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#i just find that endlessly fascinating and essays at my year are still so strictly formulaic to make them easy that it makes it really hard
teeforhee · 3 years
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MOST of the time I have better motives than spite. love, or joy, or curiousity, or doing well to show off. however SOMETIMES my English teacher will give such a bare-bones surface-level cream-cracker-boring analysis and now. now this essay is fueled by spite.
#i cant even remember what he said exactly but i remember the bubbling rage of hearing it and it has fueled mw#walking away is super interesting!! theres a lot going on on the surface level and a lot going on underneath that!!#his point is a huge far-reaching one about the very nature of parenting and selfhood and love and also (idk if this was even on purpose)#he describes his son as being moved withour agency over and over - he is 'wrenched like a satelite from its orbit' or he is 'eddying away'#in a crowd of other kids. and then at the end. his son is Walking Away. the two other times his movement is mentioned it is withour agency#without action from the boy himself. he is Being Moved he is the object he is not performing an action. he is an object. he is Day-Lewis'#Son. and then at the end. he is Walking Away. doing an action. moving himself with choice and purpose. he is Doing not Being Done To#i just find that endlessly fascinating and essays at my year are still so strictly formulaic to make them easy that it makes it really hard#to express my actual thoughts and feelings and analysis!! bcus if i dont stick to the strict formula - topic sentence period. quote#'this has connotations of... which implies...' and quote name technique 'the author is ... which makes the reader think...' repeat for all#quotes next paragraph. repeat. introduction paragraph is Introduce Poem with 2-3 positive adjectives. describe surface level meaning. link#to question. end introduction. like it's That Simple which is super easy and all. but I've never learned how to do like. A Real Essay.#like an independent one. i dont know what they need what this structure Fullfills what would actually make it Good rather than just#Will Get The Marks; Contains Necessary Information; Demonstrates Understanding Of Text and Techniques#like i wanna write ESSAYS. GOOD ONES!!! but i dont know how to jump the gap between fill-in-the-blanks style essays and actual real ones#mine#isbdjsjsbs sleepy. ignore this if you wish. also ok to rb i dont mind
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metteivieharrison · 7 years
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What Are Your Writing Habits?
I know that when I was starting writing, I was endlessly fascinated with other writers’ habits. Did they write every day? Did they have a writing goal each day? Did they write in the same place each time? Did they write long hand or on a computer in a draft? Did they keep snacks where they were, so they didn’t get up or did they plan breaks into their writing process? Did they go back over what they had written the day before or did they just move forward? Did they use an outline or not? How did they create an outline? Did they write about their characters before they started or just listen to dialog? On and on.
Yes, this is interesting. But frankly, it’s mostly a distraction from the work of writing. I suspect most people do this because they’re looking for someone who has habits similar to their own, so they can say to themselves, see, here’s another person who does this crazy thing that I do to get going. See, my way is right. See, it can work this way and still lead to publication.
So let’s just get that over with to begin with. Whatever your process and whatever your habits, if they lead to you getting words on a page on a regular basis, to producing a complete manuscript, and they work for you, then they’re right. There may be no way to change them, even if you want to.
(Caveat here: if your writing method includes you having to drink a copious amount of alcohol before you can get anything down on the page, this might not be the best method. Likewise, if you can’t write unless you have absolute quiet or a certain set of ideal circumstances, consider that you are actually procrastinating instead of using a method that works for you.)
If you’re interested, my writing habits have changed a lot over the years. Before I had children and was working full-time, I often wrote right after dinner for as long as it took to get my word count (500 words at the time). When my children were small, I wrote during naptime (I enforced naptime rather strictly until they were in school—I don’t care if you’re sleepy, it’s naptime!). At that time, my goal was 1500 words. Then I reached a point where I realized that my word count goal was doing bad things to my writing. It was making me write every sentence as long as possible because that would get me closer to my end goal. So I changed my goal to 10 pages, and when I realized that I was writing one sentence at the top of a page before I hit a hard return to begin a new page, I stopped with that goal and started having a goal based on scenes and chapters instead.
These days, I no longer have a separate office where I keep the door closed to remind my kids to give me space because my kids are all teenagers and I might never see them if I did that. Instead, I work on the living room couch so I can say goodbye and greet them when they come home. I often work a few hours in the morning and take a long lunch break (with a workout). In the mornings, I focus on new work and in the afternoons, I’ll do correspondence or other things. If I’m on deadline, I work on that as a priority, and if I finish what I need to do, I might write a short essay as a “treat.”
None of this matters, as I said, except as a matter of curiosity. You’re going to find your own habits that work and they will likely change over time. I never used to write by outline, but am now doing it a lot and think it’s marvelous.
Get the words out. Write what you love and feel called to write. Find patterns that enable these two things and you’re good.
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2018 Round Up
A lot can happen in a year
I think a yearly wrap up can be difficult at the best of times, but when I’m still on an academic timetable figuring out what happened this year can be kind of tough. I know I’m not the only one, the idea that this year has felt like a long one is all over the internet. Unlike most the internet, however, I don’t think mine has been such a shitstorm. Sure, the world might crash and burn in the foreseeable future, but things are looking up on a personal level.
This year, I feel more confident than I ever have. My second year at university really reassured me that I was in the right place, and despite striking lecturers and partaking in a sit-in protest, I finished the year with better grades than I had really thought I could achieve. This set me in great standing for third year, and over the summer I started reading for my dissertation (fully advise you do this if you have a dissertation next year, it helps so so much). A dissertation which I’ve just finished this week. I’m pretty proud of all the work I’ve put into it, so we’ll just have to see how it does when I hand it in!
Over the summer, I did a brief internship with an academic publishing company. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t great, but it was experience. Supposedly you need experience to get a job, so I guess it’s going to be helpful. When uni started up again, my placement in a different publishing company started. As part of a module, there was to be an essay at the end of this one. I didn’t love it, especially when I was simply given admin tasks, but as the weeks went by it got more interesting, and I really appreciated the opportunity to work for an independent publisher focused on a good cause. The last academic thing I want to mention, is my dissertation presentation. I was nervous af for this presentation. I am miles more confident, and don’t get as worried about presentations as I used to, but I was about to talk about lesbian sex in front of 20 people. I feel like it’s fair to worry. Sat in the room though, I realised everyone was just as nervous as each other. Shoutout to the friend who was their with me, and who I wouldn’t have been able to do it without.
Looking back over my diary, I’m kind of shocked that some of the events took place this year. I’ve ticked a few more theatre shows off my ‘must watch’ list - Hamilton, Wicked, and War Horse - as well as a couple of bucket list things - I went go karting for the first time, attended an outdoor cinema (almost in the pouring rain), and I got an article published in an online magazine. It feels like a lot of these happened years ago to tell the truth, but they were all so incredible.
Of course, the year hasn’t been entirely joyful, incredible opportunities. I left my job this year. It was the right decision, of course, and I was happy to move on from the place, but it was a very strange feeling to leave the people there. After three years I had made a lot of connections there, and I have to admit I’ve failed to keep up with these people… that’s something I think I’ll have to work on next year. I’ve had several panic attacks this year. Nothing too serious, or too frequent, but they stick out in my mind as grey patches. When I have an attack, I remember it in flashes. At the time fully conscious of what’s happening, looking back there’s little to no auditory memory, and the overwhelming feeling is one of taking up too much space or ruining someone’s night. It kind of sucks. In early December, I had my first panic attack in front of my parents. Though they knew it had happened before, I find it quite hard to talk to them about it, so whilst I’m happy they could see it to understand what happens, it felt extra embarrassing to show them that part of me.
On the other hand, I found Boo - the best burger place I’ve ever been too. I took part in a mini-surprise party for a friend. I started baking! (and I make a damn good coffee cake). I went to watch my boyfriend play a varsity hockey match at university. Despite the rain, I had a great day, and it was the first time I’d watched him play. I felt like I understood him a little better after watching him do something he loved so passionately. At the other end of summer, we went back to university and celebrated our year anniversary. I met his parents this year - and I’m meeting more of his family next week! Things are going great.
As my friends and I ate our (home-cooked) Christmas dinner in my university kitchen, talking about what we’d be doing when we all went home the next day, it struck us that this was our last Christmas at university. Everything we did this year was the last time we’d be doing it and next year we’d all be back home (or somewhere else, at least) and it would be harder to see each other. I’ve made friends for life at uni, and I want to take this opportunity to thank them for everything they’ve done for me. Things wouldn’t be the same without them.
Anyway, I’m done being soppy. Here’s my top five books of the year! What were some of your favourite books, and what would you recommend I pick up next year?
Happy New Year, wishing you all the best for 2019!
Top 5 Books of the Year
One of Us is Lying, Karen McManus Before this year, I’d rarely read any books that were outright mysteries, let alone murder mysteries, but One of Us is Lying has definitely changed my outlook. I’m actually thinking about reading some classic detective novels like Christie, or Conan Doyle. Though not entirely unpredictable, One of Us is Lying was so interesting, and I loved how simple it appeared in the beginning compared with how complex the characters became.
Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Becky Albertalli I’m a sucker for a romance, and this one ticked all the boxes: pining, mystery, angst, slow build, family support, ah it was just great. I talked about it a lot in my review, but Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda confronted the idea of outing people really well, as well as supporting people when they come out. The moments between Simon and his parents really touched me, whilst Simon and Blue were endlessly entertaining. Fully recommend this book!
The Martian, Andy Weir Such a surprise! I will never be over how funny The Martian was. Mark Watney was hilarious. A sense of humour, intelligence, and motivation to keep himself going despite being stuck all alone on Mars...great admiration for the man. And, of course, for Weir. The science went straight over my head, but his writing was incredible. Probably wouldn’t read much more scifi, but I definitely enjoyed this dip into the genre.
White Teeth, Zadie Smith Despite reading this for a university module, it really was one of my favourite books of the year. It’s about diversity, finding your place in the world, family, self-confidence, it’s just a really wonderful, witty book. Zadie Smith knows just how to write real life, and even when the characters are infuriating, there’s something endearing about them. Fully recommend this one - and don’t be intimidated by the length, I promise you’ll get through it quicker than you think!
Circe, Madeline Miller I was torn for fifth place between Circe and The Taming of the Queen. Strictly speaking, Taming of the Queen should be here - I gave it a higher rating at the time of reading it, but something just didn't feel right about that. I really enjoyed it, but looking back now, Circe was feels like the better book, there’s something visceral about it. I think it could be Miller’s style of writing, it’s so beautiful and transporting, that even though the political workings of Henry VIII’s court were fascinating, it just doesn’t hold up in the same way. I don’t think I could reread Taming of the Queen, but I would Circe - and if that’s not the mark of a good book, I don’t know what is.
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