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#i just saw a profile with one and all their bio has was a patreon account link
joshslater · 1 year
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Manhood Exchange
The premise is based on a story I read a while back and forgot to bookmark. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.
I was in a shopping mall when I got the notification on my phone. Out of habit I just tapped the icon and suddenly I got a large, erect cock filling the phone screen. I immediately became aware of where I was and had a few seconds of panic before reassuring myself that no one else saw it. I moved a few steps to somewhere less open, where no one could walk behind me, and had a look again.
It was beautiful. Massive and uncut, with the skin pulled back to expose the pink, gleaming head. Actually the entire cock glistened like he had made a few strokes with precum on his hand and then positioned himself with just the right lighting to make the veins pop a little extra. The truly remarkable part was however the overlay at the bottom of the screen. "$400, quick trade"
I'd been on the Manhood Exchange app long enough to know a cock like this is usually hundred times that price, if not more. Whatever impression you've got from watching porn, people are on a bell curve with cock sizes, and the ones on the higher end of the scale aren't selling. All the people who used to compensate with a big truck suddenly ended up in the same market, competing for the same cocks, and they make a hell of a lot more big trucks than big cocks. Oddly enough there was a market for really small cocks as well, not quite as high prices, but just as small supply. Normal people like me in the middle of the bell curve with no cash to buy and no cock to sell just had to make do.
It's not enough for a cock to just enter the market either, which itself is a thread to needle with the 18-35 eligible age span and clean health declaration. For you to find one it has to be bio-compatible for science reasons and roughly the same race for ethics reasons, though the latter is just a matter of money. Obviously I tapped the "Deal!" button in the app before I even checked out his profile. With that kind of cock everyone would know you either had a shit ton of money, or you could get it by selling. The profile didn't add much though. Just more good-looking images of him and his cock. A text message function as well, but was there really anything to talk about?
You'd think I'd be a bit more careful swapping cock with another man, especially since you can't swap again until all the cells have been replaced because of some quantum spin entanglement bullshit. Ten years with bad meat is a long wait, but I already knew he was a bio-match and healthy, so it was more Fear Of Missing Out. I had some shit I hope I could fence, so I took an instant online loan and had the whole deal closed before I'd passed Baskin Robbins on the way out. Both I and my normal size cock were excited.
Just ten minutes later the phone chimed again with a proposed time for the swap at 7:20 pm, almost three hours away. Though I didn't know anything about this less than an hour ago, any delay felt too long, like I hadn't realized how much I wanted this. What it would mean for my position in the crew. Every minute of waiting was a minute where something could derail everything. My phone could be stolen. The exchange could cancel it for some reason. I tapped "Accept" and headed home with the phone in a secure grip in my pocket.
The instructions after I had accepted were straightforward. Be seated with a naked crotch and open the app ten minutes before the scheduled time for exchange. I decided to be pantsless until then just to be safe, and I set three alarms on the phone. One at 6:50 to sit down, if I wasn't already sitting, one at 7:05 to be ready, and one at 7:09 to open the app. I sent a text to Shawn and told him I wouldn't be joining the crew until later, if at all. No details of why.
Then I just sat down in the comfy chair. Three hours to go. I was only wearing my hat, socks, and T-shirt. And my bling of course. The sweatpants and my trunks were in a pile on the floor, and the phone was charging next to me. My cock was pointing almost straight up.
I realized that it would only be my cock for another few hours or so, and I should say goodbye properly. Normally I would jerk off in the shower or in front of the computer, but since I was already perfectly seated and with an erect cock in front of me I just grabbed it and started to remember all the highlights we'd had. When my neighbor Jamar excited came over and wanted to show me something. He was a few years older, but still occasionally spent some time with me. He showed me into the bathroom, lowered his pants, and told me to do the same. Then he showed me that by pulling on his cock he could get it to "bend" in his words. I remembered waking up one early morning with my boxers wet and worried I'd peed my bed. To my surprise they were filled with slime, but just to be safe I put them under the bed to dry so my mother wouldn't know. I remembered that time I got an erection during a movie screening, and slowly wanked but desperately trying to avoid cumming or anyone else noticing what I did.
I remembered the first time I had sex, the first porn I jerked off to, the first time a date ended in sex, the first time I had sex in a car, the first time I jerked off to a porn video on my mobile. All while doing this I tried to go as slow as I could, like at the movie. Flashing before me were dates, partners, and porn stars, while the top of my cock had some frothy pre-cum. I was shocked when the alarm went off. How the fuck could time have moved that fast. I scrambled to get hold of an old T-shirt within reach, and pretty quickly came into it with a few pumps of cum. Not really the satisfying climax I had envisioned.
Suddenly time was moving slowly again, and I was stuck watching dried off, limp cock in front of me. I became self-conscious about how it looked, worried about if the seller would cancel the trade last minute seeing what a lousy deal it was for him. He'd seen my photos already though, but they were taken erect and with good lighting. What was the cancellation policy anyway? The next alarm went off. Why did I even set that one? I was getting nervous. What if it hurt? There was a lot of news about misteleportations some years ago, and this was way more complicated. I didn't even understand how it worked. I knew the basics of standard teleportation from school. Every particle is a probability wave that exists everywhere, but the probability of it actually being at a specific point is overwhelming. By manipulating the quantum state you can poke the probability so that it is more likely to be somewhere else. Just a change in probability, so it can move instantaneously anywhere in the universe, given enough math. Swapping body parts between people was way harder, so it was bound to have lots of issues that could happen.
The last alarm interrupted my train of thought. I kind of felt not ready. Rich people did this, so it should be safe to do I reasoned, and tapped the activation button on the phone.
"This will start a legally binding contract with Manhood Exchange Incorporated adjudicated in the state of Delaware. Please identify yourself." the phone voice said. I pressed the white circle on the screen with my identification finger, the middle one of course.
"Please sign that you are aware that concluding this transaction will replace your penis, testicles, prostate, and relevant connecting tissue, glands, and other structures with a third party as preliminary agreed." I pressed the circle again, wondering what would happen if I didn't. The $400 would certainly be gone.
"Please sign that you are aware that this is a one-time transfer option with Manhood Exchange Incorporated that cannot be reversed through quantum transplantation." I pressed the circle a third time.
"Please sign that you are aware that both set of testicles will be made infertile through this swap." I pressed the circle a fourth time, not so nervous I barely registered what I had signed. The screen of the phone changed to showing a live video from my selfie camera, showing me half-naked in my lounge chair. "Tap to connect" it said on the screen. I did.
The image quickly changed to show the man from the photos lying down in a white, far more upscale couch than I was sitting in. "Yo, man. You ready to do this?" he asked. His erect cock was just as big as it had looked on the photos, almost looking bigger as it was swaying with his breathing. The instructions on the screen said "Verify the other party is the selected exchange party and that he is seated with exposed crotch."
"Yeah, let's do it." I said, and tapped the Verified button on the screen. I could see from his motions that he did the same, and a timer started on the screen, counting down to 7:20. "So, will it fit in speedos?" I blurted out, still feeling nervous and with several minutes to kill. He chuckled. "Shorts are better for swimming, but you want some tight trunks to keep it in place when you're wearing normal clothes. I use compression shorts a lot."
"Well, you can use whatever with mine."
The last 40 seconds we just stared at the countdown in silence. The actual swap was instant, almost silent, though I wouldn't be able to describe the sound, and without any shimmers of light as you can sometimes see when teleporting. It felt like someone spilled warm water over my crotch, though that quickly went away, but it was replaced with the most amazing, intense horny hardon I've ever felt. It was like the cock was buzzing, craving attention. "Enjoy the wank" the other guy said. "What? Oh. Thanks!" I said and the video was closed from his side.
I grabbed the cock with my hand and instantly felt the difference in size. It was almost the size of my wrist. I just moved my hand up and a trickle of precum oozed out and trickled down over my fingers. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and continued where I had left off, thinking about the most recent porn videos, and in not too long I could feel the buildup of a climax, only this time I was unable to force it back. It just kept building and building, and I think I actually moaned out loud as the first rope of cum erupted. Then another one, and another one. Then I had to open my eyes to look at the mess, and it wasn't any small squirts of cum either. It looked almost comical how my T-shirt was completely soaked in cum, and I was still pumping out a few more ropes.
To my amazement the cock was still semi-erect. I got up and hurried to the bathroom and threw the cum-wet T-shirt. After a quick look at my sticky chest I decided to have a shower. I stripped out of the few remaining items I had on and proceeded to have another wank in the shower. This one lasted a bit longer and produced slightly less cum, but it was still a shocking amount.
I had barely dried and put on my underwear before the new cock started to firm up again. I grabbed the phone and sent a text to the seller in the app. "What the hell is happening with my cock? Were you always hard?"
The app sat silent for a few minutes until a response chimed. "It's called hyperspermia. It's a genetic condition, so not a disease in Manhood Exchange's definition. You'll learn to cope several hours between wanks. It was the precum that bothered me the most. Just drink a lot of water, always wear a condom, and compression shorts really help, as I said. Good luck!"
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kteague · 3 years
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dawcast · 2 years
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This 1 App Could End Up Replacing Everything
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If you’re a social media fiend, chances are you spend all day everyday scanning Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Or, maybe like some, you like spending most of your time on TikTok and Snapchat (other social networks be damned…). Either way, you probably have something to share or offer. Maybe you like to make beats in your spare time. Perhaps you have a YouTube channel you’re looking to grow. Or maybe you’re a writer on Medium whose latest article just went viral. The bottom line is, we all have links we want to direct our audiences to – Patreon, OnlyFans, YouTube, or otherwise. Given that this is inevitable, the app (or link in bio) you use to promote your works should be something that helps you get results, shouldn’t it? And preferably, it should be an app that makes the process simpler and more streamlined, not more convoluted. After all, no one wants one more app.
What About Landing Pages?
I know, I’m a big fan of landing pages too. I’ve created and leveraged many over the years. But builders are kind of pricy (you’d better be using one if you want access to the best templates), and let’s face it – unless you have a perfect offer to market fit, getting people to sign up is hard. Even when you have the perfect offer, Campaign Monitor says the average conversion rate for a landing page across all industries is 2.35%. That means you need to draw 1,000 visitors to your landing page just to get 24 conversions (rounded up). Sure, landing pages sometimes do better. But exactly how much time, energy, and money do you want to spend on endless A/B testing with fonts, colors, copy, imagery, videos, button variations, and more, just to get a few signups? It's too much for the average person.
Enter Link in Bio Solutions
Obviously, there are a few “link in bio” solutions out there. And they’re all great. Honestly, I’m not here to diss any of them, because I’ve tried a few myself, and I can’t say I’ve had a bad experience with any of them. The great thing about these solutions is that they bypass a lot of the guesswork. You can prioritize the links you want to show first, so you can get more clicks on those. With most, you can usually include links to your social media profiles, and sometimes embed your latest media, like your latest podcast episode, music release, or YouTube video. But that’s all most link in bio solutions have been designed to do. Is that wrong? No. But someone realized that link in bios could be taken to the next level, that they could be the best of both worlds, or in this case, all worlds.
The 1 App That’s Transforming the Link in Bio Concept
The newcomer that’s fast transforming the “link in bio” landscape is Koji. When I saw it for the first time, honestly, I didn’t know what to expect. But once I started digging a little deeper, I quickly realized that it offered more than any other solution out there. For FREE. It has built-in mini apps that allow you to collect donations, crowdfund your next project, sell locked content and NFTs, create Cameo style videos, collect emails, and more. If you’re going to send people to a link in bio, it should be one where you can do all of that anyway, right? After all, aren’t you sending people to Patreon, OnlyFans, YouTube, OpenSea, PayPal, Kickstater, ConvertKit, and other destinations anyway, even if you’re already using another link in bio platform? Wouldn’t it make your life a whole lot easier to be able to do it all from one central space, AND direct people to one link instead of half a dozen or more? That’s why I recommend checking out Koji.
Is Koji Just for Musicians?
Not at all. It’s great for all types of creators – NFT owners, eCommerce businesses, artists, musicians, and more.
What Does Koji Cost?
It’s FREE!
Are You Playin’ Me, Bro?
No, I just think it’s a great app you should check out. That’s why I brought it up. 😉 So, join the likes of Melissa Etheridge, Def Leppard, and Walk Off The Earth who already have their own Koji link in bio. Read the full article
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The 11+1 types of Letterboxd users
1. The completionist. Logs everything, and I mean everything. Not just features and shorts, but miniseries, motion comics, commercials, Youtube-videos and award shows. Breaks out in a sweat if something’s not in the database.  An avid TMDb user. Watches all kinds of horseshit, just so they can beef up their yearly ranked list. They were the most vocal and outrageous people every time Twin Peaks: The Return got taken down (which now proudly sits on the top of their “Best of 2017″ list).
2. The vanilla. Only does three things: logs, rates, and likes. Doesn’t use the social features, and never ventured to the “Films” and “People” pages. Their profile is more barren than the furthest reaches of the Sahara during dry season.
3. The professional film critic. Their reviews are two paragraphs long, with a link at the end that leads to the full article, that never anyone actually clicks on. Goes to film festivals, but doesn’t pay for them. To them, watching films has been more of a chore than a fun activity for a long time now, so all of their reviews are at least a little bit bitter. A born contrarian; the most heated debates are formed under their diary entries.
4. The aspiring film critic. Probably a film studies undergrad. Writes about every movie they watch, but so far their most accomplished publication was in their school’s newspaper. Secretly wants to be a screenwriter, or a second assistant director at the very least, but deep down knows that they lack the work ethic to do so. A prolific twitter user.
5. The SJW. Either a queer female person in her late teens/early twenties, or a teenage guy with all the neuroses that he can fit in his bio. The Letterboxd subreddit hates them.  100% has a tumblr, 95% that they make gifs as well. Met all their friends online, and frequently uses rabbit to socialize. Made at least one “Movies that guy in your film class can’t shut up about” list. Can’t wait for Woody Allen to die.
6. The how-did-he-get-here? Complains about the SJW-s on Reddit. Actually loves the professional film critic’s work. Probably gotten a minor stroke when he saw all the gender options, but he’s okay now. His reviews may be overtly racist, inaccurate, or misogynist but still has about a thousand followers.
7. The screenwriter. He is a scribe, an artist, an author, and you know it, because that’s literally the first line of their bio. If he’s already made something, you’ll find it in their favourite movies section. You may support them on Patreon while he’s working on his next big thing, but actually he doesn’t earn enough from that to give up his day job (that he hates of course). Never gave a blockbuster more than 3 stars, and his end of the year top 10 consists entirely of indies, and maybe the latest Christopher Nolan release.
8. The joke reviewer. Never wrote a diary entry that was more than a hundred words. Knows all the ins and outs of html. Has at least three featured reviews on the “Films” page at all times. Joined Letterboxd about six months ago, and already has 5000 followers. Often logs movies that they haven’t actually seen just to write something witty and snatch up those likes. Thinks they have ownership over at least one celebrity.
9. The genre fetishist.  Has the one specific interest, and they’ll damn watch all of those movies, or die trying! Their genre is probably horror, but it could be anything from samurai movies to early 90’s BBC TV films.  Probably an editor of a niche online magazine. Doesn’t care about new releases much, but logs that one weird 70’s Japanese haunted house movie at least three times a year.
10. The parent. Either literally, like the middle-aged dads who watch a crapload of films with their offspring, and never hesitate to include the little ones’ opinion in their reviews. Or it can be figurative; the one who at the end of their reviews always remind you if there’s something disturbing, misogynistic, vulgar or non-vegan in the movie.
11. The one without a social life. Has 700 entries at minimum at the end of the year. At least a Pro user. Claims to have a significant other, but you don’t believe them, because no one actually has that much free time next to school or work. Owns about a million Criterion releases, but also torrents heavily to keep up with their addiction. Frequently does PTA-marathons (AKA rewatching There Will Be Blood four times in three days). Has some similarities with the completionist, but the truly frightening ones have only ever logged features.
+1. Sean Baker
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Ear Wax
Yoga exercise has actually become a preferred kind from physical exercise lately. In the absence of this particular however, our experts prepare to commence all the procedures that will usher our team into workplace, including the swearing-in, so that our experts may start to put our programmes in position to better the bunches of our individuals. For the last handful of full weeks we have been actually consuming the repugnant probability that the FBI made use of a dossier paid for by Clinton campaign as well as ginned up by a convocation of scary political hatchet guys and also ladies (Blumenthal, Shearer, Steele, 2 Ohrs, and so on) along with input coming from different "buddies of the Kremlin" in order to spy on a United States person and, most certainly, Donald Trump, in the past and also after he became president. Because of each latest occasions and also long-simmering ethnological concerns in this particular nation, I have actually concerned the verdict that this's time for me to state my sincere and also earnest posture on nationality relationships, specifically those involving the dark population. Wozniak points out that the twenty-five reveal the features of creativeness, leadership-and key reinvestment within this area." Indeed, the bios do concentrate widely on generosity, but there is little conversation concerning exactly how these people created their wide range, how they administered on their own as CEOs or even business leaders, or just how their philanthropy has in some cases-particularly along with the DeVos family-been made use of certainly not merely for reinvestment" in the West Michigan neighborhood, however to advance a rightwing political belief. Obama's, introduced Friday, the Obamas remain to highlight the work of contemporary as well as present-day African-American musicians, as they so frequently made with the artworks they preferred to live with in the White Residence, through Glenn Ligon, Alma Thomas as well as William H. Johnson, among others. That made use of to be that one moms and dad stayed at home, the youngsters saw their parents just before as well as after institution, and the entire family sat to supper EVERY night, referring to their time, talking with one another concerning just what is actually taking place in their lives. Along with a lot from our United States culture handled through white folks, the dark person which brings in the selection to be in a partnership with a white person is making the choice to attempt and also adjust to the dominating white colored culture and also to bolster the assimilation from the dark area. Thomas et al, Origins of Old Testament Priests," 139; Semina et al, Beginning, Circulation, and also Difference," 1029; Ellen Levy-Coffman, A Mosaic of Folks: The Jewish Story and a Review from the DNA Evidence," Journal from Hereditary Genealogy 1 (2005 ): 12-33 15-16; Doron M. Behar et al, Various Sources from Ashkenazi Levites: Y Chromosome Evidence for Both Near Eastern as well as International Ancestries," American Diary from Human Genetic Makeup 73 (2003 ): 768-779 769. I can go on, but my aspect is this: I, a "nice white woman" from a caring Midwestern household elevated in a heritage from tolerance, possessed no idea, zero concept, that a dark guy in the 20th century, in a location as dynamic as Los Angeles, at once when range as well as interracial relationships appeared widespread, as well as along with 2 people that were actually certainly not involved in unlawful habits, might be thus egregiously affected by an authorities society rife along with harassment, bigotry as well as profiling. This zdobadzpiekno.info week, the prominent patronage system Patreon produced a news that has actually shaken its own consumer base to the center: This's implementing a charge modification that will gut the existing vow unit as well as is already dreadful individuals which rely on it to sustain their innovative undertakings. " While Mr Trump claimed he sent his 'requests as well as acknowledgements' to the families of the lifeless, including: 'No teacher, kid or even anyone else should ever before think dangerous in a United States institution.' Sarah responded: 'I don't prefer your acknowledgements you fucking price (sic) from spunk, my buddies as well as educators were shot. These consist of the M-1 Rail cable car system (" Gilbert's little bit of choo-choo," one resource poked fun), which weaves by means of the growing enterprise zone; an online securities market for shoes; a balanced fiber-optic internet service that is actually half the price from Comcast's; and Rocchi's Grand Festival.
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