#i have been pretty mental lately so. please continue being patient with me

[chickensarentcheap]

In a Heartbeat: Chapter Two

FANDOM: EXTRACTION

PAIRING: TYLER RAKE AND ESME DRUMMOND (ESTABLISHED OFC)

WARNINGS: angst. Big time angst.

SUMMARY:  Dhaka nearly ended everything before it even began.  In it’s aftermath and with Tyler’s life teetering on the threshold between life and death, Esme is about to realize just how strong she can be.  And that love happens when it happens. There’s no rules. No rhyme or reason. No timeline.  

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48691714/chapters/125445052

Tagging: @tragiclyhip @youflickedtooharddamnit @secretaryunpaid @munstysmind @karimac @kmc1989 @thebewingedjewelcat @ninjasawakenedmystar @residentdormouse @asirensrage @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @themaradwrites @occommunity @timbradfordsboot

My tag list is OPEN. Please let me know if you'd like to be added :)

******

Chapter Text

“Nik found us a little place,” Esme announces, as she tends to his beard; using a pocket comb to make her way through the wiry hair. “In Austria. Just on the outskirts of Gmunden. It looks really pretty; it’s right on the edge of a lake and it’s surrounded by trees and you can look out at the mountains.”

Reaching for a pair of cuticle scissors that rest on his chest, she chews on her bottom lip as she focuses on snipping the wiry hair. The gray is more noticeable now that his beard is longer and thicker, and she momentarily pauses her work and carefully studies his face and hair; enjoying how the strands of silver sparkle in the sunlight that streams into the room. They’re a sign of wisdom and experience; testaments to life often lived on the edge that take up residence at his temples, the nape of his neck, and throughout the wild top tresses.

“You know…” She uses the comb to sweep his bangs off his forehead and away from his eyes. “…I’m really digging this older guy vibe you’ve got going on. It’s kinda sexy; all the gray hair you’ve sprouted over the past five months. Once you hit fifty? You are going to be one hell of a hot silver fox. I’m going to have to beat the women off with a stick. And probably a few men.”

Returning to the task at hand, she carefully trims the hair above his top lip; mindful of the combination of breathing and feeding tubes that have been keeping him alive and nourished. When it became apparent that she was going to continue to ‘stand off’ against them, the doctors had -albeit reluctantly- switched their course of care; ordering the nurses to teach Esme the basics in case they’re ever short-staffed and other patients need to be of higher priority. She knows their excuses are bullshit; that they’re simply tired of her constant presence and her refusal to spare them the work of looking after someone they’ve already written off as a loss. And she’s also aware that they’re just biding their time until legal paperwork is drawn up and processed; licking their lips in anticipation of when they can serve her with a court order to have him removed from the machines.

Yet their pressure -both passive and actively aggressive- doesn’t sway her. Despite being both physically and mentally exhausted, she is staying the course; digging her heels in even deeper and willingly and readily accepting any ‘task’ they want to assign her.

“I am NOT very good at this,” Esme laments, as she returns to trimming his beard. “I am definitely not cut out to be a hair stylist, that’s for sure. You know what we’re going to do as soon as you’re out of here? Get you to a good barber. Because you’re starting to look homeless and unloved and I don’t need some bleeding heart picking you up off the street like you’re a stray.”

She hums as she works; upbeat show tunes and Beatles medleys that help keep her spirits up. They’ve been waning lately; the darkness she’d successfully fought off for so long now a near-constant presence. In two weeks it will be six months since he was declared ‘clinically dead’ and placed on the respirator. Half a year since she’d last seen him open his eyes and heard his voice; vividly able to recall those last few minutes that they’d spent together in Dhaka. Tucked away in that litter-strewn alley as dawn broke around them, unabashedly crying when he broke the news that he was going to send her off with Saju and Ovi. There was a better chance she’d make it there -and successfully get across the bridge- if they split up; he’d act as a decoy by creating chaos within the heart of town and drawing the enormous police and military presence away from the checkpoints. He’d admitted he wouldn’t be able to focus if she was with him; afraid he’d become so obsessed with her safety and well-being that he’d make simple, stupid mistakes. And in turn, cause BOTH of their demises.

On her part, there’d been anger. Confusion. Heartache. She’d initially lashed out at him and accused him of lying to her over the course of the last five days; none of the softer and adoring words had been true, and neither had been the hopes for a future or their plans to travel together. And when she’d seen the hurt that darkened his eyes and furrowed his brow and tensed his shoulders, she had changed her tactic; begging and pleading with him to change his mind. She’d be able to handle herself. Promising that she’d stick tight to him and wouldn’t be a burden or a distraction; he’d be able to focus on the job at hand. After all, he was the first person that had ever made her feel safe and secure. Protected. And it absolutely terrified her to have that suddenly snatched away.

It had felt like hours had passed since their initial goodbye; still feeling the callouses on his skin as he gently cradled her cheek in his palm, her lips still tingling from that long, shockingly tender kiss. And those words…spoken just before they parted…still echoing in her ears.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

It was the second time he’d said it. In less than thirty-six hours. Just that very morning he’d unexpectedly dropped it upon; a genuinely tender and hopeful moment as they parted ways at the extraction point. The drive there had been spent in silence; Tyler making the quick and effortless transition from the soft-spoken and attentive man she’d been intimate and shared secrets with to ruthless and calculated mercenary.

Yet it hadn’t frightened her. His mere presence and his smell and the glances and reassuring smiles he’d cast in her direction made sure of that. He may have become ‘all business’, but the other Tyler was just lingering just at the surface; the one that had shared his deepest and darkest confessions with her and who’d cried when talking about his son and his fight with cancer and the horrible decision he’d made prior to his death. And who’d shown every end of the sexual spectrum during their times behind closed doors; rough and aggressive and domineering one moment, slow and tender and worshipping the next.

She had never met anyone like him. In more ways than one.

And it was right before she began her trek through the forest and towards the river when it became abundantly clear that every kiss they’d shared, every secret spilled, every tear they’d shed, had all been real. He had meant the words he’d said; the excitement he’d shown at the idea of travelling together and of even seeing her birthplace and meeting her family. And the optimism he’d shown when talking about the possibility of a future…a REAL future…together.

Although a simple moment, it had seemed so deeply personal and intimate; the way he’d pulled that bulletproof vest over her head and made sure it was tightly and securely fastened. Already so protective; forgetting about her own background in the military and her years spent on the job in his quest and desire to keep her safe and sound. No one had ever made her feel that way before; nurturing and adoring and caring instead of being indifferent or malicious in both their words and their actions.

While Mark and all his cruel words and taunts, beatings and sexual assaults had stripped her of every ounce of trust in men, it had taken Tyler less than a week to restore not only her faith in others, but the most primal of needs and urges. Sex had never been a priority; it’s hard to find yourself THAT attracted to someone when you’d spent years having the most basic and most vile and degrading acts forced upon you. But with Tyler, it had been near instantaneous. An attraction that she’d felt the moment of their introduction in the outback; when one of those enormous, calloused and scarred hands had practically swallowed one of her own. The stories alone should have left her intimidated; the scores of incredibly dangerous missions he’d been involved in and the trails of blood and rotting corpses he left behind.

It was his eyes. Brilliant yet soulful blue; a humanity and a tenderness that he kept buried just under the surface. He wasn’t as broken or as soulless as he perceived himself to be; not truly the empty shell that he saw when he looked at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t turned to stone despite the hardships of the life he’d been living; instead his grief, guilt, and heartache so enormous and overwhelming that they left him numb and jaded to anything beyond his four walls. His addictions were proof that he was still very much alive; a troubled, lonely, touch-starved man that sought out unhealthy ways to ease both his physical and mental suffering.

She’d been privy to those sides he’d long buried. In the same way she had so blindly and wholly trusted him, he had done the same with her. Speaking openly and honestly about his son and the cancer that had not only robbed him of his life, but his father’s comforting and loving presence in those final moments. He spoke about his alcoholism and his addiction to pain meds; how he’d tried to stop on many occasions but found the suffering just too difficult to bear. And he confessed to the death wish he’d been carrying around since he’d abandoned his child; not really wanting a sniper’s bullet to cut him down in the middle of the job, but wholeheartedly believing he deserved it.

While he’d wanted to change and continued to desperately cling to any semblance of life, he didn’t quite know how to tackle his demons or fix the issues that surrounded him. He’d never been taught healthy coping mechanisms; not allowed to mourn the loss of his mother or to even show some glimmer of emotion during her funeral or those long days and nights of grieving that followed. It was a sign of weakness, after all. A real man didn’t react from the heart, let alone speak from it. And his father would simply not allow a ‘fragile and pathetic’ man to live under his roof.

And then one day, after years of beatings and cruelty, that abused and tormented child transformed into a deeply troubled man. Saddled with decades of trauma and toxic masculinity that his father had so viciously beat into him.

“I’ll see you when I see you.”

He’d spoken those words after making sure every piece of velcro on her vest was attached ‘just right’, then grabbed hold of the shoulder straps and pulled her into a kiss. It had been long and languid and heartbreakingly tender; nowhere near as intense and hungry and desperate as those they’d shared over the course of five days, but incredible in its own right. A kiss that held so much promise and a tinge of worry. A potent mixture of hope, optimism, and fear. The best-case scenario would be that the job went according to plan; he’d successfully rescue Ovi and return to the extraction point in less than two hours’ time. Unscathed. After that they’d be free; they’d get to safety, collect their money, and make good on all the plans they’d made. The worst-case scenario was the mission being an epic failure. And their parting words -ones made with the best intentions- would turn out to be a permanent goodbye.

********

It feels like a lifetime ago. Mahajan’s double-crossing, the brutal and untimely deaths of their team members, Saju’s relentless hunt in a desperate bid to save his own family. So many things had gone wrong in such a short period of time; a struggle to survive in litter-strewn alleys and sewers filled with feces, garbage, and rats. They hadn’t had a chance to relax; unable to catch their breath before the next disaster came charging full speed ahead. And it was out of desperation that Tyler had played the one card he still had up his sleeve; someone he’d known for years and had always been able to trust. After all, he’d saved the man’s life on more than one occasion. If that wasn’t deserving of even the tiniest bit of help, what was?

Neither could have known - as they lay in a mess of tangled sheets and naked limbs in the bed of Gaspar’s guest room, that the worst was yet to come. Holding onto a semblance of hope that they’d walked through the fires of hell and somehow lived to tell about it. Believing they’d simply lie low for a couple of days and then be on their way; wait for the pandemonium to settle and then move about somewhat freely and easily.

Only friends are sometimes your worst enemies. Gaspar’s allegiance with Asif and his subsequent betrayal had led to disaster; an attempt to kill Tyler in order to get his hands on her and Ovi and the ten million dollar ‘prize’ that he’d be rewarded with. And in the end, it had been the fifteen-year-old that had pulled the trigger; saving all of their lives yet setting the stage for what would be the most difficult hour of their entire lives.

Crossing the bridge.

It’s still so vivid. The wails of the injured and the dying. The smell of fire, gunpowder and spilt gasoline. The pollution wafting off the filthy water. The blistering sun and the suffocating humidity. The taste of her own sweat as it dripped from her nose and gathered along her top lip. And the blood. So much blood. Covering her hands and staining her clothes. The scent of copper as it hung heavily in the air. And the fear and panic in Tyler’s eyes as he straddled the threshold between life and death. His body impossibly heavy as it lay across her lap; his battered and bloodied hands desperately clutching the front of her shirt as he gasped for breath.

She briefly closes her eyes; pushing back the flood of tears and the painful, traumatic memories. Still unable to think about those moments before help had finally arrived; how minutes had seemed hours as she sat -a filthy, sobbing, terrified mess- with her fingers shoved in the bullet wound in order to staunch his heavy bleeding. Wondering if perhaps her efforts would be all for nothing; Asif’s remaining men making their way to the bridge and discovering them there. Alive Tyler would immediately be killed; they would have made sure she watched as they put a bullet -or several- into his already beaten and broken body. Her fate would have been so much worse; likely kept captive -for days, weeks, even MONTHS- and abused in every possible way. All she would have been able to do was suffer through it; unable to fight back against the strength and the power -and the amount- of her attackers. She’d never been a praying person; she didn’t necessarily believe or not believe when it came to a higher power. But during moments of solitude, she would have begged and pleaded to anyone…anything…to permanently end her torment.

Gathering her composure, she shoves all thoughts of Dhaka aside and returns to the task at hand; slowly and carefully trimming his beard, mindful of the hairs that crowd close to the ventilation and feeding tubes. She misses his face; the one that wasn’t taken over by life-saving measures. It’s been so long since she’s seen it; whether it be that slow, boyish smile or that sly, almost mischievous smirk or the intensity that narrows his eyes and furrows his brow. And his eyes; a brilliant, captivating blue that can quickly transform to dark and stormy. She’d been privy to so many things during those five days in Dhaka; body language and facial expressions and sides to him that he’d never allowed anyone else to see.

And she’s not ready to give any one of them up.

“So about this place. In Austria…” She moves to the bedside table and opens the top drawer; placing the comb and scissors inside and then picking up a pair of nail clippers. “…I think it’s perfect for us. It’s in the middle of nowhere; surrounded by trees and mountains and it’s right on the water. It’s got two bedrooms and one and a half baths and the cutest open-concept living room and kitchen combo. It’s not luxurious by any stretch of the imagination, but it IS comfortable. Quaint. And I don’t think we need much more than that, do you?”

Picking up his right hand, she patiently and gently tends to his nails. “I mean, I know it’s going to be pretty damn cold in the winter. And there’s going to be a lot of snow. But I’m used to it. I grew up in Colorado, remember? I know it’ll be a hard adjustment for an Aussie; you’re used to sun and sand and surf. But I think you’ll do alright. Actually, I KNOW you’ll do alright.”

When the conversation runs dry, she once more returns to humming as she works; finishing the rest of his nails before applying a hospital-provided moisturizer to both hands. Concentrating on the callouses on his palms and the one on the tip of his trigger finger; working the coconut-scened lotion into rough, thickened skin.

“I bet you haven’t been pampered like this in a long time,” she says, as she firmly massages his wrists, fingers, and thumbs. Diligently working at loosening the ligaments and tendons that have tightened over the course of the last six months. “If EVER. And I don’t mean to make it sound like I hate doing this, but buddy, you owe me one hell of a back rub when we finally get the hell out of here.”

It helps. Talking about the ‘when’ instead of the ‘if’. It’s the one thing that has kept her grounded and sane for half of a year; the plans they’d made and her determination to see them through. As long as she holds onto that little bit of hope, she hasn’t lost complete control of the situation; managing to keep death lingering at a comfortable distance while she navigates the grey and the gloom between here and there. If she allows herself to use the word ‘maybe’, she’s written him off; handed him the same death sentence that all the doctors and even Nik and Yaz have burdened him with. She refuses to give up; taking every flinch and flicker of his eyelids and twitch of his fingers or toes as a sign that he’s still fighting.

And nowhere close to surrendering.

She takes care of his hair next; spritzing it down with mandarin-scented detangler before making her way through with both brush and comb. Slipping a hand between him and the bed and gently lifting his head from the pillow; apologizing profusely when she feels as if she’s yanked a little too hard at the knots. And as exhausted as she is, she finds herself somewhat enjoying the tasks that she’s been given; a natural-born caretaker who’d been neglected and touch starved most of her life and in turn, wanted to make sure no one else experienced the same things. A mother hen so to speak; badly longing to protect and nurture another human being but never getting the opportunity to do so.

Until now.

“Pretty shitty circumstances though,” she says aloud, and drops the hair care tools into the top drawer of the nightstand. “I think I’d take the worst possible case of man flu over this any day of the week.”

Guilt immediately sets in. Worried that IF he truly can hear her and understand what’s being said, he’ll assume she feels he’s a burden. That the blame lies solely upon him in terms of her emotional and physical exhaustion and that she’s simply stuck by his side out of a feeling of misplaced servitude. He had saved her life in Dhaka, after all. Surely that must make her feel as if she owes him. That waiting on him hand and foot and perhaps even feeding him and cleaning his ass for the rest of his life is merely payback.

“I don’t really mean that you know.” She’s quick to apologize; using her hip to close the drawer on the nightstand and then leaning against the railing of the bed. And she chews nervously on her bottom lip as two fingertips swipe his bangs off his forehead and away from his eyes. “Not in the way it probably sounded. I don’t mind doing all this stuff. I WANT to do it. And I know you’d probably do the same for me. I just meant that it’s shitty circumstances that got us here. I’m sure you’d rather be anywhere else.”

Removing a tube of chapstick from the pocket of her hoodie, she snaps off the cap and leans over the bed railing. “You’re totally drying out here,” she laments, mindful of the breathing and feeding tube as she glides the bubblegum-flavoured concoction over his top lip, followed by the bottom. “I’m sorry it’s not the strawberry one you got used to in Dhaka. Remember how you always used to mention it? Every time you kissed me? About liking the taste of it? I ran out. And this cherry one was the closest thing I could find to it in the pharmacy here. There…” She uses a fingertip to clear excess from his lips. “…totally kissable now. Not that I wouldn’t kiss you before, but…” Pressing a kiss to each corner of his mouth. “…it makes it a little better.”

Pocketing the balm, she reaches for the lever on the bedrail and sets it into the down position. Gently straightening and smoothing out his blankets, she fluffs both the pillow behind his head and the one that supports his back before taking a seat on the edge of the mattress.

“Tyler…” She takes one of his hands in both her own. “…we need to have a little chat. I know it’s kind of unfair right now; you can’t exactly give an opinion or argue with me. And I promise that once you’re out here and back to normal, I MAY let you get a word in edge-wise from time to time. But for now, there’s some things I need to say. That I’d rather you hear now than never hear them at all, you know? Because…”

Sighing, she anxiously yanks the elastic out of her ponytail; shaking her long, dark tresses for before simply gathering them up and putting them back once again. “Look, you’ve been amazing, okay? You’ve done everything I’ve asked you to do; when it comes to giving me little signs that you’re making your way back to me. And I’m so proud of you; I know you’re tired and you’re healing but you’re still trying to help me out. That’s why it kills me that I have to do this. That I have to ask for more.”

She turns his palm up to face her and commences drawing slow, smooth patterns on it with the tip of her finger. Her eyes riveted on the beside monitor; a smile spreading across her face when his heart rate escalates.

“I keep telling them. That you ALWAYS respond to that. And that you’ve been responding to other things, too. I told them you’ll wiggle your toes or your fingers when I ask and how sometimes your eyelashes will flutter and other times you try and put your hand on top of mine. They don’t believe me; they think it’s all in my head. They keep saying that you’d do for them and the nurses if it was intentional. And you know what I said? I said ‘maybe he just doesn’t give a shit about any of you’.”

Sighing, she reaches up to tuck wayward strands of hair behind her ears.

“Tyler, I know I’ve asked a lot. And that you’ve worked really hard to give me what I asked. I know you’re tired; you’re trying to build up your strength so you can wake up and get the hell out of here. But we’re running out of time, babe. I told them I’d shut things off at the start of the sixth month; that’s only a couple of weeks away. I don’t want to do it, believe me. I want to keep you on these machines for as long as I can; until you’re a hundred percent ready to come off them. But if I don’t do what I promised, they’re going to take me to court. And they’ll get an order to override me and do what they want. I don’t want it coming to that. You deserve so much better than THAT. So this is where I need your help. AGAIN. I need you to do more, okay? I need a bigger sign. One that the doctors can’t brush off. I need something that says you’re almost ready; you’re stronger and you’re healthier and you’re almost at the finish line. I don’t want to say that I’m desperate, but I am. I really need this. I really need YOU. Because I’m starting to get really scared and you’re the only person that’s ever made me feel safe and protected and…” She valiantly struggles to hold back a flood of tears. “…and I never knew I even needed to feel those things. So please? Just do something. Anything. That shows them they’re wrong. Please.”

She waits for a sign. Another increase in heart rate. A flicker of his eyes. The wiggle of fingers and toes. And she’s crestfallen when nothing happens.

“You’re probably sleeping,” she laments, then slaps a hand against her forehead. “God I am so fucking stupid. Of COURSE you’re sleeping. You’re in a coma for Christ’s sake. I’m starting to lose it. I really am. I’m even talking to myself lately. Out loud. You can’t tell me THAT’S normal. And there’s one more thing…” She laces her fingers through his. “Now is going to be harder than I thought. To say what I need to. I don’t even know what I’m so scared of; it’s not you’re awake and you can laugh at me or act disgusted or just totally shoot me down. But I need to get it off my chest. Because if something does go wrong and something bad DOES happen, I’d never forgive myself for not telling you. So here it goes…”

Sighing heavily, she steels herself.

“I love you, Tyler. And I know what you’re probably thinking; about how it’s way too soon and that there’s no way you can love someone so quickly. Believe me, I never thought it was possible either. Until it happened. I don’t expect you to feel the same way; it’s not like you’ve spent the last five months like I have. Dhaka probably seems like just yesterday in your mind. I don’t expect you to wake up and say it back; not unless you FEEL it. And maybe you never will. I don’t know. Maybe those five days were as good as things were going to get. But I HAD to tell you. And to be honest, I needed to admit it to myself, too.”

For several minutes she sits in silence; tightly clasping his hand and watching his face for any change. The curl of a lip or the flutter of eyelashes or the swell of a cheek with an attempt of a smile. He’d been showing remarkable progress within the last few days alone; voluntary movements of his hands and feet and a slight grimace of pain when the night nurse had to change IV sites. But today he’s motionless; not even the smallest of flinches. Peacefully at rest; his beard and nails trimmed, his hair combed, and his skin warm to the touch.

“I’m going to go and do my stuff,” she says, and lifts his hand to her face; pressing a kiss to each battered knuckle and at the base of his wrist. “Do some yoga, take a shower, go down the hall to the kitchen and get something to eat. So I’m gonna just let you rest and…”

The moment she slips off the edge of the bed, his hand tightens around hers. Not with the strength of a man who’d been declared clinically dead and was relying on machines to keep him alive, but the strength of someone still very much alive. And fighting like hell.

“I knew it.” She allows the tears to come; cradling his cheek in her palm as she leans over the bed and rests her forehead against his. “I KNEW it.”

*****

Although running behind, she sticks to her morning schedule; simple ‘luxuries’ that she’s clung to to keep what’s remaining of her sanity. A lengthy and rejuvenating yoga routine that helps centre and ground; the furniture moved aside in the sitting area of Tyler’s private room to make space for herself and her mat. A long shower in one of the many ‘for family use only’ bathrooms; the pounding water working out the kinks in her neck and soothing the aches in her back and hips. Finished off with that first tea of the day and a quick and quiet breakfast. Steaming hot perfection combined with a bowl of yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit; always at the same table -and seat right next to the window- in the ICU’s small yet fully stocked and manned cafeteria.

It makes her feel human again. To focus on herself. But it’s fleeting and soon taken over by feelings of selfishness and guilt; ashamed that she’d allowed herself those moments of peace and clarity while Tyler continued to exist in that void between life and death.

But today is different. His response to her request for a more significant and more obvious sign and her profession of love has rejuvenated her; her confidence has returned to her step and her optimism and hope are both stronger than ever. She knows they’ll try and convince her it’s all in her head; gaslighting her into believing that she’s so desperate for a miracle that she’s become ‘delusional’ and is ‘highly imaginative’. But she knows for sure that his squeeze of the hand was the real deal; it was strong and assuring and sending a clear, unwavering message that he’d not only heard her pleas and requests, but was doing his best to acknowledge AND answer them. And now only one real challenge remains. Getting him to show the nurses and the doctors the same responses when they speak to him.

“This place is getting busy again,” Esme announces as she re-enters his room, her soiled yoga shorts and tank in hand; stuffing the latter into a near overflowing she’s been promising to take down the laundry room for over a week. “Remember how I was talking about all those rooms opening up? People getting shipped up to normal wards? Well, they’re full again.” Sighing, she gathers her damp hair in both hands and styles it into a haphazard bun; securing it with the elastic she keeps around one wrist. “A lot of pretty young people, too. I don’t what’s going on and how they’re getting so sick or so hurt, but…”

A barely audible grunt from across the room interrupts her mid-sentence. The anxiety is immediate; her stomach clenching and her jaw tightening as she tries to digest the never heard before sound. Any change of the ’norm’ brings about near panic; a fear that something different automatically means disaster. And her brows are knit together and her eyes are narrowed as she apprehensively glances over her shoulder.

His eyes open. Barely. The gaze is groggy. Confused. But steadily fixed upon her.

“Tyler?”

Another grunt. His eyes briefly closing before he raises a hand; trembling furiously as it reaches for the breathing tube.

“No! No! No!” Dropping her remaining belongings on the floor, she rushes to his bedside; fingers curling around his wrist. “Don’t touch that. You’ll yank it out. Hurt yourself. The nurse needs to do it for you. Can you see me? Hear me? Do you understand what I’m saying? Blink if you do.”

He obliges her request.

“What are you doing awake? What…?” Her words are cut off by a choked sob; one of pure shock and disbelief. And she wraps both arms around his neck and presses a kiss to his temple; tears spilling down her cheeks as she rests her head upon his shoulder. “You prick! Leave it to you to wait until I was out of the room!”

It takes tremendous effort and strength, but his hand comes to rest in the middle of her back; rubbing it in slow, smooth circles in an attempt to console her.

“You know how long I waited for this moment?” Pulling away, she lovingly ruffles his hair. “Almost six months! A half a year! I’ve thought about it every day. What it would be like when it happened. And what do you do? You go ahead and totally ruin it for me!”

He attempts a sorry. Words unable to get passed the tubes shoved down his throat.

“I’m just teasing you. Just giving you a hard time. Don’t try and talk, okay? Not until they get those things out of you. Do you know where you are?”

A small nod.

“Do you remember what happened? Do you know why you’re here?”

Another. Followed by heavy-lidded eyes surveying the room; brow furrowing at the sight of the various bedside machines and the wires attached to various parts of his body. And when he looks back at her there’s a mixture of emotions written on his face; a heavy dose of fear and concern.

“I know it’s a hell of a thing to wake up to. Being here. And I know you’re probably really confused right now. Your mind is probably all fuzzy. Nothing much is making sense, huh? You’re probably scared, too. I would be too.”

He raises a hand; knuckles brushing against her cheek before his arm once more falls heavily onto the bed.

“I’m okay,” she assures him, as she sinks down onto the edge of the bed and takes his hand in both of hers. “And so is Ovi. Nik’s had people with him ever since he got home. They follow him everywhere; keep a close eye on him. Just in case.”

His brow furrows as he regards her intently.

“I’m fine,” she stresses. “I was a bit banged up. Nothing serious. I’ve had a hell of a lot worse, believe me. I didn’t even need to spend the night here. Not as a patient, anyway. You did what you promised. You got Ovi out of there. You got him home. Safe and sound. It’s over. It’s all over. It’s been over for months now.”

Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling. Tears sparkling in his eyes.

“I know you’re probably really confused. You’ve probably got a lot of questions. But you’ve been here for six months. So have I. I wanted to make sure that you were taken care of. That no one would give up on you. And I knew this was going to happen. I knew you were going to fight your way back. That you weren’t ready to give up. You weren’t ready to leave.”

He shakes his head.

“The conceited part of me wants to say it’s all because of me. That I’m the reason you’re still here. That you made your way back just for me. But…”

His eyes find hers once more; hand squeezing hers as tight as his weakened body will allow.

“Sweet talker,” she chides, and leans in to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You try and rest, okay? I’m just going to go and call your nurse and she can contact your doctor or come and check you herself. Whatever she needs to do. I just…”

His grip tightens on her as she slips off the bed. The fear once more returning to his eyes.

“I’m not leaving, I just need to get your call button. It’s on the other side of the bed. I need to use it to get your nurse in here. Don’t worry…” Pushing a hand through his hair, she places her lips against his brow. “I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not EVER.”

*****

It seems so different now.

So foreign.

Almost uncomfortable.

It’s so quiet. All the bedside machines unplugged; dark and silent and shoved into a corner of the room. She had gotten so used to it; the hiss and the hums, the beeps and the clicks. The noises quickly becoming a part of her new existence; blending in with the chatter of the staff as they wandered the halls and the rattle of gurneys as they passed by the room. And she almost misses them; unaware of how familiar and routine they’d gotten until they suddenly ceased to exist. They had been a security blanket almost; something steady and constant that had signified life and hope and had kept her going at even her darkest and most difficult of moments.

He sleeps soundly; aided by powerful painkillers given through an IV line and fed to him through a programmed pump. She’d insisted on it; reminding them of the addiction issues that had been previously addressed and admitting -painfully- that he couldn’t be trusted to administer to himself. They’re hard things to accept; the powerful and all-consuming ties he has to both alcohol and Oxycontin. In Dhaka they’d briefly talked about it; he’d confessed to his addictions and admitted that he wanted to break free of their clutches. Getting clean was a priority now that he had someone in his life; he wanted to be rid of the worst of his vices, no matter how difficult it would be to walk away from them.

“You make me want to be a better man,” he’d announced, the sincerity in both his voice and his eyes had making her choke up. No one had ever given her a more beautiful compliment. Such honest and heartfelt words coming from someone like him; a phenomenally strong, seemingly fearless man weighed down by the enormity of his mistakes. Carrying around the burdens of guilt and grief and regret.

Not of that exists right now. He’s temporarily at peace; free of the monsters and the demons that have plagued him for years. His unassisted breathing slow and deep and rhythmic; his weakened and battered body trying to build whatever strength it can in order to begin the long, arduous road of healing. His skin is pale and the circles under his eyes dark and haunting; she’s already promised to get him out into the sunshine as soon as the doctors feel he’s up to it. He sleeps with his face turned towards her; unruly hair splayed out across his pillow and looking shades darker against the crisp white sheets. And there’s a slight smile curving his lips; perhaps feeling the tremendous relief that comes with walking through the darkest and deepest recesses of hell and living to tell about them.

Despite there still being a long and arduous road ahead, she feels as if a tremendous weight has been lifted off her shoulders; no longer concerned with deadlines and ultimatums and feeling an immense satisfaction at the doctors being proven wrong. And it had taken everything she had not to gloat when the primary care physician finally showed up to asses Tyler’s current physical and mental state and remove him from the machines. Feeling an immense sense of pride in him when he was able to answer -using nods or shakes of the head- basic questions regarding both his and her identity. Showing no signs of coma-induced amnesia; knowing her name and not only how they met, but how he ended up in the hospital in the first place. The line of questioning had been short and simple, but had immensely irritated him; the darkness in his eyes as he glared at the doctor gave a clear cut message: the interrogation was pointless, he wasn’t stupid, and he was simply tired of the other man’s shit.

The extubation hadn’t gone as smoothly as staff had hoped. What should have been simple and routine became a three ring circus when she was asked to leave the room; Tyler immediately panicking at the mere thought and his heart rate and blood pressure spiking to near dangerous levels as his fight or flight response kicked into high gear. Shockingly angry and strong for someone who’d been in a coma for half a year and only minutes before had appeared weak and docile. And with that the arguing and the threatening had began; Esme insisting that it was in his best interest if she was allowed to remain in the room where he could keep his eyes on her at the very least.

“He’s scared,” she’d informed them. “He’s scared and he’s confused. And I’m the one thing that’s been constant for the last six months. I’ve ALWAYS been here. He’s gotten used to that. What harm is it going to do if I hang around? It’ll help, if anything.”

For several minutes the bickering back and forth had continued. As had Tyler’s kicking and thrashing about in bed and the threats of “sedating him for everyone else’s safety.” She refused to let that happen; there was no need to drug him up when simply letting her stay by his side and hold his hand and talk him through it would more than suffice.

Her tenacity and stubbornness had been the victors in the end. And she’d held his hand in one of her own; her lips pressed against his ear as she talked him through the entire process and whispered words of comfort and reassurance. Telling him she wasn’t going ANYWHERE; there was nothing and no one that could possibly tear her away. Not now. Not ever.

******

Exhaustion sets in, coming on strong and fast. It’s aided by her newfound optimism and the fears she’s been able to shed, and she welcomes the chance to rest with open arms. Carefully prying open his fingers in order to slip her hand out of his; his grip surprisingly strong and fuelled by his fear that if he stops touching her, she’ll simply disappear. But he’s sleeping soundly and neither movement nor absence of touch disturbs him; not offering up a single flinch as he continues to alternate between lightly snoring and murmuring in his sleep. And kicking off her slippers, she leans back in her chair; drawing her oversized hoodie tighter around her body and then stretching out her legs and placing her feet on the mattress. Giving him just enough contact that if he does wake, he won’t immediately panic; her toes tucked securely underneath the back of his left thigh.

When she wakes, the sun has shifted position in the sky; beams streaming through the courtyard’s glass roof and casting shadows upon the lobby’s walls and floor. For what seems like several long, tedious minutes she fights disorientation; her weary brain struggling to identify and make sense of the sights and sounds that had been part of her life for half a year. Yawning loudly, she presses the heels of her palms into her blurry eyes; keeping them closed as her hands move to her shoulders and she massages at the tight, aching muscles.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She gives a small start; eyes rapidly flicking open and falling on the nurse that busies herself on the opposite side of the bed.

The younger woman gives a sheepish, apologetic smile. “I tried to be as quiet as possible. Sorry.”

“No need to be. It wasn’t you. I think my neck was crying out for mercy. I didn’t even realize you were here.” Esme frowns as concern sets in. She hates how quickly it can grab hold of her; the panic that comes with the fear of losing the one thing…the one person…that you truly DO love. Her life had changed half a year ago. Meeting someone who was just as damaged and tarnished as she was.

It could have gone so horribly wrong; two hurt and lonely people only making each other worse.

“Is he alright?” She attempts to keep her anxiety under control; the mere thought of him having a setback and ending up worse than before just too much to bear. While all her spoken and unspoken pleas and promises had been both accepted and answered, it’s been a nagging worry; a quick and sudden regression that sentences him to a life in a near -or full- vegetative state.

Even then, she'd stick by his side. Put her entire life on hold in an effort to improve his. And provide whatever care he needed. No matter how 'hands on'. “He’s doing just fine. Breathing well on his own; his numbers never drop below ninety-five percent.”

“And that’s good, right? Especially considering how long he needed that machine for? To already have numbers that high…”

“It’s excellent. Far better than anyone expected.”

“No one expected much from him, did they? And they sure as hell wouldn’t listen to me. I told them; that he was responding to my voice and when I tickled his palm and sometimes when I combed his hair. I knew what I was talking about. It wasn’t all in my head. I wasn’t hysterical or crazy like they said.”

“No. You most certainly weren’t.”

“You were the only that believed me. That didn’t think I was nuts.”

“You fought with too much passion and too much conviction to be anything BUT truthful. I could tell in your voice and in your eyes; you truly believed what you were saying.”

“I may not have known Tyler very long, but I know that he wouldn’t give up without a fight. Maybe before he met me, he would have. But we talked about the future. OUR future. There was no way he was giving up on them. On me. On US.”

“I wish all of the patients here at someone like you in their corner. I like to think that if they did, they’d heal a lot faster; knowing that someone is fighting for them and making sure they get nothing but the best. Do you know how many have no one? Whose families have just given up and stopped coming altogether?”

“I can’t even imagine being that way. Just abandoning someone. Especially someone I love. How do you live with yourself? How do you sleep at night? Pretending as if they don’t even exist anymore?”

“I don’t understand it myself.”

“It’s just so sad. The thought of them being all alone. No one caring about them. I know it’s not easy; seeing someone at their worst and not knowing if they’re going to make it or not. It’s hard; to lose someone you care about. But ignoring them and pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make it all go away.”

“And the guilt afterwards? The regret? If they DO die?”

“I couldn’t live with myself. I wasn’t going to do that to Tyler; just leave him here and go on with my life. I didn’t want him to be alone. He deserves so much better than that. And if he was going to die, I was going to make sure he had someone here with him.”

“I assumed you’d been with him for a long time. Considering how hard you fought. How you wouldn’t back down.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense. The way I am. So soon after meeting someone. But I know how I feel. About him. And I know it isn’t wrong. Because nothing wrong could ever feel this right.”

“There’s no rules. No time limit. Whether it’s weeks, months or years that you’ve known someone. And don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

“They don’t even try anymore,” Esme laughs, and leans back in her chair. “They know it’s a lost cause. My family gave up a long time ago.”

For several minutes they go co-exist in silence; Esme watching as the nurse tends to replacing IV and catheter bags, resetting the timer on the pain pump, and using an iPad to jot down the various numbers in regard to his vitals. And she’s beginning to doze off once more when the younger woman’s voice captures her attention; her head snapping up and her eyes flickering open.

“He’s got quite the hold on you there,” the nurse nods down at the bed; Tyler’s hand covering one of Esme’s feet in a surprisingly strong grip.

She wonders when he’d done it. If it was a subconscious moment while he was sleeping or if he’d woken up briefly and intentionally took hold of her. “He’s protective. Even while he’s like this. Just wants to keep an eye on me. Make sure nothing bad happens. Or I don’t get away.”

“I don’t think he has to worry about that. Especially that last part. You know, if you want to get out of here for a bit, I don’t mind sticking around. This was my last patient for these rounds. So if you want to go grab a tea or something to eat or eve get some fresh air…”

“I don’t want to leave him alone. If he wakes up and I’m not here, he might freak out. He might…”

“He won’t be alone. I’ll be right here. Sitting with him. I don’t mind spending my break here. You need some time to yourself. Even if it’s just to wander around a bit. Feel the sun on your face. The worst is over; he’s done his time in hell and come out the other side. You can breathe again.”

She chews on her bottom lip; considering the opportunity that’s been presented to her. And sighing, she turns her teary eyes towards the younger woman. “Please take care of him.”

“Of course. He’s in good hands.”

Giving a nod of approval and a smile of appreciation, she stands; pushing her chair away before approaching the side of the bed. Running her fingers through her hair before holding it back off his forehead; lips meeting warm, smooth skin.

“I’ll be right back,” she promises, a fingertip lightly trailing down the scar that inhabits the left side of his brow. “There’s nothing to worry about, okay? I won’t be gone long. I’m not leaving. You don’t EVER have to worry about that.”

#Tyler and Esme series #In a Heartbeat #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Tyler Rake fanfic #Extraction fan fiction #Extraction fan fic #Chris Hemsworth #Tyler Rake #Extraction 2 #Extraction #Tyler Rake x OFC #Esme Drummond #Esme Rake

[abishekmuses]

Circadian Nightmare

In my childhood, whenever I used to get cranky, irritated or complained about something/ demanded something, my grandma would tell my mum "he's hungry. Give him something to eat".

I'd indignantly protest and throw an even bigger tantrum at being told what my problem was versus the thing I was saying was my problem. Jeez tough kid I must have been to raise.

Likewise, whenever people told me to "go to bed on time" or "eat my meals on time", I'd dismiss this sort of stuff as banal. "I have bigger concerns that these mundane nothings that everyone concerns themselves with, I'd think condescendingly."

Today, I realise just how much of human behaviour, emotional balance and mental health depends on keeping our biological cycles regulated. I had a super regular schedule throughout late february and March. Staying up all night on MSR (8th march) and two days later for the Velliangiri trek messed up my cycle.

I lost my circadian balance, so to speak, and found myself struggling with practically every aspect of my life. My emotions started spilling all over the place - not pretty!

The last few days, I've been patiently trying to work with my damaged routine trying to get it back to where it was - but so far, I'm failing. I've been staying up nights and sleeping till afternoons.

Today, I realised that this is unfortunately how I've lived most of my adult life. No wonder I had such a torrid time of it! Jeez! For all you intellectuals out there who sneer at the idea of being limited by biology - please do deign to orient your circadian rhythms.

I understand this might be maddeningly obvious to most people who aren't as thick as I am but there's got to be someone who is stupid and smart in the same way I was/am - so i thought I'd write this down.

Now I'm curious about this - why do some people struggle so much to maintain well-regulated circadian rhythms? Where does it start? I know the theory about too much electronics etc - but I think that's not it -I had a good thing going; Lost it; And I seem to struggle with getting back into it - why is that? It's not like I suddenly started binging on screen time after those two nights.

What are some hacks to get back into a regulated sleep-wake cycle? As I write this, i'm filled with so much regret - a tragic sense of loss almost - I wish I'd fixed this stuff earlier - like way earlier. It's so sad to find out that the reasons for why your life disappointed you in some of these "big" ways were actually so simple and workaday. Oh well, retrospect is a toxic seductress - won't go there!

Hopefully, my yoga practice will help me get on top of this issue that's been such an unnamed nemesis in my life.

I want to continue thinking about this topic just to drill it into my skull that my grandma was right - I'm probably hungry or under-slept or tired - it's not the socialists that are the problem. it's not ocean pollution. It's not people around me friggin' breathing audibly!

I want to end with a phrase that's cracked me up to no end recently - it's from Jonny Miller of Nervous System Mastery - "Stay regulated out there!"

#sleepcycle #stayregulated #biorhythms #lifelessons

[spasiannrd]

while my mental is getting better... i just had a pretty big breakdown.

this a long and sappy post. if you choose to read it, thanks for caring even in the slightest. otherwise, please continue on enjoying this lovely and chaotic place. 💜

i havent really had anyone outside my family and therapist to confide in these past few years. so its hard to confide in anything now. dont get me wrong, talking to a few of you about the struggles help and it means the world to me that someone out there cares. you know who you are and just know while i dont respond, i am grateful. it is hard though because i really am someone who needs physical love to feel comfort. hugging, hand holding, wiping the tears off eachothers cheeks when they fall. you know the small silent things you share and do to express your care and love for someone. ive yearning that so much as of late and it kills me that ive pushed away so many people that could be that for me right now. besides my family and a few close friends no one knows that my grandfather just passed and i havent been able to come up with the words to talk about how ive been feeling until now. (just as a side note we really need to stop fucking normalizing boys/men bottling up their emotions... this is a whole other rant i can go on but back to it.) i just came down from weeping and feeling so horrible for not being enough of a person for him. but i realize that its not the full truth. sure i have regrets but ive done so much good and try to do so much good. thanks to years of therapy and help from medications, i can understand these emotions better, while im not fully there; its good. i just wish i had the understanding i have now sooner. so i couldve been more present when my grandfather was alive and well. i wish that i couldve had the chance to listen to all his stories about his past instead of hearing about it post-mortem. this man was the nicest and most patient man you couldve ever met and i really dont know where id be without him. he was the father figure i didnt know i needed when my own father didnt know how to stay. he had so much patience when i spent most of my childhood idealizing a man who didnt know how to love his son. im so grateful that he rose my mother to be the best mother a son couldve ever asked for. i cherish the knowledge and the wisdom he bestowed upon me. i am so grateful that in the past two years i spent as much time with him as i could. with every chance i got i made a point to give him a hug goodbye and make sure i waved before walking out of sight when leaving. im glad that the beautiful traits he had are in me and i can carry on his gentle nature. i will forever miss him and wish he was still with us so he could finish the things he had planned. but life is not fair and we cannot prepare for the end all the time. so i just hope that in his final weeks, days, and moments we made him feel loved. i hope that wherever he is now that he is at peace. i love you grandpa and thank you for everything.

#i miss and forever will miss you #mine #spasiannrd #spilled ink #late nights

[writerpeach]

Plain & Simple

Read on AFF

Read on AO3

---

Exhaustion was the only thing you knew of late.

Your body never got used to working sixteen hours a day, surrendering to the mental punishment as you finished out the work week from hell. Just a few feet from your car to the doorway, yet it felt like you were about to walk ten miles to enter your apartment.

It took three tries to enter your pass code, your key lock timing out after being too tired to enter the final number. Sluggishly you entered, almost collapsing on the ground with the door shut behind you, barely having enough energy to slip your shoes off before crashing on the couch.

“Welcome back!”

The two words were scarcely enough to keep you from passing out. The owner of said words appearing in your view was a sight for sore eyes known as Son Hyejoo. The perfect mixture of cute and sexy, rushing to leap into your lap like a pet gone all day waiting for your return.

“I missed you, daddy,” she said, her gaze firmly fixed upon you, batting her long eyelashes. The weight of her body on your lap slowly released a week’s worth of built-up tension.

“Missed you too, Hye. Sorry I’ve been gone so long,” you said, using whatever remaining energy you had to pull her in for a kiss, tasting the unique sweetness on her lips.

“Don’t be sorry. I know you’ve been busy,” Hyejoo said, resting her forehead against yours. “Do you think about me at work, daddy?”

“Of course, baby.”

“What do you think about?”

“All the things I get to do to you when I get home,” you said.

“Like what, daddy?”

“Ripping your panties off so I can see your pretty little pussy. Pulling your hair, pounding you from behind, spanking your tight ass so hard I can see my handprints on you.”

“Fuck, daddy, that makes me wet,” Hyejoo said, biting her lip deeply.

“Does it, baby?”

“Yes, daddy. Do you get hard thinking about me at work?” Hyejoo asked.

“I do, baby. I’m always too busy to do anything about it.”

“You poor thing. Just throbbing in your pants all day just thinking about ruining your princess?”

“Yes, baby. It drives me crazy.”

“I think about you all day too, daddy. You've been gone so long today…”

“Have you been touching yourself, Hye?” you asked.

“Yes, but I didn’t cum yet. It was hard, I spent the entire morning just riding your pillow, it still smells like you. I was so close but didn’t finish, just kept edging myself to you, daddy…”

“Good girl. You must be so needy and desperate for me, aren’t you, Hye?” you asked, caressing her cheek as she leaned into your touch.

“Yes, daddy. I need to cum really bad…”

"I was just going to go to bed when I got home."

"You can't...”

"Why not, Hye?"

"I'm going to keep you up, daddy."

“You better hurry then. My bed looks awfully cozy right now.”

“I know just the thing that will wake you up.” Hyejoo’s triangle lips curled into a smirk while she began slowly undressing, removing her clothes one by one until her nude form was on your lap. Every inch of pale bare skin was yours to be feasted upon, and as always you couldn’t find a focal point— whether it be her full creamy thighs, her huge pale breasts or any other part of her scrumptious body you wanted to mark up.

“I’m suddenly full of energy,” you said, the sight of Hyejoo’s nakedness reinvigorating you back to life, her lips morphing into a beautiful smile.

“I’m all yours, daddy,” Hyejoo said, lifting her arms over her head to give you the perfect view. You could feel your pants tightening while your eyes roamed her body, feeling the silkiness of her thighs as you caressed them. Her large breasts became your next target, trailing your hands up her warm body and giving them a gentle squeeze, fingertips kneading her soft flesh to grab as much as you could.

“Daddy…” Hyejoo whined, your fingertips squeezing as much of her tits as possible.

“Yes, Hye?”

“Taste them, please. They’ve missed your mouth so much.”

“Not yet, baby,” you replied, massaging her perfect breasts, thumbs flicking over her sensitive rosy nipples. Her nubs quickly hardened, toying with them in response. You pinched them both, tugging at them playfully, rolling them in between your fingers before moving back to squeezing her mounds.

“Daddy, please!” Hyejoo begged, the playful assault on her nipples sending her senses overboard. You gave her just an ounce of what she wanted, swirling your tongue around her nipples several times before pulling back, pressing her breasts together to create a divine cavern you licked up and down.

“I’m really wet. Daddy, please,” Hyejoo continued begging, her eyes filled with deep desire.

“Be patient, baby. I didn’t tell you to touch yourself, did I?” you said, staring up at the need in her round eyes, planting your lips on her bare chest everywhere but her breasts, kissing delicate skin in several spots.

“I couldn’t help myself,” she pouted, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. Hyejoo looked so damn adorable that you couldn’t help but give in, squeezing her ample breasts one more before diving in. Your lips hungrily latched onto Hyejoo’s swollen nipples as she tilted her head back and moaned into your ears, your hands cupping her heavy breasts to devour them like the mouthwatering meal they were.

“That feels so good, daddy,” Hyejoo moaned, cupping the back of your head and pressing your face firmly into her tits, smothering you with her delicious cleavage. You felt all troubles from the week melting away as you rested between her soft pillowy breasts, wanting to live trapped in between them.

“Missed these tits so much, Hye,” you said, giving in to being suffocated by her chest. “It’s all I think about at work.”

“They’ve missed you too, daddy. I can play with them when you’re not around, but it’s not the same.”

Released from the clutches of cleavage you returned your lips to her rosy buds, burying your face in her breasts and nibbling on them, earning sweet whiny moans for your efforts.

“Daaaaddy…” Hyejoo whined, letting her eyelids shut tight. “You must love my tits so much, your mouth feels so good on them, don’t stop, daddy, please.”

“I would never, Hye,” you said, maintaining your oral assault on her breasts, tasting the sweat and lust on them. The combination of teasing licks, slurping and playful bites Drove Hyejoo crazy.

“I really need your cock,” Hyejoo whispered in your ear, nibbling on your earlobe. “Need it so badly.”

“Where do you need it, baby?”

“Down my throat. I need it to gag me, I need to choke on it, I want my eyes to water. I’m so hungry for your cock, daddy, please feed me.”

"Come get what’s yours then.”

With an eager smile Hyejoo hopped off your lap, lowering to her knees and undid your pants, dragging them down to your ankles alongside your boxers. Your unleashed shaft throbbed in her delicate hand, released from its fabric restraints as she wrapped her fingers around it, stroking every single inch from base to tip.

“You’re really hard for me, daddy. It must be so difficult waiting all day for me to suck your cock, isn’t it?” Hyejoo asked. She licked up your length, swirling her wet tongue around your swollen sensitive tip to lap up every leaking drop, planting kisses up your throbbing shaft in between.

“You have no idea, baby.”

Hyejoo’s needy lips parted with your shaft, filling her mouth and taking every inch inside, gagging herself willingly. You rested your hands on both sides of her head, letting her do most of the work yet encouraging deep movements. Her hands held onto your thighs as she fucked her own mouth, choking and gagging on your throbbing cock without hesitation, keeping her throat stuffed while bobbing her head furiously, doing her best to pleasure you.

“Fuck, Hye, just like that, “ you encouraged, staring into her watery eyes while she kept your length deep inside her warm throat, gargling on hard flesh hungrily and leaving a trail of wet messy saliva covering your shaft.

“Good girl, “ you purred, watching her rapid movements, her soft lips slurping and gliding up and down your shaft with ease. You let her do most of the work but ever so often forced her head down your base, holding her there as long as she could manage, her cute nose pressed flush against your stomach.

“Do you want to move to the bedroom, Hye?” you asked, withdrawing your grip from her head, letting her move her lips off your messy shaft with a loud gasp for air.

“No, daddy, you’re tired,” she replied, shaking her head and vigorously jerking off your cock, spitting on it even more. “Let me do the work.”

Her determined eyes were impossible to ignore and you sank back into the couch, awaiting what she had planned next. More drool spilled out of her lips, coating your shaft even more, glistening in the lights. Hyejoo looked into your eyes with a big grin, slipping your shaft in between her huge pillowy breasts and trapping it between her cleavage, squeezing them tightly.

“Oh god, Hye,” you moaned, the sight of your shaft being smothered by silky flesh usurping your senses as she began grinding her chest against your pelvis, creating perfect friction.

“I know this is what daddy really likes,” Hyejoo said, spitting repeatedly between her cleavage to keep your cock lubricated, cupping her breasts to prevent your shaft from escaping from the warm comfort. You loved every moment. Unable to control your moans while watching your cock disappearing in between Hyejoo’s heavenly mounds, soft flesh surrounded your throbbing shaft, every strike of pleasure shooting up your spine, sending intoxicating bliss from head to toe.

“I love hearing you moan for me, daddy,” Hyejoo said, smiling widely, keeping her breasts firmly wrapped around your cock. “It makes me even wetter knowing how good I’m making you feel.”

“You’re doing such a good job, fuck,” you said, trying to keep a trace of awareness while melting into the couch at the intense ecstasy Hyejoo’s perfect breasts were causing.

“You’re not going to cum yet, are you, daddy?” Hyejoo asked, tiling her head sideways, licking your tip every time it reappeared from her cavern.

“I might if you keep doing this. I’ve been so built up thinking about you, baby.”

“I better take you inside me then, daddy,” Hyejoo said, using her breasts to relish more pleasure out of your cock.

Hyejoo straddled you once more, wrapping her full creamy thighs around your waist, wasting no time in getting straight to the point. Lining herself up carefully her hips slammed down, sinking down and impaling her dripping heat, hungry wet flesh eagerly swallowing up your needy cock.

“Fuck, daddy fills me so well,” Hyejoo said, not hesitating nor needing to adjust. Her body moved with purpose to find a steady rhythm.

She gave herself in completely, resting her hands on your chest while you reciprocated and grabbed her wide hips, her increased pace strengthening your willpower to not immediately bust inside her.

Wet warm flesh wrapped around your shaft, demanding you be kept inside Hyejoo’s tight body, clenching around every throbbing inch while you watched her ride you with renewed fervor. Your hands explored her body while her beautiful breasts bounced, hypnotizing you with every ripple, the pleasure in your bodies increasing tenfold.

“You’re throbbing so much for me, did you need my pussy this much?” Hyejoo asked with a hint of a smirk, returning her expression with a slap to her backside, earning a loud gasp.

“Only as much as your pretty little cunt needed my cock,” you replied back, exchanging smiles at your mutual need for one another.

There was something beautiful about the way Hyejoo rode your cock, every inch splitting her insides at the perfect angle to fuck herself with. You were more than content to enjoy the show, keeping your eyes glued to her bouncing breasts and slapping her warm cheeks after each stroke.

“D-daddy, I’m getting close,” Hyejoo said, showing surprising resolve to not cream on your cock immediately due to her own orgasm prevention, each bounce teetering towards the edge and contorting her face in pleasure.

“Cum for me, Hye,” you whispered into her ear, your fingers kneading her plump backside, slapping the tender skin.

Hyejoo’s deep lip bite signaled the end was in reach, alternating spanks on her rear to help chase her release, the rapidly pulsating walls of her pussy and the prominent wetness soaking your crotch grew by the second.

“Ah, I’m cumming, d—” Hyejoo could barely finish her sentence before her climax shook her body like an earthquake, wrapping her arms around your neck and held on tight, desperate to anchor the tidal wave of an orgasm. Her eyes momentarily shut while her toes curled and back arched high, gyrating her hips to grant herself as much pleasure, trying to extend her high for as long as possible.

“F-fuck, daddy,” Hyejoo breathlessly said, barely able to open her eyes back up. “You made me cum so hard on your cock.”

“I know, Hye. Good girl.”

“Your turn now,” she said with widening eyes, words that couldn’t be agreed with more. No longer did you feel zapped of energy, your second wind coming just as soon as you were. You picked Hyejoo’s frame up and placed her on the couch still buried inside her warmth.

“Gonna fill you up, Hye. I’ve been dying to do this all day,” you said, looking deeply into her glazed-over eyes, thrusting carelessly, pistoning your hips with desperation to earn your release.

“Cum inside me, please please daddy,” Hyejoo begged, wrapping her legs tightly around your waist, locking you in place. “Breed your little slut, drain every drop inside my tight little hole. Please, daddy, give me everything you have, fill my womb with your seed.”

Finding the crook of her neck you sucked harshly on her skin to leave a mark, (something Yerim wasn’t going to like but you didn’t care), your balls tightened with each thrust, spearing yourself into her wet dripping flesh.

“Gonna breed you so fucking full of my seed, Hye, fill that pretty pussy up, ��� you growled, hips frantically moving, smacking into her heavenly flesh. "You're all mine."

Burying yourself as deep as you could go you moaned loudly as your throbbing shaft erupted hot cum into her tight pussy, thick creamy spurts flooding her walls, milking every drop from you until she was filled to the brim.

Coming down from your high you kept the movements going, sending your load into the depths of her womb where it belonged, using shallow thrusts until you had no more energy to move.

“Fuck, baby. You really drained me,” you said, gasping for breath, still weary from the exertion.

“That was the point, daddy. I’m happy I made you cum so much. It’s so warm and thick, I want it to stay inside me forever.”

“Me too, Hye,” you breathlessly said, giving her one chaste kiss while your sweaty bodies stayed tangled.

“Don’t pull out, daddy. Stay like this.”

“Of course, Hye,” you said, running a hand through her hair. You were both too tired to move so this just made it easier. One more kiss on her forehead before you drifted off into the night.

#loona smut #hyejoo smut #loona #hyejoo #reader insert #male reader #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

#written with love - ar #the one student was bkg <3 #all of my writing always turn out longer than intended u_u #might start adding wc #aizawa ily u can call me clingy i do not care #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa headcanons #aizawa scenario #aizawa shouta headcanons #aizawa shouta x gn reader #aizawa x gn reader #aizawa angst #aizawa fluff #aizawa imagine #bnha x reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #bnha angst #bnha fluff #mha x reader #mha x gender neutral reader #mha angst #mha fluff

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin and the Jedi Babies: Where There’s a Whill, There’s a Windu

Context: original post, chrono

(Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka) and have been officially adopted by Anakin.)

----------------------

“You’re attached.”

“You’re just now noticing?”

Master Windu eyes him for a few long moments, and then joins him on the ground. Anakin can’t help but smirk. There’s something gratifying about having respect from the man, in this life.

“The other members of the council are concerned.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am, but for other reasons,” Windu says.

Anakin doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t even respond for a long minute. He just looks out over the Room of a Thousand Fountains, spread out below them like hundreds of jungles pieced together in a jigsaw of flora. It’s been his favorite room in the Temple since he was a child, and it’s always overwhelming.

“Most of them have accepted that you adopted them because of Mandalorian customs, and that you stayed where you were due to the will of the Force,” Windu continues. “But they are… uncomfortable with how blatantly your attachments show.”

“Mandalorians are loud and refuse shame. It rubbed off.”

“You said you would kill for these children.”

“I’m their father. That’s kind of expected.”

Windu’s expression is tired. A little tired of stress, but mostly tired of Anakin’s shit. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Do I?”

“Skywalker.”

“No, I’m serious. I need you to spell this out. I’ve had a million slightly-contradicting lectures on this topic, and I’ve been told pretty clearly that I misinterpreted a solid half of them. If you want a constructive conversation, you can’t be vague. I’m thirty-three years old and a father of two, Master Windu, so yes, I’m attached. What you mean by that word is going to change where this conversation goes.”

It’s gratifying to see the Master actually think it over.

“Ylliben’s tattoos have been causing the most recent stir,” Windu finally says. “They nearly all relate to family, whether new or old, and the symbolism is concerning to those who are already upset about the Mandalorian upbringing. They worry that he’ll remain too tied to people he grew up with, and unable to maintain neutrality in future diplomatic ventures, or at risk of a fall if one of the people he’s seen fit to memorialize is injured or killed. The assume a similar state of mind may be applicable to your daughter and yourself, especially given the off-color jokes about how possessive your children are about each other.”

“They’re worried about emotional immaturity,” Anakin summarizes. He offers a wan, unimpressed grin. “They do realize he’s fourteen, right? Nobody’s emotionally stable at fourteen. The hormones are out of whack.”

“I’m aware,” Windu grinds out. “And I’m aware that your histories, of war and all such things, make your ties much stronger, but you can see why the Council worries, especially those who are wary of the memories your children carry but won’t explain. I’m the only one you’ve told, Skywalker.”

“Plo and Depa know.”

“Plo and Depa aren’t on the council.”

“Yet.”

“Skywalker.”

He relents. “It’s not about Mandalore, Master Windu. It’s about Tatooine.”

Windu lets that sit for a few moments, and then sighs. “I don’t know enough about Tatooine to parse that.”

“Shmi and I are former slaves,” Anakin says, as bluntly as he can. “I was freed at nine, she at eleven, and for all that we are free, we’re not freeborn. We were born slaves, and raised slaves, and we were freed too late to forget that life. The way we think is always going to be affected by the way we grew up. That applies to all sentients, more or less, but it’s… the slave mentality is completely at odds with Jedi teachings, because Jedi teachings can only be taught in a safe environment.”

Windu nods slowly, and says, “That does make sense, but it’s… forgive me, but that’s why we don’t normally take children older than four.”

“From the perspective of teaching cultural values, that makes sense,” Anakin allows. “Teaching a Jedi child that’s cared for with communal resources that they do not need material things to be happy is fine; trying to convince a slave child of the same, someone who grew up being told they do not deserve material things, and that their owner can take anything at any time, including family? I lived that life, trying to adjust to ascetic Jedi values that coincided poorly with slave rules. I know exactly how poorly that transition can go when the person caring for the child doesn’t know how to handle the points of conflict.”

“Do you regret joining the Jedi?” Windu asks.

Anakin shakes his head. “My Jedi master, bless him, cared, and tried very hard, but he wasn’t ready to handle a kid like me and in hindsight, I know that. He needed grief counseling, and I needed therapy, and neither of us was getting it. I don’t… I don’t believe anyone in the Temple would have known how to handle a kid like me.”

“But you don’t regret it.”

“I was meant to be a Jedi,” Anakin says, as firmly as he can without getting unnecessarily bitchy about it. “My struggles with the Code aside, I was meant to be here. But the Temple doesn’t have any resources for children who come older, and I think… I think you do need that.”

“You just outlined why a child can’t follow the Code if they come from a different enough background,” Windu says.

Anakin shakes his head. “No, that’s not—I think a kid like me can learn to be a Jedi, if a little unconventional, if they’re taught correctly. The desperation to cling to anyone and anything you have can be unlearned. It takes time and effort, but it’s possible. Soka and Ben are good at balancing Tatooine care with Jedi control. If you talk to Ben, you get an entire philosophical breakdown about it, but I’m more concerned with the child psychology, because that’s what could have broken me.”

Windu frowns. “You’re building up to something.”

“I think the Jedi need programs for children found older who can’t become full Jedi,” Anakin asserts. “Even those who cannot reconcile what they absorbed growing up with the Code and Jedi tradition… they, we, need guidance. The Council tried to reject me for being too old, and now that I’m grown I understand why, but… Master Windu, what do you think would have happened to me if I hadn’t had my Master to fight for me, and had been turned away?”

“We’d have looked into placing you back with your mother and, upon finding out that she was still enslaved, secured her freedom,” Master Windu says. “Qui-Gon Jinn had taken responsibility for you, and thus you were a ward of the Temple until such a time as you were safe again. It would have been cruel to keep you from your mother if we were not to raise you a Jedi, and crueler still to allow you to return to slavery.”

“And you think I’d have been safe with her?” Anakin asks. He needs Master Windu to understand this. “You think that would have ended well?”

“You don’t?”

“Ventress,” Anakin says. “Maul. Aurra Sing, even.”

Windu considers that. He looks across the grand, green room of the garden, and finally speaks. “You think you’d have been found and corrupted by a Sith.”

“I’d already helped Naboo win a battle. I was a powerful child with no support system in this respect, eager to please,” Anakin says. “Ventress and Maul both got twisted into Sith Apprentices. Aurra Sing was just a bounty hunter, but… even if the Jedi had never found me, and the Sith remained unaware, do you think I’d have ended up better than Sing? Or would the pressures of slavery have led to my Fall anyway, eventually slaughtering my owner, the Hutts, the entire system of Tatooine’s hells?”

Windu rubs a hand over his forehead. “I understand what you’re getting at.”

“It’s not just me,” Anakin says, as carefully as he can. “Even without the Sith, there are plenty of Force-Sensitive children in terrible situations that are liable to Fall just because of how power is wielded by those at the bottom. Refusing to take on students who are already at risk… the Jedi are meant to monitor Force users to prevent Sith and other dark-aligned people from harming the galaxy. It’s one of our primary duties. If the Jedi are allowing darksiders to rise just because of an age limit…”

“I get it,” Windu says, just a little aggressive. “I understand. Give me a minute.”

Anakin tries to wait. He’s older now, he can do that. He can be patient.

He tries to convince himself that it’s true.

“You have a point,” Master Windu finally allows. “And with the knowledge that the Sith are out there, still, it’s a more salient point than most would think. The EduCorps already has a subdivision for teaching meditative techniques to low-level force users who need to learn shielding but aren’t sensitive enough to be Jedi, or are just too old, but I see your point about encouraging a program for powerful Force-Sensitives that aren’t discovered early enough to integrate into the community in full.”

“And a more comprehensive Search pattern for the Outer Rim?” Anakin suggests. He shrugs at the look he gets. “What? You’ve seen my midicount. I was on Tatooine for almost a decade, and the only reason anyone found me was that Qui-Gon had to crash a ship in the middle of nowhere. I’m sure the Force led him to me, given all the coincidences, but that’s still a solid nine years that nobody did, despite how I apparently ‘shine like the sun’ or whatever.”

“Humble.”

“The last time I took a midichlorian test on a portable counter, it literally broke the device. That’s not arrogance, that’s just absurd.”

Windu looks exhausted by the comment. Anakin can’t bring himself to feel too bad about it.

“What about Jedha?” Anakin suggests instead. “Jedi find the kids, but if they’re too old to be Jedi, we could coordinate with one of the temples at Jedha to see about having them raised in the traditions of the Whills? They’re a little less orthodox, aren’t they?”

“In some respects,” Master Windu says. “More constrained in others, but… it’s a possibility. Most of the overlooked children, yourself included, are from parts of the Outer Rim that aren’t part of the Republic, Skywalker.”

Anakin shrugs. “And many of them would have been happy to be found and collected by a Jedi, even if they couldn’t become Jedi. Not the Dathomiri, since they’ve got their own thing going on, but… from what I know about Ventress, she actually did have a Jedi Master before the situation on Rattatak became… what’s the word… untenable? He died and she was left alone, and she’d been a slave already and it just… did not end well for her. But that was a planet overrun by pirates and warlords, and would have been approved as a planet the Jedi could help without it being a weird colonialism thing… if the Senate weren’t made up of cheapskates, at least.”

“Skywalker.”

“My name isn’t actually a reprimand, you know.”

“You’re not supposed to just say that,” Windu groans, running a hand over his face. “The Senate’s choice in funding is not optimal, but insulting them in that way, even in private—”

“They’re assholes,” Anakin says, and doesn’t let his humor show. “Except my late wife, but she’s not part of the Senate in this time, so I feel no shame in accusing the entire shitshow of being cheapskates.”

Windu looks about ready to push him off the ledge.

“You’re never allowed to go on diplomatic missions, are you?” Windu mutters.

“Unless it’s to Mandalore,” Anakin clarifies. “Also, never send me to Tatooine. Ever. Please. I kriffing hate that planet.”

“I’m going to assume you have plans to kill a Hutt if we ever send you to—”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Windu sighs. “I’ll discuss this with the Council, see how they feel about reaching out to Jedha for your suggestion regarding the Whills.”

“And you’ll tell them not to worry about my kids?”

“Skywalker, they are never going to stop worrying about your family,” Windu tells him.

“That’s fair.”

#Anakin Skywalker #Mace Windu #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Jedha #Jedi #Phoenix Posts #Anakin and the Jedi Babies

[anonnie-in-wonderland]

Gilded Gambit

Summary: Her whole life, Jamie has been comfortable and well taken care of, the loved hybrid of a well off family. Until the day when she’s taken away from the only family she’s known, beaten and left for dead on the doorstep of a mysterious organization that might as well be the hybrid equivalent of the mob. A crime syndicate that ultimately wants to force revolution onto society. And they go by the name Bangtan Sonyeondan.

(Hybrid AU, Mafia AU, Slowburn, enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers)

Rating: M

Pairings: Hybrid!BTSxBTS, OT7xFem!Hybrid!OC/Reader

Part 1 Part 2

Author’s Note: This is a crosspost from AO3; I am the one who posted it on AO3 and it is my story!

Jamie sat patiently, hands in her lap, as she watched Ae-Ri, who was busy examining herself in the full length bedroom mirror. Her owner used both hands to toss her soft curls back over her shoulders, strutting left and right, stopping to cock her hip and toss a leg behind her.

She pouted cutely at her reflection to check the application of her lipstick and smoothed a hand down the slit at her thigh. Finally, she turned her rear end partially toward the mirror and smiled in approval. All the while, Jamie waited, knowing that when Ae-Ri was ready for her final opinion, she would ask. One full twirl and she was ready, beaming in the hybrid’s direction. “Well? Hot or not?”

Even without her sharp sense of smell, the air was tinged with the bubbling excitement radiating off the young woman. “I think you already know the answer to that. He’s going to have a hard time picking his jaw up off the floor.”

Pleased, Ae-Ri danced over to her mahogany vanity, doing final touch ups to her makeup and collecting her Balenciaga handbag. “Thank you~” she cooed, “This is the third date, and things are going pretty well. I want to really reel him in now.” There was no way she could fail to do that, dressed in a stunning midnight blue, strapless chiffon gown that undoubtedly cost a few million won. Standing there in strappy heels Jamie still had trouble balancing in at times, Gwan Ae-Ri really was a vision. Being rich, charming and intelligent didn’t hurt either.

”Where’s it going to be tonight?” Jamie asked casually, wondering if it was somewhere they had ever been with Ae-Ri’s parents.

“Satellite!” Ae-Ri practically squealed, “You know that exclusive club on top of the hotel in Mapo-gu that I’ve wanted to check out for months?”

”You might have told me a time or two.” The hybrid replied lightly. Mentally, she scoffed, ‘or twelve...’

”I swear Jamie, he might be it for me.” Ae-Ri continued to gush, heading for the door. Given that Jamie had been around Ae-Ri for years, the girls being raised together, the hybrid was a little stunned to hear that. Ae-Ri was the only child of diplomats, and spoiled rotten to say the least. She was use to the best, and hard to impress. Jamie could still remember the multiple times during her teenage years her owner had nearly caused a scandal, sneaking into clubs while underaged (almost getting caught during one of those excursions if not for a quick coverup), dating some classic bad boys she would somehow meet and generally being a typical reckless teenager.

Now at almost twenty-four, she had calmed down, though she was still fiercely independent and outspoken, not at all the demure daughter of a diplomat who would be easy to snag as a trophy wife. There was still very much a bit of a wild streak there, if one bothered to look. “Don’t keep him waiting too long. Isn’t he supposed to be picking you up any minute?” As if on cue, a phone buzzed, and Ae-Ri whipped out of her bag with bulging eyes.

”Oh, you’re right. That’s him now. You keep better tabs on my engagements than I do.” She giggled. Quickly walking over to the four-poster bed, she bent lightly and mimed kissing both Jamie’s cheeks, a habit she had picked up since spending a summer in the Campania region of Italy. “Now, you know I’ll be back late, so don’t wait up, okay. And of course you know eomma and appa aren’t even in the country so it’ll just be you.”

”And the entire rest of the staff.” Jamie rolled her eyes playfully.

”Yes, them too.” Ae-Ri nodded, shooting off a text message with one thumb. “Busy evening planned without me?”

“Please,” Jamie lounged back on her owner’s bed, made but still covered in rejected outfits she had yet to put back in the closet. “I’ll probably see if Soobin’s free and then we’ll make some good snacks and catch up on the series we were binging.”

”Okay,” Ae-Ri chuckled, finally looking ready to leave. She wagged her finger, winking, “No wild parties though!”

All Jamie could do was laugh at the thought of it. Compared to Ae-Ri she was practically antisocial. Any parties she attended were because she was dragged along. “Get out of here.”

Blowing one final kiss, Ae-Ri made her exit, leaving Jamie alone in the lavish bedroom.

🐾

Comfortable, Jamie leaned back into the warm leather seat, letting it recline until it was the perfect angle to see the big screen of the in home theatre. Soobin was curled up in his own seat beside her, everything from a bucket of buttered popcorn to a tub of ice cream, fizzy drinks and melon bread sitting in the vacant seat on his other side.

Normally, he worked in the kitchen and was learning to prepare meals with the veteran cooks who had taken him under their wing. The young hybrid took to it readily, never afraid to roll up his sleeves and learn something new. His age and eagerness made him a favorite with the older staff, who had a soft spot for the boy. Soobin soaked it all in the same way he soaked up sunlight when he was shifted down in his animal form. “Just let me know if you want anything, okay?”

“Sure,” Jamie extended her hand. “Drink, please.”

”Noona, I didn’t mean right now!” He giggled, though he handed over the drink as requested. Jamie couldn’t help but fight a fond smile. He had even put them in fancy glasses and gotten them bendy straws, as if it wasn’t just peach soda. It was a little too sweet for her tastes. She preferred something lighter, like a lemon lime soda, but it made Soobin so happy to get to choose the snacks for the evening, she could let it go.

He had hardly been part of the household for six months, and after his previous life on the streets, the simplest of things still brought him a lot of wonder. Afforded more freedom than lots of domesticated hybrids, Jamie was often allowed times to go where she wanted, and she choose to spend a lot of it finding hybrid settlements, where the abandoned or wild-born strays of Seoul could gather, form communities, try to seek some semblance of safety in numbers.

It had taken them a while to trust that a hybrid who lived a life so far removed from them could have any good intentions, but once Jamie had earned that trust with patience and by assisting them in bringing supplies and getting any sick hybrids access to treatment, they welcomed her as an honorary member of the community. Many hybrids were content among their own kind, no longer seeking a place among humans after experiences that had scarred them. Jamie understood and respected that. She could have very well been just as mistrustful of people if the Gwan family hadn’t come along and scooped her up when they did.

Then, there were young hybrids like Soobin, who weren’t as jaded, and took her up on her offer of housing and employment. He had turned up in the settlement about a year ago, shy and slow to open up to her at first, but what she noticed was a bright spirit that was far from broken. By the time he did, Jamie had a lot of affection for the kid with his tall, lanky form and his slight lisp from a forked tongue and still-growing fangs that sometimes got in the way.

“I thought we were finishing that historical drama series...” she mumbled, “What’s this?”

”An action movie.” he stated.

Jamie arched a brow, but shrugged, settling quietly as the film started. It turned out to be a movie set around a young man and his German Shepherd hybrid, loose cannons who had been spies together before breaking from their agency. The duo had gotten too close to government secrets and decided it was their mission to take down the corrupt agency officials that had used them. It was actually pretty good, something she wouldn’t mind rewatching at a later date. She could only absorb so much with Soobin on the edge of his seat gasping or jumping around at every shoot out or explosion scene.

By the time the movie had gotten to the climax, Jamie felt her eyes starting to grow heavy, vision dimming. It had been a long day between visiting the stray hybrid community—there was a corgi hybrid named Yeonjun there that Soobin liked to see with her—and attending a graduation commencement ceremony where Ae-Ri had been asked to give the address due to being an alumni. She didn’t remember closing her eyes or nodding off, but she did hear Soobin whispering, shaking her shoulder and urging her to go to bed. “I paused it, noona. We can finish it tomorrow night.”

”It’s a date,” she smiled sleepily, rising with a stretch and bidding her friend goodnight, before heading back to her room. Well, Ae-Ri’s. She had her own room, technically, but it was just an additional walk in closet that had been renovated considering it was unneeded. Some might frown at the idea of being given a closet as a living space, but for Jamie, it was more than enough. After all, it had more space than some studio apartments in Seoul.

Changing for the night, tying up her hair and brushing her teeth, Jamie got settled, cozy under the quilted comforter where she could give into her instincts and burrow to her hearts content. She drifted off, wondering what Ae-Ri would have to tell her about the date the next time they spoke.

🐾

Her eyes shot open, instincts blaring. Something was wrong. Tumbling from bed, clumsy with grogginess, Jamie gave her eyes time to adapt to the darkness and crept to the door of her room, peering out to find that Ae-Ri still hadn’t returned. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but there was a certain tension she just couldn’t place. Maybe she could call her, see if she was doing alright. She would get teased a little for being a worrywart, but being that Ae-Ri was as much a big sister and friend as her owner, Jamie didn’t care. Her fingers had barely wrapped around the cell phone charging on her nightstand when the unmistakable sound of a crash had her instinctively falling to her knees.

Ae-Ri...? No, her friend wasn’t likely to have come home so sloppy drunk she was crashing into the door with that much force. Her room was connected to Ae-Ri’s and someone had just broken in. No sooner had masked people covered in black from head to toe started to swarm in than their noxious, unfamiliar scents spilled in too. They screamed danger, and they were communicating angrily, whispering about how someone was going to pay for “fucking up”.

”What the fuck? This room’s empty! She was supposed to be here! The ambassador’s daughter was our ticket—the whole plan hinged on grabbing her.”

Jamie shrank back into a corner, heart racing. Her door was cracked and if they spotted her, who knew what could happen. She shifted without hesitation, crawling under the bed and peering out, still able to see their feet and legs. “Calm the fuck down...while we’re here, we’re seeing if our guys can pull anything juicy off the ambassador’s computer. Maybe there’s something scandalous here?”

Helplessly, Jamie watched as they started tearing through the room, going through drawers and shuffling through the neatly arranged desk of her owner, pulling books and trinkets off her shelves, some of which fell to the floor with a crunch. It was when one of the goons snatched up a picture of the two of them smiling cheerfully on the front lawn the day Ae-Ri had graduated college, that Jamie barely managed to bite back a yelp of protest.

One of the intruders, a man by his voice and build, who was way too interested in looking through Ae-Ri’s underwear drawer, glanced back over his shoulder. But there was no way he could possibly see her from her position under the bed.

”So this is Gwan Ae-Ri, huh?” The one holding the picture muttered. “Not bad. The one in the picture must be her hybrid.”

”Where is the hybrid?” Asked the one clutching Ae-Ri’s g-string.

“I don’t know, but if she’s here somewhere that may be almost as good as the daughter.”

Jamie couldn’t believe these men had boldly broken into a powerful family’s house, looking to kidnap the ambassador to Japan’s daughter. How had they even managed it? Where was the security? Were the staff members okay? Her heart fell to her feet at the thought of something happening to Soobin or any of the others.

Jamie expected them to start looking in earnest, and they would probably eventually notice the cracked door and waltz right into her room. What she hadn’t expected was for one of them to walk back out into the hall, returning shortly with someone who wasn’t all covered up—someone she recognized.

‘Byungwook?!’ It was hard to suppress the scream that almost escaped. ‘No, no, no!’ Shock paralyzed her, wrapped in ripples of anger and betrayal. It couldn’t be. Byungwook was a dog hybrid brought in from a facility who bred and trained canine hybrids as security for high-profile clients. She was still a kit when he came, and had become something of an older brother figure. Why was he standing there, talking to these...would-be kidnappers so calmly. It was his job to protect the estate and its residents with his life. He and the other members of the home’s security team.

He began to sniff, and Jamie’s heart seized in terror. Byungwook had one powerful nose. To him, she might as well be out in the open.

“Yeah, she’s definitely close.” He informed them. They stood back, letting him take his time canvassing the ransacked room, until he came to the cracked door. Jamie couldn’t possibly curl up any tighter as he crouched down and peered under the bed, the two of them locking eyes. “Hey,” he whispered. “Listen, I know what you must think, but just come out and let’s talk, okay?”

Jamie trilled angrily, knowing he had some inkling about what she was saying and that she wouldn’t cooperate. Though her heart was heavy anger was all she was running on currently. Anger and the need to get away.

Byungwook rolled his eyes. “Knew you’d make it difficult.” He shifted down, wriggling out of his clothes as she had hers. He barked urgently, trying to paw under the bed and beginning to ease his way into her hiding spot.

Jamie hissed in warning, knowing she was no match but unwilling to go quietly. Byungwook was just as relentless, snapping and growling, trying to pull her out. His muzzle got too close and she snapped, her sharp little teeth and claws striking him across the nose. He withdrew and stood back, only to bark toward the group who had been waiting. More feet appeared, and Jamie’s muscles tensed, ready to run.

With a few grunts they dragged her bed aside, and Byungwook suddenly had unrestricted access. One definite advantage she had over him was her speed, and thanks to her small size, she darted right under his paws and over a booted foot. Foolishly, they had left the door open, and although she didn’t know what was waiting for her in the rest of the mansion, Jamie was intent on escape.

That was before she was soaring through the air, punted by the same foot she had run across. Tumbling across the floor, dazed, there was nothing Jamie could do when Byungwook seized her in his jaws, her lithe body dangling like a caught rat. Furiously, she squealed and spat, trying to turn, snapping.

“What the hell is she, exactly? A weasel? A mongoose?” someone asked, bemused.

“A fucking angora ferret, asshole!” She had wanted to say it, but someone else beat her to it. “Hurry and put her in the bag.”

Byungwook shook her around for good measure and then tried to spit her into an open sack. But Jamie knew that if she let them put her inside, there was no telling where she would end up. She fought with renewed vigor, using her teeth and claws in a way she never had thought to before. Byungwook caught another bite to the face, and it was just painful enough for him to drop her.

Jamie once again was on the run, managing to make it out the door and down the hall with the angry dog hybrid and those men hot on her heels. Trying to go downstairs was a bit risky, as she had no clue what had become of everyone else. Trying to get out of the wing, well...they were on the third floor but...

Finding one of the bay windows she loved to lounge by on spring days, Jamie shifted back, aware that she was naked, and began trying to work open the lock. Opposable thumbs had their perks.

“No, she’s trying to get away!”

Turning, she saw them coming at her, right as her leg was up on the windowsill, the glass sliding up to expose her bare skin to the nippy night breeze.

Jamie was prepared to drop, expecting to land in the neatly trimmed bushes of the inner courtyard and then steal off into the night, to the nearest police station. But strong jaws seized her leg, making her scream out desperately as Byungwook tried to drag her back inside. She held onto the edges of the window for dear life, fighting against his attempts to pull her even as the searing pain of her leg being mauled registered.

Frustrated, Jamie turned, swinging a punch that connected with the dog’s jaw. He let go, clearly in pain, and she took her chance, swan diving out of the third floor window.

She hit the ground cut up, throbbing and acutely aware of her mangled leg, but still trying to drag herself to safety. Blasts of gunfire exploded in her sensitive ears, more armed intruders engaging in a shoot out with members of the mansion’s security. Jamie sent up a silent plea that everyone who was in harm’s way made it out safely, that the staff had been hidden or evacuated, as she sprinted through the courtyard in the shadows. No one saw her, too busy trying to break in or defend themselves from invasion.

Jamie knew the grounds like the back of her paw, and her night vision enabled her to easily hide and sneak, heartbreaking as it was to leave the only real home she had ever known under attack.

🐾

The rain was coming down in sheets, had been all day. Elbow resting on side of the car, the young man stared at his reflection in the tinted window and sighed. A tired blue gaze stared back at him, his long, curly hair falling into his face, giving him a far-off, mysterious expression. His hyung was silently listening to the music coming over the car stereo, and he was wondering what the heavens had to cry about. He could be, should be crying, but his eyes remained clear, staring out at the streets they drove through, thinking about matters that never crossed the minds of the average person.

It was a stressful job that no one but others in the same line of work would understand. The assholes who were supposed to be helping them expand their endeavors to seize more control of the ports had backed out at the last minute, deciding to go with another partnership offered by a rival faction in Gwang-ju.

They had already agreed on the cut percentages and then had the nerve to scamper to the first syndicate to offer more. After all the times Bangtan had assisted them when they both had next to nothing. He was especially angered over the slight, considering that he’d thought of Hwarang as friends. Loyalty was hard to come by in their line of business though, so in the end, it was offensive but not entirely surprising. His hyungs assured him that he wasn’t at fault, that they would handle it, but it only made him feel worse.

The majority of the citizens of South Korea weren’t concerned with the same things at all. They thought of normal things like the stressors of their menial office jobs and the asshole bosses breathing down their necks, or studying for exams and balancing their social lives if they were students.

The most excitement the average person got was vicariously through the news, if they cared to tune in. He had reluctantly, because paying attention to the rumblings of the nation’s government was of importance to his hyungs, and therefore to him. For three days straight, all the news stations and newspaper headlines had been more or less the same: Breach In Security Cited in Bold Attack on Ambassador’s Home.

Quite terrifying to national security that a high level diplomat’s home would be invaded and ransacked. His personal computer was apparently not stolen, nor was anything of value. The ambassador himself, along with his wife, were out of the country on official business at the time but had come back, citing concern for the safety of their staff and daughter. Their daughter was also unharmed, not even home but out. What had caused a bit of a stir was the fact that Gwan Ae-Ri’s hybrid was missing. She was believed to have been attacked in the invasion, and blood belonging to her was found both inside and outside the home.

There was a hefty reward being offered for any information on her whereabouts or a safe return, her face often plastered on television. Her white hair was always pin straight, fringe covering her forehead and a reserved smile on her face. Thick lashes framed startlingly clear brown eyes. Her button nose very cute, and very expected given her species. She was generally dressed in something complimentary to Ae-Ri, her owner, in the news reels showed. A Gucci blouse and finely pressed fitted slacks or a stunning maroon Alexander McQueen with a flowing train.

If not for her exotic hair color, anyone without knowledge of hybrids would see two refined young ladies, both beautiful and elegant. Good looks and designer clothes he could appreciate, but his eyes always focused on the same thing in every picture he saw—studded in crystal though it may have been, the pendant dangling from her neck every time she stepped out into the public eye was still a collar. A sign of ownership, denoting that she was nothing more than a pampered, glorified pet at the end of the day.

A slight curl of disgust would find its way to his lips at the thought of ever being owned, stripped of his dignity in such a manner. Then again, most hybrids owned by the wealthy had only ever known that existence. People wanting hybrids who had the money to spend hardly ever went for the sick or disabled ones that could be found lurking in back alleys struggling to survive on cold nights or blistering summer days. They went to breeding centers who carefully churned out companions fitting of the prestigious lives of the humans who wanted them.

The girl was probably the same. Although a ferret, however fancy, was an odd choice for the pet of an ambassador’s daughter.

“Hey,” Jin said suddenly, and Taehyung briefly let his eyes flicker to his hyung expectantly. “Why was the chef so frustrated during the cooking competition?”

”No clue,” Taehyung huffed, knowing he was going to find out one way or another.

“Because he was running out of thyme!” Jin announced, promptly bursting into a gale of laughter.

He groaned, but fought down the little smile that wanted to surface. No matter the situation, Jin always aimed to provide a little levity, very keenly aware of everyone’s moods, and when they needed a pick me up. The jokes may have been corny, but it was so very Jin that they looped right back around to endearing. Taehyung was grateful to be in a place where others had his back, giving him their love and caring about him when he was down, nursing him back to health when he was sick or injured.

Owned hybrids, in their gilded cages, were the ones he pitied. Sure he and the others lived a life full of dangers, but aside from keeping them as status symbols, how many of those rich people’s hybrids knew the kind of boundless love that he knew?

”Still thinking about Hwarang?” Jin guessed. “You know it’s already being handled. And don’t worry, Namjoon will give them a chance to explain themselves before we decide on what actions to take. We know they meant a lot to you.”

”No.” he interrupted.

”No?” Jin repeated, clearly puzzled.

”I mean, yes...what they did hurt, and it’s my fault for fucking up and letting my guard down just because they were my friends. I should’ve seen it coming.”

”Tae...”

”But it’s not that. I’m just trying to figure out how owned hybrids can stand themselves. They live as pets, hyung.”

Jin hummed thoughtfully, “So did I, once,” he reminded. “And what about when we found you? You’d been hoping to find a nice human family to love you since you were small.”

Flustered, Taehyung began to backtrack. “T-That’s...that’s different because—”

”Is it?” Jin questioned. “Honestly Taehyung, we came together for ourselves first, and then decided to liberate any hybrids who were suffering. Make the world fairer and safer for them. But not every hybrid living with humans feels they’re suffering or wants to be liberated. And not every human who keeps hybrids thinks of them as merely property.”

Unsure what to say, the boy remained quiet, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “I didn’t think about that, I guess. Sorry hyung,”

”It’s alright.” Never one to be vindictive, Jin waved it off. “Let’s go see what information Taeyong has for us and then head home, hm?”

That was more than fine by him. He was sick of the rain and the dreary gray streets, but at least they had almost arrived at the cafè where their informant was waiting. As their territory expanded, it was harder and harder for the seven of them to do patrols. Sure, they liked to be involved in as many of the day to day operations as possible, not just leave everything to subordinates, but that just wasn’t always possible.

A trusted, heavily vetted network of spies were strategically placed throughout Seoul and beyond, letting them know anything unusual that came up when it was necessary.

”But I kind of wonder why he couldn’t just tell us on the phone.” Taehyung grumbled.

”Oh, because I really wanted to pick up some bukkumi while we’re out!” The older hybrid laughed.

The rain had slacked by the time they reached the cafè, but only just. Jin parked the car in a reserved spot in the back, and they made their way in to find customers languidly enjoying the atmosphere. Jin really loved this place. It was his baby, an acquisition that hadn’t been strictly necessary but still meant a lot to him. His first purchase of a cafè.

When they needed it to, it hosted important meetings between themselves and clients, or just provided them somewhere to go where they knew they wouldn’t be discriminated against for wanting a cup of coffee. There were cushioned black booths on one side, an old-fashioned bar with neon lights around the edge of the counter on the other.

Fairy lights strung across the lobby gave it a magical, inviting energy, and everything served on the menu was cutely made and delicious from the cakes to the coffees to the sandwiches.

Taeyong greeted them with a small smile and a nod, ushering them into the backroom where a wooden fruit crate sat on a table. “Sorry to call you out here in this shit weather, but I thought it was kind of one of those Had to See It deals.”

“Had to see what?” Taehyung asked, edging closer to the crate, curiosity piqued.

“Well one of our part-timers found her just slumped over and bleeding out about twenty minutes ago when he went to take out the trash. I called up the Boss and asked if anyone was in the area, and he said you two would be on your way.” The lemur hybrid explained.

“Her?” Jin repeated, his eyes widening as he leaned over, taking in a sharp breath. Taehyung edged up beside his hyung, immediately understanding his reaction. What lay on some old towels could have been mistaken for a wet tube sock stuffed with red jam leaking out of it.

But upon closer inspection, what it was became clear. Fur soaked and matted, covered in various injuries and so limp it was concerning, was a white angora ferret.

#bts x oc #bts x reader #bts fanfic #hybrid!bts #hybrid!au #hybrid!jungkook #hybrid!jin #hybrid!namjoon #hybrid!yoongi #hybrid!jimin #hybrid!hoseok #hybrid!taehyung #hybrid!reader #namjoon x you #jungkook x you #yoongi x you #hoseok x you #jimin x you #taehyung x you #jin x you #ot7 x reader #bangtan ot7 #gilded gambit

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Sting

A/N: Final-fucking-ly. excuse my language. You have no idea how long I’ve been playing with this idea in my head and just not being able to write it out. It was horrible. I hope you like it! I’ll try to post some more stuff the upcoming week but I can’t promise anything since everything is a bit overwhelming lately. Thank you for all the love and support! Don’t hesitate to drop me a request as well or just come and say hi 🥰

Warnings: insecurities (he makes you feel like you’re overdramatic), swearing, wounds

Genre: angst to fluff

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Rogue

☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀

"Is that really all you got, Yukino" you taunted the girl as a smug look was plastered on your face. The celestial mage was panting heavily in front of you. She had come to you a couple of weeks ago to learn how to wield a sword since she felt useless in a battle when she didn't have her keys. You happily agreed to it, seeing it as an opportunity to train more.

She charged at you, holding the diamond sword you made earlier diagonally in front of her face, ready to strike but at the same ready to block any attack that comes her way, just like you taught her.

You swiftly moved away, spinning on your feet in the progress as you slowly formed diamond armour around your body. You wanted to practise closer combat without your sword, which is why you were so focused on your defence. You knew you wouldn't always be able to rely on your sword skills, so this was the perfect moment to practice. 

Nobody doubted for a second the fact that you were an excellent swordswoman,it was the exact reason why Yukino came to you in the first place. But you could get overconfident, resulting in you slacking your moves and getting careless, and that's exactly what happened

Your back was still facing the celestial mage as you took your time, presuming she wouldn't be able to recover that quickly after you swept her feet from underneath her. But you were wrong, resulting in Yukino getting a direct hit on you. Unbeknownst to her, she hit you in your blind spot which was right in between shoulder blades. It was the spot where your armour was the weakest.

You fell forward, immediately forming a dome made out of diamond around you in an attempt to shield you from any following attempts.

 Yukino gasped at your reaction, knowing you only made that move when you were hurt badly "(Y/N)! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to-"

You let the shield crumble down again, making you visible to your friend. Placing a knee on the ground and pushing yourself up, you winced at the burning sensation. "It's fine, I was careless. It's not your fault"

Your reassuring words didn't ease the worry that was swimming through Yukino's mind "I'll go get some stuff to clean it up"

"No, it's fine, I'll go get it myself in a bit." You stopped the girl from running away as you stood up straight in an attempt to show her you were fine "you are progressing really fast"

"It's all thanks to you. Are you sure you don't need me to check up on your wound?" She offered again.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Maybe I'll try roping Sting into pampering me. That way he'd at least has done something useful today" you attempted to joke to make the younger mage feel better, and it was a success as a small chuckled left her lips. "Let's go back shall we"

Once back, the stinging sensation had still not died down. In fact, it only got worse.

"Sting" you whined as you leaned your head against your boyfriend's shoulder.

He chuckled at your childishness as he turned to look at you "yes, my love?"

"I got badly hurt during training with Yukino" you pouted "can you take a look at it?"

A chuckle left his lips once again "sure drama queen, where is it?"

"I'm not being a drama queen" you stepped away from him, the pout was still evident on your face but this time it was paired with your scrunched eyebrows.

"Of course you're not" sarcasm dripping from the words that just left his mouth.

"What do mean by that?" Your lips were now tightly pressed together, forming a straight line. You were now standing directly in front of him with your arms crossed in front of your chest.

"Remember that time you thought Rogue got kidnapped while he just overslept?" Sting explained, but you were quick to defend yourself "in my defence, Rogue had never once overslept."

"Fine, what about that time I twisted my ankle and thought I had broken it for sure" the crease between your eyebrows deepened as he kept listing situations "or that time you thought some guy was harassing Minerva while they were just out on a date?"

"I was just worried" you mumbled as you recalled more encounters where you were indeed overdramatic.

  "All I'm saying is, you tend to enlarge things. That's why I'm pretty sure that it's only a scratch, after all, Yukino just learned how to handle a sword. There's no way she could've hit you, the best swordswoman of our guild, that hard. But if you want I could still look at the wittle wound" he cooed at you, unknowingly worsening your mood.

"No. It's fine. I'm probably just being overdramatic again" the coldness that was latched to your words, send shivers down the guild master's spine, but before he could even muster an apology, you had turned on your heels and left to go home.

That night when Sting came home, he apologized and told you he didn't mean to make you feel that way. However, his words felt shallow, leaving nothing but an empty promise to be better.

The following days, the burning sensation only got worse, but you kept telling yourself that it was nothing. It was probably only a scratch just like Sting said.

Ignoring the pain, you kept going on about your days like normal. You kept making mental notes to not get swallowed by the worry for your guildmates and blow everything out of proportion. You absolutely did not want to be known as the girl who cried wolf.

Nobody seemed to notice, at least, so you thought. The boy in the shadows that liked observing more than talking to people noticed every small change from the moment Sting called you overdramatic.

It's why he wasn't surprised when Sting called him one morning, panic coated every word he spoke "Rogue! (Y/N) isn't waking up! I don't know what happened! Shit! Rogue! Help! What do I do?"

"Get her to the hospital as soon as possible, I'll meet you there" he replied in a much calmer voice. He knew he'd make matters only worse if he'd let his own worry shine through.

Sting had successfully brought you to the hospital in under ten minutes, Rogue shortly arrived after you two.

"I don't know what happened... She seemed fine yesterday…" Sting trailed off as the twin dragon slayers were seated next to your hospital bed.

"Did she really though?" Rogue sighed which earned him a questioning look from the blonde " (Y/N) hasn't been herself for almost a week"

"What do you mean? She seems perfectly normal to me?" Sting's gaze averted from his friend to you as he tried to recall any odd behaviour, but nothing came to mind.

A heavy sigh left the raven-haired mage again "ever since you called her overdramatic, she's been acting more distant, being less expressive. I think you hit a nerve when you said those words"

Sting was quick to defend himself "it can't be that. I apologized that night, and she told me it was nothing, that she didn't care"

"Whatever you say" he mumbled as he noticed your hand twitching.

Sting quickly grasped that same hand and waited patiently for you to open yours, while anticipation filled his. "I'll go get a doctor"

Rogue re-entered with a doctor sooner after, once you were fully awake " Ah, miss (L/N) good to see you awake"

You nodded your head awkwardly before she continued "you had a nasty looking cut between your shoulder blades, were you aware of that?"

"Yes," you mumbled as you fiddled with your finger, afraid to make eye contact with anyone.

The doctor sighed as she put the clipboard down "there was an infection spreading from that wound due to pieces of diamond stuck in it. Had you waited any longer, you would have died. Why didn't you come sooner"

You felt incredibly small as all eyes were looking at you, waiting for you to respond "I didn't think it was that bad. I didn't want to seem overdramatic"

As soon as the last word rolled off your tongue, Sting's eyes grew wide in realization. Rogue was right. "We'll give you a moment"

"(Y/N)" you refused to meet his eyes, even when he grabbed your hand to stop you from fiddling, so he tried again but with a more stern tone this time "(Y/N) look at me"

You did as he requested and wished you could sink into the darkness as Rogue could right there and then. The hurt and disappointment that were swimming in his eyes made your gut wrench as you never intended to upset him "why didn't you say anything?"

"You said that I was being a drama queen and that there was probably nothing to be worried about, so I assumed that it was just that, me being my overdramatic self" you explained, your eyes averting again to your fingers that were now intertwined with Sting.

"I thought I told you I didn't mean that" he frowned at the fact that you didn't even dare to look at him.

"But you were right!" You explained fed up as frustration tears started to form in the corner of your eyes "I am overdramatic. I blow everything out of proportion. I am just a burden that brings unnecessary stress into everyone's lives"

"Okay stop that. First of all, you are not a burden, nobody thinks that so stop it. Second of all, I am really really sorry that I made you doubt yourself. You're not overdramatic, well maybe a little, but it's not a bad thing. It shows how much you care about all of us. I'd rather have you blow things out of proportion than minimalize it and have bad things happen like this" he explained.

"You really think so?" You ask, your watery eyes finally meeting his.

"I know so. I am so sorry for making you feel so insecure about yourself. That was never my intention, please forgive me" he pleaded.

"I forgive you, I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner about the wound" you reply as you kissed his hand.

"It's alright. Now get some rest, my love. I'll be here when you wake up"

#fairy tail #fairy tail imagine #gray fullbuster #fairy tail imagines #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail x reader #laxus dreyar #lucy heartifilla #natsu dragon slayer #sting dragon slayer #sting eucliffe #fairy tail sting #sting x reader #sting eucliffe x reader #sting imagine #sting imagines #sting headcanon #fairy tail headcanon #fairy tail icons #fairy tail x angst #fairy tail angst #sting angst #rogue cheney x reader #rogue cheney imagines #rogue imagine #rogue cheney imagine #fairy tail rogue #ft

[aphrostarot]

Wheel of Fortune Pick a Pile

What has been going on in your life recently and what are some changes being made in your life that you may be unaware of?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

Pile One (amethyst):

Who are you currently?

The Devil:

At this current stage in your journey, you are feeling pretty passionate. It seems to me that you might be feeling passionate about the wrong things. You seem to be taking a break from your journey to pursue more "fun" activities. It feels to me that you are on a journey towards the career of your dreams and that you have been working hard for so long that you feel as though you haven’t been able to have fun, which is why you are currently going out and doing things that you deem as “fun”.

How is the environment surrounding you affecting how you make decisions?

Four of Swords:

What has prompted you to take this break has been your environment. You may feel as though nothing has been progressing in your life for some time now which is why you have decided to take a break from this journey.

What are you taking a break from right now?

Seven of Pentacles:

Right now, you may be taking a break from planning your future. Maybe you were the kind of person who always felt as though they had to have a plan for everything the Universe threw at them and as of lately, you felt you didn't have to do that anymore. You want to be a person who goes with the flow, rather than someone who obsesses over the what-ifs.

Obstacles and Challenges:

During your journey, you may have felt like you were being faced with challenge after challenge. It got tiring constantly fighting to maintain your position on top, which is why you decided to take time off. This card tells you not to play the victim, that sometimes life can be hard and there will be challenges and competition that pops up every now and then, but that does not mean you should quit. Make sure you come back to this journey after this break.

What is gaining momentum in your life right now?

Five of Swords:

You have felt pretty defeated throughout your journey because you feel like you are losing to your competitors. Recently, you may have even lost an opportunity to a competitor. In a nutshell, this card is telling you that the thing in which you feel defeated was not all it was cracked up to be, and you did not miss out on anything.

Fulfillment of Wishes:

Your wishes will be coming true soon. Your guides urge you not to give up on this journey because soon all of your hard work will pay off. Wish fulfillment is on its way to you which will then bring happiness and contentment along with it. Don’t give up on your dreams!

What is something you should celebrate, appreciate, and be thankful for?

King of Cups:

Being kind and understanding is something you have worked really hard at. This card is telling you that all of your hard work has paid off. You are who you have been working so hard to become. You are a kind and empathic person, and it is time to realize that. Celebrate the fact that you are who you've always wanted to be.

Prosperity Begins:

You may have worked very hard to build a solid foundation for your life. This card is signaling to you that your hard work is beginning to pay off, you are starting to see some of the benefits come through. You may have just received your first paycheck or received a gift out of the blue recently. Both of these things are symbols of your hard work paying off. Now that you are starting to see the benefits of all the hard work you have put in, it's time to celebrate.

What thing is leaving your life/no longer needed?

Four of Cups:

Maybe you've been bored with your journey, feeling as though your hard work hasn't paid off, causing you to think, "what's the point? Why do I continue to do this if it's not working?"?This mindset is starting to fade from your mind as you see the results of your hard work. This means that your passion for your dreams is beginning to return.

Queen of Wands:

As that mindset slowly begins to fade away, it will be replaced by your ambition. As you continue on your journey, you will gradually feel more ambitious, feeling as though you can accomplish anything you are faced with. When this happens, you will finally be able to climb that career ladder that you have been trying to climb for so long.

Accelerated Motion:

Another thing that will happen once you lose that mindset is that your journey will be accelerated. You will be able to achieve greater heights on this journey than ever before.

Pile Two (sodalite):

Who are you currently?

Queen of Cups:

Right now you feel very loyal to the people and things in your life. You might have recently been presented with a new opportunity, one that would have caused the loved ones in your life to feel betrayed. Because you don't want to be the person who sells others out to be on top, you declined the opportunity. Loyalty has taken you far in life, and you feel that it can still take you even further.

Queen of Pentacles:

For most of your life, you have worried that the money you have gained will not return, which has led you to not treat yourself. However, this mindset has recently changed. You have begun treating yourself more often, doing things that you have always wanted to do but never did because of your fears.

How is the environment surrounding you affecting how you make decisions?

Temperance:

The environment you live in seems to be stable, which is a good thing. Recently, you have begun to find equilibrium in your environment. Due to this equilibrium, you have noticed that your relationships with your loved ones are improving. This equilibrium has also resulted in a mental and physical healing process for you.

What are you taking a break from right now?

King of Cups:

It seems you are taking a break from your more empathic side. Perhaps this side of you has caused you some difficulties in the past. It may have been that you were surrounded by energy leeches and you allowed them to stay in your life because of your empathetic side. Once you realized that they weren't good for you, you lost your sensitivity towards them.

Solar Plexus Chakra:

Your inner feelings are dealt with by this chakra. When you realized there was an imbalance in yours, you began to make changes that would help you to restore it. Such as cutting out those energy leeches. You can also balance this by practicing yoga.

What is gaining momentum in your life right now?

Ace of Swords:

Your stamina and determination are increasing. This is due to you getting rid of those energy leeches. You now have more energy to accomplish things in life, which is causing your journey to speed up.

Crown Chakra:

For so long, your intellect has been put on hold by your emotions. Now that you have put your emotions on hold, your crown chakra has begun to gain momentum. Your brain is being used more often than your heart. You may be able to maintain this alignment through meditation or yoga.

What is something you should celebrate, appreciate, and be thankful for?

The World:

Recently, you have completed some stages of your journey. One of these things is you releasing the people in your life who were not good for you. You are encouraged to celebrate your accomplishments and acknowledge the progress you have made in your life.

Power:

You are being asked to recognize your power. Due to the difficulties you have faced in your life, you have become an extremely strong individual. It is time for you to recognize your strengths.

What thing is leaving your life/no longer needed?

Four of Pentacles:

You have been pretty possessive over the things in your life. This possessiveness and jealousy are leaving your life soon. Or it has recently just left your life.

Recognition and Reward:

Throughout your life, you may have felt you needed recognition for all your hard work. You have faced a lot of problems as a result of this need. You seem to pursue only those things in life that will bring you recognition. When it comes to people who have gotten the things you want, you tend to be jealous. The constant need for recognition will soon disappear from your life.

Pile Three (rose quartz):

Who are you currently?

Four of Pentacles:

You may fear that everything you have accumulated over time is going to leave. Because of this fear, you are pretty possessive over the people and things in your life. In addition to being possessive, you're also quite jealous of people who get the things you want, as well as jealous of your loved ones.

The Tower:

In the past, you suffered great loss due to something or someone. It is this loss that has made you possessive and jealous in response to things not sticking around and your fear of losing them. It seems to me that the journey you are currently on is all about self-love and care.

How is the environment surrounding you affecting how you make decisions?

Knight of Pentacles:

After experiencing such a great loss, you think twice before making any major decisions. You do not want to rush headfirst into anything like you did in the past. As a result of your environment, you have become more patient. It has been this patience that has guided you further on this journey.

What are you taking a break from right now?

Three of Swords:

A recent heartbreak may have affected your life. You have suffered a great deal from this heartbreak. Perhaps this heartbreak is caused by the loss you experienced. It has been this pain that has driven you for quite some time now. You make decisions because of your fear of recurring pain.

Temperance:

You have been so caught up in your pain that you are not letting yourself heal physically and emotionally from these wounds. By taking a break from your healing journey, you only prolong your suffering. You shouldn't do this to yourself.

Love Begins:

Right now, you are taking a break from love. This person who hurt you may have been a lover and this has caused you to hold off on pursuing a relationship that could possibly bring you the same amount of pain that you experienced with that person. If it wasn’t a lover who hurt you, then it may just be that this pain has caused you to take a break from love for the time being.

What is gaining momentum in your life right now?

Ace of Cups:

Although you are taking a break from love, there is still love coming towards you. New beginnings in love are blooming. This feels to me like a new beginning in self-love. You may not have been able to give yourself the self-love you deserve because of the pain you have endured and your guides say that this break you are taking is allowing your self-love to bloom.

Memories of Love:

Perhaps you were really on top of your self-love and self-care before you got heartbroken. It was clear to you what you needed and how to show yourself the right kind of love and care. But now you aren't doing that, whether it is because you got used to someone caring for you, or because you are so stuck in your pain that you have no time for yourself. It is time for you to regain control over loving and caring for yourself.

What is something you should celebrate, appreciate, and be thankful for?

The Empress:

You have grown so much in your life and you need to recognize this. You are now fully in touch with your divine feminine. You are an embodiment of feminine energy, knowing your own worth and never settling for anything less than what you deserve. This is something your guides want you to fully recognize and celebrate about yourself.

Intuition:

You also have a very strong intuition that needs to be recognized and celebrated. You should listen to your gut more often because that gut feeling is your intuition and it seems to never be wrong.

What thing is leaving your life/no longer needed?

Ten of Cups:

In the past, you may have dreamed of a fairy tale ending. Maybe you thought that the person you were recently with would be your forever, but then it didn't work out, which left you heartbroken. Those dreams of a fairy tale ending seem like a naive version of yourself. It was a past version of yourself who didn't know their own value and didn't know what they truly desired in life. Your guides tell you that now that you know your own worth you know what you truly want, which is not a fairytale ending.

Financial and Material Changes:

Your life has been filled with loss, and because of that loss, you are very possessive of the things around you. Your possessiveness is a result of the fear of losing everything again. With this card, your guides are saying that you must let go of those fears and allow yourself to be who you are.

Pile Four (amazonite):

Who are you currently?

Queen of Wands:

You are feeling pretty ambitious about your journey right now. You are ready for whatever the Universe throws at you. It seems as if there is no limit to what you can accomplish. The path you're currently on seems to be a career path, and you're now climbing the career ladder.

How is the environment surrounding you affecting how you make decisions?

Ace of Wands:

You may be in the beginning stages of a new hobby or passion. This is something that you are extremely passionate about and may even want to pursue as a career one day. This new beginning is what is fueling your ambition right now.

What are you taking a break from right now?

Six of Wands:

You have always dreamed of being successful in anything you set your mind to. You believe in your heart that you can do anything and be good at anything. Whatever you do, you want to be recognized as an authority figure. Developing a following for whatever it is that you do is one of your dreams. It has been your driving force for quite some time now that you want to become famous, to be a celebrity. However, you may have recently realized that those dreams were not healthy for you, that having that be the sole reason for your ambition was not a good thing for you and your own personal journey.

Trapped in Fear:

You may also be a pretty anxious person. Your fears and anxieties seem to control your life, or at least they did in the past. You are currently taking a break from the above to better control your anxiety. Those dreams may have made you even more anxious, which is why you decided to take a step back from them.

What is gaining momentum in your life right now?

The Sun:

Your happiness is gaining momentum. You haven't been lacking in happiness, in my opinion. I believe that you can find happiness in small ways in your day-to-day life. In your day-to-day life, however, you have not been able to be extremely happy. This is what is gaining momentum for you.

I am getting strong Leo energy from this pile.

Power:

Having lived with your anxieties for some time now, finding the strength to overcome them has been pretty difficult for you. Strength seems to be on its way. Currently, you will be experiencing greater levels of strength within yourself to overcome some of your anxieties. If you are not experiencing that right now, you soon will be.

What is something you should celebrate, appreciate, and be thankful for?

The Wheel of Fortune:

For quite some time, you have enjoyed good fortune. Although you may not have noticed, your guides tell me that you have. You seem to be very lucky, especially when it comes to succeeding at everything you put your heart and mind to. You are being asked here by your guides to recognize and celebrate this.

Movement, Choices, Decisions:

Additionally, you are a very hard-working individual. In most cases, you don't quit and keep working no matter how hard it gets. Your guides are urging you to recognize and celebrate the progress you have made so far on your journey.

What thing is leaving your life/no longer needed?

Page of Pentacles:

In the past, you may have felt that you needed to continuously learn more and more about what you are pursuing in order to succeed at it. Or maybe you felt that, in order to travel forward, you needed to constantly learn about where you are on your current journey. According to your guides, you already know everything you need to know and you do not need to learn anything else. There is no need to second guess yourself here, you are on the right track.

New Beginnings:

Your guides are telling you that the path that you are currently on is the correct one. You do not need to change your course of action because you are doing everything correctly right now. Keep up the good work and stop second-guessing yourself!

Though tips are not required, they are very much appreciated. Thank you! Venmo: @ aphrostarot Paypal: paypal/aphrostarot

#pick a pile #pick a card #pick a crystal #tarot readings #tarot #oracle #the wheel of fortune #spirituality #diviniation #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

[watercolorfreckles]

Please do a continuation to villain and his therapist! I’m in love with it!

Thank you, Anon!! Here ya go :) Hope you like it ♡ thank you @writing-on-the-wahl for reading the first half when I was having trouble with it.

Part 1

CW: angst, captivity, mention of blood, minimal violence

The world sloshed fuzzy and dim as Juliet's eyes fluttered open. The room seemed to dip and sway before coming into focus.

"So you're my brother's shrink," a deep voice cut through the silence that rang in the therapist's ears, startling her into a more upright position.

She recognized that voice from tv... low and molten, distinctly belonging to Supervillain.

She recalled the stories of him from her sessions with Villain...

Juliet looked down, assessing. She was bound to a chair, and the cold of the metal seeped into her aching bones. She blinked the remaining dizziness away, starting to turn her head, but a vice-like grip closed around her jaw from behind.

She froze, a small sound escaping her lips.

"Hero's too, I hear," Supervillain continued from behind her. "What a happy coincidence."

Supervillain abruptly rounded on her, crouching inches away. His gaze bore through her and she felt pinned to the spot.

It rivaled any dangerous look that Villain had ever given her.

Juliet's stomach plummeted but she stayed composed. "Whatever it is that you want, I can't help you."

Her voice shook only a little.

"No?" He reached out, something metal in his hand catching the light.

Her breath caught as Supervillain traced the tip of a blade down her aching temple, arcing over the curve of her cheekbone.

She couldn't help but imagine how easily it could slice through her flesh like paper.

Juliet swallowed, squashing down the panic that threatened to flood her, and didn't let it show on her face. She'd had plenty of training to stay calm in intense situations.

"Why am I here?" she asked, making sure to keep her voice level.

Supervillain let go of her jaw to lift her chin with the tip of the blade.

"You've been brainwashing my brother with all your sunshine and rainbows mentality. Tyranny is in Villain's blood, it's a crime for you to try to make him into some soft tame thing. He was born to cause bloodshed, sweetheart."

Juliet took in a shuddering breath. "I am not making him do anything--"

"You're manipulating him," he hissed.

"He is in rehabilitation," she corrected. "He wants to be more than a villain, he is capable of better. He is my patient, I want what is best for him."

Juliet winced as Supervillain slashed a cut on her cheek, below her eye. She looked up, locking gazes with him.

She felt the warm ooze of blood dripping down her skin. The sting of it sobered her to the danger she was in, panic twisting her insides. For all the times Villain had gotten angry, he'd never touched her unkindly, never hurt her. She trusted he never would, not her. His brother, however...

"You want to declaw him; to dull him down into something palatable for you." Supervillain's voice was low and harsh, and the threat of it felt like walking on broken glass. "I'm not going to let that happen. We're going to take care of this little...distraction, and he'll get back to being what he was meant to be."

He stood, pulling a phone out of his pocket. Juliet's phone.

He punched in a number and waited as the phone rang.

"Doctor Meadows," Villain's smooth voice answered on the second ring. She could picture the flirty smile that no doubt played on his lips.

Her heart squeezed.

"I have your little shrink here with me. Why don't you come by and you can help me decide how best to dispose of her, mm?"

"...Supervillain?" Villain's voice was low and cautious on the other end of the line. "Did you hurt her?"

"Ah, only a little. Come see for yourself."

"What did you do? Is she there? Juliet?"

Supervillain held the phone out in front of the therapist. She swallowed, finding her voice.

"Villain," she spoke softly, keeping her eyes trained on Supervillain who observed her like a predator stalking prey. "I'm fine. Don't come here, he wants to undo all your progress--"

Juliet gasped as Supervillain backhanded her. It burned across her opposite cheek and she could taste the blood beading on her lip.

Supervillain brought the phone back to his own ear. "I want you to return to your full potential, Brother. Come. Let's talk."

He hung up.

--

Within several minutes, Villain came through the door with a carefully guarded expression on his face.

"A present for me? You shouldn't have." He sauntered closer, airing casualness, but she could see the unease in his eyes as he observed her.

His gaze hardened when he saw her swollen lip, the cut crowning her cheek, and the bruise no doubt blooming across the other.

Supervillain rested a hand on Juliet's shoulder and squeezed.

Villain stopped.

"This leech has infected your mind, Villain," Supervillain said. "She's manipulating you. You think she cares about you? She cares about the paycheck she gets every week, she cares about fulfilling her 'civic duty' in snuffing you out, slaying the beast."

"Villain." Villain's gaze snapped to Juliet as she spoke. "Don't listen to him."

Supervillain's grip tightened on her shoulder, making her flinch before she could stop herself.

"Think about it. The heroes tried to take you down and they failed. They couldn't defeat you outright. So they shoved this pretty girl with soft words and false promises down your throat. She's doing their dirty work for them."

"She's my doctor," Villain said, fists clenched and rigid though to Juliet, he was visibly agitated.

"She's one of them! Think, Villain." His tone was nearly sharper than his knife.

"Stop."

"How do you cook a frog?" Supervillain continued, ignoring his brother's objection.

"What?"

"If you drop a frog into boiling water, it'll immediately jump out. But if you heat the water slowly, it won't even know it's in danger until it's too late. It sits there and cooks from the inside out, slowly. That is what she is doing to you."

Villain looked between Juliet and his brother, slightly resembling a caged animal.

"She's a psychologist, villain, she knows exactly what mind games to play to get you to do what she wants. You think you love her and that she might feel the same." He laughed bitterly. "She might love the idea of you. But do you think she'd ever love the real you, love anything other than the idealized version of you she's created? At least when the heroes try to crush you, they're upfront about it. She's crushing you from the inside and you're letting her."

Supervillain wound his fingers into Juliet's hair and yanked her head back, baring her throat. He extended his blade to his brother. Villain's fingers flexed at his sides.

"Kill her. Liberate yourself. If you don't, I will."

Juliet found Villain's gaze and held it, desperate for him to hear her. "Villain. Don't let him ruin your recovery. You're doing well, you are incredibly strong-willed to have made such progress so fast. Do not let him take that from you. You earned it, Villain. I didn't do that for you."

Villain swallowed and took the blade. Juliet's vision swam.

"I'm sorry, Juliet," Villain said softly. "It's not worth it."

Juliet squeezed her eyes shut.

She heard the blade puncturing flesh and the grunt that followed. She opened her eyes again to watch Supervillain fall to the ground, his blood spattered on Villain's shirt. She stared at him.

He knelt before her to cut her restraints. Their gazes interlocked.

General Taglist: @writing-on-the-wahl , @valiantlytransparentwhispers , @distance-does-not-matter , @redbircl , @lilaccatholic , @crazytwentythrees , @thelazywitchphotographer , @deadlygemuwu, @chibicelloking , @lolafaiy , @thinkwrite5 , @putridghost , @tobeornottobeateacher , @sunflower1000 , @bouncyartist , @thanatoastie , @vlerlove-deactivated20210701, @feyriddle, yet-another-heathen,

"I'd sacrifice my rehabilitation a thousand times over if it meant you were safe."

Part 3

You’re on this list if you’ve asked to be tagged in any of my writing before. I prefer doing a general list instead of individual ones since that is tedious to keep track of. Let me know if you want to be added or removed. :)

#this is so longggg im so sorry #also this took me so long to write omggggg #i hope you all like it #writeblr #writing snippet #hero x villain #villain x civillian #civillain x villain #captivity #flash fiction #short story

[doctorprofessorsong]

More Destiel Fic Recs

Y'all please don't judge me by the sheer volume of fic I clearly read to produce these fic rec lists. I read a lot, okay?

"Bring up the Deep" by deathbanjo (Explicit, 22k)

So this is a combo horror fic/case fic. If you have read famous horror fic "A Complete Kingdom" by komodobits, it may awaken some latent trauma (that fic is so fucked up. Good, but it screws with you), but this one has a happy ending. 

The case involves a mysterious sea monster and mysterious red balls that washed up on shore and that seem to be affecting people. It's got a low grade menace/creep factor that is top notch. Layered onto this dynamic is an established but secret relationship between Dean and Cas, which is complicated as Dean and Cas get affected by the monster.

"Patient Love" by chaoticdean (Explicit, 164k) @chaoticdean

Look, you always know that if I am recommending an AU, it has to be exceptional. This one was a tough read for me personally, because of some of my own history, but it is so so good. Dean returns home after the death of his best friend, Jimmy, and a life altering combat injury. But returning home means facing Jimmy's twin brother, Cas, who broke his heart years ago. 

This is an angst-heavy fic that deals with deep trauma and how we put ourselves back together and learn how to let ourselves be loved. It is beautiful and touching and hopeful. 

 

"Only an Angel" by expectingtofly (Explicit, 43k) @expectingtofly

After Cas is annihilated by Raphael for rebelling, Chuck decides to give him another chance. To resurrect him. Because Cas has made the story interesting even though (because) he went off script. Chuck gives Cas a choice: return to Heaven with no consequences for his rebellion or continue on his path with the Winchesters. To help him decide, Chuck sends him back to the pre-Cas S1 days. Long story short, it's a time travel fic with S4 Cas and S1 Sam and Dean. 

The concept is really great and Cas's perspective is so beautiful here as he struggles with his doubts and to define what is right. I think my favorite thing about this fic is how right these characters feel. The characterization is fantastic. 

More under the cut

"Circadia" by imogenbynight (Explicit, 76k) @thevioletcaptain

Set in S9, this one manages to be a really cool concept executed flawlessly. In the aftermath of Gadreel, Dean takes off on his own only to get a call that Cas has gone missing. Meanwhile, Cas has been kidnapped and his mind has been wiped. He believes himself to be a ruthless killer incarcerated and subject to experiments. The race to get to Cas before it's too late and the struggle for Cas to work out what is happening and break free from the mind wipes makes for a tense, satisfying read. Unsurprisingly, imogenbynight nails the characterization and comes up with a very twisty, very engaging story at the same time. A note, the smut is at the very end, so you can probably read it as Mature if you are so inclined. 

 

"Life skills" by ilovehowyouletmefall (Explicit, 26k) @angelinthefire

Ok, this one gets pretty smutty, so if that isn't your thing, it's not your fic. But this fic is a great combination of funny and hot, while being surprisingly touching. Dean takes it upon himself to teach Cas some critical life skills including skills in the bedroom because it doesn't count as gay if it's in a threesome. It's fun to watch Dean's mental gymnastics, but there is also a surprising amount of heart both in the care with which Dean treats Cas and in the way Dean faces down the shame and fear he feels. 

 

"The Tunnel of Love" by xylodemon (Explicit, 21k)

This is an older one and it has a lot of traffic, so you may have already read it, but I wanted to include it because I love a good case fic and this is a really strong one. The guys investigate a haunted carnival. Cas is newly human and he and Dean are dancing around each other, with Dean terrified of going after what he wants and screwing it up.

 

"An Atrocity is Happening" by shaking_like_milk and you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) @you-cant-spell-subtext-without

Ok, this one is absolute crack but it is hilarious crack. French Mistake Jensen Ackles (not real life Jensen) finds his life in shambles after blacking out for a week. His credit cards are maxed out, Misha is dead, Danneel has kicked him out of the house and he doesn't even understand what happened. But what if . . . . OK, it's crazy but what if the episode they were working on is based in REAL magic and there is a REAL Dean out there. And what if he traveled to that universe and met him? And, you know, if Dean thought he was cool, maybe they could . . . Ahem. Well, let's just say chaos ensues.

"Welcome to Pine Shores!" by andimeantittosting (Saylee) (Explicit, 20k)

@andimeantittosting art by @imogenbynight

Oh, y'all, I am absolutely obsessed with this fic. It is *chef's kiss.* After defeating Chuck, Dean and Cas retired to run a roadside hotel and safe spot for hunters. For over a decade they have built a soft little life. They go on little dates and take care of each other. And they are still morons, both in love with the other and assuming it's unrequited. They idiots, your honor, and we love them deeply for it. 

 

"In All Your Borrowed Finery" by vanishingact (Explicit, 67k)

So this one is a bit of an unusual rec for me because it heavily features Sabriel to the point that they get top billing, but I am still including it as a Destiel fic because it does have an extensive Destiel plot too (and smut for both couples if that is a factor for you). 

I am in love with the concept here, which is that Dean discovers a spell that he thinks incapacitates angels in Kevin's notes from the angel tablet and, in a moment of desperation, he uses it. It does incapacitate angels . . . by stealing their wings. The result is that Dean and Sam end up with wings and they call upon their respective angel love interests to help them navigate it. This is set against the backdrop of a pretty fun case and an underlying plot line dealing with the post Metatron fallout. It's a light and easy read with a healthy dose of humor. 

"Sunshine Days Retreat" by Pigzxo (Mature, 28k)

This one is a case fic, fake relationship, only one bed tropefest, which isn't a bad thing. It's cute and sweet and fun, but it does dive into a lot of Dean's trauma and repression in a way that I found really meaningful. It also features angel Cas with all his angel powers, which I personally love. Anyway, I really liked this one as a standout in the genre. 

 

"Better off" by caelum_writes (Teen, 7k words)

Thus one is a bit unusual. It's a post finale fic that is largely centered around clothes. That sounds weird, I know. But the fic is a fairly light hearted examination of identity and family and belonging. The plot is fairly simple. Post finale, human Cas has never really had to dress himself. Dean, naturally, wants to dress him up in his own clothes. Both of them are dancing around actually using their words. 

#destiel #supernatural #spn #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #fic recs #deancas fic rec #destiel fic rec #fan fic rec #spn fic rec

[kthynes]

the caller you have reached (chris evans x reader)

pairing: chris evans x fem!reader

summary: chris was trying to drunkenly call the woman he loved and wanted to get back with but instead he reaches you, a shrink.

warning: swearing (sailor level), brief mentions of mental health

**IMPORTANT disclaimer: I won't be dabbling into the hard hitting topics of mental health in this short only because I'm not a certified health professional and so I can't be providing a written, unbiased, often characterized diagnosis towards any sort of mental health disorder because really, those types of sensitivities need proper care and output. With that being said, I do want to emphasize the notions of seeking help and not being afraid to seek help when needed. It's hard, but we all fight a battle and no battle is big or small or better or worse.

If my followers or readers do feel the need to privately chat with me, I'm here and I can you lend you an ear. Otherwise let's be kind and uplift another while we can. No harm in doing good and being better, that's for sure!

-end rant-

This short is dedicated to the following lovelies:

@princess-evans-addict

@mrs-djokovic

@slut-for-chris-evans

@saltyflowermakertaco

@bitchyslut99

@patzammit

@itskikiyooo

@maximeevansblog

Being a working adult is dreadful but the work you do is the most fulfilling kind of anarchy. You are a therapist, you work to heal and you work together with people who willingly reach out to you and your facility of care. There is that balance, the altering nuances in between that allows you to do what you do best. You advocate for good prosperity of mental health and accolade of teachable moments that fosters a safe space for your clients, not patients, but the people who deserve to be heard and not be medically categorized.

Your salubrious passion keeps you grounded. In your lifetime, you've seen the imperial impacts of poor mental health and it has been a detrimental drive in how you retreat and give back to a small found community.

"Okay." You exhale to yourself while leafing through another client chart. You're working off the clock, stuck in the renaissance of your homey office space while the outside world turns pitch black.

In the appropriate fields you jot down important takeaways from your last sit in session with heavy concertation and reasoning, you try to congregate a treatment plan all before you cellphone cries for you in venturous fashion.

"Hello?" You answer without checking the caller ID, tucking the device between your ear and shoulder so that way you could work and talk.

"Jenny!" The man boisterously shouts. "Jenny baby please talk to me! Let me make it up to you, let's just do this right, please. I'm fucked up here."

"I'm sorry but you have the wrong number." You infringe sounding like the posh, automated answering machine lady.

"Oh what the fuck Jenny — oh cah'mon don't do that, don't be like that baby." You re-verify a local number and it doesn't belong to anyone you know of. So you wonder who this man is but choose not to press further instead you tell him what is right from the knowing wrong.

"I'm not Jenny."

"Seriously?" He yells, forcing you to hold the phone away from your ear. "That can't be... This is—" He recites the number that is similar to yours but the last two digits are off.

"You got 42, not 53." It's an easy mistake to recall, a swipe of a drunken thumb could've mixed that up, so this time around, you're forgiving. Not that it happens often.

"Oh no. That's—" The mystery man trails, something about his voice discerns you, it's familiar but in a hindbrain way that you can't put a finger on. "Fuuuuuuuck."

"Wait hold on, hold up, is this Jenny's assistant, Nina?" You exhale sharply sometimes it takes more than one try and a side of convincing to get your point across and your passiveness was certainly to blame.

"No I'm not her assistant either."

"Then who the hell are you?" He exasperates. You make the snide mistake of telling him your name and he buffers for a bit.

"Oh. So you really aren't anyone of my concern then?"

"No." You mildly retort. "I wouldn't want to be anyways."

"Okay well I'm not sorry then because I'm here trying to reach my girlfriend and I can't get to her because I have you on the line being a smartass." With that accent of his you can tell he's a patriotic Bostonian. One of your own kind and that furloughs your need to engage in this mindless drivel, it wouldn't get you or him anywhere. At least that's what you tell yourself before shutting him down.

"Well then maybe you should learn to listen first, how about that?" You snap, dropping your pen before you note down angry nonsense into your actual work.

"Hey nowwww!" He yells as if he's trying to be Hank Kinsley.

"It's clear that you're drunk."

He brushes you off on the other end, enigmatic in what he wants you to know. "This is Chris Evans, you're talking to Chris-motherfucking-Evans, you hear?"

"I do now." You say tersely.

"Good." He huffs. "Good... Cause you know I'm in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and this is what I get. This is what I seemingly deserve, god you women I swear..."

Your face changes. You don't agree to be a lending ear but somehow Chris forces you to hear him out.

"I told her Y/N. I TOLD her that I wasn't ready to take the next step but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her. And now she throws it back in my face by getting with some other guy she once dated back in high school. And somehow, I'm supposed to be ok with it and move on, as she tells me. How the hell am I supposed to do that, huh?"

"I, um, I don't know what to tell you." You sigh somberly.

"Of course you don't!" His Boston twang begins to nerve you as there some remitting frequency of it. Hearing him obnoxiously go off, reminds you of all your shrewd New England exes who were his exact counterpart when soused. A ludicrous memory that you relive again with time and perfect harmony.

"Listen lady all I'm saying is that I fucked up. I know I did alright? I mean it doesn't take much denominational math and the plot of Lost in Translation to get that. I get it!"

Jesus. You whisper the lords name in vain as you lean your forehead against the palm of your hand while your elbow rested on top of the desk.

"So, let me get this straight, you think yelling at a random woman will help get further?" You question a little acutely for his liking.

"I don't know but it sure as hell takes off the heat, sweetheart." Something about a man calling you sweetheart grinds your gears and now your molars.

"Okay, alright, let's talk." You begin, sitting up a bit and tearing out a blank page from your memo pad; you were doing a late night consultation, a small hash out.

"Schuwaaaaa." Chris enunciates the word sure and to much of his mayhem, he’s sprawled out on the curbside, somewhere in the nowhere land of L.A. He contented but also upset and you were simply crashing his little pity party.

"What is it that you want from Jenny?" You professionally prod. "How about we start there."

"Wooooah, what is that we're doing here?” Chris gets mildly defensive with you. “I dunno you like that. If we're gonna talk then you'll have to get through my publicist first because right now I plead the fifth.”

You exhale a deep and fulsome breath. No one troubles you like him. It's sanctimoniously unnerving.

"I'm a shrink, my job isn’t meant to incriminate my clients well-being, or anyone else’s for that matter.” You address calmly. “So, if you do require some solicited advice then we can keep this call under strict confidence. You have my word, Mr. Evans and the paperwork that will follow shortly after this call.”

Silence. There is some shocking silence which is brief before you're catapulted with disbelief and more cackles. "Holy mother fucking shit. You're kidding me?"

"I can run you by my credentials if you’d like?” You mention stiffly.

"God I’ve reached a cuckoo hotline!" Wrong. That's a horrible thing to say and you'd think a man like him would've been more sensitive about his choice of words, inebriated or not.

"Far from it."

"Tell me something, alright? How many grown, adult men come crying to you?" Chris is edging with curiosity even though his eyes are betrayingly reddened after crying into a bottle of Dewars 18. He doesn't make that known to you and you never cared to ask.

"Enough to know that they cry." You simply state.

"Huh. So this is just another Tuesday for you then.” Chris scoff, the bottle making it to his lips and then swishing back down again.

"Comes with the territory except I don't tolerate drunkenness." You motely add. "Can you keep the bottle aside for the time being? Just until we're done here."

"That's understandable and oh yeah sure, sure, I won't touch it." You can hear the glass bottle 'clink' when coming into contact with the pavement.

"Now tell me about Jenny." You softly inquire.

"What do you wanna know? How we fuck or how we met?" Chris giggles like a naughty school yard boy.

"How did you two meet?" You slam the words urgently, nearly spelling out the cause.

"Oh! Oh. We met on the job." Chris chuckles punitively.

"Okay and did you guys connect instantly or was there a slow build up?" You involuntarily took notes for any PR rep of his that wanted solid evidence that would preside this call, cover your bases and your poor ass along with it.

"Instantly. Our chemistry read was off the charts." He explains with a slight hiccup. "Sorry."

"Great. So it was more so a work relationship that later grew into something more correct?"

"Pretty much."

"So when did you start developing feelings for her?"

"Um I'd say..." Chris tucks his chin, burps and then excuses himself before continuing. "Just before we wrapped up filming. But then I think somewhere in between all that I realized that she was my kind of girl, my... better half."

"And what made you come to that realization?"

"Well for one she has this infectious laugh that would have you laughing with her, there's that sound of beauty and pureness to it. And then with that, there were all the little things she'd do for me that made me think, like damn she's the one, she's it for me and that for better or for worse, I'd need her more than she'd ever need me."

Chris gets sad and you feel for him. Your pen stops moving when you were about to prescribe him some mind memory exercises. He was human. Humans hurt. Humans make mistakes. Humans stray but they also love. That's all Chris did. He loved with all of his heart to not expect the same love in return.

"You know Chris, we don't always get the love we deserve and sometimes its sucks. Sometimes you wanna kick it back with a bottle of Dewars 18 and shake your fists in the air." Chris quietly perks up at your choice of alcohol that you didn't know he was forcefully downing. He fashions a small half smile that you don't see but hear faintly. "But there's also a time and a place and things happen, people come apart, people get together, people do people and there's that fine line of letting life run its uneven course."

"I mean you sometimes have to not be okay to be okay again and I know that from my many years of helpful healing. It gets okay, never fully better and I think that's just how it is. You acknowledge your pain, your trauma and then you go on while being mindful of that transition."

"Wow."

"Hey, um, look, I actually have to get going. But if you can, just down the rest of that bottle and get yourself home."

"Are you sure?" Chris gawks.

"I mean you were already halfway through and it's not like I can physically stop you, right? And besides this is what I'm prescribing to you. I want you to acknowledge your pain, drink away your sorrows and then smash that bottle so you can be relieved from that trauma and hurt. After that you need to fix up and start new, have a mature conversation with her, if you can and then have your feet hitting the ground again. Don't fall into the routine of heartbreak even if it becomes too hard, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good." You sniff and start to put things away. "I know you're a good guy Chris, from how you are on TV and in interviews, I'm amazed by how articulate you are. You have the right mindset so I have no doubts that you'll fall back in any way. But if you do, please don't hesitate to reach out, I might have to hand you off to another cohort but nonetheless it can be worked out even if it does feel like you might be sparring on your own. You'll get the help you need."

"Great, thanks." Chris responds in his conscious state of thought. He feels pathetic with himself and that doesn't have you galling over the fact, instead you let him be.

"Do you need me to order you an Uber? Cab? Call a friend for ya?" You laugh easily and Chris hears it clearly, smiling in return.

"An Uber would be nice. I'll try to share you my location."

"Sure, on me and that'd be great."

"Thanks."

"No problem... And your ride should be here in two minutes, just look out for Raul in black Elantra." You inform him after checking your phone.

"Nice."

"You have a goodnight now Chris."

"You too." The line cuts and you're given a piece of your life back. You gather your belongings, flip off the light switch and make your way home. There's some truth and some brokenness in every situation. You knew Chris was going to be OK even if he didn't consult you afterwards. For you, there was no need. He's a smart man and he proves this over a prolonged period of time when he finally finds himself back on the market and then eventually in a relationship with a faceless and very loving woman from his own hometown.

He was finally happy, making you serendipitously glad that you were the caller he had reached.

#chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans

[randomshyperson]

Sorry for your loss - “I will move on” #04

Read on AO3 || Serie Masterlist here

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction pining, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, domestic Wanda, hurtful behaviors.

​ Tag list: @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia / @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5

//-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-////-//

Chapter Four - I will move on

"And I guess that's about it." You say as you finish telling Agatha about your last few weeks. She smiles as she shakes her head.

"I have to say I am proud of you." She comments gesturing briefly with her hands. "Are you sure you don't want to add anything else?"

You shrug, unable to remember anything relevant that you haven't mentioned.

You told her about writing again, about trying to drive again. About helping Wanda to stay home without having panic attacks, and to go back to work. You had only managed to drive in the supermarket parking lot, but it was still progress, and Stephen was very happy to hear it about too. The only thing missing to get your life back to normal was your apartment. And you had already arranged with Wanda to visit later that week.

"I have two questions for you then." Agatha says when you confirm that you have nothing to add. "Don't you think it's time to try to reconnect with your friends?"

You hesitate, thoughtfully. 

"I don't know." You said slightly uncomfortable. "My friends weren't just mine. They were Nat's friends too. And then she died, and I isolated myself. And well, I guess they were in their own grief too, because none of them tried to look for me anymore."

"You took your time to heal." She says. "Maybe they took theirs too. And now might be the time to reconnect."

You sigh, looking away.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." You speak. You look back at Agatha a moment later. "What was the other question?"

Agatha hides a small smile.

"A sensitive topic for patients who lose their beloved lovers." She says and you frown in confusion. "Well, dear, I need to ask if you are trying to date again?"

You gasp in surprise, feeling your face heat up.

"W-what?"

Agatha lets out a giggle.

"I know this may seem insensitive at first, and that's more because of the sexist socioeconomic construct that treats widowed women as violated property that must belong to their lover for the rest of their lives than anything else but I need you to understand that it's perfectly natural to move on." She narrates and you just stand there with a shocked expression and your heart racing. "You are a single woman now, and you have sexual and emotional human needs. I'm going to help you work through any kind of guilt, because judging your progress, you seem ready to be in a relationship again."

"I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, honey." Agatha interrupts with a giggle. "I'm not telling you to go around fornicating." She jokes. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But I don't think it's really your style at all."

You feel your face heat up, frowning at Agatha, but she continues to speak.

"Anyway, I'm saying that it will be good if you get back into romantic relationships with other people. Casual encounters, that sort of thing. You are allowed to love someone again, there's nothing wrong with that." She explains getting up toward her own desk, and then gives a mischievous little smile in your direction. "Not to mention that orgasms are great stress relievers."

You choke in surprise, but Agatha just smiles, turning to write the appointment report.

Your face is still very red when you leave her office.

//-//

"I'm going to make a gardener out of you yet, huh?" Monica joked as you finished composting, making you laugh lightly.

"Well, I had a good teacher." You joked back as you stood up.

You were at Wanda's flower shop again. It became routine for you to help Monica with the garden and the flowers. And as the days went by, you got used to being in the greenhouses while she was attending to customers and Wanda was working in the office. It took two weeks for Monica to start joking that you had become a staff member at the flower shop. You don't really mind helping out. Botany has turned out to be something surprisingly relaxing for you. The hours of Wanda's shift passed by quickly when you keep your hands busy with the plants and flowers, your anxiety long forgotten.

"Are you hungry?" Monica asks as soon as you return to the store's front desk, and she pulls out the " break" sign tucked under the counter. 

"Sure."

"Let's take a lunch break. See if Wanda wants to join us while I attend that boy." Monica says looking forward toward the window display. There is a boy clearly unsure about whether or not to enter the store and you exchange a chuckle with her before heading towards Wanda's office.

She is on the phone when she answers the door for you, and signals with her finger in her mouth for you not to say anything as she makes room for you to enter. As she mumbles in agreement on the call, you look around. She seems to be working on the organization of some big event judging by the whiteboard in the corner filled with notes, and you figure it's a party or some wedding, because you and Monica have been growing more flowers for this kind of thing lately.

"That sounds pretty good, actually." You listen to her speak as she jots down a few things in an agenda. " Don't worry, we have enough for the engagement party and the ceremony." 

The shelf on the side in front of the whiteboard catches your attention, and you walk over to the furniture next.

Wanda moves a little behind you, adding some stickers to the whiteboard. You keep looking at the bookshelf, distracted by the objects on it. There is a picture of the twins that makes you smile, some books, and other small pots of plants. You lightly caress the bonsai before looking down.

You run your fingers over the red flower on Wanda's bookshelf, trying to remember the name. Monica has taught you many things, but you don't know many as well.

"Anthurium" Wanda whispers behind you, as she turns off her cell phone and realizes that you are looking at the flower with curiosity. You murmur in understanding, turning to make comment that it is very beautiful, but your speech dies in your throat when you realize how close Wanda is. "What did you want?" She asks curiously and you are almost leaning your body against the bookshelf, trying to think clearly.

"I-I came to ask if you want to have lunch with us." You say while mentally telling yourself not to look at Wanda's lips.

Wanda murmurs in understanding, and you can barely breathe when she stands even closer, her hand outstretched to something above your head. She pulls out a small stick caught in your hair, and all you can do is stare at her with a racing heart as she bites back a smile, and tosses the stick into one of the vases on the shelf behind you.

"I'd like to join you, but I'm busy." She says and her gaze falls to your lips for a second before she turns her head away and walks off. You let out a breath, wiping your sweaty hands on your pants as Wanda walks toward the table in search of the notepad and pen she was using before hanging up her cell phone. "Can you please bring me something to eat? I'm starving. I just don't know exactly what I want..."

You smile as you see Wanda's thoughtful expression with pen and notebook in hand. You approach, putting the notebook down with your hand gently.

"Don't worry, I know what you like." You say simply, and Wanda blinks in surprise, smiling awkwardly. "I'll stop by that confectionery shop you like and also bring you a dessert, okay? You look stressed."

Wanda laughs lightly, her cheeks flushed. 

"Thanks, love."

The nickname slips so naturally from her lips that it takes a moment for both of you to realize what has just been said. Your gaze falls to Wanda's mouth the same minute that her pupils dilate. You are almost breaking the distance when Monica opens the door, not noticing the closeness of the two of you because she has her gaze on a piece of paper in her own hands.

You and Wanda immediately turn away, embarrassed.

"We have a big order, girls." She announces excitedly, raising her eyes to you. Monica frowns slightly at the guilty expressions and reddened faces. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." You answer in unison quickly, surprising Monica again, who acquires an expression of suspicion and humor. You clear your throat and Wanda lets out a short laugh.

"We were just talking about lunch." You say. "And well, Wanda has a big order too. I guess you guys will need my help then."

Wanda turns to you again with this statement.

"What? No, I can't make you work for me..."

You interrupt with a laugh.

"Wanda, don't even start." You say. "I love staying here. And I'm happy to help, really. Don't worry about it."

"You sure make my shifts more fun." Adds Monica with a smile, making you laugh. Wanda looks at you intently.

"Are you sure?" She asks, and you smile as you nod in agreement. "We'll talk about it later. You can't work for free, and if you're going to help you need a schedule, and breaks and chores."

You laugh, nodding.

"Yes, boss." You murmur playfully and Wanda pats your arm, making you and Monica laugh. 

"Let's get our lunch now, I'm starving." Monica orders as she turns to walk out the door. You murmur in agreement, and quickly kiss Wanda on the cheek before following the other woman. Wanda has a foolish smile on her face until you return with her lunch many minutes later.

//-//

You call Carol Danvers the day before you return to your apartment.

Things go much better than you expected, but it's not surprising, because you usually expect the worst case scenario. 

Carol is very happy to hear from you, and you are happy to know that she doesn't hate you for not calling before. You talk for a few minutes, but she can't talk much on the phone because her shift is about to start. You are surprised to learn that she is working in a nightclub downtown now, unlike months ago when she worked in a rock bar in Queens. 

 She tells you that Bruce was traveling because of his internship, but that he would be in town for the weekend, and invites you to visit her at work. You hesitate because you are not sure if you are ready to go to a club, but you accept as you think of Agatha's words about reconnecting with your friends again.

You are the one who drives to your apartment the next day, after you and Wanda leave the flower shop. Your heart is racing the whole time, but Wanda rests her hand on your thigh to calm you down, and as the minutes go by, you can no longer tell whether you are nervous about the trauma or something else.

Parking in the small condo cluster, you take a deep breath. Wanda gives your thigh one last squeeze before she pulls her hand away and gets out of the car, completely oblivious to the way your entire body trembles at her touch. Shaking your head slightly to push that kind of thought away, you step out of the car.

Your hands are shaking wildly as you take your keys out of your pockets, just as you reach the second floor, after you have politely waved to the people who recognized you on the way to your apartment. 

"Hey, breathe." Wanda asks softly beside you. And you take a deep breath, and it helps. And then you turn the key, and go inside.

It is exactly the same as the last time you were here, many months ago, on the day of the accident.

Your mother cleaned it up, of course, but it is still the same. Everything is in the exact same place, even the shoes that Nat left lying in the corner of the bookshelf. And you felt your chest tighten when the flashes of memory began.

You walked around, looking at the surroundings while Wanda followed you. A few tears streamed down your face, but you said nothing.

You were in the kitchen when the first sob escaped your throat. Leaning your hands on the counter, you dropped your keys and tried to push away the memories that were clear in your head.

It was as if you could feel Nat in the room. Seeing her in the armchair, laughing at your jokes, or being a disaster in the kitchen on nights when you tried to eat something homemade. Her books mixed in with yours on the bookshelf, your wedding and graduation pictures on the mantelpiece. 

You moved away from the counter quickly, however, as Wanda looked at you intently, unsure whether to approach or not. Walking down the hallway, you stopped in front of your bedroom door. 

And you stood there. Long minutes staring at the wood. Unable to move.

Feeling arms around your waist, you sighed, your body relaxing considerably.

Wanda hugged you from behind, and waited. You were crying again, and you only stopped after a while. Taking a deep breath, and lightly stroking Wanda's hand to ask her to let go, you waited for her to let go of you to open the door.

Wanda waited for you outside. You just walked around the room, your face wet as you breathed with difficulty, your arms crossed as if you were afraid to touch anything.

When you came out, you took a deep breath once more. And then you said you needed to call your mother.

That's how you spent the rest of the day packing up your apartment together with Wanda, your mother, and Pietro and Monica, who came to help after Wanda said you needed more people.

You came back the other day too, until the only things left were larger pieces of furniture.

"Are you sure you're going to sell?" Your mother asked you in the parking lot as soon as you left there in the late afternoon. Wanda had just gone home with her brother and sister-in-law.

"That was her apartment, Mom." You say as you put the boxes in the trunk. "I could never live here without Natasha."

"It's a good property." She comments, making you chuckle lightly.

"I'm sure the next owners will love it."

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, dear. It's just a nice apartment, not the kind of thing you get every day and..."

"Are you wanting to keep it by any chance?" You interrupt, irritated at your mother's lack of sensitivity. She sighs, and you frown.

"No. But maybe someone else wants to."

It takes a moment for you to understand what she is implying.

"You know Nat didn't talk to her family."

Your mother looks away.

"Actually..." She begins and you close the trunk with a confused expression, "I've been seeing Melina since January."

You blink in surprise, and then let out a dry laugh.

"I am speechless." You say in shock. "You...are you serious? Wow, I...wow."

You lean back against the car, impressed and annoyed. Your mother sighs guiltily, stepping in front of you again.

"Look, I know I should have had something, but you were so..."

"Sad? Yeah mom, my wife died, I had a right to be."

"That's not what I meant."

You sighed, rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, I know." You grumble. "But it sucks that you kept it from me. What the hell does Melina want anyway?"

Your mother looks away for a moment.

"She wanted to see you actually." She says and you let out a wry laugh. "I know how ridiculous it sounds, but her daughter died and you were the only remaining connection to Natasha."

You push your fingers against your forehead lightly, thinking you are starting to get a migraine from this conversation. 

"You know what, Mom?" You say. "Since you two have become such good friends lately, tell her that her chance to connect with me was lost the moment she didn't attend the funeral." 

Your mother sighs, but you are already turning to get into the car. She follows you a moment later, sitting in the passenger seat.

You drive in silence back home.

//-//

Over the weekend, you almost canceled your plans with Carol.

Your mother was giving you the silent treatment for the way you refused to talk about Natasha and Melina, and you were very irritated by the whole situation.

Grumbling about how ridiculous it all was, you agreed to have coffee with the two women the following week, and your mother's mood changed considerably, the complete opposite of what happened to you.

But you forced yourself to smile, and got up from the couch to get ready.

Around seven-thirty at night, you arrived at the place, which was already very busy, neon lights peeking through the windows along with the loud music. 

"My goodness, look at you!" Greeted Carol cheerfully as soon as you met her at the counter. She turned around to hug you tight, and you felt your chest swell with happiness. You had missed your friend so much.

"You got a haircut" You comment in the same excitement, smiling at her. "I missed you, Danvers."

She smiles, mumbling that she missed you too. She asked you to sit on one of the stools at the front of the bar, and you did so while she went back behind the counter.

You updated each other a bit as she served some customers, and a while later, Bruce arrived.

"Banner I can't believe you are wearing a suit in a nightclub." Carol teased as she greeted her friend, making you chuckle slightly as Bruce explained that he didn't have time to look more casual.

"It's good to see you." He said to you as he hugged you, you repeated the words, then sat at the bar.

A few drinks and laughs later, Carol's shift ended, and she sat at a table with you two.

Between telling your friends about your progress in therapy, and hearing how Carol had left her previous job after punching a slacker client in the face, and learning that Bruce was working as an aspiring scientist, and lecturing around the country, the three of you had enough beers for the direction of the conversation to make your cheeks flush.

"I swear to you, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen!" Carol told you, making you and Bruce laugh at her excitement. 

"Now you're going to say that the next second you saw the next most beautiful woman in the world?" You teased wryly, and Carol laughed as she told you to shut up. "Are you even dating this Gamora girl?"

Carol hid a smirk, taking a sip of her beer.

"Actually." She began. "We're living together."

You widened your eyes in surprise, and then laughed.

"My god, Carol Danvers in love!" You teased making her laugh as she flashed you her middle finger. "No, but seriously, that's amazing! I'm happy for you, Carol."

"Yes, yes." She says smiling, "But what about you? I know you and Nat were like, madly in love or whatever cheesy stuff you put in your books, but it's been months. It would be nice if you met someone new."

The topic is quite sensitive, and the mood at the table changes because of it. But you are far more embarrassed than upset, and you lower your gaze to your bottle before answering.

" Oh, well, i..." You begin half-heartedly. Your stomach does a flip-flop, because you are thinking of a person. "There is someone, I think. But I don't know if we're both ready to take that on yet."

Carol makes an agreeing noise with her mouth, and then has an insinuating little smile on her face.

"Do you still remember how to be with a girl, champ?" your friend teases, and you nudge her shoulder shyly as she and Bruce laugh.

"Aren't those things like riding a bike?" The other man asked timidly, getting a wry look from Carol.

"You know, Bruce, your innocence is admirable." Carol teases making you laugh. 

"Don't be mean." You say poking her lightly in the ribs, but Bruce doesn't really care. It's been that way since college when he told you guys he was asexual. The whole thing was funny because Carol has always been very, very sexual. And they have been teasing each other about it for years.

"Ah but I won't be, I promise." She assures. "Actually, I'm much more interested in hearing about your new girlfriend."

You laugh shyly, drinking some of your beer.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

Carol laughed, her gaze running around the room before returning to you. 

"Well, that blonde girl has been looking over here for a few moments. I have a girlfriend, and Bruce doesn't like sex. I guess you're the one who's going to have to talk to her."

You widened your eyes at your friend's words, looking forward quickly.

A blond woman was indeed staring at your table.

"I don't think that's a good idea." You mumble clumsily, and Carol gives a little laugh.

"That's too bad, because now that you've looked, she's going to come here." Your friend warns, and you choke on your beer when you see the girl actually getting up from the countertop.

"Carol, help me." You awkwardly whisper but your friend just laughs, and then the stranger catches up with you all.

"Hi." She greets sensually, looking up at you. You swallow dryly as your friend holds back a giggle. "Would you like to dance?"

"I-I..."

"Use your words." Carol teased lowly next to you, making the girl laugh at your clumsiness. 

"Don't be shy, I don't bite." The girl added maliciously. " Unless you ask me to."

You feel your face heat up with embarrassment, and you spread your mouth open, not knowing what to say next. Carol murmurs impressed.

"Sorry, sweetie, she used to function better than that." Carol interrupts the interaction, taking pity on your distress. "I think she's taken. But if it's just a dance, we can all enjoy it together."

The girl bites her lips, seeming to consider. She takes one last look at you, and then accepts the invitation.

This is how you end up on a dance floor, trying to escape the hands of a stranger. 

You remember how to dance, and the drink helps a lot. But there are hands running over your body before the woman turns around and starts rubbing against you in rhythm with the music. You feel your breath catch, the excitement of having so much intimate contact after so long reaching you completely.

"Are you sure you're taken?" She whispers against your ear, and you give a short laugh, feeling your head spin.

"Yes."  You half-heartedly assure her, using all the rest of your drunken control to push her hands away from you. 

The woman didn't mind, stealing a short kiss on your cheek before dancing away, swaying her hips.

Carol threw her arms around you next.

"Wow, you really are in love!" She enthusiastically shouts to be heard between the beats of the music. You laugh with flushed cheeks, saying you need to take some air.

Your friend continues to dance, pulling Bruce close, and the man laughs awkwardly as he puts his arms around the blonde. You chuckle at the scene before turning to go outdoors.

It is easier to breathe outside. 

Your first action is to take your cell phone out of your pocket, and check your notifications. Your heart melts when you open a message from Wanda. It is a picture of her and the boys, lying together between a comforter. The caption reads "movie night, doesn't even look like they were jumping on the couch two minutes ago".

You stare at the picture for a few seconds after sending a heart emoji to Wanda. And then you gasp softly, realizing. You really are in love with her. Like in romance movies, and fairy tale books. But also like the real thing. Because you love Wanda's company, her sharp jokes, the way she talks and behaves and cares for everyone. You don't want to be in a bar, or meet another girl. You want to be wrapped in a comforter with Wanda and the kids.

Trying not to panic at this conclusion, you put your cell phone back in your pocket, deciding to go back inside to say goodbye to your friends.

//-//

You are trying to find a way to tell Wanda how you feel. The problem is that you are insecure, because you have no idea if she is ready for a relationship again. You don't even know if she likes women.

With so much suffering in the past months, you also don't want to face a broken heart. So you decide to wait and see how things will turn out.

It is something about the way your life is completely intertwined in Wanda's now, in the same way that she has wrapped herself around your heart that makes you sigh when you think about it everything.

You are distracted while you work, and Monica smiles because you have a smirk while tinkering in the gardens, which is clearly not related to the plants. She doesn't say anything, because it's the same way Wanda smiles when you bring her coffee, or when you two come back from lunch. She can only be excited to think how it will be to organize your wedding.

It is at lunch after group therapy that Wanda invites you to her father's wedding anniversary party. You hadn't met him yet, and a party was a good thing, because you wouldn't have all his attention on you, and it lessens your anxiety considerably.

The party will be at Wanda's father's country house, and you will be able to cross the "take a trip" goal off your therapy to-do list.

In the meantime, you prepare to see Natasha's mother.

It is a Thursday, and you set aside your lunch period for this, because you really don't want this meeting to last more than an hour.

Your mother and Melina are already in the restaurant when you arrive, and you nod politely to the woman when you sit down at the table, signaling that she doesn't need to get up.

"So, what did you want?" you ask snidely, earning a scolding from your mother. Melina doesn't seem to mind your aggressiveness however.

"Let's order something to eat first please." Your mother says before the other woman can respond. You roll your eyes, not disagreeing.

After the waitress takes your orders and leaves, you cross your arms impatiently.

"Look, I know it's hard for you to hear from me after all this time..." The woman begins.

"Hard for me?" You cut her off with irony. "No, Melina. I was not the daughter you abandoned. It was just hard for Nat not to have you around. I simply don't like you myself."

"Honey" Your mother warns, but you let out a dry laugh.

"No, really." You continue firmly. "What do you really want with me?"

Melina sighs, straightening herself in her chair.

"Your mother told me that you intend to sell Natasha's apartment." She says. "I don't approve of such a decision."

You stare at her for a moment, and then let out a laugh.

"I should have known you'd only show up for the money." You say feeling your stomach turn with anger. Melina rolls her eyes, but doesn't deny it. Your mother looks surprised that you are right.

"I gave that apartment to Natasha..."

" I beg your pardon?" you interrupt angrily, your loud tone attracting the attention of the next table. "You gave her the apartment? Are you listening to yourself now?"

"We don't need to get carried away." She asked with irritation in her eyes, drawing a nasal laugh of indignation from you. "You know I'm right."

"No, Melina." You retort seriously, lowering your tone. "Clarify for me how you can possibly think that putting an apartment full of debt in your daughter's name to escape the state, making her work two shifts to pay for everything, sets up like giving an apartment to someone?"

"You are manipulating the facts." She hits back and you nod in disbelief, closing your eyes momentarily. "I had financial problems, and Nat didn't object when I suggested..."

"She was 15." You cut in. "You forgot that little detail right? You also forgot about going to the guardianship board to emancipate your 15 year old daughter just so she could take on a debt of yours?" You asked angrily. "Oh, did you forget about Nat working in a diner throughout her teenage years to pay for everything?"

Melina clenched her jaw, glaring at you angrily. You really weren't in the least bit of patience for this conversation, and it was a good thing the waitress arrived with your orders, because you were about to turn the table.

"I am not hungry anymore." You grumble as soon as the waitress leaves and you look down at your food, your stomach turning. Then you look forward. "When I sell the apartment, I will talk to your lawyer and if you are entitled to anything, you can rest assured that it will come in the mail. Now do me a favor, and never look for me again." 

After saying these words to Melina, you exchange a quick glance with your mother and get up, walking to the exit.

//-//

You are pretty upset about the whole Melina thing, but your mood improves almost immediately when Wanda invites you to visit her. 

Actually, she needs help with the kids, because she's busy with a rich lady's wedding that required priority on the flower project, and the summer vacation started that week.

Monica was helping Wanda with the whole design, so you and Pietro would take care of the kids.

It was quite fun to do it, because you loved children. Pietro even had the bright idea of setting up a little lemonade stand outside Wanda's house, and while the other women were working, you and he took the kids outdoors.

"Don't you think a million dollars is a lot of money for a glass of lemonade, Billy?" you ask the boy as you watch him put several zeros on the price cardboard. Pietro laughs as he helps his daughter pin up her hair.

"I don't know." The kid tells you without stopping drawing. "I'm a kid, I've never paid anything."

You laugh, looking forward. You and Pietro are sitting on chairs placed on the grass while the children play around the lemonade stand. 

When some of the neighbors buy the lemonade, you tell Billy that a gold coin is worth a million, and he doesn't argue.

The temperature rises considerably throughout the day, and around two in the afternoon you and Pietro decide that it would be good to take the kids swimming.

"Call the wives please." Pietro says to you as you stand in the living room after you two walk back in and put everything away, and he is helping the children put on bathing suits. You feel your face heat up at the innocent insinuation of Wanda being your wife, but you say nothing and he doesn't even seem to notice.

You knock on the door, then enter the office, and smile at the two women inside, who seemed to be concentrating on their own papers.

"Let's go for a quick swim girls?" You ask, ignoring the way your stomach gets butterflies when Wanda looks up at you. 

Monica lets out an excited exclamation.

"Yes, please!" She says. "This room feels like an oven!"

You and Wanda laugh, and you make room for Monica to walk past you. 

"Any chance you have a bathing suit in my size?" You ask Wanda next, and she bites back a smile, thoughtful.

"Let 's find out."

//-//

It is only upstairs that you realize that you have never been in Wanda's bedroom before.

All the times you have been here, you were reserved for the living room, the kitchen and the office. Except for the times you were in the twins' bedroom, and well, when you used the bathroom.

You stood still a bit past the entrance, not knowing exactly what to do with your hands as Wanda searched the closets for a bathing suit for you.

"You know you can look around right?" Wanda commented with playfulness in her speech, making you chuckle shyly.

Stepping forward, you twiddled your fingers together nervously as you looked around. You smiled at the decorations, and especially at the pictures on the dresser. 

"Damn, I think I only have one pair." Wanda grumbled as she closed the closet, turning to you next, a swimsuit in her hands. "Do you want to wear it?"

You smiled wryly.

"Not if it's the only one you have." You say. "Don't worry, I'll keep my T-shirt on."

"Don't be silly, it's really hot outside. I'll lend you a bra." 

Wanda leaves her swimsuit on the bed and walks over to the dresser behind you. You step aside to give her room to open the drawers.

You look quickly away from the underwear drawer, feeling your heart race at the intimacy of this moment. It only gets worse when Wanda hands you a black sports top, which she is glad to have found.

"Thank you, Wands." You mutter as you accept the garment. 

You widen your eyes as Wanda begins to unbutton the shirt she is wearing, but before you have a heart attack, she flashes you a small smile and picks up the swimsuit from the bed, turning toward the bathroom as she uses her free hand to keep the shirt closed.

You take advantage of Wanda's exit to quickly take your shirt off, put on the top and then the T-shirt over it.

A moment later she returns, and your breath catches in your throat.

"This swimsuit has a tie in the back, can you help me with that?" Wanda asks distractedly as she tucks her hair into a bun. You swallow dryly, trying to keep your gaze off her exposed legs. 

Wanda stands facing the dresser, watching you approach through the mirror. You ignore your uncompensated heartbeat as you stare back at her, and let out a shy smile as you lower your gaze when you notice her flushed cheeks as you stand right behind her.

Raising your fingers to the height of her back, you gently touch the skin exposed by the opening of her swimsuit. The contact makes every inch of the woman's skin shiver in front of you, and she sighs softly, the sound making your stomach turn.

You risk looking forward again, at your reflection, only to find Wanda's mouth ajar, her eyes dark. You risk dragging your fingers further inside the fabric, making her choke lightly.

Completely mesmerized by the way Wanda's body responds to your touch, you raise your other hand, trailing a finger up from the length of her coccyx to the opening of her swimsuit, watching Wanda close her fists as her cheeks redden.

You can hear the sounds of her uncompensated breathing, but you can also hear the muffled laughter from the distance downstairs, and that motivates you enough to ignore the trembling of your fingers as you zip up Wanda's swimsuit.

"W-we should go downstairs." You whisper in a hoarse voice, ignoring the urge to rip off Wanda's swimsuit. 

The redhead swallows dryly before slowly turning toward you. Your faces are so close that you can feel her breath on your cheek.

"I..."

"Mommy why are you taking so long?" Billy's muffled scream coming from the backyard through the window makes you and Wanda jump in fright. 

Pietro and Tommy repeat the same sentence next, and you clear your throat, taking a step back. Wanda can't keep her gaze on you as you both walk down to the pool outside.

You can only distract yourself from the feel of Wanda's skin on your fingers because you play in the pool with everyone, and these thoughts are pushed to the back of your mind for the rest of the afternoon.

It is only when you have to leave, after the children have had a bath, and are dressed in comfortable clothes in front of the television, and you have hugged Monica and Pietro goodbye that these thoughts come flooding back when you have to repeat the gesture with Wanda.

You disguise yourself, smiling politely at the couple standing behind the redhead as you let your arms circle her waist as you hug her. Resisting the urge to close your eyes and sink your face into Wanda's neck, who has her hands on your shoulders, you hold back a sigh as you pull away.

"See you on Monday." You murmur in a husky voice, and the redhead nods, her gaze falling quickly to your lips.

You think you'd better get in the car before you lose control of your body.

//-//

Startled slightly, you opened your eyes with difficulty. Someone was calling you, but it must have been very late, because you couldn't see anything in the room but the blinking light on your dresser.

Grumbling, you stretched your arm out to reach for your vibrating cell phone and answer the call.

"Hello?" you asked in a voice hoarse from sleep, closing your eyes again.

"Hey, sorry to wake you." It was Wanda, and her whiny voice made you open your eyes quickly, worried. 

"Wanda? Did something happen?"

"Yeah." She agrees, sniffling softly. "I just... I'm so sad. The whole fucking time. Then Tony came over and started saying these things and now I'm crying and I can't stop. I'm sorry, it's not your problem, I shouldn't have called and..."

"I'm coming."

You think Wanda tried to say something to stop you, but you ended the call as you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Your mother asked as soon as you came downstairs, and you were startled to find her awake, but you didn't ask as you noticed the laptop in your lap.

"Wanda." You mumble simply, looking for your keys.

"Kitchen countertop." She informed and you muttered a thank you as you picked up the item from the mentioned spot. "You know, if you're going to start leaving the house at dawn to see her, it might be best to move in with her."

You chuckled awkwardly at the comment as you put on your shoes.

"Try to get some sleep, work will still be there in the morning." You tell her to change the subject, and your mother sighs, turning her attention back to the screen. "You don't have to wait up for me."

"Oh, I figured." She teases last making you roll your eyes in embarrassment before opening the door to leave.

//-//

You didn't have to knock on the door, because as soon as you parked the car and got out, you had a view of the outside garden porch, and you could see Wanda sitting on the rocking bench, looking at the ground.

You sighed, opening the garden gate to enter the backyard.

Making a noise with your feet so as not to startle her, you felt your heart squeeze as she wiped her tears away quickly, turning her head to the side. You sighed, taking a seat on the bench in front of her, rocking it slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You asked a moment later, and from the redhead's silence, you figured not. But she nodded next, looking down at her own feet. "Tell me what happened then."

It takes a moment, but Wanda speaks. She tells how Tony Stark showed up at her door at three in the morning, saying that he blamed himself for his brother death but that this was a good thing now because it was exactly what he needed to change his life and stop drinking, and that she punched him in the nose, saying that this was always his problem, everything was always about him. Tony promised that he would be someone decent now, that he was going to change, and Wanda just pushed him away, telling him to go change somewhere else.

"I feel like the worst person in the world right now." She grumbles as soon as she finishes narrating. 

"Why?"

"Tony has been an alcoholic since he was fifteen, and he's finally getting better. I think he was in need of someone to help him."

You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

"And why is that your problem?" you retorted, surprising her. "Wanda you are under no obligation to suppress your feelings to make others feel better. You have every right to feel angry with Tony. And to not want him in your life again."

Wanda takes a deep breath, burying her face in her hands for a moment, as if trying to believe your words.

You bit the inside of your cheek, deciding whether to speak what you wanted to.

"Wands?" You called after her, and she looked at you. "You said you were sad. Do you want to talk about that too?"

The redhead looks away from you, a weak smile on her lips. 

"I don't know how to talk about it really." She starts by looking down at her feet. "I never did."

You wait, stretching your leg out and lightly tapping your feet together with her on the floor. Wanda smiles at the movement, and then bites her lips.

"I think it started when I was a kid." She counters thoughtfully, her gaze straying to the yard around her. "Ever since mama died, or maybe before. There's this sadness, stuck in my chest. And no matter what I do, it won't go away." 

You listen intently, waiting for Wanda to finish.

"When I was younger, Papa worked all day and Mama took care of me and Pietro. But she got sick, and granny came to live with us to help. I was ten when she died, and Pietro's anxiety got worse." She swallows dryly, as if the memories are choking her. "Granny didn't know how to help my brother, so I took care of him myself. And when we were in high school, she got sick too. And well, Dad didn't know what to do really, so I took care of her at home while he and Pietro worked to pay for the medications." She adds, and sniffles lightly. "I just remember being tired. All the damn time. I'd go to school, and come home, and I'd eat, and play, and watch TV, but I wasn't really there. I started to think that's how everybody else felt, because I had a normal life, and I had no reason to feel sad."

You frown slightly, but bite your tongue to keep from interrupting.

"Grandma died just before I graduated, and I barely had time to miss her, busy with college applications, and taking care of the funeral at the same time." She counters with a wry laugh, as if realizing how unfair it was that she was left to take care of everything by herself. "And then I met Vis, and he was sweet and kind and he was everything anyone could want. The perfect boyfriend, perfect friend, and brother and husband. So I choked down that sadness, because it wasn't fair that I was with someone so amazing, and I wasn't satisfied." She recounts as she lets the tears flow. "When the twins came, everyone told me that my life was complete. That children were exactly what everyone wanted, and that I had the perfect life. So I kept that image."

Wanda raises her hand to wipe away a tear that ran down her cheek, but others kept falling next.

 "With Vis's death, everything started to fall apart on me." She says after a pause, biting her lips slightly to hold back the crying. She lets out a nasal laugh next. "But I wasn't going to let that happen, so I gathered the pieces together. I put a smile on my face and continued to be the mother my children needed. And then I met you."

You frown in confusion, but Wanda does not look at you. She runs her hands through her hair, shaking her head slightly.

"You came into my life at its worst possible moment. And all you did was make me feel better again." Wanda declared with a sigh, and you felt your cheeks heat up, looking away to your feet. "You don't expect me to be happy, or polite, or sociable. You don't care that I get cranky and irritable, that I wanted to skip work or eat junk food." She counters, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I feel like I can breathe again, because when you look at me you don't judge me like everyone else. You just listen, and observe. And take care of me."

You sigh, impacted by the intensity of the confessions. You think that if you keep quiet long enough, Wanda can hear your heart beating fast.

The redhead takes a deep breath, twisting her fingers slightly before speaking again.

"That's why I called." She counters in a sigh. Her eyes fill with tears again, but she doesn't let them fall. "You've been the only person who makes me feel this way. And when Tony came along I felt I was drowning into those terrible thoughts again. I needed you to pull me back up."

You raise your head to Wanda, but she is looking down at the floor, her cheeks flushed. You smile, rising to sit beside her.

"I will." You whisper as you interlace your fingers, looking forward. Wanda stares at your entwined hands before leaning her head on your shoulder.

"Thank you." She murmurs a moment later. 

"Don't mention it." You reply in the same tone.

You stand like this for many minutes, Wanda wiggling your fingers together. You are about to close your eyes when a childish voice startles you a little.

"Mommy?" it's Billy, dressed in adorable teddy bear pajamas, scratching his eyes sleepily. "Why are you out here?"

Wanda looks at him in surprise. 

"Come here dear." Wanda asks signaling with her free hand for Billy to approach. The boy yawns, walking over to you two. You mess up his hair as Wanda releases her hand to sit her son on her own lap.

"Why are you here, Y/N?" The boy asks sleepily, making you and Wanda smile at how cute he looks. 

"I am a friend of your mother's, Billy, I come whenever she needs me." You reply with a smile, trying not to be affected by the way Wanda looks at you.

"You should come more often, y/n. Mom is happy when you are around." Billy declares causing Wanda to let out a surprised exclamation, and you feel your heart race.

"Oh, really?" You tease with a little smile, and Wanda pushes her shoulder against yours lightly. "I promise I'll visit more often then."

"You can live here!" Billy exclaims excitedly next, making you laugh in surprise. 

"Don't be silly, Billy." Wanda adds embarrassed. "We don't have a room."

"She can sleep with you mommy." Billy retorts as if it's obvious, "Daddy's not here anymore, and your bed is too big, because it fits Tommy and me together!"

You swallow dryly, surprised and embarrassed at the way Billy is casual above all, but mostly worried that this comparison might have hurt Wanda. But she lets out a little laugh, shaking her head.

"It's time for bed, enough of this talk" Wanda warns the boy next, getting up with him on her lap.

You accompany the two of them into the house, waiting until Wanda comes downstairs after putting Billy to bed.

Billy's words in your head were still echoing when Wanda suggested that you sleep in her bed after she came downstairs, and part of you wanted to, but you figured that night wasn't the best time. So you slept on the couch, and left after breakfast, ignoring how warm your chest felt at the image of the table with Wanda and the twins having coffee.

//-//

Your first stop after leaving Wanda's house was the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, you stared at the memorial stone in the ground. The small photograph of Natasha carved into the stone. 

"I miss you, pchelka" You whispered softly, leaving your hands in your pockets as you looked down. Your chest hurt less than the first time you came here, but the pain was still there. You imagined that it always would be. "I won't ever stop. But I want to live again. I hope you won’t be mad at me, from wherever you are, and understand that."

Part of you knew that Natasha would be happy for you. It was one of the reasons you loved her so much.

Kneeling down, you pulled out of your pocket the items you had left in the car's glove box a few days ago, planning to do this since the day of the bar.

" This belongs to you." You whispered, after digging in the grass next to the headstone, and pulling out of the small wrapping your wedding rings. You placed the metal in the dirt, along with the daffodil seeds you brought with you. Using some of the water from the bottle you had in your hands, you watered after burying the items. "Rest in peace, my love."

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wandaxyou #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x you #wanda x yn #wanda maximoff x you #marvel imagines #sorry for your loss

[bubsdolan]

Woah!!! Part 2 to Reader getting in an accident after an arguement with Gray???

{part 1}

there were many moments in grayson dolan’s 21 years on earth where he felt incredibly blessed to have a twin brother, especially one like ethan. from being his best friend and number one supporter in anything, to sharing food and girl advice, learning and growing together and being grayson’s right hand man through life,  he had never been more grateful to have ethan by his side in this moment. 

that and the fact ethan had purchases a car that can exceed a speed of up to 199.5 mph, meant they wasted no time in getting grayson to the hospital to be reunited with you.

as he sat in the passenger seat, legs bouncing uncontrollably with fear and anxiousness, tears softly rolling down his cheeks, he clutched tightly to the stuffed animal in his hands. a sight for anyone who would laugh at a 200 pound man, crying and cuddling a teddy. 

petal, your stuffed elephant, was a childhood teddy your mother had given you the day you were born. you never slept without petal, she was a third wheel in your relationship with grayson as she offered you the same comfort he did every night being away from family home. home was anywhere grayson was, but petal was also a piece of the family you left behind when staffing a new life with the man you loved.

grayson knew you better than anyone and he could guarantee that when you woke up, because he wholeheartedly knew you were- his strong brave girl and you couldn't leave him- that petal would be the first thing you would want to see as much as his angel eyes. the stuffed animal also brought grayson a sense of comfort and reassurance having her with him. 

grayson didn't even allow ethan the chance to drive into the car park of the emergency room before he was taking off and sprinting to the reception desk. teddy in hand as he panted out your first and last name. shocking the nurse at his panicked state, dishevelled appearance and the continuous fidgeting on the heels of his feet. 

“y/n-y/n y/l/n… she’s in a coma. pleas-please i need to see her. she needs- she needs me.” 

“may i ask your relationship to the patient?” 

growing impatient, grayson raises his temper to the next level. the longer he was kept away from you, the more agitated he became.

“my girlfriend is fighting for her life right now! i need to see her, i don’t have time for this!”

“bro-” ethan came running in, throwing the tesla in the first available space before jogging after his fragile brother and coming to be the calm, sensible one in this situation. “let me handle it.”

reluctantly grayson stood off to the side, his ears perking and eyes desperately following every patient being rushed through the automatic doors, every doctor or nurse walking past him with sympathetic looks. he hoped someone would tell him what's going on and where you were. the waiting game was torture, but it was only just beginning. 

“they’re gonna take us to her now, c’mon.” ethan pulls grayson down the maze like corridors to where the receptionist who he had to apologise profusely for his twins attitude earlier, lead them to the room where apart of grayson was fighting for her life. fighting for his life. he was nothing without you. 

ethan let grayson walk in first, accidentally colliding into the back of grayson as he stood frozen outside the door and mentally prepared himself for a sight he never wished to see. his breathing hitched as he took in the sight of you battered and braised. covered head to toe in a mixture of dirt, dried blood and bandages, as the only thing keeping you alive right now were the medical tubes swarming your precious body. 

grayson felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside him. he couldn’t help but feel tears well up in his eyes, imagining how bad your accident had been to the point where you were put into a coma and how he wasnt there to protect you like he has always promised. he pictured how scared you must have been, all alone and defenceless.

with rushed but easy strides, grayson was at your side before ethan even got the chance to thank the nurse and follow behind. not wanting to cause you any further pain or discomfort, grayson gently placed petal under your arm, keeping her close to your body and secure so you wouldn't lose her even in your unconscious state. with a shakey breath, he plants a soft kiss on yours then petals forehead, his own slient way of commciaing to you that he was there. that you had nothing to worry about because he was finally there to protect you. 

“hey my sweet girl. im right here, im here and i love you. so much.”

“fight for me yeah? for us.”

grayson automatically took the seat next to your hospital bed, reaching forward to hold your hand kindly in his own as he vowed to himself he wouldn’t leave your beside until you woke up. no matter how long it was going to take. weeks, months, years, he was willing to wait for you. 

grayson vividly remembered being told that the brain of a coma patient may continue to work. it might “hear” the sounds in the environment, like the footsteps of someone approaching or the voice of a loved one speaking. he made sure to continually talk to you about everything and anything on his mind. referencing back to the time you would take late night drives and talk about life hand in hand and contently in love.

when discussing your future together on a late night monty’s run, this definitely wasn’t how he envisioned it would turn out to be. what once was a shared dream, was now a shared nightmare.

“e’s here too.”

“hey squirt.” ethan felt stupid speaking aloud to someone who wouldn't respond to him, but the small smile it coaxed on grayson’s face, after hours of sadness, made it worth while. grayson always valued the sibling friendship you and ethan shared. he didn’t even pause for a minute to think about your accident had affected him also, until he hard the nickname ethan often uses to tease you.

swallowing the lump in his throat, grayson spoke up again. 

“im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i meant nothing i said earlier, fuck im an idiot. i love you baby, always and forever.”

“we aren't going anywhere you hear me. you come back to us ok, show me those pretty eyes of yours baby. let me hear your laugh, let me see your smile, you gotta wake up for me- please wake up for me.”

grayson begged and pleaded with your unresponsive body. the sound of your heart rate monitor being the only sign you gave him as his eyes focused on your lifeless body. desperately hoping for so much as a flinch from you or a miracle to happen.

he caressed your hand slowly, continuing to cry silently as he looked over to you, feeling like this was all his fault. “i’m sorry” he choked out, resting his head down against the back of your hand. “this is all my fault. i’m so sorry baby.”

grayson wish you could say something back, even if it was to spite him and call him out for his outburst hours earlier. he just wanted to hear your voice again.

“grayson, none of this was your fault!” ethan was quick to jump to grayson’s defence, hating the way his brother was beating himself up over something that was out of his control. ethan feared how grayson would react if the worst case scenario of turning your life support machine off would happen. it didn’t bare to think about.

hearing a knock at the door, grayson wiped his tears quickly before turning to see the doctor was approaching grayson with a warm smile. grayson felt a sense of relief finally meeting the incredible man tasked with saving your life.

“here’s some personal belongings that they recovered at the scene. this seemed to be the only thing to survive the terrible ordeal.” he said, handing grayson an all to familiar box of the watch brand he had non stop being gushing about.

as the doctor made his swift exit, promising to return shortly and check on your progress, grayson opened the box to reveal the item that causes you to end up where you were right now. with no pieces of his heart left to break, grayson felt numb.

the engraving of the date grayson first told you he loves you, joined together by your pairing initials, elegantly graced the under face of the watch. he swapped his old one with the new, staring down at the jewellery on his wrist that held a brand new meaning from the simple pleasure of owning it, he planned to never take it off. 

everything seem to make sense now. the guy in the scandalous photo become Crystal clear as he recognised him to be the gentlemen from his brief encounter when trying to surprise ethan with a housewarming gift. much like what you were doing for grayson. he realised it now, when it was too late.

you never cheated on him. you never betrayed him. never used him. he discredited the great lengths you went to in order to surprise him with his dream watch. his own insecurities and the fact he was easily manipulated by twitter fingers and his so called fans, may be the reason you never wake up. 

was this watch the only thing to survive the accident? grayson was about to find out.

{part 3}

#bubsdolan #grayson dolan #grayson #grayson dolan blurb #grayson blurb #grayson dolan imagine #grayson imagine #grayson dolan angst #grayson angst #grayson dolan concept #grayson concept #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson fanfic #grayson dolan fluff #grayson fluff #grayson dolan x reader #grayson x reader #dolan twins #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins concept #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fluff #dolan twins angst #dolan twins x reader #dolan twins fanfic

[shadyteacup]

Congrats on 300 followers! You really deserve it cuz you're so talented and amazing. Can I request a angst prompt 11 with dazai thank you ❤️

Hola amigo! Thanks sm :D

Here's some sad angst... n no, it doesn't have a fluffy end... :(

Osamu Dazai + “Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it.”

Warnings: Angst, strong language. || Word count: somewhere around 1600, ig..

Get Out

You were an observant person. You were pretty sharp and thoughtful. You weren’t dumb. In fact, you were smarter than the average John or Jane Doe. You never ignored any signs or forewarnings that your brain threw at you. You always reported if something seemed fishy. You have never ignored someone’s wrong doings before.

But then again, there’s a first time for everything.

Sighing, you opened the door for your boyfriend.

“Hey.”

You said as you turned around almost immediately, ignoring his smile. Walking inside, you sat back at your desk, resuming your work.

Dazai stepped in, confused and worried. He had a lot on his mind as of late. He had to maintain a perfect balance between home and work, and it was taking a toll on his wellbeing. He hoped it wasn’t affecting your mental state. Maybe seeing him depressed all the time was lowering your spirits? He dearly hoped that wasn’t the case, for he was trying really hard to relieve his stress before coming home. He tried his best to stay happy and come home with a smile.

He threw his coat on the couch, kicking his shoes off and getting himself a glass of water. He was tired and parched.

As he gulped down the heavenly liquid, he observed you from the corner of his eye. You were staring at the screen, hands frozen above the keyboard. You were thinking about something. It worried him. Your random zone out sessions made him question his behaviour. Was he being rude or mean to you? Was he the cause of your constant worry?

“Y/N?”, he called out to you, trying to get you to snap out of it.

You flinched slightly, peering at him through your lashes.

“Hmm?”

He walked over to hug you from behind, but you got up, effectively avoiding him.

“What’s wrong?”

He furrowed his brows, reaching out to grab onto your sleeve.

You froze at the contact.

“Why don’t you get changed? We can have dinner then.”

Dazai held onto you, determined to get an answer out of you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”

“I ordered Thai food today. Its from that new restraint around the corner. Riddhi really recommends it.”

“Stop ignoring me. And who’s Riddhi?”

“My friend. You haven’t met her.”

You tried pulling out of his grasp, but he pulled you forward, holding onto both your arms, now.

“Look at me. Y/N.”

You sighed, avoiding his gaze.

“Why don’t you get changed? I’ve picked out a shirt for you. It’s on the bed.”

Dazai was fed up with your aloof behaviour. You had been acting strange and distant for weeks now. Everyday was the same. He would come home to you acting weird, you would ask him to change, and only then would you let him touch you. He was tired of this bullshit. He had tried asking you politely and patiently, but every time you evaded his questions. He was done with beating around the bush.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? What the hell have I even done?!”

He shook you, trying to pry an answer from you.

“Answer me! Tell me! What is it? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can figure it out. But you must tell me first. You have to speak. Say something!”

You ignored him, looking down at the carpeted floor.

Dazai sighed, letting go of your arms.

“Do you even care about us?”, he asked you.

“Tell me you don’t want to leave. Say I’m enough to make you stay. I know it’s not true, but please just say it”.

You whispered.

Dazai stared at you, confused.

“Of course, you’re enough. Tell me if you care. Do you even love me?”

You stepped back, trying to control your emotions.

“You’re the one going around fucking others. Unlike you, I actually care, Dazai.”

You whispered, afraid to look him in the eye. It had been weeks since you had smelled that perfume on him. It was sweeter than his own but had a musky undertone to it. That, paired with the random marks all over his body, was enough to convince you that he was having an affair. He was smart; he had tried subduing the perfume by carrying his own cologne with him and reapplying it after the deed was done. Whoever he was with probably supported him, as they always bit near the marks you had left. Your marks and their marks coincided.

Only you knew which marks were fresh and which were old. They didn’t know this, and often nipped at partially healed skin, reviving the bruise and giving it a nasty purple hue. That was a clear indication.

What disgusted you is that the person Dazai was sleeping with knew that he was cheating on his partner, and was supporting him by playing along with his plans.

The extra hours were also a clear give away. You had even called Yosano and Kunikida to ensure that the agency had called it a day. Both of them had told you that everyone had left the office, while your boyfriend claimed to be in a client meeting with Kunikida.

It was laughable how incompetent he considered you to be. Did he really think his half assed attempts at covering up would fool you?

“What the hell are you saying-”

“Don’t act dumb. I’m not stupid, you know that.”

Dazai continued his act, hoping to prove you wrong by putting it all on you.

“I’m a loyal partner, Y/N. Just because I’ve been having more work load lately, doesn’t mean you go around assuming shit about me. I honestly thought you were better than this.”

You sighed, finally meeting his gaze.

The dead look in them proved to him that he was caught. He could not do anything to fool you. You knew.

“It started three weeks ago, on Monday. You went to work at eight, came home around eleven. Work hours end at 6. You were smelling different. It was distinct. You never wear perfumes that have a sweet undertone.”

You stared at him dead in the eye, shutting him up with your gaze. He would not dare to come up with stupid excuses. Not with you looking at him like that.

“You had a hickey on your neck, on a spot that I hadn’t covered. You tried covering it up with makeup, but it wore off pretty quick. Ever since then, you have been visiting your secret friend daily. I’m guessing you go at least three rounds, since you come home so tired.”

“That’s just disgusting!”

“I thought so too. But it does tire you, doesn’t it? That’s the reason you come home so worn out. You go around having sex, and you’ve been trying to hide it from me for three weeks now. Tell me I’m wrong.”

His lack of reaction and the look of guilt plastered all over his face was as loud as a confession.

“Whoever it is, is blonde.”

He looked at you shocked.

“How-”

“I found strands all over your coat.”

He rubbed his forehead with his palm.

“You like them, don’t you? Its not just physical, is it?”

You asked with a sad smile.

“How do you know all this?”, he asked, devastated at the fact that you knew everything going on.

“I know you too well. I actually paid attention to our relationship. I cared.”

He ran a hand through his messy locks. He had been so stressed lately, he had to find an outlet. He wasn’t one to stay in any relationship for long, but he actually cared about you. He hadn’t meant to hurt you, which is why is never broke up with you. He was bored of the thing you both shared, but he knew that you cared. So, he pretended to be equally invested.

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because I wanted to continue this thing for as long as I could. But not anymore. I’m done.”

He widened his eyes at you. He had not expected you to end this. He might have been bored, but he still cared for you. He loved you. He didn’t want to let go yet.

“Y/N, we can work this out. Please don’t leave.”

He begged you, trying to come closer to you. You stepped back.

“Please don’t. I can’t handle your smell. That scent repels me.”

He gasped, finally realising why you didn’t let him touch you.

“The perfume is a constant reminder of my...”

“Yeah.”

“And you tolerated all that, for so long. All for us.”

You nodded, turning away.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Thanks to your intense questioning, I’m finally free.”

“It doesn’t have to end, Y/N! We can work this out!”

“No, we can’t. I’m not enough for your boredom, and I’m not willing to become someone else just to please you.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, please don’t- ”

You smiled bitterly at him, before opening the door of your apartment, signalling to him.

“Get out, and only come back to get your stuff. Goodbye, Osamu.”

This story features one of my close friends, Riddhi. I had fallen short of names to use n though why not write about an actual friend? She's not on tumblr, unfortunately. Damn I miss going out with her... anyways, hope u liked it! N sorry for the rant :p

#shady☕ #shadyteacup event #shadyteacup #bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs dazai #bsd x reader #☕ says #kunikida doppo #bungou stray dogs angst #bsd angst #hanimehub #bsd imagines #bsd anime #dazai angst #osamu dazai angst #bsd dazai #dazai bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai x you #dazai smut #dazai san #dazai+x+reader #dazai osamu x reader #bungou sd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader

[siimjaeyun]

blue bag- jay park

genre: fluff, angst, bad boy au

tw: street violence, mentions of gangs

-------

Jay's reputation at Belift wasn't exactly a secret to most people. The loose uniform with the leather jacket, covered bruises, and exposed tattoos were noticeable to anyone who bothered to pay attention.

Most people would like to assume to not judge him by his appearance, but his character matched it to a tea. He never bothered to give anyone the time of the day, much less even look in their direction. The only people who received such privileges were his closest six friends.

Or anyone who dared to cross his path- including the slight punches he's thrown at the occasional classmate.

But people couldn't see behind his intentions. Like the time he almost beat one of uppers to a pulp when they tried picking on jungwon his first year. All good intentions.

On this fateful day, the teacher had thought a slight change would mix things up. Instead of placing Jay in the back by himself like usual, he placed him right beside you.

"Hi Jay!" Your warm welcome startled him to say the least. Sure, he was used to love letters by other girls, but you didn't really look at him that way.

He stayed silent and placed his head back onto the desk. At the end of class, you bid him goodbye and walked out with your friends who seemed to tattle over him almost immediately.

-------

After yet again another argument with the rivaling gang leader, he finds himself cornered in the back of an alley way. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to think you could fight five men at once.

Tired, and out of breath, he's barely holding onto himself before there's a final blow to his lower stomach, collapsing onto the ground before him.

The men are about to approach him, this time, aiming towards his back, but retreat at the sounds of a siren.

"Here, hurry! They might come back." He looks up and finds it's you, carrying a bag in one hand and reaching out towards him with the other.

"Get lost." Jay, who is too stubborn to ask for help, attempts to get up before his knees give up on him.

"You can't walk. Stop being a bitch and let me help you." You swing his arm over your shoulder, and pull him up, guiding him towards the exit of alley way. At the closest convenience store, you rest him on a bench, bringing a towel to his face to wipe off the blood from his brow and lip.

"How did you see me?" He barely manages to ask.

"I didn't know it was you until I saw your face, which is very beat up by the way." He observes quietly and patiently waits for you retreat the towel from his face, slowly admiring the way you move your eyebrows while humming a small beat. 

“I’m done. I’ll call a taxi to take you home so you can finish up. I’m going to assume this isn’t the first time you get beat up.” Jay, snapping back to reality, stands up quickly and blocks your view of the street. 

“I can manage. Now go home.” He nods towards the direction of the grand city. 

“You can barely walk. Either I take you home, or text someone to come pick you up.” Jay immediately takes the second option, and searches quickly for his phone before realizing he must of left at it home. 

“Go ahead, call the taxi.” He mutters under his breath. The bright lights signal to him that he has arrived, and in silence, you drop him off, and leave, not letting Jay even look back and say a quick ‘thank you.’ 

----- 

If Jay didn’t know any better, it’s almost as if nothing had occurred yesterday. He’s still wearing his black mask to cover up his bruises, but you walked in with a smile and the same welcome from the past two weeks. 

Usually, he would turn the other way or not even bother to look at you, but his slight nod was reassurance enough. 

At the end of class, he was almost the last to leave, given that he had woken up from napping the entire class. Rather than seeing the empty room he was used to waking up in, he saw you again in front of him, holding a blue bag. 

“Here. Eat well okay?” You left the bag onto his desk and walked out again before he could respond. He stuffed the bag into his backpack and went towards the lunch room he was used to meeting his friends in. 

“Jay’s late and beat up. What a surprise.” Sunoo’s snarky comment doesn’t catch him off guard, and instead pulls out the blue bag from his backpack and rests it on the table. 

“Oh? Jay brought lunch? Quick, let’s rate his cooking skills.” Before Jay can react, Heeseung had already snatched it from the table, pulling out a Tupperware with a sticky note on top. 

“Who’s y/n? And why did she call you a loser?” Heeseung asks, opening the container to a bento box. 

“No one, now give it back.” Jay takes back the container, almost admiring the contents inside. 

It was the first time his heart began to take notice of you. 

----- 

Everyone was quickly suspicious about Jay’s relationship with you. It all started with him publicly going to you and thanking you for the food. Then it was the constant good mornings when you would welcome him at the beginning of class. Then it was the morning coffee, and walking you to class in the morning. He was practically stuck to you when he wasn’t with his friends. 

“You know, I think Jay likes you.” One of your friends mentioned casually, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Stop taking those rumors too seriously, he’s just paying back a favor.”

Yet, your friends weren’t the only ones who were beginning to notice. Most noticeably, Jay’s very own friends. 

“Sunghoon, I don’t like her, so can you shut up?” Jay, almost irritated by the constant confusion of emotions. 

“So, you wouldn’t mind her being so close with Sunoo?” Jake points at your direction. You laughing and trying to hold yourself together while punching Sunoo in the arm. 

“No. Of course not." Yet, he still finds himself burning holes into Sunoo's skull as he sees you wrap an arm around his neck to pull him into a head lock.

It seemed as if that was the last straw because in the next moment, Sunghoon was attempting to prevent Jay's next big mess.

"Get your hands off him." Jay commands, catching not only your attention, but those around him as well.

"Relax Jay, she's just playing around." Sunoo gets himself out of the head lock, and looks at your face who's been cleared of any laughter.

"I'll see you later Sunoo." You can't even look at Jay in the eyes before walking off with another friend.

"What's wrong with you? You know she wasn't hurting me!"

"Don't talk to me right now Sunoo." Jay storms off in the opposite direction while Sunoo turns his head to the side at Sunghoon.

"Am I going to die?"

"Not yet anyway. I think if you stay off y/n, maybe it'll extend your life line." Sunghoon states honestly.

"What do you think would happen if I told him she's my cousin?"

"I don't know but I've never seen Jay so..like this. Its a good look on him."

However, Jay is his full fledged rage, begins to shove everyone in his way including a poor freshman who happens to fall in front of your locker.

"Jay what the fuck!? Are you okay?" You crouch down and reach your hand out, giving Jay a bitter feeling.

"Is this how you catch men? You pretend to be the good guy?"

"Excuse me?" You repeat, shocked at Jay's sudden attitude.

"Nevermind just stay away from me? Got it?" You don't even process the words before he dashes off, ignoring his friends who are attempting to catch his attention.

"Sunghoon, what's his issue ?" Sunghoon only let's out a heavy sigh before shrugging his shoulders.

"It's not my business, but I can assure you that anger won't end well."

-----

And it just so happens that Sunghoon's response was quiet accurate considering Jay's familiar situation. He's been long enough member of his gang to know what territories they're not exactly welcomed.

Yet, he doesn't care and does so anyway because anything is better than having to imagine you with some one else.

"Haven't seen you in a while Jay, must have been busy hmm." The leader mocks him, but it only infuriates the pent up anger within him causing him to land a punch at his gut.

"Don't test me." And as if history repeats itself, he finds himself once more cornered in the back of an alley way. With the collection of bruises forming on his stomach, one could tell he was a kick or two away from a good surgery.

"Jay! Stop!" He curses himself mentally when he watches you run towards him.

"You better leave pretty one...I mean unless..." He approaches you, reaching for your chin to tilt it sidewards, leading to Jay using his last strength to push him off you.

"Don't touch her." Jay grits his teeth, earning a smirk that quickly turns into a frown at hearing the sound of police sirens.

"You got lucky this time." He flees the scene leaving you again with a bloodied up Jay.

"You promised me to not fight anymore!" Jay chooses to ignore you and limps away to a nearby post.

"And I told you to stay away from me y/n. I don't need people like you to worry about me because they pity me" He responds.

"How am I not supposed to worry when you left so suddenly? One moment we're good and the next you're mad at Sunoo and everyone?" You place him on the stair case while getting your first aid kit ready.

"How am I supposed to stay away when you worry me? Do you have any idea how fast I ran here with this when Jake told me you weren't at your house?" You continue to apply a bit of alcohol on his open cuts.

"I'm sorry, I was upset. I saw you with Sunoo earlier and I don't know what came over me. Sunoo is so darn perfect, and what about me? I was afraid you'd leave me." Jay mumbles the last part quietly, but you manage to hear it well.

Without much hesitancy, you press a light kiss onto his bruised and swollen lips. He gasps slightly but manages to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I'm not leaving okay, I'm here to stay if you want me to." Jay grabs you and pulls you in for a hug, resting his face in the crook of your neck.

"Please stay." He mumbles, letting his grip on you get stronger. He stays there for a while, before looking at the blue bag in your hand.

"What's this?"

"I brought some dinner because I figured you would be too lazy to do it yourself and end up eating frozen nuggets again." He smiles slightly before admiring your features.

"I really like you y/n.." Jay confesses, still in the position of hugging you.

"I like you too Jay...I really do." A grin forms on his face and he drops another kiss on your cheek before leading the way out.

Perhaps Jay wasn't exactly perfect, but you always knew he was more than ready to love and learn by your side.

------

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts haha, but I figured we could all use a little fluff with everything going on :( <3

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #heeseung #jungwon #sunghoon #jay #enhypen riki #enhypen jay