I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Examples of jokes I think Danny would make daily, but I haven't managed to write them into any of my fics yet:
Sam: Could you pass the remote?
Danny: You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Danny hands it over with no fuss.
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Tucker: Hey, pass the ketchup
Danny: Over my dead body!
Danny arcs the ketchup over his head as he passes it to Tucker.
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Jazz, calling through the house: Danny?! Where are you??
Danny on his bed: ON MY DEATH BED
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Danny walking into any room, anywhere, at any given moment: this place is haunted
The joke is that it’s him. He's the ghost haunting it. Sam and Tucker hate this one because of how often he says it.
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Goes ghost before he uses the phrases "You killed me" or "I'm dead" when something is funny.
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Jazz whacks him over the head. (deserved)
Danny goes ghost the second her hand makes contact: MURDERER
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Jazz: could you help me with-
Danny: I can't. I'm dead.
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The classic "I guess I'll die" gag.
Tucker: You should probably go deal with that ghost, huh?
Danny: I guess I'll die
Goes ghost and flies off.
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Dash: How about you eat shit and die
Danny: Well, I've already done one of those things.
Dash: D:
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Sam, could be talking about literally anything: I would rather die
Danny: Same.
Sam: -_-
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Sam: Danny, what did you do?!
Danny, who messed up: .....Deadmen tell no tales.
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Danny, anytime anyone accidentally wakes him up: you're being loud enough to awaken the dead.
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Danny: Paulina looks so pretty today
Sam: Seriously? You still have a crush on her? You know she'll never like you back.
Danny: you're being necrophobic
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