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jpbpxma · 2 days

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as you wish, princess;

content warnings/tags: nsfw, contains a lot of smut, oral sex (f. receiving), spanking, choking, pussy slapping, doggy-style, joel miller x reader, age gap (not mentioned).

"No Joel, I'm not listening to what you have to say. You were clearly flirting with her," you say, seething despite the cringe you feel at yourself for your immature, jealous behaviour. You cross your arms in front of you and start to walk away. "Okay, no no wait-" Joel says panickedly, running in front of you and grabbing you by the shoulders, "Listen, she was just asking me about fixing something about her car- anyways, it's not important and not what you think." "Right and how exactly is practically groping someone's biceps related to car repair? " You counter, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to cope a feel at these babies? " Joel smirks, pushing up his sleeve to reveal his obviously quite impressive bicep. You feel yourself soften a little at this playful side of him that only you seemed to bring out and would've admired his bicep more, even turned on by it a bit, if you weren't fuming. "Ugh! " You brush his hand off, rolling your eyes as you walk around and past him to make your way to the bedroom. As you sit down on the bed, he kneels in front of you. "I'm sorry, it honestly didn't even cross my mind that she was flirting," he continues, holding your hands. "Whatever," you dismiss him, although he could tell you were melting slowly but surely as you keep your hands in his.

He moves to sit beside you, a slight smile on his face told you the wheels in his head were turning. "Would this help make it up to you? " He murmurs as he pushes your hair behind your ear and nibbling on your earlobe. "No," you say firmly, holding onto your pride. He hums as he makes his way down, trailing kisses on your jawline and stops to suck on your neck. "How about now, baby? " He asks again, in a low voice. Still in denial, you shake your head no despite his actions making your core throb. Letting go of your hand, his hand slides into your pants, making you gasp when he makes contact.

"Gotcha," he rubs his middle finger up and down your slit while his thumb presses into your clit, moving it in a very tight circle. Already breathless and putty in his hands, you lean on him subconsciously as he gathers your wetness on his fingers. He brings his slick fingers to his mouth, letting out a satisfied mmh when he tastes you. You couldn't help but smile at this, practically vibrating with how turned on you were now. His hands gently push you back onto the bed as he climbs on top of you to kiss you with a new vigour, then making his way kissing down your body.

He unfastens the button of your jeans and swiftly yanks them down along with your panties, all the way off where he pauses for just a second. The corners of your mouth lift into a smile at Joel's momentary admiration of your pussy on the edge of your bed. His eyes flicker up to meet yours, maintaining eye contact as he slowly sank to his knees in front of you. You spread your legs, giving into him despite yourself as his lips ghost over your warm heat. He spreads your folds apart and licks a long stripe from your entrance to your clit with a flattened tongue.

You bite down a moan, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as your hips roll up against Joel's tongue. In between long licks and penetrating jabs of his tongue, you hear him muttering about how pretty your pussy is and how good you taste. Feeling warmth creep up your cheeks at his words, you let yourself go to him - anger completely dissipated. You grasp his hair and pull him off you, "I want you inside me, now, I can't wait," you demand. "As you wish, princess," Joel winks at you, licking his lips which were covered in your juices.

He climbs up your body to stop in front of you face, taking your lips in his. You moan as you taste yourself, his hands roaming under your shirt to thumb across your nipples. Your body arches involuntarily to get closer to his touch, you just couldn't get enough. He's lining himself up with your entrance when you touch his shoulder to stop him. "Actually I want you to fuck me doggy-style," you state, trying your luck as he usually preferred positions where he could see your face. Joel just laughs at your many demands, but is ready and willing to do anything to make it up to you.

He lifts you up and turns you around so you were on your hands and knees on the bed. "God, you're so beautiful," he lets out a sigh, groping your ass before landing a sharp smack across your left cheek. Your head tips back at the strike, a whimper leaving your lips as he does it again. Arousal drips down your thighs with every spank as your fingers grip the sheets below your tightly. He soothes the burn with a few gentle strokes of his palm, humming in approval when you arch your back. "Fuck, Joel, just fuck me already," you moan out, the constant stimulation with no release more torturous than you expected.

"Okay, okay, my pretty baby, I'm sorry, no more teasing," he soothes, kissing your shoulder as he positions himself behind you. Stroking his length a few times, he lines up his tip with your entrance, doing some shallow thrusts first. Your whimpers grow louder as he continues, pleas and begs falling carelessly from your lips as you rut against his cock. He sinks into you slowly, finally giving you what you want, shuddering when your walls surround his length in an intoxicating grip. Without warning, he increases the tempo, his hips slapping loudly against your ass as he pounds into you.

"Joel- oh my god- fuck, choke me," you rasp, taking the opportunity to fully give in to your desires. Joel usually doesn't like choking you, not wanting to hurt you in any way, especially considering how much bigger he was than you but now that he was at your mercy, he couldn't say no. He wraps his thick fingers around the base of your neck, squeezing lightly to test out the waters. He groans when you clench around him in response, increasing his speed while constricting your air flow until your vision is dotted with white. All of his ministrations have you lost in a daze of lust, the electric current of an impending orgasm buzzing throughout your body.

Joel's other hand that had been resting on your waist moves around inbetween your thighs to press against your clit before slapping it lightly causing your body to jolt as you moan loudly. Your jaw hangs open, moans falling out helplessly as he continues to thrust into you while slapping your clit and at the same time, cutting off your air supply. All of the stimulation combined sends you over the edge as you screw your eyes shut tight, gripping the sheets and curling your toes, shaking violently under his continued pace.

You're so out of it for a while, bathed in your own ecstasy, that you didn't notice he had come too. His chest is flush against your back as he grunts your name, holding you close until his hips stutter to a complete stop. Worn out and breathing heavily, he falls on the bed beside you where you join him, your head resting on his bicep. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his embrace. "Am I forgiven now, babe? " he smiles smugly, kissing your forehead. You roll your eyes but this time while smiling. "Hm, maybe I should get jealous more often," you tease back, pressing your lips to his.

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yuri-is-online · 3 days

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Sorry for making you explain all the yutus but can you do Jades? Bros gotta be so overprotective 😬

Jokes on you I am always down to talk about Jade Leech (my beloved)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. I think I typed up way more for this than anyone else up to this point, I'd apologize but it has been a second since I brain rotted about Jade, so excuse me for feeding myself (づ_ど)

Put yourself in Jade's shoes for a second. He is a merfolk from the coral sea, only able to appear human through the use of a potion but still retaining his inhuman features. He tries hard to appear human, he goes to a boot camp where so many things have to be explained that he is able to mimic but doesn't fully understand. There's no reason for you to like him, he knows that better than anyone; he doesn't fully understand why he's attracted to you himself but he is. And he longed after you for so long, he was drowning in his desire that had such a little chance of being reciprocated but by some miracle it was. You stay in Twisted Wonderland, you let him take you under the sea and agree to be kept there. You're going to give him a family, he's beyond excited and filled with feelings of love he didn't think he'd ever get to have.

And then it's gone. There's no evidence as to why, no one to tell him where you went. Azul starts off confident, excited at the prospect of revenge and encouraging Jade. They'll find them, between him, Jade, and Floyd they'll find Yuu and someone will have a very bad day. But there's nothing, they're being lied to and stonewalled at every turn and when finally (it's been 10 months 3 weeks and two days, he could count down to the hours and seconds but who would listen?) Riddle of all people contacts them with a lead, he's dead almost immediately. Turned into a phantom, all of those friends of yours he was so jealous of too… no one is telling him but he knows. You're not coming back, he's never going to meet your child, he failed at a moray's one job of protecting his cleaner shrimp. When he's alone he talks to you both sometimes, nights when you can see the stars are becoming increasingly rare as the sky flares up with ink but he likes to think you found your way up to the sky.

When he loses Floyd and Azul he sort of loses his will to live. The only thing that keeps him going is the promise of one day being able to lay them both to rest eventually, but until then he bar tends at NRC and listens to all the little things people talk about when the world is ending. If he was in a better place he'd probably find it funny how lose people's lips are getting, Azul’s business would be doing so well if he were here now…

That's what he's doing one day in September when one of the mage students runs up to him out of breath, Sherish he thinks her name is?

“The headmage needs you in the hospital wing!” She sounds scared, out of breath like she's run the whole way and Jade is just curious enough to go. Something spurs him on to run himself, through the mirror and into the wing and-

He doesn't even hesitate, his body acts before his brain does launching him towards you and grasping desperately at your hands. They're cold, you're going cold and he doesn't have the warmth in his body to give you. Something has mercy on him and let's your eyes open just the bit as you reach just as desperate to be close to him as he is to you and he feels your strength pass into him.

“Don't apologize.” He manages to whisper.

“But I'm sorry.” You cry. “I love you so much and I couldn't forget even though they wanted me to.”

“Who did this. Who took you just name them and I promise you my pearl-” he gets to kiss you one more time before your gone. Jade doesn't move, he thinks Crewel is yelling for his attention but he can't move, he wants to stay here forever he has to protect you, why wasn't he able to protect you?!

“Oh holy fuck that tastes bad.” There's a dazed voice Jade has never heard before, heavy with sorrow, and though he doesn't quite have it yet, Jade feels purpose begin to return to his heart.

Jade! Yutu is a menace. I like the idea of him being some form of punk or goth, with piercings and a few tattoos that Yuu doesn't know anything about. He grew up with a small group of close knit alt friends who would come over to Yuu's house and shoot the shit. Yuu was really popular with Yutu's friends actually, he had mixed feelings about that. (No, his parent isn't accepting step-father applications, Joshua, keep running your mouth and see what happens)

Has a mixed ranged of emotions about his parent's amnesia. When he was younger not knowing who his dad was made him really sad, he'd listen to other kids talk about doing things with their fathers and he'd dream about doing them with his dad, but the picture was always blurry and felt just... wrong somehow. As he gets older and starts forming his world view he starts to think his dad might have left Yuu for any number of reasons. Did it happen before or after their amnesia, that's what he wants to know.

He has a pretty big problem with authority, residual trauma from the trip across worlds he thinks now… but back in your world he just didn't see the point of respecting someone just because they have more money and power than him. Almost everyone does, that doesn't make them special! But he's so sneaky about it, if it weren't for his clothes or his friends Yuu would hardly know what he gets up to in his spare time. It put a bit of strain on their relationship, Yutu sees his lies as something he does to protect his parent, while Yuu sees themselves as well. A parent. Who is the one who should be protecting their child not the other way around.

When he tries to pull similar stunts with Original Timeline! Jade he gets a rude awakening. He tries sneaking out to meet up with some friends only to find his dad sitting with them, polite smile on his face clearly reveling in how awkward he is making this. Oya, did Yutu think he was being slick? He's hurt, no really this is the first time Jade has had to fake cry in years, he'd almost forgot how. Didn't Yutu ever wonder where he got this from? Because he had to know it wasn't Yuu.

Jade! Yutu also played in a band in middle school and also played bass, it just wasn't a jazz trio or an upright bass. He would have liked continued to play in bands, but he shares his dad's issues with stage fright which makes it sort of difficult. He has tried his hand at writing his own music from time to time, but he's waaaaay too shy to ever play it for anyone other than the woods.

He really likes horror stories and cryptids, so he wasn't super afraid of the monsters when he first arrived in Twisted Wonderland. One round with Phantom Riddle changed that nonchalant attitude quick, and while he still is very attached to the stuff he read about back in your world he hates blot monsters and Twisted Wonderland fiends in general.

Speaking of those monsters, Jade hates Yutu fighting them. Father and son are an absolute nightmare for Crewel to deal with, one is threatening to drown him if Yutu is allowed to fight, the other is screaming curse words and saying it doesn't matter what Crewel does, he's going anyway. He needs a drink (but not from Jade's bar he's going to get poisoned)

I don't think Yutu actually told Jade he was planning on going back in time because he was angry and just assumed that he would try and stop him. He's really proud of himself for the first few weeks he spends in the past thinking he got one over on his old man finally (he didn't, but he did hurt him quite a bit), but the more he interacts with the younger version of his parents the more he starts to regret that decision.

Past Jade is so… fun. He thinks his dad is fun?! His weird obsession with mushrooms was never something they talked about beyond a few compliments his dad gave to a mushroom patch he had on his jacket; watching his old man prattle on now he never would have guessed any of this. Yutu never doubted that Jade loved you, but he didn't really think about what that looked like, or what you might have meant to Jade. They just didn't talk about it, now that he's forced to think about it Jade was probably trying to focus on having him back and how lucky he was to even have that. And instead of being honest about how angry he was to have lost you he lied and said he was fine. With how good his dad was at knowing when he was lying Jade had to know that's how he felt, but respected his boundaries and didn't push. All those comments about being there when he's ready to talk, all the times Jade said he loved him, and those long nights he watched from afar as Jade sat with tea next to your grave, just talking to you as if you were still there are put into context. Yutu isn't able to sleep for a few nights after that.

Jade finds Yutu interesting. He's a potential source of information about Yuu, a lot of his quirks remind him of himself and he finds the new kids blatant disrespect for authority to be hilarious! And hilariously good blackmail material, now now don't be afraid he really is just here to help...

"Nice try old man you won't pull shit out of me." Yutu sounds smug, but Jade knows when his spell has worked and when it hasn't; how delightful he doesn't seem to remember someone ever being so cocky about it before.

"That's a shame." He makes sure to make his face fall to keep the new kid off his guard as he continues his questioning. "It's just I am curious where did you come from? I thought Yuu's world doesn't have magic."

"I mean it doesn't, probably never would have been able to come back in time if I was still stuck there." Yutu blinks, clarity starting to come into view as Jade pushes through the surprise to ask a final question.

"Oya? And just why did you come back in time, were you worried about Yuu?"

"Of course I'm worried about my parent what sort of stupid question is-" Yutu returns to himself and treats Jade to a look of shock so rare and downright delightful he can't help but smile himself. "Hey just what did you do?"

Old man? What a disrespectful thing to call his father, no wonder his future self never told his son about his unique magic. Jade doesn't have time to doubt his affections for Yuu, once Yutu realizes he's fucked and can't get out of admitting that was the truth he tells Jade who he is and a bit about what the future is like. Jade can tell he's keeping a few details back, but he knows himself well enough to know that everything Yutu is describing would have changed him to a degree that he might not have been in the best mental space to help his son through the loss of Yuu.

Speaking of Yuu, Jade asks Yutu to keep his existence to himself for a bit. He wants to win over your affections without the help of the future looming in your thoughts, he only gets to have this part of his life with you once and he intends to savor it. But the confidence boost he gets from knowing you do end up as his mate does have him acting a bit goofy for a bit. Floyd and Azul are legitimately scared.

They are brought up to speed as Jade insists on introducing Yutu to them "properly" and he is every inch the proud father showing off their new baby to the relatives even though Yutu is practically his height and has a bunch of piercings. Floyd takes a liking to him immediately while Azul is a bit more awkward, not that he doesn't like Yutu he's just a lot different from anyone Azul has ever met before so he's unsure how to sell himself. Luckily he doesn't have to because Yutu appreciates his genuine self just like Floyd, Jade, and Yuu do.

Jade gladly invites Yutu to join the Mountain Lover's Club and is very excited when he says yes. Yutu finds a lot of enjoyment in helping his dad work mushrooms into Azul and Floyd's food by pretending to agree with their complaints. Floyd is so mad he calls Yuu and tells them to come get their kid.

The over protectiveness doesn't end exactly, but Yutu is more willing to understand and Jade is more able to explain himself. They're both extremely protective of Yuu and in sound agreement that nothing like Yutu's future can ever be allowed to come to pass. Jade wanted a family, so to learn that he got that and someone took it away from him? Future him was overwhelmed with grief but current him is overwhelmed with rage. Remember book four? He described what he would do to someone who betrayed him, and it wasn't pretty. His plans for whoever did this to his precious mate and child is going to get so much worse.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #jade leech x yuu

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hgduo · 4 months

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I've sorta mentally checked out from the stream due to the sensory overload, but it does warm my heart seeing Roier comfortably speak Portuguese with the native spekaers like it's just really awesome 💖

#roier #qpurgatory 2 #im not fluent so I can't say for sure how good his grasp on the language is #but he's holding conversation really well with the native speakers from what I'm hearing so far!#just makes me think about the overall goal of the server: uniting people

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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People be like "merry Christmas" meanwhile I'm over here uncovering new depths of my trauma

#yeah so apparently I experienced csa and I'm honestly not processing that super well #i started just telling people about stuff that happened that i never want to talk about #and they were like 'uh yeah thats csa im sorry you went through that' 💀#like wdym that was csa?? ahhhdjdj ah djdhdgd #in all seriousness though I've gad a lot of very painful realizations about this lately #like the fact that people knew and not only let it happen but actively tried to allow it to continue #and prevent people who actually try to do anything about it from finding out. including me! i was told it was all normal #like 'oh yes this is all normal. but also dont tell anyone this.'#'not because its wrong but because theyll get the wrong idea'#god. i can't comprehend it #i never thought it was sa because ive always been asexual. i couldnt think of any motive so i just didnt know #i didn't have any grasp of what sexuality was in general. i thought it was like a social construct or a game i was sometimes bad at #i still don't understand. i hate how when i think about it all i feel like a little kid again

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happi-tree · 11 months

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soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚

#i was so taken by this scene in the movie that it was literally the first thing i wrote for this au. head in my hands gay people real <3 #the sasharcy in this. very self-indulgent very off the charts. the sashanne and marcanne too but that is not the focus here lmao #anyway. hiiiiiii amphibia fandom i am not like. super dead dndads has just had a very sudden and firm grasp on my heart as of late hsbfkahv #also there's a brief glimpse at sasha's backstory here. it really sucks when you're meant to be the paragon of all that is good and pure #and you have the eyes of an entire realm on you at all times. and you keep pushing the envelope of what's proper #i.e. not wearing the frilly dresses all of the time taking up fighting etc. this would already be hard enough if you were a regular student #but you aren't that. everyone is watching you and has Expectations for you and you know what you want but you can't let yourself have it #so you just repress things so hard. cling to whatever you can get away with and try your very best to excel at everything they let you have #and then in come marcy and anne and you've never seen two people less concerned with The Rules. their existence itself flips the script #and you have NO idea what to do about that! other than panic internally ofc <3 #anywho. sorry the sasha bias really came through with this one i just think her pov in this would be so inch resting #okok i'm done now i promise #cartoons #amphibia #sasharcy #happi scribbles #happi rambles #also. if ppl like this please do lmk bc while i doubt i'll finish this i do have a few more disjointed bits i could post up for y'all <3 #tartd au

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torgawl · 2 months

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unpopular opinion but a ship being queer coded doesn't make it compelling

#the dynamic between the characters‚ on another hand‚ does!#sometimes ships from certain media are carried by 'queer coding' instead of being relevant because of the actual relationship #that‚ to me‚ means very little #what does it matter if their colours compliment each other or that their names are intended to hint at something if the relationship in #the story fails to portray anything romance-like or their dynamic is just poorly written?#i could go on a tangent here because this is coming from me wanting to rant about a specific genshin ship but i will shut up #i just want to be a hater #i don't even hate the ship itself it's the fans who take scenes out of context and depth from the characters to make the narrative fit #also the constant idea in fandoms that friendships/platonic relationships can't have depth or be the reason someone cares deeply for #somebody else. or even the idea platonic feelings can't be complicated.#i think it's also hard for me to swallow every genshin ship because it's obvious they use queer coding without compromise as a way to #profit with both the staights and the lgbts but whatever #yes i am aware of the censorship but i'm also aware they're a multi-millionaire company that keeps repeating the same 'formula'#for marketing everytime new characters are released... and it works.#genshin will never be as gay as actual gay media from gay creators and i think people have a hard time grasping that #a bit unrelated to my original point but also not really because i do think it influences the way people interact with the story #i'm not trying to say people can't have fun by the way 😂#this all started because i dislike a popular ship and that makes you feel like you're somehow missing a few screws #how come i'm the only right person here 🤣 (joking)

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merevide · 10 months

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confession i’ve been seeing this damn screenshot EVERYWHERE and every time i saw it i went ‘omg i can’t remember this scene did they cut it did they delete it. where is this from’ and i just remembered.

#i literally washed this scene from my MIND i can't take this anymore #i watched the episode. and i saw like 10 variations of this screenshot thinking it was some deleted scene between lottie and nat #that no one told me about. or that it was edited from something. whattt the fuck #no one understands. how bad this is for me. did i force myself to forget this scene #listen listen listen i get the point of this scene. i get it. i understand it.#esp concerning the fact that lottie indirectly killed travis. yknow. but also what the hell is going on here man. what is going on anymore #logically i know i need to watch the scene again to grasp it but also....i'm not fucking doing that #this is straying far from the original point ok the original point is that there are a few burned holes in my memory #so if u ever see me making a fool of myself analyzing scenes that i just can't remember......be nice to me lmafo #nearly 11PM and i'm losing my marbles ok bye #yellowjackets

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orbleglorb · 8 months

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nothing makes me feel stupider than reading poetry i just can't fucking understand. unfortunately that is most poetry.

#i can't understand abstract things no matter how hard i try #unfortunately that does mean that most people find me stupid #i want to understand So Bad but i can't unless i'm walked through it #and even then i sometimes don't get it #and asking for help is just a great way to be called an idiot #i am so bad at understanding why poems are as emotionally impactful as everyone finds them #like i conceptually can understand richard siken poems but i don't get them like everyone else does #and it makes me feel so fucking stupid #i've had too many teachers mad that i didn't 'just get it' to NOT be made to feel like an idiot #everyone talks about how stories without symbolism are empty & ppl who enjoy stories w/o symbolism are... many things #unwilling to do critical thinking AT BEST #idk i want to. i just fucking can't because i'm fucking stupid #i cannot look at anything in a story and understand its symbolism #i can only barely grasp themes and then it's hard to put into words what it is #“oh there's no right answer” 12 years of school have taught me otherwise

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wholemleko · 9 months

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#full of so much vicious envy #envying the people who got to grow up and stay stable #I miss when I could read fast and spell correctly consistently #I envy the friendships that can somehow be extremely close while also remaining stable #I envy the people who can feel safe about other people #I don't even know how to put it into words #I envy the people who can hold a job #and the people who can do it in spite of the horrors #and I'm grateful I still have a roof over my head #but this rant is about feeling weak and pathetic in part #cause last time I tried to do a chore more intense than putting away a couple of dishes I spiraled #how am I supposed to live #i can't afford treatment #and I don't think those who have money they can spend on me see treatment as a necessity that is urgent #so what can I do anyways. rot #I envy the people who can just fucking live and still have a grasp on their own mind and abilities #and who are able to be normal about other people #feel normal about human connection #not be craving it desperately while fearing it violently #I want to be able to write like I used to #but I never want to love the way I used to love every again #I envy people who can enjoy something and not let it take control over their mind to an irrational and stupid degree #where things that at the end of the day do not matter in my life still make me go into fight or flight the instant I wake up in the morning #vent

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art-of-mathematics · 1 year

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Today's thought gibberish (random splinters of thought that popped up in my mind)

- - -- --- -----

Durch jeden Missverfolg gewinnt man Erfahrungen.

Demnach ist Versag durchaus ein Schritt zum Erfolg.

Reiht man viele Schritte aneinander - so ergibt sich daraus ein Weg, den man selbst erschafft während man ihn geht.

Das Ziel dabei ist nur der Prozess des Gehens, - des Lernens, des Entstehens, des Erfahrens.

Ich weiß nicht, was mein Ziel ist, doch diese Art von UNgewissheit gibt mir die Möglichkeit, jeden Tag frei zu entscheiden, welchen Weg ich gehen möchte.

Dadurch, dass etwas nicht vordefiniert ist, nicht vorbestimmt, kann es sich frei entfalten.

--- -- - -

- - -- --- -----

In uncertainty lies opportunity.

In uncertainty lies opportunity to change.

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- - -- --- -----

[Self-determination], and [environmental and situational restrictions] can and will co-exist.

--- -- - -

- - -- --- FIO ergo SUM --- -- - -

#thought gibberish #fio ergo sum #nonsense brabble #i do not really know what i write here - but I have a vague grasp on what I might mean...#it drives me nuts - somehow #my brain crumbles - like - almost literally #this sort of thinking about your thinking is like dissolving yourself #maybe i really can't withstand the situation and my past to crush me #maybe it's just analysis paralysis #it feels like severe brain fog #like time stands still - and simultaneously rushes super fast #it's like there are two or more clocks inside me - whose times are dilated/contracted differently #this sounds like nonsense #this state of mind/consciousness is disturbing #yet i can use this smartphone to write this nonsense #maybe i just need to do something else #but i'm obsessed with these thought loops - they are too interesting - and I do not know what I could be doing instead #the situation consists of waiting for an appointment in a psychosomatic clinic - and waiting for finally moving away from Dresden #so - waiting and not being able to properly do anything is the actual problem #also: all these changes are making me severely anxious #thoughts about thinking

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shiningstages · 1 year

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Getting White Day Tsukasa first try, and seeing the newer cards on JP, really makes me wanna write fanfic again..........

#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( hi my brain still isn't quite here.........i think i need genuine alone time to Really recharge but i'm not gonna get that #work has really been piling on the hours; and next week is all closing shifts #but thinking about tsukasa saki toya found family / friends stuff..........how toya in any au would also just have connections with #EVERYONE ( this white day and jp white day cards )#akito and mizuki with tsukasa could be a huge bickering found family in a royal au........people please explore this more #the angst that could also come from mizuki going on a journey to find toya / saki / rui but also feeling like she doesn't belong on it #like in the sense that; while she wants to make sure rui is safe; she knows she probably can't change what he's become #and what if that's for the better in order for rui to find his own place and live his own life?? who would she be to take that from him??#the tsukasa and mizuki talks that come from them both knowing rui; but at two different angles..........#akito solely on a journey just to rescue toya; not initially caring about tsukasa's connections to him but then slowly growing fond of #Story Time; “only i truly know toya” says the man that's now grasping at any mention of him #realizing other people can have......well Other People in their lives that they share different experiences with #or that are just as impotant of bonds or experiences #i wanna call it “the folly of knight tsukasa” since he's just. so connected.#of course his main trough line is saki. stayed with her no matter what; doesn't want to stop doing that #but now seeing her with different views as him and striding on her own.......who am i to stop her from happiness part2 #there are no concrete thoughts here; just thoughts #kind of like knights ( tsukasa / mizuki / akito ) versus outcast alchemists / magic ( toya / rui / saki )#maybe magic banned..........or perhaps Dangerous magic #saki being so close to nature and strong healing magic; but her sickly body makes it so hard on her #some royal “she should be in the palace” / tsukasa “no she needs to have tea parties with her friends; not starve her body for you”#some royal “many blinking emojis”#toya having like dark magic that he's never really learned about / awakened until his father puts so much stress on him #rui ( royal researcher ) helping him control it but also wield it ( for himself and toya )#toya's dad upon finding out sending him into death; tsukasa helps with an absolute exile / run away type plot instead #tells saki to go with toya so he can keep her safe and out of the royal's minds #the king gets injured by frantic akito and mizuki thinking he's offed their best friends #king uses this opportunity to put out a public manhunt on his son since he wanted him dead anyways #tsukasa freaks and gives up his honor to chase after toyaruisaki

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astrxealis · 1 year

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sorry for being a nerd. i’m not actually sorry at all

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i am so. so. so !!!!!!!! i will never shut up about my interests and passions #not at all sorry for being so passionate and enthusiastic even if i get shy about it. oops #i loooove enabling others to talk about what they love because that is something that means the world to me #and it is something i want for others too! because i hope what makes me happy also makes them happy #also because it is something i dearly want for myself except ?? hm ??? idk how much effort i put for others compared to them and #whatever is okay but it kinda sucks sometimes putting my all into all that i do and it being returned with. barely anything or not at all #but i keep doing it and it's weird bcs i know i deserve better but #nah i'm just rambling about something i can't fully grasp rn so i'll stop! might finally continue gbf msq #ALSO I LOVE IVALICE. sorry a song from uhmm tactics i think? just came up #i really want to play tactics bcs ik it is actually one of the best final fantasies as well. also i love strategy!!!!!#i reaaaally like ivalice. the world is just so huge and super cool. i am esp interested in ffxii #i don't have as much knowledge about the world of ivalice compared to fabula nova crystallis or however you spell it but yeah #ffxiv lore ... i want to read everything in the encylopedias ..............

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ruckis--rookie · 2 years

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Anyway a FB group rejected me and I’m finna complain about it. Wasn’t going to originally but I literally cannot access the supposed comment they left on one of my posts so I can’t even begin to tell what’s wrong or justify what it is I posted??? Mainly went back to look cuz I don’t want any accusations put on me BUT! sigh.

I say that cuz I looked at the reason they rejected my request and it was “did not accept community guildines” so I looked through the guidelines. Guess what! Nothing I’ve posted goes against the guidelines and as far as I know there was no “I accept these terms button” sooo??? wtf

the reason I know nothing I posted goes against the guidelines is cuz I scrolled back through every single one of my posts. not even a joke. to see if I could spot the comment. If groups can somehow block you that sucks cuz I mean. It did say the comment was made for hours ago from when I saw it, but at the same time I’m not hunched over FB 24/7 and I can’t even access the comment through settings and there’s nothing on it that would be preventing me from seeing said comment I think :/ Can an entire FB group block you? Idk how FB works maybe they just deleted it.

anyways don’t do drugs unless they’re prescribed kids, stay off facebook unless you need to call your mom or other family member over the age of 35

#ruckis rants #until further notice private FB Group of 100k+ members“That Sir Is a Frog” is hax.#if this is about me quote on quote handling a frog wrong in one of my photos thats bs #cuz most of the lil shits I took pictures of were rescues and were well in the way of a bigger danger than my human hands #that and I was not holdeng them wrong I was holding them in a way they didn't hop out of my hands #just long enough for me to put them somewhere safe #so that they dont. oh you know. take a four foot plunge face first into the ground which would hurt them more #frogs arent the most graceful hoppers #my own gf can attest to me being extra careful with small animals bcuz I dont wanna hurt em #she has straight up seen me shaking a bit after I put them down simply cuz I was worried about them #at the same time some mfs seem to think their bones are made out of leaf paper. ya'll wtf #they're frogs not gnats #the person who is scared of handling small animals for more than a minute #has more of a grasp than you on just how much a frog can take #ruckis rants ruckis rants #ough ough ough I'm angry can you tell #mostly due to the fact that I can't see what they're accusing me of doing wrong #I really want to say some not so family friendly things but the internet aint the place for that

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gamebunny-advance · 2 years

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Here's some answers to your questions. 1, “Aikosha” contains the kanjis '愛' (ai) meaning love, '好' (ko) meaning good, and '者' (sha) meaning person. And in short, they make the word '愛好者' or 'Aikosha', meaning 'fan'. 2, in the AU, Joey and Gigi aren't actually siblings. They're actually half-siblings.

1] I see~ Thanks for the breakdown. That being the case though, I still feel weird about it. It's nice that it's no longer a negative term, but now it's just a word.

To be blunt: I just don't think it's "clever."

I think you're in the right direction trying to make these "reference" names, but they're not being "punched up" enough. There's a lack of *aesthetic* to your name choices.

Like, let's look at the name you borrowed, "Nimbasa". It incorporates the word "nimbus" to reference clouds, but it isn't literally "Nimbus." It invokes the imagery while making the name itself aesthetically pleasing. I can imagine themes of airiness, and phrases like "walking on air" or "head in the clouds." This is likely a carefree place that might occasionally have "storms" or negative occurrences.

For a canon example, I know that "Natura" literally just means "nature," but I think most people can agree that "nature" as a concept is "poetic" on its own. People name things after nature and plants all the time because we find those things beautiful and meaningful. I can already just imagine a place flush with greenery and plants. It's probably a calm place with a dignified air.

Like, I don't have the same problem with the "Deepsea" district, because likewise, the sea by itself is poetic. The deep sea specifically brings to mind images of mystery and coolness. I can imagine a place that looks serene, but beneath it all something dangerous is lurking in the shadows. There's something for me to work with there.

Maybe it's just me, but words like "fan" and phrases like "cutting edge" just aren't poetic to me in a way that says someone would live in a place named after these things. Like, "fan" itself is kinda generic on its own. A fan of what? All of these artists have "fans." It's just not a word/concept which has well established poetic imagery, and what imagery I do have for it is generally pretty negative to neutral. It's not a place where I can imagine being.

And it doesn't have to be as "flowery" as the earlier examples. To look at the other canon names, "Cast Tech" invokes the words "broadcast" or "telecast" and "technology," so we already know that it's a place where technology is prevalent. It doesn't really have any space themes as far as I'm aware, but the technology theme still works since it's "smart people stuff," which generally describes DJSS's "smarter than you" attitude and his history as a professor.

The "Metro Division" is similar in that "Metro" invokes modern themes. When I hear "metro," I think bustling city, which describes the nightlife of that district pretty well, while the "Division" could refer to a military unit, which suits the militaristic themes of that district too.

I just feel like your district names should be more than just "things." They should invoke a "feeling" too, ya know? Something that either tells me what this place is like or what the charter who runs it is like. I'm just not getting that from "Aikosha," "Edge Cut," or "Melayu Baju."

2] Half-siblings are still siblings, ya know XP. But I suppose that might add another layer to their conflict.

Thanks for answering a couple of my concerns~

#nsr #civilian au #i am writing entire essays about these friggin' district names #but i don't have anything else to grasp onto #i'm just not sure what this au is supposed to be #what am i supposed to get out of it #i think i said this last time #but what is the point of a character swap au if the character dynamics are going to be nearly identical to the original?#it makes sense if it's just art: it would be cool to see the characters in a different outfit #and/or demeanor #but if it's a rewritting of the story #then i'm not sure what i can get out of this that i can't get out of the original #if this civilian au isn't about exploring how the civilians would react in these new situations #and are instead taking on the traits of the orginals #then what is really changing except the looks of the characters?#so far this is a costume swap au where i don't get to see the costumes #or even enough information to imagine the costumes #i know i write and post a lot of unfinished stuff but y'all choose to follow me and subject yourselves to that #i am being sent these totally unprompted and i really don't know why #what do you want from me?#approval? feedback? a fan?#if i keep getting sent these with all this barebones-ness my answers are gonna start getting short and terse #i feel like i'm putting more work into this than you are #and that might not be the case #i don't know what you haven't shown me #it takes a lot of courage to share your work with other people so maybe you're only showing me the bits you're confident in #but i feel like i'm not getting back what i'm putting in #ya know it takes me hours to write these responses because i want to give meaningful feedback #but i feel like i'm wasting my time because i don't even know if this is what you want from me #if i don't get *something* out of this by the next response

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lenofiga · 4 days

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#ahhh I recall this was one of the first event stories I read so i didn't really have a good grasp of their dynamics and relationships #but I def remember wanting to punch fi because of this scene #It rubbed me the wrong way how he's kinda dismissing fa's feelings just because he's younger #and therefore acc to him lacks experience to understand the world like he does as well as fi's feelings #and like well there you go?!! if that's what you think #how is he supposed to know how you feel if you don't tell him he can't read minds can he??#also how fi was like you could have fixed me you know but you decided you were too obsessed and eager to die for your best friend instead #and then I found out they probably only spent 5-10 years at most then and fa was in his late-teens early twenties #do you expect rtl and mimi to be on the same page for example??#but then seeing how much fa cared for bianca and lnox and his other brethren #it probably would've taken him a lifetime to get over alc no fallout or fallout #in that sense I think fi was right to distance himself if he's not comfortable w that BUT like don't expect to be welcomed again w open arm #idk where I stand here even now I think I wanna reread the episodes about them again before deciding i'm just kinda rambling here #but like bro please just communicate properly instead of dropping the news of your imminent demise to your estranged student #first thing after reuniting in centuries #then there's also me questioning whether fa would've understood even if fi tried to express how he felt anwy #either way fa doesn't owe it to fi to reciprocate how he feels and live up to his expectations #my first read of this felt like i'm judging some randos or acquaintances for their tea and drama aita style

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keets-writing-corner · 3 months

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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

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