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not-a-big-slay · 2 months

Text

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

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She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

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Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

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Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

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"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

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He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

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The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

---------------------------------------------------

Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

------------------------------------------------

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chenfordspiral · 1 year

Text

A Chenford Thesis on 5x10

Hi, hello. It’s me again! I’ve taken my time with this one because the creative juices just wouldn’t quite flow the way they often did with my little essay for 5x08. I’m surprised I actually managed to get this done before 5x18 ultimately kills us all. That might’ve actually given me the necessary push to finish this because I know I won’t be able to focus after Tuesday.

Kinda surprised I wrote this at all. Because I was not planning on writing anything but the thing for 5x08. But here we are. You've all given me enough reason to get over my fears and just do this.

So, let’s get started.

Previously on The Tim&Lucy Show – uhm, I mean, The Rookie: Tim asks Lucy out on a date after they’ve finally admitted their feelings for each other.

That can only mean one thing now: Date night is finally here!

I love everything about this opening scene. I never would’ve expected to get a rom com like montage of Lucy and Tim stressing over what outfit to wear for their first official date.

I get giddy every time I see this scene, seriously.

They’re such different people, but in this moment, they do the same thing. They’ve cleaned out almost their entire closets trying to find the right thing to wear. Tim’s wearing the same pants the whole time, but cannot for the life of him decide on the right button down.

Meanwhile, Lucy has pulled out all the dresses she’s worn that signify important moments in their journey. The green dress from Angela & Wesley’s first attempted wedding when Tim asked her to save him a dance before it all went to hell but also gave us one of the most significant Chenford moments that had them realize there might be something more between them (I love that hug).

The dress from the horrendous double date with Blondie and the WIP, where they spent the entire time talking to each other instead of their dates.

And then the dress she wore to Nyla’s wedding when they finally had that dance he still owed her and told her she’d be the arresting officer on future reports (she’s always been more important than his career).

But none of those dresses are right for this occasion. It’s time to pick something that’s new. Because this is a new beginning. She just can’t decide which outfit she likes best.

And then there’s our boy Timothy again. He’s finally frustrated enough to stop trying on different shirts and gets his phone. I don’t know what I expected, but not what happened next.

Because I never would have imagined that Tim Bradford would stress so much that he would need to call his best friend to calm himself down. And said best friend just happens to be the woman he’s going out with.

Yeah, I love him. I love them.

I also love the little pout Lucy makes right before her phone rings. It’s so adorable. She goes to grab her phone, slightly nervous when she realizes it’s Tim who’s calling her, because she’s not even close to being ready to leave. “Hi, I’m almost there” she says, as she stands in the middle of the chaos she’s created trying to find the right thing to wear.

But Tim catches on immediately. “No, no. No you’re not” because he knows her too well. Lucy grins a little guiltily at being caught, “No, I’m not, sorry. Uhm, are you?”

“No!” Because of course he isn’t. He wants to look perfect for their date. They both do. They’re both stressing so much. And I love it. “Look, does this restaurant have a dress code?”

I’m sorry, Tim. You’re asking her about the restaurant? Were you not the one who planned it? Or did you just google ‘most romantic restaurant in town’ and go with it?! Either way, he’s so indecisive that he needs to know if there’s certain expectations from the restaurant. Or maybe he’s just asking Lucy what she’d like to see him wear even though he’s the one who planned everything but is now so flustered that he needs her advice.

Am I thinking about this too much? Probably. Anyway.

“Uhh, no. I mean, you could wear cargo shorts, if you wanted.” Ha, as if, Lucy. He would never. But he’s intrigued now. Come on, we all know he knows she’s teasing him here. “Really?” he asks, taking the bait. Or pretending to, anyway. “Yeah, I mean. What does it matter as long as you’re comfortable?”

“Nice try. That was clearly a test. And you should know better than to test the master” he says while grinning like an idiot. And Lucy just laughs while he says it and fondly rolls her eyes at his, really their, ridiculousness.

“What are you wearing?” You did not just ask that, Timothy. I know he means it as innocently as possible, but in any other context this would sound very… suggestive, you know. And we already know Lucy’s answer to this before she can say a word: she doesn’t know. Just that she has a lot that she’s already discarded as ‘no’. And she tells him as much.

To which he responds “Well, we are running low on time. Traffic’s getting ugly.” How long have they been married again? Oh, right. Legally speaking, zero seconds. Emotionally speaking, basically since the day they met. “Yeah, I know. It’s – it’s silly. I just need to make a decision…” Yeah, Lucy, you do. But don’t feel bad. I’m not convinced Tim’s made a final decision yet, either.

“Ah, yes. The green dress. It is decided.” “Great. I’ll… I’ll see you soon.” “Okay. Bye.” I am losing my mind over how soft their voices are here. And look at those smiles. I. Am. Melting. All the nervousness seems to have faded away for a bit. They’re all soft smiles and excitement now. They can’t wait to start this new chapter of their story.

Lucy takes another look in the mirror after hanging up the phone, still smiling. She likes that dress; she likes the way Tim gave her a once-over and appreciated her in it. And she could hear it in his voice that he remembers how she looked, too. So, this seems fitting. Right?

“No. God.”

I’m cackling. Come on Lucy, you’ve already tried on everything you have in your closet. What are you gonna wear?!

Now, before I even get into this next part, let me just say this:

I apologize if their first date falls a bit short here. As much as I love this scene, I also kind of hate it because I still get very uncomfortable watching it. I can feel the awkwardness through my screen and it’s making me feel weird. I keep looking away, talking to myself to cover the dialogue or just skip parts of it entirely because I can’t get over the weirdness.

That being said, I will try my best to get through it at least once so I can do this justice, because it’s such an important part of Chenford’s story. But, again, apologies if it feels a bit off at times.

So, here goes nothing then.

We finally get to see what they’ve decided to wear. Tim‘s in the same button down as he was when he called Lucy. Now he’s got a nice suit jacket over it, looking pretty handsome. And Lucy, my girl. She chose a dress. Wow. That’s… revealing for a first date. But she looks absolutely gorgeous (yes, I have a girl crush).

But aside from looking great in their outfits, they look very uncomfortable as they sit side by side in weird silence that’s occasionally filled with the most awkward and unnatural small talk we’ve ever seen between them. Come on, are you actually talking about bread?!

I can’t help but cackle whenever I see Tim brushing away what I consider to be an imaginary breadcrumb to keep busy. Well, when he’s not checking her out in that gorgeous dress. Can’t blame him though, cause I am definitely looking, too. Respectfully, of course. Just like he is. He almost looks shy when he does it, actually. God, I love him.

I’m not going to cover all the small talk here because that would be too painful for me, but I will say this. I think most of us were expecting an awkward first date, I even wrote it down somewhere right after the winter finale aired that I wanted it to be awkward. Didn’t think it would make me feel that embarrassed and uncomfortable though.

Well done, TR.

But it makes perfect sense. It is going to be awkward and weird when you transition from best friends to lovers. Even more so after spending months barely talking to each other after basically breaking up. They will need a bit of time to find their way in this new relationship. Yes, they know everything about each other. But being together romantically is new; it’s different. It’s a complete 180 compared to the previous few months.

But once they do find their way, it will all be worth it. Because they’re going be so good together.

Lucy finally breaks the awkward silence and weird small talk. “Why is this so weird? We’ve literally eaten together hundreds of times.” “Because… our other meals only ever held the promise of being shot at afterwards. You know. And not, like, naked time.”

Timothy?!

I. Am. Cackling. Again. But I can’t help it. Lucy’s reaction is just so priceless, and his expression when he realizes what he just said is sending me. I’m definitely having a good laugh.

And yeah, his comment here is less than ideal and we can see that he regrets it as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Ok, he kind of regrets it. Look at that head tilt, shrug, and little smirk after Lucy’s ‘are you serious?!’ response. Yeah, he wants it. But it breaks the tension and the awkwardness. They can finally talk to one another.

They’re finding their way.

Also, can anyone blame him for going there? He knows how their “undercover” kisses went. She basically jumped him, repeatedly. It’s not too far-fetched to think that this might be happening after they’re done with dinner. But Lucy pretends not to know what he means. For now.

“Please. I mean, we’ve seen plenty of naked people after we ate.” “Yeah, that’s… that’s not what I m–” “No no no, I know. I know, I know. I – I feel like I might… I need – I might just need you to reset your expectations a little bit.”

Look how his attention is immediately laser-focused on her and what she has to say. He doesn’t wanna miss or misinterpret anything she has to say right now. He knows this is important.

“You’re not gonna see me naked for… a while.”

Clearly, she doesn’t know that he already saw her bare back and literally short-circuited in Vegas. Mh. Maybe it’s a good thing they won’t be going there for a while. Gives him more time to mentally prepare himself for it. Anyway.

I admire the way Lucy isn’t afraid of voicing her wishes here. She knows that she can be open with Tim in a way she hasn’t been able to with anyone else before. She already feels secure enough with him to let him know what she wants without fearing that he’s gonna leave. Because she knows he respects her and won’t judge her for what she wants. Or doesn’t want, just yet.

“I mean, I don’t wanna rush into that. I wanna take things slow.”

I love that she wants to approach this relationship differently than what we’ve seen of her with previous relationships before. Because everything with Tim is different. Because Tim is different. He’s, what I like to call, her first and only love.

We’ve never seen Lucy in love with anyone before. We’ve never seen her heartbroken over someone she dated. With Nolan, she was frustrated that he could end things with her so easily. With Emmett, she was mad that he didn’t break up with her face to face. And with the WIP, she was the one to do the dumping. And she never called any of them her boyfriend for a reason.

The only time we saw her heartbroken was when she thought Tim didn’t want her in 5x02. Maybe even in 4x21 when she thought he wanted to marry Blondie and she saw him fake-propose (still hate you for that, Timothy. But can I actually hate someone I love?).

So, we know this is different for Lucy. And she knows it, too.

Right now, she wants to take this slow. She wants to do this right. Have this date, then a second one, then their first real kiss without the pretense of UC work. “I just don’t think we should jump into bed together just because we know each other so well. I mean, do you –?”

Because this is “the most important relationship in [her] life” after all. She wants to enjoy just finally getting to be with Tim. She wants to make sure she cherishes every single one of those early moments of what will be the last relationship of her life. When you know it’s gonna last, why rush?

And I love that Tim is so easily on board. He doesn’t question her wishes, doesn’t pressure her into anything she’s not ready for (unlike a certain former WIP). He’s accepting her pace. “Agreed.” Because he understands. She might not want to go there just yet, but he knows it’s in the future. Because he knows he’s the most important person in her life. There’s no question that this is serious for her. She just wants to do this right.

And look at the way he’s looking at her while he listens. I’m melting over here. He’s so damn smitten, my heart can’t take this. Again, I love him. Imagine this said in the way Rachel says it in ep 7x04 of Friends. That’s usually what I mean when I write that.

“Yeah?”

You can hear the relief in Lucy’s voice and see it in her eyes. Happy that he’s understanding, that he’s okay with the way she wants to do this, and she didn’t miscalculate how he’d respond. Yes, there might’ve been a small part of her that was a bit scared that he wouldn’t understand. But at the end of the day, Tim’s always respected Lucy and what she has to say and wants. That’ll never change.

Their first little moment of normalcy is interrupted when Tim hears the door to the restaurant open and looks over and then around himself. What are you doing, Tim? Focus on the woman sitting next to you, please. Lucy of course sees how he’s suddenly started squirming in his seat and looks over her shoulder.

She has a little smirk on her face when she’s turning back around, already suspecting what he might be afraid of. “Are you worried someone from the station’s gonna walk in?” “What?” “You are!” “No, I…“ “Wow.” Yeah, she’s kinda enjoying his unease.

But he’s a bit, well not exactly annoyed, but definitely not happy, either. “What are the odds?” As Lucy gestures ‘who knows,’ they’re interrupted yet again by a loud crash from the kitchen. They both look over, trying to figure out what’s going on. I really appreciate that Tim’s not annoyed at what’s happening but defends the staff because they’re working in a stressful environment.

But because they’re cops, Lucy is on alert. Should they do something? Nope, says Tim. Let it blow over on its own. But it doesn’t. It takes a turn for the worse. Because of course it does, it’s Chenford’s first date and they cannot enjoy a moment of peace.

Now, why does Tim have his gun and badge with him, on a date? Well, he’s a creature of habit, he needs to be prepared for every possible scenario. Still didn’t expect that part though. But I gotta say, thank you. Cause they’re one badass couple (couple!!!), working in tandem to get the situation under control and helping the chef.

And yes, I clocked Lucy’s little touch to Tim’s arm (and it’s the second one in this entire scene already!) right before they stood up. Once more proving to me that physical touch is definitely one of her love languages.

After it’s all handled and the guy is in cuffs and the chef’s wound is taken care of, Tim and Lucy look at one another. “What are the chances of someone from the station walking in now?” Aaaand, cue the lights, the cops have arrived. Well, busted. And Tim is more than a little frustrated at how this night has turned out. He just wanted to enjoy finally being able to go out with Lucy.

He turns back around toward her and, holy. That barely-held-in laugh from Lucy as she looks at him? Dying. She’s enjoying this, because come on, it is kind of hilarious.

Before, she was joking that the odds were in their favor and there was no chance in hell anyone they knew could walk in. But now it’s actually about to happen. And their names are most likely gonna be on the police report. So people will know they were there together. Having a romantic dinner. Or trying to, anyway.

This should be interesting.

Also, I’m seven pages in, and I’ve only covered the first two scenes? No wonder this is taking me forever to write. It can really only get worse from here.

It’s the next day, and we see them standing together, secluded and removed from the hustle of the rest of the bullpen, deep in conversation. They immediately stop talking when Officer Jan (hi!) walks by. And I need to point out Lucy’s little pose as she tilts her head to the side in greeting. I cannot stop laughing whenever I see it. It’s so adorable and so freaking Lucy.

Once he’s passed them, Lucy starts talking again. “Okay, we can’t deny the facts. We were both at the restaurant, it’s in the police report.” “And all we know is that the witness reports mention the fact that we were sitting together.” “Yeah.”

Yup, there it is. Both names in the police report, countless witnesses that can attest to them sitting together… this is bad. Because they both know that what they’re doing is against the rules and they don’t seem to be in a rush to tell people. Or be ready for it.

See, this is one of the things that surprised me about them getting together this early. And the way they did. Usually, Tim is a stickler for rules. Him dating a subordinate officer in his direct chain of command? And one he once trained, no less? That’s definitely not following the rules. He doesn’t often go against his sense of duty. I assumed this to be a big obstacle and a reason for Tim not to go for it.

But here’s the big but.

He’s always been willing to follow his heart instead of his head when it’s about the things and people that matter more. When it’s about the people he loves. Especially because he’s not a big fan of change.

His world changed and shifted dramatically after he realized that he was in love with Lucy. When he pulled the plug on their professional partnership. When he was single again and had to see the woman he loves with someone else, thinking he had no chance whatsoever. Same for early season 1 Tim after Isabel left.

There was no stability for him other than the job.

And I don’t think he’s ready to face the fact that something will have to change eventually. And who can blame him? He’s looked for stability his whole life.

“This is not strange,” Lucy says after looking around the station again. “Co-workers eat together, it’s a thing.” They do. But not when it’s just two of them and they’re dressed the way you two were. That and the ambiance screamed ‘date’. “At the most romantic restaurant in town?” Most romantic restaurant in town? Wow, look at you, Timothy. Going all out for your woman. Mister “I’m not trying to be romantic” proving once more that he is, in fact, a big fat romantic at heart.

And Lucy gets it: “Right.” They really can’t deny why they were there together. After another look around the bullpen, Lucy tries a different tactic. “Well, I mean. We could come clean.” You could what? Lucy!

I did not see this coming. And Lucy being the one to say it? Yeah, she really is in love. We know she’s not opposed to keeping a relationship a secret. She never even considered coming clean about being with Nolan years ago. And they were peers, basically. Not subordinate and superior officer like her and Tim.

But I’ll repeat myself: Tim is different. Everything is different with him because for the first time, Lucy is actually in love and is therefore okay with telling her boss. Well, her boss’s boss, technically. She seems to be okay with all the potential professional change and backlash.

“Are you ready for that? Are you ready for Smitty’s commentary on us… dating or the ooh’s every time we walk into the roll call room together?”

Okay, so much to unpack here.

First: clearly, Tim was not expecting this from her either. Look at how he looks at her right after she says it. He’s seen how Lucy likes to keep the guys she dates at arm’s length. (But that’s because none of them were you, Timothy.) Second: it’s kind of hilarious that he would assume Smitty of all people to be the one most likely to make fun of them (he won’t, btw). Third: Lucy NOT freaking out about Tim saying they’re dating?

Nope, I’m not squealing with joy over here at all. They’ve had one ‘barely-qualifies-as-a-date’ date and Lucy is perfectly content with labeling their relationship. Then again, she already called him her most important relationship before they were together, so I guess it makes sense that she’d be okay with it.

But I’m still overjoyed that she’s so content with it all.

And lastly: I’m sorry Timothy. But once you disclose your relationship, chances are pretty slim to none that you’ll be walking into roll call together again. You’re her superior; dating each other while still working together can’t actually happen, at least not while you’re in the same chain of command. Something’s gonna change. Seems like he’s a bit in denial here, because, again, he’s probably not fully ready for that professional change that has to happen eventually.

And now Lucy also doesn’t seem too happy about that anymore, either. “Or we could lie.” But interesting that that wasn’t her first thought. And then it’s like a switch flipped after she said lie, because now she’s coming up with a cover story for a UC stint about drug dealers in the restaurant which just so happens to have required Tim’s help.

One little flaw here, at least for me. You two have barely talked to each other for months, but somehow, he’s the one you asked for help? Interesting. Would that really be believable? But Tim’s on board. Because at least it’s something plausible, kind of. “Not bad.” “Thank you.” Oh, they’re so cute in this moment.

And the moment gets interrupted by Nolan, thank you very much. All he says is “Morning,” and suddenly Tim and Lucy are rattling down their cover story. Hey, my loves. He just said ‘morning’. No need to explain yourselves when he literally hasn’t asked you anything. And Nolan is as confused as I am: “What?”

Because really Lucy? Even though Nolan didn’t ask, aren’t you supposed to be good at lying and being convincing when telling a cover story? If he were more perceptive in this moment, he would’ve caught on immediately and you two would’ve been busted.

Their attention is turned towards Celina and Aaron, who they can hear talking and laughing in the roll call room. They briefly discuss if anything’s going on between them before Sergeant Grey’s knocking on his office window to get their attention. Nolan excuses himself after Grey motions for Tim and Lucy to come join him.

And yes. They look guilty. And apprehensive. Maybe even a little scared. They share a brief look before making their way over. And Tim, ever the gentleman since Lucy became his rookie, is the one to open the door and let her walk in ahead of him (thank you Eric Winter, for insisting to be the one to open the door. Nice continuity!).

But oh boy, does Lucy look even guiltier now that she’s standing in front of Grey. Tim actually looks kind of okay, but he’s already bracing himself for bad news. Also, I absolutely love that their stances mirror each other here.

Now, we all saw the sneak peek before the episode aired, but it always surprises me again how Grey just goes in for the kill shot without warning. “I think you know how I feel about co-workers dating.” Yup, so they’re getting busted, right? And they think so, too. Look at how they immediately turn toward and look at each other.

I won’t recite all of Grey’s speech here, but there are a few things that are pretty important. “How power dynamics can skew things” – that is for sure a not-so-subtle hint that they need to think about their obvious imbalance of power. And that he suspects there’s something happening between them.

And watch their reactions to that. They’re clearly uncomfortable, Tim especially. Because he doesn’t want anyone to think he’s abusing his power to force Lucy into a relationship with him. We all know that’s not what’s happening, but people can be bitches. And they might also assume that she’s going to receive special treatment from him because she’s sleeping with him.

The entire time Grey is talking, Tim and Lucy can’t seem to stand still. They keep fidgeting with their hands, looking at each other for reassurance. Waiting for the shoe to drop.

“Feelings are bound to develop. But we can’t afford a hint of impropriety.” “We couldn’t agree more.” It’s we. They’ve been together a matter of days, but it’s already we instead of I. They’re in this together. No matter what. Tim isn’t letting her go because of some work issues. Have I mentioned that I love them?

“Look. I don’t wanna be the old guy interfering with people’s lives. Especially their love life. But –“ Oh, here it comes.

But then it doesn’t. Because for now, Grey is done with what he wanted to say; now, he’s switching gears. It’s no longer about Tim and Lucy, but Aaron and Celina. And it totally was about them before – he wouldn’t have had to talk about the power imbalance if it had been about Aaron and Celina from the start.

Because, come on. He totally knows there’s something going on that wasn’t there before. He’s had a front row seat to Chenford since the day they met. He’s seen how they’ve evolved from rookie and TO who barely knew each other to best friends. He’s seen the looks and the glances. He’s seen how they’ve always gravitated toward each other, yet how distant they’ve been since Lucy came back from UC school. He saw how uncomfortable they were when he told them to ride together again. And suddenly they’re totally at ease with each other and smiling?

Yeah, he’s not blind. But he’s willing to let them be (for now) and come to him whenever they’re ready. Because they deserve to be happy.

He’s seen them at their best and at their worst. But he’s never seen them at their happiest until now. So, he semi-subtly lets them know that they need to consider the work issue at some point, and rather sooner than later. For now though, he just wants them to talk to Aaron and Celina about the problems of dating a cop.

He’s totally picked the right people for this… “Oh, the irony,” as Tim so eloquently puts it after they’ve agreed to talk to them and left Grey’s office. Also, I have to mention how they turned around to look toward Aaron and Celina in complete sync. They’re so in tune with one another… I love it. And he opened the door for her again. I love you, Tim. Yes, I know I know. You’re Lucy’s, but a girl can dream.

They briefly talk about talking to Celina and Aaron and how awesome that’s going to be. “Can’t wait,” Tim says. Because that’s a disaster waiting to happen. He doesn’t talk about personal stuff in the shop unless it’s with Lucy. And Lucy can’t in good conscience talk to a fellow female officer about not dating a cop when she’s currently dating one herself.

But Lucy wouldn’t be Lucy if she didn’t find a way anyway. So when she spots Nolan across the bullpen again, she immediately says she’ll get him to do it and walks off. Leaving Tim a bit annoyed, because “That’s cheating!” But Lucy doesn’t care and simply giggles as she walks away.

Also: height difference! Lucy looks absolutely tiny next to Tim in this shot. Okay, she always does. But with the way she looks up at him, she looks shorter than usual. And I’m loving it.

Update: I’m now eleven pages in and only halfway through the Chenford parts of the ep. No, I don’t have a problem at all.

Moving along. Tim and Aaron are out patrolling. Tim looks over at him and gives in. He has to ask. Grey told him to. “You and Celina dating?” And Aaron is as surprised as anybody would be when Sergeant ‘no-personal-life-in-the-shop’ Bradford starts a conversation about personal stuff.

I love these two together. And this scene does not disappoint, either. Aaron says it wouldn’t be a problem for him and Celina do date, as cops date all the time. But it’d be different if they were in the same chain of command. He points out all the issues I mentioned above: people assuming she’s dating an SO out of duress, him making decisions based on the relationship. In short: “It’d be a nightmare, man. One of us would probably have to transfer to a whole different station.”

And Tim’s super uncomfortable. Because that’s not where he saw the conversation going. He didn’t want to hear about all the issues he and Lucy inevitably have to deal with for the second time that day. He’s literally squirming in his seat, a bit of panic written all over his face before he deflects. “Forget I asked.” Conversation over.

Because he still doesn’t really wanna think about the inevitable. He and Lucy can’t keep working together. No matter the fact that she’s no longer riding with him. He’s still her direct superior. Something will have to change. Again, that’s not something Tim’s a big fan of.

Later on, after hell has broken loose, Tim and Lucy stand between a shop and the SWAT van, looking around, taking in the scene of chaos because one of the bank robbers has taken a hostage. This is now the problem they need to solve. But they take a brief moment to talk anyway.

“Remember this morning? When dating in secret was our biggest problem?” Lucy asks while they’re surrounded by numerous cops. And body cams. Subtle, real subtle. “Feels like a million years ago.” “Yeah. Did you talk to Aaron?” “Ya.” “And?” “He neither confirmed nor denied.” “But?” “But, he pointed out that it wouldn’t be problematic because he’s not her superior and doesn’t fall in her chain of command.”

“Oh.” Yes, Lucy looks a bit sad here. But I don’t think it’s because she’s scared he’ll break things off. He’s already made his decision when he asked her to dinner. Twice. It’s more about the fact that once again, she’s reminded that they won’t be able to continue working together anymore. And just like Tim, she’s not ready for that inevitable change yet.

But as soon as Tim’s phone pings, alerting him that he has their hostages phone number, they’re both right back to business. Lucy doesn’t hesitate to back Tim up as they’re taking cover behind a shop door and he’s talking to the hostage and their bad guy.

Despite all the issues pointed out by Grey and Aaron before, Lucy and Tim still manage work together seamlessly. They don’t let their relationship become an issue here. Lucy doesn’t tell Tim not to go ahead with his plan even though it’s dangerous and she’s scared for him. She knows he has to do his job.

They’re both focused on the job.

Even when Tim and Aaron are dangling off a rooftop in their shop later that day, Tim is focused on his job. He’s not letting Aaron risk his life for him. But Aaron knows there’s something – someone – waiting for Tim to make it back safely. “You go out first. […] Sir, with all due respect, Lucy will kill me if I let you die, so I’m dead either way.”

Aaron, I love you. He knows there’s something between them. He’s been the one closest to both of them in recent months, at least while on the job. He’s seen their interactions. And whether or not he’s aware they’re together now – he definitely has his suspicions – he knows one thing for certain: Tim and Lucy are in love. And willing to do anything for the other person. But he makes Aaron leave the shop first, anyway.

I know we all want cute, worried moments between Tim and Lucy and maybe expected one in this episode after that incident. But it makes sense not to show it, at least here. Because it emphasizes that they know the risks of the job. Just like they did with the hostage situation. Does that make it easier? No, of course not. They still worry about each other. But they don’t need those interactions after every near-death moment.

(Would love to see some in the future, though. 5x18?)

Instead, it’s easy bantering here. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t die. You owe me a re-do on our date.” “It’s what gave me the will to live.” Gave me the will to live. O. M. G. Timothy! In a moment when he was staring death in the face, he only thought about needing to make it out to take her on another date. She makes him want to live, people. She’s his reason to live.

Okay, I really need to calm down before I keep writing. Wow.

“In my mind I’m hitting you right now.” “That’s good to know.” Oh, how I love their bickering. They’re still them.

Despite all the professional issues that were not-so-subtly pointed out to them today, they still don’t seem to care much, yet. They’re gonna enjoy themselves before they have to worry about any of that somewhere down the line. So, second first date under what appear to be Christmas lights it is. Yes, I’m going with Christmas lights here because in my world, this date happened in late November/early December-ish.

Because what is time in The Rookie universe? If they can’t keep a timeline, I’m making my own and running with it.

I swoon every time I watch this scene.

It’s the way they sit together, each having one foot on the other’s chair. There’s no tension, they’re completely at ease and relaxed. It’s so perfectly them to not have this do-over at some other fancy restaurant but at a food truck instead. Is that a traditional place to have a date? No. But when have they ever done anything the ‘traditional’ way?

Falling in love with your former rookie or TO is already pretty non-traditional. But it’s not like they could’ve stopped it from happening.

“Streets of Vietnam. That’s where we ended up. So I guess this is our first date.” “Mh, last night was, for sure.” Wasn’t she the one to say they needed a re-do for their first date in the scene before this one? Now it’s suddenly not the first, but the second? Interesting, Lucy. I see ya.

“I mean, it’s a better story for the grandkids.” Grandkids?! Lucy, you keep surprising me in the best way possible. They’ve been on one date that can barely count as such, and she’s already happy to talk about something that’s decades into the future.

Because she sees a future with him. She wants that future. She already feels secure enough to know that that’s where they’re headed. And she’s totally fine with that. Lucy ‘commitment phobe’ Chen is ready to spend the rest of her life with Tim. And that thought just completely ruined me. Again. (One of these days, my family might just have to write ‘death by Chenford’ on my tombstone.)

And Tim is as surprised as I am. “We’ve got grandkids now? Nice.” I love this for him. Because now he knows for certain that that’s something in the future. Yes, again, they’re years, decades away from that. But Lucy just confirmed that that’s what she sees for them. That that’s what she wants with him. They just started dating, and she already can’t wait to tell the story to their grandkids.

Tim will finally be able to have that future that he’s always dreamed of. He doesn’t have to settle for anything less than what he wants.

And Lucy’s laugh after he says ‘nice’. Oh, she is the cutest. And look at him. Man, they’re just so happy. No, neither one of them was expecting to have this kind of conversation during their second date. Sometimes you just say things without thinking them through. But then you get an unexpected yet wonderful answer in return, and it doesn’t matter anymore.

Now the only thing that matters is that they’re already on the same page.

He’s still smiling when he turns in his seat a bit and then sees nothing good. “Do not break into that car.” He’s so exasperated. He just wants to enjoy this little date with Lucy, can’t people leave them alone and commit their crimes somewhere else, far away from them?

But instead of getting up to arrest the guy, he simply gets out his badge (again, he doesn’t seem to go anywhere without it) and yells: “Hey moron!” before showing off said badge, and effectively scaring the guy away. And I’m cackling at Tim’s disbelieving headshake. Because it’s so Tim.

Lucy seems to be a little surprised that he would just let him get away without even trying. “You know he’s just gonna break into a car in a different neighborhood.” Because she knows that he’s usually cop first, everything else second.

But, once again, like at the end of 5x08, Tim and Lucy are the only thing that matters in this moment. “Well, then some other cop can arrest him,” he says when they’re finally turned toward each other again. Tim Bradford letting a would-be car thief go so he can enjoy being with the woman he loves?

Some things really do matter more.

Look at him looking at Lucy with such adoration. Have we ever seen Tim look at her like this before? I know we have a few good moments prior to this, but this is a whole other level. He doesn’t have to hide anything anymore. He can finally show her how much he adores her. Because now he knows it’s reciprocated.

And it’s so beautiful. Because Tim fell in love. But he would’ve kept his feelings to himself for as long as he thought he was in it alone. Hell, he probably would’ve taken them to his grave if she hadn’t blurted out how she felt in 5x08. No matter how much he wanted to explore this thing with her, he was keeping his distance, because he couldn’t take another rejection; and she seemed happy.

But now he gets to openly show his love. Or as openly as you can when you’re keeping a relationship a secret. But: he doesn’t have to hide it from her anymore. His cards are on the table, her cards are on the table. Hiding from each other and their feelings is in the past.

He leans toward her, cradling the side of her face with one hand to close the distance. But he’s also giving her enough space and time to stop him if she’s not ready. But she is. They’re both ready to do this. Look at the way they both smile into that kiss. Urgh, they’re so cute. So in love.

And, omg. Tim’s other hand on her thigh? He’s not really someone to show a lot of affection, much less in public. But here he is, touching her wherever he can because, well, now he can. He’s allowed. No, he didn’t ask but he’s keeping it respectful and without making Lucy feel uncomfortable.

She knows he’s not one to do this too much, so maybe she’s actually enjoying it quite a lot. She is, after all, a pretty physically affectionate person, which we’ll get so see even more in the episodes after this one. It’s definitely one of her love languages (damn, I already said this once, haven’t I?). So she probably loves that that’s reciprocated.

They finally close the distance and share their first kiss. Their first real kiss. The last first kiss they’ll ever have, because we all know this is for keeps. Nothing and no one will keep them apart, I am sure of it. They’ll face every and all challenges together from here on out.

And it’s so different from all the kisses they shared under the guise of undercover work. It’s not as heated, not as tension filled, not as obviously passionate. But it’s so sweet, so romantic, so tender. And for once, it’s actually real. And filled with all the love they feel for one another.

For me, this is the perfect first real kiss for Tim and Lucy. Nothing fancy, nothing over the top. Just the two of them enjoying themselves outside in front of a food truck in a super sweet and yet romantic setting. And no matter how many times I’ve seen this scene already, somehow it gets even sweeter with time.

We’ve only gotten a tiny glimpse into the Chenford dating-era, but we can see throughout the entire episode that they’re still their bickering, teasing selves. And I love that for them. And here’s a semi-lengthy explanation as to why.

Every once in a while, my mind just wanders to little Tim never getting the kind of love from his father that he deserved. How is a child supposed to know they’re worthy of love if they have to endure so much pain and abuse?

He thought he’d found it in Isabel. But she broke his heart, too. She left him in pieces, arguably even more broken than ever before.

Every relationship has given him reason to think he’s unlovable. That he’s not worthy. I admire this guy for risking his heart again with Lucy. Because it’s been used and abused so many times before.

There’s always so much wonder in his eyes when he looks at her because a part of him still doesn’t fully believe that this kindhearted, empathetic ball of sunshine actually likes him as much as he likes her.

And there’s the relief that he’s finally found the right person. The one who will love him unconditionally. The one who already does. The one who gets him like no one else has before. The one who doesn’t give up on him. The one who takes care of him even when he doesn’t want and has never asked her to.

And Lucy. She hasn’t had an easy childhood either. Yes, it was completely different from Tim’s, but she has her own scars from the emotional trauma inflicted by her parents who’ve always made her feel like she wasn’t good enough.

She said it herself once. Nothing she’s ever done was enough. Not her grades, her friends, her boyfriends, her professional choices, or any choice at all, it seems.

And with her romantic partners it’s also been pretty devastating. No, she was never as invested as she could’ve been, because she’s never actually been in love. But there’s still some form of trauma from that, too.

So letting herself love and be loved is as difficult for her as it is for Tim. And yet, it happened. Because Tim has never made her feel like she’s not enough. Yes, he constantly challenged her and made her doubt herself as a rookie, but that was necessary in order for her to become a good cop. It was to help her be better, not belittle her like her parents did.

She’s basically been taught to second guess every decision she’s ever made since she was a child. But Tim’s let her learn to believe in herself and her abilities. “You don’t let anyone ever tell you you can’t do something,” he said to her on her last day of training.

Because he knows she’s capable. It took some time, but he’s learned to trust her abilities and her choices. He’s simply learned to trust her. With everything. And more than he’s ever trusted anyone else before.

Sure, they’ve had their ups and downs, and he’s been an ass toward her in the beginning when he was lost, but ultimately, she knows she can trust him with everything, too.

Because, just like she is for him, he’s the one who gets her like no one has before. Who takes care of her no questions asked. Who believes in her. Who doesn’t give up on her. Who loves her in a way she’s never been loved before.

They both have enough reasons to not let themselves trust anyone with their heart. And yet, here they are, together. Completely at ease and truly happy for the first time in forever, maybe their whole lives.

Because they’ve earned each other’s trust; tiny brick by tiny brick by tiny brick, they’ve let themselves trust each other and fall in love.

Finally, they’re with the one person who they can be themselves with. Who won’t judge. Who will support them and stay by their side no matter what. Who they can trust wholeheartedly. Who accepts and loves them the way they are. They’re finally with their person. They don’t have to change to be and make each other inexplicably happy.

If soulmates do exist, Tim and Lucy definitely found theirs in each other. And I admire them for doing this together.

My everlasting gratitude to everyone who took some time out of their day to read, comment, reblog and/or like my Chenford thesis on 5x08. You’ve made it so much easier for me to use my recently found inspiration and keep writing. I hope this lives up to expectations and you enjoy this as much as the one for 5x08. And as always, a special thank you to @escapismqueen for her patience as I complained about my writer’s block (wow, I can actually say that now), asked questions about grammar because English is confusing, and for encouraging me to keep writing in the first place. Hope this is a nice little surprise for you tonight.

#chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #now back to (im)patiently waiting for 5x18 to air #time has not gone by fast enough #but at least i had enough time to write this and post before the ep #two more days!!!#it's gonna be wild but epic #they're gonna kill us all #because it's about chenford and java and duicy #love how they've given away nothing yet #they just confuse us more each day #back to real life now for like a day or two #a chenford thesis

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wroteitbutneverwatchedit · 2 years

Text

Could we work?

»»————- 🪢 ————-««

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x F!reader

Summary: When billy rolls into town and all the girls are falling at his feet…… why won’t she?

Warning: Cussing, Sexual innuendo, sexual comments, harassment, billy being well billy.

A/n: I will be posting a part two to this, I really like this fic and please let me know if you guys like it. Please like, share, reblog, and/or comment. Also I want to try taking request so please feel free to message me a request idea, I will let you know about the stuff I don’t write. But please enjoy. ALSO THIS IS NOT NO FREE USE YOU CANNOT PLAGIARIZE OR REPOST MY WORK ON THIRD PARTY SITES

Pt.2

»»————-　⚜　————-««

All the boys in this town were shit excluding a few, and that was me being nice. They all got on my nerves repeatedly coming to try and get with me, I really should just start telling them off. But I find the severe silent treatment more amusing, though sometimes I want to just yell at them. Walking the Hawkins High Halls was something every student has done but I was always getting the stairs. My sister was the one always speaking up for me, she was very popular and bright. I was always letting her handle these boys, maybe the ceaseless comments on how fat my ass is would stop. But they always kept coming with new ones, sure I had these powers but I was never and never will be a killer. These boys were always pushing me to new limits, just because I wouldn’t let them climb on top of me. I took a deep breath before I stepped out of my care. My sister Amara followed me, she went almost everywhere with me. As we walked into the school building I wasn’t stopped like I usually was, I made it to my locker with no one person bothering me. But my happiness was short-lived, once I got to my locker I was met with a new face. He was significantly better looking than any of the boys I met in this town, he had this sort of smug look on his face. I was absent for two days and there was already a new person along with a new drama, I opened my locker and took out my book for the first period. I completely ignored his presence, the attitude radiating off him was very cocky and I didn’t like it.

“Y/N you’re looking very nice in that dress, but I think it would look better on my bedroom floor.” Tommy H. Said, I didn’t even bat an eye in his direction, simply closing my locker and walking away with Amara. I heard footsteps walking behind us but this was the school hallway, it was free to use, who was I to stop people from walking? I entered my class and took my seat, I was never one to be late for class or cause a fuss, but I couldn’t control the commotion that followed me to my seat. I turned my head to see the new face, he sat in the seat next to me, which wasn’t weird because it was empty it made sense for a new student to take that seat.

“Hello pretty lady, the name is billy. “ The boy said, I nodded and then started preparing for class. I didn’t respond to him and that seemed to kind of bother him.

“It seems like you didn’t hear me but the names billy what’s your name?” He asked this time, I looked at him for a second before writing something down and passed him the note.

‘I heard you the first time, I just ignored you. Please leave me alone, I don’t talk to arrogant, cocky, and self-destructive boys. So just stay out of my way and keep everything at face value. You may have a pretty face but it doesn’t mean anything if your personality is shit.’ His emotions were displayed on his face and anger seemed to shine through the most, he crumpled the note and shoved it in his pocket. The whole class period went by without his talking to me again, as I walked out of the class I was met with Harrington. He was a good friend of mine, but he seemed to act like an overprotective boyfriend at times.

“Hello milady, shall I walk you to your next class.” he said, I smiled and walked with him to our next class.

•

Lunch had rolled around and I sat at my usual table with my sister by ourselves, she insisted that she sit with me today so I didn’t feel alone but I didn’t mind her sitting with her friends. Lunch was going smoothly until billy sat down across from me, he didn’t say anything just took a piece of my celery and looked at me, my sister was going to say something but I just shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m not arrogant” he said, I didn’t say anything just set aside some celery on a napkin and passed it to him along with some chips.

“She said because you seemed so hungry that you can't ask.” Amara said, billy looked at her a shot her a sarcastic smile.

“Thanks” he said.

#billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove x black reader #stranger things #dacre montgomery x reader

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honeycowinnit · 10 months

Note

Hello I've been thinking Abt this:

Nature/Wisdom god tommy is imprisoned by his people for his powers. Since tommy is a child, he doesn't know any better.

Key in Wilbur, a traveler: who got visited by Tommy in his dreams, asking him to help him.

Idk u can change some stuff!!! I just thought Abt this on spot

"How am I to be of service to you?" Wilbur asks, overwhelmed, and the child tilts his head to the side. His bright blue eyes glow like the sun on the waves up north. "I am but a humble traveler."

"Do not tell me you genuinely believe that," the child says. He reaches forward and touches Wilbur's chest. He touches the pendant there, that is always there. "You are flame and light. You are my keeper. You will find me and you will save me, because I believe you can."

And then the dream vanishes, and Wilbur startles awake, breathing heavy, chest warm and tingling from where the child's fingers touched.

...

Wilbur finds the child from the dream two towns over in a rock statue covered in ivy.

He would not have even looked if he didn't need to stop to rest and eat, and he's glad he did, because this being in the middle of the town square must mean something. He leans forward to try and read the faded plaque.

Our wonderful lord, to whom we give all our gratitudes and well wishes.

Wait. Does that mean that the kid from his dream is a -

"Interested in our God, are you?" A voice says. Wilbur turns, and sees a short man blond hair and a forest green cloak.

"Uh, yeah," Wilbur says. "Just ... learning about the customs here. I am new to the area, so -"

"Yeah, I could tell." He squints. "I know everyone that comes through this town. You, my friend, do not belong here."

Wilbur stills. "There is no law telling me I cannot be here."

"Not yet." The man grins fiendishly. "But only because I have yet to write it." Then, he strikes.

...

Wilbur wakes up in a cold, damn cell with an aching head. His pack is gone, and all of his money. They took his guitar. He groans, then pushes himself to his feet. There are bars in front of him, and cold stone under him. He believes no one is here, but then he hears clinking metal in the darkness.

"Hello?" He calls, reaching out and curling his hands around the bars. "Is someone there?"

Quiet.

Wilbur curses himself. He's simply seeing things. And hearing them. There isn't anyone here. They're going to let him rot down here.

"Wilbur?" A voice calls.

Wilbur startles, then squints. Two blue eyes glow in the darkness. They shift closer, coming into the lantern light. It's the boy from his dream. Dirtier, paler, more roughed up looking. There are chains around his wrists, and he's wearing rags. When he reaches out to curl a hand around the metal bars of his cell, it's trembling.

"It's you," Wilbur breathes. "You're real." Then he remembers what the plaque on the statue said and drops to his knees. "My lord."

"Stop," he rasps. "Wil, don't you - do you not remember? It's me. It's Tommy."

Wilbur looks up hesitantly. The kid - Tommy- is pleading with him, reaching out through the bars. He's straining to touch, even though it's impossible. And that's when Wilbur sees it. The ring on his finger. Matching the pendant that Wilbur wears on his neck every single day. The one he was born with.

"They - they match." He says. And it wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but Tommy understands.

"They do. They do, because our father gave them to us." Tommy says desperately, but that would not make sense. Because Wilbur never knew his father. But more so because if him and Tommy shared a father, then that means - "Please," Tommy continues, sobbing now. "I haven't seen you in decades. Please do not make me go any longer without you, brother."

#thank u for the ask!!#I MADE THEM BOTH GODS.#but wil's memory has been wiped. HEHE #I LOVED THIS IDEA.#THANK U SO MUCH 🐶 ! I SEE U #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #my writing

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mercurygray · 9 months

Note

Hi, could you show me to the support group for Edith Eadig addicted readers?

I've been scouring every platform for Godwin fics until I found yours on here. Masterpieces, every single snippet, and I adore their story (as you might have noticed from my spam liking and reblogging).

I noticed that in the Godwin-centric fic, he and Edith really met in secret and engaged in a real sexual relationship, but that was never (I think) in the other ficlets. I'd be super interested to read their first real sexual encounter and how their relationship transitioned from fake courtship to "booty calls" (if I got that right).

I'd also love to read more about you headcanons for both of them -- pre-show and S1&S2.

I'm not sure whether you're even currently writing for them (ignore this if you don't), but if you do, could you write for Edith during Season 2? Perhaps the moment she realises Godwin is only using Aelfwynne for his own advancement? I'm not sure whether you'll have him marry Gytha or whether Edith can spoil his plans. If she can, perhaps you could write their meeting afterwards when Godwin has realised that he was crossed and cannot help but admire Edith's skill while at the same time also being in a terrible mood for not having achieved his goal?

I'm sorry, these are three and a half requests in a trenchcoat; let me know if you want me to send them individually!

HI HELLO WELCOME. You can join @muse-oleum (and maybe @therealvikingstrash?) on this adventure. This is a very small support group.

I'll start at the end - the reason I stopped writing isn't anything bad, just that my Netflix subscription expired shortly after the show aired and (while I did see all of S2) the slightly more plotty nature of that season meant it was really hard to go back and try to write fic without having the show to reference. :(

BUT that doesn't mean I can't try to answer your questions!

So this is interesting - because in my head, and I think in what exists on paper, they've never gotten to that level of physical intimacy. They've both thought about it, but never committed to it. (I know exactly which piece gave you that idea, though.)

I had thought that after the need to deceive Aelfgifu has passed, it would be natural for them to look at the lie they just spent a few weeks selling and realize they both weren't lying and then have sex. Knowing that Godwin does eventually marry Gytha, even before S2 aired, I also had thought that Edith might be his mistress for a little while.

Season 2 presents a problem in that regard, though. For starters - Aelfwynn was new. She kind of fills in the space Edith occupied in my fanon timeline. Godwin's love life was going to be a little crowded with the both of them there. If Godwin has this plan to make himself indispensable to Canute and undermine Emma by creating suspicion around Aelfwynn, a plan that it seems like he has been sitting on for a long time, if I'm interpreting the show correctly, it seems to me that he wouldn't stop to have or start that relationship with Edith. Too many loose ends.

It felt cleaner for them to have never gotten physical, for him to say 'okay, that's one thing finished, on to the next' and leave Edith sad, frustrated, and now highly suspicious. (Emma, of course, was out of town for all of this and has no idea it happened, so she skips immediately to 'oh so Aelfwynn is a thing now' and Edith never tells her about it. If Edith had said something, it seems to me that would be one more reason for Emma to be suspicious of Godwin quicker than she is.)

I did write one or two small things for season 2, which I think you've already ready - but I think I'd have to watch the show again to figure out where Edith is during Godwin and Gytha's wedding.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY - thank you for the compliment of saying you need a support group. That means so much to me.

#asked and answered #misskatiewrites #edith eadig

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ihatelettuce · 2 years

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we can all agree that modern au zeke is a baseball player right? right yes okay:

BC I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM TAKING YOU TO THE BATTING CAGE

(does it count as a date? idk)

him making you wear his jersey while he bats- yes he’s a pitcher but hello he’s the boy wonder/star player/man of my dreams so he can do it all🤭

makes you try and bat aswell, presses up behind you and runs his hands up your figure to ‘correct your stance’, then puts his hands over yours to hold the bat showing you how to swing.

he thinks its so hot seeing his girl in his jersey watching her do what he loves……. so he fucks you in the back of the car to show you how much he loves you<333

Nia this ask was so cute omg, I love how we all just KNOW he’d either be a pro baseball athlete or that it would be an avid part of his life 😭

~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~•~~~

Modern AU Zeke’s dream was to go professional, and once he did, he took you with him -

We all know that what’s probably the hardest part about fame is the mistrust that comes with it. People love you, but not actually you. They love the idea of you that’s been curated in their brain from what they’ve seen and heard of you. They love your talent, what you can produce.

Zeke knew this very well going into it. He knew that his probability of finding real, true love were dimming more and more with every turn in his promising career.

It’s not that this really bothered him though.

He was never one for romantics, raised in a stale home that felt like nothing but a fabrication of what a “family” should be. So he pursued his dreams with a fever, training endlessly and being as punctual as possible.

In his time spent traveling to and from practices, school, and his little part time job at the town’s local diner, he never anticipated the presence of anyone which he could call his own. He never anticipated much at all besides his future and the fruits of his labor.

He never anticipated you.

In any case, you were there for him. First showing up at his diner on a late night shift and insisting you attach your life to his own. You showed up to his practices, taking him out whenever he insisted he didn’t need a break (despite clearly working exceptionally hard), giving him genuine companionship for the first time in his solemn life.

It got to the point where although no conversation was made between the two of you, everyone considered you a couple. And soon, you figured it was time the two of you became official.

Zeke couldn’t have been any happier with the decision,

He was overjoyed, really.

Because now that he has his dream job, he can afford to give his dream girl the life that he knows she deserves.

You deserve getting your pretty summer shorts shoved down to your ankles when he’s just a second away from ramming his cock into you in the now-empty lockerooms of Paradis Stadium.

You deserve the penthouse view that he’s given you in your shared home with the money that he’s accumulated. He knows how much you love to fuck with the windows open, the night sky and bright city lights illuminating the artistic frame of your lustful bodies grinding against one another.

You deserve the privilege you have to parade around his games all dolled up in his jersey. Women of all kinds envying you, knowing how lucky you are to sleep next to Zeke fucking Jaeger every single night. None of them could ever amount to what you are to him, not in his eyes, and not in yours.

You deserve the twenty-four carat engagement ring that he stunned you with on your 4 year anniversary, you could’ve sworn your body was going to dehydrate with how much you cried.

You deserve the wedding of your dreams with the man of your dreams, that he lets you plan and gives to you without a seconds hesitation.

Zeke may be the biggest baseball star of his time. He may be the wonder boy, a hall-of-famer in the making. But you? You’re everything to him.

Anyways, I know absolutely nothing about sports because it isn’t my interest <3 I do however absolutely love Zeke and would learn about it in a heartbeat for him so that I could see him get all enthusiastic and cute <3333

#attack on titan #aot #attack on titan zeke #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager #zeke x reader #snk #aot zeke #asks<33333 #my dear Nia ❤️❤️❤️❤️#my favorite mutual I can’t even begin

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ego-osbourne · 1 year

Text

Alright nerds I got motivationally bullied by @mamma-dragon to actually post things I’ve written, even if they’re just oneshots or will never be finished. So, for the next couple of days (???) I’ll be posting some small oneshots and WIPs (but mostly WIPs). So, here goes :)

The Burning of King Olaf

Status: Complete Oneshot

TW: alcohol mention

Summary: Sam tries his best to get Moro (Ego) to dance with him at the Burning of King Olaf party.

———

The Burning of King Olaf was grand, with what seemed to be most of Solitude joining for the event, with some travelers from outside of town even joining. Among them was the Masquerade, of course, with Ego dressed down, hands covered, and mask off, taking on their Moro persona. A band of a dozen bards—each armed with either song or voice—encouraged the excitement of the event. Among the band was Serana with a harp, Miraak with his voice, and Erandur with a lute. Moro didn’t join them, having never enrolled into the Bards College due to a self-proclaimed lack of musical talent. They were there for support, though, proud to see their family so happy with themselves.

In the crowd somewhere was Sam Guevenne. He had told Moro that he’d be there, all they’d need to do was find him. Find him they did, standing beside a table of drinks and sweets. Sam noticed them and gave a friendly wave. The Dragonborn made their way over.

“Hello, stranger,” Moro greeted.

“Ah, is that all I am to you, now?” Sam teased.

“Might as well be, without the horns. I forget how little I see you like this.” Moro picked a pastry from the table and helped themself.

“Just about as much as I see you without the mask. So, I guess we’re even.” He picked another filled cup of alcohol from the table, offering it to Moro, who refused. “Maybe later.” The Dragonborn then smirked, checking the dim—but certainly not dark—horizon before poking fun at their friend. “It’s barely dark and you’re already drinking?”

“What else is there to do?” Sam threw out a hand and laughed.

“Sing? Dance?”

“Tch,” he set his cup down, “I don’t know anyone here. Wouldn’t be fun without a partner or two.”

“Being strangers hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Eh, well,” he shrugged, “It’s always better with a friend. I was waiting on you.” Sam paused, tapping his chin. “Tell you what, tell you what… I’ll put the drinks down if, if…” he motioned to the crowd of people that moved in rhythm with the music, “You come dance with me.”

“Ha!” Moro looked from the crowd, then to a table of hard liquor not too far from them. “I’ll buy you some brandy, then.”

“C’mon!” Sam took their arm, chuckling as he turned the Dragonborn back to the crowd. “Just one dance. If anything, we can just see the look on your dad’s face.”

“It’d be funny,” Moro agreed, grabbing his own arm in response, “But I can’t dance.”

“Sure you can.”

“I just cannot,” Moro snickered.

“Then, I can teach you.” Sam nudged them closer to the crowd, and Ego resisted.

“I don’t know if it’s that simple.”

In a quieter tone, Sam retorted, “You’re doubting that the Lord of Hard-Partying can teach you how to dance?”

Moro rolled their eyes playfully. “No, I’m saying that I am simply unteachable.”

“You are simply a liar,” Sam teased, poking their side, which made Moro jump and push him away with friendly curses. The Prince hummed a chuckle, letting up on his other half. “Just try it, alright? And if you think you look like an idiot, I’ll do something stupid to take the attention off of you.”

The Dragonborn knew what that meant. “Please don’t throw your pants off.”

“I might.”

“Sam.”

“It’s funny!”

“Sam, just—” Moro couldn’t help but chortle at his stubborn ridiculousness. “Fine. One dance. But only so you don’t get arrested for getting naked.”

The Prince met the Dragonborn’s smirk with his own, taking their hand and promising, “This’ll be fun.” Ultimately, Ego trusted him as they were pulled into the crowd.

#ozzy writes #sam x ego #sam guevenne #ego #moro #oneshot #erandur #serana #miraak #tdi #the dez illusion #tes #tesblr #tesv #Skyrim #alcohol #tw alcohol

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har-rison-s · 2 years

Text

very metal

fem!reader x eddie munson one shot

a/n: okay hello here goes one of my eddie munson ideas.... my god am I whipped for this man. jhsfdbajsdfagjshds. anywhos. let’s go. I hope I write him good. I also hope this won’t turn into a series because I have that tendency to turn one-shots into series and then never finish them. god help with that. also I made up some little very brief background on eddie’s parents – just my version, my imagination, don’t hate or say it’s wrong. just my take. happy reading!

summary: fem!reader is eddie’s friend, and goes looking for him. not only does she find him, but she comes to learn of things about her hometown and the world she never could have predicted.

masterlist

stranger things masterlist

word count: 3.2k

tags: mentions of chrissy's death, fluff

gif credit goes to owner!

eddie has always been hard to catch or keep track of, even before all this hell shit that’s happened to hawkins in the last two and a half years. he’s always following his impulses, constantly going somewhere, changing plans, doing something completely opposite of what he’d promised to do, and everything that follows.

so being friends with him hasn’t been the easiest thing, either. he’s a great guy, a good friend, and overall a charming person, but damn would you like for him to be punctual sometimes. he doesn’t think beyond himself sometimes, and doesn’t care for ruining others’ plans when it comes to certain things. his campaign is a different story, of course. you’d love for him to just keep to his schedules and be reachable sometimes.

and you’re surprised that it surprises and even disappoints you that he’s nowhere to be seen now. with the terrifying murder of the sweet girl chrissy last night, a possible killer on the loose, eddie not being in anyone’s reach terrifies you. what if he’s the next victim? what if he’s been kidnapped or something? this stuff only happens, but with what’s happened in your hometown the last few years, anything could be going on.

the possibilities are endless, you cannot think or want to think of all of them, much less any of them involving eddie. he’s been your friend since before high school, even before secondary school, and you hate for him to be in any sort of trouble. much less in pain... that’s where you try and stop your brain from running further and just digging yourself a grave by assuming the possible worst of anything and everything.

your last resort, the last place—you actually don’t know why you didn’t think of it first—you think to look for eddie, is his supplier’s, rick’s house. out by the lake, quite the middle of nowhere even for your small town of hawkins. you’re scared shitless to go there, of course, because what if the killer is lurking around somewhere here, especially preying on young girls walking around alone at night? and what if the killer has already got eddie, if he’s at rick’s house, and now you’re just walking into certain death?

but you hurriedly walk alongside the dark, empty road, your arms crossed over your chest, a flashlight squeezed in one palm, illuminating the way. you’re not a fan of the dark, especially with the recent murder, and you don’t particularly like flashlights, either. they illuminate only some of the way, and anything could be in that instant darkness beyond the white ellipse of light. anything! you’re even scared to lift the flashlight higher to see, because what if someone or something is there?

at least you know the way to rick’s house well. eddie usually drives after school over there for new stashes of drugs and rounds of drugs in pill form. and he usually takes you with him, because day to day he drives you home or drives you both to his band practice or the occasional bar gigs. and eddie knows he can trust you, you won’t talk to anyone, it’s been clear since the very beginning.

it’s not exactly your ideal plan of kicking off spring break - running around your hometown in the dark in desperate search for your best friend. but you’re worried about him. you were supposed to have him drive you both to a flea market in another town near-by, right in the morning hours because it’s a half-hour’s drive and all the good records and clothes get sold out quickly there. so when he didn’t come to your door, knocking that special theatrical knock of his, not at ten, when you were supposed to leave, not at half past, not at eleven... you got really worried.

first you ran over to the trailer park, where he lives with his uncle, wayne. and his uncle was there, wide awake, alright. and so were the police. and so was the body of chrissy cunningham, which, thankfully, no one let you see. especially wayne. throughout the years he’s said you’re like a daughter to him, and he’s always treated you as such. he sat you down and explained what’s happened, and that eddie was nowhere to be found. that raised your worry to quite the height.chrissy murdered in the munsons’ trailer? that raises a lot of questions.

“he’s probably hidin’ somewhere, scared out of his damn mind,” wayne said as he drew smoke from his cigarette, shaking his head, “neighbours are already talkin’, makin’ up a story...” he sighs, “they’re sayin’ eddie did this, but... there ain’t no way. you and i both know that.” he’d looked at you, and you’d nodded your head without hesitance.

“he wouldn’t,” you said to him with a certain shake of your head, “they’re crazy for saying that, and believing it.” you shot a look over the trailer park, seeing all the people staring and peeping like the creeps they are. you sighed. “i’ve gotta find him.” you said and lift your eyes up to wayne’s. “wanna come with?”

“wish i could, kiddo, wish i could...” wayne shook his head, “i’ve gotta answer all kinda questions from the boys in blue, and it wouldn’t look very good, either, would it? they’d think i was hidin’ him or something.” wayne looked at you. “but you be careful. don’t wanna see you wind up like this poor girl,” he said and you nodded, “if you ain’t found him ‘til dark, don’t keep lookin’ until tomorrow mornin’.”

and though you promised him you’d do exactly that, you’re now breaking that promise. you’ve just gotta find him, and this is really the last place he could be. you’re so near rick’s house, anyway, it would be stupid to turn back and go home now. every little noise you hear makes your head shoot in its direction, your eyes go wide and you make a gasp, but every time it’s some bird or animal. and you curse yourself each time for getting scared of such a little thing. but since your nerves are about electrified right now, you also can’t blame yourself.

finally you reach rick’s property, and nearly breathe a sigh of relief. there’s no sign of eddie so far, and even if he’s not here, you have shelter for the night, as disgusting and stereotypical for a drug dealer’s house it is, because there’s no way you’re going home now. you’re exhausted, anxious and even hungry, too. it must be... you glance at your electronic wristwatch. eighteen minutes past midnight. you sigh. as far as your parents know, you’re at eddie’s place. you’ll worry about your alibi later, anyway.

your first destination in the property is the house, of course, so you sneak in through the already open door? interesting. if that’s a hint towards eddie being here, then great. if it’s someone else... you’re in not that much luck. you tread around the house slowly, as quietly as you can, scared that any noise from you will lure in the other person here more, and maybe even attract the killer – but that’s just paranoia.

funny or not, to calm your mind, you start humming paranoid by ozzy quietly to yourself while looking for signs of life or eddie around rick’s house. it keeps you focused on something, and a little distracted from the stressful reality you’re facing right now. but even in the upper floors of the house, there’s no sign of anyone here. you huff. where is he?

you plop down onto the couch at the front of the house, the shadows and the dark making your legs shiver. you draw your knees up to your chest and look anxiously around. but then your mind lingers on the stretched shadows displayed on the other side of the room from you. you see your own shadow, your silhouette, and that makes you realise there’s a light behind the window, somewhere outside, making those shadows.

hoping against hope that it’s no one predatory holding a flashlight from the outside, you turn around in your seat, and are met with the boathouse down by the lake. the boathouse’s porch light is on, and that’s what’s creating the shadows you see. you sigh deeply in relief and hop off the couch. maybe eddie is here, after all.

excited, you run down the small hill to the boathouse, nearly trip along the way, and stop at the door. eddie better be here.and the door better be open. you press your empty hand down on the handle and jiggle it. it jiggles around pretty freely, and so you swing the door open. you’re met with nothing but the dark and silence, except for the gentle splashing of the lake water against the house’s base. you huff.

“eddie?” you call out in a whisper, hoping he’ll come lurking out of the shadows, alive and well. you close the door after you and make a few steps into the boathouse. it’s not much, just swimming and boat necessities, and one boat with its waterproof cover on top, slightly swinging with the soft waves of the water. quite literally sounds like there’s no signs of life here. “eddie?” you call again, but your voice betrays the disappointment and stress you feel. you reach the window that gives a view of the lake at night, and you see nothing but the dark water and sky. you huff again.

but a floorboard creaks somewhere behind you, and only as your turn, you notice an empty cereal box by your feet on the floor. your body is almost frozen in fear, and so you turn slowly and cautiously towards whoever might be there. and all you’re met with is eddie’s hairy silhouette, only there’s also an oar in his hand (??). but as you both stop and take each other in, eddie comes into the moonlight, where you can see him better, and he drops the oar as relief and surprise takes over his features.

“y/n?” gets past his lips in an emotional whine, and you can barely confirm it’s really you before eddie closes the distance between you both and pulls you into the tightest hug ever. though by the way his hands feel on and around you, you realise it’s he who needs to be hugged more. so you wrap your arms around him, squeezing him tight as well, and close your eyes as you breathe a sigh of relief. “it’s really you.”

you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this before. he’s never been scared of teachers and any kind of other authority, he’s never shown to be scared of anything, really. sure, there were the times with his father before the fatal car crash, where you’d seen fear in eddie’s eyes like you never had before, and it opened a different perspective on your long-time best friend. that kind of fear, a version of it, you only see for the second time now, so something must have happened. “i’m so glad i found you,” you tell him, rubbing a comforting hand across his back, “i’m so glad you’re not hurt. i was so worried... looked everywhere for you.”

you don’t want to be delusional, but it sounds like eddie could be sobbing into your shirt. you can tell he needed to hear those words. before you can question his state, he pulls back, though still holds onto your shoulders as he looks at you. his big brown eyes bigger than usual, darting around, searching yours, shining with tears. you reach up your hand to his face and flick away a spot of dirt on his cheek, and the movement makes eddie’s eyelids flutter. “physically i’m not hurt, but otherwise, well...” eddie makes one of those sarcastic smiles, which already is a give-away that something’s wrong, “what are you even doing here? didn’t you have plans tonight?”

a laugh at his worry for you escapes you unfiltered, and you shake your head. “thanks for worrying, but that doesn’t really matter right now. you weren’t there to pick me up in the morning, so i went looking for you at your place, but you weren’t there. what was there, in return...” you shake your head, remembering glimpses of the cops’ dialogue about the body, “a crime scene.”

surprisingly, eddie nods. “yeah, i know,” he says. you’re still aware of his hands on you, and though you’re not a person who is friendly with the language of touch, you ignore that for now. for eddie. you can tell he really needs this, he’s always been a touchy person. which raises the question of how you two could ever even be friends, but... it’s pretty easy to respect each other’s boundaries. he needs this. “i, uh... you know, my mind’s kinda all over the place right now, so i hope i’ll make some sense of what i’m about to tell you.” he admits and lets go of your shoulders, “let’s... sit down,” eddie says and leads you away from the window, towards where there’s a bench by the wall in this boathouse. you both sit down, and you bring your backpack into your lap. you cross your knees in front of you and lean against the wall as you listen to eddie.

while he tells you all of these crazy things and you listen intently, without words you offer him your hand to hold. and you feel his mood and thoughts shifting with how he holds your hands. how when he tells you about dustin and his friends—including, apparently, steve harrington—visiting, his hands are calmer then than they are when he talks about what happened with chrissy. turns out eddie was there, and he witnessed her murder. which is traumatic enough, and you completely understand why he ran away. you believe him, you believe what he said happened did happen, and you can’t imagine what that’s like.

his thumb also nearly digs holes into your palm when he tells you about the upside down and the monster, you guess, dustin and he think killed chrissy. the connection between that guy and a wizard from dungeons & dragons is spot-on, actually, and seems even too fitting to be true. but you believe him nonetheless. eddie may be a lot of things, but a liar or a murderer he certainly isn’t.

after he’s told you seemingly everything, you can’t think of things to say to put him at ease. but you remember what you have in your bag. “you want some giggles?” you ask him as you’re opening the zipper of your bag. they might not be very metal, but they’re one of eddie’s favourite snacks. you take the pack out of your bag and see eddie eyeing it quite hungrily. you always make sure to be carrying a pack or two of giggles, anyway, knowing eddie likes them. and he loves you for it. you hand eddie the small box over and look into his eyes, pondering his silence. but then you realise it’s probably because of your own. “you know i’m not good with words,” you tell him.

“yeah,” eddie says quietly with a nod and opens the giggles box, “but... but you believe me, right? i feel so stupid asking that, but...”

“no, no, it’s not stupid,” you assure him, “it’s just a lot to take in. you’re still processing, and i can’t imagine what it’s like—what you saw.” you say and shake your head. “god, it’s just horrible...”

“i can hardly believe it happened,” eddie says with a shake of his head, “has my name... gone public yet? the cops after me?” he gives you a look. but you shrug, even though you hate to crush his hopes.

“i have no idea, eddie,” you tell him, “i haven’t been home since, like, eleven am.” he gives you a worried look.

“you should go, then,” he says and you look into his eyes. is he asking you kindly or is he pushing you away? “it’s already late.”

“go home alone? by foot? with a killer on the loose? yeah, no way,” you dismiss his suggestion or whatever it was quickly, “besides, i don’t wanna be anywhere else but with you. and you may not admit it, but you need the support.” you make a point. “you’ll go insane, all cooped up in here with no one to talk to. while dustin and the others are looking for a solution... you need a friend.” you say and turn to look at eddie with a smile.

he gives you a half-sad, half-cheeky smile in return as he eats his giggles. “you wanna hang out with your cult-leader, freak murderer best friend?” he offers teasingly, always trying to make humor out of any situation. you shake your head.

“you’re not a cult leader or a murderer, eddie,” you assure him, “i don’t believe you killed chrissy, especially like that. i don’t believe that at all.”

eddie wanted to express his gratitude before he made that stupid, teasing comment, so he decides that now’s the right moment again. “thank you,” he says, “really. i know how... how all this sounds, and how shit like this can twist people’s minds... you could have thought anything of me and of what’s happened.” there’s a solemn look in his eyes, the eyes that shine in the moonlight of this beautiful night.

“no one could ever convince me you killed someone,” you pat his hand, “i like to think i know you like no one else does,” you say with a smile, “and i know you’d never do something like this,” you say as your eyes connect, “and i’m not the only one that does. wayne, too.”

eddie breathes a deep sigh of relief at that fact, even closes his eyes and leans against the wall behind him with his back. now he’s on his way to being at some sort of peace. “i was worried about him,” he admits, “i even thought the cops might think he did it. later, of course, i didn’t have any time last night, to think about him, or anyone or anything else besides...” you both know besides what, he doesn’t need to say it out loud. you give him a nod.

“come on,” you start to say, “you might have your disagreements with wayne, but he’d never think you a murderer. he knows you just as well as i do, if not better.” you assure. “there are people on your side, okay?” you look into eddie’s eyes again, having leaned a bit closer to him now. eddie just looks back into yours. “one way or another, we’ll figure this out. until then, i’m here with you.”

finally eddie gives you a nod in response. he rubs his thumb over the skin of your hand in that certain way that only says one thing. “thanks, y/n, really,” eddie tells you quietly, earnestness in his eyes and in his voice, “it’s very metal of you.” he says, knowing it will crack you up. eddie doesn't always know how to best communicate his feelings, even if he wants to be straight-forward. so he expresses his feelings how he best knows to. he tries to hide his smile as he says those words, but he cracks once he sees you laugh.

“i do try,” you say between heaved breaths and laughs. very metal indeed.

tags: @d4td7ewmachine

permanent tag-list: @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @works-of-fanfiction @ur-gunna-h8-ths @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131 @gasbomb69 @xoxobabydolls @corallyink @rottenstyx

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things oneshot #stranger things imagine #stranger things one shot

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khruschevshoe · 2 months

Note

Hello! You recently posted a 11th doctor analysis/critique(?) post and I really want to post my point of view and such and maybe start a sort of discussion? You obviously wouldn't have to respond! I don't even know if I'd respond, I'm not good with conversations. I just kinda want to get your permission I guess, because I really don't mean what I'd write as hate and maybe you just made this as a sort of vent/your opinion post and don't actually want anyone to discuss it.

Here's the post in question btw.

Hey, I totally wouldn't mind you responding and I would love to see your opinion (especially since you were so polite about it) but I'm going to be completely honest: my opinions on Eleven's arc have already changed somewhat since I wrote it! I've been reading a lot of analysis of his era recently and I've been getting a better overall view of his arc all the way through the end of it entirely. Though I still agree with some of the points that I made regarding kindness v. cruelty and agency, I feel like they only apply to the Pond era specifically, and even then it's a bit more nuanced than I wrote it, more about the framing of the end of their arc by the writers rather than choices by the characters themselves. Taking into consideration his entire arc/era I think softens the thematic arc I wrote about, though once again framing in the Time of the Doctor kind of posing Eleven as this sort of god-like all-important figure gets a bit dialled up (though tbh regeneration episodes tend to be a bit sloppy on that front in general, and I think my problem with the Time of the Doctor has less to do with framing/these themes specifically and more to do with the fact that we don't really get any emotional investment in the town of Christmas from a character point of view making it feel a bit less impactful from a character-driven v. plot-driven writing lens).

Still, even with my (personal, subjective) critiques of the Time of the Doctor and the Day of the Doctor from a writing point of view, I do have to say that rewatching them, they posit Eleven where I wanted to see him all along: as a Doctor driven by kindness. As a Doctor who looks at his trauma and his past and says "no more." No one else will get hurt by what happened.

I still don't like Angels Take Manhattan and I still really, really hate how the River Song arc played out in A Good Man Goes to War/Let's Kill Hitler (I think I might have made a post about it but I can't quite remember) and I personally think that a better ending for the Ponds would have been for them to decide to stop travelling with the Doctor on their own for character arc reasons, but I think that by the end of Eleven's era, we get to see the Doctor from the Beast Below. We get to see all that pain and misery and loneliness, and it just made him kind. I think even if I have some questions about the exact details of how it plays out, we get a return to theme. We get an Eleven that sacrifices his life for someone else. We get The Doctor, a man who comes to heal.

I'm sorry if this came out a bit rambling; I think that reflects the more nuanced, messy opinion I have on Eleven's era now. And I think that as I've grown older and read more critiques and analysises of every era of Doctor Who, that's how I've begun to feel about every era of the show. Season 3 might be my favorite season of the show, but you cannot deny the antiblack undertones of the writing of both Mickey and Martha (despite how much I love their arcs). While I still am not a fan of the way that the narrative takes agency away from Amy and River in Season 6 (and the way that the narrative framing posits River Song and Clara as being "born to save/kill the Doctor"), I now really, really love the Pandorica Opens/Big Bang as well as several other episodes of Eleven's era that gave me a sour taste in my mouth as a teenager. I like Season 8 Clara's arc more than I used to, especially when it made me quit watching back in the day (even if I think that Danny deserves better). I think that Heaven Sent/Hell Bent is an amazing finale, my third favorite of the show (proving an old opinion that I tend to dislike Moffat finales wrong), but I don't think that Season 9 is the strongest lead-up for it. Season 10 is my third favorite season of the show (though I do question the fact that both of Moffat's black companions get turned into Cybermen). I honestly think that many episodes of Thirteen's era are well-written (Demons of the Punjab, the Witchfinders, and Nikola Tesla's Night of Terror are classic episodes of all time for me) or were, like, one tweak away from brilliance and that though there are a few stinkers (Kerblam, I hate you with a burning passion) every showrunner has a few stinkers under their belt (Girl in the Fireplace, Let's Kill Hitler, Kill the Moon, for example). I even think the Timeless Child is not as bad as I think it once was (I think the Cybermasters might actually be the worst part of that episode). I think that the 50th anniversary and the Power of the Doctor are better celebrations of the show than the 60th anniversary specials.

And none of that I would have thought a couple of months ago, much less nine years ago when I first quit the show. But that's the value of time and thought; you gain more nuance if you're willing to think about something long and hard enough.

Once again, I'm so sorry for rambling; I've been trying to find a way to put all of these messy thoughts together for awhile now and your ask gave me the place to do so. Thank you for that.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, though! Please feel free to start a dialogue/write your own response/etc.

#eleventh doctor #steven moffat #chris chibnall #twelfth doctor #thirteenth doctor #meta #analysis #angels take manhattan #time of the doctor #amy pond #river song #nuance is part of growing up #doctor who #the beast below #my asks

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multiplekittens · 1 year

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Hello. I think occasionally I will do an embarrassingly earnest long post about my reflections on whatever media I'm currently thinking about. I'll tag them with #long poast so you can mute it if you want. I'll also put most of it under a read more.

This one will be tangentially about Bocchi the Rock, but it's mostly a personal essay that uses Bocchi as a jumping off point. I'll be talking about a character who shows up late, and I think you'll be fine if you want to read but don't know shit about the character. If you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I wouldn't read, but otherwise I think you're probably fine. I'm also gonna talk about homophobia/transphobia in the US (specifically about the "groomer" conservative trend and accompanying legislation), so be aware of that too.

I finished Bocchi the Rock months ago and while in general it was very much a "she's just like me fr" experience (like it is for a lot of people) I literally cannot stop thinking about Bocchi and Kikuri's friendship. I remember watching the second-to-last episode and seeing how Kikuri was supporting and teaching Bocchi and just treating her like a regular person, despite the fact that it was clear Bocchi was working through Issues, and just starting to cry. Even though it was not supposed to be a particularly emotionally resonant scene, it was just such a good example of how important friendships between non-related adults and kids could be, and I couldn't help but think about how that concept is being litigated to hell in the US right now.

I don't think I really need to explain on Tumblr to my 100% American followers what's happening right now, but just in case I'll summarize a bit. The current conservative push to call trans and gay people "groomers" for being around children at all while not lying about their identity is obviously extremely harmful for gay and trans people, but I also think that the accompanying stigmatization and criminalization of any non-related adult having any sort of friendship with a child is also going to be incredibly harmful to children, as well. You can see this with how teachers and librarians (not even gay and trans ones!) are treated -- those are the two positions where it's most socially acceptable for adults to interact with children regularly, and they're being accused of "brainwashing" kids just for providing them with books.

I'm worried about how this is going to affect kids, because I've been on both sides of relationships like that and I've seen how important they are. I used to tutor math in a rural southern town, and when I moved across states to where I live now so that I could finally come out as a nonbinary lesbian, I remember having to break the news to all my students that I wouldn't be teaching them anymore. I remember one fourth-grader I tutored who really only needed someone to tell her she could do math begging me not to move so I could stay and tutor her. I remember her asking for a hug after our last session, and I constantly think about what her parents would have to say about me giving it if I hadn't been closeted. I also wonder what would have happened if I went through this process just a couple years later.

Of course, I've been the child too; I remember seventh grade, when I first moved to an entire new state into a tiny K-12 school where everyone knew each other already. My twin and I started doing plays and made friends with two high school seniors, Mae and Tsuki (not their real names). Despite the fact that we were young, extremely awkward, and anxious, they were always extremely kind to us, letting us sit next to them on busses during Science Olympiad trips, exchanging emails (!), and generally letting us hang out with them even though I'm sure we were annoying, cringy, and just generally seventh graders.

Looking back, I realize they probably didn't have a great time in that school either. They were the only furries in the entire school, and at least one of them came out as bi after school was over. I'm almost certain the average adult would not have approved of our friendship, but out of everyone at that school they were the only people I ever knew who were actively encouraging of our interests; one of them even got me a piece of original film from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, a gift I still treasure and have to this day, over a decade later. (I would go on to be bullied and othered over my love of star trek, sci-fi, and not stereotypically "girly" things for the rest of my time at that school). They made an otherwise very rocky year much more bearable, and helped me to feel that maybe I was someone who people would like to be around when I really needed that. I think there's next to no chance they could read this and I have no way to contact them, but I hope they're doing well now and I wish I could let them know how much their friendship meant to me, even now.

I think that friendship is why the relationship between Kukiri and Bocchi resonated so much with me, and why I'm heartbroken about the US trying to litigate those relationships away. While Kukiri isn't explicitly queer, a) come on of course she is and b) she's definitely not what an adult would call a "good influence." She's constantly drunk around Bocchi, sometimes offers her alcohol, takes Bocchi's money so she can buy more alcohol, and teaches her how to illegally busk. But at the same time, I know firsthand how much a "cool" adult (or nearly-adult, in my case) taking you under their wing can mean, and how much it can help low self-esteem for someone like that to believe in you when you can't even begin to believe in yourself. If US conservatives have their way, then experiences like these will disappear for good. For everyone's sake, I truly hope they don't succeed.

#bocchi the rock!#original poast #long poast #homophobia #transphobia #rb's are ok

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hahahahahangst · 2 years

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All or nothing (Be The Young 7)

GIANT TW which will be valid for each episode for suicidal thoughts, self-h*rm, violence, cursing, relatives dying, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will break canon (mostly from the S2 finale) but will try to get back into it for the sake of ✨ lore ✨ .

Summary: Emily's life used to be normal. Until one day, her family died, leaving behind just one letter.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

MASTERLIST

All or nothing

My heart is still recovering From the heartbreak of another kind I'm still drying my tears Getting over my own fears In my life So I want to make sure this time That I'm strong enough To give it my all .

“Please, please tell me you have a lead.” Said Emily, lightly banging her head on the table. They were at a cafe’, looking for a new gig to follow. Few weeks had passed and nobody had ever spoken about her going berserk after finding their dad. They had been cold on any leads for a while and Emily was anxious to get back to hunting.

Dean was reading the newspaper, Sam was at his laptop and Emily was at hers.

“Well, a woman fell 10 thousand feet and survived.” Said Dean, with an interrogative tone.

“Now, that’s lame.” Sighed his sister.

“Maybe we could go back to New York, say hello to Sarah again?” Said the eldest, elbowing Sam and referring to a girl they had met a couple of gigs prior. Sam, however, looked distracted.

“I think I got something worth checking out.” He said, not taking his eyes off the screen. “A man named Daniel Elkins, in Colorado, was mauled in his home. The police cannot figure it out.”

Dean’s eyes lit at the name. He grabbed their dad’s journal and started flicking through it. About halfway through he stopped and slid it towards Sam and Emily.

It said D Elkins, 970-555-0158.

“Do you think it’s the same Elkins?” Asked Emily, pulling the journal closer.

Later that day, they were traveling towards Colorado. Emily sat in the back of the Impala reading something on her laptop, while Sam was snoring lightly in the front-seat. Dean was driving and everything went pretty much silent, only the music and the sound of the engine echoing in the almost empty street. Emily looked outside the car and enjoyed the rare moment of total calm. There was no fighting, no picking at each other, no pain. There had not been for a while. Dean had been weirdly kind to her: she was unsure if out of pity or if he actually decided to be a decent human being to her. However, she enjoyed every second of finally being treated like a little sister. Dean had gone so far as to show her how to tap in the police radio and Sam would let her choose where they would eat, even if she always chose the worst fast food place in the town. Soon, it was night. Emily kept Dean company for the rest of the journey, occasionally commenting on what they would see on the road.

When they arrived in Colorado, the three of them settled down in a motel. Sam fell asleep again right after touching the hard mattress, but Emily hung around, reading a book she got from a gas station. Dean was also awake, on the other side of the room. She felt itchy behind her neck, her body signaling her that someone was staring at her.

“Stop staring at me.” She said, low enough to not wake up Sam. Dean cleared his voice and the tingling stopped, just to resume a couple of seconds later. “Dude.” Emily closed the book.

Dean hesitated for a second, then stood up, threw her jacket to her, wore his and opened the door. “We need to talk.” He said. Emily looked at Dean, confused, as he hurriedly gestured towards the door. She followed him out.

Dean leaned on his car. She did the same, but kept her distances.

“So…“ she said, after a minute of sitting in silence. ”...what did you want to talk about?”

“It's Sam. He started to have these… episodes.” Emily looked more confused than before,

”...episodes? What do you mean?” she asked.

“He's been… uh- dreaming. About things. People dying, usually in a violent way.” Emily let Dean speak. “These dreams, they… they seem to be predicting the future. We do not know why he's having them or what they mean, but they haven't been wrong yet.” The girl sat in silence and nodded. “I just thought you should know.” Concluded Dean. The both of them stayed on the hood of the car, in complete silence.

“Why did I not know?”

“Sam didn’t want to make you worry, but I figured it was better if you did.”

“Thank you.”

“Alright.”

The following morning, she woke up to Dean snoring. Sun was shining through the motel rooms, drawing beams of light all over the place. Sam was not in his bed, but she heard the sound of a keyboard ticking, which meant he was already up and researching something. She indulged in the comfort of the bed for a few minutes before getting out of bed and at work.

Later in the day they drove to Elkins' cabin. Sam lockpicked the door while Dean and Emily looked around, making sure to not be watched. They all turned on their flashlights while entering. The cabin was messy, destroyed, as if someone was looking for something desperately. Windows and doors were protected with salt, which suggested to them that Elkins was trying to protect himself.

“Do you think this guy was a hunter?” Asked Emily, touching the salt and visibly confused.

“Well that is not an oops I spilled the popcorn amount of salt.” Said Dean, while taking a journal from the table. “Look what I got here.”

The journal looked very similar to the one John used: it was old and made of leather, pages often with something glued or slightly ruined with time. It also dated way farther than John's.

They took the journal and moved to another room, where more destruction was scattered. The roof had a hole in it. On the floor, there were several scratches, one of which immediately caught her eye. She tried to look at them closer, but even with the light she wasn't able to read them properly. She could swear, however, that they were letters. Dean joined her and he used a piece of paper to get the outline: it was a sequence of letters and numbers, just like their father did, indicating the coordinates to a post office.

“How do you think this guy knew dad?” Asked Emily while they were driving back towards the city.

“Well the coordinates, the journal: maybe they both have a military past, maybe they ran the marines together.” Dean answered her, focused on the street.

“If it were like that I would have expected to see dad around.”

“Maybe he doesn't know or maybe they weren't that much of friends.”

Emily answered with a sigh and looked at the snowy mountains in the distance. “Do you think we will see him again?” She said a while later. Sam, who for the entire conversation had been looking in front of him, absentminded, now looked at her.

“Of course we will, Emily. I just hope he's got a good plan.”

“Of course he has.” Argued Dean.

When they got into the post office, Dean stayed in the car while Sam and Emily went and opened the box. They found a single item: an envelope, marked JW, as in John Winchester. “Or Johnatan Weiner. No way to tell for sure.” Joked Emily. “Do you think this is for dad?”

“That would be too much of a coincidence if it weren't.”

They spoke while walking out of the post office, walking towards the car. Emily was just about to ask her brother if he thought they should open it, when they saw Dean speaking with a taller, larger man that they immediately recognized as their father.

“Dad, what are you doing here, are you alright?” She sped up her pace to meet him.

“It’s okay, I read the news about Daniel and then I saw you at his place. Good job covering your tracks by the way.” Dean smiled proudly and was about to say something, but Emily interrupted him.

“Dad, why did you come all over here for this guy?” She questioned, willing to know more, as she sat back in the backseat.

“He was a good man, he taught me a lot. We had a.. uh- a falling out years ago.” He explained, coldly. Then, he pointed at the letter Emily was still holding on her lap. “Give me that.” He opened the envelope and started reading, whispering comments here and there, until he stopped, looking surprised. “He had it all along.”

The three siblings looked at each other. “What?” Said Sam and Emily. Their dad seemed to become more agitated.

“When you were at his apartment, did you- uh- did you see a gun? A Colt revolver, very old.” They looked at each other. “Did you see it?” He repeated.

“There was an old case that would have fit that kind of gun.” said Dean after pondering for a second “but it was empty.”

John looked at Dean, Sam and Emily, one by one, as if he was expecting someone to come up and say that the gun had been there all along. However, nobody did. Mostly, Sam and Emily seemed confused, the more confused every word their dad said.

“They have it.” He murmured before getting out of the car. “We gotta pick up the trail.” John continued, getting out of the car. Dean was the first one to follow him, but Emily and Sam quickly caught up, ready to question their father.

“Why is this gun important?” Asked Emily. In the same exact moment, Sam also asked a question: “Do you really want us to come with you?”

“Who are they?” She also asked.

Emily heard Dean sigh in frustration, probably missing the times where he only had to deal with one questioning sibling at the time. She looked at him sideways, taking in a glimpse of his mood. John, however, was very quick to cut it short. “It's important because I say so.” He said.

“We don't even know what we are going after!” Continued Emily, trying to get at least clarity on what to expect.

“You don't, I do. Vampires. Let's meet back at the motel.” John said, stern and cold. He then got onto his truck and started driving. Dean did the same.

“You two really are siblings, uh?” Asked Dean, slightly bitter. “Can't take an order even if it costs your life.”

“This is not about orders, Dean.” Answered back Emily. “It’s about safety. He wasn’t even going to tell us what we were after.”

“That is the definition of order, Emily, they are not meant to be understood, they are meant to be followed. No discussions, no sarcasm. We already went over this I do not know how many times.”

“Yeah, and we will keep doing it, as long as you are wrong and I am right.” Emily smiled sarcastically. She was not in the mood to fight about that and she was trying extremely hard to not get too upset about anything. She could still feel on her skin how much out of control she felt the last time. Sam, instead, was not happy to settle it with a joke.

“Dean, Emily is not wrong, dad is just ordering us around as if we were children: do you really not think we deserve to know a little more?” Dean dismissed Sam with an annoyed gesture and by making the music louder.

Back at the motel, nobody picked up the topic. In fact, nobody spoke.

The following morning, Emily was the second one to wake up. Her dad was already (or still) awake, listening to the police radio. Since she was still half asleep, she could not elaborate what the radio said, but John woke her and her brothers up by calling them all urgently. He urged them to leave immediately and before Emily had the time to realize what was happening, they were already at a crime scene. John ordered them to stay in the car. Emily was about to get upset at him and try to fight, but she tried to rationalize it: there was no point in showing up in four people, risking to be caught as fake agents.

“I don't understand why we have to stay in the car.” Argued Sam while looking at his dad talking with the policemen.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh please, not again.” Emily was about to back up Sam’s words, but John was suddenly back with the info needed. “They are heading west, we should move.”

“How do you know?” Asked Sam, angry. Dean sighed and tried to stop him.

While Emily felt a little less weird knowing that someone else in the family was uncomfortable with the way John talked to them, she was also not on board with how Sam behaved. Before their father was back the previous day he had been the most empathetic, understanding human being, but after that he went back to being his old self: obsessed, nervous and kind of annoying.

“I just want to know if we are going in the right direction!” Sam kept discussing.

“We are.” Said John. He then stayed silent, looking at Sam. “Any other questions?” None of the siblings answered, so he proceeded to get into his car and start driving. Dean followed him.

While he was driving, he threw Emily the journal they had found at the cabin. “See what you can find on vampires.” He said. She started reading, until she found a paragraph that reminded her of the crime scene they just visited. She read it out loud.

“Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten. Smaller packs are sent to hunt for food...Uh- Victims are taken to the nest, where the pack keeps them alive for weeks or days…“ She kept reading for a second. “That doesn't sound fun. I wonder if that’s what happened to the couple.”

Dean nodded, but Sam was still grumpy from the last discussion with his father. “Yeah, maybe dad thinks that too. Of course, it would be nice if he told us so.”

“Oh god, so it's really going to be like this from now on?” Argued back Dean. “We've been looking for dad all year and you can't keep peace for two hours?” He looked at Sam, then at Emily. “I did not think I was ever going to say this, but for the first time ever Emily is causing me way less problems than you are.”

“Dean, I am very happy that dad is back.” Said Sam. “But it's just the way he treats us, like we are children.” Dean scoffed. “Come on, all he does is bark orders, we are not even allowed to ask questions!” The eldest brother waited for Sam to finish. Then he looked back at Emily.

“Well first of all: Emily is a child.” She tried to interrupt him to argue, but he kept going. “I don't care how old you are, Emily: it's how you act. Second of all: you know that there is no time to chat: we need to act and we need to act fast, without error. Because err-”

“Errors cost lives, yeah Dean, we know all of this.” Said Emily. “But look at everything we went through just to find him! We deserve to be treated a little bit better than this, don’t you think?”

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