#i just want to feel normal

[liliotl]

When people tell me that I can't want more horror themes in splatoon because it's a kids game

People are really annoying about adults liking stuff that's targeted towards a younger audience, I can't stand it like just leave me alone pleeeasssee my ocd is already bad enough just please stop making me feel like shit for simply enjoying things

#crying and throwing up #i just want to feel normal #i wish i was aborted

[bidisasterevankinard]

Why when I feel that i start to get out of the hole i punched back there with little things?

#i just want to feel normal #diana.txt

[quasieli]

I am just, incredibly anxious and stuck. I need to eat, I need to feel like a human. I need human contact outside of my family.

#Eli Speaks #gd it sucks that ive been feeling like this since my friend left #we had such a good time together and it felt so good and normal #but now i dont know when im gonna see her next #and im just #stuck #and lonely #i cant go anywhere without a car and i dont drive #so im just stuck in the house with my family #i want friends i want shit to do #but im just stuck #and it's //so fun// that this feeling alos makes me feel paralyzed! #so trying to find solutions is 10x harder! fuck me! #i just want to feel normal

[hauntedbythenarrative]

I'm so tired of everything

#when can i get my period so my hormones can chill for a sec? #period aside i feel like crap #i just want to feel normal #emma and her stupid vent

[viaravt]

There's just some stuff I need to get off my chest I think. Time to bitch into to the void I guess.

In 2021, I had an arthritis flare which lasted for nearly a year. I'd already been quarantined for about a year because of the pandemic. Nobody really came to see me. I was extremely lonely until I discovered fandom and RPing on discord.

That kept me going for the entire year, until I got on medication which made the pain stop. Now, while I can leave the bed and even walk without a cane, I still can't leave the house because my immune system is suppressed from the medicine.

Things were kinda good for a while, actually. But this past month, I feel like everyone is just too busy or not interested in me anymore. People I used to chat with every day don't even send me a single message, even when I try to reach out.

I'm lonely again. I'm having the bad thoughts again. And there's no one I have left to talk to except my partner, who is going through his own shit.

I'm not a danger to myself or others. For now at least. But I'm not doing well either. If this is all there is, if this is all that there's ever going to be, then why WOULD I want to exist?

I know, I do, that I feel this way now and I will not feel this way soon.

I know that the aphorisms, even if I hate them, are right.

This, too, shall pass - blah blah,

Darkest - blah blah - dawn.

And I know, it's rude to leave your messes for someone else.

But consider also that I'm a mess, and I make people deal with me pretty constantly.

Consider that most of every day is me crying alone in a car or bedroom.

Over nothing.

Goddamn nothing.

And consider this is supposed to get better as I get older

And it's getting worse.

No one warned me that I would just get more anxious.

Consider the future, and how I've seen it.

And maybe it's not worth seeing again.

#Lonely #Just bitching #i just don't care #i just want to feel normal #i just want to be okay #But I'm starting to think I never will

[thatnewcarsmeli]

Flay my flesh for when I die

I wish to enter heaven clean.

Absolved of sins

I can hurt no more

Crucified by your hands

I dissolve my self

Bleed me holy whispers my voice

My skin as my prison

Tainted as beloathed

Sorrowful as Scared

Hallowed by birth

Dammed by choice

Bleed me holy whispers my voice

#religious #Christianity #religious trauma #poem #trans poem #trans poetry #religious poem #religious poetry #my poem #I feel like this a lot #i just want to feel normal #trans #transgender #Altho I’m tech non-binary #whatever

[rovena996]

been off my antidepressants bc i don't have a lot left and im waiting to get my insurance but uh i'd so much rather be "numb" or "zombiefied" than angry and sad all the fucking time. my emotions are literally bouncing off the walls and smashing me in the head.

#personal #id also like different antidepressants #and maybe antipsychotics bc ive heard they can help w some autism symptoms and anger/selfharm stuff #or maybe stimulants but idk how those work w antidepressants #i just want to feel normal

[leadergorilla]

another night hating wanting to sleep and waste valuable time i could spend elsewhere and be productive

and im gonna have to spend it making sure i can be at work at 6 am (in 5 hours) and work 8 hours then go straight to the dentist for my super fucked teeth and i dont even know if ill be insured or if my plans been terminated since i left my old job

I've been trying to find the stuff to access the private info for my current job for like 30 mins now to make sure I can at least swap plans and im not about to drop money i cant afford to drop rn but i cant focus on a single task for more than five minutes because of what i realized only recently is probably unmedicated adhd or smth ive had all my life that i bet would of made highschool and my teens so much less of a mess and explains a lot of how I act. All while I feel like a walking husk from lack of sleep powered by monsters that i'm not drinking currently because i've been stressing about my teeth and dont want to make shit any worse than it already it.

I just want to feel normal and function.

#vent post #idek man #I just want to feel normal #insomia

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[sapphicslut777]

my 5th consecutive day sober is proving to be a challenge….

#into the ether #i need weed so badly #this SUCKS #why is my car a piece of absolute shit #i hate this #i just want to feel normal

[unkn0wnusererr0r]

I am tired…

I am tried of having constant brain fog..

Of being so low energy and drained all the time, I’m trying.

Of feeling like I’m stupid all the time and it further getting dug in all the time…

Of being so fucking stressed all the time but too foggy to even give a shit what’s going on…

Of being horny 24/7 and feeling guilty about it and like its annoying and a burden for constantly thinking and talking about sex, for constantly craving physical touch and not to be wanted but to needed in that way - for wanting to feel attractive and sexy - for being sad that I don’t get horny tweets

Of my brain literally always throbbing, ALWAYS lately, it won’t stop

Of being paranoid and thinking I see people then they aren’t there anymore

For feeling like I’m a burden to my family because of my mental health

Of feeling guilty for having poor mental health

I miss having money…

And a quality of life

And friends

And creative flow

And hobbies

And feeling worthy and attractive

And pretty much I’m just tried and miss being myself, not that I even know who that is anymore

Reminding my self it isn’t always going to be this way is getting really really hard, everything won’t stop. I just need it to stop. I just need something good, something to relieve some of the pressure.

I want to fold in to myself so deeply that I simply disappear, there wouldn’t be a chance to miss me because you would have never known I existed

#I don’t even know what’s real anymore #I don’t even know what’s good anymore #I can’t even remember the good things and good times because I don’t know if they were real #I don’t know anything about my life anymore #I never thought I would question things this much #I just want to feel normal

[freitag1607]

1.05 / Battle of the Labyrinth

#I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS #percy jackson #pjo tv show #percy jackson and the olympians #pjotv #percabeth #pjo #screaming crying #mine #100 #500 #1k #5k #im in the middle of packing and this sent me frantically looking for my copies of pjo #anyway #i feel so insane i feel like im gonna die can anyone hear me. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #annabeth has been so disconnected from the mortal world and just so fundamentally unable to enjoy her childhood #it makes me want to sob like seriously #i hope her and percy go on so many movie dates. like #not even just her and percy i hope percy tells grover and word spreads around camp and movie nights just become a thing at camp #because all these babies deserve it #god im gonna die. im seriously gonna die #WE KNOW THERE'S AN ORIENTATION VIDEO #SO THEY HAVE A PROJECTOR AND A SCREEN #MOVIE NIGHTS COULD HAPPEN!!! #okay bye. i'm going to go scream about percabeth some more

[ayilings]

in the sunlit garden, holding hands / because i’ve never forgotten our promise, i’ve come all this way at last

#revolutionary girl utena #utenanthy #shoujo kakumei utena #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #rgu #utena x anthy #sku #that hazel video where shes like girls kissing as though in a holy marriage #??? feels not normal about themb #i just wanted to draw them going mwah #<- unwell #art #lgbtqia #lesbian #2023 #ayilings

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[chaos-bringer-13]

I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™

Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.

Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.

We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.

And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.

It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?

Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.

#DO YOU SEE MY VISION #please #I'm not getting enough sleep #my brain is obsessed with weird stuff #I want Sam who barely looks human because she's one with nature #I want Tucker who looks regal and dangerous in his pharaoh clothes #I want Dan look like he can destruct the Earth with a wave of his hand #I want Dani who is everything there is in the world and you feel it in your bones #I want Jazz who sees your soul and your mind and you know it and there's nowhere to run #I want JL to meet all of them before meeting Danny #I want all of them to admit in their different ways that Danny is the greatest of them #I want JL to be VERY worried about meeting Danny #and then I want Danny to be as normal and friendly as possible #and I want him to treat all those eldritch creatures (his family and friends) as they're regular humans and nothing is weird about them #just hugs and love and praises #because it would cause so much confusion #this is NOT ghost king Danny #unless it is but he doesn't know (and either no one knows or no one told him because it's funnier this way and he's super oblivious) #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #DPxDC #DCxDP #danny phantom #isn't a crossover if you don't want it to be #could be any crossover if you do want it to be

[gravitysoda]

refusing an impossible wish and settling for one last game of chess.

#p5 #persona 5 #shuake #akeshu #p5r #persona 5 royal #goro akechi #akechi goro #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #joker #joker persona 5 #soda art #the artbook gave me brainrot and the strength to make a COMIC. extreme rarity for me #akechi in 3rd sem having a wish to play chess with joker in a world where theyre both happy and are able to lead normal lives is just...aug #but the fact of the matter is that he can't have that without sacrificing his free will and everything he stands for #so in this scenario i thought he could ask for a small microcosm of that wish #at least he gets another game with joker - even if he wants to play many more he'll settle for just one #they still can't play together without the baggage and without akechi feeling that he's burdening ren #but at least it's something. at least akechi gets to spend a little more time with him #and akechi makes a concerted effort to push ren away in the 3rd sem to avoid attachment #so this would be a “selfish”/vulnerable request on his part since it's something he wants but is sentimental #and will only make it harder for ren to lose him in the end #ANYWAY !!! they make me crazy <3