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#i havent written a fic in a while but this wouldnt leave me alone
nymika-arts · 3 years
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hands stained red
4x13 speculation, 1.2k
ao3 link
He couldn’t stop replaying the moment in his head. The gunshot that split the air. The hands on him, shoving him to the ground. The sickening sound that Eddie made as he dropped, bullet in his chest. The way that time slowed down as Buck dragged himself over to his bleeding friend, limbs heavy, feeling as if he was moving through molasses. Ignoring all the shouts telling him to stop, stay behind the truck, stay out of the line of fire. It was too slow. 
And then it was too fast. Blood running freely from the wound, Buck’s hands stained red, not enough to dam the flow. Eddie staring up at him, eyes unfocused, until he blinked them closed. Buck begging him to stay awake, to stay with him please, for just a moment longer. The paramedics finally rushing in, pulling him away, loading Eddie onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. And then he was gone. 
All Buck could do was stare after it. He hardly noticed the paramedic steering him towards the curb, patching up the cut on his head, the scrapes on his arms. 
All he could do was stare at his hands. He hardly noticed the towel that was passed to him to wipe off the blood. Eddie’s blood.
All he could do was sit there, uselessly.
Someone took the towel from him after a few moments. Or maybe it was longer. He wasn’t sure if he’d even used it, but it was covered in red, so he must have. It had taken away the worst of it, but there was blood still caked under his nails, still trapped in the lines on his palms, still burned into his memory. His hands still felt heavy with it. 
Buck drew in a shaky breath and turned his attention to the street. Everything around him seemed muffled, like he was trapped underwater. He couldn't get his head on straight.
He wished none of this had happened. He wished he could go back in time, turn the clocks back to that morning when everything was okay, when Eddie was sitting next to him, sipping on coffee and talking about… god, what had they been talking about? Everything. Nothing. The tv show they were watching, the school project Chris was working on, the last few calls they’d been on. The fact that Eddie had ended things with his girlfriend.
That one stuck out. Eddie had broken up with Ana, and that was something big. Buck couldn't pinpoint why exactly, but he felt like it meant something. It felt like something was about to change. Until– 
The crack of a gunshot. Eddie hitting the ground. The blood pooling beneath him. Buck’s hands stained red.
He couldn’t escape it. He needed to talk to someone, he needed to find out what was happening, find out if there was some way he could help. He needed to move, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up. He needed…
He needed Eddie. 
He needed to see him, to touch him, to know without a doubt that he was still alive. Buck wanted to hear his laugh, to see that fond smile that was somehow reserved only for him. What he wouldn’t give to be sitting on the couch in the Diaz house, eating terrible pizza and watching tv with his favourite people, far away from this mess.
Buck didn’t know what he did to deserve someone like Eddie in his life, but he’d grown used to that warmth and he didn’t want to lose it. He didn’t know what he would do without it.
The thought occurred to him that he’d never told Eddie any of this. Maybe he’d shown it, through all of those grand gestures, and all of those little moments. Through the comfortable smiles and lingering touches, and the way he’d made himself a home inside theirs. But he’d never said any of it out loud.
Buck had never told him what he really meant to him. How incredibly irreplaceable he was. 
And the thought that came louder than the rest: maybe he would never get the chance.
It was stupid, he knew that Eddie was going to pull through, the paramedics had told him as much before they’d taken him away. It didn’t stop that one thought from curling itself around his windpipe and tightening until he couldn’t breathe. Eddie would be okay, but he almost wasn’t. 
A gunshot. Blood seeping through his fingers. Buck’s hands stained red. 
Buck shoved a hand through his hair, closed his eyes, and tried to breathe. But that was somehow worse. Without the distraction of the outside world all he could see was Eddie bleeding on the ground, too far away. All he could see was his hands stained red with his blood. So he looked up again, into the chaos that had unfolded since that first shot, and tried not to throw up.
“Buck!” His head shot up at the sound of his captain’s voice, and suddenly everything started again. The noise, the lights, the movement; it all came rushing in again. It was almost overwhelming. 
He hadn’t realized that his team had been called in, though it wasn’t surprising. Buck didn’t say anything as he watched Bobby approach and stop short in front of him. He looked worried. Or angry. Or tired. Or maybe he looked scared. Maybe he was all of those things at once.
“Buck, are you…” Bobby trailed off, his eyes bouncing from the blood on Buck’s face, to the blood on his shirt, to the blood left on his hands.
“I’m okay,” Buck said, and he wondered if it sounded as hollow as he felt.
“You could have been killed,” Bobby said. There was a hard edge to his tone that made Buck look away. “Look at me.”
“Bobby let’s not do this–”
“No, Buck what the hell were you thinking? Putting yourself right in harm’s way like that when there’s a shooter–” 
“I was thinking,” Buck snapped, “That my best friend was bleeding out in the street and I wasn’t just gonna leave him here to die! That’s what I was thinking!” He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and the image of Eddie hitting the ground played over and over and over again in his mind. 
“The paramedics–” 
“They wouldn’t have gotten there in time. They weren’t allowed, not with a gunman targeting them. You know that.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he looked down at his hands again. 
Buck knew that he was just as much a target as the rest of them, but he didn’t say that. He knew the risks and he made his choice. He wanted Bobby to understand. If he’d waited it would have been too late. And he was about to let Eddie lie there, alone, and hurt; not when he was barely ten feet away. 
“Buck, hey, I’m sorry,” Bobby said, his tone immediately softer. “He’s gonna be okay.” 
Buck just nodded. Gunshot. Eddie falls. Buck’s hands stained red. 
“He’s gonna be okay,” Bobby said more forcefully, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder. 
“I know, I–” Buck pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, fighting against the tears burning under his eyelids, begging for everything to just stop for a moment so he could breathe. He couldn’t help the sob that escaped him. 
Bobby sat down next to him and pulled Buck into his arms as another clawed its way out of his throat, and the tears finally fell.
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mercenarypark · 5 years
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How do you think a crossover between Scooby-Doo and Ghostbusters would go?
EDIT: i typed all this shit out, posted the ask, and it posted without any text. thank CHRIST i saved everything i had written like 5 minutes before but i gotta re-add some edits real quickfunny that u ask since my friends and i have been workshopping that concept for monthsHeres what we have set in stone: first of all, Ray is Fred’s uncle. Theres no way around this one. This is mandatory. We’ve got two excitable and kindhearted idiots, with a love of ghosts and mysteries, who are constantly walking right into danger while having The Time Of Their LIVES, and theyre both voiced by Frank Welker? Not to mention the fact that so many Scooby Doo movies/shows involve various relatives of the Scooby gang suddenly appearing out of nowhere despite never being referenced before, and Fred having a famous uncle isnt even out of the ordinary, what with him being Bobby Flay’s nephew [and, while its only briefly mentioned in one old non-canon video i found, hes apparently a distant cousin of Tom Jones. which is hilarious] Second of all, setting will probably be Miskatonic University, aka the fictional university from Lovecraft mythos. Stay with me here, I know full well Lovecraft is garbage, but both Scooby AND RGB canon have Miskatonic as a real place At some point in RGB, Venkman and Egon go to Miskatonic for information during “The Collect Call of C[a]thulhu”, and the university is referenced again in “The Hole in The Wall Gang”, where Ray talks about his college football team having to fight Miskatonic’s once In Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated, at the very, VERY end of the show, the gang gets scholarships to Miskatonic and drive off on a road trip to there, solving mysteries along the way. They’d have a perfectly valid excuse to already be in that area- and even outside of Mystery Incorporated’s timeline, you could easily make the argument that Miskatonic University and Arkam, Massachusetts would still exist in other Scooby timelines since it exists THERE, and they could still have a reason to be in that area solving mysteries as a resultAs for an actual plot, that’s more debatable. Probably some eldritch god bullshit, probably a lot of “is this a job for US or for YOU?” and trying to sort out if they’re dealing with a guy in a mask or an actual supernatural being. could also lead into the two teams trying to one-up each other in friendly[or not so friendly] competition, with Winston being literally the only one who wouldnt take part in that (see: “Ghostbuster of the Year”, and him also being the only one with the common sense to be like “wait we’re getting into a petty fight with teenagers now? Really??”). aside from that probably mostly a lot of the Ghostbusters bouncing off the Scooby gang. Going off what we’ve discussed:-Ray and Fred’s love for each other as family is compromised by the fact that neither of them will accept the possibility that the other guy’s car is better than theirs. Ecto-1 vs the Mystery Machine. who will win? no one. no one will win this mess-that said Ray and his talent with engineering works well with Fred’s trap building expertise so if whatever monster of the week they wind up dealing with is tangible, they’d make something incredible and way, wayyyy too complicated to catch it-It would take about 10 minutes for Egon to get into a heated debate with Velma over the existence of the supernatural, and they would both at least CONSIDER getting into a literal fistfight over it. Do not leave these two alone together. It won’t be pretty. -And in Mystery Inc, there’s the added bonus of Scooby technically being an alien god; so in that continuity there’s the potential of Egon, who steadfastly doesn’t believe in aliens, being confronted with the gang’s “mascot” who is an alien; and Velma, who steadfastly doesn’t believe in ghosts, being confronted with the Ghostbusters’ “mascot”, who is a ghost. -Slimer, Egon, Shaggy, and Scooby can and will eat the rest of them out of house and home. This is a fact.-Velma and Winston get along for being the bookish ones of their respective teams AND for far and away being two of the smartest, with the most common sense-that said Daphne probably has the most common sense and practical knowledge of the gang, and she and Winston both also share the sad title of “most often sidelined and ignored and not given the fun roles”, though over the years Daph has managed to save herself from this (see: Be Cool Scooby Doo). Also, without them, their respective teams basically fall to pieces. they are the glue keeping these ships running. -though with regards to what roles Daphne DOES get to play most of the time, iirc Venkman is the non-Janine Ghostbuster who’s most likely to get kidnapped, if only one of them is captured and not the whole crew like in “Janine Melnitz, Ghostbuster”. [examples of Venkman getting kidnapped solo include “The Bird of Kildarby” and “A Fright at the Opera”.] What I’m saying is, if anyone’s gonna get kidnapped by the monster of the week, it might well be these two. They can probably break themselves free, though, especially if they work together-Venkman, Shaggy, and Scooby share the common trait of being perfectly willing to ditch everyone else if given the opportunity and go nap and/or eat instead of dealing with whatever the hell is going on THIS time. the difference is that Venkman’s not really a coward, he’s just a lazy asshole-Speaking of things Venkman has in common with the gang, Venkman and Fred share the titles of “least brain cells” AND “biggest egos”. lord save everyone if those two try to put their heads together. anyway thats most of what we’ve got so far[i know, theres an unfortunate lack of Janine]. with all of that combined, you could probably make a pretty good crossover. christ knows ive been chipping away at the idea for a while, though i havent made much headway w/ how busy i am and how distracted i get (see: my 10 other in-progress rgb fics in varying stages of completion, and the fact that i only have 2 that are actually finished and posted)in short, i think the idea is fantastic and its a genuine shame that it doesnt look like the idea has really been considered, even with scooby doo guess who out now. Sure, there’s been more and more crossovers with the comics- the TMNT crossover and the new Transformers crossover- but I’d really want to see this with RGB and not the prime versions and again, it doesn’t look like crossover comics with the RGB characters have been considered. :/
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shizaya
I love when my mutuals indulge me on my Shizaya Thirst. 
• when or if I started shipping it. Ever since I saw them on the opening and I’m not even kidding. I wish I was.
• my thoughts: Literally, almost every problem those two ever had (including some of the emotional ones) would be fixed if they could find something like a peaceful coexistence. A Truly peaceful coexistence. That could be by just being companions, snarky friends or being a couple (this last one, Im just saying, IM JUST SAYING). 
But at the same time, it just… wouldnt be them, if they didnt have passionate  feelings for each other. So much of their characers, of their actions, of their feelings, of their personality, was build because of their meeting, because of their contact with each other. This is why I cant really see them being close friends without, somehow, falling in love. Or becoming destructive/self destructive again.They’re literally incapable of being indifferent to each others very existence. Not, at least, without taking a huge toll of their energy.
• What makes me happy about them: They’re on each other’s mind all the time and thats canon. Izaya costantly mentions Shizuo when talking about his only exception on his sick, twisted love for humanity. Scratch that, Izaya mentions and talks about Shizuo all the time when nobody asks. 
 Shizuo is reminded of his own brother when he sees Izaya’s little sisters. I though that connection was odd to have with someone you hate; to be reminded of the positive bonds in your life, by remembering the ones your enemy has. At some point in the novels, on Shizuo POV, when he’s wondering about his past, in which everyone was afraid of him, he specifically remembers Izaya as the one who didnt. And then Narita immediately goes “but he was a man! no homo”.
Besides that, they complement each other. In personalities, in color palettes (I draw! Leave me alone!), in actions. They polarize each other on a perfect way inside the narrative.
• What makes me sad about them: WAHT DOESNT MAKES ME SAD ABOUT THEM, I SHIP THESE GUYS ENTIRELY TO SUFFER, IT SEEMS. 
They’re both very lonely. And its due to their own unchanging nature. And they have a very difficult relationship with bonds. Y E T they seek for bonds, each one on their own way. Izaya by rejecting them and creating his own rules about his relationship and dynamics with people. Shizuo, by accepting his loneliness while at the same time accepting he yearns for connecting with others.
They’re both very sad, deeply lonely characters and due to that I think they do understand each other on a level no other character is able to. (Shinra sees it, but from a detached point of view.)They seem to deny it and push it, though.
Obvs, at the end of the novels Shizuo gets better (but at what cost?).
They’ll never be completely happy or free until their conflict reaches an satisfiable end and I do hate the fact Narita pulled away from that at the last fucking second, after an entire, intense and ultimately useless build up.• things done in art/fic that annoys me:
- When they’re already on a stablished relationship but Shizuo is constantly brute and hurtful. So unnecessary. Especially when, on the plot, is constantly uncalled for, when Izaya has barely done anything to be an acceptable target.There’s a difference between this and being snarky, and I cant see Shizuo not being devoted and compromised with a person he’s in a relationship with. Also, because its usually justified that, despite how brute, uncaring and hurtful he acts, “Izaya knows Shizuo loves him”, which is just…. Yeeeaaah, guys, being treated like shit by somebody you do know loves you, doesnt necessarily makes things better.  The same thing for Izaya taunting Shizuo or provoking him on a distressful manner.
((Its not like I dont want conflict in their relationship, but if I start to wonder wtf those people are even doing together, then you’re not handling writing them on a “relationship”. Relationships are supposed to have nice moments once in a while.))
- When people go ~~dark and gritty~~ and cant decide if they love or hate each other, and then tropes like rape and abandonment and emotional abuse are evoked. Dont do that shit if you dont know what you’re going to do with those plot elements.
- People are usually way too afraid of going far with Izaya’s character (which is such a waste, he’s the character to go far with.), afraid of making him OOC and getting him wrong (which I kind of get it). And then they go T o o F a r with Shizuo’s one instead, making him IDK kill people, be angry with everyone 100% all the fucking time, eat 92059482 cakes, act stupid and unthoughtful, and generally being dumb or selfish, which is just… Ok, but what happened with the Silent Shizuo, who honeslty ponders over things while walking the street, and is kind with people he cares about??
 • things I look for in art/fic: Well written Smut To Be completely honest.   Its been months I havent read fics of those two but I used to read all the time. . But  I was usually up to any kind of trope as long as the author made it work.
Oh! Things around their relationship with their siblings or Raijin schoolmates. It honestly surprises me the lack of it.
• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  I’m not a multishipper with Shizaya, man. Its all or nothing. Cant see them fitting well (and being honestly happy and peaceful and at ease) with anyone else.
• My happily ever after for them: So many. One in which they slowly learn how to trust each other and how to lean on each other (after, I assume, a lot of heartbreak). One in which, by loving each other and accepting each othe’s love, they learn how to love themselves, for who they happen to be. And then, they get a puppy. 
• what is their favorite non-sexual activity? Play videogames. Imagine those two playing Mario Kart, how fucking competitive wouldnt it be??   They usually end up yelling at each other, at the end. But the fun, overexcited, kind of yelling. 
Also talk, just … talking. Izaya loves to babble on, about philosophy and whatnot, but Izaya also talks about the russian literature he’s read, his favorite authors, his favorite theories, the random trivia knowledge he posses for which he has no use for (”did you know Shizu-chan, that [random useless fact about caterpillars]” “…. …. ..hmm, caterpillars are cute” “are they?? no, theyre not.” “yes, they are.”.).  Shizuo just listens. He likes listening him. Shizuo would also confide him things. Slowly and in parts. Like his feelings of loneliness, his feelings of guilt, his complicated emotions towards his brother, towards his failures, his fights, his violence. Things that make him feel awful but dont anymore. Izaya wouldnt judge, he’s done and thought worse. Izaya would know better how to put into words, talk with Shizuo about myths of monsters, of heroes. Of psychology theories. Fill the silence after every confession, knowing hes doing so and why hes doing so until he gets a laugh out of Shizuo, or leaves him at ease.
Also, maybe watching cartoon when Akane and the Twins come to visit. Izaya overanalyses them or falls asleep, no middle term. Shizuo just enjoy them and makes tea for Akane.
Eat out at the Russia Sushi. Meet up with their siblings for awkward karaoke nights (Kasuka’s idea.). 
Shizuo cooks for Izaya. Shizuo moves in cuz Izaya’s place is nicer. Izaya remodels his kitchen solely for him and Shizuo to cook more confortably. 
Shizuo makes breakfast while Izaya is asleep. He hums or sings while making tasks. Izaya loves hearing his voice from the other room. He could always tease Shizuo about it but he doesnt because he doesnt want Shizuo to stop doing it.
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