#i just want fiddleford mcgucket to kiss EVERYONE

[thelastspeecher]

Best Revenge AU - Finally, Some Ford Content

Ford has been suspiciously absent from all of the ficlets I’ve posted thus far in this AU, and while I’ve talked a bit about his role, I haven’t gone too in depth.  So, here, for everyone craving some Best Revenge AU Ford, I’m here to satisfy that craving.  Finally, some Ford content.  Enjoy.

—————————————————————————————— 

              Ford slowly woke up.

              Shit.  I stayed the night, didn’t I?  He sat up. The man he’d slept with the night before was already up and getting dressed.

              “Mornin’.”

              “Good morning,” Ford said hesitantly, realizing to his horror that he couldn’t remember the man’s name.  “Um…”

              “I can make ya some breakfast ‘fore I send ya on yer way,” his one-night-stand said.  “I’ve got to check in on my sister first; she’s startin’ a new job today. You can find yer way to the kitchen and make yourself some coffee while I’m talkin’ to her.”

              “…Okay,” Ford mumbled.  The man finished dressing and left the room.  Ford hesitated for a moment before dressing as well.  He exited the bedroom.

              Which way is the kitchen?  Ford chewed on the inside of his cheek and turned left. He followed the hallway down to a living room.  One corner of the room had a colored rug, baby toys, and a playpen.  He said that he lived with his sister, right? Maybe she has a child.  Ford wandered into the adjacent kitchen.  His jaw dropped.  There was someone sitting at the kitchen table.  Someone he recognized.

              “Holy shit, Stan?!” Ford said.  Stan looked up with a frown.

              “Hey, keep it down around Junior.”  His eyes widened.  “Ford?!”

              “I- you-”  Ford’s gaze landed on the infant in Stan’s arms, greedily drinking from a bottle of milk.  “Is- is that your child?”

              “Yeah.”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck.  “…Sorta.”

              “What do you mean by-” Ford started.  He was interrupted by the arrival of his one-night-stand.

              “Oh, I see ya met my sister’s boyfriend,” he said. Stan groaned loudly.

              “Lute.  How dark was the nightclub where you found last night’s lay?”

              “Didn’t pick him up at a nightclub.  Found him at the library when I dropped off books fer Angie,” Lute said cheerfully.

              “Look at his face.”

              “Hmm?”  Lute looked at Ford.  He paled. “…Oh.”

              “You managed to hook up with my no-good twin,” Stan said.  The infant in his arms began to fuss.  “Aw, it’s okay Junior,” Stan cooed.  “I know, Uncle Ford is scary, especially his face.”  Ford crossed his arms.

              “We have the same face, Stanley.”

              “Since Lute didn’t realize we were related when he picked you up, I don’t agree,” Stan said tartly.  Ford sighed.  “You better get going before you make Junior even more upset.”

              “I’m not going anywhere until I find out what you’ve been up to and why you’re holding an infant that you said is ‘sort of’ yours,” Ford said firmly.  Stan scowled.

              “Lute, kick him out, will ya?”

              “No.”

              “Lute-”

              “I think it might be good fer the two of ya to reconnect,” Lute said.  “Don’t you think the lil bean would like an uncle from yer side?”

              “He won’t know what he’s missing.”

              “Okay, fine.”  Lute smirked.  “How do ya think Angie would want ya to act under this circumstance?”  Stan glared at him.  “You know full well that Angie would want ya to use this opportunity to reunite with yer twin.”

              “…Fine.”  Stan adjusted his hold on the infant.  “Why didn’t you come to the kitchen with Ford, Lute?”

              “I wanted to check in on Angie, but she’s still sleepin’.”

              “Yeah.  Since she’s starting her new job, I figured I’d feed Junior.”  Stan grinned down at the infant.  “He can’t be happy he’s getting his breakfast from a bottle instead of a boob.”  Lute rolled his eyes.

              “Crass, Stanley.”

              “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

              “You catch up with yer twin while I whip up some eggs,” Lute instructed, already opening the fridge.  Ford walked over to the table and sat in the chair next to Stan. He peered closely at the infant.

              “So…”

              “So…” Stan parroted.

              “What’s his name?”

              “Stanley Junior,” Stan said.  He frowned.  “Well, he’s not really a Junior, since he’s got his mom’s last name instead of mine. But he’s named after me, so we call him Junior.”

              “Ah.  And, um, how old is he?”

              “Four months.”

              “Four months?  Are babies supposed to be that small at four months?”

              “Doc says he’s definitely smaller than average, but that he can probably catch up pretty quick,” Stan answered.  He removed the now empty bottle from Junior’s mouth, then burped him.  “He’s a good kid.”

              “Is he yours?” Ford asked.  Stan set the empty bottle on the table.  “You said he ‘sort of’ was.”

              “If you were anyone else, I woulda left that part out,” Stan muttered.  “I hate your guts, but I’m not used to lying to you.”

              “Pardon?”

              “Biologically, he’s not mine.  He’s my girlfriend’s ex-husband’s.  But with how bad things got between Angie and Max, she decided not to tell him about Junior.”

              That’s a strange coincidence.  Didn’t Max Hillcrest at work recently go through a divorce?  What was his wife’s name again?

              “I was dating Angie, so I stepped up,” Stan continued with a shrug.  “And Angie named her kid after me.  I’m the only dad this little bean’s ever known.  If things go well, I’ll be the only dad he ever knows.”

              “Little bean?”

              “That’s what Angie called him while she was pregnant with him.  It stuck.” Stan smiled fondly at Junior. “Isn’t that right, bud?”  Junior giggled.

              “You’re raising another man’s child as your own?” Ford asked, his brain desperately trying to catch up with all he’d been told.

              “Yep.”

              “Why?”

              “I love Angie.  I love Junior.  Why wouldn’t I?” Stan asked, a hint of a bite to his tone.  Junior settled in his arms, smacking his lips happily.

              “Fair enough,” Ford said, deciding to back off. Some tension left Stan’s shoulders. “Other than dating pregnant women and taking in their children, what have you been doing since we last spoke?”

              “You mean, since Pops kicked me outta the house and you didn’t say anything or use your power to summon me in secret at any point for years,” Stan said flatly.  Ford opened and closed his mouth a few times.

              “…Yes.”  Ford cleared his throat.  “When we were younger, I remember you wanting to follow in Mom’s footsteps.  I haven’t seen any pyro heroes around here, though.”

              “Hold up, what?” Lute asked.  The brothers looked over.  Lute stared at Stan in shock.  “Stanley, you wanted to be a hero when you were a kid?”

              “Most supers do.  And like Ford said, our mom was a hero.  I looked up to her.”  Lute was still staring at Stan.  Stan sighed. “Obviously I didn’t do that, Gucket.”

              “Yer mom is a hero?”

              “Retired.  What’s with the third degree?”

              “You understand why that information is important in our line of work, right?” Lute prompted.  “Does Angie know?”

              “Duh.”

              “Why don’t I?”

              “‘Cause I’m not sleeping with you,” Stan snapped. “Even though I’m apparently your type.” Lute turned red.

              “Wait.”  Ford held up his hands.  “Wait. Stanley, am I reading between the lines properly?  Are you- are you a villain?”

              “Maybe I am.  Maybe I’m not,” Stan said.  He met Ford’s eyes.  “But whether I am or not, you know better than to snitch.”  Footsteps sounded.  Stan looked over.  An exuberant smile broke across his face.  “Look who it is!  The hot new professor!”  Ford looked as well.  A young woman stood in the doorway, wearing athletic shorts and a T-shirt she was practically swimming in.

              Presumably, it’s one of Stan’s.  The woman smiled at Stan.

              “I don’t mind it much when ya say it, but I sure hope no one at work calls me that.”

              “If any creepy coworkers do, let me know,” Stan said.  “I’ll handle it.”  The woman grinned viciously.

              “Oh, darlin’, ya know I’m fully capable of handlin’ it myself.”  Stan grinned back.

              “Good point.”  He held up Junior.  “Junior, say hi to your mama.”

              “Aw, he’s too young to talk yet,” the woman cooed. She walked over to Stan, took Junior from him, and sat at the table.  “And I don’t know if his first word ‘ll be ‘hi’.”  She began to lift her T-shirt.

              “Whoa, hey, uh, Ang, you don’t need to whip your boobs out,” Stan said quickly, glancing at Ford in distress.  “I fed him while you were sleeping.”

              “Oh.”

              “Also, we have a guest.”

              “Hmm?”  The woman lowered her shirt and looked up.  “Oh, my apologies.”  She smiled at Ford.  “My name is Angie McGucket.”  Ford felt himself pale.

              McGucket?

              “Dr. Angie McGucket,” Stan corrected.  Angie chuckled.

              “Yes, I have a doctorate,” she said.  She cocked her head, her eyes boring into Ford. “I’m guessin’ yer Stan’s no-good twin I’ve heard so much about.”

              “I- uh-” Ford stammered, still reeling from hearing his ex’s last name dropped so casually.

              “Geez, you make it sound like all I do is talk about Ford,” Stan said, rolling his eyes.  “That’s wrong.  All I do is talk about you and Junior.”  Angie laughed.

              Angie and Lute do appear to have the same nose as Fiddleford.  How could I have been so blind?

              “So, Stanford, what brings ya here?” Angie asked.

              “I brought him home last night,” Lute said.

              “Hmm, that seems out of character fer ya,” Angie said to Ford.  She shrugged. “Just goin’ off the stick-in-the-mud that Stan described to me.”

              “Why do you keep insulting me?” Ford asked. “This is the first time we’ve met.”

              “Maybe, but I also feel like I know ya pretty well,” Angie replied.  She bounced Junior in her arms.  “Stan took a while to start tellin’ me ‘bout ya, but once he did, he had a lot to say.” She smiled.  “Most of it was negative, sure, but some of it was positive.”

              “Angie, shouldn’t ya be gettin’ ready fer work?” Lute asked.  Angie groaned.  “I’ll make ya some nice breakfast while ya dress ‘n whatnot.”

              “Ugh.  Fine.” Angie handed Junior back to Stan, kissed his cheek, and left the room.  Ford coughed politely.

              “I, um, I should probably leave,” he said. Lute looked over.

              “Ya don’t want to stay fer breakfast?”

              “Your sister isn’t the only one who has a shift starting soon.”

              “Shift, huh?” Stan said, raising an eyebrow.  “Where’s the big shot genius working?”

              “Well, uh…”  Ford rubbed the back of his neck.  “I have been working on my own personal research, but to pay the bills, I’m currently employed as an executive assistant.”  Stan snickered.

              “Isn’t ‘executive assistant’ just a fancy word for ‘secretary’?” he asked.  Ford flushed. “You better get going, then.  Whatever doctor’s office you work for definitely needs you manning the front desk.”

              “Stanley,” Lute scolded.  Ford swallowed his retort.

              He’s been remarkably civil, let him be childish for one moment.

              “…See you later?” he suggested.  Stan froze.  “I mean, the fact that we were able to talk without fighting is, I think, a good sign that we can bury the hatchet.”

              “Ford.”  Stan met Ford’s eyes.  “Junior was here the whole time.  That’s why I didn’t shout or knock your block off.”

              “…Oh,” Ford said softly.

              “But…”  Stan sighed. “I’m not against making up.  Just know that the next time you and I are in the same room, it’s open season if Junior’s not there.”

              “Fair enough.”  Ford managed a smirk.  “I think you’d be surprised by how well I can hold my own now.”  Stan rolled his eyes.  “Goodbye, Stanley.”  Ford leaned over to smile at Junior.  Junior stared at him with wide eyes.  “Goodbye, Junior.”  Junior giggled.

              “Bye,” Stan grunted.  Ford waved goodbye to Lute and walked out of the house.  Beeping sounded from his pager.  He pulled it out of his pocket with a sigh.  The message made him sigh again.

              I swear, I’m the only person who can fix the wifi at work.  Everyone else either doesn’t know how or isn’t willing to do one of the secretary’s responsibilities.  Ford shook his head.  He put his pager away and began the long walk to work.  A building full of superheroes and not one of them can unplug a router.

#I've also got another ficlet in the works that involves none other than the legendary Ma Pines herself #but here's some Ford stuff for now. hope it scratches that itch. #Best Revenge AU #Stanford Pines #Lute McGucket #Stanley Pines #Angie McGucket #Stangie Family #Stangie #ficlet #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks #Junior Pines

[rhodochrosite-love]

WOW everyone who commented on my Wirt birthday post are amazing!

Here’s the au I’ve been working on where it started off as just a Ford Pines self insert, but turned into very interesting idea!

Stanley is kicked out and Ford goes to Backupsmore, while Penny stays in Jersey to help pay off her childhood home’s mortgage. All in the early 1970s.

Ford is awarded a doctorate 3 years ahead of schedule, and prepares to move to Gravity Falls, Oregon in 1973.

In the same instant, Ford gets a call from his parents and after he tells them he’s moving to the northwest, they inform him of Penny living with them. Shocked, Ford is conflicted. Should he go to his sweetheart? He couldn’t imagine what could’ve happened that made her stay in his parents home… After consulting with Fiddleford, he quickly travelled back to Jersey to confront Penny.

Penny explains that she couldn’t take care of the house like she thought she could, what with her book-keeping job as well as her secretary position AND the pressure from it all really weighing her down. She couldn’t help her home anymore so she turned to the only people she knew left in Glass Shard-- Filbrick and Caryn Pines. She had been pulling her weight with buying food, despite Caryn’s pleas to rest whenever she could and her job offers.

Ford listened and took her side. He said he was moving out West to Oregon and had wanted her to come with him. He missed her dearly and could clearly see she needed to get away-- Jersey is no place for a princess.

She accepts in a heartbeat at the thought of living out there, alone with her sweetheart amongst the wood.

1972-1979 Penny and Ford start a life of adventure in Gravity Falls up in their cabin in the woods, catalouging new anomalies every day! After such a hard time, Penny adores the relaxing atmosphere and spending time with her boyfriend after 3(ish) years.

C. 1976 Penny can’t help but begin to think about the future with Ford, and tries to decide whether or not they should marry. In her heart she knows she wants to, but in her mind she feels as though Ford wouldn’t be as on board for whatever reason. After speaking with Susan (Lazy Susan) and Lana (Wendy’s mom), her newfound friends, she decides she has to speak with Ford!

After being avoided most of the day by her beloved (due to him being very distracted by the mystery of the Hide-Behind, and eventually their unavoidable run-in with it. emotional scenes with Penny’s annoyed tone) At the end of the day, Ford admits over dinner that he was avoiding her for the whole day due to his nervousness. After being asked why, he tells her that… “I’ve been fascinated by anomalies my whole life-- the Hide-Behind, the Gnomes, the Eyebats, that UFO theory I’ve still got stuck in my head--” “Stanford, please.” “--Even I, as normal as I may seem, my six fingers made me who I am today! … But… “ Ford reaches in his coat’s pocket, and pulls something from it and places it on the dinner table. “You, Penelope Wright, have been the one thing that’s done both for me-- Fascinated me, baffled me, cherished me, twirled me ‘round and ‘round again ‘til I was dizzy with delight.” “Ford, what’re ya sayin’?” “Penny, dearest... “ He reveals the item, it being a ring with the sweetest red gem in its center shaped like a rounded heart. Penny sniffled, “The apple… Stanford, you’re such a prince!” Before he could utter those four simple words, Penny kissed him breathless. When she pulled away, he was flushed from his ears to his nose and asked her then, whispered against her lips. She said yes, and then many times that night.

C. 1977 Bill realizes his plan is being challenged by this engagment! He had never thought of Penny to be a true problem until now, what with the now foretold probability of the wedding and children as a distraction! Bill makes a deal with Lana to guide Ford to the cave in which Bill was scribed by the natives in exchange for a long life. Ford summons Bill and to no avail, nothing happens until Ford falls asleep.

It was then Ford dreams about Bill and begins to work with him to open his dimension to study the weirdness of Gravity Falls and beyond.

With the new development in the mysteries, the wedding is delayed and Ford and Penny become very busy in their new findings with Bill’s help.

C. 1978 Fiddleford McGucket is employed as the head engineer in building the Portal to the other dimension. Upon hearing the news of Stanford’s engagment, he hoorah’d and congradulated his old roommate.

C. 1978-1979 The portal has been built, as well as the bunker and the second level of the basement. Fiddleford begins to despise his creation and begs Ford not to follow through with his plans and instead publish his findings and settle down properly with Penny. Ford declines and they move to test the portal the next day, Jan 18th 1979.

Jan 19th 1979. Fiddleford gets sucked into the portal, but then gets rescued by Penny and quits the whole she-bang.

Jan 20th, 1979. Bill sees that he has to manipulate Penny, too. She’d been taking Fidds’ side, and since she’s very close with Ford, it’s necessary. He enters her dreams and states that if she make a deal with him, he can make him see reality again. To Penny’s knowledge, Ford’s been driven to madness with his paranoia and struggles to see the light. Bill says that he can fix everything. If he ensconced a baby in Penny’s womb, one that’s both her’s and Ford’s completely, he will see the light again. In return, she has to take a hike. She makes the deal, and he ultimately sends her away. Confused, she cries. But when Bill explains that he basically makes her pregnant with a baby of a man that ‘doesn’t love her anymore’, and literally told her to ‘take a hike’. Embarrassed and humiliated, she flees into town and stays there, leaving Bill to torment Ford to his isoceles heart’s delight.

Sometime in October, before the 22nd, 1979. Penny gives birth to little Walter in Sacred Hirsch Community Hospital. At this point in time, Ford has been thrown into the portal by accident and Stanley has taken his place, in the process of making money for the new Murder Hut.

1980. Penny interrogates this new so-called Mr. Mystery, thinking he’s Ford. She rips at him, accusing him of neglecting her and hurting her. A lot of anger comes out, as well as sadness and despair and raw misery when she says that he no longer cared about her, and she doubted he ever had in the first place. When Stan pulls her to the side and finally looks her in the face clearly (before he was frantically looking around the room, his hut full of customers), he recognizes her faintly as Penelope Wright, the girl Sixer was in kahoots with back in Jersey. He sees her and the now crying baby she’s holding and connects the dots, and is flabbergasted that he’s an uncle! Well, he was already an uncle but that was for Shermie! Penny argues that it was a mistake. Little Walter was the making of a demon named Bill Cipher, and she never should have trusted him. Stan then takes her down to the basement and shows her what he’s done.

1981. Penny gets a job as a waitress at Greasy’s Diner with a little help from Lazy Susan.

1982. Penny needs to start fresh. Despite the fact that she’s got a job and is living with Stanley with a 3 year old Wirt (despite being named Walter, his first word was an attempt at ‘squirt’, which was a nickname given to him by Stanley. Everyone simply calls him Wirt now), she misses all the adventure from when she had Ford. Realizing she’s missing Ford, that son of a bitch that fell into a hole so deep he couldn’t climb out, she needs to get away. She saves up money from her Greasy’s job and now the Mystery Shack (unofficially hired. Stan just says that she’s always rearranging and flipping stuff over and it happens to look nice so he gives her some funds. She’s tried to refuse the money before, but he intensly insisted that she take it.) and moves to Arizona. Teary goodbyes are made and she hugs Stan the tightest of all, telling him to keep in touch.

1983-1994. Walter “Wirt” Wright is living in Arizona with his mother, Penelope Wright.

C. 1985. Greg Universe visits town and performs a live gig and seduces Penny. After a couple of succesful dates, they end up having unprotected sex. Not long after, he leaves town for another gig in Delmarva, doing gigs along the way. She ends up falling pregnant and struggles to comprehend the consequences.

C. 1986. Gregory Wright is born.

C. 1994. Halloween night, Wirt and Greg experience an adventure in The Unknown.

1999. Mason and Mabel Pines are born from Randy Pines and Kathy Pines

(2003. Steven Universe is born from Gregory “Universe” DeMayo and Pink “Rose Quartz” Diamond. Everything that happens with Steven is seperate from Dipper, Mabel, Wirt, and Greg.)

Update - Summer 2012. Penny takes a vacation to Gravity Falls and visits the Mystery Shack. She marvels at Dipper and Mabel and exclaims their cuteness. Mabel likes her when she’s given a butterscotch, but Dipper can’t help but question her motives. She seems awfully close with Stan and gets along well with everyone! Is she hiding something?

All is well until Dipper catches Penny trying to steal Journal #3, and he fights with her over it in his bedroom. Penny falls down and cracks something, making her scream. Stan rushes upstairs and takes Penny away, giving Dipper a nasty stinkeye. He tries to argue that she was trying to take his Journal, and Stan reacts by taking it himself.

Stan and Penny argue in the basement, saying that Dipper should have the Journal back. Stan tries to argue that he shouldn’t, but gives in. After making photocopies, Penny gives it back to Dipper. At first Dipper is skeptical, but awes when she tears up in front of him about it.

“Wow… You really care about the author, don’t you?” “Yeah, we were close…” She sits down beside him, opening the Journal to the Gnomes. “I remember the first time we saw the gnomes together… They tried to take me as queen!” “No way! They took Mabel as queen two weeks ago!” DIpper interjected, to which Penny laughed. “That explains this, then!” She pointed her crooked finger to the words; “Weakness: LEAFBLOWERS!” They both laughed.

At the end of it all, Dipper trusted Penny infineitly more. He was also more curious, as she knew the author. She wouldn’t give him a straight answer, however. Just saying he reminded her of her own son, Walter.

Penny stays in Gravity Falls until the Twins’ Birthday is over and they’re heading off to California.

August 22-25 2012. Weirdmageddon takes place. Penny serves as a scavenger and is found by McGucket and taken back to the Mystery Shack to be protected. She joins in the fight to defeat Bill Cipher, and when everyone’s in the Fearamid, it’s the first time Penny’s seen Stanford in nearly 33 years. He begins by saying hello, and saying he missed her. Before he can say anything further, she hugs him tightly, saying that he can apologize later. He prepares to retort, but when seeing Fidds’ face in response, he quietly hushes and hugs her back.

August 28 2012. Ford apologizes for how he acted and what he had done to her, like he always should have. She tells him about their son Wirt and he’s shocked. She tells him the deal she made and how she moved out of the state. After that conversation he hugs her tight and says she never should have gone through that. If he were a better man back then, she wouldn’t have had to make a deal to have a baby.

The same day, Mabel secretly arranges a wedding for her Grunkle Ford and new ‘Grauntie Penny’. Stan is on the sidelines for the whole occassion, but finally takes his brothers side as the Best Man. Mabel is the flower girl and Dipper bares the rings, while Susan is her maid of honor. Stanford promises to protect and cherish her for as long as he lives. Penny promises to care for him and heal him when the times arise. They smooch after some crazy heartfelt vows, thus they are married.

October 15 2012. Penny and Ford celebrate Wirt’s 33rd birthday. Wirt still isn’t used to his dad but comes around when he sees just how quizzical he is. They’re so alike it’s crazy!

November 2012. Penny joins Stan and Ford on the Stan ‘O War II.

(just to keep track-- in 2020 Wirt is 41, Dip and Mabs are 21, Greg is 34, and Steven is 17)

Mans that’s what I have! I’d love to hear anything from y’all about this!

#long post #wirt otgw #greg universe #greg otgw #penelope wright #stanford pines #dipper pines #stanley pines #mabel pines #gravity falls #over the garden wall #otgw #steven universe #steven su #rose quartz #pink diamond #rose su #greg su #pd su #gravity falls oc #ford pines x oc #self insert #my post

[nerdangels]

gravity falls for the fandom ask!

Character I first fell in love with: I don't like the way this is worded but Dipper was the first character I felt I could relate to (being the protagonist I suppose)

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Stanley aaaaaaa. Also Fiddleford

Character everyone loves but I don’t: oh I didnt like Ford for a while until I finally realized that he wasnt the big bad of s2 but I'm over that now and while he's not my favorite I do really appreciate his character

Character I love but everyone else hates: Idk if people hated him (Alex sure seemed to at times) but Fiddleford Mcgucket

Character I used to love but don’t any longer: I liked gideon's character until they tried to shove in a redemption arc at the last minute in the finale like just let him be a nasty little child in peace

Character I would kiss: uhhh young Fiddleford

Character I want to slap: I'm going to punch bill cipher in his eye

A pairing I love: ford squared aka fiddauthor aka Fiddleford x ford

A pairing I hate: any and all involving inc*st and/or p*dophilia because god the fandom was sure full of that nasty shit

Thanks anna 💙

Send me a fandom!

#ask games #coulson-is-an-avenger #Amanda answers #gfalls

[sirkkasnow]

11 When Opportunity Knocks, Answer

Ao3 link

07/20/13 Saturday

Activity around the Shack kicked into overdrive through the next few days. Mabel scheduled her slumber party for Saturday evening, cackling in delight all the while as she took over the shared attic room for a thorough redecoration.

Dipper accepted his exile to the upstairs study with at least a little grace - he set up his laptop and and settled in for hours of journal work and game planning. The abortive DD&MD session was definitely back on for sometime early the following week.

Stan found himself pulled in too many directions at once. He squeezed in one more full day with Ford up at McGucket’s place working on the Fairlane, trying half in vain to dampen their more harebrained schemes. Apparently letting those two share the same space for any length of time resulted in exponential nerdery, or whatever the hell it meant when you got nerdery squared - he wasn’t sure but they made each other worse.

Soos sidled up to him early the following morning. “Hey, Mr. Pines, business is awesome! We’re in great shape to host the dance next week! Here’s the thing, though, I’m really close to having the new Dreaming Denizens darklight exhibit done.” He clasped hands together in anticipatory delight. “We could do a grand opening that night but I can’t find time between tours to work on the critters. Can you maybe help out for a day or so?”

So he’d had to leave the two lunatics unsupervised while he assembled a batch of fierce, hissing, taxidermied flying minks. There was no way to turn down Soos or an opportunity to upsell the dance tickets.

He cornered Ford for a lecture before Tate swung by to pick him up, something like that thing had better still be street legal when I get up there or so help me. Ford made a bunch of almost-certainly-hollow promises that they’d respect the sanctity of Clary’s mom’s precious vintage touring vehicle and that was that.

Stan put the whole thing out of his head for most of the day, focused on patching together the little monsters they’d need for the exhibit, and was washing up in the kitchen when he heard Clary’s level voice spike in surprise.

He stuck his head out into the hallway and found her by the side door, staring in disbelief at her phone. Ford’s voice was just audible on the speaker. " - sure you still want to keep the old paint color? This is a fine opportunity to change it if you'd like!"

She had a hand pressed to one side of her face, fingertips pushing in hard at the temple. "Ford, that was mint-condition factory-original paint when I got here. Arcadian Blue. What happened to the rest of it? You were just supposed to fix the hood!"

"Well, Fiddleford and I thought we'd rechrome everything while we had the opportunity, since we had the windshield out. Then we saw a chance to improve the safety features while we were at it - did you know cars of this vintage are practically death traps? I'll have to take it up with Stanley - " A distant, hollow boom sounded on the phone. Clary's visible eye squeezed tightly closed. "Whoops! I'll get back to you shortly!"

The line went dead.

Clary slumped against the wall for several seconds. “I have made a terrible mistake.”

He bit his lip and patted her shoulder warily. “I’ll, uh. I’ll give him a call an’ make sure they behave themselves. It won’t end up any more of a death trap than it was when y’got here.”

She laughed at that, the same ragged laugh he’d heard when the piston blew up in the first place, then looked up to him with a pinched smile. “You sure you mean that? I get the impression that those two can get a bit out of hand.”

Stan ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. About that. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve taken a day off, but we’re so close to havin’ the new display done...I’ll get up there an’ have it all under control before things get too weird.”

“Promise?”

“Trust me, sweetheart.”

She laughed at that, too, just a little cynical pfft, but her eyes softened in a way he very much liked and she hooked her index finger into his for a fleeting clasp. “I trust you,” Clary murmured. He damned near bent to kiss her right there before the racket of Dipper coming down the stairs set him rocking back two steps and clearing his throat.

Dipper paused before he made the left turn to the outside door, looking them over in scandalized confusion. Clary just smiled. “Good luck with the winged weasels, Stan. See you for dinner.”

By Saturday morning there was a menu tacked to the fridge. Clary’s tidy angular script promised things like ‘baking powder biscuits with honey butter’, ‘brown sugar bourbon baked beans’ and ‘deviled egg red potato salad’. She’d been running all over town with her little borrowed pickup to line up supplies.

At this point Stan was pretty sure anticipation might kill him if the stress of getting everything done on time and keeping the Fairlane project on track didn’t get him first.

He managed to swing by the manor to check on the station wagon - still blue, thank mercy, the hood now snapped back into its original shape and the cracked windshield replaced. Ford showed off the GPS they’d installed and McGucket chattered endlessly about the new frictionless coating they’d applied to the engine cylinders. Half of it went right over Stan’s head and at length he waved hands in frustration. “Just tell me it’s gonna run as well as it did before she got here!”

“Oh, much better!” they replied in tandem.

Stan stopped dead, squinted at their innocent faces in profound suspicion and groaned. “Y’know what. I don’t have time t’ double-check all this right now, you both know that, and so I’m leavin’ it to your tender care. I swear if anythin’ you two do harms a hair on her head, there’ll be hell t’pay. Got it?”

McGucket blinked in rheumy surprise. Ford had that faint thoughtful look Stan was getting really tired of, but he nodded in agreement. “You have my solemn word, nothing but some very minor improvements to safety features and performance. It’ll be more than safe enough to trust the kids in.”

“Fine. Fine. You’re both gonna sit down an’ explain everythin’ before she leaves, though.”

“Of course!” Ford’s most reassuring smile was in full force. Stan didn’t trust it for a second, but it would have to do for now.

There were a few more errands to run as the long afternoon wound down. Stan tacked up posters for ‘Mr. Mystery’s July Jamboree!’ around town as he went. By the time he finally pulled into Greasy’s he’d relaxed, humming an absent tune as he headed in to hang one last poster and pick up a coffee.

“Hey, Susan,” he called as he parked at the counter, swinging a look around the joint and its collection of regulars in for an early dinner. He was the center of attention, because of course he was and no one in this burg was any good at being subtle about it.

“Oh, Stan! It’s so nice to see you, sweetie,” she said in her usual tone of cheerful obliviousness. “How’s it been going this week? I hear the party’s going to be quite the thing!” Susan poured him a cup of familiar potent black sludge. “That tourist lady of yours has been through a couple of times. She’s really nice for an out-of-towner, good tipper and all. Was in the other day for breakfast, you know, wearing your jacket. Went pink as a petunia when I asked her about ya!” Her laugh was surprisingly sweet and she tugged her slack eyelid up, then down. “Wink!”

Stan busied himself with dumping too much sugar into his coffee. “Yeah, I mean, she’s all right I guess. Pretty good company for a hoity-toity type.”

“She came in yesterday asking about supplies.” Susan set her elbow on the counter and leaned in, conspiratorial. “Said she was gonna do a picnic at the Shack next Friday right before your big event.” Her voice dropped to a stage whisper. “Why, she asked if I could bake a couple cherry pies for her! What’re you up to, Stan?”

“Well. Y’know. An exclusive little gatherin’.” Stan settled himself, sat back and sipped slowly for effect. “Just friends an’ family.”

“I’m surprised she’s stuck around this long, nice city girl like that.” Blubs anchored the end of the counter, Durland seated one stool over and working his way through a ham-on-rye. “She has to have seen everything Gravity Falls has to offer by now. The Shack, the mall, the museum, the bottom of the lake….” Both of them chuckled over that one. “Maybe she should just hang up a shingle out there. We could use a lawyer.”

“Well, Stan could use a lawyer,” said Durland to a general rumble of laughter.

“You guys trashed her car, right?” came from one of the far corners. “That weird brother of yours made the brakes cut out or something so now she’s stuck here getting it fixed? We all know you’re too cheap to actually send it up to Portland.”

A prickle of annoyance nudged at the back of his eyeballs. “We offered and she decided she liked my face enough t’let us do the work. Should be done in a couple days. She’s just hangin’ around for the dance party.”

“Oh, I’m sure she likes ya, sugar.” Susan hid a giggle behind one hand.

Blubs tugged down his shades for a direct glance. “You did fish her out of the drink.”

Manly Dan scoffed from the far side of his mountain of meatloaf. “Stan Pines hasn’t managed to keep a lady around for more’n a couple days in all the years he’s been here. I’ll believe it when I see it!”

Stan slugged back a swallow of bitter, bitter coffee in an effort to not spout off, then did it anyway. “What, y’think we kidnapped her or somethin’? She’s here because she wants t’be!”

“Now calm down, all of ya.” Susan looked around the murmuring diner in reproach. “She’s been nothing but sweet to everyone in town. I’m sure it’s gonna be a real nice picnic.”

“Excuse me!” Mayor Cutebiker’s skinny arm went up from a few booths down. “Is that going to be included in the party ticket price? I need to know when I should show up!”

“What?” Stan’s shoulders twitched in surprise. “No, no, the party thing’s only for the dance, people.”

Dan bared teeth in one of his terrifying smiles. “I’d pay just to meet the woman willing to put up with Pines for three weeks.”

“What’s she serving, Stan?”

“Are you two going to dance?”

The whole place got the wrong idea in about three seconds. Stan could barely get a word in edgewise as conversation erupted, people pestering him about prices, about the new exhibit, about who’d be hosting the party that night.

Something snapped in the back of his brain.

“ALL RIGHT,” Stan roared, and the chattering crowd quieted in anticipation. “Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once: Miz Merrick’s willin’ to make a very limited number of tickets for dinner available. Eighty-five a head. That’ll get you into the dance party and the Dreamin’ Denizens exhibit, too. This is a one-time engagement, folks, the lady’s a class act an’ I’ve seen the menu. It’s gonna be an event for the ages.”

He zeroed in on the nearest pretty face, hit her dead on with the full-headlights smile and the finger-guns, and was gratified to see her half-swoon against her companion. “Whaddaya say? First come, first serve!”

Fistfuls of money appeared as if by magic. Stan leaned over to whisper to Susan. “Sweetheart, lend me that ticket book, would’ja?” Starry-eyed, she handed over both the book and her pencil stub, and he started scribbling out tickets for Clary Merrick’s Chicken Picnic! on two-part carbonless guest checks as fast as he could.

Half an hour later he was driving back up towards the Shack. Almost eighteen hundred bucks was jammed into his back pocket along with a stack of IOUs. He was already puzzling out where to beg, borrow or steal enough chairs and tables to accommodate a crowd this large, and wondering just how much fried chicken Greasy’s could crank out on like four days’ notice.

He was also figuring out how the hell to survive through the end of the day, because Clary was going to kill him.

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The whole diner erupts in excited conversation, and everyone in here has got the wrong idea. They want to come to Clary’s picnic! And they’re willing to pay for the privilege!

Absolutely not!

Talk up the dance instead.

Sell tickets!

#Gravity Falls #gfdatingsim #DDtMMW #Swooning Over Stans #Stanley Pines #OClicious #fanfic

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 10: Weirdmageddon Take Two, Gravity Falls No Longer Safe? (originally posted on September 28, 2018)

AN: And so begins Weirdmageddon once more. Greetings loyal readers to the final arc of Gravity Soul. With Gravity Falls now no longer safe from the madness of Kishin Cipher, the Mystery Meisters now fresh off of rescuing Pacifica must find another place to hide from him and pull off one last plan to stop him. Also in this arc will feature the usage of the Vigenere cipher which means whatever word that is highlighted in bold in the author's notes will be the key needed to decipher it. But enough for now, let's all return to the BUNKER. TIZOXZNYF DLV EUEUIJU MRMVVUM JOVV UBBEKYU NB LI CPMG LYK GCANMEH NUOQ TPGRC EK B WBCX KIY XOIGFL AOZVS CADIEEYQ DLVN NB LI WPOAN FLU HBG MK'T NUO SKIYE GEP BLBERU

They thought it was impossible. They thought they would come out of that mansion with at least a few physical scars. But no. They received mental scars instead from what the fusion of the dream demon and the Kishin inflicted on them. The rescue party looked upward at Kishin Cipher cackling maniacally with his head tossed back and hands in the air. He had won and Weirdmageddon began anew. "W-we lost." Kid stuttered in sheer disbelief, at both the monster's victory and his previously unknown connection to Asura. "And did he just sing a big musical number about how everything has gone to hell now?" Black Star wondered. "I mean, it honestly was a catchy tune, but was it necessary?" Stanford and Maka on the other hand had their backs turned away from the others and mourned the sacrifices of the people they cared for the most. Ford had lost his brother, his best friend, the very person who had spent thirty years trying to rescue him and now in a cruel twist of irony, he was the one that needed saving now. Maka had lost her weapon, her partner, the boy who had put his life on the line for her own safety, and now he was gone. "Soul..." "Stanley..." It wasn't long before the two of them embraced while breaking down into tears as the others looked on. Dipper tipped his hat in silence & Mabel cried as well and Crona & Spirit, the only family Maka had left now, tried to comfort the girl. "So where do we go from here?" Wendy asked. "FOOLS!" Excalibur cried breaking the silence. "There's no use in staying here now that Kishin Cipher's reigning supreme, so I suggest we find somewhere to hide." he declared. "But where? Pretty sure we can't go back to the Mystery Shack right now." Soos answered before the Holy Sword cut him off. "FOOL! Isn't there some kind of secret hiding place in these woods?" "Oh that's right, there's Ford's secret bunker!" Wendy suddenly realized. "We just gotta find it, rest up in there for a while and then form a plan!" she stated. "Good plan there Wendy, but where is it?" Tsubaki wondered. "The entrance's disguised as a tree, so we just gotta keep knocking on wood until we hit metal." "Yeah, Wendy's right." Dipper agreed wiping the tears from his eyes. "If only we still had Journal 3 with us, then we'd navigate it easily." he added glumly. Suddenly they all heard a rumbling noise that quietly erupted through the forest before an entire stampede of cryptids from across Gravity Falls charged right through them. "Hey pigtails, move it!" one of the gnomes shouted. "We're fleeing here!" a unicorn snidely added. "Whoa, what are they all running for?" Patty wondered. "And was that a unicorn?!" "You should get going too little one, Weirdmageddon is back!" a large bear with multiple heads stated before staring off into the distance with fear. "My lord, they're coming!" Just then, a group of demonic looking bears bounced across the trees with their teeth bared and eyes full of primal hunger. "Oh no, they're bouncing here and there and everywhere!" Soos cried. "Mass chaos that's beyond compare!" "Well what're we waiting for, to the bunker!" Dipper exclaimed preparing to lead everyone out of the forest before turning back to find Melody, Ghost-Eyes and Pacifica's mother still standing there. "Wait, aren't you coming?" "Sorry Dipper, but I think this might be too dangerous for all of us." Melody said. "We'll all still be here when you get back, hopefully." "Be safe out there Gideon." Ghost-Eyes said to his fellow ex-inmate. "You too old friend." Gideon replied and they fistbumped. "Pacifica, I want you to know that no matter how you feel about your father and I, we'll be there cheering you on against that monster." Priscilla said hugging her daughter. "And remember to thank your friends for saving us as well." "I will mother." Pacifica replied before they broke. "I promise I'll come back for you." Soos promised Melody. "I know you will dude." his fiancee replied and then they kissed. "All right, let's get moving everyone." Maka commanded and thus the remaining Mystery Meisters set off for the bunker.

"Anything yet guys?" Mabel asked as Black Star kept knocking on the trees hoping that one would lead them to the bunker. "Seems like we've been walking and hiding forever." "Nothing Mabel, we're getting in a rut." the ninja replied before they hid behind one of the trees away from the gaze of an Eyebat. "We need to be very very quiet everyone. Kishin Cipher's forces could strike at any minute." Ford stated quietly and they continued on their way. As the party snuck around the forest, they found numerous monsters unknowingly on their tail, such as a large humanoid vulture creature that made a strange whimpering sound, a strange dark blue android with a green symbol on its chest & red fins sticking out the back of its head, a bipedal jackal wearing a silver mask, a muscular humanoid beast with flaming facial hair & a burn scar over his left eye and many more, all looking to kill on sight. "Yeesh, these are nothing like what we've faced before." Dipper commented examining all the new beasts that had been unleashed when suddenly, he laid eyes upon a strange being whose body seemed to be made of various pipes. "And what even is that thing?" The boy felt himself edging into insanity little by little before he quickly covered his eyes in fright. "Hey guys, I think we found it!" Liz called pounding on a strangely metallic tree. "This seems like a good place to hide." "This is the exact place where I found Journal 3." Dipper stated. "I was only told to put up signs for Stan one day and then there it was. Where it all began." he explained. "We can recap last summer later, let's open this baby and get inside!" Wendy exclaimed preparing to scale it with her axe. "Wait, you're going to do it like that?" Black Star wondered. "Of course dude, it's how we opened it in the first place." the cashier said. "There's this little branch that's hiding a lever all the way up there." "Well there's no need for climbing, let a ninja handle this!" Black Star boasted using his ninjitsu skills to race up the tree and jump, grabbing onto the aforementioned branch and pulling it, causing the grass surrounding it to collapse into a spiral staircase leading to the entrance. "Boo-yah!" "Well hornswaggle mah goat-knees, just like old times!" Fiddleford exclaimed doing a quick victory jig. "Now come on sprouts, I can show y'all around!" With that, the hillbilly forgone taking the stairs and jumped down the entrance to the door. "Now come by, it brings back memories!" "Just as long as there's no dust to make me asymmetrical." Kid flatly stated walking down the stairs with the Thompsons behind him and soon, everyone else all except for Ford who was looking off into the distance with a solemn frown. "C'mon Mr. Pines, Kishin Cipher's minions could be coming any minute!" Eruka called for him. "Oh, terribly sorry everyone!" Ford stuttered trying to hide his emotional pain as booming footsteps sounded from afar. Luckily they were all able to get in and close the entrance behind him before one of Bill's henchmaniacs did indeed come across the bunker. "Uh boss, those mortals are gone!" the beast announced scratching his head with one of his eight-ball eyes becoming crooked. "Oh hush up 8-Ball, we can find them later!" Kishin Cipher said floating down to meet his minion's gaze as the other monsters roaming the forest gathered around their new master. "We'll focus on terrorizing all those stupid humans for now, but the reason why I broke you all out of the Nightmare Realm," the fusion stated before he stabbed a finger into his temple and rapidly drilled into it. "IS REVENGE!" The abominations cheered and chanted Kishin Cipher's name as one of the new monsters stepped forth. "Oh yes master, we are forever at your command!" the female beast cried bowing before him. "My pelt is now your pelt!" "Aw shucks Kaguya, you're just too kind!" Kishin Cipher complimented stroking her head and making her purr. "But my lord, what about those children?" a sharply-dressed humanoid being with a deformed face wondered. "Oh don't worry White Rabbit, I already got a few guys after them." Cipher answered before he projected an image of a snake, a spider and a scorpion crawling around.

Stepping further into the bunker, the Mystery Meisters finally came across the shelter which contained various weapons, food supplies and a small bed. "Wow, did you build this for some kinda apocalypse? If so, then I should've really brought a fire-shooting guitar along!" Patty exclaimed amazed at the room but Kid on the other hand wasn't as happy. "Did you even take symmetry into account Stanford?! Everything here is horribly unorganized!" he screamed trying to clean everything up. "Just messy, messy, messy!" "Looks like we're gonna be here a while. Who's up for some High-Flying Beans?!" McGucket asked rifling through their rations before he came across a familiar candy. "Hey waitaminute, is this my Smez dispenser? So that's where it went!" "Fiddleford's right, we might be in here for quite a long time, which is why I've gathered rations to last us until 2070." Ford explained. "In case any of us go hungry after like twenty years tops, we might have to resort to cannibalism." he remarked. "Wait, so we're gonna stay down here while all those monsters run amok?" Dipper asked. "We haven't lost yet Ford, we just need to think of a-" "WE HAVE LOST, WE LOST EVERYTHING!" the surviving great uncle suddenly exploded spooking his young partner and realized just what he had done. "Oh my goodness, I am terribly sorry Dipper! I didn't mean to blow up in your face!" "It's okay Ford, I know where you're coming from. It's horrible we lost Stan, but that's not important right now." Dipper reassured the older man. "Right now, we just gotta find a way to stop Kishin Cipher." "Thank you for that kid, but I think I should just sit down for a while." Ford stated taking a seat on the bed. "I still can't believe it, Bill took my brother after he spent years trying to bring me back." he mumbled. "Somehow I feel that is just cruelly ironic." "You talking about your brother?" Maka asked sitting down next to him. "I feel you Mr. Pines. In fact, I lost my weapon & best friend at the same time yet I'm not randomly screaming in everyone's face." she said. "I know Maka, but I've known Bill far longer than any of you." Ford said starting to choke up before crying. "In fact, I thought he was my friend." "Wait, what?!" Black Star shouted dropping a crate he was moving onto Spirit's foot. "You and Bill were actually bros once?!" he asked. "How long ago was it? Please elaborate." Stein said taking a puff of his cigarette. "It was when I was much younger, around Spirit's age, when I first met Bill." Ford stated beginning to reminisce on less traumatizing times.

"It was when I hit a roadblock in my research of Gravity Falls, and I thought there was nothing else left to discover until I met him in my dreams." Ford narrated picturing his younger self resting under a tree in the forest before the greenery turned into something bizarre. Examining his new surroundings, Ford then came face to face with a peculiar triangular creature who greeted him in a polite yet screechy tone. "Hiya smart guy!" the shape said, his voice echoing throughout the strange realm. "Whoa, don't have a heart attack! You're not 92 yet!" "Who are you?" the young scientist asked. "Name's Bill, and you're Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world! But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's relax." the creature, now named Bill, stated making a teapot and a chessboard appear out of thin air. "Have a cup of tea!" "He claimed to be a muse that chose one brilliant mind once a century to inspire. But of course it was all a lie." Ford continued in the present day. "I allowed him to take control of my body whenever he pleased. I trusted him like a research partner until I got a glimpse of Bill's true plans." Much later on, Ford and Fiddleford stood in front of the universe portal that they unknowingly helped Bill Cipher construct with a crash dummy for testing. "Are we clear Fidds?" the younger Pines asked his lab partner, who was unaware his foot got tangled with the rope tying the dummy down. "I'll take that as a yes! Ready and..." Suddenly Fiddleford felt himself sucked in along with the dummy when they released it, only saved by Ford at the last moment before the portal would swallow him whole. "I got ya buddy!" Ford shouted tugging the rope and pulling his partner back to the ground. "What is it? Is it working, what did you see?!" The only words that came out McGucket's mouth was complete gibberish before he rose from the ground, his eyes widened in horror. "When gravity falls and earth become sky, fear the beast with just one eye!" he chanted to Ford's confusion. "Fiddleford, get a hold of yourself! You're not making any sense!" Stanford cried trying to put a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder before he jerked away. "This machine is dangerous! You'll bring about the end of the world with this!" a now paranoid Fiddleford screamed. "Destroy it before it destroys us all!" "I can't destroy this, it's my life's work!" Ford tried to argue but his words fell on deaf ears as his partner stormed away. "I fear we've unleashed a great danger on the world, one that I'd just as soon forget. I quit!"

"I never learned just what he saw on the other side, but speaking in present tense I can only assume it was one of Bill's hangouts." Ford concluded his story. "Well is there anything in this bunker that can help us?" Tsubaki wondered. "Maybe if we can go deeper we'll get some answers!" Free replied tearing off a porthole that led to another room, this one consisting of various metal cubes lining every last corner. Going through the porthole, the room seemed almost normal except for a particular design on one of the tiles. "This security room is designed to crush intruders who don't have a code to reverse it. Now be sure to not step on that tile." Ford explained before he pointed to that specific tile. "That is the tile that could seal your dooms if someone presses it. Got it memorized?" "You got it." Free stated before he tried to step on the tile. "Ooh, what's this button do?" he asked and Soos grabbed him by the arm, keeping him away from the tile. "Sorry dude, you don't wanna press that. Might kill us all." Progressing further, they discovered a surveillance room connected to what seemed to be a laboratory given the presence of various cryogenic tubes, one of which was heavily damaged. "Seriously, how the hell did you build all of this without anyone noticing? And where did you get all the supplies too?" Black Star wondered before noticing something odd on one of the screens. "Hey, get outta there spider!" he said trying to squish it and realizing that it wasn't resting on the screen, but inside the lab itself. "Uh, Ford!" "Something the matter Black Star?" Ford asked the ninja. "You ever got any giant spiders in here? Cause I've already found one." he pointed out, much to the scientist's shock. "My word, how did that thing follow us in here?!" Ford cried racing to grab a rifle. "That thing could be one of Kishin Cipher's monsters, so I'm gonna need some help!" "You can count on me Sixer! Like I said before, just like old times!" McGucket declared arming himself with his sonic banjo. "We're with you as well Stanford." Stein added already commanding Spirit to transform into his scythe mode. "Okay then, let's move out!" Ford declared before Crona stopped him. "Wait, what about us Grunkle Ford?" "The rest of you stay in here and keep watch while we're gone! If anything happens, be on your guard." Ford stated before he, McGucket, Spirit and Stein departed the observation room to hunt down the spider, leaving the kids, Soos, Wendy, Blair, Excalibur, Free, Eruka and the Mizunes behind. "So what do we do now? The grownups all leave to kill spiders and we're stuck here doing nothing." Patty wondered unknowingly leaning on a red button on the console, causing one of the tubes to deactivate. This tube in particular contained what looked like a frozen Dipper screaming in terror that was ready to melt. The real Dipper gasped in horror, realizing just what this other him was. "Patty, what did you do?!" "What did I do?!" the Thompson asked. "You just released an evil experiment that tried to kill us when we first came here dude!" Wendy answered. "You sure about that guys? Looks like a frozen Dipper to me." Liz commented. "Exactly, that thing's a dangerous shapeshifter!" "Well what are we waiting for, let's go kill it!" Black Star shouted picking up Tsubaki and charging through the door that led to the lab, pretty much knocking it down. The rest of the party followed him behind ready to take on the beast.

Meanwhile with Ford's group, he, Fiddleford, Spirit and Stein crept through a long & winding tunnel system in search of the spider. "I don't think I remember ever digging such an elaborate passageway in here." Ford commented. "Did you Fidds?" "Nope, not the slightest clue!" McGucket replied before he dropped down and sniffed the ground to track its scent. "Think it went thataway!" he shouted pointing in the next direction like a dog. "Good work McGucket, though I'm not sure if that was really necessary." Stein stated and they moved onward. Going deeper through the caves, the four finally found the spider in a large open space that made it ripe for the squishing. "Okay everyone, be silent. I've only got one shot at this." Ford whispered aiming his rifle at the giant spider. "Ready, aim..." Just then, a snake loudly hissed breaking his concentration and firing, sending the bullet flying across the area. "What was that?!" "I think that was a snake!" Stein exclaimed. "Wait a minute. Spider, snake." he muttered then coming to a startling conclusion. "Oh no!" "Something the matter Frank?" Fiddleford asked before his mouth was hastily shut by the Meister. "Don't make a sound, they might hear us!" he cautioned them. "And yet you're making a sound right now!" Ford replied. "Kinda hypocritical much?" "Touche." Stein responded and just then, they heard a woman say "Vector Plate.", spawning an arrow under them & sending them flying toward the snake & spider. "Is this the scientist you told me about dear sister? I never seen someone with six fingers before." the gargantuan arachnid remarked before it transformed into a beautiful pale-skinned woman wearing a long black sleeveless dress. Spirit & Stein knew exactly who this was. "Arachne?!" "That's Arachne? And they're sisters apparently." Ford commented getting up and dusting himself off. "I don't see that much of a family resemblance." "Hello again Meister scum. And I see you've brought some new blood for us." Arachne greeted Stein. "It certainly has been a while Stein, pity that you abandoned me when you fell to madness." Medusa added. "Listen to me Stein, don't fall for her games!" Ford cautioned the Meister. "From the looks of it, she could trick anyone and then backstab-" It was then Ford came to a startling realization. A genius scientist that became close with a manipulative creature colored in black & yellow that was slowly toying with him. Why did that seem so familiar? It was almost like reliving the time he spent working with Bill, believing him to be a kindred spirit. "Weren't you all supposed to be dead?" Spirit asked. "I was until my sister requested that our new master bring us back to life." the elder Gorgon sibling answered. "Wait, what do you mean 'us'?" Ford wondered fearing if she was talking about someone else. His suspicions were confirmed to be true as another witch, this one looking much younger than the other two with a bizarre covering on her head that resembled a scorpion's tail at the end. "Meet our youngest sister, Shaula." "Wait, there's three of them?!" Ford exclaimed turning to Stein and pointing an accusing finger at him. "You only ever mentioned the two!" he shouted. "Well to be fair, how she was defeated was pretty embarrassing." Stein tried to defend himself. "I mean, she was killed by students of the NOT class!" "Silence!" Shaula boomed glaring at the pair of geniuses. "Kishin Cipher has resurrected all three of us to be his loyal servants and our mission right now is to kill all of you & those brats as well." she declared. "And as for my humiliation, he made sure it won't happen again and made me stronger." "Heads up y'all, looks like we're in for a rumble!" Fiddleford exclaimed picking up his sonic banjo as the others took up arms against the Gorgon sisters.

Back in the lab, the remaining Mystery Meisters were now face to face with a currently defrosted cryogenic tube and out of it, came an exact double of Dipper looking furious. "You!" it shouted in a deep voice pointing at Dipper, Mabel, Wendy & Soos. "You forced me into that contraption and left me to perish!" As it spoke, the Dipper clone transformed into a white-skinned insectlike creature with misshapen arms, one more slender with three fingers & the other swollen with a claw. "And I see you brought some fresh new faces for me as well." "That's what that shapeshifter looks like? I would comment on how horribly asymmetrical it is, but I'm too horrified beyond words!" Kid squeaked fearfully as the Shapeshifter took on the form of Maka. "Now then, which one shall it be?" it wondered emphasizing each word by transforming into Crona, Black Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz & Patty in that order. "Why not everyone?" it emphasized some more by turning into Eruka, Free and Mizune before its form changed into a terrifying amalgam of everybody he previously transformed into making them scream loudly in terror. "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Pacifica hollered grabbing Liz, turning her into her weapon form and fired repeatedly, but the creature dodged the bullets by zooming off. "Where'd it go?" the formerly rich girl panted dropping Liz to the ground. "More importantly, where did you learn to fire like that?" the cowgirl weapon asked. "Got it from all my experience playing Bloodcraft: Overdeath." Pacifica answered boastfully. "PLATINUMPAZ level 100 to be precise." "You're PLATINUMPAZ? That's why I always get creamed whenever I face you!" Black Star exclaimed. "We can talk about video games later dudes, anyone know where that shifter guy went?" Soos inquired. "And more importantly, did I always have two big sisters?" Patty added remarking upon the sudden appearance of another Liz. "That is utterly preposterous Patty, our Liz isn't nearly as busty!" Kid stated clutching both of their assets. "As we should know, you aren't very symmetrical! Especially your chests!" This observation earned him a good smack on the head from Liz. "Well this is something only the real Liz would do!" "Wait, if that's the real Liz, then who's-" Tsubaki asked before she came to a shocking conclusion. "Oh no." she muttered frighteningly as the second Liz laughed before it transformed back into the Shapeshifter. "You discovered me far too easily!" it said. "But enough about you, I think it's about time I get revenge on you Dipper!" "Get back everyone, I'm going in alone!" Dipper ordered bravely picking up Excalibur. "Are you crazy Dipper?! Let me come too!" Wendy exclaimed pulling out her axe. "And us too, since we're going for a whole sharp weapons thing here!" Ragnarok added forming into Crona's sword. "Ah, we engage in a swords and sorcery type battle, I see. In that case!" The shapeshifter then formed a pair of its own swords out of its arms. "So be it!" "Okay change of plans. Me, Wendy and Crona will take on the shapeshifter while the rest of you take cover!" Dipper explained. "You got it broseph!" The others raced back into the adjacent room as Dipper made the first move, clashing Excalibur with the Shapeshifter's makeshift sword while Wendy scarred its other arm and Crona stabbing it in the back.

"I'm like really sorry for letting this happen guys." Patty hurriedly apologized dropping to her knees. "If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just say the word!" "Hey chill out sis, it was just a button." Liz assured her younger sister. "And besides, it's not like you gave away something that could end the universe as we know it." Her comment accidentally sent shivers down Mabel's spine as she turned away nervously stroking her hair. She knew she couldn't keep mum about a certain event last summer no longer, but feared that if she spoke up about it right now it would result in being ostracized from her family. "Uh, are you okay Mabel?" Maka asked her. "What, no! I'm fine, perfectly fine!" Mabel exclaimed shyly, still not wanting to give away that secret she was keeping for months. "You know what would be great dudes? If we had some popcorn with us, cause this fight is heating up!" Soos exclaimed bringing attention to the fight going on next door. "Kinda like a fighting game!" "Yeah, get 'em Crona!" Black Star cheered the son of Medusa on. "Yeah, give that thing what for DP!" Pacifica added. "You can do it Wendy!" Soos exclaimed waving his arms around. "C'mon guys, do the wave with me!" Everybody complied doing the wave, all except for Mabel who remained silent in the corner and Eruka, Free & the Mizunes who had transformed into their animal forms and snuck away.

The four-way battle raged on with Dipper now getting a better grip on the sheer awesome power of Excalibur as he clashed with the Shapeshifter. "Look man, we don't want any more trouble then we've already caused, we just want to find shelter in here away from the flipping apocalypse!" "You have denied my freedom to roam the outside world and seek revenge, and now I shall deny you and your comrades the freedom of life!" the Shapeshifter roared before it suddenly heard a croak coming from the dark corner. It then immediately snatched Eruka from her hiding place and held her hostage. "Surrender now or this little toad gets it!" "Hey, let my little buddy go ya stupid Xenomorph!" Free shouted tackling the experiment from behind. "Think you can copy a werewolf like me big boy?! I'd like to see you try!" he challenged only to be smacked aside. "You are insignificant to me now. Leave or face death." "Well we're outta here! Dipper, we're gonna go look for Mr. Ford." Eruka explained hopping away to find the author. "And if you don't make it out, we'll tell him you're sorry." With the traitorous minions of Medusa now gone, the battle restarted with the Shapeshifter now preparing to attack Crona, but Wendy was quick to put herself in its path and slash the monster's mouth off, causing green blood to spew everywhere. "Always wanted to do that." "All right, go Wendy!" Ragnarok exclaimed. "Makes me wonder how that old man is doing."

Speaking of Ford, he was currently backed into a corner by Arachne, his rifle now out of ammo. "Seriously, what even kills you?!" he screamed deciding to just beat her over the head with the empty weapon itself. "I would say, but it would be foolish of me to do so." the spider witch snidely answered slashing him across the face with her fan. "AGH!" "Stanford!" Stein cried out temporarily distracted from Medusa, which led her to stab him from behind with an arrow. "Why continue to show concern for these fools when you can return to my side Stein?" she asked the bleeding genius picking him up by the shirt collar with a seductive, manipulative smirk on her face. "You are the most powerful Meister there ever was, and yet you continue to serve as Death's flunky." "Well at least I actually care for people. The only person you ever show concern for is yourself, everybody else you just lie to and use for your own gain." Stein wheezily remarked with a bold expression. "I know someone who has been through almost the exact same situation and I refuse to go through this again! Let's go Spirit!" "Right old chum!" Spirit replied being picked up by his Meister and activated their Soul Resonance. This caused stitches to appear at the three sisters' feet and tying them down to the ground. "Whoa nelly, they're knitted at the soles!" McGucket shouted enamored at the duo's techniques, using it as an opportunity to smack Shaula in the face with his banjo. "Quit hitting me you oafish hillbilly!" "Get down Fiddleford, I'm coming in for the kill!" Stein exclaimed preparing to land the final blow on the sisters before he felt something soft and squishy be stabbed on his scythe. "Uh oh." The object exploded revealing it to be one of Eruka's tadpole bombs and blowing him back, much to the frog witch's embarrassment. "Oh my God, I'm terribly sorry sir! I didn't notice you were already attacking, I just believed you needed help! Oh please forgive me!" "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the kids?" Stein asked them. "We thought you needed help against that giant spider but it turned out she's the sister of our ex-boss!" Free stated laughing nervously. "And speaking of the kids, your great-nephew is kicking the ass of some weird alien thing alongside the redhead and Crona." "Weird alien thing?" McGucket wondered. "Hey, I think he's talkin' 'bout Shifty!" he realized with a snap of his fingers before becoming scared. "Oh no, I think he's talkin' 'bout Shifty!" "Wait, that's what you called that monster? It transformed into all of us when we accidentally unfroze it and is now after Dipper, Crona & Wendy!" Eruka exclaimed. "I can explain later. Now let's move!" Ford commanded preparing to race back to the lab before he felt his feet slip off the ground. "Oh right, almost forgot about her." "We don't have time for you anymore Pines, but we'll keep on watching." Medusa threatened and the trio faded into the shadows cackling, their eyes being the only thing visible before finally vanished. "Well that was...ominous." Spirit remarked. "Now then, you were saying?" "Right, let's get outta here!" Ford stated racing out of the cave and the others followed.

"Any final requests brat?" the Shapeshifter snarled despite it having lost its mouth, now pinning Dipper against the wall as the boy tried to attack with Excalibur. "You can't stop me! I have the single most powerful weapon in the world!" Dipper declared holding the sword in the air before it was snatched out of its hands. "No!" "The most powerful weapon in the world? Doesn't seem to look like much." the experiment commented examining Excalibur before the Holy Sword spoke up. "FOOL! I'd think twice before insulting the legendary weapon of King Arthur himself!" he declared to the monster's shock. "It can talk?!" "Yes indeed. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Holy Sword known as Excalibur, sought after by Meisters far and wide to gain my ultimate power." Excalibur rambled. During his long-winded speech, not even the Shapeshifter was safe from making the Excalibur face, despite again losing its mouth. "Is he seriously this obnoxious?" "You have no idea." Dipper replied. "Now's our chance!" he exclaimed, giving Wendy & Crona an opening to strike the beast down, making him drop the young detective and the sword. "Are you ready Excalibur?!" he asked. "As a matter of fact, allow me to take this one boy." Excalibur said turning into his weapon form and hovering high in the air. "Holy Explosion!" he shouted zooming towards the Shapeshifter and stabbing him in the remains of its head and emitted a powerful explosion, finally killing it for good. When the dust cleared, all the three of them could see was Excalibur silently dusting himself off next to the green blood-covered remains of the Shapeshifter. "Where did that explosion come from?!" the voice of Free exclaimed running closer to the lab. "It came from here! Hopefully the kids are okay!" Ford replied finally entering the battle-damaged laboratory where they found Dipper panting and the Shapeshifter's corpse rotting. "Shifty..." "I am so sorry I had to do this Ford. But he tried to kill us once and we couldn't let him do it again." Dipper apologized putting a comforting hand on his great uncle, now mourning the death of the creature. "I accept your apology Dipper, but I feel like this is partially my fault as well." Ford stated remorsefully. "When Fiddleford and I raised it, it slowly became dangerous for some reason which led me to try and imprison it." "And we all know how badly that failed!" McGucket exclaimed killing the dour mood. "Oop, sorry. Carry on y'all." he then quickly apologized. "Now where the others at?" "That was totally wicked!" Black Star screamed in excitement as the aforementioned rest of the party burst out from the security room to congratulate Dipper, Crona & Wendy. "I mean, the way you weaponized Excalibur's annoyingness to kill him off was alphanumeric!" he shouted. "Try and guess which word I made up?" "We can all talk later. What happened to Mabel?" Dipper asked. "She's still with us, but she's been rather quiet for some reason lately." Kid stated. "No matter, now we have to contact my father! Maka?" "Right Kid." Maka obeyed stepping up to the cryogenic tube, fogging up the glass and writing the number needed to contact Death. "42-42-564, whenever you want to knock on Death's door." the girl Meister chanted causing the glass to turn into an image of Lord Death. "Oh hello there everyone! I see you've got Pacifica back, good show!" the Shinigami applauded the Mystery Meisters before he realized something was wrong. "Hey, what smells like dead alien body? And where are Soul & Stanley?" The party was silent for a few moments before Dipper put his hat over his chest. "They're gone." he revealed. "They gave themselves up to Kishin Cipher to save us and got turned into monsters like what happened with Pacifica's dad." "And then the guy unleashed all sorts of fresh hell all across Gravity Falls, complete with his own big showtune!" Patty shouted, much to Death's horror. "No, it can't be!" he gasped. "In Layman's terms Mr. Death, we're gonna need somewhere to hide until we're ready cause Gravity Falls is definitely no longer safe!" Soos said. "You got any place for us to stay sir?" "Oh yes, you can room with my students in Death City and train to stop Kishin Cipher." Lord Death suggested. "Thank you old friend, but first I would like to have a word with my new Meister." Excalibur said. "Mason Pines, please step forward." "Wait-what-how did you know my real name?!" Dipper exclaimed in confusion before the sword cut him off. "FOOL! I shall answer later, now take a knee my boy." he commanded, making the young man think he was being knighted. "His real name is Mason?" Pacifica tittered, causing Excalibur to silence them as well. "And you shall stay quiet as well!" "Yes sir." the rest of the Mystery Meisters complied bowing before the boy and the sword. "Mason Pines, for your sudden expertise in mastering the art of the sword, learning how to properly resonate with me and using my abilities to stop a great evil. I hereby anoint you as my newest Meister." he announced knighting Dipper with his cane. "May I wish good fortune upon you my friend." "Aw look, you made a new friend Excalibur!" Death exclaimed cheerfully before he began musing on how to move everyone to the Academy. "Now how can I create a way outta there?" he pondered before Eruka spoke up. "I believe Free and I can help out." "Oh, a witch helping us out? The last time that ever happened, we were quickly betrayed." Stein commented as the witch and the wolfman began combining their magic to create a gateway to Death City. With various mathematics symbols beginning to circle around a green entryway, the entrance began giving off a heavenly glow that left the duo exhausted. "Now before anyone says we pulled it out our butts, it's partially true." Free panted giving a thumbs up. "Spatial Magic and Magic Calculation, an unstoppable team." Eruka wheezed in reply. "Excellent, thank you for your assistance. Now come along, to Death City we go!" Ford exclaimed charging into the portal before Stein, McGucket, Spirit, Gideon, Black Star, Tsubaki, Blair, Waddles and Pacifica ran in after him. When almost everyone had exited the bunker into the portal, Dipper, Mabel, Maka and Crona were the only ones left to find that the witch's former cronies were being put back up on their feet by the Mizunes. "Aren't you coming with us too?" Mabel asked Eruka. "I would like to Mabel, anything to get away from this hellhole, but your town is in trouble and without you around, we might as well stay behind." Eruka answered reassuringly hugging the human girl. "And I just want to say, thank you both for helping us." "Yeah, we're gonna miss you little rascals!" Free exclaimed nearly crushing Dipper in a bear hug. "Gonna miss you guys too, now please stop crushing me!" Dipper groaned before being dropped to the ground. "And thank you for helping us get home." Maka stated gratefully. "Now good luck on protecting Gravity Falls while we're gone." "Uh guys, I think the portal might close any minute now!" Crona warned his friends as the gateway to Death City began to slightly fizzle out. "Oh right! Thanks for reminding us Crona." Dipper exclaimed before he ran into the light followed by his sister and Maka. "We'll see you guys later!" The last one to step into the portal was Crona, but only after he gave Free & Eruka one last hug. "I hope you'll all be okay when we get back." the Demon Swordsman whimpered. "Don't sweat it squirt, we got the skills to survive." Free assured Crona pushing him into the light. "Now go on, be with your friends." Crona put on a final smile before he faded into the light and the portal finally gave out, leaving the room almost deserted. "Well then, let's get crackin'!" the wolfman declared preparing to move out. "C'mon you three-eyed bastard, Papa Free's ready to get the belt out!" The Mizunes chittered in agreement scurrying behind and Eruka, turning back to examine the room hoping that her new friends safely escaped to Death City, being the last to leave, the only current occupant of the room being the decomposing corpse of the Shapeshifter.

Mere hours after the bunker was left completely empty, Kishin Cipher suddenly appeared and forced the Gorgons to kneel before him. "So, let's set a few things straight." he said in a polite yet livid tone. "I assigned you all to follow the Pines and those moronic Meisters into the bunker to kill them all." As Kishin Cipher continued, his voice grew deeper and his body turned a haunting crimson signaling that he was furious. "AND YET YOU ALL FAILED TO DO THAT TO EITHER OF THEM! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN YOU IDIOTS?!" "Please forgive us master, Screw was about to kill us when one of my former minions intervened and still they won over us!" Medusa begged for mercy. "Which one, the brain-dead mutt, the whiny frog or those pesky little mice?" Kishin Cipher sarcastically asked returning to normal. "And speaking of which, you might as well found me a new one!" Kishin Cipher then hovered over to the remains of the Shapeshifter and brought him back to life, albeit still with his mouth & an arm missing and various scars. "Good old Shifty! I've read a lot about you in Fordsy's journals, but I never thought we'd meet in person one day!" "Bill Cipher I presume?" the newly revived experiment asked. "Close but no cigar Stitch! Call me Kishin Cipher, the God of Weirdness & Madness and new master of these lands!" the Dream Kishin declared causing reality to spin around like a carousal and then stopping. "So, how'd you end up like this?" "There was this boy with an annoying sword who had put an end to me." the Shapeshifter answered to the horror of Kishin Cipher. "Wait, Pine Tree has Excalibur now?!" he exclaimed in shock. "I may be an utter pain in the ass to every one of my victims, but even I know where to draw the line!" "I need revenge! Make me your slave and I promise I shall be your greatest ally!" the creature begged him. Kishin Cipher contemplated for a few moments before finally accepting. "Okay then buddy, you're now mine!" he exclaimed. "But first you're gonna need some new threads." With a snap of his fingers, the Shapeshifter felt itself transform from a bizarre alien creature to a black chameleon-like beast with white markings lining its body, blood red eyes and a large heart-shaped hole in its chest. "So how's the new look dahling?" Kishin Cipher inquired with a proud look on his face admiring his work. "I feel so reinvigorated master! Please tell me when we can kill the Pines?!" "Up bup bup, don't get excited so soon! We still got other things to do." Kishin Cipher declared before he created a portal that he, the Shapeshifter and the witch sisters stepped into, no doubt to somewhere to plot their next scheme.

And so Weirdmageddon commences. With out heroes now being forced to retreat and the villains gathering forces, me the author and you the readers are left on the edge of our seats to learn what happens next. Will Ford make peace with his inner demons? What will happen when Mabel's secret gets out? Is there any way of stopping Kishin Cipher now?! Tune in next chapter, same Soul time, same Falls channel!

#gravity falls #soul eater #fanfiction #crossover #gravity soul #dipper pines #mabel pines #maka albarn #stanford pines #black star #tsubaki nakatsukasa #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #death the kid #liz thompson #patty thompson #crona gorgon #spirit albarn #franken stein #pacifica northwest #old man mcgucket #lil gideon #eruka frog #free soul eater #mizune #medusa gorgon #arachne gorgon #shaula gorgon #bill cipher #kishin asura

[ceslawrites]

What The Dickens?! A Fiddauthor Christmas Carol

A one shot fiddauthor fic for @tunaraptor, my @disford Secret Santa partner! Enjoy below the cut, or read on Ao3!

To begin with, Northwest Manor had been no stranger to Christmas parties in the days when the Northwests properly owned it. Naturally, those parties were exclusive only to the cruel clan’s wealthiest friends and allies; they were lavish affairs meant only to flout the Northwest’s many possessions. There were feasts consisting of meat from all sorts of endangered animals that had been killed in various nasty ways, presents for the children that had been bought from embezzling Christmas charities, and dull party games that were just thinly veiled excuses to insult each other under the guise of holiday cheer. Not a true drop of good will towards mankind could be found at these splendid affairs, as sparkling and hollow as a crystal ornament dangling from an endangered Redwood’s boughs.

Thankfully, those days were as dead as a doornail now that the mansion belonged to Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. Good fortune had smiled down on McGucket in the last few years; his inventions had given him wealth beyond his wildest dreams. This might have made a greedier man miserly, but McGucket loved nothing more than to give his fortune back to his friends, neighbors and loved ones, with Christmas being his most favorite time of all. He too liked to throw a holiday party every Christmas eve, but the guest list included everyone in town, with enough accommodations to satisfy all.

On the night before Christmas, everyone who lived in Gravity Falls, both human and magical creature alike, was at McGucket’s party. Food from Greasy’s Diner was served at the feast, lovingly provided by Lazy Susan (I can say with full certainty that no finer Christmas Dinner of pancakes, omelets and coffee had ever been seen in the history of the Yuletide season). The gnomes had formed a roving chorus of carolers that roamed the halls serenading guests with cheerful holiday carols, afterwards they would then ask for a small donation to the local children’s hospital under threat of bodily harm. Both Dipper and Mabel, who were visiting for the holidays, had taken to decorating the mansion with their friends and Gideon, who refused to leave them alone. Even Stan was in a marvelous mood, having dumped an entire flask of gold ru—I mean, “Happy Jolly Christmas Water with No Alcoholic Properties Whatsoever” into is carton of eggnog.

  While all this pandemonium broke out through the house, Ford Pines was navigating the vast sea of revelers in order to find his husband. He fiddled with one of the wedding bands on his left hand anxiously, Ford never cared much for huge parties with lots of people, preferring to spend his evenings left to his own devices or, at the most, with his family and closest friends. Fiddleford was the one who loved celebrations, and yet he was nowhere to be found.

           “Kids,” Ford called up to Mabel, who was standing on top of a ladder hanging a sprig of Mistletoe above one of the doorways. Her friends Candy, Grenda and even Pacifica Northwest herself were stringing garlands of holly everywhere, not particularly caring where they ended up as long as it looked festive.

 “Hey Grunkle Ford,” said Mabel cheerfully, accidentally dropping the mistletoe on top of Pacifica Northwest’s head. “Whoops! Sorry!”

 “Oooh,” said Candy and Grenda in unison. “Paz is gonna get kisses!”

 “Get this moldy, sexual harassment weed off of me,” Pacifica sneered as she yanked the mistletoe out of her hair. She passed it off to a flying gaggle of sugar plum fairies, who later nestled the mistletoe into the hair of a pretty white haired elf, which lead to another romantic holiday tale for another time. All stories lead into other stories, and this party was a mass of stories waiting to be told, but we must focus on the tale Ford and Fidds for tonight, or we’ll lose ourselves entirely.

 “Girls,” said Ford patiently, “Have you seen Fiddleford anywhere? He’s missing his own party!”

 “I saw him sitting by the tree in the game room earlier,” said Pacifica, pointing down the hall to a slightly ajar door. “He looked like he was having some, I don’t know, old age introspection, so I left him alone.”

 “Thanks Penny—”

 “… Pacifica?”

  “—Right. Sorry,” mumbled Ford absentmindedly as he made his way to the game room. “Honestly though, who names a child that?”

 “Old Money sociopaths,” Pacifica replied as she turned her attention back to decorating.

 Ford found his husband staring up wistfully up at the top of a magnificent Christmas tree, where high above a mechanical angel Fidds had invented gleamed in the dim light of the room.

 “Everything all right, Fidds,” asked Ford, placing a hand on his shoulder. Fiddleford smiled as he placed his own hand on Ford’s.

 “I guess I was just feelin’ a little blue,” sighed Fidds, “seeing the kids having a good time… I cain’t remember what Christmas used to be like when I was young. I didn’t want to spoil the party, so I just came in here to act all pensive and melancholy on my lonesome. Ya don’t have ta stay—”

 “Of course I do,” Ford whispered. He took Fidds’ hand and kissed it tenderly. “Why don’t we sit on the couch together and watch the fire, maybe that’ll make you feel better?”

 “Aw, I don’t wanna keep ya cooped up here,” said Fidds, gifting Ford with a smile, “They’re gonna start playing A Christmas Carol out on the TV soon, ya don’t wanna miss that.”

 “Oh yes I do,” said Ford disgustedly. “Charles Dickins’ A Christmas Carol is the most trite, sentimental story in the entire canon of British Literature, and only hacks with no imagination whatsoever rely on it whenever they want to tell a Christmas story.”

 … And then Ford slapped himself in the face for no apparent reason.

 “Ow!”

 “What cha do that fer?” asked Fiddleford, startled.

 “I’m… not really sure,” said Ford, rubbing the place where his hand had struck. He smiled apologetically to Fidds, and then set his sight on an old record player sitting across the room. Suddenly hit with inspiration, Ford made his way over to the machine and put in an old album

 “Truth be told,” said Ford with a warm smile as the first few bars of the Arabian Dance began to play, “I was always fonder of The Nutcracker myself.”

He offered his hand to Fiddleford.

“Would you like to dance?”

Fiddleford took Ford’s hand without a drop of hesitation. The slow, sultry sounds of woodwinds and cymbals filled the room as they danced a sort of tango across the game room floor. It wasn’t long before Fiddleford unshackled the gloom that had weighed him down like great chains of lead, losing himself completely to the music and Ford’s gentle touch.

“Where’d ya learn to move ‘round like that,” Fidds giggled as Ford lowered him into a sudden dip.

“The Dance Dimension, the one where everyone communicates through dancing,” Ford said before kissing the tip of Fiddleford’s nose.

“Y’ought ta show off them fancy moves off at the party,” said Fiddleford.

“Soon enough,” Ford shrugged as he pulled up his partner, “but I want to finish this one first.” Ford spun Fiddleford around as the music began to slowly fade away, finishing it off by pulling his partner close into a passionate kiss. It was a perfect moment.

Pity that’s the exact time the ghost showed up.

The fire in the hearth blew out as an unearthly chill engulfed the room, the door slammed itself open and closed, drawing the attention of the girls decorating in the hall. The walls rattled ferociously, knocking several of the mounted animal heads onto the floor, all while an ominous moaning began to fill the air, louder and louder until it was an unbearable pitch.

“What’s going on?” shouted Mabel over the commotion.

“I don’t know,” Ford cried back as he held a frightened Fiddleford close to his chest. “But it’s possibly a category ten ghost—you girls stay back just in case!”

The apparition finally manifest itself into physical form, bound in chains that clasped in the middle and weighed it down miserably.

“PRESTON NORTHWEST,” wailed the creature, its gruesome face frozen in rigor mortis even as it spoke in a horrible, hoarse voice.

“… What?” Fiddleford blinked in confusion.

“Ugh, Uncle Marley, dad doesn’t live here anymore, now stop bothering Mr. McGucket,” said Pacifica, making her way into the room with the rest of the girls.

“Uncle Marley?”

“Yeah,” said Pacifica, rolling her eyes, “He was Great-Great-Grandfather’s business partner a hundred years ago who died stealing Christmas from all the children of townspeople who owed him money, and now every Christmas he’s stuck warning every new generation of Northwests that if they don’t change their ways, they’ll be trapped to the same fate he earned.”

“Ohhhh, that’s so festive,” cheered Mabel.

“It gets old quickly,” said Pacifica with a scowl.

“Well,” Fiddleford stepped toward the ghost nervously, “I’m awful sorry mister, but Preston Northwest don’t live here no more. And don’t bother the girl neither, she’s a good kid.” Fidds clapped a protective hand on Pacifica’s shoulder, which made her smile. “Ain’t anybody haunting anybody here tonight. Although, yer more than welcome to join the party downstairs, there’s plenty of ghosts ya can hang out with there if’n ya want to stay.”

“Alas,” said the ghost mournfully, “I cannot rest, I cannot stay, I cannot linger anywhere—”

“Didn’t stop you from ruining my fourth grade Christmas sleepover,” mumbled Pacifica under her breath.

“I must admit this is most inconvenient,” said the ghost, scratching his chin pensively. “I was sent to herald the arrival of the ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Yet To Come, they’ll be quite put out that they won’t be able to perform their duties tonight.”

“Wait,” said Ford with a bright smile that began to glow in the darkness of the room. “Perhaps we could work something out…”

The Ghost of Christmas present was, in his entire jolly splendor, a welcome edition to the party, providing a surplus of food and comfort for all to enjoy. He and Mabel became fast friends as they lead the party to new heights of merriment, to the point where even Pacifica couldn’t help but crack a smile.

The formidable Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come wanted nothing more than to haunt Preston Northwest with visions of his terrible fate if he were to continue to be a jealous, greedy jerk, but the specter was content to postpone that frightful encounter as Candy and Grenda quizzed him on such pressing matters as whether or not Marius would give Grenda another palace for Christmas, and who Candy should kiss on New Years Eve.

Of the haunting trio, however, the Ghost of Christmas Past was the one Ford had most wanted to see.

“Can you show him a few Christmases from his childhood,” he indicated Fiddleford with a gesture of his hand, “It would mean the world to him.”

“Of course,” said the luminous child, taking both old men by the hand.

In an instant, they were transported into a series of faded memories: young Fiddleford ice skating out on a pond in Tennessee, then another scene where little Fidds unwrapped a new banjo underneath a Christmas tree, Fiddleford tucking his young son into bed and reading The Night Before Christmas to help the child fall asleep soon. Old McGucket could barely hold back his tears of joy as each scene danced before him in an instant.

“Is this all right,” said Ford nervously, “do you like it? We can stop if you want–”

“I love it,” Fiddleford croaked, throwing his arms around Ford’s waist. “Thank you… thank you so much…”

Ford gently kissed the top of Fiddleford’s head.

“Screw it,” he whispered. “God bless us, every one.”

#fiddauthor #ceslatoil's fic fix #disford secret santa

[radioactivedelorean]

New Year

A little gift for @transformersg1fan271 in return for her Christmas gift.

Pairings: Stanchez, Fiddauthor, DipMorty 

Rated: G

Words: 1229

The living room inside the Mystery Shack was possibly about as cramped as it would ever get. Nine people were all crowded around the television, watching in awe as the huge clock ticked closer and closer to midnight. Stanford Pines was sitting in his brother’s usual chair, for once, with the footrest up, a can of Pitt cola in one hand. Fiddleford McGucket sat in his lap, leaning forward and watching the television eagerly. Both of Fiddleford’s hands were clutching Ford’s free hand tightly, the inventor’s eyes wide and his mouth stretched into a broad grin.

Beside the chair, upon the old T-rex head, sat Ford’s brother. Stan was watching the TV with a similar expression to Fiddleford’s, making the scrawny scientist in his lap smirk in amusement. Rick had one arm around Stan’s waist to prevent himself slipping off. Rick held his flask in his other hand, taking a few sips from it every now and then. For the most part, he kept his head resting lightly upon Stan’s shoulder.

On the floor in front of them sat two more adults. Beth and Jerry Smith sat off to Ford’s left. Beth was lying against her husband with a glass of red wine in her hands. Jerry seemed to take pride in the fact that his wife was so close to him, keeping one arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her lips every so often. Beth hummed softly to herself as she lay her head on Jerry’s shoulder.

By Ford’ and Fiddleford’s feet sat Mabel, the young girl’s mouth practically full of popcorn as she continued to shovel the sweet treat into her mouth. The kernels were getting caught in her braces but Mabel continued anyway. She had her eyes fixed on the television that was perhaps less than a foot from her face. Ford had already chided her once that evening on sitting so close to the television. She had clearly ignored him. Waddles was sitting beside her, gratefully accepting bits of popcorn off the young girl every other second.

On the floor in front of Stan and Rick sat the other two children amongst the group. Dipper Pines, for once, had removed his hat. He had his eyes transfixed on the television like everyone else in the room. Occasionally, however, he’d glance over at the boy on his right. Morty was gazing at the TV with wide eyes, his mouth open slightly. His fluffy brown hair was hanging in his eyes and Dipper felt the urge to gently brush it away with his fingertips. He took a deep breath and decided to fold his hands in his lap instead.

Behind them, Rick was watching the pair with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He glanced at Stan and gave him a light nudge, before pointing at the boys on the floor. Stanley had to cover his mouth with a hand to stop the snort that tried to escape. Dipper and Morty were sitting perhaps four inches apart, their hands resting practically on top of one another. Stan grinned at his boyfriend before pressing a quick kiss to Rick’s cheek. Rick grinned and nuzzled up close to Stan, turning his attention back to the television.

A moment later, Mabel began to count down from twenty, moving slightly closer to the TV before Fiddleford leaned forward and tugged her back a bit. Mabel’s eyes never left the television screen as the others soon began to count down as well, the noise of the crowds on screen being drowned out by the voices in the living room.

“Ten!” Ford cheered, hugging Fiddleford slightly closer.

“Nine!” Beth grinned and kissed Jerry’s cheek, causing him to blush just enough so that the word ‘eight’ stumbled out of his mouth a moment too late.

“Seven!” Mabel bellowed as Waddles squealed, causing Fiddleford to yelp and clamp his hands down over his ears. He chuckled, adding the word ‘six’ to the cacophony already in the room. He pressed a kiss to the back of Ford’s hand, making the researcher flush a delicate pink colour.

“Five!” Rick grinned, pressing a kiss to Stan’s mouth just as his boyfriend called out ‘four’.

“Three!” Dipper giggled, his eyes wide and eager.

Morty sheepishly called out ‘two’, blushing as his eyes flickered towards the boy beside him.

The whole room exploded with noise at the word ‘one’, before dissolving into cheering and clapping as the clock struck midnight and the date ticked over.

Immediately afterwards, Mabel was on her feet and giving a solo standing ovation to the TV, while Jerry cupped Beth’s cheek in one hand, bringing her in for a kiss. Fiddleford did the same for Ford and Rick all but threw himself at Stan, pinning him against the wall behind him and kissing him senseless. Mabel made a vague noise of disgust before Waddles jumped up into her lap, clearly demanding his own attention. She affectionately scratched him behind the ear, giggling as he licked her face.

Dipper blushed. He covered his mouth with both hands and giggled quietly to himself, the giddy excitement from New Year somewhat depleting. He turned to look at Morty, who was regarding him with a look of curiosity and something else, something Dipper couldn’t quite put his finger on but something that made his heart flutter. It was only as a blush spread across Morty’s cheeks when Dipper realised the older boy was leaning towards him slightly, his gaze fixed on a point on Dipper’s face just below his eyes. Dipper blushed heavily, finding himself leaning in towards Morty before he even acknowledged it.

As the final toll of the bell struck, their lips met and both boys felt their hearts soar. Morty let his eyes slip closed, bringing a hand up to Dipper’s cheek to gently hold him there. Dipper’s hands found their way to Morty’s hair, fingertips lightly brushing through the soft brown locks as the boys slowly grew more confident with each other.

Behind them, unbeknownst to the young couple, Stan and Rick had parted from their kiss and were smirking as they watched their nephew and grandson respectively share the romantic gesture. Stan raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend before his mouth was once again stolen in a kiss from the man in his lap.

Once the boys eventually broke the kiss, they each found that the other was quite possibly as red as they had ever seen them. Dipper let out a quiet giggle as Morty buried his face in his hands.

“S-so, erm, j-just to erm, just to clarify, you wanted that t-too…?” Morty stammered, his usual stutter amplified by the realisation that yes, he had just shared a New Year’s kiss with Dipper Pines.

Dipper blushed and bit his lip. “W-well I mean yeah. I, er… I’ve kinda been thinking about this for a little while.”

“Y-you have?!” Morty spluttered.

Dipper swallowed and nodded, averting his gaze to the floor. “Yeah, I just haven’t said anything ‘cause I was fairly sure you didn’t like me that way.”

“Well, I g-guess that’s cleared it up for both of us,” Morty mumbled, a shaky grin spreading across his face.

Dipper bit his lip to hold back a grin, though it still quirked up the corners of his lips. He took a deep breath and leaned forward to kiss Morty once more.

#dipmorty #stanchez #fiddauthor #gAYNESS ALL AROUND #rick and morty #gravity falls #rick sanchez #stan pines #ford pines #fiddleford mcgucket #morty smith #dipper pines #mabel pines #waddles #jerry smith #beth smith

[professor-cinnamon-roll]

For the ask thing, the obvious ones: Rick and Morty and Gravity Falls

Rick and Morty

Character I first fell in love with: Rick obviously

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Beth

Character everyone loves but I don’t: Motherfucking Meeseeks

Character I love but everyone else hates: Jerry

Character I used to love but don’t any longer: Evil Rick because of overexposure and gross stuff with him

Character I would kiss: Morty, on the head because I am so proud of him this season : ) 

Character I want to slap: Rick, get your shit together in s4 you ass

A pairing I love: 

Canon: Rick/Unity, Beth and Jerry if they work things out. 

Fanon: What do you think ;)

A pairing I hate: Obvious answers like incest and pedophilia aside, Mr. Needful pairings. I just don’t like the hate sex and manipulation stuff.

Gravity Falls

Character I first fell in love with: Mabel!!!

Character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Soos

Character everyone loves but I don’t: Dipper. I still like him but out of all of them I have the least attachment to his character.

Character I love but everyone else hates: I guess Gideon? IDK because people generally like all the characters.

Character I used to love but don’t any longer: Fiddleford McGucket

Character I would kiss: Stan

Character I want to slap: Ford, because omg grammar doesn’t matter. And Robbie because fuck Robbie.

A pairing I love: 

Canon: Soos/Melody, Blubs/Durland, Ford/Sleep, Stan/Happiness 

Fanon: See above

A pairing I hate: Any with Bill and of course the incest and pedophilia stuff.

#rick and morty #gravity falls #mehwin speaks #meme shit #Anonymous

[masked-fox-creations]

When the Strangers Blew In, Ch. 22

This is the penultimate chapter. I'm a little bit in disbelief that we've made it here.

Summary: Stanford and Stanley Pines dream of a different life. One where they’re not just tidying their pa’s shop or helping ma take care of the baby. Where they can live freely as the men they know they are, instead of pa hounding them to marry before they become spinsters. They get a taste of that possibility when two strangers blow into town, but with them comes a heap of trouble.

Pairings: Rick/Stan (stanchez); Fiddleford/Stanford (fiddauthor)

Warnings for this chapter: Just some good old fear of the future.

ao3 link

Chapter 22— Ice is Crawling Up and Down the Walls

Both twins were awake. Soon they would be in Gravity Falls once again. Their only hope was the forest.

“Jeff’s always keeping an eye out for us,” Stanley whispered to his brother, eyeing the other men. “Once he catches whiff of us he’ll do anything he can to take us for himself.”

“Giving us ample opportunity to free Rick and Fidds, then get far from here.”

Stanley flashed him a grin.

“If he tries to boil these scaly gaffs alive I ain’t stopping him.”

Stanford had to bite back an agreeing laugh. He snuck a hand into his dress to check on the knife. It was safe and sound, waiting eagerly for its opportunity to shine.

As time went on, however, the pair began to grow nervous. They weren’t heading in the right direction.

“Alright, you hold up!” Stanley called out, stopping his horse. The other men stopped, as well, Filbrick turning around to glare at them. “Where the hell are you taking us?”

“Back where you belong,” Filbrick growled. “Now start moving or I swear—“

“We should have gone west,” Stanford interrupted, ignoring Filbrick’s scowl. “It was a straight ride there.”

“You really think it’s your place to question me, Leanne?”

“I think we ain’t taking another step further until you tell us exactly where you’re taking us,” Stanley replied firmly. His twin nodded.

“Whoa now,” Powers interjected, moving between them. “Ladies, I assure you we are on our way to Gravity Falls. We’re simply going the long way around the forest. It won’t add that much time to our trip.”

“What!” the twins exclaimed in unison. “Why?”

“You know it too well.” With that Filbrick turned his horse around. “Now move, or else your pets don’t get water tonight.”

Grinding his teeth, Stanley snapped Chestnut’s reigns. He rode fast past Powers without a glance.

Stanford’s hands tightened around his waist. He turned his head a fraction and whispered, “Get some sleep, Sixer.”

“Our plan, though! What are we going to do now, Lee?”

The desperation in his voice twisted Stanley’s gut. He reached down with both hands and squeezed all twelve of Stanford’s fingers.

“This isn’t the end, Sixer, come on. We can’t give up that easily.”

He grinned wide at Stanford, summoning all the courage he could muster. At first Stanford simply gazed back at him, brow furrowed in frustration. Stanley just kept grinning, however, and eventually Stanford returned it.

“You’re right. Especially since we’ve made it so far. I rather like the taste of freedom.”

“There’s your fighting spirit! We…we can’t lose that, Sixer.”

“No, of course not. We’re not beaten yet.” He laid his head against Stanley’s back. “Wake me should we get any other surprises.”

——

Hours later they came up on the Sprott Farm. The man himself was tending to some pigs, and when he saw them hailed Filbrick. Stanley nudged his twin awake.

“I see you’ve wrangled your little troublemakers.”

“The young Pines girls are back safe and sound,” Powers confirmed. “Thank you for pointing out the way.”

The twins narrowed their eyes at the old farmer.

“No problem, sheriff, it was my duty. Though I think you’re too soft on them. I swear on my soul they’re witches and should be burned at the stake!”

Filbrick snorted. “They wouldn’t do me any good then.”

Filbrick rode on, and the others readily followed. The twins gestured rudely at the farmer as they passed him.

“Hope your farm doesn’t magically catch on fire again,” Stanley taunted.

“If you hear any mysterious words whispered in Latin, I do hope you’ll think of us.”

Sprott seemed truly terrified; it was a small victory but the twins savored it.

It wasn’t long until they passed into town. The sun was setting in Gravity Falls and few people were walking about. Those that were didn’t cast them a second glance.

“On your feet,” Filbrick ordered.

“Why?” Stanley questioned.

Filbrick advanced menacingly on Rick and Fiddleford, hand reaching for his pistol. The twins quickly dismounted their horses. Before they could react Powers was behind them, grabbing hold of their arms in a vice-like grip.

“What’s going on?” Stanford demanded.

“Some jail time ought to do you two some good. At least it’ll keep you out of my hair,” Filbrick answered coldly.

“Wait! What’re you gonna do with them?” Stanley asked, looking frantically at their wide-eyed partners.

“They’ll pay for their crimes.”

The twins yelled and struggled as Powers dragged them to the jailhouse. Too weak from the trek they could not break away.

“You son of a bitch!” Stanley snarled. He threw a punch, but the awkward angle kept him from landing the hit.

“I know you’re upset, girls, but there’s nothing you can do. You can’t interfere with the law.”

“Not once has the law ever helped us,” Stanford said as they were pushed into the sheriff’s building.

Deputy Trigger sprung to his feet.

“Sir! You’re back.”

“Open a cell for me.”

Trigger hurriedly did so. The twins dragged their feet, but still Powers shoved them into the cell and slammed the bars closed.

“Now I’m letting you girls stay together, instead of putting you in different cells. Better for you to comfort each other.”

In lieu of gratitude, Stanley spat on his face. Calmly Powers wiped it off then turned around.

“I need to go prepare for the execution.”

The twins’ blood froze cold.

“Execution?” Stanford repeated, voice barely more than a wisp.

“As soon as morning comes, Rick Sanchez and Fiddleford McGucket will be hung.”

Powers marched out of the building without another word. Stanley gripped the bars until he was white knuckled, staring at the door in disbelief. He only turned when he heard a thud behind him.

Stanford had sunk onto the hard cot, slumping against the wall. Stanley sat down beside his twin, wrapping an arm around him and squeezing.

“It’s gonna be alright, Sixer. It’s gotta be.”

“I don’t know how. We only have a few hours until morning, with no idea where they’ve taken Rick and Fiddleford. Not to mention we are stuck in jail. I…I don’t know what to do, Lee.”

Stanley tried to put on a brave front, but quickly deflated. With a sigh he admitted, “Me neither.”

Stanford clutched at his chest where the knife was tucked away. They glanced warily at the deputy; he had dozed off in his chair.

“Too bad we can’t get out of here and slice his throat, then we could go find Rick and Fidds.
 “Stanley,” Stanford spoke softly, and his twin turned back to him, “do you think that if you had the opportunity, you’d be able to kill Filbrick?”

He took Stanford’s hands in his and answered, “Gladly.”

A ghost of a smile crossed his lips.

“I meant ability wise, but I’m glad there was no hesitation.”

“Oh, right, he’s a good shot. But remember, everyone makes mistakes.”

“He already made plenty,” Stanford agreed, voice suddenly hard. Stanley nodded.

“They all did.”

“Now if only we could get out of this cell, catch them unawares.”

The twins looked around for any possible hope of escape. The walls and bars were solid, however. Together they sighed.

“If we don’t get out in time…” Stanley started, unable to finish the horrible possibility.

“We’d avenge them. After that, I don’t know.”

Stanley glanced at where the knife was hidden, commenting, “We’ll think of something if it comes to that. But we ain’t beat yet.”

“Maybe not, but soon they will be.” He sighed. “You know, right now all I want is to see—”

Suddenly the door flew open and in unison the twins exclaimed, “Ma!”

“My babies!”

Trigger jumped up looking quite befuddled. As ma rushed to them the deputy tried to stop her. She swiveled on her heels and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, glowering at the man.

“If you think you can keep me from seeing my babies, you better be prepared to taste the hand of death, deputy.”

Trigger held up his hands in surrender. Ma released him, patting his cheek.

“There’s a smart boy.”

Two other figures giggled from the doorway and came over to the deputy, taking his arms in theirs.

“Howdy, deputy Trigger!” Susan greeted exuberantly, tossing a wink at the twins.

“Why don’t you sit down right here with us while Martha visits with her twins,” Carla said, disguising the obvious order as a suggestion.

The girls led him back to his chair, Carla sitting on his lap, while ma came over to the cell. Stanley and Stanford were already at the bars, disbelieving smiles wide on their faces.

“Ma! What’re you doing here?”

“I had to come see you two,” she answered, placing a hand on either’s cheek. “Carla saw you being dragged here and came to the Wentworth’s home to grab us. I left Shermie with her ma. We’ve been staying there since you two left.”

“I’m sorry we left without telling you anything first,” Stanford apologized sheepishly.

“Did you get our note?”

“I did, but Filbrick took it before I could hide it. I don’t blame you for leaving, sweeties, but I’m so happy to see you again.”

Though it was difficult she managed to kiss their foreheads through the bars.

“So, uh, about that note,” Stanley chuckled nervously.

Martha lifted their chins so she could look them both in the eyes. Firmly she assured, “Whether yer girls or boys, you are my babies and I love you. All I want is for you both to be happy.” She gave them a warm smile. “Those are some cute names you picked out. Let me guess—Stanford, Stanley?”

The twins beamed as ma pointed at either one, guessing correctly.

“You’re amazing, ma!”

“The names fit you. Now, we have more important things to focus on. Like getting you boys outta here.”

Even as a warmth swelled in their hearts at ma acknowledging their gender, there was still a pit of desperate dread.

“They took Fidds and Rick!”

“We aren’t sure where, but we do know that by morning they’re slated to be hung.”

Ma’s brow furrowed. “Those bastards. I swore ta Filbrick if he hurt any of ya I’d shoot him myself, and I damn well mean that.”

“Do you have any idea where he could have taken them?” Stanford wondered.

Shaking her head ma told him, “I have no clue. But don’t look so down! Yer ma has a plan on busting you at, at least.”

“Great!”

“And I think I have an idea how to save them,” Stanford announced, grinning. “Ma, this may be hard to believe, but there are creatures in the forest. The ones we need are called gnomes. They’re very tiny and wear red pointed hats—”

“Oh, ya mean those strange little men that run around the forest? Before I married Filbrick they tried ta make me their queen. Cute little fellas, but don’t know how to talk to a woman.”

Stanford and Stanley stared at her gobsmacked. Slowly they began to laugh.

“I guess Jeff has a type,” Stanley guffawed.

As they calmed down Stanford explained what they’d need. Ma nodded intently, promising to return soon. For the first time in what seemed a very long while, hope bloomed inside of them.

—— Through the small barred window in their cell the twins could see a sliver of sky. Stars were out and shining in abundance; there was no moon. They should have been napping while they could but between the uncomfortable conditions, Trigger’s watching eyes, and their own frayed nerves both were wide awake.

Stanford was leaning against his twin, feet dangling over the other end of the cot. He was staring out into the quiet night as Stanley glared at the deputy. The lawman himself wasn’t paying them much mind, casting constant glances at the door as though expecting powers to return at any moment. Truth be told it worried the twins that he hadn’t, either trusting trigger’s competence, underestimating their resourcefulness, or readying the execution.

“Hey Sixer?” Stanley whispered, causing his brother to look up. “Not that I’m complaining, but why do you think they’re waiting until morning to hang ‘em? Why not do it now?”

Stanford’s face scrunched in contemplation. The gears turned in his head for a moment. Eventually he admitted, “I have no idea. Perhaps the sheriff, through some misguided sense of duty, didn’t want this to appear like a vigilante hanging. That wouldn’t look good on any of them, and you know appearances are everything.” Stanley snorted. “That sounds like those pompous—”

Their musings were cut short by the door once again bursting open. Trigger was on his feet in a flash. He was then knocked off of them as ma reeled back and punched him square in the jaw. Something glinted on her fist; brass knuckles.

Before he could recover something flew at his neck, embedding itself there. Trigger tried to stand but only managed to swagger back down. In a moment he was out cold.

Carla looked at the blow dart in wonder. “Those little gnomes were right, this stuff is potent. Too bad it’s hard to make.”

“I don’t think you even needed to punch him,” Susan commented, nudging Trigger’s limp body with her foot.

“I wanted to.” Ma leaned over and ripped the keyring from his belt. “Alright, Stanley, Stanford, let’s go save your men.”

#The finale is gonna be wild. :) #stanchez #fiddauthor #trans bandito quartet au #trans #fanfiction #Fox made this #Gravity Falls #Rick and Morty

[enigmatist17]

Mornings (FiddAuthor)

Based off a dream I had last night :)

I really do adore these two, and I really think they would be very cuddly at the beginning of their relationship as they both have a lot of issues to work through.

The sensation of smooth cotton sheets surrounding himself was the first thing Fiddleford felt when he started to wake from his dreams, a small smile crossing the male’s face. When made the smile grow was the thick arm tucked around his waist, holding the hillbilly against a broad chest, McGucket slowly turning to face the person behind him. Stanford Pines was snoring slightly as he slept, his grip tightening when he felt Fiddleford stop moving much to Fiddleford’s amusement. Leaning close the southerner kissed a faint scar going down Ford’s left cheek, the sleeping male mumbling an equation as Fiddleford chuckled silently, moving onto a scar that was hidden by Ford’s ridiculously floofy hair that tickles the tip of the males’ nose. He then moved down, placing very tender and sweet kisses all over the perfectly circular scar around Ford’s neck, spindly fingers gently caressing Ford’s cheek when he made a slightly distressed noise at the contact to his neck. “It’s alright.” He cooed to the sleeping man, pressing some kisses to Ford’s cheeks until the man settled down, a smile crossing his lips as he turned his gaze to Ford’s covered chest. It had been only six months since they had begun their relationship, and Fiddleford knew that Ford was highly uncomfortable with showing his body to the hillbilly, who was more than understanding. Fiddleford had his own problems, and this mutual understanding was more than helpful in their strange but intimate relationship. However, Fiddleford was curious, the southerner slowly and carefully slipping the turtleneck up so he could see Ford’s chest, his gaze one of sadness and curiosity. The first thing he noticed was a tattoo over Ford’s heart, its shape causing a shiver of fear go down the hillbilly’s spine, but that feeling was quickly overtaken by sadness. Scars cross-crossed over top of the tattoo until there was almost nothing left, only a sliver of the pupil and a bit of the triangular shape left. He gently stroked some of the scars, wishing he could make it just all go away as Ford would always have this reminder for the rest of his life. His gaze was next drawn to a very amusing tattoo on the nape of Ford’s collarbone, a slight grin on his face as he traced the outline of the grinning star, having heard the story behind it many times. “Enjoying yourself?” Looking up Fiddleford locked eyes with a sleepy Stanford, the male smiling softly as he watched Fiddleford’s finger lazily trace the tattoo. “I am…yer handsome ya know…” Ford looked up, his gaze one of confusion as he took in what Fiddleford had said. “I assure you I am not.” The southerner shook his head, pressing sweet kisses all over Ford’s chest with a smile. “You are ta me Stanferd.” He hummed, looking up when Ford’s grip tightened around him, his eyes just a bit misty though he would deny if Fiddleford asked. “Have I told you how much I love you.” Stanford murmured, leaning close to place a chaste kiss on Fiddleford’s lips. “Every day.” He replied with slight amusement, his heart fluttering as Stanford curled around him with a happy sigh, pressing kisses all over Fiddleford’s face and trimmed beard. “Good, I always want you to know.” “Ye always do.” Fiddleford smiled, the two reveling in each other’s company as the day began, thankful that last summer a young set of twins had come into town. They had saved not only the town, but everyone in it, and for this Fiddleford couldn’t be happier.

#fiddauthor #stanfordpines #fordpines #grunkleford #fiddleford mcgucket #fiddleford hadron mcgucket

[ceslatoil]

15, 16, and 20

15. Your guilty writing pleasure?

Probably writing OC’s in fanfic– like, obviously a good writer can and should be able to make a character they came up with themselves charming and interesting enough for a reader to enjoy, but in fic the deck is heavily stacked against OC’s (not always without reason). I guess it’s the thrill of the challenge? Also I’m a sucker for adding overly detailed descriptions of food. I want my faves to eat well!

16. Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it up as you write?

Typically I have a general idea of where I want to go with the fic, but will usually invent and discard tons of different ideas in between the beginning and end depending on what the story needs. For example, during Preposterous Proposals!, I had planned a subplot where McGucket’s Raccoon Wife reveals that she’s some kind of ancient, wise forest guardian, and she ends up saving McGucket and Ford from Pan and gives them her blessing to get engaged– oh yes, she could also talk. It was quite obviously scrapped.Another example would be this one part in Midsummer Nightmare: a good chunk of the plot originally was supposed to be about Mabel and co. trying to keep the Wild Hunt from interfering with the Fiddauthor date. One of these little slapstick scenes involved Gideon trying to appease the fairies by offering them a bowl of cream– he was just going to walk out the door with the bowl, there would be a beat where commotion could be heard outside, and then suddenly he’d return, all roughed up and doused in milk, and say something like “they didn’t like the milk” or something. A scene that would only take about a paragraph to get done at the most.But, this turned into a bigger scene where Gideon almost gets eaten by a monster and Ford and the Girls end up saving him; the essence of the idea is kept, but it was expanded into something bigger.

20. 4 sentences from your work that you’re proud of

“Once everyone in the building was staring in shock at Toby’s appearance, he began to dance an elaborate, jazzy tap dance number that would have resurrected Gene Kelly from the eternal twilight of death, just so he could punch Toby in the face for defecating all over the art of dance.”

This is from what was probably one of my favorite chapters to write in PrePos!, if only because it gave me a chance to really go wild with comedic narration, and I still consider this to be the best line in the fic.

“He crashed his lips against Fiddleford’s, the impact absolutely explosive.”

I’m fond of this line– it borders a little on the Gorgonzola, but I just like the imagery this description of a kiss conjures up– it’s a moment that the entire fic has built up to, and what a satisfying moment indeed.

“Soos stood on the stage, dressed in a suit made of stones, twigs, moss, and the petrified corpse of Bill Cipher.”

You know who I just don’t write enough of? Soos! He’s one of my faves and yet I’ve only ever written him as a supporting character. This was a moment I knew would be perfect for him; if anyone could pull off playing the Wall in Pyramus and Thisbe, it would be Soos.Additionally, this chapter was published about a couple of months before Cipher Hunt began, so it amused me greatly that there were people all over the world searching for his statue when in my fic it became part of a costume for an amateur play!

“The sun had finally risen when Fiddleford McGucket fell asleep to the steady sound of Ford’s heartbeat.”

I’m proud of this line– when I was starting to plot out the ending for Midsummer, I thought it would be important to have the last line of the fic Mirror the first (“The sun had not yet risen when Old Man McGucket had woken up to a mysterious, crashing noise.”)The fic both opens and closes on McGucket– the first line indicates danger and unease, darkness and the unknown, which of course is what pushes us into the adventure in the first place. The closing line reassures us that all is well, the characters we all love are safe again and perhaps happier than they were before.

[thelastspeecher]

A Change in the Recipe

Last Friday, I did another of what I call “choose your own fic-venture” streams.  Basically, I have the start of a scene written out and give three options for how the scene should continue, and the chat votes on which option I go with.  And I do other votes when I feel that the scene could progress different ways.  

This time around, chat voted four times on how I would write the scene, from my Bakery AU.  Specifically, this is the scene taking place directly after this ficlet, in which Ford finds out his twin works in a bakery and has two kids.  Thanks again to everyone who stopped by!  It was a lot of fun!

Shout-out to @nour386 for the title suggestion!  Thank you for it!

              “How did you end up here?” Ford asked.

              “Long story.”  Stan began to wipe down the counter, his eyes stormy from memory.  “When I got kicked out, I spiraled, ended up with a rap sheet a mile long, and was on my way to gettin’ a pair of concrete shoes.  But then I tried to steal cupcakes from this bakery. Lute caught me, but he and Angie didn’t call the cops.”  Stan’s expression softened.  “They’re good people.  Too good for someone like me.”  Ford looked away, pretending to be interested in a case of fancy cupcakes.  The name “Danny” caught his eye.  He peered more closely.

              “Is- is there a cupcake named after your daughter in here?” he asked.

              “Yeah.  Daisy’s got one named after her, too.  Customers eat that shit up.”

              “I take it you were holding your daughter earlier to get people to buy more treats?” Ford asked.  “Playing the sympathy card?”

              “No.  She’s good at playing the cute card, too.  Cuteness is what makes or breaks bakeries like this, Poindexter.”

              “I suppose their usefulness to the bakery was an upside to having children without being married,” Ford said idly, continuing to examine the cupcakes on display.

              “Asshole.��  Ford’s head whipped around.  Stan was glaring at him.  “Things got tight when I knocked Angie up.  Things got tighter when we found out that it was twins.  Sometimes, I have my kids with me when I’m working.  Customers buy more when they see that we’re a ‘family business’.”  Stan made air quotes around the last two words.  “But I didn’t have ‘em to sell more cookies.  They- they weren’t even planned.”  Ford opened his mouth.  “Are you happy now?  Now you know my daughters were an accident?”

              “I- I wasn’t-” Ford started.

              “And I like showing ‘em off,” Stan continued, ignoring Ford.  “My daughters are the best babies in the entire goddamn world.  I want people to see ‘em.  I want to spend time with ‘em.”  Stan’s voice broke mid-sentence.  He looked away.  “I don’t get to spend as much time with ‘em as I want, since I gotta work to keep a roof over their heads.  So, yeah, I drag Danny or Daisy down here when the bakery’s not too busy, and I get- I get to watch them do all the adorable shit that they’re so good at.”

              “Why can’t you just have them down here the entire work day?” Ford asked.

              “They need to nap, and eat, and have their diapers changed,” Stan said, resuming his wiping down of the counter.  He cleared his throat.  “And if there’s more than five customers in here, we have to decide whether it’s all right for the girls.  They get overwhelmed.  So most of the day, they can’t be down here, ‘cause of all the customers.  Which- that’s good.  But it also means Danny and Daisy have to stay upstairs.”  Stan looked at the door that led to the upstairs, a wistful expression on his face.  

              He misses his daughters, and they’re literally in the same building.

              “I wasn’t trying to imply that you had children for the purpose of helping the bakery succeed,” Ford said.  “I was just-”  Ford sighed. “Like Fiddleford says, I wasn’t being very tactful.”  Stan grunted. “My apologies.”  Stan stared at him.

              “Where did you learn to apologize?” Stan asked.

              “Fiddleford.”

              “Figures.”  Stan tossed the rag he was using underneath the counter.  “Lute and Angie made me learn manners and shit like that, even before I moved in.”

              “Did you move in before or after you started dating Angie?”

              “Before.”  Before Ford could follow up his question, the bell over the bakery’s front door jingled.  Stan looked over Ford’s shoulder at the person that had just walked in.  He grimaced.  “Here we go,” he muttered under his breath.  He cleared his throat.  “Uh, hey, Fidds.”  Ford turned his head.  Fiddleford stood in the doorway, frowning with a severity that he typically reserved for Ford’s most flagrant breeches of lab safety.  “How was the conference?”

              “It’s only the first day, but so far, good,” Fiddleford said in a clipped voice. He stepped fully into the bakery. The door closed behind him. “Why’s the sign still say the bakery’s open?  I thought they closed by now.”

              “I was gonna close up, but Ford came in and threw me off,” Stan said. Fiddleford pursed his lips and flipped the sign around.  “Thanks.”

              “No problem.”  Fiddleford switched from crossing his arms to putting his hands on his hips.  Ford raised an eyebrow.

              Wow.  He really is angry. Ford glanced at Stan.  Stan looked nervous.  Stan must know that pose as well.

              “Look, Fiddleford, I know you’re upset that I got Angie pregnant before we got married-” Stan started, apparently deciding to get out in front of the argument.  Fiddleford waved a hand.

              “That’s not what I’m angry about,” he said.  Stan blinked.

              “It’s not?”

              “No.  You and Angie were serious fer a long time, and engaged on top of it.”

              “Bassett-”

              “Uncle Bassett’s traditional.  He wanted ya to have a courthouse weddin’, sure.  But I understand why ya wanted to wait until ya could properly celebrate.”  Fiddleford narrowed his eyes.  “What I’m miffed ‘bout is that I haven’t seen my nieces yet.  And they’re six months old!  Why wasn’t I invited to see ‘em until now?”

              “Y- you were busy,” Stan stammered.  “Angie didn’t wanna bother you-”

              “Oh, please.  I could’ve taken a couple days off to visit.  But I didn’t get a single invitation, and didn’t even find out they were born until two days after it happened!”

              “In my defense, I was sleep-deprived.  I couldn’t remember all of Angie’s siblings,” Stan said. Fiddleford huffed.  He crossed his arms again.

              “Fine.  With twins, I s’ppose that makes some sense.”  Fiddleford changed his attention from Stan to Ford.  His frown switched from anger to bemusement.  “Hang on.  What’s goin’ on here?”

              “Your future brother-in-law is my twin brother,” Ford answered. Fiddleford’s eyes widened.

              “The same one ya had a falling out with?”

              “Did Ford tell you he had more than one twin?” Stan asked.  Fiddleford glowered at him.

              “I ain’t done bein’ peeved with ya,” Fiddleford said firmly.  Stan rolled his eyes.  “Yer not helpin’ yer case.”

              “Eh.  Now that I know the real reason you were pissed, I’m not that worried,” Stan said with a shrug.

              The door behind the counter opened.  Lute poked his head out.

              “Stan?  Angie’s askin’ fer ya,” Lute said.  Stan nodded.

              “On my way up.”

              “Lute Everett McGucket!” Fiddleford thundered.  Lute paled.  He closed the door.  The sound of his footsteps hurried upstairs.  “Oh no, ya don’t get to run away from yer problems!”  Fiddleford strode over, lifted the flip-up counter, and followed Lute up the stairs.  Stan chuckled.

              “Lute’s gonna get it.”

              “You’re a father.  Shouldn’t you be a bit more mature?” Ford asked.  Stan scoffed.

              “Even if I’m only as mature as a six-year-old, that’s still older than my kids. I’ve got plenty of time to grow up before it becomes a problem.”  He opened the door that Fiddleford had slammed closed in his rush upstairs. “You gonna come up and meet Angie and Daisy?”  A strange look crossed Stan’s face.  “…I think you’ll like Daisy.”

              “She is my niece.  I have no doubts that I’ll like her,” Ford said.  Stan shrugged.

              “I mean, it’s pretty much impossible to not like either of the girls.” With that, he went upstairs.  Ford followed.  The wooden steps they trudged up creaked slightly under their weight. Ford silently noted the pictures hung on the walls of the McGucket family.  He paused at one of Stan, Angie, and Lute apparently selling baked goods at some sort of festival.  All three were beaming broadly.

              And proudly.  I haven’t seen Stan that proud about something since…  Ford thought back to the hours he and Stan spent on the Stan O’War. A melancholic feeling settled in his chest.  Stan cleared his throat.  Ford looked over.  Stan was at the top of the stairs.  He gestured for Ford to come up.  Ford quickly finished going upstairs.  He looked around.  They had arrived in what appeared to be a living room.  A young woman was stretched out on a gray patterned couch, fast asleep. Lute stood near the couch, holding the daughter that Stan had introduced Ford to.  Fiddleford was eagerly cooing over the infant, playing with her hands.

              “Aw, what a cutie!  An absolute sugar-cube.  I could just eat yer lil fingers ‘n toesies all up!”  Fiddleford kissed his niece’s fingers.  The baby stared at him with wide eyes, like she couldn’t believe Fiddleford had just done that.  Loud crying suddenly emitted over a baby monitor resting on an end table near the couch. The woman on the couch groaned and got up.  “It’s okay, Angie,” Fiddleford said.  Angie squinted at him.

              “Fidds?  When did you get here?”

              “Not that long ago.  But like I said, it’s okay.  I’ll get her.”

              “Mmkay,” Angie mumbled.  Fiddleford left the room.  Angie began to lay back down.  Stan cleared his throat.  Angie sighed heavily.  She looked over where Stan and Ford were standing.  Her eyes skipped over Ford initially, before coming back to him. Her jaw dropped open.  “Either sleep deprivation is makin’ me see double, or…”

              “This is my twin brother,” Stan said.  “Ford.”  Angie’s face cycled through a series of emotions, before settling on ambivalence.

              “…All right,” she said after a moment.  Stan frowned.

              “That’s it?” he asked.  Angie nodded. “Last time I talked about Ford, you said you had ‘harsh words for him’.”

              “I’m too tired to have harsh words fer anyone,” Angie said firmly. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. “Just tell him to be nice to the girls, and that if he so much as implies they aren’t perfect lil angels, I’ll toss him out on his ear.”  Stan turned to Ford.

              “You heard the lady, Sixer.”

              “I wouldn’t dream of insulting my nieces,” Ford protested.  Stan nodded.

              “Exactly.  Especially since Angie just threatened you with physical violence,” he said somberly. Ford looked over at Angie.  She was still sitting up, but had fallen back asleep.  Her oversized T-shirt (Is that Stan’s?) had slipped off one shoulder, her hair was a complete rat’s nest, and she was snoring quietly.

              “…I don’t know how much of a threat she poses,” Ford said quietly. Stan snorted.

              “Wait until she gets Delilah.  You’d change your tune fast.”

              “Delilah?” Ford queried.

              “Her fav’rite shotgun,” Fiddleford answered, walking back into the living room, holding an infant.

              “She has a shotgun?” Ford asked.  Lute, Fiddleford, and Stan all nodded.  “…Why?”

              “City slicker,” Lute muttered.  He sniffed the air experimentally.  “Oof.  Someone needs a change.”  Stan reached for his daughter.  Lute shook his head.  “It’s fine. I’ll take care of lil Danny.”  He strolled out of the room with his niece. Fiddleford walked over to Ford.

              “You should hold Daisy,” he said.  Ford eyed the infant being held by Fiddleford.

              “I’m not sure if-” he started.  Fiddleford shoved Daisy into Ford’s arms.

              “Take a look at her,” Fiddleford instructed.  Ford looked down.  Daisy eagerly reached for him with outstretched hands.  His eyes widened.  One of Daisy’s hands had five minute fingers.  But her other hand…

              …She’s a polydactyl.  Tears began to prick the corners of Ford’s eyes. He wiped them away quickly.  She’s a polydactyl.  And her twin isn’t.  A hand rested on his shoulder.  He looked over.  Fiddleford smiled at him warmly.

              “Thought you’d like seein’ that,” he said quietly.  Ford nodded.

              “She’s…special,” he choked out.

              “Duh,” Stan said.  “She’s my kid.”  Ford nodded again.  “You know I’m never gonna let her feel bad about being a polydactyl, right?”

              “Yes.  I know. You’re better suited than anyone else for that task,” Ford said.  Stan grinned.

              “Doy.”

              “Lute owes me ten bucks,” Angie said from the couch.  Everyone looked over at her.  She had woken up at some point.  “I told him that if Ford ever showed up, the easiest way to get him to soften ‘n open up would be showin’ him the girls.”  She rolled her eyes.  “He thought it would be gettin’ the two of ya to sit down and talk.  I swear, sometimes it’s like he doesn’t know ya at all, Stan.”

              “Yeah, that was way too optimistic,” Stan agreed.  He eyed Ford.  “If- if you don’t wanna hold Daisy, you don’t have to.”

              “Now that I’m holding her, I don’t mind that much,” Ford said.  “She’s quite sweet.”

              “Not fer long,” Angie said quietly.  As if on cue, Daisy began to wail.  Ford winced at his niece’s loud cries.

              “What- what do- how-” he stammered.

              “I’m on it,” Stan said, removing Daisy from Ford’s arms.  “She’s hungry.”  He exited the room, taking the same route that Lute had earlier.  Ford looked at Angie.

              “Stan’s quite the doting father, isn’t he?” he asked.  Angie nodded.  Ford placed his hands behind his back.  “Good. Speaking from experience, it’s difficult to grow up…different.”  Angie raised an eyebrow.

              “Don’t worry.  Yer not the only one in this room who got picked on fer bein’ ‘different’.”  She sketched air quotes around the word.  “No one’s goin’ to mess with my daughters and get away with it.”  She yawned widely.

              “Yes.  Stan told me about Delilah.  Between your shotgun and Stan’s, ah, inherent aggression, Danica and Daisy will be fine.” Angie snorted softly.

              “‘Inherent aggression’.  Lord. Stan was right.  You are a nerd.”

#my birthday's in about a month and I think I'll do another choose your own fic-venture stream then #they're so much fun to do. love getting input from chat. #esp when it's lit like it was this last time #Bakery AU #Stanley Pines #Stanford Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Lute McGucket #Angie McGucket #Stangie Family #my writing #ficlet #speecher speaks

[thelastspeecher]

So earlier today, I held a stream where I asked the chat to help me write a ficlet; I offered a few options of what might happen next in the ficlet, and the chat voted for what they wanted to happen.  The ficlet takes place in an AU that is a variation of the Stanley McGucket AU.  However, instead of Stan and Ford reuniting soon after their falling out (which happens in the Stanley McGucket AU), Stan and Ford have their reunion at Stan’s wedding.  Here is the full, edited, completed thing.  

              “Are you sure you want me as your plus one to your sister’s wedding?” Ford asked.  Fiddleford rolled his eyes.

              “Of course!  Yer my partner.  Why wouldn’t I?”

              “This is why,” Fiddleford muttered to himself as he watched Basstian and Harper separate Ford from his new brother-in-law.

              “What are ya prattlin’ ‘bout?” Lute asked.  Fiddleford sighed.

              “How I regret my choice of plus one,” he replied.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “I didn’t even know Stanford had a twin brother.  Thought he just had the one older one.”  

              The wedding had gone without a hitch for the most part.  Stanford had opted to not attend the ceremony, feeling uncomfortable with watching two people he didn’t know get married.  But at the reception, he’d immediately recognized the groom as his twin brother, Stanley.  Ignoring Fiddleford’s protests, he had stood and made a spiteful toast to Stan, which quickly erupted into a full-out brawl between the two brothers.

              “All right, gents,” Basstian rumbled, finally successfully pulling Stan off Ford.  “Cool it.”

              “That was quite an event,” Lute said.  Angie walked over to her new husband.

              “…Hey, babe,” Stan said in a subdued tone.  Angie crossed her arms.  “I swear, I didn’t mean to- why is he even here?”  Lute elbowed Fiddleford, who stepped forward reluctantly.

              “I invited him, Stan,” Fiddleford said.  “He’s my research partner and I thought-”

              “You thought it’d be a good idea to invite my estranged twin to my wedding?” Stan demanded.  Fiddleford held up his hands in a placating manner.

              “Now, Stanley, I didn’t know-”

              “You shoulda been able to put two ‘n two together,” Stan said.  He gestured at Ford, who was now being helped up by Harper. “We’ve got the same damn face, for one thing.”

              “Stanley, enough,” Angie hissed.  She took a breath.  “Fidds, if ya would kindly escort yer guest out until we decide where to go from here?”

              “No,” Ford blurted out.  Harper gripped Ford’s shoulder tightly.

              “Maybe think ‘fore ya open yer mouth in the future,” Harper ground out. Ford shook Harper’s hand off his shoulder with difficulty.

              “I’m not leaving,” Ford said firmly.  Fiddleford cleared his throat.

              “Stanford…” Fiddleford said.

              “I want answers.”  Ford looked at Stan.  His tuxedo was disheveled, his tie partially undone, a striking difference from the clean groom at the ceremony.  “This is the first time I’ve seen Stanley in seven years.  And it’s most certainly not under circumstances that I would have expected.”  Fiddleford moved over to Ford and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

              “I understand, Stanford,” Fiddleford said softly.  “But that can happen in private.  The reception’s bein’ derailed, and I think we can agree that the bride and groom deserve to have a proper celebration fer their nuptials.”

              “I don’t know if we can agree on that point,” Ford muttered.  Stan started to move again, but was quickly grabbed by Lute.

              “You were bein’ awful rude to my lil sister and her new husband, and ya don’t feel bad about it?” Fiddleford asked, aghast.  Ford didn’t say anything.  “Really?”

              “You forced a reunion with my twin brother, whom I parted on very poor terms with, and you don’t feel bad?” Ford shot back.

              “I- I didn’t-”

              “I’m of the same mind as Stan in this regard,” Ford said.  “There’s no way you didn’t know we were related.”

              “Stanford-”

              “All right, that’s enough discussion,” Basstian rumbled.  He grabbed Ford’s arm.  “Yer goin’ outside until after the cake’s been cut.”

              “But-” Ford protested.

              “No buts.”  Basstian grabbed Ford’s other arm and twisted both arms behind his back.  “We’re here to celebrate Stan ‘n Angie tyin’ the knot, not you ‘n Stan gettin’ in a brawl.”  Basstian looked at Fiddleford.  “Will ya be joinin’ him in the hall or should we have Harper watch ‘im?”

              “I’ll go with him,” Fiddleford said quietly.  As he, Basstian, and Ford exited the banquet hall, Fiddleford glanced back.  Angie was standing on her tiptoes, whispering something in Stan’s ear.  Stan’s furious expression softened.  Lute cleared his throat and stepped forward.

              “So, that was quite the scene.  Let’s get this back on track, shall we?  Marley, I believe you had a toast?”

----- 

              Someone approached Ford and Fiddleford.  They looked over at the person, Harper.  Harper glared at Ford for a brief moment before turning to Fiddleford.

              “Everyone’s gone. The two of ya can come inside now.”

              “You sure?” Fiddleford asked.  Harper nodded.

              “Yep.  Just cleanin’ things up.”  Harper eyed Ford.  “Maybe we should put yer guest to work.”

              “No, Harper,” Fiddleford said quickly.  “I think his first task should be to talk to Stan, not put away the leftover cake.”  Harper rolled his eyes.

              “Fine.”  Harper went back inside.  Ford and Fiddleford followed.  Ford blinked in the bright light, a stark difference from the dark hallway.  There was a handful of people scattered around the large room, picking up leftovers, trash, and putting away chairs. Fiddleford elbowed Ford.

              “Ow,” Ford mumbled.  Fiddleford nodded at the only person in the room who didn’t seem to be doing anything: the bride.  Angie was sitting on the edge of the stage the band had performed on, idly kicking her legs.  She turned a page in the book she was reading.

              “Ya told me that you wanted to apologize to her,” Fiddleford hissed. Ford nodded.

              “Yes, you’re right,” Ford said softly.  “I’ll- I’ll-”  Fiddleford shoved him forward.  Ford stumbled slightly, but recovered.  He heard a small snicker from Lute, who was nearby shoving streamers into a plastic bag. Ford swallowed nervously and walked over to his new sister-in-law.  “Um, Angie?” Angie turned another page in her book without looking up.

              “Yes?”

              “I just wanted to…apologize,” Ford said.  Angie paused.  She closed her book.

              “What for?” she asked.  Ford blinked.

              “Huh?”

              “What are ya apologizin’ for?”  Angie looked at him, her blue eyes steely.  “Makin’ an awful toast?  Gettin’ in a physical fight with my husband?  Refusin’ to leave, makin’ my older brothers remove ya themselves?” Ford grimaced.

              “…All of them?” he said hesitantly.  Angie set her book to the side.  The venom in her gaze increased.

              “Fair enough.  Fair enough. But which one are ya most sorry for?”

              “Um, the toast?”

              “Hmph.”  Angie picked up her book again.  “Fidds told ya to apologize, I assume.”

              “What makes you say that?”

              “The toast was what I was most upset ‘bout.”  Angie tossed her hair over her shoulder.  “Fidds knew that.”

              “I’m sincere,” Ford said.  He looked over at Fiddleford for guidance.  Fiddleford gave him a thumbs up.  Ford took a seat next to Angie.  “That- I’m a better person than my toast made me out to be.”

              “Stan is a better person than yer toast made him out to be,” Angie spat out.  “Was it really necessary to imply that he can’t make a relationship last? To mention his ex-girlfriends? To- to say that he’s a- a-”  Angie looked away, her jaw set in anger.  “A no-good person who can only ride on others’ success?  Was that the phrasin’ ya used?”

              “Not exactly.”  Angie’s hands clenched into fists.  “But close.”

              “He’s a good man.  We- we discussed invitin’ ya to the weddin’, but Stan didn’t want to talk to yer folks to get yer contact information, and I thought that a wedding wouldn’t be the best place fer this sort of reunion.”  She let out a dry laugh.  “Guess I was right.”

              “Look, you don’t know the whole story.  Stan and I- he ruined the one chance I had to go to my dream school.”

              “West Coast Tech, right?”

              “Yes.  How did you-”

              “I’ve known Stan fer seven years.  You came up once or twice.”  Angie glanced at Ford for second before looking away again.  “As a West Coast alumnus, let me say that it ain’t the worst thing in the world to not have gone there.”

              “You- you went-” Ford started.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “I’m, um, that’s quite the accomplishment.”

              “Yep.  Stan was the person who told me to go, actually.  When I got accepted, I wasn’t sure if I’d go.  I was nervous about leavin’ home.  But Stan didn’t want to see someone else lose their big shot, so he- he-”  Angie sighed. “What happened between the two of ya weighed on him, y’know.  Both of ya were affected by it, but in dif’rent ways.”  She played with the fabric of her dress.  “Maybe it’s fer the best that the two of ya came face-to-face again.  Don’t get me wrong, I did not want my wedding reception to be derailed.  But this was bound to happen sooner or later, and this sort of thing only gets worse the more ya put it off.”  A smile broke across her face.  “Speakin’ of…”  Ford followed Angie’s gaze.  Stan had walked into the room.  “Darlin’!” Angie called.  Stan grinned and strode over.  He wrapped his arms around Angie, pulling her into a deep kiss.  Ford looked away.

              “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” Stan whispered to Angie.

              “Yes.”

              “Today?”

              “Hon, it was in yer vows,” Angie said softly.

              “Oh, right.  It was.” Stan nuzzled the top of her head. “Still can’t believe you agreed to marry me, babe.”  Angie giggled.  Ford cleared his throat.  Stan ignored the sound.  “So, we head out now, right?  Did Bassett get the car up and runnin’ yet?”

              “No, not yet.”

              “Dammit.”

              “It’s fine, honey,” Angie said soothingly.  She nodded at Ford.  “I’ve been talkin’ with yer brother.”  Stan snorted. “What?”

              “You were talkin’ to Ford but haven’t killed him yet?”

              “It was touch and go for a few minutes,” Ford mumbled.  Stan frowned at Ford.

              “No one asked you, Sixer.”

              “Stanley, remember what I said,” Angie whispered.  She took a hold of Stan’s hands and intertwined her fingers with his.  Stan’s eyes softened.  He smiled sweetly at Angie.  Ford blinked.

              How in the world did she do that?

              “Now, I know that this isn’t somethin’ you want to do,” Angie continued, “but it’s somethin’ you need to.  Like the first time ya spread manure on the alfalfa field.”  Ford furrowed his brow in confusion.

              What the hell has Stan been up to in the last seven years?

              “That sucked balls.”

              “I know.  And this won’t be much better.”

              “Gee, thanks,” Ford muttered.  Angie shot Ford a warning look.  “…Sorry.”  Angie turned back to Stan.

              “Please.  Just talk to him,” Angie said sweetly.  “Okay? And not with yer fists.”  Stan nodded jerkily.  “Thank you, thank you, so much, my darlin’.”  Angie planted a kiss on Stan’s cheek.  “I’ll let you know when Uncle Bassett gets the car fixed.”

              “Okay,” Stan grumbled.  Angie got up and walked away.  Stan watched her leave with a wistful look on his face.

              “You’re really in love with her, aren’t you?” Ford asked quietly.  Stan sat next Ford.  He let out a loud sigh.

              “Yeah.  I mean, I did marry her, Poindexter,” Stan said. Ford nodded silently.  Stan let out another sigh.  “Well…”

              “Well…” Ford echoed.  Stan shifted uncomfortably.

              “I guess we should talk or whatever.”

              “That’s not something we’ve ever been good at,” Ford pointed out.  Stan chuckled.

              “No, it’s not.”  He grimaced. “But Angie asked, and she was all cute about it, so.”  Ford nodded.

              “Fiddleford requested that we talk, as well.”

              “Oh, yeah, you were his guest.”  Stan eyed Ford.  “What’s your deal with Fiddleford?”

              “I’m not going to talk about my relationship with Fiddleford.”

              “We gotta talk about our relationship before we can talk about Fidds, huh?” Stan said.  He paused for a moment, thinking.  Finally, he nodded.  “Okay. Let’s talk.”

              “Really?  That’s it?” Ford asked.  Stan shrugged.

              “Hey, I gotta know.  If this is the way I find out, so be it.”

#next time I do this sort of stream #the ficlet will be about Stangie getting parenting help from Ford and Fidds #so it'll be a LOT of fun. hopefully a few more people can show up to that one c: #AU of Stanley McGucket AU #McGucket Family #Stanley Pines #Stanford Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Angie McGucket #Harper McGucket #Basstian McGucket #Lute McGucket #ficlet #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks

[thelastspeecher]

You know what?  Screw it.  I was gonna try to write this big whole scene with Ford and Fidds reuniting in the Nature Spirit Big Sis AU, but after writing this first part, which is literally just Stan and Fidds meeting, the inspiration left me.  So.  Here it is.  A smaller amount of writing than I usually post.  Enjoy.

              Stan took a seat on a log at the edge of the forest.  He set down the baby carrier holding his newborn son, Emory. Emory babbled happily.  Stan chuckled.

              “You’re relieved we’re away from all that, huh?” Stan asked playfully. Emory kicked his fur-covered legs, knocking his blanket off.  Stan sighed. “It’s too cold for that, kiddo. Come on.”  He tucked the yellow blanket – crocheted by one of Angie’s magical creature friends – back around Emory.  “Your little toes are gonna get chilly.”  Emory blew a raspberry at him.  A large gust of wind hit Stan in the face.  Stan stared at his son.  “Did you do that?”  Emory grinned.  Stan sighed and looked away.  “Of course my deer kid is magic.”  He frowned, catching sight of someone walking towards the forest.  Specifically, the portion of the forest that his nature spirit girlfriend lived in.  “Hey!” The stranger stopped.  “What are you doing, buddy?” Stan asked, standing up. The stranger approached him.

              “Goin’ in the woods,” the stranger said cagily.  Stan crossed his arms.

              “You can’t go in that part of the woods.  Private property,” Stan replied.

              “I know.  It’s my fam’ly’s private property,” the stranger said.  Stan rolled his eyes.  “You don’t believe me.”

              “No, I don’t.  ‘Cause my girlfriend’s family owns that property, and there’s no way that you’re part of her family.”  The stranger cocked his head.

              “What’s yer girlfriend’s name?”

              “…You don’t need to know,” Stan said.  

              “That yer kid?” the stranger asked, looking at Emory.  Stan nodded silently.  The stranger leaned forward to peer at Emory.  Stan abruptly realized that Emory wasn’t wearing a hat.  His blood ran cold.

              This stranger is gonna see Emory’s antlers and ears.

              “Hey, uh, don’t-” Stan started.  The stranger smiled at Emory.

              “He takes after Pa,” the stranger said idly.  Stan stared at him.  “Well, not that much.  He looks a lot like you ‘n Angie.  But he’s got the same antlers as Pa.”

              “Hang on, you- you know Angie?” Stan asked.  The stranger nodded.

              “I told you, I’m part of her fam’ly.  I’m one of her older brothers.  Fiddleford.”

              “Oh.  You, uh, you don’t look, um…” Stan stammered.  Fiddleford parted his hair.  Hidden underneath his sandy blond locks were small horns that resembled closely Emory’s antler nubs.  Stan blinked. “You can hide those?”

              “I can.  My antlers got a lot smaller after I renounced my nature spirit responsibilities,” Fiddleford said.  He messed with his hair until it returned to its original style.  “Renouncin’ my responsibilities is also why I can leave the forest, if you were wonderin’ that.”  Stan nodded and scratched his cheek.

              “I didn’t know you could do that,” he mumbled.  Emory began to fuss in his carrier.  “Shit, I’ll-”

      ��       “No, no, let me,” Fiddleford said.  “I came to spend time with my new nephew, anyways.”  He crouched down and took Emory out of the carrier.  “Aw, look at those lil toesies!”  Fiddleford nestled Emory in his arms.  “Yer the first McGucket to ever have toes, you precious lil bean.”  Emory twitched his nose in a very deer-like way.  “I ain’t never seen a half-spirit before.  Yer a game-changer, sweetie.”

              “Yeah, I, uh, I guess- I guess he is,” Stan said.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “If you wanted to see everyone, they’re working on making a house.”

              “A house?”  Fiddleford played with Emory’s hands.  “What for? We’ve already got one.”

              “You guys might, but Molly and I don’t.  We wanna live with Angie and Emory in the forest.”  Fiddleford looked at him.

              “Is that so?”

              “Yeah.  Angie and Lute are making the house, and my brother and Molly are watching.  Emory needed a break from the noise, so that’s why we’re over here.”

              “Who’s Molly?” Fiddleford asked.

              “My daughter.”  Fiddleford raised a querying eyebrow.  “From a former girlfriend.”

              “Ah.”  Fiddleford kissed Emory on the forehead.  “Well, I’d love to meet this half-siblin’ of my nephew.”

              “Well, she is pretty great.”  Stan picked up Emory’s baby carrier and stifled a sigh for leaving the peace and quiet earlier than he wanted.  “Let’s head over then.”

#reminder that Emily's birth name is Emory #so she's referred to by that before she comes out as trans #also. the baby blanket that Emily uses in this ficlet #was crocheted by Angie's good spider-person friend Marley #Nature Spirit Big Sis AU #Big Sis AU #Emily Pines #Stanley Pines #Fiddleford McGucket #Stangie Family #ficlet #my writing #speecher speaks

[andrewmoocow]

Gravity Soul chapter 6: In Search of Pacifica, Another Enemy Returns? (originally posted on March 20, 2018)

AN: Welcome back from hiatus boys, girls and every other gender/sexuality! From here on out, Gravity Soul is going to get even insaner and you’re all coming along with me for the ride. Welcome one and all to the Quest for the Northwest arc, and now your new cipher brought to us by Mr. A1Z26. 1 12-9-20-20-12-5 7-9-18-12 2-25 20-8-5 14-1-13-5 15-6 14-15-18-20-8-23-5-19-20 23-1-19 2-15-18-14 20-15 2-5 20-8-5 22-5-18-25 2-5-19-20 14-15-23 19-8-5'19 11-14-15-3-11-5-4 15-21-20 3-15-12-4 20-15 19-1-22-5 8-5-18, 20-8-5-25 13-21-19-20 2-5 2-15-12-4

Mere hours later, the beastly Madness of Sloth formerly known as Preston Northwest charged through the woods of Gravity Falls with his wife Priscilla and their currently unconscious daughter Pacifica clutched in his large hands, startling many a woodland creature and supernatural oddity. “Please Preston, if you’re still in there, just let us go!” his wife cried trying to flee, but her words fell on deaf ears before the monster finally arrived at their former mansion, which was now property of Fiddleford McGucket, but something seemed off. It was now infested with monsters roaming its courtyard, the windows darker than the night sky and the roof having a large hole in it, allowing the light of the moon to shine upon the foyer. “Master Kishin Cipher, I have returned!” the Madness boomed entering the house. “Master, where are you?” he wondered looking around for his lord. “I believe he has other matters to attend to sir.” a diminuative elderly man dressed in all black with a pointy nose explained appearing before Preston. “I am Mosquito, at your service.” he cordially introduced himself. “I suppose you must be another one of his minions, correct?” “Of course we are, we’re all working for the same guy right!” another man called stepping into view. This one in particular had very pale skin, metal piercings, a fur-collared jacket and brown gloves that extended past his elbows. “Who’s the ruffian with you?” Northwest asked setting his captives down. “This ‘ruffian’ is my partner Giriko. We made a deal with Bill to resurrect a certain someone in exchange for our services.” Mosquito stated. Giriko got quite mad over the former philanthropist calling him a ruffian and got his face incredibly close to the other’s. “Who are you calling a ruffian?! You’re the ruffian here for being a terrible parent from what I’ve heard!” “SILENCE!” another voice roared before its owner crashed down into the floor through the hole, none other than Kishin Cipher. “Kishin Cipher, I have been expecting you my lord!” Mosquito distracted himself from the duo’s argument by kissing up to the fusion of Bill and Asura. “My most glorious, almighty, unholy-” Kishin Cipher interrupted him by literally zipping his mouth closed. “Skip the formalities Pointy and hand me the journal!” Although Mosquito’s speaking was muffled through the zipper, he complied giving his boss the second journal written by Stanford Pines. “Oh yes, finally someone gave me one of the journals for once!” the fusion cried in euphoria. “Now all I need are the other two and the ritual to get my power back will be complete!” Skimming through the book, he glanced at Giriko and the Madness of Sloth still fighting before shocking them with a wave of his finger, ending their tussle. “Quit it both of you!” “Okay then you big lug, no need to create another spark over this.” Giriko chuckled at his own terrible pun before getting serious again. “So what do we do with those two over there?” he wondered turning to the other Northwests. “Whatever you do milord, please have mercy on them.” Preston offered thinking for his family. “Oh isn’t that sweet? This man still cares for his family even after he’s been turned into a hideous creature! Whatever shall I do to please him?” Kishin Cipher mock-cried mulling over what to do before he finally came to a decision. “Oh I know! Golems, take the woman to the dungeon where she shall remain!” “But we made an agreement!” Preston roared as his wife was tossed into his family’s former panic room by a pair of large stone creatures. “Well I’m not one for keeping promises bub!” the Dream Kishin exclaimed before gesturing towards the still comatose Pacifica. “And place the girl in a special cage, we’ll need her for later.” The Golems did as they were told picking up the girl and sticking her in a gilded cage before it was raised to the ceiling. “What do you plan on doing with her?” Sloth wondered fearfully backing away. “You’ll see Mustachio. Now go outside and guard the front door!” The Madness of Sloth reluctantly complied before walking outside and taking his position. Cipher went back to eagerly scrolling through the journal before Giriko finally spoke up. “So what’s this ritual you were talking about?” the Deadly Demon Weapon wondered. “That is a very good question buzzface!” Kishin Cipher answered faux-affectionately pinching his cheek, much to his displeasure. “In order for me to regain my maximum power, I need the blood sacrifice of a human, a Witch and a Demon Weapon. I’ve already got one of them down, but all I need are the other two.” He produced an image of the Mystery Meisters before Giriko & Mosquito. “Kill every last one of them, but bring the old man and the Demon Scythe to me. Understand?” he commanded. “Yes master.” the two accepted before going on their way. “But master, what would happen if someone else got involved?” Mosquito inquired before Cipher grabbed him by the shirt collar. “What do you mean by someone else?! If you’re talking about him, then our plans will be ruined if he finds out! Now go already!” He finally dropped the Bloodsucker to the ground and retreated back into the shadows, presumably to recharge his energy as the two walked out of the mansion. “So explain to me again why we’re working with him if he looks like he wants us dead?” Giriko wondered. “Don’t you remember my boy, we originally made a deal with him to resurrect Lady Arachne in exchange for our services!” Mosquito exclaimed irritated at his partner’s forgetfulness before consoling himself and focusing on the task at hand. “But your incompetence doesn’t matter now, let us continue on our way.” The pair finally disembarked on their mission, confident that they will succeed but didn’t know what they were in for.

Meanwhile, deep in the woodlands of Gravity Falls, Dipper and Maka began making plans for an attack on Kishin Cipher with the rest of the party watching. “Okay everyone, here’s the plan.” Dipper began mapping out strategies. “It’s a long way to the mansion so it’s best that we all split up into groups to find a decent pathway to our destination.” He then began listing off the teams. “Mabel, Waddles, Maka, Soul, Crona & I will form the first team. Stan, you, Ford, Kid, Liz & Patty and Wendy form the second. Soos, Melody, McGucket, Stein, Spirit & Blair are Team #3. Finally Black Star, Tsubaki, Gideon and Ghost-Eyes will make up the fourth team. Any questions?” “I got one,” Mabel raised her hand. “how do we communicate with one another when our teams are far away from each other?” she asked. “That’s where these come in.” Maka stated pulling out a bag of flashlights and handing them out to each group. “Each team gets one flashlight they’ll have to share. For every five meters, one of you will have to flash it twice if it’s safe. If there’s trouble, flash it four times. As for other signals, all members within each team will give each other hand signals.” She formed her hand to make an OK symbol. “Use this whenever you’re in the clear.” Then she lowered three of her fingers down while the pinky & thumb pointed outward. “And this is for perilous situations. Are we clear on that?” The others nodded in agreement before Spirit raised his hand. “I think I got a good hand signal!” he exclaimed before he demonstrated said signal by clapping his hands, making a peace sign, then an OK sign and finally placing his left hand over his brow. “I think he’s saying "Your underwear is showin’”.“ Stan translated the signals. "Yeah boy!” Spirit cried fistbumping the great uncle while Maka watched in embarrassment. “Good grief.” “Before we proceed, I think we need to contact my father about the current situation.” Death the Kid suggested before extending his hand, causing a skull-shaped magic circle on the ground to appear and an image of Lord Death to pop out of it. “Hey there, hi there, ho there everybody! How are you all doing children?” the Shinigami cheerfully greeted. “We’re doing fine Lord Death. We contacted you because we’re about to go on an important mission.” Maka explained. “Who the devil is Mr. Tall Dark & Mysterious over here?” Stan wondered. “And what’s with that mask of his?” “Mr. Pines, I’d like you to meet my father Death.” Kid introduced the great uncle to his father. “Ah, so you must be one of my son’s new friends.” Death politely stated. “So wait, your father is literally the Grim Reaper?!” Stan exclaimed gaping at the Death God. “To be honest, I don’t really see the family resemblance.” “You must be Lord Death. The name’s Pines, Stanford Pines.” Ford greeted stepping forward. “They’re our great uncles and super cool too!” Mabel exclaimed. “Oh look, little Dipper and Mabel are here as well! What’s up with this mission I’ve heard about?” said Death. “Well here’s a question for you sir.” Dipper stated crossing his arms. “Have you ever heard of Bill Cipher?” Lord Death gasped at the boy’s question, as if he knew the dream demon from days long passed. After regaining his composure and answering. “Why yes, yes I have.” he stated. “He and I go way back. Hundreds of years ago, he plotted to unleash his weirdness upon the world but me and my eight guardians refused to have any of that. We found a way to break into his hideout in the Nightmare Realm and prevent his invasion, but I feared he would come back someday ready for revenge.” “Well that’s why we contacted you Mr. Death, he’s back and fused with this guy named Asura!” Wendy exclaimed which again sent Death into a tizzy. “Wait, Asura’s back?! How, and why?” he exclaimed. “He fused with Bill for one simple purpose: revenge.” Stein said turning his screw. “And now he’s kidnapped a young girl after brainwashing her father into becoming one of his minions.” “Oh my, that is quite perilous! I’ll promise to watch over you and make contact when all is said and done!” Death proclaimed doing a military salute as the hologram gave out. “Lord Death, out!” When the message finally ended, Dipper turned to the other teams. “Okay everyone, we all know what to do!” he announced raising his flashlight skyward. “For Pacifica!” “For Pacifica!” the others shouted before finally dispersing across the forest. All except for Wendy who stopped her younger friend and snatched the trapper cap from his head, replacing it with the pine tree hat she took to remember him by last summer. “Wanted to do it when you first came back, but I guess I lost track of time.” she said before running to catch up with the elder Pines, Kid and the Thompsons. And so, the great quest for Pacifica Northwest that would last them through the night finally began. Meanwhile with Lord Death, he had just ended the call before turning to gaze around his special room, pondering about their current situation. “So Asura’s back, just as I feared.” he reiterated in a hushed fearful tone unlike his usual wise eccentric personality. “I wonder if it’s finally time I tell Kid.” “Is something wrong sir?” a blue-skinned zombie entered the room without Death knowing. “Oh it’s nothing Sid, I’m just concerned for my son.” Death answered sheepishly. “Oh, you mean Kid? I’m sure he’s doing fine in Gravity Falls.” Sid replied. “No Sid, not just him.” the Shinigami corrected him. “The other one as well.”

Owls hooted loudly as Dipper’s team, consisting of himself, Mabel, Maka, Soul, Crona and Waddles wandered through the forest in search of a good pathway to the former Northwest mansion. “Are you sure we should be out when it’s this dark? I don’t know how to deal with this.” Crona moaned hiding behind Maka. “It’s gonna be okay Crona, you got us sticking by you all the way.” Mabel comforted him before Ragnarok popped out of the Demon Swordsman’s back. “Yeah, all that mushy power of friendship crap or something!” the Black Blood blade shouted giving his Meister a noogie. “Hey, quit it Ragnarok!” Just then, Waddles started oinking in fear and dashing toward Soul. “What’s up little guy, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” the Demon Scythe tried to soothe him before the group spotted a snake slithering before them. “What are you all scared about, it’s just a snake.” Dipper said. “That’s not just any snake Dipper,” Maka exclaimed. “look at its scales!” The Pines brother nervously stepped forward to examine the reptile and much to his surprise, there were various arrows adorning its body. “That is definitely nothing like any snake I’ve seen!” he shouted as it snapped its jaws at him. “Correct child. In fact, I’m not just a snake at all.” the snake suddenly spoke to him in a female voice terrifying the Meisters in the twins’ group. “No, that’s impossible!” Maka cried preparing for a fight as Soul’s scythe form flew into her hands. “Oh it most definitely is Maka-chan.” The snake began morphing into a young woman of fairly average build with black dotted tattoos winding down both of her arms. She had yellow eyes with matching hair and was clad in a sleeveless black cloak but was barefoot, revealing black nail polish. To the Pines twins & Waddles she was a frightening sight, but to Maka, Soul and Crona, she was none other than Medusa Gorgon. “Is that supposed to be Medusa?” Mabel wondered clinging to Maka’s overcoat as the young Meister prepared for a rematch with the snake witch. “Yes, but I just can’t believe she’s still alive!” Maka replied readying her scythe. “Well then, why isn’t she turning us to stone?” The clearing suddenly became deathly quiet as Medusa tried to comprehend the little girl’s question. “What…did you just say?” she asked increduously. “I mean, isn’t Medusa supposed to be like some kind of crazy snake-haired lady who can turn anyone looking at her into stone?” “Wow Mabel, I honestly didn’t know you were that into Greek mythology.” Dipper gasped in astonishment. “Well to be honest Dipper, I mostly got it all from that movie from '97 we watched a lot when we were little.” Mabel said. “We had to replace the VCR three times because I had a crush on Herc-” “SILENCE!” Medusa shouted interrupting their random conversation with an arrow that gashed Mabel’s cheek and blew her back. “I’ve had enough of your meandering chatter little ones, now I must assassinate you for my new master Kishin Cipher!” she declared summoning more arrows from her person. “Oh my gosh, are you okay Mabel!” Dipper howled worrying for his sister. “I’m fine bro-bro, just go get help.” his sister groaned reeling from her injury. The boy immediately reached for his flashlight to contact the others before it was suddenly destroyed by one of the witch’s arrows. “You won’t be needing them now little Pine Tree.” “Oh my gosh, someone help us!” the boy began screaming for help as Maka and Crona engaged Medusa in combat.

“So if your dad’s Lord Death, then where’s Lady Death?” Stan asked as his group, also made up of Ford, Wendy, Kid, Liz and Patty, ventured through their neck of the woods. “To be frank, I never knew my mother or if I even had one at all.” Kid said. “Small world, my mom’s not around either.” Wendy added wrapping her arm around the young Shinigami’s shoulder. “She died when I was like a kid and it still really affects my family even to this day.” “Ditto, we all know what happened with me and Patty’s folks.” Liz affirmed before an arrow whizzed past them and landing on a nearby tree. “What was that?!” Patty cried. Racing over to where the arrow had landed on the tree, it suddenly vanished into thin air. “Just where did that come from?” Ford wondered. “I think it came from over there everyone, we should contact the others!” Stan cried picking up his group’s flashlight and flashing it four times, signaling the others to their side. “We got your message Stanley, what’s up?” Stein wondered. “We were just talking about moms and then an arrow just flew by our faces!” “An arrow? Oh geez, not her!” Black Star cried. “Her who boy?” Gideon wondered. “You’ll know when we show you Gideon, now follow us!” Stan exclaimed leading everyone else on the arrow’s path.

“I’m shocked you’re still siding with Lord Death’s cronies my child.” Medusa stated after defeating Maka and Soul while the Pines twins hid in fear of the witch. “And where is Ragnarok? I don’t suppose you made him into part of those tacky clothes, haven’t you?” Crona was enraged by his mother commenting on his current outfit and let out a mighty battle cry as he dashed towards her with Ragnarok in hand. “SCREECH RESONANCE!” “Seriously, defeated again?! I thought we were stronger than this!” Soul shouted rubbing his head in pain. “It’s not that we’re getting weaker, I think Medusa’s gotten stronger since we last saw her.” Maka guessed watching the mother and son clash. “You think it has something to do with Bill?” her partner asked. “Possibly, that would also explain the change in wardrobe.” “Kids, we’re coming!” Stan cried as he and the other groups raced towards them. “Grunkle Stan!” the twins cried rushing to their great uncle who simply glared at Medusa. “So you’re the hussy that was a terrible mom to Crona, aren’t you?!” he snarled brandishing a pair of brass knuckles. “And I suppose you must be Pine Tree and Shooting Star’s great uncle, right Mackerel?” the witch said putting on an evil grin that distorted her entire face. “How are you even alive Medusa?! You were supposed to have been killed by Maka’s Genie Hunter!” Tsubaki cried changing into Black Star’s chain scythe. “Why it’s simple you all. I can never truly die, plus we all know about the deal I made with Bill. In exchange for helping to morph Crona into a killing machine, he offered to make me into one of his loyal minions!” Medusa summoned a snake-like creature made out of her own tattoos to her side. “You may call me the Madness of Wrath!” “Oh I’ll show you some madness and wrath!” Stan hollered charging towards the witch and hitting her with a left hook. “Come on, who’s with me?!” Just then, Ford, Soos, Melody, Stein and Black Star joined him in taking on Medusa. “So it has to be that way?” Medusa crossed her arms as a black mass swarmed around her. “Nake snake cobra cobbra. VECTOR ARROW TIMES THREE!” She unleashed a barrage of arrows towards her opponents but unfortunately for her, they all swiftly dodged them. “Have some of this!” Soos socked her in the eye with his hammer and Melody slapped her with her shock gauntlets. Meanwhile, Black Star tied her up with his chain scythe leading Stein to send an electric shock just by gripping the sides of her head. “That children, is called Soul Menace. Where you can literally weaponize your Wavelength to create a concussive shock.” “Brag all you want, but you forgot one thing.” Medusa smirked bringing forth her snake creature. “Light Serpent, now!” The monster grew to a gargantuan size and snatched up the entire party in its jaws, flying high into the sky above the forest while the others cried for help. The only member that wasn’t captured was Crona who trembled in fear as he watched his friends on the verge of being dropped to their doom. He became so furious at his mother that he screamed at the top of his lungs and sprouted wings of Black Blood from his back and chased the Light Serpent down. “Hey is it me or are we being made to look like idiotic weaklings?!” Black Star shouted trying to break out of the serpent’s jaws. “Especially me, the man who’s gonna transcend God someday!” Then Dipper proposed a hypothesis. “I think it’s like what Maka & Soul said, it’s possibly because she’s become way too powerful for us!” he said. “Very good observation Dipper, but can we plan on how to escape without dying here!” Gideon exclaimed. “Hang on everyone, we’re coming!” Suddenly, the group all spotted Crona flying after the Light Serpent, keyword being flying as he now had wings. “Wait, Crona can fly now?!” Melody exclaimed. “I recognize those wings from anywhere.” Kid declared. “He gained this ability after devouring every soul aboard the ghost ship Nidhogg with the Black Blood.” he explained. “Great, that’s cool and all but how is he gonna save us with that?!” Wendy wondered. “Like that.” “BLOODY SLICER!” Crona screamed cutting his wrist, allowing blood to fly out & form into a curved projectile. This attack whizzed toward the Light Serpent and sliced its head off, causing it to vanish and its prisoners falling to the ground. Just then, Crona swooped in and picked up all his friends within the wings and gently set them down on the ground. “I can’t believe it Crona, you saved our lives!” Dipper cried gasping for breath. “Yeah, you totally did it!” Mabel added before everyone started singing Crona’s praises. The Demon Swordsman shed a small tear at how much love they all showed him before Medusa finally cornered them. “So you destroyed my Light Serpent? Very good job on that one.” “You leave her alone you crazy snake lady!” Soos firmly stated while he and Melody rushed to the child’s defense. “No Soos, let me handle this one.” Crona declared making the two move out of his way. Stepping forward to face Medusa, the boy put on a determined scowl on his face as he summoned Ragnarok. “You dare challenge me Crona? And I thought I trained my son to obey me!” the snake witch scoffed. “No, I am not your son anymore and I refuse to be called that! A mother is supposed to love and cherish their children, not abuse them into becoming weapons! From this day forth, my name is no longer Gorgon. Instead, call me Crona Ramirez!” Soos put on a small smile as he and the others watched Crona stand tall against his former mother who just groaned and simply said “Vector Plate.” Just then, large arrows pointing in different directions away from Medusa sent all four teams flying away from one another, with Crona being shunted back to Dipper, Mabel, Waddles, Maka and Soul. “Stan, Ford!” the twins cried out for their great uncles. “KIDS!” “Where’s she sending us to?!” Wendy cried as her group tumbled through the forest. “I do not know, but I sure hope it doesn’t get any worse!” Kid exclaimed before they started screaming again, fearfully awaiting what would happen to them.

Meanwhile deep in the forest rested a small cave in which its entrance masked by the surrounding flora. There was a large body of water winding all the way from that entrance to a pedestal, which rested a sword that was illuminated by the moonlight coming from a large hole in the cave’s ceiling. The sword was the cave’s only inhabitant. Along with a few fairies who’s faces were contorted in pure disgust.

That’s all folks! Hope you’re all ready for the next chapter when the Stans, Wendy, Kid and the Thompsons happen upon a certain Holy Sword. Hilarity ensues. Until then… FOOLS!

#gravity soul #soul eater #fanfiction #crossover #dipper pines #mabel pines #maka albarn #soul eater evans #stanley pines #stanford pines #black star #tsubaki nakatsukasa #death the kid #liz thompson #patty thompson #crona gorgon #ragnarok soul eater #wendy corduroy #soos ramirez #spirit albarn #franken stein #medusa gorgon

[thelastspeecher]

Stan-at-Home - Chapter 3: Consequences

Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6 Chapter 7   AO3

Holy cow this is probably the longest chapter I’ve ever written.  I just had so much content I needed to squeeze into it.  There’s a lot of hurt/comfort here, and Stan’s babs don’t really make any appearances.  But we do get to meet Stan’s probably-a-dog, Apple!  Also in this chapter, Ford realizes that maybe asking your twin brother to abandon his family isn’t the best idea.  Enjoy.

               “D-daddy, what’s going on?”  Stan stared helplessly at his daughters, who were both shaking in fear.  He was bloodied and bruised from Rico’s goons roughing him up, but the thing that hurt him the most was seeing his family in danger.  At least the girls weren’t tied up, unlike him and Angie.

               “It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Stan choked out. He tried to hold back his tears. He had to be strong for them. “We’ll be outta here soon.  Just close your eyes.”  Danny and Daisy looked at him with identical disbelieving expressions. “Trust me, pumpkin.”  

               “Do what yer daddy says,” Angie said in a quavering voice.  Daisy and Danny clung to each other tighter and finally closed their eyes.  Stan looked over at Angie.  She was biting her lip, shaking from fear, as Rico held a gun to her head.  

               “Shut up, bitch,” Rico snarled, whacking the back of her head with the gun.  

               “Cut it out, Rico!” Stan yelled.  “Leave them alone!  I don’t care what ya do to me, just don’t hurt my family!”  He heard one of the girls let out a choked sob.  His heart broke.

               “Stan, you deserve hell, for thinking we wouldn’t find you.”

               “Kill me, then!  Let my wife and kids go, then end me.”  

               “Don’t worry, we’ll do that,” Rico said.  “But I know the only way to really hurt you. You’ve never cared about your own life. You’ve always been weak for those you love.  We’ll kill you.  But you’ll watch your wife die first.”  The girls began to cry in earnest.  Rico cocked the gun being held against Angie’s head.  Stan watched in horror as her terrified eyes met his, pleading for something.  Tears finally began to stream down Stan’s face.  

               “Angie, I’m- I’m so sorry for all of this,” Stan sobbed.  “You and the girls, ya don’t deserve any of it.”  Tears leaked from the corner of Angie’s eyes.  “I love you,” he whispered.

               “I love ya, Stanley,” Angie whispered back. Rico pulled the trigger.  

               There was a shot.

----- 

               Stan sat bolt upright, every part of him shaking from panic.  

               Angie!  Stan shoved the sleeping dog off his legs and fumbled out from the bed he’d made on the couch.  He made his way to his bedroom, cracked the door open, and walked over to Angie’s side of the bed.  She was fast asleep, her petite face relaxed and calm.  Stan stared at her for a few seconds, trying to slow his heartrate. He reached out a trembling hand and tucked a strand of hair behind one of her ears.  Angie smiled faintly and mumbled something in her sleep.  He blinked away a few tears.  It was just a dream.  Just a dream.  Stan took a deep breath.  A pretty damn realistic dream.  But just a dream.  He leaned over and kissed Angie on the forehead.

               “I love you,” he whispered to her.  Still asleep, she smiled again.

               “Love ya,” she said softly.  Stan stroked her cheek one last time before exiting their room.  On his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, he checked on the girls.  

               Still sleeping.  Good.  He closed the door quietly.  It was just a dream, Stan.  Just a dream.  He walked into the kitchen and turned on the light.  Stan took a startled step backward, surprised to see his twin sitting at the table.

               “Ford?  What are ya doin’, sittin’ alone in the dark?” Stan asked.  

               “I’m not sure where are the light switches are,” Ford mumbled.  

               “It’s two in the morning, why aren’t ya in bed?”  Ford looked away.  Stan sighed.  “Nightmares?” Ford nodded.

               “Bill won’t let me go,” Ford said softly.  Stan joined his twin at the kitchen table.  “What about you?  Why are you up?”  Stan shrugged.

               “Same reason.”

               “Nightmares?”

               “Yup.”

               “What about?” Ford asked.  Stan drummed his fingers on the table, mentally debating whether or not to tell Ford.

               Eh.  Might as well.

               “I was only a drifter for a few years, but I still fell in with some bad people,” Stan said, looking away.  “And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinkin’ they’re gonna find me again, and hurt the girls and Angie.”  He took a shuddering breath as he attempted to fight back the vivid details from his dream. “I know what they’d do to my family, and it- it’s real nightmare fuel, Sixer.”

               “Have you talked to Angie about this?” Ford asked.  Stan laughed hollowly.

               “Tell my wife I have nightmares where she gets killed in front of me and our kids?  No fuckin’ way.  She’s got enough anxiety as it is.”

               “Fiddleford struggled with anxiety as well,” Ford said softly.  Stan nodded.

               “Runs in the McGucket family.  Angie and I are tryin’ to keep a close eye on the girls, so that if they end up bein’ the same way as their ma, we can nip it in the bud.”  He sighed.  “Really hope they don’t, though.  My kids deserve better than that.”  Stan frowned at the expression Ford was giving him.  “What?”

               “I’m just…so surprised by how devoted you are to your children.”

               “Like me carin’ ‘bout my family is somethin’ new?  It’s the same as when I beat up Crampelter for ya, when we were kids.”

               “What are you gents doin’ in the kitchen at 2am?” a groggy voice asked. Stan and Ford looked over.  Angie stood in the entrance of the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.  “Get some dang sleep.”

               “We, uh, needed a break,” Stan said.  Angie frowned at him.

               “A break from sleep?”  Realization dawned.  “Did the two of ya have nightmares or somethin’?”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck.  

               “Y-yeah,” he mumbled.  Angie walked over and sat on his lap, then wrapped her arms around him.  

               “It’ll be okay,” she whispered, nuzzling her head against his neck.  “It was just a dream.”  Stan wrapped an arm around her torso and squeezed her tightly. Well aware of the intimate nature of their interactions, Ford’s gaze dropped to the table.

               “I know,” Stan said quietly.  Noises began to come from the living room.  “Ah, shit, that dog better not be messin’ with anything it shouldn’t be,” Stan grumbled.  Angie gave him a peck on the cheek.

               “I can take care of it, darlin’.  Try to go back to sleep, okay?”

               “No, no, you need your sleep.  I’m gonna be up for a while anyways.”  Angie stroked Stan’s face.

               “Ya sure?”                                                        

               “Yeah.  Go back to bed.  Maybe Ford and I can take the thing for a walk.”  Stan looked over at Ford.  “Not completely sure Apple’s actually a dog.”

               “Oh, hush,” Angie said softly.  She got up, gave Stan another kiss, nodded at Ford, and left.

               “Still can’t believe you even have a dog,” Ford said.  Stan stood up with a shrug.  He walked into the living room and turned on the light.

               “Kids wanted one.  They spent a weekend at their grandparents’, and Angie’s folks live on a farm, so they were around all sortsa animals.  When we picked ‘em up, the girls wouldn’t stop askin’ for a pet.  They wanted either a dog or a horse.  Dog seemed like the better decision, what with us livin’ in the city.”  Stan looked around the living room.  He finally found the dog, digging through a stack of books near the coffee table. “Hey!  Cut it out!”  Apple barked. “Shut it!  You’ll wake up the kids,” Stan hissed, marching over to Apple and grabbing his collar.  The dog whined softly and licked Stan’s legs.  Stan sighed, his anger gone.  “Damn dog knows how to charm everyone.”  Stan looked over at Ford.  “Come on in here and meet the pooch.”  Ford stood hesitantly.

               “I don’t know, Stanley.  I’m not that good with animals.”

               “C’mon, this thing’s the nicest dog ever.  Hasn’t even growled at anything yet,” Stan said.  “Likes to make messes, but other than that, pretty well-behaved.” Ford cautiously approached the dog. It was a living, breathing small mound of gray and black fur.  

               “Is the dog somewhere under all that hair?” Ford muttered.  Stan chuckled.  His laughter was cut short by Apple suddenly bounding at Ford.  

               “Apple, what the hell?” Stan said.  Ford stared at the furry muzzle in front of his face.  Apple emitted a low growl.  Ford tried to move, but stopped when Apple snarled at him.  “Apple, cut it the fuck out!” Stan barked, pulling the dog off Ford. Apple continued to growl at Ford. “Hot Belgian waffles, Ford, what did ya do, roll in about twenty other dogs?” Stan demanded.  

               “I’m- I’m wearing your clothes, Stanley,” Ford pointed out.  His heart was racing, something he was not pleased by.

               I can go toe-to-toe with an actual dragon in Gravity Falls without my heartrate rising, but I get nervous about my brother’s small dog not liking me?

               “Huh.  You’re right.”  Stan stared at the dog he was still holding back.  “Maybe this dog just…doesn’t like ya.  Which I guess means ya shouldn’t join me on its walk.”

               “Probably not,” Ford agreed.  Stan sighed.  He picked up Apple and carried him out of the living room.  A few minutes later, Stan returned, Apple safely secured on a leash.

               “All right, we’ll be back in, I dunno, fifteen?” Stan said, opening the front door.  “Don’t wait up.”

               “Wasn’t planning on it,” Ford replied.  The door closed with a firm thud.

               Now is the perfect time to investigate. Everyone is asleep or gone. Ford looked over at the pile of books Apple had been pawing through.  That seems like a good place to start.  He picked up a binder and turned it over to look at the cover.

               “Danica and Daisy,” he read out loud.  “Hmm.”  Ford flipped the book open to the first page.  He frowned at the blurry black and white image plastered onto thick paper. “What is that?”  It was clearly printed off from somewhere.  He scanned the page for hints.  Below the image was a simple caption.

               “Twins!” it read, in excited, neat handwriting.  Ford blinked.

               This must be the first sonogram. He examined the sonogram with a bit more interest, managing to make out the fetuses that would become the girls. A small smile played at his lips. This is the first picture ever of my nieces.  He could picture Stan and Angie at the appointment, excited and surprised.

               Ford flipped through the binder, which he now realized was a photo album chronicling Danny and Daisy’s childhood thus far.  After the sonogram were various pictures taken of Stan and Angie preparing for their children.  Ford stopped at the page with Angie’s baby shower, catching a familiar face out of the corner of his eye.  His heart leapt into his mouth at the sight of Fiddleford excitedly hugging his younger sister.  He tore himself away from the picture of his former partner, exuberant and healthy. His gaze instead landed on an adjacent picture, clearly taken after the party.  Stan was sitting on a couch, his heavily pregnant wife leaning against him, asleep.  Ford swallowed at the loving gaze Stan was giving Angie.  

               Dammit, Stanley.  Ford wasn’t sure why he was cursing Stan’s name. Envy, maybe?  Or perhaps he was just frustrated, knowing how much more difficult it would be to convince Stan to leave.  He turned the page, agitated.  The next few pages were devoted exclusively to pictures of Danny and Daisy, presumably short after their birth, judging by their reddened, wrinkled skin.  Ford skimmed the photos of Angie and two young men, likely older brothers of hers, cooing at the infants.  He turned another page.  His heart stopped.

               “Damn,” he whispered.  The page had one photo.  It was of Stan holding Daisy.  Even though all infants looked the same to Ford, he could tell which child it was, given that Stan was holding her six-fingered hand.  A single tear was sliding down Stan’s cheek as he stared at his newborn daughter.  

                I can’t imagine what’s going through his mind, or what all he’s feeling. Ford stared at the picture, wondering if he could interpret the complex expression on Stan’s face; one of joy and love but also sadness, regret, and nostalgia.  After a few minutes, Ford closed the photo album.  I…I can’t ask him to leave, can I?  He’d never do it.  He loves this family he’s built.  He loves them too much to be away, or to leave them all alone.  The front door opened.

               “Ford, I’m back from the walk!” Stan called.  

               If I can’t give Stan the journal, what am I going to do?  Ford continued to stare silently at the photo album as Stan put the dog away and eventually joined him on the floor.

               “Whatchya lookin’ at, Sixer?” Stan asked.  Ford handed the photo album to him without saying a word.  “Oh.  This thing. Yeah, Angie insisted on makin’ a photo album for the girls.”  Ford put his head in his hands.  “Is somethin’ wrong?”  

               “I-” Ford started, but he didn’t finish.  Stan frowned.  

               “What’s goin’ on?”

               “I haven’t told you why I came,” Ford said.

               “Uh, yeah, ya did.  Ya came here because ya got mixed up with some bad guy named Bill, and ya needed to lay low, get some help, whatever.”

               “That’s not the entirety of it.  My intent was…to ask you to take my research, and leave.”

               “Leave?”

               “Yes.  Leave. Go somewhere far away.  The ends of the Earth.  Somewhere Bill’s minions wouldn’t find my research.”  Ford shook his head.  “But I can’t ask you to do that anymore.  You- you have a family.  And your kids, your wife, even that thing you call a dog, they’re your entire world now, aren’t they?”  After a moment, Stan nodded.

               “Yeah.  They are,” he said softly.

               “I don’t know what to do,” Ford whispered, tears beginning to run down his face.  “Bill, he- he’ll follow me anywhere I go.  He’ll never leave me.  This- this was my last chance, the only plan that might end with Bill finally breaking his ties to me.”

               “Ford…”

               “I don’t know what I’m going to do.  For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan, Stanley.”  Ford chuckled hollowly, feeling his exhausted mind finally begin to unravel.  “In my state, I wouldn’t be able to come up with one, anyways.  Bill won’t let me sleep.  He won’t let me enjoy spending time with you and your family.  He’s pulling my strings, turning me into his puppet whenever he wants and I-”

               “Ford.  Stop.” Stan wrapped an arm around his twin and pulled him into a tight hug.  “You’re havin’ some sorta breakdown.  Followin’ your thoughts will only make it worse.  Just take a few deep breaths.  Don’t think of anything.”  Stan could feel Ford gradually get calmer.  “Better?”  Ford nodded silently.  Stan let go. Ford looked away, hurriedly rubbing tear tracks off his face.

               “How did you-”

               “Angie’s had breakdowns before.  After the girls were born, she- she went through a really rough time.” Stan shrugged.  “Doc told me what to do to calm her down.”  He eyed his twin, concerned.  “Ford, how bad are things for ya?”

               “I-”  Ford started to say that he could handle it, but thought better.  “I’d say I don’t know how they could be any worse, but that feels like tempting fate,” he said quietly.  Stan nodded.  “And I legitimately have no idea how to fix what’s gone wrong.  Asking you to flee with my research, that was my last hope.”

               “I’m no scientist or paranormal researcher or whatever,” Stan said, “but it doesn’t seem like that would actually have helped ya.”  Ford was silent.  “Look, Ford, I- I don’t like seein’ ya like this.  I don’t know what we’re gonna do, but we’ll figure somethin’ out.”  

               “You’d do that?”

               “Stanford, you’re my twin.  We have our issues, yeah, but I’m not gonna watch ya have some sort of prolonged mental breakdown and do nothin’ just ‘cause my dog doesn’t like ya.”  Stan looked at the clock on the wall.  “Why don’t ya go back to sleep, and we can talk more in the mornin’.”

               “I can’t sleep,” Ford whispered.

               “Then read a book or, I dunno, lay on the floor for a while and stare at the ceiling.  Ya need rest, Ford, even if it’s not sleep.”

               “Very well.”  Ford reluctantly got up.  Stan watched him leave, dread building in his chest.  After the door to the guest bedroom had closed, Stan stood up and walked over to the kitchen.  Rather than getting a glass of water from the tap, like he had planned, he opened the topmost liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of whisky.

----- 

               Ford woke up at 4:50, like usual.  As he sat in the dark guest room, waiting for…something, his gaze slid over to the bookshelf by the window.  Unbidden, a memory surfaced.

               “Don’t store yer books on the floor, Stanford,” Fiddleford grumbled, after having stubbed his toe against a thick volume on particle physics.

               “There’s no space in my room,” Ford said without looking up.

               “Then keep ‘em in the guest room.  That’s what my fam’ly does, when the bookshelves in our rooms get too full.”

               Ford stood and walked over to the bookshelf.  He squinted at the titles before realizing that he probably should have turned on the light.  After a moment, he grabbed a random book and went back to the bed, where he turned on the bedside lamp.  The book he had selected was, of all things, a novelization of the second Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back.  

               That’s my favorite film.  Why would Stan have it in his guest room? Ford shrugged his curiosity away and opened the book.  

               Ford had just finished reading the book when he heard the distinct sound of an alarm clock going off.  He glanced at the clock.  It was now 6:45.  He placed the book on the bedside table and made his way to the door.  Ford opened the door at the same time that Angie, looking near-delirious, opened hers.  She blinked owlishly at him for a few moments.

               I can practically hear the gears turning in her head.  Does she not remember me?  Finally, recognition dawned, and she smiled sheepishly.

               “Mornin’, Stanford,” she said in a voice thick from sleep.  “Were ya up long?”

               “…No, I woke up when your alarm clock went off,” Ford lied.

               No sense in making her concerned about my sleep schedule.  That’s my own burden to bear.  Angie grimaced.

               “Sorry ‘bout that.”

               “It’s no problem,” Ford said reassuringly.  

               “Hmm.  If ya say so. How’s ‘bout some breakfast?” she said. Ford nodded.

               “That sounds excellent.”  He followed her down the hallway and into the living room.  Stan was still fast asleep on the couch, but the dog must have been put in its kennel, as it was nowhere to be found.  Angie gestured at the table, indicating for Ford to take a seat, before walking over to Stan and kissing him on the forehead.

               “Mornin’, sweet potata,” she said gently.  Stan stretched.

               “Mornin’,” Stan said.  Ford smiled absently at the tenderness between Stan and Angie, as they continued to talk in low tones.  He looked around the kitchen.

               Where’s the coffeepot?

               Everything went black.

----- 

               Ford abruptly came to.  He was face down on the kitchen floor, his nose squashed against the linoleum. Someone was pinning him to the ground.

               “Stanley?” Ford said, his voice muffled.  “Why are you holding me down?”

               “Ya grabbed a fork off the counter and started stabbin’ yourself,” his twin replied.  

               “That wasn’t me.  That was Bill.”

               “How was that Bill?” Angie asked.

               “Bill can…possess people who have given him permission,” Ford explained.

               “Why the hell did ya give him permission?” Stan demanded.  Ford sighed.

               “It’s complicated.  Now, are you going to let me up or not?”

               “Until ya can prove it was Bill who did that, I’m not lettin’ ya go.”

               “Stanley, please,” Ford said desperately.

               “His voice is back to normal,” Angie added.

               “…Fine.”  Stan let go of Ford.  Ford pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the painful wounds on his arms.  

               “Never thought I’d have to clean blood off my kitchen floor,” Angie said. Her attempt at a lighthearted tone was marred by her voice quavering.  Ford looked at his sister-in-law.  She gasped.  “Yer eye!” Ford gingerly touched his eye. His fingers came away damp with blood.

               “Damn,” he whispered.  “It’s- it’s a side effect of Bill’s possession.  Nothing to worry about.”

               “Yeah, right,” Stan scoffed.  He helped Ford stand up.  “Let’s get ya to the ER.”

               “No!” Ford said immediately.  “I can’t go to the hospital!”

               “Ya stabbed yourself with cutlery and your eye is bleedin’,” Stan said. “You’re goin’.”

               “Stanley, what would the doctors do if you told them I entered some sort of fugue state, wounded myself, and then blamed it on a demon?”  

               “They’d have ya institutionalized,” Angie said softly.  

               ��We don’t mention Bill,” Stan suggested.  Angie shook her head.

               “If we told ‘em he harmed himself, they’d place him under observation, at least.  At most, they’d still institutionalize him.”  Stan rubbed his face, frustrated.

               “And we’d be dealin’ with cops if we say he got attacked.  And no one would believe it was an accident.  Well, shit.”  Stan looked at Angie.  “You’ve got first-aid trainin’, right?”  

               “Yessir,” Angie replied.  “I’ll get the kit, see if I can’t patch him up.  In the meantime, Ford…”

               “Yes?” Ford asked.  Angie smiled apologetically.

               “Would ya mind standin’ over the sink?  I hate to ask ya, but yer drippin’ blood all over the kitchen floor.”

               “Oh.  Right.” Ford walked over to the sink and watched bright red liquid drip onto the white porcelain.

               “Sorry ‘bout that,” Stan said, joining him at the counter.  “Angie can have…issues if things aren’t clean enough. Especially when guests are visiting.” Stan sighed.  “Pretty sure it’s another thing that runs in her fam’ly.”

               “Fiddleford was similar,” Ford said softly.  

               “‘Was’?”

               “The last time I saw Fiddleford, he clearly didn’t care about cleanliness any more.”  There were footsteps.

               “I’m back,” Angie said.  “Stanford, go ahead and take a seat at the table, would ya?”  Ford covered his eye to prevent further dripping on the peach linoleum.  Stan gently guided him to a chair next to Angie.  Angie was busily unpacking the first aid kit, setting aside bandages and antiseptics.  She looked at him and pursed her lips.  

               “…What?” Ford asked.  Angie sighed.

               “I just ain’t sure what to do ‘bout yer eye.  I could try to bandage it, but I don’t want it to fester,” she replied.  After a moment, she took out a roll of gauze.  “Here, hold this under it until it stops bleedin’.”  Ford did as he was told.  Angie scooted her chair closer to his and took one of his arms, then began to dab a damp cotton ball on his wounds.  Ford hissed slightly from the stinging.  “It hurts?” Angie asked.  Ford nodded. “Good.  That means it’s workin’.”

               “So, Ford, does this possession thing happen very often?” Stan asked. Ford shrugged, making Angie cluck her tongue disapprovingly at the movement.  

               “It happens when Bill wants it to happen, essentially.  Though it normally would only happen if I was unconscious.”

               “Hon, the bags under yer eyes are big enough fer me to use as a purse,” Angie said.  “Usin’ common sense, I’d say that yer at risk in this state.”  She tilted her head.  “Sort of like the immune system.  Sometimes yer more sensitive to attacks, sometimes yer less sensitive.  ‘N times when yer exhausted, malnourished, or ill, yer more sensitive.”  

               “I didn’t think about it that way,” Ford said after a moment.  Angie cracked a half-smile.

               “Stanford, I’m surprised ya can think anything with how much of a wreck ya are right now.”  

               “So we need to fix this problem yesterday,” Stan said.  Ford nodded.  “Okay. How do we do that?”

               “Well, first, we need to break any ties I have with Bill,” Ford said. “Then, I can go to Gravity Falls and dismantle the portal, as well as block off the way I initially came into contact with Bill.”

               “And help Fiddleford,” Angie added.

               “Yes.  Of course.”

               “All right, the second and third thing seem pretty easy,” Stan said, rubbing his chin.  “But how do we do the first part?  Some sort of ritual?”

               “I’m not quite sure.  Maybe.”

               “No, sir.  No witchcraft in my house,” Angie said immediately.

               “Then what are you suggesting?” Ford asked warily.  Angie put aside the cotton ball, which was now a light pink.

               “How does the possession work?” Angie asked.  “Does he take control of a specific portion of yer brain, or all of it, during possession?  Can he access yer memories?  Are there certain control centers in yer brain that he can’t play train conductor with?” Ford stared at her, his mouth open.

               I’ve never thought of the possession from a neurological standpoint before.  Why haven’t I?

               “I’m…not sure,” he said.

               “Then that’s where we’ll start.”

               “What?” Stan asked.

               “I’ve got a friend what works in Neurology at the hospital,” Angie said. “I’ll call her up, see if I can’t get her to give ya a brain scan.”

               “I doubt you’d be able to do a brain scan during a possession,” Ford said. Angie stilled.  

               “Yer right,” she said softly.

               “Then do it while he’s asleep,” Stan suggested.  Angie and Ford looked over at him.  “You said ya get nightmares from him whenever you fall asleep, right?” Stan asked Ford.  Ford nodded. “So he’s in your brain then, right?” Ford nodded again.  “I guess it’s not as good as gettin’ the scan while he’s possessed, but it’s a start,” Stan said.  Angie beamed at her husband.

               “Yer so clever, love,” she said.  Stan grinned back at her.

               “Not as clever as you.”

               “Just as clever,” Angie insisted. “Only in dif’rent ways.”  She began to bandage Ford’s arms.  “So, Stanford, since yer the guest, and yer ill, what do ya want fer breakfast?” Ford blinked, taken aback by the rapid change in topic.

               “Oh.  Um, hashbrowns?” he said hesitantly.  Angie nodded.

               “Stan, would ya get breakfast started while I finish up here?”

               “On it,” Stan said.  As he walked by Ford on his way to the fridge, Stan clapped a heavy hand on Ford’s shoulder.  “See, Sixer? Told ya we’d work somethin’ out.”

                 Two days later, Ford sat in the living room of his twin’s house and flipped through his journal idly.  He looked up at Angie, who was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, on the phone. Ford could hear splashes and chatter coming from the bathroom, where Stan was giving the girls their nightly bath.

               “Jenny, are ya adjustin’ to things all right?” Angie asked.  “I’ve told ya, Stan ‘n I can take the lil feller off yer hands fer as long as it takes to set things in order.”  Ford looked back down at his journal.  

               I’ve already been here three days.  When is the brain scan going to happen?  I have to return to Gravity Falls at some point.  But even though he was eager to dismantle the portal and finally remove Bill’s grip on his dimension, Ford was hesitant to leave his twin’s home.  It’s just so…warm and welcoming.  And I hadn’t realized how starved I was for interpersonal interactions.

               “Oh, did my ma tell ya ‘bout that?  Yes, apparently Stan had an estranged twin, that he never told anyone in my fam’ly about, and that twin is the same person what hired Fidds to work up in Oregon!  Ain’t that wild?”  Ford shrunk into the armchair he was sitting in, well aware of the fact that Angie was looking directly at him.  “Hmm? That’s how I found out, was meetin’ him, yes.  Is he still here?  I’m lookin’ at him right now.  Really?” Angie covered the receiver with her hand.  “Ford, Jenny’d like to talk to ya.  She’s Fiddleford’s wife.”

               “…Oh,” Ford mumbled.  Angie pursed her lips.

               “Get yourself over here, Stanford.  It’s the least ya could do.  Jenny don’t have her husband and Tate don’t have his father no more.” Ford nodded reluctantly and stood. He walked over to Angie.  “Here he is.”  Ford took the phone from her.  He cleared his throat.

               “Hello, Mrs. McGucket.”

               “Stanford Pines.”  The voice was smooth and soft, nothing like Fiddleford’s rather rough southern accent. “I’ve been wondering if I should reach out to you.  But I decided to wait for a sign.  You ending up at my sister-in-law’s house definitely qualifies.”

               “Look, I’m sorry for what happened to Fiddleford, I-”

               “This isn’t about my husband,” Jenny interrupted.  Ford blinked.  “It’s about Tate.”

               “Y-your son?”

               “Your son.”  Ford’s heart stopped.

               “I, uh, I think I misheard you or-”

               “No, you didn’t,” Jenny said in a tired voice.  “It’s something Fiddleford and I discussed before we even got engaged.  The identity of his son’s other biological parent.”

               “But I- it’s impossible for-”

               “Tate’s a smart lil boy, with far too much brown hair, pretty blue eyes, and twelve fingers.”  Ford’s blood ran cold.  “He’s also a bit over six years old.  Do you remember meeting Fiddleford for dinner about seven years ago?”

               “Y-yes.”

               “And do you remember that dinner going very well, and waking up next to Fiddleford the next morning?”

               “…Oh.  Oh, no.”

               “Here’s the thing.  Tate is your son, Stanford.  And now that his pa is out of the picture, you really need to step up.  He needs a father figure in his life.”

               “Stan is-”

               “-his uncle,” Jenny finished.  “Not his dad.  No, that’s who you are.”  Ford swallowed.  “I was going to turn Angie down on her offer to have Tate stay, but if you’re there, well…”

               “I’m not planning on staying long,” Ford said hurriedly.

               “Then you take him with you when you leave.  You’re going to be there for your son, Stanford.”

               “I-”

               “It was nice to meet you, even if it was just over the phone.  Give the phone back to Angie, please?  We’ve got to figure out how and when I’m dropping Tate off,” Jenny said pleasantly.  Completely numb, Ford handed the phone back to Angie, who had been hovering nearby, trying to act casual.

               “Hey there, Jenny,” Angie said cheerfully.  “Oh, Tate is goin’ to visit after all?  Why, sure!  We’ll take good care of him.”  Ford walked to the guest bedroom, completely empty.  Stan found him sitting in the dark, staring at the wall, an hour later.

               “Uh, Ford?  What’s goin’ on?” Stan asked, turning on the light.  Ford shook his head.  Stan closed the door to the hallway and sat down next to Ford on the bed.  “Did Jenny really tear ya a new one that bad?”

               “She didn’t yell,” Ford said hoarsely.  “She- she told me that Tate is my son.”  Stan squinted at Ford for a few seconds.

               “…What?”

               “Stanley, I- I have a son that I didn’t even know about!”  

               “Tate is your…?  Well, now the twelve fingers makes sense.”  Ford didn’t say anything.  “But holy fuck, Stanford.  You’re knockin’ up your assistants?”

               “I- Fiddleford wasn’t my assistant back then.  Just a dear friend,” Ford said quietly.  Stan scoffed.

               “Sounds like he was a bit more than that.”

               “I- I can’t do this.  I’m not ready to be a father, to a child I didn’t even know about,” Ford whispered. He groaned and put his head in his hands.  “This- this wasn’t a situation I ever expected to find myself in.”

               “What, ‘cause you’re gay?”

               “No, because I’m the responsible one.”

               “Really?”  Ford looked at Stan, startled by the venom in his twin’s tone. “You’re the responsible one?  Ya knocked up your old college buddy, and didn’t talk to him in years. So ya never figured out that his son, your son had twelve fingers and was born nine months after you two knocked boots.  You’re sittin’ in my damn guest room, just across the hall from where my happy and healthy daughters are sleepin’, stewin’ over how you’re not ready to be a father, and ya can’t do this. But sure, you’re the responsible one.”

               “Stanley, I didn’t mean it that way.”

               “No, ya did,” Stan snapped.  He took a steadying breath.  “You didn’t think you’d be the one with a surprise kid.  You thought it’d be me.  Hell, that’s what I thought, too.  But then I fuckin’ manned up.  Which is what you need to do now.”

               “I can’t.”

               “Bullshit.  I’m the dumb twin.  I don’t know squat.  But I figured out how to be a good dad.  You, the fuckin’ genius, should be able to do it in half the time it took me.”  Stan glared at Ford.  “And ya don’t have a choice.  Ford, do ya want your kid to have an absent father?  Do ya want your son to have a shitty dad, like we had?”

               “…No.”

               “Then don’t let that happen,” Stan said firmly.  “I’m sure you’ll be fine, and if ya need help, well, stayin’ at home and helpin’ with kids is in my job description.  But seriously.  Whether ya like it or not, you’re gonna be there for Tate.  You have to.  Understand?” Ford nodded silently. “Good.”  Stan stood up and walked over to the door.  He opened it, but just before leaving, turned back to Ford. “And Stanford?”

               “Yeah?”

               “Congrats.”

#Stay at Home Stan AU #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Gravity Falls OC #Angie McGucket #Apple the ''dog'' #Mrs. McGucket #Gravity Falls AU #Gravity Falls #Stan at Home #fanfiction #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks