#i hit post limit the first day i made that blog LMAO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiratheperson · 1 year

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I posted 24,119 times in 2022

That's 21,589 more posts than 2021!

8 posts created (0%)

24,111 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bobo-the-part-time-clown

@elytrians

@edelgard-enjoyer

@fardf150

@ziseviolet

I tagged 2,185 of my posts in 2022

#goncharov - 549 posts

#unreality - 324 posts

#aesthetic - 250 posts

#save - 243 posts

#overgrown aesthetic - 43 posts

#dracula - 41 posts

#dracula daily - 38 posts

#<- prev tags - 18 posts

#this is beautiful - 16 posts

#me - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i could have gotten ‘total loser of a guy who will never amount to anything’ as a result and it would have been less devastating then this

My Top Posts in 2022:

changed my theme >:)

0 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

I think u may be stuck on the dashboard of 4 days ago but u should know that martin scorsese himself reacted to goncharov 😳

Yes I do know!!!! It’s amazing this is peak goncharov

The reason Im reblogging posts from 4 days ago is cuz I hit the post limit in like 4 hours on the first day of goncharov and then I filled up my queue with at least 400 goncharov posts. In addition to the normal posts. So now I have 500 posts in my queue. I regret nothing.

2 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

omg that’s adorable I love it

how has your day been btw?

2 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

hey feel free to answer this privately or just . ignore it + I'm not sure how to phrase this well but ... are u Asian ? (LMAO) I don't see a lot of queer Asian ppl in my specific tumblr circle so I'm always happy and surprised when I see other asian ppl on here . sorry if this is a weird question ✋🥲

Yeah I'm Chinese!!! Dw, I'm cool with this kinda question, you know since it's in good faith and all. And I get it cuz it's always awesome to see other queer Asians :D

2 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello, I'm once again asking you about your OCs because I'm curious! I hope that's okay? Who are Iphi and Jack? I love the first one's name. And if I remember right Jack is aro? That's neat, I haven't really seen a lot of aro characters before! /pos

Thank you for the ask!!! Sorry this is pretty late btw, I haven’t had time to answer it lol

(That’s Iphi on the left, Jack on the right. First is a picrew, second isn’t my art but like. I haven’t drawn Jack yet so that’s kinda their ref for now)

But it is rant time!! Imma start with Iphi! Because I kinda need to explain her to give context for Jack’s lore.

So Iphi is the god of sacrifice in this little fantasy world I made, Kunyang! She’s a pretty old god, a couple of thousand years old, but she’s still the second youngest one lol.

In Kunyang, gods are born when they sprout from the seeds of the god tree. The god tree is in the divine realm, which is a different realm entirely from the physical realm, but very rarely, a god seed can arrive in the physical realm.

Anyways, this seed fell into the hands of a very magically powerful person. They had magic potential that could honestly rival a god- and yeah, they believed they were destined for great things because of it. So, they were determined to be the person who caused the god seed to sprout.

So in Kunyang, there was once this library called the Archives, run by the god of knowledge himself, Ephius. This person went to Ephius, and they were told that the seed was for the god of sacrifice. Ephius told the person that to sprout a god seed, they’d need sacrifices from thousands of people. This person wanted to do it, all by themself.

And so, they sacrificed everything. Family, friends, fortune, and fame. All gone, in the hopes of making a legacy. The seed did not sprout, because it wasn’t enough. So this person decided that they would need to make a very big sacrifice, one big enough to make the seed sprout.

They decided to banish the Archives from the physical realm into the divine realm, sacrificing humanity’s access to the library of all knowledge. And that was indeed a big enough sacrifice to give birth to a new god!

And that’s how Iphi was created. But the thing is- that’s really not how you’re supposed to create a god. So she was kind of corrupted from birth. This corruption prevented her from having a lot of character traits that one might consider important to being human.

Iphi does not feel happiness, or satisfaction. No sorrow or regret. Nothing of that sort. But she is working towards a goal: and that is creating a legacy. Having an effect on the world. (Her only contributor to her creation imprinted heavily on her.)

And because of that, she is very active in all manners of sacrifice. Every day, she’s constantly getting people to make sacrifices to her, amassing followers in many different lands. This also increases her powers heavily.

The way her powers work, they’re kinda like payment based. She gets someone to sacrifice something for her, and she can create something else of equal value to that something. (The more important that something was to the person who sacrificed it, the more she can create and do.) Like, she could make a giant wall of fire, or acid rain, or bury a country in gold if she had enough magic. Which she absolutely does. But she mostly saves the magic potential she receives for later.

And also, Iphi doesn’t truly care about anything other than making a mark on the world. She doesn’t mind if people die or suffer because her sacrifices took something too important- if anything, she wants to do that, because it’s quite a way of making your mark on the world.

Oh, and I gotta add- she can’t do this all without a little help! And that’s where Jack comes in.

They’re also a couple thousand years old, but quite younger than Iphi. So they used to be a court jester. Mortal and everything. They should have had a life of a normal length, be just another person in the world, but then they fell in love with Iphi.

And yeah they’re aromantic! It’s not romantic love, it’s alterous love. But yeah they felt a deep emotional attraction, and they wanted to be in a relationship (not a romantic or platonic one though). Anyways, Iphi doesn’t feel the same way. She doesn’t love Jack. But she thought it was convenient to have someone in love with her, and to keep them around, so she offered Jack a sacrifice.

She’d give them eternity, and they would be her servant.

Jack honestly didn’t want to do that at first, but then they had a near-death experience, and agreed to her terms.

So Iphi took their physical body, and also their independence.

Because it would be inconvenient if her servant got bored or wanted to take back the sacrifice. So Jack quite literally cannot think unless she wills it. They’re barely conscious until Iphi needs them, and only then can they think again.

Jack isn’t even aware this happens. To them, it feels like they just woke up, or they just simply forgot what happened during that time

Iphi also messed with Jack’s mind a bit, to amplify their devotion. And yeah, Jack is completely, utterly devoted to her. They would die for her, they’d be tortured for her, they would kill for her too. Nothing is off the table. They’d do anything she says. And they truly love her.

Jack mostly stays in the divine realm, usually, until Iphi sends them to the physical realm to do something for her. That something is usually extorting people to get more sacrifices. Jack pretty much curses people, and then offers to remove that curse in exchange for a sacrifice. (That’s how Janessa got cursed, actually [have I talked about her?] but Jack forgot they cursed her lmao.)

Anywayssss there is some more lore, but this is pretty fucking long already lmao so Imma just end this here. Unless you’d like to hear more!!

3 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #yeahhhhh my top post was 3 notes lol

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akkivee · 2 years

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i made a cross a line live blog post where i rewatched the live and made a bullet point each time i was dYInG needless to say if i posted that it would probably be almost as long as the classically infamous ‘do you love the colours of the sky’ post lol so i limited myself to ONE (☝️) point about each section:

NAME A MORE HYPE MOMENT WHEN THE CAMERA PANS TO THE CAST AND THE MAD SCRAMBLE TO FIND YOUR FAV AND WHAT THEYRE WEARING WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT EVERYONE THE BAT SEIYUU ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU TAKEUCHI-SAN FOR JOINING IN THE BAT HAIR DYEING TRADITION AND THANK YOU HAYAMA-SAN AND SAKAKIHARA-SAN FOR SLAYING AS ALWAYS

cross a line was really cute 🥺 i appreciate asanuma-san for pointing at iwasaki-san when he got to ‘dialogue’ in his verse and also facing his team during their verses 🥺🥺🥺

LITERALLY HOW DID BB HIT THEIR STRIDE WITH IWBP FROM THE FIRST PERFORMANCE THE HYPEST SHIT BRO IMAGINE THEIR ENERGY IN FRONT OF ACTUAL PEOPLE

BAT COULD LITERALLY MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD AND I WOULD OFFER TO COME BACK TO LIVE JUST SO THEY CAN DESTROY ME AGAIN AND I WOULD THANK THEM THE ENTIRE TIME WHEN SAKAKIHARA SAN SLID HIS HAND UP HIS LEG AND LIFTED IT I DEADASS YEETED MYSELF FROM WHERE I WAS SITTING TO THE FLOOR AND SCREAMED TAKEUCHI SANS ENERGY WAS UNMATCHED AND THAT IM THE GAME RULER IS EVERYTHING I WANTED AND MORE HAYAMA SAN POPPING HIS JACKET OPEN AND SHOWING OFF SOME SKIN DURING THE CLIMAX LINE AND THE WAY HE WHISPER SANG HIS LOSE YOURSELF IN THE BEAT VERSE THANK YOU SIR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASJFGJFDHJDSFHJKLJHGS

FCKING SCARFACE LIKE BRUH if asanuma-san wasn’t trending like he always does whenever we lives happen i will be shocked lol

fp being the champions sure has done a number on the order of things i can’t believe mtr is after mtc lmao but they’re so cute i was literally in tears help and hayami-san was absolutely rocking his heels btw!!!!!

IWSK STARTED HIS VOICE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE STUDIO VERSION AND SET THAT MAGIC FROM THE START ENISHI IS SO GOOD GO TF OFF KURODA SAN!!!!!!!! ALSO!!!!!!! kawanishi-san’s hair and outfit looked so nice!!!!!!!!!! so good!!!!!!!!!!!! marvellous!!!!!!!!!!!! fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHIRAIMU PYONPYON HOP 😭😭 SHIRAIMU AND SOUMA-SAN BOUNCING TOGETHER 😭😭😭 SOUMA-SANS RAMUDA IMPERSONATION IN SONG 😭😭😭😭😭😭 TORIMA IS SO GOOD LIVE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

you can tell the fp seiyuu have a great deal of respect for kreva but the way it was super obvious on nozu 🥺 the fp/kreva was fun and entirely worth the watch with shiraimu SOMEHOW managing to rope kreva and sascha-san into world cup talk during a hypmic live alone LMAO

fp mentioning they were nervous to perform kizuato and the sigh of relief shiraimu did at the end 🥺🥺🥺 also lol at the cg confetti!!!!!!!

UNITED EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT FCKING READY FOR NB RAPPING TO EACH OTHER STANDING BACK TO BACK DID YALL SEE MCD TOO MY ENTIRE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

idk if you could tell lol but i can spend a segment’s worth of time talking about lives so a look back on the lives was very appreciated lol and all of their choices were absolute 😘🤌 shout out to kaigen 7th live day 2, death respect, iwgp, black journey 7th live day 2 and bat’s debut in the 4th live (FOR WHICH THEY HAVE NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT I LITERALLY JUST POP IN THAT DVD JUST TO WATCH IT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE)

if the all cast talk was chaotic then the individual groups were even more so lol and it sounds like to me kuroda-san is making a family and i don’t necessarily mean that in the wholesome way LMAO

THOSE ANNOUNCEMENTS THO????????????? REMASTERED OG DIVISIONS FIRST SOLOS WITH BRAND NEW NAGOSAKA SOLOS?????? NEW NAGOSAKA GROUP SONGS??????? THIS MIGHT BE PLOT STUFF STARTING BACK UP BUT NAGOSAKA ARE ALLOWED TO CATCH UP???????????????????????????????????? AND THE 8TH LIVE??????????????????????????? INDIVIDUAL TEAM LIVES ARE A BRILLIANT IDEA IMAGINE THE ENTIRE BAT DISCOGRAPHY PLAYED LIVE FOR TWO WHOLE HOURS WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

having hoodstar➕ and summit ending the live shows exactly what kind of vibe this live had it was so hype and chill at the same time 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i still can’t tell if kimura touched hayama-san’s back as he was passing him by after the leaders talk but if he did and then a little while after we got asanuma-san lightly slapping iwasaki-san’s ass during summit, i can’t believe i just witnessed nb/mcd ‘dynamic differences’ irl LOL

SERIOUSLY THO CROSS A LINE LIVE SAIKOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

#this is vee speaking #*crying* this post is so nerfed lmao #it’s for the best lol but there’s still so much i wanna gush over 😭😭😭😭😭😭#like!!!!!!!! how hayama-san introduced his team as family (🥺🥺🥺) and sakakihara-san cheered and went ‘onii-chan!!!! 🤗🤗🤗’ (🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)#kijima-san with back to back bangers lol first boldly stating ‘literally how is anyone supposed to beat stella’ LOL #and again seeing himself with black hair since he’s been blond for YEARS and going ‘who the heck is that???’ LMAO #👋 hayama stan here lol did you see him during posse’s drb➕ verse????? the way he was basically 😘✌️ lol #this live hayama-san was both kuukou AND himself it was great 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#i was literally 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 when hayama-san was waving enthusiastically at kuroda-san during his verse in summit PLS HES TOO CUTE #OOOOOOH AND NOBODYKNOWS IS PERFORMING AT BATS 8TH LIVE 14 YRS OLD ME WOULD BE CROWING—#AND!!!!!!!!!!! SINCE CYPRESS UENO IS PERFORMING FOR MTC!!!!!!!!!!#DO YOU THINK 👉👈 WE’LL GET UPTOWN ANTHEM LIVE???????? LIKE???????

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agentemo · 2 years

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re hitting post limit, this was a post limit blog

this wasn't even my main blog 10 years ago

I made this blog 10 years ago to keep hanging out when we got too excited talking about mcr headlining bamboozle 2012

and here i am, url scruffyfrank again and i guess I'll call myself Little Mikey again (or Lil Mikey if that doesn't sound too rapper...I'm not good at saying the word little out loud lmao)

I'm taking an old friend to her first mcr shows and I'm meeting new friends and going across the country and

as i was typing this my grandma sent me a friend request on facebook lmaooo it's a magical day

#guys i love being alive #i got so much to look forward to

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ilajue · 2 years

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having a fan account for media with a younger fanbase is just a game of amongus where you are trying to figure out if any of your mutuals are middle schoolers

aaaa post limit suck my diiick I'm putting everything I want to post on this one el oh el

the first dsmp stream I remember watching was the one where wilbur breaks the vlog gun and I had no context for wtf was happening and wtf mcc is but yeah this is my official date of discovery. I didnt reach the point of no return until after I made this blog in January tho

I didnt even hit post limit on the night of the penis smp bro

milo did tho lmao

almost 100 days of c!beeduo drought I bet you guys didnt know I used to be a boober

I hate not rbing fanart I like it and dont rb it so that I can rb it tommorow but it still feels like a cardinal sin

theres a shiro pfp who is always in my notes you know who you are bro you keep scaring me

the veterans day tag is so funny it's like post about minecraft youtuber dream > post about veterans > post about dreamx3 > post about veterans > hot girl in America bikini > post about how much America sucks balls > mommy blogger > bondage fetish blog > remember our fallen soldiers 😀🇱🇷 god bles America

#... sussy #ila.txt

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yeolmae-s · 3 years

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a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)

CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE

Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!

I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.

On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.

He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.

Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.

This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.

There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me.

1: Chanyeol spots his target.

2: He’s really thinking this through.

3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.

4: Baekhyun laughs.

5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.

6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.

It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)

(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)

Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?

Wolf era

I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.

Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?

Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).

After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes. I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not.

This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.

They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).

Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.

What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:

[130530] EXO at Sukira

Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.

Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"

D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"

Here's a video cut of this part of their interview.

I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.

What happened back then?

There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).

But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.

Wolf era

EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.

I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.

My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.

Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.

During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.

This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.

There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.

On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:

But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.

Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.

And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:

Here and here.

Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.

And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.

I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.

Thank you for reading!

#chanbaek #baekyeol #baekhyun #chanyeol #park chanyeol #byun baekhyun #exo #kpop

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fatoujallovv · 3 years

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hey hi besties 🥺 i recently hit 500 followers and i wanted to take a moment to thank everyone that has hung out with me for the past 10 months. whether you’ve helped me learn to gif, supported my writing, humored me when i do a billion ask games, or just been with me along the way, i’m so so grateful for the amazing family i have here 🥺💛 this lil blog is my safe space and i wanted to let you all know how much you mean to me 💗💗💗💗

i’m doing a few things to celebrate 💛 first is one of those as ranked by my followers things 🤪 i’ll prob leave the form for a couple weeks if u wanna vote :)

vote for ur fav of my top 15 skamverse characters here!

next is gif requests! this is inspired by @fatoudixon’s lil christmas present series bc it was so adorable 🥺

give me a gifset idea that would make you happy, or send me a mutual you love and an idea for a gifset you think would make them happy. you can just give me a character/music video etc, or you can describe color(s) you/they like, a fav character’s trademark lil mannerism, a theme, a quote, parallels, literally anything and i’ll do my best to bring your idea to life!

if you don’t know what to request, a list of skamverse seasons and musicians i'll gif is under the cut! if we have a mutual interest i didn’t list, u can totally go rogue 🤪 if ur requesting a gift ideally i’d be mutuals with them bc i wanna do a Good Job and not seem like a weirdo gifting to people that don’t know me lmao so feel free to read thru things under the cut as I should (hopefully) have tagged all my mutuals unless they've been inactive for 200 days bc I don’t wanna to bother them akjfghjgakj butttt if in doubt feel free to dm me to check!

last i want to send loving brainwaves to the mutuals that have made tumblr such a fun and comforting place for me, so that's under the cut as well :’)

things I'll gif :)

skam: skam france (i haven't watched the new seasons tho eek), druck s3 + new gen my beloved, og s3 and s4, skam nl (i just started the other day so i've only watched isa’s season but by the time i finish these i hope i’ll have watched both ajhfahfj) music: troye sivan, conan gray, hayley kiyoko, dua lipa, dodie, lennon stella, one direction & solo harry, and i like plenty of others just these are the ones i feel like i know and like a significant enough portion of their discography 😌 but i love giffing music stuff so don’t feel limited to the list !!!

alrighttttttttt time to get sappy 🤪✌️

to my mutuals:

whether we frequent each other’s asks or we only ever interact telepathically by liking each other’s posts, thank you. thank you for putting awesome things on my dash, thank you for the amazing things you create, thank you for hyping up my personal posts, for tolerating my very long tags, for sharing all your lovely personalities. a lot of you feel more like pocket family than pocket friends. thank you for allowing me a space to be myself for pretty much the first time ever and being the most amazing and kind and talented friends I could ask for 💛💛💛💛 without further ado, here’s my bizarre way of saying i love you: mutuals superlatives.... kind of.....

mutuals i want to sip tea and watch the sunset on a porch swing with: @wilderness-solace @tawmlinsun @katzen-kinder @evilhersxlf @sanabakkoushd @saltyflowr @awake-dreamer18 @lesbianearn @fireflysxx @katnisseverden

mutuals i want to take me to a museum and tell me about all their favorite pieces of art: @luxandobscurus @nyttvera @smblmn @lepetitepeach @nellsdani @blanxkey @beachbathe @fatoudixon @vexedtonightmares @clairdelalune @demauryss

mutuals i would go on a rollercoaster with if they asked even though i hate rollercoasters with everything i am (i will protect u at all !!!! costs !!!!!!): @kritiquer @vanillalipstick66 @ffriluftslivv @sunflouwermoon @lesbeanadiamcnll @isakeijjser @maxberninis @birthdaysentiment @letisnotonfire @sandersdocs @thenerd10

mutuals i want to adopt me like pls i literally have the paperwork ready: @spiritinanitecap @alwayskissmeatnight @caroldanvr @lallemcnt @buckywilsn

mutuals i want to be my cool older sibling pls and thank u <3: @alexauriant @tsjernobyl @ayarambles @lifeisevak @germericangirl @bethisneckdeep

mutuals i want to take on a petting zoo date SO BADLY: @sonderthroughthestreets @harubirus @lololil @racoons-hedgehogs-and-pixiedust @polarisrodulv @yaraaimsakul @genjasafin

mutuals i want to literally kiss on the lips: @lieverobbe @graceryders @hidden-joy @arzkiya-hai @ijzerengels

mutuals i want to be at the sleepover after i kiss the other mutual on the lips: @alinaoretscv @starryfreckles @fatousjallow @isakeijzer @theflowerisblue @dagcutie @franboos @gucciboner @torisgf @sandersyasmina

mutuals i would call if i needed to dispose of a body: @lucasotteli @noorengels @thegirlyouknow @lolasluquette @womenstan @herlade

mutuals im scared to even call mutuals bc holy shit I am Unworthy: @veerledejaegers @noramachwtz @marjvn @fatoujallow @floraflorenzi

my wedding bc why not it’s my post bride: @hidden-joy ofc <3 wedding party: @luxandobscurus @lucasotteli @sandersyasmina @vexedtonightmares @clairdelalune flower girls: @thenerd10 @arzkiya-hai @ijzerengels @yaraaimsakul ring bearer: @genjasafin officiant: @fireflysxx wedding planner: @katnisseverden

#ellie500 #<< tag to block for gif request stuff #ellie's skamverse top 15 #<< tag to block for the characters as ranked by my followers #ok that's all I talked too much as always no surprises there but I love you allllll 🥺💛#i may be silly and ... schedule this for when europeans r waking up just for fun #so if you see this on ur dash at 3am for me don't be concerned im prob awake but im not actively posting this rn i promise

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cttrajan1206 · 3 years

Note

#arrow sys#Love them#Absolute sweethearts all of em#And suoer fun to sprint with

FIRST OF ALL SOBS /pos

second,,, i know nothing abt twst or obey me but grabby hands at a ramble; i will absolutely listen if you wanted to talk about it :starry:

JSHDJF [WAILS ALOUD] I TOOK SO LONG SO GET BACK TO YOU THAT I FINISHED ONE OF THE WIPS IN THAT TIME LMAO!!

Well!! This is good promo! :> The one that i was typing up is finished now and it's the obey me fic! You can find it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33644662

Mammon and Movies:

Basically! Someone read another fic of mine that included my self insert flappy stimming and also getting mental breakdown so it asked if i could include a couple other stims in another work since he enjoyed my first one! I. Took that request and made an entire fic dedicated to him lmao. So! I asked it later on for what it would like me to include and which character to use and here we are!

This is a 4K fic of Mammon from Obey Me paired with a Neurodivergent!Reader. The plot is that of him showing you a magic trick and smoothly whipping out a movie ticket!! You've been wanting to ask him to see a movie with you for a while so this is perfect! So perfect in fact that you're overwhelmed with happiness and have a brief moment of being nonverbal as you're overwhelmed with euphoria. Then the next day, you meet him at the venue and the date begins! Other scenes include him allowing you to hold onto his bracelets as it's one of your stims (he wears one of every texture to accomodate to your tastes), you dissociating out of anxiety in a movie theatre and him helping to ground you, and finally! Him sleeping on your shoulder before the movie ends.

Ik i kinda just said the majority of the plot lmao but! Its just a fluffy and sweet movie date! I enjoyed writing it a lot although i got about 80% of it done a month ago and tyn didn't touch it for like 2 weeks sjdbsjd i was p sad abt that. I like finishing things quickly esp when its for other people!! But it was a comfort during a hard time to write this work at 2am under the light of a night lamp and to the tune of street life ambience.

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT MAMMONS OFFICIAL SONG "ARE YOU READY" LEGIT HAS NO HOURLONG LOOPS AND THAT WAS A HARD HIT TO ME BC LIKE I WANTED TO LISTEN TO IT ON TV BUT IT WASNT HAPPENINGGG TWT WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OTHER BROTHER'S SONGS INSTEAD LIKE PLSSS

Anyway lmao i'm quite happy with this work, it feels very round and finished to me which makes me happy because it means I didn't need to worry about editing it to feel satisfied. The requester liked it a lot too! Which made me super super happy. :>

Now!! For the twisted wonderland!! That’s a comfort plotline of mine that doesn’t really have a title yet and is still a wip that is written through my friend’s DMs BUT! I will also take the time to promo my twst writing blog! It is dead QvQ On there, you can see a bit more about the self insert in question but for now, i’ll just put the ship name as the title.

https://twst-sumi-squad.tumblr.com/

Kalim Al-Asim X Sumi Bint Khattar (Plot line):

So!! This one stemmed from me drawing something out of self indulgence and to show it to my friend, I described Sumi B in full and then I told them about my ships and around that time I had like five love songs I was obsessed with. And for each of them. I had. A separate animatic. For like at least 1 ship, the average was two but one had three. Sumi B was the centre of the most ships but not the only one. Anyway!! I told my friend about this and asked if I could dump my ideas onto them! They agreed and I started with a summarised version but then realised I needed a bit more build up so I started to write it in a bit more detail. Hah. It ended up being a Lot More Detailed but even then, I would write the scenes in a much more fluid and descriptive way if it were Real Writing so! I call it a Plotline. It is very long.

The plot itself is. long now. it’s a slowburn lmao because most if not all of my self insert ships tend to be slowburns. But this one? This particular self insert? Sumi B? Yeah she’s the only one with trust issues so she mothers the BIGGEST slowburns known to history. It takes them a year before she even considers him a friend despite seeing him every day and also having multiple deep conversations with him. Anyway though, this one is a big comfort becuase it has something I didn’t really dare to do before. Kalim, the canon character, falls in love with my oc first. Normally I have it the other way round becuase I’m too scared to assume that I would be like, deserving or like desirable enough for someone to have a crush on me. But with Sumi B, even I have a goddamn crush on her lmao. I indulge myself a bit with this one and really play around with emotions and!! In the most recent scene! We have finally reached the part where she actually starts to love him back! :D

I started this one a loooong time ago, at least a month and maybe two? It was Intended to be finsiehd in one night and then i got carried away and my friend got invested and then I ALSO got invested and so I started to develop the plot further so make it more interesting and keep the buildup going. It’s very fun and though i try to limit myself to summarising actions and dialogue, i fail. very often. so it often has little tidbits of more beautiful sentences and tension lmao.

This particular fic is based off of my imagined animatic for the song “Would you be so kind” by Dodie! I didn’t know about the song until i saw other people’s animatics and I ended up taking it and running away haha! I’m currently really happy with it however I am really dreading the day where I actually write it out properly. If I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post the plotline by itself. I have another fic just like it, one with a different self insert who (in fact) is very very close with Sumi B and considers her his older sister, that i ALSO wrote in semi detailed plot lines in someone’s DMs. Both are massive comforts to me and though i love them, their plot lines are so goddamn long that i will dread the day i decide to write them all out.

So uhm!!! Yeah!! XDD Those are the two fics I was talking about! I hope you enjoyed my small ramblings about them haha. I’m starting college soon though so I fear I might have much more time for fanfic.

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m-e-w-666 · 2 years

Text

tagged by @tired-dummy thankyou beloved 💜

1. Why did you choose your URL?

i like cats and my birthday is on 6 and i like the number 666 because it’s more 6,,, also i got tired of trying to come up with urls i liked so i settled on this and decided i’d change it later,, grew on me tho

2. Any side blogs?

AHAHAHAHAAAA i counted 85 rn but i only use like 3-4 of them occasionally (2 of them i intend to use regularly)

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

it’s been 6 years now maybe a bit more

4. Do you have a queue tag??

nope i queue a bunch of things at around the same time, my mutuals can never tell if i’m online or not. now i’ve thrown them off their rhythm

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

don’t look at me but i moved to tumblr from my dying homeland of google+,, i needed somewhere just as chaotic. also had a bit of conflict (that is resolved now it’s ok) with friends there and had negative associations with it and this seemed like a fresh start. all other social media’s draining

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i like tma and fma and i wanted to creep people out when the page loads and sometimes the eye looks like it blinks

7. Why did you choose your header?

it related to my icon and it’s creepy and neat

8. What’s your post with most notes?

the harvey post don’t look at me i’m not a simp ok i just appreciate the guy

9. How many mutuals do you have?

how do i tell i would love to know who’s my mutual

10. How many followers do you have?

1340.... idk how i make memes and shitposts and the occasional incoherent post about how much i like a thing

11. How many people do you follow?

4082 but look.. i followed like 3000 when i just joined tumblr ajhddjjd and most of them are either dead, deactivated or one of those “follow to see this one pic everyday” that also die after 10 days of following them,,, and at this point i’m too lazy to go though and unfollow

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

i think i may have

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

when do i not use tumblr?? if i’m not busy with something important then i’m on tumblr hoping i don’t hit the post limit again

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

fortunately i did not. i never had conflict and if i see someone’s blog or views i don’t like then. i use that block button like my life depends on it. don’t like conflict

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

don’t like them. if it’s a good post i’ll still reblog and maybe try to find a version without that comment. but usually don’t like them

16. Do you like tag games?

yesss they’re fun

17. Do you like ask games?

yeeeeee

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

bagginshield and straighttma my beloveds,, i usually don’t remember urls lmao but also so many cool fucking people follow me idk??? all my mutuals are famous in my heart tho <3

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

romantically? no. platonically?? i am smooching some of my frends on they cheeks and giving them soup

tags: @slorpn @theyarnman-trademark @symbolishplant @localswordlesbian @bagginshield @amphitritemists @mousebear4 @spookydisasteronmain @bothrops-atrox

and anyone that wants to do it, i’m tagging everyone that sees this 💜

#as always only do it if you want 💜#tagmew

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thisweekingundamwing · 3 years

Text

This Week in Gundam Wing 6-12 June 2021

Here’s this week’s roundup! June 6th -12th!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works you see or make next week!

~Mod Hel (Sorry this is so late all!)

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@destinysblackrose

Losing my Breath https://destinysblackrose.tumblr.com/post/653297355731435520/fic-losing-my-breath-gundam-wing-heero-x

F/M, Heero Yuy/Relena Darlian

Rated M for mature. Contains smut and angst.

Before his ‘reconnaissance mission’, Heero had been coaxing her, week after week. Waiting for her to become comfortable with this aspect of their relationship. Their last 'exchange’ gave him hope that maybe, they were getting closer.

The patience of a sniper. He used to hate it. Waiting. Watching. Aching. Breathing. Boring.

At least nothing about waiting for Relena was dull.

@lemontrash

Pride Day 5 https://lemontrash.tumblr.com/post/653269838365638656/pride-day-5

5 It Used to be a Different Game - 1x5 SFW - UST.

After a war and a rocky experience with ambivalent heterosexuality, Wufei is not entirely sure what to make of this situation.

@noirangetrois

Gundam Wing Diaries https://noirangetrois.tumblr.com/post/653438898421284864/the-gundam-wing-diaries

May 8, 2000 (Monday)

Episode 46 - “Milliardo’s Decision”

May 9, 2000 (Tuesday)

Episode 47 - “Collision in Space”

Gundam Wing Diaries https://noirangetrois.tumblr.com/post/653714468147265536/the-gundam-wing-diaries

May 10, 2000 (Wednesday)

Episode 48 - “Takeoff into Confusion”

May 11, 2000 (Thursday)

Episode 49 - “The Final Victor”

Of the Sea (Ch. 11) https://noirangetrois.tumblr.com/post/653792472043077632/of-the-sea-chapter-11-archive-of

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, fairytale my way, Meroctopus!Dorothy, Slow Burn, Multi POV, POV Third Person Limited, merman au, MerMay, Fantasy Politics, mentions of abuse, Unnatural November

Heero Yuy will soon be reaching the age of majority, at which time he will ascend the throne of Wingaria. Before such time, he must needs choose a bride. But what if there are no good choices? What if someone else has captured his heart?

simulacraryn

Friday, I’m in Love https://archiveofourown.org/works/31705282/chapters/78469714

F/M, Gen, Zechs Merquise/Lucrezia Noin

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Hangover, Alcohol Mentions, Explicit Language, Established Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, 1995 college au, khushrenada family has more issues than a magazine, background Treize being a gremlin, unbetaed - we die like men here

[College AU, 1995] Zechs is well aware of the upcoming social obligations that come with being friends and sharing a home with a "snob". The issue is when said friendship is actually cramping his own style, then it's time to enlist his girlfriend in order to help the friend find a better coping mechanism for the upcoming activities.

@thaiteaaddict

Reincarnated As A Minor Villiainess and I Survived Past My Death Scene (Ch. 28) https://thaiteaaddict.tumblr.com/post/653740109010747392/i-reincarnated-as-a-minor-villainess-and-i

M/M, F/F, F/M, Heero x Duo, Trowa x Quatre, Wufei x Meilan, Dorothy x Relena

Full cast

Teen, AU - Fantasy, AU - Isekai, POV First Person, Unreliable Narrator

After being killed in a traffic accident, Duo wakes up in a medieval fantasy novel - except he’s woken up as one of the novel’s minor villains who was supposed to have died in a main character’s backstory. Intent on righting the wrongs of his novel counterpart, Duo sets out to change his fate and just maybe improve the relationship between himself and his estranged husband, Duke Heero Yuy. (Duo is isekai’d into the body of a novel’s villainess character and runs with it.)

@zaganthi

Catered https://zaganthi.tumblr.com/post/653846550482665472/catered-zaganthi-caffiends-tzigane-gundam

M/M, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Teen And Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, Blindfolds; Demisexuality; Dinner; First Kiss; Hand Feeding, GW Pride 2k21 – Day 13, Blindfolds; Day 17, foodplay

“I would like you to do a blind taste test.” Quatre sat down across from him on the cushion, smiling that serene little smile that he only used when he was up to something. He’d done stranger things. That smile made him a little paranoid, though. Anyone with the least bit of sense would be paranoid when Quatre looked like that.

“All right.”

“Thank you.” Wufei could see the smile, but he could also hear it in Quatre’s voice as he moved behind him.

Gnossienne https://zaganthi.tumblr.com/post/653752431378890752/gnossienne-zaganthi-caffiends-perryvic

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei

Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Aged-Up Character(s) Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Preventers (Gundam Wing); Team as Family; Domestic Bliss; Friendship; Friendship/Love; talking with exes; Double Penetration; rompy sex; Aftermath of Violence; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Awareness of the trouser legs of time; Talking about Therapy; Dinner Party; Swordfighting; Enthusiastic Consent

It was as if his words constituted permission because Quatre’s smile was blinding then as was his emotional reaction - figuratively and literally because he damn well started glowing as he said in a reverent whisper “Sandrock,…”

His Gundam impossibly powered up there and then right in front of them even as Quatre literally ran towards it. This time around he really got it, he could feel Sandrock as Quatre felt him - and it was a him strangely. Just as he felt that Deathscythe was more than just metal and technology, Sandrock had a presence. How, he didn’t know but it was like seeing him reunite with a beloved family member.

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@alphaikaros

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/653299730884050944/late-mermay-post

Dorothy/Quatre, fanart

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/653860625645256704

Relena/Heero, fanart

@anukisart

https://anukisart.tumblr.com/post/653291417640304640/first-anime-crush-right-here

Heero Yuy, fanart

@babygray-dam

https://babygray-dam.tumblr.com/post/653427876479303680/a-sketch-of-duo-maxwell

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@cloakandfire

https://cloakandfire.tumblr.com/post/653518473738305536/milliardo-peacecraft-lucrezia-neuenheim-noin

Millidardo Peacecraft/Zechs Merquise, fanart

@duointherain

https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/653647734686072832/a-new-duo-render-from-violet-in-tooth-and-claw-i

Duo Maxwell, render

@gundayum

https://gundayum.tumblr.com/post/653389873532796928/im-just-gonna-copypasta-from-ao3-lmao-sorry

Relena & Heero, fanart

@idrawprettyboys

https://idrawprettyboys.tumblr.com/post/653393436572106753/duo-in-a-crop-top

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@twillpoint

https://twillpoint.tumblr.com/post/653752343129636864/until-next-time-afternoon-tea-booth

Duo/Quatre, fanbook

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/653254092113723392/doujinshika-sango-show

Destiny, doujinshi

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/653344695287775232

Duo & Heero Book, doujinshi

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/653707101846306816/cuteciboulette-tsuki-no-kodomo-vol-3-full

Act 3, doujinshi

Head Canons:

@bryony-rebb

https://noirangetrois.tumblr.com/post/653352279647371264/lemontrash-bryony-rebb-bryony-rebb

Trowa & Cathy, headcanon

@lemontrash

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/653552300665782272/duo-kinda-gay-to-make-a-wanted-poster-duo-why-do

Duo & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/653642909168631808/duo-im-hella-fucking-tired-but-i-need-to-go-to

Duo & Quatre

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation 2021

Meet the Mods: https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/636708854145613824/come-on-over-a-meet-your-2021-zine-mod-team-head

Check out the blog for the Zine schedule!

@gundam-wing-pride

Gundam Wing Pride 2k21 https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/648237909672083456/incoming-transmission-faq

A Beautiful Rainbow of Prompts https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/649898271517573120/a-beautiful-rainbow-of-prompts

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, ! [starting back up next week!]

In need of Summer/Fall(Autumn) prompts!

@gwshootingstars

Shooting Stars Online Convention https://gwshootingstars.tumblr.com/post/653339481502564352/hey-everyone-guess-whos-back-with-a-brand-new

This has been tabled for future action.

https://gwshootingstars.tumblr.com/post/653641678082752512/hi-all-thank-you-so-much-for-the-response-and

Latest news.

@oztober-rust

Welcome to Oztober Rust

We’re an up and coming Gundam Wing event with a slight twist! This page is still a work in progress, but you’re welcome to join us over on discord and get a feel for the event.

Have discord, will fan. https://oztober-rust.tumblr.com/post/647568110262566912/i-see-a-nice-and-steady-following-we-do-have-a

@seasons-of-gundamwing

Summer Event Prompts Needed https://seasons-of-gundamwing.tumblr.com/post/652830126852177920/alright-folks

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/644080386309275648/events-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

#Gundam Wing #This Week in Gundam Wing #Weekly Roundup #6-12 June 2021

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mariaiscrafting · 3 years

Note

can i ask why you dislike dream? im not being passive agressive or something lol i am genuinely curious

S’all good, kinda figured you weren’t being, and a lot of people have asked me this lol. There are so many reasons, and I’ve said this so many times already, but I’ll try to go over some of the main things I can remember:

1) Arrogance: kinda put me off how he’s always responded to criticism. Always kinda had an air of superiority about shit, and it never really bothered me on its own because I think lots of CCs are arrogant & I’m arrogant myself, but combined with all of the following, it became a reason for me to dislike him lol

2) Manipulation of his audience: look, I kinda always knew that CCs with huge fanbases, especially CCs who grow this quickly, have some kind of grasp of how to treat and foster their audience to their greatest advantage. I’ve always been wary of CCs that put on soft or nice personalities, especially since the whole Shane Dawson debacle. But with Dream, it’s been a whole other thing ever since his cheating response video, and I’ve never been able to see him in a good light in regard to how he responds to his fans, ever since. I went into it in a lot more detail back when I first watched the video, the day it dropped, but I’m too exhausted to scrounge that post up, so I’ll summarize: that video had a very specific strategy that he used to victimize himself and appeal to his fans’ compassion for him, and after rewatching the video for the third time that day, it felt gross and calculated to me. The way that he focuses very little on the actual mathematical part of his argument. The way he frames the issue of the mods having favoritism or bias. It was already proven on Reddit and throughout Twitter that the numbers the mods looked at were for good reason, and not because they just wanted to pick the numbers that made Dream look the worst, but that’s how he framed the argument. When I logged onto Twitter and Tumblr that day, there were thousands of fans who had latched onto what he said in the latter half of that video and coming to Dream’s defense, and that’s kinda when it hit me: this guy fucking knows what he’s doing, and he’s doing it well, and I really really dislike it. There’s about a hundred other ways he manipulates his audience, including not coming to people’s defenses when huge chunks of his audience attack them (even though the people had respectful and correct criticisms of him), defending stans so adamantly in the face of antis, and posting periodic alt tweets that help garner the illusion that he super cares about his fans; but, that cheating response video was the major red flag, for me.

3) Cheating & lying: as is likely no surprise to y’all, I think Dream cheated lmao. At first, I was ecstatic that he had actually made a detailed response video and put out a report with the help of an actual professional, but as I read up on his supposed statistical argument and dissected the parts of his argument that felt off to me, I realized maybe he had cheated. Talking to some STEM major friends of mine, who weren’t into MCYT but had obviously heard about the whole debacle because they like Twitter and Minecraft, kinda put the nail in the coffin for me. I’m not nearly smart enough or have a good enough memory to detail exactly why I think he cheated on this blog, right now, in April, but essentially: his main argument relied upon claiming mod bias, instead of a sound mathematical or statistical argument; there’s no way of proving that the world files he provided to the mods and in the open source weren’t altered; the statistical problems he points out (i.e., stopping effect) don’t actually skew the original mods’ model nearly as much as his supposed PhD guy would say; and the odds he comes up with might not be nearly as impossible as 1 in 7 trillion, but they still come up to around 1 in 100 million, which is still fucking ridiculous, considering that there are only, like, 120 million people in the world who play Minecraft. Not impossible, but laughable that he expects people to believe that. But... I guess they did, lmao. The thing that peeved me the most about the whole thing was the adamant lying lmao. When you look at the situation from the perspective of “dream cheated,” you realize just how fucked up all his Twitter responses, his adamance in streams and that video, and the general mood among his friends is... idk man, it’s just highly fucked.

4) Relationship with stans: look, there are significant numbers of his fans that take part in Twitter cancelling vendettas, who spread around information about other CCs and their fellow fans that is false and meant to villify them, etc., and he never fucking says anything. It really, really bothers me. There are too many instances to enumerate, but a few that have caught my eye were when Dream stans would attack Techno, prior to their battle and when a Native American woman politely explained why he shouldn’t use Native music, he responded and said he wouldn’t, but tons of stans continued to attack her in her replies for “being so harsh/mean.” Like, he knows that just one word from him will make his fandom follow his beck and call. All it would’ve taken was one fucking word. There are so many fucking people that have been harrassed off of social media platforms because of the hivemind that is dttwt, for christ’s sake.

5) Reddit posts: All of the above were reasons for me to mildly dislike the guy prior to the Reddit posts, but they weren’t really enough to make me stop posting about c!Dream or reblogging fanart or reading DNF fics or watching Manhunts. I kinda just clowned on the guy, answered the occasional ask about the cheating thing or something related, and left it at that. The Reddit posts not only pissed me off for their content, but for the lying, as well. Do you think I fucking cared about him cheating at speedrunning Minecraft, of all games? Fuck no. What I cared about was the adamant lying that went into the whole debacle. Kinda the same with the Reddit posts. I’m one to usually forgive creators who acknowledge past errors, obviously. It is creators who try to brush stuff off, or even worse, create an elaborate lie to cover up allegations, that put me off a fuck ton. This is the reason I could never be comfortable with watching Pewdipie after I realized all the shit he had brushed off, and it’s now the reason I can’t go back to watching Dream. There is so much evidence that points to guilt, including but not limited to: his first move when the slideshow dropped (before posting to Twitter) being deleting as many old Discord messages as he could, the contradiction between him at first denying the account was his at all then changing the story to say he shared it with a friend, the wording and phrasing in the political posts being almost identical to the non-political posts that were clearly him (i.e., the one that explains his demographics perfectly), and the timing of the political posts (some of them being posted mere minutes after posts that were verifiably him, like the picture of Patches to the cats subreddit). People can claim that he’s likely changed, and what this it matter, as long as politics don’t affect his work now, but I can’t believe this fundamental misunderstanding of why bigotry in entertainment matters. I’ve always had a problem with the adoration this fandom has for cishet white men, and the constant criticism of non-cishet, non-white, non-men, but this really feels like the final slap in the fucking face. It’s like everyone truly believes that it doesn’t matter, that his beliefs couldn’t have possibly affected the way he’s treated fellow CCs in his circles or any of the number of people that depend upon Dream, directly and indirectly, for employment/CC clout. It’s like everyone truly believes that political ideology has no effect on the way we perceive, treat, and behave around other people in literally any field, not just politics. I, just... Christ. I don’t really wanna unpack my emotions about this whole thing right now, so I won’t. I’ll just say: I dislike Trump supporters and ex-Trump supporters alike, I dislike conservatives who claim they’re centrists (every fucking guy my age does this, it’s infuriating and makes me want to bash my head into the nearest wall), I dislike people who levy their fans against criticism - even when it’s righteous - and I dislike people who lie about their past actions; Dream fits all those categories, so I dislike him.

#lol would it be okay if this were my last dream crit post? im very tired #i just... diont wanna talk about him anymore lol #dream critical #discourse #/neg #asks #Anonymous

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chazz-anova · 3 years

Text

Tumblr Questions!

tagged by my lovelies @adelaidedrubman @johnsrevelation @rejected-beater and @scungilliwoman thank you dears! 💗💗🌷

1: Why did you choose your url?

it’s the name of an episode of yugioh gx! love my canon url lmao

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

i’ve got two but at the moment they’re kind of inactive, but i’d like to revive them lol the first is @farcry-confessions which is a confessions blog ofc, and the second is @yourfave-smokesweed which is exactly what it sounds like lmfaooo

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

since i was a youngin lol i think i started getting on here when i was 13? 12? something like that. different blogs though. according to that fun postlimit site i started this blog 7 years ago in March of 2014 B)

4: Do you have a queue tag?

no because i like them to blend in with my normal posts. subterfuge

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i have no clue but it was probably just to shitpost about yugioh

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it is some amazing art of my two babies

7: Why did you choose your header?

some more amazing art <3

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

i think it’s either the one about oc playdates or the spirit box porn bots (cant find that one but if someone wants it i will dig lmfao)

9: How many mutuals do you have?

i‘m not sure but i know i have like at least.... 20?? i would say that sounds about right. i dont wanna scroll through my follow list and count lol

10: How many followers do you have?

i just hit 1300+!

11: How many people do you follow?

.....4,997. i never clean out my followers, unless i hit the follow limit (5000) and i have to go through and purge some deactivated blogs. but my attention span is quite short so i can only scroll so far before im just like okay whatever

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

absofruitly

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

pretty often, i’ll at least scroll through on my breaks at work and i try to actively make content a few times a week (brain willing asjhaslfkjsdf)

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

i can’t recall anything like that, i immediately cut off from discourse i won’t entertain it

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i try to avoid those out of spite and if it’s important i’ll go back to a blank reblog and repost that

16: Do you like tag games?

i love them!!!

17: Do you like ask games?

absolutely!!

18: Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have no clue lol

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?

all of them <3

20: Tags

i’ll tag @fadedjacket @chyrstis @dep-yo-tee @spookieloop @desertvvitch @ladypurgatory and anyone else who’d like to do it!

#about me #tag game

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fallingsunflower · 3 years

Text

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

#this is also good visual proof for how many people are on team PR lol

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

Note

Hey Cam! It's the roommate anon from Nat's blog. I was really freaking out for the whole of yesterday for reasons, but I've relaxed a bit now, and I remembered that I didn't answer your question about the songs on my roomie and I's cooking playlist lol

We have a 10 song limit for each artist, so I switch some of the Taylor songs up every so often just because there are so many different songs that I like, but at the moment, the songs on there are:

— State of Grace — I think this is one of the best songs on Red

— Shake It Off — My roomie doesn't like this song lol. I can always tell when she doesn't like a song because she'll grimace when it starts playing lmao. But I love it. I can relate to it a lot

— Cardigan — I can tell that she actually secretly really likes this. She even asked me what it was called

— No Body, No Crime — I think she likes this one too. We make jokes about it

— Dorothea — This is one of my faves from Evermore

— Tell Me Why — I don't think she likes this one, but I love it. I think it's so fun

— Fearless — Just because it's so nostalgic

— Everything Has Changed — This song always kinda makes me think of her. I don't know why

— Red — This song always kinda reminds me of her too. Again, I don't really know why because the lyrics don't even fit her. I think it's more the sound

— All Too Well — I mainly only keep this one on because I can tell she likes it

— This Love — I don't really like this one, but I keep it on because she loves it. I think she finds it calming

— Cowboy Like Me — We both love this one. It's another one of my favorites

— Cornelia Street — I can't tell if she likes this one or not, but I like it. She has mixed reactions to it. Sometimes she listens, and sometimes she talks over it a lot

It turns out that I broke the limit without realizing because when I counted, I realized I actually had 13 songs on there. But I mean, technically I only keep 3 of those songs on there because she likes them, so it's not really cheating imo lol

She drags me for being a Taylor fan sometimes, and she'll make jokes like "I can't believe I live with a Swiftie", but I can tell that she actually really likes some of Taylor's songs. She'll never admit that she likes a song, but I can usually tell by the way she reacts. She'll stay pretty much silent for the entire song and will seem a little distracted from what she's doing, so you can tell she's listening intently. Also, she'll sometimes replay them, and if I ever tease her about it, she just smiles and tell me to shut up lol

I think I can see what most of the Taylor songs that she seems to like have in common. She likes songs like Cowboy Like Me, Lover, Cardigan, This Love, Willow. Like they're all more calm and chilled out sounding songs

There were some songs that I used to have on there that were just making me feel really awkward for some reason, so I took them off

I also had to take off some songs because I realized they were taking her back to a bad place. She had a pretty rough childhood, so it's usually songs that mention childhood or parents or any really difficult emotional situations

Like she HATED Hoax. I think it was too sad for her

I put Never Grow Up and The Best Day on the playlist for Mother's Day last year because I'm an ✨idiot✨ and didn't use my brain first. They both nearly made her cry, even though she doesn't cry easily at all. She skipped both of them halfway through

She also asked me to take Tolerate It off because she was finding it really difficult to listen to. She told me it reminds me too much of her mom

And Look What You Made Me Do actually made her kinda freak out. She was like, "Take this one off please, I don't like this one" in this kinda anxious voice

I do think she likes Clean because she'd always listen to it so intently, but she'd also start looking a bit stressed, so I got rid of that one

I'm trying to be more careful with the songs that I put on now. I double-check the lyrics first

That's the reason why I haven't recommended her any Taylor albums yet. I know some songs might bring back bad memories for her. Instead, I think I might make her a playlist of Taylor songs that I think she'll like instead. I haven't got around to it yet though

But then there are some songs that she just hates lmao

Like she hates ME! She would grimace every time it came on lol, and sometimes she'd put her hand down in her face or pretend to hit herself in the head with the chopping board. Or she'd groan and be like "Put me out of my misery"

She didn't like This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things either

She told me that London Boy was "one of the worst songs she's ever heard", but then she was humming it a lot for the next few days, so 💀

She also told me that she didn't really like 22 and that it was "a little annoying", but then she was humming that later as well

She has strange opinions on some songs though. Like she told me that she hates Welcome to New York because "it's so depressing", but to me, it's a really optimistic and hopeful song about new beginnings

I don't think she knows about Swiftgron. I actually don't know that much about Swiftgron myself because I only ended up on this side of Tumblr recently. It sounds interesting though, but I wouldn't even know where to start with learning more about it. It seems like there's so much content

I remember that I did mention that people think Taylor is closeted to her once in passing. She actually sounded interested. She was like "Is she?" Except I didn't really know much about the reasons why people think that back then, so I think I just said something like, "I don't know, but a lot of people think that", and that was where the conversation ended, and the topic hasn't really come up since

hey babe! so glad you’re here w me!

love these song choices it sounds like you guys have a lot of fun cooking together and it sounds like she totally wants to be a gaylor

here’s the whole story of swiftgron and here’s a more condensed list of proof if you’re interested! if you read my pinned post there’s a lot of resource links in there.

oh and if she doesn’t like London boy but she does like the music of it PLEASE play her cold war by cautious clay it’s the song taylor sampled for London boy and it’s veryyyyy vibey :)

maybe you ought to make her a playlist of songs that help you express how you feel about her like everything has changed (which btw is a swiftgron song!)

come back and chat whenever you like! i love your story.

#roommate anon <3 #if she likes This Love she's gay dude #i don't make the rules #that's a very gay song #Anonymous

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bettsfic · 4 years

Note

do you know anything about like, the development of the purity rhetoric that now seems to be ubiquitous in fandom and how it got there? i used to be on tumblr in like, 2014 and only recently came back to fandom and i remember everyone being generally kind of cool with things like incest ships and morally grey characters (speaking specifically re the frozen fandom and elsa/anna here lmao) whereas now it seems like the conversation about those things has drastically shifted and i am..puzzled by it

this is what i imagine that experience was like for you:

according to fanlore, purity culture started in the homestuck fandom which. based on what i know of homestuck, that tracks. however i’ve never been in homestuck so i’m not sure what that transformation was like. all i know is my personal experience with the disk horse. afaik there’s no cohesive timeline of events across fandom, and i lack the time and resources to be able to make one myself. if anyone knows of one, or wants to make one, please let me know.

i do know that purity culture is a movement started by very young teenagers, who were maybe 13-15 in 2014 and are now 18-20. they were 8-10 when ao3 was founded, and therefore seem to have a limited knowledge of fan history, censorship, and critical thinking. i’m hoping that since they’re now entering college, they’ll get some insight and broader social awareness, and this movement will finally die out in the next few years.

on any other platform, at any other time, their toxic rhetoric would not have gained traction. but here and now, on tunglr dot com where anyone can gain a platform, where mob mentality thrives and inciting an anonymous dogpile is as easy as hitting Post, where the brokenness of this place makes it difficult to control the content you’re exposed to -- it’s the perfect storm. we live in an age of hopelessness. young people grow up with social media as an extension of their identities, tethered to devices that hold all the information in the world. i think it’s fair for them to be afraid of their futures, and i can understand the desire to control the online spaces where they have the most agency, where their voices are the loudest.

that may explain why, but not how. as in, where did they pick up this mentality at all? @freedom-of-fanfic (whose work is a necessity in understanding the disk horse) connected anti-shipping to TERF rhetoric. i’ve linked the fanlore page because it has all of the links and some of the responses. i honestly do believe that the language surrounding purity culture has its ugly roots in TERFdom. at its core, purity culture -- the policing of female and queer sexuality -- is misogyny.

when i started writing destiel circa 2014, fandom was as you described. wincest was a juggernaut on par with destiel. teen wolf was full of underage and noncon. a/b/o was on the rise. it seemed like fandom was a genre without restraint -- anything you wrote, if it found the right audience, would be celebrated unabashedly. people who have been following me for a long time know that i was addicted to adderall at the time and pounding out all sorts of manic nonsense. i remember living on the validation of comments (and at the time, there were lots of comments. not so much anymore, but that’s another story). i got critical comments only rarely, and they were the type that i admired -- readers without judgment thinking through the story, reacting to it earnestly. i made some of my best friends because they left long, critical comments on my work. sometimes they didn’t like it, sometimes they did, but ultimately, they were engaged, and that’s what counted.

i remember my first policing-type comment, i think at the start of all the purity nonsense. it was a destiel fic, and someone very angrily told me i should tag my bottom!cas because it was triggering. i’ve thought about that comment a lot over the years. top/bottom discourse is nothing new, but to say that bottom castiel is triggering? that was ridiculous. but then i realized -- there was a writer in fandom at the time i won’t name, who was known for being extremely sensitive (for bottom!cas especially, which they found triggering), and their very dedicated following offered fic that was safe for their fave to read. i have nothing against this person at all. they were not part of the purity discourse, they were up front about their sensitive nature, and as far as i knew (i believe i met them at a con once?) they were very kind.

but that commenter had been clearly influenced by this person and believed that a specific fictional character receiving anal sex from another specific fictional character was actual, real triggering content, and it was my obligation as a writer to tag for it. which i did, because i felt bad, and i was baffled by that request. at the time, i wanted more than anything to be liked, and conformed wherever i could. if i got such a request now, i would ignore it because it was rudely written and honestly kind of bonkers. i’d happily add a tag for something i may have missed, or even something i’d never considered before, but there’s no reason a person can’t make that request politely.

this situation isn’t about purity discourse proper (the commenter didn’t tell me not to write the fic, and it had nothing to do with morality), but it’s the earliest example i can think of where the process of policing had occurred: a person of influence on tumblr affected their follower’s thinking, and that follower felt entitled to command another writer to conform to that ideology.

i could be completely wrong about making these connections. maybe that commenter truly believed bottom!cas was a legitimate widespread trauma. they did not say the fic was triggering to them, but that it might be to some other people, in the same way purity police say “think of the CHILDREN” when in fact they don’t give a fuck about children at all.

after destiel i moved to stucky, which was, at the time, a juggernaut ship where anyone could write anything. this was also the time when the term “cinnamon roll” became incredibly popular, circa 2015. it was a fun and seemingly innocuous meme, but it positioned the ideas of “purity” and “wholesomeness” in sharp relief, and cemented these ideas by beginning to give it a distinct vocabulary. “trash” was pitched as its opposite. stucky is where i first came into contact with “antis.” in destiel, there had been ship wars, sure, but it was of a different flavor than antis. destiel vs wincest wasn’t about morality in 2014. it was about everything but.

in stucky in 2015, however, the disk horse was running rampant. the MCU had a sub-section of fandom called HTP (hydra trash party) in which steve and/or bucky have dubious or nonconsensual relations with various or many members of hydra. this is the first time i remember being aware of morality becoming a cornerstone of shipping. HTP was loathed by purity police. by the time i wrote a stucky bdsm au, i’d accumulated multiple nasty anons, rude comments from entitled readers, and other nonsense that all said the same thing: your filth is not welcome here in our space of purity. go away.

but the release of the force awakens is what really turned the tide. TFA offered three major ships: stormpilot (as it was called at the time, now finnpoe), reylo, and kylux. the fandom that developed around the sequels was firmly divided. franzeska wrote an amazing meta about this phenomenon which gives some insight into the seeds of purity policing. in short, stormpilot should have been the primary pairing of the sequels, but instead many of the badwrong writers from other fandoms (and HTP specifically, which was how i entered the fandom) flocked to the blank slate of kylux.

it took a long time for the ship to gain traction. a friend told me that kylux had started with angry star wars racists who hated that there was diversity in the sequel trilogy. and i told them no, i was there, there were twelve of us and a cornchip, and all we cared about was the dirty/darkly comedic potential of these two ridiculous villain characters in one of the biggest franchises of all time. it wasn’t that complicated. i don’t mean to dismiss the discussion of race in fandom; i think it’s important to acknowledge that racism, as franzeska describes far better than i can, plays a huge part in fandom, particularly in star wars, and it’s an important and ongoing discussion to be having, especially given what kelly marie tran has gone through, and how it affected (presumably) rose tico’s extremely limited presence in TROS.

the early fics of kylux weren’t particularly taboo. they were post-TFA hurt/comfort mostly, then slowly the bdsm and power dynamics crept in. those of us who wanted to get away from purity discourse had finally found a new home. for a while. 2016 was the golden era of kylux. we were all very happy.

i remember talking to a friend about how there were certain things i couldn’t write in certain ships. being from ye olden days of fandom, she was appalled by this idea, and told me i could write anything for any ship i wanted, wasn’t that was the whole point of transformative works? and i agreed! but i tried to explain, if you post badwrong for a fandom of purity police, you’re going to, at best, get dogpiled in your comments/inbox. at worse they will find you, call your employer, and try to ruin your life. people will tell you to kill yourself. they’ll report your tumblr and try to get your blog shut down. there are real-life, harrowing consequences to writing taboo fic, and many who write fic as a hobby don’t have the emotional energy to field these risks.

around this time, discord became popular, which offered a private space for badwrong writers to congregate. i had started grad school and didn’t have much time to write fic. metoo was happening. tromp got elected. kylux was slowly turning mainstream so a lot of us turned our attention to gradence in fantastic beasts. some went on to hannibal and other fandoms that hadn’t yet caught the attention of purity police (but it was, as it is now, just a matter of time). kylux, i feel, was specifically decimated by a single fan creator, who was like a police chief. they would get wind of someone writing underage or noncon and write a call-out post about them, and that writer/artist would get pitchforked. a few times, my comments or posts got screencapped, and posts were written urging people to stop reading my works because of how heinously immoral i was. this happened to several of my friends too.

the great tumblr tittyban of 2017 happened, which only added fuel to the fire and further legitimized the purity movement. i shifted hesitantly to the 100 fandom, which seemed small in comparison to supernatural, marvel, and star wars. i thought it was a chill place. i was wrong; it was just as toxic as other fandoms. but i also didn’t care anymore, and i appreciated that i was mostly left alone. more importantly, i found a lot of support from other people who were as tired of the purity as i was, and @the100kinkmeme was reborn.

the state of things is pretty abysmal. there are some really amazing writers out there writing under multiple sock accounts, keeping their fandom identities shattered so as not to call attention to themselves. as much as i understand why writers do that, and i respect that decision, i also think it’s sad. it deprives readers the chance to read that author’s other works. it limits the sense of community and our ability to make friends. it fractures the future of the genre.

what’s most important to acknowledge is that none of this is happening solely in fandom. i went to a writers’ conference where 2 of 3 panels were about the history of moral policing and censorship in art. it is worth noting that of the 40-ish visiting writers on faculty, only one (1) was a woman of color (jaimaica kincaid). naturally, older rich white people who have spent their life in the arts are all about death of the author, separation of art and artist. they’re on the total opposite side of purity police, and they won’t acknowledge at all that racism and sexism are a problem in the creative world. they don’t have any nuance on the discussion, or modern perspectives in light of metoo or popular culture.

this went on longer than i anticipated. i neglected to mention YFIP (your fave is problematic) an old blog that started the idea of call-out culture by pulling receipts on celebrities, and how call-out culture led to cancel culture, which also aided in the purity disk horse. i think a lot can be said about how some of this stuff is genuinely good (metoo and holding men accountable for their bullshit) while also being profoundly toxic (punishing criminals via mob mentality, ruining their careers and livelihoods through social media, rather than giving them their due process in court. i understand it -- the judicial system is built by the hands of the very predators we seek to condemn, but still. the jury of the internet is never a fair trial).

if you want to read more, my tag is tsatp (the sacred and the profane). i’m sure i’ve left out a lot, but i can only speak to my experience. i think it would be good if people would share their experience dealing with purity policing, too, so we might get a cohesive timeline in place. feel free to reblog and add your story.

#tsatp #my fic #Anonymous

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an-orca-on · 4 years

Text

So, funny story ... I’m the Indoraptor from Jurassic World.

Or rather, I’m an Indoraptor. And I knew long before I ever saw the movie.

I thought it might be interesting to tell this story, so that folks out there could see there is a range of experiences to fictionkin just like there are in every other type of kinmunity.

First off, a bit of my personal opinions on the spiritual basis of otherkin. For me, being kin is mostly a spiritual thing. There’s the odd case out where it’s a comfort/coping thing, but for the most part the kintypes I have are based in alternate lives of mine and I have discrete and specific memories of them, which is why I feel comfortable calling them kintypes. Not everyone is like this, and that’s fine! You do you. This is just my process. Now mylo, why did you say alternate lives and not past? Because I believe that we are connected to our other selves throughout time and space. Bits of the larger energy we call “me” can distribute through many planes of reality and many spaces in time. So they’re not always this plane of reality, and they’re not always “past”. You can tap into other energies and experience things from that life strongly enough to affect you now.

Okay, enough of that. You said the Indoraptor, right? As in the genetically engineered monster dino from InGen?

Yeah, I did. The story starts way the fuck back in about 2010 or so, way before it ever existed as a piece of media. (It actually goes back even further to when I thought I was dragonkin, but that’s too much to even write about here.) I started having these very specific, strange auric shifts. They were strong enough that it changed the sensory perception of my body, which is not very common for me. I did a lot of meditating on it, trying to piece together these sensations into a coherent shape. The more I let myself sink into the mindset of this mystery creature, the more I started to sense the environment around it and get small glimpses of what life was like for it. This took several months, a ton of talking with friends, journalling, meditating, journeying, etc.

Now, it wasn’t exactly 100% clear. There were something that I just couldn’t rectify with any creature I knew of, and I’ll get to that in a second. What I knew was:

1: Deinonychus shaped body and posture. 2: The muzzle is kinda stubby and rounded at the end and has many teeth. 3: Raptor feet 4: Long hands with three fingers and a thumb, very dexterous 5: Not the best eyesight but great hearing 6: Big tail 7: Quills along the head/neck but not full feathers 8: Some sort of sunlight/gold color dappling

And I had some inklings about its personality, environment, and memories:

1: Violent. Not like a predator, but vicious. 2: Lived in some sort of laboratory. Lots of white and glass. Very few windows, but they looked out on tropical plants. 3: Kinda sickly? It never really felt well, or right. 4: The Goo Tubes. It’s a classic sci-fi trope, you know the ones I mean. 5: Got a lot of attention when it was smaller, but it grew rapidly and people became scared of it quickly. 6: Was intelligent enough to understand more words than they thought it could. It knew a lot of what they were doing to it. Definitely self-aware. 7: Great climber. 8: Did not live as long as it should have, for health reasons.

I had a lot of trouble with the “health reasons.” I could tell that it wasn’t well, and that it struggled with pain and strange sensations in its limbs and potentially experiments and surgeries. Because I’m me and I love robots, somehow my brain translated this as meaning this creature was a cyborg. Yes, I thought I was a cyborg dinosaur for awhile. There’s a reason I didn’t really talk about this kintype, lmao. At the time this made sense from a psychological perspective, because I was going through a lot of shit and “creature that’s been made from a bunch of parts that don’t really fit and suffers for it” was something I could really identify with. I knew it was probably super unlikely, but I didn’t have any other answers at the time.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom came out in 2018. When I saw the indoraptor for the first time, I almost hollered out loud in the theatre. If you don’t know what it looks like, here’s a great render from Arrancon on DeviantArt:

Holy SHIT.

It hits EVERY ONE OF THE EIGHT POINTS on the first list.

And then they talk about it being completely designed in a lab.

As a vicious weapon.

Using sound.

And it knowingly tricks someone into opening its cage.

And it scales a building a roof like nothing.

Oh holy shit that’s me.

This is THE most sudden and visceral Awakening I have ever experienced. I barely remembered the end of the movie after seeing the Indoraptor for the first time, I was just so shocked and emotional. That’s me.

However, there’s one big glaring difference between me-Indo and the movie-Indo. Spoiler alert: movie-Indo gets loose, kills a bunch of people, and dies in spectacularly gory fashion. Even with the limited scope of my memories, I knew this wasn’t what happened to me. What I figured eventually was that there had to be other attempts at the Indoraptor. Other experiments or previous versions that didn’t work out so well and didn’t make it. Maybe not in the movie-universe, but maybe in others.

But way, way before I ever knew about this movie, I had these feelings. Finally having a framework to put them in was awesome and exciting, even if I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with many people, because... well, y’all know what fictionkin culture can be like. However, I think it’s extremely important to realize that there are people who have this experience all the time. It’s not by any means the only way to experience fictionkin, but I think it’s more common than a lot of non-kin realize. Respectability politics are BS. You can be a Serious Therian and also be fictionkin, and both can be fun.

If you made it to the end of this LONG ASS POST, congrats! I don’t usually write posts this long. If you have any questions feel free to send me an ask or @ or whatever. This blog is gonna remain orca stuff, don’t worry about it turning into a Jurassic Park blog. ;p Have a great day!

#otherkin #fictionkin

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