#i just truly don't know what's behind this.. i think i always created many posts where I invited to discussion

[herecirmsims]

SMALL SIMBLR SATURDAY SHOUTOUTS !!

I somehow missed this being arranged, but I LOVE the idea!! So much! Big up to all the incredible free CC makers on here who share such wonderful things with us. I've spent all morning writing this so it's got a bit long, but honestly... I think it was an excellent use of my time.

Keep being excellent, all of you!

Just a few of my Always Free faves:

Poses

@simmireen : the queen! The legend! And someone who I'm so happy to call my friend. Irene is absolutely my go-to when I need those sweet (and sometimes spicy!) moments. I know she doubts herself at times and doesn't like it when I yell about how amazing she is, but she is such a treasure and does SO much behind the scenes - more than many people realise, I think.

@alpine-lapine-deactivated202311 : unfortunately they're not on Tumblr anymore, but I'm including them anyway because I LOVE them and they've created so many fantastic free posepacks, CC, and tutorials - it's all still available to download!

@adjusted-karma : I'm rabidly addicted to her pin-up series, I don't mind admitting it. All her poses are so good though, she also makes CAS and pose accessories, and has been kind enough to answer my dumb Blender questions more than once!

@samsstudio : an absolute staple for storytellers. She was one of the first posemakers I ever discovered and I use her poses in almost every story post I make - the variations are so useful and the packs are so clearly labelled and organised, I love not having to squint at my screen to figure out what I need. There's always something that works perfectly for the scene.

@simmerberlin : she may be retired from posemaking, but how could I not include her? I also use SimmerBerlin's poses in pretty much all of my story posts (SimmerBerlin and SamsStudio single-handedly keep my story going) - especially her fantastic Emotions series.

@libetsims : this posemaker really needs to be seen more! I use her Emotions series all the time, and she makes so many child poses which are sorely needed for storytellers!

@madebycoffee : so many great posepacks - I use the Hugs series and the spicy poses so often. And the deco Sims! So good and so needed!!

@rebouks : fantasic, expressionate poses that are PERFECT for storytellers. And so many fantastic packs to choose from!

@marshmallow-sims : I really adore their cute style!! Another go-to for cute couple poses, especially ones that fit with the TS4 style. There's always so much life to them.

@raspberrywhimss : my beloved! A new posemaker but so talented! She also makes a lot of storytelling pregnancy poses, which I think are much needed.

@whimsyalien : I love how emotive her poses are!! They're so fun and with such great expressions. Perfect for storytellers!

@enniewritesathing : one of the first posemakers whose poses I ever used! They are sooooo good at spice and cute couples.

@theserenadeofshadows : another new posemaker and an absolute angel!! Please show her some support!

@ratboysims : the quality of these poses are soooo good! Absolutely one of my favourite makers.

@morrigan-sims : another Simmer who could go in any category, but I especially love her poses! Really good for fantasy/medieval storytellers!

Toysofdukeness : they aren't actually on Tumblr, but I'm including them anyway! Absolutely amazing quality poses. Just so good.

CAS

@notsooldmadcatlady : my go-to for medieval* outfits (I think this tag will show you most of their CC!). My Sims are so well-dressed now!! I'm blown away by the quality of their clothes! *Aka clothes that suit my extremely pseudo-medieval fantasy storyline lmao

@woosteru : they're retired, but if you missed them - their CC is still available here! Truly amazing quality and they also made some femme clothing for masc frames, which I truly appreciate.

@crazy-lazy-elder-sims : amaaaaazing alt clothing lines!! Always jaw-dropping and so creative. They also make BB items too!

@kevinandthesims : literally the best boxers available; I don't make the rules, that's just fact. And he also shares incredible no CC builds!

@xldkx-cc : I didn't know whether to put them in CAS or BB, because I rely HEAVILY on their amazing deco Sims but they also make stunning clothing and hair! So... just check out both?!

@laeska : I'm in love with the hair this creator makes!! It's SO beautifully made?!

@courierseis : another whose outfits I use all the time in my medieval/fantasy stuff! They also make hair and poses! Use this tag to easily find their downloads.

@lonelygravescc : more delicious alt goodness!! Honestly I wish I could own most of this CC in real life, but alas I will have to live vicariously through my Sims as usual.

@aniraklova : oki so I have an alt obsession, what of it? This creator makes SUCH cool masc-frame CC, as well as poses!

@shandir : I'm soooo in love with these creations, another absolute must have for fantasy-medieval gameplay and storytelling!!

@eachuisge-cc : the imagination and creativity!! I love everything they make - lots of stuff for horses and for animalistic Sims. I've also been highly entertained by the digitigrade legs + unmentionables saga (I dunno if Tumblr flags these words lmaaaaoo).

@saruin : OBSESSED. Obsessed! So many great creations for your ethereal, occult, otherworldly babes.

@zeussim : maker of stunning wedding dresses and also the fantastic Lestat's Lovers set, which requires it's own shout-out because I adore it and it made me so happy to see siuch great fashion for our masc-framed Sims.

@yooniesim : the hair this creator makes are GORGEOUS, and I also really love their accessories too!

@sychik : I think they might be retired now, but they were the first CC creator I ever downloaded from because they'd made hairs and clothing for The Arcana characters. I'd only just got Sims and I spent many happy hours playing with the Main 6, so I hope they know how much joy they gave me. You can use this tag to easily find CC.

Build/Buy

@surely-sims : I was in two minds about whether to include Anne in Poses or BB (or CAS!), because she is THAT talented that she does all. But her BB is so fun and unique and I'm obsessed with the vintage-style promo pics she makes for it, too. I'm also obsessed with Shromp on a cellular level... I'm in a cult of my own making tbh. Oh! And Anne has also started streaming CC tutorials on Twitch which are excellent!

@lumenniveus : I only discovered him fairly recently (because I heard there may be more Shromp content) but I am OBSESSED. OBSESSED. In fact I'm going to specifically shout-out the Runestone and Herbal Cottage Set because I'm using them so much right now and they've instantly become a must-have for my Mods folder.

@destruam : these conversions are EVERYTHING!! I use so much of their CC, especially to stock my medieval story scenes. They also make CAS outfits!

@buildbuymode : some excellent BB and CAS items, and also the maker of the baby rug hider mod which is SO necessary for storytelling/pose use hahah.

@bakiegaming : honestly, what can't this creator do?! I'm OBSESSED with their mods for animated animal life, and they also make fantastic BB and CAS items too.

And a special mention to @simdertalia : although she has recently had to start making a few sets early access, she was creating huge amounts of CC entirely for free before then and has always been so kind and generous. She is absolutely an integral part of my Mods folder because I use her CC all the time (and have made several poses for pieces that inspired me, too). It's always the highest quality and I frequently find myself discovering something that I didn't know I needed but now couldn't go without!

#smallsimblrsaturday #alwaysfreecc #sims 4 poses #sims 4 cas #sims 4 build buy #sims 4 cc #ts4 poses #ts4 cc

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Chapter 105 Thoughts:

Hello everyone. I hope you have all been well, considering the hectic and honestly devastating month this has been for many people across the world. It's sad how awful real life can be. I'm so sorry to everyone who is affected directly and indirectly. Though words can only do so much, I sincerely hope things get better for you all.

Now then... regarding this chapter.

This was definitely a spectacle. So much happened and though we had an idea of where the chapter was going to go because of the last pages from the previous chapter, it still managed to catch me off guard. I don't think anyone saw a literal "deus ex machina" ship to appear, but at the same time... of course that would happen. Ms. Ichikawa loves pulling stunts like this. Whether it's good or not is up for debate. More on this later.

But the one thought that came to mind after reading this chapter was: "Finally." We are truly now in the final stretch of Phos's story, and I couldn't be more happier for them... BUT that feeling got muddied when I saw the bottom of the final page.

Another hiatus.

Sigh. I'll also touch on this in this post. But for now, I'll share my thoughts on this chapter with you. These posts always end up being longer than first intended so sorry in advance! As always, please feel free to share what you think on here too!

(Just so you know, I was extremely tired when I wrote this so it may be convoluted in some areas. I'll likely tidy it up later after I get some proper rest. Hope you enjoy it regardless!)

The Deus Ex Machina Ship: Why??

Was anyone else surprised that the object Brother Eyeball was carrying was a piece of Lunarian technology, that seems to only activate under the extreme heat of a sun that's about to consume the planet? I certainly didn't see it coming at all and I don't know how to feel about it at the moment.

Based on everything up until this point and Phos's comments here, it's evidently clear that Aechmea planted it there for this specific occasion. My question is why? Why did Aechmea bother in leaving this for Phos?

Perhaps Aechmea hoped Phos would take the new remnants of humanity and create a new society once again on a new planet, sort of like what Adamant did for the Lustrous. Maybe this was some twisted/backhanded way of thanking Phos and giving them another second chance of surviving? I don't know, but if it's the Lunarians' weird way of trying to save Phos, it's kind of pointless. Like Phos said, running to another planet would only be a temporary solution since everything was going to be consumed by the dying stars eventually. Even though the little rocks and Eyeball still take the ship in the end just to survive a little longer, I don't really see the point of it either.

(Edit: Made small change here and included the page that I forgot to add.)

The only reason I can come up with for this ship to being there is that Aechmea knew of another place in space that wouldn't be affected by the dying suns and he wanted Phos and their new remnants of humanity to go there. But I honestly I believe that theory fully, so I don't know.

What do you guys think? Is there a reason why the lotus flower ship was intentionally left behind, other than Ms. Haruko just wanting a reason for Phos to be along again? To me, the only thing that was clear was that this ship was left for Phos and whoever else was with them that would only activate when the planet was going to be destroyed.

But this leads me to my next questions and segment...

Burning the Bridge: Phos's Final Actions

Unlike the lotus ship, Phos's actions in this chapter did not come as a surprise to me. Phos had long accepted that they were ready to finally disappear. And before the ship, it looked like the other beings were fine with it as well.

It was only when the ship appeared that the others expressed their desire to exist just a little longer, which completely understandable and I don't fault them for feeling this way.

It's touching and sad how Phos made sure that all those beings, including the final pebble that was introduced in this chapter, made it onto the ship so they could escape while Phos choose to stay behind. More on that in the next segment.

But back to Phos and their final decision to stay behind. So, we know that the ship was intentionally left for Phos by Aechmea and the Lunarians. And though it was used in the end, Phos chose to stay. Now my question is... was Phos's final decision to stay on the planet still part of Aechmea's plan, or was it part of the Professor's plan?

I've hypothesized in an older post that I thought that while Aechmea was a frightfully powerful being who was able to predict Phos's actions and successfully manipulate them, he wasn't truly omnipresent nor omnipotent since he couldn't predict everything and there were individuals that were not totally under his control.

I want to believe that Phos's final actions fall into that category. Part of me really wants to believe that Phos not getting on the ship was a final middle finger from the Professor through Adamant to Aechmea and everything he stood for.

But then again... this could have been an outcome Aechmea expected, too. It's honestly hard to say how much of everything that had happened was still going according to Aechmea's grand plan since it wasn't made clear if Aechmea knew of this memory of the professor that Adamant held onto.

Sorry for the ramble. I'll just say that unless I'm told otherwise, I'll believe that Phos's final actions was their final act of defiance towards Aechmea, in the name of the Professor.

I can only hope that Phos will finally be at piece once that bridge is burnt to the ground.

So, now that it seems like Phos's story is going to end, albeit in several months... there are still some elements in this story that have not yet been resolved. But after re-reading this chapter, I have a theory for one of them.

The Identity of The Last Passenger of the Lotus Ship (my silly theory)

This is a silly theory I came up with to try to explain one of the last mysteries of this story. It's been proven untrue, but I still want to keep it here because I still like it and had fun coming up with it!

One plot point that many others have brought up before, that I've admittedly forgotten over and over again, are the Ice Floes. These mysterious creatures played a unique role in the beginning but had quickly lost their relevancy in the story.

Now that the planet is about to be destroyed, it seems the Ice Floes will forever lose their significance in this story, though they hadn't been relevant in a long while. Well... I have a theory and it relates to the last member of Phos's little pebble family.

In this chapter, Ms. Ichikawa made it a point to have Phos collect this one last pebble and put on the ship. Though all of the pebble beings are unique to one another, this one is the most different from all of them. For one, it's significantly smaller than the other pebbles, almost the size of a grain of rice. And unlike the others, it hasn't spoken once, though Phos could sense its very faint presence, so it is sentient to a degree.

With all of this in mind, I couldn't help but wonder why Ms. Ichikawa included this in the story now? Why did she make pages dedicated to Phos collecting this pebble right when the planet is about to die? She had to have done it for a reason, but why? Why is this teeny pebble important?

Well, here's my theory: This teeny tiny pebble is what's left of the Ice Floes.

I came up with this theory based on a few things.

My first clue is the location where it was found. Judging from the details in these pages, this tiny pebble was in the middle of a dried up ocean.

The second is the type of rock I think it is. Ms. Ichikawa incorporated a lot of rock and mineral information in this story for her characters. I'm not sure if that's the case in this instance, but please allow me to indulge in my rock nerd side for a bit. I strongly believe it is a sedimentary rock. Sedimentary rocks are formed when bits of pre-existing rocks, inorganic material, and/or bits of once organic life forms accumulate and gradually get compacted and cemented together. This type of rock is found everywhere, but especially in the ocean.

The third and most supportive piece of evidence was Phos's comments on page 16.

Phos recognizes that this pebble is similar to the other rock life forms AND it's consciousness had been there since the beginning of the earth, meaning it's much older than nearly everything on this planet, including Phos and Eyeball. To me, this cemented my theory.

Of course, this is just me guessing. And I'll admit, when I went to look up the Ice Floes again, the HnK wiki states that Eyeball and the Ice Floes are connected, so I could very much be wrong. It was still fun to theorize haha

Please tell me what you think!

Edit: Well, it looks like that theory was incorrect. Oh well! I still had fun coming up with it. Thank you @laloyoungblood for letting me know.

The End Is Near and Yet So Far...

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again: I can't wait to see how this story ends. And if the story is going to end at 108 chapters, I'd be so happy, and the ending of this chapter had me excited for the final climax of the story...

Until I saw the excerpt at the bottom of the page.

Houseki no Kuni won't be returning until the spring of 2024... And we just barely came back from the other hiatus...

Now don't get me wrong, waiting through hiatuses is nothing new for me and I'm glad more mangaka are trying to prioritize their health and happiness than trying to rush their stories because of a deadline.

But these hiatuses are a bit annoying, I'm not going to lie. If there's one thing I know I won't miss with this series, it's the many, many hiatuses Ms. Ichikawa had done.

I know it'll be okay in the end. There are more important things going on in my life now, so I know I won't dwell on it for much longer. But at the same time, I just want this story to finally cross the finish line. We're so close to the end, and yet the goal post is moved again.

I just want to see this story end soon. And I hope it'll be worth it.

Okay! That's all for now. Thank you to everyone who reads and responds to my posts. I love all your responses. I don't know how many of you will stick around when I stop doing these posts, but I'm honestly really grateful to you.

Hope the rest of the month goes well for you all! Stay safe out there.

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk spoilers #hnk #hnk thoughts #hnk phos #haruko ichikawa #hnk spoiler #lotl #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk theories #hnk chapter 105 #personal thoughts #hnk meta #hnk manga #hnk manga spoilers

[word-wytch]

tldr: extremely sappy and vulnerable post ahead

My baby, Don't Stand So Close To Me, turns one year old today.

After a lifelong history of abandoning creative projects, my love for the story I wanted to tell and my newly found passion for the art of writing finally surpassed my fear of rejection, and so I stepped out of the Shire and onto this very long road.

Listen, I know I'm talking about a fanfiction and being very dramatic, but in my opinion every creative endeavor holds the same amount of weight no matter if you're writing books for money, or writing songs for the radio, or songs played only in your bedroom. It all requires you to dig deep and face yourself.

This is the longest and hardest I have ever worked on a creative project in my life.

Over the course of the past year I have come to know myself in a way that I think only writing a novel chapter by chapter for an online community could accomplish. There have been some very dark times, but facing your shadow is always illuminating. Through it, I have grown exponentially both as a writer and as a person.

If I could offer one piece of writing (and life) advice it would be this: Let yourself be where you are. Love yourself here, now. You have been good enough, are good enough, and will be good enough, always. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Your only responsibility is to keep the flame of your joy for creating alive. And that's it. The rest will take care of itself.

I know this is easier said than done. I know this from the painful experience of having believed the opposite about myself at one point.

All artists want to be seen on some level, we need to be. But ultimately, no amount of external validation can supplement the intrinsic love you have for creating. It's even better shared with others, but it comes first from within. I would argue that even if all you had was an idea that made you so giddy that you had to run laps around the room, then you have it all. Your only job is to keep that love alive. It's what I'm chasing every day. More than followers, or notes, or any superficial measure of success. That feeling is everything. The love that I have for my art and this character is everything. The love that I have for myself is, ultimately, everything.

It is a natural part of the journey for all creatives to encounter blocks and adversities, so when it feels like you've lost that joy or you're dragging your forehead against your keyboard in the thick of it, please do not fret. The real secret is that you can never really lose the spark, because you are the spark. You'll feel it again. You're not broken. You haven't failed. Just love yourself anyway and let yourself be where you are, even if that's crying into your ice cream.

Because the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel is not something that once closed, will stay closed forever. It's something you love yourself back to again, and again, and again, and again. And maybe, after your muscles build and your blisters heal, you'll come to enjoy the journey.

For the first time in my creative life I truly feel seen. Thank you all for seeing me, for coming on this journey with me. Thank you to every reader who's left a kind word, every friend that I've made as a result of pursuing this. There are too many to name. I have never been a part of a fan community in this capacity and I feel so unspeakably lucky to have found such a home in this one.

I want to thank, most especially, the people who have both figuratively and literally held my hand throughout the last year behind the scenes. Thank you for sending me coffee, letting me bounce ideas, send massive emails, text feverish voice messages back and forth, keysmash spoilers at you, cry on your shoulder, and fangirl over our boy (and his teacher) @toxicjayhoo @storiesbyrhi @the-unforgivenn @munson-blurbs @jo-harrington @rip-quizilla

I love you.

#dssctm #dssctm updates #updates #personal

[peninkwrites]

(putting my very long, very personal ramble under a readmore so folks can avoid it) (this won't include any of my plans for going forward or for my writing but I'm not going anywhere so don't worry about that. love to you all.)

A little disclaimer: If you have zero context for what I'm talking about, apologies for not explaining in depth, but this post won't be relevant to you otherwise. All you really need to know is that it seems that Wilbur Soot is an abuser, and Shubble came forward and talked about it recently. He was not named, but from what she shared, I believe that was who she was talking about. I don't say this to speculate, and if you disagree, I'm not here to argue over it, but it's enough for me personally to not to want to support him indefinitely, save for Shubble explicitly saying she wasn't talking about him.

Additionally, these thoughts are some incredibly personal and self-centered rambling. It does not reflect where my priorities lie, with supporting Shelby for coming forward above all else, but other people have said that much better than I have, and this post is really just a place for me to vent some of my feelings.

I prided myself on not falling prey to “parasocial relationships.” I didn’t get invested in the personal lives of content creators, only in their creative works. I thought this protected me somehow. I knew next to nothing about Wilbur Soot’s personal life, but I admired him deeply as a writer and empathized with him as an artist. I projected so heavily onto his character and did so for over three years. When I waited for his final dsmp stream, I felt panicked. Like my survival hinged on how he ended this story, and then he ended it in a way I could live with, and I thought I could go on loving this story and these characters for what they had been, no matter how messy the rest of the endings to follow were. His character was mine in so many ways. He had some of my problems and I gave him some of my own. I used him to process quite a bit. And now that part of myself is irrevocably tainted.

When the stuff came out about Dream, I was upset, but not betrayed. I never followed the creator and he existed only as a character to me. All I grieved then was the community his actions destroyed and most importantly the people he hurt. I planned to continue writing for the DSMP, even as I refused to follow any content involving him. It felt like a pause, not a full stop, while I ensured what I was doing did not show him any support. I also gave that character no pity and therefore the man behind him no pity, I had no personal investment in his character.

Now my response is visceral and bitter and I don’t know how to go on writing, because this character meant the world to me. I don’t know how to write about a character I truly love and see myself in, knowing the person who also loved and saw himself in that character, who created that character, has done horrible things. I don’t know how to write any of these other characters I have loved and cared for for over 3 years because he has poisoned them. All of it turns my stomach now and I feel so betrayed. The thought of his character is tainted because it’s connected to his voice and his face. I cannot separate the art from the artist both because it was the inclusion of the authorship within the story which affected me so strongly, and because there are things within the text that I look back on now and can only see that this person was always this way. I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of c!Wilbur’s line when he found out about exile, “he didn’t actually hit you though“ and his horror when c!Tommy responded that he had, that for some reason that was the turning point. The implication that it was only crossing that line, that particular type of violence, which made something wrong. Fucking disgusting.

I’ve tried to find another story before now. For the last few years, honestly, I’ve looked for something to latch onto the way I have with this one, but nothing feels the way this did. I know I’ve been clinging to something gone or at least mostly gone, both the community and the story, but I haven’t known how to let go when nothing makes me feel the same way, even when the feeling has faded and changed so much with time. This was never supposed to go on this long. Honestly, the reason I started posting mcyt stuff to my sideblog instead of my main was because I assumed I would get over it in a few weeks, delete the posts, and move on. Three years. 40 works. Over a million words. Just. Fuck.

I loved these characters so much and I’ve wrapped up my writing in them for so long it’s hard to separate the two. At this point, it feels like these characters are what allow me to write, separate from the main story, but a place where I could work things out for myself as a person and try new things as a writer. And I’ve tried so hard to feel the same way about the QSMP, but maybe it’s because we’re out of lockdown so I don't have time to watch much, or I’ve just changed more than I’ve thought, but I haven't gotten attached the way I did even when I look at the stories being built there and can see the heart in them, the storytelling, the care, just as much as the DSMP if not more. There’s no good reason for it, it just hasn’t locked into place the way this story had, having been the perfect storm of circumstances. The DSMP came to me during one of the worst years of my life, and I have loved it so much I miss that time even with all the bad it carried too.

And now this thing I have been holding onto can only make me angry, hit me with grief and disgust. Fuck, the only plan I’ve had for an original novel in years is a loose adaptation of TDDD. My senior thesis was largely a novella about two siblings with a complicated relationship, the older fatalistic, the younger brave to the point of ignorance. So even that original project has poison in it now. All of it, all of my fucking work, all of my growth as a writer, all of my writing for over three fucking years has poison in it.

I’ve felt lost as a writer for a long time and the only thing keeping me anchored was these characters. And I don’t know how to cut them away from myself and I don’t know how to cut him away from what’s left when his writing, his character, undeniably gave me so much of a spark. When I’m happy, I write. When I’m sad, I write. There's so much bad in the world right now, but I could always fall back on writing. And now my main means of escape is the grief. Far more than ever before. I know this too shall pass and all that, and this hasn’t actually stolen my ability to write, but right now it all feels so ruined. I don’t know how long it will take for me to be able to look back on what I’ve made and not feel like this. I'd maybe moved on in some ways, but not all. There was so much left I wanted to do.

If you’ve somehow read this far, know that I love this community with my whole heart. I never quite made friends with any of you, even as I wanted to, and it's felt too late for a long time now. My beloved mutuals (and followers that are mutuals in all but name) I have found so much joy with you, in what all of you have created. I wish I could hold onto that above all else, even if I’m not quite sure how. I’m not going anywhere, to be clear. I won’t delete my blog and fall off the face of the earth or anything. I still love what all of you create and care about, even if things have changed and our interests don’t always align anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to detach this story from the creator, to love any of it the way I did or even love what I myself created again. I don’t really know why I’m writing this or if I’ll even post it except for the fact that you all are the only people who could understand.

Again, this was a deeply personal rant, not a statement about the situation as a whole, nor do I think this situation's impact on me takes an ounce of precedent over the person actually involved. The most important takeaway from this is what Shelby has shared, the importance of believing victims, to do what we can to protect ourselves from abuse that doesn’t seem obvious, and to look out for each other. Take care of yourselves, everyone.

#spilled penink #fuck i don't know what to tag this. #wilbur situation #abuse tw #ask to tag #I don't know about my current fics or what I plan to do going forward so don't read this looking for answers on that. #honestly i just had nowhere else to put this. this is something I would have ideally shared just with close friends #but they'd have no idea what I was talking about so here we are. desperate times. #sorry for the doom and gloom. i know there's been a lot of it as of late. please feel free to keep scrolling. #idc if people reblog. this is just. not the important thing right now yknow. #supporting shubble is all that really matters.

[booksandabeer]

Hey,

I love your blog and I love how much work you put in when someone ask you to recommend fics for them, you’re truly beyond AMAZING! Just getting that out of the way.

And now, can you please tell me your favourite underrated stucky fics. I know this might be too big of an ask because there are SO MANY out there, so just tell me a few if you don’t mind.

Thank you so much ❤️

Hello Stranger!

Thank you for the ask and your very kind words! ❤ It's so nice to hear that people like my rec posts because they really do take a surprisingly large amount of time to put together. Anyway, I'm not complaining & this is a lot of fun for me, so on to the recs!

I struggled a bit with how to define "underrated" and I think everybody has their own ideas of what exactly that means. Also, the Stucky ship has been around for more than a decade (even longer if you count the comics), so creative output and reader interest will fluctuate and ultimately decline over time. A Stucky fic posted after 2019--no matter how insanely good it is--will never do the numbers it would have done in the Golden Age of 2014-2018. So, for the purpose of this list, a fic written in 2016 with 15K hits or less does qualify as underrated, while a fic posted in 2021 with 10-15K would not.

Also, as always, this list is by no means an exhaustive one.

the wrote and the writ by declanlynchsrack | G, 10K

Author's summary: Bucky’s crying before he’s off the boat and he’s the least surprised out of anyone to realize it.

He’s always been a softie, a leaky faucet, and the war hasn’t changed that, so he doesn’t know why the sob that smacks him startles him bad enough that he grips the strap of his bag doubly hard, ready to swing it around like a battering ram, ready to find that cloying, invisible enemy. He’s not being ambushed, on his belly in the muck and camellias, cypress hanging low, moonlight casting an eerie smile upon Lake Como like it’s enjoying the hell out of muffled gunshots and the wet grunt of lifeblood spattering onto the undergrowth.

That’s done. He’s safe.

An AU in which Bucky--minus one arm--comes back from the war and Steve never got to go, and never became Captain America. A scrappy little story that is at once full of emotion and yet completely unsentimental. This story socked me on the jaw, tackled me to the ground, and then sat on me while twisting, twisting, twisting my arm behind my back. It also has one of my favorite descriptions of the SteveBucky dynamic I've ever read: "They’re all roughed up, the two of em, a pair of old marble statues weathered by time and harsh touches, but they know each other’s chinks and foibles and can side-step them with grace while still treating the other about as delicately as they’d handle a sack of potatoes." !!! If you prefer, you can also listen to it here: [Podfic] the wrote and the writ by quietnight

Hollywoodland by romanticalgirl | E, 69K

Author's summary: In 1930s Hollywood, the world is run on the studio system. Stars are told who to date, what to wear, what to say, and how to look pretty doing it. The only way you can really do what you want is if you don't get caught.

Steve's dating Peggy, which works out because she's married to Sam, even though it's not legal. But it's the perfect cover for the fact that Steve's gay. He's managing just fine skirting the system to find companionship, but then he meets James Barnes and life gets a lot more complicated.

If you know anything about me and my love for Golden Age Hollywood, then you won't be surprised that this pushes all of my buttons. This is loosely inspired by the real life relationship of Cary Grant and Randolph Scott (the exact nature of which we will probably never know, but let's just say it was most likely not strictly platonic). Is the world the author created here entirely realistic? No--and it's not intended to be. While it is indeed rooted in many of the horrible realities that queer people and POC have faced in the past (and are still facing today), it's a slightly kinder version of it that allows for a hopeful, if not a strictly happy ending in the traditional sense. A sumptious story with gorgeous art.

make progress together by frankoceansmoonriver | E, 24K

Author's summary: He feels like Steve’s mistress. He feels hollowed out. He feels like a jammed gun still trying to go off. When he’s not with Steve he convinces himself he’s ruining Steve’s life, and though he tries, he’s too selfish to stop. When he’s with Steve, he’d fight God himself to keep it, this tangible perfection that makes him drunk and anchors him in ways he did not know existed.

Or, the one where they both survived the war, Bucky loves Steve now, has loved Steve since he was fifteen, and the year is 1945.

This is a story that I have reread many, many times because it is the perfect wish fulfillment fic for me. It's the slightly unrealistic, or one could also say: optimistic version of what I imagine would have happened had Steve and Bucky both survived the war. That's not to say that this fic doesn't have its very angsty moments, but ultimately, this is a story about love and hope triumphing in the face of adversity, and sometimes you just want to see good things happen to good people. I know some readers may find the formatting and the non-linear structure challenging, but this is a beautiful story and I really urge you all to give it a try!

I'll Light Your Way Home series by BeaArthurPendragon | M-E, 69K, 5 parts

Author's summary: Two lost Vietnam vets find each other in a Hell's Kitchen gay bar one hot September night. This is how they find their way home.

A pattern emerges! Can you tell I'm really into (No Powers) AUs set in the early to mid 20th century? Well, here's another one, but we're actually moving into second half of the century, specifically to 1969, for this one! Bea is quite possibly my favorite Stucky writer and I have recommended her stories many times to anybody who will listen to me. It's debatable whether or not she actually counts as "underrated", I guess, but it is my personal opinion that her fics should have ten times the kudos/comments/hits they do and that she deserves to be up there with the "big names". This story in particular just completely won over my heart with its gorgeous (but not ostentatious) writing, its confident and mature characterizations, and great eye for historical detail. I *cannot* recommend her fics enough. /unabashed fangirl moment over.

The Northern Lights by ThisChairIsMyHomeNow | M, 21K

Author's summary: “I can’t feel my face,” Steve shivers.

“I can’t feel my left arm,” Bucky says, deadpan. Steve barks out a laugh. It’s all white puffs of vapor in the chilly air.

“This the spot?”

“Nah,” Bucky pants, breath ragged from the long ascent up a mountain. “Almost there.”

A post-CW canon-divergent story that the author jokingly describes in their author's note as "gay superhero reluctantly gets therapy in the jungles of Wakanda, then goes on a covert road trip." And yes, maybe I wouldn't put it quite so flippantly myself, but it's not... untrue. And yet there is so much more depth to it. If you like a Bucky who takes back his life, his identity, and his future on his own terms, a Steve who isn't reduced to being his recovery prop but instead gets to shine in all his glorious, intense, stubborn Steve-ness, and a Sam & a Natasha who aren't just window dressing for the SteveandBucky-Show, this is for you! Cap Quartet Road Trip where all four members get their moment to shine--what are you waiting for?

Misplaced Pencils | T, 13K & and our words would take us 'round the world | T, 13K by Somanywords

Author's summary:

Steve and drawing throughout the years. Also Bucky.

&

Bucky is two years old when he learns to talk.

I've spent a good 30 minutes debating with myself which one of these two I should include here, and then I just threw up my hands and said "why not both? Both is good!" So here they are, two beautifully written mid-length full-arc (childhood to sometime past TWS, where they diverge from canon) fics that I love both equally. These are standalone stories and are not set in the same universe, but they do read and feel like companion pieces to each other because both stories are told through the lense of Steve and Bucky's respective artistic sensibilities and how they use their art as a framework to make sense of the world. Misplaced Pencils gives you artist Steve who, from a very young age on, has always tried to understand the world by taking it apart into its visual components & falling back on a fixed set of questions that help him to categorize and compartmentalize the people he encounters and the emotions he feels for them (just like he will later do in other areas of his life). Only that there is of course one person who's always refused to fit neatly into just one of his categories. and our worlds... on the other hand, gives you storyteller Bucky who's constantly talking, singing, writing. Who, in the end, can't help himself but narrate even his own fall and who is later delightfully affronted by his own narrative arc in a "if I had been the one in charge, I would've written it better!" way. Both of these stories are very dear to my heart and they deserve a million more hits.

+ Bonus!

Fics that definitely could/should be on this list but that I've recced before:

You are here by dharmashark

A Hard Rain's a-Gonna Fall by DisraeliGears

Prisoner One by ancientreader

As Time Goes By by Trouble_With_The_Snap

new topography series by brideofquiet

What I'm Looking For series by TessaBennet

Welcome Home, Son series by BeaArthurPendragon

I'm slowly working my way through my rec asks, so please be patient with me! Next up: Road Trip fics!

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stevebucky #stevebucky fic rec #steve x bucky #steve x bucky fic rec #stucky rec list #stucky fic recs #stucky fanfic recs #stucky fic #rec list #asks #my recs

[callmemrskenway]

(This is my second request of the same ask because i forgot to request it to be headcanons in the first sorry)

So i read your posts on how the LMK characters would react if the reader was in an isekai scenario and i loved it. It did make me wonder how you think the same characters would react if the reader decided they wanted to stay? Maybe the reader feels guilty but this is the first place they’ve been truly happy in a long time and don’t have many people caring about them back at home. Kind of a “What if what should be my home doesn’t sound like home anymore?” Situation. Whether you write about this or not I want you to know I loved your writing :)

OKAY SO I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS REQUEST SO I AM EXCITED BC I DEFINETLY WANTED TO DO A FOLLOW UP WITH THIS REQUEST. However, I sadly kinda lost motivation to write for Spider Queen and Red Son so I might just post theirs separately a little longer down the line!

Qí Xiǎotiān/MK:

MK never broke his promise to you, even after falling in love with you. He was easily distracted but he always came through. No matter how many false leads he followed, no matter how hopeless it was starting to look, he never gave up because it was for you. Even if it meant giving you up, he knew it'd be too selfish of him to not keep his word no matter how badly he wanted to keep you here. Your happiness is was important to him.

So when he found out about a portal that was created by using old and ancient magic back before the days of even Monkey King, he knew he had to get ready to say goodbye. Even now as he stood behind you with teary eyes trying to hide them as you stood in front of the portal that only opened every insane amount of years, it was just hard to accept that this might be the last time he sees you. At least he'd always have the memories you two made.

"No." He hears you say.

MK furrowed his brows and looked at you, puzzled.

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" He frowned, a selfish hope in his heart but it was too good to be true, "(Y/n), we don't know how long that portal is gonna stay open for! This could be your last chance, if you don't go right now, you'll be here forever-"

He was cut off when you ran and hugged him, your arms around his waist and your face in the crook of his neck.

"You mean, I'll be with you, forever." You corrected, your voice sounded like you were also close to tears. MK was stunned for a moment but then melted in your embrace like he always did and hugged you back but his eyes were still on the portal: "...But...this is your only chance for you to go home."

Moving your arms away from his waist, you cupped his face in your hands and stared into his eyes with your (e/c) ones, tears began to firm but not out of sadness. Out of love, pure tender love that made his knees weak and his heart race just as fast when he first realized he was falling for you.

"MK, I'm already home when I'm with you." You confessed, bringing his lips to yours and kissing him.

Kissing you back with nothing short of happiness, he hugged you by the waist and lifted you into the air to spin you, his head resting on your chest and holding onto you as tight as possible. Never wanting to let you go.

Headcanons:

- Okay so after you guys get away from the place where the portal was, everyone at Pigsy's was so surprised but but immediately became happy once they saw you.

- Sandy hugged you and nearly started bawling his eyes out. Pigsy acted like he wasn't all that happy but he gives you the dad-est hug ever. Tang claimed that he knew you were gonna come back but, GOD, HE WAS HE SO RELIEVED HE WAS RIGHT AND HE HUGS YOU AND TELLS YOU NEVER TO DO THAT AGAIN. Mei just squeals and joins the group hug happy that her other bestie isn't gonna leave her!

- But no one is more happier than MK, who hasn't let go of you the entire night. His hand always holding yours and if he isn't holding it, he's got a hand around your waist.

- He can't believe that you chose to stay with him but he isn't complaining and is so happy you did and he works twice as hard to make sure you don't EVER regret that choice!

- Even when he wakes up and your cuddled up next to him, he's in happy disbelief and hugs you so hard you wake up startled but soften when you look at MK, who happily exclaims, "YAY! YOU'RE STILL HERE!"

- "Of course I am, MK. Like I said, you ARE my home." You tell him gently as you press a kiss to his forehead.

- IT FEELS SO RELIEVING KNOWING YOU'RE GONNA STAY WITH HIM AND KNOWS THAT YOUR TIME ISN'T GONNA BE AS SHORT AS HE THOUGHT.

- He truly is a lucky man. How many people get the powers of the Monkey King and find a love that's so strong that they'd give up going to their world to stay with him?

- The next day he takes you on a date, just to spend a whole day with you and bask in your presence. You giggle as he holds your hand and excitedly gives you a run down of the day.

- You remind him he doesn't have to worry anymore because you're staying with him and he tells you that's exactly WHY he has to spend time with you, because now he's fear from the sudden dread that he might have to let you go at some point.

Monkey King/ Sun Wukong

He can't remember the last time he felt such pain in his heart. Wukong has faced the wrath of many powerful enemies and even felt the betrayal of his own brother but this...this hurt more than the isolation he faced being trapped underneath a mountain for 500 years. He holds you in his arms for what he thinks is the last time. He doesn't want to let you go, he wants to beg and plead for you to stay, he wants to go with you but sadly, the spell he had found was incomplete and unstable. It was safe enough for one person to through, he knew that for sure, but it might just break the realities between both his world and yours if he tried to go with you.

It was almost worth it just to not let you go. Almost.

"I guess...this is goodbye." He finally says, his arms tighten around you, gently. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting you.

You sniffle and look at the portal that he conjured with the spell before slowly looking back at him. He gives you a reassuring smile that he'll be fine and that you can go, only for his heart to break a little once more as you stare at the portal.

"What...what if it isn't?" You finally speak up, "What if I don't go?"

Wukong blinks at your words before frowning again, "(Y/n), please, you-"

"Wukong, there's nothing for me in that world. It doesn't have all this magic, it doesn't have the same wonder, and it doesn't have...it doesn't have you." You explained, smiling at him with a growing blush on your face.

"(Y/n), before I completely freak out, I need to know, are you sure?" He asked, his hands now on your shoulders.

The moment you nod your head yes, he's bringing you into a hug and peppering your face with kisses. Tears are mixed in with every kiss and you can't tell if its yours or his but you don't mind as you laugh and giggle and wrap your arms around his neck as he continues to repeat the phrases: "THANK YOU!", "YOU WON'T REGRET THIS", AND "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" between each and every kiss.

"I love you too, silly monkey.~"

Headcanons:

- LITERALLY KISSES YOU FOR A FEW HOURS BECAUSE HE'S SO RELIEVED HE DOESN'T HAVE TO LET YOU GO.

- Absolutely is 10x more lazier and wants to spend his days relaxing and having you by his side, and hey, he doesn't have to find you a way home during his downtime because YOU'RE STAYING WITH HIM.

- He does however get a bit more clingy with you because KEEP IN MIND, HE WAS PREPARED TO LOSE YOU FOREVER. Now that he's not gonna lose you forever, you still have to assure him of that by petting him SO LOVE HIM UP.

- OKAY BUT HIS LIL MONKEY'S MISSING YOU AS MUCH AS HE DID AND WERE VERY SAD WHEN THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE🥺

- BUT THEN YOU COME BACK AND THEY'RE CHEERING AND THEY HUG YOU AND YOU GIGGLE AND LAUGH BECAUSE MONKEY CUDDLE PILE.

- He's glad the little guys missed you as much as he did but now he gets pouty because they all try to take up as much of your time as possible and that has him SHOOK because, um, yeah he likes his monkey buddies BUT HE ALSO LIKES HIS TIME WITH YOU SO SCOOT.

- Okay but he is also kinda worried about the fact that you are mortal and is worried you two will get torn apart so he will have to bring up that topic up later but for now, he'll just enjoy the fact you stayed.

- Takes you on little mini-adventures with him, he may be retired but he's also still the Monkey King and a huge reason why you love Wukong is that he never makes the day boring.

- More clingy in his sleep because he sometimes gets bad dreams you might be taken from him but then you turn in your spot to face him and kiss his forehead and his expression goes from "about to cry from a bad dream" to "the cutest most precious sleepy smile ever"

- He's so glad you didn't leave him, even if you're home life back in your home world wasn't that perfect, but he will make sure that you'll have a better life with him. Because that's how he feels when he's with you.

Liu Er Mihou/Macaque:

Macaque laid alone on the lair he once called a home. Of course, it wasn't really a home until you came along. He frowned as he laid on his side and curled into a ball, noticing that it was colder without you there to play with his fur or to kiss him goodnight. He regrets not saying "goodbye" to you, closing his eyes and trying not to imagine you having already walked through that portal back to your own world and seeing he wasn't there. Or maybe you were happy that he wasn't there, he couldn't blame you if you were. He had manipulated you, decieved you, and used you when you were in a vulnerable situation.

He lied about knowing a way back to your world and he lied about wanting to help you. Then he wanted to be selfish, to keep you from going home because you made him feel something other than hatred and vengance, you made him feel loved. Maybe that's why he let you go so easily when Wukong told you that he had found a way to get you back to your world. His ears flinched as he remembered the way Wukong exposed Macaque for the liar he was. The lair you trusted. God, he couldn't get your face out of his head as you stared at him with hurt eyes.

"Macaque."

Great, now he was already hearing your voice.

"MACAQUE!" The voice repeated, louder.

The dark furred simian sat up, and when he did, his golden eyes were shocked to see you standing in front of him. Your arms crossed and your expression stoic, but you were there nonetheless.

"...You didn't leave?"

"You didn't say goodbye."

Headcanons:

- Obviously you have to talk to him about just LYING to you and he admits to everything but promises no more lies, and then reached out for you. You saved him the time and hugged him.

- You explain that when you left with Wukong, it was more out of anger that perhaps everything you experienced with Macaque was a lie but even as you road on Wukong's cloud, he could sense that you didn't actually want to leave and also, even said that not everything about your relationship with Macaque was a lie.

- This surprised Macaque because: 1. Was he really down bad for you THAT visibly? and 2. Wukong was actually a bit selfless enough to help him out??

- Either way, you get a few things straight. No more lying, no more just leaving you without any explanation, and that its gonna take a while for him to earn your trust. All of which are understandable and that Macaque agrees to as long as you never leave with Wukong like that again because he was scared that his brother had TRULY taken everything away from him.

- Ngl he wants to cry so hard right now like, you chose to stay with him and not leave him alone but it would've really helped if you told HIM THAT YOU WERE GONNA STAY- but then he checks himself when he remembers he didn't tell YOU everything.

- Like Wukong, he definetly gets a bit more clingy with you except he doesn't realize it. Doing things like wrapping his tail around you im your sleep, holding your hand as you walk side by side with each other and such.

- Still can't get over the fact that you chose to stay with him, like, you picked going back to your world just for HIM!?

- It makes him feel that nice feeling of just being wanted and being loved, something he didn't expect to feel again, but it was nice nonetheless.

- Expect to catch him randomly looking at you and with a loving glint in his eyes a soft smile and when you ask him why he's looking at you, he just says: "I just love you, right now."

#lmk x reader #Lego Monkie Kid x Reader #Lego Monkie Kid #Macaque x reader #sun wukong x reader #lmk sun wukong x reader #Mk x Reader #Monkie Kid x Reader #Sorry for not finishing the other two #I FEEL SO BAD #But I just couldn't think of original drabbles so I hope you enjoy this!

[thewertsearch]

Asks Comp 13/4

I think he's behind that door. The platform bears his symbol, and it's his final chance to show up in-game.

The best theory I have is that Bilious Slick is the god of Sgrub, and he only appears to a party of Players who have truly proven themselves. Given that Sgrub's endgame involves the creation of a universe, his role probably relates to this in some way.

Maybe he's the one who grants the Players the 'seed' - or whatever else is mechanically required to alchemize a universe.

The thought has occurred to me, too! I've been skimming some old posts while writing asks, and a couple of things have stood out to me.

We still don't know who the pen pal is. I'm still convinced he has something to do with Grandpa Harley, and my best guess is that he's someone who contains Grandpa as an alchemical component.

The session monitor in Skaianet's lab has a new meaning now. Every single one of those sessions could spawn a universe. And it's been implied that every planet with intelligent life will eventually spawn Sburb sessions. If you do the maths, it's clear that each universe should spawn billions of sessions. Just how many 'children' does each universe produce?

Ooh, yes, let's think about the implications of all this on my 'sonas!

If we assume that the kidsona was on comic-canon Earth, then she's in the universe created by the Zodiac trolls. The universe that she and the trollsona could create could be a completely new one!

...that is, if they create a universe at all. There's nothing saying you have to use that grist on a universe, and they might have other plans...

I was actually thinking about Tinkers when I made that post!

I read Worm a couple of years ago. In retrospect, it would also have made pretty good liveblogging material, although probably not quite as good as Homestuck. There's some great stuff in Worm, but a lot of what I really like about it doesn't show up until close to the end.

I initially assumed that the Psychic Double Reacharound was a contingency plan that she'd prepared earlier, since she couldn't possibly have come up with something so elaborate in the heat of the moment, while bleeding out on the ground.

But then I remembered she came up with the Sollux/Mind Honey plan seemingly on the spot, and now I'm not so sure. God damn, Vriska.

This is genuinely super flattering. I hope the inconsistency isn't too much of an issue - and, yes, I note the irony of saying this immediately after a four-month hiatus!

If was clear from early on that things in Homestuck weren't always what they seemed. Hell, sometimes they're not even what we're shown.

We have to assume some of what we're being told is true, or else we wouldn't have a story - but we always have to remember who's telling the story.

[Lol I love this fic. lots of **GIANT** spoilers tho, just because of the nature of the fic. For example, big ones starting at 16, 55 and 57 - C]

Recommended, and does apparently contain spoilers - but this is one I'm particularly looking forward to.

It's kind of a funny question, isn't it?

From Davesprite's perspective, he did change the future - his future. John died, but he 'changed things' - and now John's alive, even though he was dead 'before'.

But if you zoom out a little, you can see that this change was predetermined by the Alpha Timeline, which always depended on these events. Davesprite changed the first-order future - but the meta-future was always set in stone.

The Medium's timeline is so weird, isn't it? Its retroactive existence is difficult to puzzle out.

I don't think you could see the history of your Land by travelling back before you entered. All physical evidence of that history is there, but it's generated in a single instance when you Enter, and can't be accessed. It's analogous to read-only-memory.

After all, John, Rose and Dave are in the past with respect to LOJADE, but they're never going to see its 'history' - and Jade's Entry isn't going to insert it into the Medium retroactively. It won't have been 'there all along' when John was flying around earlier on his jetpack - it'll only ever have been there from Jade's Entry onwards.

As for getting into Earth's past, I think Karkat had it right, when he described the kids' original universe as 'a set of points to choose from'. You can't get into Earth's past by time-travelling around the Medium, but that doesn't really matter, since you can open portals into any point in its history, as long as you have the gear.

They're fascinating questions, aren't they?

Pre-Exile, she was the Tradition Wrangler - a Prospitian lawyer who struggled to interpret the Medium's archaic laws!

DD is a man of action, and I'm sure he approves of any Player who acts decisively themselves.

Plus, I'm sure he can emphasize with Aradia's situation. After all, it sucks to be bossed around by someone whose motivations make no goddamn sense half the time.

Common Terezi W.

True - she didn't need to hold her there for long. The laser pointer thing is a better analogy, blinding her almost instantly. I don't think it's any less fucked-up - it's more like a different flavor of fucked-up.

That's a pretty impressive robotics feat for Equius, actually. I wonder what Aradiabot is actually made of?

Tracing the source of alchemy gear is one of my favorite Homestuck 'minigames'.

Hivebent's art is fantastic! I really see why the comic blew up around this time. It's really coming into its own, stylistically. Of particular note is the art of Make Her Pay, and the art accompanying Aradia's final monologue. I can't wait to see more!

Gamzee is just too high to be rendered in a less symbolic manner.

Sollux is broken, and probably another mutant. The Sgrub trolls don't seem surprised by his level of power - but considering their circle includes other absurd espers like Aradia and Vriska, they probably aren't the best people to ask about what's normal.

Damn, I wish we could have seen more of Alternia. I know some of the spin-offs dig into this, but I hope we get more in canon, too.

Terezi's dream self is blind, because that's the version of herself she identifies most with. There's very little doubt in my mind that your dream self would reflect your self-perception in other ways, too. Skaia is clearly an ally - thank you, king.

You could imagine a Player whose dream self changes after they realize - or conversely, a Player whose dream self cracked their eggy loking thign. I'd be surprised if there weren't many fanfictions where this is a plot point - and depending on how things shake out in the comic itself, I'm not ruling it out.

In asking about magic, Kanaya really does start to sound like the young child that she is. It's easy to forget, but heartbreaking when you remember.

A few people have talked about this, so I added all of my 'immediate reaction' posts to the liveblog tag! I think it got them all - other than LOLCAT, which I missed and will add now - but if there are others, let me know!

I guess Matespritship isn't explicitly described in terms of romantic love. It's described as a close analogue of human romance, which is 'rooted in strongly positive emotions'. I've been assuming, based on that, that Red Romance is effectively interchangeable with the human concept of romantic love - but I suppose that's not necessarily the case.

I do think you're hitting on a very good point, here, too, which is that the quadrant system itself is described as something that trolls need. I think the 'need' for these categories is enforced, artificially, for the benefit of the Empire. It wouldn't be the first institution to pull something like this.

Either way, it'll be interesting to see how the troll/human ships end up shaking out. It's going to be a challenge to merge their respective relationship frameworks. The best solution, of course, is for them to experience their own relationships without any cultural baggage, but I don't think I'm just speaking for myself when I say that that's easier said than done!

#asks #full liveblog #act 5

[arkiwii]

for the ask game: 8 (a quote that means a lot to you), 1 (the moment you started shipping your otp), and 17 (a worldbuilding aspect you have the greatest admiration for)

Fandom (8)

I can't just not quote my favorite quote from NoriZC's scrappaper collection on Saria and Silence's arts; "Because grass and rocks always complement each other over time." It's just beautiful, simple, it's peak, I love it. But it's not in the game or canon so let's throw it away

I really like Frostnova's song, Lullaby - and my favorite quote in this song is "In your dream, in your dream, are you seeing formidable adventures? How will you grow up, little one? Who will protect you?" (Unofficial translation but I like the wording better) It just. Speaks to me to a level I can't imagine. The fear of growing up, to be alone, to have to face the world and life by yourself

And if we don't count songs, a quote I LOVE from Reed's module's story: "Ever since, the fire never truly went out. It burned within (their) eyes, inside (their) heart, in the night of every festivity. [...] Slowly, (they) became used to the heat, to the scorching that stabbed through (their) body with each breath. (They) believed this undying flame would be with (them) for life, even chasing (them) in death. Until (they) received this present. (They) realizes, and it startles (them). So there were people who'd still try to put water on these raging flames." (I they/them Reed, apologizes) It's just beautiful I think, the metaphor of the fire as their pain, and people who cares about them, trying to put it out. It's beautiful

Fandom (1)

OK THIS IS FUN BECAUSE. The answer is before I ever started the game. A friend of mine showed me some characters, specifically Liberi, because they know I love birds SO MUCH. And they showed me Silence, I immediately fell in love with her design. So they told me a bit more about her, mostly how she had a child and was incredibly divorced from Saria. The thing is. I thought it was canon. Like that they REALLY were divorced, canonically. I simply got a lot of affection for these characters and aimed to get them in game, all together.

But if we speak about when I really really started to get into it, my very first ship fanart of Sariasil was done in March 19th this year, so like a month or two after I started the game? And oh god I never stopped drawing them since then

If anyone wonders, this is the first art I drew of them, I never posted it as it was done before creating this blog. Notice how my artstyle changed AHAH

Fandom (17)

Everything. No seriously, how am I supposed to pick only one.

There's many aspects I love but it's just, how all of them just answer to each other, how this world lives, outside of the main story, how everything is linked together and how the world move. I admire this as someone who tries to build a world for a story.

But if I have to pick one, I'd say the political stuff behind each faction. I suck at politics, so I admire this a lot. Arknights has been a huge inspiration for my own project, and I started to think more about politics in my own universe. Just like what I said above, each has consequences, each has influence, and that's how this world lives.

And most of all, each artist behind have their own part, they work together and create this world together, and that's beautiful to me

#arknights #stalkiwiart #olivia silence #saria #askiwi #ask game

[leportraitducadavre]

I've never seen someone hate or dislike Kakashi before, but looking at your Kakashi posts (which I later realized were "anti Kakashi" posts), I feel like these make some people talk shit about Kakashi for no reason and it also gives me the feeling that even though you read the manga you're just blinded as a defender of Sasuke and that you don't understand Kakashi's character at all, almost always the posts are one-sided, making Sasuke look poor or the only one misunderstood and you make Kakashi look like someone bad or that he liked to manipulate people, you even make him look pro Konoha when many times the anime/manga shows Kakashi disobeying the orders of the Hokage...

I'm not saying this to talk shit about your post, but for you to read more objectively, since I love Sasuke and I don't think Kakashi is bad at all (either in writing or as a character)

Hello,

You know, I'm a little weirded out by this ask, because your blog has no posts, no likes, and follows no one; so you are either using a side-blog to send this as you don't want me to know who you are... or you created this blog with the sole purpose of communicating with me. Both options are equally weird to me.

I've never seen someone hate or dislike Kakashi before, but looking at your Kakashi posts (which I later realized were "anti Kakashi" posts), I feel like these make some people talk shit about Kakashi for no reason

Are you honestly making me the sole responsible for some people not liking Kakashi? Do you really think I hold that much power over people's views? I provide images of manga panels in order to support my arguments, so you can easily access the panels and pages that led me to my reasoning.

and it also gives me the feeling that even though you read the manga you're just blinded as a defender of Sasuke and that you don't understand Kakashi's character at all

If you like Kakashi's character and you think my judgment of him is unfair, you can easily write your own post analyzing him, I'm not obligated to fit your tastes as I do believe I'm fair in judgment, as I not only write what he did wrong but also the reasoning behind his behavior. You can still think that everything he does is redeemable, but that doesn't reflect my personal beliefs.

almost always the posts are one-sided, making Sasuke look poor or the only one misunderstood and you make Kakashi look like someone bad or that he liked to manipulate people

What are you talking about? Have you honestly read all my posts about Kakashi? Can you back up anything you say with some evidence? I never stated Kakashi likes to manipulate people, I specifically said he does it as it's a tool used by the shinobi system that he was taught and he later on naturalized as a genuine way of communication. The fact that he was a victim during his formative years doesn't mean he isn't perpetuating the same system that oppressed him and others. He's just as guilty as those who wronged him in the past.

you even make him look pro-Konoha when many times the anime/manga shows Kakashi disobeying the orders of the Hokage...

The anime isn't canon, If it happened in the anime but not in the manga, then it makes absolutely no difference to me. Anything you say to me that isn't backed up by a manga panel is nothing but mere talk, and I won't take any of it seriously. Show me some evidence for your claims. Also, even if Kakashi did "go against" the Hokage's decision, did he truly go against Konoha's interests or did he argue against his leader somewhat? He was always faithful to the Hokage and Konoha.

I'm not saying this to talk shit about your post, but for you to read more objectively, since I love Sasuke and I don't think Kakashi is bad at all (either in writing or as a character)

I'll reiterate, if you don't agree with my analysis of him you can easily write one of your own, I don't have to cater to your tastes.

#anti kakashi fandom #anti kakashi stans

[waitmyturtles]

Hi,

I am writing in context of my comment to your recent KP rewatch post. I have only just started to look at your older posts, and I must thank you very much for actually being the first place where I find proper in depth-criticism of Only Friends. As I mentioned, the show is very dear to me, and when it aired I only saw a lot of ranting and 'Boston is being punished for being poly' commentary, which being poly myself, I just couldn't see at all, as I never perceived Boston as poly rep. Also thank you for bringing Jojo's comments on Boston onto your blog, because I was not aware of those, and they recontextualize the anger of many people a lot for me. But maybe a main reason why I didn't even think about something like that is because I perceived the show absolutely not as a morality piece but as a depiction of a questionable queer friends group and their antics. I always saw the title as ironic, as the cast never gave found family vibes style friends group to me, but instead always showed how deeply problematic they all are.

There is much more I want to say here, and maybe I should make a proper meta post of my own once I have read more of your (partially also reblogged) posts on the matter.

For now I just want to add that I don't see any of the main cast as without major flaws, and I am hoping for a second season that is as messy as the first (messy not as in bad, but continuing to play to the characters' flaws and work with that), as the current stable situation doesn't seem to me like something that will remain. And all that I say as someone who usually doesn't like messy.

To end my rambling, thank you very much again for making your blog such a goldmine of excellent discussion, and insightful meta. I love it.

Thanks so much for the compliments, I appreciate it, @the-iron-queen!

Very interesting to hear that folks were interpreting Boston as poly. Yeah, no. I did not ever go there in my interpretations of him. The polyamory that I’ve seen in Thai shows is limited to the second season of Gay OK Bangkok (Aof’s and Nong Big’s triad) and 3 Will Be Free.

I saw Boston instead as simply having casual sex, and being judged for it. I’d posit that he was judged both by the characters within the show, and — and I say this with a fair amount of seething bias — by the creative team of the show itself. To the point you made about Jojo’s own quotes of calling Boston a slut, I think the character of Boston was likely written with judgement of casual sex in mind. (Which, wtf.)

My review of Theory of Love covers my strong distaste for judgements against casual sex, in part because I subjectively and personally think that judgements against casual sex offer judgy individuals false states of moral superiority that ultimately ring as hypocritical and disingenuous to me — especially if and when those judgy individuals jump at the opportunity to have casual sex themselves. In regards to Only Friends, what I felt was truly disingenuous about the whole show was its original marketing on being a progressive show about casual sex, depicted by actors who seemed to be ready to leave the confines of their branded ships. We got QUITE the opposite instead — the ships shipped together in a seeming condemnation of casual sex outside of monogamous relationships. The way Boston was condemned and left behind by his friends and Nick just seemed kinda unnecessarily brutal.

But this is me taking into account not just what the show internally is saying, but how I also think the show was conceived of and created externally. Den Panuwat, OF’s screenwriter, also had monogamous relationships as end goals in his more recent show of Playboyy, and I’m watching his first screenwriting work now in War of Y, and I’m not terribly impressed by his art. I do agree the “friends” of Only Friends end up in a non-committal and arguably “messy” place, but other than being judgmental dicks, I don’t know what their motivation was to be disloyal assholes in the first place — the show never told me that. It was all just kinda meh in the end.

@the-iron-queen: I’d recommend watching both seasons of Gay OK Bangkok, 3 Will Be Free, and Theory of Love for much more sophisticated conversations about sex from Thailand. I don’t know why more recent Thai BLs are just putzing out on this topic lately, but there’s a short history of really good shows that delve into this, and if I’m not mistaken, I think a few Japanese BLs are also treading well in this territory right now that I need to catch up on. I hope my back catalogue of Old GMMTV Challenge posts keeps you entertained, good luck!

#thanks for the ask! #only friends #only friends 😐😬😐😬 #theory of love my beloved

[use-your-telescope]

Let's spread some positivity! Tag some of your fellow content creators here and let them know why they are absolutely amazing!❤️

OOOOOOOPS I think I have had this sitting in my asks for a while and completely space cadet-ed on it...

@infinitystoner my first tumblr friend!! You are so freaking talented at every genre and trope you tackle in fics - I am so grateful you thought to message me via the hellsite those many months ago!! Your smut? Immaculate. Your angst? Hurts so good. Your character chemistry? Simply divine! The way you create atmosphere and use language to create such nuance is truly a masterclass.

@loki-cees-all CEEEEEEE you are my beloved angsty queen. The way you are able to get inside Loki's mind and really dive into the little details that bring the hurt is so fucking delightful. I know I owe you at least a few raving reblogs of your most recent fic, so stay tuned!

@the-lady-amphitrite my fellow lore and world building lover!! Any time I get to see behind the curtain in your work is such a blast, and you also crack me up on the regs. Plus video game nerding is alway a delight!

@sarahscribbles Smut goddess! Whether looking for soft or kink, Saz has got you covered. Saz also does such a beautiful job of highlighting relationships in her smut and really giving them depth. She also has some absolutely delightful fluff to investigate, if you're looking for pure warm and fuzzies.

@cleo-fox I am still working my way through your catalog (god damn I am so behind), but YO everything I've read is a straight BANGER (literally and metaphorically). You balance environment, chemistry, and pacing so perfectly in every story I've read, and you've turned some of the more mundane moments into straight up steam sessions.

@maple-seed THROWN. HOLY THROWN. If you, random hellsite user, are reading this and have not read Thrown, *DROP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND GO READ THROWN!!* It is the *perfect* comfort fic - friends to lovers, slow burn, so soft I want to scream. I'm not on the tag list because I get the A03 emails, and let me just say the *moment* I see that notification in my inbox I drop what I'm doing and go read the update (even if I'm in the middle of a meeting, haha!). I'm behind like, four chapters on reblogs because I have so many thoughts (most of which are OH MY GOD MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM THE SOFT!!). Also, Maple's portrayals of Thor and Valkyrie are delightful!!

@tripleyeeett You are SO FREAKING AMAZING AT WRITING ASTARION and so funny and down to earth and I love your no-bullshit attitude and nerding about BG3 and all sorts of stuff.

Also, I know that they haven't been posting stories for a while, but I do also want to shout out @asteralpine (kaeorin on AO3) - their Loki's Lullabies series was my first introduction to Loki fics (back in 2021); part of why I made a new tumblr account was to be able to share their stories, but more importantly I don't think I would have even started WEMTBB if I hadn't discovered the Lullabies! I have slowly been working on a mega post of all my favorite stories from the series and why I love them so much, but I'm starting to think it's going to be a multi-part post because with over 250 entries in the series, there are too many to fit in one post. These days, the lullabies can only be found on AO3 and you need to be logged in to read them, but I highly, highly recommend them. Oh, and also, there are other non-lullaby stories, and they also are all A+.

#e answers asks #this was so late whoops #I'm sure I'm missing other amazing creators and I'm sorry!!

[irregularcollapse]

just downloaded the epub of eiat and was reminded of how awesome and amazing you are as like. an Author, capital A. the whole construction is so masterful and i’m so grateful to have witnessed the whole thing build up to what it is. not just the masterful writing and obviously meticulous typeset, but the community of people who love this work. the final chapter can put on my birthday so i’m going to post my adoring comment sobbing about this fics end as soon as i have time to read. thank you forever and always for something that saw me every wednesday like a close and adoring friend through an incredibly tough period of my life!

omg my King

This is the most insanely kind comment, I barely even know what to address first. I guess the most important thing is thank you so much, and I am incredibly flattered and humbled that my writing was such a constant thing for you at a hard time! After all, that's why so many writers write---to share the feeling that writing gives to us.

I guess that hits on why I write fic and share it at all, actually. It's something you've mentioned here: that sense of community. I write to connect with people, to share stories, hopefully to entertain and bring people enjoyment. Getting responses from people like you is such a huge part of feeling part of something, of knowing that what I create means something.

The process of making EIAT was really helpful for me in a lot of ways. It truly cemented something that I've been thinking for a while, which is that traditional publishing just isn't the route I want to go down. I'm not interested in reaching a huge audience; I much prefer this sense of togetherness created when like-hearted people respond to and gather around a creative work.

I put in the effort that I do (and do insanely over-the-top things like learning typesetting, and teaching myself how to sort-of format a reflowable ePub) because I want what I make to be good for the people who find it. I want you all to know that it's for all of you, and myself, and anyone else who finds their way to what I make.

Writing is such a strange creative pursuit. It makes me think of something Miranda July said about film-making:

I thought moviemaking would only really become an artform if anyone could access it, the way anyone can paint or sing or write. Mediums don’t suffer from being available, they evolve. If movies always need a company behind them, they will never really be an art.

What I disagree with her about is, while it's true that writing is a highly accessible medium (it is low-cost, can be done by analogue or digital means, can even be dictated orally exactly as intended), that doesn't mean it's an accessible artform. The divide between amateur and professional is largely what seems to dictate whether someone is seen as a writer (hobbyist) or author (artist).

I dislike a lot of things about the publishing industry. I dislike that authors are increasingly being turned into brands. I dislike that books are being advertised on the basis of their building blocks instead of their execution. I dislike that a social media following is becoming a significant contributing factor to whether a writer's manuscript will get read. I dislike censorship being passed off as editing; I dislike the concept of book "trends;" I dislike that "representation" is becoming a marketing buzzword instead of a crucial storytelling consideration.

However, I love books. I love everything about them, from the conceptual to the physical, from the narrative to the object. What I realised, while working on EIAT, is that I don't need a publisher to be able to make them. In a super-pretentious summation of what I mean, I guess my intention is to reclaim books as an artform, and to demonstrate to anyone who finds my work that you can too.

That's why I've decided to do it all myself (with some necessary proofreading/editing help, hello M I love you sooooooo much), from the planning to the writing to the formatting to the binding. EIAT has been like a trial run of it all, and I can't tell you how creatively fulfilling it has been. I can't wait to actually start and finish work on my own bound copy---to hold this thing in my hands and know that I made it, completely, from the beginning to the end. It will be entirely my vision as I want it to be.

This has turned into a bit of a rambling reply but I sort of just wanted to explain that like. I am so incredibly stoked that you (and other readers like you!!) have enjoyed what I've done so much. I really only want to create lovely things for other people to enjoy, so knowing that I've done that is all I need <3 Thank you again, for this message. You've absolutely made my day!

#asks #anonymous #my writing #even in another time fic #i can't WAIT to start sharing the next one with you all omg #and my original novel(s)!! #i'm hoping to have the current fic WIP done by november (lol) #so then i can try out nanowrimo for my original work #WE SHALL SEE HMMM

[alltheselights]

I absolutely agree with your tags about Harry and Zayn. I like that Zayn finally talks about it publicly and admits he wanted to be the first one with a solo career. I love Harry and I think he's a sweet person but I think it speaks volumes that he was pissed when Zayn was the first to start his solo career (assuming that that's what happened), and it doesn't paint a very nice picture of Harry. As I said, I love him, but I think he's a bit fame hungry and can get lost in it and I sometimes feel like he's not as nice a person as he wants people to believe

Yeah, I think there is a level of ruthless ambition that Harry has when it comes to his career which doesn't really vibe with his overall personality and public persona where he is very kind and polite. You can't work with people like the Azoffs and achieve the level of fame that he has in recent years without that ruthless ambition.

I think he was intentionally vague about the hiatus while they were still in the band while the other boys were making promises of a return for a reason. I think he intentionally avoids saying anything negative about the band while also being very vague when he does talk about the hiatus (which he has only really talked about a couple of times anyway) or a reunion. While he distanced himself from the band (he has mentioned the names of the other boys twice in seven years, and one of those times was for an SNL joke), he also clearly has never wanted to really alienate the fans, which remains a key portion of his fanbase even as he gains more and more non-1D fans. One Direction was a cultural phenomenon that I believe none of the boys can create individually regardless of their commercial success. I think they all know that and act accordingly, including Harry.

Though I can appreciate how hard Harry has worked to reach the level he has, it definitely is the thing about him that leaves the worst taste in my mouth. I'm pretty indifferent to the stunts and to a lot of the other things that piss off this corner of the fandom, but how he's treated One Direction and the other boys has always upset me and I've talked about that many times. Even today, I watch how he promotes Mitch's album and can't help but compare that to how he doesn't even follow the boys on Instagram and never acknowledges their solo projects, even when they support his.

Harry had the right to want to pursue a solo career and has the right to want to distance himself from the band. I'm glad he's doing what he wants to do now and I'm glad that most of the boys have found new purpose and bloomed post-1D. Still, that doesn't mean that it's been easy to come to the realization over the past several years that while some of us truly believed he had looped in the Azoffs to help the band, they were always there for his solo career and that he likely had his sights set on that from 2013 on. I honestly look back at One Direction with a lot of sadness these days and can't even really listen to their music or watch the documentaries because the realizations about what was going on behind the scenes, even from our limited perspective where there is much we don't know, has just really reshaped One Direction and the members in my mind.

#it makes me sad lol #asks

[opinated-user]

(note: it's ok if we disagree, i admit i might be jumping to conclusions due to lack of info that is currently unknown)

I respect your skeptical approach to any new info about LO. However I can't not point out that most structured info about her is based on what she does or says, or ppl's stories that are/was around her. Plus, fun fact about internet - no one is truly anonymous. Like everyone's, LO's personality slowly leakes in public through her lies, jokes, preferences and other forms of media she interacts with. It's quantity and quality, gathered together, creates a stable believable trend in which Courtney's story fits right in. It feels like one of those "final" pieces that connect everything else and that's why I don't think it could be specifically made up or imagined by someone genious.

What I'm trying to say - in my opinion, it fits all too well with what was already known. It isn't just disturbing, it screams!

To this point, I personally believe that LO doesn't seek popularity and plays it low on purpose. She had whole childhood to learn how to be a sneaky predator under everyone's noses. That's a skill.

i don't disagree with any of that, anon. the biggest reason why i try to remark that all of that are allegations and we have no strong evidence that it happened is an attempt to avoid people asking "then why she isn't in prison", "why nobody has called the police" or similars.

taking out of the way for a second that the police are many times ineffective, that many crimes go unpunished for many reasons, even with evidence behind it, and lack of a police record doesn't mean that someone hasn't done something wrong in their life, the truth of the matter is that we don't have anything from Courtney but allegations. this is not Courtney's fault either because she was a literal child when all of that happened, but it is what it is. do i believe those are credible enough considering the kind of person LO is and her actions? yes, just like i also believe that the sankaku accounts are or were hers. but that's not ever going to work as evidence in a court of law or for a police officer to do anything. i can't offer to anyone any other stronger evidence that maybe she did those things beyond fanfictions or posts or maybe some stream clip, and i can't blame anyone either if none of that is enough for them to change their minds about whether LO actually did those things or not. i bet anything that at least a portion of the people who read this blog won't ever believe Courtney's word without a direct confession of LO, which we also know won't ever happen, and i can't blame them either because nobody wants to believe that someone would be so awful of a person and kept living comfortably without any major issues for so long. we don't want to believe that such a person could exist right under our noses and we just didn't see it before. just like many just refuse to believe that LO would go so low as to lie about having cancer. just like many don't believe that LO did enjoyed images made with actual CSA of real children knowingly. some of it will always seem "a step too far" or "not even LO would go that far" to some people, even if LO hasn't actually done anything to give anyone that impression, and there's nothing i can do about it. so i can only talk about that as allegations and claims, because i have nothing else.

#lily orchard

[maybemoonout]

Miles and Alex definitely are like soulmates, i don't know if they believe that, but according to all the times they talked about the unique connection they've had since the first day they met, both of them know that this is the kinda of connection you find once in a lifetime or even never. If they ever really had anything other than friendship at some point, i feel that many things were unresolved along the way and sometimes seems Alex was the one who was afraid to face some feelings. Miles always seemed ready to risk anything for him and that maybe hurt him because he knew that Alex felt the same way. Idk but they definitely love each other and that's what matters

fr anon frfr

I know it seems ironic especially with this blog I have to say this but genuinely I love them both and I don't want to intrude into their personal lives, and I wholeheartedly mean it when I say that everything I create or say should be treated as fictional and I don't expect anything to come together in actual reality.

However, I think theres sort of a beauty in their relationship that I can never just look away from. They are obviously very much willing, especially Miles as you have mentioned, to face the things they've allowed for us to know in interviews, etc. Especially again to Miles as his reaction to fans sending him fanart of him and Alex have always been so positive. Miles, I believe genuinely sees what the people sees aswell, and I like to believe Alex sees all of it too.

I like to think all the snippets from interviews and even in their music we can see through a lifted veil ever so slightly. I think thats beautiful. We will never see the full picture, what's truly behind the curtains, and I think thats good. Whether their relationship is truly romantic or not we will never know but we know for a fact that their relationship is, based from what I read before "too close for any severance to be ever-lasting".

The fact that Miles allows/enjoys all the fan made stuff about them though do definitely show us just how much he enjoys it as we do. So I don't think we'll be running out of content anytime soon.

I kinda went on a rampage there, sorry anon! Heh, but to go back to you, yes their connection is truly very loving no matter how you see it. I think thats how we get all this wonderful music in the first place. TLSP is built with a foundation of love and connection so it really annoys me to my core when people say that they "don't love eachother" or people think its rude to say they love eachother and that were intruding into their lives. Love can be between friends and bonds very close, and that is something they blatantly have for each other and have even expressed themselves.

It gives me comfort knowing that they believe their bond is truly ever lasting since that means we can always expect mlre content from them/be content with what they have already given us.

You are right, the fact that they love eachother is truly all that matters because without it we wouldn't have any of their beautiful art and music. They are definitely soulmates in whatever perspective you look at it.

I again went on a rampage! So sorry, this is probably my longest text post to date. Sorry if I didn't really give you the reply you were expecting heh. Thank you though for this since I finally got the chance to express everything I've been thinking ♥

#ask #alex turner #miles kane #milex #the last shadow puppets #arctic monkeys #answered #tlsp #my post

[nightswithkookmin]

"hello?i adore your blog and especially your way of writing.I'm a fanboy jimin biased,I'm here because I seriously need your advice.we have interacted before in a positive way I see thru your posts that you are an open minded person,that's why I chose your blog among others that are here despite not allowing anonymous posts so I created a new acc for this.I wouldn't post this on twitter basically bcs the people there are dogs that bark so much and are very judgemental.I needed someone who doesn't know me hiding behind a banner acc is easier in things like this.and a good advice from mature people so am here.and sorry in advance if I'll gross you after reading this🤫.. there's something unique about your outlook on things and my eyes love viewing the content you share. beautiful work!..so let's start?"

You about to drop a bomb on me ain't you?

"I'm jimin biased fanboy I guess I mentioned that,so i'm one of those annoying dudes who have everything hes ever dreamed of.ive built a successful career that i enjoy,i have the perfect NYC apartment that i was planning on asking my gf to move in with me next year ,I have a girlfriend and I truly love her,she's the best thing that has happened to me.but I have always had sexual fantasies about jimin which I just curse myself when those sinful images pops in my thoughts and ignore them because it's normal to have such fantasies with your crush right?..but this is too much fantasies for a stranger and a celebrity at that.first I find jimin so damn SEXY AND HOT even thou he can be soft,fluffy,small and his angelic features comes out more often.I love both his charms he's a man of crazy duality and am a sucker for both..hes the prettiest man i have ever seen in my life.his beauty features leaves me speechless,jimin invented beauty so breathtaking.I find myself thinking about him taking me from behind in my solo love-sessions.jimin pops alot in my thoughts when i masturbate,and the sinful thoughts are all images of him doing the naughty stuffs to me.like I'm being so submissive to him.and I enjoy all those sexual fantasies ALOT! I noticed I enjoy having those solo love-sessions with him occupying my thoughts.now what made me so worried is those dirty images cropped up when I was on top of my gf damn it!! we always have great sex so I don't know why I started thinking about jimin again.seriously this is so embarrassing because I took like forever to reach orgasm,and my gf thought something was wrong I tried so hard to concentrate but the moment I started thinking about my jm fantasies i ejaculated so hard it was intense I fell like a log of wood. this has now happened twice and I find it so disturbing,those thoughts came when I'm alone and solo loving myself but not when am with my partner.thats why am confused.also to mention I'm not gay/bi I've always considered myself straight on the whole, I have had many heterosexual relationships and one night stands with only girls all of which i enjoyed. I have never been attracted to guys.dont get me wrong I'm not a homophobe I have friends and relatives in lgbtq. in my country that's not a big deal because same sex relationships are legal here.I have tried to see if I get attracted sexually to my male friends but nothing. I'm scared I wouldn't want my gf to find out about this because what's funny is ,she's also a jimin biased but solo stan😓😓and because she will so hate me I will die. also something weird is I enjoy keeping up with my fantasies I love when my thoughts are filled with him doing all crazy stuffs on me.I would make the fantasies a reality if given a chance but well that is impossible.so help me I want to know why am like this??I don't understand why am having all this fantasies with jimin?is he my gay awakening?but why am I not feeling attraction to other male friends?.and pls sorry if this will seem like I'm sexualizing him I love jimin so much to do that.is just something I don't disturbing me.I know I might sound like a pervertted asshole when I say I love and enjoy every bit of those fantasies when am alone not when am on top of my partner."

HOLY SHIT I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING BRO!!!!!!!

Forget grossing me out, I'm traumatized for life😭😭

You want JM to put what where sir😭😭😭😭😭

I'm not even gonna front- ME TOO MA HOMMIE

This is Jimin and all of us

But I think your girlfriend reads my blogs and sent a similar ask about this already💀💀💀💀💀💀

If she's a JM Solo Stan she won't hate you.

No. No. No.

SHE WILL KILL YOU. DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Those bitches be crazy.

Jokes aside, I think this conversation should be had with a professional if you can afford one- preferably, one that is queer and well versed in issues related to these. Spoiler alert, they will tell you this is normal.

You might be having a bi or queer awakening or you might not. You'd be surprised how normal some of these things are among "straight" folks. But still talk to a professional.

You don't need random voices on the internet screwing with your head and filling you with all sort of nonsense that's gonna further confuse you, your sexuality or your identity or even make you hate yourself down the road.

And I won't lie, I have a gay agenda and wish everyone was gay and I'm a little bit high key hetero-intolerant. And so I would trend carefully with you okay?

Like I'm tempted to say you are gay and call it a day😃

Straight is boring anyway😴

Anyway, take anything I say here with a grain of salt.

Honestly, you seem to be conflating questions about sexual identity with questions about sexual fantasies and eroticism. Some straight men love butt play too🤷🏾‍♂️

I mean do you feel shaky in your sexual identity as a straight man? Is your attraction to JM making you question your sexuality at all? You don't seem frightened at the thought of another man topping you- are you open to that? Would you be okay taking dick or dildo for instance?🤔

If that part don't scare you then welp get your gal the strap and bend over for her baby😁

Feels good trust me😌

I think you just might be kinky and not necessarily gay or bi.

If you are gay or bi that's valid too🤭

I think you might be having an awakening of a sort though. But not in the way you think you might be in my opinion. Jimin is sexy, beautiful, cute, hot, flaming hot all wrapped into one. As you've rightfully pointed out. If he has this effect on you, it's a sign you are a sexually healthy individual.

He do be confusing his own mates sometimes. Has them clutching their penis and shit when he moves.

And by the way, this is him reacting to another man

Did that shit on live TV too. He literally goes blank in the head when he sees Jungkook's naked back on stage.

Jungkook saw Namjoon's thighs and did a 360 on his career path.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

If most straight guys were more honest and open with their sexual desires, and weren't so afraid of being tagged gay, you wouldn't think this is strange at all. But all they do is lie. Truth is most men find other men attractive too and it's perfectly normal. They may not want to sleep with them, but they do get attractions for them or even tingles down there for other men every now and then.

Shit girls do too💀

Is it possible you might not find other men attractive simply because they are not attractive to you? Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but an attractive person is an attractive person. And if they are not they are not.

That aside, you attribute certain qualities to JM that you may simply not be attributing or associating with the men in your life which is why you don't find them equally as attractive. You mentioned JMs duality. Which of your male friends have that duality you find desirable in JM? None.

Also, you just seem to me to be having domination/ submissiveness kink fantasies which is why you are able to express those even when on top of your GF who is obviously not a man.

Or perhaps you do attribute those dominant qualities to your gf too giving her that duality you find attractive.

You might simply want to be manhandled or dominated in bed by her or by anyone you find attractive including JM so look into that.

You might not feel similar attraction to your male friends because they are your friends and you do not see them as viable suitors to explore your submissive fantasies with. Or you simply might not be attracted to them at all. I mean I don't think just because you are straight means you should be attracted to all females. That would be ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with being a little bit kinky every now and then. Just express those needs to your GF and ask if she can top you, or allow you to be submissive with her in bed. Instead of you initiations sex, tell her you want her to initiate. Rather than being on top of her, have her sit on top of you.

Or go full on spartan on her and have her try playing with your butt, bunny😏

Use your attraction to JM as a springboard to explore your sexual desires in real life.

You might want to look into Femdom. Or Fem domination and see if it's something you are into for instance if indeed you are having a submissive kink awakening.

Or explore the attributes of him you find arousing? Is it just his looks and beauty or it's his nurturing side and the way he praises others and speaks softly with them? If so you might have a praise kink as well.

If you could share specific details about those fantasies it would give me something to work with and we could unpack what is going on with you and him together.

But from the little you've shared I'm getting submissive kink vibes from you.

If you are gay it's fine too really 💜💜💜💜💜💜

If I were a man I would want to be thrown across the room and stuffed in a box naked by other men too😌

You don't have to be ashamed or fear your own desires. Or fear your partner will hate you for it. If she does she is not the right one for you.

Opening up about your sexual desires with your partner in a healthy way can be wholesome and bring you two closer.

Do a little bit of introspection yourself and explore these fantasies and understand them. You have to know whether they are merely fantasies or they becoming a fetish.

A fetish is something you need in order to be aroused. Without it you might not feel arousal or even orgasm. A fantasy is an expression of our desires. They teach us about ourselves and let us know who we are at our core.

Personally, my attraction for JM affirms my sexuality and is what makes me understand my emotional needs and express them well to my partner. Even as a man, it is that soft nurturing side of him that speaks to me and my kinks- turns out I'm into praise kinks and hearing him praise Jungkook and his band mates helps me see what I need from my partner and I'm able to communicate that well to her.

Sometimes I just show her clips of jikook or Vmin and say I want that for me. It's lazy but effective. Works great but I'm a libra and so turns out I'm also into degradation kinks and that always throws her off🤪

We are a work in progress😂

If I shared with you the things I've learned about myself from exploring my attraction to this man, Tumblr will ban me and the church will come for me and roast me gently over bonfire.

How long has this been going on for you? It might just be a phase? I don't know.

You might be gay but also you just seem to have a desire to be submissive during sex or you might be both hallelujah 😇

If so, I say welcome to the club 🥵

I volunteer to hold your legs down while he rails you🙂

Get on your knees bitch, daddy JM will be with us shortly ⛓😏

If you came here to get sane sorry.

I take souls for Jimin🙃

And if it turns out you are gay, EVEN BETTER😁

You are fine. You will be fine.

Don't judge yourself with the critical lens of others. As long as you are communicating openly, honestly with your GF and seeking her consent before trying anything with her while also respecting JM by not sexualizing him to his face and in person you shouldn't worry at all. I mean he doesn't even know you exist💔

Not that he will mind🤭

Try to look outside your friendship group to see if there are other men you find attractive in person. Your friends simply may not be doing it for you.

If you do decide you are gay, find me. Drinks on me🙃

Naa, wait. Yup you rich. Drinks on you😆