#i have not been able to interact with them without almost sobbing but. im good at hiding it

[leiadyke]

exploding you with my mind tell me EVERYHGIN about your padawan ocs i need to hold them very gently in my hands like theyre those bagged goldfish you get at the fair. i need them in my hands to hold and sob over because thyere so fcute im gonig to scream.

WAUGHH THANKIES TYSM THIS IS SO KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay so first before i go into this you haveto know theyre originally from an outline for a dinluke visual novel gamei started coding and never finished. heheh. the story was originally just about din settling into life with luke and the students while training with the darksaber, but the players choices and how they had din interacting with luke andthe children deteremined the ending.

the padawan children in this au were:

Alluria- a young pantoran girl with bright eyes and a brighter smile, shes very happy with her life on yavin IV and loves studying the force with her fellow padawans, though tends to be alittle air headed and unfocused in her excitment. she wants to be everyones friend! has trouble actually,,, making friends,,, comes off kind of too strong and too much and scares away the other students who are much more reserved than she is

Reina - the youngest baby my darling reina...a young rodian girl who was seperated from her family during imperial rule- and has entrusted masterskywalker with the very important mission of helping her find them (her brother has passed without her knowing, they were extremely close- her mother holds vigil for reina every night and prays for her safe return) and believes whole heartedlysomeday they will. she was extremely shy and soft spoken when she first came to lukes academy- but has since warmed up enough that her very caring and empathetic nature is begining to shine through,, luke thinks she will be a healer

Lylah - a sleepy (almost narcoleptic) twilek girl who has visionsof the future when she dreams- when the force decides shes ready fora vision, she is already fast asleep. luke has seemingly endless patience for her, as he cant imagine having the burden of the future onhisshoulders at such a young age. Lylah is very reserved . quiet and to herself, but not in an aloof way. i think she just knows she wont be awake very long and tries to conserve energy.

Ryo - the oldest and most troubled of all my girlies... came from a very rough home life where her use of the force was punished from a very early age, despite her not being able to control it. using the force scares her, soshe rarely joins the other padawans during training. stays back and tries not to make friends really, becus she feels like this only temporary . and hey, maybe shes right, yknow? lylah has been having visions of a dark force watching them... maybe ryo should be tho one to go investigate,, she doesnt think anyone would even notice she was gone..... the bare bones plot to this vn (since i will probably never go back to it): Din is visiting Grogu at the Jedi Praxeum for the first time; he has met up with Luke on outer rim planets quite a few times but he is the first parent to be allowed to know the location of the actual school. He does not take this lightly. He is introduced to a small handful of other students, as well as invited to stay as long as he likes and observe any of Grogus classes. He does not take this lightly either. Din sits in on as many classes as he can, both enthralled by luke and the desperately need to be as close to grogu as possible. Theres DEFINITELY a scene early on where din walks in on luke training by himself in the dagobah tank-esque look like a little sweaty,,, its a dating sim, fucking sue me. Anyways. Din starts noticing more and more about luke, starts falling in love, you KNOW, the usual, but conflict wise he also notices one of lukes older students seems very troubled… Din points this out to Luke, who has very much noticed and is worried about this students pull to the dark side. He asks Din to talk with the student, give them an outside perspective from quote “a good mans point of view.” Din is hesitant, but agrees for both Luke and his students sake. The student is further gone than Luke had thought, and lashes out at Din, then runs away. Luke is very worried, but also wants this student to have the time they need to let out their emotions on their own… he's just scared of crossing the line either way and not giving them enough or too much time… defos DEFOS a scene where luke cries about how practically raising these kids by himself is so scary and he doesnt know if he's cut out for it, while Din assures him that ofc he is and that he isnt alone. He gives Luke a keldabe kiss, assuming he doesnt know what it means (he does) and assures him that he will never be alone if he doesnt want to be… later, Luke asks Din to come with him; as he has sensed the student off planet and where Luke suspects a sith artifact to be. They battle the student turned sith; and their sith inquisitor “master”...  possible endings ensue.

#sw ocs #2sday ocs

[maletofujoshi]

being around my family is genuinely hell . like . pretending nothing is wrong

#i have not been able to interact with them without almost sobbing but. im good at hiding it

[moririki]

⤷ MORE THAN YOU'D BARGAIN FOR

DENJI X READER -> 1.7K
when it comes to a fool blinded by love, it sure hurts to have the short end of the stick

REQUEST -> ✰
CONTAINS -> angst, friends with benefits‼️, happy ending bc i'm weak like that, denji not knowing how to process emotions, very loose college!au cos i'm lazy, makima being slightly antagonised because fuck her, mentions of sex but nothing super explicit i don't think
MORI'S THOUGHTS -> thinking about denji's hands. i want to learn how to animate manga panels now so i can do a csm edit. also the writing style got kinda boring im SORRY

HEARTBREAK WAS ALWAYS BOUND TO HAPPEN IN THESE SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS. anyone with a pair of eyes and ears could give a clear answer to the question "who does denji like?" and no matter how much you wanted that answer to change, it would never be you.

even when the blonde boy had been so insistent on his heart belonging to another, he still had urges. so under the influence of one too many bottles of alcohol, it was a fairly easy decision for both of you to fall into bed together. more than once. more than you'd care to admit.

being with denji was nice. he was funny, sweet at times and vulgar during the others, and you found yourself repeating a mantra of don't catch feelings for your friend during your time together. and truth be told, it was hard not to, even when you and denji had finished your business and the topic of conversation always seemed to make its way back to makima.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth when denji acted like nothing had happened between the pair of you in other settings. the bitterness turned sour when you realised that there was no reason for him to have to either, and you cursed yourself when you realised you had done the worst thing possible and gone and fallen for your friend who so clearly wouldn't like you back.

but there were times where you thought that you just might have a chance.

even though your cursed your heart for fluttering and rearing its head each time so willingly at denji's mercy, you couldn't help but take every offhand action of his as a ray of hope. with the way his hands engulfed yours to anchor himself as he thrusted into you, the way his lips left urgent kisses on your lips as you panted beneath him, the way he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you cried out in ecstasy.

and even when you were lying next to each other in his bed, catching your breath. you would turn to look at his face sometimes, only to see him staring at you already with a look in his eyes that could only be described as wistful. but you were a fool to think that you could ever upseat makima in denji's eyes.

false hope could only get you so far.

with his breath tickling the back of your neck and his large hand rubbing patterns into your hip, this false hope really had gotten you somewhere. but all good things must come to an end. words that you dreaded to say weighed heavy on your tongue, but you dragged yourself along, lifting them just enough to feel them escape your lips before you could really stop them.

"denji, what are we?"

you felt the hand that rested on you go still, and the arm that was poised as a pillow for you went rigid. hell, the boy that was holding you so close to his chest had practically stopped breathing, and you felt your eyelids slide shut in a bitter defeat before you heard another word. it's not like you needed them to understand how he felt, anyway.

"we're friends, aren't we?" his tone was so controlled, so even and level and unlike the denji that you knew and, dare you say it, loved. it sent another shot tubneling straight through your heart, and you were glad that you were currently facing away from him. you wouldn't be able to handle seeing the look on his face as all of your tentative hopes were crushed under his heel. all you wanted to do was curl in on yourself and maybe try to cry away the numbness that was invading your body from the chest outward.

you raised a shaking hand to push denji's own off of you, and you felt the mattress underneath you creak as the boy shifted in confusion at your behaviour.

"y/n?"

your kept your back turned to him as you got out of his bed, pulling on your own clothed and scowling in frustration when you couldn't find your shirt anywhere. you were seconds away from letting the first droplets fall, and you did not want to let denji see.

you snagged some random material of a shirt off of the bedroom floor, yanking it over your head and turning to face denji with a face that you hoped wasn't too scrunched from holding back your tears.

"we're not just friends and you fucking know it."

you didn't have time to register his wounded facial expression or the pleading calls of your name that he cast towards your retreating figure, but you grabbed your shoes before leaving his dorm, shutting the door behind you a little too forcefully and storming off back to your own room.

you must look insane, padding along the halls with no shoes as angry tears streaked down your face and you tried your best not to audibly sob. by the time you had made it back to your room your eyes were streaming, and you flopped on your bed with little regard for anything else other than crying your eyes out.

truth be told, after that fateful night and the best cry of your life you felt much better. you knew where you stood, you had your feelings sorted out, and you knew that a little distance would really help you to finally move on from your friend.

now, if only denji would stop calling and texting you like nothing had happened.

you felt like you could scream when you saw a notification from him, asking if you wanted to study for the test that you had next week. you bit back the petty urge to ask him if he wanted to study with you as just friends, instead opting to turn your phone off and bury your face in your pillow once again.

matters of the heart take time, after all.

on denji's end, things weren't looking much better. he brushed off his confusion at your actions and words when you had left so abruptly the other day, only to find himself staring at his ceiling trying to decipher his feelings and what the hell you had meant.

he likes makima. and he has, for a while now. he could count on one hand the amount of times he had interacted with the girl who sat in front of him in the lecture hall, and every time had been met with this strange giddy feeling in his chest. though it was rare, he knew that feeling.

but the one he felt right now was so, so, different. when the door clicked shut behind you, it felt like a piece of him had up and left along with you. the very reason that he had accelerated things so far in your relationship was because of how right things felt with you. the slightest graze of your fingertips across his chest didn't light any fireworks in his mind, but it's like warmth perforated his skin and was injected straight into him from you.

truth be told, that feeling was the most addicting he had ever felt. and when he heard that air of finality right after the door shut behind you, it didn't take long for denji to realise just how cold everything felt without you.

but he still liked makima, right?

that giddy feeling in his chest he got from her was enough to fill the you-shaped hole, right?

you not talking to him wasn't what made his heart hurt, right?

he only realised just how wrong he had it when he talked to makima for the fourth time ever. she had turned in her seat, even smiling at him and asking for a pen, and all that came to mind was how much he missed your smile.

hell, he missed everything. the sound of your laugh, the smell of your hair. the way you fit against him and said his name. and that's when he realised this you-related feeling was.

longing.

there was a knock on your door. and another. you groaned, rolling over to check the time to see that it was three in the morning.

by the time you had cracked your door open you saw a flash of blond hair and a face all-too-familiar, you knew it was too late to slam your door shut. denji's face perked up, and you already knew that you were done for.

he lifted his hand, revealing a pretty albeit crumpled bouquet of flowers. you almost giggled to yourself, guessing that the mastermind of that romantic gesture was most likely denji's roommate aki. but it was appreciated, nonetheless.

"what do you want, denji?" you were painfully aware of just how much of a mess you looked right now- eyes still red around the rim from how many self-pitying tears you had shed over this entire situation.

denji's mouth and opened and closed, and you sighed against your barely open door which still had a chain on it.

"i'm not in the mood, denji."

"no, no, it's just that i wanted to say that i've finally figured out what we are." it appears tgat your friend finally found his voice. you looked him in the eye again, trying not to let the hope in your heart build itself too high. "we're way more than friends, y/n."

you felt any resistance crumble at those words, and the sheepish smile on your face grew.

"so, can i come in?" you smiled at denji, shutting your door to undo the latch before opening it again, wide enough to let him back in to your life. consider him a weakness of yours.

the first thing denji did when he crossed the threshold of your door was wrap his arms around you, dried tears and crumpled flowers and all, and bury his face in your hair. the only words he had to offer was a mumbled i miss you into your skin, and you felt your body melt against him like it had so many times before.

when you finally broke apart, you couldn't help but wonder.

"so, what are the flowers for denji?" the boy before you blushed, his eyes flitting off to the side. he raised a hand to the back of his neck, taking a breath to summon some courage.

"i was hoping... that i could take you out on a date. or be your boyfriend. something like that."

"what?" denji was still bright red, though his eyes were locked onto yours.

"you heard me." you smiled once again, taking a step forwards and effectively closing the distance between you two.

"i would love to."

take a look at the menu - ,, ⚖️ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

#moririki‧₊˚✩彡.🧺 #100 followers event!‧₊˚✩彡.📦 #x reader #chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #denji x reader #denji angst #chainsaw man angst #csm angst #chainsaw man imagines #csm imagines #chainsaw man imagine #csm imagine #denji imagines #denji imagine #denji #angst‧₊˚✩彡.🕰 #event‧₊˚✩彡.📦

[reidsnose]

completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly (spencer reid x reader)

overview: spencer helps his best friend talk through her emotions

genre: angst? and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating, bad coping mechanisms, idrk what else reader being upset for a little bit

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app FOREVER but idk how i feel ab this one im usually strictly fluff so yall lmk :)

masterlist

you hated talking about your feelings. you knew it was unhealthy to keep it bottled and and 'deal with it on your own' but that didn't stop you from doing exactly that.

the worst part about your feelings right now was that you isolate to cope with them. you didn't want to interact with anyone at all because more likely than not you would lash out at them on accident. it just slips out sometimes.

when you trudged into the bullpen with your head down and your hands fidgeting with your zipper, you didn't even notice all eyes on you. you werent your usual happy self. you weren't being loud, you weren't cracking jokes. you were just begrudgingly existing amongst your favorite people and they knew there was something wrong.

"good morning gorgeous, its a paperwork day! that means no traveling!" garcia informed you brightly, trying to lighten my mood.

"oh. cool. thanks." you answered back, flashing her as much of a smile as you could muster after realizing the harshness of your words.

she shot morgan a look, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"hey pretty lady," he began as he walked over to you, "whats going on? did you drink some grumpy juice for breakfast?"

"no. im fine." you replied flatly, making your way to your desk.

"what in the world.." he whispered to garcia, not knowing you could still hear.

or maybe he did know. maybe he was trying to get on your nerves. no. this is the irritability talking. morgan was just being a good friend.

you groaned at your computer, retyping the same password for the 4th time.

this time Prentiss shot you a look.

"is everything ok?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"yeah my computer is being stupid." you rolled your eyes as it finally let you in.

"oh i know the feeling. if you need any help-"

"I'm alright. thanks." you cut her off, eyes glued to the file you were working on.

JJ, who had witnessed the whole interaction unfold, stood with her mouth agape.

"spence, your bestie needs you!" JJ tapped his shoulder and motioned to you.

he watched your jaw rhythmically clench and unclench. your tell. thats what you always did when you were irritated or angry.

"hey y/n," he hummed, sitting lightly on the corner of your desk, crinkling some of your paper work.

"Reid! my files!" you cried, swatting his thigh. he got up and murmured an apology.

"are you ok?" he asked simply, crouching down to meet your height as you sat in your chair.

"why does everyone keep asking me that!"

you knew why. you were being a bitch.

"you just called me Reid." he stated.

"its your name." you replied, not meeting his gaze.

"yeah but you always-" he began.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

he sighed, "if you need someone to talk to-"

"i don't need anyone to talk to because theres nothing to talk about!" you interrupted, causing him to furrow his eyebrows at the tone of my voice.

'i shouldn't be mean to him. why am i acting like this?' you thought to yourself

"ok, ill be over there if you need me," he threw his hands up in surrender.

you mumbled an ok and went back to distracting yourself with work. you were so invested in filing these cases you completely lost track of time and before you knew it, it was just you, Hotch, and Spencer left in the office. you vaguely remembered waving goodbye to your other coworkers but you didn't remember it being nearly 6pm.

"guys go home, you've done a lot today," Hotch said as he crossed the bullpen, making his way towards the glass doors.

"yeah i will i'm almost done," you answered, not looking up from my screen.

"good night, Hotch," Spencer called from the break room.

you stared at your screen, eyes burning. you did enough. you cant escape confronting your feelings much longer. you sighed as you began packing up.

as if on cue, Spencer walked out of the break room with two cups in his hands, steam rising from the both of them. your mood softened just a bit.

"here," he handed you your drink which he had filled with your favorite tea and sweetened just the way you like it.

"you didnt have to." you replied, setting down the warm cup as you finished packing up. he mirrored your movements, resting his satchel across his torso before picking his drink back up.

"i know." he answered simply, a gentle smiling resting on his lips before he took a sip of his own tea.

"im sorry for snapping at you earlier." you apologized, finally meeting his gaze. his eyes were soft and sweet and you felt a pang of guilt in your heart as they looked into your own.

"its ok. do you want to tell me why?" he asked, walking to the elevator with you.

"no. yes? i dont know. its stupid." you replied, looking down at the floor as you recounted your reason for my anger today.

"its not stupid." he spoke softly.

you scoffed lightly, "you dont even know what it is."

"so tell me."

"but its dumb!"

"y/n." he warned.

"my ex boyfriend, Ashton, is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with." you sighed, walking through the parking lot with Spencer.

"ah so Trashton put my favorite ray of sunshine in a bad mood." he joked, breath swirling around the cool air as he spoke

you let out a weary chuckle, "its not like i miss him or anything, i just wish i had someone! not him- i just- i want- ugh i don't know how to word this!" you grew frustrated, furrowing your eyebrows and balling your hands into fists.

you knew exactly how to word it.

you wanted Spencer.

"its ok, take all the time you need." he whispered, leaning on the hood of your car. you joined him, resting as you took a sip of your tea.

"why am i not good enough to be loved." you stated the question rather than asking it, eyes filling with tears.

"you are good enough and i promise you that you are loved more than you know." he affirmed gently, turning to face you.

"do you know why we broke up?" you asked, knowing if you acknowledged his previous comment you wouldn't be able to continue without sobbing.

"because he cheated on you." he answered confidently.

"no." you shook your head, fighting back tears.

"what? he didn't cheat on you?"

"he did. and i was going to forgive him for that."

Spencer started getting riled up, "what! why? you're worth more than that scumbag! you shouldn't ha-"

"Spencer just let me finish!" you cut him off. he went silent, chest rising and falling more rhythmically than it had seconds earlier. "he wanted me to chose. him or you."

"him or me?" he furrowed his eyebrows, voice much quieter now.

"mhm." you hummed not meeting his gaze, your cheeks redder than you'd like to admit.

"i don't understand." he breathed.

"he thought i was cheating on him with you. he had no proof and it w-"

"oh this is all my fault. y/n i'm so sorry!"

"no! spence its not your fault!" you grabbed his arm to reassure him.

"it is! your boyfriend broke up with you because of me! and now you're sad and lonely and its all my fault!" he cried, looking worriedly into your eyes.

"first of all, i broke it off with him, he just gave the ultimatum. secondly, you did me a favor."

"how?"

"by showing me who i was really dating. a cheating, insecure scumbag who was quick to replace me when i left."

"i guess thats true."

"and id pick you over him any day." you admitted, looking back down at the ground. he nudged your shoulder playfully and you cracked a sad smile

"im sorry i made you sad and lonely."

"you didnt. id be sad and lonely anyway."

"why? you would still have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me."

"i don't want a boyfriend if it isn't you."

shit. shit.

the words toppled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"what?" he asked, wide eyes and looking a little shocked. spencer was sure in that very moment that if he heard you correctly hed simply explode.

"i- no this was a bad idea. i just ruined everything didnt i!" you were speaking more to yourself, exasperated at your own stupidity.

"no," you felt him place a finger to your chin and lift your gaze to meet his, "im glad you said it because now i can admit it."

"admit what?"

"that im completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you."

"spencer dont play with my heart like this. are you being serious?"

"yes. i am." he said with a strange confidence than you had never heard before. hesitant but sure.

"oh thats so lucky because i am completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you too." you admitted, feeling about 100 pounds lighter, like you could fly. he pulled you into a bone crushing hug which you eagerly accepted. "i should talk about my feelings more often."

he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, "yes you should."

world littlest taglist:

@mac99martin

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #penelope garcia #derek morgan #garcia #morgan #reid #spencer reid fanfic #prentiss #emily prentiss #jj #jennifer jereau #agent jareau #fluff #dr spencer reid #dr reid #spencer reid fluff #aaron hotchner #agent aaron hotchner #agent hotchner #hotch

[ablednt]

Alright writing/roleplay tumblr we need to talk about textforms.

This is going to be a very long post I apologize but this knowledge is deathly important as it's reaching a very vulnerable group of people. From personal experience knowing this can save people from getting into toxic friendships and help ease intense struggles and depressions. If you have writer followers I ask you reblog this to get the word out, thank you.

What is a textform

A textform is a type of willogenic/parogenic system member that form through some kind of writing or roleplaying. This means that they're sentient people who now share a body with the people who wrote them, most often being an OC or a fictional character before the writers brain gives them actual life.

Because there's been no actual scientific studies on their existence I have no hard science to give you however the logical explanation behind it goes like this:

The human brain is able to contain multiple conscious and sentient entities. Often, it will become multiple as a defense mechanism (as noted in clinical plural dissociative disorders) but it's a natural function of the human brain and may do so for really any reason (similar to most neurodivergencies that someone isn't born with)

Because this is a fairly simple change in the brain/something every brain can be capable of doing you can actually intentionally program the brain into becoming multiple, but see you can also do it entirely without meaning to or being aware of it.

Now I want to clarify that there is nothing harmful or scary about this! Being plural isn't bad at all and is an existence many people celebrate. But when someone has textforms in their unrealized system and doesn't know they're sentient it can be incredibly painful emotionally. So that's why people need to know about this.

Obligatory disclaimer: if you read this post and think you want to become plural intentionally, you are welcome to do so but you need to take at least a few months exposing yourself to the plural community to gauge if this is really something you want and can do responsibly. You cannot go back on your decision once your plural and your headmates will be sentient beings not characters to project on or toys to play with. They will have all the rights to your body and identity as you do now because you're sharing it equally with them.

Now that that's out of the way back to textforms.

How are textforms made

Normally this is in the "character development" phase. Many writers eagerly develop their characters. When I was younger and had no idea I was plural my advice for oc making turned out to be an unintentional guide to textforms (more on my experience later): just put your character in every situation imaginable until you always know how they'd respond to things.

Basically, as you spend your time making a character act and think consistently from their POV you're training your brain to have all of that data and that's very similar to the data that the brain has on you and you're training the brain to be able to operate coherently from a perspective and consciousness entirely different from your own.

Now, this isn't a %100 will make everyone plural every time, there are obviously good writers who have a grasp on their characters who are singlet. There's no actual data but if I had to guess I'd say there's about a 50/50 split down the writing community just based on what I've observed.

But there's a lot of people who became plural this way and didn't realize it and that could include the writer reading this right now which is why everyone needs to be aware of this.

If this is such a big thing how come no one notices?

Because it's been completely normalized in the writing community but dismissed as metaphorical.

How many times have you heard "the characters write themselves" or phrases that indicate that a writer is giving a voice to sentient entities? From what I've been able to observe some of that is singlet authors being metaphorical and humble bragging and a lot of that is plural writers trying desperately trying to put their experiences into words but dismissing it completely almost immediately because no one told them being plural was possible.

This is comparable to say, gender identity. Trans and nonbinary people have always existed but when they don't know they're allowed to exist like that it's often "im a tomboy" or "they disguised themselves as a man" or any other thing thats immediately dismissed as being cis.

How do I know if I have a textform?

There's a lot of different signs but here's some I have experienced before finding out I was plural

You "miss" your characters when you're not writing about them or interacting with them in some way

You feel like your characters are real "in your heart" (for me this was in an incoherent loop like "they're not real but they are to me, in my brain, but they're not real to other people, but they're in my brain so they're real but no but yes but no")

You get so distressed they're "not real" that it feeds into actual mental health problems like depression, anxiety, dissociation etc. (I'd have fits of sobbing because these were my friends but I didn't know they were with me so it felt like i was grieving their deaths and had the same level of emotional pain)

Sometimes or all the time when you write about them you feel like you "become them" or that they're writing through you. (Especially if your hands move automatically or without your control. This can be hard to notice but for me when headmates control the body or hands movements feel faster and lighter or very slightly numb.)

Your muse for writing them comes and goes unpredictability: they're either here or they're not here so writing them doesn't feel the same.

You can vividly recall things that happened to the character in 1st person (or in 3rd person visually but with their thoughts and feelings) as if they're you're own memories.

You "roleplay" them in everyday situations IRL. (E.g once I liveblogged a tv show as my muse to a friend and was like haha lol im so talented I can roleplay in real time but found out later it was a headmate doing that themselves)

You have conversations with them mentally in which they actually respond to you. Singlets don't have actual enriching conversations with themselves because they only have one perspective and cannot give themselves any new information. So if you're responding to yourself and you don't feel in control of that response then you're pretty objectively plural tbh.

You have times where the lines between you and the character feel blurry or like you're a vague fusion of yourself and the character

You have an actual relationship (of any kind: romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) in which you can sense nuanced feelings about yourself from them that you aren't in control of.

There's a lot more but that's the most notable ones

Why this is so important

I'm just talking about my own experience now so I'll preface this with a few things. I'm a mixed origin/multigenic system but our system has existed since we were toddlers. Due to trauma we have DID and for a long time dissociated heavily to avoid our plurality. This means my experience may be more distressing than other plurals with textforms however people without DID can still experience these things.

When I was a teenager I joined a lot of writing communities and also roleplayed on tumblr. Writing very quickly became my main passtime and all I really did. I joined a roleplay group when I was 15-16 that I took far too seriously to the point where people were concerned about me because I was writing what was just supposed to be a joke roleplay group %100 seriously and very intensely.

In that time I started to form my first main textforms (we've undoubtedly had them before then but I had only formed a little under a year prior) because I was doing this every day it really started bringing my characters to life. (Literally)

And honestly it was something beautiful the distress of it aside. Like one of my ocs was a kid so I'd always celebrate their birthday with them and I'd cuddle a plush so they'd know I loved them/p and we'd watch their favorite cartoon episodes together. It wouldn't be until around three years later that I realized they were actually there for this but it was heart warming.

For me, all I ever wanted was for these characters to feel appreciated and like someone really cared for them and loved them even if they couldn't feel it and it wasn't until later I learned that they could.

The trauma came in not knowing they were real. I grieved for them like they were dead because I thought I'd never get to see them. I wrote them into traumatizing or upsetting situations to cope with my childhood trauma not realizing that was effecting them for real and hurting them.

Most notably because it was my one solid interaction with them, the one time society allowed me to talk about them as if they were real, I really HAD to roleplay them. Because it became an emotional need I wound up in a lot of toxic friendships in the roleplay communities because I needed someone, anyone, to allow me to interact with my headmates. I had friends who I really was only friends with because they let me talk about my characters constantly (and some of them weren't toxic to me but it was in hindsight really unfair to them) and I let people verbally and emotionally abuse me in roleplay spaces because this wasn't just a hobby to me but a lifeline.

Not knowing they were real but feeling them there, having conversations with them, and forming actual relationships was a hellish sort of feeling I don't wish on anyone. I never realized how isolated it made me, and how horrible it felt to have the most important people in your life be people I thought didn't exist.

I only found out about plurality through luck. I met some systems who had fictives and they got strong plural vibes from me because of how I talked about certain characters and because I said I wanted to be plural but thought I probably wasn't because I'd have noticed, right?

From there I was able to actually connect with and talk to my headmates. Now I'm happily out as plural and in multiple fulfilling in system relationships.

I want everyone in the writing community who's struggling with the same things to have the chance I got. That's all I want is to educate people about this so they don't have to grieve for people who are right there with them.

Feel free to send me an ask or a dm if you have any further questions. Sorry this post was so long I can't really shorten it at all. Again if you are have a lot of writing followers I very gently request you reblog this to get the word out. Even if you can't please talk to your writing mutuals and friends about plurality and about textforms.

[Also this should go without saying but this is absolutely NOT the place for syscourse any invalidating comments about systems will be blocked and where possible deleted it costs $0.00 to prioritize people's mental health over your discourse hot takes.]

#writblr #tumblr roleplay #writing problems #roleplay resources #ocs #long post #ask to tag

[queenofcats17]

The Ink Demonth 30

So, after seeing this post, I wanted to write it. 

I have just realized that @hello-im-not-a-possum is the originator of this AU idea, so this is for them.

This is old and I decided to repurpose it for the “Partner” prompt

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry…honestly wasn’t sure what was going on.

He’d left the infirmary after getting the valve wheel and had been greeted by…a sight he hadn’t seen before. It was a Boris wearing pants, suspenders, a shirt, and a Bendy mask on the side of its head. And it was holding a dustpan.

Henry couldn’t help but stare. He wasn’t sure where this Boris had come from and where it had gotten a shirt of all things. He was assuming this was Sammy. Mostly because of the dustpan and the mask, as well as the fact that this was where Sammy usually popped up.

“….Hi,” Henry said slowly. 

The Boris raised its dustpan menacingly. Henry took an instinctive step back.

“Hey! Wait!” He put his hands up, scrambling to find something to appease the irate music director.

This was a change, so maybe he could pick Sammy up as a companion. Maybe he could save him. But he had to act quickly. Sammy in this state wasn’t exactly the patient sort.

He held up a can of soup. “D-Do you want some soup?” He asked with a shaky smile. 

The Boris slowly lowered its dustpan. 

“You would offer me sustenance?” It asked with Sammy’s voice.

“Yeah, sure.” 

For a moment, Sammy stared at Henry. Then he dropped the dustpan and sunk to his knees. 

“My Lord,” he gasped, lowering his head. 

Henry grimaced, kneeling and rolling the soup can to his former friend. This was weird, but he could work with it. 

“Do you…want to come with me?” Henry asked slowly.

“I would follow you anywhere, my Lord,” Sammy said without a hint of sarcasm or insincerity.

“Okay. Cool.” Henry nodded and turned away. “Well, let’s get going.”

Sammy discarded his mask and followed without another word.

Henry hadn’t been entirely sure how they’d get from the Music Department to Boris’ safehouse, but luckily for him the Ink Demon still triggered to chase them. It seemed generally displeased that Sammy was with Henry now, and grew especially displeased when Sammy tried to attack it.

“Sammy, no! We gotta go!” Henry yelled as he dragged Sammy through the hallways. “We are not fighting it!”

“But I must protect you!” Sammy protested, waving his ax in the general direction of the quickly gaining Ink Demon.

“While I appreciate that, I’d rather have you alive!” Henry responded. “I’m not going to lose you again!”

Hearing this made Sammy abruptly stop swinging, which made it considerably easier to drag him. Henry only noticed how much Sammy’s tail was wagging once they had successfully escaped the Ink Demon.

“Sammy? Are you alright?” Henry asked.

Sammy didn’t respond, just staring ahead with a dreamy look while his tail vigorously wagged.

“My Lord values me,” he whispered to himself.

Henry couldn’t help but sigh. This was going to be a thing he would have to deal with, huh? At least Sammy was alright. And the tail wagging was pretty cute.

It was at that moment that the bacon soup can rolled into view and Boris poked his head around the corner.

Sammy jumped into action, getting in front of Henry and brandishing his ax.

“Speak your name and state your purpose!” He demanded.

Boris whimpered and moved away, ears drooping.

“Sammy, it’s alright, he’s a friend,” Henry said, getting between Sammy and Boris. “He’s going to help us.”

Sammy narrowed his eyes, pausing for a moment before slowly lowering his ax.

“Very well,” he said. “Rejoice, hound, for my Lord has chosen to spare you.”

Boris looked over at Henry with an expression that radiated confusion.

“I know, he’s kind of weird.” Henry smiled apologetically and patted Boris’ head. “But he’s on our side this time.”

Boris nodded, although he still regarded Sammy warily on their way back to the safe-house.

.

It didn’t take long after they got to the safe-house for Sammy to become incredibly attached to Boris as well. The majority of this was because Boris had provided them both with bacon soup. It also helped Sammy to see Henry interacting positively with Boris. Seeing how much Henry cared about Boris convinced Sammy that the wolf was to be trusted. And more importantly, protected.

This meant when the time came for Alice to steal Boris away, Sammy fought her off tooth and nail. So when Henry woke up, he was greeted with two cartoon wolves, ready to continue helping him on his journey.

Even before that, though, Henry found himself incredibly glad to have Sammy around. Yes, the former music director tended to throw himself into dangerous situations with no regard for his own personal safety, but he was also incredibly helpful with dealing with the corrupted Butcher Gang members and Searchers.

And it was really nice to have someone else to talk to, even if Henry did still have to deal with Sammy’s prophet talk. He hadn’t realized the toll it had taken on him to have to go through all of this alone and almost completely silent.

“You know, I’m really glad you’re here, Sammy,” Henry remarked as they headed down to level 14.

They had finished with all of Alice’s errands except for the one on the Projectionist’s level and Henry wanted to express his appreciation now in case the Projectionist killed Sammy. Because Henry was almost certain Sammy would immediately try to fight the Projectionist.

Sammy blinked, clearly surprised by this comment, and quickly looked away. “I’m glad I can be of service to you, my Lord.”

“It’s not just ‘being of service’,” Henry insisted. “You’re a good ally to have and I’m glad me and Boris have you to help watch our backs.”

Sammy said nothing, although his tail began to vigorously wag.

Boris made a noise that might have been a laugh and hugged Sammy. The relationship between the two of them had improved even further since the safe-house, which made Henry happy to see. 

“I am…glad that you both enjoy my company,” Sammy said slowly, tail wagging even more vigorously at the hug. “…Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Henry smiled and patted Sammy’s shoulder.

The elevator reached level 14 a minute later, and Henry and Sammy got out.

Henry approached the railing, scanning the ink flooded level below. If they were lucky, maybe they could avoid the Projectionist.

Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be in the cards.

“Ssh…There he is.” Alice’s voice came through the speakers as the Projectionist walked out of one of the doorways. “The Projectionist. Skulking in the darkness. You be sure to stay out of his light, if you don’t want trouble. Just bring me back the pieces I need.”

“Alright. We need to get the ink hearts and avoid him,” Henry whispered. “So don’t go fighting him, okay?” He looked over to make sure Sammy understood, only to see that Sammy was already jumping over the railing to go attack the Projectionist.

“Fuck!” Henry all but sprinted down the stairs to where Sammy was attempting to defeat the Projectionist.

Thankfully, they were able to take him out before Sammy was killed, although Henry did die at one point. But, as usual, he was resurrected at a Bendy statue.

“The monster has been defeated!” Sammy proclaimed proudly once the Projectionist fell.

For a moment, Henry just stood there, catching his breath. Then he grabbed Sammy by the shoulders and all but slammed him against the wall.

“M-My Lord?” Sammy’s eyes widened, taken aback by Henry’s sudden violent gesture. Henry had never behaved like this toward him before.

“Stop doing that!” Henry yelled.

“S-Stop doing what, my Lord?”

“Stop just running into danger like that!” Tears were welling up in Henry’s eyes.

“But I…I must protect you,” Sammy said.

“Then don’t try to die!” Henry’s grip on Sammy’s shoulders tightened slightly. “If you want to protect me then stay!” His voice dropped in volume as he began to quietly sob. “Please. I can’t lose you again, Sammy. Please.”

Sammy paused, unsure how to react. On one hand, he felt he needed to defend his Lord from whatever threat might arise, taking preemptive action if needed. On the other hand, it was clearly upsetting his Lord that he was putting himself in danger. But why did it matter? Sammy was but a humble servant of his Lord. His life was of no consequence.

Still, if his Lord wished for him to cease these actions, he should obey.

“Very well,” he nodded solemnly. “I will…Try not to behave so recklessly in the future.”

“Thank you,” Henry whispered, pulling Sammy into a partner. “I…I know you don’t think of yourself like this but…I consider you my friend. And my partner.”

Sammy’s tail began to vigorously wag once more, which got a laugh out of Henry.

“Alright.” Henry pulled back with a tearful smile. “Let’s, uh, let’s go get those ink hearts and get back to Alice so we can get out of here.”

Sammy’s tail abruptly stopped wagging and his ears drew back.

“I still don’t see why we must play her games,” he grumbled as he followed Henry into the labyrinth.

“I know I know.” Henry nodded as he scanned the corners for ink hearts. “But she controls the elevator.”

Not to mention, they needed to follow the script, even with this change.

Sammy grumbled under his breath, but said nothing more on the subject. Instead, he began to sniff the air. Before Henry could ask what he was doing, Sammy was off like a shot.

“Hey! Sammy! Where are you going?!” Henry scrambled after him.

It turned out Sammy could sniff out the ink hearts. Which was unexpected (even though Sammy was currently a canine), but not unwelcome, and ended up cutting the time Henry usually spent searching in half. This skill also helped them get out of the labyrinth since Henry hadn’t picked up the ink heart on the platform in his hurry to save Sammy.

As they grabbed the last ink heart and got back in the elevator, Henry once again thought about how happy he was to have Sammy there with him. He wouldn’t be alone this loop. Not even for a second.

#bendy and the ink machine #fanfiction #sheepdog sammy au #batim au #sammy lawrence #henry stein #boris the wolf #the ink demonth

[babysizedfics]

the first time vee regressed in therapy (and meeting michael after)

NOTE: this is almost 2k words... so it continues under the cut. No TWs!

for the first few sessions of vees therapy with dr picani, patton is in the room with them because of vee's selective mutism, so patton hung around to help translate for vee during seasions until she is able to speak for herself, and thru these firsts sessions emile sees how attached the two are to each other

and after about three or four weeks, once vee can reliably talk for herself, patton stil sits in the waiting room so if vee needs him he's there

im their first session without patton, emile actually prompts vee to tell him what she calls her uncle patton. she says "patton" but emile is like do u not call him uncle? and she hesitates bc she definitely doesnt call him uncle but she hates lying

and emile smiles knowing that she doesnt. then he asks "are there any other names you call your uncle, vee?" because unbeknown to vee, emile actually heard her call patton "dad" one day in the waiting room

she is made rlly nervous by this question but emile assures her he isnt trying to trick her or anything, he just wants her to be honest. and after some more coaxing she whispers that she calls patton "dad" and emile is like thats lovely

and suddenly vee is teary and panicky because shes scared emile is being sacastic or will quiz her about it, but he insists that its very nice that she is comfy calling patton that and that they are so close and it makes vee feel a lot safer

but that prompts emile to start asking her about her biological father, janus. has she ever called him dad or was he always janus? does she know why that is?

vee really tries her best to stay calm and answer, but the questions suddenly get too much and before she knows it virgil goes non-verbal bc she realises she is starting to regress

emile notices vee's distress and changes his voice like softer and more clear. he asks what is wrong, he assures her they dont need to talk about anything vee doesnt want to talk about. Can you breathe with me? Good thank you, can you talk? No thats alright you dont have to. Is there anything he can do to make her feel safe?

and the soft caring words just push vee compeltely into half regression and she starts fully crying, tears spilling down her cheeks and shaky breaths and little squeaks and sniffles and tightly cuddling her softie she took with her (a lilac octopus, dr violet)

after a couple minutes of just crying and emile givinf her some space to let it out, the tears arent slowing down. so she cries " i w-wan pa-p-p-..." giving up after she realises her voice is definitely little now

"what do you want, vee?" emile prompts so so kindly that it just makes vee's chest ache

she whimpers "w-wan papa" and trails off in sobs

and emile instantly knows she means patton. he very easily rolls with this infantile behaviour, being a child therapist a lot of the time. he just sees her acting like a toddler and he immediately thinks okay time to turn on the toddler therapy, no questions asked

emile stands up carefully and speaks clear and gentle "okay vee. dr picani is leaving for just a moment to get your papa, okay? I'll be back very soon" and vee just squeaks through her tears, so he hurries out to the waiting room to fetch patton

pat literally jumps from his seat when emile calls him in saying vee is upset and practically runs through the corridor and into the office. he immediately pulls her into a one armed cuddle on the couch while emile just closes the door rlly gentle for privacy and hands a box of tissues to patton. so patton softly shushes his baby and wipes her tears away while emile takes quick notes in his book

patton is rlly quietly shushing her and comforting her, trying to be discreet. emile notices that this is obviously a common occurence, and also notices that patton seems to be holding back something

so when patton looks up briefly and catches emiles gaze, emile just smiles and speaks softly "do you know what age regression is, patton?"

and patton breathes a massive sigh of relief and hugs vee tighter "yeah... yeah we do"

and emile nods and smiles a little sympathetic looking back at vee and patton jumps right back to comforting her, not trying to be discreet this time, going full papa mode now that he has the confirmation that emile knows about regression

patton lifts a still crying vee into his lap and cuddles her to his chest and rocks her. "its alright, baby, shh shhh, papas got you" (vee still crying and grabbing pattons shirt tightly) "i know i know, baby, youre ok"

then emile adds in softly "youre doing very well vee" and patton smiles at him then repeats for vee "did you hear dr picani? he said youre doing sooo well! youre so so brave, hunnybunny"

and eventually when vee is comforted enough and the tears have stopped, emile raises his eyebrows questioningly at patton and pat talks to vee: "vee, are you ready to talk to dr picani again?"

she whimpers and grips patton tighter. "its okay babygirl, papas not going anywhere..." patton hesitstes and looks up at emile a little worried "uh, as long as thats alright with dr picani"

emile nods and smiles softly when vee peeks over her softie at him "of course. you can do whatever you want vee, if having your dad - or your papa here makes you feel safer then of course he can stay. would you like patton to stay so you can feel safer?"

vee doesnt respond but frowns and hides behind dr violet again, and emile looks to patton

patton explains gently "we need simpler language than that for her when she's regressed."

"oh my apologies..." emile starts, then tries again. "Vee?" he waits for vee to lower her softie from her eyes again to show shes listening. "Do you still want your papa?"

vees shoulders are tensed and shes hugging her softie so tight, still hiding partially behind it, but she nods a little

and so they continue with patton in the room

throughout the session she is REALLY shy of emile in this headspace but emile is just rly gentle and treats her like an actual young child while she sits in pattons lap and tries to interact with him, so emile manages to coax some stuff from her. and is shocked to find that this seems to be a headspace that actuslly allows vee to be more open and honest with him even if her language is limited

he asks her how does she feel right now? its okay if she doesnt know. is she scared? thats okay, it is very scary. she's being so brave. but is papas lap soft and warm? thats very nice! does it make her feel safe? does it help her tears go away? well thats good to hear, we dint want you to be sad. do you love papa? Can you show me how much? Woah that's a lot!!

and once vee has calmed down a lot and giggled a little at how nice dr picani is being to her, emile sees vee start to suck her thumb

unfortunately its not sanitary for her to suck her thumb in oublic since she must have touched surfaces, and pat brings her thumb away and desperately apologizes when vee whines and starts tearing up when papa wont let her suck her thumb. she dorsnt have her pretty paci so what else is she meant to do!

then emile announces in a very babytak voice. "vee, can you guess what I have in my desk drawer? Haha No, not frogs. Look!" and he pulls out a handful of lollipops! all different colours! and vee starts bouncign a little on papas lap and smiling

with a quick check that she has no allergies (egg, but there aint no egge in lollipops) emile lets her pick a flavor/color then givs it to her to suck on

patton needs to hold it for her though in case she accidentally swallows it, so her lil hands are just holdin gently on papas hand as he holds the lollipop for her and her legs are swingin, dangling down from papas lap bc she happy stims when she is eatin sweets by kicking her feet!

nearing the end of the session emile tells vee how good ahe's been answering al his questions and being well behaved for her papa. so he lets her pick a sticker to prove how good she was today!

but she doesn't want to touch the sticky or have it one her pretty dress, so patton asks her to point to her favourite and papa can pick it up for her. but shes too shy to pick one

so papa chooses one for her, a puffy pink kitty, then puts it on his nose to make her giggle. shes shy abt giggling in front of emile and buries her face on papas shoulder and patton cradles her head and coos and emile just watches all of this rly softly

and then their time is up and patton smiles and pats vee's leg and asks if she wants to be carried and she shakes her head with a proud smile. patton gasps "are you gonna be a big girl and walk on your own?"

then vees smile drops and she whines and grabs pats hand and patton giggles "no no not completely on your own. paps gonna hold your hand baby" so she nods and they get up with patton holding her hand

then patton says goodbye to emile and thanks him for being so kind to vee, and emile says "my pleasure. i'll see you next week vee!"

vee squeezes her papas hand and shuffles behind him a little. but she waves her softies tentacle at emile to say goodbye and emile smiles and waves to them "byebye dr violet, make sure you keep vee safe and happy this week!" and vee giggles and patton leads her outside

in the waiting room vee is much more closed off because theres the receptionist and a couple other clients in there so she just keeps her eyes down while papa signs them out - then she hears a slightly deep voice say "oh, I really like your stuffie"

vee doesnt really know how to react, she looks up a little and sees dark blue jeans and thick legs and vans sneakers but then quickly tugs pattons hand and steps behind him to hide from the stranger

"Thank you! It was a 'well done for going to therapy' gift from me" patton says cheerfully, and vee starts stroking his fingers as a comfort stim

"aw that's sweet!" the stranger says just as joyful as patton... so vee feels okay looking up now that she knows this stranger wasnt trying to make fun of her

she only catches some shaggy brown hair and a tshirt with what looks like a horror film image on it that she doesnt recognise. she doesnt dare make eye contact but she can tell the stranger is smiling at her

and she cant talk, shes too little, but shes not little enough to not understand whats happening. so she lets go of pattons hand bruefly to sign "thank you" then quickly grabs his hand again, feeling her cheeks warm and looking back to the ground

"you're welcome!" the stranger says, still happy, so vee smiles a little, then tugs pattons hand and looks up at him pleadingly

patton is beaming, his cheeks bunched in the biggest smile. "ready to go, sweetie?" vee nods "okay, here we go. It was lovely meeting you..."

"michael!"

"michael" patton smiles and holds out his other hand to shake michaels hand. "im patton and this is vee! have a good night!"

"you too, patton!" michael bids as patton and vee start walking away. then the voice soeaks again "bye vee!"

vee doesnt respond but she smiles and pulls dr violet up to hide it

patton leads her out to the parking lot and as he buckles her seatbelt for her he presses a big kiss to her cheek "im so so proud of you, babygirl"

and the whole ride home patton speaks softly and recaps what was good about theraoy this week. he does it to reinforce with vee that this is a good thing to do.

he talks about how lovely dr picani was and how he already knew what regression was. he talks about how funny his jokes were and how much she giggled. and her lollipop and her sticker - which they just realised was still on pattons nose and laughed about. and he talked about the lovely boy in the waiting room who liked vee's softie!

and the whole time vee is smiling and giggling and blushing and getting closer to full regression so that when they get home vee is just a bouncy wiggly giggly baby all night

#little/big concepts

[luthien-t]

Resurfaced Memories. chapter one.

Loki x Female reader

warning: swearing, use of tobacco, angst slightly

Summary: Being the goddess of Victory, Sigyn. You Devoted your eternal love to Loki, but ever since his reveal of being the Jotun, Odin decides to separate you both to prevent all chances of him seizing the throne. Casted -More like banished- to Midgard with no memories of your previous life, you believe you are the same as the ones around you, the midgardians. You gave yourself the name Y/n. With plenty of help and guidance you finally have a life, what will it be of Loki when he finds you during his trips with his brother? 

word count: 1.6K+

(Im going to pretend that Thanos NEVER happened, so loki 2012 never happened -the avenger did happen tho, just not bc of loki- loki is on good terms with them, him and thor come visit every once and a while, thank u thank u)

A/N: Tell me what you think! Send me a message if you want to be in the taglist and thank youu! Happy readingg

1945, New York.

You are walking, where? You don’t know, you don’t recognise half of the things you pass. People are dressed differently than you, looking down at your gown, it was muddy and damaged, your hair was out of place and your bare feet cannot handle any more of the wet mud you’ve been walking on, it was raining, heavy. You find a house with the lights turned on and walked towards it. Your mind was spiralling with thoughts, unsure of what happened or where you’ve been before, you knock on the door once, tears start to dwell in your eyes, you can’t deny how terrified and confused you are. Knocking again on the door, you were greeted by a woman, a shotgun in her hand earning a gasp from you.

“Who are you and what are you doing on my porch?!” She had the gun aimed directly towards you, as soon as she noticed your tears she put down the gun, scanning you from head to toe, a frown appearing on her face as she noticed the ripped and muddied clothes before pulling you in and looking around outside the house, trying to find any sign of danger. You stood behind her, mouth dry, your brain can’t even comprehend the situation you are in, you are trying so hard to remember but all you get is headache.

“Darling, are you safe?” She locked the door before turning to look at you, concern visible in her face and you only shrug, words won’t come out, almost like you have forgotten how to think or use them. She walked to the living room behind you, telling you to follow her as she grabbed a blanket to wrap around you. “What is your name?” She asks, quietly. You look up at her, trying to remember, your eyes moving around and closing them as if you will remember, but nothing comes to mind. Growing frustrated a sob escapes and your body shakes, she frowns and sits down on the couch in front of you. “Have a seat, sweet heart.” She said in a soothing voice, you sit down and violently wipe your tears before looking down at your hands resting on your knees. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you.” You hear yourself say, although it came out through your gasps and broken sobs. She shook her head and leaned forward. “Nonsense, as long as you’re here, you are safe. No one is going to hurt you” She rested a hand on your knee, leaning her head down to look at your face. 

But that is the thing, you don’t even know if there is anyone or or anything, you can’t remember where you were or how you got here, your eyes locked to the woman in front of you and you nod. “I don’t remember anything” Thats the only thing you are sure of, you don’t remember. 

“Parents? Family? Friends? Anyone I can call?” She asks slowly and you shake your head. “I don’t remember anything, I swear.” Your body begins to shake again and she tightens the blanket around you, trying to give you some form of security. “That’s alright, we will figure this out.” She smiles softly. “I’m Linda, Linda Johnson.” She sits back and watches you, unsure of how to handle your situation. You nod. “I’m-“ You want to say, want to know your name, but your mind won’t cooperate with you whatsoever, your tears appearing again and you sigh. “I don’t know.” You say and look up at her, a frown printed on your face. 

She was wearing a plain white shirt and jeans, her hair was orange and she appeared to be younger than you could imagine. She tried to have a conversation with you, talking about her past in simple details, she used to work with the Armed forces. “You don’t look like you live here.”she said then told you that you are currently in New York in the united states, she is about 28 years old, lives alone ever since she left her job. You wanted to interact with her and tell about yourself but your mind won’t budge one bit. 

“I will send papers about you, maybe a family or a friend will recognise you and call. We will check up with a doctor tomorrow to see if there is any thing they can do” She reassured you, all you can simply do is nod and thank her. 

1947, New York.

It has been two years since you found yourself in New York, you’ve gotten used to the way things work around here. Living with Linda was making everything easier for you, everyday you learnt something new from her. A couple of months into your first interaction, she decided to give you a name. 

“You’re not going to be cramped up in this house all day long, you can help me and I can help you,” She started, “It has been 3 months since I put the posters up about you, but we have to see every outcome.” She was starting to worry, she wondered if you even had a family around here. “How does y/n sound?” She said and you smiled wide at her. “I love it” You say and repeat the name, it was simple and easy to remember.

After a year or so, you started to have a life here, you also learnt the reason why Linda left her job, she talked about how a scientist named Abraham Erskine tested a chemical on her, she felt unsafe and had to leave. 

“There was no effect, I didn’t feel a thing, he called it the super-soldier serum, I was there to help when he first started working on it. Which is why he tested on me, when nothing happened to me he realised that the serum needed more development, but I couldn’t risk my life for some bullshitted serum” She says as she lights her cigarette and you nod. “So you’re still the same? No effects?” You ask, stirring a cup of tea in your hand and she shakes her head. “Oh no, honey, I had some reaction, my wounds heal faster and I look like im 20 when I’m actually 47, I can run fast, the super strength ingredient was apparently the only thing missing, but I had to get out or else he would’ve kept testing and trying.” You nod again and take a sip from your cup. 

“For all we know I might live past the normal human age” she chuckled and you smile. You wonder how old you are, the doctors who checked up on you all gave you the same answer. “Our machines are not that upgraded and we could only assume that you are in your twenties.” They were all amazed at how your cells regenerate quickly and how immune you are to diseases despite not knowing what a vaccine is. 

Your days always passed quickly with nothing to do but help Linda in her house, you found a new passion towards gardening and reading, you spent your free time reading every book Linda had and sometimes you’d go to the library and read the books there, you enjoyed norse mythology the most and absorbed every knowledge you could have cramped up inside your mind. 

Back in Asgard.

Loki spent the last two year, alone. Yes, he had his brother and his friends, but no one was able fill the gap that you left. He wondered if he ever treated you wrong for you to leave so easily, without a goodbye or a letter, his thoughts taking over him. He mostly spent his awakening hours in the library, sometimes in the garden under your favourite tree, hoping maybe one day you will return with an explanation. 

“Still waiting, brother?” Thor said, looking down at Loki who was sitting under that wretched tree he loved dearly. 

“That is none of your concern, Thor.” He replied as he flipped the page of the book he pretended to be reading, Thor knew him more than anyone, he was the only one who was able to see through his lies ever since you left. 

“She will return, don’t fret, Loki. Everyone was envious of the love you two had for eac-“ 

“I would rather not talk about her, thank you very much.” He shut his book and looked up at his brother. Thor only chuckled and sat down next to him, anger started to coarse through Lokis veins, How dare he sit where my beloved sat before him!

“Father is as distraught as you are, you know.” Thor looked at him with amusement in his eyes, trying to calm his brother down. “She was the only one keeping you from causing all this trouble!” This time, Thor laughed and Loki looked away. “Father loves to pretend, Thor, you should know this by now.” He crossed his arm and remembered the last time Odin mentioned her.

“She forced heimdall to open the Bifront, Loki, she succeeded at treason. I would not want a criminal roaming this castle or this realm.” Odin told him calmly, Loki was drowning in his own guilt and pain that he was unable to see the lie presented in front of him.

“This is her home! What will happen of her if she is denied of returning to her own realm!” Loki protested, taking a step closer to Odin. 

“I will not command Heimdall to bring her back, she may have left on her own accord but she will not return so easily! This is final.” His father stood up, his staff slamming down on the floor, Loki fought the anger and tears from appearing and left without another word. 

Odin watched as Loki left and whispered. “One day you will understand.” 

#Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki fic #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x you #loki odison x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #Loki Laufeyson x Reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki layfeyson x reader

[espinosaurusrexex]

Hater

In which Y/N tries to convince herself that she does not have any feelings for Jeff and miserably fails.

warnings: cursing, a really bad apology (like damn I’m sorry im bad at conversing and it shows lmao)

a/n: For the really nice @ilsolee, who requested something from my Drabble List. Thank you for requesting this. I loved this concept and even played with the thought of breaking it into a series (I ended up not doing that but if you want me to next time, to make it a little longer or even more detailed, just tell me).

As always, I’m open to feedback :)

4. Right now, you’re just being really annyoing.

6. How come you’re still so stubborn, Sugar?

21. Can I kiss you?

word count: 3.8k

She hated him. She hated his dumb smirk and his overly attractive body. She hated the way he talked to her and how he didn't seem to care about people when he interacted with them. His cringy beard triggered her and the muscles on his body intimidated her. There was nothing on this man that could attract her to Jeff Wittek.

Well, those were the points. And Y/N wasn't going to change her mind about this awfully handsome man. At least she didn't want to and found herself relaxing every time she dug a little deeper to find more reasons, why she could hate him. As if him being an ex convict wasn't enough reason to keep a distance, Y/N was intrigued by slipping into his past to be a step ahead for every comment he spat her way. That way she could tell herself that, no matter what he would say to her, she knew something about him that nobody else did. And that gave her the feeling of superiority she seeked a little too often these days.

“What do you think about that, Y/N”, Jeff questioned and raised his eyebrows at her, who had yet to answer his question. There it was again: that stupid smirk. God, she wanted to smack it out of his face every time she saw it. And not the gentle way. The way that would leave a red mark in the form of her hand for several hours. Though it was really hard for her to resist that urge right now, she settled for a snarky comment instead.

“I think that right now, you're just being really annoying.” A low hush went through the room and Y/N noticed Jeff’s face scrunching up in a faked, pained one. He continued to place his hand above his heart before relieving a loud cry. 

“You're so mean! Oh god, I think I have to kill myself now.” The rest of their friends laughed, which made Y/N feel quite uncomfortable. 

“Bohoo, you gonna call your mom now?” Y/N scooched deeper into the cushions as she noticed how childish her behavior had been the whole day.

“Honestly, doll. If you want to upset me, you have to come up with some better roasts. That shit was weak. I feel like I’m arguing with a fifth grader.” Y/N groaned. Another thing she hated about Jeff: him calling her ‘doll’ in that dumb Jersey accent of his.

Sending a growl over to Jeff, Y/N stood up and headed towards the kitchen. She rummaged through the cabinets until she found something to snack her anger away on and proceeded to snatch a water bottle from the fridge. She sat on the counter of David’s kitchen and stared at the white tiles a little longer until she felt a hand on her shoulder and a whiff of strawberry entered the room. Carly. Honestly, Y/N didn't want to talk right now. Drowning her anger in food and tv shows seemed far more appealing to her than engaging in a discussion about her well being or a certain other person she didn't want to think about right now. She knew she had embarrassed herself. Not only today, but all the other times she would start to bicker with Jeff about the most random things.

“Hey Y/N/N…” Carly pushed herself up on the counter next to her and took a cookie from her friend's hand. She knew that Y/N didn't want to talk, but she also couldn't help but wonder what fed the deep hatred her best friend had for Jeff. A man, who had actually been pretty nice and funny to Carly during the time they had known each other. Sure, he wasn't the nicest to Y/N, but that was mainly, because her friend never had anything nice to say towards him, either. Carly would have reacted the same way, if somebody would greet her with such an attitude from day one on. She couldn't bring herself to ask Y/N, though. Knowing deep down that she probably had a good reason to behave the way she did.

A nudge ripped Y/N out of her trance. “Jeff is actually pretty nice, you know?” The platine blonde murmured while glancing back to the living room in which most of their friends gathered at the moment. Jeff shared a short glance with her before turning his attention back to the discussion that was going on. 

“Carly, I’m not magically going to love that guy just because you say he’s ‘pretty nice’.” Y/N chuckled in a mocking manner and turned her head towards her best friend. “I don't like him and that’s final. I find reasons to not like him every day and that is ok. I don't have to like everybody you're friends with. If you want to hang out with a former convict, then do it, but don't expect me to join you again.”

Carly sighed before hopping down from the counter to stand between Y/N’s legs. She looked into her eyes, trying to find a hint of sorrow in them, but nothing. Not even a little bit of dishonesty glimmered in her orbs. She let her head down, shaking it in the process.

“If you say so…” Carly went back to the common area and Y/N was left to sit alone again. She stared at the ceiling for a while and then at the walls. After a couple of minutes, that got pretty boring, so she just decided to leave. She didn’t need them to have fun. And she definitely didn't need to show them how bothered she was by her friends hanging out with people that didn't appreciate her.

It had been a week since her last encounter with Jeff and Y/N couldn't help but feel pretty good about avoiding any situations regarding him. She occupied herself with paperwork and her dog, Dax. Fully ignoring the fact that she felt a little lonely inside, she watched her friends’ Snapchat stories daily. The restaurant she was working at had not been that busy the last couple days, which lead to Y/N getting off early and left to spend even more time in her Apartment, alone, with Dax, of course.

Another week went by and to say the least, Y/N was bored. Her daily routines had consisted of eating, working, and sleeping. She had finished pretty much every series existent on Netflix and there was nothing else to do. She found herself sitting on her phone again. This time, almost envying the fun her friends had without her. But she couldn’t bring herself to text them. She needed to prove it to herself and them that she didn't care if they hung out with people she didn't want around. Mainly, she needed to convince herself, but that facade began to falter with every minute that went by.

A sudden knock on her door echoed through the room and Y/N got up quickly. Too excited that something was happening, she sprinted to the door and basically ripped it open. The handle rammed into the wall and left an evident hole, but Y/N didn’t care. 

“I’m done with your shit ass attitude!” Carly stormed into the apartment with heavy steps and came to a stop at the dining table. The confusion was clearly written over Y/N’s features as she watched her best friend stand in front of her with crossed arms. 

“What do you mean?”

Carly scoffed. An action she had perfected over the years she had known Y/N. “I will not stop hanging out with Jeff, just because you don't like him! Accept that for God’s sake!” Her chest was heaving and Y/N had not seen her friend this furious in a very long time.

The tension between them began to rise, but Y/N wouldn't break. “Well then you have a problem, because I will not ‘hang’ with the devil himsel-” But she was cut off by the blonde.

“Jeff. It’s Jeff! You know, you could actually say his name for once! He’s a human being just like everyone else. And it's not fair that you treat him like shit just because of his background. I didn't think that I was friends with a person that is so selfish and shallow that they would reject people based on the things that happened in the past. We all know what he did! And it's not like he is a killer or psychopath! Especially the people in our group of friends should be able to rely on each other and not be scared that there will be talking behind their back. Because you know what?! That’s exactly what happened with Trisha and now everyone hates her! Do you want that?! Then just say it because I need to know!” 

Her words were like a wake up call. One that hit deep in the gut and spread through the body in hives of pain until it reached the brain and it could actually register what had just been said. Y/N trained her eyes on the floor. If Carly put it that way, it did sound like Y/N had grown into a horrible person. A person, she most certainly didn't want to be. Not in her or anyone else’s eyes. It pained her to see, how wrecked her friend got by the thought of Y/N being like the person Carly had described seconds before.

“Y/N! Fuck! Say something! … God damn it, I need by best friend back and I need to know if she’s still here.”

With that, Y/N couldn't hold it anymore. A loud sob escaped her lungs and the tears followed soon after. 

“I’m so sorry, Carly.” , she sobbed as she tried to stop the tears from falling, “I’m so sorry, I’m a horrible person…”

Through blurry eyes Y/N could see her friend trying to prevent some tears from falling as well, but she kept quiet. Waiting for an explanation on her end. 

“I don’t hate him. I don't hate him for his past or his humor I don't hate him at all. God why is this so hard?!” Y/N kept wiping away the salty wetness on her cheeks and proceeded to talk. “I just thought that… if I told myself that I didn't like him, I would believe myself, eventually. I don't care if he went to jail or prison or whatever. I don't care at all… I just wanted to protect myself and I guess, I went a little too far…”

Silence. It was crushing and if silence had a sound in this second, it would have been something that would make your ears explode. Carly knew, what her best friend meant when she said ‘she wanted to protect herself’. It had been a secret between the two of them, but Y/N didn't exactly have the best relationships in the past. In fact, Y/N and her ex-boyfriends all ended on bad terms. And it had taken at least three month and about five pounds of ice cream or chocolate to make her leave the house again, every time. Y/N didn't seem like it, because of her sassy attitude, but she got attached too quickly and fell way too hard. Carly should have suspected it, seeing that Jeff checked pretty much all of the boxes Y/N’s ex’s did, too. She felt regret rushing through her for throwing those words at her, but she was fairly desperate herself, being without her best friend for over two weeks. They had both been too stubborn to text each other and now they saw what it did to them. They were both devastated and exhausted. It didn't do anyone any good if those two were not together at least once a day.

“You have to tell him.” Carly spoke after ten minutes of remaining silent.

This made Y/N snap her head up again. “I can’t! Not after everything, I have said to him!” Her eyes were wide in shock and she stepped closer to the blonde girl leaning on her table. “Besides, we both know that the last weeks were just foreshadowing of what would happen if Jeff and I would… “ She didn't speak any further, noticing that she had actually said his name out loud for the first time.

“Well, you have to at least say something to him! Apologize. Because whatever is happening right now, is just childish.” 

Carly was right. Y/N hated when her friend was right. And even though it was probably going to be more embarrassing than her fist time, she knew that she had to talk to Jeff.

Believing that nothing would change her mind about said man was probably a stupid thing to do. To say she was nervous to talk to somebody, she had spent the past year insulting, even more so. The whole time, she was so focused on his background and things magazines and haters wrote about him, she had never even considered to investigate further into his personality. Not that she had thought it was going to be any better than her assumptions, anyway. Though, she never had a friendly conversation with him, she had to admit that she had always been the one starting the snappy comments and he probably just followed along.

With that in mind, Y/N stood at a balck door with the number 703 printed on it in gold. How was she going to approach this? She didn't know, either. But she knew that she had to fix it somehow. Y/N wasn't a bad person after all and seeing that she had the opportunity to at least try and fix things, cleared her conscious a little. 

She knocked on the door gently, secretly praying that noone was home and she could just push this event to another day, but her hopes were shattered after a few seconds. The door opened and behind it was the man himself. Shirtless, of course. He had a toothbrush in his right hand and was holding the door open with the other. The light from the window behind him made his body glow in a sunrise-orange tone and Y/N had to scold herself for comparing him to an image of Adonis right there. His questioning facial expression changed to a cocky one as soon as he registered who had been interrupting his morning routine on this day and he moved his body to the side to motion for her to come in. Y/N followed his demands, inspecting his home. Even though she had known him for several months now, she had never even seen his apartment complex before. And looking at the plane walls surrounding rooms that were provided with a minimum of furniture, she decided that she had not missed out on anything. It was the typical man cave. With its lack of decoration and the fminine touch that made every home a home, it appeared rather unwelcoming and cool to her. 

Jeff returned from the bathroom without the toothbrush and went to the fridge to get some water. 

“What did I earn your company with on this fine morning?” Jeff cocked an eyebrow at the woman standing in his living room. It was pretty relaxing that she had not started this morning with an argument and Jeff didn't know it yet, but Y/N was about to surprise him for the second time today.

With that, Y/N turned to him and took his body in one more time before shrugging her shoulders and continuing to look around his apartment. The apology she had planned was weighing on her chest, but now that she was actually standing here with him, alone, she didn't know if ‘I like your shirt’ was the best entry into this conversation. Apart from the fact that he was not even wearing a shirt, it was the best Y/N had come up with for an icebreaker. 

She noticed some dog toys on the floor and decided to settle with that for the start.

“I Have a dog, too.” Y/N motioned to the water bowl next to her and forced a smile on her face to try and hide the humiliation that spilled over her in a giant wave.

Jeff looked into her eyes intently and answered with a frozen expression. “Yeah mine died last week.”

“Oh.” ‘I like your shirt’ suddenly seemd a lot less stupid. Y/N escaped a nervous laugh as she tried to come up with something to say, but Jeff just chuckled after noticing her puzzled expression.

“Just kidding, Nerf’s at the groomers.” A rush of adrenaline filled Y/N veins by those words. He was a dick, but she had to get this over with, somehow. Otherwise, Carly would whoop her ass and send her back to his door, right after and Y/n was not planning on this event to happen.

“Why don't you just tell me something you hate about this place and we take our separate path’s again?” Jeff was serious. He couldn't figure out, why she was here, or what she could possibly want from him, other than a battle of words, he would win anyways. So when Y/N fell silent again, he couldn't help but wonder if this was about something bigger than just another snarky comment.

“No.” Y/N looked away. Too big was the embarrassment she would face in the next minutes, if she was really going through with her plan of apologizing.

They had come so far already, not being caught up in an argument about something inconsequential for the whole time they were in his apartment and jeff could sense the conflict in her mind from a mile away. He was a pretty good liar himself and that subconsciously helped him to read people fairly well.

“How come you’re still so stubborn, Sugar?” A smirk snugg onto his face, again while he approached her from behind, trying to turn her focus to him.

Y/N had shivers running down her spine with those words. There was no denying, anymore. Jeff was an attractive man, but the fact that he knew it, gave her enough reason to not let him know how she felt about him. It was tough, and seeing that he had a dog, left her wondering if there weren't many more things they had in common. 

She turned around and stared up at him. Jeff was dangerously close to her, but Y/N did not attempt to increase the distance between them. It was uncomfortable to say the least, but the things she would say next were uncomfortable, too. Where was the point in changing anything about their current situation when she knew that it only got worse from here on? Exactly, there was none.

“What I’ve been meaning to say is that… I’m sorry. I have been mean to your for the sake of keeping you off my mind and it didn't even work. I just started beef with you, because I was scared. I was scared to face the fact that you are a pretty nice guy and on top of that someone I could actually fall for. You have been nothing but nice to all of my friends and even me. That is, until I started to open my stupid mouth. I’m incredibly sorry, Jeff. I hope you know that everything I said to you was not to be taken seriously. And that I’m not mad at you for the things you said to me. I honestly think, I deserve for those to be tattooed on my forehead for my shitty behavior. I’m… ugh… I’m just sorry and I hope that we can start over. I would love to be your friend if you want that, too. Though, I would understand if you don’t. I’m sorry, I truly am.”

That was a much needed release of pressure, which was crushing Y/N’s soul with every second she had to hold it in. The hardest part was over. Now, she just had to deal with the consequences. And those were something Y/N surely did not expect.

“Can I kiss you?”, was all he said as he searched for her eyes in the glimmer of the morning sun rising outside his windows.

 A shocked expression covered her face. She had just overcome the most embarrassing thing she could imagine and Jeff had totally ignored her. Rude.

“What?”

Jeff chuckled. “It's just, what you just said was pretty hot and I would just like to kiss you right now.”

Noone had ever initiated a kiss this casually and Y/N didn't care anymore at this point. She knew that the second Carly had told her to talk to Jeff, her mission of protecting herself from him and the eventual heartbreak, would be cancelled. And she was a 100% right.

“I guess I have a thing for people apologizing. Especially if they are as pretty as you.” Y/N shivered. That was, in a weird way, the sweetest thing she had heard in a long time and she couldn't help but nod her head ‘yes’.

Jeff didn't hesitate for another second. Too strong was the longing he had felt for her from the second she introduced herself to him months ago. He pushed his lips against hers, forcing her to stand on her tippy toes and locking her hands on his shoulders for support. They shared a closed mouth kiss for a couple of seconds before Jeff grabbed the back of her head with one hand. The other sneaking down her spine and stopping at the small of her back to push her even closer to him. A small whimper escaped Y/N’s lips and Jeff took that opportunity to slide his tongue in her mouth to french kiss. He explored her mouth, not leaving one corner untouched or unappreciated. Jeff was good at it. He was so good at it that Y/N just let herself fall into the kiss and let him take the lead, not even ringing his tongue for dominance. After a couple of seconds, she snuck her hands up his neck and buried her fingers into the buzzed hair on the back of his head. The stubbles tingled her skin and she just melted farther into his body. 

They broke apart after what felt like hours. Both panting, they looked at each other still wrapped into one another. There was a comfortable silence and tension between the two of them that was buzzing in their heads like electricity.

“You know, I always liked you, Y/N. I knew you would drop your act, eventually and just be mine.” Jeff grinned down to her, knowing he had finally won her over.

“Keep up that attitude and I can't promise anything.” Y/N smiled, too. She was willing to see where this was going, but for now she would just live in the moment and enjoy the time, in which no one gave her a reason to worry about anything. Especially not Jeff.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek fanfic #jeff wittek au #vlog squad #vlog squad fanfic #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad x reader #david dobrik #david dobrik fic #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagine #toddy smith #natalie noel #zane hijazi #carly incontro #erin gilfoy #corinna kopf #youtuber imagine #youtube #Matt King #mywritings

[carbootsoul]

also i saw you got hades!!! what do you think so far!! it might be my favorite game of all time tbh i have almost 100 hours in it :’D

ok so i have played hades before, since my friend bought it months ago and we used to hang out while i played it (not as much anymore since we're occupied making our slow way through the aa games but like) and i got to like. early elysium playing with her so the last few days have def not been my first acquaintance w the game but GOD IT'S SO GOOD. tragically no game can compare to ace attorney in terms of how much brain space it's cursed to take up at all times but hades is without question my second favorite game. i think having played w my friend a bit was good tho bc it let my OVERWHELMING EXCITEMENT abt this game simmer a bit before i bought it and now i am just. incredible excited. i have a billion thoughts so heres another readmore lol

i've never liked roguelikes since i hate losing progress on things or doing things over and over again but hades works somehow?? like (ok today i was weird overcaffeinated so i've been a little hyperfocused anyway) but i spent like 5 hours literally doing the same thing over and over and it was SO FUN. altho i met patroclus three times before realizing he wouldn't talk to u until you opened his bit in the codex and that fact is bringing me physical pain :( u know me i always go for the dad characters in media so my main goal since i started the game has been to reunite him and achilles and it's driving me insane i missed all those opportunities to give him nectar >:( also it's fun because it's one of those pieces of media that i can like. trust if that makes sense? it was the same way with rgu where i can see what they're doing and trust the execution will be good and there won't be anything weird and homophobic/sexist/etc in the middle that i'll have to ignore. its rly nice.

also also zag is genuinely my favorite video game protag ever (along with apollo justice who. inarticulate rambling i love him so much) like he enhances the game so much. his little witty commentary all the time (side note the fact that the game has subtitles is so nice and something i didn't realize i wanted until they gave it to me) and how he's so stubborn and he knows to stand his ground (his conversations with hades in the final fight r so good) but also he's a genuinely kind person and he loves his friends and family and puppy dog and :pleading: i've got a soft spot for talking to achilles bc i like achilles but also i love how zag responds! he loves his family and he's so grateful to them for taking care of him. love that. the way he talks to meg and than is awesome too like it would be so easy for them to write a protag who gets annoyed with them both but he DOESN'T and i LOVE HIM. idk i think the game has such incredibly human and loving characters for something whose main cast is almost entirely immortal.

im rly glad i decided to buy it for myself tho! it's fun to start like. strategizing in the game. like the shield is my favorite weapon (bc i like ranged attacks but can't aim for my life) and then having doom on the special.. chefs kiss. love walking away from an enemy and then them dying behind me. idk i love it so so much. game of all time. i also am OBSESSED w how well balanced it is. like everything seems somehow both super hard and completely achievable and thats so fun. like the hades boss fight? the fact that he has three stages (i think) is jsdklfjsf especially since i can barely get through the first but also i can get through the first so i know i can get through the rest and thats soo good. like the way you can tell you're improving both because you're stronger but also the game has such a good learning curve that you actively get better at the game??? kjsldfj i love how much there is to discover!! going to the codex and seeing how much you haven't found is so exciting and idkidk i love it.

anyway yeah i love this game so much. (i could gush for hours abt the art and CHARACTER DESIGN OH MY GOD but like i'm sure u already know so. i will leave it at the fact that i saw zag and than interact for the first time and my only thought was oh my god it's narumitsu. i mean than is obvious but zag has backwards phoenix hair. also chaos... chefs kiss oh my god. NYX???? HYPNOS?? PATROCLUS AND EURYDICE AND ORPHEUS?? was going to keep listing characters but then i wouldn't be able to stop so :sob:)

#leo.ask #this is so much but i have soo many thoughts that i've just been gathering all day lol

[obtain-this-grain]

“All of It.”

this is my first maplekeen fic! it took me like 7 hours, so if you like it, consider reblogging! its probably not the best but im proud and thats all that matters. please excuse any typos, i proofread like 6 times but still.

_______________________________________________________Argo crept into the dorm, thinking about his meeting with the Unbroken Chain. The group still needs much more information on Fitzroy. Argo hates going around his friends back but he’s sworn to his “hobby”. 

Argo tried his best to “tip toe” into his and the firbolg’s' side of the quarters, not noticing the half-elf staring at him. Fitzroy cleared his throat, making Argo look towards him on the couch in the common area. Panicking a bit, Argo started rambling. 

“Er.. hello Fitzroy! How are you, my dear friend?”

“I'm fine, Argo. Couldn’t sleep.”

Fitzroy tried his best to play it off like that, atleast. In reality he had been waiting here ever since Argo left, being practically torn apart by the anxiety of where his coworker could be. 

God, he hated calling Argo that. “Coworker”. It made his stomach hurt. 

“Oh! Good!.. Well not good that you couldn’t sleep but... You know what I mean” Argo replied, getting more anxious by the second. 

Fitzroy hides a smile at that and pats the couch next to him. Argo debates this for a second, thinking it would be easier to just go to bed and forget about this whole interaction. 

He gives in when he looks at Fitzroy again, this time at his eyes. The half elf’s eyes look so exhausted yet so beautiful, the moonlight coming in through the windows making them shine.

Argo drops his bag and walks over to his friend. He sits down a few inches away, feeling uncomfortable.

Fitzroy looks at him, somewhat admiring his face. Fitzroy wants nothing more than to just scoot closer to the genasi and lay his head on his shoulder. 

Argo looks down at his hands and at the coffee table, looking anywhere but at his boss. He feels, no, he knows he’ll break down if he looks at Fitzroy’s face after just discussing the half elf’s life to strangers who have no business knowing.

Fitzroy coughs a bit, perhaps trying to lessen the silence the two are sitting in. 

“So... Where did you run off to?” Fitzroy asks quietly. 

Argo is knocked out of his “trance” when he replies. “Hm? Oh well ya know, just some errands. Went to the library, dropped some books off. The usual.” 

“At 3 in the morning?” Fitzroy questions again.

“Yeah! Well. I guess the library is closed right now, isn’t it?” Argo states, slightly more to himself rather than the man next to him.

Fitzroy simply nods, his stomach tying itself into knots.

“To tell you the truth. I-. I can't tell you Fitz, I’m sorry.” Argo practically whispers the last bit.

Fitzroy’s heart practically bursts. It’s a lover, isn’t it? He knew he wasn’t for Argo. He knew it. He knew it. 

“Well” Fitzroy’s voice cracked. “I hope you had fun.”

This makes Argo look up at Fitzroy, seeing the tears welling up in his eyes. 

Fitzroy quickly wipes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Hm, goodnight, Argonaut.” He says, quickly standing up and walking to his quarters, closing the door gingerly.

Argo finally breaks, letting his tears fall. 

“God! Why’d I have to join this dumb club? I just ruined my fucking chances! We were so close.” He put his head on his hands. 

Sitting on the sofa and sobbing at 3 am wasn’t how Argo thought his Friday night would go. He especially didn’t think it would be over practically losing someone he cared for. 

———————————————————

Fitzroy woke up late that day, expecting everyone to be out and about. Instead he found Argo asleep on the couch and the firbolg sitting next to him on the floor, sketching some sort of tree. 

“Good morning.. bossss” the firbolg spoke without looking at Fitzroy, staying focused on his drawing. 

“Morning, Dr. Mushrooms”

“I.. heard you speaking wit.. Argo last night.” Bud added

“Oh! You did? I apologize we woke you.”

“Argonaut was wery... angry wit himself. After you.. left.” 

Fitzroy didn’t reply this time, he just internalized what Bud had said.

Argo started to stir with all the noise, blinking his eyes open and stretching. 

“Ermm good morning, Master firbolg.”

Argo sat up and looked around the room, seeing Fitzroy and staring at him for a moment before getting up and quickly walking over to the door, picking up his bag. 

“My! Would you look at the time! My blame taking class is about to start.” he stated, closing the door behind him.

Obviously it wasn’t, Argo just needed to get out of that situation. Fast.

“It is saturday... is it not?” the firbolg asked, confused.

“It is.” Fitzroy replied sadly. “God, I'm so scared I messed up. He probably hates me.”

The firbolg simply stares at him as Fitzroy walks to the door.

“I have to go, we’ll catch up later.” and with that, Fitzroy is gone.

———————————————————

Argo is seated at a lunch table with Raineer, talking about the night's happenings but making sure to leave out the bit about the Unbroken Chain.

“And- and I fucked it up! We were just getting close. He was just trusting me. God, what am I gonna do?  I ruined it. I fu-“ he was cut off by Raineer.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? You might not be able to tell him the whole truth but at least tell him your feelings.” She replied, taking another bite of her ramen. 

Argo kept rambling on. “I can't do that! He already hates my guts!” 

“That’s not true, I know it for a fact.” Raineer said in return.

“Either way, I can’t tell him. we’re- we’re colleagues!” Argo pauses.

His face saddens when he realizes what he said. They really are colleagues, nothing more.

“Thanks for the chat Raineer. I’m gonna go.” Argo got up from the table, tossed his orange away and left the dining hall.

———————————————————

Fitzroy is sifting through books at the library. He normally isn’t here, but it’s the only place without people on the weekend.

He spots a specific book, “Kathy Easom's Easy Cake Recipes”. Grabbing it off the shelf, he walks over to a quiet corner and starts flipping through. 

Fitzroy tried to read. He really did, but was unsuccessful overall. He couldn't stop thinking about Argo. He couldn't stop thinking about last night. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much he hurts. He closed his eyes, letting a tear fall. 

He sat for a moment, simply breathing.

Fitzroy got up after a few minutes. He's got a mission now. Fitzroy was going to find Argo and talk to him. Maybe tell him how he feels, maybe just fix whatever happened last night. Either way it should help.

Leaving the library, Fitzroy went back to the dorm. 

The half elf stayed there for a while, till about sundown, when he realized Argo probably wasn’t going to show up. 

Instead, Fitzroy headed to the fountain. Thinking back to a previous late night conversation with Argo. He remembered that Argo likes to go there when he’s stressed.

———————————————————

Fitzroy doesn’t find Argo at the fountain. However, he does find a bit of peace. 

He was the only student there and the sound of the water almost lulled him to sleep. If he wasn’t anxious he probably would’ve dozed off. 

Fitzroy sat at the fountain until the moon was high. The firbolg had stopped by earlier to check in, bringing him a water bottle, but he left soon after. 

Fitzroy wondered when he would go inside, if he would go inside. He simply sat alone with his thoughts and the sound of running water. 

The half-elf yawned, about to stand and head in for the night when he heard humming from the other side of the fountain. 

It was the fucking Thundermen theme song.

Whoever was humming had to be Argo. The three of them are the only ones who know the song in the first place, and it’s definitely not the firbolg. You would’ve been able to see him over the fountain.

Fitzroy froze, thinking of what to do. He could just leave, pretend he didn’t see the argo. That wouldn’t really fix anything, though. 

———————————————————

Argo was completely oblivious to the half-elf standing on the other side of the fountain. He stared into the water, watching it ripple as he dipped his hand in. He sighed. 

“What am I going to do? I ruined any chance I have with him.” Argo spoke out loud. After all, he thought he was alone.

Fitzroy heard this. Straightening out his cloak, he strutted around the fountain (trying to look very cool), towards Argo. 

“hEllo Argo. Fuck.” He whispered the last bit, not expecting his voice to break like that. clearing his throat he tried again.

“Hello. Argo.” He said, calmer this time.

Argo was already staring at him in shock. How much had Fitzroy heard? Had he followed him out here? Argo was in deep shit if he followed him.

“Boss!” Argo exclaimed.

Fitzroy winced.

“Erm. How long have you been here?” Argo questioned.

“Sunset. I’ve just been here, chilling.”

Fitzroy cursed himself for that. “Chilling”? What was he thinking?

“Oh! so you’ve been here quite a while, hm?” Argo chuckled nervously. “How- how much did you hear?”

Fitzroy was silent for a few seconds before replying. He went over and sat on the ledge of the fountain, next to his friend.

“All of it, Argo.”

“Oh. Well then. I guess the cats out of the bag then. Listen-“ his words quickened. “I'm sorry about last night. I just really can’t tell you where I go-“ talking a bit faster, “I just really care about you and I’m so sorry I hurt you. I hope I can fix this, I'm sor-“. 

Fitzroy placed his hand on the genasi’s leg, effectively silencing him. 

“I- I care about you too, Argo. And I also wanted to apologize. I overreacted last night.” Fitzroy spoke softly, trying to calm the man sitting next him.

Argo smiled weakly, looking into Fitzroy’s eyes. They were just as beautiful as the night before. 

Fitzroy was doing the same, looking into Argo’s eyes. They were an amazing green tonight. Fitzroy blushed. 

Argo raised his hand to Fitzroy’s cheek. The half elf leaned into his touch, closing his eyes and sighing. 

Now both of them were blushing. 

They leaned forwards, almost touching their foreheads together. Fitzroy cupped Argo's face as well, his eyes flicking from the other man's eyes to his lips and back. 

“May I?” Fitzroy asked.

Argo simply nodded, leaning forward and kissing Fitzroy. God, he had dreamed of this moment. 

The kiss was beautiful. It was soft and passionate and full of so much pent of love. It was perfect. 

When they came apart they both took a deep breath, smiling. 

Fitzroy’s hands were on Argo’s thighs now, resting there. Argo's hands were on fitzroys shoulders now. 

Their foreheads leaned against each other and Argo started laughing. Fitzroy quirked his eyebrow, questioning Argo’s “outburst”.

“I never thought I would get to do that!” he smiled.

Fitzroy just kissed him again, this time shorter but full of the same, if not more, love. 

That evening they returned to the dorm, hand in hand.

________________________________________________________________

#maplekeene #taz #tazg #tazgraduation #sir fitzroy maplecourt #taz fitzroy #fitzroy #argo #argonaut keene #the adventure zone #first fic #master firbolg #ship #raineer #im terrible at tags

[s-and-n-writes]

contingency plan 7c

scarred, broken, and mended: part two

summary:

She felt the weight of the ring on the string around her neck and could feel her scars.

No, she thought, not wanting to get lost in the memories, not now. I can do this later. So she plastered on a smile, tied an apron, and started frosting some cupcakes.

That night, she allowed herself to feel, and cried herself to sleep, plagued by nightmares of black leather and a feral grin.

pairing: jason todd x marinette dupain cheng, red hood x ladybug, red hood x multimouse

quick links:

< previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

| miraculous masterlist | series masterlist |

inspired by: 

scars, freckles and names, and gotham mouse, paris bug, both by @izzybellepenguin​

warnings:

trigger warnings, abuse, mentions of abuse, angst, evil! adrien

a/n:  i finally got it out! yay! sorry it's so late. i would have posted this earlier but n took forever to beta read it. this was completely unplanned and i wrote it while i should have been doing my homework but eh and i finished it during school and i can't even im so happy i actually did it. enjoy.

The next day, school proceeded as normal. Legs stuck out to trip her, her classmates whispered mean words everywhere she went, and people glared whenever Lila spewed some sob story. The only difference was that Marinette had to stay after school to talk to the art teacher, and he didn’t tolerate bullying. At all.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Lila and Alya walking out of school, so she knew it was safe.

After her school business was done, she walked home. At this time, the bakery shouldn’t have been too crowded. As she got closer, she saw some figures through the glass. It was...Lila and Alya? And her parents? What were they doing there? She was in front of the door and all she could make out were fragments of words, but nothing that would make sense. And sobbing. Loud sobbing. Marinette gingerly pushed the door open, wincing at the bell announcing her entrance. All four figures in the store turned to look at the newcomer.

Looking at the people, Marinette made out a few key things. One, Lila was crying. Two, her Maman looked pissed. Three, her Papa’s fists were clenched. And four, Alya wore an expression so deadly, it would make a grown man cry, thank god Marinette was used to that.

“Um...what’s going on?” Marinette asked, confused as to why Lila had come into her bakery.

“This girl here has been telling us some... interesting ...things,” her Maman replied, with a deadly undertone, “She’s been saying that you have been bullying her.”

Marinette was worried. The way her Maman had phrased her question, Marinette didn’t know if she believed her or not. Her parents would believe her, though. They wouldn’t believe the words of a random girl over their own daughter. Right?

“I-I didn’t Maman, I-” Just in case, Marinette started defending herself, but her Papa cut her off.

“Marinette,” he said furiously, yet calmly, “How dare you bully someone for a reason as small as jealousy. I thought I raised you better than that.”

Her heart broke. Her Maman and Papa, the two people who were supposed to care for her, no matter what , blamed her for something she didn’t even do. Marinette could feel the burning behind her eyes, and a few tears slipped out before she could stop them.

“B-but, I didn’t, I swear-” she was cut off yet again.

“Get out,” her Maman said. The bakery was silent and Marinette looked at her Maman, Sabine, wide-eyed, not believing this was happening, that she was being kicked out.

“You have 1 hour to pack your things and get the hell out of here ,” Sabine said sternly, and Marinette swore she could feel her heart shatter. She walked towards the stairs, and as she snuck a look behind her, there was a tiny smirk on Lila’s face. Barely noticeable, but definitely there.

Lila had won. Her friends and family were turned against her and she had nowhere to go. This wasn’t even reversible. Thankfully, Marinette had planned meticulously for every possibility, so even though her heart had told her not to, she had a plan for what to do in case of not having a home anymore. Granted, it was in case the bakery burned down or her parents died, but it was still applicable in this scenario.

Taking a breath, she began Contingency Plan 7C. Marinette quickly packed up her stuff, Tikki and Plagg looking at her in sadness. Throughout the entire ordeal, they had been at her side, comforting as best they could without being found out.

“You’re really leaving, Pigtails?” Plagg asked.

“I have to. Besides, it’s a perfect place to hide,” Marinette reassured the kwami, who was still a bit skeptical. Tikki knew better than to try and change Marinette’s mind in a situation like this.

25 minutes later, her time was almost up and everything that could be packed was packed, including the Miracle Box. She had taken out the Horse Miraculous and put them on, freeing Kaalki. Sadly, she had to leave her sewing machine and mannequin, but everything else fit neatly into her bags with the help of an extension spell she picked up in the Grimoire. It was the same kind of magic that made her yoyo able to hold anything. The rest vanished with another quick spell. Afterward, it looked like she had never lived there. It was crucial that nothing was left.

She had prepared a special program imbued with a bit of magic, and so with just a click of a button, everything about Marinette Dupain-Cheng, from public records to her school information, was erased. All necessary documents were forged (magic is useful) and she was now legally emancipated. She had already graduated early and money was accounted for. Her business as MAT had provided her with more than enough to live by herself, and she had already bought an apartment in her new city. She was going to live there after she moved out anyway, but this just sped up the process. Basically, everything was ready for her to move. Now all she had to do was leave.

Walking downstairs with a big bag was a bit of a pain, but it had to be done. Her parents would be suspicious if she just teleported since, to them, it would look like she just disappeared.

Marinette breezed by them without so much as a glance. Her peripheral told her Alya and Lila were gone. Ignoring them didn’t remove the hole in her heart, though, and she was reminded of Adrien, of someone who was supposed to help and support her and instead destroyed her.

With every step she took, the ring gently bounced against her chest, a permanent reminder of his betrayal and her subsequent injuries.

Speaking of Ladybug, Marinette had already prepared for that. Hawkmoth had been defeated, Chat Noir had been permanently removed, Master Fu had named her as Guardian, and there was no need for Ladybug anymore. She was free to leave, so a part of that program included a video uploaded to the new (accurate and credible) Ladybug website: BugOut.com. The video told Paris she was stopping being Ladybug for good, but if absolutely necessary, she would come back. Chat Noir was never coming back, though.

“Goodbye Sabine, Tom. I would say it was a pleasure, but it really wasn’t,” Marinette said her final words before exiting the bakery, the chiming of a bell marking the end of the life of one Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Right now, she was nobody, but as soon as she got to her new home, she would take her new identity: Marie Gina Lenoir, Gothamite.

quick links: < previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

a/n: so comment if you enjoyed or even if you didn't. i love to interact with you guys. ask questions if you want and I'll answer them as long as it's not too personal. read my other fics (and if you have time i guess you can read n's too). i have two other fics i'm working on at the moment and both are mcu (one is an mlb crossover) so look out for those. <3

tagging: 

here’s the taglist again! if you are currently part of the taglist and don’t want to be part of the taglist, sorry about that! shoot us message and we’ll remove your tag, no offense taken. if you want to be part of the taglist, send us an ask/message and we’ll add your name! 

@charme-de-malchan​ @aveline-rose​ @bookblokeanoid​ 

#ml #mlb #mlb fanfic #miraculous batman #miraculous #batman #maribat #marinette dupain cheng #jason todd #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #lila rossi #jasonett #tom dupain #sabine cheng

[justauthoring]

I Don’t Wanna Die Alone [Xavier Plympton]

Request(s): I would like to request a Xavier Plympton x reader kind of angsty. So for plot I would like of Xavier and the reader had a pre-established relationship and it's a healthy relationship. They get along well and genuinely love one another. I would like the reader to get killed or seriously hurt and for Xavier to find them. Xavier desperately trying to help but knowing there is nothing he can do. If the reader is just hurt maybe he can lay with them as they hear jingles walking towards them. Thanks!

can you do one with xavier where the reader hits her head badly trying to run and dies in xavier’s arms at camp redwood. idk if you’ve watched teen wolf or not but maybe like vibes from the scene where allison died. ???

Hi hello I would like to request an Xavier/Reader fic where Xavier witnesses reader’s death, and how that affects him when interacting with reader in the camp as ghosts. Relationship is your choice but my vote is on romantic :)

Requested by: @redama

Pairing: Xavier Plympton x Reader

Word Count: 1,974

Notes: ya’ll, as much as i will always love evan, seeing an edit of this dude is what made me wanna watch ahs in the first place and i feel so fucking satisfied to finally be able to write for him lol. i literally just finished 1984 and i cannot help but write right now even tho im sick and have work early in the morning. so appreciate my dedication here :)

Please don’t plagiarize my work!

It felt like your lungs were on fire. Your body was screaming at you to stop, but your mind kept reminding you of why you couldn’t -- because if you did, he’d find you and kill you.

You just had to have a shower; you couldn’t just listen to Margaret and wait until the morning. Or at least, accept Xavier’s offer to join you. That way you wouldn’t be alone right now, running from a crazed murderer. And Jesus, you barely had time to even get dressed. Your hair was a soaking wet mop on top of your head and all you had on was your shorts and bra; the fucking asshole didn’t even give you time to put on your shoes.

All you wanted was Xavier. Part of you, maybe you were going crazy, would be satisfied dying if it meant getting to die with Xavier. Not alone. If you were going to die, which it really felt like you were going to you, you didn’t want to do it alone. 

You’d tried screaming, louder then you ever had before. Your throat was raw but it seemed no one could hear you; which sucked ass. You hadn’t thought you were that far from the cabins, but apparently you were farther then you thought because there was no one coming to save you. Absolutely no one. All you could count on was your years of track in High School and pray that got you far enough that you could at least find someone.

Or out run Mr. Jingles. That’d be great to. Find a place to hide, something.

Taking a sharp turn to the right, you hiss lightly at your arm scraping against a branch. It stings and you allow yourself a moment to glance down at the now bleeding scratch on your arm before pushing it to the back of your mind, focusing your attention on your steps and where to take them. The entire forest felt like a damned maze and you were clearly lost without any knowledge on how to get to either the road or back to Camp Redwood.

You were starting to feel like you were going crazy. Insane. Something of the like. Your heart was beating a mile per minute and your skin was clammy with sweat and you just wanted to sleep. You wanted to be in Xavier’s arms, laying comfortably against his chest while he held you close. 

A sudden scream pulls you from your thoughts. It causes you to halt, coming to a sudden and sharp stop as you turn your head sharply over your shoulder. You expect to hear footsteps, another screaming, something but for a moment, it’s just silence. Complete and utter silence. All you can hear is your own rapid breath and the sound of the adrenaline pumping in your veins from the absolute terror running through your entire body.

And then, it’s just faint, you hear your name. Someone’s calling out for you.

“Y/N! Y/N! Where are you! Are you okay?”

That’s... That’s Xavier!

Eyes widening with hope, you feel your lips twitching into just the faintest of smiles, thinking that if anyone will be able to save you, it’ll be him. You move to turn, your lips parting to call out for Xavier in return. However, you don’t hear the approaching footsteps or notice the figure that falls to your left. You don’t, at least, until there’s a sharp pain in your left shoulder. Your lips part, a gasp falling past your lips as you start up into the face of none other then Mr. Jingles.

He rips the knife out of your shoulder, and you stumble back in response, your hand shakily raising to fall over the wound. You glance down briefly, watching the blood pool your skin, before turning back to Mr. Jingles.

“Please...” You breathe shakily, “don’t--!”

You never get to finish your stomach before he stabs you again; this time directly in your stomach. Your knees grow weak beneath you and as he mercilessly pulls the knife from you once more, you no longer have the strength to hold yourself up. You hit the ground with a thud, a whimper leaving your lips as your vision blurs. 

Mr. Jingles crawls over you, knees on either side of you as he easily pushes your head to the side, revealing your ear to him. With a almost mocking gentleness he brushes your hair back, taking the top of your ear and slicing it right off. Somehow you have the strength to scream; it piercing the silence of the forest as Mr. Jingles simply stands up, with his price, and stalks off.

He just leaves you there.

It feels like hours, but can’t be more than a few moments, you just graveling on the ground, before another figure falls next to you. You assume it to be Mr. Jingles, coming to finish the job quicker then he’d originally intended and you don’t have the strength to fight or scream or even really cry. But then warm arms are pulling you into a lap and you blink, glancing up to meet Xavier’s piercing blue eyes staring back down at you.

Except, his eyes are flooded with welling tears as he gets a good look at you.

“X-Xavier...”

“Y/N... Oh, God... Oh, God, Y/N--!”

Shaking your head, your lips part to speak, but you find yourself choking on your own blood, it pooling around your mouth. Your body jerks in response, Xavier desperately attempting to apply pressure to your wounds but you know it’s useless.

You raise your hand, settling it over his own with a shaky determination. Your action pulls his eyes on you and with your eyes glossing over, you smile up at him. “I... I love you...”

Your body falls limp in his hands then.

“Y/N... Y/N, Y/N, wake up!” Xavier finds the words pouring from his lips, unable to think rationally as he desperately tries to shake you back awake. But, of course, nothing words. And eventually, he ends up just pulling you close, curling you up against him as a sob breaks past his lips.

Montana finds him moments later.

“Xavier, we have-- oh, shit, Y/N! No, no, no!”

Finally pulling his gaze up, Xavier meets Montana’s gaze through a blurred vision. “I was too late,” he whispers, voice a raspy imitation of how he normally sounds. “He got to her before I... I couldn’t save her...”

Montana’s lips part to say something, but she finds herself speechless. Her heart wrenches at the thought of you dead, given that the two of you had always been close, and she’s never quite seen Xavier so... helpless. She wants to say something to comfort him, but doesn’t know what. And seeing you, lifeless in his arms, hurts her just as much.

However, before she can dwell on it much longer, the sound of keys jingling echoes.

“Oh, fuck!” Montana curses, pushing herself up to her feet desperately and latching onto Xavier’s arm. “Come on, Xav. We got to go. We got to go!”

“No, no!” Xavier cries, holding onto your body tighter. “I’m not leaving her here.”

“We have to go!”

“I’m not leaving her here!”

“Look at me, look at me!” Grabbing Xavier tightly by the cheeks, Montana pulls his gaze sharply on her own. “Y/N wouldn’t want you to die like this, okay? She’d want you to live! She’d want you to survive. We both know it!” Breathless, Xavier stays silent, unable to argue with Montana. “So, we have to go!”

One glance down at you and Xavier knows she’s right.

Shakily, he eases his grip on you, setting you gently back on the ground and moving to stand up. However, before he does, he slips his jacket off, placing it over you as to cover you the best he can. “Okay,” he whispers, voice broken. “Let’s go.”

-

“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually.”

Xavier stays silent, back turned to you as he stares out blankly in front of him.

Sighing, you shake your head, daring to take another step forward. “We are stuck here for eternity, Xav.” You remind softly, continuing to walk forward more and more. You don’t stop until you’re directly behind Xavier, making sure he can’t run off like he has all times before. You’re desperate for him to finally face you. “You can’t just ignore me.”

“Why do you even want to talk to me in the first place?”

Jerking your head back in surprise -- at both the fact that this is the first time Xavier’s spoke to you since you’d woken up from death and his actual words -- you blink at the back of Xavier’s head. However, soon enough he’s spinning to face you, his eyes finally meeting your own as he shakes his head at you. You find yourself also surprised at the tears in his eyes.

Gathering yourself, you shake your head; “what’re you talking about?”

“You died!” He calls out, causing you to furrow your brows. Huffing, he clarifies himself; “you died because of me.”

Lips parting, you move to respond, but find yourself unable to. Is that what he thinks? That he killed you? He must’ve lost his damn mind because you know for a fact that it was Mr. Jingles who killed you. The fact that he actually blames himself... you feel your heart twist uncomfortably, shaking your head desperately as you reach out for Xavier. He only steps back from your touch causing your arms to fall by your side helplessly.

“Is that what you think?” You whisper, never tearing your gaze off his own. “Xav, you didn’t kill me... Mr. Jingles did.”

“I let you go off on your own! I... wasn’t quick enough!” Inhaling sharply, Xavier wipes at his cheeks desperately, trying to hide the tears that profusely fall down his cheeks. Then, he gathers himself enough to utter one last sentence, a broken whisper. “I didn’t protect you.”

You step forward, reaching out for Xavier. This time he doesn’t pull away, shoulders slumping as your hands move to cup his cheeks, shaking your head repeatedly. “You did protect me,” you whisper, “you always did. And I didn’t die because of you. I died because of some pathetic man. I ran off to have a shower, I didn’t let you come with me... So, please,” letting your thumb stroke his cheek softly, you smile up at him. “Just... kiss me.”

Xavier’s resolve slowly falls with each word. By the end of it, his tears have halted and he finds himself stunned by your forgiveness. He finds his hands reaching out for you, desperate for your touch as his hands fall on your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“You want me to kiss you?”

“I’ve never wanted you to kiss me more than I have now.”

A smirk crawls onto his lips and slowly but surely, Xavier leans down, pressing his lips against your own. The kiss is short, chaste, but it means everything to you. Able to hold Xavier like this again means everything to you. Your arch into his touch, your hand sliding up the back of his neck as you moan into the kiss, Xavier returning it with just as much ferocity.

It’s been so long since you’ve been able to kiss him like this.

Pulling back, Xavier leans his forehead against your own, breathless. “I’ve missed you...”

“Well,” you smile lightly, leaning back to meet his gaze. “Like I said, we have all of eternity here... You’ll never have to miss me again.”

Xavier’s faint smile turns into a grin.

“I like the sound of that.”

-

Let me know what you thought?

#American Horror Story #American Horror Story imagine #AHS #AHS imagine #AHS 1984 #AHS 1984 imagine #American Horror Story 1984 #1984 #Xavier #Xavier Plympton #Xavier Plympton imagine #Xavier Plympton x reader #Xavier imagine #Xavier x reader #Cody Fern #Cody Fern imagine #Cody Fern x reader #imagine #imagines #my fics

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated

#oh my god the next one might be the last??? we'll see #what a ride for real #tgcf liveblog #ty to everyone who comments or reads even a bit of these i appreciate you #mouse mumbles

[alchemist-shizun]

About that Carry On Prinxiety AU

For now I laid out a bit of the plot, if you want to share some ideas just hit me up~

This is going to be a LOT to take on my shoulders but I will try and probably fail BUT TRYING IS KEYWORD (i really do believe in myself don't I? Everything under the cut!)

Since they all have their peculiarities, I'm gonna say that yes Virgil might be the Baz and Roman could be the Simon of this story, but I think either would fit for different reasons so they just have the same energy and will keep their own characterization. (If I'm able to not go ooc on this one wish me luck)

If I'm creative enough I'll try making an American school that is located in Florida, so that the characters know nothing much about what's happening in Watford and I can still make references without chronological contradictions.

Thomas could probably be the head mage too. I'm imagining him being very interested in the Normal culture and dressing like a Normal adult instead of the head of a great magical school, his "obsession" (kind of like Arthur Weasley's, if you will) is not really well-liked by most of the mages (especially the Old Fams), some believe that the students should have a better example instead of a man that always seems on the verge of leaving the magic world behind. The students, on the other hand, love him very much thank you. (yes even the ones whose parents insult him)

Oh my god I just had an epiphany: imagine Thomas obviously being in love with Disney and maybe Roman is very close to him so like he's talking about Virgil and Thomas just STRAIGHT UP STARTS SINGING SMTH LIKE THE MUSES' PARTS IN WON'T SAY IM IN LOVE OR LIKE THAT LION KING ONE AAAAAAAA and Roman is like ssss t o p but in the end joins in because he's w e a k (same)

Anyway for the main bois what I was thinking was that, with the prophecies about the Chosen One being there for a long time and them not knowing about Simon or anything, (this is becoming like Skam, there are many Snowbaz in the world) they just so happen to find in Roman an extraordinary amount of magic

Everybody is convinced Roman might be the Greatest Mage, the info flies out into the magical world of America but they decide to not share the info with other states. Roman gets very excited about this and works hard and trains himself in preparation for the big moment where he was going to have his big fight.

Virgil is his roommate (oh my god they were roommates), and of course, they can't stand each other at all. Virgil is definitely fed up with this story about the Chosen One, which Roman brings out in any possible conversation, so he uses it against him to tease him. Just imagine Roman bragging about something and Virgil being like "yeah but for a Greatest Mage you still haven't done anything so Great", or like Roman is having trouble with a spell or a subject? "Aren't you the chosen one?", Virgil only brings it up to make him mad and loves his flustered face. (keyword "loves" *wink*)

As much as I'm hopelessly in love with the idea of Vamp!Virgil (which would fit if he had Baz's role), I just had an angsty idea so I'm saving it for later c:

Hey how about a half-elf Virgil??? Anyone? Sorry I love elves

As for the time they spend together, they do the same thing as Simon and Baz, they avoid each other, spend time out of their room if the other's in there, make up different routines so they don't have to share anything and only really stay in the same room if they have to sleep. (idk why i said "if" like they don't need sleep)

Let me remind you that the beds are very close.

One time Roman woke up in the middle of the night and screamed in fear upon seeing a figure on the window.

It was just Virgil and he almost fell out, he would have probably smacked his head if it wasn't for the roommates' anathema or whatever it is called in english.

Virgil said he just couldn't sleep but he will never admit it was because of a pretty violent nightmare.

Roman does really think that he doesn't sleep at all and just uses his magic to stay awake judging by the dark circles under his eyes.

idk about you but I like the idea of Logan being something similar to Penelope, so Logan is Roman's best friend, they had met in the first year and Logan seemed one of the only ones who didn't approach Roman only because of his fame about being the Chosen One. Logan is simply amazing and brilliant at all subjects and surprises everyone since he's said to come from a family with weak powers.

Roman finds in him a very valid studying companion and he has to admit a lot of his best spells come from practicing/learning them from Logan. Also Logan loves explaining the stuff he's learnt, while Roman has this insatiable will to know everything to be able to defeat whatever bad guy will present in front of him. They basically become inseparable, despite having some friendly fights that are always solved with a snack break.

They !! deeply !! care !! for !! each other !!

Out of the other characters idk if Patton would fit anybody entirely, but I'm going to keep the 3v3 groups, so Pat will most likely be hanging out with Roman and Logan, he's actually very good friends with Virgil (none can escape Patton's friendliness) and tries to reason with Roman when he's mad about something Virge might have said. He's probably the reason why he hasn't killed Virgil yet. Patton doesn't come from a big family and lives with his grandmother when he's out of school. (I still have to develop this)

Forget about Dev and Niall and get ready for Deceit and Remus. I don't wanna give a headcanon name to Deceit bc I don't have one so he's gonna be a mysterious boy and everyone will call him Dee since it's the nickname I use for him. Both of them are two chaotic messes in their own ways. Dee, despite still being composed most of the times, is VERY fixated on his society discourses and arguments, he could come up to you one day out of the blue being like "so about the plan to overthrow the government" and you probably never even heard of it in the first place

JUST GIVE ME PASSIONATE DECEIT

Remus, on the other hand, messes a LOT with spells and you can see him traveling to the weirdest places. One day he was found trying to make the water creatures do a circus bit for him. People don't know how he's able to make his way through tests, but it's actually because he loves bugging Dee since he doesn't give the slightest shit about the weird things he suggests and they often end up studying together.

(I had the wildest thought thinking about Remus as Trixie)

Virgil, Deceit and Remus are what people call the "Untouchable trio", only because they come from the highest and oldest of the Old Families. They had been friends ever since kids since their Families met quite often, they never really fell apart despite being very different from one another. They're actually pretty chill people, it is only their surnames that make some people wary of them. They're not generally approached by anyone.

Idk if I wanna bring Emile and Remy in this, but I am tempted™, I'll think about it

So, Roman, am I right? Forgot to say he comes from a pretty big fam of hunters, they're the types of people that are lovable but won't hesitate to kill a bitch if needed.

But Purp, where's our creativitwins content? Thing is, yes they're actually brothers, but they were separated ever since kids for reasons none really knows? They never talk about it, even if asked to. They were given to two different families. They're aware of each other, but none has ever seen them interact. (I might find some angsty backstory on this just you wait)

Up until here Roman has always believed himself to be destined to the greater good, he's the chosen one, his destiny is the one to be the protagonist of the magic world and its hero.

At least that's what he thought until the fifth year.

One day during the fifth year, Virgil was doing homework on his room's table when Roman bursts in, louder than usual, and throws himself face-first on the bed, uncaring about ruining his hair or his clothes. That was an unusual sight since he never came into the room before evening or even before dinner. Virgil immediately knew something was wrong, but he didn't realize how serious the thing was.

So of course, he teases him a bit trying to get some info from him but only makes the situation worse. When Virgil calls him Greatest Mage as a joke, that's when Roman finally snaps at him in a way that Virge would have never expected. Roman really is enraged, yells at him and throws his pillow across the room since he can't hit him. He storms out of the room when he feels tears forming in his eyes, but can't really hide his sobbing as he goes away.

Virgil is just standing there, aware that he had just made Roman cry for the first time in his life and hated the sight with his whole being.

Roman had just learnt that he wasn't, in fact, the Chosen One, nor the Greatest Mage. Just an ordinary mage, like anybody else, who, in his opinion, had no other destiny than to finish school, find a job and just ... live?

So he's destroyed, all those dreams revealed themselves to be castles built in the air.

School is ending and Roman is just a bit numb, he's not really failing his classes but he's not as bright as ever. He barely leaves his room and doesn't talk to his friends as often, who are very concerned. Even Virgil tries to talk to him at some point. Thomas visits him when he has time and tries to work through the issue with him, but for the rest of the fifth year, there's nothing much to do to cheer him up.

Things seem to go back to normal as years pass and he's not in the spotlight anymore, none really talks about the Greatest Mage anymore and mages just carry on with their studies as they've always done. Everything's fine and normal.

And Roman hates it. But he's working in the shadow, so none notices his discomfort.

It only happens when he reaches the eighth year. It's impossible for Virgil to not recognize that Roman is slipping away at night and only comes back after some hours, either with dirty clothes or things tangled in his hair, he always came back different from when he left, meaning he definitely was wandering off outside.

One night he really can't stop thinking about how worried he is that Roman might get in trouble by himself, while he could probably prevent that, so he decides to follow him. Apparently, Roman is trying to find some kind of important and scary adventure to prove to himself that he's not as useless as he thinks himself to be, but Virgil still doesn't know this.

Virgil doesn't know what to do about the situation and decides to talk to Patton about it, in the end, the two of them decide to make a plan to talk to Roman with Logan, too.

On the other hand, Roman had been seen hanging out with Deceit or Remus, or both at the same time, trying to pry out information from them about how to get to certain forbidden spots of the school if he ever needed to. Surprisingly they don't ask many questions.

Chaos ensues when one night everything goes horribly wrong.

SO YEAH these are a bunch of things that I got right off the bat, I still have to think about the entire plot but don't want to spoil anything, basically the story would begin on the eighth year, just like Carry On, when Roman starts sneaking out. There might be things I need to fix but still I repeat that this is just a draft or a bunch of ideas that I got together somehow.

Tags: @soul-of-a-vixen & @flowersheep who wanted to know more about it~ (I'll write it as soon as I can!!)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #deceit sanders #prinxiety #sanders sides fanfiction #prinxiety fic #sanders sides au #carry on #snowbaz #penny bunce #agatha wellbelove #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #basilton pitch #character thomas #deceit mention #remus the duke #ts duke #ts patton #ts roman #ts deceit #ts logan #ts virgil #prinxiety au #carry on au

[natashaashleymarvelromanoff]

I'm So Glad You’re Back - Chapter 6

chapter 1  chapter 2  chapter 3  chapter 4  chapter 5  chapter 7  Chapter 8  chapter 9  chapter 10  chapter 11  Chapter 12  chapter 13  chapter 14  chapter 15  Epilogue

Asgard 2013

It hadn't been long since the racoon and god landed in Asgard. After deactivating their bracelets and their suits retracting the two carefully navigated their way through the castle. 

Rocket didn't fail to notice the glee on Thor's face at being in Asgard. He couldn't help but remember when he and his family found the ‘pirate angel’ as Drax had put it. Thor was the only survivor they found among the wreckage of his ship. And a survivor of the handful of Asgardians that were left. Rocket felt guilty all of a sudden seeing Thor's face marvelling at the little details of the palace. He didn't reach out or talk to Thor as much as he should have. Thor had been in a dark place and he should have done something. Even if it was just a call to him.

…

As he stayed in the shadows on the golden walls, thor smiled as he made way to the room jane had been staying in when she was here. All the memories he had made here, him and Loki running around the halls. Their father scolding them for damaging priceless items. Their mother giving them cuddles and kisses. It was almost heartbreaking to be here again. But at the same time, he felt right at home. 

As Thor and Rocket rounded the corner of the hallway. They stopped at a room with two huge golded decorated doors that had voices coming from the inside. Janes room. The blonde thought.

“This it? Okay, you distract her and ill get the stone out.”

"I don't think I can do this” 

"What?! What do you mean?

Thor's breath suddenly started to get shorter, in little gasps. He was panicking. Rocket realised it must have been too much for him to handle being back here. Jumping up onto the ledge close to thors height, rocket faced thor and tried to calm him down. But Thor was just getting more anxious, the god was turning into himself, hunching his back over as his legs fell out underneath him bringing his knees to the floor, rocket noticed Thor was trying to squeeze himself tighter to comfort himself. It wasn't until a voice coming from the end of the hallway spoke that thors breath caught in his throat. 

Trying to remain as quiet as he could, rocket jumped higher up the walls finding somewhere to hide so he wouldn't be spotted by whoever was coming closer. He knew Thor would be okay if someone saw him. He was the future king to his people, they wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Rocket watched as Thor, rose from the floor and Adjusted his posture to his regular height, but as the two started to interact, Rocket couldn't help but feel he was intruding. Deciding to leave the two, Rocket made his way into the room with the golden doors and proceeded on their mission to take the stone.

After returning to standing thors eyes started to widen as the voice that had broken him out of trance got closer. 

As she walked around the corner with her handmaidens, queen Frigga told them to go on without her as she needed to check on jane. They graciously did as the queen said, taking off down another corridor.

But as Thor's mother made her way to janes door, she stopped. Feeling the presence behind her. Turning around Frigga laid eyes on her son, but something was different. He looked different from the last time she had spoken to him, and that was only a short time ago. But it wasn't the difference in appearance that had confused her. It was the look of pure joy and emotion of her son's face. 

"Mother?” thors voiced broke as he uttered a word he hadn't used in years.

…..

“Thor, What are you doing? You’re better off leaving the sneaking to your brother.“ her face was covered in a light heated fondness for her son. 

Trying to act as casual as he could, Thor curled in on himself as if trying to make himself seem smaller.

"now see I was just going for a walk…"

"What are you wearing?" her eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looked at him. Something was wrong. 

"Oh, this? i always wear this. it's one of my favourite sweat-"

"your eye. what have you done to it?" 

the mother of the god knew something was wrong. She knew it instantly. She was his mother. She had birthed him and raised him. This was her son, but it wasn't her son that she had seen just a few hours earlier.

“You're not the thor I have just spoken to hours ago are you?” she questioned the man. But she had no malice or ill intent on her face. The man in front of her, her son was clearly distressed, and she didn't want to upset him. 

“ what? No no no, of course, I am, which other thor would I possibly be?" Recovering from his little panic attack, thor gaped at his mother as she questioned who he was. And failing miserably at trying to convince her he was still the same thor, shook his head vigorously and shuffled on his feet, avoiding her eyes.

Watching the strange actions her son was making the queen walked up closer to him and rested her hand on his cheek. Stopping him instantly from moving and talking. Instead, he sunk his cheek further into her hand, he hadn't felt the touch of his mother in years. Once he did, it confirmed her suspicions

“Thor you are my son, I would know instantly if something was wrong. You've seen loss and guilt. All this from your future. Well, I suppose it would be your past wouldn't it?"

Thor could only nod his head at her. 

“You're from the future. But tell me. Why are you here?” the blonde man sighed at her statement, of course, she would know.

“Something happened, a few years ago. But before it did, I had the chance to stop it and I made the wrong decision. It cost us half the universe. But a few days ago we were given another chance to fix things. That's why Im here. I need the Reality stone. I'll bring it back of course.”

Oh, my sweetheart. Frigga pulled thor into her arms, hugging him just like she used to when he was younger. And he gladly accepted.

“I can't imagine what you must have felt, the guilt you must still feel. But thor, you must remember that just because you made a different decision, does not make what happened your fault, my son”

“You really think that?”

“Of course I do. Your heart means nothing but kindness. But I'm afraid I won't be able to help you in retrieving the stone from Jane”

The mans face dropped. She wasn't going to help?

“Why not?”

“Because whilst we were talking, your little rabbit friend has already taken the liberty of collecting it.” she smirked at him. Thor's eyebrows knitted together at her words. It wasn't until rocket ran over to them with the vile that held it, that thor realised what his mother had said. 

….

Rocket decided that he had made a good decision leaving Thor and his mother alone. The dude had lost her years ago and was seeing her again for the first time in ages. He didn't want to intrude on that. 

Climbing his way higher up the walls of the bedroom doors, he pushed with all his strength to open them slightly to give a little leeway to let him in. thankfully neither Thor or his mother or Jane noticed the door moving.

All he needed was jane to turn her back so he could leap down and stab her. Well, not stab, but inject her so he could get the stone. 

Staying up high and crawling across the walls so Jane wouldn't notice him, he saw an opportunity.

….

“Rocket! Did you get the stone already? Thor was surprised that his little friend had already retrieved the stone. How long was he talking with his mother?

Shrugging it of fas no big deal in front of the extremely pretty lady and thor, rocket replied.

“Yeah, I didn't wanna get in the way of you two so I thought id make our trip easier.”

“So your thor's friend? Its an always an honour to meet my son's friends.” the regal woman, tilted her head downwards to greet Thor's friend.

“Woah hahaha! An honour? To meet me? Well if you say so your highness” rocket grinned. God wait till they got everybody back and he told quill about this. 

Smiling at the animal's enthusiasm, Frigga turned back to her son and took his hands in hers.

I suppose this means this is the last time I shall see you, my son. The older you of course. I love you so much thor.” queen Frigga leaned forward on her tiptoes and kissed her son on his forehead. 

Thor couldn't help but let out a small sob as she did. She had no idea this would be the last time she saw the younger or older version of him. Soaking the feeling of his mother, thor lingered as she pulled away. Lifting her hand upwards to his face, she curled a finger under his chin, making him look up at her.

“You will always be a hero Thor, everybody fails at who they are supposed to be, but what matters is you are still the same person you always have been. Now you better hurry and get back.”

Nodding at his mother, Thor pulled away and turned before he stopped.

“Hold on, let me just try.”

Sticking his arm out, thor scrunched his face in anticipation whilst rocket stared at Thor in confusion. Noticing the curious look on rockets face, the queen explained.

“It can sometimes take a minute” 

All of a sudden, an object travelling at the speed of a bullet flew its self in through the window and into Thor's hand. 

Mjolnir.

Suddenly Thor's eyes lit up, his mouth making the biggest grin rocket had seen. The god let out a lough laugh as he stared at the hammer in his hand.

“I'm still worthy?!” 

“Of course you are sweetheart, you always will be.” leaving with his mother's words still in his head, he and rocket made their way back through the palace to find a safe spot to jump from. It wasn't until they approached a certain door, the god realised they would need to go through the dungeons. 

Then he remembered. There was someone in the dungeons that he hadn't seen in a long time also. Loki.

……

“Hello brother”

Letting out a huff of annoyance, Loki rolled his eyes and turned his head to the sound of his brother's voice. 

“And what gives me the pleasure of having you visit me 2 times today brother?” Loki's usual sarcasm poured out. Thor didn't think he could possibly miss Loki's snide remarks towards him, but hearing it come out of his mouth confirmed it.

“No reason, but I suppose its to say goodbye.” his older brother called out

Furrowing his brow, Loki sat up from his bed in the white room and cocked his head at his brother's words. But as he focused properly on his sibling, he noticed there was something different about him. He looked smaller as if he had lost some of his muscle. And his hair wasn't as attentively combed as he normally had it. Something was up.

“You see I'm from the future, time travel and all that. I just wanted to tell you that I love you brother. No matter what. And also, no one is ever going to believe you when you tell them.”

Taken aback Loki thought Thor was lying until a creature of some sort came into view.

“Thor we need to go now! The guards are coming.” the little animal shouted to thor.

The raven-haired man observed as his brother and the animal pushed a device on the back of their hands. Suddenly they were covered with a suit that looked like scales as it travelled up their bodies. 

“Goodbye brother” Thor gave Loki a cheeky smile and then they jumped.

Watching in disbelief as Thor and the animal disappeared right in front of him, Loki ran further up to the window only to see there was nothing there.

“What in Valhalla's name just happened?”

#im so glad you're back #endgame #endgame fanfic #avengers #avengers endgame #thor odinson #rocket racoon #the guardians #fix it fic #romanogers #frigga #jane foster #asgard #natasha romanoff #Steve Rogers #tony stark #bruce banner #clint barton