#i just wish i could like. FEEL feel y'know. everything is just at most miserable or at normal. just. real bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

madamedevien · 3 years

Text

Infernal Heat

Hey! It’s been a while - I really miss you guys. Anyway, I know that a lot of you were keeping up to date with my Mammon x GN! Reader fic...while I’m updating it regularly on my AO3, I thought that I’d post the chapters that I’ve got here as well. I’m planning for it to be a 4 chapter fic, but let’s see how that goes! Warnings in tags (both here and AO3) - monster fucking comes into play much more come Chapter 3 and 4. The biggest thanks to @mawwart for their inspiration and @popcherrypop for reading over what I had all those months ago and actually helping me find direction. I’ve got a bigger/cheesier spiel on AO3, but anyway. Fingers crossed that the ‘Keep Reading’ line shows up here...

Chapter 1: Embers

The Great Mammon had woken up in a mood. He'd felt this creeping up for days now and he wished that it would just come and go already. It was hella distracting to have a constant tug of warmth and want in your gut, y'know? And it was annoying to feel the incessant need to primp and to add to the nest of pillows, blankets, sentimental and decorative items that now overtook most of his bed. But he was due a heat cycle. Annoyingly, he felt that it was probably going to settle in properly on that particular day and he'd been wrangled into going shopping by you. And for whatever reason he'd agreed. Not because he had a crush on you or anything. Damn, he couldn't even remember what you two were meant to be shopping for, that's how addled his mind was. Mammon really just wanted to stay put and perfect his nest. Maybe show it off to you. Although he wasn't sure if you'd appreciate the fact that he'd stolen a few items of yours while on laundry duty to tuck into said nest. Or that he wanted to maybe do something kind of nasty to a piece of your clothing. If not you.

But would you want to? To see his nest? To lay in it, lay with him, to mate with him? He wanted you to. So very, very badly. He didn’t feel like he deserved you but, oh, to say that he wanted you was a vast understatement. Fuck.

He groaned and threw one of his tanned arms over his eyes. The silveret realised that he was going to have to partially dislodge his beautiful nest to pull out Goldie (he couldn't go shopping without her - the very thought was offensive!) and that he was going to have to get rid of his raging boner before he faced you.

So into a cold shower he trudged, loudly cursing the whole time.

---

Longest shopping trip in fucking history.

It seemed like you were in need of freakin' everything imaginable. He wasn't to know that you were actually just taking your time because it'd been a while since the two of you had some time to yourselves. The demon had been acting strangely around you the past few days, although he was completely oblivious to just how weird it’d been for you.

And today, the Avatar of Greed just wasn't engaging. Questions went unanswered, as if he hadn't heard even when clearly looking at you, no boasting or sulking occurred, no bets or harebrained schemes hatched...he didn't even take you up on your offer of Hell Sauce Noodles! The demon was completely disinterested in all of this - the only thing he was interested in was you. He was also trying very very hard not to let his thoughts slip into anything inappropriate. Which was probably the single most difficult thing he’d had to do in all of his many years. Mammon wanted to take your hand and lace your fingers together; to shamelessly nuzzle your cheek in front of everyone on Silent Avenue. The thought made his heart swell. Better yet, if you were mated, he could kiss you in front of the whole crowd before publicly mounting you and-

Damn, it was hard to keep lewd thoughts at bay. He could feel his cheeks burning and looked away when your concerned expression turned to him.

On the trek home (finally!), he fell into a lazy pace behind you and Mammon couldn’t help it as you walked together. His cerulean gaze raked over the beautiful curve in your neck - the space was perfect. In his mind, he could see how perfectly his head would fit and how the mark he could leave there would only accentuate the beauty of your skin. It’d be a gorgeous brand that would loudly proclaim to all, ‘I am mated to THE Great Mammon, the Avatar of Greed and Second of the Seven; don’t you dare even think to touch me’. The very notion only caused the flush of heat over his skin to worsen and his breath to hitch; he wanted to tear into his flesh to relieve himself of the insufferable and fiery itch.

The same thoughts washed over his brain again and again like some cruel tide, even once you'd passed through the doors of the House of Lamentation.

It took only a scant moment. He didn’t even think. The silver haired demon was aware that he was losing his mind due to his damned biology, but he didn’t realise that he was so far gone that he would do something so stupid. It was only your screech that alerted him to the fact that he had pulled you tight to his chest, that he was actually in the process of sinking sharp fangs into your supple skin. The sudden realisation made him tear off of you in surprise.

Beel had been the first to burst through a doorway and into the corridor. The redhead stopped dead in his tracks and stared wide-eyed at the two of you; you with your hand clamped over the section of your neck that had been bitten, and Mammon an arm’s length away from with a look of abject horror painted over his handsome features. Stupid Mammon, indeed. The next to burst in was Lucifer, who looked ready for a proper melee. The sound that had come from you had genuinely startled the older brother, not that he’d admit that if asked. As his garnet gaze took in the scene before him, his mouth twisted unpleasantly. “Mammon…” Lucifer’s voice was dangerously low. Mammon shook his head urgently in response, “Nonono, Luci, it didn’t - I mean, yeah, it is what it looks like an’ I didn’t mean ta, but it...it’s not deep enough. Y’know?” The second brother sounded desperate. Mammon anxiously twisted his rings around his tanned fingers and had to fight back the tears that threatened the edges of his vision. He could have hurt you. “Oh, I think you’ll find that it’s more than deep enough.” Lucifer stalked toward you and put his hand on top of the one you were using to cover your wound. “Let me see how much damage the fool inflicted on you”. Mammon could see the frown that pulled at your mouth as you revealed the bite mark to his brother. No proper damage - the indents might linger, but no blood had been drawn; no skin had been broken.

“It was more from the surprise than pain, Lucifer. I just wasn’t expecting someone to bite me, you know? That’s the kind of thing that I’d expect more from a very hungry Beel.” Your attempt to lighten the mood only made the Avatar of Pride’s expression sour further - but Beel muttered a small, “Fair”. Lucifer sounded positively glacial when he spoke again. “Beelzebub, please take our brother to his room." The Avatar of Gluttony nodded solemnly, gently taking the second eldest’s shoulder. Mammon stared miserably at the floor, guilt clearly written on his flushed face although he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He didn’t trust himself to. Not after such a stupid stunt. As the other two made their way up the stairs, Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose.

This wouldn’t be pleasant.

It was no surprise to Mammon that Lucifer texted him shortly after the whole ordeal. He was just thankful that Lucifer hadn’t decided to come up to his room and literally tear into him after biting you. Of all the people to bite in the entire Devildom, it just had to be you didn’t it? Lucifer: Mammon. I have strictly instructed the household that you are not to be disturbed until I have given the all clear. You will stay in your room and I will bring you provisions at regular intervals. If you need anything, you will let me know. Are we clear? Mammon: Yes. Lucifer: Good. He waited, hopeful that Lucifer would provide an update on you. After an eon of waiting (which was actually all of seven minutes) he decided to ask. Mammon: Are they okay?

Lucifer: They are. And they will continue to be so long as you stay in your room and do not venture out. Ensure that you lock your door and remember to take your pheromone blockers as well or the whole house will reek of your mating scent. What were brothers for, if not a good motivational speech? --- Chapter 2: Flames Even with Lucifer’s reminder, Mammon had forgotten to take the pheromone blockers and to lock the door. He’d been far too distracted; worrying about your state of health, whether he’d damaged your relationship beyond repair, still trying to keep the lewd thoughts at bay, his instincts fretting over the piece of nest that had been dismantled earlier… It was a lot to be preoccupied with, okay? Without the pheromone blockers, the corridor outside of Mammon’s room was thick with the sweet perfume of a demonic male in heat. It was rich and cloying, the kind of scent that would cling to one’s clothes much to the annoyance of the other residents (Asmodeus excluded). Mammon, however, didn’t care. He was too busy now attempting to cool the heat in the pit of his stomach and to regain some clarity of mind. An attempt at sleep had been made once his nest had been repaired and Goldie tucked into her rightful place, the lights turned down low and his clothes discarded to some far corner so that he could crawl into the nest in a comfortable state...but how could he sleep when obscene images of you kept popping into his head? At first, he had tried to keep some semblance of his mind. The demon didn’t like to lose control during his heats. If he could keep his mind, he would keep to his more humanoid forms - and that was what he wanted. Because if you did, by chance, happen upon him...well. He didn’t want to scare you. Before he allowed himself to spiral into the anxiety of your imagined reaction, he reached for his ridiculously large bottle of lube. If he was going to dwell on the thought of anything, it was going to be how good he knew you’d feel… --- Mammon wouldn’t have been able to say how much time had passed. He had brought himself to orgasm more times than he could count - but it only seemed to just take off the edge. A demon’s heat was never an easy thing, but why was this time around so damn difficult? Satan would have been able to answer that with ease, the smug bastard; if a demon chooses a mate they will, naturally, be most inclined to couple with said mate for optimal breeding. To not couple with a chosen mate could make a heat worse - but to withhold coupling at all? Well, it would be a foolish endeavour. The Avatar of Greed hadn’t realised just how he was slipping ; wings and horns had appeared without him even registering and his fangs had dropped to a predatory length (which he only noticed when he had apparently attempted to put a mating mark on a pillow covered in one of your stolen shirts that he’d been desperately rutting against, much to his embarrassment). His breathing was rough. Mammon was equal parts exhausted and invigorated. He wanted nothing more than to let his knees fall out from under him so that sleep would hopefully take him - he wanted to stalk down the hall and into your room and fuck you senseless. And if Lucifer found out? Well, Mammon would love to see him try to pry you from his arms. The very thought made him snarl, his grip on his cock tightening. It was enraging to even think that his brother would dare, a thought that had him so preoccupied that he didn’t hear the door click open. His blue eyes slipped over to you and the wet sound of him furiously fucking his fist stopped abruptly. It was impossible to tell which one of you was redder. This was not what he had been expecting. “Uh-” A rasp of your name interrupted you. “Didn’t Lucifer tell you not to come?” He watched as you nodded dumbly, “Yes”. Heavy breath was the only noise to pass between you several beats. The demon in front of you was wondering whether this was fate; you weren’t running, you looked interested and, fuck, you smelled so good. You smelled aroused and it made him growl; “C’mere then”. The way that you slammed the door and scampered toward him practically had him preening in pleasure. Just as eager, Mammon scrambled over to meet you, flustered yet excited, and hauled you up close to him. He bumped your foreheads together. From here it was easy to see how incredibly blown his pupils were, to feel how desperately ragged his breathing was. You were dangerously close. “Now, see here, I'm gonna give ya one chance to go. ‘Cause if I kiss ya, I’m not gonna be able to stop. I won’t be able to let ya go. You’ll be stuck with me for the whole fuckin’ ride, ya hear?” Holy shit, his voice was so strained. “Then kiss me, you dummy.” No repeat was necessary. Mammon threaded his fingers into your hair, hesitating for only the briefest moment before pressing his lips to yours. When you responded in kind his fervour, his deep rooted greed, quickly followed. He’d wanted to kiss you from day one and not a moment had gone by since without him imagining it. This felt so incredibly right. But he couldn’t ignore the heat curling in his gut. He needed you, wanted you. And as far as he could tell, despite the dark whispers in the back of his mind saying otherwise, you seemed to feel the same.The way that you returned his greedy kisses, how your fingers had twisted sharply in his hair, how you didn’t seem to mind the messy clicking of his elongated fangs against your blunt teeth as he tried to figure out how best to navigate your mouth in this form - how could he deny that he was wanted? Mammon's only regret when looking back on this evening with you would be not savouring your body laid bare for him for the first time. His mind was too heat-addled to appreciate it; he was unable to slowly peel off your layers and to have the sentiment returned in kind as he had previously fantasised about. In his mind’s eye, he had a whole big romantic gesture planned if you had decided to sleep with him. Previously, he had imagined how he would make love to you and treasure every moment of it...but alas… Your clothes were quickly stripped from you, sharp fangs nipping at new skin as it was exposed. There was no delicate treatment here and he paid no heed to the sound of torn material. When he next plundered your mouth, it was far smoother than the first time - he was a fast learner, after all. The only complaint that he had about kissing you was that it muffled those beautiful noises of yours. When he broke the seal of your mouths it was to gently toss you back toward the top of the bed, deeper into his nest and into the comfort of a ridiculous amount of pillows - to properly secure you into his nest. To see you like that felt...good. It felt right. It was clear that was exactly where you belonged. The very image had him growling in satisfaction as he took the opportunity to crawl over your body, his fingers gripping at the meat of your thighs and hips as if ensuring that you were truly there with him. Thankfully, his nails had not yet turned into talons or they would have pierced through you with ease at the way that he handled your flesh. Mammon had to take a deep breath when he looked at you this time. He needed to make sure that he didn’t hurt you while doing this - it was the last thing in the world that he wanted. It was unusual for the Avatar of Greed to put the needs of others before his own...but you weren’t just some ‘other’. You were you. His very own treasure, his very own mate. Reluctantly, a hand left your body to fish for something buried within the nest. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” He coated his fingers generously in lube, desperate to ensure that he would cause as little pain as possible, “Just fuckin’ perfect”. Two fingers slipped into you as Mammon spoke, his tone low and hoarse. Never had he imagined just how difficult it would be to hold himself back like this, nor could he have been prepared for just how much desire he felt in that moment. The sensation of your hot core wrapped around his fingers had him shamelessly rutting against your thigh, a poor attempt at taking the edge off of his lust. A human really had no business wrecking him like this. His heat cycles were normally pretty boring - desperate rutting for a day or two and then back to normal life. You had no right to set his skin aflame like this, no right to have him feel like he could cum just from the noise you made once he had three fingers fucking into your heat. The way his blood was rushing in his ears was deafening...and he wanted more. It didn’t take too long for it all to get too much. Even all of the dark hickies that he had furiously littered your neck, chest and shoulders with weren’t enough to distract him from the wet sound of his fingers preparing you or the stunning sounds he managed to pull from you when he got the angle of his hand just right. Mammon would never admit it, but he kind of missed his target. The point of removing his hand from you had been to slip himself right in. Instead, as he kissed you he rolled his slick cock against your sex...which, to be fair, had felt better than your thigh. And if the sound that you’d made in response was anything to go by, you thought so too. He liked that noise. A lot. So he rolled his hips against you again, groaning in response to you. Ever eager to please, the greedy demon found a rhythm that you both seemed to enjoy in the interim. “Ya like that, huh?” Mammon wasn’t sure where the cockiness in his tone was coming from when internally he felt so nervous. It was those very nerves that quickly had his hand moving to guide his cock to your entrance and thrusting into you before you could retort. Mammon didn’t realise it would silence both of you. By no means was he a virgin. The Great Mammon would have it known that he was a proper Casanova type, thank you very much. He just didn’t realise how different it would feel coupling with someone that he truly and deeply loved. The heat causing that deep need to breed the closest thing with a pulse didn’t help things, of course. It was...incredible, for lack of a better word. Divine. Mammon choked on an Infernal curse once seated completely in you and had to literally bite his tongue to keep an anchor on his self-control. All of that hard earned control was thrown out the window when his name passed your lips. There was no hesitation in how his hips pistoned, fucking into you relentlessly. His hands manoeuvred to cradle the back of your knees and he pushed your legs back to allow him more access to your body, his fingers gripping hard enough to bruise. The noises that left him were snaps and snarls of Infernal praise, not that he realised. The only thought on Mammon’s mind was his primal objective of breeding you until neither of you could move ; it didn’t matter whether you could actually fall pregnant or not. No logic or worry clouded his mind with these thoughts. All he could focus on was filling you with his seed until he couldn’t any more, the thought of your stomach tender and round because of his affections toward his mate... Mammon’s first orgasm came with an embarrassing quickness. When he spilled inside of you, his teeth sinking into the tender flesh of your chest, he was quickly filled with a relief and warmth that he hadn’t felt in ages. For the first time since his heat had set in, there was true clarity in his mind. While his natural instincts weren’t completely quelled, it was enough for him to actually think with something other than his adamantly pulsing dick. His relief quickly fell to mortification, the shadows of which were clear on his features when he pulled back to look at you. His cheeks were tinted red both from exertion and embarrassment ; he hadn’t paid enough attention to get you to climax. He was quick to stutter out your name, mouth tripping on the words that were trying to get out of his mouth as his sluggishly content brain tried to supply words just beyond reach. “What, isn’t The Great Mammon going to make me cum?” Your sass fanned the flames in his loins. A playful snarl was made in response, “Oh sweetheart. I’m going to make you cum so fuckin’ hard you black out. You won’t be able to feel your legs by the time I’m done with you”. And so The Great Mammon set to work. --- Mammon hummed contentedly as you lazily played with the hair at the nape of his neck hours later. This was perfection. Strong fingers stroked your thighs as he enjoyed the sensation of you wrapped around his hips, the pleasure of you sat on his lap while cuddled up together in your nest. The demon toyed with the thought of pushing his hips up just to make you gasp from the overstimulation, but decided against it. Although he was loath to admit it, you needed rest - because Mammon had been good to his word, ensuring that you both had more than your fair share of orgasms. But this was good. The fire in his gut had died down to crackling embers, although he knew it would flare up again soon - but you would be there to help ease him through it. And you even seemed to like helping him out. What was the phrase… ‘mutually beneficial’? Somethin’ like that. His eyes fluttered open when he heard your chuckle. He couldn’t help but wonder if you knew how freakin’ stunning you were when you smiled like that. “What?” When your eyes met his, he was pouting frowning. The laugh that you let out only made his brow furrow more, “I said what. What’s got ya laughin’ like that, huh? You should be out like a freakin’ light by now”. It wasn’t until you replied that he realised how obvious it was, “I didn’t know that demons could purr”. Mammon squawked loudly and attempted to divert your attention - he sounded like a damn motor! It wasn’t fair! He wasn’t even able to control the way he was going off… It was embarrassing. “Well, yeah, y’know, sometimes. We’re incredible ‘n mysterious creatures us demons, y’know! Demons are capable of things that your human mind couldn’t even comprehend! Anyway, ’s not like ’s all the time or anythin’ like that…” He tried to occupy himself and forget about the heat radiating from his face by playing with your hair - but he could feel you smiling against the crook of his neck. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” The incredible and mysterious demon sounded more like a petulant child (well, a purring and petulant child). “So, when do you normally purr?” “I dunno. When we’re happy, I guess?” “Does that mean I haven’t made you happy before?” The way that he spluttered was definitely worth teasing him. “Who said that ya haven’t made me happy?! ‘N besides, this is different!” Even Mammon couldn’t deny that he was now pouting, but he tried to focus on the feeling of your fingers running along his shoulders. It was nice; soothing, even. Until he felt a sharp tug on the back of his neck. “Ouch! You gotta be more gentle than that!” The look of surprise on your face made him want to curl in on himself. “Mammon - are those feathers?” “Phffft,” The greedy demon rolled his eyes and tried to deflect your query, “Shaddap. You dunno what you’re talking ‘bout”. When your mouth opened again, he did take the opportunity to thrust sharply into you. At the gasp, he lurched forward with a passionate kiss. Simply to shut you up, of course. No hidden agenda. His pleased purring melted into a deep rumbling, the fire in his belly stoking itself back to life. It was impossible for him not to roll you over to allow him to bask in more of your shared passion. The laughter that ensued, laughter that he was sure was aimed at him, only made his heart swell as much as his cock.

#obey me #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #deVien writes #deVien writes for asmo #Infernal Heat #Smut #mammon x gn! reader #mammon x gender neutral reader #Gender neutral reader #Mating cycles #Heat cycles #mating cycles/in heat #Feral Mammon #Monster fucking #Well gradual monster fucking #Insecure Mammon #Kind of a breeding kink but that's more instincts

463 notes · View notes

eveenstar · 3 years

Text

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒

𝙰 𝚁𝚎𝚍 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚁𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝟸 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɪɪ

Summary: After the meeting with Dutch, (Y/N) the time-traveler, decides to take a look around the camp while trying to convince herself this was not a dream but reality.

Tags/Warnings: Nothing to add.

Note: Back again from the dead with another chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Well, this was awkward. You couldn't hope to be in a worst situation than this (well, you kinda could) but hey, at least they seem to believe you, right? What else to think when somebody drops out of the sky in the middle of your "home"?

“Well, Miss (L/N), from what you told me and the gang…You’re my great-granddaughter?” Dutch asked, his hands grabbing one of his books while he took a seat on his bed.

“Yes, sir.” The girl stood awkwardly on the tent’s entrance. She didn’t know what else to do, what, hug him? She didn't even know he existed before that old, strange lady appeared in her life. For her, Dutch was nothing but a stranger and maybe he thinks the same of her.

“It’s…nice to meet you. A very interesting experience.” He sounded almost content with it, but also a bit shocked by his voice. “I hope your life is better than, you see, ours.”

The girl let out a nervous laugh. Almost immediately covering her mouth after it. “I’m actually being hunted down by the government. Me and my group, we…did some things they didn’t agree with.”

“Oh. I see. A revolutionist?” Dutch looked at her, his gaze made her feel a bit intimidated.

“Yeah, I guess that’s one way to call it.” How would she describe what a hacker was or the modern technology? Well, (Y/N) did take parts in a few riots so perhaps revolutionist was a appropriate term to call it on the 1800s. But she wasn’t so sure about that. The life she left behind, James and the others, everything she knew was...well, not dead, but non-existing now.

“Don’t be so nervous, Miss.” The man said in a gentle tune. “I promise you, none of us will bring you any harm.” He stood up, slowly caressing her arm.

“Thanks.” She returned a kind smile, but was it the truth?

I wanted to go back that exact time, I didn't want to be there anymore. From all the movies and tvshows I'd seen, messing with the past doesn't go well, never. So who was I to tempt fate?

"I have a few more questions for you, but you need to rest. Must've been hard getting here." Dutch guided you outside and handed you some stuff, probably to make your own tent. You really hoped there weren't many bugs out here. "I'll let you get settled first."

You nodded, before taking a few hesitant steps towards the "light" (or, in this case, a fellow tree a bit distant from the others). You didn't want to bother anyone, so you began making your little forth underneath a tree and next to a few rocks. But, not that you haven't gone camping before, but this was harder than it looked. It's like your own house was fighting against you. Things kept falling or getting in the way, and nothing was going according to plan. A frustrated sigh escaped your lips.

"Need some help?"

You flinched at the voice and turned around to meet eyes with, by your memory, Javier Escuella. He was taller in person. That's all you had to say, for now. He had a soft yet deep gaze on his eyes, but if we're being honest, he looked threatening. He raised an curious eyebrow by how long you were taking to answer his simple question. You nodded, then chuckled nervously and waved around the "tent" you were building.

"I'm having a bit of trouble here."

With a better set of hands, your little fort was finished in just two hours. This felt different, y'know? Surreal to say the least. Few birds were singing, the horses in the background, the wind blowing through you, the nature, the sounds of people talking, a life you've never known. Not like this. It was kinda similiar to the life you and your friends had, the only difference being: You didn't held camps in the wild. Like Dutch, you were the leader of your group, and James was your right hand. Maybe you did resemble him a bit, just maybe. Now you were here, talking and interacting with people that in your time, were long gone. You were changing history, the past, everything. Was this the right choice?

"Are you okay?"

"Sì," You immediately looked at him, "Sorry, kinda drifted off a bit."

Javier stared at you in confusion, "Drifted?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry hah. I got lost in thought."

For your delight, Javier laughed at it before excusing himself and leaving you there to your own miserable mind. Your bed felt heavy and rocky, but it's better than nothing. You had no idea what to do now, should you go meet the others? Well, they certainly thing you're strange. Mary-Beth seemed to like you, and she could become your first friend here! Keep the hopes up, (Y/N), you're definitely gonna need it here.

"Ahem, hey Mary!"

"(Y/N)! How was the meeting with Dutch?" She paused her book and glanced over to you, while patting her hand next to her. "Come, sit!"

"It was alright," You replied almost robotically. Your mind was empty to any functional thoughts.

"This is like a fantasy book. You came from the future to change the past, and met a long lost relative." Mary-Beth almost had stars in her eyes while thinking about the "amazing" story of yours. For as amazing as it sounds, it really wasn't something that cool once you experienced it. You felt out of place. "Tell me, how is the future?"

Your mind ran through all the memories you have, every information, every place, every moment now lost in time.

"It's...harsh, unfair and cruel. Like it always has been, I suppose."

"It can't be that bad, surely." For as much as the media likes to portray the modern age as a fairy tale, it's more of a terror genre. You remember the cruel things people had told you over the years, how your dreams were not realistic enough, "become a doctor!" everybody said.

"They don't care about us. They don't care for people like you and me." Jamie told me once. I wonder how he is now. I miss everybody, especially those late nights when we used to sing our hearts out and dance as if there was no tomorrow. It's too late now.

You gave her a small smile, "Not always."

She returned the smile, happily.

"So what's wrong with you, you old fool?"

A tall, bearded man drunkly limped towards someone older, Hosea Matthews, and spoke in a way that the older man didn't seem to like one bit. Hosea didn't even spare him a glance,"Go sleep it off, you drunken baffoon."

Bill Williamson, as you know remembered correctly now, stepped closer to Hosea and stared at him, almost as if he was daring him to repeat it again, "Excuse me?"

Like the winds change the tides, Hosea got up in a swift movement and pointed his gun at Bill, who fell to his feet. "I've excused you quite enough! Go sleep it off, is that clear?"

Bill hurriedly got back on his feet and stepped back, hands in the air with, what you could call, a frightened look on his face (which changed to angry after a few seconds).

"Okay!...Okay."

The few people that were present either got back to whatever they were doing or didn't even mind the occurence in the first place, like it was something normal to happen around here. You excused yourself and made your way to Hosea, who was sitting on a wooden table. You wondered where they got all this stuff, including the tables. Did they make them? Steal them? You rolled your eyes at the thought of the gang going to a local bar and stealing all of their tables.

"Uh, hello!" You greeted and took a seat in front of him. "I don't think we've been properly introduced, I'm...Well, you probably alright know who I am." You chuckled.

"Hosea Matthews, " He looked at you with a serene look on his eyes. He reminded you of those elderly folks you'd meet around town who were incredibly nice for their own good. "Have you been handling this alright? I know how this gang can be sometimes."

"I haven't had the chance to meet everybody yet, just Dutch, Mary-Beth, Javier and you, sir."

"Well, all in due time. You can come to me if you need anythin' else."

"Thank you, I'll make sure to remember it."

Hosea was like a father to me, or for most people in the gang. Wish I'd met someone like him before. He was a good man. I remember, when I first met him, that I thought he'd ask me plenty of questions about the future. To my surprise, he didn't. I think he wanted me to have some space, process everything that's happened so far. I miss him the most. Apart from Arthur, and Dutch. Who lost his way.

When I arrived, I had to make up my mind. I had to compose myself because this was about to be my new life, "for now" , I thought. I was ready to face this reality of time-traveling and the way things worked in that era. I was foolish. So, so foolish.

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 fanfiction #rdr2 fanfic #the way of time fanfiction series #dutch van der linde x reader #javier escuella x reader #rdr 2 modern!reader #rdr2 time-traveler!reader #dutch van der linde #javier escuella #arthur morgan

113 notes · View notes

ballad-in-goblets · 3 years

Text

inazuma archon quest (rewrite ? critique ?)

OKay so i’m gonna preface this with i don’t hate the inazuma archon quests ! i quite enjoyed the storyline and everything about it, there are just things that ,,, i'm not so satisfied with. and so i'm gonna go over those here and rewrite it or like. idk offer critique lol something like that !

real quick, @like-that-one-weird-dog-thing here if u want this here's that ramble i was talking about lol (yeah i made a genshin tumblr kSDKGHDFFGD)

i feel like this is a given but;

spoilers for all acts of the inazuma archon quest under the cut

with that out of the way, onto the rewrite ! (quick side note: it kinda turns more into a creative writing piece more than a critique or full rewrite near the end which is not what i meant to do but it still gets my point across so !! it works)

so, like i said, i quite enjoyed the archon quest. the first two acts (autumn winds, scarlet leaves & the immovable god and the eternal euthymia) are perfect, i don't think i'd change anything in those two acts at all. the third act (stillness, the sublimation of shadow) is also wonderful, and i honestly think that's my favourite out of the archon quest acts so far ! it's mainly when act 3, omnipresence over mortals, hits that i think it fell a bit short

things kinda feel... a bit rushed when it comes to this quest ? compared to the slow, steady pace of the prologue and act 1, then the speeding up of act 2, it honestly seems too fast paced and yet too slow at the same time. some parts of act 3 were really fast, like the encounter with scaramouche and the duel with la signora, and then some were... really slow. like the entire bit with the reistance.

on top of that, a lot of characters really fell short for me. it felt like teppei, an unplayable npc, was way more important than gorou, sangonomiya kokomi, kujou sara, basically everyone except for yae miko and raiden shogun. which, don't get me wrong, teppei was important, but i feel like these other characters had a big introduction only to just... kinda exist with no real reason.

gorou and sangonomiya kokomi were played up as big characters due to their status in the resistance - kujou sara was played up as the raiden shogun's right hand woman, and they were advertised as the duo of inazuma - hell, it even felt like kamisato ayaka was going to play a larger role in the final act of the story. and then none of them really did.

gorou only shows up to inform us about the soldiers aging quickly (and a bit near the end, but kaedehara kazuha had more of a role there, with actually leaping towards the shogun). sangonomiya seems important, but her only real action is making us a force captain and then telling us where the delusion factory could be. kujou sara only showed up to talk to the head of the kujou clan then get fucking knocked out by la signora in front of the raiden shogun, who did nothing about a snezhnayan diplomat knocking out her LEAD GENERAL ! kamisato ayaka only appeared for a few moments.

so, now that i've explained some of why i felt the final act fell short, i'm going to offer up how i would've changed things.

first, gorou and sangonomiya should play a bigger role in the story. like, they're the leads of the resistance, and they get less screentime than unplayable npcs... that's kinda weird. kujou sara should also play a bigger role. kamisato ayaka, i think would be fine with not appearing, due to how much of a part she played in the first acts, but gorou, sangonomiya kokomi, and kujou sara should be a lot more present, just in general.

in the 2.1 trailer, there were lines of "peace talk", correct ? i feel like that should've been in the story. perhaps after the traveler meets with sangonomiya on watatsumi island, they hear word of kujou sara wishing to meet. they meet up with her, which is where the peace talk comes into play. the two sides start trying to come up with a compromise. while this is happening, gorou is keeping an eye on things back on watatsumi island... where things start getting strange.

the soldiers start showing signs of accelerated aging. it's concerning, and as far as they're aware, unstoppable. due to this, sangonomiya cuts the compromising short to return to her people and try to help them. perhaps kujou sara could make a jab at this, something like "how do you ever plan to defeat the shogun's army if you can't even keep your own soldiers alive outside of a fight?" which could lead to sangonomiya and the traveler believing that kujou knows something about what's going on (even though she doesn't).

upon getting back, the traveler recognises the delusions. honestly ? i really liked the delusion subplot. i really like the idea of the fatui trying to tear inazuma apart, kind of like they did mondstadt and liyue, so they could get their hands on baal's gnosis. perhaps they had it so that scaramouche was in charge of scattering the resistance forces, while la signora was working behind the scenes with the kanjou commission and the tenryou commission to manipulate the raiden shogun.

i love the part where teppei dies, simply due to how emotional it was. i genuinely cried at that part, lol... but i really enjoyed it. i would say, keep that in. after discovering the delusions, things stay relatively the same. the traveler goes to teppei and watches him die, and then goes to the factory to get revenge, where they meet scaramouche. yae miko still saves them, however...

instead of remaining at the shrine to talk to yae the entire time, i think the traveler would want to go back to the resistance. sure, yae could very much help them defeat the raiden shogun, but the traveler is working with the resistance, who, from what we've seen, can be quite strong... at times. however, as they're about to leave, yae leaves the traveler with these parting words: "be careful of who you trust, child. not everyone who seems like a friend is one"

why ? well, i love the idea of the resistance not entirely being in the right, either. y'know that giant serpent that baal struck down ? yeah, that was watatsumi's protector deity. simply put: watatsumi island doesn't really like the raiden shogun, and i doubt sangonomiya feels much differently. i would love if one of the subplots was about how the resistance wasn't firstly formed to fight the vision hunt decree, but just the shogun in general, and slowly morphed to fighting the vision hunt decree.

after returning to the resistance, the traveler tells sangonomiya what they found. after speaking for awhile, they figure out that the fatui is most likely not just making things miserable on the front of the resistance (via the delusions). how do they figure this out ? the traveler, of course. while wondering why the fatui are in inazuma, the traveler remembers how the harbingers are trying to collect all the gnosis. they make this known to sangonomiya, who guesses that the fatui could be trying to make inazuma a mess so they can get the shogun's gnosis. at this point, the traveler heads back to the grand narukami shrine to speak to yae miko, hoping she'll know more about this, with sangonomiya at their side.

upon arrival, yae miko is speaking to kujou sara. kujou and sangonomiya are immediately.. well, simply put, not happy to be in each other's presence. yae miko calms them down, and tells them all what she was telling kujou. sangonomiya and the traveler were right: the fatui were behind the vision hunt decree. sangonomiya tells kujou what had happened in the resistance, and the traveler tells her what happened in the other nations, with the fatui (specifically la signora) hunting the gnosis. kujou mentions seeing a harbinger, a tall woman with blonde hair, and the traveler connects the dots. it's la signora, and she's in inazuma. kujou still isn't convinced, so the traveler does need to get kamisato ayaka and sayu's help to get the documents.

while waiting for the documents to arrive, the traveler speaks more with sangonomiya, where they learn more about the past of watatsumi island and the serpent deity. perhaps, trusting the traveler, sangonomiya reveals to them why she started the resistance in the first place: to get revenge on the shogun for killing their deity. of course, as time went on, she is now fighting against the vision hunt decree and simply wants to see inazuma united again, though it shakes the travelers trust in the resistance. after all... teppei, their good friend, died for the reistiance, and here sangonomiya is telling them that she started it simply to get revenge on baal for a centuries old fight that was ended... well, centuries ago.

after getting the documents, the traveler meets with kujou sara at the grand narukami shrine. sangonomiya was planning to come, but gorou needed her help tending to more soldiers at the resistance, as some refused to hand over their delusions. things stay relatively the same from here. kujou confronts takayuki, and she goes to speak to the shogun about this. while that's going on, yae miko is speaking to the traveler, giving them a brief rundown on what is going on with the raiden shogun - the one that is actually given in the quest, where we learn more about her puppet and her name being ei and whatnot. afterwards, the traveler goes to face the raiden shogun. they find la signora and kujou sara in a standoff, with the raiden shogun taking kujou's side (they are a duo, after all). la signora moves to attack kujou, but...

before she can land a strike, our traveler runs in, stopping her blow. all three parties present are startled - a wanted criminal in inazuma just stopped inazuma's head general from being attacked. it's not something you see every day. after speaking a bit more, the traveler challenges la signora to a duel before the throne, remembering this as an option due to kaedehara kazuha telling them about his friend. the traveler wins, and as such, la signora is executed... or is she ? well, to the traveler it seems like she is, but some subtle hints clue us in to the fact that something seems off. maybe la signora isn't dead, after all.

however, before la signora is executed, kujou sara steps in. she can tell that the traveler needs to ask signora something, and as they have been helping her, she asks the raiden if they can ask their one question before she executes signora. raiden agrees. and so, the traveler asks... "why?"

"why what?" signora laughs, though it's a pained laugh. "i'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific."

"you didn't just take venti's gnosis."

"not like you did zhongli's."

"you were brutal. you knew him."

"what did he ever do to you?"

and then... a cutscene. a story cutscene, to be exact. telling us about la signora's backstory as the crimson witch of flames (after all, this is fully confirmed during the fight). it shows her meeting her lover, and her lover perishing in the war, and her turning into the crimson witch. it shows her blaming venti for her lover's death, and then being found by the fatui. given her cryo delusion so she could appear as a human in a world of humans, and vowing to work side by side with the tsaritsa... as long as she can get revenge on the god that caused her lover to die.

after that, the raiden shogun executes signora. the traveler leaves, and we get that terrifying cutscene of them walking (which, let me tell you, scared the hell out of me. it was wonderfully made, please keep that in). we see the resistance coming up, having decided now was the time to take back inazuma... and then, the raiden shogun appears. not fully attacking the traveler, but she appears, walking on the steps out of a portal, like she did when facing the traveler the first time. kaedehara kazuha, in a moment of anger, lunges forward, activating his friend's vision as he clashes his blade with the shogun. she knocks him back, raising her blade to end him and take his vision when the traveler jumps in again.

and this time, she takes them back to the plane of euthymia.

the fight happens again, and once more, the traveler is not strong enough to win. however, the voice of yae miko rings in their ears: "your ambition alone is not enough to stop ei". words that were said to them right as they left to go find kujou sara.

and in that moment, the visions reach out to them. the stolen ambitions of all these people, gifting their ambition to the traveler. and, in the end of that all, we see the face of teppei. we see his hope, his determination to help the resistance. except, it's not just an illusion, it's a spirit. "help the resistance for me, okay, my friend?"

and the traveler gets the strength. they fight back against the raiden shogun, and they defeat her. they win. they are thrown out of the plane of euthymia, and the raiden shogun is kneeling over, weak. she lost the fight. she lost the fight. she looks up at the traveler, her eyes glowing a bright purple as she takes them in.

"their ambitions are stored within you."

"you really are an exception."

she stands up, and the traveler readies their blade. is she going to attack them again? instead, her blade simply... vanishes in her hands. in a brilliant, electrifying light, what was once there is no longer there. she stands before the traveler, empty handed. just looking at them. the traveler lowers their weapons.

"you are no longer wanted in inazuma. even i can't beat you."

"that's not what i want."

"oh? then what is it?"

"end the vision hunt decree. now."

and the raiden shogun laughs. "you think you get to make that choice?"

"almighty shogun." kujou sara is there, too. had she always been there? the traveler isn't sure. "the vision hunt decree.. it's harming inazuma."

"not just vision bearers," gorou adds. "but the entirety of the inazuman people."

"vision bearers and non vision bearers alike." even sangonomiya kokomi is there. "we have been fighting to end this for two years. people have died on all ends. many lives have been lost. don't you think it's time to end this?"

"after all, it was the fatui's doing." and then, there's yae. and the shogun seems shocked, then angry, then hurt, then... sad. then happy.

"yae. my old friend..."

the shogun takes in the people all around her. she takes in friends and enemies, foes and allies, vision bearers and regular people... and yet, despite their differences, they're all inazuman. they're all her people. they looked to her for guidance, and it failed.

"very well."

the decree is over. visions are returned to the few still able to receive them. the raiden shogun, for the first time in what feels like an eternity, steps out of the plane of euthymia. for the first time in years, the shogun is not who walks the streets, no; it is ei who walks the streets alongside her people. she goes to the small villages, along with her good friends yae miko and kujou sara, and she sees the damage she caused on her people. sangonomiya kokomi and gorou show her the resistance troops, who, at first, almost try to attack, before ei steps down and bows to them, asking for their forgiveness. she sees the damage her idea of eternity inflicted upon inazuma, and she makes it her goal to do better.

after all. she was aware it was the fatui's doing. she knew what the fatui were doing. she knew that two of her three commissions were working behind her back. and she did nothing about it, as it fit well with her goals at the time. she turned her back on her people in a false pursuit of eternity that would only end in loss. she recognises that. she knows what she did was wrong, and she takes the steps towards making things right. she reopens inazuma's borders, and takes down the statue of the omnipresent god.

alongside yae miko, she offers advice to the traveler on where their sibling might be. she suggests they go to sumeru next; the city of scholars might know something. when asked about what they were told by yae, the ei tells the story herself. the story of two twins; baal and beelzebul, makoto and ei. how one lost the other, and took over her identity. much like venti and the unnamed bard.

in the final cutscene, we see how inazuma starts to heal. sangonomiya prays at the watatsumi island shrine, for all the souls lost in the resistance. gorou and kujou sara start working together to mend the relationships between the reistance and the shogun's army. yoimiya, thoma, and kamisato ayaka enjoy a game of hot pot together, with sayu sleeping nearby. kaedehara kazuha leaves his friend's vision at his grave, and he takes his friend's cat with him. behind him, beidou awaits for her friend to join her, and the two walk off together. yae miko looks up at the sacred sakura, it's petals blowing in the wind. we see the traveler walk up to her to thank her for her help, and she simply smiles at them. sakura petals cover the screen... and then we see ei.

we see her walking alone. it's sunset, just about to go dark, but not just yet. it's lightly raining... and we see her kneel down at what seems to be a shrine. she leaves an offering before she stands up and moves away. we see the names engraved on the shrine - makoto. chiyo. sasayuri. kitsune saiguu. her sister, and her old friends. eternally preserved in a shrine created by the one who still cares for them.

and end scene.

#genshin impact #inazuma #inazuma archon quest #raiden shogun #yae miko #kujou sara #sangonomiya kokomi #gorou #la signora #scaramouche #genshin spoilers #genshin impact spoilers

19 notes · View notes

bunnieresources · 3 years

Text

bugsnax writing prompts.

“ you’re the only one who gets to know! “

“ you. are. a. life-saver, ____! “

“ sorry, i was too busy dying to introduce myself. “

“ um... sorry if this is a stupid question, but, uh, what are you doing out here? “

“ you know, you’re a pretty good hunter, like ____ said. “

“ it’s been rough since ____ vanished. been rougher for some than others. “

“ it says right here. ____, personality type: squeeb. skills: none. friends: none. "

“ i don’t know what i expected. without ____ around, nobody would want to come back here. “

“ i’m not good at most stuff, but i like to help out. “

“ nobody will listen to me... but you, you’re pretty good at stuff and, well, nobody hates you yet! “

“ despite your lack of any and all useful skills, i require your assistance. “

“ sorry ____, inspiration is so hard to find. i just have to sing wherever it strikes me. “

“ lucky you, you get an autograph! “

“ i can see you are utterly starstruck. don’t fret, darling, i always have time for my fans. “

“ ____, you're back! don't you ever leave me agaaaain! "

" you've always wanted a life of adventure. i'm just holding you back. "

" you take care of ____... or else! "

" oh. i wouldn't have come back if i knew YOU were here. "

" well, when you've been married this long, the little spats just pile up. doesn't take much to knock 'em all down. "

" you've got a way of digging up the truth outta the lies. "

" y'know i-it looks just a little bit... um, exploded. but i'm sure we can patch that up. eventually. "

" i don't know nearly enough about YOU yet. i'm just itching to dig up more dirt! "

" shindigs like this don't sit right with me. feels like i should be getting work done. "

" i, like, live here now. you started a party around ME. "

" you don't know a thing about love! that's why ____ left you! "

" i'm gonna do violence to you. "

" don't act like you're in charge. if you had the spine to lead us, everybody would still be here. "

" i'm ____ and i basically do whatever i want. "

" hmm... let's just say i'm an 'information specialist.' "

" unrelated fun fact: did you know that no international laws apply out here? "

" we have too many geminis around here and i'm gone getting caught up in social dumpster fires. "

" don't joke around. i don't want you taking risks to impress me! "

" you're lucky it's such a shallow cut. and stop squirming around or i'll have to restrain you! "

" thanks, ____. i'd fall to pieces without you. "

" it's like grandma always said: if you want answers, dig through their sock drawer. "

" just a cosmic reminder that nothing really lasts, eh? "

" i thought maybe time would help. but time's just pushing me closer to the grave, and i'm not feeling any better. "

" ____, i apologize for putting you through such an ordeal. it was all for the same of art, and art is priceless. "

" nobody's desperate enough to steal from you...anymore. "

" can we just quit it with the spooky stuff? i don't think i'm gonna get any sleep! "

" if something goes wrong, sacrifice ____ first. "

" move along, interloper. whatever sort of spy or counter-agent you are, i'm not about to fall for your tricks. "

" my poor, sweet ____ has always been too trusting. "

" i wish i could tell you everything, but knowing the truth would only put you in more danger. "

" you've been an invaluable ally. i'm even tempted to call you a friend. but quietly, so i'm not overheard. "

" i heard nobody comes back from this place... sounds like a challenge to me! "

" i know i don't have any real talent. my whole career was an accident! "

" you're not better than me, ____. nobody likes all your snooping around. "

" ha! i don't care what they think about me, as long as i make sure you get what you deserve. "

" i learned early on that life is like a box of trash. you always know what you're gonna get... trash. "

" i'm not TELLING you the terrible secrets because they are TERRIBLE and SECRET! "

" unlike you, i don't lie for a living. "

" don't take this the wrong way, ____, but you are a bit high-strung. a little beauty sleep would do you wonders. "

" when you're finished with your amusements, come see me. we have work to do. "

" i'm just so sick of feeling like an empty shell. i want to stop relying on everybody else. "

" i'm on the verge of a breakthrough. now, assist me or begone with you! "

" isn't it SO sad that i call you my bestie? haha, i like, barely know you. and if i did get to know you, you'd probably hate me for it. "

" the world will crush you if you let it. i gotta be strong enough to keep you/____ safe from all that. "

" meet me outside my place. midnight. no cops. "

" i got this condition where i'm deathly allergic to jail time. "

" you're a blight on society. "

" the more innocent somebody looks, the nastier the secret. trust me. "

" you are asking for opinions instead of facts. i'm not going to discuss my feelings with you, you emotional parasite. "

" very good! you're actually being useful. "

" even after everything you've done, i still care about you, ____. "

" they---they left me... i guess that's just what family does. "

" you think i LIKE being a scumbag? huh? a grifter, a hustler? it's all miserable. "

" i wasn't born rich, and that means i can't afford to be happy. "

" ugh, was my writing always this sloppy? it's not doctor bad, but still. "

" you're okay! you are okay, right? no drowsiness, numbness, or missing limbs? "

" ____?! it's really you! you're here! alive... and... not dead! "

" oh, ____, it's so good to see you! i can't believe you've been here all this time. you're so... different! "

" i'm a burden to everyone around me! that's why ____ is gone! "

" please, just go. i can't stand to see anyone else hurt. "

" i need some time to think. i still wanna figure out what i got wrong. when i do, i'll come find you. "

" i give this party seven out of ten. which is pretty good, i guess... for you. "

" your apology is as lacking as your ethical standards, but... it's a start. "

" you're interrupting personal business. unless you have something intelligent to say, begone. "

" i don't tell jokes, ____. i am not creative. "

" if you're really not coming back, then... then what am i supposed to do without you? "

" is it over? please say it's over. my heart can't take much more of this... "

" also you're legally dead. might wanna clear that up soon. "

#ask memes #rp memes #inbox memes #ask prompts #rp prompts #inbox prompts #writing prompts #writing memes #rp resources #writing resources #sentence starters

125 notes · View notes

28dayslater · 3 years

Note

okay so basically my question is, is uni as fun as it looks?

i'm 23 and never went, i couldn't even finish college bc of mental health and then i never knew what i wanted in life so thought it didn't matter that i didn't go right away and i kept meaning to like figure it out but then i fell into a job i really like and have been here for a few years now and am content enough. no one in my family went to uni so it was never expected of me so when i didn't go there were no consequences y'know.

but social media is full of people in/who just graduated uni and it looks so fun that i feel like i've missed out. people posting videos in their new accomodation and with their flatmates and becoming best friends and staying up all night, going out doing random things and just having fun and being young with no expectations, and i feel like i've never experienced anything in my life.

like i did some of it, i moved out but there's no parties, no events or societies or getting off with strangers. and i hate to admit it but i still only have a single friend, not the friend group i always wanted. i've been on nights out a few times but it's always different because i know i have to go to work tomorrow, it's never the carefree "i don't know where i'll wake up and that's fine just living in the moment" type of experience. everything is different as an adult i guess. i'm tired by 8pm and going out until 10 is late for me.

and like i know myself i know i would not do well in uni due to my mental health and i would have dropped out or failed, and honestly i do not want to study i do not do well in education. i like finishing work and not having to worry about homework or whatever, but i really wish i could have experienced the social side of uni. i don't know if i'd have even enjoyed it, and it might have gotten old real quick, but i wish i could have at least tried it. and especially when everyone i work with met their partners and friends at uni, and i'm here doing everything i want to do just on my own because my singular friend doesn't share most of my interests.

but i also know people often exaggerate things on social media, and that lots of people don't share their experiences so i'm not sure whether uni is as fun as it always seems or whether it's just select people only sharing their few good experiences. idk i'm just kind of feeling like my entire life has just passed me by or something idk.

sorry for the dump omg i did not mean to say all that i was just gonna ask the question but lost the plot a bit 😭

i think the thing with uni is that like most things it is what you make of it. its a wonderful opportunity to hang out with people your own age, party and ignore your lectures and make stupid decisions bc youre on your own for the first time, and theres no other situation where youre gonna be so free to do what you want, but even when youre there that opportunitys only there if you take it. i went uni for three years, spent half of it violently depressed and not getting out of bed or doing any work, fucked up my actual degree and left with precisely one friend that im still in contact with. so even if youre in the position to be having the time of your life its very easy to waste it and end up having had no fun at all.

it sounds like you wouldnt have enjoyed the actual studying and what you're envious of is purely the social side. and tbf the social part of it does get old quickly, i spent my entire third year living with my best friend just watching crap tv every night instead of ever leaving the house or seeing anyone else. but also, theres no reason you cant create that social life for yourself! all the parties and that i went to at uni were just club nights in town or occasionally at the student union, you dont have to be invited or know anyone before you go.

and as miserable as it is to do and as trite as it sounds, you can make friends even when you're not forced together by school or uni or student accomodation. coworkers, friends of friends, roommates, online mutuals who don't live hundreds of miles away, you can ask those people to hang out and see where you can get from there. and as much as it sickens me to say bc i sound like my mum, theres always societies and events and stuff you can join if you go looking. most my adult friendships have only stayed in my life bc ive put effort into them and made a point of seeing those people and actively making plans. fucking sucks shit but thats the nature of being an adult, when youre not forced together by circumstance every day you have to cling to every friendship youve got and dig your claws in hard

but i hope you do okay! and i think you will

#asks #anonymous #long post omg

8 notes · View notes

fearofffear · 3 years

Text

show me the places where the others gave you scars

A/N: soo...hi. i’ve never posted a fanfic about choices but sadly, given the circunstances... i did this to wash the bad taste off my mouth after ch. 8. so my mc gets blamed, he gets screamed at and humilliated, but ethan is the one who gets all pissy and for what? he fucked up, he shouldn't be mad. but my mc who was innocent gets the worst end of the stick? and worst HE has to console this mf? screw that. i'm writing my own version of oph. anyways, i didn't want the bondage outfit for a scene with jackie, i wanted my mc to come home to jackie and TALK y'know. so that's exactly what i wrote. congrats pb, i promised myself i was never going to write again yet here i am. hope you enjoy!

pairing: jackie varma x m!mc (george valentine)

rating: t (some cursing, nothing too heavy)

summary: George feels crushed and angry after the showdown at the hospital, luckily for him, Jackie offers him a shoulder to cry on.

The sound of a slamming door pulls Jackie out of her concentration as she looks up from her stack of papers on the table to the front door. She leaves the pencil next to them as George walks in, and he looks like he’s about to explode.

“Heey...what happened?” George drops himself on the couch, burying his face on his hands. She raises an eyebrow when he doesn’t answer.

She stands up, leaving her paperwork behind (she can finish it later) and sits gently next to him, putting a reassuring hand on his knee. As George finally lifts his head, Jackie feels a sudden rush of anger and worry at the sight of his red nose and red trimmed eyes.

“George what…”

“They don’t trust me.” He says, sniffling softly as he toys with the end of his shirt. His eyes far away as Jackie leans closer, her eyes worriedly searching his face.

“Who? George please talk to me.” She tries her best to keep the desperation out of her voice, but her eyes betray her.

George sees the worry in her eyes and shakes his head, offering her a sad smile. “Harper...and it’s all Ethan’s fault.” He finishes with clenched teeth, the sadness in his eyes replaced by a raging fire. “He not only risked Elijah’s hard work…” Jackie raises her eyebrows at that. “But also refused to tell the entire team which led to Harper believing I was the one who who did it ”

“I’m sorry George, but i’m not understanding what you’re talking about.” She raises her hand from his knee to his cheek, softly stroking it with her thumb.

So he explains everything, from Elijah’s research, to Michael’s disease, to Ethan putting Michael in the human trials for the drug behind everyone’s back, and Jackie resists the urge to roll her eyes, because of course Ethan Ramsey didn’t care about the consequences of his actions.

“So you told me they don’t trust you, why?” She feels angry, because even if it was stupid, whatever happened made George miserable and while she feels the need to punch someone on the face she also wishes to take George in her arms and hold him until he feels better.

“Harper came in this evening, pointing her finger at me because she found out about Michael being in the human trials for Elijah’s drug, which is illegal by the way, and of course if there was someone to blame...it was me.” Jackie shakes her head, she cannot believe Harper would immediately blame George, especially since he has been nothing but friendly to her. But at the same time, a small part of her brain tells her that Harper isn’t George’s friend, she doesn’t know him, and she did the best with the facts she had. “And Tobias actually defended me, but it wasn’t enough, she kept going on and on saying about how it was obvious that it was me, because of the whole Ms. Martinez thing.” She clenches her eyes shut, because she knows how sensitive George gets about that.

“I tried to defend myself, but it was too late, without any evidence Harper ratted me out to Naveen.” Jackie feels her heart drop and a cold chill run down her spine, because there’s no way this is happening again. George can’t risk losing his licence again. She won’t allow it again.

“Thankfully, Ethan came in and heard everything. He told Harper that it was him, and that i had nothing to do with it, so if anyone was going down, it was him.” Despite her current anger, she lets out a small sigh of relief, she was ready to go deck Ethan if he didn’t take action and let George take the fall, but since he didn’t, the punching could wait.

“So, what happens now?”

“Ethan will probably be suspended, put on trial and…”

“And?”

“And the team will fall to either Tobias or Harper.” George reaches a hand and Jackie takes it, his fingers interlacing strongly with hers.

“But i don’t care about that. I care about the fact that Harper was so determined about how i was guilty…” There’s a small edge to his voice, most likely upset. “She told me she admired me, y’know? A couple of days ago.” He laughs dryly, no humor to it. “What a load of bull.”

“I get that you’re mad, you have every right to be, but she doesn’t owe anything to you, and neither do you.” Jackie speaks strongly, meeting his eyes fiercely. She squeezes his hand in hers. “You’re an amazing doctor, she doesn’t get to take that away from you.”

George smiles, perhaps for the first time he arrived, a true genuine smile that reaches his eyes, and raises her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss. “You’re the amazing one, you know that right?”

Jackie smiles bashfully. “Dumbass, I'm already sleeping with you, you don’t have to try to get into my pants.”

“I know, and i don’t wanna take that for granted.” He reaches and grabs her chin softly, bringing her lips to his for a kiss. Jackie smiles against his mouth, placing a hand on his neck.

After a moment, he breaks the kiss and rubs his thumb close to her lips, staring at her eyes intensely. “Look, I know you care about your co-workers, it’s perhaps your biggest flaw.” She says, never breaking eye contact. “You want everyone to get along but sadly, not everyone will trust you. And you don’t have to put so much faith unto others.”

George sighs, and lowers his eyes. But Jackie places her other hand on his cheek and forces his eyes to meet hers. “You have an amazing heart George, and even though this gets you in trouble, you wouldn’t be the George I love if you didn’t have it.” There’s a hidden message there but both of them know they aren’t ready for those three little words yet. So it remains unspoken.

He smiles stupidly, reaching to put a strand of hair behind her ear. “You give amazing pep talks, I think being Chief Resident has made you soft.”

Jackie rolls her eyes, slapping a hand to his shoulder as he laughs. “Shut up.”

George's eyes move from her to the stack of papers behind them and his mouth opens in surprise. “You were working? I’m sorry i didn’t mean to interrupt”

“It’s okay, I was bored and I needed a break. But now i need to return to it.”

He kisses her cheek and stands up. “Okay, don’t let me hold you.” He says with a small smile, turning to leave and it’s kind of annoying, Jackie thinks, how she can’t stop smiling when he’s around, she didn’t use to be this soft, but George always brings out this side of her.

“Before you leave…” George turns around, his eyes finding hers immediately. “Are you okay?” Jackie asks worriedly, her eyebrows pinched together.

“Better than okay. Thank you for helping me.” He says with a soft voice, reaching down to kiss her forehead, and Jackie can feel her cheeks flush, but she doesn’t say anything, she just rolls her eyes and watches him leave, her heart feeling fuller and weightless at the same time. She stands with a wistful sigh, walking over to finish her work.

Meanwhile, in his room, George closes the door behind him and his eyes find the picture he has on his mirror. A picture of him and Jackie, taken on the day of the baseball match past year. They both have a beer in their hands, her arm slinged around his shoulders as she laughs at something he said, her head thrown back and her face scrunched up adorably, while George looks enthralled at her, his eyes and smile soft as he stares at her, an arm around her waist.

Sienna took that picture (right before it all went to shit) and he remembers how she came to him and showed him the picture, she kept awwing, saying how cute they both looked. At the end of the day she sent it to him, and despite Jackie not knowing about it, he printed the photo and it has been on his mirror ever since. Of course Jackie saw it (she’s been in his room enough times) and he remembers her nodding her head at the picture, mumbling something along the lines of ‘looks good’ but right before he could answer, she kissed him sensless, the photo the last thing on his mind, and she never mentioned it again, and never asked for George to put it down, so he guessed she liked it.

As he looks at the picture he comes to the realization that no matter what happens next, he’ll be okay, as long as he has her by his side, he can get through anything.

#playchoices #open heart #jackie varma #jackie varma x mc #jackie x mc #adamsvegas writes #this chapter made me so angry i wrote a fanfic #lmao anyway #i haven't written in a while #so forgive me 🥴

22 notes · View notes

outoftimewriting · 4 years

Text

Imagine (Son of Hades! Percy; Godswapped! Big Three's kids (6/7) or (11/12)

House of Hades Pt.2 - In the Argo II

Hello darlings! Before reading this, there's at least other 11 parts - and I almost had to divide this into two - check on the masterpost - but don't be sad is ending :(

First - I have no idea if I'll divide Blood of Olympus in two because I hate the climax Rick wrote - so probably? Also not sure if I'll need an epilogue - we're not delving into TOA, though.

Second - I'll keep writing! I have a handful of ideas that I want to do next - and the next AU will have Female! Percy - so keep logging in!

Check on the warnings before proceeding, and good reading :))

To say that things are tense in the Argo II is downplaying the major depression the ship seemed to be sunk in since Perseus fell.

Leo and, surprisingly, Nico are the only ones who are able to get anything done in the first couple of days, but they aren't fooling anyone - the white eyes of the son of Zeus seem to be every day a little more bloodshot, and more than one fire happens without no explanation.

Annabeth didn't stop crying for a second - even throughout Will's examination of her and her brother - for at least 12 hours. Then she crashed for another 12 hours - and when Annabeth woke up, she was enraged.

She is going to bring the damned statue back to Camp - and then she will kick her mother's ass. That's her best friend, not collateral damage.

And when her dumbass of a best friend comes back, Annabeth is going to kick his ass too. How dare he fall - for her, not even his closest friend - into freaking Tartarus?

Frank is devastated - he and Piper are coping by planning the future - how they can spend the summer at Camp and live in Nova Roma, how they'll visit Perseus if he decides to go to college in the mortal world. It feels a little like denial.

Hazel and Jason are coping in the totally opposite way. Where Leo and Nico are fueling themselves with determination, Annabeth is anger personified and the other two went in the road of negation - they're both in a deep state of panic.

The sea became too dangerous to travel - the tides answering to Jason's turbulent emotions - and any metal on board keeps exploding or becoming so fueled with energy that no one but Nico and Hazel can touch it.

They pray together - for Neptune, Jupiter, Pluto, Letum, any god that Perseus ever helped (a lot of them) - for his protection. Jason holds evening prayers - just like in Nova Roma - and they offer anything, everything, for Percy to be alive. Everyone goes.

Except for Will, who is in a whole other league. The moment that he arrived at Camp, Percy was the one to settle him, and calm him, and take care of him. It was a side of him no other person in this ship had ever seen - Nico got in Camp in the worst timing possible, and all the others were pretty independent when they met Perseus.

But Will remembers - the nights with hot chocolate, Percy's warm sweaters, a pair of blue gloves messing his hair, the anxiety when the boy left for school, just for him to keep IMing Will every evening - and he misses Percy.

After the Labyrinth, the war, the losses, they reconnected - the prejudices against Percy's parentage long gone - and it felt like nothing ever changed.

It was Percy who helped him coming out for his mother. It was Percy that held Will after he lost Sibele - a daughter of Momus - to her injuries. It was Percy, always Percy.

Percy is much more of a father then Apollo - and much better as a brother then some of Will's siblings. So Will just locks himself up in his infirmary - and grieves. It's weird in such a hard mission to remember that Will is just fifteen and that he is a veteran of war.

The mood lingers, even when they start fighting regularly against the Apennines - and isn't this a whole other mess.

The mountain spirits are pissed - because Hades/Pluto and his wife are really pissed. It's Malcolm - the only one with a phone and a good connection to the internet - that tells them that the world started having earthquakes every few days.

The mortals are confused because most of these are not even close to the tectonic plates - and none of those cause turmoil at the sea. It's just Hades - mightly pissed his only son is beyond even his reach.

Three days in fighting the Ourae - who don't like having their mountains shaken over and over again - the sky also starts thundering. Coincidentally, it's July 30th - they've been traveling for twenty-two days - which also marks Thesmophoria - the greek festival of harvest.

But, alas, nothing is blooming. Persephone is as dangerous as her husband - and Demeter seems to follow her daughter's lead. With the Earth corrupted - the crops aren't growing.

Jason doesn't blame his matron - he is not really happy himself. Besides praying for Perseus' safety, he spends most of his days in patrol against boulders and rocks of all things.

Leo barely sleeps - too busy keeping the ship from falling apart - and Nico is, most of the time, right behind him keeping the ship steady. They try using canons and fail miserably. There's no way to fight against mountains - it's like Dom Quixote fighting against the windmills.

The others, even Will, rotate between fighting rocks and sleeping. Four days after Thesmophoria, Leo decides it's enough, turns the ship around, and solves to not cross the Apennines.

He just hopes Perseus can last another seven days.

Hazel - the only one awake, because this is supposed to be her patrol and Leo finds her the most reasonable out of all their friends, who would probably insist on keep fighting the freaking mountains - is praying. Like always.

Leo doesn't know how he feels about praying. His extended family was very catholic - they prayed for a god that they couldn't see or touch. But Leo met the gods - or, if Annabeth is to be believed, one set of them - and he doesn't like them.

They're petty children who have no care for the fate of their children - the ones who fight for them, go on their errands, keep them alive, y'know. Leo doesn't want to praise them. He doesn't think they deserve it.

But Hazel's prayers are answered when her venti, Tempest, appears aboard. Hazel tells Leo to go on without her - she'll be back soon.

He is concerned for her - like always. Of all new people, Leo seems to be the closest to her - his overall cheeriness and electric behavior are endearing to her, a light in these dark times. Sometimes, his smile makes her flush - just like Frank's did and still does.

Hazel mounts Tempest and the venti takes her, through mountains and hills, to a door. There's mist curling at her ankles and a chill in her spine.

She isn't very thrilled by meeting Trivia - Hazel heard stories of her greek son by Perseus, who seemed to hold the guy in high standard, but she knows gods. The goddess of magic wants something.

Trivia is an imposing woman - taller than Hazel, she has the same midnight skin as Perseus, though hers looks purple-ish, and her eyes are entire universes - stars bloom in her irises and twin moons rise in her pupils.

The goddess is fickle - she seems to be there and not, at the same time. Ghostly. There's three of them, then one, then five.

Trivia beacons to the daughter of Jupiter and she follows, the cursed little girl she is. The goddess offers her three options: Perseus, prone in the ground as she, Leo, and Annabeth battle an invisible foe, the two demigod installments at war, or the Argo II.

Hazel chooses the Argo II, but she promises herself, and the goddess, that she will save Perseus, and that no demigod blood will be spilled by other demigod's hand. Not again.

She will learn how to control the Mist. But Trivia is very mistaken if she thinks Hazel is going to become her acolyte. She remembers well what happened last time - she died.

The Argo II is traveling without much hassle - when they're crossing Monte Falterona, in the Campigna National Park, they are attacked by a new mountain spirit - and this one talks.

"Get Pluto his brat back, you useless halflings!"

Like the boulders the immortal is throwing at them will help. Leo screams this back at the mountain, who is not impressed at all.

Their next foe is in San Marino - a chimera. Most popular knowledge is wrong about those monsters: chimeras are not just goat-lion-snake mixes. They are an amalgamation of any three or more animals.

This one, in particular, is a very... candid mix of a Pyrenean chamois, a monk-seal, a mouflon, and a goose. Not very lethal or hazardous - just very angry. It's the first time they hear Annabeth laugh since Perseus fell.

While Malcolm is chasing and being chased around by an evil goat-goose-seal-weirdass deer chimera that he is fending off with an encyclopedia, the others can't even bring themselves to help. It's ridiculous - the thing is not even big. It's just ugly and it sounds like a honking clown.

Eventually, they get around to killing the clown chimera - it honks as it vanishes - and following route to Bologna. Frank tries to mutate to the chimera during the travel - to different levels of failure - which makes everyone laugh.

Thanks to their two encounters, the crew gets to Bologna at two in the afternoon.

Frank can't help counting the days as they pass him by. He is not the only one - he can see Annabeth muttering the time every now and then - but it feels like a countdown. Can Perseus survive one more week in Tartarus?

Even with the pressing worry for his lost friend, he can't stop thinking about Hazel and Leo. The two of them are thick as thieves - and Frank wants in.

But he knows it's wrong - Leo is a boy. Hazel is younger. Leo bares a power that could kill him. Hazel is his best friend. They're two people. - but he sees them flirting and can't keep his eyes to himself.

It's wrong. Soldiers aren't supposed to date men. Men who dated men are prostitutes, entertainers. Less. And two people at the same time? Outside of a bedroom? Preposterous.

Frank wishes he was more like Perseus. Perseus is all about duty: he would eventually marry Reyna. Or Annabeth, or other pretty and intelligent warrior, and have two point five kids with a picket fence.

But no. Here he is - midday, they are stopping for lunch, and he can't keep his eyes off Leo and Hazel - who are quietly chatting in the other end of the long table.

Frank ponders what would they think. Would the two be repulsed? Would they laugh at him? He can deal with laughter. Their disgust, however, would cut his heart in half.

Nico is in a very similar, and yet completely different, situation. He has been in love - or as close as love could be when you never dated the person - with Perseus Jackson.

He knows it's okay to be gay - he is friends with Will and Jake. He lives on CHB since he was a pre-teen. Perseus himself was - is - queer.

But the thing is, he'll never have a chance with him. Not the chance he is longing for gods know how long. He failed Perseus yet again - he let the demigod fall.

Perseus can have anyone. Perfect Annabeth Chase, Shrewd Reyna Arellano, Magic Alabaster Torrington, anyone. And he wouldn't have a problem with that - no. The problem is that he can't make a choice. Because he is in Tartarus.

Because Nico. Let. Him. Fall.

He isn't even sure if he let Perseus fall on purpose. A part of his mind knew someone would have to go. It was always meant to be Perseus. Did he purposefully let him go?

The rational part of his mind knew that if he tried to fly them off, all he would accomplish is falling into Tartarus with Perseus, probably dragging Annabeth with them.

But the guilt creeps into his heart - again, yet again, Perseus suffers for something he did or failed to do. He can't sleep. He doesn't know how anyone can eat.

A rock for him in these difficult times has been Jason. The son of Neptune seems to be as affected as Hazel or Annabeth - but Nico would never be able to rely on them.

Hazel has her own problems - a lot of them since Trivia appeared - and Annabeth is a painful reminder of everything Nico is unable to have.

Jason, however, is different. They had dreams of each other - something about their conquests, Nico didn't pay attention - and that apparently brought them close. Jason, differently from Annabeth, isn't a competition. He isn't vying for Percy's attention and love.

He is just a close friend - like Nico pretends to be most of the time - incredibly worried about the son of Hades. Nico would tell Jason about how he feels - but the militar roman's sensibilities might not be adjusted to the greeks' freedom yet.

Nico, however, is also not the only one with heart problems. Piper finds himself entranced by Annabeth Chase - even when she knows, she knows because of her powers, that Annabeth is painfully straight.

And Piper knows it's not love - it's the heat of the upcoming war and the hormones of being cooped up with just other teenagers for twenty days. She sees the blossoms of young lovers everywhere.

The yearning between Leo, Hazel, and Frank; Nico and Jason unconsciously sharing long-term crushes on Perseus; Will missing Jake and his parental figure;

She wishes she was more like Malcolm. Malcolm is asexual - besides being the only other transexual person on board.

Before this war spiked from nothing, the boy was just back from his mission for Hermaphroditus - a two-month search for a missing choker. He is still adapting to his body - it's bigger and broader and he doesn't have to wear a binder. Piper thinks it's amazing - he tells her it isn't that easy.

It's not a slow transition. One second your body is something - and then it isn't. One morning, the demigod caught him holding a red binder in his hands. Sometimes, she sees a shot of testosterone tucked in his pocket.

One day, he was a boy stuck in a girl's body. Then, he wasn't anymore. He has the body he dreamed of for forever - and it's difficult accepting it. Malcolm tells her is not exactly body dysphoria - is just difficult to conciliate.

Piper thinks after this, she'll get her body. After all of this, she deserves it - her body, all hers, with boobs and a killer jawline. Maybe then, it'll be easier to like girls as well. Maybe then, she'll shave half of her head and get a piercing. And maybe, a couple of tattoos.

But while this doesn't happen, she is whining to her asexual friend about her crush in his sister. Malcolm crushes her with logic - "Annabeth has only shown interest in men. She might be bi or pan or even a lesbian, but the odds aren't on your favor" - and she tries to put the blonde out of her mind.

Lunch, however, is a little ridiculous for her. As a daughter of love herself, that table is such a mess of yearning and pining and infatuations.

Malcolm seems to be the only rational - but even he is a little flushed. Piper totally saw that picture of Mitchell in his drawer last week.

She couldn't blame him really - her brother is hot. All demigods are - in very different ways of course, but their godly blood made them more or less otherworldly compared to mortals. Didn't matter their ethnicity, their gender, if they're disabled or not - they are all hot.

Piper, however, doesn't spend all her time freaking over hot people. She is a teenager with a friend who has a good connection to the internet, so she does that a lot - but most of her time these days is looking at Katoptris.

She's waiting for a vision of Perseus. Anything - just proof that he is alive, that he hasn't curled in a ball on whatever is the ground down there and went mad.

It doesn't come. She is looking at this ridiculous lunch table, eating vegetarian burgers, and waiting. Just as it seems like her dagger starts glowing gold - two monkey twins sweep down and steal it. And Leo's tool belt and Archimedes' Sphere.

Piper is really pissed. She wants this mission to end - she wants to find Perseus and stop Gaea, and that's her magical item. It's important. So she and Leo go after the twin monkeys.

Using one of the armory's javelin - for lack of a better option - they sprint over roofs and marketplaces. Bologna is a beautiful city - but they have no time.

They corner the twin monkeys, get their things back - and some things pertaining to a god of harvest - Triptolemus. Perhaps if they make an offer to him, Demeter and Persephone will be more cooperative. Maybe Persephone will be able to calm her husband.

Piper really doubts it. If she learned anything in the nineteen days she traveled with Perseus, is that he calls Persephone "Kore" or "Mater". The only other person he refers to with such open childish joy is his own mother, Sally.

The guy IMed both of them twice a week - enough that Piper knows their voices. While Hades isn't high in the demigod's list of people, his wife seemed to be at least number #2.

But they go back to the ship and relay their plan anyway. They set route to Venice. In the hour that it takes them to get there, they're delayed twice: once by the personification of River Ádige - which enabled them to pass until Jason helped with a small problem - and then by a couple of ventis - which Hazel sent off.

Frank, Annabeth, Hazel and Nico venture into the drowned city - Piper declines to go, saying that she is waiting for Katoptris to cooperate - being Nico the only one who actually speaks Italian in the ship.

The city is infested with anteater-like herbivorous monsters called katoplebones, which are pointedly not from the Greek pantheon. It's pretty rare for monsters to cross pantheons - and the Egyptians are pretty good in keeping them under lock and key - but sometimes, this happens.

They aren't capacitated to deal with those. Annabeth has half a mind to call the Kanes and demand an explanation. Pretty sure they were possessed by the gods to avoid this kind of situation.

She doesn't have much time to think - Hazel is quickly overwhelmed by the poisonous breath of the cows. Of course - is there anything in Egypt that isn't connected to snakes?

They find Triptolemus - who is not thrilled with their presence. Demeter - his mistress - and her daughter are distraught by Perseus' missing status - and he blames Annabeth and Nico for it.

Annabeth tries to persuade him - after all, they have Jason on board, and he is blessed by Ceres. Triptolemus - a very greek god - is not swayed.

"Your trickster words shall not fool me, daughter of Athena."

That's how Annabeth became a rosemary bush - good for memory and brainpower. Nico, when he tried to fight back, became a corn crop.

Mars is whispering in Frank's mind - he is not really fond of his father but uses his help to kill the evil Egyptian cows and get a python for the god's chariot.

He can't let Hazel die. He can't see the light go off her eyes - to see the same pain reflected in Leo's eyes. But Frank is so using Nico's stunt as a corn plant as blackmail material later. Not with Annabeth thought - she would stab him.

Triptolemus, pleased, turns Nico and Annabeth back to human and heals Hazel. Then, he tells them they have to eat barley cakes - so they can survive the poison needed to enter the house of the dead.

Proceeding south down the Adriatic toward Greece, a journey that should take about half a day, the crew of the Argo II is first accosted in Koper - a city on the coast of Slovenia - by four monocerus in the middle of the night.

Monocerus, in Leo's very succinct explanation, are "evil unicorns with big feet that can't fly and shouldn't be in a flying ship".

Whoever, the monsters apparently don't care where they should or not be - and Annabeth - still reeling for her time as rosemary - takes two of them out, keeping the horns as a prize. Nico takes one, who is so beat that leaves nothing, and Malcolm kills one with a handgun.

It's not the most practical weapon, because celestial bronze is not that easy to fabricate/find/obtain - so to use it in bullets that will explode and render it unusable it's kind of a desperate - but it's the first thing he could get - Malcolm's double tessen was being repaired by Leo.

Because yes - not only was the twenty years old able to fight with normal blades, he also fights with freaking fans made of iron.

After the run-in with the evil unicorns - Annabeth looks really cool covered in gold blood and curved silver horns in her hands - they proceed across Croatia.

It goes well for about thirty minutes - in Zadar, they cross paths with Sciron. Sciron is a bandit and outlaw, who - for some reason, is assisted by a giant predatory sea turtle.

While Hazel tricks him into throwing himself off the cliff using her new-discovered Mist, Jason talks to the turtle. It says its name is Chelone - that it's the turtle who took Aphrodite Ourania from the depths of the sea to the shores of Cythera - when she was still young, with remains of other goddesses in her anima - Innana and Ishtar.

He convinces the turtle to stop killing people - mainly by saying that he should hunt elsewhere, deeper onto the sea. It may become a problem for his father, but Jason has bigger issues right now.

They go to sleep, and Hazel dreams. She expects any god to come - but who comes to her is none other than Pluto and his wife, Proserpina.

Proserpina is shrouded in black, and her eyes are not green - but yellowish, like dead leaves. She talks - and tells Hazel that the Doors of Death are in the bottom of the Necromanteion - her powers over metal energy would guide her - and will be guarded by Pasiphae, vengeful of Pluto - and, by default, Perseus - for the lack of punishment for Minos.

Her husband is a silent presence by her side. He is not in mourning... probably. It's difficult to tell, as he is always in black. But his eyes hold a weight easy for Hazel to understand - he just lost a son to the abyss. No matter that Perseus might be alive - he wouldn't get back whole and safe.

Proserpina ends her dream by telling her to wake up Piper - the goddess is putting all her strength to send a vision of Perseus to Katoptris - they need one much more than her, seeing that they are able to interfere.

What Piper sees don't tell them a lot - Perseus seems mostly okay, with some sort of companion that Nico says it might be Iapetus, a brand new scar over his face and a bad limp.

It's the last they'll see of him until their eventual meeting face to face, but it gives them hope.

Annabeth herself has a dream - a dream that the Romans give the statue to the greeks. She sends an iris message to Rachel - so she can meet personally with Reyna.

Reyna, on the other side of the world, mounts her pegasus, Scipio, and leaves. Not only her co-praetor is in freaking Tartarus, but they are on the verge of two simultaneous wars. They need peace.

As soon as she is out of the roman range, however, she sends an iris message to Jason - telling him to go to their hero's place of rest - she had a vision from Mars. That she will meet them in Greece. Jason tells Leo to set course for Split, in Croatia. There's a roman scepter there.

Of all of them, the most capacitated for this mission are Frank and Jason, who are both educated Romans, and Nico, who can fly - a very good power to have in unstable ruins.

They're confronted by Favonious, who takes them to his master, Cupid, in Dalmatia. Nothing good can come of talking to the personification of love - such an old concept that the god has been reborn twice.

"Well, well, well"

"What do we have here?"

Jason falls onto the ground - "You think you found true love, haven't you? But alas, I was where you last expected me" - and he hates love, for that single moment.

"I shall give you what you want, Romans, if each of you is able to tell me - who do you love the most?"

Nico trembles - guilt is a difficult pill to swallow - and Frank visibly wants to bolt out of there.

"Oh, are you afraid? But there's no hiding in the face of true love"

Jason - always the brave one - gives a look at Frank. His friend never met the greeks. He might hate Jason after this.

But they need this scepter.

"Perseus Jackson"

Two heads whips in his direction - one unbelievingly, and the other distressed.

"Ah, love crafted in dreams - the perfect mix between me and my wife. Tell me, Jason Grace, was it bad when he looked upon you and saw naught but a myth?"

A laugh creeps upon Jason's spine, and he turns around. His blade hits something hard, and he is on the floor again.

"Such luck, to be able to even graze love. Perhaps yours is the purest of all - not yet tainted by failures and mistakes. On that note, why don't you go next, Nico di Angelo?"

Nico shivers - he... they have no time for that. That is unnecessary drama - to cause unnecessary problems.

A memory rushes to the front of Jason's mind - that quick chat with Reyna in Nova Roma. "The blond girl, Di Angelo"

Nico loves Perseus. It rushes to Jason now - the way that the younger boy stared adoringly at the son of Hades. The drunkness of his lovesick gaze. The despair when Perseus fell.

"Tell them Nico di Angelo" Cupid prompts "Tell them all about your guilt, your mistakes, the way you let him down, again and again, and again."

Nico floats a little off the ground. It's years of pain and sorrow that won't bring Perseus back.

"Will you fly off yet again, in the face of rivalry? Will you be my next servant - just like Favonious, consumed by jealousy, Nico di Angelo?"

Jason sees the memories. Nico screaming at Perseus. Grover reluctantly telling him about their adventures. The way he betrayed Percy - and a dozen more scenes he never saw from Nico's perspective, only Percy's, that made him unable to speak.

"It's okay Nico... I.... I get it."

It's painful to utter these words - it's almost like he is giving up Perseus. But they have a war to get through - and then, when the other demigod is back, they can figure this out.

"P-Perseus Jackson"

And then it's Frank's turn. But Frank is as pale as a ghost - he seems to be close to vomiting.

"It's a costly thing isn't it, looking at the true face of love. Now it's the turn of the brave son of Mars. Will you tell your friends easily, or shall you be a coward like the son of Zeus?"

Frank doesn't talk. Jason doesn't understand why - it's Hazel, isn't it? Is it because of Nico? He mentions talking to the son of Zeus, but Di Angelo doesn't look at him - the Cupid knew very well how to play his game.

"Come on. Tell them - tell them of whom you think before you sleep and who dominates your first thoughts every morning."

"You don't scare me"

"Oh, I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest."

"H-Hazel. Levesque."

"That's just half my question, little half-blood. If you want to lead the roman legions, you must answer it fully."

"I love H-Hazel. She is the one I think before I sleep and when I wake up."

"Still hiding. You're not strong enough, Frank Zhang."

Frank tries to charge at the wind, but it just mocks him. It's weird seeing Frank crying - it looks like the world is crumbling at his feet.

Jason, yet again, doesn't understand. Nico is also confused - he looks between the Romans as if he never saw any of them before. But then it dawns on the son of Zeus.

"Not only my sister. That's why you keep gazing at them, isn't it?"

All the fighting and denial leave Frank at once. His sword clangs in the ground.

"I love both Hazel and Leo. Together." He spits out, still trembling. "That's the truth. Are you happy now?"

"I wouldn't say Love always makes you happy. It can make you incredibly sad, sometimes. But you have faced it now. It's the only true way to conquer me."

Cupid appears - in a flash of white wings. It might be the god Jason hates the most - his eyes seem to penetrate his very soul. There's a scepter in his hand.

"Only a true child of Mars Ultor can yield it. It's your destiny, Frank Zhang."

Then he promptly disappears. The demigods look at each other - there's a flurry of emotions deep inside their chests. Frank looked at both of them, waiting for an attack, or for them to start fighting.

"No one has to know" He starts "I'm s-so-..."

He doesn't end. There are copious tears rolling through his face - his cheeks are a deep shade of red. A sob escapes his throat.

"P-please, p-pleased-don't t-te-tell anyone." Frank sobs, and it's such a jarring sight that both Nico and Jason rally to reassure him, leaving their own issues aside.

"There's nothing wrong with loving two people at once. No one will have a problem with it, Frank - fuck, this isn't Nova Roma. Most of us are greek."

"Hazel would hate me though. This is unnatural- I- I can't."

"You don't know that. Hazel loves you, Frank"

But the son of Mars just keeps crying until they both promise not to tell another soul what they saw. It's enough for the weird atmosphere to return.

Midway in the trek back to the ship - a six-hour walk - Nico is too riled up to safely fly with two people and none of them being too fond of air right now - Frank summons enough power to ask the question.

"So... uh... hm... Perseus?... like, uh, I can see the appeal-... but... both?... forget I asked, just....uh oh, sorry."

Jason and Nico pointedly avoid looking at each other. It's very bizarre - Jason knows a lot about Perseus, but now he knows Perseus also from Nico's perspective - and this is all messy.

They go back to the ship, relay to Annabeth that they got the scepter, and immediately go back to their cabins - to cry, to scream, to think.

It's been a day and a half - and they're still eleven hours off Epirus. Leo is pissed - because not only their three heavy-hitters are pissed at something and won't communicate, and they're of course.

Emerging from the infirmary for something other than to eat and mend people is finally Will - at least. He takes patrol in place of Nico - the boy quietly mumbled at his friend that they had a run-in with Cupid. Will can imagine how that went.

He doesn't have a clue about Frank - but Jason and Nico? They have the same long-lasting crush on Perseus - everyone on board knows that. Except, apparently, for each other. And Perseus - because his mentor/kind of brother/bother figure is a dumbass.

When they're passing through the coast of Albany, they're attacked by Khione - who is still very pissed her ex-lover's son doesn't want to spend eternity frozen with her. Leo ends up being sent away - for the distress of both Hazel and Frank and the anger of his best friends, Piper and Jason.

Piper ends up stabbing Khione - while Frank transforms into the giant dragon and burns her - making her unable to freeze them. Eventually, she runs away.

Leo, however, wakes up on an island. There's a sad girl at his side - she is using a modern blue dress, and there's a crown of black flowers upon her head.

"You were not the one I was expecting."

The son of Hephaestus wants to scream. Well, he didn't want to be whatever here is either! But her face is so sad - her gaze down to her bare feet. She seemed to be crying. He settles for asking who is her.

"I... I am sorry. My name is Calypso. This is Ogygia."

It startles him. Mainly because he has heard this name before around camp - wasn't she supposed to be freed?

"What happened to you?"

The immortal girl relays her tale - how she got freed for a year, and then the war started. The gods - Zeus - didn't trust her not to turn against them. So they locked her up - she was not the only one. Leto, Themis, Rhea - good titans or their offspring. Locked away.

She, after a year of freedom that Perseus got her, was back into her old shackles. Calypso is waiting for him for months now - but she thinks he forgot her.

So Leo tells her what happened - the bits he knows anyway. Juno/Hera, Nova Roma, the mission. Calypso seems calmer. They stay together for a while - friends it seems.

Calypso tells him about her year - about how she wanted to explore the world. She tells him she wanted to join Artemis' hunt - but, courtesy of Odysseys, she is no maiden.

He tells her about Hazel and Frank, Perseus, and the love hexagons he doesn't even know he is in - omitting the part that he is now in Tartarus. They talk about Festus - Calypso tells him about how his father is good to hear - how he came to visit, sometimes.

A week passes, maybe a week and a half. Leo vows to take Calypso off the island once the war ends, and she believes - once, a hero as brave as Leo made her the same promise, and stuck with it through the end.

In Cancun, Africa, Jason and Nico are having daily audiences with Auster, the Roman god of the south wind, in connection with the Seven being able to proceed on their way to Epirus - seeing that their ship is all broken and they have no Leo.

Auster is indolent and seems increasingly disinclined to cooperate with Jason and Nico: he dislikes the son of Zeus, and the wind never had a good relationship with the sea. Annabeth also tries her hand at it - but it's rebuffed at every turn. Piper is prohibited from entering the palace because of her magic voice.

Jason and Nico - even though they aren't speaking to each other - have for a long time admitted they don't fit completely at either camp. Jason is still too militar for CHB. Nico is too old for CHB. Both are too free with their personal lives for Nova Roma.

Auster agrees to meet with them and tells them to commit to one side - greek or roman. They deny it - they're both. The gods are both, they have been thrust in a war of both sides, they commune with gods on both aspects and they ask them to run errands for both pantheons. They have the right to be both.

Auster is not happy with this - mainly because he believes they should keep the sides separated. But it's the first time Nico and Jason agree on something - and they fight together for it. No god has the right to define those petty things when the demigods are fighting their war.

Auster merges with his greek counterpart Notus - an amalgamation of both his carefree and his militar side - and sends The Seven on their way when coerced by the threat of a hurricane and a typhoon.

He sends them to Valletta, Malta, where they find the Argo II fully repaired and in the harbor. In the port, on a small cafe, there's Leo - sitting and raging internally against the gods, who once again, fucked up something.

They trade stories, and Leo just rages more. He isn't sure how Perseus didn't ally himself with Kronos in the first war if that was the bullshit he had to deal with every day.

First Khione, then Zeus locking Calypso up, then this Notus guy - they are a week and a half late. Is Perseus still alive after nineteen days in the Pit? Is he sane? Did he tried to get out - and they weren't there?

It's with a shocking gasp from Annabeth that they realize that Perseus's birthday is in three days. They have been traveling together for thirty-seven days now - and they have to get Perseus out of Tartarus before the 18th, at least. Is the minimum.

It takes them a day to get to Epirus. There are enough monsters in their way to start a menagerie - Gaea is actively trying to stall them, so there must be a reason. Perseus might be alive.

Arriving at the Necromanteion, which they learn is just a very fancy name for catacombs, Hazel, Frank, Leo, Annabeth, Will, and Piper descend into the ruins, leaving Nico and Jason - who are both completely useless under the earth - behind with Malcolm - who, since Arachne, is pretty much claustrophobic.

They eat the barley cakes to protect themselves against the toxic potion they must drink in order to enter the temple. It's difficult to swallow poison - it burns as it goes down.

The mist tries to confuse them at every turn - Hazel diverts it. Her power over metal energy guides them - she can feel the basis of the building, way down where they are.

Katoptris burns in Piper's hand. It shows her Perseus' face - he looks cadaveric, shrouded in death. Sometimes he flickers, like a ghost - but he is alive, and heading to the Doors just like they are.

It's enough to spur them forward. Perseus is doing the same journey - from a much difficult side. They will meet in the middle.

Earthquakes strike the caverns, making part of the floor collapse. In a side, Piper and Will, surrounded by monsters in all sides. In the other, Frank, Leo, Hazel and Annabeth. The son of Mars doesn't think twice - the scepter.

He uses the Scepter of Diocletian to summon ghostly Roman soldiers, and as a Legatus Legionis, he does have the power to command all of them. It would be more controlled if he was Praetor, but the actual Praetor is Perseus, and so, in his absence, Frank will have to do.

The tunnel collapses. Hazel. Leo. They might be dead - but Frank can't panic right now. They are alive. They will protect each other, they have Annabeth Chase with them. Hazel controls the mist - everything will be just fine.

Anger grew in his chest. Those are his friends, his... his loved ones. This freaking ruin don't get to kill them before Frank summons enough courage to submit himself to the ridiculousness of telling them.

Hazel wants to cry - they left Frank behind. He might be dead - they might be all dead. Leo isn't much better. For all that Zhang seems to hate him, his infatuation with the Canadian never disappeared.

Annabeth however, is practical. She tells them Frank will be fine - the guy can transform into a dragon. Or a chimera. Probably a poisonous one, after the stunt in Venice. He has an army - it's okay.

Pasiphae is a bitch. Leo hates the woman - she reminds him of Aunt Rosa. Or Juno. Or Lady Muddy herself. He and Annabeth let Hazel do the majority of the talking - but both of them bristle as the Doors shake.

An unauthorized presence. Perseus actually did it - they have twelve minutes, in accord to Annabeth - who Leo knows better than to doubt - to open the Doors. Or he is dead, lost forever.

"It's a pity Gaea needs a son of the Earth and a daughter of the Sea... But none of you are children of the Underworld or the ocean, are you? Not even the acolyte of Trivia."

Everything indicates that she'll open the door herself - but Annabeth can't risk she whisking Perseus away to Gaea before they can reach him. So she sneaks past with her cap while they fight.

Pasiphae goes down to Hazel's illusions. Annabeth opens the Doors, before cutting the chains as Hazel and Leo distract Clytius. Perseus stumbles out, a giant tiger in his heels.

Leo didn't think he would ever see a harsher picture. The tall boy was still muscular - but gaunt as if he hadn't eaten since the fall. There were scars everywhere.

He couldn't look more - Clytius is threatening Perseus, but both Annabeth and the tiger stay in his way. Trivia appears - but they aren't truly winning until Piper, Will, and Frank are able to reach them through Hazel's magic.

Will goes immediately to Perseus' side - there's panic in his eyes. Leo can't see much this far - he hopes the son of Hades isn't dead. Piper and Frank fight alongside them. Annabeth is still hovering protectively over her best friend's prone body.

There's not much need for help - between Hazel and Trivia, the bulk of Clytius powers are unusable. The shared power of Piper (love is never where you expect it), Frank (and his undead soldiers), a very angry Annabeth, and Leo is just overkill.

They win. Will is feeding Perseus ambrosia - there's something really wrong because there are tear tracks in the blonde's face. Leo comes closer - their friends follow.

Perseus is destroyed. He looks like he has been through hell - there's a scar crossing his face and his eyes are sunken in. But that's not where it stops.

Leo's gaze goes down, to the ragged clothes that are barely recognizable - the sweatpants he was convinced to wear to go underground, the once-green sweater - and sees what is missing.

Where Perseus' leg once was, there's a metal one. The boy is curled in the fetal position - his metal leg sticks out like a sore thumb, and it looks like he might cry if he wasn't so dehydrated. The tiger nudges its head against the boy's leg and growls at them, but it doesn't attack.

"I... I can't touch him. I touched him and he started panicking... I... We have to take him back to the ship. He is stable, but..."

Frank picks up Perseus in a bride-carry - a month ago, he wouldn't be able to do it. But now, he is stronger - and Perseus must weight ninety pounds wet.

The tiger follows - when they cross to the daylight, they can see it's not a normal tiger. Annabeth - with a distraught look in her face - tells them it's a skeleton tiger. Probably a saber-tooth.

They go back on board - Piper goes up to call Nico, so he can fly Perseus into the ship. He does, but the expression in his face is so crushing Leo almost wishes they had delayed it by destroying property and landing the ship on the street.

The mood of the ship is yet again somber. No one wants to leave the infirmary - but Will forces them to rotate, so as to not overwhelm Perseus. Hypocrite - he is living in there.

Leo, Malcolm, and Piper - the least close to Percy, even though they are friends - let the others take the bulk of the shifts. Annabeth, Nico, and Jason almost get into blows about it - she wins on the fact that she knows Perseus longer.

It's difficult to IM both Rachel - who is a minute away from depression since he fell - and Lady Persephone. It's even harder to tell Sally - they leave the task to Annabeth.

They harbor for two days, waiting for Reyna. She appears from the sky during dinnertime - her horse has to be euthanized almost immediately after a run with the spirit mountains.

They talk - and end up deciding that she will take the statue back to Camp with Malcolm, the most resourceful out of them. Percy would be the logical solution - taking him out of Gaea's reach - but the son of Hades would probably be unable to shadow travel so soon.

While this happens, the others will set course to Athens - to stop Gaea and destroy the Giants. For now, they eat.

Midway through their meal, Will comes into the board - everyone knows what it means. Perseus is awake - on his birthday to boot. They take their food to the infirmary - to see the boy looking at the ceiling.

He gives them a faint smile, but no one misses the way he curls into himself any time there's someone a little too close. Perseus relays his tale - it's heavily edited, Annabeth can tell.

But he tells them about the leg - but not how he lost it - about the tiger - the name is Small Bob, but he doesn't talk about Bob - and about the firewater - but not how he got the injuries.

Small Bob never leaves Perseus's side. The demigod insists that he wants to go outside - he ate enough ambrosia and drank enough nectar that even some of his scars are gone. Not the one in his face though. Will let him go - but Annabeth thinks that he just asked out of courtesy.

He doesn't have green eyes anymore - they darkened to a point they can't distinguish his pupil. They observe as he sits calmly in the deck, metal leg sticking out, and strokes the head of the tiger, who is acting more or less like a giant house cat.

None of them miss the tracks of tears across his face, or the look he gives the night sky - it's bittersweet.

"Bob says hello"

58 notes · View notes

mariesdameron · 3 years

Text

Marie Sackler & Clyde Logan (KillersmileClyde) Part II

TW: Drinking, Vulgar language, Emotional distress

Word Count: 2,840

Backstory:

Marie and Clyde have been friends for quite a while. This takes place in Marie Sackler Personal Au RP story line that has Marie, single and on her own. Marie and Clyde have been nursing feelings for a long time but something always interrupts any action from progressing.

Sidenote: Marie Sackler’s full maiden name is Anne ‘Marie’ Williams.

This is an ongoing roleplaying scene between @mariesackler & @killersmileclyde

You can read Part I here

Clyde:

You stopped. Even better... you came back. Maybe I hadn't entirely fucked this up beyond repair. I hear your words, "please...what.. ?" echo in my head and I'm still at a loss for words. You know me and I know you but somehow we had wandered down the path to ruin.

Marie... I don't know what to say... I'm sorry isn't enough. I hate this. Hate what I've done... what I can't take back.

My grief slowly turns back to anger. Anger at myself. Anger at you for making me feel this way. I wipe my face dry and put on the mask I wear every day; the mask that shows everything is fine, nothing wrong is going on behind the scenes. I was broken. You broke me.

As I rose to stand, my walls were built back up I dunno what else to say... I just... I turn and walk behind the bar, grabbin' a bottle of Maker's Mark and pour a heavy-handed serving over ice and take a long drink.

Marie:

I take a deep breath; my heart is in pieces. I thought maybe we were getting somewhere for one second, but here we are at the beginning. I resist the urge to scream. I want to tear him apart until the Clyde that I know and love is bare for me to hold; I always get close but never close enough for him to wrap his arms around me and let me in. I can see it in the way his body tenses with each movement. I stand in silence, trying to process what to do next. Do I leave? Do I walk out this man that I have called a dear friend for years? Do I burn this fucking bar to the ground? I walk to the end of the bar, keeping myself in line with the exit. When I open my mouth, my voice shakes.

Remember your cousin's wedding that I went with you to a few summers ago? I remember it perfectly. I can still smell the fresh wildflowers, all the vibrant colors of a country wedding.

I remember how everyone looked at us that day. You were so handsome in your suit. I drank too many glasses of wine. You poked and prodded at me all night, teasing me for being a lightweight. I thought for sure that was the night. So many people kept coming up to me, telling me how we were the best couple. And then you pulled me into that slow dance.

I huff back tears at how vivid the memory plays out in my mind. You held me so close. I shake my head and look up at the ceiling. And then, you dropped me off with a kiss on the cheek. Day's later, you happily sent a text that you were off on a hiking trip with a new cute patron that had been hanging around the bar. I ball my hands into fists. I hate how pathetic I sound. I slam my hand down onto the bartop.

Fuck, Clyde...

Clyde:

My mind instantly flashes back to that night but I remember it much different than you do. I finish my drink before pouring more into my glass.

A'right... let's talk 'bout that night then. I work my mouth debating if I really want to open those wounds.

I was so happy to bring ya round the family. Jimmy loves ya already 'n I knew they'd be no different. I kept tellin' myself, we're only friends, nothin' else, stop lookin' into things that ain't there. But... I couldn't keep my hands off o'ya. It just felt so natural.

Ya made me feel good in a situation where I would refuse to go on my own. You... YOU had that power over me. I take a large gulp of my drink. And that dance. That was the single best memory I had since I left for the Marines.

There's a reason it's gone outta the jukebox now... have ya noticed? Prolly not but that's okay. Cause ya didn't notice how ya said his name on the way home. So that's why I kissed yer cheek instead of walkin' ya to the door like a gentleman. That's why I didn't push anything more.

That's why I sent ya the pic of me 'n some other chick cause I wanted you to feel what I felt. My hand swings between us with my words, emphasizing 'you' and 'I' while the alcohol sloshes over the sides of the glass.

Because while I was thinkin' of you, you were thinkin' about him. I down the rest of my drink to try and regain some composure.

Marie:

I shake my head as I receive his version of that night. I can't breathe. I stumble back and tread the empty bar. How could he? How could he even bring him up? I suffocate on my tears and put my hand up to signal for him to keep his distance.

Clyde...He broke my fucking heart, destroyed me. It took me so long... I choke. You think I wanted to go to a wedding? A fucking wedding? It hadn't been that long since everything blew up for me. And I went...for you. Because you are always a phone call or text away. How could I disappoint you?

I know how nervous you get at social functions and how badly your cousin wanted you to be there, how badly you wanted to be there. I barely could get out of bed most days... I WAS BROKEN! My words are shrill; I am suddenly the wounded animal that I was years ago.

I wasn't thinking of him that night... Everything became background noise when I saw you in that suit... I stammer over my thoughts; I need to breathe. My back slides down the wall, crouching I run my hands through my hair.

Sometimes, when you are with someone for a long time, their name slips out, casually... You would know that if you ever let anyone get close enough..

The words tumble from my lips before I can stop them. I stand up and clear my throat. I don't want this to be target practice. I can't... My mouth trembles.

You are too important to me for me to sit here and go-rounds with you like this... I've already had my heart destroyed once. The only reason I am standing here today is because of you, Clyde Logan. You. The light in you brought me out of the darkness that I was lost in...I almost gave up. I was drowning. You saved me.

Grabbing onto a nearby chair, I collapse into it; I put my head into my hands. Marie, you've done it again. You've fucked up. And like always, there is no one else to blame.

Clyde:

I was left speechless watching you break in front of me. You said I saved you and I just shattered every piece you had fought so hard to rebuild. I wouldn't be the man to destroy you. I put myself aside, realizing how important you are to me, feeling like a fool for not realizing it sooner.

I… Marie… whispers fuck… I grab a second glass with ice and walk over to the table with my bottle of Maker's Mark, placing down the glass and filling it up for you before pulling out the chair across the table.

Marie… we can't keep doin' this. I don't wanna keep doin' this. It's killin' me to see ya like this 'n knowin' it's my fault makes me sick. But I can't take it back and neither can you. What's done is done.

I pause for a few heavy breaths and you pull the glass to your lips, still resting your head in your left hand, refusing to look up from the table.

Why Marie? I'm talking more to myself at this point but continue with my thoughts out loud.

Why did we let it get this bad? Let it fester and rot until it killed both of us. I shake my head and take a drink. I shoulda said somethin' sooner. Should have acted on what I felt instead of feelin' sorry for myself… instead of pushin' ya away.

I don't wanna hurt ya by talkin' 'bout him, really I don't. But ya need to know how I feel… felt… fuck I dunno… to explain myself. Ya seemed so happy with him, like he was made just for you, checked off all the boxes on what ya wanted and needed in a man… all the things I couldn't be.

I tried to be happy for ya, I really did, but it hurt. It was just another reminder of how I'll never be good enough. Then er'rythin' happened and I saw the change in ya, how you pulled away from everyone and everything, how dark your mind and heart became.

As fucked up as it was, I thought I could be the one there for you, to help you through that tough time. I reached out but made sure not to overwhelm you. All I wanted was to hold you, wipe the tears from your eyes, show ya that there was still good in the world if you would just open up to it. I notice you shift in the chair but you still don't meet my gaze.

Then I asked ya to be my date to the wedding. I was scared ya wouldn't go or would bail last minute. Which woulda been fine, I'd rather sit with you on the couch eating and watching a movie than dress up in uncomfortable clothes and be outside in the summer heat sweating my ass off watching two other people in their happiness while I was miserable. But you said yes… and you were excited and that made me excited. I thought that it might be the night… to show you there was still good in the world.

The night was perfect. I mean… perfect You had a smile that wouldn't leave your face, you looked so damn good in that dress. I couldn't keep my hands offa ya and you didn't seem to mind one bit. Then I got the balls to ask you to dance. Y'know I hate dancing but you like it, you tried to get me on the floor all night. Once I was there, with you in my arms, I never wanted to leave.

The memory replays in my mind. ‘Amber Run - I Found’ played on the speakers, you pressed flat against me, your head resting on my chest with arms wrapped around my neck. I felt whole for the first time in a long time. We swayed back and forth, spinning in a slow circle and the lyrics burn into my brain.

"I found love where it wasn't supposed to be. Right in front of me. Talk some sense to me." My lips pressed against the crown of your head, wishing it was your lips instead.

The song ends and you look up at me and I thought this is it… then Jimmy drunkenly yells my name from the bar; telling me to show the bartender how to make a drink 'the right way.' and it was gone. I missed it. You just smiled back up at me and pulled me towards my brother.

I thought about walking you to your door, pushing your hair behind your ear, kissing you good night and every other cliche romantic thing you could imagine. But I missed that moment too. So now we are here. Both fuckin' broken and pissed off and hurt. I don't wanna stay like this. I'll tell ya anythin' ya wanna know. I'm done hidin'.

Marie:

I lift my chin, my eyes trace over the familiar lines in his face, the crease between his brow. I didn't need to look to know where every single freckle on that sweet's man face was; they had long been seared in my heart years ago. How many times had I witnessed that man smile, heard that rumbling, baritone chuckle from his chest, and ached to kiss his lips that are forever drawn into a pout. I lifted my glass and took a generous gulp; the whiskey stings as it glides down my throat. It was a needed distraction to the pulsating in my chest, aching in my mind.

I wipe the back of my hand across my face and sniffle. I know what I have to do, what I need to say. I am scared. I am terrified, to tell him that he is the only one who ticked off all the boxes, that I had let myself get lost in someone else. I tried to make a man fill a spot in my heart that could only be satisfied by the man sitting across me.

If I didn't ask now, I would walk out of this bar, and everything would change. He would never open up like this again; he would destroy himself, slam up those impenetrable walls, and retreat. I would lose him; the thought brought out a gasp from my lips. The idea of never being able to be held in Clyde Logan's safe arms was a blow to the gut.

I lock eyes with Clyde's and suck in my bottom lip and bite down. It's now or never. I gradually slide my hand across the table towards Clyde.

Are you in love with me? Because I can--t My voice quivers. I try to hold back my sobs but fail. I cannot do this if you aren’t...

Clyde:

The air was knocked from my chest and my heart stopped beating. Wh- what? I'm stammering over my words, my brain misfires as it tries to comprehend your question. How could you have any doubt that I am in love with you. Then I realize you are in denial as much as I am about what we feel, what's always been there just under the surface.

I had never put a name to the flutter in my heart in seeing you walk in the bar, the way my stomach churned, and how I hung on every word you said. Made sure all your favorite songs were in the jukebox and got every book you said you were reading. Everyone else was just a distraction, something to keep me from dwelling on the fact that you never would be mine. To help me accept that friendship was enough even though I knew it would never be enough, I would never be satisfied with just that.

I bite my lip, pulling your hand into mine, both metal and flesh, as I move around to kneel in front of you.

Anne Marie Williams, without a doubt, I love you. I am in love with you and I am a fool for not telling you sooner. For not spending every fuckin' moment I could with you. I won't make that mistake again.

Marie:

I've been waiting for these words from Clyde Logan for so long that it's too much when they hit my ears. I disintegrate. Sobbing, I slide down on to my knees in front of him. I run my hands into his chestnut waves and grip his face in my hands.

Listen to me, Clyde, you are amazing. Don't fight me on this. I firmly hold his head, desperate to keep his eyes on me.

You are smart. You are kind. You are not second to Jimmy. You are just as fucking handsome, shit! I think you are one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen, and you are just as whole and worthy of love as anybody. You are so fucking deserving of everything, and I.... I falter for a moment and furiously shake my head. I am broken; I am too damaged to be what you need...what you deserve.

KillerSmileClyde:

My jaw pops with how hard I'm grinding my teeth. No, NO! I won't listen t'ya talk that way. If ya can sing my praises then I'll fill books with your graces. You are so fuckin' smart, witty, a damn sarcastic bitch in the best way to challenge me. Don't even get me started on how gorgeous I think ya are. I think your portrait belongs in museums 'n no words in any language would describe ya like ya deserve.

You have the biggest fuckin' heart o'anyone I've ever met. The emotion had taken over, every thought and wish poured out of my mouth I wish I could make ya see what I see.

We both are broken, so fuckin' what, everyone has baggage. I will gladly carry your bags if it meant I got to see ya smile. What can I do to prove it t'ya?

#Angst #ADCU RP #Marie Sackler Personal Au Rp #Clyde Logan #killersmileclyde #Fluff #Slow Burn #Friends to Lovers

18 notes · View notes

anyi-arts · 3 years

Text

Good Enough

words: 1320

characters: Roman, C!Thomas

relationships: Roman x C!Thomas

content: angst, fluff, slight hurt/comfort

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roman sighed, running a hand through his already quite messy hair as he looked down at the paper.

Nothing was coming to mind, nothing he liked anyway. Nothing was ever good enough, not for him, and especially not for Thomas, and he couldn't have that.

He waved his hand, clearing the paper and began brainstorming again, writing stuff down every now and then, erasing others, until finally, finally, he got something, quickly writing it down in a flurry of nonexistent graphite and eraser shavings.

Proudly, he set down the pencil and read over the sheet, smile slowly falling as he read. No no no! He was sure-! He thought this time finally he'd get something good! But no, of course not! Bah! What was he expecting honestly, of course he couldn't make something good, something worthy of the one he loved most.

God, Thomas would be so disappointed in him, he can't even do his job.

"Oh hey Roman."

And speak of the devil. Although, he couldn't call Thomas a devil, the man was far from it. He was an angel, the most gorgeous and handsome in all the land... next to him, of course. No matter how bad at his job he might be, that was one thing he knew for certain.

But Thomas... oh he could talk about the man for days. How bright his smiles were, far more than any sun or the glint of gold in a dragons horde. The warmth of his eyes, like a gorgeous summer's day, or a hearth in the midst of a cold winter's eve. And then his arms... oh great gorgons they are just, the most amazing things. They're so soft and comforting and strong, he just, being held by them were some of the best moments of existence.

"Roman? You here?"

He blinked, looking up at Thomas from where he was seated. "Oh, yeah, I'm here. What's up?"

He was very much not here, looking into the man’s absolutely gorgeous brown eyes. Next to red and blue, he would have to say brown, that specific shade of brown, was his favourite colour.

"And I was just, y'know, wondering how you were doing."

He blinked, mouth opening to reply. "I-" what should he say though? He- princes didn't lie, it wasn't *honourable* to lie, but it was also unprincely to burden others needlessly, and he didn't- *couldn't*, bear to see the disappointment in Thomas' eyes. "Am perfectly fine, as always. Thank you for asking, love." He kept his facial expressions open and soft, hoping it would be enough to,, to fool him. He felt disgusted with himself, lying to his love, he was no better than a certain slimy serpent.

"That's good. And what're you working on?"

"Oh, that? That," He laughs, feeling his blood run cold. "That's just some ideas I've been working on. They're not very good though, so, but I assure you, my beloved, I'll have an idea for you yet."

He gave a smile, trying to keep from tensing up, he was far too into it to go back now.

He wished he could be in those arms right now, away from the worries of the world, of his duties and responsibilities. Feeling safe and loved for once.

"Can I see?" Thomas asked, with a kind smile and face and god he wished he could say no, but he couldn't. He never could, not to him.

He'd give him everything he'd ask for and more.

"Sure."

Thomas nodded his thanks, picking the paper up and reading it. His face was horribly neutral, and he forced himself to relax. Why couldn't he just emote, at least then he'd know what he was thinking.

A few more short moments passed that felt like hours to him before Thomas finally spoke. "Roman... these are great! Do you think you could find a way to use this one for the next video?"

Roman blinked, a bit shocked, eyes quickly scanning over his face for any sign he might be lying, once again feeling disgusted with himself for even *thinking* that Thomas of all people would lie to him. Thomas was far better than that, than him.

"Roman? Bud?" He winced, ever so slightly, at the concern in his tone.

"Oh, yes, apologies, sure. I can do that.”

“Great, now, are you sure you're okay? You don't seem like it. And, you know you can trust me Roman. I won't be upset if you share how you're feeling."

Roman nodded, looking away for a moment and readjusting his sash. “It’s just, I was worried. That my ideas wouldn’t be good enough.” The ‘for you’ went unsaid, though he was sure Thomas knew. He always seemed to.

If Logan were here, he would say that of course he knew, they were the same person, technically, as much a a small facet of someones personality could compare to the whole, but Logan wasn’t here, and he liked to think that he and Thomas were just close enough that he’d know, for no other reason than that.

“Roman… I love your ideas, and even if they aren’t perfect or amazing or whatever, we can work together and improve them, and even then I’ll still like them, because they’re made by you.” He blushed at the praise, looking away, readjusting his sash again. “I- thank you, Thomas, that’s uh, very kind of you. But surely my ideas aren’t that good, I mean, they’re,, average if anything,”

“Roman,” He took the others hands in his own, squeezing them gently. “Would I lie to you about this?”

He shook his head, still not daring to look into Thomas’ eyes, instead very closely examining his hands, so similar yet different to his own. God he was pathetic, he was supposed to be brave, but he couldn’t even look the one he loved in the eyes because he was scared he’d see something he wouldn’t like. “Exactly. So trust me when I tell you, Roman, that they’re good enough, that you’re good enough, I promise.”

He opened his mouth to say something, breath catching in his throat as he tried to figure out just what he would be saying. “I,,” He glanced up, blinking back tears as he saw the open loving look in the other's eyes, something he still had trouble believing was directed at him. “Okay. I- I trust you.” Thomas gave him a soft smile, leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “Now how about we go and watch something fun, you could use a break after all this work. He nodded again, a small smile on his lips. “Sure, I’ll be with you in a moment, just, need to clean up here.”

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.” And with that, he left the room, probably heading to set the TV up and get some snacks.

Roman let out a breath, wiping his eyes. It probably wouldn’t do to look like he was crying, he didn’t want to make Thomas any more concerned than he probably already was. After a few more moments of regaining his composure, he snapped away the mess of crumpled up papers, temporarily snapping up a mirror to check over himself, fixing anything that might be out of place before heading over to where Thomas was.

He sat down next to him on the couch, snuggling to his side as Thomas opened his arms, wrapping them around him and pulling him close. As he relaxed into the hold, he let out a breath and did his best to focus on the show they were now watching, and the warmth and weight of the others arms around him instead of his own miserable thoughts.

It was always nice to spend time like this together, he thought, snapping himself into comfier clothes than his usual princely getup and snuggling closer to Thomas.

He hoped it would last longer than his usual fantasies.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #roman #roman sanders #c!thomas #roman x thomas #thoman #romas #romtom #my fic #angst

14 notes · View notes

timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 41 - Could It Be Eddie Vedder?

North Washington, November 12 1990

(Andi is 20)

ANDI: It was mid morning in early winter with the sun shining surprisingly bright. It had snowed just a little bit the night before and the air was crisp and cool. The boys were working in the studio recording the first few tracks for the album they were putting together and they finally decided on a name last night.

'I want to show you something, like joy inside my heart Seems I been living in the Temple of The Dog'

Andy would definitely approve.

Anyways... Since it was so early, and not to mention some of the boys do have a little bit of a hangover... ehem - Jeff - I figured we could all use some much needed coffee. Right now Eddie is with me, driving Chris's truck to a small town called Lynwood to see if there is a coffee shop or diner of some sort.

I should say, that as much as I thought that I was shy - and trust me I am - Eddie is even more so. So when the two of us get together, it's pretty quiet and awkward for the first little while, since I'm not usually the one to start conversations. With Eddie I seem to have to but I totally understand why. He had just moved here from San Diego only a couple of months ago after he sent a demo tape of a few songs he had written lyrics to back to Jeff Stone and Mike. I guess they had sent out that same tape to look for a singer as they wanted to continue on and knew that Andy would want them to.

Jeff and Stone were so impressed by the way Eddie sounded that they asked him to fly out here for a couple of weeks to see if he would audition and if he wanted to be part of the band. Well, those few weeks turned into a permanent stay once Eddie officially decided to join them and everyone pretty much fell in love with him, especially Chris.

Before the wedding, Chris wanted to make him feel welcome, so he invited him out for a few drinks and they became so close right away. It was sweet how Chris embraced him like a brother. I think Eddie reminds Chris of Andy in some ways with writing. Chris really missed having that with Andy.

"Thanks for driving me," I say and quickly glance at him.

"Sure... you're welcome," He says.

"I mean it's not like I can't drive... I just shouldn't," I say.

"It's ok I don't mind," Eddie smiles at me and glances back out the windshield. I hate it when it's awkward and quiet like this.

"Um... wanna listen to some tunes?" I ask.

"Sure," He smiles at me again. I open up the glovebox of Chris's blue Ford pickup and pull out my new cassette of a band called Pantera. I slide it into the stereo and the first track starts up right away.

"I've been so addicted to this album since I got it," I say as 'Cowboys from Hell' plays through the stereo.

The rest of the entire drive to Lynwood was pretty silent except for the amazing guitar solos that Dime was playing through the speakers. I wish there was a way that we could somehow make it less awkward between us. We then find a small little diner and Eddie parks the truck out front. We both climb out of our seats and head inside, immediately greeted by 1960's décor. I walk up to the counter and place an order for 6 black coffee's with all the stuff on the side and a dozen doughnuts to go while Eddie studies the place, his hand in the pockets of his suede chestnut brown jacket, his messy golden curls everywhere and those bright blue eyes that can make a girl weak in the knees.

Once my order is filled, I hand the girl some cash with a tip, then Eddie helps me carry out the coffee and doughnuts to the truck. Once we get settled, Eddie pulls back out on to the highway, heading back to London Bridge Studios where the boys are recording.

"These coffee's are probably going t be so cold once we get them back to the studio," I say as I balance the tray on my lap.

"Nah, well maybe, but I think there's a microwave in the lounge," He says and glances in the rearview mirror. There was a little bit more silence between us but then Eddie decides to speak.

"So um... time travelling... what's that like?" He asks. I glance back at him surprised by that question but deep down I was expecting it at some point.

"Not as glamorous as you would think," I chuckle and he gives me a little smirk.

"Sorry, you probably get that question a lot huh?" He says.

"Yea but, I'm used to it. I know it's hard to understand for a lot of people so I try to explain it as best I can. Most people don't believe me until it actually happens though,"

"Well I'll admit, I didn't believe you until I saw it happen at your wedding," He glances at me.

"Yea, that definitely was not my intention... wait, you knew?" I ask as my curls fall down across my eyes and I flip them out of my face.

"Yea... you were just a little different during the party. I mean, you were still you, but you seemed a little older... I can't really explain it. But Chris was just all about you of course. He couldn't take his eyes off of you," Eddie explains. I honestly didn't think he would be able to pick up on when I time slip - if it's my future self or past self. It's still all me of course.

"I wish I was there," I say quietly and Eddie raises his eyebrow at me again. "I mean, this me... the present me,"

"Where were you?" He asks.

"I was with Chris... just in the past," I say glancing down, remembering how upset and angry I was with myself that I missed my own wedding.

"Sounds sweet,"

"It can be... fuck, I love him more than anything. He's like the other half of me .. I never thought I would ever meet someone like him and I just really wanted to marry him that day y'know? " I say glancing out my passenger window as the lightly snow covered fields roll by.

"Yea... but you're married now aren't you?" Eddie glances at me.

"Yea, yea... the next morning we went to City Hall and made it official. It was nice but, it wasn't the same," I say looking down at the tattoo on my finger.

"Not what you planned?" Eddie asks.

"No... nothing ever happens the way I plan it. I always seem to find a way to fuck something up someway or somehow," I didn't exactly mean for that to come out that way. I guess I've been holding in a lot of resentment towards myself.

Eddie glances back at me for a few moments and I can tell he's trying to figure me out, but instead I decide to change the subject for a bit.

"So how is Beth? I haven't seen her since the wedding," I ask, pushing my curls behind my ear once again.

"She's good, she's still in San Diego working on a few things before she heads back up here. I finally was able to convince her to move up here with me just a couple of weeks ago so... she's just getting things together. Her band's not taking it well apparently, and I get it but..." He explains.

"You miss her?" I ask glancing at him as he keeps his eyes on the highway.

"Yea... a lot,"

I can just see how much he loves her as he continues to talk more about her and her band. I had only met her once before the wedding and she barely talked if at all. She is a lot more into punk and hardcore in terms of her style as well as her music, but sweet nonetheless. She's a bassist for her band Hovercraft and she just recently graduated from San Diego State University. Her and Eddie have been together since '83 when she was only 16 and he was 19.

"...and since my dad... um passed away - my real dad - she's been the only one who's basically keeping me together," " He adds, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly knowing exactly how he feels.

"It's ok, I mean I only met him once or twice when I was really little... My dad - who I thought was my dad - really wasn't my dad. When he left my mom, I found out that he was really my stepdad and that my real dad who I thought was just a family friend was actually... my dad," He explains.

"Holy shit," I say trying to take everything in.

"Yea I know... it's complicated but... still hurts though..." He trails off thoughtfully then it becomes silent between us for a few moments.

"Sorry," He apologizes, quickly glancing at me then back to the road.

"No, no it's ok... just wow," I exhale as I keep my eyes on him for a moment, then look down at the tray of coffee's in my lap, then I add "When my mom passed, it was so hard to deal with knowing she isn't really here anymore... same with Andy too. It's like this incredible heartbreak that just doesn't ever feel like it's going to go away,"

"It will eventually, with time... At least that's what they say," Eddie says and I glance back at him and give him a small smile while he does the same.

"Were you close with Andy too?" He asks.

"Oh yea, really close... Chris too... well we pretty much all were but I'd say Chris and Andy were like brothers y'know? He was my best friend. I'm an only child so he was always the one I could talk to if I needed someone... If couldn't talk to Chris for whatever reason. He was just... so sweet and like such a good person inside... y'know? If anyone was having a rough day or whatever, he was like the best person to talk to cause he would just make you forget and just..." My voice waivers as I explain and then I quickly look away from him and out the windshield trying my hardest not to cry.

Fuck, I miss him... if only I could've just saved him.

I feel Eddie glance back over at me as I try to get myself together. I definitely do not need to have a break down in front of him, of all people. I take in a deep breath and glance back at Eddie and just by his expression, I could tell that he was doing his best to comfort me.

"Looks like we're almost back at the studio," He says clearing his throat and gesturing to the road sign up ahead.

"Yea," I say quietly and after a little while, we pull up to the large cabin that was London Bridge Studios.

******************************************************************************************

A/N: So I tried to make a play on a title I thought of "Could It Be Any Better?" but I might have failed miserably LMAO. Anyways, I know there wasn't much happening in this part, but I wanted to give a proper introduction to Eddie and so I feel like this is the best way to do so. Let me know what you think.

#time travel #Time After Time #chris cornell #soundgarden #eddie vedder #chris cornell fanfiction #soundgarden fanfiction #pearl jam #eddie vedder fanfiction #alternate universe #fantasy #also on ao3 #also on wattpad

23 notes · View notes

addictofsupernatural · 4 years

Text

Emotions (pt. 3)

Billy Hargrove x reader

Summary: Billy helps y/n make a list of what she needs to do and learn in her life.

Word Count: 2305

Chapter 1 • Series Masterlist • Chapter 4

"So what are we gonna do next?"

"I don't know. There's a lot of things that I've never done." You said. You both decided that he would come over tomorrow. After the call ended you buried your face in a pillow from excitement. Your face was hot and you couldn't stop smiling. You don't fully understand this feeling; it's one that you've never had before, but you love it.

The next day you heard a knock on the door and practically flew to it. You opened it with a big smile on your face, but your smile quickly faded as you saw a bruise on Billy's jawline. You reached for it, Billy looking down and watching you. "Billy, are you okay?"

He put his hand over yours as you gently grazed the purple patch of skin. "Course doll. Can I come in?"

You sadly smiled and nodded, although not too convinced that Billy was okay. He came in and looked around. It was small and old, but also cozy and had a home feeling to it. You both passed El's room, seeing her make out with some kid. You looked at Billy mischievously before kicking the door, causing the kid to shoot up and hit his shin on the bed. "Not cool five!"

You snickered as Billy tried his best to contain his laughter. That kid's face was just too priceless. You both get to your room and leave the door a crack open. You then get out a piece of paper and a pen, writing down all that Billy insists you have to experience. You were both laughing together when Hopper opened the door. "Hey. Just uh, checking in. Making sure everything's okay." He said, then muttering, "Y'know, keeping it PG and all."

Mike then passed by Hopper, stopping right behind him. You saw the time, and knew Mike would have Hopper take him home right about now. "I don't know Hopper, I think you might have to be careful. Billy Hargrove is the town's bad boy."

You stared at Mike, wide eyed. You then looked at Hopper and smiled. "That's strange, because his tongue has been in his mouth the whole time he's been here, but I can't say the same for Mike. Isn't that just the strangest thing?"

Billy bit his lip to hide his smile, although failing miserably. Mike had his mouth hanging open as Hopper gripped him by his shirt and dragged him out the door. "Y'know, for a sweet little thing like yourself, you got a wicked mouth on you doll."

You looked at him, uneasy. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Hell no. It's badass." You beamed and giggled, scooted closer to him. "Alright, now we gotta do all the things on this list."

You both agreed on what to do that day, leaving a note and grabbing the things you needed. You said goodbye to El and went to the car. Before Billy could start the car, you put a hand over his. "Um, I try to be honest with you about my life." You two stared at each other for a moment, before you gently ran your hand over the bruise on his jaw. "Friends don't lie."

He stared into your eyes, and though he didn't know why, he felt safe to talk to you about this. Friends don't lie. Billy couldn't recall if he actually had a real friend then. "Just a small fight with my old man, that's all." He muttered. "Saw Damien on my bed and called me a fag. He tried to throw it away and I wouldn't let him."

You took your hand away and stared at him with sad eyes. "This is my fault." You stated.

"Sweetheart no." He grabbed your hand, kissing your palm and settling it on his cheek. "I chose to fight him. That's on me. From now on I'm gonna hide him in my room. Right now I just wanna have a nice day with my favorite girl, okay?"

You gave him a small smile at the compliment and nodded. As Billy drove you quietly said, "Hey Billy," He nodded his head to show he was listening. "I think you're my favorite guy."

He flashed you a big charming smile. "Think, huh?" You giggled.

You looked down at yourself, uncomfortable. You weren't used to showing this much skin, and you certainly weren't used to wearing something without anything under. You stepped out of the Hawkins pool locker room and timidly walked towards Billy. "Maybe we shouldn't do this. I feel people staring at me."

Billy turned around after getting two towels to look at you, and he wasn't prepared for what he saw. You had your hair up in a high pony tail, letting him be able to see your face clearly. Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes sparkled in the sun. You were hugging your body, in a one piece that was snug in all the right places.

"Well would you look at that?" He leaned against the counter, smirking as he looked you over again. "Aren't you just the prettiest thing? People are staring because of how great you look. Lucky me, I got to you before anyone else could snag you."

You bashfully looked down and smiled. Billy took your hand and led you to a pool chair where he sat you down and applied sunblock on you. As he did this, he listened to you babble on about how you almost went to a pool with El's friends before but then canceled because something happened with El that led to a lot of bad stuff that you didn't elaborate on.

"So you don't know how to swim then?" Billy asked. You shook your head. "All done. C'mon, you're gonna learn today."

You both went into the water, and Billy had you hook your arms around his neck while he swam to the deep end. At first you were nervous and didn't want to let go, but Billy insisted that it was okay and that he had you.

You got the hang of it fairly quickly, and the two of you were enjoying yourselves at the pool. A group of moms were glaring at you, and you caught bits and pieces of what they were saying.

Billy...girl...freak...ugly...body...

You could hear their snickering. You suddenly felt weird about your yourself. It was a new feeling, and it made you want to hide yourself from everyone. You suddenly felt a pair of hands under water bring you to Billy's muscular chest. "Don't pay attention to them." He murmured. "They ain't got nothing better to do."

You hung out at the pool for about another hour before you both went back to your home. He then told you that there was a party tonight, which was also on your list. Later on as you got ready, Billy called you with a gruffy sounding voice. You heard yelling in the background. He asked to come over, and you said yes.

About ten minutes later you heard a knock at the door and opened it. Billy had a leather jacket on and a dark red button down shirt with a few buttons undone. He looked down at your outfit, with your red skirt and cropped white long sleeved shirt. It looked perfect and adorable on you. "Billy!" You hugged him. "Are you okay?"

He looked down at you and smiled. "Yeah, just my old man again. Don't worry about it."

You frowned. "That won't stop me from worrying. But come in, I made food for Hopper and El." As he stepped inside your house, he couldn't help but feel warmer. This house had warmth in it, the type of warmth that Billy's house could never have. Billy was pulled out of his thoughts as you gently grabbed his arm, coming closer to him. "Um, I think you should know that we're a bit strange. And El is a little shy."

He nodded, completely understanding. You didn't want him to be offended if your little sister was not as instantly warm as you. You called out that dinner was ready and served yourself. The other two came out of their rooms to serve themselves, all while staring at Billy. "You can serve yourself too." You smiled as you handed him an empty plate. You made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and red rice.

Hopper took out another small table and pushed it with the one that was already there, pulling up a chair as well. You and Billy sat on one side while Hopper and El sat on the other. When they weren't looking, Billy buttoned up his shirt some more. "It's nice to meet you both." Billy said politely, knowing how to act in front of others. He's had practice.

"Yeah, you too." Hopper forced out.

The conversation was not going anywhere, so you stepped in. "El, Billy's from California." Eleven had a map of the country in her room, secretly wishing she could go travel somewhere other than Hawkins.

She looked up, interested. "Ocean?"

Billy nodded. "Lots of ocean."

"Pretty?"

Billy flashed a grin. "Real pretty, sunshine." Eleven smiled.

You stared at your plate and smiled. El liked him. Hopper couldn't help but feel less tense at the way Billy was making an effort to make them like him. He began to tell El about the times he's gone to the beach with his old friends.

Everybody at the table enjoyed what Billy was saying. The one who enjoyed this the most was Billy. He's never had this. He's never had a nice dinner, where everyone talks to each other comfortably. It's always quiet, with Susan going on and on about her day. He felt wanted here. And the food was actually fucking good.

After everyone was finished you began to wash the dishes. As you did, Hopper took Billy aside. "So, um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm trusting you with my daughter, and that's kind of a big deal."

Billy felt a twinge of pride. "Thank you sir."

"Just, uh, be back by 10, and," Hopper scratched the back of his head, worried about entrusting his daughter's safety to someone else. "Keep her safe."

Billy nodded. "I will sir."

You slipped on your shoes and told Billy that you were ready to go. As the two of you walked outside and to his car, Hopper and El came out. "Bye Billy." El said, waving with a small smile.

"Bye sunshine." Her smile grew a bit wider.

When you got to the house Billy took your hand and led you inside. He then got the two of you drinks. You took a swig, wincing. "This tastes horrible."

Billy nodded, chuckling. "It's for the effect, not the taste. I'll get you something a little less grown up." You understood the joking mannerism in his voice, and gently pushed his shoulder with a smile before letting him go off again.

As you waited you felt a heavy hand on your shoulder. You turned around and saw an unfamiliar drunk face. "Hey, what are you doing by yourself?" He slurred.

"Um, waiting for Billy to come back." You said wearily. You considered using your powers to knock him out. You knew you shouldn't use it in a public place, but you had a bad feeling about him.

"Billy Hargrove?" He took a step forward, to which you took a step back. "What are you doing with him?"

"He's good company." You said in a monotone voice. He kept on walking towards you.

"I bet I can be better company sweetheart."

You backed up into a hard chest. You turned around to see Billy, drinks in hands and staring straight at the drunk teenager. "You don't get to call her that."

"Billy-"

"Get behind me y/n." He didn't take his eyes off the guy, handing the drinks to you and stepping forward.

"You think you're the shit, huh California? You think you could just steal all the bitches, huh?"

Billy wiped his mouth, pointing at him. "What the hell did you just call her?"

You quickly set the drinks down on the counter and stepped in between the two. "Forget about it, please. It's my first party, remember?" You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Let's dance."

He glanced at the drunken teen before looking back at you. He stared at you for a moment before chuckling. "Whatever you want doll."

The two of you left the frustrated, drunk teenager and went to the living room, where he pressed your body to his, putting his hands to your hips as you rested your head on his chest.

"You should be more careful." He said after a moment of silence.

You lifted your head. "I know. But I'll have you, so I'm not worry." He happily looked down at you, making a mental note to kick the crap out of that guy another day.

After you danced you two talked to other people, Billy snatching you every time a guy got too friendly. Later you told him that you wanted to go, and so the two of you drove off, you telling him which way to go.

You parked in a field, where there was a pond on the other end. "Is this the part where something bad happens?" Billy joked.

You smiled and shook your head, looking out at the view. "When I escaped with El, we found this place, and just sat down to take in everything." You got out of the car and opened up his car door, grabbing his hand and leading him into the field, sitting down with him.

The two of you were sitting together, just talking about random things. He told you that he'd never had a trust worthy friend before, and you told him that you've never been around someone who was so focused on you. You both taught each other on this day that this was what having a true friend felt like.

---

Tag List:

@roxytheimmortal @shane-isa-shame @actuallyazriel @tanovic54321 @chipster-21 @jula-bear

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy stranger things #stranger things billy #billy hargove imagine #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things billy hargrove

265 notes · View notes

jooliargh · 3 years

Text

Happy, NOW, like THIS

Not wishing put a downer on anyone’s Christmas any more than, y'know, 2020 has put a downer on everything in general, but I'm not the most Christmassy of people. I sometimes joke that I'm a bit "bah, humbug" but that's not quite true: I want everyone to have a great time, I get great pleasure giving someone a gift I know they’ll enjoy unwrapping, I just don't usually quite feel unbridled joy myself. I'm rarely actually unhappy, just sometimes a bit... meh. I don't have a tragic reason why I should be, in my case it's more that there's a limited, prescribed set of ways to be happy, and you have to do it on this one specific day (and then another kind of happy on this other specific day a week later and by an accident of birth I have ANOTHER day I'm supposed to be happy slap-bang in the middle), and "be happy, NOW, like THIS" feels like a lot of pressure. Like... what if I don’t want to? What if I’d prefer to be just quietly content?

I imagine this is somewhat true even if the family you grew up in were like the OXO family, which most people's probably weren't. My childhood Christmases weren't awful, but they weren't like the ones you see on TV. At risk of launching into a seasonal version of the Four Yorkshiremen sketch, we were poor. Lots of people have it a lot worse - we had a roof over our heads and enough to eat - but for as long as I can remember, I was aware that my parents couldn't afford much, and any gifts I got were at the cost of sacrifices elsewhere.

My teenage Christmases... the less said the better. I got dumped in December three years running. (I volunteered for a few years at a hospital radio station, and one running joke was that any time I came to the studio in December, whoever was on air would cue up Lonely This Christmas by Mudd and leave the mic open so I couldn't loudly tell them to fuck off.) One of those Christmases I still lived at home, another I spent on my own, and one I was the charity case invited to my best friend's in-laws. (Which was actually pretty hilarious, and I am forever grateful. But nobody wants to be the charity case at their best friend's in-laws.)

So where were my family, you may ask? I grew up as an only child. For some reason people think that sounds tragic in itself but honestly it was fine. Or at least, the difficult things about my childhood wouldn't have been any better for having siblings living with me. Dad died when I was 11 (nope, that's not the tragic backstory either - happy to talk about it any time you like, but it would be a huge digression here), so for seven Christmases it was just me and my mum. I left home at 18 and while there was no bad blood between us, we just didn't see much of each other. She took to celebrating the solstice instead anyway. I have extended family on both sides and it's lovely to be in touch with them again the last few years, but we’d see each other a couple of times a year at most, then managed to go thirty-odd years without seeing each other at all, so clearly we're not a family that does family much.

Then just after Christmas, I have a birthday. Perineum birthdays (because that's the only description for the time between Christmas and New Year that ever seems to stick) are great as a kid - everyone comes to your party because everyone's parents leap at the chance to be rid of their spawn for a couple of hours, regardless of whether that spawn is even vaguely friends with the birthday child. For the price of a colouring book and some crayons it's a bargain. In the early 80s parties outside the home were for people with more money than sense, or nice things they didn't want kids to break. We had nothing worth caring about getting ruined so my parents were quite happy to let us run riot, and generally it was great fun.

As an adult, perineum birthdays are fine if you have modest expectations. There's no barb to that, I mean it quite sincerely. Most years I wouldn't throw a party if you paid me. Going to the cinema, having a wander around town and a meal out, seeing a few friends in the extreme case, is more than enough. The last big milestone birthday I decided to have my get-together in March just to save everyone the awkwardness of having to make excuses and myself the effort of making them feel better about having to make excuses. I like my friends; I'm not going to oblige them to celebrate with me when they could really do with a couple of days doing nothing.

And that brings us to New Year's Eve. One side of my family is from Scotland. I had one Hogmanay up there when I was about four years old and I think my general attitude of “could we just not...?” started there. I have the sketchiest recollection which consists of only: a real coal fire (a novelty having grown up in London), Andy Stewart on the telly, whisky, LPs of bagpipe music, and adults crying. To this day I associate bagpipes with crying. Sorry, Scotland. It may have also influenced my ongoing choice not to start drinking.

I have had some fun NYEs - generally the ones where a few of us got together at a friend's house and spent the evening on the sofa, playing games, talking and laughing. The shittest ones by far have been in pubs. Midnight was spent dodging either strangers who wanted to either kiss and hug everyone within range or strangers who wanted to fight everyone within range.

The one where my (then-)boyfriend went out and partied while I stayed at home with tonsillitis so bad I cried every time I swallowed was less awful than some of the NYEs I've spent in pubs.

I'm going to put it out there: any indoor New Year's celebration with over 20 people is shit. If you think I'm wrong, consider going to a massive New Year’s party, sober. I'm absolutely not the kind of person who abstains from alcohol and thinks everyone else should, drunk people can be very entertaining and I’ll happily spend an evening in the pub with a few friends any other time of year (except when there’s a plague on, anyway). But if you can't imagine having fun doing something without at least a few drinks, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the thing itself is probably not fun.

So why do we have this image that staying in on NYE is like the black mark of social failure? And why do I stay at home with my partner, having a perfectly lovely evening, and yet still feel like I should be out doing something more extravagant, even though experience tells me I'd rather have tonsillitis than go to a pub?

Truly, I don't know. But please don't think I'm having a miserable time because I'm a bit quiet, or I'm not wearing a Christmas jumper and belting out Slade for all I'm worth, or not partying on my birthday, or not going to a pub on New Year's Eve. I'm fine. Probably quite content, in fact. The thing most guaranteed to put a serious downer on the festive season for me is being told these are the happiest days of the year, therefore I should be happy, NOW, like THIS.

2 notes · View notes

project-ohagi · 4 years

Text

Natsuo Todoroki x Reader - Christmas Scenario

Buy me a coffee!! <3

Trigger Warnings: Self-harm, Depression.

----

The mirror was your greatest adversary, forever threatening to split your soul with its whispered words of discouragement and reality. Being doomed to suffer eternal torment behind it, never again realising the blinding rays of the sun, was something else entirely. Perhaps it was a curse, but the individual to place it upon you remained veiled in shadows. It was a miserable, meagre existence, but at least you hadn't the burden of responsibilities. Or...maybe you did. Maybe the tides had changed, while you slumbered, to further distort and fracture your heart. Apparently, those who peered into your reflective prison were unaware of the accompanying humanity - the personality amidst the inanimate glass. You had refrained from etching words on to it, and your vocal cords had long expired, so you became trapped, isolated, lonely.

For a time.

Thanks to your efforts, the mirror was partially broken. Baneful shards of glass were scattered at your feet, and your initial instinct was to use them. Not for a conventional purpose, but to inflict damage upon yourself, to embrace accountability for whatever transgressions you had committed. The jagged outlines cut almost cleanly through your flesh, but it still stung. You were frightened of the kiss, serpentine with its poison and dolour. It wouldn't hack too deeply, but it hurt like Hell. Tears streamed down your face, as you whimpered. Could nobody save you from this deplorable fate? You prayed to any gods listening, and to any heroes too. You feared and you suffered, perpetually.

Of course, the problems started far earlier than your confinement, however, it definitely served as a catalyst. People didn't search amongst the abyss to find your dwindling light, they couldn't understand your silent pleading. The mirror itself was ornate, and so garnered much attention, although customers often complained about a sudden surge of bile, a sick feeling boiling the pits of their stomachs. It never lasted long in one household, being sold off promptly to the highest bidder. Glass in hand, you proceeded to count the passing days - it had been exactly 1825 days (or 5 years) since the stars imprisoned you. No food had graced your lips, nor water, so you wondered how you still lived. Were you still living? Were you really alive, or was this simply a version of Hell? Purgatory? Was it a near-death experience? A plethora of questions wanted to leap from your tongue, but you subdued each one. Who would listen, after all? What a nasty shock it would be, to discover a human caged inside your mirror, being forced to watch daily, as women and men alike beautified or belittled themselves.

It felt like high school, all over again.

And, what if upon that most disturbing revelation, they (purposefully or accidentally) broke the mirror? To your knowledge, you hadn't experienced any side-effects at the barely-noticeable fragmenting of glass, but what would happen if the whole thing shattered? What would become of your body, if you even possessed one anymore? Sure, you comprehended a realism about yourself, but what did that actually mean? The senses are notoriously easy to fool, at the end of the day.

Someone picked up your mirror, lugging it across a pathway, surrounded by traditional Japanese statues, with a zen garden aesthetic. It was gorgeous, and for a moment, it relaxed your brain. Your new owner was a male, muscular and quite handsome. It alleviated your concerns a little, when his slanted eyes gazed into his own reflection, unknowingly encountering you. Actually, this one was stunning. Spiked, snowy hair protruded from his head, and his resting expression was somewhere between an angry scowl and a playful smile. Your cheeks heated up - he was (unintentionally) staring right at you! The bliss that enveloped you was other-worldly. Over time, you learned to wait with baited breath for his arrival, pretending that you were a housewife, taking his coat and asking about his day. Deep sighs escaped your lips, but they were far from sorrowful. He elicited a strange sensation within your very core - he made you want to speak up, to uncover more of his personal life, to tear the curtains from his eyes and allow your presence to be noted.

But...you couldn't. More than ever, the terror gripped you. What if he freaked out? Not only would you risk ruining your (admittedly) very slim chance with him, but you might be abandoned again.

Another few weeks strolled by, your toxic habits subsiding ever-so-slightly. Whenever those cloudy-coloured gemstones entered your mind, with an accusatory glint, you simply couldn't bring yourself to cut. And, when he removed his shirt...gods, those back muscles were so well-defined. But...for some reason, he always faced away from your mirror. Perhaps he was superstitious. When garlands of evergreen began littering his room, you knew that Christmas was fast approaching. There were bells and candy-canes decorating a fairly-large tree in the centre of the room. Tinsel wound around it haphazardly - the result of an almost-fatal struggle, during which your beloved caved. He seemed to have a vision of the perfect tree, but surrendered when everything went to shambles.

A gruff voice yelled his name, which was a lovely contrast to the wintry-themed room. You locked that valuable information in a safe, guarded box. Natsuo. It tasted heavenly. One day (you estimated it to be around the 18th December), he brought a plate of Christmas-inspired foods into his room. He located a perch mere inches from the mirror. He sat down the plate. He stared, focus morphing into fixation. Confusion contorted his beautiful face, as he shuffled forwards. You felt an urge to preserve the distance, so you stepped back as much as the abyss would permit.

No acclaimed literary could have wrapped their words around this moment, for it was indescribable. The floodgates of your heart splintered with the force of your repressed emotions. You cried crystalline tears, but you wished to chant carols of celebration. The warmth of mulled wine flowed through your veins, lacing into them an intoxication. Happiness bubbled away in your throat, and your hands struggled to suppress it.

"How did you get in there?" A single, angelic echo breathed new life into your withering soul.

A million snowflakes endeavoured to barricade your voice, but you needed this - you needed to speak. "I-I don't know...I've been in here for..." You glanced to your arm. "...around 5 years?"

Those radiant, grey irises widened in shock. "5 years...? And those scars..."

"They're okay!" You tried reassuring him. "They don't hurt anymore. This is just...it's a lot to take in."

Concern only grappled him tighter. "Is there any way to get you out? Ah, wait...if you knew that, you wouldn't still be stuck. I had a feeling something was up with this mirror. There are rumours that it's cursed or haunted, y'know? Well, I guess that's not wrong..."

"Is that why you never faced me while you changed?" You asked, not immediately realising how strange that sounded.

A dark crimson hue dusted his cheeks, and a stuttered response caressed the air.

"Y-Yeah...I didn't think you were watching, though."

You flushed. "Ah! I'm so sorry! I stepped out of line, again...wait a minute - how did you realise I was trapped in here? You never seemed to look too much, and no-one else saw me."

"I was w-watching..." His voice lowered, as embarrassment fluttered in his stomach. "...maybe a god did something nice for you? It is almost Christmas."

"No...four Christmases have already passed since I got here. If a god truly cared, wouldn't I already be out?" You questioned, tone assertive.

Natsuo paused, deep in thought. "Then...maybe it was me? I was feeling frustrated and lonely, so I prayed for an angel. I got you. You must be a blessing, right? And the fact that only I found you...that confirms it. You're my gift. So I'll help you. I'm no hero, but I'm sure I can figure something out." An adorably-bashful smile adorned his lips, as he added, "This is fate, I can feel it!"

#boku no hero x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero imagines #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo x reader #my hero academia x reader

31 notes · View notes

muzeez · 4 years

Text

8:41pm

Monday

17th August 2020

I lost it today and I wished I hadn't. I threw a handful of cards at Hansel and walked out. Now I need to look for another job but in the heat of anger I didn't care about that at the time.

I'm just tired of everyone being miserable and mean towards me.

I went to the woolshop before going into work. Kathleen had heard that the woolshop was closing down and she phoned me up in a royal panic giving me a list of needles that she needed.

Gillian and Pat were working and they were chatting to eachother when I arrived. I told them that Kathleen had heard the shop was closing and asked if it were true. Yes, was the reply. I read out the list that Kathleen had given me and joked about the panic phonecall I had received. They weren't 100% enthusiastic about helping me and they weren't particularly friendly. Especially Pat. Gillian wasn't too bad but with Pat, it felt like she could do without my turning up.

I mentioned wool but said I don't know what type of wool she uses.

"Well, it's either soft or baby" Gillian replied with a little bit of impatience in her tone.

Well, if it were that simple, why doesn't Kathleen think that, considering she's virtually a professional knitter, I thought to myself.

After she sold me the needles, I asked if it was possible to take some pictures of some wool so I could show Kathleen. Pat decided she had somewhere better to be and disappeared.

"Miserable, ignorant, unfriendly Bitch!!" I thought to myself. It would have been great to say it out loud but I didn't.

However, Gillian was a little more amicable and said I could take a video if I wanted to.

"Hey, that's a good idea, yeah thank you I'll do that" I said. I took a quick, short video. While I was doing that Gillian went off to her own shop across the aisle. She could have stayed with me and given some narrative advice.

When I finished I planned to have a quick short chat with her but another miserable woman had hijacked her, telling her life story. I just said thank you as I was leaving and laughed about Kathleen fearing the internet, otherwise I could have done a video call with her.

"Do you want me to get you some" the other miserable woman said to Gillian. Cutting me off and continuing with their conversation, like my interjection wasn't welcome.

I couldn't help wondering at that point, what the real reason for lack of custom was. Can't blame everything on lockdown and the experience I'd just had wasn't exactly pleasant. I'd approached them okay, spoke directly, pleasant, friendly and upbeat, looked them in the eye. So, I wasn't doing anything wrong. Quite similar to the experience I'd had at OddJob Bob's.

Anyway, then I made my way down to the shop where I work. In a later phonecall Rasbach would be adamant that Hansel was absolutely fine that morning. No he wasn't. From the moment I walked in he had a face like a slapped arse. He looked furious about something but there again he did most mornings. Grinding his teeth together at the inconvenience of having to get out of bed to come to work and stay all day while me and Romeo were getting a full wage and getting loads of time off.

Or maybe he'd been looking at my Facebook account and kept seeing my smiling happy face and all the likes I was attracting and my light hearted posts. Maybe that was secretly annoying him. In previous weeks, I recall Hansel making a bitter comment about people posting stuff that have no purpose and how he only posts stuff that have purpose.

"What... Football?" I thought to myself, because that's all I see him posting about. Boring football and nobody seems quick to react to any of his posts.

Anyway, he had a miserable face towards me this morning and I tried to ignore it and remain upbeat.

Rasbach was also a little hit and miss this morning. I needed them to be pleased to see me. I needed them to be upbeat and happy. Give me what I'm giving you. It's bad enough that every single person this morning has had a horrible miserable face on them, I don't want to see my colleagues and bosses like that too.

Anyway, I took off my coat and started getting on with putting cards out. I kept trying to make eye contact with Hansel but he was making a point of not looking at me. He had no problem trying to establish eye contact with people passing by though, as always. Makes me feel like I'm holding him hostage and he's trying to get outside help.

He had such a face of thunder and it felt like it was towards me, he seemed fine with his Dad and his Dad was being fine with him. Doing their usual intimate whispering every so often. I really wish they wouldn't behave like this because it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. No laughter, no love, no enthusiasm, just being plain miserable. Not only that, I've realised over the years that customers pick up on the mood when they come into the shop. I also believe they pick up on the dynamics between US. People aren't stupid and I've learnt that they pick up on the vibes and they play on them too. They can sense who is who and who is the underdog and they pick alot of it up from Rasbach and Hansel's body language and mannerisms.

Customers start being ignorant, rude and having a sense of contempt towards me. Rasbach and Hansel are like a pair of vultures and they sink their teeth into it. It's like, the customers at the slight contempt from my bosses towards me, so they act on it, then Rasbach and Hansel see the contempt from the customers towards me and that spurs them on, like they've now got confirmation, let's really go for it.

You really have to be right there, right in my shoes, for days, weeks, months on end to know what I'm talking about. I sure ain't imagining shit!

Anyhoooo, an old couple came in the far doors, as I was walking around the front unit. I went to say "morning" to them but the woman was looking right passed me, lips pursed outwards and nose pointed upwards. The man had a face full of thunder and he was also looking through me. Like they're immediately irritated at my being there.

"Well, y'know sommet" I thought. "I am NOT gonna be the one to be saying morning. It's a 2 way thing isn't it?" I can tell the difference between people who're twats people who aren't and I've had a gut full of always being the one to speak first and then they're response is rude.

I carried on with my work and as I was bent down in one of the female birthday units, (when I say 'bent down' I was fully doubled over and Hansel couldn't see me) the woman suddenly and abruptly shouted to me, "where's anniversary for husband?". There was such a tone to her voice.

Remember I'm doubled over, I'm not very well going to answer while I'm upside down. She had an opportunity to ask me when she waltzed passed me moments earlier, while I was looking in her face and stood upright.

I straightened myself up and even though I'd clocked her ignorance and abruptness I engaged with the woman with no problem. I always make a conscious effort to be right.

The two of them were already stood in front of the anniversaries so I said, "they're just in front of you love". Usually, I'd walk closer to people when I'm speaking to them but with all the social distancing thing, I kept back. Not because I'm being awkward, or because I believe they're going to give me Coronavirus or whatever but because I know it's on everybody's minds and everybody's on edge.

I then realised the husband anniversaries weren't in front of them, they were at the end. "oh no sorry, husband ones are down there." They didn't say thank you or anything like that. They're whole demeanor was rotten towards me.

Hansel's supposed to be pricing cards but he's picking up on EVERYTHING all the time. Especially, if it's negatively incriminating towards me. He's picked up on the couple's negative and abrupt tone towards me and that's giving him that boost, reassuring him, affirmation that it's okay to be contemptuous towards Muzeez. Customers are doing it, his Dad's doing it a bit this morning. Hansel's already spitting feathers towards me (I'm guessing it's my latest Facebook Post, a bright cheery, positive selfie.) and this is his excuse do pick on me.

"Why d'ya have to make things so difficult" he snarled as I walk by the counter. I looked at him and his top lip was curled up in a nasty anger sneer. This is the millionth time I've looked at him this morning and he still refuses to engage me properly with eye contact.

"Pardon!?!" i asked.

"I said, WHY..... DO YOU... HAVE.... TO..... MAKE... THINGS.... SO.... DIFFICULT...." he repeated, seperating each word and annunciating each word. The whole clever and horrible attitude in his tone, and briefly flicking his eyes up at me like I was a lump of shit, his top lip curling further and further up. My blood was starting to boil.

"Oh, what am I making difficult Hansel?" I ask, this time I'm getting an attitude and he doesn't answer. "No go on Hansel, how am I making things difficult?"

"it doesn't matter" he says, because he can hear the edge in my voice so he's deciding to sound all lovely and calm.

But by now I'm raging, "if you've got nothing pleasant to say Hansel, keep ya mouth shut."

5 notes · View notes