#i just saw it's been a year since her cinnamon buns post

[yourheartbeatonthehighline]

oh how I wish taylor would post about her buns again

#i just saw it's been a year since her cinnamon buns post #jolien talks

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger) || Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) ||| Also posted at AO3

—

Chapter 6B: Without You

Without you in my life // I'd slowly wilt and die But with you by my side // You're the reason I'm alive...

Soundtrack: “Without You,” Mötley Crüe, 1989 [click here to listen]

Six A.M. – Claire quietly shut her door and softly padded down the hallway toward the dining room.

The Ridge’s sleeping quarters reminded her of her college dorm – a long hallway of single rooms, with a shared bathroom at the end of the hall. Women were up here on the second floor – men were in a separate wing on the other side of the dining room, which with the therapy rooms and administrative offices sat at the middle of the large building.

As she entered the dining room, she smiled a hello at Glenna, a kind middle-aged woman who organized breakfast, among dozens of other jobs. Glenna had had a terrible addiction to pills – “just like you, dear, and I overcame it, so you can too” – and had found a home at The Ridge keeping the whole operation running.

“You’re up early,” Glenna remarked as Claire poured herself a cup of coffee.

Claire stirred in cream and sugar. “I haven’t been able to sleep.”

Glenna set down a tray of piping hot cinnamon buns. “It will be a while before you do. Remember, your body is still in shock. It will take longer than you want, to find a new rhythm. Be patient.”

“I will. Thanks, Glenna.”

Glenna gestured with her head toward the porch. “He’s out there.”

Claire frowned. “Who?”

Glenna smiled. “Who do you think? It’s none of my business – but you’re well-suited.”

Claire piled two cinnamon buns on a plate, her heart beating a bit faster. “There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, isn’t it against the rules?”

Glenna set one hand on her hip. “Not yet there isn’t. And since when did the rules ever stop either of you?”

Claire smiled and shook her head, already crossing the empty dining room.

As soon as she popped her head outside, she saw him – alone in the corner of the porch.

As she approached, she saw he had an acoustic guitar on his lap, strumming quietly, scribbling in a notebook.

“Good morning.”

He looked up at her, suddenly beaming. “Early to bed, early to rise, hmm?”

She held out the plate, and he took a bun. “I figured, might as well get up.” She sat down next to him, set down the plate, and took a long sip of coffee. “Do you always get up this early?”

Chewing, he turned back his guitar, plucking quietly at the strings. “Yeah. Being here is the first regular sleep schedule I’ve had in years. This may sound terrible – but I realize now that I’d forgotten how to fall asleep.”

She wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. “What do you mean?”

He tapped the side of the guitar. “I was drinking two bottles of Jack a day, Claire. I’d have it with breakfast, throughout the morning, before a gig, after a gig. I’d just pass out at some early hour, with some girl who I’d picked up at the gig or at a strip club after the gig, and then wake up sometime the next day. And when I wasn’t touring – I’d still drink a lot. Hang out with my friends, or with the band – go out, hit the clubs, maybe do a few bumps of coke. But it would always end the same way, passed out on a floor or a couch or, on better nights, my bed.”

She watched a blue jay flit from tree to tree, down below in the forest.

“I had so many chances over the years to wake up. It’s so clear to me now. There was one day when we were in the studio, laying down a new track – and I needed to take a break, so I’d gone to a smaller practice studio next door. With a speedball in my pocket. So I helped myself to it, and I don’t remember what happened next, but my producer tells me that a few minutes later I’d buzzed him on the intercom, and asked him for a gun so that I could shoot the men in top hats who were coming out of the speakers.”

Claire swirled her half-empty coffee cup. “I’d work three days on, three days off. It’s a punishing schedule – but I knew that going in. After a long day with several surgeries, I’d crash. Sometimes I’d have to be on call, so I’d sleep in this little room we had upstairs in the staff area. It had two sets of bunk beds and a shower – all a body needs. But I’d be so wired from the adrenaline – from needing to focus so much on the patients – that I couldn’t sleep, you know?”

He nodded. “I know. I know exactly what you mean.”

“The pills helped me sleep. That’s what I told myself at first. And I didn’t feel terrible when I woke up – especially if someone was banging on the door, giving me a five minute warning to get back downstairs. I could get all of the sleep with all of the alertness on the other end. But then…well.” She sighed. “Then it got to the point where I told myself I couldn’t sleep at all if I didn’t have the pills – even on my days off. Because I had to sleep, to make up for the sleep I’d lost when I was on call. And then I was taking them during the day, to calm down.”

He turned a new page in his notebook, pulled out a pen from behind his ear, and scribbled something.

“I guess you’re working on something new?”

He nodded. “Sometimes the music comes first. Sometimes it’s the lyrics that come first. But if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember it the next day.” He frowned. “Come to think of it – it must be because my memory was so shot from the booze, that I wasn’t even capable of remembering.”

He cleared his throat, and set down the guitar, and picked up a cup of coffee. “What do you think? You’re a doctor, after all.”

She smirked. “I’m a surgeon, not a neurologist. But it sounds plausible. Can you remember things better now, that you’re sober?”

He nodded. “It’s crazy. I just feel so much…clearer. In control. It’s good to be in control.” He took another bite of cinnamon bun. “Are you feeling that?”

She sighed. “I’m feeling. I didn’t want to feel anything for the longest time. But now I’m feeling…just feeling.”

Footsteps on the deck behind them – Rupert, shuffling in his bathrobe, blearily waving hello, clutching a gigantic cup of coffee.

A beat.

How to find common ground outside of their addictions?

“Can you tell me more about that song you’re writing?”

He set down his coffee and picked up the notebook, flipping back to the previous page. Set it on the table between them. Picked up his guitar. Looked down at his notes. Started to sing – his voice quiet, clear, strong.

Without you, there's no change My nights and days are grey If I reached out and touched the rain It just wouldn't feel the same

Without you, I'd be lost I'd slip down from the top I'd slide down so low Girl you never, never know...

Without you, without you A sailor lost at sea Without you, woman, the world comes down on me

“I don’t know where to go from there,” he said, continuing to play slow notes on his guitar. “Need more verses, of course. Maybe a space for a guitar solo. I don’t know.” He looked up at her. “What do you think?”

Rupert clapped and hooted from across the porch. Giving Claire enough time to find her voice.

“I think you’ve got a keeper there,” she said softly.

He held her gaze. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Play Freebird!” Rupert shouted.

They shared a smile.

Claire’s world tilted just a little.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be

[everlarkficexchange]

Written by: @alliswell21

Title: One of Us

Prompt 145: She moves in with her aunt and uncle when her parents dies in a small town. After suffering through trama, Katniss slowly starts to get better with the help of her family (aunt, uncle, cousin) and the Mellark brothers. But when things starts happening to her and the people around her, it’s revealed that she and almost everyone in the towns are apart of the werewolf pack and that one of the Mellark brothers is her mate. #werewolves [submitted by @animekpopxx]

Rated: G for general audiences.

Tags: Canon Divergent!AU; Modern with a dash of Supernatural; Grief/Mourning; Feeding as a Language of Love.

Note: This is my final submission to this year's EFE challenge! Yay! I really am grateful to @xerxia31 and @javistg for their continued support of this fandom and for hosting once again this event. You are such amazing people, and I’m absolutely honored to be part of a community with people as amazing as you two are! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for keeping EFE alive!

@animekpopxx, thank you too! You feed my muse! And you give me Werewolves!!!!

This story was a bit of rushed job, though, and there’s more of it, I mean... we haven’t seen them turn into wolves yet!!! 🤣 I just didn’t have time to edit the complete fic before the deadline, but if you’d like to read the finished product, keep an eye out for it on AO3. I’m fairly sure the rating will keep, but we will see.

 Kpkpkpk

There’s nothing but the sound of crickets and frogs filling the vast darkness of the night.

It’s another moonless night out here in Panem… or is I like to call it ‘the middle of nowhere’. It’s weird, how dark nights feel here, there’s barely a start peeking tonight, but in a strange way, I like it.

Sitting on my aunt and uncle’s porch to watch the infinite dark ahead while listening to the nocturnal critters it’s about my favorite thing to do… it’s what did used to do when we came here for long summer stays, anyway. He used to say he felt at peace and relaxed, connected with nature. Too bad it took him to be gone, for me to appreciate what he meant by that. So every night I come out here and sit in the steps hugging my knees, staring at nothing but the deep, black night surrounding the cabin, whisking my dad was sitting next to me.

Tonight is different than usual, though. It was raining until recently, and the smell of wet earth is so familiar my chest feels tight and my throat is knotted.

“Petrichor, Katniss,” I mumble the words noiselessly, “is the smell of rain, hun. It smells the same everywhere in the world.”

I lean my chin on my knees, wishing I could go back to feeling numb like when my parents just died. But thinking of the word petrichor, while smelling the thing, is bring forth a plethora feelings and memories I don’t know how to handle.

Dad used to love Scrabble, crossword puzzles and trivia challenges. He tried to get me interested in those games, teaching me words and their meanings, every time he had a chance.

I wish I had been more enthusiastic about learning the darned stuff; it would’ve meant an extra moment spent with Dad, and less regret to feel right now.

An involuntary whine leaves my chest. It hurts to think about it, and not for the first time, I dig my nails into my skin to keep myself rooted in place, and not tear running into the void.

I feel like I’m spiraling out of control, I fear this time something will break in my head and I’ll do something crazy, like scratch my skin away and run wild into the woods, like a beast… but the overwhelming thoughts gets halted when I hear soft noises from out in the distance.

It’s like the crunching of footsteps on the gravel at the mouth of my aunt and uncle’s property. It’s too dark and isolated here, deep into the country. I’ve seen big wildlife roaming around: deer, raccoons, coyotes and even a lynx. But the longer I hear the noises, the more certain I am I’m being stalked by something big and fast.

My heart beats erratically in my chest; every hair in my body stands on point, fear is clawing its way up my chest and into my throat, my eyes feel about to pop from my skull, and then I’m disentangling my knees from my arms, standing up as tall as I can— which isn’t saying much—and then I call into the night, “Who’s there?!”

I hear a faint disturbance of air, and then…

“Good evening, Katniss!”

Slowly, from the shadows, a blonde head pops, eerie for a second. Broad shoulders follow, and then a torso. Before the rest of his body comes visible into the light of the porch, two more blonde heads come into view, flank the first person on either side: Shoulders, torsos, Jean covered legs… The three Mellark brothers make their way leisurely towards me.

I nearly faint from relief after the rush of adrenaline pumping in my veins. Going through so many emotions: grief, sorrow, dread and relief, so fast in such a short amount of time has left me winded and unsteady.

I lose my balance, but one of the boys— Peeta, the youngest— breaks ranks, and rushes to hold me upright.

“Are you okay?” He asks softly, helping me sit back down on the porch steps. I lean my head against the main post.

“I’m okay. Just a little lightheaded,” I try not to glare. They gave me a fright, but I doubt they did it on purpose.

It’s something I’ve learn over the years. People in Panem are kind of quirky.

“Sorry we scared you,” Peeta offers, sheepishly. “We wanted to check up on you, and bring you something…” he looks up at his two older brothers and Rye — the middle one— steps forward, holding up a brown, paper bag, with little greasy spots on the sides.

I can guess what’s inside. They’ve been bringing me cheese buns almost daily, since Peeta found out they’re my favorites.

Rey hands the baggie to Peeta, and the latter offers it to me with a soft smile.

“Thanks,” I mumble, gratefully. I can smell the cheesy, yeasty treat through the bag; I can feel the warmth of the buns too! “While I love freshly baked cheese buns, you guys didn’t have to make this trek just to bring me a treat… on a dark, moonless night no less,” I fix them with a glare. “How did you even get here anyway? You couldn’t have walked and I never saw a car coming?”

My aunt and uncle’s cabin is at least 4 miles from town, and surrounded by woods; but then again, most houses in this weird little place are built in similar locations. It seems the townsfolk take their privacy extremely seriously.

“We rode our dirt bikes,” chimes Rye in, cheerily. “Not much light on those bulbs, though, but it’s okay. Our night vision is prime!” He gives me the A-Okay gesture.

“Rye,” the eldest, Bannock, warns lowly. Baring his teeth.

Rye shrugs and slips his hands on his Jean pockets.

I swear Rye hisses something like “it’s true” under his breath, but Peeta has been rubbing my back with the tip of his fingers all this time, and I’m getting drowsy, so I may have imagined the whole exchange.

“You should eat those while they’re still warm,” Peeta murmurs close by my shoulder.

I nod, and open the bag, releasing all the delicious smells of the buns, while Peeta massages my shoulders, encouragingly.

I must be really out if it tonight, because outside of my family, I’ve never been comfortable with people touching me… but, my family is all gone now, and I can’t go through the rest of my life without human touch, can I?

Grief stricken me out of nowhere, and barrels through me. I gasp at the acute pain in my soul at the loss of my parents. But in an instant, I’m enveloped in strong, thick arms, warm and steady. I’m sobbing into a hot, solid chest, covered in the softest cotton I’ve ever felt.

“Shush… I’ve got you, Katniss. I’m here for you,” Peeta whispers soothingly into the crown of my head.

He smells so good; like cinnamon and dill, from the bread he must’ve made this afternoon at his family’s bakery.

It takes a few minutes for me to get a hold of myself, and embarrassedly push out of his embrace, “I’m sorry,” I mumble, mortified.

Bannock presents me with a handkerchief, and I take it gratefully to wipe off my face and nose, before returning the soiled square of fabric to him.

I’m not sure why the Mellark brothers are being so nice to me. I’ve never been around them more than a handful of days over the past few years, when we came to see Dad’s remaining family outside mom and I, his half brother, his wife and their child.

I don’t know the Mellarks all that well, but in the handful of weeks since my parents’ funeral, the three brothers have been incredibly attentive and generous to me. Peeta more than the other two, but I don’t mind… I like him best anyway.

“It’s okay to cry and be devastated, Katniss.” Says Bannock, sagely. “You’re going through the worst time of your life, and we care for you… like family.”

“Oh,” I sit straighter, blowing my nose. I feel a little strange hearing him say that, “thank you? I appreciate your kindness,”

He nods, “Peeta’s right, though. You should eat the cheese buns before they go cold.”

“A full stomach always helps me feel better,” Rye adds, patting his belly, and smiling at me.

My stomach growls, as if to show agreement. I am hungry. I didn’t touch my supper earlier. I pick up the bakery gingerly, and pretty much shove my nose into it. The steam curls out of the baggie, filling my nostrils with the delicious smells. I pluck out a bun and practically inhale it in a second; quickly followed by another one. My third cheese bun, I decide to savor, slowly.

The Mellark siblings just hang around while I devour my treats.

The front door opens just as I’m wiping my hands on my leggings. My aunt’s head peeks out of the door.

“Oh, why hello everyone!” She greets, as bubbly as always. She’s wearing a dark purple wig, to match her dark purple outfit.

“Good evening, Effie,” says Peeta, standing from his squatting position next to me. “We brought Katniss a gift,” he points at the now empty bag in his hand.

“How sweet of you, Peeta!” my aunt gushes, “thank you for checking on our girl, and making sure she’s put something in her tummy before bedtime!”

I roll my eyes. Aunt Effie keeps treating me like a kid. I hate it. I’m 17 and mourning, not a freaking baby!

“It’s no problem at all, Effie! We were just on our way home anyway.”

“Well, it’s always nice having you boys over,” she offers, “but it’s getting late, and Primrose is already in bed, which is why I came out here to begin with, to let Katniss know that her sister was already asleep, so she’d know to tip toe back inside when she was ready to go to bed herself,” my aunt smiles.

I feel a slight pang of guilt; I’ve been wallowing in my own sadness this evening, and missed tucking my sister in to sleep. She’s the only person I’m sure I love, yet tonight I’ve let my own misery drown me.

“Don’t mind us, Effie,” Says Bannock, “We were about to leave…” he pauses and then calls a meaningful, “Peeta?”

“I’m going to wish Katniss a good night, and then we’ll go,” he says.

Not for the first time, I wonder if Peeta has a crush on me? I wouldn’t know he did, even if I wasn’t feeling so rotten inside. I’m not very good at flirting… but with Peeta it is different I think. He’s so nice to me, he’s taken up asking if I’ve eaten that day and if I haven’t, he feeds me something from his family’s bakery without charging me… it’s like he actually cares for me and my well-being, and his brothers care, because he does. It’s mesmerizing at times.

Peeta looks me in the eyes, “Are you ready to go inside?” He asks, offering his two open palms to me. He helps me up from the floor, and then smiles sweetly. He doesn’t let go of my hands while we stand facing each other.

Then something strange happens. Peeta doesn’t blink, as his clear-blue eyes bore into mine, and then his pupils blow out full, until only a ring of deep, glowing azure remains for his irises, “Sleep well, Katniss,” his voice sounds deeper and warmer than usual, “Rest and have a relaxing, dreamless night. Remember what I said: we are all here for you, to help through this hard time… alright?”

I feel groggy, “Yes, Peeta,” I mumble feeling my eyelids getting heavier.

“Oh dear, can you please instruct her to walk herself to bed? She might look lithe, but I promise, her little body is as heavy as any of us,”

Huh? What’s aunt Effie going on about? I don’t understand.

Peeta chuckles, squeezing my hands warmly in his, “You heard Effie… don’t fall asleep until you’ve gone into your bedroom and change into comfy pajamas.”

I nod, “Okay,”

“Good night, Katniss, I’ll be back tomorrow. Try to eat something on your own, I know you’re sad, but you need your strength for when the solstice comes.”

What a weird thing to say! Everything is strange here though… so I nod and march inside the house, mumbling my good nights to everyone and rubbing my very sleepy eyes. Once I’m in my sleep clothes, I lay in bed, and try to ignore the yearning of having Peeta rubbing my back like he was doing while I ate my cheese buns.

I sigh and go to sleep, a weird thought pops into my mind: “I’m so lucky to have such a sweet, caring mate. Peeta Mellark. Can’t wait to be bonded with him,”

#alliswell21 #animekpopxx #prompt 154 #Springtime Edition 2021 #submission

[bebepac]

The Double Date Mistake?

I am participating in @wackydrabbles​ prompt # 92 “I don’t think that was meant to go there.” will appear in bold.

This is also chapter 2 of The Meet:  To catch up on what you’ve been missing of the Meet so far Please click:  The Meet Masterlist

Original Post Date: 05/01/2021 at 3:15PM

The Book:  TRR

The Pairing:  Liam x F!OC (Liam x Jilian) 

Word Count: 1948

Summary: Jilian goes on a double date with Bebe and meets Leo for the very first time.  Jilian and Bebe share how they first met each other to the guys.  

Warnings: Sexual innuendos.  Profanity.  

Leo and Liam belong to pixelberry, Jilian belongs to @queenjilian borrowed for the duration of this series. All others are my own to help us tell the story.  

“And done. He has your number now Jili. Now fly my little birdies fly.”  

She thought he would text right away but he didn’t.  The whole way to Bebe’s apartment the twenty minute drive Jili’s phone was silent.

Bebe looked at Jili as she glanced at her phone.  What the actual hell?

She texted Jilian.

“Bebe why the hell are you texting me? I’m sitting right next to you?”

“I was just making sure your phone was on.”  

“I mean he’s still working Bebe.  He can’t just drop everything and just start texting away.”

“The hell he can’t. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you bruh?” Bebe grumbled as she angrily typed on her phone.

“Wing Woman are you trying to crash this plane?”

“The mother  hasn’t even taken off yet with you two trying to pilot it. I’m gonna need you to get your life together Jili.”  

The driver pulled to a stop. “Damn I really wanted to see how this turned out.”

Bebe got out of the car in a huff.

“I’ll let you know.”   Jili called out the window to her.

Jilian wasn’t going to let it stress her out.  He was still at work. She knew her job got busy at times, and she couldn’t just sit on her phone and do nothing.  As she was walking up the stairs to scan her door key fob, the phone rang.

It was a local number she didn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

“Jilian. It’s Liam.”

“Hi Liam.”

“I apologize for not texting or calling sooner.  Things got busy at work.”

“Oh I figured that was what happened.”  

"Bebe is something else. I feel a little attacked. I can tell it's from a place of love though."

"She's my best friend Liam. My true sister from another mister."

"So it's safe to assume you are single?" Liam inquired.

"I am, and for you the same?"

"Yes Jilian I am. Is it forward of me to say maybe we can change that for each other. I would really like to see you again. I'm off next Friday would you be free then?"

Jilian sighed.

"Friday is my date night."

"Oh. I just assumed you being single you weren’t seeing anybody even casually."

"With Bebe. We restaurant hop. We're self proclaimed foodies. 

Do you have any friends maybe we could double?”

“My brother, both him and Bebe have big personalities, I think they’d really get along.  Think she would be okay with that?”

“Yeah I think I could convince her.”  

They continued to talk, and about everything under the sun.  Liam was funny and witty and kept her attention.

She began to realize how much she had in common with the charming Liam Rys.  

She had cuddled into her bed under her covers laughing and chatting with him.  She finally rolled over realizing it was almost dawn.

“Oh my God! Is that the sun?!?!?!” she shrieked, surprised into the phone.

“I’m so sorry Jilian I completely lost track of time.”

“I have to go, I have to be at work in forty five minutes!!!”

Jilian said her goodbyes to Liam and hurried to work.  

Right when Jilian was sitting in her office reading over her chart  for her first patient’s checkup, there was a delivery.  

A large coffee drink had been delivered to her with a sweet gooey cinnamon bun.

“Gift for you Jilian Winchester.”  

Liam was really sweet.

She texted him thank you.

He had let her know he had an extra espresso shot added to her coffee.

Liam was a lifesaver.  

*^*^*^*^* The Double Date *^**^*^*^*

When Jili and Bebe got to the restaurant  Liam and Leo were already seated at the table both stood to greet them.  

Liam softly kissed  Jili’s cheek.  

Bebe glanced at Leo.  He was cute, but he was probably about five inches shorter than Bebe, not to mention Bebe was wearing heels making her tower over Leo.

Liam changed the subject breaking the ice between everyone, and the conversation between the couples started flowing.  

Jilian slipped in the subject of Liam and Leo honestly not looking much like each other.  

“We’re half brothers, we have different mothers. But don’t get it twisted Bebe.  I can scale you like Mount Everest. Taller women don’t intimidate me one bit.”

“Um….thank you for that blatant honesty…. Jili will you accompany me to the restroom please?”  

“Excuse us for a moment.”  Jili smiled politely.  

“Absolutely not Jili!!!!!”  Bebe was adamant when the door to the bathroom closed.  

“Bebe I didn’t know!  I swear when he said older brother, I was thinking he looked like him.  You would think older brothers are taller, bigger, and wiser. He is funny though.  You two do have similar personalities. Maybe try to focus on that Bee.  Let’s just try to have a fun time.  You don’t have to see Leo again.  But I know I want to see Liam again. I like him.”  

“You owe me big for this!!!”

Both women come back to the table.  Their drink orders had arrived.  Bebe takes a long sip on her drink.  

“That’s what I’m talking about!”  Leo smiled.  “A girl after my own heart.”  

“How did you and Bebe meet Jilian?”  

“We actually met in NOLA. We were both presenting at a medical conference.  Bebe for the Pharma side, because she’s a pharmacist,  and me for medical for being a nurse practitioner focused in the at risk population.”

Leo eyes flit to Bebe.

“So you’re a drug dealer?”  

Bebe smiled.  “ Legal Drug Dealer. Yep, that’s what I call myself. I’m slinging pills to pay the bills.”  

“I can dig it.”  

“We met the night before our conference began, in a bar.”  

When Jilian walked into the bar she noticed her right away.  There was a woman at the bar,  drinking her drink telling what appeared to be a funny story that had multiple people’s attention.  All were laughing with her.   She had to be a local. Jili thought.  

She had strings of beads around her neck.  

“What can I get ya?”  the bartender asked.  

She looked at Bebe.  “I want whatever she’s having.”  Bebe was the life of the party.  

“Well I did a little pre-gaming at the drive through daiquiri shop though. 

But mostly Hurricanes.  Get her a Hurricane Sal.”  

The bartender winked at Bebe.  

“Don’t skimp on the good stuff either!”  She yelled out.

Jilian’s eyes widened when the bartender  brought her the drink.

Bebe held up her glass to clink with Jilian’s glass.

“Laissez le bon temps rouler!!!!!”   The crowd screamed in agreement at Bebe’s declaration.

“What?”  

“LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!!!!”  

Jilian took a long drink of the cocktail.  No wonder.  

“Yep! You like it.  I’m Bebe, what’s your name?”

“Jilian.”  

“I’m gonna call you Jili.  What brings you to NOLA?”  

“Work, a conference.”  

“Bleh you said the “W.” word.  That’s not existing in my life right now.  We’re here, we’re alive, no regrets Jili.  Let your hair down and enjoy yourself.  I mean literally.  That bun is a buzz kill.”  

Jili pulled the pins out of her hair shaking out her locks.  

“So much better!!!! You’re a babe!!!  See they’re already looking at you differently.  We’re not interested though.  Unless they’re buying more drinks.”  

Jili glanced at the guys that were now looking in her direction.  

“You’ve got a lot of bead necklaces going on.”   Jili commented.  

“There are two ways to get beads in NOLA.  Buy them or earn them.”

Jili looked at Bebe and raised her eyebrow with a smile.

“Let me guess, your ass hasn’t spent a dime tonight.”  

Bebe took a long sip of her hurricane.  

“Nope.  Not a single dime.  Including alcohol.  I'll tell you what Jili.  Life’s too short.  I’m not going to regret any of my choices.  I spent a year in Costa Rica, living my life Pura Vida.”

“Pure Life.”  Jilian smiled.  Bebe was a carefree spirit, and people gravitated to her.

“We’re only here for a blink Jili.  How do you want your story to be told?”

She decided to throw caution to the wind and party the night away with Bebe.

Jilian’s alarm went off the next morning.  She was incredibly hung over as she tried to pull herself together.  

She had a random memory of her and Bebe walking down  Bourbon Street singing “Lean on Me”  while they were linked arm and arm.  The drunk leading the more drunk back to the hotel.

She smiled, straightening her black business suit.  She was about to pull her hair up into her signature bun but decided to let her tresses fall free instead.  

As she was getting checked into the convention she slipped her ID badge and program of speakers, herself among the list.  

She heard her laugh.  Jili whipped her head around and saw Bebe at the back of the line with two others.  Bebe was wearing a bright pink business suit, and her shoes and clutch had the print of medications on it.  

“The legal drug dealers have arrived!!!! Big Pharma in da house!!!!!!”  

Jili laughed, shaking her head.  

“That’s how we met Liam.”  

“We found out later we lived near each other, and made plans to meet up.  Been friends ever since.  That was like six years ago.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask us how we met.”  Leo asked.

“I assume you are brothers…. You met… at birth?”

Bebe shook her head at Leo.

Everyone was calm after not to mention the alcohol free flowing.  They headed to  a lounge after dinner, called Blue Notes.  The music there was full of soul and blues.  

The drinks continued. The music there stirred the soul.  

“May I have this dance?”  Jili nodded, taking Liam’s hand.   He held her close.  

Leo eyed Bebe.   “You know, I have always been one to have a huge case of FOMO.  So you and me let’s hit the dance floor too.”  

Bebe downed her drink in one swallow.  “Why the hell not.”  

They walked out to the dance floor.  With Bebe’s high heels Leo was chest level to her.  He pulled her close resting his head on her bosom.

“Um….so we’re doing this… okay…”  Bebe looked surprised but she was smiling.

Liam laughed softly when he glanced in their direction.

“I don’t think that was meant to go there.”  

“The height difference honestly never crossed my mind Jilian.  Things seemed really awkward for them for a bit, for more so Bebe.  Not so awkward now.”  

Bebe and Leo were looking at each other laughing.

“You know this is never going to happen Leo Rys.”  

“A man can dream.  Well….It could happen for the night.  I can tell you’re curious. Let me tickle your fancy tonight.”

Bebe laughed harder at him.  “You don’t give up do you Leo?”

“Nope because I get what I want.”    

“If nothing else Jilian, I think they will at least be friends from this, if nothing romantic happens.”

The next morning Liam was cooking  breakfast when Bebe walked out of Leo’s room. Leo’s sweatpants looked like capris on Bebe.  

“Good Morning Bebe. Would you like some breakfast?”  

“Sure.”

Leo walked out of the room a few minutes later.  

Liam smiled looking at the two of them.  

“Breakfast Leo?”  

“I already ate.”  Leo winked at Bebe.

Bebe choked on her orange juice.  

“Oh you were talking about bacon and eggs, sure.”  

Nope not at all awkward at all.  Liam thought as he fixed plates for himself Leo and Bebe.

Bebe was climbing in her ride share when her phone rang.

“Bebe… Liam just told me you had breakfast with him and Leo… at his apartment.  You spent the night with Leo?”  

“Leo was right, Jili.  Not all of him is fun sized.”

Tags in the comments !!!! 

#bebepac writes #the meet #before the greek meat #trr au #trr liam #trr jilian #trr bebe #trr leo #wacky drabbles #choices fic writers creations

[k-llama-llama]

Desperate Measures

Stray Kids AU: 9th member

Tori x Stray Kids

It’s officially December, and Jisung isn’t ready for it. 

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are OPEN and your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

“Good morning! Good morning! It’s time to say good morning!” Tori sang as she flitted around the kitchen.

“Would you please shut –” Jisung walked into the kitchen, trailing off as he saw her. “What the heck is going on?”

“I’m baking.” Tori said simply, holding up a whisk.

“I feel like I’ve walked into a….weird movie.” He walked past her, judging her outfit.

She’d been very productive that morning and gone to the gym early, but after returning to the apartment she hadn’t bothered to change out of her gym clothes. So that was why she was standing in the middle of their kitchen, wearing spandex shorts and a sports bra, covered in flour.

“I don’t know why you guys are still asleep.” She turned back to her bowl, whisking the icing. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“It’s…” He checked the time on her phone, which was sitting on the counter. “Ten o’clock? Since when are you such a morning person?”

Tori rolled her eyes. “Since today. Actually, since this day every single year.”

“What?”

“What day is today, Jisung?” She asked, adding a sprinkle of edible glitter into the icing.

“Not your birthday. Not one of our anniversaries.” He thought carefully. “Is it your mom’s birthday?”

“It’s December first.”

“Your mom’s birthday is December first?” He hopped up on the counter, landing right in the middle of a pile of flour.

“No, her birthday’s in February.” Tori rolled her eyes again. “It’s officially Christmas season!”

He winced. “Already?”

“What do you mean?” Tori frowned. “It’s the best time of year.”

“Yeah, I know, I just mean….” He gestured to her. “Holiday Tori is a lot.”

“What? How?” She exclaimed. “I’m so much fun! I decorate and we do cookies and we wrap presents and we-“

“This, is what I mean.” He frowned. “It’s the weird time of year where we find you in the kitchen in your underwear, singing way too early in the morning.”

“If you’re going to be mean to me, you don’t get any.” She turned away, aggressively whisking the icing.

“Any what?”

“Sniff.”

“What?”

“Sniff.” She said simply.

He did, taking a sniff for the first time since walking into the kitchen.

He instantly dove off the counter, grabbing her arm. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please, please can I have the center one?”

“What makes you think I’ll give you one, after you came in here and made fun of my holiday spirit?” Tori set the icing off the side, opening the oven to check. The delicious smell of almost-baked cinnamon buns filled the room.

“Tori.” Jisung whined. “Please. I take it all back. Your cinnamon buns are the best thing I’ve ever eaten and I absolutely have to have one.”

“Hmm, I don’t know if I forgive you.” Tori smiled, setting out a pot holder on the counter.

“I’ll….I’ll compete in the gingerbread competition this year!” He exclaimed. “I’ll help you decorate the tree…No! I’ll decorate the whole tree while you supervise.”

“That’s Jeongin’s job.” Tori smirked.

“Park Heechul, give me a fucking Christmas job so I can prove I deserve a cinnamon bun.” He begged.

“Hmm, step aside.” She pretended to mull it over as she pulled on her oven mits, opening the oven and removing the tray. Jisung felt himself faint a little bit as the full force of the smell hit him, and he leaned on the counter.

“Tor, I’m dying here.”

Tori sighed dramatically, setting them on the counter and poking one with a toothpick. “Boil some water.”

“What?”

“I thought you wanted to work for me. Boil some water.”

“Right, okay.” He hurried to find the kettle.

Tori laughed, carefully spreading half of the icing onto the cinnamon buns. She liked to do this step while they were still in the pan, allowing some of the icing to soak right into the cinnamon buns and just make them that much sweeter.

“Why am I boiling water?” Jisung asked.

“Get two mugs out.” Tori instructed.

“Right.” He opened the cupboard. “I’ll get the…Aladdin one for you…and the Little Mermaid one for…” He looked to her for confirmation.

“Yes, it’s for you.” Tori snorted. “We can’t very well have cinnamon buns without hot chocolate, can we?”

His mouth dropped open. “Hot chocolate…and cinnamon buns.”

“You betcha.” Tori scooped the center cinnamon bun out onto a plate, before getting a corner piece for Jisung. “Let those cool. We can have them once the hot chocolate is ready.”

“You’re the best.” He grinned.

“I know.”

“Doesn’t this kind of defeat the purpose of you going to the gym this morning?” He asked. “Eating all these carbs?”

Tori glared at him. “Now why would I give you a cinnamon bun if you’re going to bully me?”

“I’m not.” He said quickly. “I love you.”

“Sure, whatever. Get the milk out of the fridge.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

#stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids imagines #stray kids 9th member #female kpop #female!kpop #female member kpop #requests open #au #kpop #imagines #imagine #kpop au #kpop imagines #kpop imagine

[jaskierswolf]

Picture Perfect

Welcome to part three of the Witcher Holiday Hallmark AU! The idea came from @fontegagrilledcheese  and the gang ran with it haha. This was a fun challenge, and I hope you all love it!! I’ll add the links for part 4 once they’re posted!

Part 1 - Bardic Buns - Geralt/Jaskier (with a side of Eskel) by @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

Part 2 - Picture Perfect - Aiden/Lambert by Me! Yay!

Part 3- Talk of the Town - Triss/Eskel by @comfyswitcherblanketfort

There’s more in the series but these are the Christmassy ones!

Warnings: Minor injuries and bleeding, reference to past injuries and scarring.

_________________________

“Fuck!” Lambert cursed as he hit his head on the car bonnet. He’d been startled by the roaring sounds of a motorbike engine and jumped up whilst he’d been working under the car, and now he’d have the bruise to go with it. He yelled in frustration and laid back down before pushing off and rolling out from under the car. It was a sleek black Audi A3 that had come in for its MOT. The owner was a jackass but they paid well.

Renfri’s Harley pulled to a stop just beside him and she tugged off her helmet, tossing her curls free like something out of a fucking movie. Lambert wiped his greasy hands on his overalls and sat up to glare at her.

“What the fuck, Shrike?”

Renfri smirked. “You’re bleeding by the way.”

Lambert swore again and tried to find a clean part of his hands. He winced as he prodded at the already tender spot on his forehead, and sure enough his hand came away bloody.

“You’re a fucking liability, Shrike,” he growled and stormed away into the office to find the first aid kit.

He grumbled his way through washing the grease off his hands and cursed to high heaven when he applied the antiseptic wipe. Luckily it wasn’t deep enough to need stitches so he slapped a plaster on and skulked back into the workshop.

His jaw dropped when he saw their latest customer. He wasn’t one of their regulars, not anyone Lambert had seen around town either and he would have remembered him. The man was fucking gorgeous with long dark hair tied up in a bun, soft strands falling loosely by his chin. He was wearing tight navy blue slacks and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The whole look was accompanied by a velvety navy blue waistcoat that had Lambert going weak at the knees. The man was laughing at something Renfri had said and Lambert felt his cheeks heat up.

“Fuck,” he grumbled and turned on his heels to go hide out in the office. He couldn’t deal with that level of hotness today.

Aiden glanced up to see a man hurrying away into the back room. The straps of his overalls hung by his side and Aiden tilted his head as he took in the sight of that magnificent arse.

Renfri’s fingers snapped in front of his face and he blinked. “You were saying?”

“We can fix your bike but it’s old. We don’t have the right parts in shop so we’ll need to order them in.” Renfri crossed her arms in front of her chest and rubbed her nose, wiping oil onto her face.

Aiden’s fingers itched for his camera. She just had this fierceness and presence about her that would play out so wonderfully in his work. That was the reason he’d come to a new city after all. He’d been bored of his office job and nine til five existence. He was an artist. He wanted to create and show the beauty of the world.

He smirked as he thought back to mystery man’s arse; there was certainly beauty in the world.

“I can come back.”

Renfri glared at him and rolled her eyes. “On your head be it.”

Aiden pulled on his coat, scarf and hat, winking as he waved good bye. He glanced one last time at his poor baby before walking out of the garage. He scoffed as the snow covered his eyelashes. It was gorgeous to photograph but he really hated snow. He hated the cold in general. He’d much rather be inside in front of a roaring fireplace with a hot drink in his hand and a partner to snuggle up with.

He sighed as that thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. Of course he would have no partner to snuggle with. His boyfriend had just dumped him and it was absolutely not the reason he’d decided to suddenly move towns and quit his job. He would never make such a reckless decision.

Oh but the redheaded mechanic with the nice butt, Aiden hadn’t even seen his face but he was pretty certain he was going to marry that man. It was nearly Christmas after all.

____________________

Lambert sighed as he stared up at the sign above the shop door, Bardic Buns. Lambert’s brother Eskel, and their friend Geralt, hadn’t fucking shut up about the new bakery and its owner since it had opened. Geralt was apparently now dating Jaskier, but Eskel would also blush if you mentioned the baker’s name around him. Lambert was suspicious. Something had gone on there… something that he really didn’t want to think about his brother doing but it did explain all those fishing trips that had been a lot less frequent since Geralt had started dating Jaskier.

He shuddered and grimaced. He was not going to be able to look the baker in the eye, but he was tired and he wanted cake for breakfast, not to mention he was curious about the man that had made such an impact on his family in such a short time. He sighed again and pushed open the door. It was warm inside the shop, decorated with tinsel and baubles, fake snow sprayed all over the window in tacky Christmas designs. Jingling Christmas songs were playing over the radio, and the smell of ginger and cinnamon filled the air. Lambert’s stomach rumbled at the smell, if the cakes tasted half as good as they smelled then he was in for a treat. He allowed himself a small smile and shuffled forward to get in line. He’d been in the queue for a couple of minutes when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and swore.

The beautiful man from the garage was stood behind him. His long hair was loose today, falling past his shoulders, the ends tucked into his long rainbow scarf. The old Ducati was still at the shop until they could get the parts ordered in but the snowfall was causing delays. The man had dropped in a couple of times since to check up on the bike, and every time Lambert would flee to the office. He was just so fucking gorgeous and Lambert hated the way he made his heart flutter. It was so damned dramatic and he was happy being single at Christmas, he always had been. He didn’t want one man to come in a ruin that.

“Lambert right?”

“Yeah, Ducati 350 Scrambler 75?” Lambert growled, running his hands through his hair and definitely not blushing.

“I prefer Aiden, but yes that’s my girl,” Aiden chuckled and held out a gloved hand.

Lambert shook it quickly and then pulled back, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The introductions had been made so he could go back to hiding from Aiden and his life would remain as it was. It was going to be fine. He just needed to not look in the deep blue eyes and he would be fine, if only they weren’t so captivating.

“So, is there any reason you keep avoiding me, Lambert?” Aiden asked with a smirk, a hand gripping his shoulder and Lambert, for some unknown reason wasn’t shrugging him off.  He growled and turned back to face the counter, his arm almost burning where Aiden was touching it. “Growling isn’t an answer, what are you, a wolf?”

“Fuck off.”

Aiden laughed and moved so they were standing side by side. “That’s no way to speak to a customer, wolf. Are you blushing?”

“No.”

“Yes you are, Lambert…. do you find me attractive?” Aiden practically purred in his ear.

He growled again. “Purring? What are you, a cat?”

“Touché. What’s your order, wolf?” Aiden winked and gripped Lambert’s forearm.

“Hmm. Was gonna go for the apple cake, maybe a coffee if they do them,” Lambert grumbled, staring straight ahead and ignoring the way his heart was racing, the fucker.

“Holy shit!”

“What?” He scowled and turned to face Aiden who was staring wide-eyed at the man behind the counter.

“That’s Dandelion,” Aiden hissed in his ear. “He’s been MIA for months.”

Lambert looked closer at the man, he had scruffy chestnut brown hair and the brightest blue eyes he’d ever seen. He was smiling and dazzling the customer in front of them, and he was almost certainly Geralt’s boyfriend. “Nah that’s Jaskier.”

“No no no. That’s definitely Dandelion. He’s cut his hair and is now apparently wearing a cute little apron but that is definitely him. I saw him in concert a few years back, even got his autograph. He has the voice of an angel, and the arse to match.” Aiden was now also blushing and Lambert felt a dull ache in his chest. He was going to try and introduce himself to Geralt’s boyfriend but now he really really wanted to drag Aiden from the fucking bakery and far far away from this Dandelion fellow.

“Fuck.”

Aiden laughed. “Oh sweetheart, are you jealous?”

“No.”

“Come on, let me pay and I’ll walk with you to the shop.”

Lambert flushed and nodded. Aiden was apparently as stubborn as he was beautiful… and god was he beautiful. “Alright, but your bike is still broken.”

Aiden giggled as they approached the counter together. “Oh my darling, did you really think I came in so often to check on my bike? You’ll call me when it’s ready.” Aiden kissed his cheeked and then turned his winning smile onto Jaskier.

“Two slices of the apple cake and two coffees, black.”

Lambert couldn’t focus on the rest of the conversation. He barely registered Aiden asking about Dandelion and Jaskier’s little panicked shush, Lambert’s head was spinning and his face felt like it was on fire, burning where Aiden’s lips had brushed his cheek.

Aiden snapped him out of his haze by passing him a paper coffee cup. “Come along, wolf. You’ll be late for work.”

“Yeah well, that’s your fault, kitten,” Lambert grumbled and bumped their shoulders together. “Hey umm…”

“Yeah?”

“You want to get dinner tonight?”

“Only if you keep calling me ‘kitten’” Aiden winked and sauntered from the shop, leaving Lambert with an excellent view of his arse.

He stared for a little too long and Aiden glanced over his shoulder. “You coming?”

“Fuck, right… yeah.”

___________________

Lambert was somehow lounging on a sofa that wasn’t his own on Christmas Eve. They had both ended up at Aiden’s after the party the night before. It hadn’t been quite as terrible as Lambert had expected. It had actually been sort of nice to have the growing family altogether. Aiden hadn’t fawned over Jaskier the entire time, even if he’d been a little too excited when the former musician started to play.

Not that Lambert was jealous. Of course he wasn’t. He didn’t need to be.  He’d been on a couple of dates with Aiden and was completely smitten, not that he would ever admit it aloud. He’d stopped hiding when Aiden came in to check on his bike, which was now finally back with its owner. Lambert had had the pleasure of watching Aiden turn up in his biker leather which seemed far too tight around the curve of his butt, but fuck Lambert was not complaining. More than once Lambert had caught Renfri smirking at him as she worked on one of the other cars whilst Lambert kissed his new boyfriend goodbye.

And of course Renfri had told Yen and Triss so now the whole fucking town knew that Lambert was dating the hot new photographer. Aiden took the fame of being a new person in a small town in his stride but Lambert fucking hated the whispers and not so subtle glances. It would die down but not soon enough for Lambert. He just wanted to snog his boyfriend and keep doing his work. He was good at fixing shit, even if his methods weren’t always conventional and drove Shrike mad.

“You look absolutely divine, wolf,” Aiden cooed from behind the camera.

Lambert blushed, resisting the urge to pull the thick heavy furs up to cover his torso. He had a few nasty scars on his chest from his early days of being a mechanic. He’d gotten into an argument with one of bits of machinery and he’d had to get stitches. The scars had never quite faded but Aiden seemed determined to worship them until Lambert finally believed he could be beautiful.

“Fuck off.”

“Not happening, love,” Aiden laughed, and he heard the snap of the camera. “You could try looking a little less murderous? It’s Christmas Eve.”

“Bah humbug.”

Aiden gasped. “You don’t mean that.”

“Hmm.”

Aiden sighed and put down his camera, pulling a sprig of mistletoe from his pocket. “What about a little Christmas tradition? I stole it from Ciri.”

Lambert rolled his eyes but reached out for Aiden’s hand, placing a kiss on his wrist. “You know you don’t need mistletoe to kiss me right?”

“Oh I know, but it’s more fun this way,” Aiden winked and held up the mistletoe between them as he knelt by the edge of the sofa. Lambert huffed but still smiled as they pressed their lips together. “See?” Aiden mumbled against his lips and bumped their foreheads together.

“Hmm.”

“You’re almost as bad as Geralt. At least Jaskier knows how to talk.” Aiden cupped his cheek.

“My brother got the polite genes,” he grumbled. “I got stuck with hot and grumpy.”

“Just my type,” Aiden sighed as they kissed once more. “I love you, now don’t look at me like that. I know it’s too soon. I don’t expect you to say it back, darling.”

Lambert’s cheeks were burning up and his tongue felt heavy. He loved Aiden too. He knew he did. He had laughed more in the last week or so than he had in years. Aiden always kept him on his toes, dragging him out of his comfort zone just enough to allow him to learn to live again. He encouraged Lambert’s impulsive side that had fallen flat in the last few years, and he felt… happy?

He’d almost forgotten what that had felt like.

The way his heart raced in his chest at the mere thought of Aiden was a dead give away that he loved him too, but the words were stuck in his throat. He groaned and buried his face in Aiden’s neck. “Same.”

Aiden’s hands stroked through his hair. “I know, love.”

“Fuck off,” he grumbled.

“Merry Christmas to you too, my darling.”

________________

Tag list: @marvagon, @elliestormfound @slythnerd @caspertheassholeghost @feraljaskier @artistsfuneral @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass @geraskier-trashh @00qtee @kittynannygaming @stinastar @scribblesonmapleleaves @thecomfortofoldstorries @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms @veritasrose @trickstermoose67 @ohheytheremiss @kueble @love-more-today-than-yesterday

#the witcher #Lambden #laiden #lambert x aiden #hallmark au #christmas fic #wolfie's witcher writing #modern au

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Steven Universe - How the show fails to handle emotion, irrationality, and trauma

I have a better understanding of why SU is the way it is now. Why it is very dramatic, and why the characters often act in ways that are entirely out of proportion

When making a critical post about the handling of Flame Princess in Adventure Time, /u/samhadj01 attributed part of the problem to be that Rebecca Sugar was responsible for Flame Princess’s conceptualizing, and wrote her and Finn the same way that she writes SU characters - in a heightened emotional state, where they are feeling the EXTREMES of their emotions at all times, yelling at the top of their voice when angry, crying their eyes out when sad, and hurting each other. The reddit user said this made it difficult for the writers to figure out where to take Flame Princess next.

I challenged this reddit post’s claim that Rebecca writing FP’s first episodes meant that the crew didn’t know what to do with her. There is a lot of oversight in the AT crew, and Rebecca was just one cog in the wheel, even if she was full of ideas that ended up getting used. If she came up with a bad idea it would be the responsibility of her colleagues to put it back on track, and I don’t even think FP’s initial portrayal is the problem - the issue is she was completely marginalized after the fact, and bizarrely rewritten to lose her early immaturity without there being enough progression into that new stage. Following this she was basically written out of the show, with the exception of when she’d be useful to show off another character’s development (Finn, PB, even Cinnamon Bun).  

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I thought Samhadj made a good point about SU.  

Rebecca Sugar always loved writing music into her stories because it was the purest form of expression. You can hear how much love she puts into her music. She wanted to create a show where she could really sell emotions, where she could fill it up with songs that the characters would sing to express themselves and their troubled feelings. She wanted all the characters to be expressive, emotional, angry. She wanted Steven to be a character that helps everyone else learn to deal with their emotions, much like how her brother Steven helped her, as she’s said before. 

The issue is that, in order to facilitate this, she would need to write characters who would BE in these conflicts, feel heightened emotions at all times. 

So Rebecca conceptualized the gem species. 

Even though they take the form of adults, the gems are incredibly stunted. They remain the same for thousands of years. They are not equipped to process emotional trauma, having lived in a society where you have to cover up all your flaws and feelings at the risk of being shattered.  The show follows several Crystal Gems who rebelled against this system, but still haven’t figured out what it means to be free from this systematic oppression. They’re trying to live peacefully, but they’re prisoners still, in their hearts. 

Steven is the catalyst for change that points out the things that upset them, and forces them to deal with their emotions. He acts as emotional support and encourages the crystal gems to grow.  Steven also has much growing up to do himself. He has to confront the truth about what it means to BE a crystal gem, to have inherited the gem of the person who started the revolution, and Steven over time learns how messed up everything is. He is overcome with the desire to fix it, while still learning about himself.  

Why is this sort of storytelling a problem?

For the characters to have heightened emotions all the time, it means they have to keep getting in conflicts that reveal these emotions. It is these conflicts that make the show feel overdramatic and edgy - how characters will lash out and hurt each other, all the time, because they had a bad day, or something reminded them of something that hurt them. 

More urgently, who they are lashing out against. While the Crystal Gems hurting each other in season 1 makes sense, it is when they start taking things out on Steven himself that things become straight up toxic. 

Steven has to bear the brunt of EVERYONE’s problems, AND his own. He chases after Pearl in “Rose’s Scabbard” and nearly falls to his death while she ignores him, he fights with Amethyst when she is insecure about Jasper, he has to deal with Ruby and Sapphire’s fighting. He has to deal with all the townies and their stupid conflicts as well, Lars and Sadie’s fighting, so on. And ON TOP OF ALL THIS, people are trying to kill him all the time!!!!! But he is getting absolutely no meaningful support, and this is obvious, because the show itself acknowledges this later on. 

You start to ask the question, is this even worth doing? The characters around Steven display incredible immaturity, and after a certain point, they stop feeling like heroes.  They feel like leeches who are taking advantage of a young boy. 

Things get RIDICULOUS in the final season. Even after the episodes where Amethyst acknowledged the shitty status quo of everyone leaning on him, Steven then has to deal with the emotional problems of the Diamonds themselves, who it turns out lashed out the entire GALAXY because they didn’t know how to talk about their feelings?! For millions of years?!?! To be turned around by one teenage boy, even after a revolution where many of their gems expressed why they were wrong???!!!  

I think it was these final episodes of Steven Universe that completely shattered any remaining suspension of disbelief about the diamonds.

I’m no alien to ancient, immortal characters in charge of millions demonstrating incredible immaturity. Look at Princess Bubblegum and Marceline. Marceline would lean closer to the Amethyst side of the spectrum where she lashes out against everyone, while PB would be on the Pearl or Diamonds side where she’d pretend to act all rational and coolheaded and then do something insanely bad like crash a wedding or manipulate children. Pretty yikes, even up to the finale.  However, the difference is that AT is a more lighthearted wacky show where immaturity can slide for jokes, and most of the issues these characters have are inward facing. They identify and work on their problems themselves, with some support but not much interference from outside. They also do NOT act crazy all the damn time, and have plenty of moments before, during, and after their development where they are fully supportive friends. I enjoyed learning more about these characters and their pasts, because the immaturity never broke my suspension of disbelief.

The DIAMONDS, on the other hand, never get any sort of character development. I was excited to learn more about their creation, and how they came to be these insanely powerful beings that controlled a fascist society where emotion is not allowed. Why is it this way? Why do they want to keep it like this?

We never find out. We just see Steven embarrassing White Diamond after she attempts to murder him, and then she immediately goes full 180 redemption. It makes no damn sense! 

Steven Universe Future attempts to address the issues with everyone Steven knows being emotionally dependent on him, but Future forgoes genuine themes about healing in favour of its edgy focus on how Steven has become “damaged”. 

I was shocked watching SU Future’s first few episodes. I was astounded that the show would deconstruct itself so thoroughly, and have Steven address the exact things that were on MY mind. He realised that he’d been used.

How ballsy is that for the show to have the protagonist literally tear it to pieces in the final few episodes? 

However, any hopes for Steven directly addressing these issues, communicating with his friends and HEALING were dashed about half way through, when he only kept escalating.  Steven got so outraged that he shattered Jasper, and attempted to kill White Diamond while also injuring himself. He started to see himself as a monster. He becomes a murderer. He turns into a kaiju at the end since that’s how his perception of himself is different.

I was really disappointed that the show had wasted its entire runtime to build this up. 

The emotion that Rebecca Sugar was trying to capture was Steven’s pain, anger, the disconnect he had with his friends.

Future did not spend ANY time in demonstrating that Steven’s friends were acknowledging his pain. In fact, quite the opposite - they kept dismissing all of his feelings about Ruby and Aquamarine, and Greg was revealed as The Literal Worst when he thought his perfectly normal conservative upbringing was way worse than Steven literally getting tortured by aliens every other day and having no friends or education.  When Steven has his breakdown, they all cROWD him and start yelling at him. They have absolutely no regard for Steven’s boundaries at all. It’s almost like Steven’s friends are P-zombies at this stage. 

I did not like how Steven was portrayed as a dangerous, out-of-control killer. It’s not just that he SAW himself as this - it’s literally what he was.  You can do bad things because of your trauma, but it won’t turn you into a monster. If you act like a monster, that is your responsibility. 

And then the series ends with the hug, but we do not see Steven’s actual healing process or reconnecting with his friends. We only get a brief goodbye episode. 

After watching Obsidian, I cannot help but compare these scenarios. Obsidian was about Marceline healing from her emotional trauma. It was still very much a part of her, but she was learning to recognise when it was damaging her life, and communicate with others about it. It’s about learning to accept your cracks.

If SU Future had been about dealing with trauma properly and healing, it could have been the best series on Cartoon Network, and fully redeemed the weaknesses of the original show. 

However, Rebecca and the SU crew decided to focus too much on Steven’s pain, and Future ended up exacerbating the issues of the show. 

#steven universe #steven universe future #adventure time

[queenabstract]

Trolls x reader: Trolls reaction to their s/o telling them their gonna be parents. Please. Oh, and do you do Delta Dawn or Trollzart? Some don’t like to and I just wanted to be sure if you do.

Of course I can do Delta Dawn and Trollzart. I just haven't done them yet...until now.

DELTA DAWN

Guys and gals alike are able to have eggs, you knew that. You sometimes had given the thought about you or Delta having an egg together, but you two never had that discussion. You used protection, that was for sure......but maybe not enough.

"Oh my gosh." You said as you stared at the positive pregnancy test, tears forming in your eyes. You had been feeling out of it for the past month. Throwing up and getting weird cravings for certain kinds of food that you hadn't eaten in years(how the hell did you even remember the names of the dishes). You walked into the livingroom and sat down with the positive test still in your hands.

"Hey, (y/n). Is aunt Delta back yet?" Clampers ran up to you and asked. Since you weren't feeling well, you decided to stay home and insisted that Delta let Clampers hang out with you so you two could bond.

"Not yet, sugar. She'll be here soon, though." You said with a shaky breath and laid a hand on your stomach. How the hell were you gonna tell her?

"What's that thing?" Clampers pointed at the test. "I saw my mom looking at those things a bunch of times, but they only had one line on it. She and dad get really sad when they look at them."

"Oh...well...uh....I don't think I should be the one telling you about it then. You can ask your parents later tonight about it." You answered and patted her on top of the head. "Now why don't you go to your room for a bit and I'll let you know when your aunt gets back." You said.

"Okay." Clampers shrugged and went to her room.

"I'm back!" Delta announced as she walked in as soon as Clampers closed the door to her room. She looked around, confused. "Where's Clampers?" She asked you.

"I sent her to her room for a few minutes so I could talk with you." You said nervously.

"Talk? About what? Something wrong, love?" Delta sat down next to you.

"I've been feelin kinda off for the past month, so I uh," you showed Delta the test with two lines on it. "I took a test to see if that could be the reason, and as you can see I-"

"Is this for real? Or are you trying to prank me?" Delta took the test from you and looked at you in disbelief.

"Prank ya? You saw me puking! That was because of the morning sickness you goofbaURMF-" Delta cut you off again by smashing her lips against yours.

"I still almost can't believe it. I...you...we're...we're gonna be parents. I'm gonna be a mama." Delta hugged your stomach and gave you a bunch of kisses.

"Imma be a cousin?" Clampers asked.

"Now how long have you been standing over there?"

TROLLZART

You and Trollzart had been talking about it. You both had adopted a few children, but you were ready to have one of your own. You had already adopted two girls. One that played the triangle, and one that played the pennywhistle. You had played multiple different instruments in your lifetime, and you couldn't wait to teach your own bundle of joy how to play all the different kinds. And Trollzart was ecstatic to teach his future child how to conduct. Only problem was...the reason you two adopted in the first place was because you were having troubles conceiving. And once you did have an egg...the little one never hatched. It had been several years since you tried, and you were willing to give it another go. When you felt movement in your hair, you started crying out for your husband.

"What is it, my love? Are you alright?" Trollzart rushed to you.

"I'm better than alright, we did it." You said. You moved your hair out of the way to show the beautiful sparkling golden egg with curly purple hair at the top.

"Oh, beautiful." Trollzart gasped, holding your hands in his.

"We're keeping it in my hair this time. Its obvious that a nest isn't going to cut it." You said and covered the egg with your hair.

"Agreed." Trollzart couldn't stop the huge smile spreading across his face. "But we did it." He placed a kiss on your cheek. "I'm going to tell the kids the great news!" Trollzart said excitedly and went to find your other two angels.

Barb

She brought it up jokingly a few times. Especially when she was trying to sound seductive in bed. Neither of tou expected for you to each have an egg. Barb was an emotional train wreck the entire way through. She especially couldn't stop sobbing when you held your babies for the first time. You never saw her so overwhelmed with happiness.

Hickory.

He had gone on a trip with his brother back to their old home that they lost in an avalanche a long time ago. He didn't realize he left you with a little gift before he left. The trip was a long one to the place and back. It took him two months. By that time, your baby bump was starting to show and you were almost ready to lay the egg.

"Hey, gumdrop! I'm back. I hope ya didn't miss me too much." Hickory announced as he entered the house.

"I missed you more than you'll know, but next time, don't leave a surprise for me before you leave. It should be something we both get to enjoy." You yelled from the kitchen.

"A surprise? Whaddaya mean? Where are ya?" Hickory asked.

"In the kitchen! There's a bun in the oven!" You said. You put on your oven mitts and took out the large cinnamon bun and set it on the stove to cool.

"A bun...in the oven?" Hickory asked as he walked into the kitchen. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Hickory asked. You had you back towards him, now you turned to the side so he could see the baby bump. A huge smile spread across his face and he began tearing up.

"YEE-HAW!!!" Hickory cheered and spun you around in the air. "MY BEAUTIFUL SUNFLOWER YOU DID IT!!! WE'RE GONNA BE PARENTS!!!"

"Damn right we are! But next time, you're having the egg. Morning sickness sucks." You said.

"Next time!?! Of course! Anything for you, gumdrop." Hickory said and gave you several loving kisses.

God it took me a long time to type all that. I'll post a part 2 soon.

#trolls #trolls world tour #trolls world tour x reader #barb #queen barb #King Trollzart #Mayor Delta Dawn #Delta Dawn #Hickory #Clampers being unchaotic #pregnant reader #mentions of miscarriage

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

A pretty fulfilling friday morning thus far if I may say so myself!

I met up with my fifth grade teacher to go for a run along the water and the weather was moody and foggy and amazing. She is also a marathon runner and I always see her posting her runs on fb and every time I’m home I’m like I should text her and then I don’t and I likely will not be returning to NJ after this since my fam is moving SO I texted her to meet and !

Also! I! fucking! love! running! It’s INSANE to me how you can go for a run with someone and five mins in you are getting the intimate details of their life (and sharing your own) there’s something about being side by side and not eye to eye while pushing yourself physically that I think lends itself to complete vulnerability. One thing I loved running with the marathon team at UNC was meeting total strangers and somehow feeling completely normal and comfortable diving into personal information within five mins of meeting.

I was only running with my ex teacher this morning for like 40 mins and we covered SO many topics and the whole time I was just thinking “this is what I love.” I haven’t had a good irl running community in a long time and when I get to OR (once it’s safe for community running) I really want to try to join a run group even if it’s just a weekly pub run type thing. Also! We now have a standing friday morning run date until I leave for OR which MAKES MY WHOLE DAY !!!!!!!!!!! And we met up at 6:30 which is WAY earlier than I’ve been running lately and I’m so glad she got my butt out the door that early because it feels so! good!

Also she posted this pic on fb and I then had all of my elementary school and middle school teachers who are her fb friends commenting and singing my praises lol. She even texted my mom saying how much she loved running with me :,)

In other news! I also decided to pick up some goods from my favorite bakery in town. I have very very high bakery standards and this place is PHENOMENAL. I still struggle with getting ~restaurant food~ when it’s just for me but I looked at their menu for today last night (some things are constant but they have a lot of specials) and when I saw that bourbon glazed cinnamon buns and reese’s pb choc cake were specials I was like uhhhhhh how can I not??? Took it as a sign from the universe to go today and I am glad I did.

And! In my continued effort to wear random shit in my closet to decide what is worth taking with me I am wearing these shorts I haven’t worn in years and I feel super cute so! here ya have it!

Happy friday friends ⛵️

#personalposts #myfood #runs #nj

[estamos-destinadas]

Snapshots: Better Friends

.

Andrea looks around the crowded cafe from one of the corner tables as she sips her coffee and takes little bites of her cheesecake. It’s just after lunchtime in the middle of summer; the weather is hot and humid, prompting people to crowd in air-conditioned coffee shops. She’s glad that she came early enough to be able to secure a good table.

She’s waiting for Valentina to arrive. The two of them haven’t really spoken since a little after Valentina’s father died. Valentina more or less cut herself off from everyone after that tragedy and, unlike Sergio and Nayeli — and Lucho, may he rest in peace — Andrea hasn’t made an effort to reach out.

Then again, she and Valentina didn’t really hang out much even before that.

Andrea’s parents, both lawyers, have worked for Valentina’s family for as long as she can remember. She and Valentina met when they were in their teens and they became kind of friends. ‘Kind of' because Valentina was studying in Canada. They are now going to the same university, but Valentina, like their other friends, always used to cut classes and go to parties every day of the week, and that simply isn’t Andrea’s style.

It’s not like she doesn’t know how to have fun; she does, but she also wants to do well in her studies and become a successful lawyer like her parents. She used to find it a shame that Valentina often succumbed to peer pressure when, on the few times they talked without others interrupting, Valentina would eagerly discuss politics and documentaries with her. She and Valentina aren’t close, so she never really cared that Valentina chose to go drinking and partying every day with their other friends. However, she is ashamed to admit that, when those so-called ‘friends’ cyberbullied Valentina for being gay, a part of her felt that Valentina brought it on herself for choosing to stick with shallow friends who turned on her the moment she deviated from the norm.

It was that guilt that made Andrea reach out to Valentina a week ago, albeit tentatively. She wasn’t really aiming for a coffee meetup. She only commented on Valentina’s latest Instagram picture of her girlfriend, saying that she’s very pretty; Valentina agreed profusely, complete with hearts and smiley emojis; she messaged Valentina privately to tell her that she never posted mean things about her; Valentina said she knew; they got to talking about how the other was doing; and then they agreed to meet up for coffee.

Valentina would be bringing her girlfriend. Andrea is very keen to meet the latter. Not only is Valentina Carvajal dating a woman — it’s still quite shocking, even months later — she also overcame peer and societal pressure for that woman, even going so far as to come out on national television. Andrea is suitably mind-blown.

.

Presently, Valentina arrives at the coffee shop, scanning the place until she catches sight of Andrea. With her is the woman Andrea has seen on her Instagram posts. The two of them are holding hands, and Andrea watches with interest as they approach.

“Hola, Andrei,” Valentina greets cheerfully.

“Vale, hey,” Andrea returns. She stands up to kiss her friend’s cheek and gets drawn in a tight hug, which prompts a laugh out of her. That’s one thing that hasn’t changed about Valentina.

But Valentina has changed. Her smile as she steps back from the hug and takes her girlfriend’s hand again is unlike anything Andrea has ever seen. Valentina has always been a bubbly, cheerful person, but now joy seems to radiate out of her.

“Esta es mi novia, Juliana,” Valentina says, her tone full of pride, like she’s presenting some sort of great discovery.

Juliana is dressed simply: sneakers, jeans, and an artfully ripped and washed-out denim jacket over a dark yellow shirt. She is pretty in an unassuming sort of way, wearing only the barest hint of make-up, though Andrea wonders if she did something with her eyelashes or they’re just naturally long and curved like that.

Andrea finds herself wanting to tease Valentina. She settles for shooting a smirk at her friend, who flushes and hurries the introductions along. After Andrea and Juliana shake hands and exchange greetings, the three of them take their seats, with Andrea sitting across from Valentina and Juliana.

After a waiter takes Valentina and Juliana’s orders, Andrea makes small talk with them about the summer heat and the cafe’s artsy ambience until the same waiter returns with two cups of coffee, an almond croissant, and a cinnamon bun. They fall silent while the two women wordlessly halve their pastries to share with the other, murmuring their thanks as they smile and stare at each other for a moment longer than what’s probably polite in company.

Andrea observes them with a smile, noting how they seem to flow around each other, though she makes no comment on it. Instead, she asks Valentina about how she has been doing since they last saw each other at the beginning of the year.

Valentina tells Andrea about having dropped some of her subjects, which explains why Andrea no longer saw her at the university towards the end of the school year. Valentina doesn’t say the reason for it but she doesn’t need to; her family’s trials and tribulations have been front-page news since her father’s death. Glossing over that fact, Valentina goes on to say that she’s taking summer classes so she can make up some of the lost credits.

Apparently, one of the factors behind that decision is because Juliana is also taking summer classes. Juliana candidly elaborates that she’s taking part in an accelerated program so she could earn her high school diploma before she starts at the Ferrer Fashion Institute in the fall, on an almost full scholarship. Andrea has always been good at gleaning facts that people aren’t saying, and from Juliana’s explanations, she learns three things about her: that she’s younger than Andrea and Valentina, that she doesn’t come from wealth, and that she’s the fashion designer ‘friend’ who Valentina bragged about all those months ago.

Andrea couldn’t help but tease Valentina about the last one.

Valentina’s resulting blush and almost-shy but pleased smile makes Andrea realise that her friend never actually liked Lucho, not even a little bit. Valentina never got bashful with or over him, and she has certainly never smiled like that because of him. The fact that Lucho’s gone is the only reason that Andrea doesn’t make that observation out loud.

Andrea makes the mistake of asking after Eva Carvajal, who was represented by Andrea’s mom during her court trials. Valentina’s reply to her question is short; she’s clearly uncomfortable about the subject. Things would have gotten awkward were it not for Juliana dropping her hand under the table. Andrea can’t see it, but it’s clear that Juliana has put her hand on Valentina’s thigh. Somehow, with that one gesture, Juliana is able to draw Valentina back from one of those moody spirals she occasionally falls into.

Glad that she doesn’t have to deal with Valentina’s moodines, Andrea steers the conversation back to safer waters; namely, Juliana. The other woman seems a little shy at having the focus on her, but Valentina’s bright smile as she gazes at her girlfriend tells Andrea that she asked the right question this time.

When Andrea learns that Juliana is from the USA, her interest is piqued even further. However, Juliana seems hesitant to say anything about her life before moving to Mexico. The warning look Valentina sends her way discourages Andrea from probing, so she asks Juliana about the sights and spots she’s been to in Mexico City and surrounding towns.

Andrea has suggested probably a dozen places, Juliana nodding politely at each one, when Valentina interrupts.

“Andrea,” Valentina starts, “Juls has been here for about five months, she has been to all of those places. With me.”

“Val’s been showing me around,” Juliana adds. The two of them smile at each other, Valentina dropping her hand under the table, probably to hold Juliana’s hand.

“Really?” Andrea can’t hide the note of surprise in her voice.

“Of course,” Valentina says. “What kind of negligent girlfriend do you take me for?” she asks in a faux-insulted tone.

Andrea doesn’t know how to reply to that. She thought Valentina would have been kept busy by her family’s issues. Lucho used to complain endlessly about how Valentina always prioritised her family before him, even before Valentina’s father passed away. Even without considering her family, Andrea thinks that Valentina was negligent with Lucho — not that he and his tantrums deserved any attention.

As Andrea looks across the table at Juliana poking Valentina in the side, prompting soft giggles out of the latter, she realises that she shouldn’t be surprised that Valentina has taken the time to show Juliana all around Mexico City.

Juliana glances at Andrea, but Valentina seems to have forgotten about everyone else around them. And are they somehow sitting closer than they were before?

Andrea clears her throat. “So, which ones were your favourites, Juliana? Of the places you’ve checked out, I mean.”

“Ah, me gusta los parques,” Juliana replies. Valentina rests her arm on the table as she gazes at Juliana, nearly putting her elbow on her plate of pastries. “Y los museos de arte. También, me gusta mucho Coyoacán.”

“Te lo encanta,” Valentina chimes in, her tone affectionately teasing.

Juliana smiles at her. “Es muy bonito, ese- ah… ‘neighbourhood’?” she says, sheepishly quoting the last word.

Valentina returns the smile. “Alcaldía,” she corrects gently.

Andrea is slightly appalled that someone would not know the term ‘alcaldía’, but Juliana’s cheeky response of, “That’s what I said,” in English, makes both her and Valentina laugh.

They start talking about the museum and other installations dedicated to Frida Kahlo in Coyoacán, which turns to a comparison of Mexican artists, and finally about art in general, a subject which both Valentina and Juliana clearly enjoy discussing. From there, their conversation flows on to other topics: from Mexican films, to cafes and restaurants around Mexico City, to the similarities and differences between Texas’ Mexican food and actual Mexican cuisine.

The afternoon passes by in pleasant conversation. They end up having to buy a few more cups of coffee and additional selections of pastries so as to not get kicked out of the cafe.

At one point, Juliana excuses herself from the table to go to the toilet. Valentina seems like she’s considering going with Juliana, but the two women exchange a look and Valentina stays seated. Valentina stares at Juliana until she disappears around a corner.

Andrea is about to make a teasing comment on Valentina’s dopey smile when her expression turns into a frown.

“That man is staring at her,” Valentina says flatly.

Andrea looks in the direction of Valentina’s disapproving stare and sees their waiter.

“I knew he was flirting with her,” Valentina continues, turning to Andrea. “Juls doesn’t realise it– she never does, but these men trying to flirt with her are very annoying.”

Andrea is both amused and surprised. Maybe that waiter was indeed flirting, but she’s pretty sure he was trying to flirt with all three of them. Andrea herself enjoyed the brief attention; the man is quite good-looking. Andrea does her best not to laugh because Valentina sounds serious, but something in her expression must have given away her amusement.

“Qué?” says Valentina.

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Andrea says frankly.

“Like what?”

“Like… like this,” Andrea replies, waving in Valentina’s direction.

Valentina is so attentive with Juliana, so visibly adoring, and a little possessive too.

“So… into someone,” Andrea settles on saying. “And it’s not just that…”

Valentina’s brows are furrowed in that instant, but there’s a lightness and clarity to her expression that Andrea has never seen before. She seems so present, so in the moment, like she’s exactly where she wants to be.

“I mean,” Andrea continues, “you’re taking summer classes!”

It’s the last thing she expected of Valentina or anyone in their old group of friends, all of whom come from families who can afford to pay their tuition fees without blinking an eye. Andrea herself doesn’t have to worry about her tuition fees, but at least she makes good use of the money her parents are spending on her. Valentina, on the other hand—  

“You’ve never worried about classes before,” Andrea adds. “I didn’t even know that you like going to parks and museums, or just chilling out in cafes. It’s like you’re a completely different person,” Andrea states, though as soon as the words are out of her mouth she realises it’s not exactly true. “But not really,” she corrects herself. “It’s just that you seem more… I don’t know,” she gives up, “I can’t put my finger on it.”

Valentina’s frown disappears and she lets out a small smile. “I feel more myself,” Valentina admits quietly as she stirs her coffee, probably as an excuse to look down. “All those times with our fr– with Lucho and Nayeli and the others– I felt like I was pretending to like the parties and the alcohol and the… the drugs,” she adds in a whisper. “I really admired that you could say no when we tried to pressure you to come with us, and I’m really sorry for my part in that–”

“Vale, no,” Andrea has to stop her. “You’ve never– I think we were in the same boat.”

“I suppose so,” Valentina agrees, “but unlike you, I couldn’t say no to them…. When I met Juls, she– she’s so genuine and sincere, you know? The first time we talked, it was like… she already knew me, and liked me for me. She had no idea who my family was,” she says, chuckling at some private memory. “And the more we got to know each other, the more she made me want to be genuine to myself. Just by being herself, she makes me want to go after the things I want, not the things that people think I should want. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” Andrea says, nodding a few times. She herself has always been one to go after the things she wants, even as a child. “It’s great to see you like this, Vale,” she says honestly, smiling at her friend across the table. I’m glad you met Juliana. I’m happy for you.”

Valentina breaks into a wide grin. “I’m happy for me too. I’ve never been so… well, I–”

Juliana chooses that moment to return. If possible, Valentina’s smile becomes even more radiant.

Andrea doesn’t need Valentina to describe exactly how happy she is. Andrea can see it written all over her face.

.

Later, Andrea says goodbye to her friend and her friend’s girlfriend with promises to keep in touch even over the summer break. She takes a moment to observe the two women as they walk away together, Valentina’s arm around Juliana’s shoulder. Andrea went into their meetup expecting to catch up with Valentina and get to know her girlfriend. To that end, she was not disappointed. She realises, however, that she is also getting to know Valentina properly for the first time since they met all those years ago.

She hopes that they can start to be better friends to each other now.

.

.

.

#juliantina #fic #mine #stories #future #this is 1 of 2 fics I was planning to write #for the juliantinaappreciationweek's headcanons day #(or maybe it's 3 or 4? they all blur together) #i haven't started on the other one(s) so I'm not submitting this 'formally' just yet #(besides I don't know if it still counts since that day's already done) #i just thought I'd share now because... I want to #the main headcanon for this is that I just want them to have better friends #valentina in particular for this fic #nayeli and sergio were awful #andrea is that person chivis mentioned when she asked val who was coming over #I want to think she's a decent person #(I hope nothing in canon breaks that) #I just want them to have better friends ok #another headcanon that I tried to show in this fic #is that the val that juls knows #is different from the val that sergio and nayeli or sergio know #because val was 'performing' for her so-called friends #I don't think she was pretending completely #but I think she wasn't truly herself with them

[stahlop]

Happy Anniversary Must Love Dogs!

Today is the one-year anniversary of my first fic ever! Must Love Dogs was the story of how my husband I met with Emma and Killian as yours truly and my husband. And not only is today the anniversary of that fic, but it’s the 15th anniversary of our first date (hence why I posted it today originally). So here it is again in all it’s glory. I hope you enjoy it again or for the first time.

Thank you @profdanglaisstuff​ for your beta skills and the artwork for this piece. You have been amazing!

Summary: Emma is done with online dating, so she decides to get a dog instead. Could a new pet dating site lead to true love?

Chapters  2 3 4 5

Also on A03

“I’m done with online dating!” Emma huffed into the phone as she flopped backward onto her bed.

“I swear Mary Margaret, I’m done.  There are no good guys to find from dating online.  It would be easier to find a guy in a bar like the good old days.” Emma threw her arm over her eyes to block out the light in her room.

“Oh come on, Emma,” Mary Margaret, Emma’s best friend, began, “They haven’t been all bad.”

“Have you lost your memory, Mary Margaret?” Emma asked incredulously. “Do you not remember my descriptions of all the extremely bad dates I’ve been on over the past two years since I started online dating?” Emma set her phone on her bed, pressed the speaker button, and started combing her fingers through her long, blonde hair to put up into a messy bun.

“First there was the guy who only gave one word responses to every question I asked.” She huffed while unzipping her boots and throwing them into her closet from her bed.

“Then there was August who invited me to see his band, then got totally wasted before he was even off stage and hit on every other girl in the bar while he was talking to me.” Off came her socks thrown viciously into the hamper.

“Then that Walsh guy who was totally pretentious about having seen ‘The Vagina Monologues’ but really just wanted to say the word vagina over and over again.’ She wrestled her legs out of the jeans she had been wearing on her date tonight and grabbed her sweats that were haphazardly hanging off the side of her bed. She breathed a sigh of relief to be in much more comfortable clothes.

“This last date couldn’t have been worse than those, Emma.” Mary Margaret said incredulously.

“This guy, Neal, started off well,” Emma said, her voice getting a little muffled as she struggled to get her tight, ribbed shirt off and put on a Boston University sweatshirt instead, “He’s a dental assistant, so that seemed promising.  At least it was until he let me know how helpful that was when he got into a fight at a concert last month and had to have his teeth that were knocked out fixed.” Emma angrily stalked into the kitchen and started rummaging through her bottom cabinet for her saucepan.

“Oh, gees!” Mary Margaret complained. “I mean, that doesn’t seem that bad.  At least he got his teeth fixed.” she continued trying to make the best out of the situation.

“Oh, it gets worse!” Emma said, grabbing the chocolate discs from inside the freezer and emptying them onto a cutting board sitting on her kitchen counter. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed the milk and poured about a cupful into the saucepan and turned the burner on low heat.  “He proceeded to get into details about this fight and how it ended with him getting kicked in the balls and how painful that is.” She now grabbed a knife from the knife block and started vigorously chopping up the chocolate.

“Well…” Mary Margaret started but Emma was too worked up now to let her interrupt.

“So, I made the quip about how childbirth was supposed to be more painful, and he replied with ‘That’s just something women say to get attention!’” she huffed and almost sliced her finger with force she was now cutting the chocolate.

“Oh, Emma,” Mary Margaret started again.  

“I literally just gaped at him, pulled out a $20 for my meal and drink, and left.  And he had the audacity to yell after ‘Can I call you?’” And at that Emma practically threw the knife into the sink.

Emma took several deep breaths awaiting Mary Margaret’s response.  It took a few seconds and Emma began to think that they had maybe disconnected. She glanced at the milk on the stove and noticed the small bubbles starting to break the surface and quickly picked up the cutting board and swept the chopped chocolate into the hot milk.  Just as she grabbed the wooden spoon from the drawer below to start stirring the chocolate into the milk, Mary Margaret started speaking again.

“Emma, I know you hate it when I wax poetic on love, but you really shouldn’t give up on finding it.  I still feel like online dating could work if you find the right guy.  I know you have walls from your childhood, but - they may keep out pain; but they also keep out love.” Mary Margaret knew Emma had doubts, but she really didn’t want her friend to give up because of a few bad dates.

Emma was now pouring the hot chocolate into her swan mug and gave a heavy sigh. “Don’t you think all these horrible dates are a sign that I’m just not meant to be with someone? I know you and David found each other on TrueLove.com, but not everyone is you.” Emma placed the saucepan into the sink and quickly ran some water into it. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed the whipped cream and sprayed it onto her hot chocolate.  She replaced it back in the fridge then grabbed the cinnamon on the counter and sprinkled some over the whipped cream.

“You do realize David and I didn’t actually meet online.  He was on a date with another girl and I was drunk at the bar and I accidentally swiped his credit card thinking it was mine.” Mary Margaret reminded her.

Emma chuckled, her first true expression of happiness this whole disaster of a night, “Yes, but he met her through TrueLove.com, so it’s still because of that dating site that you two met.  Just think, if you hadn’t have swiped his card he might have ended up married to that Kathryn chick.”

“God forbid!” Mary Margaret gasped.  “Besides, she ended up with Freddie the gym teacher at my school.” Mary Margaret taught fifth grade at the local elementary school.  “Turns out after David ditched her to figure out where his credit card had gone, she ran into him at the bar. Apparently, she and Freddie had been high school sweethearts and her father didn’t like him so he sent her to a college out of state to separate them.  It was fate that I happened to take David’s card, or she may have never found Freddie again.” Emma sighed and rolled her eyes at the way Mary Margaret sounded so hopeful telling this story.  She was always giving hope speeches about finding love.

“Look,” Emma started while blowing on her hot chocolate to cool it down, “I think I just need a break from online dating. It’s exhausting trying to find a good guy on there. I just needed to vent about the awful date.  It’s so much easier on Tinder when I know the guy is a creep I get to arrest.”

“Emma,” Mary Margaret said sternly, “your Tinder dates aren’t dates.  That’s you pretending it’s a date to arrest them for skipping bail.  It’s not even funny to joke about that.”

Emma had now plopped herself down on her couch and turned the television on to Animal Planet.  Pitbulls and Parolees, one of her favorite shows, was on.

“Maybe I should get a dog.” Emma said suddenly. “At least that way I’ll have someone to come home to everyday and someone who loves me unconditionally.”

“I can see I’ve lost you on the dating conversation.” Mary Margaret huffed. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, sweetie.’

“Ok, Mary Margaret, talk to you tomorrow.” Emma said distracted by the pitbulls on the television screen.  She definitely thought a trip to the local dog shelter might be exactly what she needed.

EKEKEK

Emma didn’t get to the shelter the next day; a skip she’d been tracking for a few weeks suddenly came back into town and she collared him exiting a grocery store of all places, but the day after she definitely made time to go the shelter where Mary Margaret’s husband, David, worked.

“Emma,” David began, “are you sure you understand all that’s involved in caring for a dog?” He looked at her with concern.  Emma was notorious for barely taking care of herself, let alone another living creature.

“I think this is what I need, David.” Emma began. “I would rather be caring for someone that needs me than go out looking for someone who just wants to get into my pants. I think this would be good for me.” She finished. David nodded and brought her into the back where the animals were kept.

Emma had been imagining that it would be an almost dungeon-like place with sad looking animals in cages.  She was pleasantly surprised to find only a few cages, but mainly large rooms with several happy looking dogs and cats running around playfully.  There was even an outdoor area where the dogs could play with volunteers from the shelter.

“Most people just like to look around, see what kind of dog jumps out at them, literally and figuratively.  You can take any dogs that you like out to the play area to really get a feel for their energy level.” David said

Emma strolled through the room.  Each room window had a paper taped to it that said “Hi! My name is…” with the name of the dog, plus their age, what type of dog they were and any pertinent information a pet owner might need.  Emma knew she needed a smaller to medium-sized dog as she lived in an apartment, and she did not want a puppy that she would have to housetrain.

She walked up and down one set of rooms and saw a medium-sized black and white dog looking slightly forlorn. Two other dogs were wrenching a rope chew toy back and forth between them.  The dog was laying on a large dog pillow, completely oblivious to what it’s roommates were doing. Emma stopped in front of the window and the dog briefly looked up. Something about it just spoke to her.

“I’d like to take that one outside.” Emma said to David who was a little further back.  

“Really?” he asked, “That one has been known to be a little prickly.  Doesn’t seem to like people very much.” He said as he got out his keys from his pocket. Emma laughed at the comment, as people tended to say the same thing about her.

“Sounds like the perfect match.”

“She’s some sort of Boston terrier/pit mix from what we can tell.” David said as he grabbed a harness off the wall to put on the dog. “You can have genetic testing done on a dog to find out exactly what the breed background is, just like with people, but unless they have some disease that is breed specific, it’s not really worth it.” He finished fitting the harness on the dog and handed the leash to Emma. “You can take her out to the back playground for about 15 minutes to get a feel for her.”

The dog was ecstatic to be outside.  She ran around the fence perimeter about three times before she came over to Emma and gave her a good sniff.  Her tail immediately started wagging.

“Smell something you like, huh?” Emma said to the dog.  The dog gave her hand a tentative lick. Emma reached over and slowly started scratching behind the dog’s ears. Immediately, one of the back legs came up and started thumping out of the dog’s control.

“Oh, you like that a lot, don’t you pretty girl?” The dog chuffed at her but did not move away.

They continued to bond for the rest of the allotted time, the dog running around, but always coming back to Emma for a scratch or to be petted. David watched from the window.  He was surprised at how well this dog liked Emma.  She usually acted aloof to any person who tried to play with her. David had never seen her so… overjoyed. And Emma seemed to really be bonding with her too.  David had never seen Emma so affectionate with someone before. They really seemed to be the perfect match.

Emma arranged to pick her up the next day.  It was only after the dog was put back in the room that Emma noticed the name on the dog’s paper, Aphrodite.

EKEKEK

“So, Emma,” Mary Margaret said through speakerphone as Emma was putting away dishes.  

“Uh, oh,” Emma said.  She could already tell that Mary Margaret had something up her sleeve from the tone in her voice.  It had been two months since she had adopted Aphrodite, or Ditie, as she was prone to calling her (with an occasional Diters when she was being a really good girl), and Mary Margaret had seemed to accept that a dog was all she needed in her life and she did not need a man. “This sounds like what you usually say to me when you’re trying to set me up.  You’re not trying to set me up are you?”

Mary Margaret gave a little cluck. “No.” She said almost a little too quickly.  “It’s just….” she paused to get the right wording out. “Well, I was reading this article today about online dating,” Emma huffed through the phone, “and I read that there are all these new niche dating sites that are up and coming.”

“What does that mean, Mary Margaret?” Emma asked exasperated that this is where the conversation had gone.

“Well, have you ever considered a pet dating site?” Mary Margaret asked almost meekly.

Emma glanced over her countertop to see Ditie snoozing away in her dog bed, a new one she had bought for her when she had taken her home the day after their initial meeting.  Emma smiled contently.

“What is that?  Like an online dating site for my dog?  She’s been fixed, Mary Margaret, she doesn’t need any other life partners other than me.” Emma walked back over to the dishwasher and grabbed the silverware basket to put away.

“No!” Mary Margaret said over the clinking of the forks, knives, and spoons, “It’s a site for people with pets to meet other people with pets.  Niche sites are for people with specific interests.  I thought it wouldn’t be bad to possibly meet someone else who also had a dog.  Then maybe you could find a boyfriend and Ditie could also have a playmate.” Emma huffed again.  Ditie also huffed in her sleep.

“I don’t need to find a man just to socialize my dog, Mary Margaret.”

“I know that, I just thought it might be something to look into.  I’m texting you a site I found. Just take a look. Gotta go, bye!” Mary Margaret said brightly, then hung up before Emma could argue any further.

She continued to put away her dishes while Ditie snoozed when a ping came from her phone.  It was the text from Mary Margaret as promised.

“Really?” Emma whined when she saw the name of the site, Mustlovedogs.com. She put her phone back down to finish her dishes.  She still had some research to do for a skip she knew was still in town and she was hoping to nab the next day. She sat down at her desk, opened her laptop and started researching the leads she had about her skip.  

“Ok, the skip has been sighted in these areas recently.  He also has an ex who lives not too far from here that might be helpful. It looks like she has a dog, I wonder if she had it when they met. Dammit!  Stop thinking about dogs, Emma.  Ok, I could scope out the ex’s apartment and see what she’s up to.  Maybe she’ll be out walking her dog and I could have Ditie with me and then it would seem natural.  Two people with dogs meeting is natural.  Dammit! Stop thinking about meeting people with dogs, Emma!” She pushed the laptop away in frustration. She checked the time and saw she’d only been working for about 15 minutes before her mind wandered to that damn website.

“Dammit!” she huffed while pulling her laptop back closer to her and reopening it and entering the website Mary Margaret had sent her.

The website was full of bright pictures of couples with their dogs in various states of happiness: walking in the park, playing fetch, all sleeping in the same bed. Emma rolled her eyes at the obvious happily ever after vibe that was happening on the site. She decided to put in some basic information in the “what she was looking for” section on the website just to see what it would come up with.  According to the site, she didn’t need to have a membership to look, just to contact any potential matches she might get. Once she put the information in, she realized just how new the website actually was.  On the last site she’d been on she had usually matched to about 30-40 different guys with similar interests.  Here she was only matched with eight.

She started scanning through the profiles that had been selected for her.  The main format was the same as any other dating site, just a blurb about yourself, your interests and hobbies, but it also had a profile section for your dog.  

“That’s cute.” She said out loud, while scanning the first profile.  Nothing in particular stood out to her that made her want to contact the guy though.

All the guys seemed standard website dating fare, except that they had dogs, which made them slightly better than most guys Emma supposed. Dogs were excellent judges of  character, so she assumed that all these guys were better than the average single guy just for the fact that they had dogs. But no one was really standing out.

It was 11:00 when she got to the eighth and final profile.  So far Mary Margaret’s website had been a bust, and she was getting tired.  She’d read this last profile, one Killian Jones, and head to … holy mother, he was good looking! Dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes, a bit of scruff on his chin. He was leaning, almost nonchalantly, against a boat mast with just the hint of a smile on the corners of his lips. It could look arrogant, but on him it looked almost boyish, even though he was definitely all man. There was no way his profile could match his gorgeousness.

Killian Jones - 34, graphic designer

Originally from London, I moved to the US to go to college (Go Terriers!).  I was primarily interested in pursuing an English degree, but even with my superfluous vocabulary, found it utterly pedantic, and not wanting to complete the British stereotype of a stodgy, British, English professor, decided to go into the exciting world of graphic design instead. I currently am the head graphic designer for Boston Tea Party Boat Tours. The sea is my mistress, which essentially means I love to go sailing. I spent many years as a child learning to sail and find it very soothing. A great stress reliever. And, while an affection for sailing the open waters would be nice, is not a deal breaker when it comes to a woman I am wooing. I also enjoy many land activities, including geocaching and drinking rum (I’ve been told I have all the makings of a pirate). Hopefully, being a possible pirate does not put you off of reading the rest of my profile. At least give my dog a chance if my profile scared you a little.

Jolly - 2, Boston Terrier/Pit Mix

Hi! I’m Jolly, short for Jolly Roger, even though I’m a girl.  My dad has a thing for Peter Pan and since he didn’t like Wendy or Tiger Lily for a dog, Jolly it is.  And I am a jolly dog, so aptly named.  I love going out sailing with my dad because I have a cool blue life vest that I get to wear.  I also love walking on the beach and rolling in the sand and getting myself so sandy that my dad has to vacuum out his car more than is necessary. I also love going for drives (I call shotgun!) and just going to any place that allows dogs. I’d love for my dad to find me another dog to play with and for him to have another human to play with.

Emma gave out a slight laugh, because of course it was written perfectly. The profile was definitely different from the usual profiles she was used to reading.  She also liked that he’d written Jolly’s profile as it were from her perspective, something none of the other men had done on their profiles (and the fact that Jolly was the same mixed breed as Ditie). He just sounded so personable, and someone Emma would actually hang out with … or even date.

She looked at the time on her laptop and say that it was just after 11 PM.  She had a really good feeling about this guy.  One she’d never had with any of her other online dates.  She did a quick online search of him and found him on the website for Tea Party Boat Tours as his place of employment.  She didn’t find much else, which, in her profession, she always found was a good thing.

“Ok, Emma, you can do this.” she said trying to pep herself up to writing a profile with half as much personality as his.  

Emma Swan, 28, Bail Bonds Person

I moved around a lot when I was a kid so I’m from nowhere in particular.  I finally decided to put down some roots in Boston around five years ago. As it states above, I am a Bail Bonds Person, which I’ve been doing for the past eight years.  I am currently pursuing a criminal justice degree at BU and studying for the Police Academy exam. I am a master of the law so please don’t respond to this profile if you are a felon, have even been a felon, or plan on being a felon. I like taking runs near the water and so does my dog, but I also love just chilling out at home, ordering out, and streaming old 80’s and 90’s movies (Goonies and Hook being two of my favorites).

Aphrodite, 1, Boston Terrier/Pit Mix

My mommy has only been my mommy for about two months, but she has been the best mommy ever!  She gives me lots of treats and takes me on lots of walks! I especially love going to dog parks, especially ones that have water.  Baths and swimming are my favorite! I don’t get to go swimming much though, as mommy doesn’t know anyone with a pool. But my favorite dog park has a little swimming area for dogs like me. I know my mommy thinks I’m all she needs, but I think human companionship with someone else who also has a dog companion for me would be good.

Emma looked it over.  She didn’t want to come off sounding desperate, but she also wanted to match the same playful tone Killian had written his (and Jolly’s) profile with. She just needed pictures of herself and Ditie to add to her profile.

Opening her pictures folder, Emma quickly scrolled through until she found the picture she wanted to use.  It was the day she brought Ditie home.  David had taken it before she left the shelter.  Emma had a big wide smile, her long, blonde hair tied into a loose braid hanging over her shoulder. Ditie was licking her cheek and David managed to snap the picture before she scrunched her face because of Ditie’s tongue practically in her mouth.

Emma uploaded the photo of her and Ditie, and uploaded the whole profile onto the website. Now, to get Mr. Killian Jones to notice it.  She had noticed that there was the option of a virtual kiss, kind of like a nudge or poke on some of the other sites she had been on.  So she clicked on the virtual kiss option on his website.  She let out a big breath of air that she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding.

Checking the time again, it was now close to midnight, Emma decided there was nothing else she could do tonight.  She closed the laptop and went to get ready for bed.

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4​ @superchocovian​ @lfh1226-linda​ @ilovemesomekillianjones

#must love dogs #anniversary #cs au #cs au ff #captain swan #profdanglaisstuff #cs online dating #cs pet dating

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM ( PART 4 )

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

Song for this chapter: Put it Straight by (G)I-DLE

Here is part 4 of I Have A Dream 🥳 Song for this chapter can be played towards the end. Stan (G)I-DLE and ATEEZ for clear sking and good grades 🤩

Morning After....

She woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside her bedroom window, the sound resonating around her quiet apartment. Next thing she noticed was the rays of sunlight coming in through her curtains, lighting up the dark room.

She laid there basking in the warmth that the sun was providing for her. She thanked the heavens that it was no longer raining, the gloomy weather always got her in a bad mood.

She waited a couple more minutes before finally opening her eyes, only for her to shut them close again. She was positioned right in front of the window so the sun hit her directly in the eyes making her squint. She rolled to the other side of the bed, this time finally being able to open her eyes properly and scan the room around her.

She noticed right away the extra person missing from beside her, his side of the bed gotten cold from the missing heat his body would radiate. She figured he left last night after their activities, not wanting to wake her nor talk to her.

She wasn’t hurt, of course she wasn’t. This wasn’t a love relationship, she didn’t love him and he didn’t love her. This was just a simple sex correlation that they had agreed too and she would be damned if she even thought about catching feelings.

At first, she wondered how it would feel like, to have him wrapped up in her embrace. To lay in bed together watching a movie only to forget it halfway and talk about their feeling and their dreams. She pictured herself cooking him food and feeling his warmth as he snacked his hands around her stomach hugging her from behind. She tried to picture herself loving him and him loving her back, but she wouldn’t.

Not because it was the wrong thing to do but because it was the right thing to do. She didn’t love him that much she knew, but she did love Y/N and just thinking about her made her forget all those thoughts. Thoughts that weren’t supposed to be there to begin with.

She remembers the first time she let her lust clouded mind speak for her. Leading her towards Y/N’s apartment that night she was gone. She was desperate for some action, having been single for quite a long time, and the only guy close enough to give it to her was him.

Looking back she curses herself for even thinking about him. She doesn’t know why she didn’t just go to a club and pick up a one night stand. Someone who she could easily use then get ride off, saving her from this mess that she had created. She wishes she had better self-control, a department she clearly lacked on and she wished she would have stopped after the first time but at the same time it was exhilarating.

She wanted to stop but the thought of it being forbidden drove her into wanting it more till it lead her to now. Sitting up on her bed post-orgasm she noticed how sore and sticky her legs felt. She cringed in disgust, knowing that she fell asleep in her own body fluids made her feel extremely dirty.

Swinging her legs off the bed she glanced at her left side table where her clock was placed along with a framed picture. She gazed at the picture noticing how happy she was in that picture along with Y/N. She knew what was going to happen after this, she just didn’t know how severely the consequences would be. With a deep sigh, she noticed that she woke up 30 minutes earlier than intended, having extra time to take a shower and get ready for work where she’ll have to face Y/N as if nothing was wrong.

Walking toward the bathroom located in her room she turned on the showerhead, making sure that the water was the right temperature for her. Facing the sink she grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste before finally stepping into the tub and letting the water wash away all of last night's activities.

She made sure to be extra careful while washing her inner thighs, having been gripped rather roughly by Hongjoong last night. Washing her hair and then brushing her teeth she gave herself a final wash down before finally turning off the shower and stepping out. She snatched the towel next to the tub using it to run it through her hair then pat her body down. Letting the towel drop to the floor she walked back towards her room and into her walk-in closet, where she opened the doors and took out undergarments and clothing to wear for the day.

She got dressed rather quickly wanting to make sure she had enough time to eat breakfast at the mall, her mouth salivating at the thought of a cinnamon bun. Hoping into her light wash mom jeans and throwing on a simple white tee she sat at her vanity where she rummaged through it to look for her bb cream.

Ji Woo knows she isn’t ugly, she was blessed with clear skin and small plump lips but she still preferred to wear makeup, convincing herself that it enhanced all of her good features. Grabbing her brush she made sure that none of the bb cream was left unblended before finally taking a soft pink lipstick and putting it on her lips. Applying other small finishing touches she was finally satisfied with her look of the day and got up to grab her things.

She exited her bedroom and walked towards the living room where she saw all of her clothes scattered around from last night. She looked at it for a couple seconds before decided that she would just pick it up when she got back from work. She walked towards the door and grabbed her purse that was placed on the little side table next to the door. She made sure that she had her name tag as well as her wallet and phone that she would probably charge at work since she forgot to do it last night.

With all of her things in hand, she took her coat from the hanger beside her and opened her door double checking she had everything before finally exiting her apartment and locking the door behind her. The ride in the elevator and her exiting the apartment building was all a blur to her, having been stuck thinking about Y/N and Hongjoong. Mainly Y/N as she was the one who she knew would be affected more by her actions. Shaking her head to get rid of those thoughts she walked towards the bus stop located at the end of the street, arriving in it and sitting down on the empty bench.

She rummaged through her bag and took out her phone checking to see if it still had any battery left and internally cheering when she saw that she had 38%. It was enough for her to be able to listen to music and with that, she took out her headphones and plugged them into her phone clicking on Spotify and hitting shuffle on a random playlist. Looking down the road she spotted the bus coming towards her and she quickly stood up and took out her fare card reminding herself to put more money in it later on.

She patiently waited for the bus to stop in front of her and once it did she walked up the small stairs and greeted the driver, making sure to pay her fare then making her way towards the back where she took the seat closest to the window and sat down.

She noticed how empty the bus was, having only 2 people and herself in it, she figured it was because of how early in the morning it was before finally turning towards the window and watching the streets go by. She watched various store owners opening up their shops for the day and how businesses man and women ran towards the train station not wanting to be late for their shifts. She slowly got stuck in her thoughts, the music and scenery causing her mind to drift to various places, one being the very same reason as to why she was where she was today.

She owned everything to Y/N. Ever since high school were they met, Y/N always had her back; protecting her from the mean girls and saving her from the local fuck boy in their school. They did everything together and still continued to do so to that very day, she was the reason as to why she had her recent job.

Y/N worked in a popular clothing store located at the mall. She told Ji Woo about the position they were currently hiring for and even talked about her to the manager and with that Ji Woo was able to gain a spot in the store. She was extremely thankful, she didn’t have to do all those things for her but she did without fail and she honestly didn’t how she would react once Hongjoong told her.

She wouldn’t drop all those years of friendship, would she? They had been through so much together it would break her heart to pieces if Y/N decided to stop their friendship. She knew how selfish it was of her to think that she would still be with her after all she’d done, she often prayed that at least they could still salvage what was left of their friendship after the news struck. She didn’t know how wrong she would be.

Snapping back out of her thoughts she realized that she had been messing around with the necklace she had on. It was a friendship necklace her and Y/N had gotten on their first Christmas together, promising themselves that they would always be friends. Signing to herself she dropped the necklace from her hand before she noticed that she had arrived at her stop in front of the mall. Quickly getting up she bid farewell to the driver and hopped off the bus walking inside and going towards the food court located on the first floor.

She passed multiple food establishments before she finally spotting the one she was looking for. A small bakery was placed towards the back of the court, being hidden behind all the other food places. She stopped in front of the small counter and waited for the little old lady in front to notice her. She was finally spotted as the old lady turned around to place freshly baked cookies in the front display, where various other pastries laid waiting to be eaten.

Ji Woo smiles at the old lady before finally ordering two cinnamon buns and two iced caramel coffees making sure to buy some for Y/N. She made small talk with the old lady before finally receiving her order and paying for it quickly, walking away and telling the old lady to keep the change over her shoulder.

She walked towards the escalator and walked herself towards the second floor where she located the store she and Y/N worked in. Arriving at the store she quickly walked towards the backroom to put the breakfast down on the table to clock in. She opened up her bag and began rummaging through it before finally finding her name tag and pinning it on her shirt, making sure her hair wasn’t covering it.

Walking out the backroom she scanned the room around her to locate Y/N but instead of finding her she found Soo Ah.

Soo ah was one of the other girls that worked in the store and she would usually take shifts for girls who couldn’t make it or had an emergency, it wasn’t unusual for her to be there but she knew something was up when she saw her.

Y/N never missed a shift, she was practically the manager of the store, running around and solving customers problems better than the actual manager. If she wasn’t there then the store wouldn’t run smoothly that day and Y/N knew that so without fail Y/N made sure she was always present for her shift in the morning. Not having her there meant that something had happened and Ji Woo prayed that it had nothing to do with her and Hongjoong.

Calling out to Soo Ah she waved at her to come towards her and waited to speak to her till she was directly in front. “ What happened to Y/N? Why are you here? Did something happen to her ?!” Ji Woo fires at Soo Ah rapidly asking various questions at once while gripping her hands waiting for Soo Ah to answer her back.

“ You didn’t hear?” Gasped out Soo Ah looking at Ji Woo as if she had grown an extra head. Ji Woo stared at her, rapidly shaking her head before encouraging Soo Ah to continue talking. Looking around Soo Ah stepped closer to her and looked directly into her eyes scaring her from how serious she was being.

“ Y/N... quit last night. She called the store yesterday around 8:30 asking for the manager. She sounded like she had been crying.” Soo Ah said as she looked around again as if she was afraid someone would hear her but it was only her and Ji Woo in the front of the store, the manager being in the back office. Ji Woo opened her mouth to speak before Soo Ah beat her to it “ Her and the manager were speaking for a long time, and after a while he came out looking frustrated and sad.” She said while biting her bottom lip, as if she knew why the manager was sad and Ji Woo knew that she knew so she asked her.

“ He said that Y/N requested for her final check to be deposited into her account and then said she was quitting. Something to do with a family member and having to be there for them. Basically a family emergency from what I got, so he asked me to take her shifts from now on so Hi working buddy!” Soo Ah said finishing up with a bright smile towards the end of her little rambling.

Ji Woo paid her no mind as she quickly turned around and ran towards the back room. She snatched her purse from the locker she had placed it in and took out her phone turning it on before clicking on her contact list.

She cursed as she heard beeping from the other line letting her know that Y/N’s phone was currently off. She tried calling her a couple more times before giving up and throwing her phone in her purse rushing to sling it over her shoulder and running out the room.

“ I have to visit Y/N, I think something is wrong and I need to make sure she’s alright.” She told Soo Ah as she walked pass her making her way towards the front of the store. “ Tell the manager that something family related came up and it’s an emergency.” She turned towards Soo Ah watching her open and close her mouth like a fish not knowing what to do.

“ Well what do you want me to say to him?” Asked Soo Ah fiddling her fingers nervously from having to lie to the manager. “ I don’t know tell him my mom is in the hospital or that my brother broke his leg just make sure he doesn’t know the real reason why I left okay.” Ji Woo said as she stared at Soo Ah making sure she knew what she had to do before finally turning around and running off towards the exit. She could hear Soo Ah calling out to her but she kept going not once stopping to look over her shoulder.

She sprinted out the mall and flagged down a taxi, relaying to him the address to Y/N’s apartment before taking her phone out again. Instead of calling Y/N she clicked on the one she was planning on deleting that same day. She put the phone against her ear and waited for Hongjoong to pick up, hearing the phone ring three times before it went straight to voicemail. She lets out various curses out and turned towards the driver, telling him to hurry up and drive faster promising him double the pay if he did that for her. Nodding his head the driver stepped on the gas petal practically flying down the street but still making sure he was driving safely.

10 minutes later she was in front Y/N’s apartment and staying true to her promise she took double the amount out her wallet and paid the driver. Hopping out the taxi and shutting the door she sprinted towards the entrance of the building and walked towards the elevator. Getting in she pressed the bottom to the 6th floor and impatiently taps her fingers on her thigh from how slow the elevator seemed to be ascending. The small space lets out a ding before the doors opened and Ji Woo rushes out towards Y/N apartment.

She stands in front of the door taking several breaths in before finally lifting her hand and knocking on the door. She stands there a couple of seconds waiting for Y/N to open the door before she grows impatient again and starts knocking excessively against the door.

She presses her hands against the door and starts to bang on it calling out Y/N’s name to let her in. She takes ahold of the door handle and starts jiggling it trying to open the door but instantly gets annoyed when she notices that it’s locked. She continues to bang on the door and puts her entire weight on it as if it would somehow help get the door open before she feels herself fall forward.

She winces from how harsh she fell before lifting her gaze from the ground and immediately notices several legs standing in front of her.

——————————————————————————

Hongjoong’s POV

He wakes up to the sound of pounding coming from his right and he winces from how loud it is, the headache he gained yesterday still present. He blinks his eyes open to be met with the ceiling, the fan attached to it slowly turning causing a small cool breeze to be present in the room.

He fails to notice the other 3 people in the room with him before one of them finally clears their throat catching his attention and waiting for him to look at them. He slowly turns his head towards the living room doorway where Mingi, Wooyoung, and Yeosang are standing staring at him with hard glares that cause him to get goosebumps.

He opens his mouth to speak but before he even gets the chance to say anything arguing breaks out towards the front of the apartment, he immediately recognizes Ji Woo’s voice through all the harsh words being thrown out and he freezes. He goes to get up but his legs give up on him causing him to fall back into the sofa, he expects one of the guys to come over and help him but all they do is stare at him as he struggles.

He waits for the rest of the guys and Ji Woo to come into the living room so that he can finally just get them to shut up and let him wallow in guilt but they seem to be getting more aggressive with their yelling causing everyone in the living room to wince from how loud her screeching voice is. Finally after what seemed like forever he hears them lower their voices and he thanks the gods for the silence that surrounds the apartment but it breaks again when he hears the sound of heels stomping towards the living room.

He watches as Ji Woo stands in the living room doorway seeming to be scanning the place before her eyes finally land on him. Her eyes seem to go red when she makes eye contact with him and the only thing he can do is watch as she makes her way towards him before lifting her hand and striking him across the face.

His head harshly turns towards the left and he feels his headache getting worse but he doesn’t let out a sound. He knows he deserves this and he knows complaining is the last thing he should be doing so he lets her hit him again.

Seonghwa seems to take pity on him because he moves towards them and grips Ji Woo hand harshly moving her away from Hongjoong and giving her a glare that says stop.

They all stare at each other before Ji Woo finally opens her mouth breaking the silence in the room. “Where is she?” She asks as she stares at Hongjoong.

“ Gone thanks to you.” Spits out San while glaring at her and she flinches away from him as if he just smacked her across the face.

“ What do you mean gone? She just got up and left?!?” She asks them as she stares at them waiting for one of them to tell her what’s going on. She seems to grow impatient with the lack of response before she opens her mouth to speak again.

“ ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT! WHERE IS Y/N?!?!?” She screams out at them before finally Jongho gets up and throws a piece of paper at her face “ Why don’t you see for yourself homewrecker.” He tells her and she swallows down harshly, never seen Jongho this mad in her life.

She picks up the paper that fell at her feet before finally reading through it. The guys watch as she starts to shake and let out small whimpers as she goes through the letter. They watch as she finally finishes reading before dropping to her knees and crying out loud.

Ji Woo grips the paper tightly in her hands as she lays on the floor, the guilt and the shame eating her alive with every breath she takes in. She looks up at the guys and finally takes in their appearance, the guys all having bloodshot eyes and swollen faces from what she guesses had to do with finding out Y/N left and she shakes her head refusing to believe what she just read.

She plans to sit there for a while trying to take the information in but that doesn’t seem like the plan for someone as she’s instructed to get up. She lifts up her head and makes eye contact with San, she sees him crouch down to her level and stare at her before finally reaching down and grabbing her hand.

She yelps as San lifts her off the floor and begins to drag her towards were Hongjoong is seated. She watches as he takes ahold of Hongjoong as well before starting to drag both of them towards the front door. She hears the rest of the guys yell at San to stop and watches as Wooyoung attempts to step towards him before getting stopped by Yunho seeing him shake his head and telling him to step back.

She struggles against his hold on her arm and she knows that she would have bruises there from how hard he is holding her before he finally lets go of her. San slams open the door before taking ahold of her arm again and throwing her out of the apartment along with Hongjoong.

“ You don’t have the right to be in here, not anymore,” San says as he stands in front of the doorway. Ji Woo turns her head towards Hongjoong where she sees him sobbing to himself, making himself small leaning against the wall facing the doorway.

“ After what you’ve both done you don’t even deserve to think about Y/N or her baby.” She hears San say before she whips her head towards him.

“ B-Baby...?” Ji Woo stutters out feeling like someone just punched her in the gut. She sees San sneer at her as if she’s dirt under his shoe and he opens his mouth to speak again.

“ Yeah, she was pregnant you know or probably didn’t since you were so busy fucking her low scum boyfriend.” San says as the rest of the guys pile up behind him glaring at her and Hongjoong from where he is still sobbing against the wall.

Ji Woo opens up her mouth to speak but is interrupted by San, he reaches down and grips the necklace hanging out of her shirt. She feels San yank the necklace off and winces when she feels the chain pull at her skin. “ You don’t need this anymore. You don’t deserve it... not after all the pain you caused Y/N.” She hears him say as well as the rest of the guys hum in agreement before she hears San speak to her one last time.

“ Don’t think about ever coming back here again. Both of you. If Y/N ever comes back and you think about coming here I swear you better pray I won’t find out because it won’t be pretty.” He says before giving them a final glare then slamming the door, leaving Ji Woo and Hongjoong in the hallway to wallow in their guilt.

——————————————————————————

Far off in a small village located in Incheon sits a tiny brick house, seeming to be abandoned but the light coming from the small bedroom located on the second floor lets people know otherwise

Leaning against the window sill is a young lady dressed in an oversized sweater and some skin-tight biker shorts fiddling with a small circular object in her hand.

She stares at it for a while, ignoring the tears streaming down her cheeks and trying to keep any sound from coming out her. She remembers her brother sleeping soundly in the room across from hers and the rest of his friends sleeping in the small living room downstairs. She doesn’t want to wake them after the long day they had, moving tons of boxes then traveling all the way to a small unknown village just to drop said boxes off. She felt like it was her fault that they got dragged into this even though they don’t know what happened. The minute Youngjo called them up and said it was an emergency and that it was about Y/N they didn’t hesitate to help having been good friends with Y/N before she started hanging out with Ateez.

She sits there in complete silence apart from a sniffle or two that she manages to let out, staring at the ring Hongjoong gave her.

She planned on leaving it on top of the letter she wrote, wanting it to be like a slap in the face from how significant the ring was to them. She received it on their 2nd year anniversary, Hongjoong gave it to her as a promise that one day they will get married and live the rest of their lives together.

She scoffed at the thought of it now and how far away from the truth it was.

Wiping away the tears that had been accumulating under her eyes she walked towards the boxes stacks neatly in the corner of her room and grabbed the small box that laid on top. She opened the small memory box, being greeted with multiple little trinkets that she had kept all throughout her childhood.

She spotted various movie theater tickets and small little letters her parents used to write for her before school. She also spotted various Polaroids with Ji Woo causing her heart to clench at the sight of them. She made a mental note to herself that once she had free time she would take all those pictures and burn them, not wanting to be reminded of just how much everything around her was falling apart.

Finally finding what she was looking for she took a small ring box and opened it, planting the small silver ring in it before shutting it close and shoving it back in the box, not wanting to look or feel it any longer.

She turned back around and sat in her previous spot against the window sill, looking out at the stars shining brightly in the night sky. She took a minute to think of everything that happened in the past 2 days and just how much it has affected her.

She feared of going to sleep, not wanting to remember the image of Ji Woo and Hongjoong fooling around in the sheets. She was scared of turning on her phone knowing that she would be greeted with various missing phone calls and unread messages from them. She figured that she would change her number after she finally settled down in her new home.

She took a deep breath in before finally closing the window and laying down on the mattress placed in the middle of the room. She didn’t want to go to sleep but she knew had to for her health and for the new addition coming soon.

She closed her eyes and with scattered thoughts, she focused on one thing and one thing only.

“Is it a girl or a boy ?”

She finally felt her body relax and her mind slip away from all that has happened so far. The thoughts of her baby filling her up with a fuzzy warm feeling, driving her into a deep sleep.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez angst #kpop imagines #kpop angst #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

[lianneoelke]

The Vancouver Island & Sunshine Coast Loop: A Solo Cycle Tour of BC’s Finest Retirement Communities. Part 2

Day 4: I hit the road at 7am. A quick ride on the Trans Canada woke me up and brought me to my daily bakery stop.

Serious Coffee for Serious Cyclists.

After second breakfast, I only had to follow one road: the 19A. With wide shoulders and no navigation required, I made good time up the coast. It would have been top notch riding if it wasn’t for the EXCESSIVE WIND that blew all day for NO REASON AT ALL. 

The best views were at Union Bay, where I slowed down a little too much until I realized the ferry I wanted to catch was coming up soon. I gunned it the last 25km to Comox, which was, shockingly, FULL OF HILLS. I gave up on my granny gear zen and let my rage carry me to the ferry terminal, where I caught the 3:25 just in time. The wind refused to chill out so I sat inside and charged my phone while I watched the white caps dance on the ocean.

Once I landed in Powell River it was only a few minutes to the campsite. After 113km my legs once again felt perfectly normal, which was weird. Sitting on a bike saddle, however, was deeply uncomfortable. I decided to walk the 3km to Townsite Brewing, stopping to gorge on veggie korma and stuffed potato naan on the way. 

I didn’t have room for another beer but I drank it anyway because I had biked HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS to get there. 

I met this beautiful cat on the way back to the campsite, where I quickly fell asleep.

Day 5 began with gear sorting. It seemed like a lot.

I was a bit apprehensive about biking on the Sunshine Coast as I heard it was even hillier than Vancouver Island, but if the family camping next to me could bike to Lund from Powell River with a trailer and a young kid, there's no reason Gavin and I couldn't. The hills were very present, but still doable. I only had 27km to go, and I would have enjoyed the long decent into Lund if I knew I wouldn't have to climb back up eventually.

Lund was a tiny, bustling hub. I was surprised at the size of the grocery and liquor store (also surprised there was a liquor store at all). The store didn’t have much fresh produce, but I can live off beans, chips, and hot dogs for DAYS, thank you very much. Next I headed to Nancy's Bakery for a couple sandos and one of their famous blackberry cinnamon buns (which I'd been thinking about since the last time I was there, two years ago). I found a patio spot next to an outlet and gave my phone one last top up, because I couldn’t count on charging anything on Savary Island. With a couple hours before my water taxi reservation, I found myself on my own with nothing to do, which hadn't happened yet on the trip. I decided to call my parents and tell them what I was doing. I promised my mom I’d write a blog post so I could share some photos (hi, mom!). It was bizzy on Savary Island: rubbermaids, bags, boxes of booze, bikes, and a line of trucks lined up the dock. The people quickly dispersed into various homes, cabins, guest houses, resorts, and moss covered trailers. I went up the hill (no matter where I went, it was up a hill) to the campground: a loose scattering of wooden tent pads on some guy’s property. The owner told me “There is no check in. You just find a site that looks good and settle in.” Cool.

Of course the only rain I saw on the trip happened as soon as I arrived at a sub-tropical island. I expected to have a nap ASAP, but instead opted for a cold shower and laundry in the sink. I couldn’t fully clean my smelly bike shorts with Camp Suds; I could only make them slightly less smelly. 

Savary is a long, skinny island filled with lush rainforest and edged with white sandy beaches. After a comfortable and pitch black night, I was up at a decent hour. Day 6 was my rest day, which meant biking without all my gear. My legs felt overqualified for the 8km rip across the island and back. 

It was Gavin’s rest day, too. 

After a big brunch scramble and a hot dog, I headed to the beach, which was just as sunny and glorious as I imagined. I took a dip in the ocean, read, ate a bag of chips and a hot dog. When I ran out of food I went back to my camp and made an underwhelming dinner of overcooked veggies and terrible instant mashed potatoes with a hot dog. 

One of the best books I’ve read in a long time. It’s about a girl growing up in a survivalist, ultra conservative, and unsafe family fighting for education, despite never setting foot in a classroom until the age of 17. I left my copy at a community library on Savary. Feel free to go get it. On day 7 I caught the morning water taxi back to Lund, then made one more stop at Nancy's before tackling the 3km uphill. It was overcast and muggy. Sweaty and grimy. The ride to Powell River was quick though, and I treated myself to a Buddha bowl and cold beer for lunch. 

It was another 27km to Saltery Bay...

... which was an exceptionally beautiful provincial park.

Of course the campground attendant came to collect fees while I was in the middle of washing myself from a pot.

I felt resourceful that day. Like I belonged out there. It was the little things, like seeing the cycle route sign even though I didn’t see any other cyclists, collecting large rocks to hold my tent down because the ground was too hard for stakes, or improvising a bear hang because the campground didn’t have a bear proof locker for cyclists (get it together, Saltery). Part of me still feels like the kid who spends all her time reading, watching LOTR EE marathons, and making pizza at Panago for $6 an hour. I never grew up thinking of myself as athletic or woodsy, and compared to many people I'm not, but it's about time I realize I can do this on my own. And that I love it.

Day 8 began with a serene ferry ride to Earl's Cove. Out of the entire trip, I was the most nervous about the upcoming ride from Earl's to Sechelt. I knew it would be windy, narrow, and steep, and I didn’t want to end up schmucked on the side of the 101 because some yahoo hauling a yacht, four kayaks, and a dozen mountain bikes couldn't be bothered to slow down on a blind corner. But at this point I had 500km of experience, a bag of Sour Cherry Blasters, and my screaming pink cycling jersey to get through the day safely. It was relatively quiet early Wednesday morning, and the beautiful ride turned out to be one of my favourite sections.

I took a detour on Redrooffs Road after Half Moon Bay to get off the highway for a bit. It was scenic enough, but the elevation was stupid. I hadn’t walked Gavin up that many hills since Thetis Lake Regional Park. Things started to go downhill from there. Metaphorically of course, as the hills only went up. 

Traffic volume started to increase at Sechelt, where I stopped for candy. The Cherry Blasters picked me right up, but not even a sugar rush can hold off eight days of fatigue indefinitely. The last few kilometers to Gibsons weren't exactly painful, but they were not pleasant. My faith in Google Maps’ elevation estimates might never recover. My bike chain was dry and squeaking, but I thought if I could just make it to my destination and offload my gear I could zip back into town and find a bike shop and get some lubricant. In reality, once I finally arrived at Mike's place, after 83km and over 1400m of elevation gain, I couldn't bring myself to take the hill down into Gibsons again. "Can olive oil work on bike chains" is not my proudest Google search, but weary, smelly, and perpetually damp cyclists are nothing if not humble. And the answer is no, not really, but olive oil is better than nothing.

Thankfully Persephone Brewing was within walking distance. My healing began with an order of spring rolls and a rye farmhouse ale.

That evening, as I settled in to my tent, I heard the soft whisper of my couch back at home. The call of the bahn mis at Chickpea that Brian said were amazing. The whinny of my stupidly sensitive horse on Red Dead Redemption 2 Online. The sweet yet powerful purr of Alley Cat, my gentle golden nugget. I was a two hour ride away from completing the biggest physical achievement of my life. A year ago running 5k was a stretch, and biking 11km to Richmond was a chore. I wanted to do an ambitious cycle tour to see if I could. And I can. There’s nothing particularly special about me, or most people, but that doesn’t have to stop us from getting shit done. 

Day 9 was a quick ride down to the ferry, then a hilly ride through West Van on Marine Drive. Once I hit the Lions Gate Bridge, I knew I was home free.

Coming home after 9 days and 590km of a door-to-door solo cycle tour was incredibly satisfying.

Almost as satisfying as seeing my number one precious sweet potato again! 

This sweet pup is my number two. 

Maybe one day I’ll do a proper Google Maps route but this is the general idea.

Highlight(s): the views on Salt Spring, Sokka’s beautiful kitten face, the ride up from Nanaimo, the white sandy beaches at Savary, the peaceful ferry ride from Saltery, the surprisingly doable hills after Earl's Cove, the pics of my niece and nephew smiling on their first day back at school, the beers and food at Persephone, the moment I realized that I absolutely crushed every part of my ambitious plan. Lowlight: Thetis Lake Regional Park. Gold star: Gavin. This humble, unassuming, steel frame hybrid has been a true star, solid and dependable. I love this bike. I love what we can do together. Runner up: The weather. Almost perfect. Runner up: My legs. You know what you did.

#sunshinecoast #savaryisland #cycletour #cycletouring #camping #bc #british columbia #canada

[slasherscream]

hey, i was wondering if you could do a tatum x reader x sidney head canon but in a platonic way? i love these ladies but i daydreaming constantly about how amazing it would be to be besfriends with them, love it if you could do it with black fem!reader also love your blog, you’re such a lovely person ❤️

A/N: *insert me too?? the fuck. gif* you are the most valid person on earth-

   sidney prescott x black!reader x tatum rileyft. platonic best friends ! platonic best friends !

                                                     ——————– 

There’s a certain point of popularity that you reach where you no longer actively look for new friends because people are typically just trying to get close to you for some hot gossip or a boost on the social ladder. Tatum and Sidney have long since reached this point of popularity.

Even if they hadn’t who needs a ton of friends when you have friends of quality? They’re best friends for life. Really and truly, and not just in name.

There’s an exception to every rule of course and their exception happened to be you. You came along and changed everything. 

A few hang-outs a week and sitting together at lunch become running up phone bills and dragging you along everywhere they go no matter what they’re about to get up to. 

Going to all of Tatum’s soccer games and cheering for her louder than anyone else. For a really important game you painted your face the team’s colors. It’s that serious.

Tatum laughed till she cried when she saw you but no one’s ever taken her playing sports that seriously before (she’s a girl playing on girl teams against other girl teams, isn’t she? what’s to take serious about that?). She keeps a picture of you two on her dresser of that first time. You, with your pretty brown face painted blue and yellow, her team’s colors; and her, sweaty but triumphant and with an arm wrapped proudly around your shoulders. It’s one of her favorite pictures. 

Sidney loves having deep conversations or long, understanding silences. Both of which she can’t always get from Tatum. Whenever you provide her with either you can see the effect your company has on her. Her face goes soft with released tension and her smiles come easily the rest of the day. 

Shopping with them is an ordeal. It’s super fun but it takes forever because they (mostly Tatum) never want to stop. You and Sidney can coax her away from a sale only with the promise of a cinnamon bun from the food-court.

If Tatum picks something out for you it will look good. She knows what colors your skin pops in? Knows what brings out all your best features? Knows your size by heart and can figure out what that translates to in every brand known to man (why don’t women’s clothes have sizes that make sense? we’ll never know!) 

Sidney picks her outfits without fanfare (or help        “thanks but no thanks, tatum”) but is perfectly happy to hype the two of you up for the fashion show Tatum makes you put on. You’ve all shared many laughter and fashion filled afternoons.

Watching movies together and coming up with some ridiculous thing you’d do for an actor/actress you think is cute.              tatum: to kiss winona ryder i’d drink …. the hottest lava on earth              you: and with what lips would you kiss her with post lava?               sidney: and since when has there been cold lava?               tatum: fuck you both-

Tatum carries around a foundation that’s your exact shade for any make-up emergencies you might have. A make-up emergency is serious business and for her to do this is the equivalent of carrying around an epipen for someone with severe allergies. That’s love bitch! 

Sidney is a hugger but she didn’t know how much of her physical affection quota she got from her Mom until her Mom was gone. She didn’t realize she kept physical contact to a select (trusted) few until then because she got all the affection she needed at home. 

You give her a long hug after a rough day of reporters and gossips and she bursts into tears. Now whenever she looks on edge you come up behind her and just wrap your arms around her. She always melts into it. She’s literally this post.

It’s such a little thing but it means the world to her that you know she needs it and you always give it to her without her ever asking. When you have sleepovers she curls up close to you long before you two actually intend to sleep.

She asked you the first time if you minded how close she was but when you only pulled her closer and commented on the room being kinda chilly she grinned at you. Whenever either of you is feeling extra cuddly all you have to say is “I’m a little chilly.” and the other will drape themselves around you like a cloak. 

You three look out for each other viciously at parties. One time a boy you didn’t know came up to you with a drink and Tatum gave him a look that could have melted the skin from his bones. Sidney had to tell him to beat it before Tatum beat him. 

One time you guys turned on one of those bridezilla shows because you were bored and it caused Tatum to ask the brilliant question of “who’s gonna be who’s maid of honor?”……dear god-

If the answer from either of you isn’t her she will lose her mind and have a bitch fit!

“You want to be the maid of honor at both our weddings?” “Uhm —- yeah. Duh.” “Y/N, will you be my maid of honor just because of this?” “Sid I would be honored. Would you do me the honor of being mine?” “You joke now but you’ll see who’s laughing when neither of you lame-asses knows where to get a stripper-”

Tatum learned how to braid your hair because she didn’t think it was fair that you’d always help her get ready like a pro but she could never do much for you. Her favorite thing to do is two long french braids. She started just braiding your hair in general when she learned how much it cost to get it done. That’s money you could be spending on shopping trips with her??? 

The girl’s soccer team got underfunded one year and you and Sidney got together and did bake sales, car washes — anything you could think of to help. You got the whole school behind you two because you were so passionate. With everyone pitching in and helping the girl’s team wound up with better funding than the boys that year. 

You three wind up at the same college together and you get a cheap little apartment you can all afford and live together for the longest time. 

Heartbreaks and finals. Surviving on ramen until Sidney picks up a coupon hunting hobby so you don’t all die from malnutrition. Tatum flirting with the neighbors so they’ll carry your things for you while you try not to laugh when it works every time. Studying hard with Sidney and being grateful and exasperated when Tatum makes the two of you party even harder.

All the holidays spent together because you can’t make it back to Woodsboro in time but you start new traditions with one another that mean more than you can say. 

You’re away from home but rarely get home sick. It makes sense, really. You guys brought the most important parts of home with you: each other. 

                                                     ——————– 

#sidney prescott x reader #sidney prescott x reader x tatum riley #tatum riley x reader #Sidney Prescott imagine #tatum riley imagine #final girl x reader #slasher imagines #slasher x reader #can you IMAGINE having best friends like they??? ....bro....anon you are so valid

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 3

• I'm hoping that if I have this chapter out early enough (doubtful, because compiling and organizing my screenshots takes time, and my drafts often don't save which means there are times I will have to replicate whole paragraphs from scratch. But fingers crossed!), I might try and do revisits of the first book. I did four of those chapters last year, and I think now - when we're looking at some of the stories told to us in Book 1 from a new lens - is a good time to explore that first book again.

• I hope the read more issue is resolved by now. It made posting quite hard the last time. In the meantime these are the tags you can block: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• Thanks a lot to @pixieferry for her Hana playthrough, @thefirstcourtesan for her Drake playthrough screenshots and the Abhirio YouTube channel for the Maxwell playthrough screenshots. Not much of those are up, because of lack of space to put up the pictures and the fact that this particular chapter wasn't specifically LI centric.

• Title: Your Kingdom Awaits.

Alternative Title: Tell Me What's Gestating in My Womb Today, Cordonia! A Cordonian Ruby? An Autumn Glory? A Granny Smith?

• Three chapters in and I'm getting more and more baffled by this story by the day. There's stuff I like. Some of the characters I still love. I have fun looking at the little hints, the bits of symbolism, the callbacks. I love theorizing what we'll be doing next! But all of this needs to be glued together by a coherent storyline and this just isn't it.

• Even if we push aside the gross inequalities in balance (re: character development), there's still so much that just doesn't make sense. Why is there so much rush. Why is everyone in this country (and outside) so invasive and entitled over this one noble's child? Why are we doing such insane scales of prep over a process that is in itself is so unpredictable? Why am I learning about Cordonia's allies/potential enemies in such a vague and shoddy fashion? And most of all what kind of bullshit Royal Council is this???

• But I'll elaborate on all those questions later. For now let's move on to the chapter!

• If you didn't buy the corgi in Book 2, they ask you if you'd like to buy it now at the beginning of the chapter. Possibly that may affect the entry of the second corgi in some way? Idk. 

• Esther, the Queen of Cordonia is also still the queen of winging it. You'd think they'd have planned a look for her (esp given the amount of time they could spend on the train) and gotten her ready by the time they reached there, not scrambled around for an outfit the minute they reached Valtoria.

• The LI tells the MC that they're fixed an appointment with the best obstetrician they could find, and we will be going there to ask our preliminary questions plus get a check up. I was wondering if in Hana's case they would be going to a fertility specialist instead.

• In any case, Bertrand volunteers to help us with an outfit for the last time in a short while, because he's traveling to Texas to prepare for their wedding. (we're going there too, but later. I'm not looking forward to another round of Savannah-worship - possibly with an added side of Bianca-worship - no thank you).

• Bianca's ranch is called the Walker Ranch, after Jackson's last name. Why Jackson's?

• Our OOTD!

Electric blue with a gold belt and a black and white border on the neckline, accessorized with a necklace (I think it's pearls set in gold?) and a brooch pin in the shape of a crown.

I kinda like this one and knowing the way this team operates when it comes to outfits most of the time, I'm pretty sure the colour scheme was chosen on purpose. With this outfit, the MC is presenting herself in the national colours, with a tiny signifier of what her future role might be. Either as Queen or as mother of the future heir to the Crown. This is an outfit that would send a message during Liam's announcement, whether she is (symbolically) wearing that crown or not.

• I'm obviously not very comfortable with the implications that would go with that outfit (esp if she is not the Queen), but I can't deny it does its job.

• The MC can opt to go for either being poised, acting like a diva or being very casual in her approach. Whatever she does the crowd pretty much worships her.

•

So everyone except Liam has someone (media, a fan, common people) approaching them as a way of showing how famous and revered the entire group has become in Cordonia. Liam doesn't need one coz he's anyway getting his moment with his big speech in front of the Valtoria manor.

Drake - Donnie Brine from the CBC speaks to Drake, positioning him as a man of the masses, the person that the Cordonian people see as their representative. Drake is woefully unprepared and freezes, blurting out that "things are great" which probably might end up becoming a meme on Cordonian internet later. Random Cordonian Woman from Applewood saves him by confirming this statement even though her trees have yet to grow and the tax problems are pretty much making her life "not great".

Maxwell - Where are Jiro and Camellia from Applewood? I like little Marco and Valerie but I hope they're not the only kids PB is going to be showing every time they need to show children. Marco approaches Maxwell and the MC both to sign his copy of Maxwell's book, and Maxwell takes care to do a dramatic signature that will not "obscure the picture of his face". I'm giggling at that image.

Hana - Valerie approaches Hana with a handmade flower necklace, presumably with a pattern made from "the Lee family crest". Now either Lorelai's family in Cordonia have the same surname as Xinghai, or Xinghai got himself a house crest for some reason. Either way, to toss out a detail like that so casually (a family crest is something that passes down through generations, esp in noble families) without even thinking of the logistics of it...(when an entire book of yours has been dedicated to sigils and crests) is pretty lazy.

BUT. In good news this means that my longtime speculation that Hana's mother's house had flowers as part of their court of arms is correct! (I was also right about a couple other things, like Maxwell's ancestors and Liam's mother being alive when Olivia was brought to the palace. YAY! 😁)

• We now move on to Liam's public announcement. Which sounds kinda weird whichever way you look at it. A married Liam announces that he and his wife are on a mission to enjoy babymaking and a single Liam announces this:

(Screenshots from a Hana playthrough by @pixieferry)

I will translate what both Liams are saying into Cordonian:

Married Liam: We don't have an apple cinnamon bun in the oven yet, but we're definitely having fun kneading that dough nudge nudge wink wink.

Single Liam: I'm neither making apple buns nor kneading dough. I'll leave that to my friends the bun-making experts here. I'm just gonna park my butt outside the oven door along with the rest of Cordonia.

Sounds weird? You're welcome. It was meant to sound weird.

• Esther finally reunites with her corgi Joy! I wonder if at some point she'll meet up with her horse Celestia and red pandas Hansel and Gretel too xD

• Mara tells me safety checks have been done, but...it's Mara saying that, so I'm not sure I'm quite convinced. The alternative is Bastien, so...we're kinda screwed I guess.

• The group then discusses the future foetus, and Liam takes this opportunity to hint at their childhood history. You know what that means? DIAMOND SCENE!!

•

(Screenshots for Asian Liam from my playthrough, Black Liam from @pixieferry and White Liam from @thefirstcourtesan)

LOOK AT THE WEE LITTLE KIDDIES AND LIAM'S MOM OMG AAAAAA.

As far as I can tell, among the kids the sprites for all three Liams and Drake are very much new, and the rest come from variations and changes to different faces. Maxwell's face is a copy of Simon from THoBM (only the mouth is slightly different), Hana's has a lot of similarities to young Kenna in TCaTF, but with pigtails instead of tiny buns. Olivia's is a little harder to place but I think there are plenty similarities between hers and RoE Camellia's face. For Queen Eleanor they used Young Mary's (MC's mother) sprite from D&D in accordance to whichever Liam you chose. Perhaps the only Mary sprite not used here would be the brown/Indian one, because Liam's ethnicities mainly feature White, Black and Asian. She even wears Mary's opera outfit (that incidentally Mary also ended up wearing to her wedding lol).

• Somehow they forgot that Maxwell was supposed to be a cute chubby little hippo who was loved by his mother.

• I'd like for Black Liam to grow more hair on his head because the curls on his younger self are lovely 😍

• Since most of the childhood tales revolve around the experience of growing up in the palace, this build up to the diamond scene begins with the MC asking questions about each of the boys (Liam, Drake, Maxwell).

- Little Liam and His Crown: Liam claims he only wore those during state occasions, but Maxwell (who admittedly didn't see Liam as much as Drake did but saw him often nonetheless) saw him practically sleep in the thing, and Drake has pictures to prove it lol.

- Grumpy Drake: Maxwell and Liam agree on Drake becoming grumpier as he grew older, but disagree on what metaphors to use to describe it. Maxwell favours "scratchy bark on a secretly loveable tree", and Liam claims he is "whiskey maturing in its barrell". ("oh", I want to ask Drake, "so that's what they call 'old grain mash' these days?" 🤣 This is my revenge for him referring to wine as old grape juice back in Book 2). No prizes for guessing which metaphor Drake liked better.

- Banning Maxwell from Palace Rooms: Maxwell's lucky he has a king for a friend because apparently before Liam jokingly and unwisely decided to give the man a royal pardon Maxwell was banned from all the good rooms 😅

• Hana clearly hasn't lost her touch when it comes to epic savagery. "I imagined you guys like the Three Musketeers, only...less French". 😅😅

• This diamond scene is split into three parts. You have the fun 'adventures' of the little boys (and later Olivia) at the palace, split in between by a slightly more sombre tale of little Hana's loneliness. The narrative voice in all three is very much that of a child, and focuses on Liam's and Hana's imaginations, so as to make their childhood stories more real to us while still providing us background information about the country's recent history (the "recent history" bit doesn't apply to Hana, though, since she is in China at the time).

- Pirate Adventures at The Palace Courtyard: Liam, Drake and Maxwell pretend to be pirate kings, battling rivals on the palace courtyard. After rescuing Maxwell from being stuck on the branches of a tree, the trio decide to continue their adventures on the gardens that are his mother's brainchild, but are stopped by a palace guard. Liam is briefly saddened by this, but is comforted by Drake and Maxwell. The boys then decide to continue playing in the palace kitchens. This scene begins by focusing on the antics of the little ones, but is really about the changed atmosphere in the palace that the boys themselves were too young to notice at the time.

(We also find out which place in TCaTF the Beaumonts originated from, since young Maxwell refers to himself as a pirate from Panrion in both scenes that he is in *cue Lizzy looking very very smug because I've been saying the Beaumonts were from Panrion/someplace in Ebrimel since way back in Book 2*)

The MC has options to respond to this tale (either about whether they were always this naughty, or about the increased security in the palace). In response to her question about the three of them, the boys tell us that Liam was known for being a free spirit and would skip many diplomacy meetings before he even met the other two (again, Constantine, Liam was A CHILD). If you ask the question they want you to be asking, however, about the increased security in the palace, Drake and Maxwell will tell you the security wasn't as strict earlier, and Liam will explain that the royal family had recently received threats at the time, and his parents were a lot more tense and on-edge than usual. Either way, you either get to know a bit about the political atmosphere at the time, or realize that little Liam wasn't the heavily burdened one we met on that first night in New York.

- Pretend-Teatime with a Young Hana: Hana continues on this thread of conversation by focusing on the bond between the boys, commenting on how she never grew up with that kind of experience. To which Drake and Maxwell have these reactions:

@Drake, pls fall on a cactus.

@Maxwell. Honey. She said this to you yesterday. She's probably said this more than once. You've seen her parents!! Wtf kind of friend are you if you can't even take what she said seriously the first time?

@Hana pls get yourself better friends 😭

Like @callmetippytumbles said in her response to this scene, I have no patience for this kind of selective stupidity.

So Hana's scene is technically a call-back to something she once told the MC back in Book 1 Chapter 6, when they were on their way to the post-Derby tea party with Queen Regina. At the time, Hana spoke of her parents not allowing her toys because they thought them frivolous, and how she had to make do with whatever was lying around instead. We actually see this happen in reality here. We see her PoV of what her inanimate objects do, we see her practicing court etiquette on these objects with her tea set, and we see her leave space for her asshole mother even though Lorelai doesn't deserve that much respect or consideration. There is a lot to unpack in this scene and I want to do that in my General Thoughts section later on...but for now I'll just say that it broke my heart, and not just in an "oh poor Hana" way.

- The Attack from Lythikos: I love this sequence too, not only because it shows us Olivia, a younger Constantine and Liam's mother Eleanor, but because the narrative framing in itself alludes to what happened between Lythikos and the Capitol earlier through the pirate story. Liam and Olivia still speak in the language of their story, but the sequence actually plays out what happens in their real lives. Olivia attacks the pirates, but is left desolate, sword broken, at the end of it (just like her parents tried to, and died in the process - leaving an innocent Olivia alone without support). Liam offers her terms that would give her safety and protection, and in return, she asks to be Pirate Queen and for Drake's sword - which he reluctantly gives.

Constantine mistrusts Olivia and attempts to limit her natural abilities and instincts, but it is Liam's empathy, support and validation of her pain, that eventually makes her the steadfast ally that she becomes as an adult - not Constantine's paranoia. Had Liam followed Constantine's lead, the chances of Olivia falling into the trap of subscribing to her aunt's beliefs would have been much much higher, and Constantine would have found himself at the receiving end of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The narrative may also be implying how deep Eleanor's own impact on her son must be, long after her death, since the narrative frames him as adopting her way of dealing with situations often.

In any case the narrative allows us to see the children as they were before their individual tragedies changed them (except in Olivia's and Hana's cases - where they were still struggling to survive the situations they were in), and allows us to see what shaped them into the adults they are today.

The MC then gets to ask one of two questions: either why Constantine treated Olivia so badly, or about the arguments his parents were having. We learn from these that this incident was shortly after Liam became friends with her and his parents brought her to the palace (this references both Liam's conversation about Olivia to the MC in Book 1 Chapter 7, and Lucretia's complaints about Constantine "keeping Olivia hostage" in her diamond scene in Book 3).

• Possibly this may not be the only scene of its kind we will see. Possibly the next few may be Drake-centric, since we may actually meet Bianca in a few chapters. But these scenes may definitely have an impact on dialogue later, just like how learning of the assassination attempt in Drake's Italian Restaurant Scene and Eleanor's death in Liam's Fydelia Balcony Scene in Book 2 are referred to later (if bought) in the hospital scene with Constantine.

• In any case, we leave the past in the past (for now), and move towards Valtoria's throne room. Where we meet Penelope, just back from her first canine fashion show, Kiara who tells us she has everything kept under control (you always do boo 😍) and Madeleine who is all up our uterus.

• She mentions King Bradshaw from Auvernal and his "impossible to control" wife, then mentions a Queen Amalas immediately after without bothering to tell us where this person is from. WTF? At least tell me the name of her goddamn country if she's another person!! You'd just have to say Queen Amalas of ChickenFeetonia and I would understand.

• ...you're telling me the Queen of this country (in my playthrough) has barely looked at a map of the place she's ruling or checked out who rules what?? You're telling me that the Royal Communications Director is STILL going to give her a gazillion flash cards to read something that she could sum up in five minutes, at the very last minute? Bitch what have you been doing this entire time? Touching up your manicure??

•

@Penelope: No you're not.

@Kiara: STOP ENABLING HER, KIKI, AND GET YOURSELF BETTER FRIENDS.

@Madeleine: Pls fall on a cactus.

• Madeleine hasn't been here for even five minutes and already I've had enough of her entitled ass. "Little apple gestating in your womb"...just...I can't. Ugh. Get your nosy nose out of my oven!!

• Remember how I told you guys about how apple analogies may be used to denote fertility? (mostly because RoE spoke of this apple cutting ceremony and it was a very obvious indicator towards apple metaphors being used to describe pregnancy and childbirth).

• I facepalmed when Kiara agreed with her but she's also probably thinking "well see this is why they call me the smart courtier. I don't have to deal with this shit anymore and now you do" (she isn't wrong).

• WELL HELLO OLIVIA.

• She informs us that we're expected at the solarium. I have a solarium?

• Apparently it was Mara's honeymoon gift to us. More like her "sorry Bastien and I screwed up last book" gift, I'd say.

• So wait where was this roster Liam was speaking about in the last book's epilogue? I see one Cordonian noble and one Englishman who until my wedding wanted to have nothing to do with Cordonia, and who's now bleating "our country, our kingdom, we're under attack" like a panicking patriotic nanny goat.

• Why can I not see Emmeline here, who is clearly the expert on her duchy? (I mean like. Landon is nice, but I'd really like to see more women in this Council too). Also does Kiara's inclusion into the Council cancel out the presence of her father Hakim, who is a seasoned diplomat and might possibly have some really good suggestions for dealing with these foreign powers (and seriously he'd be a better option than Godfrey anyway).

• Now Esther has a suggestion! Let's see what it is...

• A royal ball, apparently. Which...given the company, I'm sure it probably would be appropriate but I'm pretty sure we'll need to have more than that in place. I'm pretty sure the people in this council should either be finding out whether the person making these suggestions knows anything about these issues or whether she is simply talking out of her ass. This was a problem last book as well. The MC rarely feels the need on her own to explore these situations more, is okay with just learning things last minute and rolling with it and has the same solution to everything. It's either tours or balls but very little actual exploration of the situation. (I mean there is even a point where she barely shows any empathy at Portavira - even though they're still reeling from a bunch of natural calamities - and thinks it's appropriate to tell them to come for her wedding anyway. No wonder Liam panicked and started giving her diplomacy lessons, stat!) I'd actually take the MC seriously if she were doing her research and her suggestions weren't so shallow and one-note.

• Hana is grinning and giving justifications like this suggestion makes sense. STOP. ENABLING. HER. HANA.

• I especially want to know what Liam's experiences with these dignitaries have been. Both last chapter and this one, I'm seeing him in a position where he is defiant and digging his heels into whatever ideas he is having, but I don't know the context yet and would like to make sense of that. From whatever I've read so far...Liam took the year following Leo's abdication to familiarize himself with taking the front seat in negotiations, and probably may have been familiar with this kind of situation and the kind of people involved even before he became Crown Prince. It makes me wonder how difficult negotiating with them has been, and I want to see why Liam is so done with these people, so fed up. We're missing some context here and I think learning at least a little more than these scraps would have been better for everyone.

• I like that they remember Kiara as the only one outside of the charmed six to get a seat in this council (Kiki deserves the best). I also liked how succintly she summed up Drake and Hana's points about what the heightened taxes are doing to the people as "a reminder that we're not just here for ourselves".

• I find the entire idea of Drake Walker being the sole commoner representative in the Council laughable, especially in a narrative where every other commoner barely has a face, hardly has a name, and almost never has a voice. A man who has spent a huge chunk of his life in a palace, and who I've hardly seen even interacting with a commoner in the story...I'm expected to believe he will have great insights on commoner issues?? Even in this meeting, it's Hana who does a better job explaining this situation (she's the one highlighting the tax issues) than he does. Then again this Council also somehow gave a seat to Duke Karlington - a man who literally never had Cordonia's best interests in mind last book, and who only ended up attending our wedding because we had to be brought in as family counselors to settle HIS family disputes (I mean lol Godfrey how can you call this wedding a disaster when it caused you to magically become so "patriotic"!)

For God's sake, I want to see other commoners on this council. I want people who are actually living these experiences highlighting their issues. This is an issue I have with the MC too. She started out a commoner herself a waitress who wouldn't even flinch at the sight of rats in a dumpster. For someone of that background and who has possibly lived under the worse circumstances than some Cordinians themselves, you'd think that she'd have questions and show interest in how the people who aren't owning lands and are regular individuals on the street live their lives, and whether things are okay for them. But she's so immersed in the world of nobility that she rarely ever even tries to come out.

• Before Liam takes into account everyone's points and comes to a conclusion, the MC has the opportunity to give them her opinion. She can either say that we can't trust anyone, which Godfrey agrees with, or that an alliance would be good for Cordonia, which Godfrey views as naive, OR (and I didn't expect to like this response but I actually do) that she's a waitress from the States, and wouldn't know all that much about this situation. To which there isn't much of a reaction as such, but that's kind of what seems different about this book compared to the others.

• Once the meeting is wrapped up, our LI and Maxwell/Hana whisper in a corner about a surprise they have in store, and take us upstairs to show us what it is. If you're marrying any of the other three, Maxwell is the one who has arranged and picked out themes and colour schemes for the nursery. If you're married to Maxwell, Hana takes over this role.

• Ooooh. New (I think!) baby music! Nice. Very lullaby-like.

• Every design has these basic components:

a crib with a pillow (which I think will be updated later)

a couch nearby, likely for comfort when the mother wants to breastfeed (the updated versions seem to have a footrest)

a table with a lamp

three empty frames (also to be updated. I'm guessing for one of those "my first hand/foot impression" kind of thing and maybe even photoshoots etc)

a ceiling lamp/chandelier

a hook, also on the ceiling.

The two updated versions have footrests, updated lamps and ceiling decorations, additional carpet and customized designs (except for the crib and the pictures and the hook, which I think will be updated later). The Royal Glam theme is all reds and golds, very luxurious and very Valtoria. The Fairytale Forest theme has more whimsy, with bears, foxes, leaves, flowers and apples on the wallpaper, wood paneling, a beautiful golden lamp. Very pretty. Both seem to reference the MC's journey in TRR: her being either a Royal and the closest thing to one, and her journey being very fairytale-like (remember, the same logic was used for Hana's "something blue" gift for the MC's - where she views her as Cinderella).

• Only problem is...who exactly buys a nursery before they have a baby! Especially considering how unpredictable pregnancy and childbirth can be.

• We now meet Dr Ramirez for an appointment. I'm not sure about her suggestion that prenatal vitamins etc they will deal with after she has conceived. I know a number of people who did pre-pregnancy appointments and vitamins and folic acid were on the top of the list of things they'd start a routine with.

• As expected, all the appointments go roughly the same, with the usual answers to the usual questions (one about sushi, another about morning sickness and a last one about potential complications). The MC and LI are in the clear, and can start preparing - but apparently shouldn't stress. LMAO. Thank you doctor, I'm sure that will be easy to do in this country 😂

• Hana's goes differently, and it's clear this doctor's visit was primarily written to address her situation with the MC. The tests go differently, the suggestions given to them are different, the questions the MC asks (one about choosing donors, when they should start, and who should carry the child). The bombshell that immediately follows this is:

Wow. Seriously. Wow. You couldn't find a more temporary reason for why the MC has to be the one conceiving? It has to be something that would make her overall ability to conceive almost impossible?? (and this we find after one test? No follow ups?) I recall someone putting up/reblogging these screenshots with a caption about how the narrative pretty much took Hana's entire ability to conceive from her, and it's so true - and so disturbing when you place it in the context of how they've dealt with her issues so far (more on this later).

• In Hana's playthrough, she struggles with implications of this news, but constantly tries to veer the focus back to "well at least one of us can is able to have this baby". Twice, she is shown moving away from her pain to ask about the other possibilities for the MC.

• Anyway...we now move to the next morning, when the couple wake up to bad news - and it's concerning the pictures taken during their honeymoon. Given that Maxwell/Hana is holding a magazine when they tell the MC they found out who was responsible...I wonder if it's one of our news outlets. Or whether it's a foreign media rep.

• So I guess this complicates things at our Ball, since we're already on thin ice and this news would have spread to those other dignitaries as well. So we're going to have to deal with whatever implications come with those pictures (perhaps a spin on the royal gang having fun while Cordonia is in a national crisis? Who knows. It would be hypocritical of Cordonians and people from other neighbouring countries to judge the couple over the babymaking that they themselves were enforcing on these two!)

• In any case...royal ball this week. And in the universe of PB's stories that usually means some shit will go down.

General Thoughts and Observations:

• The funny thing about the MC's responses now is that her heightened position now seems to allow her to get away with a lot more than she used to. Now if she gives a joke response, the media and people laugh with her rather than at her. If she is a diva, the crowd will lap it up. I'm guessing what the book is trying to imply is that these are the people she has won over and doesn't exactly need to worry about, and now the ones she will have to convince are from other, more powerful countries - ready to back Cordonia into a corner anytime.

• As you can tell by now, I absolutely loved the childhood sequences. They sounded like children, most of the narrative lines up with what was already said in the previous series, and there were some interesting narrative devices used here.

• I think the third sequence especially drives home the point about what Liam did right, even as a young boy, and what Constantine refusing to look past Olivia's lineage to see her as an individual could have cost him. Constantine's ruthlessness and lack of genuine care for his bonds/friendships (eg. Hakim) had him in a position where he was unable to relate to anyone beyond his own tiny bubble (even his own wife Regina was taking countermeasures to make the best of his horrid plan), and had him make decisions that did more harm than good. For instance, take what he did to the MC, for no fault of her own other than that he didn't think she'd be a good Queen. Not only was what he did utterly disgusting, but it also would have made his own family a subject of shame in the country (which is why Constantine practically begs her never to expose him, because then Liam would be paying the price). Imagine what would have happened if Constantine didn't agree with Liam and perhaps Eleanor, never brought Olivia to the palace, and Liam had never shown her his constant support. Liam's genuine empathy in this case pretty much ensured the safety of his own line.

• I also love the implications of that sequence. Constantine is so wrapped up in his fear that he tries to break what Olivia considers most precious (Zenobia the sword in this case, but this could allude to her parents' deaths and later, her possible marriage to Liam at his Coronation). Liam attempts to fill that gap by taking her in, caring for her, and giving her the tools to continue being the Lythikos fighter she has always been.

• There are a few TCaTF references in the palace scenes: Maxwell mentions Panrion twice, and Olivia calls her sword "Zenobia" in honour of her historical hero (she still speaks of Zenobia with something akin to worship during the Winter Festival in Lythikos).

• Olivia's dress is also modelled on Zenobia's, with the same colour and bodice embroidery. In fact most of the clothes are very similar to their adult garments: Drake still wears denim, Maxwell favours dark colours (still should have been chubby though), Liam's clothes are similar to his casual wear minus the ascot, and Hana wears pink, with flower designs on the skirt.

• What I like most are the narrative voices for both Liam and Hana, who are the ones narrating these stories, and how rooted in their imaginations the scenes themselves sound. But there are significant, heartbreaking differences in how we see their imaginations play out:

Here are a few samples of narration I've managed to save from Liam's PoV. Notice how Liam and his friends are so into their little game that they find adventure in everything? Notice the language they use to describe themselves and what they are doing? Once-defiant topiaries shaking in fear at their antics. "Liberating" chocolate tarts. "Conquering" the upper floors. These boys are playing out their dreams and showing us the kind of men they would want to be. The heroes. The victors. The ones everyone looks at with awe and reverence.

This is also not a story Liam is creating alone. Drake and Maxwell happily join in, sink into their characters and display their heroics alongside him. Olivia also joins in and holds her own, and when Liam's father tries to break her spirit, Olivia shows Liam her trust and faith in him by using the language of the game.

On the other hand, here is what the narration technique in Hana's tea scene looks like:

There is a lot to unpack here. A lot. There is perhaps more in this one scene of Hana's than there is in all of Book 3, where she was pretty much pushed to the sidelines.

We were told in Book 1 that Hana had to get creative because she wasn't allowed toys. This was told to us in a rather matter-of-fact way, by a person who was normalized in this way of life and who hadn't yet realized just wrong her upbringing was or how damaged her self of self was. It's perhaps easy to forget this bit of dialogue if you were reading it for the first time because at the end of the day it's spoken of without much gravity.

It's when you see it play out in front of you, in little Hana's voice, from an adult Hana who will now view this entire sequence very, very differently, that the tragedy of it all really hits you. At such a young age she is forced to make do with the little she has: the little she has in terms of things to play with, the little she has in terms of relationships. What the MC says after that sequence is half-right, it's sweet how Hana used her imagination in spite of her parents' rules and strict lifestyle. But what that misses is the burden experiences like that would place on a child in her earliest, more formative years. What stand out to me the most in this sequence are these:

- The most obvious: the use of a 'tea party' to teach herself etiquette and diplomacy. In the present, Hana tells the group that "a lot of what I learned about courtly negotiations, I learned from the tea table". This is the level Hana chooses to focus on after telling her tale, to soften the blow of the story itself.

- The fact that despite her mother's treatment of her, Hana still leaves space for Lorelai. Still wants to believe the best of her, still wants her involved in her life. Lorelai denies her her support and comfort, which is the initial layer to her injustices against Hana. In a lot of ways, even now - Hana is still leaving space for Lorelai, giving her chances to improve, trying to educate her on respecting her boundaries better. It's a long, exhausting process, and Lorelai doesn't deserve the many chances Hana keeps giving her, but Hana is also a person who struggles to completely cut off from the people in her life, controlling and emotionally abusive though they may be.

- At the end of the day, the objects she is giving a life and a personality to, are inanimate objects used for other purposes. Not toys, not real friends. Every last one of them. Miss Doily is kind and caring, Princess Sinckerdoodle is jealous and gives a damn about etiquette (I like how you can see allusions there to Olivia and the MC in the Bakery Ball dialogue!). But they're essentially all objects that cannot move the way her narration describes them as moving. Even dolls and toys, inanimate though they are, are made for the express purpose of allowing a child to participate in pretend play. They can be given a voice, their limbs can be moved, the child can easily turn such a space into an active space with the use of her toys. The doily, the napkin, the sock...these are things Hana will have very little actual control over. They will not be able to move the way she wants them to, do the things she wants them to. Everything has to be happening in her head and there is very little outlet for her other than the few things she has at hand (a similar example of of Hana using scraps we will also find in Book 2, where she draws whiskers on a rock to replicate a toy mouse).

Look again, at the differences in the way Liam narrates his tale and how Hana narrates hers. Liam's is also a fantasy, also uses inanimate objects. But supporting him in building this imaginary universe are his friends, and the parents who both don't stop him from immersing himself in this imaginary world, and have a safe normal (for now) life to return to when those "adventures" are over. On the other hand, Hana has to do the heavy work...in every way. She has to imagine not only the background of what is happening, but also what the objects in front of her are like, what they will do, how they will interact with her, how they will interact with each other.

If I had to replicate such a scene into film, the loneliness of this sequence would perhaps hit harder. A large, empty room. A tiny girl. A tea set and several strange items - and none of them actually move. She is sitting alone, in the dim light, in the silence, talking to these objects that will never respond so she pretends they do, just to chase away that yawning, aching feeling of not having a single friend. All she gets in return is silence. All she finds in front of her is space, and more space. The kind of space that could swallow a child in its emptiness.

And in the center, is a seat left empty. For a mother who doesn't believe her daughter is worth the time.

I think there will be very few who will appreciate the strength it takes to survive a lifetime of that, and that's sad.

• The little Hana sequence reminds me of the animated film Cinderella, particularly in how the main character uses dreams and imagination as an escape from her life of drudgery and the abuse she faces daily. Particularly the song "Sing Sweet Nightingale", where Cinderella's dull world bursts into vivid colour through the soap bubbles that emerge from the washing bucket.

It's a beautiful, soft, almost surreal little sequence...but when you strip it all down to its basics, what you're essentially seeing is a woman so abused by her family and so trapped in this life she does not deserve, that she has to grasp at straws to find joy. Or in this case, soap bubbles.

What Hana faces in her home is perhaps a little more similar to Rapunzel's situation in Tangled than Cinderella's, but there are definite similarities in the way both characters use their imaginations to soothe and comfort themselves. She is forced into a situation where her imagination - and these things that can't respond to her - are all she has, and the only ways she can keep herself safe and happy. That's way too big a burden for a child so young to bear.

• I wonder if there will be more than the memories. Perhaps documents, news clippings, research material that the MC can use to dig further into what's going on in this country. It's possible, but it's also possible that memories will entirely be how we unravel this mess. I was speaking to @thefirstcourtesan the other day and she mentioned that Bianca and Bastien would both be pretty good sources for finding out more - Bastien, after all, had a lot of respect for the second queen and was close to Jackson, and Bianca would have heard certain things from her husband or witnessed something at the very least (and if they were friends, that angle too). I probably would add Lucretia and maybe Anton (if we see them and if they cooperate), Bertrand or someone new who knew Bartamely (if we can find out more about the Beaumont house that would be lovely!), the Lees, and...Francesco? (I still haven't forgotten that Bertrand mentioned him as being a friend of Liam's mother). I also want to see what new information Olivia got from the last time she did her research on any hidden deals or laws that could endanger the kingdom. There are quite a few possibilities in terms of what we could find and how it can be presented, so I'm looking forward to that. This scene was a good start.

• Having said that, this was something they should have been addressing the previous book. If they hadn't spent so much of their focus on all the wrong things, we wouldn't have as much ground to cover as we do now. And I'm not sure they've learned their lesson enough that we will not see the same mistakes repeated this time.

• Why is the system in place to inform and update the MC on what's happening so poor this time. At least earlier, we'd have a fairly good idea of what would be happening next, even if some important stuff was done last minute. Now the explanations themselves are poorly formed and done without proper thought on whether the MC/readers might understand what's going on or not. It doesn't look good on the story, nor does it look good on those characters esp the MC. This is stuff she could have maybe gotten away with as a suitor. But now she is Duchess/Queen, and an influential figure. What looked good in her days as a suitor won't look so good on her now.

• The Royal Council could be a way forward - for the nobility and royalty-heavy narrative to something that shows us more perspectives from the people who really form the backbone of this country - the commoners who actually populate Cordonia's lands and duchies, whose hard work likely keeps the economy running. Just one Drake isn't adequate for that kind of representation - not when he very rarely addresses their issues in the first place. Please tell me there will be more in that Council because the Council as it stands is in no way an improvement on the status quo.

• I've said more than enough about how bizarre and downright OOC Liam sounds, but I do think we should not ignore the context - the fact that every single individual involved is making these demands of the MC and expecting her to save their country through her child without really checking if she has basic knowledge or other resources in place (such as information about the rulers she is meeting). That includes the LIs. It's very easy to make just a character or two a convenient scapegoat, but let's not forget that there isn't a single person in this entire narrative that is bothering to examine the implications. Not a single.

• What really got me angry...was the Hana doctor sequence. Maybe two books ago it would have just hurt - but more on the level of "it hurts to see Hana like this but I have hope for her". Hope that she would have the space to grieve something she had lost before she could ever even have it, hope that the narrative would validate her pain and encourage her healing. But I can't even hope for that anymore.

This is a very very painful, complicated situation to put a person in. And yes, sometimes those are things you want to talk about and finding out you can't have children when you've always wanted to have them is a very real, very difficult situation - and there is a lot you can explore in terms of how a person with these conditions would feel. But the thing is...Hana has already been on the receiving end of multiple tragic storylines. I have already seen enough and more of her in pain. What I'm not seeing is a good - or even adequate - payoff that validates her painful journey and allows for a release of those emotions. I'm constantly seeing more tragedy, less triumph. I'm not seeing enough satisfactory resolution to those many many issues, and I've spent three books just watching her hurt be brushed aside both by the people who bully her AND the people who are supposed to be her friends (let's be real, they're doing it even now). And now is supposed to be a good time to pile up another difficult situation on her???

• Whenever Hana has been forced into situations that hurt her, her emotions and thoughts have always been pushed to the sidelines - unless and until it was to elevate the MC to a pedestal in Hana's eyes. Hana has rarely - if ever - been given the space to speak out against injustices done to her, has rarely been allowed to have an opinion on people who have harmed her.

When the narrative should have been validating what Madeleine put Hana through, they opted to create sympathy for Madeleine instead...and had her completely minimize what she did to Hana ("I'm sure Hana will be willing to let bygones be bygones").

When the narrative should have been allowing her to discover what her sexuality was, they opted not to talk about it at all. They opted to make her MC-sexual instead. Even with the "alternative LI" they planned for her (*pukes*), they focused more on Madeleine's feelings than Hana's.

When the narrative should have allowed her the space to explore what her parents did wrong and arm her against their faulty arguments about her being the "delicate flower" who cannot survive without them, the writers opted to push her into a 'solution' that was still centered around her usefulness, not her emotional state. Her 'happy ending' with her parents involves constantly educating them on how to treat her with respect, a suffocating, draining process for a child with her background.

When the narrative should have - at least - given her a good wedding, after showing us what dreams she had for it, a wedding where she was treated like a bride, not a bridesmaid, her writers did exactly the opposite. She is more skilled than the MC yet it is the MC that gets the duchy. She is the creative one who comes up with the polo moves yet it is the MC that gets the credit. She is the one that didn't have a chance to fully plan her own wedding the way she wanted earlier, yet the same MC still treats her like her wedding planner rather than a bride. In not one of these situations is she ever allowed to vent about or even speak of what this is doing to her.

Maybe they will give her a chance to explore this difficult journey, maybe they won't. But how dare they push another tragic, difficult (to her) truth such as this, when they have barely allowed her to voice discontent or pain on a host of other issues!

Piling more pain on top of the pain a character already has, isn't going to make your character better developed. Allowing them the space to feel and show those feelings to others will. Thinking of worthy resolutions to those issues, will. If you want to be fair to Hana, center her in her story. Expand on her origins. Focus on story not skills. And validate her pain goddammit!!

• Sigh. Until next time, folks.

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #drake walker #olivia nevrakis #trr kiara #trr penelope #trr madeleine #bertrand beaumont

[imagine-loki]

Yes Mistress

TITLE: Yes Mistress CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 29 AUTHOR: angryolwet ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine after a heated argument with Thor, Loki turns himself into a woman out of spite.  RATING: Mature/Explicit NOTES/WARNINGS: NSFW, This is a F/F BDSM relationship. If that’s not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. The events in this fic take place before the first Thor movie.

I AM SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOO SO LONG TO UPDATE!!! I meant to post at my usual time but I got very sick at the end of last month and ended up with vertigo for a few weeks as well. If any of you have ever had it, you know reading a computer screen is the last thing you want to do. Not unless you’ve got a bucket handy.

*****Trigger Warnings!!! This chapter deals with descriptions of child abuse and shitty parenting, (not Odin’s for once) and those parts are contained within the asterisks below.*****

You don’t super need to read that part for the chapter to make sense if it’s a sensitive subject for you, but it will give you an insight into Sanna’s family dynamics and those will play into the overall arc of this fic. Yes, there is an arc. And a plot. Despite my best efforts.

Kanelbullar - twisted cinnamon buns

Also on AO3

Slowly, Sanna came back. She felt the softness of the blanket and the sensation of someone stroking her face before her eyes opened.

“Can you hear me Pet?” Loki asked softly.

“Yes Mistress,” Sanna answered dreamily, smiling up at her.

“My good girl. Our meal has arrived. Do you think you can sit up for me?”

Sanna eased herself up and shivered as the blanket slipped down. She pulled it back up and looked at her Mistress.

“It’s alright Pet. You can bring the blanket with you. It’s time to eat.”

Loki got off the bed and stood up, holding out a hand. Sanna took it, wobbling a little when she stood. Loki held her until she was steady, rubbing her back in small circles as they left the bedchamber.

“Thank you Mistress,” Sanna said as she wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself.

“You’ll be warm soon Pet,” Loki tucked a loose tendril of hair behind Sanna’s ear. “You used up a good deal of energy during your edging. Eating will help.”

“Um, Mistress? Before we eat I need to–” Sanna broke off, poking a hand out from the blanket and pointing across the sitting room.

“Of course, Pet.”

Sanna headed towards the bathing room to use it’s facilities while Loki sat on the divan to inspect the contents of the covered dishes on the table. She had just started cutting slices off a rolled joint of spit roasted mutton when Sanna came back out, wrapping the blanket snugly around herself again.

“That was quick,” Loki remarked when she sat down next to her.

“I was inspired, Mistress. The bathing room is rather cool, even with the shielding up.” She rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them.

Loki reached out and took her Pet’s hands in hers.

“You are chilled,” she began to rub Sanna’s hands between her own. “Shall I light the fire? I never notice the cold myself, though I’ve heard Thor whine about it enough. You’d think we were on campaign in Jotunheim instead of camping in the forests on a hunt.”

The image of Prince Thor covered in snow and icicles made Sanna giggle.

“I’m alright Mistress. Truly.” Sanna took back her now warm hands and started making up her Mistress’s plate, cutting slices of bread for both of them. “I believe you are right and I just need to eat something. And it has been raining on and off since midday,” she looked out at the damp night and shivered a little under the blanket. “The weather can’t seem to decide if we’re in spring or summer.” The gentle afternoon showers of Garth’s prediction had given way to a cold, soaking rain once the sun had set.

Loki made a face. “All too soon it will be summer and nothing but heat, heat, and more heat.” She loathed the thought of summer, but it did give her an idea. “One day, we should go riding to one of the shaded pools that hide deep in the royal forest. Mmm… Stripping down and diving into fresh, cool water. Tell me Pet, can you ride? Or swim?”

Sanna paused from buttering the bread she’d just cut and turned to her Mistress.

“Hmm. Do you know, I don’t think I've ever been on a horse in my life. Although I do have a vague memory of trying to ride a goat once when I was very small. I remember being frustrated because it wouldn’t hold still long enough for me to get on…” Sanna paused, fiddling with the butter knife. “No. I’m sure I haven’t. We didn’t use them on the farm and none of the neighbors were horse breeders. We did have a rather old and rather surly grey pony that Old Frederick would use to pull the cart when he went up to the manor house for supplies. He was the only person in this realm that animal tolerated, it would bite everyone else that came near.” She resumed her task.

“And I could swim as a child, Dagna saw to that. I haven’t had much chance to since I left our house to serve Lady Audney. There was a wide, slow moving river not far from our farm. I used to go and sit in the shelter of a large tree on it’s banks whenever–” Sanna broke off.

“Whenever what Pet?” Loki paused and looked over. She could see her Pet was upset by the memory.

Sanna chose her next words carefully and blew out a breath.

“Whenever I’d run out of the house. It seemed like everyday I’d be scolded by our mother for one thing or another. Mostly for not getting my chores done properly. She would never let anyone be idle,” she paused and swallowed. Composing herself.

*****

Her mind was flooded with the memories of repeating tasks over and over again until they were done to her mother’s satisfaction. One particular memory –one she’d tried very hard to forget– came suddenly to mind. A memory of scrubbing the stone floor of their house one winter for almost the entire day. It was just before Yule. Her mother had been perpetually unsatisfied with her efforts, even ‘accidentally’ spilling things on the floor for her to clean up. Sanna’s back had ached. Her knees were bruised and her knuckles had cracked and bled. Her hands were numb from the water that had gone cold and she kept dropping the big scrubbing brush, making it clatter on the stones and drawing her mother’s attention to her.

When Dagna had come in from tending the animals outside and saw what had been going on, she’d been furious. Sanna would never forget the sound of her sister slapping their mother’s face and the horrible words they screamed at each other. Sanna had never heard her sister raise her voice in anger to anyone before. She had hidden under the table, curled on her side to make herself as small as possible until the row was over. The bucket she’d been using to scrub the floor had been knocked over near her at one point, but she’d been too afraid to move. She’d stayed still as the freezing water soaked her dress and hair. Wet, cold, and filthy. Hands pressed to her ears, sobbing, trying to drown out the noise. She still hated the sound of angry shouts and raised voices to this day.

Eventually their mother had left the house to go tell their father about what her sister had done and said. While she was gone, Dagna had coaxed Sanna into coming out from under the table. She’d filled the big bathing tub by the fire with warm water and and had helped her get into it, washing her gently and rubbing her sore back. Then her sister had helped to get her into a clean night dress and wrapped her in a blanket. Dagna applied a salve to the cracks on Sanna’s hands before feeding her and putting her to bed.

The whole time Sanna had been terrified and started at every sound, thinking it was their mother returning. She knew her sister must have been punished terribly for striking their mother– it was all Sanna’s fault– but she couldn’t remember how or what had happened for nearly the rest of that winter. At the end of the following spring Sanna had left the house to work for Lady Audney.

But her Mistress didn’t need to know any of that. Or that her mother’s 'scolding’ was usually accompanied by a blow of some kind. Sanna’s pride and her fear would never let her tell her sister, let alone her Mistress. She’d promised herself all those years ago that she would stay silent and do better, no matter what. Never to complain and create more trouble. She wasn’t about to break that promise now. And besides, it was over and done with and would probably just upset her Mistress.

*****

“When it became too much, too heavy to bear, I would run out of the house. No matter what direction I ran in, I always seemed to end up by the big tree near the river. Eventually Dagna would come and find me. Once my tears were dry, she’d take me back. Sometimes we’d go swimming in the river first if it was warm enough. She wanted me to know what to do in case I got too close to the bank and fell in.”

Loki’s face was unreadable as she said solemnly, “I would so very much like to meet your sister one day. It seems she was the only source of happiness or tenderness in your childhood.”

“Oh no Mistress! Not the only source. Our father was quite kind, when he could spare time for us. The farm keeps him very busy, though I now suspect some of that work is to keep him out of the house and away from mother. In the summer he would take us fishing at the river– I mean Dagna and me, Mother hated the river– and we’d laugh and scream and splash each other once the three of us were done hauling in the nets.” Sanna smiled at the memory. “We’d walk home smiling and laughing, soaking wet with that day’s catch.”

She was eager to tell happier memories, she’d had no one to tell them to since she’d left Lady Audney. Marit was sweet, but she had no interest in any form of rural life and had quickly changed the subject whenever Sanna had mentioned her time in the country side.

“I remember one time, Father took me with him on a trip to a neighboring farm. The man kept bees and we went to collect a big crock of honey in exchange for some of our hay. I must have been very young. Probably around the same time I tried to ride the goat. Father lifted me up into his lap and kept me from falling off as he drove us over there and back. He even let me have a spoonful of honey on the way home and made me promise not to tell Mother.”

Sanna looked at her Mistress from under her lashes. “That’s where my taste for it comes from. It’s always been a sweet, secret treat.”

“Mmm… Perhaps I should keep a small jar of it here and let you lick it off me as a reward for your obedience?” Loki purred.

Her Pet blushed a bright red and squirmed on the divan while whispering, “I wouldn’t object if you offered it in any form, Mistress.”

Loki had finished cutting up the meat and divided it between their plates.

“Good to know. Open.” Loki popped a piece of the mutton into Sanna’s mouth.

“Mmm… This is almost as good as Dagna’s. She uses garlic in the dredge.”

“Alright. Now I must meet your sister.”

They both burst into laughter. Once the plates were ready, Loki pulled Sanna over to straddle her lap and tucked the blanket around her. Holding up a bite of meat to her Pet’s lips, Loki asked absently, “Perhaps I shall have Brynhild create a robe for you? Would you like one Pet? In gold and sapphire blue silk, I think? Jewel tones seem to suit you.”

Chewing and swallowing the meat gave Sanna time to think. She offered her Mistress one of the roasted vegetables pieces from her plate and said, “I will wear anything you wish me to, Mistress. I’ve never had one before.”

“I suspect there are a lot of things you’ve never had before, and I mean to give them to you.” Loki promised solemnly, making her Pet blush and duck her head.

“Now Pet, tell me.” Loki held up more food to Sanna’s mouth. “How was your day?”

They fed each other. Sanna spoke of meeting Garth and being reminded of how much she loved planting things and watching them grow. How far she had gotten through the play her Mistress had recommended and what she thought of it thus far. Her initial nerves at being summoned to tea with the Allmother and her relief and joy at finding her Mistress’s mother to be kind and attentive. Loki listen to it all with rapt attention, asking questions and laughing where it was appropriate until the meal was finished.

_________________________________________________________

“So you got on well with my mother then, Pet? Not frightened of her anymore?” Loki teased popping the last bite of her kanelbullar into her mouth and licking her sticky fingers before wiping them on a damp cloth.

Sanna, slightly indignant, finished her own and sucked at her fingers as she replied, “Well, she is the queen after all. And I wouldn’t say I was afraid of her so much as afraid of disappointing her.”

She wiped them off and stood up, gathering up the used plates and cutlery before refilling her Mistress’s goblet and her own with wine and getting comfortable again. She leaned against her Mistress and tucked her feet up under the blanket on the divan. Sanna wasn’t chilled any longer, but the material was soft and felt wonderful against her skin. Loki wrapped her arm around her Pet, pulling the girl close and put her own feet up on the table, long pale legs exposed. She used her seidr to send the uneaten food and dirty plates back to the kitchen. They sat in a comfortable silence, sipping wine.

After a moment or two, Sanna spoke. “The Allmother is so kind. I confess, I do want her to like me. Oh did I tell you, I mentioned to her that I had a wish to improve my stitching and she’s promised to have one of her handmaidens teach me. And I’m to come to tea with her again in a three days, if you can spare me that is.” Sanna looked at her Mistress with pleading eyes.

Loki sighed and toyed with a tendril of her Pet’s hair that had escaped it’s plait, wrapping it around her fingers. “Oh, I suppose I can get by without you for one afternoon.”

Sanna leaned up and kissed Loki’s cheek and settled back down against her. “Thank you, Mistress.”

The comfortable silence resumed.

After a few more minutes had passe, in which Sanna had nearly been lulled into sleep by the good food, strong wine, and the calming presence of her Mistress, she glanced up and saw her Mistress with her head tilted back and her eyes shut.

“Are you tired?” she inquired.

Loki opened her eyes and looked at her. “Hmm? No Pet, not really. But my head does ache slightly. I think I read for too long and sat too still in the Archive today. My body is no longer used hours of inactivity. As a child I could sit and read for hours without noticing the time pass. Now, what was once a joy has become a chore and I’m already starting to resent it.”

“Perhaps you’re striving to achieve too much too fast Mistress? You have years before you are expected to take on your new role. There’s no need to push yourself so hard.” Sanna chided gently.

“Oh, that’s not what I was doing Pet. After I spoke with the Allmother, a new idea came into my head and I put away all of my work to start a new project. It concerns a school of seidr I’ve woefully never bothered to learn. Tell me Pet, did Lady Audney ever speak to you of her role at court?”

“Lady Audney?” Sanna started at the sudden change of topics. “Well, no. Not really. She taught me courtesy and what would be expected of me as a handmaiden to a Lady of the court. She rarely talked of her life before. I think it reminded her of her son, the one she’d lost, and that always gave her pain. She couldn’t bear to hear his name said aloud and never used it herself. She’d just say 'my son’, and even then it was usually in reference to something he’d done as a child, never as a man grown. I can’t recall her ever speaking of Lord Morten. We got supplies once a fortnight from the manor and I know they were from him.”

“Do you know what happened to him Pet? The son that died, I mean.” Loki asked.

“I know he was killed in a terrible accident. That’s all anyone would say. But what does Lady Audney have to do with divination?”

“Quite a lot according to my mother. She wasn’t a seeress herself, but she could inspire and strengthen visions in others who were. Do you recall yesterday, when we went into my storage area downstairs and you found my old cradle? Do you remember what were you thinking of when you touched it?”

Sanna reached out and set her now empty goblet on the table and sat up, turning to face her Mistress. Loki did the same, stretching her arm across the back of the divan.

“Well I– I don’t know. I was thinking of a lot of things then. Mostly what you must have looked like as a baby–” Sanna broke off and flushed a dull pink.

“What else Pet? I know you’re holding something back. I can tell by the blush on your face,” Loki prodded her.

Sanna tugged the blanket back around her shoulders, as if trying to armor herself against her embarrassment. “I… I was thinking,” her blush got deeper and stretched from her hairline down to her chest. “I was thinking about… what it would be like… to… to have a baby. Your baby Mistress.” She ducked her head and bit her lip at her guilty admission.

Loki removed her hand from the back of the divan and lifted Sanna’s chin to look at her. She took both of her Pet’s hands in her own.

“What exactly Pet? Being pregnant or nursing or rocking it in the cradle? What image formed in your mind?” Loki pushed again. “It’s important.”

Sanna heaved a sigh. “I think it was mostly just what our baby would look like and rocking it to sleep.”

“No image of nursing it at your breast?”

“No. Why? What is so important about this?” She was embarrassed and uncomfortable at the unending questions.

“I had a vision while we were down there. When I turned and saw you touching the cradle I staggered for a moment, do you remember?” At Sanna’s nod she continued, “I didn’t say anything then, because I wasn’t sure what had happened. I’ve never had visions before, or any aptitude for divination so I’ve never studied it, but I know now that I had a vision of you.”

“Me?” Sanna squeaked. She was dumbfounded, her eyes were large as she stared at her Mistress.

“Yes Pet. You were in your little room and sitting in the chair I sent up here. I saw you from the doorway. The cradle was at your feet but it had been freshly polished. The room had been painted and was filled with the things needed to care for an infant. You were nursing a black haired babe at your breast. You looked older than you do now. I heard you humming a soft melody and saw you smile at the child. It was the same smile you had on your face while touching the cradle. That’s why I asked what you were thinking of.”

Sanna was speechless and kept staring. The blush had left her face and she had gone very pale.

“I’ve only just started to research the subject and I still have much to learn, but I believe you may have the same ability as Lady Audney. You might be the reason for the vision, not just the subject of it.”

“Me? What? No! I don’t– How? How can I–” Sanna sputtered. She was dumbfounded. Had all the reading today somehow damaged her Mistress’s mind?

Loki continued on as if her Pet hadn’t spoken.

“I used my seidr on you, the first night you slept beside me. Do you remember a dream of us sitting under a tree beside a river? My telling you to raise your skirts? You woke in the middle of the night and I found you freezing yourself in the bathing pool. I used a spell to enter your dreams.”

Sanna’s blush came rushing back at the memory of the dream and what had followed it. Of her Mistress pleasuring her in the safe place of her childhood. She wasn’t sure whether to be angry or ask her to do it again… But her Mistress was still talking.

“…and that’s why I had to know what you were thinking of. If the same images were in your mind and mine, it might have been a hold over from that spell, or some accident of my seidr and not truly a vision at all–”

“Wait! Just, just wait a moment! Please?” Sanna pulled her hands from Loki’s grasp and put them to her own head. “Does this mean I am going to have your child at some point in the future?”

“I– Honestly? I don’t know. I think what I saw was a vision of a possible future, not necessarily the future we will have. Probably. Like I said, I haven’t ever properly studied the subject. And it’s not something I can walk up to the Allmother, or any other seer, and just ask. Not even as a hypothetical question.”

Sanna slumped back against the divan, her mind whirling. Abilities she might have and hadn’t known existed. A possible baby in her future– well she wanted that… didn’t she? It was too much to take in. Her head throbbed.

“Mistress, can we please talk about something else? Anything else?” Sanna pleaded and rubbed at her temples. Loki’s hands replaced her and she sent a tiny burst of seidr through her Pet’s head, soothing it as Frigga had done for her earlier in the Archive.

“Of course Pet. Would you like me to distract you from your thoughts?” Loki had moved the book of plays her Pet had been reading off the table when the servant had brought in their meal. It was sitting next to her, half tucked under one of the cushions on the divan. She pulled it out and held it up. “Shall I read to you?”

“I thought you’d had enough of that for today?” Sanna was beginning to feel like herself again, and her instinct of caring for her Mistress was making her feel less stupefied.

“Well, there is one other thing I can think of.” Loki shot a lecherous smile at her Pet and offered a hand to her. Sanna didn’t hesitate to take it.

#Loki #Lover #Angst #Submitted fic #submission #yes mistress #angryowlet #chapter 29