerance has never been high actually bc I don't drink that much #Sera

[mashedpotatosinacup]

Idk if I’m a boy or a girl anymore

#vent #vent in tags #or neither tbh #idk who I want to be #it’s just easier to detransition rn and then try again later in life when I think more #but also detransitioning publicly will raise my anxiety so much I’ll be in bed for weeks #everything hurts #I’m tired and I wanna draw #oh my GOD idk who I am #maybe I don’t belong here #i wish i didn’t exist #ignore all this just late night thoughts #whatever #I’m so scared #i wish i was normal #I want so much attention but the second i get it negative i wanna never leave my room again #but my room isnt safe either #no where is safe I wish I had more friends they distract me #I feel so selfish

[pantestudines]

Anyone else have beef with random historical figures for no good reason. Had to make a presentation about Augustine of Hippo once for a shitty college class but I hated the book we were learning from (see tags) so I associated the two together and now everytime I see his name I furrow my eyebrows and say "Augustine..." like he's my nemesis

#see tags: i hated the book because it wasnt actually a history it was like. a motivational book? but by an author that clearly assumed #that the reader would both 1) be christian and 2) trying to stand out and be an exceptional leader individual #i and my friends were neither of these things tbh and we drew the line at when the author started talking about 'pagans' as a single group #and like. im talking about like. the author seemed to think all pagans were fantasy druids? and was UNCITED just talking about like #'pagans had no sense of time as a progression and only thought of time as cyclical' was the main thesis. which. what??? #it didn't matter what kind of pagan either as long as it fit the authors intention. im talking greek. celtic. native american. and more! #sometimes the author didnt even specify! he just would start talking about pagans like they all were homogenous and shared all beliefs #and because i had to present on THIS GUYS conception of Augustine i kindve just associate that author with augustine now lmao #sorrrrry augustine i know it wasnt you who did this but tbh what little i know about you you probably would've agreed #BY THE WAY #a happy ending! we talked to our professor about our issues with the book and he took it off the list for upcoming years #i wish i could remember the title but oh well #it was literally called like 'expreasing individuality' or some shit #leadership major future politician CEO nothingburger ass book #the whole class was also structured around that nonsense leadership and entrepenuer and ceo grindset type shit #(i took this class cause it was required for a good scholarship i had lmao) #... now that im thinking about it #this was also the class i attended while on the afterglow of LSD. #so uh. yeah. lmao

[polaroidcats]

not me googling how much it would cost to play the harp :(

#someone please give me 3000€ to spend on a harp #and that's a CHEAP HARP #whyyyyyy #i even looked into renting harps #and tbh if i ever act on this LIFELONG DREAM OF MINE #to one day play the harp #i would realistically rent one #and only buy one after i'm sure i'll stick to it and if i ever have the money #and i will never ever have the money to buy a concert harp which is FINE #like those beautiful concert harps cost 25.000€ or more #and if the cheapest one i could find cost 25.000 that means the good ones that sound nice probably cost way more #anyways the irish/celtic harps 'only' cost 3000 euros or so #SUCH A BARGAIN #lol #okay i'm done ranting about harps i just really really wish i had a friend who plays the harp who lets me sometimes pluck at the strings #that would already be enough #i really need to just befriend someone who plays the harp #for totally selfish reasons