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xzaddyzanakinx · 19 days

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part Seven: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink (Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation[Be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin is perfect boyfriend material. He’s also insane, but that’s okay. He’s thinkin’ some thoughts [diary entries from Ani AND you] extremely not proofread. MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: July 14th

You’d better be so fucking glad that I’m not insane.

I offered you my weapon and you didn’t take it. You have zero self preservation skills, your fight or flight response is so low that it concerns me. You’re worse than a opossum, instead of playing dead you play pretend that it’s normal to have a home intruder with a knife in your bedroom.

You didn’t even attempt to get up and run, not that you could’ve. You wouldn’t have made it more than two steps without collapsing. You could hardly speak, slurring your words like a drunken fool.

You didn’t even call anyone after I left. Didn’t text anyone. Didn’t get out of bed until 1:00pm this morning. If I didn’t have the audio on full blast all night I would’ve busted back in and made sure you were still breathing.

Honestly I’m alittle jealous.

Stupid I know, to be jealous of myself. But you didn’t know it was me. Yet you still let me sit there, you let me talk to you, you let me scratch your head like a good little girl.

Did you really believe it was all a dream?

Do you remember it today?

Can you feel my hands on your skin? Can you taste my cum on your lips?

Did you know it was me?

Date

July 14th

You woke up groggy, way, way past the normal time your internal alarm clock jolts you awake. Disoriented wouldn’t even begin to describe how you felt right now. This was a feeling like nothing you’d ever experienced before.

Unlike last night when your mind was refusing to kick off the blanket of sleep while your body could scarcely react… now your mind was wide awake and running rapidly while your body was aching and not properly calibrated.

You’d been so utterly relaxed during your deep sleep that your muscles got the rest they’d been searching so desperately for your entire life. You felt loose, rested and smooth while also feeling as though you’d been stomped to a pulp by a stampede of angry cattle.

Your head felt swimmy, your lungs felt like they’d been working too hard. Your eyes still couldn’t fully focus either, so it was no surprise that you stumbled clumsily to the kitchen and spilled coffee grounds all over the counter.

You rested your forehead against your folded arms on the counter top, needed a moment to rest your eyes from the harsh lighting. The pounding in your head traveled from one side to the other, keeping a continuous presence behind your sensitive eyes. The moment of silence, well, it gave you time to think.

You had wanted so badly to believe last night was nothing but a weird ass dream, it wouldn’t have been the first time.

But your hopes were squashed when you woke up and saw your diary on the edge of your bed. Even the air felt disturbed, like your room itself was letting you know that it wasn’t all in your head.

He had said he wouldn’t hurt you and you believed him.

He didn’t hurt you.

But if not… why drug you? Was he planning on it and you’d interrupted his plans? Though being a kind, caring, crazy person he backed off instead of forcing you to endure whatever he decided for you while you were awake?

Or had you caught him after the deed had been done?

That ache. That horrible longing in your gut that just refused to go away… was gone. Not dulled, not in hibernation. You felt satisfied and sated.

He said he didn’t hurt you… maybe he just...

You shoved your thoughts into a corner and taped the box shut. That was absolutely sick, you cannot think that way. You can’t. What the hell is wrong with you? You shouldn’t be okay with that.

You should cry. You should scream and wail and cry and throw up.

But how could you be disgusted by a man that had taken away the yearning that had been so deeply rooted within you for so long? Maybe… maybe he didn’t even touch you like that.

Maybe whatever drug he’d given you had somehow flipped the reset switch.

“Sure.” You whispered to yourself, leaning against the countertop. “Sure, that’s all it is. Just that.”

“I have no reason to doubt him. If he wanted to hurt me he would’ve done it. I caught him, if he was truly a terrible person he probably would’ve killed me.” You reasoned with yourself.

“He just came to say hello.” You put your face in your hands, breathing deeply. “Yep. Yep. Yep. That’s all.”

You chose to ignore that fact that your panties were glued to your cunt that morning.

Conveniently over looked the obvious hickey on your left breast.

Pretended not to notice the taste of something salty in the corner of your mouth.

That’s all in your head. He didn’t do that, you didn’t feel sore. You would feel that wouldn’t you? You would’ve woken up right?

‘Right. I would’ve felt it. I would’ve woken up. So it was a dream. Yes.’ You nodded resolutely in agreement with your inner voices.

Some guy dressed as Ghostface was not in your bedroom.

You got out your diary to write about your night at the bar and how wonderful it was, and you fell asleep before you could put your pen to the paper.

Someone slipped something in your drink and it made you sleep very soundly. Someone who didn’t get the chance to take advantage because your two best friends walked you home.

Your subconscious knew that’s what happened and it made all that other stuff up. It’s time to reevaluate your bookshelf. No more dark romance. It’s turned your brain to mush.

Anakin. You should go ask Anakin to review the footage from the bar security cameras. Put your mind at ease that no one had even attempted to follow you home. Maybe you’ll see that no one even drugged you in the first place and you just have one hell of a hangover and an overactive imagination.

First things first though, scoop up those spilled coffee grounds and dump them into the filter. The water gets hot enough, it’ll be fine.

Absentmindedly grabbing your new hello kitty mug, you failed to notice the slip of paper inside until you almost poured creamer over it.

You quickly snatched it up and unfolded it.

‘Sleep well?’

——————————————————————————

“Anakin!” You banged on his front door and he answered relatively quickly.

He appeared in a pair of flannel checkered pajama pants and a short sleeved white shirt, socked feet and messy hair.

“I’m not picking my nose I swear, I’m changing my nose ring.” He grinned, one finger in his left nostril while he screwed on the ball to a new black steel ring, replacing the previous plain stainless steel one.

“M’sorry I didn’t mean to-“

“No worries baby, what’s up?” He asked, running a hand through his hair before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Can you do me a favor please?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Of course, what’d you need princess?” He asked, his face full of sympathy. “Wanna come in? We can chat.”

He didn’t wait for you to answer, he simply stepped aside and held the door open, lifting that arm slightly so he could usher you underneath his arm and into his apartment.

“Need a drink or anything?” He asked, thumbing toward the fridge.

When you shook your head he gently grasped one of your elbows and brought you to the couch, he kneeled on one knee and held both your hands with his. He looked up at you like he was studying the most delicate piece of artwork on earth.

“What’s going on doll?” He whispered, tucking a hair behind your ear, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Your eyes flashed at his lips quickly, and widened slightly, but you shook your head.

‘If only you knew.’ You thought, your inner voice giving a mirthless laugh.

“N-no.” You sighed. “Is there anyway you can convince your boss to let me look through the security footage from the bar last night?”

“Yeah sure, I doubt he’d care.” Anakin shrugged. “Why? Did you lose something?”

“Um no.” You said, contemplating on telling him your story, no matter how stupid it might make you look.

“You can tell me anything sweetheart.” Anakin cooed.

“It’s just… I think maybe someone slipped something in my drink last night.”

“You think someone drugged you?” He repeated, his hands tightening around yours.

“Well I don’t know for sure!” You said quickly. “I just woke up feeling weird and dizzy… n’ well I don’t know it doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll make sure we get that footage okay?” He promised, pulling you into his chest and smoothing your hair down your back.

You didn’t speak, you just let him pet you for a moment. The thought of telling him what had actually happened scared you. It made your stomach flip, twist into knots and yank your guts so tightly that you thought you’d never be able to eat again.

He’d think you’re nuts. He’d think you’re a liar. He’d think you wrote that note yourself. He… what would he do? If he believed you? Would he call the cops? Get angry at you for not doing it yourself?

You were vaguely aware of Anakin speaking to you and once he realized you weren’t comprehending a single word, he stopped. He leaned back to look at your face where it rested against his chest.

“Babydoll?” He said worriedly, waving his hand in front of your face to get your attention. “What’s got you all tore up?” He asked in a whisper.

You shook your head, hoping to scramble your thoughts back into order.

“It’s nothing, I just…” You breathed deeply, realizing only now that you’d started to cry.

The safety you felt with Anakin had allowed you to feel these confused feelings in a closed and controlled environment. You chided yourself for thinking he’d react offensively, you may as well just tell him. At least part of it… right?

“Hey, princess.” He said, his voice tinged with a worried kind of uncertainty. “You’re kinda scaring me, I need you to talk to me baby.” He whispered softly.

“I think someone broke into my house last night.” You blurred out suddenly, your words surprising yourself. The moment they left your lips the words caused you to shudder, eyes watering, staring at Anakin like a poor hopeless little kitten on an ASPCA commercial.

“What do you mean someone broke into your house?” He asked sternly, his hands firm on your shoulders.

“I don’t know. Maybe I imagined it.” You said embarrassedly.

“I checked all over the apartment this morning and can’t seem to find out how they got in. I just remember someone being there.” You added, biting your lip as you picked at the skin on your fingers.

“Do you want me to go look?” He asked softly. “You can stay right here, I’ll go look if you want.”

“Really?” You sniffled. “Will you?”

“Of course.” He soothed, cupping your face with both hands and wiping the remnants of your tears away. “You stay put. I’ll be right back.”

Anakin grabbed a thick Sherpa blanket…

Sherpa blanket? He has a Sherpa blanket? Hot. A man with good taste in throw blankets is a man worth pursuing.

He covered you up and patted your head, his fingers stalling momentarily as he gave you a wide-eyed, quizzical look as though he might ask you something or maybe had an odd thought. But, you could see him internally shaking whatever it was that crossed his mind away.

“I’ll be back in a sec okay?” He said, walking to his front door and shutting it with a click behind him.

Anakin walked into your apartment and idly stood in the kitchen, thinking to himself and wondering just how much you remembered. Boogie purred and looped around at his feet so he scooped her up and held her like a baby while pacing the room.

“What should I do? Hmm?” He asked, scratching beneath her chin.

“You have great advice usually.” He muttered. “C’mon… I- fuck.” He groaned.

“I can’t just ask her can I?” He huffed. “No, I can’t.”

“I’ll just… offer to put up some cameras,” he chuckled to himself. “Easy. It’ll make her feel better huh?”

“Thanks… good kitty.” He said giving her a peck on the head before sitting her on the kitchen counter and walking back to his apartment.

He popped his head around the corner to see you still sitting exactly where he left you.

“Good news is: there isn’t anyone there now.” He said with a sympathetic smile. “I can’t find any evidence of a break-in…”

“I know!” You said, exasperatedly throwing your hands up.

“Hush.” He said sternly. “Just because I didn’t find anything, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen okay?”

He doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe that your space had been invaded, that your sanctuary had been tainted. But, he believes that you believe it was. And that’s enough of a reason for him to play along for your peace of mind. Within reason of course. He’s not confirming your fears, he’s leaving it open ended but putting up a gate to keep it in check. He’s protecting you from yourself and your own anxiety.

Too bad he’s wrong. Although it’s real sweet that he’s trying.

“Okay.” You blushed at his change in tone, like he was speaking to a child having a tantrum.

You didn’t fully understand why, but every time he did that, it made your stomach flip- in a good way. It was… strangely comforting? Maybe? Or maybe it was just hot, either way you weren’t complaining in the slightest.

“Do you want me to set up a security system for you? Some cameras or?” He offered, sitting next to you and opening his arms which you quickly leaned into.

“Cameras?” You echoed, why hadn’t you thought to put those in when you moved in? You’re a girl, living alone, in a less-safe area of town.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Would that make you feel better?”

“I don’t know… maybe just those window and door alarms?” You suggested. “You know the ones that make that horrible screeching sound when they’re armed and someone tries to open the door?”

“Yes.” He chuckled. “I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

“I had one on the back garden gate at my moms house.” He said, smoothing out your hair.

“Really? Why?” You asked.

“Cause she thought I was sneaking out.” He chuckled.

“Were you?”

“Yes.” He laughed. “I just wanted to go smoke with my friend who lived in the same subdivision as us. Apparently she’d been hearing the gate open and shut.”

“She was never one for confrontation, so I guess scaring the shit out of me was her way of telling me to stop sneaking out to smoke pot.” He smirked. “I screamed, like a real actual scream. Sounded like a little girl.”

“Oh poor you.” You laughed, looking up at him as you giggled. “My parents never found out I snuck out.” You said teasingly.

“Oh really? What were your methods?” He snorted.

“Well, we didn’t have a fence first of all.” You said. “Second, I was on the ground floor and my bedroom window didn’t have a screen in it.”

“Mmm.” He nodded, his chest rising and falling methodically. “Smart.”

“Yep.” You smiled. “So how bad did you get in trouble?”

“Trouble? None.” He chuckled, leaning back to look at you. “I was momma’s pride and joy, I could do no wrong. She just gave me a warning, unspoken. But still very, very loud.”

“Oh so what you’re saying is she let you get away with it huh?” You laughed.

“Pretty much.” He smiled, pausing for a moment. “So is that what you want then?”

“Yeah… I think I’d rather have those. Maybe it’ll scare ‘em off and make ‘em scream like a little bitch, like you.” You teased, trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh baby, you wound me.” He sighed. “Guess you’ll have to find someone else to install them for you, huh?”

“What?” You sat up and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“What?” He said mockingly. “You really want a little bitch installing your security system? My little girly hands just won’t get the job done.” He teased.

Little girly hands? Little girly hands?

Those hands were anything but little, everything masculine. Strong and firm. Long fingers that would lace perfectly in yours, those same fingers would feel at home between your…

“Fine, I take it back.” You said quickly, pulling yourself from your dirty thoughts. You couldn’t seriously be drooling over those veined hands while discussing your potential house invasion.

“Good girl.” He grinned. “I’ll order them for you okay?” He said, brushing his knuckle against your cheek.

“Thank you.” You sighed in relief, ignoring the shiver his touch sent through you.

“No problem princess.” He said softly.

Diary Entry: July 14th

God I feel so… conflicted.

I never feel conflicted when it comes to you. It’s so strange, this feeing. It’s like I’m being pulled in two directions.

I love you. So much baby.

I love the way you felt in my arms today. I loved the way you let me hold you, comfort you. We have such a good connection. Such a normal, real, blossoming relationship.

But I’ve went and made things complicated haven’t I?

I should’ve waited. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve sucked it up and just watched through the cameras and kept my hands to myself. I have patience, I should’ve used it.

It’s just… you’re so tempting.

You love it. Whether you know it or not, I know it. I see it, hear it, taste it. You need me. Conscious and consenting or unconscious and oblivious. Either way, you need me.

So it’s really not my fault. I might’ve thrown the snowball that’s triggered the avalanche, but you’re not running from it. You’re letting it drag you under and doing it with a blush and blissful smile.

Ghostface has thrown an unexpected but possibly very interesting wrench in my plans. You reacted so strangely. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s eating me alive inside, the way you just… accepted it. It’s amazing.

Truly, it’s astonishing. This side of yourself that you’ve kept locked away and hidden from view, maybe even hidden from yourself until now. Do you have a Pit too? Did that surprising reaction crawl out of the depths of your enigmatic mind?

It’s a mystery to me. One I will never crack, it drives me nuts. Knowing that there’s a truly unsolvable puzzle in front of me, I can pick and pick and pick, but I’ll never find all the pieces. You’re too smart, too clever, too perfect. Why would your mind maze be any different?

What have you got hidden in there? In that one place I can’t break into? The one part of yourself you can hide from me?

I’ve gotten a taste, a small one. Lightly salted, hardly seasoned thoughts sprawled on the pages of your diary. No one, not even me, writes everything down. There are things that will stay locked away in my mind, never to be spoken or written. I’m sure you have those things too. Probably not anywhere near as… depraved as mine. But strange and unusual enough that you’d never willingly allow anyone to learn.

As much as I hate that I can’t read your mind, I love it too. That hidden side of yourself that is only for you. It’s something I’m not sure that you would ever show me, not even when you’ve finally fallen in love with me. Not even when we’re too old to care about anything but our happiness… I don’t think you’d share it then either.

That’s a shame. It really is.

But you might share that side of yourself with Ghostface.

I know you.

I know you well enough to realize that the fawn who timidly, but let their curiosity guide them to speak with Ghostface is not the same doe that blinks up at Anakin with adoration.

You. Are. So. Much. Like. Me.

Anakin looks at you with a sense of love, pure and unfiltered. He wants the best for you because he cares so deeply. He wants to keep you safe and warm and forever happy. Because that’s his duty as a loving and caring partner. Your protector and provider.

Ghostface looks at you with love yes, but also obsession and deeply rooted perversion. An infatuation so strong that he’d shed gallons of blood just to get to you. He wants the best for you, in his own way. He wants to keep you safe while giving you the danger he knows that you crave. He wants to keep you warm by feeding the flame of your own twisted little fantasies. The ones so dark you won’t even write them in your diary. He wants to keep you forever happy too, just not in the traditional sense.

And if he gets to have his own fun along the way… well, we both know I’m a fan of killing two birds with one stone. Of course Ghostface would have some mutually beneficial, selfishly planned ideas too, right? He’s unafraid to be what Anakin tries to keep hidden.

Maybe we can have both? Separately… at least for a little while.

You can have us both.

We can have the fawn and doe.

That could be fun. I think I’d like that. You’re just perfect, you’re so perfect. I never would’ve imagined I would be lucky enough to find someone who was as fucked in the head as me. The theory is of course untested, but I have a feeling that I’m right. I think you’ll love Ghostface just as much as you love Anakin.

Because I love the fawn just as much as I love the doe.

The doe that blinks up at me like it’s been caught in the high beams of a truck. The doe that is clever enough to carry on a good banter with me. Sweet and kind and gentle. That’s the recipe for the perfect little deer, they’re such a gentle animal. Soft.

Just like you. They bed down in the softest grass, nest themselves up in a way that keeps them hidden and safe. You do the same, all those stuffed animals and the ridiculously thick and fluffy comforter you sleep under.

They’re smart. They can be sneaky and quiet if they need to be. They have hard and dangerous hooves if they truly need to use them. So do you, but you’ve proven that just like a doe, you’d rather return to the safety of your nest instead of bucking up to kick your problems square in the chest.

Even though they’re smart enough to know they’re prey, they’re too sweet, too pure to believe anyone could have bad intentions. That’s why the bucks have antlers. Sharp and precise, ready to clash into whatever threatens his doe, head first.

Sound familiar?

Then there’s the fawn. The you I’ve only just begun to know. Tiny, meek, fragile. A bleat so small and unsure that it’s comical, like the way you spoke to Ghostface.

They cower, hide. Walk on unsteady legs that cause them to flounder when they’re nervous. They get overconfident; leaping and running on those lanky limbs and regretting it when they fall to their knees, legs folded beneath them and calling out for their protector.

They have those innocent doe eyes all the time, not just when caught off guard. Like the you that Ghostface met. So curious and wrongfully trusting. They don’t realize danger until it’s too late, they’re just exploring the world around them and suddenly they’re gone.

That’s why it’s important that you stay within arms reach of me. That’s why I watch you so closely. That’s why you need me.

They’re so easily taken advantage of; the purity, the innocence, it’s a recipe for disaster if it’s left to develop on its own. But when it’s nurtured? Well cared for? Allowed to roam within reason? In the safety of the net it’s protector has spread out for them?

Well, they’ll blossom. Just like you. You’re so eager to learn and soak up all the knowledge you’ve been so curious about, but too afraid to seek out on your own.

Ghostface can help with that. He’ll keep you safe while giving you the room to explore. He’ll allow you to think that you’re independently experiencing a new world, even though he’s the one who’s crafting it for you.

What a surprise it’ll be when we tell you we’re the same guy. It’ll be your dream come true huh? Sweet and tender boyfriend material, bring home to momma, respectful and gentle Anakin. With a side of… well controlled obsession motivated lunacy.

See? I’m self aware. Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy. I’m not a psycho, I’m. Not. That. Kind. Of. Guy.

But Ghostface is.

I love you. You love me. We can just merge the four of us together. Fours a crowd but twos a party or some shit like that.

Date

July 19th

Anakin waltzed into your apartment and locked the door behind him. In his break and enter self imposed uniform. No mask though, he just had it tucked under his arm just incase. He liked to be prepared, especially after you’d surprised him by waking up when he’d so carefully planned for you to do the opposite.

He scooped up Boogie for company, went to your bedroom and locked the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and climbed into your bed, staying standing to adjust the camera above your bed. He needed to uncover that lens. No reason to suffer with just the audio anymore, not when he had a perfectly good excuse that you were semi aware of now.

With task one complete he propped up his phone against one of your many stuffies to have the background noise of one of the shows he’s finally getting around to watching: Narcos. He can understand the hype around it when it was first released now and kind of wishes he’d sucked it up and jumped on the bandwagon to watch it with everyone else in the world back then.

With his work area set up he reached under your mattress with one long arm and pulled out your diary. He’d been impatiently waiting for you to formulate some questions and he’d hear you speaking to yourself about it the night before.

So he cracked open the little pink book and pulled out the red ink pen he’d brought along.

It just wouldn’t be as fun to use one of your cutesy little gel pens or just a plain old black one. But it would be fun to add just a dash more intimidation into the scenario.

It’s a proven fact that red is an uneasy color for humans. It’s one of those things that never fully went away when people developed past the primitive brain. Most people don’t even realize it, but studies show that red ink really does affect the brain. It’s very subtle but it’s still there. The mind is a strange place.

Red bad, blood red, scary.

That’s why all good horror movies have the killers write in red ink… or just straight up blood. It’s unsettling.

Anakin leaned back and got comfortable, flipping through the pages to read the few entries that he hadn’t yet, before moving on to the main course, a page titled: Answer Me

——————————————————————————

Your Diary Entry: Answer Me

Do I know you? If I don’t then who are you?

We’ve met.

Nice try, you’re not getting that out of me yet. Bold of you to ask though, I like that.

Just call me Ghost.

I’m sure that I know you, why else would you hide your voice?

Clever girl.

What do you look like?

You saw me. I didn’t realize you needed glasses.

Do appearances mean that much to you? Well, here’s what I look like under the mask:

Funny, huh?

Why me?

I don’t have enough room in this book to answer this question sweetheart.

So I’ll shorten it: you’re perfect, precious… and I love you because of it.

How did we meet?

You’re really confident that you’ve met me. It would’ve been embarrassing if you were wrong.

I saw you, you saw me. That’s how most people meet isn’t it?

Will you come back?

I’d have to be dead to be kept from you, even then you’d never be without me.

The afterlife is just a step behind the living.

It’d be fun to try out that poltergeist stuff anyway, don’t you think?

How did you get in? I checked and had a friend check… no sign of forced entry.

I know. I saw you both.

Not too long ago, you left your window unlocked. My main goal is to keep you safe and happy, you can’t be safe with an open window easily accessible by a fire escape. So I climbed in and closed it for you.

Have you looked for your spare key lately? I know where it is. It’s in my pocket. On my keychain.

How long have you been watching me?

I like the way you asked this. Not ‘how long have you been doing this’, not ‘how many times have you broken in’.

I’ve been watching you for quite a while now. Long enough that you should’ve definitely noticed by now. Just another reason you need me to protect you. You’ve been completely oblivious.

Go to the next page for the rest of this. I have more to say; you need a lecture.

Hello again, let’s continue shall we?

You’re utterly hopeless in the way of self awareness and keeping watch of your surroundings.

I walk you to and from work nearly everyday.

I sat on your fire escape every night for weeks, to watch you fall asleep on the couch, watching your little shows.

I’ve been to your sisters house, I’ve been to the library to see who is in your book club, I’ve even been to the gym with you.

You never noticed. That’s… forgivable. I’ve been very good at keeping myself hidden, ie. all the times I laid on top of the roof next door to watch you sleep through your bedroom window. But that was before I started visiting your home.

(Have you noticed that those curtains stay closed now? I always shut them for you because you’re forgetful.)

But you know what isn’t forgivable? Everything I’ve done inside your home that you’ve never noticed.

Sweetheart, I love you. I really do. But god you’d probably die without someone around to hold your hand. Haven’t you noticed that certain things seem to be growing into less of a chore and more of a manageable task?

I know that you have, but you thought it was all you, all on your own.

I’ve been making sure your favorite mugs are washed. I’ve been vacuuming because you never do it enough. I’ve been taking out the bathroom trash on the off occasion because I know you hate doing it.

I replace things for you. This one really gives me a giggle.

You’ve been using the same bottle of Persil laundry detergent for almost two months. Ever wondered why it stays half full? No?

Your favorite cereal never runs out either.

You’re adorable, so clueless.

It’s all helpful things sweetheart. No worries, I’m not just some weirdo creep. I do actually care about you and your well-being too. I love you.

You haven’t missed a single birth-control pill since I’ve been setting it out for you.

You’ve been sleeping so much better, in your own bed where you should be, because of that yummy SleepyTime tea. It’s nice to wake up feeling rested isn’t it?

I did my research, remember when you felt real down a while back? That’s when I started setting out your medicine and giving you that tea. I read that it was probably a hormone imbalance because you’re too forgetful to take your pill consistently.

I like to help, I want to help. It makes life easier for you and that’s what’s most important. That’s what a man should do, take care of the one he loves, keep her happy, safe and loved. I’m dedicated to you. I want you to know that.

Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked and you have more questions to be answered my curious girl.

If you didn’t plan on hurting me, why did you drug me, why did you bring a knife?

Valid question.

Am I being watched ALL the time?

No, I’m not a psycho. You deserve privacy, I’ve never peeked in on you in the bathroom in any capacity. I don’t always watch you in your bedroom. But I do listen. I like to hear you snore, it’s like ASMR.

I’ve never accidentally seen you naked if that what you’re asking. It’s always on purpose.

Why haven’t you made yourself known? Why no weird calls or notes or anything? Isn’t that a thing stalkers do?

No. It’s not. At least not for me.

I don’t want to freak you out. Leaving weird calls and notes would scare you. That’s the last thing I want.

I’ll start, let you get the full experience lol.

(Not creepy shit though I promise.)

What do you get out of watching me sleep? Have you touched me?

You’re beautiful, peaceful, angelic. It’s just nice to be in your presence. It’s calming in a way. Like how grandmas knit to wind down in the afternoon. Kinda like that I guess.

Maybe.

Are there cameras here?

Yes. But not everywhere, like I said, you deserve privacy.

They’re here for security reasons, but also because it sucks to sit in the rain on a fire escape. My ass would get frozen to the metal grate when it was cold.

I don’t use them for what you think though.

Will you ever tell me who you are?

Would you be able to cope with knowing my identity? I mean, there’s a reason I wear the gloves and mask, change my voice. Like I said, you know me in the real world. I won’t ever show you my face if it means losing you there.

I’d stop coming here like this though. If you wanted. But I don’t think you do. Do you?

You’ve obviously read my diary. Is that why you chose Ghostface?

What do you think? :)

There. Questions answered.

Don’t expect me in person for a bit, you should take some time to process. I know it’s a lot.

I’ll still be there for you though, I wouldn’t leave you completely. Never.

I have a feeling you won’t tell anyone. But I do of course have to ask: please, don’t tell anyone okay? It’d make me sad :(

Not even Lukey or Anakin okay?

I’ll warn you before I make an appearance next time.

Date

July 28th

The bell above the door at the Bluebird chimed and your head perk up immediately. There he was, right on time.

Anakin had been much, much closer to you since your meeting with Ghost. You still hadn’t told him. Probably never would.

Who would believe something so insane anyway? Anakin had handled the whole ‘home intruder and I’ve been drugged’ situation extremely well. He was very supportive, your certain that if you did ever share the information on Ghost with him, he would do his best to validate you, but he’d definitely make you go to therapy.

“My princess.” He grinned, walking up to the counter and sitting on a barstool, both hands palm up on the countertop for you to place yours in.

“Hey Ani.” You smiled softly, you loved this.

You loved what this had bloomed into. You never thought you’d fall for a traditional guy, but here you are, with Anakin.

“Whatcha got left? Almost done?” He queried, rubbing the backs of your hands with his thumbs while he gazed at you with those dreamy blue eyes.

“I’ll be ready to leave as soon as Sara clocks in.” You peered back into the kitchen, hoping to see her walk in the back door any moment.

“Good, we’ve got places to be.” Anakin teased.

“Do I have to go in my work clothes?” You whined. “I smell like french fries!”

“Mmm my favorite perfume of yours.” He snickered. “No, you don’t baby. I brought you a change of clothes. Dress or pants?”

“Oh? You brought options?” You asked in surprise.

“Of course I brought options. I’m not a mind reader.” He smirked.

“No, but you might as well be.” You laughed.

“Mmhmm.” He looked down at your hands and laced his fingers with yours. “Pants?”

“Yes please.” You nodded with a laugh. “See? Mind reader.”

“I wish.” He rolled his eyes. “Just know my girl well that’s all.” He smiled, one hand leaving yours to cup your cheek.

“Sara’s here.” He nodded to the back door as it was opening.

“Oh good!” You said, patting his hand on your cheek and spinning around to clock out.

Once Anakin had led you out to his car he opened the back passenger door and handed you one of your small backpacks with clothes in it.

“Change inside?” He asked, nodding toward the restaurant.

“Ew no.” You scoffed. “I’ll just change in the backseat.” You shrugged.

“Sure thing baby.” He laughed, gesturing for you to get in.

He stood outside with his back resting against the side of the car, ever respectful of you and your boundaries. Soon enough you knocked on the window and he moved out of the way to open the door for you and help you into the front of the car.

“Lookin’ good princess.” He let out a low whistle that had you blushing.

“Thanks.” You squeaked, despite being so comfortable with him, you couldn’t help but be bashful sometimes.

He was never not confident in the things he said to you. If he wanted to tell you something, he did. With his full chest.

Tonight was your first real, official date. Anakin had planned it all for you, you weren’t privy to his choices but you assumed it would be casual considering the clothes he’d offered you. He’d said ‘men should plan the dates and their girls should just enjoy them’.

Fuck feminism. Anakin made you forget you had the right to vote, he made you forget what it was like to do things on your own, he made you forget the horrors of being a girl left alone.

With him around you never had to lift a finger.

So it was no surprise that when you arrived at the restaurant he walked around, opened your door and offered you his arm. Not unexpected that he would order your food for you, somehow he always knew what you wanted, you didn’t even bother picking up the menu anymore.

Not a shock at all that when he got you home you didn’t have to do anything but lay back and be loved.

Part Eight

Just realized that probably not everyone knows what a butterfly knife is, so here’s a gif (I’ll put one in the previous post too) like you’re telling me this isn’t Anakin’s weapon of choice??? Show off.

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut t @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @doblasftcisco o @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @rorysbrainrot @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

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bordysbae · 1 year

Note

Can I please get 11 with barzy

“wrong team”

mathew barzal x female reader

11. “can i get your number?”

i hope it’s okay i kind of changed it from number to instagram since it was more fitting! if you want me to change it to number just lmk!! <3

“i cannot believe that you’re wearing a wild jersey right now, you should be ashamed” your friend jackson exclaims. “oh hush, when we beat the islanders i’ll laugh in your face” “yeah yeah whatever you think,” he says. “honestly i cant believe we’re even sitting with you, aren’t you embarrassed to be wearing a minnesota jersey at the home of the islanders?!” your other friend sierra jokes, earning a chuckle from both you and jackson. “okay okay quit it you two” you roll your eyes playfully.

clearly you’re a minnesota wild fan, but you’re living in new york. you and your best friends got tickets to a wild vs islanders game, and somehow managed to get tickets not only right by the ice, but also next to the penalty box. the teams begin to come out for warmups and you and your friends watch as the players skate right by you. although you don’t really care for any of the islanders players, of course you know who they are. you begin to look at your phone as sierra and jackson fan over their favorite players, until suddenly someone bumps into the glass right in front of you, causing you to flinch. you instantly look up and see none other than mathew barzal looking back at you. he has a disappointed look on his face and you shrug out of confusion. he points to your jersey, and you start laughing.

“wrong team” he mouths to you before skating off. you’re stood there in shock as sierra and jackson freak out over what just happened. “holy shit y/n! that was insane! why are you not freaking out?!” “i am! but i don’t really care for the islanders, let alone the one and only cocky mathew barzal.” you chuckle, making your friends roll their eyes at you. suddenly before the teams exit the ice to change into their game jerseys, mat comes back to where you and your friends are standing. he’s holding a puck in his hand, and he tosses it over, making sure only you get it.

your mouth falls agape out of pure confusion. why is he giving me a puck if i’m wearing the opposing teams jersey?? you think to yourself. as you look at the puck you notice something written along the side of it in semi-sloppy silver handwriting. you audibly gasp as you read what was written across the puck, grabbing both of your friends attention. “what?! what does it say?” sierra asks. “it says, ‘can i get your insta?’ on it!” “no way, you’re lying!” jackson says. “i’m not look!” you hand him the puck, and he starts to read it. “how do i give him my instagram?” you question. “ma’am i thought you ‘didn’t care for mathew barzal’ or am i hearing things” sierra pokes your side. “shut up, he’s hot and he’s an nhl player who asked for my instagram. now help me figure out how to get him my insta!” “the game is starting, we’ll figure it out later!” jackson says as he puts his phone away.

turns out there was no need to figure it out later, because mat had a plan all along. 12 minutes into the first period mat “accidentally” got a penalty for high sticking. as he skates his way into the penalty box, you watch as he smiles at you. you instantly grab your phone and type in large letters your instagram username, which thankfully is something simple. mat nods, as he exits the penalty box and returns back to the ice.

after the game is over you don’t have much luck with getting any other chances of communicating with mat, and you assume he’s already forgotten your name, that’s until a notification appears on your phone.

barzal97 has requested to follow you.

you gasp, shocked that he must’ve written down your name during intermission, or that he remembered it. either way he was being totally serious, and you still couldn’t comprehend. after a few minutes of panicking, you press accept and you start following him back.

mat: hey, i didn’t forget your name!

you: after all the effort you put in to learn it, i’d really hope you wouldn’t forget it

mat: luckily i didn’t. anyways, i have a couple questions for you

you: alright shoot ‘em at me

mat: well first, what brings you, what im assuming to be a minnesotan, to new york?

you: work and college. i went to nyu and now im living here full time.

mat: ah i see, yet you’re not an islanders fan aye?

you: my best friends are, they both grew up here. that’s who i was with tonight

mat: i see i see, although you’re rooting for the wrong team, i was wondering if maybe i could take you out sometime.

you: hmm i’d have to see. i think i’m pretty busy rooting for the wrong team, mr. barzal

mat: how’s friday at 7?

you: perfect.

#mathew barzal #mat barzal #barzy #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal fluff #mathew barzal x reader #mat barzal x reader #new york islanders #hockey imagine #hockey blurb

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lottesreads · 5 months

Text

Why Me? - Part 6

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, bruises, (someone gets punched), details of panic attacks, swearing, one "daddy" joke, pining, big Rooster warning here, mommy issues, mentions of death, insecurities

Word Count: 5860

Summary: Going over flight maneuvers for the day doesn't go as everyone planned. Somethings from your past get revealed, and you grow a little closer to Bob.

A/N: PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS, this one is a little heavier and angstier, so I apologize for that. Things will get better though! Also, sorry for taking so long, I started a new job and had to take two tests so yay for me.

Masterlist

After what you are now calling the most awkward lunch ever, the day goes by… fine. The squad spends the remaining hours listening to feedback from your father, which surprisingly doesn’t ruffle anyone’s feathers too much. You pin it on the fact that it’s a Friday and everyone just wants to get out as soon as they can. You, of course, want to get out of there as well to spend time with Bob, and finally meet Sylvia. From all the pictures you’ve seen and how Bob describes her, she seems like the perfect dog.

But you’re also thinking about what Phoenix propositioned Bob with as well. It had sent you spiraling. All you can think about as Mav drones on about Payback and Fanboy’s practically perfect barrel roll, is how Bob is being set up with this woman. A woman, might you add, that he has never met or heard of before this day. You can’t help but stare straight in front of you, right at the back of Bob’s head. You’re able to see the tiniest bit of his profile, the wire frames peaking out atop his cheek. You’d like to believe you aren’t jealous. But history proves this wrong time and time again. This woman is just another thing you can add to the ever-growing list.

Bob turns his head ever so slightly, catching a glimpse of you staring out of his peripheral vision. You immediately look down at your papers, attempting to act as if you’re in deep thought about what Payback and Fanboy could have done better. Your eyes stay still on the paper as your brain moves a million miles a minute. God, Bob. Why did he have to be such an amazing person? You would have been able to move on if you had gotten to know him and realized he had a crappy personality, but unfortunately that is not the case. Now you’re stuck feeling jealous over some random woman who has no idea the implications of her attending Phoenix’s party next weekend. You chance a glance back up to Bob’s face and find that he’s already turned back to look at you.

“Mantis”, he whispers as he motions his head to the front of the room, right where your dad is staring you down.

“Sir”, you say, straightening up in your own seat. He raises his brow in a warning, as you shift your attention to the screen, seeing now that your own flights are up for critique.

“Thank you. Now that I have your attention, I have to say I am seeing noticeable room for improvement.” He turns back from the screen, pointing to where you took too sharp of a turn, or where you needed to slow down. You write down everything he says, even as the tips of your ears begin to burn in embarrassment. He is your captain, you know this. Everyone else knows this, but they also know what it feels like to get scolded by a dad. And you can’t help but see the similarities at this moment. He finally finishes after what feels like an eternity as he looks back at you, “Any questions?”

“No sir”, you respond bluntly. He was being nitpicky, for once in his life, and you weren’t sure what caused it at this moment. But you’re still a little confused at what you thought was a perfect run.

“Alright Rooster, you’re up.” You glance over to Rooster’s hard stare as he brings his gaze to the front of the room. You cannot wait to see your dad rip him a new one. It’s what he deserves, and honestly you could fly circles around this guy. “I have to say, I am thoroughly impressed with your work today.” Wait, what? Rooster’s face softens into a slight grin as your brow furrows in his direction. Folding your arms across your chest you sink back into your chair, watching as your dad gives Rooster a glowing review. An undeserved one in your opinion. And then Mav decides to tell you one of the worst ideas he’s ever had.

“Single-seaters, I’m gonna put you in groups and you’re going to go over the notes I gave you to hopefully help you execute these maneuvers better. Two-seaters, you’re going to do the same, but with your pilots and your WSO’s.” At this point, you’re just hoping you’re with Coyote or Fritz, hell, even Hangman. Mav looks down at his podium, going over the list before announcing them, “Fritz and Coyote, you’re a pair. And then we’ll have Rooster, Hangman, and Mantis as a group.”

“Jesus Christ”, you mumble under your breath. Was he trying to kill you? As the rest of the pairs move around to find places to talk, you very lazily turn your head in Rooster’s direction as he does the same to you. Hangman is standing in the aisle, looking back and forth at the both of you, very confused as to the standoff happening before him. You really don’t want to get up and walk over to Rooster. It may seem stupid, and childish, but you are not going to let him think you’re just going to waltz back over to him. Hangman breathes out a laugh, shaking his head at the two of you, ultimately taking the seat next to you. It makes you smile inside watching Rooster roll his eyes as he pulls up a spare chair.

“If any of you need me, I will be in a meeting with Cyclone and Warlock, so please direct any concerns to Hondo”, Mav announces as he points to Hondo giving a small wave in the back of the room.

“Well”, Hangman starts, “Since daddy-dearest gave Rooster a perfect score, I guess that just leaves you and me, Mantis.”

“No surprise there”, you mutter as you start looking through your notes. Rooster scoffs from the other side of Hangman, prompting you to look up at him. “What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t realize you’d be so bitter about someone on your team doing well. But then again I shouldn’t be surprised.” Adding a smile onto the end of his sentence he goes back to sorting through his notes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I just think that when you have to rely on each other, you should be happy when someone does well. Especially when it’s our lives at stake here.”

“Well, I think giving someone confidence in their lack-luster abilities is dangerous, to everyone.” You say, folding your arms.

“And I completely agree”, Rooster nods, “that’s why Mav was honest with you. If he inflated that false confidence anymore than it already is, your head might have exploded.” Hangman raises his brows at the exchange before him. Why your dad thought it was a good idea to pair the three of you together, he’ll never know.

“Do you guys wanna get back to-”

“Oh, I have false confidence?”

“Or not”, Hangman finishes his sentence after being interrupted. Interrupted, not heard. It doesn’t really matter at this point while he tries to fade into his seat, waiting for this argument to be over and done with.

“He’s literally just blowing smoke up your ass, so you’ll ‘believe in yourself’”, you add in air-quotes, “or whatever bullshit he made up. Or maybe he just wants to get on your good side to make up for lost time.” You’re vaguely aware of your own voice raising as everyone else’s conversations start dwindling and they turn to your group.

“Are you still on that? I thought we were past it already.” He responds, visibly agitated by your persistence.

“No, Rooster, you two got past that. I haven’t heard a goddamn word from you on the matter, or an apology. So no, I’m not past that.”

“Oh do you really wanna start this here?” Rooster asks, daring you.

“Oh I really do.” You respond just as sure. “So whenever you’re ready to apologize you know where to find me.”

“Everything alright over here?” Hondo has since made his way over to your group as he stands to your right. You obviously hadn’t noticed being too caught up in whatever this is.

“You think you deserve an apology?” Rooster’s voice raises, caught off guard.

“Yes! Why wouldn’t I? You just left, and even though I was twelve I still tried to get in contact with you for six years after the fact.”

“And you think I should be sorry for that? For the fact that I didn’t answer the phone when you tried to rub it in my face that he just let you go to the Academy?”

“You think after you he just let me go?!”

“Of course I do! That’s the only reason you’re sitting in this room with the rest of us!” Rooster stands right as you do, now physically looking down on you between the barrier that Hangman creates. He’s pushing on Rooster’s chest, while a hand comes to rest on your shoulder.

“Is that what you’re angry about? You’re jealous of me?” You ask incredulously, still not lowering your volume.

“Why the FUCK would I be jealous of you?”

“Rooster” Phoenix warns him. He continues anyway.

“Jealous of the fact that your Navy connections bought you into the TopGun program in the first place, into the Academy? Huh?!” You almost flinch as he gets closer to your face, but you hold steady, chest heaving in anger still, but not backing down. “Or is it the fact that you think I’m jealous of your family, cause that sure as hell isn’t-”

“That is ENOUGH.” Hondo announces. “You are supposed to be professionals, how many of these meetings are going to end in fights?!” Your stony gaze falls from Rooster to the hand on your shoulder. You recognize the long fingers as Bob’s, he squeezes your shoulder lightly as if asking if you’re ok. You’re not, but the fact that he’s here and has your back has you taking a deep breath in, deeper than any you’ve been able to take since Rooster opened his big mouth.

“Ya know”, Hangman starts, “back in the olden Navy days they would have handed you boxing gloves and let you fight it out from there.” His attempt to relieve the tension falls flat as the rest of the team gauges if the two of you are actually done fighting.

“Yeah well”, Rooster responds, “From what I remember Mantis does a better job taking a punch than throwing one. Just ask her mom.” And just like that your breaths grow shallow again as your stomach drops. An audible breath leaves your mouth as everyone’s eyes fall from Rooster to you, and as much as you try to remain stoic, your bottom lip begins to wobble as your mouth falls open slightly. There’s an immediate sense of remorse in Rooster’s eyes as he realizes what he just said. But much like everything else he’s done, it’s too late. The damage has already been done.

“ROOSTER”, Phoenix scolds him. You don’t even stay to hear the rest of it, turning on your heel you leave the room, not being able to stand the looks of pity from your teammates. Once in the hallway you make your way to the women’s locker room. Each footstep seems louder than the next. The closer you get, the heavier the tears start to form on your lash line, only falling once you slam the door open and swing the curtain closed in a shower stall. Sliding down the wall of the cubicle, you hug your knees to your chest, attempting to silence the cries that are only coming naturally with the tears. It’s getting harder to breathe, even as you attempt to take large breaths.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Phoenix yells as she pushes Rooster. No one dares to stop her as she continues to berate him. Bob is absolutely stunned at the information Rooster just dropped, but is shaken out of his thoughts as he looks at the door you just fled through. By the way you rushed out of here, he thinks you’d like to be alone, but on the off chance you need someone, he slips out of the room to go find you. He passes the men’s locker room and heads to the women’s hoping that’s where you escaped. Knocking on the door, he slowly opens it.

“Hello? Is anybody in here?” He doesn’t receive an answer, but he can hear someone crying who he can only assume is you. “Mantis, are you ok?” Still no answer. “Mantis, I’m coming in” With his eyes glued to the floor he follows the sounds of your sniffling and sobs until he reaches you. “Hey, I’m opening the curtain, ok?” He slowly slides back the curtain to find you in the corner of the stall, face tucked between your knees as you attempt to take in ragged breaths. He’s immediately on his knees in front of you and his heart breaks at the sight. He thinks you know he’s there, but he can’t be sure. It’s obvious you’re in the middle of a panic attack and he doesn’t want to scare you, so he gently rests a hand on your knee.

“Mantis, can you hear me?” You raise your head at his voice, revealing a very red and splotchy face as tears continue to fall out of your eyes. Your breathing is still very ragged as you grip his hand on your knee as if he would float away if you let go. He would never dream of doing such a thing, but he grips your hand right back.

“It’s ok, I just need you to breathe for me, alright?” You nod your head at his words as he demonstrates taking deep breaths in, holding, then letting them out. You’re attempting to follow them as your head continues to swim, taking note of this he moves your hand from your knee to over his heart, pressing it against his chest. “I’m right here”, he tells you as you continue to follow his breathing. The soothing nature of his heartbeat helps to bring you back down to earth. And little by little you start to feel the rest of your body come to its senses. It starts with your fingertips, feeling the pressure of Bob’s rough hand pressing it against his steadily beating chest, as the feeling crawls up your arms and legs. The tears begin to subside and all that’s left is the dried tracks they left as they swam down your cheeks.

Bob remains in front of you the entire time, even as you realize just how close the two of you are, he doesn’t falter. You’re now acutely aware that your hand is still sandwiched between his hand and chest, your fingers instinctively wiggle against his as you finger the material of his flight suit.

“Are you gonna be alright if I leave you here for a sec?” You nod, not daring to make eye contact. “Ok, I’ll be right back.” He places your hand back against your knee as you stare at the spot he once occupied, your head beginning to ache. There are still so many emotions going on, but your body is starting to feel the after effects.

Bob’s quite literally back in under a minute as he assumes his previous position, only now holding a bottle of water. He opens it for you as you graciously accept it, taking a couple small sips to start out with. You manage a small “Thank you” as you hand the bottle back to Bob. Embarrassment begins to overtake your system as you curl back in on yourself.

“Are you feeling any better?” You nod your head slightly, still avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Any time”, and though other people would pass it off as a way of Bob trying to say you’re welcome, you know he genuinely would help you any time you needed him. You’re still not sure what to say, so you don’t say anything. Bob moves to sit next to you against the wall, not breaking the silence.

“You don’t have to stay here with me”, you manage to croak out.

“I know.” He says so sure. “I just need to make sure you’re gonna be ok.” You let a deep sigh out through your mouth as you lean your head back against the tile wall. At this moment you’re just feeling drained. That’s what panic attacks usually do. You were just so mad at him, and then he shared one of your deepest, darkest secrets in front of all of your coworkers. You had maybe thought you’d be able to patch up your relationship with him if he owned up to his mistakes, but now? You don’t think you’ll ever be able to get past this. If your dad wants to spend so much time with Rooster, let him. You don’t want to see his face ever again, which you know is a big ask, knowing that you have to work together. Maybe you should just put in a transfer, it’s not like you see your dad a lot outside of work anyway. You’d miss most of these people more than they’d miss you.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Bob gingerly grabbing your wrist and facing your palm upwards, and reaching into his pocket he retrieves something, laying it down in your hand. He lets it go and you miss his touch as he rests his hands on his knees. Looking down at your palm, you realize that he’s left a single penny behind.

“What’s this?”

“A penny”

“I can see that”, you smile slightly, “what’s it doing in my hand?”

“This may shock you, but when I was younger, I wasn’t much of a talker. Sometimes it was like pullin’ teeth to get me to talk-”

“I know the feeling”

“Yes, well, my Grandpa noticed how it didn’t come easy to me. So sometimes when he noticed I had a lot going on he would hand me a penny, and without having to ask, I would just start talkin’”

“A literal penny for your thoughts” you realize outloud. You grasp the penny, staring as you hold it between your fingers.

“It doesn’t mean you have to say anything”, Bob rushes out, “Just- if you want, you’re free to share your thoughts with me. No judgment” This is quite possibly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever shared with you, and staring at the penny you know you’re safe with Bob. Safe to share your feelings, safe from… anything really.

“I really want to tell Rooster to go fuck himself.” Bob gives you a small chuckle.

“Well, I think Phoenix may be doing that as we speak.” Good, you think to yourself. You shift the coin between your fingers and thumb before deciding to speak again.

“I was so sad, for so many years. And now I’m just starting to feel angry. Every time I see his face, I just can’t stop myself from laying into him.” It’s quiet for a moment as Bob waits to let you continue. “I don’t think I’m asking for too much, or that I went too far. And he just- God, he just laid it all out there for everyone.” Bob notices your fist beginning to clench and he slowly reaches over to grasp your hand in his.

“I’m sorry. And if it means anything, I don’t think you’re asking for too much.” You hadn’t even realized you started crying again until Bob’s thumb was swiping a stray tear away. Your breath catches in your throat and his hand moves away quickly, as if touching your face had hurt him. He clears his throat. “Were you going to wait for your dad, or did you want me to take you home?”

“Home? I thought I was supposed to meet Sylvia today?”

“Oh, yeah”, Bob chokes back, surprise coating his features, “We can go to… my place then?”

“If that’s alright with you?”

“Of course it is”, Bob says almost too quickly. “I mean”, he coughs, “Sylvia, she would love to meet ya”. And then he gives you a smile. You know the one, it’s closed mouth but it causes his cheeks to scrunch up beneath his eyes, taking over half his face. It’s almost enough to make you forget about this whole day.

He stands, offering you his hands to help you off the ground. He doesn’t leave you immediately at first, he just stands in front of you as if assessing the situation. Weighing his options. Glancing down at his watch, he looks at the door, “I think everyone should have gone home for the day. But if you want, you can wait in here while I grab my stuff?” You nod, taken aback at his thoughtfulness once again.

He leaves for a short bit while you grab your own bag from your locker. He knocks on the door once again, signaling his return as you make your way through the halls. The setting sun illuminates the parking lot and glares at you through the glass doors. Bob opens the door allowing you to go first as you spot his truck and make your way to it. The ache in your head is starting to come back and you can’t wait to take your hair out of the tight bun it’s in now.

“Mantis!”, you turn around as someone calls your name and immediate regret fills your system. You roll your eyes at the sight of Rooster walking toward you as you turn to keep walking, Bob right behind you.

“Mantis!”, he yells again as if you didn’t hear him the first time. “Come on Bug!” You stop in your tracks, rage once again emanating from your pores. Turning on your heel, you drop your bag onto the asphalt. This catches Rooster by surprise as he stops right before you.

“Do NOT call me that”, you grit through a clenched jaw as you point your finger at him. You can’t help the way your arm shakes in anger.

“Sorry”, he lets out dejectedly, placing his hands on his hips. Even if your brow wasn’t furrowed from squinting in the sun you have a feeling you’d still be staring at him with the same expression.

“Oh, so you do know that word”, you scoff. Rooster bites his tongue as he looks down at his feet. “And I’m not in the mood to talk, so save it for someone else who doesn’t want to hear it.” In the distance you’re aware of Bob throwing his bag in the back of his truck as he grabs yours and does the same.

“I just want to-”

“I told you, I’m not in the mood”, you move to turn to Bob’s truck as Rooster reaches out and grabs your wrist.

“Mantis, c’mon-” The grip on your wrist sends your senses into overdrive as anger takes over. As he tugs on your wrist, you turn and collide your free fist into his face. It’s funny really, you weren’t aiming for anything in particular but you land it right on his cheekbone. It was enough force and surprise to knock him backwards

“Jesus Christ!” he shouts, grasping his face in his hand. Tears begin to well up in your eyes for the second time today as you shake out your hand. “What the hell is your problem?” He yells at you.

“Carole would be so disappointed in you”, you rasp out, cradling your hand. You stare Rooster down as he looks up at you in shock, until he can’t stand to anymore and tears his eyes away. Bob’s standing right behind you as you turn and bump into his chest.

“Are you ok?” he asks, lightly resting his hands on your shoulders.

“No”, you whisper, “Let’s just get out of here.” You don’t dare to spare a look back at Rooster, but Bob does as he leads you to his truck. The man is standing at his full height now with his shoulders slumped. The skin just under his eye is already starting to swell as he watches you walk away this time.

The ride back to Bob’s is quiet as you stare out the window. The radio’s humming quietly in the background and he doesn’t dare disrupt the silence, so he takes a glance at your hand. The skin around your knuckles is slightly irritated from the force you punched Rooster with, but other than that it doesn’t look too bad. He knew you were tough, but he never thought he’d see you punch someone in the face. If it had to be someone, he was glad it was Rooster though. That guy had it coming, especially after what he said today. You’re still staring out the window with a look of indifference, and you still had the penny he gave to you earlier, but you hadn’t said anything about what Rooster had revealed. So, he wasn’t going to push it until you were ready or wanted to talk about it.

You’re pulled out of your trance once the truck stops in Bob’s driveway. He grabs both of your bags before you’re able to grab yours, but he stops as he’s about to open the door.

“Just a warning, it’s probably a mess in here, so I apologize.”

“I have a feeling that your definition of a mess is my definition of clean.” He gives you a slight smile as he opens the door.

“Only one way to find out.” Opening the door you find, just as you suspected, an immaculate house. There may be a couple dog toys lying around, but that’s about it. You’re startled a little bit as Bob whistles, “Syl! Come ‘ere girl!” You smile at the accent coming through, and then the thump of something on the second floor running down the stairs. Sylvia comes barreling down the hallway as fast as her claws against the hardwood allow her. Bob is immediately on his knees in front of her, scratching behind her ears and speaking in what you can only describe as baby-talk, “Oh Syl, I’m so sorry. Daddy was gone for such a long time today wasn’t he?” You’re attempting to hold back a laugh, eyebrows shooting up at his use of the word “daddy”.

Sylvia’s tail stops wagging as she notices you standing behind her dad. Bob looks back at you and then at the dog, “Now Sylvia, this is Mantis. Mantis is a very good friend of mine, and I know she has a funny name, but you’re just gonna have to get over that, ok?” You can’t help but chuckle at how talkative he is with her, and even as you stare at her enormous brown eyes you immediately crave her approval. You start to kneel down next to Bob, but before you’re able to get on your knees Sylvia is cowering away and running back upstairs. You huff out in frustration as you stare at her retreating form.

“Hey, it’s alright”, Bob explains, “Like I said, she’s kinda skittish, and it takes a little bit for her to warm up to new people.” You nod in understanding as Bob leads you to his living room. It’s fairly simple, and again very clean. Bob tells you to take a seat as he grabs you a glass of water from the kitchen directly behind the living area.

“So daddy, huh?” The glass just about slips out of Bob’s hand upon hearing your use of the word. He swallows, taking a moment to collect himself.

“Uhm”, he coughs, “Yeah, I don’t know. It just sort of happened.”

“It’s cute”, you smile to yourself. Bob returns with a glass of water and an ice-pack wrapped in a kitchen towel. He awkwardly offers it to you as you accept it.

“For your hand”

“Oh yeah, thanks.” You lift it in appreciation before placing it on your knuckles. Wincing at first at the sensitivity. Bob sits a little farther down on the couch and watches you fiddle with something in your pocket. You tentatively reach for the penny, turning it over before handing it over to Bob. He laughs through his nose, nodding as a smile plays on his face.

“Come on, it’s your turn now.” Bob begins to chew on his bottom lip, avoiding your eyes. “If you want to ask me about it, it’s ok”, you let out more solemnly. He glances over at you, huffing out a sigh.

“How’s your hand?” He decides on, making you laugh.

“Not what I meant, but it’s ok. A little stiff.” You get the sense that he wants to know, but is getting shy with you again. And even though he doesn’t ask, you get an overwhelming urge to tell him. Taking in a shaky breath, you start in the only place you know where to, “Do you know how I got my call-sign?” He shakes his head.

“Although, I do recall you telling Hangman you’d bite his fucking head off” The two of you laugh. Sylvia, just as sneaky as her dad, pops her head up out of nowhere, resting it on Bob’s thigh. His hand instinctively goes to pet her head as you try not to acknowledge her existence, hoping she’ll make her way over to you.

“That’s what I like to tell people. But, no. When I was a kid, I was deathly afraid of insects, still am if I’m being honest. But, there was one incident”, you smile at the memory, “Where I was at the park, and I turned to look behind me and there was a praying mantis, just sitting on my shoulder. I, of course, freaked out and was trying to get it off me, but it wasn’t until Carole- Bradley’s mom, calmed me down where she was able to carefully pick it up and take it off me.” You’re laughing a little at this point, and Bob can’t help but smile at your own.

“She got me to stop crying and explained that it was just a little bug”, you swallow, staring down at your iced hand, “like me.” Bob’s face softens as he remembers Rooster’s words. “That became her nickname for me, and when she died and Bradley left, nobody called me it again until-” You cut yourself off, choked up just talking about Carole, and remembering how Bradley used to be. Before he was Rooster.

“Anyway, I hadn’t had a run-in with a praying mantis until flight school. I was out on a hike with the rest of my class, and what do I see on my shoulder when I turn around? A damn praying mantis. I screamed again, just like the first time, and everyone thought it was hilarious. So, the name Mantis stuck. It just felt like…” you struggle to find the word.

“Fate”, Bob finishes the sentence for you. You look up and find his eyes trained on you. Giving him a slight smile, you nod your head.

“Yeah, exactly.” Your eyes remain on his, and your heart beats a little faster. “So I’m not exactly bug, but that’s ok, because I don’t think anyone but Carole can call me that. Even if Bradley used to-” You look away, only to find Sylvia standing between you and Bob. Having must inched her way closer while you spoke, “I don’t want him to anymore.”

“I think that makes a lot of sense, and I also think Mantis suits you.” You smile and dare to reach your hand out to Sylvia, who simply sniffs the approaching limb. She nudges her nose closer, sniffing your palm as you very gently scratch her ear, much like Bob did earlier. She leans into it, daring to walk closer to you. Taking in a deep breath, you let it out before you lose the courage.

“It wasn’t a regular thing”, Bob’s loving gaze at Sylvia falls as he looks up at you, “Just when she got really angry, or I reminded her too much of my dad I guess.” Your hand stops petting Sylvia as you stare at the glass of water on the coffee table, the condensation dripping down onto the coaster Bob thoughtfully placed underneath it. “Carole and my dad found bruises a couple different times, but I was too embarrassed to tell them how they got there. But she knew. I guess Bradley must have known, too, or he wouldn’t have brought it up today. I think they tried to do something about it, but they wouldn’t grant full custody to my dad because of his work, and… I don’t really know what happened after that.” Sylvia’s head now rests on your thigh, much like it did earlier with Bob. You grant her a small smile, moving your hand once again to give her some attention.

You don’t have to look up to know that Bob’s staring at you. Your nose starts to tingle, alerting you to the fact that tears were starting to form in your eyes. “It got better when she remarried, her focus wasn’t on me as much anymore. She was busy with her husband and his kids.” You scrunch your nose, attempting to rid yourself of the feeling, but it’s no use. The tears start to fall and you hastily wipe them away with your free hand. “Jesus, sorry”, you say as you give him a watery laugh.

“Don’t be sorry”, your tears continue to fall, “None of this is your fault.” Bob’s words hit you deep as you stare at the ceiling, willing these tears to stop, but they just won’t. “Can- Can I hug you?” You look over at Bob and give him a fast nod of your head.

“Yes please”, you whisper. He moves along the couch to get closer to you, and then wraps you up in both his arms as you do the same. Even through both of your flight suits, Bob is warm as you melt into him. Your eyes close as you breathe him in. He smells like sweat and jet fuel from being in a plane all day, and you’re sure you smell the same. It’s comforting nonetheless.

Bob just wants to pick you up and take you far away from here. Away from everyone that dares to make you hurt. He feels you sag against him and he pulls you just the tiniest bit closer as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo. He’s realizing now it’s been a while since he’s hugged someone like this, and maybe it’s the case for you, too. His hand goes to soothe along your back and your eyes flutter shut at the motion. He remembers you saying your mom wasn’t too happy when she found out about the Naval Academy, and he doesn’t want to think about what happened after the fact.

“I’m sorry you have to go through all that”, he whispers just above your ear.

“It’s alright, things are starting to look up”, you sniffle, pulling him just a little bit tighter.

Taglist:

@lemmons1998

@itsmytimetoodream

@theamuz

#bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd fic #bob floyd x reader #mavdad #robert bob floyd x female reader #top gun fandom #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick

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dandylovesturtles · 3 months

Text

just a little write-up for one of my sillier AUs that I have in my head because I was thinking about it and just wanted to chat about it. this is all meant for spooky funsies so don't take anything too seriously here.

I do plan to write one of my Bad Things Happen Bingo entries set in this AU (no idea when I'll actually get around to it, but anyway) and maybe some other things in this AU if I feel like it. It just floats around in my head sometimes.

this is very very vaguely inspired by the old show So Weird, or more specifically the hazy memories of So Weird that I have from when I watched it as a child lol

ROTTMNT Paranormal Investigator AU!

Timeline:

instead of being a martial arts clan, the Hamato clan is a clan of psychics, people who have a mystical connection to the paranormal and supernatural, able to see things other humans cannot. their task is to keep the balance between our world and the world of the supernatural, and to protect humanity from particularly malicious spirits, demons, and cryptids

after losing his mother to the fight against a demon, Hamato Yoshi decides to leave the clan and eventually becomes a famous movie star

unfortunately with no one around to keep balance, the forces of the paranormal start to encroach on the mortal world more and more, wreaking havoc

the boys are still mutant turtles and Yoshi still ends up a rat. how? idk. honestly it's not important. it's a thing that is mostly lampshaded in this AU lol I just still wanted them to be turtles. I think Draxum is still here and he still wanted to make warriors using the Lou Jitsu DNA but the whole thing went astray and now he's just like their weird uncle they call sometimes when they have a problem

as they get older, various dangerous paranormal events convince Yoshi that he needs to begin training his sons in their clan's ancient arts and honing their psychic abilities, so that they can begin to restore balance in the world

uuuunfortunately he's super rusty and the kids are still learning so they have to do a lot of investigating of rumors and tips that get sent to them. this means a lot of legwork and a loooot of nothing. like 95% of what the boys deal with are misunderstandings, hoaxes, and rich assholes taking advantage of local legends for nefarious schemes

the other 5% though... those are the doozies

Yoshi has an apartment in New York that the kids grew up in but now they spend a lot of their time traveling the country in a big ass camper (van life)

also April is here

Leo

the skeptic

up until they ran into their first real paranormal occurrence, Leo was fully convinced that all this ghost stuff was nonsense and his dad was just trying to come up with some kind of publicity stunt since his acting career is behind him

after their first real paranormal occurrence, he believes it's real, but he's still super skeptical that most things they hear about are going to amount to anything

and 95% of the time he's right, which he always reminds his brothers of and this is very annoying to the rest of them

he still enjoys traveling around in the van though so he doesn't complain much

super good at scouting out clues and noticing things that the others don't...when they can get him to actually engage with what they're looking into

Leo is on the lower end in terms of psychic ability, but specifically his psychic powers have manifested as essentially a giant negation field. He can't be possessed, enthralled, hypnotized, or compelled, cryptids tend to shy away from him, he naturally rebuffs other supernatural creatures, etc.

this doesn't really help with trying to convince him that these things are real because they tend to run away from him

Donnie

fully believes that the paranormal is real but takes a highly scientific approach to it. he is going to crack the science behind ghosts and he's already got the spot in his room made for his resulting Nobel Prize. he's gonna be Donatello Hamato, Father of Ectobiology

builds them all kinds of ghost/demon/cryptid hunting gadgets, and is the one that handles all their equipment anywhere they go

reads books on ghosts and cryptozoology and then writes truly scathing reviews on good reads

is also the one who does upkeep on the van (it's only nice as it is because of Donnie)

claims to only care about evidence during a hunt but then has a tendency to get carried away when he thinks he's on the trail of something interesting

still, he can come around to a natural explanation like Leo if he sees enough evidence

he's also on the lower end in terms of psychic ability; what he does have gives him information. he's able to see the threads of how spirits connect to and interact with our world, able to tell at a glance when a footprint or dropping is not of natural origin (even if he's never seen it's kind before), able to sense when there may be some evidence the others can't see in the room. sometimes spirits are even compelled to beam knowledge directly to Donnie. also, demons or spirits trying to disguise their true faces doesn't work on him.

which actually freaks him out sometimes but he doesn't tell them that

the twins' psychic power also manifests in a lowkey Twin Sense in this AU; they can't literally read each other's thoughts, but they can feel when the other is having strong emotions or is in pain, and they'll just get a Bad Feeling if the other is in trouble of some kind

Raph

sits somewhere between Leo and Mikey/Donnie on the skepticism scale, but frankly he doesn't care if it's natural or supernatural as long as he can help

cryptids never like him and this bums him out. some of them are cute :c

on the flip side he seems to be a calming presence for certain spirits, especially childish ones

very scared of getting demon possessed, doesn't mention it

actually kind of loves when the solution turns out to be some kind of bad guy and then he gets to help hunt down and catch and unmask them, like some kind of super cool police detective

is the defacto leader because he's the oldest/biggest and no one else wanted the job anyway

drives the van when Yoshi doesn't want to (the others drive it sometimes too but Raph and April are the only ones with an actual license)

has a much higher psychic ability than the twins, able to sense when there is something supernatural in the area, able to talk to spirits, able to touch spirits and demons if they've crossed fully over into our world even if they are normally intangible. means he can punch a demon in the face if he wants to. he's able to do various rituals and exorcisms if needed as well, and can often banish spirits or demons if he knows what they are and how to best get rid of them. often does protection wards on his brothers when he thinks there's something dangerous around.

Mikey

a true believer, but doesn't think it's a puzzle that can be solved like Donnie does. there are things about the world and universe that are unexplainable, and he likes it that way

if the solution is something natural he's pretty much useless at helping though

"don't run off-" Mikey is already on the other side of the haunted house

is easily the most restless when cooped up in the van and prefers when they decide to camp at a campsite. loves sleeping outside.

Leo and Mikey are still close, but have a very highkey sibling rivalry over their differences of opinion with regards to the supernatural and what they're even doing

even still, Leo tries to stay close to Mikey to protect him (but Mikey often runs off so its a moot point)

unsurprisingly, Mikey is the strongest psychic of the bunch, and is in fact ridiculously strong. he can sense the presence of spirits, can communicate with them even if they haven't fully crossed over into our world, and can even do some minor mind reading and tell when people are being untruthful or compelled (he has to actively choose to do it though so his fam's privacy is safe. sometimes he gets visions of things that are about to happen. unfortunately he's also very vulnerable to possession and compulsion because of this, and cryptids are attracted to him, for good or ill. sometimes the things they cross are friendly or just looking for help, and Mikey is happy to do so! other times... not so much

April

she already believed in the supernatural before meeting the boys and meeting them just cemented her worldview for her

she loves ghost hunting/paranormal investigation for the thrill of it all

goes with the boys whenever she doesn't actively have to be in school; demands all the details when she can't be there

the one walking in yelling WHAT'S UP DEMONS, IT'S YA GIRL

along the way she picked up Mayhem and he's her pet now. he can teleport her to the boys if they need her help and she's still in New York

absolutely no psychic ability but she does have a bat

Yoshi

almost as powerful as Mikey, but retired

gives the boys lessons but otherwise usually stays in the van watching TV while they're actively investigating

only steps in if he thinks something terrible is about to happen

usually it's fine

#rottmnt #rise leo #rise donnie #rise raph #rise mikey #rise splinter #rise april

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buthowboutno · 4 months

Text

ONE YEAR OF "AND THEY WERE LAB PARTNERS" ✨✨✨

Thank you to everyone who participated in the one year anniversary poll!! I still maintain that it would be funny as /fuck/ to just delete “And They Were Lab Partners” in a memento mori fashion, but alas; Only one person voted for it.

Cowards /j

In any case, the majority voted for the behind the scenes stuff, so here we are! The tidbits of how ATWLP turned into the fucking beast it is.

I would like to personally blame @morning-sun-brah , @hitechlatte, and @ordin-arily for being such big inspirations in this corner of the fandom. You guys are amazing and I probably wouldn't be where I am today without your works.

Shout out to all my losers in the backrooms for keeping me going and being such terrible influences. You are all responsible for the horrors that have been unleashed. A solid third of my content exists because of your sins /aff.

@beckerboopin is the best beta anyone could ask for and has only brought this story up to the next level. I would die for you becks <3

Also @betyoudidntcthatcoming-blog is the love of my life that I only met ‘cause of this fic or whatever. They’re pretty neat. I guess. :p

ANYWAYS, /CONTENT/

(Major Spoilers Ahead Pre-Chapter 23)

—

I would like to remind everyone that ATWLP was only supposed to be 50k words. You can still witness my naivety in the notes of “Pudge ‘Preciation.”

How… simple those times were.

How I so firmly believed the idiots would be kissing by chapter 16. How a projected word count of 150k words seemed unfathomable for a single work, much less a work with multiple published and planned companion pieces.

Crazy. (I was crazy once.)

There was a lot of ATWLP that ended up getting scrapped as I got further into the story. The idiots had a lot of opinions and tugged at me a few different ways as I got to know them better. (aka they wouldn’t listen to me when I told them to fucking kiss already.)

Anyways, some of the few major structural changes:

Casey was originally supposed to reveal that he knew Sweet’s in the bad timeline during the “Intro to Sparring” chapter. That chapter was also originally slotted to happen /before/ the kidnapping debacle, but it just so happened to fit in better later

The stage kiss from “Hit the Club” was going to be in the Nerd Prom chapter. It felt too corny at the time (and lowkey still feels corny) so I put that in my pocket for later. For as much as y’all yelled at me for it, it barely made the final cut lmao.

The way the idiots are going to confess to each other is a COMPLETE 180 from how I planned the story from the beginning, which was already entirely different from the first idea for this fic. I wrote a whole ass chapter about an accidental kiss being the tipping point of them positively macking on each other, which I did end up cutting into convenient pieces for other stuff. (I PUT A PART OF IT DOWN BELOW)

Sweets was going to be kidnapped twice and the whole Purple Dragons debacle was going to be drawn out more. There was a lot more action planned than slice of life content at ATWLP’s conception. For better or for worse, this is where the story led us.

Donnie’s mating season wasn’t going to be as involved in the story, if in it at all. I grew to be hornier and less ashamed. You’re welcome.

The first title for this fic was “Lab Rat: a Story of Nerds Falling in Love.” For the life of me I cannot remember what compelled me to change it, but holy shit am I glad I did.

I was going to use (y/n) in this fic. No hate to those who do, but stylistically I’m pretty happy with not doing that.

And because I have no control over the idiots, quick rundown of the chapters that weren’t supposed to happen.

Kart Conflict

The Christmas Issue

The Recovery: Day Two

Valentine’s Day Episode

Hit the Club

Aquarium? Hardly Know ‘Em

****Pool Excursion

****Beach Episodes

****honestly just like the entire endgame of this fic

All the ficlets/ alternate POV’s

All the smut! I still have it written down in my original notes that ATWLP was gonna be completely PG lmao. Once again y’all have @morning-sun-brah and her fucking fabulous fics to blame for that

The Valentines’ and aquarium chapters are COMPLETELY different than how I had originally planned, even with being forced to include them in my chart. The Valentine’s day plans that the brothers had “ditched” with Sweets was the og plot for the chapter. The aquarium chapter was supposed to be a rooftop picnic with feels~~, no aquarium even fucking mentioned in my outline.

I don’t have much control over what happens tbh. I am praying that the 37 planned chapters will be the final chapters.

We’ll…. we’ll just have to see how that turns out.

The scrapped plots as a little treat for y’all <3 ~~~

Cut Stage Kiss (after the lift in Nerd Prom)

You leaned closer to Donnie’s face, intent on screeching in his ear for pulling that stunt.

“Kiss them already!” May yelled from the inner edge of the crowd. You turned bright red, blinking at her. You shook your head at her, but the crowd started to catch onto the idea.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

Donnie laughed, a little incredulous. He leaned in close to your ear, whispering, “Theatre kid protocol?”

You nodded in agreement, allowing him to put a hand to your face. He leans into your mouth, making the crowd go wild. You giggle against the thumb separating your lips, smiling against it. Donnie pulled away from you with a dramatic ‘mwah’. You threw your head back, fully laughing as Donnie lifted you up from the dip.

First Valentine’s Day Outline

The final four move to the living room

Sweets: “We’re making friendship bracelets while we watch the most romantic movie of all time.”

Raph: “Shrek 2!”

Donnie: “This is ridiculous”

Sweets: “This holiday is ridiculous, now pick out your five favourite colors of embroidery floss”

Donnie: “....Fine."

Donnie is actually terrible at making bracelets lmao while mikey has wristfuls of them

Donnie: “I don’t understand! I’m following the blueprints exactly!”

Mikey: “The... instructions?”

Donnie: “Whatever! How are you making those so fast? You don’t even have that many friends!”

Mikey: “Physical therapy is a hell of a time, my brother.”

Sweets: “Is Donnie being ableist again?”

Mikey: “I do believe he is.”

Donnie: “I am autistic!”

Sweets: “Bless you.”

ORIGINAL CONFESSION

And it all starts like most things in your life do: a silly mistake.

“Donnie,” you whined. You were working on your physics homework at his desk while he was soldering a new motherboard for the Turtle Tank’s controls.

“Little pest,” he mimicked your tone without looking up. He kept on soldering as you stared at him, not a care in the world.

“Would you be so kind as to look over my work for this problem? I’m following the steps but I’m not getting the right answer.”

“Mmm,” Donnie said. At that moment, a spark flew from his project and caught his exposed cheek. He flinched back, dropping his wire and soldering rod on the table and rubbing his face. You batted your eyes at him while he scowled.

“I don’t know how, but I blame you for that.”

“I would *never*,” you teased. You pushed your chair to the side a bit so Donnie could stand next to you.

He moved his goggles to his head and put his left arm over the back of your chair, leaning over you. He parsed through your work for a minute and tilted his head down to tell you what you needed to fix.

It just so happened that you tilted your head up to ask him a question at the same time, the two of you meeting in the middle with a kiss.

Well, it wasn’t so much of a kiss as it was the two of you accidentally brushing your lips together for a moment. Seconds, almost nothing at all.

But the way that Donnie looked at you when the two of you jumped apart…

That…that wasn’t nothing.

You could almost laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation. You could’ve cracked a joke, played up your ridiculous game of pet names and intellectual bravado.

(To be honest, you almost did.)

But then you thought about the way Donnie’s lips felt against yours. You thought about the way you’d dream of that moment and then proceed to do everything in your power to banish those thoughts away. Your mouth hung open slightly as you looked up at him, trying to will yourself to do anything, anything at all.

Donnie ended up making that decision for you. That oh, so familiar churring started emanating from his chest. He took your face in his hands, looking into your eyes for just a hint of confirmation before leaning in for a real kiss.

Oh.

*Oh*.

(Yeah, you could get used to this.)

There was nothing more you could do than press yourself against him, against his touch. You felt him smiling into the kiss, pressing you down into the chair.

Donnie was *everywhere*, like he was trying to encompass you. His hand moved to your hair, the other to your hip. You smiled when you remembered his adoration for your love-handles all that time ago. You traced along his plastron, making nonsense shapes and mapping out every scar.

He was so responsive. The chirring increased tenfold for every touch to his chest, every soft bite you gave his lips. You recalled all the times he would make noises from you touching along his shell. You pressed your hands fully against him, doing your best to draw out more and more of those sounds.

What Donnie lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. He followed your lead, matching your pace every step of the way. You licked along the seam of his lips, gasping as his mouth opened for you. Donnie’s tongue against yours was tentative, shy even. You did everything in your power to ease Donnie into deepening the kiss.

When he moved from your lips and started kissing down your throat, your soul could have left your body right there. He was so…*gentle*.

Donnie always has been. From when he was slinging his arms around you to kicking your ass in sparring, Donnie has never failed to treat you with care and reverence.

You feel it now, with every soft bite he gives you, every gentle peck behind your ear.

Donnie pulled away from you after what felt like decades. (Never enough, it would never be enough.) You leaned forward after him, trying to close the space he was creating. He looked bashful.

“This might be the proper time to tell you that I have a massive crush on you,” Donnie said. His face was fraught with nervous determination.

“Yeah, no fucking shit,” you said. You stood up from the chair and used your body to push Donnie against the desk. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to your height.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you for forever, can we get on with it?” you said, looking into his eyes. Donnie turned bright red.

“But– you? Do you?” Donnie stammered a bit.

“Donnie,” you deadpanned, crowding into his space, “I’ve had a crush on you for a year, thanks for noticing. Will you *please* lean your face down a bit so I can reach it?”

Donnie looked at you a bit incredulously, like you were a problem he didn’t know how to solve yet. He made quite a picture, all red faced and calculating with a dumb half-smile while he looked at you. But, giving in, he put his arms around you and leaned in to kiss you again.

“Aye, aye, captain.”

You smiled into the kiss, humming with contentment.

He likes you.

—

Aaaaand some random headcanons because I love you guys and I am truly so thankful to this kickass community <3 I truly do not know where I would be without the support y’all have given me.

Donnie has a hella oral fixation

NOT IN A KINKY WAY (most of the time) But as an autist, Donnie do be biting

One of his biggest shows of trust if he bites you while just chilling

Like if donnie is big spoon, he just nom on a shoulder and stay there chillin

Or if reader is body pillow, he’ll lean around and bite their bicep

Good sensations

Donnie draws on eyebrows every day, he for sure would be very good at doing intricate makeup on reader

Gently holds their chin up, concentrated as hell while reader blushes like mad

Donnie keeps getting banned off of roblox

Didn’t matter tbh, he knew how to hack into it to get his account reinstated

Also makes money off of roblox??

never explains to Sweets, very suspicious

Sweets likes to kiss along donnie’s neck/where his battle shell usually sits

The word here is reverence

Donnie is egotistical, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have insecurities about being a mutant turtle and you being a human

Lots of tracing along his arms, his face, his shell

Donnie likes his coffee to be half coffee, half milk to cut down on bitterness. Sweets is a tea drinker normally, but opts for coffee when they can’t focus (which ends up being most of the semester).

Sweets drinks black coffee when they’re on the struggle bus

To quote them, “Black coffee can’t hurt me more than Calc II already has”

But they prefer two creamers and two sugars when they have it in their dorm.

That’s all, congrats on making it to the bottom of this long ass post lmao <3

#atwlp #donnie x reader #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie x reader #donatello x reader #rise donnie x reader #rottmnt fanfiction #fanfiction

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gloriousburden · 3 months

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Debunking the “thanos brainwashed loki” theory (kind of)

DISCLAIMER: i don’t really have any problems with people taking this theory more lighthearted/just as an headcanon/au sort of thing, my issue is when it is accepted as fully canon, and words, meanings, and statements in interviews are completely twisted. people too often use it to mischaracterize loki, and disregard any of his motives, acts, and issues.

when i first got into the mcu and started interacting with the fandom, i too believed this theory when i first heard about it. until i thought about it a little more, and learned more about loki.

i’m aware that this is a little controversial to say since a lot of people truly take the theory as canon and have basically forever now… but in all honesty i REALLY don’t think it’s true. but let me just state that yes, loki definitely was persuaded/coerced into doing the things he did in avengers by thanos and his goons in order to retrieve the tesseract, that’s very canon as we can see in the scene of loki interacting with the other. loki fears thanos for a reason. thanos is a piece of shit and is shown to be a piece of shit to others including nebula and gamora, who were supposed to be his “daughters”. if he would torture his own “children”, why wouldn’t he torture and subject a stranger that he wanted to use to get the tesseract? so loki definitely was tortured.

i know there’s these two interviews, one with tom hiddleston (here) and the other with joss whedon that confirm loki went through a lot of horrible things between the ending of thor 1 and the beginning of avengers. they don’t necessarily give any specifics, just that it was really bad for him. please forgive me as i cannot find the joss whedon one right now, but i believe it was a video. the article with tom hiddleston which i’ve linked, is him saying “I think somewhere between the end of Thor and the beginning of The Avengers, Loki has been to the Marvel equivalent of the 7th circle of hell. At the end of Thor you see him let go. He lets go of the spear, he lets go of Asgard, and he lets go of the need of his brother and father’s affection and approval. He has bigger plans now.” and joss whedon pretty much said the same (in regards to loki going through horrible things between thor and avengers) from what i remember.

(but even with that being said, i’m going to focus more on canon rather than interviews.)

i’m not here to disprove that loki was tortured, i fully believe that he was and it makes sense considering thanos’ character, but i’m here to prove that he wasn’t FULLY brainwashed into doing what he did.

also trust me, i know that most of the movies loki has been in disregard a lot of the shit he’s been through, but i do feel that if he was truly forced into it, it would’ve been elaborated on. which i will elaborate on in this post.

…………………………………………………………………………….

if anyone was brainwashed into committing the acts loki committed in avengers, they would be very distraught and traumatized when they eventually gained full consciousness and realized that they did those things. examples of this in the mcu being clint (who is literally in the same movie), as well as bucky who really was brainwashed by hydra into being an assassin, and is shown as being deeply traumatized when the brainwashing is undone. even if he didn’t commit those acts intentionally, and in his own will.

we can see in the dark world that loki was not really shown to be regretful about what he did. and honestly, i don’t think that was just them choosing not to show loki as being vulnerable, or them disregarding loki’s issues (per usual) because we actually get to see some of his true feelings, as well as him having a breakdown in the movie. he is willingly vulnerable. “now you see me, brother.”

he is shown to be deeply troubled, and vengeful about the possibility of him unintentionally leading algrim/kurse to frigga, the fact he was locked up and unable to be of any sort of help, as well as obviously frigga’s death in general. it was something that was truly done unintentionally by loki.

if loki had really unintentionally, and unconsciously committed the acts he did, he would be shown to be very distraught about it in the dark world, and it would’ve been elaborated on.

the approach the writers, as well as tom hiddleston wanted to take for loki’s character in the dark world was one that showed us as the audience, and as fans of loki more about him, as well as to see him at his most vulnerable, so why would they leave out his supposed trauma from brainwashing? because that’s not really how it happened.

they would have shown him be vulnerable about being brainwashed, and doing something unintentionally if it were something that really happened. since loki’s writing in the dark world was meant to “humanize” him. we’ve seen him at his most villainous in the last movie, so now let’s see him at his lowest in the one after that.

a major point of mine that disproves the theory is that although loki is shown to fear thanos, he’s not necessarily doing this whole thing JUST for him. he is also focused on ruling over earth, rather than just retrieving the tesseract.

if he was brainwashed, however, he would’ve got the tesseract to thanos without anything in return. thanos wouldn’t have had to bargain with loki, or offer earth/an army to him. he would have just mind controlled him with the scepter, the same way loki did with clint, and called it a day.

another point that disproves the theory is that if loki truly was mind controlled by the scepter, he would act almost robotic, and would be quite still, only doing things when told/motioned to the same way clint was when the scepter was first used on him in the beginning of the movie. (i’ve linked this scene further down in this post when i talk about the misconceptions of loki’s eyes being the same blue as the character’s who were mind controlled.) loki clearly says, and does whatever he wants in the movie. this would not really be the case if he were being mind controlled.

(also another example of loki realizing he had partially caused something unintentionally was thor’s banishment. he is shown to be quite nervous about the fact that thor got banished, although it did end up working in his favor later on in the movie.)

loki has shown many times, even before avengers when he is undeniably a villain, that he has no issues with hurting people to get what he wants. people who use the theory and accept it as canon often (i kind of hate this word, so forgive me for the lack of better words) infantilize and mischaracterize loki as being this character who is completely innocent, and helpless. and that he only became “bad” in avengers. meanwhile loki has always (always meaning since after/during the events of thor 1) been shown as a manipulative character with dark thoughts and violent tendencies. in thor 1, he committed genocide against the frost giants BEFORE he was under the influence of thanos or the scepter.

(let me state that i’m not saying loki is a bad person or a psychopath who just goes off hurting people left and right merely for the fun of it. i’ve elaborated on this, as well as loki’s motives in this post. but basically i’m saying that loki does everything he does with reason, and purpose. he is conniving, and calculated with his decisions. he doesn’t get satisfaction in hurting people, he gets satisfaction in getting closer to his goals.)

loki is already a “tragic victim” type character. you don’t need to erase that he’s capable of and willing to do wrong, and imply that those things were very out of character for him to prove that. characters can simultaneously do bad things out of their own will, while having a shitty past. not all victimized characters are completely innocent, and without flaws.

loki is never shown to have any love for midgard, or midgardians in general. he genuinely wanted to rule over them. in thor 1, loki says “i never wanted the throne, i only ever wanted to be your equal.” in thor 1. but in avengers, he says “i’ve grown, odinson, in my exile.” showing that he, and his motives have changed since then. he’s not the same person he was in thor 1, begging for his father’s love and recognition. not wanting a throne isn’t the case for him anymore. if he wasn’t able to prove himself to his own father, then midgardians were the next option.

in the dark world, loki no longer cares for odin’s approval. “he’s not my father!” “i didn’t do it for him.” as well as banishing/exiling him, and taking his throne. his focus shifting from odin’s approval as his own son in thor 1, to the approval of midgard as their king in avengers, to the approval of asgard as their king in the dark world, shows how loki’s character and his motives developed and changed with each movie. he realized that odin will never approve of him as his own son, let alone as king of asgard. thor 1 was just the start.

the reason this is relevant to disproving the theory, as well as the points i’m trying to make are:

1. the motives were already there. the will to do bad things, was already there before thanos and even the scepter’s influence/interference.

2. loki has changed between thor 1 and avengers, and he didn’t need to be brainwashed for this change to happen. he didn’t change and become “evil” because of what thanos put him through.

3. some people who take the theory as canon, believe that loki is fully good and would have never willingly hurt others to get what he wants, or to prove a point. which could not be further from the truth.

i know most of this won’t really make sense to people who already know these things, but my words (and this post in general) are more directed to/are about those who use this theory to try and make loki seem like he’s a character who only started doing bad things, due to being brainwashed. that he’s a character who would never do anything wrong against his own will. meanwhile, he’s exhibited “bad” behaviors willingly since the first movie he was in.

he’s a character with manipulative tendencies, and deep rooted resentment and jealousy towards those put above him. he is insecure, and is willing to do anything to prove himself worthy.

also a lot of the things and points that the people who believe this theory as canon use as proof are things that have been debunked. a point that they often use is that marvel has confirmed that loki was influenced by the scepter. but the only thing they confirm is that it heightened his anger and negative feelings. a big issue is that people hear “influenced” and misunderstand, taking it as a confirmation that loki was mind controlled, and not that the scepter was just amplifying his negative emotions that were already there, and have been since thor 1.

(link to the whole page.)

nowhere does it say that he was brainwashed, or mind controlled. influenced? yes, that’s what the scepter does.

another thing is people talking about his eyes supposedly being the same blue as clint’s, and erik selvig’s when they were under the influence of the scepter. when in reality… their proof of this is just lighting, edited photos, or them mistaking loki’s eyes as being green when they’re actually blue. tom hiddleston has blue eyes, and loki in avengers has the same blue eyes that he did in thor 1, before he even met thanos. his eyes aren’t green, and have never been. (also if loki was MIND CONTROLLED by the scepter, his eyes would be EXTREMELY blue, considering his natural eye color is blue.)

examples:

he has the same beautiful big blue eyes eye color. not the insanely bright blue that clint, or erik selvig had when they were mind controlled by the scepter.

more examples:

guys, if loki was being controlled by the scepter… his eyes would be the same color as theirs since the cgi was purposely used to make their eyes very unrealistically blue so that everyone would know they were being controlled. these two characters both have blue eyes. these pictures show them before being mind controlled/brainwashed, versus afterwards. also… his eyes would be that same blue throughout the movie. which they’re not… clint’s eyes remained that bright blue until the mind controlling was undone by natasha.

it won’t let me add any more pictures so forgive me, but trust me… it’s not the same blue. loki’s eyes do look a little brighter here so maybe i understand the misconception a little bit, but that’s due many factors that can be explained. one being the makeup put on tom hiddleston in this scene to make his skin lighter as well to make him appear exhausted. another factor being the lighting!! as someone with blue eyes, i know that basically anything can make them appear a different shade. but that even goes for other eye colors. that’s just how it works. another thing to mention is that tom hiddleston is naturally blonde and has warmer skin than this. the contrast of the darker hair and the makeup (ESPECIALLY the makeup used to make his under-eye area look dark, which is only used like that in this scene btw) will make his eyes look really bright especially when he already has bright blue eyes. here’s the scene.

another example of his eye color being this post of mine right here. he literally has the same eyes

we can see that the avengers, specifically the hulk, were influenced by the scepter as well. but their eyes weren’t bright blue, because they weren’t being brainwashed by it and instead their negative emotions that were already there were being heightened. this caused cap and tony to argue even more, bruce banner to become angry and emotional about being the hulk, everyone else to become more hostile, etc… these were pre existing issues. loki’s resentment towards thor as well as his need for approval were pre existing.

……………………………………………………………………………

anyway i will probably update this in the future if there’s anything i left out/to correct mistakes.

moral of the story is, loki was canonically tortured, subjected, and manipulated by thanos. but even with that being said, he was not necessarily brainwashed and he was definitely not brainwashed by the scepter. there is no canon proof of that. the scepter only heightened his negative emotions that were already there.

if loki really was brainwashed, don’t you think he would’ve just retrieved the tesseract for thanos without wanting to rule over earth? it would’ve been that simple. but since that isn’t true and loki was consciously and intentionally doing these things, he wanted something in return. neither clint, nor erik selvig wanted anything in return. they did whatever loki needed them to, unconsciously.

people tend to take the proof of his torture, and mistake it as proof of him being brainwashed for some reason. loki is not an innocent character who only started exhibiting “bad” behaviors in avengers. just because he’s done bad things doesn’t mean that you cannot love him, sympathize with him, or see him as the true victim in the story. he is the god of mischief. he is manipulative, and has deep rooted issues that causes him to do bad things in order to prove himself. you don’t need to dumb down his character, and motives in order to like him.

sorry if none of this makes any sense. i’m really bad at explaining my own thoughts and putting them into words, and i’m sure this could’ve been worded better. i just made this to clear things up as well as give my own take on the theory. don’t take it too seriously but also feel more than welcome to correct me on anything, as well as add your own take or anything else onto this.

thank you for reading!!

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boreal-wood · 7 months

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Alright wise guy, what are your thoughts on the theme(s) of the first Mistborn book. This is literally an excuse for you to ramble about it, have fun.

VOID I LOVE YOU SM

So spoilers for Mistborn: The Final Empire! If you haven't read it, please beware because under the cut, Here There Be Spoilers (and also beware, Very Long post under the cut!)

The big running theme in The Final Empire is trust. Who can one really trust? Is it worth it to put your life in the hands of other people? What says they won't betray you as soon as it becomes favorable to do so?

Honestly this really is what Vin's character arc in the first book is about. At the beginning of the book, she's trapped in a low-level street gang where everyone is always out to get everyone else. Heck, the second time the audience ever sees her use her powers is when she is helping her boss betray a business partner.

Vin's brother has beaten into her the idea that she can trust nobody, not even him. Everyone is always out to hurt her or take advantage of her, and if she does not prove her immediate worth to her group, then at best she will be kicked out.

This, of course, is not helped by the fact that she is part of the literal slave class! Which is a whole nother essay tbh.

Then Kelsier takes her in and everything changes. There's a scene early on in the book, after vin formally joins the crew, where Kelsier and his men are all laughing and enjoying themselves while plotting their Big Plan™. And Vin, who does not trust any of them, is on the outside, quite literally. She's outside the room, watching them plan, wishing she could be included but not allowing herself to, because at this point in the book she still thinks they could betray her at any time.

I think now is a really good time to mention that being a Mistborn is built on secrecy and paranoia. Mistborn are literally the nobility's assassins. They hide their identities under hoods that blend into the mist so as not to be seen. So their powers cannot be used against them or their Noble Houses. In broad daylight they have to pretend to be normal people, or at best, regular Mistings. They can't trust anyone with the truth that they are Mistborn.

(Heck, even a quarter of their powerset- Copper and Bronze- create mistrust. With Bronze, after all, one can hear the allomantic pulses of burning another metal. Copper, on the other hand, blocks that; the use cases for these two metals lies in paranoia that someone else can use their Allomantic powers against you.)

Anyways! So we've explored some of the different aspects of mistrust in Mistborn, so what's the counterargument?

In a word: Kelsier.

Kelsier shakes up everything that Vin believes about how relationships work. He introduces his crew as something different- despite being a thieving crew, they operate under a principle of trust and camaraderie. "My crews rely on trust," Kelsier says at one point. In direct contrast to the dirty, paranoid crews Vin worked with before, Kelsier's crew is welcoming, understanding, and trusting of her.

But Kelsier's trust isn't just talk, either. When we learn that the crew believes Mare betrayed them in their last heist, Vin asks Kelsier how he could love Mare even though she betrayed him. Kelsier answers that given the choice between loving Mare and being betrayed or never knowing her, he would choose loving her. "I'd rather trust my men than worry about what will happen if they turn on me."

In the same passage as above, Kelsier poses a question to Vin: where has she been happier? with the old crews that we built on lies and suspicious, or with Kelsier's crew, who trusted each other and let their guards down? It's a rhetorical question, and the meaning is clear: Vin and Kelsier both are happier for risking themselves in order to be loved.

I don't think I've nearly done this topic justice. There are a million more points I could pull out and point to, but I want to end with my favorite quote from The Final Empire. It's from Vin, in Chapter 32. She says:

“Once I may have thought you a fool, but… well, that’s kind of what trust is, isn’t it? A willful self-delusion? You have to shut out that voice that whispers about betrayal, and just hope that your friends aren’t going to hurt you... Distrust is really the same thing, only on the other side. I can see how a person, given the choice of two assumptions, would choose to trust.”

#I have SO MUCH MORE I COULD SAY ABOUT THIS #but this post was too long already #THANK YOU SO MUCH VOID FOR ASKING #i didn't even get to the part about how allomancy itself is also an act of trust #since yknow. you have to have some level of trust to be able to push yourself through the air #and how Vin's first time steelpushing herself in their air is a literal AND metaphorical leap of faith #I have so many thoughts on this book #mistborn #mistborn the final empire #mistborn era 1 #kelsier #vin mistborn #vin #cosmere #brandon sanderson #i love literary analysis #taking the tools they taught on boring books and putting it into the things im passionate about #literary analysis #taiga says things

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echo-lover · 2 months

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!The Bad Batch season 3 spoilers!

I'd like to share with you my feelings and opinion about the new episode of the Bad Batch. Again, I wanted to do this right after watching it but my mind had other plans... emotions I felt overwhelmed me and I needed some time to put myself together. I WAS A CRYING MESS I SWEAR! And I felt a lot.

From the beginning to the very end, this episode has my whole heart. Honestly, this might be my favorite episode of season three so far, even though the previous ones were absolutely wonderful. I love Omega and Crosshair duo so much and seing their bond getting stronger means the world to me. They showed the typical brother - sister dynamic. Crosshair now looks more like himself, just like I remember him from the Clone Wars episodes. Confident about his skills, with sharp tongue and painfully honest. Despite everything he's been through and his apparent trust issues, he allows Omega to lead their small group. Of course, he adds some sarcastic comments of his own, but overall he does not question Omega's ideas and, despite his hesitation, helps her the best he can.

Batcher is so adorable and I love how she tries to get closer to Crosshair even though he is clearly offended and annoyed. This bring smile on my face.

Omega once again shows her more mature side. She's confident and seems to have taken some of Crosshair's sarcasm with her. She wants a peacefull way to left this planet and only when things get really bad, she allow Crosshair to do it -his way-.

Absolute chaos and destruction, it looks like Crosshair wants to enjoy as much freedom as he can. He's free and he won't let him and Omega get captured again. He has nothing to lose and this little girl has become his main priority. He even allows physical contact, which we know he didn't like to share at all. A gentle touch of a hand on her shoulder, ahh I love them. And the way he was called Omega's father and she confirmed it without hesitation. Crossdad is real guys, haha.

But it was the ending that was so shocking to me. The way Crosshair tried to convince Omega that Hunter and Wrecker might not have survived, that so much time had passed... and she don't want to listen. She strongly believes that her brothers will come, that they will take them, save them and they can all be together, she does not accept that they may no longer be alive.

All doubts disappeared the moment I saw Marauder on the screen. Of course, in the back of my mind I had the thought that it might be a trap, but then...

Omega running out of the ship with a wide smile, Wrecker shows up in the open door of the Marauder... OMG I couldn't hold back the tears. I DIDN'T EXPECT THEY REUNION SO QUICKLY. Tears came to my eyes when Wrecker literally ran to her and lifted Omega into air, hugging her tightly close to him. Our little girl could finally allow herself to show her emotions. She had been so strong for so long when she had been on MountTantiss, now she could be a child again, let others take care of her now. She's not alone anymore. Tears flowed, both from Omega and Wrecker, and from me.

I love the fact that Wrecker was the first to welcome her, not Hunter. He was second. Here my tears were flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably.

Hunter wanted to find his little girl for so long... That one word "five" made my heart beat so fast. This is what happened, this is real. They were finally together.

The moment Omega saw Hunter showed all her emotions. Relief, longing, fear and happiness all mixed together. Hunter practically fell on his knees with his arms open for Omega to jump into his embrace. HE FINALLY HUGS HER! The way he held her, the focus on his hands... He finally had his little girl with him, nothing bad could happen to her in his arms. When they broke apart, Omega wiped her tears and Hunter just simply smiled warmly at her. They really looked like father and daughter here, I swear. Words cannot describe how much this means to me. I felt like I was there with them in that moment.

And then the atmosphere thickened as Crosshair appeared, slowly exiting the ship. THE MUSIC HERE WAS ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS! I have mixed feelings about Hunter and Wrecker reaction to their brother's arrival. I understand the lack of trust, but were such hateful and cold looks towards him necessary? Hunter tightened his fists, freezing in place, even Wrecker had a cold look in his eyes.

I feel that in the next episode they will have to explain many things to each other... it won't be pleasant... Maybe there will be harsh words, maybe they will blame each other for Tech's death, maybe they will never fully trust each other again. I just hope that they will be okay after all this. No matter what, they have to stick together...

And I have one little question WHERE THE KRIFF IS ECHO?! It's forth episode and we still don't see him!

Oh Force... it was a huge amount of emotion for such a short moment.

#the bad batch #star wars #the bad batch season three spoilers #clones #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #reunion #tears tears tears #ugly crying #clone wars #never stop loving clones

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dalekofchaos · 2 months

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Context for each choices

Choice 1 context. Basically Owlman, but instead of Bruce dying with Thomas and Martha, this is a Thomas who lived in a boarding school and upon hearing of the death of his parents, Thomas begins to plot his revenge. When he gets his hands on Joe Chill, he realizes there is no point because Chill is a product of his environment. He embraces crime and the insanity of Arkham. He sees his brother as a threat. The way he wastes his family's fortune to fix something that cannot be fixed. So he begins the plan to slowly dismantle everything Bruce has built. Bankrupting Wayne Enterprises, flooding Gotham with a crime wave that the city has never witnessed and when Bruce sees his city in ruins, all his progress and his Batfamily in ruins, then Thomas will kill his brother and take his place as the king of Gotham

Choice 2 Context. Damian is the Arkham Knight. Talia talked about Bruce and Talia’s night in Metropolis. So you could have a tease for Damian there. But Ra’s raised Damian and indoctrinated him. This is a Damian without Bruce’s influence and was raised to believe that Bruce is responsible for his mother’s death and together Ra’s and Damian will fulfill the LOA’s destiny. Everything leading up to learning his identity is the same(though Arkham Knight uses a sword and throwing stars instead of guns) When the mask comes off, Batman is confused due to how much he looks like him. Damian explains that he is the son of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul. Damian blames him for the death of his mother and Ra’s Al Ghul. But if Ra’s is alive via the season of Infamy DLC. Work it into the story. Say Damian is working with Ra’s similar to how Hugo Strange was working with Ra’s. Damian names himself after the place his family died and now he wants his father dead. There’d be more emotional impact and would have made more sense than trying to convince viewers that Jason was Robin in this continuity.

Choice 3 context The Arkham Knight should have just been a symbolic title and ya know, ACTUALLY focus on the villains teaming up. The Gotham Rogues teaming up is the main threat. The reveal of the Arkham Knight being a re-skin of the Red Hood has been talked about to death. What hasn’t been talked about as much is the missed opportunity of having a game where Batman has to deal with the ramifications of the Joker’s death. Arkham Knight opens with Commissioner Gordon talking about how Gotham braced itself for the inevitable power struggle that never came. But what if it had? Instead of pushing some of Batman’s greatest villains into a few side-quests (that all played basically the same), the game’s story could have focused on the Bat Family as it fights to save Gotham. Players could have swapped between the best of Batman’s team as they tackle missions all over Gotham, the Asylum, and Arkham City. Areas visible in the game but not accessible. This would have allowed the story of the Arkham games to come full circle as players would have traveled back to locations previously seen and explored them with the changes made as the story for the games went on. Plus it would finally give all the members of the Bat Family a chance to spread their wings. We needed to see Scarecrow, Harley, Ivy, Penguin, Hush, Riddler and Two-Face work together as major threats and we needed to see Bruce and his family(Dick, Tim, Kate, Cassandra and Stephanie) work together to stop them and honestly that would’ve been so much better.

Choice 4 context.

Arkham Knight is Protocol 12. Hugo Strange works for Ra’s, but however, Let’s pay attention to this. From Quincy Sharp, he says “Strange came to me back at the asylum. He told me he had friends; powerful friends. The sort of people who could make things happen. All I had to do was turn a blind eye to his experiments, and work on my campaign. He said his friends would ensure that I won" In Strange’s confrontation with Batman. “ I have powerful friends, Batman. This is just the beginning.“ Now if you’ve watched Justice League Unlimited, you will know that Hugo Strange is a Departmental head of Project CADMUS. So What if In the Arkhamverse, Strange is still apart of Project CADMUS. While Ra’’s was the mastermind, the Arkham City project was planned by CADMUS as a start to take down Batman and Gotham, but a start to bring down the Justice League. The Arkham Knight would be Strange’s and CADMUS’ last fail safe to bring an end to Batman. The identity is not important. All we need to know is it is a CADMUS experiment and Strange’s last trump card against Batman. The Arkham Knight should have been it’s own character and not a copout to make him Jason Todd and there was so much lost potential.

Choice 5 context.

Jeremiah Arkham is the Arkham Knight. In Arkham Asylum, Quincy Sharp believed himself to be the Spirit of Amadeus Arkham. This could simply be Sharp being the zealous warden that he was but it could have set up something else. What if Jeremiah Arkham was the REAL reincarnation of Amadeus Arkham? He shares a similar story already, treating mentally unwell patients until it drove him insane. Instead of becoming the next Black Mask, he could have become the purifier of evil that Quincy Sharp tried to be: the Arkham Knight.

Choice 6 context

In Arkham City it is heavily teased that Joker and Harley had a baby. Before anyone comments about Harley’s revenge, that was actually unpopular with the fandom, so it could’ve been retconned. From a comment I found on the Arkham reddit. “The game begins the traditional way where you lead a character around but can’t perform any actions. You control Harley who’s in shock after Joker’s death and hasn’t spoken a work since. You control her as she’s being escorted into Blackgate staying true to the prison opening setting of all the games. Joker’s death sends shockwaves across Gotham. Soon enough, her thugs break her out and they arrive at an abandoned warehouse where Harley walks in alone, she opens a shipping container and a kidnapped nurse from Arkham City walks out and pleads with her to let her go, telling her she’s done all they’ve asked. Harley agrees that she has but says that no one can know about their child yet, she shoots the nurse and the shot wakes a baby inside the container, Harley then picks it up and sings it the lullaby we hear in the Arkham City end credits. Cut to black.

But what if it isn't just one kid? What if it's twins? Lucy Quinn and Jack Quinn.

15 years later. Harley Quinn and the Arkham Knight gathers the rogues gallery. Scarecrow, Hush, Poison Ivy, The Riddler, Two-Face and The Penguin all working together to take down the Bat and make Gotham theirs. The difference is the rogues would not be used in side missions exclusively. They would work in the story mandatory similar to how Spider-Man PS4′s villains worked in the main story and we take them down one by one.

Jack will be the Arkham Knight, while Lucy infiltrates Wayne Enterprises as Lucy White and gains the trust of Bruce Wayne and allows herself to be taken hostage because Harley knows Bruce cannot allow an "innocent" be harmed and in the climax, Lucy will show her true colors and knock out Batman. Like in the climax of Arkham Knight, Bruce is taken to Arkham Asylum where this all started. But it's Harley, Jack and Lucy. They reveal the truth. Joker and Harley's children are here to avenge their father. Tim and Cassandra come to the rescue and defeat Jack and Lucy, while Bruce knocks Harley out. Arkham Knight ends with Bruce retiring and becoming Mayor of Gotham, while Tim, Dick and Cassandra would watch over Gotham

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meggletoomanyfandoms · 2 months

Text

Speak of the Devil- Chapter 1

(Not my gif!)

Human!Alastor x Fem!Reader

18+ only!!

Summary- She's a journalist out to catch wind of the notorious 'Night Killer' to get the big break she's dreamed of. Of course, that doesn't go as planned when she realizes it's harder to catch a killer then she once thought but.. Speak of the devil and he will undoubtedly appear.

Word Count- 2,262

TW- Swearing, alcohol, spouse abuse, potential kidnapping?

Author's note- Hi everyone! I am SO excited that the first chapter of my new fanfic is out! I have so many idea's for this one and I honestly cannot wait to see where it goes! I really hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1

It was a rainy night, this one. She was running towards the building with a newspaper covering her head- trying her best to shield herself from it. She’d had enough of everyone; of her husband, of her boss, she was just really in need of a break and knew this was just the place she needed to be. The lights of the building shined brightly and when she walked in, she turned to look at the man at the counter and gave him a small nod to which he acknowledged. She tossed the now soaked newspaper into the trash bin and walked through one of the doors in the back of the building. The door led to a flight of stairs that she walked down, which then led to another door.

Behind that one she could hear the sound of jazz music playing and smiled as she pushed it open and walked to the bar where she sat down.

“Still haven’t gotten any further in your investigation?” the bartender, who she knew as Teddy, asked her as he poured her a drink.

“Do you have to ask?” she said, quickly taking the shot back and enjoying the feeling of the burn in her throat, “Bastard’s trail has run cold. And it’s as though when I think I might be getting even the smallest bit closer- nothing.”

“You know..” Teddy said while pouring her another drink, “Maybe this is something you shouldn’t keep chasing? Seems awfully dangerous for a lady to get involved in something like this.” She rolled her eyes and took back the second shot, shaking her head a bit as the liquid warmed her chest.

“I’m no fucking lady,” she said to him, “It’s bad enough that husband of mine is on my back and my boss-- and now you, Teddy?” The bartender simply smirked down at her.

“You know I believe in you, miss (y/n).. I just don’t want you getting hurt,” Teddy said to her as he poured her another shot. She nodded.

“I’ll be careful,” she said to him, “I just.. Teddy, I need this. This could be my one shot at makin’ it big! Imagine if I caught the notorious night killer? Me? I could leave my bastard of a husband, my bastard of a boss and hell, start my own company or anything!” She took back the third shot and slammed the glass down on the counter, “The point is, I could get the hell outta dodge and not look back!”

“And I know that's what you want more than anything,” Teddy said as the music picked up in the background, “Just don’t get too involved. Remember, you’re only a journalist.”

“That's fuckin’ right! And I’m gonna be the best goddamn journalist there is when I catch that killer,” She said as she got up from the bar. Teddy only sighed as he watched her go to the dance floor and begin to dance.

She let the music guide her- let it twist around her and envelope her. That and the whiskey was her escape from the real world, from her failures. Here she could forget all about her investigation, about her boss that only wanted to see her fail and her husband that had left many holes in the walls of her home. Here she was free, and though she knew she’d regret it when she got home, she decided to make the most of her night and enjoy it.

She finally left the speakeasy a few hours later. She said her goodbye’s to Teddy who offered to take her home but of course she denied him. She made her way out the front door and began to make her way down the street. The rain had finally stopped thankfully, but there was now a slight chill to the air. And she was, most definitely and without a doubt, drunk. Who knows, maybe if she was lucky she’d run into the elusive night killer herself? And if she somehow survived the encounter with him, then she’d be able to write one hell of a report about him. She chuckled to herself, taking a moment to lean against one of the lampposts to steady herself. And that was when she heard it- footsteps coming up behind her.

“Well well,” one of the voices called out with a whistle, “On your way home, missy?” She turned her head to see three men now standing around her and she could immediately tell their intentions were less than good. Shit.

“Back off,” she spat at them, “Or my h-husband will..” The men stepped in further towards her, now enclosing her in the middle of them.

“You should know it’s dangerous for a lady to walk these streets so late at night. Haps’ we should teach the little lady a lesson..” the one speaking reached out and grabbed the top of her arm, pulling her into him. He smelled of cigars and cheap booze and she felt her heart pick up. The world was spinning around her.

“Now now,” a voice from behind them spoke, “It’s quite obvious the lady is not taking kindly to your actions. I suggest you let her go before there’s trouble.” She couldn’t quite recognize the voice-- Teddy, maybe? She could feel her consciousness fading.

“You should mind your own damn business before you get hurt,” the man holding her said, “This has nothin’ to do with you.” The mysterious man before them grinned; it was such a wicked, devilish grin that it immediately put fear in them.

“S-Something’s not right here, boys..” the man tossed her to the ground and she felt a sharp pain on the back of her head as she hit the concrete. She could feel herself fading.

“My dear,” she felt the warmth as someone's arms wrapped around her and lifted her up, “My apologies…” And those are the last words she remembered hearing before she completely blacked out.

_______________________

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open. She was warm and comfy in bed but there was a sharp sting on the back of her head and when she reached up her hand, she felt.. Bandages?

“Ah ah, I wouldn’t do that,” a man that she didn’t recognise said as he walked into the room, “You had quite the gash on your head. I suspect it’ll heal well but it will definitely leave a scar.” She immediately pulled the blankets up over her chest and realized she was in the same clothes she wore last night. Last night? Shit!

“Who the fuck are you?” she spat, “ and where the hell am I? This isn’t my home!” The man gave her a small chuckle.

“Now now,” he said, “My name’s Alastor and it’s quite a pleasure to be meeting you despite these.. Circumstances.”

“Circumstances? You literally fucking kidnapped me!” she screamed at him.

“I saved you,” the man she now knew as Alastor said, “If I wasn’t there, who knows what would have happened-”

“I was fine! I didn’t need to be saved!”

“Oh you most definitely had everything under control, even despite the wound on your head,” he said with a devious grin, “It just so happened I was on my way home when I ran into you on the street.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

“Whatever,” she said as she threw the covers off of herself and stood up. But as soon as she did it was as though all the blood immediately rushed to her head and she stumbled, falling directly into Alastor’s arms as he caught her.

“I need to go to work,” she said, “And my husband. Oh god what am I supposed to tell him-” she regained her balance and stood up straight.

“Would you like my assistance?” Alastor said, “I wouldn’t give it a second thought to-” She was halfway out the door before he could even finish speaking.

“I’m fine.” And those were the last words she spoke before she rushed out the door and onto the streets.

Luckily, she recognized where she was and didn’t give that ‘Alastor’ a chance to follow her. She knew she looked a mess but whatever; her main concern now was getting to work and luckily it wasn’t too far of a walk to get there. She had some assignments due today and if she didn’t get them finished she knew her boss would be on her ass. And aside from that, she also had to come up with an excuse to give to her husband about why she didn’t return home that night. One thing at a time, though..

Upon making it to the building that housed her work, she found it to be in.. Utter chaos, as per usual. Her boss, Michael, was barking orders at the other workers and making demands that she knew were impossible to meet.

“Well, look who finally decided to show up,” he barked, “What, think you had the courtesy of getting a day off?” She shook her head.

“No, sir,” she scrambled, picking up files and making her way to her desk, “Just running late.” He laughed a deep laugh that made her jolt.

“Late? (y/n) the day’s almost over! I should fire you for this!” he said, slamming his hands down her desk and leaning over to speak to her, “You're lucky you have any sort of job to begin with! If not for Frankie-” at the mention of her husband’s name she turned her head and gave Michael a sweet smile, masking the fire that raged inside her.

“My apologies, sir,” she said to him, “I promise this won’t happen again.” He rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” he said as he removed his hands from her desk, “Make sure it doesn’t happen again and get today’s work finished.”

All this so-called ‘work’ he mentioned was simply going through and spell checking the other’s articles and things they had written for the paper so it didn’t take long. She, herself, had never had one of her own articles get published, and that was why she was so hell-bent on getting the word on the notorious serial killer that plagued the streets at night. She was tired of doing the grunt work, tired of being at the bottom of the command chain and was ready, no, more than ready, for something better.

She finished her work for the day and finally was able to make her way back home where she dreaded so badly what awaited her. She knew her husband, Frank, was going to be pissed and that if she were lucky, the walls of her home would be the only thing to get hurt. Besides that, the back of her head from the previous night’s encounter still throbbed, and really she wanted nothing more than to go straight to bed. Soon as she opened the door to her home though, she knew that was the last thing that would be happening.

“Wanna explain to me where you were last night?” Franks voice immediately boomed as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“Frankie my love,” she said to him, “I just got a bit side-tracked with work-” She heard him laugh darkly.

“You think I believe that shit? Micheal fucking called this morning and asked where you were!” he said, now standing directly in front of her with his arms folded over his chest.

“I-It’s true,” she said, “I just left early and I guess I passed out somewhere, I’m so sor-” before she could finish speaking, the sound of glass shattering filled her ears and she saw that one of her vases was now cracked in the floor.

“You were with another man, weren’t you? You cheating bitch!” he screamed and you flinched.

“I’m not a cheater,” she said to him, “In all our years together I’d never-” and with that, a loud smack echoed through the once silent house as she fell to the floor.

“Stop with the back talk,” he said, walking past her and opening up the front door, “And clean this shit up.” Slam.

And so she did. Despite the fact that she could feel her eye swelling and knowing she was going to have to explain her black eye to her boss in the morning, she cleaned up the mess her husband made. She made herself dinner and afterwards she decided, you know what? Fuck this.

She went upstairs and showered, putting on her fanciest dress and headed out. She was exhausted but the last thing she wanted to do was stay in a place like that where she knew her husband could return to at any given moment. So back to the speakeasy she went.

“He got you good this time, didn’t he?” Teddy asked, “First time I've seen you with a black eye in a while.” She rolled her eyes at the bartender.

“Guess it’s my fault for passing out on the street and waking up in a stranger's bed,” she said, lightly sipping on the drink he’d poured for her.

“Passing out?” Teddy asked, wide-eyed, “I knew I should have walked you home last night.” She only shrugged.

“Lucky for me, I was saved by some guy that just happened to be at the right place at the right time,” she said, her attention getting caught by an unknown man sitting next to her. “My my,” the man said, “It seems we’re destined to meet yet again.” She turned her attention back to Teddy and rolled her eyes. “Speak of the devil…”

#alastor x reader #human alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #alastor #human alastor #fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfic

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spitdrunken · 1 year

Note

thank you so much for all the rollo content,, highlight of my days, really.. for yan alphabet L, I, H and X? think X will depend quite a bit on whether reader is a mage or not tbh. rather than a sense of worship he’d feel like he’s saving them lol

notes: yandere

i’m glad you’ve been enjoying it :D!! i really like writing for rollo myself <3 a lot of my headcanons differ from mage vs. magicless reader, so honestly it’s always a bit hard to balance them HAHA i tend to focus mostly on magicless reader since mc is one, and otherwise i’d be writing two sets of headcanons for every post. pls feel free to ask for stuff with mage reader tho :3!!

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Rollo likes to think of a calm and simple future with you. In a world without magic, where no one will be senselessly harmed any longer, and he’s found peace within himself. After he’s fulfilled his ultimate goal, what more could he hope to achieve with his life? The rest of his days, he could devote to you, and never grow bored of it. He doesn’t want extravagance or excitement, just you would be enough. In his fantasies, neither of you ever has to work or leaves to meet with friends. It’s just the two of you.

More specifically, he imagines a small, happy wedding, with one chair left empty for his little brother. He imagines living in a small home in the City of Flowers, or a cottage in walking distance from the city walls; he could never go far from his beloved city. Rollo enjoys the thought of himself baking for you, though whatever he makes will likely pale in comparison to the bakeries he loves so much.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Rollo yearns for quite a while, as he believes his personal feelings shouldn’t take precedence over his goal. None of this is your fault, and he is not upset with you for it. As his plans begin to fall more and more into place, he may be more likely to approach you. Before that, he still watches you whenever he has the chance, and zones out if you’re in his field of vision. He has extensive notes on you, your likes and dislikes, your family tree, and all of your social connections. If he’s particularly smitten, you could find yourself having a ‘secret admirer’, leaving letters in flawless handwriting accompanied by a croissant or some local sweets.

Once he finally makes up his mind to approach you, he can hardly contain himself. His hands are folded behind his back, otherwise you would see how much he’s fidgeting. Rollo’s face is as calm as it would be at any other time. If not for the blush creeping onto his face, you wouldn’t be able to tell anything was amiss.

“May I have a moment of your time?” He would say, lightly bowing his head. Rollo would ask you out on a date, or an ‘outing’ as he calls it, promising to show you all of the beauty the city has to offer, and ensuring you’ll enjoy yourself.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Sweat beads on your forehead, despite your distance from the fire. Rollo is pressed against your back as he leans his full weight against you, his chest stuttering with how fast he’s breathing. He’s clutching the railing so tightly that his knuckles are white. Below you, the world has descended into a hellscape of flames, yelling, and raw desperation. Some of them are your friends, and some of them you might not have known as well, but still- You cannot believe they were deserving of this fate. He presses his face against you. Rollo is shaking all over, and so does his voice.

“As foolish as they are... These villains’ salvation is truly a beautiful sight to behold, isn’t it?”

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

You are different from him. Where he is inherently cursed, burdened by magic, you are pure and clean existence. The sinner, and the saint, extending their hand to him in their endless mercy. Though he wouldn’t go as far as to directly worship you, he very much considers you as more valuable and worthy than himself. Even once he is fully ‘cleansed’, he’d continue to be hard on himself when it comes to you. He takes your opinion of him very, very seriously.

If you were to deny him, you would really be putting him in a tough position. Rollo feels guilty about placing the burden of his feelings on you, but he can’t rid himself of them either. You’ve rooted yourself in his mind, and he cannot get you out. He would try to become friends with you instead, trying to convince himself that it would be enough, all the while lying to himself. Rollo would constantly be teetering on the edge of giving in. There would come a moment he would snap and give into temptation, apologising while he does so and forever cursing himself, but secretly being glad to finally being able to touch you.

#cha.rollo #yandere #rollo flamm x reader #rollo flamme x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #yandere rollo flamm x reader #yandere rollo flamme x reader #yandere twst x reader #yandere twisted wonderland x reader

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andbrokenmemories · 6 months

Text

So it's weird how like. The Kennet girls are good at everything, aren't they? [pale spoilers ahead]

Like that's obvious, it's textual -- it's very textual, other characters being in something like awe over it over and over and over across the story. The girls are very good at this, and they have a deep well of power. This comes up continuously.

what's weird is thaaat a lot of the fanbase seem to like, enjoy that. Enjoy having protagonists who can play around with magic in a way Blake never ever could have. I kind of get that, I won't like shit-talk it too hard. (I do like Verona, y'know?)

But it's an interesting fact. Because Wildbow's the underdog protagonist guy! At least in action scenes, that's his whole thing! Taylor and Blake have to eat shit and die to claw their way to victory, and often those scenes work for me. And it's one of the things I think WB gets the most praise for? Like, from his established base. It's a conscious choice to not do that for Pale. He like, introduced the idea that this kind of wild practitioner would be especially powerful. He made that up for this book.

I wonder what that decision looks like -- after Ward, and Ward's issues, especially, since that seemed to be the first break from this. Underdog protagonists seem to be the default, for him; the thing he has most experience with. I've seen posts from him describing his process -- put characters against the wall without having a pre-planned out for them, so WB himself has to puzzle out exactly what they can use to make it out alive -- and he seemed to derive like... An actual enjoyment, out of it?

Yeah, there are fights in Pale where they're up against the wall... even one where, with Dire Consequences for us all, Wildbow had them lose because he couldn't see a way for them to win!

But it's not the same. I'd honestly say they usually lose because of their like, lack of full maturity -- their child soldier-y emotional rawness and uncertainty -- their lack of cohesion, as the book usually plays it. Lucy cannot stop John from joining the Contest because she can't hold her nerve against him. The girls cannot stop the murder plot from coming to fruition because they lack unity, aren't working together as a team. Emotional stuff. The girls have more tools in their box than any Wildbow protagonist before them, by far, but they can't always use them properly to get the W, for emotional reasons, for character reasons.

In theory, that's an interesting direction (maybe, possibly), and I should be relieved that Wildbow is trying something fresh. In practice... I've said I don't like Pale's fight scenes. I think Wildbow is plainly worse at this than the content of his previous works.

Part of this is seen in the Contest. Or, at least, how Wildbow Posts about it. If you can't tell, a specific WoG lives in my brain: Wildbow said once that he kept the story going past Break because he genuinely did not believe the trio could beat Maricica. I can imagine him doing his typical calculus for this, and what led him to that conclusion, maybe. For example, we've heard a lot about the ability of the Fae to manipulate stuff, aaaand to have the girls come along and undo all of that with minimal information to begin with wouuld sort of. Damage our belief in Faerie significance. Still, though -- cards on the table, here -- I think this was a Dumb and Bad choice. (It's a sidenote to this post, but I think it's very strange that, in-story the straw that breaks the camel's back is shown to be the Alabaster allowing shit to go on rather than throwing in with John, effectively a betrayer revealed moment -- a thing that, even if sorta his intention from the start, he could simply say 'aw beans i never really planned this out far enough' and just drop. for the sake of wrapping up a better story. and naturally i believe this would have been better also because it means we never would have fucking gotten White Woman Animus!! i digress. i digress.)

Maricica had weaknesses the story gave us to nibble on, and those weaknesses... are just kind of dangling threads, now? As of where I hopped off? like, guess she can't be that inexperienced with people if she became a goddess and started a cult and helped with all that red heron shit lol

So it's that thing I said, about fight scenes being more character driven. But then also, he's clearly thinking about this the same way as ever! As shown by his weird logic with framing the story going past Break as a thing he Had To Do, for Logical Reasons, or at least that weighing on the decision. a thing that is silly and i disagree with on it's face. right?

And then this shows in the sheer quantity of fight scenes -- if the girl's main limiter is internal emotional context and stuff........... uh... why are there so many fights? Why wouldnt the story naturally curve towards. having fewer fight scenes when theres no other way to square things away. that progress character arcs. whyyy do i care about fight scene 129 when i know how strong these girls are. whyyy are we fighting so many random others, and dedicating genuinely long segments of story to them, rather than montaging that shit? Getting it over with? If it has to be there at all? (for reference -- I just tried to think of a Random Pale Fight i fully don't think mattered. i selected the random like. angel summoner guy? with the fortnite constructor angel. that's a part of the musser invasion or whatever. this is a character with literally no substance, just a musser-side goon. From him entering the ongoing! fight to Lucy getting out of dodge is 4.6k words. Plague 12.7, the Mannequin fight, up to Mannequin leaving -- that's almost the entire chapter -- is 6.9k words. on the worm wiki, i saw there's a brief 'major events' summary of that chapter. i couldnt tell you the major events of the Pale chapter, of which that section of fight is like a third, maybe. lucy gets a bit more upset. lucy gets in a few quips against musser-side characters that actually matter but actually dont matter much to how that broader conflict is resolved. i guess.)

Wildbow writes any random fight the girls get into as being worth as many words as his fights in the past! the scrappy, pay-offy ones. bleh. My point in all this: you cannot simply set your protags up in the way I'm positing, here, and then continue to use the same vocabulary of every other serial anyway. it straight up doesn't work. it's exhausting. The Future is An Eternal Slaughterhouse 9000 Arc. Look, thats a criticism that boils down to 'web serials are too long'. And I'm not sure I care too much about web serials being too long! I have read longer web serials with longer fight scenes! I have written fiction with a longer average word count per chapter than Wildbow, at least during Worm! its a real criticism, but its not one im amazingly interested in personally. But the Kennet three could've had weaknesses to play around -- or at least, more weaknesses. We are in a Post-Pact world, and in this Post-Pact world, the magic in Pale really barely feels like it, uh, relies on discourse and presentation. like at all. And that seems like an option to give these characters obstacles! An option Wildbow gestures at during the Musser meta-arc!

but what struck me getting that word count comparison earlier, skimming that fight? The girls just aren't operating in that world. There's never a thought for presentation -- maybe sometimes, for a slight edge. But it never really matters, certainly not after the blue heron. They're using glamour as a workhorse tool, covering goblins in it for brief misdirects to get an edge in a fight; they're calling on the same shrine spirits over and over. They don't build up tools over a portion of story then cash them out for a satisfying win, they're just... strong. They have more items in their bags than Wildbow probably knows what to do with. Strong enough for just Lucy to dunk on any random set of practitioners, but not strong enough for the story to just skip that part, and not strong enough to just solve the plot until it's time to go fuck up Charles and end the story.

I know you could argue that I'm making this up, or that it's what some people prefer to what Pact was doing. But I just think it's not even what wildbow is good at! (and i always theorize that when wildbow is writing kind of bad, it's probably because he's not actually engaged or happy with what he's putting himself through. did he read a specific thing that made him personally excited to make the girls so versatile? I don't really know, but I don't get that vibe.)

And I have a couple of specific things I want to point out to try and prove this is like. a thing at all, to wrap up on: First, Glamour is used as this very, uh, soft magic thing, this very basic narrative tool. A pure mechanic of, like, mental states. If you're shaken, if you're uncertain, your glamour gives out on you -- if you shake your opponents, make them skittish, your glamour is better at misdirecting them. This is fiiine? But too vague for what Glamour is. Wildbow simply failed to properly present tradeoffs to one of his character's main action verbs, one that literally had those tradeoffs in Pact. And one last example to try and prove this: they dont even wear the hats and cloaks anymore duuude. Like, in my eyes: there was a very simple to read gambit being made, with the hats and masks and cloaks? You are awakening early, you will always have awoken early: You accepted an early shield against what that meant. A constructed image in place of the image of a fully-fledged adult, masking that youth; Whimsical and inherently magical, inherently wild. It's a very basic tradeoff, and one the story promises you it knows: even if they really would rather not have to go through the whole song and dance of suiting up, if it's tactically suboptimal or else they mature out of it and realise it's not for them, they will never be able to escape it -- not without giving up power. A mark accepted that cannot be given up. A mechanical restriction on their powersets to make up for some of their advantages, that also has some character relevancy. The Good Stuff.

except yeah it can. be taken off. it doesn't super matter. not really. they do plenty of magic without all the stuff on or even any of the stuff on -- it's rarely presented as an obstacle. it doesnt really matter. Because then, you see, they couldnt mature out of it and do cool stuff! it'd be. annoying. frustrating. they'd have to like. deal with changing past the natures they made for themselves. they'd have to. be characters. with character issues. that present themselves in fight scenes. you know?? what are we doing.

#ramble analysis #look. this is long but im not super confident i have the deets to back it up #analysis of my memory of pale ass post #but! the books long. frankly #so this is what you get #pale #wildbow #pale web serial #palecrit

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theroyalthornoliachronicles · 8 months

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Le Cabinet du Roi, Palais de Thornolie: 19 May 1850, 16:30

Le Roi Gaspard: And you have every reason to believe the message was intended for a member of l'insurrection?

Comte de Connier: All signs point in that direction, Monsieur.

Duc de Clèrisseau: How can you be so certain?

Comte de Connier: My man has been following men of interests for years. Per the orders of Monsieur le Roi, of course. A few days ago one such person was spotted carrying a letter, making way toward the docks.

Le Roi Gaspard: Continue.

Comte de Connier: My man continued to follow him, and when he saw him preparing passage onto the ship he attempted to intervene, but the man caught on and took off. I am regretful to say we lost him.

Duc de Clèrisseau: Do we know where the ship was travelling to?

Comte de Connier: Sibna, which is known to be a transfer port for Thalia.

Le Roi Gaspard: Damn.

Duc de Clèrisseau: We must make preparations for your and your family's safety. If this letter is indeed meant for Les Insurgés, then someone has managed to fool us all and betray our loyalties.

Le Roi Gaspard: Henri, s'il vous plaît. We cannot start making contingency plans yet.

Comte de Connier: With all do respect, Monsieur, Henri may be right. It is best we make preparations. We cannot risk another event as dire as the one we left behind.

Duc de Clèrisseau: Think of Aug-

Le Roi Gaspard: There is no need to continue that thought. Not a day goes by where I do not think of him.

Duc de Clèrisseau: [Sighs] You know what this means, do you not? You must speak with your children.

Le Roi Gaspard: Non.

Duc de Clèrisseau: Honestly, Gaspard, we no longer have the time to spare their feelings! We are crossing into trouble waters! You cannot seriously be considering to gamble with your children's future, just as you cannot ask me to do the same, especially if your son's intentions with my daughter are realised!

Le Roi Gaspard: [Deep Sigh] Morel, what do you suggest?

Comte de Connier: I believe it would be wise to cancel all future engagements, Monsieur. It would not be wise to appear at such public events if there are those nearby preparing to strike.

Le Roi Gaspard: Arabella would never allow it.

Duc de Clèrisseau: Gaspard-

Comte de Connier: Then we heighten your security. I can invite Duc de Fleurieux et Marquis de Montavin to discuss the matter further.

Le Roi Gaspard: Très bien. Tell your man to continue his surveillance. Have him watch the docks for his return. If we can apprehend him before he's able to deliver the reply we can hopefully avoid any further distress.

Comte de Connier: Oui, Monsieur.

Duc de Clèrisseau: And Oliver? Adelaide?

Le Roi Gaspard: [Short Silence] We keep this from them...for the time being.

Duc de Clèrisseau: Gaspard-

Le Roi Gaspard: I will tell them, Henri. Adelaide can wait, but I will tell Oliver after the Masquerade. We've made him agree to announce his engagement then, so I do not want to deprive him of joy on such an occassion.

Duc de Clèrisseau: That seems rather uncharacterisc of you, I must say.

Le Roi Gaspard: I'm not as heartless as you all seem to believe, Henri.

Previous | Beginning | Next

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alexandrarosa · 11 months

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First love

First of all I don’t remember the last time I’ve loved something this much. I think it wouldn’t be an exaggeration if I said it was the best thing I’ve ever watched.

I absolutely loved the characters and their development. I loved how the plot was shown in nonlinear time – thanks to which we could really see the whole story from different perspectives.

I loved the ending and even though it was such a happy one, it kind of wrecked me. And I absolutely have to post my whole analysis of the show because ‘First Love’ is the only thing I’ve been able to think about for the past three days.

(spoiler alert!)

Yae Noguchi

The first character we meet seems like the nicest person in the world. Of course we don’t know her tragic backstory then but we can feel there is some mysterious lingering in her preception of the world around her. She’s a single mother, she works hard day and night. We slowly get to know everything about her life and honestly it’s all so sad. I mean her relationship with Harumichi is lovely. I adore how she sees him as the wild one compared to her. She has her dreams and she’s so invested in all the things she does. She’s courageous – she’s the one who confesses her feelings first (and my beloved dumbass Harumichi doesn’t even get it). She is ready to work hard to get what she wants. She got into university and I think she was really happy there. Of course then the worst happens. And I feel like that accident was the beginning of the most miserable period of her life. She’s always been ambitious, she had plans. And all of the sudden she’s reduced to being a stay-at-home mother and a housewife. Her husband, who seemed like a good guy, turns to be, well, an asshole. His mother treats her horribly. They have no respect for her. She’s kind of treated like housekeeper more than a part of the family. So she struggles, but becames herself again – and takes the control back. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, she has to work night and day. But she’s ready to do it. And she loves her son unconditionally, she’s ready to give him everything he needs. And when he needs to have better care – she’s ready to give him up even though it kills her. She gets back on her feet, she moves away from her mother.

I absolutely love Yae. I love how determined she is, I adore that she really tries, even though she has no hope for herself. And I love that she’s ready to do everything she feels she should.

Yae’s dreams

Something that makes me really sad is that she has to wait for so long to actually make her dreams come true. She has always known what she wanted to do in life, but couldn’t accomplish it for twenty years. She feels like a person with no past cannot have a future. And that’s how she sees herself –she lost so many precious things – not only love and memories, but also (or maybe mainly) the abilities to do what she wants. She didn’t graduate. She was a housewife so she had no experience in any kind of work. Yae from before the accident had the whole world standing open before herself. Yae after the accident has limited choices and no hope for a change.

But it’s so sad that she’s losing it all and her mother does nothing. She’s grieving after a perfect daughter she’s lost like she’s the actual victim. Yae’s mother let her own grief and pain hurt her daughter. She was blaming Harumichi for the accident, because he wasn’t able to protect her. And because of that she punished them both. She made Harumichi believe for so many years that he’s the responsible one. She forced him to dissapear from Yae’s life, she would let her know about him. She preferred the surgeon guy because he had more money. She’s hoping she made the right choice - but honestly she didn’t. She shouldn’t have been making the choices at all. They were not hers to made.

What makes me so angry is that Yae never got back to the university. I wonder why her mother never encouraged her. I’m angry that she had to through all that pain just because her mother decided what’s best for her.

But nothing makes me happier than those small parallels. Teenage Yae greeting imaginary passengers on their flight to Reykiavik and adult Yae being a flight attendant in Iceland. Teenage Harumichi saying that he’s going to be a pilot with a beautiful flight attendant as a wife and they ending up flying together at the end. Their dreams really did come true at the end.

Harumichi Namiki

The literal love of my life. I mean this is the guy who becomes your fictional crush and makes every guy in reality look sad. He’s the epiphany of taking control ovet your own life. And an exellent example of ‘you can’t change him but he will change for you if he cares’ and honestly, damn. Their origin story, their meet cute, whatever you want to call it – my dude was swept off his feet. He saw a girl reading a book and he decided to change his entire life for her. It was, as he stated, laughably easy. He went from a textbook badboy to learning nonstop for several weeks because of the chance he saw on the horizon. He would do absolutely everything for her. He became a pilot for her. His whole life was dedicated to her. She was the energy that fueled his life.

And then she got ripped away from his life completly abruptly. And then at the slightest chance of finding her again – he regained all hope.

I love how he always states that he believes in fate but at the same time he knows that he can’t just sit and wait for the good fings to happen. He uses any chance life throws at him. And everything he could control – he did.

Harumichi’s character development

What’s interesting about Harumichi is a long way he came during his life. From a badboy to a wild student to the military cadet and pilot to the security guard. I love how visible it is that his main reason of being is protecting others. From protecting his sister to protecting Yae and his country. But what’s also worth mentioning is his belief in love – or actually – the way he loves. We see him as a teenager, eager to give love, full of energy. Then, as an adult, we see him with Tsunemi – he’s more conscious, more careful. Less involved. I thought it’s just something that comes with age. But then he finds Yae again and all his energy and involvement come back. I feel like for those twenty years he was passive about his life and work and love. I’m sure he cared for Tsunemi but she couldn’t wake that flame inside of him. And then he became active again because he regained the hope for reuniting with Yae again. And I’m not even sure if it had a romantic purpose at the beginning. I don’t think he wanted to break up with Tsunemi just because he saw Yae. But then it turned out that he didn’t have a choice – Tsunemi wasn’t the one. Maybe in a world without Yae she would do, but not in this reality. That’s why I don’t think that Harumichi broke up with her to be with Yae. I think he thought he had to because he couldn’t love her as he should have.

Their love

I love how Yae’s and Harumichi’s relationship is actually so calm and peaceful. They don’t argue. They don’t have that will-they-won’t-they dynamic. They just love each other and it’s completly pure. I also love the scene after the end credits when they are shown together while walking. Notice how Harumichi constantly grabs her hand, touches her, kisses her. Like he’s afraid that if he doesn’t hold her she’ll disappear. And she’s so happy that he’s back in her life. That there is somebody that really actually loves her. Geeez, I’m so happy that they found each other.

The role of fate and the role of timing

Fate is a tricky thing – some people sit and wait for the good things to happen. But it seems like the characters from the ‘First Love’ know it doesn’t work that way. Yes, you can call it fate that Harumichi saw Yae on the train and then again in the exam room. But everything he did later came from him. He took care of everything that was in his control. And when there was nothing more to do, he had to let fate work again – and it did. They went to the same high school. Fate worked again twenty years later sending them both to Sapporo and making them, in a way, cross their paths. And yet again Harumichi didn’t wait for fate to reunite them. He was listening to the taxi announcements for hours for god’s sake! Life (or fate – whatever you want to call it) gave him the chance to rescue her this time and he did, hurting himself in the process.

The fate did it again with Uta finding Harumichi in Iceland, but Yae actively chose to find him. She made her own choice not waiting for a coincidence.

What’s also worth mentioning is that Harumichi actively played the role of ‘fate’ for Tsuzuru and Uta – he made it possible for them to meet.

The worst part of all that is timing. And we know that timing is a bitch.

So many important things happend in the wrong moment. Harumichi coming to Yae only to find out that she’s pregnant. Yae falling in love with him again when he was engaged. Her confessing her feelings after he decided to take a break and go away. Yae regaining her memories only after Harumichi left. Her deciding to take back control of her life and dreams and pandemic streaking.

But at the same time so many good things happened because of the bad timing – for example Harumichi’s leaving let Tsuzuru find the CD player that gave Yae her memories back. If he had never decided to leave she might have not get them back.

For such a long time I was trying to understand why he didn’t want to be with her when she confessed her feelings. But I think I get it now. He would have to live knowing she doesn’t remember a big part of their shared history. And I think it could be heart shattering. He had to actively choose to leave her again despite their shared love for each other because it would be more painful for him to be with her even though it’s the thing he wanted his whole adult life.

And then she regains her memories. And she comes after him. And my little heart is so happy and sad at the same time when I think of all the things they had to live through to find each other again. But at the same time all that happend – good or bad – made it possible.

The normal life shown in the series

I think it’s something worth mentioning. Every person in the show has their own normal life. And I think it’s so important that the role of the characters isn’t reduced to the love story only. We see them working, eating, partying, cooking, studying, even commuting to work. It seems so natural but at the same time I feel like the western fil/show makers sometimes forget that the normal life is also worth exploring and showing. Characters crying and then going to work in the morning like nothing happened. Cooking for loved ones. Sitting with a giant plushie (another reason for my love for that dude). The mention of living in the pandemic! Seeing it from perspective actually made me cry because I got reminded of that period that I actually struggled with. And so did Yae. It’s so precious to me to see characters being normal people.

The music

I feel like the song ‘First Love’ will always make me cry from now on. It always played in such moments in the show that it now gives me the lingering feeling of sadness and happiness at the same time anytime I hear it. And for that I am eternally grateful.

All in all, loved the show. It’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. If it was a book I would literally sleep with it underneath my pillow (like Alexander the Great with his copy of Illiad). I can’t believe I accidentally discovered such a treasure. If you didn’t watch it yet I cannot recomment it enough. If you did – you know what I mean.

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