#i just want to be normal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kittenplath · 4 months

Text

all a girl desires is to be perfect

84 notes · View notes

carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 1 year

Text

I’m so fucking tired

#op #how many fucking times is my leg just going to STOP FUCKING WORKING #HOW LONG MUST I LANGUISH IN HELL BEFORE GOD (orthopedic surgeons) DELIVER ME FROM HELL (having both legs)#literally just TAKE IT OFF IM TIRED I CANT HANDLE THIS ANYMORE #im all out of tears left to cry #I just want to be normal #I can’t work and I’m broke and I’m fucking scared #I can’t handle this I was never going to be able to do this alone it just isn’t possible for me #I was simply never meant to make it this far #god is nerfing me in punishment for not offing myself at 17

42 notes · View notes

life1tself · 1 month

Text

i hate being disabled sometimes because doing things i enjoy and make me happy in the moment always end up with me needing 2-4 business days to recover

#life.txt #the pain worsens…. my fawkin Joints bro #i dont wven have enough spoons rn to get off the floor and put my comfy clothes on #how am i supposed to go back out later??? i already said i would hang out #i just want to be normal

3 notes · View notes

x-itzzzzzz-x · 2 months

Text

my emotions are so extreme it’s actually like painful i hate it so so much

everything is always x100 or numb and i’m sick of it

i just want to feel good and for small things not to make me feel suicidal like i genuinely don’t have control over how i feel and i hate it

#is this autism #i think so #autism #this is a cry for help #i gen can’t control how i feel #n it hurts #n ruins so much #it’s so frustrating #i just want to be normal #so badly #lonelly #social anxiety #tw vent #actually autistic #rsd #bpd #maybe bpd #tw sui ideation #left behind

5 notes · View notes

tinytrashkid · 1 year

Text

today is just one of those days where it feel like it would be better to just end it…

#i’m an annoyance and a nuisance #no one in my family is patient enough to deal with me #maybe my older brother but my sisters aren’t #i feel so alone when i’m with my family #tinytrashkid #i just want to be normal #autistic #autism #depressing thoughts #depressed #depression #depressive thoughts #actually autistic #actually autism #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #i always feel so lonely when i’m in the same room as my sisters #i’m just nothing but a punching bag for them #and i’m honestly sick of it #like i don’t do anything but be myself and they treat me like shit #my older brother does sometimes #i just don’t understand why they can’t learn to be patient with me after all these years #and after finding out i’m autistic #it doesn’t seem to bother them and they keep treating me how they always do #and it’s the reason i stay quiet and don’t say anything #i get judged so much from everyone else #i don’t need it from my family #i try so hard and for what?#for me to isolate myself my whole life to avoid them getting upset with me or picking on me #none of them seem to understand or want to understand what i go through

31 notes · View notes

lunaiz4-misc · 6 months

Text

As an ND kid, I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to "be normal." I thought that's what I wanted, to be just like everyone else.

I didn't.

I wanted, and still want, to be *treated* just like everyone else. Not a weirdo, not some kind of subhuman, not even a genius. Just like everyone else. Only, not in the "equally" sense, but in the "equitably" sense. Because understanding NT communication is tricky for me, and that puts me on unequal footing with an NT person being treated "the same."

I want people to look past the fact that I can, with a significant and painful effort on my part, interact with them in the way that they're used to and actually put in a smidge of effort to try my way. Because it makes me feel seen, and heard, and valued. Because before I could even learn to communicate their way, I had to learn to want to. To see and hear and value *them.* In a sense, the fact that I can communicate at all is such a monumental demonstration of *love* for humankind and desire for companionship. They don't seem to realize that, and I wish they would.

I don't want to be them - I want to be me. But I want them to see me, hear me, and maybe even love me back. And that's what little me meant when she said she wanted to be "normal."

#autism #nuerodivergent #fitting in #i just want to be normal #but not by changing myself #by changing the definition of normal

5 notes · View notes

thedarkestforest425 · 11 months

Text

Fake happy

Do I actually feel things or do I just feel the chemicals being pumped threw me. I take the pills to feel normal, to feel happy, but is anyone really happy? The outer layer of calm the small white pills give me drapes over my skin, until I'm being crushed by the weight of nothingness. I try to claw my way back to the surface, but I'm being chained down by the panic of what would be out there. What does it feel like to escape? I've been locked in the prison of my own body for so long I've forgotten what anything other than these confiding walls feel like. Can I feel the warmth of fresh air spread threw your lungs; what about the loving embrace of someone else? Can I feel anything other than the bland and dull world that's around me? Can I ever be considered normal?

#why dont you love me #unreality #medication #happy pills #liminal #depression #anxitey #spilled feelings #feelings #why do i keep doing this #why do i feel this way #i just want to be normal

8 notes · View notes

bilestat · 4 months

Text

I hate living like this hearing a single chew of gum should not make me want to scream and bash my head into a wall

#I wish gum were fucking illegal #genuinely do not know how to make people without misophonia understand how terrible it feels to live like this #because on top of the horrible emotions I experience while being triggered #I also have to deal with the emotional fallout #whether that’s feeling guilty or just wanting to cry from the stress or dealing with how my reactions make other people feel #I hate my stupid fucking brain I hate whatever the hell type of thing you wanna categorize this shit as #I just want answers and to be fixed but that’s never going to happen in my lifetime #and this shit just gets worse as time goes on so that’s cool that’s great #to be deleted #personal #self harm mention #just in case #I just want to be normal #I’m so tired of this #it’s been like 2/3 of my life #and the judgment and weird looks and lack of understanding from people makes it all so much worse

5 notes · View notes

kittenplath · 3 months

Text

forced to grow up young to obsessed with girlhood pipeline

55 notes · View notes

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

Text

Tw suicide

Girlfriend thinks I might have glaucoma 😀 I might actually just kill myself

Glaucoma could cause blindness, meaning I would lose not only *even more of my independence* but also the only hobbies I value like drawing and such. It would also mean I can no longer take the majority of antidepressants, which I need. Literally the only reason I've been not attempting is because I'm waiting to get back on my meds

#istg i have too many problems. i need this to stop #i need life to stop giving me every disease possible im tired ;-;#i can only take so much #girlfriends like 'but you coyld get a service dog!' :D like thats cool but I DONT LIKE DOGS #i dont want a service dog i want to be okay!!!#i also know i would never go anywhere anyways. my anxiety is way too bad #i couldnt handle the anxiety and extra work of not only taking care of an animal but also going out in public with a visible aid #i cant handle people coming up to me and asking questions or staring me #i dont want to be noticed i just want to disappear #i just want to be normal

7 notes · View notes

unlovablereject · 7 months

Text

Haven't been sleeping much at night. I had a meltdown at 5am. My wife's work schedule is now at a later hour, so my body is getting used to it. It feels so hot in our bedroom I wake up parched and not able to breathe well. The air feels so hot.

Then things just didn't go as planned.

My wife said a comment that I misunderstood, and it made me feel hurt and, I guess, betrayed? I stormed off crying with my earbuds in.

Lately, everything is too much. It's too bright, too loud, I even get upset by the vibration in my throat for talking, especially with such a stutter. It feels too much, it smells too much, the story is taking too long, and im getting agitated... I've been sleeping a lot to avoid being over stimulated. It's exhausting, then that meltdown triggers the bpd, and then things just get... not good.

I just want to be normal. And yes there is a fucking normal we all know it that aren't. So stop telling us there is no normal. To us there is. At least to me.

#autistic meltdown #easily sent into sensory overload which leads to meltdown #sensory overload #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd splitting #bpd #autism #actually bpd #actually borderline #bpd blog #actually autistic #autism vent #i just want to be normal

2 notes · View notes

black-arms-hivemind · 9 months

Text

I hate being a fictive so much why can't I just be a normal person

-♦️💫

#vent #this is about recent things mainly but also more in general too #i hate having a name that makes me obviously a fictive #i hate having a lot of source trauma that is stupidly specific #and I hate that my partners can't express love for me without being seen as fucking creeps #i just want to live a normal life #i just want to be normal #hive shad

4 notes · View notes

rottingdeth · 10 months

Text

I honestly fucking hate how people on Tiktok are calling themselves “delulu”

Like

Omg yes! I love being sooo delulu, I just love it whenever I get thoughts of how people secretly hate me and are planning to kill me and that people are stalking my every move 🤪🤪

#vent #small rant #i just want to be normal #i hate being like this

2 notes · View notes

zuble · 1 year

Text

i’ve been getting very bad at reading and remembering texts the last few months. i’ve accidentally flaked out on people because i thought we were meeting a different day. i’ve been woken up by angry knocking because i didn’t realize i had made plans for that morning. i scheduled rides to and from the cities for a party later this month, only to realize i had the dates all wrong and had to reschedule everything. i’ve read texts that i could’ve sworn said “today” but actually said “tomorrow.” i’ve been so incredibly stressed and caused stress for others, just because i can’t fucking read and interpret things correctly.

autism moment lol

#the lol is sarcastic i hate being like this #i just want to be normal

6 notes · View notes

x-itzzzzzz-x · 2 months

Text

i don’t want to be me

i want to feel like a real person i want to be better and happy i don’t want this

i’m so done i just want to give up i just can’t anymore

#i’m so tired #i’m fed up #idk how to function #i just want to be normal #but i can’t #i hate this so much #autism #lonelly #social anxiety #tw vent #actually autistic #rsd #left behind #tw sui ideation

3 notes · View notes