#i just have a lot of feelings alright

[that-autistic-lesbian]

Old friends are so weird. Like I grew up with this girl. She was basically another sister to me. I knew her practically my whole life. We graduated together. We went to summer camp together. I haven’t heard from her in nearly 4 years. I wonder what she’s up to now. Or this other girl. I know her entire life story. One time we went over her diary together on a particularly long bus trip. She was the first person I came out to. Her grandmother hated me, but allowed me over because it would make her happy. Our last interaction was me viewing her snap story. She hates gay people now, apparently. I miss her.

#frienship #old friends #nostalgic #I just have a lot of feelings alright #god I made myself sad at 9 on a Monday night while listening to Taylor Swift this is not how I thought I’d be spending my nights

[spacedace]

Got inspired by the below tiktok and the idea of the Rogues killing the Joker in revenge for Jason instead of Bruce and had to write about it.

Here, have probably way too many words (with more to come most likely, this really won't leave me alone) of the Rogue's feelings about Jason's death at the Joker's hands and everything that followed.

(also I know the timeline is a bit screwy, shhh just go with it, we're going on vibes with this one lol)

-

Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham.

The city was hard and cruel and she didn’t care about the ages of those that were ground up and spit out in her oily black heart.

A kid could slit your throat as easy as a man grown in a place like their fine city, maybe easier even for those who still fell for the ideal of children being incapable of anything but innocence and sweetness. Children learned from the world around them though, they learned from the savagery that filled their world, the hard scrabble desperate attempts to survive. They learned what dark corners to avoid, which ones were safer to skitter down.

It didn’t mean there weren’t still some rules of decency to be honored though.

Most folks, even those in the circle of the Rogues, largely left kids out of the equation. Crossfire happened of course, hitting busy city centers always meant some kind of collateral. But there wasn’t much that they got out of purposefully hurting kids outside a black mark on their name in most levels of the grungy underbelly of the city and one hell of a big target on their back. Both from the Bat and those criminals in the dark with them that took offense to those kinds of things. They were crooks, but with few exceptions they weren’t complete monsters.

Robin had always held an interesting place in their grungy little ecosystem. Anything to do with the Bat was generally ruled as gloves-off, do what you do without hesitation. And Robin - both of ‘em - had no problem hitting hard and being ruthless. The first one in particular had a feral sort of rage to him that was a terrifying thing to be on the business end of.

But they were still kids.

Defending yourself from any kid swinging on you was fair game, a person had the right to defend themselves. Grabbing up Robin to hold hostage or bait Gotham’s local cryptid, that was all fine and dandy. You could even get away with roughing the kid up a little here and there, so long as you made sure not to go too far and always kept hits to where the kid’s armor was the thickest. No hard and fast written rules, mind, but general rules of thumbs. Lines indistinct due to the shaky ground a child dancing through the night as a vigilante left all of them on, but ones clear enough that you knew when you were at risk of going too far.

Besides, the Robins were good kids. Fucking feral little shits, of course, able to leave you bleeding just as easy from a kick as they were a sharp word. But good kids. Even most the Rogues in the Gallery liked em. It was hard not to be at least a little fond of a gutsy little punk like that.

Though they were all maybe a tad less nervous around Robin II than they were the original.

Robin I had a lot of anger burning in him, a lot of anger in him, but he was still a cheerful boy with a bright attitude that was refreshing in a world so bleak and dark as the one they all lived in. It was up in the air which was scarier about the kid: The smiled he gave when he was about to give a hands on demonstration about how much force a tiny ten year old could put into a kick when they had half a dozen spins shoved into a flip to wind up to 80 miles an hour, or the flash of his teeth when he was demonstrating the knife sharp brilliance of his belief that Batman was only as frightening as Robin was hopeful.

They weren’t sure if he realized that sometimes they felt a helluva lot more hope at the sight of the Bat when the little bird was putting the hurt on them, or if he’d simply folded that fact neatly into his core philosophy without issue.

Robin II on the other hand had this kind of quiet shyness to him - even as he was shouting the most inventive swears ever heard by human ear at someone while he kicked them in the balls hard enough to make ‘em see not just the face of their own god but a few dozen besides. He was just as unhinged as the Robin before him - seemed to be a requirement for the job really - but there was a distinct different in how the two birds flitted about the darkened skyline of the city. Where the first Robin’s smile was as much danger as it was dazzle, a fanged declaration of victory against the dark, Robin II’s was a sunny, stubborn declaration of perseverance. Kid was sassy and smart, and never - ever - flinched away from extending a hand to those he thought in need of it.

Even if the folks he offered that hand to were in the middle of an attack on some fancy Gala or Wayne Enterprises or whatever target of the week it was. Even knowing the offered hand was likely to be slapped away and followed by a right hook. Kid still always tried.

They all knew why.

The Bat was big on offering chances, on rehabilitation rather than damnation. Some of Robin II being the way he was came from the broody cryptid he followed around. But Batman couldn’t claim to be the sole reason for Robin II being the way he was, couldn’t even pretend to be the cause of most of it. Nah, they knew why the little bird was the way he was.

That unmistakable thick accent. That frame that was always a little too thin even as he got older and stronger. That unshakable, headstrong spirit.

Robin II was an Alley Kid.

A true child of Gotham.

Her polluted waters in his veins. Her smoggy air in his lungs. Her shadows clinging to his edges less like a beast looking to swallow a small bird up and more like a protective mother hiding her hatchling. He understood the world most of them came from. The one they all lived in. Knew it in a way anyone who hadn’t been swallowed up by the dark never really could.

Everyone had their favorite, but even those that claimed the first Robin as theirs couldn’t deny that Robin II was someone to be respected. Nor could they deny a fondness for the chain smoking, classic lit referencing, perpetually baby-faced little shit. They’d all had knock out drag out fights with the kid and knew how fucking unhinged the puny motherfucker could be in a fight, but he always tempered it with offers of resources, of a listening ear, of understanding.

He visited them after they’d been arrested sometimes. In Arkham, or Blackgate or wherever else they’d been locked up in after being stopped by the Dynamic Duo. The little bird would make the rounds whenever he had a broken wing or was stuck waiting as the Bat interrogated someone else or for any other reason he wasn’t out flitting about the city skyline at night. He’d bring cookies or snacks and even cigarettes from his own secret stash on the rare occasion, mask unable to hide the furtive glances around to check for the living shadow that was the disapproving Bat.

The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. And Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of them from time to time. He was a good kid.

But childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham.

Bad things happened to good kids all the time.

And some of the monsters that lurked in the city’s darkest shadows took the black mark of a kid killer as a point of pride.

Robin II disappeared one day. Just after that piece of shit Garzonas took the fast way down from the top of a tall building. There were a lot of Rogues with doctoral degrees to their names but even those Goons that dropped out of school before they learned to spell their own names could do that math.

The big bad Bat had benched the boy after the fierce little bird had done what any decent member of the criminal underbelly would have. There were those that thought maybe it’d been an accident, that the kid was pulled off duty because of being too upset at unintentionally crossing the heavy line the Bat drew in the sand. Those voices were drowned out pretty quick though.

Sure, Robin II was all about second chances, of doing better, of redemption. But Garzonas had chances to spare and only ever spat in the face of those offering them. Doubled down on being a monster in a way very, very few of the Rogues Gallery would. The kid was a sweetheart, but he wasn’t no push over and there were some things so heinous that there was only one way of handling them. Crime Alley had its own kind of justice system, and when faced with a monster that was beyond even Batman’s jurisdiction, Robin II did what he always did: fell back on his roots.

Or so the rumors said, at least.

That was the thing about Gotham’s seedy underbelly. It was a grimy, wretched nest of vipers and cut-throats, but it was also worse than any beauty parlor when it came to gossip. No one actually knew anything other than that piece of shit motherfucker took a dive while Robin was chasing him and that he’d not been seen on the streets since. But most had a fondness for the kid, and a distaste for the kind of cruelty Garzonas reveled in and there was no proof that Robin hadn’t gone and done the world a favor by drop kicking that barbaric sack of shit off a roof. So as far as most in the Gallery were concerned, the little bird had stepped up and been a hero.

Time passed. Not a lot. But enough. The Bat disappeared too, popping up on an entire other continent in a way that was awfully tempting. Even with other Masks playing baby sitter while the local cryptid was away. Rogues were scrambling to set plans in motion, Goons getting hired en masse, weapons and weird chemicals getting delivered to shady places across Gotham by the truck-full. The criminal underbelly was abuzz with the same excited energy of children the day before a big birthday party.

And then the news came in.

There were people in the dark who made their living finding things out. Knowing things that no one else did or could. Some even specialized, keeping tabs on Batman and Robin better than anyone else in the business were able. And when the information they found wasn’t anything handy to have tucked into a back pocket or a secret they were paid extremely well to keep? They held on to with the same tenacity a sieve clung to water.

Robin II had run off across the globe and ended up in Ethiopia. Something to do with a doctor doing aid work, the same something that had the Bat end up there was the assumption. Kid ran off to handle things himself or was sent on a separate path on purpose for some plan or other the Bat had cooked up on his hunt.

Whatever the reason, the kid crossed paths with the Clown.

Alone.

Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham. The city was hard and cruel and she didn’t care about the ages of those that were ground up and spit out in her oily black heart. But Robin II was hers, the child of her heart, an exception to the rule. And besides, most folks - even those in the Rogues Gallery - largely left the purposeful harm of kids out of the equation.

The Joker wasn’t most folks.

And the little bird was a long way away from the protective shadows of his mother city.

The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. And Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of them from time to time. He was a good kid.

When the news broke, it broke most of them right along with it.

Plans stalled. Schemes ended. Gotham, for an unnervingly quiet stretch of time that neither its civilians or the world at large understood, went still. Crime continued, of course, but the big names weren’t seen. It was only right, by the standards of those that lived their lives in the dark, that they hold off and give the man that fought them all so relentlessly over the past years the time he needed to focus on hunting down the monster that killed his son. He didn’t need the distraction, and they all owed it to Robin II not to interfere while the Bat at last put a final end to the Clown.

And the hellish cryptid would need his full focus on this one. The Joker wasn’t one to take lightly at the best of times, but he’d set himself up neatly in the middle of a nasty bear trap. Ugly and complicated in the way everything with the Clown was. Interference from the CIA, from the UN, from Superman.

Shit went down. People heard about the Bat and the Clown throwing down in a helicopter plummeting from the sky in one hell of a water landing. Big Blue fished Batman out of the drink before he could drown but there’d been no sign of the Joker.

But the Bat would find him.

They all knew the relentless bastard would find him. It was just a matter of time. With the hellish drive of a demon straight from Gotham’s darkest shadows, the Bat would track the grinning, child killing ghoul down and make right the terrible wrong the evil motherfucker had done. Batman would hunt him to the ends of the earth and enact the justice he held up so fiercely. Robin II would have the vengeance the kid so rightly deserved.

It was just a matter of time. So they waited. And waited.

Days.

Weeks.

Months.

The Clown still lived.

The world, impossibly, began to move on. The Bat returned to his lurking in the night, picking off gangs and petty crooks and no-name gangsters as if nothing had happened at all. More vicious, more savage, but failing to turn that rise in brutality into the killing blow against the one figure that so rightly deserved it.

No one knew what was happening. There were rumors and theories, as there always were in the underground. Some thought that it wasn’t the Bat at all back in Gotham but someone else pretending for awhile, looking after his neglected city while he continued his pursuit of the Joker. Other held that it was the Bat but the whole thing was a ploy to draw the Clown out into the open. A pretense at not caring meant to get under the Clown’s skin, make the asshole mad enough to get stupid and sloppy and reveal himself.

That the man simply had given up was beyond comprehension. Beyond what any upstanding Rogue could accept. So it simply couldn’t be true. There was a trick being played. Some brilliant game of 4D chess that none of them had been able to parse out. It’d be revealed in time, and they see the brilliant trap that had been set. The Clown would be lured out, the Bat would put him down for good, and then they’d all at last raise a glass to the little bird that had been shot down far too soon and smoke shitty cigarettes and quote literary masters and mourn the loss one of Gotham’s own true children.

They just had to play along. Stumbling forward back into their usual habits, pretending that it was a choice and not the world just forcibly dragging them along. It’d make sense, eventually. The Bat had a plan. Robin II wasn’t forgotten, his killer not left free to roam and ravage unpunished for what he’d done.

And then one day there was a new bird flitting across the rooftops.

Chasing the Bat’s looming frame like a reverse shadow. Bright flashes of color in contrast to the bleak darkness of Gotham’s grimy nights. Small and thin and young.

Not the first Robin. With his showman bright grin and bloody rage and unwavering belief in the terrifying power of hope. Not the brilliant, vicious little boy that they’d seen grow over the years into the fierce and fearless Nightwing.

Not Robin II either.

Not Gotham’s soft hearted little bruiser with his unshakable belief that people could be better if given the chance, shinning so bright in the dark as he held out a hand that even the Rogues had no choice but to believe right along with him sometimes. Not the tough little songbird they’d never get to see grow up. Unavenged and unhonored. Put in a box and buried in the ground with a name none of them would ever know carved into a stone they’d never be able to visit.

No.

It was a new Robin.

A new child with the R emblazoned upon his chest.

Sharp and quick and young in the way the birds always were when they started flying at the Bat’s side. Every inch of the boy’s tiny frame a tragedy and an insult. One very, very few of Gotham’s vicious underbelly were willing to tolerate.

Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham, but there was a damn big difference between holding something sacred and not giving a damn about it at all. There were rules unspoken but understood, a way things were done. Nothing so solid or concrete as a code of conduct, more a collection of time honored traditions. Blood for blood was among the oldest and truest, and the more precious the person taken the more vital and vicious payment was to be made in kind.

The Clown had killed Robin II.

Beaten the kid half to death and then finished the job with a bomb.

Everyone knew he’d done it laughing all the way.

The Bat should have done the same in kind. Done worse. It was justice, it was what was right. You kill a kid you’re marked forever. You kill one so well liked and kill ‘em like that and you’re destined for a cruel and cold death. The Bat had first dibs. It was his kid. It was his right to put an end to that awful laughter and let his son have peace at last.

But he never did.

Nightwing had. For a bit. For a moment.

Robin I, who half the time had scared them all more than the Bat ever could. Dazzling and dizzying and dangerous. Gave back the pain and hurt the Clown had forced upon him with clenched fists and bone shattering hits. They were glad for him, that he was able to beat the monster who had taken his little brother from him to death, that he was able to have such justice.

And then the Bat stepped in.

Revived the fucking Clown.

A slap in the face. The snapping crack of a spine beneath one straw too many. The final, unforgivable insult the man had dared visit upon not just the child taken from him but the entirety of Gotham.

The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. Respected their ferocity, admired their moxie, marveled at their ability to keep shining in the dark like they did. Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of the city’s dirty criminal underbelly from time to time.

He was a good kid.

He deserved better.

Better than the silence and peace he should be granted in death to be marred by the mad cackles of his killer still running around alive and unpunished. Better than his father giving up, returning to the same old routine as if nothing had happened at all. Better than the Bat snatching up a new bird less than a year later.

Gotham and her Rogues had given the Bat time enough to do what needed to be done.

It was their turn.

#batman #batman au #batman rogues #batman rouges gallery #dc penguin #dick grayson #jason todd #jason todd robin #dick grayson robin #bruce wayne #the joker #tim drake #dc robin #gotham city #open season au #i don't go in for Jason being the 'angry' robin or the 'violent' robin #he was the lil chainsmoking ball of sunshin robin that made sure to do his homework first before going out to fight crime #dick was the scariest robin because he was BOTH incredibly violent & full of rage AND a ball of sunshine & unrelenting hope #Jason was a Gotham kid (an Alley Kid) and I think a lot of the rogues would have respected that #dick got his respect by teaching them how many of their bones a tiny 9 year old could break in a single kick #feel like there's a scene in the extended au in which Tim gets kidnapped but instead of being held for ransom or threatened #it's just the Rogues aggressively mother-henning him and trying to make sure he's alright #Dick gets a call from Harley later that the newest Robin is fine he and Riddler are coming up with deadly traps together #No she doesn't see anything wrong with that - it's just some enrichment activities for them - why do you ask?

[liorlen]

working on smth where I put gale in silly outfits based on wizard subclasses/schools of magic, since I already did necromancer.

#by god he would not wear any of these but I like dressing him up #wip #alright to reblog but if this gets more notes than the final post with colors I will be So Sad #I’ve had smth like that happen before and I was just. ok. hits my head against a wall #it’s fun for me to imagine telling Gale what school of magic to focus on and it’s something insane #like divination. like ok gale. start having visions #gale start charming people. do it loser #I play divination a lot cuz it’s fun but in character story wise #anything other than like. pretty standard schools #feels so funny #it’s like. hey gale I know evocation is probably your thing or whatever. don’t care #but yeah. of these outfits evocation is closest to ‘standard’ gale #hmmm #thinking of doing something similar w astarion outfits l8r #assasssin/thief/arcane

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers

#Ted Lasso #Jason Sudeikis #Theodore Lasso #*mine: gif #tedlassoedit #sweater/jumper game #ugh you idiot with that face #stop staring at me swan #here's a gifset for the sweater/jumper lovers out there and sorry this is a long post. I just couldn't make up my mind on some of these #I spent way too much time overanalyzing the casual sweaters/jumpers. I was trying to only show each one once but then just gave up #deep dived research on the Todd Snyder site that's the kind of overanalyzing that happened #there is a lot of lighting messing with colors and for sure there are some repeats in this but whatever #I had this idea way back when we saw the variety of color sweaters/jumpers for S3 #but after the end of S3 I lost a lot of feelings for this show #my motivation for giffing this show is not so strong anymore but there is a part of me that still wants to maybe try a layout set #I'm thinking of doing all 3 seasons and just an overall sweater/jumper encompassing gifset. both the work and casual together #kind of meh on how some of these turned out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #it might be the added switch to the new editor and that all of these have been turned into gifv nonsense #also couldn't get the caption font to do what I wanted in html or at least it looked alright in drafts but not in preview #PS: thank you talldecafcappuccino for reading/helping with my color debate/same vs not same sweater/jumper nonsense

[sittinginsunflowers]

the thing that really gets me about Ylfa and Pinocchio is how badly they want the adults they respect and like to also really like and respect them. we’ve seen Ylfa do this from the beginning, her world has been rocked by losing or being betrayed by the adults who loved and raised her, so it makes sense that she’d do things like take half of Tim’s damage and guard Rosamund when they first meet someone new. and yeah of course Pinocchio was gonna go out on his own once they got to toy island. he was always going to try to reclaim the joy his old home brought him and I think that used to be enough for him. but it isn’t anymore, because now, these people have shown him that he’s not morally deficit for making the choices he had to make. so now it’s not enough to go play with Candlewick because he also wants to make Gerard like toy island. because Gerard was the most annoyed they had to go there in the first place and when you’re a kid, you want to show the adults in your life that the things you care about are cool and fun because you need them to validate those big feelings you have about it. he wants these people to like the things he likes and have a good opinion of him, because for so long everyone he cared for just told him he needed to do better, and he can’t process that they don’t like him because the things he does are cool, they like him because he’s him, because before now, no one ever has.

#neverafter #dimension 20 #neverafter spoilers #lou wilson #emily axford #I’m concussed and these improv comedians playing d&d are the only things getting me through alright #I just have a lot of feelings about all these characters and I want them to be good and safe and happy #not understanding when your a kid that the adults who don’t love you the way that they should are fucked up and it’s not your fault #it’s so hard #me talking

[thepoisonroom]

frankly we need more acknowledgement that sometimes you have an first/early/formative gay kiss or sexual experience and you're like wow that sucked ass maybe i got it wrong but actually sometimes gay dating and kissing and sex just aren't very good. as is true for all dating and kissing and sex. many such cases

#the fandom response to the 911 storylines has included some really interesting narratives about these things #like a lot of gay dating is like a lot of straight dating (just alright) #i had my first kiss and everything with someone i was in love with and it was a good expeirence #*experience #and then when i had my first kiss after that breakup and didn't enjoy it i was like man maybe i'm only into my ex not women generally :/ #like no dummy you and that other lady just didn't have chemistry or compatible kissing styles it's fine it's regular #but so much of the narrative we get is that it just Feels Right if the orientation match is workable #and equally some people you date are fine and there's nothing wrong with them and you just don't work well together #it's fine it's regular it's just part of the numbers game #personal nonsense

[pansear-doodles]

imposter syndrome is a bitch

it can happen to artists you think are already enough or are skilled and great in your eyes

as much as it motivates us to improve ourselves and do better, its still not a pleasant feeling at all

its a persistent cycle of admiring someone who doubts themselves and i dont think its selfish to think that "you're not good enough"

because life has been cruel to us and for most of our lives we've been taught to "suck it up" or that we fear that our outputs are invalid in some way or mean nothing to anyone- the outputs that have parts of ourselves in it, even if it isn't meant to take a part of ourselves- it still came from us nonetheless

posts can easily say that you should be kind to yourself more but when it comes to trauma and something that's been with you since childhood, it's not as simple to shake off

it can take years and years- varies for every individual- and even then the people around you, the world and even yourself will change

as much as its awkward or a downer to see, be kind to artists who are hard on themselves. its not your obligation to give them attention. no, i dont think every single person who sees a vent post should come up to the person and be there for them to cry on their shoulder.

i just think at the very least we should understand that every single person you meet and the artists you admire are imperfect, and they will continue to think crappy thoughts about themselves- unlike in fantasies where its some simple character arc that is a story obstacle that can be overcome and forgotten about- fantasy is meant to be a fulfillment- a desire.

we are real human beings, but we can learn and grow and live.

#this is unfortunately why some of my friendships ended. this insecurity has controlled a lot of my life but im trying to break from it #often id see people with the bigger numbers and i tell myself to be better or if im not good enough. i cant help but feel that #“trauma isnt an excuse” for shitty behavior towards others? yes. but for people thinking crap about themselves and cant help it? not really #do you think i can be not sad at the flick of a switch? you assume i can emotionally cope well as much as everyone else simply? why? #anyway to all of my mutuals who think harshly of themselves. youre all alright. we are all here to have a good time. take things slow. #this might just me being silly neurodivergent again but there's nothing wrong with being careful like this. it *may* just be me after all #but who knows but me #thoughts

[dhmis-autism]

ID LOVE TO SEE YOUR HUMAN RED GUY BTW

well gosh if you're gonna be so enthusiastic about it sure. here's a drawing i did of him a while back. if you really want i'll show you the others but ah, im shy.

#I KNOW HE'S BASIC I KNOW HE'S REAL BOILERPLATE OK. YOU DONT GOTTA TELL ME #my dhmis postings #dhmis red guy #me art #he can see just fine btw #he's like a cartoon emo kid alright #he can see fine #ALSO HE'S A NATURAL REDHEAD. HE HAS TO BE OKAY. #IT MAKES WAY MORE FUCKIN SENSE TO ME THAT HE WOULD BE A NATURAL REDHEAD THAN THAT HE WOULD DYE IT #like. bc naturally being a redhead is both something that would draw attention to him and something out of his control and you could tie a #really cool parallel between that and in-universe RGs height and stature bringing attention to him against his will bc he contrasts so hard #against the puppety nature of their world ykwim? #anyways. i know a lot of people make his hair dyed bc they read him as black and thats FAIR however there are. black redheads in the world. #like that exists!!! its REAL on this beautiful bitch of an earth!!! SO WHY NOT UTILIZE #its fine. i don't have strong feelings about this ok #<- (definitely has super strong feelings about RG humanizations)

[squishosaur]

hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this

#the reason rsa doesn't have overblots is because they understand the joy and whimsy of life and friendship btw #LIKE. why is there no school counselor?? do you know how much time & resources & effort & TRAUMA we could have saved the students & #school from if ANYONE had reached out to riddle and was like 'hey are you alright i heard xyz and i wanted to let you know...' ESPECIALLY #since TREY LITERALLY TELLS US 'oh well here's the lowdown on her trauma this is Probably what is causing this' #or if someone sat down to tell leona 'hey! i'm rooting for you in ur magift(?) game! you're my fav player!!' AND LET HIM FEEL NOTICED #or if someone approached azul as an Equal to try to stop his plans. as a friend even. BEYOND A BUSINESS TRANSACTION #or if ANYBODY BUT ESPECIALLY KALIM was like 'jamil i think you should follow your passions and do something you enjoy today!!' or AT LEAST #let him know he was appreciated as a person NOT JUST FOR HIS WORK #'i know you're doing a lot today but i just wanted to thank you for how much Effort you put into this and..' etc etc etc #ERM.. IF ANYONE TREATED VIL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CELEBRITY??? or even 'hey i loved you in this film i was wondering if we could #do a play together or something..!!' AND LET HER TRY A TYPE OF CHARACTER SHE NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE. and sing her praises. #if anyone reached out to idia beyond a 'hey the teacher said to come to class'/'get out of your bed and come to our housewarden meeting' #or even. IF ORTHO HIMSELF was like. 'you know it's not your fault... you didn't cause all of this. not really' OR SOMETHING #or if malleus ever got to experience a small firsthand loss AND WAS COMFORTED THROUGH IT. not just quick fix via magic. not replacing. just #GRIEVING SOMETHING??????? and wasn't feared by literally everyone #um. maybe the real twisted part is that all of this tragedy was easily preventable if we had a support system in place. #but idk. twst is a highschool. there's no support in real high school either. i'd probably overblot too if i could ajdjrjfinfdndjd #twst #chatter #LONG RAMBLE SORRY #yes overblots are essential to the plot. but also. do you know how frustrating it is watching the blot build up and sitting in silence. #I'M SORRY IK IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS HAPPENING TO A GUY I JUST MET I WOULD PROBABLY NOT NOTICE.. but of it was my Friend or Housewarden.. #I'D ASK BRO.... I'D ASK ... UGHHHHHUUUHHHH #not that anyone would notice if *I* was about to lose it tbh #speaks volumes about our society o think #OKAY NOW I'M DONE FOR REAL

[the-acid-pear]

Yesterday I was replaying Deltarune and I was going really insane about it picking up on things I missed on my first playthrough and something that fucked me up hard was this line here

The little ellipsis at the end, almost like you can hear the regret on their voice. Voice of an ad who is realizing maybe they fucked up on this one. But it also made me think of... The possibility of this being a reaction to Spamton's actions.

Because I don't think this was an automatic thing, I feel like their drifting off was gradual. Sure, their jealousy had won them over (I'd have killed the guy or myself if I was them so I don't even blame them) but Spamton was too getting busier and busier the more famous he got, and as they say, that never stopped. He only kept getting bigger, until it all came crashing down. And when it did it was one of them who tried to go find him, after all that.

But I digress, let's focus on the original quote from my favorite sigma enby themselves, Pink Addison. There's obviously not only the regret to it, but feeling like they were abandoned too. Both parties lost a lot and the real tragedy is just how easily it could've have been avoided! Or rather, how beyond their control it was...

But I'll get off topic if I keep speaking so I'll leave it at that. The sheer tragedy that there is to everyone involved just makes me insane. Like I said in a post previous to this; you cannot trace down a good guy or a bad guy in this tale, it's just desperate people taking awful decisions and living to regret their actions.

#luly talks #makes you wonder too like #THIS IS GOING ON THE TAGS BC IM JUMPING THE GUN TOO HARD #but after Pink says rhat they follw by saying ''even so he only got more and more successful'' and its making me FEEL something alright #that EVEN SO. like. were they expecting for him to... stop? to slow down? to give up his overwhelming fame to get them back? #there's so many things i just can't say because we know very little of the addisons and big shot era spamton #we dont even know if they were aware this is how he ended. we dont even know if Spamton tried to go back to them or if he totally refused to #it makes me sick it makes me insane i want to grab these colorful things and squish then on my palm #there's a lot of What Ifs but i think the answer wouldn't even matter because nothing could change anymore #its sososososososoooooo sad #like i see fandom woobify Spamton a lot and i HATE that sure he went thru a lot but he's a grown ass desperate man #he's not a poor uwu cinnamon roll he's insane and he's an asshole and he's a nuanced tragic character #and so are these motherfuckers!!!!!! #btw i originally had a paragraph about how mad I'd have been if i was an Addison but i ended up rewriting the whole post LMAO #anyway. yeah. it just makes me insane. #deltarune #Spamton #addisons

[uncharted-constellations]

Obviously we know dick and tim arent really the college types, but like, i feel like steph and jason are. You think they end up in some of the same classes? Like stephs gen ed and jasons a dual english & social work major and theyre both just suffering through their classmates in classic lit and steph is powering through by napping and jason is powering through with spite because a) hes gonna finish college fuck you joker and fuck you bruce and b) his classmates have No idea what this book is actually about oh my god

Steph sneaks cass into her intro to astronomy lectures and jason sneaks cass into storytelling because even though language isnt her thing she should still deserves education outside of bat stuff and while shes a little fidgity they can tell she enjoys it. All three of em sit together in abnormal psych, its not a good time. They still show up to every lecture though.

Theyve both shown up in partial costume before but noone cares because a) its college and b) its gotham. Half the class is wearing robin hoodies, so what if these two are extra.

It probably takes them a few semesters more than average and half their classmates probably know their secret identities but they get to graduate, even if scarecrow shows up halfway through the ceremony. At the very least bruce actually has to show up

#batfam #i have opinions about rights to education alright #and also opinions about the neccesity of college #go to college because you have a thirst for knowledge not because people tell you to #a lot of people like giving steph medical/psych training type stuff but i feel like shes just down for learning #especially when bruce is footing the tab #stephanie brown #jason todd #cassandra cain #cassandra wayne #ive also been salty about bruce lately lmao

[carefulfears]

what do you think mulder thinks of diana fowley after biogenesis through amor fati? i don't think we really see anything on screen/in text (though i think it says a lot that he didn't have much of a reaction when scully came to his apartment & instead focuses on scully & their relationship lol)

yeah there’s basically NOTHING in the text but tbh i think finding out for certain that she was working with CSM really kindaaaa snapped him out of some things…mulder doesn’t give a fuck what people do to him, obviously, but it’s a different thing entirely to find out that your ex is involved in something like that. like there are MILES from “my partner makes me feel like shit and is maybe pretty abusive” and “my partner is like 3rd on the call list of a eugenics group that treats women like test subjects”

like, scully was right, diana was monitoring MUFON women and collecting data on them. she was heading up the tests on cassandra. she probably knew the truth about samantha the whole time. just nasty nasty shit.

she’s the villain in the amor fati dream: the dismissive symbol of abandonment that offers another path.

one of the most interesting scenes of diana’s character to me, is in the sixth extinction, when she comes to see mulder in the hospital. and she knows what the effects of the artifact are, that he can hear what she’s thinking. that, therefore, he knows who she works for and what she’s doing. (imagine your ex-husband/wannabe boyfriend/obsession finds out you’re lying to him because he can read your mind….shit is crazy!)

and she tells him that she knows he knows. but that he also knows that she loves him.

and she does love him. there’s no reason to lie about that then, she knows he would be able to tell.

scully knows it without hearing it, that’s how she gets diana to save mulder’s life, ultimately. she comes to her and begs. tells her to please just think of him, who he is, who he was when she met him, who he is now. in the end, because of scully weaponizing how diana feels, diana can’t go through with it. she gives her life to help him.

diana seems to be one of those influences on mulder that’s only really all that significant when she’s close by. it’s like how all the tension in the beginning builds up to him getting in her car when she tells him to, leaving scully, when diana is there instructing him.

i think being able to know who she truly was and her true intentions and allegiances, prior to her death, really goes a long way in the way he responds to losing her.

don’t get me wrong, i think he’s upset. you can kind of see the shock cross his face when scully tells him. but he stays focused on his goal, which is to express to scully how important she is to him, in the wake of how discarded diana always made her feel.

mulder loved diana and grieves that she was killed, he doesn’t have it in him not to, but mostly he…wanted something from her, right? he wanted that approval and “affection” and to please her. he wanted her to believe him. the first thing that she says to disarm him (in the end) when she can tell he’s uneasy, is, “hey. i’m on your side.”

learning who she really is, it’s easier not to crave her approval so badly.

(this is the crux of amor fati’s “last temptation.” it’s diana saying: you’re childish. you are going to fail. your path is not your own. “you have to let go, fox.” and it’s scully countering: we need you. this is who you are.)

(it’s why he responds in the end by telling scully that it’s her that’s the voice of truth.)

and then in death, diana’s not…there for him to want anything from!! so it’s like, again, yeah he obviously feels the loss, this was someone who meant a lot to him for over a decade. but also it’s likeeeeee freeing in a way? it makes things simpler in a way? (he’s able to communicate all of that to scully instantly after hearing diana is gone, after over a year of the tension hanging around it)

if you asked him about diana now, or even a year later, i think he’d be like…damn that’s crazy! 😭😭 mulder doesn’t have an awful lot of object permanence you guys sjdjsjfj

when scully comes to tell mulder that diana was killed, and he says to her, “you were my friend, and you told me the truth,” the language matters so much. that’s what scully called diana, “i know she was your friend,” and he turns it back onto her. you were my friend. you told me the truth.

in my opinion, it’s not that he doesn’t love and grieve diana, but that there’s a freedom in knowing the truth. knowing who someone is, and their intentions. knowing who has your best interest at heart. knowing where you stand in the world, what you want to do.

that’s really what allows for the openness and lightness of s7, in the wake of diana’s absence. mulder’s always seeking, always learning.

#in a lot of ways diana knows mulder sooo well #like her mannerisms and every little word and phrase are so carefully chosen #like that moment in ‘the end’ when she says she’s on his side and takes his hand #her VERY first line on the show is telling a room full of people that she thinks mulder is right. that she believes him. #something she continues to enforce when she needs to #i was just looking at ‘the beginning’ and the way that when he kinda doesn’t trust her after she took over the x-files #and they find her outside #she says ‘fox. i’m going to get out of the car. i’m alone. alright?’ #like she communicates with him in a way where like….if she had good intentions it would be exactly how to help/calm him #but because she DOESNT it’s EXACTLY how to have him eating out of the palm of her hand #very interesting character very vile woman #anyway idk i think there’s something very ‘good for him!’ esque about how quickly he moves on from her 💀 #i think he’s able to for all the reasons i cited here about knowing what she’s doing and who she is #but mulder is sooooo easily wrapped up in trying to please someone or trying to help someone and getting in a shit situation #and that controls so much of their lives for so long #and i was trying to think about it and i feel like diana’s death kinda is the last time that he’s so trapped in that! #he still does it on a smaller extent ofc but it’s less about the person more the situation after diana if i recall #asks #amor fati #diana

[lambjock]

i have too many thoughts on the deleted jackienat scene for a girl who's supposed to be enjoying her birthday lol. i think at the root of it all, it's highly likely that when the actresses breathed life into the characters, and scenes got improvised, some things just stopped making sense for characters to do. including good things, like with jackie's 'i love you' to shauna! and i think this is the case for natalie looking at jackie with hatred before leaving her out in the cold. maybe at one point in her early stages of characterization it made sense, but clearly the people on the show didn't think that way anymore at some point, hence the cut. also ngl people taking this deleted scene, which for all we know didn't even make it into the final script, as some sort of 'gotchu' for jackienat enjoyers ( romantic or otherwise ) is weird as hell to me. like, it was removed for a reason.

#my posts. #yellowjackets #im tired and its my birthday so maybe this doesnt make much sense but #i have lots of thoughts i cant stop thinking abt this scene #a mix of good and bad tbh #but mostly watching people act as if this completely destroys jackienat is hilarious to some degree #since a huge part of their appeal has always been how similiar they are. that's what jackienat is founded on #and with that similarity comes a hatred especially since both girls have a self loathing streak #so regardless whether people view this as a huge characterization moment for nat or not doesn't change this #people seem to forget how much natalie genuinely hated lottie and was jealous of her as well! it doesn't mean she loved her any less #natalie at her core is a teenage girl like the rest of them. she has flaws and pettiness and does things she regrets. a *lot* #but on the other hand she'd do anything for travis. that's who she lives for. and the only one who helped her save him was jackie #jackie might've stolen him away for the night but the others were gonna take him away forever #which is something natalie would hate more than jackie fucking him. hell in the show she even says she could care less about the sex #she just wanted travis to be *alright.* #had natalie been in the cabin when jackie was calling the girls out for what they did last night you KNOW she would've sided with her #would she have cared about the highschool drama between shauna and jackie? who knows. #but no matter her personal feelings on jackie they had a mutual hatred and disgust for what happened during doomcoming #and i think that would've mattered more to nat at the time. in a swarm of angry feral teenagers the only one she could trust then was jacki #of course these are just my personal opinions which im purposefully keeping brief lol #but like. i just have too many thoughts on this it would take an essay to iron them out so here's this i guess!

[faunandfloraas]

my most controversial skz hair opinion is: I liked chan with the bright red angry birds hair but any time any other member of skz has had red hair, I'm either largely indifferent or i dont like it

#which is funny bc i feel like lots of people didnt like chan with the red but i think he look p cool #and by red i mean RED #not ginger. ginger is different. I like ginger on most the guys #probably the only other time red was alright was maybe the auburn red on changbin years ago #and fluro red melting down his neck at a concert hyunjin was alright #but otherwise all the times dudes have had red or red auburn hair im like OK. Now do it any other colour. #idk maybe they dont have the right skintone or something it just is 🤷‍♀️ to me

[phoenixcatch7]

Man I am just SO CONFUSED. About the time line of this game.

No one is telling me how long links been gone! Or how long the botw-totk timeskip was! They all just started selling my stuff again lol. I'm going to have to get everything redyed!

Me: hey random stranger! Lore dump? You look like a lore dumper.

Kindly npc: why hullo there, link ^^! My, I haven't seen you in a while since the calamity ended! I was so worried when they said you and the princess had gone missing! But it's good to see you're well.

Me: aw, thanks. How long has it actually been tho.

Kindly npc: ^u^

#Having a great time btw I've just been chased across a near sea of miasma by stal riders and more! 10/10 nearly died in a high speed chase #Made it out relatively unscathed which is truly amazing lmao #Spoilers ahead: I have had the funniest time doing the great plateau quest chain. Once I sucked it up and made nice with the creepy statue. #He's(?) been alright. Fair trader. Good deals. I've mostly been terrorising kohga in between absolutely failing to craft working vehicles X #His new boss fights are so much easier than the first one lol. Less fun I'll admit but the music is groovy. You can probably make a #Machine and try and dog fight him but with few exceptions the turning circles are decrepit so I just stuck to mild dodging and shooting him #And running over to hit him some more. Kinda bland for a boss fight I'll say. Could have done with a lot more pizazz. It's kohga come on. #Anyway I do feel kinda bad because apparently he's been stuck down there for however many months/years and I AM kinda cheating with the arm #After the first fight he fled to the gerudo mine and the steward very nicely showed me how to get there but never underestimate #My procrastination because I'd already found it by just exploring so I just teleported. In game it must have been terrifying lmao #Racing across an endless void filled only by the light of your rapidly running out of battery glider and the red glow of the gloom away fro #The apparently immortal ancient warrior who beat you up and tossed you down there and there's no sign of perusal so you're probably safe #But you get there and he's already sitting there poking some bananas having wiped out your goons and plundered your supplies. #Like sorry man but the arm comes with the hero territory I can't exactly take it off. #Maybe if you stopped terrorising the people purah would let you have one of her long distance teleportation slates. It comes with photos? #It can't have been long since botw link hasn't grown an inch XD. Also I've been turning the lore timeline over in my head and still no idea #Are we not sure Rauru isn't from some alternate timeline that got fused with the main loz timeline by accident?? #loz #legend of zelda #totk #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #loz tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers

[ghosts-cyphera]

we love you so much angel! & we are proud of you. please don’t be too hard on yourself. 🩷

love you the most-most 💗 )-:

#tw suicide #tw depression #I’m deleting my original tags again I’m sorry #I don’t want to make you all feel worse #in short: depression relapse. I have an appointment with my gp tomorrow morning (in six hours). I’ll be alright I’m sure #I just feel really hopeless right now and staying positive feels really hard #I also self-isolate a lot when I’m down so if you don’t see me around for a while please know that I’m okay. #just recovering and hopefully getting the help I know I need #I love you all so very much #cw depression #cw suicide #lo answers