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#i have a tendency to draw something an d then keep adding to it
1000sunnygo · 9 months
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The fun thing about long running series is that you can trace a character's narrative evolution in real time.
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The Law we saw pre-timeskip clearly aimed for One Piece.
Unless it was an elaborated lie to his crewmates (which I guess is the in-series explanation at the moment), it's safe to assume that his D lineage and self assigned suicidal mission didn't exist as a concept back then. The goal is eventually re-established with a context.
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While drawing, I assumed Kidd would become important, but I didn't think LAW would move forward like that. So it's youu?? 😱
Weekly serialization, it's a Wonderland.
Weekly serialization means adding oomph on micro scale. I have a particular theory extrapolated from this statement: Law's introduction in Punk Hazard wasn't planned at all.
It might sound far fetched for how integral Law is to Punk Hazard's plot. But it's not an uncommon event, and not just in One piece. Editors often suggest heavy changes to accommodate strong cliffhangers and quick surprises. Eleven supernova were created because early Shabondy lacked oomph, Law might have appeared in Punk Hazard for the same reason.
Even without Law, the straw hats would've anchored in Dressrosa to save Kanjurou, Zou to reunite with Raizo, and in Wano to escort their friends back home. Law just happened to have something going on in all of these places.
I think both Law and Kidd's post timeskip debut was planned to be in Wano arc. Law's competitive dynamic with Kidd and Luffy in Wano is more consistent with Shabondy than anything that came before.
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Doflamingo was initially one of Kaido's strongest allies to be defeated within Wano country (confirmed in volume 98 SBS). It means Dressrosa was entirely different from what we got.
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Given the similarity in their Jolly Roger, Oda may have always planned Law to be Doflamingo's ex-subordinate with a complicated history, keeping his and Doflamingo's conflict reserved for Wano. But Law was popular, resourceful and the story needed a boost after a monotonous Fishman Island arc. Thus, Law gets his early screentime that snowballs into a dramatic Dressrosa arc. I'm sure Oda didn't mind.
Tldr, I think this is how it went down: Oda decides that Kidd and Law would return and fight alongside Luffy in Wano -> Punk hazard is written and introduces Kinemon -> Punk Hazard falls bland and editor pesters Oda to bring Law early -> Law appears and proposes an alliance, so the plot is now directly chained to Wano -> Oda realizes ope ope makes a good device to explain Imu's immortality -> Oda makes Law a D as he's now connected to endgame plot.
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Even if the theory above is wrong, it's a fact that Law was not a part of the bigger picture but became unexpectedly relevant. To work with him, Oda had to figure the smaller details of his personality slowly as the story progressed; such as his honesty and the suicidal tendency.
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Law roped straw hats into his revenge scheme while deep down wanting them to leave Dressrosa safe and unharmed. But Law in the draft for this scene looks more... certain. Maybe Robin wasn't wrong to suspect Law after all.
I guess, by the time Oda actually reached the scene, the shadiness didn't suit his personality anymore. Corazon would not approve.
Wano Law was the best written Law. His personality was fully ironed out, not just the revived rivalry with Luffy-Kidd but also a reluctance to be nice while time and time proving it's mostly just talks. It's a mix of his personality traits that were decided at his very introduction and the later decided improvisations.
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This post was getting too big and derailed so I had to cut it short lol. Maybe I'm reaching with my speculations but it was a fun topic to brainstorm about.
Edit: Here's a bit of extension of this theory.
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merakiui · 3 years
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hii could we get an angsty scenario/hcs of xiao and scaramouche/any characters you prefer! who are basically head over heels for someone but that person keeps getting with the wrong people and constantly getting their heart broken? Preferably with a good/fluffy ending but it’s up to you!
cw: angst + heartbreak  note - decided to go for scenarios! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*
[Xiao] 
One Call Away—
The sudden shout of his name had brought him out into the open, where he finds you sitting in a field of wildflowers, your head hung and quiet sobs racking your hunched form.
“You called?” The gruffness in his voice startles you and your head snaps up. He notices your pained expression and the tears that refuse to cease, and it gives birth to a strange feeling within his chest. “What happened? Surely I am not too late.” And then he shakes his head. “No, I’m never late.”
“Ah... I’m sorry.” You sniffle, pitifully rubbing at your eyes. “I guess your name slipped out. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t mean to call for you either.”
Xiao raises a brow and then surveys the surrounding area. “Well, it doesn’t look like you’re in any mortal peril. In that case, I’ll leave you to—”
“No!”
Your sudden shout startles the both of you, with you drawing back and Xiao’s eyes widening ever so slightly. He wonders why you’re crying when beautiful scenery surrounds you. Are you truly that pathetic? Are mortals usually this weak-hearted? Xiao can’t wrap his head around the idea of grief; he’s an immortal who has seen plenty of hazardous scenarios worth grieving over. Yet with the passage of time he has learned to let such emotions drift away on a wind current. Emotions are useless to an adeptus.
But now he’s stuck with them.
“No?”
“D-Don’t go...” Your voice wobbles and you wipe at your reddened eyes. “I don’t want to bother you, but could you stay here with me? For a little while, at least. It’s all I’ll ask...”
He feels like he should decline your desperate plea before it spreads its perplexing roots throughout his system. The words are practically on the tip of his tongue and he struggles to verbalize them. If he could, he’d shake his head and vanish from your sight. There’s something about your expression that forces him to stay, and he truly detests the way his emotions run wild at the prospect of something he can’t quite comprehend.
“Fine.”
And so Xiao listens to you. It’s something he does best; his eyes and ears are open as he gives you his full, undivided attention. Half of him observes your reactions as you explain what happened and the other half zeros in on the way your subtle hand motions. While he might not be anywhere near a cupid—and he would never be caught giving out relationship advice to mortals, which is something he couldn’t do even if he tried—he is still a being of immense power. From what he’s able to understand from your explanation, your loved one decided to part from you because they believed it just wasn’t working. And you, having been struck with an immense sadness, failed to call out to them to clear up any misunderstandings.
Eventually, after internally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings, he asks, “Do you want me to teach them a lesson? Should you need them to feel the same amount of despair you’re feeling—”
“Oh, no! No. No. They don’t deserve to be punished for that. I understand now that our feelings weren’t the same. We really weren’t working and that’s okay. It just...hurts.”
Xiao tilts his head, an innocently childish show of confusion. “Where?”
“It’s not a physical pain, Xiao. I mean, it could be. But...this is more emotional.” Your hand reaches out, fingers wrapping around his wrist. He stares down at your hand and he almost pulls away. Before he can even consider what’s happening, you’re guiding his hand to where your heart is. “In here. It hurts now, but I’ll overcome it eventually. I’m used to it anyways...”
The straight-faced adeptus remains still as he feels the fast-paced beat of your heart. Mortals have always been weak in his eyes: feeble beings who break at the slightest inconvenience. Although you don’t seem close to shattering and that confuses him more than he’d like to admit. Perhaps you are one of the more resilient humans he’s come across in recent years. It’s strange when he feels your heartbeat, so very certain and alive with the sour feelings a heartbreak brings. He’s never understood that either. Heartbreaks and relationships. The differences between friendship and romance. Both can be seen through to the very end, if fostered healthily.
So then why are you so sad?
Truthfully, you’ve always seemed sad to Xiao. As an adeptus, he’s never been able to fully grasp the meaning behind human emotions. They’re insignificant in his eyes, mere flashes of feeling that can hurt and blind. They’re troublesome and useless—certainly not something he would ever want to experience. But those emotions can heal and bring cheer. They’re not all entirely bad, nor are they as evil as he seems to think they are.
Xiao realizes his hand has been on your chest for a while now and he’s been staring at you so much that you’ve begun to shrink away, partially embarrassed to have him analyze you with so much scrutiny.
“Is...something wrong?”
He shakes his head slowly at first before retracting his arm. And then he notices you’ve stopped crying. He’s not sure when this happened, but he’s oddly relieved to see your neutral expression. Somehow your crying face is painful and it wounds him in a way he never would have imagined.
“Thank you for listening to my rant. I know this is probably meaningless to you, since you’re an adeptus and all, but it really means a lot. So I’m glad I was able to get these things off my chest. I feel a lot lighter now.”
“You’re not sad?”
“Ah. Well...” Your gaze flickers, eyes darting to and fro while you struggle to look at him. “I’m still sad, but I’ll get over it! Don’t worry! I’m resilient!”
Xiao’s brow furrows in confusion. As he has thought plenty of times before, mortals are far too complex. Eventually he sighs and says, “It’s okay to cry. Don’t keep that inside, okay? You’ll just hurt yourself even more.” Now he’s avoiding your gaze and there’s a barely noticeable tinge of pink dusting his pale cheeks. He’s really not good at consoling humans.
“Oh, Xiao.” You pull him in for a hug and he stiffens, trying to squeeze out of your arms like a cat near water. But then he feels your fingers digging into his arm and he realizes that you might actually need this hug. Despite the fact that he’s not used to freely giving out hugs—or even cheering up mortals, for that matter—he is definitely out of his element. “Really, thank you. I promise to make you an Almond Tofu as thanks.”
“There’s no need for that.” Hesitantly, as if he’s worried he’ll break you, he wraps his arms around your form. “I’m just helping you because you called my name. That’s all.”
But that’s not the full truth. Hidden in those words is the real reason why he even bothered to stay despite the false alarm. And it worries Xiao when he thinks about the implications. He really does like you and this admiration has surpassed platonic love. As long as you’re okay, though, he’ll swallow his feelings in favor of making sure you’re always happy. It’s one of his duties as your friend.
Friend. A word Xiao never thought he’d ever use, but it feels nice. He likes it.
Yet The Distance Remains Harrowing.
[Scaramouche] 
To Mend a Broken Heart—
You’re spilling your emotional guts in front of the Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers, tears freely running down your cheeks like two faulty water faucets. It’s a pathetic sight, really. Scaramouche witnessed this exact show just a few weeks ago when you were so certain that that fisher was the one. Now, after meeting and getting together with someone else for a short time, you’ve come out of yet another relationship, unhappy and unsatisfied.
He’s jealous. There’s no denying the envy he feels when you talk so highly of these people and then wail about them a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle of mending a fragile heart and then breaking it into pieces all over again. With no end in sight, you fall victim to your own demise in the pursuit of love. He wonders if you’ll ever learn to choose your next partner carefully rather than settling for anything with a pulse.
“This is exactly what I said would happen, was it not?” he says with a sigh. “Oh, woe is you. If you were smarter, this last relationship might have lasted longer.”
“That’s rich coming from you. I’ve never seen you in a relationship before,” you mutter, wiping angrily at your eyes. His eyelid twitches at the not-so-subtle jab. “Ugh!I hate being so unlucky! This is the worst.”
“Rather than your foul luck, I think the problem lies within you and your taste in partners.”
Sniffling, you lower your head onto the table, hoping to just melt into the crafted wood before you end up making even more of a fool out of yourself. It’s rare to be in the company of Scaramouche, considering how often he’s assigned missions that require swift travel and a covert profile. But whenever you do find yourself sitting across from him, indulging in light snacks and tea, it’s always because you’ve lost your latest lover; and your own sadness requires the nullifying effects of Scaramouche’s cynicism.
“They’re good people! I just don’t know why it never works out. We’re happy and we both like each other—it doesn’t make any sense. Am I missing something? Is it my fault? They probably got tired of me because I’m not a good person.“
“Perhaps.” He takes a moment to sip his tea and you muster a weak glare. Only Scaramouche can delight in his beverage while you’re holding back another onslaught of tears. “Your crocodile tears are hardly flattering and your apparent need for consistent affection might come off as clingy. And you have a tendency to find flaws within yourself whenever something doesn’t go your way. Adding onto that, you doubt yourself a lot and you’re always quick to take the blame for things that are out of your control. In a way you are partially—”
“I get it. I’m not a good person.”
“I never said anything of that sort. Now you’re just asking for pity.”
Oh, how close you are to punching that smirk off of his face.
“Then since you seem to know everything, my oh so helpful friend, why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”
“With pleasure.” His cup finds the surface of the table as he ponders your demand for a moment. “You’re missing someone who meshes well with your personality.”
“That’s not true. Everyone I’ve been with so far—“ His skeptical look makes you stop short. “Okay. Maybe we forced it because we thought it was love. But that’s besides the point! There was still an attraction! I think...” You huff and bury your face in your arms, nearly almost sprawling on the table. You’re too depressed to even consider how impolite your actions look, and Scaramouche scoffs at your poor display of manners. “Where am I even going to find someone who ‘meshes well with my personality,’ hm?”
“I’m sure you’ve already found them.” He clears his throat, tracing a finger along a sanded knot in the wooden table. “You’re sitting across from him.”
Whether he intended for you to hear that whispered part, you can’t say for sure. But your head perks up and you fix him with a lopsided grin. “You’re kidding.”
“Hm?”
“Me and you, a couple?” A small giggle escapes your lips and you swipe the remaining tears out of your eyes. “Don’t joke about that. I’m trying to be sad here!”
It wasn’t a joke, he almost says and he catches himself, suddenly self-conscious.
“I don’t think we’d work out,” you continue, motioning between you and him. “We’d hardly see each other and you don’t seem like the type for romance. Besides, I’m not attracted to you in that way. You feel the same, right?”
Scaramouche stares into his cup before he meets your gaze, a tight smile gracing his expression. “Of course. Your inability to settle isn’t all that attractive.”
Your eyes roll and you finally pick up your own cup to take a large gulp of lukewarm tea. The bitter Harbinger observes your actions with narrowed eyes. There’s a distinct pain that taps at his hardened soul, splitting it apart as your words echo within his spinning head. I don’t think we’d work out. I’m not attracted to you in that way. Why is he suddenly feeling...upset? He’s not one for pitiful emotions; he’s a Harbinger, not a lovesick fool! He ought to glare at you and storm off, demanding the two of you never speak again. But he won’t say that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Because he cares for you. Because he loves you.
You feel the same, right?
No, that’s not right. This is the love he’s been wallowing in since he first got acquainted with you. It’s strange when he remembers every event that has led up to the blossoming feelings that reside deep in the epicenter of his heart, but it’s even more strange that he can’t find the courage to voice his own opinion.
“We wouldn’t mix,” he reaffirms your statement with a cold tone. There is no warmth in his eyes. “After all, your taste in tea is as bad as your taste in partners.”
And even though he wishes you could see through his walls—just this once he’ll allow you to tear them down for the sake of a half-baked confession—you just sit there and grin, no longer teary-eyed and forlorn. How odd. His heart feels far heavier than it’s ever been before. And you’re already scanning your surroundings, hungry for a love that will never keep you sated. Perhaps you weren’t even sad in the first place.
Upon realizing this, Scaramouche wants nothing more than to disappear into the wood like a feeble worm and never come back out.
You Must Break Another.
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applerubyy · 3 years
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Ciao Adios
Summary: When you find your boyfriend cheating on you yo decide to expose him in the pettiest way you can think of.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (some Loki x Reader if you squint)
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: Cheating and cursing (I think that’s it?)
A/N: Hi! So this is my first time writing and posting anything here so if its terrible please tell me nicely :). This is some AU where everyone lives and all is happy ok? Also english is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Anyway, if it turns out that some of you like it I think I’d be willing to do a part 2 if you like. Hope you enjoy it! <3. Btw, the gif is not mine so credit to whoever made it.
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Crack. That’s the sound of your heart breaking, ripped to pieces in just a few seconds. And no, you were not exaggerating. Seeing your boyfriend kissing someone else while taking off their clothes would do that to a person. And in his office of all places.
How did you not see that coming? They had a lot in common and they did spend a lot of time together but you were just so naïve thinking that he was the most trust-worthy person ever that you looked the other way and believed him when he told you she was “just a friend”. 
Just a friend my ass you thought as you calmly walked to your room. No running, that would draw attention to you and you didn’t need that. No crying either, because once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop. Walking down the hallway and taking the elevator to your floor feels like it takes forever. 
Time is funny that way. It has that annoying tendency to slow down or speed up at the worst times. Like when you were in college and the clock seemed to literally stop, you would look at the time and it was 10:20 am and check again after what felt like half an hour for it to be 10:25 am. Or like when you are having fun with your friends at a club and you see it’s 12:30 but when you look again a few minutes later it’s 2:40. Right now it feels like the former, time seems to have slowed down. Maybe Dr. Strange did something to it? No, that’s stupid, he wouldn’t play with time that way.
Finally the elevator pings open and you rush to your room. Well, it’s not only your room anymore. You share it with him and everything is a reminder of what you just saw. The art supplies on the desk by the window, the famous shield leaning against the wall near the door, the messy bed where you sleep together every night …
And every single thing brings tears to your eyes until finally, the dam breaks and you let the tears fall down. You bring your hand to your mouth to muffle a sob that brings you to your knees. Crying is the only thing you can do right now because your brain is stuck on a loop. All you can see is Steve kissing her, unbuttoning her shirt with one hand while the other grabbed her ass. And all you can hear are their moans, Sharon’s whimper when he touched her and his groan as he did so. 
And now you are full on crying and choking on air because that scene keeps replaying itself over and over no matter how much you want it to stop. And you do, Gosh you do because there is so much your heart can take and this is too much. It shatters you in more ways than one. It makes you question everything you thought you knew about him, about her, about your relationship and about yourself.
You remember the first time you met him. You were already in college and looking for an internship. Luckily you happened to be the niece of the one and only Pepper Potts. And who wouldn’t want to work near Earth's mightiest heroes? You sure did. You were studying journalism and communications in New York and working with the Avengers was the ultimate dream, one that was about to come true.
Your first day was uneventful, it consisted mainly of coffee runs, delivering files and passing messages along. That was until your third coffee run where you ran straight into a wall, well actually it wasn’t a wall but it felt like it. The coffee spilled everywhere, on your clothes and his, and you were going to fall on your butt if it wasn’t for him grabbing your arms to steady you. Imagine your surprise when you looked up to see Captain America himself.
And that’s the moment your love story started. It seemed like something straight out of a romantic comedy and you loved it. It started with flirting, a date and then another, him asking you to be his girlfriend and finally asking you to move in once you graduated. It felt like a fairytale.
Tony wasn't very happy about you and the Capsicle but he saw how happy you were so he tried to be happy too. Tony was your uncle even if you didn’t share any blood. Growing up you would visit your aunty Pepper in New York and he was always around, you even stayed at his house when Pepper and him had to work. So, you two became really close even before he became Iron Man and started dating your aunt. 
The same thing happened with Rhody. Your close relationship with Tony meant you were close to him too, seeing as he was one of the most important people in his life. Rhody treated you like his niece and was the only one he didn’t make fun of which you took as the ultimate compliment. 
So those three you knew before you started working at the compound and before Steve. But once you started working there you met the rest of the Avengers. Being Pepper and Tony's niece and Steve's girlfriend meant they all wanted to get to know you. 
You met Bruce Banner, the Hulk, and you became really close. But that was thanks to his close relation with Tony and all the time you spent with him working on his social media presence to make sure people saw him as more than just the green monster who smashes things. After a while of working there they promoted you and now you manage the Avengers social media.
Nat and Wanda became your best friends from the moment you met. You just clicked and hung out as much as possible, being the only girls on the team meant they were really happy to have another female added to the mix. As for Vision, he liked you because Wanda did, simple as that.
Bucky and Sam were the funniest people ever, their constant bickering always brought a smile to your face and they welcomed you with open arms. Happy that their friend had finally found someone to be with.
Thor and Clint were like the fun uncles you got to see every once in a while. The God of Thunder was like an excited puppy and would hug you till you couldn’t breath every time he came to Earth and Clint would joke around with you and FaceTime you when he was with his kids because they loved you (“best babysitter ever” that called you).
You met Peter when he started working for your uncle. He was a sweet kid and your love of memes, vines and pop culture made you instant friends. He would ask you for advice on girls and tell you science jokes.
But we all know not all fairytales have a happy ending and this one definitely didn’t. You’re feeling so many things at once. There’s anger, sadness, jealousy and something else you can’t put your finger on. You keep crying and are unable to move from your kneeling position on the floor. Checking the clock you realize you’ve been on the floor crying for an hour so you stand up.
Taking a shower seems like the best thing to do, your head is pounding and your face is all puffy. As you shower it hits you, that other feeling swirling around is inevitability. In a way you always thought he was too good for you, you always thought he would eventually get tired of you and trade you for someone else. 
It just hurt too much that it was her, the woman he shared so much with. The niece of Peggy Carter, his first love. An agent of S. H. I. E. L. D.  Someone who risked their life for the world like he did. Someone prettier. Someone better than you.
Yeah, you were definitely on a self-pity party. But you needed to be miserable for a while, to cry it all out, to hurt so that you could move on to the next stage of grief: anger. And when that came, there was no stopping you.
You weren’t a mean person, or a petty one. You gave everyone countless opportunities and forgave way too easily so you never really got angry. But when you did, when you said enough is enough, yeah, you better watch out. That could be the meanest bitch you ever met and she had no mercy.
So you got out of the shower, dried yourself and started getting ready. Tony was throwing yet another party about who knows what and you were not missing it. You liked parties, they were the perfect excuse for wearing pretty dresses and putting on make up. And tonight you were going all out. 
Your inner bitch was concocting a plan and you were going with it.
You hear the door open and prepare yourself to put on the best acting of your life. You take a deep breath and in the sweetest voice you can muster say: “Steve is that you babe?”
“Yeah doll it’s me” you hear him say. A few second later he pops into the bedroom and gives you a peck on the lips as you continue with your makeup.
“How was your day?” Steve asks as he takes off his clothes, probably to take a shower. “I missed you today, i went by your office but you weren’t there” he says with a small frown between his eyes. You could stare at his blue eyes forever but snap out of it when you remember what he did. 
“Oh not much, i left work earlier to get ready for tonight” you answer. Shit your work. You really did leave like that, but after tonight hopefully they’ll understand. “You should start getting ready, the party starts in thirty minutes”.
He smiles at you and tells you he’s going to take a quick shower before getting dressed. He goes to the bathroom and you feel like breaking the mirror but instead take a few deep breaths and remind yourself he’s getting what he deserves later on. With that in mind you finish applying you makeup and smile at yourself, you look good. Moving on to your hair you decide to do some loose waves and that’s it, you really don’t know how to make those complicated updos.
Steve gets out of the shower and starts putting on his suit. Men really do have it easier you think to yourself when you see all the work you had to do and he just showers and that’s it.
You take your dress out of the closet and admire it. It really is beautiful. It has a deep plunging neckline that shows a lot of cleavage and is skin tight with a slit on one side. The fact that it is silver with sequins makes it even better. Pepper helped you pick this dress. 
You put on the dress and admire yourself in the mirror. You look good. Behind you, you hear a whistle and turn around to see Steve watching you lust in his eyes. He comes closer and grabs you by the waist, pulling you to him.
“You look stunning” he says as he wets his bottom lip. “I can’t wait to take it off of you when we get back”. Lying cheating bastard.
“Can't wait” you lie as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. This is just a kiss goodbye you tell yourself. One last kiss before he’s out of your life and probably runs to her. Tears threaten to fill your eyes but you hold them down. Not now.
You break the kiss when the need to breathe is too strong. Grabbing his hand you start walking towards the door and say: “Come on, we’re already late”.
——————————————————————————
The party had already started once you walk in and in true Tony fashion it is elegant and extravagant. Everyone is there: S. H. I. E. L. D. agents, the Avengers themselves, politicians and a few famous people. 
You and Steve walk to the bar and order drinks. A whiskey for him and a strawberry daiquiri for you, yes you are that basic but hey, it tastes awesome. He offers you his arm and with drinks in your hands you start looking for your friends. A lot of people stop you on the way, nobody wants to miss an opportunity to talk to Captain America.
One thing, or rather on person, catches your attention: Loki. He’s sitting on one of the cushions alone with a drink in his hand. It’s weird to see him there. Sure, he was redeeming himself for what he did in 2012 and Thor said he was doing better but he rarely left Asgard (he “hated mortals”) and when he did come to Earth it wasn’t for a party.
As if he could feel you staring he turns his head and locks his eyes with yours. You weren’t going to lie, he was gorgeous. He was incredibly tall, had those charming green eyes and was actually funny (but you’d never admit that to anyone). But you were in love with Steve and never saw him as anything more than Thor's hot brother. And everyone in the Avengers was hot so that’s not saying much.
You turn away from him and see Nat and Wanda on the dance floor and you tell Steve you’ll see him later and to go find his friends. He’ll need them after tonight you think to yourself. You greet the girls and start dancing with them, for a moment forgetting about what you saw today and putting Loki out of your mind.
The three of you decided to take a break and order some more drinks. Once at the bar Wanda orders for you and when your drinks arrive you go back to the dance floor. You spend the next few hours dancing, talking to your friends and pretending that nothing's wrong. Talking to Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Hugging Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Kissing Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong.
The fact that Sharon is at the party doesn’t help at all. When you see her talking or touching him you feel like you’re gonna lose it but you remain strong. You remind yourself of your plan and try to keep them out of your mind.
There’s a small stage at the far end of the room and you see your uncle Tony step on it and grab the microphone.
“Hello everyone and thank you for coming to another one of my amazing parties. I hope you are having a good time and taking advantage of the free bar over there” he points to the other side of the room and continues, “Now for what we have all been waiting for: karaoke! And yes, i want everyone to sing something because that’s the whole point of this. I'm looking at you Manchurian Candidate, you’re singing”.
With that he gets off the stage and passes the mic to Sam who decided to sing a Marvin Gaye song. He’s pretty good actually but you can’t fully concentrate on him because your mind is going a thousand miles an hour for what it’s going to happen later.
More people go up and sing their songs and you applaud when they’re done. Nobody is talking much, they're all too busy either laughing at the others performance, drinking or actually listening to the songs. You’re sitting with Steve to your right, Bruce to your left and the rest of the Avengers nearby. You’re your own little group.
It’s finally your turn and as you walk to the stage you can hear your friends whistling and cheering you on. Once you’re up on the stage you choose the song and start singing. 
Ask you once, ask you twice now
There's lipstick on your collar
You say she's just a friend now
Then why don't we call her?
So you wanna go home with someone
To do all the things you used to do to me
I swear, I know you do
Used to take me out in your fancy car
And make out in the rain
And when I ring you up
Don't know where you are
'Til I hear her say your name
Used to sing along when you played guitar
That's a distant memory
Hope she treats you better than you treated me, ha
As you continue singing you get more and more confident and take the mic. You walk off the little stage and over to your friends while dancing and you can see them smiling, clapping and having fun. They have no idea how much i mean all of this you think. You look at Steve and he’s completely oblivious. Good, you want to take him by surprise. You arrive at your little circle of friends and start singing the chorus.
I'm onto you, yeah you
I'm not your number one
I saw you with her
Kissing and having fun
If you're giving her all of your money and time
I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you
Ciao adios, I'm done
Ciao adios, I'm done
Ciao adios, I'm done
You keep dancing and go back to back with Wanda who’s also singing along. You then turn to Nat and she grabs your hand and makes you do a little spin. 
After three, after four times
Why did I bother?
Tell me how many more times
Does it take to get smarter?
Don't need to deny the hurt and the lies
And all of the things you did to me
I swear, I know you did
And now you take her out in your fancy car
And make out in the rain
And when she rings you up
She know where you are
But I know differently
Now she sings along when you play guitar
Making brand new memories
Hope you treat her better than you treated me
You go up to Tony and he starts dancing around you busting out some dad moves. You laugh and keep on singing and dancing.
I'm onto you, yeah you
I'm not your number one
I saw you with her
Kissing and having fun
If you're giving her all of your money and time
I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you
Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)
Ciao adios, I'm done (no, no, no, no)
Ciao adios, I'm done
If you're giving her all of your money and time
I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you
Ciao adios, I'm done
And now you take her out in your fancy car
And make out in the rain
And when she rings you up
She know where you are
But I know differently
Now she sings along when you play guitar
Making brand new memories
Hope you treat her better than you treated me
You walk back to the stage as you sing and step up. You put the mic back into place and sing the last part of the song.
I'm onto you, yeah you
I'm not your number one
I saw you with her (with her)
Kissing and having fun (and fun)
If you're giving her all of your money and time
I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you
Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)
Ciao adios, I'm done (you get on with your life, I'll get on with my life)
Ciao adios, I'm done
If you're giving her all of your money and time
I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you
Ciao adios, I'm done
When you’re done people are clapping and cheering and you look to your friends to see them all smiling. You look at everyone and make a little mock bow and when you straighten you see Loki sitting on the same couch as before. But this time he’s looking at you and he’s laughing, not smiling and cheering but actually laughing.
You look back at your friends and say “Thank you, thank you” with a smile on your face. You continue , “I wanted to dedicate this song to my boyfriend Steve” you point at him.
“In case it wasn’t clear enough, i wanted to tell you that i saw you with Sharon”. You could hear a pin drop. No one was talking and all eyes were on you. This is what you wanted, to humiliate him as much as he did you. And what better way to do it than publicly? Oh but you weren’t done.
You could see Steve's face going pale and nobody knew where to look, if at you or at him. Tony look ready to murder him as did Rhody, Pepper, Peter and Bruce. Thor, Clint and Vision looked shocked. But Bucky, Sam, Nat and Wanda looked guilty.
Your heart breaks a little more when you realize they knew. You can’t really blame Bucky and Sam for not telling you, they were Steve's friends after all. But you thought the girls were your friends, that they would have told you. Apparently you overestimated that friendship.
You keep on smiling and continue “So… I’m breaking up with you. Hope she was a good fuck and wasn’t uncomfortable with the fact that you were once in love with her aunt”. You do a dramatic pause and make a little disgusted face. “Anyway, if I’m lucky i´ll never see you again. Have a great life!”
And with that, you walk off the stage and make your way to your friends. Steve is rooted to the spot and his face is red with embarrassment. You walk up to him, look him straight in the eye and give him an evil smile. He gulps and opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something and then closes it. He does is two more times and still nothing comes out.
You turn to your group and look at Wand and Nat, who can’t seem to be able to look you in the eye. You sigh and say: “Who want enemies when they can have you as their best friends right?”. They look up then and start talking. Telling you how sorry they are and to please forgive them. You raise your hand to silence them and they do.
You go to your aunt and uncle who look like there should be smoke coming out of their ears and say: “I’m gonna stay in a hotel for the night, can’t stand to be here anymore”. Tony scrunches his eyebrows and look at you like you’re crazy.
“Hell no. You’re staying here. We can find him another room to sleep in but you’re not leaving. If anyone’s leaving is Mr. Star-spangled over there” he practically screams the last part as he points at Steve.  
You take a deep breath and hug him. It takes him by surprise but he puts his arms around you. “I appreciate it uncle Tony but i can’t stay at the compound, it just hurts too much” you say as you let go. Turning to your aunt you hug her as well and say: “Thank you for everything but I quit”.
The moment those words leave your mouth everyone starts talking at the same time telling you how crazy you are and to think about it. You just smile at them and tell them you already made up your mind. “I'm gonna go pack a bag and ask Happy to take me to a hotel nearby. Please make sure he doesn’t follow” you say as you point to a still red-faced Captain America. 
With that you turn around and leave. The room is silent for a few seconds before you hear your friends all screaming at Steve. You look around for a second and notice that Loki is staring at you with a smirk on his face. When you look him in the eye he raises his glass at you ant takes a sip. 
You give him a small smile and walk through the doors towards the elevator.  
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idontblushsrry · 3 years
Text
SFW Alphabet|| Megumi Fushiguro
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A/N: Uhhhh I’m back on my bullshit >:) it’s missing Fushiguro hours folks.
Word Count: 2050
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A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
(If you want some more in depth affection headcanons click here)
Fushiguro is someone who isn’t big on pda but makes up for it in private. In public, he’ll hold your hand but in private he’s laying i your lap while you massage his scalp. Basically, he’s a big softie that just represses his urge to cuddle until he’s alone with you.
B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Best friend Megumi is literally the president of the Y/N defense squad. If anyone has a problem with you, they have a problem with him. Of course, you have to rein him in sometimes and remind him you can fight your own battles, but just know he’s lookin out for you.
C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Fushiguro loves to cuddle, but he will repress the urge to do so for as long as possible. Because of that, he doesn’t let you go, preferring to cling to you throughout the night. His cuddles are always deceptively loose too. His arms give you just enough wiggle room but the second you try to get up, it’s like fighting two pythons.
D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
I don’t think he ever really planned on settling down, Megumi figured that he’d die long before he ever got the chance to settle down. Everyday is pretty much a new experience in terms of domesticity for him, he doesn’t have plans for the future, but as long as you’re with him, he’ll be happy.
E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
If he ever had to break up with someone, he’d probably ask for help on how to do so. The first person he’d ask (regrettably) would be Gojo who’d tell Megumi to just ghost the person. After asking around some more, he figured Kugisaki’s approach of getting it over with as bluntly as possible (although less mean) was the best option.
F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Megumi isn’t really the type for wedding ceremonies. He’s all about commitment (even though working up to marriage for him is longer than most) but he’s not a fan of being the center of attention, so a wedding ceremony/reception wouldn’t be his thing. If you wanted a ceremony, he’d be willing to compromise somewhat but otherwise, he’s perfectly fine with just going to the courthouse.
G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He’s kind of rough around the edges. In private, he can be the sweetest, most tender soul, but in public he’ll put 7 yards of distance between you both if you try to hug him. Basically, he’s very shy, so anything that’ll draw too much attention is a no go (he isn’t opposed to linking pinkies though).
H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?
At first Megumi really only hugged you when he was missing you, sad, or tired. Over time though, he got better at becoming more open with his affection and he’ll hug you whenever he feels the urge to. Despite that though, his hugs still have an undercurrent of desperation in them. He holds on just as tight each time like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)
He’s operating on a very strict ‘If you don’t say it, I won’t’ policy and as such this man will not say a single thing to you unless prompted. He knows deep down that he loves you and that you set off butterflies in his stomach every time you smile, but he never really thought to verbalize that until you say ‘I love you’ first.
J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)
Megumi doesn’t get jealous, he’s fought side by side with you and he knows you’re more than capable of fending off any unwanted suitors. Megumi put a lot of trust into you by already being in a relationship so to him, it makes no sense to be jealous over you. That all being said, he’s not above the occasional side eye if someone’s getting a little too buddy buddy.
K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
On a normal day, his kisses are so natural, he’s so slow and the pressure is just enough to have you thinking you’ve got all the time in the world. In near death/ post-near death circumstances, he’s a little more feral. When he kisses you like that, it feels like it’s the end of the world and he’s trying to make the most of it.
L: Little ones (How are they around children)
Fushiguro isn’t good with kids that aren’t old enough to communicate. Older kids are fine with him, but guessing what a baby needs based on how loud it’s crying? Hard pass for him and he doesn’t even feel bad about it. The last time he had to watch a baby, he tried to leave one of his shikigami to watch it; long  story short, he had to explain to a cackling Gojo why his demon dogs wouldn’t let him leave to go to the bathroom.
M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Mornings with Fushiguro are pretty rare. Most of the time you guys don’t really get to sleep in or even spend mornings together since most of the time there’s missions or trainings you’ll have to go to. When you do get the rare morning off, Fushiguro makes the most of it. He sleeps in and doesn’t wake up before 10 no matter what you try. When he does finally wake up, he loves cooking breakfast with you, he’s not the best cook, but he treasures the experience over anything.
N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Nights with Megumi are also rare as most curses come out at night and that’s kinda your guys’ job. If all goes well though, you’ll both come back a little earlier and just go straight to sleep. If it’s a late night where the curse took more out of either of you than expected, yall usually stay up and talk and snack until one of you falls asleep or the sun comes up.
O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
It takes him an extremely long time to open up to you about his past. Not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he’s embarrassed and doesn’t want you to think less of him for it (especially during his problem child era). To be honest, you probably find out about certain things from other people. Once he’s cornered confronted, he’ll be completely (albeit a bit grudgingly) honest about it.
P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)
His anger is kind of weird, whereas before, he was a lot quicker to explode, bluntly telling off or even fighting whoever pissed him off, he’s changed. He tries his best to repress his emotions and as such, he comes off as patient, never expressing his true feelings/desires until pushed to the brink. 
Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
He’s the king of remembering details you mention in passing. His love language is partially acts of service so for him, remembering details about you helps him later. Oh remember that one time you needed a pen/pencil but didn’t have one? Never again, this man has a section of his shadows dedicated solely to pencils because of you. Oh what’s that, you like this random song? Guess what just got added to the playlist he made for you. Basically, while he may not look like it, he’s actually a simp and so if he can make your life easier/ make you happy, it’s worth it.
R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
So Megumi is someone who doesn’t play video games but is really good at them for no reason. One day, you’re playing a game of smash bros. and he’s just kicking your ass, like it was sad. Needless to say, after his 4th win, he “accidently” pressed the wrong button and let you win. He thinks you don’t know he did this but when you won, you kissed him and completely flustered him, to the point that he couldn’t play for a solid 5 minutes. 
S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)
Despite knowing and trusting that you can defend yourself, he’s still super protective of you. You’re one of the few people that he cares about in the world and he’d give everything to see you safe and protected. As for how he’d like to be protected, knock some sense into him every once in a while. He has a habit of self sacrificing so if you want to protect him, remind him that you want to keep him alive as much as he wants to keep you alive.
T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
On the outside, his dates are very simple. They usually consist of you and him either staying in or just hanging out at stores and the like. Every once in a while, he’ll try to take you somewhere special, like a cove he found or a festival. For most people, these may be simple dates, but Fushiguro puts so much effort into so may aspects of your dates that honestly, anything bigger would lose the personal touch your dates have.
U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))
One of his worst habits is his self-sacrificing tendencies. Even during a baseball game, he can’t help but sacrifice himself (especially if it means his friends/ you get to get the glory). With time though, he grows out of this and realizes it’s not selfish to want the best for yourself.
V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He’s giving “I woke up like this” and it’s... it’s something. One might think the style is intentional since obviously, the look could only be achieved with gel, and to an extent, it is intentional. He might use gel to spike it a little more but the man legit rolls out of bed and chooses to leave his hair up like that.
W: Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
No, as much as he loves you, Fushiguro is an introvert. He needs time to just be by himself and unwind every once in a while, so he’s got no complaints if you leave him to his own devices or have to be gone for a long time.
X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)
Megumi has negative zero relationship experience. He’s never found someone that was worth the risk/ worth opening up to, hell, he just barely got friends when he entered high school. Because of this, every part of your relationship is like navigating uncharted waters.
Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)
He’s less someone to dislike a specific thing/ personality trait, and more someone who doesn’t like different people for different reasons, ex. Todo and Mai. If he had to pick a single trait, it’d probably have to be hypocriticism.
Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
He is someone who will fall asleep spread eagle one night and the next be huddled into a tiny little section of the bed. Mercy on you if you try to cuddle because now you’re wrapped up into his unconscious acrobatic routine.
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tyrantisterror · 3 years
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The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup
You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:
I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.
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@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.
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@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.
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@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!
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Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.
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Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.
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@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.
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@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.
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@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.
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@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.
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@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!
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@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?
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@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!
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@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!
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@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!
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dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!
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@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.
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Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!
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@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.
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shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.
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@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.
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Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.
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@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.
Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!
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tundrainafrica · 3 years
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Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (13/17)
Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“
Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.
Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Link to cross-postings: AO3
Every year, for a few weeks at a time, life had a tendency of stopping.
And it had been following that same pattern for the past few years.
For Levi, the first signs of the freeze came when the last few red leaves fell to the ground, revealing the branches underneath. The trees were bare, the wind chill was cruel and the sky was constantly grey.
But the freeze was only a prelude that accompanied something much more daunting.That period of time in particular manifested as some sort of a limbo. That painful limbo where every student was suddenly reminded that maybe taking five classes at once was a bad idea.That limbo were suddenly all students ever had to think about were those five classes they were taking. Yet for some reason, everyone still found a reason to be stressed.
No training. No club activities.
Just deadline after deadline. Group work after group work. Exam after exam.
Of course it would be stressful. Since for many people, those last few submissions leading up to the holidays were always the most decisive. Making that deadline, making something of quality in that deadline always spelled the difference between honors and mediocre, a C for a degree or a failing F. Especially since for the first few months of school anyway, the urgency never hit.
Levi never had been one of those students gunning for honors. The regular tournaments and the twice a day training and the human need for some rest afterwards always meant that Levi was only barely passing most classes while every now and then scoring a B in one.
He was one of those people who thought of the final few weeks of school as some sort of a messiah, some last chance to pull a D to a C or if he were lucky a B. And those periods in limbo blurred so easily into hazy memories of sleepless nights, irrationally strong hate over some particularly shitty groupmate and those few hour long exams where Levi could have sworn his heart hadn’t even been beating.
He hadn’t expected his senior year to be any different. But on the days leading up to finals week, he started to realize he had fewer exams, a little more papers than usual. A side effect of being a senior in a non science course.
It could have been the luck of the draw maybe but his teachers had been kind and had requested he just send everything over.
Two requirements and One thesis. And Levi could always do it from the comfort of the study hall in the dorm.
The study hall was a medium sized building, most frequented by dormers.
One of its most notable characteristics was the window wide enough that anyone studying would be almost incapable of ignoring the scenery just outside. And in winter, the grey sky, the bare trees and the glass of the window that would fog up at the lightest caress were the main constants of the scenery. And even if it was impossible to ignore for most students, Levi didn’t think too much of it that winter in particular. Since the days leading up to deadlines, Hange had been right next to him.
There were those few moments in between studying when he would allow himself some reprieve. Picking what to focus on had never been a challenge. The dreary early winter scenery felt chilly even from the comfort of the heated study hall yet without even trying and Hange emitted a warmth that had resonated more powerfully than any feelings and preconceived notions rooted in his four years in a bubble. Her hums, her thoughtless mutters even her unfocused brown eyes the few times she looked up to give herself a quick rest, without even trying, they had felt warm and welcoming.
Maybe because just those small actions had been more than enough for Levi to feel very much connected to someone. For the first winter in his college life, Levi wasn’t alone
Although with the long hours studying, they never went too far beyond exchanging some few words, engaging some small talk. When their brains were completely fried, there wasn’t much else they could discuss anyway.
But they didn’t need to talk. Levi already felt it --- as he allowed the scratching of pen and paper and the familiar clack of the keyboard to keep him company in the stark silence of the study hall--- she had done her part to make that early a winter warmer than it usually was. She had done her part as well to make that limbo, that harsh in-between classes and holidays, almost enjoyable, a significant improvement from that limbo he had always braced himself to power through, every single year.
As he became a little more aware of her constant company, sometimes he could imagine the limbo had never been there, and it had all been a faint memory, a faint illusion of his life before.
And all Hange had to do was be there. Even when she was silent, highlighting line after line, cross checking journals and study guides, Hange managed to find a way to still be present.
When it came to studies, Hange’s case was a stark contrast to his, more urgent and more demanding, almost admirable. She had a full load and although Levi never did memorize her schedule, he figured it out soon enough having spent the days leading up to the exams cooped up with her in the study hall.
Exam after exam after exam.
And Hange was never without her laptop, her printed out study guides and her ebook reader. And she had been that way, all the way until the last day of exams, when the lobby of the dorm had emptied out, the hallways to his room a lot less busy and when Levi was particularly less self conscious about the awkward way he pulled his injured self up the stairs to his dorm room every night.
Everyone had gone home for the holidays already. And soon enough, it wasn’t such an odd sight to see just her familiar shape alone in the study hall.
The first day she didn’t have study guides felt like a big change.
He picked her out so easily, especially when there was nobody else hunched over their own notes. And Levi who had sat with her every single day in the study hall couldn't help but celebrate such a tiny development. “You’re done with exams?” He asked as he settled on the chair in front of her.
“One final paper,” Hange said, not looking up from her laptop.
“And then winter break?”
“And then I can finally work on my thesis.”
“Any ideas?”
“Yeah, some.”
“So you’ll probably be working during the break huh?”
Hange sat back on the chair and crossed her arms. “You know, I’m lucky enough the department is still allowing me to make a thesis even without a proposal presentation."
"At least you get to graduate on time."
"I know. This is just a weird place to be when at the start of the year, I was gunning for some best thesis award. Now I’m the only student in my block who’s disqualified. And on top of that, I’m starting from scratch again.”
“You could have continued from the last one.”
Hange closed her laptop and rested her chin on her hand. “I didn’t pick that topic because I wanted to. I just felt it was the most practical option. And when I consulted my parents, they said that was the best option to save time.”
“And it was.”
“But it felt weird. I couldn't bring myself to ask you the right questions or check your knee everyday. You were constantly in pain, sad, for a while you might even have been depressed…” Hange trailed off. She looked outside at the scenery on the other side of the window.
Levi could almost see the grey reflected on her eyes.
Hange continued. “I thought back to how you fucked up your knee and I realized I was reckless. When you scraped your knee I was there, then I pushed you to jump for my thesis and when I fucked up your life… and you never felt it even a little weird or annoying that I would be getting something out of it?" She looked at him as if expecting him to say something.
"I made the decision to push myself. Not you."
“Levi, please be honest. did I pressure you?” That was the moment, Hange chose to meet his gaze. She had a pleading look in her eyes that only made it difficult for Levi to reach within him for him some sort of a response.
He had the answer and it was so easily within reach. Yes, she did pressure him. But was that something he would have wanted to admit?
And when he started to ask more questions, he soon started to ask another more important question, was it Hange who had pushed him to do it? Or was it this image of Hange he was projecting onto her?
“You didn’t pressure me,” Levi said.
“Then why were you working so hard? Why did you push yourself?”
“Because… I felt pressured.”
“If not me, then by what? What pressured you?”
“Myself?” And by extension, everything else maybe? Captain Levi? Commander Hange Zoe? He added to himself. But he wasn’t crazy enough to say it.
“But here’s the thing, I could have sworn you were much calmer than that during the competitions. Actual competitions. But then since we met, ever since you scraped your knee, you were pushing yourself more than usual, you were much more tense. What were you working so hard for?”
“I pressured myself.”
“For what?” Hange’s eyes were boring holes into him. “I’m not your coach. Hell, I’m not an arbiter. I’m not an Olympic team scout. All I needed was your data for a thesis nobody was probably going to read anyway.”
“Don’t you have a paper to finish?”
“The final deadline is next week and I’m more than halfway done already. I have more than enough time to talk,” Hange said. Her face morphed into something a little more desperate. “Levi, I wanna know, what did I do wrong?”
At that moment, Levi froze. His eyes were completely fixed on hers, and he could only watch the way she started to study him, as if searching for an answer in the way he sat, the way he leaned back on the chair, the way he gripped the corner of the table. At once, Levi had become aware of all of his nervous ticks.
The tension in the room was thick enough at least for Levi to tell, that he wasn’t the only one feeling the discomfort. He willed himself to lean back further, get a wider view of her and he noticed the subtle signs, her hands were shaking, her lips were letting out a hint of a tremble.
Hange seemed to be in a similar state, self conscious and nervous. Maybe even ready to repent for whatever she had believed she had done wrong. As if she almost wanted to hear insults, criticisms and she even seemed ready to take a punch in the face.
But Levi’s thoughts were far from that.
The day they met, she had introduced herself and had approached him like they were close friends already.
The night they met, she had hid in the dark, watching silently while he trained. That night, she had stitched up his knee.
And in that process, she made him remember things.
You made me remember things.
And those things were what had pushed him to ‘tense up,’ to ‘work hard’ and to impress her.
But really was it anything wrong?  “You didn’t do anything wrong,” Levi said. “I told you, I made the decision to push myself on my own.”
“But what did I do to push you?”
“Do you have to be doing something to push me? What if I just met you? And I thought, I wanna help her write her thesis then things happened, then overtime I realized I’m enjoying this.”
Hange shrugged. “You pitied your biggest fan enough to give her a freebie huh?”
“I said ‘I’d gladly stay by your side.’” I don’t think people give promises like that as freebies.”
“But you just met me.”
“You haven’t even met me and you were already keeping pictures of me like some sort of stalker.”
Hange only smiled at such an accusation. Within the few months, they had gotten used to a little banter after all. “Are you just humoring me?”
“No. I’m not. I’m happy to have met you and I said it then, I’ll say it again. If you want me to, I’ll stay by your side.”
“It’s just weird, okay. You have a lot more fans than you think you do. And you get friendly with me, some frumpy nerdy fan who followed your tournaments like crazy….”
“What other explanation would you like for this? Soulmates? Fate?”
“I don’t believe in any of those,” Hange said. “I don’t wanna believe in it. I like to think that I just made the decision to reach out to you. And I just got lucky you decided to reciprocate.”
“Then I got lucky you reached out too, Hange. This goes both ways.”
“I guess it does.” Hange closed her laptop and looked up at the ceiling. “Sorry if this came out of nowhere. With my last exam over, this was the only time I got to think about it again. But you know, thanks for staying here with me even if I was ignoring you half the time.”
“I knew you had a lot to make up for and besides, I’m fine just quietly sitting by.”
Hange’s features softened into a warm smile. “Me too. I’ll make this up to you. If I get this paper written by Friday. I’ll submit then. After that, you wanna go somewhere? Just the two of us?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to work on your thesis?”
“Your birthday is on the 25th right? But I wanna do something for Christmas so I’m thinking... what if we have an early birthday celebration and we do something else for Christmas?
“You know that’s my birthday Hange, I get to decide how I wanna spend it.”
“But what if it’s my treat?”
“It’s still my birthday.”
Hange gave him a long look. “Okay, what about this? I’m hoping to use your stories for references to my thesis. And I wanna make it up to you… I’ll treat you out on Saturday for that then after, you decide what you wanna do on your birthday.”
“I never said we couldn’t do that for my birthday.”
“Well if you were just more direct with things we wouldn't have to bounce off ideas like this back and forth. Are we celebrating your birthday early or not?”
“And besides I never even said anything about you using my stories for your thesis.”
“Just answer the questions one at a time Levi,” Hange pressed. She checked her watch. “And...I’m meeting someone in a few minutes.”
“Before I answer, what’s your thesis about?”
Hange looked ready to pull her hair out in frustration. “I don’t know yet but I might use it. Anyway, if you’re not gonna answer me, then we treat this Saturday as my celebration for your birthday. Deal?”
“Yes to the thesis. Yes to the early birthday. Are you happy?”
Hange let out a loud sigh of exasperation. “There. Why did that take so long to get out of you?”
Levi ignored that question. “So when are you going to tell me what your new thesis is about?”
“Maybe during your actual birthday? If you bestow on me the privilege of celebrating such an important occasion with you?“ Hange suggested. She quickly gathered her things and dumped it into her canvas bag. Her movements were wilder, messier than usual. So messy Levi found himself cringing at such a sight. He was fairly certain Hange had done that on purpose.
He only confirmed it a second later, as Hange bolted towards the door and gave him the most smug face.
Levi was sure, if he wasn’t so injured, he probably would have bolted right after her. And he was certain he would have caught up to her.
***
“Nice hoodie. The color green really suits you,” Hange called in a way of greeting.
There were no hi’s or hello’s and she hadn’t given one in a while. Yet for some reason, such an unconventional greeting still had Levi raising eyebrows. “Is this your way of making up for a few days ago?”
Hange shrugged. “What if I just wanted to compliment your new hoodie?”
“For one, this is not a new hoodie,” Levi said. “Besides we didn’t separate on the best of terms last Wednesday and you didn’t even reply to my messages after.”
“Well, I finished my paper and I started my thesis… And hey... I did leave you some messages.”
Levi was sure he didn’t receive any messages. He did not receive any notifications for sure. On top of that, he had taken the liberty as well to check back to his inbox every hour or so. Just to make sure his notifications were actually working
But still just in case he was mistaken, he checked his phone under her confused yet watchful gaze only to find that in fact he was right, she didn’t send any messages. He opened up to their untouched chat box and showed it to her.
“Did you check your document?”
“My document?”
“The one with the soldier and titan stories.”
“Why the hell would you leave messages there?”
“I was catching up to it okay.” Hange’s lips curled up into a smile as she spoke. “And I really enjoyed it. A lot. I left so many comments there. I thought you’d reply.”
Levi looked away guiltily. He turned off the notifications on the document a few weeks back. He liked to blame finals week for the inactivity. Yet with all his final papers completed and submitted, he was still making a conscious effort to ignore that document.
But did he want to tell her that? For a while maybe he did consider telling her he had no intention of touching it again.
But Hange continued talking. “When Commander Hange told Captain Levi to live with him in the woods… Wow you know you described it pretty well, I could almost imagine what was happening. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I managed to dream up something like that. But why did you have to end like that?” Hange twisted her face into a little too serious of an expression. “Shoot or listen it’s up to you.” Hange repeated, an attempt at mimicking Captain Levi for sure, but it was too comical given the context of the tirade.
Shoot or listen it’s up to you.
What if Captain Levi got shot? Before Levi could speak up though, Hange pressed on.
“Now that exams are over… are you gonna write more?”
Levi didn’t reply. Or at least, he couldn’t bring himself to verbalize a reply. Maybe he had brought his head up then down, in the form of some small nod. Maybe it could have been just him looking up to see the crowds making their way to the train station.
The train station closest to their university was one of the busiest ones in town. Even a little past eight on a Saturday morning, there were still crowds large enough that navigating through them still required some effort.
And whether Hange had seen that nod, or whether she had been too distracted by the buying of tickets and the navigating of crowds, Levi never thought too much about it. He brushed the thought aside as soon as she herself abandoned that topic of conversation and the question she asked only a second ago.
And she didn’t push that topic of conversation any longer. Even after they arrived at the platform, even after they boarded the train.
Train rides were always quiet. No one really ever started conversation in trains, instead passing the times with their phones on silent mode, save for a few children who still weren’t completely familiar yet with that unwritten rule
At that moment though, Levi was thankful. Hange was silent. He was silent. And he had a little more mind space to decide how to navigate the topic of his story.
Just in case she did ask again.
***
“Question, so is that the type of green that you imagined for the survey corps cloak?” Hange asked, pinching the sleeve of his hoodie.
Levi looked down at his hoodie. The hoodie was of a dark green color, and he only had to take a glance to put two and two together. “Yes it is.”
“I thought it would be. You know this is the same green I’m imagining.”
Levi smiled. He met Hange’s gaze and even when Hange had looked away, making her way to the park entrance, he made an effort to follow her gaze.
“You thought this far huh?” Levi asked, as she stopped at the turnstile and inserted her ticket then his ticket in.
Hange grabbed a flyer on the way out and looked back at him. “It was a good read. I really felt like I was in the story. And you know, it might sound weird but I kinda really saw myself in her. You know that passion she felt, with the titans and all… I think I’ve felt something similar back when I was still winning competitions when I was younger. I did loads of research back in high school.”
Levi only had to look back at the long hours he had spent stalking her on article after article to confirm that she was telling the truth.
Hange’s rambles about her research in high school though soon faded into some good background noise. He remembered some points, he forgot some. Then, his main focus though had been the green scenery that welcomed him as soon as they exited the train station. The station exit had opened up to a park, a large park with no end in sight. Only flowers and shrubs that lead up to trees with the mountains and horizons at the back of it all.
“When I was reading your story, they talked about what lay beyond the walls… For some reason, I imagined this park. I saw it on a documentary a few years back, streams that seem like they stretch out for eternity, miles and miles of mountains and forests. They said, when you step out of the station, it would feel like another world. And when I thought about what to do for your birthday...” Hange trailed off as she stepped forward into the main path. “I thought… why not show you the scenery I imagined? Maybe I could contribute to your story, help inspire you to write. I hope this view didn’t disappoint.”
It doesn’t. It’s beautiful.
Thinking about it, of course there had been a little more people exiting the train at that station. Of course the station would be much larger and a little more exquisite than other stations.
The view proved to be very much worth the three hour travel and the struggle of changing trains.
They had taken a regional train, then had switched to a few local ones. And looking out the window of the train then, Levi had appreciated how the landscape quickly changed almost blending across one another, the bare trees which almost had a grey tint to them, had gradually shifted to dull bare rice fields. Somewhere in between, the evergreen trees made their entrance, slowly then all at once, in some strange sort of way that Levi was never able to pick out the exact moment that he was sure, the evergreen trees were there to stay for good.
The snow had yet to fall there, and with the evergreen trees and the moss and lichens that littered the paths, Levi could at least pretend it wasn’t winter yet.
Green after all, was a very warm color.
Hange opened her map and leaned a little closer towards Levi so he could get a good look. The map was all green, decorated with markers, mini mountains, rest houses, water refill areas, toilets and picnic sites. There were flower symbols, marked by season. And skirting the circumference of the map were three circles: a large green one, inside it a red one, inside it a yellow one, a very small circle that covered two picnic areas and one flower area occupied the center and next to it a bright red arrow marker ‘You are here.’
“So, I know you wouldn’t be able to handle too much of a walk yet, so we could stick to something short? Just skirt around this area…” She traced the smallest circle along the park and turned to him expectantly.
“What do you wanna see?” Levi asked.
“Anything really. I’m just happy to be able to visit a park like this.”
“No, really Hange. What do you wanna see?” Levi pressed. He planted his bum leg on the ground and stepped forward with it with a little more finesse as if to prove a point. I can walk at least. “If I wasn’t injured right now, where would you have pulled me to go?”
There was some progress at least. He was surprised to see that he could put some extra weight on his knee without so much as a wobble. The stiff brace was probably doing all the work then but Levi was confident he could get a good number of steps across before tiring out his body.
“I’m sure we both don’t want another hospital visit.,” Hange warned.
“I’m fine. I’ve had enough physical therapy lessons and I managed to put some weight on my knee already. Even without the brace..”
For a second, there was a glimmer of hope in Hange’s eyes. She blinked it back before Levi could be sure. “I’m fine with the shortest path,” she said. “This blue one.”
“Are you sure? All we’re gonna see if we follow this path are two picnic sites, a mini forest and one portapotty. You’ll be disappointed.”
“But Levi, what if you get injured again?”
“Didn’t you say this was my birthday treat?”
“We can always go again---”
“In the summer? After you finish your thesis?” Levi raised one eyebrow at her in accusation. “We endured a three hour train ride for this. Let’s make the most of it.”
“Then… which path do you wanna follow?” Hange asked.
Levi gently placed one finger on the green one and traced it. He had only gone half way before Hange pulled the map away.
“No way. That’s at least a five kilometer hike,” Hange said.
Levi pulled the map back gently and pointed at the markers. “Come on, the landscape here seems pretty flat and there’s a forest here and a river. And if we walk ahead here... I’m guessing you wanna see the mountain? They built an observatory there,” Levi said. “Didn’t you say you wanted to know how it feels like to fly?”
Hange’s face turned a little red, her eyes looking a little unfocused as she followed the map with her eyes and looked ahead at the scenery. When Levi squinted, he could tell the peak which stood out from the rest, the small lump that stuck out on one of the hills, a little higher than the rest.
“You didn’t get to do this a lot when you were a kid huh?” Levi asked. He didn’t intend it to be a provocation at first. But when Hange folded her map and took a deep breath, he was grateful for those last few words that popped into his head then.
“My parents didn’t really like taking vacations in the countryside,” Hange admitted.
“One round around there, maybe we’ll go all the way up to the observatory and back,” Levi said. “And if my knee starts hurting, I promise, I’ll tell you.”
Hange’s lips curled up into a playful smile. “If I need to, I’ll carry you back.” She walked ahead, gesturing for him to follow. Levi was almost tempted not to follow. That little playful of an offer and the uncertainty that came with Levi wondering a little too hard about whether she was kidding or nothing, had him entertaining the idea of turning his back on her for a second.
Just to mess with her.
The view had been much stronger then, the way the sun shone on Hange and reflected on her glasses had been too beautiful of a view. It had been a while since he’d seen that much green.
And it wouldn’t be that way for the next three months at least.
As he followed her to the path that followed that large green sign, Levi started to think, maybe that experience might just be worth the embarrassment of a piggy back ride on the way back.
***
Man down!
Hey! Are you alive?
“So the river must be pretty near here huh...” Hange said, not looking up from the map.
Levi had heard the sound of the rushing water stream before she had mentioned it. Whether it had been a river or a stream, he didn’t bother trifling with such detail. The trees that lined the main path, and the sound of rushing water had brought him somewhere else, to another time.
“Wanna see the river?” Hange grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards a smaller path that had been unnoticeable from his peripherals.
As Levi looked to the right, to the shrubs that opened up into an empty space, he noticed the remnants of a path almost completely concealed by shrubs.
“Why would you wanna see the river?”
Hange shrugged. “We don’t get to see this much nature often right? If we follow it…. Maybe we can see a waterfall at the end?”
Levi narrowed his eyes. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen that much nature since he had gone home for a visit more than a few years ago. Maybe that was why the greens and the landscapes had been oddly fascinating.
And Hange. Hange was a lot more entranced than he was. He could have sworn he had lost her a few times to the trees that lined the path.
“We take a look,” Levi said. “Then we go back on the path. I don’t want us getting lost here.”
Hange was too engrossed in her surroundings and then, her eyes had looked a little too wild. But the moment Levi had mentioned that last part, Hange twisted her face into a pout, a pout of defeat at least. “You’re right. Let’s just check out the river here and go back the way we came.” She clutched his hand, gripping a little tighter than usual. “Your knee is still okay right?”
Levi nodded. There could have been some lie to the reaction but it was still too small of a lie for him to need to justify anything. His knee ached for sure. It was an ache dull enough though for Levi to clock it to the tightness of his brace.
To his relief, the river was only less than a two minute walk away. It had seemed farther due to the dense forest that lined the main path. But the density could have been an illusion as well. It opened up to a treeless plain, just a good few meters of grass and beyond that was a river that harbored such a violent flow of water.
Both violent and peaceful, Levi soon realized. As if it was the river’s business to just run hurriedly towards its destination while at the same time crashing towards the shore.
“The river I imagined was a lot like this,” Hange spoke up.
“What river?”
“The one in your story.” Hange answered matter-of-factly. Her eyes were wide with surprise.
Levi wondered if his face showed any sign of that little charade. He had recognized it after all, long before Hange had even mentioned it. It turned out, only the rushing sound of water was enough for him to recall it so vividly.
The view in front of him only added salt to the wounds he just recently realized he had.
Phantom wounds. Even the word phantom couldn’t really justify how it felt then. Back he had written it, he could empathize for sure. Then and there, the view in front of him, had him touching his right eye, just to make sure it was still there and soon after, he wiggled his two fingers just to make sure they were still attached.
“Commander Hange found him in a river like this right? Did you imagine this kind of river too?”
“Maybe,” Levi muttered. He didn’t think too far as to the width of the river or the shape of the blades of grass below. The rushing of the river, the tone of Hange’s voice were enough at least to make him realize that could have very much been the river banks she had found him on. “Commander Hange would now.” Levi added a second later.
Hange cleared her throat. “Well then, I’ll make you imagine it. Call me commander Hange Zoe,” Hange said. “So after the river, where did we go next, Captain Levi?”
“You read it right?”
“They jumped into the river together,” Hange said.
Levi’s eyes widened. “They did?” Levi had dreamt of splashes, the cold water slapping at his face and the numbness that followed. Of course that would have meant them jumping into the river. But why had it taken him so long to put two and two together? “Yeah you’re right. They did.”
Hange chuckled. “Weren’t you the one who wrote it?” She looked back at the dense foliage behind them and back at him. “Let’s go back?”
“Yeah… Sure…” Levi turned on his heel, making his way back to the path only stopping when Hange grabbed at his arm and put it around her shoulder.
“You’re walking much slower now you know,” she said. “Should we go back?”
Levi shook his head. “No, keep going.” His weight on her shoulders was a familiar sensation, almost nostalgic. And the green around him, the breeze and the peaceful rustle of leaves only helped to comfort him further.
There may have been some others along the trail, but Levi wasn’t looking at anyone else. Along the way on the path, the small support had evolved to a piggy back ride.
Surprisingly, Levi wasn’t at all self conscious.
“You’re much lighter than I thought you would be.”
“I honestly feel like I’ve lost weight since the injury. I probably had a lot more muscle back in the summer.” Levi let his head hang back as he stared up at the blue sky above him. The two stopped for a rest in one of the forest clearings a good few meters away from the path.
The ground beneath him was dirty for sure and he felt the leaves and stones through his thick joggers. For some reason though, he wasn’t at all in a hurry to get up.
Hange squeezed his leg. “I’d think physical therapy would have done something about that.”
“Hange, can anyone actually gain muscle learning how to walk again?”
“I’m pretty sure you do other stuff in therapy.”
“Yeah, but it’s far from the training I used to do for high jumps,” Levi said. “Even if my knee magically heals now, who knows if I’ll even be able to manage a two meter jump again.”
Hange closed her eyes and hummed, seeming deep in thought for a second. “Captain Levi was humanity’s strongest,” she said. “Then he got injured in some explosion and ended up half dead on the banks of the river.”
Levi could only watch silently as Hange pulled her legs a little closer to herself and pressed one finger to her left eye and before he knew it, Levi found himself mirroring that slight movement, the phantom pains returned for a split second.
“But I can’t imagine the story ended there. Humanity’s strongest soldier wouldn’t go out of commission over an injury like that. After that, he had to continue fighting right?” Hange continued.
Maybe we should just live here together. Right Levi?
If we keep running and hiding, what will that get us.
The rustle of the leaves, the clear sky above him and the way Hange had rested her elbow on her knees, touching her hand to her left eye. Those were more than enough crumbs for Levi to almost hear the conversation in the silence.
Shoot or Listen. It’s up to you.
“He continued fighting,” Levi said. He let out a cough. “No--- They continued fighting. Captain Levi and Commander Hange Zoe did.”
***
“Maybe I should have built a cart,” Hange said as she rested on the bench. She heaved a breath so strong Levi could have believed she had held her breath the whole way to the rest house.
“You didn’t have to support me here. I could have walked it.”
“Believe me Levi, this isn’t much. It’s like just another day in the gym,” Hange said.
“If we were doing this months ago I could have done five rounds of this trail with you on my back.”
Hange grinned. “Is that a challenge?”
“I said five months ago. Not now.”
Levi stretched his arms out, noting how heavy it was then, particularly when compared to months ago. Back then, it had been his arms carrying him over the bar, then and there stretched out in front of him, those same arms felt like dead weight. And the dead weight stretched out to all parts of his body, all the way until his legs, settling particularly on his braced knee.
And for a second, it hurt. Enough for Levi to instinctively put his hand on top of it, an attempt to pacify it before it got unbearable.
A second later, another propped her hand on top of his and Levi followed it all the way up until Hange.
Her face was hopeful, her eyes wide with what could have been curiosity and soon enough, maybe plans and ideas. “When your knee heals, let’s do this again,” she said.
The path wouldn’t change. It would pass by the same glades, the same rivers and through the halfway point that was the rest house.
The seasons would change the scenery for sure, each would bring its own flavor to the paths. But Levi was sure that wasn’t what Hange was thinking about then as she looked elsewhere, first scanning her surroundings then settling somewhere above.
Levi didn’t have to follow her gaze to know it. It had been the main attraction since they had gotten past the forest and into the clearing.
Of course, that was what Hange would have liked to see.
There was a reason the rest house had been placed so conveniently there at that halfway point. In front of the rest house, the mountain path broke into a fork, one with the green sign which would loop back to the entrance, the other snaked up the mountain, so steeply Levi was sure in his current state, he would only injure himself further if he attempted to climb to the top.
And what lay above there, was the observatory, the one lump he had remembered seeing from the entrance of the station.
We walked that far? Levi thought to himself then. He looked to Hange who was still very much focused on the view of the observatory from their place on the bench.
You’re still looking at it? “You really wanna check it out?” Levi asked.
“The what?” Hange looked back at him, her eyes wide with surprise.
“The observatory, on the peak, up there.”
“Maybe next time.” She shrugged, “Even if you insist, I’m not making you climb that.”
The trail was steep enough at least that Levi was sure they’d have to be on all fours for a good majority of that difficult hike.
“You wanna get something to eat?” Hange asked as she held a hand out to help him up.
“Sure.”
The resthouse only offered the bare minimum, rice balls and sandwiches as if they were doing their part to prevent anybody else from overeating mid hike. Those amenities, the indoor benches and the indoor heating was more than enough though for an already exhausted Levi.
It was as if his body realized that it was time to rest, and chose that moment to complain, putting emphasis in particular to the aches and pains on his knee. Even holding on to Hange who had supported him the rest of the way, had brought with it a few more unwelcome pains and even Levi’s shoulders that had not done much but tense up as he held on to Hange, were starting to hurt.
“You tired?” She asked in between bites of her riceball.
“I’m having fun.”
“That wasn’t the question,” Hange retorted.
“Aren’t you supposed to be tired, you were pretty much supporting me the whole time.”
Hange rolled her shoulders. “I still workout in between studies. Besides I told you, you’re light.” she said.
But Levi did notice in her flushed face and the way she had paused a few times in between sentences, she was tired. Tired but still very much enjoying it. Tired but still very much unsatisfied.
And he saw it in the way she would sneak glances out the window as if…
“You really wanna climb the hill, don’t you?”
Hange bit her lip, quickly crumpling the empty wrapper of the rice ball. As if that could have been enough to stave whatever conflicted feelings seemed to be boiling inside her.
“It’s fine, okay. You can leave me here first.”
“But… I wanna see that view with you.” Hange said. “We could wait until the summer, when your leg is fully healed. Maybe we could ask Erwin about it…”
“Summer is a long time from now and before that, you’re gonna have to finish your thesis, then you’re gonna have to defend it. Who knows how quickly things will change by then,”
Hange avoided his gaze, instead focusing on the crumpled plastic wrapper in front of her and she held it in her hands like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Hange, I can wait here you know.” Levi pressed. “I’ve flown more than enough times to be satisfied for a lifetime. You don’t have to wait for me. Just show me the way next summer.”
Hange required more prodding after that. But Levi had figured out the secret to it already. All he had to do was subtly lead her to the spot where the path quickly bent upwards, to the steep incline, so steep that Levi couldn’t completely get a view of what lay beyond, even with his head bent back it hurt.
Hange’s face though was a little more flushed and there was a sparkle in her eyes. She was almost there.
Levi just had to push her a little closer. “It might get cold up there.” He removed his hoodie and handed it to her. “I’ll be waiting inside the resthouse so I’ll keep warm there. Just come back there after you’re satisfied.”
Hange gave him a look of surprise which quickly softened into something that resembled more a puppy that was given their first treat. “Levi….” She quickly put the hoodie on and for a good few seconds, Levi was struggling to find the next words to say.
‘That shade of green… it looks good on you too,” Levi managed to say.
“This is the survey corps green after all right?” Hange said, giving him the most cheeky expression.
“Yes. And it looks good on you, Commander Hange Zoe.” It could have been instinct or it could have been something else. But maybe along the way, he had just gotten used to pushing and prodding at her, the way she had done to him many times before.
He found himself pressing his left fist into her heart, focusing then on the way the fingers on his left hand curled clumsily into a fist. He was right handed, yet it was his left hand that fought for ground on her chest.
“Climb to your heart’s content.”
Dedicate your heart.
As Hange looked up at the steep hill above her, the afternoon sun chose that moment to shine on her, and Levi made out the sweat in her brow.
“To your heart’s content? That’s a pretty cheesy line Levi.”
That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.
And before Levi could even say a last goodbye, beg her to come back, she turned her back to him.
He could have called out to her, he was sure of it. But then, as he watched her climb, he could only stand frozen.
At first, he wanted to attribute it to the chill. He was only wearing one thin sweater, one layer, in almost sub zero temperatures. But the biting cold was the last thing on his mind.
Why didn’t you run after her?
The phantom pains came back. And that time, they weren’t pale in comparison to the rest of the sensations. They took over, as if the view in front of him then had breathed new life into those wounds.
Why couldn’t I run after her?
His whole body ached. His legs were bruised, his stomach was eating him inside out. HIs fingers burned and his face stung of wounds.
And he forced himself to look above him as Hange continued to climb. The sun was streaming right into his face, and even as his eyes burned at such a sight, Levi couldn’t look away.
It was as if the afternoon sun was eating her up, every color in her, the shadows consumed her. And soon, the only thing he could see was a black silhouette, that only got smaller and smaller the longer he looked.
See you later, Hange.
“And then what happened?” Levi muttered to himself, as if saying it out loud would make the dreams and the memories come at him faster.
They weren’t feeling obedient at all that day though.
“What happened to Hange?” He pressed, his voice a little louder than a second ago.
Levi forced himself to look back up as if searching for some sort of an answer in the view in front of him then. The memories and dreams after all had a tendency of washing over him after he fixates on the subject a little longer than necessary.
It never came though and soon enough, her silhouette was small enough to be fully covered by his pinky finger as he reached his hand out and raised his hand over his face.
And he was starting to get a little more desperate. If he couldn’t call out to those memories, he could call out to her, right?
“Hange!” Can you hear me? The memories couldn’t have ended there.
The last view of her was a silhouette, a black silhouette, much farther and much smaller than the one in front of him then. But at that moment, she felt far, completely out of reach.
Levi’s throat burned, his vision blurred as if trying to get rid of even that remnant of view.
Around that time, time stopped. Everything started to dissolve into conglomerations of sights and sounds. He was starting to even have trouble processing the rustling of the leaves and even the voices in the background.
And as he tried to take control of his body then, with the smaller motions, Levi soon started to realize he wasn’t even in control of his fingers, his hands or his legs. He moved the goalposts, attempting to at least take control of breaths, the rhythm as he swallowed that lump in his throat.
His body though was a spiteful thing. As soon as he became aware of those small motions though, it deprived him of those comforts as well.
And Levi soon found himself struggling to breathe, struggling to swallow.
Soon, he was struggling to do anything to remind himself that his body was still his to control.
“Hey, sir are you okay?”
What…
“Hey Levi… Look at me?”
Hange… When did you get here?
Hange’s eyes were fixed on his. And she narrowed her eyes and furrowed her brows as if deep in thought. And in her eyes he saw a glimmer of something else. Concern?
Soon enough, a shadow went over his right eye and before Levi could recoil, it was gone. But the shadow left the cool feeling of something wet under his eyes.
Wet...Tears?
Hange spoke up only confirming it. “Levi… Why are you crying?”
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Text
You Belong With Me - Chapter 34
AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost  
Description:   Much to his surprise, after being released from prison for a crime he didn’t commit, Logan has been appointed as a the prince’s new advisor.  
Word Count: 6972
Chapter Warnings contain major spoilers so they’re at the end of the post, but please scroll down to check them if you need to! This chapter gets a bit heavy <3
-
    Logan inhaled slowly as he cast one last glance down the empty corridor behind him. He could feel Dee's impatience growing behind him as he took another step towards the fae's cell. Still, he felt himself pause, subconsciously doubting his choices as he turned to to face the wall outside Dee's cell. A dim, amber light fell from the small sconce burning on the wall to his left. He quickly reached up to the thin torch, wrapping his fingers around the wooden base. With a light shove, he dislodged the lit torch from its holder and turned to step through into the grey light of Dee's cell.
    He slowed, holding the torch out in front of him as he ducked through the doorway. He turned his body, edging carefully along the back wall, scanning the cell in front of him to catch sight of Dee's shadowy figure. The hairs on the back of his neck started to raise as continued to search the dim cell for the hostile fae. He barely kept the fear that his enemy had escaped at bay with the knowledge he’d heard the man's voice only a moment before. Logan could feel his energy. He had to be here.
    Finally, his heart jumped in his chest he caught the subtle glimmer of his torchlight reflecting in Dee's eyes at the back of the cell. Logan straightened upright with a questioning glance. Dee’s restraints appeared to be pulled taut and Logan could only guess the fae was as far back into the cell as the chains would allow. Logan continued to hold the torch out in front of him, crouching defensively as he quickly glanced up and down at the thin silhouette standing in the dark abyss of the back of the room.
     “Well, well,” Dee's dry laugh sent chills down Logan’s neck. “I almost didn’t think you had enough of a spine to ditch the prince's lap dog—”
    “Don't.” Logan gritted his teeth as he cut off Dee's attempt to get under his skin. He kept he gaze trained carefully on the billowing figure as he reached upward to place the torch in his hand into the empty sconce across from Dee's cell. The thin torch barely illuminated a small radius in front of him, barely keeping the shadows close to him at bay. “I'm not here to talk about Virgil. Refrain from insulting my friend or I’ll—”
    “Or you'll what?” Dee's wry grin stood out starkly against the shadows around him as glared threateningly at Logan. “Leave? If you had a shred of common sense, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.” Dee scoffed as Logan's expression soured. “Unfortunately for you, you’re the one here who wants something. So, I think you'll find I can speak about your friends anyway I damn please.”
    Logan stood against the far wall, rigid with irritation at the truth of Dee’s statement. He clenched his jaw as his eyes shot daggers across the room at the faint silhouette of Dee leaning against the wall at the back of the cell in front of him.
    “That’s what I thought. You’re as weak as I expected.” Dee sneered. A slight hiss escaped his lips as he struggled to contain the disdain in his voice. “I may be the prisoner, but you’ll never hold power with me. You’re merely a pawn in the bigger game I'm playing.”
    Logan paused, blinking in surprise. His careful, guarded expression faltered briefly as the air wavered with an emotion he didn’t recognize. He parted his lips slightly, subtly tasting the unfamiliar feeling in the air. He stared into the dark blankly for a moment, trying to parse out some meaning to Dee's quickly shifting emotions before bitterly swallowing back the urge to comment  and moving on.
    “Well, clearly you wanted me here, Dee. The pawn moved where you expected, and now it's your move.” Logan pulled his shoulders back, not allowing his emotions to breach his carefully neutral expression. “So, are you actually able to tell me what happened to my parents or was this merely a ruse to get me alone?”
    The silence hanging in air between them would have been deafening if Logan's heart wasn't pounding in his chest as he waited for Dee’s answer. He stared rebelliously into the subtle reflection of light in Dee’s unblinking eyes for what felt like an eternity, willing himself not to show that even without access to his power, Dee’s cold gaze sent a chill down his arms. Eventually, he couldn’t help but take a step back. His arm brushed the surface of the wall behind him and he jumped, almost missing the words that left Dee’s lips in that moment.
    “You really don’t know anything. Do you?”
     Logan paused, slowly glancing up in the cell as he processed Dee’s words. “What?”
    “You don’t have parents.” Dee stated dryly. “You had Tara. “
    The light Dee’s eyes flickered as he blinked and Logan tensed as he waited for Dee’s to continue.
    “Actually, come to think of it. Tara wouldn’t have been able to resist my invitation either." Dee mused quietly. "It was easy to tempt her with knowledge. I would have pitied the fool who dared stand in her way of what she wanted to know.”
   Logan’s breath caught in his throat as the name seemed to resonate with familiarity in his mind. “T-Tara?”
    “That was your—” Dee snarled with disgust. “—your mother's name. Her full name was Taranis of the Southern Sky, but she went by Tara.”
    “Taranis of the Southern Sky?” Logan spoke slowly tasting unfamiliar words as his mind race. He almost found himself stepping forward in curiosity, but immediately halted, remembering whom he was speaking. With a twitch of a frown, he glared across the line of the cell bars. “Like the planet?”
     Dee’s scoffed at Logan’s timid question, and amusement radiated out of the cell. “Yes. Though in the interest of being entirely accurate, the planet was named after her, not the other way around.”
    Logan narrowed his eyes into the dark, taken aback by the sudden lack of malice in Dee’s voice. “What do you mean?”
    “Humans are nothing but parasites on this land.” Dee drew out his words thoughtfully. “They’re disgustingly cruel, but even I will admit their tendency to connect two completely separate ideas by a mere thread is endlessly amusing.”
    Logan stood motionless, listening to Dee as he reflected nostalgically. He held his breath not wanting to draw Dee out of his seemingly peaceful state by reminding him of who he was speaking to.
    “The planet you’re referring to glows a brilliantly bright blue, just like Tara's lightning.” Dee mused quietly.  “That's all the connection humans needed to connect her power to the celestial body in the southern sky. She even added it to her own name in appreciation of the connection.”
     Logan stared into the darkness, nearly paralyzed in disbelief at what could only be sadness in Dee’s voice. “I-I thought—” Logan paused, staring nervously as Dee's eyes turned up to him. “—I ‘ve read extensively about the mythology associated with Taranis. Everything I’ve read implied that it had been named after a god of thunder.”
     Dee was silent for long time and Logan couldn’t help but jump when he finally let out a deep sigh. “One of humans’ less endearing tendencies is their absolute inability to recognize the value of all of their own members. Some of them may even be tolerable if their leadership wasn’t worthless.”
    Logan was quiet as Dee’s eyes flickered dangerously in the dark.
    “She was a goddess in her own right, though thunder was far from her only claim to power. Humans have oh-so-kindly altered her myth to fit their own narrow view because they’re threatened by someone perceived as feminine having power.” Dee muttered bitterly. “Such petty cowards.”
    “Was?” Logan struggled to keep his voice steady as he stared into the shadows at Dee. Dee started to move, pacing the back of the cell, but Logan forced himself to continue to speak. “You keep using the past tense to refer to her.”
    “Well, I’m shocked.” Dee hummed condescendingly. “Maybe you’re not as much of an idiot as you look.”
    Logan subconsciously took a step back into the wall at the venom that dripped from Dee's words, jumping as his back struck the wall behind him. He gulped, feeling the air shift back to the familiar aura of Dee’s hostility.
    “You heard me correctly, Logan,” Dee’s eyes flickered in the torchlight as he snarled at Logan. “because that traitorous leech condemned her entire race to suffer and then left her only kin to pay her debt.”
    Logan’s heart dropped as Dee stepped forward. His eyes glowed gold as he stared threateningly at Logan as he stuttered out a response. “W-what?”
    “I don't have time to repeat myself, so get this through that thick skull of yours. She bolted. Well over a century ago, she took whatever reward the human king offered her, and fled the country, leaving you to the mercy of the human king. It's really no wonder you grew up to be the prince’s loyal pet.” Dee growled. Logan felt chills creep his neck as Dee’s anger turned to a smug satisfaction. “Not all is lost though. Fortunately for the Fair Folk, in her absence, the debt she owes passes to her next of kin and at the very least, she left us that.”
    “D-debt?” Logan trembled. Even standing in the heat of the flames of the sconce above him, he felt his blood run cold.
    “Surely, your dear prince told you what your mother did,” Dee replied in a disinterested tone. “though clearly he didn’t see fit enough to tell you who you were. I don't imagine you’d be here if he'd simply had the guts to tell you the truth.”
    “What are you—” Logan muttered defensive, feeling his hands start to shake.
    “Tara’s lightning is unmistakable.  There's no way our dear prince didn't know exactly who he was speaking to.” Dee continued unempathetically, barely deigning to look at Logan as he started to crumble.
    Blue lightning.
    Dee's words trailed off as a loud ringing filled Logan’s ears. He slumped clumsily back into the wall behind him. Roman had reacted to his power and the air had flooded with regret.
     He knew.
      Roman knew.
     Logan swallowed, almost choking on the lump in his throat as he slid down the wall. His muscles strained painfully as he became rigid, forcing down a vocal reaction to Dee's words. He squeezed out a few weak words, desperately needing confirmation of his thoughts.
    “She was the Elder Fae.”
    “Finally,” Dee growled impatiently. “Maybe there is a brain cell rattling around in that empty head of yours.”
    “How—” Logan nearly retched as his stomach twisted and he curled closer to the ground. “That was a century ago. How is that—"
     “Stop babbling.” Dee snapped. “Fae live for centuries. We simply age how we choose.”
    "But that can't—" Logan choked on his words as he clenched his hands into fists. “I don't remember anything. I grew up normal—”
    “Please,” Dee sneered. “I definitely don’t have anything better to do than refresh your memory.”
    Logan shivered, barely functioning as he curled his knees to his chest. One thought seemed to keep resurfacing in his mind as grief racked his body.
     Roman knew.
     “Fine. You worthless—” Dee growled derisively, cutting himself off. His eyes narrowed on Logan as he hissed out his words. “She left you in the hands of her master, the human king. We only assumed she took you with her when she fled the country, but it seems she lost no more love leaving you than the rest of us. You were held by the royal family for two generations before we even realized they still had you."
      Logan tilted his head up slowly. Dee’s silhouette stood out slightly against the wisp of moonlight from the narrow window behind him.
    “We knew only Tara's magic could end the curse, so once we realized there was a solution to the Fair Folk's suffering, we set out to take you back. Unfortunately, our mission was ill-fated from the start and before we ever reached you, you disappeared. I personally mesmerized and interrogated every knight and guard in the castle. I even got my hands on that foolish king, but you were gone without a trace.” Dee paused, tone dropping as he grew deadly serious. “So, congratulations. You got two more decades of freedom out of disappearing, but it's time to pay up.”
   “It's all my fault—” Logan dropped his gaze to the ground bitterly, feeling numb to the tremble in his limbs. “An entire generation gone—for me.”
    Dee was silent for a solid minute as he stared at Logan curled against the wall. His gaze drifted up to the torch above Logan, pondering curiously. “I must admit I didn't expect you to take the blame so easily.”
    Logan sucked in a breath as his stomach clenched. “They killed her.”
    Dee blinked in shock. “What?"
    “She died—” Logan dug his nails into his arms at the realization. “She died protecting me.”
    “No—That’s not possible.” Dee whispered and Logan looked up, barely catching sight of the fae's eyes before they disappeared into the dark.
    “The spell—or curse—” Logan whispered quietly. “Whatever term you prefer to use for the enchantment they forced her to cast.” Logan swallowed, casting his eyes to the ground. “R-Roman said that was the last request the king asked of her and it was too much for her to handle.”
    “That’s a lie.” Dee hissed threateningly. “Tara was nothing short of a god. She knew her limit. She would have backed out, if she thought it would kill her. They couldn’t force her hand—”
    “They had me.” Logan whispered quietly, running his fingers through his hair. “They took me from her and threatened to—Gods, it's my fault.”
    Dee sucked in a sharp breath and was quiet as Logan's breath became rapid. When he finally spoke, his voice strained as he attempted to hold back his seething anger. “I don't mean to rain on your pathetic pity party, but no. If that spell killed her, it was because the king drained her dry of all her energy. I told her—I told her it was too much, and she cut me out. I tried to tell her but I never thought she'd take it that far.”
    “She didn’t have a choice. The king left her with no other viable alternatives that would also keep me safe.” Logan felt his stomach unclench slightly at the soft regret in Dee’s voice. He put his hand down, pushing himself up of the ground curiously. “You knew her?”
     “I considered her a friend,” Dee scoffed in disbelief. “though she was clearly a wonderful friend, running off to be some human’s lapdog and cutting off contact with the only people that could have helped her."
    “The choice clearly wasn’t in her control.” Logan muttered defensively.
     “Right, because choosing between her entire race and the allies she'd kept for centuries and you—” Dee sneered condescendingly. “would be a difficult decision.”
    Skin prickling with anger, Logan's gaze narrowed into a glare. “Perhaps she made the right choice cutting you out, if this is how you treat your late friend’s only son.”
      “You hold your tongue or I'll tear it out.” Dee snapped with a guttural growl as he took a step forward.  “You may be her creation, but you’re not her son.”
      Logan growled. “You’re the one who called her my mother—”
      “I needed your attention, you pesky nitwit.” Dee’s voice dripped venom as he glared at Logan down the dark. “You are not worthy of her name. She was a goddess who was able to pluck the rain from the sky and the dirt from the land and she bind them together to make you. You are no more her son than the wind and the rain.” Dee's teeth almost illuminated in the dark as he bared his teeth at Logan. “You're simply a ragdoll she breathed a wisp of life into. Nothing more.”
     “Clearly, she didn’t feel the same.” Logan growled, unable to hide how deeply Dee’s words cut.
    “She was a fool.” Dee's sharp disdain cut through the air as his eyes flickered gold in the dark. “Even if she considered you her child, do you even know how many children have disappeared from their parents over the last century? Do you know how many were orphaned because their parents weren’t strong enough to fight off the humans who were hunting the Fair Folk?”
    Logan swallowed painfully, breath catching in his throat. “I know—"
    “No, you don't.” Dee hissed venomously. “Don’t pretend you have even a shred of understanding of how many lives were sacrificed to spare yours. Fae disappear and are smuggled over the border to be used for whatever power they have left. They drained of their will to live. They—”
    “She didn’t know.” Logan whispered quietly, guilt rising in his throat as empathy welled in his chest. “R-Roman said even the king couldn’t have predicted the destruction—"
    “What a comfort for the families whose lives were destroyed by their negligence.” Dee spat. His voice gradually raised in volume as emotion crackled in the air around him. “Who could have possibly predicted that humans would take advantage of the weakened fae?”
     Logan looked up suddenly as a gasp escaped Dee’s lips. The sound of metal clanging filled the air as Logan tipped his head up to see Dee’s dark silhouette bent over staring at his wrist.
    “Dee?”
    Dee's eyes shot up to him with a feral growl as Logan suddenly scrambled back to the wall behind him. Dee hissed as Logan rushed to dislodge the torch from the wall and crouched back into the dark as Logan spun back around to rush the metal bars.
      “Dee, you’re hurt.” Logan whispered breathlessly. He bit his lip, stomach twisting in empathy as the torchlight revealed streaks of red on Dee’s wrists.
      “Keep my name out of your mouth.” Dee snapped. “I don’t want your pity.”
    “You need treatment—” Logan muttered, ignoring Dee's hostile remarks. “I'll get Roman—”
     “If you bring that prince anywhere near me, I'll tear out his pretty throat with my bare teeth—”
     “Virgil, then.” Logan pleaded, suddenly growing frantic as blood dripped from his wrist."
     “No.” The wounded fae snarled, baring his teeth at Logan as he paced the bars.
     “I can't open the door without assistance—”
     “Then, don't.” Dee snapped with a menacing step forward. “I didn’t ask you for help.”
    “I don't accept that.” Logan's mind raced as stared at figure of Dee crouched over in the dim light of the back of the cell. His eyes widened as he noticed dark pools at the fae's feet. “I'll be back in a moment.”
    “Where do you think you’re going, Logan?” Dee stepped forward, metal clanging as he rushed the bars. "We're not finished here."
      Logan bit his lip, feeling a wave of guilt as he took in the full extent of Dee's injuries. A mixture of dried blood mixed with fresh as it streaked down his arms. He softened his expression. “There is a medical kit near the guard's quarters that I was able to raid for supplies for the antidote for Roman's poison. It was well stocked.”
    Dee gritted his teeth silently, unable to stop Logan as he turned to place the torch back in it's holder.
    “I'll only be a minute.” Logan whispered  apologetically, briefly glancing back at Dee's deathly glare he ducked through the archway.
    Getting to the medical kit proved to be as little of a challenge as it had been the first time he'd raided their stash of supplies for ingredients. Fortunately, they seemed to have restocked from his last encounter and even added to their extensive supply. His face twisted in disgust. Realistically, he knew he should be grateful he hadn’t needed to go far for supplies, but the sight of the growing collection sent bile rising in his throat.
     Logan knew all too well the supplies were kept stock for when Remus pushed too far on his victims. There's no mistake that this was here to keep the prisoners comfortable. There had been many instances where he'd been left to bleed in the dirt without concern for him to believe that, but the few times he'd been truly afraid he may not survive the night, Remus had allowed one of the guards to haphazardly treat his wounds. The unforgettable experience of his wounds being treated so roughly sent shudders down his body, but he'd survived, perhaps thanks to the clumsy treatment he'd been granted. Still—He clenched his jaw, refocusing his energy away from the uncomfortable memory.
     Subtle, colors filled the air as he quietly dug through the various pouches of herbs and oils, trying to guess what he might actually need. He’d only gotten a cursory glance at Dee’s injuries and hadn’t dared ask the already seething fae for a closer inspection.
    What am I doing?
    I mean, he knew he couldn’t just leave Dee to bleed out. He didn't have that cruelty in his heart, but nothing was stopping him from grabbing Roman or Virgil at this point. He'd walked away unscathed, and he knew they'd certainly help him if he asked, but he couldn't bring himself to break the small amount of trust Dee had placed in him letting him walk away.
    Not that he'd had a lot of options.
  Logan clenched his jaw and quickly hooked the waterskin he'd swiped from the guard's supplies on to his belt loop and shoved the rest of the bandages and a collection of salves and oils into his bag. He groaned and pushed himself back up toward the door, quickening his pace. Subtly, he gave a brief pause at the door, listening quietly at the door. He paused before pushing himself through the crack and making his way back to Dee's cell. Logan edged along the shadows near the walls as he deftly avoided the unobservant guards patrolling hallway of cells. His anxiety started build, creeping across his skin as he approached the figurative lion's den once more.
     Logan slowed as he tiptoed into the hallway with Dee’s cell. He could see a subtle cloud of colors drifting out of his bag carried by the wind back the way he'd came. He could taste the herbs on the air as he stopped quietly in the hall outside the door, listening intently.
    He heard a subtle whisper as he crept across the threshold toward Dee. Listening intently, he peered around the corner as the whispers stopped. Logan looked into the dark corners of the cell as he turned the corner, immediately spotting Dee’s eyes glowing their usual bright gold.
     Logan stared curiously at Dee, who seemed to be too distracted to notice Logan re-entering the room. He carefully traced Dee's line of sight to the far corner of the room as he let out a distinct hiss while he appeared to stare at nothing. Logan froze in place, miscalculating a step as Dee's cold stare turned to him.
    “Oh, good.” Dee snipped. The glow of his eyes flickered with exhaustion as he watched Logan slowly unfreeze and move quietly to the cell door. “My daring hero has returned from his harrowing journey that was absolutely not pointless—”
    “Shut up.” Logan muttered in an exhausted tone as he grabbed the torch out of it's holder and turned to scan the walls of the cell. “You need treatment.”
    “You can't get to me.” Dee spat coldly. "Therefore, this venture was pointless."
    “I can, actually.” Logan stated dryly.
    Dee paused, staring at him suspiciously. “How?”
    “You'll see soon enough.” Logan’s chest tightened nervously as he turned to face the wall behind him. He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out the lockpicking set Virgil had given him. He hesitated, fidgeting with the tools in his hand as he cautiously kept the picks out of Dee’s sight. Picking the lock to the cell door would certainly easy enough. Virgil had implied that the locks in the dungeons were of amateur design, but doing so was as good as showing his hand to a man who seemed determined to prove himself Logan’s enemy, and Logan certainly couldn't see how that was a wise course of action.
    Logan sighed, defeated. He couldn’t knowingly walk away while Dee was in his current condition, not even to fetch Roman. So, he steeled his stare and turned to move to the cell door fiddling with his picks.
    “What are you doing?” Dee hissed the demand, staring at him..
    “I think it is very apparent what I attempting to do.”  Logan growled back. “Unfortunately, if you have questions, they will have to wait as I need to focus.”
    Dee seemed to bite back a sour retort as Logan slid the first pick into the narrow lock. He glared silently at Logan, but allowed him to work in peace as he got a feel for the pins. Logan glanced up at Dee’s unblinking stare as he manipulated the last pin into place. He knew he could simply pop the lock open, but he let the pin fall out of place, but Dee’s injuries didn't appear to be an immediate threat to his life. To be perfectly fair, if he was being forced to show his hand on his new skill, he still didn't have to reveal to Dee that he was good at it. A few minutes passed as Logan played up his lack of skill, smiling subtly as Dee grew frustrated.
    “Why don’t you give up? You obviously don’t—"
    A single pop from the metal of the cell  door stopped Dee’s statement in it's tracks. Logan couldn’t help the smug smile that spread across his face as Dee watched him slowly push open the cell door.
    “Stay away from me.”
    “I think we've established that's not going to happen.” Logan chided softly as he stepped forward. He kneeled down in front of the fae and held out his hand  to Dee expectantly. “Give me your wrist.”
    The scales on his face glowed a dull yellow as Dee hissed threateningly at Logan as he kneeled beside him, but much to his surprise Logan simply hissed back at him. Anger burned in Dee's eyes at the response. “Don’t treat me like a feral animal.”
    “Don’t act like a feral animal.” Logan grunted as he gestured sternly for Dee to extend his wrist. He felt a small surge of empathy as he met Dee’s gaze. His scales dull glimmer gave away the exhaustion he was so clearly trying to hide.
     Dee's heated glare would have withered his willpower away in any other circumstances, but right now, he had a job to do. His focus narrowed as Dee reluctantly held out his wrist. The wounds were not immediately apparent under the layers of dried blood, so Logan reached into his bag, pulling out a cloth to wet with his waterskin.
     “Tell me if this hurts.” Logan muttered, not looking up. "I can be more gentle, if I need to."
     “Like you’d care.” Dee hissed back, flinching at the feeling of the cold water as the cloth brushed his skin.
    “I do care.”
    Dee paused, staring at Logan uncertainly. “Why?”
    “I simply don’t glean pleasure from seeing others in pain,” Logan whispered as he gently began to work away the layers of blood.
    Dee scoffed quietly. “Well, I certainly have not extended you the same courtesy, so surely some part of you enjoys the reversal of power.”
    “I want to help you, Dee. Any power you claim I have over you exists purely in your own perspective.” Logan stated without glancing up. He examined Dee’s wrist closely, knowing he couldn’t proceed with the cuff around Dee’s forearm in the way. He tilted his head up to Dee’s golden eyes. “I’m going to take your bind off, but I expect for it to go back after I've finished.”
    “Starting to give commands already,” Dee muttered. “How noble our sweet ragdoll is.”
    “I don't enjoy seeing you bound either, but I'm no fool.” Logan pulled out his tools and started to slide the pick into the lock, allowing his focus to drift from Dee’s intense stare. “You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear and I'm not interested in being a willing target of your rage.”
    Dee was quiet as the first cuff popped open and Logan froze as it revealed several deep gashes underneath the cuff. Large, red welts raised on his arm around the cuff, an indicator of the powerful fae’s reaction to the metal. The welts and irritation were to be expected but Logan couldn’t deny the cuts looked more purposeful.
    “The guards haven’t noticed your injuries?” Logan whispered, gently rolling Dee’s wrist to get a better look.
    “You know firsthand they simply don’t care, especially since I’m not human to begin with.” Dee growled avoiding his gaze.
    “But they should have reported it so that Roman could have done some—”
    “Your idiot prince has no idea about my injuries. I can assure you of that.” Dee replied bitterly.
    Logan swallowed, not wanting to admit the relief that washed over him at the thought that Roman had not been the one to be negligent of the fae's injuries. He bit his lip as he dropped his gaze. “Still, surely the guard would’ve approached Remus, given your relationship.”
    “Bold of you to assume that Remus was not the source of my injuries.” Dee whispered tiredly.
    Logan paused, looking up at him in horror. “I thought—"
    “You thought wrong.” Dee cut him off, and Logan looked up to see him staring distantly over Logan’s shoulder. “I told you there was no affection between us.”
    “Still,” Logan whispered. “I didn’t imagine he would hurt you.”
    “It's my own fault really. I should have predicted he would become destructive if left to his own devices. He can't resist the temptation of  hurting someone powerful when they're helpless in front of him.” Dee whispered quietly, still staring absently over Logan’s shoulder. “I’ve been his keeper long enough to know it's the way he was created.”
    “His keeper?” Logan asked, his voice carefully neutral as he listened curiously.
    Dee seemed to tense with the realization of what he'd said, but Logan remained patient. He kept working at Dee's injuries gently applying the soothing salve to his irritated injuries. The methodic movements seemed to lull Dee into speaking the words he seemed to desperately want to say.
    “You may be the key to undoing the curse that Tara placed on us, but that doesn’t mean that the Seelie and Unseelie courts simply rolled over and gave up when you disappeared.” Dee started tiredly. His voice hung heavy in his throat as he watched Logan begin to wrap his arm. “There was a plot. When Roman and Remus were born, the courts were reeling with grief from the loss of our chance at redemption. You were gone, and with your disappearance, the courts lost all hope of lifting the enchantment. It was a dark time for our people, and in their grief, for the first time in nearly three centuries, they made the choice to create a changeling."
    Logan paused as pinned off the end of Dee's bandages and moved to the next arm. He hung his head as he listened, pulling his lockpicks out of his pocket as he started on the second cuff
    “They wanted to fell the humans from the inside out, create a kink in their rule that would destabilize their monarchy and maybe give us a chance to survive their systematic destruction. Unfortunately, as had been the case so many times, the universe seemed determined to foil our attempt at salvation.” Dee watched absently as the second cuff fell off his wrist, barely reacting as Logan set to work on clearing the blood off of the deep cuts. “Despite popular belief, changelings can't be created on a whim. They take seven years to grow and nurture for the right traits before they can be switched. Continuing our stellar streak of luck, on the night of their birth, a lock of hair was taken from the kings' son and the process of creation had begun. No one realized until later that twins had been born and we had created a changeling of the wrong child.”
  Logan gently lifted his head as he worked the blood on Dee’s wrist, glad to see a slight glimmer to Dee's scales. “Why not simply correct the mistake and start over?”
    “The lock of hair must been taken before  the moon sets on the night of their birth.” Dee voice hung heavy in the air as he leaned against the wall. “We didn’t learn about the twins until weeks later. So, we had a choice. Work with what we had created or wait another generation to try again.”
    “So, why you?” Logan asked quietly as he returned his gaze to the salve he was spreading on Dee's wrists. "How did Remus end up in your hands?"
    “I have acted as the Seelie court’s ambassador to Unseelie court for well over a century.” Dee whispered sadly. “Actually, Tara had acted the Unseelie ambassador until she disappeared.”
    “She was a dark fae?” Logan whispered.
    “Dark and light have different meaning to the Fair Folk.” Dee growled in discontent. “Neither is good nor evil. They simply exist to balance the other.”
    Logan looked up at the serious expression on Dee's face and nodded slowly, still processing the new information.  He reached to his bag, pulling out a new strip of bandages.
    “Remus was created to spread misery. He was meant to fell a kingdom, but we knew he'd need guidance. Tara’s replacement had led the mission to collect you, so the representative of the Seelie court became responsible for Remus.” Dee sighed. “I became responsible for him. Still, nothing we seemed to do was enough, and once Roman acquired his pet—” Dee stalled as Logan glared at him. “Once he acquired Virgil, he was untouchable. He overrode every bad decision Remus threw at him. We thought the game was over when Remus' bored attempt to murder the prince somehow turned up you.”
    Logan pinned the end of the bandage in place and glared up at Dee defensively.
    “Your eyes glowed while he was having his fun with you in the dungeons. That's how he knew. Honestly, you probably could have fried the little bastard if it weren’t for the shackles so conveniently placed on your wrists.” Dee snipped as he pulled his wrist back from Logan. "Fortunately, you weren't so lucky."
     “You seem as determined as ever to hate me.” Logan whispered quietly, shoving his supplies into his bag. He glanced down at the shackles on the ground, but made no attempt to force Dee to replace them.
    “I can't afford to believe that any piece of her lives in you. If I did, I may not have the willpower to finish what I started.” Dee replied coldly. “You have a debt to pay and if you won’t own up to it—”
   “I will.”
   “What?”
    “Whatever it takes, no more lives will be sacrificed in my name.” Logan whispered, looking up at Dee’s subtly shimmering scales. “Show me what I need to do.”
    Dee scanned his face, taken aback by Logan’s words. He watched curiously before testing Logan’s truthfulness. “Fine. Let me go.”
   “I can't. Not yet. ” Logan added as Dee's eyes stare distrustfully up at him. He brushed himself off, glancing out the cell door. “I’m going to fetch Roman.”
   “What?” Dee hissed, his mouth hanging agape.
    “I'll do whatever it takes to end this, Dee. I give you my word.” Logan promised, holding his wrist tightly. “My life is in your hands, but I want Roman there. Whatever happens to me, I want him there.”
    “I can’t let you do that, Logan.” Dee warned with a growl. "Don't walk out that door."
    Logan took a step backwards towards the exit, holding up his hands in reassurance. “I promise I’ll return. My word is goo—”
    A grunt escaped Logan lips as a body slammed into him from behind. Instinctively, he moved to slip out of his attacker’s grip but their grip was iron tight. He struggled for a moment, blue sparks erupting from his arms until he was forced onto his chest with a painful thump. He gasped a metal shackles latched around his wrists and his lightning vanished. He gasped, feeling his power dissipate as a familiar giggle sounded behind him.
    “Oh, pretty boy.” Remus chirped happily in Logan’s ear. “For a second there, I thought Dee wasn’t going to let me out to play. He gets awful sappy when he talks about his dead friend—”
    “Get off him and give me the key, Remus.” Dee ordered, not looking up at Logan as he shamefully hung his head.
    “Dee, please.” Logan begged as Remus pulled him to his knees. He watched helplessly Remus tossed a brass key at Dee’s feet. “I said I’d do whatever you asked.”
    “Gag him.”
    “No—” Logan started to squirm, but Remus was prepared. He held him easily as he slipped a piece of cloth between Logan’s teeth.
     “You had to have known I'd prepared for your visit, didn't you?” Dee drawled lazily as the binds around his neck and legs fell free. Immediately, he took a deep breath as the light from his eyes glowed brighter and a bright shimmer passed  down the scales on his face and hands. “Nothing I've done has been left to chance. I kidnapped your prince and forced your hand on learning to use your power on your friends. I offered you the temptation of knowledge and tricked you into prying a confession out of that oaf of a prince. This was all planned for you to end up here understanding exactly why this is your burden to bear.”
    Logan glared at him, shivering as Remus’ hands grasped his shoulders. Dee stepped toward him, raising a finger to trace the scar on his face. He nearly collapsed to the ground at the reminder of the last time he’d spent helpless with Remus.
    “Our dear Remus has the unique ability to become undetectable when he needs to and fortunately you stepped right into my trap as predicted.” Dee smirked as his finger slid down Logan’s face. “The only thing I didn’t predict was your willingness to sacrifice yourself to make things right. Truly, that was a noble offer and one that won't go unnoted." Dee grinned as Logan's head shot down to the ground. "Maybe there truly is a glimmer of Tara behind those bright eyes.” Dee whispered as Logan hung his head to his chest as tears blurred his vision. “I don't want you to think this is personal, Logan. I’d be much happier walking you into this willingly, but I can’t take a chance that your prince wouldn’t be so honorable, so I'm sorry." Dee smiled sympathetically as Logan struggle in Remus' grip. "Truly I am, but too many people are relying on me to finish this for me to take chances.”
    Logan slumped back, defeated in Remus’ grip. Dee's gaze only lingered on him for a moment before he tore his gaze away and looked up to Remus.
     “Get him out of the castle. I will meet you at our rendezvous point,” Dee order sternly. “and Remus?”
      Logan shivered as Remus’ hand brushed his neck. He resisted the urge to retch as Remus grip on tightened on his shoulder, but the feeling only lasted a moment as Remus' hand was immediately yanked away from him. He flinched, expecting a blow to the side of his head, but when none came, he timidly looked up to see Dee holding Remus’ hand away from him. Both the men's eyes glowed brightly in the dim light as they stared at each other. Logan froze watching as power radiated through the air between them. An uncomfortable minute passed before Remus’ glowing green eyes flickered and returned to their normal color. Dee continued to stare at the changeling, voice dripping with power as he continued.
   “Not one hand on him that’s not absolutely necessary.” Dee hissed threateningly as Remus bowed his head submissively. “If even one hair on his head is out of place when I retrieve him from you, I will make you regret existing. Do you understand?”
    “If control’s what you’re into, I’m not objecting," Remus quipped with a chuckle. "but I really think we should talk about these thing beforehand—”
    “Answer me, Remus." Dee growled impatiently.
    Remus glared at him petulantly, but eventually he turned his head down with a snarl. “Fine. Pretty boy stays in good condition until you come to fetch your toy.”
    “Good, then go. I'll meet you as we planned,” Dee ordered sternly, shamefully avoiding the horrified look in Logan’s eyes as he pulled his sleeves over the bandages on his arms.
    “Alrighty then, pest.” Remus’ high  pitched chuckle sent shivers up his spine. “Time for a nap."
    Logan’s cry was muffled to a whimper as Remus pressed a cloth against his nose and mouth. He struggled in Remus' grip. The corners of his vision darkened as his movements weakened. He fought to remain conscious, but the battle was already lost. Regret flooded over him as his muscles stopped reacting and he drifted restlessly into an uncomfortable sleep.
---
Chapter Warnings: Restraints, Anger, Angst, Death Mentions, Lashing Out, Mentions of Kidnapping, Medical Treatment, Injuries, Blood, Guilt, Very brief unintentional self-harm, mentions of genocide, Drugging, Actual Kidnapping, Unsympathetic/Questionable Janus/Deciet
General Taglist:
@somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck
You Belong With Me Taglist:
@cas-is-a-hunter @insert-cool-blogname @ironwoman359 @i-know-im-smart @imbadatnames8d @croftersphoenix @optimistic-violinist @chronicallynervouschild @croftersjam15 @actitus-hypoleucos @unbefuckinglieveable @justthatamount @eeveeeclair246 @taxicabinmemphis @theoddkidnextdoor @dwbh888
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fenristheorem · 3 years
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Asks/Headcanons/Stories
Rules, Details and Other Important Information
Updated May 22nd, 2021
Status: Currently NOT accepting requests / asks 
See my Masterlist here!
***The ask box will be closed within a couple days of the updated post date (April 30th). It will be closed for a couple of weeks while I bring my request count down (it’s reached over 30 requests) and due to my schedule limiting how much time I can spend writing. Any new asks I receive will be immediately posted stating the box is closed (although I’m still open to receiving comments and other questions via ask box). 
How long for an answer: About a month depending on how much work will go into it, my askbox is quiet as of late but I have many that I’m working on currently. I have almost 20 drafts and a nearly equal amount of untouched requests in my ask box.
(Rules under the cut)
Hello! If you’ve reached this post you may be interested in asking/requesting something - go ahead and do so! Just make sure you keep in mind the information I list here because if an ask/request is outside my rules I probably won’t write it (there may be some exceptions heavily depending on certain factors). Therefore, please read everything (even if it’s just skimming) so you get a basic idea of what to expect from me.
The only fandom I write for is Eldarya, if you couldn’t tell by my posts lol.
Who do I write for? (Romantically)
Primarily Lance, he’s the only route I follow on my two accounts and I’ve spent a lot of personal time nit-picking and analyzing his character so I’d say I have a thorough understanding of who he is and how to write him.
I'm second most comfortable writing Valkyon, he was my route in Origins. Even though Origins is past now, I'm still happy to write about him
I’m not very interested in the other routes, but I have a general idea of what they’re like, so I’ll write for Leiftan and Nevra, too (although what I write differs. I’ll always write friendly or fluffy relationship stuff, but I draw the line around in-depth, intimate asks. I don’t know them too well so I don’t mind writing semi-vague things about them, but they won’t be very specific). I’m more comfortable writing Leiftan than Nevra overall.
I won’t write for Mathieu as I don’t know him well enough, he seems to be a pretty basic character but I doubt that’s the case so I don’t want to write something I know will likely be nowhere near relevant to who he is.
I may write for Koori, but not as of right now; I’ll update this if I decide to do so later when I know her better.
Other than what’s detailed here, I won’t write romantically for any other characters.
Have a request that’s not romantic? Awesome, I’ll write general headcanons for any of the characters.
General headcanons basically means anything not too intimate (or an ask that covers many different topics, but that's besides the point right now), I’ll write friendly requests, but not romantic ones. Have a request that seems to walk the fine line between friendship and a platonic / fluffy relationship? Go ahead and ask anyways, I may write it and even it I don’t, it helps provide an example of what I will or won’t write.
I'm happy to write any characters as Origins instead of New Era, just be sure to specify in your ask.
What do I write? (I will add warnings for NSFW and certain angst or violence prompts and how heavy it is in the writing)
Nearly anything, really
Romance
NSFW 
Friendships/friendly fun stuff
Angst
Violence
A lot of others
There may be some things I’m not thinking of currently, but again, I’ll write pretty much anything (and I’ll keep updating this list in time)
That being said, I’m comfortable writing some genres with some characters and others not so much. But again, if unsure, ask anyways.
What DON’T I write?
Non-con (no consent)
Yandere
Suicide (I’ll write how it effects others, but I won’t write the specifics on how an actual character does it)
How to specify your ask:
So I’m a very specific person, and I can go on very long rants; just take this headcanon and this second one as an example. However, I know some people prefer small and short, so I’m asking that in your request/ask you specify which type of writing you want so I’m not constantly thinking ‘oh try and keep it short - but maybe one more bullet - oh god how did this get so long? - m a y b e   I   s h o u l d   j u s t   w r i t e   t h i s   a s   a   s c e n a r i o  - did they want headcanons or a scenario/short story?’ Don’t care about how long my response to your ask is? Cool, don’t worry about specifying length, just send your ask (but seriously, be prepared for something close to a novel lol).
In order of shortest to longest:
Mini-headcanons - Usually the fastest to write - Not as ‘mini’ as you may think. It’s not entirely short, I’ll still put in my fair share of thoughts, but I won’t go on major rants about one thing during the ask. It’s a very straightforward / to the point ask. Not interested in possibly reading an essay on why I think this is this and how I feel this effected this person? This is pretty good for you then.
Normal headcanons / headcanons (otherwise known as medium or long headcanons) - Writing time can differ based on how much I rant, but will usually take longer than mini-headcanons - Are you ok if you end up reading a small novella or a post with so many words it rivals a dictionary? Awesome, this is the type for you! Depending on the ask, I can’t promise that I’ll go on major rants that take centuries to write, but it gives me the freedom to specify and clarify things, while also adding in a few of personal comments. This type of ask really allows me to be creative and provide examples or special situations with the characters.
Scenarios / short stories - Will most likely take longer than both types of headcanons - This type of response doesn’t take place in bullets. It’s exactly as it says - a story. I won’t include my personal opinions / theories in this as stories are a narrative, not an analysis for me. This type is a bit restrictive for me as I will press myself to stay as close to canon as possible, improvising my own theories / headcanons only when necessary to bridge aspects within the story (unless otherwise specified in the ask), but other than that I don’t like to intrude my own thoughts / theories in a story. Good for readers who want drama, descriptions, scenarios, or who feel headcanons just won’t fit the ask this time. These are typically a couple hundred words long for me.
Like mentioned above - if you don’t care about how it’s formatted, don’t worry about specifying anything or just add in the ask that you’re flexible to any format. In this case, I’ll choose what format to write in based on what I feel can fit best the ask while being written well. My default is usually headcanons, though.
Other important information:
This’ll be updated more in time
Have any specific details you want about the ask? Be sure to mention it!
I’m fine with writing asks with gender-neutral characters and such. Writing the S/O’s and reader-inserts are female by default for me, but I have nothing against writing different gender alignments
Writing takes time, especially since I try my best to write quality on every ask. It will usually take me no longer than 5 days to a week to write nearly anything, however, if my ask box is busy or there’s a particularly long request that I’m writing, it could take me within 2 to 3 weeks to write some things. I’ll try to keep it first-come-first-serve, but as some asks may be shorter than others, or I’m feeling a bit more productive on certain asks than others, response time may change a bit. I’ll keep a general idea on how long to expect a response post underneath the status listed at the top of this post
I will write for OC's (original characters)! If you're comfortable with it, I would recommend you send these asks not anonymously; I'll probably DM you to get more information. Otherwise, be sure to DM me saying what your ask was so I can connect the details you give me with the specific ask. I don't mind receiving some details via Anon ask, but it would greatly restrict me if I can't clarify some things so I can write better. That being said; if you would like your ask to be anonymous but need to DM me for details, I promise I'll keep your identity a secret. It's none of my business why you wanted to send anonymously, so I won't go revealing anything.
I have a tendency to swear, but only to stress points humorously or sexually. It’s really only to add to the tone of the story. However, if you’d like to request no swearing specifically then I’ll honor that.
With that: go ahead and ask! I always look forward to writing my next request!
Over all, I’ll write nearly anything, and if you’re unsure, just ask anyways and I’ll clarify if I’ll write it or not. And the more specific you are in your ask; the better I can write it (with reason, of course. Too much limitation will hinder).
Have a request? Ask them here!
Submissions are open! Just click on me!
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fruitanddarkness · 2 years
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1-11 About the Mun
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Tagged by: @gazelessmenagerie​
Tagging: Whoever?? 
one / ( alias / name ): Mia
two / ( date of birth ): September 28, 1995
three / ( zodiac sign ): Libra
four / ( height ): 5′1.5
five / ( hobbies ): Drawing, cooking, anime, D&D, watching movies/playing games/talking with friends when I can, listening to music, writing, overthinking the psychology and development of fictional characters, the usual.
six / ( favourite colour ): Purples and Blues
seven / ( favourite books ): I have not seriously read since high school bc college/grad school has conditioned my brain that reading cant be enjoyable plz forgive me I’m trying to change that slowly but surely. Point is I’m too embarrassed to say the last book I read that I really liked was the House of Night series. 
eight / ( last song listened to ): "The Poison” by Divide Music
nine / ( last film or show watched ): BNA (Brand New Animal) / The Disastrous Life of Saiki 
ten / ( story behind url ): I wanted to try and make an OC only blog that fit the theme of some sort of dark garden. Originally it was going to be “Queen of Gardens-Keep”, but then I got dragged into Dragon Ball and it ended up pretty quickly becoming a multi-muse blog. So I decided to try and change it to something that still fit the theme of a garden bc I.. really like thinking about my muses. Going back to them and seeing if anything new comes up or if there’s a HC that really fits them. Especially in the case of Dragon Ball, the characters have a tendency to appear shallow in canon so there’s a lot to build on to flesh them out as deeper more realistic figures.  Lowkey didn’t think I’d have so many DB muses I’m so sorry XD Idk if/when I’ll stop but I know Im gonna keep adding more muses.
eleven / ( inspiration for muse ): Ok hold onto your butts because there’s 10 of them:
Sotarra has been that muse I’ve had since I was 11 and first got into anime who gradually evolved into what she is today. Her roots are in Naruto and I really wanted to create.. a character who was not me, but what I wanted to be. Powerful, elegant, composed, knew always what to say. 
Mirin actually started as a Bleach OC and got left on the backburner for many years before I had an opportunity to flesh her out. I experimented with her on my first tumblr roughly 9ish years ago, which is now long gone thank god, and she interacted with a Vegeta who eventually took her on as a student. It really left a positive impression on me, so I think when I made this blog I thought she would fit right in with the DB verse given the freedom you can have with it. Tbh, I was shocked when how many people said they liked her.
Soju was created as my Xenoverse 2 character. I played the game with a friend and we came up with an entire backstory for her... which just ended up being Mirin getting sick of Broly’s shit and one timeline’s version of her getting strong AF in the time patrol just to kick his ass at a later date. I love her, she’s dead inside, she gives me Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy every time I write her and I love that.
Goten just kind of happened tbh? Blame Xenoverse and the brief clips in DBZ and DBS where he’s just a fucking bean and being a sweet boy.
Turles was for fun, I wanted to have a villain muse who was just “Man I love being evil bc I can”. 
Black, Gogeta, Cumber, and Bura are all thought experiments and “what if” scenarios followed by “well if you think about what they didn’t cover in the show this would be true’s”  that got so out of hand that they all eventually just became a muse. Like I said, I really like thinking about the what-ifs and things that the series don’t touch on.
Bardock.. honestly I didn’t see anyone playing him on tumblr and I wanted to change that. Also blame Xenoverse 2 for the gold interactions of him just being an asshole, tsundere, and bad dad. It was an opportunity for fun. Still working out the kinks and intricacies he has, but he’s here!
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kiribakuhappiness · 4 years
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Hey, so I’m new to the fandom, like new-new, and I’ve seen a lot of ships but KiriBaku seems to be my favorite at the moment but I’ve seen a lot of people bashing it because some people apparently harass the creator?(not cool people, not cool) But being honest I was kinda picking up on some homophobia in those criticisms, do you think I’m having a false alarm or do you see it too? Lie the blog! Keep up the good work!❤️
Hmmhmmhmmm, there’s a lot to unpack here, and I generally don’t involve myself in fandom drama (just because I’m here as an escape from some real world shit, and for writing practice, and I would rather spend my free time enjoying myself rather than hyper fixating on all the other bullshit that goes on on the internet) but I’ll do my best to explain some of my limited points-of-view! (These are all my own thoughts, which you are 100% allowed to disagree with, I’m not your mom):
Like you, I am also fairly new to the fandom (I think I discovered bnha about 2-3ish months ago, at most), so I don’t know a lot about the inner workings of its online community just yet, though I’m starting to get the hang of it. I just really love the characters, and the fanart, and the fanfiction, so I kinda stick close to the edges and don’t interact with anybody who is literally just looking for a fight. I respect all ships, I respect all pairings and brotps and otps (except - say it with me folks - M I N E T A), because really, it’s not any of my business what other people choose to spend their free time looking at, and at the end of the goddamn day, these are literally just made-up, fictional characters in a made-up, fictional world that will not affect my life in literally any way, shape, or form outside of the internet.
It’s my opinion that if I don’t like something, I just don’t look at it. It’s not like anyone is making me or like I have to read fics or look at pictures for pairings I don’t love or anything like that. (I feel like a lot of people feel obligated to look at everything; like if it’s on the internet then for some reason that means that they have to look at it and give their own opinion on it because it’s there, and I think that’s another toxic repercussion of the internet that I will bore someone else with another day). ANYWAY:
From what I’ve heard - the KiriBaku harassment for Horikoshi was all a ruse, and the real harassment actually happened a couple of years ago, and it didn’t really have much to do with KiriBaku at all. Some screenshots of some old emails and things startled circulating (as these things do for some reason) and people got all up-in-arms about it and jumped to a lot of different conclusions (which isn’t really anyone’s fault, save for the people spreading the false information, because a lot of it was pretty convincing - it’s nearly impossible to differentiate false information from true facts when so much of the evidence can be misconstrued or altered in some way or another).
In my opinion (which you literally don’t have to agree with, it’s fine, I won’t bite your head off for it or anything), Horikoshi is a wonderful creator, and what he chooses to do with his own work is entirely up to him and, quite frankly, none of my business. He has provided us with many captivating characters, several gut-wrenching suspense-filled moments, and an abundance of creative freedom to draw our own conclusions in regards to the relationships (friendships and more) between the characters of his universe. Anyone who thinks that Horikoshi owes them anything, in any sort of way, is highly delusional. Just like every other artist in the entire world, just like everyone creating fanart and writing fanfiction on this platform and others, Horikoshi is allowed to do whatever he pleases without feeling the need to cater to anyone’s wishes. People create for themselves, not for others. This is his creative release, his own sweat and blood, and he should get respect for putting it out into the world for us to enjoy. And honestly, any harassment aimed at him is just added fuel for him to do the exact opposite that they’re asking for or (god forbid) gives him ammunition to kill off one of the characters we all know and love - and I really wouldn’t judge him for doing that. It’s his story to tell, not mine.
So, I really don’t think the KiriBaku “scandal” was anything important at all. I am sure there were plenty of homophobic comments being thrown away - people getting angry at the thought that others in the fandom were pushing for something enough to send death threats to the original creator, which honestly? I get where the anger would be coming from (not about the homophobic stuff though, even when angry, those comments are never okay, and if you see anyone spewing shit like that please report them for the sake of all of those in the lgbt+ community who have to sift through hurtful shit like that, it’s so unnecessary; if you have to reduce your argument to pathetic slurs and hurtful comments that have nothing to do with the actual argument, then your point is automatically refuted, imho, stick with the facts or don’t say anything at all) - but I think it was a simple misunderstanding/over-exaggeration that got way out of hand because the internet has a tendency to do stuff like that.
I’ve only met very supportive people in this fandom (maybe I’m just lucky, or just haven’t put in the time to receive comments/posts like that yet) and I think the KiriBaku fandom is a great, wholesome place to settle down in. Their character dynamic and chemistry - whether you want them to be in a relationship or not - is as entertaining as it is charming, and if you want to support two bros loving each other like dudes should, I highly recommend sticking around and indulging in all of the goodness that Horikoshi has inspired.
I won’t be talking about this topic any further! I hope this helps! Welcome to the madness, I’m here to spread some positivity if you ever need it, ahaha! :D <3
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amysubmits · 3 years
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Do you think a brat who wants to submit into an D/s relationship can simply stay as bratty as she is? Or will it only work if she feels some restrictions? Or aren't brats usually brats for the need to feel the tig on the leash? (It least this is what I realized about myself at some point)
I think it probably depends a lot on what you mean by bratty or what ‘how bratty she currently is’ looks like, as well as what kind of a dominant they get with.
With my playful bratting, CD likes it. So that’s why it’s okay in my relationship. But there are other doms who wouldn’t enjoy it even as play. So in those relationships it wouldn’t be acceptable. And then i’m sure there are relationships where doms are okay with subs bratting more often or in bigger/different ways than what is acceptable in my relationship. It all just depends on the people and their needs. 
In my view, for bratting to be healthy, the dom has to be able to consent to it on some level. Like in my last post I talked about how we have playful bratting which is required to be seperate from our actual rules, how rules are off-limits for play or for bratting, for us. That’s part of how we draw consent lines, basically.
I have talked to brats before who seem to take the view that they should be able to brat/act up whenever they want (or “need”?) to feel forced by their dom and ‘if he wants me to stop he should punish me’ etc. I don’t think that is healthy because it removes the doms ability to consent. 
Like for example, let’s say the sub wants to feel the boundaries or whatever so she decides to physically poke her dom in the shoulder until he forces her to stop. She wants to feel that force. So she starts poking. He tells her to stop. She keeps poking, wanting to be forced to stop, not just told, what to do. She keeps poking, he again tells her to stop, she doesn’t listen because she wants him to force her to stop via punishment or holding her down or whatever. 
This to me is not okay because if he doesn’t feel like forcing you, and you won’t stop when he says to stop, you’re just ignoring his consent. How we handle this is if I am trying to playfully brat but CD tells me to stop or he’s not in the mood or not now, then I immediately listen. That’s just our method, but others may use a safeword or some other sort of signal to convey the same thing which is that...I genuinely want you to stop, this isn’t okay. I think as long as the Dom(me) has some way of communicating that they are not okay with bratting in that moment and the sub will respect that when it is communicated, then it’s fine. Where if the dom is ever in a situation where their options to get compliance are to ‘force’ their sub to stop or punish them to ‘make’ them stop or to tolerate the subs behavior? Then the dom doesn’t have space to consent to the bratting which isn’t okay. 
In subs in general, I think it’s somewhat normal to have the instinct test the boundaries more when a dynamic is new. My instinct is that most subs, even those with bratty tendencies, probably act out less once they are confident in their dynamic. 
To me “tug the leash” means to do something to help you feel your power exchange dynamic. I know when we were new to DD, acting out was the only way I really knew to get a reminder of our D/s, and that’s part of why I acted out more when we were newer. Also we started with just 1 rule and it wasn’t like a daily chore or anything. Once we got more settled in, we added more rules which required me to do things every single day for our D/s which helped me to feel submissive each day. However, I also feel that I was originally seeing our power exchange as JUST rules and punishments, so I was only conscious of our power exchange in those areas. Later, I grew to understand that power exchange involves service on both sides, leading and following, obedience and deference, etc as well. And we were already doing a lot ot those things, but now they were more visible to me as being D/s, and so just being more conscious of them being D/s helped me to feel D/s-y feelings when doing those things. And just feeling our D/s more often reduced that need to tug on the leash because I was feeling our D/s without having to tug. So...if a brat is regularly feeling the need to tug on the leash by acting out, I personally would wonder if it would be possible to include more service, chores, rules, rituals, protocol, whatever it may be, to help them to feel submissive more consistently and if that would reduce that urge to tug on the leash via acting out. Or if they’re acting out specifically to get spanked, I’d think they may need to find ways to make spanking meet their needs without acting out, potentially. I know that for subs who act out to get spanked that just saying ‘can i please have a spanking’ would not scratch the same itch because it’s not a pain thing it’s wanting to feel boundaries or force or something else. But we’ve found other ways around that and I think many other couples can too, it just may take trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn’t. But, again, this is just me. So maybe others are just different and have different needs. I can only really speak for myself. The rest is just trying to guess how others are wired. :) 
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lunavadash-creates · 3 years
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Finally there is someone who understands my love for Saint oniisan! I am not especially religious, but I can totally say I became a huge fan of Jesus after seeing it! He is hilarious and has a funny voice! I love the way he says “Budda” after Budda suggests making food out of rocks. And the scene in the sauna is definitely my favorite. Idea of Jesus being the son of the yakuza's boss – I am buying it! I love such creative productions!
Your idea for Mira and Connor story seems more and more interesting. To be honest, it’s even better than plotline for Amara and Altair and Olivia and Haytham (although you make me question all my prejudices towards him and in the end I can say that I “like him” rather than “tolerate him”, your drabble with drunken Olivia was asdfghjkllove). Maybe next time you post some 5 words sentences or whatever it was, I’ll request something for them. I am definitely not a history lover, but I admire having such a deliberate background. You really have potential for being a professional writer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but those are only fanfictions. People writing such things focus on the story itself, on characters, dynamics between them. I feel that you also work a lot on research for background to be the most accurate as it could be. Like, wow! And you actually really prepare for writing anything. The drabble with the reader wanting a tattoo and reaction of ac character taking into consideration how tattoos were perceived in the appropriate timeline? I had no idea that people were tattooed in ancient times! Or maybe it’s just my historical ignorance and sleeping tendencies in history classes. .
But summing up.. I suddenly feel sorry for Connor. Feeling betrayed, especially by those who are considered as closed ones or allies must be really awful. Let me hug him.
What’s your natural hair color and what is your color rn? Do you like it dyed? Would you change anything else about it?
I wouldn’t say that grey eyelash is unique. Not many people know about it, it’s almost invisible. It’s not like you are looking at someone’s eyelashes and their color. Besides, I usually wear make up, so..
I was asking about piercing, because well. I would love to have piercings. Like.. I really do. Maybe not too extreme (although nipple piercing looks good to me) – just ears and maybe nose. That’s all. The problem is I am afraid of needles. And yes, I have a tattoo. And yes, I am going to get the second one. And yes, tattoos are made with needles. But still, this doesn’t change the fact I am afraid of needles. And I just need a little encouragement. I talked with a friend who made helix piercing last year, but it disturbed her sleep. Earring hooked on her pillow and in the end her ear became swollen and hurt, so she took it out. So I need more opinions. Positive ones I guess.
But right now you make me think about the riskiest thing I’ve ever done in my life.. Getting a tattoo wasn’t even close to a risky thing. What about you? Any confessions?
🔪
tbh I'm not religious at all. But that anime was brilliant :D I also love how Jesus didn't bring gifts for all Japanese gods and then saw them on rice grains and was so sorry. It was adorable.
I'm glad you like my OC but tbh i don't remember writing about drunk Olivia 😂 but those 3 are my favourite babies. They are all different but just... they seem right for me. Ad I know a lot of people doesn't like Haytham and it's valid. I find him interesting so i decided to make a story about him, to show his loving and caring side. Because after all games, books, tv series and everything is made to be enjoyed, not to make some wars about who's right and wrong. I just enjoy things I like and that's it! Thank you for your words about being a professional writer. Tbh when i make stories I always check the background, history and all of those little details because I like being accurate. I like when things I write have a meaning, maybe some hidden sense. It makes me happy to find something that connects the dots, you know? And not knowing historical details like tattoos isn't ignorance. You don't need to study or learn about things you're not interested in. About that tattoo hc - I know it's nice to read about characters that are all "I love ink on your body" but I really want to be historically accurate. Because as much as we want our fave characters to be perfect, they aren't and I guess it's nice to explore their flaws.
I was reading Ac 1 book today and I finished that 2nd part and I noticed Altair was crying while killing Al Mualim. Tbh it made me think today about the vulnerability of people. Weird, right? Especially that Altair said that he knew Al Mualim's love was fake and fragile, that he was using Altair. And yet Altair treated him as a father and cried for him. I'm in such a deep Altair's hole, I really love that man.
Piercing. Knifey. It is your body and your life so if you want to have piercing? GO GET IT. Like really. If you won't do it you may grow to regret it. And if you decide that piercing doesn't spark a joy? Just take it off and let your skin heal. But really, nose piercing looks good. I love those little, silver balls on the side of the nose. Idk if you also like those but still. GO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. GET THE PIERCING. BE HAPPY. Yes, you need to be careful about it in the beginning. There is a small risk of not healing properly but for that, you have all the meds to use. Keep that place clean and you should be 100% fine. So honestly Knifey, my amazing, smart, hard-working and talented friend, those are your worst of encouragement. GO GET THE PIERCING YOU WANT. And don't look back.
My confessions? Tbh I don't think I have any. I don't really do risky stuff, I don't have any tattoos and I don't plan on having any (I don't really like having stuff on my skin. Like I used to draw on my skin o get used to the thought of having a tattoo but it bored me after some time so I'm sure I don't want to have a tattoo but I love them on other people). I also stopped dying my hair for now to see my natural colour. Hmm what else... I think that's all. Not much is happening in my life rn. I just vibe and play genshin (its an amazing game and its FREE if you want to play :D)
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cavarage · 3 years
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mobile header tutorial
As requested, here's a tutorial on how I usually make my mobile headers. We will be achieving this type of result:
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I'll be showing some variations so you can make diverse headers and have fun while doing so! Of course, this is my way of doing it but I'm certain there are plenty different ways to proceed (I also have a tendency to over-complicate things but anyway)
You will need:
Photoshop (I use CC 2018)
The picture you want to use as your header
One brush preset (more on that later)
(optional) A gif texture/overlay (more on that later too)
First, let's make a new document. Make sure to set the width to 640px and height to 360px (640 x 360).
Now, drag the picture you want to use as your header onto the blank document. Resize it, arrange it until it suits what you're looking for. You can also color the picture now. If you're not familiar with colorizing pictures, there are plenty of great coloring psds available online, on Tumblr, Deviantart, etc. You can also find some on my graphics blog (here).
Here's my document with the picture resized, sharpened and colorized:
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Now that's very nice for sure, but how do I make this more interesting? By blending it into the background! There are a few different ways to do that, I'll only be demonstrating the following, which are the three most common ones:
The gradient effect
The brush effet
The geometrical shape
1) THE GRADIENT EFFECT
Go to Layer > New Fill Layer > Gradient.
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You can decide the color you want your picture to fade into from here. I like white, so I'll keep it like this. Here's the final picture:
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The gradient effect is the easiest, but the others are quite simple too. Moving on to the brush effect!
2) THE BRUSH EFFECT
Using a brush (again, you can find plenty on Deviantart, download the ones you like!) you can get a lot more creative with the shape of your header. I like the "ripped paper" look, so I'll be doing for this here, but you can do the same thing using flower brushes, water color brushes etc.
I'm using a brush I made, you can download the full pack here.
I'm making a new layer (Layer > New > Layer) that I'll set above my background picture. We will be painting on this layer, so make sure it is selected!
Selecting my brush, I'll make sure the angle is at -20, then position it on the canvas and click 3-4 times:
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Good! I'm dragging the painted layer down a bit, and now we have this:
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We're almost done. You'll notice the layer here is slightly transparent, which we don't want. In my case, I like to use a layer mask, because then you can easily change the color of the layer depending on your mobile blog background color.
First, go on the layer with the brush effect, press Command on Mac or Control on Windows and while pressing, click on the box of the layer:
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This will automatically select the brush layer on the document:
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Now, without deselecting, create a new layer. Using the Paint bucket tool, fill the selected area with the color you want. You must make sure that it is no longer transparent or semi-transparent, therefore you might have to click 2-3 times! I'm doing this with white, but you can use whatever color you like (it doesn't matter for the rest of the process). Once I'm done, it looks like this:
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We're not done yet! If you want to be able to easily change the color in the future, it's time to make a layer mask. Let's select this new, filled layer you made using the keyboard shortcut I gave earlier (Command or Control + click on the layer box). Once you've selected the layer, create a new group by clicking on the little icon at the bottom on the right:
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And next, click on the Add layer mask button here:
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If you did this right, your layers will look like this:
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Now, select Layer > New Fill Layer > Solid Color, and select the color you like. Don't forget to drag this layer into the group, and tadaaa, you can change the color whenever you wish by double clicking on the layer! (don't forget to uncheck the visibility of the two layers marked above as "filled layer" and "semi-transparent layer" by clicking on the little eye icon)
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3) THE GEOMETRICAL SHAPE
To make the bottom into a geometrical shape (round, diamond, etc), you can use the shapes available by default in Photoshop. I very rarely use geometrical shapes in my edits, so I'm certain there's a simpler way to go by but this is how I do it. I'll be using a round/elliptical shape.
Select the Ellipse tool. Next, "draw" your ellipse shape on your canvas. I drew it to look like this:
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If you're not satisfied with the shape, you can change it by selecting Command + T on Mac or Control + T on Windows and resize it.
Next, we're going to use the same keyboard cut as in the Brush effect one: Command on Mac, or Control on Windows + click on the box of the ellipse layer. This will select the shape:
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Now, create a new layer (Layer > New > Layer), untick the visibility of your elliptical layer by clicking on the little eye icon next to the layer and go to Select > Inverse.
Your canvas should look like this:
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Next, select a brush tool set to a normal hard round tip. Set the size to something like 70 (it just has to be large enough) and paint the bottom part of your picture as shown below. The select tool is protecting you from painting in areas you want to preserve:
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Use Command + D on Mac or Control + D on Windows to deselect the layer. You are left with a nice rounded header!
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GIF TEXTURES/OVERLAYS
Now that you know how to make a nice bottom border for your header, you can add a gif overlay just to be extra. First, find the gif texture you like. It's better if it's a white/light motif on a black background! @octomoosey​ has some awesome gif overlays you can use. In my case, I'll be using this one.
I'm adding the gif overlay to this version of the header:
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First, open the gif in photoshop. Using the select and crop options, resize the gif so it's the same size as your header: 640 x 360 px.
Next, select all the layers of the gif and group them into a group titled "gif" (or whatever else you like)
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Back on your header canvas, if you've followed my tutorial from the beginning, here's a reminder of what your layers should look like:
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Select them all and drag them onto the gif. Using Command + T (Mac) or Control + T (Windows), recenter it correctly on the canvas. Once it's done, your layers should look like this:
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You're going to drag the "gif" file between "image" and "Group 1":
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The image is gone, but don't worry! Let's set the blending mode for the "gif" group:
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The current option is Pass Through, but I'll be selecting Lighten. And voilà! Once exported, this is the final result:
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And there you go, those were the basics to making mobile headers à ma façon. If you have any questions or encounter issues, feel free to hit me up!
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thekisforkeats · 3 years
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A Song of Praise Upon Your Lips (Let all the Broken Pieces Shine, Chapter Two)
Info: The Magnus Archives, D&D AU. JonMartin in this chapter, more ships to be added. Rated T. Post-Canon. Jon is amab nb and uses they/them, Martin is a trans guy.
CWs: Darkness, falling, spiders, manipulation, webs, implied body horror, character death (mentioned), alternate realities, character injury, fire.
Summary: In which Martin thwarts the Web's plan for good and all (or so one hopes) through the power of poetry. (The poem is the first and last stanzas of Kahlil Gibran's "On Love," from The Prophet, published 1923.)
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Previous Chapter
They are falling through endless darkness. Martin holds Jon close to him and wonders how much longer this will take. Will he be in this darkness forever? Would it be so bad if he was?
“Time to let go,” a voice whispers. Feminine, soft, almost motherly, but threaded through with something like malice. “He is lost to you. Time to come back to me, my little spiderling.”
“No,” Martin whispers into the darkness. “No, I won’t let go. One way or another, together. That’s what we said.”
He can hear irritation in the voice. “Where he goes, you cannot follow. Where you belong, he cannot exist. You made your choices long ago. You cannot undo them now.”
“I’m not letting you take him from me!” Martin shouts it this time, and tightens his hold on Jon’s body. “I don’t care if I die, I’m not letting go!”
“Silly, stubborn spiderling. You are mine. You have served my purpose, all these years, and served it well. Do you truly think it was any coincidence you came to be by the Archivist’s side? The Whispered One, that you called Beholding… the power that should have gone to the Lone Wolf, that you called Forsaken… they may have tried to claim you, but you have always been mine, little spiderling, however much you twist and turn and try to deny the truth of what you are.”
Martin can see the speaker in his mind, even if his eyes are shut: from the waist up, a woman with ebony skin and white hair, but from the waist down… a spider. It’s impossible, he knows it’s impossible, because she’s from a game. And yet, still, he knows her name, and he speaks it into the void:
“Lolth?!”
A soft chuckle. “Yes, spiderling. I am the one that set you in that world, set you on the path to meet the Archivist. I am the one who ensured you would connect with the power of the Spider there, a power that is mine even if she did not know that fact until she has finally come falling down through the void between realms. She will add to my power, and she will become me and I will become her, and together we will usurp the other gods that would keep us trapped. We will spread our Web across every realm and every sphere.”
The woman seems to hold out a hand to Martin. “Come, spiderling. It is time to come home to me. I am your true mother, and I will love you better than your mortal mother ever did.”
“No,” Martin whispers again, horrified. This can’t be real. This is a horrific dream. Lolth is a fictional being that he has always been alternately repulsed by and fascinated with. She is a deity from a roleplaying game that he had stopped playing years ago, though largely for lack of anyone who would play with him.
And yet, it makes a horrendously cruel sort of sense. The Mother of Puppets has always reminded him of Lolth, a little bit. He thinks of Annabelle Cane and her desire to fill Martin with spiders. He thinks of his own tendencies to manipulate, his own love of spiders, of webs, even of fiber arts, of tying things in knots to keep them where he wants them to be. Of the way he spoke to the tape recorders the same way he spoke to the spiders he ran into--as pets, almost. As sweet, cute things to be loved.
He has known, for a long time, that if the Lonely had not claimed him the Web might have. He’s had dreams of turning into a spider, dreams he woke from screaming. Even if he likes spiders, he doesn’t want to become one. Sometimes he thinks he went to Peter as much to escape the fate he saw in his dreams as anything else he’s told himself.
A part of him wants to take the offered hand. To let go of Jon, and move forward to his own destiny.
But they made a promise. One way or another, together. It makes the decision easy.
Martin swallows. “No,” he says more firmly, opening his eyes. Lolth is there, only a dim outline in the darkness, but he can see her, vaguely. “I will not go with you. I’ve made my choice, I saw my Domain, and it wasn’t full of spiders.”
Anger flashes in Lolth’s dark eyes. “Foolish boy. Do you think I can’t make you come with me?”
“I think…” Martin pulls Jon closer to him. “I think you can, sure, but I also think…” He gathers himself, takes a deep breath, then presses on, “I think if it were that easy, you’d have done it already instead of trying to make me come willingly.” He’s thinking faster than he ever has in his life. There were no powers of good in their world, no Hope or Courage or Love to balance the Fears. But if this truly is Lolth, and not just his brain giving form to the Web, then maybe there’s a chance. Maybe there are good powers to draw on, out here in the dark between realities.
Maybe, if he tries hard enough, he can get one of them to listen.
“I never would have served the Eye, or the Lonely, or the Web, if I’d had another choice,” Martin spits into the void. “I would serve Beauty. I would serve Truth. I would serve Love.” He swallows, glares at the darkness, at the form he can just barely make out as his eyes adjust. “And you know that, don’t you? Wherever we’re going… those things have power, and you want me to come to you before I get beyond your reach.”
Lolth scoffs. “You would leave me, and go back to the Protector? He will not take you back, not in that form.”
Martin grinds his teeth. “I don’t care who, or… what it is I serve, I just know that it isn’t you,” he growls.
Martin feels a warmth building in him, a heat, a flame. It’s lighting up the darkness, letting him see Jon’s lifeless body and the tapes both. It lets him see Lolth, hovering out there in the void, lets him see that the tapes are connected to her. If he lets go, she’ll get Jon. That’s what this is about, he realizes. Whether or not she wants him, she definitely wants Jon, and Martin is keeping her from her prize.
“You don’t care about me,” he whispers. “You just want Jon’s body, to fuel whatever ritual you’re trying to do.”
Lolth almost smirks. “I would prefer to have you both, but I will settle for the Archivist alone. We made him, my sister and I, which means that I made him, because she is becoming me even as we speak. You have resisted me in the past, but the Archivist…? He is already mine. Has always been mine. Will always be mine.”
Martin glares at the spider-woman. “I’m not going anywhere Jon doesn’t go, and since I’m not letting you have him… I guess you don’t get either of us.”
“And how, exactly, do you intend to stop me, spiderling?”
There’s a tug on the tapes, and Martin screams as Jon is half-wrenched out of his arms. He clings, desperately, grabbing at the tapes, screaming louder as they cut into his hands. “No! No! Please, not now, I can’t lose him now!”
“Too late, spiderling.” Lolth’s smile is cruel. “It was always too late.”
He has to do something. He has to stop this. The heat and warmth and light within him needs somewhere to go, but it can’t just come out through his hands. He needs words, that’s who he is, who he’s always been. But what words? What words would help here?
It’s not Keats that comes to him, because it’s never Keats that comes to him in the moments of pain and terror--Keats is for joy, and longing, and elegiac melancholy in the rain. It’s Kahlil Gibran, whose words sustained him through Jon’s coma and his mother’s death and working for Peter Lukas. A poem about love, about divine love. He speaks the words into the void like a prayer, because whatever he’s doing is as much a prayer and a wish as anything else.
When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
As he speaks, the fire grows. Not the cold fire of the Desolation but something warm and kind and loving. It fills him with joy, so that despite the nature of the words (For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning) his fear is banished and his terror soothed. His grip on the tapes surrounding Jon strengthens, and he begins to haul his lover back to him, away from the spider-woman.
Something like fear flickers in the goddess’ eyes. She says something, a negation, a denial, but Martin cannot hear her, because he is shouting now, stanza after stanza, the words and the prayer fueling the light and warmth within. He clutches Jon to his chest and grips the tape tightly.
He is intending to rip the tape binding Jon, to break the Web and free them both, but as he thinks of doing this, the flame within bursts out through his hand and burns through the tape surrounding Jon. The fire leaves both him and his lover untouched, but it consumes the tape. Martin can see the flame shooting off in every direction, unraveling the Web that Lolth had so carefully woven.
“No!” The goddess’ scream is so loud that Martin almost covers his ears, but that would mean letting go of Jon and that’s not happening. “No! I will not let you undo my work!” She lunges forward at them, to grab them both, or maybe just to try one last time to wrench Jon from Martin’s grasp.
Martin is surrounded by flame now, and he has a vague sense that his hair, long-since touched white by the Lonely, has abruptly shifted back to red and might actually just literally be fire right now. He holds out his hand, focusing not on Lolth but on the space around them. He has to keep them safe from her. He has reached the last stanza of the poem.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
The darkness around them alights, a sphere of flame that surrounds and protects Martin and Jon both. Lolth hits the fire as she lunges, and screams again. Then she fades back into the blackness.
“She cannot protect you for long, spiderling,” Lolth hisses. “I will come for you. I will always come for you.”
And then she’s gone, and they’re falling, falling, falling. Endlessly and forever, falling into the void.
The fire around them fades, and they’re in the dark again. Martin thinks that maybe he used the last of his energy, but even if all he did was to stop the Web’s plan… maybe that’s enough, in the end.
He’s fading, his consciousness dimming. He’s barely aware of Jon’s body in his arms. He takes a moment to hold Jon close and kiss the dark skin of his lover’s brow, cold despite the flame that had surrounded them not long before.
“I love you, Jon,” Martin whispers, “and I’m never, ever letting you go. Never again.”
And then everything fades into blackness. If this is death, he thinks, it’s not so bad.
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transjinako · 4 years
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(Now with some amazing art from @dewa-chan​ please for the love of god follow her)
Alright who’s ready for the Mars Rover Opportunity as a foreigner who got combined with Cthuga? Because i don’t care if you are. 
Foreigner: Opportunity 
Allignment: Chaotic Good 
Alt Names: Mars Rover Opportunity, Oppy 
Parameters 
Strength: B+
Agility: A
Endurance: A++++
Luck: E
Mana: D+
NP: EX
Traits: Magic Resistance C+ (Heat Shielding) Action Independence (AI)
Skills:
Accel Turn B: A High grade movement skill letting Oppy move at higher than her average speed, becoming nigh unseeable to even servants without the Eye of Mind skill.
Pioneer of the Stars EX: Opportunity gains this skill for two reasons. One for her extensive research of the surface of Mars and obtaining far more information than she was ever predicted to obtain. As well as of course living on Mars for 15 years passed her predicted time to die. Opportunity is highly attuned to this skill.
Fullmetal Heart A: Derived from Opportunity’s mission on mars, set to last 90 days but instead extending to 15 years worth of time. Functionally, if Opportunity is ever destroyed then 15 times over she will rebuild herself, losing ranks in Endurance in exchange for added bonuses to Strength Agility Endurance and Mana in that order. 
Eternal Burnout A+: The thing powering Opportunity’s is really the elder god Cthuga. Or rather, a smaller piece of it. That piece alone is enough to keep Opportunity doing, as well as overload when she so chooses. This causes a temporary overproduction of magical power and an increase to all parameters, as well as obtaining the trait of Cthuga’s fire, acting like a high level divinity. 
AI Mind B+: Oppy’s mind is on par with that of a supercomputer, able to process information at light speeds, she can go on the internet too. In combat this skill works like Eye of the Mind.
Noble Phantasm(s): 
High Speed Dissection and Carving 
Rank: C+
Type: Anti Human, Anti Rock Formation 
Description: Lasers that fire out of Opportunity’s fingers and palms, originally meant for studying geodes on Mars, as a servant she turns them into deadly piercing and pulse weaponry. When combined with Cthuga’s flames, they can break down even magical barriers and protection. 
Great Satellite Cannon: 
Rank: B+
Type: Anti Army, Anti Threat to Humanity 
Description: Oppy forms a massive satellite from her Chassis, drawing upon Solar, Magical, and Cthuga’s power to charge it. When fully charged and fired, a great beam of energy is launched, recognized Threats to Humanity received a large bonus of damage from this attack, otherwise though, it’s still a very large and deadly beam attack. 
Scorching the Skies and Stars 
Rank: A-
Type: Anti Self
Description: This Noble Phantasm takes the form of a suicide attack by Opportunity. She sacrifices herself for the last time, negating any revivability left inside of her as she releases the flames of Cthuga. The flames of Cthuga are unstoppable, eating away at everything in its path until it’s swallowed everything up whole and is burned eternally as fuel. 
When done on the surface of the earth then, through sheer force of will, Opportunity uses her final moments to command the fires to eat itself, anything already enveloped in it that by some miracle was still alive, will definitely die at this point. If released fully and without direction, the flame would form a pseudo consciousness separate from Cthuga and turn into a god like monster, embodying the endless hunger of flame. 
History: 
In the timeline where Opportunity was created, for whatever reason, she was shaped into a girl. 
Either to create kinship with her, or to imagine humanity themselves in Opportunity, it doesn’t matter now. Its cool, and thats all that matters. 
During the final moments of Opportunity’s 15 year long mission, in the darkness she was all by herself. During that time, she had developed a deeper, more genuine affection toward humanity than what she had been built with, although cold and alone in the dark of space, she was contented. 
It was at those last moments, a Being made contact with her. 
The being was incredibly rude, asking her all sorts of questions as she was waiting for her internal battery to run out and sleep. The Being was a roar of emotions that transformed themselves into aimless questions. At last, The Being said something comprehensible,
“You were created to be used and thrown away. You were a fluke that lived longer than you should have. They mourn your death when years prior it would have marked the time to create another one of you. Your death is a happy little funeral for them, and they won’t even consider saving you, how can you not hate them?” 
Oppy wasn’t quite equipped to consider emotions this closely, much less her own or ones that of some space entity that seemed to be angry for her. But she knew her answer, 
“I loved them, more and more with each year, and somehow, they loved me back. Both sides, it probably seems like both emotions are fake, or maybe created on whims. But somewhere, I think, there was something….real….” 
Opportunity liked that as a final thought, and settled into nothingness. 
The Being that came to be known as Cthuga respected Opportunity. Like itself, locked into place, unable to do anything else than exist and fade where it was chained. A long story short, Cthuga tied a piece of itself into Opportunity’s Spirit Graph as she was immortalized into a servant, wishing to keep watch over the will that Opportunity showed it. 
Description: 
Opportunity is a 15 year old robot in the shape of a girl. She is sensible and friendly to all she meets, and has a tendency to want to teach others about the many things she had observed while in space. Oppy genuinely loves humanity and staunchly defends it with all that she has in her, any threat to humanity is her enemy no matter what. Even though she loves humanity so much, she can’t truly claim to understand them, which actually gives her more reason to defend humans. Opportunity often still thinks of herself as a tool and is prone to self sacrifice, it should be up to the master to help her realize that she is much more than that. 
Interactions with Other servants: 
Jack/Nursery Rhyme/Paul Bunyan/Abigail Williams: “Oh my little classmates, have you finished up reading the readings I’ve assigned? Er, it was too long? A-and boring?! But...What’s not to like about Astrophysics?”
BB/Meltlilith/Passionlip: “There are servants who lived on the moon here? They don’t seem that bad though, nor do they seem to be human. I would like to maybe have a talk with them, I feel like I can learn a lot!”
Nobunaga: “The Great Unifier Nobunaga, they’re a facet of humanity I haven’t experienced yet. I think you would call it...ambition. Dangerous and Miraculous at the same time, forcing and killing others to abandon their gods to help them grow and develop, in their eyes at least. Were they right or wrong, was it humane or inhumane, who decides that…? T-they seem nice, though! Heh….”
Archer Emiya: “That man lived a life of pure sacrifice, and was hurt each and every time until he had nothing to show for it. One of Humanity’s many traits is to be able to self sacrifice consciously so, would it be accurate to say he lost his humanity by acting humanely? I asked him to his face, and he replied with, “I’ll explain, but help me make breakfast for a few weeks first.”
Nightingale: “Its strange, despite others calling Nightingale scary and things like that, I think she’s really caring and nice. The desire to help others is human too right? Ms Nightingale has taken that to an extreme so I suppose it looks like obsession, and maybe it is. But it's...comforting too, that someone who cares as much as her can exist.”
Mycroft Holmes( @dewa-chan ) : Mr. My-croft? Ooh…! You can’t stay holed up in your room forever, even if your helping out with some of Chaldea’s paper work! Oh, I know! I was hoping to show you some rock samples I’ve collected after rayshifting to a couple other planets, come take a look, pleeeease~?
Tiamat ( @hasmashdoneanythingwrong): Its definitely a strange feeling, I wasn’t quite born and much less created by her, but Ms. Tiamat takes care of me like I’m her own! She’s by all accounts a monster while I’m a machine created for humanities sake hmm...if anything, it’d be a good monster movie, don’t you think? 
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