#i have made so many mistakes but such is learning

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: A Honorable Mention For War of Y, and Another Look at How Thai BL Talks About BL (With a Bonus Watch of BL: Broken Fantasy)

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I take a look at the more recent attempts by the Thai BL industry to critique itself with War of Y and the mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy.]

2022's War of Y. Let me start this piece off by saying that this show is not good. My friend and BL elder educator, @bengiyo, once said about the OGMMTVC project, that some people (LIKE ME :'( ) just have to look into the abyss to satiate their curiosity about how this genre has developed, and that's definitely a point of the OGMMTVC. Not all past Thai BL shows are good, not by a long shot, and I don't recommend War of Y if you're watching dramas for pleasurable experiences only. (If you want to watch a GREAT drama that critiques the Thai BL industry, start with 2021's Lovely Writer, and I'll get more into this later.)

War of Y, directed by the chaotic Cheewin Thanamin and the I-am-assuming-to-be-misanthropic-and-indulgently-self-righteous-and-preening Den Panuwat, gave us 20 episodes of what I believe they thought to be groundbreaking critical art about the currently Thai BL industry. Let me set up an outline so that I don't spend too long on the bad stuff, and explain why War of Y does at least get an important mention (but not an official inclusion) on the OGMMTVC list.

1) What was War of Y about, how it was structured, and some quick high points, 2) Comparing War of Y to other pieces of Thai BL fiction that did a better job of critiquing Thai BL culture, and 3) A close-out reflection of Aam Anusorn's 2020 mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy.

War of Y, as presented by Cheewin and Den, is designed to be a meta-drama of four chapters, all examining a specific aspect of the Thai BL industry. The first chapter, led by Billy Patchanon and Seng Wichai, focuses on two ship partnerships competing with each other, to the mental detriment of one of the older ship's celebrities; the second chapter focuses on two HORRIBLE warring managers; the third chapter showcases, in excruciating detail, god help us, a Y idol reality show, replete with singing; and the final chapter depicts the creation of a BL series and the rise of another super celebrity, whose career potentially gets derailed by his relationship with a female acting colleague.

Before I get into the few high points, I just want to say that this bloated structure (four chapters of five episodes each) did not do this drama well. It could have been edited down GREATLY for more succinct messaging. The other major issue I had is that the Thai BL genre -- as a romance genre itself, that demands romantic and coupled endings -- is just not the right genre to meta-critique the industry from which the piece of art comes from, not unless you're the screenwriter of Lovely Writer, who deftly managed some very complicated storylines into true art. There was no deft to War of Y. Couples got together in pandering and condescending ways, because that's how a Thai BL should end, right (?!); HORRENDOUS warring enemies suddenly made up with barely any context except to make money, and so on. I kept saying to friends during my watch that in a Den Panuwat show -- the worse you are as a character, the more likely you are to be redeemed for seemingly no good reason.

[Exhibits B and C in Den Panuwat's screenwriting record of questionable human characteristics? Fucking Only Friends and Playboyy. THE WORSE THOSE CHARACTERS WERE, THE BETTER THEIR OUTCOMES. Yeah, we really wanted those assholes to end well. ANYWAY. (I am committing to never watching a Den Panuwat show again. ANYWAY.)]

But there were a few high points. Actually seeing a Y idol reality show, something that international fans may not be able to appreciate with a lack of subtitles, was at least eye-opening for the inter-related nature of these kinds of shows, with some performers subsequently getting series gigs. (I understand that Santa Pongsapak, of My Own 12%, is an example of this kind of performer, who started out first as a music idol trainee.)

And the acting. Some of the acting was EASILY the best part of War of Y, as it very often happens in questionable Thai dramas: Billy (BILLYYYYYYYY), First Piyangkul, Dome Waruwat (who we most recently saw in Cooking Crush, and who absolutely SLAYED as one of the SLIMIEST, GROSSEST characters EVER, ohmygod), and

SENG MOTHERFUCKING WICHAI

(who will win one of the crowns as one of THE BEST FUCKING ACTORS IN THAI BL at the conclusion of the OGMMTVC project)

were easily the best reasons to watch War of Y. The range of Seng Wichai. It's ironic that he left Idol Factory last year, ending the BillySeng ship, and was then disgracefully treated like utter crap by the media and BL fans for the reveal of his relationship with Freen Sarocha. That, in itself, could make for a heartbreaking drama about the BL industry, but alas. We have War of Y instead. Seng is a motherfucking hero, and is also the KING of cringe, playing a horribly behaved actor who learns to overcome his insecurities to stand up against the advantages taken unto him by greedy managers.

We also had MANY wild and crazy cameos from real BL professionals in the show. @twig-tea and I agree that director New Siwaj's cameo was BAFFLING. He played a BL director (which he actually is) who maybe hated making BLs? (Maybe he actually hates it?) But still does it? And was mostly checked out of making the BL-show-within-the-BL-show, until he was called out about it, and then behaved like a good boy. Like. That cameo, along with a literally-evil NetJames and an even more inexplicable and weird literally-evil MaxNat cameo (wtf, that wasn't filled out AT ALL), were the really weird ones. The sad ones were ones like sweet NuNew Chawarin telling young BL guys that they have to sing (NO THEY DON'T). There was actual!Tee Bundit telling off Seng Wichai's character, that was rad. Director Lit Phadung of SOTUS and Dangerous Romance (😬) was there. Even the original novelist for Thailand's first television BL, Love Sick, was there, playing herself as Kwang Latika, who complained to a producer within War of Y that the show-within-the-show (yeah, I know) was taking her novel out of context. That shit sounds familiar! I could have used more accurate commentary on that.

The last high point that I can muster is that the show began to toe the line of the issue of actors needing to explore their sexualities for art's sake. As fans, we truly do not have much insight into this process, and I think it's for good reason, so as to protect actors (wherever they land on the sexuality spectrum) from very real, emotional, and sensitive processes and workshops that prepare them for taking on queer material. We know that actors like Nanon Korapat from Bad Buddy use Method techniques in their performances, and that can be mentally draining. Do I believe that some actor pairings experiment with dating, and may actually be in relationships? Yes, I must believe it, considering the psychological work these young men have to do to build attraction to each other for art's sake. The CEO of Korea's Strongberry studio confirmed as much earlier this year.

Unfortunately, I think War of Y leveraged these very sensitive realities to blatantly and flippantly indicate that ships can be ASSUMED to either explore sex with each other, and/or to even assume that they SHOULD be in relationships, à la the television BL romance formula that I mentioned above. I think this show could have transcended the romance genre formula, frankly, and I think the show came kinda close to doing that in the last chapter with First Piyangkul -- but not before setting up First's character, Achi, as a cheating monster-machine who was willing to go to great lengths to protect his fame, including outing his trans-female ex-girlfriend and co-star (YEAH, THAT HAPPENED), as well as separating himself from his ship and sexual same-sex partner while still indicating that they were dating. The whole storyline was just -- BLEH.

As I chatted with another fabulous BL elder, @twig-tea, about after I finished War of Y, clearly, Cheewin and Den thought they were intellectual geniuses upon the creation of this show, thinking that a BL itself would be a sufficient mechanism to offer meta commentary about problematic aspects of the BL industry (IT'S NOT). Twig wisely said to me that a writer or directly simply CHOOSING a topic to explore vis à vis a BL -- like a criticism of the industry itself -- is not, in of itself, worthy of laudation. And Cheewin and Den were CLEARLY expecting flowers by the end of this drama. If you've ever lived in smelling distance of southern California, you'll know that entertainment industries love nothing more than to talk about the entertainment industry, and that they think that fictional drama art is the best way to obsess over the vagaries of these industries (IT'S NOT). Instead, Cheewin and Den basically outed themselves as economic shippers and idiot faux-savants who are clearly in the game for fame, and maybe the dudes themselves, which -- BLEH REDUX.

On the OGMMTVC list, Lovely Writer does such a better job at covering the latent homophobia and judgments against actors within and external to the industries that take on BL. War of Y actually teed up a LOT of interesting topics, such as the BL-to-het-drama-and-studio pipeline that I talked about in my past OGMMTVC KinnPorsche pieces -- but these topics in War of Y just instead drowned in misanthropic meditations about fame, sex, and money that seemed far more suited to reaaaaalllly-bad Cinemax than, say, a proto-documentary.

The OGMMTVC syllabus also has YYY, from 2020, as a first entrée to BL-commentary-within-BL (and funnily enough, YYY also stars Lay Talay, who was the main anchor of War of Y, and was actually fantastic in both shows). YYY is a lot more succinct, CONCISE, zany, weird as HELL, incomplete, INSANE, not the greatest show, but HILARIOUS, simply in part because of its different and wonderful writers in Fluke Teerapat (a former BL actor himself) and Tanachot Prapasri. If you're looking for commentary about BL within wild-ass fiction (and if you're willing to watch it with shrooms or a fifth of vodka), watch YYY. (And remember that you're really watching YYY to watch Poppy Ratchapong eat his role of Porpla totally alive. Utter brilliance.)

Otherwise, as a means of complementing this review, I also watched 2020's non-fiction mini-documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy, by Aam Anusorn, another Series Y director who made the documentary, perhaps in part, to atone for past BL shows that he made, like 2Moons2 and Call It What You Want.

BL: Broken Fantasy featured interviews from directors, actors, and actual fans, about the nature of shipping, what the industry demands of actors, what fans themselves demand, and offered even a little bit of insight from two HUGE actors, Bright Vachiwarit and Win Metawin of 2gether and Still 2gether, about the process itself of young men acting in a queer coupleship.

The documentary is perhaps too short for its own good. And it sets up Aam as an unwilling participant within the BL industry, seemingly not knowing about what he was getting into when he first started making BLs (2gether's director, Champ Weerachit, also presents this way, which I found a touch disingenuous, as they were literally filming 2gether in the documentary).

But BL: Broken Fantasy hammered on a couple of important and real points. The economic benefits of shipping are HUGE. The sponsorship deals, the fame, the money -- they literally make young actors very rich and very well attended to. The fans EXPECT shipping performances, so that they themselves can situate themselves as caretakers or "mommies" to their young flock of boba-eyed actors that they worship. And for directors who want to earn money by making filmed art: the budding industry offers them that opportunity in growing spades. ( @lurkingshan will be happy to know that of all people, Aof Noppharnach, confirms to the documentary's audience that BL is a romance genre of love stories. As if there was any doubt, playa!)

At this point in time, in 2024, if I want a meta-critical understanding of the BL industry, and its many impacts on queer populations, fan bases, and Asian and global society, I'll go to Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand and choose the academic route. We are SO LUCKY now to actually have tremendous academic discourse on the genre and its impact on media, fandoms, queer society, and global and regional acceptances of queer equity.

As opposed to the roads that academics are paving, War of Y allowed itself to bloat and gloat, on behalf of its creators, about their desires for shipping, for lavishing attention on beautiful young men, without offering us objective insight into the mindsets of these gentlemen who are important artists and creators in many of the shows we love. There needs to be a space for fair and objective criticism about an industry that may, at many times, take advantage of these young men. While there were many industry cameos in the show, the most frequent cameo was Den Panuwat himself. That enough should tell us what this show was ultimately really about.

[Well, as you can tell, I am fucking DONE with War of Y, laughing my azz off, and -- I'm off to greener pastures. I'm taking a cute and quick break from the OGMMTVC to devour Japan's anime version of Cherry Magic for an upcoming comparative (and totally self-indulgent) Big Meta on Thailand's and Japan's versions of that franchise. (And I have also been watching Fully Booked, AMA.) But I've got a long-awaited rewatch of The Eclipse coming up, to explore how GMMTV handled homophobia as a centered topic head-on, and from there, I go back to Idol Factory to watch Thailand's first GL, featuring the lovely FreenBecky, in GAP.

AND THEN: HOLY SHIT! FINALLY! My School President. I can't wait.

Here's the latest of the OGMMTVC list. If you've got any questions or comments about the syllabus, just mosey on over to this link and drop a comment my way!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here)

21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here)

31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (review here) 35) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here)  36) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist (part 1 and part 2) 37) Honorable Mention: War of Y (2022) (for the sake of an attempt to provide meta BL commentary within a BL in the modern BL era), with a complementary watch of Aam Anusorn’s documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy (2020) 38) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 39) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine “Genre BLs” and Internalized/Externalized Homophobia in GMMTV Shows (watching) 40) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL)

41) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 42) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 43) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 44 La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 45) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 46) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 47) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 48) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 49) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew) 50) Ossan’s Love Returns (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake)

51) Dead Friend Forever (2024) (thoughts here) 52) 23.5 (2024) (GMMTV’s first GL) (thoughts here)]

#war of y #war of y the series #billyseng #billy patchanon #seng wichai #cheewin thanamin #den panuwat #first piyangkul #the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #turtles catches up with the essential BLs #turtles catches up with thai BLs #war of y meta

[f4iry-bell]

@emelia07 sorry i couldn't directly answer the ask, my stupid ass accidentally posted midway editing. ANYWAY, this quite long for an one shot and there will be a part two (for the lovers part). lowkey longan huntzberger vibes

She drove him to the absolute end of the world. And with just two sentences, it's all Jameson Hawthorne has been thinking about. Jameson likes to party, in his own way, not the silly college parties that he gets invited to. But he was in college, and is in college to meet people, make friends, and have fun. Maybe these people can learn a thing or two from him.

So he accepted an invite and went to a party. The biggest mistake he made since he joined college. Because that's where he met her.

Being in a party full of stupid men was enough to piss Y/n off, on top of that she saw a man with probably a narcissistic personality disorder. There was a group of people talking, one of them was her friend, her friend called her over and got her involved in the conversation. She was surprised how many people were interested in Jameson Hawthorne.

“Have you smoked weed”

“What is the most expensive thing that you own”

“What is do you like”

Tons of questions were asked to him. 

“I’m a man of riddles and games. There isn't a single riddle that I can't solve” He told them with a confident smile.

Y/n didn't know much about this man, but she had the urge to humble him.

“I have a riddle for you.” She said, grabbing his attention. 

Jameson liked it, a challenge. He thought, a random girl at a random college party, how hard the riddle could be?

“What has no wings, but flies. Has no eyes but knows every colour” She said. Everyone was confused, including Jameson himself. He tried to think of an answer but he didn't get one. He tried to think of something mythical, something metaphorical. But he couldn't get anything that fits.

“Quiet now, are we?” She smiled so proudly of herself. Jameson didn't answer, just stared at her intensely. She was the one to break eye contact and leave.

Jameson spent days looking for an answer, he even asked his brothers for help. None of them could figure it out. He was not the type to give up. But there's a first time for everything, he thought. He headed to the girls' dorm and knocked on her door. Going to parties come handy, you can easily find any girl’s dorm room.

She opened the door. “You need something?” She asked him. 

“Answer” It was all he said, his pride was too high to form a complete sentence.

“For what? We don't take any classes together” She acted like she doesn't know what he's talking about.

“Quit the act. You know what I want” He said calmly. 

“Oh, you mean the riddle? I thought you could find the answer to any riddle” She smirked.

“Well, since last week I can't. Now, answer.” He asked.

“Where are your manners?” She raised an eyebrow.

Jameson rolled his eyes. “Please?”

She smiled. “The answer is; nil”

“Nil? As in nothing? Doesn't make sense ‘What has wings but can't fly—” He was cut off by her.

“Yeah, yeah. It doesn't make any sense because there is no answer. I don't know the answer either, I just randomly made it up without having an answer.”

Till this moment Jameson was amused and intrigued by this girl. But now? He was frustrated. He was speechless.

“Do you know how much time I spent on this ridiculous so-called riddle?” He was mad.

“Wah, wah, wah. I don't know and I don't care. You got your answer, now bye.” Then she slammed the door. 

Jameson calmed himself down. It's just a stupid thing. He can't let it get to him. But it did, she did.

_

He tried hard not to think about her, and how she played him but he failed every time. Sometimes he even admired it. But he wants to get even or a step ahead of her. So, he joined her journalism class and sat right next to her.

“That's my friend’s seat” She told him.

“Not anymore” He smiled.

“You're not even in this class” She stated.

“Not anymore” He gave her a cheeky smile.

“You're interested in journalism?” She asked.

“I'm full of surprises”

“Whatever”

Jameson learnt that she is on top of the class, and likes to stay that way. So he decided to compete with her, he has barely any interest in journalism but he wants to get back at her. Finally, there was an actual competition between them. There was only one spot left in the Yale newspaper. The editor said whoever writes the best article gets the spot. 

Y/n had too many ideas to write about but she finally settled on writing about the secret society, but she needed information and it's already too late. Tomorrow is the submission, so she sneaked inside the library at midnight and even picked the lock of the restricted section to get access to the newspapers there. She found nothing except a Yale newspaper which had a bunch of suspects on who could be that year's members of the secret society, and she headed towards the library exit. To her luck, Jameson Hawthorne was standing right there, he looked like he was waiting for her.

“Too late to be here, don't you think?” he asked. “I must let you know, I do admire a good lock picking” He said leaning against the door frame.

“I could ask you the same question” She said ignoring the last sentence.

Jameson smirked. “I was just wandering around the campus and found the library door slightly open and look what I've found inside” 

“You're seriously not going to tell me, are you?” She asked. “We're not like in 4th grade or something”

“It'll get you suspended, and I’ll get the spot” He shrugged.

“Oh, so this is how you want your win? By getting me suspended?” She chuckled, she knew by now that Jameson Hawthorne likes to win but he also likes to play.

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “Very well. You still haven't answered my question.” He noted.

“I came to look for information for my article. Not that it's any of your—.” She stopped her sentence midway and took a look at his outfit. He was wearing a suit with a tie which had blue and white stripes. He was also holding a hat and it looked like something was inside the hat. Who would wear a suit with Yale colours and hold a hat on a wednesday at 12:45am? 

“Wait, you're part of the secret soceity, aren't you?” She asked, curiosity filled. 

“One never tells” His eyes drifted to her hands which held the newspapers. Jameson smirked and then spoke. “Good night, Ace” And then he left.

“Wait!” She called and ran after him. “Tell me about it,” She asked.

“Like I said, one never tells” And then he walked away. 

_

Two days later Y/n searched for Jameson everywhere and found him in the cafeteria mixing up random drinks. She slammed a paper on the table.

Jameson looked at it. “Mm, I see you've read my article” He smirked.

“You stole my idea!” She tried not to yell.

“Really?”

“You don't even care about this paper, or the spot.”

“Listen, Ace. We both wrote about the same thing, one just did it better than the other. And the better one gets the spot.” He explained with a sly smirk.

“Because you are a member! Obviously you'd know more than me!” She pointed.

“Better luck next time” He was still smirking.

“Screw you” With that she left. Jameson obviously didn't know why the spot meant so much to her.

_

Jameson noticed that she didn't sit at the usual spot, instead she sat at the back of the class and she looked so tired, almost like she had been crying. He wanted to go and sit next to her but what's the point? He won the game. She is no longer a part of his life, right?

#jameson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne x reader #the inheritance games #the brothers hawthorne #the grandest game #grayson hawthorne #xander hawthorne #avery kylie grambs #nash hawthorne #the hawthorne brothers #avery grambs

[lenaboskow]

absolutely, 100% serious question here. do you not believe characters can grow and change and work to make themselves better? because i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that buck has absolutely done that. so why can tommy not have done the same thing?

(i can’t figure out how to word this so it sounds less combative, but i genuinely am asking in good faith, i promise.)

no worries! i 100% believe that characters and people in general can learn from their mistakes, and buck is a perfect example of that (i still can't stand rewatching season one because of him, though i love him to death), and see, i thought that we could possibly get that with tommy, and for a second there i thought we were, but then the way he acted on the date made me realize he'll always be a... not nice person.

up until the date, the only real redemption we got was him apologizing to chimney only after chimney saved his life, and apologizing to hen only when he was backed into a corner. chim and hen both seemed to forgive him, and i don't fault them for that, it's their decision, but the instances never sat right with me.

then tommy said on the date in 7x05 that the 118 was a pretty regressive place under gerrard, and i can understand that. if it had been left at that, i probably could've switched to mildly disliking him (because even then it sounded like he was making excuses for his actions, and not owning up to them). but then he made the comment about closet space, in front of the person buck was obviously not comfortable coming out to yet, and i lost hope. if eddie had been a little more perceptive, it would've outed him.

keep in mind, as a queer person, i totally understand not wanting to be with someone who isn't even out to their best friend, but tommy could've handled it better. he went in knowing that buck was still figuring himself out, and when he realized he couldn't be with someone who couldn't be out just yet, he acted upon that in not the best way. closet comment aside, leaving him at the curb like that without making sure he had a way home, without telling him that's what he was doing until the car pulled up, that's a dick move. sure, it worked out in the end, but how many times in the future is that going to happen? how many partners has he done that to in the past?

to me, the date just showed me that tommy hasn't learned from past mistakes yet. if we could get a proper redemption, with apologies and recognition that the way he's acted can have real-world consequences, i'd be okay with that. but i just don't see that happening.

hope that answered your question!

#911 spoilers #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #tommy kinard #anti tommy kinard #not anti bi buck anti tommy kinard

[koisuko]

Hello, I was wondering if you would write a romantic Smoke x female reader, about Smoke trains the reader self defense but they start to flirt and become handy with each other?

Yesss, more Tomas lovers!

Tw: handsy behavior, flirtation, may contain lewd suggestions, fem reader, no use of y/n

You are far from incapable of taking care of yourself, and Tomas knew that. But having a boyfriend who was both a ninja, and had ninja enemies, he was worried for your safety. Often times, his mind would run wild with ‘what if’ questions. ‘What if I’m not there to save her’ ‘what if something happens to her’ ‘what if she gets taken, or worse’ and many more. So, to set his mind at ease, you agreed to train with him and learn some basic self defense. It couldn’t hurt to learn something new, and maybe you’ll be able to fight along side him…someday.

Every morning, you two would wake up early to have the training grounds to yourselves. Tomas wanted to make sure that you felt comfortable, and wouldn’t be shy or embarrassed if you made a mistake in front of others. Plus, you two would have alone time to be yourselves without any on lookers giving awkward side-eyes.

Today, training was done a little bit earlier than usual. The moon hung high over the sky, bathing the courtyard in an almost ethereal glow. The calls of night life offered a backdrop to the sounds of grunts and exerted breaths. “Good, again.” Tomas repeated, repositioning himself opposite of you with a twirl of his Karambit. Blankets of heavy smoke swirled around his figure, moving to settle beside him on either side. You nod, careful to perfect your defensive stance. The role was simple, Tomas wouldn’t go easy on you, as promised, and you would work on your defense as if against a real enemy. “Remember,” he spoke, “don’t be afraid to hit me, okay?” You hesitated at first, but nod reluctantly. With the confirmation out of the way, he charged at you, running low with his karambit held at his side. You tried your best to keep your confidence, but seeing him run at you was intimidating, causing your stance to falter and allowing him an opening to attack. Before long, your back collided harshly against the ground. The sheer velocity nearly knocking the wind out of you. Tomas kept you beneath him with his thighs firmly closed around you, forcefully keeping your arms at your side. His arms caged either side of your head, and the close proximity of his lips to yours was making you blush. "Do not hesitate, be sure of your actions or you create an opening for attack." His words bounced off the skin of your cheek. The best part of this whole situation, he seemed oblivious to the effect he was having on you.

He paused in his movements, giving you a questioning look. His head tilted to the side as his eyes trail along the contours of your face. He was confused, concerned even, at the red hue swallowing your cheeks and your parting lips gasping for air. “What’s wrong?” Tomas asked, his brows knitted together. The only response you could give, was a pathetic squeak, squirming beneath him while turning your face away to provide at least some space between the two of you. To your surprise, he grasped the base of your jaw, turning your gaze to meet his once again. “Do you need a break?” He was still blissfully unaware, the stupid look of concern still written on his features. “I-I’m fine, Tomas,” you replied. Tomas loosened the pressure of his thighs on your body, giving you the prime opportunity to use your weight and strength to reverse the roles. With a thud and a grunt, he was now beneath you, your face still flush with embarrassment. Tomas was surprised, is eyes shot wide from the sudden turn of events. “V-very good, you did well!” He blushed at the sudden power you had, his stutter causing you to giggle in response. “I think I like you better from this angle,” you smirked, placing a hand on his chest. You pushed yourself up, reaching out to help him. You could feel the slick sweat of his palms between your clasped hands. He was nervous, in a good way of course. Tomas unknowingly had a love struck smile on his face, hearts nearly visible in his pupils. He cleared his throat awkwardly, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. Tomas took a deep breath to gather courage before approaching, gingerly placing a hand on your waist, “you did well today.” For a split second, he admired the shape of you, every bump and curve that created you. His eyes trailed back up to meet yours with a tender smile. “Let’s get some rest.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #mk1 #mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mk1 x reader #mortal kombat1 #mk1 tomas vrbada #tomas vrbada #mk tomas vrbada #tomas vrbada mk1 #mk1 smoke #mk smoke #smoke mk #smoke mk1 #tomas vrbada x reader #tomas vrbada x you #tomas vrbada x y/n #no use of y/n #fem reader #smoke x reader #smoke x you #smoke x y/n #mk1 smoke x reader #mk smoke x reader #mk1 tomas vrbada x reader #mk tomas vrbada x reader #mk fandom #mk1 imagine #mortal kombat 1 2023

[yourtongzhihazel]

I feel like Marxist-Lennists on the whole are some of the most balanced communists when it comes to earnestly evaluating the value of EAS projects while being able to look at them critically, but I do feel that some are a bit afraid to criticize, at least when it comes to the more unsavory aspects of communist history. I understand why since so many of the admittedly bad things socialist countries have done have been exaggerated to absolute oblivion, so acknowledging them to any extent can feel like an admission, but I still think it ends up being a blind spot for some.

Its easy to fall into a "spiral" as I like to call it of being surrounded by shitlibs for so long that you forget to do the critical part of critical support. This is why we must be aware of our own shortcomings.

I engage in criticism of AES, of which there's plenty to be made, in a specific format and setting that is most conductive to learning from the mistakes and from the successes of AES. Crucially, discussions must take into account both their material conditions and your own when coming to analyze certain policies. These discussions can and should happen between comrades.

I don't think there's much I can say which you haven't already pointed out so I'll stress how our ideological superstructure and political-economy favors the reaction over legitimate criticism. Give the reactionaries an inch and they will take a mile. They operate in the abstract world of "reason", so to them, a singular blemish is enough to slander, denounce, and disassociate with any country, movement, or person.

#hazel's press releases #self-crit

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

#txt #was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn #and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting? #i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings #im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to #overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do #its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice #the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you #still lack #even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is. #and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included) #i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at #such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them #i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own #personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes #people really do find things that they love within them. #anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art #sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on #and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me #but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back #and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit #that it’s all worth it. ya know?

[perenlop]

listened to cabinet man again for holiday joy and i also listened to touch tone telephone again and man the urge to add it to the quinn and atlas playlist…

#havent updated that in a hot minute but still #sorry i know its cringe or whatever to put lemon demon in spotify playlists but i promise this one actually fits #with how quinn is so distrusting because of her and atlas’s backstory and how she struggles to have faith in him #and feels as though she needs to explain herself to him because hes made the mistake of not giving her credit before #so when she learns more than she should have she tries to spill her guts to him. but she cant because of herself and the enemy #and atlas’s own cluelessness #aughhghfhfhhf quinn is soooo mentally ill #echoed voice #quinn also just like. she gets onto stuff she sees when stuff isnt right #but shes also got short term memory loss and so many pokemon regard her as flighty and unreliable #so shes held back by them AND shes had her self worth destroyed over that and more. so she thinks her findings arent worth it bc she thinks #that shes just ‘dumb’ (internalized ableism!) #but touch tone telephone would be when she finally has so much that she cant afford to let it rest and she HAS to tell her brother #warn him tell him to run. but itd be in vain. because she wouldnt get to finish the song. she couldnt reach him bc the enemy found her first

[hooved]

i dunno if this is like weird advice to give, but for anyone who is or has a partner/friend/etc. who's interested in a threesome (or more), you gotta make sure that everyone involved is emotionally ready for that. if you or someone else might get jealous, then just don't do it. don't lie and say you're ready just because you wanna make your partner happy, or because of peer pressure, or even just because you're attracted to someone involved, etc., if you're having any doubts at all then just say so. this is something you need to discuss thoroughly beforehand. jealousy or any other sort of emotional discomfort during group sex WILL negatively affect your relationship(s) with whoever's involved. if sex is an experience that's very important and personal to you and you're not ready to share that with someone other than your partner(s) then there's no shame in turning it down. a good partner wouldn't be upset by you setting boundaries. your comfort is more important than the opportunity to have a threesome

#sorry if this is too personal/tmi or whatever but i was just thinking about one of my exes and like #i asked her many times beforehand if she was okay with it. i really really wanted to make sure she was comfortable. she told me she was #but it still made her jealous and that did irreparable damage to our relationship. i could tell pretty quickly that it was a mistake #and yeah we don't talk anymore for mostly unrelated reasons (i unfortunately learned she wasn't a great person) but i still regret that #i could see after we broke up (which was mutual because we were....not as compatible as we thought. as mentioned above) #that she was always going out of her comfort zone to try to make me happy. and i genuinely feel bad about that. i would never ask for that #i wouldn't have been upset if she told me she wasn't sure about it because i don't wanna put anyone in an uncomfortable situation like that #anyway this was like. 9 or so years ago at this point. i still wanna apologize to her but i feel like it'd be weird to bring up y'know #but yeah i just want ppl to know this kinda stuff is avoidable if you have a truly honest discussion beforehand #and if there's any doubt at all then it's best to just not go through with it because your feelings could change at any moment tbh #but if you're all emotionally prepared then threesomes can be great ! exhausting but that's a given lmao

[taegularities]

being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue

#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots #because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of #i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry #i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist #and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago #you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you #and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog #if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon #and I've never used that word ever since #i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay' #and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me #if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl #and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are #defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man #idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter #what i do #reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did #<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt #idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots #if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was #uneducated af of me #to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages #i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all #thank you that's it #go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore #also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos #my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night #edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to #that's it... thank you guys and ily #ill brb. not too long just a bit

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

something you have to know about me is that i am obsessed with the unexplored dynamic between franziska and sebastian after the events of investigations 2. another thing you have to know about me is that sometimes i write ace attorney scripts in my notes app for funsies. and yet another thing you must know about me is that i am a trans sebastian truther first and a human being second

(transcript in alt text)

#obsessed with the idea of franziska learning the hard way what patience and kindness is required to be an older sibling #and thus becoming more (silently) apprecative of what miles has done for her #and also learning things about herself via sebastian asking her when no one else will bc they're scared of her #bc sebastian is kinda clueless and very curious and he looks up to her a lot and he just has so!! many!!! questions!!!! #btdubs if someone wants to draw this and @ me i would love that. bc i do not have the energy to draw this whole exchange #ace attorney #my scripts #aai2 #sebastian debeste #franziska von karma #oh btw fun fact that drawing i did with sebastian saying ''the prostitution is ready your honour'' was originally gonna also have franziska #i didn't have the energy to draw anymore but she was gonna be behind the prosecutor's bench with him with her head buried in her hands #and it was gonna be a short comic where when informed of their mistake sebastian was gonna start freaking out #internally being like ''oh jeez i messed up already...... maybe i can't do this...........'' and franziska was gonna Notice That #and be like ''you only made one little mistake sebastian debeste it's not the end of the world now present your argument'' #and then she catches herself saying that and starts having her own existential crisis #bc she just admitted to herself that it's ok to not be perfect #and sebastian's like ''ohhhh you're right i can DO this!!'' #and franziska realises that she's become the kind of mentor she needed as a kid and she has broken the cycle of abuse #and she watches sebastian absolutely SLAY in the courtroom (malapropisms notwithstanding) #so yea that drawing is actually also part of this concept where franziska becomes a mentor to sebastian #edit: oh god tumblr really fucked up the quality on this one sorry #maybe use the alt text if you're struggling to read

[call-me-corvid]

Manger in charge of a LOT of shit quit recently because he got a job offer that was

A) 3x his original salary, and

B) involved far less responsibility

I had worked as his subordinate last year, so naturally the head honchos asked me take over what he was doing. Not with the title, but with the “promise” that we can visit that discussion in eight months depending on my performance (yeah okay /s).

Key note: I had received a similar promise for a different manager position. (No followup mention of that promise + no significant training provided to move me towards that position) * 7 months = empty promise. Alright cool.

One month in. Not getting too much guidance (expected), told I’m doing good and need to value myself higher.

Okay. Bet.

Asked for a raise in recognition of increased responsibilities beyond my current job description, quality of work, pay scale of the position (i’m at the bottom), etc. You know, hard facts that cannot be influenced by subjective feelings of importance or relevance.

Oh let’s not forget part of the raise was the annual raise that the HR manager promised ALWAYS happens but I have not received since my annual review four months ago. That I told the HR manager about two months ago but never heard anything back on. So there was a reminder of that, as well.

Told (to my face) that I’m entitled, don’t work hard enough, issued an ultimatum (literally didn’t make any sort of threat but okay), used the owner’s words against him (literally just quoted him on something he told me about pay when I was first hired but okay), they threatened that they could easily go out and find an external hire to take on in the role I’m being “trained” for, and asked if I REALLY think any other place would hire me. Among other “”feedback.””

Okay. Okay okay okay okay. I see how they view me now. Good to know. I learned quite a few things from this conversation and I think some of those things may surprise them.

#you like talking about red flags? let’s check off how many you just dropped #literally all care for this industry: gone in one conversation! #a new personal record honestly #one of my favorite bits was when i was blamed for a management meeting being run poorly because i ‘should’ve been the one to structure it’ #oh but of course no mention of how i was never told that #and that i’m not actually a fucking manager #’act like you have the job you want to have’ oh good! you mean what I was trying to do?? with no clear outline of expectations?? #WELL right now I want to have a different fucking job so maybe I should take that advice #and refocus the energy that i was using for doing work shit in my free time #i’m an idiot but don’t ever say I don’t learn from my mistakes #because i’ve learned from this one #you’ve made your opinion on me abundantly clear #(we wont discuss the derogatory Slack messages about me that I found) #(pro tip: when adding someone to a new chat PERHAPS you should go through and make sure you delete messages insulting that person) #personal

[the-trans-dragon]

Hehehe >:3 got a kissie and some headpats from a pretty girl >:3 muahahahahahaha >:3

#sorenhoots #sometimes i remember that i am living the life that i ached for during lonely years #like i just get to wake up and live my gay little life??? kinda fucking awesome even if many other parts of life are very stressful #im so glad i met my wife who loves me for who i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and 😈😈😈 heheh then i met my other partner???? like. i thought my wife made me #the happiest i would ever be and then WOOSH i met ANOTHER person who makes me incredibly happy? i did not know the happiness could DOUBLE. #i figured it was like 0%-100% and my wife made me like 100% of my capacity for happiness and then its like 200% now and im realizing that my #capacity to experience joy and peace isnt static and frankly probably increases steadily over a lifetime as i grow and change and learn to #appreciate things more. anyways im in a content happy lil gay mood this morning :3 #my partner got to visit us recently to help us get emotionally ready for some stressful stuff but now the most stressful parts are done and #now that the stress is fading i am finding so much happiness has been in my chest waiting to burst! it was sooo good to see my partner hehe #and the situation is even cuter because my wifes partner also came to visit and my wifes partner is my partners wife also so like. adorable #symmetry. my partner and my wifes partner have another partner and if you draw out a little diagram of us you will see it is shaped like a #house :3 a square with a triangle on top :3 hehe metamours everywhere :3 super super super wonderful metamours. its literally almost like a #fairy tale to have a polycule??? like?? im so excited to live somewhere that isnt like 9 hours from them. oh my god they also have a cat and #shes the cutest. me and my wife have a cute cat also and we are like 👀👀👀 tenatively anticipating that they will get along 👀👀👀 ive #specifically worked with my cat to help her know how to behave around other cats. my neighbor is retired and does TNR on the local strays #and they get attached to her and hang out in her backyard or her house lol like one snuck in and this was before they had any cats and they #didnt know he snuck in until he hopped onto her bf's chest at night to snuggle up. and hes a big cat and if you felt him drop onto your #chest in the pitch black of night you might absolutely mistake him for a racooon or possom or some other beast. anyways he sneaks into all #the houses down the street apparently and is just kinda like “the retired people down the street”'s cat lol. and daisy would hiss and yowl #out the window at him but i always tried to show her that he is friendly (and give her treats to attempt to tell her 'he isnt a threat. have #a snack. see? if he was a threat then we would not be having snacks.' and eventually he ran into us while i was letting her outside on her #harness and!!! i was absolutely ready to defend either of them from the t #other but they just cautiously sniffed each other and then laid down. it was fascinating to observe. daisy also responds really well yo #to meeting new people :3 though she proved me wrong by hiding from some maitenence ppl recently. but then she met my metamour and was pretty #much instantly like 'oh ok ur family? sounds gok #sounds good.' so thats cute and i hope if we end up in the same house with the other cat in the polci #polycule. well i hope they get along!!! #idk what we would do if they didnt. there are lots of other housing arrangements (like renting a duplex or next-door apartments or #something) but i want them to get along anyways :3 no matter what sort of living arragement works out best. i think theyd be good for each

[xhanisai]

You know what really grates on my nerves?

When people say that Adrien deserves to get hurt or heartbroken for not ‘noticing’ Marinette and her feelings all this time and when people say that Ladybug deserves to get hurt or heartbroken for not dating Chat Noir right away or something like that.

It is such a vile thing to say or agree on- especially when Adrien and Marinette thinks of the world of each other and their alter egos. Adrien has asked a few times about Marinette’s feelings to her face and her nerves always got the best of her and she never admitted the truth; he trusts and values her word. So it isn’t his fault that he doesn’t know her true feelings for him. 

And Ladybug, despite not accepting her partner’s romantic advances, absolutely adores him! She trusts him with her life and the civilians of Paris. She loves giving him adorable nicknames and treats him with care when she can. Regardless of what she feels for him (even if us viewers know it’s romantic love), Ladybug doesn’t have to go out with him and she shouldn’t be punished by the fandom for that. 

Anyways, these two mean the world to each other on all sides of the lovesquare and they’re not aware that their feelings are reciprocated (regardless of which side). They also NEVER go out of their ways to intentionally harm or hurt the other and always push things aside and prioritise each other when needed.

Do they have a bit of a communication issue? Yes, but they are teenagers and are working on it and they will clear that obstacle. The problem is that they are both too selfless so they don’t like to burden others with their feelings. They will grow and become better people :)

Overall, what I’m trying to say is that lovesquare adore one another and if you genuinely believe that Adrien or Marinette have to be punished for not being aware or acting on the other person’s feelings, you’re a piece of shit and I feel sorry for the people around you :)))))

#ml fandom salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #lovesquare sugar #this isn't a vocal minority by the way #i have seen too many people on all platforms with the mindset that adrien and ladybug should be punished or suffer consequences for not #either realising marinette's romantic feelings or accepting chat noir's proposals #and it's genuinely so baffling #how can you seriously not see adrien's blatant love and pining for marinette and the huge respect and admiration for her? #he genuinely cares for her but often gets confused by her behaviour towards him #because he was homeschooled and he is socially awkward af #and ladybug? she fucking loves her partner IT WAS OBVIOUS FROM EPISODE ONE #yes she has unintentionally pushed chat noir away and made him feel lonely but that is because the balance between them shifted when she #became guardian and not to mention having to deal with Chat Blanc!! #in reality the people you love or loves you will end up hurting you be it intentionally or unintentionally #but that's because we are all human and we make mistakes #especially when you're young and you're still learning and growing #as i was typing the tags i just realised #it's another form of demiromantic erase if people genuinely think you should be punished for being friends with someone who's in love with #you even though you love them back (whether you know it or not) #you lads are a stupid bunch #anyways i'll be here all day and i need to fuck off lol

[desastreus]

-

#maybe i had more fun when i stayed invisible #i don't like the idea of many people knowing me #i spent a year socializing and now i'm kind of done #i don't regret it #i'm just tired #there are so many ways of trying to fit in #but nothing feels right because i made one close friend who really knows me and there's nothing above that feeling #trying to be known isn't working when you constantly feel like you have to change tiny bits of yourself #seem more like this #seem more like that #all of this doesn't come naturally to me #i deserve a break #i worked hard to where i am now #i learned a lot #made mistakes #but that's life #and a part of life is taking a break #so.... yeah

[woahajimes]

grah

#i WILL be the best #the best the best the best #one of the kids in my class got a 1560 on the SAT #the official one #the harvard average is 1520ish #like im going to kill myself #no im not taking the sat bc im staying in canada but god god god #also im watching rebelde way and i made such a mistake of skipping for just the pablizza scenes #like theres so many other characters and dynamics that i missed so now im rewatching all of it #god i want to be loved like that #maybe the god was unecessary #but oh #oh fran #oh tomas #oh pablo #the bar is so high im going to be single forever #ragh #anyways i highly reccomend learning spanish like there's no other way #rebelde way doesnt have subtitles and even if it did i dont think there's words in the english language that like translate well #this makes me want to move back to latam like im just #oh the frustration #also im doing pretty good. life is actually good #except i have no clothes and wear the same 3 fits all the time i hate my life

[bumblinfool]

Not everyone will understand me and that’s okay. I have been blessed with life and time. The right people will understand.

I’m just as good as anybody, I’m just as bad as anybody. As long as I do my best to be kind, I can trust in the process. Forgive my self and others. Hurt is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to destroy us.

#vents #life’s been real weird lately. I’ve made a lot of mistakes but I’ve learned so much #they brought me to where I am right now #and idk if I’d change anything about that #I put my self out there this weekend and it was difficult and I’m afraid that the people I admired didn’t admire me the same #even worse they could have misunderstood me completely or even disliked me #but I’ve been misunderstood many times before and somehow I always get more chances to be understood abd that’s so beautiful #and those moments of understanding g and friendship and love are worth a countless time more than all those failures #no matter how heavy it feels in the moment #i will persevere