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helpimstuckposting · 7 months

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I’m a ghost and you are a shadow

—

When they finally got around to leaving the backyard, once Steve had collected all the little bits of himself that felt tattered and stretched to their limits, he glanced back at his bedroom window. He caught the blinds swaying just a bit, as if someone had been peaking through and just stepped away. It was easy to imagine Eddie, pulling his mess of curly hair over his face to hide even though Steve hadn’t seen him. He wished he’d come back down.

Eddie was the only constant back in his world. He may have been states away, chasing some kind of purpose that Steve had lost among the bodies, but he called at least once a week. Just to say hi. Just to make sure they were both alive. Steve thought maybe he’d been so used to calling Wayne, he just didn’t know what to do without him. If Steve could be that filler in his life, that voice on the end of the line whenever Eddie reached for the phone out of habit, that was fine by him. It was the only thing he’d started to look forward to.

He wondered if his Eddie would be sad when no one picked up the phone this week. Steve felt a little like the small child hiding amongst the clothing racks again. He’s sure Eddie would notice. He’s just not sure if he’d care. Maybe he’d also send the nanny if he could.

Steve steeled his thoughts as they stepped back into the house, trailing slightly behind Robin as if that would delay the inevitable. She told him it was okay, that he could trust this different version of his mom but he wasn’t quite sure he could believe her. Maybe this Linda was different. That still didn’t make her his mother.

Back in the living room, Nancy, Max, El, and Dustin looked up when he entered. Dustin looked so apologetic that Steve almost felt bad for his reaction. He looked like he wanted to tell Steve sorry, that he didn’t mean to blurt that out, or that he didn’t mean to startle him but he couldn’t get the words out. Steve just nodded at him with a small reassuring smile and ruffled his hair as he passed, sitting back down on the couch with Robin.

They were back to the looking at each other thing, so Steve took pity on them and broke the silence.

“I'm okay, we can call her. Did you tell everyone else?” He asked.

Nancy shook her head. “We were waiting for you, we didn’t want to do anything behind your back.”

Steve nodded, heart squeezing tightly in his chest at the reminder that they cared enough to do that, to wait for him. He turned to the kids that were no longer kids, sitting together on the second couch, Dustin on the left and the two girls on the right.

“Still got the walkies?” He asked. Dustin nodded, pulling the two-way radio out of the bag at his feet.

“Always,” he replied.

“Are you ready?” Nancy asked, eyes caring and worried. She emphasized that it was okay if he wasn’t, if he wanted a few more moments to prepare for what was sure to be a stampede. Steve reassured her it was fine, that they’d have to say something eventually, and Robin squeezed his knee to offer her support, letting her hand rest there to keep him anchored to the spot.

“The rest of the boys should be in town. Will and Mike work at the arcade and Lucas is working at Family Video.”

Steve smiled, it seemed like they’d passed down their shitty strip mall jobs to the next generation. It was still so weird to know the kids were the same age he was when Starcourt opened, older than Robin was.

Dustin clicked the radio on and took one more glance at Steve before pressing the talk button.

“Mike, Will, Lucas, this is Dustin, do you copy?” He waited a few seconds, static coming through the other line. “I repeat, Mike, Will, Lucas, do you copy?” Another few seconds of pause. “We’ve got a 10-17, I repeat, a 10-17, do you copy?”

The line clicked in response. “Uh, what’s a 10-17 again?” Mikes voice filtered through the speaker.

“I think it’s a request for a pick up?” Will’s voice responded on the same line.

“That’s a 10-16, isn’t a 10-17 out of service? Why are you telling us you’re out of service? Over.”

The line clicked again, “That’s a 10-7, Mike,” Lucas’ voice responded. “Over,” he tacked on.

Dustin was clearly ready to vibrate out of his shoes in disappointment. The voices filtering through the static of the walkies made something fuzzy in Steve’s brain. The banter and the arguing and the crackling of the speakers, he could remember it like it was yesterday, like he hadn’t been missing it for four years. He was starting to get misty-eyed again and clutched onto Robin’s hand, still resting on his knee. She squeezed back.

“You’re all useless, it’s urgent business! I repeat, urgent business! Over!” Dustin yelled through the receiver.

Max rolled her eyes on the couch next to him and sunk back into the cushions, arms crossed. El followed her example, crossing her arms as well and relaxing into Max’s side.

“You don’t have to repeat everything, you know,” Mike answered back, tone snappy and impatient. The familiar sound of arcade games crackled out vaguely in the background and Steve could picture him leaning against the prize counter, rolling his eyes as he ignored some little kid in favor of answering Dustin.

“My shift is over in thirty minutes, how urgent are we talking?” Lucas responded.

“Uhhh,” Dustin glanced at Steve, eyes looking just this side of manic, “Try back from the dead urgent.”

“What?”

“Dead?”

“Who’s dead?”

“Who’s back?”

Dustin pressed the talk button to cut them all off again, “Just finish your shifts if you have to and meet back at Base Nora, he’s not going anywhere. Over and out.” Mike, Will, and Lucas tried calling out over each other, the line cutting in and out about ‘who’s not going anywhere?’ and ‘what are you talking about?’, but Dustin just clicked the walkie off instead of answering.

Max leaned forward again, arms still crossed against her chest, and looked at Dustin like he’d finally lost it. “That was the absolute worst way you could have handled that.”

“Yeah but how fast do you think they’ll get here now?” he responded. Steve shook his head as a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. He had to admit Dustin was clever. Rude as hell, but clever. Max just smirked back at him.

“Oh they are so fired.”

“I don’t think Keith can afford to fire them,” El laughed.

Keith, Family Video, the kids, it was all so similar to his world. If it was just this, just the party and Robin and Eddie, it would be fine. The fact that his house was Base Nora, that it was clearly well used by many people and filled with laughter and the sunlight of the morning peaking through the windows, it filled Steve with longing for what he’d lost in his world.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d opened the blinds in his house. It was always dark, quiet. He barely even turned the lights on most days, just fumbled through the house hungover and half blind. If it was just the kids they had to tell, he’d be excited to see their reaction, to know that everyone was safe.

However, with the conclusion of one task, the other much more daunting task was at hand. The lightness in Steve’s chest from the kids’ banter was slowly stripped thread by thread, unraveling the warmth he felt and replacing it with cold dread. Robin pulled him up and they all made their way back into the kitchen.

He glanced again at the picture wall, taking in the images he was too panicked to really see before. He stepped closer. There was a picture of the party at a beach, though Steve didn’t know where. He’d only ever seen beaches from expensive hotel windows, before his parents deemed him old enough to stay home alone. Here, the other Steve was smiling, arms around Eddie and Robin, who both had their hair up in buns, kids fighting in the background. There was another picture of the party in his living room, blankets strewn around the floor, kids huddled around with a movie on in the background. He couldn’t tell which movie, but the kids weren’t looking at the screen anyway, they were all huddled around laughing at he and Eddie, sleeping soundly splayed out on top of each other.

Steve wondered how much happier this Steve was. How much more he had. He did things, went places, surrounded by friends, always touching and talking and laughing. He had the party, all safe, he had his mom. But he’d died, left it all behind and Steve was in his place, taking that spot from him. It didn’t seem fair. Steve really didn’t belong here.

“Steve?” Robins voice called as softly as he’d ever heard her. He turned away from the pictures to where she was standing by the phone, already held in her hand. She tilted her head toward the dial on the wall, silently asking if he’d like to do the honors.

He shook his head but walked over to her, stepping in as close as he could. She wrapped an arm around his waist and held the phone to her ear, inexplicably dialing the Wheeler’s number. He glanced over at Nancy, leaning against the archway to the kitchen.

“Our moms have girls’ days sometimes. That’s where they all are now,” she whispered as Robin finished dialing. He could hear it ring. The phone anxiety was creeping back up on him, clawing at his throat. What if she’s mad they interrupted, what if she’s sad he’s not really her Steve, what if she doesn’t care, what if-

“Hi Karen, can I talk to Linda?” Robin’s voice cut through his spiral. He could hear Mrs Wheeler on the other end calling out for his mom, heard giggling in the background and wondered how many of their parents were there. Linda. Robin Buckley was on first name basis with his mother. The more things stay the same, the more they change or whatever the fuck that saying was.

“Hello? Robin?” His mothers voice called out through the speaker. Robin gripped his waist tighter, squeezing three times. He tapped her hand three times right back. It was okay. He’d be okay.

“Hi Linda. I uh… sorry to interrupt!” Robin responded.

“Oh, nonsense, is everything okay? You’re all there, right?” Her voice was so soft, so kind. The last time he’d heard the same voice it was cold, hard like stone. A frigid ‘We’re very disappointed in you, Steven’ tossed his way before his father threw down job applications on the kitchen table. He blinked back the memories and tried tuning back into Robin.

“-don’t really know how to explain it, we just… uh. It’s about Steve.”

It was silent on the other end of the line. The static counting down the seconds before his mother cleared her throat to respond.

“What about Steve, Dear?”

Robin turned to look at him, a vague panic in her eyes as she didn’t know how to respond. They probably should have thought this through more, figured out something to say before calling. It was too late now.

“Um… uh… Something… happened this morning and we think it’s, you know, campaign related,” Robin emphasized, as if she were adding a wink, wink onto the end of her sentence.

She continued, “There’s some, uh, gates we think have opened and someone’s stumbled back into our lives.” Steve felt her shrug helplessly, letting go of his waist to give Nancy a sort of ‘please help me, I’m drowning here’ look, gesturing frantically to the phone. She marched over to them and slid it out of Robin’s hand, stepping in between the two of them.

“Hi, Linda. We think you should come home and see for yourself. It’s a lot, so just… try not to freak out,” Nancy added. Robin smacked her hand to her forehead, that would definitely make someone freak out.

Steve didn’t hear the end of his mom’s call, just the whispered frantic arguing between Nancy and Robin. Eventually, though, Robin hung up the phone and they all looked at each other. At least that was over now. The actual explaining this though was going to be harder. Where did they even start? Everyone was going to flip out the second they saw him, and Steve was exhausted enough already. He couldn’t wait for this part to be over, he just wanted to rest.

This much energy, this many people and conversations and socialization wasn’t something he was used to anymore. It was a bit suffocating, but that could also have just been the panic. It would take about fifteen minutes to get here from the Wheeler’s house, same for the boys at the strip mall — though, Steve wasn’t sure if they’d finish out their shifts first or just make a break for it. They were never good at impulse control.

He decided to sit on the staircase at the entryway. He figured being right there would sort of rip the bandaid off, so to say. So, he sat on the cold hardwood steps, felt Robin plop herself down next to him, and he waited. The dark wood table against the wall of the entryway was the same in his world, though there was a vase of fresh flowers, recently filled. Alive. In his world, they were never real to begin with. Instead, there was a large vase of scented sticks, some minimalist bullshit decor that meant nothing. He stared at the flowers, outlined each and every one to keep his mind away from the panic, to keep himself rooted to the spot.

He used to sit here after saying stiff and formal goodbyes to his parents. He’d watch them leave, tell them have a safe trip, close the door behind them and then just… sit on the stairs. He’d sit for minutes or hours or whatever amount of time it took him to get over himself and get back on with his life. Who cared about some superficial woes of a rich boy? What was he going to say, that he missed parents he never really had? That he wanted his mommy? It was pathetic. So he’d dust himself off, though a spec of dust probably didn’t exist anywhere in the Harrington house, and call up Tommy and Carol to tell them he had the house to himself again. He could fill it with as many people as he wanted before they got back, he was fine.

Now, instead of shaking himself out of it, he was snapped back by the sound of high heels against the brick steps outside. He held his breath, or maybe he just forgot to breathe all together. Before the handle was touched, a stampede of sneaker noises caught up to the heals on the steps, the panting and gasped complaints bleeding through the door.

“Hi, Mrs Harrington,” he thought it was Will’s voice that filtered in.

“Hi, boys. I’m assuming you got a cryptic call as well?” She teased. She teased. He’d never heard that tone before in his life.

“Yeah, Dustin called right in the middle of our shifts!” Lucas accused, as if Dustin didn’t specifically tell them to finish their shifts before coming over.

“Aren’t you going to get in trouble for that?” She asked

“Oh please, Keith can’t afford to fire us anyway,” Mike muttered.

With the greetings out of the way, someone finally gripped the handle. The rattling of the metal put a fire under Steve’s ass and before he knew it, he’d booked it around the corner and just out of sight.

“Wait, Steve-,” Robin shouted after him, though the door finally opened and she was confronted with four startled faces before she could run after him.

“Steve?” Lucas shouted.

He muttered a quiet fuck under his breath and braced himself. He couldn’t just leave Robin floundering around by herself out there, that was too cruel. So, instead of being an absolute coward he took in a deep breath, held it for just a few seconds until his lungs felt stretched to their limits, and then he let it all go as he stepped around the corner.

—

Sorry about that one guys, I hate cliff hangers but I never know where else to stop these lmao you'll meet Linda Harrington in the next one! We'll also hear from Eddie 👀

I'm still adding to the taglist as well, so feel free to ask!

@weirdandabsurd42 @sirsnacksalot @space-invading-pigeon @aliea82 @goodolefashionedloverboi @emly03 @bestwifehaver @mentallyundone @13catastrophic-blues @estrellami-1 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @likelylad @aellafreya @wxrmland

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