#i joke but i LIVE for that shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beastofwant · 4 months

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#disco elysium #hi if u are seeing this post hello.#im a disabled faggot in a horrific living situation wherein my neighbor is stalking me. i feel quite klaasjepilled #jokes aside shits scary pls check out my pinned for a gofundme to get out of here thanks I love you all mwah

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wingsofhcpe · 10 months

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actually there's a huge difference between queerbaiting/"Hey guys look how gay these two are haha they're definitely gonna end up together, give us views uwu oh- never mind oops they're going to superhell" and "Hey it's 2004-2012 and there's no way we can get away with having our protags/main couple be two gay men but we really want to show these two are soulmates so we'll do it through subtext and underlying messages and by literally telling you over and over again their relationship is the most stable and important in the entire show, and the ending will imply they lived and died together", and it's insane that some of yall don't see how these two are not the same fucking thing.

#saw a very Shit Take about hilson earlier and im like. hm. some of yall have no idea what gay rep was like before 2016ish and it shows!#i feel like usa queer ppl have forgotten that this is actually still the norm about queer rep in most non-USA places #or are young enough/new enough in fandom that they dont know this was actually the most we'd get at the time #like if it was queerbaiting it would eventually be played as a joke Haha No Homo #but it wasnt. like. their relationship was shown to be THE most stable and important one in both their lives & the show overall #they literally destroyed their LIVES to be with each other. repeatedly.#anyway i could write an entire 10 page thesis on the matter but i have an actual exam in three hrs so. another time #house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #gregory house #house x wilson

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whatudottu · 5 months

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Don't question what logical loops I had to leap through to make this happen, Shockwave's already doing that for y'all :)

do you think in universes where empurata exists that shockwave can remember the feeling of having a face? of remembering seeing from two eyes instead of one? does his head burn in pain as a twitch of non-existant lips spark incomplete pathways through his brain, does he miss the sensation of teeth and tongue beneath those twitching lips, heavy against the bottom of the mouth he no longer has?

:) Big Boobie Decepticons :)

#shockwave #tfp shockwave #breakdown #tfp breakdown #transformers #tfp #maccadam #fanart #making a joke post only to caption it with heavy shit? hip hip hooray!#another edition of 'putting shockwave into situations that utterly confound him'#this being 'breakdown lives' edition or at least 'breakdown lives long enough to see shockwave'#this is a high effort shitpost i used to cope with the fact i have no puter only laptop so i do art instead #which is an oldie from when i still had school so it's ONLY purpose is to art #because it can't do anything else atm #the text in shockwave's colour is a modified 'why are we here' copypasta #having to deal with the chicanery of breakdown's bodacious chassis chat #i'd say that the confusion alone if not the irritation would be logical enough reason for the processor to run wild #even if he calls it illogical in the process #i don't know the size difference between shockwave and breakdown #i just know that starscream is about the same heightish as shockwave give or take a stiletto #and breakdown's taller than screamer so... head taller (if measuring from head because wow shoulders) breakdown #which is funny to me because breakdown's an apc and shockwave's a tank damn these proportions are wacky 😫

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enananhearts · 6 months

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HATSUNE FUCKING MIKU?????

#edits ♡#i dont fucking know why i made this her face is so fucking funny i couldnt not #prsk #pjsk #proseka #project sekai #shinonome akito #akito shinonome #vivid bad squad #vbs #vivibasu #tags over im gonna rant now. they did her SO FUCKING DIRTY WIT HTHIS FACE ITS SOOOO FUNNY IM LOSING MY SHIT #convinced me to look at more than just leakers on twt and. oh my god. the memes. eveyr opst has this fucking screenshot #its chaos. its insanity #i follow a bunch of east asian artists and ive seen like 80 doodle recreations #please fucking please let this be more than a 24 hour long joke please i need this to live on forever

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gingerswagfreckles · 10 months

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How is the Musk vs. Zuckerberg cage fight not all over tumblr immediately this is insane this is God's gift to mankind this is the funniest thing that's ever happened in the history of planet earth. Eat the rich???? Eat the rich??!!?!?! We aren't going to even get the CHANCE to eat the rich bc they are literally, LITERALLY going to kill each other with their teeth!!!!!

#gingerswagfreckles #elon musk #elon #the muskrat #mark zuckerberg #zuckerberg #musk vs zuckerberg #i think maybe bc none of yall check the real news ur not understanding that this is forreal and like actually fucking happening??#that they have a place set and an agency organizing it already and have both confirmed theyre dead fucking serious??#like its not a joke they are actually literally actually going to beat the shit out of each other on live TV this is the crazy #craziest thing ive evrr seen irl #like we have had a lot of crazy shit happen the past couple of years but this might just take the cake forreal christ alive

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thottybrucewayne · 4 months

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When I say "I'm rooting for everybody Black," I mean I'm including Black people who are usually overlooked outside and within the community. Black people whose Blackness becomes conditional the second they confront other Black people about bigotry within our community (Transmisogynoir, Transphobia, homophobia, ableism, sanism, etc.) not abusers and coons...

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #its solidarity this and solidarity that until a Black person who has delusions tells you that saying shit like 'delulu' hurts them #Black solidarity until its time to make a joke about famous abuse survivors #Black solidarity until its time to discuss ableist language being taken as aave #Black solidarity until its time to listen to any Black person who lives at an axis of oppression that you don't then its fuck em right?#Then if they criticize you they cease to be Black right?#Its funny cause I never see yall take this same stance of conditional Blackness when it comes to abusers and predators #Yall can say 'they always trying to take down a strong Black brother a leader in the community' and the nigga you pointing has done nothing #but use his power and influence to harm people further marginalized than him and doing it all under the image of a 'Good Christian Brother'#I'm tired of yall I swear to God

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200llbun · 1 year

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Au where Dipper is deadass blind (working at the library) and cannot see the tall lanky monster thingy in front of him and just kinda assumes it's a human - he knows somethings a bit off about the guy, but he stops his assumptions there bc it's rude and he got over his paranormal phase years ago. (He didn't)

#billdip #digital art #dipper pines #gravity falls #author #fanfic #art #mlm #bill cipher #au #fanart #inspo from frankinsteins monster (idk if i spelled that right) bc the og book had a blind dad talk to the monster #of course the guys family walked in on them talking and screamed bloody fuck and kinda shoo'ed the monster away #except in this au Bill wasnt really created he just kinda always lived and lurked to stalk humans and make deals since thats his food #kinda?#might change that though idk if I'll ever actually write it since I've been unmotivated w billdip for awhile #also dippers family doesnt shoo Bill away bc he lives alone #Pacifica tries to. But. Well that doesn't rlly work out that well #she tells Dipper that the guys a literal fucking illuminati monster taller than his door #dipper just kinda shrugs her off bc shes joked about shit he cant see being a monster and hes kinda over it by then #the girl cries wolf on her end #dip secretely wishes it to be true bc its been his sick fantasy ever since he was a teen #call him dorky or sick. he wont care #fanfics about monster fuckung had drilled into his mind #hes corrupted #in a good way #join the dark side dipper🤲#k bye

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kabutoden · 18 days

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sorriez for not posting I am now responsible for SEVEN PUPPIES

SEVEN

PUPPIES

#seven of them #this shit is crazy #puppies #dog #puppy #dont breed your dogs kids #theyre my neighbors im helping him out cus their mama is sick and i dont have a job #also if you live in kansas city and want a dog i have seven hmu. thats not a joke btw. i will give you this dog.#if the following genuinely applies to you 1. damn what are the chances 2. lets meet in person and talk first #i gotta find somewhere for SEVEN DOGS #AAAAA

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pibgeonart · 1 year

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yoooo new psychonauts 3 character reveal???!!?!

#no joke this shit took 3 weeks to make AND my computer ended up completely breaking after i finished #im afraid of people who 3d model for a living #blender #fanart #digital art #animation #character design #psychonauts #blender 3d #3d animation #psychonauts 2 #3d model

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honorthysalad · 7 months

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Screw the ghost shit, this is the biggest mystery in HGSN. If Chapter 22 doesn’t open with a full telling of Yoshiki’s tragic backstory: the birthday party where he received 11 copies of the same book from 11 different people, then idk if I can continue reading…

#For clarity I am joking #But we do know he has relatives that live close enough nearby to give him a watermelon and have it not be bad by the time it gets there #I’m assuming they’re on his dad’s side since… mom from tokyo #And then I’m also guessing that’s where Yoshiki’s dad stays so it’d explain why Yoshiki never goes and sees them or thinks about them #Every one of my posts is some rambling bullshit and then the real post is in the tags… should I separate some of these into actual posts?#Nah that seems like effort #Also that relatives thing is only in the official translation. Not the one you’ll find online #So idk how we as a fandom have decided to treat the canonness of those translations #the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #hgsn #My hgsn shit

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shorlinesorrows · 8 days

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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

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treasureplcnet · 5 months

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someone on the bodies production team you have to release more layout/bts pictures of charles whiteman's flat please. this is a great start but i need to know him better. particularly if it's got about as much mould as a second year uni house and if he owns as many chairs as it seems LOL

#ok the joke is at his expense but im already romanticising this shit #20-something loser karl weissman moves into the worst flat of all time and makes it a home #hangs a picture of his parents' wedding against the worst wallpaper you've ever seen #just buys what he likes and calls it decor #how else can you explain the fucking model boat next to the fucking telephone. AND YOU MAY TELL ME 'oh thats just random set stuff'#NOT TO ME!#and it stays until he's in his mid 30s. develops a habit of not cleaning up along the way #the shot where he seems to have taken off his shirt/tie/jacket and then dropped them off on various pieces of furniture. HE LIVES LIKE THIS #also entertaining the idea that its his parents' old stuff that he can't bring himself to throw out ..#i will created a fully fleshed out character using 8 episodes and fever dream visions if i have to #karl weissman #bodies netflix #edit: the original tags are above but since then i joined the discord and got to add these pictures LOL #saved this post as a draft bc i was like. i cant annoy people on the tag any more than i already have #doesnt matter. forcing this into the tag like a week after i made it anyway #im still so interested in the fact that it seems like there are more rooms that we never see #outside this bedroom and living space (and the bedroom isnt clear in the show either)#like. i rly need a 360 house tour NOW.#ALSO I FEEL LIKE A TOWN CRIER NO I DONT THINK HE HAS MOULD BUT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!!!!#the chair next to the liquor rly is something. hes MY babygirl

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tangledinink · 7 months

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i've actually decided that anyone who's made any disaster twin fanwork that includes dialogue along the lines of, "i can't survive without my other half," or "i'm not a whole person without you," or "life isn't worth living without my twin," owes me $50.

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prettyhighforawhiteguyblog · 3 months

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I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.