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welllpthisishappening · 3 years

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But Once a Year (4/5)

This is a trick.

It has to be. Something Pan planned, or some nonsense only possible in Neverland, because one second Emma’s sitting outside the Echo Caves and wondering how exactly things could possibly get worse, and then the world decides to take her up on the challenge. She’s not where she was. Or when she was, either.

And the future isn’t entirely what Emma expects it to be, but that might not be entirely horrible and Christmas with a husband and a family that quite clearly loves her is only kind of messing with her head. God bless us, every one.

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Rating: T Word Count: Another 9K or so, but with feelings AN: I had every intention of posting this on actual Christmas, but there was a Doctor Who marathon on and, well—I got distracted by other time travel. Hopefully my timelines are more consistent than River Song’s. Sorry, River Song. Here’s a whole bunch of kissing and feeling feelings.

Also on Ao3 if that’s how you roll || Or start from the start

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“Were you ever actually going to paint?”

No eyebrow movement that time, although Killian’s actual eyes widen ever so slightly and that particular reaction is starting to do dangerous things to Emma's ego. He keeps his coffee mug hovering just above his lips, which she’s certain is a carefully calculated ploy to also keep her staring at his lips, but that’s not all that difficult and she’d spent at least seven full minutes kissing those same lips senseless that morning.

In bed.

The one they’ve slept in — for four days straight now, which is probably more time than it should be, but he was right. Falling asleep with his arm around her is far easier than the opposite, and he only occasionally complains about the frost-like tendencies of her feet. Mostly into the back of her neck. That’s just where his mouth ends up.

So, everything is still going great. Not potentially problematic. Because neither Regina nor Tinker Bell have come up with a working time-travel theory, and Emma’s baking endeavors haven’t gone over all that well either, but she’s discovered Killian’s tendency for stealing batter, and that’s even more ridiculously endearing information that’s only sort of skewing with her sense of reality, and— “Is this you volunteering?”

Startling, Emma almost forgot she’d asked a question. His mouth does something else. Stupid, and distracting and he uses almond milk in his coffee.

Claims it’s a modern convenience he’s more than willing to take advantage of.

Great, great, excellent. Possibly falling towards something, in a free-fall sort of way, and Emma shakes her head. Brushes away dangerous thoughts and hard-drawn lines in the much more metaphorical sand, and she wonders if sand ever lingers in their entry way during the summer.

They must go to the beach.

Spend time on the Jolly Roger, and she hasn’t seen much of the ship, but she’s starting to think it’d be nice to pass an afternoon on the water, with the sun and the salt and— “Swan,” Killian says, obviously not the first time he’s tried to draw back her attention. Chair legs scrape across their kitchen floor when he stands, and Emma’s brain barely acknowledges that particular pronoun before he’s crowding her space and bumping his hips against hers and nothing like that has happened yet, because that’s not just a line, it’s an entire rhombus or some other geometric shape that’s more like a tangled mess and knotted feelings and she flinches.

When his hook drifts under the hem of her shirt.

Floral patterned, and far gauzier than anything Emma would even think about owning now. Or then, she supposes. Tenses continue to be their own specific type of issue, and she’s starting to like the clothes hanging in her questionably large closet.

They’re soft.

Which is probably not a commentary, or observation of whatever tense she’s willing to use, but it’s definitely different and possibly better and Killian chuckles in her ear as soon as her head falls to his collarbone. He kisses the top of her hair.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Scoffing into his shirt threatens to rumple the fabric, and she doesn’t really miss the billowy fabric of what’s now years past, but she also wonders if he kept them and where he docks the Jolly during the winter, and she can’t start giving pirate ships nicknames. Not now. Not yet. Not when she’s got to leave, and that only makes, like, half her muscles ache, so it’s probably not as bad as it could be.

“They’re not worth that much,” Emma mumbles, the soft laugh she gets warming her from the inside out. A mix of magic and much more, and she’s back on the alliterative. As a defense mechanism or something.

For her heart, maybe.

“Luckily for you, I’ve got something of an eye for undiscovered treasure and—” “—Is this a line?” He laughs again, noses at her temple and the crown of her head and neither one of them mention how tightly Emma’s arms wrap around his middle. “If you can’t decipher when I’m flirting by now, we may have some issues.” “Some is a vast understatement.” “It’s going to be alright,” Killian promises, but it rings a little hollow and part of Emma knows. Still dark and distant, it doesn’t want to acknowledge everything it’s ignoring and a pointed voice echoes between her ears. With the same mantra.

Magic is emotion.

And Emma’s emotions are decidedly split. Just like Pan thought they’d be. Maybe she’s not just a coward; she’s selfish and greedy and inching dangerously close to a crying jag in the middle of the kitchen, but then Killian’s fingers drag across her spine and it’s a rhythm she can time her breathing to.

“We’re running out of time.” “That’s not entirely true. Time travel’s apparently heavily involved, makes deadlines rather defunct, don’t you think?”

Emma scrunches her nose, but the voice is back and it’s sharper and a little angrier and stamping on several different parts of her brain if the growing pain is any indication. All magic comes with a price. “Talk to me about paint instead.” “Not much to talk about,” Killian says, but the caution in his voice makes it obvious they’re both all too aware of what they’re avoiding. Possibly even dreading. Emma is, at least.

She’s going to strangle Peter Pan when she sees him.

“But you haven’t done it.” “Some other things have been going on, you see.” “Don’t you want to paint?” “It’s not particularly high on my list of ways to occupy my time,” he admits, one side of his mouth tugging up. Flirting is getting easier. Some joke about practice, Emma is sure. “But, if it’s something you’re willing to help with, and it will get those thoughts of yours to settle for a few moments, then—” “—Who says my thoughts aren’t settled?” Tapping the all-too-noticeable furrow of Emma’s forehead, Killian’s eyes widen again. “Absolutely God awful at masking them, m’dear.” “Maybe that’s just a you thing.” “Aye, my mind-reading talents have been well-documented, but I suppose if we’re going to wait for Her Majesty to come up with yet another pointless—” “—Kinda harsh,” Emma mumbles. He kisses the furrow. Traces the lines of her brows, and hovers just on the edge of her eyes, grazing cheekbones and the bridge of her nose, until Emma's skin is buzzing and her magic threatens to pour out of her, and she’s only just able to contain whatever wave joke is pressing against her lips. Good, since those lips can be put to much better use against Killian’s. “Better plan, anyway,” he mumbles, working his arm back around her waist. So he can tug her up, and pull her closer to him and neither one of those things feel like the multitude of other problems Emma’s overactive brain is dealing with and they do eventually get out of the kitchen.

Finish the coffee, and figure out where Hope’s favorite hat has disappeared to, because Emma’s rather quickly learned that this hat has legs that quite often move from its spot on the shelf into the hallway, and the overall width of Mary Margaret’s smile when she opens up the farm’s screen door isn’t as jarring as it would have been a week earlier.

Getting back home takes longer than it probably should — ducking into the alley behind Granny’s for at last forty-two seconds of totally uninterrupted kissing, and Emma’s not entirely sure this is what being a newlywed is like, or was, she supposes, but it’s still pretty fantastic and she doesn’t want to name the sound that works its way out of her.

Part giggle, a hint of overjoyed, and some sort of lingering fear because this isn’t quite real, but feels like the exact opposite, and they find old drop sheets in one of their half a dozen closets. Right next to the shirts she’d been wondering about before, and that’s probably not serendipity or fate or anything except Killian’s own sentimental tendencies, but she’s got to change her clothes anyway, and she doesn’t drown in the fabric like she worried she would.

Likely not a metaphor, either.

“Cheating,” Killian accuses, reaching for Emma anyway and moving the furniture isn’t the easiest thing in the world. Until Emma also remembers she’s got magic, and the ability to be very attracted to the guy who can’t seem to keep his hand off her, and she only has to blink once.

For the furniture to move into the basement, at least for the time being.

“Impressive, right?”

“Look who’s fishing for compliments now.” “C’mon, that was a shit ton of—” She doesn’t get the rest out, far too busy gasping and blinking and he’s swiped paint on her nose. “Are you kidding me?” Shrugging, he dances out of her reach before Emma can totally react and the paint’s already starting to dry. And crack. The signs are just getting obnoxious now. Makes much more sense to keep ignoring them.

“No, no,” she argues, not bothering with the brush stuffed into the top of her leggings. Twisting her wrist, paint soars towards Emma’s fingertips, curling around her wrist and practically vibrating with the energy she’s flush with.

Killian takes a step back. One more, another. A quick shake of his head makes the strands falling across his forehead shift again, and she’s not counting how often that happens, but she’s also paying fairly close attention to it and—“Revenge is never wise, love,” he advises, not able to keep the laugh out of his voice.

“Pots and kettles, and all that, right?” “I’m completely reformed now. Ask anyone.” Humming, Emma advances on him. Magic ripples up her arms, power she’s never quite experienced before and it’s oddly intoxicating. Not in an overwhelming, potentially villainous sort of way. It’s far too warm for that.

Villainy has to be cold, Emma’s sure.

As it is, she’s not quite sweating, but she’s decidedly comfortable and all of her internal organs are functioning with an ease that belies their situation, or the problems it presents, and none of the paint ever touches her skin. Hovers in the air around it, wholly controlled and that’s not something Emma’s particularly familiar with.

It’s nice. It’s—much more than nice, but she fell once while trying to do the long jump in that one Minnesota high school she spent a few months in when she was fifteen, and the prospect of something similar makes her wary of leaving the ground again. The line’s still there. Drawn with precision, and possibly permanent marker, and they can’t paint over that.

Not yet, at least. Not entirely.

“It does kind of match your eyes,” Emma says, hoping Killian doesn’t notice the shake in her voice. No such luck, she knows. Can see the flicker of concern in his gaze, but he’s able to push away. Not from the wall, and there’s something cyclical and symmetrical about this too, emotion almost visibly hanging between them. Another thing they haven’t talked about, and likely won’t have time for.

Totally fine. Absolutely great.

Falling for—

No, no falling. Standing and walking and Emma lifts her chin. Lets her magic twist its way up her spine, and flicker towards her bare feet, and Killian’s mouth twitches again.

“Care more about the dress, really.” “What’d it look like? And where was Elsa’s—you said it was a wedding, right?”

“Her wife was here, you saw Mulan yesterday.” “No shit!” “Always with the perfect response,” Killian grins, “but yes. Met while Mulan was doing ambassador work for Aurora and Phillip, and love conquers all or so I’ve been told.” “Say it again without making it a joke.” Not shuddering under the force of his ensuing gaze is another victory Emma’s going to relish, even when she’s wherever she’s actually supposed to be, and she hopes she remembers this. In picture-perfect detail. “Conquers all,” Killian repeats, “as far I know.”

“Personally?” “Deeply so.”

Emma licks her lips. Killian stares. Tries not to, but she really is getting better at reading him and he doesn’t put up as much of a fight about information anymore. Seriously, everything’s so fine, the word barely holds any meaning now. But, like, in a positive way. “So, we went to Elsa’s wedding because—” “—You and she are rather good friends. Hope’s godmother, in fact.” “Oh. That’s—wow, that’s kind of nice.” “It is,” Killian agrees, not adding to it. He doesn’t have to. They both hear what they haven’t said — how few and far between friends are for Emma, and she briefly wonders if he knows about Lily or the kids who showed up, only to disappear just as quickly, and it would be second-nature to tell him. Part of her wants to now.

Rehashing seems silly, though.

“Anyway,” he adds, “Elsa and Mulan got married, and there was a dress that I will admit to thinking quite a lot about still, and it was blue. With these…” His eyes flutter closed. Magic roars in the very center of Emma. “Little bits of twisted fabric on top, looked like starbursts.” “Like the candy?” Gods, she an idiot. An entertaining one, if Killian’s smirk proves anything, though. So that’s something, at least. “Did we dance?” Nodding, his eyes keep darting back towards Emma’s hand and the paint that’s become some part of a questionably romantic thing, but she’s also starting to get the suspicion he’s using the wall to stay upright. Something thumps into it.

Light bursts from the end of Emma’s hair.

“Oh,” Killian groans through clenched teeth, and a jaw that can’t possibly be comfortable, “that’s hardly playing fair, sweetheart.”

Huh.

The light grows. Flares, even — until it’s casting streaks across the floor and hovering just under Emma’s skin, because apparently she can glow now, and she almost feels like she’s floating. On endearments and sentiment and the air blowing through windows opened solely so they didn’t suffocate on paint fumes suddenly smells a little sweeter.

“You’ve got your hook embedded in the wall,” Emma points out, none of those words all that even either. She doesn’t sound like herself, but she also didn’t know she was a person who reacted quite like that to one ten-letter word, yet here they. So, whatever really.

Wider eyes and slightly parted lips meet her somehow still-lifted chin, and Killian’s nod barely warrants the description. Leaves his chest shifting, but Emma’s also admittedly staring at his chest because for as big as the shirt she’s wearing is, his is just as tight and touting a college she figures Henry thought about going to at some point, and she seizes her opportunity.

Paint flies — literally. Soars across the barley-there space between Emma’s toes and Killian’s socks, and she genuinely cannot cope with how he only ever takes his socks off to sleep. He gasps when color splashes his cheeks and his shoulders, hangs from the ends of his hair, and threatens to find the edges of his lips. “Gotta close your mouth,” Emma advises lightly, getting the exact spark in his eyes that she was hoping for and she yelps all the same. When he ducks his head, nosing at her neck and the line of her collar. Which is technically his color, but she’s been using all those collective pronouns, that it can’t possibly matter at this point and she definitely giggles. While his fingers trace patterns across her stomach and the side of her waist, dragging lines of blue paint over skin and fabric and she’s not sure when they fall over, just that they’re a tangle of limbs and slightly ripped sheets and— “Do you think I could magic the paint on the walls?” Emma asks, flipping her paint-covered head to her side. Without opening his eyes, Killian mumbles an agreement, his fingers fluttering against hers until they lace between them and she’s only like seventy-four percent positive he does it on purpose.

Concentrating on the twenty-six percent that absolutely knows it’s that same instinct and inherent habit from before, Emma twists her lower lip between her teeth. Feels the first brush of magic, and the small inferno that erupts between her ribs doesn’t actually set her on fire. So, more victories.

And it only takes about twelve seconds.

Give or take.

Blue walls appear around them as if by—well, magic. Not a streak out of place, or mark on the baseboards and Emma’s only a little annoyed that they bothered to move any of the furniture. “Single most impressive thing I’ve ever seen,” Killian mutters. “Your eyes are still closed.” “Aye, but I know it’s happening.” Not letting go of her lip or his hand, Emma’s heart thunders in her chest as soon as she notices the question sitting on her tongue. “When did that start? Because—well, as far as I know you can’t tell in Neverland.” He doesn’t respond. Not immediately, anyway. And that’s only momentarily terrifying, before a slightly different and passably darker shade of blue meets her. “That’s not entirely true. It gets a little confusing, though.” “Don’t offend me like that.”

“I’m not saying you won’t understand,” Killian laughs, “just—the other time travel adventure? Well, that happens rather early in my timeline. And, uh...well, by that point you’re feeling some things and—” “—Kissing as a distraction,” Emma breathes, realization shaking her and this version of the puzzle is equally surprising and wonderful.

“You’re an eavesdrop.” “Piracy excuse.”

He laughs again, kisses her cheek and pulls her closer to his side until nearly all of him is touching all of her and that’s another word much bigger than nice. “As far as I’ve been able to reason it, that sets off a chain of sorts. Magic exists in you, can be felt by me, I don’t entirely remember it—” “—You don’t entirely remember it?” “Making it difficult to tell the story.” Emma rolls her eyes. “Anyway, it’s always been this sort of—presence, I suppose. In the back of my mind, a reminder of something. Good and possible, and it makes it rather easy to tell when you’re agitated, actually.” “Seems like cheating.” “Piracy excuse,” he repeats, and Emma’s mind trips over itself. Falling across line and thoughts and leaving here might be one of the hardest things she’s ever done. Part of her wonders if she knows how, though.

“You know about Neal. Everything that—” Her breath catches, out-of-place tears already threatening to fall, and that’s kind of lame. Killian’s cheek brushes Emma’s. While he nods. “For what it’s worth, your parents do feel bad about the naming legacy one they realize.” “He’s not here.” “No, that would be rather difficult for him. He’s—” “—Dead?” “Honorably,” Killian says, even through the hint of acid and Emma drapes her arm across his stomach. “And he does care about Henry, quite ardently. But...well, I don’t imagine I’ll ever entirely forgive him for everything he did, and it was difficult to rationalize the Bae I knew with he Neal who acted like that.” “Probably weird to be attracted to that, huh?” Chuckling, his lips press against her hair. “Whatever way you’re willing to be attracted to me, is something I wholeheartedly approve of.”

“I’ve got another question.” “Waiting with baited breath.” “You’ve got a ship still, right?”

Tensing the way he does isn’t really the reaction Emma anticipates, although she should probably be ready for anything now, and Killian mumbles, “aye, I do.”

“Could we—I mean, I’m capable of teleporting, right?” “I’ve got no doubt. But it might be cold.” “Good thing you just radiate heat, huh?” His tongue pokes between his lips. Emma’s staring again. Has a hard time stopping, really. Which makes the magic return all the stronger and all the more suddenly, and Killian’s soft hitch of breath is oddly pleasing, even as the smell of salt replaces half-dried paint.

Strictly speaking, Emma hadn’t spent much time exploring the Jolly Roger before they got to Neverland. Portal-based travel, and those mermaids and massive rain storms, all made it difficult to notice much else, and it takes her a moment to realize she’s blinked them into the captain’s cabin.

“Efficient,” Killian observes, already perched on the edge of the room’s lone cot and the bedding looks crisp. Military-grade folds, and pillows that aren’t quite as fluffy as the ones in the house, but Emma’s already glancing at the shelves to her right. Books line them, in what is obviously alphabetical order, while the desk nearby is covered in instruments for navigation, and maps of several different realms, and she knows Killian’s watching her.

Feels the force of his stare as it tries very hard to read her mind again, baited breath that’s not quite as much of a joke anymore. He's hoping. For the response, and the reaction, and she belatedly realizes what a big deal this is.

Falling into the deep end of it all is really the only reasonable thing to do now. And appropriately water-based pun.

“Give me another random fact,” Emma says, failing to keep the demand out of her voice. “Royal decrees are coming much easier for you now, Your Highness.” “Something good.” “I’d hardly give you a bad fact.” “Weird, I’m still waiting for one.”

Stabbing a finger into the space next to him, Emma’s leg bumps Killian’s when she sits down and she’d been right about the body heat. All of the blankets stay exactly where they are. “We go to Boston one weekend, relatively soon after we get married. To—” He clicks his tongue, as if he’s deciding what details to include. “Get some stuff out of your apartment. That’s not the important part. But we bring Henry with us, and drive out there. Spend a few days, and go to all of the tourist spots you say we should avoid, but Hope learned that eye trick from Henry, and it works all the time. So we go to Quincy Market, and that one brewery. Tour guide makes some history jokes, which in turn make you roll your eyes, but we get free samples, and Henry tries very hard to steal one of his own.” “Doesn’t work?” Killian shakes his head. “Not as such, no. I’m rather good at observing, you see.” “All those nights as lookout?” “Something like that,” he agrees, “It’s the first time in a very long time that we don’t have any looming threats. Nothing to worry about, no villains to contend with. We sit and walk and eat, and then eat some more, and it’s not the first time I let myself believe this is real, but it might bet the first time that reality seems to linger.” She’s holding her breath. Lungs burn in Emma’s chest, letting go of a shuddering exhale that also comes with tear-filled eyes, and Killian’s fingers hover near her neck. With the chain around it, and Emma knows it’s important — that ring that hangs just behind her stolen shirt, but she doesn’t ask and she wants to live it, anyway.

Wants those moments to come of their own accord, at their own pace, until they linger as well. Settle into her and take root, building a foundation for everything else.

“Can I do something?” she whispers, another imperceptible nod and he doesn’t object. When she unbuckles the leather at his brace, trying very hard to keep her pulse steady and her magic relatively quiet, but neither one of those things work very well and it doesn’t take very long.

Snaps and pieces of metal give way under Emma’s touch, eventually pulling away from his skin and the scars aren’t worse closer up. Just more obvious, maybe.

It’s another stupid sign.

Following the lines with her fingers, Killian’s not much more than a statue. With exceptionally wide eyes and slightly erratic breathing, watching her like he’s bracing himself for impact or the inevitably of her disappearing. Emma sits. Presses her feet into the floor, and there’s no dust on the floor. She has to swallow more than once while she accounts for every mark on him, though — emotion clogging up her throat and her thoughts in equal measure, and it’s not really instinct to bend her neck and kiss the first spot she can reach, but it’s absolutely want and she wants far more than she’s supposed to have.

Right now, at least.

“Emma,” Killian exhales, without the regret it should hold, and honestly the goddamn symmetry is as good as it is awful. She smiles. Against his skin.

“You said, ‘until I met you.’ Did you mean it?”

Glancing up without moving is another hint of cowardice, but Emma’s neck isn’t all that interested in participating in the conversation anymore and it’s easier to notice the state of Killian’s jaw like this. “More than I realized, actually.” “Yeah, me too probably. If I had said—well, I’m the worst liar in the world, y’know?” “At least several different realms.”

Scoffing, Emma’s teeth graze the blunt edge of his wrist and that only gets her a noise she’s never heard before and it’s better than all the other noises, and she loses her shirt eventually. Nothing else happens.

Still can’t, still won’t. They’re both all too aware of the inability of this to linger, but want’s a funny sort of thing and contentment’s just as strange as ever. Falling asleep with her cheek pressed to his bare chest makes sense, though, the steady rock of the ship lulling Emma until her eyes close and her thoughts silence.

“So, you’re not even trying anymore, huh?” Emma sighs. “Here I thought we’d get through the afternoon without any pointed opinions.” “Well, that was just foolish of you,” Regina shrugs, sitting on the front steps of the farm with her legs stretched out in front of her and that’s almost strange. She’s wearing jeans. No one else is surprised by that. And Mary Margaret is leaning against the door frame behind her.

One arm wrapped around her middle, she doesn’t cross her feet at the ankles like Killian would, and that’s probably for the best. Emma’s brain can only cope with so much at one time, and she might not be trying anymore.

Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.

“You think the wisdom is our problem?” Mary Margaret asks, barely blinking at the sound that erupts from Regina. Snarl and sneer, and Emma rocks back on her heels. Like that will put some distance between her and the queen, who doesn’t appear all that evil anymore, but could be even more determined than ever and they’re still waiting for that goddamn bird to come back.

No one’s mentioned the knights in the forest, either.

Emma’s not sure they’re still there.

“Can’t steal intelligence from the dead,” Regina reasons, and Emma’s shiver doesn’t have anything to do with the cold. It smells like cookies, even outside. “Should that make sense to me?” she asks. Mary Margaret shakes her head.

“Not at all. Just—when Zelena did this...she had a bunch of ingredients.” “She has no idea who Zelena is,” Regina mutters, shrugging at Emma’s slack jawed expression. “Don’t bother telling me you’re standing right there, you’re very predictable and I am painfully aware of your continued presence.”

“Was anyone actually going to tell me who Zelena is?” Emma snaps, a better reaction than the magic she’d like to use. On Regina, and her judgmental face. Tinker Bell went to help in Wonderland. Where magic is failing, more than it was a week earlier.

“The Wicked Witch of the West," Mary Margaret replies. “Was bad, had strong magic, gave up her magic, got it—no, she never got it back, did she?” Regina makes a contrary noise.

“How can you possibly keep track of all of this?”

Mary Margaret’s smile isn’t entirely effective, but there’s still a bit of the friend Emma occasionally worries she’s lost and of all the things breaking the curse did, that’s probably one of her bigger issues. There just hasn’t been time to deal with it. “Living it helps,” she laughs, “but she was holding Rumplestilskin hostage when she built the spell, and that’s—” “—Wait, wait, Gold is dead?” “That’s a little harder to explain, actually.”

“Huh.”

She should be upset. She should mourn...maybe not the jackass who consistently ruined everything, but at least the idea of the person he could have been, or the help he occasionally offered, but Emma’s feeling a little vengeful, and is even more annoyed. By like—the entire state of the world, right now.

She’s definitely not trying. Magic is emotion, and all of hers are far too scrambled to be effective as part of a time travel spell a witch who—“Was she actually green?” Emma asks, before she can stop herself and Mary Margaret’s smile works better that time.

“Occasionally,” Regina drawls. “But as your mother pointed out, she’s also lacking any magic now, and with Robyn in the Wish Realm—” “—That can’t possibly be a real place. And who is Robyn, exactly?”

“You met her. She brought you to—” “—That was a witch’s daughter? You realize that none of the ages for any of these kids makes sense? She was an actual adult.” “Don’t think about it too hard,” Mary Margaret advises, “will only make your head hurt.” “That ship sailed, like, two weeks ago,” Emma admits, refusing to look at whatever face Regina is making while also growling softly. Fire dances between her fingers. “Keep interrupting like this,” she warns, “and I will put you under a sleeping curse.” Jaw dropping and air rushing out of her in a wholly undignified huff, Emma’s reactions are so loud that she hardly notices Mary Margaret’s quiet “that might not be all that bad.” But then it clicks and there’s another puzzle, and more words she should not be thinking about right now, and Regina’s eyes thin enough that it’s difficult to notice any color in them.

“Huh,” she says, echoing Emma and that’s not very comforting, actually. “Well, that’s fascinating isn’t it? Plus, we don’t have any innocence.” Mary Margaret’s shoulders drop. “Oh, yeah that might be right.” Emma’s mouth is already hanging open, and her jaw physically cannot separate, so she can’t quite react like she wants to. Magic rattles around her all the same, Regina’s eyebrows doing a fairly good job of masquerading as someone else’s because— “Back to the drawing board, it seems,” she says, all but jumping back to her feet and glancing at Mary Margaret on her way back into the house.

Moving is something of an impossibility for Emma, torn between embarrassment and objections and the second one isn’t entirely possible either, but her mother only looks passably amused and that’s not the right emotion for this situation at all.

“Sleeping curse could force us into all kinds of realizations,” she reasons.

“That’s fucked up, Mom.”

More titles. More feelings. Not enough time to deal with any of them.

“Yeah,” Mary Margaret agrees, “it kind of is. How much batter do you think the rest of your family has stolen?” “At least an entire cookie sheet’s worth.” “Sounds about right, let’s see if we can cop any of our own.”

“Where is everyone going to sleep?” Emma asks, sitting at a dining room table that’s nearly buckling under the weight of food covering it. “And where did they even get all this stuff from?” Fingers drift over her bent knee under the table, Emma’s hands preoccupied with doling out food and Hope’s a very big fan of mashed potatoes. As she should be, really. Less so by the small feast of vegetables her mother has provided, but certainly not cooked because Emma’s spent most of the afternoon with her mother and Regina, trying to figure out if they could replicate Zelena’s time travel spell, and it didn’t work. Like, at all.

Lack of innocence likely isn’t their biggest problem. “Not everyone stays here,” Killian explains, “although I doubt your mother would mind all that much if they did.”

“Doesn’t explain where they’re going to sleep.” “Are you concerned about privacy, love?” ��Pirate,” she accuses, but it lacks any actual vitriol and someone whistles when Killian’s lips brush hers. “I just don’t want to sleep in the hallway, if there’s no more room at the inn.” “Very confident in your own brand of religion-based humor aren’t you?” “Oh, color me impressed with your knowledge.” “Not many of your jokes evolve much over time, that’s why. And I think you’ve proven your ability to relocate us fairly well, don’t you?” Twisting her lips only gets her a flash of amusement and eyebrows that move so quick, there should also be smoke involved. “As far as I know, Her Royal Highness Snow White has concocted a rather extensive and possibly color-coordinated sleeping arrangement, that ensures no one will be forced to sleep in the hallway, while also allowing for maximum comfort and the ability to ransack parents as early as possible tomorrow morning.”

Something drops into the bottom of her stomach. It’s dread. And fear, and what Emma knows is that growing selfish streak and if her hand finds Hope’s back, then that’s neither here nor there.

Plus, Killian can totally tell.

The overall volume of her magic helps too.

“Mary Margaret’s pretty in her element, huh?” Nodding, he ignores the brussels sprouts in favor of the broccoli casserole, and she’s resolutely not attracted to that. No sane person could be attracted to side dish choices. On Christmas Eve.

It’s Christmas Eve.

“She is, indeed,” Killian agrees, “which is why outsourcing made quite a bit of sense.” Emma’s eyes dart towards Granny, and no one’s introduced her to Ruby’s girlfriend yet, but Ruby also hasn’t announced that she quite obviously knows something about this family gathering is off, and that’s nice enough that pushing the issue seems like another asshole move.

No one can be an asshole on Christmas Eve.

Emma assumes, at least. Hopes a bit too, just for good measure. “Granny made all of this?”

“Eh, certainly tried. Coerced Ruby and Dorothy—” “—No,” she hisses, drawing a few curious glances and half of Hope’s plate is covered in mashed potatoes. Killian’s fingers tighten.

“Someone told you about Zelena, didn’t they?” “I met her daughter without realizing, I guess.” Making a sound of understanding, Emma doesn’t miss the length of Killian’s drink. From the wine glass next to his own mostly-filled plate. “Is that another reason they went to that Wish Realm? So she didn’t have to talk to Dorothy Gale?” “I’m sure it was a consideration.” “Keeping track of all these things is a full-time job. Ok, so—Henry’s staying here though, isn’t he?” More noise, another sip of alcohol that Emma’s strangely jealous of. Nearly knocking her own glass over, her drink is closer to a gulp her dad absolutely notices, and whatever this is, it’s not any wine she’s familiar with.

“Camelot vineyards are enchanted,” David says, answering another question Emma hasn’t actually asked. Ruby’s eyes noticeably flicker towards Henry.

Who is not very subtle.

“Something about the soil, right?” Regina asks, although it certainly sounds like she’s perfectly aware of the reason, and Emma’s less sure as to why her mouth immediately dries. Possibly because Killian’s fingers have gone vice-like.

Glancing at him isn’t very subtle either, but she couldn’t care less and curiosity’s always been a bit of a thing for her. He probably knows that, anyway. “Camelot wasn’t my favorite place,” he explains, like that’s a reasonable string of words, but this isn’t the time for that and the knights are gone. Disappeared entirely, it seems.

“No Arthur, huh?” Silence descends on the table, silverware clanking on plates and chairs scuffing when they’re pushed away from the table. Emma widens her eyes.

Challenging that no asshole on Christmas Eve policy.

“He was kind of a shitty king,” Henry shrugs, Regina glaring in that same maternal sort of way that immediately makes him look far more like a teenager than a grown man with a kid. Emma can’t figure out the timeline of Lucy at all, either.

“Redeemed himself a bit in the end,” Killian adds. “Had no trouble from that particular area.” There should be more to that sentence. Emma knows, can hear it in the clipped way his voice cuts off and his tongue swipes the front of his teeth, and—“Whatever happened to that girl Henry knew in court?” Ruby asks, and they all lack subtlety it seems.

Emma tilts her head. “Henry knew a girl in the court of Camelot?” “Very complex story,” he mumbles, dots of pink on his cheek and Ella laughing at his side.

“Should I be upset I didn’t know about this?” “He used music to woo her,” Mary Margaret adds, some of the tension hovering over them evaporating. Killian’s fingers don’t move. “Although I never entirely understood how the iPod managed to stay charged.” “Magic,” Henry reasons. “And Violet went back to Connecticut, with her dad.”

Groaning, Emma’s reaction to this wine is even stronger than anything she drank in the diner or the buttered rum, and Henry’s face might stay red for the rest of the night. Festive, at least. “A guy from Connecticut?” she asks. “In Camelot?” “Didn’t click for me at first, if that makes you feel better.” “He was too busy flirting, that’s why,” Killian adds.

Henry scowls. “Reminiscing about any of this is not nearly as fun as you guys think it is. Plus,” he slings an arm around Ella’s shoulders, kissing her temple for good measure, “it all worked out in the end, so—” “—So,” Ruby echoes, “did we decide on snowmen rules, or…”

Voices all but explode around them — shouting over one another, in what is another questionably competitive Christmas tradition, and there are apparently judges involved and boxes of decorations that Mary Margaret keeps stored in the basement. Which Emma assumes is a much better use for the space than hoarding weapons, but any thought about her house quickly gets lost in how delicious this food is and how Henry’s arm rarely leaves Ella, and at some point Hope clamors onto Killian’s lap before Lucy starts demanding snowmen and they’ve all turn into giant pushovers, it seems.

“The theme,” Granny announces from her spot on the porch, because she’s head judge, and that holds more weight than anyone else, “is whimsy. Delight me, or you’ll lose points.” “What does that even mean?” Ruby challenges. She’s already rolling snow together, Dorothy’s head barely visible while she digs through one of Mary Margaret’s boxes and produces a pair of plastic fairy wings.

“Why do you own these?” she demands.

It’s difficult to tell if the color on Mary Margaret’s cheeks is a blush, or simply a product of how cold it already is, but none of that matters as much as the inches Henry has on her and how easy it is for his arm to find her shoulders as well. “Like to be prepared for any potential theme, isn’t that right, Gram?” “Not too old for any of the parental figures around here to ground you, you know,” Mary Margaret threatens. As much as she’s able.

David throws a snowball at both of them. “Build your snowman, kid. You’re going to lose, and it will be something else we can reminisce about for holidays to come.”

“C’mon, love,” Killian says, directing Emma to their own patch of snow and overflowing box and Hope’s already discovered the plastic tub of glitter that’s inexplicably in there. “We’ve got a reputation to uphold.” “Do we win this a lot?” “Don't insult me like that.”

He kisses her to ensure she doesn’t. Emma doesn’t argue that.

And as promised, Regina magics everyone’s snow creations to ensure they won’t melt for “at least a month, maybe longer” and the dread in Emma’s stomach threatens to rise up her throat. Until there’s a hand tugging at the side of her jacket, and—

“Can you get him to smile, Mama?” Hope asks, what looks like a slightly lopsided snowman’s bottom behind her and Emma might be the biggest pushover of them all.

Waving her hand is easy, though. And magic’s getting closer to second nature than she’d like to admit, positioning shiny rocks that Mary Margaret inexplicably had into what actually looks like a smile onto another freshly-made mound of snow.

Hope is overjoyed.

Emma tries very hard not to cry.

And fails spectacularly.

Monopoly is an adults-only game. This takes Emma at least forty-two seconds to come to terms with, but then there’s more wine and it’s a miracle they don’t wake up any of the kids, and Killian really does cheat.

She just can’t figure out how.

Bills appear in front of him like he’s the one with magic in this relationship, and Emma’s definitely drunk enough not to care about her word choice. She’s admittedly far more concerned with the houses that keep cropping up on Killian’s properties and how close some of those properties are to forming multiple Monopolys and he grins at her. From across the board.

David made it very clear that couples weren’t allowed to sit next to each other.

For fear of collusion, or something — although Emma can’t imagine there are actually many alliances formed in this game, particularly after the snowmen and the judging and it took Lucy nearly an hour to come down from the understandable high of her win. Hope was more interested in getting glitter everywhere than properly constructing a snowman.

“What was that about revenge?” Emma asks archly, more than a few other alcohol-saturated adults groaning at what is blatantly even more obvious flirting. And he hadn’t been lying about the state of her parent’s tree.

More candles line the branches, not a fire hazard when the flames have been enchanted and that’s for the best because there’s just—a copious amount of tinsel on those same branches, and a few ornaments that are obviously hand-made by kids and grandkids and it’s nice to know that even descendants of fairy tale characters use popsicle sticks in their arts and crafts.

Mary Margaret probably has a box of those too.

“This has nothing to do with the snowmen,” Killian promises, quirking his lips when Ruby lands on Marvin Gardens. He owns Marvin Gardens. “Look at that.” “Are you playing with weighted dice, pirate?” Ruby cries. “Because that is—” “—Cheating,” David finishes.

Killian shrugs. His eyes don’t leave Emma. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. You owe me twenty-four dollars, Lady Lucas.”

She throws the bills at him.

“How would I even use the weighted dice I don’t own anymore—” “—Anymore,” Henry repeats, and he’s only got a few bills left in front of him. Killian ignores him. Emma is far too charmed by this.

She got a Monopoly on the green properties, though. And she didn’t cheat to get them, so she’s also in possession of the moral high ground. Gives her free room to be entirely charmed by her husband. Kind of. “To calculate what you’ll land on,” Killian finishes. “That doesn’t even make sense.

Shaking her head, Ruby’s hair nearly flies into her face, threatening the state of the board and several other player’s pieces. All of whom are very loudly offended by that. “I hate you,” she sneers, and she doesn’t get back to Go before she goes bankrupt.

In the end, the moral high ground doesn’t help Emma’s ability to turn profits when Killian gets the Monopoly on that yellow corner and immediately starts building hotels and she nearly snarls when she lands on Atlantic Avenue.

“I think I might have won, Swan.” “Shut up.” “You don’t have to actually give me all your money, I’m more than pleased to simply hear the words from you.” “Shut up,” Emma says, and her mom fell asleep at least an hour earlier. David rolls his eyes. When she leans across the board, knocking over pieces and hotels, and Killian built so many goddamn hotels. He’s smiling when she kisses him.

Nothing overly magical happens, but Emma swears one of the candles flickers in the corner of her eye.

They do get a room. Directly next to the one Hope and Lucy are sharing, but Emma’s finding it harder than she expected to walk away from the tree and she never had a Christmas tree when she was a kid. Lights start to blur the longer she stares at it, floorboards creaking in an unnecessary announcement of the hand that finds her and— “I put an ornament on, you know,” Killian says, staring ahead when Emma turns towards him. “Was worried you’d notice, but I’m actually rather good at—” “—Sneaking?” “Covert movements.”

Scoffing out a laugh, her head falls to his shoulder. With the magnets and the feelings, magic fighting against dread and a slew of other feelings that are now as twisted as any family tree they could create. “Is it wrong to ask you what you wished for? Or should we talk about why you hate Camelot?” “They go together, actually.” “Do they just?” He kisses her hair. More than once, like he’s grounding himself or reminding himself of something that may not happen if they don’t somehow fix all of this, and Emma’s tongue is doing that thing again. Taking up way too much space in her mouth.

She’s not sure what she’d say, anyway.

“Dying makes it rather easy to shuffle a man’s priorities, and—” “—You die?” Emma shouts, but Killian’s shoulder only bumps her cheek and half the candles flicker. “How is that—God, that’s…” More kisses. A few hand squeezes. Her knees shake all the same.

“Doesn’t stick any of the times.” “It happens more than once.”

His cheek shifts her hair when he nods, a picture of only passably believable calm, and that wasn’t a question. “Something of a stubborn lass, though. So you don’t accept it very often, and occasionally that doesn’t work very well, but—” Tears fall down Emma’s cheeks, hot in the way a brand is, or she figures it would be, and she swallows as his thumb brushes over her skin. “You save me. Several times over.”

“Does calling me lass ever end well for you?” “Not as such, no.” Sticking her lower lip out is definitely a misplaced attempt to regain control of the situation because Emma’s all too aware of just how quickly Killian’s gaze will drop, and she’s not disappointed. A little nervous, but she figures that’s to be expected and her voice only kind of shakes when she whispers, “That’s not just a you thing, you know that, right?” “A me thing, what?” “The saving. Being stubborn too, I guess, or holding onto this with both hands, and this is an us thing. I’m...well, maybe I’m not totally there yet, but—” Her lips are chapped. Cracking with more emotion than she’s entirely sure she’s capable of, and Emma swallows once. Her tongue doesn’t do anything else. “Is that what you wished for? The saving?” “Awfully selfish, I know, but I—I think I need that.” “No, it’s not,” she objects. “Might be sweepingly romantic, even.” Eyes trace over her face, like he’s memorizing all of it, all over again, and innocence was a long gone ideal when they made out in the jungle, but this feels entirely different and somehow more important and Emma has to push up on her toes. To press her lips to his, and make sure his arm pulls her flush against his chest, and there’s no music or rainbow, but that might have something to do with her greed and her want and neither one of them pull away.

While a clock chimes down the hall.

“Merry Christmas, love.” She closes her eyes. “Merry Christmas, Killian.”

Something taps at their window. Incessantly, until it’s obvious Emma’s not dreaming the sound, and it takes her a few blinks and one grumbling, half-asleep pirate to realize it’s a bird. Without a sense of direction, it seems.

“Oh shit,” Emma breathes, pulling the blankets over her shoulders like that will keep them here and the bird outside and that’s an exercise in futility that lasts less than a full minute. Once the bird realizes he’s at the wrong room.

She counts. Seconds and breaths, trying not to give into the whimper that’s pressed behind her lips, and Killian’s fingers find hers. The floor creaks. Doors swing open, and David’s voice calls for them and Regina, and there are more squeaking hinges and calls to action because—

Mary Margaret knocks before she comes inside, already dressed with a full quiver of arrows strapped to her back. “Camelot’s gone,” she says, which may actually be the last thing Emma expects to hear at whatever time it is. Late, if the lack of sun is any sign. “Disappeared in a wave of...nothing.” “How can a wave be nothing?” Emma asks. “That—” “—It’s the opposite of magic,” Regina finishes, curled around the door with her hair twisted and there’s no fire in her palm. It’s in her eyes, instead. The end of reality turns Emma into something of a poet, apparently. “Get ready, we’ve got to head this off before it gets to the town and,” her gaze drifts towards Killian and his hand and his hook his on the bedside table, “might want to get your sword out of storage, Captain.”

Nodding silently, Killian doesn’t show any other signs of acknowledging his marching orders, but then he’s looking at Emma, a mix of expectant disappointment and unhinged longing and she blinks. Twice. They’re dressed.

And his sword hangs from his hip.

“You alright?” he rasps, which seems like more cheating and entirely unfair and Emma nods too.

“Let’s fix this.”

#cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs fic #captain swan fic #but once a year #festive fic a thon 2k20 #things are happening!#they are decidedly emotional!

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eventyrstuff · 4 years

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Every Kdrama I’ve watched under the cut, to keep track and for recommendations.

Warning: Spoilers, few unpopular opinions ahead, please bear in mind: to each their own.

2009

· You’re Beautiful – 16 amusing episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This was the era of female leads pretending to be male (Hana Kimi, Ouran etc), but I still loved it. We follow the story of the female lead (who was a Nun at the beginning) who pretended to be her twin brother and become a part of the country’s current hottest band because her twin had a cosmetic surgery mishap (lol). It’s mostly trying to fit in and try not to get exposed but of course our male lead discovered her true identity thus begin her suffering and second also knows but did not admit it thus begin his unrequited love and comic relief and best character in the series was left in the dark thus begin questioning his sexuality 7/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES. Park Shin Hye is love and Jang Geun Seuk’s smile is freaking adorable. 9/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? JEREMY AND SHINWOO AND JOLIE YES. 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? MOST DEF. I fell in love with PSH’s “Lovely Day” and “ Without Words”, ANJELL’s “Still” and “Promise” though I prefer Lee Hong Ki’s version 8/10 o Would you rewatch? I’ll definitely rewatch, I would love to compare my opinion back in my tween years and opinion now o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Episode 6 – Shin Woo and Mi Nam’s pseudo date (totally heartbreaking for tween me) Episode 11 – supermarket scene was the best, Episode 13 – Cooking scenes was hilarious, every scene with Jeremy, TAE KYUNG AND THE PIG o Words Association: GO MI NAM, Pig-Rabbit, JOLIE!, Fly me to the moon, “hyung, vinegar?” o Yes it has overused plots, common conflicts and family drama but the characters and their dynamics are truly worth watching this and if you need a good laugh (this drama has a looooot of funny scenes), this one is for you. 8/10

2011

· Heartstrings – 15 forgotten episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s a college drama involving modern and traditional Korean music. I honest to God forgot the whole drama, I think there was rivalry between the main leads? 6/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? Not sure, but if it’s Park Shin Hye, I guess so, sorry I’m shit at remembering this drama o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I forgot so I guess not? o Are the OSTs compelling? I am pretty sure it got an amazing Osts with having Park Shin Hye and CN Blue’s Yong Hwa but the only thing I remember was the song “Byeul” or Star and it was sung by the secondary character but it was really catchy o Would you rewatch? Looks like I need to rewatch since I mostly forgot this drama o Will rate once I have rewatched but if you shipped Yong Hwa and Park Shin Hye’s characters in You’re Beautiful, this one is for you.

Then after years of Jdramas, Anime, Mangas, YA books I returned to Kdramaland in…

2018

· Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo – 16 charming episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? College athletes’ coming of age drama, added a dash of love and friendship and dreams. Strong female lead and affectionate male lead, sign me the fuck up. 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I AM EMOTIONALLY INVESTED WITH THE LEADS PERSONAL AND LOVE LIVES. YES. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? YES EVEN THE CAMEOS (Hello Lee Jong Suk who I haven’t watched any of his drama yet at the time and Ji Soo) 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I downloaded 2 of their OSTs (You&I and Dreaming), it was the first Korean songs in my playlist 9/10 o Would you rewatch? Absolutely o Favorite Episode/Scenes: “BOK JOO, WATCH OUT!”, “YOU DIE, I WILL KILL YOU”, Snow kisses, the gang in the amusement park, THAT SCENE WITH JISOO AND JOO HYUK o Word Association: SWAG, Messi, Chicken, Samgyupsal, WHAT, Chubs o I totally recommend to everyone, it has a unique plot, still not over the main lead’s chemistry, you’ll fall in love with the whole story. 10/10

· The Heirs – 20 clichéd episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s your typical rich man poor woman plot, high school setting oozing with alpha males and lots of trope scenes, if only female lead was also an heir or they develop more on her character it will be memorable, I can’t really differentiate with other dramas with the same plot – well except the male lead’s mother is not your typical mother who absolutely hates the female lead 3/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? No, not really more on the secondary characters, both male and female leads are meh 2/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? With the mute mother and FL’s bestfriend and his girlfriend yes, everyone else is forgettable 3/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I only remember “Love is a moment” because it was used by fanmade crack videos on youtube ahahaha 2/10 o Would you rewatch? Probably no. o I guess if you are a big fan of Boys Over Flowers and looking for the same genre this one’s for you, this did not really age well for me, probably would have loved this if I watched back when I was in highschool – reminds me of wattpad days. 3/10

· W: Two Worlds – 16 enthralling episodes (Started 2018 Finished 2020)

o Is the plot interesting? The plot is what compelled me to watch this drama, male lead is a webtoon character created by the female lead but made famous by her father. Male lead does not have your best childhood experiences but became really successful as an adult but there are mysterious instances that put his life on danger, the female lead (doctor) was drawn in on the comic and saved his life, unknowingly her actions changed the course of the story and it reflected on the comic in the real world – this was truly a good concept 9/10 because I actually forgot I started this drama last 2018 then rewatched and finished this 2020, I am still confused. o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? THE CHEMISTRY WAS ON THE ROOF ON THIS ONE. I DIDN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I was actually more focused on the main leads, did not exactly give much attention to other characters 3/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I only liked “Where are you” but it was sung by that guy who was jailed among other things so I don’t know how I feel now. Still the opening was lit o Would you rewatch? Yes, I will try to fully understand what the mechanics or rules of being a webtoon character and being alive in the real world o Favorite Episode/Scenes: KISS IN THE JAIL was the first thing that came to my mind, also real life scenes to comic scenes and vice versa- kudos to the artists, slap and kiss scene, the flashing scene, 4 romantic concepts scene, the adorable scenes recreating the illustration book, the transition when yeon Joo dropped her ring, the hospital bed scene o Words Association: #4, handcuffs, all the winks, sudden “saranghaeyo”, ring, bus stop, “to be continued” o This drama was amazing for the first 10 episodes then became complicated after, I loved the chemistry between the 2 main leads but unfortunately overpowered the whole story – don’t get me wrong I love love stories, but my reaction was the same as those who read the comics – too much cutesy stuff they forgot the storyline, I wanted them to explore the W show, but they focused on filling the plothole for the murderer which created more conflicts and confusing scenes. The line between the comic and real word created plot devices and more questions. This drama has flaws but cool premise though, I hate amnesia plot on any drama but it was well incorporated on this one. 8/10

· Goblin – 16 amazing Episodes (Finished, rewatched 2020)

o Is the plot interesting? A general in Goryeo dynasty got punished by the Gods to be immortal and his sword still in his chest only the Goblin bride can take it off so he can be at peace and die. Immortal lead with a side of grim reaper as best friend, charming female lead with a confident female boss – a story with reincarnation and ghosts, scenes that will tug your heart – yes, one of Kdrama Masterpiece 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? At first no no with the age gap but yes, I say while crying o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? HELL TO THE YES, DEOK HWA, GRAMPS, SECRETARY KIM, HELLO CUTIE TAE HEE, SUNNY AND GRIM REAPER 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL OSTS, particularly “Round and Round”, “I Miss You”, “Stay with Me” and even without lyrics I still worship “When the time stops” aka the music that speaks to your soul 10/10 o Would you rewatch? YES ALREADY DID BRUH WILL DO AGAIN o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every bromance scene, I got hooked by the scene in the first ep where Eun Tak celebrated her birthday with her ghost mother, epic goblin and grim reaper modelling in the highway, everytime sunny flips her hair, grim reaper and his guests in the tea shop o Word Association: Canada, sad love, candles, rain, chicken, tea, car crash *sorry not sorry* o Totally recommended, well-deserved on its popularity. Will make you laugh and cry, at the same time. Acting skillz man. 10/10

· Strong Woman Do Bong Soon – 16 whacky episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? Female lead has super strength which was actually passed down to every woman born in her family, she wants to be a game developer but instead got hired as bodyguard of our male lead who is a ceo of a gaming company 8/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I remember that I did, I was? I need to rewatch haha o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I remembered I did not like Ji soo’s character and don’t really remember other characters… o Are the OSTs compelling? Can’t quite remember so I need to - o Would you rewatch? Yeahp, will do o I’ll do a rewatch before rating

I had a watch list back in 2018, but then I became busy with work and life until…

2020 (Details will be more longer since every Kdrama is still fresh on my mind)

· My ID is Gangnam Beauty – 16 pretty episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? Basically, female lead deems herself ugly and undergone a plastic surgery to fully change her face before attending the university – but a popular guy back in highschool (junior high?) was also attending the same uni and recognized her – it’s a mellow sort of drama tackling Korean beauty and it’s extent, still cute story tho 7/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? We must protect Mi-rae at all cost, Cha Eun Woo’s character is a little bit emotionally constipated but Eun Woo is *swoon* 8/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I am all for Mi-rae’s family and childhood friend, Kyung Seok’s sister, Yoo eun was very notable as well, I love how her character is completely fair and understanding 7/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? “D-day” and “True” is a bop to listen to, everytime I hear “Something” all I remember is Cha Eun Woo’s slow mo glance, other OST is a bop but not enough for me to put on my playlist 6/10 o Would you rewatch? Probably but not right now o Favorite Episode/Scenes: New face dance, bathroom scene with Kyung Seok beating the shit out of their senior, whenever Kyung Seok is annoyed with Soo-A but total heart eyes mode with Mi Rae, Cinema pseudo date – eating popcorn using straws, when he changed the color of his hair, Kyung Seok’s ID when he was a waiter, their high school date, and that last sweet scene in the final episode o Word Association: gangnam, perfume, plastic, umbrella, soju o I wasn’t planning on watching kdramas again after a long time but this quarantine just makes you do things and no regrets at all, MIIGB probably isn’t the best of the best but it definitely made me want to watch more kdramas and lo and behold more kdramas watched in a span of 2 months than in a year back in 2018. I love how it tackles on true beauty and female oppression and how idiotic alpha male trope is 7/10

· While You Were Sleeping – 16 not enough episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? A prosecutor, a reporter and a cop can see the future when they sleep, which helps them in solving cases and do their best to change it. Every case is fascinating makes you say “ohhhhh” when they present their defense and I am like *chef kiss* I love the premise and the supernatural part of the story. 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES. JAE CHAN AND HONG JOO ARE ADORKABLE AND HAS INSANE VISUALS 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? HAVE YOU MET JUNG HAE IN, THE PROSECUTOR TEAM WAS THE BEST. YES. EVEN THE SIDE CHARACTERS ON CASES AND THE VILLAINS 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I usually don’t hear the OSTs while focusing on a scene but boy oh boy, OSTs stole everything, I am obsessed with the whole album. The melody and tune is very captivating everytime you hear it you just want to embed it on your brain. If you are still having second thoughts watching this drama, listen to it’s OSTs the feels they give is the same feels when you watch 1000/10 o Would you rewatch? I’ve watched it again after finishing it so yes, 100% yes, need more episodes still having withdrawal syndrome, still watching fanmade videos on youtube o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every episode lol, the opening sequence, the outro scenes in episode 2 and 3 (with that background music), everytime “It’s you”, “You belong to my world”, “When night falls” and “I love you boy” is the bg music, every Jae Chan and Hong Joo parallel (Episode 2 and 16 particularly), OT3 scenes, the shadow picture, KISS IN THE RAIN, IN THE SAKURA TREE AND THE ALMOST KISS IN THE CAR if I list down all of my fave, I will be writing the whole summary of each episode. Hmmm. o Words Association: Snow hug, sakura kiss, batman and robin, scarf, JUST ICE, choir, seatbelt, samgyupsal, femme fatale, lip balm o I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. ULTIMATE FAVE. I AM BIASED SHUTTUP. JUST WATCH. NONE CAN COMPARE. NUFF SAID. 100000/10 SOMEONE FANGIRL WITH ME

· Pinocchio – 20 important episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This whole drama is about mass media and its major influence on anyone’s life and it is so powerful. We have a male lead whose family has experienced the impact of misguided news and it is painful to watch because this really happens irl at worse, this is due to a reporter which is our female lead’s mother. Now our female lead has Pinocchio Syndrome hence the drama title, she can’t help but hiccup when she lies, it’s very interesting to know why both leads wanted to be a reporter given their situation 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES, I JUST WANNA HUG THEM. Imagine having a condition that forces you to tell the truth, you can’t keep your feelings, privacy or secrets at all and to add an indifferent mother who did not care for your dreams but more on publicity. Imagine having a dream and working hard to reach it but after college you fail every job interview and it’s so realistic I just ashfdsjfha (Except the Pinocchio syndrome part but come on) Imagine experiencing a childhood where you don’t know what happened to your firefighter father, is the news about him running away true because it was his fault all those other firefighters are dead? Imagine your brother doing his best to hold your family together because your mother is on the verge of nervous breakdown to the point of pushing her to choose death, pulling you to a hug and just jump? Imagine this male lead fighting every chance to not love this girl who is the daughter of the reason why his family is gone now and could not leave her because she is also the reason why he decided to fight for the injustice done to his family and to others victims of fake news and they are so supportive of each other. It freaking hurts and I’m sorry I just have a lot of emotions for these two 1000000/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? YEEEEES, GRANDPA AND FATHER, I LOVE THEIR FAMILY DYNAMICS SO MUCH WHEN GRANDPA CRIED I CRIED! EVEN JA MYUNG HYUNG who has not enough episode in THEY DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER NOT JUST FOR ONE EPISODE. EVEN BEOM JU, YOO RAE, NITPICKER JANG, CAPTAIN, BOTH CAPTAINS ACTUALLY, CHAN SOO AND HIS FAMILY EVEN I LOVE TO HATE THE VILLAINS 100/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I was too focused on the intensity of the story but I do love the bg music –“First Love”, “The Only Person”, “Pinocchio” are few notable OSTs 8/10 o Would you rewatch? YES FREAKING YES, I REWATCHED AFTER WATCHING IT o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Episode 16 as a whole, because main lead conflict with each other was resolved and that dinner scene is one I always rewatch, of course episode 1 introduction for Dal Po is freaking hilarious, Episode 2’s “Because I like you” damn feels, snow kiss, all the grandpa scenes and brother scenes, that scene when In ha remembered being drunk, that scene where Dal Po meets his brother again and I just ahjasgdjhsdgf, the intense debate and paralleling it in the seminar, the Christmas episode pyung pyung pyung my heart huhu o Word Association: Six Degrees Separation, rumor, button, MSC/YGN News, traffic cones, hiccups, piggy banks, text messages, family o EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS. I LOVE EVERY PART. IT WAS ON MY WATCHLIST LAST 2018 WHY DID I NOT WATCHED IT THEN. THE ACTING THOUGH YOU JUST FEEL THEIR INTENSE EMOTIONS THROUGH THE SCREEN. FEELS EVERYWHERE. 100000/10

· Romance Is A Bonus Book – 16 heartwarming episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s about romance and books! Lee Jong Suk is on it what more can you ask for? Kidding aside it tells a story of a 30 something mother who to go back to work after 12 years which left a huge gap on her resume, she also got recently divorced and experiencing the repercussion of that, all of the job she applied for has focused on her work gap instead of her skills (which by the way as an HR a very hard truth). She applied as a support role on a publishing company and got hired but by omitting a lot of things on her resume. Oh and her childhood friend, our male lead is actually a co-owner and editor of the company. And he is also in love with her since high school. 9/10 but the fluffiness of the whole series is worth 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES, Dan-I is totally relatable and Eun Ho is lovable. I love their relationship so much they are each other’s home. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? With Hae-rin (COME OOON UNREQUITED LOVE AGAIN WITH LJS CHARACTER?), Seo Joon, President Kim, Manager Seo, and our very own Gangnam Leopard YES. Others not so much. 8/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? The OSTs are feel good, the kind of playlist you want to hear when you read or travelling, point to “Rainbow”, “Walking on Sunshine”, “Happy End”also the heart churning feels when “You’re Beautiful” and “ A Story I couldn’t see” begins playing in the bg 10/10 o Would you rewatch? YES over and over and over again o Favorite Episode/Scenes: The first episode with the wedding visuals, so aesthetic with the running in the highway, the power dance was so out of place but it was adorable, the scene where Dan-I reminisce her married life and it just breaks your heart, the essay part of her application is just motivating and sad, WHEN EUN HO WAS DRUNK AND WENT TO DAN-I’s PLACE BECAUSE HE ALWAYS GO THERE WHEN HE MISSES HER AND I JUST AHGSHJAGDKJGHJ, “If that’s love, I love her then”, GANGNAM LEOPARD CLUB SCENE, the subtle Snow confession (what’s with LJS and Snow???) the long brown overcoats comes out I’m there, when Eun Ho rejected Hae Rin so nicely I cry, movie date, the day Dan-I and Eun Ho spent together at their house, all the book pages at the end of each episode o Words Association: THE MOON IS BEAUTIFUL, noona, power pose, love letters, books, seasons change, cucumber allergy, April 23 o This drama is literally a warm blanket on a rainy day. Recommended if you want a pure love story with almost no conflict and mellow storyline – just the thought of finding love and home in the same person is truly heartwarming. For aspiring writers and book lovers! Love the quotable quotes in it and the warm feels it gives 10/10

· Extraordinary You – 16 extraordinary episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? We follow the story of the extras in a comic book. Get it? EXTRAordinary you, haha okaaaay, anyway, its fictional characters becoming aware that they are fictional characters and trying to change their fates, having a life of their own outside the “stage” and all around creating chaos – breaking the 4th wall if you will. We have your cliché high school filled with rich kids and an elite group called A3 (which was funny bc it was almost mocking F4), then we have the female lead who thought she was the main character of the story but was only the love bridge extra for the main characters. And our beautiful male lead who does not even have a name. Very attention-grabbing 10/10 also just found out the drama was based on a webtoon, so it’s a webtoon inside a webtoon nice. o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? Dan-Oh is a fun character to watch, her range of emotions and the way she acts in and out of the stage deserves a standing ovation, I don’t mind Ro Woon’s visual too haha 9/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? Yes to Lee Do Hwa (Because violin playing cutiepie), Joo Da (girl became aware and finally got claws at the end) and Dried Squid Fairy and Su Hyang (because their history is interesting) , not really into Bae Kyung or Nam Joo (who was 2dimensional character until the end) 8/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I loved all the instrumental background music especially “Highschool Runway”, Also “My Beauty” which was very kdrama-esque ending song 7/10 o Would you rewatch? BIG YES o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every Dan-Oh and Do Hwa’s internal monologue and their bromance, every time Dan Oh breaks character but the page flips, every time she curse and criticize the writer, checking the male population’s back, when Dan-oh opened the umbrella and we got to see Haru’s face *dokidoki*, every reaction when they transition from stage to shadow, I mean kudos to Kim Hye Yoon’s acting from crying to laughing then from head over heels over Bae Kyung then cringing at herself , “It’s Bae Kyung Time”, the scene where Haru and Dan-oh was holding hands and here comes third wheel Do Hwa the way they reacted with Dan Oh’s “Annyeong Lee Do Hwa” made me rofl o Word Association: AYUUU JINJJA, HARUYAAAAA, stage, shadow, page flips, October 10, secret, flower o I love the concept and how it felt like writing fanfiction, you put your favorite characters in alternative universes or different setting and watch them fall in love all over again – in this case destiny also plays a huge part since the writer continuously separate them but they still fall in love with each other outside the stage. It’s fun to see the other side or the fillers whenever characters are not on acting on stage, they have more character depth and development. I definitely love the Sageuk and College AU part. 9/10

· Graceful Family – 16 wild episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s a drama full of Makjang so we are riding on a rollercoaster ride, I am here for all of it gimme gimme that outrageous plot with a dash of crazy family on the side and a group of people who cleans up their messes 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? SEOK HEE IS THE BEST FEMALE LEAD YET FREAKING BADASS BITCH QUEEN. Yoon Do is okay but really overpowered by Seok Hee’s strong personality 10/10 for Seok Hee o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I am very interested in Ms. Han and the Top Team’s deal unfortunately it was not addressed further in the series, wouldn/t mind a mini sequel with them as the main characters, Choi Na Ri and Seo Jin is loooove, and I love Wan Soo with all my heart even after everything that happened 9/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? “Liar” is on my playlist solely for me to feel as badass as Seok Hee and “Black Diamond” because it plays with your emotions 8/10 o Would you rewatch? Solely for all the WTF moments o Favorite Episode/Scenes: ALL THE DINING TABLE SCENES, opening scene in the first episode got me hooked, all Seok Hee scenes made me stay, Wan Soo’s hilarious scenes, that whole hanbok shop scene, whole jail fiasco, when Seok Hee fights head to head with TOP management, PICASSO’S FUNERAL SCENE, Episode 9 when Choi Na Ri moved in, episode 15’s biggest plot twist, Episode 16 and it’s whole 1 hour and 45 minutes of drama o Word Association: Home sweet home, Cannes, Picasso, power vacuum, kingmaker, Auntie o It has a lot of flaws, plotholes and characters you wished was fleshed out but man what an exhilarating ride it was. I love all the dirty secrets in the closets and plot twists (won’t spoil just watch it!) but Seok Hee is definitely the show stealer for me. Soo Hyang’s character here is starkly different with her character in My ID is Gangnam Beauty and it’s really amazing. 9/10

· Hi, Bye Mama – 16 heartbreaking episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This is all about mother’s love and the life she left behind. Our female lead died in an accident and has been a ghost for five years watching over her family especially her daughter, she watched how her family moved on – her husband remarried and her daughter grew up with a different mother. The Gods has given her a chance to live again if she gets back her place within 49 days – this means she get the chance to become human again and finally meet her daughter. 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I AM EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN ALL OF THEM. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? SEO WOO YAAAAAA, Min Jung, her whole family and best friends even the other ghosts and their painful stories YES. 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I was busy crying and could not really hear the bg music because all I hear is my heart breaking a million times. But “Happy” made me happy and sad at the same time and the haunting “Same Town, New Story” instrumental is love o Would you rewatch? I am not sure if I’m ready to cry again o Favorite Episode/Scenes: whole episode 8 is where I broke down crying – I know this whole series is about mother’s and their unconditional love but episode 8 showed fathers and their incomparable love to their daughters and I just asjhdajksd the epilogue in this episode just made me cry nonstop – I am actually crying just remembering that scene, every epilogue will make you ugly cry, every time Seo Woo smiles, Episode 11 and that epic showdown in Kid’s café, when Yu Ri became human again and how happy she was she can hold Seo Woo, every scene with her and Seo Woo bonding, Gang Hwa and the egg, the list of things she wants to do, when Seo Woo finally called her MAMA o Words Association: mother, stepmom, ghosts, “I am happy”, shaman, egg, 49 days o I am emotionally exhausted watching this show, I cried on every episode, this definitely hurt me in every way possible. Highly recommended if you want a good long nonstop cry 10/10

Dramas I did not completely watched sans a few episodes, finished by skipping scenes or reading drama reviews. Warning: total unpopular opinions

2009

· Boys Over Flowers – we all know Hana Yori Dango is superior, I just got bored of recycled scenes and I really don’t like LMH here, sorry

2018

· Scarlet Heart Ryeo - Plot is very interesting but Sageuk dramas are not my cup of tea, reminds me of Fushigi Yuugi which I hated when I was a kid dunno why haha, will look for my motivation to watch the whole drama · Oh My Ghostess – got spoiled, skipped and just read episode summary

2020

· Hello Monster – did not even finish 1st episode, skipped through episode 2 -3, too many plot holes, just read last episode spoilers · Hotel De Luna – finished 7 episodes got distracted by work and life. Plotline is interesting and characters look promising, will rewatch but I already know the spoilers and ending · School 2013 – just read the dramabeans episode reviews, may watch but reminds me of Gokusen concept (which I do love but very repetitive) so may not · Suspicious Partner – I liked the plot but unfortunately did not care too much on the main mystery of the whole show which was who the actual murderer is, did not like the shared childhood trauma, but acting still was good, its just the storyline · Doctor Stranger – I seriously would have loved to finish this because LJS’s acting skills on point (how can he be that seriously angry in North Korea then be clumsy adorkable in South? Howww) but alas, the female lead storyline is cringy I stopped at episode 6, read reviews and it would have been 20 wasted episodes for me · What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim – full of stereotypical tropes I could not finish, too romcom for me and could not invest too much about their history

Watchlist (2020)

· Hospital Playlist · Crash Landing On You · Kill Me, Heal Me · I Am Not A Robot · Sky Castle · Love Alarm

Hit me up with your recommendations, better yet your favorite kdrama and reasons why it’s your fave!

#kdrama #kdrama list #You're Beautiful #Heartstrings #Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo #W: Two Worlds #goblin #strong woman do bong soon #the heirs #my id is gangnam beauty #while you were sleeping #pinocchio #romance is a bonus book #extraordinary you #graceful family #Hi bye mama #eventyrstuff

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writing-reading-inspiring · 4 years

Text

Discovering Truth (Mob!Tom Holland X Reader) - Chapter One

Summary: One can say that (y/n) doesn’t have a normal life. Then again, anyone who’s father is the leader of one of the most feared English mobs probably wouldn’t. One day, her life gets turned upside down when a letter arrives from her uncle stating that she is a target of her father’s rival mob, the Hollands.

Chapter One ~ Chapter Two

I’ve always understood that I wasn’t a typical teenager. I mean, I’ve been exposed to that idea since I was a 7 year old girl shooting a glock 17 at a moving target during my father's “protection training”. I feel like a part of me even understood that when I was waking up to the blaring of an ambulance and the sharp beep of a heart monitor when I was 4. My life is complicated and simple at the same time, which isn’t just confusing, but really sucks.

To understand how I ended up here, I have to tell you about my family and what I know of my past. My father is Harold Chimaera, leader of one of the most feared English mobs. My mother was his wife, Eleanor Chimaera. She was an amazing wife and an even more amazing mother, at least from what I can remember. My father sent her away to Corinth, Maine when she was pregnant with my brother, Scott, and me in order to keep her safe from any harm that could befall us. Sadly it wasn’t his enemies that hurt us, but a truck driver on Mccard Road who had a bit too much Bourbon to drink. My mother and twin brother died that cold winter’s night.

When my father found out, he immediately came to the United States to bring me home to London. From there, he moved most of his operation to Cambridge, a place where he can keep me safe from accidents and anyone who would want to harm us.

I was drawn out of my thoughts by a light knock on the door frame. The gruff voice of my father's right hand man, Abel, followed after it.

“Ms. Chimaera, you’re father requests your presence in the living room.” He adjusted his black suit jacket and scratched at his 5 o’clock shadow that he seems to have forgotten to shave.

“Of course Abel,” I curtly replied. “I’ll be right down. Just give me a minute to put my easel away.”

He nodded towards me before disappearing from my view. I got up and looked at the blank canvas that was taunting me. I’ve been unable to draw for the last 2 weeks and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. I’ve already painted the roses in the garden, the birds in the aviary, the butterflies that flutter just outside the windows, and even the creek that runs next to the house.

My home may be considered luxurious in it’s grand stature, pristine marble floors, exquisite design, and exotic fauna; however, it lacks inspiration for me at this point. After 15 years, things start to seem boring and you start to get claustrophobic, even if you have a generous amount of room to move around.

Being caged and unable to leave the grounds of my father's estate may keep me safe, but it stops me from being alive; I’m only existing. I know I’m luckier than most, and I’m grateful for it, but I can’t help how I feel.

I begin to put away my painting materials before heading through the door of my art room.

My father gave no worry to buying me whatever I wanted. This would explain the highly functioning studio I have next to my room, the stocked kitchen that holds any ingredient I could imagine using, and the $800 camera I have in a hard case on my dresser in my bedroom.

The walk from upstairs to the living room is brief due to my father wanting me to be able to escape as quickly as possible if needed.

“(y/n)! There you are. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your thoughts on how I should get Mulligan to back off of our exports. But first of all, have you painted anything new for me to hang in the gallery?” My father got up from the couch and walked to the staircase while speaking to me.

His question caused goosebumps on my arms. He has been asking me for a new painting everyday after I told him I had nothing to work from.

“I haven’t been able to paint anything new yet, but I’m thinking about painting the garden again, except this time it would be in the morning,” I replied to him while looking down.

“That sounds absolutely wonderful, my dear. Now, about that plan of yours. I enjoy the part about messing with Mulligan’s investigation, but why exactly do you think he would go after another mob all of the sudden,” my father inquired.

You see, my father has been trying to prepare me for when I take over the mob when I’m older. At least that’s what he tells me. Personally, I believe he’s trying to make sure I’m smart enough to take care of myself if I need to. Nevertheless, I put my input in on subjects such as how to increase profits and how to get nosy detective’s off our scent.

“Dad, Mulligan has been chasing us for years, which means there’s a low chance that he has been doing other cases. His chief must be pretty mad at him for ignoring his other duties. Giving ‘evidence’ that can bring down another mob permanently would put him in good graces with his boss. He would be an idiot if he doesn’t take the bait,” I explained to him.

“That’s my smart girl.” He came over to give me a hug.

When he pulled away he spoke again, “Oh, I almost forgot. Rosetta put together the mail and apparently there are quite a few pieces for you. How many colleges did you apply to?”

“Maybe about 15. I wanted options,” I said.

This wasn’t technically a lie, but it also wasn’t technically the complete truth. I wanted a good amount of options, yes, but I also wanted to be able to get as far away as I can. Not because I hate my life, but because I want to feel free.

“Sweetheart, I can get you into any school you want with one phone call, so why did you need options?”

“I wanted to get in on my own, and I’m sure I did with my markings.”

“Of course you did, darling.” He checked his watch and a pained look came to his face. “I hate to do this sweetie, but I have a meeting in five minutes. The mail should be in your room. Tell you what, how about we have a movie night tonight? Say 8 o’clock?”

“Sounds perfect. Now, don’t be late to your meeting because of me. I’ll see you tonight. Love you.”

“I love you too.” With that, he departed from the living room towards the north side of the estate, which is where his conference room is.”

I made my way back upstairs to my bedroom. I might as well see what letters I was able to get today.

You see, the mail that we receive is gone through and assorted at another location in case of dangerous substances or tricks. It’s also a way for my father to see who was trying to contact me via mail (he already has my computer's searched and monitored 24 hours).

Once I get to my bedroom, I immediately spotted my mail placed on my mahogany desk as it is every day. I grabbed the stack and sat against the headboard of my bed, having to push myself back a couple of times due to its size.

University of Oxford ... accepted.

University of Cambridge ... accepted.

University of York ... accepted.

Université de la Sorbonne ... accepté.

Harvard University ... accepted.

Letter from Elijah Wilson ... that’s a new one.

I immediately push the other packages aside and look at the small white envelope that managed to get to my room. I’ve never had mail from a person I’ve never heard of, especially one bearing my mother's maiden name.

The mail crew must have not seen this because it wasn’t already opened. Slowly pulling apart the unopened seal, I pulled the crisp, white paper out of its sleeve.

Dear (y/n),

Hey kiddo, it’s your Uncle Elijah again. I don’t know if you’ve even been getting these letters, but that doesn’t matter. I still have hope that I’ll be able to see you again. You must be about 19 now, right? Last time I saw you, you weren’t even to my knee, but you had tremendous spunk for a 4 year old. If you’re anything like you were when you were little or anything like your mother, I believe that you’d get along great with my daughter, Elizabeth. I’m sure you’re living a great life in Cambridge with your dad, but I really do need to see you, sweetie. I understand that talking about what happened with your mother and brother must be a difficult thing to do. I could hardly speak about it for at least two years, but it’s been 15 now. Not only do we miss you in Maine, but we want to try to help you as much as possible too. I’m sure your father has some of the greatest protection set up just for you, but even Fort Knox has breeches in their security system. I’m sure he already knows about the Hollands trying to get to you, but I’m just worried that you won’t be ready for when they do come. Though I hate to say it, there offense has gotten stronger and they had corrupted more mobs that I can count. There are probably enemies that you think are allies coming in and out without any strain. These men have already killed Eleanor and Scott, I don't want to see them kill you too. I know coming to Maine didn’t work that well last time, but we’ve grown since then, we’re more prepared. Please come, or at least respond so I know that you’re safe.

With love and the best intentions,

Uncle Elijah

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 4 years

Text

with all my thoughts and all my faults

Happy birthday to @somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds!!! I’m lucky to share my birthday with another amazing creator (if you haven’t read her stuff, go do it now and review it because she deserves it!). I hope you enjoy this fluff after last night’s....everything.

AO3

It started out as drinks at first. A beer and a shot of whiskey each at Gary’s apartment as thanks for helping him and Ava get to the Waverider. John was never one to turn down free alcohol when it was offered. Besides, Gary seemed to be a pretty decent guy. A little naïve and shy, but he was brilliant thinking up that plan to track down Sara. It was also a bonus that he happened to be cute in an attractive, office drone sort of way.

Then came the knock at the door, and Gary nearly spit out his beer. “Oh jeez!”

“Expecting a guest?” John inquired, ready to cut and run down the fire escape if necessary. It wouldn’t be his first time.

“Uh, guests actually,” Gary coughed, pulling his Bureau pin off his jacket and shoving it in a drawer. “I agreed to host my D&D group here tonight. I totally forgot to get everything set up. Ava called me in to help find the Waverider and then we ended up at your place and then I asked about the beer and now I’m screwed.”

He looked like he was about to start hyperventilating, but John stood up and placed his hands on his shoulders. Slowly, Gary’s breathing start to slow down as a second knock came on the door.

“You with me, squire?” John asked.

Gary nodded.

“I can help you set up what you need. Hell, I’ll even stick around.”

The Time Bureau agent looked at him with his big brown eyes. “You’d stay? I mean, you don’t have to. And there’s no need for you to help set up. I should have done that after work before Ava called me back in.”

John chuckled. “I don’t mind staying if you’ll have me. I’ve always been curious about the game.”

That set Gary off blushing. “I’m happy to show you the ropes. And I have a spare set of dice you can use for tonight.”

“Sounds like a date. Go get the door for your friends, I’ll start getting things set up.”

Gary nodded, stumbling as he hurried over to the door to let his guests in. John found a bunch of candles stashed in a cabinet and started to light them while Gary apologized for not being ready and that they’d have another player joining them tonight. Thankfully, his group seemed to be pretty forgiving and accommodating to him. If anything, they seemed happy to have another person around in their little circle of nerds.

After deciding on his character and rolling the dice for his stats, John started to pick up on the game quick. It also helped that Gary and the other members of the group were happy to explain things along the way. During the game, John played a few parlor tricks with the group. A breeze too cool to be the air conditioning. A creaking noise above them. Something hitting the window just before the party faced something menacing. They all ate it up while Gary shared a knowing smile with him.

Within a few hours, they’d reached a stopping point in the campaign. Gary’s guests said their goodbyes and left. John stayed to tidy the mess with Gary. At some point, their hands brushed together while grabbing for the same pillow and all thoughts of cleaning up fell away. Gary moved first this time, pressing his lips against John’s. John didn’t make any move to stop him or himself from letting hands roam to pull off their coats (or cloak in Gary’s case) as they stumbled towards Gary’s bedroom.

The next morning, John woke up with his head resting in Gary’s shoulder. He could have run like he had done so many times to so many different lovers. This time, he didn’t.

~~~

A unicorn bit his nipple off.

Gary was still shaken from everything that had gone down in the past couple hours. He had expected another mundane day at the Time Bureau filled with filing and longing for the weekend to go work with John. Instead, John had strolled in and found him, Sara on his heels. They’d asked him to come help with a mission to lure out a unicorn. Apparently, unicorns really were drawn to virgins, which he did not realize he still was.

He also didn’t realize that unicorns were not the happy creatures that were painted in children’s fairytales. This one was a monstrous, terrifying beasts who looked ready to gobble him up. Gary had nearly been dragged though John’s portal to Hell with it before the Legends pulled him back in time. But it didn’t stop the unicorn from taking a piece of him with it. He didn’t even realize it until it was pointed out to him and shock gave way to pain.

But John had been there, an arm around his shoulder. He had told Gary that his soul was heading there, that his nipple had just beaten it there first. Together, they walked back to the Waverider and to the med bay. Gideon probably could have healed the bleeding patch of skin where his nipple had once been, except John didn’t let her. He got out some supplies from a drawer after some rummaging and patched Gary up himself.

“It’s the least I can do,” John told him, taping the gauze pad over the wound. “You were great out there, squire.”

Gary smiled. “That might have been the most terrifying moment of my life.”

“And here I thought that was when you faced the dragon.”

“I nearly didn’t get dragged to Hell by a dragon.”

It came out worse than he meant it, but John still froze, a second piece of tape dangling from his finger.

Gary gulped. “That…didn’t come out right.”

John shook his head. “No, you’re right. I set you up and I could have lost you. But I would never let you be dragged down to Hell, okay? I can’t…”

He trailed off and Gary knew he was lost in some broken memory of where that had happened. Reaching out, he took the piece of tape and put it on the other end of the gauze pad. Then he shrugged on his shirt and climbed off the seat. John didn’t even get a chance to protest before Gary wrapped his arms around him.

“Gary-”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he told him.

Something felt wet on his shoulder. John’s arms shifted to hug him back after a few more moments. Together, they stood just like that. Just taking comfort in the other being there right now. As soon as they let go, it would be over. Gary wasn’t sure he wanted to let go and John’s fingers digging into his shoulder blades made him wonder if he felt the same.

“I don’t want to ruin you, Gary,” he whispered in his ear. “I don’t want to break you.”

Gary wasn’t sure how to respond to that. How could you tell someone who made you whole that you’d already been broken?

~~~

Neron was gone, Ray was back, and the world have been saved through James Taylor. John felt for the first time like he could breath in months. For so long, he had been running from the demon, dragging the Legends into his fight and hurting them along the way. Now it was time to go back to the pattern he’d fallen in before this particular strain of madness. A travelling exorcist, wandering from place to place to offer his services.

Gary had found him sulking in the library about leaving the Legends behind and joined him. He had come to apologize properly to him for his role in everything. John listened to every word the Time Bureau agent told him and saw that he truly regretted what he’d done. So much rejection and disregard had broken him, and John knew he had been the straw to break the camel’s back. It was exactly the thing he feared of doing, why he’d broken things off before it happened. Yet he had been the very reason it came to pass.

“I told you I didn’t want to ruin you,” John murmured once Gary had finished his long apology. “I’m sorry I broke you.”

Gary shook his head. “I was already broken long before you, Conny.”

Despite the heavy words, the nickname brought a smile to John’s face. They spent the rest of the night, talking about everything and nothing. Gary admitted he didn’t know how to break his connection with Nora, that it wasn’t fair she was bound to him. John had told him Nora needed to fulfill his greatest desire and she would be released.

“It wouldn’t be fair though. I want to be close to you, but that’s not right.”

“You’re talking to the man who’s found more loopholes than he’s cared to count. What if…you became my apprentice?”

“Apprentice?”

“Wish for that. You told me once you wanted to learn magic. I can teach you and you get to be close to me.”

“Decided if I’m really worth your time once and for all,” echoed in his head as Gary’s face broke out into a smile.

The wish was made a few days later, and Nora made Gary his apprentice. John offered to find a way to release her from the curse she’d become trapped it, but she refused because she’d grown to love working with children. She encouraged him to just go and make sure to not break Gary’s heart again. So John brought Gary with him on his travels and taught him the art of magic. Gary had the knowledge, but his execution needed the most work.

They had their fights and squabbles but made up in the end. Together, they traveled around the country, saving people from demons and other nasty things. At one point, they took a day to go scavenge for mushrooms that could be used for different spells in a forest. Gary had made the same mistake John had when he was first learning about the collection process. Both had inhaled the spores and started feeling fuzzy and warm before their minds stopped processing what had happened.

When John came to, the sun was setting, Gary was waking up on his chest, and both were wearing significantly less clothing than they had before inhaling the spores.

“I’m sorry about that,” Gary apologized as they started picking up their clothing. “I really screwed that up.”

“Eh, not the worst way I’ve woken up,” John said as he threw on Gary’s shirt while Gary wrapped himself up in his trench coat.

If anything, it was in the top five best ways he had woken up.

~~~

The moment Gary realized that John had drunk poison on purpose nearly made his heart stop. In the hours since John had collapsed and Gideon had given the terminal diagnosis, Gary had felt the clock hanging above both their heads. He remembered the months leading up to losing his mother, an incredible burden on such a small child. But knowing he barely had a day with John felt worse because there was so little time.

He’d done everything that he could. They’d tried Gideon and spells and Nora, but nothing had been successful. John kept on coughing up blood and becoming even more sickly. Gary had wanted to save him and fought to do it, but John had snapped at him and Ray. He drowned his sorrows in wine, hoping that it would numb the pain of the inevitable. Instead, it made everything hurt even more.

As John dropped to the table, Gary had so desperately wanted him to lift his head back up and laugh, like it was all a stupid joke. When he didn’t, he started sobbing as Ray gaped in horror at John’s actions. The house and everything in it that John had left him was not what Gary wanted. He just wanted John back, for this stupid magic to reverse itself and bring back the man he loved.

“John…” he sniffled, reaching his hand out to close over the other man’s.

Ray shook his head, his own eyes starting to become red. “He’s gone, Gary.”

“No,” Gary shook his head, feeling so much like the little boy who had cried himself to sleep for weeks after he found out his mom was gone forever. “Ray, he can’t be.”

He took John’s hand in his own and got on his knees. The limb was already starting to feel chilly, or was that his mind overreacting?

“Come back to me,” he pleaded. “Please, please, come back to me, John.”

“Gary, let him go,” Ray extracted John’s hand from his. “It hurts more when you hold on. Trust me on that.”

Gary got back on his feet. “What do we do now?”

The next few moments blurred together when he looked back on them in the future, but he was pretty sure Ray had been talking. Then John miraculously sat up with a gasp, scaring the hell of them. Astra had reconsidered and given him more time, taking the cancer away from his body. He looked so happy, hugging Ray, running around the room with the cane he’d relied on earlier, and then…his hands were on Gary’s shoulders. He had kissed him soundly before wondering why he’d been about to leave his house to Gary.

Gary didn’t mind the sting of it. John was back. He had come back to him and that was all that mattered.

Ray went to go and out away the leftovers a little later. It had just been him and John together in the dining room. Neither of them said a word to each other for a minute, the silence filled by the opening and closing of cabinet doors from the kitchen. Then John had reached out and taken Gary’s hand, interlacing his fingers with Gary’s. Gary remembered holding that same hand minutes ago and how cold it had felt when its warmth now bled into his own palm.

“I felt it down there,” was all John said. “I know it was yours.”

Gary rubbed under his glasses with his free hand, wiping away the tears that threatened to spill over again. “I really hated that this happened.”

“I’m back now, Gary,” John squeezed his hand. “I’m not going out again. You don’t have to cry over me anymore.”

He nodded, wishing he had a tissue nearby. “Okay, I’ve been crying so much today and now I’m exhausted after everything.”

“Then let’s go to bed.”

Gary felt guilty about letting Ray clean up the mess, but the scientist called that they could go since he’d made most of the dinner. John lead him up the stairs to the bedroom. The two of them just laid with each other, hands still connected. Gary shuffled over so he could hear the steady beat of John’s heart. Each thump was a reassurance that John was still there. That he was still alive after everything they had both gone through that day.

Gary didn’t know that John had his finger on his pulse and was using it as an anchor for his turbulent mind. A reminder for him that he had survived this latest ordeal and he wasn’t truly dead. Hell was not that through.

~~~

John trusted the girls to leave his house in shambles when he agreed to let them use it as a front for the sorority. He could have stuck around, but Nate was already on the hunt for the chalice. Mick had dipped out to go accompany his daughter on a college tour. There wasn’t much else to go. Thankfully, he already had a prior engagement.

Once he reached the building Gary told him he’d be waiting by, he could see him sitting on a bench, staring off into space. “I’m not late, am I?”

The question caught Gary by surprise as he startled and looked towards John. “You came?”

“You really thought I was going to stand you up?” John teased.

“I mean, I let a hellhound onto the ship and it nearly got you and Ava and Mick killed.”

John waved it away. “They survived it, it’s back in Hell, no one got their throat ripped out. Now, what were you thinking for tonight?”

“Well, all the bars are crowded this weekend from what I’ve seen,” Gary told him. “But I was looking on TripAdvisor and there’s this Malaysian place off campus that gets really good reviews. If you don’t want that, there’s a bunch of other places we can go to instead.”

“Honestly, I’m happy wherever you want to go.”

They ended up taking their time, walking through the campus and past students who were coming out of late classes or running to the library. John had never been to college and had been fine without it. But it was nice to hear Gary recall some happier stories about his time in undergrad on their way. He hadn’t gone to Hudson, but he had visited it when deciding on where he wanted to go to school.

The Malaysian place wasn’t crowded, but there were enough people inside to convince them it was a decent place for food. They spent so long inside at their table, talking just like they had after Heyworld. John knew as soon as the ladies had the chalice, this moment would be over, and they’d have to get back to bringing back Behrad and Natalie. But right now, he could just relax in the booth with Gary across from him, munching on hawker rolls and laksa, and ever so briefly imagine a life without worries about looms or Fates.

There was still no word from the Legends when they finally paid and left the restaurant. So they walked down the streets some more before coming back to the campus. Gary had picked up a pamphlet from somewhere that mentioned things to do on the campus, one of which was stargazing. There was a hill that was supposedly good for looking up at the night sky and picking out constellations.

It wasn’t so easy navigating the campus in the night, but they made it to the hill in the end. Lying down in the damp grass side by side, John stared up at the night sky with Gary. A cool breeze ran over the both of them, making John thankful he had his coat. Thankfully, the clouds were sparse that night and the stars could be seen even with the lights of the lamps at the base of the hill.

They searched for constellations in the sky, pointing out the ones they could see. Gary knew most of the names, but none of the stories. John was happy to share them all with him as Gary’s hand reached over and took his. He interlaced their fingers, just like John had done ages ago. Everything felt perfect, but perfect couldn’t last forever. It never did with him. Sooner or later, it would crumble away. But right now, John could bottle this moment in his mind and look back at it to remember a time of happiness.

Even if he wanted more, right now was more than enough of what he deserved.

#somebodyhelpthenotdeadfreds #legends of tomorrow #constangreen #gary green #john constantine #fanfiction #fluff #happy birthday

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steve0discusses · 4 years

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Yugioh S4 Ep 17: Just Throw em on the Murder Pile

Ah, week one of the Stay-at-Home mandate. After a week of getting so little work done, I decided to get Animal crossing so I could get away from the people I live with to our own little virtual islands. So, I spent my time, fishing so many fishes and bugs for the the museum that wasn’t open yet, placing them all over the island so I could use them later. Went to bed having done all this wonderful work, my masterpiece, my beautiful island.

The next day I woke up an hour later than my brother, who spent that time logging into Animal Crossing, not realizing he was sharing an island with me (for some reason you only get one island per switch, which was a decision they made???) and he was like “the hell are all these fish everywhere?” So he sold all of them, made himself an Oricalchos shirt and a Yami third eye in the fashion editor, and then used all my fish money to buy so many oil drums and put them all over the trash side of his island.

I was asleep one hour. One single hour. It is all trash oil drums and fire and a poorly drawn Oricalchos t-shirt.

Ah, the irony when you get a game to escape the people you live with only to realize that you share the location of the game itself--with those same people. The irony.

So anyways, we found out that our efforts were futile anyway, long story short we sort of...soft locked this children’s game, and had to restart the entire island. lol.

So while I recover from that shock, lets talk about Yugioh.

They’re still on the Caltrain and Yami is still appearing to have a lot of difficulty remembering how to use cards without Yugi. But, we find out at the end of the episode, he’s mostly just pretending to have difficulty. We’ll get to why this bluff is so mind boggling later--Yami just has a lot of weird layers to him, and most are just so...so lovingly stupid.

Anyway, Timaeus doesn’t work with him now, but honestly it wasn’t clear why Timaeus ever did in the first place since Yami is both two people and a dead person at the same time. Yami shouldn’t exist.

This doesn’t matter in the end, because Yami is good at cards when he isn’t actively trying to get cursed to give himself a handicap like he did with Raphael.

Unlike Yami, Joey decides to reflect upon the moral consequences of Hella Killing a Guy, which youknow...should mess you up a little bit.

But obvi, Rex has to die for the plot to move forward, so RIP.

(more RIP under the cut)

Yugioh made sure to give Rex a big send off that took waaaaay longer than Gurimo, just saying.

Lololololol

Just two u’s, sleeping so pleasantly.

And I’m just guessing, ps, but I feel like it’s a good guess. I feel like this wasn’t like this in the original.

Back at the train that should be crossing the ocean at this point, Weevil has pulled out some misdirection. Knowing that Yami has been misdirecting Weevil this entire time, it is just so baffling that he’d totally fall for this.

If someone did this to Seto Kaiba--that I would believe, instantly. But to Yami? OK there, Yami.

Mind you, Yami is grieving, and he’s not mentally all there in both the literal sense and in the mental sense, but wow, Yami. You fell for that.

Yami has lost his entire mind and is just kind of winging it until he gets arrested.

He has no reason to be better than this. He’s like “FML. I’m gonna go ape, I don’t freakin care”

Like, Yami has this anger problem, which the show has said out loud a few times this season, but we haven’t really seen too often in previous seasons to a great degree. So we have to give him some places where he can demonstrate getting super pissed, to make up for the fact that Yami’s character developed has mostly been about “I’m too lonely and cursed to make friends, Yugi.” and “I’m DEAD, Yugi, I don’t want to learn about my history.” and “Gods why are you always making problems for me to solve for you, Kaiba?”

Not saying he hasn’t been mad and vengeful before this moment, but he hasn’t been as explosive before this season--it’s always been a chill anger, a quietly menacing kind of crazy, youknow? But...characters change. Yami’s developed to be different now and that’s fine. Being pissed someone killed your soul bud that you share a body with, I feel, is a natural thing to be pissed about.

But, Yami is permanently in a state of anger and brooding since Yugi left, despite being pretty chill for most of the past 4 seasons. It’s like the first time we get to experience Yami be Just Yami since the beginning of Season 1 and it’s a completely different Yami anyway.

I guess this is to point out that they really did rely on the other to complete their personality. Which is weird, but that is a thing you do with people that you’re spend a ton of time with--you kind of forget how to do things solo.

Like there was this interesting study where they took married people and asked them simple grade school questions, and they answered them fine when they were together in the same room. But, when they were separated--they suddenly would blank on random stuff. They couldn't remember capitals or multiplication tables--simple stuff. But people who were single, were able to do these things fine alone or with a friend.

People who spend a hell ton of time together learn to help eachother answer the questions as a team, and the parts of the brain you use to like...memorize capitals and multiplication might decay because there’s someone else who will just always do it for you.

So anyway, the takeaway I get from this is that the part of Yami and Yugi that could read if Weevil is lying was Yugi and that’s a lot to take in. Yugi might be smarter than Yami? Weird. Low bar, but weird.

So, Yami won’t need to justify to himself like Joey, he’s just gonna kill this guy outright. Immediately. There was some card shenanigans, and I guess he had the opportunity to beat him even further after he was dead? I didn’t fully pay attention to the card logic but it was so brutal that Tea had to get involved.

She was quicker to save even S1 Seto Kaiba, just throwing that out there. Tea was like “I’ll step in between you two, but I’ll be run really slow about it.”

I think she was more worried about Yami going dark than Weevil who’s...already dead. And again, you don't have to worry about Yami going dark. I say it a lot but he’s a dark wizard. This is kind of his zone.

And then, they actually touched for the first time in like--kind of a lot of episodes. I kind of forgot about this ship.

How come when she’s wrestling him it looks more like a hug than the few times they’ve hugged? These writers, man. They’re just...so close to figuring out how to write a ship but just so, so far away.

I just want to remind y’all that the Oricalchos broke Valon’s arm but Tea and Tristan just walked away because they’re that hulk IRL.

I just love that Yugi is so short that Tea has to be on a ladder below him in order to have this pose happen.

After that awkward moment that Yami lost his entire mind and killed a guy, he had another weird moment where he just...looked down at his hands and was like “I’m the real monster?????”

He didn’t think about the moral consequences until AFTER he killed Weevil. And honestly, that feels a lot more like the Yami I know. That was maybe the most Yami thing he did this episode. Reminder, they got into this train duel while trying to stop a runaway train, and they did nothing about that.

So anyway, how’s this train going?

(San Jose has over one million residents but don’t tell Yugioh.)

And then, sadly, I had to say goodbye to my penultimate favorite character in Yugioh, second only to the storyboarder. Goodbye, forever.

At least the death sequence for the Caltrain seemed appropriately long, as it should be. Rex’s went ON but the Caltrain? Lets get that slowmo pan for it. Goodbye, first train in Yugioh (that wasn’t shaped like a dragon.)

And I just figured it was Darts who did this, but apparently Darts was just as upset as I was when he saw that train derail and then soar 500 feet above the track like a figure skater.

Y’ALL

First off congrats to Darts’ fluffy as hell lower eyelash extensions, I’m lowkey jealous.

Second off, every year on the ballot we get a measure that wants to funnel money into the Caltrain. Every single year. It almost never passes, and when it does, the money sort of vanishes into the aether. It’s really annoying.

To think that THIS ineptitude is what helped Darts loose track of Yami and I’m going to assume save the whole damn world.

I can’t believe the auto lobby and the corrupt Caltrain management just saved the world like that.

I can’t believe that’s Canon to Yugioh.

My expression when I found out that after we just mercifully cut the cast by two, they decided to stick in this new guy?

Ugh a new guy.

So Yugi and Tea do say at the end “you ok?” “yeah” so it’s nice that Tea can survive a train crash off a cliff into a ditch. Tea, and this reincarnated ghost. God tier.

Anyway if you just got here, this is a link to read these in order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I feel like I say every week “ah, I finally have time to catch up” but I still post at exactly the same rate anyway but...I guess we’ll see, huh?

#ygo #yugioh #Yu-Gi-Oh #Yugi Muto #Yami muto #Tea gardner #joey wheeler #rex raptor #Weevil underwood #Darts #very sorry to the Dart enthusiasts who just want to talk about the game darts #caltrain #Wow caltrain I'll miss you #This episode is Yami acting like a crazy person for like half the time and I'm all for it #S4 #Ep17

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zhanxixis · 5 years

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I don't know if you know kpop but if you were to put the boys of 19 days in a kpop group what headcanons do you have for them? Positions? I love you 💗

(´♡‿♡`) hello, first of all that ‘I love you’ warmed my heart more than you can imagine and I probably wouldn’t be able to convey my gratitude for your kindness no matter how much I tried. now to answer your question… unfortunately I know literally nothing about kpop besides the fact that its korean pop. I once watched a compilation video of some funny moments between kpop stars but I don’t have enough knowledge on what positions there are for kpop or how that industry works, the training etc. so I don’t think I will be able to answer this and for that I apologize immensely.

however, I don’t want to leave you completely hanging — so, since I had another message in my ask box to which I believe is slightly similar to your own question, maybe you would be interested to know what I think regarding this as well since it also has to do with music/roles. I hope this will be able to make up for that.

question from this anon in short is: what do you think their band roles are?

the post they are mentioning that I reblogged is this one in case anyone is wondering. I agree it is strange that some people believe if someone already has an instrument to play it means they cannot be the vocalist, its a very false thing to believe; but maybe they just don’t know or forgot thats not really how bands work most of the time. in fact the majority of singers in bands do, do more than only singing and often play an extra instrument; its actually less common for vocalists to only sing in a rock band.

now to get to actually answering the questions, I think the official artwork which straight up show what they play, as well as hints, and their personalities help to give away what roles they have in the rock band illustrations old xian has drawn. to help explain, I think the positions they have will be similar to how it is in the story ‘given’ by kizu natsuki (which if you haven’t read yet, go read it now, its amazing. mafuyama are my otp, I’ve been reading it for years). you can see their band roles in an edit I made here. essentially there is a vocalist/guitarist, drummer, another guitarist, and a bassist. so this is what I think:

jian yi is the vocalist/guitarist:

(some images taken by the microphone post made by radonyx)

as you can see jian yi has a deep red guitar, which peek — also happens to match zhan zheng xi’s deep red drum set, strapped around himself in the top left image so its automatically a given that he will be playing the guitar. a regular guitar typically has six strings and its sound a bit lighter compared to bass guitars which I think would pair well with jian yi’s voice, who I believe to be the vocalist. jian yi has a very boisterous, outgoing personality, and is far from shy so this role, usually put at the forefront + center of attention, wouldn’t particularly bother him. and not only does he seem comfortable enough for the part — as you, I, and apparently some others believe, it looks to be that there is a silver microphone peeking through, hiding behind zhan zheng xi’s drum set. of course this is just speculation, but it very closely resembles microphones that have a flat top and doesn’t look like it could be much else. its seems to be that zhan zheng xi and jian yi like to keep their instruments together backstage from the official illustrations provided; however, there is a reason I believe zhan zheng xi wouldn’t be the singer out of the two which I will get to later. I imagine jian yi to look something like this:

singing with his guitar in his hands (illustration taken from the promotion of the anime ‘given’ which will be coming out soon). and here is a quote that old xian put in their new artbook (it goes with the illustration of zhanyi wearing matching rings and jian yi with his nails painted black) translated by the lovely @thingsthatfml.

“In the backstage of a musical performance,where the staff run restlessly and busily, only when I sit beside you do I feel at ease/feel the most safe.”

it’s a nice quote and its one I see in the point of view of jian yi who may be feeling a bit nervous before a show; he goes to find comfort and the feeling of protection from his safe haven, the love of his life — and sits beside zhan zheng xi who has sworn him protection since they were young and has always showed him the most care and love in his life. if you would like, check out this amazing fanart of jian yi singing made by trmk1. it is one of my favorite fanarts of him ever.

zhan zheng xi is the drummer:

as shown in the illustrations above, zhan zheng xi is displayed holding drumsticks in his hands with his deep red drum set nearby him — so it’s automatically a given by old xian that zhan zheng xi would be the drummer, and it makes sense because it fits his personality well. its an instrument that is never typically in the front and center and is usually in the background, which goes well with his very ‘keep to myself’ (unless you’re jian yi) personality; now while I don’t think zhan zheng xi is shy, he is not outgoing either. zhan zheng xi is sociable when needed to be but isn’t one to want the spotlight on himself so this is why, for me, he wouldn’t be the vocalist (even though his deep, husky singing voice would no doubt be hot, him being the vocalist in a band doesn’t feel as though it goes with his personality). drummers are also usually the main one responsible for the rhythm of a song, generating a beat and timing for others to follow. drummers also need to know how to accentuate/highlight the rhythms, volume, and have speedy reflexes to go well with certain instruments or quick vocal changes — a responsibility which would be handled well with a serious man like zhan zheng xi.

he tian is the bassist:

he tian would be the one to play the bass guitar. as shown above, his guitar is black and white with 6 strings. a bass guitar usually has anywhere from 4-6 strings. the sounds of a bass guitar in contrast to a regular one is that a bass guitar’s notes are about an octave lower — it sounders deeper than a normal guitar, which is what jian yi and mo would play. bass guitars are also usually a bit larger with a longer neck than regular guitars. I see he tian as the type to try to chase and master something that would be more of a challenge for him, so he would probably go with the one with more strings (plus as shown in the image above, his guitar has 6 strings). bass guitars are also known to be an instrument that works well with the drum set to create a good, cohesive rhythm and/or harmony. the bass guitar is probably something he would master quickly. he tian would probably be the second likely one to sing if not jian yi, given that he is also outgoing like jian yi and doesn’t appear to be very shy; however, to me, he doesn’t seem the type to be the first one to jump at the opportunity to sing either.

mo guan shan is another guitarist:

like jian yi, mo seems to be interested in guitars as heavily hinted in chapter 226 when he passes by a store displaying guitars and he seems to pause and stare at them longingly. normal guitars usually give the player more freedom to go off script with its lighter sounds and for mo it would fit him best because he could control how intricate (or not) he wants his sounds to be, how much attention he wants to attract with it etc., and given his nature of wanting to be as far away from the spotlight as possible, this would be the most comfortable role for him since he would have control over the amount of attention he could grab, essentially just doing what makes him most comfortable. out of everyone he is the least likely to be the vocalist as it wouldn’t fit his character, because being the vocalist usually means being at the forefront and center of display and that is exactly what he despises the most — it’s makes him extremely uncomfortable and he hates, hates, hates it which is also one of the reasons why in chapter 216 he didn’t want to be a model even though the job had good pay.

so in conclusion, I think their band roles are: jian yi = vocalist & guitarist, zhan zheng xi = drummer, he tian = bassist, and mo guan shan = guitarist.

#19 days #given #old xian #kizu natsuki #gusari #anonymous #replies

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moveslikebuckywrites · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Original Characters Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff Series: Part 4 of Ineffable Outliers Weekly Prompts Summary:

A day in the life of a certain angel and demon, a little over a year after the failed apocalypse. Featuring a visit to a coffee shop and a visit to a little Greek restaurant called the Olive Grove.

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This is a prompt fill for the Ineffable Outlier’s Weekly Prompts! This week’s prompt was:

It's a typical, mundane Post-End of the World day for any set of Gomens characters. How does this nice slice of life day go for them? How do the characters react to each other doing everyday trivialities such as washing dishes, gardening, shopping/running errands, etc. etc. Try to focus on the little things in life!

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10:17AM

Crowley almost didn’t like coming back to this place.

Sure, the coffee was great (large black, two sugars, every time, without him asking), and the baristas were some of the best in London (their sarcastic attitudes being a bonus, not a drawback), but the location. Well, the location left a lot to be desired.

Because this particular coffee shop was in Broadgate Tower. Main Earth location of the head offices of Heaven and Hell.

Not people he particularly wanted to be around these days.

Sure, they had formed a tenuous partnership with their former offices. Turns out, nobody upstairs or down knew jack shit about how things work on Earth. So now, they freelance. Sometimes the old Arrangement even kicks in, and Hell will (reluctantly) hire Aziraphale for a temptation or Heaven will (reluctantly) hire Crowley for a blessing.

Kind of ironic, in that Alanis Morissette kind of way.

They’d just come from one such meeting, Heaven was hiring the both of them for some minor blessings in Wales next week. Something to do with a charity soccer game or something, Crowley never paid much attention. Spent too much time glaring at Gabriel to listen to him. He’d really just wanted to get the heav-hel-WHATEVER out of there and go get his angel some lunch, but the silly featherhead wanted cocoa.

Oh, but dearest, they make the best cocoa here at the towers, Aziraphale had said, practically bouncing, they have the tiny little marshmallows I love and everything!

That’s where the ‘almost’ came in. As anyone who knew them would gladly tell you, Crowley was powerless to resist any request from his angel.

Hand in hand in a line full of business suits to get some much-needed warmth for this December chill. He recognized a couple of the baristas (1); Rose had really come into her own, was one of the best of them by now. She was working register today; Jisel was making the drinks. Couple of new faces here and there.

One would probably expect Aziraphale to know everyone by name, it came across through his sunny disposition. Sometimes, especially mundane times like this, Crowley would be struck by just how ridiculously in love with this fussy angel he was.

Sure, they were married now. Even their former bosses knew that had happened (2). But seeing the angel’s eyes light up over his favorite cocoa from his favorite coffee shop was almost a religious experience for the demon. Or how he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if he squeezed Aziraphale’s hand right now that the angel would squeeze back without hesitating and turn and give Crowley that soft little smile that was reserved just for him.

He tested that theory. Squeeze the hand, he squeezes back, and there’s the smile I love so much.

It was all unbearably sentimental. Made his insides feel all gooey. Unbecoming for a demon. Not that he gave a toss about that anymore.

“Hullo Mr. Crowley; Mr. Fell,” said Rose, now masterful at the register, “Same as always for today?”

“Yes, of course my dear,” Aziraphale said brightly, “With– ”

“Extra marshmallows, of course.” Rose smiled at them and Crowley could already feel Aziraphale blessing the rest of the baristas’ day.

Rose handed Crowley his coffee and they moved along to the end of the counter to wait for Aziraphale’s cocoa; leaning against the bar top with their shoulders touching. It was ridiculous how something so small made Crowley want to melt into a puddle of snake on the floor and slither off someplace secluded to scream and blush in peace, dammit.

Aziraphale sighed, “You know, Darling, it might not be the best idea, but in some small way I’m glad we’re freelancing now.”

“You just wanted to keep getting your cocoa, Angel,” Crowley said, bumping his shoulder into the angel’s, “which really, you could do anywhere.”

“Oh, but it just isn’t the same, Dearest.” Always with the pet names. It had taken Crowley quite a while to get used to them, felt like there was a new one every day and he couldn’t keep up. Every single one was infused with so much love and devotion they nearly knocked him off his feet.

“If I’m being honest, it’s the marshmallows,” the angel said wistfully, smiling at a memory, “Remember when we went back to Paris, after the Reign was over? And we found that quaint little candy shop and they were selling marshmallows there? I swear the marshmallows here taste exactly the same as those.”

“They’re probably just some megamart brand that you haven’t tried yet.”

“I-well, I never...A megamart, Dearest?” The angel stammered, “As though I’d ever. The sheer thought-“

“I’m only teasing you, Love,” Crowley said before leaning over and planting a kiss on the angel’s cheek, “You do get so cute when you’re full of that self-righteous fury.”

That earned him an eye roll. He knew what he had to do for these little reactions he so loved (3).

Little reactions he never thought he’d have. For the longest time, Aziraphale had been just a little too far from his reach, and just a little too in Heaven’s grasp. The angel had held Crowley’s twisted dark heart in his hands ever since that first day on the wall of Eden. Six thousand years of stolen glances, stolen time; lunches here, drinks there. Always, the forefront of his mind screaming please, please, just stay a little longer, a few more minutes and maybe I’ll finally get past all this emotion that’s eating me from the inside out.

Then the apocalypse didn’t happen. Then they were together, like it was the easiest decision in the world.

He’d still had his issues, to be sure. Not thinking he was good enough, not thinking Aziraphale would want to stay with him once he saw what a mess Crowley could actually be when he wasn’t putting up the cool façade. But the angel had stayed, had chosen him over everything and everyone else. And now they were married.

He liked to tumble that word around in his head sometimes. He did now, as he gazed lovingly (gross) at his husband (husband?!) as the angel prattled on about this or that to Jisel while she made his cocoa.

A commotion broke him out of his reverie.

“What do you mean my coffee is £3.80? It was £3.40 last week!”

“I do apologize, sir,” Rose stammered from behind the register, Crowley was already on alert, ready to intervene, “But the tower management raised the prices a couple of days ago.”

“Bullshit, don’t you know who I am?” the man shouted, Rose looked like she might faint. Crowley was about to say something, but Aziraphale beat him to it.

The angel had stood up and walked back to the register and was now addressing the customer directly, while Jisel handed his cocoa to Crowley.

“My dear fellow, I do believe you’ve forgotten to do something very important today.”

“I have?” the man asked, confused.

“Yes, I believe you said something about an…anniversary, maybe?” Aziraphale says, with a bit of miraculous intent.

The man goes pale, “Oh no, I forgot, I don’t have anything for her!”

“Well, I’d suggest you get a bit of a wiggle-on then, hmm?” Aziraphale said, with what Crowley could only describe as a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

“Yes,” the man stammered, “Yes, I-I suppose I should. Thank you.”

The man left without getting his coffee.

Crowley caught up to his husband, “Come on then, Angel, did your good deed for the day?”

“No rest for the good,” the angel smirked at him, “As it were.”

It was about this time that the man slipped and fell on a freshly mopped floor, sign conveniently missing, but now appearing out of thin air. His phone flew out of his hand and the screen shattered.

Aziraphale was practically giggly.

Crowley just stared at his angel, ever surprised by him to this day. Six thousand years doing nothing to dampen that affection.

That’s my Angel, he thought to himself, just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.

---

1:34 PM

There weren’t many things in this world that Aziraphale loved more than a nice hole-in-the-wall family restaurant (4).

The feelings of love that emanated from them were nearly intoxicating. As an angel, a being drawn to love, he gravitated to these establishments. Passed down from generation to generation, some further back than others. This one was a particular favorite, for more reasons than one.

“EAT!”

“I already told you, Yaya, I’m not hungry,” Crowley told her for the fifteenth time since they had sat down.

It was always this way here at the Olive Grove. Yaya thought Crowley was too skinny, she wanted him to eat. Crowley didn’t like eating, so he didn’t want to5.

All Aziraphale could do was stare from across the table and giggle. This was his favorite part of coming here, after all. Crowley may pretend to have a devil-may-care attitude, but the angel knew deep down that wasn’t the case.

Crowley would never admit it out loud, but he had a certain love for Yaya of his own. One that was misplaced by a Mother many, many eons ago. There’s a lot to be said for taking care of someone.

Not that any of that prevented Yaya from smacking Crowley’s hand with a wooden spoon as he reached for his phone instead of a fork.

“EAT!”

“Ok, alright, fine, I’m eating,” Crowley grumbled as he picked up the fork. Satisfied with the results, Yaya gave them both a smile and returned to her own work.

“You know, love, she’s only looking out for you,” the angel said between giggles. He couldn’t help it; it was always funny to see Crowley embarrassed.

“Doesn’t bloody need to, crazy old bat.”

Despite whatever thoughts Crowley had on crazy old people, bat or otherwise, he was digging rather quickly into the moussaka she had brought him.

Crowley was always a surprise, even after all this time. Aziraphale knew his husband had a soft heart underneath that bluster and bravado. Demons didn’t do things like sing the (alleged) Antichrist to sleep. Or stowaway children on the ark. Or save books of prophecy for dithering angels who might forget about them. Or go for lunches at the Ritz and picnics in the park.

But his demon did, and oh how Aziraphale knew how lucky he was.

He’d given Crowley a million reasons to give up on him through the years. Calling their friendship ‘fraternizing’, pushing him away when all he wanted to do was pull the demon closer. That last day before Armageddon was the worst. Aziraphale still had nightmares. Of Alpha Centauri and holy water and bathtubs.

But Crowley was always there when Aziraphale would wake from these, holding him and comforting him. Crowley has nightmares of his own, the angel knows. Of bookshops and sulfur and bandstands.

Bandstands. After that day, Aziraphale truly thought he’d lost Crowley for good. How could he have said something so mean. I don’t even like you! The furthest thing from the truth he ever could have said. Fear can make someone do things they wouldn’t, angels are no exception.

Aziraphale props his chin on his hand and looks at Crowley, who is now loudly complaining that no little old bat in a hole-in-the-wall Greek place can tell him what to do (he’s finished the moussaka and moved on to the dolmas at this point). All the angel can do is sigh.

Almost a century ago, when the angel had felt their fingers brush over a leather satchel of books in the burning wreckage of a church, he knew that the thing he’d been repressing had a name. A very familiar one at that. He tried to keep it at bay for so long, but it all came bubbling over after lunch at the Ritz following Armageddon. They had been walking and their hands were so very, very close. Almost touching with every step they took. Crowley rarely, if ever, had his hands out of his pockets and Aziraphale tended to flip back and forth between worrying his in front of him and having them behind his back. He’d seen the chance and took it.

And on they had walked, hand in hand, fitting together like missing puzzle pieces. They didn’t look at each other or speak, both afraid that they might ruin the moment.

They made it three steps into the bookshop before giving up and kissing each other senseless, no time for talking then, that would come later. In hushed breaths and soft spoken I-love-you’s that had waited for far too many centuries to be spoken into the world.

He’d spent some time at the beginning absolutely terrified. To him, Crowley was so vibrant and he always seemed to be running on all cylinders. Aziraphale had been afraid, when it came right down to it, that one day Crowley would wake up and realize just how boring he really was. Sure, Crowley had always teased him about his fashion and his books among other things but being together in this capacity was so different. So new and fresh. Aziraphale was scared he couldn’t live up to the expectations of 6000 years of want.

But here they were, on their own side. With the rings on their fingers to prove it. He can’t help but stare. Crowley’s been growing his hair out long again, and it’s almost to his shoulders now. It catches the light and is reminiscent of the copper pots that hang as decoration on the walls. He’s gesticulating wildly to go with whatever nonsense he’s decided to complain about now, and Aziraphale traces the motion, focused on the gold ring that looks like wings on Crowley’s finger.

He’s not sure how long he’s been sitting there staring when Crowley stops ranting and leans in to kiss him gently, breaking him from his self-imposed trance.

“See something you like, Angel?” the demon says with a twitch of that mischievous smile. The one that he saves for Aziraphale, without the demonic intent behind it.

Which doesn’t change what that smile means for later. But Aziraphale knows how his demon’s mind works.

“Just admiring the most beautiful person in this restaurant, dearest,” and if Aziraphale is right, what comes next is–

“Ngk.”

Yes, just as he thought. He reaches across the table and takes his husband’s hand, “You do realize you’ve almost made your way through three plates while complaining about Yaya’s concern for you.”

“Well…I…ngk…uh…” the demon stammers, trying to come up with a bad reason to eat the food that Yaya gives him, “Well…um…the thing is. The thing is..”

Aziraphale lets him work through it as he eats his spanakopita and drinks his wine.

“The thing is, Angel, if Yaya keeps giving me this food…that’s less for the paying customers…then business goes under…and then the restaurant closes! See? Perfectly evil of me!” Crowley smiles smugly and takes a drink of his own wine.

“Except we do pay for our food here, if anything we’re helping the business, so that line is out my dearest.”

“Well…well…uhm…”

Aziraphale loves flustering Crowley this way, it’s always so easy to do and always good for a show.

“Sometimes you can be quite nice my dear.”

“Shaddap,” Crowley says, sulking into his chair. The demon looks over to where Yaya is taking an order and she gives him a pointed look.

“Dearest, best eat up, you know she’ll insist on you having the baklava before she lets you leave.”

“Well,” Crowley says quickly and almost inaudibly, “Be rude to let it go to waste, wouldn’t it?”

There’s my demon, Aziraphale thought to himself, sipping his wine and smiling, just a little bit a good person, whether he admits it or not.

---

7:23 PM

In a little flat above a bookshop in Soho, and angel and a demon are watching TV.

Well, they were watching TV. They’d started out with Crowley resting his head in Aziraphale’s lap while the angel carded his fingers through the demon’s hair. But then Crowley had stilled the angel’s hand to kiss his wrist. Which of course meant that Aziraphale had brought Crowley’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. Which led to the demon leaning up to kiss along the angel’s jawline, and that’s how we ended up here.

Snogging on the couch while they were intending to watch TV.

A typical Monday spent the typical ways. The sun sets, and the calendar turns a page. There will be more Mondays, more Decembers. More coffee shops and little Greek restaurants. More anniversaries and holidays. More interrupted TV shows to go with interrupted morning crossword puzzles, because what can hold a candle to love? What else does anyone need?

Let us retreat and give them their privacy. They deserve it after so long being watched by Heaven and Hell alike. They don’t need to be watched by us as well.

Let us draw these curtains and slip away, and as we do, think of love. Love everlasting and love unconditional. Love that waits and is waited for. A love that is patient, and a love that is kind.

---

1 - Crowley made a habit of remembering his favorite baristas. If that happened to be most of them, you couldn’t really blame him.

2 - There wasn’t an official ceremony, as it were, they just exchanged their rings in the park while book-girl took pictures from a bush. But as there had been witnesses (one purple-eyed intrusive spy from Heaven, and one very buzzy spy from Hell) it had been considered official and they had been given rounds of forced congratulations when they got called in for the next freelance assignment.

3 – And if one of these things was a minor miracle that ensured the shop always had those lovely little marshmallows from France when Aziraphale was there, who was anyone to judge?

4 – There were three. The Ritz (too many good memories), Books (too many good stories), and Crowley (there’s not enough space in the footnotes to get into why the demon ranks at the top. Perhaps there’s a place with copious amounts of stories at the push of a button that could give you a few examples, hmm?)

5 – Crowley and Yaya had done this back and forth since the first visit. Crowley knows Yaya barely speaks English, and Yaya knows that Crowley doesn’t like to be told what to do. Neither of these things stop either of them. They both love it.

#fic #good omens #my fic #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable outliers #the return of the coffee shop!#the return of Yaya!

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him-e · 5 years

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I'm not the previous lovely anon but when I read their message I thought I might've written it and then forgot about it, because honestly same. You've been one of my fave blogs for the 4 years I've been on tumblr since I was sixteen. Your meta and commentary mainly on asoiaf and sw helped me shape the way I see fandom, there were so many moments when I've read something of yours and went "Yes! This! but will I be able to ever express myself so eloquently?" There are so many strong opinions(1/3)

on this site and you’re always willing to explore different perspectives and offer a deep insight in the story with such levelheadedness! Also it was through your blog that I first saw things like monster romance, empathizing with villains, redemption arcs, female gaze narratives etc. discussed. I knew I liked these types of stories since I was a kid but I didn’t knew there were names or actual analysis for them and you lead me to discover similar meta writers and pieces of work. Like one of your meta on your sideblog about how villain love interests appeal to teen girls not only because they desire them but also because they see themselves in them? It was so poignantly written and so opposite to the condescending and misogynistic views of antis and I still remember it because it deeply touched me (I seriously had a “holy shit this is me” realization).So uh..excuse my word vomit but what I mean to say is that you are amazing and I hope everything in your life works out in the best possible way because you deserve it 1000%.

Since SIXTEEN? *clutches chest* All of this makes me so happy because it’s exactly the same brain sparkles I got when I first joined Tumblr, MANY years ago (and even before that, when I started interacting with other female fans on LJ and other forums, but Tumblr made the difference because it made it easy to widen the scope of the discussion from a specific fandom to fiction and media at large).

Honestly, and I can’t stress this enough, 98% of what I do on this site is sharing ideas that aren’t original at all, but the echo of years of interaction with different brilliant minds, each of them has helped me go from passive consumer of fiction, to feminist interrogating the media I consume on its “problematic” content (yes! I went through that phase myself too, although not in the same way antis do these days), to what I am now, i.e. a feminist who is trying to do her best at intersectionality but also wants to experience escapist fiction freely and without guilt trips, and reclaim those tropes and narratives that i know have made me happy in the past, from a visceral, empathetic perspective, for a reason. So I’m glad that other people, especially this young, are reaching quickly stage 3 and getting familiar with a meta culture that is less about swallowing fandom factoids passively and more about mutually sharing ever-evolving views and interpretations.

But the best thing is knowing that young people like you are clever and mature enough to handle all of this in a way I don’t think I was able to do at your age (tbh I only experienced fiction from within my own bubble, back then—I had no concept of sharing my views with people who ruminated on things just as much as I did. At best, I read reviews or even essays, but not from a fan perspective. But who knows, maybe forming my own opinions in a pseudo void rather than the echo chamber that fandom can be now was formative too).

I really hate the idea of having to be condescending to teenagers, of having to “protect” them from terrible fiction or *shitty villains*. Of feeding them only good narratives, and guilt tripping them into denouncing as bad anything they might feel instinctively drawn to, but that isn’t *approved* by the fandom police. At that age, you should already be able to think with your own head, and tell the difference between an ideal you’d want to pursue in real life and a fantasy you want to engage with in the privacy of your room just because it feels FUN. or scary. or sexy. or, well, wrong. You should be able to do that. I honestly can’t imagine my existence if I hadn’t been able to do that.

The thing you referenced, about seeing yourself in certain types of villains, because they fill a representation void in male-centric narratives that more often than not female characters (who are often pushed to the margins and deprived of any real agency or personality in those stories) can’t satisfy on their own? Let alone good standard masculine heroes with exactly the right amount of good standard “soft” qualities to not overall compromise the perception of their masculinity? When I first heard of this idea myself, a lot of things just clicked into place for me. Haven’t I liked all my life a certain type of characters and tropes? Was I brainwashed by the patriarchy, or was there something deeper and more complex going on there? How can I look at fiction critically without also having to beat myself into liking unproblematic narratives with the “good” kind of characters and representation, sanitized to a point that I don’t find anything relatable in them?

digressing as always, ANYWAY: I’m glad you wrote and glad my blog was for you an intersection of different perspectives and roads to follow. I’d rather be this than a “role model” (because I suck at modeling, and because fuck role models anyway). Hope you continue on these paths!

#lovely anons #fandom #personal #anti purity culture #young anons #<3 #anon #asks #am i turning into a mama duck?#... nah #maybe an aunt duck

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itsamalfoy-potterthing · 6 years

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I don’t usually (ever) post my fics... but here we are

I figured it was time to put one out there.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632505

Harry sighed. He had been looking all afternoon, but his book is nowhere to be found. He suddenly wished he had let Hermione talk him into a shelf for his office. It had been 4 years since Hogwarts, and still Hermione was hardly ever wrong. He glanced up at the clock by the door. 'Eight already. Ron is probably gone by now. I wonder if-' Harry's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a sudden presence in the room. "Can I help you?" He asked, suddenly wishing to leave his office and make his way to his apartment. He hates having stay longer than he absolutely has to, and he had already wasted so long looking for his book. "Why yes, you can. So kind of you to offer." The man smirked at Harry in a way only he could. Harry let a small smile fall into place. "Malfoy. Haven't seen you in a while. Almost forgot that you worked here." That was a lie. Harry thought about Draco all day. He seemed to always have him on his mind. Of course, it didn't help that Draco worked just across the hall. Harry saw him every morning at 11:15. He convinced himself that it was a coincidence that he happened to pass by Draco's office at the exact moment that Draco leaves for a coffee break. Harry called it chance when they happened to pass each other and stop to engage in friendly conversation. "Oh please, Potter. I'd hardly say that this morning qualifies as 'a while'. Do try not to be too dramatic." Despite his snarky tone, Harry knew that Draco was only joking. Draco's odd 'sense of humour' took him quite a while to get used to, but he learned that the man meant well. Harry grinned, joining in on the playful banter. "Honestly, Malfoy. Who do you think I am? I've never been dramatic. You on the other hand.." Draco smiled and shrugged. "I never said I wasn't. At least I admit my faults." "Whatever," Harry said still grinning. He found his eyes drawn to the smile on Draco's face. His smile was relaxed and genuine. His lips looked soft. The smile once again shifted into a smirk. Harry suddenly realized what he was doing and awkwardly asked, "What is it you wanted?" Draco's smirk was replaced with a nervous expression. He almost looked unsure. Harry had never seen Draco look so vulnerable before. He looked so...cute. After a few moments, Draco spoke timidly, "I want you to...Harry Potter, would you please... Harry, would you like to maybe go for dinner sometime?...Maybe?" Draco rested his gaze on the floor. Harry froze. "Like a date?" He asked quietly. 'This cannot be happening. There is no way Draco Malfoy just asked me on a date'. "Yes? I.." He sighed, "...Harry, I really like you. I have for years. I mean, why wouldn't I? You're Harry Potter, the hottest man in the Europe. The point is: Yes, I would to take you out for dinner... on a date." He smiled nervously. Even in the dim lighting of Harry's Ministry office, Draco looked incredible. Not even seconds after, Draco coughed and spoke quickly. "Of course, you don't have to say yes. I understand if you don't want to...You know, actually, just forget I even came in here." Draco, blushing like mad, quickly spun around and rushed to the door. "Draco! Wait! Draco!" Harry grabbed his hand and pulled Draco back into the large room. Draco expertly avoided Harry's eyes at all costs, blushing harder at the contact. "Draco, please look at me?" Harry huffed a small sigh and gently lifted Draco's chin to look at him. "Draco. I would love to go on a date with you." "Really? Are you sure? What am I saying? Of course you'd love to go on a date with me. I'm gorgeous." Draco grinned, quickly returning to his usual playful and confident self. "Exactly! You're easily the most handsome man in this room." Draco laughed. Harry loved his laugh. It immediately brightened his day, giving him a strange feeling in his gut. "I'm not going to argue with you, git. Does Friday work for you?" "Definitely. Be ready at eight?" "Sure. And Potter, do try to be presentable. I have a reputation to uphold." Draco snickered, clearly poking fun at his past priorities. "Being an arse doesn't qualify as a reputation, but I suppose I will try for your sake. Wouldn't want to damage your enormous ego." "I'm glad that we're on the same page then." Draco once again turned towards the door, only this time with a large grin spread across his face. "Oh, one more thing." Draco turned around to say something, but Harry cut him off with a swift kiss. "I've been wanting to do that since sixth year." Draco went silent, and, for a moment, Harry thought he had done something wrong. "Sorry! I shouldn't have done that without asking first! I'm so sorry, Draco! I-" "I love you." He spoke so softly that Harry almost didn't hear it. "I love you, Harry. I have loved you for a long time now, and I hated that I couldn't have you. You have no idea how hard it was for me to come in here, and you ruined it all. We were going to have a splendid time on our date. I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend. You were going to say yes. We were going to be the best couple the wizarding world has seen. I was going to be the best boyfriend you've ever had. I was going to treat you to whatever you asked of me. You were going to fall in love with me. I was going to ask you to move in, and eventually, we would've gotten married." Tears began to roll down Draco's face, silently accentuating his pain. "We would've had a wonderful life together, and each day l would love you more. You would have loved me. I would have finally been happy. I would finally have the one thing I ever needed. I would have had a life full of love and happiness and you, Harry. I could have finally been able to have peace knowing that at least one person cared about me, and you ruined it all. You had to make me say it. You had to use my greatest weakness against me, Harry, you had to kiss me and make me feel safe and happy. You are the only man l will ever love and now I've frightened you off all because you couldn't be satisfied with dinner." Draco, who had gradually gotten louder throughout his rant, stood silent and vulnerable before Harry. "Well, it's a good thing I ruined your plans then," Harry softly whispered, as he pulls Draco closer. "What?" Draco tilted his head in confusion. Although he was anticipating Harry's rejection, he hadn't expected him to make light of his heartbreak. "I mean, it just seems like a waste of time to me. In theory, your plan is great, but it doesn't quite work when applied to the two of us, you know?" "I'm not sure I do know. Why wouldn't it work with us? We could be great. I don't see why you aren't even considering it. I mean, I know we've had our fair share of disagreements but-" "It wouldn't work because I can't fall in love you, Draco. It's impossible." "Oh. I-I understand. That's alright. Uhm, well, I guess I'd better go then. I apologize for wasting your time." "Draco, I can't fall in love with you if I already love you." "What?! That's great! This worked out better than I had planned!" Draco hesitated and thought over what just happened. "You utter twat! I fucking hate you, right now! I can't believe you did that! You fucking prick! I thought I had lost my only chance with the love of my life and you decide to not inform me that it was requited?! Leave me alone, Potter! I can't look at you!" Draco yelled and fled from the room. Harry sat on his cluttered desk, regretting his actions. He suddenly grinned when a blonde head peaks into the doorway. "Friday at eight. I expect you not to be late....I'm still mad at you." As soon as he had finished, he chucked something at Harry's head and disappeared. Harry rubbed his head and looked at the offending object resting on his lap. "Fucking Slytherin," he muttered, smiling at the book he had been looking for. He picked up the book from his lap and grabbed his wand. Harry spent the rest of the day (the rest of his life) appreciating the genius of Malfoy's plan.

#why did I do this #why #drarry #*drarry attempt #ughh #oh well #sorry

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cutiecrates · 5 years

Text

Cutie Reviews: Doki Doki Sept 18

Hi guys, here’s the (possibly) long-awaited Doki Doki September review that I probably should have done earlier this past week or two... or three. It kind of got put off, plus I got a new game and a new book I was excited about, and there was a hospital-related incident and some back pains...

Anyway I don’t have much else to say right now so we’ll just get right into it!

This months theme: First Day of School

As the weather gets cooler and we return from our summer vacations, we have to get back into the swing of things. This month’s theme is “Shin-gakki” or First Day of School. This crate is full of items to make school, or the workplace for those out of school, cute and fun!

For this month the Suteki Crate focuses on several practical Sanrio based character goods, namely My Melody, Sumikko Gurashi, and Jinbesan. I approve!

(As usual I forgot the picture until I started writing this.)

I love the adorable pen pouch and memo pen, what about you guys? :3

(Also as a side note, in the comic for the month we’re introduced to a new boy character, Hibiki Shinosuke, who finds out first-hand why Tomomi is avoided in class. He’s really funny, so I hope we see more of him~)

Sumikko Gurashi Pen Case

Our first item is this slim and adorably designed pen/pencil/other small stationery item case. It features the Sumikko Gurashi trying various school clubs, besides the tennis one I got there is also soccer, volleyball, soft ball, music, and basketball.

Besides the music one, I’m pretty happy I got this one because I like tennis. But they all would have been really cute, so I wouldn't have been disappointed either way.

These are also double sided, providing 100% cuteness on both sides!

It’s also made to be discrete while safely snuggling the inner-contents; which means you could probably also use this on a daily basis if you didn’t attend school anymore or was going out for the day. They are on the small side so there are a handful of items that probably won’t fit, but there is also a variety of items that will.

I pretty much use it and the one I got last year (or maybe the year before?) to hold all the pens and pencils I get from these boxes!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I really like these x3 not only are they cute, but they are functional, well-made, and I like how they’re sleek and slim with a very smooth cloth fabric, rather than bulky and hard, which were the types of cases I had growing up when I attended school.

They were plastic which made them hard and fragile, and they got dirty fairly easy (but to be fair that was sometimes my fault), but I usually made them last until the school year ended. They came in handy due to their bigger size (I could fit some of everything school related in one) and I always had tons of coloring options, and I always found a pink one to buy each year... but I’m pretty sure my middle school self would have preferred these.

Jinbesan Folder

(Sorry the pics are kind of wonky, that’s what happens to a folder that’s been bent for a long period of time.)

Our next item is this large, colorful Jinbesan folder- which is pretty vital for pretty much everyone, no matter the grade. I know I had multiple each year, one for each subject like any other person.

There was a few different designs this was available in, and this one is also double-sided:

(Keep in mind it’s a lot brighter in person than in this picture)

Again, I’m pretty sure I would have loved to use these when I was younger; not that I don’t now though :P but I do have papers I can use it for now so it’s not like it’s going to go to waste... I just need to fix it’s bendiness first.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This folder material is like a very sleek plastic (maybe vinyl? I don’t really know terms for these things >3<), so I like knowing that if it gets dirty then in theory it should be an easy clean. Prior to me opening the box it was already bent, but staying in the box so long didn’t help it, but that’s my own fault and I’m sure with enough weight I can flatten it again. At least this material can’t tear like paper folders.

Aggretsuko Plush Charm

Who doesn’t love Retsuko? She’s become extremely popular as of late, and as the booklet points out, it’s can be really easy to relate to her sometimes when dealing with school and work (it also helps if you like metal, I enjoy it a bit myself).

This is a plush charm that was available in either form, the cutesy work Retsuko and the released death metal one. I hope I don’t get hate over this, but I actually prefer her normal cutesy appearance; but I can still be appreciative over this one too.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It’s very soft and squishy, I’m really impressed that as small as this charm is (It’s smaller than most mug in terms of height) it has a lot of perfectly stitched quality. There’s no quality issues, even the little hair tufts on the ears feel soft and silky. The ball chain is also pretty nice too.

My Melody Onigiri Maker

Whether you make your own lunch or someone else does it, or if you just want a snack, it’s nice to have a cutesy element in some shape or form to make it feel all the more special~

This comes in 4 pieces to make the perfect My Melody onigiri (rice ball), as well as drawn and written details to help make it on the packaging; although it isn’t that hard to figure out just looking at it either.

Now as much as I love rice and try to test out food-based gadgets we get, I wasn’t able to do that with this one. I didn’t have the “supplies” and with the hectic things going on, I wasn’t really doing much in the kitchen lately. But I have seen several youtube videos about items like this so I recommend going there if you want to see more.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Whether I tested this out or not, I wouldn’t have had very much to say about it. You’ve seen one rice shaper you’ve seen them all, and I have tested previous ones I got and haven’t had any problems (besides the broken one I got like two years ago that they were supposed to be replace and never did).

I love cutesy looking food, even if they can take a bit more time to make, but food always seems to taste better when it’s personally worked on; it also helps to make picky-eaters a tiny bit less-picky :P if you like eating rice and would like to try these out, you can find a variety of them on Amazon.

Amuse Pen

You can’t have a school themed box without a writing utensil of some type. So here we are, at our last item. An adorable pastel pen featuring the popular brand Amuse and it’s original characters.

It’s a bit hard to see here, but I got Alpacasso x3 which is the reason I like this brand, since I always had a soft spot for llama and alpaca- I like that they’re so popular now because I can enjoy them more frequently!

Anyway, each pen comes in it’s own themed color, with matching colored ink. It also has a wonderful and relaxing scent, it smells exactly like an eraser I got in a prior school themed box. But I still can’t identify the scent more than being a light sweet fruit with a hint of baby powder or cotton candy.

It smells really good, trust me.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The pen quality is good, a tiny bit spotty but I think that was my fault for writing on the box rather than paper. Again it’s scented, and it has pretty sky blue ink, so I’m not sure it would be test or signature necessary friendly, but it’d be perfect for everything else!

Oh, also it isn’t a gel pen or fine tip, like what I usually prefer. But you know, I still really like it :3 I don’t have too many colored ink pens (unless you buy a really expensive pen or multi-ink ones, all we normally have are black, red, dark blue, and sometimes dark green) so I get excited when I can add to my collection.

In fact I pretty much stopped buying pens and stationery items from here because I get so many from these boxes.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. I’m a teeny-tiny bit bugged by the folder, but that can easily be fixed so I’m not going to blame the box on that. I wasn’t amazed by the items or anything, but I liked them and I love getting to add to my pens and kitchen gadgets. They’re perfect for the time of year they were released and are very practical, so I completely approve!

Quality/Price - 5 out of 5. I’ll admit on terms of price I’m not sure where the box stands this month. The quality was excellent with each and every item, and because of them all being licensed I know that would probably make them costly depending on location. The problem with that is that where I live (and I’m sure in several other states/towns) school products are very cheap when school starts, and even throughout the year. So as much as I prefer cute items to plain ones... I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to spend triple times the amount just for a couple of them when I could use the same money to buy a lot of basic items. But to be fair I don’t know the prices of these things, it’s entirely possible they aren’t as expensive as I think.

Theme: 5 out of 5. Like last months, it’s extremely obvious even without the book. Every September they do a school themed box, but I like the consistency and I’m sure the other subscribers appreciate it too.

Total Rank: 15 out of 15 Cuties. When I first started this I wasn’t too sure how I felt about this box, it kind of gave me vibes from the previous one, where I enjoyed the items but I didn’t feel any sort of inspiration. I assume it stems from often getting “schoolish“ items in my other boxes, but at the same time I liked the concept of getting one box dedicated just to them. Plus I adore practicality considering how much gets spent on these and they have been doing pretty well with that!

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Sumikko Gurashi Case - Again pastels and designs, but just looking at it makes me feel happy x3

2. Amuse Pen - I love it’s pale pastels and colorful design... but the clippy part of the pen’s top that you attach it to things with kind of blocks the image a teensy bit, which is kind of annoying to me.

3. Jinbesan Folder - I love how it has two alternate designs and is so smooth and translucent. Any time I see something Jinbesan related, I really want to hug it. I feel so warm and comforted looking at it~

4. My Melody Onigiri Maker - As much as I love cute pinkness, that’s all there really is going for it.

5. Aggretsuko Plush - ...It’s probably really obvious right?

Alrighty, that will be doing it with another review :3 I hope you found it enjoyable (I’d say informative but lets be real it isn’t), and because I didn’t get my April Gacha Gacha box yet, I will be moving on to our October boxes! I’m so excited, not only was October my birthday month, but it features spooky-kawaii items for Halloween~

Until next time, stay cute!

#dokidokicrate #doki doki crate #sumikkogurashi #sumikko gurashi #sanrio #jinbesan

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bookishbloggerreviews · 6 years

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The Moonburner Series --An Honest Review

[Warning: I give an honest review that focuses not only on plot but on writing and character as well. As this is an opinion, you can take it as seriously as you want, but understand that my goal is to review, not shame or praise the author.]

Hey guys! Welcome back to spooktober! I hope you’ve been getting your spooks on because honestly I haven’t and I need someone to spook things up for me.

Moving on... today I will be reviewing an indie book series, called the Moonburner series by Claire Luana!

(A side note, I will only be reviewing the first three books in the series, as I am contemplating on getting the last one--I’ll explain more in depth about this in the future.)

Anyway, let’s get into it! Overall, I really loved this series. I feel like the first book was a little rough and needed probably another draft or two, but the rest of the series was pretty good. Overall, I gave this series a 6/10. Personally, I loved these books and they rated more towards 8/10 reads, but I’m not here to smother you with my opinions, I’m here to give an honest, in-depth review of the book. (Also, if you’re new here, I start reading with an expectation of AT LEAST a 5/10 read. So it wasn’t horrible but a lot of the mistakes in here really dragged the score down.)

So now you’re probably wondering, how can you love a book so much but rate it lower? Well, I’m about to give you a dozen reasons why.

Starting with the first book published in the series...

We have our main characters Kai, Quitsu, and Hiro. Kai and Quitsu are best friends and Quitsu is literally her spirit animal, whereas Kai and Hiro were first rivals but then became lovers. As for the plot, the plot revolves around two groups of people with the extraordinary power to draw upon moonlight or sunlight and burn it, as well as their wars. So already, you're pretty drawn in, right? I mean it’s a fabulous concept and I absolutely loved how they portrayed the powers that these characters have but there’s just one problem...

The writing lacked quite a bit. And by quite, I mean I ended up giving this book a 5/10.

There were so many little errors that kept popping up about this book like... inconsistencies in world-building, rushed relationships, (practically?) insta-love, lack of emotions/emotional connection, too many things going in such a short span, etc. Like this book, despite its loveable characters, amazing concepts, powers, animals, creatures, world, etc, needed a lot more work.

And I don’t say this to tear the author down, I say this because I know, if these issues were fixed, this book would be as memorable as the newly released and practically favorited book by every reader across the globe, The Poppy War.

So I’m going to take a very brief detour into the specifics of the books. If you want to read the book (which I encourage you to do so, it was still a fun and fast read.) then you might want to scroll down to the next book I’ll be reviewing in the series, if not, then read at your own peril.

[WARNING: SPOILERS]

I’m going to go through this as quickly and as thoroughly as I can.

Starting off with the inconsistencies in world-building, one thing that I noticed is the book would say, “Oh, these bats along with other creatures of the night serve us in our cause!” And then we would never see another creature of the night in the entire series. Or... “We are going to this mountain range to give you your final test to become a master moonburner!” But the mountains were never mentioned and didn’t even seem to exist until the characters decided to go there. These things are relatively easy fixes so I’m not quite sure why these were even a problem to begin with but *shrugs* oh well.

Moving onto rushed relationships... this book was too fast-paced for its own good. I mean, seriously, this book attempted to fit a 500-page (minimum) plot into 300 pages and because of that, this book was severely underwritten. Now there are two types of writers out there. There are under-writers and over-writers. I, myself, am an underwriter and have to go back in four, five, six, times to add back in the detail that I was missing in the first place. Then there are over-writers like Stephanie Meyer and Laini Taylor (on occasion), where they over-write their stories and their books probably need to get trimmed some pages. But this book needed those extra pages of relationship building because in some places, for example, the main character would meet another character and then five pages later the main character would practically die for this person.

The relationship or “instant-attraction” of Kai and Hiro is another good point. Hiro saves Kai’s life, Kai saves Hiro’s live, and then suddenly they’re like buddy-buddy. Like, you would figure that being mortal enemies and on the opposite side of the war, and having your own father murdered by your boyfriend’s men would cause you to be a little more cautious about who you want to get involved with but ok.

And even with some of the emotional connections, I just didn’t get it. I felt like the author could see it in their head, but I couldn’t see it in mine. The only people that I don’t feel like this rule applies to are Kai’s closest friends because we are given a decent amount of time to know them and to interact with them so I can at least understand that. But with things like... Kai’s spirit animal, or Kai’s crush, or Kai’s boyfriend, or Kai’s powers for moon burning and her affinity for it... I just didn’t get it. A lot of the emotion seemed to be cut out or forgotten and I don’t know why.

And finally, the last problem that I have with this book is the rape. I completely get this and understand that it’s a big part of what’s happening and why these people are so evil, but I do not feel like it was handled the way it should’ve been. With such a sensitive topic, I feel like more sensitivity is needed, and I only received about half the dose I needed on that.

And if you’ve read the book you might be saying, “but they promised to save them! They never forgot about them! Etc!” but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is the subtle “if we get caught we’ll be just like them”, half-heartedness going on. It rubbed me the wrong way and I felt like there wasn’t enough seriousness given to the subject for it to be adequately covered.

But again, these are all writing errors. The concepts are fabulous and I love them to bits but this book needed a lot more polishing than it got.

Continuing onto the Second book, this series took a direction I would’ve never seen. A majority of the plot in this book is all brand new. Unless you read the description I’m not sure you would know where this was going but needless to say that it still fell into some of the same writing flaws as the last book. The only difference between this and the last book was these errors were fewer or had less effect.

I’ll go into depth more in a moment but for an overall score, I gave this a 6.5/10. While my original decision was to leave it at a 6, I didn’t think it deserved that low of a score, but it did not earn a solid 7, hence the .5.

So as I mentioned, it fell into some of the same writing mistakes but it wasn’t as nearly as bad as the first book.

For one, the book actually slowed down a lot allowing for some real character development and relationships to form. (Although Kai and Hiro still needed some work, another pair showed up that saved the day.)

There was still a little of that troubled world-building where they would mention they were going to the docks and my brain was like: “lol this was a coastal city what?” Or, “these demons have been haunting us for centuries and they have been tearing us apart!” And there were no mentions of any sort of creatures BEFORE this book so I’m sitting there thinking...

Also, there was a lot of sexism that was kind of brought up and I was like wtf is this, where is this coming from? Because you only saw a hint of it in the previous book but now it’s full blown like...:

In the previous book, sunburners could only be male and moonburners could only be female and there was a mentioned distrust between the two sexes but in this book is like:

BAM IN YOUR FACE

And I’m not exactly sure where the need came from as to why the book had to have so many stereotypes blended into the story when the previous book didn’t really have that at all but...

As for the emotional connection, there were several good spots that allowed me to really see what the character was feeling which was nice. It wasn’t through the whole book and it seemed rather empty for the majority of the time, but there were good spots!

And again, another thing this book series keeps struggling with is too much plot, not enough pages. Seriously, in the first chapter, a main character nearly dies and I’m like WTF it’s the first chapter we’ve only been reading this for five minutes and they’re already on a death bed?! Or, in this case, they also had to go find artifacts and people to help save their world and I remember reading and going: “I’m 65% through the book and this quest is just BARELY starting???” (not that events weren’t happening it just seemed like the MAIN event didn’t happen until over halfway through the book.)

As for the rape stuff, that wasn’t really involved in this book. There were instances where I wished the world-building and the connections would be stronger cause I was sitting there thinking... “This girl isn’t the only victim... there are like 6 others... what happened to all the other victims? And what happened to the men?” Etc.

Overall, I don’t think that this part of the series had a plot line fully planned out beforehand, plus it needed another draft or two, but regardless of what I say and how I’m getting after every little thing, I STILL ENJOYED THIS BOOK. Don’t get me wrong, these were mistakes but they were bearable mistakes because I enjoyed the storyline and the world enough to ignore them.

The Moonburner series has 4 books, which would probably be divided up better into a prequel novella, a duology, and a stand-alone novel. I’ve read the duology and Burning Fates is the novella. (Personally, I’m not sure if I want to read the stand-alone novel right now. I might, but I also have a huge AF TBR that I’ve been putting off for weeks now...)

And honestly, out of the whole series that I’ve read, this is actually my favorite of them. (Oh, and I forgot. You can actually get this novella for free if you sign up for a newsletter from the author. So go check that out! Link is here: https://claireluana.com/) But the romance was the most real out of all of them, the characters had amazing character development despite it being a novella, and I wish this would’ve been a full-sized book because I can see there is much more to this story.

The story itself follows Kai’s parents and how they fell in love and it sets up really nicely for the first book in the series but needless to say... I WAS EMOTIONALLY DISTRAUGHT DURING THIS WHOLE TIME.

Because, if you were to read Moonburner first, you already know how a character dies and sitting there, growing slowly attached to this morally and a romantically upstanding person, knowing how they die, was literal torture.

This book was the right length, it had a very good balance of emotions and plot, it was a little Romeo and Juliet like but that’s 100% okay because it was well done, and overall, I gave this book a 8/10.

There was nothing that made me leaving screaming with joy, but it was just balanced enough and well written that I left having thoroughly enjoyed the book and I am very tempted to buy this as a physical copy because it left such a good impression on me.

Again, the series overall was a 6/10 for me, but it’s clear that the author has been improving in terms of writing, character development and plot. I don’t typically advertise on my blog because I find it obnoxious to find on other people’s, but I sincerely believe that this indie author is worth keeping an eye on. Currently, she is releasing a brand new series (and literally, she has amazing covers every single time, it’s kind of ridiculous.) called the Confectioners Guild. (Also, Claire please don’t sue me if I use your image I’m trying to support you because I want to see you do well T.T)

And I’m not going to lie, this sounds like the most interesting delectable thing yet. For a brief overview, a confectioner in a magical world is framed for murder when her cupcakes end up poisoning someone. I won’t say any more than that, but I said, it already sounds wonderfully delicious and you can find the link to her whole series right here: https://claireluana.com/confectioner-chronicles/

(Also, btw, I’m not sponsored, I just love her books. Shoot me for wanting to see a good indie author explode into mainstream media.)

Anyway, as usual, thank you for reading this review. If you liked it and want to see more of my honest reviews, feel free to give my little blog a follow and a like or a reblog. (Seriously tho, if you can do that my little 6 follower blog will adore you for the unconditional support.)

And as always...

I will see you next time!

A Bookish Blogger out!

#indie #indieauthor #new #new author #new release #new series #authors to watch #author #indiebooks #things i like #things to read #fantasy #superpowers #book review #book #review #Honest Review

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trelaney · 6 years

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You’re A Mean One, Mr. Hux 2

(A/N: I’m glad you guys like it! I have an outline for this and just a warning: this is going to be a slow burn. So. Slow. Slower than a sloth on a hot summer’s day. Also, I curse a lot.)

After you were done screaming, you tossed the pillow back down on your couch and checked the time. “4:30?!” You sprang up and quickly began to clean up your apartment. Sure, you’re not a complete slob...but when your friends left and you were left all alone, you didn’t exactly care about your apartment being pristine. God only knows that douchebag would have a shit fit if your place wasn’t clean when he arrived....

Once you had completed your frenzied clean up, you barely had a second to breathe when you heard a sharp rap at your door. “5:15 already?” A quick look at the clock in your living room affirmed it. 5:15 on the dot. The knocks became more impatient as you made your way to the door. “Hold your horses, I’m coming.” You opened the door and looked at who you presumed to be the owner of the impatient voice you heard on the phone 45 minutes ago.

The first thing you noticed is that he was tall, a little over six feet. Slicked back red hair, pale skin, blue eyes, a handsome face drawn into a sneer as he looked at you. It was then that you realized you were still wearing your pajamas: a worn baggy shirt you’ve had forever and your fleece pants with the Grinch patterned all over them. For it was Saturday, and you were of the mind that if you weren’t going anywhere that day why put clothes on? You forgot you were still in your pajamas and your [y/h/l] [y/h/c] hair was messy and you weren’t wearing a bra. You tried to hide your shame and held the door open a little wider. “I assume you’re the man I talked to on the phone earlier? I never did catch your name.”

He edged past you, inspecting your apartment as he entered it. “You can call me Hux.” He scrutinized every last detail of the living room and kitchen area.

“Alright....Hux.” You tried to keep your aggravation with the redhead, apparently Hux, out of your voice. “The room is down here...” You led him to the empty room.

He followed you, inspecting this room just like the others. He let none of his thoughts appear on his face, you didn’t know if he liked the apartment, or you. You already felt uncomfortable.

“There is no en suite?”

“No, sorry. That would have cost extra...”

“Hmm.” He looked at you, getting impatient by the second.

At first you were confused, but then you realized he wanted you to show him the bathroom. “The bathroom is this way.” You lead him down the hall. The bathroom was across the hall from yours and the second bedroom. He could have easily found it himself...prick, you thought to yourself.

He inspected the bathroom and you assumed it met his standards when he turned to you and said, “Very well. Where is the paperwork I need to sign?”

You were flabbergasted. “We haven’t even come to an aggreement yet!”

Hux raised an eyebrow at you. “The room and bathroom situation are adequate. I have the money. What seems to be the problem?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. Yes, he was a raging asshole, but you did need to pay rent and utilities for the month...judging by his expensive looking suit he had to be well off...and you don’t adopt that stick up your ass demeanor for nothing...

You sighed and muttered, “Out here...” before leading Hux (is that his first name? What kind of name is that?) back out to the living room. Your landlord had given you the paperwork a week before, and was expecting you to find someone to fill the room by Monday. You tried to think of Hux as a blessing in disguise and not your worst nightmare as you handed him the paperwork and a pen.

He signed the paperwork and handed you an envelope bursting at the seams. He must have found the need to clarify because he added, “Two month’s rent and a security deposit, as mentioned.”

You were still a little shocked. “Who just carries around that much cash? Weren’t you worried about being robbed?”

He scoffed. “It’s not that much money.” You raised your eyebrow at him incredulously, but he considered that topic of conversation finished, adding “I will have my furniture delivered immediately.”

“What?! It’s the end of the day!”

He was not impressed. “I will supervise it, don’t worry. Maybe you should put some clothes on.” He went into his new room to make his phone calls.

You were feeling a mix of emotions. Chief of them was frustration and anger with your new roommate, Hux. If he has that much money, why doesn’t he just get his own place? Why put you through this? You almost chose not to change clothes just to spite him, but didn’t want the movers to see you in your pajamas any more than you wanted Hux to. You grumbled to yourself as you walked to your room to change into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. Still comfy, but more socially acceptable.

You were surprised at how soon the movers arrived. You helped where you could, which was not much. You mostly just held doors open or pointed the movers in the direction of things, as Hux didn’t seem to want you to touch his property. After leaving the movers a generous tip, he shut himself in his room.

You sighed out of pent up frustration and slumped onto your couch. You already knew this was going to be a bumpy ride...

#armitage hux x reader #hux x reader

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deliciousandfunthing · 3 years

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#30dayswritingchallenge

Day 18. Post 30 facts about yourself

Let's say I'm basically an open book. Many people can be sure of who I am, but the truth is many of them also don't really know me. I always show my interest and do the things I like openly without a doubt, but I hide my deeper feelings and opinions. Sometimes I rather just listen in silence with no opinion or questions cause I don't want to bother having a drama over something not trivial enough to make a difference in either me or the other person's life. Therefore, fact is most people know me but I still am hiding from them too. I guess everyone does the same, don't you think?

So, let's see the list of things people may or may not know about me..

1. I love food a little too much!

I actually have a strange taste some people may add because there's nothing bad in my food dictionary. Everything is either good, very good, or beyond yhis world HAHA.

2. I hate deep water.

Can't swim, scared of the unknown underwater world

3. But, I love fishes (?)

I hate water yet I love fishes. Aquarium is my comfort place. Always feel at peace and hyped in there.

4. Succulent/cactuses are my soul plant

I can't live without having them around. I feel overly attached to them and actually emotionally invested thinking that I'm kinda similar in character with the plant. Why? I believe cactus looks strong at the outside and can definitely managed living on its own but they long for care and love too.

5. I love cooking but not necessarily good at it.

I love to cook, but I have no confidence cooking for others cause what I thought are good sometimes mediocre or even bad for others. So yeah.. I just enjoy cooking for me.

6. I am passionate for arts and crafts.

Well, again not good at it, just happened to be easily drawn to it

7. A hopeless romantic.

I daydream a lot. Literally every day without any miss and I tend to wish for some kind or fairy tale happy ending. Life's not like that tho so yeah whatever

8. Obsessed with handwritten notes/letter

Always love writing to express my feelings whatever that is. It's a cheesy thing to do, many people would disagree of how this means a lot more than just usual exchange of words, but that's me for real.

9. More insecure than confident extrovert

Most people around me will see a very confident person who won't be afraid to take the lead, ask whatever questions, be noticeable in public, etc. But deep down that's me trying to prove myself to no one cause I have never been content with myself.

10. Oblivious to the core

I am insensitive af lol. I have no idea how I managed to get people open up to me and share their thoughts when most of the time I couldn't figure out what's going on with them.

11. Friendship is my top priority

Nothing comes before friends. I would put them first over anything and this is both a good and bad thing about me.

12. Hate hate hate ants

Somehow they always follow me everywhere

13. Should start taking more care of myself

Both emotionally and physically. I have been neglecting me too much

14. Always have a thing for astronomy

Mostly the stars and planets but love all about the space and its beings

15. Can't ride a bike..

Let's just say walking is already tough

16. Always fall or trip with no reason

This happen all the time. Like seriously all the time

17. In huge obsession for watermelon

In love with everything with it and about it. Just the best fruit in the whole wide world

18. Believe that relationship with God isn't about religion.

This is kinda deep and hard to understand by most people. I don't think I can understand it myself yet. But honestly, I love God and I am trying in my own way to keep building my relationship with Him. Yet, my ways may not be that common so, I always avoid conversation about religion.

19. Trying so hard to reach my life goals

Sometimes I thought to myself that maybe I tried too hard and forgot how it is to live my life

20. Wishing for what seems like a too perfect love life

As I said, I am a hopeless romantic. Honestly tho, my love life hasn't been straightforward and that's just exactly what I am wishing to get. A straightforward love, easy relationship with someone I and people around me can love. I'm so done with the complicated ones, but always ended up with one. I have no idea whether a straightforward love is an impossible wish or I just haven't had the right to find one.

21. Feel a little too childish for my age

I think I should be more mature at this age, yet I have no idea what it is to be mature

22. So in love with dancing

I always find my joy in dancing, whether it's just to let loose or actually doing it seriously. It's actually part of a dream future I have

23. Flowers attract me

A deep interest in flowers has always been in me. Somehow I feel like it's what connect me with my grandmother, but I also want to have my own garden to take care and share with my family in the future

24. Traveling to nature is the best quality time

I can say I had a quality time with people or even myself if we've shared a moment in nature and appreciating it together. Always worked up for a roadtrip to secluded beautiful places

25. I'll be 25 this year and it's nervewracking

I have no idea why but I kinda don't want to have a birthday this year. I want to stay 24 cause I don't want to be old

26. I'm scared of marriage, pregnancy, parenting, and all that follows

This is the truth I've been denying myself and hiding inside my head. I want to get married, have children, build a family, buy a house and all those adult stuff. But honestly I'm sh*t scared of it. Seeing many of my friends are already in that stages of life, I kinda don't want it. I don't feel ready or probably just simply terrified. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle all those things. I don't know ...

27. I may have live my life based on the current

Don't get me wrong I always tried my best in everything I do, I just haven't been able to see the point. I have goals and I want to achieve them. I dreamt and I live on track to realise them. Yet somehow I feel empty not knowing why I am pushing myself so much for these things.

28. I want to be recognised

Words of affirmation is my love language. I always long for an appreciation and recognition. I don't let it bother me or obviously showing it so people were tricked to saying nice things about me, but deep down I just know that I'd do everything to hear that I've done well and is helpful to people around me.

29. I'm selfish and obnoxious

There's no denying I tend to put my ego first and boast about how I have worked so hard to be the person I am. There are traits I like about me and I make sure people heard it

30. I still am trying to know me, the world, and whatever this life is

I may have said 29 things I thought I know about me, but it's keep on changing from time to time. Well, some do stay the same. Whether it's me from the past, me in the future or the current me, I just know that they all trying their best for each other. I may be a damsel in distress, a denial b*tch, a princess wannabe, a loving little woman, a nerdy chubby girl, some kind of overtime worker, weird obsessive foodie, or anything I am from any point of view, but I try and try and try to be true to myself to be a good person for most and to waste no time living in this indescribable world.

I am just me for who I am and who God says I am

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hauntedtaylors · 3 years

Text

evermore “sister songs” predictions

alright evermore, midnight.

taylor referred to this album as a “sister album” with folklore. i saw someone on twitter suggest that maybe that means the corresponding track numbers between folklore and evermore are connected.

so basically here are my connection predictions after seeing nothing more than the titles off evermore

ALSO I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT ILLICIT AFFAIRS SO THE ORDER IS COMPLETLY MESSED UP LMFAO WHOOPS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY I TRIED

track 1: the 1 x willow

- okay i’m literally writing this one last like i’ve already written all the other connections because i can’t really think of anything for this lmao

- i suspect that the theme of willow is gonna be like specifically like a willow tree ??

- idk i mean i’ve always interpreted the 1 as being from specifically taylor’s perspective so my only guess is that it’s like a reference to taylor’s personal life that we’re not expected to figure out lol

- i’m sorry this was a terrible start lmfao i swear they get better

- you can tell which ones i wrote first lol

track 2: cardigan x champagne problems

- okay i wrote the track 8 stuff first so most of what i’m gonna say is based off that

- so i think tracks 2/8/13 are gonna all gonna have the same theme, either that it’s like another side of the james/betty/august story or it’s a whole different story with different characters but like similar themes

- based on the name champagne problems, i think this song could be more like the august in the sense that it’s like telling the story of the cheating

- i think this time though it would be from the perspective of the cheater (the james), rather than the august, based on the use of the word “problems”, which i feel like reflects how james knew being with august was a mistake but everything just went by so quickly that they (james) couldn’t stop themselves and this song is almost like a reflection / reliving the mistakes

track 3: the last great american dynasty x gold rush

- okay i literally don’t know anything about rebekah harkness nor the gold rush but like the names give off the same vibes yk

- like idk what the gold rush was but it sounds like an american history thing and like rebekah harkness was a person in history yk and didn’t she like lose her money or something and like,,, like gold is money,,

- i def don’t know enough about the two subjects to be making points lmao but they just give me similar vibes and tlgad is one my favs off folklore so i’m excited for this

track 4: exile x ‘tis the damn season

- “i think i’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending”

- that’s me with like 90% of the holiday movies i watch (& ‘tis the damn season is literally my holiday catchphrase)

- so like in conclusion track 4 is for people that love the holidays but just can’t get on board with like holiday movies and music and like annoying family members yk

track 5: my tears ricochet x tolerate it

- taylor described in the long pond studio sessions that this song is like the story of someone who knows you so well that when they suddenly turn on you, they know exactly where to punch you so it hurts

- i think tolerate it could be like the story of a toxic relationship (platonic, romantic, etc) and how you know it’s not healthy but you’re too scared to be without this person that’s been in your life for so long that you just tolerate their terrible actions because you feel like you can’t leave

track 6: mirrorball x no body, no crime

- i’ll be honest, my first thought when i saw “no body, no crime” was “oh shit we’re back to vehicular manslaughter taylor” and now i can’t really move past that idea lmao

- anyway so in the long pond studio sessions, taylor discussed her story behind mirrorball and how it’s like she feels like she has to come out and perform and be this shining light for everybody and how she never stops performing until the last person is gone

- so like my interpretation is like it’s telling the story how of one day she just couldn’t keep performing and she like snapped or something and like i’m not saying necessarily that like ms swizzle pulled a classic bachelor(ette) movie trope and murdered someone and like hid the body but it’s like she snapped but she had to force herself to keep going and pretend like it never happened and continue to be that shining mirrorball for everybody

track 7: seven x happiness

- tw abuse

- okay i forget if there was like an actual confirmation of what seven is about but i very much interpret it as like young best friends who care for each other very much and one of them is living in an abusive household but they’re still somewhat protected by the bliss of ignorance to the terrible things and people in the world and they always dream about running away together and living out the dream life together that they imagine the world, beyond their home, to be

- so like happiness would kinda be a part 2 to seven where like they’re imagining themselves living out that dream life and they’re telling that story to distract themselves from the horrors that they’re facing at home in that moment

- i kinda imagine it like if it were a movie, the entire thing would be them living in pure bliss and peace together, not having to worry the world around them but then at the very end there’s like a cut and you see them crammed in a small space, hiding from the worst

track 8: august x dorothea

- idk who dorothea is lol i haven’t seen anyone say that the name is significant yet so i’m just gonna assume it’s a random name

- because it’s paired with august i think it could potentially be like another side to the same story (betty, james, august)

- or it’s like similar to cardigan/august/betty in the sense that it’s another story told from the perspectives of 3 different people and dorothea is like this story’s august (or maybe james/betty based on what i said for track 2)

track 9: this is me trying x coney island

- this is me trying not to puke on the rollercoaster

- this is me trying to stuff my fourth corndog down

- this is me trying to get that damn ring on the bottle to win that giant pink monkey

- this is me trying not to cry that coney island is still closed cause y’all can’t stay home while ms swift over here is literally staying in a cottage in the woods

- this is me trying to pretend i’ve been to coney island and i know what it is

- this is me trying to come up with a connection between the two songs which sound like they have nothing in common based off the names

- WAIT

- NO I GOT SOMETHING

- okay nvm i wrote this whole thing about this super detailed metaphor before remembering english is my worst class and it made no sense lol

- in conclusion this is me trying (and failing)

track 10: invisible string x ivy

- okay so ivy could be like the literal plant or like a name

- it obviously makes more sense for it to be a person, like she said invisible string was written after sending a baby gift to an ex or something

- idk how these are like related lol but maybe the ivy’s like a metaphor for something else in the invisible string story

track 11: mad woman x cowboy like me

- well they both have similar titles in the sense that they refer to a person or like a specific type of person

- are we getting a mad woman/cowboy love story

- it’s a love story, cowboy, just say yes

track 12: epiphany x long story short

- okay when i think of epiphanies and like the word epiphany, i think of like this long drawn out story or issue and then it’s like woah lightbulb

- i just think the titles alone have similar themes, they may not be related at all but i think they have potential to be

- like long story short could be like the telling of the epiphany yk?

track 13: betty x marjorie

- this is my third time describing this so yea in conclusion i think this is a betty/james/august situation

- i saw someone on twitter say that marjorie is the name of taylor’s grandmother or something ?? i might have made that up idk lol but maybe that’s like where the significance of the names come from this time

track 14: peace x closure

- the name’s of these songs give off such similar vibes

- they may not necessarily be like a part 1/part 2 type like the some of the other songs but i think they’ll be telling similar stories

- since peace was about taylor not being able to give the people in her life peace, this could be like a similar story like maybe it’s how she can never give closure to her former relationships because of the paps/press/media etc always prying in her personal life and like trying to determine which exes her songs are about etc so her exes never truly get closure or the opportunity to move on because the public never lets them forget

- kinda like when mr all too well posted that photo on instagram earlier this year and the comments were flooded with swifties lmfao like idk maybe they’ve like both moved on from that breakup etc (idfk it’s not my place to speculate) and everyone’s just like continuously reminding them of their past (this was just an example of like the themes of the song, i’m not tryna speculate about anything)

track 15: hoax x evermore

- i suddenly cannot remember any of the themes from hoax lmao im sorry

- all i remember from lpss is taylor talking about how she likes the word hoax

- evermore is such a cool word as well like maybe the theme is cool words

- i also think evermore is such a cool name for the album closer, i literally love her album closers so much bye

- change rights !!

track 16/17: the lakes x right where you left me x it’s time to go

- maybe she was left at the lakes

- and it’s like time to leave the lakes

- like it’s time to stop living that cottagecore fantasy and get back to work

- no im kidding pls take a break ms swift u work so damn hard ily

- and i think ur the only person that can combine work and cottagecore and make it so damn beautiful

the way i put a million times the effort into this as i’ve ever put into an english assignment damn

anyway i’m very excited

i’m extremely sleep deprived but excited

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylor swift #evermore #taylor nation #folklore

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