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#i hope whatever you're going through eases up soon and that you're able to stay strong and keep your head up until then
diagonal-queen · 1 year
Note
can i request first kiss with tetcho and anyone else you want? ^^
yes you certainly can my love!!
Their first kiss with you
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♡ pairing: Tecchou Suehiro, Atsushi Nakajima, Oda Sakunosuke, Lucy Montgomery x gn!Reader
♡ synopsis: Your first kiss with them!
♡ cw: Very slight implications of NSFW in Tecchou's part, but otherwise pure fluff :)
note: Well, this took far too long. I'm sorry anon T-T fortunately I am starting to catch up with most of my reqs, so hopefully I'll be able to open reqs again soon! (for clarification I'm currently completing ones I received before closing my requests) Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
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Tecchou:
Offbeat as he is, he's secretly so serious about it. He's crazy adamant on not messing this moment up lol
He initially intended to make it fun and fancy, like take you out to some restaurant and make it all romantic (that's probably what the other Hunting Dogs suggested), but in reality you're both just sitting on the couch at your place together playing video games and eating pizza and other random snacks
Your relationship was progressing steadily but Tecchou wanted to make the next big move, so he wanted to kiss you while he was spending the night with you (and possibly do other things idk)
You guys were currently watching a movie (it can be whatever film you want) and Tecchou just keeps thinking about kissing you. He's even more aloof than usual and you do eventually notice it.
When you decide to ask him if something's wrong, he turns to you and asks "Is it alright if I kiss you?" Tecchou's always been a very direct person after all!
You pause out of shock for a second or two, but you quickly tell him that you'd be more than happy if he kissed you.
So, Tecchou does kiss you after gently caressing your cheek. He's a surprisingly soft and gentle kisser. You two end up making out for a while and ignoring the movie lol
Perhaps the casual staying-in date was a better setting for your first kiss with him after all ^-^
Atsushi:
You've never seen him so nervous in your life
Throughout your whole date you were already aware that he was planning to end it with your first kiss (poor thing is too obvious) but you didn't say anything because you didn't wanna embarrass him.
He tries to keep the mood at ease but he's just so clearly trying to build up his courage to do it so it's kinda hard to be normal with him without giving away the fact that you're in the know.
The date is the two of you going out to eat one evening (perhaps at a diner of some sort), and then wandering around the port together and admiring the environment (city lights are quite romantic, after all)
You two are sitting at a bench near the sea, it's comfortably quiet between the two of you, but you know Atsushi is still trying to figure out how to approach this
Eventually you decide enough is enough and just do it for him. You grab his attention, pull him in and kiss him. He short circuits and when you pull away is speechless, and his face is also so pink. It's honestly super cute
But when you kiss him again he's less shocked, and so he kisses back. And, what do you know, he's great at it! If you could, you would make out with Atsushi for hours.
"I've been wanting to do that for the longest time," he breathes, after you two pull apart for air. And that's hot, my friends. Only cowards would deny it 😌
Oda:
You two usually spent your dates in places that most people wouldn't really consider romantic (eg. Bar Lupin, just strolling through the danker streets of Yokohama, sitting in your car in a parking lot somewhere (it's an aesthetic guys))
On these dates you two tend to have conversations about life, philosophy, literature and other stuff like that.
You and Oda are sitting side by side, and he's watching you with this lovestruck look on his face while you're talking about something you're passionate about.
When you notice, you ask him what the matter is, to which he simply smiles and tells you that you look adorable.
As if that wasn't enough he then adds "To be honest, I'd really like to kiss you." Cue your short circuiting, and Odasaku's chuckling while he watches this.
Eventually though you tell him that you really wouldn't mind that, and so he slowly leans in and presses his lips to yours. Afterwards he tells you that you taste sweeter than he could have imagined, and he'll also kiss your hand like the gentleman he is
Whether or not you continue really depends whether or not you're in private or public, so you can either go back to talking or you can just make out with him (he's more than happy to do both)
On the surface your first kiss with Oda seems casual enough but you're both reeling with butterflies afterwards (help I want him so bad)
Lucy:
She kinda drags it out for a while. Lucy really wants to kiss you, but she's too afraid to admit that to you, but she also doesn't wanna kiss you out of nowhere because that's rude. She doesn't know what to do
You and Lucy would have super cute dates- cafe visits, walks in the park, classic romantic stuff. She's very cute and old school like that
This particular date is a picnic, like on a summer afternoon in the park. Often Lucy is a bit of a chatterbox and loves to converse with you but today she's a little quiet.
You ask her if she's alright because she's also eating less than normal, and with a blush she insists that she's fine and tells you to enjoy yourself.
You try to brush it off and the date continues all fine and well, but when comes the time to eat the cake that she brought, she offers to feed it to you. She's so clearly nervous while doing this, even though it's not the first time she's fed you
Once you both finish eating she takes a breath and finally blurts out "Can I kiss you?"
When it clicks that this is why she's been nervous the whole time you start laughing and she gets mad at you (though she's just a little embarrassed is all)
You tell her that of course she can kiss you, and so she does (with a huge blush on her face lol). And she tastes like strawberries <3
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man it's been so long since i kissed someone...or had physical contact with another human being in any capacity...i'm not coping well guys T-T
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genderqueerdykes · 1 year
Note
TW: MENTIONS OF PERIOD
Hi, does anybody know why gender dysphoria increases the week before periods start?
I can't figure out why and this is driving me mad because I'm feeling very dysphoric rn (my period should come next week).
-a trans boy-
i know a lot of people who experience this and i don't know if there's any concrete solution other than in the week before your period, your body is going through a ridiculous amount of hormone production, in order to be able to build up the lining of your uterus and so on. even though you're not on your period yet, you're still experiencing massive hormonal fluctuations, both androgens and estrogen!, and i think that can cause a lot of people to feel really unstable and unlike themselves
your body is going through a lot at that time and it puts a lot of stress on your mind. i know a lot of people get sore breasts in the week leading up to their period, which can be due to increased estrogen production, which can lead to you feeling more dysphoric under the hood without necessarily being made aware of exactly what's going on. you're not really sitting at your "baseline" of hormones around that time, there's so much fluctuating going on, it can feel very chaotic to experience
that's the information i've been able to gather over the years, talking to other trans guys/ transmascs, and i noticed that if you are able to start T or a medication like birth control or other meds that help decrease your period, those instances of chaotic uncomfortable dysphoria are decreased significantly. i really do believe it has to do with the ridiculous amount of hormone production your body is going through at that time, it can affect us in so many ways.
i hope you're able to find a way to get thru it a bit easier. if you have to be more aggressive with your gender affirming care, like having to go out of your way to make yourself feel like a guy, aggressively calling yourself a guy and reminding yourself that boys and men can and do get their periods, it's okay. it's okay if you have to do whatever you can to ease that dysphoria. i hope it eases up for u soon, take care, good luck in your journey, stay safe
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batstorm93672 · 1 year
Text
"THIS ISN'T FAIR!"
Robin ripped off his mask, slamming his fists against the ground, tears falling down his face.
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!"
They always leave me to rot! I hate it! Mother, father, Pennyworth, Richard, Timothy, Stephanie, Jason, Cassandra, Duke, Jonathan... EVERYONE!
"WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME?! WHY ARE YOU GETTING RID OF ME?! REPLACING ME YET AGAIN?!"
Why am I always alone!? I want to be happy... why do I have to choose? Why... does every choice lead me to be alone? I chose father, mother leaves. I chose to be Robin, I'm cloned and that one is better in every way. I chose to live as I wanted to with my family, I'm killed!
"It's not fair... time and time over again I'm left alone and forgotten. Replaced. Abandoned... why do you all leave me like this? I've changed... I'll be better. Please... stay, I'll prove it. I'll prove that you can still keep me around"
Damian couldn't stop his tears. Why does he always have to be like this? Why does he have to be alone?
.
Jason watched over Damian, he kept mumbling in his sleep. Jason can't intervene. Damian's emotional fear was used as a weapon, well that's what the meta said when she cursed him. Now Damian was asleep, he would have to break out of his own nightmares. Any attempts to force him awake will result in horrible pain in and out of the nightmare.
It was Jason's turn to watch for a few hours. Then Dick will go next, Bruce and Tim were out searching for the meta.
"Being trapped in a nightmare facing your biggest fear in the inside... that has to be horrible to feel. You feel that there is no way out, no hope... I'm sorry you have to go through this Dami"
.
"I just want to be happy... I just want my family to stay" Damian's voice broke with every word as he was on his knees, looking up at the darkness that wouldn't end. "I'm alone. I want my family, why did you all leave me..?"
I love them... do they not love me? It's my fault they leave everytime... I'll change. I'll be what you want, whatever it takes I'll do it. Just as long as you don't end up leaving me, I'll do whatever I have to.
.
Dick watched as Damian kept losing every day, his willpower was weakening. The meta said, if woken up by force than terrible consequences will follow. If he doesn't get up anytime soon... then Damian... would die.
"Come on baby, wake up for us, for yourself. We need you to stay"
.
"Why're leaving me alone, every single one of you... I want my family back, please come back to me"
alone
again
I'm...
scared
I don't want to be alone
all alone and forgotten
replaced for a better version to which I'll forever be wiped from the minds of others
Damian closed his eyes, sinking down in the dark with no one here to save him.
.
"GUYS DAMIAN ISN'T BREATHING! THERE'S NO PULSE!"
.
Farther down Damian goes... alone...
stay
Why would you want that..?
don't leave us
I'm alone
don't leave us like this
we love you
No one wants me anymore...
please stay with us
come back to us, we can't lose you like this
Why am I... falling like this? Why am I letting myself go? I'm strong, why am I giving up so easily? No, I can't give up! I don't want to!
Stay!
Richard? Is that you? I-I don't want to go!
Come on, not now you can't go now
I don't want to go! I want to stay! Please! I don't think I can do this alone!
Stay with us
I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL!
PLEASE!
~
Damian's shout of alarm was strained as he opened his eyes, instantly regretting it as light blinded him. Finally able to adjust, his breathing was slow and he reopened his eyes. "...pl...pl-l-ease"
"Oh my god"
"You're alive!"
"We thought we lost you"
Damian screamed as he sobbed Dick hugged Damian, running his hand through his hair. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. You're okay baby"
"Pl... e-ease..."
Jason placed his hand on Damian's knee "What is it?" "Please don't leave me..." "We won't, it's okay" Damian moved his leg away from Jason and then shoved Dick away from him "No... no it's not okay. It's never okay! Don't touch me..."
Damian held himself, avoiding all touch of another.
What did he see?
What hurt him so badly?
Being alone, yet he didn't want contact as of now.
A neverending spiral of loneliness that he trapped himself in.
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imcobaltastronomer · 9 months
Text
The last dawn before twilight pt8
Notes: LinkxReader, angst, reader is preg with twi, femreader, sad, injured Time, blood
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Things were finally happy, this uprising looming over your head seemed to have vanished and you could enjoy the last few months ahead. You'd been told to relax and not worry about the herd as the others pitched in for you, though you still went over to the paddock to visit the goats each day. "There you are I've been looking for you" You heard Link call to you, "What's the problem?" You ask, "There's no problem I just wanted to be with you" He awkwardly said, "You mean keeping tabs on me out of fear" You reply as he nodded ashamed. "I'm glad though, but I'm fine" You reminded him. As he held you the child kicked hard, harder than the other few times before, "Don't hurt your mother" He cooed with a gentle hand to your stomach, "It's telling you to stop being so clingy" You laughed before he wandered off leaving you be.
After some time with the goats something felt off, not within yourself but the atmosphere, the feeling of dread grew worse. You rushed as fast as you could to the main hub of Ordon where Hylian knights were gathering, "What's happening... Tell me" You shout in fear. "The uprising is happening now I have to stop it" Link said in a hurry, he was in the elaborate armour he showed you on your wedding keeping the golden wolf skin attached as part of it now. "You can't leave I'll be due in a few months" You tried to reason, "Y/N I don't have any choice in this and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am... Nobody else can put this evil away you know that" His words stung as you begged at his feet to stay. "I'm going to end this before the child is due please trust me Y/N" He choked back tears now leaving the village, hearing you breaking down hurt more than any injury he ever had.
Rusl helped you back on your feet and made sure you were alright as the village went into lockdown, he kept you company taking you to your goats to put your mind at ease and let you cry. "All this will be over fast, he's talented at fighting..." He reasoned as you calmed down, "You're right but I'm scared" You say watching the herd eat as if nothing was happening. "I know... Just trust me" Rusl comforted you bringing your favorite goat over. "I have to check on things, I trust the goats will look after you" He said before leaving. You didn't know what to do other than pray your distress wasn't harming the child and hoping that everything would be over soon, the sky was ominous towards the border, an unnatural darkness was looming, creeping slowly to Ordon. You could have been able to defend your home if it weren't for your condition but nobody could have seen this happen at the start. You spent the day reminding yourself it wasn't your fault, each day you waited and waited, the sky grew darker each day followed by tremors.
During the night, one month and two weeks after the uprising you woke to the sound of a horse trotting then followed by a loud thump on the ground, slowly getting up to see what it was. "Y/N clear the table now" Rusl yelled coming through your door carrying someone covered in blood. You shove everything to the side as he placed the injured person down, your heart sank when you recognized who it was, it was Link
He was barely recognizable as the blood smeared all over his body covered all his features, you grabbed whatever you could to clean the wounds you could see as Rusl managed to get all the armour off now revealing the extent of the injuries. Deep gashes and bruises you stared in shock at, it took the whole night to clean each cut and stitching the deep ones shut. Your bed had been moved downstairs as climbing the ladder up was growing too difficult, "I'll get him comfortable, you sort that horse of his out it's still pacing around out there" Rusl said quietly now as things calmed down. The others were outside now trying to soothe the mare as she bucked and kicked, "Hey girl you're scared aren't you?" You softly called to Epona, she began to calm down noticing your voice. "You're okay now, thankyou for taking Link here" You reply to the mare's huffs, she pressed her nose to your stomach then raising her head to yours, looking deeply at you as if she was trying to say something before calmly walking off towards the paddock. You tried explaining all you knew of what was happening to the concerned village.
By the time you went back inside you saw the bloodied mess your table was, Rusl was trying to scrub the blood out of it but it had already seeped in, "I can get another table, it's okay" You try comforting him, "This one's so nice though... I'm sorry" He replied, "It's just a table. Besides do you think he'll survive?" You ask seeing how much blood Link had lost and how his entire body was now wrapped in bandages. "I have no idea what's out there that could do this level of damage but he's fine, still breathing and not bleeding anymore" Rusl said placing the now red dishcloth down, "Sleep at my place tonight, I'll watch over him. You need rest" He wiped himself off and gave you a gentle hug as you left.
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okimargarvez · 1 year
Text
THE GOOD AND THE RIGHT
Original title: The good and the right
Prompt: what if after 16x6.
Warning: spoiler for 16x6.
Genre: romantic, angst.
Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, JJ, Tyler Green (mentioned).
Pairing: Garvez.
Note: oneshot 85 in Garvez collection.
Legend: 💏😘. Song mentioned: Addio mio amore, Tiziano Ferro.
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GARVEZ STORIES
Note: this is dedicated to @thinitta. I know that my opinion about Tyler is unpopular, right now, but I don't hate him. He can't be the reason to not get garvez. Our ship is stronger than that. I want to inform you on this, because it reflects on the story, obviously. But don't worry, Tyler is just a name, here.
THE GOOD AND THE RIGHT
I wish someone would explain to me why good intentions can so easily result in complete disasters. I messed all up, but for real, this time. I only realized it when I got back to my apartment and found Tyler waiting for me... Inside my bed. He was awake, he was smiling. I managed to avoid his kiss I don't even know how. I told him I was tired, one of the most banal excuses ever, but in reality, it was partially the truth, because in one day I experienced too many emotions. The fear for JJ and Luke, being emotional support for Tyler, looking after both him and the case…
It was nice to feel understood, deeply understood, but it doesn't justify what happened. I just... I didn't think at the time, it just seemed like the right thing to do to keep him on the straight and narrow. Probably losing myself, meanwhile.
Too bad that something even more terrible happened right during the kiss. Well, it depends on your point of view. I thought it could be Luke. And it's not completely absurd, because he tried to do the same, three years ago, during our first and only date. But I ran away, like I did with Tyler the first time. And I told Luke that I understood that it would be better to stay friends, because I didn't feel ready for a relationship, I was going through too many changes and... That's it. That time too it was half a lie, half a truth. Luke made an effort to sound sympathetic and less pained than he actually was. But I saw it through his eyes. Still, it didn't change my mind.
Luke... I felt his gaze on me throughout the discussion. He's not stupid, he sensed something, surely that the noise was neither feline nor Bigfoot. When I left I avoided him like a plague victim. But he had made a joke, asking me if Sergio was still hungry and I couldn't lie to him again.
Now I'm in my former office. I managed to dodge the others, arriving very early. Especially him... Because I know his schedule perfectly and how I wish it weren't like that. Now he must be taking a shower, after his usual morning run, alone. Roxy is getting old, and he struggles every day with the fear of losing her. I feel an excruciating pain in my chest, so I force myself to think of something else, but there's no way, my mind always goes there.
Oh Luke, if only I were less of a coward... You deserve better, a more normal, more stable person who can make you feel at ease, if not happy. Someone that may it not add anxieties to the ones you already fight against on a daily basis.
At least it helped me to understand that I will never get over it. Whatever may happen. I will never stop being in love with Luke Alvez, but I will never be able to love him. Because falling in love and love are not the same thing at all. The first one just happens, there's nothing you can do about it, your head in the clouds, you're acting like an idiot. While for the second you have to work hard, put a lot of effort into it. And you have to see each other as real people, jumbles of flaws and not as gods come down to earth.
Someone knocks on my door. I pray it's not him. It can't be him. It's too soon for anyone. And Tyler? But no, I forbid him to be seen. But... I sigh and turn towards the door. -Come in.- I shout, but my voice trembles. I hope whoever is walking in now doesn't notice, but considering it's probably a profiler… I swivel my chair back to the opposite position, my back to the newcomer.
-Hey, Garcia.- my lungs relax for a moment, recognizing the voice, but then I realize I'm actually not out of danger at all. She knows so much…though nothing about my date with Luke. We have mutually agreed (more or less) to not inform the team. It would only lead to heavy doses of embarrassment. She grabs a chair and sets it next to mine. Ouch, it doesn't bode well.
I just take a look at her. -How can I help you, my young friend?- I pretend an enthusiasm that I don't feel at all and naturally she realizes it.
She giggles. -Not so young.- she touches her head and grimaces. -I don't know how long it will take me to fully recover.- I nod. It's so easy to forget what happened just two days ago. In a normal situation they should both stay at home, to rest, to recover. They deserve it. Luke could be spending time with Roxy and…damn it! JJ seems to read both in my eyes and in the pause that weighs between us. -Are you okay?- she takes my hand, looks at me like that and I know I'm screwed. But maybe that was what I wanted too. Let off steam. Free me. And, despite this, I would never have taken the initiative.
I take a breath, once, twice. -Not really.- I show off one of my pre-delusional smiles. She settles better, sensing what is about to happen. -Where do I start?- I ask perhaps more to myself. -Here, at my farewell party, three years ago... you know that I danced almost the whole evening with... Luke?- I swallow to force myself to pronounce that name, which now takes on precise nuances. She nods, but her pupils are already shining. -Before... before our talks he took me aside for a moment and he... asked me out.- she opens her eyes and mouth wide and barely refrains from replying, perhaps fearing that if she interrupted me I would no longer be able to continue and I would have seized the chance. -Well, we went out together…- it's the coup de grace.
-What?!- she squeezes my hands tightly and hugs me. I just hope she doesn't expect I'm about to tell her things like I'm pregnant or that we were been secretely together for past three years. -And you didn't say anything to anyone! To me!- she sounds offended, but in a joking way. -I want all the details, we have to do a girls' night and…- but then she notices my expression, not at all joyful. -Don't tell me you're only telling me now because you two broke up.- I shake my head.
-No. Because we've never been together.- JJ's glance is enough to realize how much she had hoped for us, and not just to laugh at our mutual attitude, jokes and teasing each other. And the others, who knows what they think. She seems unable to conceive that it didn't work out between us.
-But… but…- she stammers. -Why?- she asks the only question that should make sense.
-I… I don't know, it was my fault. I was so happy when he asked me, but then, when I got home, after saying goodbye, I mean the next day… I had a panic attack, a strong, paralyzing one. You know I don't like changes, but it's not just that, it's that…- I shake her hand, looking for the strength I don't feel. -I'm scared, absolutely terrified, of Luke.- she struggles to believe even this statement and I don't know how to explain myself better. -I'm in love with him.- I admit, brutally. -And I'm afraid that if I let myself go completely... and then it goes wrong... I won't be able to get out of it alive, like with Kevin.- I conclude, at least in part, waiting for the reproaches.
-Penelope!- she exclaims, but above all I hear a sweet pain in her voice. -That man could never hurt you, he practically kisses the ground you walk on!- hearing it say from another person is an absurd experience, because it makes everything extremely real and not just vague fantasies based on too many looks . -Seriously, Luke has been in love with you since... well, from the beginning, I think and, I don't know what happened during your date, but... he didn't get over it. If possible, it's even worse. You notice how he looks at you, right? And now I understand why, since you've been back, his attitude seems like a constant courtship. He no longer has reasons to hide.- I nod, biting my lips.
-But this was only the prelude…-she takes the head in her hands, signaling me to continue. Luckily, we both arrived ahead of schedule.
-
And we walk, we walk, with the dull sun and the fire in my face and if I answered you now, with my threatening love, nothing would be left of you, perhaps two tears and then dust and then the most ruthless emptiness, which I have tolerated until now
I lost her. That song keeps telling me, I can't get rid of. And I don't even know where the hell I first heard it. Maybe I made it up, maybe it's a consequence of the head trauma from being blown up. Pain in ribs and arm weren't enough. But I would bear any suffering, if I could have her in my arms again, perhaps without JJ, however much I love her too. It would be better not to think about it, because it only adds pain to pain, but I cannot continue down this path.
I need to know if I've got it right or if I've just made a mind trip. Why didn't she want to say who she was with when she had that brilliant insight? Why was it about Tyler Green's sister and why hadn't she shared that information about her with us? Unless she had just acquired it… from a... personal source. But if it was just that, if she just talked to that guy again… no, something in her manner, in her eyes, told me there was so much more at stake. And considering the weird noise we heard, decidedly masculine…
I have to say it, at least mentally. She was almost certainly with Green. At her apartment. And then they walked out, ended up right where Alison worked, and Garcia's lightbulb went on. I'm forced to think of her by her last name, because her name makes me think of the woman I'm in love with and that I hoped so much she could reciprocate me even just 10%. I know it's wrong, that it wouldn't be a healthy love, but after 7 years I've lost hope that anything on my part can change.
In all this time I have had another relationship, but she has always remained there, free, available. I had expected this day to come, but I hadn't taken it seriously. As if the two of us had always belonged together, even as I shared my life with Lisa. Another wrong thing. I'll go to hell, but I already knew that.
In any case, I need to know. I want to feel bad. To suffer mortally and water Roxy's fur. I've never cried for a woman, not outwardly, but I know it will happen with her. The elevator doors open. I nod to those who remain on board, I leave my bag on the desk in a rush way and I head with a determined step towards her office. I saw Esther in the parking lot, so I know she's already here. At least she's not with him. Will he be at home with Sergio and the new arrival? Rossi let it slip, even if he later tried to pass it off as a joke.
Tyler Green gave… Garcia a real cat. Not a stupid stress reliever. As a peace offering. To make them collaborate. Damn me, when I supported her in her idea of restoring his memory. When I encouraged her to talk to him again. And I gave him the scepter of most hated by Garcia. Because I thought I could aim for another kind of trophy by now.
Given the way our date went, shouldn't I have resigned myself that nothing will happen between us? No, at all. Because every now and then, even if too rarely, she sends me signals that certainly don't go in the direction of being just friends. If there was a similar kind of relationship between us as she has with other members of the BAU, why show such annoyance at seeing me? Why always keep me aside, as a different discourse, like when she, hugging us, had to underline how happy she was to see our faces again, even mine? And her enthusiasm when I let her know that I didn't give a damn about her "replacements".
No, I can't lose hope, even if that song tries to change my mind.
Goodbye my love, we haven't seen each other... goodbye my love, which side do you see, that splinter in my soul, that arrow in my heart, that I try to tear out every day, while I distract the world with a smile
Here, one more step and here I am. I'm about to knock, not wanting to sneak in, feeling like I have no right, but then my ears pick up voices. There is already JJ. I should go back to my desk and wait before giving it another try, but my legs aren't cooperating. Especially when I hear that name come out of... Penelope's lips.
-…he was drunk, do you know when they called me? It was the police, they had stopped him for a fight, so I ran there and not knowing what to do, I took him to my house...- I almost sighed with relief. Nothing new, just the usual caring Garcia. -But then, in the evening, when he seemed to have recovered, he started telling me about his sister, about what he had felt and I told him about my parents, and... there was like a jolt, between us and him... - I don't I realize how hard I'm clenching my fists until drops of blood wet the floor. -…he tried to kiss me and I snapped like a spring.- I smile, pleased. Well done, my love, that's how it's done. -So I offered him to take a walk and who knew that Alison had worked right there? It wasn't on his file and he hadn't remembered it before. I saw the crossroads and had one of the Reid-esque visions.- they giggle. -So far, so good. I gave him my keys and called a taxi, to run and tell you. - here, I feel the blow coming. -He asked me if he could help and that's when I…- JJ whispers something, but I can't catch the precise words. -I kissed him.- the world shatters, everything falls apart. My legs give way, but holding on to the door, I manage not to fall. I really lost her. I no longer hear a single word of her delirium. It's over. There is another man in her heart. Fuck the convinction we belong to each other and all that bullshit. Fuck the sensation of being special. Fuck looks, hugs, hard-won kisses on the cheek. Fuck dancing and her enthusiasm when I asked her out. If she really wasn't interested in me as a man, why didn't she just tell me? To not make me feel bad? Uh, honey, that's a nice play.
Goodbye my love, but here we die, goodbye my love, goodbye... I didn't want you and I don't want myself, goodbye love, goodbye!
The song was right. Who ever wanted to fall in love! That's why I was fine with Lisa. There were never real stresses, real anxieties. There was no rush to go home, whether she was there or not. The thought of her, after the first date (interrupted by whom? But look if that coincidentally), no longer distracted me during a case. No heartbeat. I cared of her, but it was never love. I've never been in love with her. Also because my heart was already busy. Someone had booked the place for a later date. But I didn't want it, no! I didn't want to be like this, act like a fool, say shit just to get her attention… make up all kinds of excuses just to touch her. Nor have I ever allowed my imagination to go so far, before her.
But inside me, that non-dark part, has always been convinced that if it ever happened to me… everything would be fine. It wouldn't have been a one-sided feeling. That's how I found the courage to ask her out. And I didn't gain anything, not even a poor kiss. Maybe it's better this way, how could I have gone on living afterwards, without being able to savor those lips anymore? Well, that's poet bullshit too, and none of my ex-comrades would believe I could have thought such a thing.
I don't know how long it's been, but suddenly I'm losing strength and everything goes black. Cold, dark.
Instead, it's a strong sensation of warmth that brings me back to the world of the living. And a pleasant tickle. Yellow. I lift my eyelids slowly, I don't want to be blinded by the lights. But it's useless. My view is entirely taken up by Penelope's pale and worried face. Her blonde hair brushes my cheek. -Oh, thank God!- I think I can see tears behind her glasses. I don't have the strength to hope for it. -JJ, he's awake!- I catch her joy and I realize that the other blonde is also at my bedside. I'm on the floor, but my head is resting on the IT's bare knees. On the one hand I wish I could enjoy the moment better, on the other I'm tired to survive with few crumbs.
-Luke!- JJ looks concerned too. -Don't worry, I'm calling for help, it's definitely a consequence of the explosion...- I shake my head. Wrong move.
-No, no!- I whine. I don't recognize my voice. -I'm fine. I just had…- I look at Penelope, who tries to look away from me but in a moment her eyes are prey to mine. Just bullshit? Will the same thing happen to her with Tyler? No, I don't think so. I try to pull myself up. Realizing I'm too stubborn to change my mind, Penelope helps me. She places my arm around her shoulders and with JJ on the other side, they lift me up and lead me to a couch, the only real change since Garcia is no longer IT at the BAU. -Don't call anyone, I'm fine.- I repeat, with a slightly more convincing tone.
JJ sighs. She looks towards the friend. -Keep an eye on him and let me know if you can knock some sense into him!- having said that, she disappears and we are alone. The fact is that I didn't really recover. I have a foggy-headed, that song that torments me with the vision of Garcia that kisses Green. Then I realize that it was not a nightmare, she really said it. It really happened. Maybe I became transparent, because she reads it in my face.
She is sitting in the opposite end of the sofa. -You... you heard, right?- I don't nod, but the answer is in my eyes. -I'm sorry, I did a mess, it's such a wrong thing, I have overcome the demarcation line between work and private life, I didn't do it on purpose, it is...- I am not able to hold one of her ramblings. I stretch the arm and touch the first thing that is on my trajectory. Her knee.
She gasps. -Enough.- I exclaim, in a hoarse voice. Oh no, after passes out I will not whine in front of her. Still, I feel the lump in my throat climb along my body, stop it. -You can't choose who... you ... you fall in love with.- bitter banality. -If you are happy with Green... I am ...- I can't say it. -I would like to be happy for you, but I can't.- here, this is the truth. -Because you deserve the entire universe. I want you to be the happiest person in the world.- two too long sentences. I have to wait a moment to recover breath, she doesn't seem able to replicate anything. -I just wanted... I believed that you would be with me.- and with this I closed.
Penelope looks at me as if I had come out of mind. -Luke, I ... I'm not in love with Tyler!- she looks at me, waiting for a reaction. -You overheard just something.- she concludes.
-In I have not ... overheard.- I deny, trying to find a less vulnerable position, keeping sobs at bay, but I still don't know for how much. I have to leave this room and run home. I have all the good excuses to get a day free. -But if you are not in love with that guy... why did you kiss him?- I thought I finished, instead there is still a lot, too much, that we need to dissect, among us.
She opens her inviting mouth, too often the protagonist of my dreams. -It was a mistake. I wanted to make him feel better, I let myself be taken from the atmosphere...- she makes it too easy. However, I certainly don't expect her next move. -And why you stayed almost three years with Lisa?- the tone is accusing and it's not just my impression.
I approach her on the sofa, consciously or not. -Yeah, because she made me feel good.- Penelope nods.
-She is a good person.- I can't understand how we ended up talking about her.
-Yeah, she does.- I shrug. Another big mistake. A grimace. Tears are about to appear. But she must have approached during the conversation, because few inches separate our bodies.
She has a weird gaze, which scares me. -Exactly. And Tyler Green is also a good guy. You talked to him too. He suffered a great trauma and will have to work a lot to overcome the sense of guilt ...- is she talking about him or herself? -and he has made a lot of wrong choices, but remains a good person.- I just stares at her. -Maybe, in another context, in another life... who knows, it could really work, between us.- this is too much. I will not stay in her former office, in this shape, to hear her talk about her possible love story.
I try to get up and fall down, almost in her arms. -What are you smiling at?- she answers me with her eyes that I just don't have the right to make such a reproach, considering how much I love her smiles. Snort.
-Why didn't work between you and Lisa? And don't say Phil. I never believed it, that it was just for that.- why does she keep to put my ex in the middle? At least the nervous blocked the lump in my throat.
I stare at her. -Because no matter how good she was, she wasn't the right one.- she beats her hands, to underline the last word I pronounced. She leans to me, too much for my tormented heart.
As if she was about to kiss me, but I know it is not so. -Exactly.- she says, convinced. -For me is the same. I know that with Tyler there could be something, but also that it would be wrong, also because, however good he may be, he is not the right one.- silence filled only by the thousand machinery in the room. -And I am sure, because I have already found the right one, and he doesn't want to get out of my head.- I try to drive away the feeling of hope that she is talking about me. But it's too late. -Only that... after what I did ... will he forgive me?- she wouldn't look at me like this, if I wasn't personally involved. But I'm tired of this ambiguity. I need concreteness.
I brush her hand and she allows me. -Who could not do it, Penelope?- I whisper. Our eyes are tangled. Pain in the chest grows. The tears push to free themselves. Time stops and slowed down I see her face approaching. I do the same. Finally our lips merge and nothing else exists. Not even the fact that there is another man at her apartment, almost certainly, full of expectations and hopes.
When we separate Penelope rests her heads between my shoulder and chest, but immediately pulls away, probably fearing to hurt me. I force her to go back there. I caress her back as she vents. -Oh, Luke, please forgive me! I know I hurt you and I never wanted, never! I am so afraid, but no matter how big the fear is, there is no way, I can't stop loving you! Please, even if I don't deserve it, don't leave me!- she is not the only one to cry. The wave of her love overwhelms me, and it was never so beautiful to drown.
I take her face in my hands, with thumbs I dry a few savory drops, ignoring mine. Instead, she realizes my state, but I don't give a damn about not seem a macho. I know she doesn't care. -Shh, Pen, calm down.- I brush her lips in a very short kiss, as further reassurance. -It's okay, I have nothing to forgive you, we were not yet together... unfortunately.- I have chosen the wrong words, because it causes a new waterfall. -Hey, hey.- another little kiss. -Stop it, stop! I love you more than I have ever believed possible and I don't give a damn about the rest.- she seems to finally believe it. -Just... do you think you can promise me that you will not kiss every man or woman that you want to help?- it's half a joke, but she takes it seriously.
-I would never do it!- I nod. It is enough for me. -And you... could you do me a favor?- I wonder what she can ask me. -Can you go to the hospital and get checked out? I don't want to lose you just now that I found you.- I hold her hand so strong that I risk hurting her.
I sigh. -All right. But- peremptory voice -I want to be there when you talk to Tyler. If you don't feel to, I can stay in another room, but I don't let you go alone. I know he is a good guy, but...- she nods. She seems willing to grant me the universe. But I know it is only for today and that the bantering will return tomorrow.
Because that's how we work. Penelope checks her clothes, then cleanses my cheeks from the last tears; she leans over to give me an intense kiss, which worths as a real mutual promise. My hands are looking for hers, and viceversa, they find themselves, they intertwine. -Let's go.-
You were born from the pain that will be stop by time, and fears are about to be born, but we will survive and, love, love is awaiting you... because the eternal is not in a hurry!
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thenightcallsme · 6 months
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The Arcana: Julian's Route | Chapter 5
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!! THIS STORY IS A DETAILED RETELLING OF THE ARCANA, INCLUDING PAID SCENES IN BOTH PROLOGUE AND JULIAN ROUTE. ALL CHARACTERS EXCEPT THE MC ARE PROPERTY OF THE ARCANA FRANCHISE !!
A/N: This is a reupload from my AO3 cause I want to branch out. Enjoy!!
Summary: In a small shop in Vesuvia lives Vivian Caelum, a student of the magical arts who works as a shopkeeper for her tutor, Asra Alnazar. Her name is not known in the streets as her master's is, nor does she have full control over her magic yet. But one night, there's a knock at her door; Vivian is needed at the palace to help Countess Nadia upon her personal wishes. Soon, what she thinks is a small task is something she would never have expected her magic to be used for: Vivian must find Count Lucio's murderer. Will she be able to track down the infamous murderer and finally put the Countess's years of restlessness to ease? Or will the killer captivate her in ways she can't explain? Is she even running after the right man? Something deeper than she thought is happening within her beloved city, and she's about to understand the vastness of the magical realms.
Pairing: Julian Devorak x Fem!Magician Reader
This Chapter Contains:
Word Count: 7,263
find the rest of the chapters in my masterlist here :)
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The Palace looms over the carriage as it approaches, a white monolith against the swirling night sky. The gates open and the silky brown horse pulling me along trots proudly across the stone bridge. Drawing back the curtains, I spot Portia patiently waiting. The carriage comes to a slow halt and she opens the door, ready to help me out. The only greeting I get is a small smile that quickly fades once my feet touch the ground. I smile back.
Portia is unusually quiet as she leads the way across the front grounds and through the Palace corridors. I've only known her for a day, but the absence of the cheery girl I ran into at the market sets me on edge. Instead of asking her what's wrong, I stay quiet myself, besides thanking the coach and wishing him good day, tangled up in my own thoughts.
I'm a good actor when I need to be—unless I'm putting up a front under Asra's scrutinising eyes. Whatever the Countess asks, whatever I answer in return, I'm not going to give myself away. I'm confident in that. But it doesn't soothe the guilt that comes with lying. Especially to the Countess of Vesuvia, who has let me into her extravagant home, given me priceless gifts, and offered me a job. A job that I’ve already failed at. 
The grand doors to the dining room are held open by two servants dressed in white and gold, revealing an extravagant meal piled high on the dining table's crimson tablecloth. Everything is richly seasoned with rare spices and herbs, the food prepared artistically. It’s a stark step up from yesterdays light dinner. I pick up saffron, familiar beneath the melody of scents.
Sitting at the head of the table smiling at a servant who offers her a drink is Countess Nadia. She wears simple finery for the quiet evening; modest gold jewellery, a deep blue gown the colour of a bottomless ocean with short sleeves and loose silk skirts. She drums her manicured nails on the table.
"You're right on time, Vivian. I hope your day was fruitful."
I take a seat closest to the Countess. A servant soundlessly appears at my side filling a champagne flute with a fizzing beverage. "As fruitful as it could be for my first day. I hope to not disappoint you when I say I haven't found the doctor yet. I'm just looking through his research for now."
The lie is easy to speak, which troubles me. How much am I going to lie until I finally come to terms with what I have to do? The Countess's face doesn't change—she most certainly expected the least to come from my first time reporting back.
She waves her hand. "No matter. I would expect no solid leads in the first few hours of research. First, let us attend to some smaller matters."
"And that is...?"
"Why, my courtiers wish to meet you, of course." Humour dances in her eyes as she takes a modest sip of her champagne. I do the same, thankful that I had half the mind not to fully down the drink at the tavern.
I bow my head. "It would be an honour to, my lady."
"They will want to know everything about you." She makes a disapproving face. "But choose carefully on what you want to reveal to them. Prying into one's life is a hobby of theirs. Don't feel ashamed to stay quiet if a question seems too much."
I bow my head again, taking a few bites of my dinner.
Sudden nerves cause me to shift in my seat. I came here expecting to work for Countess Nadia. Not to fraternise with her court. My social skills are quite acceptable; I have no trouble holding a conversation with strangers as if I've known them for years. When it comes to the Countess's court, however, I want to sink into the chair and never leave the plush cushions.
People hear little of the royal court. They prefer to stray away from the public eye. Information on them is little. Sightings of them is even littler. I don't think her court has been seen around Vesuvia in a few years. The only name and face I can recall is an ageing man with grey hair and pale skin named Vlastomil.
The Countess continues. "I will be informing them of the Masquerade as well. I imagine they will be ecstatic. On another note, tomorrow at noon, Portia will lead a retinue into the town square to announce the Masquerade. Once the townspeople who attend hear, word will spread quickly on its own. By then it shall be out of our hands."
"I am to guess that my deadline for finding Doctor Devorak is a day before the Masquerade at most?" I ask.
"Indeed," she confirms. "I imagine the crowds will be eager to see Count Lucio's murderer hang."
I only find it in myself to nod.
The image of Julian, who only so long ago was bathed in the warm, welcoming light of the tavern, is suddenly swimming in my mind. I imagine him smiling and mingling with the crowd, laughing with the barkeep, offering friendly greetings and showing sincere concern for me when the guards came. ...And then I imagine him hanging from the gallows, that playful grin gone and the mischievous light in his eye forever extinguished. It causes a feeling so strong that I can’t not acknowledge it. My heart grows cold, but I'm careful not to let it show. Something about this feels so incredibly wrong.
The Countess waves her hand in dismissal. "But these are tomorrows matters. Tonight, Vivian, I have questions."
"Questions?" Bracing myself, I wait for the inevitable. What have you done today? Where have you been?
She nods. "Yes. I wish to become familiar with you."
Her words catch me off guard. Not only did I not expect her to want to ask me any other questions, but I did not expect her to have an interest in who I am. 
Asra and Finnick are my only friends, and years have passed since I've had a close female friend. I couldn’t be happier, or any luckier, but I feel there is an unspoken rift between Asra and I, and there is little time when Finnick and I's schedules align. I need more women in my life. To become friendly with Countess Nadia is an opportunity I'm willing to take. Not only does she seem like a genuine and kind and interesting character, but to have the Countess in my corner... 
If I'm going to call her my friend, I should become accustomed to her as just Nadia. No riches, no titles, no power; just who she really is.
Nadia smiles back. "Let us be strangers no longer. May tonight be the beginning of a valuable friendship."
I smile back. "I would love that."
Nadia starts with simple questions. How I enjoy the town, my daily goings, my favourite things to eat. I love Vesuvia. I usually spend my day keeping shop and running errands in the market—when I'm alone I enjoy painting. I love cinnamon rolls and pumpkin bread. She's intrigued by even the shortest answers. My lifestyle must be foreign to her, my morals and wants and needs very different, and it's not something that offends me. We take turns, and I ask questions in turn, as intrigued as her by the smallest of things. The interest we share makes me wonder how many female friends she has.
"In Prakra," she says in answer to a question, "spiced swordfish is a summer dish. I would hardly suffer a warm night without it."
Prakra, a vast land far in the North. Rumours and gossip are little of Nadia's home. All I know is that Vesuvia has a trading relationship with the city. Where we have a specialty in silk, cotton, and other materials, Prakra sources us with marbles and stones useful for Vesuvia's expanding city and constant new architecture.
Nadia sighs. "The kitchen does try to humour my requests, but alas, they can never spice it quite right."
"Do you ever miss living there?" I ask.
The Countess turns her thoughtful gaze towards her glass, elegant fingers curled delicately around the stem. She takes another sip as she considers the question, her eyes far away. I sit quietly as I wait.
Eventually, she comes to a conclusion. "Perhaps. I don't think I would ever return to Prakra, but there are things I miss about my home. Often when I was feeling morose, I would take a walk down to the white beaches of my homeland. Observing the waves crash over the sand... something about the view and the sounds did wonders to calm me down."
The bittersweet expression on her face as she speaks of her homeland makes her look years younger. I feel a sudden connection as memories resurface: I used to live in a small city close to Vesuvia, merely a few weeks by boat away. Aldradya. I have little to miss, as my life was spent underneath the control of my parents, but...the smells of spring and the vast countryside and the trees in autumn...
"I know how you feel. I'm not from Vesuvia, and the small things are what I miss," I offer.
She looks to me, curiosity in her eyes. "I thought I could hear an accent. How did you end up in Vesuvia?"
I purse my lips. After a moment, I say, "Not for a reason I'm proud of. I did not have a good family life. My sisters and I...we were only raised to be sold for marriage."
Nadia's eyes soften. "You're from Aldradya...aren't you? I've heard of the rumours from there. Apparently arranged marriage is still common, but nobody owns up to it because it's practically illegal." She shakes her head. "It's very hard to incriminate the parents when they somehow keep it so secretive.”
"I first tried to run away when I was fifteen." I lift the right sleeve of my shirt and push back the stacked bracelets Nadia has gifted me. Beneath it is a gnarled, white scar that twists around my wrist and stands out against my skin. "This was my punishment. My father held my arm in the door while I begged and slammed it shut. My mother only stood back and watched. And my sisters...I'm glad they didn't intervene. They would have been punished just the same."
Nadia reaches out her hand and gently brushes her fingers along my wrist. The feeling and warmth of her skin is like a whisper against mine, as the nerves in my wrist never recovered. I was denied the help of a healer, despite how I tried to make it seem like I'd be sold for less, the imperfection an indent in my worth. But it was meant to serve as a reminder. A constant memory. The bones and nerves never healed properly—to this day I can still feel the ghost of pain running through the gnarled skin. There's a spark of horror in her expression as she listens to my words.
"I'm so sorry," she whispers. "Nobody deserves to be brought up in a family so blindsided and heartless."
I shake my head. "Don't be. Vesuvia is my home now. Deep down, I feel it has always been waiting for me. I belong here, and without those experiences, I don't think I could be who I am now. I only hope that my sisters are living real lives."
Nadia grabs my hand and squeezes. "Well, I hope it encourages you to know that I will hope with you. No woman should be sold to a man she doesn't love. A free yet loveless marriage is hell in and of itself.”
"Thank you. That means a great deal."
Suddenly, I notice that the servants who mill around behind us I listening intently, watching us with curious eyes. I don't mind Portia learning these vulnerable stories. My only issue is how the palace servants are such gossips. Nadia notices, chuckling quietly.
"Well, if we are to reminisce, perhaps we should do so somewhere more private. Would you care to join me on the veranda for a nightcap?" she asks. "Just the two of us."
The countess stands, holding out her hand towards me, waiting expectantly. Excited, I place my hand in hers without trepidation. She takes it warmly and firmly, a pleased gleam in her smile.
"I would love to, Nadia."
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Nadia leads me through the palace with an arm linked through mine. She's a tall woman, and even with me standing at a decently average height, I have to look up to her a great deal as she speaks. It must look quite comedic, but I don't mind.
A cool night breeze greets us as she takes me through frosted glass doors. We take down marble stairs and onto an expansive, white veranda. The star-filled sky is bright and vast overhead. It hides the garden below in shadows.
"Have a seat," the countess tells me.
We have stopped at a glass table surrounded by potted plants of shiny leaves and unique flowers. It's secluded and perfect for two. I settle down into a white woven chair at her request. She picks up a crystal decanter filled with paled liquid and pours us both a glass.
"Elderflower cordial," she explains "one of my favourites."
I take a sip, my tongue met with the pleasant taste of the sweet liquid. It has a small fizz to it, but the beverage is non-alcoholic. "How have I not tasted this before? It's marvellous."
Nadia laughs. "I'm glad you like it. It's something else I couldn't live without from Prakra."
I take a few more sips as Nadia laps into sudden silence. Her eyes search me for something I can't explain. She's quiet for a moment, the silence suddenly heavy. It’s almost uncomfortable until she tilts her head to the side in query.
"You are...quite different from how I imagined you," she says. I give her a curious look. "I will admit, I find your presence intriguing."
Somehow, she has a talent for wording things that both make me feel at ease and nervous at the same time. The further from the Heart District you go, the more rumours of Nadia you hear. People paint her as a tyrant. Her efforts to right the city are overshadowed by the destruction her husband bestowed. To them, she is Lucio reincarnate. But I’ve never quite agreed. I’ve heard of her attempts and righting her husbands wrongs, and being at the head of a foreign country with a seemingly useless council, I think she’s done very well. On a personal level, the woman in front of me seems genuine, kind, and...a little lonely. I can’t imagine life in this palace being anything but isolating, especially when the gates closed.
"Oh? I've been told many things, both good and bad, but never that."
She laughs. "I'm sorry. That must have sounded strange. But… tell me, Vivian. Why did you come to the Palace? Why agree to help me?"
I nearly consider telling her something overly kind, but having to say it was 'the right thing to do' sounds like something she would hear often. I am confident in myself to know that at some point, praise would become tiring and invalid. Nadia is a real person, and real people respect real answers.
So if I have to lie to her about Julian, I won't lie to her now.
"I was curious."
She watches me in surprise. "Curious? And have you satisfied your curiosity?"
A long tendril of plum-coloured hair falls into her face as she tilts her head once more, waiting for an answer. But I... I don't have one. Not yet, at least. I only have more curiosities.
I smile timidly. "No, I have yet to."
Nadia nods. "It's refreshing to sit with a like-minded individual. There are so many questions in this world. Perhaps we could help one another answer some."
"I hope that I can have the honour to know you long enough to."
She smiles. "Agreed. Do you have any more questions for me? Know that you are free to speak in my presence."
I have many a question for Nadia. So many that when I think of a new one I almost forget the last. I worry that if I try to ask them all now, we would never leave the veranda. For now, though, I just need to know...
"Why me?"
"I...beg your pardon?"
"Why, of all talented and powerful magicians, did you choose me?"
It's hard not to wonder what drove the countess of Vesuvia, a place with many ties, to sort me out. She merely brushed past the mention of a dream. So much faith has seemed to be put on me, and I just wonder...where did it all come from?
"...That is a prudent question, Vivian. You're wise to wonder my motives." The countess goes silent again, thinking on the question. "When I came to your door, I was looking for an answer. I thought you might be it. If I were to arrive that night only to find you wanting, I would not have invited you here. But there is something about you... I believe you were worth the risk. Were you startled to find me at your door?"
"I would be lying if I told you I wasn't. It would be a shock for anyone to find Vesuvia's countess standing at your door," I answer.
She laughs at the obvious answer. "I suppose so. And you have nothing to fear, I assure you. I have no patience for the swindlers who prowl the market, preying on weak and weary souls. What I feel from you, though? It's intriguing and promising."
She looks up to me with hope in her eyes.
"I do not think you will disappoint me.”
I already have.
It rips something horrible in my heart to have to want to tell her that. To tell her so, though, would end Julian's life. I can't do that right now. But remember, says that timid voice of reason, he's a murderer. Don't forget that he has to face his sentence. It's hard not to forget.
"And I hope to make you proud," I see. I feel a yawn tugging at my lips, hiding the action behind my hand.
Nadia sighs. "It seems you have had a long day already. I won't keep you any longer."
She gently picks up a small, silver bell that sits between us, its handle carved like a swans neck. She rings it thrice. For such a small bell, its jingle is sharp and loud. The door to the veranda slides open immediately as Portia bustles in.
"You rang, milady?"
"I did," Nadia confirms. "Please show Vivian to her room."
Portia bows. "Of course milady."
I turn to Nadia. "Thank you, Nadia, for wishing to get to know me. I have enjoyed our time this evening."
"It was a pleasure." She approaches me, gently giving my shoulders a squeeze as she leans in and lightly kisses either cheek. "I look forward to further getting to know you."
I give her one last smile as Portia leads me away. I almost swear I see her wink at me.
The walk back to the guest room is less eventful tonight. Mercedes and Melchior, whose names I learnt while conversing with the countess, are nowhere to be seen. Our footsteps echo in the empty halls. Tonight, Portia is walking cheerfully beside me.
Tonight... God, it's hard to believe it's already my second night in the palace.
"Things are a lot more interesting around here since you showed up," Portia quips. "And all the rumours floating around. My goodness! You'd think we had nothing to do but chat!"
I raise a brow. "Are rumours many around here? I know that Palace workers are known to have many secrets to tell, but is that merely another high tale?"
"It's my job, as well as many others’, to know who and what's happening around here," she answers as she opens the door to my room. "I will admit that a good selection of maids cannot hold their tongue for the life of them."
It seems servants came during the day to tidy up. They've placed a fresh pitcher of water on the night stand, and have tucked in the corners of the bedsheets. Incense burns by the window, filling the room with hazy swirls of pinewood and spice scented plumes.
As I drop my new leather bag at the foot of the bed, the scroll from Julian's desk rolls out. My heart jolts. Julian’s work hiding away in my bag is nothing truely incriminating—I’m supposed to understand his character. Nadia said as much. But that doesn’t stop me from snatching it up, hastily stuffing it away. Portia watches me with careful eyes. Thankfully the scroll maintained its shape, barely showing the annotated brain. I wouldn’t expect Portia to make much of the jumbled lines regardless.
I still see a question worry at her lips, though. She fails to ask it.
"You seem concerned," I say softly as I tuck the scroll away. I must return it by daylight. "Are you okay?"
She worries at her lower lip. “Concerned? Me?”
“Come on, Portia.” I take her hands in mine with an encouraging squeeze. “It’s okay to admit if you are. I can see it in your eyes. My time here has been short, yes, but I quite like you. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.”
“I… You…do? You like me?”
I laugh. “What is there not to like? You’re soul is so refreshing.”
Truely, it is. I’m not used to such pure kindness. The slums I spent my early Vesuvius years and even the lower part of town I now reside in are environments that foster some of the worst. Cheats, thieves, liars, drunks. The men and women are equal in their selfishness and vanity. Asra has been the only person to restore any hope for a long time.
Then, all of a sudden, there Portia is. The first moment we met I came crashing into her, and she still did nothing but smile. Her soul is a breathe of fresh air, the first sign of spring after a draining, endless winter. She was walking good karma, her soft beauty a return of her good faith. But something tells me that was only the surface of what the world owed her. Something was bothering her poor mind, and if I have any power to bring peace, God knows I’d surrender it.
“You’re serious?”
“In my entirety.”
“I…wow.” A slow, charming smile perks at her mouth. “I can’t believe… You’re kindness hasn’t surprised me. Most workers and guests have enough courtesy. But nobody’s every really looked at me, or…or thought about me as more than another palace servant.”
“Then let me be the first.” I squeeze her hands. “But I’m sure that’s not true.”
Her eyes are still incredibly wide. “I don’t remember the last time I had a real friend.”
“You and me both. Asra…he’s unique. I’ll always love him, but doesn’t really count,” I add. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
With a pause followed by a heavy sigh, she retreats to perch on the edge of my bed. “You must swear not to repeat any of this. It’s nothing incriminating, before you start jumping to conclusions, but I just…I’d never say it before m’lady. It feels wrong.”
“I promise what you say stays in this room.”
“Okay. I confess something has been worrying me,” she begins, “regarding the doctor. I just mean, he can’t be the only suspect, right?”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised,” is all I can offer. It’s now that I wish Julian and I had more time to speak. If only he could have told me something that would have eased Portia’s worry.
She bites her lip. "Just between you and me, I think Count Lucio had a lot of enemies. I admit I wasn't working here when it happened; I've only heard rumours of what went on that night.”
“My memory of the night is hazy,” I add. “But, if it makes you feel any better, the story I’m told is unsatisfying. I feel like there’s something missing. I just need to figure out what.”
“Just promise me to keep your eyes and wits about you for anything strange, alright?”
"Of course," I promise.
“Good. It’s nice to know I’m not crazy.” She sighs as she says so, a weight visibly lifted from her shoulders. “Y’know, if you’re not too tired yet, I could show you around the Palace. I know I could always do so tomorrow, but there's something more exciting about it when people are few."
She flashes a playful, enticing smile as she tilts her head. Whether or not it's allowed completely passes over my mind as a sudden curiosity fills me. Nowadays, all who inhabit the castle are workers, but even then they are many. Something about the empty halls calls to me.
“You tempt me too much,” I tease.
Overcome with joy, Portia leaps to her feet. “Oh, I love having someone to entertain. We’re going to be good friends, Vivian.”
Our arms remain linked as Portia leads me through the marble maze. When I ask her what she has in mind, her only reply is that I’ll know it when I see it. Whatever that means, I’m not sure. Instead, I coax stories out of her. As we pass paintings and statues, nooks and crannies, Portia reveals otherwise unsuspecting history. Her knowledge of the castle and its inhabitants is few and far between, ranging from history to staff theatrics. 
Her tone is ever changing as she speaks on her peers. Some company she enjoys, though it’s not the majority. Gossip only partially calls to her when she knows her confident is worth investing in. She’ll always welcome a story, but she’s careful what she offers in return. From what I can gather, Portia is a walking record, deceitful behind her timid innocence. I find validation in the secrets she shares.
Her company is enjoyable, even more so than I imagined. Our conversations are much like the one Nadia and I shared. Eventually, the topic turns to me, and Portia brings up my magic.
"What does is feel like?" she asks.
"Sometimes I go about my day feeling quite mundane—it can be very subtle. But when I feel strong emotion or my fight or flight response kicks in, there’s just this awareness. Almost like there’s an extra layer between skin and muscle." At the face she makes, I laugh. “It may sound unnerving, but it's a a comforting feeling. If, tomorrow, I suddenly lost the connection, it would feel like I lost a limb.”
"Was it hard to get used to? I mean, since you were introduced to magic later in life?"
"Oh, definitely." The answer is immediate. I smile as I recall how foreign my body had felt. "All while losing magic would feel like losing a limb, finding it is like growing a new one. You must learn to control it correctly, get used to the conscious feeling of it. Most importantly, a new magic user must learn not to neglect it. Oppressing it for too long can be dangerous."
Portia raises a brow in question. “Would that be why you’re first time was…explosive?”
“I’d assume so."
We've come to a stop before a large set of double doors that blend into the stone walls. Portia grabs the swan-head handles and pushes them open to reveal a vast kitchen. A man with a large figure and a larger smile lifts his head to see us.
“First stop," Portia says with a flourish of her arm, "is the main kitchen."
A few workers have stayed behind to clean elegant dishes and wipe the countertops clean. Some scrub ash from dormant ovens Though there is no food being baked, the heavy smell of spices and sugar fill the air.
The man waves to Portia, brushing his hands against a flour-dusted apron. "Portia! Still on duty?"
“Noo,” she sings. “Not exactly. I'm showing Vivian around."
Hestion turns to me, brown eyes curious and bright. "Ah, Her Excellence's magician! What a pleasure it is, Miss Caelum. I'm Hestion, the Head Chef of the Palace."
He extends a large, flour-speckled hand towards me. I comply and grab his hand with mine, warm and calloused. Shaking mine with a firm grip, his grin grows wider.
I bow my head. "The pleasure is all mine.
"It isn't every day a magician will roam these halls. Nowadays, at least," he remarks.
"It's not every day I get to meet the Palace's Head Chef," I reply with a humorous grin. Hestion chuckles.
A ding rings from a small egg-shaped time beside him. His face twinkles with excitement as he makes his way to the nearest oven. Its white brick mouth is charred with black from the caress of flames. The head chef opens a hatch and warm air smelling of savoury bread, herbs, and garlic rolls over me. Reaching in with a flat, metal oven peel, he pulls out soft, golden bread rolls.
He places them on the counter beside us and grins. "You ladies arrived at the right time. Here's a new recipe I've been working on."
Hestion grabs two of the rolls and tosses them over. I catch the soft, cooked dough, holding it with the very tips of my fingers so not to burn myself. Ripping at a corner, the bread pulls away, strings go melted cheese attempt to hold the pieces together. Garlic and rosemary peak through the plush white bread and decorate the surface. I take a bite. After two palace dinners and a delectable breakfast, my expectations are high, and rightfully so. Unsurprisingly, my expectations are met. I make a sound of delight, before taking another mouthful.
"Delicious!" I say, voice muffled behind a mouthful of bread.
Portia takes a bite. "Mmmm. Hestion, how do you do it?"
"Chef's secret," he says with a grin. "You better run along, Portia, if you want to show our guest about the palace. And Vivian, if you ever find yourself hungry during the night, just stop by. Our doors are always open."
Portia winks at me, adding, "Just make sure you don't ruin Hestion's breakfast preparations. I'm not responsible for any harm that might befall you."
As Hestion surveys his craft, Portia whisks me from the kitchen, but not before snatching another roll. As she closes the kitchen's heavy doors behind her, she reveals it and tears the bread in half. I take another bite, promising myself to seek Hestion out for more of these delicacies.
"We'll use a secret passage to get to the veranda," she explains. "Saves a lot of time when you're in a rush. I will warn you, though. It's kind of...creepy."
Concluding the hall we walk down is another large painting within a gilded frame. Mercedes and Melchior are depicted with in, regarding Portia and I with unbothered stares resembling rulers regarding their peasant people. A pile of pomegranates spill out at their feet. Wine red juices stain the paws and toothy maws of the canine pair. Halos of shimmering gold flakes crown them. I almost wonder if I should be kneeling before the two. 
Similar to Lucio in all his paintings, the deceit of painters skilful hand cannot hide the unsettling glint in their blood-red eyes.
Portia grips at the edge of the painting and drags it open, revealing a secret archway beyond. Though she can only pull it back a fraction. She sighs, looking to me in pleading.
"Think you could help us out with a little magic?" She asks. "This one hasn't been open in a good while."
Asra has taught me how to move objects. Just think of what you're going to achieve. Think how it's going to move. What does it sound like, feel like, look like? But I don't remember ever being good at it. In fact, I can't remember using this sort of magic at all. Despite that, there’s a misplaced confidence that has me acting.
Lifting a hand before me, I close my eyes and focus on the painting of Count Lucio's dogs. It sounds like the whine of a metal gate swinging open...The floor vibrates with the dragging weight...I imagine it dragging backwards. Multiple patches of skin cross my body begin to grow hot; my tattoos.
"Wow..." I hear Portia breathe. "Magic is so...strange."
I open my eyes and stare in surprise. The portrait of Mercedes and Melchior has dragged fully back, revealing a dark hallway beyond the archway. What amazes and confuses me most is the fatigue. Not the feeling of it, no, the lack of it. It may not seem like a lot, but magic is draining to the inexperienced. We cannot take without giving something in return. But when I draw the painting open, I don't think I give an inkling of my energy. I hold my breath for a moment. A second passes. Another. I still feel nothing but vigour.
Slowly, a proud smile tugs at my lips. "Would you look at that. Even I can surprise myself sometimes."
"Not as much as you surprise me. I know you weren't looking, but I almost thought it would fly off the hinges. How does it work?"
"You just imagine how it will open. The little details like the sound and the feel of it are what help," I say.
We pass through the arch and into the wide, dusty passage beyond. Portia pulls a cobweb-covered lever hidden in the wall and the painting swings shut behind us.
I flick my hand forward and call for the lamps overhead to glow brightly, to illuminate the walls and light the way. One by one, the candles within blaze with a ghostly white fire. Portia watches the flames burst to life. It's not often I find someone to impress.
Realistic paintings of animals line the walls. At first glance, I find them uninteresting. But the more we pass by, I begin to understand what Portia meant. The rabbits, the lions, the deer, the exotic birds... They all have fur and skin the colour of fresh snow on a winter's morning. Crimson eyes peak from white skin and fur like rubies, contrasting starkly against their pale complexions. I make a face of distaste. People no doubt would find these artistic, and I myself love to paint. But these paintings feel void of meaning or appeal.
"This used to be the count's 'Menagerie Gallery'," Portia explains as she notes my expression. "People rarely come down this hall anymore. Especially since his...passing."
"What a strange display. Wouldn't people be here to clean it, though? It's extremely—“ I cover my mouth with my inner elbow as I sneeze, my throat and nose tickled by the dusty air. "...dusty."
Portia sways her head side to side. "Yes, but nobody goes here because the Count no longer lives or because they don't care for it. We just have a rumour that the palace is haunted."
I flinch as she says it, going stiff. So in Count Lucio's quarters... Was I not crazy? May that disembodied voice really not be a creation of my wandering mind? That beastly thing by the window must have been what the Palace workers whisper about. It gives me both a sense of relief and dread.
"If you follow its voice," Portia continues in the comical voice of a ghost, "you'll never be seen again!"
"Has that ever happened, though?"
Portia giggles lightly as she brushes a strand of curly auburn hair from her bright eyes. It looks like cascading waves of molten copper beneath the pale glow of the ghostly flame. Today she wears it in a thick braid that ends just shy of her wide hips. Holding the wild curls that escape is a white bandana with gold patterns that match her servant's uniform.
"Oh sure. Servants are always popping up after shirking duties, saying the gallery ghost got them." She rolls her eyes with a huff of exasperation. "Usually, it turns out they just fell asleep in the larder and wanted to blame a ghost. No doubt there's some weird stuff going on in here, though."
I grin. "What fun would the myths be if you didn't believe in them?"
She grins back. "Exactly. Just don't go wandering off into any dark, creepy hallways alone.”
A singular door sits at the end of the hallway. Portia manages it on her own this time. The cool night breeze rushes in like a flood to snuff the white flames. As we cross the threshold, I recall how the emptiness of the palace called to me. Oh, how wrong I was. Despite the hour, the stone veranda is teeming with Palace workers in various states of activity. Cheerful voices greet us, or rather, Portia, as we pass.
A young male servant who sweeps stray leaves from the ground looks up, regarding Portia with a flashy smile. “Taking the long way home tonight, Portia?”
Another servant elbows him playfully. “She’s showing around our new magician you buffoon.”
"Hey! Watch your mouth in front of the ladies!"
Portia just rolls her eyes. I can tell she finds the interaction uninteresting. She swings a freckled arm up and over my shoulder as she gives the first one, a tall, lean, brown-haired boy with hazel eyes and tanned skin, a pointed stare.
"Jealous, Babouche?" she teases as she leads me away. "You'll have to wait for your turn to spend time with Vivian."
Behind my back, I hear one whisper to the other: "Do you think she's single?"
"How would I know?"
I giggle, loud enough to let them know I heard. The one who spoke second burst into a fit of wild laughter.
The servants are always so attentive and alert when I'm with Nadia. But now, when the countess is no longer in need and they prepare to change shifts, they seem more relaxed and happy and human. A few are taking a break by the bannister, leaning against it and chatting. One of them, a handsome blonde boy, gives Portia a lazy smile and a wink as we head down the stairs.
"Have a good night, Portia," he says.
Her returning smile is wary. "You too, Vincenze."
I give her a look as we pass earshot. "Do you not like him? He seems into you."
"Oh, he's into me, alright.” Portia sighs. "He's an ass, though. Never seems to do his job and finds it rather fun when I have to supervise him. I genuinely can't tell if he does it purposely or if he can't do the simplest things for the life of him."
The steps she takes me down lead towards a garden maze beneath the veranda. We're standing at the entrance to the maze, where a large, leaning willow tree sits. Its branches of drooping leaves sway gently in the timid breeze. Beneath it is a layered stone fountain with steady flowing water. Sitting atop the fountain is a strange creature; the upper half of a goat with its front legs raised. Connecting it to the fountain is a slim, curved fish tail.
My attention doesn’t linger for long; something is pulling me. There is no physical force to be felt. Instead, it's something that whispers seductively in my ear and tugs me along by the heart. I can feel the pressure of magic hanging heavy on my shoulders. My own magic sizzles with interest beneath my skin.
“Before this little tour ends,” says Portia, “I have something I think you'll really like. It's the reason I thought of showing you around, actually."
"Is this your surprise plan?"
"...Maybe."
She takes my hand and practically sprints around the fountain. I run with her as she leads me through the beginning of the winding hedges. She takes every corner and path without hesitance. Abruptly, she stops at an intersection. In the hedge wall of the intersecting path is a crumbling archway. Vines and weeds twist around and in between the mossy stone. Small, white flowers blossom at the heads of the weeds. The hedge around it reaches out spindly branches and takes it in the tight embrace of time.
There it is again; the pressure on my shoulders and the tug at my heart. It leads right to the archway, where I can almost feel the soft caress of magic like veiled flames melting skin.
"This has magic in it," I breathe.
Portia turns to me. "You can feel it?"
I nod slowly, staring into the archway. What is it that I feel? It's nothing more than a crumbling stone structure.
"You're going to love what it does," Portia says.
I barely let out a strangled cry before Portia pulls me in head first.
Tensed and started, I expect to be met with the unwelcome feel of leaves and rough, shark twigs against my skin. I scrunch my eyes. A second passes. A second too long, and still I feel nothing. Peaking through my thick lashes, I manage to catch a glimpse of something strange. The lush scenery and distant palace lights morph into something indecipherable, as if I’m staring skyward through unsteady waters. The moon stretches and pulls, shrinks and expands, changing from white to black to a faint yellow glow. Suddenly, it’s not the night sky that I can see, but the Palace halls.
Faint chattering echo from distant servants, replacing the ringing of crickets. A comfortable warmth caresses my skin instead of the chilly bite of a breeze. 
“A portal?” I say in utter shock. "I've...I've never seen one before. Apparently they used to be all over the continent."
I look behind me, expecting to see a twin archway to the one in the maze. Instead, Portia and I have emerged from a painting of blueberries hanging between two large, golden vases. I laugh at the incredibility of it.
"Isn't it amazing? I bet there are portals like this all over the Palace, leading to all sorts of places!" She elbows me lightly. "And the best part is that only we know."
"How did you even discover it?"
"Oh, I was doing my rounds and found some spare time, so I went on a little stroll. I walked past it and stopped to have a look. It was so quiet that a bird call made me jump and I fell into it." She laughs. "You could only imagine how shocked I was to find I ended up back in the Palace. Now it's my secret from getting from there to inside quickly. And since you can sense it, having a magician on hand would be handy in finding more."
I smile as she leads me elsewhere. I already know the tour has come to an end, but there is so much more that I have to explore in the Palace. It may take me weeks to become familiar with every little passageway and turn and room.
"And aren't you lucky that your magician is eager to find more."
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
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dreambones · 2 years
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For the writing prompt: "I know you're tired, but you have to stay awake." With Foxy and Starling (pizzaplex edition).
Me: I don't like writing angst.
Also me: *Sprints to write this because I have the perfect scenario*
TW For blood and injury :)
Has her body always felt this heavy? Starling blinked a couple of times, everything around was dark and blurry. A groan leaves her lips, it hurts, bad, while at the same time she feels numb, disconnected from her body. Despite that, there was only one concern running through her head, she had to know if he was ok.
“Foxy?”
God she sounds awful, her voice cracks and she can’t even be sure it was above a whisper. But the animatronic hears her perfectly, frozen next to her, crouched on the floor while his system is done rebooting, blocking out whatever the hell had gotten into his coding.
Foxy body twitches, and slowly, his vision turns back to normal, flooding with pop up alerts he shoves to the side, unable to deal with them at the moment.
He feels as if he had woken up from a vivid dream where a stranger kept control over his body, pulling invisible strings. But it was no dream, he knew that, he kept screaming at himself from the back of his head to stop, fighting to regain control as he was forced to be a front seat spectator of his worst nightmare.
For the first time after waking up, he focused on Star, another urgent alert warning him of the gravity of the intern wounds and the need of immediate medical attention.
He did this, this was his fault, because he couldn’t fight it off, fight him off.
“Mouse… I’m sorry I am sorry please…”
Star recognizes the fox’s voice, he even dropped the pirate lingo, he must be truly worried, she doesn’t want that. The pirate moves closer, hands hovering above her body, afraid to touch her, to make it even worse, was it even possible to make it worse? Before his eyes flashes her terrified expression before his fangs sunk into the skin on her shoulder, crushing the clavicle bone with an ease that was terrifying, the deafening crack stuck in his memory.
“He-hey Captain, nice to see you back to normal”
Star wants to lift her hand and pat that crooked snout of his, but the motion shoots a wave of pain from the tip of her fingers to the center of her chest.
Foxy scanner is going crazy, unable to focus on a single one of Starling wounds, not knowing where to start. Where was the blood coming from? How could he touch her without doing further damage to the broken bones?
He tries to connect to the Pizzaplex communication system and send a message to the others.
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
He clenches his jaw close, metal teeth clicking with the force. The thought of leaving Starling there and running for help crosses his mind, the others should be at their rooms already, and if not, Vanessa should be arriving soon for the night shift.
The thought is discarded far out the window when he sees Star slowly closing her eyes, body shaken by tremors every now and then.
With clumsy movements, he takes his jacket off and tosses it on top of her body, hoping it helps fight off some of the maintenance tunnels cold.
“C’mon mouse, I know you’re tired, but you have to stay awake”
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
The shadow of a touch caresses her cheek, she instinctively leans closer to it, finding comfort in the contact among the numbness and screaming pain. Foxy gulps a non-existent lump, but the tightness inside his throat doesn’t go away.
“‘m sorry Foxy, I’m kinda exhausted”
Star sounds distant, struggling to keep her eyes open.
Slow and careful, as if handling the most fragile glass, Foxy slides an arm under her neck, minding his claws, frustrated by not being able to cradle her face to comfort her, the hook on his right never felt more dangerous than now.
Star never felt so small in his arms, he never felt more useless.
Incapable of keeping her awake, the animatronic internal machinery whirs loud as she closes her eyes and stays like that.
“Mouse”
He presses the point of his nose to her face, nudging carefully. There’s no response.
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
“...Starling…?”
He brushes her cheek with his snout again, wanting a reaction, any reaction, anything but her body going limp in his arms.
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
Why is no one replying?
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
Please
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
Anyone
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
Help
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
>>ERROR. CONNECTION FAIL. TRY AGAIN?
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kindahoping4forever · 3 years
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take care of yourself babe. i’m going through some medical nightmares as well and i know how stressed i am about it all. you don’t really know me but i love your writing and i hate to see you struggling! please let me know if you need a little bit of support because i don’t mind sending you a message when you need it. 💕
I saw this message while I was tossing and turning early this morning and it made me feel a little less alone so thank you for sending it, truly. 🥲 I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time as well. We're both gonna figure things out and we're both gonna feel good again! We just gotta hang in there. We got this! 💙💙
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purityoflust · 3 years
Text
The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]
Jeff the killer X Victim!
WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.
I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.
9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.
The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.
The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.
Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.
This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"
The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.
Familiar.
You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.
You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.
You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?
The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.
That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.
And it hits you hard.
The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.
Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.
He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.
His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.
"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.
In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.
"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"
You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.
You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?
"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"
"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"
He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.
He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."
"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.
"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.
The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.
"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."
Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.
"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."
You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.
"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.
"I won't."
You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.
"It's a medical room."
"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.
The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.
You actually got along with most of them.
The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.
You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.
You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.
And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.
You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.
If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.
Maybe he isn't so bad.
230 notes · View notes
momiji-bookhouse · 2 years
Text
An Arm's Length Away [01]
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pairing: Kaedehara Kazuha x fem!reader
content: bodyguard!AU, fluff
words: 2.4k
a/n: Most of the flower and herb names in this work will be made up.
Join the taglist | Masterlist
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[One]: Eyes That Talk
➺ Even among those who are willing to look past your reputation, you are not immune to some questioning eyes.
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"The weather's beautiful today, (Y/N)."
"Yes, it is auntie." You say monotonously while sipping your bowl of miso soup, already being able to guess where this conversation is going, having gone through it in far too many mornings that it has become almost routine-like.
"It would be such a pity to waste a day like this being here all day, don't you have anything planned? Going to the city perhaps? Why don't you go to Ogura Textiles with me? I heard that Mio has some new kimono designs."
You had to resist the urge to snort at the suggestion. "I'm afraid if I'm spotted roaming around Inazuma City, it would be an unwelcoming sight, Aunt Sayuri. Words can travel fast, who knows what will happen if they reach the wrong ears?"
Sayuri's lips purse. "You're making it sound so dramatic, (Y/N). It's not like the people are going to throw sticks and stones at you."
You set down your bowl with a quiet sigh. "Perhaps not, but it's too close, auntie. I would rather not risk making a scene."
The older woman gaze at her young niece and shakes her head, unable to comprehend whatever is going on in her mind. "You worry too much about the trifling opinions of that person, my dear niece. It has been months, surely many have moved on by now."
You stay silent, intent on finishing your breakfast instead of continuing this dance with your aunt and risk getting into an argument with her like you did many months ago. Sayuri sees the way you avoid her words and cannot help the lines from forming on her forehead. Perhaps she was too optimistic in hoping that the people will have found another event to talk about, knowing far too well just how much they will latch onto something scandalous and hardly ever let the rumors die, especially when it pertains to the noble families.
Sayuri grips her chopsticks tightly as she imagines just how smug that woman must be right now.
"If you change your mind, (Y/N), I will be leaving soon after breakfast."
The rest of the meal is spent in silence.
In many ways, both Kazuha and your aunt are right; the day is too beautiful to not be outside. But instead of leaving the premises of the small estate as your aunt would have wanted, you opt to let the sun soak your body until even your weary bones tingle with warmth while in the comforts of the garden.
You let your fingers graze through some of the growing flowerbuds, smiling in satisfaction at the healthy, verdant color of the leaves.
"I'm glad these Moonflowers are doing well, for a moment I was afraid the storm yesterday had uprooted them."
"Once they mature and bloom, we will be able to bask in their moonlight glow that rivals the celestial body itself," Kazuha says beside you.
You make a happy-sounding hum. "I can't wait to look at them from my room, maybe I can finally convince Aunt Sayuri to open that plum wine bottle."
You drift over to where the herbs are grown, the different aromatic scents mixing together into a heady perfume and in a flash you feel like you are in another corner entirely. Another time and place where things are much simpler, where there are also plants and flowers swaying with the breeze, but there is also a warm hand gently patting your head and a comforting presence giving you a smile as soft as petals.
You close your eyes in defiance of the memories, but they rise like the tidal waves, twisting your heart with their ebb and flow. Kazuha looks at you from the corner of his eyes, the way they become downcast betraying his concern and worry for you. He longs to be able to use more than just his words to make you feel better, something that can ease the creasing of your forehead and turn your frown upside-down. Something that can convince you he is there for you more than his constant presence by your side.
An audible crash and clamor break the both of you out of your thoughts. You both look to the source of the sound, originating from the part of the estate close to the kitchen. You hear bits and pieces of Kana's annoyed voice as it travels down the open corridor, and a moment later you see her walking by, her whole face scrunched up into a scowl.
"Is everything all right, Kana? I heard some sounds from the kitchen," you ask.
"Don't worry my lady, we just had a minor accident with Ayumi. That girl is clumsier than I thought." She shakes her head. "Now I have to help clean up her mess. I just hope I will be able to make the delivery to Konda Village in time."
"Do you mean the herbs that Konda Densuke needs?"
Kana nods. "I was hoping her first day would've gone better, but now I see I have to keep a closer eye on her."
You blink as a sudden thought comes to you. "What if I make the delivery for you?"
Kana jolts, her eyes wide with shock. "My lady, there is no need for that! I cannot ask you to do my work for me!"
"It's perfectly fine, Kana. Konda Village is only a walking distance from here, it would be no trouble at all."
"But-" Before she can continue her protests, however, another sound of something smashing and a high-pitched cry is heard. Kana's face twists in disbelief as she looks at the place where the sound came from.
"Maybe you should go check up on that," you suggest while sweat-dropping internally.
"Then excuse me, Lady (Y/N). Do you know what are needed?"
"I remember. Dewgrass, chrysanthemums, and some crystalwort leaves, correct?"
"Yes, my lady." Something breaks against the floor and you can almost see a vein popping out of her neck. "I better get going." She bows before rushing off, leaving you to begin to harvest the aforementioned plants and flowers.
"Are you sure you want to go the village, my lady?" You hear Kazuha ask as you bend down to pluck some chrysanthemums.
"If it's Konda then it's going to be fine, Kazuha. Besides, my aunt is always nagging for me to get out of the estate, this should satisfy her for once." You stand up with a bundle of golden flowers in hand. "Can you help me with the rest?"
"As you wish."
As the Morimoto Estate is only a walking distance from the Konda Village, it only took you and Kazuha about less than an hour or so to arrive at the gates with the sack of herbs. The serene atmosphere of the place is only broken once in a while by the lively chatter and sounds of the few young children running and playing around.
The smell of freshly-made dye and food cooking over open-air stoves fill the air, and you slow down for a moment to breathe it all in. There's something about this place that makes you feel more at peace than the city ever did, something about the calm way the people go about their day make you feel at ease.
The head of the village, Konda Densuke, breaks into a smile when he catches sight of you. "Ah, Lady (Y/N), it's a pleasure to see you. Are you passing by? Or do you need something?"
You offer a small smile in return. "It's always good to see you too, Densuke-san. I actually have the herbs you requested from my aunt."
"Oh my, you didn't have to go through the trouble of coming yourself." His eyes glint in gratitude as he accepts the sack.
"It's no trouble at all." You wave a hand dismissively.
"Why don't you sit down with us for some tea?"
"Oh no, I simply can't-" Your polite refusal is interrupted by the cheering and hollering of the village children as they bounce over.
"Kazuha-nii-san!!" Futaba and Takeru each get a hold of Kazuha's arms while the rest crowd around him. "Play with us!!"
"Eh?! But I want him to play the leaf flute for us like last time!!"
"Ah guys, wait. One at a time please." His voice is drowned out by the children's shouts, and he can only look back at you with a pleading look in his eyes. Your only response is to give him a closed-eye encouraging smile as he gets dragged away.
Densuke shakes his head affectionately. "Come Lady (Y/N), rest a while. We have a pot of tea ready, and Eri has just made some of her famous dango."
You follow him to an outdoor table that provides a clear view of Mt. Yougou and its towering spires, dotted sporadically with pink and purplish tops of sakura trees. If one stares long enough, they may even catch a glimpse of wispy trails of light encircling the mountains, signifying their sacred nature.
You quietly drink your tea while occasionally chatting with Densuke and the other elders, for once your shoulders feeling light like air as the soothing atmosphere lulls you into its hold. You don't trick yourself into thinking that these people haven't heard the rumors about you, but they either don't seem to care or don't want to bring them up in your presence.
Whatever they think of you, however, the way they treat you respectfully and is willing to interact with you makes you long to pretend for a moment that all is well.
The melodic sound of a flute travels with the wind and you turn around to see the children staring at Kazuha with the widest doe eyes as he brings a leaf to his lips and somehow is miraculously able to makes music from it. Their eyes sparkle with wonder and they cry out for him to do it again, do it again.
You see him chuckling and your heart can't help but be filled with warmth. Kazuha may not be the most talkative person, but it's clear the children love him, and seeing him smiling like that makes you feel such joy that at times it concerns you.
He catches your gaze and something about the way his eyes crinkle and soften, almost unnoticeable, makes your heart involuntarily skip a beat. You clear your throat and take a sip of your tea, more to hide your reaction no matter what you tell yourself.
"Oh, if it isn't Lady (Y/N)."
"Tejima-san." You greet him as you see him walks past. "How are you doing today?"
"Not too bad, I did a couple of odd things here and there."
"That's good." You're relieved to see him looking much more chipper than the last time you saw him, though you can still see the distant look hidden in his eyes, no doubt thinking about his special someone.
"By the way, there are some merchants wanting to buy some dye here, Densuke."
"I see, excuse me then, Lady (Y/N)."
You nod and he gets up to approach a man and a woman with a boy looking younger than you by a few years by their side. The two of them spare a glance your way momentarily, their eyes becoming round for a second before they quickly direct their eyes to Densuke.
The boy, on the other hand, is not doing a subtle job at looking at you. His eyes flit back and forth to you curiously while trying to be discreet, but you notice the way his eyebrows knit together, as if he is trying to place you. There is a flash of recognition on his face, but before it could culminate into anything, the woman had tugged him closer to her while hissing something into his ears, right before sneaking an anxious glance your way. He didn't look at you at all after that.
Your lips become a thin line at their reaction. You're sure you have never met them before, but they seem to know you.
At once, the tea tastes like bitter ash in your mouth, and you want nothing more than to stop the shiver from going down your spine and chill your skin.
Kazuha, ever perceptive, notices your sudden change in behavior and stiffness right away, having witnessed the looks the merchants were giving you.
"Sorry everyone, I have to go now."
"Ehhh??? But we want to play more with you, Kazuha-nii-san!" The children protest.
"I'll play more with you next time, all right?"
"Promise??"
"Promise." He pats Futaba's head and walks over to you. "My lady, I think we should return soon."
You peer up at him, wondering why he wishes to go back when he was having such a good time, but also silently grateful for his proposition. "Yes, I think we should."
You get up and say goodbye to Tejima and the other villagers. On your way out of the gate, you see the children waving their arms at you.
"Bye Kazuha-nii-san! Bye Lady (Y/N)!"
Kazuha waves back, and their innocent and enthusiasm cause a smile to make its way up your face despite your sullen mood. Even so, as you leave, you cannot help but feel several pair of eyes on your back, like a weight on your shoulders.
The journey back is mostly silent, but as you look up at the sky, you pose a question.
"Say Kazuha, do you think the moon will be beautiful tonight?"
Your silver-haired bodyguard closes his eyes in thought, the corner of his lips curving upwards. "I believe that is something we have to see for ourselves, my lady."
That night, when everyone is surely sound asleep and you are still wide awake with nary a hint of sleepiness, you look out of the window – unable to see the moon.
There are a series of barely discernable knocks against the glass panes, and you would have freaked out if not for the recognizable pattern of the knocks. You open the window to see Kazuha standing there with a smile on his face.
"I haven't been able to decide whether the fact that you're so easily able to sneak near my room is concerning or not."
Kazuha laughs softly at your quip. "At least I'm someone you trust. That is, you trust me, don't you?" He offers a hand to you.
"Do you even have to ask?"
And into the night you disappear.
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Taglist: @annie315 @tigerpriestess @artificial-heartache @cyberllamaprofessoregg @callmekatt @jaemin-paws @kazukazusbaby
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helloalycia · 3 years
Text
girl next door [three] // wanda maximoff
summary: the time has come where you realise your boyfriend just isn’t worth it, and your neighbour may or may not be an Avenger
warning/s: none i don’t think??
author’s note: part 3 is here! I kinda got carried away and wrote two more parts so my bad, but i hope you like it!
part one | part two | part four | part five | masterlist | wattpad
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I couldn't be bothered with today. I just wasn't in the mood to go to work, so of course, I procrastinated as much as I could in the morning until it was finally time for me to get out of bed without being late.
Teddy had fallen asleep here last night after we watched a film, but he left earlier for work, so it was just me. I knew I had to break it off with him, it was time. But I didn't know how to tell him without hurting him. So, I was cowardly in that sense, which was only worse because I was leading him on. I'll find a way to say something soon, I promised myself as I took my clothes off and wrapped a towel around myself.
When I headed to the bathroom, I immediately slipped on the wet floor that only one person could have left behind. But, unlike the many times I had done so, I wasn't able to catch myself and instead fell on my leg, hearing a deadly crack noise, forcing a scream from my lips.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I got out through gritted teeth, tears slipping from my eyes. The pain was unbearable and as I looked to my leg, I knew something was wrong because it instantly began to swell up and change colour.
Taking deep breaths to get through the pain, I tried not to imagine the several ways I was going to skin Teddy alive. He was so ignorant! How many times did I have to explain to him how dangerous it was to leave the floor wet?!
"It's okay, Y/N, you're okay," I told myself, before stretching and grabbing my phone from the side.
A striking pain shot up my leg and I suddenly felt nauseous, unable to deal with it. Swallowing hard, I called Teddy to give him a piece of my mind but also ask for his help since I couldn't move. Unfortunately for me, it went to fucking voicemail making me scream with frustration. I clenched my jaw as I tried to stand up myself, but more tears rolled down my cheeks as I accepted I was stuck.
The next person who came to mind was Wanda. If I was lucky and she wasn't at work, she'd be able to help me up and get me to a hospital.
I called her next and thankfully, unlike the arsehole that was my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, she answered.
"Hey, Y/N!"
I breathed out as calmly as I could. "Hi, Wanda. I, er, I need your help."
"Everything okay?" she asked with concern.
I nodded, though I felt really sick as I tried to avoid looking at my leg. "Yeah, well– no. This is really embarrassing, but I slipped on the bathroom floor and I think my leg is broken. Please can you come 'round and help me up?"
"Shit, Y/N, of course!" she exclaimed.
"Thanks," I got out breathily. "Spare key is taped under the plant pot outside my door."
"Just hold on," she insisted, before hanging up.
I dropped my phone to the side and glanced down at myself, definitely embarrassed that I was sat here in my underwear and bra, but also glad that I wasn't completely naked.
As promised, Wanda came as soon as possible and I heard her approaching the bathroom before she squeaked and covered her eyes.
"S-sorry!" she said, flustered. "I didn't mean to look. I just–"
"Wanda, you need to see if you're to help me up," I said as nicely as I could without snapping from the pent up anger reserved for Teddy.
She removed her hand, though her eyes wouldn't meet mine. "Right, yeah, duh. Okay, er..."
Successfully, she managed to lift me up and let me use her for support as we limped to my bed and I took a seat.
"Can you pass me my–"
"Clothes, right," she caught on, still not meeting my eyes, before moving around the room to grab a shirt and shorts.
I put my shirt on with ease, but she had to help me with my shorts as I tried my very hardest not to cry from the pain. My leg, or rather my knee, was turning a yellow-purple colour pretty quickly, making me flinch.
"How did this happen?" she asked with worry, gaze falling to my leg.
I clenched my jaw. "My stupid fucking boyfriend. I've told him so many fucking times to mop the damn floor! And he always says okay, but he never does! Oh, boy, when I get my hands on him, he's gonna wish he'd never been born!"
"Y/N–"
"And can you believe he has the audacity to have his damn phone switched off?! I could be dying and he wouldn't even know! That selfish, ignorant son of a–"
"Y/N!" she called, snapping me out of my rant. "Hospital."
"Right, hospital," I agreed. "No ambulances because they're way too expensive. Maybe you can get me down to a taxi and I'll take it from there?"
She raised her eyebrows with disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"
I mirrored her expression. "Er, no? Ambulances are like $700, and even with my insurance that's like $400. Taxis are, what, twenty bucks?"
She wasn't convinced as she crossed her arms and stared at me with uncertainty. I sighed and tried to stand up, but I pulled a face at the pain. She was quick to help me stand, giving me support on my right side.
"This is gonna take a while," I mumbled, biting back annoyance.
"Don't hate me," she said suddenly.
I looked to her, furrowing my brows. "What are you talking about?"
She avoided my gaze and instead swept me off my feet quite literally, taking me by surprise. I wrapped my arms around her neck on instinct, eyes widening as she held me close, bridal-style.
"Wanda, you can't just carry me like this," I said, though I was surprised at how strong she was.
She ignored me and walked out the bedroom before stopping at the fire escape. I gripped her tightly, wondering what the heck was going on. There was a hint of red in her eyes, startling me, before I noticed the two of us rising into the air. Levitation, to be exact.
"Woah!" I shouted, holding her as tightly as I could. "What the hell?! How–?! What–?!"
As she flew us away from our building, there was a red hue floating all around us, like an energy I'd never seen before. Except it seemed familiar... and that's when I put it together.
"You're that Avenger!" I blurted out. "The witch, the one with all the magical powers! You're– you're– Oh my God."
She frowned, eyes darting to mine apologetically. "I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
I swallowed hard, fearfully glancing over her shoulder at the clouds interwoven with the tall buildings of New York. Never in a million years did I think I'd be flying amongst them, with an Avenger nonetheless. She'd fought at the battle of New York, I remembered seeing her on the TV. She was dubbed an official Avenger not long after, but then coverage of her went quiet... because she'd moved away. It made so much sense now!
"I knew I recognised you," I said with disbelief, studying her face closely as I now knew who she was.
Her eyes still had a red hue surrounding her irises, matching the energy surrounding us as she flew us to, presumably, the hospital.
"I didn't intend to hide it," she explained guiltily. "I thought you'd figure it out. But then you didn't and it... it just never felt right to bring it up."
I thought back to the random hours she worked, the spontaneity of being called in for her shifts, her whole backstory for crying out loud... how stupid could I be?
"This... this is a conversation we should have," I said, nodding slowly, "but maybe not right now."
"Right, yeah." She nodded in agreement, jaw tensed as she stared ahead. "Just hang on."
After getting an x-ray at the hospital, the doctor told me I'd need to go into surgery so they could realign my knee – it wasn't anything concerning, but I wasn't exactly over the moon about it.
I returned to the hospital room to find Wanda had been waiting for me. I'd say I was surprised, but I was more grateful that she stayed. We hadn't had a moment to speak about her whole Avenger situation, and she was oddly quiet about the whole thing, so I decided to ease it into conversation whilst waiting for the doctors to return to prep me for surgery.
"You know, you didn't have to stay," I said to her, watching as she distracted herself with the stuff on the bedside table. "It's only a broken leg."
She stopped whatever she was doing and gave me a knowing look. "It's not only a broken leg. And I just thought you might like the company. Who else is going to make sure you're okay?"
I offered her a small smile. "Thank you. But the surgery is gonna take a while. I'll head home after and catch up with you then."
She seemed against the idea, but said nothing, before resuming whatever she was messing around with. The tissue box, I think.
"So... magic, huh?"
She swallowed visibly. "It's, er, not magic... at least, not exactly."
I hummed in acknowledgement, still adjusting to the fact that she had actual powers. It was amazing and unusual all at once.
"It's okay that you didn't tell me you know," I said gently, making her glance at me. "You apologised earlier. Back when we were–" I breathed out, still in mild disbelief, "–well, flying. You didn't need to. You don't have to be sorry about anything, Wanda."
She frowned. "But I lied to you."
Her Sokovian accent was more noticeable when she was upset, I noted. I wondered if she realised.
"You didn't lie, per say... more like bent the truth," I tried to make her feel better, stifling a laugh. "Either way, it's alright. Well, for me anyway. I don't know if you wanted to tell me or–"
"I did," she cut in with nod, eyes focused on me. "I wanted to."
I hoped she couldn't hear the way my heart rate picked up a little. "Okay, then I don't see a problem. You're still the same Wanda, just with a little something extra, right?"
Her shoulders relaxed and a small smile tugged at her lips. "Right."
I mirrored her expression, holding her gaze for a moment longer than necessary, before tearing away when I heard the doctor enter the room. After prepping me for surgery, I headed off into the operating room and made sure Wanda knew she didn't have to be there when I came back.
They put me under, so I wasn't awake until several hours later when I woke up to horribly bright, fluorescent hospital lighting and the accompanying nasty disinfectant smell filling the room. The first thing I noticed was the giant cast on my leg, followed by the sleeping brunette in the corner of the room that was Wanda. I would have questioned why she was there as my first thought, but I couldn't help but take notice of the lovely room I was in – for starters, it wasn't shared with other patients like I expected.
"Wanda," I called, my voice rough-sounding, but she didn't stir in the slightest.
I chewed on my lip as I found the remote that controlled my bed, using it so I could sit up. I was able to grab the water on my bedside table and take a few sips before calling for her again, sounding a lot better. To my relief, she began to wake up, eyes blinking open and looking around with confusion before realisation crossed her face and she settled on me.
"You're up!" she exclaimed, before a yawn escaped her lips.
"And you're here," I returned, hinting my confusion.
"I told you I was staying," she reminded me, before standing up and approaching my bedside. "Had to make sure you were okay. And obviously to help you home. By taxi, not flying, don't worry."
I smiled at her caring nature, expression softening at how cute she was.
"Also, before you ask," she added, "your hospital bills are taken care of. Hence the room."
I lost my smile, eyebrows raising. "Come again?"
She sat at the edge of my bed, getting comfortable as she looked out the window opposite us. "I didn't want you worrying about it, especially when none of this was your fault, so I called in a favour at the Avenger's compound. Tony owed me."
I almost forgot how to breathe as my eyes widened. "Tony Stark? The Tony Stark? He's paying for my hospital bills?"
She looked to me, a hint of panic in her eyes. "I hope that's okay. I mean, I knew you would say no, but I feel like I should've done something. You've done so much for me and it was only fair."
"I can't believe..." I trailed off, losing track of what I was going to say, still shocked. It made sense with her being an Avenger, but it was still hard to believe.
"You still with me?" she joked, her hand resting on mine.
I cleared my throat, ignoring the warmth from her skin touching mine. "Yeah, sorry. I just– wow. Still digesting is all."
"Don't worry too much about it," she said gently.
I nodded weakly, swallowing hard and avoiding her gaze.
"I should go get the doctor and let her know you're awake," she said, letting go of my hand. "You okay on your own for a minute?"
"Yeah, of course. Thanks."
After a chat with the doctor and an explanation of how everything would play out from here, I was getting ready to leave for home. I got changed out of the annoying hospital gown in the bathroom attached to my hospital room (another perk of Tony Stark paying for my bills – no shared toilet) and was in the middle of adjusting to my crutches in my room when there was a knock on the door.
Wanda and I paused as we looked up, and I was about to say for whoever it was to come in, but the person came in quickly and without waiting. To my bitterness, it was Teddy of all people.
"Oh my god, Y/N, there you are!" he exclaimed upon seeing me. "I got your message, both of them. I was so worried!"
In addition to the message I'd left him when breaking my leg, I also left him another before the surgery to see if he actually cared enough to check in. Clearly not.
I gripped my crutches to get out my frustration. "It took you long enough. I went into surgery five hours ago."
He scratched his head awkwardly. "I was at work."
I rolled my eyes, promising myself I wouldn't snap, but the annoyance of everything happening was building up and I couldn't help but blurt out, "I told you to mop up when you freakin' showered, Teddy!"
"I did!"
"No, you didn't!" I shouted, raising my voice. "If you did, I wouldn't be in this fucking cast!"'
He winced. "Are you, er, sure that it was the water that you slipped on?"
I clenched my jaw, knuckles turning white from how hard I was gripping my crutches. I didn't care that I was temporarily crippled, all I could see was red.
"Am I sure?" I repeated his question, tone laced with anger. "Am I sure?!"
I attempted to lunge forward, but Wanda seemed to know what I was thinking before I did it, holding me back suddenly.
"Y/N, just leave it," she mumbled, eyes meeting mine.
Something about the way she looked at me made my anger temporarily melt away, and I almost forgot why I was mad, until...
"Who are you?" Teddy asked with confusion.
Wanda and I looked to him, figuring he was just being his usual rude self, but he genuinely had no idea who she was as he studied her curiously.
She blinked with disbelief. "Wanda....?"
He waved his hand, motioning for her to say more.
Wanda raised a brow with offence. "Y/N's neighbour...?"
He pursed his lips, eyes squinted with thought.
Wanda almost scoffed. "Really? You got nothing?"
He chewed on his lip, genuinely stumped, and I couldn't help but groan with frustration, earning his attention.
"Of course you don't know who she is!" I glared at him. "You don't listen to a word I say! Not about this, not about mopping the floor–!"
"Y/N, just calm down!" he cut me off, only adding fuel to the fire.
"No," I said sternly, before nodding to the door behind him. "You can leave. You have no need to be here since we're not together anymore."
He raised his eyebrows with shock. "Seriously? You're breaking up with me? For what?"
I breathed out through my nose, genuinely stunned at how I managed to stay with him this long without either losing my mind or killing him. I could swear he wasn't this stupid when I met him.
His eyes fell to Wanda with distaste. "Is it because of her?"
"Did you actually manage to get stupider since this morning?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
"Because I totally accepted when you said you were bisexual," he continued, "but I didn't think you'd actually leave me for a woman."
I pressed my lips together, looking to my shoes as I tried to talk myself out of not killing him there and then. The fact that he was blaming the breakup on anyone but himself was disappointing but not surprising.
"Can you leave now?" I finally spoke, looking up to him with expressionless eyes.
His smile of disbelief turned into a scoff as he headed for the door. "Whatever. Your roast lamb is shit anyway."
I scrunched my face together with annoyance, unable to stop myself from yelling, "No it isn't!" as he walked out the door.
Unexpectedly, I saw the familiar red wisps of energy by the door before it suddenly slammed shut, smacking Teddy in the butt and propelling him forward with a start. He turned around to look through the glass, expecting to blame someone, but Wanda and I were nowhere near the door, so he glared our way before storming off.
"Sorry," Wanda said, referring to the door, lowering her hand and red eyes returning to normal. "He's just a real dickhead."
I tried not to laugh as I nodded in agreement, already feeling better. "You're not wrong there..." I sighed, losing my smile as I gave her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry for everything he said. Again."
Wanda rolled her eyes dismissively, shrugging her shoulders. "You should really stop apologising on his behalf. Especially since he's not your boyfriend anymore."
I relaxed my shoulders, leaning against the bed and looking to the floor. "Yeah, you're right... I just can't believe I put up with him this long."
Wanda didn't respond, but I heard her make a weird noise before she fake-coughed terribly, making me look up. Trying ever-so-hard to suppress a smile, she shook her head apologetically when she realised I noticed.
"Sorry, I– it's not funny," she attempted.
I smiled with amusement. "What?"
She licked her lips, before giving into her smile. "I just– I can't believe it either sometimes."
I breathed out with defeat, my smile turning into laughter alongside her. Eventually, she continued to help me with my crutches before I got the hang of it and the two of us began to leave the hospital. On the way out though, a random thought dawned on me and I stopped walking suddenly.
"What is it?" she asked worriedly.
I looked to her with curiosity. "That guy who stopped by your place a while ago. Your friend. Are you telling me that was–"
"Captain America?" she filled in with an amused smile. "Yeah."
"Woah." I was amazed, eyebrows raised as I let that sink in. I spoke to the Captain America and even implied he was a stalker. Woah.
"Come on, idiot," she laughed before leading me out the hospital, finally.
Breaking up with Teddy was long overdue, and whereas I thought I would feel bad for doing so, it was quite the opposite. I felt better, freer, unrestrained by the stupidity that was my ex. It was a few days after leaving the hospital when I found myself sitting on the couch with Wanda. She'd been helping me during my recovery, even though I insisted I was fine alone. She, of course, didn't listen though, and I was secretly glad because it meant I could spend more time with her.
"What about that fork? Can you move that?"
Wanda gave me a knowing look from the other end of the couch, amusement knitted in her smile. "Yes, Y/N."
To prove her point, her eyes glowed red and she flicked her hand, raising the fork on the dining table up in the air before setting it down.
I was amazed. "What about that cushion?"
She stifled a laugh before levitating the cushion between us and setting it down.
"And that book?"
"I have other powers, too, y'know," she pointed out, but levitated the book nonetheless.
I grinned. "Yeah, like flying."
She nodded in agreement. "Yeah, like that..."
And this.
"Woah!" I said with a start, eyebrows raised with surprise. "Did you just– what?!"
She laughed, the sound sending a swirl of butterflies in my stomach. Her eyes sparkled as she met my gaze, amused by my amazement.
"You can speak in my mind?" I asked in bewilderment.
"I can read minds, too," she continued.
"Wow." I breathed out, still not used to her having powers. Suddenly a thought came to mind and I glanced at her. "Have you, er, read my mind?"
"Never," she assured me, before adding with a head tilt, "at least not on purpose. Sometimes, if somebody's thoughts are too loud, I can't help but hear it."
I felt my face heating up as I avoided her eyes. "But my thoughts are quiet... right?"
Every potentially-embarrassing thought I'd ever had, including those I'd had of Wanda, came to mind and I suddenly grew nervous to her answer.
"Er, well, I mean..."
I looked to her when I heard her forming an answer, but the look on her face told me she had heard my thoughts at times and I ran a hand down my face with embarrassment.
"I promise it's never anything embarrassing or anything," she tried to make me feel better.
I groaned quietly, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Hey, I promise," she said with reassurance, before I felt her rest a hand on mine and squeeze it gently.
"What was the last thing you heard?" I asked, trying to veil my curiosity with a shrug.
I felt her gaze on me and looked her way to see green eyes sparkling with amusement. "Mostly you cursing at your ex."
Cracking a smile, I nodded. "Okay, maybe that's fine then..."
Her laughter surrounded us again and she let go of my hand before pulling her legs up on the couch to get comfortable and face me. She watched me with an endearing smile, making me unusually nervous.
"So, what other things can you do with your powers?" I asked, partially curious and partially trying to distract from my nerves.
She studied her right hand, red energy wisps at the tip of her fingers. "I can... I can throw energy balls," she remembered, looking to me before smiling, "but I won't demonstrate that since I'm sure you love your curtains."
"That I do," I said in agreement, leaning on the back cushion with my elbow as I faced her better.
"I can also manipulate thoughts, but once again, I'm sure you won't want a demonstration." She chuckled as she saw my change of expression.
"Yeah, no thank you," I said jokingly.
She pressed her lips together, thinking of what else she could do, but her smile faded into a thin line as a dark thought seemed to cross her mind.
"My brother had powers, too," she said quietly. "Super speed."
Since finding out who she was, I tried to piece together Wanda's background without bringing it up to her for fear it would upset her. It made a lot more sense why she'd moved next door now that I knew who she was, but she hadn't once brought up her family again until, well, until now.
"Pietro," I said, hoping I'd got his name correct. "Right?"
She nodded, lowering her hand and looking to me. "Yeah, that's him... he also had powers. It was actually what got him killed." She barely flinched as she spoke. "He saved someone's life in the battle against Ultron."
I sensed her sadness when her gaze softened as she finished speaking, and my heart ached now that I knew the truth.
"You don't have to tell me, Wanda," I said gently, hoping she didn't feel obligated to.
"No, no...," she shook her head, "it's nice to finally be able to tell you the truth. The whole truth. Not some rendition of it."
I nodded, relaxing under her stare. I was glad, too, to know she trusted me with such sensitive information about her life. It made me feel important, kind of like confirmation that I meant as much to her as she did to me.
"Do you think you're gonna go back to the Avengers tower anytime soon?" I asked. "I know you mentioned living here was temporary, so..."
It was selfish of me to think, but I hoped the answer was no. She hadn't said, but I gathered she hadn't been fulfilling her role as an Avenger as much as she should have been, as she was still on a break from there since grieving for her brother. But she seemed better than she did when she first got here, and if that meant she was going to go back there... I hoped it didn't, selfishly enough. I know the world needed another hero, but, I mean, did they?
"Trying to get rid of me already?" she teased, quirking a brow, making me smile with embarrassment. She noticed and added, "I'm kidding, Y/N. But to answer your question, no, not yet. Maybe not ever. I thought I would be here to get away from them whilst I grieved, but I've come to like it here. It's become my new home. I can still help them and not stay there."
I tried to resist the urge to smile like a weirdo. "Oh, cool. Yeah, I get you."
Calm on the outside, but over the moon on the inside.
"Though I may have to reconsider if my neighbour keeps using me like a carnival attraction," she added playfully.
I laughed, putting my hair behind my ear as I shrugged. "I'm sorry, I can't help it. It's just so cool that you have powers!" She laughed quietly, making my smile widen. I continued without thinking, "Plus, your eyes go this pretty red colour whenever you use them and I just think that's pretty neat."
She rolled her eyes playfully, but I was surprised to see her cheeks turn the colour of said powers. God, she was stunning. I was sure I'd always known that, but maybe I'd never acknowledged the thought. Now though... she was adorable when she bit back a smile and her hazel eyes sparkled with distraction.
Suddenly remembering the beautiful girl before me had the ability to read minds, I cleared my throat and tried to debate whether or not that would be classed as a 'loud' thought. I'd liked to think it wasn't, but now I wasn't so sure... what if this was a loud thought? And she could actually hear everything I was saying about her in my head? Oh, no... I was definitely overthinking this. It was nothing to worry about.
"You okay over there? I can practically read your mind."
I looked up and saw she was teasing again, though now that I knew she had powers, those words carried a double meaning.
"Yeah, yeah, sure you can," I played along dismissively. "Nice try, Wanda."
She shrugged, laughter slipping from her lips. "Okay, whatever you say."
Nah, she was definitely playing me... right?
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moon-lixie · 2 years
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"Were you this touch deprived?" The amusement could be easily missed in between the calm of your voice that threatened to melt under his fingertips.
"Yes," he answered immediately, no time for thinking needed, "when it comes to you I'm always touch deprived, I can never get enough of you."
word count: 1.970k
genre: fluff, Hyunjin x gn reader.
song: Wrong About Forever - Jeff Bernat
Every great waltz has its spins that make you feel like you're flying as the music pushes you further, Hyunjin wasn't a stranger to this concept, nor was he ignorant to the part in which the two people dancing move apart, stretching their arms as far apart as physically possible while their hands stay clasped together.
He, more than anybody, knew what it was to dance, to give yourself to music and get lost quicker than he could even realise.
What he wasn't familiar with were the matters of the heart, at that he had always been clumsy and hesitant, comparing love to a dance.
That's exactly why he could never understand when you walked away; his mind couldn't wrap itself around the concept of you leaving for good, in his heart there was always hope for a last dance.
Your face was carved into his memory, he could draw your every feature down on paper as easily as he could dance with his eyes closed.
Loving you wasn't a rational decision, it was an impulse, something he had grown to adore despite the difficulties it brought along.
The music filling the room suddenly faded, leaving behind the thrumming of his heart reverberating in his eardrums.
He had to admit there was always a bitter taste when that moment arrived, his body not being able to push any further and the music coming to an end.
If it was his decision then he would spend every second of his life doing the things that he loved, without the need of a break, without knowing what an ending meant.
But wishful thinking only ended up hurting his heart, bruising it carelessly as if he wasn't the type to hope on behalf of the entire world.
With a loud exhale he allowed himself to relax, shoulders loosening and eyes opening slowly, as if rushing through the process would be a mistake.
The first thing he saw was his reflection, the rolled sleeves of his shirt, hair clamped together on the front of his face because of his effort, lips parted and chasing an extra breath.
His surroundings were one of those places that gave comfort due to the long time it had been the background of his happiness, his passion for what he did had been sprawled all across the room.
Dragging his feet across the wooden floor, he scrambled to gather his things, barely remembering to grab his phone that had been discarded on the couch when he arrived if it hadn't been for the light buzzing sound coming from it.
The device loomed like a threat over his heart, having the ability to mend everything or put an end to one of those things he loved with an inimaginable fervor.
An unseen message had been sent in blue, waiting impatiently despite not being the first one sent between the both of you.
You had contacted him first; after two weeks of radio silence you had sent four words his way, typical of you.
'Can I call you?' It was unknown to him how long he had spent staring at the dark screen, forcing his eyes to trace the eleven characters that shaped your unorthodox way of asking for forgiveness.
Forgiveness for what? That he no longer knew, perhaps this time you had gotten scared of how ever so well you two worked together and that's why you had decided to walk away, or maybe there was a chance you had just gotten tired of him, again.
The game the both of you played didn't feel like the typical love he saw portrayed in movies but he couldn't find it in him to care, after all, dancing around you had never bothered him in the slightest.
With trembling fingers he had typed an answer, one word, three letters, a simple affirmation.
He tried to be quick, direct and concise; searching the deepest corners of his mind for the answer that could please you the most and immediately regretting the dry response.
But what had been done already wasn't something that should trouble his mind, even if it came to you, the person he craved to have by his side the most.
So, he had abandoned the mobile as soon as he stepped foot in the dance studio, leaving it screen against the couch in hopes that would soothe his anxious heart if only for long enough to enjoy his dancing.
Now that it buzzed with the call that could be the one he couldn't help but walk cautiously forward and take deep breaths before picking up.
"You're done with dance practice, right?" If he had ever wanted to get high on something, it was your voice, along with every single detail about you.
His lips curled into a satisfied smile. "Oh, so you do remember my number?"
A dry chuckle resonated on the line, forcing his mind to picture the scowl twisting the features of your beautiful face, portraying the guilt you never owned up to in front of him.
"Are you free?" Of course you would dodge his comment, but yet again, he couldn't bring himself to care, simply humming in affirmation.
"Okay, then see you in a bit."
Dumbfounded, an amused laugh found its way out of his lips. "Should I know what you mean by that?"
The harmless exasperation painted itself across your every word as you answered. "Do I really need to spell it out for you, Hwang?"
He was inexperienced when it came to love, very much so, but he was an expert when it came to you, always knowing what you meant, what you wanted, the things you needed.
Walking in the direction to your apartment he answered, "I'm afraid yes, I can't know what you mean if you don't explain it, now can I?"
You laughed annoyed, staying in silence for a moment; he couldn't have pushed things far enough yet, he could never, because you happened to love him just as much as he loved you.
"I miss you, okay? Happy now?"
"Very," he said, lips curling in a lovesick grin that shielded him even from the way you abruptly ended the call.
No matter how much you tried to walk away from him, suddenly cutting yourself from his life, you always came back, always stayed in the tiniest of details around him.
Perhaps that had been his mistake, to accept you even with that quirk of getting cold feet, because if only he had stopped it at once then it wouldn't have become a habit, a necessary routine.
But to love is to get tangled so awfully that you can't find your way out, only further falling into the mess of affection and longing.
The two of you just had your special way of working and tackling things, for instance, you hadn't talked to him for half a month and still your spare key remained under the pot of his favourite flower of yours.
Victory grin plastered on, he reached for the metal piece, opening the door of your apartment as if it were his very own home.
Alerted by his steps at the entrance you came to greet him, arms crossed over your chest as if to keep a final barrier between you and the man that owned your heart.
"I missed you too." Was the very first thing he said once he found your eyes staring right at his; it made you smile and he felt accomplished.
"Of course you did." His words melted you in an instant, making you move closer to him and take his hand in yours. "You always do."
And how could he not? How could he bring himself not to miss someone like you? Someone whose mere presence was intoxicating, seeping inside his muscles and veins, putting his being at ease.
Gently, he allowed the pads of his fingers to trace the outline of your nose, your lips, your chin, before leaning in towards you.
A firm hand against his chest stopped him on his track, causing a question to paint his face with confusion.
"You're all sweaty and you stink." You scrunched your nose adorably, as if actually bothered by his smell. "Go take a shower."
"But I want to kiss you first." A pout made his lips stand out, well aware that it sometimes worked wonders with convincing you.
"Nope, no kisses while you're all smelly." And just like that the both of you were back to normal, not caring to drag things for longer than they should with explanations or apologies that fell into deaf ears.
Against your petition he moved forward and embraced you in his arms, suddenly set on stone in making you squeal in complaint.
Moments later dragging you towards the bathroom despite the verbal refusal that didn't match with your eager steps trailing behind him.
Leaving his things forgotten on the entrance along with whatever fear he had harbored in his heart about this time being the time you would leave his side for good, he closed the bathroom door and kissed you.
Your lips felt unfairly soft against his, warm as a blanket that shielded people from every possible unfavorable outcome life could have prepared for them.
Sure hands moving to clasp on the hem of your shirt, slowly moving it upwards the further he got lost into the kiss.
Piece by piece he undressed the both of you until you were down to heart and soul, truths lying bare for eyes to pry and discover the biggest vulnerability in them.
Knowing the place as well enough as his own home, he turned around to set the water into the perfect temperature for the both of you, never cold.
Then he led you like you needed to be held, careful and attentive, eyes never leaving yours in a new attempt to learn every detail embedded in your pupils.
He turned you around, pressing your back against his chest and hugging you close until there was no space in between, his lips finding the way to your shoulder, pressing soft kisses meant to fix any remnants of doubt.
"Were you this touch deprived?" The amusement could be easily missed in between the calm of your voice that threatened to melt under his fingertips.
"Yes," he answered immediately, no time for thinking needed, "when it comes to you I'm always touch deprived, I can never get enough of you."
He couldn't be more honest even if he was asked to testify in court and make a pledge that allowed him to say nothing but the absolute truth, because he loved you with an intensity that sometimes could be mistaken as meek due to it's soft and innocent nature.
Hyunjin loved you the way someone loves something unobtainable, innocent and patiently, willing to wait entire lifetimes for stars to align and give him the pleasure of being in your presence.
Your hands moved to rest atop his where they were clasped together against your bare torso, thumbs escaping to rub soothing circles into your skin.
Trailing kisses up your neck he allowed himself to hope that every one of his touches reverberated with warmth all the way to your heart in the same fashion that yours did to him.
For you he would learn how to love properly, he would even understand to let go if that was what you truly wanted at some point in the future.
"I love you." The words felt like dripping honey as they slipped in between his lips for the very first time.
"I love you too," you answered, not even leaving time for him to panic at the sudden frankness with which his deepest sentiment had been revealed.
For a love like yours, he would always wait, always fight to make things better.
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fanmoose12 · 3 years
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As all horrible things do, it starts out with a peaceful moment.
The day, when it begins, is humid and hot, the promise of storm is prominent in the air.
But for now, it's just a promise, and Levi allows himself not to worry. The large tree hides him in its shadow, the grass providing a soft pillow for his body, and Hange is pressed against him, her fingers writing the secrets of universe on his skin.
She murmurs something to him, too soft for Levi to catch. He means to ask her to repeat it, but then his eyes meet hers, and the honey brown of her irises entrances him so much that everything else flies out of his head. He thinks of making love to her right there and then, with the sun as their witness. That douche Apollo would certainly like it...
His lewd plans must have reflected on his face, because Hange shakes her head and tuts, "Levi, Levi... You don't listen to me. What if I was going to say something important?"
"Everything you say is important."
It slips out of his lips unprompted, unexpected. Levi blames in on the sun. Apollo, that deceiving bastard, must have loosen his tongue.
Hange widens her eyes and her mouth falls open in an expression of pure wonder as though Levi has done something incredible.
"Oh, Levi," she whispers, her voice softer than the wind.
She props herself on her elbows to raise up and get closer to him. There is a smile on her face, one that tells him that Hange is going to kiss him. One that promises that the kiss is going to be full of passion, sweetness and love.
Hange hovers just above him, only inches separating their lips. Levi waits for her to shorten that distance, and just before Hange does...
Someone behind them clears their throat. Levi and Hange abruptly turn around, staring at their intruder. Due to the scorching sun and the promise of that kiss that haven't been fulfilled, it takes Levi a long moment to recognise who has disturbed them.
As soon as he does, he hurries to hide Hange behind his back, protecting her with his body.
The god's messenger - Hermes - laughs and takes a step forward. Levi tenses, pushing Hange back just a little further. He doesn't trust gods, never did. And he has a damn good reason for that.
The messenger stays silent for a lengthy moment, and Levi starts to hope - maybe, it's just a mistake. Maybe, he'll leave them alone. The hope grows and grows until-
Until Hange opens her mouth.
"Did Apollo get jealous of our quiet afternoon? Does he wish to join?"
The joke is ill-timed, ill-advised and all around terrible. Levi should have scolded Hange. Instead he snorts alongside her.
Hermes doesn't bat an eye. He doesn't even glance at Hange, as though Levi is the only one here. Perhaps he should feel relieved that Hange is supposedly sparred from god's anger for one deed or another. However, he feels a slight irritation at the apparent disregard for her person.
"Levi," the god speaks. "You have been summoned to the Mount Olympus. Come with me and I'll take you there."
The words spoken surprise him, but Levi doesn't let it show on his face.
"No," he says resolutely. "I have no business with gods."
"You have now."
Something in Levi snaps at the indifferent tone of the messenger's voice. He means to raise up, to come closer to him, but Hange holds him back, her touch both reassuring and calming.
"What do you want from Levi?" she asks, and Hermes shoots her nothing more than a quick, uninterested glance.
"It doesn't concern you."
Levi's anger boils to a frightening point. God or no god, Levi won't let anyone treat Hange like that.
"Whatever concerns me, concerns Hange too. So answer her question, or leave and don't come back."
"And why did I even bother..." Hermes mutters.
He raises his hand, snaps his finger and- and Levi starts falling.
When he opens his eyes, the peaceful afternoon, the scorching sun, Hange's warm body - it's all gone. What he has now is a cold, marble floor and dozen pairs of eyes staring down at him from giant, grand thrones.
Instinctively, he reaches out for Hange only to find that both of his hands are bound.
"Hange-" everything else dies on his tongue, when he sees Hange with two men restraining her. Levi furiously fights against his bounds, desperate to get to her, to make sure she is safe and unharmed.
Hange meets his eyes and shakes her head. Calm down, I'm fine, her gaze tells him, don't do anything stupid.
Levi wants to do something stupid so badly, he wants to free himself and hurt those who dared to lay hands on his Hange. He wants to unleash his anger and destroy everything and everyone here, leaving nothing behind.
But it's not a shady tavern, Levi reminds himself. It's a Pantheon, and one should never anger gods. It was the first lesson Levi's childhood taught him.
That lesson is the one he would never forget, so more for Hange's sake than his own, he forces himself to forget about his anger. He turns to look straight ahead and nearly chokes as he comes face to face with him.
He saw that man only twice in his life, back when he was no more than a skinny brat. Levi thought him a mere human back then, not an almighty god, the king of kings.
He didn't change since since then - the same lushious brown hair, the same piercing green eyes, the same infuriating smirk.
All this time Levi thought that the man who killed his mother was a wealthy merchant or an influential politician. A powerful, yet simple mortal. Turns out, his mother's murderer is Zeus himself.
But reverence before god's might and fear of their punishment doesn't ease Levi's anger. The desire to hurt the man in front of him only grows.
"Kneel," someone behind him urges, but Levi only raises his chin in defiance. He would rather visit the Underworld and stay there than kneel before that scum.
"Kneel," they demand again. Levi stays unmoving. He stares at his so called father with all fury in the world. If Zeus is really his his father, if he is really a son of the king of gods himself, then if he glares hard enough, maybe, the bastard will go up in flames. Maybe, the lightining will strike him or-
The pained grunt interrupts Levi. He looks to his left to see Hange- his Hange lying on a floor with her face pressed to cold marble and a man standing above her, his foot on her back. Levi wants to rage, wants to kick and scream and tear the man who dared to touch her to pieces.
But it will do him no good. It will do Hange no good, so he surrenders.
He gets down on one knee and bows his head - not in reverence, but to hide his burning eyes.
His father laughs. "Welcome to my palace, son. How do you like it?"
I don't, Levi wants to say, but they have Hange. And her wellbeing is more important than his petty anger.
"It's marvelous, all songs don't do it justice," Hange's voice rings. Levi turns to her with wide eyes, even now, bound and overpowered, she tries to protect him. "Is there a reason you were gracious enough to invite us here, my lord?"
"A fierce one," his father chuckles approvingly. He raises his hand, waves it and Hange starts to scream. "But not very smart. Mortals have no right to speak up in this place."
Levi's vision clouds with specks of violent red. His hands are shaking with anger and rage, he desperately wants to-
Hange catches his eye and subtly shakes her head. I'll be fine, my love, she wordlessly tells him, hush and don't fret.
Levi tries his best to do as Hange says. He raises his head and meets his father's eyes.
"Why did you call me up here?" keeping his voice straight and calm takes a considerate effort, but Levi does his best. For Hange.
"My son," the allfather's voice carries around the large chamber. "I have a job for you. The Titans have risen up in power. They seek to have my place, to take what it's rightfully mine. I need you to destroy them for me."
Destroy... Titans? Even the notion of it was ridiculous. Do gods have no one else that'd be more suited for this job?
"I'm not strong enough for this mission," he says. "Find someone more powerful than me."
"You're my son," Zeus' eyes flash with anger. "There is no one more powerful and skillful than you. You will do this for me, Levi. Or..."
His father shifts his gaze to Hange, a smirk pulling on his lips. "Or I'll do to your lover the same thing I did to your mother. And the child that grows inside her will suffer an even more horrible fate."
A child? Levi's heart falls. He slowly turns to Hange, but she seems just as bewildered by this. She looks down to her stomach, then back up at Levi. Her eyes fill with understanding, and then - they start to fill with rebelious fire. Hange is not afraid, but that feeling has always been unknown to her.
Levi, on the other hand, is afraid. He is terrified for Hange, for their child, but he doesn't let fear get to his head.
If his father insists on him fulfilling this mission, Levi will submit. On his own conditions.
"I see you've already saw the reason," Zeus smiles. "My son, with time you'll realize what an honor I've bestowed upon you. You will be sung about in songs, you will be remembered and praised for the rest of your life."
Levi wants to scoff, as if he desires to have any of it. His only wish is to have a peaceful life with his Hange and their child, without any gods or deities interfering.
"And if you're so worried about succeeding, I'll give you the means to defeat every foe. You'll receive my lightining bolts..."
"No," Levi says. "You will give them to Hange."
His father laughs again. "Until you defeat my enemies, son, your lover stays with me."
A shudder runs through Levi at the thought of leaving Hange behind with him. The memories of his mother's corpse flash through his mind,and straighten his resolve.
"Hange will come with me, or I won't go at all."
The lightening cackles in the air.
"Are you trying to bargain with me, boy? Don't anger me, or your lover..."
"Lift a finger in her direction, and you'll have to look for another child of yours. I may not be able defeat you, father," he spits the word like a curse. "And every other god that will want to stop me, but hurt Hange and I will certainly try. You need me to defeat Titans for you, and I need Hange with me."
Somewhere behind Levi, the lightening strikes, the thunderous ripples reverberating through the marble floor and walls. Levi doesn't flinch.
His father nods, as though he is impressed. "You clearly are my son. you're just as fiery. I wanted to keep your lover safe, but be it as you wish, the mortal will go with you. I should warn you, however, the journey won't be an easy one."
"Hange is strong. And without her, I'm ten times weaker."
Zeus waves his hand at the soldiers that hold Hange. They release her, and Levi instantly reaches out, firmly grasping her hand. Already, he feels that much calmer.
"You have nine moons to finish your mission, my son. If the child of that mortal is born and the nine Titans still don't meet their end, I'll take the child and kill your lover. I'll be watching your journey. And I hope you won't disappoint me."
Levi can barely nod, before the world around him changes again.
He's back in their little garden once more, and as soon as he catches his footing, he pulls Hange to him and holds her in his arms.
He inhales the sweet scent of hers, his whole body trembling. Apologies want to tumble from his mouth, but Hange interrupts his laments with a low laughter.
"So your father is Zeus himself? I should be more careful while making love to you from now on... What if I make you feel so good, you'd start blasting lightening from fingertips?"
It's just like Hange to find a joke in everything. Levi can't help but chuckle along with her.
"Maybe, it'll knock some sense into you..."
"You've knocked me up already, my love," Hange giggles, and Levi wants to kick her. He also wants to bury himself in her embrace and stay there for all eternity.
"That's all you've got to say?" he takes a step back to glance into her sparkling eyes. "What about my father? Aren't you surprised?"
"My love," Hange cups his cheek, leaving a ghost of a kiss on his lips. "Why must I be surprised? I always knew you were special."
***
It takes them a whole month to track the first Titan.
He is huge, bigger that Levi could ever imagine, but he’s also old and barely able to move when they find him.
Levi slices his neck and marvels at how easy it was. Hange runs up to him as soon as the Titan disappears and gives him a kiss that makes him weak in the knees.
She gives him a wide smile when they separate, and Levi smiles right back.
One Titan out of nine is defeated, and Hange didn’t even have to get involved. That gives them more than enough reason to celebrate, and they do it under the stars near the glistering lake.
Hange punctuates every kiss with a sweet praise and soft confession. When Levi is near his peak, she draws back and curves her lips in a tantalizing smirk.
“Careful now, my love,” she teases, while Levi can’t do nothing but huff and grunt at her. “Don’t kill me with your lightening…”
“I won’t if you do the job right,” he shoots back, pulling Hange down for another kiss.
She laughs as he nibbles at her jaw and lets Levi flip them around, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“If I die in your arms, Levi,” she whispers. “I’d shame the gods themselves with my happiness.”
***
Their next victim is harder to defeat. He’s not so big, but he seems younger. When Levi approaches, his blade already drawn, the creature grows mad with rage.
Levi gestures for Hange to stay back, and she does.
Up until the Titan launches his first attack.
Levi docks but not to evade the Titan’s massive arm. Hange starts throwing the lightning bolts they got from Zeus, aiming them with breathtaking precision. The creature roars, as one of the bolts hits him right in his eyes.
“Levi, go!” Hange shouts, and he doesn’t waste another second. He cuts the Titan’s legs and waits for him to fall. When he inevitably does, Levi is already there, right next to his nape. He slashes it without hesitation.
Hange lets out a joyous cry, launching herself on Levi. “We did it, again!” she happily laughs.
“I told you to stay back,” Levi scolds her, but Hange just keeps laughing.
“But, my love, you know me. I hate staying out of action.”
***
That night, when they make love in a small clearing in a dark forest, Hange doesn’t praise him.
Instead, she goes on and on, complimenting herself.
“You’re so lucky, Levi,” she husks as her hands roams his chest. “To have a lover as gifted as me. My aim is as precise as Artemis’, my wits are sharper than Athena’s swords, my beauty can rival Aphrodite’s…”
The gods always listen, and what Hange says will undoubtedly anger them all. But Levi is high on their victory, high on their love, so he doesn’t care about it now.
He throws his head back, when Hange moves her hands from his chest to his stomach and then even lower. He moans when Hange grabs him and whispers, “And your ego is as big as Ares’.”
The pleasure Hange was giving him disappears.
“I am as gifted as gods,” Hange straddles his hips and pins his hands above his head. She licks her lips, her eyes flashing, as she revels in his quiet whimper. “And my punishment can be just as severe…”
Levi is absolutely spent when Hange takes mercy on him. She curls around him, and watches his attempts to catch his breath with a wicked smile.
If this is the kind of punishment he’ll keep receiving, Levi is ready to defy gods every waking moment of his life.
***
"This one is different," Hange whispers in his ear as together they observe the Titan's movements. "The skin is..."
"Weird," Levi finishes for her.
Weird is not colorful enough to describe this Titan. Where the other looked vaguely human-like, this one does not. Its skin is too white and its body too long. The mouth doesn't look normal too.
"Be careful," Hange warns, when Levi pushes himself off the rock they've been leaning against.
"Don't intervene," he shoots back.
Hange grins and doesn't even give him a courtesy of promising to stay out of it. With her trusty bolts, she starts running towards the Titan, an excited cry tearing from her lips. Levi curses andhurries after her.
Together they defeat the Titan in mere minutes, despite its many abnormalities.
Later that evening, they go to the nearest town and buy grapes and bread. Hange demands to buy wine but Levi points to her stomach, and she stops arguing right after that.
Hange isn't showing yet, barely two and a half moons have passed since the child was apparently conceived, but she's been growing moodier with each day and she often complains about the ache in her back.
"That's your fault, Zeus' descendent," she huffs as she tries to get comfortable around him. "You tricked, seduced and dishonored me in the most terrible fashion."
Levi rolls his eyes and doesn't point out that it was Hange who bewitched and seduced him. And she never had any honor or shame to begin with. He just pulls her closer and pops a grape into her mouth. Hange smiles as she tastes the sweet fruit.
"Although I have to admit," she says after she swallows it. "I didn't imagine that Zeus is you father."
"Who did you expect it to be then?"
"Don't know," Hange shrugs. "Hades, maybe? Both of you have the same dark and wicked scowl."
His scowl can get too dark, but it's certainly not wicked... But for now, Levi wants to know something else.
"How did you guess I wasn't mortal?"
"Well," Hange flicks hair out of her face and opens her mouth, asking Levi for another grape. With a sigh, he complies. Hange gives him a grateful smile and continues. "Sometimes you pick up stuff that should be too heavy for you. And sometimes you move too fast for me to follow. But more importantly..."
"Yes?"
"You're too handsome to be a mere mortal. And when you make love to me, it feels absolutely divine..."
Hange laughs and Levi scoffs. He leans closer and kisses her laughter away.
"If there was a god of stupidity, Hange,” he whispers against her lips. “You'd be their child."
***
The fourth Titan they encounter is the strongest one yet.
It's different from all others, its fur covered body and long ears more beast-like than human.
"I don't like that one at all," Hange mutters and Levi silently agrees. Just looking at that Titan makes him wish that he had left Hange back home, where she and their child would be safe.
But Hange isn't at home, and Levi likes to think that she is safer here with him than with his father and the rest of his kind on Mount Olympus.
"Looks like a monkey," he mutters. "A really ugly one," he adds just to make Hange laugh.
"We can't all be beauties like you," she slings an arm over his shoulder and presses a kiss to his cheek. "Good luck, Levi."
Hange means to move away, but Levi doesn't let her. He catches her hand and brings her back to him, pulling her to his chest. Something is wrong with that Titan, something about him... makes his throat constrict with fear.
"Hange," he breathes all air out of his chest and fills it with her sweet scent. He doesn't ask her to stay back, knows it's pointless, but that horrible feeling inside, the fear and almost certainty that something will go wrong... it forces Levi to embrace Hange just a little bit tighter.
"I'll be alright, my love," Hange whispers. "We both will be."
Of course, they will – how could they not? Levi is a son of Zeus, and Hange is brighter and more brilliant than any other mortal or deity.
They will be alright, he keeps repeating it in his head as he starts running to the Titan.
Something is definitely wrong with that Titan, because when Levi approaches, the giant creature smiles. It smiles and then looks away, turning— turning to Hange.
Levi’s heart stops.
The Titan lowers his enormous, clawed hand, and before Levi can move, before Levi can find it in himself to breathe, the beast snatches Hange up in the air.
Levi doesn’t remember what happens next, doesn’t register his next moves. His vision fills up with red and his chest is heavy with rage.
He sees nothing but blood, blood, blood. He is covered in it when the Titan crushes down and Levi catches Hange up in his hands.
He falls to the ground with her, pulling her on top of him. It is only when he hears Hange’s heartbeat, his own finally starts up again.
He breathes in deeply – once, then twice, and when the trembling in his hands ceases, he lowers Hange down and methodically checks her, looking for wounds and injuries.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she keeps repeating, but she is not. There is a long and deep scratch on her leg and bruises all over her forearms and chest. Her stomach seems unharmed, but Levi still presses his ear to it and prays he hears something there.
“It’s still there,” Hange gently brushes his hair. “It’s still there, I can feel it. We’re alright, my love. All three of us.”
He leaves a tender kiss there and thanks his yet unborn child for being so strong. He then picks Hange up and carries her to the nearby stream. Hange protests and tries to kick him, but Levi just holds her tighter. After what has just happened, after what he’s just felt, he just wants for Hange to be close, needs to feel her warmth and know that she’s still with him.
He cleans her wounds by the stream and dresses every injury with a great deal care.
“Levi?” Hange asks, when later that day they sit by the fire. Levi is curled around Hange, and he kisses her shoulder to tell him he’s listening. “That Titan...”
Levi’s blood boils just at the mention of that beast. His mind flashes with memories of Hange in its arms, there up in the air. For the first time in his life, Levi thanks his unhuman instincts. If he came just a second later…
“I think he was sentient, Levi. Not like an animal, but almost like… almost like human.”
The tone of her voice, the almost defeated notes he can hear in it, Levi doesn’t like where this is going.
“What if they’re not mindless beasts like we’ve been told they are? What if they’re just like us?”
“Hange…” he says, a gentle precaution.
But Hange perseveres. “He didn’t attack you, but decided to go for me. He ignored you, even though you’ve posed a bigger threat, because he recognized that I was your weakness. Animals can’t be so smart. Only humans are.”
Levi sighs. He can’t bring himself to say it out loud yet, but he agrees with Hange. There is something more to the Titans that they’ve been told. There is something more to the Titans that his father has shared.
“The next Titan we meet…” Hange turns to look at him, her eyes pleading. “Can we observe them a bit more? Maybe…”
“Maybe,” Levi echoes. He presses his forehead against Hange’s and promises, “Next time we’ll do it your way.”
***
Hange’s belly grows in the time it takes them to find their next Titan. If situation had been any different, Levi would have been adamant about her staying back, but he promised her they’d get to the bottom of this together.
And he intends to keep that promise until…
Until they locate their target. And realize that they’re dealing with not one, but three Titans.
Images of Hange’s body flying around like a ragdoll still wake him up in the middle of the night with a hoarse scream on his lips, and it was just one Titan. Levi doesn’t want to know what will happen if they’ll fight three of them. He turns to Hange, intent on making her sit this one out, but then Hange points her finger, forcing him to follow its direction.
When he does, Levi sees the three Titans. Who are running in the opposite direction from them.
“Let’s catch up with them!” Hange urges.
Despite carrying a child for almost six moons, Hange gets on a horse surprisingly easy. She waits for Levi to get behind her before spurting the horse in pursuit.
It takes them a better part of an hour to get close to the Titans. When they do, Levi jumps from a horse and starts to approach the giants. He makes sure that his steps are slow and measured, as unthreatening as possible. But just as gets close enough, the Titans turn from defence to offence.
The one in the middle - the one that looks like he's covered in armor - steps forward and raises his arm.
"I don't want to hurt you!" Levi shouts, but this only spurs the creature on.
Before he can crush Levi with his might, Hange jumps right in front of the Titan, her arms spread wide.
"Please, stop!" she yells, frantically moving her arms up and down. "We just want to talk, we mean no harm!"
The Titans exchange looks between each other, before the one with blonde hair nods her head.
"We will listen," she says. "But you have to lay down your weapons first."
Hange grins, looking at Levi with a childish wonder. She grabs his blade and throws it out before approaching the three giants.
"So," she takes her time to study each of them, her grin growing wider and wider. She rubs her hands when she finishes, looking almost feral in her excitement. "I have a plan."
***
Hange's plan is ridiculous, risky and possibly not worth the effort. But Hange charms the Titans with her passionate words, and then turns to Levi with a smile that has charmed him all these years ago. She has all of them convinced in less than an hour.
"If you were humans before, you can be turned back again," Hange says like it's that easy.
"If there is a way to do it, we don't know how," the tallest and largest one replies.
"But if there is someone who knows..." the one with armor around his body begins uncertainly.
The one with a blonde hair sighs. "If there is someone who knows, it can only be her. Give me your map, I'll show you where to find her."
"Well," Hange meets Levi's eyes and winks, absolutely radiant in her briliance. "That's already a start."
***
That her turns out to be another Titan. Unlike the others of her kind, she walks on all fours and looks like an ugly, hairless dog. Her companion is even worse - with large jaw and disproportionate body, he simply looks awful.
"Try to be nice, Levi," Hange chides, when he shares his observation with her. "They're possible allies."
Levi doesn't completely understand what's the point of all of this, but he always trusts Hange, and this time is no exception. He follows her to meet these new Titans.
Surprisingly, they listen to Hange patiently, at least, the one resembling a dog does.
But when Hange finishes, she shakes her head, sadness and remorse reflecting in her giant eyes.
"The curse turned us into this. And we can be turned back only by the person who did this to us."
"And who is it?" Levi asks, although he feels like he already knows an answer.
"Zeus," another Titan replies. "You came to finish what he started, didn't you? I can smell his stench all over you."
"He ordered us to come," Hange agrees, her voice placating. "But we do not wish to follow through with his order. Perhaps, if there was another way..."
"With you on our side..." Titans stare at each other, seemingly holding a silent conversation. Whatever decision they come to, it is in Levi and Hange's favor. "Perhaps, we can truly find another way."
***
It takes them two more moons to formulate their plan.
As they go over details again and again, the sky above them grows heavier and darker, and Levi feels lightening in the air. It's not a storm, not yet, but it is worryingly close enough.
As the weather continues to worsen, Hange's stomach continues to grow. The baby's kicks grow so strong, even Levi can feel them now - he delights in it every time he does.
By the time they're finished with the plan, Hange is already too late in her term. Going without her is out of question, Levi doesn't want to leave her alone and he doesn't wish to do this without his better half. They all agree to wait until the baby is born.
On the day their child feels like it's ready to see the world, the storm starts in earnest. The wind flies around and the sky is completely black with only flashes of lightening illuminating it all.
Hange's screams mix with thunder, and Levi holds her hand throughout it all, trying to soothe her pain with gentle touches and kisses.
When the baby finally arrives, it takes his breath away.
She is absolutely beautiful because she is unmistakably theirs.
Levi smiles when he sees a patch of black hair, and his heart swells, when the baby opens her eyes and he sees the familiar honey brown.
Just as she opens her eyes, she starts screaming and kicking, and Levi thinks 'yes... this is definitely Hange's child.'
They don't have the time to pepper her sweet rosy cheeks with kisses, marvel at her beauty or get tired of her wailing.
The storm grows stronger, and Levi knows that he is waiting.
They put the child in a small crib Levi made just days ago and they tuck her in, stopping just for a second to stare at her in awe.
"Take care of her for us," Hange asks their allies. They all give her a nod and position their large bodies protectively around the crib. "Thank you," she smiles. "We promise to take care of you too."
As soon as these words leave her mouth, the ground below them disappears. Levi takes Hange's hand in his at the very last moment.
He keeps holding it as they return to a marble throne room.
The guards try to separate them just as they did the last time, but Levi doesn't let them. He glares at them defiently and holds Hange close to him.
"My son," his father begins with a false sweetness in his voice. "Your time is up, your child is born. Then why the Titans continue to live?"
"I thought you could help us with that, father. It is your curse that had created them after all. Lift it and their threat will cease to exist."
"It's not what we had agreed upon."
"But it's a much easier way."
Zeus' eyes flash with fury, the lightening dancers around his fingers. "Do you dare to defy me?"
Levi keeps his head raised high, as he stares up at his father. "I'm just offering a different sollution."
"You will pay for that."
"If I will, so will you. The Titans have gathered, there is a small number of them, but they're strong, maybe, strong enough," he glances up at the gods seated on their grand thrones, "than some of you. Do you wish to test if it is true?"
"Insolent boy," his father growls, but Levi knows his anger means nothing.
There are whispers all around him, hushed and concerned. Other gods don't wish to have another war, not if they're not sure that they can win it. And if Zeus doesn't submit, then he risks starting a war even grander that against Titans - a war among gods.
"I will lift the curse," he grits through his teeth.
"And you will leave us alone," Hange adds in a singing voice.
Zeus' glare is impressive, but Levi isn't afraid of it anymore. He knows it can't burn people.
"That's all we wanted to discuss," Levi fails to hide the smugness from his tone. "And now if you excuse us..."
"We have a daughter to return to," Hange finishes.
The gods sigh in relief when a demigod and his mortal disappear from their realm. History has taught them just how much destruction a grieving lover can bring. They thank Tyche for their luck.
***
When Hange and Levi return to their world, they find that the Titans are gone. Instead five humans are waiting for them, gathered around a crib with a wailing baby.
The storm is over and the sun is shining brigthly.
Hange kisses the back of his hand and murmurs, "We did it, my love."
Levi smiles and together, they come to hold their baby girl in their arms.
And like all joyous things, this one starts perfectly.
143 notes · View notes
boobz-fye · 3 years
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Comforting them after losing a game
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Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.
Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)
Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!
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Oikawa Tooru~
It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.
Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”
Ushijima Wakatoshi~
Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.
Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.
Kageyama Tobio~
Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.
You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.
Akaashi Keiji~
It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.
As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.
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morosemagick · 3 years
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Listen, Before I Go | Finan x Reader One Shot
Welcome to my first one shot/first Reader!Fic.
Be gentle, I'm trash.
Warning: Major Character Death, (its sad, okay, idk what else to say.)
Words: 3847
Tagged:
@solinarimoon @lauwrite1225
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You had seen many things in your life as a traveling healer. Wounds and illnesses alike, taking you from place to place wherever people may need you. Taking care of people was in your blood. Both your parents were healers, and you planned on using all they taught you to care for people around the world. And yet, when you met Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his crew of accident-prone warriors in the aftermath of the battle at Tettenhall, something inside you told you to stay. A feeling in your heart, telling you that no one will ever need you more than they would. Over the months that passed, that feeling proved true. You healed every cut, bruise, and battle wound they would come to acquire. Each wound healed was a bond growing stronger with each man in Uhtred’s service, including your lord himself.
Osferth, the first of the Coccham boys you healed. His kindness was always warming to the heart. Sihtric, who spoke often of his wife and joked about his desire to return to her in one piece. And of course, Finan, whose laugh made your heart skip a beat and smile did things to you that was certainly ungodly. They were your family, and you loved them all dearly.
And you would do whatever it took to save their lives.
Especially now, when they needed you most.
“Sihtric!” You scream out at the sight of him, bloody and broken. The snow falls thick and heavy around you, stained red with the Danish man’s blood and Osferth and Finan work together to lift him from the ground.
“We got him, Y/N, just go!” Finan yells out, and you nod okay. The storm is picking up and though the raiders that ambushed you are dead, none of you are out of the woods yet.
Up ahead is a cave. It’s cold and dark but it’s dry, and getting Sihtric out of the storm is your main priority.
“This way, to the cave!” You call out as you lead the men forward, being sure to check for any unfriendly creatures that might be hiding out from the storm inside. When the coast is clear, you wave the others on.
As carefully as they can, Osferth and Finan lower Sihtric to the ground. The injured warrior groaned as he touched the ground, “We need to make a fire.” Finan tells the rest of you.
“Did anyone see Lord Uhtred?” Osferth questions, making you and Finan glance at each other.
You shake your head no, and then Finan looks back to Osferth, “He must be with Lady Aethelflaed.”
“Should we look for them-”
“We can’t,” Finan cuts him off, sighing, “We must stick together, make a fire, and take care of Sihtric.”
“I will tend to Sihtric,” You tell them, “Go get what you need for a fire but please stay close, this storm is only getting worse, and finding your way back might get harder.”
Finan nods okay, and the two men leave as you bend down to check up on Sihtric. He’s breathing heavy but he’s still alert so that has you at ease. Checking his wound on his side, it doesn’t seem bad but it will definitely need stitching. His skin, however, is freezing to the touch and that makes you nervous, “That bad?” Sihtric chuckles the best he can, his eyes looking so very tired.
“Not at all, you needed stitches. That’s all,” You tell him as you look through the pouch tied to your belt.
“You are a bad liar, Y/N,” He huffs, looking up to the ceiling of the cave, “Tell me, please.”
Biting your lip, you sigh and glance away, “You're freezing, you need fire or you may get sick.”
“I could have told you that,” He laughs but the motion makes his side hurt and his laughter turns to a wince.
“You must rest, Sihtric, please,” You tell him as you find your needle and thread, “Eahlswith will not forgive you if you do not make it home in one piece, remember?”
“Ealhswith,” He smiles slightly, and then grunts as you start to clean the wound, “I miss her.”
“And you will see her soon, I promise,” Glancing up, you can see fear in Sihtrics eyes, and it breaks your heart, “I swear it, Sihtric.”
He only nods, and you continue to care for him in silence.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
Time has passed, and the fire has been made, but it’s small and just barely enough to keep you all comfortable so to make up for the lack of heat you all huddle close to each other. You are to Sihtric’s left, Finan is to yours, and Osferth is on the other side of Sihtric. Sihtric’s wound was cleaned well but he is still very cold and you’re trying your best not to show how worried you are. As you take a deep breath, you let out a shiver and it shakes your whole body.
Noticing how cold you are, Finan scoots closer and wraps his arms around yours and holding it tight, “You alright, Y/N?”
You glance momentarily at Sihtric, who's currently half awake with his head on your shoulder and his eyes on the fire ahead of them, and then look back at Finan, “I am.”
It’s a lie. You’re terrified.
Terrified of losing your friends, of dying to the cold, but mostly you’re terrified of not being able to keep the oath you made to Lord Uhtred and yourself to keep them all safe. It’s killing you inside.
Sihtric is shivering to your right, his cold body against yours sending chills down your spine.
“Alright there, Sihtric?” You ask him, though you know the answer. Instead of staying strong, you can feel him shake his head no. His fear brings a tear to your eyes, “It’ll be okay.”
“It will not,” Sihtric whispers, making everyone else suddenly alert to how beaten he’s feeling.
“It will be, Sihtric, we will get out of this mess like we have every other mess Uhtred has gotten us into,” Finan tries to joke in an attempt to keep everyone’s spirit up.
“Uhtred isn’t even here,” Sihtric tells him, his head still rested on your shoulder, “We might never see him again. I might not-”
“We are getting out of here,” Osferth adds, “God will see us through this.”
“He is not my God, Osferth, he does not care if I live or die,” Sihtric argues.
None of you have seen him so defeated before.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” You tell Sihtric as you turn your body to face him, forcing him to lift his head up. You can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold himself up, and it’s hard for you to keep a calm expression. You grab Sihtric by his face and put on your best smile, but your eyes are still watering and the wind outside has made it so unbearably cold; so at this point, you don’t know if you have it in your heart to lie to him. So you don’t, “I know you are cold, and you hurt, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get home to Coccham. To your wife, and to your son.”
Sihtric nods okay, but his eyes tell another story as he starts to cry.
Past his shoulder, you can see Osferth is also looking mighty defeated as his own eyes start to get red, and behind you, Finan’s hand has gripped your cloak and tight.
And then, to make matters worse, the fire dies.
“Fucking bastard fire!” Finan growls loudly as he kicks the still hot wood with his foot, making soot spread, “Fuck!” His scream echoes throughout the cave as he gets up and stomps around in anger, and you look away from Sihtric as you start to cry, biting your lip in hopes of keeping your fear to yourself.
On the tips of your fingers, you feel Sihtric’s tears falling down.
“Finan, sit... please,” Osferth calls out, and you can hear his voice cracking, “Being angry will solve nothing.”
Sihtrics’ crying has worsened, and now they can all hear him.
You pull him closer to you, cuddling him like a child in your arms, trying your best to keep him warm. His sobbing is enough to shake you both, but you keep your grip on him strong. Osferth scoots his body closer to Sihtrics, putting his arm around his brother, and to your left, you can hear Finan return to his seat. After a moment or two, you can feel his arms wrap around your waist and hold you tight.
At least if you die, it will be next to those you love the most.
The four of you sit this way in silence for some time, the only things you can hear are Sihtric crying and the strong snowy winds blowing outside the cave. You have never been a very religious person, but at that moment you find yourself praying to every god you can think of to save the ones you love.
A moment later you hear Sihtric sniffle, and shuffle a bit in your arms before he sighs and speaks, “Y/N?”
“Yes?”
“Can you sing for us?” He asks, and you nod yes.
If you can bring him comfort now, in what very well might be his final hours, you will do whatever he wishes.
“Take me to the rooftop. I wanna see the world when I stop breathing. Turning blue,” You rest your cheek on top of Sihtric’s head, and your eyes glance away as you continue, “Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious. Leave me, like you do. If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry 'Cause I'm leaving soon,” There's sniffling in the air as you sing, you can hear Osferth shuffling, probably to get closer to Sihtric, and you can feel Finan’s arms grip you tighter. “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out but down, mm down.”
You move your left hand down to where Finan is holding you tight, and he moves to grab it, squeezing it as best he can. His hand is lacking a glove, and yet you can feel his warmth.
You hold on to that feeling as you continue singing, “Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek. That's what a year-long headache does to you. I'm not okay, I feel so scattered, don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me. Deja vu. If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry. I'm leaving soon,” Finan’s head is on your shoulder, you can feel his breath on your neck. It makes you think of all the times you should’ve kissed him. You should have told him. Probably too late for that now, though, “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out, but down, mm down. Write my friends and tell them that I love them. And I'll miss them... but I'm not sorry. Write my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them…”
Sorry.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
The men have been asleep for some now, but you’re still awake. You have been staring at Sihtric all night, watching his chest rise and fall. Making sure his chest still rises and falls. A couple of times you’ve even put your fingers to his lips to make certain that he’s still breathing. Anything to make sure he’ll survive through the night. On the other side of him, Osferth is sound asleep, you can hear the man snore just slightly, and see him cuddled against Sihtric’s side.
The inside of this cave is freezing but you know it’s better than being out in the storm.
“Y/N?” You hear Finan whisper, “Are you up?”
“I am,” You whisper back, your fingers hovering just above Sihtric’s lips. Still breathing, good. You roll over slowly to not wake him, and when you are facing Finan, you sigh, “He is still alive, thank God.”
“Do you think he’ll make it?” Finan asks quietly, his eyes a red mess.
You shrug, not wanting to lie right now, “I do not know, Finan,” You shake your head, and the tears are building in your eyes again and your next words barely make it out, “I fear the worst.”
The tears fall down your cheeks and you try your best to not cry too loudly because you fear waking them more than you do crying in front of the man who’s stolen your heart. Finan reaches out to hold you by your cheeks and you can feel how warm he is still, it’s not much but enough to feel wonderful against your cold face as you cry. He shuffles his body closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your face as you open your eyes.
You don’t want to die without him knowing how he makes you feel. How he makes your heart flutter. How he fills you with so much life.
How loved he makes you feel.
“Finan- I need to tell you something,” You get yourself ready to say the words, but he stops you with his finger on your lips.
“Tell me in the morning, Y/N,” He’s smiling, but his eyes are red and full of tears.
“But what if we don’t make it to morning?” Your voice cracks, and instead of answering Finan leans in and kisses you. It’s warm and delicious, and you want to kick yourself that it’s only happening now when you might not live to see another day because your body is cold but kissing Finan now fills your soul with so much warmth.
Perhaps this wouldn’t be a terrible way to die.
The two of you stay like that for a while, and you're trying your best to etch every inch of him into your mind as he pulls you in closer by the way to deepen the kiss. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s like coming home, and when you finally break apart the content smile on his face says he feels the same.
Finan leans back in, kissing your face over and over again. Making sure to kiss away all the tears that have stained your cheeks and then finding his way to your neck, “If I didn’t fear waking them, I’d pull my cock from my trousers and warm you with that.”
You try to bite your lip to contain your laughter, but a snicker comes out anyway, “I’m sure that is that last thing either of them would like to see now.”
“Aye, but what a sight it would be,” He smirks, leaning in for another kiss, “But If I’m going to bed you, Y/N, it will be properly I swear it.”
“I will hold you to that,” You tell him with another kiss, and as you move to separate you can see the expression on his face shift and the mood become more somber, "We should try to sleep. We need our energy."
"You sleep, I'll keep watch," Finan tells you, kissing your forehead.
"Nothing is going to hurt us here but the cold," You try to tell him, "Please try to sleep, Finan."
"I will, Y/N, let me just hold you for a while," Finan nods for you to turn around and you comply, and a moment later his arms are around your waist again and he's kissing behind your ear. Then, barely a whisper and more like wind, you can hear him say something in your ear, "Tá grá agam duit."
It's the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
You wake from your sleep in a cold sweat, your heart racing as you rise quickly from the ground. The first thing you do is turn your body to your right to check on Sihtric, and to your surprise you find him sitting up and wide awake.
It brings tears to your eyes.
"Oh thank God," You can't help but say at the sight of him.
Sihtric smiles slightly. He looks tired, but he's alive and that's all the matters, "Good morning, Y/N."
"How are you feeling?" You ask as you lean over to put the back of your hand on his forehead. He's warmer than he was last night, which is a good sign, "Warmer? Is your wound okay?"
"Looks like you did it again, Y/N," Osferth calls out as he enters the cave with firewood in his hand, "Told you you’d be okay." Osferth drops the wood where the original fire once sat and then walks over to Sihtric and ruffles his hair, "Lord Uhtred will be pleased."
You chuckle, wiping your face of tears, and then suddenly you remember last night and Finan.
With a smile still on your face you turn to your left, where you can see his body still lying there, "Finan, it's morning-" the moment you put your hand on him your smile fades and your heart drops as you notice something very important. His fur cloak isn't on his body, but on yours and Finan is cold, "Finan?" You shake his shoulder as you call his name, the frantic sound of your voice getting the other’s attention, "Finan!"
Osferth rushes to your side just as you turn him on his back, and you place your fingers to his lips and can barely feel a thing. Osferth, however, has his hand on Finan’s forehead, "He's burning up."
"I cannot feel his breath," You tell Osferth as the tears hit you quick, and your breathing is all over the place, "Finan, come on, please-" you start to pump at his chest to get his heart moving, breathing into his mouth to help him get air. You do both this over and over again, trying not to let the sobbing stop you, "Come on, Finan, please!"
"Y/N?" You can hear Sihtric's voice question you from where he sits, the sound of fear clear.
You keep going, refusing to give up on him. Thinking about the other night.
You still haven't told him-
"Y/N," Osferth calls to you, but you do not stop, "Y/N," He tries pulling you away, but you keep going, and going, but now Osferth is pulling a little harder, "Y/N, please-"
And just as Osferth is about to tell you to stop, Finan starts to gasp for air and your heart can beat again, "God, thank you," you cry as you pull Finan close to you, taking off the cloak he gave you in the night and putting it back around his body. He's breathing lightly, but he's breathing so that's good enough for now, "You're okay, Finan, you're okay." He lifts his hand up to grab yours and you place a kiss on the top of his head.
“It seems your God is with us, Osferth,” Sihtric chuckles from behind them, making you and Osferth look back at him with a smile.
“We need to get out of this cave,” Osferth smiles, patting your shoulder as he rises to his feet.
“Why, when you’ve seemed to have made it home?” The voice from behind you has you all turning heads, a shocked and pleased look on your faces when you see Lord Uhtred has found you, “Y/N, what have you done to my men? They look awful.”
You laugh in relief at the sight of him. It seems all the Gods have heard your prayer.
------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------
You all get home to Coccham in one piece, and you’ve never been happier to see your little home in your whole life. They leave Finan with you so you can watch him recover, and you do not mind giving the Irishman your bed. It’ll take him a few days to heal, and after everything that has happened, you’d prefer to keep a close watch on him. Sihtric and Ealhswith stop by to visit, partially so you check on Sihtric and partially so Ealthswith can thank you with meals for bringing her husband home.
Osferth and Lord Uhtred stop by as well. Finan isn’t always awake so they usually sit by his side for a while. Osferth prays and you think Uhtred might too.
You are cooking dinner one evening when you hear movement in your bedroom, and the sound of something falling over. You immediately rush to the other room to find that Finan is trying to sit up, and has knocked a cup of water to the floor.
“What do you think you're doing?” You giggle as he leans back down, feeling grateful to see him awake.
“If you wanted me in your bed, Y/N, you only needed to ask,” Finan jokes as you walk closer to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”
“You’re a fool, that’s what happened,” You tell him as you put your hand to his forehead and he is no longer burning, which is good, “You had a fever, almost froze to death,” Your smile fades as you take a deep breath, “I thought I lost you for a moment…”
“A fever?” He questioned, looking generally lost, “I don’t remember a fever,” He reaches out and takes your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles, “But I do remember some things. You were going to tell me something, were you not?”
You smile and lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’ll tell you when you're out of this bed.”
Finan laughs, using his other hand to reach out and hold you close from your neck, “Will you now?”
“You have promises you have to make good on first,” Your smirk as you lean in closer.
“Oh and I plan on making good of them, Y/N,” Finan tells you in a low voice that makes you squirm.
You chuckle as you lean in even closer, “God is good.”
“Aye,” He smirks as he hovers over your lips, “Praise him.”
Oh, you do. You thank him later that night in bed as you ride him and Finan makes good on his promise to warm you. A bed that Finan ends up never leaving and now you share together. You praise him on your wedding day, and multiple times on your wedding night. You praise him a few months later when you find yourself pregnant with your firstborn, and again when you give birth to your first son. You thank God for every child you have after, and every moment with this family of yours; made and found, that you decided to stay in Coccham and make it your home.
You thank God, all the Gods, for every moment they bless you with.
Even once your husband passes on.
And one day, when you're old, tired, and lying in the grass surrounded by the ones you love most you thank him one last time; before you go, for blessing you with such a life.
Grateful to go out under the heat sun, taking in the world one last time.
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abluescarfonwaston · 3 years
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Hi! So, um,, I know this isn't something you should ask a writer so please feel free to ignore this. I was wondering,, , your "the white wolves" story has brought me so much joy and I am grateful that you wrote it! I was just wondering, if you're not going to finish it (this isn't meant to pressure you. If you don't want to finish it that is 100% fine and your choice and I'm thankful for the five chapters you gave us!!!) so, anyway, I was wondering what the conclusion was going to be? If you're comfortable answering that. If not, that's absolutely fine of course and I'm sorry for asking.
Thank you so much for your lovely stories and I hope you're having a wonderful day!
Okay first off, we're totally cool don't even worry about it. I am always touched people still care about and think about an unfinished piece from like 10 months ago. And now that I have seen that it's almost been a year I feel it is important to point out that while this fic has clearly been physically abandoned, it has not been emotionally. Or Else I would not have spent the last hour pacing back and forth angrily lamenting that I do not have more hands. I do not want to provide you with an unsatisfactory summary in an undercut about how the story was going to unfold. It is not that I mind sharing these details - I have done so to others who have asked. It's just that admitting something I still love so dearly may never get done hurts.
Hopefully one day I will find that voice again.
Spoilers for a fic that will (probably) never get finished under the cut. It is 2.6k and includes most of the final section.
The next sequence in the story is them all taking a nap on the side of the road. Jaskier gets up and calls Yennifer for help. Do you know that part in the books where Yennifer saves Dandelion and he doesn't know why? Because I owed you one. You kept him from being alone. I think about that alot. I think that's why she comes. Not then. She meets them at the keep in a few days time. She is too tired to arrive before then.
There is a scene of the four of them in an inn. Of Ciri, afraid to sleep least she destroy the inn like she destroyed that forested grove. We have a moment when he looks at candle on the inn nightstand and remembers a inn fire that almost killed him and how he hadn't wanted to sleep in an inn ever again. (I foreshadowed it. It's allowed. I once read that Regis saved Dandelion from an inn fire. I thought it was canon. I know its not. I think. I only ever read the short stories. They sit on my shelf. One day I'll read them.) He understands. Still he tucks her in and tells her it will be alright. That is the empty words of adults who lie to children that they think do not know better. No. It is the empty words of a bard whose job is to write lullabies that get children to bed on time. Besides it will be fine. Even if things go bad, we will be with you the entire time.
These are the two scenes I largely blame for the fact I stopped writing this fic. I got stuck on Yennifer's conversation and then wasn't sure how to get that inn scene to actually play out. Anyway. Back to the part you were actually asking about. What's the deal with the wolves? Both of them.
They arrive at the keep. They are greeted and loved and yeered at and pestered. Jaskier is nervous and concerned as he eyes the silver in their blades. It is strange they believe the doppler. But he was a very good Doppler. He digs his fingers into white fur. Remember you promised. You promised you were him. Don't let it be a lie.
And oh I have lost the voice but they are in the great hall with Vesemir and Eskel and Lambert and Geralt and Geralt and Yennifer. She peers into his eyes and does not reveal him. Silver medallions brush against skin and he does not flinch or melt. Geralt of Rivia is Geralt of Rivia. Of this there is no doubt.
The conversation turns to Ciri and Jaskier quietly slips out. It is snowing, just a few flurries on the still air. The wolf flows him to the room they set their bags in. Geralt's room.
This was not how it was meant to go. This is not how it was meant to go. Yennifer was supposed to look at the doppler and then at him and go what the hell and they would slip away and break the curse on the wolf - on Geralt. And they would quietly change hands. The Doppler into the wolf. The wolf into Geralt. Ciri would not know of the quiet deception they had pulled. The magicians trick with revolving mirrors.
Because clearly the doppler loved them. Because clearly the doppler had chosen them. Do you ever think about how in the short story Geralt is ready to kill the doppler that wears his face and it knows this because it is also him so it turns into Dandelion. Because he Knows Geralt would never hurt Dandelion? It's falling in with a lie. It is so easy to in love with a lie. Jaskier knows this.
It was supposed to be like this. Laying in a bed in the Keep with a white wolf next to him. Playing ballads for Geralt and Yennifer and Ciri and not hurting. Because he'd lay next to the wolf at night and bury his face in its fur. And in the spring they would run off to the coast together. You can wear a different face, whatever one you'd like, and will prove to you again and again that I still love you.
I am good at loving people. You know this about me. I might not be able to love you first. That might be why you love me. Because I loved Geralt of Rivia first. So completely that whatever motive you had you abandoned for the sake of it. For the taste of it. I know what it is like to want so desperately to be loved. Wearing different faces and personalities in the chance that someone might.
I know that very well.
But unlike you I'm always still just Jaskier.
The wolf slips in the door behind him.
Jaskier rounds on him. 'What the actual fuck? What the fuck are you? You Promised me. You Promised me you were him." The medallion bounces off his chest and he hates it. Rips it from his neck and brandishes it like a weapon. "I kept this for you! I thought you were him! You promised me you were him! What are you?! I told you I would help you even if you weren't him! Why?!"
The circle of the medallion cuts into his hand.
"Is this funny to you? Bringing me all the way up here and making me look a fool?! Making me watch Geralt picker her Again? Is this funny to you? You and this sadistic game?!"
And he throws the medallion. It hits the wolf dead on. Hit's his bowed forehead. Right between the eyes. Just in front of his flattened ears.
He has always been a good shot.
It is snowing outside. Just a few more flurries. The winter stretches out, immeasurably long in front of him.
He knows who Geralt chooses. That those 'I love you's are lies. No. Not lies. Geralt did not mean to lie. Not intentional. But it was so easy when your heart is broken to bury yourself in someone that does. Love you. Drowning men love life boats but they'd much rather be on the ship that cast them out.
He knows. It exactly what he was doing too.
I love you doppler. I could love you too.
The winter stretches immeasurably long in front of him.
"I can't do this." There is a bag in his hand. A case. "I can't do this."
There is a whine but he does not hear it as he rushes out the door. He can't do this. Down the stone hall. Wind whips through a hairline fracture in the Keeps walls and cuts his cheeks red where they are wet. He can't do this. Out the doors. Through the large wooden gates. He can't do this.
The winter stretches immeasurably long in front of him.
In the great hall a sickening feeling curdles in Geralt's gut. Honestly its seeing Yennifer again. This is all so wildly out of hand. Even if he knows they need her. That Ciri needs her.
"It's startin' to snow. Your idiot better come back soon."
"What?" He turned to Lambert who had curled up in a mountain of blankets in the window nearest the fire.
"Said it's starting to snow, dumbass."
"No the other part."
"Peacock left a while ago. Think he had the right idea. If I'd know she was coming I'd have stayed down south."
"What?" Snow was coming down hard. Big wet flakes. Could hardly see the keep walls through them. "Why didn't you say so sooner?!"
He shrugged. "His dog went after him."
His gut does a funny thing then. It eases in relief before his brain catches up and yanks tight in terror.
The wolf went after Jaskier.
Jaskier is alone.
With the wolf.
In a snow storm.
Jaskier is is alone in a snow storm. He walks down the mountain alone. As he knew he would. Why did he think it would be any different this time? Why does he never learn? He is a fool.
The wind picks up. The snow buries the path. He huddles in a protected alcove and wishes he'd been thinking clearly enough to steal one of Geralt's cloaks. Just to be petty.
He is probably going to freeze on this mountain. Walking down it alone. He might die. But even if he doesn't something will have died. Something in his chest that he cradled like wounded bird.
How many times must you touch fire, how many times must you be burned before you learn? How many times Jaskier? How many times?
He pulled his doublet tighter around him.
Just the one more time it seemed. Just once more.
Barking. Just one voice barking. Barking into the snow and wind in the distance.
Are you looking for your pack? Did you get lost? Separated? I hope they find you. I hope they answer you. I wish I had a pack to call out to.
The snow drifts down in heavy blankets and there is nothing to do but sleep. All he wants to do is sleep.
There is warmth in his dreams. Heavy and warm and soft and reeking of wet dog and something deeper. Something less domesticated and tame.
"You found him?"
Geralt's voice. Deep and soft. Reaches him. Buried in the snow. Cruel and kind in equal measure. To make him hear that voice before he, probably, dies.
"... Thank you."
There is a gasp. He recognizes it. That shocked little inhale of Geralt's.
"I think... That druid overpaid."
He wakes up to a stone ceiling. To thick and heavy furs covering him. to a wolf pressed into his side. To a man known as the white wolf pressed into the other.
Words will find him soon. But for now they are held back by a dam of confusion and exhaustion.
Geralt reaches an arm over him and scratches at the wolf's forehead. "Hm." Got it. The hum says. The same one he uses when Jaskier reminds him to pick something up in town. Hm. Got it.
The dam breaks.
"Oh so you're just okay with each other now? Everything is hunky dory? Jaskier goes out into a snow storm and you drag him - Unwillingly mind you - back here and now you're best fucking friends?! Well it's not all A-O-Kay over here so perhaps you might let me up so I can demand Yennifer do me the solid of getting me out of this godforsaken keep?" He wiggled under the mountain of blankets that held him captive.
"Wha-" Geralt's hand pressed down on his chest. Preventing escape.
"Or you know just go back to the love of your life, take your one goddamn blessing and leave me be!"
"Jask-"
"Oh don't give me that- you're gonna run right off after Yennifer and we both know it and you," Glared. Bared his teeth at the wolf. "Are a lying manipulative bastard and I hope she turns you into a gnat or a pigeon or - or something!"
"Jaskier!"
His jaw clicked closed. He did not soften his gaze.
"We- He - it's not. He didn't lie."
He scowled harder at Geralt.
"You remember that druid Ciri told you I helped?"
"... Vaguely."
A woman and woman who was not her wife. But was. In his story, in his song, he would tell it as if she was.
You saved my heart, I don't know what I'd have done if she. She. Witcher how can I ever repay you?
What food do you have on you?
Uh.
Fine. We don't have time. Don't tell them which way have gone.
No that's not- perhaps the law of su-
No. No. Lie. That will be enough.
It's not!
"He," Nodded to the wolf. "Was how she decided to pay."
He studied Geralt. Then the wolf. Their matching golden eyes.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Geralt grimaced. Hair falling over his face. "He's a familiar. She made him for me. Of me."
He studied the wolf again, distrustingly. "How does that work?"
Shrugged a shoulder. "You'd have to ask Yen."
"Don't care that much." He tried to wave his hand and the idea off but couldn't get it free from the covers. "Shouldn't you have known then? If he's made of you?"
"We weren't... connected. You have to. Touch."
"Oh and she thought you'd just go out of your way to touch a big white wolf? Honestly what was the plan there? You'd have just killed the damn thing."
"Mhmm."
"Seriously what kind of mad man goes out and pets a two hundred pound wolf? Could have at least tied a note to its neck for explanation before setting it loose on the countryside, wandering around looking for you."
"It wasn't..." He hummed his prodding question. "Looking for me. That's not what it was supposed to do."
"And pray tell what was it supposed to do?"
Geralt was quiet. The charged quiet that said he knew the answer but didn't want to tell him.
Eventually. With a fair bit of glaring and wiggling on his part, he answered.
"She was repaying the favor."
"Oh and what's that supposed to mean?! What you saved her partner and she sent the wolf to go out and save yours?" He scoffed. "What did she magic you 'a white wolf to protect your heart when you could not?' as you did for her? Is that it? Absolutely absurd, I wouldn't write that drivel."
Neither Geralt met his eye.
"Geralt...?"
"That's..." He ducked his head. "Hm."
Right.
"But then why-"
A wolf appears in the darkness. All white fur and golden eyes. Protects him from the bandits. Brings him a rabbit when his stomach growls.
I love you Jaskier. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.
They lay on the bedroll and Geralt kisses him like a thousand drunken kisses. Like a thousand sober ones. And the wolf follows after Ciri and comforts her when they cannot.
The wolf seeks him out in that ruined clearing while Geralt cradles Ciri. While Geralt debates with Yennifer and Vesemir over Ciri's fate. Her training.
I love you Jaskier.
Protect his heart, white wolf, when he cannot.
"Oh."
He let his head fall to the side. Watched Geralt watch him with those golden eyes he had memorized decades ago. Listened to the sound of his breathing that was more familiar than his own.
"Tell me again."
Geralt cocked his head a fraction. Brow furrowed in confusion.
"Tell me again, what I did not believe. If it is true. Tell me again. Geralt of Rivia."
"Tell you...?"
"I love you, Geralt. Despite all sense and reason. Do not lie to me. Do not pretend if I am fated to walk down that mountain alone again. Do not lie to me."
His eyes widened. He pushed himself up and over him. Caged him in his muscular, scarred arms. Shoved the wolf aside.
It grumbled. Huffed. Walked out of the room. Towards Ciri. Towards his heart.
"Jaskier. I love you." He said again.
And this time. This time he believed him.
"Then, You absolute fool and dullard." With only Geralt to hold him down he worked his arms free. Held Geralt's head in his hands. Traced the stubble of his jaw that he could, if he needed to, shave blind. From memory alone. "Kiss me. I have waited long enough."
Geralt leaned down and did.
He remembered the barking of a single wolf. It's howls into the storm. Searching for its pack.
I hope your pack finds you. He wished to its unseen form.
Mine did.
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