#i just like going in increments of 5 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blissfullyecho · 1 year

Text

how to create a leveling up/dream girl/rebranding plan 🤍🍸🖤

establish your aesthetic

first thing’s first, you need to know where you want to go in life and what is your “aesthetic”? do you want to be giving “classy, businesswoman”? what about “nyc socialite”? of course these are just examples, but you should know what type of girl you want to embody. remember, you don’t have to fit a narrative, but you should have a general “aesthetic” that you want to be associated with. even if it’s 50 million different aesthetics, it’s whatever makes you, you.

visualize yourself/life

get inspired by making a vision board (physical or digital) and add to your board (if digital) daily. i find that this helps you stay in alignment with where you want to be in the future. you have to stay in that frequency and remind yourself of what’s next to come… because this new life is what’s next to come.

start with habits

please refer to my “starting your leveling up journey” post, but basically— you should create 1-3 habits for each of your goals and work on them until they become second nature. then when you’re ready, start implementing more habits that are aligned with your goals.

create routines with your habits

can you incorporate some of these new habits into a morning or evening routine? we all know that routines are important— they almost become our personalities and they set the tone for the day and night, and even the next day. for me, i know i’m only inspired to exercise in the morning around 10am, so exercise is part of my morning routine.

create daily + weekly goals

let’s say part of your journey is learning a new language. a daily goal could be learning one new vocabulary word in that language. your weekly goal could be knowing the alphabet in that language. use this method for all of your goals.

don’t overwhelm yourself with goals, routines, and habits

start slow; don’t overwhelm yourself. if you want to work on one goal at a time, then work on that one goal. burnout is real and it’s very hard to get back into the swing of things afterwards. i understand most of us are impatient when we just want to be a different version of ourselves, but it’s going to take some adjusting. i suggest not working on more than 3 things at once, but if you can work on more, go ahead

be a part of a community to keep you accountable

tumblr and facebook groups in my opinion are the best ways you can connect with other women who are working on the same thing. you can inspire one another, bounce ideas off of one another, and it’s super fun. you might want to even document your journey online.

set milestones and have a reward system

let’s say you would like to lose or gain weight, no matter the number, focus on 5-10 pound increments. when each milestone is successfully completed, reward yourself with something nice. maybe it’s getting your nails done, or splurging on a product that everyone on tiktok keeps talking about. apply this to any of your goals where there are milestones to get to.

don’t waste the day

you should not have any “zero days” meaning… you should be doing at least one thing everyday to reach a goal(s) you have. it doesn’t matter if one goal was to maintain a more organized, clean environment— do your dishes, set the trash out, clean up the hair from the bathroom sink, etc.

5K notes · View notes

becca-e-barnes · 2 months

Text

Last week I had a full 9-5 day of meetings with no break but it really got me thinking about how much more fun that could’ve been with my Bluetooth controlled vibrator 🙈 Especially with someone like CEO!Bucky who has your calendar and knows what a long day you have ahead of you.

You received a message early in the morning telling you to make sure your toy was fully charged and slipped inside you by 9:30 and there was no way you weren’t going to follow that instruction.

The anticipation alone was enough to let the toy slip in easily and you found yourself distracted enough to almost forget it was there by 10am.

Around 10:15 you felt it start up and it almost made you jump. It wasn’t too intense, just unexpected but you could tell you’d kept control of your expression. People probably wouldn’t notice on a video call anyway.

‘That’s nice.’ You send the text off quickly, hardly looking away from the laptop screen.

‘Good. I’m pacing you.’ The reply almost drew a shiver from you. You can just imagine yourself sitting here all day, writhing in desperation by 5pm.

Incrementally, the intensity of the toy creeps up and up over the next hour until it reaches around half its maximum intensity and then it drops off again.

You’re convinced you’re bound to be dripping. Your panties are absolutely soaked through, the insides of your thighs are slick under your dress and you almost whimper each time the toy changes slightly.

‘Still enjoying yourself?’ The text makes you hesitate because you’re almost not sure that you are. Do you need more or less? Any more and you’ll undoubtedly cum and you’ll have to hide it from the people on the screen. Plus, you’re quite confident that your climax won’t be a reason for him to stop. If you ask for less though, you’re stuck here all day, unsatisfied and frustrated.

‘Fuck, yes.’ That feels like the best response you can manage.

‘Good.’ You hardly have a chance to read the notification before the toy ramps up inside you, far more intense than the 50% you’d been getting.

The vibrations are wonderful and within a few seconds, you’ve flicked your camera off so you can grind you hips pathetically, riding out an incredibly overdue high against your office chair.

It’s not long after that the toy drops back down again, slowing to a light buzzing that keeps you dizzy but not overworked.

‘If you turn your camera off again, I might just bend you over your desk and let them all watch while I fuck you myself.’

#becca’s thots #becca writes spice #ceo!bucky #Bucky Barnes smut #Bucky Barnes x reader smut #I can’t lie besties #the Sunday evening scaries have got me #and it’s been a while #probably gonna go have a bath with my new book and try to chill #I’m so tempted to quit my second job rn #I’m just so tired #all the time #and I have so much I want to do but no time to do it

392 notes · View notes

makapatag · 4 months

Text

Tactical Combat, Violence Dice and Missing Your Attacks in Gubat Banwa

In this post I talk about game feel and decision points when it comes to the "To-Hit Roll" and the "Damage Roll" in relation to Gubat Banwa's design, the Violence Die.

Let's lay down some groundwork: this post assumes that the reader is familiar and has played with the D&D style of wargame combat common nowadays in TTRPGs, brought about no doubt by the market dominance of a game like D&D. It situates its arguments within that context, because much of new-school design makes these things mostly non-problems. (See: the paradigmatic shift required to play a Powered by the Apocalypse game, that completely changes how combat mechanics are interpreted).

With that done, let's specify even more: D&D 5e and 4e are the forerunners of this kind of game--the tactical grid game that prefers a battlemat. 5e's absolute dominance means that there's a 90% chance that you have played the kind of combat I'll be referring to in this post. The one where you roll a d20, add the relevant modifiers, and try to roll equal to or higher than a Target Number to actually hit. Then when you do hit, you roll dice to deal damage. This has been the way of things since OD&D, and has been a staple of many TTRPG combat systems. It's easy to grasp, and has behemoth cultural momentum. Each 1 on a d20 is a 5% chance, so you can essentially do a d100 with smaller increments and thus easier math (smaller numbers are easier to math than larger numbers, generally).

This is how LANCER works, this is how ICON works, this is how SHADOW OF THE DEMON LORD works, this is how TRESPASSER works, this is how WYRDWOOD WAND works, this is how VALIANT QUEST works, etc. etc. It's a tried and true formula, every D&D player has a d20, it's emblematic of the hobby.

There's been a lot more critical discussion lately on D&D's conventions, especially due to the OGL. Many past D&D only people are branching out of the bubble and into the rest of the TTRPG hobby. It's not a new phenomenon--it's happened before. Back in the 2010s, when Apocalypse World came out while D&D was in its 4th Edition, grappling with Pathfinder. Grappling with its stringent GSL License (funny how circular this all is).

Anyway, all of that is just to put in the groundwork. My problem with D&D Violence (particularly, of the 3e, 4e, and 5e version) is that it's a violence that arises from "default fantasy". Default Fantasy is what comes to mind when you say fantasy: dragons, kings, medieval castles, knights, goblins, trolls. It's that fantasy cultivated by people who's played D&D and thus informs D&D. There is much to be said about the majority of this being an American Samsaric Cycle, and it being tied to the greater commodification agenda of Capitalism, but we won't go into that right now. Anyway, D&D Violence is boring. It thinks of fights in HITS and MISSES and DAMAGE PER SECOND.

A Difference Of Paradigm and Philosophies

I believe this is because it stems from D&D still having one foot in the "grungy dungeon crawler" genre it wants to be and the "combat encounter balance MMO" it also wants to be. What ends up happening is that players play it like an immersive sim, finding ways to "cheese" encounters with spells, instead of interacting with the game as the fiction intended. This is exemplified in something like Baldur's Gate 3 for example: a lot of the strats that people love about it includes cheesing, shooting things before they have the chance to react, instead of doing an in-fiction brawl or fight to the death. It's a pragmatist way of approaching the game, and the mechanics of the game kind of reinforce it. People enjoy that approach, so that's good. I don't. Wuxia and Asian Martial Dramas aren't like that, for the most part.

It must be said that this is my paradigm: that the rules and mechanics of the game is what makes the fiction (that shared collective imagination that binds us, penetrates us) arise. A fiction that arises from a set of mechanics is dependent on those mechanics. There is no fiction that arises independently. This is why I commonly say that the mechanics are the narrative. Even if you try to play a game that completely ignores the rules--as is the case in many OSR games where rules elide--your fiction is still arising from shared cultural tropes, shared ideas, shared interests and consumed media.

So for Gubat Banwa, the philosophy was this: when you spend a resource, something happens. This changes the entire battle state--thus changing the mechanics, thus changing the fiction. In a tactical game, very often, the mechanics are the fiction, barring the moments that you or your Umalagad (or both of you!) have honed creativity enough to take advantage of the fiction without mechanical crutches (ie., trying to justify that cold soup on the table can douse the flames on your Kadungganan if he runs across the table).

The other philosophy was this: we're designing fights that feel like kinetic high flying exchanges between fabled heroes and dirty fighters. In these genres, in these fictions, there was no "he attacked thrice, and one of these attacks missed". Every attack was a move forward.

So Gubat Banwa removed itself from the To-Hit/Damage roll dichotomy. It sought to put itself outside of that paradigm, use game conventions and cultural rituals that exist outside of the current West-dominated space. For combat, I looked to Japanese RPGs for mechanical inspiration: in FINAL FANTASY TACTICS and TACTICS OGRE, missing was rare, and when you did miss it was because you didn't take advantage of your battlefield positioning or was using a kind of weapon that didn't work well against the target's armor. It existed as a fail state to encourage positioning and movement. In wuxia and silat films, fighters are constantly running across the environment and battlefield, trying to find good positioning so that they're not overwhelmed or so that they could have a hand up against the target.

The Violence Die: the Visceral Attacking Roll

Gubat Banwa has THE VIOLENCE DIE: this is the initial die or dice that you roll as part of a specific offensive technique.

In the above example, the Inflict Violence that belongs to the HEAVENSPEAR Discipline, the d8 is the Violence Die. When you roll this die, it can be modified by effects that affect the Violence Die specifically. This becomes an accuracy effect: the more accurate your attack, the more damage you deal against your target's Posture. Mas asintado, mas mapinsala.

You compare your Violence Die roll to your target's EVADE [EVD]. If you rolled equal to or lower than the target's EVD, they avoid that attack completely. There: we keep the tacticality of having to make sure your attack doesn't miss, but also EVD values are very low: often they're just 1, or 2. 4 is very often the highest it can go, and that's with significant investment.

If you rolled higher than that? Then you ignore EVD completely. If you rolled a 3 and the target's EVD was 2, then you deal 3 DMG + relevant modifiers to the DMG. When I wrote this, I had no conception of "removing the To-Hit Roll" or "Just rolling Damage Dice". To me this was the ATTACK, and all attacks wore down your target's capacity to defend themselves until they're completely open to a significant wound. In most fights, a single wound is more than enough to spell certain doom and put you out of the fight, which is the most important distinction here.

In the Thundering Spear example, that targets PARRY [PAR], representing it being blocked by physical means of acuity and quickness. Any damage brought about by the attack is directly reduced by the target's PAR. A means for the target to stay in the fight, actively defending.

But if the attack isn't outright EVADED, then they still suffer its effects. So the target of a Thundering Spear might have reduced the damage of an attack to just 1 (1 is minimum damage), they would still be thrown up to 3 tiles away. It matches that sort of, anime combat thing: they strike Goku, but Goku is still flung back. The game keeps going, the fight keeps going.

On Mechanical Weight

When you miss, the mechanical complexity immediately stops--if you miss, you don't do anything else. Move on. To the next Beat, the next Riff, the next Resound, think about where you could go to better your chances next time.

Otherwise, the attack's other parts are a lot more mechanically involved. If you don't miss: roll add your Attacking Prowess, add extra dice from buffs, roll an extra amount of dice representing battlefield positioning or perhaps other attacks you make, apply the effects of your attack, the statuses connected to your attack. It keeps going, and missing is rare, especially once you've learned the systematic intricacies of Gubat Banwa's THUNDERING TACTICS BATTLE SYSTEM.

So there was a lot of setup in the beginning of this post just to sort of contextualize what I was trying to say here. Gubat Banwa inherently arises from those traditions--as a 4e fan, I would be remiss to ignore that. However, the conclusion I wanted to come up to here is the fact that Gubat Banwa tries to step outside of the many conventions of that design due to that design inherently servicing the deliverance of a specific kind of combat fiction, one that isn't 100% conducive to the constantly exchanging attacks that Gubat Banwa tries to make arise in the imagination.

#gubat banwa #ttrpg #filipino #fantasy #gamedev #writing #rpg #dnd #southeast asia #d&d #d&d 5e #d&d 4e #i will say #that part of the decision away from a d20 (because gb alpha used one)#is sheer hater energy on my part #like i just didn't want to #because its used by all these other games by white people and especially because its used by dnd #there is like #4 instances where you use d20s in this game

217 notes · View notes

lowspoonsfood · 6 months

Text

Microwave Instant Oatmeal Muffins

(I don’t know if this blog is still active, but I hope you’re doing well, regardless!)

A slightly modified version of a recipe I found on a vegan cooking blog. It’s good for a quick meal, especially because you don’t have to be super precise with the measurements the way you would baking from scratch. Also, it’s great if you, say, have a texture issue with instant oatmeal but ended up with a lot of it somehow. (No points for guessing how I know that.)

1 packet instant oatmeal (whatever flavor you have on hand)

2 tbsp flour

¼ tsp baking powder

1 tsp neutral oil (I usually use vegetable or canola oil)

¼ cup milk or non-dairy milk (the original used water, but I like using almond milk because the protein makes the whole thing super filling)

Instructions

Dump all of the ingredients in a microwave-safe mug. Stir.

Microwave on high for two minutes.

If there are still damp spots, you can add 5-10 second increments until it’s cooked through.

Notes:

You can customize this recipe pretty much as much as you want. Dried fruit, maple syrup, cinnamon, whatever. Just mix it in before you microwave, and keep in mind that you may need to adjust cooking time if you go overboard.

You can measure the dry ingredients out ahead of time if it makes things easier. Honestly, the hardest thing about this is gathering the ingredients.

#microwave #recipe #vegan #dessert #breakfast #muffin #oatmeal

337 notes · View notes

ohforfluffssake · 2 years

Text

Jacob's No Pressure Guide to Learning How to Enjoy Art Practice

DISCLAIMER: I own none of this. All of it is just an abridged version of the Drawclass (link: Drawclass 04/29/2022: Jacob's No Pressure Guide to Learning How to Enjoy Art Practice - YouTube). Please watch the video for the full experience, context, and nuance.

So, recently Jacob Andrews from Drawfee taught a class on how to practice art without putting too much pressure on yourself, and honestly, it was excellent. Do give it a watch if you're also facing a wall in getting started on art practice (also subscribe to their channels and support them on Patreon for more excellent content :D). Since I don't really have a good memory for basically anything, I did what I usually do to memorize stuff: I made notes. This blog post is basically just for me, but I'll be glad if it helps other people too. (again, all credit to Jacob and Nathan for the excellent Drawclass).

The Rules

Rule #1: Pick any 5 days during the week to practice. Take your break days whenever you want.

Rule #2: Set a minimum time for each day that is easily achievable. Continue drawing after that only if you feel like it.

Rule #3: If you miss a day, it doesn’t matter. Just try again the next day. (Avoid thinking of it as maintaining your “streaks”)

Rule #4: Do NOT try to do a good job (Practice is INPUT). The only judgment you get to make is if you drew or not.

Rule #5: Focus on something you want to improve on each week. It can be as general or specific as you want it to be.

The Schedule

Day 1: Draw from imagination to the best of your ability

the aim is to get warmed up and also to get a baseline for the week

Jacob’s Example: Jumping poses, 15 minutes

Day 2: Speed sketching

numerous and fast drawings from reference

Fast is subjective, whatever feels comfortable for you (the upper limit is 3 minutes, Jacob does 30 seconds to 1 minute)

Not going for detail, just capture the structure and vibe, as fast as you can

No need to even save it

Jacob’s Example: 10 minutes, ~1 minute for each reference photo (reference photos from Pinterest)

● Nathan’s sketches from the same reference photos:

Day 3: Reference drawing

Pick references (the number is up to you) and spend a little more time with each one

Capture details and complexities this time (like if day 2 was poses, then in day 3, try to capture musculature or folding of clothes etc.)

Doesn’t have to be a one to one copy, you can stylize

Another thing you can do is lower the opacity of the reference image and place your sketch over it to see which areas need improvement. In case of Jacob’s example, he mentions that the torso and legs are too short (areas of improvement which he was already aware of, so in general he tries to keep those in mind while drawing).

Nathan’s sketches from the same reference photos:

Day 4: Style study

Take a look at how professional artists portray the topic you’re studying

It helps you to develop shorthands and your own style

Pull up references and try to imitate to the best of your ability

Can also draw over the reference pics to understand the shape language and flow (but don’t simply trace the drawing)

Also try to notice shapes made by the negative space

Basically don’t mindlessly copy, this is “active copying”

● Nathan’s:

Day 5: Draw from imagination again

Put together what you learned throughout the week

Compare with day 1 (hopefully, you will notice improvements)

Changes will be incremental, don’t be discouraged!

Jacob’s example: 10 minutes of free drawing:

● Nathan’s:

I hope this was helpful. Good luck with your art practice!

#drawfee #art tips #jacob andrews #nathan yaffe #julia lepetit #karina farek #art #drawing #practice #long post

4K notes · View notes

olderthannetfic · 1 month

Note

People getting obsessed with their AO3 stats, yeah get excited about kudos and comments because truthfully, everyone wants to know their hardwork is connecting with someone, but find other stats to help with the dopamine hit. Stats that you control, not up to the whims of others. Words counts. Per story. Per fandom. Per year. Overall. I'm 3k away from 40k words for the year! Or I'm 5k words ahead of where I was last year at this time. I'm this many words away from achieving some number that I have decided to celebrate.

Number of fics posted. Per fandom and overall. I get excited to see the numbers go up on my page. I like to stare at my documents and ask "which one of you wips is going to be fic #34?!" But I also celebrate in increments of 5. I currently write for two different fandoms so I get the satisfaction of hitting those arbitrary achievements collectively and again for both fandoms individually.

Number of pages on your AO3 profile. This one takes longer because there are 20 stories per page. I am currently One story away from my 10th page on my profile. (and then I get to also celebrate in another 10 stories when I'll have 9 pages for just one fandom) This is also fun because you can look at the number of pages for your fandom and go "10 of those are mine."

Getting a new "year" tab on your AO3 stats page.

83 notes · View notes

strawberrytoki · 6 months

Text

Wedding season

(Spencer Reid x reader)

Summary: You and Spencer get invited to a friend's wedding who happens to have a secret agenda: getting Spencer to confess his love for you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: none!

Word count: 1,990

a/n: I love this song so much y'all, highly recommend listening while reading.

Perfectly assembled bouquets of carnations, baby's breath, and most notably, white tulips, elegantly wrapped with dainty threads of sage green ribbons adorned the carefully set tables, on which sat calligraphed name cards placed on lace table runners.

It went without saying that your friend Lily, the bride, gave the best wedding planner money could buy a run for their money. She was nothing short of a visionary, and the picturesque venue she orchestrated proved just that. It was nestled in the heart of a serene garden and every avid pinterest enthusiast mom within a 5 mile radius would drool at the sight.

The two of you always talked down on white-themed weddings because of how overdone they were, but as the years went by, you both started to incrementally understand the appeal, they were flexible, and easily customizable. She was able to add her own personal flair by adding in a little splash of sage green. That splash, excluding the ribbons, was your attire. All the bridesmaids were dressed in sage dresses, and the groomsmen with ties to match.

Everybody and their mother was rushing to get married, considering wedding season was about the wrap up. It made sense, the weather wasn't as hot and there was a wider variety of vendors to choose from, so you should be surprised Lily was able to pull this off with the traffic but she was a very plan-oriented person and she expected you to mirror that. Hence, you knew exactly what to expect out of this day, down to the seating chart. What you weren't expecting, though, was seeing Spencer Reid there. The two of you had been coworkers for a while now, and found yourselves becoming close friends over time. You enjoyed his company, and loved how the eccentric ramblings he'd go on seemed to have no end.

The gears in your head started turning, trying to find an explanation as to why he was here, you didn't mind of course, you just found it odd how you weren't aware he was coming, especially considering how the guest list was practically printed on the back of your eyelids. Spencer was also more your friend than he was Lily's, they were acquainted, but not to the extent where he would show up to her wedding unannounced. Besides, it wasn't something he would do anyway. The most logical explanation was that he was a last minute addition so he wasn't accounted for, it still didn't make sense considering Lily's nature, but that's what you decided to chalk it up to for the time being.

He was clad in a well-fitted suit and had his hair styled in groomed chocolate waves that complimented his features. You noticed that he didn't forgo his staple converse shoes and mismatched socks, which amplified his endearing, awkward appeal. You weren't blind, Spencer was undeniably charming, and there was just something about him in a suit that had you weak in the knees. You developed a small, benign crush on him over the period of time you'd known each other, but you didn't want to jeopardize the friendship the two of you had.

"Hey, Spence." You walked up to him from behind, nudging him on the shoulder. He swiftly turned around, greeting you with a wide smile, a smile you didn't see yourself getting tired of in the foreseeable future. "Y/N!" Spencer embraced you in a warm hug, you never got over how healing his hugs were. "You look beautiful, by the way." You smoothed out your dress and smiled at him, "Thanks Spence, you clean up well yourself." A downward smile took over his face, indicating that he appreciated the compliment. "Lily really knows what she's doing, this place looks like it was cut out of a Pierre-Auguste Renoir painting." Spencer mused.

"Uh huh" you slowly nodded, pretending you had the slightest clue what he was talking about. You appreciated the obscure references he always made, and found yourself learning a thing or two every time he opened his mouth. You also loved how he was never condescending whenever he shared what he knew with others.

The two of you started taking a stroll around the garden, watching the guests slowly pour in, and stare in awe at the venue. Although it wasn't your wedding, you felt a sense of warmth inside, knowing the blood, sweat, and tears your friend poured into making it all happen and witnessing her efforts finally come to fruition.

The ceremony was about to commence, and you took your place near Lily, and gazed at your friend, who made the most radiant bride. Tear-provoking vows along with promises of unconditional love and commitment were made. Despite the immersive exchange of love and feelings, your mind couldn't help but selfishly drift to your own. You caught yourself staring longingly at Spencer. You were always realistic when it came to your feelings and never allowed your mind to wander, but this wedding seemed to put things into perspective, and for a fleeting moment, you cut yourself some slack and allowed yourself the luxury. It felt like a juvenile playground crush and you liked the giddy, fuzzy feeling it gave you, so you let it diffuse.

Telling yourself you didn't want to confess your feelings for Spencer because your friendship was at stake seemed to be the pseudo-truth you liked to tell yourself to sleep better at night, but you had more self-awareness than that. Deep down, in a cold chamber was the unvarnished reality, uninviting and chill, that you resisted accepting. You were worried Spencer didn't feel the same way you did about him. The idea of laying out all your cards on the table and coming clean was horrifying, and getting rejected by someone you deeply cared for was sure to leave a gash you knew would never heal.

Ironically, the often anxiety-inducing uncertainty offered you a warm embrace you didn't want to leave. Every now and then, though, you had the slightest temptation to leave that embrace, and wondered what it would be like to take the chance. High risk, high reward right?

The crowd of guests started making their way to the reception venue to get seated, and you followed suit. While making your way to your table, you noticed Spencer sitting next right next to your seat, which, again, caused you to raise an eyebrow. If you remembered correctly, you were supposed to be seated next to Elle, who was all the way in the back.

Not thinking much of it, you decided to take your seat next to him anyway, and the two of you began chatting away. Shortly after, your conversation was cut short by the newlyweds' toast announcement, and Lily was going first.

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, I'd like to thank all of you for celebrating this incredibly intimate, special day with Tony and I." She looked down at her now-husband with a vibrant glint of adoration in her eyes, and he looked up, mirroring the same glint.

"To all our loved ones who have made an, I'm sure, arduous commute to get here, I cannot put into words how grateful I am to you. I'd also like to express my love and appreciation to my ever so dependable A team, my lovely bridesmaids." Lily then shifted her eyes to your direction, and she didn't need to verbally announce her gratitude, as her glistening and smiling eyes did the work for her. Spencer looked at you and smiled as well.

"-so I can only pray that everyone here gets to experience the overwhelming love and devotion I'm feeling right now." She looked over at you again, this time with a mischievous grin on her face, and spared Spencer a glance as well. "-and in that spirit, I'd like to make a toast." She raised her glass, and continued. " Here's to hoping the celebration of our union can lead to the conception of new ones- maybe even between some of our own guests here tonight." She made sure to look directly at you and Spencer for what felt like an hour to really cement her message, and several of the guests turned their attention to the two of you. Spencer was no idiot, he probably caught on to what she was implying. He didn't seem as flustered as you were, though.

Subtle.

You felt like your skin was too hot to contain your insides, like there were a million fire ants crawling all over your body. To add fuel to fire, you also felt Spencer's gaze on you, you weren't directly looking at him, but through your peripheral view, you noticed that he looked worried, like you were going to detonate at any second.

Abruptly, you got off of your seat and sprinted without a destination. After any sense of motor control you had was yielded, your legs were in autopilot mode and you allowed them to take you anywhere that wasn't here. Lily was going to cut her announcement short and chase after you, realizing that maybe her method was too overstimulating for you. She then noticed Spencer scrambling off his seat to go after you, so she let the two of you be.

Your feet finally halted at the secluded but well-kept greenhouse overlooking the venue from faraway. You still felt like a fool but your skin did start cooling down a little bit after isolating yourself. You just needed to sort your thoughts out because they were going at about a thousand miles a minute. You realized you weren't going to be doing much of that though, since a part of the reason for this debacle followed you here, and was out of breath.

"Y/N." He choked out, in multiple syllables between pants of short breath.

You slowly brought yourself to face him, but still couldn't look him in the eye. "I don't know what that was that Lily just pulled but-"

"No, Y/N wait." Spencer cut you off, he then inched closer and tilted your chin to face him. "I'm sorry you were put on the spot like that- I wasn't aware that was how this was going to go down."

"This?" You questioned, and he looked hesitant to come clean. He then looked down in what resembled defeat. "Lily invited me here but didn't tell you, I guess she wanted this to be a surprise. The plan was for this to be...seamless, but I suppose we took a little detour?"

You still looked very confused, as the spiel he just went on didn't answer any of your questions.

"Y/N, I'm deeply and agonizingly in love with you, and I suppose Lily discerned that, and offered me an opportunity to tell you how I feel. Of course, I jumped at the chance without realizing that I wasn't aware of the mechanics or how we were going to go about it and for that I am so sorr-"

You were in immense shock, to the point where you almost felt like he was going to change his mind so in an attempt to preserve this moment, you quickly wrapped your hands around his neck and pressed a kiss to his lips. It took him a moment, but he gently held your waist and kissed you back with just as much fervor.

The two of you finally separated, each of you holding on to the other as if they were going to slip away.

"I'm in love with you too, Spencer." The adorable flustered flush that painted his face made this entire shitshow worth it. You figured you eventually had to make your way back to the reception, since you felt like you owed Lily an apology (and an expression of your gratitude). A part of you felt bad for fleeing the scene back at her toast, yet a part of you was grateful for her often blunt approach to things.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds oneshot #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid fic #spencer reid headcanons #criminal minds fanfiction

336 notes · View notes

kedreeva · 3 months

Text

Well, this weekend I took a hazardous trip to get my new car and bring Indie home.

Sunday, after totaling my jeep, I got home to find Indie in hypothermic shock. All of MY birds were fine, thankfully. I brought him in and warmed him up in increments overnight, but he couldn't go back out into the cold, and couldn't stay here if it was going to be cold, so I made the decision to bring him back to his home early. GRACIOUSLY, his actual owners said if I brought the hens I would have bred him to down, they'd do the breeding for me.

Thursday I rented a mid-size SUV. There was only one available whose trunk space laid flat, and when I went to leave with it, they sent me back and gave me a newly-arrived return, some Mazda that was an absolute NIGHTMARE of a car. I drove it home, packed for the weekend, and prepped the trunk space for Birds.

Friday morning, I was up at 5am taking care of some stuff and making sure I was awake enough to drive. I ousted Sark from bed around 7 and he helped me load Arcana, Eclipse, and Indie into the back of the car, and Aris and her two babies into the barn with Polaris. I set off for North Carolina, but with a MASSIVE snowstorm moving in over West Virginia, and snowstorms having plagued the north east, I would be taking an extended trip down- from Detroit area to Knoxville, TN, before going over to NC.

Almost 17 hours later, I got to Indie's home. We left the birds to sleep in the car since they were already cuddled up, and I went inside for a 5 hours nap.

Then it was up again, moving birds into their coop, and I was back on the road another hour to return my rental, an hour to get to my mom and dad's, a brief break there to hang out, and then!! an hour to the dealership to pick up my new Jeep. I had my previous one for 19 years, 300k miles on him, so this is... going to be an adjustment, but it seems like he will be fine. I have named him Sheet Cake. He is white outside, and tan inside, absolutely terrible colors, and smushed flat compared to my Liberty.

Went back to my parents' for the night, played Pokemon GO with the for a while (anyone wanna be my mom's friend? she needs more people for a quest), and zonked out around 9pm. And BACK UP around 7, so I could make the 12 hours drive back home yesterday. MUCH more pleasant ride, in the Jeep than it was in the Mazda. The lack of birds wasn't terrible, either.

Bug was ECSTATIC to see me, she got left behind with Sark. I snuck away like a thief in the night, so she woke up and I was just Gone. When I walked in the door she froze and stared at me for a long second and then lost her shit, throwing herself up on stuff and doing the excited flappy-wing duck down. I sat her up on her perch and she beeped and beeped and beeped as I gently scrubbed her face and neck. It's not like she has a hard life when I'm gone, Sark is here to hang out with, he gives her fresh food meals just like I do, he cuddles just like I do, but it's just not the Same.

Anyway, it's good to be home.

And now that I have a white Jeep... it's time to find some Jurassic Park decals for him.

#stories about ked's life #my car #indie #bug the peahen #arcana #aris #eclipse

87 notes · View notes

danganronpa96 · 27 days

Text

Since the inbox has been agreed upon (via majority vote haha funny YTTD reference) to stay closed until chapter 5 daily, there's not much I content I can really make now that I'm painfully free.

That being said I am going to shameless steal the idea I'm already doing on the discord server.

So, I've been sharing out of context dialogue lines from the daily life, as long as we reach a particular number of unique reactions on a message. And, hey, why not do that here too for the tumblr-only crowd?

Peep this, every time this post hits an increment of 15 likes (since that really is the only unique counter, if I just said notes one person could comment or reblog this a bunch of times lol), you'll receive one line! That is so insane

#this isn't to farm likes or engagement or anything #in fact I don't even know if you can with just likes lol #I just want to pose a fun but maybe a bit of a challenging goal?#you can reblog/comment if you want of course but it won't be counted towards the goal #and don't worry the lines will be unique aka not already shared on the discord

62 notes · View notes

ihni · 3 months

Text

It's @weird-an's birthday, so have a little Argilly (!) (yeah I know!) piece inspired by this post.

This piece is written to be read around the time they release season 5, because whatever shit they come up with to happen in Hawkins, our forgotten boys will just be living their best life in Cali.

~~~

Billy wakes up slowly, gaining awareness in increments. The softness of the sheet underneath him, the sounds of the traffic interspersed with voices coming from outside, the warmth of the air in the room and from the body behind him. Taking a deep breath, he stretches until his joints pop and then releases the air in a content sigh as he becomes boneless once again, turning around and snuggling up to the man behind him. Tucking his head in under the man’s chin, still without opening his eyes.

There’s a chuckle. Billy can feel the vibrations through the body he’s clinging to, and can’t help but smile.

“How long have you been awake?” he murmurs, and hums contentedly when a big hand splays out over the back of his head, scratching lazily at his nape.

“A while,” comes Argyle’s voice from close by, and Billy feels a gentle kiss on the crown of his head.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asks, then yawns.

“You’re cute when you sleep,” is the answer.

“I’m cute all the time.”

A laugh, and Billy can feel Argyle move as he nods. “Truth. But especially when you sleep. Also, we’re not in a rush. We can stay here all day, if we want.”

Billy starts to nod along, but then stops. Reluctantly blinks his eyes open. “Not all day. We’re meeting Tommy later, remember? You promised you’d show him all the best burger places in town.”

“Yeah but that’s not until the afternoon,” Argyle argues. “We have hours to go before then.” A pause. “You can go back to sleep, if you want.”

Billy considers. It’s still a luxury to be able to wake up at his own pace, and not have to hurry to get ready in the morning. It’s also not until recently that he has started sleeping through the night, with the nightmares being less frequent the longer he spends away from their source.

Two years. Two years since he clawed his way back to the real world, two years since he stopped having to sleep with one eye open, two years since fate – perhaps as an apology for everything it had put Billy through – brought Argyle to that godawful Indiana town. (No one could tell who was most surprised to see the other; Argyle, who had been told that Billy had died in a fire, or Billy, who hadn’t thought he’d ever get out of that hellish place at all. Their reunion was emotional and tearful and came as a shock to everyone else, who hadn’t even known that they knew each other. But honestly fuck everyone else.)

It has been two years now since Billy sat down in the passenger’s seat of Argyle’s van and went back to California without looking back; his only goodbye being a middle finger aimed at the ‘Leaving Hawkins’ sign as they passed, while Argyle’s hand rested on his thigh, gripping Billy’s other hand in his.

Two years later, and here Billy is, in bed with Argyle; his best friend, his lover, his Aggy. There are no monsters anymore, there is no Neil to be wary of. He is safe, he is warm, and he can go back to sleep if he wants.

Does he want that, though? He frowns. Something tickles his mind, like a half-forgotten memory. He dreamt something, he realizes, but trying to remember what it was is like trying to capture mist in his hands. It slips between his fingers like smoke, but still leaves him feeling vaguely uncomfortable.

Argyle, like always, notices. “What is it, Bee?” he asks, and hugs Billy closer. “Nightmare?”

“I don’t know,” Billy says, truthfully. “I don’t remember.”

Argyle hums. “You were moving around a lot. Talking in your sleep again.”

“Really?” Billy says. It’s been a while since he did that. “What did I say?”

“Just murmurs. No real words. You sounded kinda worried, though.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t remember.”

Billy rolls back a bit and puts his head on the pillow. He immediately misses Argyle’s warmth, but Argyle keeps his hand on the back of Billy’s head, playing with his hair, and at least this way he can look at Argyle’s face.

He’s beautiful. Big and strong and soft, with his sunshine smile that never fails to make Billy feel all warm inside and his long hair that somehow always looks perfect even right after waking, unlike Billy’s. There’s a mark on Argyle’s cheek from a crease in the pillow, and Billy wants to kiss it.

Argyle’s smile – widening at the sight of Billy, which will always be a thrill – is contagious, and Billy finds himself smiling too.

“’Mornin’, Aggy,” he says and leans forward to place a kiss on Argyle’s lips.

“’Mornin’, Bee,” Argyle replies and smiles into the kiss.

They lean their foreheads together and breathe for a while. Then Argyle stretches out too, like a big cat. Billy seizes his opportunity to plop himself on top of Argyle, who just laughs and puts his arms around him, pulling him closer. Chest against chest, Billy moves with Argyle’s expanding lungs as he inhales. It is soothing, and he tries to relax. But he doesn’t quite succeed – the remnants of the dream is still lurking in the back of his head.

Of course, Argyle notices. “Bee?” And of course, he knows what’s Billy’s thinking. “Do you think it’s got something to do with, you know, all that stuff from a couple of years ago?” He doesn’t even say ‘Hawkins’ out loud, because he knows how Billy feels about that town. It is just another reason to love him.

Billy wants to say no. Wants to reject it out loud, because all that is over. But that nagging feeling in his brain stops him. “I don’t know,” he admits. Argyle knows about the nightmares, about the dreams. He has met El after all, and knows what she can do – and he knows about the times, right after they got back to California, when Billy and El’s dreams merged. It has stopped now, thankfully. Or, he thought it did.

“Do you think something’s … wrong?” Argyle asks. His voice is neutral, but Billy knows him well. He knows what Argyle went through, too; what he had to see and live through on his way across the country two years ago.

And Billy decides, then and there, that “No. Nothing’s wrong.” Because they’ve had enough, him and Argyle. They’ve done their part. Billy has served his time; he paid the price, survived, got out and got away. The people they left back in Hawkins – none of whom cared enough about him to try to save him, by the way – could have left too. If they stayed around for the next wave of horror, that’s their choice.

Hawkins can burn to the ground, for all that Billy cares. If something’s about to go down there, Billy doesn’t want to be involved. Doesn’t even want to know about it.

“Okay,” Argyle says and pats Billy’s shoulder. As if he knows what Billy’s thinking. He probably does.

“And if it is,” Billy says, petulantly. Makes sure to say it out loud, so that the powers that be can hear his refusal. “If something is wrong .... If something goes down, back there? I don’t give a fuck.”

“Right on.” Argyle chuckles and kisses his curls. Hugs Billy even closer, trapping him against his chest and making him feel … small, and safe, and cared for. Something that Billy has only ever felt with Argyle, outside of when he was a child and his mother was still around. “Right on, my dude.”

Billy huffs out a laugh, but wrinkles his nose in distaste at the same time. “Don’t call me ‘dude’ in bed. It’s weird.”

“But you are my dude, dude.” Billy tilts his head back so he can glare at him. It’s hard to maintain a façade of annoyance in the face of Argyle’s sparkling eyes, but he manages through sheer force of will. “My little man.”

“Stop it.”

“My bro.”

“Aggy.”

“Brochacho.”

“I will literally kill you.” But despite his words, which are an obvious lie to the both of them, he cannot stop the smile that blooms on his face, or the blush that follows when Argyle laughs and peppers his face with kisses.

“Sure you will, dude.” Argyle sees straight through him. He always has.

That doesn’t mean that Billy will just take this kind of disrespect lying down. He struggles out of Argyle’s grip – only succeeding because Argyle lets him – and rolls and crawls with grunts and mutters to the edge of the mattress. He pushes off the bed and gets to this feet, uncaring of the fact that he’s naked, and cocks a hip to the side while he points at Argyle, who’s still sprawled out in bed, grinning. “Just for that, breakfast is on you.”

Argyle just keeps smiling, even as he leans forward and hooks his own finger around Billy’s, shaking his hand a little. And damn it, Billy is charmed. As always. “Sure thing, Bee. Cold pizza?”

“Leftovers? You call me ‘dude’ in bed, and I get leftovers?”

“Tasty, tasty leftovers, though.”

Tasty leftovers. Breakfast with his Aggy, after waking up in bed with his Aggy, in the apartment he shares with his Aggy.

A look to the window reveals blue skies with barely any clouds. The leaflets on the palm tree just outside moves gently in the breeze. Billy knows that if he opens the window, he will smell car exhausts from the road and Chinese food from the restaurant across the street and a hint of decomposing trash from the dumpster around the corner … and under all that, the salty air blowing in from the ocean, barely two blocks away.

Life is good.

He releases Aggy’s finger and takes his hand instead, pulls him up until he’s standing. Pokes him in the middle of his chest and raises his eyebrows as he looks up at him. “I want garlic sauce on mine.”

Argyle salutes – lazily, and with the wrong hand – and says, “You got it,” before pressing another kiss to Billy’s face – forehead, this time – and walking past him to get out the bedroom. Argyle’s not wearing anything either, and Billy watches appreciatively as his behind disappears around the corner.

Whatever might go down in Hawkins, it’s got nothing to do with him anymore – him or Aggy.

Life is good for them, now. He’s not trading this for anything.

And with that, he files the fragments of the dream away to be forgotten and follows Argyle out into the kitchen for a cold pizza breakfast.

~~~

(And yes, Tommy has moved there too because he deserves some kind of appearance as well, so I'll just headcanon that he and Carol maybe have moved out there and is finding their feet out in the real world. He's gonna become fast friends with Billy and Argyle and become a cook or something.)

#ihni writes #argilly #argyle #billy hargrove #argyle stranger things #argilly fic #cali bros #i don't know if it counts as bros if they're together though #hmmm #a conundrum #oh well #happy birthday an :)

73 notes · View notes

balloonboyismyson · 2 months

Note

i was thinking... what type of sneezes would the animatronics have at the mega pizza plex? like a dad sneeze... a bunch of small sneezes... a few big sneezes... or the sneezes that show up only to fade slowly and show up like 5 seconds later with force?

OH OKAY I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE ARE MY HEADCANONS:

Freddy has the dad sneeze. Brace yourself, because holy SHIT if you do not I am so sorry whatever drink you had in your hand is now ALL over the floor. What makes it so scary is that his build-up is silent. Unless you were looking at him you would have no idea.

Roxy has the quintessential dog sneeze. The WINDUP. She scrunches her face and BRACES for impact. She has hit her snout on tables MANY times. Yes you can confuse her out of a sneeze. No she will not purposefully sneeze on you.

Monty basically YELLS when he sneezes. He does the "ah-aH-AH-!" right before sneezing and he WILL actually say "achoo." He will also sneeze at least 5 times in a row. His record is 15. Sometimes smoke comes out of him during it.

Chica sneezes fast and multiple times. Definitely not as many as Monty, but like usually at least 3. There is literally no windup. She is fine and then SUDDENLY will sneeze 3 times in a row no breaks just SNEEZE SNEEZE SNEEZE. They kind of sound like clucks. Her teeth chatter a for a second after, no idea why. Staff thinks the sneeze just feels weird through her beak.

DJ Music Man you would THINK has a really loud, powerful sneeze, but on the contrary. It is kinda loud, but other than that usually if someone has not heard him sneeze before and are not looking at him, they have no idea what happened. Tiny bit of windup, but usually kind of sudden. He will sneeze just once and seems a little embarrassed for a moment afterwards.

Sundrop's is VERY dramatic, VERY loud and he WILL jump when sneezing. When building up his rays incrementally go into his head before popping out to their full potential once he sneezes. No he cannot actually sneeze.

Moondrop will rarely sneeze, but if he does, it is usually just a toned down version of Sun's. His head will slowly move up before SLAMMING down. He likes to sneeze on people. He also cannot actually sneeze.

#Glamrock Freddy #Roxy Wolf #Monty Gator #Glamrock Chica #FNaF SB #Headcanons #Five Nights at Freddy's #Five Nights at Freddy's Security Breach #FNaF Security Breach #Clownie honks #asks #//PARDON ME ACTUALLY TAGGING THIS I JUST THINK PEOPLE WOULD FIND THIS FUNNY #DJMM #Sundrop SB #Moondrop SB

56 notes · View notes

exhausted-archivist · 1 month

Text

The Deep Roads are Complicated, and I am in too Deep...

I've been working on and off at mapping the Deep Roads for a while now and after writing 4 pages explaining my methodology of why I think it is mapped the way I put it and then moving on to orienting the ttrpg thaig map, I realized something while taking notes on the directions mentioned and cross-referencing it to the description of Horrors of Hormak thaig description.

You can't map the Deep Roads from a top-down perspective because sometimes the roads change directions and aren't actually going in a straight line.

They need an orthographic map. Or a map that essentially bisects the mountain. The literal map in the corner of both the Origins and ttrpg maps. The maps... that have increments of depth.

Now, I knew that the deep roads had to change elevation, especially considering how they're described and the way they're supposedly below sea level for most thaigs.

But somehow, despite knowing that, I never considered that thaigs and the roads themselves would essentially be stacked on top of each other. Don't know why that never crossed my mind up until I was checking my notes and the passages of the ttrpg and Horrors of Hormak to confirm directions. To which it finally clicked as they both explain how there are galleries/antechambers and staircases/pathways that change directions.

How do we get to the thaig? This tunnel leads to a series of galleries. Think of them as interconnecting wide flights of stairs linked together and occasionally switching direction. We head down these for a few hours and we’ll be on the outskirts of the thaig.

-- Dragon Age Tabletop RPG, Buried Pasts p. 18

Beside him, Lesha muttered a word and her staff began to glow. She pushed it inside the entrance to the hole, giving light to the darkness within. The edges of the circle cast by Lesha’s spell revealed a small staircase that descended into an antechamber slightly larger than the clearing above, carved with a skill and delicacy that rivaled the works of Orzammar, or even Kal-Sharok. At the other end of the chamber, a doorway and a second staircase beyond that which spiraled into the darkness, the entire space lit by the glow of lyrium. And above the entrance, written in dwarven runes, a single word—Hormok.

-- Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights, Horrors of Hormak (p. 86)

Which then gave me pause and had me rereading and looking back at the map. Because the maps looked like they were straight and didn't initially give the impression of any verticality to them. Until you look in the corner. That's when it clicked for me and the mountains suddenly made more sense.

And now I'm screaming about it here. Because both maps are depicting a small chunk of mountain(s) in the Frostbacks. Which, for reference, my wip of the Deep Roads looked like this.

If you follow BioWare's scale of 1 square = 15 miles / 24 km - if the Deep Roads were in working order the journey to the anvil would only be roughly around 2.5-3 days journey. However, we know to get to the anvil and back to Orzammar is a month-long trip. So, with the darkspawn and collapsed tunnels it becomes a 2-week journey there and 2 weeks back. Which is quite a large jump in travel times.

I have a personal scale based on population size, megafauna, and the fact that it is supposed to take over a week to get to the Circle from Orzammar on the surface, among other travel time increments. Which makes each square 38 mi / 61 km. A 4-5 day journey from the anvil to the void when functioning.

Now, I think this map still holds up in terms of placement considering that mountains can have a wide footprint and the map on the Origins Deep Roads has at least two major peaks and a plateau, whereas the ttrpg just has one major peak and a couple of smaller ones. The ttrpg map also speaks of ravines and such so it fits the geography.

But yeah, long story short I need to revise some of my methodology; and maybe rescale the map, so things aren't super tiny.

#dragon age #dragon age maps #deep roads #dwarves #thaigs #dragon age origins #dragon age tabletop #dao #da ttrpg #long post #no cut because if I'm here you're here lost in the deep roads with me #archi is yelling

44 notes · View notes

emotionallychargedtowel · 3 months

Note

Why hello! I don’t see why we can’t keep the Top 5 trend alive in the new year so…

From one chronic rewatcher to another, what are your top 5 most rewatched scenes?

Sorry this took so long, @wen-kexing-apologist! I'm just now getting back to posting a bit more regularly after the holidays got me totally off track, and this question brought up a lot of Thoughts so I've been chipping away at it for weeks.

So, um, this is the best question ever. Except it’s the meanest question ever, because I'm terrible at choosing between things like this.

I am a massive rewatcher, whether you’re talking about whole series, episodes, or scenes. Scenes especially. Why watch an entire thing when you can go right for the best part/s and watch them over and over? This is also one of the reasons I have way too many gifs saved on my phone.

I thought about coming up with a list that was based more on what would make a good post, and/or what would make me look less uncool, than what I actually rewatch the most. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to be honest instead. So at the risk of seeming even more like an Utsukare obsessive and overall one-trick pony, I'm going to talk about the five scenes I think I've actually rewatched the most, even though four of them are from my perennial obsession.

The four Utsukushii Kare scenes are in the order they occur in the series, not from most rewatched to least. Then I'll talk about a fifth scene from another series that I've been pretty vocal about appreciating, and I'll mention some runners-up.

“who do you like, him or me?”

If gif posts are any indication—gifs are the smallest increment of rewatching, after all—some of my favorite scenes to rewatch aren’t that popular with other rewatchers. This one gets gif’ed, sure, as you can see. But it's not as popular a choice for this kind of treatment as a lot of other Utsukare scenes.

There are a few reasons this one is a favorite of mine. One is that I tend to like some jealousy in my romance. I have my theories about why it’s so appealing to me specifically, but I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. I also love a good aggressive shirt-grab. (Utsukare certainly delivers these regularly.) But the main reason I keep coming back to this moment is that in just a few sentences, a bunch of character development happens. Well, I guess it would be more correct to call it character revelation. This is the first time we really see this side of Kiyoi, and in that respect, it foreshadows the big perspective shift that’s just around the corner. The viewer picks up a lot of hints that Kiyoi has feelings for Hira prior to this point (even if Hira remains stubbornly oblivious to them). We’ve even seen Kiyoi kiss Hira already (even if he did push him to the ground a split second later). But this is the first time we see such direct evidence of the strength of his feelings for Hira. Kiyoi is so unguarded for this brief moment. The mask slips and what’s underneath is total desperation.

Hira, of course, misses the real meaning of what Kiyoi is saying despite how obvious it is. Which means it's also the viewers’ first indication of how intensely Hira clings to his favored view of reality in the face of evidence to the contrary.

"sorry I like you"

This is another scene where so much is happening in a short span, all because Kiyoi got desperate enough to talk about all of the unspoken bullshit between him and Hira. As usual, Hira doesn’t get it. But he might be starting to.

This scene is pretty rough watching in some ways. When this episode first aired and it ended with this scene followed by each of them on their own and feeling terrible, I was a bit of a mess. It was silly of me to worry. There were plenty of favorable signs in the preview for the finale. I knew the novels had a happy ending. But it was just so sad and so real that it got to me anyway. But I also enjoyed it, because for an obsessive analyzer like myself, seeing these important relationship dynamics finally come to the surface in such concentrated form was fascinating. It was also a relief to see things out in the open.

Both leads turn in such great performances here. Yagi Yusei really steps up. It’s even more impressive given his relative lack of acting experience. His performance is so raw and affecting. If he had been less vulnerable, Kiyoi’s point about how contradictory Hira’s actions and statements are could seem like a kind of “gotcha” moment designed to win an argument--like he was pointing out that Hira was hypocritical in a bid to score points. Instead, Yagi shows viewers how deeply being caught in this double bind with Hira has hurt Kiyoi.

Hagiwara Riku, in contrast, portrays Hira as so confused that he’s basically dissociated. Hira has a really strong tendency to see the world in whatever way suits him, regardless of the truth. Kiyoi’s words force Hira to set his usual narrative aside and see how much clinging to it is hurting the person he claims to love, and it throws him off to such an extent that he seems to be experiencing a form of psychomotor slowing. He looks like he’s moving through molasses. He can’t form sentences, or at times, even words. His normally expressive eyes seem like they’ve shrunk to half their normal size. He’s really come unmoored, and it shows. The more I think about Hagiwara’s work in this scene the more impressed I am by the insight and physical control he had to bring to bear in order for it to work.

Of course, if I watched this scene on its own habitually, this level of blorbo distress might take a toll on my mental health. Which is why I usually follow it up with…

"I'm not going to kiss you for a while"

I’m busting out the bullet points for this one because otherwise it might take me all day.

This scene works on so many levels!

Well, the main ones are:

Relationship progress! Character growth!

The whole kiss fakeout thing is hot

Hira gets some payback and frankly, he deserves it

The other highlights for me are:

Even after repeated viewings and knowing very well what happened in the story, I still feel kind of relieved to see that Kiyoi came back, especially right after rewatching the scene prior to this one.

When Kiyoi asks Hira why he thinks he came home and he says, “to punch me?" he does it in the most weirdly cute way.

Kiyoi’s absolutely lethal snotty face/voice when he response to the possibility of punching Hira with “maybe” is so perfect that it's hard not to think that Hira might have a point about this whole King deal.

Hira apologizes and it’s actually sincere and not just some knee-jerk bullshit.

The way Hira closes his eyes and waits for Kiyoi to smack him is a rare case of him actually letting go and putting himself in Kiyoi’s hands instead of his usual topping-from-the-bottom thing.

More about the kiss fakeout:

Hagiwara does a great job of telegraphing Hira’s expectant response. In scenes where two characters are going to kiss but get interrupted, it's not uncommon to see a kind of hesitation or other subtle signal that the actor knows the kiss isn't going to happen. But there's none of that here. Hagiwara even does this sort of gulp/swallow thing like he thinks the kiss is going to start any moment. When the kiss doesn't materialize, he nails an absolutely pitifiul sad puppy expression.

Kiyoi’s vulnerable voice and facial expression when he explains about the kissing boundary thing is so sincere and cute. Could he be any more different from season 1 episode 1 Kiyoi?

I’ve written about how the no-kissing-until-Hira-takes-Kiyoi-seriously policy might seem like a controlling move or an inappropriate ultimatum to some viewers but it actually better resembles what Harriet Lerner calls a “bottom line,” resulting in a boundary that is not only justifiable but downright healthy…or almost healthy, at least. It's a bit on the extreme side, and the fakeout part remains a little mean. But they're understandable given what Hira has put Kiyoi through.

Here's my s2e4 writeup that includes that discussion:

“sorry, Kiyoi”

So, I’ve already written quite a bit about this scene. In one instance, I wrote a propaganda blurb when it was in bl brackets’s kiss bracket.

Here's the original blurb I wrote for @bl-bracket when I nominated the scene, as used in the post where people voted:

Hira and Kiyoi Final Kiss: "It’s an important plot point (because Kiyoi has said he won’t kiss Hira until he stops putting him on a pedestal and now Hira is making progress on that front, and because Hira hasn’t initiated physical stuff in the past, and initiating is itself a way of treating Kiyoi more like an equal). It’s also just a really well-acted and effectively shot kiss, and as a result it communicates so much about the characters and shows a side of their relationship not portrayed elsewhere in the show. And of course, it’s super hot. That includes the kind of weird but suggestive details that are typical of the show, like Hira passing candy/candy spit to Kiyoi through the kiss and then switching into this really distinct sexy voice that makes it sound almost as if he’s changing personalities."

And here's an additional, longer propaganda post I wrote to lobby for votes:

One of the points I tried to make in that post about why this scene is special was that it really does represent a leap forward in how both leads portrayed intimacy in this series. Prior to this scene, viewers had seen a dead fish kiss on graduation day, a more intense makeout situation in the season 1 finale that was shot so impressionistically that it was often hard to tell exactly what the actors were doing, and some interrupted kisses earlier in season 2. And then this happened. Here's a quote from what I wrote previously:

Personally, despite being a fan of both actors and thinking they did amazing work on the series, until I saw this scene I really didn't know if they had it in them, if they could actually pull off something that felt real. But they brought it. They're not holding back. As opposed to more stylized kisses you see in BLs and other romance dramas sometimes, I found it very naturalistic, like the way a couple of real kids in their early 20s would kiss.

So, yeah. I thought it showed real growth on the part of the actors as individuals and as a pairing/team.

This scene also caused me to dig deeper, with the help of some very knowledgeable mutuals, into what “persistent” and “cute” mean in a sexual context in Japan. My main post about that is below.

Noticing Hagiwara's use of Hira's "persistent voice" also helped me to notice something else when I checked out his other work, and that is that he often uses his voice in very different ways in different roles. I recently watched a drama he did before Utsukare and I was struck by this all over again. Again, it shows a really impressive degree of control.

And now, for our one non-Utsukare scene in the top 5:

"I'm trying to seduce you"

I also wrote a nomination blurb about this scene for the kiss bracket. (If you're seeing a pattern here, well, yeah, it's a pattern.) The original voting post here but I'll go ahead and quote it in its entirety since it's pretty short.

This kiss is ridiculously hot and is a culmination of so much that’s been simmering beneath the surface for the entire show up to that point. Togawa has been pining so hard for Nozue for so long that when Nozue gives him a glimmer of hope and then tries to leave, everything he’s been bottling up comes surging out. Kimura Tatsunari exudes a level of desperate lustfulness in this scene that’s as intense as anything I’ve seen in any genre. We’re all familiar with the idea that people look at a person’s mouth when they want to kiss them, but Togawa looks at Nozue’s mouth like he dreams about it every night and sees it every time he closes his eyes. No wonder he feels a need to stick his thumb in there. Takeda Kouhei also communicates so much in this scene. Nozue is shocked and confused but he can’t help but respond to Togawa’s kisses. You can see the gears turning—and refusing to turn—as he tries to make sense of what’s happening—and keeps kissing Togawa back even though he still can’t process it. Togawa’s declaration, “I’ve been trying to seduce you, with everything I have,” is the cherry on top.

There's another bit of subtle physical communication here that I find interesting, and I think you might too, @wen-kexing-apologist. Just recently I've been thinking about the meaning, in kissing scenes, of what for lack of a better term I'll call the head-bonk. By this I mean the thing where one person puts their forehead against the other person's, often with at least a tiny bit of an impact that renders it a bonk rather than, like, just touching them together. Togawa kisses Nozue once, then a second time, and then goes in for a third that Nozue avoids by sinking toward the floor. The third kiss doesn't happen, but when Togawa starts to initiate it he does an absolutely sublime head-bonk. I'm still figuring out what I think about the head-bonk thing. All I know is that, from my vantage point, that little move on Kimura's part practically screams "I've been holding this back for five goddamn years and I can't wait one more second to kiss this person."

Runners-up and honorable mentions:

Semantic Error:

Their first kiss in the restaurant after Jae Young calls Sang Woo "hyung" - I have watched this so much that if I had been asked for my top 6 this would have been #6.

Jae Young demonstrating the features of the "free trial"

Minato’s Laundromat (season 1, of course):

Shin freaking out about Minato being alone with Hanabusa

The washing machine kabedon

The “smelling the sheets” scene

Kiseki (I just watched this for the first time a week or so ago and I have already done so much scene-rewatching it's ridiculous):

That incredibly angsty sex scene with Ai Di and a drunk Chen Yi, you know the one

Chen Yi's confession to a physically restrained Ai Di

The scene at Ai Di's bar where Chen Yi puts him in a double kabedon

Ai Di and Chen Yi's conversation after Ai Di gets out of prison, where he says he fucked Chen Yi "just for fun" and offers to let him do stuff to him as "revenge"

Ai Di trying to scare Chen Yi by stroking his chest and asking him if he wants to "play" and then getting weirded out when Chen Yi asks, "What if I say yes?"

Jheruei and Zongyi's first real kiss and subsequent A+ lap-sitting moment

And as a bonus, here's my most-rewatched non-QL moment:

There's a scene I'm obsessed with in Something in the Rain where Jun Hui comes to Jin A's home and sees her ex-boyfriend there with her and her parents, lobbying to get back together and manhandling her, and he reacts exactly the way you'd expect as someone to who's in love with Jin A. It is tattooed on my brain. If I ever learn to make gifs I am gif'ing the fuck out of that scene.

#obsessive rewatching #utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare meta #old fashion cupcake #hagiwara riku #yagi yusei #kimura tatsunari #takeda kouhei #BL asks meme #semantic error #kiseki: dear to me #minato's laundromat #something in the rain

45 notes · View notes

ygobigbang · 1 month

Text

Everyone, thank you very much for the responses! We’ll go over our plans for what to do next, and what you should keep an eye out for!

Firstly, thank you for all your patience for the new mod team! You can find us and our experience listed HERE as well as our names on our Tumblr page (desktop mode). We hope you continue to give us your support as we settle into our new roles.

Second, for all the Misawas and number lovers out there, we'll go over the IC numbers after the end of this announcement.

And third and most important of all, we’re announcing our first project as a SPRING SEASON MINI-BANG. We’ll be releasing more details over the coming week, and hopefully have sign-ups ready by the end of the month. This will be a much smaller event, with 1k minimums, so that everyone can get used to working together and getting warmed up before the main event!

Once again, thank you for your interest, and we’ll see you soon!

And now, from Mod Pan, this:

First off, "Do you want to participate in a General/All Series Bang?"

That's 62,7% yes, 37,3% maybe, and no "No"s! Love to see how people interested in talking about it want to participate, should circumstances allow.

Next is "If yes, what role?"

At 40,3% writers take the lead, but 32,8% artists and 26,9% as a combo of both means people of all artistic tendencies are well-distributed!

So we've got the peeps, so when do we start? That's the next question!

The two leaders were a (North) Summer Start at 67,2%, followed by a (North) Spring Start at 25%. The other results were one vote each, for 'either', 'both', 'anytime', 'not sure', and a shout-out to whoever asked if these seasons were North or Southern Hemisphere- They're all North, for the record, due to that being where the majority of the mods are located. It was a good heads-up, though, and I'll try to mention specific months next time alongside seasonal names.

Last two multiple-choice questions!

For writers, what minimum word count are you comfortable with?

The clear winner here was 10k words, at 48,3%, with 15k next at 13,3%. A full 26% were just artists clicking the "I'm an Artist" button, and the other options (5k, 25k, and 'anything from 10-20k depending on concept") got a single vote each, except 20k words, which came in around 8% instead. I like this excitement!

And for the artists: What fic length are you most comfortable working with?

Everyone continues having 10k as their sweet spot number, as the 36,7% votes show, and this has definitely been taken into account. Next is 15k at 25%, and every subsequent 5k increment loses another 5% votes. And to the two who don't really know and are just gonna go with the flow, and are willing to read all the way up to 50k as long as the concept interests you, we'll do our best at matchmaking so it won't feel like a sacrifice, no matter how excited the writers get!

And that's it for math time! The non-multiple choice answers won't be discussed here, since even without names attached those were private responses, but do be sure the mod team has read all of them and will be keeping all of them in mind going forward.

See y'all next time!

#yugioh #big bang #fandom event #ygo #ygo 5ds #ygo arc v #ygo dm #ygo go rush #ygo vrains #yugioh go rush #ygo sevens #ygo gx

38 notes · View notes