#i just don't trust people anymore

[aro-culture-is]

Alloaro culture is wanting a similar word to qpr for a committed partner you have sex with sometimes that is not romantic: qpr isn’t right because it has the word platonic in it.

hi! in a very gentle way, i am vibrating to let you know this is incorrect :)

from the POV of someone who's been around the aro community since ~2013-2014 on tumblr, the only time i've seen folks start to say that qprs couldn't include sexual components has been when

they've learned an incorrect definition of QPRs, or

in one particularly notable case, the individual proposing it turned out to be quite sex negative and upset at the mere thought that people could think that qprs could include sexual activity. this individual suggested an alternative term for individuals desiring sex in QPRs in a rather explicitly alloarophobic measure. when gently called out from what had seemed to be a genuine attempt at coining a new term, the above came to light. smaller cases of this pop up every once in a while, but this one got some notoriety.

queerplatonic was always meant to mean "queering the idea of a platonic relationship", "queering the idea of what a relationship means", and by explicit definition, has always been broadly and radically inclusive. any relationship, so long as the partners involved agree it is a queerplatonic one, is queerplatonic. no exceptions. this can mean it involves romance, sex, traditionally platonic elements, and anything and everything those involved desire out of it.

tldr; the word platonic is in queerplatonic to say it is counter to the idea of a restricted "platonic" relationship.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod phoenix #pls don't ask me what the term had been or who the blogger was. i forgor #idk when it was anymore either cause it was uuuuhhhhh really distressing #i do think this blog existed tho so probs 2019 ish #sex negativity cw #alloarophobia cw #queerplatonic #i know it can be easy to get an incorrect or like. sanitized take online of what things mean #but generally speaking if the word is queer + [something] that [something] is being modified to be counter-cultural intuition #not just queer people *doing* the culturally intuitive version of that word #like... our system is genderqueer broadly speaking [i ID as agender or genderfuck primarily but most of the system also IDs as genderqueer] #and trust me this is not queer person doing Cis Binary Gender this is queer person says 'fuck that gender shit imma do what i want :)' #also pretty please know this is all being said in like. a smiling happy-to-share way! #this is not being said as like. 'uhhhhm aktually' mansplaining

[magentagalaxies]

.

#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!) #and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student) #and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!'' #i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time'' #and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!! #but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too. #i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point) #and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering) #2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!) #even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

[felizusnavidad]

i'm going home tomorrow & i'm so excited to see my family, i really missed them

#also my mom told me some time ago that i'm really brave & i shouldn't give up #but i don't feel brave i feel tired #so basically i had three different jobs this year #first one i quit because i hated it & it was too chaotic #i got fired from the second one after over a month because apparently i was too nice #now the third one i know is just temporary because it's similar to the one i quit last year #and it's only because i need money so i can't stay jobless #my situation is kinda fucked up because i live here alone so i have to pay rent #and i really don't want to go back to my parents #i know i can but i wanna stay here #i've been working so hard to move to my favourite city and i want to start studies here this year i just can't give up #so i just took the job i didn't want #and i keep looking for something i might actually like #but god i'm tired #i feel like the biggest fucking failure #i just need a normal fucking job jesus why is it so hard #i don't want to work with customers anymore i hate people #and i also want to earn a little more money because trust me it's not that easy to live fucking alone #i mostly spend my money on food cause unfortunately i have to eat #but i'm not interested in just surviving i really want to start feeling alive again #ugh #talking shit for the hell of it*

[sheryl-lee]

im sorry but the foolishness of being on a gif-dominated website that is barely functioning at all times and telling the users who have been making and posting those gifs for YEARS that "actually i know better about this than all of you" while saying things that are entirely false and laughably untrue. and making a fucking PSA like you're a genius for it like be fucking serious. be so for real.

#they said 'color it over with a filter' 😭 it takes days to make gifs i WISH it were that simple #if it were i wouldn't be so mad about people stealing my shit #and they made a whole post on their main too like okay. you REALLY thought you did something #no one gives a fuck about gif makers in 2023 but i'm entitled to be annoyed that people steal the things i work on #and that doesn't give you the right to get on my post and act like you're the fucking expert on copyright law for tumblr gifs when #trust me. you don't know what the fuck you're talking about #and that's the last thing im gonna say. honestly this is why i don't make gifs that often anymore #because this is the bullshit you get just for asking people to respect your work and not steal it or claim it as yours when it isn't. #sameera.txt

[anerol152]

Speaking of Sky, I love recommending this game to people.

Hi, yes, would you like an open world RPG that's just so pretty you wanna cry where nothing bad ever happens okay, never, and the whole point of the game is to make friends and unlock backstories of different characters and wear pretty outfits and there is no name or gender restriction you can just be your best self :D

Also you may or may not be stuck in purgatory or a post-apocalyptic world. But don't worry about that it's fineeeeeee. Just look at this pretty sunset in the Valley, isn't it pretty?

#sky cotl #sky children of the light #that sky game #nah but the lore channel on ds and the new trailer and what may or may not be a very lore-packed upcoming season really do make you think #also it's just really funny seeing people react to seeing shrimps for the first time #90% of the friends I introduced to them don't trust me anymore but on the other hand it was really funny

[phantasyhalation]

i understand that many current shmup-playing touhou fans began the games with imperishable night. however, i still believe it's a horrible recommendation for a first game. completely inaccessible lore-wise, does hardly a thing to introduce any of its playable characters, and built on gimmicks which never appear again. i can never recommend it as a start—you need at least PCB and preferably EOSD to enjoy most of what it has to offer, and there's other easy entries with just as many popular characters with far more straightforward writing.

#eosd is weird and shouldn't be taken As Canon at face value anymore—trust later works first. pcb is still mostly fine. #all of bougetsushou (sans CiLR—which no one reads!) is Weird and Obtuse foundational texts you can put off for however long #bougetsushou survivorship bias is real. i don't like MoF much but just point people to MoF. #even HSiF makes more sense without context tbh #touhou #latency.txt

[marmorada]

news agencies right now are really like

I CAN'T BELIEVE PAULINE GAY WAS FORCED TO RESIGN

for plagiarism

and ummm dangerous antisemitism

BY CONSERVATIVE SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huh

#I just don't know why people don't trust democrats or news establishments anymore!!!!!

[orchideae]

When I approach Yelan (or anyone else I've written), I don't just look directly at her character, but I also look at her surroundings. Both the ones that she knows by some semblance of necessity, but also those that she chooses. Like here, I talked about the Chasm, and what being 'okay' with existing down there needs to mean for a character, because it's not normal. Someone's surroundings, room, or home say a lot bout who they are and what their mindset, or specifically, their perspective is of the world. And sometimes, I think it says more about people than even the characters realize.

This brings me to the topic of the city of Fontaine. Now, I personally think it's rather obvious that a lot of the nation takes from historical France, and so when looking at it, I think it really adds to remember its monarchy, the view that the 'common folk' had of it, and its inevitable demise to non-existence today in terms of importance as a result. So my first question is, who constructed or decided on its layout? Was it Furina, Neuvillette, Egeria? Whoever it was, there's a lot that can be said about their view of the world and their placement in it when you look at locations of buildings. Look at where Palais Mermonia, its governing body, is located within the city; it sits at a rather astounding elevation in comparison to, well, everything and everyone else in the city. This frequently represents the concept of 'distance' between groups in one way or another, and seeing the consistency in other nations, this is something that is rather intriguing to me, especially keeping Fontaine's characters in mind (and considering this is the nation of 'justice'). Mondstadt has everything almost entirely uniform, with arguably the church on the highest level (but it isn't greatly elevated in comparison to all else), but it's joined with the plaza and statue which are a common gathering site for all people in the city. Liyue had the gods and adepti visibly living among the humans back in the days of the Guili Assembly for reasons of 'integration' (my apologies to numerous from our dear Guizhong!) The fact that numerous adepti now live far outside of the harbor is a different matter entirely, and the one who seems to function within a semblance of separation of sorts is Ningguang with the Jade Chamber (but I'm not one to speak on behalf of her character as I don't bear the knowledge). Inazuma also has the Tenshukaku at a higher elevation in comparison to the rest of Inazuma City. Sumeru is interesting, but ultimately Nahida was kept at the very peak of the city, far out of reach of humanity— but that's exactly the common denominator that has my interest, the distance between the 'governing body' and humanity for one reason or another.

But Fontaine really takes separation to a different level in my opinion (and again, think of this when you think of the person having designed the whole city), not only because of the above which I'll elaborate more on in a moment, but also its separation from the outside world. Now, this is interesting to think about if you keep in mind that it was perhaps done in eventual protection of the city's inhabitants in terms of the prophecy (which means that this would have been constructed anywhere during or after Egeria's reign), but then why is only Palais Mermonia far above the water's reach? If the walls surrounding the city were ever breached during said prophecy, all its inhabitants are pretty much immediately caught in the flood and would drown, which tells me nothing positive of the city's 'architect' or whoever signed off on the designs. But if not done for the prophecy, then why? Stand in the middle of the Court of Fontaine and really look around you, the only sights you really have of the outside world are the sky, and it's obstructed by a fair bit of the waterways and gardens that hang overhead, which you can only properly enjoy when you take the ages long elevator to the upper level where the palace is located (which, credit due, seems freely accessible to everyone in present-time). But if you don't venture up, how much of the outside world do you get to see? It feels very secluded, very much under lock and key. On some level (and this is one of the many reasons why I think that the Meropide is so excessively important in Fontaine and it's likely why we spent so much time there; it's all to show the ever, ever important contrast and nuance between this 'autonomous nation within Fontaine' and, well, 'Fontaine'), it almost feels like a prison, regardless of how pretty it may look or come across (and despite not 'lacking rights'). And considering how people in the Meropide speak of not always wanting to return back to the 'overworld' following their sentence, I think that there's definitely quite a bit of truth in that. But again, stand there and look around for yourself.

Now to return to the original topic, but keeping the last one in mind as well, look at one other thing that I'm unsure how many have really kept an eye on: the massive effect Palais Mermonia's level has on the rest of the area (inside and outside of its walls). Have you ever walked through the city of Fontaine at any given time of day or night, north to south, east to west, clockwise or counter-clockwise circling through it; have you ever seen how it overshadows an immense part of the streets below it either entirely on its own (which to me signifies a very domineering presence), or together with those outer walls that surround the city? I know how I've spoken thoroughly with people before about how much I enjoy Fontaine and how dark it is in its storytelling, but despite how gorgeous this region with its water- and landscapes are; its city bears quite a heavy weight to me. I don't know who designed it, or ordered it to be constructed in this way, but nothing about the city itself truly, rationally, shows a healthy perspective versus its citizens.

Me: /continues on to ramble in tags because I'm me and I'm a nuisance with always more to say than I know how to coherently put into these posts.

#[ meta. ] the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? #[ i love how i'm writing a liyue-based character and here i am rambling about fontaine. ] #[ listen my little french heart just ached at this. i've been sitting on it for so long and have been wanting to talk about it. ] #[ but every time i hear 'fontaine is so pretty' -- i agree. i truly do. and the city has become my new 'hub' away from liyue harbor... ] #[ which says a ton in itself. ] #[ so trust me when i say i enjoy it and find it gorgeous. but i don't have any real kind words to spare on who designed it. ] #[ and i don't mean that in an insulting/bad kind of way but more so in the sense of-- whichever god likely designed this-- ] #[ how much worth was placed where; you know? ] #[ this is why i find the gods and all of their differing views so inherently interesting. ] #[ but then i also sit here longer and think more of the meropide. ] #[ and how THAT is supposed to be the prison. hmmmm. and yet /that/ is the place many seem to not want to leave anymore. ] #[ the place that is run and made better by the person whose tragic case was entirely missed and neglected by the authorities. ] #[ ah yes; the meropide. aka meropis-- the retelling (was it a parody? i believe so) of plato's story of atlantis. ] #[ which was sunk by the gods as punishment to its people for leading lives they deigned morally unjust and petty and /greedy/. ] #[ ah yes. the references never end. ] #[ granted we know how the meropide came to be-- so if egeria was in charge of that. chances are she likely was for fontaine as well. ] #[ well-- ] #[ well. ] #[ yep. i have more to say but i'm struggling to find my words-- so here we are for now! ]

[engagemythrusters]

Mace Windu haters: I think Count Dooku is a great person, actually--

#YOU CAN LIKE HIM THATS FINE HES JUST A HORRIBLE PERSON AND ABSOLUTELY NOT A GOOD GUY #HES NOT YOUR SOFT GRANPA TO OBI-WAN #HE LITERALLY SELLS PEOPLE TO SLAVERY #sorry im mad at mace windu haters again #bc they always also seem to think count dooku is the pinnacle of righteousness? for whatever idiotic reason? #0/10 i don't know if you should be watching star wars anymore if that's your thoughts. #meanwhile. mace windu's great failings are... ig that he doesn't trust anakin? after anakin pulls a bunch of skeevy shit? #yeah. hm. that's not a failing. that's just going 'this guy doesn't listen to council orders. not sure i can trust that.' #goddddd i don't like windu haters. #at all. #opposite of dooku in that. you don't have to like him but to HATE him??? #YIKES. #suck my dick eat a rock. #count dooku #yan dooku #mace windu #star wars #(Again. yes you don't have to like every character. that's fine. you can also enjoy fucked up characters. that's also fine.)

[set-wingedwarrior]

.

#I know it may sound dramatic but #I am very selective with people I follow #Because I want to avoid specific stuff from getting to me #Before I decide to follow you I check very carefully #And if I do I will trust you #As in i will trust that you won't post about that specific stuff I hate #Because I went back a a lot on your blog looking for it and didn't find it #So I think yeah they're trustworthy #I get comfortable #I find them in my dash thinking yeah they're a good one! #So having one of those blogs suddenly reblog one of the things I specifically wanted to avoid #Is a bigger deal that it seems #My trust is broken #I won't see them the same way anymore #And what do I do? It's a first time do i let it slide? #Yet they tagged the thing and that means they might want to keep traco of it #Do I unfollow? #I don't want that shit in my dash #If it was for me it just shouldn't exist at all #I hate this #Rant

[monadocyclone]

I genuinely wish that the people who use the dead dove tag WITHOUT actually tagging properly would realise that it's like saying "trigger warning" and then refusing to elaborate.

#gonna add it to my filters if people are gonna use it as a catchall warning cause i don't trust fics that get tagged with it anymore #a marti post #if you refuse to tag your fics properly purely to ''own the antis'' i wish you'll explode. #ship what you want. i don't care. just tag it for the love of FUCK

[sweetly-yours-and-mine]

i wish everyone except those people on tiktok who monetize sick animals and try to guilt trip me into giving them interactions a very good day

#there is a special place in hell for them #maybe they are true but i just can't trust people on the internet anymore #and i don't think they're even going to be using that money for the animal if they're so desperate to be begging people online for it

[lexicog]

traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM

#just realized i wrote may instead of marsh lmao. fuck it #trans day of visibility #trans day of eating food #tdov #tdov 2024 #transgender day of visibility #trans #transgender #lgbt #gay #my art #another year eh #still in pretransition purgatory (get me tf out!!!) #idk man past year's been bad. last time i showered was july i'm goin 9 months strong 9 months weak 9 months decrepit #i manage to go through the motions with not much else in the way of progress. eat sleap shit piss rinse reuse recycle #trans day of eating food is shaky too this year. just found out yesterday i can't eat a snack anymore that i've liked since i was a kid #discovered a new love for green beans though. everything in balance #with my living situation getting more unsafe i've been thinking a lot about asking my neighbor if i can stay with him and his family #cause i don't like... see people other than them anymore so i don't know anyone else i can ask lol #and maybe i can get my shit together and start transitioning if i get out..... it's the least i need to do anyways #at least i gotta ask if he would be willing to oversee my funeral in the event of it cause i do nnnnot trust my next of kin with that shit #go watch youtube “Protecting Trans Bodies in Death” by Caitlin Doughty. contains important info for anyone really but #especially so for the titular transengendered individual #write your will... OK? #it doesn't have to be a bummer do it with a friend make it a girls night boys night hotties sleepover #death mention cw #wish i had more to say on the topic this year that wasn't a downer. i'll see what the next year holds #and hey... if a guy like me isn't giving up a motherfucker like you sure as hell shouldn't... adios & bon voyage my compatriots. SALUTE

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

.

#update for my friends here #(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol) #I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me. #wish my emotions would come back and be normal #and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes. #there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it. #and I'm aching for resolution. #but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced #even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore. #I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience. #I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them. #I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home. #I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust. #I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust. #everything just moves so fast. #if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life #and relationships and stuff #during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them! #love you all <3

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends? #it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow. #i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay. #but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up. #i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay. #and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers. #and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail. #i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

[cookinguptales]

as much as I wish it were otherwise, I feel like the way I would die in a horror movie is absolutely going to some out-of-the-way location to learn about a local religious custom and getting sacrificed or something.

like on one hand, I am always scrupulously respectful of the belief systems I'm studying, including accepting that some knowledge is not meant for me and that's okay, but on the other hand, I have been known to do some truly stupid bullshit to learn about something esoteric that's on public display. lmao

#just me #plus honestly since getting out of evangelical christianity as a teen #I find that I don't really believe or disbelieve anything anymore #(except I guess for the religion I was raised in which I have very much distanced myself from) #I respect some religious institutions and practices more than others for sure #and I'm mindful of politics and abuse in religious sects #but when people hear I did rels in college they often ask #'so which religion is right?' #and I don't know that I can conceptualize it that way anymore #I was raised in a religious environment that didn't allow me to respect or learn about other religions and I hated it #I was so closed before that I feel like I've rebelled against that by being very open now #so everything feels equally plausible and implausible to me now #I don't know that I can fully believe OR disbelieve in anything anymore #maybe that part of me is broken #the part that can trust and have faith #even the part of me that can be sure that something ISN'T real #I don't know #but like... many religious folks and places are just happy to teach anyone who's open to their beliefs and practices #you don't have to be a true believer #they just want to share their religion with you in any way you'll take it #but sometimes you DO have to be a true believer #and those are the situations in which I feel deeply uncomfortable and try to avoid #but maybe I'll end up getting killed by some religious group that kills outsiders who don't fully believe in things lmao #dying as I lived: being a nosy bitch #cw: #religion