#i have written metas on him which were neutral
Text
Your First Kiss With Jason Todd
Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader
Summary:
Jason always thought he hated you. He did hate you.
Until he didn't.
Until his love for you ruined him in ways he couldn't even imagine.
Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader. Frenemies to Lovers. Pure Angst (Hurt, No Comfort). Set during Season 3.
Word Count: 8,200
DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: This fic is almost entirely angst - hurt, no comfort. This fic does not have a happy ending!!! So be warned of that before you enter here. Jason and the reader are described as ‘hating’ each other, but they are more like frenemies/annoyances - they have a playful banter (at the time, even they don’t know that they like arguing because it’s sexual tension and passion for each other); the reader is completely gender neutral - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours; this is mostly written from Jason’s POV (which is where most of the angst comes from); Jason describes himself as a ‘zombie’ or ‘half-alive’ - but he is fully alive and has all of his mental faculties, he is just freaked out about the fact that he was resurrected; the reader does not have any meta powers, but is described as being very good at combat (this does not denote the reader’s body type); mentions of sex and some sexual themes - but there is no outright smut and no detailed descriptions of sex; mentions of negative stereotypes surrounding frat boys/frat houses - including STDs and group sex (mentioned in a negative light); mentions of Jason masturbating (and thinking about the reader while doing it); mentions of Jason’s canon trauma (being kidnapped and tortured by Deathstroke, dropped off the building); mentions of Jason being killed by the Joker (and being ressurected by Crane); mentions of the reader mourning Jason’s death; mentions of drugs and drug addiction (based around the canon storyline of the anti-fear gas); mentions of Jason’s trauma surround his mother’s drug addiction; mentions of Jason killing Hank (as in the canon); the reader is kidnapped (by Crane or someone who works for Crane) and held hostage, and later rescued by Jason; somewhat graphic descriptions of violence (Jason beating up Crane, other background instances), gory descriptions of a death toward the end (mentions of acid burns and choking on non-breathable air); major character death - the reader character does die. Like I said - no happy ending. Sorry not sorry.
A/N: This is set during Season 3 - and this does feature spoilers for Season 3 if you haven't seen Titans before. So if you wanna watch the show spoiler free, definitely avoid this fic. I was imagining this to be set around episode 6 or episode 7, before Crane's plan to use the ice cream factory is taken down by the Titans, but obviously Jason breaking away from Crane's control so early goes against the canon - so there's that. Also, if you wanna pair some music with this for something truly heartbreaking, I would highly recommend the classic Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush, or the highly underrated Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3 (the lyrics are way more depressing than people realize, and I love it as a whump song. oomf). I also feel like the song Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny would go so well with this fic, but in like - the most devastating way. I haven't written something this cruel since I wrote Ghosting and I had so much fun doing it. You can't leave me alone with whump for too long, I turn into a monster. I need to go back to smut again quickly lmao.
...
Jason Todd was in love with you.
It was something that he hated himself for. Actually, it was one of the most infuriating, devastating facts in the world. But it was true. You were someone who was so entirely amazing. You were beautiful - literally the hottest person Jason had ever met who wasn’t photoshopped or catered to be some unrealistic daydream. You were clever and smart and strong. You could kick anybody’s ass on any day of the week and still have enough energy left to tell them how much of an idiot they were and list all of the reasons why.
And you would definitely never love Jason back. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he could ever have someone like you.
So he kept all of that stupid, idiotic love to himself. It was a secret that he had sworn to die with - and technically, he already had.
Jason tried not to linger on the very fucked up, seemingly impossible fact that he had come back from the dead. And now he was existing as some weird, fucked up zombie thing - resurrected from having his skull caved in by the Joker to do Jonathan Crane’s bidding. This definitely wasn’t what Jason would have wanted out of a renewed life - but hey: when an Arkham prisoner gives you rotten lemons.
When Jason wasn’t beating down drug dealers, stealing money, or strapping bombs to people - when he was trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he had died and he was now living some strange half-life, reliant on Crane’s drugs, he was thinking about you. He thought about you a lot.
He hadn’t come into contact with you since his strange foray back into the land of the living. That was probably for the best. He knew that you had freshly come back to Gotham, upon Dick’s request. Nightwing had called for backup from all the ex-Titans to help end Red Hood’s reign of terror. Jason wanted to stay as far away from you as possible.
Genuinely, he didn’t want you getting caught in the crossfire of whatever Crane was planning. He wished you had stayed out of Gotham, but he knew that you were too loyal, too good not to come to the aid of the Titans when they needed you. He couldn’t reveal himself to you just for a taste of nostalgia - one last argument before you sold him down the river for good. But fuck - he thought about you a lot.
When the two of you had first met, you were the last person he ever thought that he would surrender that stupid, soft label of love to. Even months into first knowing you - he would have said that he hated you. He would have told anybody that he found you to be the most annoying person on earth.
Your relationship used to be the worst kind of dance.
Every single time that Jason opened his mouth, you said something to contradict him. To a point, he believed that you didn’t even fully stand behind the things you said - you just enjoyed arguing against him. That you did it for sport. You used every single last bit of your time and energy to get under his skin. From mocking him to calling him a fuckboy to prodding at his grammar, poking holes in his points by smugly correcting him. He always found you to be the most infuriating person in any room. But it seemed that the more frustrated he got with you, the more cool headed you remained.
He tried to mock you back, and you shrugged it off. Every time he became visibly annoyed in your presence - you giggled. He wanted to strangle you.
And it was one fated day that he realized the line between heat fueled by frustration and heat fueled by lust truly weren’t that different.
…
“Jason! I thought I smelled you coming down the hall!”
Jason groaned when he heard you make this comment.
He thought that for once, he could have some peace to train alone - but it appeared that he would have no such luck. You were already in the training room, holding a long bo-staff as you ran some drills. Apparently, you were eager to exercise your mouth too - already whipping off clever insults the minute that Jason entered the room.
When all he could muster was a glare in your direction, you let out a giggle. His blood boiled.
“Between that god awful Axe body wash and that alcohol based aftershave that you like to drown yourself in, you smell like a walking frat house.” You continued, blabbering on even though Jason had made no efforts to engage you. At least not yet. “Just throw in some Busch Light and weed, and I might be able to catch gonorrhea just from the stench.”
That was the nerve that hooked Jason into the conversation. First of all - he smelled fucking delightful. He always made hygiene one of his personal priorities. He was absolutely not one of those guys with crusty, sweaty balls. And second of all - he was not one of those STD spreading manwhores. He was clean in all senses. He always used a condom.
“Sounds like you’ve got experience with that.” Jason quipped back.
He looked to you for some kind of reaction, some inkling that he had gotten under your skin even a fraction of the way that you did his. His movements were rough with annoyance as he began wrapping his knuckles with tape so he could have a few rounds with the heavy bag - mostly out of a need to pound out his frustration on something. He was getting too angered with your presence in the room and not wanting to snap and take it out on you. (He already had enough on his record with Bruce, and despite popular opinion - he was trying to improve.)
When you weren’t quick to respond, Jason continued.
“You used to letting frat boys all over you? You seem like the type of person who would enjoy a good, sloppy frat house train. Twenty guys, one after the other, none of them knowing your name, just because you’re so needy for a good fuck.”
Jason grinned, feeling like he had won this conversation with the essence of shock alone.
But no. As always, you remained cool. You grinned right back at him, stepping toward him, crowding into his personal space as you said your next words in a low, smooth voice.
“Sounds like you spend an awful lot of time picturing me running a train.” You smirked. “Is that why you’re always so late getting up in the morning? You wake up and the first thing you do is get a hand on your dick, imagining me getting fucked by a lineup of guys? Probably just wishing that one of them was you.”
Jason’s face fell flat.
You were so strikingly confident in your words that it made his stomach twist. Facing him down, speaking such filthy words without flinching - embarrassment and heat collided inside of him. Even more so with what you did next.
You put a hand out in front of your crotch, mimicking the motions of jacking off while you mocked him in a broken voice.
“Oh, oh fuck Y/N! Come on! Take my sloppy, frat house cock!”
You then mocked a whiny series of moans that must have been Jason’s fake orgasm - and while Jason’s insides bubbled with a confusing heat, you quickly dissolved off into laughter.
“Shut up.” Jason snapped, forcing his eyes down to focus on the process of taping himself up - praying that you wouldn’t see the heat that had spread across his cheeks. “You’re the fucking worst.”
“Only when I’m with you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss - to which he stuck his middle finger up at you.
He was eternally thankful when you went back to your own training in silence, only taking occasional glances up in his direction.
…
After that point, Jason had to admit to himself that he was attracted to you, at the very least. He could no longer deny that you were insanely attractive; you were a very, very hot person. And somehow, even past your annoying habits, he was being drawn into the orbit of your gorgeous looks and your wonderfully cocky, filthy mouth.
But he still hated you. He definitely still hated you.
He hated it even more when you became right - and you did become the object of some of his more heated fantasies. He became downright annoyed at the times he had his hand around his cock and imagined himself hate fucking you - imagined forcing every cocky retort out of your mouth, imagining you breathless and needy beneath him, begging for more with every hard push of his hips.
He hated how everything changed after Doctor Light.
Jason wasn’t thinking about your stupid beautiful cocky mouth after that. His mind was full of glass and he was being shredded from the inside out. He came home broken. After everything that happened with Deathstroke and Doctor Light - he was some fragile bird; some chewed up, used, pitiful thing. He didn’t have the energy to fight you anymore, not even for sport.
So after he was rescued, still floating in numbness, he didn’t know what to do when you burst into his room unannounced. You practically shoved the door off its hinges, and stormed across the room toward him - tears hot in your eyes. You pounded curled fists against his chest, screaming at the top of your lungs. Half of your words were static in his ears, but the tone of your voice pierced through his heart like an arrow. You called him stupid, asking where in his empty head he had gotten the idea to go off by himself.
Jason didn’t have it in him to fight you. So he broke down.
He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for crying in front of you. But his throat was tight and he choked on the tears - he was too tired. He just couldn’t hold them back. He screamed back, and asked you to lay off. To get off his fucking back.
You looked shocked. Like you had swallowed a piece of glass.
You surprised him when you uncurled your fists and wrapped the most tender, gentle hands around his back, and for the first time since he had known you - you embraced him in a hug. He was weak and he needed it more than he was willing to admit, so he let you. He sobbed against your neck, his own cries too loud that he missed the timid sound of your apology.
That wasn’t the only time you surprised him that week.
He knew it was because he was some broken little bird, but you started taking care of him. You brought him plates of food without being asked, and when he attempted to shove them away - you refused. You told him to eat before you had to ‘shove it down his fucking throat’.
You didn’t mock him. You didn’t correct him. And you surprised him even more when you turned the sharpness of your tongue on the others when they tried attacking Jason. They accused him of planting booze in Hank’s room or drawing crosses on Rachel’s mirror to fuck with her, among other things. And you popped veins in your neck going on a winding rant about how stupid and baseless their accusations were.
Jason wasn’t sure if you knew it, but you jumping to his defense wrapped him in a blanket of protection that he had never before felt. It was so entirely strange, but welcomed coming from you. Especially because he knew that it was genuine. He knew that you didn’t have any ulterior motives for doing this - for some reason, you just wanted to help him.
When you extended an invitation toward him to come with you as the group dispersed, torn apart by Dick’s nasty, festering secret - Jason felt welcomed by you. He knew that the dynamic between the two of you was changing at a breakneck speed, and he had to embrace it. He found himself eager to follow the weird, newly developing kinship that he had with you rather than wanting to stay in the empty coldness of the Tower with a brooding Dick.
From there, it was really difficult for Jason to pin down the exact moment that his feelings transitioned toward you from casual lust to something more. He couldn’t tell exactly when it turned into that panic-inducing, ‘oh my god, I’m fucked’ feeling of being in love. After leaving San Francisco, during the entirety of the time that the two of you were in Gotham together, your relationship remained completely platonic.
It was a few short weeks spent kicking ass as the best vigilante duo the city had ever seen, but there wasn’t a single moment Jason could point to where the two of you lit up with that romantic spark. It wasn’t some romcom bullshit come to life. It was just the two of you being friendly for once. The two of you helping each other survive.
Back then - Jason wanted you, badly. Even if he didn’t know just how badly, he wasn’t going to fuck up the whole dynamic just to get laid. He felt safe with you. He kicked ass with you. He was good with you. And during that short time - he was happy. So he wasn’t going to do anything to risk that happiness. Happiness was too rare for him. So why the hell would he try putting the moves on you, scare you away, and fuck it all up?
…
A little slice of that happiness came in the form of Hal’s Diner. It was a place in downtown Gotham, open twenty four hours, and you and Jason had gotten into the habit of stopping there after your patrols.
The two of you would kick some ass - break the legs of some drug dealers, make sure that women got home safe if they were walking late at night, keep the streets a little safer. And then you would change out of your patrol outfits and head to the diner, just as the sun was rising over the scummy streets of Gotham. You would get breakfast and Jason would get dinner. He would steal one of your eggs and you would take half his burger, and you would always comment about him putting way too much ketchup on his plate.
It was harmony.
“You know, every time I see you make a grown man cry, it brings me such intense joy.” Jason grinned as he said this, reminiscing about a beautiful moment from earlier in the night.
He spoke about it in the same manner that someone might reminisce about seeing a relative or a cute puppy. But this was natural for the two of you - since you had taken up vigilantism as a duo, violence was a sweet art for the two of you.
“Well, if he would have left that girl alone the first time I asked, I wouldn’t have broken his arm.” You shrugged, speaking very casually about it yourself.
You then picked a piece of bacon up off your plate and took a bite, grinning at Jason fondly. You did appreciate it when he complimented your skills.
Jason chuckled.
“You know, it is nice to see you using your powers for good instead of evil.” He commented.
“My powers?” You parroted back, your mouth half busy with chewing, your words slightly muffled.
You didn’t have any metahuman powers, so this comment did leave you slightly confused.
“Yeah.” He nodded, entirely confident in the statement he had to follow. “Your endless amount of energy to harass people and be endlessly annoying. The powers you used to spend all your time using on me.”
“You used to deserve it.” You were quick with your tongue as usual, not missing a beat with this statement.
Jason’s only rebuttal was to pick up a french fry - one not doused in ketchup - and throw it at your head. You flinched slightly when it bounced off your forehead - but when it landed in your lap, you easily picked it up and put it in your mouth, not thinking twice about doing so as you tossed Jason a wicked grin.
That. That must have been the moment.
That was the moment he realized that he was truly in love with you. You grinning at him from across the table, your smile lighting up your whole face, playing around with him like he actually made you happy. Like he could spend the rest of his life making you happy.
That’s why it hurt so much more when your phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later. When you told him that it was the Titans - Gar in trouble. That’s why it hurt so fucking much when you left.
Jason knew, in hindsight, that he should have gone with you. But he flailed like a rabbit caught in a snare, and rather than just agreeing with you, he felt the trap tightening around him, and he opted to chew off his own foot rather than simply letting you help him free.
He stupidly argued that it was some test from Dick. That the Titans could deal with their own problems. Jason knew that deep down, he was still tender from everything that had happened - Dick dropping him, even by accident. The accusations, the secrets. The rejection. He felt like he was laying down a line - he was letting you make a choice.
Him or the Titans.
But it shouldn’t have been a choice. It was Gar. Jason should have stood by his friend. He should have gone with you.
Deep down, Jason feared that if he did go with you - the Titans wouldn’t want him back. He feared another cutting rejection. They would simply bench him again, they wouldn’t even need him to help save Gar. They wouldn’t want him to help. He was useless, after all. He was careless and stupid. That was why he needed you to choose him. To stay.
That was what his mind was screaming out as you looked at him, disappointment flooding your eyes as you questioned him about Gar, about going back to the Titans.
Stay. He silently begged. Pick me.
And watching you snatch up your jacket in a huff and get up from the table, your food barely touched - his eyes boring into your back as you retreated - it was like having his heart carved out of his chest. And because he was so fucked up, he just sat there. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He didn’t chase you.
He let you go.
Having you suddenly disappear from his life was like missing a limb. Jason was constantly aching around your non-presence, constantly missing you. He felt torn up from the inside out, wondering if his frayed nerve endings would ever heal themselves. When he went to Donna’s funeral, he stared at you from across the tarmac - telling himself that if you even so much as glanced in his direction, he would cross that sickly one hundred foot black sea and talk to you. He would make the leap and apologize.
But you were fettered and stubborn and you kept your head straight. You knew it was the ultimate punishment not to acknowledge him. So the moment that the plane took off, Jason shoved on his helmet and sped off on his bike.
He easily became numb after that.
He went back to Bruce - to lay low and lick his wounds, or because it was the only place he knew, he wasn’t sure. He tried to be a Robin that wasn’t with you. It didn’t work. He felt more broken than ever. It was cheesy, pathetic bullshit - but he talked about you in therapy. Leslie encouraged him to reach out to you, but every time Jason’s fingers hovered over your contact in his phone, his hands shook, and all he remembered was the look of pure scorn you had given him before you snatched up your things and left the diner that day.
He thought of you as he suited up to go after the Joker. He considered how easy it would be for the two of you to take down the stupid clown together - how flawlessly the two of you worked as a team.
Jason thought of you as he drew his last breath, soaked in blood and struggling past the world-ending pain. He wondered, in a haze, if you were warm in your bed in The Tower while he was pressed into the cold ground, taunted by the laughter that rung in his ears.
…
Jason didn’t know how hard you cried for him when you heard the news of his death.
You wouldn’t have dared to say that the hole in the middle of your chest was caused by love - caused by the heartbreak of a lover being stolen. But you certainly felt robbed when you heard that the Joker had killed him. You seethed and you heavily considered marching toward Gotham to seek revenge.
You knew that Dick was angry with Bruce for finally giving in to what the Joker wanted and killing him. For finally ending their sick, twisted game. But when you found out - you were glad that the clown was dead. You wrapped one of Jason’s stolen shirts around your pillow, and you slept a bit easier at night.
…
Jason knew that he should have left town.
Crane claimed that Red Hood was going to be the next Batman - that he was going to be something the Bat never could. That he was going to actually keep the streets safe. But so far, all Jason had done was steal, kill, terrorize, torture. Crane spoke of omelets and breaking eggs - pigs and bacon, and ‘marketing’ himself to the public. But truly, it never made any real sense to Jason.
Jason knew that now, he was the type of man lurking in the night whose arm you would have broken if he was lingering too closely to the vulnerable. And you would have been right for doing so.
Jason was tired. He felt lost - directionless. He was getting tired of Crane’s bullshit. He missed you. But he knew that he couldn’t just go running back to you. You likely wouldn’t have accepted him back into your life if he did.
When Crane called him in that night, wanting to discuss ‘the game plan’ - Jason was worn. His patience for all of it was already wearing thin, and what happened next - it truly caused him to snap.
Jason showed up in full gear, wearing the costume of an alias he no longer believed in; foolishly dressed up as someone he had truly begun to resent. He was holding his helmet in hand, his heavy boots clunking on the floor as he dodged around Crane’s egghead lackeys - a random group of people who were working to convert the anti-fear gas into a larger batch. He knew that they were aiming to get more and more people in the city hooked; if Jason hadn’t abandoned his morals in this new life, he might have cared more about the consequences.
Instead, he made a B-line for Crane, who was typing away at something on the computer.
“Jason, my boy!” Crane grinned at him, giving a false, performative grin over his shoulder. “Lovely evening, isn’t it?”
“What do you want?” Jason asked, his tone flat.
He was far too tired of Crane to engage in more word play or stupid riddles.
“Never one for pleasantries, are you?” Crane chuckled.
Jason didn’t offer him a reply - seemingly confirming his theory with this simple act.
Truthfully, he wasn’t. He wasn’t feeling very pleasant today. He hadn’t felt very pleasant any day since he had been so rudely pulled from the morgue and zombified to do someone else’s bidding against his will. Being an undead puppet didn’t really make a person all that pleasant.
Crane reached into the pocket of his oddly quaint grandpa sweater and pulled something out - a small glass vial, containing some clear liquid. It looked harmless - like water. But Jason knew Crane, and he knew that whatever it was must have been entirely dangerous if Crane was carrying around such a small dose of it.
“Do you know what this is?” He asked, giving the vial a small shake, jostling the liquid inside to emphasize his point.
Jason hesitated before he shook his head in the negative. He hated to appear clueless and stupid around such an intelligent man, but he didn’t want to guess and be wrong. He knew that being misinformed around Crane was dangerous. But being cocky and pretending to know more than Crane was even more dangerous.
“This is a very highly concentrated form of liquid Methadone.” Crane explained. “It’s a highly addictive substance. And I think it’s going to give the mass market version of your formula that little extra kick that it needs, ya know? Keep the people coming back for more!”
He let out a bright chuckle, as though he was talking about a cleaning product that was marketed on an infomercial or some kind of great recipe for soup. That was one of the things that scared Jason the most about Crane - his ability to talk about life changing, deadly things with such jarring enthusiasm. He truly thought of bringing people their worst nightmares and their most painful deaths as ‘beautiful work’.
“What about it?” Jason prodded quietly.
He knew that Crane hadn’t called him here just to brag about a new idea to add something to the formula. He needed Jason for something.
Jason just hoped that he wasn’t looking to use him as a guinea pig again. He would likely rather die again than go down the path of heavy drugs. One thing he had vowed - he wouldn’t end up like his mother.
“Well, you see, my boy, that’s where you come in.” Crane grinned at him. “Due to its highly addictive qualities, Methadone is also a highly regulated substance. But because I am the wonderfully well-connected man that I am, I happen to know that there is a very large stash of it just sitting there, ripe for the taking, in this quaint little building uptown.”
Jason’s gut stirred with suspicion.
“Where uptown?” He asked.
“Well, it’s just-” Crane stuttered, and then sighed, deciding to get it out and over with. “The Wayne Memorial Cancer Research Facility.”
Jason glared at him.
“But see, it’s fine! Because I happen to know someone who knows their way around the Wayne Tech security systems very well. So Red Hood breaks in there, gets me my-”
“No.” Jason said flatly, before he turned and started to walk away. “Find somebody else. We’re done.”
Crane had threatened to replace him before. Crane had no-so-subtly threatened to kill him alongside being replaced. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Jason would be better off dead. Maybe Crane would find out that Jason was irreplaceable after all. Maybe Jason was a dirty, seedy criminal shaped by life for only one thing: ruining the lives of others. If Jason couldn’t do that, he wasn’t sure what he would do.
But he wasn’t going to fucking do this.
Killing was one thing. Stealing from drug dealers and mobsters was another. What he had done to Hank had crossed too many lines - but it didn’t even begin to approach the lines that this crossed.
Stealing from a facility that Thomas and Martha had set up when Bruce was just a child, shitting all over their legacy, using skills that Bruce had taught him in order to do it? That was too far. Jason couldn’t say that he had morals anymore, but he still had that voice of common decency in the back of his head yelling at him to stop it. Maybe it was your voice, correcting him at every turn the way you used to.
He should listen to that voice.
He should leave town.
“Hold on, hold on there, Jaybird!” Crane called after him.
The pure annoyance that the nickname caused was the only thing that stopped Jason. He considered turning around and shooting Crane just to shut him up.
“See, I think you forget how this works.” The man went off again - talking in that humming tone he always used that made Jason’s ears numb, made his brain switch off. “Every loyal dog gets a treat. A little motivation to get that Pavlovian mind barking in the right direction.”
Jason turned back around then.
“Nothing you say ever makes any fucking sense.” He barked out, ready to leave Crane with these as his last remarks before he left Gotham forever.
But then Crane tapped at a few things on his keyboard and pulled something up on the monitor - a dark, grainy video feed that had Jason squinting his eyes and walking closer to get a better look.
When Jason was able to truly take in the scene - his stomach dropped.
It was you.
You were sitting alone in some anonymous, concrete warehouse - probably in the industrial district of Gotham, if Jason had to guess. Crane didn’t like to keep his insurance policies too far away, he liked to play it close to the vest. You were tied to a chair, duct tape tight over your mouth, very much there against your will. You were looking straight ahead, with the camera angled down from the top corner of the room. Even through the grainy, black and white footage, Jason could see the wetness of tears streaking down your face.
You were terrified.
Jason’s helmet clattered to the floor, slipping from his grip as the shock overtook his system.
For the first time in weeks, fighting through the numbness of the drugs and the hazy shock of his new half-life - he was terrified too. Then he was angry. Rage bubbled up inside of him like a sharp, acidic bile.
“What the fuck have you done?” Jason growled out, the anger setting his jaw so tight that the words could barely escape between his teeth.
“I told you - every loyal dog gets a treat.” Crane said, a barely contained glee filtering through his voice as he peered over Jason’s shoulder at your weeping face on the screen.
He clapped a large hand on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason felt himself nearly choke on his own tongue - so swollen with anger that it barely fit in his mouth.
“So, go fetch, doggie.” Crane continued. “Go get me what I need. Otherwise, that sweet little treat of yours is gonna play dead.”
Crane leaned over and whispered those last words into Jason’s ear - and that was what truly caused him to snap.
In a flash, Jason grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder, whipped Crane around - there was a loud crack as Jason broke Crane’s arm. The egghead types who were working on the formula all paused; some of them gasped or hid behind things, but none of them were brave enough to intervene. Jason shoved Crane’s face into the monitor, cracking it out like a spider’s web but never fully obscuring the image of that dark, cold warehouse - the place where you were alone and terrified.
He twisted Crane’s broken arm, making a sound like glass grinding in on itself, and the man let out a howl.
“I think you forget how this works.” Jason barked at him, his voice so dark with rage that it almost sounded like he was wearing Red Hood’s voice modulator even though his helmet was on the floor at Crane’s feet. “When dogs get pissed off - they bite.”
He twisted the injury again, and Crane let out another bitter howl.
Jason demanded to know where you were, and Crane squeaked out an address. It was in the industrial district, so it checked out in Jason’s mind. It didn’t seem like a trap or a false answer to waste his time.
Jason shoved the pathetic, useless man to the ground, kicked him in the gut for good measure, and then leaned down to grab his helmet before shoving it on. He would need it in case Crane had anybody stationed there, guarding you.
Crane shouted something at him as he walked away, but Jason was barely paying attention - now very singular minded on his mission toward you.
“You have to learn to play by the rules, Red!” Crane choked out. “You won’t like how this ends! I made you! I fucking made you!”
…
Jason was surprised to find the building empty. No guards, seemingly no bombs, no gas canisters. At first, he thought it really was a trick, a misdirect to waste his time. But when he had just about given up hope of finding you, searching one of the back most rooms that used to serve as overflow storage for Ace Chemicals - he found you. Concrete and anonymous, some of the beams having eroded away in places from improper chemical storage.
When you saw him stalking toward you - his gun drawn, heavy boots thudding against the floor, modulator puffing out heavy, mechanical breaths - you let out a terrified whimper past the duct tape and more tears flowed freely down your face.
Jason felt a twinge of guilt. Of course. You had no clue it was him.
Perhaps he could get away with the mercy of never revealing himself to you. He could keep his mask on, release you, drop you back off with the Titans and then leave town. But eventually, Dick would tell you who he was.
At the very least, he could give you the comfort of seeing a familiar face after the hell you had been through. You were wearing a sweatshirt and simple cotton pants, and running shoes - it looked like you had been plucked off the street during a jogging session. He could only imagine how much Crane’s lackeys had scared you.
Once he was confident that the area was secure, he holstered his gun and then reached up, removing the face mask from his helmet and tossing it aside.
“Hey, hey, it’s me.” He told you - attempting to be gentle and soothing in his voice.
He approached you slowly, not wanting you to be scared as he reached to his belt for a knife - only with the intention to cut the ropes around your torso, wrists, and ankles.
He watched your expression as you flashed through a range of emotions - deep confusion, a bit of relief, sadness, and then strangely - burning anger. You glared at him with the most intense rage he had ever seen from you - more intense even than the day you had stormed into his room and called him stupid and suicidal for going after Doctor Light without backup.
Jason was slightly afraid of the lecture that would come next, but nonetheless, he knelt beside you and began cutting you free.
The minute that one of your hands was free, you reached up and ripped the duct tape off your mouth. You took only a fraction of a second to wince in pain from the tender skin of your lips being disturbed before you began verbally tearing into him.
“Jason Todd!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, so loudly that Jason was sure some of the edges of the corroded concrete pebbled off and fell down just from this. “Jason fucking Todd! I should have known you had something to do with this!”
“Wh-?”
Before Jason could question your odd choice of words or even recognize it as an accusation, you raised your other freshly free hand and slapped him squarely across the cheek - it was a hard, skull-shaking clatter. It had Jason dizzy, falling back onto his ass and dropping the knife before he could finish cutting the ropes around your legs.
“Fucking ow!” Jason griped, reaching up to grab his now very red cheek.
“You are such an asshole! Of all the completely idiotic, stupid things you have ever done-”
“I didn’t fucking kidnap you! Okay? I didn’t do shit!” Jason quickly argued back, finally now realizing that you thought he had put you here in the first place. “I’m here to rescue you!” He said each of these words slowly, looking you in the eyes, hoping that his point would get across more firmly this way.
There was a tense moment as you stared back at him with your jaw locked. It was likely that if your feet hadn’t still been tied, you would have run away - or kicked him. Jason was thankful that you couldn’t do either at the moment.
“Why?” You asked, finally breaking the tension.
“What?” Jason gaped.
This was the last thing he had been expecting.
He was saving you - why were you questioning him?
“Why are you ‘rescuing’ me?” You asked, taunting his phrasing of it with a mocking tone and large air quotes. He now regretted freeing your hands. “So you can bargain me off to Dick for ransom money? So you can put a bomb in my chest?”
You said the last part with intense disdain, tears dancing in your eyes.
So you did know what a monster he was.
He was surprised that you hadn’t hit him harder.
Jason heaved a sigh. He reached over and picked up the knife, very slowly, very tentatively resuming cutting the ropes on your legs to free you.
“I’m just freeing you so that you can be free. That’s it.” He said quietly, defeat lacing through every inch of his voice. “You don’t deserve this.”
He cut the last rope and folded the knife, sticking it back in his belt. He stood up then and caught a glimpse of your face - you were wearing the most complex expression he had ever seen. Perhaps confusion, perhaps anger. Maybe somewhere deep in your eyes - hurt.
He turned and moved to leave, hoping you would simply follow him out of the confusing maze of the building and he wouldn’t have to drag you out kicking and screaming.
“That’s not an answer.” You told him, your tone sharp and certain - the same tone you always used to correct him.
Jason whipped back around then, heaving a sigh as he looked at you - standing in the middle of the room now, arms folded over your chest, glaring at him on the spot. Cocky and so sure about yourself. Too damn certain and immobile in your points. Infuriating.
“Why the fuck do you have to make everything so damn complicated?” Jason shot back, annoyance and dread tight in every inch of him. “Why do you have to interrogate me about every damn thing that I do?”
“Because you make stupid ass decisions when I don’t.” You easily fired back. “Now tell me: why are you doing this?”
“Because I wanted to.” Jason huffed.
“Why?” You prodded again.
He let out another hot huff, and you didn’t let it go.
“Come on Jason!” You shouted, increasing in volume as you became more frustrated with his lack of an answer. “You didn’t just develop a conscience all of a sudden! Why did you feel the need to suddenly drop everything and come to my rescue? What makes me different than Hank? What makes me different than-?”
It was the annoyance grinding on him. It was a combination of your nagging voice, the lack of drugs in his system for the first time in weeks. The rawness of the world ragging on his last good nerve. The sound of your voice putting him in line - exactly where he was supposed to be. The way you reminded him of the truth now more than ever.
“Because I’m in love with you!” Jason shouted.
It was almost… angry. It was a declaration that hit you like a whip - more like an insult than something warm and kind. It wasn’t made of sweetness, like some moment from a film with a gentle piano riff wrapped around it. It was real - made of the haunting kind of passion that kept Jason awake at night.
Your eyes widened. Jason’s breathing stilled as he waited for you to react - to say something.
“Oh.” Your voice cracked around this syllable, and your eyes danced with more tears.
Jason felt his own heart crack apart inside of his chest, more terror flooding him.
He had died with the secret because he had never wanted to live up to the embarrassing vulnerability of confessing it. In the deepest part of his mind, he had lived this horror a thousand times. Him finally creeping out onto the edge of oblivion - speaking those words. Confessing. And then you stabbing him in the heart, rejecting him.
The reality of it ripped through him so much harder than it ever had in his nightmares.
Any last tiny piece of his soul that had survived being murdered by the Joker had just been shattered by you.
“Yeah. Fucking oh.” Jason echoed back, his own tears clutching at his throat.
Seeing him with that naked vulnerability dancing behind his eyes - it reminded you of the same person who came back from being kidnapped by Doctor Light. It reminded you of the real Jason you had gotten to know.
In that moment, it all came crashing toward you. You gasped harshly as you could barely breathe around it.
That hole in your chest had been shaped like a lover - it had been shaped like him. Filled with the pain of letting him get hurt, leaving him alone in Gotham to be murdered by the Joker. Filled with the doubt and confusion of never knowing what could have been between the two of you if you had chased those flirtations a little bit farther.
And now, he was standing right here in front of you, somehow perfectly alive and well - and there was only one possible thing you could do.
“Jason.” You gasped out his name, unable to fathom more words.
Before he could move, you reached out and grabbed both sides of his face, one of them still singed with a burning ache where you had slapped him so hard - and you pulled him into a kiss, hard.
It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t dainty or smooth like some Hollywood love confession - it was hungry. Bordering on feral as you both fought to consume more of the other person, bleeding out little moans and fighting for breath past each other’s lips. Jason’s hands rushed to embrace you, wrapping around your back and grabbing a needy, possessive handful of your ass while you kept your grip tight on his face, keeping his face forcefully close to your own as you devoured his mouth.
You felt some of his tears escape - such a rush of emotions making him raw and unable to hold them back, and you moaned pitifully into his mouth as he wetness slipped underneath your palms. Whatever it was - his pain, his pleasure; you would take it. He was all yours now.
…
Far off, on the other side of Gotham, Crane chuckled quietly to himself as he watched the scene unfold. He had pulled up the camera feed on a separate tablet, seeing as Jason had used his head to crack the monitor. With his broken arm bound in a temporary sling, he used his one good hand to pull something out of a drawer - a remote with a single button.
“For these violent delights have violent ends,” He recited to himself, still grinning widely as he looked at the two lovers in the grainy, black and white footage. “And in their triumph, die like fire and powder. Which as they kiss, consume. Even the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, if the taste confounds the appetite.” Crane poised his finger on the button. “Therefore, love moderately.”
He pressed down, and dissolved into more epic laughter as he watched what came next.
…
You were only human, and you could only kiss Jason for a few minutes before your brain demanded oxygen. As much as you hated to pull away from the sweet, bruising sting of his lips, you forced yourself back and immediately took in a sharp breath that turned into a rolling pant - Jason let out a needy whine in protest.
With his arms holding you so securely and the dizzying heat now flowing through you - you almost didn’t catch it. But it was there, in the background, something steadily present that wasn’t there before.
Beeping. A small, electronic beeping.
“Do you hear that?” You asked Jason, squinting your eyes with confusion and looking around, trying to find the source of the noise.
He did hear it.
“Fuck.” Jason mumbled.
Panic flooded him. The whole thing had been a trap.
He pulled away from you hesitantly and grabbed his mask up off the ground, snapping it back on.
“We have to go. Now.” He told you, his voice now sharp and robotic through the voice filter as he grabbed your wrist and began dragging you away - you became limp to his direction for once and simply followed, fear tight in your gut once again.
Jason didn’t want to consider the possibilities, but he knew it could be anything from a large bomb, meant to tear you to shreds, to a large dose of fear gas waiting to be deployed. And he didn’t have an antidote at the moment. He needed to get you out of the building and transport you to safety.
When the two of you came to a door - one of the many that Jason had passed through on his way in - it snapped shut in Jason’s face. It was on some kind of mechanical locking system, that much was apparent. Jason rushed forward, trying to pry it open - but it was welded steel, and it wouldn’t budge.
Jason heard more slamming - more metal forcing itself shut on the same locking system.
“Jason?” You croaked, that unsure terror back in your voice again. Something so rare for you. You were looking to him for answers. You were looking to him to rescue you.
Overhead, the last bits of light were shut out - glimpses of the street lights outside - as thick metal shudders collapsed down over the windows. The room was sealing itself shut, becoming air tight.
“Stand back.” Jason told you, not waiting to see if you followed the instruction before he pulled out one of his guns and began shooting at the door’s heavy metal hinges. He knew it was futile and he feared that one of the bullets might ricochet off and hit you, but he didn’t have many options left.
Then he heard it. The gentle hissing of gas being released into the air.
Jason was naive to have hoped that it was Crane’s classic Fear Gas - that would have been a merciful walk in the park compared to what he had planned for you. Betraying Jonathan Crane meant that Jason had to be truly punished.
Jason turned to you, wrapping his arms around you, as if trying to shield you from the air itself - but it was too late. You began coughing and struggling to breathe, and Jason looked on with confusion as his chest twisted with guilt.
With his helmet on, he felt nothing. For the first few moments, he didn’t even understand what was going on as you gasped for air, struggling to form a word as you choked on each breath. Jason had no clue what the substance was or how he could fix it, looking on in horror as thick fog clouded around your ankles - your eyes bulging out of your head as you struggled for oxygen.
“Y/N?” Jason gasped, holding you by both shoulders as you became weaker and leaned on him. “Y/N?”
You couldn’t answer him.
You continued to wheeze, your breath hitching against your throat harshly. As the fog reached up to touch your face, it left angry, blistering marks in your skin. Unlike Jason, you had no armor to protect yourself - and somehow, Crane had turned the air itself acidic. Your eyes became wrecked with bloody red streaks and your face swelled as you continued to choke.
Jason’s insides screamed, but he felt too still.
As more of the fog touched you, some of the marks on your neck and your cheek blistered more and opened up, bleeding out pinkish bubbling puss as Jason continued to hold you - he didn’t know what else to do.
All he could do was hold you.
A harsh foam seeped out of your mouth as you choked on your last half-breath, and Jason felt a stinging pain consuming him - he wasn’t sure if it was the acidic fog finally breaching through his clothing, or the biting pain of having you limp in his arms - dead, as he huddled there on the floor.
“Come on.” Jason wept, steaming up the inside of his helmet as he recycled back his own breath now. He reached up to your cheek, accidentally skimming off a layer of your marred skin with his gloved thumb as he tried to wipe away some of the teary blood that had leaked from your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. Wake up.”
Jason simply wept. And he held you.
As he looked at the camera feed, Crane smiled.
“This is what happens when you don’t play by the rules, Red.”
...
A/N: SOOOO obviously this ending leaves us with a lot of questions - did Jason survive? I think this can be interpreted one of two ways: one, Jason did live. He managed to escape somehow, and he had scars all over his body from the acidic fog, and he enacted a very vicious, bloody, torturous revenge on Crane before going into hiding forever (or before using Red Hood to give actual justice to innocent people who needed it, his scars always a reminder of who he lost). Or - he sat there in shock and eventually choked to death as well. Or he pulled the whole 'my life is not worth living anymore' thing and just took off his helmet on purpose. So you can imagine that either of those things happened next.
Also, if you didn't catch it (or, if you're not a Saw person) - this situation was heavily inspired by the final plot twist trap in Saw X. I love the acidic fog, and I feel like Crane could be a trap guy. The Titans version of Crane could be good friends with John, imo.
Also, if you enjoyed this fic, check out my DC Titans Masterlist for more of my other fics!! And please consider reblogging and commenting on this fic to tell me what you liked about it.
#sundrop writes#jason todd#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd x gender neutral reader#jason todd x gn!reader#titans fanfiction#dc titans#titans x reader#dc titans fanfiction
160 notes
·
View notes
Note
Ok long annoying question incoming: Whenever I read your remadora stories im always interested in how you portray lupin with his relationship with sex. I always got the feel that werewolves were looked as sort of sexual predators in the wizarding world. I mean the way greyback is written was very creepy, “specializing in children”, wanting to eat hermione because of her “soft skin”, yikes.
Because of that reputation do you think lupin views himself as a sexual predator when he’s feeling just basic lust? Not even specific to tonks, like do you think he has trouble with his feelings of attraction to anyone. How do you think puberty was like for him? How does gender play into this, does he feel like he’s objectifying whatever person he’s attracted to? Would he even have sex before a relationship like tonks? Is he jealous of Sirius and James because they can be more free with their sexuality? Lol so many questions sorry
hi anon! not annoying at all, thanks for sending an ask! i'm always happy to get them, even if i'm not great about answering them in a timely manner (or at all)
tbh i'm not really a meta-writer and i don't usually fw headcanons too much outside the context of developing a story - but here are some thoughts based on the characterization choices i've made in my work. they are entirely speculative; canon has very little to say about how Remus Lupin uses his dick.
TW for sex, violence, sexual violence, wizard porn, endnotes, Moonchaser*, stuff i wrote at 4 am
so to start there are a couple of much better metas out there by other authors that you might like:
@bikelock28 has a really good meta on werewolves as sexual predators that covers this really well and explores lupin's struggle with it.
@ashesandhackles also has a great meta on the psychology of lupin's lycanthropy/marginalization called the gentleman monster
so yeah, i think you're dead on about the sexual subtext of greyback. in canon we first see people disgusted by and afraid of werewolves¹ and eventually we find out about greyback's notoriety as a child predator². Lupin obviously expresses occasional self-loathing in canon, and my take on that is that he's internalized some of the responses he gets from people aware of his status and some generally-held prejudices against werewolves—he pushes back against Harry's assertion that he's a normal person with a problem³, he refers to himself as "dangerous⁴**," he speaks of himself as having "tried to live amongst wizards⁵," which to me implies that he thinks of other wizards not as peers but as betters who tolerate him. i think his carefully neutral, people-pleasing, equivocating tendencies are his attempt to build a self around the rejection of whatever people might believe about werewolves.
do you think Lupin views himself asa predator when he's feeling basic lust?
my feeling is that, because of all these ideas he's absorbed about what werewolves are like, Lupin might pathologize and abhor some of his own thoughts & behaviors, maybe even normal/typical ones, and have a difficult relationship with urge, impulse, and desire.
How does gender play into this?
he's a boomer who hangs out with a bunch of bros, he takes a kind of patronizing attitude with Tonks in their confrontation in the hospital wing⁶, and he was written by an author who went on to make gender essentialism her whole entire deal as a person, so i feel like he's probably at least a little sexist. i think, just because it's part of the sexist background radiation we all receive, he probably understands women as vulnerable and passive-receptive in heterosexual relationships - so my thought is that he probably has extra hangups about hooking up with women. i think he'd probably have hangups about any sex where the power dynamic favored him, and there are a lot of things about penetration, exchange of fluids, etc. that seem like they might trigger any internalized ideas about himself as violent, sexually rapacious, diseased, etc.
Would he even have sex before a relationship like Tonks?
I don't particularly headcanon Lupin as lifelong-celibate before Tonks, but I get why some people do and it's fine. My personal instinct is that if he experiences sexual desire, he probably finds an outlet for it one way or another***. I think one of Lupin's specific hangups with Tonks is that she's asking for a relationship, she's asking to love him and for some kind of commitment on his part - I think he'd struggle with those more than he might struggle with casual sex. Not just because of the risks to which they'd expose Tonks; some of Lupin's behavior in canon is pretty self-serving - specifically, self-protective against conflict or rejection⁷ - and I think being in any kind of serious relationship might expose him to an uncomfortable kind of vulnerability. personally, i think that's probably a key factor in his apparent misery in the early days of his marriage and his eventual ditching of Tonks—yes, he was trying to protect her, but my suspicion is that he was trying to protect himself too: from the permanent commitments of family after a life spent moving between places and jobs and societies, from the guilt of producing a werewolf kid, and from all the risks of pain and failure that a relationship would bring.
What would puberty be like for him?
Lupin's relationship with his body seems like it must have been pretty fucked up at baseline so starting to grow face & body hair and get physically bigger (and thus harder to control during full moons at home) was probably kind of rough. early sexual feelings and the realization that sexual relationships are going to be difficult and fraught at best for him probably sucked too
Is he jealous of Sirius and James?
so there's that line in the extracanonical Lupin bio where he says of Sirius "he always got the women." i really hate the incelness of this line, but if you want to consider it canon, then sure. tbh i think most of the Pottermore stuff is kind of trash
there's no interaction i'm aware of between Lupin & Sirius in book-canon that would give me the impression that he's jealous, and Lupin always seems to warmly & fondly remember James so... i think it'd be fine if a writer wanted to try and build a case for this dynamic between Lupin and his friends, but it doesn't resonate with me specifically. honestly, I think it'd be easier to make the case that he had a little crush on James than that he was jealous.
if you've read this far, hi, and also i just wanted to mention that i have a fic coming out in July that explores some of Lupin's struggle with—and terror of—his sexuality so stay tuned if you're into that
*god i fucking hate ship names how about "Rames" "Jemus" "Pupin"
** obviously, a werewolf is dangerous at the full moon and it makes sense to be afraid of encountering one. as a reason not to be in a romantic relationship, though, it suggests to me that Lupin thinks of himself as violent/untrustworthy/impure in a general sense
*** ok new headcanon Lupin is one of those guys with an absolutely massive and meticulously-organized porn collection. i bet wizards could make a pretty dope fleshlight. like remember that care of magical creatures book that's just like a weird hairy animal mouth? okay i'll stop
¹ PoA, pp. 336-337
² HBP, pp. 334-335
³ HBP, p. 335
⁴ HBP, p. 615
⁵ HBP, p. 333
⁶ HBP, p. 615
⁷ PoA, pp. 345-346; OoTP, pp. 719, 721
91 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, random, but - have we had any meta about Fjord’s rejection of “Stone” vs Ashton continuing to use “Greymoore” and their apparent comfort with it?
I know the situations aren’t really one for one, I just find it kinda interesting. Hope you’re having a good one. X
I haven't written any but others probably have, or you can infer it from meta about Fjord and his changing attitudes towards his last name (which are only made clear in works from after the beginning of Campaign 3, which might be why there aren't many comparisons made). Also, the main reason is answered in your question: these aren't one to one scenarios.
From everything we know, Greymoore was a fairly standard orphanage - not great, but not abusive or exploitative as Driftwood Asylum was - and Ashton made a number of friends there with whom they've since lost touch following the incident at Hexum Manor. I think it's fair to say that Ashton might even consider his time at the Greymoore State Home as perhaps a pretty decent part of his life overall. And "Greymoore" itself is entirely neutral - it's the name of the institution, with no particular meaning. It's just the last name they have, and as we see in Bassuras, it's treated as entirely normal and expected.
Meanwhile, Fjord's gone back and forth on his name. He was given the last name Stone and told it was because he was unwanted. He initially wanted to drop it entirely when he first joined Vandran's crew, but Vandran told him that not only did he need a last name for the ship's record, he also told him that stones are in fact, incredibly important, in what might have been some of the first kind words Fjord heard (Mighty Nein Origins: Fjord Stone). Then, after years of being a parental figure to Fjord, Vandran used magic, and Fjord never had a chance to ask him about it before the Tide's Breath sank. The year that the Mighty Nein were together is actually the only year in Fjord's life when he didn't use the name "Stone", likely due to a combination of the complicated feelings he felt towards Vandran during the campaign, and the fact that it was generally a time for reinvention and self-discovery for him following a drastic uprooting of his entire life. He then, by the time of the Mighty Nein Reunited, has slowly started to reclaim the name, which, not coincidentally, takes place after he's had a chance to talk to Vandran and understand him and after he's developed a sense of self worth. I also think that while Fjord's worship of the Wildmother is very different and entirely unrelated to the Stone branch of Clay, Dust, and Stone, I think it's fair to say that seeing people using the last name "Stone" as a point of pride and devotion might have also helped him see the name in a new light.
But for a short answer, it's as simple as the fact that Ashton was not made to feel bad about the name "Greymoore" and Fjord was made to feel bad about the name "Stone."
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
1, 8, and 12 for the Violence asks?
The same still goes - I LOVE TO HAVE MY MIND CHANGED! If anyone reads these and thinks of a counter example or a fic/bit of meta that will change my mind, let me have it.
the character everyone gets wrong
OK, so this is going to be the one that gets me run out of town, chased by a mob of people with pitchforks, but I'm going to answer the custom follower Kaidan.
I get why - he's a fluffy romance mod at heart, and while I have no idea whether he was made in response to the SR mod he is often held as the alternative to Bishop's rapey vibe, and thus ends up being mostly written as an endlessly nurturing, supportive love interest for the DB in fics.
But Kaidan dealt with his pain by drowning it in alcohol and moon-sugar, and decided to become a bandit. Only to find out the group he joined weren't bandits they were a DAGON CULT. And it was only AFTER he stood by while the cult tortured and murdered an entire family that he had second thoughts about being a part of it. THEN when he escapes and goes back to Skyrim to sober up, he gets black-bagged and tortured for who knows how long.
Dude's f'd in the head and obviously has some incredibly maladaptive coping mechanisms, is what I'm saying, and has some SERIOUS SHIT in his past that any good-to-neutral alignment love interest would have to come to terms with. I LOVE him for it, but it's not a side of him that I see explored much. It's what I'm aiming to explore in Wives of Shor, if I ever manage to finish the damn thing.
And ALLLL of this is one of the reasons why I went so feral over @gilgamish 's fic, Tides to Carry Us Home when I came across it - the look at Kaidan through Felix's eyes (someone who is also very mixed up in the head) is DELICIOUS.
8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
Please allow me to paraphrase something I tend to see quite a bit. I'm not thinking of any one person, and honestly, mostly it's a take on r/skyrim lol:
"The Nords are prejudiced against Khajiit because they won't let the caravans in the city." Khajiit caravans aren't excluded from the cities because of racism, they're excluded because of a) protectionist economic practices and b) THE CARAVANS ARE DOING AND ENABLING SO MUCH CRIME OH MY GOD don't get me wrong I love them for the "poor us, the Nords are so mean" act they put on very successfully (at least it worked Ysolda) but Ri'saad literally came to Skyrim with a bunch of people in debt-bondage to be a war profiteer. It is totally justified that all of the jarls took one look at that whole situation and said, "OK we don't have enough guards to keep you out of the province as a whole, but you are NOT doing that shit in my city."
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
HEIMSKR. He has no chill. He has no fear. He has no orthodoxy (if you listen to his speech all the way through he says things that I'm very certain NONE of the other priests of Talos would endorse, like Talos being the head of the pantheon, or Alduin being sent by Talos to punish unbelievers.)
He just stands in the square, all day every day, and yells at the Gildergreen, which is Kyne's sacred tree. Combined with his insistence that Talos is the head of the pantheon (the place of Kyne in that Old Time Nord Religion) I feel like there's actually something going on there. And then if you side with the Imperials even being arrested doesn't stop him yelling about his crackpot theology. We stan a stan.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Extremely mildly niche academic-ish rambling ahead. Might wanna skip this one. It is long and boring
One thing that does make me happy is the Latinoamerican Literary Boom was so big it actually went on to be translated in other languages. There are still authors that I feel need to have their works translated (mostly women, I wonder why) but many of the video essayist I watch keep mentioning Borges in their videos, and truly I can't blame them because his work is rad. I don't know about him as a person but he lives 30 layers of post ironic meta fantasy or some shit like that. Cortazar is really cool also. In terms of living authors I really like Juan Villoro, his writing style is very fun. The Wild Book is a children's book about literary theory, like, Theory of Reception, Death of the Author, stuff like that. It was a really fun read as a child but the themes are interesting as well.
I feel like, I don't know, it's so hard to find Latin American fantasy books these days, or at least they are not as available. The YA genre is dominated by books originally writen in English or on books written in Spain (think Laura Gallego, which I just found out has a Netflix series made out of her most famous series of novels, but I am derailing) with the exception of Benito Taibo, who is Mexican, and has one (1) high fantasy trilogy that is kinda mid. The ideas were great, but they could've been expanded, you know? Camino a Sognum had so much potential, and you can *see* that it was inspired by classic epic fantasy like Earthsea, but it needed some more *spark* to actually work. I have not read Normal Person, but I plan to. Maybe it is better made?
And it's funny, because a book like Mexican Gothic, that was written in English, is so darn good! But only if you read it *in English* because the Spanish translation did this thing where they try to "neutralize" the accent and manerismd of the characters to make it appeal to the wider Spanish-speaking world and it doesn't sound or feel Mexican at all.
I am not sure where I am going with this. I have been discovering the local literary scene lately (and I mean *local*, like city-wide local) and it is mostly so boring because no one is writing fantasy! No magic realism! It's all kind of depressing dwellings on how we are being gentrified and indigenous people keep being oppressed by the mestizo majority and corporations and the goverment keep stealing the land to make Coca Cola and we are dying of diabetes and we don't got water and Capitalism sucks. LIKE I AGREE BUT CAN YOU PUT FAIRIES IN THERE OR SOMETHING. And I guess that's why I've never wanted to read Cómo Agua para Chocolate, because it is just *too real*, cuz it's a story I know by memory and I don't wanna live it all over again verbatim. Probably a great book, but I just cannot.
I don't know man idk idk.
The funniest think about this is that my favorite book ever (like actually, for real) is a children's book, written from the perspective of the imaginary friend of a child, and it is so gracefully narrated, and the characters so well constructed, and it touches real problems like Teen Pregnancy and Childhood Depression and Anxiety while also managing to be funny and whimsical? The very premise of the book (memories of an almost true friend, it's called) is already so creative and the execution is masterful. BUT I AM THE ONLY GUY ON PLANET EARTH THAT SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE ITS DRIVING ME INSANE.
Where was I going with this. Ah yes. Youtubers talking about Borges. Well. Um. I. I think imma translate some of my own texts to English and put them on Wattpad or something. They are not the kind of thing Wattpad people are into but I gotta archive them somewhere and doing it on AO3 feels wrong since they aren't fan works. And on that note, I also wanna write more fan works.
Ugh I could be writing an essay but you got me writing a Tumblr post. What is wrong with me. I'm too bad at word weaving.
Aaaa (??????
Thoughts?
Help
I did take my meds today BTW. I don't know what is happening to me I just wanna WRITE ok I LOVE WRITING BUT WHY MUST I DO TUMBLR INSTEAD OF MY PASSIONS?
Oi I'll end it there
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
(fyi this contains spoilers from s2 that I use to speculate upon)
This show builds upon itself and has so much detail (just by the amount of meta fandom has written and continues to write about s1 9 months after the s1 finale) that really, everything has meaning and is relevant to what might happen in s2.
We know that Stede Bonnet is effectively “dead”, thus his name and the Gentleman Pirate name died with him. Naturally, he would need a new name, one that historically did exist as the real Stede itched to get back to the sea under an alias, and picked the neutral name of Captain Thomas Edwards. Except our Stede is a romantic at heart. Much like Ed flying his flag of heartbreak, on his journey to find Ed, Stede chooses to allow Ed to lay claim to him by saying he is “Edward’s” (and he sure is.)
A person named Ricky shows up in what I'm assuming earlier on in the season while Stede is still looking for Ed, who recognizes Stede as the Gentleman Pirate. Now we don’t know exactly how crucial this character is to Stede, but with both Badmintons gone, Stede’s not facing much interpersonal conflict outside of his current attempt to find Ed again. So what if Ricky is the new roadblock that further hinders Stede’s search? From the bit of dialogue we’re shown, it seems Ricky has his own idealized version of who Stede is, a myth of a man that doesn’t actually exist. What if this idolization is what makes Stede start to (though merely on a surface level because he doesn’t fully know Ed’s intent to want to retire Blackbeard) understand the weight of carrying a legend on his back when there’s no possible way he could ever live up to it nor does he want to because what, WHO he truly wants, is Ed. Ricky’s story of him being inspired by Stede and that he also comes from money could be true, as we’ve seen Stede’s peers express how they wish they had the guts to do what he did. But making up a story isn’t that difficult when news about Stede’s beginnings was already widespread back in s1.
What if Ricky is actually Richard Worley, a newbie pirate who for his first raid, had burglarized a ship that local authorities mistakened as Blackbeard, and Stede followed this misinformation, which was why they were able to meet? News of Stede and Blackbeard traveling together is also public information too, and what is Ricky if not someone who maybe idolizes too deeply, who believes in legends and perhaps also wants to meet the infamous Blackbeard, and thinks that maybe Stede is the perfect person to lead them to him. Now Stede has someone around him who has ulterior motives, who is maybe expecting something “great” from Stede, and effectively becomes Stede’s own Izzy (toxic masculinity/unrealistic expectations).
Ed and Stede’s story have always run parallel to each other. In s1, Stede seeked out Ed’s life as a notorious pirate that everyone feared, while Ed, deep down, wanted Stede’s life of stability and comfort. But we saw what had happened in s1 when they were running in opposite directions from each other despite seeming to connect on such intimate levels and yet never truly understood each other because they didn’t fully communicate. In order for their relationship to truly thrive, they have to be on the same page, as they almost were on the beach with standard issue clothes and Ed bearing his heart out to Stede when Stede wasn’t hearing him. This time to be on common ground however, they have to both be “dead”. Blackbeard as a persona needs to be shed by Ed in order for him to truly move on with Stede, while Stede has to learn that opening himself up and being vulnerable around Ed is the last piece of the puzzle in making their love work.
Blackbeard is, and forever will be a part of Ed, that is undeniable. Stede doesn’t love Ed any less despite him being Blackbeard and he’s not about to start. Still, Ed has to rid himself of that weight.
Which brings us back to Ed’s initial pitch to Izzy about swapping identities with Stede back in 1x04. I personally believe that Ed was saying that to placate Izzy, and I feel like 1x06 is as solid proof as any that Ed never really intended to follow through with that plan, and was once again, pressured into violence. We know that Ed has never killed anyone outside of his father, and couldn’t, and still won’t going forward.
We’re linked to a wiki about Robert Maynard by a man who definitely isn’t David Jenkins. Maynard, who historically was the naval captain who put an end to the Blackbeard’s reign with an ambush at Ocracoke Island. We know Ed is a master at fuckery. His brilliant mind can and will find a way out of any situation, and if this naval captain is after Blackbeard, then he’ll give him Blackbeard. No one on the Revenge crew is expendable, so none of them would take his place, nor would Ed want them to. But there’s two people that could: Ricky who was already mistaken for Blackbeard with his first stint, this random new guy on the scene that lucked out; and Izzy, who so desperately clings to that legend that he’s betrayed Ed and threatened his life for not adhering to that very image he might as well BE Blackbeard himself.
Regardless of Ed’s choice, (I personally prefer the latter option for obvious reasons) he will be free of Blackbeard. Whatever and whoever tries to come between in his attempt to once again build his life with Stede, is simply collateral damage. (ship go boom?)
Stede dies in season 1. Ed dies in season 2. They’re finally free, together, in season 3.
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi pal, how r ye? weird ask ik but thoughts on bisexual!harry?
hello! not weird at all - a very valid question.
that said, i always feel a bit odd when people ask me for opinions about characters/canon events though, because i feel like there's always this expectation that i have a Strong Headcanon about these things, which honestly i mostly don't. i'm pretty neutral on most characters - like: yes, i have my view of them, but if someone has a different view, i'm not going to fight them, you know? i tend to bow out of conversations every time people start drilling into metas and text interpretations, because i find that everyone just seems to have much stronger thoughts than me about most things. i think there's a million ways to interpret canon, and i don't think my way is the only valid interpretation. i really don't feel that strongly about anything 🤣.
that said, from a writing/fic perspective: i guess i feel... neutral about it? i've said this before but i'll say it again: i think really good writing can sell me anything. it could sell me harry as a pirate, harry as a serial killer, harry as a god, if it wanted to, so i don't have any strong objections to anything. i'll read slash fics or fics with harry being bisexual if they're well-written. i suppose the one ship i really don't see is tomharry/harrymort - that seems very far-fetched to me, but again, i think a really good fic could potentially even sell that to me, if the characterisation work was done well.
having said that, i personally wouldn't write bisexual!harry because personally, in my own view of the text, i just don't see it, so it would be hard for me to sell it to other people. i know a lot of people will point to him calling men "handsome" all the time and label that as "basically canon", and if that's your boat, then by all means float it, but i personally think this is just JKR being a straight woman and describing people the way she sees them. also, calling someone of the same sex "handsome" doesn't make you bisexual/gay - i find women pretty all the time, but i identify as (mostly) straight, so. i think if you put a gun to my head and asked me: is "bisexual!harry canon?" i would say "no," because JKR clearly meant him as straight, and interpreting the text any differently is reaching. I appreciate that a lot of people are very #deathoftheauthor with JKR, but i am not.
that said, if you asked me: is is canon-compliant? sure, you can make a lot of things canon-compliant if you want to. you just have to build more on top of canon. there is nothing in canon that says: harry will never be attracted to a man ever, and as such, you can for sure make bisexuality canon-compliant. you just have to work on it and sell it. and, if you want to tell me that's your canon, then fine, why not? it's your interpretation and it's just as valid as mine or JKR's.
i think the way i view these things is more like: how big of a writing hurdle is it to make me believe them? so, for instance, if you were to write a hinny fic, my tolerance for mediocre writing is higher, because i already believe in that relationship. if you were to write a dramione, harmony, drarry or harry/ron fic, your writing hurdle might be a little bit higher, but i do generally think all of these relationships are within the realm of possibilities, and therefore i'll buy it if it's decently written. if you were to write harrymort or snarry, i'm like: mate, that's a Hard Sell, but sure look it, if you think you can pull it off, be my guest.
that's as far as shipping harry with canon male characters goes, though. if we're talking in the abstract, could harry be with another man? i think ... yeah. like, why not? i genuinely don't believe anyone is 100% gay or straight, i think we all sort of float somewhere on that spectrum, so maybe he could potentially meet someone he likes. again, it's probably not what JKR intended, but you can make it canon-compliant. i think it's unlikely, because i think he's probably like 90% straight, but that 10% is open. there's just other canon characters who i think are more likely to be bisexual than he is.
i also think that it's important to acknowledge that it's understandable and important that people write harry as bisexual. like, i totally understand why someone would do that. it's representativity, and openness, etc. but i also don't think changing the canon sexual orientation of canon characters (as in: giving them a different sexual orientation than the one JKR intended) is the only way that can be achieved. HP obviously lacks representativity in that area (esp in light of today's standards) but i tend to focus my diversity writing on OCs, and that's just my way to do it.
additionally, if i want to do something with canon characters, i tend to focus on the sexual orientation of characters who are a bit secondary, whose head you're not in, and for whom, thus, sexual orientation is a bit more of an open question. i think you can easily do that with ginny (in fact one of my favourite fics i've read in recent years in ginny/luna) or with people like seamus or dean, who are in the background enough that you just don't know what they think/who they're attracted to.
but again, i'm a canon-compliant writer. i'm a canon-compliant reader. if you're writing this wild AU where you're totally disregarding the canon characters and settings and just writing whatever you please, then obviously that's a different question.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Korn’s position is not stable at all
The thing which occurred to me during all this introspection about Porsche and his loyalties in my previous meta is that I and a lot of people in this fandom are being remiss in not trusting Kinn enough. He is the main piece and so far he has not openly declared which side his loyalties lie. And that is because no one is quite daring enough to challenge him and have him choose the other side.
Now that might at first sound like bad news for Porsche but it is quite frankly the exact opposite. Kinn starts the game firmly in Korn's court and then starts oving towards Porsche’s side. Every time there is a conflict with Porsche, Kinn does exactly what Korn asks him to do. That changes in ep 7. Korn explicitly tells him to come back to his old self and Kinn does the exact opposite and entrenches himself more in his relationship with Porsche. That is the first time he disobeys. And that leads to an interesting shift in his and Korn's interactions. Korn changes his entire approach to their relationship. He is neutral during the Tawan debacle, then reluctantly agreeing and then finally almost enthusiastically supportive. And this development is almost exactly proportionate to the deepening of Kinn and Porsche's relationship. The more they love each other, the less Korn challenges Kinn to stand against Porsche. So while I believe he is using Kinn to control Porsche, he is also using Porsche to control Kinn.
Which brings me to the motive behind Korn and Porsche holding themselves back. While Porsche is doing this because he literally cannot bear to hurt Kinn, Korn is doing this because a status quo is the only way he can maintain his winning hand. Cuz let's face it, when we imagine what could happen if Kinn is forced into such a situation where he has to choose between Korn and Porsche, Korn is the one who has a losing hand. In such a situation, if the truth is heinous enough, we know Kinn would not stop Porsche. Oh he would probably stop him from going to the extent of killing his father but he would not stand in the way of anything else. In that situation, Porsche could rightly demand justice or he could offer forgiveness, he could leave and take Kinn with him. Maybe he wouldn't have a full win because Kinn would still be hurt but it would be a win nonetheless. But Korn on the other hand? Say Porsche exposes the truth - he would lose Kinn altogether. Say he turns Kinn against Porsche and tells him to eliminate him - there are two possibilities here, one, Kinn doesn't (let's face it, no one believes Kinn could actually shoot Porsche even in the face of an obvious betrayal), in which case Porsche wins and two, where Kinn does, in which case Porsche also wins albeit in a more tragic manner (because killing Porsche would completely destroy Kinn and Korn would be left with an unhinged, destroyed man as his heir, forever living in fear of Kinn discovering the truth).
So for Korn, it is of optimal importance that the balance be not upset at the moment which is why I believe he seemed so happy to see them so loved up at the end. He needs them to distract each other enough to not call him out on his bullshit because the moment one of them do, his house of cards are gonna come tumbling down. And if I were in Korn's position, I would have realised how unstable this solution was. And I think he does realise that, which is why he blatantly endangers Kinn's life like that. In fact, I think he is aiming to consolidate his powers through Kinn and Porsche and then take them out of the game and instate Kim as the final successor. Except he doesn't realise that would never happen cuz -
a. Kim left this life behind voluntarily and he is onto Papa Korn.
b. It is obvious from even that 10 sec clip that he loves and cares about Kinn a lot.
c. this is after all the romance genre and he already has his destiny written out as malewife extraordinaire just like his brother and cousin.
70 notes
·
View notes
Note
And your darling devil divine for the ask game please ❤️
Ah yes… My beloved Nacht…
BINGO! We got a bingo!
Man do I have thoughts about Nacht. Ever evolving thoughts too.
At first I was neutral. Then I started to like him when it was revealed he was a self-loathing hypocrite who was not so above it all. And now I’ve analyzed his character twice in a matter of weeks.
I believe Nacht is a well written character. He has a compelling backstory which influences his present ideals and actions. It's only my personal bias saying that Nacht needs more screen time. In reality, what attention he does get is used effectively to tell the story of someone who has damned themselves to living in the shadow of another, "better" person and deciding that eternal punishment is what he deserves for the mistakes he's made.
Tabata did Nacht a disservice by rushing Nacht's whole arc. He was laying it out so nicely and then one conversation with Yami seems to fix it. (Maybe it's not totally resolved yet and we just have to wait and see?)
And the fans do Nacht a disservice by like... Oh here are the opinions that would be like hitting a wasps nest...
The way I see it, Nacht only seriously hurts people he cares for on accident. He pushes away people like Morgen and Yami, creating a rift, but Nacht's intent was to save them rather than harm them. Even Nacht's greatest sin, Morgen's death, was an accident and not entirely on him since Morgen was the one to put his life on the line. Nacht is similar to Nozel in that both characters don't intend to harm their loved ones but it happens anyways because of poor/a lack of communication. Nacht's first interaction with the Black Bulls doesn't count because the Bulls didn't know Nacht at all and he was still projecting onto them. Not a good first introduction but it really doesn't hold the same significance to Nacht causing Morgen's death. Also, Nacht does eventually acknowledge the good the Bulls have done and how incredible they are. Yes, Nacht has said bad stuff about Yami, his best friend, but that still circled back to Nacht seeing the worst of himself in Yami instead of actually disliking Yami. So the way I see it, depicting Nacht as being whole-heartedly and intentionally malicious towards those he truly cares about is... not right.
Another mischaracterization of Nacht would be the idea that he wants forgiveness and redemption. Nacht doesn't want to be forgiven. Nacht never seeks to become good and instead believes he will always be evil. He even says he will "fight evil with evil" instead of determining that he will do only good after Morgen's death. Nacht ran away from forgiveness... Up until Yami talked away his issues all too easily. (But like I said, that's Tabata's fault.)
Does it sound like I'm absolving Nacht of guilt? Oh absolutely! Like, I know he did really shitty things. But I also want to point out the context and and possible emotional significance to the characters that gives the situations nuance. Still, I said these opinions would be like a bat to a wasp nest so I know these thoughts won’t be taken well by some.
Also these my opinions so if you’re reading of Nacht is different. We can keep it to ourselves.
Moving onto more light-hearted things about Nacht...
Yeah the music thing sure is accurate. I mean... I did do the whole Music of Faustsele series. And I still have yet to talk about the Yonzeu songs that I think relate to Nacht alone and one's that express his thoughts about Morgen! As you can see, Kenshi Yonezu and Nacht Faust go really well together./lh
And I do think about him so much. I mean, did you read the meta I did of his character? One of my most complex ocs exists thanks to me being absolutely taken in by Nacht's story! I want to learn more about him! Have more to analyze and study!
As you can probably tell, I really like Nacht. In fact, I love him. As a character. A plot device. A vehicle for themes and narrative progression.
Still debating if I'd like him if he were a flesh and blood human though. I wouldn’t be able to handle his criticism well if he had anything to say to me at all. Maybe. Depends on if he keeps the devils. The Bremen crew make him 10x more attractive, let's be real./lh+j
#questions from the ask box#ask game#nacht faust#black clover#soda asides#laura the writing senpai#i can't say the popular ships for nacht sucks because i think there's only one popular ship for him#and that's yami x nacht#and it's fine it makes sense#but also i think it's funnier to imagine them as exes#exes that can hang out but should never get back together again#i do admit that i have a bias as i have an oc i ship with nacht...
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
SWTOR Alliance Commander Ask Game
got tagged by @tearlessrain , thanks for tagging me :)
1) Who’s your Alliance Commander? What class are they? Alignment? Random other facts you wanna share?
My Jedi Knight Bezekki! He’s a… neutral or chaotic good sorta guy. Bit of a dick, too. But he’s a Jedi, and at the end of the day, he does do what’s right - he just doesn’t have to be nice about it. The Jedi code doesn’t say anything about that.
2) What’s a reason or two you like that this character is your Commander?
It fits him pretty well - he’s always chafed against (what he perceives as) the rigidity of the Jedi code, but he’s still very committed to doing good and helping people. He takes action and doesn’t always consider… anything.
3) What’s a reason or two you don’t like about them being Commander?
I really don’t like playing a Jedi Knight lmao. I much prefer consular/inquisitor style gameplay (i just love being glass cannon DPS) and the JK story just doesn’t really work for me. The pacing is off somehow, idk, I don’t find it terribly interesting.
4) Why did this character of all your OCs become Commander?
It was honestly between him and my Sith Warrior Umyon - the KotFE/KotET plot just seems to be written mostly for those two classes. Maybe the other force sensitive classes, but JK and SW especially. And out of the two, from a completely ‘meta’ sorta standpoint, I think it makes more sense for the Commander to be a Jedi? I think most people would be far less likely to trust a Sith to lead any sort of faction to fight Zakuul, except for the most loyalist Imperials.
5) Who did they side with? Did they stay loyal or go saboteur? Or maybe you headcanon they defect properly?
Definitely stayed with the Republic. Bezekki might be a bit of a grey Jedi, but he fucking hates the Empire and everything it stands for. He’d probably try and keep the Alliance as independent as possible while still allying with the Republic.
6) Are there any NPC’s from the class stories you’d like to see/HC join the Alliance?
Hm. There aren’t often a lot of non-companion NPCs alive at the end of the class stories, are there? Honestly I’d be happy if the companions just had bigger parts in the Alliance.
7) How’s your OC feeling about the current Malgus situation?
I think more or less this is what he expects from Sith by now lmao. At this point nothing really shocks him.
8) Are any of your other OC’s part of the Alliance? If yes what do they do for the Alliance? Do they get along with your Commander?
Oh hell yes, I love when people have proper little Alliance canons where all their swtor ocs join.
Umyon, (former) Wrath of the Emperor. As a powerful force-user and the former Wrath, Umyon kind of unofficially represents the Sith in the Alliance. Outside of combat he mainly helps train padawans/acolytes in lightsaber combat, since that’s his main skill. He and Bezekki have a complicated, strained relationship - the problem is they actually get along quite well. They just both hate that. They see themselves in each other, which freaks both of them out a bit.
Annemil, Barsen’thor. Her main role is as a healer, though sometimes she reluctantly plays the role of diplomat. She hates politics, but she and Bezekki have known each other since they were teens, and she knows he can be… abrasive. Annemil’s kind smiles tend to go down easier with people.
Auxayseo, Darth Nox. Used to be more involved during the Zakuul-business, but has returned to serving the Empire after the Alliance allied with the Republic (unlike Umyon, who stuck around). She still functions as something of a diplomat between the Empire and the Alliance due to this previous involvement. She and Bezekki can’t stand each other, but they both recognise each other’s usefulness.
Emilat, (formerly) Cipher Nine. Technically isn’t in the Alliance, since he legally doesn’t exist. As much as a lot of people would like to turn their nose up at the suggestion, it is terribly useful to have a person around who specializes in… eliminating problems. Discreetly. While his experience with the SIS during the IA storyline was awful and ended in a bloodbath, his time in the Alliance slowly changed his view on the Republic, to the point where he ended up joining the SIS and completely leaving the Empire behind. He and Bezekki get along surprisingly well. Just guys being dudes.
Captain Y’riella, The Voidhound Extremely Legitimate Art Dealer! Listen. She’s put that life behind her. Y’riella’s a reformed woman, and all her art and various luxury goods are acquired 100% legally. If the Alliance just so happens to need her to… bring them something, well, that’s perfectly legal isn’t it. Nothing wrong with that. And if that something happens to be credits or weapons or information, well, that’s none of her business is it? Just friends doing friends a favor.
9) How does your OC feel about Odessen? (Bonus: how do you feel about it)
It gets the job done. He doesn’t really have much of an opinion of the place that isn’t about the Alliance itself. (Personally, I like it ok, except god damn do I keep getting lost there. Too many rooms.)
10) How does your Commander feel about being the Commander?
Somewhere along the lines of “It’s a shit job, but someone’s gotta do it.”
11) Favorite place in the Alliance base?
Hangars and landing pads. For all he pretends to not give a fuck about anything except fighting Valkorion, Bezekki likes to keep up with everything - see who’s coming and going, that kinda stuff.
12/13) Favorite mission in KotFE? Favorite mission in KotET?
taking a cue from tearlessrain and combining these two, ‘cause istg they’re the same expansion. I like the party subterfuge one, that was fun. I liked the fight with Arcann too.
14) Least favorite mission in either? Why?
The fucking thing where you have to let either Vette or Torian get murdered. I’m not hugely invested in either character, but from a writing standpoint it’s just so cheap and lazy. Complete with a little “aw they’re sad you let them die” popup. Fuck off with that, I hate when games force your hand and then go “LOOK WHAT YOU DID”
15) Is your Commander successful because they’re skilled? Or are they perhaps just really lucky?
He’s successful because he’s a little unhinged
16) From our OC’s point of view, SoR -> KotET wasn’t a fun experience, did they develop any fears as a result?
Complete darkness freaks him out a bit now. He also suffers from sleep paralysis, though Annemil’s been helping him with both. It wasn’t an easy time for any of my swtor ocs, though, ‘cause I gotta have that good timeskip angst.
17) AU time! If your Commander wasn’t Commander, which of your other OCs would have likely taken their place?
Umyon! He’s basically second-in-command anyway.
18) Who’s someone your Commander hopes they never have to deal with again?
Darth Rivix. He can’t exactly put his finger on it, but dude freaks him out.
19) Does your Commander hold on to/still use any titles they earned before KotET?
I mean. “Jedi Knight” is a pretty good title. He’s kept that one.
20) Share something, anything at all, you want about your Commander that you’ve not really gotten the chance to share before but really want to.
He’s missing half of one of his lekku, as well as one of his arms from the elbow down, due to various injuries he suffered during the JK storyline. He doesn’t want to talk about it, though, and if asked, will come up with random vaguely-believable stories about what happened.
ALSO HE’S TRANS
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
E, F, L, N, O, P asks ^^
Let's go! I'll try to answer for both Tokyo Ghoul, because it's you asking =D, and LOTM which is definitely my primary fandom at this point.
(this got long so rest is under the cut :p)
E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?
I've made incorrect quotes and memes for both fandoms and I consider those pretty cracky :p.
But in terms of fics, not really ^^;. I do have light-hearted / humourous fics for both fandoms, but I overall consider myself terrible at writing comedy. In fact, there's one fic I've written in my entire life that I would consider "crack" and I deleted that one off the face of the internet because I was too embarrassed days after posting it. It remains the only fic I've ever deleted to date (my general philosophy is not to delete fics since someone out there, now or in the future, might enjoy it, but I made an exception for that one, it also had zero hits which made the decision easy :p).
...
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?
Tough question. I never really leave a fandom once I've joined it - even if I move away from it, I'll continue to sometimes read fanfics / metas / see fanart etc. Case in point, Tokyo Ghoul. So my answer would likely be ~9 years, for the first fandom I ever joined (not naming it because it was before this account of mine :p). If that's not counted and we're talking about truly immersed in the fandom, I guess the longest is 3 / 4 years for Tokyo Ghoul.
...
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)
Tokyo Ghoul: I choose Seidou. I think he's a very interesting character, an ordinary man in the CCG who contrasts everyone else then went on to become a half-ghoul in the most tragic way.
The reason I somewhat dislike him is his interactions with Akira in the first series, but I can't deny those feelings of jealousy, envy and admiration are all also very realistic.
It's been a while since I read Tokyo Ghoul so maybe I'm off, but I always thought of him as a half-ghoul who rejected his past humanity and only looked to his future as a ghoul. Meanwhile Amon was a half-ghoul who could not look to that future and only clinged to his past humanity, so I enjoyed how they were excellent contrasts to each other.
LOTM: Hmm... let's go with Cattleya. I don't really care for her and feel her role in Book 1 was less about herself and more about the people she was connected to (Bernadette, Frank Lee). But I also think she has an interesting past (growing up with Bernadette, links to Element Dawn and Moses Ascetic Order, becoming a pirate admiral) as well as future (her task to infiltrate the Moses Ascetic Order), and I really hope canon sheds light on it.
It's also great that she was the first Tarot Club member to openly defy the Fool, it was realistic of her to not have loyalty to a random gathering that she was pulled into by accident. Like, yes, the Fool saved her, but she didn't ask for it and of course she'd be wary of the powerful being who showed her kindness out of nowhere.
...
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).
Tokyo Ghoul: (disclaimer I no longer deeply interact with the fandom so my answer may be outdated :p) Generally I just want to see more of certain characters or relations, especially Akira, she's such an endlessly interesting character to me and I adore all sorts of fanwork for her.
Recently due to a blog on Tumblr (idk if it's fine to tag ^^), I've also gotten very interested in everything to do with Eto and love reading metas for her.
Finally I guess canon-compliant post-canon stuff, probably an unpopular opinion but while I have some issues with TG's ending, I'm more interested in reading what could have led to it than the ways it should have gone (which is most of what I've seen in the fandom regarding it).
LOTM: Tbh the English fandom is small enough that anything I like I could say there's not enough of :p.
I've answered this in regard to fanfiction before and I will reiterate one part of that- more Azik and platonic Aziklein in any form.
Second, more nuanced anything about the Demoness pathway and its members (currently reading COI on Webnovel and taking damage from some of the comments I see...).
Then... idk, I have like a dozen characters and relationships I'd like to see more content of :p, tough to choose between them. Probably because I just posted Blessings of Today, I'm thinking about Derrick + City of Silver + Moon City.
...
O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?
My pick got connected to LOTM: Shelter by Porter Robinson, reminded of Klein. [I could never find the right way to tell you / Have you noticed I've been gone? / 'Cause I left behind the home that you made me / But I will carry it along] reminds me of him with Melissa and Benson, they never knew the real Klein died and they also don't know the current Klein is alive ^^;.
Also, [And it's a long way forward but trust in me / I'll give them shelter like you've done for me] is Evernight helping Klein, and Klein freeing the other transmigrators.
Tokyo Ghoul: Not a song at random, but I want to say Trust Distance by grief art always makes me think of Akiramon in the first series. It's about two people revolving around each other, never able to get closer, never able to define their relationship :p.
Choice lyrics (English translation from the Vocaloid wiki): [The two of us only turning around / because we're attracted to each other, but can't get closer / The nameless circle of relationship / turns round and round, seemingly not broken] and [We reach out our hand for each other / but I can't feel your fingertips either / "If you won't reach, it's fine" / I smile while walking].
...
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).
Tokyo Ghoul: Hmm... do we mean a completely different world or canon divergence here? I'll go with the latter: I've always wondered about a world where Kureo Mado lived. He sees his daughter train a group of half-ghouls, he might even be friendly with them over time. Then he gets to see his subordinate as a half-ghoul, his daughter joining him to help the ghouls... would he change his mind for the people dearest to him? Or would he continue to hold onto his prejudices?
Nothing for LOTM, finding my way through canon is hard enough without adding AU ideas XD.
That's all, thank you so much for the asks! I really enjoyed answering these.
1 note
·
View note
Text
I've recently reblogged a post I thought interesting, analysing Mobius' interrogation of Loki. The interrogation beats were competently analysed, so I praised the post and added my opinion. It has since then come to my attention that the writer thinks of Loki as a "unsecure narcissist" (the OP didn't talk about Loki much and praised Mobius as extremely intelligent in his management of Loki, which was the point I wrote on to disagree). To each their own, I guess, but I decided I'd rather not interact further and post my comment separately as meta.
Mobius interrogation of Loki was successful, but I strongly disagree with the idea that this is somehow due to Mobius "high level of competence". He had absolutely everything he needed to succeed: an already frazzled prisoner, an infinite power at his back, and the knowledge of every little detail of the prisoner's past and future. A black future might I add (Loki would have never caved if he weren't destined to die real soon in the main timeline). And Mobius' biggest asset: Loki's own intelligence.
Thing is that, given the power difference, what Mobius was offering Loki was in Loki's objective best interest (preservation of life and further insight into a complex situation) . There were no disadvantages to Loki himself, and the only thing hindering Loki from the alliance was 1) bad understanding of the situation as he initially didn't believe in the might of TVA and 2) a mixture of hubris, unreleased adrenaline and fear. Once Loki managed to look around and center himself, collaboration (aka biding time) would be foregone conclusion. We've seen him do exactly this with the Grandmaster. On screen. Like, it's right there (and no, Loki isn't an insecure narcissist who would rather die if it would spite his captors, wtf I can't even process this take).
TLDR: only a complete moron could have managed to fuck Loki's interrogation up, given the insane amount of advantage TVA had over Loki.
#loki#loki series#spoilers#i am honestly shook#likei dont like or dislike Mobius#he's an interesting character designed in oppsition to the protagonist#i have written metas on him which were neutral#but since many fans hate him the merad.might jave felt like defense#which...no#but this is the first time on tumblr i see a mobius apologist and a loki...#not hater but damn was that a bad take on him#i guess it was desrined.to happen sooner later#people from other fandoms will pour in and bring their half backed hot takes on loki#sigh#the price of having a successfull show i guess
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
La calza della Befana (Hang your stocking for the Hag) ~ will she bring you coal or candies?
Here you can find some sort of list for my most-read posts and my metas, to navigate this blog better if you wish!
But first of all:
STOP THE WAR, WHICHEVER WAR, WHEREVER IT'S FOUGHT. JUST STOP IT!
Metas ~ and relative asks
Keep in mind that some of them easily fit in more than one category but to avoid confusion I've not repeated them unless they were an ask which gave birth to a new category (like in the case of Mirri analysis).
Neutral
This category contains metas (and asks) which are conducted without shipping glasses or with as less favouritism as possible for those characters I like more than others as I try to keep an objective mind over events, characters and foreshadowings.
A juxtaposition of queens
This category contains metas (and asks) about the queens of asoiaf (Cersei, Margaery, Sansa, Daenerys) and it confronts them in several posts (sometimes all of them; sometimes only putting one against the others as they are used as political and moral rivals).
Sansa's defence and love
This category is a self-indulgent, love filled declaration for my favourite character in the whole asoiaf series, Sansa Stark (might not be your cup of tea if you hate her, but might be exactly what you are searching for if you'd like to read some love for our favourite gal without being an apologists of those — very few — mistakes she's made).
Jonsa foreshadowing
This category contains metas and posts and asks about the ship Jon Snow/Sansa Stark and its foreshadowings (thought better meta writers have written entire encyclopaedias about them, who are a treat to read!) throughout the books. Steer clear if you mislike this ship.
Dark Daenerys
This category encapsulates the foreshadowings and the proofs, in my opinion, of the dark Daenerys theory and of how her character is not as good and pious as the POV trap would have us believe.
Character analysis (asks and on my own)
A category filled with analysis (on my own or sparked by some asks) about the characters of the world of asoiaf. It contains also the sub-series Women of “A song of Ice and Fire” which focuses on less studied and cared for female characters of the world of asoiaf (some of them are still to be written and can be found in the “cooking in the pot” category down below) though for now we have Mirri Maz Duur, Lollys Stockeworth and Tysha Silverfist and Shella Whent and how they are linked to some main characters from the serie.
RS: characters back from the dead
A series analysing the characters of asoiaf who have been resurrected outright and those have been resurrected in a much subtle way and those who apparently are resurrected but actually might not be.
Cooking in the pot...
Sansa' empathy and courage (book canon) a series in two or three parts (still to be defined) about Sansa' empathy and courage.
Overlooked and interesting women of thrones (book canon) a series of posts and character analysis about the overlooked women of asoiaf (Mirri Maz Duur is the first of them, here; we'll be covering Lady Merryweather, Ellaria Sand and how dirty they played her in the show, Eroeh and Hazzea why Daenerys is forgetting them, Irri and Jihqui and Missandei, Myranda Royce & Mya Stone replacements for Jeyne Poole?, I might do a meta about Jeyne P. but I might wait a little bit to see if Winds gets published, Jeyne Westerling and her tragic love for Robb; and many more to come — also requested)
Arya and Samael, venom of (the) God(s) — if Azōr Ahaī is not a dark hero, or if he has a double face like Samael/Lucifer both faces of the same person but core different, spurned by the series of metas about the dark Azōr Ahaī and Daenerys biblical parallels.
Azōr Ahaī, different figures inspired by the same story?, what we know of him and the various legends born maybe of the same person and his/her legend (the last hero, the woman with the monkey tail, etcetera) why the differences might mean something for the ending.
Sansa' method of ruling (book and show canon) what she has learned and how it influences her ruling style; titled If I ever am queen, I'll make them love me.
How the Daenerys' upbringing has led her to be THE dragon (book and show canon), why her trauma explains her behaviour and may make us feel sympathy for the girl who wanted the house with the big, red door; but how it doesn't justify her actions, titled Why do the Gods make kings and queens?, dragons plant no trees.
Cersei Lannister vs Sansa Stark (book canon), their relationship and an analysis of their different mindset and ruling style (internalised misogyny vs feminism, privileged but hateful vs privileged but loving — fear vs love), titled Lions and Little doves (the dove is a sacred, holy symbol in the Bible, btw)
The Italian commedia dell'arte metas, a series of metas hinging on Sansa Stark and Jon Snow as their imo commedia dell'arte counterparts; a series composed (for now) of three parts (I might add to it): Sansa and La Colombina (Little Dove) a meta about the character of the Colombina, one of the most beloved characters of the Venice carnival; Jon Snow and Harlequin & Pierrot two heroes combined together to make Jon Snow, the romantic hero/fool and the somber, melancholic hero; Sansa Stark and Jon Snow, la Colombina and Arlecchino & Pierrot the loyal/disloyal servants (of their people interests) and romantic heroes.
Prompts
Here's the prompts I get.
Two students, just chillin' in a library, two feet apart, because they're both stubborn ft. Dandelions by Ruth B. , Dandelions in between pages.
Literally Anything Involving The Game Assassins, of the various quotes you've sent I've chosen three to get into the text: «You have me as a target, DID YOU JUST JUMP OUT OF A MOVING VEHICLE, ARE YOU INSANE?»; «I think the guy who has me as a target is in the student union, hey random person, can you pretend to be my partner and then break up with me so he feels bad and won't tag me», «I have you as a target but stalking you has made me fall in love with you», We were screaming in color.
Jon and Sansa do end up together, but same as Jon, Sansa has a few not tragical or abusing experiences in her lifetime before him too, for this lovely prompt: I guess you look happier [In another's arms]
Jon and Sansa do end up together, but— let’s see them through their exes’ eyes, a second installment for the lovely prompt of which above: All I know [I got addicted to a loosing game]
Wolf
Jon and Sansa do end up together, but — let's see them through their exes' eyes, the third installment for the lovely prompt of which above: It's time to face the truth [I'll never be with you]
The Jonsa Hag watches HotD
HotD 1x01 -> how did it turn from a “celebratory show” of the Targs and Daenerys in particular to an endless foreshadowing of why Daenerys was not meant to be queen in ten minutes of episode (plus many, many foreshadowing pertaining Jon Snow and/or fAegon)
The Jonsa Hag's brutally honest opinions
Part I (Jonarya)
Part II (Jonsa, Tommy/Grace, Aemond/Mera, Adam/Belle)
Part III (Sansaery, Daensa, Jonerys, Daenerys/Missandei, Rhaegar/Lyanna, NedCat, Ned/Ashara Dayne, Jaime/Cersei, Jaime/Brienne, Tyrion/Tysha; Merlin/Arthur, Arthur/Morgana, Arthur/Gwen, Gwen/Lancelot, Gwen/Leon, Steve/Nancy, Nancy/Jonathan, El/Mike, El/Will, Will/Mike, Steve/Robin, Robin/Nancy, Crissy/Eddie, Joyce/Jim)
Part IV (Sansaery another angle)
Part V (Viserys/Aemma)
Part VI (a bunch of HotD ships)
Part VII (Corlys/Rhaenys)
Part VIII (stop the Ned Stark slander)
Part IX (addition to the brutally honest opinions on Aemma/Viserys, Alicent/Viserys and the parallels with Rhaegar + Corlys and Rhaenys)
Fanfictions ~ sneak peeks, chapters update posts, guidelines
Empress of the World
Read it here on ao3 (wip, chapters no. 12)
Introduction and presentation of the fic, Empress of the World.
sneak peeks and chapter updates i, ii, iii, iv, v, vi, vii, viii, ix, x, xi, xii, xiii
art for the story (a gentle courtesy by @gingerdsnapped) part I and part II
world building part I — Westeros
world building part II — Empire of Valyria of Old, part I: history and legend
world building part III — Empire of Valyria of Old, part III: society, faith, law and customs
world building part IV — the court of Jaehaerys and Sansa part I
Soulbonded
Read it here on ao3 (wip, chapters no. 62)
Introduction and presentation (please, avoid the reblogs, it was a very sterile discussion about tags and unnecessary hate being hurled around like none business), Yn gaeth i'w enaid - Soulbonded
sneak peeks and chapter updates i, ii, iii,
guideline to the world, law and rules of soul marks in «Soulbonded», Law and differences
Dieb an youst (Wind of Ice)
Read it here on ao3 (wip, chapter no. 34)
Introduction and presentation, Dieb an youst (Wind of Ice)
sneak peeks i, ii
chapter updates and the Rebellion's factions, the Yellow Faction, the Silver faction, The Crown's faction, the Rebels
Like wolves in the darkness
Read it here on ao3 (wip, chapter no. 15); a canon-compliant (book canon) story which starts where we were left (tho I will cut out some parts or characters because otherwise I'd be writing the novel in GRRM' place and I'd do a poor job of it, tho Jonsa would be canon)
sneak peeks i, ii, iii, iv, v, vi, vii viii, ix, x, xi, xii
how I imagine the Starklings for this book canon fanfiction, art
Other fics you can read on my ao3 profile
I have several other stories (but I update them less frequently) you can find them here. We span from gender-bend, Merlin, asoiaf, The Hobbit and Narnia fandom to historical and modern AUs with many ships (you can find either requested fics or fics born of my own mind alone).
(I had implemented a list of them, but alas, the links were getting too many on this post — I might do another and link it down here, meanwhile, if you are interested, simply go to my ao3 page linked above and you'll find them all).
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
looking at your dislike tier list and cackling at how you came swinging for almost all dorm leaders hdhdjd
on a heavier note the relatability about azul though... yeah i get it too i remembered playing thru his chapter in jpn, realised everything about his character layers hit too close to home, but also how fascinating his response of a coping mechanism was, made a meta commentary of his layers and nuances and how hes objectively a well written fictional character that works well within twst's setting, and the immediately shoved him to the back of my mind.
its been 2 years. he's still there and i haven't been able to feel much for him except neutrality and a surface level enjoyment alas. although still better than the rare 1-2 twst character i feel absolutely apathetic for. nothing to feel bad about though in all works of media and esp within a main cast this big and varied its normal to have favourites and non-favourites and also characters you just don't care about
[Referencing this post!]
asdhkuasydvasdbIDBba Ah yes, I have a very strong case of "anti-main-guy syndrome" 😅 so of course the dorm leaders, the most marketed group in TWST, would not appeal to me as a collective.
I think the only dorm leaders I don't outright dislike are Riddle and Kalim. I don't exactly like Riddle though... It would be more accurate to say that I don't mind him? His temper is definitely a big con for me, but I have a soft spot for him because his youngish appearance vaguely reminds me of Ciel Phantomhive (and he's the first dorm leader the public ever saw when the first TWST promotional materials were released). In other words, it's the nostalgia--
Kalim is easily my favorite of the dorm leaders, and that's mostly because he isn't your traditional "leader". Kalim doesn't wield powerful magic or impressive skill like the other dorm leaders, but he has great emotional intelligence and is still able to embody the spirit of Scarabia in his own way. Kalim is not your conventional NRC student either, not with his sunny disposition. These traits help make him stand out from the others, which is why he has risen to the top.
***Chapter 3 spoilers below the cut!***
About Azul! There are some aspects of him I enjoy (namely, when he goes capitalist octopus mode displays his shrewdness and his unabashed greed). However, I can really pinpoint the exact moment when my love for him significantly died down, and that's the scene in chapter 3 where he breaks down. Again, I'm not saying that his reason for breaking down wasn't valid, or that I don't sympathize with him. It's just that I feel this point marks a change in the fandom with how it portrays and/or sees Azul.
A vulnerable side of him is revealed, and some fans interpreted that moment of vulnerability as "Azul is actually a super soft crybaby and he needs a lot of emotional support". I'm not saying this interpretation is wrong, but the popularization of it (sometimes to the point of being mistaken as canon) bothers me because it disregards other aspects of his character (namely, present day Azul). Azul himself has made it clear that he is dislikes that "old him" and is honestly trying to change, to be someone who is more confident in himself. The twins even remark that Azul is "no longer that crybaby octopus", so why is it that that depiction of Azul is what is generally accepted as what Azul is like in modern day? If anything, Azul buries that part of him because he wants to move on from it. He still probably has a softness to him, but it is buried deep, not just left out in public for anyone to bear witness to.
As I mentioned before, I identify a lot with Azul in his desire to change, to better themselves... and I get that it can hurt to have the "past you" constantly be the focus when you are brought up in discussion. In fact, part of the reason why I've grown to dislike characters that I closely relate to instead of loving them is because if that character is hurt or I see a thought on that character that may not align with my own, I might take it more personally and react in a negative way (and I'm not for those kind of vibes).
Despite not enjoying Azul as much as I used to, I still think he's a very interesting character to write. The TWST characters are all layered and offer a lot of different angles and lore to explore 🤔 even if I don't care for them on a personal level (whether it is dislike or neutrality).
Thank you sharing your thoughts with me and those that frequent this blog! Azul is honestly such a popular and beloved character that it's rare to find people that express other opinions on him, so I really appreciate your openness.
51 notes
·
View notes
Note
hiiiiiii, could I maybe request some Dom!Vincent involving knife play?
This is more sensual than NSFW but if you're under 18, please do not read this.
Experimenting with knives for the first time with Vincent
(Explicitly 'first time' because I've never written knife play either so this is me experimenting with knife play as a concept, as well as the characters experimenting, too. How's that for meta?😂)
TW; obviously knives, shirtless reader (no anatomical descriptions given) Vin is silent & imposing and oh so hot🔥, blood (minimal; a slight nick in the skin) Consent is explicitly given at several points but it's not verbal, it's within the narrative and actions exchanged between Vincent and reader. I'm not sure if this needs to go on a trigger list, but I'm writing it down just in case.
As always, gender neutral reader, no coded language, "you" and Y/N used.
Word count: 1, 370.
You had always loved Vincent's twin blades.
To watch him use them was a special kind of treat to you; you so rarely got to see him in the full swing of his brutality. He was always careful in making sure that you never saw him kill his victims unless you explicitly asked for it. Otherwise, you were told to stay inside your locked (from the inside; you were trusted) bedroom and to not come out for any reason other than the coded rapid three raps of a single knuckle, which meant that Bo or Vincent needed you to help them finish a job or were taking you somewhere else safer and more secluded while the visitors remained alive.
The silver glint of those beautiful blades was so tantalising to you, and many a time had you stared at them and the way Vincent's skilled, deadly fingers curved around the handles. Oh, but he was as brutal as he was passionate, as ruthless as he was tender, and as mysterious as he was familiar.
Just when you thought you knew everything there was to know about him, he surprised you. He kept you on your toes and you had learned to accept that he was as unpredictable as Bo and you would never fully know him. In the end, that small tidbit only made you love him more.
So when, one day, Vincent caught your eyes lingering, once again on his twin blades, left out on his desk so that he could polish them later, he was quick to take action where previously he would have noted it and said or done nothing. He stood slowly without taking his one beautiful and hypnotic blue eye off you, and slid the knives off the wax encrusted desk. The scraping sound of the well loved metal against the worn wood sent a delicious shiver to run down your spine and Vincent smirked to himself in a gesture so much like Bo's (though you didn't see it due to the mask on his face) as he approached you one step at a time.
You remained sat on the twin bed but you pushed yourself backwards and laid down; it was as much consent for whatever he wanted to do to you as it was a reaffirmation of trust in him. Vincent tilted his head, his way of saying that he heard your message and understood what you were telling him, his dark locks falling over his waxy mask, as his knees brushed up against your body. You couldn't see his eye in the low light of his workshop, but you felt the appreciation in his gaze. You were his muse, his finest artwork, and his love. Everything Vincent had ever wanted, wrapped up into one person.
You.
Vincent adjusted his grip on one of the blades so that the tip was angled straight down. If he dropped it, it would go straight through your thigh. But you trusted him and his grip and so you reacted with little more than a hitch of your breath. He was testing your resolve, seeing how much you were willing to take from him. He was dominant, it was true, but he never did anything you didn't want him to do, and Vincent had always made it a habit of checking in on you with every new thing he wanted to try.
Slowly did he lower the blade, trailing just the tip up and down your clothed thigh. You shivered and your thigh flexed. "I can take more, Vincent," You looked him full in the face, "It's okay."
Vincent tilted his head again and flipped the other blade so that the handle was facing you and he had the tip pinched between his thumb and forefinger. You took it from him, understanding what he wanted you to do, and lifted up your shirt so that it was just underneath your ribs. You copied Vincent by holding the blade straight down and trailed the tip lightly, lightly, across the newly revealed expanse of skin. You shivered as the cool metal traced you and, help you, but you somehow tried to arch into the metal as much as you tried to get away from it, and Vincent huffed in amusement.
He leaned over and tugged your shirt. Instantly and so fast that you were dizzy, you sat up and removed your shirt, letting it trail across your skin before you pulled it off and dumped it on the floor to be picked up later. Vincent liked to be slow when he was having this time with you, for every other aspect of his life was fast paced.
You laid back down and Vincent moved to stand beside the bed rather than at the foot. He took the blade from you and then, with his eye fixed firmly on you, he held it to your throat. The metal, now warmed by your body, rested there lightly, and you pushed into it. Instantly did Vincent move the blade away with a sharp shake of his head. He tucked it under his arm and then signed, slowly and carefully so that you couldn't misinterpret him, 'don't. Could cut too deep. Not you.'
"Sorry, Vincent," You reached out for one of his hands and he gave it to you without thinking; he couldn't and wouldn't deny you anything. "Try again, please?"
Vincent gave you a firm look as he did what you asked, holding the blade to your throat. Getting you used to the weight, the feeling, the idea that he could kill you with a single flick of his wrist, or if you moved in the wrong way. He had you under his full control and it was as much a turn on for him as it was for you.
He trailed the knife down your neck, down, down, your sternum, first as a flat column of metal and then slowly did he adjust the angle until only the tip was dragging a thin line across your skin, not piercing but teasing the possibility. It reached the waistband of the clothes which covered your lower body and then he grabbed the other blade, this time trailing two parallel lines back up your body until he reached your neck, the knives followed every millimetre by your eyes. Oh, but you wanted so much more than what Vincent was doing to you. But one thing at a time, one knife at a time.
"Vinny, please," You arched into the touch of one of the blades at your collarbone and a bead of crimson gathered as the blade pierced your skin. The sting made you gasp and Vincent stopped dead. He eyed the way your breathing picked up, felt the heat from your skin, realised that you enjoyed this as much as he did. He held both blades in one hand as he ducked down to press a kiss to the swelling of blood, tasting another part of you. Oh, but he loved you so much that it hurt him, and the level of trust which you had placed in him to allow him to touch you, not with violence but with love, with his prized blades, only made him love you more. "I can take it."
Vincent continued to press kisses along your collarbone, sending waves of arousal through your body and his, and you looped an arm around his neck and pulled him down, down. Vincent resisted your tug easily enough, so strong was he, and put the blades on the bedside table before he finally let you pull him down atop you in a cuddle. It was at total odds with what you had been experimenting with together, and it only summarised your relationship rather aptly. Your fingers settled in his tangled hair and Vincent's hands settled on your hips. He tapped once, twice, thrice, and you looked at him just in time to see him sign, 'blood next time. Just want you.'
"You have me, Vincent. I'm all yours."
It was a promise, a vow, an oath, so solemn and hypnotic, that Vincent couldn't have looked away if he tried. It was just as well, then, that he didn't want to.
#vincent sinclair#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair imagine#house of wax#house of wax x reader#house of wax imagine#slashers#slasher x reader#slasher fic#slasher community#slasher knife play#knife play#erika's plain text
138 notes
·
View notes
Text
Captivity and Escape in Critical Role
So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.
So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.
Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved.
FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.
JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.
BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.
CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.
VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.
MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.
... (incoherent sobbing)
Until last week.
YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.
CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.
***
And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.
***
TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.
ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).
ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.
Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.
Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.
LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)
HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).
GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.
LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?
It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!
I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:
(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)
(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.
Anyhow, they follow all this up with...
FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.
BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”
(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)
KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.
THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)
RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.
EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.
...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.
When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.
Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.
In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.
And I can’t wait for tonight.
#critical role#c2e140#the mighty nein#i don't even know how to begin to tag this#fjord#jester lavorre#beauregard#caleb widogast#veth brenatto#mollymauk tealeaf#yasha nydoorin#caduceus clay#lucien#jester#beau#caleb#veth#mollymauk#molly#yasha#caduceus
106 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
a-higher-sense-of-living
The Runway of my Mind.
titancutebutt
Cutie pie TITAN
knowledgenil
Untitled
timelady-studies
a wild time lady
knowledgenil
Untitled