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#i hope you all fucking burn slowly to your fucking death
hazelfoureyes · 1 month
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The Radio Demon fucks a Human Sacrifice (part two)
This is part two! Here is part one. I lied, there is a bit of smut! Oopsie daisy. Inspired by @moonmark98 ‘s story idea of reader trying to forget Alastor and failing. I hadn’t planned a second part initially so I hope you like it 🥺
⟢ part1♡̶sidestory♡̶part2♡̶part3♡̶part4 ⟣
You return to earth and spend a year trying to crawl out from under the memory of Alastor. When an employee tells you a terrible past trauma, you end up right back where you started.
<Tags/Warnings/Promises: Alastor x reader, light smut, not as explicit as part one, masturbation, implied childhood trauma, justified homicide regarding said implication, stabbing, death, a realistic description of my former job, gerbil slander, your bitch aunt Sara, hiking as a hobby, guns, shooting, choking, florida weather, mentions of the 2021 Loo Loo Land fire>
minors DNI
“Ooh my, this is highly unusual. Charlie is right, you really shouldn’t be here.” Stolas fretted over you. “Uuunfortunately I don’t have my book at this particular moment however I can just snag it from Blitzy and be back soon.”
“What’s a blitzy?” Angel looked around the room to no one in particular.
“What isn’t he?” Stolas cooed. 
“Wait a minute!” Husk snapped his fingers, “Is that the imp who burned down loo loo land?”
“The very one!”
“He also takes hits out on people on earth, doesn’t he?” Husk gave Stolas a sideways look. Alastor hummed in acknowledgment.
“Ah haha yes” Nervously chuckling, Stolas scratched at the feathers behind his neck, “Anywho! I’ll return shortly and get you back where you belong, little one.” He flashed his kind smile to you before bowing to Charlie and portaling out of the room. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Charlie sat beside you on the edge of the bed. You’d been escorted immediately to an empty room upon arrival, sat down while the core staff of the hotel flitted about wildly upon hearing Angel’s recounting of events.
“You smell dirty”, the tiny maid cackled and ran to you before being lifted by her apron by Husk. 
“That is a”, you rubbed your wrists nervously, “complicated question…”
“There’s nowhere safer in all of hell than this room. With Vaggie and me and Alastor”, Charlie brought her hands to her mouth, “or— not Alas- I mean” She looked at Vaggie, “What do I mean??”
“Nothing and no one will lay a finger on you here.” Vaggie was staring at Alastor when she said it.
“I don’t think its fingers anyone’s worried about”, Angel shifted his gaze from Alastor to you and back.  
Alastor turned his head  slowly to meet Angel’s eyes, “Did you say something, Angel Dust?”
He shook his head and quickly left, Niffty and Husk in tow.
“I think you should leave, too.” Vaggie crossed her arms.
Alastor replied by taking a step closer to you, gesturing with his microphone, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about. She is safe and sound, barely a bruise on her.” He looked over you, the side of your face still slightly pink from the way you hit the ground hardly an hour ago. He could hear your body sliding across the wooden cabin floor still, what a strangely exciting noise. What else could he drag you across? What surfaces could he slide your over? What noises would they make? What noises would you make?
“You took her fucking soul, Alastor. In a coerced deal!”
“If I remember correctly, that is exactly what I had been asked to do.” He grinned, taking his monocle off and cleaning it on his sleeve. Vaggie looked to Charlie, who shrunk from her horrified face. “Plus, she’s still alive. Who knows if the deal even counts. I’ve never made one with a living person.” With an exaggerated shrug, Alastor took a seat on the sofa opposite the bed, legs crossed. “Either way, she isn’t anywhere near Val anymore.” His eyes met yours, for the first time since… 
You looked away. He wanted to grab your chin and force you to see him. He wanted to read what was written on your face. Shame? No…yes, but something more. Embarrassment. Confusion. Ah— You clenched your jaw, finally returning his stare. Anger. “Did I not do exactly what I had promised I would? What I had warned you I would?” Your lips curled over your teeth. “While yes, I hadn’t explicitly stated the number of times-“
“Stop talking! No, no. Enough of that.” Charlie waved her arms as if she could dissipate the very topic away, “Alastor could you please give me a moment alone with her?” She looked at him with big, worried eyes, “Please?”
Through gritted teeth Alastor acquiesced, “It is your hotel, Princess. I’ll be just outside the door.” The last sentence was for you, you could feel it like you could feel his shadow still ghosting over your legs.
As soon as the door shut, she closed the distance between you, looking to Vaggie who offered her a supportive nod.
“Seriously, are you hurt? Did he— Did he hurt  you?”
Oh, you wish he had. That’d be easier to say. Easier to process. You wish he’d knocked you around like Val had done earlier. That left you indignant, enraged. But this — whatever this was — you couldn’t find purchase on a reaction. You didn’t even want to think the things bubbling under your consciousness. 
“Just my pride. Uhh,” you shifted, your thighs and cunt sore to the touch, “He really did warn me. Got my okay, kind of. And he didn’t hurt me, except dragging me around and flipping me but-”, You noticed Charlie’s alarmed expression, “I’m physically fine.”
She nodded, her expression still oozing concern, “Well that’s good, then.”
“What… You both seem humanish, but what exactly are-“ You tipped your head in the direction of the door. 
“Well I think Angel is some kind of spider…Husk, not entirely sure honestly”, Charlie looked up as if searching for a memory, “Alastor is a deer. It’s all tied to how people lived and died, I think.”
A deer? You shook your head, “Nothing about that man resembles a prey animal.”
“His death sure did.” Vaggie commented.
“So if I have some weird death I’ll end up here? If I drown… I’ll come back as a fish?” You were mostly thinking out loud, and hadn’t expected Charlie to nod in agreement.
“But don’t think about that! You might still go to heaven. Like Al said, he isn’t even sure the deal is binding.” She beamed and clapped her hands together.
It felt binding. 
When that green light had erupted from beneath you, you thought you could feel him. Not the tentacles, or the memory of his hand. It felt like he was in the light itself, casting shadows on the ceiling in the shape of you. It felt alive, every ray of light a breathe washing over you. 
You looked down at the robe, white and silky. Where were your clothes? Where was your fucking aunt? What about your phone? You had a car, too. Wait, no… did you drive to her house? Or did she…You hadn’t slept since being dragged to hell. Staring at the hem of the sleeve, you tried to focus your mind but suddenly you were wading in cognitive mud.
Shadows gathered near the foot of the bed before you saw Alastor rise out of the cluster. Charlie said something, Vaggie said something but sharper. It sounded far away already. Your body was beginning to feel heavy, an ache settling across your back and thighs.
“Perhaps you should lie down, my dear.” His voice cut through the murky waters of your thoughts. The bed sunk beside you as he pressed a hand down, the other lifting your chin to force eye contact. Vaggie made a loud noise, Charlie a smaller one, a longer one. Was it words? Were they speaking? Your lids were heavy over your eyes, Alastor’s face beginning to blur. His smile looked strained, eyebrows knitted together in an emotion almost recognized. Concern? His grin threw it off. You raised your eyebrows to try and open your eyes wider but the effect was minimal.
You heard yourself groan as an arm hooked under your knees, another catching your shoulders as you fell to the side. It felt like you were floating. Your legs came down slowly, you could feel the robe adjusting around your waist. Your head went back before comfortably straightening. A warmth spread down your neck, leaving goosebumps to runaway down your shoulder. It was dark now, and in the haze you heard from somewhere so close it felt like maybe you had thought it yourself,  “In perpetuity, mon cher.” 
You didn’t recognize the room at first, but when you finally managed to lift yourself out of bed you sighed. Home. You only knew it had been real because of the robe and busted lip. Well, mostly sure. 
 No one noticed you were gone, which wasn’t shocking. Working backwards, you could piece together you had gone to visit your aunt on Saturday morning. You awoke early Monday in your own bed some 60 miles from your aunt's home. Your car had been found abandoned off an old dirt road way outside of town. 
You tried to get back to life, get to work. But you were clearly only half there.
Your aunt was found dead the following weekend, half submerged in a swamp just outside of Tampa. Her funeral was funny. Not “haha” funny, “Say hi to Val for me” kinda funny. When they lowered her into the ground you wondered what she looked like. What's the animal manifestation of a selfish, raging bitch? What’s the most untrustworthy home appliance? 
Probably a gerbil, or a toaster. 
You found yourself doing that a lot, What will they look like in the afterlife?
It took a good six months for you to stop sleeping in the robe. You couldn’t trash it, it was evidence you had been spirited away. It smelled like smoke and baby oil. Like Angel. It was soft on your skin, like—
Oh. It took less time for the dreams to calm down. Maybe a month of waking up in a cold sweat.  
At first they were stressful. Val backhanding you. The feeling of leather chafing against your wrists. The cabin. The real one, not the set.
But then one night they weren’t stressful. You could remember the dream like it had really happened. A large hand cupping your cheek, another roaming past your hips before hooking under your knee. The warmth of a breath on your neck, on your navel. More hands. Everywhere. Your back, your ankle, your neck. 
You woke up and the first feeling you felt was disappointment. It hit you like a truck. 
The dreams slowly ramped up until some nights you awoke mid-orgasm. Never in your life had you experienced wet dreams; you didn’t even know women got them.
And it wasn’t always him—- well, not at first. You’d be kissing someone, a stranger or your ex or whoever. You’d have your hands in their hair, enjoying the feeling of their tongue sliding over yours. You’d be positively humming into their mouth. They’d pull you forward, lie you down, tugging your pants down your legs.
When they’d kiss up your arm and nestle into your neck they’d whisper hottily into your ear, “My doe.”
Sometimes you woke up, but many times you didn’t. Many times you grabbed his face and kissed him, letting him take control and direct you. You’d shrink beneath him, allowing him to use your body as he pleased. You’d surrender, you’d melt. He’d fuck you into the ground of god-knows-where, nails cutting into the flesh of your ass as he pulled you up to meet each punishing thrust. There were trees and starlight and you felt the humidity on your skin. 
You’d always squirm away, try to escape the pleasure and he would find joy in pulling you back onto his cock. It felt like a game where you both already knew the outcome. “Going to cum, sweetheart?”, would be the last thing you heard before the real life spasms of your release stirred you awake. 
The first man you took home after returning to earth was sweet. Gentle. Too gentle. You’d try to direct him, to let him know you wouldn’t break but he’d shy away from asserting dominance.
Other partners were more in charge, but it didn’t sit right. If you were going to allow someone control over you, you felt like they had to deserve it. You needed to respect them in some capacity. 
You tried choking during sex, while it did heighten the pleasure their hand felt so small it broke your concentration. Bondage was fun, you got a rush from shibari, but all it did was inform your dreams. 
You tried femdom, and while it was impowering it didn’t scratch that itch. You tried being a sub, but like before you found the people over you as unworthy of you. You didn’t think so highly of yourself, it’s just that autonomy was precious and these people were, well, just people. Mortals.  
Your friends enjoyed your hoe era, self titled, but it was short lived. It had been eight months since you returned when you bought your first real sex toy, and took up hiking. It felt nice to be outdoors, and the days you spent in the forests seemed to make for nights of  less intense dreams. 
Your toy was, ashamedly, selected for its three points of contact. A pink little vibrator, big enough to need some work into you but not painful. The first time you used it you clung to your pillow, heart ballooning against your spiked blood pressure, and screamed a chorus of his name. The two points inside you vibrating in tandem with the small suction cup shape extending from the base doming your clit brought back delicious memories. 
Every time, you felt embarrassed after. You could imagine him hearing you all the way in hell and chuckling at how pathetic you were. Satisfied at how empty you felt after.
It wasn’t just about the sex, you were never a very sexually needy person. You were chasing that feeling of surrender, of being both safe and out of control at the same time. The little bit of danger with the pleasure. But not, “local woman found dead in the woods” kind of danger. “Corrupt your soul and ruin your afterlife” kind of danger.
After a year of being earthside, life had finally calmed. Were you still fucked in your dreams? Yes, but a manageable once or so a month. Your toy was nice, but not necessary. A man, or anyone, hadn’t touched you in months. And that was alright. You felt almost normal, except the mornings you woke up hoping to see a pair of red eyes somewhere in the room. 
You chalked it up to escapism. 
Work had promoted you, twice, which helped distract you from boredom. While performing one of your monthly employee meetings, you met with a young man you’d recently hired. He was still in college, but he had a good head on his shoulders and made quick decisions. You were confident he’d be your equal within the year.
(Implied childhood trauma below the line; not graphic but it’s implied to have happened)
⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹
“Tired?” He asked you while you logged back into your computer. 
You nodded, yawning into the back of your hand, “Spent most of Sunday at Shallow Ridge. Scoping out a good camping spot for when it warms up.”
“No shit, my dad hunts out there. Every Sunday, too.”
“I didn’t take you for the hunting type”, You blinked away the exhaustion and opened his employee file.
“Nah I’m not.” He shook his head, “He used to take me all the time when I was little.”
You nodded, not looking at him and only half listening, “Aww, sounds fun.”
He scoffed. You found the audio file of his graded phone calls, double clicking it. The file seemed corrupted. 
“Not fun?” You absentmindedly asked.
You opened the program to manually find the call file. The silence began to creep over you until you felt your chest heavy under the weight of it.
You finally looked at him. The look in his eyes was distant, the color from his face was gone. 
“Hey”, your tone changed, your subconscious recognizing something before you did.
He snapped back up, looking at you now. His smile didn’t meet his eyes. You didn’t say anything, just pushed your chair from your desk and looked directly at him.
“What?” He averted his gaze.
“You know you can tell me anything, right? You’re not just a resource here. Hell, I see you more than my own flesh and blood.”
He nodded, and when he finally brought his eyes back to yours his composure cracked and tears fell down his cheeks in streams. “It’s fine” he forced a laugh, “It was like a million years ago.”
You took off the rest of the day, and after providing hugs and your own tears and information on company sponsored counseling and resources, you went home.
Well, first you went to the camping store. And then home. Your dreams that week were calm, as if they knew you couldn’t enjoy a romp in a field.
When Saturday night bled into Sunday morning, you drove your car to Shallow Ridge. You placed the keys on the front seat and left your phone under the seat itself.
You waited for four hours, but eventually a truck pulled up and the man you saw in various Facebook photos and tagged family Christmas cards made his way into the dense forest. You circled back on the trail, head dizzy. 
You knew you couldn’t overpower him, but you weren’t trying to win. You just wanted to make him hurt. You’d met men like him before. You’d suffered men like him. Survived men like him. When you two crossed paths on the barely marked trail and you were a beat behind him, you stopped, took out the hunting knife you were told could cut bone, and brought it down into the crook of his neck with both hands.
He whipped around, shock and panic on his face as his hands came back from his shoulder bloody. When he scrambled for his gun you sliced at his chest, then again at his throat but it wasn’t deep enough to stop him. 
As he advanced on you, fumbling with his shotgun, you tumbled backwards. He fell with you, pinning you down beneath the full weight of his body on your stomach. Twisting beneath him you almost got onto your side when you sunk the knife into his inner thigh, remembering the artery there from your mother’s surgery. He got the gun loaded, aimed it at your chest, “Crazy bitch!”
“Fuck you.” 
He fired.
Your breath left steam as it flitted weakly from your body, frost still on the ground. Your mouth was open as blood held your face to the forest floor. As your vision darkened, you watched the man slump over and onto the ground beside you. His eyes were open and unmoving. 
A burst of green erupted from beneath you, and you smiled as you sank down into the light.
“Did you miss me terribly, my little doe?”
(Part three)
༻Masterlist༺
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golden
percy jackson x reader — you take his place on the throne
cw: EPISODE 5 SPOILERS (ish), swearing
The boat bobs along the water slowly. You feel sick. For a while, the two of you just sit there, still reeling.
“You okay?” Percy asks after he catches his breath.
You’d reached out and grabbed his hand without realizing it in your panic. You’re suddenly very aware of his skin on yours, warm and kind of clammy. You disentangle your fingers without comment.
“Yeah.”
He’s about to say something to fill the awkward silence when your eyes widen.
“There’s the shield!” You exclaim, standing.
He follows your gaze to a golden statue, the shield wedged between its hands. The boat doesn’t stop, though. He looks at you, and then back at the statue.
“We’re gonna have to jump,” he says, and you grimace. The artificial waves are getting choppier.
You eye the water.
“On three?” You finally say.
Percy smiles in a way that he hopes is reassuring. “On three.”
“One…two-!” Before you can say three, the boat lurches and you both topple over the edge.
As soon as the water closes over your head, you’re struggling and kicking. You can’t tell up from down. Your lungs squeeze, your eyes sting. Somewhere in the haze, you see Percy, and you reach out, but he’s so far. He disappears in a whirl of water, and you think, wow, after all of this, I’m about to die in an amusement park.
Suddenly, something solid rushes to meet you and there’s air on your face and you can’t stop coughing.
Percy places an unsure hand on your back as you suck in rattling breaths. He says something, but it still sounds like everything’s underwater.
You shake your head sharply, hand pressing your ear flat until the water drips out and you can hear again. “I’m alright,” you say, before he asks. He helps you stagger into a standing position. For a few moments, the only sound is your wheezing.
Percy squints at the chair. “This is Hephestasus’ park, right?”
You nod.
“I think this is Hera’s throne,” he says slowly, glancing at you for confirmation.
You vaguely recall that story. “She sat in it and couldn’t get up,” you think aloud.
“It was a trade,” Percy continues. “Aphrodite’s hand in marriage for Hera. The shield for…”
One of us.
Oh.
“I’ll do it.”
He catches your arm as you start forward. “Wait a minute!”
“Whoever goes in there isn’t coming back,” you explain, brows set in a hard line.
“I know, that’s why I said wait!”
You yank your arm back. Percy’s face flickers with something you can’t read.
“You need to stay alive,” you say, stressing every word.
“So do you!”
You shake your head. “You have your mom. You have Grover. You have people who need you.”
The I don’t hangs in the air, unsaid.
He opens his mouth, then shuts it again.
I need you, he wants to say.
But he doesn’t.
“The gods chose you, Percy. This is your quest.”
This is wrong. This is so wrong. It’s cruel, and so unfair that they have to choose. Fuck this. Fuck all of this.
“This isn’t about that,” he protests, though he knows he can’t beat you. You’d always had a sharper tongue than him.
You unhook your dagger. He remembers the arch, only yesterday. Is this how you felt? This burning in his chest?
“It is. It all goes back to that prophecy. To fate. To the Fates.”
Your eyes burn with tears as you hold out your dagger for him to take.
He blinks hard. “This is wrong,” he says, voice wavering, and you’ve never seen him like this before. Always tough, always witty. Unserious, sure, but never afraid.
You push it towards him, and he takes it.
“I know.”
Your fingers twitch. You’d hug him, one last time, but you remember how he froze back in St. Louis.
So you don't.
You walk over to the chair, heart pounding. This is a death sentence. This is it. This is it.
“Hey, Percy?”
His head snaps up, lip tugged between his teeth as he holds back tears too.
“Go save your mom,” You say. “Save her, save the bolt, and tell Grover I’m sorry.”
You picture Grover’s face when he finds out what happened to you. You turn away, stand right in front of the throne. It glints in the swimming light.
“And if you have a chance, I don’t know, maybe swing back around here and try to get me out?”
He laughs sadly. “You think you had to ask?”
“Just making sure.”
You sit.
For a moment, nothing happens, and you're worried that you’d said all that for nothing. You’d feel pretty stupid.
And then—
“This is weird,” you say. “It’s warm.”
There’s fear in his eyes and your dagger in his hand.
Something snakes its way up your leg, smooth and fast. It feels like wax, almost, hardening over your skin.
“This is a bad idea,” Percy says, eyes tracking something at your feet. “Stand up.”
You don’t look at what he’s looking at. You don’t want to.
“I can’t.” Panic rises in your chest, fast and unwelcome, and you’d be shaking if you could move.
“y/n—”
“It’s okay,” you whisper, voice hoarse. The words don’t sound right in your mouth. Your legs are completely immobile. Your breath comes in short gasps. “I’m okay. I’m… okay.”
You look at him, trembling and still pretty damp, mouth open like he wants to say something.
Whatever’s seeping onto your face is warm and brittle. You stare hard at his eyes. They’re a shining blue. They’re afraid.
It’s the last thing you see.
a/n: sorry guys cliffhangers make me giggle ‼️ I’ll write another part If u guys would want me to !
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mockerycrow · 8 months
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Frozen Fingertips [2/2] (Ghost x GN!Reader)
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ghost masterlist - part one
Summary: Ghost struggles to keep you alive through these harsh times.
A/N: I’m so glad you guys enjoyed part one!! i did not shrink the font of this one because i realized that it may strain some peoples’ eyes. this is not as angsty as i wished it to be, and it isn’t as long as i hoped. i apologize. tbh i don’t like this, but i hope y’all enjoy
[WARNINGS: Descriptions of developing hypothermia and frost bite, delirium, near-death experience(s), angst to fluff.]
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THE BLIZZARD WAS not stopping and it didn’t show signs of stopping any time soon, which honestly terrifies Ghost because of your awful condition. Despite his previous efforts, you quickly slipped back into a delirious state of developing hypothermia—a state you weren’t completely aware of, but you knew something was wrong. You could vaguely acknowledge the way that you were fading in and out wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. What you hated was the painful tingling and the weird.. harsh cold entering your lungs every time you took a deep breath. You’re so warm, yet your lungs burn cold.
You only saw times in glimpses—what you thought was likely a matter of hours, expanded across a matter of a few days. The harsh blizzard was unwavering, it’s snow falling from the sky harshly messing with the radio signals. Ghost would sit by the window with his personal radio on his vest, along with the emergency signal radio he had stowed in his pack. He would get small glimpses of other peoples voices—Price’s would come through occasionally, luckily long enough for Ghost to update him about their situation and their whereabouts, your condition; but Ghost was never able to provide an update about an exact location. The windows were frosted over and even when they weren’t, all Ghost saw was endless snow and pine trees far as the eye can see, until they eventually faded from view due to the snow coverage. Every time Ghost suddenly becomes aware of his breath, he can’t help but glance over at you; wrapped up in two sleeping bags, sitting way too close to the fireplace—sometimes shuddering, and sometimes.. not moving at all. His heart drops to his stomach when he doesn’t see your breath in the air. He calls your name loudly, firm and demanding and when you don’t answer, he scrambles from his position by the window. “Fuck,” He utters. “Fuck!”
Ghost ignores the pain in his knees when they harshly bash against the ground as he kneels next to you. He grabs your face by your cheeks, startled by the hue of blue on your lips. “Bloody bell—wake up!” Ghost snarls, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. He holds his breath until he sees your chest slowly yet shakily rise—and then you exhale very slowly, and clearly with amounts of trouble. Relief floods Ghost’s veins, but it’s quickly replaced by frustration and panic. You gasp quietly before you begin to shiver uncontrollably again, and taking Ghost completely by surprise; you open your eyes. Your eyes are glazed over, your eyelids puffy. “[Name]?” Ghost questions, his eyes staring hard into yours, silently noting your dialed pupils. “[Name], can you hear me?” If you do, you don’t make coherent indication. Your tongue darts out and wets your lips before you croak out, “I gotta pee.” Ghost huffs and shakes his head, his hand shooting up and laying on your chest—which is covered by many thicker layers, so disregarding Ghost’s hand, it’s not very likely you could’ve gotten up without help, anyway. “You went an hour ago, yeah? You need to stay layin’ down.” You groan and despite your arms being tucked into your multiple covers, something moves against the fabric as if to swat Ghost’s hand away. Ghost can’t help but swallow nervously; he isn’t stupid, he’s aware you’re in one of the stages of hypothermia, he told Price as much. He’s been able to keep the frostbite at bay, but he’s running out of firewood. It’s snowing way too damn hard for him to even pick up stray logs and sticks laying around. Your slowed heartrate, increased urge to urinate, slow cognitive functions, slurred speech, cold skin—blue lips..
It’s not looking good and Ghost doesn’t want to think about that, but that’s all he can see of you right now, so how could he not? And it’s hard both mentally and physically to stay in this cabin, seeing you deteriorate while he himself is getting absolutely fucking freezing. Ghost has had to shed a layer or two just to keep you alive. He can’t deny the way the cold air is scratching at his skin, seeping through his balaclava and into his jaw, nearly making his bones hurt. Ghost clenches his teeth as he shudders for a moment, eyes fluttering closed just long enough to gain his composure. Fuck. Ghost doesn’t want to die here. He doesn’t want you to die here, not like this. Not in a run-down abandoned cabin with shitty insulation, where frostbite is nipping at your fingers and where the cold is finally getting to Ghost’s head. He grits his teeth and sits back on his ass normally with a gloved hand to his head, his vision absolutely swimming. “Stop it,” He grunts quietly. “Hafta stay up.” Ghost takes a deep breath and grunts as he pushes himself to his feet, his boots booming against the wooden floor as he walks over to the area where the firewood is kept. He grabs a few of the pre-cut logs and he makes his way over to you and the fireplace, tossing the logs into the ashes, slowly refueling the dying embers. Ghost sniffles a little under his mask as he grabs a piece of paper and takes out a lighter, lighting it on fire before quickly tossing it into the fireplace to make a better fuel source. He crouches near the growing fire, taking his spot by your feet. Ghost sucks in a shuddering breath and rubs his upper arms, and he can’t help but take another glance at you. You stopped trying to get out of your warm enclosure of blankets, but your eyes were darting around the room slowly, unfocused and hazy.
Ghost’s chest clenches for a moment and he walks back over to your shivering form, and he already did it, but he presses his fingers against your lukewarm skin—nearly cold. Your eyes flutter again and then they vaguely glance in the direction that you think he’s in; which you’re almost right, but a few inches off. You try to speak but a quiet choked noise leaves you, your breathing shaky—finally from fear this time. Ghost puts his finger to his mask in a shushing motion, trying his best to keep you calm. “You’ll be alright, yeah? Gotta wait until the storm’s done brewing out there.” He attempts to reassure your delirious brain, but you can only make another “out of it” noise before your eyes flutter shut once again, you losing consciousness. Ghost feels an ugly and dreadful feeling deep in his gut, scratching at his veins, climbing them until his fingertips are cold both due to the temperature and panic. Ghost has always insisted he doesn’t panic, and he hasn’t—until now. Not until he fears the storm won’t pass over and help won’t arrive until you’re frozen and stiff under your fear, despite his desperate attempts to keep you warm—and alive. Ghost doesn’t want to admit it, but fuck, he’s terrified to fall asleep because out of the two of you, what if he’s the only one who wakes up?
Ghost’s eyelids flutter for a moment before he inhales in a sharp manner and his spine straightens up, his hands clenching together for a moment. “M’not going to fall asleep.” He mutters to himself as he takes his place next to you on the floor and holy hell, the floor is cold—so he silently scoots closer to you and wraps an arm around your body, and Ghost uses his other arm as a pillow. Your chest very slowly rises and falls, and he finds comfort in the sight of a sign of you being alive—you’re still here with him, and that’s all he needs.
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Ghost is awoken from a banging on the cabin door. He jolts ever so slightly, but he’s immediately hit with chills, his limbs trembling. Fuck, he fell asleep. His eyelids feel like sandbags and and he can’t stop fucking shaking—and he feels so heavy.. so tired. “Ghost!” A familiar voice yells outside of the cabin. His arm wraps around your form tighter when he doesn’t immediately recognize the British accent behind the door, he grunts as he clumsily sits up and pulls you closer, his trembling hand grasping as his hip, taking out his service pistol. The door opens as he attempts to aim it, his weak and low voice hissing out, “I’ll blow your fuckin’ brains out—“
“Ghost, it’s Price. We found you. Put the gun down.”
Ghost blinks slowly as he looks at the figure who slowly approaches, two others trailing behind—and it is Price—with Gaz and Soap. Ghost sharply inhaled and his arm lowers, the pistol slipping out of his grip. Gaz rushes over to him and your limp form, taking off his gloves. “We got you, Ghost. We got you.” Price assures, but his lips are pressed together as he watches Gaz. Ghost’s head rolls back for a moment, blacking out for a few seconds—Soap’s hands catching his head before it hits the floor. “They’re alive,” Gaz grunts out, leaning down to pick you up bridal style while keeping all of the layers around your body. “Barely, but we gotta get ‘em both to warmth. Now.”
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When Ghost finally comes to, the first thing he notices is the smell—it doesn’t smell like rotting and burning wood; his lungs don’t burn with every breath and he can keep his fingers. The second thing he notices is the ache within his throat and his limbs, and the third thing he notices is that he is not wearing his mask. He still feels heavy, but it’s not the kind of heavy where you want to sleep forever heavy. It’s a.. comforting heavy. Someone laying on top of him heavy. It takes him a hot second to open his eyes, and another second to adjust to the harsh lights of the hospital room—oh, wait, they’re not that bad, his head just hurts. Ghost notices someone laying their head on the bed on top of Ghost, their arms under their head as a cushion. He blinks blearily as he doesn’t register it at first; the hospital gown, two IV drips for two separate patients, and the bandages covering your fingers—it’s you. His eyes widen and he lets out a quiet noise, causing you to lift your head up immediately and look at him with the most vulnerable look you could ever have, your eyes wide and bulging like when a child doesn’t know whether to believe the adult in front of them. “Ghost?” You ask, and fuck, your throat croaks. Your vocal cords sound like they’ve been torn apart and reattached, croaking with relief and pain. He swallows thickly and he nods for a moment, unable to find his voice. Your eyes soften for a moment before you whisper to him. “Hurts to talk, huh? Me too.”
Then don’t, said his silent gaze. Yet, somehow, you manage to catch on his memo. Wordlessly, you reach up to one of his hands—covered in scars and calluses, but you don’t mind. Your hands are similar as you nervously glance at him, grabbing his wrist and turning it over so his palm faces up. Ghost eyes your movements, but makes no move to stop you. You take one of your pointer fingers—the one that isn’t bandaged—and you trace letters into his hand slowly.
T H A N K Y O U
Ghost meets your gaze, and you have tears in your eyes. His hand is grossly limp as he grabs the hand you were moving away, and he instead pulls your hand closer to his face for a closer inspection. The bandages concern him, so he looks at you again. You reach for the clipboard you left by his feet and you place it in his lap, pointing to the part of the medical report about your frostbite blisters. Ghost inhales deeply for a moment before his fingers tap against your hand—rhythmically? Oh, it’s morse code.
Ghost is tapping SAFE over and over while looking at you, to reassure himself—and you. You nod in response and offer him the smile he’s been waiting to see and you tap back to him, SAFE.
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Note
angst to fluff with carmy please? 🥹
hope you like this!
Bad Day
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genre: angst to fluff
pairing: carmen berzatto x female reader
warnings: cursing
Masterlist
------
it's not often that you're exhausted from work and the burning out usually never consumes you like this. when days like this happen, all you really want to do is to be left alone with your own thoughts, so you always stick in the office or walk around aimlessly to have some alone time first before going home. after today though, you just want to be in bed.
carmen also had a shit day at work, and usually he can come home, expect you to shower him with love and kisses to make it all better. you're so nurturing and it heals part of him, so when he comes home to a cold environment, he feels something is off.
"hey babe," he finds you in bed, scrolling endlessly on Tiktok.
"hey," you tried to sing-song it but came out flat. you didn't even look at him.
did i do something? carmen thinks to himself.
he hangs his jacket on the coat rack and plops on the bed, seeking warmth from you. "did you eat yet?"
"yeah, a while ago." you say. it's normal for you to eat first, carmen often tells you not to wait for him.
he frowns, noticing your nonchalant tone and scoots closer to you to cuddle, but you immediately scrunch into a ball and that makes it difficult for him to hug you.
carmen's frown only deepens, but he decides to let it go. "okay.. i'm gonna shower. wanna join me?"
"mm, i showered already."
carmen sighs and walks away while muttering, "that never stopped you before..."
carmen wracks his brain in the showering, wondering what he did wrong this morning because you were happy and cheerful. he did leave in a rush earlier today, didn't even have the chance to kiss you bye. maybe you're mad about that?
when carmen steps out of the shower, you're still in bed scrolling on your phone. he gets under the covers to join you, and once again tries to cuddle.
"carmen-"
"sorry i was in a rush earlier this morning," he says, kissing your shoulder.
you hum to acknowledge him and slowly remove his tight hold on you. he's actually not holding on that tight, but with your thoughts right now, it feels like a death grip.
carmen frowns again when you turn around not to face him and scoffs. "okay, what's wrong?"
"what?"
"i'm sorry i didn't have time to say bye earlier this morning, i was running late." he repeats himself, "i'm trying to make it up to you, alright?"
"what?" your turn to frown. "what are you on about?"
carmen sighs and gets up from the bed. "you've been ignoring me all night! i had a shit-terrible day at work and all i wanted to do is to come home and cuddle with you and feel better, okay? i'm sorry if that's too much to ask."
"fuck off, carmen."
"eat shit, carmen."
"get the fuck out, carmen."
that's the go-to response when you're usually in a fight with carmen. it's usually a yelling competition, or carmen being self-destructive, you being passive-aggressive or sarcastic, and it all ends with you two tired, in bed in each other's arms. but now, carmen is met with your silence, and he's really worried that he fucked up.
"did it ever occur to you that maybe i had a bad day too?"
maybe that's when carmen finally sees the dark circles under your eyes, or how you don't seem like you're able to smile. he doesn't think he's never seen you this exhausted, and he doesn't know what to do.
"do whatever you want, carmen."
you've never said that one before. his words hurt you, but you're honestly too tired to fight.
carmen isn't sure what to do. doing whatever he wants involves making you feel better, but he isn't sure he can do that at the moment. so instead, he lies back down in bed next to you and turns off the light.
------
the next morning's sunrise wakes your sleepless eyes, and you see carmen still lying down next to you. usually carmen still has work, but he told syd last night to take over so he can take care of you. well, maybe you don't need to be taken care of, but he decides he should do better and be there for you.
you slowly make your way to the kitchen to make breakfast and coffee, but carmen appears behind you and takes the coffee pot from you.
"sit down."
"i got it, carm-"
"sit. down."
you sigh and sit on the couch. you feel bad for possibly making carmen feel bad last night, but you also feel like he had it coming. he's not the only one who's allowed to have a bad day. then again... you usually don't show your bad days and deal with it on your own, so of course he wouldn't know when you're having one or how to cheer you up.
carmen sits next to you and hands you your coffee.
"thanks."
"listen," he starts. "i'm sorry, i should've paid attention to you more. i should've seen that something's wrong -- i sensed something, i just.. i don't know why i assumed you're fine when now that i think of it, you were obviously stressed out. it was selfish of me. i'm sorry."
you put your coffee down and climbed on top of him, letting him straighten both his legs on the couch while you lay between his legs, head on his chest.
"it's not your fault, carmy." you say. "i never... i didn't have anyone to rely on before you. it's not easy for me to tell you when i'm having a bad day or when i'm struggling because i'm so used to handling things on my own, and somehow i think telling you all that would make me a burden."
carmen slowly caresses your waist, kissing your forehead. "you're never a burden, and however you cope is up to you. just know that i'm always here regardless."
you look up and kiss him passionately. "thank you, carmen."
"there's that smile." he grins, kissing you again.
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vapidwritersblog · 3 months
Text
DON’T RUN FROM ME
Dark Era Dazai x Fem Mafia Reader - 4.5k
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Description: You try leaving the mafia, but Dazai won’t let you escape him.
CW: Angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, fear of death, mention of offscreen death of unnamed ocs, emotional sex, oral sex
thank you to the anon who inspired this fic by asking for more angsty dialogue and for suggesting that reader leaves the mafia!
Your chest felt hollow, and it felt like you were choking on air as you walked the uneven path before you. Both physically dark and metaphorically isolating. You’d made a choice tonight, and you weren’t sure if it had been the right one, but you were sure that it might have been, and really, that’s all we can hope for. Isn’t it?
You were materialistic to a fault - a fact you were not ashamed of. You liked nice things; clothes, shoes, skincare products. And yet, as you walked towards the cottage you’d gone through great lengths to keep secret, you had nothing but a small duffle bag slung over your shoulder. The kind of bag someone like you might carry weapons in before a long night.
Someone like you used to be, you corrected yourself. It was time to be someone different.
Relief washed over you when you ceased to feel nothing but uneven dirt and brush under your feet. You were walking on stones now, which meant you were close. This place nestled within the forest outside of Yokohama was only the first stop. You couldn’t afford risking anything longer than a couple days stay.
Leaving the Port Mafia wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t impossible.
Finally, when your feet ached you saw the tin roof shining underneath the moonlight’s gaze. Relief washed over you again.
But it was short lived.
There was a figure standing on your porch, and though you remained several yards away with only the moon serving as a flashlight, you could’ve recognized that frame in the depths of hell. Though fear gripped your heart, you found humor in the fact that one day you likely would come across his frame in the depths of hell. There was no more fitting place for either of you.
You stood staring at each other when you stopped short of the cottage’s wooden steps. Dazai looked out of place here, standing tall in his dark coat with his hands in his pockets. His calmness did not soothe you. You knew the neutral gaze he held was a facade. There was a storm brewing in his amber eyes. Betrayal, they accused you.
“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up,” he said, voice disturbingly calm. “You walk slowly in the dark, a poor quality in a mafia member, but I suppose that might be just as well since you’re leaving.”
You realized, then, that you weren’t breathing. You must’ve stopped a while ago since your lungs had begun to burn. You opened your mouth and took in what you could.
He let you stand there, catching your breath. You’d been cornered like a wild animal, and now you stood frozen like a deer in headlights. You wondered if letting you breathe now was his last act of mercy. His features were so stoic that it was terrifying. He looked like every bit of the mafia executive he was. You willed yourself not to think of it until oxygen flowed through you again. You would never catch your breath if you thought of how the man you loved might kill you tonight. Though it was unrequited and hopeless, you certainly loved him, even as you ran away. Even as you hated him.
You didn’t know if he felt the same, or if he was even capable of it. You’d only just progressed past fucking exclusively in alleyways and filthy corners of headquarters.
“You knew I’d come,” you said, once you recovered. There was no sense in asking how he’d come to know of this place’s existence. You’d always known it had been a risk.
“I did.”
You swallowed, your mouth so dry that the action was physically difficult. It would be unbecoming to beg for your life, and yet you didn’t want to die.
“Are you here to kill me?” You asked.
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“How about you come on in, I’ve taken the liberty of unlocking your hideaway for you.”
The words smelled sour, and you wondered how bitter they’d tasted on his lips. It was the first time you’d witnessed emotion from him since you’d arrived.
You followed him in slowly, knowing you could be marching to your death. Death would be standard for sneaking away from the mafia in the dead of night after promising to devote your life to the organization. You wondered how he’d do it. Would he choke you with the elegant, nimble fingers that had been your undoing so many times in the past? Would it start as it usually did, his hard cock against your waist? Only, instead of choking leading to fucking, would he continue to squeeze your throat, eyes on yours until you collapsed?
This cottage had once been a refuge for you, but it felt stifling as you stood feet away from Dazai, both waiting for the other to begin.
“I had to leave, Dazai.” The words sounded weak as they left your mouth, but it was the truth. Wasn’t it?
Dazai chuckled darkly. “You did not. You didn’t have to do anything but your job.”
“And what is my job, Dazai?” You spit out. Remembering why you were both here. Remembering how you’d been betrayed. “You’re the reason I joined the mafia in the first place,” you accused him angrily. “You appeared in the dead of night like a demon, and told me I might as well put my skills to better use, right?”
At his silence, you dared to continue, stepping towards him. “And how is this better, exactly? Is the money supposed to make everything worth it? Is it the camaraderie? I had that before. I had people before.”
Dazai scoffed. “You had a small time group of rag tag criminals who leeched off of your ability.”
Tears welled in your eyes as you thought of their faces, the youngest of them only sixteen. “They cared about me,” you insisted, your voice sounding strangled.
Dazai scoffed.
‘They didn’t care about you, not like I do,’ were the words you could see in his eyes if you looked past the anger that clouded them.
Instead of revealing himself, he glared at you. “If they cared about you, why did they stop speaking to you once you joined us?” He asked. “We never monitored your communications. We don’t do that to members we trust,” he spat.
‘We don’t do that to members I vouch for. To people I trust.’
You shifted uncomfortably, body feeling too heavy for your feet. “How would you know that if you weren’t spying on me?” You bit back. It’s not as if you told each other everything. It’s not as if you were dating. You couldn’t even call yourself his lover.
The smirk forming on his face was menacing. “Because it took you months to even find out they were dead.” He laughed. He was being mean now, but he was right. You’d only found out by chance that your old gang was dead. You’d been in one of the storage rooms, doing research for an upcoming mission that Mori assigned you when you came across the file which held their names, “Deceased,” scrawled next to each one.
Dazai was uncharacteristically patient as he waited for you to choose your next words. His hands remained in his pockets as he leaned against the wooden wall of your cottage’s tiny living room. To an outsider, he might look casual. But you knew he could kill you at a moment’s notice.
“I cared about them,” you finally whispered as tears formed in your eyes. You willed yourself not to look away from him as you blinked away the wet heat threatening to spill. Dazai had never seen you look weak before. You wondered, briefly, if it disgusted him. But he surprised you, as he so often did. He didn’t comfort you by coming closer and putting an arm around you, but there was a softness in his eyes that had not been there before. It was something you’d never seen, and you felt your heart learch, threatening to break even further at the sight.
“It wasn’t planned,” he finally said. “Mori didn’t plan it. I didn’t plan it.” You could tell he wanted you to believe him, was desperate for you to, but you couldn’t.
You furrowed your brows in confusion as you thought about the bits of information you’d learned yesterday when you’d come across the file which named the six people you’d once loved like family as dead. You thought of their faces and heard their laughs as you let the information sink in. They’d been killed by the Black Lizard two months prior at one of the warehouses you’d never been to. You wondered how long they’d been tortured there. You wondered why it happened at all. You’d been a small time group when Dazai found you and promised you the world. You’d left them, and let them hate you for it all because you’d been greedy. All because you wanted to follow Dazai whose eyes sparkled. He’d challenged you. He was better than you. At the time, it had been so rare to meet someone better than you.
“They were killed at one of the warehouses. I’ve seen it countless times now, Dazai. They were tortured and then killed. They were small time. It was cruel,” you insisted, voice growing firm again.
“It was an inventory warehouse,” he explained, though he still leaned against the wall and made no move to close the distance, you would’ve seen his fingers twitch had they not been stuffed into the pockets of his trench coat. “It had been an attempted raid.”
Your lips parted as your entire body went stiff. A raid? A direct hit to the Port Mafia? They wouldn’t have been so stupid.
“You’re lying to me,” you accused him. “You’re lying to me because you don’t want me to leave.” You were furious now. How pathetic could he get, lying to you like this? “Did you order the hit? What, were you scared I’d go back?”
It was you closing in on him now, stepping out from the shadows of the darkened living room, stalking towards the wall he leaned against lazily. You didn’t want to die, but you’d rather him kill you then lie to you.
He made no indication that he feared you as you closed in on him, you felt your ability rising within you. The power humming as it extended from the pores of your body. You had the ability to release a toxic gas which put people to sleep. You’d been indispensable to your gang of ungifted misfits. You’d abandoned them.
You’d known the gas would stop before it reached him. Even if he wanted to die by your hands, even if he felt he deserved it as he was forced to soak in the sheer pain in your gaze, No Longer Human was automatic, always protecting him.
You felt useless, tears finally breaking free. You wanted to strangle him, but the thought of losing another person you loved made your chest ache and weigh heavy on your body.
You were face to face now, frozen as you fell apart in front of him. “They wouldn’t have been so careless,” you insisted through your tears, fighting back a hiccup. God, you must look pathetic.
“They were,” Dazai assured you. “They aimed to steal guns we’d just received. They’d been casing out the warehouse for a week. We found photographs on one of their phones.”
You took a shark breath. “How long have you known?” You asked him, as you stared at the ground, tears flowing slower. But you still couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes any longer.
“I’ve known since the day after.”
You began trembling, and stumbled backwards, overwhelmed by the need to get away from him. Your fall was broken by the old, worn down paisley couch, which had been in this living room since you’d been a child.
“You’ve known for two months and you didn’t tell me?” You asked weakly, as you sat down, staring at the wood paneled wall in front of you.
Dazai didn’t respond, and for a few moments you only heard your panting breath. Your eyes had run dry now as you processed everything. The betrayal from your former allies, and then the continuous betrayal from the only man you’d trusted since you’d abandoned your friends in search of something more. In search of him. Wherever he’d take you, you’d wanted to follow.
You felt the couch dip beside you, and you allowed yourself to look at him once more. He looked sad. You hated the way the emotions twisted his features.
“I didn’t know how to tell you,” he admitted. “It weighed heavily on me.”
You swallowed, having finally produced some spit to soothe your dry, scratchy throat.
“Would it have made it better?” He asked. “If I had told you sooner?”
You thought about it for a moment. The betrayal of your friends, the ones you’d always hoped to make amends with once their anger faded like you’d thought it would, would’ve hurt just the same. But, that wasn’t the only thing breaking your heart right now.
You nodded your head. “It would’ve been better,” you supplied. “Coming from you.”
Dazai hummed in response. “Then, I’m sorry.”
You both sat in silence for what felt like hours. It might’ve been. The clock in this living room had been broken for nearly a decade.
“What does it depend on?” You asked him, finally breaking the silence you’d fallen into.
“Hmm?” Dazai asked, shifting to face you on the couch.
“My death,” you reminded him. “What does it depend on?”
“Are you coming back with me?”
You paused again, thinking. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go,” you said eventually.
“Where were you going to go before?”
“Australia, to start,” you said. “I‘ve always wanted to go.”
“You never mentioned it,” he thought out loud.
You nodded your head. “We don’t really talk much about things like that.”
You weren’t sure what you expected Dazai to say, but it certainly wasn’t, “We could try.”
You whipped your head towards him, confusion clear on your features. “What?”
“We could talk about things like that, if you wanted,” Dazai repeated. As if it wasn’t the strangest thing he’d ever said. “I wouldn’t mind talking about what you like and the places you’d like to go.”
“Would you tell me?” You asked him, feeling a pathetic gooey feeling replacing the ache in your chest. “Would you tell me about the things you liked and the places you want to go?”
He nodded and smiled. A real smile. A gorgeous smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I would.”
Without realizing it, your body had begun leaning into his, as if you were both magnets. It was pathetic really, that you’d ever thought you could leave him behind.
When he kissed you, it was different, hesitant. He wasn’t trying to claim you like he usually did. As his tongue slipped slowly into your mouth, it felt like he was trying to remember you, savor you even. You moaned into his mouth at the thought.
His hands tightened around your waist possessively, as if he were scared you might run away. You let your hands wander to his hair, something you almost never did. It had felt too intimate, but he groaned when you tugged on his dark brown locks.
He pulled away after he sucked gently on your lips and just… stared at you. At first, you wanted to shy away from the action. This was all so unlike him. It was so unlike you, but you forced yourself to look at him as he looked at you, and his eyes looked desperate. Something they never had before.
‘Stay,’ they seemed to beg you.
“I have a bedroom here,” you told him. “It’s probably dusty.”
He smirked at you, finally looking like himself again.
“We’ve had worse,” he said.
He followed you through the narrow, short hallway of your one bedroom cottage into a room you hadn’t visited in far too long. It was, of course, covered in dust. You moved to open a window after you’d switched on the light, but his arms wrapped around you from behind.
“Take off your clothes,” he whispered into your ear as he nuzzled against you. You sighed and leaned into him, savoring intimacy you never got to share. You wondered if he’d ever show you this side of him again. You hoped he would, but even saying he would actually talk to you should be enough.
You turned around slowly, wanting him to take in the sight of you as you pulled your shirt over your head. He swallowed as you unclasped your bra, eyes not leaving your breasts as it fell to the floor.
“The rest,” he demanded, gentler than usual. You felt hypnotized by the softness of his voice as you unzipped your pants and shook off your underwear.
You stood there, naked, feeling far too exposed as he stared at you.
“Well?” You asked, voice uncharacteristically shaky.
“I can’t believe you tried taking this away from me.”
His voice sounded raw, and you drew a sharp breath at the implication. “I’m sorry,” you said, realizing it was the first time you’d said it. You began walking towards him slowly, as if he might back away.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered it this time, once your face was a breath away from his.
“Show me,” he whispered back. “Show me how sorry you are.”
You dropped to your knees and unclasped his belt. He started shaking off his jacket and his shirt as you unzipped his pants. He rarely got this naked for you, and you took the time to acknowledge him. Even bandaged, he was gorgeous. The words died on the tip of your tongue, like so many other had before. Three in particular.
You licked him slowly, from his base to the tip of his cock and kissed the head. You looked into his eyes, which were lidded with desire, but still so soft.
You took him into your mouth, slowly easing your head further until you’d taken all that you could, and he moaned as he hardened inside of you.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “You’re being so good for me.”
You felt warmth spreading in your chest at the praise. You wanted to be good for him. You never wanted to hurt him again. You couldn’t tell him that, atleast not now. So you settled for giving him the best head of his life.
You moved expertly up and down his cock, covering it in spit and licking the shaft as you moved. When you paired your mouth with your hands where your mouth couldn’t reach, you relished in the feral, guttural sound that escaped his lips.
“Fuck,” he whispered the words as he cocked his head back but restrained himself from bucking his hips, almost as if he was scared to break your trance.
You kept up your ministrations for a couple more minutes, until he gently grabbed your hair and pulled you off him. You whined, confused, and he chuckled.
“I don’t want to cum in your mouth tonight, princess,” he said as he pulled you up from the ground, your thighs feeling wobbly. He dipped his finger into your slick folds. “Always so wet for me,” he taunted you. Your mind had turned to mush, and you let him lead you to the bed like you were a zombie.
His fingertips stroked your cheek softly once he laid you out on the bed, and you nuzzled into his hand, drunk on his sweetness. Again, you felt three words die on the tip of your tongue, wondering if he’d known already. Wishing that he might feel the same. Just as quickly as his fingers had left your pussy, they returned. He started with one, circling inside of you before he paired it with another, watching you like you were his prey as you arched your back and whined for him when he began stroking against your g-spot.
“Please,” you begged. “Please kiss me.”
You watched his eyes widen in surprise, and you wondered if you’d made a mistake, begging for something so much more intimate than the spankings, and quick fucks you were used to, but his lips captured yours before you could doubt yourself too much.
This kiss was soft in a different, hungrier way than the hesitancy he’d moved with earlier. His tongue slipped into your mouth greedily, but he let you meet him halfway, still shirking his usual dominance. With your eyes closed, you melted into him fully, feeling like you were floating. When he pulled away, you were panting, lips parted and swollen.
The tip of his index finger traced circles around your collar bone, and you arched your back, hoping for some friction.
“Do you need something?” Dazai asked, because he couldn’t just give you what you wanted, even if he was being sweeter today.
You nodded your head. “You,” you whispered before you leaned up to suck his neck gently, licking your way up to his jaw. “Fuck me, Osamu.”
One hand grabbed your wrists and lifted them above your head, he held them there as he slid his cock into you slowly as you mewled for him.
“Thank you, thank you,” you moaned as your soft walls clenched around him.
He let go of your wrists to take hold of your waist, pulling your body into his until your face was tucked into his chest. You had to turn your head so you could breathe, not wanting to pull away from him.
“Fuck,” you curled your toes moaned as he started fucking you in earnest. You saw white when you closed your eyes, clenching around him as hard as you could, wanting to feel as full as possible. It wasn’t hard to accomplish with his thick, long length inside you. It was pure ecstasy, being taken like this by Dazai.
“You like that?” he asked, and you nodded your head as much as you could against him. He pulled away just enough that he could see your face. “I didn’t hear you,” he tsked. His taunting words were spoken so softly in contrast to his thrusts, which were growing harsher.
“I love it so much,” you whined before you mustered all the strength you could to kiss his shoulder. “Feels so good.”
“Lay back down for me,” he instructed. You wanted to protest, but there was no room for dissent in his eyes, so you loosed the grip your legs had around his waist and laid back down properly against the bed, whining when he pulled out of you.
“Stop whining,” he hissed as his finger went to stroke your clit.
“S-sorry,” you apologized as you willed yourself not to buck up into his hand. He slid back into you slowly, and the angle was different than he had ever done. He pulled your legs up above his hips and angled his body at a slant as he positioned himself forward until his face was parallel to yours. The position was so intimate, you wanted to turn away to escape from his gaze, but his cock inside you was paralyzing.
Slowly, he started moving his hips and his dick shifted in a circle inside of you. Your walls spasmed as you were completely filled, feeling him everywhere. The first time his pelvis rubbed your clit you jumped underneath him.
“Just relax, and take it,” he whispered. You nodded your head dumbly and let the pleasure consume you. Your legs shook as his cock continued moving in a circular motion inside of you, his pelvis stimulating your clit in a way you hadn’t known was possible. One of his hands started playing with your nipples, pinching them just how you liked while the other held you in place by your waist. Your body kept trying to move, to buck into his, but his firm grip held you down.
The tip of his cock pushed against your cervix with each circular pump, and your walls couldn’t stop tightening around him. Pleasure zipped through you from your clit to your core as you lost control of your body and gave in.
“Fuck,” he growled. “Tell me how much you like this.”
“It’s so fucking good,” you moaned. “Never - never felt so good.” And it was true, just a few seconds later you felt yourself cumming harder than you knew was possible. Your legs shook uselessly and your walls kept spasming, it was endless. Had you not been having the strongest orgasm of your life, you would’ve had the presence of mind to be embarrassed by the guttural, bordering anamalistic sounds you released. The pressure on your clit sent waves of pleasure through your entire body all while his cock hit your g-spot repeatedly. It felt like he was everywhere. You were so completely and overwhelmingly consumed by him.
He didn’t stop, even as he admired you. Your pupils were blown wide, and your face was frozen in an O so perfect he would’ve thought you were faking it had your walls not still been spasming around his entire length.
“Fuck, are you still cumming?” He teased you, knowing you were too far gone to respond to him. You weren’t sure if you’d been orgasming repeatedly or if you were experiencing one long, endless orgasm at his hands. Your entire body still shook, and your clit was aching. For more? For less? You had no idea.
“ ‘m gonna cum inside you,” Dazai growled out, as he began fucking you regularly now, thrusting in and out, giving your poor pussy a break from the endless and overwhelming pleasure the circles had brought you. Your blood started circulating again, and you were able to blink, feeling how dry your eyes had become from being paralyzed on his cock.
“Cum for me,” you breathed out, using all the energy you had left. “Please.”
That was all it took for Dazai to spill inside you. Your walls felt so good soaked in him.
He collapsed beside you, pulling you into him as you both caught your breath. His chest was sticky with sweat, and you realized how much of a workout that has been for him. After several minutes passed you were beginning to feel like a person again and you asked, “What was that?”
“Something new I wanted to try,” Dazai hummed. Fingers circling your back. “You were so sexy, it was like you were cock drunk.” He chuckled.
For once, you didn’t have the energy to scoff. Instead, you fell asleep on his chest. You knew he wouldn’t be there when you woke up, just like you knew he might not ever be this soft with you again. He’d promised you a bit more of himself tonight, and that alone was more than you’d ever thought to ask of him.
Dazai released a breath he’d been holding for ages as he stroked your hair. You looked so soft when you were sleeping. Much more innocent than the dangerous woman he’d roped into this world. He yearned to tell you how he felt about you, but knew it would be cruel for him to do so.
One thing was certain. He never wanted to be without you again.
if you enjoyed this, check out my masterlist :)
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leighsartworks216 · 4 months
Text
Migraine Pain
Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
Wrote this for me bc I have a migraine rn and I want Astarion to act as my personal cold pack. Beginning of Astarion's dialogue taken from the vid Neil did of an Astarion wake up call lol
Not proofread bc brain hurts
Warnings: migraine descriptions, pain, light angst if you squint, swearing, OOC Shadowheart
Word Count: 1,839
Main Masterlist
First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
The two knocks at the door split your skull. Each one like an iron spike hammered into your temples. All you could do was hide deeper under the covers, hoping they would muffle the sound enough to stop hurting.
“Darling, get up,” Astarion called through the wood. Two more knocks accentuated his annoyance. He groaned when he didn’t hear any movement. “Get the fuck up!”
You wished you could tell him what was going on - really you did. But the slightest twitch from your tadpole was enough to have you wishing for death. Hells, you’d make a deal with Raphael with unbalanced terms just so it would go away! Instead, all you could do was wait it out. It would be a long wait indeed.
With another irritated sigh, you could hear the familiar scrape of his lockpicking tools working at the lock. Even the quiet metal-on-metal grated right against your eardrums. Fortunately, he was exceptionally skilled, because with a click the door was swinging open.
He rolled his eyes when he saw the lump of your body underneath the blankets. “My gods, you’re so lazy. Just like Gale.” His footsteps, even as an elven rogue, were too damn loud. You pressed your nose into the mattress, willing the thumping pulse in your head to stop. It thudded behind your eyes with each step.
In one swift motion, the blankets that provided the small mercy of darkness were whipped off of you. You curled as tightly into yourself as possible, covering your head with your arms to block out the sunlight streaming into your room. Astarion scoffed.
“Get out of bed and get up!” He gestured to the window. Even though you couldn’t see it, you could hear the rustling of his shirt. “It’s the morning. Listen, I might be a vampire that’s been away from the sun for 200 years, and I can actually now walk in it thanks to a tadpole that’s induced my mind,” he rambled, before huffing indignantly, “but even I don’t rest in!”
Now was the worst time for his dramatics. You usually adored how sassy and silly he could be, but now it just drove a stake through your brain. Even the Absolute couldn’t cause a pain this agonizing.
You whimpered, reaching out with one arm to swat him away. You missed. “Please, stop,” you whined. “Head hurts.”
He clicked his tongue. “Nothing the cleric can’t fix. C’mon, she can do whatever it is she does on our way out of here.”
You shook your head slowly, burying your face further and further into the bed. Gods, why did it have to hurt so fucking bad? Your chest tightened as the burn of tears stung at your eyes. Even crying hurt. Your body trembled and shook, your hands tangling into your hair to press at your affliction, as choked sobs suffocated you. Each gasp for air felt like a vice gripping your brain.
“Darling?” Astarion spoke, much softer. You couldn’t answer. He sighed softly, no longer annoyed. Well, a little annoyed. He dragged the blankets back up to your shoulders. “I’ll get Shadowheart.”
His footsteps were much lighter as he rushed out of your room. Was… this the work of the tadpoles? But wouldn’t they be affected, too? Ugh, why couldn’t anything be simple in this damn group of weirdos?
Shadowheart rushed in a moment later, remembering to keep her steps light halfway to you. She knelt down, frowning at the sight of the group’s leader so shaken. “Is it a migraine?” she whispered.
A sharp pain bolted through your temples as you nodded. You whimpered.
She sighed quietly. There was nothing her magic could do; migraines weren’t something she could just heal. “I’ll tell the others and whip up some tea, alright?”
She didn’t wait for your answer and set to work closing the curtains over the windows. Astarion frowned, missing the golden light already. “What’s wrong with them?”
Shadowheart put a finger over her lips with a glare. He scowled, but didn’t say anything. She only spoke when she was right next to him in the doorway. “They have a migraine. They’re extremely sensitive to light and sound right now.”
“Can’t you do something?” He glared impatiently at her, crossing his arms.
“There’s nothing for it. All we can do is wait. I suggest getting comfortable - we’re not leaving today.” She slipped past him, back down the stairs to the rest of your anxious companions.
He tapped his arm as he watched the lump under the blankets shift slowly as you finally uncovered your head. Baldur’s Gate was so close. Cazador was so close. They couldn’t deal with these delays when he was so damn close to being honestly, truly free.
He hadn’t moved from his post by the door when Shadowheart returned with a steaming cup of tea. She placed it carefully on your bedside table. “Drink this,” she whispered. “It should help with the pain.”
You nodded slightly, wiping at your face. She offered a little sympathetic smile. She gave Astarion a stern look as she passed. “Don’t try taking a nibble, vampire.”
He forced a sweet smile. “Offering yourself up instead?”
She scoffed, scrunching her nose up at the mere thought. “They need rest. And you leering over them isn’t going to help.” She left once more, with a last cursory glance over her shoulder to see if he’d leave.
Once she was out of sight, Astarion stepped into the room, softly closing the door behind him. His feet barely made a sound as he found his way back to your side. At least you weren’t curled up into a little ball anymore. Or crying. Small mercies, he supposed. He had no idea how to deal with someone being sick, let alone someone crying.
You looked at the cup on the table. Liquid salvation. The real trick was being able to drink it.
With a deep breath, you forced yourself to sit up, wincing and whimpering with every jerky motion. He was honestly shocked you didn’t jump when he grabbed your arm to help, but perhaps you really were that out of it. Or you knew he was there. Either way, you thank him in the smallest, most pathetic voice he’s ever heard.
Comfortably propped up on a stack of pillows against the headboard, you reached over to try grabbing the cup. He caught your hand just before you knocked the cup over.
“Careful, darling,” he chastised quietly. With a put-out sigh, he sat down at the edge of the bed and picked up the cup. He brought the rim to your lips. “Since you’re so incapable…”
You carefully took a sip. Your whole face relaxed at the warmth, and the soothing herbs mixed in. It wouldn’t be an immediate remedy, but it was a very pleasant one. After you eagerly drained half the cup, he set it back on the table. You sighed with relief, content in the knowledge even a single percentile of your pain could be eased away.
“You don’t have to stay,” you mumbled, watching him through squinted eyes. Even the dimness of the room was too bright for you.
He rolled his eyes playfully. “Least I could do after such a rude awakening.”
You chuckled, but the sound was cut short with a strong wince. You sat there for a moment, face pinched and brow tight as you waited for the sting to pass. Once it did, your face softened once more.
“How bad is it?”
“Like Dwarves are taking pickaxes to my temples in search of gold.” You took a breath. “And like an ogre is sitting on my head.”
He huffed a laugh. “Not much I can do to help with that, love.”
You hummed, shaking your head ever so slightly. You didn’t want to go jostling the miners when they were so damned hard at work.
With a small gesture toward the cup, Astarion helped you finish off the last half of the tea. A small dribble fell from the corner of your mouth down your chin. He caught it with his thumb quickly, the knuckles of his closed hand brushing your cheek. You leaned into the touch immediately, without even thinking about it. You sighed with relief.
“You’re cold.”
“Mm. Comes with being undead.” He set the cup aside, but allowed his hand to linger. In fact, he opened it up so he cupped your cheek with his palm. A sharp chill raced down your spine, but you didn’t pull away.
It was curious, how easily you placed yourself in his care. Watching as your eyes shut in easy tranquility as you indulged in the coolness of his hand, how relaxed you became - it surprised him. You always found new ways to amaze him.
Slowly, not wishing to jostle you, he moved to press his hand to your temple. If he thought you were relaxed before, this was utter bliss. “Gods, don’t stop,” you begged.
He glanced at the door, half expecting Shadowheart to burst in and yell at him for disturbing you. But nothing happened. Still, it would be better to avoid being told off. He pulled away, but kept a hand on your arm. “Lay down, dove.”
Whether out of desperation to have him acting as a cold compress once more or just to take the pressure off your brain, you complied in a heartbeat. Slowly, you shimmied back down into the covers, head situated on a pillow once more.
Astarion thought for a moment. Did he really want to keep sitting here, back tiring out, arms reaching for hours? You whined, placing a hand over his on your arm, asking without words for relief. He hushed you.
As quickly as he could without shaking the bed, he stood, rounded it, and slipped in under the covers beside you. You gravitated toward him immediately, even as you winced. Head on his chest, arms clinging to him like a babe holding onto its mother, you relaxed into the natural chill he offered. He rested a hand back on your cheek, but slid the other to the back of your neck. That was the sweet spot, it seemed; you practically melted in his arms.
It wasn’t long before you were fast asleep, lulled into peace with the aid of the tea. He stared at the dark curtains blocking out the sun. One more day couldn’t hurt, surely. Not that they really had a choice, but…
You stirred in your sleep, turning your head to press your nose further into the ruffles of his shirt. Like this - bags under your eyes, hair a mess, a bit pallid - he was sure. He would Ascend. You’d never have to suffer like this again. Neither of you would. He’d be the most powerful man in the lands, with you at his side. Never again would he have to live in fear, bound in chains to someone else.
He sighed and rested his cheek lightly on your head. Gods. Just a few days now.
---
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cafeacademia · 10 months
Text
𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐲
𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐱 𝐒𝐡𝐲!���𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 || 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘
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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Jason comes back from his patrol and finds you desperate for him, only he's just as desperate to find himself after a hard night of being Red Hood and the best way for him to do that is with his favourite girl.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: Smut, oral (fem rec), rope bondage, suit kink - Jay wears his domino mask under his helmet, overstimulation, about 3 billion terms of endearment, some?? size kink if you squint, some roughness, dom/sub dynamic - Jason is a soft dom in this, Reader uses a vibrator at the beginning, sex at the end. I think that's everything but lmk if I missed anything!
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: Approx 2.5k
𝐌𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 | 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is my first ever Jason fic!! I'm?? Very nervous? I hope this is good? Honestly I'm releasing this into the void and then running away. Please enjoy I had a lot of fun writing this 😌 thank you my lovely friend @that-sokovian-bastard for the encouragement and for reading all of the snippets I sent you.
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He touched you with fingertips that had gripped the edges of death. His skin, marred, tortured, tattooed; brushed against yours. He touched you with the hands that had delivered the veil of death, and yet he was so gentle. His gaze, while intense, difficult to read, was soft on your eyes. Jason was a dichotomy. He breathed vigilantism, he bathed in the shadow of his brother, he made himself the fear of the vile. A man of justice defined by sin.
He never pretended to be perfect. At night he was the Red Hood. Protector, ally to the good, with his edge of sarcasm and pit of anger against the depravity that festered in the alleys and underworlds of Gotham. And the rest of the time, he was just Jason.
Just Jason, who loved you, who helped you with everything, who made you feel loved. Just Jason, who fucked you deep into the mattress, barely out of his Red Hood suit, helmet discarded, gloved hand pressed around your throat as he grunted your name to you like a prayer, a promise, a devotion.
He’d found you that night up late waiting for him, spread out on the bed, heat clinging to you as you cried and tried, tried so hard to reach your euphoria. He’d watched you for a moment, tears in your eyes as you edged yourself with your vibrator, but the only thing your toy was doing was making you sensitive, bringing a burning ache to your clit. You needed more, and more was delivered, his low husky voice gracing your ears.
“You poor little thing,” His voice deep, warning, an edge of sweetness. “Jay-.” So breathy, so desperate as you clung to the sheets, the grip of your delicate fingers around your vibrator so hard he could see how tense you were. “How long have you been like this for, baby? An hour? Two?” He asked, voice almost sympathetic as he leaned against the doorframe, helmet in his hands as he eyed you, domino mask still framing his gaze. “Since- since you… Left.” You could barely get the words out, gasping as your vibrator struggled to bring you even close to the edge. “My poor baby, you can’t let go without me, can you?” His voice was teasing, almost mean but the way he spoke down to you almost made you more desperate. He approached you, slowly stalking closer to the bed, placing his helmet on the nightstand. He saw the glistening tears in the corner of your eye, pout wobbling as you edged yourself torturously and all you wanted was to orgasm, but you couldn’t. “Are you crying, sweetheart? Let me take care of you.”
Jason, who forced you to stay still with the vibrator still on your clit as he tied you up. Jason, who had no patience and yet he was slow, meticulous with the knots that he decorated and adorned your skin with.
“You want this, baby? Want me to make you forget everything? You know what it means, don’t you?” He asked, voice deceptively soft. You nodded, but it wasn’t enough for him. Jason needed words, needed your spoken promise, breathy and soft on your lips. “Words, baby.” His words brushed against your sensitive clit, a whine escaping you as you ached, throbbed for his attention. “I know… what it means.” You nodded, voice barely above a whisper, confirmation that you knew he wouldn’t stop once he started. Your pleasure was his pleasure and he basked in it.
“Good girl.” He spoke the words in a grunt as he indulged himself in you, tortured you with his tongue, sucking your poor abused clit between his lips. The overstimulation was almost unbearable, but in the best way. His gloves pressed against your hips, holding you down, your legs tied to perfectly expose your soaking, desperate pussy to him. Precious whines, whispers of his name passed your lips as he bathed your clit in unrivalled attention. Jason loved the way you pulsed against his tongue, so overworked, so desperate that you could barely take the rugged strokes and flicks he gave you.
“Let me have it, baby.” His voice was harsh as he spoke, desperate for more. He needed to feel your release on his tongue again, again, again. Jason needed to hear his name on your lips, needed to watch you squirm as you took the pleasure. He brought you closer and closer, tongue stroking you with need. He felt you tense beneath him, your breath hitching as you reached the edge, the way your fingers gripped at nothing as your orgasm tipped over the edge. You cried out, gasping, moaning as he worked you through your high, bringing you back down with the gentle caress of his tongue.
“There you go, little one.” He spoke deep and soft as he used his thumb to gently soothe over your pulsing clit, the bud aching with pleasure, thrumming with intense overstimulation and it felt so good. You think he’s done, his chin and lips covered in your glistening release. He keeps his gaze on yours, eyes dark and heavy lidded as he brings his gloved hand up to his lips, teeth biting into the leather and pulling his hand out. Throwing his glove to the side, his fingers gently tease at your entrance and you let a soft gasp out as he gently pushes his fingers into you, tongue meeting with your overworked clit and he hums with satisfaction when he hears you let out a strangled moan at the intense feeling.
“You can take it, can’t you, sweetheart?” He asked gently, breath teasing your poor, swollen clit. “I can, I can take it Jay.” You nod. You’re a good girl, you can take it like a good girl, you know you can and you whine as you’re consumed by the pleasurable haze. It’s too much, but not enough all at the same time. It’s so sensitive, but so addictive, you can’t let him stop. You don’t want him to stop as he takes you between his lips again, fingers fucking deep into your cunt, calloused fingertips brushing your spot, stroking you closer and closer with each pass.
You had spent hours fighting for a release, but now the tension built and receded with each orgasm, with each stroke of his tongue on your clit. Jason worked you relentlessly, stopping to gently capture your sensitive bud between his lips and suck, hard. It almost hurt, it almost felt unbearable, but the beautiful noises it roused from deep within your chest only encouraged him as you fought against your bonds for purchase more than release. “That’s a good girl, taking everything I give you.” He groaned, pausing the torture only to continue, his eyes meeting yours, domino mask framing his eyes beautifully, hair messy from being freed from his helmet.
He traps you there, the rope biting deliciously into your skin as you jolt with every pass of his tongue, fingers fucking you relentlessly. Your senses are overwhelmed with Jason. His scent, his touch, his voice, he’s everywhere, he clouds your mind, the haze overtaking you, sending you into a blissful myriad of stars, only half aware, your attention only on the way he pulls you closer to another orgasm, coaxing you gently until you reach it, so so desperate.
Jason swipes over your soft bud, fingers pumping so hard you’re barely seeing straight and with a moan-turned-scream, you find another release. Your breath is hot, it’s ragged as he laps at you gently, letting out a satisfied hum, but it’s not enough. “One more.” Jason gently thumbs your poor abused clit, body trembling as the overstimulation washes through you again. “I can’t.” You gasp. But you can. “You’re doing so good, little one, take one more for me and then I’ll fuck you, I promise.” Jason speaks lowly, the lower octave sending a thrill down your spine. There was something so sinful about Jason looking up at you from between your thighs, lips glistening with your release, eyes dark behind his domino mask, his Red Hood suit still on him as he tormented you. It was his voice, the way he spoke to you in such a sweet way as he ruined you, words falling from his lips, warm and smooth like honey, like ambrosia.
“One more, baby?” He prompted. “One more.” You nodded obediently, lost completely in the euphoria he had blessed you with, voice shaky and closer to a moan than words. “That’s my girl.” Jason hummed, pleased that you, like usual, were his good girl and you did everything he asked you to.
He soothed his gloved thumb over your pretty, aching little bud as he fucked you with his bare fingers. Jason might have made you promise to have one more orgasm, but he never promised he’d give it to you as quickly as the previous ones. The leather of his glove rubbed excruciatingly slowly over your hypersensitive skin and Jason revelled in the gasps and the way you trembled and jolted with each slight touch. “You poor thing, neglected for hours and now look at you, you’re taking it so well.” He was rambling, he was high on your pleasure and you knew he’d be reluctant to let you orgasm so soon. He’d keep you right where he wanted you until he was ready to lead you, tumbling into your meridian high.
Jason edged you slowly, languid movements seized you with pleasure and you thanked the heavy constraint of the ropes around you, holding you down, giving you purchase. The rope hugged you, enveloped your body, mimicked and extended the strength, protection and warmth Jason poured into the way he embraced you. You were trapped in your haze, bathed in ecstasy as you felt him circle your clit over and over, fucking into your slit, fingers hooked and stroking you closer and closer, back arching at the pleasure, breath ragged and uneven as you slipped further into your haze.
“Please, Jay.” The pleading had tumbled from your lips and you were barely aware that you’d even spoken the words in your daze. “Please what, baby?” He asked softly, voice teasingly sweet, almost mean as he coaxed you closer but not close enough. “Please, wanna cum.” You begged, breathy and barely discernible between your gasps and sweet, soft moans. “You asked so nicely, sweetheart. Been so good.” He spoke, gentle words contrasting his voice, rough and deep, tone rugged and steeped in lust. “Stay still and I’ll let you.”
With his words you obeyed, submitting to his promise and you sank into the embrace of your rope bindings as his tongue met your throbbing bud. He didn’t even need to give you long, quick flicks, the barest touch bringing you to the edge as he lightly soothed your aching clit with the tip of his tongue. You came with a gasp, the orgasm surging through you like flames, licking at your insides, flushing you hot with desire, relief, euphoria.
“There you go,” He hummed against you, gently helping you down from your high, craving more but knowing he had to keep his promise. Another night he would hold you here and satisfy the soft, pretty bud between your thighs for hours, but tonight he’d promised to fuck you and he would give you everything you asked for tenfold. “So pretty when you let go.”
“Relax for me, gonna give you everything you want, baby.” He was the perfect contrast, a man of duality. He could be possessive, rough and give it to you with aggressive thrusts and a grip that could bruise, but Jason could also be sweet and gentle and he could do both all at the same time. He knew you loved to be told what to do, you loved being his good girl and Jason loved that you were so willing to do everything he told you to do.
“Please, Jay.” You begged, voice soft, sweet, innocent and Jason groaned at the sound of you. “M’right here, my needy girl.” His voice raspy, dangerous even as he freed his cock from his suit. “Look at me, need you to look at me.” He told you and you obeyed easily, eyes meeting his as he slowly pushed into your soaked pussy. The gasp turned moan that left your lips was music to his ears and he grunted with relief as he allowed himself to sink into you until he filled you completely.
“Look at you, taking me so well.” His words came out in a grunt as he struggled not to lose composure. He held back his need to be rough, to let out the adrenaline of the night, but the way you moaned as he released the rope around you, pulling the cord from your skin, its roughness a contrast in of itself, soft in its caress as it brushed your skin, allowing you to finally touch him. You pulled him in, clawed at him, a silent plea for more and Jason couldn’t resist.
“Jay, please.” Your voice was soft, sweet and it was all he needed to convince himself to lean into his desires and give you what you wanted. His features, hardened and bold, were washed with pleasure and warmth as he took you. Reaching up as he thrust into you, rising breathy, pretty moans from you, you pulled his domino mask off him, looking into his eyes as he claimed you. “Wanted to see me?” He asked, voice gruff and heavy, backed with the sound of skin on skin. You nodded, a soft pout on your lips. “Needed to see you.”
His gaze connected with yours, warm and loving as you moved in tandem, his fingers dipping against the skin of your thighs, holding you perfectly. Jason Todd was many things, but your hidden facet of him, deep beneath everything else, he showed you his genuine kindness, his unfiltered love, vulnerability, his affection beyond the flirting and possessive touches.
Jason’s desperate movements became more controlled, more intentional and he made love to you, taking you as his, giving himself to you. After a night of patrolling, of playing as Gotham’s protector, a shadow bathed in red and black, Jason sank into you, clutching at the need to be himself with you, to be Jason, the man who’d stolen your heart with his lopsided grins and grumpy bad boy attitude. And as your highs peaked and your moans filled his ears with a blissful ring, he came closer to his high.
With each stroke, his demeanour softened as he left Red Hood behind and became Jason, your Jason. “Love you, baby, love you so much.” He was rambling as the pleasure took hold of him, as the pleasure of your orgasm sent him into a blissful haze, chasing his own release, he spoke with a voice imbued with his love for you.
As he found his release, your pretty moans complimenting his groans, you whispered to him the words that soothed him entirely. “I love you too, Jay.” And he was complete.
Jason was a contradiction, he had broken pieces, he had scars that had shaped him, and yet this man that scoured Gotham for its evil lay bare, perfectly faceted and scarred and wonderfully real. For you.
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celianity · 5 months
Text
Movie Night 2.0
Jordan Li x Reader
Prompt: having finished the movie, you and Jordan take care of all that pent-up energy
Warnings: cursing, basically just a whole lot of smut
Word count: 1.332
Author's note: thanks for all the love on Movie Night - here is part 2, I hope you enjoy :) ________________________________________
„Where’s your shit talking mouth now, huh?” Jordan’s voice echoes through the quiet of the hall, drawing you in like a hypnotic spell.
There is still a bit of distance between the two of you because they got a head start, excusing themselves to the bathroom five minutes before the movie credits rolled.
Their absence put you more on edge then you cared to admit.
When Andre and Cate finally left and Marie started cleaning up the aftermath of the watch party, you could feel the tension in your body building.
After the lights went out in your dorm room and you counted to a hundred for good measure, your feet hit the floor again. Marie’s breath was steady, but Emma watched you in the dark with eagle eyes as you tiptoed to the door.
“No glove, no love,” she whispered, scaring you half to death.
You held up your middle finger before disappearing into the hallway, where you’re greeted by a small figure at the end of it.
The exit sign above Jordan’s head illuminates their chin length hair and tints their fitted tank top light green.
Your gaze drinks them in, every alluring curve and dip. Even from the distance you can feel their eyes burning as they watch you approach.
Slowly, they pull their hands out of the pockets of their sweatpants, reaching automatically for your waist as you halt to a stop in front of them.
You dip your head slightly to even out the height difference, breathing in, brushing your noses teasingly. An intoxicating mixture of perfume, adrenalin and foolishness sends your mind spiraling. “Right here, all yours.”
Jordan doesn’t wait a second longer to take you up on that offer, stealing that hitching breath right off your lips. You suppress a moan in the back of your throat at the unexpectedly hard impact.
Their hand snakes up the front of your torso and sweeps along your collarbone until it rests firmly at the side of your neck, splayed fingers applying reassuring pressure. Their thump at the front of your throat makes you fear for your dear innocence. The other hand on your ass doesn’t help either.
Time to turn the tables, then.
You deepen the kiss, letting the pent-up tension roll off your tongue right through their parted lips. Tasting the peppermint tinge of their toothpaste and pressing closer, you wedge one knee in between their legs. Craving more friction, Jordan grinds against the clothing of your silken pajama bottoms and you’re happy to oblige.
Your hands split up.
One brushing along the underside of their left boob before cupping it fully. A sigh escapes Jordan’s lips as you both come up for air and you pinch their nipple between your fingers. The fabric of their tank top is so thin, making it basically invisible to your touch.
Your other hand is stroking up their thigh, playfully undoing the cords of their sweatpants, before slipping past the elastic band of their underwear.
This time, you don’t even try to subdue the groan. “Holy fuck.” Jordan swallows every syllable greedily as their desire wets your fingertips.
Maliciously slow, you push two fingers inside them, curl, retreat, repeat. They arch further into you, intensifying every penetrating movement by practically riding your hand.
The tiny voice in the back of your head reminds you to slow down if you don’t wish to end this soon. However, pushing them over the brink with just your fingers, still fully clothed, is an ego boost you can’t deny.
The assurance of holding their body in the palms of your hands threshes yourself dangerously close to the brink of coming undone right then and there in this fucking hallway.
“Don’t slow down,” they rasp as if hearing your thoughts, biting down on your bottom lip to hold your attention. The grip on your ass tightens.
“We’re just getting started.” You close your mouth around your fingers, savoring their taste on your tongue. “We should move this to your bedroom though because I need you to get naked right about fucking now.”
“You’re so goddamn hot, it makes me hate you sometimes,” Jordan bites out, nodding in agreement.
After planting one last peck on your swollen lips, they guide you by the hand to the nearest door.
Darkness surrounds you, sharpening your senses, highlighting your own desperate needs.
You hear a lock turn before two larger hands grab your waist, pulling you flush against a defined chest. Head turned upwards now; the new flaring up force of the kiss spurring you on. You feel like fighting the current of an ocean all of a sudden.
Those damn sweatpants are doing a terrible job at disguising Jordan’s hard-on, and it drives you crazy.
You clasp one hand around their cutting jaw, deepening the kiss, wanting them to swallow you whole.
The other one glides from their right shoulder over their chest and stomach, picking right up where you left off, enjoying every muscle twitch under your definite touch.
Right before reaching the elastic waistband again, certain fingers wrap around your wrist.
Hot breath fans against your ear, as Jordan whispers, “Your turn, get on the bed.”
The confidence in their tone sends a shiver down your spine, settling right between your legs which are now being pushed apart.
Scattered streaks of moonlight streaming in through the window paint their figure above you in pale light. With a catching breath, you freeze to admire them for a moment.
A smug smile tucks at the corners of their mouth, coming down on yours again after being parted for what feels like an eternity.
Eagerness is pulling the strings now.
You wrap your legs around their waist, guiding them nearer to where you need them the most. Tracing fingers and venturing lips won’t do the trick any longer.
You free them from their tank top to toss it somewhere onto the floor, ruffling their hair in the process, and finally loosen the cords of their sweatpants.
Physically restraining from letting your hand travel farther to encompass their bulge, you sit up instead to get rid of your own clothing, never breaking eye contact.
Jordan takes a quick dive into their bedside table to find a condom before settling onto their side, impatiently waiting to get a hold of your body again.
Briefly, you toy with the idea of putting on a little strip show just to tease them but the hungry glint in their dark eyes teaches you better.
“I want you on all fours,” they say, already moving behind you, warm hands grabbing your hips to pull you back in position. The tip of their hard cock at your soaking entrance turns your mouth into a desert.
“If you wait one second longer, I’m going to kill you,” you pant.
They grant your wish immediately, slamming into you with a force that nearly sends you face-first into the mattress if their splayed hands hadn’t held your torso upright.
These raw groans in the back of their throat zinging right through you, as you move in sync, pushing you over the edge a lot faster than you would have hoped.
Jordan can’t help falling apart at the same time, the view of your moonlit backside and the feel of your body around them being too goddamn much.
You flop down on your belly, content in the silence that follows, not caring about the mess right now. Jordan’s arms wind around your naked form, wrapping you in a full body hug. Their lips on the crown of your head are making you smile into their rising and falling chest.
“Are you staying over?” they ask almost hesitant, voice low and quiet in the dark of the advanced hour.
In response, you press a series of kisses onto their heated skin.
“You won’t get much sleep tonight if you keep on doing that.”
Your open-mouthed grin is a dagger in the diffuse light of the room. “I’m counting on it.”
873 notes · View notes
lofaewrites · 5 months
Text
S(he) Calls Me Back
Ghost! Eddie Munson x Girlfriend!Reader
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👩🏻‍💻- Hi ya’ll, it’s been a while, I looked at this for way too long and I kinda hate it but oh well! - this fic is brought to you by what I can only call a perfect storm, It’s October, I couldn’t sleep, Noah Kahan’s got a death grip on my brain and then finally changing my answering machine message to use my actual name instead of my dead name.. all those things mixed together into a soup gave me this idea so now here we are at our destination- sad fic city! - big big thank you to @lokis-army-77 for reading this over and brain storming with me, Ily you sm Caro !💙
(for best reading experience listen to the song!!)
Take care of yourself by minding the tags + Minors DNI - My account and its contents are not for you- If you are under the age of 18- Please fuck off!
WC - 5.0K <-🪦-> this fic includes - major character death- ghost(?)eddie - hurt/some comfort - semi canon compliant - post-vecna - mentions of religion/church - minor wound description - mentions of blood - mentions of nightmares- so much crying - grief - a twist at the end
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It had been 7 months. March had bled into April, Winter ended, Spring came, Then Summer, and now it was Fall.
It was all a blur to you because as soon as you got used to a season, it was gone.
Just like he was, you hadn’t been together long, in a few months, the “will we won’t we” era had ended, and in its stead came the “In love” one.
You had both agreed it was the best one, you’d spent hours talking about what era of your lives together you thought would top the present one.
But there would only ever be the best one. The hopes in that conversation were dashed when he chose to be a “Hero” - He didn’t realize he was already one.
When you and Eddie first met, back when faith was still a word in your mind and heart, you prayed that he’d always be there.
83’ happened and snatched it, leaving its bloody claw marks where any belief you had, had once lived.
And then the two of you got together, and for the first time in years, You prayed, you prayed to every god you didn’t believe in, that he’d never be dragged into it, That he’d be spared.
That one thing could and would go untainted, that you wouldn’t be cast out of the heaven you found in him, in the quiet dark of his bedroom, in his laugh, in the way he looked at you, The heaven that was in Eddie Munson.
But you weren’t baptized, your prayers fell on deaf ears, words falling into the stale air of the church you used to go to when you were little.
You’d lit one of the candles and everything, doing it exactly the way your grandma had taught you.
You should’ve known when it burned out within minutes of being lit that your begging would go unanswered, pleading with a man rarely ever brought the results one would want.
It was laughable now, her belief in a higher power- at least from the perspective of someone who had been to hell and back —she’d call you jaded, say that “kids these days are blah blah blah” It didn’t matter.
Seeing the things you saw, having the scars you did, the things you’d lost, the people.
The Person.
It all brought you to one belief - If there was a God, He was not merciful and full of love the way they said. At worst he was vengeful, at best he was just turning a blind eye, If he was even still there in the first place.
The autumn chill nipped at your cheeks, but the sun was still out, the leaves were changing, there were pumpkins on porches, and the smell of rain was in the air more times than not.
The year was almost over, and soon enough Old Man Winter's first breath would fall onto Hawkins, blanketing the scorched earth in white, the destruction covered, at least for a few weeks.
Soon it will have been a year. 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes 31536000 seconds. And none of it felt right, you wondered if it ever would.
Things were being rebuilt, slowly but surely, there were still roads that needed to have the cracks filled, houses that were split in two, sidewalks that you once walked on, ones that you’d never be able to again.
Half of the people in town had left, saying things like they had enough of living in “Hell”. They had no idea what true hell was, you were jealous of them, jealous of the ignorance, of the bliss that must come on the side of that ignorance.
But at least if you were going through hell you weren’t alone. You had family, you had friends, even if they were the same.
After the dust had finally settled, Robin finally moved into Steve’s parent's house.
They had made the executive decision to not come back to Hawkins, Telling their son that he could do what he wanted with the house.
So he did. He made it a home, something it had never been before.
He brought your little trio back together, the three of you building something beautiful from the ashes. It was crooked and cobbled together with blood, sweat, and tears. But it was yours and that was what was important
There are weekly movie nights, DnD games, and Sunday dinners, most if not all events or celebrations are held at the former Harrington House.
You, Steve, and Robin still couldn’t agree on what to call the house - Steve was adamant about it being called “La Casa De Dingus” - You and Robin vetoed it, You’d figure out something eventually.
Silvia Harrington would have a coronary if she saw what her son and his two best friends had done to her precious house.
The difference was stark. The once cold space was lived in, sink full of dishes, walls filled with pictures, house plants in the window, couches with mismatched pillows, and thrift store furniture.
It was a good life, or at least as good as you could have after you watched the love of your life die in your arms.
Everything made you think of him, a song on the radio, an advertisement on TV, a smell in passing, colors, numbers, even letters. It was suffocating in a way you didn’t know was even possible.
The worst times were the first few minutes in the morning, it always felt like he was there with you, snug in the dip he had made in your mattress over the years, and the flannel you had stolen was still hanging on the back of your desk chair, his rings and pick necklace were in the box that Wayne had given you at the funeral.
You couldn’t escape Eddie Munson. Not that you’d ever want to, Even in death.
You were staring up at the ceiling, the sound of the fan melting into the silence of the house, Steve and Robin weren’t home, Steve was on an overnight shift, and Robin was spending the night at her girlfriend’s house.
You turned on your side, cuddling up to the stuffed bear Eddie had gotten you for Valentine's Day all those months ago.
It felt like it had been so much longer, than just months. Time was funny like that.
You looked over at the red neon of your alarm clock, The time read 3:46 AM, Sleep hadn’t come easy before everything, and it had only gotten worse in the aftermath.
Lying awake restless became the norm - You’d find yourself teetering on the very edge of sleep but being pulled back just before you go over it.
You had a routine, doze off, wake up gasping, stare at the ceiling, and cry.
Wash, rinse, and repeat.
There was another part of the routine, one no one knew about. On nights like tonight, when the house was empty, the usual sounds of loud conversations, movies music, they were traded for silence
You’d call Eddie, Dial the number with muscle memory, and listen to his answering machine message.
Sometimes you’d leave your own, not caring that he’d never hear them.
Most times, You’d yell, curse his name, pour all the anger and grief into your words, other’s you’d reminisce, tell him you love him, that you miss him, that you don’t know what to do without him, that everything you do feels like you’re just living life in his footsteps, waiting for him to comeback, for it to all be a dream.
But it’s not a dream. He's gone and all that’s left is an answering machine message and memories.
And as much as you cherished those memories, it hurts to think about them.
There are two weeks until Halloween. That’s when you finally start to crack, It would have been a year.
A year since Eddie confessed his feelings and kissed you - The seconds your lips met everything shifted into place.
It was after the annual Halloween party at Tina’s house, The one party a year where you hung out with your friends, sat in the living room getting crossed, playing drinking games, until you finally got bored and went to find Eddie, He was always in the corner of the room, A grin on his face and a wad of cash in his pocket.
Eddie made a killing, Unloading his entire stash to the patrons of the party.
It was nearly one in the morning when the two of you decided to leave, it started to rain the second you were out the door, and when you finally made it into the van you were both soaked to the bone, laughing.
He’d glanced at you, with a look you’d never seen in his eyes, Coffee colored eyes staring right into your bright hues- He grabbed your hand and asked you out, His words were jumbled, he had to repeat himself twice before you understood what he had said - At first you thought he was joking, punched his arm and threatened him but he proved himself.
He opened himself up, holding his heart in his hands asking you to take it, so you did. and from that point on, you were together. If someone saw Eddie, they knew you weren’t too far behind and vice versa.
5 months, 5 months of being loved by Eddie Munson, 5 Months of sleepovers and smoke seshes, movie nights and diner dates, band practices, and shows at the hideout.
Eddie had brought Adventure to your life, he’d brought light back to you.
He brought faith, not in a god, but in him. In love, In life.
It was a faith that as soon as you had gotten used to having- it was gone. snatched from the space it had taken in your chest, and you were left with the hole again.
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On Saturdays you’d go visit Eddie, Sit with him, bring flowers and nicknacks you thought he’d like - You didn’t talk to his grave usually, if you did it was just to read to him, the rest of your words were reserved for the voicemails you’d leave him.
The sun would go down soon, the sky was turning, and the ombre of yellows and purples made you think of a bruise.
As you drove down the back roads of Hawkins, You thought about everything that happened, How much things had changed in the past 7 months, you thought about the fact that for the rest of your life you’d be driving down these roads just to find a semblance of peace.
The mixtape Eddie had made before you started dating played through the stereo, The familiar guitar from the beginning of Over The Hills and Far Away by Led Zeppelin hitting your ears and pulling at your heart.
You drove down the dirt road that led to the cemetery. It was empty, It was almost always when you came, at least the last few times, you wondered why.
Maybe it was because everyone who had family buried had left town, maybe it was because of the weather, or because you came at odd hours, early mornings, or at sunset, it felt more peaceful then.
You get out of your car, grabbing your bag and the carnations you got from Bradley’s when you did errands in the morning.
The walk to Eddie’s plot is almost silent, the only sounds coming from the crunch of leaves under your feet and from the final crickets of the year
His grave is up on a hill, there’s an oak tree that casts a shadow over it. He'd have said it was a perfect place to read, you wonder if that's why Wayne picked it- You’d have to ask him at Sunday dinner.
When you finally get to the top of the hill, The sun is casting a golden hue directly onto his headstone. You stand in front of it for a minute, staring down at the flowers you had brought at the beginning of the month. They were finally starting to wilt.
Crouching down you swap them out for the fresh ones, placing the other ones in your bag, before moving to sit against the tree.
You let the cool air dance over you, only pulling your jacket closer when a particularly large gust touched down, whipping the grass and making the hair on the back of your neck stand up.
It hadn’t always been your jacket. It was his, the chains on the cuffs jingled as you pulled them down over your hands, you had put on one of the flannels from the box Wayne had given you and layered it with the leather, They had become your armor, It made you feel like you were walking along with Eddie like he was right next to you with every step you took.
You look over at the words etched on the marble in front of you, it was always painful to read but you do it anyway.
Edward James Munson
8/18/1966 - 3/27/1986
A Son, Loyal Friend, Musician- A Hero If Ever there was one, May he go in Peace.
He was 19. His life was just beginning and he’d never get to see it. He'd never finish the last campaign, or the song he had been working on. He’d called it his Magnum Opus jokingly- But he was right, It would have been a hit. ‘
The thing that hurt the most was that he would never get to graduate. He had worked so hard, pouring himself into studying, doing his homework, and checking in with his teachers, he’d done a complete 180 after he found out he wasn’t going to graduate in 85’.
You had been so proud of him, everyone was so proud of him.
He’d never get to see how proud, never walk across that stage and give Higgins the finger as he planned.
The Funeral was beautiful in its own way, the sun was shining, even with the final chill of winter surrounding you. If Eddie had been there, he’d have made a joke and rolled his eyes at the way his uncle had a priest there.
“A man of God at a funeral for a ‘Devil Worshiping Freak?' The Catholic Church sure has low standards.”
You shake your head, banishing the thoughts back into the depths of your mind, distracting yourself by staring just past the stone, your eyes gazing over the horizon, the trees shifting from yellow to oranges to red.
The lights of Hawkins slowly all turned on, your eyes flit over to the path down the hill- There’s a payphone nestled right at the fork in the road, you’d asked the caretaker once why it was there, He had just smiled. Said something about how it was a big place and sometimes emergencies happened. You wondered if that was the full story but in truth even if it wasn’t it didn’t matter.
The sun finally went down, the night blanketing the trees and grass, the stars were so bright in the cemetery, that it was undisrupted from the bright lights of Hawkins.
The lights that lined the road flickered on, the white light illuminating the headstones, it always felt erie so you’d leave.
You stood up, walked over to the stone, put your hand down on the top, saying a silent goodbye.
As you walk down the hill the urge to call him gnaws at your heart, so instead of staying on the path you walk right to it, opening the door and walking in.
Your hands shake as you pick the receiver up, fishing a quarter out of the inside pocket of your jacket, you put it in the slot, the dull hum of it awaiting your fingers on the buttons.
You press them, putting in the number you had memorized all those years ago.
765-317-997
The dial tone rings, once, twice, three times, four, five, and six.
No answer. There was no one there, you knew that, it truthfully was a miracle that the machine was still intact, after all, it was in the pit, the pit that had held the husk of The Munson trailer, You’d salvaged everything you could once they finally pulled it out, And even then half of it had been completely detached so they couldn’t get it.
The pit still hadn’t been filled in.
Before Eddie’s headstone had been erected in the grass you had just been standing on, you’d go there, dangle your legs over the edge, and there you would talk to him, it always felt so stupid, to pretend that he could hear you, but you still did it, and it was a comfort in the early days.
The crackle of the answering machine cut through the air, the knowledge of what was coming next took that same air out of your lungs.
The first thing you heard was the sound of your laugh, intertwined with Eddies.
“Shhhh I gotta- Mmph - Sweetheart, give me a minute- Oh shit is it already recording?! Fuck This is Eddie Munson DM-GP-DD PHD XYZ ETC, basically your resident jack of all trades, leave your name number, and business and I’ll get back to you
when I can.”
He sounded so alive. He had been so alive.
When you closed your eyes you wished that was the memory you’d see but it wasn’t.
Instead of a night of shotgunning smoke with a movie you couldn’t remember the name of playing in the background, A night of soft kisses, and wandering hands, of confessions in the quiet dark of his room.
Your room. Heaven. Instead of all the good; It’s your hell on a loop.
He’s dying, but still smiling at you and Dustin while choking on his own blood.
“I told you It was going to be my year.”
“I love you”
The shaky sound of his last breath and the screams that followed it, You hadn’t even realized they were your own.
It had taken both Robin and Steve to pry you away from him, and even then you were taken away bodily; biting, kicking, and screaming.
You begged and pleaded for days for someone to go and get him, but the gates were closed, and there was no safe way to open them again.
With Hopper back as Chief of Police and Dr.Owens back at the helm of the clean-up team, they worked together to bring a semblance of order back to Hawkins.
They worked quickly, settled everything, cleared Eddie's name, and distributed the “Hush Money”. They gave the media the cover story, Of how Henry Creel, though assumed to be long dead, wasn’t. He was instead a deranged serial killer who kidnapped and murdered 4 people.
Wayne planned the funeral, called Father Brennan and asked him to come. He said he would.
You helped as much as you could and helped pick out a casket, and a headstone, Wayne called Father Brennan and asked him to come.
A casket that would be buried without a body, instead it was filled with treasures, things that made Eddie, Eddie.
His DM screen, his favorite dice, a pack of Red’s, the original corroded coffin banner, There was a photo album that you had put together, the two of you over the years, before you got together and after, you’d gone and gotten copies made before everything had happened. It was supposed to be a birthday present.
Wayne got together what he could of Eddie’s music and a 12-pack of Miller Lite, He had said that his boy would need his tunes and a cold beer even if he was up in heaven.
Everyone brought something, walked up to the mahogany wood, and dropped it in.
Corroded Coffin, The Party, The Babysitters Club, all came together and celebrated the life of Eddie Munson.
Everyone who had ever loved him, who knew who he was underneath the layers of armor, under the dramatic flair and the doctrine.
The fiercely loyal boy, who helped the old ladies in the trailer park with their groceries, the boy who loved with everything he had.
You wrote a Eulogy, one that never left the pages of your journal, You couldn’t find your voice when it was finally your turn to speak, the words were jumbled on the page, the paper becoming wet with tears that you had tried so hard to push down, Steve came up to the podium and walked you back to your seat.
You didn’t speak for hours after, only being able to when it was only family and friends around. The people who knew, who understood why you couldn’t speak.
People who knew you blamed yourself, that you carried the burden of feeling like he’d have been better off if you had never met.
They all said you were wrong, That you were special to him, they talked about how in love he was, how happy you made him.
“I’ll miss him for the rest of my life”
You’d said it at the wake, standing in the living room of the house the government gave Wayne.
It was a gesture of “Restitution” for the “Tragedy” of what happened was what Dr.Owens and the NSA agents that came to Recon Hawkin, had said.
Buzzword-filled explanations followed by hollow condolences, Said all to acknowledge that, Yes, something happened, it wasn’t their fault.
But it was. If they had gotten their shit together and ended everything the second there were complications the way they had been advised, He would still be here, Instead of a body stuck in hell and an empty casket he’d be here.
You wouldn’t be standing in a payphone in the middle of a cemetery, you’d be back at the trailer, curled up on the couch with pizza and watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, just like you did every October.
It’d be a regular Saturday. Life would have been normal.
You leaned your back against the wall of the phone booth, taking a deep breath, thinking of the sound of silence surrounding you but instead, the phone rang.
The pay phone rang loudly and the sound startled you, It had never rang before.
Who was calling? Should you answer? Or should you run?
An itching feeling in the back of your brain told you to pick up the phone so you did, There was static on the other end until you got the nerve to speak.
“H-hello?” Your voice shook, a twinge of paranoia shooting through your body.
A chuckle came from the other side of the call. A sound that you never thought you’d hear again.
It couldn’t be, this was some sick dream. You were going to wake up any second, you’d be back in your room, your cheeks would be wet and you’d be screaming.
“Hey, Sweetheart.” The voice on the other end sounds just like Eddie’s.
What. The. Fuck.
Your head began to spin, a nauseousness settling into the bottom of your stomach.
There was no way. He was dead, you saw it happen, felt it, the way it rattled him, you saw the blood, and by the end, you had been covered in it.
There was no such thing as ghosts. Right?
“Please don’t hang up. It took me so long to get this fuckin thing to work.”
The voice sounded so desperate, and scratchy, like it hadn’t been used in a long time.
“Eddie? How.. I don’t understand, you’re dead there’s no-“
The voice interrupted you, Eddie had a bad habit of doing that. Your heart ached.
“I don’t know how, Baby, It makes no sense, I don’t understand it myself. but It’s me. I swear.”
“How do I know I can trust you, That this isn’t just some sick prank.”
“When I asked you out, you punched me, You said you’d kick my ass if I was playing a prank on you- I swore I’d never play a prank on you as long as I lived. I’d never break a promise to you”
It had been a conversation you had in the back of his van, it was just the two of you, no one else could have known about it.
“E-eddie?” He laughed on the other side of the phone, Interrupting you again,
“Yeah, it’s me. I swear on my grave.”
“That’s not funny you asshole, You don’t get to joke about that.”
The tears had started to flow, whether they were from shock or anger you couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter.
“You lied earlier. you did break a promise. You promised you wouldn’t be a hero. You said you wouldn’t leave me,”
“I know I did, I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t- I didn’t mean.” He was crying now too, the sniffle of his nose and hitch of his breath broke your heart.
He sighed- when he spoke again, his voice was shaky - “I had to make sure you got out. I couldn’t. You needed more time, They needed more time, and I saw a way, I had to take it.“
“NO YOU DIDN’T. YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BE A GOD DAMN MARTYR.”
The loudness of your voice startled you, biting your lip to make it stop, yelling wasn’t what you wanted to do, not now.
Because he was there. Somehow, he was right there, Speaking to you. From beyond the grave.
You took a deep breath steadying yourself before finishing your thought, “We could have figured it out together, Made a plan, It didn’t have to end like that.”
You heard him clear his throat, letting yourself imagine the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he did, the way his brow would be furrowed, thumb between his lips and teeth, a nervous habit he never seemed to be able to kick, no matter what he tried.
“I needed to stop running, I didn’t want to be a coward anymore. I needed to protect you, Dustin. Everyone.”
“I needed you more Eddie.”
You were crying again, choked sobs breaking through with the utterance of his name, you could hear his breath hitch again, signaling his own tears threatening to fall
He took a minute to collect himself “I don’t want to fight. I’ve heard you fighting me for months. Every word, every message you’ve left, I’ve hung onto every sentence. I know.”
He finally let them fall, the sob breaking free
“I don’t know how much time We’ve got left, Sweetheart. And I just want to hear your voice until I can’t anymore.”
All the fight left you after that, wanting nothing more than to just pretend this was normal. a normal phone call, your boyfriend on the other line, just calling to catch up.
“Okay.”
So you talked, you told him about everything, About how Vacna was defeated, How Steve, Robin, and Nancy's plan worked. At least well enough to end it.
You told him about what happened to Max, Lucas and Erica, The “Earthquakes' ', How Hopper wasn’t actually dead, just stuck in a Russian concentration camp. How half of the population of Hawkins had left, You told him how even though so much had changed, Hawkins was still somehow almost the same even after he left it.
You told him about how You, Steve and Robin moved in together, about how Robin almost burned the house down making popcorn, about how Steve was actually surprisingly good cook,
You told him about his funeral, and just like you thought he would, he made a joke about Father Brennan being there, You both laughed.
You told him about Sunday dinner, about how Dustin took over as DM, about how Max was finally up and walking again, about how much she hated her glasses.
You told him about how the Byers were back, About how El was safe, alive, how she helped save everyone, You’d said it before, but you thought they’d like each other.
You told him about how Wayne finally asked their neighbor June out, and they were thinking of moving in together, He laughed, saying how it “was about time that old man bit the bullet”.
It felt so strange to be talking so casually, like it was just a normal Saturday night, because it was anything but normal.
There was a lul in the conversation after it hit you that this might be the last time you would ever hear his voice. And suddenly nothing else mattered but telling him how you feel. To crack open your heart and let it all out.
So you did. You let the words fall out of your mouth, it was like a dam broke.
“I’m still mad at you, you know?. But I can’t keep holding onto it. I miss you more than I’m mad.”
You choked back another sob, your voice wobbling “I just- I don’t know how to do this without you Teddy. It’s so hard.”
He let out a strangled sound, something between a whimper and a wail, it was obvious he had moved back from the phone, not wanting you to hear him, you did.
“I know. I can’t do anything other than say I’m sorry, I love you and I’m sorry. I swear I’ll make it up to you. Once I find a way out of here“
He stopped speaking abruptly. seemingly realizing what he had said. He winced.
You had already started to say “I love you too” before you finally processed what he had said - Suddenly It felt like a bucket of freezing water had been poured over you.’
“What do you mean “find a way out of here”. Where are you, Eddie?”
He took a shuddering breath before he said words that made the blood in your veins turn to ice.
“I’m still down here, Baby, In the trailer and I can’t get out”
The line went dead after that, and you fell to your knees.
He was alive. Eddie Munson was alive. And you had to find a way to get him back.
It was the last thing on your mind before it all went dark.
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shuarush · 1 year
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foolproof stupidity
» pairing: mingyu x fem!reader
» word count:  54,442
» warnings: alcohol, drinking, a bit of angst i guess, smut, a bit of an existential crisis tw for the young adults like me, cursing.
» genres: romance, fluff, eventual smut, vacation, adulthood, developing friendships, awkward flirting, secrecy, stupid ass people being emotionally unavailable and constipated.
☆✎ synopsis:  after giving your blood, sweat and tears to your company, you found yourself lost in whoever you are and were, and in the middle of an uncomfortable event you decided to throw caution out the window and go out of your comfort zone. meeting mingyu wasn’t the reason for it, but it was a good consequence. the feelings that emerged in your heart, on the other hand, were something you simply couldn’t handle at the moment, and you might just let your traumas get the best of you and push away the thing you fear the most: love.
☆✎ a/n: hello babydeul, 
this time around i came with a mingyu x reader and i wanted to make it as light and youthful as i could, since that's how i see mingyu: a very kind-hearted, youthful and sincere person. i’m really thankful to my friends julia and mari, who helped me out at the beginning of it, as well as every single one of the people who followed me in the making of this fanfic while i was posting it on ao3.
i hope you can enjoy this one as much as you did with play again, and don’t be shy to interact with me in any way or form. thank you for giving foolproof stupidity a chance ♡  
☆✎ some final notes:
⇢ i’ll mark the chapter with smut so you can skip it if you want or need (minors please dni with those);
⇢ again this is a first, but this time it is my first smut, i hope it is a good reading, i did my best to make it to my liking;
⇢ english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes i might’ve made along the way;
⇢ i hope you enjoy it, and if you decided to read it thank you sm :)
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chapter one - the girl i used to know
The unrequited attention you and Rae were getting from every single male eye sitting on that table was scrutinizing. Even reaching out for a beer would make at least one of them look at you like you were some weird attraction on a road circus. 
“Seriously, Seungkwan, you said you were hanging out with some friends.” Rae hissed between her teeth, giving the dirtiest look she could possibly come up with for her soon-to-be-ex-best-friend. Since you didn’t even want to be there in the first place, you ignored all the side-eyes from the unknown men and kept slowly drinking the beer that you had ordered as soon as you got there. 
“I am hanging out with some friends.” Seungkwan muttered unconvincingly and you saw Rae’s eyes roll dramatically. They always ended up bickering, and you’d only intervene when they were about to rip each other’s face off, but that was far from happening that day, so you just enjoyed the few hours Rae had convinced you to give yourself while she regretted her own decision.
“This is a fucking bachelor party, Seungkwan. Boys only.” she grunted and it was his time to roll his eyes. Seungkwan was wrong in that situation, but for him to admit that it would take about another three hours of complaining and maybe two beers, so you kept watching to see what excuse he’d give this time. 
You weren’t worried at all. In your line of work death threats were so common that a bunch of men looking at you like you were unwelcome almost felt recomforting. At least there’s no paperwork to dig in on the table, you thought to yourself, feeling the small paper cut you had gotten a few hours prior burn just by thinking about looking through files.
“Yes, but they started talking about a show I haven’t watched yet and I got bored…” He was soon to confess and you held Rae’s hand as it was starting to move towards Seungkwan’s chest. She was fast, but you were faster. You finally decided it was time for you to meddle, since you wouldn’t be there much longer anyway and it was best if you three could just spend some time together: “Ok, there’s no point in fighting over this, let’s just drink two beers and go home, shall we?” You proposed and you felt a dirty look being directed towards you. 
Raena was always like that, sensitive - and in denial about that anytime you’d bring it up -, but the good thing about it was that it never actually lasted. She would nag for a few minutes and then just come to the resolution that it is what it is, and then would simply get hammered. It wasn’t always good for you since it was always your job to carry her ass home, but it was definitely better than her being moody the entire night. Besides, drunk Rae could be pretty fun most of the time.
“You always take his side. I want a fucking tequila.” she blurted, raising her hand and ordering two shots of that devilish shit-enabeler. You took the small truce opportunity to look around the table. Seungkwan’s oldest friends were there, many that you only knew by name. You tried, to the best of your knowledge and abilities, giving names to the faces that surrounded you, but that task was easier said than done. 
Firstly, you saw Jay - the husband-to-be - fervently denying the presence of strippers, which was being strongly suggested by the shortest one of them. Taking by his bright red hair and his lack of discretion, that could only be Rugel. You continued your analysis, circling the table and laying your eyes on someone who you actually knew. Chan was sipping some whiskey while trying to not frown at every single one of Rugel’s proposals, and beside him there was someone who - by the way he looked - could only be Vernon.
Seungkwan would continuously talk about Vernon to you and Rae at any given opportunity, but his allegedly best friend was never free to hang out with us so we could properly meet. You and Raena had the conspiracy theory that, in fact, Seungkwan was madly in love with Vernon, but their situationship got to a point where it was so comfortable neither of them would leave their comfort zone, and Seungkwan knew you - specifically the lesbian Patti Stanger who was sipping tequila as if it was meant to be drank that way - well enough to know that someone amongst the two would notice his crush and do something about it, consequently ruining Seungkwan’s chances and friendship. 
After scanning a little bit more, you saw another familiar face amidst many unknown ones. Seokmin was one of Seungkwan’s oldest friends, and you’ve met him many times before, but you never got to actually saying more than a few words. The bright-smiled man always seemed to be walking on eggshells when he spoke to you, and you were never interested enough in making friends to try to engage in any conversation whatsoever. He was laughing widely about something a man, who was sitting beside him and that you definitely didn’t know, said. 
His honey skin was glowing almost as much as the small fangs he’d show while smiling. He had broad shoulders and a wide torso, and you found yourself wondering what would be under that black polo shirt he was wearing. His glossy brown hair was about at ear length, and he would constantly flick it back while talking avidly. You didn’t know his name, but you knew you wanted to. 
“... Are you deaf?” Seungkwan’s heavy hand met your shoulder as he howled at you, taking your attention from the other side of the table. You were bearing a confused expression, and he looked at you completely outraged, but just repeated the question he had just asked: “You’re going on the trip, right?” 
You bit your lower lip, knowing damn well that the answer you had wasn’t even close to the one your friend wanted. He knew what your answer was by that small gesture, and quickly started to get distressed. You could see by the way his nostrils widened and he opened a very unfriendly smile.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Scoffing that phrase was easier than you thought, especially because you decided that your beer bottle was way more interesting to look at than any other place at that moment - especially your best friend’s sulky face. You heard the loud sigh Seungkwan let out before turning to you. “It’s too close and I didn’t buy the plane ticket… And I have to work.” You tried explaining yourself even before he said anything. 
“Well, maybe you need a bad idea. You haven’t gone on a vacation in three years. I’ve counted. And it’s my birthday. Can’t you come just this time?” He said the last phrase in the cutest way he could, but seeing you bit your lip once again made him almost shout a cuss word. You looked at Rae, hoping that she would save you from that situation, but by the look on her face she agreed with Seungkwan. You were completely alone on that one, and that usually meant that it was the situation you hated the most: you were wrong.
“I bought your ticket, you know? It was a “two for one” deal and I secretly kinda wished you’d go…” Her confession took you by surprise. You hadn’t been much present in anything of their lives lately, you knew that. Work had consumed you deeply, and each case you got at the law firm was another reason for you to be unable to go anywhere they would invite you. “Come with us… pretty please?” 
It broke your heart to say the next phrase. Even though you wanted to go, you had so much work to do, and any slip could be the end of you at the law firm, so you felt like your hands were tied. “I can’t.” 
“Let’s leave it.” Seungkwan declared to Rae, immediately ordering hard liquor, what made you sure he wasn’t ‘leaving it’, but only trying to cope with the fact that your mind was already made. After that, you didn’t have the heart to leave the bachelor party as soon as you finished your second beer, so you ordered a third one. Seungkwan, on the other hand, was already on his (probably) sixth or seventh shot, and Rae wasn’t much behind. 
“At least let loose tonight OK?” After throwing back another dose he begged you, putting a shot of some clear beverage in front of you. It was the least you could do, and you just chugged it, feeling the liquor sliding down your throat, making a burning sensation spread on it. You blinked heavily trying not to make a face, and finally saw a smile appear on Seungkwan’s mouth, which made you smile back. 
You and Seungkwan kept chatting for a while, noticing a bit later that your other friend had silently left the table and was nowhere to be found. After scanning the place inch by inch, you found Rae on the dance floor, kissing passionately the tallest girl you’ve ever seen in your entire life. You looked stunned to Seungkwan, who brought his hands to his mouth as he gasped. 
“Ok, we should do that too!” He was drunk and you could see that not only by the way he was speaking, but also by the fact he was trying to kiss your cheeks at every single opportunity he got. Nevertheless, that wasn’t actually a bad suggestion. You couldn’t even remember the last time your mouth touched anything other than your moisturizing cream.
Your eyes went straight to the other side of the table, quickly finding that tall man that caught your attention earlier still talking to Seokmin. This time around, Seokmin was saying something that was making him cringe deeply, and even with that strange motion of his face you found him attractive. You pointed that direction with your head, turning your gaze to Seungkwan next. 
“Set me up with him. He’s handsome.” you asked and immediately saw another big smile appear on Seungkwan’s face. That man would root for you to leave your chastity era since you’ve entered it, always pointing out that just because you weren’t good at love it didn’t mean you should give up on it that easily. He looked at where you pointed, pressing his lips into a fine line before turning back to you. 
“Seokmin?” he looked confused and you denied, swinging your head from one side to the other. He once again turned his head, finding the person you were talking about just then. “Ah, Mingyu.” Seungkwan made a funny face after taking your words in. It was a mix of disgust and smug look, almost as if he hadn't fully decided which concept to commit to. 
“Ok, that one is Mingyu.” You vaguely remembered Seungkwan mentioning him on some random occasions, but his looks were definitely not brought up before. “Yes, yes. Mingyu. Wingman me, please.” 
Seungkwan raised his thumb up, getting up and swiftly moving towards Mingyu. Walking seemed a bit more difficult than he remembered, and for some reason things were spinning much more than he expected, but still not enough to make him quiver. He sat next to Mingyu, almost demanding his and Seokmin’s attention. “Gentleman…”
“Did you just find out we stopped talking about the new season of the Witcher like forty minutes ago?” Seokmin asked and Seungkwan declined promptly. He raised one finger, and pointed it directly to Mingyu, and then Seungkwan’s right hand met Mingyu’s left shoulder. 
“How about you… smooch smooch… with my bestie over there?” He asked, completely ignoring Seokmin’s previous comment. Mingyu looked over Seungkwan’s shoulder, seeing you fixing your glasses on your face. Your eyes were glued to your phone and you were furrowing your eyebrows at an email you had just received. 
You were attractive, he wouldn’t deny that. Your hair was very well tied back in a ponytail, a gray suit fitted you perfectly, reaching every inch of your body and leaving only space to imagination. There was some sort of nude nail polish and he could see very light makeup on your face. It was clear that you went there straight from work, and Mingyu thought that a person like that wouldn’t enjoy listening about how he does art for a living. It was always people dressed like you that kept telling him his job wasn’t actually a job, and he just grimaced remembering all those experiences.
“Um…” He took one of his fingers straight to his mouth, ripping a bit of his cuticle in the process. “... I don’t think she’s really my type. She seems to be kind of…uptight?” Seungkwan was about to protest, but Seokmin agreed with Mingyu instantly. 
“Yeah, I’ve never felt comfortable to really approach her because I feel she’ll just call me childish and, I don’t know, break my spirit. Yell at me like my mom would, tell me that my life prospects are garbage.” He confessed in an amused tone, but Seungkwan felt his mouth dropping, switching his gaze to Mingyu, who was agreeing with Seokmin, and then immediately to you. 
You looked nothing like the person he met in high school. Your hair wasn’t messy as it always used to be, you had gotten rid of the bangs that made your small face look even smaller, the gray suit was completely covering your arms and showing no parts of the places where you used to draw what later on became tattoos.
Even the expression on your face seemed a bit off. He knew you were wearing makeup to cover up the huge bags under your eyes, which only began to appear when you started your corporate job; your lips were completely bit off because that was the best way you knew to relieve stress, and you must’ve been under a lot of it. None of it reminded him of you in any way.
Seungkwan had met you in your most rebellious phase, after spending years doing anything and everything your parents expected from you, and he truly believes that the one he met was the real you. The one who always talked about being a professional photographer; who wasn’t afraid of taking risks, of leaving her comfort zone; the one who would climb up his window with a bag of m&ms telling him that you’d left only the orange ones for him cause it was his favorite color; that you. 
When your parents insisted that you wanted to pursue photography because “you weren’t able to do anything else with your life”, Seungkwan watched you study your ass off and quickly pass the entrance exam for law school. He was there during the many nights where you drunkenly promised that you would just shove that diploma into your parents face and then go back to doing what you actually wanted and liked. 
Looking at you being exactly who your parents wanted completely disheartened him. All because of your damn competitive nature and colossal pride. He left Mingyu and Seokmin by themselves without thinking twice, taking you by your hand and leading you to the outside area of the bar. You looked relaxed, opening a smile that he knew very well, one of the only things that still remained from your past self. 
“So?” You asked him. He shook his head from one side to the other with a hurt expression, but you just shrugged. “Well, trying never hurts right?” As usual, you were OK with being rejected. Seungkwan knew you’d be, it was never something that harmed you deeply when it wasn’t someone you actually liked. He had only seen you suffering because of a person once, and ever since that day you just went for one night flings, running off from the possibility of having your heart broken again
“Do you know what he said, though?” Your silence was enough for him to keep going. “He said you weren’t his type because you were too uptight. You. Uptight.” Repeating himself felt necessary for the words to sink in, but you just giggled. 
“Someone who doesn’t know me at all, I’d say.” Even though your mood was good, Seungkwan’s piercing look made you drop the tiny mocking smile that was emerging on your face. 
“No. But you are. Now you are the most uptight, moralistic and puritanical person that I know and that realization just scared the shit out of me.” Seungkwan confessed without taking his eyes out of yours. “You said you would just give the diploma to your parents and do what you wanted. When is it gonna start?” 
You were speechless. Not because you were mad, or because Seungkwan was being unpleasant in any way, but because he was completely and utterly right. “What if you never see yourself being anything more than what you are now? Aren’t you going to regret it?” His words were like knives being stung to your heart. 
“I can’t leave a good job because of my childish dreams, Kwanie.” You tried convincing both of you. Truth was you were scared of not being as good at what you like as you were in that lame ass job. What if you tried and failed? Should you simply throw away something certain for a “what if”, a naive adolescent dream you once had? 
“When did you start hanging onto your comfort zone so cowardly?” Probably the alcohol had a big part on Seungkwan’s unrelenting words, and it probably had a part on your stomach aching as soon as they reached you. “Aren’t you sick of the way you’ve been keeping yourself from actually being happy?” 
“I gotta go.” You blurted, feeling dizziness take you over and a small urge to put all those extra shots you took out of your system. You left him there, and Seungkwan regretted his words as soon as he saw you marching towards the bathroom. Sometimes the truth would only hurt someone and he felt like that was one of those times where he should’ve kept quiet. 
You passed straight through Rae as you ran to the small door with a lady painted on it, feeling your dinner coming back as soon as you kneeled in front of the vase. After leaving the stall you knew it was time for you to go home. Seungkwan was sitting on the table again, but got up as soon as he saw you approaching. Rae was still making out with the same girl on another corner of the club, seeming to have so much fun you didn’t even think about bothering her. 
“Kwanie, I’m not feeling well, I’m going home. Tell Rae I’ll leave her key on our secret spot, ok?” He hesitated first, but called your name in a sad tone that almost made you want to puke again. Before he could say anything, you just reassured him what you wanted to believe was true.
“It’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll talk tomorrow?” You asked and he nodded, knowing damn well that chatting in his drunken state could possibly bring out more things he shouldn’t talk about. “Love you.” You said as you left, hearing him say it back as you walked out. 
It’s true that most days you don't recognize yourself anymore. If you told your past self, she would never believe that this is who you were now, that this was your current life. “I’m a lawyer now. I work overnight for multi millionaire companies and I haven’t seen the beach in years. I wasn’t able to go to Egypt and take that picture with the pyramids. I now have money to do so, but I don’t have time. I don’t have time for anything. It has been so long since I’ve done something for myself… But at the end of the day I have a job. I’m not unhappy.” What would she say? 
Would she call you out for being a coward like Seungkwan did? Probably yes. She would ask when did you become someone who was content with so little. You couldn’t tell when it was that you fell exactly into your parents trap and decided to be everything that you’re not. That you weren't. That the girl you used to know wasn’t, but you are. 
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chapter two - bad idea
“I thought you’d come around eventually. Seungkwan spent all of his savings renting this place and all we had to do was be there.” Rae was explaining to you once again why she bought your plane tickets when you had said with every single letter that you couldn’t go. Your face was buried inside your hands and you were about to lose all of your patience. 
“Yes, Raena, but that does not explain why on earth you did the check-in for me. I said a thousand times I cannot go. I wrote Seungkwan a fucking letter and gave it to you and you read it because you wanted to know what we talked about when you weren’t there, and it was 5k words on how sorry I was for not going.” You growled, knowing that now Seungkwan would feel your absence even during the flight by the empty seat where your ass should be. 
“I really wanted you to go, ok?” Rae lashed out, sticking her tongue out, and turning around in order to leave you alone in the kitchen as she always used to do when she was confronted and wrong. Your soft tone stopped her, and made her pout in front of you as she sat down on the other chair. 
“I really wanted to go.” You purred, mirroring the pout that just formed on your best friend’s face. “But my boss said that we’re about to get a big case, and also that I would be fired if I dared to ask for any vacation.” A huge sigh came out of you unintendedly and Rae stretched her hand to take yours, squeezing it in a comforting way. 
You hated every single bit of it. You hated missing Seungkwan’s birthday another year. You despised having to work for three years straight without even a glimpse of possibility to get some days off. You abhorred the fact that Seungkwan would be so disappointed at you, and more than that, the fact that he would never tell you how hurt he was by that until he was over it. It wasn’t your fault and you hated that it wasn’t. Not having a choice over your own life was excruciating and it made you ache deeply. 
“I should pack my luggages now, I still have a client tomorrow before the trip and I won’t have time to put everything together if I leave it for later.” She informed you and you clicked your tongue showing how frustrated you were by not doing the same thing. “By the way, when I come back I can retouch that ugly thing on your shoulder.” 
Raena knew you like the palm of her hand, so she knew dragging the subject even more would just harm you, and not convince you like she would like to. Your personality both amazed her and made her deeply angry, how stubborn you were but, at the same time, how you would always give 100% of yourself in everything you set your mind to. The way you took forever to make decisions most of the time, but eventually would wing some stupid idea and go through with it like you had planned it all along. And how loyal you were to everything you committed to: your friendship, getting to nationals with the raggedy college basketball team, that one painting class you took and simply couldn’t figure out how paint worked, and lately your stupid job.
 You both met at college, specifically when Raena spent about a month taking “Feeble Contracts” classes, absolutely sure it was the “Female Counteracts” optative she had chosen when the semester started. 
The look on her face when you told her there would be “no practice classes” because we wouldn’t want to make a weak contract was simply priceless, and you decided that she was someone you’d want to have around. 
Taking her to grab a coffee after explaining which class she was actually attending made you discover that she was taking an Arts Major and that she was without her glasses when she enrolled on that course, and was also dead sure that it was about personal defense for females. 
“Now all the men attending that class made sense.” She scoffed the word ‘men’ as if it was one of the vilest things on the planet, and you burst into laughter in no time. You also figured out her dream was to be a tattoo artist, and you told her about your passion for photography. 
On your 19th birthday she gathered her money with Seungkwan’s and they both gifted you your first film camera, a Pentax K1000 that, since that day, you used to take everywhere with you. And on her 19th birthday you gifted her your skin, for her to practice her tattooing skills - and also her first machine, but she never mentions that and you know for sure that the first one was more important. That “ugly thing” she had just mentioned referred to the first tattoo she ever made in real skin: a strawberry lined in red and green with a smiling face inside. It was your favorite tattoo because it was the most special for you and Rae. 
As you looked at your arm, reminiscing every fond memory behind those tattoos, you also remembered what Seungkwan told you two days before. “He said you weren’t his type because you were too uptight.” That phrase made a bitter laugh come out of you. So that’s what you had become after all, the thing you hated the most… how ironic was that?
You decided it was time for you to check your phone and discover what absurd request your boss had sent you on a Sunday night. Unsurprisingly you saw a lengthy email asking you to elaborate an appeal for a case that he told you he was sure wouldn’t need one when you suggested having it prepared beforehand. Jackass. You moved swiftly through your daily ritual of preparing enough coffee to keep you awake for the next six hours and sat on your bureau, adjusting your glasses, cracking your knuckles and getting ready to succumb to capitalism once more. 
Time flew as always, and before you realized the sun was already rising. You looked desperately at the time, realizing you still could have about two hours of sleep before going to work, and you decided to take that chance, practically passing out as soon as your face hit the pillow. Rae woke you up in what felt like an instant, asking you if you wanted some coffee. You mumbled a yes with your eyes still closed, and forced yourself into getting up. 
Every morning you used to give Raena a ride to her studio, and this morning was no exception, which helped lessen the burden of not enough hours of sleep you felt while driving. Nonetheless, eventually you found yourself alone in your car, listening to the same old morning radio show that played old songs, and that you were weirdly attached to. Thankfully it didn’t take you long to get to work, and when you least expected, you were being called at your bosses’ office for the 9 A.M. conference. 
Something felt off, especially because this time you were the only one there, and the head of the department had a weird sly smile on his face. You sat where you usually did, taking your glasses off for a second and cleaning in your button up shirt while you waited for the rest of the lawyers to get there. 
“So… I actually only called you here.” His raspy voice startled you, but you were able to compose yourself before he’d notice. You put on your glasses once again, taking a look at him. His fingers were tapping on the wooden table almost in a frenetic way and you could see small droplets of sweat forming in his forehead. This probably wasn’t good. 
“You know, you’re the best lawyer when it comes to any sort of corporate law, and we are super lucky to have you on our team.” The pampering was the second indication that whatever he was about to say wouldn’t be good for you, he didn’t usually compliment you at all, so listening to him doing so made a shiver work its way up through your spine. 
“Thank You, Mr. Luvidich.” Your dull tone couldn’t be helped, and you just hoped he was worried enough with whatever was going through his head to not be bothered by it. Once he just nodded and cleared his throat to continue to drone on, you knew your small act of insubordination passed by unnoticed.  
“I’m thinking about giving you the biggest case this law firm has taken in yet, and for that I’ll need you to do something for me. A big corporation had contacted us after being sued for some embezzlement allegations.” You were paying attention to his every word, wondering where it was going. “They gave us their accountability sheets and we need some of them to… Go missing. Would you be able to do that for us, sweetheart?” It took you a moment to fully understand what he was saying, but when realization finally hit you, you felt your mouth drop. 
“Are you asking me to destroy evidence?” You fumed, and his fingers hastily made their way to his mouth as he shushed you. You were infuriated that he would even think you would do such an unethical thing. 
“Look, sweetheart. We’d be just protecting our client. They have the right to our undivided loyalty. And I can’t do that, so I need you to do it.” He seemed angry, probably the idea of you refusing anything he’d proposed never crossed his mind, but neither did it cross yours that you’d receive such an absurd request. 
“Yes. But we, lawyers, also have to be truthful in our statements to others. How do you expect me to lie in court when I know that the truth is that the allegations can't be proven because I meddled with all the proof?” You kept your voice low, knowing that getting sensitive would only make you lose the argument. You are a lawyer after all, so one thing you knew you were good at was rationalizing your way out of things. 
Mr. Luvidich, on the other hand, didn’t seem calm at all. His forehead was wrinkled forming a huge frown and his lips were pressed onto each other as if he was trying his best not to yell at you at that very moment. 
“Work. Is. Work.” He spitted the words one by one. You looked at him, skeptical. If work is work, why wouldn’t he do it then? Why did he have to ask you? It was as clear as the day for you that you were his scapegoat. If you weren’t caught, they’d win the case and earn tons of money, and if you were, the only one with a dirty name and a failed career would be you. “And if you don’t agree to this now you won’t have a job tomorrow.” He said, deadpanned. 
Rage was burning inside you as you looked at that man dead in the eyes and saw him look back at you, shameless. You thought of many things to say, but he was quicker: “Don’t think I wouldn’t fire you just because our clientele likes you. There are hundreds of good lawyers in every corner of this damn town. This opportunity, whatsoever, is unique. And not taking my friendly suggestion is a bad idea.”
Seungkwan’s drunken words said on friday hit you at that very moment. “What if you never see yourself being anything more than what you are now? Aren’t you going to regret it?” You avoided thinking about them the entire weekend, fearing those few words would make you give up on everything you had built so far, but they came back to you vividly. 
The red light was right in front of you, and, at that moment, there was nothing you wanted to do more than running it, inconsequentially and thoughtlessly run it. And so you did. A smirk appeared on your face and the words left your mouth like you were dying to say them for a long time: “Well, maybe I need a bad idea.” You turned on your heels, hearing his voice sound once again before you reached the door. 
“If you leave this room you are fired.” He threatened, and you just turned around wearing a polite smile and a courteous expression. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll leave my resignation letter before I leave. I wouldn’t make you pay for my health insurance anymore, Mr. Ludovich. Have a good day.” You marched out of the room. In spite of your calm and collected expression, your heart was pounding as you wondered if that was actually the correct decision, but there was no turning back anymore. 
You wrote the smallest resignation letter in the world, leaving it to the firm’s secretary and telling her that you’d transfer your clients to other lawyers, and then you left the building you had spent - for the past three years - more time in than your own house. 
As you entered your car and started driving, you knew there wasn’t enough time for you to go home, let alone pack anything, so you just took your phone and called Rae instead. She picked up after a few rings, and you could hear the loud noises surrounding her. “Hey… Are there any cities near the lake house?” 
“Lake complex. Get your informations right, lady. And yes, the plane will land in the capital and then we’ll rent some cars to take us upstate.” You could hear Seungkwan’s voice in the background and a faint smile appeared on your face. That was the right thing to do and every step you took towards it made you more sure of it. You’d cross the bridge of unemployment when it came to it, but now you would get on that plane and see the proud smile on your friends faces when you tell them you quit your job. 
“Ok. Could you pass me my boarding ticket? I think I’ll be there in about 15 minutes. Is that enough time?” The loud squeak that came from the other side of the line almost made you deaf, and you said the first cuss word that came to your mouth when she did it. 
“Don’t fucking play with me you know I’m a fucking cancer I cry easily.” Rae’s comment made you giggle. “You should run, I think you’ll have to meet us on the plane. I’ll hang up now, I’m sending your ticket A.S.A.P.” 
Warmness filled your chest and a silly smile showed up on your face as you made your way to the airport. Maybe all that you needed was a pretty good bad idea like that.
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chapter three - rough starts
Mingyu was in complete distress and it showed. His cuticles had been almost completely removed by his teeth as he examined every person that was entering that aircraft. He was terribly afraid of heights, so the fact that his ticket landed him on a window seat was consuming him with fear that the person sitting next to him wouldn’t want to trade seats and he’d be forced into seeing the plane taking flight. 
As he looked around he saw many familiar faces, but none of them seemed to be paying attention to him. Seungkwan was crying about something one of his best girl friends had just told him, but since he had a large grin on his face Mingyu knew it was a good thing. Seokmin was talking to Jeonghan, who sat next to him, and he could see how fond Jeonghan was of him just by the way he paid deep attention to whatever nonsense the younger one was talking about. 
Wonwoo was reading something that, from that distance, seemed like a self-help book, but Mingyu could never be sure when it came to Wonwoo. Sometimes it was the most uplifting book he’d ever read, and sometimes Wonwoo would recommend a book that would completely break his spirit and leave him crying during countless dawns. No one familiar was sitting next to Wonwoo whatsoever. 
Many people were still getting into the plane, but none of them seemed to be going to the seat next to Mingyu’s, and when no one else appeared to be entering he sighed in relief, changing seats to the corridor one and just assuming that he’d be alone in that row for the flight. After fastening his seatbelt, he stretched his arms as much as he could. Even though it wasn’t a long flight, being as tall as he was always made those small spaces for his legs uncomfortable.
“Hey, this is my seat.” Mingyu turned immediately to you, seeing a rather odd scene. You were panting, and as much as the heavy breathing was starting to get controlled, it still was not completely. Many strands of hair had escaped the pony tail you had, and your face was blushing crimson, but it seemed that it was because you ran all the way there, and not any type of embarrassment. In spite of that, you held a friendly smile on your face as you adjusted your glasses that were almost in the tip of your nose. 
“Uhm… Mine is the window seat, but I’m kind of scared of heights. Could you change places with me?” He was a bit embarrassed. Everybody knew he was a big baby when it came to heights, and he remembered you from the bachelor’s party on friday, so he was pretty sure you were there for Seungkwan’s birthday trip and sooner or later the blond man would mention his greatest weakness only to annoy Mingyu, so he didn’t think twice before confessing it. 
“Sure.” You agreed, and he stood up quickly to let you pass. Mingyu observed you as you did it. You seemed different from friday. In a reckless movement you placed your bag under the seat in front of you, fastening your seatbelt and letting your hair down after a failed attempt to put the rebel strands back on the pony tail. As soon as you let your head rest on the seat, a small smile showed up on your face and Mingyu felt one forming on his as well. “Aren’t you sitting down again?” 
Mingyu nodded, taking the place he was before and sitting without glancing at you again, afraid you had noticed his silly smile. Not long after that, the plane started moving, and once again Mingyu felt uneasy, clutching onto the arm of the chair next to him. When the plane was about to take off, he felt you gently sliding your hand onto his, holding it in such a soft way it felt comforting. 
“You can squish it if you want.” You mentioned, not even hinting at looking at him, but that didn’t stop him from turning his gaze to you. He could see your words were sincere and there was no malice on them whatsoever, as you avoided looking at him to not make him more embarrassed than he already was. He held it as softly as you did, and you just squeezed his big hand in a reassuring way.
You could feel his grip getting tighter as the plane took flight, but soon enough the aircraft stabilized and he loosened it. When the “fasten seatbelt” sign turned off, you slowly let go of his hand, looking at him and seeing a rather sheepish expression on his face. 
“Don’t worry. I know I’m not your type. It’s just that I have claustrophobia so I know how dreadful it can be going through these kinds of situations.” Mingyu’s mouth dropped as you mentioned Friday night so carelessly, and mostly because he was now sure you knew what he said to Seungkwan that very night.
He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to know what to say, and you enjoyed watching him being shy for those seconds. He was cute. “That’s not…” Mingyu muttered, his voice was slurred and you just giggled at that. 
“Hey, Mingyu… It’s OK. You’re entitled to not feel attracted to someone, you know?” He was speechless, especially because at that very moment he was, indeed, faintly attracted to you. The way you said things so nonchalantly and the way you held his hand without even asking anything was something that made his heart flutter. “I was just joking, chill, bro.” You sounded playful and Mingyu allowed himself to smile, showing you his sharp teeth for the first time since you’ve been on that plane. 
“I guess we had a rough start, I didn’t even get your name…” He confessed and you nodded, blurting the word that always felt so weird for you to say out loud: your name. Maybe it was because you didn’t say it much, but introducing yourself always made you a bit uncomfortable, almost as if your name had no meaning. When Mingyu repeated it back to you, though, you felt completely different about it. He made it sound so soothing for some reason. “So maybe we could start over?” He had a flirtatious smile and he blinked slowly as he asked that, but you simply nodded. 
“Nah, you already called me uptight. I won’t ever forget that, Kim Mingyu.” You murmured, and his name coming out of your mouth in such a low pitch made him raise one side of his mouth and touch his canine teeth with his tongue. Yes, he was definitely attracted to you. “However, you calling me uptight was the main reason I ended up here, so if you agree on pulling this curtain down so I can sleep a bit we can work on being friends.” 
He observed you. Contrastingly to his way of speaking, you didn’t seem to be flirtatious at all, and Mingyu decided it was better to drop it at that point. “Thought you’d never ask.” He said, pointing to the curtains in a polite way, as to say that you could close it. 
It didn’t take long before your eyes closed shut, and when you opened them again you found yourself leaning on Mingyu’s shoulder. His head was leaning towards you as well, as he slept peacefully with his arm coiled up to yours. You feared that any abrupt movement could wake him up, but the loud cabin announcements started at that very moment.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you, or in the overhead compartments. Thank you."
Mingyu noticed the same you just had. You both fell asleep coiling to each other. Your glasses were crooked, almost falling from your face and that made a small laugh come out of Mingyu as soon as he realized. You clicked your tongue as you untangled your arms, stretching instantly and fixing your glasses on your face. 
Once the aircraft started descending, Mingyu held your hand again, and you just let him. Clapping started as soon as the plane landed, and checking some seats behind you, you saw Seokmin excitedly putting his hands together as another person that you were pretty sure was also one of Seungkwan’s friends looked at him clearing judging that choice. 
Shortly after that, you were inside Seungkwan’s arms as he muttered “You really came” a thousand times too much. They were waiting for their luggage, and you were taking advantage of the latency to explain what happened. You told them everything, and both Seungkwan and Rae badmouthed Mr. Ludovich almost as much as you had in your head. 
“... Now I gotta buy myself some clothes ‘cause I came empty handed.” You finished your monologue when they had retrieved their luggage, and Rae quickly offered to accompany you. Looking around you could see that there were about thirty people that came for Seungkwan’s birthday trip, and you thought to yourself how could someone have so many friends, but again, Seungkwan was very likable, so it made sense. 
All of his friends that you knew were there apart from Jay, that - as Raena told you - was on his honeymoon. Mingyu smiled at you as soon as your gazes met, and you smiled back. He was waiting for Seokmin, who was fighting against the treadmill to fetch his suitcase. Everybody else seemed to have their belongings with them, and eventually you were all crossing the street to rent some cars. 
You and Rae decided to rent one to yourselves, while everybody else got divided into minivans. Since you were rummaging for some much needed clothes and utensils, you parted ways with all of them before they could decide who would be in which car, leaving Rae’s luggage with Seungkwan and driving through the city. Mingyu saw you leaving, approaching Seungkwan as soon as you did.
“Where did she go?” He had a blasé expression that could have fooled anyone, but not Seungkwan, who rapidly squinted his eyes in Mingyu’s direction. “Did I say she? I meant ‘they’. Where did they go?” The half-hearted smile that took place on the tallest face made Seungkwan need to hold back a loud laugh that tried coming out. 
“They went shopping. But she is gay. Like 100% lesbian. She even lets me call her dyke some days. That gay.” Seungkwan said and Mingyu looked extremely confused by that. He bit his lower lip softly, frowning at the sound of that.
“Then how come did you ask me if I wanted to, and I quote, smooch smooch?” Seungkwan raised both of his hands, covering his soon-to-be-red face, remembering exactly that those were in fact the words he used. But then he realized. 
“Oh, I thought you were talking about Raena…” Mingyu sulked blinking a few times while Seungkwan looked at him bewildered. His lips turned into a huge pout as Seungkwan asked the following question. “Why the fuck do you want to know about her? Didn’t you say she wasn’t your type?” 
“People make mistakes, Seungkwan. And I hadn’t talked to her yet when I said that... Do you think I blew it already?” Seungkwan chuckled, dismissing all the eyes that turned to him as he tried not to loudly burst into laughter again because of Mingyu. “Seriously. Answer please.” 
“Well, unless you are very straightforward she probably won’t realize you’re flirting with her, because, in her head, she’s not your type. Like, she was rejected once, she wouldn’t set herself up to being rejected twice.” His analysis started and Mingyu paid close attention to his words. “But…”
“Yes. There’s a but. There’s a but!” He cheered, and Chan looked at him with a fuming gaze, pulling the strings of his backpack just enough so that it would cover his bum. “Hopefully not my butt.” He murmured and at that moment Seungkwan decided that it was his best birthday so far. Simply exquisite. Top notch entertainment and it hadn’t been a day in yet.
“But, if you don’t, like… Annoy her in any way… I think there’s a chance.” Mingyu smiled brightly, making his under eyes bulge and his sharp canines appear. Jeonghan showed up just as Seungkwan was finishing his phrase, giving Mingyu the car keys and asking him to be the designated driver, and after a small briefing about who would take which car, they all headed towards the Lake House Complex Seungkwan rented for the next two weeks. 
When you and Rae got there, it was already dark and you felt awfully tired. There were about six buildings surrounding a margin of the lake, and one of them didn’t seem to have any bedrooms in it. It was also the first one you both entered in. The wall had many key holders with letters on top of them, but only two of the keys were still there. 
“Seungkwan said these were the room keys, we get to choose our letters. I’ll take R, you can keep N.” Rae shot the words, picking up the key ring with her first letter engraved in it and you looked at her, outraged. It was, of course, just an act, and you intended to let her choose anyway, but seeing her justifying herself was fun for you. 
You both found out where your rooms were, and thankfully they were in the same building. Rae called Seungkwan, who told her he was - with mostly everyone - in the kitchen. Unfortunately the lack of sleep took a toll on you, and you told Raena you were skipping dinner that day and would just rest a bit. 
The room was bigger than you expected. It wasn’t big, but it had a double bed and a bathroom, alongside a porch with a beautiful view of the lake. After taking a hot shower, you took one of the clothes you had just bought from the shopping bag, put it on, and went straight to bed, falling asleep as soon as you did. 
Next thing you knew was a loud alarm sound waking you up. It was coming for the room next to yours, but you felt so tired you refused to even open your eyes, and not too long after that it stopped. The second time it went on, you opened one of your eyes, seeing some sun rays entering your bedroom while you took your own phone. 6:32 a.m. could be read on the led screen and you decided it was still too early, you’d sleep a bit more. The sound stopped again and you closed your eyes, hoping to get at least one more hour of sleep. 
When you were about to sleep again that damn alarm rang again. Your hand went straight to your phone, and you saw it was 6:57 a.m. This time it kept ringing as you covered your head with the pillow and tried to ignore it, but after about one minute of unstoppable ringing you decided to do something about it.
You got up, marching out of your room and going to the one where the loud noise was coming from. The strength with which you knocked on the “M” door was bigged than you’d antecipated, but you were so fucking pissed off you didn’t really toned it down in the following knocks. 
After a few knocks you heard the alarm being turned off, and some steps going your way, and you took one of your hands to your hair, brushing it back knowing damn well you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep after getting up like that. Mingyu’s face was puffy when he opened the door, he was wearing sweatpants and nothing else, and his hair was a complete mess. He looked disoriented and his eyes widened as he recognized you.
Mingyu felt his heart skip a beat as he scanned you from head to toes. Your hair was messy, but they framed your face so well that it seemed you intended them to be like that. As his eyes made their way down, he saw you were wearing a black shirt that was probably five sizes bigger than yours, and the big collar made it drop a bit on your left shoulder, leaving a snake tattoo you had on your collar bone exposed, as well as the countless other smaller tattoos that covered your arms. The shirt was so big it almost covered the shorts you were wearing, but he could still see the hem of them, along with another snake tattoo that ended in the middle of your thigh, but started somewhere he couldn’t see. 
He gulped at that vision, but when his eyes came back to yours they were piercing. “Turn that fucking alarm off, for fucks sake.” You hissed, turning back to your room and slamming the door shut.
Mingyu kept looking at the floor for a few seconds, still half asleep, and as he slicked his hair back with his hands he remembered Seungkwan saying that if he didn’t annoy you, he’d still have a chance. “Fuck. I only had one job.”
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chapter four - awaken
Rae was talking to Seungkwan in the kitchen when Mingyu showed up. He had thrown a shirt on top of his sweatpants and went straight to look for his friend, easily finding him drinking some coffee and chatting with the chocolate skinned girl. 
“I think I fucked up.” He had a half-hearted smile on his face and was scrunching his nose in a way that his small mole became very apparent. Rae stopped talking immediately, and both of them turned their gaze to the tall man. 
“What do you mean? Why are you awake? Didn’t you say you were waking up at seven thirty?” Seungkwan asked. Mingyu was completely shameless, so he didn’t mind that your best friend - who had never exchanged one single word with him - was also in the space, he was going to whine to Seungkwan until he reassured him that things weren’t completely lost. 
“So… You know how I always put like five alarm clocks so I can get up, right? The thing is…” His words fell as soon as you entered the kitchen. Your gaze was sharp and you scanned the whole place hoping to find yourself some coffee so you could be a functioning human being. Mingyu observed you with a faint smile on his face, almost as if he felt guilty. 
“Good morning, sunshine.” Seungkwan greeted you, but Rae touched his hand, calling out his attention and swayed her head from one side to the other, indicating that it wasn’t a good idea. 
“She’s not in a good mood, this means it’s only safe to speak to her after her first cup of coffee…” Rae whispered and Mingyu lowered his body in order to listen to it as well, receiving a confused look from Rae for his proximity. He just smiled widely at her, taking a seat at the chair next to her.
“Is she like that every morning?” Seungkwan whispered back, and Rae denied promptly, swaying her head once again and making her heavy curls swing gently from one side to the other. “Nah, just when she wakes up unexpectedly. Usually she’s… OK.” 
Seungkwan frowned at that, wondering if the almost twelve hours of sleep wasn’t enough for you, but again, your eyebags were so big he just figured you were as much tired as necessary  for it not to be enough. “Why the fuck did she wake up, then?” his question came out louder than he expected, and Mingyu was the one who regretted it the most. 
You sat down in front of them as you poured coffee in the biggest mug you could find. Your sharp eyes were fuming in Mingyu’s direction and Seungkwan realized, bursting into laughter as soon as he did. Rae got it a few seconds later and Mingyu once again had that embarrassed smile on his face. 
As soon as the gray smoke started to disappear from the coffee mug, you chugged it entirely, feeling the caffeine run through your veins and finally a bit of happiness surrounded you on that day. “Good morning.” You declared after a while, opening up a small smile and swifting your mood. “I’m a person again.” 
“You…” Your index finger pointed straight to Rae as you squinted, pressing both of your lips together into a thin line before continuing the phrase. “... Let’s switch rooms.” Rae giggled, denying promptly. 
“Hell no, you know I’m worse than you when people wake me up. For… Mingyu?” She turned her attention to him, asking if that was actually his name, and when he nodded she continued. “For Mingyu’s sake, I must not stay in a room next to five alarm clocks.” 
“There were five?!” You squeaked and Mingyu scrunched his nose, giving the fakest closed-mouthed smile you had ever seen. Your hands went straight to your forehead, as you tried to make peace with the fact that everyday you’d be woken up by that infuriating sound. 
“You should go for friendship. I guess that’s the max you're gonna get with this.” Seungkwan whispered into Mingyu’s ears and he dropped his shoulders, defeated. “Ok. Since you guys are here, you are going to receive this first hand!” The blond man blurted, getting up, but not before giving you a dirty look when he saw you pouring more coffee onto the mug, and getting out of the kitchen for a few seconds. 
“Do you guys want breakfast?” You asked Rae and Mingyu. The first one denied, it was rare for Rae to eat anything in the morning and even though you’ve lived together for almost five years now, you still couldn’t fully figure out her meal times. Mingyu, on the other hand, stood up just as you did. 
“I could make you something. I’m a good cook.” He mentioned, slurring the words because of how fast he was talking. It almost made it sound like he had a lisp, but you could tell it was not the case. At that very moment, a loud growl came out of your belly, as if it was demanding for food. 
“Shall we both make something? Then it can be ready sooner.” You proposed and Mingyu agreed. He suggested some omelets and you promptly agreed, going straight to the fridge and getting all the vegetables you used to utilize to make that plate. Seungkwan came back not much later, with a bunch of papers in hand. 
You slided a slice of carrot inside your mouth, calming your stomach, and then started slowly drinking the second mug of coffee. “Are you guys making me one as well?” Seungkwan asked, sitting exactly where he was, and watching amused as you and Mingyu were almost in perfect synchronization while cutting vegetables. 
“Yes, can you see that there are no tomatoes on this pile? It’s yours.” Mingyu responded and Seungkwan smiled brightly. He slid a piece of paper to Rae and cleared his throat, putting one of those in front of him, and started reading. 
“Booday S(eung)chedule: Fifteen Days of F(e)u(ngkwa)n” Rae was astonished while looking at the paper and as soon as Seungkwan announced the content of it you knew why. You and Mingyu shared a look before bursting into laughter. Seungkwan never ceased to amaze you with his amazing brain and lowkey cringeworthy sense of humor. You loved it, and even though you were almost crying with laughter, you let an “I fucking love you.” slip out of your mouth. 
“Puns intended.” He clarified and that almost caused you to cackle again, but you were able to recompose yourself, and so did Mingyu. You got up and started beating the eggs while he finished cutting the vegetables. “First Day: S(eungk)wan Lake. Where I take you to marvelous Lake Richboro and force you to do water activities.”  
He kept reading his plans for that first day on the lake, which included jet skis, waterboarding, wakeboarding and many others. As you were still stirring the eggs, you felt Mingyu’s presence behind you. “There are some slices of carrot left, do you want some?” His voice was low since he didn’t want to disturb Seungkwan, and you felt a small wave of electricity moving through your body, leaving from the exact point his breath touched your skin. 
“Yeah.” The word was murmured, and you saw Mingyu nod, before going back to the table. Seungkwan was still talking about what else all of you could do in the lake that day, and advising you to use sunscreen, when Mingyu’s hand appeared in front of you. He was holding one slice on that hand, and a few more on the other. Since your hands were busy, he took his hand straight to your mouth, placing the slice of carrot in front of it, and you felt a bit shy before taking it. 
He seemed unconcerned as he waited for you to open your mouth, and after a few seconds you did. His sharp teeth soon showed up in the most gorgeous smile you had ever seen, and he proceeded to put one slice into his own mouth. For some reason that disconcerted you a bit, seeing the same finger that had just touched your lips touching his. Mingyu offered you another slice as soon as he started chewing, and you took it without giving it much thought. 
“Ok, now leave it with me.” Mingyu asked as soon as you finished beating the eggs, standing in front of the stove and flashing you another smile. You sat down, holding the mug with the coffee - which by that time had already cooled down -, and waited patiently for your omelet. 
“Did you know I got the wakeboarding just for you?” Seungkwan called your attention and you were finally able to take your eyes off the small veins that were starting to appear on Mingyu’s arms as he flipped the omelet on the air. Your forehead puckered and your head tilted slightly to the side as you thought about it. 
“I… wasn’t coming, Kwanie.” You said slowly. A line could be seen between your brows as your face contorted itself into a confused look, but the corner of Seungkwan’s mouth turned up into a presumptuous smile. 
“Yes, and I was gonna use that against you.” He said blatantly. “I even rented a wakeboard and you didn’t come. Do you think that’s right? My gift better be expensive.” He dramatized every single word and at the end of it your mouth was opened wide with his audacity. Before you could complain, Mingyu placed the omelets on the table, taking a seat next to yours, and blinking at you while he made a small noise with his tongue. 
On top of yours, the word “sorry” was written with thin pieces of carrot and he was smiling at you like a puppy who just brought back the ball you tossed. You nodded, and he beamed. All of you - with the exception of Rae - started eating, and you could tell just by that simple dish that Mingyu wasn’t lying when he said he was a good cook. 
Some others arrived at the kitchen, making themselves some breakfast as well. Eventually Jessica, Seungkwan’s oldest friend, was the only one missing, and he decided to go after her to deliver the schedule for the next two weeks. 
Seungkwan had thought of many fun activities, including - of course - karaoke basically every night. He was a good singer and, because of that, he was completely obsessed over karaoke. You never complained because his voice was way too good for you to not like hearing it, but things started to get a bit messy when Rae drank enough to think that she was pitch perfect. 
Sooner than later the big kitchen started to look small, packed with many faces and filled with the noises of random unsynchronized conversations. That was when you decided it was time for you to leave, so you got up quietly, taking all the empty plates that were left on the table, and decided to wash the dishes.
Chan’s hysterical laugh echoed in the kitchen as soon as he started reading the paper Seungkwan had left in front of him, and that probably covered the sound of Mingyu’s steps towards you. It was only when you heard his voice that you noticed his presence. 
“I can wash that if you want…” He said, almost making you drop the plate you were thoroughly washing. It flew from your hands, but you were able to catch it before it hit anywhere near the sink, and then you sighed. “Wow, those are some good ass reflexes. I could never do that.” 
“And you expect me to let you wash anything? I mean… that comment did not help your case at all, Kim Mingyu.” You said it facetiously and you saw Mingyu biting his lower lip trying to contain a smile. “It’s OK, you cooked, I clean. Next time I’ll cook and you’ll clean. It’s the sacrifices we must make for a good coexistence.” You gave a lopsided grin, making a small dimple appear on your face. 
“Do you expect me to turn off all the alarms? I don’t think I can wake up without them…” He stammered and you let a small giggle emerge as you denied, moving your head slightly from one side to the other. 
“No, but can we tone it down for like… three?” Mingyu felt something flourish on his chest with the gaze you gave him after the question. Could anybody deny you anything ever? If he had to bet, he would bet in “no”. She must’ve been a good lawyer. He thought to himself, convinced that you were using some sort of technique to get what you wanted from him, and to make him feel that weird way. 
Mingyu knew damn well that three alarm clocks usually weren’t able to wake him up. He would instinctively turn off the first four, and only on the fifth he would actually wake up… Or activate the snooze mode. Either way he sounded confident when he responded, and decided that he would make that work. He wanted to make that work, and he didn’t quite figure out why, because it was still too soon for him to believe that the reason was right in front of his eyes: you.
“I’ll make it two if you can beat me on wakeboarding today.” 
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chapter five - no way in hell
Feeling better after the - maybe too much - coffee and the breakfast you just had, you decided to go on a reconnaissance mission on the property, that seemed way prettier now than it did the day before.
The building you were currently in was the main building. Differently from the other buildings, it faced the road and not the river, but at the left side of it there was a path that led straight to a huge pier. You realized how tired you were last night because it had gone completely unnoticed by you until that very moment. 
The pier was wooden, and there was an apparent rustic lounge in the middle of it, which obscured your vision of the rest of it. The building you had just left was bigger than the others, even though they were all two story ones. 
On the ground floor of the main building there was a living room, with some round tables, many beanbags, a huge sofa that could probably fit two football teams, and wooden stairs that could take you to the first floor. There was where you could find the kitchen. When it came to rooms, there were seven buildings arranged in a semicircle, with a huge pool in the middle of them. Three of them facing the lake - including the one where your room was -, and the other four facing the mountains. 
You took the long way to your room, circling the pool and seeing that everything was mostly deserted. “Of course, they’re all in the kitchen”, you thought, deciding to speed up and get ready for Seungkwan’s plans for the day. 
Taking way too long in the shower was something you haven’t done in a while, since you always seemed to be in a rush lately. As you felt the cold water hitting your head in a soothing massage you thought to yourself what kind of life you were living, if that small, mundane thing, had caused you such a happy feeling. 
“How can I be this happy if I’m fucking unemployed?” The words came out of your mouth in spite of you being alone. No. They came out of you because you were alone. This was the first time you confronted reality since yesterday and you couldn’t let a small sneer come out alongside that realization.
As your mind started spinning, the drops of water stopped feeling like a massage and started feeling as torture, so you turned the faucet off. Math was never your strong suit, but you started adding up the numbers: You had enough money saved for you to last about a year, could you find a job until then? Yes. The answer came promptly. A small smile replaced that self-harming sneer you had just now, you had time. You could enjoy this. Looking for a way of living would be a problem for the “you” that lived two weeks ahead. Not now-you. Now-you were going to put on a bathing suit and relish this. Rae knocked on your door as soon as you finished putting sunscreen on, asking for you to lend her yours. 
“How come you forgot sunscreen?” You asked, while helping to reach her lower back. It was a surprise for you that Raena would forget anything skin-related, since she was practically an ambassador of skincare. There had not been a day since she hadn’t forced you to put sunscreen on to go to work, mumbling something about you thanking her later. 
“I brought sunscreen… But just the facial one. I was so worried about bringing my lotion so I don’t get ashy that I forgot the body cream.” She sounded defeated, and as soon as you finished covering every last spot of her body - especially her tattoos - you handed her your sunscreen. 
“Take this one. I bought two because I forgot to mark it on my emergency bucket list when we went shopping yesterday.” Her face lit up with the most beautiful smile, and she held your face with both hands, landing a kiss on your right cheek that almost felt like a slap. 
“What would I be without you?” She asked, pulling you out of the room. Once you entered the main house, Jessica was coming down the stairs by herself. She hadn’t arrived in the kitchen until you left, so you could only imagine that she was going back to her room after breakfast. Rae tensed up a bit as soon as she saw her, and you both were greeted by a warm smile on Jessica’s face. 
“Are you guys already going to the pier?” Her bangs were perfectly aligned and she was already wearing a bikini that was peaking out around her neck from her shirt. You nodded, and Rae followed you along. “Great! I’ll just brush my teeth and will be there in a minute.” 
“See you there. It’s a date. Haha.” The awkwardness on Rae’s phrase was almost palpable for you, and were you not too shocked to do anything other than stare at your best friend, you would have wheezed at the very fake laugh she gave at the end of the phrase. “The door, let’s…” She mumbled at you, pushing you towards the glass door that led to the pier. Your mouth was still open, but as soon as Jessica got distante enough you smirked her way.
“So we’re attracted to Jessica. I see.” You commented nonchalantly, and Rae raised her middle finger without giving you a glance. “I’ll take that as a yes. Is she… you know… a woman-kisser-type?” A huge pout appeared on your friend’s face as she sulked, and she dramatically shrugged her shoulders. 
“I. Don’t. Know.” She said the phrase slowly and in such a low whisper you mostly read her lips instead of actually listening. Both of her hands went to her cheeks, framing her face and making the pout grow bigger. “I mean she has short nails. Yesterday in the kitchen she said her favorite show was Orange is The New Black… That’s pretty gay. But I don’t know.” 
You watched her scrutinizing the whole interaction they both had while you were sleeping and for the first time you wished you had decided to have dinner the night prior. Rae’s gaydar was shit. Yours was way better, even though she was much more involved in the LGBTQ+ shenanigans. “Did you ask Seungkwan?” You checked, knowing her well enough to realize that such an easy way out of the doubtful state wouldn’t be perceived by a panicked Raena. 
“Shit. Seungkwan must know. I’m an idiot.” The wheeze you held in earlier came on full force, of course she didn’t ask. What that indicated to you, whatsoever, was that Jessica was an actual crush, and not just some pretty girl Rae would like to hook up with and never talk to again. “How about you, are you eyeing anyone here? Jeonghan’s cute.”
“Of fucking course you’d pick the most feminine man out of them all. You are so predictable.” She just shrugged again after saying that he was her type. Rae went silent for a while, stopping you as soon as you both stepped on the pier. 
“How about Rugel?” An expression of complete disgust took over your face and Raena remembered Friday, where Rugel was almost getting on his knees, begging Jay to bring some strippers. “Ew. No. You’re right… Just Kim Mingyu then.” 
You looked at her, sticking your tongue out before admitting. “He’s my type, what can a girl do?” She giggled at the way you said the phrase, but your shoulders dropped after you said the next phrase: “I’m not his, though. So I’ll just… enjoy my friends on this trip I guess?” 
“Leave me out of it, don’t fucking cockblock me.” You pushed her softly, and she pushed you back, giggling at your fake pout. “You are very charming. Couldn’t you change his mind? He seems to be more open to you… I noticed today. But that could also be him being terrified, I can’t understand the straights.” She gestured vaguely, and said the words as if she was talking about a totally different species. You bit your lower lip, trying to keep your voice down. “I actually don’t know? Mingyu seemed to be flirting a bit with me lately, but I don’t know if…” 
“Nah, that’s just Mingyu being Mingyu.” Seokmin’s voice startled you, making you blurt out a jumble of words that made no sense. “Oh sorry. Did I scare you?” He asked and you fumed him, feeling your heart trying to burst out of your chest. 
“You think?!” He smiled awkwardly, but it still made his eyes vanish. Rae was squinting at him, she knew Seokmin was also good friends with Jessica and she was struggling between deciding if she should ask him about her sexual orientation or whether he had heard the conversation you both were having. 
“Were you listening?” She decided to go for the safest option for her. She knew Seungkwan well enough to know he would keep her secret, but she knew nothing about Seokmin besides that he had great teeth and apparently was good at entering conversations. The man denied, swaying his head from left to right, making his silky hair glow under the sunlight. 
“No. No.” He was quick to explain himself, a bit surprised that the most scary of you two at that moment seemed to be Rae, and not you. “I went to get UNO cards for us to play and I heard you talking about Mingyu flirting… He’s like that. He flirted with my grandma when we went to visit her. It’s… the only way he knows how to be nice I guess?” You nodded and Rae let out a sigh of relief. Her secret crush would live another day.
“It’s okay with me. I wouldn’t want to hook up with him anyway. I still have some pride, you know?” You declared, and Raena giggled at the rapid change of heart you had when Seokmin got involved in the conversation. 
“Oh, come fucking on. His boobs are bigger than mine, of course you would hook up with him.” That damn slick smile on her face made your blood boil. She knew you well enough to know that when you want something you get, but at the same time you’re a prideful bitch that misses out on opportunities because of some hurt ego. Mingyu, whatsoever, didn’t hurt your ego, so there was no way in hell you would pass up that opportunity if it came to you eventually.
“What’s the point of such big manboobs if there’s no heart behind them? There’s no way I’d hook up with Kim Mingyu. End of story.” You guaranteed. Seokmin was switching his gaze from you to Rae, but he soon cleared his throat, almost demanding your attention.
“Changing subjects, do you guys want to play UNO? I must warn you, though… Seungcheol is a bit competitive…” A grin showed up on your face as you nodded excitedly. Rae and Seungkwan usually avoided playing with you because they said that you could get too worked up when it came to any sort of card games, but deep down you felt like they were just bad losers and you were a good player. 
Rae looked at you, and then to Seokmin. She knew you, and she knew what a competitive bastard you were… Probably she couldn’t handle two of you in the same game, that would be too much of a hazard for her to take. Besides, she could always lay under the sun to get a bit tanned while you were cursing yourselves over colored cards. 
“Are we playing UNO? I love UNO!” Jessica’s voice echoed from a small distance, and you saw Rae’s gaze change. The person that seemed settled on setting the game aside had vanished from her eyes, and a Rae that was willing and excited to play UNO appeared instead. 
“Yeah! I’d love to play UNO. UNO’s the best…” She seemed unsure, but probably you were the only one who knew Raena enough to notice. Her feeble smile made a presumptuous smirk show up on your face, but as Seokmin and Jessica finally entered the lounge, she just place her index finger on one of the lenses of your glasses - something she used to do constantly simply to annoy the shit out of you - and stuck her tongue out marching in. 
“You’re no better than a man.” You declared, taking off your glasses to clean that stupid fingerprint.
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chapter six - draw four
“You cannot stack a draw four on top of a draw two. It’s against the rules.” You nagged as Seungcheol’s cheeky grin faded after trying to turn your two remaining cards into twelve. 
“Says who?” His eyes turned big as he sulked, almost like he was defying you with a presumptuous look, but you just sulked back, squinting your eyes and trying to assert your dominance. There was no way that man would make you draw ten cards when you were so close to winning. 
Since the UNO games had started, you had won twice and Seungcheol three times. The small spark of competitiveness turned into a fire as soon as he said your first win was “sheer luck”, and even though Seokmin had also won three times, he was completely ignored by the two of you, who started competing against each other to see who would win more.
“UNO rules.” You picked up the draw four card from the pile, giving it back to him. “Now be a man, pick up the fucking six cards and make me pick up four next time.” His mouth dropped, but when he looked around he could see that everyone was on your side. Fuck, Seungcheol thought to himself. He reached for the draw pile, counting the six cards as you smiled victoriously.
“Good boy.” His head turned to you quickly, bearing a fuming gaze and pierced eyebrows. He took the hair elastic from his wrist, and tied the upper half of his hair, leaving just the bleached part down. “It’s on.” The words came out in a low pitched voice, and you just replied with a cocky smile and a wink, that seemed to make him more frustrated. 
“The last time I’ve experienced this kind of unnerving match was soccer I guess…” Jessica whispered to no one in particular, but was easily heard by Mingyu and Rae, who were sitting by her side. Mingyu was observing your interaction with a weird feeling on his chest that he couldn’t distinguish what was. 
“World Cup?” Rae asked. At that time, you had just reversed the game and called UNO, making Seungcheol more pissed than he already was, and the small kiss you blew to him was enough to make Mingyu turn his attention completely to the girls next to him, wanting to see no more of that interaction.
“Nah. FIFA. My 12 year old brother was playing against our 31 year old neighbor and things were… intense. Charles moved out with his wife after that game…” A loud cackle came out of Rae while Mingyu pushed his lips together trying not to laugh loudly. He closed his eyes and let his body fall back as Rae murmured “Poor Charles” while she tried to gasp for air. 
“Which one is which, though?” Mingyu asked after recovering, wiping a few tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes. The laughter called the attention of Wonwoo, who was sitting next to Mingyu, and Robin - one of Seungkwan’s closest co-workers -, who sat next to Raena. 
“That depends on who wins at the end…” She was serious, and that made Mingyu want to laugh all over again. Joshua asked what was that about, being filled in by Mingyu and wheezing as soon as he did. 
“I actually think they’ll end up dating. That's the classic “rivals to lovers” trope.” Robin commented quickly and Mingyu sulked, biting his lower lip and feeling an animosity appear between him and the small girl. 
“Oh, that’s my favorite fanfiction trope.” Wonwoo commented unintendedly, and as the four of them gave him shocked looks he cleared his throat and adjusted his posture before correcting himself in a very unconvincing way. “Book trope. I meant book trope.”
“Pay attention to the game, please?” Seungcheol’s voice echoed amongst the lounge, and Wonwoo noticed it was his turn to play. He dropped any card, being followed by the other four one by one.
“I don’t think he’s her type.” Mingyu resumed the conversation, talking specifically to Robin, but making himself be heard by the other people that were paying attention. He glanced once again to you, watching as you smirked at Seungcheol while he sulked watching no one changing the color that he knew for a fact you had. 
“Oh, he is. Competitive... Nice smile... Funny… Defying her like that, but also was kind to her, giving her his pillow for her to sit down as soon as we arrived… Fire sign... He’s totally her type.” Rae raised a finger at every characteristic she could point out that made Seungcheol someone who you would be attracted to, and Mingyu’s mouth formed a pout that got bigger for every finger she’d raise. “Actually yeah, that could turn into something more by the end of these weeks, you’re totally right, Robin.” 
“That’s 3-3, Cheolie.” You said as you discarded your last card, and Seungcheol dropped his cards furiously. Mingyu dropped his as well, and suddenly he didn’t feel like playing UNO anymore. He couldn’t cope any longer with the discomfort on his chest and decided it was time for him to do anything else. 
“Aren’t you playing anymore?” Your voice caused an electric wave to run through his body, and suddenly the discomfort grew into a throb on your chest. The bright smile you had on your face contrasted deeply to the audacious smiles you threw Seungcheol’s way through the last four games, but it made him smile back. 
“Yeah. I’m just… going to get my phone.” He scanned the room and made up an excuse last minute, seeing his phone charging on a corner not that far. Your smile grew and Mingyu felt hypnotized by it. The way your nose scrunched, the way your cheeks would lift so much that your eyes almost vanished, the odd placement of your tongue that made the smile look so pure and at the same time so provocative… Everything was endearing to Mingyu, and made his heart pound. 
“Guys, it’s almost time for the beginning of my morning schedule.” Seungkwan nagged. Apart from the two of you, everyone seemed to be playing just to pass the time, and just the mention of the beginning of the - so called - “S(eungk)wan Lake Day” started to lift everyone’s spirits. 
“Ok. I’ll just beat Cheol’s ass on this one last game and then we can go to the lake.” Once again the presumptuous smile showed on your face, and Mingyu sat down to see Seungcheol copy that look while you fixed your glasses. 
“How about that? We’re 3 to 3, whoever wins this will be the champion, and the loser will get flicked on the forehead.” Seungcheol suggested and you promptly agreed.
“I’m in.” Seokmin blurted out, seeing the two of you look at him like adults watching a six year old saying they’ll go all in on a poker game where he was just a spare wheel. You just ignored it, dealing the cards. You and Seungcheol kept bickering the entire game, stacking attack cards on top of each other to prevent the other from winning at every possibility. 
“UNO. I want the color yellow.” Seokmin yelled the words, and both you and Seungcheol let a loud “Fuck” slip out of your mouths at the same time. Seokmin wasn’t sitting next to either of you, but he was closest to you. Chan was in between you two, and Seungcheol was sitting on the other side, making the order be: Seungcheol, You, Chan, Seokmin. 
Your nemesis looked at you as the others played their cards, and he slowly showed you a yellow +2 card he had on his hand. You smiled brightly, showing him two +2 cards you had in your own hands, and as if your brains were connected you understood perfectly what he was indicating when he waved his head slightly to Chan.
“Pss, Lee Chan.” You whispered, sliding one of your +2 cards his way and winking. He, on the other way, looked displeased, denying the card with a sulky face. You insisted, sliding the card to him once again, and he swayed his head from one side to the other as he slid the card back. 
“I just have two cards, I won’t get one of yours.” He seemed obstinate. Seungcheol, who was paying attention to every single bit of it, made a discontent sound. You bit your lower lip, trying to think of a way to prevent Seokmin from winning. 
“What are we gonna do?” As you pretended to stretch, you closed the gap between you and Seungcheol to whisper in his ear, but before he could answer, Jeonghan dropped a Wild Card, calling out for the color red. You were relieved and you could see Seungcheol was also. 
“Bet he stole that before the game began just so he could use it now.” He whispered at you and you let out a small giggle. That round was truce between you two, neither of you needed to word it for you to know, and that was why Seungcheol discarded a red four, even though you knew he had a plus four that you’ve got a glimpse of when he was showing you his plus two. 
“UNO. Yellow.” Chan howled excitedly, making both of your smiles drop at an instant. He was so focused on his own game that he paid Seokmin’s game no mind, and that bit you and Cheol on your asses. Chan was smiling brightly, gaze fixed on his card and waiting for someone to discard the same number so that he could win before his turn could arrive - it was a house rule that you could ‘cut’ the game if you had called UNO. It obviously didn’t happen, as Seokmin placed his last card on the pile, making you and Seungcheol throw your cards completely vexed. 
Everyone seemed excited with that outcome but the two of you. Seokmin ran towards Mingyu, throwing himself in his arms to celebrate, and Jeonghan couldn’t stop laughing at Chan's confused face, realizing he had just lost. Seokmin got up, starting to crackle his fingers. 
“Give me your foreheads, I’ve won four times. I am THE champion.” He stretched the word more than necessary and you felt vanquished. He was the champion and you were the loser. Fuck. 
With a big pout on your face, you brushed your hair back with your fingers, exposing your forehead. “Ok. Get it over with. I admit defeat.” Mingyu giggled at the way you said it, you looked outrageously cute. Seokmin crackled his fingers a bit more, shaking his hand and suddenly holding his middle finger with his thumb. 
“Don’t hit her too hard.” Mingyu found himself speaking without even noticing, and that distracted Seokmin, who ended up missing the right spot on your forehead and only grazing his middle finger. He looked furiously at Mingyu, who just raised his hand slowly, giving him a thumbs up with a half hearted smile. Seungcheol didn’t have the same luck, and you giggled at the red mark that started forming on his forehead. 
Everyone headed towards the lake, but you decided it was best for you to leave your glasses at your room before losing them like you did on your last trip to the beach. As Seungkwan started to guide everyone out, you faced towards the path that led to the main house. 
“Are you always that competitive?” Mingyu started to trace the same way you did, catching up with you in no time. You slowed your pace until he did, and then you started walking together. Looking at him, you saw a curious look on his face, and a closed-mouthed smile waiting for your response. 
“Yeah…” You were quick to confess. It was a part of you that you weren’t exactly proud of, but it still was a part of you, so you never felt like hiding, and Mingyu had just experienced the whole thing, so you were sure lying wouldn’t be effective. “To be honest I usually don’t give up until I win. I just didn’t suggest another UNO game because Seungkwan would murder me, and by murder I mean…” 
“Not talking to you for six months and then crying while nagging about you not respecting his wishes on his birthday?” Mingyu asked and you just raised one of your eyebrows. He opened another smile, making his teeth show up this time and immediately biting his lower lip especially with his canines. 
“I was going to say ‘yell’, but damn that was specific. Are you ok?” His face made you giggle, and he giggled as soon as you did. He pretended to be wiping some tears off his face as he rambled “I’m ok. I’m ok.”, which made you giggle again. Mingyu felt accomplished. He would do anything to hear that sound once more, but his fast brain made a connection that it probably shouldn’t and he got serious all of a sudden. 
“If you don’t give up until you win, why did you give up on me so easily?” His question made you stop giggling, but you didn’t notice how serious he was about it, continuing to walk thoughtlessly. 
“Simple. You’re not a game.” You responded unhinged. “Winning a game is up to me, someone being attracted to me is not.” Silence took over as Mingyu thought of your words. There was something else he wanted to ask, but no combination of words seemed to express exactly what it was. 
“What if I wanted it to be a game?” He was actually trying to say that he did not want you to give up, but as soon as the words were spoken he realized that not even he understood the phrase that way. 
“Well, if it was a game… It’s like you stacked four plus fours, making me pick up sixteen as soon as the game started. Does that make sense?” You had finally arrived at the building where your room was, but him following you along didn’t seem odd since his room was next to yours. You’d just figured he also had something to leave or take from his room. 
“I annoyed you?” He asked, slightly worried, but you giggled, stopping at the front of your door, and seeing him stop as well. You slowly moved your head from one side to the other. 
“No. I just knew that it was a game I couldn’t win.”
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chapter seven - bitter secret
When you left your room again, Mingyu was still standing in the same position he was before. You squinted involuntarily, trying to get a better glimpse of his face, but since he was more than ten inches away, your attempt was unsuccessful. 
“You’re still here.” The remark was more to you than to Mingyu, but he nodded, tilting his head slightly towards the only way out of the building, as if he was inviting you to leave. In a very natural movement he offered his hand for you to take, and once again you found yourself squinting, this time to make sure that it was actually happening. The step you took was reckless, but your actions were more reckless than that, as you reached out for the hand he was offering you and let him pull you out of the building. 
“Had to make sure you weren’t cheating, I’m way too accustomed to Yoon Jeonghan, I fear.” Mingyu was walking in front of you as he guided you through the corridors, and for that tiny moment you let him do it, ignoring the soft touch of his hand on yours, the absence of sweat on his palms this time, the warmth of his fingers that contrasted with your usually cold ones. You ignored all of it, because if you thought for a second about it you would know that holding his hand was a stupid thing to do. 
When you left the building you let go of his hand, and for the first time he seemed flustered, as if only then he had noticed he was holding your hand so nonchalantly this entire time. “Have you done it before? Wakeboarding?” You asked, making the awkward tension that had installed between you two vanish, and you walked a bit faster to get to his side. 
“Uh hum.” Mingyu answered. He had a small smirk on his lips, but you couldn’t actually see it well enough to fully understand what he meant by it, so you just decided to look where you were heading and not the one beside you. “I’m actually pretty good at it, you’re screwed. Have you done it before?” 
“Nope. Never.” The words made him stop, running your way as soon as he saw you almost hitting your head on the branch of a tree that was a bit too low. Your eyes were fixed on the ground, and because of that you missed the tree, but Mingyu’s hand went straight to your forehead, getting in the way of it and the branch, as he gently placed his hand to protect your face. 
“Hey! Be careful! I’m not used to being the least clumsy one, you know?” He nagged and you giggled at that comment. “You’ve never been wakeboarding and yet you made a bet with me? That’s a bit stupid.” 
“Just because it’s stupid it doesn’t mean it’s wrong… And stupid’s usually more fun, you know?” You justified yourself, watching him trip on absolutely nothing as he tried to match your pace. “I’m very athletic, I’ll be fine. You, on the other hand, are about to be beaten by someone who has never wakeboarded before… That’s a bit embarrassing.”
“Guess I’ll be keeping my three alarms then.” His smug look made you want to win so bad you almost started running towards the pier to get the competition started. You probably wouldn’t win, you knew that even before Mingyu told you that he had tried it before, but seeing him smile like that made you glad you agreed to that bet.
As you approached the pier, you saw the boat already connected to a tow cable, alongside with a wakeboard and a few wakeboarding boots scattered around the place. Jeonghan was trying to find boots that would fit him, while Rae was standing next to Jessica and Seungcheol, who were playing rock, paper, scissors for some reason you didn’t know. 
Some people were on the water, playing on a separated part of the lake that was shallower than the one where the boat was in. They played with a ball and you wondered if you would have time to do that too. 
“Yes!” Jessica screamed, and you decided to go there before finding out what you would need to go wakeboarding. She was holding two fingers up and Seuncheol was looking at his open hand regretfully. “Do you wanna go jet skiing with me, Raena?” 
Rae’s face started tinting gradually while Jessica had her eyes directed towards her. She nodded awkwardly and the redness spreaded more when the red-haired girl grinned brightly and started to look for life jackets. “Dude, get a grip.” You whispered to your friend and that was enough to wake her up. She went after Jessica, helping her with the life jacket and letting the girl help her to put on hers. 
“You lost again… How lame.” You murmured to Seungcheol and his eyes started fuming you. A big pout formed on his mouth and you knew he was about to nag, but Mingyu’s loud voice muddled any train of thought Seungcheol had going on, and he just stood there glazing at you.  
“Ya… Yoon Jeonghan is pretty good at it.” His voice was a bit louder than normal and he just meddled in between you and Seungcheol, stopping in a way that made you both take a step back, furthering away from each other.  Mentioning Jeonghan’s name was enough to rip the pout out of Seungcheol’s face and turn the frown into a mesmerized look. He was, indeed, pretty good at wakeboarding, despite his not-so-athletic looks. 
While you were almost hypnotically following Jeonghan with your eyes, you landed on Jessica and Raena trying to hop on a blue jet ski that was parked on the last spot of the pier. The red-haired girl was cackling at something that Rae said, and the latter was smiling proudly at the scene. 
“Is Jessica single?” The question was blurted out unintentionally, but it was enough to make both Mingyu and Seungcheol take their eyes off of Jeonghan and turn them to you. There was no point in going back with your question, so while they looked at you, unsure if the question was rhetorical or actually aimed at one of them, you simply raised one eyebrow, almost demanding an answer. 
“Yeah. She is.” Seungcheol answered, and soon enough Mingyu jabbered something that sounded like a “Maybe, why?”. You nodded at the answer, turning your eyes back to Jeonghan and asking the following question without properly looking at any of them. 
“Does she like girls?” Mingyu’s eyes went straight to Seungcheol, and he waved his head from one side to the other, begging with his eyes for Cheol to deny it. He, on the other hand, seemed too intrigued by Jeonghan’s abilities to actually pay attention to Mingyu, and just answered casually: “Um hum. She’s pansexual.” 
“Nice…” 
“Why?” Mingyu’s question came at the same time as your response. You just shrugged, noticing that Jeonghan had fallen for the third time and was, because of that, coming back to the starting point of the wakeboarding to pass it onto one of you. “I was just curious.” You said, starting to look for a life jacket and boots that would fit you. There was no way in hell you’d sell Rae out like that, and if they didn’t notice her obvious interest in Jessica, you weren’t going to be the one to tell them. 
Mingyu was sulking while he also looked for equipment for him. You paid him no mind, finding out that all life jackets were the same size, but they were adjustable. After a few minutes trying to figure out how the fuck you should tighten the belt for it to fit your body size, you saw Mingyu approaching you and noticed that his sulk was still on his face. 
“You have to pull this part.” He said it, pointing to a strap that was on the right side of your body. Pulling it was harder than you thought, and you imagined it was broken. You pulled it up, down and sideways but the belt wouldn’t budge even a little. 
“Gyu, help me.” Your voice was soft and looking at you made something inside Mingyu crumble. He got completely stuck in place, mesmerized by the way your mouth folded when you called him by that nickname, trapped by your kind gaze and the way you - for the first time - seemed helpless. You weren’t. You weren’t helpless at all, Mingyu was sure of that, he was the one who was helpless, feeling his heart burn inside his chest with a simple word. 
“Please?” You pleaded once again and that made him finally move. The smile you flashed at him when he approached you was enough to make him almost trip on his own feet. You raised your arm a bit to make it easier for him to reach the strap he should pull, and Mingyu felt glad you did so, because that way your arm stood between your eyes and his trembling hands. 
“S-sure.” He stuttered. Even though he imagined taking his eyes off of yours would make things better, seeing a small glimpse of flesh from your waist and some drawing he couldn’t distinguish from so little disclosure made him shiver. Mingyu simply pulled the strap as fast as he could, inebriated by the proximity of you two and hoping that it would be over soon so he could come back to his senses. 
“You know, what? Let me tell you a secret…” Mingyu stepped back as soon as he helped you adjust your life jacket, but the heat that took over him after getting close to you didn’t seem to go away, but to only get worse when you murmured those words so quietly he was sure to be the only one to have listened to them. 
His hands were still trembling and his heart was pounding on his chest when you approached him once again, standing on your tiptoes to whisper something in his ear. The hand you placed on his shoulder to help you to stand taller burned like coal and he wasn’t sure about actually listening to what you had to say because of how loudly his heart was palpitating. “I’m kind of glad you rejected me. That way we can be friends. I think we’ll make good friends.” 
Before he could say anything else, Jeonghan’s high pitched voice took over the pier, as he asked who was next. You raised your hand excitedly, and ran over to Jeonghan, asking him some tips for you not to fall, and Mingyu just stood there, letting those words sink alongside a bitterness he never felt before. 
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chapter eight - gratitude
“... Then she simply held my hands and placed them on her waist!” Raena was gushing words one after the other while pacing in circles inside her room, and you and Seungkwan were lying on her bed, too tired to do anything but listen. Your arms were so heavy you felt like they could fall off at any time, and your legs felt weak, both from the wakeboarding and from following Jeonghan’s advice to “no matter what you do, don’t let go of the handle.” 
Fuck. You should’ve let go of the handle when it hurted, but some part of you still wished you could last longer than Mingyu and win yourself that stupid bet, but no. You didn’t win anything more than an aching body and the taste of utter defeat. Oh, and also three alarm clocks to wake you up the following morning, hurray.
“I think I’m in love.” After telling you all the excruciating details of her interaction with Jessica during that day, she concluded, throwing herself on top of you two and making Seungkwan curse loudly when he felt her weight mostly over him. 
“You say that every six months. Chill out, miss ‘I’m a cancer’”, you closed your eyes, not needing to see her to know exactly the face your best friend would make after listening to those words, and also knowing damn well what her next words would be. 
“This time is different…” She pleaded, but Seungkwan let a small giggle slip from his mouth, and when Raena gave him the dirty look he simply shrugged nonchalantly, spitting the words she also knew well, and also knew were true: “You also always say that.” 
“She’s gay though. I mean, panssexual, but nonetheless she kisses women, so I say go for it.” You informed her and next thing you knew was Rae’s weight shifting completely from Seungkwan to you, as she hugged you awkwardly because of the weird position you both found yourselves in.
Seungkwan started laughing when Raena decided that showering you with kisses - that he knew for a fact that you didn’t actually enjoy that much but only endured because they came from Rae - was a good idea. Your phone started ringing and while Rae murmured a bunch of gratitude words for the universe for “making her crush like women”, you asked Seungkwan to see who it was. 
Your mother’s name popped up on the screen and he remembered how shocked he was when he figured out that you wouldn’t simply put “Mom” or “Dad” on their contact informations because if somebody kidnapped you, they wouldn’t know who to call for money and your parents wouldn’t be worried about you being kidnaped and shit. Made absolutely no sense to Seungkwan, who had his mother saved as “Mommy” until this day. 
“It’s your mom.” His announcement created a discomfort that was almost tangible. You felt every single cell of your body stiffen, and your eyes opened wide towards the phone. He could see you processing the information slowly, and even Rae realized something was off about your reaction, which made her roll her body away from yours. 
“Decline it.” You said after giving it a little bit of thought. You weren’t ready for that conversation yet, and you were just starting to enjoy your “vacation” - you decided to not call it unemployment until you came back home for your own sake -, so getting scolded by your mother after texting her that you’d quit your job was not on your plans for the week. 
“You should talk to your mother.” Seungkwan said, passing you the phone without declining the call like you had asked. You did it yourself, pressing the red button and turning your phone off after you’ve done it. 
“I will… Just… Not now.” You explained after seeing his scandalized expression. Seungkwan was a good son who had an awesome relationship with his parents, and sometimes you hated him for it. No. Not him. What you actually hated was that he couldn’t understand how bad communication was between you and your parents. They were good parents, they’d always provide and make sure you felt loved and belonging, but they didn’t know you also wanted to feel heard. And, unfortunately for you, that was never the case. No matter how hard you tried conveying your thoughts, they would never try to understand. The miscommunication often made it seem to them - and, in some ways, to you - like you were a bad daughter. 
“I gave birth to a beautiful girl, and for what? For her to keep things from me! For her to not tell me shit about herself!” Your mom would always say the same things when you wouldn’t answer her questions, or even when you would answer them, but not the way she wanted. “Don’t lie. I know you’re keeping something from me.” It was always the same. Sometimes she didn’t even say anything, but her expression proclaimed the words louder than she would or could. And you’d feel like shit. Always feeling like you were not enough, like your experiences were never enough. 
You remember the look on her face when you showed her and your dad your acceptance letter to Law School. It was a first for you: the first time you actually felt she was proud, the first time you felt her smile was genuine. 
How would you explain to her that she wasn’t happy for you back then, but for herself? How would you explain to someone who never tried to understand you that you had found yourself dancing to a song you didn’t like and simply decided to turn off the music? You didn’t want to let that familiar feeling of being a disappointment ruin those next weeks, so you would let that conversation for later, for when you could endure the harsh words without letting them slip into your mind like poison.
“Ok, just let her know you’re alive then, for fuck’s sake. Don’t be a dick.” You puffed, rolling your eyes to Seungkwan’s comment, but still did what he suggested, fishing your phone once again and turning it on. A message showed on your screen as soon as it was activated. 
Answer the damn phone. What do you mean you quit?! Without talking to us first? What is going on with you lately… [Tuesday, 10:19 p.m.]
You let a huge sigh come out, starting to type something almost immediately. Seungkwan and Raena watched you doing it in silence, just being there like they always were. 
I’m alive, well and busy. I’ll text you eventually to let you know if I’m ok, and I will go to your house when I come back from the trip I’m on right now for us to talk. Sorry about the mess. [Tuesday, 10:28 p.m.]
Your phone was tossed across the bed as soon as you sent it, and you tried getting up but an agonized moan left your throat at the same time you felt your arm failing you and aching terribly. “Ok, I’ll have to sleep here, I can’t get up.” You let yourself fall into Rae’s bed again, spreading your arms as slowly as you could to a position that wouldn’t harm them.
“No fucking way, what if Jessica sees you leaving my room and think we’re something?” Rae protested, and you couldn’t help but laugh. It was reassuring to have her and Seungkwan beside you, and you realized what a shitty friend you had been for the past years by not doing the same, not even once, because of a job you didn’t even like. That wouldn’t happen anymore, you were obstinate. 
“But we are something… We are besties.” You said with a huge pout on your face and in the cutest way you could, and Seungkwan whimpered, covering his mouth as if he was holding vomit. 
“Ugh, that was disgusting. How old do you fucking think you are to speak with that kind of voice?” He complained and Raena started laughing. You couldn’t help but laugh along with them. 
“My Boo can’t handle my baby voice? I can’t believe it.” He formed a fist with his hands by the side of his head and closed his eyes with a lot of strength, as if he was physically in pain because of the way you were speaking. If you could move you’d definitely hug him, but it wasn’t possible for you, so you just threw a kiss his way, making a tiny heart with your thumb and index finger. 
“Stop it. It’s scary.” The heart slowly turned into you giving him the middle finger. You couldn’t even explain how much you missed this, and while Seungkwan threatened to hit you - which he definitely would if he actually wanted to, you knew that -, you felt a silly smile appear in your face. 
“Thank you, guys.” You said suddenly, and both Rae and Seungkwan looked at you a bit confused. “For not giving up on me even when I had.”
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chapter nine - pain killer
Some knocks on your door woke you up. You rolled in your bed, still trying to get used to the brightness that was consuming your room, but the knocks didn’t seem to stop. After a few seconds you recognized they were the rhythm to one of King Princess’ songs that Rae liked, making you assume that it could only be her. 
“I’m awake, stop knocking for fuck’s sake.” You muffled the words as loud as you were able to do with your morning voice, and the door knob turned slowly, as Raena put her head inside of your room with a cheeky smile on her face. You indicated with your head that she should come in and she promptly did, throwing herself on your bed and making you almost fall from it. 
“We’re going hiking. Do you want to go?” She asked you and you finally noticed her outfit. Rae was wearing leggings and a loose t-shirt with a drawing that you were pretty sure she made a few months back. You contemplated for a bit, but felt once again the muscle pain your wakeboarding experience had gifted you the previous day, and you simply denied it. 
“Nah, I don’t think I can move that much today… Maybe tomorrow?” You asked, and Rae agreed. Hiking was not your favorite activity, but it was definitely something you’d like to try in that beautiful landscape. “Who are you going with?” 
“Basically everybody, it’s on Seungkwan’s schedule, so anyone who’s not completely broken from yesterday is going.” She explained and you pouted, wishing you weren’t that sore. You didn’t regret wakeboarding, it was fun and you actually were pretty good at it, but you hoped that the pain would fade quickly so you could do all the other things Seungkwan had planned for those two weeks. 
“Hm.” You murmured, hugging her and closing your eyes once again, as if you were about to go back to sleep. “I’ll get up and eat something then…” There was nothing in your actions that indicated that you would actually get out of bed, and Raena simply flicked your forehead, making you open your eyes once again. 
“You should go to the pool, I heard it’s good to make muscular pain go away. Now let me go, get the fuck up and don’t over sleep.” She threw your arms away from her and got up from your bed quickly, and since you knew well the consequences to not do so, you obeyed her, sitting on it with your eyes still half open. You looked for your glasses, placing them on your face and finally getting up. “Bye, baby, I’ll be back before lunch!” Raena took leave and once again you found yourself alone in your room. 
Taking cold showers would always wake you up, and that time wasn’t any different. It didn’t take long for you to get out of your room and head to the kitchen. The lake complex was deserted, you couldn’t see a single soul walking aimlessly on your way to the main house, and when you got there things were equally silent and empty. You ate by yourself, taking your time and enjoying being alone as much as you could. 
After eating breakfast, you went straight to the pool. When getting ready, you put on your bikini and tons of sunscreen, intending to do as Rae said earlier, but you didn’t expect the sun to be so hot that day, and you regretted not taking your UV shirt with you. Afraid to get sunburned, you didn’t even take your clothes, just putting your feet inside the big pool and hoping the sun would give a truce eventually so that you could jump in. 
Getting back to your room to get your shirt was not an option. You knew yourself well enough to know that once you saw your bed you would give up on leaving it until somebody arrived, so you just stayed there, with your feet immersed and letting your head wander freely. 
“Where’s everybody?” Mingyu’s voice woke you from the trance you had entered without even noticing. His hair was a bit messy, he was wearing prescription glasses - which, by the way, you didn’t know he needed -, but still seemed to be well awake and was in swimming clothes. The white UV shirt he was with was different from the black one he wore the previous day, but his shorts were the same. He sat next to you, putting both of his feet inside the pool, almost mimicking your pose, and murmuring a complaint about the water being cold as soon as he did. 
“Everyone went hiking… I thought you did too?” You seemed confused, but he let a sound of understanding come out of his mouth along with a very dramatic expression as soon as he remembered Seungkwan’s schedule for the day. He swung his head from one side to the other, being quick to explain. 
“I just set one alarm today, so I ended up not waking up in time.” His phrase made a cheeky smile show up on your face, and Mingyu was the one to look at you confused that time. You giggled, staring at some waves that were being created by the soft movements you made with your feet. 
“You won yesterday, you could’ve set three… Are you that desperate to get into my good side, Kim Mingyu?” You teased him and could see him getting flustered more quickly than you anticipated. Seungcheol was right… It was fun teasing Mingyu.  
“No, I-” He started mumbling, which made his phrases come out more slurred than they usually would, almost making it sound like he was stuttering. “I didn’t do it because of you, I wouldn’t do that, I won yesterday. I did it because… Because I wanted to… Uhm… I wanted to see if I could wake up with just one, you know, alarm. I couldn’t, tomorrow I’m setting three, you’ll see.” You giggled, nodding your head. “Why are you here, then? Why didn’t you go hiking?” Mingyu asked, and you gave him a half-hearted smile.
“My whole body hurts. Because of wakeboarding… Rae told me I should get into the pool but I forgot my UV shirt and I’m pretty sure that if I leave this place I will not only sleep until noon, but also get scolded for not listening to her when she gets back.” You explained and he nodded in agreement, taking his feet off the pool and standing up right beside you. 
You observed him doing so, a bit startled by his sudden movement, and almost choked when realized what he was actually going to do. With his right arm, he pulled the back part of the collar of his shirt, taking it off swiftly in a very smooth and fast movement. You felt your body stiffen by the sight of his pecs and from how large you just realized he actually was. Even though you tried, you couldn’t get your eyes off of his tanned skin, and it was only when he threw the shirt your way that you actually looked at his face again. 
He was bearing a rather innocent smile and you felt like punching him in the face for it. “Wear mine, then. Let’s get into the pool.” He said nonchalantly, taking his glasses off and jumping right after that. You took your time, but soon enough threw yourself onto the pool. 
You held your breath to dive in, emerging with your hair completely soaked and a happy expression staggered across your face. It was, indeed, relaxing to be surrounded by that much water, and you weren’t able to enjoy this silly thing the day prior because you were too busy trying to learn how to wakeboard properly. Mingyu watched you quietly, keeping his distance without taking his eyes off you for even a split second. 
“Do you think the deep part of it is too deep? I kinda wanna swim there…” You asked him, and Mingyu finally seemed to be pulled back to reality. He shrugged, starting to walk to the other side of the pool, where it would gradually become deeper. 
“Let’s see.” He got to the deepest part of the pool with not much effort, still being able to stand on his feet without submerging even the slightest. “Seems ok to me! Try coming here!” Mingyu shouted and you started walking towards his direction happily. 
Before you could get to him, you got almost completely submerged, being obligated to push yourself up and start moving your arms so that you would float. “Ok my ass, I almost drowned!” You nagged and Mingyu laughed at you, approaching quickly. 
“Maybe you’re too short?” He asked with a teasing tone, and you swam forward, getting close enough to splash some water on him while still struggling to remain floating and not sink to the part that was definitely too deep for you. 
“Or maybe you’re just too tall, how about that? I’m tall enough.” You asked and he couldn’t help himself from smiling like an idiot while watching you making a big effort to seem stable when you clearly weren’t. You felt his grip on your waist not much long after, and with his two hands he held you up, making it consequently easy for you to remain there. 
His touch, however, provoked a strange feeling in your skin. It was a soft pressure, but everything about it electrified your body in an unnatural way, and his pretty smile only made it worse. You could feel every single inch of his hands while he sank his fingertips on your skin, and you got so distracted by it you almost didn’t realize he had pulled you closer, until you saw yourself nearer than you’d expected from his tanned skin and sharp teeth. 
“What are you doing?” You asked a bit flustered, but his grip never got looser. Instead, he ran his fingers a little bit further up the UV shirt, which was so big for you that it was practically floating with the exception of the parts on your arms, and pulled you even closer to his unclothed chest. 
“Keeping you from drowning…” His voice was two tones lower and quieter, and his eyes were burning onto yours. You felt your heart pounding on your chest when he reduced the distance between you two even more. He slowly shifted his gaze, almost as if any abrupt movement would startle you, and kept bypassing every inch of your face as he did so. You could almost feel the heat created by his intense stare as his eyes went down, stopping only when they reached your lips.
“Oh! You guys are here!” Even though Seokmin’s eyes were almost closed shut, he was wearing one of his bright smiles while he walked your way. Your hands went immediately to Mingyu’s shoulders, pushing them in a desperate movement to free yourself from his grip. Seokmin’s voice startled him enough to make it an easy movement for you, and once again you were flapping your arms to keep yourself with your head above the water level. “Where’s everybody else?” 
“Hm… They… Went hiking.” You answered, starting to swim to the edge of the pool, and griping one part of it. “Did you just wake up?” There was no trace of emotion on your face, and you were doing the utmost to keep it that way.
Mingyu, on the other hand, looked angry. Hell, he was enraged. What a shitty timing his dumb best friend had, for fucks sake. He glanced at you, but your eyes were fixed on Seokmin, who didn’t seem to notice that he had just meddled with something, unmindfully getting close to you and sitting next to where you were holding, dipping his feet on the water and smiling like he hadn’t just cockblocked you. 
“Um hum. I thought they would be back by now… Why didn’t you guys go? Am I… hindering something? Were you guys…”
“No. Not at all. You’re not… hindering anything. We were just together because we woke up a bit later like you. There’s nothing… Nothing would happen between us.” You mumbled, almost forgetting all of your speech abilities while you said things mostly to convince yourself, and not Seokmin. “Never.” You guaranteed, and Seokmin laughed loudly. 
“Oh, that’s true. You’re not Mingyu’s type, right?” He bantered, looking directly at his friend and sticking his tongue out to make sure he knew he was teasing him. The huge splash of water that Seokmin received, on the other hand, was not in his plans, and didn’t seem to be a joke at all. He looked shocked at Mingyu after getting hit, but his friend didn’t seem to be remorseful. 
“Honestly, how long will you guys hold that against me, and rub it into my face?” He retorted. You were too occupied trying not to laugh at the vision of Seokmin completely soaked trying to scoop the water from his arms with one of his hands to notice the seriousness of Mingyu's voice. He was already done with himself for rejecting you in the first place, but still people kept reminding him of the poorest decision of the past two years.
“I know I should be the most infuriated by it, but I actually find it funny. You should’ve known better before rejecting me, Kim Mingyu, you set yourself up for that one…” Deciding to join Seokmin was easier than trying to use your brain to do the math and figure out what Mingyu was going on about, so you just did it, seeing the man next to you smiling slyly and blinking your way. 
“Right? I mean look at you! Any man would be lucky to have you, and yet he called you uptight. Can you believe that?” He said it in the most boastful way he could, and Mingyu almost growled at him. 
“You called her uptight first!” Mingyu hollered and you just looked at Seokmin with the most heartbroken expression you could make yourself fake. He started trying to justify himself to you, but you just giggled, letting go of the pool edge and letting your body upthrust itself while you lay down into the water with your head looking up. 
“Oh look, that cloud looks like a cat!” You changed the subject abruptly, making them a bit confused at first. Mingyu tried floating in the pool like you just had, and Seokmin layed on the ground, never taking his feet off of the water. And just like that you lightened the mood, while the three of you kept pointing figures in the sky until the rest of everyone arrived back home. 
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chapter ten - sour grapes
The day went by swiftly. After everyone else arrived from hiking, they all went straight to the pool, making Seungcheol almost lose his voice by screaming that they should at least hit the pool shower first and clean the sweat up a bit. Your hands got wrinkly sooner than everyone else's, and that made you leave the pool first, finding Mingyu still in his swimming trunks, cooking lunch like oil wouldn’t burn his naked torso if it hit him the wrong way. 
Deciding to leave the kitchen and find your friends was hard - you definitely could spend ages just watching Mingyu being domestic like that… and shirtless -, but watching Rae missing every single cue Jessica would give her to flirt was way harder. You and Seungkwan were almost permanently binding your eyes on the back of their orbs from all the eye-rolling you kept doing. 
Raena was a phenomenal flirt. If there was a cure to heterossexuality, Rae was it, as she had countless times made girls question their sexuality just by making a friendly comment in a deeper tone than usual. That was, of course, when she wasn’t truly interested. She’d lose all her social skills on the sight of someone who’d make her heart flutter, and from the looks of it, Rae’s heart was about to bounce out of her chest because of Jessica. 
It was nice spending time with them. Rae and Seungkwan. You’d also noticed how close Vernon and Seungkwan were on that trip. Vernon seemed to be very lonely most of the time, or independent, however you’d like to call it, but Seungkwan matched him perfectly in every way. It was like Seungkwan was always bringing Vernon’s best side out, and in exchange you could see how devoted Vernon was to him. It was a beautiful friendship, and you almost felt jealous about it. 
“The Singing Boo. The one where I sing so many ballads they stop meaning anything to you but you still have to clap” arrived in no time. Seungkwan had really thought about every single thing, and you happily complied with all the activities - with the exception of the hike, of course - and the karaoke night wouldn’t be an exception. 
Karaoke night was fun. You came to learn that Seungkwan was not the only good singer amongst all the people surrounding you, and you were almost sure you saw Robin cry when he and Seokmin decided to sing a duo. Regardless of all the fun you were having, when Raena started typing Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley on the machine, you knew it was time for you to leave. Things were about to be ugly. 
Seungkwan was somewhere with Vernon, and most of the people had already left the area declaring it was too late. Two bottles of vodka were emptied on the counter and Rae was holding the microphone in such a familiar drunken-state way that you felt chills all over your body. That would be bad. Like really bad. You looked around, seeing that Jessica was nowhere to be found and a sigh of relief left your mouth. 
“What’s up?” Seungcheol whispered, probably louder than he intended because of his inebriated state. You bit your lower lip, being unable to think straight yourself, so you just decided to act on your instincts. 
“We should get the fuck out of here. Things are about to be ugly…” You said, tilting your head slightly towards Rae’s direction. Seungcheol watched as she kept trying to write Presley while missing so many letters that the machine wouldn’t recognize the name. “When she’s drunk she thinks she can sing… She cannot.”
“Is it that bad?” He asked you. Your eyes were slanted, almost making a thin line, but his almond eyes were completely opened. His face didn’t deny his intoxication whatsoever, since a silly smile was almost stuck on it. It wouldn’t budge a bit, only growing larger at some of Jeonghan’s phrases and jokes, and then immediately going back to the silly gummy smile. 
“Yes. We must run when there’s still time. She just typed the ‘Pre’ of Presley, we will be doomed in no time.” He giggled because of your phrase and the worried look it carried with it, getting up and reaching out his hand to yours, helping you get up from the couch and starting to slowly get out. 
“Are you already leaving? I was about to start singing.” Unfortunately you weren’t as stealthy as you thought you were, being caught red handed by Rae, who made all the remaining people look your way. “Wait… Are you leaving… together?” Her tone changed and you suddenly dropped Seungcheol’s hand, waving your head from one side to the other. “Ok, I’m singing Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On… can someone for fucks sake put it on for me? I can’t type in this little control with my big ass fingers.” 
“That’s not…” You tried explaining that she misunderstood the situation, but seeing her willingly telling you to get the fuck out of there while Robin was typing - way better than her - the song she’d just decided on singing, you thought it was best to leave it at that. You looked around. The only ones left there were you, Minghao, Soonyoung - who was passed out on Jeonghan’s lap -, Robin, Rae, Seungcheol and you. None of them would misunderstand the situation apart from Rae, and maybe Robin, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed, so you held Seungcheol’s hand once again and left the building without even looking behind. 
Rae’s screechy voice was loud enough for you to listen even when you left the main house, and seeing Seungcheol turn his gaze to you in complete shock made you burst into laughter. “Let’s not let her sing tomorrow. Or ever.” He declared and you nodded, saying goodbye to him and walking straight to your room. 
The following morning consisted basically of you babysitting Rae while she threw her intestines up and promised not to drink at all that day. Which, of course, wouldn’t happen, because today’s schedule for the night was “Blame It on the (Boo)ze. The one where I get you all fucked up.” As you expected, at seven o’clock sharp - the exact minute Boo Seungkwan had planned to start the Blame It On The (Boo)ze night -, your best friend was holding a red cup while Seungkwan filled it with beer. 
Games started in no time. You all sat on the ground, making what should be a small circle but ended up being a huge one because of the amount of people that were in that place. The first game that was suggested was Mafia, and the rule was that the team who loses should take a shot. Vernon volunteered to pick the roles and everybody seemed to be okay with that.
“I honestly wasn’t planning on having them both here for this… I think I set myself up with this schedule…” Seungkwan mentioned to Rae while they both watched you and Seungcheol bicker about who was the Mafia. 
“Listen, you little shit, don’t you think I would’ve covered for Joshua the last round if I was the mafia?” The way you grabbed his shirt and pulled Seungcheol closer made Seungkwan squat down, watching closely the - and he hated to admit that - most exciting mafia game he had ever participated in. It sucked that he was killed in the first rounds, but watching you play that game like your life was depending on it was great. “Much like goddamn Seokmin did… Are you dumb?” 
“I’m not dumb. I’m smart enough not to trust you, that’s it.” He lashed back and you ran your hand through your hair, pulling it back and breathing deeply. “But… I will trust you with this.” He declared, starting the voting by choosing Seokmin to be arrested.
Mingyu was, once again, livid. He was clutching onto his beer cup with so much strength that anyone could see it was empty, or at least anyone who would take their eyes off of the game that was unraveling in that seemingless small place and paid attention to the coolers where the alcohol - and Kim Mingyu - were. As soon as he was killed, Wonwoo approached to fill his cup, shifting his gaze from Mingyu to you, to Cheol and back to the tallest one. 
“Do you really think enemies to lovers is the best trope?” Mingyu’s eyes didn’t flinch for a second, and Wonwoo almost didn’t realize that his friend was actually talking to him, and not to anyone else. Wonwoo filled his cup slowly, waiting for Kim Mingyu to run out of patience, just because it was always a bit fun teasing him. “Wonwoo. Do you think enemies to lovers is the best fanfiction trope?”
“Book. Book trope.” Wonwoo corrected him, as if Mingyu hadn’t seen him giggling like a fifteen year old at his iPad many nights during what they used to call “boys night” - which was basically an excuse for Wonwoo to play video games at Mingyu’s house without his parents nagging about it. His eyes finally left you and Seungcheol, meeting Wonwoo’s, and the older one just shrugged. “I mean, it’s one of the best ones. I’d say enemies to lovers and friends to lovers are top notch. Book tropes.” He repeated himself, and saw Mingyu dismiss his last comment with a silly smile on his face. 
“Friends to lovers, huh?” Mingyu sneered, letting a smirk appear on his face. Wonwoo finished pouring his beer and saw Mingyu hanging his cup in front of him, asking with a light expression for Wonwoo to fill his too. That was the reason Mingyu got up in the first place, anyway, he was just too consumed by the game to do anything other than observe everyone playing. Everyone.
“You lost that one, buddy. Robin told me that she and Seungcheol left the main house together yesterday while Rae sang - terribly - Let’s Get It On… Maybe next time?” Wonwoo smiled faintly when he saw Mingyu’s expression turn into complete despair. It was only for a split second, though, and suddenly Mingyu smiled sheepishly again. 
“Lost what? I don’t know what you are talking about. It was just a small interest, but I won’t suffer because of it. I hope they are happy. Hope they date eventually. Oh, can you imagine? Those two together? Like… Can you? Seriously Wonwoo, can you? I can. I can imagine them dating. Oh, I hope they date. I hope they’ll invite me to the wedding.” Mingyu started babbling, slurring every single word that came out of his mouth, making Wonwoo hold a small laughter that was trying hard to come out of his mouth. 
He was fine, though. Mingyu was fine. It was just a small crush, and since you were such a pretty girl, he’d be happy to see you with his friend. Good for him. Good for Cheol. “Good for him.” The words came out faster than his filter acted, and Wonwoo finally let the giggle escape. Mingyu kept repeating the words “it was just a crush” to himself, as he chugged down the entire cup Wonwoo had just poured for him.  
When the cup was empty, he allowed himself to check up on the game once again, and Wonwoo watched amusingly his friend crush the red cup completely as he saw Seungcheol hold you tightly, raising you in celebration for your win. It’s. Just. A. Crush. 
“Hey, the game's over. What are you guys talking about?” Robin asked, still sitting in the pseudo-circle that was half empty now that many people were scattered around the room intending to fill their cups before the next game. Wonwoo pulled Mingyu, sitting next to her. 
“Our favorite book tropes.” He declared loudly. “Yours is ‘enemies to lovers’ as well, right, Robin?” She nodded and Wonwoo smiled innocently. “How about yours, guys?” He threw the question to the other side of the circle, where you, Seungcheol, Seungkwan, Rae and Vernon were sitting.
“There was only one bed!” Rae cheered and you clapped your hands agreeing with her. That didn’t make Wonwoo let you off the hook just yet, and he turned to you right after that. “How about you?”
“Hm…Book? Enemies to Lovers is nice...” You answered and Mingyu seemed to be getting more annoyed by the minute. “But fanfiction is definitely Friends to Lovers. I mean, in real life I like friends to lovers better, so when it’s a book I’m OK with enemies to lovers, but when I try to bring it to the real world it just…” Trying to explain your train of thought was harder than you expected it to be, but Wonwoo’s eyes were glowing as he nodded, making you feel seen and heard. 
“I hate Friends to Lovers.” Seungkwan uttered, chugging his beer down. “It’s dumb to ruin years of friendship because of feelings that can eventually pass. I wouldn’t go there. It’s dumb.” You and Rae shared a look, feeling a small tension appear with his answer. “There was only one bed is the best, though. The only correct answer, I’d say” He finished, and the tension vanished in an instant. 
Vernon stood up without giving a proper answer, saying that he was already tired and, like many other days, he’d leave first by himself. The night continued on, and the drunker you all got, the funnier all the games started to become, and the less you all wanted to get out of that room.
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chapter eleven - testing waters
Looking around the room, you decided that it was the best time to ditch on movie night. Block(boo)ster. The one where you can’t sleep afterwards seemed very exciting at first. Seungkwan told you that it would be a horror film marathon, and you were expecting to see the most recent releases that you missed due to working. Disappointment kicked in when you saw that the movie was Insidious.
Not that it wasn’t a good movie - that was not the case, you actually liked it very much on your first time seeing it -, but you never had the patience to watch any movie more than once. Knowing how it ended just always made it seem boring to you, and you thought you could use your time doing something better than watching the same movie twice. That was why you silently left the room in the first ten minutes of it, hoping that Seungkwan would be too scared to notice your absence when the marathon finally ended.
Part of you wanted to stay because you saw Jessica asking Soonyoung to change places with her, sitting right next to your best friend - and most clingy person watching horror films-, Raena, but thinking about sitting in front of that low screen for two hours watching a family being tormented by the ugliest demon you’d ever seen made you give up on that idea. Minghao had just screamed in an - successful - attempt of scaring Seokmin, and you took that opportunity to get out of there unnoticed. 
It was a chill and cloudless night, the sky looked beautiful and the moon was shining so bright that its reflection could be seen perfectly in the lake. You wondered if you were still able to capture such a beautiful image through any lenses, since it had been so long since you’ve taken pictures of anything other than a pile of papers to send Rae and tell her you were “too busy”.
The moon was almost full, yet not completely, but its reflection seemed to be whole. There was some similarity between the two of you, you couldn’t help but notice, or maybe you just had too much free time on your hands now and could let such silly thoughts cross your mind. On your way to your room, you thought about how you could capture exactly how you felt with the picture you decided on taking. 
To anyone who wasn’t close enough, you did seem to be fulfilled. Just like the turbid waters of the lake masked the missing piece of what soon would become a full moon, the idealization of your parents and their expectations over you clouded completing that missing strip that actually made you shine completely. 
This is dumb. The rational part of you kept nagging, but that didn’t stop you to turn on your phone - the only camera you had available at the moment - and run to your porch, trying to capture your feelings and make them somewhat palpable. 
“Nice picture.” Mingyu’s voice startled you. You were so exhilarated and consumed by the feeling of finding a spot worth taking a picture that you didn’t notice his presence on the balcony next to yours. To be fair, he was sitting down, so it wasn’t an easy task to spot him right away. He, on the other hand, could perfectly see you deleting all the notifications of your phone and opening the camera app, skilfully climbing up the rail and finding the best angle for the shot. 
“Motherfucker.” You cursed, almost dropping your phone, and then you simply glared at Mingyu, who had an indistinguishable expression. “You scared the shit out of me.” While climbing down, you explained, and then went to the far end of your balcony, eyeing inside of his and trying to see what he was up to. 
There was tons of eraser dust all over his porch, and he was holding a pencil with an odd grip. It was between his thumb and his index finger, and he held it underhand. A paper was laying in front of him, with a bunch of lines that - from that distance - you couldn’t tell exactly what they were meant to be. At last, you saw two Bacardi bottles, which you soon realized must’ve been the two bottles missing from the kitchen. The ones that Seungkwan was desperately trying to convince himself he didn’t put on the coolers the previous night and should definitely be there.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be screaming and using the movie as an excuse to hold Seungcheol’s hands?” His tone was bitter, but he looked adorable while nagging like that. You were not dumb, even though sometimes you were a bit clueless, but since the pool incident you’ve been pretty sure that Mingyu’s previous disinterest in you might’ve changed. 
You also weren’t one hundred percent confident that he was interested. Being that Seokmin told you about how Mingyu flirted as a method of communication, you couldn’t be totally sure that he wasn’t just being nice. What was left for you was to test the waters. You had no clue what the fuck he was talking about that time, but playing along had always been your strong suit. 
“I hate watching the same movie twice. How about you? Why aren’t you there?” You leaned on the rail, facing his balcony this time and not the lake, and watched him - with a small pout on his face - go back to the drawing he was making before answering your question. 
“I’m scared of horror movies. Can’t sleep for days if I watch any… So I just grabbed some alcohol and came here while you all had fun there.” The knuckles of his ring and pinky fingers were sliding gently across the paper as he drew steady lines all over the page. Mingyu was doing it in such a natural way it almost made it seem easy, but you were well aware it wasn’t. 
“How can you be so straightforward about that?” You giggled a bit, making him raise his head to look you in the eyes. He was a bit confused about your phrase, so you just continued talking. “The whole being a scaredy cat thing.”
“Ah…” He came back to his drawing once again. “Because it’s true… What would lying about it accomplish besides me being potentially placed in uncomfortable situations? There’s no point in that. Why? Does that bother you? Do you find it weird?” His lips were pursed and he was shifting his gaze from the drawing to you, turning them back to the drawing when it would meet yours. 
“Nah, I find it cute. Can I join you?” Mingyu was baffled once again by how nonchalantly you’d say things, but he just nodded, putting the notebook and his pencil down in order to open the door for you. It wasn’t necessary whatsoever, as you climbed the rail, jumping daintily and landing on his balcony. 
“Are you nuts?” He stood up quickly, rushing to catch you, but it was not necessary. Mingyu simply couldn’t believe how dauntless you could be sometimes, and that deeply made him regret calling you uptight in your first meeting. If only he hadn’t, maybe you wouldn’t be with Seungcheol now. Not that it mattered to him. It didn’t. 
“It’s not far, Gyu, I’m ok.” You tried to calm him down, and he was quick to do so since you were well and standing on his balcony. “What are you drawing?” Mingyu sat down on the floor, a bit further to the left than he was before, and, indicating his right side to you with his head, where you promptly seated. 
“Can you see how the moon seems to be a full moon when you look at its reflection, but it’s actually waxing? I was trying to draw that, but from this perspective right here.” He said the words while he showed you his drawing, pointing out every single aspect of it while he talked about them, and you couldn’t help but to let a smile appear on your face. Just like that he made you feel less stupid, even though you were absolutely sure that it was not his intention. “What’s that smile about?” 
“You’re impressive.” You said simply. “This is the most beautiful drawing I’ve ever seen.” When you glued your eyes to him after saying those very truthful words, you could see his pink-stained cheeks and his small fangs showing in a shy smile. Mingyu couldn’t help but to smile at those words. His heart was fluttering inside his chest and your glimmering eyes, shining because of his drawing, only made it worse. 
He cleared his throat when he realized he had been staring at you - who was still looking at his drawing - for way too long, dropping the first question that popped into his head: “D-do you… want to drink? I brought Bacardi with me.” 
“Sure.” You answered, giving him his notebook back and watching his big hands groping the floor looking for the booze. He opened one of the bottles dexterously, completely breaking the clumsy image you had of him in your head, but then he started scanning the place, coming to a realization. “Uh… I forgot to bring any glass…” 
You took the bottle off of his hands, purposefully brushing your hand against his when you did so in order to see his reaction, and just tipped the bottle inside your mouth, drinking what you thought was enough for that moment. Mingyu was stunned, blinking slowly as he watched you do so. 
“Who needs glasses, right?” You commented, handing him the bottle, and still with a  shocked expression he did the same as you, chugging a bit of bacardi and immediately grimacing because of the taste of the alcohol. You giggled at his expression, and took the bottle again, drinking a bit more. “Why were you so sulky today? Did anything happen?” 
Mingyu gulped at your question. Once again he felt a small annoyance inside his chest, but he just dismissed it, smiling teasingly at you. “I wasn’t sulky. I just wasn’t in a post-sex good mood like you were.” His words were meant to sting, but he was caught completely off guard by your loud giggle. 
“Dude, we all drank our asses off yesterday and passed out in the main house. We were both in the same ‘no-sex-no-fun-just-hangover’ mood.” It was his time to take the bottle out of your hands and tip it over. His mouth turned into a pout and he compressed his eyes in a sulky expression. 
“You know what I mean. I mean you and Seungcheol…” His voice was low and the pout in his lips made it seem like the words were being said by a child. Mingyu was fucking adorable. “Wonwoo told me. About the karaoke night. You don’t have to hide it…” He forced a smile, but his eyes were still compressed, making the smile look completely fake. “... I’m happy for you guys. Really. You are my friends.” 
“Ah, you mean me and Seungcheol escaping Rae’s terrible singing skills by letting her drunk self believe we were going out to hook up, when in fact we just parted ways on the door and went to our rooms because we’re not interested in each other like that? Are you talking about this?” 
Just like that, Mingyu felt happiness invading his body once again. “Fuck you, Wonwoo, ‘maybe next time’ my ass, it was this time!” His dumb ass friend understood it entirely wrong and made Mingyu worry for absolutely nothing. No. Not worry. Be happy for them. That was what Mingyu was, of course. Happy. But now he was happy for himself, so the happiness could only be bigger, right? “Oh… So you guys are not…” 
“Hell no. That man sucks at mafia games, I could never do that to myself.” Mingyu grinned widely, laughing at your joke and passing the bottle to you after sipping the bacardi himself. “You look in a good mood now, Kim Mingyu. It can’t be… Were you jealous?” You queried amusingly, and Mingyu panicked. 
“No. Of course not. Alcohol just kicked in. That’s all.” He did the same thing he always did when he wasn’t being completely honest: his words were coming out way more slurred than usual, and his lower lip was suffering from repeated small bites. Yes. That man was into you. That time you knew for sure. Regardless of that, you wouldn’t hit on him for the second time. If he actually was into you, he should at least make up for the whole “dumping you” situation by making the first move this time. 
“I’m glad not. Can you imagine if you actually were into me?” You teased him once again. Just because you weren’t actively hitting on him it didn’t mean you couldn’t have a bit of fun with the whole situation, and Kim Mingyu being completely flustered was actually pretty fun. “That would mean that I couldn’t ever get close to you like this without making your heart flutter. That would be a bummer.” You said the words while diminishing the distance between you two. His breathing was heavy, and the innocent smile you were bearing was almost making him go crazy. 
“Or whisper in your ear how hot I think you are. That would probably make you shiver, but I’m glad to know that it won’t.” Once again you acted your words out, seeing the chill you provoked emerging from the nape of his neck, and getting lost inside the shirt he was wearing. 
“But since I’m not your type at all…” Your face was inches from his, and you smiled brightly and innocently, watching him glare at you, completely speechless and almost hypnotized by your every move. “I can look this closely to your eyes without fretting even a bit.” You felt Mingyu tilting his body towards you and, not even a second later, he started closing his eyes and tracing his way to you.
“How exciting, right?” And just like that, you abruptly moved away, planning on taking the Bacardi from his hands and drinking a bit more. 
Pulling away wasn’t as easy as you imagined it would be. Mingyu’s hands instinctively grabbed your waist, trying to prevent you from going any further, but before he could even process what he had just done, your phone started ringing.
Quickly the sly smile you had on your face fell flat, turning into a frown as you read that forsaken name once again on your cell phone screen. 
Mr. Ludovich
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chapter twelve - full moon full me
The power that the slight mention of that name had over you should be studied, because just reading it on your phone screen already made your good mood completely ruined, and you hadn’t even realized that you were not working for him anymore. You sighed, thinking how could that man always disturb you when you were having fun, but then it hit you: you quit. 
No matter how instinctive it was for you to simply take the call and have your night ruined, you didn’t need to do that anymore. While analyzing your face, Mingyu could almost see the engines of your brain turning as you blank stared at your phone, which kept ringing non stop. 
“Aren’t you gonna get that?” He asked. You both were still pretty close, since his hands kept you from pulling away any further, but he started loosening his grip, keeping them away from your body, but not far from it. 
“Not picking this up would be stupid…” Your gaze was locked on the screen. The call ended, but no more than three seconds later your phone lit up again, with that same enerving name popping up instantly. Mingyu wasn’t sure how to proceed, you didn’t seem to want to pick that up, but something was keeping you from simply declining it. 
“You told me a few days ago that just because something is stupid, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Is this one just stupid or also wrong?” He inquired and you started processing again, rationalizing it. 
What reasons could there be for this asshole to call you on a Friday night at eight o’clock? He could be drunk, that had happened once, but if that was the case it wouldn’t be neither stupid nor wrong to deny his call. He could have regretted his words, and was now calling to beg for you to come back. If that was the case, not picking up would be stupid, since you’d be missing an opportunity to have your job back, but it wasn’t wrong. 
“Stupid is usually more fun…” The words left your mouth unintended, but Mingyu nodded. You raised your index finger, hovering it over the decline button, but once again the phone stopped ringing before you could make the decision to decline the call by yourself. A bitter taste of disappointment started to flourish in your mouth, but it didn’t take long, since a few seconds later your phone started ringing again. 
An excited smile showed up on your face, and Mingyu kept watching you, intrigued by what on earth that was about. You sank your finger on the screen of your phone, pressing the red button as hard as you could, and then you finally glanced a Mingyu, smiling so brightly that it made him think that, even though it was stupid - he wasn’t even sure about that part -, it couldn’t possibly be wrong, seeing you smile like that. “Should we open the other bottle?” 
‘Y-yeah. Sure.” He stuttered a bit, but his hands went to the still closed bottle of bacardi and he opened it once again very skillfully, drinking a bit and then tossing it your way with a small wink. “Who was that?” Mingyu asked, noticing that the alcohol had started kicking in. His filter was already a bit broken while not under the influence, but when he started getting drunk it simply vanished, and every thought was rapidly verbalized. 
“My boss.” You answered, and watching Mingyu’s slanted eyes almost turning into balls with how much he had opened them in shock, you nodded, explaining it: “Not boss. Not anymore. My Ex-Boss.”
"XBox?" He asked, fully aware of what you had just said, but hoping that with that silly joke he could’ve got a glimpse of your smile once again. You looked at him dead serious, but seeing him childishly smiling, biting his lower lip completely and covering it with his sharp teeth, you couldn’t help but to giggle. Mingyu realized that that had got to be Mingyu’s favorite sound in the entire world, and he would make any effort necessary to listen to it as much as he could, even though it meant making a fool out of himself constantly. Your eyes were already small because you were also a bit inebriated, and that laugh made you close them completely.
“Stop making me laugh. I can’t see when I’m laughing.” You whined and it was Mingyu’s turn to burst into laughter. His hand went straight to your glasses, and he softly took them off your face, repeating the same movement to take off his own glasses. 
“There. Now neither of us can see. We’re even.” He had a presumptuous smile on his face, and you simply laughed again. Murmuring something amongst the lines of “you’re so stupid” before drinking a bit more and handing the bottle back to Kim Mingyu. 
“Can I ask you something?” After a few minutes in silence, you decided to speak up once more, calling Mingyu’s attention almost instantly. He nodded and you mimicked his movements. “Why did you want to draw that?” Your hand pointed to the notebook that had been tossed to the side since you both started drinking. Mingyu looked at it, squinting a bit to check the drawing and turning his eyes back to you.
“How can I put this…” He adjusted his posture, tilting his body slightly so that he could face you directly. “I don’t usually draw that. Landscapes and stuff like that. My drawings are usually more abstract.” You nodded, indicating that you were understanding what he was saying. “But it’s also the way I can express myself, and… I swear this is not drunk talk.” He warned and you giggled.
“Yes, yes… Go on. I’m not thinking that it is the booze who’s talking… Go on. It’s nice watching you talk about this, your eyes glisten.” You insisted for him to continue, and so he did. Sliding a little bit closer to you as he would say the next few words. 
“I kinda saw myself in that situation. The moon not being full and the lake making it seem like it was, that situation. Not now me, though. Now me is full… of alcohol, but full.” You smiled at him. It was comforting to know that you hadn’t been the only one to think that. Maybe you weren’t as lonely as you thought after all. “Are you… full?” 
“Of alcohol, yes.” You answered amusingly and he giggled. It was cute seeing him laugh at - in a sense - his own lame joke. “What made you feel like you weren’t?” 
“Let’s just say that I could never tell the difference between just stupid and plain wrong by myself, and that caused me to… Do some very wrong things before I actually found what I liked.” He was quick to confess and you nodded. 
“Well, if you ever have that doubt again you can just… knock on my door. Ok?” You didn’t notice, but you also moved a bit closer to him during the conversation. Mingyu raised his pinky finger, holding it in front of you with a sweet smile on his face. 
“I’ll knock on yours if you knock on mine.” He said simply, and you agreed, raising your own finger and intertwining it with his. Mingyu smiled brightly, letting both of your hands fall without him ever letting go of your finger. “Can I ask you something?” Your head moved up and down, agreeingly, and he pointed with his free hand to your collarbone. “What’s up with the snake tattoos? I saw you have at least two.”
“Oh, so you were staring at my legs? Is that it?” His ears started getting red, along with his red-tinted cheeks, and you let a giggle escape. “Seriously, you shouldn’t let making you get flustered be that fun, Kim Mingyu. I keep wanting to mess with you every single time.” His gaze shifted completely, and a seemingly dangerous smirk appeared on his face, so you just decided to do what you were best at: not engage and stand your position while playing dumb. Answering his question was easy: 
“I like snakes. You know how there is always that weird kid that is way too much into dinosaurs, or… or astronomy, or maybe…” 
“Tigers.” He blurted, watching you look confused to him as soon as he said it. “Soonyoung. Soonyoung is obsessed with tigers. His dance studio name is Hoshi, “Eyes of the Tiger’”. 
“Yes, kind of like that. I was like that with snakes. My cousin had a pet snake and I got so obsessed over it I memorized different species. When Rae asked me if she could tattoo a snake on me I got so excited I almost cried.” Alcohol made you awfully truthful, maybe a bit of an oversharer, but Mingyu didn’t seem to be bothered with all your jabbering. 
“What’s your favorite snake, then?” His hand made its way to your collarbone, softly sliding his fingers bypassing the tattoo. You tilted your head slightly to the right, welcoming his gentle touch, and thinking a bit before answering his question. 
“I think Epicrates cenchria. Their skin is iridescent, like…Their scales have some different ridges that end up refracting light and creating this beautiful pattern. They’re called Rainbow Boas because of it.” 
“What a nerd.” He joked, receiving a nice friendly punch on his arm and a middle finger raised in his direction. “I’m joking, it’s cute watching you talk like that, especially because I can tell you’re drunk just by the way you pronounced iridescent just now.” You stuck your tongue out, making him laugh once again, and you followed him in no time, giggling alongside. 
You both kept talking about the smallest and silliest things your drunken brains would come up with, and it all felt so comfortable that it was only when the first rays of sun started emerging in the horizon that you noticed how long you’d been there. 
“Fuck. What’s the morning schedule?” You blurted as soon as you realized how late it was, and Mingyu ran inside his room, getting the sheet of paper and giving it to you. After putting your glasses on, you started scanning the page, feeling a huge relief when you saw that - because of the Happy BooDay. The one where we celebrate my life. - the morning was marked as “sleep tight cause we’ll be up all night” on the schedule. You gave the good news to Mingyu, getting up and climbing the rail once again to go back to your own balcony. 
“You can just… use the door, you know?” He commented and you just shimmid your head from one side to the other. 
“No. It’s already daytime, someone could see me leaving your room and misunderstand something. I figured that happens often here.” You gave him a sassy look and he pressed both of his lips against each other, closing his eyes lightly. Before you got inside your room, he called your name. He was still standing in the same position, but his expression almost caused chills all over your body. With a sheepish smile he uttered words that for sure would keep you awake for a little longer:
“If you want, you can use the door next time.”
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chapter thirteen - secret mission
“Close the door behind you!” Seungkwan whispered as soon as you walked into his room, finding him, Seungcheol and Minghao all sitting in a semicircle on top of his king sized bed. You squinted, still unsure what that was about. Seungkwan had knocked on your door a few minutes prior, calling an emergency meeting, and telling you to go by yourself to his bedroom. To your surprise, Rae wasn’t there, nor was Vernon, and it all seemed a bit odd. 
As soon as you sat down next to Minghao, someone knocked on the door again. Robin slid her tiny figure inside the room while Seungkwan whispered once again to shut the door, and indicated his bed for her to sit on, almost like he was a robot or an NPC, giving the same instructions over and over again. 
“What’s this about?” You asked Minghao. Your head was hurting a bit, but your hangover wasn’t even half as bad as what you thought it would be, so you couldn’t help but to feel a little victorious. The black-haired man looked at you, seeming as clueless as you were, and just shrugged a bit before talking. His glasses were so low on his nose you couldn’t help but to ask yourself if he actually used them to see or was just a stylish choice, and his mullet was a bit messy, but still looked good enough to be on the cover of any magazine.
“I have no fucking clue, he just knocked on my door and told me to come.” Seungcheol nodded, showing that he was paying attention to the conversation and also had no idea what on earth he was doing in Seungkwan’s room at that moment. When Robin finally sat down, the blond man turned his room key, locking the door, and then returned to his spot. 
“Ok. So I gathered you all here today with a mission.” He started talking and you couldn’t help but to giggle a bit. You loved him so fucking much that you were sure you’d do whatever nonsense this was about. Hell, you’d do anything Seungkwan asked of you in a heartbeat, he was too adorable for you to deny him of anything. “Keeping Raena away from the microphone.” 
“Oh god, I’m in.” Minghao declared, not needing more words than that to agree with this “mission”. He was in physical pain listening to her singing, completely drunk, to Marvin Gaye’s song on karaoke night, and if he had to stand that torture again, he wasn’t sure if he’d be alive afterwards. The problem wasn’t that she was a bad singer, no one is obligated to keep a tune, but her drunk self was absolutely sure she was the next Beyonce, and that ended up making it unbearable to watch. 
“Why? I liked her singing last time.” Robin commented, and every single person on that circle looked at her completely baffled. 
“Oh, shut up, you probably were too drunk to notice.” Seungkwan nagged and you and Cheol laughed at his angry tone. He was pouting a bit and his eyebrows were puckered, and, with just that as an indicator, you knew he was one hundred percent serious. “Anyway, today is my birthday party and I’d like to spend a lot of time with my friends, and that won’t be possible if Rae kicks everyone out with her lack of skill.” 
“Jessica should be in this meeting…” You commented, and Seungkwan opened his mouth wide, as if he had just realized he’d forgotten the most important thing he had to do. “I don’t think I’m able to stop drunk Raena, last time I tried, she cried, and then I cried along… Suddenly we ended up singing this trashy song about friendship.” 
Seungkwan trembled with the memory, remembering exactly what day that was. “Yes. Yes. I will… No. Seungcheol will talk to Jessica.” He declared. Making Cheol pout and furrow his eyebrows in response. 
“Why me?” The oldest person in that room whined like a child and you just felt glad that Seungkwan hadn’t delegated that task to you, since Raena would probably take it as a treason if she ever found out and, knowing her like you did, she would - eventually - find out this masterplan. 
“Because I have shit to do. And you’re the closest to Jessica amongst us all.” He rationalized and Seungcheol couldn’t help but to agree. He was right, after all. You all promised Seungkwan that you’d try your best to keep Rae away from the microphone after her third dose of liquor, and he soon dismissed you, telling you that it was time to get ready for the party. 
Shortly you were all meeting each other again at the lounge of the pier, which was filled with party decorations, a bunch of food spreaded around, alcohol on basically every single table and a happy Seungkwan, smiling brightly at what he had accomplished. He didn’t let any of you help with the decorations, insisting that “it should be a surprise”, so you didn’t expect it to be this well put together. It was foolish of you, anyway, Seungkwan had never done anything half-heartedly. 
Party started in no time, and to the sound of Seungkwan’s party playlist you all started dancing, drinking and having fun. Next thing you know, you were with your arms wrapped around your best friend at midnight, wishing him a happy birthday and trying to pull him to the side to give him his gift. You were a bit drunk, but not as much as he was, and you loved to see his silly smile and scrunched red-tinted nose. 
“Ok, this is just… a little thing. I bought it in town. Your real gift is at home, ok? I was gonna give it to you when you came back.” You kept handing him over the little package you had in your hands, but pulling it back while warning him about that. Seungkwan was about to run out of patience, so he just spreaded his hand, demanding you to give it to him already. 
“I know I’ll like it anyway. Don’t worry about it and just give it to me, please.” He was pouty, and as soon as the package was delivered into his hands, he kissed you on the cheek, grinning brightly and starting to open the gift.
Inside the package, he found a hand-made bead bracelet, with white and transparent beads shaping the circle, and being closed by a small tangerine ornament that was delicate and yet beautiful - at least to Seungkwan at that moment. “Hm… So, since I always feel home when I’m with you, I made this for you to always remember your home when you think of me too.” You said timidly.
You felt something wet on your shirt when he pulled you in for a hug, and as soon as he sniffled you knew he was crying. His grip was tight around you and between some sniffles and sights you heard him say a few words that almost made you tear up alongside. “Thank you for coming this time, it would be so empty without you.” 
How could you ever consider not going? What the fuck was going through your mind for being such a terrible friend, for staying away for so long, for changing so drastically thinking that it wouldn’t impact the people around you just as much as it did to you? The fact that you wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for Seungkwan shaking you into reality once again didn’t have to be mentioned. As soon as you looked into his eyes he shook his head, and you could almost hear his intentions in your head: I know I helped. But you chose to quit yourself. 
Being an adult could be very lonely most of the time. You constantly regretted so many things you’ve done, but yet the burden of the consequences were always something you had to carry by yourself. Oddly, Seungkwan never let you feel like you were alone, it always seemed like he was carrying that weight with you, but if you looked closely he wasn’t. Just like your father used to guarantee you that he was holding tight onto the saddle of your bike when you were first learning to ride it, Seungkwan would always make you feel safe enough to defy yourself, learn and do new things. If you paid close attention, he was just running beside you, ready to sustain you if you ever needed him to, but letting you have the glory of conquest by yourself. 
Before you could say anything else, some cold hands took Seungkwan off of your arms, holding him while he screamed a happy birthday. Seokmin was drunk as fuck, and you were sure of it when he saw Seungkwan’s tears marks and started crying himself. You decided it was time for you to step away, since Joshua had told you earlier that Seokmin could be a very clingy drunk, and you didn’t want to be dragged into a group hug just yet. 
Soon there was a crowd of people around your best friend, and you were quick to see Raena slowly walking towards the karaoke machine while everyone was too busy to stop her. You’d seen during the night Minghao talking - way too much for it to be normal - to Rae about tattoos. Seungcheol also approached her eventually when she was on her way to “declare her love to Seungkwan” on a mic, and Jessica kept her very busy the entire night, but that didn’t seem to bother her at all.
“Aren’t you gonna wish him a happy birthday? It’s midnight! It’s already the 16th.” She was definitely caught off guard, jumping a little bit when you uttered the first words and almost dropping the microphone she was trying hard to turn on. She soon opened a furtive smile, squinting her eyes and showing the microphone that she was holding with so much strength that the tip of her fingers were white.
“I am. Now help me put the song for me to sing. That one…” She was gesticulating at every single word she’d say, and you - in your slightly-less-but-not-that-much drunken state - started to follow the microphone with your own hands, expecting to take it from hers. “It’s like ‘happy birth… day… to… you.” She started singing the words in a very slow and slurred way, with her eyes closed, and her hands swaying on top of her head, and you giggled at the scene. 
“Ok. Before you do that, I’ll tell you a secret.” You told her, waving your hand asking her to get closer to you and, after a bit of a stumble, she did, placing her right arm over your shoulder and lowering her body to listen to you. “Seungkwan told me he really wanted you to wish him a happy birthday with just the two of you. For intimacy purposes.” Even though you were drunk, you didn’t usually stammer or look as drunk as you were, so to Rae, who was already absolutely busted, your words seemed extremely reliable. 
“Damn. That man wants e-ve-ry-thingy his way. Lucky him that today’s his birthday.” She was once again with her eyes a bit closed, and she would speak the words as if connecting them was the hardest thing she had to do that day. “Here, hold the mic, I’ll be right back.” And just like that she handed you the microphone, holding Seungkwan by his collar and pulling him out of the lounge in a very clumsy manner. 
You scanned the place looking for someone who you could trust with the mic, but the only thing you saw was Mingyu walking towards you. He was wearing a black shirt under a gray-ish jacket. One of the corners of his mouth lifted when he locked eyes with you, and he started walking a bit faster, getting to you in no time. This was the first time you’d properly talk to him during the party; for the first part of it you were too busy keeping Raena away from the drinks, then you were keeping drunk Raena away from the karaoke, and Mingyu also seemed to be pretty busy playing silly games with Seokmin. 
“No glasses today?” He approached you, and you simply denied with your head, just throwing the microphone anywhere and turning your attention back to him. “You look pretty without glasses.”
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t fucking see myself in the mirror without them.” Mingyu giggled, stopping in front of you and smiling brightly, so much you could actually distinguish his pointy teeth even without your glasses. “My makeup is fire, though. I took a picture to see it before leaving the glasses in the bedroom.” You bragged. 
“Is it? I can’t see it that well, I should…” Mingyu’s hand went to your hair, pulling a small strand of it that was falling on your eyes and plucking it behind your ear, using your makeup as an excuse to approach a little more. His face was inches from yours, and you could finally see it clearly. You didn’t dare to close your eyes, but he seemed intrigued by the eyeliner wings that could be seen. 
“Oh, you have a mole right here too. I hadn’t seen it before.” You said nonchalantly, holding his face with both of your hands and having it as close to yours as possible before your lips actually touched. His eyes were dark when you changed your gaze to it, but you simply opened a cheeky smile, touching the point of his nose - as to mark where the mole was - and abruptly pulling away. 
Once again that task wasn’t as easy as you’d anticipated, and Mingyu’s hands were quick to find your waist once again, almost as if they were magnetically connected to them somehow. “Wanna dance?” He inquired and you just nodded, finally noticing that Seungkwan had returned to the lounge and was currently swinging Vernon from one side to the other in the impropted dance floor. 
Mingyu held your hand, pulling you to the center of the lounge, and when he was satisfied with your position, he took it straight to his neck, surrounding you with his own arms. The song wasn’t exactly slow, but it was definitely slower than all the other songs that had been played that night. You started swinging from one side to the other, making a gentle movement on Mingyu’s neck and quickly noticing the small shiver you’ve caused with that small gesture. He smiled at you, pulling you a bit closer and closing his grip a bit more so that neither of you could leave that position.
“Did you survive today? I had a terrible hangover… light was my worst enemy.” Mingyu started small talk, but none of his other movements seemed to be any less than calculated. The way he’d press his fingertips each time deeper onto your covered skin, the way he got closer to your neck than to your ear to whisper those words, the sassy smile he was holding when he moved his head back again… His words were friendly, but his actions were far from it, and you enjoyed every bit of it. 
“Oh, I wouldn’t take you as a weak one, Kim Mingyu.” Your voice was provocative, and you saw him biting his lower lip while he raised his head a bit, looking you from higher than you were used to. He spread his hand on the back part of your waist, using it to pull you even closer to him, making the distance between your bodies vanish completely. 
Once more he lowered his body, placing one of his hands on your neck and using his thumb to tilt your head upwards. He whispered the words, and if you weren’t as close to him as you were, you probably wouldn’t hear them, but you did, and they made a small fire lit up inside of you. “Want me to change your mind?” 
It was your turn to bite your lips, still fully unable to process everything as quickly as you would if you were sober, but you soon opened a cheeky smile, “You can try…” You could almost see fire in his eyes, but you weren’t sure if that just wasn’t the reflection of your own, because judging by the way you felt, it might just well have been. An innocent smile took place on his face, but his eyes contrasted completely with them. He loosened his grip, but it didn’t make you pull any further, and that seemed to please him more than you would’ve thought. 
It’s happening. This shit is finally happening. Mingyu’s intoxicated brain couldn’t think of anything else. His heart was pounding on his chest, but there was no doubt that the two of you wanted that. To his surprise, a dark slender hand appeared between the two of you, covering your mouth and pulling you a bit away from him. “You said you wouldn’t kiss him. Be strong my friend.” 
And suddenly his mind could formulate another thought: I will fucking kill drunk Raena.
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chapter fourteen - two truths and a lie 
If cockblocking was a sport Raena would definitely take the first place on this trip, and that says a lot about the situation since Lee Seokmin was also on that said trip. Your eyes were open wide while she kept pulling you away from Mingyu without ever taking her hand off of your mouth, and you did the most mature thing you could think of at the moment: you stuck your tongue out and hoped she got disturbed by you licking her hand.
“Ew. Mouth sweat…” She complained, shaking her hand in an attempt to get rid of the saliva. Mingyu was static, feeling that if he moved he would either kiss you right there or scream like a child whose toy just got taken from him. Fearing the latter, he kept quiet, silently watching and deep down praying you would kick Raena’s ass for interrupting the two of you like that. 
“What the fuck, Rae?!” You barked, and she rapidly turned her head to you. Not her gaze, though, since her eyes were so low she had to lift her head a bit to actually be able to look you in the eyes, and then she just repeated herself, pointing at Mingyu with her recently licked hand. 
“You…” Her palm spreaded on your chest with a bit more strength than she probably intended, but that didn’t bother you at all. “.. said you wouldn’t kiss this man.” And there it was, her index finger pointed directly to Mingyu’s chin, which apparently was the higher she could point at that moment. “Be strong… my friend.” She concluded, shaking you a bit with the hand that was still on you and smiling innocently afterwards. 
“We were not-” You started arguing, but the finger she had just pointed to Mingyu went straight to your mouth, and you were still able to feel it a bit wet from your saliva. If it had been anyone else’s “mouth juices”, any second of it would be too much for you to bear, but since it was yours, you were able to prevent yourself from kicking her ass.
“Don’t lie to me, my little Mrs. Darcy, I…” Her finger went to her chest, and she tumbled a bit, but Mingyu was able to hold her and keep her up and ready to jabber some more nonsense. “... am an empath.” Your eyes went to Mingyu immediately, finding him looking at you as well. His lips turned into a line and he closed his eyes, looking to the other side, as he held a laugh the best he could. You simply bit your tongue, nodding and pretending that she was being reasonable. 
“I can feel the sexual tension here. It’s… palpable. Check this out.” She made a move that would put her in between the two of you, stumbling a bit before acting like she couldn’t go through anymore. “See? The tension!” 
“But why can’t we-'' Mingyu wasn’t even thinking about hiding his intentions anymore, for him it was crystal clear that you reciprocated his feelings and, because of that, he could just tell Rae off and finally do what he had been craving to do for the past week. You, on the other hand, weren't thinking the same. 
“There’s no sexual tension. Mingyu and I are friends. I’m not his type, remember?” Trying to reason with a drunk person was never a good idea, and seeing Rae swing her head from one side to the other made you realize your attempt was unsuccessful. Unfortunately, Rae wasn’t the only drunk amongst the three of you, and your intoxicated brain was yelling at you that you should keep your pride and not admit to wanting to kiss Mingyu after saying you wouldn’t so many times. 
“Whatever you want to believe, Miss Ariel and Prince Eric in that canoe while the crab was singing. Just keep it inside your pants today, ok?” She shushed you and Mingyu, who had just opened his mouth to protest. “Kwanie said he wanted to spend the entire night with his friends. Look how fucking cute I am… and I haven’t made a move on Jessica at all for Kwanies sake. Be good friends and do that too, will you?” 
You looked at Mingyu once again, and Rae’s eyes followed your gaze. She turned his attention to him completely, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and smiling like a salesperson would before offering you the most hideous outfit ever. “Ok. She says she won’t hook up with you and this bitch is prideful as fuck, but I can’t trust you… What do you say, Kim Mingi?”
 He sighed before opening his mouth once again, not being cut before finishing his phrase this time: “Yes, I won’t make any moves on her tonight, Raena.” He declared in a monotone, and your best friend clapped happily, entangling her arms in yours and Mingyu’s and pulling the two of you closer to where Seungkwan was still dancing with Vernon. 
“GROUP HUG!” She yelled and you felt your eyes rolling back. Fuck, you felt it coming, but you thought Seokmin would be the one to do it, not fucking Raena. She squished you inside a hug, caughting Vernon and Seungkwan by surprise, especially when Seokmin appeared out of thin air and smashed them all together. Soonyoung got there almost as quickly as the other man had, and brought Jihoon with him. Next thing you knew, the only people outside of that ridiculous hug was Minghao and Wonwoo, who looked terrified at the mash of people swinging together in the middle of the lounge. 
It felt nice. It felt so nice you hated it. You were more of an introverted yourself, and you could never fully understand how Seungkwan had so many friends, but you had to admit that standing there, surrounded by smiley drunk people that loved each other to death felt great. Your eyes crinkled at the corners, vanishing as soon as you let the stubborn smile that was trying to emerge finally take form on your lips, and when you looked to your side you saw Mingyu looking at you, with a smile flickering across his face. 
“You loved it. Admit it. I saw you smiling.” Seungkwan teased you when the group hug dispersed itself and everyone scattered on the lounge to either drink, eat or dance. You were sitting on a table with Raena, Jessica, Seungkwan, Mingyu and Seokmin, while Vernon was carefully picking out food to take to you after he lost the rock, paper and scissors. 
“I was smiling just as much as you.” You hissed, but you saw Seungkwan pout and lifted his shoulders a bit, smiling at Vernon when he placed the food right in front of the birthday boy and sat next to him. 
“I loved it. Point proved." He said before throwing some snacks inside his mouth. Everyone seemed to be sobering up, and most of the people had traded the alcohol for water in order to be alive and be able to participate in the following day’s activities. Seokmin seemed to be a bit bored, his face was propped up onto his hands and he was looking nowhere in particular. 
“Why don’t we play a game?” Seokmin proposed, and most of you dangled your heads from one side to the other, denying anything that could make you drink another bit of alcohol. “Losers drink water, come on…” He started poking Seungkwan’s arm, trying to convince him because he knew damn well that all the others would do whatever Seungkwan asked of them that day. 
“Ok. Ok. Let’s play a game.” Seungkwan complied and Seokmin beamed at it, finally straightening his posture and thinking about something he’d like to play. “Nothing too stupid. Or complicated, I’m still a bit drunk.” Seungkwan insisted, making Seokmin scrunch his nose and go back to thinking. 
“How about this… We all say three things about ourselves, two truths and a lie, and whoever can’t find the lie must drink.” He seemed so excited by it that you almost felt a bit excited yourself. Maybe it had to do with the fact that, with that game, you could know a little more about Seungkwan’s friends, maybe it was just the remaining alcohol in your blood making you think that it was a good idea. Whichever it was, made you start thinking about three things about you. “Ok, Seungkwan can go first.” 
Everybody got Seungkwan’s right, and him going first was probably a bit silly since everyone on that table knew him better than themselves. Vernon was next, and you were surprised to find out that his name wasn’t actually Vernon, but Hansol, and Vernon was simply one of his last names. Only Seungkwan was able to guess yours, but seeing Mingyu actually trying his best to figure you out made a small dimple show in your cheek. It was on her turn that you all realized Rae was deeply sleeping on her seat. 
“Ok. We should wrap it up. Later we’ll have a busy day!” Seungkwan declared, standing up and clapping twice in order to wake Rae up. Seokmin seemed to be a bit bummed, but you decided that taking Rae to her room and not standing there to figure out if he actually was was the best decision for you at that moment. 
The alcohol on your body was almost completely gone, and thankfully there was no sign of hangover whatsoever. Not mixing beverages was the best decision you had made that day, and watching Rae - who mixed up a lot of shit - stumbling on your way to her room, even with your arm wrapped around her, made you twice as glad. 
After what seemed to be hours of you trying to give your stubborn friend a shower, you slowly started your way back to your room. There was no one in sight and you probably had spent more time tucking Rae in than you thought, because your expectation was to find at least one person outside. You raised your arm, intending to see what time it was, but the absence of your glasses made it impossible for you to see, so you just kept walking towards your room, throwing yourself on the bed while deliberating about showering. 
As soon as you got up, decided to suck up your laziness and get yourself cleaned up before sleeping, you heard a few knocks on your door. It started as just one, but after a few seconds two more followed the first. You made your way there, opening the door and finding Mingyu standing outside, ready to knock a fourth time. “Hey.” He said, smiling a bit and raising his hand in an automatic movement. 
“Hey… Is there something wrong?” He had never knocked on your door again, and for some reason you remembered the pinky promise both of you made - yes, in a slightly inebriated state - about knocking on each other’s doors if you wanted to know if something was not correct. He nodded, and you got out of your room, leaving the door half open. 
“I never got to tell my two truths and a lie.” He pouted and you couldn’t help but to laugh. That was what this was about? Mingyu tried really hard getting yours right, so he probably was interested in the game after all, and wanting to tell his propositions so bad he ended up knocking on your door. Once again you found yourself thinking that that monument of a man was cute, seeing him standing in front of you and being three heads taller made the word seem off, but you couldn’t see no other way to put it. 
“Ok. Go ahead. I’ll try my best.” The corners of your mouths raised in a toothless smile, and he showed his fangs listening to your answer. He bit his lower lip, raising one of his fingers before speaking. 
“One. I’m terribly afraid of heights.” He started counting and you kept watching his lips moving. The alcohol was making them look hypnotic, especially because of the way he would stick them out to pronounce the words. “Two. My name is Kim Mingyu.” His gaze started shifting and you felt a small shiver run through your body. Those options were obviously true. “Three. I won’t make any moves on you tonight.” 
It took him no more than a second to eliminate any distance between you two, and soon you felt his mouth nudging onto yours. His hands went to your face, lifting it gently and the soft peck turned into a small bite in your lower lip, which he stretched a bit before moving away, leaving you with a parted mouth and a racing heart. 
“I have three more.” You said, still too close to him to feel anything but fire all over your body. “One. I gave Seungkwan a beaded bracelet. Two. I have tattoos.” You put your hand on the handle of your door, opening it behind you. 
“Three… You shouldn’t lock it after you get in.” 
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[SMUT WARNING FOR MY FELLOW BABIES WHO DON'T LIKE IT] chapter fifteen - green lights
There was a lingering silence between the two of you, and then your back was clashing onto your room’s door. You grinned upon the pressure his lips made on your mouth, but that only left space for him to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue in, and dipping his fingers on your waist once again. The heat from that slight touch radiated through your body, and immediately made you realize how much you were craving for it, how much you needed his touch; ever since the day he’d sink them there, it always felt empty without his strong grip. 
Your hands went straight to the handle of your door, opening it and then pulling Mingyu in by the collar of his shirt. Every cell of your body seemed to be intoxicated by the faint smell of his sweet perfume, and you could tell just by that that you were already addicted to him. 
Mingyu’s hands went under your shirt, and started to slowly move up as he was pulling you closer and closer, until there was nowhere to go anymore. His sharp teeth bit your lower lip once, and even with your eyes closed you could feel a smile appearing on his face, even with his mouth still glued to yours. 
The sound of your door being closed shut made you open your eyes again, only to see Mingyu with one foot up and his eyes glued to you in an almost adoring way. You couldn't help but to smirk at him, who immediately ran his fingers to your nape and asked you in a rusky voice a simple: “What?”, smiling sheepishly right afterwards. 
“Such an odd thing to do to someone who’s not your type, Kim Mingyu.” You provoked him, but the only impact your words caused this time was to widen his sly expression and pull your hair just a little bit, making you tilt your head slightly to the left and clearing a path for him to whisper in your ear. 
“Oh… I haven’t even started yet.” A small shiver ran through your body as he began to give small pecks on your neck. You almost didn’t realize his hands leaving your hair and moving slyly to your thighs, grabbing them and pulling you up with such low effort that you couldn’t help but to look at his arms, watching the small veins popping up one by one while his lips still went down on your neck spreading kisses. 
The slight nervousness that had made your heart tremble for a moment vanished when he pressed his mouth to your collarbone, and it was replaced by an unbearable heat that started spreading through your body. To the best of your abilities, your tried not to moan shamefully when his tongue went back to the side of your neck, tracing all the way up to your ear, sinking his canines slightly close to your earlobe, sucking the place instantly and making your head spin simply from that small pressure.
“Now would be a terrible time to say I just noticed the moon tattooed behind your ear, wouldn’t it?” He took his lips out of your neck and looked at you while uttering the phrase, and your mouth contracted into an involuntary smile. 
“No, cause I also just noticed another mole you have.” You mumbled and Mingyu’s gaze was filled with an innocent and a youthful expression as he secured his hands around your thighs and started to slowly walk towards your bed. 
“Which one? The one on the nose?” He asked, sitting while still keeping you on his lap, and for the first time you felt the hardness under his pants, which made your arousal only worse. You waved your head from one side to the other, placing a wet kiss just below his jaw. His eyes closed instantly and his hands once again held your waist underneath your shirt. 
“This one.” Your mouth was almost glued to his neck and he could feel the warmness of your breath softly brushing against his skin. Without being able to take any other second away from them, you rushed to his lips, brushing your tongue on his and diving deeper than the other kisses. 
His hands started to make their way up, pushing your shirt inch by inch in the meantime, and when he finally got it at your chin level, you pulled away from him, letting Mingyu remove that piece of clothing from your body. As you started undressing him as well, he took his time finally taking a good look at your tattoos. You were a work of art, with the tattoos framing beautifully every inch of your body. 
There was a small thud when his shirt met the floor, but it couldn’t barely be noticed, because not long after that Mingyu was pinning your body against the bed, nudging into your lips with a heated kiss. 
You gasped with the feeling of his big hands cupping your chest in a soft massage, but he left you no space to react as his lips found their way back to yours in a heartbeat. He thrusted forward, making his erection rub exactly the right way in your slit, and your mouth - still between his lips - opened letting a small pant come out. 
“Fuck, Gyu.” The words left your mouth unintentionally, but they made Mingyu’s smirk grow, as he started to trace your tattoos with small kisses and went down until he reached the snake on your collarbone. He continued his path down, sucking the skin from your chest and almost making you beg for him to give some attention to your very hardened peaks. The way he ripped your bra open from the front made a shiver run through your body, but instead of finally feeling his lips on your breast, you felt a huge emptiness when he got on his knees and pulled his body away from yours. 
“Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone so bad in my whole life.” From your point of view, you could see his darkened gaze, the stiffness underneath his pants and the damn adoring smile staggered on his damn lips. This man would be the death of you, and you would enjoy every single bit of it. 
Your hands went straight to his pants, but he took them off before you could unbutton them, holding your wrists with his right hand over your head while slowly grazing his fingertips on your exposed skin. “You always want to do things in your way, don’t you?” His face started getting closer to yours, and you felt your eyes closing shut, craving for the velvety touch of his lips on you, but you’re given nothing besides his hot breathing against your skin and the agony growing on your stomach. “Unfortunately I’ve spent too much time thinking about what I wanted to do to you to let this opportunity pass.”
Mingyu wrapped his lips around one of your nipples while his free hand made small circular massages on the other one. You dug your feet into the mattress, feeling so much pleasure from that single movement that you couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like to have him inside you. Once again you whispered his name, with an airy voice, doing your best to keep the volume at minimal. 
His mouth engulfed the other breast, and he carefully took the hand that was pinning your wrists, putting two fingers inside your mouth, which you promptly sucked and gave a broad lick while he took them out. He purred your name, but didn’t let that small teasing affect his next actions, which were taken regardless of your pleadings. That hand went to the other nipple, pinching it slowly and making small movements to dismiss the pleasure before he did it again. 
You made the mistake of peering at the man on top of you, and felt your blood buzzing at the scene. Mingyu’s eyes were completely darkened, so focused on you, and when he saw you looking, his sharp teeth bit the pebbled flesh, sucking right after. You felt the sheer desire aching between your thighs, as it got wetter by the minute. Your hands went straight to Mingyu’s hair, pulling them as soon as you touched his strands as you watched him enjoying your every reaction to his touches. 
The quickness in which your hand went back to his trousers, unbuttoning and unzipping it before he could even realize it, got him off guard. You felt your body quiver when he stopped what he was doing and took both of his hands to pin your wrists beside your head, grinning at you and waving his head from one side to the other. 
“For someone who likes to tease you’re pretty impatient, you know?” His husky voice murmured in your ear, and you couldn’t help but to bite your lower lip, turning his head to match his gaze. Mingyu could drown in those deep eyes any day, feeling them immediately pulling him inside just like a sea current would once he got inside its waters. 
“I don’t like teasing…” You murmured, feeling him leaving small kisses on your mouth and almost losing your train of thought when his knee went between your thighs. “... I just like teasing you.” You stretched the last word and that made small fires burst through Mingyu’s body as his face shifted to a big smile he was unable to hide. 
His mouth started lowering your body inch by inch, as his kisses got wetter and with more pressure than before. After playing a bit with your chest, he lowered his body once again, and the hot kiss he left just a bit above the hem of your shorts stirred the pressure inside you, and you instinctively begged him to take them off.
Mingyu stopped what he was doing, holding your wrists and moving so that he could see your face. You were already panty, with a deep pink shade spreaded on your cheeks. The way that man looked at you could cause your heart to stop, making you fall apart in an instant. Mingyu bit his lower lip, smirking and kissing you before uttering the next phrase: “Well, I guess I can say I like teasing you too.”
He was good at that game, you must admit, but the thing Mingyu didn’t know or at least pretended not to know was that you were definitely better. Your gaze suddenly darkened, and your mouth turned into a sneer just for a second before you wrapped your legs around his waist and made him feel that damp spot he had just caused. Your mouth enfolded his in the deepest kiss you’ve shared so far, and you made sure to whisper against his mouth with the utmost lip movement you could put on the phrase so that your lips would graze in every single word: “I can wait cause I know you’ll fuck me real good. I’m very patient.” 
Mingyu’s body squirmed above you as you jerked once to make his intimacy touch yours once again, and a low moan formed on his throat as he puffed loudly, closing his eyes and clashing his lips onto yours. “Actually, I don’t feel that patient anymore.” He murmured, with no trace of a smile in his face, that was overthrown by the deep darkness inside his eyes. He let go of your hands, but you didn’t move them even a bit, watching as - with his eyes glued on yours - Mingyu started to trace a way with his finger nails through your stomach to your shorts. 
He moved his fingers inside your pants, going straight to your dripping cunt, and letting your name escape in a moan when he felt the wetness of your slit with his own hands. “Fuck, fuck.” You cussed as he gently brushed his fingers on your bud, but he didn’t spend too much time there. 
“God, I wanna eat you out so bad…” The fingers that had just been inside you went to his mouth, and he puffed after finally feeling your taste, continuing his phrase afterwards: “But I fear you’ll wake everybody up if I do.” The knot on the bottom of your stomach tightened itself and you jolted in expectation. Your mind was so clouded by lust that the only thing you could do at that moment was to think about how much you wanted him to touch you with his big hands so badly.
“M-Mingyu, please.” That day was the first time in your life you’ve ever bagged for something. The biggest possession you had before that day was your pride, but fucking Kim Mingyu rook it’s place and now a bit of pride was noting compared to how much you wanted him. How much you needed him to touch you, to fill you. 
“Are you gonna be a good girl, then?” He asked, calmly taking your pants off, but without ever breaking eye contact. He’s not clumsy at all, he’s a fucking liar. A stupidly hot liar that should take these fucking pants faster. Your mind took the opportunity of Mingyu’s hands away from you and your brain actually made sinapses again to think, but all that was there was him. He was ruining you, and you wanted to be ruined. 
“Yes.” You blurted, making him laugh with a deeper voice than usual, but you weren’t able to rejoice in that small moment because he finally took his eyes off of yours, staring at your intimacy and biting his lower lip again before starting to give wet kisses all over your inner thighs while taking them out of his hips. 
Your body was already tingling with the warmness of his mouth being pressed against your bare skin, making your toes curl beneath him as he approached your cunt with his upward trail of kisses. You bite your lip, suppressing a loud groan that almost came out when his tongue dragged along your slit. “Good girl.” He whispers in a melting voice. 
Incoherent words start slipping through your mouth accompanying his name every time you felt the velvety touch of his tongue right on your clit, and you covered your mouth with your own hand, even though - at that moment - you weren’t caring that much about who could hear you. He continues to lick and suck your slit in an addictive way, making your body respond to his every single touch.
“You’re perfect.” He mumbled before slipping one finger inside you, making your back arch almost completely and your lips part as a strangled noise that sounded like his name left them. “Look at me.” Mingyu commanded, holding your hips down with one of his hands in a grip that you were pretty sure would leave marks, and sliding another finger inside of you. “I wanna see your eyes when you come.”
His fingers started moving inside you in a way you’ve never experienced before, and eventually hitting a spot that would make your legs weak. At the same time, his tongue was making calculated circular movements on your most sensitive part, and then licking it up and down, causing the knot on your stomach to grow. 
“Oh, shit.” His slender eyes were pierced in yours as his tongue sweep skilfully on your bud with broad strokes, and you could see him opening sassy smiles everytime he saw you struggling to keep your eyes on his and to keep the moans to yourself. “Oh fuck, please don’t stop that.” The way he angled his tongue and started swirling it on your bud was igniting tremors all over your body. “Fuck. Gyu, please…” 
Mingyu then buried his mouth deeper, sucking the area and twirling his tongue in a controlled, yet skillful way. The hand that was inside you left your cunt, but you were so numb that you only noticed when you felt the pleasuring pain of a small pinch on your right boob, followed by a massage that almost made you scream in pleasure. 
With a last stroll of his tongue you felt it. Your body spasmed as his mouth was still buried in you, and you felt the trembling worsening as your head spun. You saw everything blurring in front of you as your back arched and your eyes rolled back with the sheer pleasure you were feeling, but feeling Mingyu sucking and licking every bit of your glistering arousal made you almost dissolve into pleasure. 
“I never thought I’d see you beg…” He teased you, but you had no strength to fight back, especially when you saw his rosy cheeks, the messy hair and the proud smile on his face. I am fucked. You just wrapped his neck with your arms, pulling him closer and kissing him passionately, knowing damn well that inebriating yourself with Kim Mingyu was the best thing you’ve ever done in your life. That movement, however, made another unintentional contact between your intimacies, and you realized how fucking hard he was.
“I guess now’s my turn right?” You sneered, taking him by surprise and - because of that - being able to switch your places and sitting right on top of his erection. His shorts were already untied, and you just pulled them down along with his underwear, having Mingyu to help you out when they came to his heels. Before you could realize, Mingyu’s hands were on your waist, and he pulled you carefully to the position you were in previously, not letting you even touch his cock. 
“Wrong. Today’s about me and all the shit I’ve been wanting to do to you since the day you woke me up…” He held you inside his arms and pulled your torso closer to him, consequentially making your cunt slide on his erection and a synchronized moan leave your mouths at the same time. You both giggled, and he held your face, pulling it close enough for him to kiss you gently. 
Suddenly a small problem struck you. “Do you… have a condom?” You asked, biting your lower lip but not making any effort to change your position. Mingyu nodded, pointing to the shorts you had just taken off and blinking once at you. 
“Oh, you were expecting this, then…” You teased him, grabbing his shorts and picking the pockets until you found the single condom, but had no time to even go back to his side before feeling his arms wrapping around your waist and positioning you back onto his lap. 
“I could tell you what I was expecting, or…” He glued his lips to your neck, sucking it in a not so gentle way while he moved softly beneath you, which made the condom fidget in your hands and fall onto his lap while you tried to suppress a loud moan you felt forming on your throat. “I could just show you.” The slutty smile that showed up on his face made you sure you never wanted someone so bad before and, thankfully, a smile appeared on your face when the realization hit you: you were about to have him.
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chapter sixteen - a true friend
A shy knock on your door woke you up, and you found yourself wrapped around Mingyu’s arms, who was still sleeping unfazed. The person behind the door knocked again, and you finally convinced yourself it wasn’t a dream, it actually happened.
“Are you sleeping?” Seungkwan’s voice was timid, but recognizing it made you almost jump out of bed, waking Mingyu up in the process. He opened his mouth, probably to ask what happened, but you were quicker into covering it with your left hand. Another knock on the door and it started to seem like a clock was ticking in your head, showing you that you were running out of time. You looked around your room, finding only Mingyu’s shorts and your shirt, but you honestly didn’t think it through before putting them on, shoving Mingyu into the bathroom and running towards the door. 
“I’m awake.” Your eyes were only half open, and your voice sounded way raspier than you imagined it would be at that time. You cleared your throat, glancing at Seungkwan and watching him frowning, and immediately tossed another word in: “What’s up?”
“Were you sleeping?” He seemed to only then have realized what time it was - 5:15 a.m., you checked on your phone before opening the door - and now he seemed a bit flustered to have woken you up, but you simply shook your head from one side to the other, giving two little spanks on your face and smiling at him. 
“Yup, but I’m awake now. What happened?” Your room was silent, Mingyu made absolutely no sound in the meantime and you were fighting your urge to look inside and see if he was still there, but you couldn’t because Seungkwan was right in front of you, looking a bit lost and very confused. 
“Oh… Nothing. I just… I just thought about coming here.” He murmured unconvincingly, and you tilted your head to the side, closing the door behind you so that Mingyu wouldn’t dare to listen to whatever he had to say. You were a loyal bitch, and if Seungkwan reached you he didn’t want anyone else to know what it was about. 
“Do you want to talk?” You ran your fingers through his messy hair, trying to pull it together somehow, and waited for him to answer. It took him a while, he was actually thinking about his response. Seungkwan wasn’t great at sharing his problems. Showing affection? He was ok with that. Showing when you had pissed him off? Damn, he was the best. Actually asking for help? Oh, no, no. Seungkwanie would rather die than ask anybody’s help before things got too out of control.
“No.” He declared, both to you and him at the same time. You nodded, biting your lip and trying to think of a way to help. Raena was the best at squeezing the truth out of Seungkwan, and probably that was the reason he came to you and not to her: he wasn’t ready to talk yet. 
“But you do have something to talk about, right?” Your question was quickly answered with a significant nod from the blond man standing in front of you. “Do you wanna go to the pier and sit in silence until you start crying and then pretend nothing happened?” You suggested and he looked at you, livid. 
“Fuck you. No.” His long face didn’t last long, and as soon as your giggle was heard he followed you, already feeling better about his deadlock. “Can we… do a small under-the-table schedule tomorrow night? The… Hm… A-Access Holly(boo)d?” You cackled, covering your mouth and hoping that no one had been woken by it. 
“Honestly, your mind is fucking amazing. Did you just come up with that?” He nodded and you placed your hand on top of your heart: “Respect.” Your words made Seungkwan smile once again, and you felt like you made something right - fucking finally. “I’m obviously in. It’s your birthday today, if you asked me to hide a body I would say ‘Kwanie what the fuck…’ but would end up doing it anyways.” 
“You are ridiculous.” He said, feeling glad about coming to talk to you. You bowed twice, rejoicing on Seungkwan’s mood change thanks to you. This is what you should have been for him in the past three years, and what you weren’t because of your stupid ass job. You were glad it wasn’t too late. 
“Should I call Rae?” You asked him and he looked you up and down, raising his hands and making such vague gestures that you couldn’t even understand what he meant by them. The confused look on your face made him roll his eyes. 
“Of fucking course. Us, emotionally constipated bitches, can never solve this shit on our own. We need our emotional cancer support.” He uttered like it was obvious and you just nodded, once again holding a small giggle that would often come out when you were hanging with Seungkwan in any given situation. 
“How about Vernon?” His gaze shifted and he simply denied, waving his head from one side to the other while looking at nowhere in particular. “Oh, ok. I see ya. I got it. I can see right through you, Boo Seungkwanie.” 
“I can also see right through you. How’s Mingyu?” His eyes were piercing and, had you not been a lawyer for the past three years - and therefore an excellent liar -, you probably would have been shaking until now from how spot on he was on his damn guess. 
“I don’t know. You should knock on his door and ask… You’re gonna have to knock five times, though.” He looked you up and down again, staying a little longer on the shorts you were wearing than you would like, but suddenly shrugged, waving his hands dismissively. “I’ll sleep a bit now. Sorry for waking you up.” He said, turning on his heels and heading to the exit of that building.
 After his blond hair disappeared into the corridor, you finally let out a huge sight, getting inside your room and seeing no trace of Mingyu. You opened the bathroom door, and found him sleeping while sitting on the ground with his head resting on the sink. He was holding your shorts and his shirt tightly and his mouth was a bit open. The man was fucking adorable. 
“Gyu…” You said softly and he opened his eyes, smiling faintly at you and then brushing his face with his hands in order to wake up, dropping the clothes he was hanging onto. He got up, stretching his back and following you out of the bathroom as you guided him by holding his hand. 
“What was this about?” He asked in a very raspy voice and with only one eye opened. “Why did I have to go to the bathroom? Are we… hiding this?” A small pout formed on his face and you just stood on your tiptoes, leaving a peck there and seeing his sharp teeth show up after you did so. 
“I think it’s the best thing to do for now…” You confessed and he pouted again, pulling you closer into a hug and leaving kisses in your head. When you lifted your gaze, he placed a kiss on your forehead, and started going down leaving kisses all over your face until he reached your lips. 
“I don’t want to.” He said it like a child and you giggled a bit, flicking his forehead and watching him sulk over it. “Why should we?” 
“We don’t know what this is yet…” You started explaining, and saw him paying close attention to every word that was coming out of your mouth. “... Maybe not making a big deal out of it will cause us to avoid a lot of trouble… Besides, do you know your fucking friends? For instance, Rugel won’t leave us alone with the lame jokes about sex.” 
“Well… I did get the condom from him, so I’m guessing I’ll already be suffering those consequences…” He confessed and both of your hands went straight to your face, covering it completely while you tilted it back. Mingyu took your wrists, wrapping them around his own waist and, by that, pulling you closer.
“Don’t drag me into it, Gyu, please!” You begged him and he giggled a bit, nodding in agreement as soon as he did it. “Not to mention the fact that I might’ve said a couple times I wouldn’t hook up with you and I have a bit of pride inside myself…” You said it like it was nothing, but it made him drop his arms that were still holding you and look at you with another pout on his lips.
“Ouch? That actually hurt a bit?” He said. His eyes narrowed and a line appeared between his brows. You were quick to pull him closer, placing a small kiss on his collarbone and watching him shiver just by that small gesture.
“You also said that… Mr. ‘You’re Not My Type You Ugly Bitch’.” And once again there he was: Kim Mingyu visibly distressed by the tiniest thing you’ve said to tease him. It should not be this fun, but fuck… it was. You felt a small mocking smile show up but you tried your best to keep it to yourself, as he opened his mouth almost insulted.
“ONE TIME. I said it one time. And I never said you were ugly, I always thought you were fucking hot… You just happened to be way more than that… And I’m not someone who only sees people by their looks” He blurted the first words out, but then you started to leave small kisses on his chest as he went jabbering the following words, each one being more slurred than the others and his eyes closing because of the soft touch of your lips.
“Ass or Boobs?” You asked him jokingly and he giggled, forcing himself into seriousness once again to answer blatantly: “Personality.” You both bursted into laughter, as you buried your head on his chest while you did so. 
“Seriously, though. When you walk through that door this…” You pointed at you and then to him. “... never happened. Deal?” He looked at you for a bit, and once again he was thinking that you must have been a great lawyer because there was absolutely no fucking thing you would ask of him that he could’ve possibly think about denying. His eyes rolled before uttering the forsaken word, but you were determined enough on that idea and Mingyu was too tired to fight over his wishes.
“Deal.”
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chapter seventeen - hopeless
“Are you sure that this pancake isn’t burning?” Seokmin had woken up a bit earlier than he usually did, and so thirsty that it became almost impossible for him to go back to sleep, so he decided to take the opportunity and see if anybody was already up. He found Mingyu in the kitchen by himself, looking to the most absolute nothing and missing all the indications that the batter on the pan in front of him was about to taste like coal if he didn’t take it out of the fire at that exact second. 
Mingyu looked confused at Seokmin, only noticing his presence after his friend spoke, taking a few seconds to make sense of what was just spoken, rushing to turn the batter and hoping that the pancake wasn’t completely lost. Seokmin bursted into laughter, murmuring a “classic Mingyu” about the fact that he did all the moves in a very clumsy manner, but knowing that messing up cooking wasn’t anything like his friend. 
“What’s up? What were you thinking about?” DK asked the tallest, sitting on the counter and nibbling on one of the pancakes that were already done on a plate to see if they were any good. Mingyu was thinking about you, but he couldn’t say that because he fucking promised that he’d forget what happened inside your room after leaving it As if it was possible. Nonetheless, the only thing that was going through his mind was you and this weird feeling that kept emerging every time he’d see you, or think of you.
“Nothing…” There was absolutely no credibility in Mingyu's words and Seokmin knew him well enough to know that. He squinted, looking his friend up and down, and after he shoved the recently approved pancake inside his mouth, eating the rest of it in only one bite, he came down off the counter, pushing Mingyu’s shoulder carefully, and making sure his friend knew he wasn’t buying any of his excuses. 
“Come on… You can tell me. I’m great at keeping secrets…” His smile made his eyes almost vanish, but a pout soon took its place, caused by Mingyu’s expression that Seokmin could read pretty well: are you shitting me? “Fine. I’m terrible at keeping my own secrets, but when it’s somebody else's I’m pretty good. You wouldn’t know because you never fucking tell me anything.” He nagged and Mingyu turned off the stove, just then noticing that one of the pancakes was gone. 
“Do you want some pancakes as well?” He asked and Seokmin smiled again, nodding and making his way to the coffee machine, making sure to prepare enough for him, Mingyu, and someone else who could eventually show up. They both finished making their breakfast and there was no sign of anyone else whatsoever, so Seokmin decided to push Mingyu a little bit more. 
“Why don’t you tell me just… superficially? For me to get the gist of it without you giving me any details?” He proposed, and Mingyu seemed to be actually considering that possibility, as a small frown started to appear due to the taste of the slightly burnt pancake he decided to eat anyway. 
What could he say? That he couldn’t stop thinking about you any second of the day? That now that he’d finally tasted your kiss he didn’t want to have anyone else’s? That he had left your room at five a.m. and was since then thinking about knocking back, but was afraid to wake you up? That he was dying to scream out to every single soul in that place that he had finally kissed you, but he couldn’t?
“I think I… kinda like someone.” He just said instead, and Seokmin nodded, once again eating the pancake in one bite and drinking a bit of coffee while Mingyu waited patiently for any response he could’ve had. 
“The best phrasing would be I think I’m hopelessly in love with someone, but ok, go on…” Seokmin mimicked Mingyu’s tone, including a small lisp that he kept insisting Mingyu had, even though the tallest one knew he didn’t - his mind just worked a bit faster than his mouth and words would come out a bit slurred. 
“Wait, what?” Mingyu finally assessed Seokmin’s words. He wasn’t in love, it was just a crush. Besides, how the fuck did he know who he was talking about? The shortest one giggled watching Mingyu enter his deep analysis state once again, eating while he processed the information. When his friend’s gaze pierced on Seokmin’s, he just shrugged. 
“It’s kind of obvious. Have you seen the way you fucking look at her? The way you were holding her in the pool? The way your eyes were sparkling watching her rap to ‘Lose Yourself’ by Eminem on Karaoke Night?” Mingyu’s jaw dropped at Seokmin’s words, and he fumed his friend, asking something he was hoping to have an opportunity to ask a while ago. 
“Why the fuck did you tell her I flirt with everybody then, jackass? And why on earth you sat in that damn pool if you noticed?!” Mingyu’s voice was getting louder by the minute, but he was trying his best to be heard only by the ass he had for a friend. 
“Because it’s true that you flirt as a means of communication, how would I know that it was for real this time? Just because of your googly eyes and loud sighs? I’m not psychic… And the second one was because I didn’t want to be alone.” He pouted and Mingyu took the rest of the pancakes that were on Seokmin’s plate, shoving them all into his own mouth and concluding that he wasn’t deserving of his culinary skills. “Dude?” 
“You don’t deserve eating my pancakes.” Mingyu explained with his mouth still full, but Seokmin simply took a few pancakes from his friend’s plate and did the same Mingyu just had. “And I do not flirt as a means of communication.”
“Tell that to halmoni, Kim Mingyu. She’ll be heartbroken, though.” Mingyu’s hand went straight to Seokmin’s arm, hitting it while he stuck his tongue out, and returning that affectionate gesture was the least he could do, so Seokmin rejoiced with the sound of his palm hitting just the right spot on Mingyu’s arm. 
“What are you guys talking about?” Rae’s voice was so husky that, for a split second, Seokmin thought that the person entering the kitchen was actually Wonwoo. She looked like she hadn’t drunk at all the previous day: there were no undereye bags, her curls were glowing and her skin seemed the best they’ve seen so far. There was, however, an odd expression on her face, almost like she was using every single strength in her body to cope with the sunlight. 
“Heart problems.”
“Seokmin’s halmoni.” The two of them answered at the same time, and Rae looked a bit confused at first, while Mingyu pinched his friend’s legs under the table and hoped he would shut his big ass mouth for once. 
“Is she ok?” Raena seemed truly concerned, and Mingyu just got up, proposing to make her some breakfast while he left the small mess for Seokmin to fix. The latter nodded, smiling brightly to the girl who had just sat down in front of him. 
“Yes. Yes… We were saying that she’s very healthy and hadn’t had any heart problems.” He lied, but Rae was in no condition to make judgments about the veracity of said words, and since she couldn’t even think of a reason why Seokmin would lie, she just nodded, agreeing with him and closing her eyes to avoid any clarity to reach her for a while. 
Seokmin kept jabbering about some things that happened the previous night while Raena ate the pancakes Mingyu had prepared for her. He was still in the kitchen waiting to see if anyone else would come in and ask for pancakes, looking avidly to the door while biting his cuticles off. 
“Everyone’s passed out. I checked…” Rae mentioned putting the last piece of her breakfast in her mouth, and Mingyu turned his gaze to her, raising both of his eyebrows and watching her drink a bit of juice and dry her mouth with a no longer white napkin. “You kept looking at the door, I don’t think no one’s coming any time soon.”
Defying her recently spoken words, you suddenly appeared in the kitchen, raising one of your hands in a small greeting. Mingyu’s face lit up as soon as you appeared, and a silly smile showed up in his mouth, which was soon reciprocated by you. Seokmin got up almost instantly.
“Oh, guess you were wrong, Rae. Wanna check if there’s anyone else awake?” He asked, blinking to Mingyu and almost forcing Raena to get up and follow him. She seemed a bit lost by the suddenness, but she followed him willingly, leaving you and Mingyu alone in the kitchen in no time. 
“Want some pancakes?” He asked, getting up from the chair, and you nodded, thanking him in such a low voice that you feared he hadn’t listened to you. While he was concentrating on preparing the batter, you took a look outside the kitchen, finding no one around.
Mingyu felt your hands softly wrapping around his waist and a small kiss being placed on the highest point of his back that you could reach without him bending over, and he looked back, seeing your small eyes and the big smile you were flashing his way. He took your arms, leaving the batter behind and turning one eighty degrees to face you. His lips were quick to find yours and you just kept looking at him when he pulled his face away. 
“How am I supposed to hide anything when you do this kind of thing to me?” He asked, and you giggled, standing on your tiptoes to reach his face, leaving small kisses all over it until you found his lips. 
“There’s no one around.” You had a childish smile on your face and Mingyu felt his heart bursting with the way your nose scrunched while looking at him that way. “The best phrasing would be I think I’m hopelessly in love with someone, but ok, go on…” Seokmin’s voice reached Mingyu unconsciously, and the more he looked at you, the more they seemed to make sense. In love? He wasn’t sure yet, but hopeless? He definitely was, and it was all because of you.
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chapter eighteen - look around
The absence of the white cloud blanket on the night sky indicated to you that it would be a cold night, and you cursed yourself for not buying anything that would cover you up for that. Your secret meeting with Rae and Seungkwan to talk over anything that was bothering Kwanie was supposed to happen a few minutes later, but there you were, on the balcony of your room, thinking that near the water would probably be colder than there, and you were already pretty cold. 
“Oh, what a coincidence.” Mingyu’s voice startled you. For a clumsy man, his steps were way too silent. He was standing next to the edge of his balcony that was closest to yours, wearing very familiar jeans, a black beanie and a cardigan that you were pretty sure that should be worn with something underneath - which he decided was not necessary. “We met here again the same day I happened to have two bottles of Bacardi and was thinking about drawing something beautiful… Wanna be it?”
You giggled with all the cheesiness, but Mingyu seemed proud of his previous words, bearing a bright grin that made his nose scrunch a bit and his eyes sparkle. You once again jumped to his balcony, making the man almost drop the bottles he was holding behind his back to try and catch you. You were a bit faster than he expected, and landed gracefully beside him. 
“I can’t. I have a thing to do today…” Your words made him pout, but your icy touch on his face made his mouth quirk up and his eyes went straight to yours. Mingyu placed the two bottles on the rail, letting his hands wander on your back and making a small shiver run through your body because of the coldness of his touch due to the freezing bottles he was holding just now. 
“Wow, that was a violent shiver. Are you cold?” He asked and you simply nodded, feeling him pulling you closer and starting to rub his arms around you, attempting to warm you with them and his presence. You rest your head on his chest, feeling his arms tightening around you, and wishing you could be there just for a little while. “Why are you wearing these clothes, then? Don’t you have anything warmer?” 
“The only long sleeved clothing I own here is the shirt I was wearing when I… you know…” Quit my job. Ruined my future. The dramatic words got lost in your mouth while you tried to explain to him, but Mingyu simply nodded, pulling a bit away to look you in the eye, but without letting you further away from him even the slightest.
“Ah, yes, when you held my hand for the first time… I can only imagine it is hanging in your room like a trophy…” The dry noise that the encounter of your hand with the uncovered part of his chest made was louder than you intended, but Mingyu’s loud giggle and the smirk he was displaying made you sure that it wasn’t because you put too much strength into it.
“Jackass.” You murmured, trying to get out of his hug, but he just stiffened his arms, making his grip on you stronger and pulling you close enough for him to be able to find your lips, leaving small pecks while you kept jokingly trying to escape. He is way too good at this for it to be legal, you kept thinking to yourself while Mingyu’s lips would wander through every inch of your face in a very soft and warm caress. “If you didn’t have such a handsome face I would’ve punched it already.” 
“If it is sensual and consensual… I’m ok with it, you know?” His words masked the redness that was spreading through his cheeks because of your compliment, but you couldn’t help but notice how red his ears had gotten and how adorable he looked with the youthful smile he showed everywhere lately. “Talking about sensual…” 
His arms left you, and - maybe because of the cold night, maybe because of some deep wish within you to keep being held by him forever - their absence was almost painful. You felt a pout forming in your own mouth, unintendedly, but it dropped when you saw him opening one button of his cardigan at a time, taking it off in no time and placing it over your shoulders. 
“Kim Mingyu!” You nagged, pushing him inside of his room and trying your best to avoid that he would get sick. His body was in flames when your cold hand touched it, and you finally looked down once again, inspecting his stiff torso and having vivid images of him on top of you popping in your head unconsciously. 
“What? You said you were cold…” He had a sheepish expression on his face and he could see exactly how your eyes were wandering through his body in a hypnotic way. The bottles of Bacardi were still on the rail of the balcony, but drinking didn’t seem that interesting now that you were in front of him. “I was just helping you out.”
“I am not one of god’s strongest soldiers, Kim Mingyu, you cannot take your shirt like that and hope that I will simply move on with my life, seriously.” You finally came back to your senses, watching him beaming at your comment and slowly caressing your hair while he kept getting closer and closer. “But thank you, do you have anything else to wear? Can’t let you get a cold… You’re already a big baby when healthy, I can’t even imagine how impossible you must be when sick.” 
“Should I also take off my pants and show you how impossible I can be?” His eyes were piercing through yours and you bit your lower lip, gathering all of the strength you had on your body to swing your head from one side to the other. 
“I can’t, Gyu. I told you I have something to do…” You checked your watch, seeing that you were officially late for the secret rendez-vous. Slowly a tint of regret from jumping to Mingyu’s balcony and making it harder for you to want to leave him and go meet your friends emerged. Nonetheless, Seungkwan needed you, so you didn’t have a choice, you should get going before it was too late.
“What’s that? Schedule is free tonight, I checked…” He asked, walking towards his suitcase and pulling a long sleeved shirt from it, and - thankfully for your mental health and self control - covering his fine ass body with it. 
“It’s a secret…” When Mingyu looked at you after you uttered those words, he saw a completely new expression on your face. The smile was almost childish, like you were a kid who was about to do something bad, but somehow wanted someone to know. Mingyu raised his brows and you bit your lower lip once again while the smile kept staggered on your face. “... Like a Confession Session for the besties who hadn’t talked in ages because one of us has been too busy to be a human being.” You explained and Mingyu nodded: you, Rae and Seungkwan would gather and tell each other about your lives, he got that. 
“Are you gonna talk about me?” His voice was deep and he held your hand softly, intertwining your fingers and grazing his thumb very gently up and down. Your heart fumbled with that small act, and you could feel it beating stupidly loud, almost making you embarrassed. This is ridiculous, this feeling. Your head said that constantly, but your heart was beating so loud that those intrusive thoughts couldn’t barely be heard, and you would simply enjoy these little things, fearing that soon they would go away. 
“What would I say? We decided on keeping it a secret, remember?” You smiled and Mingyu frowned, sticking his lower lip out, scrunching his nose and puckering his eyebrows. He tried letting go of your hand, but you held it still. Even though Mingyu made it pretty obvious that he would rather just tell everybody, you still didn’t know what the two of you had. What would you even say? Hi guys, Mingyu and I had nasty sex two nights ago and now we hold hands and kiss eventually? That simply didn’t make sense. Besides, what if this was only because of the environment? What if you came back home and Mingyu realized that you weren’t his type afterall? How embarrassing would it be for you to retell everyone that the nasty sex was just a mistake? No, no. That wouldn’t do. 
Oddly, Mingyu understood exactly what was going on in your head the moment he laid eyes on you. It felt weird, being able to read you so well after just a few days felt at the same time weird and as if it was meant to be. For now, he knew that it was a lost battle, so he decided to do what he knew would please you: diverge the subject and let this conversation for later. You already had much in your head anyways. 
“That I’m super cute and a good kisser…” He answered finally, stealing a kiss before pulling away with a toothless smile. You felt glad he didn’t insist on the matter, smiling back at him and raising both eyebrows in response. 
“Can I change that to ‘Gyu’s super cute, smart and handsome’ and leave the good kisser part aside? I don’t think Raena would believe me if I said I kissed you, she would call me a sore loser and a liar.” You proposed and Mingyu bursted into laughter, nodding while he patted your head in a very caring manner. 
“Deal.” Once again he was blushing. He fucking loved being complimented, you could tell that by his very obvious reactions to every single good thing you’ve said about him so far, and he also liked when you called him either by his nickname or full name. He was very transparent and expressive, even when he tried not to be. 
“Ok. I must go now. I’m already late, if I take more time they’ll start searching my body in the water and be certain that I’m dead by now… I am never ever late.” Mingyu nodded, opening the door for you and, after seeing if there was anybody on the corridor, you slid your body out of his room, rapidly striding to the pier. 
Seungkwan was sitting with his back completely straight on one of the sun loungers looking nowhere in particular, and Rae was staring deeply at him, probably waiting for him to say something - the scene wasn’t even close to unusual -, sitting in the lounger next to his. You cleared your throat to avoid scaring anyone, and sat right next to Rae on her chair. 
“You’re late.” She remarked and you smiled half-heartedly, knowing damn well that she was right. Usually the late one was Seungkwan, because you would always push Raena out of the house — even when her make up wasn’t still completely done —, and make her finish getting ready on the way. “And Seungkwan hadn’t said anything other than…” She forced her voice to go deeper and tried her best to mimic your best friend in the next phrase: “I will only speak when the one who will agree with me arrives.” 
“Is this Mingyu’s cardigan?” Seungkwan finally looked at you, gushing the words instantly when he noticed the piece of clothing that definitely did not belong to you. You nodded and Rae made the slyest face you’ve ever seen her pull out, so you decided to explain — lie —  before things got out of control. 
“Yep. I’m late because I didn’t buy any long sleeved clothes, so I knocked on Mingyu’s door and asked for one. He took his time looking for this and I took my time lying about wanting to stroll along the pier by myself so that I wouldn’t rat you out.” 
Raena hated how good of a liar you were. She couldn’t tell if that was the truth or not. She had seen Mingyu sneaking into the kitchen and grabbing some bottles earlier, but she simply could not remember his outfit, and you seemed pretty confident in what you were saying, so she decided to believe it.
Seungkwan, on the other hand, knew it was bullshit. You never explain yourself this much when you have nothing to hide, and the tone of your voice always had slight changes when you were on what he liked to call “lawyer mode”. However, if you were lying it probably was because you weren’t ready to tell them whatever was going on, so he decided to do the thing he hated the most: pouring out his feelings. 
He didn’t hate attention, nor hated people knowing things about him. That was, of course, when it came to things he could control and slightly manipulate how he would be perceived. Those two jerks that were bickering while he processed the new information he just received were the only two people in the world to whom Seungkwan would confidently talk about the most reckless, enerving and uncontrollable things in his life: his personal feelings.  
“Ok, can we talk about Kwanie now, Raena? Geez, I’m only ten minutes late.” You begged, hoping that the damn woman in front of you would simply drop this one mistake you made. You never dropped anytime she got late before, so she wasn’t very willing to let this one go without at least a bit of nagging, but Seungkwan nodding made her forget about it and pay attention to him.
“Right… It’s one of those things…” He started saying, noticing that both of you were paying close attention. “... That I don’t like talking about.” Putting in words the things that were bothering him was way harder than he expected. Seungkwan kept trying to formulate words and nothing was coming out. “It’s better if you guys just ask.” 
The light echo of the small water movements made by the wind twirling in that shimmering nothingness was the only sound that could be perceived. It seemed like even your breaths had taken a break and were being held as the two of you started to think of what Seungkwan could possibly want you to ask. “I have nothing…” Rae finally broke the silence, unable to think of anything that could be bothering her friend.
“This is about… Vernon… right?” You asked carefully, afraid to trigger anything, and Rae’s jaw dropped when Seungkwan nodded affirmatively. You nodded back and Rae kept shifting her gaze from him to you nonstop, until you spoke again: “What? Weren’t you an empath? How did you not realize this, Raena?” The phrase made Seungkwan giggle a bit, and Rae puffed loudly, throwing her hair back with her hand and steaming at you. 
“I am an empath. I’m a cancer…” She confirmed, sticking her middle finger up and tucking the framing strands of hair behind her ears. “But I do confess that I have been so focused on Jessica that I haven’t paid much attention to my two babies.” 
“You didn’t make your move yet? For fucks sake, Raena.” Seungkwan scolded and she raised her index, swinging that long and slender finger from one side to the other in a slow pace, and starting to swing her head alongside. 
“No. No. No. No. No, Mr. Boo Seungkwan. This is not about me. This is about you. I see what your earthy sign ass is trying to do but I won’t let it happen. You can scold me about being a hopeless romantic and a panicked gay later.” She said, and as oddly as it sounds, Rae was making… sense. That was a new one. “So let’s go back a bit, shall we? Chwe Hansol… do you like him?” 
“Hard question. Rephrase it.” Seungkwan demanded, and Rae squinted. How the fuck could that be a hard question? You were thinking about questions to do yourself, but your mind was blank, only being replaced by eventual images of Kim Mingyu that would randomly pop out with no previous warnings. 
“Did he do anything to annoy you?” You finally asked, shaking the mental image of Kim Mingyu in his pair of jeans and with no clothes on that was coming back no matter how hard you tried to dismiss it. DAMN. THIS FUCKING MAN. Seungkwan nodded.
“Was it something he said?” Raena asked, and Seungkwan denied promptly, waving his head from one side to the other with his eyes shut. “So… It was something he did…” She concluded and Seungkwan nodded. “Ok. Now it’s with you, champ. Can’t dig any more than that without context.” 
Kwanie nodded again, looking around and preparing himself to vocalize the thing he had been trying to not think about for the past day. He had been ignoring Vernon ever since it happened, so scared to let that situation get out of control that he ended up making the situation get completely out of control. “Vernon k-ki… k-kissed me. And I kissed him back. On my birthday. But I don’t… I don’t know…” 
Your mouth dropped. You had been so focused on your own problems you missed all the cues Seungkwan had given you for the past week. The way he kept caressing Vernon’s cheeks, the way they were together all the time, the way he angrily said that friends to lovers was his least favorite trope and how Vernon walked right out of there, the way he was constantly asking you to do something just the three of you but you kept denying because of such silly problems that they weren’t even worth to mention… This man was dying to tell you about him, he was dying to ask for help, and just like for the past three years you forgot to look around you. 
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chapter nineteen - old scars
January 16th, 03:32
After dragging himself across the saloon to take the last red cup that was tossed on the ground, Rugel greeted the last two people left on the pier: Hansol and Seungkwan. The latter insisted that Vernon should just go to sleep, that he didn’t need to help Seungkwan out with all the cleaning - which could not be left for the following day because, of course, Kwanie had planned many fun activities for his birthday. Vernon, on the other hand, was set on helping the birthday boy out, collecting every piece of trash he could find and taking anything slightly heavy from Seungkwan’s hands before he could lift any sort of weight. It was his birthday, afterall. 
“I just have a few things to put away, Vernon, you can go to sleep now if you’d like.” Seungkwan’s words were a bit slurred and his cheeks were crimson, but to Vernon he seemed very sober while uttering them. He was trying to portray himself as sober, Vernon knew as far as that, and he simply waved his head from one side to the other, promptly denying Kwan’s demands and continuing to do what he was doing prior to that disturbance. 
After a brief silence, Vernon decided to speak up, feeling his friend’s eyes burning on the nape of his neck for not doing as he was told. “I want to help you out, ok? Have I ever done anything I didn’t want to?” It was Seungkwan’s turn to swing his head, a small pout formed on his lips and his eyes partially closed while he did so. 
“No… It’s just… You know…” He kept wandering nowhere in particular while he said the words, and his hands were gesturing vaguely, stretching his long fingers to whichever direction was closer. “I don’t want to bother you. I can do this alone. I’m sorry” He explained himself and Vernon picked up the chairs around the table he was in, placing them on top of the others before approaching Seungkwan again. 
“You don’t bother me. Ever. Remember when you called me two in the morning asking if I was up on the day before my field trip? You didn’t even bother me then. It woke me up to speak to you until it was 5am and I left for the trip with energy - which I almost never have by the way.” He confessed, just staring at the boy in front of him, who had already forgotten about the main reason he was there: put everything together before morning came. “I love just being by your side, and I told you already to stop apologizing, you did nothing wrong.” 
Seungkwan’s ears turned as red as his cheeks, and he could feel his whole body tingle from those words. He stopped a smile from emerging, afraid that anything he’d do would trigger Vernon the wrong way. He didn’t, however, have much control over his words, mostly because of his slightly drunk state. “You have to stop saying things like that. They make my heart flutter. I don’t like it.” 
“Well, I like it.” Vernon wasn’t much of a doer, he had always been a more observant kind of guy, the kind of person that felt dislocated from society and reality in some ways. Seungkwan made him doubt everything he knew about himself. There was this emerging explosion corrupting every bit of Vernon’s beliefs that he should just watch by, which made him give small steps towards the blond boy in front of him. Seungkwan kept retreating, but his eyes almost begged Vernon to keep chasing, so he never stopped, he always gave another step, hoping that soon enough Seungkwan would stop avoiding it. Avoiding them. 
“Why?” That was the first time Vernon found himself walking alone, with no step back from Seungkwan, just his confused gaze and a new willingness to listen to him. Vernon, who was always so ecstatic, saw a small crack on that door and just ran for it, afraid that Seungkwan would never let that opportunity arise again and close it for good.
“Because I like you. And I know you know I like you, so you can stop playing dumb everytime I do things like this.” He grabbed Seungkwan’s hands, feeling how cold they were. Seungkwan would blame the alcohol for this whenever he stopped enough to think about what he was doing, but he let Vernon hold his hand like he always did, and pulled him into a hug. “And you also know you like me too, that’s why you do things like this.” Inside his arms, Vernon said the things he had been keeping for so long. Seungkwan buried his face on Vernon’s neck, not caring if he would hear how loudly his heart was beating at that moment. Blame it on the Booze tomorrow. Say what you want today. 
Vernon’s hand went to Kwan’s chin, stroking gently that place, but Seungkwan’s conscience took over him, pulling one step away from the man next to him and saying what he’d been dreading all along: “What if it ruins our friendship?” Vernon sneered, and Seungkwan regretted his words, changing the subject almost immediately. “Talking about friendship, have you seen how close the ‘she’s my type now’ and the ‘i’m a prideful bitch and will pretend i’m not interested in him anymore’ duo are?” 
“Um-hum…” Vernon answered, making his way to another table, intending to collect the chairs from that side of the venue. Seungkwan started to get desperate by how dry Vernon’s words were. He was mad. He knew that for sure, but he couldn’t let that small rational part of him aside, even though his heart was aching with the sudden lack of contact he had caused by stepping away. 
“They’re cute, right? Last time I saw Mingyu looking at anything or anyone like that it was at that exposition from his favorite artist… What was his name again?” Vernon sighed, knowing that if he didn’t participate in Seungkwan’s desperate attempt of changing the subject, he wouldn’t shut up. That small window Seungkwan had open was slowly closing and there was almost nothing Hansol could do about it. Better late than never. He repeated to himself, uttering words that hopefully would take the conversation to where he was intending. 
“Yeah. I saw them dancing pretty closely today. I’m glad Raena meddled before they could kiss.” Vernon commented, seemingly over the previous conversation - at least on Seungkwan’s under the influence judgment - and hoping on his cue to change the subject. 
“Glad?! I almost went there to hit her. They like each other so fucking much, everyone can see it… I hope they get together soon. I hope that bitch that I call best friend gets over her attachment issues, because I really think this won’t be just a fling for Mingyu.” Seungkwan had already given up on cleaning, sitting on the nearest chair he could find and just staring while Vernon would finish what he was doing. 
“Yeah, glad. I could see them bonding a lot over the lake the other day, a kiss could jeopardize that in an instant… Maybe they should just keep it that way.” The way Vernon said the words was so innocent that Seungkwan didn’t realize the trap he was getting into. He opened his mouth wide, approaching Hansol enough to hit his arm once, pouting at his response and making Vernon raise both of his eyebrows, with a youthful grin forming on his lips. 
“Why worry about that now, if they could just live in the present? Their feelings are real right now, so why worry about the future and whether or not it will jeopardize anything?” Seungkwan bit his lower lip as soon as he heard himself. Fucking Hansol Vernon Chwe, he had set him up and Seungkwan fell for it like a duck. A victorious smile emerged on Vernon’s face as he held Seungkwan’s arm, preventing him from moving away again. 
“Do as I say, not as I do, right?” Vernon’s light brown eyes were glistening looking at Seungkwan’s, shifting from them to his mouth in such subtle movements Kwan wondered if it wasn’t just his imagination. “I like you, Seungkwan. A fucking lot. Right now.” 
“I like you too, Vernon. Right now.” It was everything that it took for Vernon to glue his lips on Seungkwan’s. 
(Present)
“Yeah, you fucking broke him, Raena.” Your voice made Seungkwan’s head come back to that place, leaving the memories from the night prior fade slowly. “Should we hit him or something? It’s been five minutes.” 
After Rae asked Seungkwan to tell them everything that happened, their friend entered an almost catatonic state, remembering vividly every bad decision and every wording he decided on using that led him to the moment that was making him so confused. 
“I don’t want to give details.” He finally spoke up, making you and Rae stop arguing about whatever nonsense you were at the time. “We kissed. You get the gist of it. Now just… fucking help me. What should I do?” The man before you was a wreck, and you actually wanted to help out that time. 
“Talk to him.” Both you and Raena said at the same time, which made them look at you deeply concerned. When it came to advice to the heart the only constant in your friendship was you and Rae disagreeing with how to proceed. Raena was a hopeless romantic, while you had had your share of disappointments to simply avoid getting in such a vulnerable position again. That was why it startled them hearing you utter the same words as your friend, and not something along the lines of “avoid him forever”. 
“What?” You asked them, turning your face into a frown from all the judgment you were receiving without them even listening to the rest of the advice. “Talk to him. Tell him your were fucking drunk and can’t remember shit. ‘Love, Rosie’ the shit out of him, tell him to not mention it ever again because you were so drunk you’re embarrassed. Make him never speak about it again. It never happened.”
Seungkwan sighed in relief. Yes. That was a good plan, you always had the fucking best plans ever to match with his already pretty much made mindset. Raena was the voice of emotion in that relationship, because both of you knew that being non confrontational and overly rational was not exactly the best thing to do all the time. “Good. Good. I like that.” Kwanie said smiling brightly, and Raena rampaged until she sat between the two of you. 
“NO!” She growled, shifting her gaze from your slightly embarrassed face and Seungkwan’s innocent one.  “God. You two!!” That was the angrier you’ve seen Rae so far, and maybe - just maybe - your solution came towards the wrong direction. Just maybe. You couldn’t be one hundred percent sure yet. “Seungkwan you are fucking in love with him, don’t just ‘Love, Rosie’ him. We watched that movie together… Remember how miserable Rosie was? Do you want to be miserable?” Raena knew damn well that anything she would propose something it needed to be a bit logical, otherwise the two emotionally constipated mother fuckers would just ignore whatever she was saying. 
“Relationships just mess things up, Rae. Eventually they leave and, one way or the other, you’ll end up miserable.” You counter argued. Raena was rooting for the ship that she and Jessica had been calling “Verkwan” since the S(eungk)wan Lake day. The way they looked at each other, the way they interacted… Everything made her believe that Vernon was, in fact, Seungkwan’s soulmate, and she wouldn’t let his emotional maturity of a five year old and your attachment to your old scars prevent her best friend from being happy.
“Not always. Not every relationship. Besides, getting hurt is a part of life. We grow out of it, you know?” She hissed, her curls were flying because of the cold wind that was blowing in your direction, but that didn’t make her piercing stare move an inch from yours and Seungkwan’s eyes. “So suck up your emotional baggage, learn from them and stop thinking that everyone will be like Michael and fucking leave you. Vernon and Seungkwan's relationship is not like that.”
“So mine was…” This wasn’t about you, you knew that, but it would be a lie to say that her words didn’t hurt you in some way. Seungkwan was quiet, observing the way that conversation was unraveling. 
Michael was your last serious boyfriend. After many people went in and out of your life, convincing you that nothing would ever stay, he made you think differently. He was kind, used to always say that you were the most beautiful person he’d ever encountered, he was warm and your parents liked him very much. You allowed yourself to talk about it for the first time: love. 
When he left one day without giving you much explanation you just accepted it as your fate: no one would actually stay after you called it love. At first you thought that the word was what scared them, but receiving his wedding invitation three months from that day made you realize that the problem wasn’t love itself, but you. Maybe you were just the one people should meet before finding love. Maybe love just wasn’t for you, and because of that you ran from it every time you could see it slowly approaching you to hurt you again. 
“No. I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant…” Rae realized she had just crossed a line you two hadn’t in a very long time. Bringing Michael up was a desperate attempt to convince Seungkwan and you, but he hadn’t been a topic in so long Rae almost forgot how hurt you got over it. Remembering how she would always find you in the middle of the night drinking a beer by yourself in the living room, and telling her that you were cursed, made her regret saying anything at all. 
“No. No. You’re right.” You spoke lifelessly, eyes lost somewhere in the lake and a faint sneer on your face. “I’m sorry, Kwanie. She’s right. I can’t help you out with this.” Seungkwan took your hand, but you smiled at him. “I was never actually happy with someone like that. Maybe this time you should just listen to Rae and I should just be quiet. You don’t want to end up scared of trying like me, right?” 
You got up. The silence was almost painful, but you kept a toothless smile on your face, pretending to be ok, hoping that you were ok. “I feel a bit tired now. I’ll just leave this to Rae, ok? I agree with her.” And with no response you left, letting the tears you’ve been keeping to yourself come out only when you were, as usual, alone. 
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chapter twenty - keep you close
Your friends knew you enough to know that following you around was not a good decision. Rae, who was very open about her feelings and these kinds of things, hated this part of you because she always felt powerless. It made sense even for her that, whenever you had a feeling, you couldn’t verbalize any of it, and also that you needed time to process and understand what to do with the feelings, but when it was her who hurted you she just hated that she couldn’t apologize until you’ve already made peace with it. 
Nonetheless, she didn’t follow you. She saw you standing and walking away from them, striding blindly through a path that had become usual to you: through that rock path, climbing a few stairs, to the corridor, into your room, and straight to your bed. 
Crying never lasted, because rationalizing things always took such a big part of your self-loathing time that the tears would just evaporate into fuel to your - maybe a bit biased - self harming thoughts. Bringing Michael up wasn’t the best thing Rae could do to your mental health, since you had thrown those feelings and the disappointment inside a drawer in your mind where you would never have to touch them again, but you could clearly see that it was necessary to convince Seungkwan. That’s why you didn’t take her words to heart.
This was about Seungkwan, not you. You knew that, so it shouldn’t hurt that much, but it did. It did because usually suppressing things wasn’t very healthy - even though it was the only way you knew how to cope with pretty much anything. Maybe being the perfect child made you unsure on how to show weakness, and that would backfire anytime you’d feel anything, which made you raise a wall between you and anyone who wasn’t scared of facing them like you were. Them being, of course, the deepest and darkest parts of you that made you not perfect.  
Your face was buried into your pillow, but you were just lying there, doing the thing you dreaded the most: thinking about your life. A few knocks on your door made you lift your head, feeling a bit dizzy because of the lack of oxygen the position you were in was providing you. You hoped that not answering it would make the person go away, whoever it was. The lack of response in those kinds of situations usually meant what you hoped they would understand: there’s no one inside. 
There was no one inside, indeed, at least no one worth talking to, no one worth anyone's time at that point. You avoided your feelings not only because you felt shame, but also because sometimes they could be so stupidly strong that you would wish to be a robot, just not to feel anything at all. Just to not feel as pathetic as you felt at that very moment. So overwhelmed as you felt. 
“Are you back?” Mingyu’s voice was soft and you could almost see the smile he was giving while he said them. That innocent smile that he would flash your way whenever you were saying something that interested him, the kind of smile that made you feel like you - and whatever it was that you had to say - mattered. You smiled back, eager to open the door and, for a second, be able to think about anything else but that sweet man that was standing in the corridor. 
The bitterness of realization hit you when you stood up, professing words inside your mind that you have said many times before, and that you knew from experience to be the most utter truth: “He is going to leave too. Don’t get used to it.” Your intrusive thoughts reminded you. Everybody leaves, and the more you let those feelings flourish inside your chest, the more things would hurt when he did. 
You opened the door anyway, driven by an instinct that you assumed to be curiosity, and watched his smile turn into a worried look when he faced your slightly puffed and clearly unpleased expression. Before saying anything and without a glimpse of anything that could look like a warning, Mingyu wrapped his arms around you, making no questions and not doing anything other than holding you tightly. 
Your face started to get wet, and you realized that the damn tears that you thought had already been gone long ago came back. In a way you only did when you were alone, you started sobbing. The tears would come down like rivers, with no permission, but instead of pushing you away, complaining about the way you were wetting his shirt or saying things about how you shouldn’t cry, Mingyu just let you do it, tightening his grip whenever the shivers from your body would get so violent you thought you could fall apart from them. 
His warm skin, the soft touch and the way he was holding you like you were the most precious thing he’d ever had inside his arms made everything you’ve been bottling up emerge in a powerful wave of despair. Being jobless. Not knowing who you were anymore. Being so unlovable that even your best friends thought the same about you. Even the smallest of things, like that one time you stubbed your toe and your toenail almost fell, started to bother you once again, making your body expel those negative feelings in the form of tears. Everything you decided to compartmentalize once in your life rushed back into the surface in the form of those stupid drops that wouldn’t stop running down your face. 
Mingyu’s started to softly rush his fingers through your back, being the most silent you’ve seen him be so far. When did your body feel like that was a safe space for you? A space safe enough to bring all your emotional baggage out while you were so powerless and pitiful inside his arms? You felt pathetic, but that feeling only made you cry more, and as soon as Mingyu heard a noise on the corridor, he softly pulled you inside your room, closing the door behind him so that no one would see you this fragile. He imagined you wouldn’t like it. He wasn’t even sure if what he was doing at that very moment was something that you were comfortable with, but there was nothing else he knew how to do.
“This is scary.” You confessed, still letting Mingyu’s arms revolve around you, and his hands went to your hair, stroking it softly as he realized you would slowly stop crying. Your voice was choked up, but your impulse was to speak everything that you would usually keep to yourself. “I think I really like you.” The words left your mouth unintendedly, and realizing how dull they seemed by the inaccuracy of them caused a shiver to run through your body.
Mingyu’s heart flipped over with the sudden confession. He wasn’t expecting to feel this fired up from those simple words, but they made small bursts of energy explode through his body, while his heart pumped loudly on his chest. He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing seemed to truly express how he felt towards you. Would it be okay to say them at that moment? His grip loosened and made you regret your words.
You took his unresponsiveness to the thing you were most used to: unrequited feelings. It only made sense to you that Mingyu wouldn’t feel the same. He didn’t have many options on that situation and you were very good at the game you both played, so it could be assumed that you won him over, but little did you know that it would make this silly feeling stagger on your chest for someone who wouldn’t even consider hooking up with you at first sight. 
While the man before you tried his best not to dance like a moron to express even the slightest all the bombarding of feelings he was experiencing, you buried your head on his neck, standing on your tiptoes to do so, and choosing carefully your next words so that they wouldn’t express so freely the deepest feelings of your heart like your previous ones did. 
You didn’t want Mingyu to leave, you knew this much about the situation. “Like” wasn’t enough to describe how he would make your heart fumble inside your chest, that was also an undeniable truth.
“We should end this now.” You declared, feeling his body stiffen as soon as you did. Mingyu felt like you had clipped his wings as soon as he started flying, and it made no sense at all. How could you say you liked him and, at the same time, say that you should end this?
“What? Why?” He finally spoke out, feeling like if he didn't he'd be silenced for the entire trip. Mingyu was never a big thinker when it came to making decisions, but this one particular decision you made in such a rush seemed like it could be a little more thought out, especially because he didn't like the outcome of it. “Do I have a say in it?”
His face broke some part of you. He had held you by your shoulders, furthering away just enough so that your eyes could meet, and when they did you felt like a monster. He wasn't pleased with your one sided decision, but there was no doubt in your mind about that being the best approach to your situation.
“You do, if you’re agreeing with me.” It was the best decision. You were sure of it. You could be selfish this time in order to keep Mingyu in your life, couldn't you? He fuzzed his brows, pouting a bit, clearly displeased with your answer, but before he could protest, you decided to take control of the situation. “It takes two to tango, Gyu, and I made up my mind.”
“We are not tangoing, we are kissing.” His lips were pursed out and it made his cheeks puff, making him look adorable. Mingyu glued his mouth to yours, kissing you in a desperate attempt to dissuade you, and you cherished that small act, obstinate that it would be the last time. 
“But I like you. I want us to be friends for a long time.” Oh. You liked him as a friend. Mingyu felt bitterness all over his mouth. He misunderstood you once again. He thought he knew you enough by then, but it seems like he didn't afterall. You didn't like him like he liked you, and as much as Mingyu wished it didn't, that realization made him deeply sad.
He looked at you. There was so much going through his mind that his impulse was to simply hold you and not let you go until you gave up on that crazy idea. No words seemed enough, no words seemed good enough. On the other hand, Mingyu didn't want to lose you, and learning that his feelings were unrequited made him fear that any other movement towards what he actually wanted could make you run away, so he did something he could never do in the past, something that he would only do because you were the one making the proposal he hated the most in his whole twenty five years of life: give in.
“Ok. Friends, then.”
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chapter twenty-one - good luck to us
“Either knock on my door or get the fuck out of here, you pacing from one side to the other is preventing me from resting, Kim Mingyu.” Seungkwan opened the door suddenly, startling the tallest a bit before he could even process what had happened. When the blond man’s words sank in, Mingyu looked him dead in the eye, knocking twice on the already opened door and making Seungkwan almost close it on his face. 
“It makes no sense, Seungkwan.” He said, walking inside of his friend’s room and ignoring the dirty look Seungkwan was giving him while he threw himself in his bed. The blond one closed his door, tossing his body on Mingyu’s side and waiting for him to explain whatever nonsense he was going on about. 
Seungkwan wasn’t in the mood to be anyone's support system, since he was also going through a small crisis at that very moment. He wasn’t, as well, in the mood to pester Mingyu until he said anything other than it makes no sense, so he soon came back to doing what he was doing before that overgrown puppy came in: thinking what he would do about Vernon and ignoring Mingyu’s presence in that space. 
He liked Vernon. A lot. He could never deny how crazy he was for that man, but the fear of taking the next step was consuming him in such a way that paralyzed him. Pretending that what he was doing was one hundred percent platonic and fraternal was his comfort zone, where he would allow himself to touch Vernon as he pleased with the excuse of them being very good friends, but since the kiss that was no longer possible. 
Losing Vernon didn’t seem to be an option either. He couldn’t afford that. He wouldn’t let that happen. Maybe Raena was, for the first time, right, and Seungkwan hated to admit it. Mingyu puffed beside him, but it was not enough for Kwan to bother asking him anything.  
“Seriously. I’m trying to understand it, but I can’t.” Mingyu tried once again, and it was Seungkwan’s turn to puff, raising his head and watching as Mingyu showed on his face that he was waiting for his friend to ask anything. Why didn’t he go to Seokmin or something? Christ.
“What? What can’t you understand?” He gave up, watching Mingyu lay on his belly and raise his feet like a fifteen year old about to gossip about their crush. He rested his head on his hands and his mouth turned into a pout while he whispered your name, so low that Seungkwan wondered if Mingyu really wanted him to listen to it or not. 
“It makes no sense. She was the one who wanted to kiss me first. She teased me. She said she liked me, so why does she say she just wants to be friends? That she wants to end it?” Mingyu started jabbering the words so fast that, had they not been friends for a long time, Seungkwan would’ve gotten lost amidst the phrase. He raised one eyebrow, and Mingyu pressed his lips against each other, realizing that he had done once more the only thing he shouldn’t - tell anyone about you and him. 
“End what?” Seungkwan asked amused, watching Mingyu almost fall out of bed trying unsuccessfully to evaporate from that bedroom and pretend he said nothing. Seungkwan’s smug face made everything worse, but ahem… he couldn’t take it back anyway, might as well just say what he had been storing in his chest and making it hurt like a bitch. 
“Our situationship.” He declared, watching carefully as Seungkwan's expression changed from teasing to curious. The blond man raised both of his eyebrows, hoping that Mingyu would continue it, and he didn’t need that much effort, as Mingyu didn’t wait for him to do anything else before continuing his monologue: “So we’ve kissed. And did other things. But she said ‘as soon as you walk through that door nothing happened’…” Mingyu tried mimicking your voice, which made Seungkwan giggle, but that didn’t make him stop. 
“... But she kept hugging me, and touching me in such a comforting way, and I don’t know, it makes me sick to not be able to hold her, it makes me physically in pain being in the room next to hers and not knock on her door and kiss her and just lay in bed with her and touch her soft soft hair. How can a person have such soft hair? She keeps saying it’s messy but to me it looks perfect all the time, it’s infuriating. And… and it makes no sense because she said she liked me. She acted like she liked me, then she said she liked me and that was the reason she wanted to stay just friends? Make. It. Make. Sense. Boo. Seungkwan.” He begged, and Seungkwan’s mouth dropped at the sudden confession.
Damn, Mingyu was not with a small crush on Kwan’s best friend like the latter had anticipated. No. No. He was in deep shit. He was as bad as Seungkwan was when it came to Vernon, and - for some strange reason - that made Seungkwan happy, because seeing Mingyu struggling with the exact same thing (or partially same thing) he was, and knowing what his advice would be, he knew for a fact what he wanted to do about Vernon. 
“She’s emotionally unavailable. Move on.” He said blatantly and Mingyu’s expression turned into the most heartbroken one he had ever seen. Seungkwan giggled loudly, slapping Mingyu softly on his arm. “I’m joking… But let me get this straight, she said with every single word that she liked you?” That wasn’t common for you. Admitting this kind of thing just indicated that, whatever Mingyu was feeling, maybe you were feeling it amplified. 
Mingyu nodded. “She said ‘this is scary’ and then something along the lines ‘i think i really like you’ and then dropped the friend bomb.” You were both so stupidly in love that it made Seungkwan sick that you were making this so hard for yourselves. Is that how people see me and Vernon? Kwanie thought to himself, imagining how pathetic he might’ve seemed for people who weren’t, as Raena would always put, emotionally constipated like you and him. 
“Ok. She really likes you. She has some… issues… with people not committing to her ever. If she said she liked you and then friendzoned you it means she likes you so much that she doesn’t want you to leave.” Seungkwan explained, and Mingyu felt life filling his chest, flourishing, felt the air turning cleaner, the day turning brighter, hope knocking on his door again. 
“I won’t leave. I don’t want to leave. Everytime I left her room I felt cold and…” 
“That was probably because you were naked, Kim Mingyu.” Seungkwan teased and Mingyu stuck his tongue out, unable to deny that very truthful phrase. “You should tell her that, not me. And like… make her believe it, don’t just say it. She’s… stubborn.” Kwan warned, seeing Mingyu starting to bite his cuticles like he would whenever he got slightly nervous. 
“How should I do that?” The older asked, watching his friend shrug and stand up from his bed, putting on his shoes and scattering his suitcase for a very specific shirt, one Vernon had gifted him on a random day, saying that he had remembered him with the shirt and - because of that - decided to buy him. That “random day” was also valentines day. 
“That’s up to you.” He answered. Seungkwan was determined: he wouldn’t let Vernon go because of his stupid fears, seeing Mingyu whine like a little boy made him sure he didn’t want Hansol to do the same, and that he also didn’t want to lose any more time. “I should go now.”
“Good look with Vernon, Kwanie.” Mingyu said, making Seungkwan stop midway and turn to him in complete shock. Have you said anything to Kim Mingyu? That little trai- “What? Jessica, Raena and I are the co-founders of Verkwan Shippers. I’m glad you’re jumping into this, Vernon really likes you, you know?” 
Seungkwan giggled once again. Of course you didn’t say shit, how crazy must’ve he had been to even consider this possibility. You were a loyal bitch. “Hope when you also take that jump you don’t fear the fall. Good luck to us, I guess?” Seungkwan asked, seeing a small fire lit up in Mingyu's eyes.
“Good luck to us.”
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chapter twenty-two - walls down
“I seriously didn’t mean it.” Rae said for the twentieth time, and you just rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses. There were only two days left of the trip, and soon you’d have to deal with your current situation - jobless, aimless, maybe a bit sunburned -, but you kept pretending like that wasn’t a thing. I’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it. 
It was, to say the least, draining to keep avoiding Mingyu for the past few days, since he seemed to be set on talking to you whenever you were alone. That made you make up such lame excuses that you even wondered if you were actually good at lying in the first place. There were, in fact, many things you suddenly got bad at. Suffocating your feelings -  which used to be pretty easy for you previously - was also hard, and your heart kept loudly reminding you how fond you were of Kim Mingyu anytime he would approach. 
The schedule of the day was the pool party, but since that day where you had informed Mingyu that you two should remain friends, you didn’t get much sleep at all, unable to keep your mind shut for a split second, so you acquired the routine of waking up before everybody, walking a bit around the property and then waiting by the pool until anyone would actually wake up and keep you company. That guaranteed that you and whoever was your scapegoat for the day could keep your distance from Mingyu and his sweet eyes. 
Raena found you laying on a sun lounger, solving a crossword puzzle she had no idea where you found, and started apologizing like she had many times before. It had also been two days since the two of you had been completely alone like that. You, on the other hand, were already over it. Or, at least, over talking about it.
“Dude. Get over it. And pass me the sunscreen, I can feel my nose burning right now.” You asked, and she took the cream, tossing it your way and making clear that she was not pleased with your phrase, shoving her outraged expression in front of your eyes. 
“Don’t ‘dude’ me.” She nagged, making you giggle with the high pitched tone that she said the words in. Rae hated how fucking stubborn you could be, and she hated more the fact that she could never win in these kinds of situations. Ever since the last conversation you, her and Seungkwan had, you seemed to be avoiding every single person in that space. She wouldn’t see you during breakfast, you’d pass on the activities Seungkwan had planned using the excuse of being too sunburned to stay out, and would ignore any knocks on your door past seven p.m. “If you’re over it, why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you. Four letter word for wanting something so bad it hurts…” Rae puffed as you muffled “Ache!” while writing on the paper in front of you. You could be such a bitch sometimes, it was excruciating watching you avoid your feelings all the time. “Besides, you were right. I’m glad Kwanie took your advice this time, I saw him and Vernon being clingy yesterday, there was so much honey dripping from their eyes I almost puked. Oh! Gore!” You proceeded to write on the puzzle. 
“Fine. How have you been?” Rae gave up, and you finally took your eyes off of the small magazine-ish book on your hands, shrugging and smiling sheepishly at her. 
“You know… I’m a bit sunburned. See my red nose? I can’t touch it at all. How about you? Any news about Jessica?” Changing the subject to anything but you was your speciality, and even though Raena knew exactly what you were doing, she missed talking to you about anything at all, so she played her part for you not to shut her out again. 
“I am fucked. I can’t make a move for the life of me, everytime she approaches me I just… panic.” She confessed and you closed your crossword puzzle, finally interested in whatever she had to say. “You must drink today and work your ‘kiss her you fool’ magic that you always do when you are drunk enough, seriously.” She begged and you giggled. (B)ool Party: the one where we pretend to be on spring break and get smashed was the perfect situation for matchmaker drunk you to arise, so you agreed.
You missed talking to Rae so fucking much that you didn’t even notice other people’s presence until Seungkwan yelled at the two of you to go to the kitchen and eat before the party. It felt weird being in that crowded room after so long, and it was weirder to see Mingyu smiling at you so innocently, with his messy hair and sharp teeth, making you undone by the sheer sight of it. 
Smiling back at him was only necessary, but you didn’t expect his eyes to glimmer and his smile widen with this crumb of attention. You hated him. No. You hated how much you liked him, and how impossible it was to avoid these stupid feelings that would eventually push him away. Actually… you hated yourself. 
“Want me to cook you something?” Mingyu took your smile as a permission to approach, and you felt your insides crumbling with just the faint sweet smell that reached your nose as soon as he got close enough. Your heart was beating like crazy and you felt pathetic. Your head moved from one side to the other, denying promptly. 
“I’ll just eat some cereal, thanks Kim Mingyu.” You tried smiling again, but you couldn’t even convince yourself that it was a genuine one. However, it didn’t disheartened Mingyu even a bit, who simply agreed, taking the cereal out of the highest shelf and two medium bowls, placing them side by side on the table. 
“Ok. Get the milk then, I’ll eat it with you.” His smile was so warm it melted something inside of you. We must stay friends, so that’s something I have to get used to... his smile. You reminded yourself, doing as he said and pouring the milk inside the two bowls. You two ate in silence, and you thanked him for the company as soon as you finished, getting up to clean your bowl and getting the fuck out of there with the excuse of getting ready for the pool party. Mingyu murmured something, but you were so desperate to leave that you just ignored it, alongside the bit of curiosity that would always rise whenever he said anything.
The party started in no time, and loud music started playing from somewhere you couldn’t exactly pinpoint. As you made your way to the pool, you found Vernon and Seungwan midway. Vernon was carefully cleaning something off of your best friend’s face with his right hand while his left hand was intertwined with Kwanie’s fingers. You made the best effort you could to not be perceived, trying to not to burst their bubble, and because of that you took the longest path to the pool. 
You felt glad Seungkwan decided on giving it a chance. Vernon loved him, and he also loved Vernon, just a quick glance could make you notice how fond they were of each other. Vernon’s eyes would light up anytime Seungkwan showed up, and Seungkwan couldn’t hide a silly smile that always rose up when their eyes met. They were fucking adorable. Disgusting. 
The worst part of it was that it made you believe for a split second that things could work out like that between you and Mingyu as well. You hoped they could. You wished they would. Seungkwan’s and Vernon’s relationship made you wonder if you couldn’t be wrong just this one time. You knew you desperately wanted to be wrong. But you probably weren’t, neither wrong nor ready to make yourself vulnerable again.
Almost everyone was already at the pool when you finally got there, and Raena shoved two shots of a green beverage into your mouth without even asking anything. The liquid burned in your throat and you felt almost an instantaneous buzz from it. It was strong alcohol, you knew that much.
“Wingperson me!” Raena said with a big smile on her face, and you nodded, taking a third shot from her hands and drinking it promptly. You took her hand and made your way to where the rest of the people were dancing, starting to move from one side to the other and, to the best of your no-glasses-abilities, started scanning the place looking for Raena. 
“What are you doing?” Seungkwan approached the two of you, and you smiled at him in a way that made him sure you were already a bit drunk. You wrapped your arms around his neck and Raena’s neck, pulling them closer to you and swinging from side to side in a clumsy manner. 
“I fucking love you guys so much. You…” - You shoved your index finger on Seungkwan’s squishy cheeks before proceeding - “..are already happy, so I must make Raena happy now.” You declared, and Seungkwan giggled. “I’m wingwomaning the shit out of Raessica.” 
“Are you happy, though?” Seungkwan asked, stressing the word you and glancing quickly at Mingyu, who was with his gaze glued on you since the moment you stepped foot on that place. You first nodded, but then your head started shifting from one side to the other, denying.
“No. I’m a mess.” You quickly confessed, afraid of how blunt you had been about that. “But… I will be slightly happier when Raena kisses that damn ginger. Fuck, what is that? A slowburn 500k words fanfiction? I’ll cupid the shit out of them!” You answered. The small amount of alcohol in your body allowed you to take a quick glance at Mingyu, and you regretted it as soon as his eyes lingered on yours. Seungkwan followed your gaze, sighing almost at the same time you did. 
“Did you talk to Mingyu today yet?” He whispered, and you looked confused at him. Raena was close enough to listen, but she made the decision to pretend she didn’t, since she had no idea what that was about. You smiled half-heartedly, trying your best to pretend that it was genuine. 
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? Oh gosh, look, there’s Jessica. C’mon my dear senpai, let me wingwoman you to your waifu.” Changing the subject was the best option, and getting Raena by the arm and ignoring Mingyu’s gaze was the best strategy you could find to avert Seungkwan’s questions and the stupid loud heartbeat coming from your chest. 
You approached Jessica dragging Rae with you. She was near the deepest part of the pool, chatting with Seungcheol, and you could see her eyes light up when you called out their attention to you and your best friend. Cheol moved swiftly to a place that made Jessica and Raena side by side, and you felt glad about how well he could read a room.
“Look who actually showed up.” Seungcheol teased you, receiving a middle finger in response, which made him giggle a bit. “If I was a little bit more soft hearted I would even say I kinda missed you, ya know?” He confessed, making you pout a bit and kiss his cheek in response. “But I’m not. So I didn’t.” He declared.
“Yeah, right…” You sneered, and Jessica giggled alongside Raena. That caught your attention to them again. You blinked at Cheol, and he grinned your way, knowing exactly what you were doing there. “Do you guys wanna play something?” You suggested, and Cheol promptly agreed, making Rae and Jessica nod their heads in synchrony. 
“How about this: We put a condition, and if it is met, we do a dare.” Cheol offered, and you looked at him confused. Alcohol made that sentence make absolutely no sense in your mind, and he rolled his eyes. “Like this: If you slap Seungkwan’s butt I’ll drink two shots at once.” He explained and you clapped excitedly. 
“Yes, yes, let’s do that. Is it on yet? I’m going to slap Kwanie’s butt.” You said, leaving them behind and doing exactly as you said you would, coming back with two shots, one in each hand, and making Seungcheol drink both one right after the other. You kept playing for a while, doing so many stupid things that mostly everyone joined the game, hoping to have as much fun as you seemed to be having. 
“Ok. My turn…” You said, looking around and noticing that no one had entered the pool yet. “Two birds with one stone, I’m hot as fuck”, you thought to yourself, smiling sheepishly at Raena and Jessica. “If you two…” Your index finger went from Rae to Jessica in a very drunk movement. “... Kiss, I’ll jump in the pool with my clothes on.” You declared, hearing a cheer behind you. Not because of your stupid dare, of course not, but because everyone was waiting for the damn day those two would finally make a move on each other. 
Rae’s cheeks turned pink, and it spreaded all the way to her ears. She turned to Jessica, ready to say that it was OK if she didn’t want to, but she was met with Jessica’s hands taking a small strand of hair off her face and gently placing her hand on her cheek before pulling in for a kiss. Seokmin’s loud scream was your cue to simply throw yourself on the pool, with your arms open and watching your friend grab Jessica’s waist on your way down. 
You felt a bit of a thermal shock when your hot skin was surrounded by the cold water, but there was barely not enough time for you to feel the water, as two strong arms grabbed you by your waist, pulling you up. That was how you found yourself inches away from Mingyu’s face, who had jumped in the pool to pick you. 
“Gyu, I was not drowning… I jumped.” You said, unintendedly dropping his nickname and feeling his grip tighten as soon as you did. He pulled you a bit closer, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You looked up, noticing that everybody was still cheering on Rae and Jessica, who were far from your field of vision by that time. 
“I know. But I wouldn’t have another possibility to hold you like this if I didn’t jump.” He confessed, locking his eyes on yours. He was serious, and there was no trace of a smile on his face, only a burning fire on his eyes that kept dragging you in anytime you tried looking away. 
“We agreed on…” You started blabbing, but he moved his head from one side to the other. His hands were gently stroking your skin in such a familiar touch that made your whole body shiver. You shamefully drew yourself closer, letting yourself feel his sweet scent and his naturally hot body. You would blame the alcohol for it, but the wall you had built to surround yourself was so thin that his simple breathing blew the thing off, making you want to throw caution out the window and just kiss him right there.
“No. You decided and told me to do as you said.” He declared, coming close to your ear to whisper the next phrase: “Thing is… I was never very good at obeying blindly.” He left a small kiss on your neck. You had no idea if anyone had seen it, and at that moment you didn’t even care. You wanted him. You felt that word popping on your chest again. Love. And it got worse when he gently stroked your face and said the next phrase: “I really like you too, you know?”
“Stop it. You’re making me wanna do something stupid…” You begged, unable to bear the loud beating of your heart and the knots on your stomach. 
“Just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean it’s wrong…” He said before finally closing the gap between you two, and you were sure the loud cheer you heard afterwards wasn’t because of Raena and Jessica. Feeling his lips made you forget about self preservation, at least for that time. You wanted to have him just one last time.
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chapter twenty-three - resolve
As soon as your eyes opened they met a sleeping Mingyu. Light was coming inside your room through a small crack on the curtain, making it easy to observe the sight right in front of you. His mouth was parted as he breathed slowly, his chest would lift until it would almost touch you, and suddenly retract again. His hair was a mess on the pillow, with few strands lost on his forehead and most of it pulled up, probably by his own hand while sleeping. His arm was resting on your waist. There was no pressure in it, as if he was just keeping it there in order to make sure you didn’t move, that you wouldn’t leave. That forsaken word flooded your heart once again: love. 
You sighed loudly, and that made Mingyu start munching air, and his arms reached out to you, wrapping around your body and pulling you closer, placing your head onto his chest and pressing his lips on the top of your head in such a subtle movement you truly believed it was just a sleepy reaction. 
Mingyu was so warm that you felt like you were melting into his arms, so you just closed your eyes shut, cherishing what you had promised yourself would be the last time you could touch him like that again. You ran your fingers through his bare skin, desperately trying to memorize his back with your fingertips, and took a deep breath, feeling his sweet scent inebriate your senses so that you could keep stroking his arms without guilt.
“Are you awake?” Mingyu’s voice was deeper and raspier than usual, indicating that he had just woken up, and you stopped moving your hands suddenly, hoping that he would believe that it was - like he had just done previously - an unconscious movement you did while sleeping. You remained static even though you wished to protest when he pulled a little bit away from you. 
When his hot breath reached your face you almost flinched, but were still able to hold it together. His proximity was very sudden, but you were resolute in pretending to be asleep and postpone the conversation you would need to have as soon as you weren’t anymore. That was, of course, until he glued his lips to yours, which made you open and widen your eyes, taken completely by surprise with that movement. You found him smirking at you, and as soon as you pouted he let a small giggled escape from his throat. 
“Yes. I’m awake.” You answered as if you hadn’t just pretended to be asleep five seconds ago. Your shameless response made Mingyu giggle loudly this time. He couldn’t help but to find every single thing you did adorable. With a silly smile on his face he closed his eyes, giving you another kiss while you were still stuck in his arms and being reciprocated by your fist hitting his arm and another pout on your face when he opened his eyes. “Kim Mingyu, we agreed…” 
“No, we didn’t. We’ve been through that before, you decided by yourself and hoped I would agree with the terms.” He nagged, sitting in the bed and glancing at you. His eyebrows were pinched and his lower lip started to stick out as he tried his best to hold the pout that was forming on his own mouth. “Thing is… I don’t agree. Can we talk about it before making any decisions? I’d like you to hear what I have to say.” Mingyu asked with a rather imposing tone in his voice, contrasting with the words that were coming out of his mouth. 
This wouldn’t work out. It never did. You knew it, you had been through that before. So what if he liked you? It would fade, it always did, and this time the fall would be too hard for you to take and to put yourself together again. You had no job to bury yourself into in order to forget, you had nowhere to put your energy. “Talking won’t change anything, Mingyu… This is just a crush, let’s…” You started mumbling, using your best lawyer voice to try and convince that man that you two should remain friends. 
“A… crush?” He was livid. How could you not understand that he was burning like a flame just by the sight of you? How could you not feel how much he wanted you and how physically in pain he’d get every single time you made him leave your room? The thing was he wasn’t going anywhere anymore. He wanted and he would stay as long as your stubborn ass would have him. Hopefully forever. “Listen, I won’t leave ok?” He snapped, running his fingers through his hair and throwing the strands behind. Why couldn’t you simply understand that he wouldn’t let you go? He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. Just thinking about it made his blood boil. “I…”
“No, Mingyu. You should leave.” You said emotionless. Your heart couldn’t take this anymore, any other word from that man and you’d abandon all of your self preservation and just throw yourself into this messy feeling. That couldn’t happen. “Leave my room now. And when you walk through that door we will forget everything that happened here. Like always. It’s my choice.” 
“You should tell her that, not me. And like… make her believe it, don’t just say it. She’s… stubborn.” Seungkwan’s words rang through Mingyu’s head. Stubborn was not even close to the resolution this woman in front of him had, but unlucky for you, he was just as stubborn when it was about something he really cared, when it was about something he truly loved. “Hope when you also take that jump you don’t fear the fall.” That memory made Mingyu smile, a small smirk showed up on his face and you shivered with the thought that maybe, just maybe, you were too harsh and now you ruined not only that… thing… the two of you had, but also the so wished friendship. 
“Ok.” Mingyu said bluntly, and you felt your breath vanish for a second. Fuck. This hurt more than you expected. Him giving up hurted much more than you could have anticipated. “As soon as I walk through that door I’ll just forget every single thing that happened here.” He said, pointing through your room’s door while getting up, and you took a deep breath, nodding your head so slowly that not even you were sure about your determination anymore. “Fine.” 
Your mouth dropped when you saw him walking towards your balcony as soon as the last word left his mouth. Tumbling from bed you followed him, too stunned to speak anything and, once more, unable to understand what on earth was going on through that beautiful head of his. 
“What… are you doing?!” You watched him tremble from head to toe as he approached the rail from your balcony, but he didn’t flinch, he just kept walking until his hands were testing out the firmness of that piece of wood. “Mingyu? What are you doing?” You asked again, but there was no response before he lifted himself up and stood on the rail. 
“AH SHIT.” He screamed, hands still shivering and head glued on the ground before him, where he was pretty sure he could fall and die at any given moment now. “You…” He started stuttering, his stupid fear of heights taking the best of him. “You said… that… when I… FUCK FUCK HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO THAT?” He looked down again, letting a squeak out before grasping the rail with both of his hands and stabilizing his body before continuing talking to you. “You said that when I leave through the door I have to forget everything, so I’m not fucking leaving through your stupid door. I FOUND A LOOPHOLE.” He screamed the word you had taught him you hated in one of your many conversations about law with a childish smile, and you simply didn’t know whether to laugh or curse him. Why the fuck was he going the extra mile for a stupid crush? 
“Ok… ok…” He said mostly to himself, standing up again, and you could see not only his hands, but also his knees shaking. “I can do this… I can do this…” Mingyu checked the height he was in and another loud squeak was verbalized before the words “I can’t do this.” He turned his gaze to you as he grabbed the rail one more time, looking you up and down. You were flabbergasted.
“Gyu, you don’t have to…”
“There’s no fucking way in hell I’ll let you leave me. I’m fucking jumping. Just… just wait a bit, ok? Give me a second.” His voice was squeaky and you took a deep breath in order to not simply cackle with the scene unraveling in front of you. Fuck that man and the way he could make you fall in love with him by being a fucking coward. “Ok. I’m going… I’m… I’m going. Now.” He squatted again, saying something to himself that you couldn’t hear, and then standing up again. 
“AAAAAAAAAAH… SHIT!” You almost couldn’t believe your eyes as you saw that six foot man throwing himself to his own porch, screaming so loudly that you were pretty sure that if someone was still sleeping before that, they weren’t now. You saw him touching every single bit of his body, making sure he landed in one piece, and panting while he did so. “I fucking did it. YA! I DID IT!” He smiled proudly at you, raising both of his arms and you smiled back. 
“Are you fucking stupid?” You asked giggling, and his smile dropped right away, as he approached the rail from his own balcony, trying to be as close as you as possible to say the words he was about to utter for the first time in his entire life. 
“No. I’m fucking in love with you, that’s what I am.” And just like that you were the one shaking, not him anymore. Love. He said it. He used that word. You stared blankly at him, and he took it as a permission to continue blabbing until you would give up on that stupid “just friends” idea. “A fucking crush? Are you out of your mind? I can’t stop thinking about you for any single second of the day. Yes, I am stupid. I was stupid when I said you’re not my type. You are totally my type. In fact, you are all that there is to my type, no one else fits it but you. I’m hopeless. I never felt this way before and it makes me feel dumb. I’m stupidly in love, yes. So stop being scared that I’ll leave you and please, for fuck’s sake, please, don’t you leave me as well, ok? I don’t think I can handle it.” 
Your breathing started to get uneven as his words started clouding your mind. It never occurred to you that the possibility of Mingyu being feeling the same things as you were real, and now that he had just blurted all those things you simply couldn’t process reality as it was. “W-what?” Was the only thing you were able to verbalize, and Mingyu rolled his eyes, and started to speak loudly, as if your difficulty in understanding was because you didn’t hear him properly, and not because of the amount of information he had just thrown your way. 
“I. Love. You. I wanna spend every single day of my life listening to you talk about snakes and explaining to me the difference between civil and common law. I want to wake up and get out of the room with you and make you breakfast, you can repay me with kisses, I don’t mind, I’m a better cook than you anyway. And I want to hold you in front of people, I want to fucking scream right now that I am completely, utterly and hopelessly in love with you. I want to fucking go back in the past and hit on you on the bar the first time we met so that we can have more time together. I want to hold you and never let you go. I want you so bad it’s driving me mad. And I know you want me too.” A silly tear ran down your chin, but you weren’t completely sure about why and how it got there. Mingyu was looking at you hopefully, and you couldn’t help but to smirk. 
“Wow, that’s… very presumptuous of you to assume.” You commented on his last declaration, and you saw his mouth drop in awe. In less than a second you pulled yourself up the rail: “Catch me.” You asked him, jumping directly to his arms. He grabbed you as tight as he could, preventing you from touching your feet on the ground, and you simply wrapped your legs around him. “You’re lucky that you are absolutely correct.” 
The bright smile that painted his face looked like the sunrise. Warm, but not blinding. Beautiful in every aspect. Something you could stare for as long as people would let you. “I fucking love you, Kim Mingyu. Loving you is the stupidest thing I’ve done this last month… and I quit my fucking job… But I don’t want to regret it anymore.”
“Yeah. Fuck, Mr. Ludovich.” He grinned, and you giggled. 
“Not that. My feelings. I don’t want to regret feeling like this anymore. Dumbass.” You stuck your tongue out, but he took the opportunity to give you a small peck on the lips. Your eyes got so small from the large smile that showed up on your face that you almost couldn’t see. “Sorry for… being stubborn, I guess?” 
“I’ll forgive you if you forgive me for telling everybody about our secret relationship later on dinner…” He raised his eyebrows and smirked like a delinquent, but you just kissed him and took your legs off of his waist, standing up without moving away from him. 
“What secret relationship? Neither of us walked through the door…”
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epilogue
Every eye of the table was turned your way as you raised your glass in a slightly drunk but very happy toast. Almost everyone was there. Seungkwan was not holding back his tears as you thanked him for all his support. Raena was squeezing Jessica’s hand so hard that, had you not been too happy, you’d scold her for it. Your old friends and your new friends were all there, cheering for you as you finally reached a point in life you dreamed about for so long. 
“... The last year was far from easy. The path I had chosen long ago finally opened itself to me, and I could never have the courage to pursue it if it wasn’t for each and every single one of you sitting in front of me right now. Apart from Minghao, of course, you judgemental bitch.” A loud cackle erupted on the table, as Minghao stood up and made a small courtesy bow. He was, in fact, one of the biggest reasons for you to stand there at that moment and he knew that. 
After getting into the Photography Major, Minghao, who was also in the same area, would often help you with works, give hints and critiques to your pictures and, overall, help you mold your style to the way it was currently. He single handedly chose almost every picture you had exposed that day on your first exposition, and was the reason why it was so successful. 
You finished your toast, and the whole bar cheered alongside your friends, probably too drunk to do anything but to scream when somebody else would do it, and before you knew Raena was approaching the table with a tray of shots and a smiley face. 
“Look at that handsome man getting into the bar, he looks like he’s your type.” Seungkwan said slyly, pointing with his head to the tall man with honey skin getting into the bar with a lost gaze and furrow eyebrows. You winked at your friend, getting up and walking straight to the place he had pointed before. As you approached the entrance he smiled at you, showing his little fangs and scrunching his nose just a bit. 
“Hey, handsome. How about we… smooch smooch?” You asked with a juvenile smile and he giggled, putting his arms around your waist and leaving a small kiss on your lips. 
“I’m sorry, I have a girlfriend.” Mingyu said jokingly and you just kissed him back, thankful that he finally arrived at your post-exposition party. 
“You’re super late, you know?” You nagged, and you could feel him rolling his eyes back before taking his arms off of your waist and holding your hand tightly. 
“Babe, you know your mother loves me. It took me forever to take them home and convince her I should get going. Besides, I got to the exposition before you even got there, so if anything I was super early today.” Your mother insisted that Mingyu was the one to take her and your father home before going to the bar, and you knew for a fact that he was not exaggerating when he said he had to convince her that it was time for him to leave. Maybe your mother liked Mingyu more than she liked you, but you would never ask, you didn’t need that answer just yet. 
“Maybe you taking them was a bad idea…” You started making your way to the table where Seungcheol was throwing back not only his shot, but the one that was right in front of your chair while Raena scolded him for it. 
“Sometimes we need a bad idea.” His tone was mischievous and you couldn’t help but to look at him and see his expression, like a child who had just done something terrible and wanted you to find out. “For instance…”, he let go of your hand, reaching out to his back pocket and taking something out of it. “... I was able to ask your parents if it was ok for me to do this, and your mother loved the place by the way.” 
“P-place?” You were confused, trying to peek at whatever was in his big hands without much success. Mingyu simply nodded, opening his fist slowly and showing you a pair of keys. 
“I was serious when I said two years ago that I couldn’t stand being away from you. Let’s move in together. The place has the porch you wanted and I bought some allergy medicines so I can survive being around the cat we’ll adopt.” That man wasn’t real. He couldn’t be. That love couldn’t be real as well, everything was just so easy with Mingyu that each day you found yourself more and more in love with him. You wrapped your arms around him and that clumsy man in front of you dropped the damn keys, but neither of you minded, neither this nor the loud cheer your friends gave without even knowing what was going on. 
“You are so fucking stupid. And I love you so fucking much.” You said with your head buried in his neck, and Mingyu giggled because of the soft touch of your mouth on his skin. 
“Is that a yes?” His puppy eyes looked at you hopeful, and you nodded your head.
“When was I ever able to say no to you?”
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the real final notes (again)
i don't have much else to say other than thank you for reading if you got this far, i hope you can enjoy reading this fanfiction as much as i did writing it <3
let's see each other in my next work, shall we? :)
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xiakato · 7 months
Text
Interview with the Director(M)- NINGNING
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“Took you long enough to get here,” The woman takes a sip from her glass, her office overlooking a beautiful mountain range in the valleys of Switzerland. 
“Giselle doesn’t like giving me the answers I want,” You sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk. 
“She’s always been one to beat around the bush.” 
“Rather annoying, I had to fuck it out of her,” You sigh placing the audio recorder onto her desk. 
“Well if the stories I’ve heard about you are true, I can’t blame her,” The woman’s smile is captivating. Of course the low light that these women seem to rejoice in, added to the atmosphere nearly as much as their beauty. 
“You could see later, first and foremost it’s an interview my dear Ning Yizhuo.” 
“You’ve certainly done your research, even knowing that name I’ve long since forsaken.” 
“It was difficult, you’ve nearly scrubbed every record of your name besides one of course.” 
“My death certificate?” 
“Yes, why? Why go through all that trouble for everything else but leave that?” 
“Because Ning Yizhuo is dead to the world and anyone that may fall about the story of the Ning family, the family that was found dead in their home.” 
“Tell me about your family,” You pull out your journal, filled with the notes from the previous two interviews. The stories these girls hold you feel that they need to be heard. 
“Run of the mill family, I feel, well as run of the mill we could be for 1740,” She leans back in her luxurious chair, looking out of the floor to ceiling windows. The snow falling to the ground as if it’s a missing piece of a larger than life puzzle, “There were whispers, that my family was plotting to betray the Emperor, yet my family still tried and true. My father was a devoted man, my mother could care less, her only care was the children. Till a night such as this one,” she nods her head at the beautiful snowy night and the surrounding alps, “It was a cold night, the fire burned brightly. They descended about our house, blood lined the walls. The blood of the maids spilt in their living quarters sullied their footsteps. They dragged us out of our beds. The terror that encased my body, the tears that stained my cheeks. The cries of my family that fateful night fell on deaf ears as we were slaughtered one by one,” She pauses as a tear falls down her cheek, remembering that painful night of which changed her life, it haunts her, even now, tormenting her in her dreams, “I was left bleeding out on the floor, my vision slowly fading and that’s when I saw her. Skin was white as the snow that fell around her.”
“Is that how she got her nickname?” 
“You seem to know who it is already so yes that’s how she did get that name, Winter.” 
“What of Karina’s brother?” 
“Oh Sunwoo, a cutie, very diligent. He’s long since gone on to work for an unsavory group of vampires. One's hope is to turn the tide of the elders, hoping to get their hands onto power that is yet out of their grasp.” 
“What is this group?” 
She gets out of her chair, “Follow me,” You grab the recorder and follow, “The group is nothing less than a meager thorn in the side of the ones aligned with the elders. They wish to garner enough power and people that could use the power of elders, ones that aren’t an elder themselves. Much like you.” 
“What would they want me for?” 
“They seem to have found a way to extract the power of the hosts, killing them obviously. I heard recently that they’ve been rather busy. I could only assume they’re looking for you,” She opens the door to her bedroom, a lavish room decorated with black and red satin. 
“I see, well enough of them, how did you come to be in charge of this place?” 
“Elder Marius took a particular liking to me, he is long since dead. Watched him turn to ash.” 
“Thanks for your time Miss Ning,” You bow slightly to her and stop the recorder, turning on your heels to leave. 
“Where do you think you’re going manthing?” Her words stop in your tracks, “You seem to think you can just leave without giving me my payment.” 
“What sort of payment do you think you’re going to get?” You turn to look at her, your eyes falling to her perfect legs crossed as she sits on the edge of her bed. 
“The only thing of use that you can give, so strip,” She commanded, her eyes glowing under the light from the fireplace. You were hoping to avoid this as you didn’t want to fuck everyone you interviewed yet her you are pulling your trousers down. She gestures for you to get closer, you do without a second thought. Her soft and slender hand wraps around your cock, shivers run down your spine as you feel how cold she is despite being near a fire. She smirks to herself, “I see why Giselle decided to keep you around.” 
“She keeps more around for more than just my dick,” You tell her as you make her lay on the bed, hiking up her skirt making short work of her panties. 
“Rather confident about it, you should know by now anything that comes out of her mouth you can’t trust,” She chuckles which is replaced by a sharp inhale and a moan as you slide your cock into her, her tightness squeezes your cock not wanting to let go, “Fuck.”
You grip tightly onto her thighs using them as leverage as you thrust deep into her, she squeezes your cock at random intervals adding to your pleasure. Looking down at her, seeing her with that smirk etched on her lips. You part her lips with your thumb, her fangs grazing across it as you keep thrusting, getting her to feel every inch. Her legs wrap around you tightly as she reaches her climax. You slowly pull out as her juices cover the bed sheet. 
“We aren’t done here pretty boy,” She says between catching her breathing, she gets on her knees arching her back, spreading her ass, “Fuck my ass~” 
You don’t have to be told twice, as you push your tip into her ass, “So tight,” You continue to push deeper and deeper.
“No o-ne has fucked my ass since the 80’s, I had to do it myself~” She moans out as you bottom out in her tight ass, “Break me pretty boy, tear that ass up,” She smiles as she feels your cock piston in and out, “FUCK YES!” 
Her moans echo through the halls, the sound skin slapping against skin accompanies it. Your hand wrapped up in her hair as she takes your cock, her mind merely a blank slate. Her eyes glazed over as her ass was used just like she wanted. You pull out quickly, surprising her as she squirts adding to her puddle. Her whole body shakes as she looks back at you, ”You fucker.” 
“I’m only giving you what you wanted, remember that Yizhuo,” You pull her ass back up, spreading it, looking at your handy work. You smile to yourself as you slide back in with ease. She hasn’t recovered from her latest orgasm as you get back to your pace from before. You grip her hips tightly as you pound away chasing your own high using her like a sex toy. She digs her nails into your forearm. You go as fast as your own hips allow as you start to fill her ass with your cum. You keep going, you want to break her, and you will. Grabbing her other arm using them as leverage.
“FUCK FUCK!” She screams out as she starts to squirt as you rail her ass, making sure her ass will forever be able to take your cock whenever. Shooting another load into her, you finally let her go as she collapses on the bed, cum dripping from her ass. You catch your breath as you head over to your trousers. 
“Dirty slut,” You say getting dressed, and walking towards the door as she starts to giggle digging her fingers into her ass spreading it more. 
“Don’t you want to fill my ass more~?”
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madelynraemunson · 7 months
Text
CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪
(strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!x reader)
𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI
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Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series (completed)
* loosely inspired by Sara Cate’s “Salacious Players Club” series
🔥 EXTRA CONTENT HERE 🔥
↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014** , 015, 016** , 017, 018, 019, 020*
* = somewhat smutty chapters , ** = smut chapters
Summary: 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐓. After getting kicked out by your brother, you have no other choice but to take off your big girl pants and add stripper to your resume. Desperate to pay the bills and support your little sister, are you willing to accept the risks that come with such a perilous profession? With the stage name ‘Shy Girl’, you take the leap of faith, weaponizing your divine femininity to steal the hearts of all the bachelors in Hawkins — including Eddie Munson’s, the owner of Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club.
warnings & disclaimers — slow burn, eventual smut (a lot of it), voyeurism, mutual pining, sexual tension, jealousy, drug/alcohol, profanities, sexual harassment, domestic violence
Welcome to Hellfire.
theme song: meet you in hell by jade lemac “Look me in my eyes. I know that you’re scared. You see yourself and you cry for help. Look me in my eyes. Tell me it’s not fair. If you taught me well, I’ll meet you in hell.”
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Chapter 001: Wolves
The Hargroves are cursed. Generationally, that is. One night Billy takes it too far, costing him the only thing he had left... his sisters.
TW — abuse, domestic violence, blood, profanities, implications of infidelity, death
word count: 8.5k words
author's note: there are four different acts to this introductory chapter :) so much foundation to lay down and i spent forever on this to craft it perfectly for you guys. thank you for being as excited about this fanfic as I am releasing it. i hope you all enjoy! -madelyn
tags: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n
_______________𓆩♡𓆪_______________
"Once I ran to you. Now I run from you."
Duality of man. Mom was always a firm believer in that notion. In fact, she always used to say, "Inside of you, there are two wolves: a good one and a bad one. Depending on which mouth you feed, one will triumph the other.”
It became more evident when she died.
“YOU FUCKING SLUT. GRAB YOUR SHIT AND GO.”
Once identical in every aspect, the differences between you and your brother slowly began to unravel over time.
Being ‘good wolf’ was impossible while living under the same roof as Billy. So you settled for neutral wolf instead. Meanwhile, the big, bad wolf possessed him at age 15, when he realized hitting your father back would get him to back off.
It was 2010, post-homecoming game.
Dad nearly flung Billy into another dimension when he came home. The preferred alternative would have been attempting to reason with one another, but it just wasn’t something that was normalized in the Hargrove household. Communicating with words was a daunting task; but not nearly as daunting as accountability.
“I’M DONE WITH YOU, BILLY. GRAB YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE.”
“I’m a literal minor, you can’t do this, Dad!” Billy wailed. "PLEASE!"
Over a football game.
The Friday Night Lights were a staple of Vista Palms High School. That and all of its nacho-eating, pot-smoking, LMFAO-playing, neon-filled goodness.
"C’mon V-P, c’mon, let’s beat S-D!” For weeks Billy had been chanting that mantra. There was no clearer indication that it’s where he would be the night of the championship game. He didn’t communicate it, of course, but it was implied. But still, it didn’t cross Dad’s mind.
Any parent who thought their child was coming home on time — and sober — that night was a foolish one. Especially if their kid was a sophomore with senior status.
“You sure as hell don't act like one,” Dad spat. “Coming home, acting all grown." Little did Dad know Billy was there for community service. Billy was a good student. More than anything he wanted a full ride to a UC, mainly to get away from home. Either that or military. Maybe then, walking on eggshells and being accused of something he didn't do — like drinking and doing drugs — would be a seasonal occurence instead of daily. "ACTING LIKE YOU PAY THE BILLS. YOU DON'T. YOUR MOM AND I DO.”
Dad knew he hit a nerve. It was his signature move aside from alienating his victims to establish control. While the feeling of getting your wings clipped really did you in, reactive abuse was Billy's top trigger, especially when Mom was mentioned. After all, Billy was the one who found Her.
Through glassy eyes and gritted teeth, Billy closed up his fists before mustering up the courage to say, “I’m…not…calling Sue... the operative word.”
Dad snarled. “Like there’s anyone else physically here you’ve reserved that title for?”
Oh.
"This tainted love you've given-"
Billy took the bait, lunging forward to grab Dad. As if on cue, Dad winded up his arm, assuming his usual position. You managed to assert yourself between in hopes of stopping them. Suddenly the back of Dad's hand collided with your cheek, sprawling you onto the couch. Billy watched horrified while you fought to keep your eyes open, growing anxious when all you could hear was the room pulsating around you at the highest frequency you had ever heard in your 15 long years of life. Enough was enough.
One punch. Bridge of the nose. Game over. The control Dad had over you both had ceased.
Billy rushed to your aid while Dad took a few moments to gather himself. It was then his beat-in, throbbing eyes realized that the little boy he mercilessly pushed around was no longer there. His own little Frankenstein had taken his place.
"I gave you all a boy could give you"
"Oh my god, Sissy," Billy cried, crouching down to run a soothing hand through your hair. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," you sniff, wrapping a hand around his arm. "I'm fine, Billy. I promise."
"I'm not gonna let that son of a bitch hurt you ever again," he vowed. "I'm gonna fuck him up and anyone else who tries."
"I love you, Brother."
"I love you, Sissy." The magnitude of power that surged through Billy melted into every neuron in his body, the warmth of its adrenaline imitating a tender — long overdue — embrace. He became fully enveloped in what was like an electric current, its tide higher than any wave he's ever surfed. It became more exhilarating than cruising down the I-5 in his Camaro at 130 MPH, and more intoxicating than any keg of beer he's ever swigged at a Wanna-be Project X Party.
It was the rush Billy had been searching for his whole life.
Every high Billy ever pursued before that rapidly declined in value. He would trade in anything for the static that had encoded itself into him. He felt untouchable, a luxury your father couldn’t afford his wife and children.
"YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON HER AGAIN, YOU'RE DEAD DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
From that day forward, feeling respected was a freedom Billy was not willing to sacrifice, ever.
"Take my tears and that's not nearly all-"
But now Billy is the abuser, something you never imagined happening given his innately soft personality.
"Oh, tainted love. Don't touch me! Please.”
Slapping. Biting. Choking each other out. Pulling each other’s hair. Calling each other names. Spitting. Throwing things. Who would’ve thought the Hargrove twins were capable of the same horrors as their parents?
Yesterday was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Billy’s voice, like nails on a chalkboard, clawed at your brain in agonizing intervals.
“That’s all Max is. A pathetic little liar.”
“She will do anything for any bit of attention…even whore herself out to all the men in Del Mar.”
“You can get out. And stay out. Since you wanna act so grown all the damn time.”
He became the very thing — or person rather — he sought to destroy. The very person who indirectly, but explicably killed your mother.
And deep down you feared that if you and your stepsister Max don’t get out of that house, you’d both suffer that same fate.
“It's fucking JULY and 90 degrees out!” your sister retaliated. “What do you want me to wear to the beach? Fucking sweats?"
Max was out with friends the night prior. They hosted a birthday bonfire for her at the beach. She broke curfew and got a ride home from a friend. A guy friend. Billy wasn’t having it.
Max always got the short end of the stick. She was an easy target for Billy’s antics. Being the literal carbon copy of the woman he hates the most didn’t make it any better, and neither did taking the bait whenever Billy dealt it to “keep the peace”. Max believes being and acting helpless would get Billy to back down. It was far from the truth. In reality, she was feeding him his supply.
And what a volatile supply it is.
Mom also had another saying: "Anger is just grief with nowhere to go".
So you watched Billy and Max go back and forth with their pickleball tournament-o-insults, shouting at one another to their lungs’ capacity, their dead, black pupils strangling each other mentally while they gathered the physical strength to do so as well. You kept an arm halfway up and torso slightly turned in case you needed to butt in.
“I do this because I love you, Maxine,” Billy insisted. “So just SHUT UP and stop being a little cunt. Okay?”
“You stop being a presumptuous asshole first,” Max fired back. “We’re fighting again — why? Because someone with a penis drove me home? And we broke curfew by 10 minutes? I don’t control traffi-”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he dismissed her. “Just say you wanted some dick and call it a night.”
Classic slut-shaming, as if Billy’s Instagram following wasn’t all models, strippers, and OnlyFans girls.
Before you could even process what was happening, the blurbs of their argument skidded to a halt when Max finally broke. Billy watched in subtle amusement as she screamed, her fist meeting the wall repeatedly out of frustration.
Reactive abuse is Billy’s favorite abuse tactic.
“Someone who’s not guilty wouldn’t react like this,” Billy quipped in a sing-song voice, eyeing the new hole in the dry wall that Max had created.
There was no sense in backtracking if Billy already got what he wanted. Max just needed the last word. Before any of you could process it, an acrylic storage box soared through the air, hitting Billy right in the groin. He roared in agony while Max attempted to collect herself off to the side. She still saw red.
That’s when the knife came out.
One slice to the brow and it was over. To ensure the last word was his to keep, Billy ended up chucking a knife at your sister.
“OHMYGOD!” Max shrieked repeatedly, entering the ‘freeze’ stage of her shock. “OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, I’M BLEEDING! I’M BLEEDING, THERE’S BLOOD!”
It was then you realized, the little boy you vowed to protect and refused to leave behind was long gone. Dad’s essence had taken his place now.
“You just don’t know when to FUCKING STOP, do you?” you exclaimed, putting pressure on Max’s eyebrow with a washcloth as she wailed. Suddenly it was Dad you were talking to. They had the same apathetic, dead look in their eyes. “I don’t care who said or did what, throwing a fucking KNIFE?”
“Me?” Billy tutted. “You wanna call me crazy, who did that?” He was referring to the hole in the wall. “And who was the one to throw shit first? EXACTLY. EXACTLY.”
While Billy was technically correct, he would never admit to what he did to provoke you two.
“So you can both get out if you’d like. Be my fucking guests.”
You and Max exchanged one look. The look. It was time. You both were ready and now had the green light. Now was the chance to bolt without immediate consequences.
So you and your sister spent several minutes rummaging through your pre-packed belongings while Billy continued to shit-talk aimlessly around the rental you shared. The place soon reeked of cheap bud and gas station gin. Trash bags were soon filled with your favorite clothes and you shoved them into as many of your childhood suitcases as possible. Struggling to see past your tear-coated eyes, you reached for your books, the ones you've hollowed out 300 pages deep to pocket all the tips from your waitressing job, and shoved the loose bills into your crossbody. You’d sort through them later. Lastly, you popped the cap off the bottom of your salt lamp. There was a pre-paid Visa you bought several months beforehand waiting for you. With trembling hands, you grasped it and whispered a gratitude to the Universe before tucking it neatly into the back pocket of your Levi’s.
When it was all said and done and everything was loaded into your car, you focus on the hole in the dry wall one last time.
Never again.
Billy was complacent throughout the entirety of the event. You glared at him while he continued to soothe himself with drugs and alcohol, refusing to own up to the irreversible damage he caused your little family.
“SIS,” Max boomed from outside. “LET’S GO!”
A part of you used to pity Billy, but now his destructive behavior took away any ounce of guilt you felt for leaving him.
You never fought back until you had no other choice. Similarly, and tragically, Billy shared that very sentiment.
Who the villain is in the narrative relied solely on whose lens you are looking through.
It took you by surprise all the time. How could identical twins, who grew up in the same environment, end up so different from one another?
“I love you, though you hurt me so. Now I’m gonna pack my things and go." - Tainted Love by Soft Cell
There are two wolves inside of everyone.
——————————𓇼——————--------
"Are the pieces of you in the pieces of me? I'm just so scared you're who I'll be. When I erupt just like you do, they look at me like I look at you" - DNA by Lia Marie Johnson
The heart-wrenching ballad by Lia Marie Johnson dissolves as you crank the dial to the left. Music is always depressing when Max has the aux chord.
"Did you hear what I said?" you question her.
Max abruptly sits up and reorients herself, attempting to shrug off the trance “DNA” had put her in for a few minutes.
"No, sorry. What'd you say again?"
"Do you need a bathroom break?"
"I'll go at the airport.”
"Okay, but if you change your mind and decide to take a leak one last time, I'll be happy to oblige.”
Swami’s is also an exit away and you’re just fixing for a hot meal before takeoff. But you don’t directly say that. Besides, Max loses her appetite when she’s upset and may only have room for shitty airplane food.
“I’ll just eat on the plane.”
Stale pretzels and flat soda it is.
Despite the decrease in appetite, Max is holding up well. As well as anyone-who-was-nearly-stabbed-by-her-brother-and-is-now-moving-states-away-from-everything-she’s-ever-known-with-her-sister could be.
It wasn’t your first choice to leave California. In fact, you did everything you could to avoid it. But nonetheless, anyone with a conscious and only $4,000 to their name would make the wise decision to move away to somewhere more affordable.
Enter your online friend, Robin.
Working ungodly hours six days a week to pay the bills took up so much of your time that you had no friends in San Diego — albeit high school friends who would have never guessed how you and Billy turned out. Those friends had happy families anyway. They couldn’t hold space for you. Your online friend Robin, who you met on an art forum, however knew your family dynamic and was there for everything. But she lived in Indiana with her partner and was never able to offer you any physical comfort.
You entertained Robin’s idea of moving to where she lives, a small town in Indiana called Hawkins just 20 minutes southeast of the city. Living under the radar to get your ducks in a row seemed like such a perfect plan, but you didn’t want to do so at the expense of Max losing her only support system she had outside of you.
Moving would’ve also meant pulling her out of school, which wouldn’t be possible because Billy was her legal guardian. Now that she’s graduated high school, and today is her 18th birthday, the game has changed completely.
“Donovan texted me happy birthday,” Max reports, finally disclosing a fragment of her inner conscience. “Thought it was sweet.”
You can’t help but smile. "You thought he wouldn’t?”
She refrains from rolling her eyes and shifts them towards the rocky beach cliffs outside her window.
“You know,” you add. “I really think you two could make long distance work. I’ve never seen so much chemistry between two people before.”
Max scoffs. "Yeah right. Long distance with a guy going to Santa Barbara for college?” She fiddles with the strings of the knit poncho resting atop her lap. “I'd be breaking my own heart."
You bite your lip to stop the waterworks. Max doesn’t deserve any of this. She deserves to enjoy bonfires with her skater friends, surf all the tubular waves, and go on all the nature hikes without worrying about her stepbrother’s codependent-fits-of-rage waiting for her when she comes home. She deserves to eat fried funnel cake at the county fair and share a kiss with the boy of her dreams atop a Ferris wheel on the 4th of July. She deserves a San Diego summer, not a summer spent in hiding from her abuser in the middle of buttfuck nowhere.
Max decides to change the subject.
“So what’s Robin like? Your online friend.”
“She’s very sweet,” you breathe. “Been, uh, telling her about Billy for a long time now. Her arms have been open since day one.”
“And her girlfriend?”
“Vicky’s the best,” you insist. “A match made in heaven for sure. It’s like they’re the same person, just different font.”
You get a giggle out of Max. Her laughter during such a turbulent time is like music to your ears. The non-depressing kind.
“I’m really sorry I couldn’t get you a gift this year.”
She side eyes you.
“What are you talking about? You quite literally gave me the best gift of all.”
“Did I? What did I give you?”
“You gave me safety.”
And with that, you give yourself a mental pat on the back, confident you made the right choice despite how foreign everything currently felt. The conversation dies down while you and Max ride on, driving further and further away from the Park and Ride you spent the night at, off Coast Highway, and onto the I-5 one last time.
Boarding the plane is a swift process. Your plane is a two-seater, so Max gets the window and you get the aisle. After receiving your snacks and drinks, you decide to play white noise and dissociate for the next five hours. It’s safe to do so, anyways. Liminal spaces were not something you took for granted.
Meanwhile, Max looks out the window, watching as the world she has come to know her whole life shrinks right before her eyes, before disappearing underneath a quilt of soft white cumulus clouds.
“This is 18.”
Goodbye, San Diego.
—————— ✈︎ ———————
Hello, Hawkins.
“Please, make yourself at home,” Robin incites, trudging through the miscellaneous projects that sit at her feet. “As if we weren’t DIY freaks enough, the pandemic really just amplified that.”
The pandemic was a hard time for everyone. You lost your fine dining gig and abruptly switched to UberEats to adjust to the flow of takeout. Billy couldn’t go to the gym, his happy place, and it took a toll on him mentally. Max broke quarantine multiple times to see Donovan, which didn’t sit well with your brother. He of course lashed out on her and also proclaimed that people like her were the reason why America hadn’t opened up yet.
“And I get no time at the gym!” Billy screamed. “So now I have to do this—”
You learned that a decent lamp costed $70 that night.
That wasn’t your first rodeo though. You and Billy grew up replacing furniture all the time. You two would gather up your money and spend it on replacing whatever needed replacing for Mom’s birthday. She always wanted to make your house feel like a home. Feel lived in. You and Billy thought you were heroes doing it, but it dawns on you now that you two were just babies.
“Oh!” Vicky interrupts. “Before we forget…”
You and Max watch her as she scrambles around, looking for something that she seemed ecstatic about.
“Happy birthday, Max!”
“No way, Kate Bush!” Max exclaims as she accepts the gift, an original Kate Bush vinyl record of her album Hounds of Love.
"Wow," you beam, rubbing your sister’s back. “Way to fuel her 80's hyperfixation, huh?"
“We found this at the thrift store,” Vicky boasted. “Knew we had to get it for ya.”
“It’s the real deal too," Robin adds. "Look, printed 1985.”
“It’s perfect,” Max gushes. “Can’t wait to play it on my Crosley.”
She thanks them both and hugs them before running back to the living room to get the rest of your belongings. You listen as she hums some of Kate Bush’s discography along the way.
You then observe Max as she unpacks her things one by one, slightly peppered with remnants of the California sand and the snobby fee it took to ship it all here via cargo. She then proceeds to sit on the new bed to check the springing quality, testing its bounce factor and comparing it to that of her old bed.
You let out a bittersweet sigh.
Suddenly you're eight years old, doing the same thing at the local motel Mom managed to snag a couple nights from when Dad trashed the house.
You turn to look in the mirror atop your new dresser.
Suddenly, you're Mom. Quite literally. You both have the same wavy blonde hair, scattered freckles across your nose that Billy used to call “stardust”, and the same tsunami blue eyes. It makes it no wonder why you and Dad never got along. You are Mom’s spitting image — and Billy is Dad’s.
Funny how life turns out.
You graze the crows feet at the outer corner of your eyes, realizing now how many years have silently passed you by, and then take note of the stress-defined scars in the form of eye baggage from all the sleepless nights that came as a souvenir.
You’ve put up with so much. For so long. The trauma is starting to manifest itself physically.
Robin snaps you back into present day. "So I was thinking we go to Applebee's for dinner, walk around Old Town, get you guys settled and unpacked when we return, Jenga at night, and then-"
She stops when she sees the horrified expression on your face.
“Hey…” the pitch in her comforting, raspy voice heightens. “What’s the matter?”
Your voice breaks. “It’s…” you manage. “It’s been a lot.”
Robin pats your back. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
Without looking, Robin snags a few tissues from a box laying around and gives them to you. You blot the tears away, careful not to mess up the makeup you had on with the intention to make you look less…dead.
“Sue didn’t even call and wish her happy birthday. Her own mother.”
“I’m so sorry,” Robin repeats.
“Every day I watch Max store her trauma in the box... and just shove it into the corner where it gathers dust,” you continue. “If she doesn't unpack it..."
You didn’t even want to think of the collateral damage you and your brother caused her. A part of you wants to think Maxine has remained untouched from that side of you, but the dry blood on her outer brow was a reminder that it was far too late to shelter her from that.
"You see yourself in her."
"And my mom in myself,” you admit. “Now more than ever.”
You rub your eyes.
“I’m rambling, I know. It’s just… SO aggravating. Max deserves better.”
“She’s handling it really well.”
“We don’t know that. I know Max. She’s a pro at hiding her feelings.”
“She’s being strong for you, like you are for her. It’s very endearing, whether you both admit it to each other or not.”
She rubs your arm.
“For as long as Vicky and I are here, you and Maxine have a soft place to land. We are here for you. Y’all are safe.”
You two glance over at Max, who is now unpacking your Zen Basics Himalayan salt lamp. She sets it on top your new bedside table, a reupholstered one whose old wood was painted over by an earthy olive green, the old hardware replaced by eccentric shaped, neutral-toned knobs. Her Crosley sits on your floor, now playing a track off Kate Bush's vinyl while she stares out the window. Your new view for the foreseeable future.
Can't you see where memories are kept bright?
Tripping on the water like a laughing girl
Time in her eyes is spawning past life
One with the ocean and the woman unfurled
Holding all the love that waits for you here
Catch us now for I am your future
A kiss on the wind and we'll make the land.
Dinnertime comes fast, but you blame it on the time zone difference. You call shotgun and ride with Robin in the passenger seat, catching up with your best friend while Vicky and Max watch YouTube shorts in the backseat.
Robin gives you a backstory of everything you pass on the way to Applebees, from the schools to churches to family-owned gas stations. She and Vicky seem to know everyone by a first-name basis, naming random people off and knowing exactly who that is every so often. You try to stay engaged, but the only thing on your mind is where you’re going to apply for a job.
Robin drives into a plaza next.
"This used to be a mall, but now it's completely empty," Robin continues pointing to an empty building with remnants of a star symbol etched on it. "E-commerce really turned this strip into a ghost town."
"So basically, if I wanted a job, it would have to be any of these food places, an office of sorts, or an off-brand Blockbuster store?"
"Family Video is closing too," Vicky chimes in. "It's sad. But I guess Hawkins needs yet another overpriced coffee shop."
"You could always work at the gentlemen's club," Max jokes, pointing off to the side.
You turn to where she’s pointing and take note of the matte black rectangular building by the Sizzler’s. It didn’t seem out of place, but the silhouette of an exotic dancer with devil horns gave the sinister establishment away. You couldn’t read the name of the club, but a part of you tries to.
Robin slightly turns and nods in that direction. "Oh yeah. I heard the girls there make bank in tips."
“I made bank in La Jolla doing fine dining,” you point out. “Maybe I can do the same thing here. But at a similar establishment.”
“Fanciest restaurant you’ll get here is Benny’s,” Vicky says. “You’re gonna have to go to the city for fine dining. I don’t think the commute is worth.”
“Guess stripper is your best option,” Max nudges you.
You shoot a glare her way. “Very funny.”
"I know, I was joking," she scoffs. "Billy would kill you anyways."
Billy would literally go insane if you dared to work at a strip club. The slut-shaming would never end. Not that he never slut-shamed you anyway. There was always something for him to be misogynistic and hypocritical about.
Then it hits you. Billy isn't here. And you really need the money since in this day and age, $4,000 meant nothing. You peer over at the gentlemen's club one last time as it shrinks out of view the further Robin drives.
HELLFIRE.
-----------𓆩♡𓆪------------
Dungeons & Dragons.
Of course one of the very few strip clubs in Hawkins has to be the dorkiest.
But you understand the vision. Beyond the cobblestone entrance, the veil between real life and fantasy thins.
As you near the club with nothing but a purse and car keys in hand, you notice that there’s already security by the door. You’re surprised to see a leaner guy, tall and slender with soft blonde hair and a soft grin to match. He catches sight of you and greets you with a nod.
“Good afternoon,” he says. “How are you today?”
“I’m good,” you nod. You reach for your wallet and give him your ID. Typical screening process. “Yourself?”
“Not too shabby,” he replies.
He examines your ID card. You notice his surprise when his eyes slightly widen before retracting shortly after. You guess that he was wondering why you are here out of all places. You peer over at his name tag while he concludes his screening. Henry.
Upon verification of your identity, the friendly security guard returns your card to you.
“Let me give you a wrist band.”
He motions for you to hold an arm out. You extend your right arm to him and watch as he gracefully pulls a paper wristband out of his pocket, clasping it into place with the side that read “21+” facing upwards.
You take the time to admire the gentleness of this man. The softness of his face. His dreamy gaze.
“Any weapons on you?”
“Uh…” you stammer. “Just pepper spray?”
A laugh escapes from his nostrils. “That’s fine, my dear.”
“I hope I don’t have to use it.”
“Don’t worry, darling. Under my watch, you won’t.”
Henry gently strokes your hand before motioning you inside.
“Enjoy the show.”
“Thanks,” you smile politely.
It’s a slow afternoon, but granted no one goes to a strip club at 2 PM. The Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club was comprehensively laced with playful innuendos. The accent wall by the entrance showcases an array of chains and handcuffs. Kukris, nun-chucks, and flails all of different variants and sizes are displayed on the walls, the point of balance being a vintage pulp print of a metal puppeteer. On the print, "OBEY YOUR MASTER" is written in edgy bubble letters.
Kinky.
And there’s a bonus of this themed club: the ladies are dressed in cloaks. You watch as beautiful women from all walks of life strut around the joint, leaving the clients with only their imagination to guess what’s underneath the tantalizing, medieval velvet.
There are LED signs that lit up corners of the space, indicating what they were for. KAS’ KORNER: GRAB A BITE, DRAGON'S BREATH: HOOKAH LOUNGE, and POTIONS — the bar.
You catch a glimpse of the private show rooms, or at least what you think are the private show rooms.
The LED sign to those rooms read, "I PUT A SPELL ON YOU AND NOW YOU'RE MINE."
The general seating area for the main event reads VECNA’S LAIR.
The Dungeon Master of this joint thought of every possible detail he could and ironed it into perfection.
Surely, someone who truly plays would adore every aspect of all the details, but it was evident that everyone came here for the same reason:
Girls, girls, girls.
You walk over to the bar to see two men conversing behind it.
One looked to be in his late 20s, with scruffy chestnut brown hair, some tired eyes, peach fuzz, and a patterned shirt decorated in a kaleidoscope of colors — a shirt meticulously calculated by quite possibly a girlfriend.
The other looked like he had another year left before being allowed to be behind that counter... of course judging by the “Hawkins High School class of 2021” on his insulated water bottle in his hand, a cracked iPhone in the other, and Beats with a small basketball sticker on it.
When you appear in their periphery, the conversation between the two gradually comes to a stop.
“Whoa,” the younger man hums. “New face. Welcome.”
“Hi. What do you recommend?”
“In terms of what?” the younger man questions slyly. There’s a timidness to the young man’s spirit, making his flirtatious demeanor somewhat dorky. The age appropriate bartender nudges him.
“Drinks, hotshot,” you refrain from chuckling. “Drinks.”
“Depends what you’re into,” the younger man replies, the slyness continuing. “If you’re into light liquors, Jonathan can make you a mean Cîroc with pineapple juice. But if you’re more into the dark stuff…”
He gestures up and down on himself.
“Then look no further.”
“That was very painful to listen to,” the older one who you assume is Jonathan cringes. “Can you get anymore corny?”
“Ta-ha!” the younger one tsks. “He said could I get any more corny. Can you get any more bitchless?”
“I have a girlfriend, Lucas.”
“Emphasis on the singular sense.”
“Nance is all I need.”
"Nancy is all you can pull," Lucas chuckles. "With that goofy ass shirt, man. Stop playing with me."
So you weren’t the only one who thought the shirt was absolutely ridiculous. It had "Bad Bitch Repellant" written all over it.
Jonathan whacks Lucas with the cloth that was sitting atop his shoulder. You request a double Tito’s straight on the rocks from Jonathan to which he automatically starts to make. Lucas continues to interrogate you.
“As you heard, my name is Lucas. Lucas Sinclair.” He extends his hands to you. “But my favorite ladies call me 'Dark Chocolate'. You can call me, 'The Man of Your Dreams' though.”
You take the youngster’s hand in yours and shake it. His heavy locker room cologne makes your nose swell, an uneven mix of what you believe is Axe and — is that Dior?
You tell Lucas your name then hit him with a, “But you can call me ‘When You’re Thirty’.”
Lucas laughs at your joke, beaming up at you as he does so. Then he nods to communicate a gracious fair enough. The flirting, you could sense, was in good nature, playful.
“It was worth a shot,” he shrugs. “Do you have a younger sister by any chance?”
“Oh in your dreams, mister.”
Jonathan chuckles and rubs Lucas’s back.
"That’s enough man, can you go buss that table over there?"
Lucas gives a thumbs up before putting his Beats on and walking away. You divert your attention back to Jonathan who is now done with making your drink.
“Alright… I got a Tito’s double shot — straight — on the rocks,” Jonathan announces as he slides your vice on over. He studies you as you take the drink and request to keep the tab open. “I’m inclined to ask. Are you okay?”
When you’re not around Billy, you wear your heart on your sleeve. It wouldn’t hurt to trauma dump on a stranger. Especially one who asked.
“Pretty far from okay,” you answer before chugging it. “Can’t you tell? It’s 2PM and I’m consoling…” You slosh the drink around in your hand. “…my man Tito.”
“I see that.”
“It’s been a long day,” you continue. “It’s my second day in Hawkins so I thought I’d scope this place out. Dilly dally for a bit.”
“Second day?” Jonathan questions. “As in…ever?”
“Yeah, just moved here.”
The bartender looks around as if he’s missed something. “But…why?”
It’s a fair reaction. If the welcome sign is correct, Hawkins only has a population of 1,314 people. 1,316 now including you and Maxine.
“My friend lives here and convinced me to make the move,” is what you explain, though it only seems to make Jonathan more confused. “Couldn’t take the heat Cali was dishing out. Hawkins seemed like the perfect place to slow down.”
“Oh man,” Jonathan mutters. “California to here, what a change.”
“You lived here long?”
“Lived here my whole life,” he answers as a matter of factly.
“What made you get a job at Hellfire?”
Jonathan didn’t have to think. “I love booze.”
You laugh together, raising your half-empty class to clink his invisible one.
“I hate 9-5s,” Jonathan draws on. “Working from home ‘bout damn near drove me insane, don’t know how my mom does it with such ease. My boss here smokes me out on occasion and my friends make me nachos.” He smiles. “Can’t think of anything better.”
“There we go.”
"I’ve also just been looking out for women my whole life," he adds. "Bout time I get some financial compensation for it, no?"
“Amen to that,” You chug the last of your drink. “Thanks for your service.”
"Pleasure is mine. Anything else I can do for ya?"
You think. "Hm, probably not you, but maybe the hiring manager can do something for me."
"You're looking to work here?" he clarifies as you nod. "Oh sweet, you're going to wanna talk to Eddie. He's the owner."
"And a dweeb," says a significantly younger looking fellow as he slides into the conversation.
“Here we go.”
In front of you now is a gentleman around Lucas’s age with wild curly brown hair. You watch as he helps himself to a club soda, dunking three large wedges of lemon into his cup as well.
The guy offers you a playful, pearly white grin. “Eddie may own a nice club with some smokin' hot babes, but he's got no game whatsoever."
“Hey Dustin.”
“Sup, man.”
“You think so?" you challenge him.
"I know so,” the boy who you now know as Dustin insists. “Can't talk up a chick to save his life."
"Yeah," Jonathan says, half-jokingly. "He's the bitchless one."
Dustin glances between you both, slightly puzzled.
You shake your head. "No way."
"I wouldn't say he's that bad," Dustin says. "I actually think he's seeing someone casually. But in general, dude's got zero rizz."
"Projecting are we?" Jonathan nudges him.
“HELL. NO.” Dustin booms. You attempt to refrain from laughing. “My game is what got me the baddest gal at science camp. Eddie? Clumsy as hell, stutters on his words, he's got the anxiety level of someone who drinks cold brew on an empty stomach… Now that I say it out loud, I think he does drink cold brew on an empty stomach. Some chicks dig it though, which is good for him.”
Curly was fun to observe. Once he’s done talking down on the club owner, Dustin politely walks over and shakes your hand, bowing to you like you’re a princess of sorts. You later find it that like Lucas, Dustin works as a bus boy and server, and his girlfriend makes sure that he remains in Kas’ Korner at all times. Dustin has about two years left before legally being permitted behind the POTIONS bar, but that doesn’t stop him from using it as his own storage shed.
You watch as he grabs some deodorant and hair pomade from an old shoe box under the counter.
“Anyways, later,” Dustin holds up a peace sign, starting towards the door. “I'm not on today, I'm just hitting the gym with Steve."
“Later, man!” Jonathan calls after him.
“Deuces. Say hello to Dark Chocolate for me.”
Before he could get any further, the loud swinging of a door closeby causes him to halt in place.
“ALRIGHT!” a loud, gruff voice booms from that direction. “Which one of you shitheads forgot to take inventory on the 10th?!”
You can’t help but turn your body towards the ruckus. And to your own pleasant surprise, you don’t regret it. Emerging from the door comes the possible shift lead, a tall and broad man with medium length wavy brown hair, chocolate-colored, youthful doe eyes that contradicted the deep lines on his face, bleach white Chuck Taylor’s, ripped black jeans, and a Hellfire Club baseball tee with the logo smack-dab in the middle.
The man looked to be in his mid to late 20s, with an assertiveness in his stride. His lips, a perfectly formed bow with a smirk-like undertone. The cool rings that rest upon his fingers look icy as they sway at his side, shining in contrast to his dark clothing.
The man is too tunnel-visioned to see where he was going. But that doesn’t stop Dustin from looking absolutely mortified.
“The 10th and the 11th,” the man clarifies. “So for all we know, we might need new kegs and ground chili, which is one more thing I have to d-”
Finally he looks up, with you being the first thing he sees. Proximity taking him aback, he snaps out of his stress-induced trance and softens up at the sight of you. You meet his eyes, big and beautiful with long wispy lashes and you can’t help but mimic the flutter in your heart in the form of a smile.
“Whoa.” He says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Whoa, indeed.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s Eddie’s first day back, he tends to get a little in the zone,” Dustin explains.
Eddie.
Does that mean…
“Are you the hiring manager?”
You didn’t know who you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the man in front of you. He must be proud of himself, having such a successful business so early in the game.
Eddie gathers himself quickly.
“Dungeon Master, hiring manager, manager, owner, sanitations, re-stocker,” Mr. Jack-of-all-trades confirms. “I do it all.” He grimaces at Dustin. "Since you know, some people don't wanna work."
"You said I can have off!" Dustin exclaims defensively. "I worked for you before the weekend already and I wasn’t even on the 10th and 11th, fuck outta here."
All it takes is a scowl his way from the boss and Dustin is radio silent. The look on Eddie's face definitely said "Watch your tone". Eyes are all on you once more soon after.
Eddie’s gaze softens when he looks at you.
“Were you…looking to apply?”
“Yeah,” you reply sheepishly. “As a dancer. I’d like to perform here.”
“You don’t sound too confident.”
“Some guys like shy girls,” you shrug.
He laughs, a dark honey kind of laugh that just oozed from the back of his throat. “That they do.” His voice deepens drastically. Eddie studies you. “Any dancing experience?”
“Dancing, yes.”
“Stripping experience?”
“None.”
“Hm,” Eddie says. “What do you have experience in?”
“I danced for a bit…I have good core strength,” you explain vaguely. “And I’ve worked in the restaurant industry so I’d say customer service is my superpower.”
Eddie soaks in the information.
“I know how to talk to people,” you continue. “I know the right things to say. Favorite pass time is upselling drinks. And dessert…”
You wait for Eddie to take the low hanging fruit. He doesn’t.
"Any experience with the pole?”
Your cheeks grow hot. You decide to lie.
"No.”
“Kinda essential for this profession, sweetheart.”
"I know," you respond humbly. "I wouldn’t doubt it for a second..." you scan the room. “So uh, do I need a permit to perform here?”
“Nah, Hawkins is a lawless wasteland pretty much,” he sighs placing his hands on his hips. “And my club does things a little different anyways. The ladies also don’t pay to perform, we pay them to.”
Shit. Strippers pay to perform at venues?
“The dining experience is what brings the base revenue in,” Lucas explains, returning from wherever he had been. “The ladies are a luxury.”
“And should be treated as such,” Jonathan chimes in.
“I take it you don’t work at any other clubs?” Eddie questions judging by your wide eyes attempting to take in every bit of information that has been dumped on you. The man sees right through your mask.
“No, but I-”
“I personally like to give everyone a chance,” Eddie says. “So don’t worry babe, you’re good. Even though you don’t have any experience, your energy tells me that you have potential. Wanna show us what you can do?”
Your heart sinks. The handsome club owner called you babe. And you’re also being asked to perform with the little experience you have — in front of girls who had tons of experience.
“Here? Now?”
Eddie nods.
You weren’t prepared to dance today. But with your sister and the mountain of debt on your mind, you are willing to do anything. So you walk over to Jonathan and tell him what song you feel most comfortable performing to and stretch as he takes the time to find it. When all is said and done, you make your way to the icy pillar made of chrome steel that was calling for your attention.
You exhale deeply.
Back to the old stomping grounds. The last time you worked with a pole you were wearing Heeley’s and light up sneakers. Of course in place of the horny spectators there were playground supervisors, and the only “bars” there were monkey bars. Oh, and you were 8, not 28.
The slut-shaming still existed, though. One time a boy told you that you were acting like a ‘hoe’ for trying to do a trick upside down. To Billy’s retaliation though. Before you knew it, the same boy was being shoved down and dragged across the wood chips, acquiring a series of splinters along the way. Admin phoned home. You and Billy got spanked. But, of course, Billy had no regrets. While you both cooled off together, you remember him grazing your hand, telling you he’d beat that kid up “a gajillion times over”.
He kept that promise. Except as you two grew older, it was you he was doing it to. A gajillion times over.
You laugh at the bittersweet nostalgia.
“Whenever you’re ready, babe,” Eddie says.
You give Jonathan a thumbs up to play your song selection. Soon, Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club is filled with the catchy, seductive tune that is Layla by Eric Clapton.
You start with a small stroll around the pole. Then a dramatic dip to flaunt your bouncy golden locks. Soon, the women of Hellfire gather around with the men following soon after to watch you work your magic in Vecna’s crowded Lair.
If muscle memory is in your favor, they are in for a good show.
What will you do when you get lonely
No one waiting by your side?
You've been running, hiding much too long
You know it's just your foolish pride
Eddie claims a seat at a throne directly in front of the pole. He studies your technique, your movements, your facial expressions. You aren’t sure if reality is projecting onto you or if you’re dizzy from all the spinning, but you almost see a slight smile spread across the club owner’s face. It prompts you to keep going.
Layla, got me on my knees
Layla, begging, darling, please Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
It’s a lot harder, your techniques and tricks. Most likely since you weigh more than 50 pounds now and had to exert more energy to keep yourself balanced an aligned. But nonetheless, you persist.
Tried to give you consolation
Your old man had let you down
Like a fool, I fell in love with you
You turned my whole world upside down
You buck your hips upward from you back arch to go into an upside down position. It earns you some hooting and cheering from the crowd.
“You better work, mamas!” a dancer cheers.
“I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT!”
“YOU GO GIRL!”
“YAAAS!”
Layla, got me on my knees
Layla, I'm begging, darling, please Layla
Darling, won't you ease my worried mind?
Eddie watches intently, leaning backwards with his hands clasped forward. You feel his eyes burn through you, from the top of your head down to your toes. You feel as if he’s mentally scoring you like you’re at a competition, but the sisterhood that cheers you on makes you feel slightly less intimidated.
“SHE’S SO GOOD!” comes a high-pitched voice in the crowd. “I FREAKING LOVE HER!”
You turn to look at your own personal cheerleader, a bright-eyed cute little redhead with pigtails with an outfit that looks like an ode to Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. She has cherry hair ties that hold her two pigtails at the bottom.
You watch her clap and jump up and down, cheering you on with a beam in her eyes that made you feel like your souls have been friends for decades.
Motivated to attempt more risqué moves, you jump into the splits before kicking your legs around to end on your knees.
Clapping and whistling erupts from the lair. Once it dies down, Eddie stands up, offering you a delighted series of slow claps as he makes his way towards you.
"That was really good, Shy Girl. I like how you finished your set."
“Aw, thanks Eddie.”
He walks around you.
"Go like this?" Eddie does a stretching motion, lifting his hand up.
You imitate him and reach up.
"Okay, and... turn like this? Then pop your ass out a bit more."
The word rolled off the club owner's tongue like it was nothing. It was done in a way that was professional, a hint of respect in his tone with no sort of ulterior motive.
You swallow hard, attempting to internally tame the goosebumps on rising upon your skin. He’s just giving feedback, he’s just giving feedback. This is a professional line of work.
You do as he says as he circles around you, fingers grazing on the cool floor of the stage just inches away from your thighs. He taps them in thought.
"For a beginner you’re pretty damn good,” he says.
“Yeah?” you look up at him and smile.
“Yeah,” his voice deepens. “You’re a natural. All that shyness just went away.”
Well, it’s about to return, you think to yourself.
“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?”
“Not in this specific setting.”
There’s a slight shift in his eyes as his imagination wanders. The dimples at the side of his mouth concave slightly.
“I gotcha.”
Eddie clears his throat. “So uh, when can you start?”
Today is Wednesday. You have tomorrow, Friday, and the weekend to settle you and Max in and make any last minute stops. Then the appointment with the other loan officer and DMV appointment on Monday. Tuesday afternoons are dry — everywhere so that left the earliest you can start as
"Next Tuesday? In the evening?"
A soft snort escapes from the club owner’s nose.
"Driest night of the week," he comments, looking around his club.
He turns back to you.
"But a good time for orientation. Works for me, Shy Girl. Can I call you that?”
You smirk. “So I got the job?”
He nods.
“Then you can call me what you want,” you smile shaking his hand. “In this case I’m Shy Girl Hargrove.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles. He knows you’re flirting. Eddie accepts your hand and shakes it firmly.
“Eddie. Pleased to formally meet you. And welcome to Hellfire.”
You two exchange contact information for professional purposes before he leaves. You study Eddie as he sees himself out, planting a firm, teasing smack on Lucas’s stomach on his way and whispering something to Jonathan as well.
Your cheerleader from the crowd excitedly makes her way over.
“I know a dancer slash gymnast when I see one,” she chirps. “I’m Chrissy. Stage name is Cherry.”
You two shake hands and exchange further compliments with one another. Your heart swells when you realize you’re slowly starting to find community.
“It’s so nice to meet you.”
Others come and say hello, but you’ve tuned out all the faces because all you can think about is Eddie. His demeanor. The way he carries himself. His presence alone was something so intoxicating that it lingered around the place in his absence.
Your heart flutters.
“Oh, Hargrove!” Jonathan says. “Before you go I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to worry about the drink.”
“Oh?” you respond. “No?”
“Eddie says it’s on the house.”
You smile and Jonathan returns the favor, making sure you see him when he voids your entire tab. As you wave bye to all your spectators, you release a grateful sigh. You felt very humbled about this new, yet unexpected beginning.
The happiness soon wears off when the events that just unfolded dawn on you. Suddenly, the flutter in your heart moves to your stomach, settling in a way that feels eerie. The unknown is pestering you again. Wrong, but oh so right and necessary.
You take in the area around you. You have a place to call home. You’re a stripper now. Your boss just bought your drink. You’re going to have money coming in. Oh, and YOU’RE A STRIPPER NOW.
Then it dawns on you. You need to go shopping.
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confused-wanderer · 1 year
Text
How would Jason react, or even know about Bruce nearly killing the joker?
He doesn’t hear it from Damian, Dick nor Barbara. It’s only when a few years have passed and relations between Bruce and him slowly start cooling that he starts being able to return to the Manor more often without feeling pangs of guilt, longing, nostalgia and overall the Lazarus Pit screaming to be let out.
However, he isn’t dumb. Whenever he complains to Tim about how Tim’s been treated better and loved more than he was, he’s quick to notice how Tim’s jaw tenses, with fingers spastic as if they wanted to curl into fists. Nor does he miss what Tim whispers under his breath twenty minutes later.
If only you knew..
Bruce keeps trying to make amends, tries engaging with him face to face before a few bullets got the message across and he retreated. But Jason could still feel him waiting, hovering, for the signal to light up and let him know he was needed.
He could go to hell though.. Every single time he looked at Bruce he felt safe, followed by fierce anger burning through his veins. He hated that he felt at ease when Bruce entered. Hated that he almost fell back into their old banter. Hated that he missed him. Hated that he still trusted him.
Hated that he still loved him.
One night, after giving Bruce the cold shoulder the entire time and watching in satisfaction as Bruce’s shoulder slumped in defeat, he felt the sudden need to comfort him. He’s the batman, he chided himself. If he could get over your death, he can get over this.
Standing out on the balcony, he never spoke to the presence already there.
“Master Jason..”
“Hey Alfred, it’s pretty cold out you sure you’d be fine?”
“I’ve faced worse winters.”
Jason sighed. That old man always had an air of expectancy around him, just like when he was robin, like a mother waiting for their child to tell them what they did wrong.
“What do you want?”
“I want to know what the bloody hell you think you’re doing?”
That caught Jason’s attention. Hatred and stoic ness quickly melted and all he could do was stare at him in shock.
“Why are you tormenting him?”
“Are you fucking kidding me??-“ “Language master Jason.”
“Alfred. You were there.”
“There was nothing master Bruce could do to save you-”
“I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT ALFRED! He-“
Shoulders slumped, he looked down.
“He replaced me.” Jason whispered. “He didn’t even wait till my body was cold he just fucking went ahead and replaced me. Even after knowing I died, he still put another child in that suit, MY suit! And then, HE DIDNT EVEN AVENGE ME!! He just took Joker back to Arkham, which is basically just like a vacation for him, and LEFT. After all these-”
A shivering cold current of electricity ran through his body and he could feel the Lazarus Pit rising, making his body grow colder by the second.
“After all this time.. he never did anything.” Jason muttered. “So yeah, not only was knowing I was dead for four years a slap to the face.. but to come back home to find another kid in my room and business as usual? As if I never existed? That just made me realise I didn’t matter.”
CLINK
The tea cup in Alfred’s hands was shaking, and a wave of concern overtook Jason. He was about to reach a hand out to steady it when Alfred put the cup down, sighed and looked at the moon.
“Master Bruce never gave Robin to Tim. I did.”
“.. Come again?”
“I gave it to him myself. After you died.. he was a shell of himself. He started pushing himself more, brutalising criminals to the point of hospitalisation. After you died.. a big part of him did too. He refused to be around people, friends, to be happy, to eat. He was punishing himself for your death by refusing to live. And I never forgot you either my boy.. Every night for months I stood by the windows, staying awake and looking outside..hoping to catch a glimpse of you. For the first time in my life I prayed for you to be beaten and bruised, but alive. Locked myself in your room, in your memories, as if standing over your bed was guarding you even in death..Master Bruce missed you so much he played tapes of your missions, just to hear your laugh.”
The older man shook his head and refused to look at him.
“He rejected Tim, but I couldn’t watch him destroy himself. I’d already lost one son..” Alfred paused, looking at Jason with such fondness and pain. “ I wasn’t going to lose another.”
A long pause lingered in the air, and Jason could hear his heart racing as it processed what he’d heard.
“As for Joker,” Jason looked up, and saw the most terrifying scowl he’d ever seen before, with eyes filled with hatred and a craving for retribution.
“Jason Bruce almost killed him too. Like you said, I was there. I was always there. He had chas- hunted Joker down, torturing him slowly and violently until the air was thick with his screams. How every bone was shattered, with so much blood you couldn’t even tell the tiles underneath were white.”
Alfred closed his eyes, and Jason couldn’t help feel that though he was remembering the scene, he was also reveling in it. “His body shattered, smile gone replaced with pain and the howls of misery that he emitted that night.. alas-”
“He didn’t kill him.”
Alfred’s eyes bore into his, and reflected the darkness of the shimmering sky.
“You’re not hearing me. He damn well nearly did. There are things worse than death in this world and Bruce made sure to make Joker feel every single.one. But Superman.. heard him. He heard the roars of fury and grief, and stopped him. All while Bruce stood over the broken body of what once was human. All while muttering your name over and over again, like it was a prayer that kept him grounded. With every hit he took, with every ounce of pain he delivered, he did it with your name on his lips.”
They both just stood there.. shadows in fading moonlight as the noises of life started waking the world with their song.
“Unfortunately, his voice was recorded on one of those surveillance cameras. Tim wiped it, but we kept one copy.. and though the footage is corrupted, the sound is crystal clear.”
Alfred hesitated, before gently cupping Jason’s hands and placing a cold weight on them.
“I hope you never hear it..my boy. I’d rather you burnt it. But if you want to hear the raw truth.. I wanted you to have proof.”
Sunlight burst through the horizon, and with it came the dawn of a new time.
Jason heard the tape as soon as he left.
And burnt it right after.
Alfred was right.
All he had heard were the guttural cries of a broken man..
A father, grieving for his son.
Jason finding out Dick killed joker post:
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idanceuntilidie · 3 months
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Can you do Yan detective x murder reader
(If you want a name which is optional I got a few, Jason,Kyle,Ashton <- [most recommend in my opinion],Frank)
I hope it was okay! Sorry for not posting anything for so long- Had small problems with my mental health and school TW; mentions of death, murders, blood, yandere behaviour, kidnapping, stalking
reader is gn
Yan Detective x Murderer reader Requests open
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The messenger strikes again! Whole group of highschool friends were found dead.... click to find out more!
Ashton bit his thumb as he read another article that night. His tired eyes scanned the painfully flashy site. His co-worker sent him a few of the articles along with this one. For anything that could help him catch the murderer.
Hands shaking and lips pressed into a thin line.
So many people have died recently.
He closed his eyes before getting up and walking to the balcony to smoke. The best stress reliever he had right now. The night was cold. The beautiful once view from his tenement house now covered with ruthless modern architecture. It looked fucking ugly. He took a deep breath in, the smoke burned his throat slightly. It felt nice, he exhaled watching as the gray smoke slowly dissolved in the air.  The case he decided to take seemed simple. It started with one person. Judy Millers. Very pretty young adult, she came from a wealthy family. Ashton actually knew her, back in the day they went to high school. 
A queen bee. He was lucky enough not to get crushed by her. People loved her despite her being an absolute asshole. Judy looked like she was dragged out of some highschool drama. Wealthy, pretty and known for being a bitch.
Her father found her dead in her bathroom. Ashton remembers that night so clearly, when he walked into the bathroom the stench of blood and death overwhelmed his senses. Eyes watering. 
Judy was in more than a bad shape, he could barely recognize her. Face slashed,he could see parts of the bone. She was naked, and the girl was gutted like a pig. Homicide. His eyes darted to the wall behind her head.
“It’s not so funny now is it?” That’s how the murderer got their name, messenger, it sounded slightly stupid but it was a name nonetheless. After Judy, the messenger killed more and more people. Oddly enough they were all from his old high school.
He swore to the father that he will solve the case, but months passed and he still hasn't caught the killer.
Suddenly he heard the door open. Someone walked into his apartment, they were slowly approaching him. He didn’t move, but a smile appeared on his lips. Wide, unnatural he waited as the person behind him got closer. Slowly the person wrapped their hands around his waist. The stench of blood hit his nose in an instant.
They whine. He chuckled as he threw away the cigarette. “Someone got to them before me, can you believe it?” Their voice was rough, but oh so beautiful. It made Ashtons heart burn.
“Oh, oh my love I’m so sorry.” He turned around to hug them back, kissing their head. It was messy, the blood started to already dry out.
“You should take a bath y/n, the blood will be hard to get out, huh?” They nodded, smiling at him before dragging their body to the bathroom. He watched them disappear behind the doorway. He must admit, you look hot in bloody red.
Truth to be told, he found the killer or well the killer found him. After a few of the murders, he decided the question the people who went to the same highschool and were still alive. 
You were the last person on the list, and man when he saw you again after all these years the feelings hit him back. You looked like a wreck, dark circles under your eyes and he swore you had the smell of death on you. Man, even after all these years you were so so lovely. He had fallen for you again.
From then on he started to watch you, even getting to your house. It was full of evidence, and plans to kill everyone who bullied you over the years. He saw the photo of judy with huge X and knife plunged into the middle of her face. He admits he might have got off to the smell of blood on your clothes.
You were the messenger, and he was so sure but he didn’t give you away. Hell, he planned to steal you away actually.
He might have killed a few people along the way, mostly co workers. 
Some got too close, some asked too many questions. He couldn’t share you. He couldn’t share his case. You were his, you were his to understand. To solve. To catch.
He watched you kill some of the people on your list, dreamily sighing as he watched you laugh maniacally as you did. You almost died once, not expecting the victims friend coming back early you didn’t notice them slowly creeping on you with a knife. You were oh so lucky he was near. He saved the day, successfully killing that fucker only to find you were nowhere to be seen. He felt so disappointed. He didn’t even get a chance to even talk to you. Then he found a small gift. A single finger and bloody message.
Every week he got a small body part, along with some threatening messages, but in Ashtons mind, those very love letters. He cherished them.
Then you got into his house, full of rage, bloody, ready to kill him. He didn’t fight you, you looked so beautiful. His heart rammed in his chest as you were ready to stab him. His hands grabbed your face and he kissed you. You bit his tongue and blood filled his mouth. It was so romantic. Let’s say you didn’t leave the house for a good year after that. He kept you in his bedroom for a whole year, finally he had you.
You suffered a whole year, in his grip, answered his questions with a wide smile, describing the murders he already witnessed. Music to his ears. He made his love known, he killed the rest of your victims and brought you their hearts. He watched as you ripped them apart.
After that one year, you fell for him too, and that’s how both of you got to this point, and he knew, you won’t leave him.
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angstflayer-council · 8 months
Text
July Drabble #10- Moving Day
“We’re moving!” Eddie says, spreading his arms wide in greeting as Steve steps out of his car at the Munson trailer that day.
“Yeah I figured. ‘Cause of the U-haul in front of me.” Steve snarks back with a smirk.
“Oh yeah…Well, better get at it, we’ve got a whole trailer of mugs to wrap up and pack up.” Eddie claps his hands together once, then starts taking off the jean jacket he had on.
“You excited about movin’ to a new plac–whoa, whoa! What’re you doing dumbass, you’ll freeze!” 
Eddie rolls his eyes, “Steve, darling, it’s 54 out here and we’re going to be hauling boxes….”
He probably says more, but that’s all Steve heard because Eddie’s arms are now free. Free and toned.
“...Steve!”
“Huh? What–whatever Eds, let’s get crackin’ on this. Just don’t complain to me when you get cold.”
Steve jumps up the steps onto the Munsons’ porch and opens the door, holding it for Eddie to come in after him, but-
“What’re you still standing down there for? You comin’ in or what?”
Eddie stares at him for a second longer with that confused expression, then smirks slowly and struts up the same two steps. 
“Such a gentleman,” he says as he passes Steve, trailing one burning hot finger across his chest as he does.
‘Holy shit, oh fuck, okay, okay, you can do this, Steve. You’ve survived him flirting before, you can do it again.’ Steve hypes himself up while closing the door behind him. ‘Just hope he doesn’t also put his hair up, and you’ll be fi–’
The sight of Eddie pulling his hair up into a bun nearly sends Steve to the floor. He manages to catch himself on the back of one of the chairs at the little table to his left, but only barely.
“Oh shit, you alright, Steve?” Eddie moves to help him stand, but Steve stops him short.
“Nope, nope. Stay there, just–” he keeps his hand up, “Eddie, I swear you’re gonna be the death of me.”
“Me?” Eddie huffs out a nervous chuckle “What do you mea–”
Okay, this is happening. “You’re so goddamn perfect, Eddie. I can’t stand it, you’re like, actually affecting my ability to function and if I don’t get my shit together now, I’m gonna wanna kiss your stupid pretty face, and if I do that,” Steve stands straight, finally taking in Eddie’s shocked expression, “I’m gonna want to pick you up, take you down the hall, and have my way with you.”
Eddie’s responding “Yes!” bursts out of him the millisecond Steve’s done talking. “Yes, yep, definitely would rather do that than pack.”
Steve blinks once, taking in Eddie’s perfectly flushed face, and snatches him up.
Eddie’s legs wrap around his waist immediately, his lips on Steve’s in the exact same moment. 
Ten seconds later, Eddie’s back is pressed into the hallway closet door. 
And at 30, three half-packed boxes are shoved off Eddie’s mattress and Steve does exactly as promised.
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kumori-suwan · 2 years
Text
Batboy Headcannons: Romantic Troupes
Featuring: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damian Wayne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sworn off Relationships with Dick Grayson
You had to put up your walls in order to keep yourself sane, time and time again your heart had been bruised, beaten, and dragged through the mud. You loved your teammates and fellow heroes so much but you just couldn’t seem to let anyone love you back. Then came Nightwing, the detective, the smooth talker, the playboy, you were unsure how to handle him but you knew you had to stick to your plan. Dick doesn’t let that happen, he’s patient, knows how delicate a woman’s heart is, and so he slowly picks away at your toughened walls and waits until you’re ready.
He learned all he could about you, each and every day he saw you he’d pay close attention to you and remember the important details. Naturally it was only a matter of time until he was apart of your everyday life. You’d miss him if he wasn’t nearby, you’d miss him if he didn’t offer his daily complement or praise, and he missed seeing the sweet smile and blush you tried so hard to hide.
“Morning gorgeous, brought your favorite from Starbucks.”, he’d hum leaving your macchiato next to you while you focused on details for your latest mission.
Behind his domino mask he notices the way you look at the cup and back at him, he notices the way your shoulders relax and how your cheeks raise ever so slightly as you smile. After months of waiting he was given a sign that there was a chance, you turned around and pecked his cheek thanking him for the much needed caffeine, “Thanks Blue.”, you hummed.
Your eyes returned to the screen to hide your flushed cheeks, and behind you Dick couldn’t help but smile and cup the cheek you’d just kissed. Your lips left such a warm sensation that he instantly became addicted, he smiled at the gesture and the new nickname as he joined you to help you out. It was a slow burn of a wait but at least now he could be by your side and love you because now you were finally giving him a chance.
“Soooooooo does this mean I get to take you on a date yet?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enemies to Lovers with Jason Todd
He still remembers the first night you met, when you cracked his Red Hood and knocked the air out of him with two swift powerful kicks, and how you pulled off your mask to smile down at him as you robbed the bank and his favorite guns. You were a mischievous little villain and Jason made it his mission to catch you and put you behind bars. Every night he’d search for you, sometimes you’d appear, sometimes you didn’t but always you seemed to light up whenever Red Hood appeared to attempt catching you again.
You were elusive, a real escape artist and it pissed Jason off so much he actually contemplated asking the Bat Family for help. You’d play with him like a lioness plays with a baby gazelle, you’d throw snide comments, play the captured victim and escape at the last minute, and smile at him with an all to confident look.
“I’m gonna fucking get you one day I hope you know!”, he growled behind his mask, noticing his stolen gun in a holster against your thigh.
“Do you mean me or your little water gun?”, you giggled escaping from him once again.
Overtime your game of cat and mouse became something else, Jason still considered you a villain but he learned what and who you were. You were just a sweet woman born into the ugliest darkness Gotham City could offer. All your spoils were given to some mob boss that your family owed so much money too, your mother had been killed and your little brother was at Death’s door because of an illness you were trying to help afford. Your mischievousness and snide remarks were just cries for help and with the feelings he’d developed for you he’d make sure he’d save you. Now here you were pointing his gun at him, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, as the mobster screamed for you to shoot. You couldn’t see the calm expression behind his mask, but Jason knew you wouldn’t be able to pull the trigger.
“Hey Doll, put down the water gun.”, he hummed softly.
Your hands began to shake, tears began to blind your vision, “Please shoot me. I don’t want to do this.”, you sobbed.
Red Hood shook his head, he took another step towards you, readying something in his hand for the men behind you. “Come here Love. Just let me catch you, just for tonight.”, he whispered opening his arms to you.
“I said fucking shoot him! Do it or I’ll kill your kid brother!”, your boss screamed.
You choked on your sobs, closing your eyes and readying yourself to pull the trigger. That’s when you felt it, you felt his arm wrap around your waist holding you close and heard the screams of the men running away behind you. You were lifted off the ground and carried away behind some huge crates as an explosion went off, the whole building shook but when you finally opened your eyes all you could see was the red bat symbol on his chest. His arm wrapped around your waist and his free hand holding your head to his chest while he shielded you from debris.
“You’re okay Princess, I’ve got you.”
You felt safe, you were saved by him, by the man you’d fallen for over the past few months. You sighed, letting your tears fall while you listened to his heart beat.
“You can take me to jail now.”
“Hope you like my apartment then, I’m not letting you go now that I’ve got you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Work Colleagues with Tim Drake
Being a leader for Wayne Enterprise was never an easy task, especially with College and Hero Duties back to back. Bruce noticed how much it was starting to effect Tim’s performance so he decided to hire someone to help him. A partner that could work just as well as him and that had the same intellect as him, that’s when you appeared. Your proven yourself to Bruce during your interview and now here you are, sitting at Tim’s computer going over the sales revenue charts he just can’t seem to balance out.
“Umm…who are you?”
You stare up from the screen to see Tim, eye bags dark, face pale from lack of sleep, and appearance messy.
“You look like you just woke up Mr. Drake, here I brought your favorite from the coffee shop. My name’s (Y/n), I’ll be your partner from here on out. Nice to meet you.”, you smiled, standing and offering Tim his fresh espresso.
Tim grows fond of you real quick, admiring how patient and capable you are, you help him through his hardest project and help build relationships with new partners and clients in no time. Tim looks forward to seeing you every day even when you nag at him like a worried mother since he isn’t taking care of himself. Over time you become work husband and wife often teasing each other or spoiling one another, it becomes so normal that Tim wishes that it was just official at this point.
Then one day he comes to work, fully rested and freshly showered to see you not in the office. He’s worried almost instantly and starts looking for you instead of starting his oh so important project.
“Mr. Drake what’s the matter?”
“Have you seen (y/n) anywhere?”, Tim asked still looking through the halls, “Have you seen her?”
Your friend immediately knows how to answer the worried man, “Oh she got sick. She’s at home resting right now, sorry to worry you I thought I’d sent you the email telling you.”
Without hesitation Tim walks away to clock out and heads to your apartment immediately. Taking food, medicine, his video game consoles, and all your favorite books, completely prepared to nurse you back to health. You’d always been there to support him and help him through his tough times so now he wanted to return the favor, he couldn’t go a day without seeing you and he hoped you’d feel the same when you opened your door in just short pj shorts and a Red Robin fan shirt that was way to big and way to baggy on you. Seeing you like this, so unprofessional and so real made him fall even more in love with you.
“I-I got the day off, mind if I spend it with you?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Person Love Triangle with Damian Wayne
Is it cheating if a super hero has fallen for you? The other day you were saved by Robin during a bank robbery at your father’s bank, and the way he held you close and praised your bravery was just so mind numbingly sweet, he made your heart skip a beat but you were already in love with another! Your high school crush, the handsomest bachelor of your generation, Damian Wayne had asked you to be his. He loved you dearly, worried for you constantly, and always made sure to take care of you but what should you do? It was almost a ritual now, every night Robin seemed to be watching over you, taking you home from work, or just showing up on your window sill to wish you good night.
“Habibti is something on your mind?”, Damian asked, thumb gently swiping some whip cream off your cheek.
You focused on him and smiled, “Yes dear I’m alright. Sorry I’m just stressed about midterms.”
You got a message from your father that he was outside waiting for you, you sighed and finished your milk shake before standing up. “Thank you for tonight Dami, you’re far to good to me. Good night my love please text me when you get home.”, you hummed kissing his lips ever so softly as you prepared to leave.
He hummed against your lips, his own curling into a soft smile as you pulled away. Your father drove you home and there you found yourself falling asleep on the couch watching TV, you’d wake up a bit later to knocking on your balcony door. You were the only one home but you knew who it was by the knock, you opened the door to see that familiar green mask and black hooded cape.
“You really need to find a hobby beside bothering me at night.”, you teased zipping up your jacket to hide your exposed chest.
“Nice outfit, seems a little to big on you though.”
You glared at him and punched his arm playfully, “It’s my boyfriend’s, said it was to small for him so he gave it to me since I kept stealing it.”
You stared up at the young hero before you and sighed, “Look…you really shouldn’t be bothering with me. I’m not playing this game with you anymore, I’m grateful you saved me and that you’re looking out for me but I have a boyfriend that I really love a lot. I can’t be chasing after some stupid fleeting feelings I have for you especially since I have no idea who you are.”
He glared at you, lips curling into a small smile, “Really Habibti? How could you say something so mean to me?”, he hummed watching your face melt into shock at the sound of your nickname.
Your stared up at him, he pulled his mask off and took down his hood showing you the all to familiar face you loved so much. Damian expected you to be shocked but you were more embarrassed than anything, your face heated up from ear to ear, lips curling into a wobbly pout as the subtle clues from before started to replay in your head.
“Surprise.”, he chuckled kissing your warm cheek.
“That is so not cool. How dare you make me fall head over heels for you twice!”, you growled, “Wait…holy shit my boyfriend is Robin…oh my god.”
Damian watched your shock come back to you and smiled as he picked you up and carried you inside , he needed a break from patrol and now that you knew his secret he had a lot of explaining to do anyways.
“So you fell for me twice eh?”
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