#i haven't watched this show in years but the emotion just hit me

[starrystormwritings]

Something's Off

Something's Off

Master List <3 Request List <3 Criminal Minds Master List

Spencer Reid x Reader

A/n: Hey so I haven't written anything in over a year and this is my first criminal minds thing ever so any criticism is welcomed. This was written at 3am so any bad grammar or writing can be excused in my opinion lol. Please consider sending me some requests or ideas for anything on my request list, I'm desperate to get back to being active on here but I'm running low on ideas.

Summary: You and Spencer work at the BAU and after a lapse in Spencer's judgment you end up getting hurt.

Warnings: Murder, guns, shooting, stabbing, blood, hospitals, possible death, general criminal minds talk to gruesome murders

Word Count: 2669

(NOT MY GIF)

"There she is, we were starting to think you'd quit on us." Derek joked as me and Spencer walked into the briefing room hand in hand.

After a particularly long and emotional case I had decided to take some time to myself to recover from it.

It had only been a week but in this job that felt like years.

"Yep here I am, no need to worry. I know how much you all missed me." I said with a laugh while sitting down at the round table, Spencer going to grab our coffees.

"Can't argue with that, lover boy over there has been lost without you." Emily said with a laugh smiling at me.

Everyone else had taken their seats as Spencer sat next to me, sliding my coffee in front of me with an excited smile.

"Well as much as I wouldn't use the word lost I have missed having you around here." He blushed lightly, trying to speak in the least awkward manner as he could.

I knew he had missed me at work, everyday he came home to our apartment he'd be glued to my side explaining every detail of the case he'd just gotten back from, wanting to hear my opinions and spend time with me.

As much as hearing about work took away the point of taking time off from it watching Spencer ramble on passionately and excitedly to me was nice.

Plus if I'm being honest with myself I'd be bored without it.

"Six women have been found dead in a suburban town in Texas, all between the ages of twenty to thirty and have appeared within forty-eight hours of each other." Hotch explained whilst Penelope showed the pictures of the crime scenes behind him.

"All girls were found within sixteen hours of being deceased and had already been missing for more than a day, meaning he keeps them before murdering them. He has stabbed them all once in the abdomen, careful not to hit any vital organs so the body doesn't shut down. Instead he stabs them to leave them to slowly bleed out." Penelope added whilst handing folders of information out to everyone.

"So it's likely he already has another girl with him now?" Rossi asked with a frown as he flicked his folder open.

"More than likely yes, and with and increasing confidence and skill set we can only assume he's going to continue at a quicker or more brutal pace the longer he's able to." Spencer added, looking to the group with a smile that matched nothing that he just said.

I sighed and looked at the images in front of me, at least this case seemed fairly simple in comparison to some of what we've had to face.

~~~

"This guy is most likely a social younger man who holds enough respect and familiarity within the area for people to feel comfortable enough to get into his vehicle alone at night. He doesn't force his victims to comply they willingly trust him until it's too late due to his natural charm and charisma. Then he holds them for a day before killing and disposing of them. He doesn't hurt them in their time of captivity, meaning he most likely feels remorse or is unsure of his actions, but the thrill of the kill is to enticing for him to let them go. He's confident within his ability to kill, shown in the slow and precise manner he takes in the murder. He is most likely a local who has lived here his whole life due to his knowledge of the area and the trust everyone has toward him. He also appears confident in his ability to not be caught, since he dumps the bodies rather than hiding them. He believes he's more intelligent than most people and above the law, and his high IQ helps fuel this narcissistic ideal he has of himself. That is all thank you." Hotch walks away from the room of police officers who were noting down his profile, gesturing to Emily, Rossi and Derek to follow him into an interrogation room.

I jumped up from the table I was sat on and gathered my notes from next to me.

"I just don't understand how we could have such a sick individual in our community doing this to women. It's just shocking to me." Officer Davis said from beside me.

He was the head officer on the case and the chief of police in this town, he'd been assisting me and Spencer in the last few hours with trying to create an idea of where to begin looking.

"Yeah it always comes as a shock when a member of your community causes something like this." I offered him a small smile whilst gathering my stuff to head over to Spencer, Officer Davis following closely behind me.

"I just can't believe something like this could happen here."

"Can you think of any groups of people within the community that hold a lot of respect and trust? Like public speakers, church groups, large charity groups or public helpers?" I asked him flicking to the page of possible careers I had, smiling at Spencer as I settled my stuff next to him.

"Well apart from the obvious like the police and fire force, I couldn't think of anything. We're quite a religious area but none of our churches have any well known priests that everyone would know, we have too many churches and priests for people to form personal connections with. Although we do have a large neighbourhood watch group. They do nightly patrols in cars around the streets and main roads. They're a very large group of people."

Spencer's head shot up at the last bit. "Do they have a known leader people would know? Or any type of uniform they wear to be recognisable?" He asked Davis while scribbling something on his whiteboard.

"Not uniforms no. Although, the patrol cars they use do have these stick on lights they use to be recognisable. Pauls the leader, he tells people when their needed for patrol."

"So our unsub could be a patrol member, approaching women in his car so they know he's apart of the watch group and trust him enough to get into the car without any hesitation!" Spencer said turning to Davis "I need a list of names of the leaders of the group."

I opened my phone, calling Penelope "I'll get a list of the people on patrol the nights that these girls were taken, see if there's anyone that was working every night."

~~~

Less than a day, that's all we had to find this woman before it was too late.

I was stood in an office with Spencer and Rossi, bouncing ideas off of each other, hoping something stuck.

"Penelope got him." Derek said with a smile walking into the room.

"Paul Fredrick, thirty-five years old, lived here his whole life, was arrested ten years ago for an assault against an twenty-one year old woman, and in charge of the neighbourhood watch patrol schedule." Spencer read from the paper Derek just handed him.

"Hotch, Emily and that detective are already heading there. We need to go this girl probably hasn't got that long left." Derek said gesturing us out of the door quickly.

~~~

"He's confessed." Spencer said with a smile, kissing me on the head as he took a seat next to me.

I'd been sat in this empty office in the police station for an hour now, something just doesn't feel right.

"Really? Doesn't that seem strange to you? I mean according to the profile this guy is confident and intelligent. Surly he wouldn't confess after an hour of interrogation." I bit my lip lightly as I re-read my notes again and again.

"Well sometimes the profile isn't completely correct. Plus they found the girl in an abandoned warehouse a ten minute drive away from his house." Spencer shrugged "he isn't as confident as the profile indicates, he was also quite anxious and stressed when confronted which was surprising, but the evidence points to him and he's confessed. All of the logic adds up."

"I guess. I just don't feel right." I sigh and look up to him with a frown.

He matches my expression and stands up, kissing my forehead lightly before collecting his stuff. "You probably just need some rest it's been a long weekend. The plane leaves in an hour, I'll go collect our stuff for us."

He gave me one more smile before leaving the room. As I glanced after him I saw the rest of the station basically empty and the time was three in the morning.

With another sigh I gathered my stuff and headed out the door. Maybe ten minutes outside in the fresh air would chill me out.

"Everything alright?" A voice from behind me asked, making me jump.

"Davis hi you scared me." I said with a laugh, holding the door for him as we both walked outside. "Everything's okay yeah I'm just rethinking the case."

"What's bothering you about it?" He asked, lighting himself a cigarette.

"I don't know, the whole thing just seems off, I mean why would Fredrick confess so quickly? He doesn't match the profile at all, he's awkward and of a lower intelligence. I just don't see how he could do this alone. Plus why would he take these woman to an abandoned warehouse that could be accessed to the public or the police whenever rather than his own house? He lived alone in an remote area with no neighbours. It just doesn't add up." I shrugged and pulled my arms closer to me since the cold was nipping at my arms.

All of a sudden I felt a blunt pain hit the side of my head.

~~~

(Spencers pov)

"Everything alright kid?" Derek asks me with a concerned look.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Y/n." I reply, fidgeting with my fingers as I talk "She's been questioning the case and I'm starting to think she might've been onto something."

"What do you mean?"

"Well didn't Fredrick seem odd to you? He had a low IQ and no charisma at all, even if you knew of him I doubt many people would willingly get into his car. Plus he transported the girls for no reason, he put himself at risk by doing it in that warehouse rather than his own home. There's no way he could've done this alone."

"What are you getting at here kid?"

"Well didn't he come across to you as more of a submissive personality?"

"You think we have two unsubs here? A team?"

I shook my head quickly calling Y/n as I spoke. 

"No not a specifically a team. A dominant who lured the girls and killed them, and a submissive who picked the girls out, disposed of the bodies and took the fall. It would make sense, Fredrick was to easy to find, this unsub would be to intelligent to be this simple. Fredrick was on patrol the nights the girls were taken, he most likely saw them first and then alerted the other unsub of them so he could then take them."

"Well if this unsub was so intelligent how come it was so easy to find his partner?"

The phone rang out, that's strange Y/n always picks up.

"He wanted us to. He pointed us in that direction to throw us off, he didn't need Fredrick and he knew he would stay loyal if he was caught. He wanted us to catch Fredrick so we'd leave."

Derek's eyes went wide as he got his phone out of his phone to call someone.

"You know who told us about the neighbourhood watch and the list of likely suspects?"

Derek asked with a frown.

"Davis."

~~~

"Has anyone seen Y/n?" I asked as I walked into the room that the rest of the team were in.

They all looked at me with worried expressions as Emily handed me my bulletproof vest.

"According to the CCTV she was last seen leaving the station with Officer Davis" Hotch said clearing his throat, trying to remain stern and collected even though he was as distraught as the rest of the team.

"What?" my face fell as I scanned the room, everyone either looking away from me or straight at me with concern. 

Derek's phone beeped and everyone's heads snapped up to look at him as he stood. "Pen's got an address, lets go."

~~~

"FBI!" Derek yelled as he kicked down the door, letting himself into the house as I followed behind, gun trained ahead of me.

"What am I looking for here Reid?" he asked, clearing the first room.

"A basement most likely." I said walking ahead, spotting a door that appeared to be heading downstairs.

I nodded my head toward it and Derek went ahead, opening it slowly and walking down.

I followed close behind him, a loud smash was heard from in front of us and before I could even see Derek shot, leaving Davis on the floor.

"He tried to run, threw something glass at me." Derek said, gesturing to the blood from the new cut on his arm.

"Can you see her anywhere?" I pushed in front of him as he flicked on the light switch.

I scanned the room before my eyes landed on her figure in the corner, laying on the floor looking pale and bleeding from somewhere. "Y/N!" I ran over there, putting my gun away as Derek called for a medic through the radio.

"Hey your going to be okay. I'm so sorry, I should've listened I'm so sorry. Y/n please. Come on open your eyes. Please..." I felt Derek's hand on my shoulder as I started to cry.

Before I could comprehend what was happening a group of medics came in and surrounded her, Derek pulling me out of the room.

~~~

I paced the hospital waiting room floor, it had been hours and we'd heard nothing.

Emily was asleep on two chairs. Hotch was sat looking at the floor, tapping his foot anxiously. Rossi had been standing up to speak to the receptionist every ten minuets, and Derek had be constantly picking up calls from Penelope who had kept ringing for updates despite Derek promising to call her as soon as we knew.

And I had basically paced a hole through the floor.

"Reid sit down and eat something. Stop punishing yourself." Hotch said with a frown.

I shook my head and continued pacing. "I can't, I should've listened to her, or stayed with her. I didn't even try first aid I just froze when I saw her..." I replied, voice cracking.

A doctor cleared his throat behind us "Y/n L/n?"

We all looked up at him with matching worried expressions.

I held my breath as we waited for him to say something.

"She was stabbed in the abdomen but luckily suffered no trauma to any organs. She's lost a lot of blood but she's going to be okay. She's just woken up so she's a bit out of it but she can take one visitor."

I felt my whole body relax as I took a breath.

"She's okay?" I asked again with a shaky breath.

Derek put his hand on my shoulder and nodded with a smile "She's going to be okay kid."

I let out a little sob and nodded my head with a small smile.

"Reid you should go see her, let her know we're all here." Hotch said patting my other shoulder.

I nodded at both of them and followed after the doctor, taking a seat next to her bed, holding her hand in mine as carefully as I could.

She opened her eyes, slowly turning her head to look at me.

Somehow she was still smiling as bright as ever, provoking my face to mirror hers on instinct.

"Hey you." she said with a small laugh.

"Hi." I kissed her knuckles, a few tears escaping my eyes as I looked at her.

"Why're you crying? I'm the one who's be stabbed dumbass." she joked with a small laugh, causing me to chuckle.

"I love you so much, don't you ever do this again. I really thought I'd lost you. I don't know what I would've done."

"I'll try my best to stay alive then, just for you Spence."

She smiled sweetly at me with another small laugh, I admired her face for a second before leaning in to kiss her lips softly.

#fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer read x y/n #spencer reid x you #x reader #mathew gray gubler

[b0xerdancer-writes]

The Moon Only Glows When Kissed By The Sun

Helion x Inner Circle!Reader

Summary: The younger sister of Rhysand, sick from her birth finally gets her chance to work as a courtier for her older brother. On her first mission she meets Helion, the lord of the day court, the two hitting it off and becoming attached at the hip. But maybe there's another reason the two are pulled towards each other.

Warnings: Sick! Reader, Near Death experiences, foul language, illusions to and possible future smut, not proofread we die like men.

Word Count:4,907

Notes: First fanfiction here we go, time to get back into the swing of things. hope everyone enjoys!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the solstice when they met, the small frail sheltered sister of Rhysand and the High lord of the Day Court.

 The war had been over for nearly six months now and it was the first large celebration that had been held since. Emissaries, Courtiers, Representatives of all varieties were here at a party in Summer Court on Tarquin’s pleasure yacht. When Helion had spotted the smaller unfamiliar member of the inner circle talking to Rhysand. If you asked him, Helion wouldn’t know what compelled him to go over and speak to the two, maybe it was just curiosity, maybe it was something else that ached and throbbed deep in his chest. 

As Helion approached he caught Rhysand’s attention first who greeted him quickly, he watched as Rhys placed a firm hand on the smaller female’s shoulder a sign that seemed to cause the smaller one to relax. Helion held a wine goblet in one hand and extended his free hand out to the small female.

 “Helion, High Lord of the Day Court,” Once the quite smaller hand was placed in his he brought it to his lips placing a kiss to the knuckles there. “It's a pleasure to meet you my dear.” He looked up at the now flustered female through his lashes. 

The smaller fae cleared her throat before introducing herself, trying to push away any embarrassment or fluster that would come out in her voice, Helion was an attractive male and he knew it, oozed it. “It's a pleasure to meet you as well my lord, I've heard many stories from my brothers.” 

The two continued easy back and forth chatter leaving Rhysand to dismiss himself from the conversation with the excuse of finding Feyre and Nyx. Both found the flow of conversation easy, Helion offering to show the other around the boat and introduce him to anyone that might be of importance.

“So I take it you're close with Rhysand he seemed to offer a kind of comfort to you, apologies if I'm asking too personal of a question.” Helion took a sip from his wine glass and glanced down at the small female that was just taller than his elbow. 

“Actually he’s my brother! Not in the way Cassian and Azriel are brothers with Rhys, no we actually had the same parents. I'm just years younger than them, I was 10 when Rhys took over as High lord.” The female looked up at the taller one smiling brightly. It caught Helion’s attention how bold and brightly she showed her emotions in comparison to Rhys.

“Then if you don't mind my curiosity why haven't I seen you around? Especially during high lord meetings or on the battlefield even?” The Brunette asked but immediately regretted it as the female seemed to deflate.

“I was born incredibly sick, I was months early and my mother was incredibly sick the entire time she carried me. So in my younger years I was rarely allowed out of the house, my father constantly calling in healers for me. I had many near death experiences when I was younger, if I caught even a cold it was cause for worry. So when the title of High Lord passed to Rhysand he was incredibly protective of me as well. So I just rarely left the House of Wind, spent all my time in the library learning as much as I could about politics, strategies, anything I could to help my brother. In recent years since the war stopped he's let me act as a courtier. This is my first big gathering where I'm getting the privilege of actually working.” She seemed to slowly light back up as she rambled, Helion smiled to himself finding it cute, almost innocent and took a sip of wine.

“Congratulations are in order then, It sounds like you’ve earned it. Let me buy you a drink from the bar as a gift for your new title?” Helion placed his hand on the other's lower back and led her to the bar. “What's your poison my dear?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s how the two’s friendship started anyways, nowadays they often exchanged letters and sought out each other's company at parties. Drinking and laughing with each other throughout the night. Which leads to now the smallest of the inner circle holed up in her room trying on various dresses for her newest mission: Attend Helion’s eclipse party and represent Night Court. Rhysand had his hand busy with war camp issues and was unable to attend himself, she would be attending this one by herself.

She stood in front of her floor-length mirror, holding a black and gold lace maxi dress against her frame, gold strappy heels set on the floor by the edge of her bed. The dress was a gift from Mor, all the blonde had said to her was “Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”  before she disappeared back to wherever she had appeared from. 

The dress was a bit more revealing than she was used to, having a sheer section that covered her midriff and had gold feather and plant lace details on it. A large slit that would reach almost to her hip on the right side. Her face was flushed as she fought with her own thoughts on if the dress would be appropriate to wear in Helion and other High Lord’s company due to the plunging V neck it had as well.

She was pulled from her thoughts as a note popped into existence with a faint soft white glow, a note from Helion. She laid the dress against the bed and grabbed the note from the air and smiled as she untied the soft pale yellow ribbon that held it closed. She walked over to the padded couch leaning back on it and pulling her knees under her as she read the finely written letter. From the way Helion wrote she could tell he was excited about the upcoming party asking her things like ‘What color will you be wearing? That way i can have a piece of accent jewelry that will compliment it so we dont clash standing next to each other’ and ‘I simply cannot wait to see you my dear, i have the funniest story about those two high fae that were at my last party who we found sneaking off together even though they were married to others!’. She smiled to herself reading over a particular sentence multiple times, ‘Those tea cakes from the last time you visited the cheesecake ones, you favored that flavor over the other ones right? I wanted there to be something special for you.’ It caused her heart to flutter, he wanted there to be something special for her?

The house summoned a quill, ink, and paper onto her coffee table, and she thanked the house quietly as she began to write back to him in a curling fancy scrawl taking time to show her appreciation for his care. As she finished the note by making stars as the dots above her I’s, she stood and pulled a small silver ribbon from her side table to tie the note shut, willing it back to Helion. Reassured she picked the dress back up, holding it close to her again and spun watching as the edge of the skirt flared, she imagined dancing with Helion like she had done so many times before every time he managed to impress her with his talents and flair for the dramatics.

She hummed happily, setting the dress back down onto the bed and slipping into the attached bathing chamber, where steam rolled off the water filled with oils and bubbles. She rid herself of her morning clothes and slipped into the bath, thoughts drifting to how this evening would go and how Helion would look and act. It didn't take long before she felt her brother's talons scratching at her shields, she greeted him in her thoughts and was relieved when he wished her luck and told her not to have too much fun. Her face bloomed in red as she stumbled over her thoughts asking what Rhysand had meant by his comment. She felt his laugh echo in her thoughts with a simple ‘forgive me if i found the way you look at Helion to be like that of a female in love is all’ before he had wished her well and pulled away from her thoughts. 

Even though her brother no longer remained in her thoughts, his words echoed there, “Like that of a female in love” she repeated his words in a hushed voice as her eyes widened. Did she love Helion? They had only known each other for almost a year now, was that enough time to fall in love with him? Yes she found herself sticking to his side more so than that of her own families at parties, but she argued that was because he made sure to include her in every conversation he had even if she knew nothing about the subject he made an attempt. Yes she cared about what the male thought about her looks, always making sure she was dressed to impress, but she would argue that it was always at a party and she had to look her part of her court. Then she thought about how much it meant to her that Helion had remembered her favorite tea cake from his court she had several parties ago. Fuck, she realized, i am in fact in love with him, Rhys was right.

She rose from the water, wrapping a fluffy towel around her body and moved back into the main portion of her room. The dress seemed to mock her now, like it was pointing out her effort to impress the dark-skinned male. Something registered to her then, what Mor had said “You’ll thank me later” what did she mean by that?

If it was obvious to Rhys that she was in love with Helion the rest of the inner circle must have known as well, so did that mean that Mor was gifting her a revealing dress like that trying to get her and Helion together? She sighed loudly sitting on the edge of the bed before leaning back into her fluffy comforter and covering her face groaning loudly. She didn't have time for this; she had to face the male in a few hours, now was not the time to get caught up in her own head. 

After a few moments she rose from the bed and took the dress into her hands, looking closely at the intricate golden detailing of the lace, feathers and swirls like that of sun rays, Mor had to have picked the dress on purpose if not had it custom made entirely. She dropped the fluffy towel from around her body and moved over to pull on her black lace undergarments and the dress adjusting it on her body. She took a seat on the foot of her bed and pulled on the strappy gold heels Mor had brought with the dress, the ties reaching just below her knee in a small bow. She looked at herself in the mirror looking like a mix between the court she called home and day court, she released a shaky breath and moved to her vanity.

After a while she had settled on just some simple makeup and simple hair styling, looking herself over in the mirror of the vanity she picked up a golden necklace Helion had gifted her at their last party, a simple golden chain with a black crystal wrapped in golden swirls and clipped it around her neck. She stood and looked herself over in the floor-length mirror once again smoothing out her skirts, giving herself a small peptalk and rolling her shoulders she turned to make her way to the main hall of the house, where Mor always waited before she winnowed away to make sure every part of her outfit was perfect.

As she came down the stairs and rounded the corner of the hall into the living room Mor sat in her classic wine red dress, she looked up from her book when the smaller female had caught her attention. The blonde stood from the padded couch, eyes scanning the other’s frame, her eyes locking on the small accent necklace. Her finger came out to toy with the small black crystal, her eyes sparkling as she took it in. 

“This,” she smirked. “This is a nice touch. Helion gave you this at the last party you attended with him right? It's good, I like it, it ties the whole outfit together.” The blonde dropped the necklace back into place between her collar bones and turned.

The younger female nodded,”Yeah he did, said it reminded him of me.” Mor smirked, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she moved back towards the couch. 

“Have fun at the party hun, I would recommend staying there for the night if you have too many drinks I’m sure Helion wouldn't mind you staying over, you two are practically attached at the hip.” Mor shrugged, moving her skirts out of her way as she resumed her spot on the couch.

The smaller nodded and made a small hum of acknowledgement as the blonde winked at her and blew her a kiss from her spot on the couch. “Stay safe, love you!” was all the young female heard as she made her way out onto the balcony to fly herself to a spot she could winnow herself to Day Court.

 Much like her brothers her wings summoned themselves from the shadows weaving themselves into existence. However, unlike her brother’s wings, they were much smaller causing her to tire easily and she only really ever used them to get between the balcony and the base of the stairs thanks to how much energy it exhausted to use them. As she threw herself into the air the chilling breeze reminded her of the night she had met Helion on the yacht, the way the chill of the sea breeze caused the tip of her nose to numb and the way Helion held her close so she wouldn't freeze. The way his eyes sparkled at the brightly colored fireworks that littered the star covered sky, and the way the artificial colors lit up his skin and caused him to smile as he took a sip of wine. 

As she landed the closed eye smile the brunette male gave her when he asked if she had enjoyed her night stuck in her head. She took a few steps away from the steps, her wings unmaterialized back into the shadows, and took a sharp breath in as she shook her head to rid herself of the thoughts that plagued her mind since her brother's earlier words.

A dull ache settled itself into her shoulders and she rolled them back to loosen up the muscles there as her mind ventured to where she would be going. The world around her seemed to still as shadows folded themselves around her and through each other till no more light could be seen amongst them. Then as if a pressure had lifted from her the air becoming easier to breathe, the shadows unwound themselves from around her being and revealed the gorgeous scenery of the day court gardens.

Sunflowers towered over her and she heard a small laugh from behind her. She turned to be greeted by the tall male leaning against the doorway between the gardens and the castle-like manor Helion called home. He was dressed in a more intricately designed and patterned white and gold robe than he normally did, golden lace borders depicting suns and moons overlapping each other. 

He took several brisk strides down the steps into the garden, taking her hand in his he spun her and pulled her into him in a waltz stance. “Well hello there darling, you never cease to impress.” He winked moving to nonexistent music with her.

She smiled falling into step with him, all thoughts of stress from earlier seeming to fall from her shoulders. “Well thank you my lord, you don't look too bad yourself.” She laughed as he dipped her before pulling her back up to stand.

“Not too bad? Oh, come on now I think I look spectacular!” He smiled brightly pulling her into a tight hug. “Did you miss me much?”

She snorted a little as she giggled “Sure let's go with spectacular then, save your old man ego.” She wrapped her own arms around his waist best she could, head tucked under the tall male’s chest. “Oh, so so so much, I could hardly sleep without thinking about how much I missed you.”

The two fell into fits of laughter as his hands gripped her shoulders to hold her arm's length from him, his eyes scanning over the outfit and locking in on the necklace that sat snug between her collar bones. “That's the necklace I got you the last time I saw you, my dear may i say you have excellent taste, I couldn’t think of a better piece to tie your outfit together tonight darling.”

His hand came up to toy with the necklace as he smiled to himself, making a small hum like noise as his eyes sparkled slightly as light reflected off the small black crystal. Her face lit up as his hand fell to her lower back as he led her towards the large glass doorway. As they reached the top of the small stairs his hand fell from her back as he pushed the door open for her to pass through, she smiled softly and nodded in thanks coming to a stop past the doors waiting for Helion to catch back up. 

It was a practiced movement at this point though every time he greeted her it was different. He greets her, leads her up the stairs, holds the door open for her, she waits for him on the other side and she takes his arm as they walk through the manor.

He slows his much larger gait to match her own stride, offering his arm to her which she loops her own arm in, the two falling into easy conversation and laughing on their small walk from the gardens to the main ballroom. She looked up at him smiling brightly as she watched his features scrunch up and he laughed loudly, she caught herself admiring the male's features and it clicked in her mind ‘this is what Rhys meant by the look of a female in love’. 

As the two neared the ballroom doors, soft enchanted piano music played and he slipped his arm from hers to hold the door open for her yet again. The scene revealed to her reminded her of books she had read in the library as a child, she had yet to see such an extravagantly decorated ballroom. As she took in her surroundings, her eyes widening, he smiled down at her and moved to step behind her; his hands coming to rest softly between her shoulders and her neck, his thumb rubbing against the back of her neck sending goosebumps through her body. 

“You like it?” he rubbed her shoulders gently. “I know I probably went a bit overboard but I thought I might as well, just in the party spirit.” 

She watched as servants moved around the ballroom putting on final touches, some closer to the two turning to acknowledge her and Helion with small curtseys, or bows, or even as simple as a nod. Helion pulled her towards one of the tables and pulled a soft white flower from the vase that sat there, bringing it to his nose to small it before reaching up to tuck it behind her ear.

A servant approached, dressed in a butler's outfit, apologizing for the interruption but informing Helion guests were starting to arrive and were awaiting him to greet them. As he bowed and stepped away he made a motion  to dismiss the servants from the room as others dressed in less intricate butler outfits entered the room carrying various golden trays of food, champagne, and wine. 

Helion smiled offering her his hand and nodded towards the door. “Join me darling?” 

“Of course my lord, how could I ever deny your company?” She smiled and giggled, watching as his nose scrunched as he joined her in laughing at her sarcasm as she intertwined her own hand with his.

As the two made their way towards the grand hall doors they were approached by an older looking male, his once dark hair speckled with white throughout. Helion greeted the male, his current advisor she remembered, she had met him plenty of times and knew this was his last big party before he retired and Helion would be without a courtier for a bit. Helion had plenty of emissaries but only trusted the one man to act as an extension of himself, she knew for Helion this was bittersweet, the man had been his advisor since he became the high lord of this court. 

Helion wished the man well in passing, the elder male patting the other on the shoulder, as he laughed and wished Helion the same with a wink. Helion smiled at him affectionately like one would a father or grandfather, and continued to escort her through the room where 2 guards stood waiting to open the doors for Helion, saluting him as he approached. 

Helion tucked her close to his side and rolled his shoulders back, before nodding at the guards who turned and pulled the large doors open; Helion greeted the high fae that waited behind them with open arms, a grand welcoming gesture. He shook hands with several of them, the partners of those who spoke with Helion greeted you in turn. Some faces you recognized like the newest high lord of Autumn, Eris, you'd met him a couple times now at parties and saw through his mask much like that of your own brothers.

As the final couple of fae filed in, Helion offered you his arm and led you across the dancefloor to the dais, where the enchanted instruments played softly as Helion stepped into position to address the large crowd that gathered around the large room. He cleared his throat before straightening his posture and welcoming the room to the Solar Eclipse celebration.

He said a few more words and the crowd cheered, as he moved down the dais the music began to swell, and she looped her arm in Helion’s as was their little tradition. Like the first time they had met he led her around the large ballroom to meet people of importance, she smiled softly as Helion waved to Eris coming to stop beside the red headed male. She watched as some excited younger females pulled their partners onto the dance floor as a faster song began playing, she imagined Helion lifting and spinning her like the males spinning the excited females. Helion made a small, startled noise that brought her attention back to him, Eris himself slightly startled by Helion's sudden noise, Helion began fanning his own face that slowly bloomed into a darker color. 

“Im fine, im fine sorry just got caught off guard by something.” He motioned for a nearby butler to bring him a goblet of wine, which he happily drank down the second it was in his hands. 

She worriedly pressed a hand to Helion’s arm rubbing softly to sooth the male. Eris and Helion exchanged a few more words before the next song started and Helion asked for the fiery male’s pardon, who smiled and turned to leave with a small, “of course”. 

Helion turned to her, swallowing a breath back down and offering her a hand. “May I have this dance my dear?” He smiled softly as a few more couples joined the dance floor as the music finished fading and took a second before a new song slowly began to swell.

She smiled back at him before nodding and placing her hand on top of his. “How could I say no to a gentleman like yourself.”

The dark-haired male led her to the center of the dancefloor, the other couples moving to accommodate their lord and his partner. The two fell easily into step with the song and the rest of the dancers, a fast-paced waltz almost. Helion held her close to his body as they pranced around the dance floor, the smaller of the two looking up at him with an adoring look in her eyes, a similar expression on the male's face. As Helion pulls her back into him after a spin one of her hands lands on his upper arm and she giggled softly to herself, enjoying her time in his arms she noticed how his hand slowly drifted lower on her back.

“So, you told me you had more on the story of those two fae we caught, spill it.” She giggled up at him as he spun her away from him and pulled her back into him, her back against his chest.

Helion laughed for a split second “Turns out they had just found out their mates,” he stilled for a split second as the word sunk in and the music began picking up slowly. “Just brought their divorce paperwork in for their spouse's last week.” His voice was slightly colder, and it faltered a little bit like he was lost in thought.

She was spun in his arms again, her eyes finding his and noticing how he seemed a little distant though as his eyes found hers, he was brought back into the moment. “How lucky they must be, I almost seem to envy them,” she looked away to the crowd as the music began to swell towards a crescendo. “I mean, what I would give to find my mate; I watch my brothers with theirs and I'm just constantly surrounded by it. It would be nice to have that for myself.”

She didn't catch the way he swallowed or how his eyes lingered on her lips, as the music crescendoed one final time and Helion pulled her into him, dipping her towards the floor with one arm. Had she seen that she might not have been caught off guard for a split second when Helion's hair curtained her face from the world, his hand coming up to rest on her cheek as he pulled her into a fervent and passionate kiss. As he felt her tense up in his hold, he pulled away his eyes searching hers, the entire ballroom quiet in suspense. He watched as tears brimmed her eyes, as they widened like she had realized something; he stood her up from the dip worried, quickly being caught off guard as she jumped into his arms pressing a kiss to his own lips.

He pulled her closer, the dull ache that had once settled into his chest suddenly flooded with emotion as he felt all of her own emotions. “You feel the bond now? I was scared for a second you didn’t and that I was going to scare you off with that kiss.” Helion’s hands shook slightly as they settled on the small female’s waist, the ballroom erupting into cheers.

She nodded rapidly, sending a calming emotion down the bond to him. “I do Helion, how long have you known and kept it secret?” Her hand found the male's cheek and he pressed back into it.

“I guess I’ve known since I saw you that night on the yacht, something about you called to me but I just assumed it was curiosity at seeing a new face around. Thank the Mother I was wrong” He tugged on the bond just to test it and smiled as he felt her tug back.

“Yes, thank the Mother indeed, and the Cauldron” She pulled him into another kiss. The crowd began to murmur amongst themselves as a magical hum invaded the air.

Helion looked up to the ceiling watching as the large glass observatory dome began opening revealing the solar eclipse that was beginning to cross the sky. The room darkened and a ring of light around the two lit up around them, a mesmerized whisper was heard across the ballroom and Helion pulled her into a kiss. As he pulled her into the kiss she felt a warmth against her chest, as she pulled away from the kiss, she noticed the small black crystal of her necklace had lit up revealing a small moon and sun etching inside of it. Helion smiled as he watched her eyes sparkle, as she realized why he had gifted her that necklace. He swiped some hair behind her ear and leaned close, pressing their foreheads together gently.

“You know what they say darling, the moon only glows when it's kissed by the sun, trust me you'll be glowing every time i see you from now on.”

“Fuck, I have to tell Rhys he was right.” The two erupted into laughter while holding the other close. 

There was much to be handled now that they both were aware of the bond that had snapped in place, but that was a problem for the next morning. For now, however, the two could be content in each other's arms, drinking and laughing the night away.

#helion spell cleaver #high lord helion #helion x reader #helion acotar #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fandom #acotar x reader #acotar fanfiction

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

Request from @witheringpain - Could you make a headcanon of how all the autobots/decepticons would react if you died in a war (G1) ?

Will do 🫡🫡🫡

Sorry this is so late but I’ve got so much going on I’ve ended up going through my requests at a snails pace lol.

I haven't done transformers requests in 3-4 years so hello pls don't beat me up over this but here we go anyway:

Warnings: Character Death (Reader), Heavy Descriptions Of Gore And Violence, Themes Of Grieving And Depression

Autobots: (This is mostly Optimus-centred but I included most of the Autobots reactions because this first part was already too long to repeat for each separate character – I’ve also made it platonic)

Also PLEASE keep in mind that I’ve only seen short clips of G1, which is why I don’t write for them often, so the characters may seem a little OOC – if they are I apologise but it’s the best I could do

Ooooh boy, they’re not gonna like that

Let’s say you’re Optimus’s bestie (along with the other autobots ofc)

And let’s keep in mind that G1 Optimus is not as calm/ level headed as TFP Optimus and not as ‘death/kill/angry/rage’ as Bayverse Optimus

So he’s not gonna go round on the battle field murdering left right and centre

But he’s also not gonna just stand there

He’s more likely to turn towards the loud gunshot behind him and watch as your body hits the ground and take a moment

Like it’s not gonna click instantly

He probably thinks you’ve been shot in the leg and he waits a second for you to scream or writhe around in pain

But then your body lops to the side and he sees your eyes frozen wide in shock, with a gaping bullet hole still sizzling and steaming away in the middle of your forehead

And when I say it hits them all

It hits them

HARD

Optimus sort of just stumbles for a moment cuz he can feel every part of himself short-circuit

He also thought his audio receptors had stopped working

But no

It’s the battlefield

It’s dead silent

Everyone seems to have just stopped

He can’t see (cuz he literally cannot take his eyes off your body) but Prowl and Ratchet are nearest

And they’re desperate to run to him but the fact that he’s so still

Ratchet doesn’t dare go near you for a hot minute because it’s not normal for Optimus to be still for that long.

Prowl’s too busy trying to see who shot you, and eventually he spies the steaming barrel of the gun from across the field and he’s instantly seeing red

The decepticon that owns said gun doesn’t look any better

You can practically hear him from how much he’s shaking

Eventually, the dead silence is broken

“What did you do?”

It’s Megatron

He might be Optimus’s sworn enemy

But he knows when to not cross a line

As in murder Optimus’s closest friend

Megatron only murmured it since he was only frozen in place a few metres away

But it was loud enough to break whatever spell Optimus was under

Both decepticons watched in terror as Optimus’s head snapped towards them, his optics wide and glowing brighter than ever

And you know what’s even worse?

His face guard is gone

Sheathed away and full face on display

Now, let’s clarify that you, are the only person in the existence of ever, to know what he looks like under the mask

And the fact that everyone can see his full face right now shows exactly how out of control his emotions are right now

He’s heaving, he’s shaking, and there’s coolant streaming down his face because guess what cybertronians can cry

In his millions of years fighting wars, Megatron can’t recall a time he’s ever seen such despair on a bots face

Let alone on Optimus

The sounding of creaking metal brings everyone’s attention back on Optimus

And it takes a moment for everyone to realise where the noise is coming from but soon enough they watch as his servo tightens even more around his axe, the creaking noise becoming louder

And all of a sudden everyone’s like:

Oh shit

The decepticon that shot you is like

Shit shit shit shit

And Megatron accepts he’s gonna be a Con down after today because looking at the state that Prime is in he knows it’s not worth it

He looks to the Con who is pleading for help with his eyes and just shrugs

“I think you’re on your own now :)”

Megatron along with everyone else takes a step back as Optimus begins to move

He’s not running, no

Just walking

His optics not moving from the con in front of him as he strides over.

Eventually the con drops his gun with a cry and frantically runs into the woods behind him

But Optimus keeps his speed at walking pace

Which is even more terrifying

Megatron just moves aside raising his hands in surrender as he passes

Because a heaving, blank-faced, mask-less Optimus unconsciously dragging a weapon behind him is not something he wants to try and pester right now

Soon Optimus disappears into the woods after the Con

And everyone remains silent and unmoving as they listen

Pedesteps every now and again are heard from within the trees

Minutes pass and no one is yet to move, too occupied with straining their audials for a noise

Though it isn’t long until everyone flinches as a terrified shriek rips through the air, causing the birds to scatter

A string of frantic pleads of help follow

Until they are replaced with screams as loud clangs of metal on metal are heard

But soon the screams are drowned out by the clangs and soon enough the sounds of the Con are no more

But the clanging doesn’t stop

It just keeps going in a steady rhythm

Until one final loud smash reverberates through the air

And it is silent once again

Everyone else takes this as their cue

Megatron instantly transforms and takes off

And it isn’t long before the rest of the Decepticons follow, leaving the Autobots to themselves

The following silence is soon broken as Ratchet finally moves towards your body

Wiping the coolant that won’t seem to stop streaming down his face, he kneels down to scoop your lifeless form into his arms

Prowl drags himself over to you both, his pedes never feeling so heavy

With a dark solemn look on his faceplates, he stares at your corpse in the medics arms

After a moment, he slowly lifts his servo towards your face, where your face is still frozen in a terrified expression

And as gently as he can, he takes two digits and places them above your optic lids before sliding them closed

That seemed to be a tipping point for Ratchet as he broke down in heaving sobs

His frame trembling as he tried to keeps both himself and you balanced as everyone around looked at him in both surprise and pity

This is a first because Ratchet is probably the least likely to react so emotionally to death

He been witnessing it almost every day for the past few million years after all

But you were someone special

Someone he thought would be the last person to die so suddenly

Someone he thought he would have time to save, and time to grieve

But that’s what war does

It has no mercy with anyone

No matter who someone is and how special they are

And Ratchet thought he had come to terms with that idea

But the scene he gave showed everyone he hadn’t quite accepted it fully

Prowl wanted to break down too

He wanted to scream into the heavens and beyond, cursing out those who took you from them but also hoping you could hear him

A sign to show that you were still here with them

But he knew it would prove useless

And with Ratchet gone too far into his own mind

He knew it was his turn to be the level headed one

Now wasn’t the time to flip tables and punch walls

He didn’t want to show his emotional instability in front of the others

So he joined Ratchet by his side, a servo slowly soothing up and down the medic’s trembling back struts.

He noted that Optimus still hadn’t returned from the woods

But that wasn’t who he was concerned about at the moment

As if on cue, three sets of bouncing footsteps along with energised voices were heard as they got nearer

Everyone tensed at the sound, and slowly turned towards the outstretch of cliff nearby where the voices owners would soon be revealed

Prowl left Ratchet’s side after one last reassuring pat, leaving the now slightly calmer bot to cradle you

Turning the corner, he was met with two bright sets of yellow and one red

Bumblebee, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had returned from their reconnaissance, playing and shoving at each other joyously after a seemingly successful mission, ready to hear what had become of the fight they missed

Though that all halted when they caught sight of a silent Prowl who was suspiciously not scolding them for returning so late

Coming to a stop, they eyed him, Sideswipe talking first:

“We just saw Megatron and his goons flying away! Did you flip enough tables to scare them off or something?”

That set the three of them into another fit of giggles

But coming to a stop again at the sight of Prowls door wings not springing up in frustration like they usually do

“Say Prowl, what’s got your tailpipe in a twist?” Sunstreaker piped up

Prowl opened his mouth, and got exactly one vowel out before going silent again. He did this several times before eventually giving up.

Ok this was different

Prowl always has something to reply with

“What happened.” Demanded Bumblebee

Despite being a joyous bot, Bumblebee knew when it was time to be serious, and Prowl being lost for words meant that only the worst could have happened

Prowl tried to reply again, but his voice box betrayed him for a second time

Without a second thought Bumblebee strode ahead, brushing aside Prowls outstretched servo and rounded the corner

At a first glance all he could see was every bot crowded around something, but when he called out they all parted to reveal something he wished he could never see

A pained cry of despair echoed throughout the forested valley, and Sideswipe and Sunstreaker didn’t hesitate for a second as they sprinted around the corner to their friend with Prowl hot on their heels

The sight before them was the one thing they never wanted

Bumblebee was being held back as he tried to reach for whatever Ratchet had in his arms, howling and crying out as he stretched his arm as far as he could

The two bots rushed to try and help the others in restraining him, but both stumbled in shock as they caught sight of your lifeless corpse

Soon the bots had to be divided as they wrestled the three young bots that were wailing in anguish for their friend

Bumblebee had given up at this point, his head on Prowls shoulder as he stared at you with a glazed unmoving expression

The twins were worse off, crying and screaming in everyone’s faces until their voice boxes gave out, demanding what had happened and why they weren’t able to save you, why Ratchet wasn’t able to save you, but all the bots and the medic could do was look down to not make any further eye contact.

Not long after the screaming match another set of footsteps were heard getting nearer, and a hush fell over everyone, including the twins after pleas from the others, as they all stared at the silhouette emerging from the foliage

As the bot moved into the sunlight, everyone’s optics widened at the sight

Optimus had returned, but he was barely recognisable

Well

You could still tell it was him

But his paintjob was almost unidentifiable

Blue and red peeked through the streaks and smears of pink and magenta, the energon from the unlucky con splattered all over his frame

The worst parts were on his axe and up his arms, his paintjob covered almost entirely with energon still dripping from those areas along with chunks of metal that slowly slid down his frame, looking suspiciously similar to the con’s paintjob

The most horrifying part, though, was his axe

Which looked like it had come straight out of a horror movie

Through the energon and bits of metal that covered the blades, one half seemed to have bent, the blade curving in a way that would fit a cybertronians head shape after hitting it with the force of a mountain

Which is probably what happened

It’s also probably what made that extra load bang at the end

But no one really cared about that

They were too busy trying to figure out what Optimus would do next

Which was a bit difficult considering he was just standing there not saying a word and just staring ahead into the distance

A beat passed before shuffling was heard and Bumblebee broke away from Prowls embrace and rushed towards the Prime

Despite everyone wanting to stop him, they were too scared of going near Optimus at this point

Reaching Optimus, Bumblebee threw himself around him, not caring about the height difference

This seemed to bring Prime out of his trance, half lidded optics looking down at the smaller bot

Though it wasn’t long before Optimus gently pried Bumblebee’s servos away, holding them in his own

The bots watched albeit tense as the taller bot stared down at his smaller companion

All it took was for Bee to look up whilst blinking back tears of coolant for Optimus to drop his axe with a clang and scoop him into his arms, their helms buried into each other’s neck cables, and Bumblebee’s sobbing started up again

After a minute, they pulled away from each other, and Bee tried to say something through the hiccupping of his voice box, but the Prime stopped him with a servo on his shoulder and a small smile that was far from reaching his optics

Which everyone could see since he had yet to re-engage his mask

But they made sure not to bring it up

Soon Optimus was back on his pedes and picking up his axe, gently leading Bumblebee back to the group

Reaching Ratchet, he placed a servo on his shoulder

“Let’s get them back to the ship old friend."

Decepticons: (This one’s a bit shorter I’m afraid – I struggled with coming up with anything for anyone else so this is more headcanon-y)

Warnings: Character Death (AKA YOU), Heavy Descriptions of Gore, Themes of Grieving and Depression.

Now with the decepticons it can be a little different

Depending on what kind of relationship you’ve formed and with who

The Autobots are all tight knit in some way

Whereas with the cons

You could’ve been working with them for eons

But if you’re just another soldier that has been recruited

Then those higher up aren’t gonna bat an optic

They might notice your posts being replaced

But that’s it

However

If you’re higher ranking and have formed some type of relationship with them

Then things are going to go down differently

Soundwave would be inconsolable for a while

The only ones allowed near him were his minicons

Who would scuttle out his berthroom to grab some energon for their robodad, before quickly disappearing back into the dark room

He wouldn’t come out until Megatron demanded entry

And the minocons along with a few others would wait around the corner in the corridor

Tying to get within earshot but failing nonetheless

Megatron then walked out, not bothering with the troops who scattered as soon as he appeared

It would be another day before Soundwave would emerge

But he wouldn’t answer anyone about how he was

He simply got on with his tasks as he did before

Overworking so much that he would have to be dragged to recharge

Life would resume as normal

But during his weekly spying sessions through the security cameras

Starscream would note the pauses the quiet con would take

Each time in the exact same spot

Standing in front of the doors to the comms room where you had worked

Staring in as if he was looking for you to spring out on him

But you never did

Speaking of Starscream

It’s a bit of a 50/50 with him

You could be any rank

And considering how desperate he is to overthrow Megatron and lead the Decepticons

There’s a chance that he could be so obsessed and caught up in his scheming

That he just doesn’t have the spare time to get to know you or basically care about you in any way

But if we went with the other half

And you were someone he had befriended and roped into his overthrowing plans

Then your death would throw him off track big time

It would take him forever to comprehend the fact that the one con he could trust properly on his ship was in pieces that were now drifting somewhere through space

To the other cons he was just being himself after your death

So just annoying

Complaining how he now had to figure out how to achieve the tasks he had set you for universal dominance as well as his own

But the heaving sobs and wails that echoed through the ships corridors late at night said otherwise

Ravage made the unlucky mistake of walking in on Starscream as he curled up underneath his desk

Though not much time was spent inside as Ravage high tailed it out of there, narrowly dodging something being thrown as the seeker screamed for them to get out

Skywarp and Thundercracker had a hard time as well

Feeling the immense grief flowing through the bond of their trine mate’s spark as they watched him brush you off as just another accomplice in front of everyone else

Now

Onto boss man

Megatron would practically explode

He would be throwing himself into every battle and every autobot he can get his servos on

The one commander, apart from soundwave, he could trust with his life

Gone

In a puff of smoke

Well..

More like an explosion

AKA you were blasted to smithereens before he could pull you free from the collapsing power reactor

He would be frozen in place, your decapitated servo still grasped in his own

Bits of wiring and armour plating surrounding him on the floor

Along with the pink flames of your energon that had ignited as it hit the burning debris

He doesn’t quite remember what happened next

All he could recall were flashes of the bodies of other autobots as he tore them apart

And he found himself sat in the medbay, glaring unfocused at the metal floor

And now, in his berth room eons later, he still finds himself staring at the floor

Feeling as useless as the glass case that sat upon his shelf

Where a single servo laid, refusing to rust

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Thank you so much for reading! I will reopen requests at some point, but for now, I'll be posting what I've already written. See you soon!

Do not repost

#transformers #transformers g1 #maccadam #g1 #optimus #optimus prime #g1 optimus prime #optimus x reader #g1 optimus x reader #platonic #x reader #ratchet #ratchet x reader #prowl #prowl x reader #bumblebee #bumblebee x reader #megatron #megatron x reader #soundwave #soundwave x reader #g1 soundwave #starscream #starscream x reader #g1 starscream #sideswipe #sunstreaker #g1 ratchet #tw character death

[hottpinkpenguin]

Joel Miller X Fem!Reader - Last of Us

A/N: i watched the first episode of Last of Us yesterday and suffice it to say that Joel Miller officially has a chokehold on me and i ain't complaining.

Warnings: dark themes; post-apocalyptic dystopia; death of reader's minor child; probably a lot of non-canon details since I've never played the game; not proofread; spoilers if you haven't seen the show/played the game Word Count: 2402 Abbreviations: QZ = quarantine zone; FDRA "Fedra" = Federal Disaster Response Agency

---

Dying was a way of life in the QZ. Seemed like everyone was dying lately. Fireflies, FDRA, and most of all the people in between. The lost and lonely. 

You met Joel shortly after you died. Your spirit died with your twelve year old son, Gabriel. The docs had told you it was most likely cancer. The fucking irony of that burned you from the inside out until you felt completely hollow. Just a shell of a person, really. Your emotions felt anesthetized, your brain in a perpetual fog. You went about your day from routine and muscle memory. You might as well have been infected. At least then you’d have some sort of purpose. Without Gabriel, you felt utterly useless. He’d brought you a sense of optimism, a reason to at least try and believe in the future. When you’d lost Gabriel’s father Eddie, you’d at least had your son. But without him. Well, without him, there wasn’t any you. You didn’t have a role anymore, didn’t add anything to anyone’s life. You couldn’t think of anything more death-like than waking up day after day to the realization that you didn’t matter to anyone. The night Joel met you, in fact, you had vague plans to drink yourself into oblivion and hopefully not wake up.

But, something changed when Joel ran into you. And he did literally run into you. 

You were walking back from the bus stop after a shift cleaning the killing floor of the poultry planet. A cold, drizzling rain soaked the streets in a fine layer of mist. You crossed your arms over your chest, tucking your head underneath the threadbare hood of Eddie’s old hunting jacket. For a few weeks after Eddie had died in a firefight between the Fireflies and FDRA, the jacket had smelled like him, and you’d taken up wearing it. Damn thing wasn’t too warm, but at least it was decently waterproof. That had been years ago. It was useless now, neither warm nor waterproof, but it was all you had. Everything else you’d sold. 

You were going through the usual calculations in your head, trying to figure out how you were going to scrounge together enough cards to get some hot food in your belly, when something - someone, you realized after he’d hit you - came tearing around the corner of an alley. You weren’t braced for it, and even your reflexes didn’t seem to care enough to break your fall. You hit the damp, cobbled pavement hard on your left shoulder, your head bouncing off the tar and sending stars across your vision. You heard a man’s voice swear as you blacked out…

*****

When you came to, you weren’t in the rain anymore. Your head throbbed and you didn’t dare move in case you vomited. You were resting on something soft, albeit a little lumpy, and there was a blanket wrapped around you. Your head was propped up on a musty smelling pillow and there was a fire crackling nearby. Your shoulder was screaming in pain, and against your better judgment you twisted as gently as you could manage to try and relieve the pressure on your joint. Your gut turned, and you leaned over to wretch as far from yourself as you could. With the first sound of gagging, you felt cold, rough hands grab the hair around your face and pull it away from your mouth as a bucket was shoved in front of your face. 

“Good, you’re awake.” A man’s voice.

You peaked towards the voice through slitted eyelids. The faint, hazy light through a dingy window felt like someone was driving a drill bit into your temple. 

“That’s a shame,” you rasped out, earning a dark chuckle from the man sitting across from you. The laugh didn’t reach his eyes. He had the same thousand-mile stare that most people in the QZ had. You couldn’t guess his age - that was another thing survivors had in common. Nothing ages you like the Apocalypse, Eddie used to say. 

“Pretty sure you’re concussed.” 

You nodded, trying to swallow down the acidic taste of bile-vomit. 

“Pretty sure you concussed me,” you shot back. Another chuckle, this one a bit fuller. 

“Yeah, that’d be me. Sorry about that. I had FDRA on my heels.” You shrugged, trying to push yourself up on the couch. Another wave of nausea tore through your head, but there wasn’t anything to vomit up except saliva. You managed to swallow it down, closing your eyes again to stop the spinning sensation. 

“I’ve got some broth cooking,” the man went on. “I think you should eat a bit. Settle your stomach. You’ve been out for almost 24 hours.” 

You did an idle calculation in your head, automatically tallying up the date. November 29. Not that it mattered, but it was a habit you hadn’t been able to shake ever since the outbreak. 

“Not hungry,” you replied, biting down on your tongue against another spasm in your gut.

“Yeah, but you need to eat. Looks like you don’t do that too often.” You shot the man the darkest look you could muster. You’d learned long ago not to trust men who commented on your appearance. 

“You look sick is all I mean,” your companion added apologetically. He thrust you a bowl with a watery-thin, yellow liquid in it, a curled tongue of steam rising from its surface and an old dented spoon sticking out of the broth. 

“Just try it,” he encouraged you as you eyed him suspiciously. He was big, you realized, tall and strong. One of those QZ guys who lived hard and had the muscles to speak for it. It wasn’t the same kind of physique that people had before the outbreak: lean, toned, all for show. Fitness wasn’t a luxury anymore. It was a necessity for most people in the QZ. Some lines of work required it more than others. And judging by the strong forearm that handed you the bowl, whatever this guy did, it was serious business. 

You accepted the bowl, relishing the warmth of the ceramic between your hands. Your stomach growled as the smell of chicken broth tickled your nostrils. You took a tentative sip, burning your tongue. Your movements were slow and deliberate. 

“Joel.” 

“Huh?” You raised an inquisitive eyebrow at your companion.

“Joel. My name’s Joel,” he clarified. 

You nodded, taking another sip of the broth. Even though moving made you sick to your stomach, your body was reacting hungrily to the taste. 

“Y/N,” you replied after a few moments of silence. Normally, you’d give a fake name. But, what was the point? Even with your real name, Joel didn’t have anything of yours to use against you. There wasn’t anything left to hurt you by. 

“You were Gabriel’s mother, weren’t you?” 

You froze, the spoon halfway to your lips. The sound of Gabriel’s name tore through you like lightning. The heart you’d forgotten you had twisted painfully in your chest.

“What the fuck did you say?” Anger came to the surface first. Your voice was barely more than a whisper.

“Gabriel. Sweet kid. Saw him hanging around the gate a couple times.” If Joel noticed your reaction, he didn’t let on. He was idly poking a burning log in an old, dirty fireplace. 

You didn’t know what to say, couldn’t make yourself speak. Even if you had, you didn’t trust yourself not to dissolve. Joel hadn’t met you before, yet somehow he’d managed to grab onto the only thread of humanity you still had. One tug on that thread and you were unraveling. 

“I’m sorry about what happened to him. Awful shit, cancer. My sister had it, back before… before shit went sideways.” Joel wasn’t looking at you, didn’t even seem to be talking to you. You couldn’t breathe. Gabriel’s name still echoed inside your ears.

“I lost my little girl, too. Sarah. When the outbreak happened. In Texas.”

Joel finally turned to face you. His eyes were empty, and you recognized that emptiness. It mirrored your own. 

“You’ll never get over it, if you’re wondering. Not that you are. Because you already know. I can see it.” Tears dripped off your chin onto the blanket in your lap. You didn’t know how long you’d been crying. 

“I’m sorry,” you sputtered out after a few silent, empty moments. 

Across the room from you, Joel nodded.

“Yeah. Me too.” 

You finished the rest of your broth in silence. It was the longest conversation you’d had with anyone in weeks, and somehow you’d never felt more alone.

*****

You spent the next couple of days in a liminal space between healing and falling apart. Joel’s acknowledgment of Gabriel had broken something loose inside you, and as your head began to clear, you felt the grief all the more. It felt different than before, even right after you lost him. Gabriel’s death had cored the soul out of your body. Now, whatever was happening was infinitely more painful. You hated it, but you also hadn’t realized how much you’d missed feeling things. Even though what you felt was agonizing, it was affirming in a fucked up way to know you weren’t incapable of emotion.

Joel maintained his silence on the subject. In fact, he was generally silent. You exchanged a handful of words here and there, usually in response to him asking about your health. 

How’s the head?

Fine.

Good.

After about a week, the questions took a different quality.

When do you think you’ll be ready to go?

Go where?

Anywhere you need to.

I don’t have anywhere I need to go.

OK. 

You didn’t take offense to his questions, and he didn’t take offense to your responses. There was a companionable bluntness to your interactions. He asked after the basics - did you have what you needed, were you sick, hungry, cold - and you answered simply and honestly. No follow ups, no games, no need to converse on anything. In fact, after the first conversation you’d had about Gabriel and Sarah, you and Joel didn’t talk about anything at all. 

It was the eighth day when you finally felt well enough to stand up and cook. Joel was out - where, you didn’t know - but you thought you’d heat something up for him. An hour before curfew, you moved into the kitchen and started looking through the cabinets. He’d been good about sharing his food with you, and you knew enough of QZ life to know that sparing food wasn’t something everyone would do. And he hadn’t broached the subject of repayment. You doubted he ever would; despite his gruffness, Joel had a core of generosity. You didn’t know anyone anymore who would let a complete stranger spend a week on their couch, no matter how sick they were. 

You found a can of split pea soup in the back of the pantry and an opened package half-full of saltines. You picked out the crackers that didn’t have mold on them while the soup heated over the single gas burner Joel used for cooking. The light was fading outside; curfew was a few minutes away. Right on time, you heard Joel’s key in the lock on the apartment door. A few seconds later, Joel walked into the kitchen.

“What’s this?”

“Dinner,” you replied, gesturing to the two barstools he had tucked up the kitchen counter. He sat, letting out a bone-weary sigh as he threw off his boots, chucking them towards the hall where the door was. 

“Long day?” you asked idly. For some reason, you felt an urge to make conversation that you hadn’t noticed before around him. Maybe it was vestiges of your old life. Memories of entertaining Eddie while you made dinner flicked in your mind. Or maybe it was because something felt different about Joel today.

“Sure,” he replied flatly. You heard the sound of his flask opening, followed by a thick gulp. He drank a lot. You’d noticed that quickly. It didn’t bother you, and he was as generous with the whiskey as he was with his food.

“When are you leaving?” His question was angry. You turned to look at him, not exactly insulted but faintly stung. 

“I told you, I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“That’s not what you said. You said there’s nowhere you need to go, not that there’s nowhere you can go.” You nodded once. Joel was right. The distinction felt accusatory, and you once again had the impression that he was about to speak to a part of you that you didn’t want said out loud. Just like he’d done that first night when he’d talked about Gabriel.

You sucked in a breath before turning to face him, sliding a plate of the edible saltines across the counter. 

“I can leave anytime you need me to,” you said, your voice soft and quiet. “I’m feeling good enough to travel.” 

Joel looked into you for a breath. His eyes looked the same, but you had the distinct impression that they weren’t as empty as the first time you’d seen him. Whatever it was you saw in his gaze, it made you feel ashamed, and you broke eye contact. 

He shifted on the barstool before taking another generous swig from his flask. 

“Good. Tonight.”

You raised your eyebrows at him.

“It’s almost curfew,” you pointed out, nodding in the direction of the window to the street below.

“Fine. Tomorrow then.” His voice was hard as stone.

You nodded, stirring the soup and turning away from him. You didn’t want him to see the rejection in your eyes. You couldn’t say what you’d wanted, but all you knew was this wasn’t it. 

“Tomorrow,” you agreed quietly. 

Joel sat for another instant. You sensed that he was waiting for something: you couldn’t tell if he was waiting for you or waiting for something in himself. Whatever it was he was waiting on, the moment passed. He sighed, frustrated, before he scooted away from the counter and went to the couch. He didn’t say anything when you brought him the soup, and he didn’t say anything when he went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him to drink himself to sleep. You were awake and gone before he came out the next morning, although somehow you knew that he was wide awake, listening to the sound of your departure through the door.

**part 2 here!! Let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters

#joel miller #last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller imagine #last of us imagine #last of us hbo #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #joel miller last of us

[aro-comics]

Maybe More People Are Arospec (Part 3)

Maybe More People Are Arospec, 3/3 - The Alloaro Edition, in which we cover some alloaro specific (negative) tropes that I personally believe is the reason why there are so few people who identify as alloaro 🙃

I both have everything and nothing to say on this one, because the topic at hand hits home harder than I want to admit 😔. I think it's important to acknowledge the harm that constantly enforcing these ideas about sex without romance as being inherently emotionally drainining, a sign of emotional immaturity, or predatory, etc. probably damages the self-perception and self-worth of most alloaros greatly. Of course,:I understand that NOT ALL highlighted are inherently related to being alloaro - but the way these ideas are framed, especially in the split panel, imply sex without romance is the root of the problem, which in reality it is not. A lack of communication, respect for other's boundaries, or being flat out a predator is the actual issue here.

Anyway, I do understand the intersection of different issues that lead to the ideas that I referenced in the comic (elaborated more in the comments). I suppose the solution, as usual, is more education and more nuance surrounding the discussion 😅😉

I'm so glad to finally have this last part of the series up! I hope you enjoyed the ride, and for sure let me know if there's anything else that I haven't covered here you think also keeps people from realizing that they're aromantic 💚💚💚

[Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia sits on a green armchair in a living room. "Actually, let's make this take even more spicy - maybe a lot more people are alloaro in particular."

Slide 2: She looks down. "Alloaros are more likely to be labelled as heartless, or feel that on top of being 'broken' there's something predatory about themselves -"

Slide 3: "There's this idea that people who only want sex, and not romance, are the kind of people you want to avoid. Who don't care who they hurt. You know the trope - "

Slide 4: An illustrated example of the stereotypical trope. Shown is a house party where two characters are interacting. A taller man leans over a clearly intimidated woman:

"Hey Babe, you alone here tonight?" "Umm …" "Come on, don't be so cold, why don't you loosen up a little?" "No, uh-"

An arrow points to the man that says ""the predatory-college-fuckboy-frat-bro-trope"

Slide 5: Another series of examples, this time illustrated from Celia's childhood. The panel is split into three as you progress through the years. In each section Celia watches a television show.

1: "You can't trust him, ALL he does is sleep around - he's never settled down" 2: "Sorry I'm only looking for something casual right now …" "You're scared of commitment" "No, I-" "You're just using me!" 3: "At least it happened with someone who's loved her and been dating her forever", this is in reference to a teenaged character having sex the first time.

In this last section celia says, forlorn, "There's something wrong with ME, isn't there?"

Slide 6: Celia speaks to viewer directly. "I sure as hell didn't want to admit I was Aro because I knew I wasn't Ace."

Slide 7: "So yeah, those are my thoughts. I've told my allo friends about my theories and they …"

Slide 8: "… didn't exactly believe me." Celia is shown video chatting with her friend, saying "So those are my theories as to why romantic attraction is probably less common than we think, and why there's probably way more Aro people! People are probably too embarassed to admit it because stigma or never even realized it!"

Friend awkwardly says "I … I'm sorry I gotta say I don't agree …"

Slide 9: Celia holds her finger up to her chin, pondering. "Maybe it's just an Aro thing."]

#regularcomic #MMPA #MaybeMorePeopleAreArospec #thealloaroedition

[markantonys]

I came across a Twitter thread that said the set up for the docks when it comes to the Warder bond between Lan and Moiraine was handled much better in the books cause in the show they feel like the mechanics of the Warder bond was too vague/not explained well in the show that they weren't able to connect with Moiraine and Lan's emotional conflict in s2 because of it. And I am a bit confused cause honestly I don't think the books explain how the Warder bond works at all from what I remember. Just making a lot of wild claims about how everything about the books are better and how the show is fumbling when they haven't even read half the series yet (show first to book reader). Just this trend to shit talk every choice the show makes when you don't even know the full complete story is wild to me

haters: the show hasn't done enough to explain how the bond works

all the screentime across 2 seasons the show has dedicated to showing how the bond works which the haters kept complaining was a waste of time better spent on rand having swordfights:

like literally what do they want lmao some people will never be satisfied!

but the mention of the "mechanics" of the bond is interesting to me because i think we may be hitting upon 2 different types of viewers here: the minority of lore enthusiasts who need to understand every single detail about how things work or else they will be upset and lose immersion, and the majority of audiences who are content with a general understanding of how things work and don't get hung up on details, or will at most go "hmmm i'm not sure if this makes sense, but it's a cool story beat so i'm happy to shrug and move on".

the former category were going "but what weaves is moiraine doing now? did they actually unbond and now she's remaking it from scratch? i thought the bond was only masked? this is such a plothole, it doesn't make sense, i can't concentrate on anything else about the scene" during the 2x08 moiraine & lan beach scene, and the latter category were thinking "what a beautiful and emotionally satisfying moment of seeing them come back together!" and that's it. and probably similar for the rest of the season. if somebody felt unable to connect with the emotional aspects of that storyline, i would bet it's because they felt too unclear about the mechanics of the state of the bond and couldn't let go of that confusion enough to sink into the emotional aspects. (which is really more of a personal thing; my show-only mom was definitely keyed into the emotional aspects of this storyline and didn't get bothered about some mechanics being left vague. in fact, i think she would've just gotten confused if they'd tried to explain the mechanics in more detail djkfjg bless her.)

undeniably, the show does not explain magic mechanics in as much depth as the books do. but that is because it's banking on the very fair assumption that the majority of audiences don't need to have this level of detail in order to enjoy and understand the story (and may get more confused than they need to be if they ARE given this level of detail). i'll admit that s2 was a bit muddled on What Exactly Is Going On with moiraine and lan's bond, and i found myself a bit confused by the mechanics at times, but that never impeded my appreciation or understanding of the emotional aspects of the storyline because i'm someone who is happy to shrug and move on if the mechanics of how something is functioning in a fantasy story aren't making total sense to me.

also, moiraine & lan at the docks won't happen until the end of s3 and it's very very possible we might learn even more about bond mechanics earlier in s3 via elayne and birgitte (who will be good candidates for explaining some New Bond Basics that it wouldn't make sense for moiraine and lan to talk about since they've had theirs for 20 years), so like..........maybe they should just Watch And Find Out.

it's also very interesting that this is coming from someone in the show-to-book pipeline because i honestly would not be surprised if a lot of their base knowledge for how warder bonds works was absorbed..........from the show. and they just don't realize it. granted, if they started with new spring it might be different because i'm assuming new spring goes into a lot of depth about how warder bonds work (though i don't know for sure, i haven't read it). but if they only read EOTW-TFOH, they sure as shit are not gonna have gotten much info about bonds *from the books* because we barely spend any time with characters who are part of a bond during those books. we get, what, maybe a couple chapters total of moiraine or lan pov and then start diving into it a tiny bit more in TFOH with elayne and birgitte, but it's really not that much from what i can remember - and i can't remember very well, because i went into the books already having a very solid understanding of the concept of the bond thanks to all the work s1 put into showing it. i do not remember learning anything significant about the bond in the first 5 books that i didn't already know from s1.

it's also so strange to me in general to see people start with the show, then go to the books, and then start hating on the show because as a show-to-book pipeline person myself, all going to the books did was make me go "wow thank fuck for the show, it will fix X, it will fix Y, it's already fixed Z" basically constantly. it made me 10000x more grateful for and appreciative of the show and the way it's choosing to tell the story!

#i won't lie a part of me is always like #'i bet this is a lifelong bookcloak making a fake account to pose as a show-to-book person' #whenever i see people claiming that they started with the show and then read the books and now prefer them djkfgjg #i know everyone prefers different things in stories and the show's priorities align way more with my personal ones than the books' do #and not all people will feel the same way. but it's just such an incomprehensible take to me as a fellow show-to-book person! #anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers

[absolutebl]

I kinda fell out of the BL game the last several months thanks to irl things, but I think I'm finally feeling like wading fully back in. I started with Love Syndrome III(only because @heretherebedork piqued my interest) and just finished Moonlight Chicken. What should I watch next? My limits are romanticized sexual assault, cheating, miscommunication as a main plot point, and no HEA. I could also do without a straight side couple, but I'd tolerate it if the main plot and couple are really good. Bonus points if there's a D/s dynamic, but that's not 100% necessary.

Thanks ❤️

Best of 2023 So Far?

Of course darling!

Hum last several months? Let's see...

Our Dating Sim (Viki) - if you haven't watched this it's a must. I actually handed out a 10/10. I NEVER do that. I can't tell you how much I loved this show (or have already rewatched it). It's a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. Full review.

The New Employee (Viki) - just so good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also... Rainbow Rice Cakes and found fam and a lesbian bestie and all the goodness. My review is on MDL.

The Eighth Sense (Viki) - speaking of queer, this one is a bit rough (sticky and gritty), more in the Moonlight Chicken area. But very high quality, fabulous chemistry, and a remarkably complex offering for a KBL - think Blueming-esk but even better.

Unintentional Love Story (iQIYI) - @heretherebedork and I LOVED this one, but it is kinda hard to get hold of. I found the seme a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (who plays the uke) is a fucking GIFT. He has THE MOST expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict tension and pressure is complex and excellent plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Review on MDL.

My School President (YouTube) - I adored this one! My favorite GMMTV offering in dog's age, and my new favorite pair GeminiFourth. It could have gotten a 10/10 from me but for too much singing. This is the side pair from Moonlight Chicken anchoring a high school BL full of the most teenage pining ever and it's GREAT.

All the Liquors (Viki, Gaga) - another KBL hitting hard and solid. This one is KBL-weird in the way of Tasty Florida or Behind Cut (which I've gotten used to, but is kinda a "type" now). It will wig you out if you have any baggage around alcohol. The logic behind the phobias are typically Asian romance qua? BUT it's still quite cute.

Never Let Me Go (YT) - of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs this has been the most successful IMHO. PondPhuwin were about 10000x better in this than FUTS (and that's FUTS's fault, not theirs). It's typically Thai in that its a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. Their Our Skyy 2 follow up is also good. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than the usual 12.

Bed Friend (YT, iQIYI, Gaga) - speaking of a bit bloated, this one derailed somewhat in plot for me (even at 10 eps) but NetJames really are glorious, and absolutely the hottest and the prettiest of 2023. Full of triggers for childhood abuse and sexual assault (backstory), but the main pair is very communication-heavy and based on a fuck buddy premise which has negotiation and everything, unique & fun to see. This is my high heat rec for the year so far, because the heat is PART OF THE PLOT and that's a gift we don't usually get. Review on MDL.

Between Us (iQIYI) - I'm still processing this one. I didn't have as high expectations as most but it was still a little disappointing. BounPrem are lovely of course, but somehow it just wasn't quite what I wanted. I did a watch along for this one so you can see me struggle. However, objectively, held up against other BLs? It's actually pretty darn good.

I hope some of these you haven't seen. None have romanticized sexual assault, cheating, or miscommunication as a main plot point (hum... maybe Between Us? Honestly I can't remember the plot points, it was all over the place), and all have HEA (this is me after all(.

#asked and answered #2023 rec list #recommended bl #bl review #best bl #2023 bl #thai bl #korean bl #Between Us #Bed Friend #netjames #gagaoolala #Never Let Me Go #pondphuwin #GMMTV #All the Liquors #rakutan viki #My School President #geminifourth #Unintentional Love Story #gongchan #The Eighth Sense #The New Employee #Our Dating Sim

[atomicengineerdetective]

THIS SCENE

Warning: Spoilers and a LOT of feelings

Okay, I know I've been talking about pokemon a lot more than usual today But I HAVE to mention this Whole scene because it's just SO good (I think maybe one of the best). It made me so emotional and reminded me of why I love the franchise

First How it STARTS

A Silent battlefield where all you can hear is pikachu's Labored Breathing. You know He is tired and he probably won't win this one. Everything about this part is Intense. Then, The camera pans To everyone looking just as worried for pikachu.

And when I say Everyone I mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON Ash and Him met during Their adventure.

Everyone is here to support them. From Misty and Brock their very first friends, To Goh Who is in the middle of a mission! (okay, it was obvious that Goh Would be watching Ash Compete but still).

Regardless of their relevance in the story or how long it's been since we've seen them on screen Everyone is here watching Because they all care about Pikachu and Ash So much. It's touching end even in such a tense moment, having all of them here gives you a feeling of hope.

And then pikachu falls. And you Hear ash's VOICE as the screen goes dark.

My chest hurt and I honestly thought that Was it you know? Just another Loss that Ash and Pikachu Would take and learn from.

But then, you see THEM. The OG team. Ash's First Companions, Pikachu's First Friends EVER.

THIS is where I cried. Seeing all 6 of them together like old times. Surrounding pikachu with warm smiles it genuinely Brought tears to my eyes.

And it Wasn't JUST them But ALL of Ash's pokemon

And This is where I BAWLED. Just seeing them made me emotional. Each of them reminding me of so many good memories of amazing moments I witnessed over the years. BUT in this context it hits even harder.

In his Toughest Moments Pikachu is thinking back to them, HIS FAMILY. each and everyone of them there, present, supporting him and cheering him on. He KNOWS that even though they are not ther physically they are with him in spirit and they believe in him. And Ultimately THAT's what Gives him the strength to stand Back up

AND THEN COMES ASH, HIS TRAINER, THE PERSON THAT'S BEEN BY HIS SIDE ALL HIS LIFE

And he says the words that I think best describe why this scene is so powerful

"Everyone's at our side" and That's it isn't it? That's the beauty of this scene and pokemon as a whole. The bonds you make.

Pokemon as a Whole is no stranger to showing the importance of Connections and friendships, and this scene in particular demonstrates it beautifly. It shows a bond so strong that keeps you standing in your toughest moments (Interestingly you can also see it in the games throught the affection stat "Your pokemon Though it out because it didn't want to make you sad" I cry everytime).

This scene shows multiple bonds between friends that surpasses the test of time. Friends that even though they are miles apart and havent seen each other in years havent forgotten each other. Every character pokemon and Human is there. They haven't forgotten Ash and Pikachu. And Ash and pikachu still remember them too. Ash even mentions IN the fight How This Victory Is thanjs to all the lessons He learned and all the pokemon He trained. All the bonds He made

Its truly so wonderful to see How Everyone came back at some point and How when they did, It was as if they never left. Thanks To scenes like this The show and the franchise Feels so homey and warm. THIS is what Honestly Keeps me coming Back to it. Hell, look at me, I've been a fan since I was 12 and I am still Here enjoying the show and its all because of moments like this

What a great anniversary indeed

#pokeani #anipoke #pokeani spoilers #Anipoke spoilers #Spoilers JN #pokemon Journeys #pokemon #pikachu #Ash Ketchum #pokemon Journeys 132 #JN132

[airenyah]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

was tagged by @telomeke, @ranchthoughts, and @callipigio <3

do you make your bed?

not usually. both in my room at my parent's flat and now in my own flat as well i don't have a couch to hang out on and so i tend to spend a lot of time in my bed during the day bc it's more comfortable there. why make my bed in the morning if i mess it up soon enough anyway? i'll only make my bed when i'm trying to feel/look neat (like for example when people who i don't really know come over)

what's your favourite number?

23! elementary school me was veeery creative in choosing this number.... (my birthday is on a 23rd) anyway this number stuck with me and now it's just part of my personality hahaha

what is your job?

i'm a uni student and i don't have a "fixed" job where i'm employed and get money every month, but i have been working at a specific theater every summer since 2022. this year i'm actually the official assistant director. the rehearsals haven't properly started yet, but i've already one or the other task for it. can't wait for june when we're finally starting with the rehearsals!!!!!!!

if you could go back to school, would you?

depends... compulsory schooling that they make you go through from age 6 to age 15?? HELL NO. adult education? catch me taking 434353 courses on 434353 things

can you parallel park?

i don't have a driver's license

a job you had that would surprise people?

i haven't had many jobs in my life and none of them seem very surprising tbh? if you know me, at least i've worked as a graphic designer before, but i don't see how that would be surprising. also, i'm sure that i've mentioned this a few times in my tag ramblings

do you think aliens are real?

i don't think aliens are real but i also don't think aliens are not real. basically, i don't think aliens exist in the way they are depicted in movies, but if nasa came up to me and told me they found some sort of life somewhere else in the universe i'd be like "yeah i'll believe that". the universe is so vast, so it wouldn't surprise me if there really is something out there, but i don't really think about it tbh

can you drive a manual car?

as i said, i don't have a driver's license. but if i did, the answer would be yes. bc as a european you WILL be taught to drive a manual car at driving school. you could also choose to learn how to drive an automatic car, but that's really the exception to the rool. besides, idk what it's like in other countries, but in austria you're allowed to drive manual cars only if you got your license with a manual car. so getting your license with an automatic car limits your options quite a lot

what's your guilty pleasure?

i don't really feel guilty about my pleasures?? i don't always tell people that i'm really into thai bl, but that's less about feeling guilty and more of a "know your target audience" kind of thing.

tattoos?

nope. my brother has a couple of tattoos and he'd love it if i got one (i think he'd like to have a matching tattoo with me), but i can't do needles. but if i ever did get a tattoo, it would probably be something related to sicily. my brother actually has a tattoo of the trinacria

favorite color?

a really shiny dark blue and a really shiny darker red!

favorite type of music?

uhhhh.... good question?? i grew up listening to classical music and i still really like it, but i don't really listen to it anymore. these days i listen to pop music quite a lot? but that's also a very hit and miss for me, bc i tend to get overwhelmed easily with pop music. idk, just show me a song of any genre of music and i'll tell you if i like this particular song or if i dislike it my playlists tend to be full of song i have some kind of emotional connection too, though! so for example, songs that have been in series/movies that i watched or songs that my loved one's have/had in their playlists and that remind me of them, etc...

do you like puzzles?

i don't dislike puzzles, but it's not something that i would think to spend my time with

any phobias?

spiders!! i've had a phobia of spiders all my life. it's gotten a little better now, and how freaked out i am really depends on the size of the spider, where it is, if it's moving, and also how i'm feeling that day. the worst thing that could happen is a spider touching me in any way, so as long as i have enough distance between me and the spider and the spider is stationary, i'm good. i really dislike spiders right above my head, though i also have a phobia of needles. when i was 12 i had to get my blood drawn when i was sick once and i had a panic attack (or something along those lines). i've tried to avoid needles as best as i could ever since... and as a child i also had a fear of vomit. people vomiting still makes me uncomfortable, but at least i no longer run away and hide behind the door of my room hahaha

favorite childhood sport?

i've never been really athletic but i liked swimming!

do you talk to yourself?

in my own flat when i'm all by myself? yeah!

what movies do you adore?

der schuh des manitu is my problematic fave <3 apart from that, i also adore stardust and tangled and the emperor's new groove and i'm also up for marathoning high school musical, how to train your dragon, pirates of the carribean (1-3), and lord of the rings (extended edition of course) at any given point in time

coffee or tea?

tea!!!!! i LOVE tea!!!!! i had a cup of tea only an hour ago!!!! i'm not big on coffee, apart from a cappucino every once in a while which i also only drink when i'm in italy bc i just don't like it enough to spend 3-4€ on it in austria. coffee flavored things are mostly fine, but coffee as a beverage? not a big fan

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i don't remember the first thing i wanted to be that wasn't a suggestion by my parents. possibly an actress????

tagging @newyearknwwme @moonkhao @visualtaehyun @celestial-sapphicss @cornflowershade @dimplesandfierceeyes @wack-overflow

as always, feel free to ignore!

#this was fun!! #tag game

[ginnymoonbeam]

For the Top 5 thing, Best Writing

Oooh, great question! For this one I'm going to focus on the narrative-construction side of writing rather than line writing, since I'm consuming all these in translation. I'm picking shows with overall solid construction, clear characterization and motivated development, and interesting or unexpected choices that feel earned and consistent. I'll also name one scene I thought was particularly good from each... not necessarily the best scene in the show, but one that sticks in my mind as great writing.

In no particular order:

Moonlight Chicken

My favorite drama of the year. Wonderful characters, conflicts that feel natural, themes that resonate through the different characters' stories. Standout scene: Wen and Alan's final breakup conversation. Two people finally letting go of something they've held on too long, for different reasons. The scene felt so weighty both with what was said and what was understood without being said.

La Pluie

Talk about theme! La Pluie had clear, insightful things to say about romance and how belief in romantic destiny affects us, and it said them beautifully. Standout scene: Patts and Nara after Patts and Tai have confirmed their relationship. The heart of this whole story is shown in the way Patts and Nara each express their continuing care and gratitude for the other, even though their relationship has changed. It prefigures the explanation Tai's parents will give him about their relationship, and it's such a beautiful, uncommon use of an ex in a romance. The choice to have Tai watching and smiling is also important and lovely.

Be My Favorite

Great writing doesn't have to mean flawless writing. Be My Favorite didn't hit all its marks, but it's a case of "aimed at 12, hit 10," and to me it's a remarkable achievement. It's hard to do a time travel story that doesn't fall apart under examination, but this one is tight, coherent, and beautifully tied into the emotional and philosophical ideas the story is exploring. Standout scene: Pisaeng's rooftop confession. It is extraordinary to have a confession scene that ends in a rejection, but is still so clearly a step forward for both characters and their relationship. Incredible romance writing, I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

I Cannot Reach You

What a gem of a show. On the surface, a simple high school friends-to-lovers story, but the characters are so vivid and particular, their emotions so distinct, that the whole drama shines. Standout scene: Yamato losing control and kissing Kakeru. There aren't a lot of words in this, but here's a secret: writing isn't really about words, mostly. It's about characters taking action, and other characters responding. This was an incredible moment, the pivot point of the whole drama, and the scene that took it from "hey this is a good show" to "ohh this show is it."

Sing My Crush

I'm a big admirer of writing that takes solid, familiar beats and executes them well. Sing My Crush lays out its tropes and storylines in the first episode, and moves in pretty much the direction you'd expect through the whole thing. It just does it really, really compellingly, with characterization that always feels particular, never rote. And the villain! It's actually not easy to write a villain who's so fully believable and so fiercely detestable, and who occupies the correct amount of space in the story. Standout scene: the boxing scene! The boxing scene.

Ask me my Top 5 Anything BL 2023!

#ask game #best of bl 2023

[sirfrancisvarney]

Oh, last night's episode was so upsetting to watch. Even if a lot of everyone's misery was the result of their own choices, none of them deserved that, not even Hank. Fuck grifters. Bunch of scum-sucking lowlifes, all of them. I know Hank is an asshole, but so much of his bullshit stems from his insecurities and sense of inferiority. His wife left him because he wasn't good enough, Danvers looks down on him, and even his own son prefers Danvers to him. That will really screw a person up. And Pete's starting to show the same insecurities. His wife should not have called him stupid in the previous episode. (And Navarro should have put her foot down and waited until morning to go see Tagaq. That didn't have to happen on Christmas Eve. It's not like the trail would have gotten any colder.) I wish Leah could understand that Danvers really does actually care about her, but unfortunately Danvers has chosen death before emotional vulnerability. And then there's Navarro, who pretty much hit rock bottom last night. She tried so hard to look after her sister and it all came to nothing. That's enough of the touchy-feely stuff. I'm not any better at it than Danvers is. Back to the murders.

So according to Danvers (I don't know that I'd personally make that claim based on a single frame, but I'll roll with it), there's electricity in the ice caves, which suggests there were people, so that puts a mark in the "killer is a human" column. If the scientists were getting their core samples from the ice caves, that would explain their connection to Annie Kowtok. Either they stumbled upon the same thing she was investigating, or she found out what they were really studying, and whatever it (or "she") was, finally woke up. I'm going to go with the former theory for now.

I hope they'll be able to get more information out of Otis Heiss, or at least get him someplace warm and feed him a hot meal. He looked rather pitiful. His left eye is clouded over, same as the polar bear and the one woman in the background at the activist meeting. His injuries happened April 20 1998, and I'd guess they were caused by something in the caves. I don't know if it's meaningful or a coincidence, but Annie K. died on April 18, same time of year. I do wonder why she was just stabbed and beaten to death, instead of getting the weird injuries like the men. I wonder if the gender of the victims is significant.

Did Tagaq flee to save his own skin, or does he have delusions of heroism? Not saving himself from the cops, but whatever Lund might have unleashed. And I'm starting to feel a little suspicious of Rose, but maybe I'm just being paranoid. Wish she'd mentioned exactly what she studied. And since she's the only one who recognizes the spiral and appears willing to talk, I really wish Navarro would ask her about it. Maybe after Qavvik gives her the stone she left behind at his place. I hope he gives it back. Please don't make him turn out to be sinister, True Detective. I still haven't recovered from the last time a borderline-feral POC detective finally let her guard down and opened up to a seemingly kind and empathetic man, only for him to turn out to be the main villain. Don't make me go through that again.

On the supernatural (maybe) side, Navarro's family apparently has close ties to the underworld, or afterlife, or whatever you want to call the land of the dead. Unfortunately, not being knowledgeable about Inuit religion or mythology, I don't have any insights here. While I'm willing to entertain the idea that Navarro does have close ties to the other side, I'm not willing to say definitively that that's what's happening. Holden's polar bear in her visions isn't convincing enough proof to me. She and Danvers used to be so close that Danvers knew where she put cans in her kitchen. I'm sure Navarro has been to Danvers's house before and seen the bear, either without consciously remembering it or recognizing the significance of it. Either way, it doesn't really matter to me which it is. As long as the main mystery gets solved in a way that feels fair, I'll be satisfied with the series.  

I hope Navarro's all right. Bleeding from the ears can be caused by head injuries, and it's a very bad sign when it happens (although I don't know if it can suddenly occur hours after the event). Bleeding from the ears in general is pretty much a "go straight to hospital" kind of situation. Her sister's body is also due to come back that day. I wonder if she'll try to tie her death to the scientists. She did take all her clothes off and fold them up neatly just like them. If her body has any other similarities, that would put a few marks in the "killer is supernatural" column.

#true detective #true detective night country #spoilers

[mlchaelwheeler]

Byler fanfic recs (bc we need it)

A Dream Always the Same - @sevensided

Complete || 99k

If you're on byler tumblr, and you haven't read this fic, this is a requirement. So well written, and gives us a perfect characterization of Mike (looking at you, vol 2).

Can't Hold Out Forever - scorchstorm

Complete || 18k

The fics that go through the years of Mike and Will knowing each other since kindergarten just hit different, ok? This one's no exception.

Crazy Together - imyoursandthatsitwhatever

Incomplete || 18k

A S2-era fic about Mike and Will sharing emotions, having sleepovers, and overcoming trauma. What's not to love?

Darling, You Got to Let Me Know (Should I Stay Or Should I Go?) - andiwriteordie

Complete || 11k

Mike gets vecna'd. Need I say more?

Filling the Gaps - nfna118

Complete || 119k

A series of works about Mike and Will starting in kindergarten and going through the seasons. From multiple povs. This is one of my favorite works ever; the characterizations are spot on!

Geography Notes and Doodles - midnighteverlark

Complete || 4k

Mike accidentally takes home Will's sketchbook instead of his geography notes. This one is so adorable omg.

I Never Find Out 'Til I'm Head Over Heels - orphan_account

Complete || 12k

Mike asks Will to the school dance every year, but Will thinks he's just being nice. Mike is trying so hard but he's not quite there yet.

I Want to Know What Love Is (I Want You to Show Me) - reitvelds

Complete || 2k

The snowball, where Mike and Will finally get their slow dance. S2 my beloved <3

In The Haze of Hesitation - sylvianightshade

Incomplete || 39k

Byler and elmax, ft. an oblivious Dustin and Lucas. Set post-S3 and currently in progress.

It's Dangerous to Go Alone! - @byeler

Complete || 12k

Will has trouble sleeping, so of course Mike sleeps over. Late night talks and movie watching, it's adorable.

Jealousy (Turning Saints Into the Sea) - wasabi8000

Complete || 11k

Set post vol 1, Mike is jealous when a cute guy hits on Will at a gas station. Mike pretends he isn't jealous, but his excuses are getting out of hand. This is hands down the funniest fic I've ever read, it will have you smiling the whole time.

Laughing Matters - empressoftears

Complete || 5k

Will gets his wisdom teeth out, and the medicine causes him to say some things to Mike he normally wouldn't. This one is hilarious, I'm never not thinking about "how am I supposed to kiss Mike if I don't have any lips?!"

Neither Of Us Ready to Let Go - dirtyvalentines

Complete || 4k

A different take on the S3 fight in the rain, filled with angst, fluff, and lotr references.

Over a Bridge Of Time - @sevensided

Complete || 23k

The amazing sequel to "A dream always the same." So cute (that ending though!), and I am constantly thinking about the picture of Mike and Will hanging on the Byers' wall of family pictures. So adorable <3

The Red Envelope - midnighteverlark

Complete || 45k

Another classic for byler tumblr--if you haven't read this, where have you been? Will writes down his feelings for Mike in a letter, which Mike accidentally takes home with him. Cue angst.

Thirteen - arlathahn

Complete || 21k

Mike and Will through the seasons, if El left to be with Kali after S2. Also, Will has powers.

Together Forever - orphan_account

Incomplete || 17k

From kindergarten onwards; Mike and Will's development in their feelings for each other. They're kids and maybe don't understand everything quite yet.

Undertow - @byeler

Complete || 11k

Yet another classic fic for byler tumblr. In which Will hasn't had his first kiss yet and Mike offers to help him practice. Featuring Max as the best guide to sorting out feelings ever <3

#after whatever vol 2 was. here's some happiness <3 thank me later #byler #fanfic rec #mike wheeler #will byers #sarah.txt #save #fanfic

[eisforeidolon]

Question: So I just rewatched the whole series again with my husband, who's over there. And it's so beloved for us - just like everybody here. And so I was wondering, do you guys have any shows or movies you rewatch or books you reread that are really cherished, and that - why do they mean something to you?

Jared: Awesome. Thank you. And where's your husband?

Question: He's over there.

Jared: [to husband] Hey, hey, thank you, buddy. Yeah, so twice? Y'all have seen it twice? Amazing.

Question: More than that, more than that.

Jared: I wasn't judging!

Jensen: I am.

Jared: Uh, yeah, I have some, like, feel good shows. I try not to reread books, believe it or not? I just feel like there are so many that I would love to read but I try to reread. I have reread Into Thin Air, John Krakauer. Awesome book. Yeah. And then when I find myself rewatching shows, it's from my childhood. I haven't forgotten Garfield, or Simpsons. Don't judge.

Audience member: Turtles!

Jared: Ninja turtles, for sure. That was a a special time -

Jensen: Which one?

Jared: Which turtle am I?

Jensen: Mmm-hmm.

Jared: Who's my favorite? Probably Michelangelo, but my favorite was Donatello. Yeah, and I always regret - I think it was because I could always find a stick and hit people with it? It's hard to find num-chuks, or a scythe, or swords - my parents wouldn't let me have those. I'd find a stick, though. I'd find a stick and pretend I was Donatello. And he was in the purple outfit, which was pretty good - [to someone in audience] No, I - Leonardo was pretty cool.

Jensen: Donatello was blue.

Jared: No, Leonardo was blue! How dare you.

Jensen: Raphael was red.

Jared: Raphael was red, Michelangelo was orange -

Jensen: Why are we talking about this? [to questioner] Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. And I see you, yeah, your wife's still pregnant, you might want to take care of that. She's been pregnant for ten years.

Jared: So when I do rewatch things, it's from my childhood. What about you?

Jensen: I have - this was unintentional, the show is just always on. But my daughter, my ten year old daughter, has found Friends. And I had forgotten how entertaining that show really, really is. So it's been fun to, y'know - and it's just 'cause it's literally, I don't know what station, TBS or whatever - it's just always open. Any time we're in the kitchen, she'll come in and she'll throw it on and sit down and we'll be just doing stuff, but it's on and I'll just hear PIVOT! and I'll just start laughing.

Audience member: We were on a break!

Jensen: Yeah, we were on a break. And that's another thing, I forget how many iconic sayings came from that show. I mean, what a powerhouse of a show that is. But, um, as far as like a genre-type show, I don't know. I'm kinda like Jared, like once I watch it, I've - going back and rewatching it, I feel like I'm missing out on the opportunity of seeing something new? There is - I do have films that I keep on my iPad and whenever I'm travelling or something they're downloaded. And there's one particular movie that - I don't watch it, from beginning to end? I usually will just fast-forward and watch scenes? Of No Country for Old Men. 'Cause I just think it's a master class in filmmaking.

Jared: I'm like that with Inglorious Bastards.

Jensen: Yeah. Oh, anything Tarantino. Like, I got Hateful Eight, I've been rewatching -

Jared: Oh really?

Jensen: rewatching scenes in Hateful Eight. Which, I mean, that could be a stage play. I think it was originally - he wrote it for almost being able to do that, but. Um, it's uh - yeah. So I get the wanting to go back and kinda revisit those things, 'cause it does give you those nostalgic emotions, but also, you know, new experiences, like I'm sharing this with my daughter, so that's kind of a fun new experience.

Jared: Yeah. It's also - So I guess I question my earlier statement about how I want to read new things? 'Cause it's very interesting if you watch the same show or movie or read the same book at different points in your life where you pick up. So maybe I'll just start binging [pause] Supernatural. See where it ends up. I do, I will say, I will say, not a word of a lie, I've probably watched fifteen or twenty reaction videos to the finale. Cry every time. I'm like - I start out like, they don't know what's about to happen, neener neener. And then once Dean meets the post and they go [huge gasp] I'm like, same, same! So I have watched, I think, every single one. But yeah, yeah, that'll be interesting to go back and revisit that show that we worked on that one time.

Jensen: You just talked about a scene from it! [dramatically hangs head, big sigh] We're gonna get cancelled by our own union. Shh.

Jared: I said that show. Super-normal show.

Jensen: No, it's not Supernormal, it's Anything But Normal. It's Unnatural. It's Abby Normal.

#dccon 2023 #j2 main panel #long post

[questforgalas]

Thoughts while watching Ahsoka Ep 5!!

There was a lot of yelling into my hands in just the first 15 minutes

WOWEEE we haven't event started to watch and we're already emotional because HAYDEN IS THERE IN ALL HIS ANAKIN GLORY ON THE HOME PAGE BANNER *sobs in prequel fan*

"Ahsoka confronts her past" we have still not even started and the episode description has me on the edge of my seat for the crumbs I'm desperate for

Yes those crumbs are live-action Rex. Don't worry I have my clown hat ready next to me.

Oh my god was that a clone trooper helmet???

Dear god i need to calm down

ANYWAY

Dave loves his samurai vibes

Jacen and Chopper will continue to make me emotional until I die

Hera and Din Djarin should meet about parenting styles

Jacen popping out behind Chopper

HUYANG WITH SABINE'S HELMET

"I told them to stay together" OH MY GOD I NEED TO GIVE HUYANG A HUG 😭

The title is "Shadow Warrior"?????? Fuck this is giving Maul crumbs

She's still so excited to see him oh my god I'm still not ready for this

"You look old" ABSOLUTELY FIRE OFF THE BAT SNIPS AND SKYGUY I'M CRYING

Oh my god we're getting live-action Anakin teaching Ahsoka guys we ARE GETTING LIVE ACTION PADAWAN AHSOKA AND MASTER ANAKIN

Is this like the ghost of christmases past but Star Wars?

"I'm here to finish your training" alright, now actually crying. Why do these two do this to me dear god Tay

"It's a little late for that"

Every time Hayden says "Snips" a year is added to my life

NO WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING

WHY IS THIS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED TOO

I desperately hope Hayden did all that saber work because that choreography was siiiiiick already and we just started

"We have no hope of following" USE THE PERGILL

How fucking funny would it be if Din and Grogu just showed up and Carson was like "This is my buddy I call whenever something weird happens"

Heyo love Jacen saying there's something about the water and then the little force trill plays when Hera turns

Let you weird force sensitive kid tell you about the water

Seriously, I feel like Hera and Din need to start a "force sensitive kid" parent support group. They're the only two members. It's just the two of them talking about the weird shit their kid pulled off

Ok yeah fucking cool with the lightsabers in the waves. You go Jacen!

"HIS FATHER KANAN JARRUS" WE HAVE LIVE ACTION CANON KANAN JARRUS LADIES AND GENTS OH MY GOD

LOLOLOLOL at Carson just going "Yeah ok fine whatever"

ANAKIN SABER TWIRL ANAKIN SABER TWIRL

Now that wasn't very nice Skyguy

Seriously, is this the night before christmas Star Wars edition because I'm here for it

THE FUCKING GASP I MADE WHEN THE CLONE TROOPER RAN OUT OF THE FOG

ARE WE GETTING LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS OH MY GOD ARE WE GETTING LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS

I'VE PAUSED THE EPISODE BECAUSE I'M SHAKING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IS SHE IN HER CLONE WAS OUTFIT??????????

IT'S STILL PAUSED BABES I HAVEN'T MOVED FROM 12:42 BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW

Ok ok ok, hitting play

NEVER MIND WE ARE PAUSED AGAIN THAT IS 501ST BLUE I REPEAT THAT IS 501ST BLUE

ACTUAL TEARS ARE FORMING IN MY EYES THAT IS 501ST BLUE

LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS ANAKIN LIVE ACTION CLONE WARS ANAKIN

BABY SNIPS THAT IS A BABY SNIPS THAT IS A LIVE ACTION BABY SNIPS

THAT IS LIVE ACTION ANAKIN CLONE WARS ARMOR

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS INCREDIBLE OH MY GOD

We are only 13:22 into the episode and I've paused yet again because Hayden Christensen is in Clone Wars Anakin armor and I'm so overjoyed and overwhelmed by the site of it and there's baby clone wars snips right there and oh my god the jaig eyes are right around the corner I know it and I'm not ready

Her green saber 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

So help me if those jaig eyes show up

Hayden looks so amazing I'm so happy

SO HELP ME IF THOSE JAIG EYES SHOW UP IN A FUCKING MEDICAL SCENE

IT'S 15:06 AND HE'S SO FAR IN THE DISTANCE BUT HE'S RIGHT THERE HE'S RIGHT THERE ON MY SCREEN HE'S LIVE ACTION OH MY GOD

SHE'S JUST A BABY

THEY'RE SO SNIPS AND SKYGUY

"What if I want to stop fighting" "Then you'll die" ok stab me in the heart Dave that's fine

LOOK AT REX RUNNING INTO THE FOG WITH HIS DUAL BLASTERS

It was a crumb but it was the most scrumptious crumb

Oh fuck the flash to Vader DAM

I'm serious I would fucking die laughing if Din and Grogu showed up like "Hey, we're here to help the search party. Carson beeped us"

Errbody talking about Anakin this episode huh

"Intense" lol Huyang was not an Anakin stan

The Jacen-Chopper friendship is everything I needed without knowing I needed it

LIVE. ACTION. SIEGE. OF. MANDALORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? LIVE. ACTION. SIEGE. OF. MANDALORE??????????????????????????

We are 21:32 into this episode and I've had to pause (not exaggerating) 7 times to yell into my hands

LOOK AT HIM RUNNING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND TAKING DOWN MANDALORIANS

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

We got past the clone wars flashback and I made peace with myself we wouldn't hear him speak but oh my fucking god what if he speaks now

Yes we're still paused, yes this episode will probably take twice as long for me to get through purely because of Rex sightings

OH MY GOD HE SPOKE

OH MY GOD IT'S TEM REX IT'S TEM REX

Why am I crying why does Star Wars do this to me

Hearing Temeura Morrison refer to Ahsoka as Commander in Rex's armor makes me want to cheer and cry at the same time

Awwww Hayden's Canadian came out when he said "about"

NOT BABY SNIPS FIGHTING VADER NO NO NO

Ok these fucking flash cuts to Vader's suit are fucking sick

OK DISTORTED HAYDEN AND VADER VOICE

YO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HER BRINGING THE SABER UP AND THE LIGHT REFELCTING IN HER EYES TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SHE TURNED SITH FOR A HOT SECOND HOLY SHIT

Bye Hayden I love you

Ok so this is the Star Wars A Christmas Story, you can't tell me otherwise

Mysterious goop rising up? That's a nope from me dawg

WE'RE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE???

Seriously holy fucking shit everyone say "Thank you, Dave" holy shit holy shit this is is Mona Lisa, this is his Last Supper, this is his Pieta, he loves these characters and Star Wars so much oh my god

WAH so jarring to see her without her little headpiece thing

It's like when Echo showed up in TBB without his Kama I was like "SIR YOU ARE NAKED" I'm having the same feeling with her

AHSOKA TAKE ON JACEN AS A PADAWAN TAKE ON JACEN AS A PADAWAN

"We were hoping you could explain what happened" well, ya see, we were stubborn per usual

She's so Gandalf the White right now

OH MY GOD TAKE HIM AS YOUR PADAWAN DAM IT

Yas force visions for the win

(WHERE IS QUINLAN DAVE)

Anyway

Like literally the Gandalf imagery is so obvious

USE THE PURGILL

My babygirl needs so much therapy I love her

USE. THE. PURGILL.

I swear if I was in Star Wars they'd all have their answers in 1/4 of the time

Ahsoka is so dramatic I love her freaking lineage so much they love overdramatic entrances my god

Oh hello Gandalf

She could honestly get me to do anything with her little side smile I love her so much

What a fucking love letter to Star Wars this show is

Carson if the friend of all friends. "Hey make sure the fleet doesn't get near us" "yeah sure I can do that" stalls said fleet via ridiculous chatter

Hera tells Jacen about Ezra 😭😭😭😭

Cannot wait to see all the cosplay of this fit of Ahsoka's, this grey and white is siiiiiiick

Would fly to wherever Dave Filoni is to shake his hand if it ended with the purgill just taking a chomp and thus killing them. Would be so freaking funny

Oh hello shot tribute to inside the asteroid worm in ESB

"No idea" I. FREAKING. LOVE. HER. THIS. IS. SNIPS. I'M. DYING.

Look at her learning her little Jedi lessons

"Jacen's too young to fly through galaxies" fucking mom of the year

THIS IS AN UTTERLY STUNNING SHOT?????

#star wars #ahsoka #ahsoka series #ahsoka spoilers

[bengiyo]

Step By Step Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

Last week on HR Violations, Jeng made his feelings plain to Pat, and Pat was not prepared for one more emotional blow. Jeng had a complete emotional breakdown in a standpoint bit of acting from Man Trisanu. We spent much of the week unpacking exactly what happened with Pat, and determined that he’s just 25, tired, and overwhelmed. Ae had her baby, and nothing made sense from a practical standpoint. Jeng broke all of us with “It makes sense to me,” and now we’re supposed to just stroll back into this.

I still approve of Jeng doing the responsible thing and keeping his distance from Pat.

I love Chot so much. I am loving this new trend in BL about shows encouraging people to respect the feelings people are expressing, and reminding characters (and viewers) that I takes a lot of courage to express them. It’s still okay to reject people, but treat people kindly. Love Chot making the overall situation plain for Pat and confused viewers.

“It’s been eight years already. I’m used to it,” feels like a subtle commentary on BL itself. Chot has not been able to live his live a openly as he’d like with his boyfriend because the family wouldn’t approve. Coincidentally, that’s the same amount of time we’ve been in the current era of Thai BL. For all the money and interest that’s been poured into BL, lived queer experiences still face daily struggles.

 A carrot cake? Pat, please do better.

I see. The show is going to make me cry about Chot. It’s time to write an essay about Step By Step.

“It’s alright. I own this place.” Sir!!!

My man just trashed his own kitchen to get it in.

Smitten looks good on Pat.

He let me hit so I can follow back on Insta

These two have lost all composure. Hooking up in the company parking lot!

Chot is trying to cover for these two, but they are being unfortunately way too obvious.

I’m having complicated reactions to the homelessness scene. Feels like the show wants to quickly shine a lens on an issue important to the filmmakers, but it feels awkward as hell.

Hey, it looks like the Fjord project went well.

Okay, Pat’s dad is funny. I like his specific beef with Jeng. Still, I kinda hoped he’d ask harder questions like, “How is this supposed to work if you’re still his boss?”

They keep going to this one shot when they go to the bedroom that’s clearly from the closet and using Dutch angles. This feels intentionally designed to make me uneasy.

Oh they're using P' and Nong now.

Ben has a happy trail. Let me pause and collect myself.

WHERE IS THE BABY??

Did they give the hets a camera angle kiss??

Oh nevermind it was meant to cut to Pat and Jeng as a potential future.

Now you know Ae was aiming for Pat with that bouquet. She is messy like that.

Wait, so Jaab is seeing someone else now?? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get from Jaab and Jen.

Okay, we found the baby.

I like that Beam and Ae didn't touch each other, if I'm reading this right. Glad we can put this to bed.

Oh, I don't like Jeng promoting Pat into his position. That's not good for either of them.

Suddenly, a glow up for Ying?

Whoa, was not expecting this EXTREME GEN X ENERGY from Ying in Pat's corner.

"Haven't I been strong enough?" is a whole mood.

Yet another instance of BL reminding us that they both have dicks.

"I want to be happy with you." Oh, Jeng. I am also lonely in my 30s. I get it. I really do. But, my man, you cannot put this on Pat.

Pat's resignation was inevitable. Jeng, who's normally so controlled, definitely lost all composure this episode.

I'm not jumping directly into the discourse here, but I will say clearly that I am only watching through Gaga. Do not send me comments, asks, or messages about episodes only available legally through WeTV fast track. I don't subscribe to spoiler culture, but please don't be rude.

As for this episode, I feel a bit muddled. I'm going to spend some time thinking about core themes and seeing what this show actually wants to explore.

#step by step #step by step meta #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches