#i have been here for four hours

[celeryw]

i hate da hospital

#cel speaks #i have been here for four hours #i'm about to be violent

[64-jungle-planks]

Night at the Museum: Redesigning Characters (Bonus)

Character profile: Napoléon "Le Petit Caporal" Bonaparte

This character is based off of and takes inspiration from the historical Napoleon Bonaparte.

Real Name: Napoléon Bonaparte

Nickname and Meaning: Le Petit Caporal - A term of affection from his soldiers

Age: 40-41 (Late 1809, early 1810)

Time Period: Napoléonic era frace

Family: Josephine de Beauharnais (ex-wife), Marie Louise (wife)+ seven siblings none of which were brought back besides Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte- his nephew

(Headcanons under the cut)

Based on/taken from History:

Pompous

Very overly confident.

Egotistical. He hasn’t seen his own downfall yet and feels he can win more.

On December 2, 1805, in his greatest victory, he defeated the combined Austrian and Russian armies in the Battle of Austerlitz.

signed treaties that created the Grand Duchy of Warsaw

Late 1809, early 1810, Napoléon’s roughly around 40-41

Still loves Josephine, but planning to divorce.

Upset she wasn’t remade alongside him

From Napoléon's memory, Joseph Bonaparte is king of Spain, but isn’t doing well.

Stupidly cute smile

+ Sensitive + Honest + Intelligent - Nepotist - Aggressive - Forgets other people have feelings

My own silly headcanons:

Has put on weight, he’s not used to fighting with it.

Napoléon likes to steal pop-it’s and water wigglers from the gift shop. He always has to have something in his hands to fidget with- normally it’s his gloves or a snuff box or taking apart and cleaning his pistol. Now that he has access to modern fidgets, he likes to taking the green ones.

He also really likes clicking mechanical pencils

He loves inventions that make life better in little ways. Canning food was invented in his life (he’s actually the one who offered a prize of 12,000 francs to improve the food preservation methods that existed at the time which led to canned food being invented) but there was no simple way to open the cans. He loves can openers- taking them with the promise of returning them to just take apart and put back together.

If your gossiping, he obviously eavesdrops. Napoléon cans and will butt into your conversation about someone and listen like you’re saying the most interesting thing in the world. If he can’t come over to you, he will do the lead paint stare at you.

Still acts like he’s emperor.

Originally thought the average height of humans gained a lot of height. He was envious up until he learned whoever created his mold got his height wrong and he’s 5’2”, not 5’7”, then, Napoléon was just pisssed off.

He loves to infodump about his victories and will call over his men to help act them out, sneaking small fibs in to make himself look even better than he already does. If you ask him about his losses, you’ll only get a stare in return and a quick “Non”. (Credit @frombottlealleytotheharbor)

“Hey, do you remember [insert battle he lost]? What was it like?” “…Non.” “But… weren’t you there?” He starts walking away. “Non.” “But—“ “NON!”

He gets into fights with Al because Al is someone who clearly doesn’t respect him. The Capone trio love to tease him - especially Frank and Al. Ralph watches with a grin, which is somehow even more infuriating to Napoléon.

Sometimes getting out of his box, he looks like a well-loved stuffed animal. It takes him a moment to get himself together.

Loves watching true crime and reality TV shows. Isn’t the biggest fan of Horror movies.

Somehow got his hands on a cigarette, absolutely died after one puff. Napoléon threw it onto the ground and stomped off coughing, vowing to never do it again.

He’s so very envious that Al and Ralph had even a bit of time with their sons while they were alive. François Charles was born after the time he was made, and it makes Napoléon feel so homesick and want his kid- one that he doesn’t even know. He absolutely adores Louis Napoleon, who he only met a few times.

Loves ABBA, originally he disliked, but he's grown to like it now that he knows the meaning

I gave him his Laurel wreath just because I thought they were cool and also to show that he's still very pompous and full of himself.

Unfortunately no doodles, I haven't had time!

Étienne Champenois belongs to @lidensword and Gustave Bréant belongs to @all-yn-oween

Frank, Al, Ralph

#NATM #natm au #night at the museum ocs #night at the museum #Night at the museum 2 #Night at the museum battle of the Smithsonian #NATM 2 #napoleon bonaparte natm #napoleon natm #Bonaparte natm #Napoleon fanart #Frosty's art #Apr. 3 #2024 #Apr. 2024 #I'm in the airport leaving Chicago now #well... Im stuck in the airport #I've been here for 2 hours and I have to wait around another four #I've been delayed three times #I'm also working on Al now I wasn't able to finish him by today so heres Napoleon #I was originally saving him for last #Also Im really sorry if I got anything wrong #Napoleon isnt my main guy so I know less about him

[redhotarsenic]

Tablet’s about to die so here’s what I got done so faaaar 🙏🙏🙏

#don’t say anything to him!!!!! shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! zip it!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also mister guy if you see this. nuh uh. no you didn’t 😌 #also damn how long have I been sitting here? four or five hours straight? #now that I have been separated from the Frenzy ​I’m feeling MANY status effects #also I’m having a constant mental battle with this #like. one second I’m going ‘HELL yeah this FUCKS’ #and then several brushstrokes later I’m going ‘OH SHIT THIS IS ASS’ #<- ​‘DISHONOR! DISHONOR! DISHONOR!!’ #trigun #wip update

[andromeda3116]

planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.

i am. so nervous.

like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.

#i am having to force myself to eat #i have cleaned the whole apartment. i am shaking like a leaf. i will 100% need a glass of liquid courage. #i've already told all my family that i'm doing this so i can't chicken out. #it just feels like... it's time. we're here. we've reached this point. #he won't be over here for like four more hours and my brain is eating itself. #this is going to be comical probably i am just going to have to come out of the gate with it bc if i wait i'll chicken out. #i've been trying to come up with what to say all week but i know my mind is going to go blank and i'll end up babbling. #he knows about my issues with vulnerability. he knows about my anxiety. he knows about... me. #he'll probably pick up on the gist of it even if i'm stumbling through what i need to say #hnnngh #i feel like komi from komi can't communicate when she accidentally calls tadano #like bouncing around the room ''panic panic panic panic'' #and its been all day of this and like probably four more hours of it and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ough. ocs save me. ocs. save me ocs

#whenever i find myself Ailing it always comes back to the guys in my head #wym its 1 am ive only been typing in their doc for four hours #its so fun... theyre so fun... oc brain take me home... #there's a reason my discord name is 'oc factory' yk yk #its true! its Accurate! its like an assembly line in here except way less efficient and perpetually broken! #playing with them like dolls... #absolutely unprompted #im making an exercise in Freeing Myself From Cringe tonight #*said through gritted teeth* cringe is dead cringe is dead cringe is dead #im having fun but also dealing myself Psychic Damage! #ough. agh. ough. ough. agh. ough

[forechoes]

Title: See You

Fandom: 내가 키운 S급들 - 근서 | S-Classes that I Raised - Geunseo

Relationship: Han Yoohyun & Han Yoojin

Summary:

An encounter with the filial duty addicts renders Han Yoohyun unable to see Han Yoojin, and Han Yoojin unable to see his brother, no matter how close they are, for an entire week.

Thank you so much for the hosts of this big bang for letting me participate! I can write this out a thousand times, and it'll never be enough, but thank you so so much to @sctir and @butterfirefly for making this piece possible. I wouldn't have made it here without you.

And of course, thank you to @buqbite for partnering up with me! I'm honoured and so grateful for the opportunity to have worked with you. Thank you so much for reaching out first, and I'm sorry if I ever stressed you out with how I work.

#the s-classes that i raised #the s classes that i raised #tsctir #sctir #my s-class hunters #han yoojin #han yoohyun #SClassBigBang2023 #s class #it's so long since my last fic that i could not remember how to post on here or ao3. tumblr changed so much?? <- it has been over a year #i really really hope this fic is coherent because. why was it so long?? #my writing #i just realized why this fic was so long #it's just uncharted territory for me #which makes sense why the entire process was just ?????????? all the way through #i know for a fact that even though i read this over a thousand times i'll find a mistake in it within the next twenty-four hours. L. #edit: decided to make this fic public! at least for a week or two #i'll think about if i want to lock it later but i just want everyone who wants to the read it to have the chance

[thebirdandhersong]

we are all trying to reach home and belonging because we were made for something beyond this earth but why does it feel like some people have more access to that feeling right now

#in other words: i am once again asking why i am standing on the other side of the glass #the dorm people have been visiting each other?? people have been inviting each other over to their houses over the summer???? #people are extending invitations to their friends freely too????? i did not know this #i mean. why am i surprised WHY am i surprised #i HATE to be like. okay well why haven't you invited me. why have i never been invited by anyone before. it sounds like whining to my ears #i mean. i AM whining. i have been sitting in this space for the past 2 hours in the same room with these people #and i am STILL on the outside. there's only FOUR OF US IN THE ROOM #praying for strength bc i have no energy to cry again. like yes i know the lonely little girl is still alive and weeping in my heart #but i am too tired to beg for love i am too tired to perform for it i am too tired to hold my hands out and say: #may i please receive this too. I AM TOO TIRED. #tired of feeling like i'm injecting myself into conversations! of being HERE but not totally belonging! of being the odd one out! #i know they like me but do they love me! why does it always have to feel like i'm CONSTANTLY ASKING for love! #the waiting room chapter

[batcii]

i am in greece! here are some γάτες

#harrowing* time getting here #*normal airport pain but at the tail end of twenty four hours of travelling from melbourne #but now i am in the sun and i have been served an omelette #not too bad 🌞

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I've been Sinning because I've been making posts on Malorn and Duncan individually but I don't think I ever really touched up on how their relationship with EACH OTHER would be and that's literally the most traumatizing thing I can think of for either of them

This is like, moreso purely speculation and 🌈 imagination🌈 anyways because I don't think there's like any canon material on the two of them interacting and their arcs and backstories are as small as bacteria in the first place but literally those two on their own could have their own fucking show with how much UNTAPPED STORYLINE that can come out of "Borderline child prodigy forced into and struggling with important position" Malorn and "Troubled child with undiscussed emotional issues and a jealousy complex borne from said position" Duncan

Idk about any type of interaction or relationship these two might have had before Malistaire became the Joker, but I can imagine there's ALREADY some type of rivalry (at LEAST one sided) between two guys in the same school in the same class, one of them is blatantly better than the other at everything they do and it's not the guy who says he is. (Like, idek how Malorn himself feels about him being the best in his class, but from what we've seen he doesn't brag about, mislead, or exaggerate about it like Duncan does. And the insane thing is Malorn AT LEAST would have a BASIS on his claims and attitude even if he was being a jerk about it)

But the thing is, Malorn back then as a regular student would not have been in any position to be up close and personal with Duncan in any meaningful way during school hours. Like they're classmates, at best they get grouped on a project together, but Malorn and Duncan being together would not be required and important until AFTER Malistaire dips and Malorn is now Duncan's PROFESSOR. Now in a totally more complicated and intimate way than before, Malorn and Duncan HAVE to interact with each other, speak and work with each other because now Malorn is the new Death teacher and he has to handle the brunt of Duncan's education and progress. GIRLS YOU NEED TO READ THAT LAST PART AGAIN BECAUSE THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!!!!

Malorn and Duncan literally CANNOT escape each other if they wanted to do their jobs (good, unbiased educator and student still receiving education respectively). Yeah they may not be like, personal tutor and student but Duncan is in MALORN'S class now, and just that position alone puts a type of pressure on both of them to still maintain their respective roles and civility while dealing with the person who Does Not Make You Happy on a more personal level than before. That sucks actually

Like, Duncan couldn't even lie to Malorn about how "well" he's doing in Death class when he can SEE his papers. Duncan can't hide his grades papers from his professor, Duncan is no longer able to pull the wool over Malorn's eyes like he does with EVERYONE ELSE. Duncan already had some type of issues with being second best, but imagine one of the people that was threatening Duncan's spot as first place becomes his superior. His superior that can SEE that Duncan is in fact, not the best. Duncan can't even PRETEND that Malorn isn't better than him anymore because it's been proven, when Malorn was made Professor instead of him, and Malorn himself now has an inside view of Duncan's insincerity. What little ""power"" Duncan thought he had was now ALL taken away from him

AND THEN MALORN DOESN'T HAVE IT MUCH BETTER, because here's this little shit that just seems to hate him for no reason???? Idk if Malorn ever knew about Duncan bragging about himself or his jealousy of him in general before Malistaire left, but whether or not he did before he most likely knows NOW. With his new position and him having to care for Duncan as a student rather than a peer, now suddenly Malorn is in Duncan's DIRECT line of fire and he has no wiggle room to step aside or remove himself because in order for Malorn to be a good teacher *he has to be there for Duncan*. He no longer has the luxury to just "ignore" Duncan or even put him in his place if that's what he really wanted, because now Malorn has to be a certain type of responsible and not abandon or get into fights with students that give him any issues (looking at you Malistaire and Mabrose 😒)

Yeah ofc Malorn could always discipline Duncan or smth but what's the use if this one student is just adamant on causing issues? It seems like Duncan has more of a 'hands off' type of technique when trying to get what he wants (using other people to finish his homework for him), but it's super easy to imagine Duncan just doing little or petty things to undermine Malorn's authority in any way he can. Nothing evil but just like challenging or questioning Malorn's lessons during class, mouthing off whenever he can, things that are used to blow off steam and stick it to Malorn in what little way he can definitely sounds like some shit Duncan would do. And what are you supposed to do when this kid, someone who is YOUR AGE but is still essentially supposed to be listening to YOU, is lashing out at you and disrupting class every chance he gets? Discipline him for the hundredth time?

Imagine how this grates on Malorn's nerves how on top of everything else, on top of everyone else already being jumpy and snippy around him, in addition to his entire lifestyle being turned around, even with his tutor and someone he looked up to betraying him in the worst way, even with ALL OF THAT, this *ooooooone* person decides to go out of their way to continuously punish you for it. Malorn is doing his job, what he's expected of no matter how unfair or tiring or unrewarding it may be, and he is being persecuted by someone for a job *he never even asked for*.

Malorn did not plan or hope for ANY of this to happen. Yeah being a Professor sounds cool and shit at first glance but like I've said once before Malorn at that time is still like 12 years old and the change is so absolutely sudden and jarring that Malorn couldn't have even possibly PREPARED for this situation. Whether or not Malorn is actually good at his job now does not push aside the fact that Malorn may not have even WANTED to be in that job in the first place!! We have no way of knowing if Malorn was seriously like "man I wish I was a teacher right now" at ANY point of his life, but it's safe to say he most likely DID NOT because Malorn was never flaunting or showcasing his talent to everyone like Duncan was!! Perhaps the one person who wants this THE LEAST is being unfairly judged by the person who wanted it THE MOST

AND THAT ^^^^^^^ is getting to the core of this Malorn VS. Duncan thing going on here. Two opposites, two extremes that are forced together unwillingly and they're both unnecessarily suffering for it.

And at the end, when The Wizard is trying to do shit and Duncan pops up like "aaayyyy 🤪🖕" and is defeated in 2 seconds, how does that affect them both? Does Malorn ever like, know this about Duncan? Did Duncan even graduate before he was manipulated into a literal cult?

Imagine how messed up Malorn would feel if he ever found out. Would he take it personally, even though none of it was his fault? Would he still FEEL that it was his fault, that the one person who hated him sooo much it became the catalyst to his downfall? Would Malorn feel responsible for Duncan and all the hurt he's caused and all the hurt he's felt even though he shouldn't?

And the saddest part is even if Malorn did suffer any type of way from knowing how Duncan turned out to be, his responsibilities wouldn't leave him that much time to mourn before he had to go back to work. The saddest part is that even though Duncan was told over and over that he was alone and that nobody cared for him, he had Malorn by his side the entire time more than willing to support him. Their relationship is so interesting to me because it's so tragic and multifaceted when ultimately things could have been at least moderately better if the world hadn't let them both down

#loooooooooong post #very long post #but seeing that art of them by ghostcond i was like ''THIS IS IT. THATS IT THATS EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN MISSING'' #im actually crying for two little kids rn like LMAO #once again 90% of this never really happened between them LMAO but it could have and THATS WHATS MOST IMPORTANT #kingsisle really had a goldmine here with these two characters and theyre never connected or expanded upon #understandable because the game's not about them but im still mourning what he could have had #nobody can take this away from me. these boys are Traumatized and that is how they will be to me #im such a loser for young children being thrusted into positions of immense power all of a sudden and theres like so much of that here #morganthe. malorn. duncan. us. like bro #we're all like the sides of a weirdly four-faced coin #i just love how stories delve into people so young being screwed over with the power they dont know what to do with and how it effects them #malorn may not have become like the rest of us in terms of sheer power level but his professor status is a position of power #that he WAS NOT READY FOR #i havent slept in like 6 hours lmao so imma stop these rambling tags but ANYWAY. cry for them #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #malorn ashthorn #duncan grimwater

[arsonist-chicken]

hehehe fourth day in a row I've slept until 5pm because I fucked up my sleep rhythm staying up until 7am but probably more likely because of the ✨curses✨, but at least today I finally saw some sunlight again by walking to the store to still make it before they close. this is fine.

#the curses are mental illness aka depression or whatever idk man just give me some energy to be able to live my everyday life #i mean i thought i was getting sick on tuesday evening so i already planned to not go to uni on wednesday #also because i hadn't done a presentation but i really thought i was getting sick too #and it's been downhill from then #the last two nights i said to myself at lik 6am i'll sleep four hours now until 10 so i have the day to work and then can actually sleep #normal again but either i didn't hear my alarm or i turned it off and woke up again when it was still light outside #but close enough to already the sun setting that i was not gonna get any sun #the psychologist who did my adhd exam said i could start treatment with her but i'm a little wary of that #since my insurance still hasn't let me know if they'd partly cover that or if she's not in that system. idk how it works. #and also she's a psychologist not a psychotherapist #and no offense to my friend but i saw my friend studying psychology and becoming a psychologist after she finished her degree #and I don't think she'd be educated at all to actually offer therapy #she just does evaluations and such now but no therapy #and damn if I'm going to spend my emergency money on therapy because well it's not covered here then i at least want it to actually work #and actually be therapy. like working on the adhd and depression; not just an adhd coaching #that would have helped when i was in school or just starting uni but by now i definitely also need therapy for the depression that evolved #from all the issues. also maybe just brain chemistry idk. #mine

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 20

"Hard Won" by Lizzie No

#song of the day #awake for four hours this morning (the feeblest of returns to tumbling) and three hours this afternoon (answered my emails) #and now I've been awake another hour /and/ successfully stood up for the whole nine minutes my pot pie was microwaving #these being massive and very hard-won improvements is so weird. simultaneously very encouraging and very not #anyway I love Lizzie No and I was thinking about how proud I felt to have made my own tea and the phrase came to me #and so here we are! very fond of this song. good hanging-in-there vibes #'I was mad at god / for leaving me standing in the bitter sun / but I kept hanging on to the very end of my rope #when sitting down alright with myself came hard won / hard won' #'I've done my time / lying awake at night / but oh / those lonely times are done / and oh / it was hard won / hard won' #(also the beat in the third verse where she does not say 'better'. that's some excellent writing)

[samuelroukin]

had one of the worst nightmares in recent memory and ofc when i woke it's four in the morning like almost every other night the past two weeks

#mostly i think nightmares are funny after i wake up but this was fucked up fr. not funny didn't laugh 😠 #my brain out here combining like five different types of horror.. why #the four am thing is weird too but mostly annoying and i've been off by an hour in both directions so not as creepy #ben.txt #AND i have a headache but i can't take ibuprofen on an empty stomach ahhhhhh that's me yelling

[no-one-told-you-life-was-gay]

Not being able to sleep Sucks because you'll be at work later and having PLANNED to do homework and then. You can't think that much. Which is so rude.

#my job allows homework on clock its why i work here #college life #i may have been awake for over 12 hours right now and will not be getting off work for the next four hours #is a sleepy mess

[milo-is-rambling]

I wish I had friends near meeeeeee to distract me from my brainnnnnnnnnn

#need to talk to anyone irl who isn’t related to me or dating my mom or my therapist #anyone else near me please I’m losing my mind #nature isn’t healing me sleeping in a fully dark room all day isn’t healing me how do I magically fix this without having to put any work #into it oh I can’t oh u have to do the work okay how do I do that. therapy once a week. oh. okay. yup. #can I speedrun it? oh no? I can’t. oh damn. okay fine whatever. therapy once a week. AND I HAVE TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND DO WHAT SHE SAYS. bro #what the hell okay fine #well here I am !!!!! where is the fixing where is the feeling better I feel like all I do is stir up all these touch emotions from every #part of my life at once and then she sends me off to rot for week before I come back and talk again #I just feel like I’m losing it!!!!! and ik it’s extra bad bc birthday countdown is on in my brain and im stressed and i feel like a huge #fuck up that can never be fixed and like I will die having done nothing with my life except weigh other people down and so exhausting and my #brain won’t ever shut up like yes I get it years and years and years of built up shit that I never properly dealt with and still hold blame #for constantly and I feel like I will never be fixed like I CANT be fixed like this is a losing battle and I just am struggling today man #idk what I was saying I just took my morning weed hit to try and relax my back a little and now my brain is like scrambled eggs #which is good that means it’s working #I’m gonna try to take a nap maybe cause I only slept four hours and it was like choppy thru the night and then maybe I’ll go to the lake #later I’ve been feeling the need to be in a body of water recently

[jade-harley-yuri]

okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. okay. OKAY DUDE

#IVE BEEN HERE FOR #TWO HOURS #AND I HAVE FOUR OARFISH

[dont-offend-the-bees]

We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛

#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by #i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time #i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime #i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone #dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that #but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this #an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill #he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week #maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him #but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out #I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die #i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature. #i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them #mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started. #i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here #and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us. #and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't. #anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly. #with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one #idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out #but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for #the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids #anyway. enough oversharing. #thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you #mr. bees speaks