#i just really love procrastinating apparently idk

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 25-40):

If I hear "what a drag..." one more time, so help me god, I will lose it

Pointing out clichés in your writing isn't clever, it's still bad writing

Suigetsu @ mitsuki: here's your intel, little gay boy

Boruto: kagura is a good ninja, his ancestry doesn't matter! Bad guy: kagura is a bad ninja, he freaks out and kills everyone when he weilds a sword (if kagura wasn't a ninja he would have nothing to feel bad abt, why is that not an option?)

Naruto 🤝 Boruto making all the boys obsessed with them

Sarada: were u really good friends with lord 7th as a child? Sakrua: ...we were more like family (well... im glad she didnt lie abt being his friend)

Boruto staring up at a beautiful sky: even if I tried, I don't think I could forget this (never say never, kid, ur dad once forgot he had a crow shoved down his throat)

Naruto @ orochimaru: our relationship is one of cooperation (natuto ur past self would beat the piss outta you)

The genin exam in naruto's time looks unhinged in comparison to the boruto extensive testing: if u can shadow clone yourself, u r ready to die in mortal combat (clearly kakashi made sweeping changes in his time as hokage)

Konoha: things have changed in this village, u don't have to be a ninja if u don't wanna :-D But if u do wanna, you make the decision to put ur life on the line at age fucking 12. So, progress but still on the path to dead children. That's our ninja way.

Why does iruka look 20 years older than kakashi when he's like 4 years younger 😭

Wow a sarada/boruto accidental kiss. It's just like the naruto/sasuke kiss, except with 1000% less romantic tension

Orochimaru: I must make sure my beloved synthetic son has free will. Therefore I will lie to his face, force him to confront the horror of his existence and make a high stakes choice about his allegiance, and erase his memory 6 times until I get the result I want

Why are all naruto missions involving bridges cursed?

#i dont kno where were going plot wise. and i dont kno how im supposed to feel abt any of this #im glad were out of the academy bc i find most of the friends annoying but i like team 7 and also i lov inojin lol #but like. i dont kno where were going. bc theres a lot of talk abt: u dont have to be a ninja! the world doesnt need ninja so much #but with a rising tide of enemies like: make ninjas great again #and boruto is like: idk what i wanna do with my life but also i wanna show my dad im better than him #and like i really reallu just want boruto to not be a ninja. like he should be a teacher or a nurse or something #hes extremely talented and fairly emotionally intelligent and he cares abt ppl a lot #so i want him to b like: fuck being a ninja. its ppl i care abt. i dont have to bleed for ppl to ensure they love me #and then b like dad ur life was fucked. u can rest now naruto can come to terms with how fucked #everything was and continues to be. but fucking there r dinosaurs apparently st somw point so fucking i dont kno where we r going #mitsuki is my boy tho. protect him from orochimaru. orochimaru should b in blood prison or dead lol #but whatever. its not a good show but i am enjoying it. its just kinda cursed #unrelated #naruto ramblings #im hardcover procrastinating. ugh.

[bubblesreplies]

The Middle

Max Brinly X Female Reader

Oneshot

APPARENTLY IF YOU’RE READING THIS IN ANY DARK COLORED FORMAT ON TUMBLR (LIKE NIGHT MODE) IT LOOKS FUCKING WEIRD AND IDK HOW TO FIX IT I’M SO SORRY.

A/N: No, I'm not neglecting my other fics to write a random oneshot? Why would you even suggest---fuck it here it is besties. Anyways, this product of procrastination is dedicated and written for my bestie @house-of-kolchek, who loves Max as much as I do.

WARNINGS AND TAGS: NSFW 18+ ONLY, this is unedited and might be awful, Reader is Jacob's cousin, manipulative!Emma but like in a good way, BFF!Emma, Emma/Jacob, Abi/Nick, making Emma cooler than she is, sweetheart!Max, unrequited love (assumably), forced proximity, sex jokes, unsafe seating situations while driving DO NOT DO THIS PLEASE, lap-sitting, erections, staring down your shirt, teasing, love confessions, very very cheesy and idc anymore

Word Count: 8k

Main Masterlist

“EMMA, that is the stupidest idea in seriously the entire world.”

You meant it, too; you already thought that this little impromptu camping trip was an awful idea; the last time that the group of you were out in the woods, it ended with werewolves, so, could anybody really be blamed for not wanting to tempt fate? And now hearing Emma’s latest plan, you couldn’t help but say fuck this whole entire trip and its mom, too. 

“Oh—come on!” Emma insisted with a pout across her face, leaning across her oversized suitcase—who in the world needed all of that space for a weekend camping trip? “Babes, you are my wing-woman here—my ultimate girl. Come on, please—Jacob won’t even look at me when we hang out. I really need your help with this!”

You sighed; a year ago, when the ten of you—eight, if you considered the fact that you hadn’t actually met two of the camp counselors until the end of the summer—worked at Hackett’s Quarry and endured that shitshow of a summer, you hadn’t even liked Emma. You didn’t like how she had your cousin, Jacob, mooning all over her like she owned the whole fucking Earth. You didn’t like the way that the nicest girl you’d ever met seemed to think she walked on water, too, and you did not appreciate the fact that she thought she was entitled to tell you all the ways that you were doing your makeup all wrong. 

But then, that night happened. The night of the full moon, when your idiot cousin sabotaged the van just to get another night with the woman he’d fallen in love with who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about him. The night where the ten of you had miraculously survived werewolves, and a crazy-ass family trying to kill you all night. That night was what changed everything. 

You’d gotten stranded with Emma running through the woods, and somehow landed yourself in a heated battle with Jacob—who had apparently been bitten by one of those things because he was now one of those things. He, obviously, tried to kill the two of you and Emma thought fast, using a piece of silver jewelry to save both of your lives and buy you enough time to get the hell out of there. 

And then, you’d been locked in a room with her and Abi, the three of you not knowing if you would survive the night, and something just…changed. You began to see her differently, and from that point on, throughout this entire past year, the three of you had been best friends. 

More you and Emma, if you were being honest, because Abi and Nick had just gotten engaged three months ago and most of her free time went to him.

Not that it hurt your feelings. If you somehow managed to bag the man of your dreams, you’d be spending every free moment with him, too. 

“Jacob just…needs time,” you informed her with a groan, throwing your tennis shoes across the room as you frantically looked for your favorite pair of leggings. “He’s still hurt, you know? You can’t just tell him you didn’t mean any of it and then expect him to forgive you and jump back into your arms, Emma.”

“Which is why I need you to get me into his cabin this weekend,” Emma pleaded, getting up from her place on your bed and digging through your drawers as she pulled out the very clothes you were looking for. You swore that sometimes, it was literally like she could read your mind. “All we have to do is fake a fight; I will refuse to sleep in the same cabin as you, and then the boys will offer to switch with us. I’ll get a whole night—and a whole, isolated cabin—with Jacob; and you? Well, let’s not pretend that you aren’t benefitting from my little plan.”

You snorted, shimmying out of your jeans and pulling your leggings up over your legs, smiling as Emma nodded towards your ass in approval. If she thought that you looked good, you could rest assured that you damn well did.

“And how will I benefit from getting into a fake fight with you and causing a scene?” You questioned, your head cocked as Emma passed you your shoes and you eagerly slipped them on. The rest of your group would be here at any minute, and you didn’t want to keep them waiting. 

“Because if I end up in Jacob’s cabin, you know who ends up in yours? Max.”

You whipped around and shot Emma a glare, shaking your head like you couldn’t believe that she would just mention his name all casually like that. You’d made her swear to never bring up your pathetic, unrequited crush on Max Brinly ever again, since the day she’d first found out that it even existed in the first place. 

You first met Max when the sun came up after that hellish night at Hackett’s Quarry. You and Emma had run back to the island to see if Jacob was there and if he was alive, and you ended up running into Max instead. After lots of screaming and confusion, the two of you finally allowed him to explain just how in the fuck he had gotten there and who he was, which is when you learned that your one night of hell had lasted two months for him and his girlfriend. 

Emma had found Jacob and ran after him, but you stayed behind with Max, talking and laughing at his jokes, attempting not to swoon at the adorableness that was his laugh. You had hoped, at the beginning of the summer, to find somebody just like him and have a summer romance. Somebody who was cute, who could make you laugh, and seemed to understand you instantly.

It didn’t work out that way, obviously—seeing as the summer had been over and Max Brinly had a girlfriend. 

Laura eventually came back for him and you parted ways, assuming that this would be the last time that you would ever see Max Brinly, attributing your budding feelings for him as some sort of trauma response to the night that you had just been through. 

Imagine your surprise when, a month after Hackett’s Quarry, the new co-worker that you were assigned to train at the coffee shop was none other than Max Brinly. You assumed right away that he wouldn’t even remember you—why would he?---but you were wrong. He knew exactly and immediately who you were, and the two of you hit it off just as well as you did the first time you had ever spoken to him. It wasn’t long before you were hanging out with him every single day, and he had slowly become your best friend. 

You went to movies together, you got dinner, he came to all of the track and field competitions you ran in at your local university, you helped him study hard enough to get into a new graduate school—literally, anything that you could think of, the two of you did it together.  You even stayed the night at each other’s apartments on occasion, both of you knowing what the other’s couch felt like pretty intimately. 

In fact, the only time the two of you weren’t together was when Laura came to town to visit her boyfriend. Before she dumped him, at least.

It was nearly a month and a half ago now, that you had sat on this very bed with Max as he sobbed, asking you just to hold him and not ask any questions when he told you that he and Laura had broken up. 

“Max isn’t into me, so that really doesn’t help your case,” you grumbled, your pissy mood only continuing to sour the more that you thought about it. After Max and Laura, you thought that you might actually stand a chance with him. After all, he spent all of his free time with you, and you knew that nobody in this world knew him as well as you did—and vice versa. But after the night that he’d sobbed with you, fallen asleep in your bed, and told you how he felt like years of his life were wasted with Laura, nothing ever happened. 

He just went right on back to being the same old Max, your friend.

“Do you seriously still think that that boy has no feelings for you whatsoever?” Emma shrieked, watching as Jacob’s car pulled up from the window, hurriedly throwing her hair up into a sexily-tossed messy bun. “‘Cause, if you do, you’re so wrong that it isn’t even funny anymore.”

“Em, if he had feelings for me, then why didn’t anything change after he and Laura broke up?!” You interjected, a frown pulling at your lips as you grabbed your tiny duffel bag and hiked it up over your shoulder. “And also, why would he date Laura for so long if he actually, secretly liked me instead? Your logic isn’t logic-ing,” you insisted, and Emma smirked.

“You are so naive that it’s actually kind of cute,” she responded, rolling her eyes as Jacob opted to honk instead of being a gentleman and coming to the door. Emma sauntered over to you, playing with the ends of your hoodie and eyeing it suspiciously. “Look, just—help me with this plan, and you’ll see, okay? And change into that sexy little top I bought you last month for the car ride.”

“Emma!”

“Just trust me!” Emma insisted, pulling the hoodie up and over your head for you and tossing you the lacey black crop top she’d bought you last month. “Put it on—good, yes, I would so bang you—oh, and just in case you find out that Max also wants to bang you, I snuck condoms into your bag.”

“You have got to be kidding me, Emma!” You shrieked, although it was with a large smile on your face as you were, once again, blown away by the antics of your friend. 

Emma only laughed as the two of you rushed down to the car, you having to help Emma with one half of her bag since she’d brought such a gigantic one. You’d barely made it to the door before there was a knock on it—apparently Jacob had decided to be a gentleman after all. Or he’d simply gotten impatient, which was the better bet of the two options.

“Keep your pants on cuz, we’re coming,” you hissed out, lowering your end of Emma’s bag to the ground as you ripped open the door to your apartment. Your annoyed glare dropped and your mouth fell open as you saw Max standing there, his cheeks red and running a hand through his freshly-cut red hair. “Max! I, uh, thought you were Jacob?”

Fuck, why did you sound so fucking awkward?! Your conversation with Emma had you paranoid and upset, and if you kept acting this way, Max would definitely notice. The two of you had crossed the awkward barrier a long time ago.

“Ah, nah,” Max answered, his signature smile flashing across his face and warming you up from the inside out. “Jake’s too possessive over that steering wheel to get his ass over to the door honestly.”

“That and he doesn’t want to have to speak to me,” Emma sighed, lugging her bag forward and hitting Max in the chest with it. You suppressed a giggle as he let out an “Oomph!”, but he caught your smile and playfully sneered at you. “Oh, what a gentleman! And damn, Max, I’ve never noticed how strong you are. Have you, Y/n?! Have you ever noticed those biceps?” 

“Cut it out, Emma,” you hissed under your breath, grateful that Max had already turned around and was heaving her oversized bag to the trunk of the car. “I know what you’re doing, and it isn’t going to work on me.”

“What am I doing?” Emma asked with faux innocence, batting her eyelashes heavily down at you before she winked. “Just use it as fuel for our fake fire, if you want, babes. Besides—would it really kill you to admit in front of him that he looks good?! Give the boy a win, Y/n!”

“He does not think of me that way—”

“Hey, um, Emma?” Max called out as you were locking your front door behind you, and you turned and ran over to where he was pursing his lips behind the trunk. “Maybe we should’ve brought a bigger car, but, your bag is not going to fit back here.”

Emma turned to look and her lips, too, were pursed. 

“Well, where’s everyone sitting?” She asked, peering her head into the car to check out the situation. 

“Well, uh, Jacob’s driving—obviously—Abi and Nick are in the row of two seats behind him, and then he wants you to sit back in the last row with me while Y/n takes the passenger seat,” Max explained, using his hands to gesture to each person. Abi turned around to look at you from her place in the car, Nick’s head in her lap as he slept, and she waved. You waved back, grimacing at the large bag that was seated at your feet. 

“Hmm, no, that won’t do,” Emma insisted with a wave of her hand, using all of her strength to heave her bag up and over the full trunk of the car and into the last row of seats. “It’s going to have to go here—and oh, I really didn’t sleep well last night, so if I don’t sit in the passenger seat, I’ll get sick.” 

Max’s jaw dropped and he scoffed lightly, looking between the two of you as you held in a large groan. 

“I don’t really see how that makes any sense?” He questioned.

“So Y/n will have to sit in the back, with you!” Emma finished with a gleeful squeal, hurrying to shut the trunk and turning to make her way to the passenger seat of the car. 

“Um—hold on a minute, just where the fuck in the back will I sit?!” You barked out, gesturing incredulously to the monstrosity that was her luggage all over the back seat of the car. “Your bag is taking up the entire row—all but one seat, Em! And it’s way too fucking big to go down at our feet!” 

Emma put a daintly little finger to her chin, and you could tell that she was only pretending to think about the predicament.

“Well, it’s only about a forty-five minute drive,” she informed you, a wicked smile pushing its way onto her lips. “It’s not that long, so, just sit on Max’s lap?”

Your eyes widened and you felt sweat beading on the back of your neck, your heart beating at an intensely quick pace just at the mere thought of having to sit on Max. One look at Max’s face showed he heard her suggestion, too, because it was unnaturally blank and pale. 

You walked closer to Emma, pulling her into you as you said, “You better be fucking for real with your next suggestion, or we will get in an actual fight, Emma,” you warned her, your voice low enough that Max couldn’t hear it. You noticed that he was already ushering Nick and Abi out of the car, hurrying to his seat in the back, and the three of them were just waiting on you. 

“Oh my g—will you just trust me, for once in your life?!” Emma begged dramatically, clinging onto your arm and giving you a little push towards Max. “Thank me later, hoe.”

Oh no, I will not be thanking you later, you sneaky little she-devil, you thought to yourself, climbing over Abi’s seat and landing ungracefully into Max’s lap. He caught you much more elegantly than you fell, luckily, and he helped you right yourself so that your back was facing his chest. 

You turned your face towards him despite the fact that it was burning, and you brushed a strand of hair back behind your ear. 

“You know, I could always just sit on her bag instead of on you,” you offered, geturing weakly over to the big problem that Emma had handed over to the two of you with a private sneer at her back. “That way I won’t crush your legs into tiny pieces of ash.”

Max actually laughed out loud at that and your heart swelled with a feeling of accomplishment; Max was funny, he had probably always been funny, and anytime that you had gotten him to laugh, you took it as a personal achievement. 

“Please sweetheart, as if you could,” Max retorted, winding an arm around your waist as he pulled your back flush against his chest, leaving his arm to rest across your stomach and his fingers splayed across your hipbone. You closed your eyes, holding in a sigh as you prayed that he couldn’t see the way that your face had reddened from this angle. “Besides, this is probably the…safer option of the two.”

You heartily disagreed with that. 

Still, you positioned yourself against him, awkwardly playing with your fingers on your lap as you had no idea where to rest your hands. You and Max were close, yes, but you had never physically been close, aside from a few silly moments of teasing tickles, accidentally falling asleep on his shoulder, or him resting his legs on your lap as the two of you watched a movie together. This was entirely new territory, and you had no idea what to do with it, and you knew that if Emma hadn’t forced this to happen, that Max wouldn’t have chosen to even be in this situation with you. Probably. 

“Jacob, the drive is forty-five minutes?” You called up to him, wincing as you watched your cousin’s teeth grit in the rearview mirror as he attempted to ignore Emma completely.

“An hour, if traffic’s bad,” Jacob called back and you groaned, your leg shaking furiously in your nervousness. As if Max could sense that you were on edge—fuck, with the way that you were bouncing around he probably could feel it—his other hand landed on your thigh, rubbing calming circles around as he successfully got it to stop shaking.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m so anxious today,” you sighed, rubbing a hand down your face and leaning back into Max. You could hear his groan and you winced, assuming you had hurt him, as you instantly tried to reposition yourself to take some of the weight off of him.

After a few minutes of frantic wiggling, Max’s hands harshly gripped onto your waist, his fingernails digging into you as he held you tightly into place and you froze, your eyes wide and breath held. 

“Y/n, please—stop.” Max’s voice was incredibly hoarse, coming out in a groan and you winced again, mortified that you had hurt him enough to elicit this sort of response. 

“Oh shit, Max! I am so sorry—I was trying not to hurt you and then I did hurt you and—”

“Y/n!” Max interrupted, clearing his throat so that his voice sounded a lot more normal and less husky. “Honey, you’re not hurting me, just—don’t wiggle around right—there.”

Your eyebrows raised in confusion at his words and your brain couldn’t process what the hell he was saying, so you just opted to nod, leaning forward as far as you could and beginning a conversation with Abi as you tried with every ounce of your being to not put much weight on Max. It took every ounce of concentration that you had to not think about the fact that you were touching the love of your life and focus on Abi’s words about wedding planning, but somehow, you did it. 

“Hey, uh, Jake?” Max suddenly called out, and you noticed that his voice had gone hoarse again and that his tone was tight and clipped. Higher than normal. You frowned; in your conversation with Abi, you had slipped a little further backwards than you’d realized, back into his lap. “How much longer?”

“Thirty minutes,” Jacob growled, and you noticed Emma looking a little offput herself. “It’s looking closer to an hour total at this point.”

“Alright then, we need to stop,” Max insisted and you stifled a pathetic whine, embarrassed that you were this hard to bear just sitting on his lap. It probably didn’t help that you were still actively avoiding any and all contact with him, practically leaving him here in the backseat to talk to himself as you ignored him, anxious and letting Emma’s words get to your head.

You needed to stop. You and Max were friends. Good friends, and you were being absolutely ridiculous about this whole thing. 

Three minutes later, Jacob pulled off at a reststop and you lifted off of Max instantly, watching him scamper out of the car after Abi and Nick and hurrying into the men’s restroom. With everyone out of the car but you and Emma, you climbed over the seats and sat between her seat and the driver’s seat, staring at her with wide eyes.

“So,” you started out, pointedly ignoring the tears in her eyes, knowing she wouldn’t want to talk about it right now. “Your plan to make me sit on Max is not working; I can barely say two words to the guy, and his poor legs are getting crushed by me. He probably can’t think of anything but leg cramps!” 

“Oh, please,” Emma scoffed, dabbing at her eyes with a tissued and waving your worries away with a flick of her hand. “Look at him, and look at you; there must be some other reason he needs a break.”

“Oh yeah?” You fought back, crossing your arms over your chest as you frowned at your friend. “Like what, exactly? It’s not working Emma, you’re miserable up here, and I am back there; we should just switch places. You’re smaller than me.”

“I am not,” Emma sighed.

“All I know is one minute, I can’t sit still, and the next minute, he’s grabbing my hips and telling me to stop wiggling around,” you continued on, as if Emma hadn’t even interjected. “What else could it be if not that I was—”

You instantly stopped talking as Emma looked over to you, mouth opened and eyes glinting with excitement. 

“You poor naive little thing!” She giggled, pulling your arms so that you were practically sitting on her lap. “Y/n, you aren’t hurting him—you’re turning him on and he doesn’t want you to feel it!” 

You felt pinpricks across your face as the entire thing turned white, and you were suddenly feeling a little nauseous. 

“What?” You questioned, shaking your head lutching nervously at your hair. “What? I—no, Max isn’t—he wasn’t—”

“Oh, yes, yes he was,” Emma argued, and there was a light in her eyes that replaced whatever sadness she had been feeling before you came up there to talk to her. “Okay, do exactly as I say; when Max comes back out to the car, sit back on him just like you were that first time. Wiggle around a bit again—”

“What? No!”

“Just trust me—wiggle around a little bit again, then ask him if he wants to watch something with you on your phone. When you turn it on, lean back against him so that your back is arched and he gets a good, full view down your—”

“Okay, and this is where I officially stop you, you are crazy,” you intoned, shaking your head and leaning away from your friend. “Max is not into me—in case you managed to forget about that, babes—and besides, I can’t just show him my boobs, Emma! They’re my—boobs. They’re, like, private.”

“Holy fuck, how are you not a virgin,” Emma groaned, shoving you back towards your seat as she pointed eagerly out of the car. “Okay, babes, here he comes—just trust me, okay?! Do it!” 

You opened your mouth to argue again, but the words fell from your lips as the car door opened and Max poked his head inside, grinning over at you as his eyes darted back and forth between you and Emma. 

“What, uh, what’s going on here?” He asked, and you shot a glare at Emma as she giggled, hiding her face in her shirt and sending an ominous wink your way. You tried as well as you could to tell her to shut up with your eyes, but she ignored you in typical Emma fashion. 

“Nothing,” you replied, shaking your head and sending him a smile. “I was just feeling nervous about getting away this weekend and Emma was talking me down. That’s it.”

“Ah,” Max yawned, heading back to his seat and patting his lap for you to join him. You blushed. “Is that why you’re acting so weird? You haven’t spoken to me for the last, like twenty-five minutes.”

“Yeah, sorry, just nervous,” you insisted, climbing back over Abi’s seat and settling yourself on top of Max’s lap. As you looked up after readjusting, your eyes met Emma’s in the rearview mirror and she nodded, looking from you to Max’s…well…yeah. 

You cleared your throat, feeling the burn of your phone in your pocket as you stared widely back at her, conveying that she was being way too obvious, here. Regardless, a part of you was…curious, now, and with Laura out of the picture and Max completely single, it’s not like a little testing of the waters was inappropriate anymore. What could it hurt, really? Max was too nice to reject you, so if he wasn’t into it, he just wouldn’t say anything and you’d let it go forever. But, if he really was into it—

Well that was the best-case scenario, wasn’t it?

So, you shifted; nothing crazy and nowhere close to grinding—just a small, flick of the hips that brushed right up against his crotch. Max’s breath hitched and you froze, wondering if you’d truly heard that right, completely distracted from the fact that Abi and Nick were re-entering the car and that Jacob was starting it again, getting ready to head on the road once more. 

A hitch of a breath wasn’t enough of a confirmation for you, so you shifted once again, and then again and then again, and this time Max’s hands lifted back up to your hips, grasping for dear life as you settled your ass back down to his crotch, turning your head to watch as his eyes shut tight and he bit his lip.

“Y/n—”

“Do you want to watch part of a movie with me?” You interrupted, watching as Max’s eyes flashed open, a glint of pain underneath them that had you second-guessing what had just happened. Max smiled down at you, though—that brilliant smile that God had blessed him with—and nodded.

You had no idea what you were going to watch, but your fingers worked anyway, hurriedly typing some stupid TikTok compilation that you hoped he wouldn’t get too distracted by. Max laid his chin on your shoulder, his hands that were gripping your waist winding around your front and interlocking as he held you, his face snuggling slightly into your neck.

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, your mind reiterated as you slowly breathed out, your heart pounding wildly in your chest as you silently prayed that Max couldn’t hear it, and that he couldn’t feel the way that your skin had suddenly heated up and become sweaty. It wasn’t even that cuddling with Max was anything new—as a person, he was a fucking lapdog—but it was the fact that you had never sat on his fucking lap before while cuddling. Never had intentions to turn him on, never gave him this much of a glance down your lowcut shirt—

Y/n, don’t be a pussy, your inner Emma chastised and you shut your eyes tight and sucked in a breath, desperately trying to convince yourself not to go through with this. But damn it—you sort of wanted to and, so far, Max hadn’t shown a single sign that he’d wanted you to sit anywhere else. 

It was halfway through the video that you forgot the rest of the people in the car and arched backward without a minute to second guess yourself, pretending to stretch your arms above your head as you knew you were, successfully, letting Max have a perfect show of your black lacy bra underneath your shirt, and under that, the perfectly rounded mounds of breasts that it pushed up.

You heard a sharp inhale and dared a look at his face; he was as white as a ghost, and even his perfectly placed freckles had gone impossibly paler—and yet his eyes, those gorgeously sea-colored orbs, were still staring down your shirt, transfixed, as he studied your figure. 

“Alright, everybody out!” Jacob suddenly called out, and the two of you jumped, Max’s eyes meeting yours as he was brought back to reality. His eyes, no longer clouded over with lust, widened and a blush spread unevenly across his face as he realized that he’d been caught watching you. “We’re here!”

“Y/n,” Max breathed out, whipping his arms away from you and running nervous hands through his newly cut hair. “Shit, Y/n, I’m so sorry, I—I wasn’t—I mean I was but…” You smiled as he stuttered along, a giggle framing your mouth and escaping out of your lip, causing Max’s gaze to whip back onto you. You couldn’t help it; he was always so damn cute when he was flustered.

“Does it make it any less creepy if I’m aware that staring down your shirt is creepy?” Max asked, equal parts timid and teasing. You laughed aloud at that, the two of you lingering in the backseat of the car while the rest of the party headed out. 

“It’s fine, Max,” you insisted with a shrug and a wink, conveying in every way possible that you weren’t completely innocent here either. “No one wears a bra like this for it not to be seen, sweetheart.” 

The words coming out of your mouth shocked even you, and Max’s entire jaw fell open as he stared at you in complete and utter disbelief. 

“Whoa, Y/n,” he reared away from you, just to get a better look at your face, testing to see if you were saying what he thought that you were saying. His hands found their way to your waist again and he touched you softly, his thumbs running up and down the curves of your hipbones as he stared in wonder down at you. “Are you saying that you wanted me to—”

“Are you two gonna get out of the car, or do you plan on freezing your little asses off all night?!” Jacob called out as he forced open the trunk of the car, staring in disbelief at the two of you still sitting there. You both jumped, eyes turning to Jacob with guilty blushes, and you didn’t waste another second climbing off of Max and over the seats, pushing your way past Jacob and onto the dirt-clodded driveway. 

Taking your bag from your cousin and asking a hurried, “Where’s our cabin again?” You received directions and hurried off in the direction of the cabin that you and Emma were supposed to share, attempting to outrun Max so that he couldn’t question you any further.

What the hell had you been thinking?! You hadn’t, obviously, and you’d let Emma’s skewed opinion get to you. Now, you had to come up with a solution for some serious damage control before Max got to you with his, What’s gotten into you today? And his, Look, I know you must have been kidding, or his I’m sorry Y/n, I’m just not attracted to you that way—

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, throwing open the door to the cabin and chucking your suitcase onto the empty bed. Emma was standing on the other side of the room, facing the bathrooms, but she jumped and turned around when she heard the slam of the front door. “Fuck this whole plan, Emma, and fuck my stupid self too. I can’t believe that I actually let myself believe that Max was really into me and I—holy shit, are you crying?!?”

Emma’s pretty hazel eyes were red-rimmed, but the telltale giveaway that she’d been sobbing was the tear tracks of black mascara spreading down her cheeks and clumping up near her pointy chin.

Once her mind had registered your question, she began sobbing once again, her hands coming up to cover her eyes and you ran to her, throwing your arms around her neck and feeling her own arms go around your waist as she sobbed into your neck heartily. 

“Honey, what happened?” You asked, but your voice was muffled by your much taller friend’s collarbone. You pulled away from her and sat her down on her bed, sitting down next to her and taking her hand in yours. “Emma, what did my idiot cousin say to you? You know that big dummy acts completely on emotions, so whatever he said, I’m sure it was just in the heat of the—”

“He meant it,” Emma interrupted you, pulling her hand out of yours and using it to wipe her eyes. “But I don’t even want to talk about it right now, so—tell me what happened with Max.” You opened your mouth to protest but she shot you her “Emma” look—the look that told you that arguing would quite literally be pointless. So, you sighed, letting yourself fall backward onto the bed and groaning as your head hit the awfully lumpy mattress she’d been provided tonight.

“I don’t know what happened, Emma,” you admitted with a whine, feeling her lay down beside you and cuddle her head into yours comfortingly. “It was like I had this sudden, insane boost of confidence and I was like…grinding on him and giving him a full show of my boobs—”

“You do have great boobs—”

“And then when he noticed that I caught him staring at my breasts, I kindofsortofmaybe insinuated that I wanted him to look down my shirt and then he was about to ask me if I really meant that I wanted him to see me naked and then Jacob interrupted us and I freaked out and ran away.”

Emma just stared back at you, blinking occasionally, as if she were really confused.

“Why?” She finally asked, staring down at you in confusion. You blinked back at her, shaking your head bewilderedly. 

“Wait, why what?”

“Why did you run away, you fucking dumbass!” Emma insulted, but it was loving and the two of you laughed as she pushed you off the bed and you squealed. “Seriously, Y/n, what the fuck? You ran away? After doing all of that you just ran?”

“I was scared!” You defend your actions with a hiss, pulling yourself up off of the floor and planting down next to her again. “Fuck, Emma, Max is my best friend. I cannot risk freaking him out and losing him, okay? I just…can’t, okay, he means…he means everything to me, Emma, he’s the most important person in the whole world. He’s my best friend.”

“Ouch,” Emma responded, but there was a fond smile on her face and a happy gleam in her eyes as she gazed down at you. “Babes, you know that you’re the most important thing in the world to him too, right? Even if he didn’t feel the same way about you, he wouldn’t let this ruin your friendship. You know that, right?” 

You shrugged and looked away from her, playing with your hands as you avoided the question. Did you know that? No, not really. Yeah, the two of you were really close, and yeah, he spent most of his free time with you, but that didn’t mean that this wasn’t something that would freak him out enough to ghost you.

“Shit, if I was going to do something as fucking ridiculous as this, I should have just bit the and told him how I felt,” you finally responded with a sigh, pushing yourself off of the bed and shuffling your feet over the cold, hardwood floor. “But you know, maybe this way, there’s some way that I can play it off?”

“Okay babes, I’m just going to say this once and I’m going to say it outright,” Emma cut you off, standing in front of you and forcing your chin up to look your much taller friend in the eyes. “I know why they broke up, Y/n. The real reason, and if you just fucking ask me I will tell you right here, right now.”

The offer was, obviously, tempting; and two or three years ago you’d probably be a lesser person and taken that offer. As it was, though, you valued Max and his privacy, and if he’d wanted you to know, he would have told you himself. 

“No, I don’t want to know,” you insisted, pursing your lips and pulling away from Emma. “It isn’t any of my business, and Max made that abundantly clear by not telling me inthe first place.”

“Of fucking course,” Emma groaned with a shake of her head, rolling her eyes at you and then fixing you with a glare. “The two of you are both so stupid.”

“Gee, thanks Em.” Your words fell flat as you shot her your own sharp look and she gulped, having the common decency to at least look like she felt bad for saying what she did. “Besides, why do you even know the reason Laura dumped him?”

“Laura didn’t dump Max—Max dumped Laura,” Emma clarified and your heart dropped into your stomach. The piece of news, realistically, probably should have made you feel better, but it didn’t. It only made you feel worse, like your heart had been stomped on and used up. Because—if that was true—if Max had dumped Laura—then why had he been so upset that night when he came over to your house? And why the fuck had he lied to you about it?

“What?” You asked, your voice tiny and fragile, and Emma looked back at you, confused. 

“Max broke up with Laura,” Emma repeated, and was somehow completely missing the broken, wounded look that was written all over your face. “He dumped her, because he wasn’t in love with her, Y/n, he realized that he was—”

“Emma.” 

Jacob’s voice pierced through the air, and the two of you jumped towards the sound, to where your cousin was currently glaring daggers towards your best friend. Emma immediately shut up, shooting you a guilty look as she moved farther away from you and towards Jacob. 

“Y/n, can you please give us a moment?” Jacob asked, his throat froggy and having to clear it as he continued staring at Emma. When you saw the raw, heated look pass between them you excused yourself quickly, knowing that whatever feud they were having was about to be made up in tenfold. You forgot to bring your suitcase with you—not even thinking that you’d effectively be kicked out of your cabin for the night—as you ran outside, outside to the nothingness that awaited you.

No, seriously.

There was not a soul out here, Abi and Nick notably missing and Max even nowhere to be seen—not that you even wanted to see him right now anyways. Your heart was barely beating in your chest at the revelation that he’d lied to you—you, supposedly his closest friend—about something that was so huge. Then again, maybe he had no idea how huge it was to you. He didn’t at all, actually, because he had no idea that you were so annoyingly and stupidly in love with him. 

“Fuck this day, and fuck everyone else,” you groaned to yourself as you plopped down on a metal bench under a canopy, covering your eyes with your hands as you whined. 

“That an invitation?” 

Max’s voice sent your blood running cold and you jumped, shocked, turning yourself towards him as he stood slightly behind you, watching you warily. His face was red, but he was smiling at you, and he made his way over and sat at the bench opposite you slowly. 

The two of you stared at each other for a while—one of you, optimistically nervous, and the other of you having had your heart shattered into a million little pieces just ten minutes ago. Neither of you said anything, unsure of what exactly you should say, for a long time until finally, Max broke the silence.

“Y/n,” Max spoke, clearing his throat from the nervousness that threatened to choke and overtake him. “About what you said in the car—”

“You lied to me.” 

You hadn’t intended for it to come out like that, but there it was, and there was no taking it back now. 

Max reared back, astonishment registering across his perfect features. 

“I—what?” He shook his head back and forth, as if he couldn’t quite comprehend what you were saying. “I lied about—about the car?”

“No Max, not about the fucking car!” You swore, rising from your seat in your anger. Max followed quickly, a gentle hand on your elbow that you quickly ripped out of his grasp. “You lied to me about—about Laura! You told me that she—that she broke up with you, Max! You were heartbroken, you were crying, you lied!” 

You thought that there were tears streaming down your face but you couldn’t really tell at the moment. All you could feel was the adrenaline that was being fueled by your anger, and all you could see was the shock that hadn’t left Max’s face since you’d first spoken. 

“Who told you that?” Max questioned, and the fact that he wasn’t denying it made you even more upset and you huffed, turning around on one heel and heading towards—fuck, you had absolutely nowhere to go.

“Does it matter?” You answered, turning back around and accepting the fact that the only way you were going to get to be alone was if Max went back to his cabin and left you here and, knowing him, that wasn’t likely to happen. “You lied, Max. And I’m pissed about it. That’s the only thing that you should care about.”

You still hadn’t turned around to face him, so he made his way in front of you instead, placing tentative hands on both of your arms and levelling his face with yours. 

“Sweetheart, please look at me.” Fuck; you were weak anytime that Max called you sweetheart and you knew that he knew it, too. Hating yourself just a little bit more for it, you looked up at him, unaware of how your big, sad eyes caused every cell in his body to melt. 

“Why did you lie to me?” The question slipped through your lips without your consent and Max sighed, releasing your arms and pressing a hand into your hip so that you couldn’t get away again. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Max answered simply and you reared back, out of his touch, away from his hold, as you scoffed in response.

“You didn’t want to hurt me?” You shrieked, pulling farther away from him and pushing your hands out in front of you to stop him when he tried to reach out for you again. “What the fuck—how the fuck would that have hurt me, Max?”

Max winced, running a nervous hand through his hair, and inspected his surroundings, as if he wished somebody else would come out any minute now. 

“Y/n, you are my best friend,” Max pleaded, and you could see the desperation in his eyes but you had no idea why he was so upset. “You know me better than anybody else in this entire world, honey, please—can you give me the benefit of the doubt on this one? Can you let me tell you when I’m ready?”

“No, Max, obviously I cannot do that because obviously it has something to do with me!” You retorted sharply, angry tears burning hot at the corners of your eyes, hotter than normal, devastated tears. “Like—what is going on, Max? I hae this feeling that everybody’s in on this secret, everybody but me—and I should know it, I should know what’s going on with you—”

“Y/n, sweetheart!” Max interrupted again, and this time, he successfully gathered your hands into his. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I lied—really I am, but—why is it so important to you?” You glared back at him, pulling your hands out of his grasp and beginning to walk away from him. “Why is it such a big deal that I didn’t tell you the whole truth?”

“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot!” You screamed back at him, your body turning back around on its own accord as the screech left your mouth. You both heard the words echo against a canyon somewhere, and you blanched, unaware of what you’d actually said and the weight of them until they hit you in the chest on the reverb.

Max’s mouth had dropped open and he stepped away from you in shock, his hands coming up to frame his cheeks, never making actual physical contact with his face. He stared back at you, his eyes wide and full of wonder, as if he were seeing you for the first time, all over again. 

“You’re—” Max gulped, but he took a step closer to you, a smile adorning his freckled cheeks. “You’re in love with me? Really?”

Your heart sunk again when he spoke and you shook your head, backing away from him and pressing two fingers to the bridge of your nose as you suddenly felt an oncoming migraine. 

“I’m sorry Max,” you apologized, feeling a bout of nausea spring up in your stomach as you realized that you’d just past the point of no return. “Shit, I’m so sorry, I should have never even said anything—I should have let it go—”

“I broke up with Laura because I’m in love with you.”

The words came out quickly, like Max was afraid that if he hadn’t said them as quickly as he did that he wouldn’t say them at all. You reaction was surprisingly slow compared to everything else you’d done in haste tonight, and you dropped your hands from your face and gazed up at the man in front of you, who was staring back at you with awe. 

“W—what?”

“I love you,” Max repeated, taking another step towards you with his light, airy chuckle that you loved so damn much. “And I didn’t tell you that night I broke up with Laura because I thought that you’d think I was lying, or that you were a rebound, and you’re not, Y/n. You’re absolutely not—I’ve loved you for a long enough time that I’m a total asshole for letting it go on with Laura for as long as I did.”

“Then why—why did you—”

“I lied because I didn’t want you to think that any of this was your fault,” Max continued, and he was so close now that his arms were winding around your waist and his forehead was pressed to yours. “I just—I knew, the second I saw you again in that coffee shop, that it was fate. And I lied to myself, hoping that my relationship would just fizzle out on its own and that I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone but—fuck, I would break Laura’s heart a thousand times over if it meant that I might get to be with you in the end,” Max finished, and you were stunned silent, unaware of how to speak anymore. 

“Do I—” Max took a sharp inhale of breath and a step back to assess your face. “Do I get you in the end?”

You smiled back at him before pressing your lips so tightly to his, wrapping your body so hard around his own, that the two of you could barely breathe in anything that wasn’t lingering on each other’s bodies. 

“You had me,” you answered in between breathless kisses, in between promises, in between hopeful smiles. “You had me at the beginning.”

if you liked this cheesy shit, check out my multichapters!

if you'd like to join any of my taglists, dm me!

FOREVER TAGLIST:

@house-of-kolchek @lorebite @yeslieutenant @kassiekolchek22 @buttermykolchek @kawaiiwitch224 @ageofbajabule

#max brinly x reader #the quarry x reader #the quarry #max brinly #max the quarry

[b33anie]

Here’s a little art dump/character sketches (most are in the design process):

Ok so no idea where I got the idea for Calli but yeah here she is (in my own little story/universe thingy she’s technically a non-canon character i guess??)

I love Gemini on the Lunar and Earth show so I wanted to think out my own idea for my own zodiac sign (I did research on the characteristics and the constellation and the story behind it instead of schoolwork so that was fun, and even though I don’t really do the horoscope stuff apparently 9, 18, 27, etc are important years for an aries and 2018 was the year I got diagnosed with T1D so thats nice)

This is Iris, I was bored and wanted more oc’s so they’re in the design process :D

This is Comet (Cozmo’s twin) I genuinely have no idea what to do for their outfit to express/match their personality so I’ve been having trouble getting their design down, but I decided to just suck it up and if it doesn’t turn out right I can just try again

Idk I wanted a fluffy-ish oc, so I have a bit planned out for Polar and they’re kinda relaxed personality-wise so I thought they’d make a good nursery caretaker

Not all of it is directly related to TSaMS but I probably end up incorporating things from the show without noticing anyways because hyperfixating sucks sometimes

(I definitely haven’t procrastinated on posting these because my art feels different and I’m more insecure when it’s a character I’m making myself instead of making fanart of a character that already exists)

Also sorry the image quality is absolutely butchered, I’m having transferring issues between my artpad and phone

#digital art #fanart #procreate #art #tsams #sun and moon show #dca fandom #fnaf dca #fnaf security breach #tsams fanart #fnaf oc #sams oc #ocs #tsams oc #original character #the sun and moon show #lunar and earth show #the lunar and earth show #gemini tsams #wheeeeeeee im scared lmao #b33anie #fnaf #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sb #tsams au #sams

[virgil-isnt-a-lee]

Kinda been procrastinating on this post for a hot minute but since I'm sick and icky, I guess I have time to sit and make it, yeah? God I'm never gonna live this down..

IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ONE Y'ALL

Okay so me and a certain someone were playing truth or dare, and like the bitch I am, I chose dare. And you KNOW WHAT THE DARE WAS??

"Ask someone you’re cool with IRL to tickle you 🙂" WHAT

WHAT WHAT WHAT?? EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS. SO I HAD TO THINK IT OVER. THEN THAT BLOCKHEAD SAYS TO ME

"Bonus points if you ask the one who said they know you love it" YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT.

Then I was proposed an offer I literally couldn't refuse SO I TOOK THE DARE and I'm gonna tell you pookies how it went because it's been stewing in my brain for the last two days

So it STARTED when we were in math class and my friend (y'all know the one by now. Resident tickle monster. Mal knows his name, too) was already poking at my sides, which is expected of him by now, so I just looked at him and said "so are you gonna tickle me or not?" and he like looked at me, shrugged, and said "since you asked." AND I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE YK I HAD TO BE CHILL ABOUT IT CAUSE I GOT A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN. So he like, put his arm around my waist, pulled my over to him, and just started like SHAKING HIS HANDS INTO MY RIBS AND I WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING DYING I WAS SO GLAD THE CLASSROOM WAS LOUD AS HELL because at one point even the teacher looked over at me and kinda rolled his eyes fondly. ANYWAYS

After that we were in my next class together, and I KINDA knew I didn't REALLY finish my dare and I was thinking about it, apparently I was thinkin real hard cause he pokes my back and goes "alright what's up? You good? You're distracted. Like more distracted than usual, what is it?" And I was like DAMN??? WAS IT THAT OBVIOUS?? LIKE EXCUSE ME??

SO I TOLD HIM "can you like.. tickle me again? Idk I just kinda feel like it." AND HE JUST SHRUGGED AGAIN AND STARTED SQUEEZING MY SIDES AND SHIT and it's worse cause he sits BEHIND ME in that class so I was just like dying with my head in my hands and mdjfjdjfjsjd. That's it. And he LITERALLY SAID "You're welcome." When he was done???? HELL. I QAS SO FUCKIN FLUSTERED BUT LIKE HE DIDN'T MAKE ANY REAL COMMENTS ON IT

#HELLLLLL #HELP #I WAS JUST SO #MAJDNAJDJS #onyxs tag #fucking punk #sfw tickle community #sfw tickles #irl tickles i guess #storytime tag?? #virgil speaks #more like virgil grumbles but whatever

[12romy]

Thanks @sebchal for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Oof. 57, damn that's a lot, what am I doing with my life?? 53 of them in F1 (I know it says 52 but one of them is on anon lmao)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

GUYS I JUST COUNTED AND APPARENTLY I'VE PUBLISHED AROUND 477K FOR THE F1 FANDOM??!!??! SEND HELP (there's another 100k in my wips rn)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

F1rpf, although I have a fic for The Sandman and one for Our Flag Means Death (let's forget about my works for spn lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

So the first one is Odd ducks, the fic I wrote for The Sandman, which is pretty normal since the fandom is bigger. After that, only F1, with Let's try something else (sewis fake dating feat Seb and gay panic), A Change of Habits (my lonnnnnnng chewis fic following the 2022 season), Your Crush is Showing (Brocedes, the first long fic I completed. Lots of smut.) and finally, Remember to forget (me), brocedes lewis!amnesia fic. I am very proud of the last one, mostly because it's super angsty and I torture Nico so much in it lmao

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, actually, but usually I procrastinate on it, and I took ages. It's just, like, I feel it important to thank everyone for the comments, but it can feel a little repetitive and so I just tend to... Push it back to the next day, again and again. When it's on a multi-chapter fic, I reply before publishing the new chapter usually, but if it's a one-shot or the last chapter... Well. You'll get an answer but god knows when ahah

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof, that's between Losing it all, a really dark fic about Nico, and Too Late, a bad ending 3344 fic based on Monza 2021 :)

(be careful about the tags if you go and read them btw)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Damn, that's a difficult question, I love writting sappy endings... But actually I think it's the ending of Welcome in the family!

It's a cute fic about Kimi/Tonio/Minttu, and the ending is definitely what I consider one of the happiest, mostly because of a little time-jump that allows to see the future ^^

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did once, actually, on the 3344 fic I mentionned earlier. I think the person was just a max fan and didn't appreciate the way I make him suffer... I had put the write tags and all, so idk why they clicked on it. Anyway, it was scary and upsetting and I'm glad it only happened once ^^"

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah. Go have a look, honestly, there's no way I can summarise it. I write way too much of it, I think (and most of it hasn't been published yet I think)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, but I should, it could be fun! Actually, I'd like to write a Lewis/Lil Nas X one day, so who knows. That's not at the top of my list, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I... Don't know, actually? How do you even check that? I hope not ahah ^^"

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Someone offered to translate one of my fic in Chinese!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I DID, The Prince and the Knight, with my wonderful @feuerspirit !!!!!! And I don't want to spoil, but me and @metheevilgenius miiiiight publish a little os at some point ;)

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Oh, such a hard question... I'll go with brocedes, but it's really mean to make me chose only one. They're just.... *siiiigh*

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Definitely this BDSM seb/charles/mick and lewis/pierre I have started. I didn't publish it and it's like 20k long but I'm completely stuck and haven't worked on it in a long time. Not totally happy with it either ^^"

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh, good question? I don't know, I get compliments about the characterisation... But other than that, I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humour and I'm able to make people laugh (or like, I hope. I make myself laugh, which is a good begining)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The fucking dialogues.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to use petnames in other languages cause petnames always feel more personnal when you use it in your own language. So with the F1 drivers, it's nice cause not all of them are english! I tend to put some German or some French sometimes in my fics for full sentences, but I try not to do it too much. If you don't understand the language, it can be very frustrating.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Time to dig up my old ff.net account lmao

Nah, actually, I remember very well of my first fic. I was 15, it was two pages long, I was feeling bad about writing a fic in the first place although it didn't involve any romance. I deleted it a few hours after posting it, ahah. It was for the fandom of a french youtube show called Aventures. It's like, people playing a dnd style game, it's pretty cool and I was really into it for a long time.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

The fic I love the most of is definitely Up or Down. It's one of my favourite fic I've wrote. It's one of my early work, so it's a little clumsy and far from perfect, but I have good memories of myself writing it. I was in vacation in Rome at the time, alone, and I spent my time wandering in the city and thinking about my fic, it was amazing. And well, the content of the fic is also nice I guess XDDD

-

noooo idea who did this thing, and who didn't, so ignore if you've already done it or don't want to! I tag @feuerspirit @n-ico-ando @sunshinesebby @sionisjaune

#ask game #it was fun! #my writing #my fics

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

So. Here’s a lil story.

I participate in the Malec Secret Santa every year. And every year I’m a master procrastinator and sit down and write out my fic in the last 2-3 days, maybe a week if we’re being generous (and I never learn, but that’s not the point of this story)

This year, however, things were different. I’m in the middle of Pre-finals right now, and the week of the Secret Santa deadline I was swamped with college work and record submissions (cause apparently, my professors are all also Master Procrastinators who waited till the last minute to let us know what to write in those records).

Anyway, I was overworked, I was tired, and I had no idea what to write for the Secret Santa. I made a few false starts and decided to go for a fluffy strangers to lovers college au. It might’ve been 3k if I’d written it out completely.

I didn’t. It was a hard fic to write. I didn’t have any idea about the plot, just that I wanted it to be what I wrote above, and I knew it had to be Magnus POV and I had a certain characterisation for Alec in mind.

But uhm, anyways. Plot didn’t work. I didn’t vibe with the characterisations. Fic was supposed to be a fluffy wintery slow burn, with Malec meeting multiple times at college and slowly falling (while being oblivious dumbasses ofc) and finally somehow ending up together. 500 words in, I reread through it and I was like.

This is boring, uninspired crap.

No, really. There’s no conflict. All the tension is forced. Heck, the fic itself feels forced. One tiny part of me was like, hey, maybe that’s the point of this story, maybe some love stories are just… simple and boring. It’s realistic right? We can write a monologue about it in the end?

I hated that too.

I ended up ditching the fic, and got to studying, while the deadline still loomed over me. And then, I got this lil idea, of a coffee shop and rivals to lovers. It was a tiny idea, just two scenes long, but hey it was still better than what I’d been writing before and I don’t have the time anyway. I sat down and wrote it, and it came out about 1.5k long. I submitted it in, and well, here’s the comments on it so far

I… really don’t know what it means that every single comment mentions the word count (and none of them are negative!! It’s like. I made something that matters in a very small word count. That’s something)

Anyway, I think there’s a few lessons to be learnt here-

1. Word count doesn’t matter, the words do. It’s okay if your works lean towards shorter word counts, as long as you enjoyed writing these, as long as it meant something to you and to the readers.

2. If you’re not enjoying writing something - ditch it!! It’s completely okay.

Idk if I managed to articulate my thoughts properly. I’m probably rambling. But uhm yeah. Happy writing!!

P.S if you haven’t read my Secret Santa fic yet, you can do so here

#don’t mind me ramblings

[l3o-lion]

Whats your favourite thing about pigeons?? I like that they can kind of spell words, but idk if thats my favourite thing. I like that they are domesticated animals 🥺

FINALLY getting around to this! So sorry for procrastinating answering this, I really wanted to, adhd just fucked me over.

There are so many things i adore about pigeons, it's hard to pick a favourite..

Physical attributes i like are: Their cheeks, they're so fucking cute. I adore when their feathers go all the way down to their feet, it's like they're wearing pants!! And their shiny feathers are just so pretty. I also love how fluffy and soft they are, and how warm they are on the belly and under the wings. Can't forget that they smell weirdly good too?? Apparently this is A Thing among bird lovers, i don't know much about it but a lot of birds smell good for some reason, and pigeons are definitely no exception. I don't get the opportunity to get that close very often ofc. Their eyes are so pretty too.

Oh and they are surprisingly expressive imo!

I love how you can feel the comfort and trust they put in you when they're sitting on you with one leg lifted up, fluffed up into a loaf and blinking slowly.

Actually i think I know my favourite thing about them now; Even though they are generally disliked by people they are still willing to give you a chance if you just put some effort into treating them well. And that is just so tragically beautiful i think. I feel so honoured every single time one of them shows me any sort of trust.

Thank you so much for this ask <3<3

#asks #og leo post #pigeons #my flock

[mr-independent]

What time is it y'all? That's right! It's time for me to procrastinate moving house by doing more rewatch notes. I dedicate this to the 4 of you who have been liking every single one of these posts almost immediately after they're up. Love y'all ❤️

Without further Ado: EP 9 - the introduction of Roy 'The Grouch' Kent, aka the '~ooooo Rebecca's in trooouuuble~' episode

-- Roy is literally Oscar the Grouch and i love it. Obviously in this metaphor Ted is Elmo and Dani is Abby or Rosita? No i will not be taking any questions.

-- Ted literally seeing Roy beating himself up and saying to himself 'Kent can self correct, no need to add to the pity party' and honestly yeah that's the best way to go about it. Trust your players to trust themselves (i think they say this outright later? That Ted sees the players like his kids bc he can't direct them during the match, just teach them in training and hope they learned to make the right decisions on the pitch)

-- little girls are mysterious silly and powerful, that's exactly right.

-- ah yes the No Secrets Are Secret kit room. One of my fav tropes actually.

-- Trent Crimm, The Daily Planet ❤️ sorry no notes I'm in love with this silver haired queer and mentally kick my feet and wrap a phone cord around my finger whenever he comes up

-- teeth marks on your butt you have to pay for? Beard absolutely spent the first free night he had in Richmond finding the best bdsm club

-- Rebecca talks like Ted when she's nervous and that's fucking hilarious to me

-- Higgins has an oral fixation, fine, but so does whoever wrote this episode. The teeth marks in the butt, the nibbled pen caps, etc etc

-- this series really is the Rebecca gets her ass handed to her every episode. Rupert is nearly 70 and having a child just to spite her? Fucking rough. Does start the foundation for the fertility stuff in the newest series tho

-- Rebecca set up the interview with Trent.....setting a guy up huh? Wonder if she knew Trent was gay?

-- Ted forgiving Rebecca for her bullshit is just him forgiving himself!! Letting himself be angry and sad and upset about his divorce by letting Rebecca be shitty and be forgiven!!! I love an emotionally healthy apology scene

-- fuck i forgot about Higgins goatee it's fucking hideous who let him do that

-- everyone reacting to Roy's problems with some variation of 'stop being a whiny little bitch' is so fucking funny

-- also Keeley met Phoebe five seconds ago and already they're partners in crime ❤️

-- the pub boys comforting Beard is so cute. It really shows that as much as they razz the coaches they really do care about them as people

-- Beard saying that relegation means they've accomplished nothing..... Idk what that says yet that he stays in Richmond once they do get relegated but it's gotta say something

-- drunk Ted is so fucking funny. They should let him get drunk more often. *Chest bump* 'rest in peace Socrates?'

-- ITS THE TRENT CRIMM DAUGHTER EPISODE he told her weeks ago he'd bring biscuits. He met Trent's daughter before the end of their first season. This is a revelation and also adorable. Also puts Ted's words at the front of the episode in a different perspective. The last little girl he probably talked to was Trent's daughter, who is apparently silly mysterious and powerful which. Still true. Still fair

#ted lasso #teddy rewatches ted #trent crimm #tedependent #<sorry guys i gotta #yes this was also a poignant tedbecca episode but i gotta say I love shipping middle aged men. its my calling.

[the---hermit]

2023 Jumbo challenge update #1

First update for this insane challenge. I have no idea how far I will be able to go with this one, but I'll try my best to find books that fit the prompts.

As usual all individue book reviews are linked in the titles below.

Monsters by Christopher Dell for the poetry or non-fiction prompt:

This not only was my first non-fiction book of the year, it's also the first book off the list of unread stuff I have owned for years. I had only every broswed the book for its images, but it was a fun read overall. It's a really generic work on monsters in mythology and folklore all over the world, and it was really cool to see so many historical illustrations and works of art. It's a gorgeous little object I am very happy to own and finally have read.

The Sandman vol.8 Worlds' End by Neil Gaiman for the name of a place in the title promt:

I couldn't pick a specific place so I just picked the world, or more precisely worlds. Jokes aside I had no book with names of places in my current tbr so this was the best fit I could find. This volume of the series was very much centered around sharing stories, which I loved.

100 Hugs by Chris Riddell for the title starting with your initial prompt:

I know it's another stretch to fit the prompt, kind of (this year apparently I am adding that to my brainding idk), but hear me out. I have the Italian translation of the book which is "Cento Abbracci" my name is Cris so it works. I had to include this book in one of the challenges of the year because it's just too cute. It's simply a collection of illustrations of hugs, and it's so heartwarming I don't have words for it. It went straight into my comfort book pile.

Il Segreto Del Bosco Vecchio by Dino Buzzati for the recommended by a friend prompt:

I looked for an English translation of the book but I couldn't find it. The title could be translated as the secred of the old wood. Not only this book was recommended to me by my best friend, but my copy was gifted to me by her. Unfortunately I was pretty disappointed by the book and struggled to finish it.

Cain's Jawbone by Torquemada for the intimidating book prompt:

I chose to include this book for this specific prompt since I procrastinated reading it because I was intimidated by it ever since I bought it. It's like I realized it was actually difficult to work on only after I got it from the bookstore. At the moment I am still working on it although I have finished my first read of the book. It's a really good past time, and despite it being hard to do it's pretty fun.

#studyblr w/knives reading challenge #studyblr w/knives reading challenge: jumbo 2023 #jumbo challenge #reading challenge #challenge update #reading #bookblr #booklr #studyblr #book recs #book recommendations #book reviews #bookish #book #mine #the---hermit

[usersasaki]

hello tumblr user usersasaki 🫵 you will never know who i am! (or who knows lol hi karma <3) this anon has been looking into getting into orv but keeps procrastinating like they do on many other things and so asks you, one of their resident orv likers they know, to uh. idk. but feel free to ramble on about why you like orv so much & why someone should get into it (like me!) so maybe i can finally be convinced to read it Now instead of putting it off for later again and again !! ... or something like that 🥺✨

OK GUYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS IS NOT A DRILLLLL AAAAA HELLO U BEAUTIFUL PERSON I THINK IK WHO U ARE BUT RN I'M SO READY TO CRUSH U IN A BIG HUG REGARDLESS OF THAT

ahem. yes. anyways. i'm totally normal abt this, i totally didn't go feral for a few moments before i started typing this. OK BUT I'M SO READY TO TRY TO CONVINCE U TO READ THIS CUZ WHEN I SAY THIS WEBTOON + WEBNOVEL HAS CHANGED ME ENTIRELY. pls bear with me, giving me a chance to word vomit was not a good idea /hj. i'll put everything under the cut :] and i'll try to keep everything as spoilerless as possible so that u can safely enjoy the story when u get to it

i will apologise in advance for the person i've become, this might end up becoming a HUGE post (edit: i think it did, this is apparently at a lil more than 2k words rn cuz i typed this in google docs for fear of tumblr nuking my entire draft and me having to start all over again)

tldr for those who don't want to go through a 2k essay; orv is for you if you enjoy clean art, stories that will break down your initial expectations and surpass them, and things like found family, love (all kinds), and just an emotional rollercoaster in general. prepare snacks and tissues.

i'll start with the webtoon because that's where it started for me! honestly one of the things i look for most when i start a webtoon is the art. and there are times when even if i like the story, if the art ain't it for me, i'll drop the story 😭💀 but orv has such beautiful and crisp art, very edible art HAHAHA (both webtoon and novel by the way but i'll get to the novel in a bit) it makes me go so O.O sometimes. here's an example of the art, you might've seen it somewhere but i'm still adding it here for the pure beauty of these men named kim dokja and yoo joonghyuk AND ALSO han sooyoung and jung heewon (yes i'm gay, no it's not obvious /j). every character in this webtoon is so well drawn and just. chef's kiss okay, so if you like pretty art, you've got that right here folks.

moving on, the story seems, at first, like a very generic action fantasy webtoon where the world of a novel becomes reality and our mc aka kim dokja is the one who knows how to get to the end and he gets to meet his favourite novel’s protagonist yoo joonghyuk and decides to save the world. but as the story progresses on and on, it becomes so much more than that. the storytelling skills have to be applauded because webtoons can't use lots of words and have to convey things more concisely than their novel counterparts but they've done an amazing job of using the right dialogues in the right places with the right amount of impact. AND as of right now, the story is starting to head towards what i'd like to say is the actual beginning of this webtoon >:) that’s all i can say without spoiling some major things from the novel so,, yeah!

another beautiful part is the portrayal of each of the characters, especially kdj, and their different dynamics with kdj. now kim dokja is our mc and the main narrator of this entire thing so we’re quite limited in that sense because all we see and know is what kim dokja tells us through his narration. a lot of posts have accurately pinned him down as an unreliable narrator because he really only ever shows his companions (and us readers) one part of things and we’re all left to speculate about things. each companion holds a different opinion of kdj but all of them are united in the fact that they trust him to help them get through everything. while the webtoon hasn’t had a chance to explore that yet, i’m looking forward to how they will show it to us :] i’d say that this webtoon is worth a read also because kim dokja is the most mind boggling, intriguing and frustrating character you will ever meet. that’s a fact that’ll get clearer as you get closer to the recent chapters of the webtoon, but i love how he’s relatable in the sense that he both makes me screech in awe but also makes me want to wring his neck with how he is sometimes. i love him *holds him by the neck* (affectionately). oh and when i say every character is just a beautiful piece of art, i mean both their literal art and also the way they’ve been written, though it is more clear in the novel as of right now.

NOW i’m gonna move onto the webnovel because i honestly fell deeper into the rabbit hole purely because of the novel. and sing shong (the author of the webnovel) is an absolute genius for the way they have both intricately and simply pushed a single message throughout the length of the novel. i constantly joke about how reading the orv novel has changed my brain chemistry but i’m not joking most of the time because it really did. in many ways, i’m sure this is a novel i will remember for a very long time to come.

the same points i spoke about for the webtoon stand for the novel as well BUT of course the novel is just immaculately written and it deserves a chance of its own. it’s not that the writing of the novel is extraordinarily fancy or anything, it’s actually quite simple reading without too many complicated words but i think that has a beauty of its own. it’s able to convey what it needs to without having 10 pages of description and that’s awesome to me. there are issues with some things written in the novel but as it isn’t a focus or the point of orv (i got this point from this tumblr post, feel free to read through it if you want to because they have written some great points that can’t be said better by me!), it’s still a novel that entertains you to the fullest.

the characters are admittedly more fleshed out in the novel than the webtoon but that’s because the webtoon is still catching up while the novel is complete (it ended with epilogue chapters but recently the author came out with side stories). the relationships are just very detailed and it gives you a look into not only kim dokja’s head, but also yoo joonghyuk and other characters’ heads as well, though they’re not as common because the majority of the story is in kdj’s point of view. i’ve neglected mentioning other character names so far but kim dokja has a set of the most loyal and sweet and sometimes feral companions besides yoo joonghyuk like yoo sangah, who is someone kdj knew before the novel became their world, jung heewon and lee hyunsung, kdj’s trusty sword and shield, lee gilyoung and shin yoosung, his children (not biological but yes). there’s also lee jihye, an avid yoo joonghyuk follower who insults kdj at every turn but cares for him, and han sooyoung, who is portrayed as a bit of an antagonist or an anti-hero (as far as the webtoon goes anyway wink wink). and a lot of other characters you’ll grow to either love a lot or hate with a passion oR even have your opinion take a whole 180 about as you read on and on, that’s just the kinda novel this is.

don’t even get me started on the underlying themes of this novel. this is me being an english major (and psychology major unintentionally, double major woohoo) through and through but i love analysing characters and figuring out themes that come out through the writing. i won’t go too into the details so that i won’t spoil it for anyone who happens upon this post. but there’s the overarching theme of love; not just romantic love but also platonic love, familial love and the most important one of this novel, self-love. another theme i think is quite relevant and important to this story is more easily relatable to people who read often because it goes into how books can change you BUT you can also change books by reading them over and over again and understanding it better. also how stories can save you but you, as a reader, have the power to save stories by reading them. because in the end, a story continues because you read it. OH I CAN’T FORGET THIS, found family <3 if you’re a fan of found family, this is for you, it’s present throughout the story as a small but encompassing theme.

now this could be just me but i get extremely emotional when it comes to my favourite media, so i squeal with joy at happy parts, sob uncontrollably when sad scenes come up, punch my pillows when something makes me mad⏤ you get my point. and this novel gave me an entire rollercoaster of emotions and made me so URGH in good, bad and ugly ways. it kinda brings me back to my point about kdj being an unreliable narrator since the reason why it gets so hard and sad is because this man never tells anyone anything. he takes it upon himself to do everything, much to the annoyance and despair of his companions and us the readers. we know nothing other than what kdj is willing to tell us, not about his plans, not about him, not about his own feelings. and we’re left to guess and guess until everything is laid bare and then we’re still trying to. process everything. yeah i don’t know if this part is making any sense but i can’t really go into detail without majorly spoiling the story. so you’re gonna have to come back to my post once you’re done to be like “ohhh, right this is what they meant.” /j

To move to a lighter and probably my last point, the novel illustrations are gold i tell you. it’s done by a person named blackbox or bb-nim for short and i love just going through their art for fun. of course, if you’re reading it on a website like i did, then you’re not going to see the illustrations side by side so you should definitely check out blackbox’s twitter which i’ve linked here :] you’ll probably also find their art on pinterest. gorgeous art i tell you, BUT BUT BUT there are spoilers here and there so beware if you go digging through their media tab on their twt. I’ll put some of my favourite pieces that are as non-spoiler as possible under this

so. yeah. these are my reasons for why you should read both the orv webtoon and novel. In the end, all i can say is that if you give them a chance, you’ll probably get hooked just as i did. i knew to a certain extent about how the novel was but nothing prepared me enough but i’m not complaining because it is genuinely so good. i’ll add a list of content warnings here that i got from the wiki page because i don’t want anyone to be ambushed by anything they’re not comfortable with reading: graphic violence, death and murder, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, body horror, dissociation, transphobia (this might be a deal breaker and it would be for me too as a nonbinary person but it’s not a major focus and happens a couple times throughout the story), cephalopods, tentacles (yes these are real content warnings on the wiki HAHAHA), and finally hospitals.

to all of you who actually read this far, thank you! you are a great person for reading through a random person on the internet go on and on about a webtoon and novel, hope you have an awesome day/night ahead of you! if you have any questions about things in the webtoon or novel, feel free to hit me up, i’m always down to have conversations about orv (none of my irls have read it but i will use this essay to convince one of them to give it a chance so wish me luck). anyway, peace out folks! :]

#— asks ☆ #— orv ♡ #omniscient reader #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yeah this is it

[daegall]

hi !! ^^ NOO are you feeling ok?? make sure you’re resting and just taking it slow!! when i’m sick i always rewatch nct life hehehe but work on the doc when you’re feeling better and up to it!!

also HAECHANS BDAY TEEHEE i’m suprised he hasn’t gone on live today (unless i’ve missed it) but i hope he is having the best day fr (HELLO FUTURE PLEASE) i’m actually thinking of getting beatbox but i’m not sureeeeeee- thoughts??

so there’s a lot of public dance groups in my city and like it’s great but gaw damn sometimes i am literally just trying to WALK like i’ve literally missed trains bc i’ve had to go around- maybe i am just a hater at heart but apparently it’s taken super serious and there’s rival groups and stuff from what i’ve heard and i’m like damn are you not just having a good time dancing 🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️

i’m good!! still settling into my new job and trying to balance finals with that so i’ve been super busy but hopefully it calms down soon!! i know it’s gonna be hectic next month tho but just focusing on now i guess!! - no sleep anon <3

HI BAEEE yess!!! im feeling a bit better but my period just HAD to come today </3 felt like shit when i was supposed to go shopping for new clothes for bali ugh </3 my comfort movie rn is clueless!!!! fucking love it and the fashion is just TO DIE FOR

YEAH TIS HIS BDAY BUT........ I REALLY HOPE HE'S ENOYING IT TO THE FULLEST BC HE WAS DIGNOSIED WITH COVID :( HIM AND JAEMIN I REALLY HOPE THEY GET WELL SOON AS WELL AS CHENLE AND JENO SIGH I HATE COVID SM </3

BRO NO ME TOO IM LITERALLY SO CLOSE TO SWITCHING UP TO BEATBOX BC ITS JUST SO GOOD AND VISUALLY PLEASINGGG but at the same time,,,, hello fuutre has such cute pcs and !!!!!!!!!! temporary tattoos!!!!!!!!!!!! so fucking cute man i oggle just thinking about it

aahhh ueah i see why you would feel that :0 idk i've never seen one so im pretty neutral hmm

YASS OGMOGMGMOGMO NEW JOB STILL SO PROUD BBY 10000% DESERVED dw dw i know you'll do great!! good luck in advance for the hectic month babe :0

i am . going to bali next week whooo!!!! trying to get new clothes but im so out of shape rn esp bc of my period like URGHHG WHY NOW BROU I WILL PUNCH YOU but hmm i'm gonna start working out tomorrow (hopefully if i dont fuckign procrastinate) so then i wont look like such a slob LOOOLL

#asks! #no sleep anon ?! #covid tw

[totheblood]

hii!! i'm here for the sleepover :) i was wondering if you'd be able to do a ship (any fandom!) or a song recommendation for me? I'm not sure how detailed you want so I'm just gonna go with it lol

i am kind of reserved and quiet because I have social anxiety but I've been coming out of my shell recently so I've made a few new friends. i like guys and girls and everyone! people are so pretty :). my favorite show is atla and idc that its a kids show its top tier. I'm a celist. my friends say that I'm really nice and "unproblematic" to quote one of them. I'm a people pleaser. i procrastinate but I'm also a perfectionist. my favorite color is green. I'm 5'3. apparently I'm an infp. I'm an aries. I'm good at math but I love writing. i want tons of piercings and tattoos. i want to be a therapist. i like the rain. winter depression hits hard but summer anxiety hits harder. my top artists are doja cat, mitski, BTS, and hozier. i had my first kiss when I was 16 at prom. i'm the therapist friend that everyone worries about. i love people a lot and sometimes it overwhelms them. my love language is physical touch. i like to give compliments. fidget rings are my savior. I've had a skateboard for 3 years but never got around to learning how to ride it. i dance, a lot. i love to sing, even if it doesn't sound very good. i'm overthinking everything i'm writing right now because idk if its too much. anyways i think i'm gonna end it here. i hope it's enough :) thanks!

can i just say u sound the cutest, thank u for participating!

ships. for a ship i see you with loki?? hes such a dick sometimes but i feel like you are the type to be nice to him for like once in his life and he would be like obsessed with you and want your friends and people to stop using you as a therapist. i just feel like he would take it upon himself to make sure you are being taken care of and watched instead of you watching and taking over for everyone.

song rec. for u, u already listen to a lot of artists i like, like mitski, and ps u should check out my fic two slow dancers cause its based off of a mitski song and all the chapters are named after songs and lyrics of hers. but for you i suggest the song "dream boy" by beach bunny. it reminds me of your vibe, just innocent sweet and reminds me of summer!

[lesboslibra]

Hmm interesting chat with the bestie today

Her new love interest/casual partner/potential gf apparently chewed her out for not doing more to help me around the house, particularly dishes (love interest was specifically annoyed she cooked n cleaned up after last night; bestie was doing an art job during that or I think she had finished it already idr) anyways

This is a weird, delicate topic bc while bestie DOES clean n help around house, she tends to procrastinate more than I would like. She deep cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the living room before friends stayed over, but she tends to not really do much cleaning while friends are staying, which looks n feels bad when the guests are helping clean more than she is while they're here. Idk I've tried talking with her about it before n she wasn't super receptive to my ideas or I put, but when love interest talks to her she's down with the same ideas I had. Also I feel like I don't clean enough even tho I'm working an exhausting job, but since the kitchen is in so much better shape I feel like I can actually keep up with dishes again (I try to wash what I use when I'm done with it) Anyways the POINT

I think bestie tends to hear criticism better from people that are not me? I try to be very delicate and conscientious of my words when I bring up shit that bothers me to her, but apparently when other people chew her out it makes her actually think about what she's doing, even tho it hurts her feelings a lot in the process? Idk maybe just. Some ideas or concepts are better heard from people who aren't me. Or it's harder for her to feel like she's doing enough of "her share" if people other than me are pointing out she doesn't seem to be doing enough. Idk I think being around people who are cleaning up more regularly helps, and if we can keep the momentum going things will be fine

It's also v frustrating when I tell her "hey I've talked about this before" and she says no instead.of I don't remember or I changed my.mind lol. Or she'll take me pointing out/empathizing with someone's point when she had an argument with love interest as "taking her side" like bestie NO I'm trying to HELP YOU SEE WHAT SHE WAS SAYING but I do need to remember my primary goal is hearing bestie out and being a confidant. Ahhhhhhh lol life is a weird balance

Also v weird to hear others validate that I do a lot? And it's understandable that I'm tired AF all the time n stressed out

#rambling #delete later

[amrv-5]

10, 20, and 30 for the ao3 asks?? :-) (hi i am also procrastinating)

AHH HELLO ZANE!!! and thank you for your contribution to Chillin Sunday (No Work Zone), where the goal is to chill and not work (essays is temporary, MASH brain is forever)!!!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Okay this was weirdly hard to answer because it turns out the things I thought I started and finished in under a week (Crosswalks, Crossroads and Feeling's Plain to Me) actually were apparently started months before their posting, but most of that was just tooling around with a few images that came to me until I buckled down and finished 'em both in a 4-10 day little May streak of productivity. I think the actual answer going by date-start to date-post is Black Box War, which makes sense 'cause the dialogue moved at a good clip!!

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I think probably Somewhere to Get To, both because it's long as hell (lots to forget and be surprised by, easier to read little chunks and then leave again) and also because there are certain little guilty pleasure moments I find very comforting LOL. I wouldn't call it an optimistic story necessarily* but I'd say it's grudgingly hopeful and tries to be humanist despite its occasional cynicism, which sometimes is nice to read.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

Sappy but the COMMUNITY!!!!!! Writing fic thru 2022 felt mostly like a solo endeavor (little bit shy, not great at engaging online) but partway thru posting S2G2 when I got adopted into the MASHole discord server -- it was such a wonderful, welcome surprise to meet so many passionate people who liked to think about the show how I was thinking abt it, who have great ideas, who are doing amazing writing of their own!!! So much love to everyone I've had the pleasure to get to know thru fandom. Best best surprise.

*I have a lot of thoughts about what sort of philosophical worldview (or views, plural..? Two POV characters, after all...plus the mostly invisible but still present Hand of the Author) S2G2 and SCO adopt with the short answer being even I'm not sure what they're doing, really, or what conclusions they reach. The (arguable) unifying theme of "There were some things a person could fix, and others one had to live with the best they could" isn't all that optimistic, nor is Hawkeye's deeply pragmatic approach to life at the end of S2G2. BJ's the closest we get to optimism, and even he makes some pretty broadly negative statements. But....... IDK!!!! lots 2 consider. lots I assume I will still be trying to puzzle out in S2G2 3: Still Not Started.

#HELLO AND THANKS AGAIN!!! #ask game

[purplesurveys]

1778

Do you ever have days where you just don’t do anything? That's the way my days flow on weekends, for the most part. The only reason I've been more out and about lately is because my dad's home and we do tend to go out as a family more when that's the case.

But, yes. Embracing getting older also means increasingly enjoying my time at home and having no agenda.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? I do it all the time – it's revenge bedtime procrastination and I stick with it whether weeknight or weekend.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I've never seen any bit of that show before.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? Nah.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been stuck in traffic? That was the time I attempted to join Leni Robredo's thanksgiving rally last year. I just needed to drive the same distance from my house to university, but my time in the car ended up being 5 hours because apparently the whole of Metro Manila was headed the same way. Suffice it to say I missed the entire event and just made the most out of my efforts to drive out by going out for drinks with friends instead.

Best field trip experience? All my favorite field trips were the ones that were museum-heavy. In Grade 5 we went to Intramuros and 2-3 other museums in the area; in freshman year of high school we went to two museums in Makati.

Have you ever been to New York City? I have not.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be? I know it's not the urban fairytale the movies make it out to be but I'd still love to have the chance to visit.

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I don't know about individual meals, but my biggest bill was when I took my family to Blackbird and everything came up to a bit over 10k.

What museums have you visited, if any? Well, a lot. I like museums and I even try to visit at least one when I have vacations overseas.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Yes that was quite common especially in college.

What’s your worst traveling experience? It was a plane trip headed to Kuala Lumpur and there was a horrible fucking toddler who cried (read: shrieked) the whole 4 hours. It got increasingly loud and reached an untolerable climax during the latter part when the family needed to strap it in its own seat. I think I may have shed a tear or two myself towards the end...

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Idk I was never a big gamer even of the Sims so I don't really have a favorite.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? We've only had noisy neighbors once but tbh we just let them be because as Filipinos we're largely nonconfrontational. Plus those neighbors moved out after only a few months so things turned out fine.

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? Oh there were a lot! Students these days are very fortunate that the world has softened for them, because in my time it was very common for teachers to wind up being the bullies, and for complaints about them to land in deaf ears. In Grade 4 I had a science teacher who took every opportunity to embarass me publicly; in Year I my history teacher always looked like she wanted to pinch the shit out of me lol; and in Years III and IV I had an English teacher who made me feel like she was always wishing I wasn't her student.

I'm grateful for the memories I made with my friends in that school, but were the elders and system absolutely awful. Transferring into a liberal and progressive university was the easiest non-adjustment I had to go through.

Best muffin you’ve ever had? Not a big fan of muffins. I've had a few chocolate ones but nothing has stood out to be the best.

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? Nope.

If so, was it required? That is not a thing here.

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? I don't know...maybe an accumulated 1 hour a day? I go through FB multiple times daily but it's always in very very quick checkins.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? I'm okay with algebra and statistics, but I've never understood the point of geometry and that directly translates to how I struggled with the subject in high school haha.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It's fun when I find a K-pop fan because we can automatically relate on so many things. We don't even have to both like BTS; the K-pop fan culture is enough to start hours' worth of conversation and jokes. Other than that it's impossible to find local Beyoncé, Paramore, or punk rock fans so I kind of just wander those worlds on my own lol.

How often do you “half-ass” things (put little effort in)? I'm not sure about frequency but that's something I'll sometimes do when I can't bring myself to give a crap about work tasks. I'm done showing passion in every single thing because I'm super burned out at this point.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Not really.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? Not necessarily, but some of them made me just ask a bunch of questions about the way they treated me. Like why did they hate me so much? Why do they seem so miserable so as to target their own students? stuff like that.

How reliable is your internet connection? We've actually been out of internet since Thursday and our service provider has been very useless and helpless and scum of the earth, so I've been using data since then and 100% worsening my phone battery.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? Yes. Work is not everything and if I can't be in a particular meeting or event, it's not the end of the world and I'm done feeling guilty about the whole thought of being absent lol.

What’s something that makes you incredibly nervous? Work.

What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? There was one time I had to pull up an all-nighter for a project, and unsurprisingly it was a group project. Like of course it would be a project that involved other people, because if it was a solo thing there never would have been a need for me to stay up all night. That gig soured me from group projects for the rest of college.

If you don’t have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them? I do have them.

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn’t need them anymore? It'd be refreshing but idk, I've had glasses for 14 years now. It's a part of my identity and how people remember me that I'll always choose to have them on, even if I had the opportunity to undergo some magical procedure that'd totally fix my eyesight.

How many vegetarians do you know? Less than 10.

Have you ever considered going to art school? Kind of. I passed an art management program in one of the universities I applied to, but chose to go to my dream school instead.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? No.

How quickly can you write an essay? Probably an hour if you gave me enough background info to work with, and time to research.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? Never fell asleep while in school.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? Sure! I was for Paramore. I guess I was too for Se So Neon but that was sort of a given since it was a much smaller show and it had been very easy to squeeze my way to the front.

What bug frightens you most? Cockroaches, bees, and wasps.

Are your parents supportive of you? My dad is. Idk what to think of my mom's form of support. It seems she shows it when it benefits her or when it's something she can show off in social media. I stopped looking for validation from her a long time ago.

How often do you take the train to go places? I don't.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations Sure.

Have you ever participated in a mock trial, or a real trial? No.

[madame-fear]

ahhhh i wanna drop art sooo bad 😭i only picked it because i did it the previous couple years but this is getting insufferable. i cant draw at all i only really like sculpting and sometimes painting. But i have a teacher who thinks he know best and is making us draw fuckin tools and shit 😭

im supposed to be doing a free subject where i can create art with what inspires but but he wants everyone to do the same stuff to get us all equal. BUT OUR SKILLS ARENT EQUAL MAN I SCULPT NOT DRAW WTF. we have to wait a whole year to get to the coursework. im so pissed i wanna drop it soo bad man 😭😠

i like to make stuff and be creative in my own time. ive made a clay ghostface tray, lil clay ghost dude, monty gatet from fnaf head, nanamis knife thing from jjk all in my freetime cus i enjoy it. not writing over 500 words about an artists picture of sunflowers.

and sorry i just really needed to get this off my chest, im gonna try talk to one of the staff who swap students subjects i just hope its not too late. :/

and anyway how are you my love, hope you are well.

I LOVED your little Josh Tempelton head canons (all the other characters too but yknow i love my lil Joshy Woshy sm) they were soo cute and ahhh!

wish you well in your studies xx

~🐋🚫🎨

Hiiii my dearest!! 🥰🥰🥰 <333 idk why but i was just thinking about you today so i guess it's a coincidence 😭😭 LITERALLY EVERYTIME I CASUALLY THINK ABOUT YOUR MESSAGES I RECEIVE THEM, IDK HOW THAT HAPPENS???

anyways – i'm so sorry to hear that, dear! I know the feeling of disappointment, in a way i guess, because i don't think disappointment is the right word, but kind of?? You just pick your favourite subject BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE THAT SHITTY ASS PROFESSOR/TEACHER WHO MAKES YOU DO RANDOM SHIT THAT UN-INSPIRES YOU. Or, makes you want to skip to your favourite part of the subject so badly :/ ik the feeling cause im kinda going through this even if im not thinking about dropping it. And your teacher seems like shit who isnt making things any better😭 Mine is just plain – with all honesty – dumb af and also has random psychothic breakdowns and shouts to us for no apparent reason??? and she has made lots of students drop out cause of it so yeah!!! i totally know how you're feeling.

If you feel like it, you should definitely give it a try to talking to the students swapping staffs! It's always worth it if you're not comfy/really don't like your particular subject &lt;;3 also no worries! you can always get things off your chest with me whenever you need! i'll always b here for u 😊

As for me, all good over here, i guess! Kind of nervous about some essays i have to present to this same teacher i hate, and i have an important exam this December 10th where i have 20 min to speak about a topic with the teacher and/or explain the syndrome to a patient they'll be giving us AND I HAVE TO PREPARE AND IM SO ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS FOR BOTH THE EXAM AND THE ESSAY I HAVE TO PRESENT BUT I JUST PROCRASTINATE AND ITS A CONSTANT LOOP AHHHJJJ– so i cope with memes :) b-but all well in general! 🤧🤧💖

So glad you liked the headcanons my love!!!! 🥰🥰🥰❤❤ I still need to finish your request for him and our beloved Gotham! Jonny Crane, sorry its taking so long!! :")) But i'll have it finished soon <333 and, thank you for the kind luck in my studies!! i'm so nervous about properly finishing them and excited at the same time ajdjskks, wish you well in your studies too! 💖

If you do talk with the student swapping staff, let me know how everything went, dear! ♡♡♡